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captainillogical · 4 years

Text

Home Ch.1

The domesticity of living with an alien who hasn't quite had the chance at a normal life.

Distant Lands sequel.

Spinel/Reader

collab with my lovely wife @firstofficertightpants

thanks for still reading my shit, love you all

You slam the fridge door, taking a swig out of the bottle of water in your hands that you had just grabbed from the top shelf. It’s hot as hell out this afternoon, and you’ve just finished grabbing the last of your stray belongings to move across town.

“-and you need to make sure to keep your phone on, I’ll be sending you calendar updates to your current schedule. Things have been moved around twice for next week, so expect your lesson times to change again.”

“I appreciate all this Pearl, but you’re acting like I’m moving farther than 5 miles and a single warp away.” You say to the gem lecturing you off a list she’s made on her phone.

“I just like to be sure.” Pearl narrows her eyes at you slightly. “I know you’re capable of handling things on your own, I just worry.”

“You fret like you’re my mom.” You retort with an eye roll, taking another sip of water. Garnet grins at that, leaning against the counter. It’s just the three of you here in the kitchen.

“Well, I have known you for quite a few of your formative years.” She huffs, cheeks tinting blue. “I remember when you first responded to that ad Greg put up, you walked in and-”

“Pearl, oh my god, please no.” You cut her off, capping your bottle, it crinkling slightly in your hands.

“I think she’s getting empty nest syndrome.” Garnet says with a small chuckle.

“Y/N, you are sure about this, right?” Pearl ignores Garnet’s comment. “I know that living on your own can be fairly difficult as is..”

“We talked about this extensively yesterday, Pearl.” You sigh, giving her a specific look. “I’ll be fine. I’ve been through hell already enough as is, this will be a walk in the park for me. Besides, I’ve got Spinel.”

“That’s kind of what I’m worried about.” She replies, levelling her gaze with yours.

You try not to sigh out loud at her again.

Okay, so. Really, it's been less than a week since you've solidly been back on Earth. You can't reasonably expect Pearl of all people to be one for quick adjustment. But you did spend a long time with her the day prior going over all her questions about the surface of Golgotha for an updated gem archive entry she's working on. You were kind of hoping it would calm most of her worries about this in general, but you feel like based on some of your responses it might've made her worry even more. Not to mention paired with that incident in the kitchen the other day with Amethyst..

Even if it was a little painful for you for multiple reasons; like having to re-live terrifying moments in detail - it wasn't as painful as the BARRAGE of questions she pummelled you with about the nature of your relationship with Spinel once she got you alone. Fucking mortifying, that was, when Pearl had the audacity to ask if you two had been like this prior to coming back to Earth. You tried keeping much of it to yourself as possible as you aren't super well-adjusted to everything yourself. Like jesus fucking christ, Amethyst and Garnet accepted your text message without much question, other than a thumbs up from her and a solid wall of emojis and expletives from the shorter gem. And maybe a couple roasts about it that you're not going to mention. But they had managed to accept it without embarrassing you much, why couldn't Pearl be less.. Pearl about it?

“What do you think is honestly going to happen?” You retort flatly.

“Well, I don’t have-” Pearl stops to spare a glance at Garnet, who barely even reacts.

“Future-vision is cheating.” She says, lips still forming a wry smile. “She will be fine as long as she remembers to make sure the oven is off.”

“You’re gonna make me paranoid..” You groan. “And see Pearl? I’ll be fine.”

“If you say so." She says like she's waiting to be proven right somehow. You know her enough to not be offended by it. "You didn't forget about your stuff in the bathroom, did you?"

"Nah, but it's not like I won't be back, y'know, in-case you maybe find my missing rubber ducky." You say, feeling your stomach rumble. "And while I do love you both, really, I've got to go get some food in me and finish the lesson plan for next week.."

"Fiiine, go! Clearly we're just here to nag you." Pearl says with a bit of a huff, slight pout on her face, but you can tell she's mainly doing it for the dramatics.

"Don't be like that." You hold back rolling your eyes at her, even if you really want to. You grab the bag with the rest of your things off the counter, shouldering it.

"Did you give me sitting in and watching your first class any more thought?" Garnet asks, resting her hands on her hips. You can't see her eyes, but you know if you could she'd be studying your face for an answer. "It might help with the nervousness you're feeling."

"Yeaaaaaaahhhh," You let out a breath a bit nervously, having given that exactly zero extra thought. "I'm still pretty sure that you'd just give me performance anxiety. Give me a few more days to think about it."

You say your goodbyes for now, toeing your shoes on and heading out the door down to the beach below.

Ugh. It's hot, and so is the sand.

You should think about finally replacing your old car. You know, the one that died last year that Peridot said was worth more in scrap metal? You miss that old junker. You'd have to save up a considerable amount of money you don't have, but, ugh, you'll think about this later.

The breeze makes your hair fly into your face, and you're annoyed the entire walk over to town. Your stomach growls again, and you decide on pizza for your afternoon lunch.

It's kind of a no-brainer when your feet lead you to Fish Stew Pizza, and your hand is already on the door handle and opening it when you subconsciously realize a small hangup, possibly, just as the door opens.

Kiki's inside and manning the counter, and she's the only one in the establishment at all currently. You let out a breath of relief.

"Weeeeeeelcome." She greets you without even looking up from her phone.

"Afternoon'." You say in greeting, feeling awkward preemptively. Kiki looks up immediately when she hears your voice, and her facial expression is completely surprised at yours at first before she quickly schools it to more of a casual, neutral one.

Ah. Lars came through.

You see.. after that first day back you utterly loathed the idea of explaining why you're now pink to literally everyone else, and Lars offered to send out a couple quick informative texts. What a fucking bro. You should probably help him out sometime just for the effort alone.

"Y/N, it's good to see you." Kiki says, trying not to be too obvious that she's giving you a glance-over.

"Thanks, you too." You hear coming out of your mouth, the air conditioning of this place cooling you off rapidly. God you even SOUND awkward. "It's pretty empty in here for the time of day, that's kind of odd."

"Yeahhh, but I'm not gonna complain about it. I'm covering Jenny's shift right now and I'll take the slowness if it means I can just be on my phone.." She's staring at the scar on your face, and you feel.. weirdly self conscious about it.

"Typical Jenny. You gotta stop going easy on her." You reply, leaning against the counter.

“Oh, I wasn’t going easy. She’s doing my chores this week because of this, so actually she’s the one getting the short stick out of this. I had nothing planned with my time off.” She sets her phone down, and oh my god, she will not stop staring.

“Will you just say what you’re thinking and get this over with?” You spit out, impatient. She reels back for literally only a split second before leaning forward eagerly and getting right into your space.

“Lars wasn’t fucking lying, huh. That place messed you UP.” She reaches over the counter to touch your hair, and if it were nearly anyone other than Kiki you’d punch them in the face. But she helped you deal with her sister back then, so. “I saw you maybe a week and a half ago, and now look at you! Pink like Lars and with a giant scar on your face to boot! What didn’t happen to you there?!”

“I er, didn’t get the face scar there, and it wasn’t the only one I gained.” You say with a grimace. Your stomach growls again. “How much exactly did he tell you?”

“What!? I mean he told me about you being kidnapped by a deranged gem and that you died, but that was about it!” She replies, expression bewildered.

You sigh. God. Okay. That’s not the worst thing he could’ve told people. But he’s not making this any easier for you anyway.

“Listen, can I order a small plain cheese pizza? And then I’ll enlighten you.”

“Yeah, you got it.” She grins, getting this spark in her eye while ringing you up and even giving you a hefty discount. It’s why she’s your favorite sister of the two.

You move to sit by the window table, setting your bag down on one of the other chairs and pulling out your lesson notes.

You don’t really feel super up to this right now, but you should probably go over a few things by yourself that Pearl gave you some pointers on. You’re nervous, like really nervous about teaching this class, if you’re honest with yourself. But you also think it will be fun, and interesting, even. You’re only giving two hour-long lessons a week for right now, as the others wanted to see how well you’d fair. Your first lesson is in just a few days. Also, the class currently has 43 gems signed up for it, and that’s quite a bit of a hefty crowd.

You were expecting an interest of maybe.. 4 gems total. This is a little unnerving. You only have the one flier posted up with the other new classes on that board, so you’re guessing word of mouth was how it spread.

You feel your phone buzz a couple times in your pocket, and you pull it out to see who it is. When you see who the messages are from, you can’t help but feel a smile break out on your face that you have a hard time suppressing. Oh, and whoops, you forgot to reply to her earlier messages while you were being lectured by Pearl.

[14:13] Spinel: uuuuugh i just want today to be OVER please

[14:13] Spinel: i think bismuth enjoys sending me to help peridot like some kind of sadist

[14:13] Spinel: its like she knows i dont want to hear about camp pining hearts for the third day in a row? i get peridot needs assistance but i haven’t even seen this show and now i have no need to ever physically watch it

[15:42] Spinel: you can’t ignore me in person Y/N

[15:42] Spinel: i haven’t seen you in two days and this is how you treat me?

[15:42] Spinel: like an afterthought?

[15:42] Spinel: hurtful

You roll your eyes to yourself, still grinning. You can feel affection coming through the words even if that isn’t what they’re saying. You’re also ecstatic at the concept of the others getting on with Spinel quickly enough to annoy her on purpose now. You miss her face, and feel a little silly about it, considering it hasn’t even been that long. It sucks, but at least she texts you fairly often. And as of today, well, you get to live with her.

[15:43] Y/N: Rest assured, I can ignore you in person.

[15:43] Y/N: Dramatic ass.

[15:43] Y/N: I’m going to be seeing you in like, an hour anyway. Chill.

“Why are you smiling like that?” You hear, jolting upright in your seat as Kiki sets down your personal pizza in front of you with a glass of water. It smells heavenly. “You never smile like that.”

“Uh,” You reply, caught off-guard, and set your phone down. “Was just replying to something funny Steven said.”

“Sure.” She says in a tone that screams ‘I don’t believe you whatsoever but okay’.

You reach out for a slice of pizza and take a bite, cheese almost dripping all over the lesson plans in front of you. Kiki moves the papers aside for safekeeping, and you mutter out a quick thanks.

“So,” She starts, resting her chin on her hand. “You gonna enlighten me, or what?”

You finish chewing your slice of pizza, and grab another. And then you indulge her questions. All of them.

She has a lot.

You leave out all the details of what happened between you and Spinel, you’re really not ready to have those kinds of conversations yet. Dealing with Steven giving you shit for it has been more than enough to want it from anyone else, and you haven’t even told Lars about it - even though you told him you would whenever you finally confessed to her.

Also.. uh. You won’t lie. Between the both of you being pretty fucking busy almost right off the bat, you haven’t exactly, er. Had the girlfriend conversation with Spinel yet. Other than that one night, people are always around you two. You know you gotta just talk to her about it to clarify, but shit, you’re stupidly anxious about it. Part of your brain is literally screaming at you about being stupid about it, because sure, you had the most nerve-wracking love confession of your life and you two boned and also she definitely said she felt the same way, but what if this is just real casual to her?

Oh my god, you over-think fucking everything. Get it together.

You think not seeing her for two days in-person might be driving you nuts, a little.

"Lars didn't really tell me anything about Spinel. He gave me the jist of it, but told me to ask you for everything else whenever you seemed okay with it." She lets out a long breath, and you watch her eyes focus on you. "Imagine what would've happened if you weren't there with him that day. Do you think she would've killed him?"

"I'm not entirely sure. Honestly? She definitely had the strength to, but it doesn't really matter to me now. She wouldn't harm a hair on anyone's head." You reply, trying to not mull over the Spinel you experienced when you first met.

"You seem to have full faith in her." She states, a small smile forming on her face. "You didn't treat any of the other gems that tried killing Steven with any kindness for at least a month. You're less forgiving than Pearl."

"I spent a month with her alone on a planet, Kiki. I had to learn how to work with her, and she saved my life." You retort.

"Yeah, only cause you put yourself in danger for her." She narrows her eyes at you. “And you’re moving in with her today?” Kiki asks, expression a bit suspicious, smile still on her face. This makes you uneasy.

“Yeah?” You reply, confused. “It’s not that weird, is it? I moved in with Steven fairly quickly.”

“Yeah, except that was a different type of situation, you were a guardian for him. And this is you we’re talking about here.” She levels you with a look. “I feel like I’m missing something you’re not telling me. Like a key part to all of this.”

“L-like what?” You shove another slice of pizza into your mouth to shut yourself up. Not fucking today, dammit. Not today.

“I dunno, there’s just something..” She trails off, her eyebrows drawn together on her forehead as if she’s got a thought within her grasp. She looks at your hand, grasping your phone, squinting her eyes. She then shakes her head. “Whatever, you’ll tell me eventually. It’s not as if you’re sleeping with her.”

You choke on the slice of pizza you’re currently chewing, and violently so.

Kiki’s eyes go wide, and you put a hand up as if you can stop whatever thoughts are racing through her head. Her jaw drops.

“Wait,” You manage to choke out, gasping for air and finding it very difficult. You can't tell if you can feel your face going red from the lack of air, or from this conversation.

“Y/N.” Is all she says, voice dripping incredulously. “Y/N!”

“Kiki, you have the wrong idea-”

“I cannot believe you.” She says, mouth still open. She’s got half a grin on her face like she’s just unearthed the most juicy gossip, and you are SO not here for this. "Wait until Jenny hears about this."

"Kiki!" You wail, and sputter out another cough. "Kiki you can't tell anyone!"

"Why not!?" She cackles. "And besides, I don't even know if she'd believe me anyway. Y/N of all people?!"

"Tell her, and I'll tell Sadie you had a crush on her for a year." You spit out in a panic.

"You wouldn't!" Kiki narrows her eyes at you, face of mock betrayal.

"I would. Watch me." You state, grabbing your phone off the table pointedly.

"Okay okay! Sheesh." She puts her hands up in surrender. "So you gonna tell me the dirty deets or what?"

"No, I don't kiss and tell." You scowl at her, but she doesn't seem put off by it at all.

"Knowing you, that doesn't surprise me." She grabs your glass of water, taking a sip of it. You're not even annoyed. "Guess you and Greg have something in common."

She laughs at her own joke, and you can't help putting your face in your hands and groaning loudly and dramatically. It only makes her laugh harder.

"Shut uuuup." You sigh, grabbing the glass of water from her and taking your own sip.

The two of you talk for awhile as she grills you about Spinel, and you share what you're comfortable with. Eventually, she gets a family of customers in that she has to attend to, and you busy yourself with what you had come here originally to do.

Time passes and you lose track a bit, until your phone vibrates on the table and shakes you out of your concentration.

It's a couple texts from Spinel.

[17:04] Spinel: it'll be a while until I'm free

[17:04] Spinel: there were some ISSUES apparently

You stare at your phone. You try not to be irritated at the situation.

It's not like you haven't seen her in a hot minute or anything. You weren't eager at all to be able to see her face or hear her voice. You sigh, and text her back.

[17:05] Y/N: It's fine.

You stare at your phone for a little bit, but she seems busy enough to not have the chance to respond quickly.

Fuck it, it's not like you have anything else to do. You're tired of the papers and notes in front of you. Might as well make your way over to little Homeworld and wait for Spinel to be free from Peridot's tiny demon hands.

You pack up, and make sure to say your goodbyes to Kiki, who yells at you to text her as you leave the shop.

It doesn’t take you that long to get to little homeworld, and thankfully you know where Peridot is usually working as of late.

You pass by the town center, and the glass in some of the taller buildings glare in the evening sun. There's quite a few gems around, working and building, many conversing with each other. There's a couple humans intermingled with them as well. The general atmosphere is pretty lovely here. You like it.

A Rose Quartz bumps into you on the sidewalk and your bag flies off your shoulder, spilling the contents onto the ground.

"Ah! I'm so sorry!" She spins around, arms out to make sure she didn't shove you off of the sidewalk as well. "I'm just so clumsy." She says, pushing her long pink hair over her shoulder and grabbing for your things on the ground before you can even think to scoop them up yourself.

"It's okay, I wasn't exactly paying attention either." You reply, grabbing the papers that flew out of your bag and onto the street. Thankfully, nothing's damaged. She hands you your stuff, and you place it back into your bag. "Thanks."

"It was mostly my fault anyway." She grins lazily, and you watch her eyes wander around the area of your face where you have that scar. "Hmm, I feel like I've seen your face around here before. You hang out with Steven?"

"You could say that." You smile back at her and shoulder your bag. She's got this way about her that makes you think she's analyzing you, but not out of judgement. "Why?"

"No reason! I'll see you around, cutie." She says with a sly grin and a wink, and you're standing there feeling completely taken aback. Your face heats up a little in embarrassment. That was.. okay. Whatever the hell that was.

You keep walking, mind wandering as you try to figure out what the hell that gem's deal was.

You manage to spot Bismuth near a building with more scaffolding than anything else, and she's huddled with Peridot, Lapis, a couple quartz, and Spinel. You won't lie to yourself when your heart does a little summersault in your chest when you spot her magenta twintails.

They're talking loudly and animatedly about something you can't manage to hear from this distance, and you don't bother to get any closer. You duck into the entryway of a nearby building less than a hundred feet in distance from them just to linger for a moment.

One of the Quartz says something, and they all erupt into laughter, and your eyes are trained on no one but Spinel. There’s something about watching her like this that makes your heart swell, and you feel a bit ridiculous over it. You feel your phone buzz in your pocket, and you tear your eyes away to check it.

It's a message from Steven.

[17:37] Steven: can I ask you for a favor? It's not work related.

[17:37] Steven: Connie's parents invited me to dinner

[17:37] Steven: hELP

You stare at your phone, feeling your face break out into a grin. Someone tries to get into the shop you're standing in front of, so you side step to move out of the way momentarily.

[17:38] Y/N: Haha oh buddy.

You look up after sending the message just to make sure you're in no one's way, and you happen to see Spinel just as she's turning her head in your direction, aaaaaand she's spotted you.

Her face brightens up immediately.

She says something to the others, and most of them turn their faces to peer at you. Your face heats up, and one of them cracks some kind of joke that makes half the others howl in laughter as one of the Quartz slaps Spinel's back in jest.

What the fuck are they saying?!

She manages to disengage herself, waving a couple loud goodbyes as the others let her go. It sounds like they make another joke at her expense, they all laugh as she runs to catch up to where you're waiting for her.

She groans as she reaches you, bringing her gloved hand up to her forehead to shield her eyes from the sun.

"What the hell did you say to them?!" Is what comes out of your mouth instead of a greeting. You glare at the others, and you can’t tell if they can see your expressions, but they sure are howling with laughter.

"Well hello to you too," She replies, cheekily scratching the back of her head. “And I didn't say a word! They just.. kinda figured it out?” She says sheepishly, cheeks coloring a bit. “Guess I talk about 'ya a lot, eheheh..”

Oh my god, ugh. You think you're going to have a heart attack, probably. She's looking at you like she’s holding back a lot of affection. Probably for your sake?

One of them catcalls at the two of you, and you hear another whistling. You feel your eye twitching, but the smile doesn't leave your face.

"No, really, what'd you tell them?"

"That you're my girlfriend, you idiot, because they basically knew that already." She retorts with a roll of her eyes. She grabs your hand, and you feel your face heat up even more. "Let's get 'outta here already."

Well. That answers all your insecurities.

You look forward to the next upcoming days.

#spinel x reader #spinel #su #steven universe #spinel steven universe #home #my fic #thanks for the wait

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buckybeardreams · 3 years

Text

Unwanted

Chapters: 5/11

Fandom: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)

Rating: Mature

Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

Relationships: Steve Rogers/Tony Stark

Characters: Tony Stark, Steve Rogers, Sam Wilson (Marvel), Brock Rumlow, James "Bucky" Barnes, Clint Barton, Harley Keener

Additional Tags: Non-Traditional Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Alpha/Omega, Alpha Steve Rogers, Omega Tony Stark, Service Top, Dominant Bottom, Post-Serum Steve Rogers, Virgin Steve Rogers, Brock Rumlow is a Good Bro, Sam Wilson Is a Good Bro, Romantic Soulmates, First Meetings, Angst with a Happy Ending, Sappy, Romantic Fluff, Awkwardness, Drinking to Cope, Self-Worth Issues, Insecure Tony Stark, Insecure Steve Rogers, Age Difference, Harley Keener is Tony Stark's Biological Child, Bonding, Claiming Bites, Claiming, Mating Cycles/In Heat, Mpreg, Non-Explicit Sex, Light Dom/sub, Mutual Masturbation, Coming Untouched, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Wordcount: 10.000-30.000

Series: Part 1 of Second Chances

Summary:

Steve is a soft Alpha and Tony is an in charge kind of Omega with no desire to find a mate. He doesn't want to find his soulmate and when he does meet Steve he's determined to stay away from him.

That is until he realizes just how right they are for each other.

Ch 1 Ch 2 Ch 3 Ch 4 Ch 5 Ch 6 Ch 7 Ch 8 Ch 9 Ch 10 Ch 11

Can also be read here

Words: 2,258

Tony bit his lip, looking at his reflection in the mirror. His hair was sticking up in weird places from trying and failing to sleep last night. There were bags under his eyes that made him look like he hadn't slept in weeks and, well, really that wasn't too far off. Sometimes he drank enough to pass out for a little bit here and there, but he never just got a solid night's sleep. To be fair, Tony didn't sleep all that well even before he found his soulmate and then pretty much rejected him by never calling him.

Tony didn't sleep well when he was alone, but even when he wasn't and he did fall asleep instead of tossing and turning restlessly before giving up and going for a cup of coffee, Tony didn't sleep more then five hours tops unless he was passed out drunk. So maybe that's one of the reasons that he drinks so much.

He wasn't drinking right now, well, not much. He had a couple of beers, but that was nothing. Just a little something to take the edge off before he went to re-meet Brock's new mate. Tony sighed, took one last look at his disheveled appearance and flinched away from it, grabbing his jacket off the back of the couch before heading out.

It was a cold day, windy and blustery with clouds hanging overhead that threatened to soak the inhabitants of the city as they walked down the street in large groups, pushing and shoving, each desperate to get where they're going before the rain ruined their hair or makeup. Tony was far less concerned and when the rain did come down and he was left with wet hair clinging to him and soaked clothes and a gloomy atmosphere that the rain couldn't wash away, well, he thought at least his hair wasn't sticking up all over the place.

He showed up on Brock's doorstep and was relieved when it was Brock who opened the apartment door. Brock was grinning, but it faltered slightly when he saw Tony.

"Hey, you okay?"

Tony nodded.

"Yeah, 'course. Now are you gonna invite me in or make me stay out in the hall for dinner?" Tony said, trying and failing to sound like his usual snarky self.

Brock still looked concerned, but he nodded and stepped aside to let Tony in.

"Yeah, of course, come in."

Tony entered into a small hall, kicking off his shoes before heading further into the apartment. He froze when he saw Steve sitting on the couch next to Sam. Tony's heart raced in his chest and his mind was thrown through a loop, because what the fuck was his soulmate doing here?

"Tony, this is Steve, Sam's friend." Brock watched him anxiously, wondering how he would react.

Steve was staring at Tony, clearly just as caught off guard as Tony was. Steve looked far more put together than Tony did, like he wasn't completely miserable about his mate rejecting him, and didn't that just make Tony feel way worse about looking like a wet rat. Sam's confusion quickly gave way to understanding as he put the pieces together. Anthony, who works at a bar, and is Steve's soulmate. Of course it would be Tony. By the looks of it Brock was already aware of this. Sam sent Brock a stern look and Brock returned it with a sheepish one.

"What?" Brock asked innocently, going to settle in his Alpha's lap.

Sam rolled his eyes, but hugged him close. Tony and Steve were still staring at each other, neither one moving or saying anything. Tony was the one to break the silence after a few more awkwardly drawn out moments.

"No, you're not Steve." Tony shook his head in denial. "You can't be Steve."

Steve's mouth opened and closed a few times like he was trying to say something, but couldn't quite get the words out.

"I am... um, Steve," Steve managed to get out, blushing over how awkward it was.

Tony rubbed at his temples and shook his head again.

"No, I can't- I can't do this right now."

Tony headed straight back to the door, grabbing his shoes, not even bothering to put them on, and walked out. Steve whimpered, looking hurt and lost and like he kinda wanted to chase after Tony, but was also afraid of just being rejected again. Brock just groaned, grumbling under his breath about being way too fucking stubborn before heading after Tony.

"That's- That was my soulmate," Steve said, somehow sounding both shocked and heartbroken.

"Yeah, I kinda got that," Sam said, resting a hand on Steve's shoulder. "You okay, man?"

Steve swallowed and nodded, but truthfully, he had no fucking clue if he was okay or not. He was completely blindsided by the sudden appearance and then just as sudden disappearance of his soulmate and he had no clue how to feel about that. He thought devastated might be the right word, but then somehow that didn't seem like it fit at all. Steve felt like he was dying, and no, he did not think that was an exaggeration.

*****

"Tony, stop!" Brock called out to him. "Don't make me run after you."

Tony groaned, coming to a halt at the end of the hall and turning to glare at Brock.

"You knew," Tony accused.

"I did, or at least I was like ninety percent sure about it."

"You should have told me. You know how I feel about Alphas."

"I know, but you told me-"

"I know what I said!" Tony snapped. "Don't use my own words against me. I confided in you and you used it against me."

Tony swallowed back the lump in his throat, feeling betrayed and confused. He wanted an Alpha, but he didn't want the things that inevitably would follow, like being controlled or looked down on. Most of all he was scared that Steve would be perfect and Tony wouldn't be good enough for him.

"Tony... I'm sorry, but I knew you were going to be stubborn about this. You told me that you regret not calling him. This is your chance to get to know him. You might like him if you give him a chance."

Tears pricked at Tony's eyes. He wasn't worried about not liking Steve, well, he was worried about that. Mostly though he was worried about falling too hard, too fast, only to be rejected. He wasn't the kind of Omega to just submit and say yes, sir. He had opinions and dreams and no intention of letting anyone else tell him how to live his life, but those weren't the kinds of things that most Alphas wanted in a mate.

"Tony, I've spent time with Steve and he's literally the softest Alpha I've ever met, and I'm mated to Sam so that's really saying something. My Alpha is totally wrapped around my finger."

Tony smiled a little at that.

"Sam does seem nice... for an Alpha," Tony teased.

Brock laughed and nudged his shoulder.

"He is and Steve is too. Just talk to him, Tony. See what happens."

Tony groaned, but let Brock lead him back to the apartment. Steve was still in shock, only a few minutes having passed since Tony walked out. It wasn't nearly enough time to process what had happened and suddenly Tony reappeared. Tony shifted on his feet, his hand slipped into Brock's, his palm sweaty. Brock squeezed his hand encouragingly and leaned closer to whisper in his ear.

"Do you want some space?"

Tony licked his lips, not sure he wanted this at all, but he owed himself this. He needed to at least try or he'd always be left wondering if it could have worked out. Besides, Brock was not going to let this go until Tony at least gave it a try. He swallowed down his fears and nodded. Brock nodded, pressed a kiss to his cheek, and pulled Sam deeper into the apartment. Steve and Tony stared at each other and it started to feel tense and awkward.

Tony groaned.

"We need to talk."

Steve looked nervous, certain that Tony was about to reject him, but he nodded.

"I don't like Alphas," Tony blurted out when the silence dragged on.

Steve flinched like Tony had slapped him.

"Oh," Steve said, unable to hide his disappointment.

He just knew that his Omega was about to reject him and Steve wasn't sure he would survive the rejection.

"Yeah..." Tony said. "I'm willing to give this a try though, but if you try to go all Alpha on me..."

Tony shook his head and Steve's brows furrowed.

"I don't like the way Alphas feel entitled to an Omega's body. Like Omegas are beneath them and only there for an Alpha's pleasure."

Steve bit his lip, not wanting to get his hopes up. He was pretty sure his Omega was suggesting that he wanted to be the dominant one in their relationship. Or maybe he was just saying he didn't want to submit to an asshole Alpha. Either way, Steve could definitely work with this.

"I would never force myself on you, Anthony."

"Tony."

Steve blinked at him in surprise before smiling softly. He didn't want to assume that Tony was comfortable enough with him to use a nickname, but it touched Steve to know that his Omega was trying. Tony wanted to give this a try even if he was worried about it and that was enough for Steve. He would be the best Alpha ever, because he would be exactly what Tony needed him to be. He knew already that he'd give Tony anything he wanted and he'd try his best to be whatever Tony wanted him to be.

"Tony," He breathed out.

The word rolled off his tongue like velvet and Tony felt all fluttery inside. He cleared his throat, feeling the urge to escape the foreign sensation.

"How old are you even?" Tony blurted out, feeling awkward and uncertain in a way that he hated feeling. He was so not used to the warm feeling inside of him or the desire to go to Steve and touch him and be held close.

Steve blinked at the question, caught off guard by it.

"Um, I'm not that young."

Tony raised a brow at him and Steve squirmed.

"You look young," Tony pointed out.

"I'm legal!" Steve said defensively.

"So you're what? Eighteen?"

Steve looked down at his feet, looking awfully small for a six foot, two hundred pound hunk of pure muscle. Tony took that to be a yes.

"You're what? Ten years younger than me?" Tony said, shaking his head in disbelief. "You're practically still a pup. I can't date you."

Steve pouted.

"I don't want to date you. I want to mate with you. I want you to be mine."

"That's infinitely worse," Tony said, flinging his hands up in exasperation. "You do realize that right? That's so much worse."

"No, it's not. There's nothing wrong with an age gap, besides no one would judge us for it. The goddess chose you for me," Steve insisted.

Tony rolled his eyes.

"Or maybe she chose you for me. Ever thought that maybe it's not the Alpha that owns the Omega, but the Omega that owns the Alpha?" Tony snarked.

Steve blushed.

"Okay," Steve said, a little breathless. "I'll be yours, if only you'll have me."

Tony narrowed his eyes at him.

"You'd let me own you?"

"God, yes. Please, just don't reject me."

Tony licked his lips.

"Okay, come here, pup ."

Steve's blush deepened at being called a pup, but he didn't object to it. The moment Steve was within reach Tony grabbed his shirt and slammed their lips together, turning them so he could shove Steve up against the wall. Tony's hair was still dripping wet and his shirt was drenched. It got Steve wet, soaking through his own sweater, but he didn't care.

"Okay, then, pretty Alpha. You want to play, then let's play," Tony said, coming as close to a growl as an Omega could.

Steve gasped when Tony's hand grasped him in between his legs and groped him through his pants. His face lit up bright red and Tony smirked at his blushing Alpha. He was so fucking sweet. Tony thought that maybe, just maybe, this could work out, but they were going to have to agree on one very important thing if there was going to be any chance of them mating.

"Let's be clear, I still want your knot, but I'm in charge here and you do what I say or I'll throw you out and you won't get another chance."

Steve swallowed, nodding rapidly.

"Yes, sir."

Tony smirked, licking his lips.

"Good boy," Tony purred in his ear, his tongue darting out to lick his neck, his teeth sharp on his skin.

Steve whimpered, his head falling to the side to give his Omega better access. Clearly, the goddess knew what she was doing when she paired them up, because this was better than Steve had dared to hope for. Steve had always been excited about having a mate, but he had always thought he'd present as an Omega. When he didn't, he was concerned that he'd never be a good enough Alpha, but the moment he saw Tony in that bar he knew that he was in love, knew that he'd do anything to please this man.

Now here they were and Tony wanted him, wanted to use him, and Steve was in heaven. There was nothing that he wanted more than to please Tony, to be used by him, to be ordered around by his pretty little Omega.

Tony tried not to think about how young and naive Steve was. He didn't want to admit that a part of him was thrilled to be more experienced, to be the one teaching his Alpha about pleasure. It was pretty obvious that Steve had no experience, because when Tony kissed him Steve had no idea what he was doing. He had no rhythm and he clearly didn't know what to do with his tongue when Tony licked at his lips and dove inside his mouth. Tony thought it was cute though. Steve squirmed and whimpered, his blush spreading down his neck, and Tony ate it all up.

"Fuck, you're cute," Tony groaned when he pulled away. "Maybe I'll keep you after all."

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fragile-heartt · 3 years

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omg hello all. @divine-mistake tagged me in a cute lil questionnaire that I thought I might do because why not?

1. why did you choose your url?

Well. I guess I'm a super emotional person and a lot of the time I feel kinda fragile emotionally? Like I will break into tears pretty easily over a lot of stuff. So. yeah. I've got a fragile little heart. that is me. But I'm thinking of changing it having it convey how I am completely unhinged, sexy as hell, and also sleepy as a motherfucker. So if anyone has any ideas on a username that would embody all that, lmk please.

2. any side blogs?

HAHAHAHAHAHA nope. All my chaos is right here, in this wonderful little blog.

3. how long have you been on tumblr?

ohhhhhhh boy. I was first on tumblr in 2012? I think I started this one though in 2014 though because I let a boy I dated follow me on my old one and I couldn't figure out how to block him bc I was only ever on mobile and it was just a mess. I also didn't know how to delete my blog so it's still out there. lmaooo. so I just made a new one and here we are. So I've been here for a long, long time.

4. do you have a queue tag?

#queue queue queue

but it is important that you know to say it like the star wars blasters sound effects, like a good pew pew pew

5. why did you start your blog in the first place?

Tbh I don't know. I must have heard about it, seen people post tumblr posts on instagram or twitter or something, and then decided to make my own account on here? idk idk.

6. why did you choose your icon?

so it is a picture of me that one of my exes took that I think is kinda nice and doesn't have my face in it bc wooo boy I'm self conscious. and also if anyone i know in real life found my blog i think i would die. i should probably find another icon tbh this one is too obviously me lmao

7. why did you choose your header?

i am a slut for space. i love stars and shit. pluto is my main bitch tho. i love her. so maybe i'll change it to pluto? not sure.

8. what's your post with the most notes?

it is my pinned post, and coincidentally the first ever original post i ever made on this website. and i only made it two months ago! it already has a whole 7 notes so watch out world, big things will be happening here at fragile-heartt

9. how many mutuals do you have?

I actually have no idea. I only talk to a few, but I cherish each and every one of you

10. how many followers do you have?

472, but I'm pretty sure a solid amount are bots? idk

11. how many people do you follow?

591 and growing every day HAHAHA I think I've only unfollowed a few people since 2014? So this is 7 years worth of follows

12. have you ever made a shitpost?

not in the technical term, i don't think? actually maybe? but probably not. i think i've only made like... 5 posts total ever. so

13. how often do you use tumblr each day?

uhhhhh anywhere from i forget about it for a week to a solid 7-10 hours in a day? I read a lot at night and I've got insomnia so sometimes I'm just reading from 11pm to 6am plus all my scrolling during the day

14. did you have a fight/argument with another blog once?

I've only really started interacting with people on tumblr the past two or so months? So no. And I would never want to, anyway. I left my internet drama days behind me once I graduated high school.

15. how do you feel about "you need to reblog this" posts?

I have blocked them from my memory. When I see them, no I didn't. I seriously cannot even remember the last one I came across or what they even really are about? Like is it trying to raise awareness for a social justice issue/current event and stuff like that? I seriously don't know.

16. do you like tag games?

yes omg. please tag me in things. I love interacting with all you guys

17. do you like ask games?

again. I love any interaction. i have never played an ask game? like i've never been able to host one and have people send me asks. but i love sending people asks for ask games! always a fun time

18. which of your mutuals do you think is tumblr famous? bro idk. tumblr fame seems like such a strange concept to me. They all deserve to have lots of followers though, and lots of interaction on their posts and stuff bc they're all amazing and talented and I love them all

19. do you have a crush on a mutual?

OMG DO I. I've got the biggest crush on all my writer mutuals. YOURE ALL SO TALENTED I LOVE YOU GUYS SO MUCH AHHHH MY HEART IS SO FULL WITH ALL OF MY LOVE FOR YOU GUYS. I would smooch each and every one of you

20. no pressure tags:

@loving-bucky-is-easier @mallowswriting @waytoomanyships @werepup-sweetwolf @steppedoffaflight and anyone else that wants to bc why not. i would tag a bunch more people but i am nervous! do all you guys like me? do you still remember you follow me? idk idk! I am an anxious mess hsdfbhsdbfhb

ANYWAY if you're reading this and you made it through all this nonsense, I love you. you're the best.

#tag game #i was tagged!#about me

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shutupandshipit · 3 years

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Sharpen Your Blades - Ch.14

Summary: “What the fuck is that supposed to mean?”

The thinning of Aizawa’s patience was evident in the twitching of his brow. “If you stop asking questions, maybe I could finish explaining.

”With a huff and roll of his eyes, Katsuki glanced away from their coach.

“City Hall and the SC want us to give them more variety. We are a team solely made up of single skaters. Every year, we dominate the rankings for single skate while Shinketsu dominates the pairs, so this year both cities are being required to split their skaters evenly between singles and pairs with at least one pair coming from out top five.” There was a collective intake of breath, but no one commented, choosing instead to remain silent. “Unfortunately, for us, it’s a lot easier to switch from pairs to singles. With our male to female ratio, alpha/beta/omega ratio, and those of you actually experienced with pair skating, we’re at a disadvantage. So, I’ve decided to choose your partners for you.”

…..

Or where Katsuki and Izuku are forced to be partners so they can continue to compete, but the blood in the water may be thicker than anyone realized.

Pairing: Bakudeku

Rating: T

Chapter: 14/20

Previously <- Chapter 13: The Innocence of Children

Chapter 15: Gross Holiday Activities -> Next

Chapter 14: Fighting

Izuku smelled like nothing.

Katsuki, on the other side of the ice from him, jerked his head up at the intrusion. Everyone had a scent whether they wore blockers or not. Even betas whose scents and presences were typically more neutral, still had them. Being an alpha, Katsuki was specifically tuned to detect other alphas and omegas, but it wasn’t difficult to pick out a beta either.

In pre-rut, it was worse. He could smell pretty much everything. He could smell who hadn’t worn enough deodarant, who was on their period, who was in pre-heat or rut, even who was having sex with each other. Their scents told him everything on top of the natural scents produced by their bodies. Sometimes he hated it, but sometimes it was useful.

So, to have a presence completely unaccompanied by a scent was nearly impossible. Still, Izuku stood at the rink opening being completely scentless. The others seemed unconcerned with this lack of a scent. But fear burned hot in Katsuki’s body.

All he could see were dead green eyes. An orange pill bottle on the floor. Casts and bruises and broken skin. The complete and utter absence of scent.

Fear. Terror. Rage. All of those emotions flooded back into his body as if he was standing in that room all over again with Inko right behind him.

His mind went blank. In the next moment, there were strong arms around his body and the scent of blood in the air and pain in his knuckles and Kirishima yelling in his ear. “Woah, bro! What the heck? Calm down! He didn’t do anything!”

“Don’t you put Auntie through that again! Don’t you fucking dare!” he raged at Izuku.

The omega was on the ice, head tilted back at Ochako pressed a cloth to his nose. The cloth was stained red, and his eyes were wide and terrified as he stared up at Katsuki.

“Man, calm down!” Kirishima tried again, “What’s going on?”

Katsuki wasn’t listening as he continued to struggle against Kirishima’s hold. “I can fucking smell it on you! How could you go back to that? Are you fucking stupid? What about your mom, huh? What about her, damn Deku? Are you even considering her?”

Deku’s voice was garbled behind the cloth. “I-I-I’m sorry. Kacchan, I’m sorry.”

“I don’t give a fuck if your sorry!” Katsuki screamed. Kirishima finally got a solid hold on him, lifting him off his feet and turning to carry him away. “Go apologize to your mother’s face instead, asshole!”

Katsuki was kicked off the ice for the entire week after that, but Izuku never came to practice lacking a scent again even if at times the scent of suppressants still undercut it.

…..

November Week 4

"That was good!" Toshinori called from the sidelines as Katsuki and Izuku came to a stop at the end of their program. Their chests heaved, arms wrapped around each other as sweat poured down their skin. "You're lifts are coming along. What I want you to focus on rightnow is sharpness, and not execution. If you have to slow down to prepare for the next movement each time, then do that. You guys have the basic movements down, so let's try to make them crisp."

Separating from Izuku, Katsuki glared at their coach. "What the fuck is wrong with how we've been doing it? It's fine."

"Kacchan!" Izuku reprimanded, but Toshinori already had a response.

"I'm on the outside looking in. You might think it feels fine the way you're doing it, but if you want to win uncontested, there are still some things you need to polish."

"Whatever, old man," Katsuki snarled, glaring away from both Izuku and their coach. He could feel their eyes on him, knew they were analyzing him for every broken thread in his quilt. He hated it. He wanted to hurt them. He wanted to fuck Izuku. He wanted to taste blood on his tongue. He wanted to go home and be alone to sleep.

Toshinori's reply was simple. "Bakugou."

Katsuki didn't turn to him. He shouldn't even be on the ice. He should have been home pulling out every soft fabric he had in his apartment to begin constructing the bones for a nest his omega would complete. He should be stocking up on snacks and water and other things his omega would need in his heat. He should be-

Snarling, he shook his head and pressed the heel of his hand to his temple. His head was beginning to throb, an early sign that his rut would be coming by the end of the week. There was the strange feeling that it was going to be agonizing like it never had been before, and that caused anxiety to flare in his chest which only pissed him off more than he already was.

"Bakugou," Toshinori said again, and this time Katsuki glared at the older alpha and bared his teeth a little. Their coach seemed unaffected by the display. "I know your rut is almost here, but we still need to continue. I know it's your alpha talking and not you, which is why I'm not taking this personally, but I'm going to need you to focus."

That pissed off Katsuki all the more. "Yes, sir," he ground out. He was trying, no one could say he wasn't. It was just that every time he put his hands on Izuku, his mind immediately went primal. All he could see was his hands wrapped around a naked waist. Taste sweet slick on his tongue despite never having the pleasure. Feel nails dragging down his back.

If he could have ripped his alpha straight out of his head, he would have.

“Okay, go again,” Toshinori said, restarting the music.

Katsuki and Izuku returned to their starting positions at center ice. Their performance only degraded after that with each successive constructive comment grating on Katsuki until he was only standing and nodding without hearing what the older alpha was actually saying.

…..

After another thirty minutes of practice, Izuku couldn’t hold his tongue anymore. He could tell the exact moment that Katsuki shut down to Toshinori’s pointers and suggestions, and that made him angry. He wasn’t someone who got angry easily, at least not to Katsuki’s extent, but he could feel the effects of Katsuki’s pre-rut beginning to leak into him as well. Not only was his temper shorter than usual, but he could feel his body trying to fight against the suppressants in his system to respond in kind. He’d been pushing hard throughout the practice in hopes of forgetting the sensation.

That old injury of his hip throbbed in time with his heart, but the heat of anger dampened the pain.

He waited only long enough for Toshinori to say his goodbyes and leave the rink to whirl on Katsuki. The rink doors hadn’t even finished clicking closed.

“You’re not even trying, Kacchan!” Izuku shouted in Katsuki’s face. They were nearly the same height, Katsuki only having a few centimeters on him. In that moment though, those centimeters felt significant. Even if Izuku wasn’t intimidated by Katsuki anymore, he was still very well aware of the fact that he was an omega who was smaller bowing up to the larger alpha who’d been courting him.

Katsuki’s crimson eyes narrowed in a glare. “Who the fuck’s not trying, damn Deku?”

“You! You’re not trying, Kacchan! You’re letting your pre-rut control you! It’s sad. You’ve never been like this before. It’s like you can’t take the fact that you actually have to work for something for once!” Izuku shouted, shoving a finger into Katsuki's chest.

“What the fuck are you talking about? I wasn’t the only one gettting criticized! We’re both in this together!”

“Yeah, but I’m not the one shutting everything out! I’m actually trying to incorporate what we’re being given!”

Katsuki’s face was red with rage and a vein visibly throbbed at his temple. “We shouldn’t have to be getting criticism right now! We should be at the point where we’re just making minor adjustments!”

“Well, we’re not, and you’re going to have to deal with it!”

“We should be further along!”

“And who’s fault is that?” Izuku exploded far louder than before, voice echoing deafeningly around them, “Because it’s not mine, Kacchan! I’m not the one who refused to practice together! That was you! I’ll admit that I had to work through my fears, but I’m not the only one! We would be further by now if you’d let us practice together from the very beginning!”

Katsuki took a step towards Izuku, but seemed to stop himself. Instead, he snarled, “I don’t have to take this from you.”

“Then leave because I’m not going to stop you! Practicing with you when you’re like this isn’t going to get us anywhere, and honestly, I’d rather not skate with someone who gives up on trying!”

“Fuck you!” Spinning away from Izuku, Katsuki stomped off the ice to grab his bag.

Izuku stayed on the ice, body all but steaming in the cold of the rink. After a moment, he left out a long scream of frustration. He’d never been one to let his anger and frustration show so obviously, but in that moment, the scream felt good. It just wasn’t the kind of good he needed.

Taking off, he made round after round along the wall of the rink, increasing his speed until everything was just a blur and his breath was coming in exhausted pants. He made jump after jump, ignoring the twinge of his hip as his posture degraded. With each jump, he pushed himself to jump higher, spin faster, connect more jumps together, make them more difficult.

He should have stopped himself, but he didn’t.

He pushed off the ice, and panic shot through him as pain exploded through his hip. When he landed, it was in an attempt to compensate, and his ankle twisted beneath him.

He hit the ice hard, pain jarring up his leg straight to his hip. He gripped his hip with one hand, the other curled into a fist above his head. Tears stung his eyes, mouth hanging open as he fought the nausea that came with the pain. A single, harsh sob barked from his throat.

“Fuck, Deku!” Katsuki's scent filled his nose in the next moment. Warmth pressed over his back as Katsuki’s strong, calming purr vibrated along his back. An arm pressed into his stomach and a hand wrapped around the wrist above his head. “You idiot! Why didn’t you stop?”

Any other day, Izuku would have happily taken the comfort, but he was still angry. He allowed himself to soak in the contact for only a moment, memorizing the feel of Katsuki’s weight pressing down on top of him before he was shoving the alpha away and struggling back to his feet. The first thing he noticed as the fact that Katsuki wasn’t wearing his skates. “Get off of me, Kacchan! I don’t want you touching me!”

Katsuki pushed to his feet as well, shoes slipping on the ice. “I’m trying to help, you ungrateful asshole!”

“Well, keep it to yourself! I don’t need the help of someone who doesn’t want to try!” Izuku limped towards the rink entrance, digging his fingers into his hip to keep himself on solid footing. “Just leave me alone!”

“Are you fucking serious right now?” Katsuki shouted after him as he struggled to follow.

“Yes! Leave me alone! I don’t want anything to do with you!”

For the second time that day, Katsuki yelled, “Fuck you!” As soon as he was back on solid footing, he stormed passed Izuku towards where his bag lay haphazardly on the ground. “I should have known better than to come back! I knew this whole partnership was a shit idea! I should have just told Aizawa to go fuck himself!”

“Maybe that would have been better!” Izuku screamed after his back. As soon as the doors slammed closed though and the pain fully set in, he crumpled onto the bench and let the tears flow. When he finally made his way out of the building, he wasn’t surprised to find that Katsuki hadn’t waited around like he usually did nowadays.

#mha #my hero academia #bakudeku #dekubaku #decchan #bakugou katsuki #midoriya izuku #omegaverse #omega!izuku #a/b/o dynamics #alpha!katsuki #figure skater au #no quirks au #my writing #sharpen your blades

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ranboounlabeled · 3 years

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Incorrect Quotes

So I had the bright idea one day to make incorrect quotes based on a DnD campaign and the players. Why not post them here? If any of them find this and request this to be deleted, I won’t mind. Blu - DM, any other character you don’t see listed here Tuck - Alzora Autumn/Me - Aria Maria - Yeet Bard - Tad Whipple - Niyana ~ Aria at 3AM: Alzora wake up Alzora, annoyed: What is it? Aria: If butterflies fall in love, do they feel humans/mobians in their stomach? Alzora: The rest of Team Supernova: Niyana: aria what the fuck Yeet: No no, wait. She has a point. Yeet: What if they’re mobian butterflies? Snipe: What if they just feel really tiny butterflies in their stomachs? Niyana: That’s morbid. ~ Aria: is pink panther a lion Alzora: say that again but slower Aria: i don't get it? Alzora: he's the pink PANTHER Aria: okay? but is he a lion? Alzora: Aria. he's a panther Aria: is that a kind of lion??? Alzora: no it's a fucking panther Aria: I just googled it. Are they not pink? Alzora: AND LIONS ARE??? ~ Yeet: *gets shot* Shit. Alzora: Language! ~ Niyana: Is 4 alot? Aria/Alzora: Depends on the context. Aria/Alzora: Money? No. Aria/Alzora: Murders? Yes. ~ Yeet: Just a reminder that I'm non-binary so if you've got a crush on me, u gay bro ~

Alzora: if one of you says that stupid thing again I will not hesitate to give you frost bite Aria: aw that's so sad alexa play despacito Alzora: starting with you Alt idea from our DM (context, Alzora is an ice dragon and I compare her to Elsa alot): Aria: thats so sad, alexa play Let it Go. Alzora: you will die in 3 days ~ Niyana: THE FLOOR IS LAVA Yeet: *helps Snipe onto a chair* Alzora: *throws Aria off the table* revenge Niyana: There are two types of people ~ Alzora: If anyone says ‘mood’ ‘same’ or 'me’ in response to something I say ever again, I will throw you out the nearest window Yeet: Mood Aria: Same Niyana: Me Alzora calling tad: hello? Tad can you come here quickly? Tad: why what happened? Alzora: well lets just say there’s a gun in my hand, 3 dead bodies on the floor, blood on the walls floor and ceiling, and police on the way Tad: Tad: what Tad: The police are going to be there? Yeah, you're on your own ~ Aria: Mobius is a hot, molten core with a solid crust. Therefore, its a ravioli Alzora: Please stop Yeet, taking notes: No no let her finish ~ Aria: Comparing me and Alzora is like comparing apples to oranges. Aria: I mean, I like apples, and I really don't like oranges. Aria: Oranges are annoying. ~ nesta: fuck your cake! aria:

~ Niyana: I’ve been working on my evil laugh! ‘Cause everybody’s got an evil laugh, you know, like... Ha ha ha ha HA! Like that. Alzora: Okay, here’s the thing. You’re not ready... for the evil laugh, okay, you can do a chuckle? Like a mildly upset chuckle? After MY evil laugh. ~ Snipe: You're smiling. Did something good happen? Aria: Can't I smile just because I feel like it? Niyana: Alzora tripped and fell down the stairs. ~ Yeet: So, why is Aria mad at you? Alzora: They sneezed and I accidentally said "shut the fuck up" instead of "bless you". Yeet: Alzora: Yeet: How do you accidentally say "shut the fuck up"?! ~ Alzora: Anyone who says 'uwu' or 'owo' again is being arrested for crimes against humanity! Aria: Cwimes against huwumanity. Alzora: I'm going to break your fingers. ~ Yeet, while crying: LOVE IS DEAD AND NEVER EXISTED! ALL YOU DID WAS BETRAY ME AS I LAY SICK AND FESTERING! YOU ARE THE DEFINITION OF DREAD! Snipe: Are you ok??? Yeet, crying even more: NIYANA STOLE MY FUCKIGN WEAPONS! [This breakdown is immediately followed by Yeet trying to beat the shit out of a 15 year-old] ~ Alzora: Good Morning! Aria: Good Morning everyone Snipe: Good Morning. [ half of everyone else says their good mornings] Yeet: My god you all sound like robots! “good morning” this “good morning” that. Yeet: Spice it up!!! Niyana: HEY MOTHERFUCKERS ~ Alzora: *falls* Alzora: Alzora: I suppose I’ll have to add the force of gravity to my list of enemies. ~ Aria: Tall people are the enemy! Alzora: I'm sorry, I can't hear you from up here. Aria: I will tie your fucking shoelaces together and you won't even know it! ~ Niyana: But rules were made to be broken! Tad: They were made to be followed. Nothing is made to be broken. Nesta: Uh, pinatas. Alzora: Glow sticks. Yeet: Karate boards. Aria: Spaghetti when you have a small pot. Niyana: And rules! Snipe: Don’t forget bones. Yeet: Ye-Wait no- ~ Aria: Onion rings are just vegetable doughnuts. Alzora, used to Aria: Sure they are, Aria. Aria: Your stomach thinks all potatoes are mashed. Alzora: Okay. Aria: Lasagna is just spaghetti-flavored cake. Alzora: … Aria, oblivious: Lobsters are mermaids to scorpions. Alzora, crying: Aria, please stop. Yeet, fascinated: No, continue. ~ Yeet: Hey, Snipe, what are you doing here? Snipe: This is where I come to cry. Yeet: What. Snipe: I said this is where I come to be a cool guy. ~ [loud crashing comes from Team Supernova's room, Tad runs in to find the room completely trashed] Tad: What happened in here!? [The rest of the Team are on an elevated surface] Aria, on top of the bookshelf, shaking: We saw a spider... ~ Yeet: Isn’t it amazing what friends learn from each other? Aria: I learn a lot from Phin because he makes so many mistakes. ~ Aria: AVJDJAHDHSHS Tad: what is that? Aria: a keyboard smash Tad: how do I do it? Aria: just press anything Tad: 7 ~ Alzora: Bitch. Aria: Blocked. Alzora: Wait, unblock me, I need to tell you something. Aria: Unblocked. Alzora: Bitch. ~ Alzora: Don’t say a word. Aria: Aria: Fergalicious. Alzora: I said no words. Aria: Oh, I see. Two weeks ago playing Scrabble, it’s not a word. Now suddenly it is a word because it’s convenient for you. ~ Aria: Olli? Why are you outside? It's pouring! Olli, drenched: The aesthetic, Miss Aria. Aria: Olli, please. Olli: ThE aEsThEtIc, MiSs ArIa! ~ Niyana: There’s no “i” in happyness. Aria: There is if you fuckin’ spell it right. ~ Niyana: Do you care if I take the skin off the Furby? Niyana: I want to make him a God. Once he is free of his sinful flesh he can begin the path towards enlightenment. He will take care of Us. Niyana: Also I want to softhack his circuits. Yeet: I literally could not care less but never say anything as frightening as that sentence ever again. Tad, not looking up from his sketch book: I could design some long furby designs if you need me to. ~ Stella: I have a mafia! Yeet: We have a Niyana. ~ Yeet: Bro. Snipe: What bro? Yeet: Tell the whole world we’re bros. Snipe: *whispers* We’re bros. Yeet: Why’d you whisper bro? Snipe: Because you’re my whole world bro. Yeet: B R O. ~ Yeet: Your house is burning down! You can only save one thing. What do you save? Aria: My house?? ~ Aria: Yeet, do you ever want to talk about your emotions? Yeet: No. Alzora: I do. Aria: I know, Alzora. Alzora: I’m sad. Aria: I know, Alzora. ~ Stella: *looking around in closet* What should I change into? Snipe: A better person. ~ Whatever characters Yeet writes into fanfiction: *hugging and vibing* Yeet: Who would ever want to harm such a loving relationship? Yeet, brandishing a pen: I WOOOOULD! ~ Yeet: Chillax~ Alzora: That’s not a word. Yeet: Sometimes the ones who deny “chillax” are the ones who need to chillax the most. ~ Aria: 13 year old me would be both terrified and in awe at who I am now. Niyana: 13 year old me wouldn't think I'd get this far. Yeet: I would fight a 13 year old me. ~ Snipe: Yeet came into my room in the middle of the night, I pretended to be asleep, and they stroked my hair for a minute then left. Are they planning to kill me??? Aria: No they just care about you, idiot. ~ Yeet: Well, I guess you could say I’ve fallen for you. Snipe: You just fell down seven flights of stairs, how are you even alive? ~ Yeet: I wish I could block people in real life. Alzora: A restraining order. Niyana: Murder. ~ Alzora: What the frick is wrong with you? Snipe: Please be more specific and resubmit with the proper paperwork. ~ [on a city bus] Stranger: Are you traveling for business or pleasure? Alzora, in full armor: Combat. ~ Aria: Who ate my fries? Yeet? Yeet: I don’t like fries. Aria: Snipe? Snipe: I don’t need food. Aria: Niyana? Niyana: …It was Alzora. Alzora: Yeah it was. Aria: wh ~ Alzora: They are completely literal people. Metaphors go over their heads. Yeet: Nothing goes over my head... my reflexes are too fast! I would catch it. ~ Yeet: Live by the ass, die by the ass. Tad: S t o p ~ Niyana: Is there a word that is a mix between sad and mad? Tad: Malcontented, disgruntled, miserable, desolate. Yeet: Smad. ~ Tad: If someone is trying to rob a civilian, what is the correct course of action? Yeet: T-pose to assert dominance Tad: No. Niyana: Say "Thank you Chaos, for this meal I'm about to have" and then- Tad, interrupting: even worse Yeet, taking notes: Wait, let her finish ~ Aria: Hey Alzora, do you think Snipe feels regret? Because i just saw him choke down one of Tad’s pancakes in half a second. Alzora: Snipe has only one emotion and that’s hubris. ~ Yeet: *peeling a banana* May I take your jacket lol Snipe: Do you think other people can't hear you? ~ Aria: You have to pick your battles, Alzora. Alzora: I’m full of rage and I’m picking all of them. ~ Nesta, T-posing in the hallway: Good morning, parental figure. Tad, not looking up from his coffee: Hello, problem child. ~ Yeet, throwing his head in Snipe’s lap: Tell me I’m pretty. Snipe, lovingly stroking their hair: You’re pretty fucking annoying, that’s what you are. ~ Yeet, hoarsely: I think I'm losing my voice. Niyana: Ha! That means you can't yell at me anymore! [later that day] Niyana: Turns out, Yeet is scarier when they’re quiet. ~ Snipe: WE'RE SINKING IN DEEP WATER. Yeet: Don't worry. I learned this from a survival TV show. Yeet: OH TOOOOODLES-- ~ Niyana: Who else uses can openers to drink soft drinks? Yeet: This is extremely unhinged I must try it immediately. ~ Snipe: Boil up some mountain dew. It’s gonna be a long night. Aria: You could have said anything else. Yeet: fire burn and cauldron bubble, baja blast to fuel my trouble. ~ Aria: What do you want for dinner? Niyana: How about Sonic? Aria: *whispers* He's so fast how would we catch him-

#I can assure you there's much more but im tired #I'll reblog with more later #incorrect quotes #sonic incorrect quotes #sonic forces #dnd 5e #tad the duck #yeet #aria the jackal #alzora frost #niyana the cat #dnd incorrect quotes

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tempestuous-cosplay · 3 years

Text

just cuz

Ask me these probing NSFW questions ‘cuz I’m bored

SEXYTIMES EXPERIENCES

1. How many people have you had sex with?

13? somewhere around there.

2. Can you remember the names of everyone you’ve slept with?

if I try hard enough, yeah, but off the cuff, no

3. With whom did you first do the sexytimes? Was it good?

My first Bf, and hahahaha no. Not at all.

4. What’s the best sex you’ve ever had?

a close friend and i took MDMA and fucked for, like, 4 hours and it was lovely.

5. What’s the worst sex you’ve ever had?

this guy i banged in collage who was just bony, small, boring, and ignored me after.

6. Where’s the most unusual place you’ve had sex?

In a tent? Or the time in a church.

7. Where’s the most unusual place you’ve masturbated?

I don't have any fun or interesting stories about that.

8. Have you ever been caught doing the sexytimes?

NOPE

9. If you masturbate, when did you start, and how?

around middle school or early highschool but it was very rare bc i didn't get much from it. But the first time I actually orgasmed was when I hit 22 and got on T. then jacking it became a regular thing.

10. Have you ever been caught masturbating?

My dad walked in right before I was about to get started. that was the worst.

QUEER SHIT

11. How would you describe your sexuality using only adjectives (describing words–busy, fluffy, squishy, etc.)?

weird and complicated but friendly

12. Have you ever been in a queer relationship?

a solid 95% of my relationships have been queer. Only 1 wasn't.

13. Have you ever been in a straight relationship?

Just one. Gross

14. How and when did you realise you weren’t straight?

the moment i knew it was something that was possible. so very early.

15. Are you out to everyone you know?

p much

16. Where do you meet queer folks to date? Do you find it difficult?

I don't really date. But I made my friends through cosplay and then by meeting their friends and it just keeps going.

17. If your parents know about your sexuality, how did they react?

They always knew. I never really "Came out". I have p chill parents

18. Does your best friend know about your sexuality? How did they react?

Duh. I've slept with a number of them.

19. Describe your first queer kiss.

Much better than my first straight kiss.

20. What’s the queerest shit you’ve ever done?

My queer platonic partner :3

LET’S GET PHYSICAL

21. Are you happy with your body?

happier than i was and on my way to making it exactly how I want. Tho i do wish I was taller.

22. What’s the raddest part of your bod, and why?

my eyes are very pretty

23. What do you do with your body hair (pubes, underarms, legs, etc.)?

I don't do jack shit. Im lazy

24. Do you have stretch marks? Where?

Some where my tits used to be, inner thighs, and my love handles.

25. Describe your nipples in too much detail.

theyre kinda lopsided bc of how they were reattached during top surgery. the right one is super sensitive to touch and its kinda painful bc NERVE DAMAGE and the left one is totally numb

26. (Vagina-owners) Do you have an “innie” (small, tucked-in inner labia), or an “outie” (more visible/larger inner labia)?

supper innie. I, like, don't have an inner labia at all. Its WEIRD

27. (Vagina-owners) Is it very obvious when you’re turned on (swelling, wetness etc.)?

Yeah bc my clit is HUGE now thanks to T. It gets HARD

28. (Penis-owners) Describe the size and shape of your penis. Are you happy with it?

its, like, an inch an a half long and really small :3. I like it

29. (Penis-owners) Have you tasted your own cum? Did you like it?

Yeah, its kinda tart

30. (Breast-owners) How does the size of your breasts compare? Is one bigger than the other?

Back when I had them, the left one was a lil bigger than the right one, but i had huge badonkers. Just MASSIVE. They were nearly perfect, but they were on me, so it was horrible.

SEXUAL FANTASY LAND

31. Describe your most unusual/taboo fantasy.

consensual non-consent in fiction. I don;t think i could do it IRL.

32. Do you fantasise more about real situations, or imaginary/impossible ones?

It fluxuates, but mostly its very fantasy.

33. Who’s the oddest person you’ve fantasised about?

The Devil from The Arcana

34. Do you ever find yourself fantasising absent-mindedly, or is it something you do on purpose?

it fluxtuates, but horny daydreams are common

35. Do you always fantasise while you masturbate?

sometimes, yeah

36. When you fantasise, does it usually lead to masturbation?

it actually doesn't more than it does.

37. Have you ever had sex with someone while fantasising about someone else?

nah

38. Do you have any celebrity crushes that you fantasise about?

Hozier has had more than one sex dream in my head.

39. Have you ever fantasised about something by accident, and felt weird about it after?

oh sure. thats p normal.

40. Describe your most sexy fantasy.

hah, no. THats too much to type.

KINKTOWN USA

41. How do you feel about BDSM?

im fine with it

42. What’s your most unusual kink?

probably being a living sex doll

43. In an SM context, do you prefer giving pain, or receiving it?

Im not the biggest fan of either but I would rather receiving bc im too scared of accidentally really hurting someone

44. Do you consider yourself to be dominant, submissive, both, or neither?

Im a sub leaning switch.

45. Describe your most recent bondage experience.

got tied up in cosplay for a photoshoot.

46. In a BDSM context, have you ever referred to anyone as “daddy,” “mommy,” or any similar term?

nope but i've been called daddy

47. Do you have a kink for any bodily fluids (pee, saliva, blood, tears, cum, etc.)?

cum, blood, and spit to a small degree.

48. Have you ever revealed a kink to someone and had them react negatively?

not yet tbh.

49. Do you have any kinks that you’re ashamed of?

nah, not really

50. How much money have you spent on equipment for your kinks (toys, whips, chains, etc.)?

OOF!!! A good several hundred dollars. Like...... its a fairly high number.

COME FOR THE QUESTIONS, STAY FOR THE SUBHEADINGS

51. (Vagina-owners) Do you ever squirt when you come?

I have a few times!!

52. Have you ever come solely from penetration (anal or vaginal)?

no, that I haven't managed.

53. Can you have an orgasm without your genitals being touched?

HAH I WISH but no

54. Describe how you like your genitals to be touched.

Nice slow strokes on my clit like a dick with some gentle rubbing on the lips.

55. How sensitive are your nipples? Does nipple play turn you on?

One is numb and one is very painful. So no.

56. Do you find it easier to orgasm with another person, or through masturbation?

Jacking it. I almost never cum with a partner. Sex is more for bonding than personal pleasure tbh.

57. Have you ever had an orgasm that you weren’t expecting?

A few times, yeah!!

58. Do you get off easier from rough contact, or gentle?

rough ish??

59. What’s the best orgasm you’ve ever had?

the few times ive squirted.

60. Did it take you a while to have your first orgasm, or were you an early starter?

took until i was 22

ORAL FIXATION

61. Do you enjoy giving oral sex? Why?

YES!! Its a good mouth feel.

62. What’s your favourite position in which to receive oral?

not sure yet.

63. Describe your oral sex technique.

suck and wiggle. suck and wiggle

64. Do you find it easier to give oral to someone with the same genital configuration as you (eg., you both own vaginas/both own penises), or different?

theyre about the same amount of effort for me.

65. Describe the worst oral sex you’ve ever received.

too much teeth.

66. Describe the best oral sex you’ve ever received.

I was..... on some drug or another, can't remember what, and bro, i mELTED

67. Do you ever simulate oral sex while masturbating (sucking on dildos etc.)?

rarely but sometimes

68. How sensitive is your mouth? Is it an erogenous zone, for you?

not much? but its fine

69. Do you like 69ing?

never tried, not super interested

70. Can you deep-throat?

anything smaller than 6" yeah.

EVERYTHING BUTT

71. Do you like it in the butt?

yeah but it takes a lot for me to be willing to do it.

72. What’s the strangest object you’ve had in your butt?

a phallic shaped kite handle (I was young and stupid)

73. Do you enjoy being rimmed?

sure

74. Can you take a lot in your butt, or just a little?

just a lil

75. Describe your most recent experience with buttsex.

I was, again, on drugs a little under a year ago and let my best friend pop that particular cherry.

76. Do you like doing stuff to other people’s butts?

im indifferent leaning on rather not.

77. (Prostate-owners) Have you ever received a prostate massage?

nope

78. Do you own any buttplugs?

nope

79. Have you ever had an embarrassing buttsex experience?

not yet, hopefully never

80. Have you ever pegged someone (ie., worn a strapon and fucked them in the butt)?

not yet

SHARING IS CARING

All questions assume you’ve done group sex of some kind

81. Describe your most recent group sex experience.

got one coming up in about a week? but an orgy at a furry convention.

82. Have you ever had sex with more than two people at once (eg., foursome, moresome)?

sure have

83. Have you ever had an orgy? Would you?

yup, and YUP!!!

84. Do you enjoy watching your partner(s) having sex with others?

ehehehe yeh

85. Do you prefer to arrange group sex beforehand, or allow it to happen organically?

both are fine!

86. Have you ever felt left out during group sex?

nah, im too sexy for that

87. Have you ever done a gangbang (ie., lots of people have sex with one person, but not each other)?

not yet but i WANNA

88. Have you ever teamed up with someone and given a double blowjob/double cunnilingus?

not yet :O,,,, WAIT!!! YEAH I HAVE!!!!

89. Have you ever been penetrated by more than one person at the same time?

not yet but god I wanna

90. Have you ever been ejaculated on by more than one person at the same time?

not yet

**BONUS DARES**

100. Send me $500.

#red talks #wanna know way too much about me?

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asagi-s-garden · 4 years

Text

It’s time for Dumb Headcanons-

For whatever reason, Kara is the one to carry her and Lena’s first born child, she can’t just vanish for almost a year without saying anything though, I mean what kind of hero would do that?

So she makes a public announcement right after officially finding out that she’s pregnant that she’s “going away for a few months on a personal journey”

Now the thing is, Lena knows her wife, she knows her very well, and she knows that her watching from the sidelines as Alex and the others keep the city safe is going to be incredibly painfull for her, so she decides to take Kara on a vacation for the first few months of pregnancy

Once they get around the second trimester they’re going to have to go into seclusion in a special fortress that Clark and Kate built for her that’s like half Fortress Of Solitude and half Batcave that’s structured to both keep enemies out, and keep Kara in, because they know their girl as well as Lena does (Alex tunes in from skype from time to time to tell them what they’ve done wrong specifically because she knows how crafty Kara is and is just “mmm nope you see that little crack in that wall right there? Yeah she could get through that, I don’t know how, but she could”) Ofcourse freinds and family are welcome to visit because it’d just be cruel otherwise but anyway

Lena knows Kara, she knows that staying cooped up in one place for 5-6 months is going to be hell enough as it is, the full extent of her pregnancy would be a NIGHTMARE, but she also is a little afraid to stay in National City during the first 3-4 months because that would equally be disasterous on Kara’s mental health, seeing shit go down and not being able to help, so she decides to take them on vacation instead, to some of the most peacefull places on Earth, like the New Zealand countryside and a small town in Switzerland and a tiny island that she may possibly own, it seems like a solid plan to begin with, until....

Proof That Lena Luthor Is Supergirl

That’s the headline that starts popping up about four days after they leave and it’s just everywhere, conspiracy theories that Lena is Supergirl because she “vanished“ at the same time that Supergirl left

Kara thinks it’s hilarious, it’s the best laugh she’s had in a week and that’s saying something considering how much time she’s spent watching cute cat videos on the private jet

They have to cut their vacation short so Lena can go back to National City every few weeks, show her face for a few days, and then leave again

Everyone starts making it into an inside joke that they have to be very carefull not to share outside of The Circle of those in the know because otherwise something might slip, Brainy in particular thinks it’s bizarre that Kara just keeps getting more pregnant everytime she comes back and yet somehow no one has tried to pin Lena’s wife, who’s pregnant, as the superhero who has to mysteriously vanish for nine months (because against her better instincts Kara does mention at the press conference that she’ll be returning in June, wich is about nine months from when she announces her departure, somehow no one has picked up on it, until they start with the Lena theory and go “AND HER WIFE IS PREGNANT AND DUE IN JUNE, COINCIDENCE? I THINK NOT-” evidently they’ve decided that Lena is leaving because Kara is pregnant, wich isn’t wrong, but still somehow off)

By the time baby Kira Zor El Luthor is born (they made the conscious decision to break from the “L” tradition in Lena’s family only to end up with the “K” tradition in Kara’s completely by accident; their second born will be named Luka and Alex is going to headdesk so hard she bruises) half of National City has started to believe that Lena is Supergirl, somehow, and she and Kara- as Supergirl- have to actually appear together in public and shake hands with people to prove neither one is a hologram before anyone lets the theory die

Other less cohesive headcanons about this insanity-

-Kara insists that she take care of Kira when she wakes up in the middle of the night because to be 100% honest sleep is a luxury, not a necessity, for her- that’s not even being careless with herself, that’s just.... a legitimate fact... she doesn’t really HAVE to sleep very much as long as she’s under the yellow sun so why on earth should she deprive Lena of it???

Lena: Really, it’s ok, I’ve had a lifetime of being denied sleep so at this point I can actually function with out it :)

Kara: That.... that in absolutely no way makes me feel better...... also I have super hearing so I’ll hear her first anyway, there’s no need to wait for you to wake up..

Lena: Oh no that’s fine, I’m hypervigilant and paranoid so I’ll wake up as soon as she starts crying, no superpowers required! :)

Kara: That just makes me feel even worse?????? B-Besides I have a Kryptonian lullaby I can sing to her that works like a charm

Lena: Oh that’s so lovely, I have an old Irish lullaby my mother taught me right before she died that I can’t wait to sing to Kira as the literal only good thing that comes from my family legacy :)

Kara, near tears: ...Have I done something to you today????? ;_;

Lena: ...no?? why???

-The amount of food they go through during Kara’s pregnancy probably could have sustained a small country for atleast a month, it doesn’t seem to matter how much Lena thinks she’s stocking up ahead of time, it’s never enough and she inevitably always has to buy more the very next day, it takes the combined efforts of Barry and Kate to help keep things stocked so Lena isn’t having to constantly be leaving the Bat Fortress (it was the name Kate and Clark finally decided on and no one has the right to veto it no matter how much certain people want to) to restock, they start this Superhero Delivery Service as a Bros Being Bros type of thing, just freinds being freinds and loving their pregnant super freind so very much but after a week it turns into a ruthless competition of what, ultimately, is the better resource- speed or money, Barry has the Speed Force but Kate has every method of transportation imaginable and also drones and by the time Kira is born a rivalry has slowly simmered between them, the likes of wich goes right back to the type of “Who’s faster?” rivalry Barry has with the Supers, that probably won’t end even after they both die, Kara has mixed feelings about being the inadvertent catalyst for this but Nia thinks it’s the best thing that’s ever happened and she and Mary are placing bets

-Lena knows that Kryptonians don’t exactly have the same health issues to worry about that humans do but Kira is going to be atleast part human isn’t she? So Kara has to be willing to step up her health game wile she’s pregnant right??? Nice theory, no dice, Alex tried to warn her but Lena Luthor doesn’t lose and when she wants something she gets it................ unless that something is getting Kara to have a healthier diet, then there’s no force on any planet in any universe that can help

Lena: An apple

Kara: A dozen doughnuts

Lena: One apple

Kara: ...Sixteen doughnuts

Lena: *gently places an apple on the table*

Kara: ....*stares intensely at the box of doughnuts, unblinking*

Lena: ....What are you doing?

Kara: I wonder if I try hard enough if I can develop telekinesis

Lena: No-

-True panic is Lena taking care of Kira at the office wile Kara is off doing the superheroing for the first time in months (nanny? nope, not in this house, the child never leaves our sight, we die like moms) and Kira starts giggling and levitates out of her bassinet wile Lena is on a conference call so her investors are met with a frantic Lena keeping her voice astoundingly level and clear wile running around the office chasing her floating baby, they mostly just get glimpses of her jacket from time to time and, if they ask, are only met with “I have a child now” and absolutely no other explanation

-For the first time since being on Earth Kara is faced with the cosmic joke that is Earth’s gravity during her late months of pregnancy because everything is wobbly and waddly and holy RAO HOW IS IT SO HARD JUST TO GET OFF OF THE FLOOR!?!?! SHE COULD FLY TWO MONTHS AGO AND NOW IT’S A MAJOR STRUGGLE TO PULL HERSELF OFF OF THE COUCH WHAT THE FUCK!?

-Kate has managed to live through four years of having actual freinds who have started to reproduce and never once has she reacted with more than marginally more interested than what she had during Crisis when Kara tried to hand Jon to her, but in those four years all of those freinds have been straight, to be fair, and there’s something a little different about seeing other lesbians with babies that’s mildly more tolerable, first it was Alex and Kelley, then it was Kara and Lena, Sophie and Mary keep cooing over the babies and Kate doesn’t really get that........ until she’s visiting Kara and an alien attacks and Kara is just “hold my baby-” and flies out the window and Kate is Stuck with a sleeping four-month-old and no ability to get to a phone without waking Kira up so she’s just kind of frozen like that for the foreseeable future and when Kara comes back Kate is laying on the couch, Kira sleeping on her chest, looking incredibly relaxed

Kate: Oh you’re back, we’ve had a lovely time

Kara: Awwwwwwwww, see? You are good with babies <3

Kate: Mmmm still going to have to disagree on that but your’s is... not... bad...

Kara: Sooooooo you’ll babysit sometime? :3

Kate: Nope, this last half hour was enough thanks

Kara: Wait until Sophie hears you lasted an entire half hour ;)

Kate: Just hold off telling her for about fifteen years or so, I don’t think we’re ready to live in a world where I can tolerate this for an entire thirty minutes yet

Kara: lol ok

Years later when she eventually ends up taking after her cousin and having a couple of orphans with her name on them she insists to Sophie that it’s Kara’s fault because “that time she made me hold her kid for half an hour did something to me I just know it”, Kara pops in one day after hearing this and just goes “You’re welcome~” before flying off again

And finally-

Kara: Lena honey I think Kira is a little too young to be getting her first suit tailored...

Lena: But she’s already a year old...???

#supercorp #supergirl #kara danvers #kara zor el #lena luthor #kate kane #barry allen #clark kent #ficlet #headcanon #not!fic

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therukurals · 3 years

Text

Tagged by the very cool @dingyuxi (thanks fam!)

and tagging some mutuals off the top off my head no pressure! @melonatures, @deokmis @gimme-a-chocolate @forursmiles @digimoo @junghaesin @rain-hat @mockingjaypin @roarofalannister @seongwu

1. What is the color of your hairbrush? I have a couple, but one is red/black, one is blue, and the other white/gray

2. Name a food you never eat. Okra, my mom promised me I’d grow out of my distaste but im 26 and its still no

3. Are you typically too warm or too cold? too cold I am a tropics baby i thrive in heat (i know i live in the midwest)

4. What were you doing 45 minutes ago? trying to unclog our pipes with a bladder and some amateur plumbing

5. What’s your favorite candy bar? uhhh, anything chocolate but the kinder bueno ones

6. Have you ever been to a professional sports game? A couple, mainly basketball and went to one american football game because bb bro was too young to go by himself and i just sat and read a book

7. What is the last thing you said out loud? My roommate and I are dealing with a plumbing issue and trying to fix it and I have a call soon so I said let’s pause and come back to it later.

8. What is your favourite ice cream? Green tea followed closely by coffee.

9. What was the last thing you had to drink? Water

10. Do you like your wallet? Yeah, i like its. its long and solid

11. What is the last thing you ate? a chocolate chip cookie

12. Did you buy any new clothes last weekend? lol no

13. What’s the last sporting event you watched? uhhhh idk, not an actual match but i think some mbappe highlights?

14. What is your favorite flavor of popcorn? ooooo classic butter or kettle.

15. Who is the last person you sent a text message to? uh it was a group chat with my colleagues

16. Ever been camping? Yeah, when I was young. It wasnt straight camping it was at a site and it was with my girl scout troop lmao

17. Do you take vitamins? not regularly, sometimes some vitamin c if im feeling a little throat something coming up or iron before i donate blood

18. Do you regularly attend a place of worship? Not in a religious way? and when you do community organizing/work you are in a lot of churches and they always pray at the neighborhood association meetings.

19. Do you have a tan? lmaooooo. i am blessedly melenated and usually get a nice tan but its winter and lockdown so ive lost some of that :_;

20. Do you prefer chinese or pizza? lmao im with sam on this question, i dont like this question cause its a false equivalency and definitely chinese because the options??? and chinese food is so good???

21. Do you drink your soda through a straw? uhhh....not really? usually in a glass or in a bottle.

22. What color socks do you usually wear? girl whatever socks i get, they range from black to white to pink to gray they dont match 90% of the time

23. Do you ever drive above the speed limit? wouldnt you like to know

24. What terrifies you? on a philosophical level seeing my loved ones hurt and failure. more physically? frogs freak me out, people in easter bunny costumes, clowns, and medieval plague doctors, actually the concept of existing in medieval Europe terrifies me

25. Look to your left, what do you see? im on our large conference table and it has a bunch of stuff but immediately to my life is my phone, some pens, my bullet journal and my copy of “collective courage”

26. What chore do you hate most? Washing dishes!!!! And compost

27. What do you think of when you hear an Australian accent? idk??? steve irwin?

28. What’s your favorite soda? Root beer and vanilla coke

29. Do you go in a fast food place or just hit the drive thru? Drive thrus, because im probably already out and around doing errands.

30. What’s your favorite number? 13

31. Who’s the last person you talked to? My roommate, again about this plumbing issue.

32. Favorite meat? I really dont have a preference tbh, depends how they are prepared

33. Last song you listened to? Do it on the tip by Megan thee Stallion ft the City Girls

34. Last book you read? In the middle of a reread for “Collective Courage: A History of African American Cooperative Economic Thought and Practice.” by Jessica Gordon Nembhard and just starting “Caste: The Origins of Our Discontents “ by Isabel Wilkerson.

35. Favorite day of the week? Saturday

36. Can you say the alphabet backwards? maybe if i tried really hard but im not going to try

37. How do you like your coffee? With a little bit of creamer and sugar, like a decent brown color. I like the flavor of coffee so i dont want it too diluted.

38. Favorite pair of shoes? uh, dont really have one but something i can slip in and out of lmao

39. Time you normally get up? around 8/8:30am but in my heart id like to wake up at 10 or 11 ;_;

40. What do you prefer, sunrise or sunsets? Sunsets!!! also sunrises involve me getting up early and im not doing that hell no

41. How many blankets on your bed? Two since its winter, a comforter and a thick wool one.

42. Describe your kitchen plates super basic white round plates.

43. Describe your kitchen at the moment messy, we havent been able to wash our dishes because of the plumbing issue so hopefully that can be fixed today

44. Do you have a favorite alcoholic drink? mmmmm, idk? i have grown to like a good whiskey, usually a bulleit bourbon or this one bourbon w get from a local distillery. really any dark liquors, i will not do beer that shits dissssssgusting

45. Do you play cards? not regularly and i have tried to learn how to play eucher and spades and each time ppl explain it to me i forget it the next day and i just dont have that kind of brain capacity.

46. What color is your car? uh.....so i live in a commune basically lmao and we share vehicles so i personally dont own one but the couple i share with some other folks is Black and gold

47. Can you change a tire? Yeah, one unique thing about my parents were they were very fair around gendered roles(especially for south asians), so my mom was strict with my brother around learning how to cook/clean and my dad taught me how to work on cars/maintenance work around the house. so i can change tires/oil/do other car work

48. Your favorite state or province? i really like the pacific northwest and miss it.

49. Favorite job you’ve had? being an instructor for a course on globalization in college! also idk if i can classify what i do now as a “job” because its....unique but that too

#tagged in #long post #and anyone if we talk or are mutuals

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lihikainanea · 4 years

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Vibe of the Week 30/08

Full moon this week kids, on the 2nd. Harvest Moon, so one full of abundance and of reaping the benefits of our labours for the past few months.

Last week we talked about fighting smarter, about finding new ways. Last week we had a lot of the universe on our side, and I interpreted it as like...that’s such a plus for us, man. We have power with all those Majors on our side.

Let me be the first to say that I think it was actually probably the universe fortifying our resilience, because I don’t know about any of you, but I got pummelled last week. Got the absolute shit kicked out of me. By the time Friday rolled around I was defeated, crawling on all fours, begging for mercy.

In any case, the Oracle this week is the Nocturna one and the Tarot is the Anima Mundi deck, both by Megan Wyreweden.

The Oracle card of the week is Lavender.

The affirmation: Rest is as important as the fight. We cannot live in a state of being constantly ready for battle, we need rest, we need to clam our minds in order to be stronger.

Words to meditate on: Rest, calm, serenity, peace of mind.

Oh, cool. So the universe kicked our asses last week, and this week it’s all relaaaaaaaaax bro :-)))))). Jesus. Alright, let’s see what the actual Tarot has, but the overall energy of the Oracle seems to denote that we know we need to rest. But that we feel guilty for doing so--because it’s about the hustle, you know? It’s always about the hustle. Keep moving forward, adapt or die, fight or die. This reminds us that going full throttle on everything ends in only one way: burnt out, and nowhere near our goal, and consequently sidelined for a much longer period.

So basically, the universe took us for all 10 rounds last week and wouldn’t let us tap out, but now--the kind soul it is--it’s handing us an ice pack.

Gee, thanks.

The spread:

1) Two of Wands

2) Seven of Cups

3) Knight of Pentacles (reversed)

4) Page of Wands

5) Seven of Pentacles

Overarching energy: King of Pentacles

Ah, the warning of the Oracle presenting itself in the spread. Interesting. Basically, kids--we’re teetering on a fucking total burnout. Anybody been feeling that way lately? Yeah well, it’s not just in your head. You’re gunnin’er full throttle and you’re not stopping, and you need to stop.

The overarching energy of the King of Pentacles reminds us that stability is key here, building a solid foundation, and that the end is near--so now is not the time to go all fucking apeshit about anything. Steady pace, you’re on the verge of completing whatever incredibly taxing task you have on hand, and if you stay reasonable about it then it will bing balance, financial stability. The King of Pentacles--he’s the sugar daddy, you know? He’s rich and he’s stable. A source of clam, a source of confidence. He’s BFF!Bill in tarot card form. This energy is within our grasp, and we need to embody it in order to launch ourselves over this last little hill before we can relax.

There’s...there’s movement in this spread. We have two Wands cards, and the two here is picking us up by our bootstraps. Maybe a spark of an idea hit you lately, and you’re not sure if it’s the right path. It seems like a lot of work. We’re tired. People are tired. We don’t know if we’ll be met with ridicule and heartache if we pursue this.The Two of Wands can represent a choice--and usually, a good one--but the two following cards are giving me pause.

Now is not the time. This idea sparking you, this thing that is nagging at you to get going--keep that passion, but this thing has to wait. Now is not the time.

The Seven of Cups is the indecisive motherfucker that we all have in our lives. For most people, I am that indecisive motherfucker that they have in their lives. I will spend all week talking about one specific dish at a restaurant that I have a craving for, a dish that I NEED, I will rope people in to coming with me--and then I will totally order something else. I’m that asshole.

Look, the Seven of Cups is like...you’re on acid, man, and there are just so many bright lights in front of you. There’s a lot of excitement, but you can’t narrow down the focus on anything. And this new thing or this new idea that has you excited--it’s real, yes it’s real, but it’s just a little stronger right now and you’re giving it a little more credit than it should get because you’re...bored. I’m sorry. I know this sounds harsh. But you’re bored in the way that the entire human population is bored right now--we are restless. We are stuck in the same cycle. The Knight of Pentacles is a card of meticulousness, steadfastness--in reverse it is mildly chaotic, it is restlessness, it is feeling stuck in that routine. And when you’re stuck in a routine, you tend to want to throw yourself at whatever spark you see because it’s EXCITING. What you feel is real, and maybe this is indeed for you--but with your heart kind of a mess, and coming from a place of boredom or despair, this is not the right way to go about it.

The Page of Wands tells us to wait--we know how to feel passion, how to feel truly excited about something--and that’s coming. It’s on its way. The Page of Wands is the ever-eager student, the one bristling with curiosity and unbridled enthusiasm--wait until you start to embody this energy, this true curiosity--and then you can pursue. The Seven of Pentacles reiterates this thought--slow growth, patience, investment. Perseverance.

Slow and steady wins the race. Reel your heart and your mind in, and wait. Now is time to rest. Hold onto the spark that you feel, but wait until you’re in a better mindset to grab it by the balls and call it daddy. It will still be there when you are ready, but in a form that is MUCH easier for you to receive.

Not everything that appears in front of us is ours. Sometimes we need to let it pass us by, we need to grow and evolve and cultivate our own spirit and will, and then when we open our eyes--what is truly meant for us will be there, ready to be seized.

TL;DR: calm the fuck down, now is not the time to do the thing. Just fuckING RELAX.

#tarot

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chyrstis · 4 years

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I won’t ask for much (but just this once, I’d like you) 2/10

Updates for this’ll probably come every couple of days or so, and I’m already bracing myself for a third wave of edits to come. But here’s the next part, and Sharky, I’m sorry about the skunk, but you were the one to mention it to begin with. ...And the resulting idea was too entertaining to pass up.

Pairing: Sharky Boshaw x John Seed Rating: E (but only for Ch. 10, the rest are a solid T) Word Count: 4.3K

Link to AO3!

Ch. 1 / Ch. 2 / Ch. 3 / Ch. 4 / Ch. 5 / Ch. 6 / Ch. 7 / Ch. 8 / Ch. 9 / Ch. 10

—

Sharky steals a boat. It just happens to be John’s boat, and when it’s damaged along with his boathouse, John proceeds to lay out a means of having Sharky pay him back. [No Cult AU]

———–

It took two and a half days to tear the old boathouse down.

John hadn’t lied when he mentioned wanting him to get in there and take it apart piece by piece, and hovered over him the entire time.

The whole monitoring bit was easily the part that annoyed him the most. Like he was waiting for him to screw up. To somehow find a way to take the already burnt building and set it on fire again through force of will alone. Which, while badass, was well out of his means, all the wishing and praying he’d sometimes do to monkey Jesus aside.

But that didn’t stop John from acting like he had the ability. Riding him further during smoke breaks, or barking order after order at him from the sidelines.

Every other word out of his mouth was a correction. To tell him to go back to read the blueprints again. To check his measurements. To put out that cigarette, pry out that misplaced nail, and to use some of that delicacy he kept on going back to, making Sharky’s eyes want to roll back into his head.

And music? The one time he’d tried to bring any levity to the situation with the soothing sounds of disco, John put an end to it immediately. Really just made it clear how much of a drag he wanted to be, and only wanted to push the point home.

Seeing as John was some big-shot lawyer, he really expected him to have more to do than nitpick and lord this whole thing over him. Like he’d stick around for a few weeks, use the time to get off on whatever power trip he was having over this, and then go back to bugging the department, the local businesses, Nick, shit, anyone.

But John Seed was also petty as fuck.

Local gossip hadn’t painted the guy as a kind or forgiving figure, and while the Seeds as a whole were alright at best and fucking weird at worst, over the past couple of years John had picked up a rep as a colossal asshole all on his own.

Tickets? Contested. Special orders down at the store or for parts? Made with specific instructions that needed to be followed to the letter. If not, he’d demand and get his money back, damning everyone with the fine print others would skim over.

Hell, Sid, one of the guys that worked down at the cattle ranch, had traded paint with him once. He’d done so while stopping at the general store, and hadn’t paid much mind to the fancy car parked in the lot, getting just close enough to leave a small scuff on the rear bumper.

In those cases, a person would trade numbers, or see what they could buff off before moving on, 'cause insurance claims were a pain in the ass, and half of the cars in the county were a little late on renewing registrations anyway. Shit, he was coming up on a year, and hoping to see how much longer he could go before any of the Deps cottoned on to it.

But no, the minute John caught on, Sid recalled the glint he got in his eye. Then told him he’d slap him with the largest fine possible for both the damage and the late reg. All over trading paint. Not major damage, not even a busted tire.

Just paint.

Sid was still spitting mad about it, months after the fact.

He’d even pulled a fast one when it came to setting up big bro Joe’s compound. Digging up some obscure property laws all but guaranteeing the land could be sold to them.

No, no one earned the title of mega-dick by being sweet and accommodating. His bro had smoothed over a lot of ruffled feathers by being pretty okay after that, even with all of the converts chilling the fuck out on his property, but John was still John.

And now he personally had that shit to deal with. Today, two days from now, and who knew how many weeks or months after that.

So much for those chicks wanting and keeping his number too. Hurk told him he’d snagged at least one number on the way back to their drop off, but when he’d tried to call them back the other day he got no answer. Ghosted him like it was nothing, and he guessed he deserved that.

What with getting himself caught and left to doing whatever the hell John wanted for as long as John wanted.

“As per our agreement,” John would remind him, whenever he felt the point needed pushing.

And he pushed.

Whenever Sharky would drop something, whenever he let his feet drag, whenever he cut something and John was ready to whip out his tape measure.

He pushed, and Sharky shot another prayer up to monkey Jesus, hoping that maybe this would be the day to go Human Torch on the situation. Or at the very least a little Cyclops.

Not today, but he’d try again tomorrow.

But on the days when Sharky was working, it wasn’t always just the two of them. He’d full on expected this whole thing to go on in its own little pocket, with Hurk eventually crashing the party due to a need to bust him out or worse.

The day that Joseph first showed up stood out, for one.

Joseph Seed was kind of like Pastor Jerome. Not his first pick to hang out with, considering they were both on opposite sides here. Of the whole preaching and managing earthly temptations, while not super indulging in the kind of shit that he knew he wanted in his life, period.

It came with the territory, being religious leaders and all that, but when Joseph first rolled in to the county, he’d brought his people with him.

And they were an interesting bunch. The People of Eden’s Gate were some kind of holistic commune where it was pretty hunky-dory roughly ninety percent of the time. The other ten percent was wondering just what to do about the men and women that wanted the simple life. Living humbly while offering help wherever needed.

While their hearts were in the right place, it was pretty boring stuff otherwise, Sharky decided. He’d even considered joining up for the hell of it only until Hurk reminded him that there wasn’t much fucking to be found there. Pretty women, sure, but the kind more focused on spirituality, and less on how many ways they could Clutch Nixon-ify their daily lives.

But Joseph on his own was a different story.

Watching John go from calmly sipping his drink, doubling-down on just how refreshing it was when Sharky happened to push the wheelbarrow past him, to spitting half of it out when Joseph materialized next to him was fucking priceless.

Greeting him warmly, Joseph pulled a sputtering John into a kind-of half-hug gesture, but John’s cool had already been lost, and in front of his entourage too.

Joe’s wife was with him, plus kiddo number one of a baker’s dozen, carrying them up and on her hip as they talked. With them was also a woman dressed in the modest clothes the Peggies stuck to. She wasn’t trying to stand out, but he didn’t need sharp eyes to see how damn pretty she was.

It had to have been a brother thing, Sharky gathered. Embarrassing the shit out of younger siblings seemed almost natural to Joseph, and it might’ve been petty of him too, but watching John try to get his shit back in line in front of all of them was like hitting the jackpot.

So, Sharky kept on working, sneaking looks over at the group every now and then, and at one point gave an awkward wave back whenever they tried acknowledging him. But whenever John glanced his way, Sharky didn’t hide his shit-eating grin. No, it stayed put for the rest of the day.

The next time Joseph came over, however, he didn’t stop by just to say hi. He approached Sharky, ignoring John’s loud protests, and insisted on helping.

He’d get water, and help with any items that needed anchoring, stepping in whenever it looked like Sharky needed another hand. It was the most contact he’d had with the guy outside of the times he’d tried preaching at the Eagle, and outside of that? He was actually pretty okay to be around.

Well, he personally didn’t have a problem with Joe, at least. John’s irritation skyrocketed with every suggestion, especially when Joseph did the impossible. Told him that with a three-person job, you needed three people, and John? John was capable.

“You sure are,” Sharky added, giving him a wicked grin, and John looked mad enough to spit.

But he didn’t say no. Didn’t even try, or attempt it.

Did more than his fair share under the loving supervision of his older bro, and come nightfall, Sharky realized he’d had a damn good day. It was the lightest he’d felt in weeks, and wasn’t about to turn that down. Not when it helped him jump back into things with some extra pep, and the progress was a boost too.

With the actual frame up and the panels and exterior being added piece by piece, Sharky was starting to feel pretty accomplished. Proud even, because he built this. Yeah, he was being needled at every step of the way, but he used his own two hands to get this set up, no one else’s, and at the end of the day could actually see more of this coming together.

If he kept this up, he’d also have some extra skills to add to his repertoire. Might even get a chance to twist Hurk’s arm into trying out that whole ‘building and flipping’ thing that seemed to be hot at the moment, provided he wasn’t here for the next ten years.

But goals. He had goals to work towards and something to show for it, and it was pretty damn nice in the grand scheme of things.

Today, however, John had a guest again. The same Peggie woman as before, holding a basket, flanked by a few other converts.

Full on expecting to see Joe with her, Sharky wondered if he was waiting out in the woods again. Hell, even John was checking the path back up towards his house, looking past her every now and then to see if he’d catch him.

But as the minutes ticked by, and Sharky kept on working, nothing happened. And long after the other Eden’s Gate members had left, the two kept on talking, having what seemed to be a hell of a time going off of the signals they were giving off.

Smiling, laughing. Facing each other directly as they spoke, Sharky had John’s back to him almost completely, which had his eyebrows climbing up.

And judging by the way she was reacting to John in turn, he had to have been turning on the charm. Smiling shyly, twirling her hair around her finger, hell, he’d put money on her being a two-word question away from dropping everything to get a piece of that.

It was annoying as fuck, really. Dry spell or not, watching John pull it off with minimal effort sucked.

Sure, he had a lot of things working for him. The guy was loaded, for one. Had more than enough money to net himself a fancy car, his large-ass ranch, and a plane. He’d also had a boat up until Sharky had wrecked it, but that was beside the point. Man had more money than sense, and worked the slick lawyer angle for all it was worth. He’d listened in on enough convos to know just how many women in the county dug it. Shit, men too.

Plus the whole property on the water was a real panty dropper. At least going off of what his Auntie had said shortly after John had first bought it, gossiping with Sharky about the costs and expenses that came with it.

Then she promptly turned the talk on its head by launching into talking about John’s ass instead.

His drink hadn’t stayed in his mouth for long, and she’d dropped her forlorn sighing long enough to tell him not to stain the carpet. That he had to hear and think about John’s ass at all wasn’t fucking fair, especially since he was pretty damn sure it wasn’t that much of a draw to begin with. He’d checked.

Whenever John’s back was turned towards him, he’d sneak a look to see what the deal was only to be disappointed. Better asses were walking around Hope County right this moment, his included, but good luck trying to argue that with her. Or even get three words in edgewise before wanting to slap some sense into himself.

Besides, John’s eyes were better. Hands down, Sharky knew they’d been his ticket to pound town on more than one occasion, needing only to show them off and say a few fancy words to seal any kind of deal.

Dropping the wood onto the ground, he crouched down low. Stared at the wood grain of the plank to clear his mind a little before shifting his attention back towards John.

Shit, were they still talking?

He rolled his eyes. Whatever John was saying couldn’t have been that good, and any joke? Nowhere near funny enough to get a giggle like that.

At that time, John turned, giving him a look over his shoulder as Sharky became well aware of two sets of eyes on him. The woman for one, and the pretty boy lawyer that had been eating up every last shred of her attention until now.

A cross between smug and expectant, John gestured towards him.

Well?

Sharky knew three ways to tell someone to get fucked, but picked the least subtle one just in case.

Shocked for a second, John closed his mouth. But soon after, he pressed a hand to his chest, looking hurt. It was pretty convincing, making Sharky feel for a moment that he’d done something shitty like kicked a puppy.

Shame it didn’t reach his eyes. Or match the sharp smile that crept in.

“Smug-ass, smirking fuckface,” Sharky muttered, throwing the wooden plank to the side.

But not even that stuck around either. No, John flashed his pearly whites at the woman with him too, making her melt right in front of them.

Salt in the motherfucking wound. That’s what it all was, but lucky for him he only had a few more hours left to go. Then he could go home, get in a kickass shower and see what Hurk was doing.

Standing up, he wiped his face down with his handkerchief. If this had been anytime during the summer he would’ve been dying, but at least the weather was working in his favor. The breeze took the edge off just enough, and he closed his eyes for a few seconds to soak it all in.

“Oh, Charlemagne?”

Grating right on his ears, the pitch John used never failed to make him want to grind his teeth together. That, and saying his name. Kept on doing that well after being told he could call him Sharky. Shit, even his grandma used it sparingly.

“What?”

“Shouldn’t you be focusing over there-“ John froze, and all smugness vanished.

That put him on edge. “Yo, you wanna expand on that, amigo?”

Slowly turning around, Sharky caught the small creature on the ground and felt every hair on him stand on end. Black and white, and assuming the posture any pissed off animal would, it stood tall for its small size with its tail up, ready and aiming right at him.

Skunks, though, had never liked him. Guess he’d earned that after the whole kissing one bit. So, staring down what he was sure had to be some distant relative out for revenge, he did what came naturally.

Yelled. Loudly, and might’ve sealed his fate right then and there.

Hit, but not in the eyes – thank Hurk’s monkey Jesus for that – he sprinted down towards the river and dove right in.

Grabbing his cap, he kept it in hand as he bobbed back up to the surface. The smell hit as he gulped down air, and he furiously paddled away from the shore when he realized he’d been followed.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck!”

This was fucking bonkers, and it was only getting worse.

Could skunks swim? Did they have a sense for it, or was he getting played by the only one able to? Was this the moment some poor guy was going to have to act out in the movie about his life? Swimming out, smelling to high heaven as a rich asshole laughed it up from the shore?

Fuck, he hoped to hell not, 'cause he’d lived an okay life up ‘til now. And having that be the moment he’d be known for immortalized up on the silver screen was just lousy at best.

Looking back, he watched as the skunk gave him the evil eye for a minute, pacing back and forth as it thought about shooting at him again. Little fucker wasn’t done yet, but couldn’t fire another round off from where it was.

John on the other hand, was watching the whole thing develop from a distance. He hadn’t taken off, but wasn’t laughing like he thought he would either. If anything, his gaze was sharp as he aimed it over at the skunk camping him out, and kept it set in place as he approached the boathouse.

Whatever the hell he had in mind, Sharky hoped he’d do it, and do it fast.

Shit, if he ended up zapped too, that’d also make his week, but for now he needed to keep swimming, and tried to see if he could make his way back towards land. His arms and legs weren’t tired, but the water wasn’t getting any warmer, and this was more of a workout than he’d planned for.

The skunk did not let up, following his drift.

“Seriously? Don’t you got something better to get up to?”

No, it didn’t, and he paddled harder hoping to get some kind of a lead on it. Kicked enough with the intent of making a break for it as soon as he hit land.

Maybe he could shimmy up a tree? Nah, he’d be a sitting duck, worse off there than here. Get back to his car on the way? His keys were swimming in his pocket right now, along with-

Aw, dammit. There went that phone. Sputtering into the water, he coughed around the word that would’ve come out otherwise, then gave it up to keep on swimming.

On the edge of the shore, he dragged himself up and out and booked it. Didn’t see anything waiting for him, but didn’t waste time either. Just hit the nearest patch of tall bushes and stayed low.

Waiting was the worst part. Waiting, listening, and trying not to make too much noise on his end. Every branch, twig, and leaf was the enemy now, and he wasn’t about to let that skunk get the drop on him again.

Five minutes passed. Then ten.

Loud squeaking sounded off in the distance, and he poked his head out from the bush.

Scanning left and right, Sharky checked for black and white. That and movement. When neither seemed to be present, he pushed his way forward and stepped out into the open.

Letting out a slow breath, he shook his hat out and slipped it back on. Then took in a tentative sniff as he raised his arm. The smell hung around him like a cloud, and getting a bigger whiff of it only made him want to gag.

Peeling the shirt off, he wrung it out, and gave it a smell as well. Now that made his eyes water. With his luck his jeans were just as bad, and he didn’t bother checking. Just pulled them off to get some of the water out of them too, and resigned himself to drip-drying the rest of the day outdoors.

“Charlemagne? You can come out now!”

John. Guess he’d found a way to deal with it after all.

“Come out, come out, wherever you are!”

“Ugh, fucker. Took him long enough.” Groaning to himself, he slung his wet clothes over his shoulder and started heading towards the clearing.

“Well, there you…are?” John gave him a quick once over as he walked past, and pursed his lips. “Hmm.”

The woman with him didn’t even try to make eye contact. Just kept her attention directed elsewhere, her cheeks tinted red.

Great. Not that he was trying, but his odds of getting even a pity look in passing had all but tanked.

“Yo, I don’t wanna know what you did, but after that? My bullshit meter’s maxed, so fuck off.”

Prying his keys out of his pocket, Sharky unlocked the trunk of his car and threw the clothes into the back of it. Between the gas cans and propane tanks he’d thrown back there often enough, skunk wasn’t going to add much to the smell in there.

“Fuck off? That’s not very kind, all things considering.”

The trunk dropped, and he might’ve used more force than necessary. “Kind?”

“Not even a thank you?” John eyed him from a distance, smug, but only for a second. “After chasing off your little tormentor? Such a shame, really.”

“That I ain’t feeling, what? Warm gratitude towards you right now? Like happy and fuzzy shit?”

John scoffed. “Hardly.”

“'Cause you’re making a whole lot of noise for nothing, and I wouldn’t be out here busting my ass at all without you to begin with.”

“Oh, my dear Charlemagne,” he watched as John withdrew a blue handkerchief from his jean pocket, and held it up to his face to cover his nose, “I’m hardly the one at fault here.”

His patience snapped like a brittle twig. Rattling off words as fast as they came to him, Sharky scraped for the bottom, tried actively to come up with the most out of bounds targeted insults he could conjure up just to see if he could wipe what he was sure was a smirk right off of John’s face.

Then nearly crashed into the woman who had stepped into his path. Making full-on eye contact now, she gave him a hesitant, but soft smile. “I think this might help.”

In her hands was a towel. A nice, fluffy one, and she held it out towards him.

The anger drained out of him as he stared at her. Almost as if someone took an ice bucket and dumped it right over his shoulders.

Gingerly taking it, Sharky let it dangle in the air between them. “Uh, thanks?”

“Of course. For anyone in need, and you certainly seemed to be. Considering your lack of…clothing in general right now.”

Still had the underwear on, at least. Blushing five different shades of red, he quickly wrapped the towel around himself. “Yeah, um, thank you again, miss.”

She nodded, and headed back towards John. “We’ll be heading out, but can we expect you at mass later tonight?”

John lowered the handkerchief just enough for Sharky to catch the frown. “If work allows it. There’s still a lot left to do here, but you can let Joseph know I’ll try.”

Sharky pulled up a corner of the towel to wipe his face, no longer able to hear much of what was traded between them. Lady hadn’t even flinched at the smell up close, and the towel was a nice one. Nicer than any of the kind he had at home, and must’ve been in the basket she had with her.

Yeah, got that pity look after all. Great.

Staring down at his feet, he removed his cap to run a hand through his hair. The hushed voices behind him eventually stopped, and by the time John walked over he’d switched to looking out over the water.

“That was interesting.”

“Sure,” Sharky said, tired of arguing with him.

“And there went our progress for the afternoon. At least the morning wasn’t a complete waste, but our guest derailed us thoroughly. And I don’t believe you have a change of clothes, do you?”

Sharky rubbed his shoulder, and felt it twinge in response as he moved it. He badly needed a cigarette, and was desperate enough to see how many times it’d take for a wet one to actually light.

“Do you?”

“Look, I get what you’re asking. And no, I’d have-“ John raised the handkerchief again, and the words died in his mouth. “You know what? Forget it. And if you’re looking to avoid this shit, don’t stand downwind of it. Basic Scouting 101 right there.”

Sharky whipped the towel off and threw it at him.

John snatched it out of the air, keeping it from smacking him in the face. “Leaving?”

Not bothering to check behind him as he approached his car, Sharky flashed him the finger.

“You can take this with you, you know.”

That John didn’t take the bait, or fight him on it, only irritated him further. He also seemed to be following him, and Sharky scowled at him. “Don’t need it.”

John sighed, and put away the cloth. “Charlemagne, it’s a towel, and you’re still soaking wet.”

“And maybe I want the draft to help dry the swamp ass brewing here, okay?” he shot, climbing in behind the wheel. “And if you wanna give me shit for cutting out early, tack on more hours as a penalty, whatever, I’ll deal with that next time. Or, hell, the time after, as long as it doesn’t mean I’m still standing here talking any of this shit with you. That work?”

The thin line John had pressed his lips into told him otherwise, but he said nothing. Just crossed his arms before holding out the towel to him one last time.

Sharky hit the gas and didn’t look back.

#far cry 5 #sharky boshaw #john seed #john seed/sharky boshaw #the skunk bit was actually going to be later in the fic in the original planning #but the outline was thankfully a flexible thing #b/c it fit so much better here #FC5 fanfiction #fanfiction #fic: I won't ask for much #fic series: we could make a home out of this

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unproduciblesmackdown · 4 years

Note

every other even starting at 4!

lmaooo ty i was like “uh oh, Evens but also Alternating Ones?? can i remember both things” and well the answer would’ve been Yes anyways, but then i was like oh right that’s like. multiples of 4.........it’s a dubious if i can put “took a lot of math classes and i’m decent at math, i think” in that Talents question later on lol

4: What’s your favorite part of the day?

it depends lol....i’ve got that night owl thing going on so like maybe 10p - 4am are my Peak Hours probably like, naturally......but not like i hate daylight......Evening in summer months is good like. shit isn’t plummeting into darkness in 2 min after 2 hrs of shitty lighting like in winter......

8: How does someone become important to you?

idk it’s Not Hard but also it is lmao like. we just keep regularly interacting and we vibe? Bro......We Are Friends

12: What can you spend forever talking about?

lmaooooo so many things. like, generally i can just spend Forever Talking b/c irl (and to an extent online lol) i am a chatterbox. very rarily In Practice though b/c i have to be around ppl i want to / am comfortable just talking freely with. but i’ll like, leap on whatever opportunity to talk about some shit i’m interested in / it having already been Brought Up.....amazing restraint from me sometimes when maybe an acquaintance makes a tweet and i Could come crashing in with comments but i refrain

16: What is something you really want?

stares at hands.....big question......but i never have like 5 Year Plan / or many super Concrete specific things, and there’s a lot going on right now so it’s like, as step one, i think i and all of us want to Not be in a pandemic

20: Have you ever had a dream that made you wonder if it was actually a memory?

not that i know of (i.e. didn’t forget lol) cuz the only time my dreams really Draw From Life very directly is like “here’s some Anxiety Scenario dreams” or the location is a school i went to and stuff like that

24: Have you ever met someone you never thought you’d become close to?

i mean there’s been people i’ve been like “i’m not interested in interacting with this person” and then Not had a close relationship with lol but if the implication for this is “and then you Did become close to them, despite your expectations” it’s like.......no not really lmao. ppl have to talk to me for like weeks or months before i realize like “oh right, they’re probably doing that b/c they like you / want to” so it can’t really sneak up on me lol

28: Do you ever make impulsive decisions?

if i’m in a group or w/e i’m never trying to make decisions but if it’s just me yeah i can make kinda impulsive decisions lol.....usually just in wild ways like “hmm i want to do [whatever] so here i go doing it”

32: If you could go back in time and re-live your life up to this point, knowing everything that you know now, would you make different decisions?

really i just wouldn’t mess with the timeline lol......maybe about some smaller details but even then. i could say like “oh i could learn a language” lol but that’s asking an elementary schooler to like, take that initiative or w/e

36: Favorite book quote(s)?

well i haven’t even read the book but i guess my catchphase Invoked Book Quote is the “anger is a type of geography” one, the full quote of which i Saved just so that i could conveniently invoke it in full whenever i mention it:

Anger is a type of geography. The ways out of it expand the more you love a person. The more forgiveness you might be willing to afford each other opens up new and unexpected roads. And so, for some, staying angry at someone you love is a reasonable option. To stay angry at someone you know will forgive your anger is a type of love, or at least it is a type of familiarity that can feel like love.

and ig it ties into this stance where it’s not like “Never Being In Conflict is the ideal for good relationships” and instead is like “even if you get along with people you like the vast majority of the time, probably conflict just happens in the course of Interacting With Other Humans and can be be viewed as an Opportunity where, in the course of navigating a conflict, a relationship can evolve / improve, and also if you think Zero Conflicts Ever is the definition / goal of the Best relationships you’re going to avoid even small conflicts with anyone and probably that lack of communication / requiring ppl to trade the discomfort of Conflict / Change for the discomfort of [if you are at all upset about something you have no recourse] where the latter is definitely worse long-term”.................also related to the last time i Dropped This Quote, for some reason the other day i was remembering the story lauren told about her and will’s tiff unfolding behind the scenes of a performance......rip to how yeah i’m sure it wasn’t fun but the Funny-After-The-Fact Story sure is charming re: like oh all these friends having and getting past fights and etc lmao and in conclusion i rly ought to rewatch the bwayjackbox bmc reunion lol..........also despite me talking about “so great when people Can Be Mad at each other” at length here i’m not raring to brawl with you guys or anything lmao.....

40: What makes you feel confident?

idk lol like there’s always “when you wear an outfit you like” but my outfits are like “shorts and a tee” so it’s not hard. although sometimes it’s like, well my comfortable shirts that are about like “I’m Gay” or sm shit, layers there. would i get a Boost from wearing the Lgw tee?? probably, b/c it’s like, yeah out here subtly caping for wroland really and his amazing solo number, etc......time will tell. still storing that away for Worthy Occasions that aren’t just like [me sweating into it] lmao. also when you’re around other lgbtq people in person even if they’re strangers it’s like hell yeah just overall Stats Boost

44: Do you consider yourself talented?

i mean ppl get Talented through spending a lot of time on Whatever and like, wanting to put that attention and effort into it.......like, i’ve done some cooking / baking just In My Life and so i’m hardly an expert but i’ve got like, some solid knowledge of what i’m doing i think lmao......practiced ballet for a little over a decade and i ended up decent at that........my Ability To Draw is solid for what i want out of it (which is just me: drawing gay niche shit for the self-indulgence of it) and that got a boost from like, i just had a tendency to mess around drawing shit all the time as a kid / took some art classes in like elementary school, did a lot of painting tho lol i’m not great at colors.....damn took art classes in college too i guess, i forget about that. but really drawing-wise the real Experience i got was like, realizing a decade ago like “hey i can just make and share self-indulgent niche gay fanart” so that was my motivation and i’ve been somewhat regularly making stuff the whole time.......the talent of Befriending Cats lol but that’s just “just be chill with them”

48: Have you ever started to try learning about a subject only to realize it’s not something you enjoy?

not really lmao cuz like i’m out here barely ever starting to try to learn a subject that i Do enjoy

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1heartsickfics · 5 years

Text

The motion disaster

This one is loosely (very loosely) based on something that happened with my boyfriend 3 or 4 years ago, but this is quite a bit exaggerated and I took a lot of liberties with it so it’s mostly made up. Enjoy! (Also this turned out to be really really long so sorry about that)

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“Hey Andy?” Zayn asked, walking up behind his boyfriend who was talking to a group of people in their choir class. They were currently finishing up their last day on choir tour in San Francisco.

“What up babe?” Andrew asked, scooting over to allow Zayn into their circle. Zayn shook his head, shying away and moving to stand behind Andrew again. He frowned, turning around to look at Zayn.

“Hey, you okay?” he asked quietly.

“I uh, well I-I,” he stammered, sighing, “I’m not feeling so hot.”

“Oh no Z,” Andrew frowned, automatically reaching up to place his hand on Zayn’s forehead.

“I don’t have a fever,” he said quickly, shooing Andrew’s hand away, his face turning crimson.

“Okay. How about we go somewhere else,” he suggested, wanting to get Zayn away from the crowd of prying eyes.

“We’re gonna go grab something to drink, see you guys later,” Andrew told them as he grabbed Zayn’s hand, pulling him away from the crowd. He figured his boyfriend would feel better knowing that they wouldn’t be gossiping about him as soon as they left. Zayn let Andrew lead him across the boat to one of the benches toward the bow.

“What’s wrong Z?” he asked, sitting down next to him.

“My stomach, it-,” he paused, wincing, “I don’t think it likes the boat,” he finished.

“You’re seasick,” Andrew breathed out, “we should’ve known” he sighed. Zayn got carsick sometimes and airplanes messed his body up pretty bad too, so of course boats would do the same.

“Probably,” he shrugged.

“Alright, well I don’t have anything on me, which in hindsight was pretty stupid, but we’ll get you some 7up or something to try and settle your tummy and then we will just relax somewhere in the middle of the boat where there maybe isn’t as much motion, I think,” he reasoned.

“I don’t want to get sick,” Zayn whined, leaning his head down onto Andrew’s shoulder.

“I know you don’t, and maybe you won’t. We won’t be out here that long, this trip is just like 2 hours I think and it’s already been thirty minutes probably. So hopefully it’ll be fine,” Andrew said calmly, knowing Zayn had a tendency to get himself worked up when he wasn’t feeling well, especially if there was the possibility of it happening in public.

“I don’t know, I already feel queasy,” he said.

“I’m sorry babe,” Andrew said, “How about I go get you something to drink. Does 7 up sound good if they have any?”

“Yeah,” Zayn nodded.

“Okay, you wait here alright, do you want me to find someone to sit with you?” he asked.

Zayn shrugged, “I’ll be okay.”

“Alright, I’ll be right back,” he said, heading off to find someone to go sit with him. Zayn was too proud to admit it but he didn’t want to be alone right now, he was internally freaking out. He’d already thrown up on the flight here last week, so the last thing he wanted was to go through that humiliation again.

He scanned the deck for one of their friends, someone Zayn wouldn’t mind seeing him in this state. His eyes landed on Julius, standing at the edge of the boat with a few other guys.

“Hey, Jules!” he called, waving him over. He saw Julius say something to the others he was with then walk over to him.

“Hey man what’s up?” he asked.

“So uh Zayn isn’t feeling good, he thinks he’s getting seasick. I’m gonna go try to find him something to drink that might settle his stomach a little but he’s kind of freaked out so I didn’t want him to be alone, would you mind sitting with him for a bit?” he asked.

“Oh, yeah of course,” he agreed, frowning sympathetically.

“Thanks so much Juli, he’s sitting over there,” Andrew gestured to the bench Zayn was slumped over on.

“Did you talk to Nathan? I know he gets kinda seasick too, he might have some tips or medicine or something,” Julius suggested.

“Oh shit you’re right, I forgot about that,” Andrew said.

“I’ll text him,” Julius said.

“Okay, thanks man,” Andrew said, giving Julius a quick pat on the shoulder before heading down to where they were selling food and drinks below deck.

“Hey buddy, heard you weren’t feeling so great,” Julius said as he sat down next to Zayn. He certainly looked rough, his face was pretty pale and starting to take on a greenish tint. That’s never a good sign.

Zayn just shrugged, pressing his lips together in a thin line.

“I’m just gonna sit with you if that’s okay. Let me know if you start feeling worse okay?” Julius said, no stranger to the woes of motion sickness himself. Cars were his main enemy, but long plane rides or boat trips can do him in sometimes as well.

Zayn nodded, seeming content with keeping his mouth shut for the time being.

‘Hey Zayn’s feeling a little motion sick, you have anything?’ he typed a message to Nathan.

‘Yeah hold on, be right there,’ Nathan responded back almost immediately.

A few moments later, Julius saw Nathan walking over to them. He was rummaging around in his backpack, looking for medicine he assumed.

“Hi Z, how you doing?” he asked, coming to sit on his other side.

“Not great,” Zayn mumbled.

“Yeah I know the feeling dude. Here, take some of this, it should help with the nausea,” he said, handing Zayn two small blue pills and a bottle of water. He’d come prepared.

Zayn swallowed the medicine, wincing as the cool water settled uncomfortably in his churning stomach. He felt his eyes watering. He did not want to throw up, not with all these people around.

“Hey, you’re okay,” Nathan said, noticing his friend’s discomfort. “Come here, you can lean on my shoulder and close your eyes. It will help to have something solid and to not be able to see the motion, eliminates one variable,” he explained, having been through this many times himself.

“How’s he doing?” Zayn heard his boyfriend’s soft voice, cracking an eye open to look for him.

“Drew?” he asked.

“Right here babe,” Andrew answered, shaking his head slightly. Zayn is the only one he ever lets call him Drew. Andy is fine, but not Drew, unless it’s Z. “How you feeling?”

“Gross,” Zayn answered, settling for short answers as the longer he had his mouth open for the more it filled with bitter tasting saliva, never a good sign.

“I’m sorry sweetie,” Andrew said, wrapping his arms around Zayn from behind.

Zayn sighed, leaning back against his boyfriend. Unlike Andrew he relished in physical contact when he was feeling ill. Andrew clasped his hands, resting them over Zayn’s uneasy tummy.

“I gave him some medicine, it should kick in pretty soon if he can keep it down,” Nathan told Andrew.

“Okay, thanks,” he nodded, “You got this babe,” he whispered to Zayn, rubbing his tummy lightly, hoping to keep it settled.

“Also, there’s a pressure point right-” he picked up Zayn’s hand, pressing his thumb in to a spot on the base of his palm “here that helps me sometimes. And breathe through your nose, nice and slow. Keep your eyes closed,” he instructed.

Zayn took a slow deep breath, leaning his head back against Andrew and squeezing his eyes shut, trying to focus on anything but the queasy feeling in his stomach. The other three boys sat quietly, watching their friend in concern.

Suddenly Zayn sat up, leaning forwards with one arm wrapped around his middle, “D-Drew,” he gasped, other hand reaching back to fumble for his boyfriend’s shirt.

“Hey, hey I’m right here, you’re okay,” Andrew said, scooting up closer behind Zayn, placing a hand on his back.

“I-I don’t fe-el good,” he stammered, voice shaking. Andrew could see him swallowing compulsively.

“Alright, okay, come on,” Andrew grabbed Zayn’s hand, slowly pulling him up off of the bench and wrapping an arm around him. “Railing or bathroom?” he asked, recognizing the signs.

“Close,” Zayn said, not knowing how far his shaky legs would be able to carry him.

“Deep breaths bro, eyes on the horizon,” Nathan said as Andrew started pulling Zayn over to the side of the boat.

“Here you are, hold on to this,” Andrew said, placing one of Zayn’s hands on the railing. He looped an arm around his boyfriend’s waist to help hold him steady, placing his other hand on his back, rubbing slow circles.

Zayn leaned forwards, pressing his aching stomach into the railing as he leaned over it. The pressure felt strangely good, easing the nausea for just a second. He closed his eyes, taking a forced deep breath as he fought back gags.

“Just let it happen,” Andrew said quietly from behind him.

Zayn burped quietly into his fist, which quickly morphed into a gag. He leaned even farther over the railing, grateful that Andrew was holding onto him, anchoring him to the deck.

“Fuck,” he cursed, spitting into the churning ocean below him.

He gagged again, dry heaving harshly, but nothing came up. His stomach and his throat were both squeezing painfully, trying to force something up but for some reason his body wouldn’t let him.

“Maybe the medicine’s kicking in,” Andrew suggested, pulling him away from the railing.

“Nauseous,” he protested.

“I know, but I don’t think your body is ready to throw up yet,” he said, pulling Zayn to him.

Zayn melted into Andrew’s arms, leaning heavily against his chest. He still felt incredibly sick, but Andrew was right, nothing was coming up.

“Let’s go sit down,” Andrew said, gently pulling him back to the bench Nathan and Julius were still sitting on.

“How’s he doing?” Nathan asked quietly.

“Did he get sick?” Julius asked. Andrew shook his head, sitting Zayn down on the bench. He sat next to him, straddling it to face towards Zayn, who immediately leaned into his chest. Andrew wrapped his arms around the poor sick boy, hoping they’d get off the boat before Zayn got sick. Surely they’re almost back by now.

“Just close your eyes Z, maybe you can fall asleep,” he said quietly, pressing a kiss into Zayn’s messy hair.

Zayn was still for a few minutes, but unfortunately his nausea started to peak again. He groaned, forcing himself to sit up slowly, eyes still closed tightly.

“Z?” Andrew asked, gently rubbing his back as he leaned forwards, arms wrapping around his stomach.

“I’m gonna be sick,” he breathed out, reaching out to grab Andrew’s wrist.

“Okay, you’re alright, come here,” Andrew said calmly, grabbing Zayn’s arm to support him up to standing. He began slowly pulling him back over to the railing as he began to gag. “Just a few more seconds...”

He placed Zayn’s hands on the railing of the boat and instantly he was hunched over, bringing up a mouthful of his stomach contents into the water below.

“Close your eyes sweetie,” Andrew murmured, rubbing Zayn’s back as he burped wetly, bringing up more puke.

“Hnggkkkk,” he heaved again, spitting out mostly water at this point.

“I’m right here,” Andrew said quietly, feeling awful for the poor sick boy.

Zayn let out a sob, finally finished throwing up, and collapsed back against his boyfriend. Andrew helped him sink down to sit on the deck of the boat right where they were standing. He was shaking too much to do any moving at the moment.

Nathan walked over and held out the can of 7up he’d been drinking out of before, handing it to Andrew.

“Think you can stomach something to drink?” Andrew asked, one arm still draped around Zayn’s shoulders.

“Mmm no,” Zayn groaned miserably.

“Okay,” Andrew sighed, “just rest.”

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When the boat docked, Nathan and Andrew helped the shaking boy off, each holding onto an arm. They headed straight for the bus that was waiting to take them back to the hotel for one last night, as they were heading home tomorrow.

Nathan helped Andrew get Zayn settled into a window seat towards the back of the bus before moving to sit in the seat opposite of the aisle, along with Julius. Andrew sat down next to his boyfriend, who had already slumped against the window, eyes closed.

“Hey, come here,” he said, draping his arm around Zayn’s shoulders. He shifted, moving to lean against Andrew instead of the bus.

“How are you feeling?” he asked quietly.

“Honestly, not any better,” Zayn sighed, scooting closer to Andrew as the bus started moving. He groaned, turning to press his face into his boyfriend’s shirt as the bus pulled a sharp U turn to get out of the parking lot. It was at that moment that Andrew realized how unfortunate this was going to be.

“Poor baby,” he pouted, “Close your eyes and try to sleep babe, you’re probably tired.”

“How’s he doing?” Julius asked, leaning over Nathan. They were both watching him.

“Well I just realized that putting the seasick person immediately into another moving vehicle is not the greatest idea necessarily,” he answered quietly.

“Oh. I didn’t think of that,” Julius said, leaning back in his seat.

“You want some dramamine? I gave him something else earlier so he could take some. I have a bottle in my backpack,”

“Yeah, that’d be great. I have some back at the hotel for him on the plane tomorrow but he doesn’t normally get carsick and I didn’t even think about the boat,” he said, then after pausing a beat, “shit the plane tomorrow. He might still feel bad by then too, this is going to be a disaster,’ he groaned.

“Oh shit,” Nathan said as he handed Andrew a tablet of dramamine.

“Here take this love, hopefully it’ll prevent the bus from making you sick too,” he said, handing it to Zayn. He took out his water bottle and swallowed it down, dropping his head down onto Andrew’s shoulder after.

“Fuck I feel like shit,” he breathed out.

“I know love, I’m so sorry. Just try to sleep and hopefully we’ll be there before you know it,” Andrew said, draping his arm over Zayn’s shoulders and ruffling his hair.

“How long?” he mumbled.

“It’s like an hour back to the hotel probably,” Andrew answered.

“Mmph,” Zayn groaned, turning his head to press his face into Andrew’s shoulder.

“You’re okay,” Andrew said softly, carding his fingers through Zayn’s hair. He began humming quietly under his breath, something that always calmed Zayn down.

Zayn stayed still and quiet for about half of the drive before he started to stir, squirming uncomfortably beside Andrew, who had started to drift off to sleep himself.

“Babe,” Zayn groaned quietly, nudging Andrew weakly with his shoulder. He was starting to feel nauseous again, his stomach creeping up his throat. He figured they had 20-30 minutes left and he wasn’t sure he could make it.

“Hmm? What’s wrong love?” Andrew asked tiredly, forcing himself to blink his eyes awake and look at his boyfriend. Zayn was slumped against his side, eyes unfocused, mouth slightly open. Oh no.

“Nauseous,” he grunted shortly, lips pressing together in a thin line. He wasn’t sure what would happen if he kept his mouth open.

“Alright, okay, it’s okay,” Andrew said, fully awake now, and worried about Zayn once again. “Here I’ve got a plastic bag in my backpack somewhere, we’ll get that out just in case yeah?”

“Don’t wanna be sick,” Zayn mumbled, hardly opening his mouth again. Throwing up on the boat had been embarrassing enough, and hardly anyone but his friends and boyfriend had witnessed that. If he got sick now they’re entire group would see it.

“I know you don’t, I don’t want you to either, but your body is a little confused right now, that’s all, and if it needs to get something out there isn’t much you can do about it,” he said sadly, pressing a kiss to Zayn’s forehead.

“Nothing to come up,” he practically whispered.

“Well, you had some water. And the medicine,” Andrew sighed dryly. So much for that idea. “But maybe you better try to take a few more sips,” he suggested, handing Zayn his water bottle. He hoped, in fact, that the water might actually settle his stomach into staying put.

Unfortunately, that was not the case. Quite the opposite actually. As soon as the water his Zayn’s stomach he knew that he’d upset it further. It squeezed painfully, making him lean forwards, hand shooting out to grab the plastic bag off of Zayn’s lap as he felt the water come shooting back up his throat, his stomach churning harshly all the while.

“Oh sweetie,” he heard Andrew say from beside him as he coughed up the water and the medicine that had been apparently futile. He heaved again, gagging harshly as his stomach didn’t have much else to bring up. He spat up a mouthful of bile and bitter tasting stomach acid, cringing at the taste.

He felt Andrew’s hand on his back, rubbing gentle circles. Zayn closed his eyes and tried to focus on that, swallowing hard to try and stop his body from attempting to heave up nothing. It didn’t work.

He gagged harshly again, whole body convulsing with the force of it. Nothing came up.

“Shh love, easy, settle,” Andrew said softly. “Slow deep breaths baby, in through your nose, out through your mouth. Just breathe through it,” he said.

By this point, most of the bus had turned around to stare open mouthed at the spectacle occurring towards the back. Julius and Nathan did their best to shoo away the prying eyes, knowing it would only make their friend feel worse. Thankfully though, Zayn felt too bad to even think about it at the moment.

Zayn forced a shaky breathe out of his mouth, teeth gritted together, fists clenched tightly at his sides. He closed his eyes, slowly leaning to his left to rest against Andrew’s side.

“There you go, you’re okay,” Andrew said, taking the bag out of Zayn’s hand and tying it up to be disposed of when they reached the hotel in a few minutes. It really was a shame that Zayn couldn’t have held out just a little longer, but he obviously had no control over such things.

“Is everyone-? Are they-?” Zayn stammered, feeling the embarrassment creep into his face.

“Nope, no one paid us any mind sweetheart,” Andrew lied. Zayn knew he was lying, and Andrew knew that he knew, but it didn’t matter. Zayn honestly felt too ill by this point to care all that much, so it had been what he’d needed to hear. He could pretend that his boyfriend was telling the truth.

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It had been an agonizing walk down the long hallway and the elevator ride up to the 11th floor had make Zayn feel nauseous all over again, but they’d made it. Andrew had immediately helped his boyfriend into bed and stroked his hair until he fell asleep.

Thankfully he’d slept through the night with no further incidents. However when he woke up, he instantly realized that he still felt BAD. His skin was clammy, his muscles achy, and his stomach was turning.

“Oh hey, you’re awake,” Andrew said from across the room where he was packing up their things.

“Mmph,” Zayn groaned, a failed attempt at saying something, anything. His brain felt foggy. He just felt gross.

“How are you feeling?” Andrew asked, mistaking his boyfriends groan for one of sleepiness.

Instead of answering Zayn let out a sob. He curled up, reaching out blindly for his boyfriend who had immediately dropped the shirt he’d been folding to rush onto the bed.

“Hey, what’s wrong?” he asked, sounding alarmed as he pulled him into his arms, rocking him gently.

“I feel s-sick,” Zayn cried, hands fisting in Andrew’s soft sleep shirt.

“Oh goodness love, still? My poor baby,” Andrew said softly, holding him a little tighter. He pressed a kiss to Zayn’s forehead, subtly trying to feel for a fever. He knew it was possible for motion sickness effects to last for a day or so but he hadn’t actually thought it would happen. But Zayn didn’t feel warm.

“A-andy,” Zayn moaned, curling in on himself even further as he laid in Andrew’s lap.

“I’m right here, shh, settle sweetheart,” he said, tracing his fingers up and down Zayn’s arms to try and calm him down. After resting like that for a few minutes, Zayn seemed to drift back to sleep again. Andrew gently shifted his boyfriend off of his lap and back onto the bed. He kissed his cheek as he slid off, moving to start packing again. They had to leave for the airport in less than an hour after all. Zayn seemed to drift back to sleep again. Andrew

Shit, the airport. If Zayn was still feeling this sick from residual effects of the boat yesterday how bad was he going to feel on an airplane. Shit.

He managed to get them both packed and dressed in time to meet the rest of their group in the lobby. Zayn had hardly been able to drag his suitcase down the hall, draped over Andrew’s shoulder and leaning heavily on him.

“What happened to you guys?” Julius asked when they approached the group.

“He still feels really ill,” Andrew shrugged. Zayn rested his head against Andrew, letting go of his suitcase. Andrew sighed, feeling tired already. It was going to be a long day.

“Here I got it,” Nathan said, grabbing Zayn’s suitcase. “I’ll take it,” he told Andrew, feeling bad for the couple.

“Thanks man, he’s pretty out of it,” Andrew said, ruffling his boyfriend’s hair as he whimpered into his t shirt.

“Don’t feel good,” Zayn muttered.

“I know sweetie,” Andrew sighed, dragging him along as they headed out to the bus.

Andrew helped Zayn get settled into a window seat at the back of the bus before sitting down himself. He got out Zayn’s motion sickness medicine, helping him take them. He gave him one more than he’d usually take, figuring they could use all the help they could get at this point.

However, they barely made it five minutes down the road before Zayn was throwing up in yet another plastic sack.

“Alright there you go, just get it out,” Andrew said, rubbing his boyfriend’s back as he gagged and spit into the bag, heaving unproductively. Well. So much for medicine.

“Fuck,” Zayn gasped before belching up a mouthful of bitter tasting saliva and bile.

“Aw jeez dude,” Andrew heard Nathan murmuring sympathetically from beside them.

“Shh, you��re okay,” Andrew said softly, brushing Zayn’s long hair out of his eyes and offering him the bottle of water he’d brought once Zayn finally stopped heaving.

Zayn took a small, slow sip, shakily handing the bottle back to Andrew, who was literally holding him up by this point.

“Here I got it,” Nathan said, reaching over to grab the bottle and screw the cap back on. Andrew gave him a grateful smile, his hands were full from keeping Zayn upright.

“Would you feel better if you were kind of laying down?” Andrew asked.

“Dunno,” Zayn slurred miserably, tears streaming down his cheeks.

“Just come here,” Andrew said, deciding to give it a shot. He scooted over as much as he could, helping Zayn lower himself down into his lap, legs curled up on the seat next to the window. “There you go, try to relax.”

Zayn managed to make it to the airport without throwing up again, but he felt horridly nauseous. His stomach was churning and roiling unhappily, forcing wet sounding burps up his throat every few minutes.

“My tummy is so upset,” Zayn moaned as Andrew helped him off of the bus.

“I know baby, just hold on for a few minutes and we’ll get you some more medicine,” Andrew told him, pulling his arm around his shoulders to hold him up while also grabbing their luggage. Fortunately Nathan and Julius helped him carry Zayn’s suitcase and backpack.

“God what the hell kind of motion sickness is this?” Andrew asked Nathan as they trudged inside.

“Are you sure he’s not sick?” he asked.

“I mean he doesn’t have a fever,” Andrew shrugged.

“We just need to get him home,” Julius said, looking sadly at the miserable boy draped on Andrew’s arm.

They dragged him through security and to their gate, both boys collapsing into a seat tiredly. Getting a very tired, ill person through security is not the easiest thing in the world that’s for sure.

“You’re right, it definitely is motion sickness. He only throws up when he’s moving, he just still feels sick in between. It’s like the boat messed him up so bad that his body hasn’t had time to adjust and re establish equilibrium,” Julius explained, always the smart one.

“Yeah, which is why this is going to suck,” Andrew said, gesturing to the plane sitting outside their gate.

Andrew quickly got the Dramamine back out, helping Zayn take 2 more pills with a couple swigs of water. He went ahead and gave him some ibuprofen and a tums as well since he was so miserable. Not to mention what was ahead.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Boarding class 3 for flight 323 now,”

“That’s us guys,” their sponsor announced, standing up and grabbing his suitcase.

“Well. Here goes nothing,” Andrew sighed, nudging Zayn. Zayn was draped across his lap again, thankfully having managed to fall asleep, or at least close to it. He shifted around occasionally, moaning and whimpering in his sleep, but he hadn’t thrown up again since getting off of the bus. But he knew that the next several hours on this plane were going to be miserable. “Wake up sweetie,” he said sadly, jostling him as gently as he could.

“Hmm, wha-?” Zayn mumbled sleepily.

“It’s time to get on the plane,” Andrew said. “Can you sit up for me?”

Zayn frowned, grabbing the back of the chair to pull himself up, Andrew’s hands pressing into his back to help him. It wasn’t until he was sitting up, and a little more awake, that he realized how bad he felt.

“Fuck,” he breathed out, leaning forward, head in hands.

“Babe, hey, I know you don’t feel good, but we really gotta go now okay?” Andrew stood up, grabbing his and Zayn’s backpack, slinging them over his shoulders, before grabbing the handle of his suitcase. Thankfully Nathan was still hanging onto Zayn’s for them.

“Mmhmm,” Zayn groaned, letting Andrew pull him up to his feet by his forearms. Andrew wrapped an arm around his waist and began maneuvering him toward the entrance to the plane. Zayn sagged tiredly against Andrew’s side, head dropping down onto his shoulder.

“Ticket please,”

Andrew fumbled to hand her both his and Zayn’s tickets, stuffing them back into his wallet after she handed them back. She gave him a sympathetic look as they passed. Andrew knew they were probably a sight for sore eyes, they were surely making a spectacle of themselves. All he cared about right now was getting his poor boyfriend home though.

With some help from Nathan and Julius, he managed to get them both into their seats, luggage stashed overhead. He’d taken the middle seat, next to Nathan, giving Zayn the aisle in case he needed to... you know.

Thankfully the plane was quick in loading the rest of the passengers and backing away from the gate. The faster this all happened the better. If they could just make it through this plane ride they’d be in the clear. Well, that’s not entirely true, they’d still have to drive home.

“Hnngg,” Zayn moaned, squirming uncomfortably in his seat as the plane took off. Takeoff was always the worst part for him.

“Just breathe Z, you’re okay,” Andrew said softly, letting Zayn death grip his hand.

Nathan was watching them sadly, wishing he could do something, anything, to help. The poor kid looked absolutely awful. Face pale, ashen almost, his bangs matted to his forehead with sweat, red eyes full of tears, his hands shaking, even as his boyfriend tried to hold them steady.

“Mmmm,” Zayn groaned. He felt so sick.

“Aw my poor poor baby,” Andrew soothed, brushing his bangs out of his eyes.

When the flight attendant came by, Andrew asked for a cup of water for both of them. Ginger ale sometimes helps Zayn when his stomach’s upset, but he felt like putting anything but water in him at this point was a bad idea. Especially since fizzy drinks don’t feel nearly as nice on the way back up, which was almost certainly going to happen.

“Here, small sips love,” Andrew said, holding the cup out to his boyfriend, who accepted it with shaking hands. He took a few tentative swallows, setting the cup down on the tray Andrew had put down.

“Thanks,” he mumbled, eyes slipping shut again.

“Just try to take deep breaths okay?”

Zayn did as he was told, keeping his mouth firmly shut. He was starting to look green tinted again. Andrew prayed he could keep his stomach down despite the odds though.

“Drew,” Zayn’s panicky voice came a minute later, telling Andrew that his hopes were in vain.

“Right here sweetheart,” he said.

“I-it wants to come up,” he stammered, voice breaking as tears started to fall down his cheeks.

“Oh honey,” Andrew murmured, wrapping an arm around Zayn. He leaned his head against his boyfriend’s chest, who in turn pressed a kiss into his hair.

“I’m so nauseous,” he groaned.

“Do you want to go to the bathroom or stay here?” Andrew asked. He knew that there wasn’t a good option. Bathroom obviously, offered privacy, but staying in his seat meant that Andrew could be with him.

“Too shaky,” he sobbed, gagging into his hand. Right. He couldn’t make it to the bathroom anyway.

“Okay, that’s okay. Lots of people throw up on airplanes, it isn’t a big deal,” he lied.

“I don’t w-want to-o,” he cried.

“I know but you have to just let it happen. Most people have headphones on anyway so no one’s even going to notice,” he said, trying to calm Zayn down enough for him to just let it happen. He was getting himself all worked up and it was only going to make things worse.

“Can’t. D-drew I can’t. Andy-” he gasped.

“Hey, hey, hey, you’re alright. I’m right here okay? I’m not gonna let anything happen to you. Take a breath and let it happen,” he said, a little more forcefully.

Zayn took a slow, forced breath, that morphed into a gag. Andrew made quick work of opening the airsickness bag in the pocket in front of him and holding it in front of Zayn, who immediately heaved up a stream of water, and probably more medicine that never seemed to help.

“There you go, I’ve got you,” Andrew said, wrapping an arm around Zayn’s front to hold him upright and placing his other hand on his back, rubbing gentle circles.

Thankfully it didn’t last long. After a few more unproductive heaves Zayn sat back, his head lolling lifelessly to the side. Andrew used the napkin under his water to wipe off Zayn’s mouth, as he’d gotten a bit of sick on it. Then he took the other napkin and dipped it in his water. He then folded it in half and dabbed it all over Zayn’s face and neck. He sighed audibly at the coolness of it, his skin feeling quite warm.

“How’s your stomach feeling?” he asked softly.

Zayn shrugged, leaning against Andrew.

“Think you can try to sleep?” he asked.

Zayn shrugged again, but he was already drifting off, exhausted from all of this puking he’d been doing.

Andrew sighed in relief, thanking God that his boyfriend was getting some reprieve. He sure as hell deserved it after the miserable time he’s been having since that stupid boat. If only he’d been smart enough to tell him to take some medicine before, then maybe none of this would’ve happened,

Zayn managed to sleep through practically the rest of the flight, except for the landing. When the plane touched down Zayn abruptly lurched forward and vomited all over himself and the floor.

“Oh shit babe,” Andrew cried in surprise, grabbing hold of Zayn’s shoulder to keep him in his seat.

Zayn stayed hunched over, panting and crying until a flight attendant came to help clean up. Andrew wiped Zayn’s clothes off as best he could, then escourted his humiliated boyfriend off of the plane. Nathan and Julius grabbed all of their luggage this time, as Andrew had to practically carry the poor boy.

They decided to get a room at the motel right across from the airport, as Zayn’s body obviously couldn’t handle anymore motion for the time being. He could only hope that he felt well enough in the morning for the 3 hour drive home...

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eldritchsurveys · 4 years

Text

704.

1. Who is one person that you no longer hang out with? Why did that association end? >> There’s a lot of people I no longer hang out with and that’s simply because I no longer live in New York. 2. What was the last item you put into your pants pocket? >> My phone, probably. 3. Is it ever difficult for you to recall what you had to eat the day before? >> Yeah, except for the first meal because that’s usually the same every day. 4. ^How about for the past week? >> Definitely. 5. Who was the last person to endager your life, whether it was accidentally or intentionally? >> Probably Sigma. They had a nasty habit of being reckless, thoughtless, and thrill-seeking, not to mention being on drugs 95% of the time.

6. What was the last thing you started over on? >> The last thing I can remember starting over on was knitting, because I fucked up a stitch and couldn’t figure out how to fix it.

7. What was the last task that you completed? >> A survey. 8. Have you ever failed at something extremely important to you? If yes, what? >> Probably. 9. When was the last time that you wanted time to move faster? >> *shrug* 10. ^ Slower? >> I don’t know. 11. When was the last time you felt impatient with someone? >> I don’t remember. 12. Who was the last person that you called a “bitch”? >> Sparrow and I say “bitch” to each other all the time. At this point it’s like a vocal tic, lmao. 13. ^Who, if anyone, was the last person to address you by that term? >> See above. 14. When was the last time you questioned whether or not you were making the right decision? >> When I was watching High-Rise lmfaooooo what the fuck was that movie. That’s a joke, though. The last time I actually questioned whether or not I was making the right decision is probably while shopping earlier and trying to figure out what to buy. 15. Has a boy/girlfriend ever made you feel bad about yourself? >> Sure. 16. Has a boy-/girlfriend ever suggested that you might want to lose some weight, or that it might make you look better? >> No, because all the dating I did was back when I was skinny. 17. What is your idea of “too big” when it comes to weight? >> I don’t have an idea of it for other people because I, like, don’t really care. And my body dysmorphia / dysphoria thinks everything is too big on myself, so, you know. 18. ^How about “too thin”? >> For me, I guess if I can’t do shit because I’m so malnourished/weak. 19. How long do you spend looking for surveys that you wish to take? >> Not long. If I can’t find any in the #surveys tag and I don’t find any in a few minutes on bzoink, I give up and wait for another day. 20. What is the largest number of surveys you have taken in a day? >> Probably, like... a dozen. Long time ago, though. Nowadays 5 is probably my limit (maybe 6 or 7 if they’re all short and I’m especially in the mood). 21. Do you try to take surveys daily, or do you tend to skip a day here and there? >> I just take them whenever the mood strikes. Sometimes that’s multiple days in a row. 22. What is one of your biggest survey pet-peeves? >> Honestly, I’m not that peeved by anything, even the repetitive questions and the weird this-was-obviously-written-by-a-teenager questions like “do you think fat people are disgusting?” and the abundance of school/work, family, and best-friend questions that I can’t answer. It’s a flash-in-the-pan annoyance at best. 23. What percentage of the day would you say you spend worrying? >> I don’t think I spend any significant amount of the day worrying. 24. Have you ever experienced an overly clinging boy-/girlfriend? >> Yes. It turned out much the way you’d expect. 25. What is the most annoying thing your family members do on a daily basis, if anything? >> --- 26. With which family member do you get along with the least? The best? >> --- 27. ^ Why do you think that you don’t get along well with that family member? >> --- 28. Who is someone that you wish would be there for you more often? >> I dearly wish I was capable of feeling like people are there for me. It’s not an other-people problem nearly as much as it’s a me problem. 29. Have you ever felt like someone abandoned you? If yes, explain? >> Of course. One of the first things ever to happen to me was abandonment, lmao, it’s a trend. 30. How often do you find that you are bored? >> Not terribly often. I get restless a lot, though, but I don’t think that’s the same thing as boredom. Unless I’ve misinterpreted what boredom is, which is possible. 31. What activity has the best chance of holding your attention for a long period of time? >> A good book, or a video game sometimes. 32. If you make surveys, have you ever had anyone insult you, your questions, or your opinions? >> I mean, probably. People be like that. 33. As a survey-taker, do you tend to insult other survey-makers or survey-takers, even if it might be indirectly? >> I try not to insult the survey-maker, even if I’m ripping the question itself apart. And even then, I try to limit my derision to really ugly questions like the example I gave earlier, “do fat people disgust you?” and shit like that. Every once in a while I’ll run into those and it’s just like *pinches bridge of nose* FUCKING SIGH 34. Have you ever decided that you like / dislike someone based on their survey answers? >> I mean, sure. In my opinion, survey answers are a pretty solid way to learn about someone and whether you’d get along with them. I feel like most everyone whose surveys I encounter regularly in the #surveys tag (Lane, Robyn, Steph, etc) is a pretty chill person. Maybe it’s all the introspection from taking surveys, lmao. Good for the personality. 35. What is one color of car that you would never be caught dead driving? >> I mean, I can’t drive, so. 36. A bloodied, possibly wounded man is on the side of the road: do you stop to see if you can assist him, or do you drive past? >> I’m never the driver, so it’s not like it’d be up to me. I don’t 100% know what Sparrow would do, this is never a hypothetical we’ve discussed. I’d argue for stopping, at least to call 911. 37. ^ Would it make a difference if it was a woman with a small child in the same condition? >> It’s the same thing, bro. People are people. I don’t feel comfortable ranking human beings like this to determine who’s more worth my assistance... either I’m going to help someone or I’m not, but I’m definitely not going to put false value judgements on it like “oh it’s because it was a dude” like lmao nice try with the justification of wrongness, brain. If I’m going to be callous, I’m not gonna pretend otherwise.

#surveys #survey #random survey

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missweber · 5 years

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@lardo-week

For Day 6 of Lardo Week - Friends and Lovers

(Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4 | Chapter 5)

(FYI, I’ll start posting these to AO3 tomorrow after I get the last chapter up tomorrow and give everything a good scrubbing for lurking typos and the like)

the practical thing to do

It wasn't that Lardo wasn't earning money. She had two decent part-time jobs and had even picked up a couple of freelance assignments.

One of the freelance assignments (painting the risers of a staircase in an old house-turned-bookstore to resemble shelves of children's books) had been fun and had paid fairly well, but it hadn't led to any nibbles from potential patrons.

She had time, she reminded herself. There was nothing wrong with working part-time for a gallery and for a local youth hockey organization. There was nothing wrong with creating some stability for herself.

But something was wrong.

"Can I vent?" She had timed her question for when Ransom and Holster were home and Shitty was at an evening seminar. As for She-Who-Would-Not-Be-Named, Lardo didn't really give a shit if she was home or not.

"Lay it on us, so we may ease your troubled mind," Holster intoned, affecting an air of wisdom and concern. Ransom didn't say anything, but he closed his laptop and put it aside so he could pay full attention.

Wanting to vent didn't mean knowing what to say. Instead, she just plopped herself down on the couch right between them. There wasn't quite enough room, but they made it work.

"I feel like a fucking parasite," she said at last.

The chorus of no no no! and we're fine with how things are divvied up, honest! weren't as comforting as they were meant to be.

"I'm venting, okay? That means you gotta let me vent! Don't..." She took a deep breath. "Don't just tell me not to worry, okay?"

Part of her could hear Shitty explaining how being told not to worry was sometimes the same as 'go away and don't bother me with your pesky emotions,' and that, she found comforting.

"My bad," Holster said.

Ransom pulled her into a side hug. "Sorry about that, Lards. Go ahead. Why are you comparing yourself to a tapeworm?"

"Gross, dude," she and Holster said in perfect unison, and that led to a giggle fit that totally killed the mood.

"Now I'm not feeling ranty. I'm just going to whine instead."

"Would you like some wine with that wine?" Holster asked in a horrible faux-British accent.

"Oh, hell yes!"

The occasion apparently called for a bottle of good wine that had been 'liberated' from Shitty's grandparents, and the novelty wine glasses. Lardo noted that her glass said 'Wine is cheaper than therapy' and tried not to read too much into it. After all, Ransom's said 'I just can't adult today' and Holster's glass proclaimed that he was 'Sotally Tober.'

"So anyway, I feel like a total mooch. I know you guys say it doesn't bother you that I'm paying a smaller share of rent than you are, but it still bugs me. I feel... I feel kept."

"Does it help if we tell you we don't think of it that way at all?" Ransom asked gently.

She shrugged. "In theory."

Shitty, Ransom, and Holster had each told her over and over and over they didn't mind paying bigger shares of the rent. They all either had or made enough money to cover it, and how the hell was Lardo supposed to do art on the side if she didn't have the time or energy to do art?

"We've got your back, bro," Holster said as if that explained everything.

She knew it should. She wished it did.

"Did anything in particular stir this up?" Ransom asked. His eyes narrowed. "Shitty's dad didn't say anything again, did he? Or Claire?"

Holster shushed him, and cast furtive looks at the hallway. "Don't say her name! She'll know we're talking about her!"

Ransom leaned in close and lowered his voice to a whisper. "I know I always said I was team attic, but if the person who's hiding in the attic is you-know-who? Then fuck it. I'm changing my answer."

"Dude," Holster said solemnly. "What if she's actually a thousand roaches in a trench coat?"

"Huh. That actually makes a lot of sense."

Watching their back and forth helped more than their concern. "No one said anything, guys." Well, George had said something in an email, but not in the way the guys meant it. "Just some job stuff came up today that... well, it stirred some shit up."

The point of having a job was to earn a living. Yes, you should do something you liked to do, but you needed to be practical about it. Lardo's parents had never been poor, but for as long as she could remember, they always had to be mindful. She had never gone hungry, but her mother and her bà ngoại had.

They had always encouraged and celebrated her artwork, but they had also been very clear that she was expected to get a real job.

There had also been sly hints about how finding a husband with a real job was a possible alternative, but she forced the thought from her mind because while a wine hangover was bad, a rage hangover was even worse.

The three of them killed off a bottle and a half of wine. It was weaksauce compared to their kegster days, but while Lardo had gone to several classes hungover and still in her pajamas, she didn't think that would fly at the Newbury Street gallery where she worked.

Where she worked for now, at least.

"I'm done guys," she said with a yawn that was only a little exaggerated. "Thanks for letting me dump on you. And don't say it's no problem or anything stupid like that."

She really hoped Shitty got home soon. Now that she had vented, she actually wanted to talk.

It was good to crawl into bed. It was only half-made, as usual, but Duckie and Mr. Steggy were in their proper places as they should be. She smiled, remembering how Shitty had literally squeed with delight when she first introduced him to her childhood plushie.

She hugged both stuffed animals to her and fell asleep.

She was woken up what felt like just a minute later when a naked Shitty tried to pry Mr. Steggy out of her grasp.

"You're hogging the cuddle-buddies," he whispered.

"You snooze, you lose."

"Excuse you, but I was not the one snoozing, Ms. Duan."

She laughed and let Shitty take the plush stegosaurus. He slid into bed and snuggled close. She leaned in and kissed him deep, curling one hand around the back of his head so she could play with his hair. God, she was so glad he was growing it out again.

He ran his fingers down the curve of her waist and up the rise of her hip, but it was an inquiry rather than a request. She kissed him again, then pulled back. "Just this," she said. "And can I talk to you about something?"

She felt him tense defensively but then relax. The first had been automatic, the second, deliberate. "Okay?"

"First of all, yes, there is some money shit tied up in all of this, so I need to know it's okay to talk about money. Otherwise, this is going to be frustrating as hell."

It said something that all he did was nod in agreement. They had figured out quickly that their difference in background made financial discussions a big-ass mine field. They'd had a rough start, but now they used safe words more when talking about money than they did when having sex.

Lardo thought more couples should follow their example.

"I got a solid lead on a job today."

His face lit up. "What! That's–"

She covered his mouth with her hand. "Let me finish, okay? And if you lick my hand, I will pluck your mustache out hair by hair. Nod if you understand."

He nodded. She removed her hand.

"Here's the problem. If I take this job, I'll have to quit the gallery job and cut back my time with the Rockets. Maybe even quit."

"Okay," he said. She could tell he had a question, but was holding it. For now.

"Starting out, it would mean less money. Not a lot less, but..." But it had been enough to trigger a crisis that required copious amounts of wine to solve. "And the commute would suck."

"Okay."

He wanted to say he would fix it, that he would make up the difference. She could see it. But he stayed quiet, and she loved him all the more for it.

"But that would only be at first. Part of what I'd be doing is training to take on someone else's job when he retires next year. And it would be decent money. I...”

She let go.

“I thought that wasn't important to me! I know I'm worth more than the money I make! I know my art is damned good art even if it takes me forever to get to where I can do it full time! So what's wrong with me that I'm ready to throw away an art gallery job—a fucking Newbury Street gallery job!—so I can make more money a whole year from now!"

Shitty actually raised his hand sheepishly, as if he was a student in her class. "Um, so what is this job, anyway?"

That was enough to get her to laugh, and laughing gave her an excuse to wipe away the tears that had started to well. "Details, details... Yeah. George Martin said she's got an opening for an assistant equipment manager-slash-logistics person."

"George Martin? As in Jack's George? Falcs George?" Shitty's eyes were wide. "Holy guacamole doesn't even begin to cover it. So, what are you thinking?"

"In a lot of ways, it makes sense to keep the gallery job. No, it's not my kind of art." Honestly, it was more the sort of thing she imagined hanging in Shitty's grandparent's house. "But it's good experience to see that side of things for when I start selling my own things. And then there's the networking. It would be the practical thing to–"

She stopped, listening to what she was about to say, and hearing the echo of her mother's voice.

"Lards?"

"Yeah?"

"Would you still have time to do your art? If you take this other job?"

She shrugged. "Yeah. I don't see why not."

Shitty reached out and took her hand. He rubbed his thumb up and down her wrist, stroking and soothing. "When you said you would have to quit your gallery job and maybe not work as much with the kiddos on the Rockets, I almost said something."

She nodded. She had caught that.

"What I almost said was that you sounded more upset about cutting back your work with the kids than you did about quitting the gallery completely."

"Holy shit," she whispered. It was as if someone had pulled aside the curtain hiding Oz the Great and Terrible.

She didn't like the gallery. She liked the idea of the gallery. She liked that even after she had decided that the world wouldn't end if she didn't get a job in the arts right away, this opportunity dropped in her lap. She liked what she had been learning from her boss and the new appreciation she had for mid-century American art.

What she didn't like was dressing up like she worked in a law office. She didn't like the way some buyers treated paintings like investment properties. She didn't like being a salesperson/hostess.

And she really didn't like how many clients reminded her of Shitty's grandparents.

But she loved her hockey kids.

"You're right. But..."

"But?"

She gently plucked Mr. Steggy from Shitty's grasp and set him on the nightstand. Duckie followed a second later, and Lardo wriggled as close to Shitty as she could. "But you've given me a lot to think about." She tilted her head so she could kiss his chin. "G'night."

There was no need to make a decision just then, even though she was pretty sure what it would be. There were just a few things she had to think through, first.

She felt like something big had shifted, or was about to shift, and that the future was going to be something she had never imagined. But that was okay.

She had Shitty. And in a different way, she had Ransom and Holster, and Jack and Bitty.

And, as Holster had said, they had her back.

#omgcp #omgcheckplease #lardo duan #my fic

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