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#yeah I- dont know why it does that
tabooiart · 4 months
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THIS thing ^ says hewwo. UNIRONICALLY.
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endless-brainrot · 1 year
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still not used to making my own posts but i wanted to point out that when leo came home looking like this (i forgot which episode it was)
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mikey thought hed been crying, and IMMEDIATELY jumped off his chair to hug him
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HE LOVES HIS OLDER BROTHER.
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hey remember that caramel-carmel Fake Script i was writing? yeah it's technically not done but i'm tired of tinkering with it so here it is! we'll just say it's a uhhhh uncovered partial script or somethin
this is not in any way official! it's a 100% unaffiliated fanwork & i am Just Fucking Around for Funsies
~
BARNABY: oh, I love carmul!
FRANK: [long, disgusted pause] …what? 
BARNABY: Carmul! You know, those tasty little treats you’re holdin’!
FRANK: You mean caramel?
BARNABY: That’s what I said.
FRANK: [scoffs] No, you didn’t. You said carmul.
BARNABY: We’re sayin’ the same thing here.
FRANK: We absolutely are not!
JULIE: [giggles] You really aren’t.
BARNABY: Carmul, caramel, tomato, tomahto! What does it matter!
FRANK: [flustered, stammering] It - it matters! Julie, you agree with me, don’t you?
JULIE: Well… I don’t know, Frank! I think both are fun!
FRANK: You’re both wrong, then! Wally, you agree with me, don’t you?
WALLY: [hesitant] …I say carmul.
FRANK: No! Not you too! How could you poison him like this, Barnaby?
BARNABY: Don’t look at me! I’m innocent, honest!
FRANK: Ha! So you admit that carmul is the wrong pronunciation!
BARNABY: [groans] ah, geez… throw a dog a bone!
FRANK: I’d be delighted to if you’d just-
[distant yelp as Eddie trips off-screen] 
FRANK: Eddie! Thank goodness, finally someone who can put an end to this debate!
EDDIE: [nervous laugh] Oh no, what did I stumble into this time? 
BARNABY: Hold on a tic, Frank. Hey Ed, take this. What do you call that tasty treat?
EDDIE: [with a tinge of fear] A… caramel?
FRANK: [triumphant] a-HA!
SALLY: [approaching] Did someone mention carmul?
FRANK: AGH!
BARNABY: [delighted] Perfect timing, Sally!
SALLY: What, for a delicious morsel? Hand it over, thank you!
FRANK: You’re all wrong, and I’ll prove it! We’re going to go around the neighborhood and - wait. [under his breath] One two three four - [returns to normal volume] we’re taking this to Poppy’s!
BARNABY: Then Home, then Howdy, yeah yeah - might as well ask the daisies, too.
JULIE: Oooh, and the butterflies! 
SALLY: While we’re at it, we should phone everyone in the book, just to get the widest audience input.
FRANK: [unamused] You all think you’re so funny. 
EDDIE: Well, you gotta admit it’s… it’s… 
[brief, tense pause. Eddie clears his throat]
EDDIE: It’s perfectly sensible!
[Frank makes an affronted noise]
FRANK: Poppy will see sense.
-
POPPY: I’d be delighted to have a cah-mehl, but I’m afraid it-
FRANK: [aghast, truly astonished] You’re joking. You have to be joking. CAH-MEHL? Does no one in this town have sense?! Besides Eddie, of course. And Julie - on a technicality.
EDDIE: [oddly pleased] Why thank you. 
POPPY: My goodness, did- did I say it wrong?
BARNABY: [gleeful] Not in the least, Pops!
SALLY: As far as I’m concerned, you added an extra layer of… pizazz to the word. In fact, I may adjust my own pronunciation accordingly!  
POPPY: [flustered] Oh, well, I didn’t - don’t change on my account -
SALLY: Take the compliment, Poppy. 
POPPY: [meekly] Thank you.
[Sally wanders from the group, practicing the slightly adjusted pronunciation]
WALLY: I’m not sure I understand. What’s wrong with carmul or… care… mul… carmel…
POPPY: Don’t strain yourself dear, you’ll get a migraine.
FRANK: What’s wrong is that it’s ENTIRELY incorrect! It! Is! Pronounced! Caramel!
JULIE: Aww, Frank, I’m sure Home and Howdy will agree with us! Team Caramel, WOOO!
BARNABY: [barely restrained disbelief] Boy, won’t they! 
POPPY: I’m not sure what the fuss is about… there isn’t much of a difference, is there?
[Frank makes a high pitched, frustrated noise and stomps off. He can be heard calling Home’s name in the background]
JULIE: Oop, there he goes!
POPPY:  Oh - oh dear. I didn’t mean to rile him up.
BARNABY: Don’t twist your beak about it - Frank’s just bein’ Frank. Now if you’ll excuse us, I wanna see how it goes with Home.
WALLY: [quietly, thoughtful] But Home doesn’t talk like us…
POPPY: If you’re sure… Do let me know how it goes. 
SALLY: [swaying back to the group] I’ll phone you post-haste! Or even better, I can come by for one of your delicious muffins and regale you with the whole escapade, in detail.
POPPY: [audibly pleased] That sounds - well that sounds like a wonderful idea! I have some fresh from this morning-
BARNABY: Sounds great! See you around, Poppy.
-
FRANK: Home, I have an important question to ask you. Is the correct pronunciation for this candy ‘carmul’, or ‘caramel’? One creak for caramel, two for the incorrect carmul.
BARNABY: Talk about a bias…
[Home stays silent. Sally yawns.]
FRANK: One creak for caramel, two-
[Home slowly shuts their curtains]
FRANK: Hmph! The nerve… well, I suppose a house that can’t speak shouldn’t have a say, anyway.
WALLY: Home can speak. He just does it differently.
BARNABY: And I’m pretty sure they just agreed with me, Walls, an’ Sally.
JULIE: They did not!
BARNABY: Looked like it to me!
SALLY: I have to agree with Julie. Home just declared itself a neutral party, and so the vote can’t be counted either way. On to Howardson!
JULIE: Yes! Howdy! Our last hope!
FRANK: He may have terrible taste in company, but he’s a sensible businessman. Poppy and Home have let me-
JULIE: Us!
FRANK: -us down, but surely Howdy will back us up. 
BARNABY: [faux-serious tone, knows something they don’t] Absolutely. Without a doubt.
-
[store bell chimes]
HOWDY: Howdy-do - [brief pause, a tinge of surprise] everyone! My my, what brings the entire neighborhood to my bountiful bodega? Finally decided to clean me out for good?
BARNABY: [snorts] With how fast you restock? I think I’d break my funnybone!
FRANK: We have important business.
HOWDY: [mildly curious] Do we? That’s news to me! But I’m letting you know now that I don’t deal in bugs, Frankly. It’d be hypocritical. 
FRANK: Believe me, I wish I were here to talk insects. Unfortunately, I need to settle a score. Mr. Dear, if you would?
EDDIE: If I would what?
SALLY: [stage-whisper] Barnabello gave you the, ah, parcel earlier?
EDDIE: The…? Oh! Oh, right - I have it right here, just… give me a second… which pocket…? There we go.
[sound of a small, hard candy placed on the countertop] 
HOWDY: A carmul all for me? You shouldn’t have! No, really, you shouldn’t have. I’m on the clock.
BARNABY: [loud bark of laughter] I knew I could count on you, pal! So what’s the tally, Frankie?
[Frank mutters something inaudible]
BARNABY: What was that? I couldn’t hear you over the sound of me bein’ right!
FRANK: [explosive] You’re all wrong! The correct pronunciation is caramel, CARAMEL! You’re all - you’re all just - heathens! Heathens, I say! I’m taking my company elsewhere! 
EDDIE: Mr. Frankly…
JULIE: [overlapping, following] Aw, c’mon Frank! 
[the door jingles. Julie and Frank’s hushed arguing in the doorway underlies the dialogue]
HOWDY: It sounds like I missed quite the context! Mind filling me in?
BARNABY: That was pretty much it; a real potato potahto argument.
HOWDY: If you say so, Barn. Speaking of potahtos-
[the background argument abruptly cuts off, the door jingles again as it's closed]
FRANK: [rapidly rejoining the group] Hold it! You don’t really say potahto, do you?
BARNABY: [under breath] Here we go again…
SALLY: [deeply amused] Where on Earth did you pick up such a butchered pronunciation? I must have missed the sign on my tour down from the heavens.
EDDIE: [baffled, underlying the dialogue] I’ve never heard anyone say it that way.
JULIE: Oh! Is it a joke? Like, Barnaby says potato-potahto, and then you jokingly say potahto to make us laugh? 
HOWDY: It’s not a joke. That’s how it’s said.
FRANK: [genuinely disturbed] No - no one says that. It’s potato.
HOWDY: Well I say potahto, thank you very much! And if you ever want one from my store again, you’d do well to accept that.
[Various grumbles of reluctant acceptance]
HOWDY: Good. Now, can I get any of you a refreshing drink after such a squall? You must be parched! 
WALLY: I wouldn’t mind a glass of mulk.
[Horrified silence. A pin drop would be deafening]
[Sudden uproarious and overlapping argument]
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skitskatdacat63 · 7 months
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Favorite Martian pics atm
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gooboogy · 7 months
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The problem is they both make sense.
John lacks any agency, and as his abilities start "failing" he loses more of what little he has. The only things he can do is perceive the world through Arthur's eyes and talk to him in his head. That's it. He has no material effect on the world around them. He is solely 100% reliant on Arthur for his continued existence and influence on the world. He can't ignore Arthur whatsoever (unlike Arthur who can ignore John easy peasy) he can't Do anything but talk and observe (and also experience the deaths of people Arthur touches but ultimately that does nothing). Of course he is going to be distrustful of other people and possessive over Arthur.
Arthur feels like suddenly he can't rely on this very reliable thing that has been keeping him alive this whole time. It would shake anyone up. Especially with the shit they have to deal with? If he can't rely on directions he will be sliced to ribbons or shot without a chance of fighting back. They may as well be dead already. And for all of John's lack of agency, it's Arthur who has to actually deal with the consequences. He's the one who's getting wounded and torn to bits and has to fight all that. Plus it's HIS body. If someone's existence relies on your body, you have the right to refuse, bodily autonomy is a human right.
The problem is they've gone through this cycle before (cycle of learning and forgetting and learning that they are One Unit and need to work Together vs The Problems and forgetting) but never has it shaken Arthur so much. Even when they've argued before he would still listen to John's directions. But now? Everything is in question (as is probably the intent behind John's "failing" abilities.) They DO need other people to help and they DO need to be careful and include John. They cannot truly trust someone else while keeping John a secret or without his input. Arthur has the most control over the situation and the onus is on him to make the compromises. Yeah it's his body but 1) countless times he promised to John that they were in this together and 2) at this point separating them would be so traumatic that they may as well be One.
All of this is to say, curious that Arthur is so willing to tell Oscar about literally everything EXCEPT John. What happens if he does? What if there's someone else to assert for John in a way Arthur can't ignore so easily? Would that legitimize the shared ownership of Arthur's body? What does it mean for John to gain agency by the loss of Arthur's autonomy?
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naturecalls111 · 8 months
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Wish I never had to sleep I wish I could just stay awake all the time and do nothing but draw and had no responsibilities
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u5an5 · 1 month
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Theory: The Clone X was not Cody like some people think or even Fives (I know he's been dead for a very long time but so was Boba Fett and look where we are. Plus, Echo was supposed to be certainly dead too; making him Winter Soldier-esque storyline wouldn't be that surprising) or not even Slick.
((Also, now that we've seen his face devoid of any tattoos or scars I think first two takes are definitely not applicable anymore; they wouldn't put that much effort to make him unrecognizable))
Back to the point: In my opinion, The Clone X was none other than...
Fox.
Now let me explain.
Who else, other than X, was loyal to the law and justice dictated by it over any moral or ethic code?
Fox.
Who else was portrayed with such single-minded focus on hunting down traitors of the government he served, regardless of what it was?
Fox.
Who else could know not only Coruscant so well but also identify Rex like they knew each other?
He already was a remarkably successful tracker of traitors, why not make him more efficient by pointing them out for him?
Good soldiers follow orders, after all.
#clone assassin#commander fox#star wars tbb#i know that hes got killed really early after Order in comics but i would honestly prefer him to die this way#the bad batch spoilers#commander cody#arc trooper fives#tcw slick#cc 1010#star wars#sw tbb#sw the bad batch#the bad batch season 3#tbb theory#we dont even know for sure how he looks like cause in one moment we see corries without helmets all of them have standard paintjob#idk if its just animation error but because of it we cant be 100% sure fox ever regreted it without him being shown grieving with rest#hes just taking a breath when fives is dying and personaly i see it more as him rolling his eyes that rex is being mushy with traitor#but there are 3 clones behind fox when hes shown and then the one taking off his helmet stands beside 2 others so it may actualy be it???#and if he DOES regret it imo is more in 'shame i had to do it' rather than 'shame i did it' way if you know what i mean#hes just doing his job and hes GOOD at it. not his fault that him being competent is bad for the good guys#my point is: outside of one page incomic that can be at any point made noncanon or recontextualized theres no evidence that it cant be him#they already retconed more important things. why not this?#i think its likely that in case im right we can assume that all named corries were made into CloneX#none of them appeared yet despite how much of action happens on coruscant#and only thorn died on screen; in a way preventing him from being viable option nonetheless#three hits point blank months before Order seem unlikely but theyve done weirder things so him returning wouldnt be THAT weird so uhh idk#but yeah cx-02 is tech#winter soldiering doesnt stop#i mean THIS could be fox/other corrie but it being tech is way too cliche oportunity to waste it on them (derogatory towards disney)#pls disney let corries hunt down traitors like they used to pls
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mabaki · 3 months
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When I posted human Mbk and I got the tags from @legavo and then I also remembered the convo we had about Ian reacting to Mbk's rings 😂😂😂
Ian @legavo
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studioboner · 14 days
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talking about death to someone else whos also experienced loss or multiple loses is always so much different than talking to ppl who havent lost anyone yet
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quuerbee · 5 months
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Just saw a picture of divine dragon chung myung before he got that title and it really hit me how small Cho Sam's body was when chung myung came back. This little thought has spoilers for chapter 400+ (I think anyway) and vague spoilers for everything past ch 400 until like. Ch 800
GOD OK so we as the reader understand chung myungs situation very very intimately. WE understand that he is an 80+ year old man mentally. WE understand that he is not in fact 15, then 17, then 19, 20, etc. Everyone around him, however, truly believe that he is those ages.
It's brushed upon multiple times throughout the novel, especially whenever chung myung is down for the count/recovering after a fight. The facade he makes around himself, the strong reliable leader, fades away and the "truth" of who he is reinstates itself to those close to him in this second life. His back, every time he wavers, is described as small. This is always through the perspective of anyone but himself. This is even more apparent whenever he is unconscious after a serious fight. I don't know exactly chapters, but i KNOW that baek cheon (and the rest of the 5 swords plus soso and hye yeon), at least once, has had the reality of Chung myungs apparent age dawn upon them. That they're youngest sajae (sahyung in soso's case) is constantly spilling his own blood to protect them. (This fact is straight up said by yu iseol after the particularly bad fight with Jang ilso, spitting her frustration with only getting in chung myungs way instead of protecting him).
This phenomenon is hardly limited to the main group of disciples. After the first myriad men siege on Mount hua (while The Gang is in Xian), everyone subconsciously gains courage with the thought that soon enough chung myung will come, that he'll protect them. The disciples (soso being the most prevalent since she's one of the main disciples focused on in the novel) of course correct this thought, realizing that they cannot rely on chung myung forever. Anyways moving on from just describing this arc. What I mainly want to focus on is Hyun jong and chung myungs interaction AFTER the siege is finished, after un gum is fresh off of his amputation, after chung myung has barely gotten treatment for his own (quite serious) injuries.
What do you think when through Hyun jong's mind, seeing his youngest disciple, the one who brought back the hope that had almost died out with his sect, ruthlessly kill the enemy, return heavily wounded, and then try to sneak out almost immediately to go back to smite those who have harmed his home? To us, Chung myung is more than capable. He's the plum blossom sword Saint, the one who (even with all the regret he holds over this) severed the head of the heavenly demon. He's an 80+ year old man trying to protect the only thing besides bloodshed that is familiar in this second life. We understand the guilt he has over not being able to protect his home the first time. We understand that he would rather die than allow Mount Hua to fall again.
Hyun jong does not know this. He does not understand chung myungs rage (and guilt and grief and longing and-). He looks at chung myung and sees an 18 or 19 (I don't remember) year old boy, covered in wounds, trying to sneak out of his home on a suicide mission of revenge. He sees a boy. He knows that if he let's this boy go, he will never see him alive again. So he uses chung myungs borderline (who are we kidding, it is way past borderline) unhealthy loyalty with mount hua to dissuade him from walking to his death.
ANYWAYS long story not so short, I need need need more analysis over what everyone but chung myung thinks about him. Everyone sees this young teen, then young adult, bend over backwards to the point where he has almost died so so so many times just so mount hua can flourish. They've seen him kill ruthlessly, they've seen him sob over the skeleton of an ancestor (one of his brothers, a reminder of what he has lost, what he will never get back), they've seen him silly and carefree, they've seen him almost mad with bloodlust.
To us, he is chung myung, the old plum blossom sword Saint, slayer of the heavenly demon. To them, he is chung myung, the scrawny 15 year old that changed their lives, that faces unknown traumas, that has had a life so, so unkind to him.
Sometimes I look at chung myung pre time skip, how small he is, how he looks like a child, how he acts nothing like one, and remember that only we, the readers, get the full context behind his actions.
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ao3screenshotss · 9 months
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sometimes i worry about my internet footprint and the fact that it might stop me from getting a job in the future or something (i literally run a blog posting screenshots from fanfics i read) but then i think ‘well damn, if they can find all this information about me then i don’t deserve the job cause i know i wouldn’t put in that much effort to find information on someone’ and i feel better
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autistic-beshelar · 1 month
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ah yes dungeon meshi, the manga where an autistic man gets repeatedly bullied by people he thinks are his friends and not a single person supports him
#dont get me wrong i am enjoying this manga#but i'm failing to see how this is some great amazing autistic rep#like yeah laios is obviously autistic#and the struggles he has due to his autism are VERY relatable#but it's deeply uncomfortable that even the people closest to him are routinely awful to him#specifically for his autistic traits#and their bullying is almost always a joke#not a single person defends him#literally senshi is the only character that's never been cruel to him#well and farlyn but lbr she's also autistic and also has been in like half a chapter that ive read so far#maybe ive just not read far enough or not seen enough posts#but im not understanding why the fandom are treating it like amazing autistic rep and how it understands us so well#you could argue that the narrative tends to support laios's methods and way of thinking#but nothing else does#the scene with shuro was fucking awful to read tbh#'you're so annoying because you're autistic. how dare you think im your friend when you should have just guessed that i hated you'#and not a single person defends laios#or calls shuro out on what a fucking horrific way of treating a party member that is#like i dont know MAYBE you could have just said 'hey i don't really want to be friends'#maybe you could COMMUNICATE.#but no it's the autistic man who's the problem. for the crime of.... being too nice.#i don't have a problem with the scene.#i have a problem with the fact that shuro is framed as reasonable here. instead of utterly fucking vile.#i have a problem with none of the other characters sticking up for laios.#dungeon meshi#maybe ppl will start treating him better#i would like to continue reading#but if he continues getting bullied in EVERY fucking chapter as a 'joke' then idk man
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moeblob · 22 days
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Windy at my house + power flickering = no comm work = quick laptop doodle
#my characters#i genuinely hoped the wind would die down but like ??? nah?#and the last time we lost power without an actual storm it WAS bc of wind#and so i just get so panicked over please dont fry my tablet with a power surge#if it calms down by tonight i really wanna work on art since i spent almost all day yesterday struggling with a pose and i finally#think i thought of something that could work and then (gestures to the wind) fuck me#also in regards to these two you have seen me drawing deacon a lot recently and i only drew armya once so far#she is a devoted follower to fulj which is really rare since fulj no longer has a large following nor a temple#so when fulj finds her its comforting and reassuring and she adores armya a lot#however the fact that fulj relentlessly teases deacon and calls him names is like..... ok wait would you really be mean to me if it wasnt#for her ? like would you still pick on me? :c and shes like lol yeah dude absolutely#deacon is just constantly dunked on by the lightning group and hes so sad because he wanted to be friends :c#but also the guy wouldnt really recognize the followers if it wasnt for the traces of lady fulj#so if they would wander into the city without having been possessed recently he probably wouldnt even cast a glance their way#nothing personal he just straight up doesnt decipher looks fast at all#he could think they look familiar but then not know why ESPECIALLY if they wear something he's not used to them in#like if armya showed up in something other than her loose white jacket he would not be able to go AH YES ARMYA immediately#he identifies people by hair or clothing details so it kinda messes him up if people remove whatever identifying trait they have#long hair getting a hair cut? suddenly a whole new person#and armya knows this very well since he never looked her way unless fulj was possessing her or trailing her#so she does like to tease him as just. we are both in servitude to a deity and same rank but like. bro youre too easy to mock#(fulj agrees)
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justanotherperson1 · 7 months
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Imagine the kids scrambling to handle this mess. Jack handles Prime, Raf goes for Ratchet and Miko deals with Bay. Someone needs to remind the bots that not everyone is against them.
Miko thinks the only way to get Bay's mind out of this unhealthy slump is to remind about the good side. Throughout all his adventures, he had key help from humans who still believed in him despite everything. Bay died to protect Sam who later almost dies bringing the Matrix of Leadership to bring him back.
Cade still repaired the Autobot Leader despite knowing his identity and kept faith in him. It's okay to not fully trust others but he can't group an entire race in the same category when there were humans who helped the Autobots until the end. Plus Cybertronians are in the safe boat. Both species have their good/bad sides.
Raf and Jack remind everyone that if Fowler really wasn't on their side than everyone would already be in hiding already. He may be rough at times but the agent is like Lennox. Still loyal to his companions.
A liaison doing the best he can to keep the peace despite the Autobots absolutely sucking at staying incognito. You want to prepare or be cautious? Okay but don't throw someone whose clearly still has faith and trust into the possible enemy bin.
There's also issues with the Matrix of Leadership. Both Optimus have gone through a personality change and Ratchet doesn't trust the relic one bit. Orion Pax incident already showed what Prime was like before becoming the person he is today.
It will mark any potential threat to Cybertron as a danger despite the circumstances. A onesided piece of scrap metal that cannot be trusted. Everyone has to work together or sink by the inner turmoil than just Decepticons.
I feel like Bay! Optimus would find the most wisdom from Arcee in this moment. Though Miko’s words would be kind, Arcee’s experience would be a inadvertant comfort.
After the reveal of what the humans did to his Ratchet he would retreat to the roof where Arcee would find him.
She wouldn’t scold him or try to lure him back with the others but istead, under the low light of a setting sun, they would sit and look over the world just beyond Cliffjuper’s memoral in a certain solidaridy.
They are the most alike and therefore, Arcee would be the most likley to understand him. Unlike Prime! Optimus who is the ‘figurehead’ and the ‘ideal’, I feel she would be more likley and more willing to hear Bay!. Does that exuse his actions? His brashness? What could Arcee say? She’s been where he was and is still activly trying to tame the rage she sure as the pit feels.
That’s not to say none of the others in the team don’t experience loss, but Arcee and Bay! Prime seem to deal with loss and the feeling of failure the same way.
She wouldn’t try to defend humaninty as a whole, but tell stories of Jack and how he helped her after the death of Cliffjumper, and maybe…. Just maybe, Bay! Would recall the young boy he once knew that the first human he ever talked to. Who was there when few others would stand with him.
But your last line couple of lines raises an iteresting thought.
Bay!’s matrix has been stained long before him and found a kindered spirit in a Crucader become Prime. In the very first movie he said that Cybertron was an Empire, and later we learn that he and other knights like him traveled the stars in a PRISON ship Lockdown later comindeared from him. Do you guys remember what it looked like? What was in it?
“Bone grinders, brain blinders, flesh peelers, chromazonal inverters, catatonic slug, black hole trap doors and, of course, radiation.” - Crosshairs, Age of Extinction.
What the hell is he doing with a ship like that?!
Even then, everything the Bay! Allspark touches turns into a rage-filled, blood thirsty vile creature who’s only initiative is to destroy everything around it. We see this again and again in the years we Optimus is on Earth. The more and more electronics accidently get turned into Cybertronian creatures- so then what rules does the Matrix follow when heralding and protecting such a naturally violent race? What morals would it really have.
What was he doing? Before and after the matrix?
And what was the Matrix truly instilling in him?
Do you think, in Prime! Optimus seeing himself he saw something not like him? a being who was already a conqueror before the fall of their race? Something who, in theory shared his ideas, but in action truly was brutish? A Cybertronian more like Unicron than that of Primus?
Did Bay! Optimus really change after the Matrix?
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lobotomyladylives · 4 days
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I think bpd is a bullshit stigmatizing label thrown at women to pathologize what is very obviously a response to prolonged childhood trauma and would be better labeled as C-PTSD. that being said my god I am bpd as fuck
#my sister just snapped at me bc i said i dont want to do a ton of physical labor for the job she signed me up for which apparently does i#in fact involve a lot of it. and her being mad for even that moment sent me spiraling so badly & i had the reaction i often do where#i start hating both her & myself terribly & want to isolate forever#i think she hates her new job & is taking it out on me but it doesnt matter bc i cant handle being yelled at#and the fact thst it took me till adulthood to realize thats bc i associate it with my father is crazy. yeah its just the cptsd like#everything else. and whats nutso is how i continue to think my trauma Wasnt Bad Enough for ptsd .#just bc he didnt beat the shit out of or molest me i feel like i dont even have a right to be this fucked up#not that it was only him. being bullied at school really did not help. i guess now that i think about it the problem is that until#i was a teenager i literally did not feel emotionally secure anywhere. home or school. always the ticking of a bomb in the bg#the inevitable moment my dad blew up over nothing or i overheard my peers talking about what a freak i was#i dont know why it still hurts to think about. im so far removed from it my life now couldnt be more different#well thats the stupid fucking thing about childhood isnt it. those are your very first experiences with the world & other ppl#i do know my view of romantic relationships was irrevocably poisoned by my parents & that is never going to be undone. so cool
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deus-and-the-machina · 9 months
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I think an underlooked part of what shaped jin’s mindset was how even back in Torna, he was considered “property”. He and Lora spent their whole lives avoiding the authorities of Torna because they believed would straight up execute Lora to get Jin back, and no one ever denies it. and this has seemingly been a fear since Lora was a child. Jin had to hide his face everywhere he went. Maybe Torna wouldn’t have been cruel enough to execute a child, especially since the king seemed decent(?) enough, if not a bit distant. But the fact it was even a fear at all for Lora since she was so young is just awful to think about. 
According to his past self’s journals, Jin and his old driver fought in a war of independence for Torna, perhaps what made him a hero to begin with. and because he’s a war hero for deeds he doesn’t even remember, the kingdom considers him owned by them. Which is on the nose in two different ways ngl. Both in how the Blades are seen and a wider metaphor of soldiers/state. idk it’s just very sad to think about
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