#yeah guess which post i went and took a look at lmao

[il-miele-che-scrive]

Could you do something with Lewis, maybe reader and Lewis have been dating for a while but she’s famous too so they kept things really private, but they got married over the winter break and now the other drivers are finding out

Hello 🫶 lately I've been doing more smaus so I decided to make this one a smau also, hoping you'll like it 🩷

yourusername I still haven't gotten used to seeing myself on those huge ads

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georgerussell63 A supermodel and an actress not being used to seeing herself in ads? 🤨

↳yourusername When was the last time you were walking down the street and saw a picture of you casually hanging on a building? 🤨 Let me tell you it always takes you by surprise, George

carmenmmundt How are you so beautiful? 😭

↳yourusername I love you Carmen 😭

oscarpiastri Good job, Y/n👏

danielricciardo What an abundance of beauty you are

landonorris an amazing day to have eyes

charles_leclerc Can't take my eyes off you

zhouguanyu24 You haven't posted in months and that's what you decided to post?🙄

↳username1 AND SHE ATE

carlossainz55 See you in Vegas soon 👋

tchalamet You busy lately? We haven't been in a movie together for a while

↳username2 Co-star rizz lmao

username3 It's so weird to me how Y/n is the most gorgeous woman I've ever seen and she's SINGLE

↳username4 It's her choice

username3 And she made it while having f1 drivers and timothee casually flirting with her in the comment section

username4 Doesn't seem that much like flirting to me 🤷‍♀️ she's friends with Carmen and George so she's gonna have the drivers in her comments. And Tim is like her bestie

username3 Are you blind 😭 okay maybe Oscar's comment is friendly, but the rest is definitely flirting!!

username4 Whatever feeds your delusions I guess. I don't think she's single, she might just be keeping her relationship super private. Exactly because of fans like you

yourusername Nothing beats a date in Las Vegas

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username1 A DATE. IN VEGAS.

username2 Okay guys, which driver do we think took her on the date?

↳username3 I'm saying Lando, it's a very Lando thing to do

username4 imo he was too busy healing from this terrible crash he had lmao

username5 Plus Lando is too young for her, I'd say Danny Ric

username4 yooo y/n and danny would be a great couple, I hope you're right

username6 Do you guys remember what Carlos commented under her previous post?? "See you in Vegas" or smth

↳username4 yeah but it could be just because she was invited to the paddock

username6 Like usually. But did you ever see any driver say anything like see you there and there before other races?

carmenmmundt YOU WENT ON A DATE?

↳georgerussell63 @/yourusername reply immediately and say who took you

yourusername Mom, dad, I'm terribly sorry I didn't tell you 😭

carmenmmundt This doesn't answer our questions...

↳username1 Help even they didn't know lol

username7 It could be anybody, guys. Y/n has most of the drivers in her likes

↳username2 Then maybe it's someone who isn't in the likes? 🤭

username7 Well, then we have Alonso, Bottas, Hamilton and a few others, it doesn't make it easier

username3 She'll say who it is when they're both ready but I wish it would happen as soon as possible

username9 LMAO none of the guys from the previous post commented now

↳username5 She just subtly told them too f off cuz she's taken 😭

username8 I can't wait until the winter break, I know something is gonna happen...

yourusername He made me get my first tattoo lol

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username1 WHAT?? IS?? HAPPENING??

↳username2 idk looks like miss girl moved, got a tattoo and then decided to travel around 😐

carmenmmundt When are we going to talk about who is "he"?

↳yourusername When the timing is right ✨

georgerussell63 Whoever he is, he's a bad influence on you 🙄

↳yourusername Mom can you tell dad to quit my comment section @/carmenmmundt

username3 Y/n moved to Monaco 😭

↳username4 And how do you know that?

username3 Haven't you heard she was seen there?

username4 And? Celebs love Monaco

username3 Exactly. So she moved there. Possibly with her secret boyfriend

username5 Okay so what we know about Y/n's secret man is they live together in Monaco, he could be an F1 driver and he must have tattoos (because why would he make her get one otherwise?)

↳username6 IT'S DANNY RIC I'M TELLING Y'ALL

username7 Well there's also Hamilton who has quite a lot of tattoos

username8 And Alonso and Stroll, she didn't say how many tattoos her bf has, could be as well one or two

username5 Don't forget some drivers might have them hidden and never spoke about them

username9 To be fair she didn't say if he has any in general lol

danielricciardo What about a party in the new apartment?

↳username6 Yeah, keep telling me it's not him

↳yourusername Most likely when I'm back from my lil vacation

lewishamilton Winter break

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username1 EXCUSE ME

username2 SIR LEWIS HAMILTON, EXPLAIN THE LAST PHOTO

username3 Don't panic, guys, it is me in the 4th pic

username4 I know he's an almost 40 years old man but I'm still shocked

username5 ngl that woman's hand looks familiar...

username6 Not even a tag on the last pic? 😕

username7 Silly season starting early this year 😭

↳username4 Yeah, firstly he dropped the bomb about moving to Ferrari and now THIS

username7 Man said lemme dominate this winter break 🤠

landonorris congrats i guess?

carlossainz55 Unexpected but happy for you!

georgerussell63 I'm calling Toto, you're lucky he doesn't have social media

username8 I can't believe he kept it a secret from all the drivers lol

↳username7 And for so long too!! I mean, you don't marry someone you started dating a month ago, it could've been going on for YEARS

charles_leclerc When will we meet this mysterious lady?

↳lewishamilton I'm sure you all know her well

↳username7 Leclerc better stay away 🤺

username9 You guys don't ever know how sure I am that it's Y/n

↳username10 I won't believe it until they confirm it

username9 Yeah because it's a total coincidence Y/n recently moved to Monaco, got a tattoo because "her bf made her" and also went on a trip

yourusername Shik shak shok

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username1 I KNEW IT I KNEW IT

username2 The couple I never knew I needed

username3 Two fashion icons

username4 Honestly is anyone surprised? Like, okay, unexpected, but I'm not surprised Lewis is dating one of the most famous models/actresses in the world

↳username5 I am surprised tbh 😭 I think a lot of people expected DR3, not LH44

username6 rip to all the drivers who used to hit on Y/n in her comment section 💀

username7 So Y/n is dating LH44 and is best friends with the girlfriend of GR63?

↳username8 She copied her lol

username7 Except Carmen's bf hasn't ever won the world champion title lmao

↳username9 That's a real friendship. Going for drivers from the same team

username10 I need to know how did they mange to keep it a secret for so long 😭

↳username11 Yeah cuz I can't believe even Toto himself had no idea

username12 Something about them being married makes so much sense, I love them

username13 Imagine when we start seeing them doing ads together omg

↳username14 ads? 💀 now that they're out and married I expect lots of content together on both their accounts AND on Drive to survive and just anywhere

username11 tbh who cares about the races, they can just display Y/n on the screen for 2h and I'd watch

y/nhamilton btw we used to date but now we're just married (and thanks @/zhouguanyu24 for keeping our secret)

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carmenmmundt I was just as shocked as the fans

landonorris somehow I'm not surprised Zhou knew

↳username1 And he knew about both THIS and Lewis moving to Ferrari!! And kept quiet both times!

↳charles_leclerc I wonder what else Zhou knows that we don't

username2 Zhou Guanyu is officially the most trustworthy guy on the grid

↳username3 And I thought it'd be Oscar...

username4 Does it mean more iconic Y/n outfits on the paddock? 😍

↳y/nhamilton And matching outfits! 🤭

username2 Oh they're gonna kill it!!

username5 I need a friend like Zhou

zhouguanyu24 You're welcome 😌

↳y/nhamilton 🫶

↳lewishamilton 💜

username6 I never thought about Lewis and Zhou being friends, but...?

username7 in moments like this I go look at the old posts where other drivers would flirt with Y/n lmao

username8 This winter break belongs to Lewis

oscarpiastri Lewis' last name suits you

↳landonorris it would've been funny to see Lew change his last name to hers tho lol

carlossainz55 How long have you been together?

↳y/nhamilton Something like 5 years now

carlossainz55 And none of us knew all this time 😳

y/nhamilton Zhou knew... I've just said that

username9 All the other drivers immediately regretting everything they said under other Y/n's posts hahahah

#f1 fanfic #f1 imagine #f1 x reader #formula 1 x reader #F1 smau #Formula 1 smau #Lewis Hamilton x reader #Lewis Hamilton smau #Lewis Hamilton social media au #Lewis Hamilton imagine #Lewis Hamilton fanfic

[maddipoof]

yeah,,,, sad boy,,,,, anyway

I got this request in like february and then i lost it but it was on anon so i hope it finds whoever requested it even though i bet they don't remember, hey lovely! i LOVED your last post so i was wondering if i could submit a post? ive had this idea for awhile…. A JJ Maybank x kook!reader where JJ just keeps bringing up the fact that the reader and rafe used to have a fling and the reader just breaks down and asks JJ why he keeps bringing it up and JJ tells her its because he saw that Rafe still texts the reader and JJ like demands that the reader blocks Rafe. you can end it however you like! i just like a lot of angst lmao ❤️💋 It should be stated that i did get carried away and forgot a few things but I hope you enjoy <3 WC: 5k, not beta'd

“You’re staring.” You saw JJ looking at you from the other side of the small living room in the chateau. You’d been texting in your group chat with your friends from your old school, since some of them had switched to boarding schools and whatnot, but you caught him out of the corner of your eye.

“I’m not.”

“What are you doing then?”

“Admiring.”

You moved closer to the edge of the couch and made room for him. He jumped on next to you, nearly landing right on top of you. “You’re typing pretty fast. Who’re you talkin’ to?”

You learned in the last few months that you’d been together now that JJ was not the terribly jealous type in public. He was the first guy you’ve dated that understood that if you’re dating a hot girl, there’s no reason she should stop being a hot girl. If anything, he liked it more. He liked that everyone would look at you but you’d always be looking at him. The problem came whenever you took a second to look away. You both knew what it was like to feel insecure, like someone was leading you on for no reason, like there was no trust. 

“Just my friends from school.”

“What about?”

“They’re trying to plan something next Saturday.”

He made a face you couldn’t see but you could feel it from his cheek moving on your shoulder. “What?”

When you looked at him he tried to take a neutral expression. “We’re going out Saturday.”

“I know.” Your voice didn’t match his. He sounded rough and salty, you were smooth and sweet. “That’s why I said ‘they’re’ trying to. My Saturdays are yours.”

“Good.” He pushed up to kiss you then went out to see what Pope and John B were doing outside. 

Kiara had been watching from the kitchen with a curled lip and a raised brow, holding her cold bottle to her chest. She got you one before she came and sat where JJ had just been. “Possessive much?”

“It’s fine.” You dropped the sweetness and just sounded bored. 

“You see him every Saturday?”

“I see him every day. And I guess that includes the days my friends I haven’t seen in 6 months are back in.” You shrugged and rolled your head to the back of the couch after taking a drink. “It’s fine.”

“Why don’t you tell him you want to see them?”

Another shrug, “He’ll ask why I want to go out with some Kooks when I can be with you guys.”

“That’s ridiculous.” She stood up like she was going to walk right out and tell him you’re going, but you pulled her back by the elbow. “What?”

“I’ll talk to him later.”

“Promise?”

You nodded and locked your pinky with hers before going outside. 

***

As Saturday approached, your phone buzzed more and JJ got more…territorial. You put it back on do not disturb and set it down by your leg, the one he wasn’t next to, and went back to watching your feet dangle with the tide slowly rising and the wake of a boat every so often splashing your toes. Adding an occasional kick to watch the way it rippled. The sun was settling behind you like an over-ripe peach. Big and bleeding towards orange, it spilled into the water, sending little arcs of light swimming with every roll of water.

“Who’s going Saturday?”

“Hmm?”

“You’re friends are going out Saturday, which ones?”

“Oh, yeah. Um I don’t think you’d know most of them but like Sarah Cameron, maybe her brother, I don’t know though. Lizzie Callaghan, Riley, Jack. I forget who else.”

“You wanted to go out with Rafe Cameron?” It sounded ugly when he said it like that.

“I wanted to go out with my friends whether or not he was there. I told you I wasn’t going to go since we already made plans that day. It’s fine, we’re both happy with it, don’t worry about it.”

“You don’t seem very happy about it.” He pulled his legs up from the water and his heels left the almost grey old wood of the dock dark with salt water. He pulled his arms around his shins.You thought you’d get through without it being brought up, having spent another day together in the cut. He hated going to your house. Not that he hated your house, he hated how far it was from his, how it was further than distance, it was tax brackets away, worlds away. 

“I haven’t seen them in a while, I’d like to see them soon. I have plans that day, they’ll be back. It’s fine.” Your posture went to shit after you grabbed your phone. Not that it was the best before, when you were looking at the water, but now your arms weren’t holding you up so your back was curled like a shell. Just to check the time and if Sarah or Kie texted you.

“Yeah, cus I’m sure you never get to see Rafe.”

“Jesus Christ, Jay. I told you that we went on 3 dates four years ago,” you slammed the face of your phone on the dock next to you, not the best idea. “He is in college in Massachusetts! So yes, we “dated” when I was 14, and we stayed friendly because his sister is one of my best friends.” You stood up and grabbed your bag on the way, he hardly even moved, just craned his neck and let his view of you be blurred by the sun behind you. “Yes, I would like to see him, but he, and all my other friends, will be here for the whole summer, there’s more than enough time for me to see them any other non-Saturday.” 

“So you still talk?”

“Holy fuck.” You put a hand to your head and turned away for a second. 

“I’m just saying like, you’re my girlfriend. It’s not impossible to think that maybe I don’t want you hanging around with that kind of asshole.”

“What is ‘that kind of asshole’?”

“You know what I mean.”

“I feel like I don’t.”

“I mean he was a classist prick to me and all my friends my whole life,” he finally stood up now, and moved so that he blocked the sun from your eyes.

“When he was fucking 12!”

“What about last year when he crashed me and John B’s party at the boneyard? You remember that right? You and him and all your little kooks came, flocking like fuckin– fucking vultures.”

“Fuck this,” you remembered that night, the two of them got into a fight over a keg, and yes Rafe did make some low blows about him being a pogue from the Cut, but that was a year ago, when he was still using and while he was drunk, he’s still accountable, but he’s not that person anymore. 

You tried to get past him but he made a lame attempt at blocking your way. “I just want to go home, Jay. I don’t want to do this anymore.” You looked at him now and saw the way his face went from annoyed to apologetic. 

“That’s ok, hey, that’s fine. We don’t have to talk about it anymore.” He tried smoothing your hair back and letting his hand coast down to your neck but you moved away. “Just let me drive you home.”

“I don’t want– I’m fine, I’ll call Sarah. Just– Please.”

“Please what? I don’t know what you want.”

“I want you to stop. I want this to stop.”

“I don– honey, what do you mean?”

“I mean I can’t even breathe around you like this. It’s– It’s suffocating, Jay. I love you, you know that. I don’t know why you can’t just believe it too.” He let you walk away after that. What more was there to say. 

***Saturday***

Since you got together, the last 3 days have been the longest JJ’s gone without seeing you. He was laying on the pull out sofa backwards, his head dropped down over the foot of the bed, not caring that the mattress has sunk over the years and the black metal bar was digging into the back of his neck. He knew he shouldn’t let his pen go upside down, but he needed the distraction, he blew it down trying to fight the cloud from going up before it evaporated. 

Kiara was cross legged on the other couch, tapping through her friends’ snap stories. She still had some of the people you went to school with added. “Hey J,” she said.

“Hmm?” 

“Have you seen Sarah’s story?”

“Why would I see Sarah’s story?”

“I don’t know. You want to?”

“Not really.” He flipped over so the front of his throat was on the bar and he let out a long groan before he fixed his position. 

“She’s lookin awfully comfy up with Sarah.” He knew who she ment by “she.”

“Lemme see.”

“I’m not moving, you come here.”

He groaned again when he flipped off over the couch, like an old man. 

Kie swiped it back to the beginning and he saw the progression of you and some other girls in the back of one of their brand new broncos. The roof was off and the next one was a boomerang of your big smiles and hair blowing wild. Then another of you all at lunch, the waiter must have taken it of you. Some of your food, then the sky with your hand pointing to a cloud and your voice saying “That one looks like a chameleon. I’m telling you, look at it.” “What are you talking about?” It sounded like Rafe but Sarah kept it pointed at the sky. “You’re looking at it wrong.” It panned down to you standing behind Rafe, taking him by the shoulders and turning him in the right direction. “That looks like a dog.” It ended with you slapping him on the arm. 

The next story was Riley’s, Sarah’s cousin, after the few Kiara skipped through of just the restaurant, there was one of you and Sarah dancing in the street. It looked like it you were still just outside the restaurant, one with an overt theme of a European café. There was a street performer with his open guitar case in front of his stool, his instagram handle on a piece of cardboard tapped to the back of it. In the background, behind you two spinning each other around, it looked like Rafe threw some money in there and then said something to the busker. The next video was of Rafe playing a song that had you all laughing and spinning together. He looked away when he saw you turn your head to look at him. 

He looked different than the last time he saw him, healthier, he lost that faraway look he used to have in his eyes. He looked good, and you looked like you liked it. 

Kiara turned off her phone and shifted to look at him better. “Doesn’t matter.” She put her hand over his, “She’s just happy he’s doing better, that has nothing to do with how she feels about you.”

“I know that, I know. I just– fuck, I ruined it.”

“You didn’t ruin anything, you fucked it up a little bit, but not ruined.”

“I don’t want her to hate me.”

“I don’t think she has it in her to hate anyone, especially you.”

***The Cameron House***

Your day ended with a backyard camp out just like you used to do as kids. After all the tents were set up and Riley and Sarah kicked the boys out, you made your 9 person tent into a 5 girl paradise. There was an honest fear in all of you that all your sunset lamps and starry night projectors would overwhelm even the industrial powerstrips, but Sarah assured you, as she plugged in the fourth fan, that it’d all be fine. It was like sitting in a sunset. Pinks and peaches and bubbly orange colors everywhere you looked. Fluffy duvets lined every inch of the floor and there was no escape from all the pillows. Memoryfoam, down, throw, body, king size, every kind of pillow you could imagine stolen from every room in the house. You were between Lizzie and Sarah with Riley and Wheezie across from you. 

You always used to have a camp fire before you went back to your tents, and by the time you noticed that the sun was beginning to set from your captured sky in the tent, Rafe and the three other boys had gotten it started. 

Lizzie was handing you everyother s’more she made, which really meant that she messed every other one up and gave it to you when she didn’t want it. You were on your second when Rafe noticed you looking cold and holding your hands in front of the fire and elbowed Sarah to go get you a sweater or something. She came back and apologized if it was the wrong size, it was Rafe’s that he grew out of 4 years ago and she never grew into length-wise. “Have another, have another.” Lizzie was trying to bring another s’more to your lips. 

“I can’t, I’ll be sick if I have any more.”

“Ugh, you’re no fun.” You knew she was joking when she knocked her shoulder into yours.

“No, you’re the one trying to kill me.”

“Death by s’mores?”

“It’s an epidemic.” Wheezie said as she popped another perfectly goldened marshmallow into her mouth.

You gave Lizzie a look then moved to the bench at the side of the fire where the smoke wasn’t blowing. The only open seat was between Rafe and Jack. Let’s just hope that no one posts anything else tonight. 

“Sick of the s’mores?” Jack asked you.

“Yeah, the perfect goop in the middle can only make the charred black shell on the outside worth it so many times before it’s just not.”

“Pull it off then,” Rafe suggested.

“And lose the exhilarating crunch? Never.”

Rafe shrugged, knowing you were just going to keep going in circles, just for fun, and reached over the arm of the bench to offer you something from the cooler. “Surprise me.”

“Close your eyes then.”

“Why?”

“It needs to be a real surprise. If I got something you don’t like you’d just have me put it away and get you something else. Where’s the surprise in that?”

“Hmph.” You closed your eyes and opened your hand to accept the can, the condensation was dripping into the place where your thumb meets your hand and whatever he gave you tasted like fizzy lemon and basil. You hummed trying to figure it out without opening your eyes, in the end you gave up and read the label anyway. “I’m not gonna get high off of this, right?”

“It’s CBD.”

“I don’t know what you’re giving me.”

“I gave you a seltzer.”

“With CBD.”

“Would you be making as big a deal as this if I gave you a beer or something?”

You shrugged and he went to take your can away and replace it with a corona. “Wooah, woah, woah, who said I was done with that?”

“You.”

“No. It was good.”

“Good.” He let go and you took another sip. You took another look around at the fire and everyone around it then brought one leg up to hug against yourself. “So how’ve you been?”

“I’m alright. You?”

“Better than I’ve been in a while.”

“That’s good, I’m really happy for you.”

“Thanks…yeah.” He cracked open another can of seltzer, just a regular one. “So I hear you’re going out with that Maybank kid.”

“Don’t call him that, you know his name.”

“Sorry, JJ. How long?”

“A few months. 6 actually.”

“And he let you come out with me?”

“He didn’t let me. I dom’t need anyone to let me do anything.”

“I’m sorry, I just meant–”

“It’s fine, sorry. It’s fine.”

“Should I apologize to him?” He was looking at you but you were just looking at the fire, Jack had left you by then to put out a flaming marshmallow.

“For what?”

“I don’t know, being a dick to him for however long.”

“Probably.” You looked at him now and he looked sincere enough for you to want to continue the conversation. 

“You know that I was really in a bad place then, right? Like using every chance I got, just being a dick and having no idea what I was doing?”

“I know. Doesn’t excuse it though.”

“I know that, I do. Which is why I want to apologize. And I’m not just gonna blame my dad either though, like I should have known better than to just regurgitate all the shit he was telling be about the Cut and pogues and whatever, all that shit that doesn’t matter.”

“Yeah, I get that.” You turned so you could face him too, your leg was still up on the bench between you two.

“And I wanted to apologize to you too. I was a complete asshole to you that whole time too. I was so stupid and I shouldn’t have been messing with you when you were like 14.”

You took a deep breath before you said anything. You never really had any strong feelings about when you “dated” before, whenever you thought back to it you thought it was all just because you were young and didn’t know any better. Now that he’s saying this though, it just floods your memory of all the times he tried manipulating you into things you weren’t ready for. You never gave in and eventually he gave up and found some other girl that’d fall for the flash of an amex faster than a smile, but you never actually fell that hard to feel any overwhelming feelings about it. “Can I hug you?”

“Really?” Obviously not the reaction he was expecting. 

“Mhm.” He leaned in and you rubbed one hand up and down his back a few times. “I forgive you.”

“For real?”

“You’re trying to be better, I believe it.”

***The Chateau***

“JJ, no!” Kiara tried to go after him before John B blocked his way out the front door.

Clearly, someone was posting more videos than you knew about. Kie and JJ were just watching baby sensory videos, the ones with the bouncing vegetables, when she got a post notification. “You wanna look at it?”

He shrugged for the thousandth time that night. “Sure.”

And there was the flaming marshmallow melting on the stone and one of them trying to stomp it out with their $50 flip flop… and you in the background, first with you looking into Rafe’s eyes. Next with your arms around him and his face turned into your neck. Whether he was talking or anything else meant nothing to JJ. 

John B was enough to stop him even if he kept trying to push him out of the way. “The fuck is wrong with you, man?”

“She’s supposed to be with me, ok?” He was angry but they heard the hurt underneath. “She’s supposed to be with me and I keep– I keep fucking it up.” He beat a weak fist on John B’s chest before he took him into his arms. 

“You didn’t. You didn’t. Listen, listen, hey,” JJ finally pulled back to let John B look at him. “We’ll have her over tomorrow, yeah? Have her over, you guys can talk and figure it out?” JJ was shaking his head. “What? What is it?”

“She doesn’t want me. I fucked it all up and she doesn’t want me anymore.”

“What are you talking about?”

“Kie, show him the thing.”

“What thing?”

“Jay, I don’t think–”

“Just show him the video.”

She went through it and showed John B, she pointed out you and Rafe. “See?” JJ was about to cry again, so John B pulled him back in like a little kid.

“We’ll have her over tomorrow.”

***The Cameron House***

The fire was dying out and you and Sarah were the last ones out. Everyone else was sleeping, or at least laying down in their tents. 

“You’re still with JJ?”

“Mhm,” You nodded and took another sip from your sprite. “Actually, I don’t know. It’s been weird.”

“What do you mean?” She moved closer to your side. 

“He didn’t want me coming, first because we had a date set, then because he’s still banged up about Rafe and the stuff he used to do. Also because of the 4 dates we went on when I was like 12.” She knew you meant 14, semantics. She hated those 4 weeks, they were miserable. 

“But you still came?”

“Mhm, I haven’t seen him since Tuesday.”

“But–”

“He hates your brother.”

“He’s not the only one. But he’s gotten better.”

“I know he has, he apologized to me earlier tonight.”

“So he–”

“He want’s to apologize to JJ too. Sorry, I didn’t mean to interrupt you, I just…”

“It’s ok, I get it.”

“Thank you. I don’t want to mess it up with him. It’s been going so well, and he’s so wonderful when he wants to be. He’s just…he’s everything and I love it but I just can’t stand it when he gets all weird about coming to my house, he never wants to meet any of you guys or come anywhere near figure 8. I don’t feel bad about what I have, and I don’t pity him for what he has, but I just wish it didn’t matter. Like I wish no one ever told him that he’s just a ‘dirt broke pogue’ or that he’s gonna end up like his dad. He could do so so much if he wanted and I just want him to know that. I don’t want anything to hold him back and I just want to give him the whole world and make him happy but I know he won’t take it,” She put an arm around you and rubbed your shoulder that was against her chest with her other hand. You hiccuped a sob before you realized it and took a breath to collect yourself. “I don’t know if he thinks he isn’t worth it, or he doesn’t deserve it because he isn’t worth it, but I– Fuckin christ, I just want him to be ok.” Your cry became a whine like a little kid’s that doesn’t know how to get their feelings out any other way. Sarah was holding you as close as she could and rocking you side to side as you tried to decide if it would be better to just let it all out now, or try to breathe again. 

“You wanna go see him?”

“What?” You pulled back and wiped the few streaks of tears from her cheeks, you didn’t feel like you were worth crying for at the moment. 

“Do you want to go see him?” She pulled the cuff of her sweater up to wipe over your cheeks then under your nose. 

“What do you–Like right now?”

“Yes, come on,” she shook your shoulder just a bit. “We’ll take the car, go to his house.”

“Not his house. John B’s.”

“John B’s then. You want to?”

You let her pull you up from the bench and towards your shoes before you gave yourself a second to think about it.

***

The streets were nearly dead besides the few college kids speeding by you or a few pick up trucks on their way to work in the other direction. 

You caught your face in the sideview mirror, tear stained and puffy but weirdly ethereal with the way the watery tracks sparkled in the street lights you were passing at lightning speed. You looked at yourself a little too hard before you realized how ridiculous this whole thing was. 

“What the fuck are we doing?”

“What? No, no, hey, come on, don’t back out now!”

“Sarah, it’s past 2 am, this is just, god it’s so desperate.”

“I am not turning this car around.”

“I’ll jump out the window.”

“You will not!”

You looked back at where you came from, woods, long, straight, not worth the walk in any direction. “Fine.”

“Prepare yourself, we’ll be there in like 5 minutes.” With her driving, 5 became 2 and you were barely halfway though your imagined version of how this would go. 

She parked but didn’t turn the car off yet. “The lights,” you hissed at her. “You’ll wake them up.”

“And who do you want to answer the door then?” She pulled the key out and went to the front door before you could get out of your seatbelt.

Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock

“Jesus christ, Sarah,” You pulled her arm down. “You want them to think we’re a SWAT team?”

****

They ran out of drinks 4 hours ago so Kie and John B were playing an embarrassing game of cup pong with some probably a little bit expired sprite they found at the back of the fridge. Pope was showing JJ a nature he hoped would be a good enough distraction, he was getting very invested in the baby elephant’s journey, which they thought was a good sign.

Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock

All their heads shot up from whatever they were doing, it could really be anyone. Too many people trying to find them, not enough with any boundaries or respect for their circadian rhythms.

John B took a step to the door, “Wait,” JJ said, “It could be Luke.” John B nodded and JJ went into the bathroom and locked the door. 

Pope walked behind John B and nearly jumped out of his skin when another round of loud knocks came, followed by a harsh “Sarah!”

They looked at each other in confusion then opened the door.

You were there holding Sarah by the wrist, she had her fist raised to knock again, “Hi,” she said before she remembered to put his arm down. He stood to his full height and she was nothing short of stunned. I thought this was about me?! You rolled your still teary eyes and stepped forward just a little. “Can I see him?” you asked gently, knowing you were in no position to be making any demands.

“Do you really think–” –that’s a good idea, is what he was going to say in that careful tone, not wanting to hurt you or JJ, or over step on your relationship but still trying to protect his friend, doing too much at once.

“Yes.” 

There was really no room for any more arguments, he stood back to the side to let you past and you went to the bathroom door. Two gentle knocks, “JJ, I– Can we– I–” you were half a second from turning back to Sarah, crying again saying ‘I can’t do it’ but he opened the door and pulled you inside; and maybe you shouldn’t have, but you grabbed both his hands, holding them in a way that his forearms were close against your chest, maybe the weight would calm your heart down. 

“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry.” He moved his hands to the sides of your neck, his thumbs in the space under your ear, just under your jaw. Your hands held his wrists instead. “I don’t want to fight, I saw you and Rafe and I fucking– I saw my whole life without you and I didn’t want it.”

“No, no, don’t be sorry. I don’t want you sorry, don’t be sorry.” You brushed his hair away from his sticky forehead, “I should have listened better, I should thought about what you wanted. I just want to give you everything and the feeling that I couldn’t even give you a Saturday, I–”

“It’s not your fault, I shouldn’t have asked you to chose, I don’t want you to chose between my life or yours, ok? Pick yours everytime, don’t drag yourself down for me.”

“No, no. There’s no my life or your life. Not to me, right? There’s just ours.”

‘Our life.’

“I love you,” he had to say.

“I love you too, and I never want to do that again.”

“Do what?”

“I don’t want to not see you or hear from you for 3 days, and I don’t want to have to decipher your feelings, I want you to tell me the truth. Even if you think I won’t like it.”

“I can do that, I can do all of that.” He was trying to talk fast, the faster he talked the faster he could kiss you, kiss all the feelings he didn’t know how to tell you into you. 

He moved in but you moved your head back before his lips reached yours, “Wait.”

“What? What is it?”

“I need to know that you’re not gonna do that again, I need to really know.”

“I promise, I promise you, babe, anything you want.”

“But how do I know you’ll keep it?”

“I mean it.” He took your hands again. 

“But can you–”

“Every day, I’ll prove it every day.”

“You swear?”

“On my honor as a Pogue.”

“Hmm,” you leaned into his humor now that you knew he meant it.

“What? You doubt my honor?”

“Only a little.”

“Then I swear on John B’s life. If I ever ever make you feel like I don’t care about you or like you’re doing something wrong, I will personally deliver you his heart in my hand.”

“Ugh, so graphic!”

“How else will you know I mean it?”

You moved your hand up his arm and wrapped your arms around his neck, “I love you.”

“I love you too.”

#jj maybank #jj mayback x reader #obx #jj maybank x kook!reader #jj maybank x reader #jj maybank x you #jj maybank x y/n #jj x reader #obx fic #obx x reader #obx fanfiction #jj maybank imagine #jj maybank angst #angst #x reader angst #mara's fics

[kanmom51]

Run BTS Mini field day - Part 2

Part 2 of part 2...

Cr./to the creators of media used in this post.

So, where were we?

Oh, yes, slippery soccer.

Let the games begin.

On the right we have the blue team - JM, RM, Hobi and Suga.

On the left we have the red team - Tae, Jin and JK.

Now let's just have at it, cause hectic is too calm of a word to call what went on there, lol.

There's no way I can describe everything that went on there, and I don't intend to. I will also not share who won this round.

Like I said GO WATCH IT. It's definitely worth it.

What I will do is share some moments with you all. Cute moments. Funny moments. Lovely moments.

So, let's get it.

I guess there will be no forgetting that name for JM in the near future, lol.

I think, although this isn't by order of things happening in the episode, that I will start with Jin and his cahoonas.

Cause why not?

If only for the comic effect...

JK's reaction. 🤣 🤣

After all, this is serious business we're talking about.

JM was finding it hard to stay up on his feet, lol.

And there's more.

I did tell you we had butt slapping, didn't I?

Well I also gave you the first installment of it in my post a couple of days ago.

But there was more butt.

Hey, no complaining. I didn't say it was all tuppy tuppy handsy handsy.

Ok ok, if you insist, here's some handsy stuff too.

We got the hug.

JM wanted that hug so bad.

For scoring a goal that is.

Now, this was hilarious.

Jin, being hit in the balls, got a penalty kick, which Hobi kind of stopped, only to hit JM right in the head and wham, straight into the goal.

But yeah, he finally got to get his hug. With a member of the opponent team...

And we got it from a different angle than in the promo.

Just look at that smile.

Found it kind of funny that none of them had a word to say about JM hugging a member of the opposite team. All RM had to comment was to the legitimacy of him even getting a hug. 🤣

JM and JK are still relatively kinda clean at this point (well, JM has some soapy pants, but yet to be soaked).

And then the chaos begins.

The game is surprisingly close. And the red team have a tactic they try to put in place which involves JK holding on to JM and RM so Jin can score the goal,

a tactic to be utilized by JM a little later and it somehow ends up like this:

That growl JK...

(Disclosure: The JM climbing on JK bit, was in the promos, but not in the actual episode (we knew as much, didn't we?) and it was inserted into this edit by the clip's creator.)

And Tae, is that him enjoying them rolling in the soap, adding more lubrication or him trying to cool them down? Just one more life mystery. Lmao.

But also, there was clearly editing going on there. We have been fooled once again folks. BH editors depriving us of some evidently (I mean look at what's going on there) good Jikook content.

One thing I ask myself about whatever it was that was going on there, and that is: what the hell did it have to do, if at all, with playing soccer? 🤣 

Game ended, and one hug, evidently, was clearly not enough.

And breaking it down.

After the games ended, the winners were announced, Jin got a gold medal as well announcing he got 1st place with Astronaut at M countdown,

and the hectic couple, a.k.a. Jikook, took over the final MCing.

Bonus: A little bit of cutie Koo.

and a little bit of cutie Jiminie.

This is what they had to say at the end:

I can't help but wonder how the flowers ended up with JM.

Bridal bouquet?

And just for fun, I love ending my posts with a little reminder from this episode, something to carry us for a little while longer, you know, till 2025. 😭 😭

#Jikook #Kookmin #Minkook #Jungkook #Jimin #JK #JM #Jikook run bts #Jikook run bts mini field day #Youtube

[saphssapphire]

my s9 boatem designs!! enormous load of design details, notes, and headcanons under the cut

Pearl is a Cleansing Alien- combining the Cleaner Lady and Alien Base aspects of her s9 together! Also I took the baby yoda ears she wore for like one episode and integrated it into her design because it does fit the look she’s going for this season The little ends of her hair are curves, so they look a bit like crescent moons or something!

Impulse is a dwarf :P he’s small, but it’s pretty fun to draw him with an oversized battle-axe lmao I uh don’t draw impulse as often, his design’s a little more work-in-progress compared to the other ones, but I like what I did with his i-shaped eyes

I headcanon Scar to have mixed allay/vex genetics that can shift in dominance, weird funky magic stuff I suppose :P during s9 his allay genes would have taken a bit of a stronger hold, which would be why he made the cookie empire However you choose to look at scar and cub’s dynamic, I think they do deserve to have similar looking hair, and yeah I’m doing that! Should probably post a Cub doodle soon to show that

Mumbo is a copper vampire, because A) copper’s one of his primary building blocks right now and B) that one interaction where he wore Scar’s elf ears and looked like a vampire He’s always slowly oxidizing and enters a sort of sleep state when oxidized almost fully, and that would be why he went into the long hiatus His design looks more geometric compared to the others because his bases tend to have very geometric shapes, and he reflects that, I suppose

Grian is part cod, part parrot, and the parrot part is depicted here because I couldn’t be any more original with this /j His wing-ears morph into cod fins when he’s in water and he’ll gain wavier hair and a tail Most of the time you just see his eyes as sort of an idle expression, but his mouth does appear whenever he needs to speak, it’s just really well hidden I guess and his design is meant to look a little bit “flatter” (unsure how well it gets across here) as if he himself has no back, cause hermits reflecting their bases? maybe that’s just a Grian and Mumbo thing, who knows

#also! if you’re wondering about the color choices for the splashes behind their backs #pearl- copper golem in new life #impulse- his actual favourite color #scar- the fancier elven matador skin #mumbo- oxidized copper #grian- not a resistance sculk #kay here’s all the tags and stuff #saphs art #hermitcraft #hermitcraft season 9 #boatem #pearlescentmoon #impulsesv #goodtimeswithscar #mumbo jumbo #grian

[henrysglock]

Now then let me make you insane…. Just a bit.

Ok so I guess I’m an aspiring gymnast now cause this is a Stretch!

But a couple of months ago I found out that the cards on Mike’s bulletin board are garbage pail kids cards, one of which is called Evil Eddie.

And I just went back to that post and thought “hmm, what if there’s something about Edward Creel?”

So, as the insane person that I am, I googled garbage pail kids cards that have the name “Henry” in it first and then “Edward” instead of just Eddie.

And well….

One thing I learned about garbag pail kids cards is that one image can have multiple (i think it’s always two) different names….

(definitely a reference to Henry Jekyll and Edward Hyde)

And I can imagine that they probably had to buy these cards in a bundle? Like, I don’t think they just bought four cards for the set design/prop department lmao. And all the cards that they put up in Mike’s room (that we can see) also have the same names as other characters from the show so mayyyyybee….. maybe we’ll see these two cards in s5?👀

But yeah idk, again, kinda in my gymnast era🤸

OUAGHFHGFJHGJFHG!!!! I'M NORMAL!!!!! sorry this took me so long to get to 😭

I totally agree that "halved" Henry and “evil" Edward are based on Jekyll and Hyde, much like Henry and Edward Creel seem to be, given that the book covers and stage performance/advertisments for J+H seem to be direct inspirations for the TFS promo art:

(image courtesy of Em's Jungian Shadow post)

and it’s so funny to me, how we’ve essentially determined that Eddie Munson delivers subtext/foreshadowing for Edward Creel, and then Mike has the Eddie/demobat version on his board, like you said:

He’s not the evil Eddie were looking for, but he hints at him given the double-persona thing.

In any case, I’m totally normal about it!! Great catch!!

#edward creel #timeline theory #stranger things #st set design

[dumplingsjinson]

Aite so like... It's a long post ahead, which is NOT about cat guy. It's about a guy friend I met on Bumble. We'll name him raccoon dude, because he wants a raccoon as a pet. I just wanna see if I'm getting the wrong impression, because I'm getting the vibes that he might like me (and upon telling my friends, they also said the same thing). ...Or maybe he's just really friendly?

To pre-face this, I was still active on those dating apps before me and cat guy decided to just see each other, and I met this guy before me and cat guy became exclusive. I told him straight up that I didn't want anything other than friendship before we met for the first time, because by that point, I knew I wanted to just see cat guy, but I was still on the apps because cat guy was being inconsistent (complained about it on here, too LMAO) so I was still in and out of those apps just in case.

Anyway. I'll try to bullet point why I think he likes me, but why I'm also getting mixed signals:

Why I think he likes me:

We were at the Apple store. I was looking at the green iPhone and was like "I love this colour" and then he was like "Yeah, that colour suits you." So I was like, "Okay, but why does it suit me?" and he answers, "Because it looks nice." So me trying to be playful, I ask him, "So are you saying I look nice" and this motherfucker dead ass says "Yeah." And when I continue to tease him about it, he doesn't say anything but smiles and laughs.

That same day, he forgot his keys, and his roommate had the keys (he has one set of keys) so we went to his home to get it. He let me into his place and we kinda just ended up chilling in his room for hours. I was laying on his bed and using his pillow and everything, and when I went home that night, this man texts me saying, "My pillow smells like your hair mist. It's really nice." And I was like ??? It's funny because I screenshotted the text and recounted the events to my friends and they thought I was talking about cat guy so I'm like newflkewnf

ALSO. I was asking him to unlock his phone so I can use his Spotify and change the music on his Bluetooth speaker, and he straight up showed me his passcode and everything. I asked him if anyone else knew his passcode and he told me me and his roommate are the only people who know his passcode. He also let me scroll through his phone and like... Let's be honest. You wouldn't let a friend do that, probably not even a s/o, would you?

I took a look at his contacts and I'm the only one who has a nickname. Granted, he calls me "Bestie" *insert my irl nickname*, while everyone else doesn't have a nickname. Then again, he had a lot of contacts so I skimmed through the list.

He KEEPS shouting me for things. I'm hanging out with him for his birthday tomorrow and he's literally treating me to this expensive ass buffet which costs like.. $130 per person. And he would not let me pay him back. He keeps paying for things, and when I tell him to give me his bank account details so I can pay him back, he never does. Always says "You can pay me back later" and never brings it up again. I try to shout him where I can but usually he likes to cover the bills.

And get this. He keeps calling me shit like "My love" and "my dear" and "my *insert irl nickname" and he even called my "my baby" at one point, which didn't sit well with me so I told him to never call me that again. He told me calls his friend that and they don't mind it so there's that, I guess.

He compliments me and is overall very sweet to me, and doesn't get annoyed when I'm being flippant with my decisions or being a moody lil bitch.

He also updates me whenever he can't talk, or whenever he's busy and needs to hop off from our conversation for a bit. Even cat guy doesn't do this (not that I mind because I know he doesn't text much, but I'm just pointing that out because like ?? Wtf??).

He'd also say shit like "I miss you" and "I can't wait to see you" and I get that can be platonic but with everything he's done so far... Hm.

Now this is where the mixed signals come in:

There is a girl he likes. It's funny because he doesn't have her under a nickname in his contacts.

He's going through it because of her; she keeps ghosting him, and then coming back, and it's a mess. He wants to confess, but he never does when he says he will, and at this point, I don't know if he ever will. When he talks about her, I can tell he likes her but she also frustrates him greatly.

He met that girl on tinder. It's also funny, because he met that girl on Tinder before he met me on Bumble (like, one to two months before, and by the time we met, he's already been out with her three times or something like that). After me and him met up, he decides to delete his pics on Bumble. His profile is still there, but he's not active on the app anymore. He never deleted his pictures after meeting with that girl but after meeting with me, he decides to delete his pictures? I asked him about it and was like "Did you delete because of the girl you like?" and he was like "Yeah, I guess I did." SO LIKE?? THE FUCK??

I asked him what he wants for his birthday and he's like "My dear best friend, stay by my side for the rest of my life. That's what I want for my birthday."

Man calls me a friend but then does all of that and I'm like ?? SO. WHO DO YOU ACTUALLY LIKE?? To be fair, you can like more than one person, but I'm out here like if he does actually like me then I'm gonna be so KLNESLKFNEW because 1) I told him from the start I liked someone else and, 2) CAN I GET A GENUINE GUY FRIEND, damn.

He JUST sent me a meme that says "Me and my homies entering 2024 without achieving a single thing in 2023" with an image of the Tom and Jerry making their merry way across the street, and I'm like "You did achieve something - becoming my bestie" and then he's like "That's the best part of 2023." And I'm like, "But wouldn't meeting the girl you like be the best part?" and he completely dodges my question. SO. THE FUCKK.

We were talking about his new roommate who's moving in tomorrow and I was joking about how I wanted to meet him and shit and man sounds like he's dissuading me from meeting the guy so I'm like... Huh. Not that I want to meet the guy after what he's been telling me but yeah lmfao.

And my friends are like "he likes you, doesn't he?"

And I told my manager about how I'm going to the expensive ass buffet for his birthday and my manager was literally like "...That's a good friend you have 👀" and I was like lknewkfnew GIRLLL-

So yeah. I'm just... Out here? And not the same friend who keeps insisting he likes me being like "Or maybe he could be your glucose guardian" LMFAOOO

We could be reading into this wrong, or maybe he does like me and that other girl but like... I hope I'm wrong lmfao.

#long post #personal #i'm getting mad mixed signals from my guy friend lmfao

[angelhummel]

okay so in honor of pride month, i have something i wanna get off my chest for real. sorry if this is super long

I have a tendency to go outside of tumblr spaces when looking at glee content — something i frequently regret. but in my time in those spaces, i often the most delusional take ever. it is basically, “kurt was always kinda pushy towards finn. so did he actually DESERVE to be called a slur??? 🤔🤔🤔 let’s discuss.” this shit boils my blood to no end and while it’s obvious why, i feel the incessant need to defend my boy kurt at all costs.

for one, he wasn’t any more pushy than any other character in the show. i mean for god’s sake, rachel quite literally THREW herself at finn as early as the first episode and i guess that’s fine??? what kurt did was virtually no different bc all the characters do weird, out of pocket shit throughout the show. it really only bothered finn bc kurt is a boy and finn is OVERLY bothered by the prospect of a boy having a crush on him. (more specifically that its kurt — he just simply dislikes kurt being attracted potentially straight guys. thats why he took so much issue to kurt singing with sam. it’s always been about his personal issues with kurt)

moving on to the actual scene in question, so much of what flop accused kurt of was grossly unfair to him. like he says something along the lines of “im scared to even take a shower when youre around,” implying that kurt is some ‘predatory gay’. which is ironic, bc we learn from kurt himself that he never showered after gym JUST to avoid be labelled as something like that. at no point did kurt’s advances move towards remotely ANYTHING sexual in nature, finn just instead assumed that of him

finally, i do believe that flop WANTED to call kurt a slur. he knew that kurt wouldnt call him out for it and you can tell from his tone that that had been building up inside of him for awhile. he wanted something that would push kurt away/scare him. he just went for the cruelest method possible in the moment.

so all this was to basically say that flop hudson sucks and that kurt did not deserve any of the shit that he endured. he was pretty much taught by his peers that it is inappropriate and unacceptable for him to have the same wants and desires that literally any teenager would have simply bc he was gay.

thank you for tuning into my rant. this has been stewing for awhile lmao

lmao yesterday i saw a gifset where cory as finn was doing some good fun acting and i stared at him for like a minute going "if i focus on the cory of it all, can i trick myself into liking finn even a little bit?"

the answer was already no, but if it hadn't been, this ask wouldve set me straight. thank you <3

i've definitely talked about that before tho bc omg. finn has the nerve to call anyone else pushy. i know its not like it'd happened in the show already but. this is the boy setting up a whole kissing booth to manipulate quinn into kissing him aksljfsdlk. or the way he got drunk at the wedding reception in s4 and was hounding rachel. that literally gives me the heebie jeebies lmao sorry to be dramatic about it but i hate it

and god yeah it just breaks my heart bc we know that kurt is always walking on eggshells around these people anyway. and literally 2x04 has become one of my least favorite episodes bc of how hard it is to watch as a kurt stan lmao. sorry it has like two iconic songs but finchel are so fucking manipulative and awful and i've had several rants about this episode before aljsfdlks but basically boils down to them literally making kurt feel like he's committing a crime by asking sam to sing a duet with him and isolating him to an unhealthy degree

and then wanna act all :O four eps later when kurt is like "im getting tf out of here to go to school with people who are nice to me" aslkfdslfjsd

anyway literally just search "2x04 anti finn" on my blog and you will find more posts than you would ever care to read lmao

#glee #lol glee #anti finn hudson #asks #my thoughts #cryscendo #flop hudson

[kellyscowboy]

꒰✧ᯇ✦꒱ BROOKLYN RED

ᯇsummary ! ✦ in manhattan they'd call it a sin, but race's wearing brooklyn red for him ᯇpair ! ✦ spot conlon x racetrack higgins (livesies) || inspired by Tennessee Orange by Megan Moroney & these (one) (two) posts by @crystallized-twilight ᯇvienna’s thoughts ! ✦ uhhh i definitely think this could be better but i just wanted to get it out of my drafts tbh LMAO. i swear the next piece or writing will be better :') 1249 WORDS © 2023 , 𝐤𝐞𝐥𝐥𝐲𝐬𝐜𝐨𝐰𝐛𝐨𝐲

"Racer!" Spot groaned. "I give up. Ya ain't never gonna learn the damn song."

Racetrack smiled and took a drag from his cigarette. "Well, I like the teacher betta than the lesson anyway."

"No amount of flattery can make up for how badly ya butchered our song," Spot laughed. He continued to speak, but his words were lost in the night.

The lights on the Brooklyn Bridge gave Spot a certain glow. One that made his skin look like that of an angel. Racetrack couldn't help but stare as he watched the boy laugh. He wanted to listen to Spot, he really did, but how could he listen to him when he was so beautiful? He tries his best to focus, but who could if Spot was sitting in front of them looking like a gift from God?

Race wanted to tell him every one of his thoughts. How Spot's laugh was probably what Heaven's trumpets sound like, how gorgeous his eyes were-

"I mean, honestly, how do ya mess up the wor-"

"Red's definitely your color." And he winced because that was definitely not what he had meant to say. It didn't even begin to cover half of what he was thinking.

Spot smiled and cocked an eyebrow. "Red's Brooklyn's color, Racer."

He groaned, "I just meant- It looks good on you. Like, really good. Ya look heavenly right now. You sure you're real?"

"Pretty sure. Speaking of red," Spot shoved his hand into his selling bag and pulled out a crumpled shirt. "I know you'll always be Manhattan, but... I thought, maybe, you could play Brooklyn sometimes too?"

Race moved to grab the shirt and exchanged it for the one he had been wearing. He scoffed, mostly at himself. "God, the boys would kill me if they saw me wearing this."

"Ya still ain't told anyone 'bout us?"

"Have you?" Race snapped, slightly defensive.

A beat.

"No." Spot admitted as he adjusted his hat. He crossed his arms, defeated and grumpy. Race slumped down with him, he intertwined their fingers and let his forehead bump into Spot's neck.

"I didn't mean to snap at'cha." He sighed. "I just- I don't know how to tell ''em that the Spot Conlon—the one who left us for dead during the strike (hey!)—is my sweetheart. Hell, how am I supposed ta tell 'em you got me wearing Brooklyn red?"

Spot rolled his eyes. "I did not leave you for dead." A shrug. "You're all still alive, aint'cha?"

Race smiled fondly and rested his forehead against the others. "Yeah, I guess we is."

"I'm glad you are," Spot whispered. Then he straightened himself and pushed Race an arms-length away, and held him there. "Because if you weren't I woulda never seen how good you look playing Brooklyn."

He laughed and shoved Spot's cap—which was really his own; he had been sporting Spot's actual cap ever since the time they went to the racetracks—over his eyes. "Don't forget it's just playing. I'm only Brooklyn in your dreams."

"Damn right."

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

Race flipped the shirt in his hands over and over again. He stared into the deep red that felt so much like home that it almost made him sick to his stomach. God, if anyone saw his damned red shirt. It was just a stupid shirt, but holding it in his hands felt like treason.

"Hey, Racer. Haven't seen ya in a while; where ya been?" And his heart dropped into his stomach as he rushed to crumble up the shirt and shove it under a blanket. Jack threw his hat onto a random bed before addressing him again. "Woah! Ya good, Racer? Ya look like you'se a ghost or somethin'."

"I'm alright. Hey, uh," it's now or never, "I've gotta tell ya somethin'. But- Listen, you can't tell the other guys, they'll probably kill 'im."

Jack's eyebrows furrowed, concern flooded his expressions. He leaned against a bed frame with his fists clenched. "Did someone hurt ya, Race? Did'ya mess with some dame and her fella got at ya?"

He couldn't help but laugh. "I'm fine, Kelly. Seriously. You've taught me better than that. Kind of."

The strike leader all but sighed with relief, then sat down on the bed across from Race. "So, what'dya need to tell me? What, ya done sellin' papes or something?"

"No, no. I'm still sellin' papes. I don't got enough money ta quit." He paused. "I might've... met someone."

Jack smiled, crossed his arms and leaned back in amusement. "And?"

"And... he's really good to me. He's got these eyes and they're... they're so blue that it's almost scary. Ya know the kind? He holds doors open for me, stop laughing. And he ain't made me cry yet. Which is saying somethin' for him." Race was looking down at his hands, a stupid smile beating the embarrassment to his face. "He ain't from 'round here, but he still- He still feels like home, ya'know?"

"I know the feelin'. Who's the fella?"

Race looked up, only to meet Jack's eyes just for a second. "Ya can't tell the other fella's, Jackie. I mean, they'd probably call it a damn sin-"

"Racer, come on. They ain't like that-"

"No. Not 'cuz of that, not 'cuz he's a guy. 'Cuz he's..." Race sighed and dragged a hand over his face. "He's got me wearing Brooklyn red, Jack."

And to that, Jack let out a long sigh.

"I know! Brooklyn ain'tcha best friend. Hell, they ain't no-one's best friend." Race started to grin a little again. "He, uh, he took me out to the bridge last Saturday."

"Oh, so that's where ya run off to. To betray us." Jack teased. He even reached forward and gave Racetrack a playful punch to the shoulder.

Race's smile was back in full force. "Anyway. It wasn't nothing like 'Hattan, but nothin' ever will be. But man, I'd like to personally thank whoever made the lights on that damn bridge. Ain't neva seen someone look like that. He looked like a damn angel."

"Well, I can't say I'm not disappointed-"

"I'm sorry Jack. It's just... man, I like him a lot. I'm even learning that stupid Brooklyn chant."

Jack laughed. "Race. I'm not actually disappointed, I'm just messin' with ya. But everyone looks better in 'Hattan colors. Can't deny that." He stated, pulling at his own shirt.

"Obviously. But that smile he carries with him makes ya forget all that. I mean, the grin he had when he made me try on a Brooklyn shirt; made me think I should only ever wear red for the rest of my life!"

Jack grinned and shook his head. "Well, well. Neva seen you so smitten over someone. So, what? Ya Brooklyn now?"

Racetrack laughed. "Never. Not even Spot's smile could make me crazy enough to leave 'Hattan."

"Ya fella's the Spot Conlon? Man, you ain't dating a fella from Brooklyn. You're basically dating Brooklyn itself!"

"I know."

"Listen, Race. Manhattan's gonna loves ya. Even the traitor part of ya." Jack leaned forward to grab Race's shoulder. "If you're happy, we're happy."

Race let out a sigh of relief.

Like a tidal wave, the rest of the newsboys poured into the lodging house. Jack gave the other boy a wink━a promise of secrecy━before he reached under the blanket, pulled out the Brooklyn shirt, and jumped up to wave it in front of the crowd. "You guys won't believe who Racer's swoonin' over!"

"Jack!"

~

#if this is bad just squint and it might be better! #i hate my writing someone send help #anyway!! #very different from what i wrote last time #country music is so good i wont apologize #i only edited it once so bare with me #posting it so that i don't have to deal with the guilt of it in my drafts #spot conlon #racetrack higgins #sprace #newsies #livesies #newsies live #broadway #newsies broadway #˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳ newsies // oneshots ❥ #☄. *. ⋆ vienna's ... writing

[conduitandconjurer]

Hi! Sorry I took so long to share. This is the picture from season 4:

https://www.instagram.com/p/C2zsCNAr8tT/?igsh=MTNrajRhM3R3aXM4dg==

I’m not sure if links work through asks but the official account (umbrellaacad) posted it on instagram. I don’t think having an account is necessary to be able to see it.

It worked, thanks, friend!!!

Hm. Hmmm. Yeah that...is a thing that they posted. Huh. lol.

I mean. This will seem shallow, but Klaus's appearance has always seemed intentionally tied to his inner emotional and psychological (and yes, spiritual) journey--his tattoos alone attest to that--so I think I'm particularly critical of what doesn't seem aligned to his character development visually. That said, I can see how he'd maybe revert to a point in his life when he chopped off and straightened his BEAUTIFUL CURLY hair ( =_=;;;; lol) since the excruciating journey he just embarked upon in order to START seeing himself as worth more than the mastery of his powers ...has kind of been...nullified lol by losing them (I get it, it's a Gerard Way esque thing to be totally nihilistic). Klaus may feel as if he can go back to his younger years (the tennish years preceding the start of Season One) and relive them totally detoxed, harm to his brain and organs also reset, sober. And that's valid, plus I know Klaus has a penchant for going through phases to distract himself from his real problems.

Which is why I'm So Tired™ when I see the nitrile gloves. They have to be in a "still-no-powers" timeline in this shot because Luther is still not fused with ape DNA. I am guessing this is going to be some kind of dumbass ableist gag (lbr, TUA has never cared about stepping right in it when it comes to ableist tropes) a la Adrian Monk and "hoho haha, compounded, severe and complex trauma gave him germaphobic OCD!" (in Klaus's case, because he now has remembered all the murder-experiments Reg did on him in the crypt, and he's no longer immortal, so that makes him hyper-aware of anything that could kill him without his safety net). On the one hand, if this is true I'm happy he has something to lose and therefore cares about how to spend his limited remaining days. On the other hand, no, I don't want Klaus to die, I want him to still have his powers but also CHOOSE to do the work of slowly recognizing he doesn't need them to be worthy of unconditional love.

Is the potential germaphobia good writing? Probably, in many respects.

Is it what I want, because I'm a soft-touch who just wants to see her favs heal because it gives her comfort? Nah.

Is reducing Klaus and his character development to a punchline what I want? God no. I'm so tired of it. I don't care how satirical the show is. Pick on someone else, lmao. I know he's the fandom fav which translates somehow into making him the target for the worst disastrous twists, but LET THE DUMB GAY DANDELION REST.

I saw someone write an alternate theory which I now have forgotten but I KNOW I reblogged it so please feel free to go digging in my reblogs.

Other thoughts: You can tell by the way he's the only one looking a different direction, Five is still the real leader, and I'm glad Luther gave up on that, bc he's Ferdinand the Bull and it doesn't suit him to be all stressed out and bossy. He picks up siblings and throws them down stairs or strangles them when he's overwhelmed, haha DDDDD: Anyway, poor Fivey never wears civilian clothes, except that One Time when he and Klaus went looking for Klaus's birthmother (they are good for each other and need to just like...get in a fucking car and leave again. LOL).

Ben and Viktor look hot but also confused which, fair, especially in Ben's case since he's a Sparrow and a moody Edgelord who needs hugs, lol. And possibly a more dangerous enemy than Reginald, which I frankly hope brings out Klaus's "I'm a big harmless sweetheart who finally snapped a la Katara bloodbending in Avatar" moment. I Need It. Literally every other sibling has had the chance at a minor nervous breakdown, come on. Let Klaus not be okay and acknowldge it to anyone who'll listen! And yeah I know his siblings all love him, I've never disputed that once. Sometimes love ain't enough, and needs to pair up with respect. Sad but realistic truth.

Finally, I wanna know if Allison has reconciled with the family and if so, how. She is fascinating and I think her villain era in s3 was 100 percent in alignment with her character development and her lifelong issues with consent (also Reginald's fault!)

This all came out spicier than I meant LOL. Im not snarking at you, anon, I swear. Thanks for sharing <3 I just expect VERY little out of Season 4. Hopefully I'll be wrong! I was similarly wrong with the Loki series, which gsve me a perfect final-arc scenario for my favorite character of all time.

#Anonymous #meta #i dunno more like me being tired #sorry if this is #negative cw #tua spoilers

[indecisive-dizzy]

Ramble about Eddie to your heart’s content, bestie :D

I’m honestly very interested in your ideas :3

Again, don’t be scared to just ramble in my ask box, I love hearing peoples ideas

AJDKKAGAJAKAK- THANK YOU <3 <3

I'm wailing rn /pos

My AU! Disabled Eddie!! Ok so he wasn't born with his disability, it came about later.

My Current story is that he had stroke in late middle/early high school! I have done research and Yes it is possible for teens and younger to have strokes. From what I recall it can be significantly worse for them compared to adult strokes

Eddie was left with permanent complications and is disabled bc of it. He has coordination, balance, and general mobility complications among a list of other post stroke effects. I just found the word I was looking for a few days ago to describe his mobility issues, it's Ataxia!

Eddie has to deal with bouts of muscle weakness on his right side which can effect his vision. He also gets vertigo a Lot and at this point dizziness is expected every time he stands.

He uses forearm crutches when he needs extra help walking bc he does have good days where he may not need them! But for longer distances he brings them bc he's better safe than sorry. He also has cane but he doesn't use it As much.

He also has a wheelchair that he Hates. He hates having to use it. But his Really horrible days leave him unable to stand, much less walk. He wishes he could just hide it somewhere and never think about it but alas. it's important.

He dislikes the wheelchair so much bc it makes him feel useless. He is Not! I want to clarify that wheelchair users are perfectly Capable and Independent! Eddie just has an issue with overachieving and working himself too hard. He wants to be helpful and do So Much but there are some things he can't do while in his wheelchair. He was stuck in a chair for months after his stroke and it was devastating back then. He has No good memories with a wheelchair so he continues to dislike using it.

Ok putting a read more bc I am not shutting up for a While

Relationships with the neighbors! Generally the same. Barnaby doesn't chase him bc that would be mean (? I can't think of a better way to describe it)

Sally is still Sally but she's specific on her mailman hate (lmao) to make sure Eddie and everyone else knows she's not faulting him for his disability.

Hmm yeah everything else is pretty much the same. I guess everyone is also more open about offering Eddie help from time to time if he looks like he needs an extra hand. They're not persistent or anything, but if they see him struggling to carry a package or two they're more inclined to help.

I still don't know how Howdy gets his shit. Honestly If Eddie is having a crutch or chair day,, Howdy just won't get his stock unless he gets it himself. I can't think of a way for Eddie to deliver all those heavy ass boxes.

He does ask people to pick up their packages occasionally too. He tries to deliver them all himself but it's not always possible. He offers a trolley they can use.

I want to talk about angst. So this is very specific, I'll try to keep it short. growing up, Eddie lived in a four bedroom house. two downstairs master bedrooms and two upstairs normal bedrooms. Before his stroke he was upstairs, his older brother in the other room, and his older sister in the bedroom downstairs.

Afterwards he had to move downstairs. His sister Hated this. She loved her room and her private bathroom and she was very prissy about it.

This snowballed into her just,, taking all her frustrations out on Eddie. He took Her Bedroom. He's getting all the attention. Her little brother was ruining everything.

Eddie was devastated by this. He went as far as to attempt to convince his parents to let them switch rooms again. He couldn't physically walk up the stairs most days but he just wanted his big sister to not hate him anymore.

Their relationship never fully recovered. As an adult Eddie will still find ways to blame himself and feel guilty. But he just can't bring himself to talk to her.

They used to be so close. She let Eddie experiment with her makeup, they talked about fashion and boys and she helped him so so much when he was questioning his sexuality.

and then it just, fell apart. But not quietly like a loose thread but rather a house that wasn't built quite right and the screws came loose one by one.

Eddie's memory gets really fuzzy when thinking that far back. but some of those memories are burned into his mind and he wishes he could forget them like he does everything else.

#ouch i hurt my own heart #eddie my love im srry but to be loved by me means suffering with my angst #side bit: the stroke also impacted his memory issues #they were already there but they kinda got worse #anyway thank u again for letting me ramble sniff #i have to remember to invade ur inbox bestie #but im literally so annoying and i keep putting it off #keep sending me ur ideas to!! i also enjoy indulging in others thoughts! #but yeah eddie i fucked you up and I'm (not) sorry <3 <3 #i always hc eddie as being very close yo his siblings. so ruining that? hoo boy it hurts haha #dizztalkstoomuch #neon child #welcome home #eddie dear #eddie dear au #???? ig ill put that for now #i need to make my own tag for this au i just cant think of anything clever rn lol #anyway this is incredibly long and i need food #and sleep! sooo Good night! :) ✨✨✨ #also i apologize for any typos. im eepy <3

[funderberker-thefrog]

It's almost 3am and I can't sleep so I have decided to give y'all an update of my Hollow Knight playthrough (please don't spoil anything to me or anything I'll cry). I've advanced a lot since the last time I posted (I think I was barely on False Knight/Hornet back then) but I still feel like there's a lot more to go oof.

I've got the dream nail and I am close to the first 100 essence the guy told me to collect! yay!

Myla is infected:( She didn't attack me last time I checked up on her, but I'll just leave her be. I hope you're better soon my friend.

I love the Mantis Lords. As in, I had a hard time (even though I didn't try them right after getting the mantis claw bc I couldn't get through the platforming – which i got quite easily later), specially when they threw the blade thingy at me with the lower pattern, but i like the guys a lot. Their theme was neat and idk i think they're pretty cool guys and I love that they've accepted me. I wish I could dream nail them, like I guess I technically could've done that during the fight but I was busy, uh, trying to not get killed and stuff.

Easiest (took me the least tries) bosses so far: Gruzzmother (fun fact, I actually beat her before the false knight! i as super lost since i didn't have the compass and ended up there by chance), Dung defender (funny guy. also, why does dung need to be defended? maybe I'll never know), Broken Vessel and the Fluke thingy.

I have rescued a little over half of the grubs! I love the happy noise they make when they see me coming to the rescue and also when I go visit them! My precious little things. Also, I have lots of charms now, according to Salubra there's only 15 more to go and I'll have her blessing. Additionally, I've upgraded my nail twice already:)

The deepnest was wild lmao. As in, I love creepy stuff so I loved it but like it also made my skin crawl i guess, specially the noises the bugs do when they "come back" to life thanks to the parasite stuff (I have the Hunter's diary btw!!). Really an interesting place and I saved Zote down there, too:D Oh and I met the Midwife?, except I never actually talked to her bc I reflex hit her and later had to google "hollow mask deepnest masked character from the walls".

As another fun fact, I found Nosk earlier today. Like, technically I just got to Kindom's Edge recently, but I went back bc I wanted to review certain areas and things I had marked on my map bc I found them funny (to see if I could investigate now that I have more abilities).

So, I find the breakable wall and I try to explore as much of the area. Eventually I reach the part in which I start seeing myself and I just kept going. It was definitely eerie (which I love) but as I was trying to find my way around, I was a bit afraid thinking something along the notes of "This other me scares me a little, I feel like at some point I will actually run into him and he's going to absolutely fucking wreck me". And I swear I had no idea if that was really where the whole thing was going (I've just played enough videogames to distrust shadow/clone selves) but yeah. that's exactly what happened😭 I didn't really try to beat him, though. I decided to just keep him in mind for later.

And, oh, I found the Godhome, too? But I just looked around a little (there where things marking the bosses I have defeated) and decided to go back bc I had a big big feeling I'm not supposed to be there yet.

At last, I finally rescued Bretta!! I had seen her from afar before but i didn't have the means to reach her yet. After some battling with the later section of the platforming, I finally got to meet her and I love her!!! And she's??? got a crush on me????? I'm. She's so cute. If I sit on the bench beside her at dirtmouth she blushes. blushes¡!!!!! And I read her thoughts and she's like oh my saviour besides me. And I go to her room and there's a plushie of me and and the written story. She's adorable I wanna hug her so bad:(

And I feel like that's all, perhaps? I woke up a dreamer at the distant village and the crossroad is infected now but that's it. anyways. I feel like i might be able to finally sleep after this:)

#hollow knight #greenpath #fungal wastes #city of tears #dung defender #mantis lords #hornet #Gruzzmother #salubra #bretta #deepnest #nosk #grubs #grubfather

[boneless-mika]

maybe you’d be more open to accepting you probably aren’t aromantic if you didn’t make being aroace your entire personality

Lmao. I made one post about ace discourse and then people decided to send me a ton of asks arguing with me so I reblogged a lot of aroace memes in order to not overwhelm my followers with this bullshit but I guess that day of reblogging aroace memes and the fact it’s in my pfp means it’s my whole personality (At least acknowledge in that case being a pink haired catboy is a significant part of my personality as well smh)

I am open to accepting that I’m not aromantic just like I’m open to accepting I love sex. It’s extremely unlikely but I guess in theory it’s possible. Either way I’d never agree with a stranger telling me that’s the case, what is wrong with you. You clearly never considered that it took me years to come to term with my aroace identity and that it is important to me. Something I also don’t think a lot of alloromantics experience (not saying they can’t, just it’s less common) is being totally fine never having a partner their whole entire life and actively not wanting to date

I honestly find the fact you’re saying I’m making being aroace my whole personality is incredibly funny because if you knew literally anything about me you’d know I collect hobbies like pokémon. In fact, at this very moment I’m playing Fallout: New Vegas and specifically went onto tumblr to send my friend a post about how positively surprised I was by it (btw I took the certified bachelor trait so bet that annoys you a little ;)). Oh yeah and I’m the kind of person who still uses emoticons. I love going on trips, I’m going to a car meet tomorrow. I’m not going to defend the fact I do have a personality which yes, unfortunately includes having real difficulty just deleting asks like this, any more than I already have.

I swear to god (and that says something because I’m an atheist), just fucking look up “oriented aroace”. I am not the only one and I am getting kind of sick of anons making it out as though I am and making me feel bad for identifying as aroace at all. I highly doubt they are even a-spec themselves just because of how insistent they are that I can’t be (I feel like if they were they probably would’ve told me that so they’d come off more credible). I know the link is to a fandom wiki but I don’t know the original source and literally just spent two minutes googling it which maybe anon should’ve done before claiming it’s not a real thing :/

#it’s exactly long enough between anons that I believe they’ve gone off to do something else *cries out of frustration* #oh yeah and I’m the cringy type of person who acts things out in text #I have a lot of personality it’s the anons who decided I don’t #aphobe bullshit

[the-bird-and-the-flute]

Ikevamp - Romantic Rivalry Part 2 - Napoleon

Seriouslyyyyyyyyyy, this man drives me crazy!!!!!!!!

I'm so excited after reading just the premium that I'll write my comments about this event story now hhahaha.

I'll try to do the sweet end too. If I manage to unlock it, I'll update this post later.

Edit: I finished sweet today. Fuck yeah :)

You know those story events you needed but you were not aware of it? THAT'S WHAT HAPPENED TO ME TODAY!

How on earth I have never thought how cool it would be to participate in a couple contest with Napoleon? PLSSS, THIS SHOULD BE FUCKING CANON!!!!!!!!!

Our sugar daddy Comte entered MC and Napoleon in a couple contest. Apparently, these contests are kinda trendy in Paris now.

Obviously, MC was excited to test their affinity in a couple contest. And Napoleon, as the perfect ikemen he is, said he'd gladly join if that's what his girlfriend wanted. 🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰

So, before the contest day, MC asked for the residents's help because she had no idea what they'll have to do. Sebastian then decided to test MC and Napoleon for the big day. OMG that was so much funnnnnn.

The game was simple: you had to write on a paper what your partner would answer. If both write the same answer, they score a point.

And Sebastian called Theo and Vincent to challenge MC and Napoleon hahahahaha. You already know who won, right? LMAO

MC and Napoleon lost and Sebastian decided to punish the losing team. They'd have to do Sebastian's grocery shopping.

So MC and Napoleon went to town to buy whatever Sebastian needed. And then again, Napoleon showed why it's impossible to not love him.

MC was supposed to wait for him while he went somewhere to solve something. But she thought she should just go ahead and buy all the products. When Napoleon saw her carrying all those bags, he immediately told her she should have waited for him and he took all the bags so she wouldn't have to carry heavy stuff. WHAT A GENTLEMAN😍

I don't know how much time passed, but it was the day of the contest and MC and Napoleon were already waiting for the organizers to call their names. While they were waiting their turn, MC said she was nervous and then she mentioned that Japanese 'method' of drawing the kanji for 'person' in your hand. When you do that and then 'eat' the kanji, that supposedly would help you feel less anxious.

When she was drawing the kanji in her hand, Napoleon 'ate' the kanji for her. But the way he did it was so fucking sexy. Please. He even licked MC's hand HAHAHA. I would have had a hard time focusing on the contest after that LOL

So, it was their turn and the contest game was simple, but not easy imo. The men would be blindfolded and then the ladies would have to touch their shoulders, all in the same way. The goal was to guess right which of the ladies was their girlfriend.

Napoleon, as cocky as always, looked at MC and said she didn't have to worry cuz he was sure he'd find her. And he was not lying hahaha. He got it right quickly, and as all the other men couldn't guess as fast as him, they won. YAYYY. I KNEW MY NAPOLEON COULD DO IT <3

PREMIUM

After the contest, they were heading to the mansion. They started talking inside the carriage and MC said she wanted to thank him somehow for what he did today. She was so happy and proud he got it right. Then, Napoleon asked for a reward. A kiss. He pointed to his cheeks, but you know how clever he is.

When MC was going to kiss his cheek, he turned his face to obviously get a kiss on his lips. I KNEW HE WAS GOING TO DO THAT HAHAHA. AFTER LOVING THIS MF FOR YEARS I GUESS I LEARNED ONE THING OR TWO ABOUT HIM XD

Then, they got home to have lots of fun, but to know what happened, you need to buy the epilogue. Unfortunately, I didn't read all the juicy content cuz I'm saving dias for the election =/. I hope there is a rerun of this event so I can get another chance of buying this one.

But, tbh, I loved this story event with Napoleon. I usually like most of his story events, but this particular one was so much fun! It just gave me so many ideas of other couple contests they could join.

And Napoleon's personality is so fucking wholesome. Every time I play his event stories I get super happy cuz it's more content with my man, but, at the same time, I get frustrated that I don't have more Napoleon's routes to read hahahahha.

Thankfully, his bday is coming and I'll buy his set to read more exclusive stories. I would also love if cybird release another CD drama. I miss his voice so fucking much.

SWEET

After Napoleon said MC's name, he immediately took off the blindfold. He was happy to confirm he got it right. But the organizers of the contest didn't want him to take off the blindfold so soon. But as he guessed super fast, they were not prepared for a situation like this one.

So they decided to give MC and Napoleon a prize as well for winning the game. But I suppose the biggest prize was for someone else who followed all the rules.

The next thing we see is Napoleon and MC chatting in his room at the mansion. MC was thrilled he got it right. She was so proud of him and so happy that he knows her so well. He asked if she would be able find him too. MC said she would recognize his hands for sure.

On the next day, they were in town again. MC was waiting for Napoleon. He was on one of his errands. While she was waiting for him, some people recognized her from the couple contest and started to congratulate her for their performance.

Suddenly, she sees a bunch of women surrounding Napoleon. He sees annoyed with the situation but says nothing. When he notices MC from afar, he calls her name and runs toward her.

He grabs her hand and they start running to get away from those girls.

MC asked how he knew she was in that exact location. He said he just wished she was there. When he looked again, there she was.

#ikevamp #ikemen vampire #napoleon #event story #napoleon bonaparte #cybird #otome

[irregulardiaryposts]

20:40 07/03/2024

okay wow well its been well over two years since i updated this 'diary' blog lol

so weird seeing all those old posts about being a teenager with existential thoughts lol i dont really think like that anymore, at least not so much. i guess an update is in order then lmao okay so im in my 3rd year of uni now and im doing my year abroad! doing it in a small city in spain and i really quite like my job, ive only got 14hrs, i have a 3 day weekend, the city is small so i can walk everywhere and this job really gives me a sense of purpose that ive been missing in my life. makes me really realise that university is NOT for me lmfao i was so depressed during my second year i probs went to like 20% of my classes loool. im pretty sure i mightve almost failed aswell but since the professors were doing a marking boycott they released grades without marking the final exam and so since i was already doing well enough in all my classes i passed! quite lucky i think cos i wouldve been so entirely embarrassed and ashamed if i had to repeat a year cos of mental health. i think things are better here tho my issues havent disappeard completely like eg i have these evening classes 6-7.40pm tuesdays and thursdays and for the past like month i havent attended :/ at first it was cos i was sick (i think it was covid lol either from glasgow or on the plane back idk) and then i just didnt go back to class. i think my main excuse is that that is dinner time for me and i dont wanna move dinner time lol. but also i think the class itself is just not for me i dont feel like i learn a whoooole lot while im there and learning on apps is easier for me? but i always felt better for going to the classes cos i was like ha! im not depressed would a depressed person do this!? but of course depression doesnt work like that and i think i need medicated ! but that seems too scary to say. but at least i found someone to do a language exchange with! ive only had one hour with her in spanish, which was yesterday, but i already feel like ive improved lmaooo like i literally dreamt last night in a mix of spanish and english ahahahah cos when i think about it i literally have not ever regularly spoken spanish, ive only really spoken for activies in class or speaking exams so no wonder i have 0000 confidence in my speaking abilities but im hopeful that this will really improve my speaking :) about my job i guess- i work in a high school and i really enjoy interacting with the kids they really do make every day different and more interesting so i am grateful for them but sometimes damnnn sometimes i wanna jump out the window especially with this third year class they are the class KNOWN for being a bitof a pain lol and sometimes i have to lead the class by myself lmaooo mid u ik im 20 but i dont look it and they certainly dont treat me like an adult or a teacher and ngl they are a bit disrespectful at times but also what are u gonna do they are 14 and i have no proper teaching experience to help them by myself i can only hope that im actuallt helping them learn english lol. it is quite difficult tho with my scottish accent to try and sound as clear as possible because i pronounce almost 100% of the vowel sounds differently than rp english which is what i think they are used to so i have to realllyyyy annunciate all my words and man is it tiring lol.

what else. im going to madrid this weekend with bestie and im really looking forward to having a relaxing and fun time but i still havent packed my bags looooooool i alwyas do this tho and its fine not a big deal at all but i def need to do it tonight cos im leaving tomorrow immediately after work so ill have to have an actual breakfast and take snacks with me. im really enjoying my time in spain or at least im trying to but i feel like i have pushed myself enough out my comfort zone to be able to look back on this and say yeah i really took advantage of that. like i think i need to be more personable (is that a word yes it is i used it right) in teaching and be more interactive with them and stuff also i feel like i shoulve arranged a language exchange sooner cos i think this will really help, and i need to interact more with the other assistant but the thing is is im just not a sociable personnnnnnn aghgh. any way cutting this short cos i need to pack my bags for my trupppppp

#not using the tagging system i did on other posts i dont think theyre ever likely to be useful lmao

[troidatoi]

Day 1 - 8/23/2023

Hi Tumblr!

I had one of you in high school but deleted it after college. I decided to make another just so I have a place to rant and vent about things that make me sad or angry or just things in general. I do journal but I'd like to use it for more positive things and manifestations or whatever. I turned on all the privacy settings so hopefully no one finds this. lmfao. I know all posts are public but I don't really know anyone in my life that has Tumblr anymore. I kind of just needed a place to fucking vent or rant. Today's Kobe's birthday so I'm trying not to be so angry today. (lol, sorry Kobe.) Okay so here goes. I just needed a way to let out my frustrations and so I was like why not Tumblr? I'd mainly be talking about my health and probably my frustrations with life in general.

Growing up, I've always been a big ass kid and you can tell and it showed in my pictures. Been bullied a lot for it from everybody including family. Had a kid threw a rock at me when I was little and said he hated fat people. My parents took me to a weight loss doctor where I cried my eyes out. I guess I always sought food out for comfort. I'm also an only child. I've always wanted to try and better my health but didn't know how, didn't really have the resources or money, and I was constantly surrounded by food. I kind of wish my parents had let me figure out how to do it on my own. I turned into this person with low self esteem, low confidence, hating what I looked like everyday, hanging out with my skinny friends back then was torture for me because I was constantly comparing myself to them (I know they loved me, wished I loved myself as much as they loved me). I hated that I fixated on the way I looked but hey that's what society has programmed us to do. It's easy to be like love yourself blah blah when you're not in the position of constant self hatred. I've tried calorie counting, diets, seeing a nutritionist (which helped a little only to later realized that it wasn't sustainable for me and I developed an eating disorder.) Although I'm pretty sure I've had an eating disorder ever since I was little and now I feel like shit every time I eat food or get scared to eat. I think the only person who I really saw results with and was sustainable was my personal trainer. (Shoutout Michael!) Hopefully, I can come back once I find a job again. (Can someone please fawking hire me already?)

So yeah going on a tangent, apologies! I started running when lockdown hit and I loved it but I also developed hammer toes and it hurt so much to walk and wear shoes. I went to a podiatrist and they were like get orthopedics and I was like okay but they were so expensive even with health insurance and I'm like okay well fuck this so I got surgery and I was so fucking miserable. lmao. I couldn't do anything and didn't leave my bad. It hurt so much to eat that I lost so much weight and I got so sad like crying for days. I realized I needed help if I didn't want k*ll myself so I called the hotline at midnight and it was nice actually. I've heard bad stories but thankfully the person I talked to listened to what I had to say and he brought up the Dodgers. lmao. And he was like maybe I'll see you at a Dodgers' game. I hit up a therapist the next day, a week later hit up a psychiatrist and was prescribed sertraline. (An antidepressant). The weight loss was crazy because I've never been that thin and I wasn't sure how to feel because it was deadass depression weight loss. I was happy with the weight loss but sad about how I lost it. I had so much loose skin that I also decided to do a tummy tuck, skin removal and thigh lift surgery and the recovery was such a pain in the ass but I felt so good and clothes actually fit. I should have probably waited till the next year because I took so much antibiotics that I found out I have leaky gut so I have to stay away from gluten, diary and processed sugar for the time being. (Hopefully cause my gawd I miss eating bread.) I have so much bloating, inflammation, joint pain, brain fog, acne breakouts, tingling sensations, pain on my sides and the list can go on. I went to my primary care doctors and a neurologist and they didn't really help much. Finally went to a holistic doctor and she figured out what was wrong with me and I know it's going to take awhile for everything to heal but I just want to stop feeling like this. (I also had surgery in 2013 to get an ovarian cyst removed and I didn't know I had it because everyone called me fat and they told me the cyst was making me bloated as shit.) I'm trying not to be resentful and look at the past but it's hard because there's so much trauma. Felt like my family didn't love me if I wasn't skinny.

My therapist said I should stop blaming myself but I can't help it. I know things are going to get better and I'm doing my part and putting in my best effort to heal and follow the treatment plan. I know I'm being impatient but for once in my life, I just want to be healthy again and enjoy food without being scared to eat it. Luckily, a healed gut is attainable so I need to keep fighting for it. I know it's going to be worth it in the end. I'm also paying so fucking much for this holistic doctor like I better have the strongest gut in the world and lose 100 pounds so that when I turn to the side no one can see me.

I am also in a lot of credit card debt and I know I'll pay it off once someone hires me but the job market is so fucking hard right now. Probably need to sell feet pics or find a sugar daddy to afford my lifestyle. (lmao jk, kind of) The way I applied to so many jobs the past week and a half is crazy. Just have to trust the Universe and believe and manifest.

Right now, I just really want to focus on healing my gut so I can eat yummy things again, getting a new full time job with higher pay and being surrounded by my loved ones. One of those things where I so badly want things to get better and it feels like no matter how hard I try, things seem to be moving slow. But they're moving, I guess? lmao.

I just want the best for me and it's going to happen because I deserve it and I said so and what I say goes. I hope you try your best to love yourself through this process and to know that things are going to be so amazing for you that you're going to wonder why you felt like this. The setback is stronger than the comeback. Remember that.

And one more time, Happy Birthday, Kobe. I miss and love you 24/8. <3

[caphayzardous]

:) [slam dunks] lol had a great time w sweetheart stayed over for two nights (having a darling to hold on cold ass wintery nights dude like YEAAAA)

just a nice time and there was a decent amount of darkest dungeon 2 hehe I like watching that one

also yesterday evening I took her to see a room with some experimental fashion pieces made of scoby (THATS. THE FILM THE FORMS ATOP FERMENTING KOMBUCHA OR WHATEVER BTW. it was thin and translucent and sticky and pale reddish flesh-toned) and also some made (grown?) out of mushrooms+mould lol (those ones I would not touch LMAO not on yr life). shes got high appreciation and tolerance for gross things so I am like proud I got to show them something that disgusted them asjfjsn (thats dating a weird goth I guess, she likes to be disturbed hehe)

also we went to that one polish restaurant bar again and good lord. fuck almighty. theres this like pierogi with jalapenos (discovering at this exact moment that new phone doesnt have all the accented letter options?? must amend) and the potato blintz. ah it was just such a well-fed day...

and we watched (most of) 1946 french beauty and the beast (forgive me I need to look up again how to spell it but it might be la belle et la bete? with accents soemwhere probably.) but then went to sleep before it finished =w=

AND. before all this, on the wednesday before I got her from late shift at work, I spent that day with kf because it was kfs bday and she tookthe day off work and we like cruised to secondhand stores and things and I got a bolero (crop jacket, bit of embroidered detailing...) which I am so keen to style (that is what I will do after this post lol) and Im gonnatake it to goth festival, and, we also schemed and added a bunch of day trips to the germany plan (its going to be exhausting because we had to cram them in the last few days lol BUT travel is simply always gonna be exhausting SO) so we've got the four days of festival then theweek in berlin then a night in düsseldorf for depechemode then the next day to frankfurt for a 13th century cathedral then the next day to nürnberg for a 12th century castle then back up to berlin for the last night aehehaahah :))) kfs mum gave him a lonelyplanet guide book thing for germany and it makes it so much easier lol than our respective attempts at Online Searching for thjngs to do and we could look at the map and plan these lines of travel and yeah!!!

AND THOSE are how my very nice last couple of days have been :) Im once again back to normal positive feeling re: girl (she asked me to send pictures while im away uwu said theyd miss me hehe) and thanks to wednesday scheming (plus paying off most of the hotel bookings in advance that day, because it was kind of looming over me not knowing how much id have left after they were all paid. probs wont go broke from the trip but ooo its a close one ahhah) has me now feeling finally more excited than fearful! about the trip! omfg yay.

:D

#caphaytext #TLDR WELL-FED FEELING HAPPY AND NORMAL AND EXCITED FOR THING IM MEANT TO BE EXCITED ABOUT