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#yeah that’s a crop top im a free woman
nerujikam · 3 months
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Coincidence? I think not.
Modern!AU | mizu x fem!reader
tags fluff, meet cute(?), drabble, mentions of other characters
words around 400
a/n is this my first fic here? anyways, a little warning this was a complete brainfart. its 3 am and i typed this on my notes app so, obv not beta proofed. related to this btw? will crosspost this to ao3 later!!
a/n crossposted on my ao3 here!
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"Oh, sorry."
You looked up to where the voice was coming from. A tall raven haired woman clad in a cropped checkered knit in a blazer, sleeves folded up to her elbow. Her hair was put in a tight bun, strands of hair falling on her face, looking down on you after barging the kitchen.
Looks... familiar.
You were in the midst of getting out a plain cake for the host's, Akemi's, birthday today. With the people coming in on the dining room and living room, Akemi had to greet them leaving the counter a mess prior from cooking a big meal. Hence you squatting down to the floor and make shift the cake box as a cake stand.
"No problem. Sorry, I was..."
"For Akemi?" she cut, pointing at the cake on the floor.
You nodded, "Yeah, it's a surprise. She doesn't know," you stood up to free some space from the mess on the counter.
She walked up towards you, "I'll help you with those,"
You mutter a small thanks, reaching down to the cake carefully before finally placing it on the counter.
"Thanks so much, um...?"
"Mizu,"
You mentioned back your name,
"Nice meeting you," you shook her hand, calloused, "I think we were in the same class?" you wondered.
"You think so, too?"
"Uh-huh, Research Method?"
"Right." Mizu nodded.
Ah, that’s where...
As you cut open the piping bag to decorate the cake, you took a glance outside the kitchen, checking who else is already here. Ringo and Taigen who came in moments ago after you, setting up the dishes they brought on the dining table. An older woman and a bunch of girls piling up with Akemi in the living room, catching up with her. All that’s left were her boyfriend (who planned this surprise cake) and a few of your friends.
Amidst that, one thing amusing catches your eyes. You scanned through one more time before looking back at Mizu to check. She was in the middle of tidying up dishes. You let out a chuckle.
"What's up?" Mizu questioned upon your amusement. You gave her a second glance before continuing squeezing down the decorative whipped cream,
"I think we're the only ones in a tartan tonight," you smiled at the tiny coincidence. Silly, you thought.
Mizu looked down on her own top. Light brown knit with a subtle checkered pattern under her blazers. She averts her stare to your brown skirt, also checkered. You stared at Mizu checking you up as her eyes trailed up, finally locked eyes with you. You were lost under her blue irises for a moment, forgetting the whipped cream in your hands. You felt your heart stammering before quickly letting out an awkward giggle, going back to work on your cake.
The same blue eyes lingered on you for a little more while.
***
iM so crazy for her. crazy? i was crazy once.
484 notes · View notes
pakchoys · 3 years
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idk bro i am just messing around
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ahh-fxck · 3 years
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Chapter 11 of Warrior’s Blues: What Would I Do Without You?
Folks, I am so excited. I finally get to present to you the next chapter of Warrior’s Blues! This chapter (and the following two) have been a labor of love. @stressedspidergirlsfandomblog​, editor and co-creator of this fic, thank you for all your hard work and insight!! Ok folks, here it is:
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Chapter 11: What Would I Do Without You?
Yennefer's visit throws Jaskier for a hard loop. His best friend helps him sort it out. Best Friend Rating of the Geralt Incident? 10/10 top notch Jaskier fuckery. She loves her disaster queer.
CW for drinking, smoking, implied death of an original character, grieving
Please let me know if you’d like to be tagged (or untagged!) for future updates of this story!
@astouract​ @smolpoe​ @yes-im-the-violin-girl​ @ladyknight-keladry​
  On the day of Yennefer’s visit, Jaskier arrives at work on a bicycle. He’s late and on a bicycle for the same reason, which is to say, he is drunk and cannot drive his car. He is drunk because he’d been so full of mixed emotions after Yennefer left that he’d sat down to eat the rest of the fruit and whipped cream. Somewhere in there, it had seemed like a brilliant idea to pour half a bottle of bourbon after it. 
It was not. Luckily for him, the person working the bar tonight is Julia.
She is a stocky woman in her mid-forties. She has tawny skin and skeptical hazel eyes, and there’s a kind twist to her lips that she often hides. She has a tuft of cropped blue hair and wears a denim vest with a white t-shirt. Even though she is exasperated when he staggers through the door, she feeds him a sandwich and coffee while she fills him in on the meeting he missed. From there, she lets the crew in for the night. 
Jaskier feels like the whole world is an itchy sweater, even after the sandwich and coffee. It’s like his brain is on fire, and he can’t quite settle into the usual friendly chatter that his job requires. He passes an irritable and lonely night out by the door. By the time it’s time to clock out most of the staff is eager to clear out from underfoot; Jaskier is a great boss, but when his nearly infinite good humor runs out he can be a real asshole.
The only one who doesn’t give a fuck is Julia. She knew from the second she saw him wheeling in the door that it was going to be a late night, so she lets the rest of the staff out before pouring herself a big glass of gin. Then she settles her elbows against the bar, watching Jaskier mop the dancefloor. He is flailing wildly with the mop, clearing the floor with brutal inefficiency. Internally she begins to count down the time until he knocks the bucket over. Sure enough, a moment later he does just that. She nods in satisfaction, pleased that her timing is still on point.
Jaskier throws his head back and lets out a shout of pure frustration as his poorly-contained feelings boil over at last. Julia smirks and grabs a bunch of towels, then ambles over to him and starts tossing them on the floor to soak up the mess. 
As she does so she says nothing, but the look she gives him makes him feel transparent. Jaskier avoids her eyes as he tosses some towels down onto the puddle. 
Julia gives a little harrumph, unimpressed, bending to help him clear the towels away. They right the bucket and clean the floor in silence. When they’re done, she turns to him and gives him a long look. 
“So… What’s eating you?”
Jaskier grumbles and straightens. “Nothing.” He hauls the bucket away, fills it with water, and returns. Without making eye contact he begins to mop again.
Julia hums, crossing her arms. “Yeah, and nothing made you stink like bourbon, too. Cough it up.” She leans against a nearby wall, giving him a skeptical look. He looks at her from under the fringe of hair that has fallen over his face. Something about the wide-eyed, guilty glances that he keeps shooting her makes him look sixteen again. She smirks. “I think you wanna tell me but you’re embarrassed, so how about I start making guesses?”
Going pale, Jaskier groans. “Why are you so hell-bent on pushing my buttons?” The last thing he wants is Julia making guesses about what is bothering him. She has a terrible habit of being accurate and she has a memory like an elephant.
“Because you’re not a dumbass kid anymore and you haven’t shown up drunk in years. You missed an important meeting! What the fuck, Jaskier? Don’t make me call you Julian, I swear to fucking god I’ll break out your birth name.”
“Julia…!” Jaskier protested. “I d-”
“Julian Alfred P-”
“Fine! Stop! Oh my god, you are merciless!” Jaskier cries, but secretly he’s glad that she cares enough to needle him. He stops and holds the mop for a moment, blowing his hair out of his eyes as he gathers his thoughts. Then he starts pushing it across the floor again. “I’m sure you heard about the man who rescued Pride this year.”
“Heh, I feel like I’ve met him. Yarpen won’t shut up. Heard from him recently?” She narrows her eyes at him, sure that she’s about to hear some sort of horny idiot story. 
Jaskier blushes hotly, confirming Julia’s suspicions. “Well, funny thing about that.”
“What did you do now?” Julia asks, smirking. She retreats to the bar and picks up her tumbler of gin, then lights a cigarette. 
“We-e-elll…” Jaskier prevaricates.
Julia gives him a long look, and he folds. 
“Um, so I might have brought him back to my house after Pride.”
Julia barks a short laugh. “Color me not surprised. What’s the problem? Is he why you were wearing that birdy when you came in?”. 
Jaskier’s flush deepens. “I meant to take that off before his wife showed up. After that my day got all sort of… muddled.”
“You mean you got chewed out and then got drunk, right?”
“No! You know what, Julia? She yelled at me when I met her in the hospital, but when she came to my house she was…” He pauses, seeing the bewildered look on Julia’s face. “All right, let me back up and explain. He broke his hand, and I had to take him to the hospital. Two weeks later we go for his followup appointment and his wife is there waiting for him. Tracked him down all the way from fucking England! Got the third degree from her there, but the wildest part is, she showed up at my house the next day to talk. About me dating him.”
Julia laughs again, harder and longer. “What the fuck, Jaskier?”
Despite himself, Jaskier breaks into a rueful grin.“Right? Seriously though Julia. If I talk to you about this it stays strictly between you and me, got it? All of it. He’s in the closet and no one else here needs to know any of this.”
“You got it. No gossip. Your secrets are my secrets.” Julia smiles crookedly, sipping at the last of her gin. She’s been keeping Jaskier’s shit to herself since he was a teen. At first, it was out of a desire to not get involved, but by now she genuinely likes the dingbat. He’s dumb but sweet, and he’s been good to her. “So what’s the deal, kiddo?”
“So what it all boiled down to is that she’s not mad at me for sleeping with him… she’s mad I slept with him so fast. Turns out she’s okay with me seeing him again.”
Julia puts her glass down on the bartop, eyes twinkling with amusement. “Okay, that is a new one on me, I gotta admit. What’s the story there? She into watching or something?”
A surprised laugh escapes Jaskier. “No, thank fucking god, I don’t think I’d survive. This woman… oh Julia, you should have seen her. She’s like, five foot four inches of lightning in a bottle. A total force of nature. I think she could snap me like a twig.” A wry twinkle comes into his eye as Julia’s eyebrow goes up.
Smirking, Julia taps some ash off of her cigarette. “Sounds like a hell of a woman.”
Jaskier snorts, cutting her an amused look. “She is, but I don’t think you’d get very far with her. She’s asexual.”
“Oh? The plot thickens.” Julia grins wolfishly, leaning her chin on her hand. Jaskier had a way of getting up to his neck in crazy situations, and it had become something of a spectator sport for her over the years. 
Flushing with embarrassment, a crooked grin flickers across Jaskier’s face. “Yeah, well.” He turns his glass in a full circle. “So it turns out, they uh… have a kid together. And I want you to understand how terrifying this woman was because there was no way in hell I was going to ask for more details. But. What she told me was this. They got married because of their daughter, but Geralt… her husband, the man I was sleeping with… He’s gay.”
“Oh man, you really have a way of finding them, don't you?" This is top-notch Jaskier fuckery, it really is. She’s glad she’d stayed to get the story out of him, even though she knew it meant that she’d be dragged into his shit sooner rather than later. 
“I really do,” Jaskier agrees with a little groan. 
“What’s her name?” 
“Yennefer.”
“Hm. Nice names. Yennefer and Geralt. So she got mad at you for sleeping with Geralt so fast, and then what?” 
“And then, Julia! She told me that she’d always hoped that he’d find someone special. She looked me dead in the eye and said, ‘maybe someone like you’ and I just lost my mind. Just- Pow!” He makes an exploding gesture out from his head with his hands, then shakes his head and returns to mopping. 
“Wow. That was not the reaction I was expecting.”
“Yeah. Yeah! No kidding! Apparently, he’s always been free to choose his lovers. He’s never wanted to bring one home before, though.”
Julia lets out a low whistle, her eyebrows going up. “So he likes you, likes you. And his wife is… okay with this?”
“I don’t think she likes me very much, Julia, but she gave me the phone number to their hotel room. Says I should have a real talk with him before I think about dating him.” He stalks past her into the kitchen to dump out the dirty mop water.
“Just like that?” Julia laughs, leaning in the doorway.
“Threatened to bury my dead body if I didn’t treat him right, in those exact words,” Jaskier says over his shoulder.
Julia leans against the doorframe, shaking with mirth. “Oh my fucking god, Jaskier.”
“I know!” Jaskier cries, flinging his hands up. “This is absurd, Julia! And you know what’s even more ridiculous? I really think I could fall for him, I really do. He’s just so…” He sighs, tossing the mop and bucket in their corner and washing his hands.
“Yeah, Yarpen wouldn’t shut up about him. Six feet plus, white hair, amber eyes, stacked? Sounds very striking.” Julia drawls, eyebrows arching. 
“No, Julia- Well, I mean, yes, but…” He walks back out to the bar, flopping onto one of the tall stools.
“But what?” She smirks, returning to the bar and tapping out her ash.
“Well, I was gonna say beautiful, but I didn’t mean it like that.” Jaskier puffs, drumming his hands on the bar top, trying to find a way to put it. “Like… ohh, I sound like a fool, but he feels like a warm hearth. I just wanna curl up next to him with a book and a cup of tea and fall asleep because I feel so good around him. Safe. And don’t you go telling me he’s a stranger-” Jaskier breaks off as Julia rolls her eyes and opens her mouth to speak. “I know that! I know, and that’s what makes it so weird, Julia. But like, good weird.”
Julia hums thoughtfully, tipping her head to the side. Jaskier has been getting more self-aware as he ages, and for once, she’s inclined to believe that he remembers this guy’s a stranger. “Have you called your therapist yet?”
“For once in my life, yes. I called her before I came in. Hopefully, she’ll have gotten back to me by the time I get home.”
“Good for you. So this is why you came in here drunk off your ass this morning? This whole mess?” She pours him a shot glass of rum and passes it to him.
He takes it with a nod of thanks. “Yeah… I guess I got a little freaked out after his wife grilled me this morning, didn’t cope with it well.” Taking a sip, he frowns. “Julia, I’m in over my head. I don’t really know what to do here. He’s never had a boyfriend before.” 
Letting out a low whistle between her teeth, Julia stubs out her cigarette. “Ain’t he about my age?” 
“Yeah… He’s… I guess he spent his whole adult life in the military and never let himself have one. That’s what his wife said.” Jaskier worries at his lip, blue eyes wide as he shoots a glance at Julia. His glass scrapes on the bar top. 
Annoyed by the sound, Julia tosses him a coaster. Then she hums thoughtfully, swirling the dregs of gin in her glass. “That’s a long time to be lonely.”
Puffing out a long, slow breath, Jaskier nods. He draws the coaster over and sticks it under his drink with a guilty look. “Yeah.” Slumping to the bar top, he puts his chin on his hands. “She said… if I cheated on him it would crush him. She said… ‘Please don’t make things worse by being irresponsible with his very fragile heart.’” Putting his face into his arms, Jaskier gives a little groan. 
Julia sucks in a breath, watching Jaskier crumple in front of her. He’d at least grasped the concept of fidelity by now, but until recently his romances had never been particularly stable. Her heart goes out to him. She finds herself walking around to the other side of the bar to stand awkwardly by his side, her stocky frame only coming up to his shoulder where he sits on the stool. She awkwardly pats said shoulder, then gives it a squeeze. “That’s gotta feel pretty big to you. How are you doin’ with it?”
“I’m feeling massively intimidated, Julia. He’s gorgeous and I really want to date him, but I’m really afraid I’m going to be bad for him. I don’t exactly have the most amazing track record.”
Julia hums, sucking her teeth thoughtfully. She rubs a gentle circle between Jaskier’s shoulderblades, an unusually affectionate gesture for her. “Kiddo, you know I wouldn’t say this normally, but you’ve put a damn ton of work into your personal relationships. I trust the man you’ve grown into, and I think you should try trusting yourself for once. See how it works out for you. It’s been a long time since you let anyone in.”
Jaskier sighs, leaning into the touch. “I know. I worked so hard, and Rue didn’t even get to see much of my life after the dust settled. I hope she’s proud of me.”
A smile lights Julia’s face, but as she speaks a note of grief creeps into her voice. Her partner Rue had passed two years ago, but the pain was still fresh and hot. Rue had been more than a friend to Jaskier, she’d been his absolute favorite person. He missed her almost as dearly as Julia herself did. 
“She’d be proud of you all ‘round, kiddo. You’ve really shaped up. Hell, you stepped up when I needed you.” She gives Jaskier a little shake. “You might be a dumbass, but it matters that you try to get things right. It matters more that you do your best now to fix it when you don’t. That’s all anyone can do.” Julia’s hand moves back to his shoulder, giving it a firm squeeze. “You’re a good man, and I think she’d tell you that, too.”
Jaskier nods, swallowing hard. As Julia’s hand closes on him he realizes all of a sudden how much he misses Rue. His heart contracts with terrible grief. “Oh!” He gasps, surprised by the abruptness of the pain. Reaching back to squeeze Julia’s hand, he can feel his throat tightening. “I feel really lost right now. She’d know what to do.”
A crack appears in Julia’s heart. She nods and steps closer to Jaskier, reaching around his hip and pulling him close. Jaskier leans into her and she grips him tightly with her strong arm. Her cheek presses against him and she squeezes her eyes shut, nodding. “Me too. I miss her like hell.” As she grips Jaskier, silent tears dampen his cheeks. Before long, Julia’s eyes begin to well over too.
Rue had been the center of both of their lives. Julia had been in love with her since they met one hot summer on Coney Island as teenagers. They had kissed in the rain under one of the piers, and that had been it for her. By the time they’d moved in together as adults, Julia would have gone down on one knee and married her in a heartbeat. 
Every summer they took a long vacation on Fire Island, where Julia would pick up part time work as a bartender. They’d met Jaskier one summer there when he was just sixteen years old. He’d been a disaster of a baby queer, but gregarious little Rue had seen something of herself in him. She had taken him under her wing, and he had thrived.
When Rue was diagnosed with ovarian cancer four years ago, it had been at a quiet time in Julia’s life. Jaskier had gotten a therapist a year before and was finally out of her hair. The bar was thriving. Rue and Julia had settled into their home just the way they’d liked it, tea settees and all. Julia remembers looking at this yellow, gold, and cream-colored doily on their tea table after they got home from Rue’s diagnosis. The little sunburst pattern had seared into her mind as she sat in shock. 
The following two years had been hell on a plate. The bar came closer to folding than it ever had as both Julia and Jaskier bent themselves completely out of shape trying to get Rue the care she needed. In the end, that had meant hospice and a funeral. Jaskier had ended up having to plan it for her, and he’d stepped up to the role with a seriousness that she hadn’t thought him physically capable of. It changed something about his personality. Julia watched him go almost overnight from a happy-go-lucky kid to a closed-off and responsible adult. The only exception had happened shortly after Rue’s death. 
When the fuss from the funeral had died down, Jaskier had disappeared for the better part of two weeks. Scheduled everyone in, made sure payroll was cued to go properly, and just… vanished. He’d come back with a bloody lip and fear in his eyes, and Julia had been too heartsick to ask questions. That night they’d grieved Rue together, sitting next to one another and crying their eyes out. Jaskier had fallen asleep on their dinky little couch, and she’d tucked one of Rue’s crocheted blankets over him before she went to bed. 
Since then Jaskier had been eerily quiet. At least, until Pride. After that his mood had been so pleasant that it was making Julia downright nervous. She’d been waiting for the other shoe to drop. Now, at last, it had. 
Jaskier takes a few napkins out from under the bar top, passing them to Julia. They wipe their faces in sticky silence, and afterward, Julia pulls out a smoke and hands him one too. The click of her lighter is loud in the silent bar, echoing off the far walls. 
“Can you imagine what she’d say about this mess?” he asks, a soft huff of laughter escaping him as he shakes his head. His wide blue eyes turn up to take in the fairy lights over the bar, the smoke twisting among them.
“Oh! I can just imagine.” Julia chuckles damply, shaking her head. “She always said you found love in the strangest places.” 
Jaskier smiles crookedly. “She’s not wrong.” Smoke drifts from the cigarette between his long fingers, swirling eddies forming as it rises. 
Julia nods, then blows a slow, lazy smoke ring. “She’d say… don’t listen to your heart anymore. Don’t listen to your head. You’ve heard enough from them for now. Go find someplace quiet, where the silence can slip in through the cracks of you and fill you up. Sometimes the answer slips in alongside the silence." 
The damp groan of chagrin that escapes Jaskier makes Julia smile. "That's right,” he replies, a little smile tugging at the corner of his mouth. “And I would say, I hate silence, it makes me nervous."
Julia nods, amused. "And she would say-" Jaskier's voice joined Julia's and they finished together, "There's your problem right there." 
With a damp chuckle, Jaskier shakes his hair out of his eyes and blinks away the last of his tears. “Oh lord, Julia. I’m glad you’re still here. I don’t know what I’d do without you.”
“Suffer.” Julia jokes, knocking back her gin. “Suffer and die, probably.”
“Crash and burn, at the very least.” Jaskier snorts. He knocks back his glass of rum, then rises at last from the bar. He stubs out his cigarette as he rises. Then, with a soft clinking, he gathers all the glasses and takes them back to the sink to wash. A hush falls over the room, broken only by the splash of water against the metal sink.
Julia turns to watch him, leaning her elbows against the counter. Her head tips to the side as she watches Jaskier dry the dishes, then start scrubbing at the already-clean sink. He takes sanitizer and sprays it on a towel, then starts trying to evict the microscopic grit left around the base of the faucet. After a while, she stirs. “You think this guy might be it?” she asks, her eyes soft as she tips her head to look at her friend.
Jaskier looks down at the wet towel dripping in his hands. “I don’t know. I just… he’s different. I feel really different around him. I think I want to try, but I’m trying to just...” He grimaces, tossing the towel into the bin with a little too much force. “Take a minute to look before I leap.”  
Julia breaks into a wry smile, hazel eyes sparkling with gentle humor. “Good for you. Does that mean I’m gonna be staying late a few more nights?” 
“Could you? I could use the company.” Jaskier looks at her out of the corner of his eye, moving on to wipe the counter. 
Julia scoffs, but there’s a playful note in her voice. “Fine, but you gotta cough up those kreteks you've been teasing me with. You owe me.”
“Oh! I actually have those back at my house, thank you for reminding me!" Jaskier exclaims, smacking his forehead. "I can't believe I forgot. I’ll bring them in tomorrow, I got you a whole case. They came in from Indonesia last week and I just spaced out about them what with everything else going on.”
Eyes lighting up, Julia socks Jaskier affectionately on the shoulder. “Hey! My man! That’s what I’m talking about.” 
Jaskier laughs, rubbing his shoulder. “Anytime. It's the least I can do.”
Julia takes one last drag off of her cigarette, then turns to stub it out. “Listen. You want a ride home? It’s late.”
Jaskier wavers, then turns to look at the storeroom where his bike is. It’s a long ride home in the cold and dark, and he’s heartsick as all hell. It’s hard to turn her down. “Got room in your trunk for my bike?”
“Yep. No sweat. I’ll pull the car around front while you shut down.” Julia pats her pockets, making sure that her wallet, keys, and cigarettes are all in place. 
By the time she’s parked in front, Jaskier is locking the door of the bar. They wordlessly wrestle the bike into the back of the car together, working with the ease of practice. In the car, Julia flips on the stereo and pops in a Patti Smith cassette. Patti’s smoky, dry voice floats through the car, twining through the bouncing and jangling guitar riffs of the opening song of the album. Oh, she looks so fine… I’m gonna uh-uh, make her mine… 
They drive home in comfortable silence. Julia pulls up behind Jaskier’s car and parks. She eyes the white truck in the driveway silently, finishing her smoke as she considers it. Jaskier sits beside her, making no move to get out of the car. Finally, she stubs out her smoke and says, “Is that his?”
Jaskier nods. “Engine keeps overheating. He knows what’s wrong with it but I don’t have the tools for him to fix it, so it’s gonna stay there until I can get them for him. Honestly I don’t have the faintest idea what he wants, it all goes in my ear and then out the other. If he’d just let me take him to the store it would be fine but no-”
Putting her hand on the door, Julia eyes Jaskier kindly. “Kiddo, I don’t need every single detail. It’s his truck, I get it. Let’s go in.”
Jaskier puffs as he’s thrown off track. Then he smiles crookedly, face catching in a bar of orange light from the streetlamp outside. “Sorry. You go on in, I’ve got to bring the bike around back.”
Flourishing her keys, Julia nods. She ambles around the front of Jaskier’s house and unlocks his door, letting herself into the dark entryway. Flicking on the lights, she looks around. The place is uncannily clean and stinks of floor wax and furniture oil. Jaskier’s home usually looks a bit rumpled, like a bed that’s been slept in and then had the covers thrown back into place without being smoothed or tucked. Not dirty, precisely, but not clean. Lived in. This, though… she gives a low whistle under her teeth. Her friend had been understating the distress he’d been experiencing. His home didn’t get this tidy unless something really got under his skin.
She kicks her boots off and heads to the kitchen to get a pot of coffee going, then snags a pudding out of the fridge. As she’s digging around for a spoon, she hears the jingle of keys announcing Jaskier’s arrival through the back door. 
He notes the pudding cup in her hand and the very corner of his mouth turns up, but he doesn’t comment. Instead, he slips past her to drop his bag in his bedroom. When he returns to the kitchen he smiles at her, leaning against the fridge.
“Better?” she asks, tearing open the plastic lid.
“Better,” Jaskier agrees, eyes dancing with a teasing light. “Still like the taste of stolen pudding?”
“Tastes better if you swipe it,” Julia grins unrepentantly. She settles on the stool with her pudding. “Gonna cough up those kreteks?”
Jaskier grins. “You’ve got it. Just a minute, darling. I have to figure out where I put them.” He turns on his foot and bounds off to the other end of his house, rummaging around until he remembers where he stuck the package. It turns out it’s still next to the front door in plain view, hidden on a shelf by the other oddities it’s been stuck on top of. Jaskier’s house is unusually clean, but it isn’t that clean. Making a triumphant noise, he grabs it and heads back towards Julia. 
Pleased, Julia opens the case up in a few quick movements and takes out a carton. She flicks it open, smelling it with great satisfaction. The rich smell of clove and tobacco wafts up to her, and she sighs in contentment. “Ah, that’s the good shit. Thanks, man.”
“You’ve got it. I’ll order more tomorrow, you deserve them. Takes them a while to import but we should be seeing them in the next month or so.” 
Julia laughs. “Man, I’m earning them signing up to listen to your shit like this. Go check your message machine, I ain’t subbing in for your therapist.”
Jaskier huffs a quiet chuckle, shaking his head. “Fine, fine, I’ve got it.” He pours himself a cup of coffee, then ambles over to the message machine and picks up the receiver. He punches in a code and waits, then jots something down on a pad of paper next to it with a brief smile flashing across his face. He turns back to Julia, wiggling the notepad at her. “Got an appointment tomorrow before I go to work. She shoehorned me into her lunch hour.”
“Huh,” Julia grunts, amused. “Better bring that poor woman lunch, she’s a saint for taking you back like that on short notice.”
Jaskier looks chagrined. He settles himself back on a stool with his back to the refrigerator. “Yeah, you're not wrong. Best kind of saint. I thought I’d bring her Thai from that place up on Market street. You know the one with the little golden treasure bag dumpling things?”
“Man, she gets treasure bags? Do I get some?” Julia teases.
“If you come hold my hand tomorrow, you get anything you want.”
“Mm, no dice. I’m doing enough hand-holding as it is. Speaking of which, you could still bring it to me at the bar...” she grins over her mug, eyes sparkling playfully.
Jaskier rolls his eyes and sighs. “Extortionist.” 
“You love me,” she snorts.
“I do,” he breaks out into a smile, leaning against the island top with his elbows. “Thanks for running me home.”
Julia shifts in her seat and sighs, leaning forward onto her elbows and giving Jaskier a frank look. “I got you, it’s no problem. It’s not every day you get blown out of the water by something like this. You gonna be ok?”
Jaskier considers his mug with a thoughtful moue, then nods. “I think I am, Julia. I’m sorry about this morning, it won’t happen again.”
Smirking, Julia shrugs. “Just do better.”
Fluffing the hair on the back of his neck, Jaskier nods. “You got it.” He takes a thoughtful sip of his coffee, then asks, “How are you doing?” His voice is gentle as he asks the question, sensitive to the ongoing nature of her pain.
Julia shifts uneasily, squinting at her mug. “I dunno. I’m making it. Don’t wanna look for a new place yet, but I know it’s gonna be time soon.” She casts a short, hard-to-read look at Jaskier. She appreciates him asking, but she’s also not sure how much she wants to talk.
“When’s the lease up?” Jaskier asks, his eyes soft. 
“Uhm…” Julia cleared her throat. “June.”
“Julia!" Jaskier gasps, exasperated. "That was over a month ago! You didn’t just sign a new one, did you? Why didn’t you talk to me first?” 
“I didn’t wanna talk about it,” Julia growls, scowling.
Jaskier rolls his eyes. “Oh, don’t get all growly with me. You’re miserable there! Rue is all over that place, darling! I can barely turn around twice in there without bumping into something that breaks my heart, I don't know how you go and live there every day."
Julia presses her lips together, tapping her carton of kreteks between her fingers. She shrugs. "I can't imagine being anywhere else. All I have left is there."
Heart breaking a little, Jaskier sighs. He regards Julia kindly. "You can't hold on like that forever." 
Scowling, Julia shrugs. That might be true, but she didn’t have to like it.
Pursing his lips thoughtfully, Jaskier looks her over for a moment. He hesitates, then says, "Why don't you just start looking? There's no harm in at least checking the paper…" he nudges her gently. "Worst that can happen is you don't fall in love with the first place you see. No harm, right?"
Julia shuffles uncomfortably, taking a big gulp of her coffee. She frowns at her cup, then looks out of the corner of her eye at Jaskier. “I can’t afford to break the lease.”
“Nonsense, you’ve got plenty of savings to cover shit like that,” Jaskier replies, still exasperated. “Besides, even if you didn’t, I’d cover you. You know that!”
“I know…” Julia grumbles, “But-”
“So what you mean is, you’re still stuck and you’re not ready to go yet.”
Julia scowls. She wants desperately to argue with him, to lash out and protect herself, but the impulse passes before the words can even form. She shrugs. “Maybe so.” 
Jaskier sighs. “Julia darling, I’m convinced there’s a place in the world for you. Somewhere that will feel good and be just for you. Who knows, maybe you’ll even meet someone soon? Stranger things have happened.”
“Stranger things can eat my ass,” Julia snaps.
Unimpressed, Jaskier shrugs. “Okay.” He pops open his pudding cup and spoons up a mouthful, sucking it off of his spoon thoughtfully. “Mm. Should you ever decide to come out of that suck-ass hedge-maze of grumpiness you’ve built for yourself I’ll be here. I love you, despite all your best efforts to turn into an unmanageable troll.” 
“Oh what, and you’re Prince Charming?” Julia scoffs. “Puh-lease, you little drama queen.” They both eye each other for a moment, wavering, then break out in quiet laughter. Jaskier reaches over and pats her hand, and Julia smiles crookedly. She drains the last of her mug, then sets it down with a final-sounding ‘thunk.’ “All right, mijo. I won’t keep you talking all night. Thanks for the kreteks, I hope you work everything out. Call me if you need me.”
“I will. Same goes for you, darling. My phone is always on for you, and my door is always open. I don’t care what time it is, if you need me you come. Ok?”
Julia eyes him uncertainly, then nods. She had taken him up on the offer before, showing up at odd hours eaten alive by grief and unable to be alone with it anymore. “Ok. See you tomorrow.” She punches his shoulder affectionately, then heads for the door.
“Good night, Julia. Safe drive, I’ll see you tomorrow.” 
~*~
Jaskier puts himself back together during the intervening days. He attends therapy, brings Julia her takeout, and things return to normal at the bar. Sunday morning he rides his bike, but this time he’s sober, more himself. At the end of the night, he pulls Julia to the side as she sighs in exasperation. 
Jaskier gives her a sheepish smile, leaning back against one of the counters. “Sorry, I’m not going to keep you long tonight.”
“Yeah? Good, my fish are starting to worry I’m seeing someone new,” Julia cracks. “What’s up?” Her eyes travel to the closet where the bike is and back to him. “Car ok?”
“What?” He looks over his shoulder in the direction she’s indicating. “Oh! No, it’s fine. I just wanted to take a long ride tonight after work, maybe catch the sunrise out south of my house.”
“Then what is it?”
“It’s Geralt. I finally decided to call him. I think I’ve got my head on straight and I still wanna do it.”
Julia sucks her teeth thoughtfully. It’s sweet to see him excited, but she worries about his heart, too. He doesn’t always guard it as carefully as he should. “You sure? From what you’re telling me, it doesn’t sound like you’re lookin’ at a walk in the park. He’s married, he’s got a family halfway across the world, he’s in the closet…”
Jaskier sighs. “I know, Julia. I was there, I remember.” 
Julia arches her eyebrow at him but doesn’t comment. 
Jaskier chews his lip. “I know it’s probably stupid, and I know we could break each other’s hearts, but…” he ruffles his hand through his hair. “I don’t meet men like that every day. Besides. I will definitely regret it if I don’t at least see him one more time.” 
Julia rolls her eyes, but a fond smile creeps across her tawny face. “I’ll give you wanting to see him again one more time, you two really should talk. Just try not to be a dumbass, ok? Go slow. You’ve gotta take care of yourself, you’re not twenty anymore.”
The look on Jaskier’s face softens thoughtfully, and he nods. “I know. I’ll try to be good.”
“Good. Where are you planning on taking him? This doesn’t sound like public conversation material.”
“Well… that’s one of the reasons I wanted to talk to you. I was thinking maybe the best place would be the bar.”
“What, don’t want to use your house?” Julia asks dryly. 
“Nnnoo, uh…” Jaskier rubs the back of his neck, turning red. 
“I get it.” Julia cuts him off with a quick gesture, smirking.  “You wanna keep it on the up and up. Don’t you have somewhere else you could meet him though?”
“Mmm… I mean, there are some parks I could take him to, but that feels weird for a private conversation, you know?” Julia nods. Jaskier continues, “He’s staying with his wife at the hotel, and I feel like it would be rude to ask him to kick her out so we can talk. Most of my friends have these teeny apartments so I can’t exactly borrow space from them. The bar seemed like the best place.”
Julia hums, then nods. “I get it. Not like I have a porch I could offer you or anything.”
“Yeah. So…?”
Shrugging, Julia stuffs her keys into her pocket. “Go for it. Just don’t fuck all over the furniture or I’m gonna fire you,” she cracks.
Jaskier laughs. “I’ll keep that in mind.” She might not be able to actually fire him, all joking aside, but Julia has a way of finding truly horrifying tasks to saddle him with. He isn’t about to try her and they both know it.  He pushes off of the counter, then digs a faxed receipt out of his back pocket and unfolds it. “Kreteks are on the way, by the bye. Here’s the tracking number.” 
Julia lights up, making grabby hands as Jaskier hands the receipt over. She scans it, then gives a satisfied smile and folds it up to stick in her wallet. “Great. All right, I’m gonna head outta here. Let me know how it goes, ok?”
“As if I’d leave you out of the loop,” Jaskier hums fondly. “I’ll see you tomorrow. Am I gonna lose a hand if I try to hug you?”
“Yep,” Julia says with a chuckle. She reaches over and slaps Jaskier’s shoulder companionably on her way out the door. “Good night, mijo.” 
“Good night, Julia. Drive safe.” Jaskier says to her retreating back, smiling. He turns away as the kitchen door swings shut and makes one last circuit of the bar. When he gets outside he closes up; there is a satisfying click as the tumblers lock into place. It has been a good night, and tomorrow is full of possibilities.
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insomnihan · 4 years
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han’s Entire Thoughts and Feelings on Dreamcatcher’s “Boca”
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HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
there are no read mores here so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
ALRIGHT SO-
THE SONG HAD THE F UCKING NERVE THE AUDACITY THE GUMPTION AND THE GALL TO BE AS BOMB AS IT IS literally the moment i heard that rain and thunder i was f cukity F CIKED the way that they just know how to work with more gentle verse parts and theN PUNCH YOU IN THE FACE WITH THE CHORUS ITSELF SPEAKING OF THE CHORUS ITS F UCKING CRAZY??????????? THAT????????? GODDAMN GUITAR????????????? OWNS MY ASS??????????? OH MY F UCKING GOD JUST THE WAY GAHYEON STARTS IT OFF TO EASE US INTO IT HMMMMMMMMMM- THE ABSOLUTE POWER IN DAMIS FIRST RAP........... SHES SICK™ FOR THAT!!!!!! ‘HOLD UP’ YEAH HOLD UP I WASNT READY DAMN IT!!!!!!!!!!!! THEN DAMIS AND GAHYEONS RAPS IN THE SECOND VERSE YOU CANT EXPECT TO BE OKAY AFTER THAT™ ARE YOU SERIOUS- just all of their voices............ the way theyre just so powerful and emotional and you can tell............. siyeon pls your high notes holy f uck-
WHAT IM SAYING Is this song was such a good follow up to scream like F UCK i literally ask after every comeback ‘will they top this’ and tHEN THEY DO
i was so boo boo the fool like i really thought since diamond and breaking out fell into the same genre that it wouldnt be intense like This im 🤡
SO I WILL BE USING THE COMEBACK SHOWCASE TO TALK ABOUT THE DANCE BC OH MY GOD- so they all said that this song was their hardest dance yet................. queens of dance I F UCJUNG SWEAR
FIRST OF ALL THE BEGINNING POSE IS EVERYTHING™
THE PART AFTER THAT WITH DAMI PULLING YOOHYEON INTO HER SINGING PART....................... i just like it a lot
HONESTLY DAMIS ENTIRE PART
YOOHYEONS PART BEFORE THE CHORUS
THE ACTUAL CHORUS
both the upside down triangle hand symbol AND then for ‘boca’ where they make their hands like a mouth................... Iconic™
GAHYEON WITH THE FLAGS?????????? HELLO????????
and then dami................................. i-
the flags............... sua and jiu and yoohyeon.......... Thinking A Lot™
this part with jius bridge lives rent free in my brain
sua sitting on the dancers shoulders and singing the most hard hitting lyrics in the song thats it thats the bullet point
just................. the WHOLE ENDING
shouldve really just put the entire damn video here but i already wrote it out
THEY NEVER PLAY AROUND WITH THE VISUALS EVER!!!!!!!!!!! THE COLORS ARE ABSOLUTELY GORGEOUS AND VIBRANT THE SETS ARE SO DREAMLIKE???????? I WISH I CAN FULLY EXPLAIN IT BUT ALL I COULD REALLY DO IS DESCRIBE THEM AS THEY ARE- THE PINK SET THEY DANCE IN IS SO COOL TO ME THE PLACE WITH THE TREES AND GRASS AND THEYRE DANCING IN THE F UCKING WATER AND WHERE GAHYEON HURTED US WITH HER RAP AND WHEN THEYRE ALL JUST STANDING AROUND LIKE BEAUTIFUL PRINCESSES AND WHERE YOOHYEON SAT AMAZINGLY- AND WHERE SIYEON STANDS WITH ALL THE BUSTS WITH TAPE OVER THEIR MOUTHS THE SYMBOLISM™!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THEN WHEREVER DAMI WAS IN GENERAL.................. [REST]
TIME TO SHOW WHICH SCENES I LIKED
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THE WHOLE F UCKING THING MOVING ON-
T H E M
okay................................ everyone who follows me KNOWS that im just so whipped for all these women if i was a Brave Bicth™ id tell them they were all beautiful every day to their faces but if this is your first time seeing this CHAOTIC AS F UCK series of posts then-
LOOKATTHEMBEINGBEAUTIFULANDETHEREALPRINCESSESINONESCENETHENBADBITCHESINTHENEXTAREYOUKIDDINGMEICANTBELIEVETHEYREALLYOUTHERELOOKINGLIKETHIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
JIU
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BELLE????????????? BELLE IS THAT YOU???????????? why does Miss JiU over here just got to be one of the most beautiful women in the GODDAMN UNIVERSE I CANT STAND THIS LOOK AT THIS PICTURE!!!!!! i wont lie to yall but it was gonna be this one or the one kinda at the beginning where shes wearing red..................... and....................... her neck- THE RED IS FIRE BY THE WAY AND THE SAME OUTFIT BUT IN LIKE R.o.S.E BLUE WITH THE CHAIN STEP ON ME- and the black one that we dont really see a lot of.................. the sheer of it............ bicth-
SUA
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yes it was absolutely necessary for me to use this shot
OFC MY BICTH ASS NEARLY FELL OFF HIS F CUKING BED WHEN SHE SHOWED UP IN THE TEASER JUST COVERED IN WATER I SWEAR I COULDNT BREATHE FOR LIKE TEN MINUTES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! first of all the red and blue ones just one sleeve and those shorts and all those belts I DUNNO JUST THIS WOMAN AND CROP TOPS OKAY IM LOSING IT IM THIS 👌 CLOSE and then the white dress i cant stand her i really cant-
SIYEON
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HOOOOOOOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHO MISS LEE SIYEON OUT FOR MY NECK I SEE- i just wanna point out first that i love her love for pants like the rest of the outfits are gonna be worn for performing and they all have those baggy pants she loves so much pls shes everything im 🥺🥺🥺 tho the braids and the high ponytail without and yknow what WITH BANGS TOO im........................ i cant stop staring at this picture-
YOOHYEON
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SHE IS NOW A LARGE AND SCARY DOG-
this specific hairstyle in the screenshot........ the braids the safety pins with the brown and pink or whatever it was like three different colors just the Serve™ she is serving in that with that outfit and the back of her skirt is long than the front im weak in the knees for you maam- oH THAT F UCKING RED ONE GRABBED MY NECK NAILS INTO MY SKIN AND ALL AND ENDED ME HONESTLY and that chain necklace.......................... keeping words to myself-
DAMI
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SHES SO HOT AND FOR WHAT my god this blue hair she is WORKING IT- i had such a difficult time even finding a good screenshot of her and i know the moment i just decided with this one that i was just gonna keep getting distracted by it and i am rn as i type this GOD- the all black outfit she shows up in the very first time in the mv..................... [REST] the blue one with the thing on her thigh with the low ponytail................. [REST x2] herself....................... [D*AD]
GAHYEON
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POPULAR OPINION: THIS IS HER ERA
THE MOMENT SHE JUST SHOWS UP RIGHT AT THE START SHE GRABBED US BY THE NECKS AND LET US KNOW SHES KILLING IT LIKE THIS this pink hair is doing her like two million favors like the space bun look right here???????? STUNNING just left long and straight??????? BEAUTIFUL the fit with the beige(?) sweater and skirt and that black outfit during her rap verse the pink dress iM D*AD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
BONUS TIME: B-SIDE TRACKS (short thoughts and parts i liked)
Intro
A SLAPPER WE LOVE TO HEAR IT-
Break the Wall
oH BICTH the way this song took me back to my edgy middle school years listening to music like this MY GOD THEIR VOICES SOUND SO COOL ON IT like they were using megaphones and s hit THE CHORUS IS SO GOOD IM GOING FERAL™ I FEEL LIKE I CAN CONQUER THE WORLD WITH THIS-
Can’t Get You Out Of My Mind
ALL ENGLISH SONG BICTH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! its all about the yearning its so catchy and good i was literally already singing it randomly right after the highlight medley like honestly this and break the wall are so nostalgic highkey- their pronunciation is so so SO good!!!!
Dear
JIUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 😭😭😭 IM SO SOFT DONT LOOK AT ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! she wrote this herself and its just so full of love and thankfulness and gratefulness and appreciation for insomnias SOMEONE PROTECT HER- and then the rest of the members singing so gently and beautifully there are real tears in my eyes...............
LIKE im just gonna say it every comeback now i guess THEY👏NEVER👏DISAPPOINT👏EVER👏 i love being an insomnia so much yknow??? love them as people love them for always providing content and always showing that they love and appreciate their fans and how they always make me laugh and feel better and most importantly of all is THEIR MUSIC not implying anything with capitalizing and bolding that............... unless they are so incredibly talented and show how versatile they are in so many different genres AND THEYVE GROWN SO MUCH IN POPULARITY THIS YEAR AND ARE NOW BEATING THEIR OWN GOALS im so happy to be their fan 😊😊😊 this just became a paragraph of me and how much i love them ANYWAY-
IN CONCLUSION: WHERE IS THE LOVE?????????? ITS BEING DIRECTED AT THIS ALBUM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
and AS TRADITION:
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askmyboys · 3 years
Text
Tyrone
Here’s a furry character I made, im honestly getting invested into those types of babs but i... kinda suck at descriptions lmao, I’ll get better wiht it sooner or later though hopefully
I’ll post Noxis later, gotta just read over his desc again tho bc i cant remember the specific trigger warnings i need to put on his desc so yeye
| Name: Tyrone
| Nicknames: Tyre/Ty
| Gender: He/Him
| Age: N/A
| Height: 7’3”
| Species/Race: Anthropomorphic Dog (Cane Corso is the breed he’s based on)
| Hair style: His hair is essentially just part of his fur- but the fur is slicked back on top of his head to match the rest of his fur really (I mean… Cane Corso fur IS pretty slicked back and not super fuzzy ya know?)
| Eye Color: Caramel Brown
| Fur Color/Body Type: Black and overall he’s pretty average looking, looks a b i t muscular tbh
| Appearance: Let’s start off with the actual appearance instead of the clothing, he got his ears cropped from a young age (where he comes from, it's a mixed thing really, in his pack specifically cropped ears were a rite of passage while to other packs cropped ears were ghastly and considered cruelty but eh to each their own) so now his ears are pointed, he also has a silver earring on the top of his right ear! His teeth are razor sharp and his paw pads are relatively natural coloring a charcoal color, on the middle paw pad of his right paw there is some kind of birthmark there it seems, it’s shaped like a simple circle BUT the birthmark’s meaning is the crucial bit here, it is essentially a high stature sorta thing, only his father has that birthmark of the entire pack, even all the sons and daughters from various litters never held that birthmark, not until Tyrone came along.
His outfit he usually wears is a black leather jacket that has spikes on the shoulder pads with a white t-shirt underneath, he’s got a black collar with a LOT of spikes surrounding it on, more so than the usual spiked collars and they are actually VERY sharp (it’s essentially to protect his neck during fights, I’ll explain that in a bit though) but also it just looks cool, it’s got a bone hanging down the front with his name written in cursive on it, he usually wears charcoal black jeans that are ripped with chains hanging down them (even though his tail is stubby he still cut a hole for it bc that’d still be uncomfy tbh), he doesn’t wear any boots though, boots tend to give him aches while walking.
He’s also got a lot of scars, his most prominent scarring is one on the nose, three over his right eye but he can still see out of it surprisingly, a few long ones near his neck and some old puncture wounds from what looks like dog teeth, and finally claw marks up and down his arms, belly, back, and legs.
Oh btw, even tho he wears a shirt without it you can see he has white patch of fur running down his chest and stomach! Just another lil detail.
| Personality: Tough, stubborn, sometimes a little too cocky for his own good, narcissistic even sometimes? He can be VERY protective and loyal however to the right people/animals, he’s always on high alert of his surroundings and the people around him despite not seeming like he is sometimes, he can be very calm and stable and he USUALLY thinks before he acts but that’s not ALWAYS the case, he can be quiet and reserved sometimes as well but it’s rare, he’s usually pretty much an extrovert although not many people nor other animals approach him, he looks and sounds intimidating as hell and while it CAN be a good thing it can also be a bad thing, deep down he’s a good guy, he’s soft, sweet, kind, and caring! He doesn’t like that most treat him as a terrifying threat or beast, he ain’t about hurting someone just for fun!
The only time he EVER attacks is in self defense OR in defense of the people he cares about, and even then that has to be when he’s ABSOLUTELY pushed to his limit, he’s more so a big referee toward things like fights n shit like that, he’ll body block the two offenders or put himself in front of those he’s trying to protect and usually all he needs to do is speak or growl and that usually sends offenders running off, and even then if they persist he’ll then try giving corrections (corrections are a HUGE thing among his pack) while he won’t actually bite them, he’s going to make a lot of horrifying sounds and act like he’s going to, and usually because to most dogs, not just his pack (yeah corrections are common amongst most dogs too i know) he’ll even go as far as to put someone/another dog especially on their side.
Sure, humans… Are very different and more complex but even then, most of them after being checked by a huge seven foot three dog like him, most will think twice before continuing to try and escalate things. Unfortunately because of his size (he’s the second biggest in his pack, the first being his father likewise) most other dogs, especially ones of his own breed try to challenge him a LOT, and he doesn’t like fighting, usually he ignores these but if they keep on bothering him, he’ll try and give them a warning, aka something like a correction essentially, he’ll tell them very clearly to back off but if they lunge for him or try to go for him at all, then he will NOT hold back, he’s not going to let himself be pushed around or killed just because some dog is butthurt about him being bigger than they are.
| Side Facts: Likewise, his scars have come from SEVERAL fights, some even from his own pack which… His father didn’t take a liking to at all and especially not his mother… His father was the alpha and despite being a male in this situation he actually stepped in quite a lot, however his father was a bit more…
Let’s just say a little more forgiving, his mother was an absolute SPITFIRE, she ruled with an iron fist and she didn’t tolerate ANY bullshit, she’d never hurt any of her pack members nor babies especially but there was no tolerance for certain things and in her pack you HAD to obey the rules whether you liked them or not.
She was MUCH more harsh than his father was with corrections, heh- Tyrone remembers as a pup oh he can’t even COUNT how many times he heard his mom growling, snarling and of course can't count how many times he’s seen her bare her teeth even, she was a no nonsense kind of woman, even toward the puppies she ruled with an iron fist, they were taught along with Tyrone from a very young age how important the rules were and how important energy and certain cues from other dogs were.
Tyrone is very embarrassed however bc the stories his mom always tells were how as a young pup, he was the aggressive little spitfire who didn’t care how big his opponent was, he’d challenge them, try to dominate, and conquer essentially- Nothing was thought through then, in his adolescent years he was always SO damn serious! No play, no nothing! He even growled at the pups trying to play with him! Some little tiny marks that are barely able to be seen came from his mom and dad but, in dog society it’s kinda natural, I mean to be fair, dogs when correcting aren’t like humans, they only have their mouths so when a dog’s correction your BOUND to see a mark here and there.
He does thank his mama for setting him straight though that’s for sure… He sounded like such a handful and even though he has the second highest stature to his father, even he was not safe from the corrections lmao, his mother is actually first in command, father is in second co-command essentially and finally Tyrone is in third- all three of them are p much high ranking, of course since his parents are still living THEY are the alphas but he IS a Beta, the other brothers and sisters being mostly betas and omegas (there are a couple of his brothers n sisters who are also alphas but they are in fourth, fifth, sixth, and seventh place- if i ever name his pack I’ll make sure to clarify who is which ranking)
Overall, Tyrone really loves his family, he’d do anything to protect them even if he wanders a lot and doesn’t stay with them the entire time, he does try and visit as often as he can, he knows eventually he’ll track wherever their roaming as well, usually packs stick together but… Given Tyrone’s status and the fact he’s got the birthmark and is high stature his parents are more so lenient with him, they do still worry bout him ofc but still, he was never the type to just sit still, while his other brothers n sisters don’t really care bout leaving the pack he’s ALWAYS been a wandering spirit, so… They’ll let him be free, they’ll still love him nonetheless in the end.
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dayasbun · 5 years
Text
Fame - Angus Cloud (2)
Summary- a luckily timed audition leads to you falling for your new and unexpected co-star.
Warnings- okay HI welcome to my first multi chapter series woah?! this is actually so exciting for me like wow especially since angus doesn't have any fics yet im just really really excited- so warnings! smut for sure, bad words, lotsa fluff, angst- everything in one basically. here comes a ride and I hope you enjoy :)
Part 1
Part 2 {reading now}
-
You didn't do happy dances often, because usually there weren't many things that made you happy enough to dance for. But when you woke up after having the most splendid dream to an email that read:
'Hello Ms. Y/F/N Y/L/N, and thank you for applying for the role as Jess. We have reviewed your audition tape and were quite pleased with what we saw. For the next step in the hiring process, we ask that you come to the same site yet again today at 3 PM for a go through with your possible costar, without the script. If that time isn't good for you, please return this email in its entirety so that we can reschedule, and if the time sounds good we can't wait to see you today. Thank you.'
...a happy dance seemed to be necessary, right?
Your excitement bubbled as you put on a light pink crop and a pair of simple blue jean shorts. The look was overall simple- too simple for you, so you decided to top it off with a few hair-clips, a coat of lip gloss on your lips, and lastly some sweet-smelling lotion on your bare arms and legs.
It seemed as though 3 came quickly, but you made sure you were there by 2:50. 'Better to be early than late', you always told yourself. You always stuck by that.
Walking into the building with your pink jelly wedges clicking against the marble floor you signed in. To your surprise, they called you in at 2:55, earlier than you were expecting.
"Y/N! Punctual and looking gorgeous as usual," said one of the co-producers, Mary, and to your surprise she greeted you with a hug. She was the woman that showed the most hospitality to you through out the time you had been auditioning, a sweet, short little woman that smelled like this mornings coffee.
"Aw thank you, you're so sweet," you smiled letting off of the hug and readjusting the crop.
"So Angus is running a bit late, it happens a lot so feel free to sit over there with the other girls and we'll just see where this takes you guys sound good?"
You wondered how he was running late when it was only 2:57, but you just agreed with a smile and walked over to sit with a small group of girls. All of them glared at you as you sat down, so you decided to weigh out the competition.
You weren't one to judge- or you tried not to be- but god these girls were bland. No hair-clips, no lip gloss- not even a smile. Almost all of them wore the same, a white button up blouse with black slacks, black ballet flats, and kept their hair tied back with a colorful scrunchie. Blonde, with perfectly painted nails and you would bet money they had pedicures to match. There was nothing wrong with them, but they seemed to not know how to have fun from the energy they were giving off, and how boring it must be to have no fun. You honestly almost couldn't help but to feel worried though, was there a dress code in the email that you missed?
More girls began to filter in as the next 10 minutes passed, at least some of them seemed to actually have a personality.
"Okay well imma call you back, I got some business to do- oh you know it you feel me!? Nah wit' the show, like auditioning with all these girls or sum. Yeah okay bet imma call you later anyway, bye."
3:13.
"Angus, you're late." Mary spoke up with a sigh, "I don't want any excuses from you, lets kick this into high gear shall we?"
"Who was giving excuses though like... I just be cancelling my alarm, nobody got time for waking up before 2:45 anyway."
That made you laugh a bit, and apparently louder than you expected, because the whole room, Angus included turned their heads to look at you. Mary shook her head and just looked at the list she held, and you lowered your eyes to look down at the carpeting. "Alright let's start. Girls exit the room, the auditions are one on one with just us, you, and Angus to avoid pressure and judgment."
You all stood up, heading towards the door to pile out.
"Y/N, stay."
Why'd you feel like you were about to get in trouble for laughing or some shit?
You turned around and walked to the center of the room by Angus, but you didn't look up at him. You could feel him watching you and considering you had no idea what he was thinking, you hated it.
"Well you two know what to do, start when you feel comfortable. Y/N has the first line."
You turned your body towards him and looked up, he was a lot taller than you...you felt like a little person.
Before you got too flustered, you let out a shaky breath and started. "But baby, come on you can do so much more, you can- we can travel the world or some corny shit like that, that's what you always wanted to do when we were kids. You don’t have to sell, and we can bring Ash with u-"
"Yeah well we ain't kids no more. Traveling takes money, I put all I got into stuff that's actually useful. I shoulda never gotten attached to you and shit again, damn you always do this."
"Fez..." your voice softened as you remembered this part of the script: 'Jess stood on her tiptoes and wrapped her arms around Fez's neck, pulling him down to her. Fez places his hands on her waist and...'
You did as the script said and he did as well. Feeling his hands on your bare waist you looked into his eyes- they were quite gorgeous- and continued on. "You say you want me but you don't act upon it. How am I supposed to be here if you don't open up to me-"
He let go of you and rolled his eyes, "Girl I got shit to do. So you can leave if you finna do allat."
"For fucks SAKE you're- God you're just frustrating! What do you have to do? Go sell? Go talk to Mouse and risk your goddamn life again because there's a drop of blood on money that you stole?! Its so hard to love you and you don't get that!"
"Its hard to love me? Me? Come on. How hard do you think it is to love a bitch with daddy issues that wants to watch Sailor Moon every night- I hate that shit! But I watch it for you- and you just complain about your dad not loving you and how he never coming back? Well maybe you should realize that shits true and move on from it all you do is-"
Your eyes begin to fill with tears and you immediately turned to walk away but were quickly pulled back into Angus- excuse me, Fez’s chest, your back against him.
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean that shit."
You elbowed him in the chest- softly- causing him to groan and let go "You know you meant it. That's it Fez, I'm done." You walked away slowly ruffling your hair-
"Scene! Holyyyyyy wow that was amazing! The passion- are you guys sure you've never acted together before?"
You turned around jokingly bowing as you wiped your tears from the corners of your eyes. Angus laughed and came over to you shaking your hand. "You're good. I like yo' energy too, I hope to see you around set or sum."
You swallowed thickly, if you got this role you could not be this nervous around him everyday.
"It's not hard when I'm acting with someone so talented." You said softly, letting go of his hand after he shook it. He smiled with a chuckle "Thank you, thank you."
There was a strange tension between you two- why? You didn't know exactly, but you knew it wasn't only on your end. You thanked everyone for their time and they said they'd keep in touch. With one last glance at Angus- who had never stopped looking at you- you gave him a gentle smile and then walked out.
You rushed to the bathroom and into a stall, letting out a breath you didn't even know you had been holding in. You thought everything over, the tension, the feeling of his hands on your waist, the look of approval Mary had on her face when you two finished. You'd surprisingly never felt more confident about a role you'd tried out for, and due to that you couldn't seem to stop smiling.
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illfoandillfie · 4 years
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This is so much fun. 🎉 And since we’re doing nsfw, I have some more top 5 for you: lingerie / sex scenes in films / fantasies to get off to 🥺🍆🥵
kdhsdhfksd okay these took some thinking but it was the fun kind of thinking so that’s okay. thank you!
Lingerie: (links go to lovehoney)
At the moment my fave is this matching set ofwet look high wasted undies and crop top I bought in a valentines sale
Red gift wrap bow (mr taylor please come andruin me)
This maroon basque I own. It's a bit tight butmy tits look great in it
Simplicity can be really lovely in lingerie soI'm a big fan of like a nice bra and a matching set of undies, maybe addinggarter/stockings as well (I've got a plain black set but the thong iscrotchless and it’s decorated with little pink bows which is very cute)
 As someone who has a big softspot for a) historyand b) the pinup/rockabilly scene I’m a big fan of corsets. There are so manydifferent styles and they come in so many fun colours and patterns. I have acheap one I bought on wish but I would absolutely love to get one properly fittedand made for me.
Sex scenes in film:
Atonement – against the bookshelf in thelibrary, ma’am im going to faint (bonus points because james mcavoy is perpetuallyon my to do list and kiera knightly’s dress is stunning, as is she)
The Bronze – not necessarily because it’s superhot but it’s Sebastian Stan playing a cocky as hell gymnast doing all sorts ofwhack flips and handstands during sex which is completely fucking ridiculousbut it’s also a win in my books (seriously…his character has a tattoo of thepart of an Olympic medal that hangs around your neck which leads down to hisdick. She literally says the words “gimme that gold” before he does a flip intoher its one of the best things ive ever seen. Also he do look reaaaallll fuckinhot in that movie)
I’s not a full on sex scene but the scene inSecretary where he spanks her as she reads the letter? Oof yes hello why isn’tthat me? Honestly tho I haven’t seen the whole film but what I have is so verygood (maggie gyllenhaal walking around with a spreader bar cuffed to her wristscarrying papers in her mouth? James spader putting a fucking riding saddle on herback while she’s on all fours on his work desk? Part of me is into it becauseim a big dumb sub and hhhhhh part of me is into it cause its maggie gyllenhaal lmao)
Okay ngl this is where I started to blank whichis dumb cause I know ive seen more sex scenes than this but anyway Deadpoolshould get a mention both because ryan Reynolds is hot but also because is justkinda real cute the way they show the progress of time by having them fuck ondifferent holidays. Also because he gets pegged for international womens dayand that’s fucking brilliant.
I can’t think of another so lets just say thisspot is reserved for whatever The Voyeurs gives us.
 Fantasies to get off to: (oh boy im really putting myself on blast rnyikes)
A freeuse type scenario like the guy I live with can just use me whenever he wants.Maybe im doing the dishes when I get bent over and railed orrr waking up andI’m being fucked or like I'm playing a video game or reading and he takes thecontroller or book out of my hands so he can fuck my throat and then hands itback like nothing happened – sometimes with the added bonus of not being ableto cum in time and having to wait until he wants to use me again (hhhhh I justwant to be treated like a living fleshlight)
y’know those fics I wrote about being hogtiedand overstimulated? Yeah that
y’know those fics I wrote about being ahypnotised bimbo? Yeah that
okay this one is a fantasy I’ve had for a fewyears now that came about because of a porn video I watched. Basically in thevideo it was like a room full of men who’d paid to be there. The walls werelined with people sized holes and sticking out of them are women but justenough of them for the men to use. Each hole has a photo of the woman stuckover it but the men can’t see their actual faces. And basically the women laythere in different positions (some are on their backs with their legs chainedto the wall, some are kneeling on the floor, some are doing like a traditionalglory hole thing) while they’re used by a bunch of random guys they can’t see.It’s like a different take on free use I guess but oh to be one of those women.
I’m the pet to a couple. Sometimes the womanplays with me, sometimes the man, sometimes both idk I just wanna be calledkitten and be edged a lot and feel completely owned.
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floralreddie · 6 years
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I love that both Eddie and Richie are drag race fans in your tumblr AU! Also it’s so obvious that Richie is an adore delano fan Im dead. But now I kinda wanna see my boys drag themselves? Could u maybe write something about it? Maybe it’s a dare but they get way into it in the end. Featuring a very supporting bff bev who lends them all the make up.
I LOVE THIS. okay so this is separate from my trans!richie au but it’s obviously modern au, both the boys are in an established relationship! (also i am slowly working my way through my requests don’t hate me but i just had to write this one bc drag race is l i f e)
warnings: swearing, richie being a perv so some sexual themes, also there might be a few spelling mistakes bc i did this quickly amongst my uni work
forever taglist: @pearltheartist@mikoalabearwrites @arielgirly @trashmouth-smashmouth@mzcescapie@somenates27@reddiesballoons@cawcawhawkeye@richietoaster@sassy-molassy@fuckin-richie @zerealromaniangurl @notagoodplace4gods @itsway-past-mybedtime @homohayls @reddiefic @trashmouth-tozier69 @temptedtozier @bitchardtozier @virgo-green
Richie thinks it’s kind of rude that his account on Eddie’s Netflix is called Parasite 1, but he can’t really complain because Eddie pays for both his account, and Richie’s. What can Richie say? His boyfriend knows how to take care of him.
They lounge on Eddie’s single bed now, backs pressed against the headboard and the sound of Eddie’s mom making dinner loudly in the kitchen the one sign that they were not home alone. Richie knows full well that Mrs Kaspbrak makes so much noise as a way to deter the two from getting up to anything ‘unholy’, or whatever. Though the woman had finally accepted Eddie’s sexuality, after years of making Eddie feel like shit, she was like most definitely not okay with Eddie’s choice in partner.
Richie Tozier, though the polar opposite from Eddie Kaspbrak, was perhaps the most perfect person in the world for Eddie. And vice versa.
‘Man, I fucking love this season,’ Richie says, fiddling with Eddie’s hand in his lap and staring at the TV which showed Rupaul’s Drag Race. Eddie, next to him, glances at Richie with a soft smile, before turning back to the TV. ‘Like, Adore is the fucking bomb. Her drag is sick’.
‘Messy slut,’ Eddie quips, entwining his fingers absentmindedly with Richie’s. ‘That’s what she calls herself. Figures that you like her’.
‘Eddie!’ Richie gasps, turning to his boyfriend and pushing his glasses up his nose with his free hand. ‘Are you calling me a slut?’
Eddie, in return, rolls his eyes. ‘I think Bianca is my favourite this season,’ he hums with a nod. ‘Yeah’.
Richie scoffs. ‘That’s cheating. She’s everyone’s favourite!’
Eddie turns with a glare. ‘Fuck off’.
Richie grins, before pecking Eddie on the nose and ruffling his soft, brown hair. Eddie splutters and slaps Richie’s hand away with pink cheeks. ‘Cute, cute, cute!’ Richie laughs, throwing an arm around Eddie’s shoulders. ‘Y’know, you’d look pretty sick in some soft Courtney drag, y’know. Pretty make up. Lots of pink. Or maybe a throw back to Season Three with some Carmen Carrera, that way you can show all of your booooody!’ 
Richie grins brightly when Eddie lets our a snort, and the smaller of the two throws his curly haired boyfriend a bemused look. ‘Can you really imagine me in a bikini?’
Richie’s smile falls a mere fraction. ‘Oh, hell yeah,’ he breathes, tightening his arm around Eddie’s shoulders. Eddie scoffs, before leaning his head against Richie’s shoulder and both their attentions turn back to the TV, humming along with the music. After a few minutes, Richie says, ‘Why don’t we do it?’
‘Huh?’ Eddie hums.
Richie looks down at his boyfriend, his grin growing. ‘Drag ourselves up? Your mum’s going to work soon. Come on, it’ll be fun! We’re both pretty as hell, why not?’
Eddie stares up at Richie for a full thirty seconds, eyes narrowed as if trying to decipher if the Trashmouth was taking the piss or not. After nearly a minute of staring into Richie’s joyous, dark eyes, Eddie lets a smile break across his face. ‘Shit, shall we?’
‘Holy shit,’ Richie yelps, scrambling to grab his cracked phone. ‘I’ll text Bev to come round and help us! Oh my God, this is going to be fucking awesome!’ He presses a sloppy kiss to Eddie’s cheek, just the moment that Mrs Kaspbrak barges in without knocking to tell them that dinner was ready.
She glares as Eddie blushes and scrambles off of the bed with Richie, who merely smiles brightly as Mrs K as he passes her in the doorway and says, ‘Thanks, Mrs K! Smells great!’
-
Sonia goes to work soon after, and Ben arrives ten minutes after that. With the boys stomachs full of pasta, Eddie answers the door with a happy grin and takes in the two duffel bags that Bev is carrying.
‘You two,’ she grins, blue eyes bright and red hair a mess from the evening wind. ‘Have made my fucking day’.
It takes only a few minutes for Bev to herd the two into Eddie’s bedroom, before plonking the bags on the floor and throwing Eddie into his desk chair first. ‘You first,’ she says, tugging at her crop top as she considers his nervous face for a moment. ‘You’ll need less make up than Richie’.
Richie, who has sprawled his long limbs on Eddie’s bed, glares through his thick glasses. ‘What the fuck is that supposed to mean, Marsh?’
‘It means you’re ugly, dickweed’.
‘Oh my God, I am beautiful-’
‘I’m fucking joking,’ Bev laughs. ‘I got the perfect look for you, Tozier. Courtney Love meets Joan Jett’.
Richie stares at her as she reaches into her bag and pulls out a smaller, see-through bag filled with make up. ‘I knew there was a reason you’re my best friend,’ he says finally, to which Bev grins.
‘Thank you, my love,’ she says. Bev then puts the bag onto the desk, turns to Eddie, and says, ‘Right, close your eyes, Kaspbrak. I’m about to make you a fishy damn Queen’.
She orders Richie to close his eyes as he lays on the bed, and with a huff he does as told. Bev Marsh, who had discovered just how fun make up could be four years ago when she was thirteen, takes out the foundation first, then the contour kit, then the blusher. She shapes Eddie’s face as soft and pretty, highlighting his small nose and sharpening his round cheeks.
And shit, she’s fucking good at this, and she knows it.
She goes for pinks with his eyes. Soft pinks that hit his strong brows, with highlighter hitting the corner of his eyes to sharpen them. For his lips, she grabs a lipstick that her adoptive Ant had given her for her birthday. A low matte pink for Eddie’s small, soft lips.
She steps back to admire her work after carefully doing Eddie’s mascara, to which he moans it ‘gross and unsanitary’, since Bev used it on her own eyes. From his place on the bed, Richie tells him to shut the fuck up.
Eddie huffs, eyes still closed, and says that his face feels fucking weird, and he doesn’t know how Bev does this all the time.
She dusts over his eyes again, smoking out the pink and giving him some light orange under his eyes. She thins his nose and pours some of her favourite glitters over his cheekbones, before nearly fucking crying as she steps back and stares at Eddie.
‘Okay,’ she says, her voice betraying her utter glee. ‘Stand up. I’ll lead you to the bed. Richie, don’t peak!’
It takes fucking ages to swap the boys over, because they’re fucking idiots and Eddie trips over a good six times as Bev leads him to the bed. Richie, with gngly limbs, nearly topples on top of her as Bev pushes him onto the chair.
‘Right,’ she quips, hands on Richie’s shoulders as Eddie lays flat on the bed with his face oddly still. He had said something about getting make up on his sheets, and how his mom would freak the fuck out. ‘Let’s do this shit’.
She pulls out dark colours for Richie. Colours that she saved usually for when her and the other Losers went to gigs out of the Derry. She foundation over Richie’s faded acne and freckles, and goes for a darker contour than Eddie, her fingers dusty and sticky. She goes fucking insane with highlighter, having always been jealous as shit when it came to Richie’s damn cheekbones.
She tells him this, to which he merely grins, eyes closed, and says, ‘I’ve been told they could cut glass’.
She strengthens his high eyebrows, making them longer and fading out the ends. For his eyes, she goes with gold than fans out into a dark brown smokey eye, thanking fuck for the Youtube tutorials she had watched. She grabs the glitter against and pats it underneath his eyes, to which he winces and snaps at her to not poke out his fucking eyes.
‘Baby,’ she mutters.
She gives him a dark brown lip, once again admiring how full they were. Damn Richie for being so damn pretty. She softens his contour, spreads highlighter onto his nose, lines the underneath of his eyebrows with some gold glitter eyeliner, and grins. 
‘Eddie, come here,’ she says, helping him sit up and taking his hand. She leads him to the middle of the room, onto his soft blue carper, before doing the same to Richie, who complains that his eyelashes feel like they have fucking bricks weighing them down.
Admittedly, Bev had gone a little insane on the mascara with Richie’s long lashes.
She places them next to each other, both facing each other with Richie standing half a foot taller than Eddie, and then steps back and nearly starts fucking crying.
They look beautiful.
‘Open your eyes,’ she says.
Richie stares at Eddie as his eyes snap open, and his breath fucking catches in his throat. Eddie looked…beautiful. All pink and pretty, with his lined with some dark shit that made the brown seem even bigger on his pale face. The glitter on his cheekbones caught in the light of his room, and the pink on his lips was something that Richie definitely wanted to taste.
Eddie stares at Richie, quite sure that he was about to pass out. Richie was dark and sharp, his cheekbones high and shiny with some glittery shit, and his dark, wide eyes seeming even larger and darker with whatever the hell Bev had surrounded them with. His lips were coated with something dark, and his face seemed all the more eye-catching.
‘Holy shit,’ they both say at the same time. 
‘You look fucking hot,’ Eddie says at the same time Richie says, ‘You look beautiful, Ed’s’.
Richie grins. Eddie blushes beneath his make up.
‘Picture time!’ Bev pipes up, already pulling her iPhone from her pocket. ‘The others are going to die that they missed this. You’re both so fucking pretty’. She snaps a few pics, sends it on Snapchat, and they all snort when Mike’s reply comes through first.
MikeHanlon: who are your friend, Bev? care to give them my number?
‘Maybe we should try out for the show,’ Eddie scoffs, nodding to the TV that shows a paused Rupaul’s Drag Race.
‘Yeah,’ Richie hums, still staring at Eddie. ‘I’ll be Anna Conda, and you can be Tera Newashole,’ he says, almost distractedly.
Eddie sighs, pink lips puckering and dark eyes swivelling to Richie. The glitter on his cheeks catches. Richie just stares. Bev starts packing away her things, a secret smile on her face. ‘Are you going, Bev? You can watch this with us, if you want,’ Eddie nods to the TV again.
Bev smiles, throwing both bags over her shoulder. ‘I mean, I was going to get you into some of my clothes, but with the way Richie is looking at you right now, I have a feeling it’s about to get a little above PG-13 in here’.
Eddie snaps round to look at Richie, who just shrugs with a lazy grin. ‘Make good choices!’ Bev calls as she leaves.
Richie quickly tugs Eddie toward him, hands on his waist, and presses his dark mouth to Richie’s pink one. ‘Hello, beautiful,’ he hums, nose pressing against Eddie’s.
‘Hello, Rich,’ Eddie laughs.
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"okay so where is this hunt?" i asked while in the impala, dean was driving and he didnt like me coming with him, he showed it too, just looking at me once in a while with anger in his eyes
"its not far from where, relax" dean said keeping my eyes on the road, he was a little impatient because he didn't want me to come with him, 
"i  see, well at least you could talk to me dean" i said rolling my eyes, 
he just sat silently, not talking or saying a word, "im just getting quite bored"
he didn't want say anything, he was mad at me cause i shouldnt be on this hunt, 
"then do something" he said coldly 
"i see, well at least you could talk to me dean" i said rolling my eye
"do what?" i asked annoyed, i had worn his favorite t shirt that he liked to see me in, it was a crop top that showed a bit more skin than usual, and jeans that were tight on me, "im not a fucking baby, i can take care of myself" 
"Well, I'm your responsibility, If you get hurt it on me, and I can have that, so yes you should be on this hunt. Now please can we just focus on the road" he  was trying not to look at me, I always looks so good in that top, he knows it does things to him, But no, I'm mad at her I'm not gonna look at her I can't, he thought 
"whatever..." i said rolling my eyes, then i put my hand on his thigh 
"Casey stop, I need to focus" he said with a shake in his voice, not wanting me to know i have an affect on him, 
"so focus" i said smiling, and looked at the road 
his grip got tighter around the steering wheel. Not wanting me to get the best of him, 
'Why are you smiling' he asked trying to keep his eyes from wandering to me, seeing my skin show just a little bit, focus Dean focus he said to himself, 
"No reason" i said moving my hand a little bit, "i was just thinking about last night" 
he was getting tense but he couldnt show me. "What about last night?" he said trying not to get last feelings of last night get to him, 
Oh you know" i said moving my hand on his crotch now, 
know what" damn she knows how to play her cards  he thought to himself, 
"I don't have time for this, focus on the case" he tried to sound serious, but he knew i saw right through him, 
"You dont have time? Are you sure? you sure had time yesterday, I know you are angry with me, im just trying to- make it up to you" i said smiling 
"yesterday was different" he said shifting in his seat ""I am angry, you shouldn't be on this hunt Casey you can't get hurt" he said relaxing his body a little bit 
"Again, im not a baby. I can take care of myself. Daddy" i said in a sexy way 
That word, the things it does to him "Casey I'm driving" he tried not to show his smirk, 
"I know you dont wanna give in, but thinking about you, makes me wet" i said smiling to myself I just want to make it up to you- daddy" i said moving my hand away 
"Did I say you can take your hand away?" he asked, he didn't want to give in, but it felt good having me close, 
"What you want my hand on your hard cock?" i asked 
"I never said that" he stated,
 "Yeah you did, in your commanding voice" i said smiling, knowing this is working 
"Baby girl you know what I want" he said smirking, and looked at me straight in the eyes, 
"What do you want? "are we close to the case?" i asked 
I'm not gonna make it that easy on you" he wanted to give in but he was still mad, 
"Almost just a few more miles, why?" he asked curiously, 
"Just asking" i said and lowered my t shirt a little bit, "Oh so you are not going to give in? Should i remind you that you gave in yesterday" i said putting my hand on his thigh again 
he tilted his head towards me and whispered "Like I said, yesterday was different" Taking a peek at my chest, 
"How was it different?"I asked trying to get him to remember it, i remembered that i wore his favorite bra and smiled to myself 
"Yesterday I wasn't mad at you" he recognized the smile, i was turned on, 
I took the duffle bag in the back and took my shirt off, "kinda love it when you are mad" i said taking a shirt from it 
he couldn't help but stare my  body so perfect, my breasts so soft, he needed me, but he was not gonna make it easy for me, 
"And why is that?" he asked, 
"you become sexier" i said taking the shirt and wearing it, 
he couldn't help but get turned on with what i just said, 
"Oh no sweetheart, don't put that shirt on, "Sit just like that for daddy" he said with a demanding voice
"daddy does love this bra" i said not removing my t shirt just yet, 
"You love showing it for me" he said putting his hand on my thigh and pulling me closer, 
"I do, i would wear it all the time, but you cant keep your hands off of me" i said with my breath uneven, 
"and why would I want to take my hands of such a sexy woman?" he asked while staring me, as he moved his hand up my thighs and inner thigh, 
"It gets annoying when you rip my clothes" i said with my breath getting more uneven, 
he slowly moved his face towards my ear, touching my earlobe, "I need to get rid of my anger somehow babygirl"
"Love it when you are angry, but dont rip anything. Please" i said really frustrated now
"Then. Take. It. Off." he said with his alpha voice, 
"holy shit... you do realize we are close" i said taking the shirt off, 
"Hold on" he said to me, he could not focus on the road anymore, 
"what?" i asked confused,  
"just hold on, patient" he said turning the car around, he needed me, he wanted me 
"So we are not hunting anymore" i said turning to him, 
"I'll phone someone else to do the hunt" he said ""Baby girl, all I want Is you right now" 
"So you gave in" i said getting closer to him, 
he couldn't help but only smile at me, he took his hand and slowly stroked it over my body, gently, feeling all my goosebumps, he moved his lips slowly to my neck "Who said I gave in" and slowly kissed it 
"You did give in" i said closing my eyes "seems i won" 
"Maybe,"  he said smiling against my neck, 
"i did win" i said moaning a little bit 
"But who could resist you" his kisses got a little more like soft bites in my neck, 
"hmm you certianly cant" i said closing my eyes, 
his hands started moving up, towards my breast, slowly circling around the one, while his lips move down towards my pulse point, 
"I don't hear you complaining" he said, 
"why would i complain?" i asked holding my moans, 
"then hush and enjoy this" he moved his hand to my back and unclasped my bra wanting them to roam free, He started kissing my breasts slowly and leaving marks as he did it, i moaned a little bit as he continued,  
"fuck" i said and he smiled at me, knowing i wanted more, i got ontop of him and started grinding through his jeans, having him hard made me wet, then i unbuckled his belt and put him inside of me and started going up and down, his hands on my waist as i rode him, 
"keep going thats it baby" he said as he kissing my body as i continued, eventually screaming and moaning at the same time, 
"make it louder" he said as i kept going, eventually my moans were getting louder, feeling his hard cock inside of me and his lips on my body, made me so fucking wet 
"FUCKK DADDY" i moaned really loud eventually cumming three times, i got off of him and put my mouth around his cock, he held my head as i sucked him off and eventually came in my mouth, i swallowed it and licked his chest and kissed his mouth 
"thats right baby" he smirked, we then got dressed and went back to the bunker,
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Text
G O T 7 PT. 9
"You're a monster." Guerin hissed to Charlie as she did her best to blend in with the crowd.
"What?" Charlie asked, baffled.
"Look at this." She held out her hands to show Charlie the outfit that had been selected for her. A black sequence crop top with a roaring trex head and red pleather leggings announced her presence loudly despite the amount of people.
"... okay how is it different from what you usually wear?" Charlie was perplexed.
"You didn't think I'd maybe want to blend in a little more after making a scene about falling into the pool? It's also a bit over the top even for me come on." Guerin grumbled, folding her arms across herself.
"Well when you say it like that... I did intentionally pick something loud to cheer you up but I didn't think you'd ever want to just blend in. I'm sorry..." Charlie had a smile but her reasoning was sound and her apology seemed genuine, "You look great though."
"Thank you..." Guerin sighed, "Actually I'm sorry. I'm just sensitive cause... you saw Jackson..."
Charlie frowned, "I wondered about that... for what it's worth he seems okay right now." She gestured to the Chinese man who laughed suddenly loudly with one of his staff members.
Guerin shrugged, not fully convinced, "Hopefully he's not just burying it. He seemed so sad when we were talking. It would make me feel better if he wasn't that invested to begin with."
"Wow, Guerin, this is quite the look." Jinyoung sidled up to his girlfriend, sliding an arm around her waist and did nothing to hide the amusement on his face.
"Yeah it is. And where was your fashion sense while this decision was being made?" Guerin passed at him.
"I was playing with Eneoji. But I think Charlie did an amazing job." He said, not swayed at all.
"Well I hope she got fur all over you." Guerin faked a sulk, crossing her arms.
"Oh, she did." Charlie said, opening his jacket to reveal his now tainted black shirt, "It's why he won't take off his coat."
"Hey." He looked offended by the betrayal and pulled his coat back into place but Charlie just slid her arm around him and scrunched her face cutely in response.
"Wow, this outfit is..." JB said, sucking air through his teeth and cocking his head as he suddenly joined them.
"This is all anyone is going to say to me for the rest of the night." Guerin tossed her hands up in the air.
"I mean, it's very YOU. It's just like you with a magnifying glass." JB said squinting his eyes.
"Well I think she looks great." Charlie said, defending her friend.
"Great is..." JB trailed off with a squint. Guerin felt a blow to her ego as she waited for him to finish his sentence, but he was interrupted.
"Guerin, you look straight off a runway girl." BamBam said flirtatiously, appearing next to her suddenly.
"Thank you. But I feel like a lamp attracting moths." Guerin said self consciously, still curious as to what JB was going to say.
"You should wear that to the shoot tomorrow." BamBam said as Byoungjin and Tobio joined. Both of them glanced at Guerin but they were the only ones so far with the sense to not make a comment.
"Absolutely not." Guerin responded to BamBam. "But I guess that means we don't need to wear the same outfit as last time."
"No. If you actually bring an second outfit to change into that would be better." BamBam said.
Byoungjin and Tobio were waiting patiently by the group until Guerin realized they were waiting for an invitation. She quickly introduced them to the rest, Byoungjin already knowing Jinyoung, JB and BamBam but Tobio was new to everyone.
"Noona, what are you filming for?" Tobio asked curiously.
"Ah, it's a music video for the song I recorded with JB." She said, suddenly feeling very silly.
"I cant wait to see it." Charlie said, nudging her friend.
"Yeah, once you make your debut doesn't that make Byoungjin and Tobio your sunbae's?" BamBam cackled at the prospect.
"Does it?" Guerin let out a laugh too.
"You'll always be our Noona first." Tobio assured Guerin with a straight face, only a hint of humor in his expression. She winked at him in return. Her eyes caught Byoungjin looking at JB as though he wanted to say something, which caused her gaze to travel to JB's as the others continued to talk. JB was looking at her and when their eyes met he gave a coy smile. Her mind immediately went back to his unfinished commentary from before. Still feeling raw from her conversation with Jackson she knew she was being unusually sensitive, but she just looked away from him without returning the smile. Guerin missed his surprised and confused expression, but Byoungjin didn't. After the others continued to talk and Byoungjin and Tobio finally got a chance to start a conversation with JB, Guerin excused herself and pretended to leave for the bathroom. Instead she snuck a drink from the bar and headed to the back patio, settling in one of the chairs out by the pool. She played music quietly on her phone and relaxed back, allowing herself to dissociate a bit as she sipped on her drink.
"Here you are Noona." A masculine tone got her attention. Looking up she saw Minhwan and Gabriel approaching.
"Hey boys. I'm surprised you're letting Gabriel out here." She grinned at them.
"He's grounded. Seungbin is with Insu." Minhwan threw his arm around Gabriel whose pout was very obviously over the top fake. "Can we join you?"
"Of course." She sat forward, "Are you guys having fun?"
"Yeah, it's been fun meeting Minhwan-hyung and Byoungjin-hyungs uh... hyungs." Gabriel said clunkily, "They're a lot of fun."
"He likes BamBam the most." Minhwan rolled his eyes, "He high fived him for falling in the pool."
"That tracks." Guerin said in English, knowing HEET knew the slang thanks to her and Gabriel.
"Noona, we wanted to make sure you were okay." Gabriel said suddenly, "Byoungjin mentioned we should check on you."
"You have the subtlety of a bulldozer." Minhwan sighed to his dongsaeng but didn't contradict him and instead looked to Guerin for her answer.
"Aww, you boys are too sweet." She beamed at them affectionately, "I'm okay. It's been an emotional night so I just came out to decompress a little before enjoying the rest of the party."
"Can we help?" Minhwan asked.
"Mmm... no I don't think so. But if that changes I'll definitely let you know." She patted Minhwans knee appreciatively, "You're both good boys, thank you for checking on me."
"I can't believe you're drinking again." Said an increasingly familiar voice. Guerin's smiled faded a little as she looked up at JB and pointedly finished off her drink.
"It's called hair of the dog. Drinking a little when you're hungover is supposed to help." She shrugged and turned back to stare out over the view of the sloping hills the extravagant home was perched on, cicadas and other nightlife chirping through the darkness. "Besides. It's a screwdriver. The orange juice means it's healthy."
"Does it work?" He asked, cocking his head to the side and sticking his hands in his pockets.
She shrugged, "It does if I believe it. I don't know the korean phrase for it, but in English it's called the placebo effect and it's pretty powerful."
JB nodded and greeted Minhwan and Gabriel who suddenly looked very uncomfortable with the change in atmosphere but seemed unwilling to leave their noona just yet.
"Im Jaebeom-ssi." Gabriel said suddenly, very formal. The other three looked at him, JB looked curious, Minhwan seemed worried and Guerin was confused, "Please forgive me if this is rude, I'm a foreigner so it may sound strange, but I would like it if you were sensitive to Guerin-noona right now." Gabriel finished.
JB still looked confused and a bit surprised. He looked from Gabriel to Guerin, whose mouth had dropped open before she let out a nervous laugh and covered her mouth with her free hand. Minhwan panicked and slung an arm around the younger man, covering his mouth from the other side, forcing him into a bow alongside himself. "Jaebeom-hyung, I am so sorry for his words. He did not mean any disrespect."
JB shook his head and raised his hand, "I'm just surprised is all. Would it be alright with you two if I have a private word with Guerin-ssi?"
Gabriel looked at Minhwan sideways from over the older boys hand as Minhwan nodded in agreement, pulling Gabriel up with him as he stood. They bowed again as they left, Guerin waving after them.
"May I join you?" JB asked, waiting for her nod before sitting down, also looking out into the night.
"I was just thinking it's a shame we can't see more stars despite being so far from the city." Guerin said randomly. JB looked at her before casting his gaze upward, "The light pollution isn't as bad but the house it so well lit... I thought about walking downhill a bit to see better."
"Okay, let's do that." He patted his legs and stood up again, gesturing for her to come along. She hesitated, then stood with him, leaving her empty cup behind she followed as he led the way downhill until they couldn't see the house anymore, "This should be good, right?"
"I think so? Our eyes will have to adjust before we can be sure." She said.
"Okay." He sat down again and laid back, patting the ground next to him.
"Ohhhh you think you are so cool right now don't you?" She said with a chuckle.
"I am pretty cool, yeah." He grinned at her as she joined him on the ground. "But not cool enough." He said after she had settled. Guerin turned her head to look at him, "I think I upset you." He said with a frown.
"Yeah, I think so." She sighed and looked back to the sky.
"I'm sorry. I don't know what it was, but if you tell me what it was, I won't do it again." JB said sincerely.
Guerin groaned and gave a small flail rolling away from him suddenly, "Aaaahhhh its dumb though." JB had to press his lips together as he tried not to laugh outright at the sudden tantrum from the older woman. She sighed before speaking again, "Tonight's been emotional so I was already sensitive." JB's hidden smile faded, "But when you were being critical of my appearance earlier it really bothered me."
JB sat up suddenly, "I was being critical?" He thought back on the interaction trying to remember. Guerin peeked through her fingers at him. "Oh, oh no! I was teasing you, I'm sorry that I hurt your feelings! I like your style, it's unusual and fun. I admire that you aren't afraid of attention, but it seems so natural-"
"Okay you don't need to overdo it." Guerin interrupted, still peeking through her fingers. JB stopped and looked embarrassed, his ears reddening slightly but went missed in the dark.
"I'm being genuine." He said sounding a little defensive.
"I appreciate that. And thank you for explaining and apologizing." Guerin dropped her hands and tugged on his sleeve, pointing to the sky when he looked at her, "Look, can you see the stars now?"
He looked up, "Oh... yeah." He started to lay back, then stopped suddenly. He pulled off his oversized dark gray cardigan, tossed it across Guerins body, then laid back in only his tshirt to stargaze with her. Guerin looked at the cardigan then back at JB appreciatively. Slipping her arms through the sleeves rather than argue with him she enjoyed the soft material and his scent now surrounding her as they stargazed in silence for a few minutes, before they headed back to the party.
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Guerin had arrived early and was doing what little she could to help BamBam set up as they waited for JB.
"JB-hyung said that coming out and seeing you fly Mihi for the first time inspired him to write this song." BamBam said as they chitchatted.
"Yeah, he was curious how I trained her for free flight." Guerin nodded.
"What did you tell him?" BamBam asked curiously.
"Well, the first part is building and strengthening the relationship. Before any flying can happen she need to actually has to want to come back to me. That means I need to be more exciting and rewarding than anything she may discover on her own. Any punishment or force someone might be tempted to use only damages that relationship. Then she learns the mechanics of flying, how to move through tree branches, the cue to fly, the cue to return, all protected and in controlled circumstances, until finally all we have left is actually trying free flight. In order for that to be successful is eventually just trusting each other and going for it. She has to trust me that I'll be here and be worth returning to, and I have to trust that she finds me worth returning to. You saw yourself sometimes things go wrong, but we work together to overcome those hardships and we can keep flying. I really do approach all my relationships with a similar mentality." She trailed off, seeing BamBam had stopped working and was looking at her thoughtfully
"Ah... sorry, I should warned you it was a long explanation..." she mumbled with a sheepish grin.
"Yeah it was long." He said unable to resist teasing, "But actually it gave me an idea."
"I'm not late this time and I'm the last one?" JB trotted up to the two of them.
"Hyung, just in time. Do you two have plans for the evening? I have a couple extra scenes I want to shoot." BamBam explained eagerly.
"I didn't have solid plans..." JB trailed off, glancing at Guerin.
She looked nervous but slowly nodded, "Yeah... I'm free."
"Perfect, let's get this first part going then." BamBam rubbed his hands together. "So for this part, it's like you're just getting to know each other." BamBam explained, "Guerin, you sit on that bench like you're waiting for JB, JB you're gonna jog up and you'll greet each other."
They followed his instructions, Guerin standing and they bowed in greeting as though they didn't know each other well yet. Guerin couldn't help a nervous giggle and covered her mouth before forcing herself to drop her hands, "Sorry." She said to JB, "This feels silly."
He quirked a brow and held back a laugh, "You're the one making this weird."
She stuck her hip out and placed a fist on it in an exaggerated manner as she looked up to the sky, "I have no idea what you mean." They both giggled at the ridiculousness of the situation. BamBam called for a cut.
"That wasn't bad considering the video won't have any of your audio. He teased and Guerin hid her face again as she giggled in embarrassment.
"I'm sorry! I'm not a good actor!" She called back.
"Let's take another one." BamBam replied with a knowing smirk.
They managed a few more shots, including JB running off to get them drinks from a vending machine and attempts to skip rocks, which Guerin turned out to be more proficient with than JB and she absolutely lorded it over him off script. He tried to grab her hand at her last throw prompting her to dodge away from him and it led to a short game of chase until he caught her as she rounded a tree and the two giggled until BamBam called another cut and they remembered they were being recorded and separated dutifully.
"You two should just date already." BamBam said daringly as he reviewed the latest footage. "I'm not even giving you direction on this and look at it."
"Ya." JB said with a warning tone, resting his hand on the back of BamBam's neck, "Don't embarrass Guerin-noona." Guerin surpressed a smile at his protective response, but she didn't blame BamBam for his comment. The footage did look like a genuine couple.
"Sorry hyung!" BamBam managed to shrug away from JB's grip with a grin. "Let's move on. Change clothes to your other outfits and move. We're gonna shoot the scenes where you're in an established relationship."
These shots required more direction from BamBam. There was more direct contact and physical closeness than Guerin was mentally prepared for. With the setting sun at the park they were shooting at the scene was romantic already. They held hands and walked arm in arm.
"Guerin, in this part I want you to trip, JB, pull her to you in a hug." BamBam instructed.
JB looked at Guerin, "Is that okay?" He asked, reading her expression.
She swallowed and nodded. The closeness they had been exhibiting all day had been for show but it was wreaking havoc on her very real feelings. JB had confessed his feelings for her already but while she liked him she still couldn't help but wonder if they would be a good fit. Still, it was just a hug right?
She was wrong. As she tripped on an imaginary obstacle he pulled her into his arms and she felt her doubts melt away. At first her head was pulled into his shoulder but they separated enough that her eyes met his. He blinked once, slowly like a cat and she inhaled sharply before biting her lip nervously to resist pushing more.
"Yeah okay that's good." BamBam brought them back to earth and they separated quickly, "We don't need to do that again." He sounded both innocuous and lightly teasing as he wrapped up the shot.
"Okay. Both of you go home and get ready like you're going out for a night on the town." BamBam instructed. Both of them looked at him questioningly and he sighed, "It's for my last second inspiration."
"Yugyeomie!" Guerin exclaimed happily, approaching BamBam and seeing his tall best friend with him, "What are you doing here?" The next part was taking place in the city, like friends going out for drinks.
"Hello Guerin-noona." Yugyeom responded politely with a shy smile and a respectful bow.
"Yugyeom-ah is helping with the shoot, I needed a third." BamBam responded to Guerin's inquiry.
Yugyeom was dressed simply but fashionably, matching the tone BamBam had requested Guerin and JB consider; to pick outfits for a night out. "You look so handsome!" Guerin gushed at the younger man who grinned at the compliment both flattered and embarrassed with the attention as he muttered a humble thanks in response.
"He knows he is handsome." JB's voice said in a teasing tone as he stepped up behind Guerin, causing her heart rate to increase and her skin tingled at his proximity before he put a few more inches of distance between them.
"Hyung..." Yugyeom whined with a pout.
"Oh he's just jealous that you're such a cute lil baby." Guerin cooed at Yugyeom.
"Noona, I am an adult man you know." He said turning on his devastatingly handsome charms.
Guerin crooned playfully, "Ooohhh yes I see that." While JB and BamBam visibly cringed causing Yugyeom to break character and hide his embarrassed smile by covering his face and dropping his head, "You might be a man but you look like a cute Yugy to me." She shook his arm cutely as he whined.
"Not to interrupt Yugyeom-ah's torment but we should get started." BamBam said as he reluctantly slid into his director role. It was fairly simple, Guerin and Yugyeom would be playing friends and they meet up with JB who would witness their closeness and have to react to it in his role as Guerin's boyfriend.
Since audio wasn't important she tried to keep her acting genuine by chatting and being friendly with Yugyeom who was clearly trying to be as cool and handsome as possible. They did several shots with them spotting JB and Guerin waving him over before BamBam paused after a take.
"Guerin, would you be okay hugging Yugyeom? That way it seems more obvious that JB has something to react to." He suggested, clearly dissatisfied with what they had gotten so far.
Guerin glanced at Yugyeom, "I'm fine with it if you're comfortable?"
"You've hugged me today already." Yugyeom pushed her shoulder playfully.
"Yeah but it's different on camera!" She protested, playfully punching him in the arm. He pretended to be hurt and Guerin played along with comforting him, missing the thoughtful frown on JB's face.
"Come on, let's get started." BamBam had to rein in his rowdy actors again. They apologized and got back into position.
They started off normally until Guerin comfortably wrapped her arms around the younger man in an affectionate hug after he did something she found cute. Looking up she made eye contact with JB who had entered the frame to his spot. She beamed seeing him and beckoned him over, but faltered seeing his expression. He looked very convincingly shocked and upset, but he walked over to join them. She took his arm affectionately and pretended to introduce the two before BamBam called for a cut and the three separated.
"I think that's the shot." He nodded.
They took the same scene from a few different angles before it was time to move on to the next scene. They all thanked Yugyeom for his help which he politely accepted, saying he couldn't wait to see the finished product.
"You'd think this would be the most comfortable one but it actually feels super weird." Guerin had been instructed to look like she was settling down for the night. She had showered and put on film appropriate pajamas, grey joggers and an oversized hoodie. Eneoji and Mihi were both in the scene as she sat on the couch. With her dog next to her and the severe macaw sitting on her shoulder, she sat back into her couch with her phone that was functioning as a prop.
"You're just expecting too much of yourself. You've been doing really well." JB said. He wasn't in the scene yet so he was just watching from the sidelines.
"All you need to do is act like you're having a text conversation that is upsetting you. You can pretend to be mad, annoyed, sad, stressed, all of it. Just go with it." BamBam said.
Guerin tried to slip into character, but she wasn't at it long before she got an actual text from JB. She couldn't resist glancing up at him but he was looking innocently down at his phone. Opening the message she had to keep from laughing. It was a picture of her with a filter that put her and Mihi in funny sunglasses. She had no idea how he had managed to get the parrots face to make it into the facial recognition.
"Guerin that's the one emotion I didn't ask for." BamBam directed. JB looked at her with eyebrows raised, still acting like he hadn't done anything wrong.
"Sorry." She glared at JB then looked back to her phone. She got another text from JB not long after. She furrowed her brow, refusing to look at him but couldn't resist taking a peak. This time it was a clip of Eneoji with a dinosaur mask on. She pursed her lips unconvincingly but managed her weakness without another scolding. Instead she texted JB back.
"You are so annoying!"
He responded with another image, this one was just a selfie of him making a ridiculous face. She outright laughed in surprise before remembering. BamBam sighed and Guerin launched into defense, "JB is sabotaging me! He keeps sending me funny pics." She sulked back.
"Hyung..." BamBam looked at JB with an expression of suffering.
"Sorry. Sorry I'll stop." JB said through a laugh he hadn't been able to contain after Guerin't outburst.
Despite the distraction the silliness had managed to relax her. JB messaged her again and she furrowed her brow, opening the message.
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Whatever expressions she had made while texting with JB BamBam seemed to like. The last part of the scene involved her hearing a knock at her door, which is where JB came in. JB knocked on the door to get the timing right for reaction from the animals in the shot to look up, then Guerin stood, set Mihi on her perch and left the frame toward the door.
After shuffling the set up around to focus on the front door and putting the animals away to avoid distraction they continued with filming. Guerin opened the door to JB holding flowers and looking dejected. They did this several times, each time trying something different. The first time she just moved aside to let him in. The second time she leaned against the door and sighed before beckoning him in. The third time he was making a dumb face so she just shut the door again trying not to laugh. The fourth time she reached for his hand, gently holding his fingers as she raised her gaze to his. Meeting his eyes set her heart pounding loudly. She backed away and brought him into her apartment. Guerin was surprised she was able to hear BamBam call for a cut over the blood rushing through her veins.
"That was really great. Let's try for another like that." BamBam said as she quickly dropped JB's hand and moved away.
In the next take she held her arms open to invite him into a hug. He stepped sweetly to her arms, unexpectedly laying his head on her shoulder as he pulled her closer, like someone might if they were seeking comfort. She rubbed his back as though reassuring him but feeling his body against hers and his breath on her neck was becoming too much, so she stepped away from the embrace.
"I don't know about the hug, it makes it hard to see both of your faces." BamBam said looking at the camera with a thoughtful expression after the take, "Let's do another one."
The sixth take JB actually stepped closer to her first and took her hand. Guerin instinctively stepped back into the door but he was still alarmingly close. He had completely abandoned the apologetic expression he had been wearing before and she had to remind herself that they were supposed to be acting. BamBam called for another cut.
"That was a little aggressive JB. You're supposed to be asking forgiveness remember?" BamBam scolded his hyung.
"Ah, sorry I got carried away." JB said sheepishly, pulling away from Guerin.
"That startled me." She said, pressing her hand to her chest and forcing a laugh to cover for her reaction.
((((Tbc... this was so long ugh))))
0 notes
lesbiansirius · 7 years
Text
mutual(s) pining
a work brought to you by bunfox productions, aka yours truly and @lesbianremus! you can also read it on ao3, right here. big thanks to the lovely @nachodiablo who looked it over for us!
this is a prompt fill for the weekly prompt at @introvert-club. this week it was “internet crush”. anyone is welcome to participate, and use the tag #wolfstar introvert prompt for us to see! enjoy :) 
Some days, scrolling Tumblr is pretty boring. A flower, a transparent backpack, a dejected joke about depression, a dead Soundcloud link, nothing to inspire. Sirius is hunched over their laptop, watching the screen with their chin resting on their hand. A long discourse post they can’t be arsed to read, gifs from a show they don’t watch, and then.
Inspiration strikes.
It strikes in the form of two selfies. The person in them is standing in a sunny garden, curls spilling out from under a snapback, and smiling with their eyes closed. You can see lilacs blooming in the background. The person has freckles and a t-shirt with a whale on it, featuring the text “I’m a little overWHALEmed”. Same, Sirius thinks.
They click follow without even looking at the blog.
Remus squints at the tiny, seemingly innocuous, line of text on her dashboard. It’s sandwiched between a masterpost of transfeminine resources Lily’s reblogged (tagged #dead useful tbh #remus i told u joining tumblr wld be worth it) and a post from one of Lily’s friends about how Glinda the Good Witch is trans agenda (shows up at the beginning of Act 2 with a new name).
padfoot has started following you
Who the fuck is padfoot?
Remus quickly opens a new chat, typing in Lily’s url. She had made Lily show her how to do this chat business first, after changing the aesthetically horrifying default blog layout.
do u kno a padfoot
Lily, eternally both awake and online, replies immediately.
wtf is a padfoot
oooh hang on actually i think i do
???
ya they’re one of my mutuals. mostly posts vids of them singing and reblogs pics of animals, iirc
why are they following me??? i don't want to be followed!!
remus chill ffs. it’s not like stalking. they just see ur posts
i dont even have any posts! well except those pics marlene took that u INSISTED i put up here
ur welcome. i bet they think ur hot ;) ;)
hilarious.
remus when will u accept ur cute n give the people what they want!! (more selfies)
im unfollowing u
my dash would be more appealing w just the staff blog posts
im ignoring ur paltry attempts at threats. also, i just went and looked and ya i had the right person. u should check out their vids
why
its polite 2 at least LOOK at someone's blog if they follow u!! honestly remus my 86 yr old grandma is more social media savvy than u
Remus chooses not to reply to that. She does click on padfoot’s blog, though. Not because Lily suggested it, just because she’s curious. What about some boring pictures of her in a garden screamed ‘good content’ to this stranger? Maybe they’re really fond of lilacs, or something.
“What the fuck?” Remus says, glaring at the still shots of the youtube videos embedded on the page in front of her. Whoever padfoot is, they’re apparently unfairly attractive. Remus clicks play on the first video, half-hoping they’re an appalling singer to make up for the ridiculously good looks.
Two hours later, Remus’ phone buzzes, jolting her out of her Tumblr coma and back into reality.
did u die? Lily wants to know. Remus calls her.
“Why would you assume I’m dead?”
“I’ve been knocking on your door for the past ten minutes, asshole.”
“Oh,” Remus looks guiltily down at the headphones she’d put on three videos in.
“Well come open the door,” Lily gripes. “We’re late.”
*
“Can we be late for a thing that we scheduled between the two of us?” Remus points out, as Lily tugs her down the stairs. “You barely even gave me time to put on proper clothes,” she complains.
“We said pub at five. It’s not my fault you weren’t ready.”
“Actually,” Remus says with a self-righteous sniff, “it was. You’re the one who told me to check out padfoot’s blog.”
Lily pauses, looking over at Remus.
“Yeah, three hours ago.”
“Two and a half,” Remus mutters.
“Wow,” Lily smirks. “I knew they’d be your type.”
“Shut up,” Remus grumbles. “We’re going to be late for Weekly Lion’s Den Bitch & Moan.”
“I thought it was impossible to be late for something we scheduled between the two of us,” Lily says mockingly.
Remus walks off without her, ignoring the sound of Lily’s cackles following her down the street.
*
Sirius straightens up from the computer and looks for James. He’s in downward dog position in the kitchen area, because of course.
“Hey,” they say, “quick question.”
“I’ve told you a million times not to interrupt me while my arse is reaching for the sky.” James sounds a little strained, but he still manages to get in a sigh.
Sirius groans. “This is important!”
“More important than my spiritual health?” But James walks slowly into a forward fold, and Sirius waits for him to get upright, one vertebrae at a time. They tap their fingers against their laptop.
James reaches his hands up towards the sun – or in this case, the orange plastic lamp in their kitchen – then finally gives Sirius attention.
“Okay, what’s the quick question?”
“How long should you be mutuals with someone before casually striking up a friendship?” It’s probably not causal to even ask that literally two minutes after the person follows you back, but whatever.
James rolls up his mat and chuckles. “You’re talking to me, literally the least casual person this side of the equator.”
Sirius frowns. They’re used to James always giving advice. Admittedly, sometimes it’s bad advice, but nonetheless.
“You mean I have to use my own judgment? Eh.”
“When I’m your manager you’ll never have to do that,” James jokes.
Sirius doesn’t reply; they’re actually checking out the pretty stranger’s blog now. The title is ‘why are they forcing me to have a title’ and the bio just says ‘she/her’. The pictures are the only thing on the blog. Well, that didn’t exactly help. Tumblr friendships are usually based on mutual interest. Maybe they could strike up a conversation about lilacs?
“Okay, well, thanks for nothing,” they tell James. “I have nothing to go on, my crops are dying, and I haven’t even posted a video in a week.”
“But your crop tops are fine.” James winks and slumps down next to Sirius, looking over their shoulder at the mysterious whale person. “Wow, pretty.”
“I know! The only good thing on Tumblr today. I need more!”
“You need chill,” James says firmly. “Wanna go to the pub?”
Sirius closes the laptop decisively. “Always.”
“Let me change, I’ll be ready in a few.” James gets up, giving Sirius an unnecessarily detailed view of his ass in yoga pants. “And you should put on one of those crop tops.”
“But remember the last time you went out in yoga pants.” Sirius grins. “Worked out well, didn’t it?”
James shakes his head. “Not tonight, honey, I’m tired.”
“It’s hard work being popular.” Sirius shrugs.
They do take James’ advice to change into a crop top, because even if James isn’t up to being hit on, Sirius could use the validation. And they look fucking awesome in a crop top and fishnets.
It’s just a few days after payday, and the time of day when people are off work, so they only barely manage to get the last free booth. Sirius sits down on the edge of the sofa, strategically placing one leg over the other so they’re visible to the people who pass by. It might not be a whale pun or lilacs, but Sirius’ legs rarely fail them.
James returns with an ale for Sirius and his own awful lager with cordial in it. The pink makes it look pretty, but that’s its only redeeming feature in Sirius’ opinion. James sighs happily when he takes the first sip, though.
“Did I tell you about that movie I found the other day? It’s like a comedy about vampires and werewolves, it’s amazing.”
Sirius listens to James try to explain it, and they then spend a considerable amount of time discussing various vampire questions. Do they get boners, and how? Can vampires be vegan? Are there vampires working night jobs that no one knows about?
Their stomach is hurting from laughing by the time Sirius gets up to get a second round. When they get back, James isn’t alone.
*
Remus pushes the door open to The Drunk Carnation, holding it politely for Lily, in spite of what a pain she’s being today. It is Lily’s turn to buy the drinks, which cheers Remus up slightly. At least if she’s going to be mocked she can do it over some semi-expensive alcohol.
Once they’re seated, Remus quickly changes the subject away from Tumblr.
“So how’s your acting class going?”
“Pretty well,” Lily says, sipping at her Seven and Seven. “That creep still won’t stop asking me out.”
“I thought you were going to ask the cute clumsy one to pretend to be your boyfriend?”
Lily shrugs.
“I still might. It’s sort of hilarious watching him work up the nerve to talk to me, though. I’m not sure if I want to put him out of his misery yet.”
“You’re a cruel woman, Lily Evans.”
“Anyway,” Lily says, shrugging off what she probably considers a compliment, “you aren’t getting off that easy. What did you think of padfoot?”
Remus groans, dropping her forehead onto the table and nearly tipping over her can of PBR.
“They’re fine,” she grumbles.
“Someone’s got a crush,” Lily sing-songs. “Hang on.” Her tone of voice changes slightly, and Remus looks up, following her line of sight. She recognizes when Lily’s ‘cute person’ radar is going off. “Weirdly,” Lily continues, looking back at Remus, “that’s him. They guy from acting class.”
“Oh,” Remus frowns. “The creepy one or the one you’ve set your cap for?”
Lily snorts.
“The latter, Jane Austen.” Remus smiles over the top of her beer, but doesn’t reply. Lily looks oddly hesitant for a moment, before her expression clears. “We’re going to go say hi,” she says firmly. Remus groans, but let’s Lily tug her to her feet. “Oh stop moaning,” Lily says.
“I thought this was a dedicated romance-free evening,” Remus says self-righteously.
“It’s just a hello.” Lily strikes a pose as soon as they’re alongside the table, cocking one hip and tilting her head flirtatiously. “James. Fancy seeing you here.”
The man at the table starts slightly, looking up from his phone. He widens his eyes and nearly drops the poor phone into his drink.
“Lily? Oh. Wow, hi. Hello.” Remus stifles a smile as James glances over at her. “Erm,” he says, getting awkwardly to his feet and holding out a hand. “I’m James.”
“Remus.”
“Nice to meet you,” James says politely, before his eyes drift inevitably back over to Lily. “Would you two like to sit?”
Lily looks over at Remus, raising an eyebrow. Remus sighs inwardly, resigning herself to a dull evening of playing third wheel. She knows Lily will go back to their table without protest if Remus asks her to, but she can also see that Lily is more interested in James than her conversation about him had let on.
“Sure,” Remus says, sliding into one side of the booth. She sits on the end, so Lily and James are forced to sit next to each other. Lily grins at her from across the table, and James looks to be a strange combination of thrilled and alarmed.
Remus is just trying to think of a way to excuse herself to give the two of them some time to talk, when someone else approaches the booth.
“I leave for two minutes and you’ve already replaced me,” the person says, heaving a dramatic sigh. Remus just barely manages not to jerk up her head, but she’s staring so intently at her beer that it’s possible she looks like some sort of deranged beer label design student.
Oh no, Remus thinks. I recognize that voice. James is babbling out some kind of protest and Remus’ stomach clenches up. Have we interrupted some kind of date?
Fortunately, Lily quickly takes charge.
“You’re too late. He’s mine now,” she says with a grin. James looks like he’s struggling not to combust on the spot, and Remus stifles a laugh. She’s grateful Lily’s given her a moment to get her equilibrium back. The stranger, padfoot, Remus’ brain helpfully supplies, slides into the booth next to Remus. She turns, friendly expression carefully propped up on her face, and smiles.
“Hello. I’m Remus. The extremely rude one across the way is Lily.”
“Cheers,” Lily says, sipping her drink.
“Sirius,” padfoot says with a grin, holding out a hand. Remus shakes it, trying not to look terribly star-struck.
I can be chill about this, she tells herself firmly. A tiny voice in the back of her mind is screaming that’s a GIANT lie, Lupin. Sirius is even cuter in person and they’re right there, nearly touching her and they smell really nice and it’s horribly distracting. She can’t even escape to the bar to get her head together because Sirius has just brought new drinks and Remus is now trapped against the wall.
“So,” she says a bit desperately, “how do you two know each other?”
Lily, who has apparently decided she’s fulfilled her helpfulness quotient for the year, just smirks at Remus over her drink and lets her flounder.
*
“How don’t we know each other?” Sirius waggles their eyebrows and grins. They then want to punch their own face.
James laughs nervously and glances at Lily. She is pretty, but he’s pathetic. Unlike Sirius, who’s the epitome of coolness right about now.
Remus looks a little pink. It’s adorable. “Oh, were you on a–”
“I beg you not to finish that sentence,” James cuts in. “Sirius is just being a dick. We know each other from school, way back.”
“Clearly this school thing is the way to meet people,” Remus says. Sirius laughs, possibly more than the joke warrants.
But Remus is wearing another t-shirt with whales, and is so beautiful, and Sirius feels like bursting into song. They’re lucky Remus and Lily didn’t turn up after a couple more beers.
“I like your shirt,” they say and nod towards Remus’ chest.
Remus looks down on her beer and giggles. “Whale whale whale,” she says, then looks up. “Get it?”
Lily groans on the other side of the table, but Sirius laughs again. They can’t seem to help it. This person is their kryptonite. “That’s funny. Do you have more of these?”
Remus tells them about the overWHALEmed t-shirt and Sirius pretends not to already know about it. James casts a smug glance at Sirius every now and then, but he looks too nervous himself to be gloating.
“What do you do for fun?” Remus asks, turned to Sirius, her leg almost touching their skin through the fishnets.
“I like singing,” Sirius says. “But it’s not too serious.”
“Ha–” Remus starts, and Sirius groans and buries their head in their arms. “Sorry,” Remus adds quickly. “I’m sure you get that a lot.”
“You have no idea.” Sirius lifts their head again and smiles. “Anyway. What do you like?”
Remus hesitates. “I write,” she says. “But nothing too– er, consequential.”
“Nice save.” Sirius braves nudging her arm with their elbow, and Remus looks at them and smiles.
Sirius doesn’t want to look away. Remus smiles like she’s holding back a much bigger smile, giving the impression that there’s just too much sunshine in her to contain. Sirius spills over.
“I followed you on Tumblr earlier today,” they blurt out. “I liked your selfies.”
Remus goes red. That was the last reaction Sirius had anticipated, but it’s not terrible. “I know,” she admits. “I don’t understand why, though.”
Because you’re beautiful. “They were very aesthetically pleasing pictures,” Sirius improvises. “I was so uninspired and then I saw them and it was good content, what can I say.”
Remus is shaking her head. “Not as good as your singing.”
“You checked out my blog?” At this point, the point where their arms are touching feels like burning, but it’d be weird to move now. Also, Sirius doesn’t want to.
“I don’t have more than ten followers, of course I get curious,” Remus says defensively. She’s not moving her arm, either.
“Really?!” Tumblr really is a hellsite. Remus, no more than ten followers? Atrocious.
“Yes?” Remus looks puzzled.
“You don’t want more?” Sirius is grappling with this concept.
“Not really.” Remus shrugs. “Anyway, I listened to a bunch of your songs, and I really liked them. You should be the one with more followers.”
“Thank you.” Sirius doesn’t know what else to say.
Lily clears her throat. “Excuse me for interrupting what I’m sure would have been an incredibly drawn out flirting process, but I’d like my best friend back, so if you could just exchange numbers now that’d be great.”
Sirius makes a surprised exhale, and Remus moves her arm back at lightning speed. “I will murder you,” she says calmly.
Lily just smiles at her. “Sure, but let’s get drinks first.”
“I’m sorry,” Remus mutters. “May I get out?”
Sirius gets up and gives way, watching with amusement at how James tries not to die when Lily passes him in closer proximity than he could possibly have hoped to have her. They say goodbye, and Lily and Remus start walking away before Sirius finds their bearings.
“Wait!” They take a few long steps to catch up. “Actually, Remus, I’d like that number, if you want to give it to me.”
Remus raises her eyebrows and her mouth opens slightly. How she’s making “flummoxed” look hot, Sirius has no idea.
“Sure, yeah.”
Lily looks extremely smug as they exchange numbers. Sirius is not looking forward to the look on James’ face when they get back to him.
Remus gives them one last barely-contained smile before her and Lily leave, for real this time.
Sirius looks at their phone and starts laughing. Remus saved her number as ‘whale endowed’.
Yes, Sirius has definitely been struck by inspiration.
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ahh-fxck · 3 years
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Warrior’s Blues Ch 11: What Would I Do Without You?
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WOW! It is finally here, the much-awaited chapter 11 of Warrior’s Blues! As @stressedspidergirlsfandomblog​ (most excellent editor and co-creator of this fic) can tell you, getting this chapter into shape was uphill both ways in the snow. I am super pleased with how it shaped up though, and I think you guys will like it, too!
Jaskier shows up to work after Yennefer’s visit drunk, and his best friend is there to help him sort himself out. CW for smoking, drinking, implied death of an OC, grieving
Please let me know if you’d like to be tagged (or untagged) for future updates!!
@astouract​ @ladyknight-keladry​ @yes-im-the-violin-girl​ @smolpoe​
Rating: M
On the day of Yennefer’s visit, Jaskier arrives at work on a bicycle. He’s late and on a bicycle for the same reason, which is to say, he is drunk and cannot drive his car. He is drunk because he’d been so full of mixed emotions after Yennefer left that he’d sat down to eat the rest of the fruit and whipped cream. Somewhere in there, it had seemed like a brilliant idea to pour half a bottle of bourbon after it. 
It was not. Luckily for him, the person working the bar tonight is Julia.
She is a stocky woman in her mid-forties. She has tawny skin and skeptical hazel eyes, and there’s a kind twist to her lips that she often hides. She has a tuft of cropped blue hair and wears a denim vest with a white t-shirt. Even though she is exasperated when he staggers through the door, she feeds him a sandwich and coffee while she fills him in on the meeting he missed. From there, she lets the crew in for the night. 
Jaskier feels like the whole world is an itchy sweater, even after the sandwich and coffee. It’s like his brain is on fire, and he can’t quite settle into the usual friendly chatter that his job requires. He passes an irritable and lonely night out by the door. By the time it’s time to clock out most of the staff is eager to clear out from underfoot; Jaskier is a great boss, but when his nearly infinite good humor runs out he can be a real asshole.
The only one who doesn’t give a fuck is Julia. She knew from the second she saw him wheeling in the door that it was going to be a late night, so she lets the rest of the staff out before pouring herself a big glass of gin. Then she settles her elbows against the bar, watching Jaskier mop the dancefloor. He is flailing wildly with the mop, clearing the floor with brutal inefficiency. Internally she begins to count down the time until he knocks the bucket over. Sure enough, a moment later he does just that. She nods in satisfaction, pleased that her timing is still on point.
Jaskier throws his head back and lets out a shout of pure frustration as his poorly-contained feelings boil over at last. Julia smirks and grabs a bunch of towels, then ambles over to him and starts tossing them on the floor to soak up the mess. 
As she does so she says nothing, but the look she gives him makes him feel transparent. Jaskier avoids her eyes as he tosses some towels down onto the puddle. 
Julia gives a little harrumph, unimpressed, bending to help him clear the towels away. They right the bucket and clean the floor in silence. When they’re done, she turns to him and gives him a long look. 
“So… What’s eating you?”
Jaskier grumbles and straightens. “Nothing.” He hauls the bucket away, fills it with water, and returns. Without making eye contact he begins to mop again.
Julia hums, crossing her arms. “Yeah, and nothing made you stink like bourbon, too. Cough it up.” She leans against a nearby wall, giving him a skeptical look. He looks at her from under the fringe of hair that has fallen over his face. Something about the wide-eyed, guilty glances that he keeps shooting her makes him look sixteen again. She smirks. “I think you wanna tell me but you’re embarrassed, so how about I start making guesses?”
Going pale, Jaskier groans. “Why are you so hell-bent on pushing my buttons?” The last thing he wants is Julia making guesses about what is bothering him. She has a terrible habit of being accurate and she has a memory like an elephant.
“Because you’re not a dumbass kid anymore and you haven’t shown up drunk in years. You missed an important meeting! What the fuck, Jaskier? Don’t make me call you Julian, I swear to fucking god I’ll break out your birth name.”
“Julia…!” Jaskier protested. “I d-”
“Julian Alfred P-”
“Fine! Stop! Oh my god, you are merciless!” Jaskier cries, but secretly he’s glad that she cares enough to needle him. He stops and holds the mop for a moment, blowing his hair out of his eyes as he gathers his thoughts. Then he starts pushing it across the floor again. “I’m sure you heard about the man who rescued Pride this year.”
“Heh, I feel like I’ve met him. Yarpen won’t shut up. Heard from him recently?” She narrows her eyes at him, sure that she’s about to hear some sort of horny idiot story. 
Jaskier blushes hotly, confirming Julia’s suspicions. “Well, funny thing about that.”
“What did you do now?” Julia asks, smirking. She retreats to the bar and picks up her tumbler of gin, then lights a cigarette. 
“We-e-elll…” Jaskier prevaricates.
Julia gives him a long look, and he folds. 
“Um, so I might have brought him back to my house after Pride.”
Julia barks a short laugh. “Color me not surprised. What’s the problem? Is he why you were wearing that birdy when you came in?”. 
Jaskier’s flush deepens. “I meant to take that off before his wife showed up. After that my day got all sort of… muddled.”
“You mean you got chewed out and then got drunk, right?”
“No! You know what, Julia? She yelled at me when I met her in the hospital, but when she came to my house she was…” He pauses, seeing the bewildered look on Julia’s face. “All right, let me back up and explain. He broke his hand, and I had to take him to the hospital. Two weeks later we go for his followup appointment and his wife is there waiting for him. Tracked him down all the way from fucking England! Got the third degree from her there, but the wildest part is, she showed up at my house the next day to talk. About me dating him.”
Julia laughs again, harder and longer. “What the fuck, Jaskier?”
Despite himself, Jaskier breaks into a rueful grin.“Right? Seriously though Julia. If I talk to you about this it stays strictly between you and me, got it? All of it. He’s in the closet and no one else here needs to know any of this.”
“You got it. No gossip. Your secrets are my secrets.” Julia smiles crookedly, sipping at the last of her gin. She’s been keeping Jaskier’s shit to herself since he was a teen. At first, it was out of a desire to not get involved, but by now she genuinely likes the dingbat. He’s dumb but sweet, and he’s been good to her. “So what’s the deal, kiddo?”
“So what it all boiled down to is that she’s not mad at me for sleeping with him… she’s mad I slept with him so fast. Turns out she’s okay with me seeing him again.”
Julia puts her glass down on the bartop, eyes twinkling with amusement. “Okay, that is a new one on me, I gotta admit. What’s the story there? She into watching or something?”
A surprised laugh escapes Jaskier. “No, thank fucking god, I don’t think I’d survive. This woman… oh Julia, you should have seen her. She’s like, five foot four inches of lightning in a bottle. A total force of nature. I think she could snap me like a twig.” A wry twinkle comes into his eye as Julia’s eyebrow goes up.
Smirking, Julia taps some ash off of her cigarette. “Sounds like a hell of a woman.”
Jaskier snorts, cutting her an amused look. “She is, but I don’t think you’d get very far with her. She’s asexual.”
“Oh? The plot thickens.” Julia grins wolfishly, leaning her chin on her hand. Jaskier had a way of getting up to his neck in crazy situations, and it had become something of a spectator sport for her over the years. 
Flushing with embarrassment, a crooked grin flickers across Jaskier’s face. “Yeah, well.” He turns his glass in a full circle. “So it turns out, they uh… have a kid together. And I want you to understand how terrifying this woman was because there was no way in hell I was going to ask for more details. But. What she told me was this. They got married because of their daughter, but Geralt… her husband, the man I was sleeping with… He’s gay.”
“Oh man, you really have a way of finding them, don't you?" This is top-notch Jaskier fuckery, it really is. She’s glad she’d stayed to get the story out of him, even though she knew it meant that she’d be dragged into his shit sooner rather than later. 
“I really do,” Jaskier agrees with a little groan. 
“What’s her name?” 
“Yennefer.”
“Hm. Nice names. Yennefer and Geralt. So she got mad at you for sleeping with Geralt so fast, and then what?” 
“And then, Julia! She told me that she’d always hoped that he’d find someone special. She looked me dead in the eye and said, ‘maybe someone like you’ and I just lost my mind. Just- Pow!” He makes an exploding gesture out from his head with his hands, then shakes his head and returns to mopping. 
“Wow. That was not the reaction I was expecting.”
“Yeah. Yeah! No kidding! Apparently, he’s always been free to choose his lovers. He’s never wanted to bring one home before, though.”
Julia lets out a low whistle, her eyebrows going up. “So he likes you, likes you. And his wife is… okay with this?”
“I don’t think she likes me very much, Julia, but she gave me the phone number to their hotel room. Says I should have a real talk with him before I think about dating him.” He stalks past her into the kitchen to dump out the dirty mop water.
“Just like that?” Julia laughs, leaning in the doorway.
“Threatened to bury my dead body if I didn’t treat him right, in those exact words,” Jaskier says over his shoulder.
Julia leans against the doorframe, shaking with mirth. “Oh my fucking god, Jaskier.”
“I know!” Jaskier cries, flinging his hands up. “This is absurd, Julia! And you know what’s even more ridiculous? I really think I could fall for him, I really do. He’s just so…” He sighs, tossing the mop and bucket in their corner and washing his hands.
“Yeah, Yarpen wouldn’t shut up about him. Six feet plus, white hair, amber eyes, stacked? Sounds very striking.” Julia drawls, eyebrows arching. 
“No, Julia- Well, I mean, yes, but…” He walks back out to the bar, flopping onto one of the tall stools.
“But what?” She smirks, returning to the bar and tapping out her ash.
“Well, I was gonna say beautiful, but I didn’t mean it like that.” Jaskier puffs, drumming his hands on the bar top, trying to find a way to put it. “Like… ohh, I sound like a fool, but he feels like a warm hearth. I just wanna curl up next to him with a book and a cup of tea and fall asleep because I feel so good around him. Safe. And don’t you go telling me he’s a stranger-” Jaskier breaks off as Julia rolls her eyes and opens her mouth to speak. “I know that! I know, and that’s what makes it so weird, Julia. But like, good weird.”
Julia hums thoughtfully, tipping her head to the side. Jaskier has been getting more self-aware as he ages, and for once, she’s inclined to believe that he remembers this guy’s a stranger. “Have you called your therapist yet?”
“For once in my life, yes. I called her before I came in. Hopefully, she’ll have gotten back to me by the time I get home.”
“Good for you. So this is why you came in here drunk off your ass this morning? This whole mess?” She pours him a shot glass of rum and passes it to him.
He takes it with a nod of thanks. “Yeah… I guess I got a little freaked out after his wife grilled me this morning, didn’t cope with it well.” Taking a sip, he frowns. “Julia, I’m in over my head. I don’t really know what to do here. He’s never had a boyfriend before.” 
Letting out a low whistle between her teeth, Julia stubs out her cigarette. “Ain’t he about my age?” 
“Yeah… He’s… I guess he spent his whole adult life in the military and never let himself have one. That’s what his wife said.” Jaskier worries at his lip, blue eyes wide as he shoots a glance at Julia. His glass scrapes on the bar top. 
Annoyed by the sound, Julia tosses him a coaster. Then she hums thoughtfully, swirling the dregs of gin in her glass. “That’s a long time to be lonely.”
Puffing out a long, slow breath, Jaskier nods. He draws the coaster over and sticks it under his drink with a guilty look. “Yeah.” Slumping to the bar top, he puts his chin on his hands. “She said… if I cheated on him it would crush him. She said… ‘Please don’t make things worse by being irresponsible with his very fragile heart.’” Putting his face into his arms, Jaskier gives a little groan. 
Julia sucks in a breath, watching Jaskier crumple in front of her. He’d at least grasped the concept of fidelity by now, but until recently his romances had never been particularly stable. Her heart goes out to him. She finds herself walking around to the other side of the bar to stand awkwardly by his side, her stocky frame only coming up to his shoulder where he sits on the stool. She awkwardly pats said shoulder, then gives it a squeeze. “That’s gotta feel pretty big to you. How are you doin’ with it?”
“I’m feeling massively intimidated, Julia. He’s gorgeous and I really want to date him, but I’m really afraid I’m going to be bad for him. I don’t exactly have the most amazing track record.”
Julia hums, sucking her teeth thoughtfully. She rubs a gentle circle between Jaskier’s shoulderblades, an unusually affectionate gesture for her. “Kiddo, you know I wouldn’t say this normally, but you’ve put a damn ton of work into your personal relationships. I trust the man you’ve grown into, and I think you should try trusting yourself for once. See how it works out for you. It’s been a long time since you let anyone in.”
Jaskier sighs, leaning into the touch. “I know. I worked so hard, and Rue didn’t even get to see much of my life after the dust settled. I hope she’s proud of me.”
A smile lights Julia’s face, but as she speaks a note of grief creeps into her voice. Her partner Rue had passed two years ago, but the pain was still fresh and hot. Rue had been more than a friend to Jaskier, she’d been his absolute favorite person. He missed her almost as dearly as Julia herself did. 
“She’d be proud of you all ‘round, kiddo. You’ve really shaped up. Hell, you stepped up when I needed you.” She gives Jaskier a little shake. “You might be a dumbass, but it matters that you try to get things right. It matters more that you do your best now to fix it when you don’t. That’s all anyone can do.” Julia’s hand moves back to his shoulder, giving it a firm squeeze. “You’re a good man, and I think she’d tell you that, too.”
Jaskier nods, swallowing hard. As Julia’s hand closes on him he realizes all of a sudden how much he misses Rue. His heart contracts with terrible grief. “Oh!” He gasps, surprised by the abruptness of the pain. Reaching back to squeeze Julia’s hand, he can feel his throat tightening. “I feel really lost right now. She’d know what to do.”
A crack appears in Julia’s heart. She nods and steps closer to Jaskier, reaching around his hip and pulling him close. Jaskier leans into her and she grips him tightly with her strong arm. Her cheek presses against him and she squeezes her eyes shut, nodding. “Me too. I miss her like hell.” As she grips Jaskier, silent tears dampen his cheeks. Before long, Julia’s eyes begin to well over too.
Rue had been the center of both of their lives. Julia had been in love with her since they met one hot summer on Coney Island as teenagers. They had kissed in the rain under one of the piers, and that had been it for her. By the time they’d moved in together as adults, Julia would have gone down on one knee and married her in a heartbeat. 
Every summer they took a long vacation on Fire Island, where Julia would pick up part time work as a bartender. They’d met Jaskier one summer there when he was just sixteen years old. He’d been a disaster of a baby queer, but gregarious little Rue had seen something of herself in him. She had taken him under her wing, and he had thrived.
When Rue was diagnosed with ovarian cancer four years ago, it had been at a quiet time in Julia’s life. Jaskier had gotten a therapist a year before and was finally out of her hair. The bar was thriving. Rue and Julia had settled into their home just the way they’d liked it, tea settees and all. Julia remembers looking at this yellow, gold, and cream-colored doily on their tea table after they got home from Rue’s diagnosis. The little sunburst pattern had seared into her mind as she sat in shock. 
The following two years had been hell on a plate. The bar came closer to folding than it ever had as both Julia and Jaskier bent themselves completely out of shape trying to get Rue the care she needed. In the end, that had meant hospice and a funeral. Jaskier had ended up having to plan it for her, and he’d stepped up to the role with a seriousness that she hadn’t thought him physically capable of. It changed something about his personality. Julia watched him go almost overnight from a happy-go-lucky kid to a closed-off and responsible adult. The only exception had happened shortly after Rue’s death. 
When the fuss from the funeral had died down, Jaskier had disappeared for the better part of two weeks. Scheduled everyone in, made sure payroll was cued to go properly, and just… vanished. He’d come back with a bloody lip and fear in his eyes, and Julia had been too heartsick to ask questions. That night they’d grieved Rue together, sitting next to one another and crying their eyes out. Jaskier had fallen asleep on their dinky little couch, and she’d tucked one of Rue’s crocheted blankets over him before she went to bed. 
Since then Jaskier had been eerily quiet. At least, until Pride. After that his mood had been so pleasant that it was making Julia downright nervous. She’d been waiting for the other shoe to drop. Now, at last, it had. 
Jaskier takes a few napkins out from under the bar top, passing them to Julia. They wipe their faces in sticky silence, and afterward, Julia pulls out a smoke and hands him one too. The click of her lighter is loud in the silent bar, echoing off the far walls. 
“Can you imagine what she’d say about this mess?” he asks, a soft huff of laughter escaping him as he shakes his head. His wide blue eyes turn up to take in the fairy lights over the bar, the smoke twisting among them.
“Oh! I can just imagine.” Julia chuckles damply, shaking her head. “She always said you found love in the strangest places.” 
Jaskier smiles crookedly. “She’s not wrong.” Smoke drifts from the cigarette between his long fingers, swirling eddies forming as it rises. 
Julia nods, then blows a slow, lazy smoke ring. “She’d say… don’t listen to your heart anymore. Don’t listen to your head. You’ve heard enough from them for now. Go find someplace quiet, where the silence can slip in through the cracks of you and fill you up. Sometimes the answer slips in alongside the silence." 
The damp groan of chagrin that escapes Jaskier makes Julia smile. "That's right,” he replies, a little smile tugging at the corner of his mouth. “And I would say, I hate silence, it makes me nervous."
Julia nods, amused. "And she would say-" Jaskier's voice joined Julia's and they finished together, "There's your problem right there." 
With a damp chuckle, Jaskier shakes his hair out of his eyes and blinks away the last of his tears. “Oh lord, Julia. I’m glad you’re still here. I don’t know what I’d do without you.”
“Suffer.” Julia jokes, knocking back her gin. “Suffer and die, probably.”
“Crash and burn, at the very least.” Jaskier snorts. He knocks back his glass of rum, then rises at last from the bar. He stubs out his cigarette as he rises. Then, with a soft clinking, he gathers all the glasses and takes them back to the sink to wash. A hush falls over the room, broken only by the splash of water against the metal sink.
Julia turns to watch him, leaning her elbows against the counter. Her head tips to the side as she watches Jaskier dry the dishes, then start scrubbing at the already-clean sink. He takes sanitizer and sprays it on a towel, then starts trying to evict the microscopic grit left around the base of the faucet. After a while, she stirs. “You think this guy might be it?” she asks, her eyes soft as she tips her head to look at her friend.
Jaskier looks down at the wet towel dripping in his hands. “I don’t know. I just… he’s different. I feel really different around him. I think I want to try, but I’m trying to just...” He grimaces, tossing the towel into the bin with a little too much force. “Take a minute to look before I leap.”  
Julia breaks into a wry smile, hazel eyes sparkling with gentle humor. “Good for you. Does that mean I’m gonna be staying late a few more nights?” 
“Could you? I could use the company.” Jaskier looks at her out of the corner of his eye, moving on to wipe the counter. 
Julia scoffs, but there’s a playful note in her voice. “Fine, but you gotta cough up those kreteks you've been teasing me with. You owe me.”
“Oh! I actually have those back at my house, thank you for reminding me!" Jaskier exclaims, smacking his forehead. "I can't believe I forgot. I’ll bring them in tomorrow, I got you a whole case. They came in from Indonesia last week and I just spaced out about them what with everything else going on.”
Eyes lighting up, Julia socks Jaskier affectionately on the shoulder. “Hey! My man! That’s what I’m talking about.” 
Jaskier laughs, rubbing his shoulder. “Anytime. It's the least I can do.”
Julia takes one last drag off of her cigarette, then turns to stub it out. “Listen. You want a ride home? It’s late.”
Jaskier wavers, then turns to look at the storeroom where his bike is. It’s a long ride home in the cold and dark, and he’s heartsick as all hell. It’s hard to turn her down. “Got room in your trunk for my bike?”
“Yep. No sweat. I’ll pull the car around front while you shut down.” Julia pats her pockets, making sure that her wallet, keys, and cigarettes are all in place. 
By the time she’s parked in front, Jaskier is locking the door of the bar. They wordlessly wrestle the bike into the back of the car together, working with the ease of practice. In the car, Julia flips on the stereo and pops in a Patti Smith cassette. Patti’s smoky, dry voice floats through the car, twining through the bouncing and jangling guitar riffs of the opening song of the album. Oh, she looks so fine… I’m gonna uh-uh, make her mine… 
They drive home in comfortable silence. Julia pulls up behind Jaskier’s car and parks. She eyes the white truck in the driveway silently, finishing her smoke as she considers it. Jaskier sits beside her, making no move to get out of the car. Finally, she stubs out her smoke and says, “Is that his?”
Jaskier nods. “Engine keeps overheating. He knows what’s wrong with it but I don’t have the tools for him to fix it, so it’s gonna stay there until I can get them for him. Honestly I don’t have the faintest idea what he wants, it all goes in my ear and then out the other. If he’d just let me take him to the store it would be fine but no-”
Putting her hand on the door, Julia eyes Jaskier kindly. “Kiddo, I don’t need every single detail. It’s his truck, I get it. Let’s go in.”
Jaskier puffs as he’s thrown off track. Then he smiles crookedly, face catching in a bar of orange light from the streetlamp outside. “Sorry. You go on in, I’ve got to bring the bike around back.”
Flourishing her keys, Julia nods. She ambles around the front of Jaskier’s house and unlocks his door, letting herself into the dark entryway. Flicking on the lights, she looks around. The place is uncannily clean and stinks of floor wax and furniture oil. Jaskier’s home usually looks a bit rumpled, like a bed that’s been slept in and then had the covers thrown back into place without being smoothed or tucked. Not dirty, precisely, but not clean. Lived in. This, though… she gives a low whistle under her teeth. Her friend had been understating the distress he’d been experiencing. His home didn’t get this tidy unless something really got under his skin.
She kicks her boots off and heads to the kitchen to get a pot of coffee going, then snags a pudding out of the fridge. As she’s digging around for a spoon, she hears the jingle of keys announcing Jaskier’s arrival through the back door. 
He notes the pudding cup in her hand and the very corner of his mouth turns up, but he doesn’t comment. Instead, he slips past her to drop his bag in his bedroom. When he returns to the kitchen he smiles at her, leaning against the fridge.
“Better?” she asks, tearing open the plastic lid.
“Better,” Jaskier agrees, eyes dancing with a teasing light. “Still like the taste of stolen pudding?”
“Tastes better if you swipe it,” Julia grins unrepentantly. She settles on the stool with her pudding. “Gonna cough up those kreteks?”
Jaskier grins. “You’ve got it. Just a minute, darling. I have to figure out where I put them.” He turns on his foot and bounds off to the other end of his house, rummaging around until he remembers where he stuck the package. It turns out it’s still next to the front door in plain view, hidden on a shelf by the other oddities it’s been stuck on top of. Jaskier’s house is unusually clean, but it isn’t that clean. Making a triumphant noise, he grabs it and heads back towards Julia. 
Pleased, Julia opens the case up in a few quick movements and takes out a carton. She flicks it open, smelling it with great satisfaction. The rich smell of clove and tobacco wafts up to her, and she sighs in contentment. “Ah, that’s the good shit. Thanks, man.”
“You’ve got it. I’ll order more tomorrow, you deserve them. Takes them a while to import but we should be seeing them in the next month or so.” 
Julia laughs. “Man, I’m earning them signing up to listen to your shit like this. Go check your message machine, I ain’t subbing in for your therapist.”
Jaskier huffs a quiet chuckle, shaking his head. “Fine, fine, I’ve got it.” He pours himself a cup of coffee, then ambles over to the message machine and picks up the receiver. He punches in a code and waits, then jots something down on a pad of paper next to it with a brief smile flashing across his face. He turns back to Julia, wiggling the notepad at her. “Got an appointment tomorrow before I go to work. She shoehorned me into her lunch hour.”
“Huh,” Julia grunts, amused. “Better bring that poor woman lunch, she’s a saint for taking you back like that on short notice.”
Jaskier looks chagrined. He settles himself back on a stool with his back to the refrigerator. “Yeah, you're not wrong. Best kind of saint. I thought I’d bring her Thai from that place up on Market street. You know the one with the little golden treasure bag dumpling things?”
“Man, she gets treasure bags? Do I get some?” Julia teases.
“If you come hold my hand tomorrow, you get anything you want.”
“Mm, no dice. I’m doing enough hand-holding as it is. Speaking of which, you could still bring it to me at the bar...” she grins over her mug, eyes sparkling playfully.
Jaskier rolls his eyes and sighs. “Extortionist.” 
“You love me,” she snorts.
“I do,” he breaks out into a smile, leaning against the island top with his elbows. “Thanks for running me home.”
Julia shifts in her seat and sighs, leaning forward onto her elbows and giving Jaskier a frank look. “I got you, it’s no problem. It’s not every day you get blown out of the water by something like this. You gonna be ok?”
Jaskier considers his mug with a thoughtful moue, then nods. “I think I am, Julia. I’m sorry about this morning, it won’t happen again.”
Smirking, Julia shrugs. “Just do better.”
Fluffing the hair on the back of his neck, Jaskier nods. “You got it.” He takes a thoughtful sip of his coffee, then asks, “How are you doing?” His voice is gentle as he asks the question, sensitive to the ongoing nature of her pain.
Julia shifts uneasily, squinting at her mug. “I dunno. I’m making it. Don’t wanna look for a new place yet, but I know it’s gonna be time soon.” She casts a short, hard-to-read look at Jaskier. She appreciates him asking, but she’s also not sure how much she wants to talk.
“When’s the lease up?” Jaskier asks, his eyes soft. 
“Uhm…” Julia cleared her throat. “June.”
“Julia!" Jaskier gasps, exasperated. "That was over a month ago! You didn’t just sign a new one, did you? Why didn’t you talk to me first?” 
“I didn’t wanna talk about it,” Julia growls, scowling.
Jaskier rolls his eyes. “Oh, don’t get all growly with me. You’re miserable there! Rue is all over that place, darling! I can barely turn around twice in there without bumping into something that breaks my heart, I don't know how you go and live there every day."
Julia presses her lips together, tapping her carton of kreteks between her fingers. She shrugs. "I can't imagine being anywhere else. All I have left is there."
Heart breaking a little, Jaskier sighs. He regards Julia kindly. "You can't hold on like that forever." 
Scowling, Julia shrugs. That might be true, but she didn’t have to like it.
Pursing his lips thoughtfully, Jaskier looks her over for a moment. He hesitates, then says, "Why don't you just start looking? There's no harm in at least checking the paper…" he nudges her gently. "Worst that can happen is you don't fall in love with the first place you see. No harm, right?"
Julia shuffles uncomfortably, taking a big gulp of her coffee. She frowns at her cup, then looks out of the corner of her eye at Jaskier. “I can’t afford to break the lease.”
“Nonsense, you’ve got plenty of savings to cover shit like that,” Jaskier replies, still exasperated. “Besides, even if you didn’t, I’d cover you. You know that!”
“I know…” Julia grumbles, “But-”
“So what you mean is, you’re still stuck and you’re not ready to go yet.”
Julia scowls. She wants desperately to argue with him, to lash out and protect herself, but the impulse passes before the words can even form. She shrugs. “Maybe so.” 
Jaskier sighs. “Julia darling, I’m convinced there’s a place in the world for you. Somewhere that will feel good and be just for you. Who knows, maybe you’ll even meet someone soon? Stranger things have happened.”
“Stranger things can eat my ass,” Julia snaps.
Unimpressed, Jaskier shrugs. “Okay.” He pops open his pudding cup and spoons up a mouthful, sucking it off of his spoon thoughtfully. “Mm. Should you ever decide to come out of that suck-ass hedge-maze of grumpiness you’ve built for yourself I’ll be here. I love you, despite all your best efforts to turn into an unmanageable troll.” 
“Oh what, and you’re Prince Charming?” Julia scoffs. “Puh-lease, you little drama queen.” They both eye each other for a moment, wavering, then break out in quiet laughter. Jaskier reaches over and pats her hand, and Julia smiles crookedly. She drains the last of her mug, then sets it down with a final-sounding ‘thunk.’ “All right, mijo. I won’t keep you talking all night. Thanks for the kreteks, I hope you work everything out. Call me if you need me.”
“I will. Same goes for you, darling. My phone is always on for you, and my door is always open. I don’t care what time it is, if you need me you come. Ok?”
Julia eyes him uncertainly, then nods. She had taken him up on the offer before, showing up at odd hours eaten alive by grief and unable to be alone with it anymore. “Ok. See you tomorrow.” She punches his shoulder affectionately, then heads for the door.
“Good night, Julia. Safe drive, I’ll see you tomorrow.” 
~*~
Jaskier puts himself back together during the intervening days. He attends therapy, brings Julia her takeout, and things return to normal at the bar. Sunday morning he rides his bike, but this time he’s sober, more himself. At the end of the night, he pulls Julia to the side as she sighs in exasperation. 
Jaskier gives her a sheepish smile, leaning back against one of the counters. “Sorry, I’m not going to keep you long tonight.”
“Yeah? Good, my fish are starting to worry I’m seeing someone new,” Julia cracks. “What’s up?” Her eyes travel to the closet where the bike is and back to him. “Car ok?”
“What?” He looks over his shoulder in the direction she’s indicating. “Oh! No, it’s fine. I just wanted to take a long ride tonight after work, maybe catch the sunrise out south of my house.”
“Then what is it?”
“It’s Geralt. I finally decided to call him. I think I’ve got my head on straight and I still wanna do it.”
Julia sucks her teeth thoughtfully. It’s sweet to see him excited, but she worries about his heart, too. He doesn’t always guard it as carefully as he should. “You sure? From what you’re telling me, it doesn’t sound like you’re lookin’ at a walk in the park. He’s married, he’s got a family halfway across the world, he’s in the closet…”
Jaskier sighs. “I know, Julia. I was there, I remember.” 
Julia arches her eyebrow at him but doesn’t comment. 
Jaskier chews his lip. “I know it’s probably stupid, and I know we could break each other’s hearts, but…” he ruffles his hand through his hair. “I don’t meet men like that every day. Besides. I will definitely regret it if I don’t at least see him one more time.” 
Julia rolls her eyes, but a fond smile creeps across her tawny face. “I’ll give you wanting to see him again one more time, you two really should talk. Just try not to be a dumbass, ok? Go slow. You’ve gotta take care of yourself, you’re not twenty anymore.”
The look on Jaskier’s face softens thoughtfully, and he nods. “I know. I’ll try to be good.”
“Good. Where are you planning on taking him? This doesn’t sound like public conversation material.”
“Well… that’s one of the reasons I wanted to talk to you. I was thinking maybe the best place would be the bar.”
“What, don’t want to use your house?” Julia asks dryly. 
“Nnnoo, uh…” Jaskier rubs the back of his neck, turning red. 
“I get it.” Julia cuts him off with a quick gesture, smirking.  “You wanna keep it on the up and up. Don’t you have somewhere else you could meet him though?”
“Mmm… I mean, there are some parks I could take him to, but that feels weird for a private conversation, you know?” Julia nods. Jaskier continues, “He’s staying with his wife at the hotel, and I feel like it would be rude to ask him to kick her out so we can talk. Most of my friends have these teeny apartments so I can’t exactly borrow space from them. The bar seemed like the best place.”
Julia hums, then nods. “I get it. Not like I have a porch I could offer you or anything.”
“Yeah. So…?”
Shrugging, Julia stuffs her keys into her pocket. “Go for it. Just don’t fuck all over the furniture or I’m gonna fire you,” she cracks.
Jaskier laughs. “I’ll keep that in mind.” She might not be able to actually fire him, all joking aside, but Julia has a way of finding truly horrifying tasks to saddle him with. He isn’t about to try her and they both know it.  He pushes off of the counter, then digs a faxed receipt out of his back pocket and unfolds it. “Kreteks are on the way, by the bye. Here’s the tracking number.” 
Julia lights up, making grabby hands as Jaskier hands the receipt over. She scans it, then gives a satisfied smile and folds it up to stick in her wallet. “Great. All right, I’m gonna head outta here. Let me know how it goes, ok?”
“As if I’d leave you out of the loop,” Jaskier hums fondly. “I’ll see you tomorrow. Am I gonna lose a hand if I try to hug you?”
“Yep,” Julia says with a chuckle. She reaches over and slaps Jaskier’s shoulder companionably on her way out the door. “Good night, mijo.” 
“Good night, Julia. Drive safe.” Jaskier says to her retreating back, smiling. He turns away as the kitchen door swings shut and makes one last circuit of the bar. When he gets outside he closes up; there is a satisfying click as the tumblers lock into place. It has been a good night, and tomorrow is full of possibilities.
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bruhimaunicorn · 7 years
Text
A light in the darkness
Request for anonymous!
A/N : This imagine is going to be in the time of season six episode ‘JSS ’ when the wolves attack , but I’m going to change things about it . It’ll also go into the episode where the walkers get into Alexandria
Imagine before there were walkers , you were an assassin. Although after the walkers everyone believed you were so sweet and nice. Causing them to think you were too innocent to protect yourself. Which felt like a second chance . Though when the group gets attacked and there is no way around it, you have to kill once again.
You remembered what it was like when someone looked at you with no fear or disgust for the first time. It was like you felt the guilt of your past slip out of your body and you had never felt something so relieving . And somehow over the course of years it never changed. Everyone saw you as some sweet and caring person , everything you always wanted to be , and their opinion never changed . But with the view of innocent came the view of not being able to defend yourself , and while they were wrong you let them believe such things about you. Because you wouldn’t throw away the chance to be someone who didn’t do the things you had done . You wouldn’t just let a life you needed slip away .
And after gaining such a life , you were even granted love . Something someone like you had never gotten before . Something someone like you could never afford in the past . And it was a love that you felt the world came to end just to bring together . And you couldn’t be happier . Daryl was damaged and hurt , just like you , but as time went on that you knew him you never considered him damaged goods . He was so much more then that . And it took him some time to come around to the idea that he was , but once he started to he realised you were the cause of it . And one thing lead to another and now , years later , the two of you were married by Gabriel . So to say luck was on your side was a under statement . And now after it all , you were in Alexandria . A place it seemed you could start a family and have a life that didn’t always demand you to look over your shoulder to check for danger . You even had a house and a dog and a fenced in back yard . It looked like a life straight out of a better homes and gardens magazine . Minus the weapons your neighbors carried on them at all times . And also minus the fact that your husband and people you considered family were out trying to lure a heard of walkers away so that they wouldn’t get in Alexandria.
So maybe your life was straight out of a comic instead of a magazine . The corners of your lips turned upwards into a smirk as the thought crossed your mind . A comic did seem more fitting to your life now and it sounded somewhat peaceful to you . It sounded more real than a life from a magazine . The smirk stayed on your face as you thought over the whole idea of a comic life whilst you stirred cream into your coffee . The smell of the coffee filled your senses as it did every morning and you took a sip to see if it was to your liking yet . Finding it was , you walked to your living room where you found the small golden retriever you called Belle snuggled into your couch . You smiled at how cute she looked sleeping and gently sat down on the other end of the couch so you wouldn’t wake her . You then proceeded to drink your coffee in peace as you did every morning . Sensing you were near , Belle lazily waddled over to you and plopped her self in your lap . As she did every morning . You then pet her with your free hand thoughtlessly . She then whines after a moment as she does every time she didn’t see Daryl around and you smiled down at her “ You miss him too huh ? ” . She looks up at you with her puppy dog eyes as if she wanted to tell you yes . Daryl was the one who found her on his way back from a run a couple weeks back and she had been attached to him from the moment she saw him .
She was abandoned when he found her so she did suffer from separation anxiety when he wasn’t around , but you tried your best to give her alot of attention so she wouldn’t be as sad . She whines once more at you so you set your coffee down and put her on your chest like Daryl always does . It usually quiets her down , but you could still hear her quietly whimper in your neck . “ Oh belle ” you frown, running your hand up and down her back . She licks your neck in return in thanks for attention and you laugh . Even though she was just a puppy , you hated seeing her sad . She was your baby in a way . Trying to think of a way to keep her mind off of things , you say the one thing a dog just couldn’t refuse “ Wanna go outside ? ” . Instantly she starts wiggling in your arms and you laugh as she starts barking rapidly “ I’ll take that as a yes ” . She eagerly continues to bark and you put her on the floor so she could head to the door . As she does , you slip on your shoes and follow her lead outside. She hurriedly flops over to the grass and plays in it . You smile as she does so and sit down on one of the steps to your porch . At this moment you were glad Daryl taught her how to stay in the yard off leash cause there was no way you were going to be pulled around by her .
“ Someone’s enjoying themself ” . You turn your attention away from belle to see Rosita smiling at you. You smile back “ Hey ” . Rosita walks over from where she was standing to come and sit by you . “ Arent you a proud mom ” She jokes , referring to Belle who was now chasing her own tail . You laugh as you watch her “ As any owner of a puppy can be yeah ” . She nudges you with her elbow and you look over at her “ Your house getting as lonely as mine yet ? ” . Tucking a stray hair behind your ear , you answer her “ It’s getting there ” . Rosita nods, wrapping her arm around your shoulders “ I say we have a old fashioned sleep over tonight . Me , you , and Maggie ” . You tilt your head to the side , a smile on your lips “ A sleep over ? ” . She nods “ Come on you know the three of us need a distraction. Especially Maggie ” . Giving in , you continue to smile “ You bring the snacks and I’ll get Maggie ” . She nods again , her smile stretching ear to ear . The two of you then turn to look at belle once again and Rosita squeezes your shoulders “ Do you ever think of making a life here ? ” . You look back at the woman you considered one of your closest friends and noticed the look of her wanting to make one herself in her eyes. “ Sometimes , but I’m guessing the question is more of self admittance ” . She sighs playfully “ You can read me like a book ” . You smile and let her continue . “ All I’ve been thinking about lately is a future . Marriage and kids . The whole nine yards ” she admits .
Sensing the want in her voice , you wonder why she hadn’t done those things yet . “ I don’t know why , but I feel like somethings holding me back from bringing this up to Abraham ” . You parted your lips to try and unearth her problem , but you saw out of the corner of your eye that Maggie and Deanna were walking together . “ Why don’t you go see if Maggie can come tonight , I have to go do something anyways ” She tells you , sending your attention back to her . You grab her free hand “ Are you sure ? I can just go find her later ” . She smiles at you , admiring your good heart “ You’re a good friend Y/N , but I’ll be fine . And if I’m not I’m sure you’ll know . That’s just who you are ” . You look her over with concern , but agree “ If you’re sure ” . She nods and squeezes your hand “ Im sure . I’ll see you tonight ” . You nod and she then hugs you before walking off to do what she needed to get done . You watch until she is out of sight before you put your attention back on Belle . Who was currently passed out in the yard . You smile to yourself once again because of her , she must’ve tired herself out .
You walk over to where she is and pick her up so that you could bring her back inside . Once back inside, you take her upstairs into your bedroom and sit her on top of the blanket you set out for her . You then leave her to her slumber and leave your house so you could catch up with Maggie . You figured she took Deanna to where she told you they were wanting to grow food at so you headed there first . Once you arrived you quickly found Maggie and Deanna discussing different types of plants . “ Mind if I cut in ? ” You ask from behind them . They both turn around to look at you and while Maggie smiles at you , Deanna only stares . The poor woman seemed to be still in a state of shock . You gave them both kind smiles and Maggie nods to answer your question . “ I was just telling Deanna how great this spot will be for crops ” She tells you , suggesting in her own way that you support her idea . You nod “ Of course , Once the wall is built in the expansion this will make a great spot for growing anything we can get our hands on ” . “ Speaking of ” , Maggie stopped to pull something out of her pocket , “ They found crates of these at a nursery just a few miles out . Tomatoes , carrots , you name it . We can plant them right here . Like Y/N said , we just need to finish the expansion and the wall needs to go up ” . You took this chance to be supportive once again “ Your husband , Reg , Wanted this community to grow . You did , too . Has that changed ? ” . You paused for a moment as she looked to her feet . “ Everyone that’s here is because of you ” .
Maggie nods “ You need to show them you’re still here ” . Maggie then hands her the shovel in her hands . Deanna gives the two of you an unsure look and you take the time to put a hand on her shoulder “ You took all of us in . You let us be here . You helped us and so did Reg . Now let us help you ” . A small , very small , smile showed on her face and you smiled back . “ Daryl’s a lucky man to have someone so kind ” She tells you , her voice scratchy . You smile at her compliment and grab a shovel from the ground “ Now let’s get started ” . The three of you start to dig in a line for a moment until screams stop you all . The three of you look around for the source and Deanna yells for Richards , who was taking watch by the wall “ Richards , what’s going on in there ? ” . Before the poor man could answer , fire erupted on the wall before he himself was engulfed in flames . His screams filled the air before he fell over your side of the wall . Your eyes dimmed at the poor man and you felt some of your old instincts come to life again . Maggie walked towards Richards with her gun in hand , whilst you stayed back with Deanna weaponless . The only downfall of people thinking you couldn’t defend yourself was that to play the part , you didn’t carry weapons . “ Oh no ” Deanna cried out and started after Maggie as smoke filled the air . You followed behind her until you all found Richard’s body . Maggie then shoots up at an unknown person on the perch Richard fell from and after she starts running the other way , yelling a “ Come on ” to the two of you .
Deanna stared at the now burned corpse of Richards for a few moments before you shake her shoulder “ We gotta go ” . She gives you a shocked look before the two of you follow after Maggie. But quickly as you fall back behind Deanna, you stray off and get back inside the walls . Chaos seemed to be erupting everywhere and sounds of terrified screams were everywhere . The first person you saw was Ron , who was running from one of the intruders . All at once , memories flooded back into your system of things you had done . The kills , the torture , the kidnapping , and more . You remembered each move like it was a second skin to you and with no choice for Ron to be saved , but by you … You had no choice but to run after the man chasing him . Adrenaline coursed through your veins like a drug , but you couldn’t have been anymore stealthier . You were , to the most defined terms , a predator . The man had already chased Ron up close to Carl’s house where Carl himself had stepped out and shot the man , causing him to cry out for help . But you knew better . He was preying on Carl . Knowing how young Carl was the man knew he still had kindness in him , but you wouldn’t let him hurt Carl .
So you closed in on the man just as Carl got too close and just as the man grabbed Carl’s rifle , you snapped his neck . “ Y/N ? ” Carl asked surprised. He watched then as you analyzed the guys forehead, which had a W on it . “ Y/N H-how did you know how to do that ? ” Edin now asks . You only then stood up straight and proceeded to stomp in the guys face to avoid reanimation . The three teens stood in confusion as they never saw you do something like this , let alone with such brutality . “ Get inside . All three of you ” You told them with dark eyes . The three of them stood staring for a moment before slowly doing as told and once the three were inside you were off to your house . You avoided the intruders with such ease on your way there which made you believe they were amateurs compared to you . But once you were at your house , you went in through the back door and quickly locked it behind you . Hurrying up the stairs , you rush to your bedroom and lock that door as well behind you . Belle immediately alert , jumps to her feet and barks at you . You hold your index finger to your lips which she was taught to be quiet when you did such a thing . She then sits down and only watches as you take up a piece of wood from the floor , revileng a cubby whole that held a couple of weapons and a journal . Moving the journal aside , you grab your glock 17 and stick it in the back of your pants . You then sheath a k-bar and last but not least pull out a machete .
You eyed the blade that was now in your hand and remembered how many people fell prey to not only it , but your own hands . You shut your eyes tightly as the thought crossed your mind and you sucked in a harsh breath “ Suck your shit up Y/N ” . As you said the words to yourself , you thought about all the people out their that needed your past skills . People out there needed you . You nod to yourself and place the board back in its spot before taking a chair and putting it under the door knob so that if someone got into your house Belle would be safe . You then take one last look at belle and climb out the window and onto the roof . You then slide down the gutter on the side of your house and drop to the ground gracefully . You then stayed to the side of your house and looked around for any of the intruders . None were in sight but you could definitely hear screaming not too far from where you were . You rushed to the sound and once you found the source your heart beat harshly against your chest . Four men had cornered Maggie and Rosita . You didn’t have time to think , only strike . No one would hurt a hair on their heads .
As they told your two best friends threatening words , you let out an almost horror movie whistle . Reacting to the sound they turned their heads towards you . “ Hello boys ” You said , a serious tone of voice evident . Which could be one of the most intimidating things about you. Without hesitation , you drew out your k-bar from it’s place and let it fly . Which hit one of the men between the eyes . Whilst he was falling to the ground , you then pull out your pistol and drop the last two men with perfect aim. The two girls stare at you with wide eyes as you , with no certain look on your face , retrieve your k-bar . Whilst you were wiping the blood off the sharp knife, the girls came to your side . “ Y/N ? ” Rosita asks , shock in her voice . Ignoring her question you stand back up and look behind the two girls “ We need to move . There’s still more of them than there is us ” . “ We’re not going anywhere until you explain what just happened and where you got those weapons ” Maggie said demandingly . You look between the two girls with a blank stare “ This can wait . Those people out there with no experience on how to defend themselves can not ” . Reluctantly they agree with you and the three of you went off to help who needed it .
But you felt inside that the life you had worked so hard for was shattering by the moment , along with your heart with each kill.
——
Fourty minutes later you were covered in blood from head to toe . The intruders were dead and gone , the bodies currently residing in the streets . And you were now left with the after math . You were currently sitting on your front porch with bloody hands over your eyes as you tried to repress the memories that came to you. You hated the person you were back then . You hated what you had done . And you promised yourself you would never do those things again unless you absolutely had to . And while you absolutely had to this time , it didn’t make it any easier .
“ Y/N ? ” A voice called for you . You were so deep into your thoughts you didn’t even hear them , but as you felt someone touch your shoulder you removed your hands from your eyes and looked upwards . Unexpectedly, it was Deanna . “ May I sit ? ” She asks you , unsure of your stability . You nod , but don’t say anything. She takes the moment to sit and after pondering on what to say , she turns to you “ I want to thank you , Y/N ” . Your eyes bore into the walk way before you instead of her , but she continued . “ You saved us at the cost of your own sanity ” She tells you , causing you to look up at her once again . “ H-how’d you know ? ” You asked , your voice unexpectedly horse . She smiles kindly at you “ When you came here and I video taped you . I saw something in your eyes that told me you fought to get where you were . You told me once at one of my parties that you hadn’t always been a good person . Granted , you had been drinking that night . But I saw threw it ” . You searched her eyes as she searched yours . “ Y/N You don’t owe me an explanation . You don’t owe anyone one . But you owe it to yourself to forgive . You forgive others so easily with no resentment attached, but it’s unfair that you dont treat yourself the same way ” . You shook your head “ How do you forgive the unforgivable? How do you take back the lives lost and the pain inflicted for something as low as money ? ” .
Deanna put two and two together “ You were an assassin? ” . You flinched at the word as if it had hit you with a bat , but eventually you spoke “ Lets just say I was someone I don’t want to know anymore ” . She nods as she understood you weren’t ready to talk about your past . “ Well whoever you were , isn’t you now . Remember that ” she tells you with one last look . She then goes off to do whatever and you sigh deeply . You wanted this to be a nightmare that you could wake up from, but you were afraid that no nightmare would ever amount to what you were going through . Your heart sunk as you thought about how Daryl would take this . How would he even look at you ? You told him before your past wasn’t pretty and that you wanted to leave it at that , but the cat was out of the bag now . You felt a tear stream down your face as you felt so dirty on the inside . You felt like a monster again .
And who could ever love a monster ?
—–
Blood circled around the drain beneath you as hot water poured on your skin . You watched as it continued to circle your feet as the blood washed from your body . The word monster continued to fill your thoughts and you didn’t try to push them out of your head . You use to , but not now . You felt you were one . A monster who ripped lives away from families and friends . A monster who could never redeem themselves . And you didn’t believe you deserved redemption . You stood there for what seemed like hours , but after washing yourself finally you got out . You wrapped a towel around yourself before you sat on the floor . For only a moment, you sat there with tears running down your face until you heard footsteps downstairs . Your instincts were to get up and see who it was , to see if you were in danger , but you couldn’t bring yourself to . You only continued to let the tears flow as the footsteps grew closer . Suddenly your bathroom door was opened , but you didn’t even bother to look and see who it was .
You just sat there , ready for death if that’s what was coming for you . But it was something else entirely . It was Maggie and Rosita . They both shared a look that clarified their worry for you , but instead of saying anything they just sat on either side of you . They each grabbed one of your hands and supprotively squeezed as you just stared at the wall . You mentally thanked them for just staying by your side without questions and you got the feeling they knew you were grateful for it without having to say anything . Rosita then leans her head on your shoulder and whispers “ You’re not a bad person ” . You wanted to scoff at her , but couldn’t bring yourself to . “ You’re easily the best person we know , Y/N ” Maggie added to Rositas statement . You let out a deep breath and let your head hit the wall behind you “ You don’t know what I’ve done ” . You felt Rosita squeeze your hand “ We don’t care ” . You squeezed your eyes shut once again in response . “ Who you were , no matter how bad , died with the world ” Rosita tried to tell you , but you shook your head at her . “ You wouldnt be saying that if you knew what I did before all this ” . There was a pregnant pause before someone spoke again . “ Then tell us ” Maggie tells you with a kind tone .
You looked at her with a unsure look ,but she just supportively nods . “ I guess it all started when I turned eighteen … I had aged out of the foster care system and had no where to go . No family or friends . And an alley was my bed almost every night . One night while I was trying to sleep , some man approached me and by the looks of him he wasn’t there to help . He tried to rob whatever he saw I had and in an attempt of self defense.. I accidentally killed him . It was one of my darkest moments I believed at the time ” ,You stopped to take a breath , “ The next few weeks I tried to stay away from that alley and all it reminded me of , but someone had other plans for me . It turns out the alley had a security camera for the building next to it and it was owned by some wealthy family I had only heard about on the news . About a month after the alley incident I was taken into custody by some random police officer . I was ran through the system and before you knew it I was taken into a room to be questioned . But instead of an officer there , It was the man of the family himself . He told me that if I worked for him I would be cleared of any charges that I would be faced with . If I didn’t.. I’d go down for man slaughter and anyone I ever knew would suffer. I’ve never been the one to be pressured into anything before , but I could tell if he had it in with the police who would stop him ? Long story short he hired me to become his personal assassin. Whoever apposed him fell no matter who they were . And I got paid for it ” .
Silent gasps fell from their lips as you finished . Your head hung low in shame at what you had done , but as if you had no reason to , Maggie tilted your head back up with her hand “ A awful man took advantage of a young girl by black mailing her ! You have nothing to be ashamed about ” . Nodding her head , Rosita agreed “ You had no way out of a bad situation and he preyed on you ” . But you only shook your head “ But was he the one who took all those people’s lives?! was he the one who tortured people ! No ! ” . You could feel tears welling in your eyes again and you quickly rubbed them to prevent any from falling . “ He might as well been ! He ordered you to do those things ! He black mailed you to do what you wouldn’t have done if he hadn’t ” Rosita exclaimed , almost yelling . You violently shook your head “ Quit trying to tell me I’m innocent in all of this ! For god sakes I’ve torn families apart ! ” . The room fell silent at your outburst , but Maggie slowly rubbed your arm “ No one’s trying to patronize you Y/N . We’re just trying to make you see that no matter what you did, it wasn’t you . You’re good. Truly good ” .
You gave a bitter laugh “ Monster sounds more fitting ” .
——-
The next couple of days seemed to pass by you slowly . Each one giving you the feeling that things could only get worse . And to your dismay , they did . Because it seemed if you truly believed they would , they did . And that was proven when the walkers that had been kept at bay outside of the walls , got in . It all happened so suddenly and while half of you expected this would happen , it still startled you . The groans filled the air like a broken record and if you had time you wouldve cringed . But you didn’t, instead you did as Rick told everyone to and went to your house. You locked all the doors , Windows, anything that could be opened and then you started shutting curtains and turning off lights . You knew the drill by now . After doing those things, you called for Bella who immediately ran to you . Before she could bark at you , you put your finger to your lips and picked her up. “ We gotta be quiet now Bella ” You whispered to her and she clung to you in return . You took a deep breath after so you could catch it and you had a feeling it would be the only time tonight you could. Bella dug her head into your neck as she could sense the danger that now lurked around your safe haven . And ever so softly , you made your way upstairs to your stash underneath the floorboards . You had hoped you’d never have to open it open again after what happened only a couple of days ago , but you didn’t hesitate this time.
You didn’t know why you didn’t, but you didn’t bother waisting time on thinking it over . Instead , you pull out your machete and stuff your pistol in the back of your jeans . As if Bella knew you needed support she licks your neck at the very moment , causing a small smile on your face to appear . But it was short lived as you then flew back downstairs and pulled a chair out to sit in front of your door . You’d wait for any noise of panic there for atleast a hour .
—–
When the sound of panic finally came , you jumped from your seat and peaked through your curtains . Your eyes widened at the scene that played before you . Amongst the walkers and decay , Rick carried a limp Carl. You couldn’t see what was wrong with him , but you didn’t wait for answers . You immediately put Bella in your laundry room and rushed out your front door , causing heads to snap your way . Without a second thought , you started a body trail effortlessly. The only thing you could hear was your heart steadily pumping in your ears like what you were doing had no affect on you . You fought your way through endless walkers until somehow you ended up with the rest of the group . You threw open the door as everyone turned to you and those that weren’t working on Carl looked you over . Following their lead in confusion , you looked down to find yourself literally coated in blood . But you quickly looked back up and rushed to Rick’s side to check on Carl . “ Y/N - ” Maggie started to say , but you pointed to some towels in the corner instead of letting her finish . “ I’m gonna need some vodka ” You tell to no one in particular as you pull on some gloves . “ What are you doing? ” Deniese asks you as everyone just basically stares at you . “ I’m only gonna say this once . I was an assassin before all this and let’s just say this won’t be the first time I’ve helped someone with a shot out eye ” You declare . When no one said anything to you , you sighed “ Do you want him to live ?! ” . You felt Rick fidget from beside you and you turned to him “ If you don’t want me to save him because of my past then I wont . But you need to tell me ” . His cold eyes met yours and he seemed to be bouncing in and out from madness . You knew that feeling better than anyone and you knew what he was about to do . Snapping off your gloves , you look to Deniese “ Take care of him ” . Rick stays still as you then pulled out your machete once again “ Come on ” .
Without hesitation Rick follows you out of the house as some call for the two of you , but you two ignored them all . And then without a second thought you both unleashed chaos . You swung and slashed with such strength and never let up , as did Rick. Soon enough people started to join both of you just from seeing how the two of you took a stand fearlessly. Forming a circle of sorts, you all took out as many as you could . But you knew it wouldn’t be enough . There was more of them than all of you combined and you’d all need a miracle to make it out of this alive . As if the world knew the same thing , you suddenly hear gun fire from not too far off . You kick a walker that’s too close for comfort away from you and look to where the gunfire is coming from and to your surprise you see Abraham and Sasha . You narrow your eyes to see who else was with them and find a truck beneath them . You couldn’t see who was in the driver’s seat , but you noticed Glenn was climbing inside the truck . You felt a breath of relief come over you as he was alive and well . But you didn’t have any more time to stare , so you went back to helping kill off the horde . It wasn’t long after that when you saw flames erupt , causing the walkers to head towards it . Which was infact the miracle you all needed .
Who knew Daryl’s tendency to blow things up would cause a miracle?
—–
When the fighting finally ceased and bodies littered the ground , you found a unoccupied spot to sit on the ground. You placed your machete beside you and leaned back on your palms as if you were basking in the sunlight . You didn’t have even one thought going through your head at the moment and your body was calm , which was something that always happened after you killed anything. You use to call it a killers peace , but now you called it a loss of conscious. But footsteps suddenly intterupt your peace and you look over to your left where you found Daryl walking towards you . And suddenly all peace left you and fear struck your heart as you knew his whole view of you would shadder. He had a smile on his face as he laid his eyes on you , but it faded as he noticed the blood on you . Rushing over to you , he gets on his knees beside you and starts to look over you “ Did someone hurt you ?? Who’s blood is this ? ” . Your mouth fell agape and you started to shake because you didn’t know what to say . “ Y/N ? ” He asked as he never saw you like this before . He reaches out to try and console you , but you moved away from his touch . You felt you were too disgusting for him to even touch . “ Daryl ” Maggie called from where she was with Glenn. She held a sad expression again as she knew she’d have to explain what was going on with you . Daryl didn’t take his eyes off of you , but walked over to Maggie to see what she had to say . You watched as Maggie discreetly told him and before she finished you got to your feet and ran to your house . Your head , unlike earlier , was now full of panicked thoughts and you could hardly control your actions . All you could think was two things . One was they’re gonna kick you out for who you were and two was Daryl would never look at you the same . You didn’t know how you came to the assumption they were going to kick you out , but it seemed rational at the moment . Which was ironic because you were anything but that .
As soon as you got inside and got a bag packed you were out the door again . No one was around at the moment , everyone currently together on account of Carl, so you took the chance to run . Your feet started to run without any help at all and before you knew it you were outside the walls of Alexandria. There was barely any walkers around considering most of them had gotten inside so you didn’t have to stop to kill any . Which put you further and further away from Alexandria by the minute . You kept running and running until the sun was setting that day , only to find out you were in some other town you had no idea about . It didn’t bother you that you weren’t familiar with your surroundings , you spent your whole life in unfamiliar places so it almost felt normal . The town was filled with many shops and businesses, but you avoided them and took the back roads in hope of finding a house or some type of shelter for the night . You were tired and you hadn’t slept the night before because you spent it clearing out the walkers , so you needed to find and clear out some place fast . About two miles down the road you were walking on you spotted a farm , one that reminded you of Herschels. You smiled for a minute at the thought of that time . It seemed so long ago.
- flashback-
Your feet splashed gently in the cool water of the lake that resided on the outskirts of the farm , making small noises that brought a smile to your face for some reason. It was quiet besides the small noises that you made , making it easy to relax but ready if something were to come for you . But you really could never hear one thing that seemed to be coming for you alot now , Daryl. Who infact was heading your way . He was only a couple feet behind you , but he hadn’t announced himself yet . Instead , he watched you . Not in a creepy way of course , he just watched in a way that he could observe you . Because more and more he found you so pure and innocent when no one was looking . It was so refreshing to him . Mostly fascinating actually . But soon he came and sat beside you , causing a small smile to appear on your lips .
“ What ya’ always smilin’ for huh’ ? ” Daryl asks you as he sees it . You shrug carelessly and look over at him “ Why shouldn’t I? ” . He scoffs and you noticed the corners of his eyes crinckling , signalling he had plenty of reasons to give you on why you shouldn’t. “ I dunno’ if you noticed , but there’s freaks out there that want to eat us for dinner ” . Grinning , you laugh a little “ Yeah , but they haven’t ate us yet now have they . That’s something to smile about ” . Daryl gives you a look that you could only assume he thought you were strange , but you saw the corners of his mouth twitching as if he wanted to smile . He quickly covered it up though and retorted “ How 'bout sleeping with one eye open ? ” . You shrugged once again “ Who said before all this I didn’t? Besides sleeping with both eyes closed and getting a good night’s rest is over rated ” . Breaking his will to continue to give you reasons , Daryl laughs at you “ You try and find the good in everything huh’ ? ” . You nod , your smile still on your face “ Everyday ” . He smiles back at you humorously “ Ima’ start calling you sunshine ” . You give him a look as he stares out at the water “ Sunshine ? ” .
He nods “ Cause you always bring out the light in all the bad ” .
- present -
You felt your heart ache as you remembered that day . You could still remember the way your cheeks burned when you blushed. For a moment you considered turning around and heading back to him , but something in you told you that part of your life was over . You looked down to your hand as you stared at your wedding band almost longingly. You’d give anything to be that person Daryl fell in love with . Your eyes went glossy with tears for a moment, but you quickly whipe them away .
“ Monsters don’t cry , Y/N ” You recited to yourself .
—–
As night fell , you finished clearing out the farm house you found . There was only a couple walkers that managed their way inside the fences so it didn’t take long . The house was empty walker wise besides you having to drag a dead body out . The poor woman who owned this place shot herself . You made a mental note to dig her a grave when you could . After it all , you took your things upstairs into the master bedroom and put your things down. You took out a pair of clothes to sleep in from your bag and sat them on the bed. Just as you were about to change , you noticed a note on the bedside table . You grabbed it and realised it was the woman’s suicide note . It was to her daughter and said things about how she hoped she made it through Atlanta and that she makes it back here one day . That the pantrys were full of food for her and that there was plenty of fuel in the basement for the generator to last for years . And a small joke about how her husband’s paranoia of the world ending coming in handy . You felt sad for the woman and her daughter and quickly sat the note back down . You hoped you’d never have to leave a note like that .
Brushing off the note , you stepped into the bathroom to see if the woman had fueled the generator before ..opting out . Turning the knob on the sink to the right , you prayed for water. And thankfully after a awful noise , water poured out . Signalling she fueled the generator . Saying a thank you to no one in particular, you then turned on the hot water in the shower . Once again the awful noise sounded before water poured out . You then looked around for towels and after looking under the sink you found some . They smelt of lilac which warmed your senses , but instead of basking in the moment you grabbed your clothes from the bed . After putting them on the vanity , you undress and step in the shower and finally rid of all the caked up blood on your skin . You scrubbed yourself clean and washed with an impressive amount of soap until your body felt clean . Then you washed your hair with lilac smelling shampoo and came to the conclusion the woman that lived here loved the smell of lilac. You scrubbed the sweat and grease out of your hair until you got it all out . Finishing , you step out and wrap a towel around you . It felt soft against your skin and you almost didnt want to take it off , but you did . You put on your clean clothes and cleaned up after yourself before pulling back the covers on the bed .
You were about to get in , but a knocking sound downstairs stopped you . Your eyebrows furrowed as you wondered who would actually knock on a front door in the world you now lived in . Not taking any chances , you equipped yourself with your weapons . You then silently crept downstairs and towards the front door where a tall figure casted a shadow through the window next to the door . Cursing to yourself about your luck , you demandingly called out “ Who’s there ? ” . You waited for a response for a minute and just as you were growing impatient , the person answered “ It’s me Y/N ” . Your eyes swelled in size as Daryl was on the other side of the door . You didn’t say anything back and only stared at the door . “ Let me in Y/N , I dont wanna have ta’ break tha’ door down . It’ll attract walkers ” . You shook your head no as if he could see you and mentally smacked yourself for doing so. Continuing to only stare , Daryl sighed “ I’m comin’ in ” . Cursing once again , you hurry down the stairs and open the door before he could start trying to break the door in . As soon as you laid eyes on him you felt your heart sink into your stomach . His eyes were red and strained from no sleep and possibly crying , but you wouldn’t ask if he had . The bags under his eyes were starting to grow dark and he hadn’t gotten to shower after the attack . “ Maggie told me everything ” He tells you , his blue eyes soft as they watch you . You look down to your feet as your heart beat fills your ears “ Everyone hates me now don’t they ? ” .
Daryl shakes his head “ No they don’t. No one hates you . Everyone loves you and they’re all worried about you . How do you think they reacted when no one could find you ? How do you think i reacted Y/N ? I lost my shit ” . You now shake your head “ I’m not the girl you fell for . That girl was innocent and kind and wouldn’t hurt a fly … But I’m.. I’m a monster ” . Quickly denying your words , Daryl grabs your arm “ Look at me Y/N ” . You shake your head no , but Daryl squeezes your arm “ Please ” . Hesitantly , you look up and meet his gaze “ Have I ever lied to you ? ” . “ No ” You answer smally . “ Then when I tell you your not a monster you’re not . You can tell me everything you did in your past , but it will never change what I know about you . You might’ve killed people , hurt people , and destroyed people , but if you had the chance I know you wouldve saved them all . Because that’s who you are . And a asshole took advantage of you . He is responsible for those deaths . Every single one ” . Your eyes once again glaze over and Daryl rubs your arm supportively “ I saw the dark in your eyes before I saw the light in them . I saw how haunted you were , but I also saw your determination to fight that darkness . I told you once that I called you sunshine because you bring out the light in things and I meant it . You brought out the light in yourself ” .
A single tear falls down your cheek and Daryl quickly whipes it away “ One thing you’ve always told me is don’t let the past define your future . Because who you are now is not who you were yesterday ” . You bite your lip to stop yourself from sobbing and Daryl runs his hand up to your cheek “ You never have to tell me what you did back then . Because I know for certain I fell for you . I fell for your past , present , and for your future ” . Another tear falls down your face and just like before Daryl whipes it away “ I love you sunshine ” . Before you knew it you were smiling at his words , they always had that affect on you “ I love you too ” . Taking that as a sign that he could fully touch you now , Daryl wraps his arms around you and holds you close to him . You stuff your face into his chest happily for a pregnant moment , but soon Daryl let go so he could close the door . “ Carls gonna be fine by the way ” Daryl tells you once he’s facing you again . You smile at him in return “ That’s great ” . Daryl nods in agreeance “ Yeah ” . You yawn smally then and Daryl smiles at you widely “ Tired? ”.
You nod and reach out for his hand “ Why don’t we go to bed ? ” . He nods and you lead him up the stairs to the bedroom . “ There’s a bathroom right in there . You should take a shower ” You point to the bathroom door . “ Nah ” He says stubbornly before laying on the end of the bed . Rolling your eyes playfully , you walk over to where his feet are hanging off the bed and take his shoes off “ You’re covered in dried up blood and I’m not sleeping next to you like that ” . Daryl leans up on his elbows with a confused look “ You have before ” . “ And that was when there was no showers available ” You point out . He groans loudly and slowly gets up to his feet “ The only way I’m taking a shower right now is if you get in with me ” . You shake your head “ I’m sorry, I just took a shower ” . He gives you a ’ so what ’ look and you laugh “ Seriously ? ” . He nods “ Your husband just tracked you here for over three hours . I think taking a shower with me is asking the very least of you ” . You sigh playfully “ Fine ” . He grins at you proudly and you walk back into the bathroom to start up the shower . “ Alright it’s started ” You called to Daryl as you felt the hot water start to kick in . He soon joined you and once behind you he wrapped his arms around you . You could tell he had already taken his shirt off and you hummed in content.
Daryl soon placed his head on your shoulder and with a shaky breath he said “ Don’t leave me again ” . You frowned at his words , you never wanted to leave him . You were just in such a state of fear that you did the only thing you knew how to do back then , run. “ I’m sorry Daryl ” . He shook his head “ Nothin’ to be sorry about ok? I’ve run before too . Just never run from me ” . You nod your head at him “ The only reason I did was because I thought you’d hate me once you knew what I’d done ” . “ I’ll never hate you . I might get mad at you , but I’ll never hate you . I couldn’t even if I wanted to ” He promises . You didn’t say anything back , but Daryl didn’t mind . He just took the moment to help you out of your shirt. He did so gently as always and once it was off he then helped you rid of all your other clothes . Once you were completely bare infront of him he himself undressed . It didn’t take long and once he was finished both of you stepped in . You stood with your back against him and he once again wrapped his arms around you . “ You’re so good Y/N ” he whispers in your ear . You take a deep breath as you tried to convince yourself of it . But you didn’t need to try much considering his next words set the record straight.
“ And if it takes every single day to make you believe you are then I will . I’ll never give up on you . It’s my turn to put the light in your darkest parts . Just like you did for me ” .
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