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#yeah idk im projecting bite me

autism-criminal · 8 months

Text

i never made an intro post 😨

so uh yeah here we go wheeeeeee

my name is deary and maybe x , I am very cool . My pronouns are it/he and sometimes it/they .3 I’m aroace , and I think I’m biromantic or just gay !

I am professionally diagnosed with AuADHD , anxiety , and depression . I’m also robotkin !

If you’d like me to tag or tw something , please tell me , whether that be through dms or an ask ! I value your safety and comfort !

I like drawing ! ask me to draw your OC and I will do so in the span of 2 hours-2 days .

Seven means a lot . Idk how much , but imagine seven is the biggest number in the world ! I call characters dilfs and like terms as a joke ( refer to paragraph #1 )

I am like . fuckinf obsessed with FNaF, but I do not support Scott Cawthon’s anti-LGBTQ2IA+ views .

my other interests are Psych and Jurassic Park / World !

I love being tagged in things . Pls don’t hesitate to tag me in things

I LOVE NICKNAMES AIODCUOAKDOX

oc lore so far

Silva, Shroom Guy, Notata and Apparatus Phobos 2 ( I probably have more lore for him but I can’t find it )

Im cool, but you know who’s even cooler ?

@jadegrimm @songboylyric @whymustibefunny @fagtron2000 @finleyforevermore @treasure-goblin @noodleedoodleeoodle @ccritterbugg @bloodcoveredbutch @robotwithanr @therealjackdsaf @t0esniffer69 @mochablogger @mewo-cressei @kirvee @inkythew0lf @f1nch3z @just-hyper-active @11somecat11 @j-snapdragon @julietheidiot @cultedpersonality @starfish-spencer @clawdiia @starrystims @shawnaise @iceeericeee @beepboopchibbo @angel-devil-star @idonoiyo @thathingwiththepotatoes @tipsylemonwater @enchanting-grom-fright @breadonthestreet @living-my-ghibli-dream @beewasdeleted @bossbabyfan2

my platonic valentine !! even in march @idonoiyo <3333333

also, MY DADS !!! @wheredidmybooksgo @the-grave-doctor !!!!! The best dads ever !!!!

and my grandmama !! @the-squishy-scrimblo !!!

check them out .D

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The Join Us For A Bite project :

Intro/Intrumental

my tags are as follows :

#rewatching garbity farls - when i rewatch gravity falls

#PHOBOS LORE - lore or just art for the siller

#best dad ever - for when I’m talking with the best dad ever

#best grandmama ever - for when I’m talking with the best grandmama ever

#lassieposting - for when I post about Carlton Lassiter or find a post that I think is related to Carlton Lassiter

#words ain’t wordin - a tag I pre-made for when I go semi- or non-verbal

#avatarposting - posts about atla ( the new show or the animated one )

DNI :

racists / homophobes / transphobes etc

pedos

nsfw blogs

Please don’t send donation asks , I’ll just assume it’s a scam

that’s it B]

#tw swearing #tw caps #intro post wow

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thermodynamic-comedian · 1 month

Note

Tma characters that I think are trans women:

Peter Lukas (Starts biting my own arm off) (she does not know) (isolation theme)

Mike Crew (shes awesome) (takes no hrt just vibes) (she/he/they probably)

Georgie Baker (she slayy) (she vibe) (Im obsessed with her)

Helen Richardson (this one is just canon)

That one coffin gal from episode two

Gerry Keay

Tma characters I think are trans FEM but do not id as women:

Jonathan Simz (Weird nonbinary girlfreakthing)

Melaine King (Self-explanatory honestly)

Helen Richardson again

Sasha James

Jane Prentiss

Tma's various nonbinaries:

Timothy Stoker if she had lived past the unknowing (haha! Got your gender cracked by an evil clown who killed your brother looser)

Oliver Banks (she is sooo cool honestly Im obsessed with them. Another day another slay, king)

Gertrude Robinson (no explanation needed)

Martin Blackwood (he left his gender behind in the lonley 🙏 rip king)

Mr Pitch (mostly because eye think its funny)

Jurgen Leitner (funny again)

The spider from a guest for mr spider

Nikola Orsinov

Basira Hussain (girl-ways)

Daisy (dog)

Wouldn't it be funny if I put Callum Brodie on this list

Callum Brodie

Annabelle Cane (yeahg)

Tma characters whom I think are transmasc but dont id as men:

Jonah Magnus (yeah) (you know) (you know the drill)

Gertrude Robinson again

Micheal Shelly (uh huh)

Oliver Banks is also here

Julia Montauk

Celia

Martin Backwood again

Tma characters whom I think are trans men:

Agnes Montague (bites my own arm off)

Gertrude Robinson (yeah. Again. Hes got complexities, okay)

Rosie (uh huh) (yeah) (I know him personally)

Simon Fairchild (funny) (honestly hes just like me forreal) (slash j)

Tma characters whom I think are cis (sorry guys)

Jude Perry

Elias Bouchard (..maybe in another universe. Wink wink.)

Maxwell R*yner

Manuela

Jered Hopworth

Breekon and Hope but not like, their men or anything. They were just born agender like the humble mollusk

If I forgot someone just assume their nonbinary. Okay. Thanx 👍

very respectable. may i humbly present. my own assorted headcanons

genderfluid transfem jonah magnus. but like. it changes very slowly. takes like a decade to load a new gender. also alterhuman.

absolute opposite of that simon fairchild. gender changes by the hour. insert terminal velocity joke here. almost pangender in nature

trans man peter lukas. idk i just like this one.

transmasc non-binary lesboy melanie king. i know in my soul.

it's the portion of the post where i project. cistrans not!sasha, cistrans nikola orsinov, cistrans jane prentiss. goodbye

#tma #the magnus archives #tma headcanons

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nonexistent-introvert · 1 year

Text

Birthdays (paper stars 9)

Paring: Joel Miller x f!reader

Word count: 4K

Content: Joel’s birthday, Sarah and Joel’s dynamic. Swearing (Im not sure my brain isn’t working.)

A/N: I went for HSLOT recently and idt I’ve truly recovered. Anyways enjoy this long chapter that is more messy than anything bc I’m writing this at 1am to deal with the fact that it’s a weekday tmr.

Paper stars masterlist

Tommy wanted to bury himself six feet under. The atmosphere, the tension and the sullen looks on Joel and your faces made him incredibly uncomfortable. He had spent almost an entire week before he managed to convince you to hang out with him and Joel. He had spent the same week assuring Joel that he would help make things right between the both of you. Tommy could not keep up a conversation between the three of you, he could only have a single conversation with one person at a time while the other drifts off into space.

You were trying your best to mask your emotions. The various notifications from Joel still sat unread and unnoticed on your phone. Tommy could tell that you were trying your best to keep the mood up with smiles that never quite reached your eyes, polite smiles that you had given to everyone. Joel used another strategy to masked his emotions, he didn’t hide his true feelings behind smiles but simply a blank and unreadable look. Preferring to withdraw himself.

“I fucking give up. What the hell happened between the both of you. You guys have never been this distant with each other before.” Tommy snapped, folding his arms over his chest. SImilar to an adult trying to settle a disagreement between two children. Joel glanced at you, his eyes shining with vulnerability. You looked behind Tommy’s shoulder, shuffling your feet with a small smile on your face. “It’s nothing Tommy.”

“Nothing?” Tommy huffed, “I could have been catching up on sleep today but I decided that i would play peacemaker between the two of you and this is what i have to go through?” tommy complained. “I never asked you to play peacemaker.” Joel muttered. A comment that earned him a single cold glare from you to which he looked away after. “Well, I’m sorry then. I’m sorry for always sticking my big fat nose into your affairs Joel. I guess I would always be the younger brother trying to kiss his older brother’s ass to you.” Tommy spat. Joel was losing his patience, paired with the lack of sleep and constant worry from the past few days, it was an understatement to say Joel was losing it. “Yeah? I’m glad you realised-”

“Enough already.” You pushed Joel away from Tommy. “Fucking hell.” You ran your hands through your hair. “Yes, something happened between us but as you can see none of us here is ready to talk about anything.” You told Tommy calmly. Tommy clenched his jaw, sparing a glance to you before he closed his mouth again. Biting back any remarks he was going to make. He quickly hailed a cab, slamming the door before the driver drove away.

“What the hell has gotten into you?” You shouted at him. Shaking your head in disappointment. Joel stood still, his eyes casted onto the floor. You pursed your lips, how much of him have just been a projection from your past? You turned your back when you heard his heavy footsteps. He held your arm with a firm grip. “Can we talk? Please.” He asked, his eyes boring into yours. You looked at him, contemplating an answer. He looked down, trying to find the right words. “You have been ignoring me and everything I did to reach out. Just listen to me this time and I’ll stop bothering you.” You didn’t miss the hurt look that flashed across his face when you wrung your hand out of his grip.

“What the hell was that to Tommy?” You asked, feeling unjust for your best friend. Tommy was trying to lift the mood, he didn’t deserve receiving those comments from Joel. “Fuck, I just- I just snapped at him. I’m sorry- I. Fuck I’m just a mess.” he laughed cruelly at himself. You leaned against a railing, inviting him to do so too. “Hey, just-calm down.” You comforted, Joel was sweating, his breaths was uneven. He already had enough health issues to worry about.

“I-. I meant to say that I’m sorry for standing you up. I didn’t mean to I swear. I just got carried away with the drinks.” “With another girl?” Joel’s eyes widened, did you see him? “You saw me?” You sighed, “I walked past the bar on my way back.” Your heart sunk, Joel had just confirmed your suspicions. “No, you got it all wrong. She’s Tommy’s girlfriend. I was with Tommy that day.” Joel let out a shaky breath, “Tommy asked me to go get drinks with him, he wanted me to meet his girlfriend. Her name is Maria.” You opened your mouth to ask for a further explanation. Then all the thinking you did for the past few days hit you, him drinking with another woman shouldn’t bother you. “I-I honestly don’t care that you’re drinking with others Joel. I was just upset that you stood me up without a further notice.” “I’m sorry, I know it doesn’t help but I just got carried away. It won’t happen again.” You turned away from him, a heavy question on your mind.

“Would there even be an ‘again’?” Joel tilted his head in confusion. You closed your eyes, swallowing the lump that was forming in the back of your throat. “What was that dinner even for Joel?” It was just another phrasing for the cliche question, “What are we?” He would notice if he knew how to read between the lines. Joel furrowed his eyebrows, the wrinkles making their presence known. He knew exactly what you meant, but the doubts that formed that day was present today again. “It’s just a simple dinner.” He replied. You nodded, chuckling lightly at his answer. It was all in your head all along. “I see.” You replied. “Thanks for clearing it up.” You smiled to him, a smile that seemed so distant.

“Are we… good?”

“Yeah, I guess we are.”

Joel knew he gave you the wrong answer as he watched your figure retreat into the distance. He kicked the ground frustratingly. It was for your own good. He told himself.

=================================

It was anything but good. Everything changed after that. You stopped coming around for dinner, Joel stopped coming around at night. The only time you talk to Joel is when Sarah is around. You started keeping yourself busy with work and other friends. Joel focused on his business and Sarah. It was like you guys had started waking your own separate paths.

Tommy noticed of course. His relationship with Joel went through a rough patch after that day too. It eventually evened out, like all the rough patches he had with Joel. At first he thought that the both of you just never resolved whatever happened. However, Joel wasn’t his distracted self, he was in fact even more focused than before. You started smiling and laughing more carefree, grinning from ear to ear when he sees you around or through pictures of you on social media with your friends.

“We settled it.” Joel had told him but your absence in Joel’s life made him realize that even if it may be resolved, something big had happened.

“Uncle Tommy.” Sarah snapped Tommy out of his daze. Tommy tightened his grip around Sarah’s hand, leaning down to ask her what’s wrong. “Do you know what happened between Dad and -“ Tommy’s loud sigh cut her off. He didn’t need her to finish her sentence to know. Sarah had always been an observant kid. Tommy shrugged, “Been wondering the same thing too.”

“It’s just- it’s dad’s birthday in two days. I want all of us to celebrate it together with him but Dad and her seem weird around each other.” Sarah confessed. “Weird how?” Tommy opened the truck’s door for her. “Their conversations seems very forced and awkward now. But Dad still looks at her like a lost puppy. I caught him looking at her from our kitchen window.” Sarah laughed at how Joel insisted that he was just in a daze. Tommy chuckled, “If Joel hears that, he will be whining non stop about how he’s not.” Tommy buckled his seat belt, “Just do it. The only thing I know for sure is that they would do anything for you.”

================================

Tommy was right. You couldn’t decline Sarah’s invite no matter how much you wanted to. When she showed up at your door, a handmade invite to come for Joel’s birthday. You agreed immediately, not realising the consequences of your actions. You rubbed your face with your hands as you stood in the store, stressing over a gift for Joel. Joel is the person you had fallen for ever since you were young, from a crush to feelings. Then he disappeared for a few years but his presence was always there with you and now you stood in a store stressing over a birthday gift for him after he had snuffed out any hope that he had feelings for you. Even if you were still struggling to come to terms with that fact, you still had to suck it up and celebrate his birthday because you didn’t want to deal with Sarah’s disappointment.

“Are you looking for a gift for your lover?” Lover, you almost scoffed in reply. “No, he’s just a friend.” You told the older lady who had came up to you. She smiled, “Hmm, but he is not quite just a ‘friend’ is he?” You rubbed the back of your neck, were you that obvious, what if you were thinking out loud? You mentally cringed at the last thought. “Pardon me if I am overstepping.” the old woman apologised upon witnessing your silence. “Oh um, you’re sort of right. He’s an old friend but..” You admitted with a sheepish smile. She shook her head in amusement, “I recognise that look. We tend to have the worst dilemma when it comes to picking out presents for the people we love. Simply because we want it to be perfect for them.” She continued, admiring the various items on display. “I’ll give you a tip. I’m sure he’ll appreciate something that shows off more of you.” You gave the old lady a questioning look. She chuckled warmly, “I used to be the same as you, but one day I didn’t know what to get him so I simply wrote a card for him. My old man cried and up till now, he still keeps the letter tucked in his work desk. He says he reads it whenever despite how many times I told him to get rid of it. It’s embarrassing.” The old woman eyes crinkled as she thought of her husband, a look of adoration evident on her faace.

You pursed your lips, deep in thought before a look of realisation dawned upon you.

“Thanks! I think I know what to give him now.” You grinned, bowing a little to her.

The paper stars, you’ll suck everything up and just give it to him.

“We have enough of these trinkets home.” A voice interrupted the conversation you were having with the old woman. She smiled at the man who had came up to him, the very same look of adoration was given back to her despite how he had just complained and you knew immediately that this old man is the same man she had just mentioned. “I was just having a conversation with the lovely lady here.” She clarified. The old man eyes drifted to you to which you gave him a meek wave. His look changed, as though he recognised you. You brushed it off, smiling at the couple before you. “Oh dear, we got to go back. I have to cook dinner tonight.” The old woman reminded as she glanced at the watch on her husband’s wrist.

“Have a nice day.” the man bidded. “I wish you luck. You’re a lovely woman, I’m sure he will notice that soon enough.” The old woman said. You nodded as you waved to the old couple, envying them. Their body language, how they treated each other. You could tell from miles apart how deeply in love they were with each other.

“Darling, did you know who she was?” The old man questioned, the old woman shook her head. “No, she just reminded me of how I looked when I was younger and trying to pick a gift for you.” She admitted with a laugh. The old man stared, trying his best to recall where he had seen you. “Oh!” He exclaimed. Excitement shined in his eyes, “Remember Joel? I think she is the woman he was talking about then, with heart eyes.” The old woman face brightened up too, “Oh, the lady in the picture!” She said, thinking back of when she had questioned the photo he had kept in his wallet. The old man nodded enthusiastically. “Well, I really do hope that she’s referring to him then.” the old woman sighed before retelling the conversation to him. He grinned, “It probably is him. His birthday is tomorrow.” The old woman smiled, “I hope everything goes well.” The old man nodded, thinking back on the boy who had came up to him and pleaded for a job back then. “I wonder how he’s doing. He was of great help. A quick learner and a great man. I think he helped attract a few more customers with his looks too.” The man laughed which earned a slap from the woman. “We ought to have him over for dinner someday.” The man nodded in agreement. “Maybe he’ll bring her along too.” She giggled

==================================

“Happy birthday Joel.” the words repeated in your mind. A constant reminder in case you panic and end up a stumbling mess in front of him when he opens the door. You were late, you tried your best but it just had to be today that you had difficulty getting away from work. The door swung open and you blurted the word ‘happy’ before Sarah’s face greeted you instead. “Dad’s late.” she told you, disappointment evident in her voice.

You walked in, pressing on your phone. “I’ll pester Tommy.”

Tommy picked up, “Hey,Thought you were Sarah.” He greeted. “Are you with Joel?” “Mhm yeah, man would not get out of his office. I tried multiple times but he’s stubborn.” Tommy complained from the safety of his own office. “What is he doing?” You questioned. “We got a big customer recently, its a make or break one. Joel is giving it his best plus he has been pretty focused on work these past weeks too.” Tommy said. You sighed, “I bet he forgot that it was his birthday.” He always did, he was never one for birthdays. Tommy stretched from his seat, “Yeah. How’s Sarah? It’s pretty late.” Tommy glanced at the clock. “Disappointed, I was late too.” You told him. He sighed, “I’m trying my best.” You nodded, reassuring tommy before hanging up.

“He’s swamped with work isn’t he?” Sarah asked, you sighed, noticing the disappointed look on her face. “Yeah. Are you tired?” you sat down next to her as she flipped through the channels on the TV. “Kinda. But I’m fine.” “Sleep first then. I’ll wake you up when he’s back.” You suggested. “No, I’ll last.” She insisted, her eyes fell to the box beside her. “That’s the watch?” You asked excitedly, trying to avert her thoughts away from the disappointment. She handed it to you, “Do you think he’ll like it?” You smiled looking at it. It was a pretty ordinary watch except for the green strap. The green that reminded you of Joel. “Maybe he will actually start being on time for things now.” Sarah laughed. “You have a good eye.” You complimented, gently placing the box back onto the table. Sarah groaned as she stared at the clock again, you listened to her complain about Joel but you know that despite her complaining, she knows deep down that Joel was doing this all for her. “What did you get for him?” She asked. You handed her the large jar of paper stars you had brought him. “Paper stars?” She questioned. “Yeah, it’s stupid I know.” She grinned, “No I didn’t mean it that way. Just asking if there is a hidden meaning.” She asked,. You stared at Sarah, only just realising that she had the same brown eyes he had. “Hmm, it’s a stupid meaning too.” She stopped boucning around, stared at you and gave you her fullest attention.

“I liked him when I was younger but I thought it was a crush. I figured that everytime he did something that made my heart flutter I’ll fold a paper star for him. When one day it fills up, I’ll confess. If it doesn’t then it would just be a crush.” You simply explained. Her eyes lit up. “You like Dad!” She exclaimed in excitement. You blushed, you couldn’t bring yourself to deny it. “But you never told him?” She questioned, admiring the paper stars that you had so pain painstakingly folded. “I moved away before I could.” You told her, deciding to leave out the part that he had also just gotten together with her mother.

“So are you going to confess to him today?” Sarah asked, “Cause I would definitely accept if I was him.” She added on. You shook your head, “It will just ruin his birthday and my day.” Sarah frowned, “Your dad, he-he doesn’t see me that way. Never did it seems like.” Sarah hugged you, catching you off guard. “I honestly doubt that.” She muttered. You smiled, her hug was consoling you. You hoped that she was right too.

==================================

Sarah was lying on your lap fast asleep. Your legs were becoming numb but you still stayed still. The sound of keys made you quickly nudge Sarah awake. “I think he’s back.” You muttered. She rubbed her eyes groggily before she processed what you told her. Sarah sat up, you could tell that it was taking all her control not to open the door for him. The moment Joel;s figure peeked out from the door, Sarah tackled her father. You heard Joel chuckled heartily.

“Happy birthday Dad!” She exclaimed, long forgotten that she was disappointed a few hours ago when she realised Joel was late. “Can’t join in. Only managed to get him home by doing the remaining work for him. Enjoy.” Tommy messaged. You typed out a quick reply before looking back at the door. Joel had picked Sarah up, you quickly helped him with the door as he placed his suitcase by the wall and removed his shoes. Sarah’s excited words and Joel’s calming voice fading into the background as your heart pounded in your chest. Why were you nervous?

“Hey.” He smiled to you, you nodded meekly. Even in the dark, his smile seemed to glow, it seemed brighter than usual today. “You guys were just sitting in the dark?” He laughed, using one hand to flick the lights on. “How else were we supposed to surprise you? Plus it saves us electricity.”

You didn’t miss how the smile on Joel’s face falter. He didn’t want Sarah to worry about the bills at home. “Happy birthday Joel.” He grinned at you, his eyes becoming small as he smiled so widely as he put Sarah down. “Sit down!” Sarah led him to the couch. He placed his arm over the cushion and directly behind you. You stiffened slightly at the contact. He casted a worried glance towards you, cautious to not overstep boundaries but you leaned back anyways. Your body slowly relaxing in his touch. Sarah thrusted the box to Joel, his gaze narrowed at her. “What’s this?” “Just open it” you laughed.

Joel eyes widened at the sight of the watch. “Well you keep complaining about your watch.” Sarah started, eyeing Joel carefully for his reaction. Joel plucked the watch out from its box delicately and put it on. A proud grin spread across his features as he stared at the watch, it suited him well. “You like it?” Joel hummed. “Honey, it’s nice but-“ “What?” The panic in Sarah’s voice was evident. You looked at the watch, resisting the urge to roll your eyes at Joel. He glanced at you with a mischievous look. He tapped on the watch, “I think it’s stuck.” Sarah grabbed his arm over, glancing at the watch. “No, no.” She rolled her eyes at Joel’s antics “oh haha.” She replied sarcastically, shoving Joel’s hand away. “You’re so annoying.” You remarked. He simply laughed. “Where did you even get the money for this?” “Drugs. I sell cold hard drugs.” Sarah laughed, snuggling to your side. Joel admired the watch further. “Great. You can start helping out on the mortgage then.”

You gently sat up, “Where are you going?” Sarah asked. “I’ll take a picture of the both of you.” You smiled. It was simple, no cake, not even dinner. Joel probably loved this, a tiny feeling made you feel like you were interrupting a private moment. “No. You haven’t even gave Dad your gift.” Joel raised his eyebrows in surprise, you wanted to scoff at his response. Sure you were a bad giver but he expected nothing? You pursed your lips, your jar of paper stars felt silly after a watch. It was as though your gifts had been swapped.

“This is stupid but here.” Joel looked confused by the jar of paper stars. Then it occured to him that it was the same jar from that day when you chased him out of your house. The very same that he fumbled with. “It’s not stupid.” Sarah defended, she wished you had more confidence in yourself. “So that was what-“ “No, kinda. Long story.” You clarified. “I ruined your surprise didn’t I?” Joel asked, his eyes boring into yours. “No. It’s just-“ you wished you had a way with words. Joel would have made a teasing remark about how you should have kept the surprise better but he was smart enough to realize maybe now was not the time.

A silence fell between you two. A silence that made everyone uncomfortable. Sarah was panicking inside. “What would uncle Tommy do?” She wondered in her head, only he will be able to break the ice. “Let’s take the picture.” She suggested instead. “I’ll take it.” You offered but Sarah dragged you down. “Join the photo.” Joel suggested. You looked at Sarah who nodded enthusiastically.

Sarah sat on Joel’s left after hitting the timer while you were on his right. His arm was behind you while he pulled Sarah tighter. His hand hung over Sarah’s shoulder, the watch she had bought him in full display. The jar of paper stars were balanced between your lap and his. Sarah posed with a peace sign and Joel pulled you closer, earning a grin from you.

The photo soon joined the frames of photos that was decorated around Joel’s house.

============================

The paper stars now stood on Joel’s nightstand. He had glanced at it, wondering what was the significance behind the paper stars. You were never one to buy just random gifts, plus you had it for months. There was definitely some kind of sentimental value. He sat down on the bed and pried off the lid. Staring and gently shaking the jar as he watched the stars move around. There must be a memory, maybe from childhood? He cursed his ageing memory.

He flicked on the lamp on his nightstand. His arm accidentally brushing the lid off to the floor. He sighed, picking the lid up. His eyes widened in surprise. There was a letter on the floor, he stared back at the lid. It had been taped onto the underside of the lid before.

He leaned against his pillow, staring at the letter that was titled to him. He admired the handwriting of his name, wondering when you had written this.

“Dear Joel, you’ll never read this but-“

Joel’s eyes drifted close before he even finished the sentence. Exhaustion catching up with him.

#joel miller fanfiction #joel miller x reader #tlou #joel miller tlou #tlou x reader #joel miller #joel tlou #joel miller x f!reader #pedro pascal x reader #the last of us #joel miller angst #joel #joel miller fluff #joel the last of us

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just-antithings · 10 months

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lol I took a big risk in public a couple weeks ago. my queer youth research group (long story) was doing a unit on crit thinking vs crit theory and I was asked very nicely by one of the AdultsIn Charge (I’m a Youth lol) to pick a Youth Thing that We Are Going to be Affected By that the adults may not be as aware of (longer story) and anyways I was gon do smth else but mentioned antis as a good Example of Why Being Able to Crit Think and make Good Decisions is Important TM and they asked me to expand and anywyas I made a ppt and I’m still adding to it lol. like yeah my presentation’s come and gone but they’ll all still allowed to look thru it. I have so many screenshots and links and stuff saved now. I feel a little like a lawyer who is gathering evidence for court 😂😂

Im also basing a good chunk of my argument on the BITE model (for cults) and god. organizing it all like this is scary. And idk but I think one of my project mates is a anti but whatever worst case scenario he causes a fuss and proves me right. (I am ignoring solidly all other bad consequences thank)

it was very scary but hey :3 im making progress. my specific research topic for “improving queer youth” is going to be queer youth’s vulnerability to cults and cult-like situations. probably will tie into abusive relationships as well

that sounds awesome!

#mod erin #ask #abuse mention #cult mention

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pinkmoondoll9shihtzu · 1 year

Text

diiary 2/25/2023

okayyy i been needing to write a longform post for a while! just to chronicle some thoughts in a cohesive way. & getting straight to the point: i'm realizing there is very little, if ANY payoff, to being an artist online. i'm not talking about money. im talking about the way it's like, the more ppl start to see you as an "artist", the more they feel like ur some kind of public figure they can lash out at w no repercussions. ur humanity is just wiped from their minds. i don't have some huge following by any means but for ME its gotten big since in the past i've been a serial deleter. usually at 800 followers im gone.

i love being creative & sharing for the sake of sharing but i deeply fear any kind of spotlight. since i came back onto tumblr i made the pledge to myself not to delete my account if it started growing but now im having second thoughts!! well i'll never delete this account cus im too sentimental but part of me just wants to stop posting in the ways i tend to do. like maube im too forthcoming & need to slink back into the shadows a bit. because i don't want to stop contributing art & music to the world but idk how to protect my heart.

like it's so crazy to me that artists are expected to b these idealistic icons of everything the viewer represents & if they make a single mistake its like fuck we better launch a pUBLIC HARASSMENT CAMPAIGN!! genuinely like, how are people supposed to want to put themselves out there when the climate is so hostile? it has got me feelin rly nihilistic i must admit. trying to put nice stuff into the world shld not be generating drama for me, especially when it's just my hobby & not even my "career".

for a while ive had no idea what to do for work or how to generate income in a way that works for me but honestly? im gonna bite the bullet & do some coding bootcamps so i can try n get a remote job doing some tech shit & making a fat salary. i guess i never rly considerd it before cus all the silicon valley stuff susses me out but idk. im naturally really good at code + my only real dream in life is to be able to support others & redistribute wealth. like ive never had anything of my own to share but if i could actually do this & become the secure+charitable person i wish to be, i think i cld finally have some inner peace/sense of fulfillment. plus i cld still be a recluse ^_^

ok well i guess that my diary entry for now. im rly grateful to everyone on this site who is genuine & respectful towards me. i am really enjoying all my creative projects right now & i just dont want it to ever stop being fun just because the internet doesnt want it to be fun for me. i seriously wonder why artists are the number one targets right now, i mean not to get too conspiratorial but like, this is exactly what the CIA wants :/ wahtever....i have no agenda other than plur. but yeah, i might just start to distance myself more from posting anything other than my work. we'll see. just kno that i dnt want it to b this way. ilu guys

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fairycosmos · 1 year

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do you ever feel like people automatically think something is wrong with you when you have no interest in dating/being in a relationship? i was talking to my friend about how i haven't had a crush on someone in years and im fine with being single and she immediately started bringing up my childhood trauma (like "do you think because of what you went through with your parents you can't open yourself up to love?") and this was weeks ago but i can't stop thinking about it. i know she didn't mean harm by what she said but i hate the idea that being content with myself is synonymous with being traumatized, when ive always been this way. ive always prided myself in my self-assurance and independence so to hear a close friend basically say its a trauma response (which sure it might be but it's mostly just how im wired i think) seemed kind of weird to me. she said a similar thing later when i was talking about how im never really bothered by my physical appearance and she said something like "maybe that's because you never try to pursue people romantically" as if she expects my confidence in my appearance to dwindle as soon as i have a crush on someone, even though ive spent a lot of time working on building that confidence. idk it feels like projection to me

YESSS ppl act this way towards me all the time and it makes me want to bite my own hands off! my one friend is convinced i dont like dating bc of school trauma and parental trauma and self-esteem issues and it's like Ok? while all of those things are a genuine issue for me i also just. dont feel anything like that for anyone. my life does not revolve around dating prospects and i don't want it to. i've always said this but i feel like falling in love is actually a pretty rare thing and sooo many ppl are just together bc of timing or convenience or desperation, and yet we're still treated like the weirdos for not wanting to engage with that endless trial and error? when being single is perfectly comfortable anyway? i totally get why your friend saying that made you feel weird. it's like the concept of being happy while single is sooo foreign to them that they have to pathologise it which is just kind of crazy to think about really. they think theyre so right about it too, always so pitying and condescending it and it's like i don't know how to explain to you that im not pretending to not need anyone romantically to make myself feel better - i really, genuinely don't see dating as a necessity at this point and that's fine! i think you're right TBH part of it has to be projection with the way it gets ppl so fired up. like just because your self-esteem and happiness depends on whoever you're dating, doesn't mean everyone's does. srry. also that thing she said about your appearance was weird. it's really admirable that you've worked on being comfortable with yourself and i don't know why that effort would be reversed if you were to ever develop a crush? anyway yeah it will always annoy me that not dating isn't more normalised man! we’re just existing

#anon

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corvidcrowned · 3 months

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Peeks in

Hi i finished yttd and now i have to ask what exactly is the ai test idiots au? im very curious,,, from what i can tell its a sara ai? who became sentient? but idk abt the others lol im just oh so interested

ok so get this right.

the ai sims- aka where the percentages are from- were disrupted one day when a glitch happened, messing with everything going on in the facility. This happened when the sara ai won, causing her to achieve self-awareness! (Here’s a comic of what happened from red’s perspective kinda)

Before this event, the sims went pretty normally- one or two people winning and all the others dying. Noticeable patterns showed up though! The sara ai and keiji ai were pretty much nemeses, the sara ai killed the shin ai most times, and the anzu ai had a pretty decent win rate, particularly because of her rivalry with the sara ai. ‘PLEASE stop killing people’ ‘ermm.make me?’ You know.

The glitch that made the sara ai becoming self aware led to some other weird stuff happening though. For example the sim itself would glitch often leading to the ais themselves to get super corrupt for short periods of time. Very strange and unusual. Michiru was supervising all this but scientific curiosity was too much to make everything normal again.

Fun fact though !! The Sara ai ends up becoming a lot more different from the original, eventually becoming his whole own person entirely !! He goes by Red, originally a nickname from Michiru because of his eyes. He/it/bite little creature guy<3 the anzu ai clings to being ‘anzu’ longer though, since for a while getting back home because her family needed her was what kept her going. Eventually though, they accepted being an ai, picking out the name ‘Pierrot’ with Red’s help. The two of them won a lot of simulations together! Pier wins some alone too ofc but unlike red’s weird mother-son like relationship with Michiru, pierrot does not like her at all (here’s how they met)

Eventually the simulation is concluded and red gets put into a doll body (which is drastically customized- fangs and his red eyes. He cuts his hair a little bit too hehe) while Pierrot manages to get into the general system at asunaro. The two don’t see each other for a while because of this unfortunately but eventually they do reunite, pier just living in red’s (stolen) phone sometimes. <3

Red and Pier’s funny lil story goes in a few directions depending on things, they show up in a collaborative au between me and some friends (ai guys<3) and some other stuff, I wanna make a comic abt them eventually (the Pluto project..<3) but their ‘canon’ end is them living with the survivors of the death game!! Because. Red’s ass broke into the dg LOL. He was like ‘heyyyy emiri ^^ you know what would be funny..’ and she was like. ‘Get in there boy’. So red ends up hangin around and messing/hanging out with people!!! Like kai(here) and gin(here) but he and sara REALLY DO NOT GET ALONG!!!!

You see… Red is very jealous of Sara. Why did he have to be created just for her sake? How come she got homecooked meals and a family that loved her and friends and school and he had to live through hell every day?? Ofc sara’s life isn’t that great (her father is literally meister after all..) but red does not know that. Sara finds herself disturbed by red. This weird copy of her keeps running around causing trouble and insulting her to her face.. she thinks he was thrown in to make everyone trust her less or something. They’re so messed up…. After the death game though they hang out a lot. Make amends. I ljike them..

ERM YEAH THATS ALL OFF THE TOP OF MY HEAD..!!! Also candy’s here sometimes she’s a cute pink girl who kills<3 (she also is an ai of shin who takes after midori… a lot. Because she was directly under his thumb and had to deal with him she began to associate violence and love until the two concepts totally overlapped in her mind. AND she’s trans!)

#SO SORRY IF THIS IS INSANITY.did you know I’m really normal abt the ai test idiots #Ai test idiots #red namida #Pierrot #Candy

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waffled-iron · 1 year

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about me :D

hey!!! i'm velvet :]

i use they/them pronouns (she, he, it, are fine but not rlly preferred) and i represent myself as this shapeshifting cat thing

i am a minor, so don't be gross around me. well just don't be gross in general pretty please. adults can interact w/ me idrc just as long as u understand that i am underage 👍

more silly info:

my time zone is EST so if u like. yeah.

this is a multifandom blog with very little organization!! so sorry abt that /gen

i may accidentally spam interact w/ u its just that i love you very much

i lesbian 🫶 and unlabled trans

if u wanna know more abt me just ask!! im no good at introductions so its prob easier to do that. dont be shy, i may bite but dw abt that

oh and im a huge nerd about most things. usually science and biology related. i love arthropods sm dude its not even funny

balls? idk.

links!!

https://en.pronouns.page/@birthday_cement

discord: possibly_velvet

https://toyhou.se/PossiblyVelvet (my entire profile is a wip atm, but u can watch my progress!)

tags!

look at the tags below lol. they are mostly self explanatory

worlds and stories!

loamsta (solo)

unnamed earth thing (solo)

waterfall elementary (with zach and harvey)

the family family (with zach, harvey, toast, and more irl friends)

business inc. (with zach, harvey, toast, and more irl friends)

tiny tour (with zach, harvey, and the tiny cat himself)

in my head these all exist in the same universe but few of them (would) actually interact with each other

current projects?

I am currently working on making good toyhouse profiles for all my ocs! this includes making refs, custom pfps, adding lore and connections, writing lore for the whole planet, etc.

i am occasionally going to make normal art on the side but i am putting a majority of my attention to this project! this is what my schedule looks like. i hope to get the refs and info done for the specific categories every week, but for things like canines and felines, it would take a while longer.

currently on: for the love of god am i fucking back at humans again

past work: planet lore, ungulates, invertebrates, reptilians, avians, amphibians, lagomorphs, hybrids/species that are hybrids, humanoids, aquatic animals,

ocs that will need to be edited: jesus like all of them at this point

#art #loamsta #ask loamsta #oc lore tag #fanart tag #velvet tag #creepy velvet tag #velvet writing tag #toyhouse tag #the favorite ever #favs tag #giggle #photography #more to be added later!

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chawarin-panich · 1 year

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12?! You're amazing!! I have like maybe 3 ideas for fics in my head and the likelihood of any of them seeing the light of day is soooo slim. You're definitely a writing wizard! But hey! Whatever works for you! Writing is still writing - so just do you and it'll work itself out eventually! =D

I cannot wait that dribble! Kaipa calling on Alan's shit in order to help him grow and heal sounds wonderful! I know your tone will be so good! And who cares about being cheesy? You're having fun, I'm certainly having fun too!

Offgun fic is excellent yes, but that super romantic and pure fic you have ideas about. This I am salivating over! I love cheese, and I love sap. Gimme sugary sweet fic of them any day - it certainly suits them! <3

Well I have many praise where that came from. Though is it really praise when I'm just speaking the truth? 🤔 And I'm I de idea to talk to you too! 💚

just as a disclaimer whenever i talk about my talents or the quality of my writing, if unspecified, i am always comparing myself to...myself lol its the only way to keep sanity with that said i do think its quite amazing too that I have so many stories in the works! in that it has been a while since i lived in stories so thoroughly - at least a decade since i was a teenager when i was desperately processing my life through fic.

i don't know what it is about first and khaotung that has gripped me so tight but they really are my blorbos of all time and i can project absolutely everything onto them. But yeah here's why i think im always so motivated to write about them: 1) Their dynamic: Lots of things to love about this - their history obviously, how both of them have cycled through partners that havent quite stuck, how they lingered in the background of the other's CP. But most off all its that deep, beyond labels love they feel for each other such that the only word that even comes close is soulmate - which is exactly how i feel about @mr-iskender! in first's words: he completes my life! 2) Their base personalities: they're really quirky but like...in this almost neurodivergent way? like why are they always biting each other??? I have love languages that's like cracks fingers on someone's bicep to freak them out lmao idk i feel like i live on the same frequency as they do: anxious mess (first) and anxious mess - quiet edition (khaotung). 3) Their dynamic 2.0 - they are in subtle ways different in each other's presence (safehouse really killed me it really really did) than they are with everyone else which of course can be chalked down to comfort. it feels to me that this comfort stems from a recognition of the self (the projecting is starting) in the other.

As different as their outward personality seems like i find that there are core overlaps in the way they think and approach things. And I love exploring that below surface connection in fics. What's there when everything is stripped away? what remains when you forget that first tends to ramble and khaotung goes entire interviews just quietly (and lovingly) staring at first. How did they get here? How did First manage his people pleasing anxiety around someone like Khaotung who isn't very expressive? How does Khaotung deal with someone who needs so much reassurance when his happy place is being alone in his room with his cat?

they are like the OCs I could have written and their relationship is like a mystery i must solve hah! What was this answer even about? hahaha as always thanks for letting me ramble

#nani answers #nani's writing shenanigans #firstkhao #nice anons #my lovely alankaipa anon

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sadisticyouko · 2 years

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honestly i tend to latch onto any characters thatre kinda fucked up and obsessive with their attraction bc yandere stuff is like. a really big vibe for me jfjdjfj and its why i sometimes project a bit of yandere-ism on other chars too jfksjf i be out here kinning himiko toga and shes not a low kin by any means- ACTUALLY i just remembered a song, its one im absolutely obsessed with, cant tell if itd be ur style or not but its Mx Sinster by I Dont Know How But They Found Me and its. very good creepy lover yandere song 👀 (their other song Choke isnt the same vibe but its an upbeat violent song which is really really fun too :3 )

also yeah i dont relate to hiei at all but im absolutely obsessed with him because he hits like. all of my points of Favorite Character. which means basically he checks off all of the points of shadow the hedgehog, who im equally obsessed with HFKSHFK the only difference is that hiei is much more of an asshole and has no problem with murder lmao. but hes SO. hot. cute. handsome. im literally thinking about him constantly daily and its absolutely a key part of my major kurama kin feels hfksjf i just want to hold him so baddd. sits him in my lap and kisses and bites him. edgy lil tsundere who owns my heart

also its no worries !!! i dont mind vents on my dash, hell on the occasion ill vent on my main too lol. its ur blog so do whatever the hell u want with it !! sometimes we just gotta yell shit out of our brain!

ALSO YEA IM VERY INTROVERTED TOO and conversing in asks like this at first is for some reason easier. less daunting. brains r so weird fbsjf BUT sometime. hopefully soon. i will try to dm u. or u can try to dm me first if u want fjdkfj hell if ud wanna talk on discord instead (if u have one) u could lmk bc i tend to be more active on there since im always chattin with my gf there lol. but yeah uve always just gave me a vibe of someone thatd be fun to chill with !!! (so hopefully we both can breach our introversion to actually chat LOL)

Omg I LOVE himiko 🥺 I kin her relationship with her family but I’m not exact enough to say I fully kin her 😂 I don’t really relate to too many ppl in mha (except maaybe todoroki, or ururaka on a good day) I kin so many people in yyh cuz I grew up watching it and reading the manga since I was 9 ! and then proceeded to read very inappropriate fanfiction for the rest of my life apparently 😂 so they’ve all had very strong influences on my personality ! yandere is a favorite vibe of mine, I haven’t heard those songs but I’ll definitely check them out ! i like the aggressive stuff so it sounds like it’d be right up my alley !

and omg that makes so much sense ! hiei is definitely … attractive >\\\\\< it’s the height that makes me conflicted tho ! I’m only 5 feet tall but I still struggle with the idea of it 😂 his personality is perfect tho 👌 definitely simp material, he’s still one of my all time favorite characters and for good reason ! I feel like if I think too hard about him I’ll fall down the rabbit hole of crushing on him and I won’t be able to stop, and kurama wouldn’t like that very much at all ૮⸝⸝> ̫ <⸝⸝ ა

yea idk how but it feels easier like this for first time interactions ! It’s like I’m in a big open field and it makes me feel safer than if I were a bunny in the cardboard chat box or something IDK 😂 we’re just gonna play dm chicken until someone cracks 😂 I don’t have a discord but I’m almost always on here ! don’t be afraid to dm me ! sometimes my social battery runs out BUT I enjoy the interaction !! ૮⸝⸝> ̫ <⸝⸝ ა

#I’m glad u think I’m chill #i try to be good #not too unhinged yanno #bunny girl sadisticyouko confirmed #jkjk I like to think of myself as also a fox or wolf #okay now I’m just rambling #sadisticyouko asks #don’t be afraid to reach out I’m mostly normal !#sadisticyouko rants #not writing

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misosovp · 2 years

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Hiiiiiii miss miso soup💗 sorry i took so long ( ˃̣̣̣̣̣̣o˂̣̣̣̣̣̣ ) ive been kinda down but im better now probably💗♡٩(❛ัᴗ❛ั ๑)

♡o｡+..:*♡o｡+..:*♡o｡+..:*♡o｡+..:*♡o｡+..:*

Yeah i have 3 doggies and 1 kitty💕 i loved momos pup he literally sounds insane ♡♡♡♡♡ my doggie is crazy too♡

・*:..｡o○☼*ﾟ・*:..｡o○☼*ﾟ・*:..｡o○☼*ﾟ

ive seen every clip u shared and i think i should definitely get more into them ♡∇♡ i think jihyo is def the one that gets my attention the most but sana nayeon and chaeyoung also have my attention 😳🤍

The Feels seem so fun to dance! and Cry For Me..sexy(๑°ㅁ°๑)‼✧ i didnt know the song ive loved it ☆♡ actually i knew very few songs by them before (their songs usually didnt hit much) i think I Cant Stop Me was probably my fave but you're getting me into them now ~♡ i also really loved 1, 3, 2 omggggg... !!!♡♡♡♡ (・-・*)♪

・*:..｡o○☼*ﾟ・*:..｡o○☼*ﾟ・*:..｡o○☼*ﾟ

and i only mentioned Lorelei before but then i remembered Galaxy and how much i like it❤️‍🔥 actually i think i like almost every song by them even if they are not my fave style but they are so nice to listen to! ive listened to sojung's songs and yeah i like ballads to an extent but her voice is sososososo pretty exactly the kind of voice i enjoy the most!😲😳 i did like her songs tho! I'll come back with my fave later

・*:..｡o○☼*ﾟ・*:..｡o○☼*ﾟ・*:..｡o○☼*ﾟ

and yeahhh i know... new idols are generally talented but so much focus is put into insane production and technology and weird stuff... it's definitely impressive but seldom original and often tiring... im not interested in getting into them cause they are too young but everytime i listen to most songs im like ??? i do like stayc a lot tho.

and yeah dancing is very fun! but when we do ggs😭 cause as i said the bgs they choose sound all the same so i dont know where to put the moves lol.. do u like dancing? o(^^o) (o^^)o do u sing or play an instrument? i sing ~♡

ok I'll come back later mwahhhhhhhh ily

-💗

hiii lovely anon 🤍 i hope you're doing better now! we had some thunderstorms yesterday. storms stress me out tbh, but i still think they’re cool. and it’s been so long since we had rain. it helped cool things down for the day, too. how are things for you? i think like, the entire northern hemisphere is having heat waves this month. things are normal here though… it’s just always very hot and dry.

awww so cute! my sibling’s kitten is like that, too… her default noise is growling, and she really likes to play by biting, so my arms have been full of teeth marks lately. she’s very cute still…

i’m glad you like them ^-^ sana, chae, nayeon… so true. sana is so sexy and fun. tbh, i’m most excited to see what personal projects chae eventually pursues bc she’s so cool. she fits every concept and she’s actually super talented! she’s kind of in the background in twice, but on sixteen (their survival show to debut), she was shown to be really solid in every area. all of the girls held her in really high esteem, so i think she’ll absolutely kill whatever she chooses to do 💕

and nayeon!!! omg her solo debut is in just a few hours!!!!!!! i’m soo excited. nayeon is right after jihyo for me. I’m reaally looking forward to her ep and the mv. idk if you’ve seen the teasers? there’s so much going on like a million different concepts tbh. they really went all out for it. it seems like it’ll be super fun and bright, which suits her perfectly.

yeahh all their dances are so fun tbh! like they’re not necessarily the most skilled group in any specific area, but they’re always so fun to watch perform, and their discography (especially the past couple years) is super solid. the feels is soo fun fr. have you seen any of the videos of them performing 1, 3, 2? they’re not super high quality bc they’re from concerts, but the concept is so stunning! there’s this part where the backup dancers use lights and it’s so pretty ✨ and also it’s soo nice to see jeonyeong performing again bc she was out for a while due to injuries and illness.

ohh right? there’s just something about lc’s music that’s so pleasant. and yes! sojung is my favorite vocalist of all time. her voice is just soo good, and i love how her tone is p unique within kpop. definitely let me know your favs sometime 💗

mmm yeah, i agree. it’s like the production overwhelms the actual performance. plus a lot of the songs aren’t very singable? whether it’s bc the choreo is just too intense for them to realistically sing live or the song itself is a mostly talk singing. + it seems a lot of ggs don’t really give their artists music that suit their vocal ranges… idk it’s all very strange lol. and right. especially with how young so many of the idols in the groups are. i’ll listen to their music, but i don’t really get that into the groups, bc it just feels kinda weird if they’re like fifteen

stayc is actually one of my favorite groups! i’ve loved everything they’ve released so far, and i love how unique their voices are from each other. their concept rn is “teen fresh,” so it’ll be cool to see how they grow from that as they continue 🌟

i’ve actually never tried dancing. just like.. in my room lol. it’s fun, though. ohh you sing? that’s so cool fr. i can play really basic piano, and i used to play cello 🎻 i want to take lessons again sometime, or maybe switch to viola, bc cellos are just so big =_= i love classical music, but musicians are so pretentious lol. playing in an orchestra or groups is so magical, but i’ve learned that i really prefer keeping things like this to myself ^^ i want to learn to play guitar or bass, too. once i’m finished with school, ig!

okayy keep me updated on how you’re doing and lmk any other music you like! ily 🤍🤍🤍

#msg

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emotionaldepravity · 4 years

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How the saiyans would react to you asking them if you want to be friends with benefits hcs.... (NSFWish Warning)

Goku

- "Doesn’t being friends with someone already have benefits?”

-After several explanations: “Oh! Yeah! Sure! It really would make it easier to be around you when you start smelling good if we can do that!”

Vegeta

-"Hmph. I’m surprised you got the confidence up to ask. You’ve made it pretty miserable for me trying to keep my hands off of you.”

Gohan

- “Its a bit late for that don’t you think? This is what the third time we’ve been together? But as long as you’d be open to more some day, I’m okay with this. ”

Future! Trunks

- “I can’t say yes to that. If you really want to be with me then I’d rather we try dating first.”

Main timeline! Trunks

- “As long as you call me daddy when we are together, I’m down~”

Goten

- “I never thought it would be you asking me. Since its you, of course I’m interested!”

Turles

- “Took you long enough. Now, hold on tight to me and let’s go find a place where we can finally be alone.”

Raditz

- “I’m not going to say no since you got the courage to ask, but when exactly did we become friends?”

Nappa

- “If that’s what you really want, I’d like that. Just don’t be surprised if you can’t live without me after just one time.”

Bardock

- “One night and that’s it. If you don’t want to be my mate then that’s all the time I have for you.”

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appreciate-mike-hanlon · 6 years

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synesthete mike drabble

mike lives in a world of so much colour, so much colour that it makes everything beautiful. his dad is a vibrant blood red, humming with love and determination and strength, and his mama is a soft orange that counterbalances his dad with a tender love of her own. he grows up with them, and he thinks that the reds and oranges of their love for him are the most beautiful colours in the world. but sometimes, he can't help but wonder if he could find somethin even more beautiful, even more vibrant.

when he listens to music, he sees other colours, hues and shapes and feelings in his body that swing to the music and shiver and shake and dance better than he ever could. when he joins the public school marching band, he finally learns how to make the colours of his own accord, and for a while, the curved yellow-red-never-orange of his trombone is the best thing he's ever heard. when he marches and plays, it makes him feel alive.

he learns pain at an early age, learns the staticky blue-white of pavement scraping his elbows and rocks bruising his arms as he falls, learns the sticky pink-mustard squeeze of loss and regret. the day that bowers and his gang throw fireworks at him, his chest clenches in some abhorrent mixture of sticky-static as he runs. when a rock hits his flesh, he yelps as the white flashes in his back, slowly fizzling into navy.

when he looks up and sees the row of children staring at him, he feels fear, light pink spikes digging into his throat as he asks for help. the spikes dissolve as soon as he sees them start picking up rocks, ready to fight bowers. the feeling of red that swells in his chest and gut is indescrible as he begins to gather his own and stands with them all.

when bowers is driven away, and they stand there with rocks still clenched in their fists, the red finally mellows into a gentle blue-yellow-red that he can only describe as belonging. the sound of their hollers of celebration melds into a cacophony of blue-red-purple, joyous and bright. the swoop in his chest when they finally turn to him and smile is stronger than anything he ever felt marching. as they stand there, blue-white fading into memory, he suddenly thinks that maybe these colours are what he was looking for. maybe the blue-yellow-red of belonging is better than the orange-red of familial comfort. maybe the blue-red-purple of these new friends joy is what his life was missing.

#yeah idk i wrote this in five minutes at 12:30 okay its the first thing ive written in ages chill #mike hanlon #synesthete mike hanlon #syn tag #it #it book #it 2017 #it stephen king #the losers club #yEA im projecting synesthesia bite me #my writing #mine

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graymoon2-archive · 2 years

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for the event!! :O prompt 20 with cc!wilbuR (or you could do high school au....just cause..)

can you tell im a simp /hj

also congratss :DD

OUUUU OUUU CRES THIS THIS GOOD

⤜ coffee and confessions

masterlist

event masterlist

⤜ prompt 20 with highschool!au wilbur

prompt- “What would you say if I told you I’m in love with you?”

ship- highschool!au wilbur soot x gn!reader

word count- 0.6k

category- fluff

pronouns- none used

warnings- swearing

a/n- ah yes im the self aware narrator and i realllyyy projected here so

⤜

wilbur was your best friend. you had never met someone as kind or supportive as he was. he always reminded you that you were worth it. that he was proud of you.

wilbur was your favorite person. he was always the first person you came to when you needed to talk. he knew more about you than anyone else. he was the only person you let see you cry. you trusted him with everything.

which is why you didn’t tell him.

you didn’t know how you felt about him. you saw him in class every day, and it always confused you. you caught yourself starting too often. he was constantly in your thoughts. “i should show wilbur this” ran through your head on the daily. your friends all thought you liked each other. it confused you. what did they see that you didn’t? in all of your attempts to see what your friends saw, you realized that maybe you did like him.

however, you chose to forget about it. you valued his friendship more than anything.

then something unexpected happened.

the bell rang.

no, not that

as you were walking out, he grabbed your arm. not grabbed exactly. just… idk it was gentle tho

back to your story

you turned around, thinking you had forgotten something. you had in the past. instead, wilbur started talking to you.

“could you meet me at the cafe after school?” he asked. you nodded, and waved goodbye to him and your friends.

all you could focus on was meeting with him. was it a date? was it battle strategy? you didn’t know. and you didn’t care.

so after school, you walked to the local cafe. when you got there, the first thing you saw was your best friend sitting at a table with two cups of coffee. you set your phone down, and he pushed one of the coffees to you

“it’s your favorite” he said, grinning that stupidly cute grin of his.

(your thoughts, not mine)

it was indeed your favorite. you were impressed and slightly flushed at how he remembered something like that. you sat down, taking a sip.

“i want to talk to you about something” he said, biting his lip a bit like he was nervous. he should be, he’s on a date with you. his hot best friend.

i’m getting off track again.

“you can tell me anything” you reply, smiling to try and calm his nerves. well, mostly anything. there were some things you did not want to know about.

“what would you say if I told you I’m in love with you?”

you paused for a second. one because holy shit your best friend is in love with you, and two because holy fuck your friends were right.

“i’d probably say i was in love with you too” you reply, sipping your drink in what you hoped was nonchalance. it wasn’t really, but wibur didn’t notice. he was too busy internally combusting.

“wait, really?” he asked, attempting to comprehend what you had just said.

“yeah, really” you said.

“doyouwannagooutwithme?” he rushed, shifting around nervously

“slow down” you laugh, putting a hand over his to try and calm him down.

did you really think that would help?

his cheeks turned bright red at the sudden contact.

“do you- wanna go out with me?” he asked again.

“yeah!” you replied, flipping his hand over and lacing your fingers together.

“fuck yeah” he said, pumping his free fist in the air. you grinned at him, happier than ever

BEST FRIENDS TO LOVERS MY BELOVED

tags- @allywritesforfun @cr3scentm0on @pixviepie

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