#yeah you guys are lucky

[1driedpersimmon]

L. A.fter B.eyond B.irthday

Playlist: X

#THATS A MUSIC PLAYLIST ITS ON YOUTUBE !!!! #I put it together because I thought it’d be fun 👉👈 #it should be listened in order hehe (oh well only if you want tho) #sorry it’s only YouTube I don’t use Spotify #but yeah!!! enjoy #I’ve worked on this piece for a few days I don’t wanna look at it anymore… urgh #death note #B #Beyond birthday #haha also get it get it there’s 13 songs ha ha ha ha #don’t mind the blood he’ll clean it up soon mhmhm #blood #just in case #u guys r lucky I was gonna put some dismembered limbs but I was like.. #nah I don’t wanna look that up rn #smh #yeah #ok I’ll stop enjoy the painting

[itsdefinitely]

hey don't cry. the jeri/rys will never be able to share simple human intimacy. they'll never get to hold hands. why are you crying louder

#im so normal about them!!!!! #<- read one fic that changed his life forever #the axeman is like the minotaur to me #daedelus was locked up in the labyrinth he created yknow #(voice of a guy who is absolutely insane) have you thought about the implications #take my hand. make parallels and be crazy about religion being both the thing keeping them together and the thing driving them apart #boy jerry #girl jeri #nightmare time 2 #abstinence camp #definite's ted talks #i could talk about them forever (this is a threat) #my friends are so lucky that they havent seen nightmare time that shit ruins you #you end up thinking about two incredibly repressed christians #im literally insane. do you understand do you understand do you understand do you understand do you understand do you understand do you und #no yeah im not gonna be able to do anything but think about them for a while

[sciderman]

Sometimes i remember a comics moment i randomly came across somewhere, where Sam Wilson mentiones a musical and Steve Rodgers says he doesn't like musicals, to whitch Sam goes "Guess that means you really are straight" and even tho i don't care about Cap America or the Avengers, the moment stuck in me for that quote by Sam. And like....Sci, any ideas if straight men actually don't like musicals or is that bullshit?

actually i think i know more gay men who hate musicals than i know straight men who hate musicals. i've had a drag queen stop me point blank when i was about to sing a barbra streisand song, and i know so many gays who pointedly hate abba. so based on my experience i think the inverse is true. most of the straight men i know are kind of impartial about musicals, but gay men? hate.

my theory is that a lot of gay men don't want to fall into stereotypes, maybe. but thaaaaat's just a theory! a gay theory.

#sci speaks #i'm trying to understand the gays. they are a mystery to me. #i've seen a lot more toxic masculinity coming from gay men than i have from straight men. #i think it makes sense. they have less women in their lives. so they reckon with a lot more masculinity. more dick measuring. #also gay men have some of THE most unhealthy romantic relationships i've ever seen in my life. #this isn't a blanket statement on everyone but just from what i've seen. it's such a strange pattern i've observed. #lesbians? healthy. straights? usually healthy. gay men? universally a tire fire that makes me say “if you hate each other so much ??” #“why are you together??????????” #i have never met a cis gay mlm couple in real life that was healthy. every single one of them made my eyes widen in horror. #i want them to be healthy. please treat each other better. #the number of bitchy bitchy fights i've seen between mlm couples in public that make me so terrified #but i know mlm relationships in general are usually less... affectionate than wlw relationships. even and especially friendships. #just an observation. #i hate to say that there is a definite difference between amab vs afab experiences when it comes to relationship dynamics but. #of course there is. there is. as much as i want to say gender and sex do not matter. it really does. #it makes a difference. it does. #which is kind of why i'm glad i was born in the body i was. when people say “trans means you feel you were born in the wrong body” #im like.. i don't think that's true. i don't think that's true for me. #i wouldn't be me if i wasn't born the way i was. and i want to be me. but i'm a boy. i'm a boy but in the body that i have. #my body is still a boy's body. because i live in here. #sorry this went off on a tangent. #but yeah i know my brain would be different if i was amab. and i don't want all those other issues. #i think the only reason i'm so peaceful and serene is because i'm afab. and afabulous. #i see cis guys and im like.. yeah i don't want what you got. #once again! lucky to be me! i'm lucky. im lucky i have a vargooba. thank fuck for that! #couldve been so much worse off. could've been born with a dick and would be fighting for my life right now.

[black-and-yellow]

Wake up it's time for Hotel Dusk posting.

#hotel dusk room 215 #last window the secret of cape west #kyle hyde #louis denonno #LWDE (last window Denonno edition) #i've been thinking of the mental Last Window AU a lot. #I think either Dunning finally decides to fix up the hotel so it has to close for a while #or Louie just leaves of his own volition. or gets fired. whichever #either way he's gotta be out of there #obviously he knows where Kyle lives cause he has the guest logs #he turns up at his door like 'yo hyde guess who' and Kyle is like 'great' but lets him stay anyway because #why wouldn't you. it's louie #he crashes on the couch but he's pretty content there. #lends a hand at Lucky's Cafe mixing drinks. earns his keep #when he first arrives Tony asks him for money which starts them off on a bad foot #when Marie's ring goes missing and Tony gets blamed he's like 'no way. it's that shady guy who's staying with Hyde' #obviously Kyle is torn because he knows Louie has a history and Tony's not exactly honest #but he wants to believe he's innocent #drama !! #so yeah that's what I've been thinking about #guess who's listening to Romeo by Basement Jaxx again

[gremlem]

so, um. I, hrg, yeah <3

#goobie art #happy valentines day i guess??? #anyways yeah um #hes who ive been vagueing abt in tags recently #and now you guys get to know #so lucky for u <3 #Matthew Patel #scott pilgrim #self ship #selfship #Arrrwooo #lord give me the strength to not be embarrassed

[corffee]

Whenever I see people use my gif of that one sad shadow scene, I always go “THATS MY HAND” cause of the reflection off my laptop-

#yeah you guys got a free hand reveal lucky ducks #sonic prime #sonic

[spider-man-2o99]

makes you read vulture 2099 again makes you read vulture 2099 again makes you read vulture 2099 again makes  you read vulture 2099 again makes you read vulture 2099 again

#talking tag #spider-man 2099 #spiderman 2099 #miguel o'hara #vulture 2099 #marvel #comics #comic panels #something something idk man i justt enjoy these issues theyre Fun #whag do u want from me. the bungled potential is tantalizing when i Want to indulge in ripping and tearing into canon? #as i always say lmao vulture 2099 COULD be a really interesting character. like. the Potential's there #reinforces how Lucky mig was that he came from a life of having as many privileges as he had when he got mutated... and that nobody Saw It. #plus yknow. can also serve as a narrative Mirror for migs worst fears abt himself! what would YOU do if ur intrusive thoughts made manifest- #--called YOU a coward and a capitalist pawn 4 not wanting 2 kill and eat people . and all while wearing THOSE tassled PANTS.... #idk man just something real neat 2 me abt how vulture is the only villain mig kills On Purpose and even then he Runs b4 he hits the ground. #his anger burns out so Fast. he cant even like. make himself watch the Cannibal Gang Boss get turned into street pizza yknow #he feels worse about killing the VULTURE than he ever really did about killing the specialist because he actively CHOSE to do it this time #cutting the specialist's throat w/ his talons was just an Accident caused by him lashing out against an enemy determined 2 Kill Him y/k #yeah it still caused him a great amnt of Distress to accidentally Kill Someone but he does not spend any panels shedding tears over the guy. #but the vulture. the VULTURE stays on his mind for the next 30 issues AT LEAST...... #god this miserable little man. great power and greater guilt and responsibility both a burden and inherent.

[skunkes]

was abt to make a silly post about how at this point i barter with the universe for a bf like "please id take care of him and walk him and dress him up", like a child begging for a pet, and then i think abt how as much as i want an actual pet I don't think im fit to ever have one of those either

#talkys #i want a partner i dont think i should have one for equal parts not thinking im worthy and also being too picky #and enjoying my alone time as much as the loneliness and skin hunger hurts me so badly every single day #after hearing with and interacting with others its like is it even worth it if ill still turn to my imagination...! like will it ever be #enough? #or i see ppl post about the Good and its like. id never be lucky enough to find someone who fit my needs and didnt hate me and #wanted to spend time with me it wld be so difficult. i will never be that lucky #but then wagh. ive talked about this before i hate falling into this pit bc ive always been undesirable so convincing myself of all this #feels very like. well yeah. it was never gonna happen anyway but good thing you finally found your Cope! #delete later #i cannot even make friends. the stars will never align. but all i want is my own guy to worship. belongs with me‚ the devotee #being unworthy but also being like. im a catch i can be as picky as i want (forgets hes ugly as fuck and kind of useless with it too) #whatever either way we are not going to make it

[doodle17]

Haha, man! Did you guys see that cover for the dreams come to life graphic novel? Pretty crazy right? Haha yeah, I thought so too

Anyways, heh, one I thing I noticed was, they used the dark revival ink demon! Hahaha which is funny! Y'know? Because- last time I read the books, the Ink Demon was, very much his Batim model by the description, y'know?

Haha and- if the dark revival model is going to be his, officially canon design now, and, he doesn't look like that because of the cycle, and the original model has been retconned, hahaha then;

Whats even the fucking point anymore?

#No I am not okay :) #IM SO PISSED #I HATE THISSSS #THE BOOKS DONT EVEN DESCRIBE HIM LIKE THAT #ITS CLEARLY HIS BATIM MODEL #WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU GUYS DOING NOOOOO YOURE MESSING IT UP #YALL ARE SO GODAMN LUCKY I AINT IN CHARGE BECAUSE I WOULD- #AVAIWBKWBAKWBWK #Okay #Okay I'm still pissed but I'm slightly exaggerating #But still #WHY #It's so incorrect #Yeah maybe it's just me being mad because the batim model is my favorite ink demon model #But I mean- come on! #People who have read the books #You HAVE to agree with me! #Doodles rants #bendy #bendy and the ink machine #bendy and the dark revival #batim #batdr #batim dctl #bendy dctl #Doodle has gone insane everyone

[teka-chat]

my last art of 2023, here's a Goldie !

#my last art of 2021 was a human version of her #i also like the human version but this one is fluffier :] #i'm gonna be really honest : i have not a single hope that anything will get better in the world in 2024. #the big picture ? nah i don't feel any positivity towards it. #but on a personal level ? i think 2024 is gonna be really important for me. a big shift. #i haven't said this to everyone but i'm moving out from home in about 2 months. from shut-in to moving out is a big deal ! #so i think this is gonna be a positive change for me #oh hey actually #i haven't really redesigned her yet but i don't think her design's gonna change too much so #planet delumina #<- the first post in the tag ! #just 'delumina' looked weird as a tag so planet delumina it is #as you might guess... delumina is the name of the planet #i could've called the tag 'light road galaxy' or 'viridi solar system' as well since delumina's not the only important space rock #but yeah most of the little guys are gonna be on delumina so #lucky atelier art

[deadinarussianelevator]

I am completely serious when I say that sharing my tumblr is something that I will do probably only after I'm engaged. That's a level of personal revealing that can only be done once I've decided to give my whole life in union to someone.

#Is it a silly little blog? yeah #Is it also a journal? absolutely #Rob (m'boyfriend) is like... hmmm you still haven't shared you tumblr with me #I'm like my guy you're lucky you even know I HAVE a tumblr

[shmorp-mcdurgen]

Adam had been walking for what had to be over an hour, rubbing his arms in the frozen chill.

Jonah just had to fucking abandon him at the house, scared out of his pants from a cold door and a messy house. In Adam’s opinion it was bullshit.

He shuddered, rubbing his arms more as he continued following the tire tracks.

Jonah was gonna fucking get it when the blond saw him next. Whatever that meant was lost on him for now, but Adam knew it was gonna happen, and it was gonna hurt.

Continuing to walk, he eventually came across the car, lights blinking as it sat there, the front driver's door open. Seriously?

As Adam came closer, he was hit with the disgusting and iron-like smell of blood. What? 

He coughed at the foul smell, leaning a hand on the car. What the actual fuck was that? Did Jonah hit a deer or something?

Though, as he went around the vehicle to see, he stopped dead in his tracks, eyes widening.

Jonah was laying on the snow, blood seeping from various wounds on his person as he laid completely limp. Red viscous blood poured from a gash on his head, and Adam didn’t truly know if it was deadly but it sure fucking seemed like it.

Stumbling in the snow, Adam fell to his knees and tried to shake Jonah awake.

Nononononononononono—

“JONAH WAKE UP PLEASE WAKE UP PLEASE—” He desperately shook the man’s shoulders, a whimper rising in his throat. Jonah couldn’t be dead, he just couldn’t be.

He took everything back. Everything. Jonah couldn’t be dead. Please don’t let his only friend be dead–

“..h…huh…?” Jonah grunted, and Adam could explode with happiness right then and there. “YOU’RE ALIVE!!”

“....yea… mmrmm…l…loud….” 

“..sorry sorry i just–” Jonah’s half lidded eyes widened and he whined, desperately attempting to sluggishly back away. “Jonah? What are you doing?”

“...not… ..Adam… wrong…”

…

…What.

“Jonah i- i’m Adam, you know this!”

“..nuh uh….” 

“Don’t ‘NUH-UH’ ME.” Rage filled Adam’s chest and he yanked Jonah into a standing position, stopping when the other yelped in agony. “...fuck i didn’t mean…”

Jonah simply whimpered in response, resigning himself to whatever may happen. Adam needed to get him back to base, back home.

Nutcase may be a, well, Nutcase, but Adam knew the guy knew a lot more about medical than he did.

Gently leading Jonah to the car, Adam lightly pushed him into the passenger's seat and got into the driver’s seat, turning on the car and beginning to speed down the road. At least Jonah had the consciousness to buckle his own damn seatbelt.

He continued to speed down the road, finding himself back at base quickly due to his reckless ass driving.

Opening his door and going to Jonah’s side of the vehicle, Adam was happy to see Jonah still barely awake, holding onto the thread of consciousness desperately. “Come on, Jonah. We’re here. Can you walk?”

Jonah just barely made a gurgling sound in response, slumping forward. Adam sighed and heaved him upwards, beginning to gently lead the stumbling man towards base.

Opening the door, Adam was immediately met with Seth sitting on the couch, annoyed expression turning into something akin to worry when he spotted Jonah, standing tall and walking over. “What happened?”

“I don’t fucking know, Nutcase.” Was all Adam responded with, bringing Jonah to the couch and sitting him down.

The wound on Jonah’s head had thankfully stopped bleeding, and Jonah was blinking carefully and slowly, a whine escaping his throat as Seth put a hand on his shoulder. “Jonah, what do you remember?”

“...rememmner…? …i… i dunno…!” 

“Hey, hey, it’s okay, it’s okay.. Let’s patch you up, okay kid? Just a quick checkup and we’ll see, ok?”

“...okey…. .”

“Good, good, Adam, get the first aid kit. Now.” Bristling at being told what to do, Adam begrudgingly followed the order, getting the first aid kit and returning.

Seth began to gently clean the wound on Jonah’s head, muttering something to himself in russian as Jonah whined at the sting. Wrapping up his head, Seth muttered something Adam could actually understand. “Is anything else hurting?”

“..mh… m’side… an m’ legg…” 

Seth proceeded to clean and wrap the injuries he found there, splinting Jonah’s leg when he realized it was broken. A broken fucking leg. What the hell had even happened??

Adam was broken out of his thoughts when Seth picked up the now sleeping Jonah in a bridal carry, taking him to their room and laying Jonah in his bed, pulling the covers over him.

Nutcase led him out of the room, and turned to him with a scared and furious expression. “What the fuck happened.”

[Oooooo adams in troubllleeeee]

OOOOOOOOOOOOO

GAH. THE GUYS-

#asks are neat #super cool fan stuff #tmc alternate au #words aren’t wording cause I just woke up (and I’m probably going back to sleep for a bit) #but GAH. the guys- #also yeah Seth’s pissed at Adam definitely- #Jonah….you have no idea how lucky you are-

[magentagalaxies]

hi @liliana-von-k, thanks for the follow! i have answered this question before but i love talking about kids in the hall and my "origin story" with them so i'm happy to tell it again (jsyk it will be a long post bc i always have to tell the full story bc i love it so much)

basically my parents have both been kith fans since the 90s, so even before i had seen any of the show itself there were certain kith quotes that were just part of my family's vocabulary. the first sketch i watched was "these are the daves i know" when i was like 8 years old and i became obsessed with that song. i watched a few other sketches/the first few episodes from season one but i didn't truly get into kith until after their documentary "comedy punks" was released

see, my mom is a big documentary person so she was like "oh hey there's a new kids in the hall documentary! do you want to watch it?" and i just kind of shrugged and was like sure i'll be in the room while it's on, probably working on my own stuff or scrolling on my phone. but like not even five minutes in i was hooked. while i'd always enjoyed kids in the hall's comedy, something about hearing the very personal histories of how the troupe came together and survived for all these years was so affecting. i think it was scott specifically that really signaled to me that this show was something special, and the part where bruce talked about comforting scott while he had cancer by telling him how the rest of the troupe would die first was so powerful. honestly no individual movie has changed my life more than comedy punks did specifically bc it gave me that push to get into kith and approached it from such a human perspective, which definitely informed my approach to the rest of their work and them as people. i remember watching comedy punks for the first time and getting this strange feeling i couldn't pin down yet that was like this is important, not just referring to the show or the troupe, but like this feeling that i had just crossed a turning point in my life, and i remember feeling this pull towards toronto which seemed frivolous at the time but has been so heavily solidified as i'm now planning to move there in just over a year.

so i bingewatched all of the kids in the hall tv show in summer 2022, as well as brain candy, death comes to town, the amazon season, etc. basically as much kith stuff as i could find. but i needed more. so i started getting into side projects, which brought me to "mouth congress" (a queer-punk band scott thompson and paul bellini had in the early 80s that they've recently started putting out new music with again). i found a youtube channel with a bunch of recent live performance clips of the band and each video had like less than 10 views. so since i didn't have anyone to infodump about kith with irl (aside from my very patient mother lol) i started commenting on every video, complimenting the performances and pretending i was talking to a friend, confident no one would actually see it

after 2 weeks of this, turns out someone did see it. PAUL BELLINI HIMSELF. this led to a whole back-and-forth which eventually ended up with him emailing me a copy of the unreleased mouth congress documentary, i emailed back asking if he'd be interested in meeting on zoom (since i am a queer comedy writer myself so both he and scott are my biggest comedy inspirations), and yeah bellini is a delightful person to talk to and we very quickly became friends. i ended up offering to run mouth congress's social media, which can be found on both tumblr and instagram as @mouthcongress and posts both vintage videos from the 80s/90s and recent live clips. they're currently working on an album of entirely new material written in the past 2 years which is going to be released soon (we don't have a specific release date but the recording is completed and they've started filming music videos for it!! but i'm getting ahead of myself lmao)

a few months pass and mouth congress is set to perform at a new year's eve show at a local club in toronto. i'd never been to toronto before, never even left the united states, but paul says it would be so great to have me there and by some miracle my parents say yes to making the trip (they still can't believe this is happening either, since they were kith fans first!). the trip is wonderful, i immediately fall in love with the city, i get lunch with paul irl for the first time and get to have my very first face-to-face conversation with my number one comedy inspiration scott thompson. it's honestly a little awkward but in an adorable funny way. i also have my first legal drink at that show (bc canadian drinking age is lower than the us), specifically saying i want to have my first drink with buddy cole, which both scott and paul are very into

it's actually only a couple weeks until i'm in toronto again, because scott is debuting a new buddy cole show consisting of monologues that were all censored by amazon that he pitched during the revival season. this is my first time traveling a long distance without my family which my mom is anxious about so paul bellini lets me have him as my emergency contact. the show is amazing, i get to stay for the afterparty, and while i'm there i casually mention that i'm surprised no one has made a buddy cole documentary yet. like, this character has such a rich history even beyond the kids in the hall (which i can infodump about all day lmao) and is such an important staple of queer comedy that doesn't get the attention he deserves. the kith documentary is great, but where's my buddy cole documentary? paul accepts my pitch (that i didn't even realize i was pitching), passes along the idea to scott, and yeah now i'm legit directing a film with my number one comedy heroes and i haven't even graduated college yet. what the fuck. i expected this to be the type of thing i accomplish over 20 years into my career, not at twenty!! so yeah that's how the buddy cole documentary started. i'm still in preproduction on it but we're launching an indiegogo crowdfunding campaign for it in the next 2 weeks bc this has evolved into a full feature-length film with some incredible celebrity interviewees, both kith and otherwise.

anyway a few months later it's announced bruce mcculloch is bringing his one-man-show to the city i go to school in. not only that, but his theater is literally 2 blocks from campus. i ask paul if he'd give me bruce's contact so i can set up an interview for my school's newspaper, paul gives me bruce's assistant's email, and i set up a 30-minute zoom two weeks before bruce will be in town. the conversation honestly goes bizarrely well. like it's honestly surreal how close bruce and i got after only knowing each other for a half hour? he's such an easy person to talk to and literally by the end of that conversation he was already calling himself my mentor, asking about my comedy, and offering to let me meet him backstage after his show. which is exactly what i did, launching yet another incredible friendship-slash-mentorship with one of the kids in the hall.

bruce eventually signed on to executive produce the buddy cole documentary (alongside paul bellini), i've been up to toronto in january, april, june, august, and october this year (so essentially every 2 months, though it was slightly offset by going twice in january) and i'm planning on going up in december, every time not only do i find time to meet up with scott, paul, and bruce but they all deliberately try to reserve as much "jess time" as they can because i have a unique and powerful friendship with each of them, every time i finish a new creative project paul has to see it bc he loves how ambitious i am, i repeatedly wake up to texts scott sends me at 3am about the documentary and how excited he is to have me on tour with him to film it next year, bruce thinks it's hilarious he used to think i was "shy" bc i've gotten so comfortable going on infodumps and tangents about things i'm passionate about, and the three of them all feel like extended family. best of all, i actually have plans to graduate from college a semester early so that i can use the money (and time) i've saved to find a place in toronto and start making even more connections with the comedy community up there (also for the record: no i have not met mark, kevin, or dave yet. i know kevin is aware of my existence from bruce giving me a shoutout at a show they both did but that's about it. but i know i will interview all of them for my documentary)

so anyway that's how i got into kids in the hall. i know only the first 2 paragraphs answer your question, but at this point my love for this show has become so so intertwined with my relationships to bruce and scott and paul as humans that i don't really consider getting into kids in the hall and getting to know the kids in the hall as separate things in my life.

(also if you have any follow-up questions on anything mentioned feel free to reply or dm me, this goes for everyone else too!)

#as always i hope talking about knowing some of the kith irl doesn't come across as bragging bc that's absolutely not my intention #bc i do very much feel like a very lucky kith tumblr nerd and my favorite thing is connecting the kith to this part of their audience #hosting little digital screenings of hard-to-find kith media or passing along questions etc #this is exemplified with my ''kids in the archive'' series which you should check out if you haven't already #but yeah this is a very (and i mean VERY) brief summary of how this all unfolded #bc like. yes this all kind of happened over a year and a half. but it was a very eventful year and a half #if you scroll far enough in some of my kith-related tags you can find posts from in-the-moment before i knew some of them #or when i was still coming up with the concept for the buddy cole doc or something like that #which is very interesting to see. this blog is like a living kith journal lmao #also: the bruce interview article was never written bc i actually lied about writing for the school paper lmaooo #but for the anniversary i might write a transcript and/or see if i can post the audio bc i did record it #i haven't relistened to it since the day (march 6th) so it'll be so cool going back and listening to myself being starstruck #compared to now where i see bruce as ''just some guy (complimentary)''

[aquagirl1978]

#yeah #you guys sent in that many pegging requests that i have enough to post one each wednesday #who is the lucky prince today?

[ellianasdeadpointeshoes]

Idc how long it takes you are all going to love ballet as much as I do.

#you guys are lucky im even sharing elisabeth with yall i like to gate keep #yeah i know you cant gatekeep someone whos already famous i know.

[tambourineophelia]

in addition to that, remember how i found out my ex has a kid through his whatsapp icon??

(the kicker is, i only looked at it because my fucking grandma told me on the phone: oh you know how i kept his number, because I always thought...* well looking at his new picture I might just delete it now...)

well at christmas i wanted to send myself some pictures i took with my mum's phone (with permission of course) and what do i see? she TEXTED HIM MERRY CHRISTMAS. we broke up over three years ago! ma'am this man didn't even send you a fucking condolence card when dad died! he does NOT get a merry christmas!!

so I told her that. she was a little snappy about it, which annoyed me because sorry, this is -my- old heart break, I'm not texting your exes either?? (or my ex's parents for that matter) but then! she said: but I DO wonder what kid he's holding there...

and I was like mum, what the heck, that's obviously HIS kid, what other child would that be

and she was SO CONFUSED. MOTHER! WHAT

#personal #sorry i had to share this it was SUCH an interaction #it's like she didn't realise that yeah just because her fail daughter's life didn't progress in any direction except uh downwards since 201 #doesn't mean it's like that for everyone else #maybe she understood a little better why i was so sensitive over her texting him #i ALSO had assumed my granny had already gossiped it all the way to her (i know she did to my brother) #but apparently she decided this was the moment for confidentiality?? #anyways what child looking JUST LIKE HIM could he POSSIBLY hold in his arm ON HIS WHATSAPP PROFILE that he hadn't changed in YEARS before #*i am also so tired of this 'well maybe you could get back together one day!!' that's always implicit in keeping their number #or texting them seasonal greetings... because a) he just fucking dumped me so like it's not like i had any choice in the matter back then #BUT i got over it and i want to be over it and i want it to be in the past #and b) it's kind of reminding me how back then everyone always congratulated me on how great he was (spoiler he wasn't lol) #which just made me feel like i was 'lucky' to get with a guy 'like that' when i am.... not like that you know #(my other grandmother is soooooo much worse with this she literally told me i will never find a man as good MA'AM YOU MET HIM ONCE) #and i would like people to i dunno believe in my loveability a little more #especially.......... my own mother............