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#yeah this was kinda indulgent if im honest. i just like drawing them in outfits that you would never see the
richtextadventures · 2 years ago
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Heartsick: Club Sandwich
Previously on Bae Watch
https://archiveofourown.org/works/16674394/chapters/39101656
Your name is JOHN EGBERT
And you, wanna be the very best
Like no one ever was
To catch them is your real test
To train them is your cause!
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Kanaya: Johnathan, What Is It That You Are Doing?
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Johnathan: What? Nothing! What Did You Think I Was Doi-
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John: *clears throat* sorry, what were you saying?
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Kanaya: Yes, It Sounded As Though You Were Humming Some Tune
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John: i was?
Kanaya: Yes. You Indeed Were Humming Unless I Was Merely Expressing My Imagination.
John: sorry, this elevator ride has been super long is all. feels like it’s been months for some reason. 
Kanaya: I Did Not Expect This Ride To Be As Long, I Must Admit. Might Have To Mention This To Rose When We Get Back.
Yeah, this whole elevator ride has been pretty slow over the few minutes you two have been on it. Probably has something to do with your girlfriend Roxy showing up from her vacation tour across the world with Calliope and getting all up in your grill about your apparent suicide attempt/success. You were not looking forward to having to talk to her about it to begin with, but you were not expecting her to go fucking ballistic like that. At least Kanaya was there to come between you to cool things off.
Speaking of which.
John: yeah hey, where are we going again exactly?
Kanaya: I Am Not Actually Certain Other Than “Away From The Oncoming Vodka Fueled Mess” That Neither Of Us Have To Deal With.
John: vodka?
Kanaya: Yes, Some Form Beverage That Rose Indulges In On Occasion. I Could Smell It Rife In The Air, Coming From Roxy No Less.
John: oh shit, she’s been drinking?
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Kanaya: Let Us Merely Conclude The Topic With That I Think She Was Not Quite All There In Her Behavior And Move On To Something More Pleasing, Like Where Would You Like To Go? The Night Is Quite Young And I Do Not Think Our Fresh Guests Will Be As Quiet As Either Of Us Would Like For Some Time.
John: that’s actually a good question, i haven’t been out in years... in fact i don’t think ive ever been to the city before.
Kanaya: Well, Sounds Like You Might Need A Guide To Show You Around. Thankfully, You Have A Native Of The Area To Be That Guide For You. Now The Question Being, What Are You Feeling Up For?
John: hmm... well, i feel bad about leaving rose alone dealing with roxy and terezi... but i’m sure things will be fine considering she probably expected something like this to begin with.
Kanaya: Far Worse Actually. We Expected Terezi To Blow Up In Angry Emotions To Be Honest.
John: buuuuut, i’m also a bit curious to see what movies have been the result of this new culture we founded. i’ve pretty much re watched everything in my own personal collection at least four times so far, and i’m kinda eager for fresh blood.
Kanaya: Tell Me About It, I Am Actually Craving A Bit Of Plasma Right Now.
John: ...what?
*Ding!*
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Kanaya: Finally! Felt Like Days In Here.
The elevator opens and the pair walk out into the lobby. Quiet tonight, only the red snapping turtle guard was on duty, soundly sleeping at his post. Look at him, being so adorable and cute while being negligent~ If only he weren't a fucking Alligator Turtle, you would pet the heck out of him. Rose said he was just a grumpy turtle, but when you first came here, he snapped at you, and although he didn’t come anywhere near you, you could still feel that bite force rattle your bones. Still, he is pretty cute with his grumpy grandpa looks.
The two of you step pass him quietly and into the courtyard heading towards the garage. Place is lined with a wall and a bunch of trees in bloom, lookin pretty swanky just like the rest of the place.
Kanaya: So, Where Shall We Go Then? Out To Dinner, Or Out To A Motion Picture Center? Either Way, We Face A Challenge.
John: i guess either one is good, we could al- wait, a challenge?
Kanaya: In Case You Had Forgotten, We Are Quite The Celebrities, If Nothing Else For The Fact We Created The People That Inhabit This World, And Are Its Monarchs. This Place Is Rather Covered In Eyes Gazing Upon It At All Times To See What We Do When We Leave.
John: ...the paparazzi?
Kanaya: ...Yes.
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John: oh yeah, fuck, how the hell are we gonna avoid all that shit? grrr, i dont do well under crowded pressure like that. remember the coronation? being scrutinized and shit, it’s really invasive >8B
Kanaya: You Get Used To It. The Prudent Question Being How Can We Avoid Being Caught Out In The Open? I Would Much Rather Avoid Making Our Circumstances Worse Than They Already Are.
Kanaya: Which Reminds Me, We Should Have Probably Changed Our Attire, Might Have Avoided Making Ourselves Obvious Targets That Way.
John: ...maybe people will think we’re in costume?
Kanaya: That... May Actually Work To Our Advantage, Assuming No One Catches On To Who We Really Are. Sort Of Wishing I Had Gone Godtier And Received My Godhood Like You Did. Either Way, Getting Out Unnoted By Our Many Public News Spies Is Going To Be Quite A Bothersome Challenge.
John: we could just fly out of here, i can carry you and stuff. kinda like lois lane and super man, only things are reversed a little.
Kanaya: The Skies Are Watched The Most, Why Do You Think Our Penthouse Is Surrounded By Foliage? Im Certain They Would Tail Us From The Moment We Left.
John: seriously? these guys are starting to sound like stalkers or some shit. in that case, why dont we just teleport out way out? there are pads down here, aren’t there?
Kanaya: That Is True, But The Sectors With Teleporter Access Are Almost As Likely To Be Watched, And Given How We Wish To Enter Cultural And Culinary Centers, Our Usage Of The Pads Would Probably Draw Even Larger Crowds. I Really Do Not Want To Cause That Outcome.
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John: well, shit, wish jade was here, she could just teleport us to where ever we wanted in the city and nobody would be able to spot us like that.
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Kanaya: Are You Not Capable Of That Exact Feat Yourself? To Even Greater Degrees Of Time And Space Than Either Dave Or Jade If I Am Not Mistaken?
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John: ... ... ...
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John: holy shit! i actually forgot all about that!
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John: kanaya! grab my boob arm.
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Kanaya: *Applies Her Appendage In A Grasping Motion To His Upper Limb Socket*
The two of you are enveloped in a white ZZZZZZAPPy thing that you do when you retcon shit, and you’re teleported to a new place, but not a new time.
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Kanaya: W-W-hat? Where Are We?!
John: i think we’re in the back alley of some place we wanted to be in the city, but i wasn’t sure exactly where that was, so i guess i had random turned on?
Kanaya: You Can Randomize Your Zappy Thing?
John: yes!
John: i think :?B
John: anyways, I think we should take a look around to see exactly where we are.
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John, Be Kanaya
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You Are Kanaya Maryam, And You Are Standing With Your Companions For The Evening In Front Of What Looks To Be A Building With A Brightly Colored Neon Sign, Quite The Endearing Colors No Less, You Are Drawn To The Fuschia And Aqua Colors Of The Contraption, More Importantly, It Seems To Be Some Of Culinary Consumption Facility, A Restaurant Specifically. The Surrounding Are Appears Devoid Of Any Likely Onlookers That Would Cause A Fussy Fuss With Your Presence. This Is Good.
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Kanaya: Seems Like We Outside A Nutrition Section.
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Kanaya: Well, Since We Are Already Here, Why Dont We See About Postponing Our Little Movie Endeavor And Look Into Acquiring Some Refreshments For Our Consumption? I Could Really Go For Some Garlic Grubsticks Right About Now.
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John: …garlic grubsticks?
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Kanaya: Yes, Grubsticks… With Garlic…
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John: i thought vampires didn’t like garlic and holy water and stuff?
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Kanaya: John, I Am Not A Vampire, I Am A Rainbow Drinker, And Those Are Just Stories Born From Speculations Over The Course Of Centuries. I Am More Than Allowed To Enjoy Things Of The Culinary Arts If I Wish.
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John: …ok…
John: but we don’t even know if they serve garlic gubsticks here?
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Kanaya: Only One Way To Find Out Then. Shall We?
You And John Head Inside The Dinner And Are Met With A Plethora Of Neon Lights That Line The Edges Of Nearly Everything, Hot Pinks And Red Mixed With Many Shades Of Blues Misty Fog, The Soft Making Of Music, And The Scent Of Decently Cooked, Likely Greasy Fried Food And What You Assume Is Cheap Hairspray… You Are Not Under The Belief That Those Two Things Should Ever Mix, But Thankfully The Food Wins Out Easily Enough In Terms Of Raw Power And Appeal.
A Woman Who Seems To Be A Rather Preppy And Spy Teal Blooded Troll In A Cute Outfit Rolls Up To You And John. Her Voice Is Slightly Annoying, But Also Endearing In A Valley Girl Esque Tone That Reminds You Of The Stereotypes You Would Find In A Typical Troll American Shopping Mall And Vriska... She Must Be A Direct Descendant Of Terezi And Vriska You Jokingly Ponder...Well, Actually, All Trolls Are Descendants Of You And Your Friends.
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(Art by @yahoo-sprites)
Medeny:-{- Hai gaiz!~ Welcome to peachyGrubs! Im Medeny Saalki, I’ll be your Mistress of tubular consumption this evening, which by the way, is gonna be totally delish~ Will that be a feeding booth for two peeps tonight?  -}-
Kanaya: Yes, It Is Merely The Pair Of Tonight, We Would Very Much Like To Dine Here.
Medeny: -{- Right this way my gnarly dude and dudette! -}-
You And Johnath- John, Are Lead To A Dining Booth And Snugly Settle In For A While. Seats Are Quite Plush And Cooly Comfy, Conforming Perfectly To Your Shape. Must Be Made Of Industrial Silk From Cocoons.
Medeny: -{- Kay, can I get you two something extruh like waters while you two look over what to order or are we good for now? -}-
Kanaya: Actually I Think We Are Fine, John?
John: what? yeah! im fine, thanks!
Medeny: -{- Kay, like, laatur gaiz! -}-
Medeny temporarily absconds
John: so i guess we’re in an 80s restaurant then? i base my guess off of the decor and the waitress.
Kanaya: Hopefully That Means They Have The Garlic Grubsticks I Have Been Craving. I Would Be Sorely Disappointed If They Do Not.
The Pair Of You Open Your Menus That Were Here When You Arrived At Your Consumption Platform. You Scan The Menu For The Items Of Interest, And Huzzah! You Found The Garlic Grubsticks!
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You Perform The Customaryam Dance Of Your People When Expressing Joy Over The Prospect Of Getting What You Wanted For The Last Hour Or So!
Within The Confines Of Your Mind Of Course, That Would Be Too Silly To Do In Public... But Also Probably Fun! Still, You Contract The Need To Engage In Such Clownish Behavior.
And Whats This? Sandwiches? Oh Dont Mind If You Indulge In The Act Of Browsing! You Do Need Something A Bit More Substantial  Than Mere Baked Yeast Limbs Smothered In Oil And Spices To Keep Your Hunger Pains Away.
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Kanaya: Be John
=========
You are John Egbert again!
And boy howdy are you starving! That smell of tasty delicious fried foods wharf's from the kitchen is giving you a fucking good apatite! Before you came in here you were merely peckish, but now you can eat an entire ass... which is a Donkey. You’re thinking you could eat a Donkey.
This place is also pretty chill you think, you like the aesthetic of the 80s, pretty sure Roxy, Terezi and Dave would all get a kick out of it. Seems a bit empty though, only  few other people besides you and Kanaya. Must be a slow night.
You scan the menu for something of tasteful consumption to indulge in for a few minutes, but don’t see anything along the lines of spam and lima bean jello mold to regard in horror, thank God. You also don’t see any chicken pot pies, which you personally don’t mind, but you don’t think is a very 80s food.
What you DO find is an assortment of foods that are often prefixed or suffixed with the word “grub”… you aren’t sure if that means they’re made with grubs that are Troll babies, or just regular grubs which are not Troll babies… Troll’s aren’t cannibals, right? You never got around to asking because you are too terrified of the possible answer.
Grubzza?
Grub Pizza?
Is the crust made of grubs, or is it topped with sliced grubs and grub sauce?
Both?
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You shudder at the thought, filling you with disgust… and yet… kinda wonder what baby Troll tastes like… oh great now you’re filled with a sense of dread at such intrusive thoughts.
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Kanaya: Are You All Right?
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John: what?
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Kanaya: I Said Are You All Right? You Seem Rather Uneasy About Something.
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John: oh, i’m fine i guess, it’s just i am reading all of these menu items and
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John: well, they’re kinda giving me the willie’s. they all sound like bug based food. do they have anything appealing to humans by any chance?
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Kanaya: Oh, Have You Read The Opposing Side?
You flip the menu to the backside and are greeted by an assortment of normal looking sandwiches! Holy shit they look good!
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John: OH! sweet! thanks kanaya!
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Kanaya: Seem Rather Excited By The Prospect Of Consuming Human Food Like You Always Do.
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John: yeah! i actually haven’t had a chance to eat out in years! so im actually kind stoked to see how things have changed!
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Kanaya: The Thing Is, I Was Hoping You Would Be Willing To Try Troll Cuisine, See How You Would Take To It. I Know Dave And Jade Have Mixed Opinions Some Dishes, And I Was Wondering If You Would Indulge In My Curiosity. Rose Finds It All Right, And I Have Never Seen You Consume The Delicacies Of Our People. Call It Desire To Share In The Joy Of Eating.
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John: oh. in that case, maybe we could order some separate things and you could recommend something Troll menu maybe? im not sure what exactly is appetizing with all of it sounds like it was alive at some point.
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Kanaya: Well, Technically It All Was Alive At Some Point, It Is Organic Matter After All.
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John: yeah, but some of that organic matter had a face! and might have grown up to have a conversation with me maybe? urgh! the thought is so unnerving!
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Kanaya: I Never Took You For A Vegan, Considering All The Meat You Seem To Consume Back Our Home Together
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John: what? vegan? me? heck no! this big boy needs his protein! ad i love me some kfc!
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John: it’s just i don’t ever expect to eat an unnatural chicken is all. and i am not sure if it’s ok for me to eat some of this troll based stuff.
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Kanaya: In That Case, I Could Select Something For You That Is Troll Origin And Turned Out Faceless All Along If You Would Like. I Know A Few Things Here That You Could Enjoy That I Know For A Fact Rose Would.
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John: well... i guess that will be okay then. question is, do you guys still eat your babie-
A young Troll woman from the Troll 1980s rolls up to the pair of you, stoic wide legged, looking as though shes about to pull something mean on you, when suddenly she snaps into a preppy college valley girl straight out of an American anime with a techy looking pen and notepad.
Its got neon pink and aqua blue lights on the edges and everything, looking really up to the decor. Then you realize its just some highly reflective stickers or something.
Medeny:-{-Hai gaiz, you two diamonds shots rady to order up some grubs?-}-
John: well i sure am mostly. uh, gimme a sec.
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You scan the sandwich menu and find an assortment of normal loking products of Swedish gambling.
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Grilled cheese looks tasty, those things are always filling and satisfyingly good
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You have no idea how to pronounce that one
Diamond Sandwich? Is that cut in the shape of a diamond, or is it made with diamonds?
Heart Sandwich... nope
Spade Sandwich? Like the shovel?
Oh hey, a Club sandwich! Let’s go with that American classic! You cant even remember the last time you had a simple sandwich!
John: yeah, i’ll have a club sandwich please if that’s all right! :)
Medeny:-{-Oooo~ Expecting some company huh?-}-
John: what? no it’s just the two of us.
Medeny:-{-Kay, will that be like, a split between you or something then?-}-
Kanaya: I Do Not Understand The Implication
Medeny:-{-Club sammiches are meant for a 3-way split. It’s made for ashen dates n stuff-}-
John: wow, thats a bit of a clause, why are they made for ash dates specifically?
Medeny:-{-Cuz bondings n stuff. Laik, the heart is for matesprites to munch on and spades for kismesis to get all groady and stuff. You still want the sandwich bro?-}-
John: sure? i mean, i can split it with her if that’s ok?
Kanaya: That Would Be Fine, Except I Do Think We Might Be Overstepping Our Assumptions Our Digestion Pouches Can Handles
Kanaya: We Could Just Eat As Much As We Can And Simply Barky Beast Sack Up The Leftovers As A Means Of Letting Our Guests At Home Know We Were Thinking Of Them While They Were Stuck Together Discussing Our Predicament.
John: sweet! that’s actually a great idea kanaya! that should smooth things over when we get back!
Medeny:-{-PFFFTFTFTFTFFfffffft-}-
John: what’s so funny?
Medeny:-{-Oh nothin, you gaiz r just bein cute as heck right now with your cosplay commitments-}-
John: what?
Medeny:-{-Anyways, one sammich for the rad lad, and for you m’lady, what munchies are you in the mood for?-}-
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John Be Kanaya
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You are now Kanaya Maryam
And you just got asked what you would like for a meal tonight with John. You aren’t that hungry, just wanting to satisfy some cravings for garlic grubsticks, but you could eat some of that sandwich with John, and go for a milkshake now that you think about it, got a bit of a sweet tooth going on with yourself.
You also want to order something Trollish that he might enjoy, better think it over a bit.
What would you like to order?
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ENTER COMMAND (by reblogging this post)
Examples
Kanaya: Browse Menu
John: Order Sandwich
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Hello everyone, about a year ago, I started writing Heartsick, took me a while, but I got in about 5 chapters and people liked it!
I was working on chapter 6, butt sadly as many of my long time followers are aware, I got purged due to being too sexy
Thankfully I had the foresight to store the 5 chapters that were finished onto AO3
Sadly, I lost my drive to keep going because I lost all of chapter 6, meaning I had to restart it from scratch
That was in December 2018
I have since restored much of my desire to keep working on it, and with this recovered chapter, I shall keep going
I am even going to go a step further, as I got a couple of surprises in store for you guys. Said Surprises are mostly ready, butt until then, I hope you enjoyed this rewritten first half of the chapter.
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fandomsandfears · 2 years ago
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I got my shit together and digitized my Human Sonic designs since the fandub stole my heart
And of course i included my babes from Sonic Underground since I grew up with them as my only source of reference fro the sonic franchise had to but Sonia and Manic together or else they’d exceed
IF YALL WANT ME TO DESIGN HUMAN DESIGNS FOR OTHER SONIC CHARACTER HMU THESE ARE JUST THE ONES IM MOST FAMILIAR WITH BUT IM ALL UP FOR MORE!!
ALSO IF YOU WANT ME TO DRAW INTERACTION OR SHIPS OR ANYTHING WITH THESE DESIGNS HMU BECAUSE IM HAVING FUN uWu
Design choices and other notes under the cut,,
Sonic
Kept all of his original clothing choices, the gloves the shoes.  Only thing i really thought About otherwise was the yellow lines there are the strings of a necklace, a callback to Sonic Underground since that was my only reference for the sonic franchise up until the fandub aha. pretty simple design otherwise.
Tails
A little bit hate this one but that’s okay. There’s just a lot of orange and yellow which is not an enjoyable colour pallet in large doses for me. He is small,,, because hes like,, 8?? hes just a baby,,, the vest and shorts were made to mimic Sonic’s. because,, sidekick,,, idol,, He really only has the scarf to mimic his two tails because i couldn't figure out what else to do. Of course kept the normal shoes and gloves.
Amy
Very simple, easy, Her quills were easy to make hair, and since she and all the girls always have full outfits i didn't have to try and make something up,,, very easy thank you Amy
Shadow
An emo bastard whom i love. Only clothes I kept where his shoes really. His gloves were kept for the most bard but I made they finger less because its what he deserves,,, Made the chest fluff into a bandanna because im always a slut fro bandannas like how sexy of you Shadow wrow. Other than that, maybe leather jacket?? ist fro sure a jacket!! and jeans, all blackish/ dark greys  because he has an aesthetic man. He also has a gun just cuz,, heels also,,
Silver
Okay this bitch fucked me up more then he should have considering hes the reason i wanted to do this in the first place?? I gave him long hair in a ponytail n stuff because 1, to replicate his longer quills than the others and 2, its what we all deserve don’t at me.  Don’t even question me on the blue lipstick i just felt it was necessary fro some reason. His chest fluff is replicated by the fur collar of his outfit. I kept his gloves (?) and the neon blue pattern throughout it. I know I got the boots from one of his designs but i’m not exactly sure which one? the tailcoat was very self indulgent cuz i like tailcoats and Silver is a kinda fancy future boy in my head so y’know. All in all, Silver was entirely self indulgent in design,, Also heels,,
Blaze
Blaze, again like Amy and most female characters, are fully dressed typically so No  changes to the outfit. Her hair was kinda a bitch just cuz i  couldn't conceptualize it for some reason. I also just gave her earrings to match the lips and shoes and dot. Shes pretty simple deign wise
Rouge
Rouge, back at it again with the easy given female outfits,,, Gonna be honest don’t rlly remember why i gave the collar piece and straps, maybe just to make the mini cap not look as out of place?? the cap itself was meant as a stand in for her wings. Her hair was a joy, her ears were just so big i had to make something of them and thus buns,, The earring was entirely a choice i made, since i think she also has a thing with the emeralds that like ,, a thing?? idk lore that much aah i’m still learning. All in all she is a babe tho 
Knuckles
His hair felt very much like it needed to be dread?? So there dreads?? that’s all on that matter. TBH the lil crescent on his chest threw me for a loom but i just decide to put it on his shirt like a design.good ol tank top, to show off the gun show. kept his gloves and shoes. the cargo pants just felt very appropriate i don’t actually know why just felt right
Queen Aleena
Very easy gal!! She has so much clothe on her original design!! Her crown was a little bit of a nightmare mostly because of her awful hair i just couldn't figure it out but i managed, aha. She looks pretty by like her normal design tbh
Sonia
Last easy gal design!! My babe from underground!! Her outfit was just ripped straight fro her original design since its all encompassing, i have her some earrings because she deserves it, and I kept her longer hair (?) but she has a little bit of an undercut i think is what that is?? yeah, a babe!!
Manic
Manic,,, Is the only one I was bold enough to actually not put a shirt on,, literally because hes kinda a trash baby?? And he wouldn't care that much?? He does canonically had a vest tho so he kept that. Shorts motif like his bro. Everything else was pretty but teh same tho. Kept the gloves and  bracelets, slapped on some earrings, weird scruffy hair what else you want from me yall
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