#yeah female dwarf have beard

[theactivepresent]

Spent the day playing bg3 at my friends' house & i understand why everyone's obsessed with the vampire dude now

#im still gonna romance the buff fire lady + other ladies once i figure out the system but. yeah. #also i love fhat hair and beards are not gender locked so i have a sexy sexy female dwarf with a sexy sexy long beard #present ramblings #yes i went on holiday to Scandinavia to visit friends and yes i did spent 1.5 days playing Baldur's Gate. what of it.

[fili-urzudel]

Jumbled - Kíli Durin x Reader

A proper, full-length fic featuring our favorite little brother! I'm not the most proud of this but it's finished and I think I should put it out there. No one requested this, but it's to tide you over until I put the finishing touches on the last few requests :)

Word count: 1.6k

Warnings: a lot of being oblivious and dumb, but other than that we're good.

There were no words to describe Kíli Durin. That's what you were thinking as the top of your quill lightly brushed your bottom lip, gazing out the inn's drawing room window. This was the last town you would all stop in for a long while, and those of you with families had made the choice to write letters to your families back home as quickly as possible. You told them how you were doing, that you were tired but making progress and eating well, and keeping good company among thirteen dwarves and a hobbit.

You told them a bit about Bilbo and his odd little ways that you found quite endearing, if not annoying at times, and about Glóin, and his unabashed love and pride in his family. You told them about the golden-haired Prince Fíli, who was always a gentleman and had fast become your friend. You told them how Thorin was usually a big grump, but you had seen evidence from time to time, usually in relation to Bilbo, that it was all just a front. But the one dwarf you wanted to tell them about, you found yourself tongue—er, pen-tied over.

There were no right words to describe how you felt about Kíli Durin. Perfect wouldn't really do him justice, with his uneven bangs and his dazzling lopsided smile and stubbly beard that he cursed to the end of his days. Neither would ethereal, with the way his scent of pine sap and the feel of the callouses on his hands were so very grounded and real. Princely didn't fit his flippant attitude and his unceasing laugh and his never-ending jokes that had your lungs cramping at times.

Perhaps the real problem was that there wasn't enough paper.

You sent the letter off without writing exactly what you wanted about the soon-to-be prince of Erebor, save for his best wishes to any female member of your household. He didn't think you would write it down, but there was just enough room for a postscript. That would show him.

And before you knew it, you were on your way again. You readjusted your pack on your shoulders as Fíli dropped back to walk beside you. "I don't suppose you confessed your undying love in that letter by any chance?"

You blushed and nudged him with your elbow, too untrusting of your own balance to attempt kicking him. "Do you have to be so loud?"

"I can assure you it's all lost in the thunderous stomping, my friend," he smiled. "But that's probably for the best. Better for the object of your affections to know first, don't you think?"

"Stop trying to push it, Fíli," you groaned. "I already feel horrible for avoiding him for so long. I just... I can't be normal around him anymore, I—I don't know how to get the words out. This is all... so weird."

Fíli gave you a pointed glance. "If you're worried about him rejecting you, there's no way in all of Arda."

"Is that verified intelligence?"

"I'm his brother."

"Fair enough. I'll try."

"Tonight?"

"...Soon."

You didn't even have to approach the prince that evening, as he sought you out to have supper with. "Hello," you said with a nervous smile, scooting to make sure there was plenty of room for him on the log you had claimed. I hope he doesn't think I'm trying to get away from him.

"Hey," he returned a bright grin. "I just figured I'd better take my chance to spend some time with you while I can. We never seem to be near each other anymore."

"Hah, yeah," you answered awkwardly. "Sorry about that."

"Have you been avoiding me?" He asked, suddenly serious.

"What?" You asked with wide eyes, horrified. You looked to Fíli, sitting just a few yards away, and he gave you a look that said, just tell him.

"No—no, I wasn't trying to avoid you at all, it's just, you see, well—" gods you were a mess—you sighed. "I just realized, fairly recently, that I'm... in love, and it's made it hard to focus. I'm sorry if I was avoiding you."

That was a terrible confession by any standard.

Rather than looking relieved or hopeful, Kíli looked... pained. Almost angry, and Kíli was never angry. "Oh. I'm happy for you," he said flatly, before picking up his stew and heading elsewhere. He took a seat near Dwalin and Thorin, silently listening to their intense conversation.

You gave a desperate look to Fíli again, and he just shrugged. "I'll try to talk to him," he mouthed, and you nodded in gratitude.

You spent the rest of the evening in silence.

You loved Fíli. Of course, you loved Fíli, Kíli thought as he wandered the outskirts of camp, kicking a rock from one boot to another. Just one look at the two of them could have predicted that clearly enough. He was tall but broad, properly muscular for a dwarf. He had thick, curly hair and enough braids to make Thorin jealous. He had a full beard. He forged enough knives to supply an army and carried half of them on his person.

What did Kíli have compared to that? Bangs he had cut for himself on impulse so that people would have something else to look at instead of his pathetic excuse for a beard? A small game bow that was useless when anything came up close? A sword that he needed help to make?

There was no contest, really. Even if Fíli was engaged, what would that do to stop anyone from seeing his merits?

"You're sure he didn't say anything? Didn't make any significant noises or... grunts or anything?" You asked, on the verge of tears. It had been three days since your terrible confession, and Kíli hadn't so much as glanced your way.

"Nothing. He hasn't said anything to me since, either," Fíli said dejectedly.

There were only two explanations: he had horribly misunderstood you, or he knew you were in love with him and was so disgusted by the concept that he decided to avoid you entirely. As foolish as it was, you were inclined to believe the latter.

"What about what I said would make him hate me?" You murmured.

"Hey now, he may be giving you the cold shoulder, but he does not hate you. Kíli's not like that. You'd have to do something terrible, like... kill me, to get him to hate you," Fíli assured you.

That drew a short laugh from you, and you rubbed your nose on the back of your hand. "I hope you're right," you sighed. "I just wish he would at least look at me."

That night, like the previous two, you sat away from the fire, holding your soup close to your body to stay warm, despite Balin's many good-natured attempts to get you to join them. If Kíli didn't want to be near you, you wouldn't force him.

It was still light out when you decided to lay out your bedroll for the evening, the sun just starting to dip behind the trees. Apparently Thorin had decided you all needed the extra rest.

You glanced up at the sound of footsteps, and your eyes were met with boots. Kíli's boots. "Kíli!" You said, surprising yourself with how... shocked your voice was.

"Are you alright?" He asked, and though he sounded concerned, there was a hardness to his eyes. "People who are in love don't normally appear so sad."

"Well, they do when the object of their affections makes it so clear that they are not interested," you replied glumly. "You don't have to pretend—"

He made a frustrated sort of huff, and you looked up at him in confusion. He had never made a sound like that. "I am sorry for your heartbreak, but forgive me if it frustrates me as well. It is clear to all the world by his disposition, his words, and most importantly, his braids, that my brother is taken. He has promised himself in marriage to a dam he loves, and there is nothing my brother is if not loyal. And I can understand his appeal, but have I not also been a friend? Have I not also tried to be kind and—and charming and gentlemanly and make you laugh? I am not my brother but I would like to think I have my own merits so why are you lovesick over him when I am right here?"

You gazed at him with wide eyes, a smile breaking across your face. "You... think that I love your brother?"

Kíli's brow furrowed. "Why are you smiling like that?"

"Fíli! Kíli has declared me hopelessly in love with you!" You shouted, and the golden prince unceremoniously spat out a spray of his soup, narrowly missing Nori.

By this time you were full-out laughing, and everyone in the company was staring at you, especially Thorin.

"Will you please tell me what's going on?" Kíli asked, all the hardness having vanished from his eyes.

"Kíli, I may have been... fantastically terrible at saying this, and I'm sorry for that, but I was trying to say that I'm in love with you," you explained, taking his hands.

"You're... in love with me?" He breathed hopefully.

"I love you, Kíli, and if your recent outburst was any indication, I'm feeling very optimistic about my chances of you loving me as well," you confirmed.

"But—but I'm short and uncouth and—and I can't grow a proper beard—"

"You were just touting your many good qualities, and I agree with those more," you teased.

"You love me?"

"Yes."

"I love you too," he finally admitted. "May I kiss you?"

"You may."

#lotr fanfic #lotr #lotr fandom #the hobbit #lotr headcanons #the hobbit headcanons #the hobbit x reader #kili x reader #kili durin x reader #prince kili x reader #kili durin #kíli durin x reader #kíli durin

[wheels-of-despair]

Draw Me Like One of Your Dwarf Girls, Eddie Pairing: Eddie Munson x You Summary: Eddie decides to work on his drawing skills, and accidentally awakens a monster in the process. Contains: Titanic references, female nudity, a brush with death. Word Count: 1.3k-ish

"Draw me like one of your dwarf girls, Eddie," you say in a sultry voice, trying your hardest not to laugh.

"What did I tell you about talking?" He pauses to give you a pointed look, since he's already told you to pipe down several times. You roll your eyes, and he returns to his drawing with a renewed vigor.

It's early 1998, and you've recently dragged your poor Eddie to a theater to see that damn Titanic movie everybody and their mother keeps raging about. All 3 hours of it. You may have neglected to mention the runtime when you bought the tickets. You owe him.

He survived, but was suddenly faced with the desire to "work on his people-sketching skills." Which of course meant it took him less than a week to convince you to strip and pose like Rose on the couch, wearing only that red guitar pick necklace he's had since high school.

You're stretched out and exposed and already bored. Two hours ago, he'd adjusted your hand a quarter of an inch this way, your knee a quarter of an inch that way, and you'd been instructed not to move.

Well, it felt like two hours, but it was really only about 30 minutes.

With nothing else to do, and being mildly disappointed that he didn't find your commentary amusing, you watch his eyes follow the pencil scratching across the paper you can't see. He's cute when he's concentrating. Tongue poking out, brow furrowed, that spark of creativity in his eye. It must be going well, because he smiles occasionally. He even giggled once. If you had to guess, you'd say it probably had something to do with a nipple. It was a little chilly.

"Just as I thought; it's a masterpiece."

"Are you done?" You'd only been in this position for an eternity.

"Oh yeah, this baby's getting framed." Ignoring you, he holds his sketch pad out to view it at an arm's length, beaming at his creation.

"Can I move now?!"

"Yeah, you can move."

You stretch your stiff limbs and get up off the couch, reaching for the flannel he'd discarded on a chair nearby, buttoning a few buttons as you pad over to where he sat admiring his work.

You place a hand on his back and look over his shoulder at the figure on his sketchbook. You're confused, but you can't take your eyes off of it. You can't think of anything to say. Until…

"What. The FUCK. Is THAT."

He looks up innocently and says, "What? I was just following instructions. You kept talking, figured I better listen."

You have no words.

You do, however, have a fucking BEARD in Eddie's drawing.

He sits there, looking up at you with a proud grin on his face, waiting for you to react.

You stare at him wordlessly, still in a state of shock.

Until he laughs at you. LAUGHS AT YOU.

Your brain begins to swirl furiously, until it flashes one word: KILL.

You clench your fists, and he begins to sense that you're not going to start laughing with him. His eyes widen, and he jumps out of his chair, vaults over the coffee table, and stands on the couch.

"I can explain," he says quickly, trying to sound calm, steps unsteady on the cushions.

You can explain too. Explain to the responding officers how one Edward James Munson met his gruesome demise.

"It's Tolkien."

You ignore him and advance slowly, like a predator stalking its prey. Eyes unblinking. Blood boiling. Steam probably coming out of your ears. He jumps off the couch as you approach the coffee table.

"It's from a book!" He's walking backward, holding out his sketch pad like a lion tamer with a chair.

His eyes bulge as he hits something solid. You've backed him into a corner. Literally.

"Tolkien! Middle-earth! The Hobbit! Nerd shit!"

Nerd shit won't save you now, Munson. You narrow your eyes and prepare to go in for the kill. He panics.

"Dwarf women have beards! It was a joke! I'm sorry! I love you!"

The "I love you" makes you pause, just as you were about to pounce and slash your prey to pieces. The hell?

"What?" you ask, giving your head a slight shake in confusion.

"Dwarf women have beards. In the books. You said to draw you like a dwarf. It was a joke. I thought you'd know what it was."

"You thought I'd know some random detail from a book I haven't read in over a decade?"

"I mean, it's a pretty memorable detail…"

You roll your eyes, heave a sigh, and pinch the bridge of your nose. Why is this not surprising?

"So you're not gonna kill me?" He's still backed into his corner. You consider it for a moment, deciding that you've played with him enough for today.

"Not tonight, Munson."

He exhales and leans his head back against the wall.

"But I WILL get you for this," you threaten, pointing a finger at him. He nods, used to this constant back-and-forth game you'd both been playing for over a decade. He knew you'd never really hurt him, just like you knew he wouldn't hurt you either. It was just a game.

You turn to walk away, and hear him whisper to the abomination he's still clutching: "Don't worry baby, you're still gettin' framed."

You whip around, eyes flashing. He gulps. You step closer, making him lean further back into the wall. He's cute when he's scared.

"Give it."

He stares at you with those big, beautiful brown eyes of his.

"Give it," you repeat, holding out a hand and waiting for him to place his sketchbook into it.

Reluctantly, he hands it to you. You maintain eye contact as your fingers find the thick cover page, not wanting to give him the satisfaction of looking at his ungodly creation again. You slam it shut and he flinches.

"What are you gonna do with it?"

Beat your nerdy ass to death with it.

Still clutching his sketch pad, you step back silently and gesture for him to walk on by with your free hand. He slowly peels himself off the wall and begins to move with an apprehensive look in your direction, and a thought occurs to you.

As he scurries past you, you smack him on the ass with his sketchbook. He whirls around with a yelp, hands clutching his cheeks. It's cardboard, you drama queen. You step closer and swing the book at his arm.

"You made me lay there for AN HOUR! While! You! Drew! That!" You punctuate each word with another smack of the sketch pad. He continues overreacting to each hit and falls to the floor with a wail when you finish yelling, clutching his imaginary wounds. You lift the book above your head with both hands, ready to finish him.

"It started out real! But I couldn't make it look like you! It wasn't pretty enough!" You graciously decide to let him continue, still holding the sketchbook in an attack position, just in case. "I tried," he explains calmly now, "but it wasn't working out, and then you said the dwarf thing, and I thought it would be funny. I'll make it up to you."

"Damn right, you will." You lower the book and release it. It lands on his chest with a light thud. He grins from his position on the floor. You step over him and make your way toward the bedroom.

"Starting now," you inform him from the hallway, not slowing or turning around. You hear him scramble to get up, knock something over, and curse before he hurries in your direction.

He's lucky he's cute.

#writings of despair #eddie munson x you #eddie munson x reader #oh look she finally wrote a sexy story #psychhh #*cackles* #keep in mind that this is pre-lotr movies #tolkien specifics are not common knowledge #even when you live with a nerd who probably rambles nonstop #i've been trying to read those books since 2001 and have never made it more than one chapter into the hobbit #were it not for the movies i'd know nothing #don't try to logic at me kids #this started as a 2 am joke in someone's askbox #and then it snowballed... or iceberged if you will #not me having to edit a thing because i kept writing and ended up contradicting my own ew-verse

[britcision]

Someone told me you don’t see many people doing dwarf inquisitor runs cuz the visual options aren’t as good

But we cracked open the character creator, and I just…

Like yeah, you’d be hard fucking pressed to make a twink dwarf (and that is a goddamn crime but probably doable with lots of customisation)

But seriously???? Look at the elf, human, and qunari default faces

All of the female dwarf faces are hot, and so are all of the male faces if you’ve had even a passing thought about the Rock or Terry Crews

They’re rugged, not hugely delicate, and actually look like people

Meanwhile the default elves have leaned just over the line of uncanny valley and into bug eyes

(But again, careful work and dedication in customisation accidentally ended in us creating Matt Smith)

The humans somehow look worse with the hair options despite the heads being the same shape, and every single female qunari face just snorted a lemon through their tiny tiny nose

The male qunari faces are a bit better but still weirdly sunken under the brow, and I get building up the brow to support the horns

I just don’t think you need to leave the entire rest of the face in a black hole underneath it

Anyway, hot dwarf supremacy and I like that they will let me give a female dwarf some stubble, but they’re fucking cowards who already animated the beards and shoulda gone hard

#dragon age inquisition #dai #dwarf inquisitor #hot dwarf supremacy #made me a nice nonbiney dwarf for my adhd inquisitor crimes

[doodle-pops]

hi mina!

i have a question for you do you think the elves, dwarves, & hobbits ever experience the feeling of being born the wrong gender?

i’m convinced that there are humans in middle earth that are trans/nonbinary/etc but i was wondering do you ever think the other races have trans/nonbinary/etc people or are they all cisgender?

if you think yes is there any other thoughts you have about it? like is there transphobia within their own races or are they accepting of it? how would they go about transitioning? do you think they experience gender as humans do or would they have something completely different? anything else i’m probably missing?

also if you have no thoughts on this subject that’s completely valid, i’ve been thinking about this & i may just be biased in my opinion of “yeah there’s probably trans people in other races” lol.

& thank you either way rather you answer or not, you’re one of my favorite tolkien writers an i always love reading your thoughts on these characters & your stories about them— i really appreciate you thank you again 💘💘

( also convinced the dwarfs would have the easiest time with being transgender since if i remember right the men & women look so similar to one another )

Hiya 👋! Firstly, thank you so much for your appreciation and thoughtfulness. It made my day ☺️. I hope all is well with you! Now onto your question.

I see the dwarves having the easiest time when it comes to dealing with gender seeing that they're androgynous. It's due to the beard, braids and bead (?) placement, only then you can tell the difference between whether they're male or female. Also, they can choose the gender that suits them best, if I'm not mistaken. So, I agree that dwarves would take it the easiest.

As for elves, it's a possibility that it can exist. You can look at their closeness with Eru and his will to see how it ties in with choosing one's gender. With the elves, they go by Eru's will and if it is so, then it will be done. So, it can exist amongst them, however, they might experience it on a spiritual level since they're 'otherworldly beings' and everything is tied to their fëar.

As for facing negativity with respect to choosing their gender, I tend to say that as long as some accept, there will also be those who cannot. I will say that not all those who don't accept discriminate; they would understand, but not accept it. You can draw reference from how the Caliquendi viewed the Moriquendi for simply not wanting to visit Valinor; there was discrimination and misunderstanding. So, it is probable to find them among the elves.

You would have those who would question while being respectful because they’re curious and want to understand. Whereas some would discriminate without wanting to learn because these elves are destroying Eru's creation (themselves).

As for transitioning, I don't know about the process, so I'm unable to respond. Thanks for the question 🤗

#🦚 {dofmtl} #elves and lace #gender dysphoria

[mypunkpansexualtwin]

psst i saw you reblogged a bg3 (which im currently 30 hrs in on, god what a game.) ask meme earlier but i forgot to like it to find it again. dealers choice on which numbers you'd like to answer. lemme hear about your tav & your playthrough

I did go and unbury that in case you want to do it too. Link there for anyone who wants to use it.

You're getting more Maya (although there's probably gonna be a Cat run soon, probably gonna roll her up, get off the nautiloid, then truck on her save once I'm done with Maya's since I'm solidly into act 3 with her. I should work on my other saves too but whatever.)

As far as dealer's choice, I'm gonna limit myself to 5 because I will be here for hours otherwise.

1) Tell us about your Tav! Name, class and subclass, race, pronouns, etc. Do you have a headcanon where they're from? Their family? Are they a Dark Urge? Did you choose an original character or an Origin Character? Was it an easy decision?

Maya Cutter, Vengeance Paladin, Duergar (headcanon is her mother was a Duergar and her father was a Gold Dwarf and that's why the grey complexion only shows as a vague ashy cast and as hyperpigmentation in her scars, and why her hair was lightly shot through with silver all her life.) She is indeed a Dark Urge, so there's some stuff I've adjusted in the backstory to fit with what we learn in act 3 regarding that, but for the most part it remains unchanged. Mainly that her mother was not exactly a good Duergar down in the Underdark and her father wasn't exactly a willing part of the household. Briefly had her own family, but Vengeance Paladin things happened that set her on a very bad path, so the memory loss was a nice hard reboot. Lot of tragedy, lots of death, because if you're gonna pick the edgelord background, might as well lean into it. Plus, I'm bad at letting the coping mechanism characters have a good time.

It was definitely an easy choice for OC playthrough every time, and definitely easy preexisting OC choices for both TDU saves; Maya for the "actually I hate this" and Felicity for Full Murder Hobo. I've got like 8 more not-TDU OCs waiting in the wings at this point and I'm only considering an Origin because I want Karlach and Wyll to smooch.

2) Was there something about the character creator that just couldn't capture your character? Please tell us about their hair, tattoos, piercings, disabilities, their trans or intersex body, or anything else you feel comfortable sharing!

A few things, yeah. First and foremost, Maya is a Tough Old Broad, but physically the cc only allowed for Tough. She's old and fat and happy with that, and while she's got a decent amount of muscle, she's not nearly as buff as the Dwarf character model. (That said, if female dwarves can have beards they should also get body hair. Unshave her.) Woman's built like a dumpling and, outside of the battle scars and edgelord coat of paint, looks more like she should be a cookbook mascot.

Another big one is a consistent thing for her between every au is she has a prosthetic arm. Right arm specifically, starting just below the shoulder, always lost in a fight against something significantly bigger and nastier than her because she put herself between it and someone who couldn't put up a fight. Probably skeletal in this case, reinforced with infernal iron, but it's kinda vague in my head.

Last bit is she's more heavily scarred all over (some of it so severe it looks like pieces of her had to be stitched back onto her body) and with some different stuff written on her face now that I know Larian used the actual Infernal alphabet. Probably slightly luminous scarring rather than just lurid orange face paint, across the face as seen here, as well as around the amputation site on her arm.

...I should dig out my tablet.

19) Did your character spend a night with a companion either the night of the party or earlier? Is it someone they have continued interest in?

Yes and no? She chatted everyone up and about half the party was sad to be shot down, save Lae'zel (already got shot down day fucking one after getting off the nautiloid), Wyll (having his introspective time that she left him to), and Astarion. Astarion immediately headed off any interest (that wasn't actually there, I misclicked) with the "it's not you, it's me. I have standards." line, which (headcanon) got a really good laugh out of her and a "careful there, prettyboy, keep that up and I might actually start to like your skinny ass." She likes a friend she can argue and be catty with.

As far as actually spending the night, she and Karlach did a lot of flirting and then uh. Thinking about each other after working themselves up without having a chance to properly fix the whole Too Hot, Hot Damn issue. Karlach has continued to be Maya's romance, but it is a tragedy she couldn't be poly with her and Wyll. (That said, if I were to replay another Maya save, TDU or not, I'd probably lean less into my own preference and more into Maya being an old slut before sticking with one of the Act 3 companions who's a little closer to her age.)

(I'm rolling these two into one question)

28) Did you recruit Scratch the dog? Did you encounter him at all? (29) Did you adopt an owlbear? Do you have a name for your child?

His name is Baby.

35) Has your character done anything that they regret?

*sweats in Dark Urge*

Aside from any TDU stuff, Maya was very conflicted about how she handled Mayrina's stuff after the Hag. Found the wand, regretted not snapping it. Instead, she used it, felt bad about it, passed it off to Mayrina, felt weird about it, and basically kept wondering on and off during quiet moments "was that...... was that the right call?" well into act 3.

(Even in act 3, it's basically "y'know what, we all grieve on our own schedule. Still weird tho.")

#bg3 #baldur's gate 3 #my ocs #maya acerbi #answers to questions y'all actually asked #ciadoodles #if folks wanna send more I'm good for it but again no promises #long post

[therealharrywatson]

Have you watched or read The Lord of the Rings? The books and the movies are great. Tolkien is such a genius.

If yes, who is your favorite character and what race (Elf, dwarf, hobbit,…) would you like to be?

both actually, loved the books and the movies were great as well.

and i think i would be an awesome hobbit: eat and drink and smoke 🤐 all day long, otherwise a quiet and peaceful life, nothing to worry about- yeah, i'd like that. i lack the grace of the Elves and female dwarves have beards- so a no to those.

thanks for the ask!

#harry watson #harry watson rp #rp #asks

[teacupofgooglyeyes]

ok im back for my rant about the fucking BRILLIANCE of Sir Terry Pratchett, specifically surrounding the discworld novels (because im probably a teensy bit insane but oh well who isnt nowadays)

first off, im a huge fan of the way he writes in general- so much so, in fact, that my own writing style is pretty inspired by him. its the perfect combination of sentence structuring and comedic timing and side-notes. not to mention the structuring of the novels themselves which also adds so much to the novel!!!

the comedy is always on-point (at least in my opinion, but that applies to everything i say here tbh) with short references and just ahajerirkrkfk my brain is short-circuiting but i fucking love pratchett humour its something unique and wonderful and oh so incredible. an example to possibly aid my word vomit- the use of footnotes to provide a comedic position on whatever its referencing whilst also providing context and worldbuilding is fucking genius and makes me laugh every single goddamn time.

on that note, the world-building is insane. the discworld novels are a collection of novels concerning a world that is flat and circular atop four giant elephants atop an even bigger space turtle called the great a’tuin. theres vampires, dwarfs, trolls, werewolves, gnomes, witches, wizards, warlocks, gods of almost absolutely everything under the sun, and all of them have bucketloads of history and personal culture. theres huge goddamn cities, rivers, towns- you name it, its probably been covered in the incredible worldbuilding. and yet its built in such a way that you could probably pick up any book in the series and read it with little to no context and still understand and enjoy the novel itself.

heres something i personally have the most admiration for: the casual inclusion of subtle lgbtq+ representation that just lights up my heart to no end. my favourite example is the dwarves. dwarves in discworld had little concept of gender in the traditional sense, all had beards and kind of just existed as a whole. when they started to move out of the mines and caves they lived in and into the big city of ank-morpork they gradually began exploring these concepts of ‘man’ and ‘woman’ and some dwarves realised that maybe they themselves wanted to be women too. most kept their beards and some changed how they dressed/presented to be more feminine but not all. of course there were some older dwarves who were dead set against this whole gender thing but overall its pretty accepted in the universe and there’s even a female dwarf as one of the main characters of the discworld subplots

anyways yeah i fucking love terry pratchett and everything hes done for this world thank you and goodnight

#discworld universe #discworld #terry pratchett #sir terry pratchett #im going insane

[lesbiansforboromir]

I do get why people are complaining about lack of beards on dwarven women, but let's be realistic, most of studios wouldn't be brave enough to do that. And how many dwarven women do we have one screen anyway? I can think only about goddamn Huntsman Winterwar movie, and there it. I love Disa and I love her energy with my whole heart, and while yeah, I'd like to see a bearded dwarrow dame, I'm just grateful to have a female dwarf for fucking once in my life.

She's literally a main character she's a princess she's a mother she loves her husband she kisses him onscreen she has a life and fashion and passions and expertise and existance!!! I forgot about the beard immediately, I couldn't love her more.

#chats

[doberbutts]

Things I do actually have a problem with:

Hair :( The human men have long hair so why not the elves? Seems like a weird choice to make in all honesty, especially with Finrod who is specifically described as having long flowing hair now sporting a shaved haircut. I’m not saying everyone needs waist-length hair but shaved sides/back are more dwarvish and human things than elvish things. The mohawk that looks right on the dwarf looks absurd on the elf, even if it’s styled fine. Similarly, yeah, sad to not see beards on the female dwarves. Disa does have sideburns (sparse, but present) but... bearded lady pretty...

The bending of canon to make it fit makes sense in some areas and not as much in others but I’m waiting until the season ends to see if they tie up these ends neatly before making my final decision on that. Having Elrond go to the dwarves seems like a weird choice when Celebrimbor is literally right there. Shortening the timeline so they don’t keep building up and then killing off characters of less long-lived races does make sense for this specific format.

Personally I think the only way to have avoided that problem would be for it to be less inter-connected ASOIAF-style and more Silmarillion-style. So like, an entire season spent on Beren and Luthien, an entire season spent on Turin, and entire season spent on the War of Wrath, etc. That being said I think that would have appealed to a much more narrow audience as the Silmarillion is well known to be the least appealing of the “widely known” books (being Silmarillion, Hobbit, and the LOTR trilogy) to new fans due to how dense, dry, lore-heavy, and flowery it is. It’s also harder for new fans to understand how everything connects without spending quite a long time on the ol “yeah hey you remember this guy from this episode? well I’m his great great great great great great great grandkid” or “hey you remember this one thing that seemed like a really minor detail? SURPRISE it’s a MAJOR PLOT POINT now” So I think no matter how you tell the story of literally anything from the Second Age, there will be complaints to how that translates to the screen considering Tolkien never wrote for the screen and never expected his works to be adapted let alone in this manner.

Again, if you watch with the attitude of “inspired by, not 100% word-for-word” similar to how comic book and videogame movies are made, where it’s set in a version of the same world but it’s not exactly true to source, it’s a much more enjoyable watch than if you were expecting everything to be exactly the same because it super will not be.

I’ve heard complaints about the only black elf thus far being a low-class elf (who is currently engaged in a slavery subplot big sigh) but also consider: that’s because most of the high-class elves are directly related to each other. Meaning if one is black they all have to be. And considering Tolkien fanboys are already shitting themselves about a single original character being black, can you imagine the pushback if the entire Noldorian line was black? Also that would directly fall into a different antiblack trope because the bulk of the Noldor have bright red, blonde, or silver hair which relies on the “dark skin but eurocentric features” trope. And then if you change that, you get people raising hell that Galadriel’s “golden hair that shines so brightly it looks like the light of the Two Trees is contained within” was changed to brown or black. But then if you don’t make her black but do make other characters directly related to her black...

While I do think there should be more speaking black characters, and especially more black elves among what Amazon is calling the “watchmen” since there’s more room to play with that than the Noldor because, as said, everyone’s related to each other for that clan, the complaint that there are only a handful of black characters is sort of lost on me. There’s dozens of shades of brown in the crowds of people. The speaking characters could use more diversity, but the world itself is more diverse than is being implied. And, to be quite frank, more diverse than Tolkien’s writings or literally any adaption of them.

HOWEVER I do agree that it’s a little yikes that the only black elf is currently engaged in a slavery subplot. I mean yeah Sauron did do shit like that, and orcs are technically super fucked up elves so he needs fresh, er, “breeding stock” as it were, but really you gotta throw your only black elf into it? He did get some moments of being a badass and in fairness there’s white elves enslaved with him but. Still a little yikes. Hopefully he will break free and continue to be a badass, honestly I’m so normal about him, really the blorbification level is at an all time low, I can be normal about an AfroLatino elf truly I’m incredibly normal about this man.

[coopsgirl]

Rings of Power review - Ep 2 (this contains spoilers)

The second ep of Rings of Power has the opening title sequence and it shows grains of sands moving to form shapes.

I can't help but feel this looks familiar, like I've seen it before. Oh yeah, I have in the opening credits for Foundation (starring the wonderful Lee Pace).

The 'not hobbit's' accents are really bad. They are overdoing it and hamming it up like they are trying too hard to seem 'folksy'.

Khazad-dum looks fine and the dwarf designs/costumes are some of the best of the show but none of the females have beards and exec producer Lindsey Weber said at Comic Con when she was asked about this, that some of them did. Maybe they'll turn up later I guess.

One of the 'not hobbits' asks another one to lend her a foot (instead of a hand) and I nearly hurt myself cringing so hard. I've heard spoilers that there are a lot of foot jokes/puns and if they as "good" as that one, then we are really in trouble.

Galadriel finds the raft with Halbrand and other survivors of a sea serpent attack and they bicker whether they should help her because they don't have many rations. One woman says she doesn't look dangerous and Halbrand says "looks can be deceiving". That's funny if the rumors are true that he is Sauron. But I don't think they meant it to be funny. The monster attacks their raft and that was the most exciting thing I've seen so far. It was filmed well and was tense but it was a very short scene. I'm glad that you can't see her nipples through the wet dress. In the still photos it looked like you could and that's just tacky for these characters and this world.

Do they not make combs or brushes in Middle Earth? Granted this is after a rock breaking contest but he also looked this way when it started.

We find out that Durin (pictured above) is mad at Elrond because Elrond missed his wedding and the birth of his kids and the dude gets so upset he's nearly in tears but he just comes off as sounding very whiny and pathetic not hurt. Apparently Elrond had been gone for 20 years and Durin says that may be the blink of an eye to an elf (Gee, where have I heard that before?) but it's a lifetime to him. Dwarves, though not immortal, have much longer lifespans than people so that doesn't make a lot of sense. His wife, Disa, does have a few whiskers but they don't really stand out. I'll give them credit for one good line when Elrond says, "where there is love it is never truly dark".

The scene where the orc comes out from hiding under the floor of Bronwyn's house looks cool and it feels like something from a horror film. It's the scene I liked best from either of the first two eps. The orc costume is cool and because it's a real person it looks good and the movements are eerie and creepy. In fact, if this was a fantasy/horror movie about these characters and their situation (village nearby mysteriously burned but all the bodies are missing, poisoned livestock, and monsters on the loose) I think it would have been more interesting. It's not enough though for me to want to slog through the rest of this season just for an interesting subplot. It's strange too that they came up with something original and interesting here but the rest is so dull and boring.

I'm not sure I'll watch the other eps. I'm not attached to any of the characters and don't think I'll miss anything. If I hear about something really bad/unintentionally funny I might check in but otherwise this show for me is dead in the water.

#rings of power #rings of power sucks #not tolkien #why is this show so boring?

[elfsear]

finally watching LOTR Rings of Power. it’s just okay. i’m enjoying the [interpretation of] past events in middle earth, esp cuz I just love more lore and I didn’t get a chance to read the Silmarillion or Sons of Hurin yet. But idk I’m especially not really a fan of the aesthetic choices they’re going for in some places.

high me nitpicking in an only generally informed way below lol

first of all I think the modern, short haircuts they have on the elven men just look straight up stupid. the elves all having long hair just makes sense for so many reasons. looks way more mythical, as something really basic first. the elves would have obviously progressed past such hardline gendered aesthetic differences like that. also yeah just looks way too modern in a way that takes me out of the universe. Really feels like just it’s own show, not necessarily an extension of the tolkien universe.

i’m now remembering a friend of mine actually told my they liked the show more once they detached it in their brain from being a tolkien thing and just thought of it as it’s own thing…. hm

another thing.. they really did the stupid “sexifying” the female character trope with the dwarves. like….. dwarf women are supposed to be rumored by outsiders to be nearly indistinguishable from the men, especially with their beards. disa’s character has little ~dainty~ sideburns… that’s not a fucking beard. also doesn’t even look like they put the exaggerated prosthetics on her either. can’t let the female characters be “ugly”!!!!!!! so stupid

#i am high #most of this is mindless #whatever #lotr #lotr rings of power #i guess i’ll keep watching #idk

[joeyskattebo]

Holy Reunion part 3

“Wow, those are beautiful!” Tryissii said as she stops walking to stare at the tiny creatures playing in the forest sky; she wearing her favorite pink and purple dress.

“You want to stay away from those creatures, they are Pixies and are very powerful sorcerers and very mischievous,” said her friend Zippy who is a Dwarf with long brown hair and a long beard, and was wearing a brown cloak.

“But they are so small.”

“Yes but they have the most powerful magic in all of Sori”, said Zippy in his usual deep voice.

“Alright Zippy, I’ll be careful” Tryissii said making eye contact with Zippy. Within five minutes the class reached a clearing in the forest and in the distance at the other size of the field of jade plants she saw a giant long necked blue dinosaur.

“That’s incredible!” said one of her classmates. No one in the class had ever a creature so giant in their lives and all of them had seen their fair share of giants. They started to notice that the dinosaur was slowly coming towards them and Choy, who was of the Thelil people said:

“Everyone go back into the forest, I am going to go meet them,” she said as she put up the hood of her cloak.

“Them?” Tryissii asked.

“Yeah, there is an Elf riding that dinosaur,” Choy said looking at Tryissii before she started to make her way towards them. She then uses her magic to fly at a running pace across the field not only to speed up time but to show this stranger she is of the Thelil. The Elf riding the dinosaur was Peteon and he was intimidated because he was always frightened of the Thelil. He is wearing a long flowing white shirt and brown pants with black boots. Peteon had been to Casle and when he went the Thelil cities he never could fully relax; he knew the vast powers of the Thelil and it had always worried him.

“Hello,” Peteon said to Choy as she lands in front of his Dinosaur.

“Hello, I am here as a Teacher teaching a study aboard course and I was wondering if you could show us around, since I only have been here a few times.”

“Sure,” Peteon said kind of hesitantly.

“Great,” Choy said with a smile. And just as she got done saying that she flew to the top of his Dinosaur and sat next to him then lifted the dinosaur with her powers and took it across the field.

“Aaah,” went the Dinosaur who is frightened of heights, and is suddenly higher in the sky than the mountains.

“It’s ok Majifitti,” Peteon said petting the base of her neck, he himself is just as afraid.

“We’re almost there,” Choy said in a comforting voice. She then lands them to safety at the other side of the field.  The class waited patiently in the forest as Choy said, and watched with excitement as the dinosaur floated across the field. Once they landed they left the forest and crowded around Choy, Peteon, and the dinosaur. Everyone notices how cute Peteon is but nobody noticed how nervous he as expect for Tryissii. ‘Why is he so nervous’ she thought to herself; Peteon and Choy then lead the class across the clearing and deep into the forest until the sun went down. When this happened Choy lit torches for everyone using her magic. Soon after she did that, they continued down the path until they find a large bush of wide light green ferns with what appeared to be pink feathers that were growing off of it; once Choy sees this bush she runs towards it:

“Here they are!” She starts to pick the pink feathery leafs and then puts them into a pipe.

“What are you doing Teacher?” asked a female Fawn student. Fawns are short and have bodies covered in brown fur, hooves, light skin and little horns on the top of their head; she is wearing a white toga. She stands and stares at Choy with an ever surprised look.

“Well Purtella, this is Roven fruit and if you smoke it, you feel very relaxed and have mystical visions.” She then takes a large hit of the pipe it down very gently onto a rock then laid beside her; Choy then rolls up her cloak sleeves revealing a tattoo of a three legged crow on her forearm. She can feel the effects of Roven fruit immediately; the relaxed feeling of her soul starts to lift her out of her body; she starts to see the tops of all the trees and people in the sky with only half of a body, and birds with people’s heads on them. While Choy is experiencing this; some of the students are frightened by their teacher’s behavior. Choy passed the pipe to Peteon who declines it and passes the pipe to Zippy who takes a large hit who passes the pipe to Tryissii who takes a smaller hit. Zippy started to see giant sharks flying in the forest, and flowers rapidly growing out of the ground. Tryissii starts to see the trees as well as everyone in their class sway back and forth dramatically though slowly, expect for Peteon who remains still and unmoving. The pipe continues to be passed and smoked until the bowl is finished. After everyone comes down, Choy then packs a large amount of Roven fruit into her traveling sack. and then tells class the plans for the night:

“Alright everyone Peteon has graciously decided to have everyone spend the night in his house! We will be arriving there any minute now; it is the house at the top of this next hill!” Within a few minutes the class have arrived at Peteon's large wooden house that is painted green and blue.

 “Everyone, please make yourselves at home, is anyone hungry, I can provide you all with diner.”  Mostly everyone raised their hands since it had been a long day. Peteon then made everyone a large dinner of griffin steaks and dragon wings, along with a salad of morterberry leaves and holster lettuce, which are particularly healthily. Everyone waits in the living room and talks amongst themselves while he prepares diner because he insisted on making it himself. After he was done making diner he set all the food out on a giant wooden table where everyone came to sit. Tryissii made sure to sit down next to Peteon. While everyone ate, Tryissii and Peteon who are sitting across from each other get to know each other:

“So you have never left Joron?”

“I do on occasion, for a vacation every now and then,” he said with a smile.

 “This is my first time leaving Alayssio and this place is beautiful,” she said smiling as well.

“Where is that?”

“It’s a large underwater city a little south of Beingo.”

[oimoi-op]

Love to see folks bitching about TROP because it’s not “lore accurate” or doesn’t look Tolkienesque or gives off WoT/GoT vibes while said folks are also making direct comparisons to the Peter Jackson movies of all things, like yes there are actual things to be wary of regarding the series but noooooo they just have to be clowns that bring up the fucking movies as though they were the pinnacle of faithfulness to the source material lol

#tolkienposting #the rings of power #oimoi rants about pointless fandom bullshit #i don't mean all criticisms are like this or that everyone in the fandom is like this ofc. this is regarding a specific trend in #specific parts of the fandom that i've seen that i think is immature at best and *incredibly* iffy at worst #like if you hate amazon and therefore hate it bc it's amazon then that's valid. good for you i suppose #but going insane over lack of female dwarf bears while bringing up the dwarf women from the hobbit movies (where there aren't any major #characters who are female dwarves and not every female dwarf is shown with a beard) is kida ridiculous #like yeah would it be cool if disa had a beard in the promo poster? yes ofc #but nitpicking over physical appearance can lead down a. uh. bad path #like i've already seen people going from ''why doesn't disa have a beard?'' to ''why's she black FORCED DIVERSITY SHOVED DOWN MY THROAT!'' #so like. i'm not saying everyone annoyed with the costuming is racist ofc bc that wouldn't be true in the slightest #i just get wary when folks whine about new elf character's hair and then talk about the long hair from the white elves in the movies #(y'all who're bringing up actual cool concept art/cosplays are aight ofc) #overall most of the criticisms 1 feel v shallow 2 are based on folks preferring the (lore inaccurate!) movies and 3 are seriously tiptoeing #the line between wanting to respect the source material and wanting things to look a certain way bc you don't like that trop's not all white #tho again it's specifically a group not the fandom as a whole. ain't saying otherwise so send me angry dms or asks lol

[the-butterfly-blues]

Handsome Dwarf

Pairing: Kíli x Female Reader Summary: Going out for some drinks, Fíli and Kíli join in on a celebration. Sadly, the older of the two has more luck wooing the ladies as the younger is faced with insults about his appearance. Luckily, a gorgeous woman stands amidst the crowd that doesn’t care about the length of his beard. Word Count: 943

In the Blue Mountains, the future princes would sneak out to drink in a nearby town. Doing so at the moment, they hadn't expected some kind of celebration to be going on. They didn't know what it was about, but they did know that booze was being passed around and ladies were dancing. Grabbing drinks, they sit back to look over everything for a moment before moving to flirt. Though, both Fíli and Kíli are handsome, the older of the two has the most luck as the other keeps getting shut down.

"Is that really a dwarf?" "Can't be. He has no beard." "They pride themselves on their beards, don't they?" "Yeah. I think he's just a short man or something." "That'd explain it."

The whispers only continue to get worse as they focus on his stubble. Clenching his jaw, he steps back from the crowd to try and find his brother, wanting to leave. He wouldn't force Fíli to leave, but the least he could do is let his brother know that he'll be headed home. When scanning the crowd, a gorgeous woman catches his eye. She stands with two other woman as a few men try to flirt with them. Shaking his head lightly, he believes that he has no chance as the comments of his facial hair continue around him. Soon, he spots his brother, just past the beautiful woman and her friends. Taking a deep breath, he stands tall before he starts making his way through the crowd to his brother.

"There's that dwarf we were telling you about." "Yeah, the one without a beard. Can you believe that?" "A dwarf without a beard? It sounds like a fairy tale, right?"

Kíli's self-esteem only continues to fall as he passes the woman and her supposed friends.

"That's him? Right there?"

She questions, looking down at the dwarf who freezes in place once their eyes meet. Kíli is partially shocked that she'd taken notice of him and wishes to know what's going on behind those dazzling eyes of hers. He'd never seen someone so beautiful with such an angelic voice. Blinking rapidly for a moment to shake herself from her stupor, she sends him a smile and holds up a finger, silently telling him that she'd only be a moment. She turns on her heel with crossed arms and though he can't see her expression, he can tell that she's upset.

"You two should be ashamed of yourselves! Speaking so rudely about a man you don't even know? I'd love to stoop to your level, but frankly, I'd rather spend my time with someone more meaningful."

Turning back around, he watches as she gracefully makes her way to him, still shocked that she had noticed him of all people in a crowd as large as this.

"I'm terribly sorry for them and, well, everyone else. They shouldn't be speaking ill of someone without talking to them first. My name is [Name]." "Kíli. My name is Kíli."

For the first time, he's at a loss for words as he can't even think of a witty comment. In a sea of insults, she had come to rescue him.

"Kíli? It suits you. A handsome name for an even more handsome dwarf."

His cheeks flush an obvious red, causing her to laugh lightly, but not condescendingly. In fact, he’d love to hear it again as it sounds heavenly, like a harp’s strings being plucked perfectly or a fiddle being played flawlessly.

“Is it safe to assume you’ve come on your own? No dwarrowdam I have to worry about?” “No, no, I came here with my brother. I’ve no lady.” “Well, that surely is a relief!” “Why is it a relie-”

Before he can finish his question, she’s gently grabbed his handle and has begun pulling him towards the music where people dance freely. She makes sure that her grip on his hand is loose enough so he can easily pull away if he doesn’t wish to dance with her, though he makes no effort to stop her. Instead, he moves quick enough to walk beside her, flashing her a bright grin despite his cheeks still being tinged red. The night continues on joyously for the black-haired dwarf as [Name] never leaves his side, happily dancing, drinking, and talking with him. Once the celebration has calmed down and most people have gone home, the two must say their goodbyes. They stand together, holding each other’s hands as if they wish they didn’t have to part.

“I believe this has been one of the best nights of my life thanks to you.” “I’m glad to hear that.”

Silence falls around them as they simply stare into one another’s eyes, taking this time to further memorize each other so that they’ll never forget.

“Will I see you again?” “You will. I promise.” “I’ll hold you to that. As much as I hate it, you should go before your brother becomes impatient.”

Releasing her hands, Kíli turns to join his brother in their walk home, but is quickly stopped as he’s spun back towards her. He can feel a sudden pressure on his lips and it takes him a moment to comprehend exactly what’s happening. Closing his eyes, he leans into the kiss as her hands gently cup his cheeks and his own find purchase on her hips, pulling her closer. Though they part, their noses still gently touch.

“Take care, handsome dwarf.”

With a final peck on his lips, she leaves him with a smile, waving one last time as she rounds a corner, leaving Fíli to deal with his flustered and starstruck brother.

#the hobbit #female reader insert #reader insert #fili and kili #kili x reader #kili

[telewaywashere]

My take on the Amazon RoP series

I wanted to like this show. I really did, but there’s just some things that aren’t worth supporting after a certain point. First? The VF article. They straight up call fans “trolls” for wanting a faithful adaptation. That is one of the dumbest business angles you can do with well beloved huge things like Hobbit/LotR/Silm. There’s millions of people all around the world of all walks of life who love this, and you go and call them “trolls”? Yeah. Not good. Yes, there’s a certain percentage (although small) that have an issue with race. Most of the fans however do NOT. No. We want to know why a dwarven female has thin, wispy sideburns instead of a glorious beard. We want to know why most, if not all the male elves, have short, modern hairdos. They can’t even do canon characters right. Galadriel with a sword and armor? This is a downgrade while trying to make her “badass”. She was so powerful, she could go on the battlefield without all that. Also the eight-point star on her armor? I can see why people are asking “Why is she wearing a Feanorian star??” I’m honestly just as concerned. Elrond’s “politically ambitious“? Excuse me? And with that hairdo? I am very afraid they’re going to turn him into Trump or something close enough. Then there’s the elf identified as Finrod recently. Please no. That elf was so freaking awesome, he challenged Sauron to a singing match. If you’ve read the books, or have done a quick google search (which is more research then the people at Amazon have done), you’ll see why people are freaking exploding at this. “But why are people so fussy about elf hair?” Simple. It made them stand out in the PJ films from the men. Give them short, modern haircuts, and it’s hard to tell them apart from humans. Also when you have to lift an elf’s hair to see if they have pointy ears or not (as seen in the trailer), you’re doing elves (especially Galadriel) wrong. She should be noticeable from a long distance away. Not up close.  ”But why are people so fussy about a female dwarf having a beard?” Again, simple. Right in the books, it basically says that dwarves of both genders have facial hair from the time of birth. And since this is supposed to be a princess, I expect her to have a better beard then the average dwarf, with metal, jewels, and other fine riches all braided in. Not this poor excuse of facial hair (where you have to alter the picture just to see that it’s there to begin with). And the family OCs...Why the hell does Isildur suddenly have a sister? What purpose could she possibly serve? Why does Galadriel suddenly have another brother named Adar (elvish for “Father” by the way)? Something tells me they’re not going to explain any of this and bitch the instant those of use who even know a tiny bit of the lore ask for their reasons. Just watch. They’re going do double down calling everyone “trolls” and other insults just because we want to know WHY. The way I see it, this is a dumpster fire that will continue to burn.

#lord of the rings #power of the rings