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moderndaypandora · 1 year

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The LAYERS needed in a modern/human Dreamling au. Some level of Endless family dysfunction, obviously. Hob's family can be be dead or not, it's all good. Are they old enough to have individually gained the awareness they are off-puttingly intense and should hide it a bit at first, or still in that "no, why would I need to Elsa this" stage?

Option A is both of them trying to play it cool, like "don't scare him off" except they so badly want to go from zero to sixty.

(Death and Desire have ruthlessly drilled Dream with flashcards about how to react appropriately in situations.

Desire: it's your one-month anniversary, what do you do?

Dream: [hesitantly] NOT propose?

Desire and Death, conferring, because that's technically correct but the delivery was suspect.

Death, encouragingly: Good start. And? 

Dream: a nice dinner and maybe a walk?

Desire: well done!

Death: and for a three-month anniversary?

 Dream: give them a key to my flat.

Desire: [airhorn] NO. RED CARD.)

Option B makes them the classic anecdotal "my grandparents got engaged within seven days of meeting each other and still are happy together".

(Death, rubbing her temples: so you met this guy--

Dream: Hob

Death: -- Hob, and within 1 day you gave notice to the Registrar's Office and figured out the best day to get married. And Hob agreed to this?

Dream: NO.

Death: oh thank go-

Dream: Hob SUGGESTED this.

Death: . . .

Dream: are you going to be a witness or not?

Death, 29 days later in the Registrar's Office, to Hob's witness: Is he sane?

Johanna Constantine, drinking heavily from a large flask: unfortunately yes, by all legal definitions.

Death: fuck

Johanna: [passing the flask over] if your brother's even a tenth as intense as Hob, they'll be fine. Probably.

Death, brightening: Is Hob that bad? 

Johanna: You know how sometimes you meet somebody and think "oof, they're a bit much, best give them a wide berth"? 

Death: yeah.

Johanna: Hob's like a camouflaged hole in the ground of muchness. Except he's done the hole up all nice and he knows that sometimes you just want to be left alone in the hole to sulk and rattle the spikes for a bit, and occasionally get a F&M hamper tossed in.

Death: [hmmmmmmm'ing approvingly]

Johanna, morose: the bastard.

In the background, Hob and Dream are pressing their foreheads together and basking in each other's presence)

#dreamling #the sandman #it's underappreciated how many red flags hob probably is buried under his amiable exterior #he looked at dream of the endless and went 'yeah'#not even as a 'i can make him better'#very much as a 'i can vibe with his current state and frankly even if he was worse i'd still be like that's my husband [shrug emoji]'#'what am i supposed to do? i knew who he was when i married him'#everybody around them: [extremely done with their shit] STOP ENABLING HIM #hob: he's my goth sweetheart #dream's entire family: he's ten sulking cats in eyeliner and a dramatic coat #hob: i know :D i love him!#johanna constantine is like 'hob's insane'#and everybody's going 'oh no don't be so mean he's just a little boring next to dream'#johanna: he saw dream being dream and went 'i need to stamp my name on him. how do i permanently tie us together'#johanna: he'd never safety pin a condom but i can just see the gears turning in hob's head about how to get to spend more time with dream #johanna: just radiating smug contentment over his insane wet cat #hob: i cannot wait to spend the next 60 years with that man #hob: and ideally die in our sleep together still holding hands #death and johanna: [staring at him over their fourth round of drinks]#dream: [heart of eyes and pink of cheeks]#dream: we should never not be holding hands #hob: okay but what if occasionally we stop holding hands just to then appreciate the feeling of starting to hold hands again #dream: [mulling] acceptable #death and johanna could probably start an entire benefriends or actual romantic relationship entirely based on judging dreamling

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moonsvillain · 15 days

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have been toying with the idea of an au wherein shen jiu, after burning down the qiu household and running away, comes across xie lian rather than wu yanzi poaching him immediately afterwards:

i'd imagine in this verse he runs away to town rather than immediately being found in the aftermath of what he's done. at this point, shen jiu would be too paranoid to consider reaching out for directions to cang qiong mountain even if he wanted to make it there: what if they knew what he did? or figured it out if he did know? (if he even had the mind to think of these things through his panic)

he doesn't want to end up begging on the streets again, though—too alike his childhood and last time he was in that position, shen jiu ended up with the qius in the first place

so he takes refuge in temples that he comes across, stealing food when he can before moving to a different part of the rather large town he's ended up in so there's no clear pattern of when he shows up at whichever food stall

despite not holding that same respect and unwavering belief in gods (how could he, after everything he's gone through? shouldn't they have stepped in, sometime? what god would let him suffer as he did, separating him from the only person he loved?) he knows better than to try them, and begrudgingly thanks them for the shelter (because this he did appreciate, at the very least, if nothing else)

winter hits hard when it does, and shen jiu, after spending so many years in the qiu household, forgot how the cold seeps into your skin and bones without solid walls to keep out the frigid breeze.

he quickly falls ill with nothing to protect him from the elements but his threadbare clothing, and when he grows ill, he becomes slow. shen jiu nearly gets caught stealing, running away before he can be dragged to a town guard for his offence, but earning himself a nasty wound to his leg as he retreated

sickness + the cold + the wound leave him weak and wanting: missing qi-ge, reminiscing on nights where they'd curl up together for warmth, still cold but not alone, the two of them steady against the storm that raged on ahead of them

fever-ridden and teetering close to death, shen jiu wanders into a temple late at night and sinks to his knees, falling to his side, heart-rate slowing. in his delirium, he misses the figure taking shelter from the storm in the corner, watching him

shen jiu wakes up (he doesn't expect to), warm while he hears the wind whistle. he's still in that temple from earlier, but it's considerably... cozier. a small fire warms the inside and his clothes aren't as damp against his cold skin. his fever's broken, too—he doesn't know how long it's been, but he's glad he didn't die: never realized that he wanted to live until he was close to forfeiting his right to

here is where he meets his accidental saviour: xie lian stood over a slowly bubbling pot of stew that smells heavenly to shen jiu—he'd eat just about anything at this point, starved

his immediate distrust of xie lian stops him from being truly excited about his appearance

their relationship is veryyy shaky at the very beginning: shen jiu refuses to trust him and xie lian refuses to abandon this strange child he found on the verge of death

(there's a strange sort of bond built up when you nurse someone back to life, dragging them away from the brink of death and xie lian isn't interested, but he's curious about this kid who stumbled into his temple at the dead of night on a midnight in winter)

shen jiu's torn between distrust and this desire for company he didn't know he possessed; after being alone with no one but the qiu household [before he went on his massacre] he didn't realized how much he wanted to share space with someone who wasn't actively hurting him until he was afforded the opportunity to experience non-violent company with xie lian

his distrust slowly declines when he finds out that xie lian is a cultivator. despite being arguably too old to learn cultivation to the fullest extent he could have if he started a few years earlier, he still desperately wants to learn

xie lian, perceptive as ever, slowly starts teaching him bits and pieces of the basics, teaches him to meditate, takes care to keep his distance when it looks like shen jiu's getting overwhelmed

shen jiu can't help but get attached. he hates it

shen jiu decides to test xie lian before resigning himself to this

he was snappy, impatient, and argued with xie lian, when he came over, one day, waiting for some form of punishment to come, bristling like a spooked cat.

nothing came of his experiment but a slight frown from xie lian, which made shen jiu feel almost bad—xie lian almost reminded him of qi-ge, which made him feel doubly bad because he desperately wants to find him

shen jiu came to xie lian the next day with a pastry [that he stole] as an apology. and a request:

"teach me how to cultivate so i can be a disciple at the cang qiong sect"

xie lian agrees easily enough: he's been around shen jiu to see that despite the late start, he has potential to be great [especially untouched by wu yanzi and his twisted form of cultivation]

shen jiu throws himself into his studies, working himself to the bone

xie lian is concerned by this and after trying to soften the load of his work doesn't make shen jiu slow down, he becomes stern: warns him against trying to chase too much frivolously

this leads to a breakdown of sorts—where shen jiu gets angry, dismissive, before becoming upset. the average emotional depth of a teenager but, like, 4 times worse because of the circumstances

xie lian coaxes the story out of shen jiu here; qi-ge [the first time he's mentioned aloud by name], the qiu household [only the barest of details. shen jiu refuses to dwell], and the night shen jiu made qi-ge leave, as well as qi-ge's promise to come back

shen jiu finishes by telling xie lian he needs to make it back to qi-ge, needs to see if he's still alive, he's been selfish for sticking around as long

shen jiu tells xie lian that he needs to figure out as much as he can, as fast as he can, so he can leave and make his way to cang qiong mountain with some sort of base knowledge to make it in. and that he's not sorry for pushing himself because he doesn't have time

xie lian is quiet for a while

puts a comforting hand on shen jiu's shoulder and tells him he understands; he knows someone who would do anything to make it back to the one they loved, understands the pain that comes when time and distance separates the two

however, xie lian tells him, he can't let shen jiu push himself. he'll only stunt his progress by hurting himself rather than speed things up

shen jiu is ready to argue again before xie lian offers to make the trip with him

shen jiu doesn't believe it at first—who would bother with helping him for this long if they weren't getting anything out of it? he already found this hard to believe, let alone the fact that xie lian would drop everything to travel with him for weeks on end

xie lian doesn't shake in his resolve, though. shen jiu figures out he's being serious and wants to argue, but he's just—relieved

so many people have stood as roadblocks on his path back to qi-ge; xie lian might be the first person actively trying to help them

it almost reignites hope in him; someone other than him believes in them. someone other than shen jiu thinks they'll make it back to each other and succeed in reuniting. xie lian's faith in him is like a gust of wind beneath his wings

he agrees to their road trip

[xie lian makes sure to tell his beloved he'll be away for a while]

[shen jiu doesn't notice that xie lian buys steamed buns off the same stranger in nearly every town they stop by for a night of rest in the following few weeks]

[xie lian notices, years later, when shen qingqiu doesn't recognize him upon their first meeting in decades. shen yuan doesn't know xie lian, but xie lian knows this isn't shen jiu, anymore]

#i've had this idea in my head for a few months now #only just finding the time to write everything out #i'll write this on ao3 eventually! trust me i will i promise just need to defeat exams first #hua cheng stalking xie lian w a forced smile on his face: who the hell is this fraud and why is he stealing my husbands attention #xie lian with a happy lil smile: theyre just like us san lang he's learning cultivation to find and protect his beloved isnt it so wonderfu #hua cheng letting go of the steamed bun smushed to pieces in his hand: ah yeah sounds great. sooo cute gege. come home soon. Please. ^_^#xie lian meeting shen jiu: what a lovely young man #shen jiu half feral and armed with the worst attitude known to man: who the hell is this fraud #svsss #tgcf #mxtx #shen jiu #shen qingqiu #xie lian #hua cheng #svsss au #svsss fanfiction #scum villain #scum villain self saving system #the scum villain's self saving system #heaven official's blessing

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lavenoon · 11 months

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@naffeclipse I have nothing to say for myself, looming Eclipse got away from me

*self insert is not a girl (he/she)

og detective au by sunnys-aesthetic!

#post let luce #dcamv #sleuth jesters #me yesterday: yeah im not really simp yet but getting there; who knows when #me today in my simp hat: hi #police chief had his “this mf is nearly 10ft tall” shenanigans #now it's the bounty hunter's turn #this is SO SO SO self indulgent #if I had a shred of shame left I wouldn't post this #hhh abt having to add the disclaimer in the caption but I've been cis-ified in tags one time too often /lh #so gotta have smth ppl who dont follow me see also #anyways yes. have him. please take him off my hands this man is NOT paying rent in my head---#my art #bloodstain fool #menace4menace

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brookheimer · 1 year

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looking at the 'midseason trailer' and seeing roman fighting his siblings, roman shitting on gerri, roman working for fascists, roman walking proudly through ATN like logan did just two days prior... it's not surprising, but it is fucking sad.

logan's death will not free roman. instead, it will reforge the chains he's worn all his life, casting them in iron -- that's what roman deserves for thinking, for the first time in his life, that maybe he wants the chains off. that's what roman deserves for killing his father by not loving him enough, by not loving him correctly or at the right times. logan's death will not free roman at all. if anything, it will imprison him.

(as always, this got very long, so keep reading under the cut!)

this was the worst case scenario for roman. not just logan dying, but the exact way everything played out. he betrayed his siblings, he fired gerri -- for nothing. he could have been on the plane with his father in his last moments -- he refused. his last interaction with his father was leaving logan a voice message that called him a cunt -- the first time roman has ever, ever, questioned or stood up to his father, and also the last. we don't know what killed logan. we probably never will. but god if it won't feel awfully coincidental to roman: the one time he fought back against his father or even showed the slightest hint of doing so, his father died. is it likely that logan heard roman's voice memo and keeled over because he called him a cunt? no. but is it just as possible as anything else? entirely. roman might have killed his dad. roman murdered logan when he could've been on the plane with him holding his hand, if he were a good son. he didn't even tell logan he loved him. not that he needed to, it fucking oozed from his every pore and the desperate nature of that love was one of the reasons logan could never quite stand him -- but that's not the point. roman's one attempt at agency, at setting boundaries, at standing up for himself killed his fucking father.

logan dying would never have been good for roman, at least in his current state, no matter how the actual death came to pass. people often talk about abusive relationships as if the end-all-be-all fixer to abuse is independence, and it's not. independence isn't always enough to heal, especially not when it's forced upon you rather than something you choose. this is especially true for roman, i think. what roman needed was not just to gain his own independence, but to realize that independence and love are not mutually exclusive, that gaining one does not mean losing the other. logan's always hammered in roman's weakness, his wrongness; roman was never someone who deserved to be loved on his own terms. roman's never considered himself to be someone with agency and authority in his relationships -- he's been told over and over again that he isn't a real person, that there's something deeply wrong and unfixable in him, and he believes it. he's never set boundaries with his father or even his siblings because i don't think he really realizes he has the power to do that. he's simply there until people decide they no longer have use for him or want him around, and he'll always come crawling back after a kick because he doesn't realize he's not on a leash -- that he doesn't need to be on a leash. independence has been unreachable all his life, he isn't normal or real enough to be a real normal independent capable person, but if he grovels and shows his use enough, then maybe he can be loved. but his dependence and loyalty is all he's good for. independence means no love, no family, no relationships. and roman desperately wants, needs, those relationships in a way that none of the other characters do (or at least can admit to) -- he wants his father in his life, no matter what; he wants his siblings in his life, no matter what. but independence, being his own person, separating himself from logan's side means he'd lose everything else, everyone else. he's not good for anything anyways. it's not like he has other options.

...until the start of season four. that's why this is all so tragic -- more than anyone else, it seemed like roman was on the road to healing. it seemed like he was finally realizing that independence and love might not be as mutually exclusive as he's been made to think: maybe he could be independent while still having a relationship with his siblings and even his father. maybe he could have his cake and eat it too. he's realized that he's capable, that he has his own worth, and that he can be successful without living under logan's thumb -- and, more importantly, could still text him on his birthday and try to rebuild a relationship, this time outside of business. outside of "that room" in waystar royco. an actual fucking family relationship. that's what escaping the cycle would look like for roman — not complete separation, not a metaphorical killing of his father, but the ability to live alongside him, to have a life outside of him, to love his father without living for him. so simply removing logan from the equation wouldn’t help roman, not when what he needs most is to realize that self-respect is not mutually exclusive with love, that being your own person isn’t a betrayal, that family and love aren’t dependent on how low you can kneel and won’t be whisked away the moment you stand up. and for the first time in his life, it seemed like he was on track to discovering this. maybe he and the siblings could have the hundred, logan could keep going with atn, and in a few years down the line they'd all get together to talk shop and joke around and coexist -- for the first time, he had started to think of himself as enough of a real, okay person to be allowed to coexist with his family, rather than naturally subordinating himself in every interaction.

roman could’ve been his own person, could’ve escaped the cycle, could’ve started a business with his siblings and tried to heal, but now he won’t. he can’t. roman can’t become his own person now, not when his first attempt to do so is exactly what killed logan. it’s his fault. he fucked up and now there’s no dad. he gained his independence, but at what cost? love. that’s the cost. it always has been and always will be. nothing could be more detrimental to roman roy than the exact series of events that occurred in this episode, because just as he started to see a world beyond his father, logan dies -- proving once and for all that the only world beyond logan is one without him in it at all. that’s been roman’s fear all along and why he’s stuck so close to his side: roman loves and loves and loves and is terrified, terrified, of death. of loss. but in a moment of 'weakness,' roman wobbled (he tried to stand up to logan rather than just taking the kicks as he's supposed to, as he always has), and his father paid the ultimate price. there’s no more dad. there’s no reviving him.

…unless, of course, there is. unless roman can undo his error by choosing his father again, and again, and again. becoming logan is the closest roman can get to resurrecting him, after all. and besides, doesn’t he owe it to dad after killing him? after calling him a cunt, choosing not to be with him on that plane he ended up dying on? after forgetting to even say “i love you dad” before the end? roman needs to fix things. needs to make it like dad's still here. needs to make it like he didn't kill his own father by refusing him for the first time in his life. so roman will be the firebreather logan wanted -- he'll do ATN, he'll push for mencken, he'll do whatever it fucking takes to try and make things right. if it's his fault logan's no longer here, then he needs to do everything he possibly can to fulfill his dying wishes, to do what logan would've done, were he alive.

"dad can't die, he's dad." he can't ever die. he's immortal, and his immortality was solidified by the circumstances of his death -- logan will not die. he’ll live on in roman, as roman.

roman will make sure of it.

#to clarify -- i do not think this is roman's endgame. i Hope it is not his endgame. i just think based on the previews and everything we #know about both him and the upcoming episodes... i think this is where his arc is heading for now. and it will be UNBEARABLE to watch #i'm hoping things get better by the end. that there's reconciliation and an ending open enough to allow for a slim possibility of future #healing. but as of right now... i think things are going to get a lot - a LOT - fucking worse before they get better (if they get better..)#k it's 1:30 am i haven't read over this at all so fair warning there. but yeah. told yall i had a lot of thoughts re: what this might do to #roman. hats off to jesse armstrong for creating the literal worst situation imaginable for him. fucking ingenious. i too love putting this #sad little man in situations! but yeah. gonna be watching thru my hands but eating it up while weeping etc etc etc #succession #succession spoilers #roman roy #succession meta #succession s4 #connor's wedding #logan roy #casey shut the fuck up about roman roy #100 #500 #succession speculation

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andy-clutterbuck · 9 months

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9x04 | The Obliged

#Papa Bear 🐻💖#Rick Grimes #*#rg #S9 #HELLO MY GORGEOUS OLD MAN #💕 fuzzy daddy 💕#still want to rub his head like it's a crystal ball and i'm a cheap ass fortune teller at a county fair #look at his beautiful rectangle head #SANTA FACE #his open collar would a nice place to rest your face #im just sayin #just hang out there and have a think #steal his heat listen to that drawl in your ear #god i will truly never be over this look #when you put your hands on both sides of a cat's face and scratch? yeah #that face is the actual iron throne #i'll start the war to sit there ⚔

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itoshi-s · 1 year

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iwa getting you all stretched out for his cock :( sniffle pls he’s so grabby, his pinky edging towards your ass i’m a mess

😦😦😦😦😦😦 RIVER- ASIFHSLJKAS ?????? EXCUSE ME ... I AM UNWELL AAJASJJAJAJA

it IS so iwa coded though. big and rough hands roaming everywhere - not leaving an inch untouched :( did u see the way he grabbed at her tits.... yeah...... feeling you all up gets him so ridiculously hard. feeling you up as your chest heaves and tummy tightens under his palm :( the feeling's almost as good as the sight of you squirming and glancing up at him with the widest, neediest eyes he's ever seen on you - gets him burning up, flushed all the way up to the tip of his ears and breathing so heavy :( !!

probably wants to keep eye contact with you as he messes you up - but it's so hard, he wants to take all of u in, all at once. his fingers are so thick, two are just enough to get you soaking and all nice n ready. and yet, he teases at your ass with his pinky, just almost dipping past the muscle as you whine and grab at his forearm. it's all too much and he knows. he's always too much for you with how intense he gets - but you always end up taking him so well anyways. this time will be no different :(

#✧.* lovelies (ﾉ´ з `) / (river)#cw visuals #✩ iwa.thirsts #iwaizumi smut #hq smut #iwaizumi hajime smut #LMAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO RIVER if u could only see the face i made seeing this #hand over my mouth eyes wide 😭😭#i'm .. i'm a mess...... pls akfhak SHE'S PURRING #😀😀😀#did u see the guys forearm as well. THAT'S IWA.. I .. I CANNOT #pls i bet he's a grunter too .. does this thing where he doesnt even realize he's breathing all heavy and groaning under his breath #is so focused on you n seeing you in so much pleasure he goes all “yeah? feels good? mm. i know. i know it does.”#gets sooooo intense watching you it's just. the hottest thing ever !! </3 #NGHHHHHHHHHHHH I AM UNWELL !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! SICK IN THE HEAD FOR THIS MAN !!!!!!!!!!!!#★ ‧ ₊ after hours #iwa my dearest

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skrunksthatwunk · 3 months

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look i know dethklok is a quaint little menagerie of dudes with mad parental baggage (minus nathan he's in the control group) and that the fandom also gravitates towards those conflicts and themes and stuff because fuckin duh obviously but like. well. um. does anyone else get just like.. Absurdly emotional at murderface calling skwisgaar his strong and brave little soldier or is that just my particular brain poison

#ow. (plays it again) ow. (plays it again) ow. (plays it again)#mtl #metalocalypse #dethklok #william murderface #skwisgaar skwigelf #like damn. wish someone talked like that to me when i was a kid. how'd he even learn to do that no one even taught him or anything #like yeah i think some of his desire to take this role is because he wants to be important to someone (and also wants respect) and being a #father figure is a way of achieving that. it's not 100% about banging skwis' mom it's about validation and interpersonal connection #but he (on a whim!) was more tender with skwis than. well. my parents ever were even when they were trying.#sigh #looping pickles daddy issues comp like a very very well adjusted adult. look the vulnerability in his voice really gets to me ok #it's about my love for voice acting i swear (<- not even trying to convince you + head in my hands)#nyarla dni #shit's embarrassing sorry man

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vasito-de-leche · 4 months

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okay I read your analysis on Forget Me Not and I'm in tears now thank you. (No but really thank you, it's such a touching piece.) Can you PLEASE for salvation of our fans souls write anything to like,,, give him hope? Forget Me Not x reader but it doesn't have to be actually all-out with hugs and kisses. We may,,,,,,,, just show him a new hobby? Any hobby of your choosing or idk play an instrument together. Just to give him something else to focus on, to channel at least part of his energy from self-destructive activities to something less hurtful. I'd personally like to bandage his (not actually wounded but still) hands as if they were bleeding. Something of the kind. Sorry for mistakes writing is incredibly inconvenient cuz tears aaa.

;R1999 FORGET ME NOT - "hands, fingers, scales"

Forget Me Not x Reader. 2.3k words. self-harm implied You've befriended Forget Me Not the same one befriends a rabid, beaten, old dog. And while he's much too busy fighting his inner demons, you're more worried about stopping these "pernicious habits" of his. A casual afternoon trying to make sure he's taking care of himself turns into something deeper.

thank you so much for the ask, nonnie!!

I got a little carried away with this request because thinking about how fucking insufferable and confusing FMN has to be just to indulge in HAND HOLDING and GETTING A FUCKING HOBBY made me so deranged and feral as if hes not fucking TOUCHSTARVED lmfao. this guy's love language is straight up worshipping, mf is not subtle about it

either way, hope you like it! here's the lil preview!

Sometimes, Forget Me Not understands the reason men and women kneel at the pew to worship and pray.

Devotion is something arcanists and humans share, whether honest or not. He's witnessed the rich and the poor, the pure and the depraved, and every binary that rules this world - all of them begging, pleading and praying at the end of their lives, casting away the pride they've held on for so long for the chance of salvation. Once stripped down to their core, there is nothing to do but hope God has enough love in His heart to look their way.

And sometimes, Forget Me Not prays that you’ll find someone else - anyone but him - to fill the role of devotee.

The gentleness in your eyes whenever you look at him is enough to bring him to his knees, and Forget Me Not doesn't know what to do with himself but to worship and pray. Praying that you'll continue to look at him for a little longer, silently begging for your attention until you finally tire of him. Do you think yourself holy enough to replace the vitriol in his veins?

He does.

On good days, he even hopes that you can save him.

You never asked him to become your one and only believer, of course. You're not even aware of the space you take in his mind, nor the conflicting images he keeps conjuring of you at night, he's certain of this. Otherwise, you wouldn't be here, holding his hands and inspecting them for any injuries. This role is one of the many self-imposed tragedies in his life.

Your thumbs knead and massage his palm, as if you could soothe the pain away, and yet you refrain from pressing down hard. He's at your mercy, why hesitate? What do you see that he cannot?

Something is bothering you. It's obvious in the way you touch him, like you're afraid of hurting him, as if you were the one with a body count between the two. Every so often, your movements come to a halt and you both sit in silence, until you return to your ministrations, filling the nothingness with your sighing and humming.

All he needs is to look up, right at your face, to know everything he wants to know - but he's too much of a coward for that. Instead, light grey eyes follow your index finger as it slides under the cuffs of his shirt. You trace over the bone of his wrist and continue upwards.

He can't tear his eyes away.

Normally, Forget Me Not wouldn't mind. There is an addictive thrill to witnessing the shock of anyone who dares get so close and personal, but he feels himself shrink when you brush against his scales and recoil away on instinct. That's when he raises his head and finds your eyes in the dimly lit staff room.

That expression on your face - surely, you were regretting every choice that led you to him. By now, you might've surely realized that there is nothing for you to salvage in this shipwreck he calls a life. All attempts to check on him were surely a façade for whatever ulterior motives you continued to withhold from him. He's stubborn, believing that he can read you like an open book, but now he's just as lost as you are. When he opens his mouth to speak, you beat him to it and he grows a little restless at your words.

"Sorry, sorry! Did I, uh, hurt you? Dumb question, you would've definitely told me if that were the case. Anyway, it looks like you're okay! I don't know why I was so worried, actually."

His silence prompts you to continue, and all Forget Me Not can focus on is the absence of your warmth.

You raise a hand to gesture dismissively at your behaviour, brush it off to ease your embarrassment, that much he understands - though it's painful to watch you fumble like that, to deny what he hides under his clothes. Forget Me Not thinks of filling the space between your fingers with his own, just to drag you back to that quiet, albeit suffocating, moment of peace. Instead of doing that, he retreats and places both hands neatly on his lap.

"Thanks for indulging me and, yeah uh, again - sorry about that? It just caught me off guard. I should've been more careful."

But you were never careful with his space or his rules, plunging in and out of his life and leaving him to figure out where he stood in his game of push and pull. Why were you being careful now?

"It's nothing, I understand," he lies. Everything you do means the world to him and he doesn't even understand why. "It cannot hurt to know what sort of things the person pouring your drinks might be hiding under their sleeves."

The word "hypocrite" lingers at the tip of his tongue, threatening to spill out with as much venom as he can muster, but it stays lodged behind his teeth because he knows he's even worse: Forget Me Not prays that you'll stay with him, while also opening the door right out his life for you. As much as he wants to, he has no right of calling you out.

He's not used to receiving apologies and so he chooses not to think too hard on yours - though he's dreamed countless of times for the perfect situation in which he finally rips out one apology after another from the throats of those who wronged him, this one feels different. Undeserved, even.

His heart, that wretched lump in his chest, finally settles down and he prepares to end this interaction to save you the awkwardness of addressing his "deformities". But then you go and surprise him once more.

"Come on, I already told you..." You sigh and he inhales in tandem, but you're much too busy rolling your eyes to notice. "That whole thing you do, when you start scratching or, like, picking at your hand? You've been doing it more lately. It had me worried you might've been doing, I don't know - something."

Forget Me Not's eyes widen in surprise. The audacity to notice such things about him? And to put them on display without a warning? What else did you find out?

Part of him wants him to embrace his nature and scare you away, but that's the side of him that's been slowly losing this battle of attrition in his heart - you're a bad influence for him, after all. The other part... Well, it's still trying to sort itself out.

He settles for slowly undoing the buttons on his sleeve. It only takes a moment to roll up the fine fabric to his elbow, knowing you're staring right at him, through him maybe. The expression on his face is one of indifference, one he fights to maintain - this is the most vulnerable he's felt in decades.

That unsightly pattern begins exactly where his sleeves usually end, coiling around his forearm not unlike a snake and traveling upwards. The scales are dark, an iridescent black that reminds him of an oil spill in the middle of the ocean, and the ones at the edges fade away into lighter hues until they mix with the pale, sickly tone of his skin. He knows the sort of beauty he holds, one that can only be admired at a distance, turning into a grotesque imitation of a man when up close.

Forget Me Not presents himself to you and, with his free hand, gets ready to pluck one of the scales off.

"Wait, don't do that-!"

Seizing his arm and holding it close to your chest, you deprive him of the catharsis that comes with this level of self-mutilation. He knows you're connecting the dots, feeling the scattered, empty spaces from all the times you saw him pick himself apart and more. Your fingers brush against his bare skin looking for said spaces, counting them in your head, mourning their loss.

Some scales are in the process of regrowing like unwanted parasites, and he wishes he could feel anything at all just to be closer to you.

"God, what is wrong with you?! What was the point of that?"

Something compels him to laugh (perhaps it's your heartbeat reaching out to him loud and clear through your clothes, he feels it faintly) it comes across as sinister and condescending, the only way he knows how to express joy. Like he's making fun of your concern.

"Apologies," Forget Me Not begins to say, readjusting his glasses. The way you try to keep his own arm out of his reach doesn't go unnoticed. It's such a petty, childish gesture that makes his grin widen and your frown deepen. "I was under the impression you found this little oddity distasteful. There's no need to worry - they will return in a few days, they always do."

"Still, don't do that. It's not funny. It must...hurt a lot."

"Ah, but it doesn't. If else, I'd compare it to being pricked by a very small needle."

"You're just going to find something to nitpick and contradict everything I say, aren't you?" It's the least he can do to repay all the headaches you've given him, and for forgiving his transgressions too easily.

An intrusive thought makes itself known from the depths of his mind - would you forgive him just as readily if he were to kill someone in front of you? If he showed you just how destructive his arcane skills could be when given free reign? Where would you draw the line? And how much could he continue to push his luck before he lost you?

Before Forget Me Not realizes it, you've loosened your grip on his arm and returned to that previous moment of suffocating peace - the only difference is that you've gone from being deep in thought to troubled and miserable, one hair away from darting out the room and refusing to speak to him. At this, his pinky finger wraps around yours and neither of you mention it.

"Can't you... I don't know, do something else?"

"I could be doing my job, but alas, you're keeping me prisoner here." He says, like he's not delighted to be given your undivided attention. There are no complaints when you step on his foot with a huff, he deserved that one.

"I'm talking about the scales thing! You could wear gloves. If it happens when you get distracted then, I could hang around to make sure you stop in time." A pause, and then the sound of your voice becomes unsure and so very small. "Maybe if we covered them with bandages...? But that could be annoying. Band aids? No, no - too unprofessional. It would ruin the whole aesthetic you're going for."

You continue to trail off, coming up with many different ideas and solutions to a problem he caused. He doesn't understand why you'd even bother in the first place. For you to reciprocate the attention he gives you, to care about him? That's the hardest pill Forget Me Not has ever swallowed - it's something he twirls around with his tongue, as if deciding whether to poison himself with bliss or spit it out and continue latching on to his doubts and insecurities.

Outside, in front of everyone at The Walden, he's the one leading the crowd and talking for hours on end, commanding their attention and manipulating the flow of every conversation.

Behind closed doors, all he does is listen to every nonsensical thought, unnecessary opinion and strange anecdote you throw at him.

"...No, that won't work either." Absentmindedly, you fix and button his sleeve back into place.

You've grown used to his silence the same way you've adapted and grown used to his flaws.

"I mean, it worked on me - getting a little slap on the wrist whenever I started biting my nails, but..." Without even thinking, you rub circles with your thumb across his knuckles.

You might as well be the stupidest angel in heaven.

"Why don't you just get a hobby? That's good enough, right? It's been so long since I've heard you play piano, the one by the stage." And just like that, you're on your feet attempting to drag him outside for a demonstration. "You could teach me! That way, we get to do something fun and I get to keep an eye on you."

Forget Me Not knows he has nothing to offer to this world, but when his saint looks at him with such hope, he cannot refuse. The path to recovery seems almost doable when you bump your shoulder into his, challenging him to play the hardest song he knows.

The stars in your eyes whenever you recognize all the songs he plays becomes intoxicating, more so than the sweet, sweet revenge he's yearned for since he spiraled into decadence.

Some days, his patrons join with their own singing or humming, and he forgets that he hates each and every one of them for as long as his fingers dance across the keys - a momentary reprieve from the constant stream of negativity. It doesn't take long for his body to remember his training and soon, he's improvising.

A melody for gloomy, rainy days. A whimsical tune here and there for celebrations.

A song for you and himself - the first one he teaches you and the only one he plays in private, when he's all alone with nothing but his thoughts. Solitude has gone from a noose wrapped around his neck to the perfect time to compose and hone this long forgotten passion. For the first time in forever, he doesn't dread the silence of an empty room, the endless wait between his shifts at The Walden - not when he can simply fill them with more and more music.

And so, Forget Me Not plays, hoping that you'll continue to cheer him on. Hoping that this tiny spark you've ignited in him can truly become his salvation.

#reverse 1999 #reverse: 1999 #r1999 #reverse 1999 x reader #reverse 1999 fanfic #reverse 1999 forget me not #forget me not #outing myself as a huge fuckin religion/devotion as a metaphor for relationships freak #and as a hand freak as well. love it when the smallest acts of intimacy are the BIGGEST FUCKING DEALS for characters who are touchstarved #i love writing reader inserts from the pov of the character instead of the reader like #what goes in their head and shit??? THE INNER MONOLOGUES AND DRAMA ?????#FORGET ME NOT'S WHOLE ACT IS A COVER FOR THE FUCKING MESS HE IS WHEN YOU LOOK AT HIMMMMM!!!!!!!#soggiest wettest most pathetic man at manus vindictae #i hope i got his whole fuckin two faced and contradicting mentality across. mf is not having a good time healing but my GOD hes. trying #he hates you but he loves you but god he hates you so much but yeah he'll still worship the ground you walk on #the title is a pun btw. scales. musical scales. his snake scales #IM VERY SMART

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moeblob · 26 days

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Deacon loves two things: Ymber and digging himself a grave.

Fulj hates one thing: Deacon.

#my characters #waiting on some info on the next commission so i indulged in ocs today bc i doubt i will have as much time for lil comics for a bit #deacon is so devoted hes like yeah i would kill for a deity that could easily kill anything himself but yknow teehee #and fulj just did you tell him you needed therapy also does he even know youd murder in his name #deacon caught red handed haha no of course i havent told him it should be obvious enough haha.... and its in his defense not his name :c #man really does have some issues but i love him so much and hes so devoted but like. unhealthily after a while #he does in fact need a chill pill and therapy but to be fair #ymber has needed therapy for centuries and yet he just bottles it all up and suffers so #its pretty unhealthy until they yell at each other one (1) time bc they are so insecure about things and get mad over very valid reasons #but then theyre like you know what that was necessary and i still want to stay by your side if you let me #and then fulj is like dude hey sorry you seem really happy did you fu- and ymber is like no please stop there we have not #fulj just squinting cause have not is very different than will not but whatever she doesnt wanna think about that with deacon involved ew #and eventually fulj is like hey ymber im sorry to say but i really do hate deacon and i dont even know why but he makes me uncomfortable #while deacon is just. in the room. hearing this and thinking how he knows she thinks hes weird but wow that wording hurts #and ymber doesnt wanna fill in memories better forgotten by fulj which she had forcefully removed #so he just says oh well his hair and clothing are black and you had someone in the past that you might see in him and its not a pleasant en #so you know maybe its that idk #and fulj is then WHATST i was rude to him for someone i cant even remember? lame im gonna try SO HARD to be nice to him now #and deacon just still sitting there with some food like this is v awkward and i wish i could not be here for it #and later he asks ymber about who he resembled and as ymber is descibing her it clicks in deacons head and he gets really sad #that he might somehow remind fulj of the woman she loved before she was punished for loving a mortal #and he feels kinda bad pestering her so much with his curiosities about deities and he kinda gets it #the fact hes close to ymber might remind her at the core that she was once that close with a mortal if not closer #anyway story time in the tags again #im so obsessed with these peeps and i have made them suffer so much but they do all end on a happy note #its still funny and nice to me that while fulj is creeped out by deacon and doesnt like talking to him #he still expresses the most emotions to her - he tries hard to remain serious around ymber and collected and obedient at all times #and when out and about with ymber he has to be intimidating and refuses smiling but fulj?? all sunshine and smiles and emotions easy to rea #and she is just that is so weird go away i hate you

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lagim · 11 months

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“Come on and kill me. I do not care who kills who.”

#i do apologize for using old man and the sea excerpts on this i just do not have much poetry for these two off the top of my head #but yeah i needed to use my hands while i listened to cleopatra and frankenstein and so i made these #they are kinda meh i know #six of crows #kanej #kanejedit #kanejdaily #kaz brekker #inej ghafa #kaz x inej #soc #shadow and bone

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taruruchi · 4 months

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"You two are dancing in a snowglobe 'round and 'round"

i finished this within half a day. and that's not usually possible for me. kinda insane ngl

#i'm worried for myself #anyway christmas eve was pretty good :D #deli if you're reading this. this is part of what i was talking about!!#MAN I WAS PLANNING TO MAKE THE HEIGHT DIFF ACCURATE #but it's okay. at least forehead kiss height <3 #i am. not good with backgrounds.#if i look at the drawing longer i will start going crazy #so let's talk about what was going through my head #..... that exact lyric. dancing during winter #i cannot explain how much i struggled with the hands #OH WHILE THINKING OF DRAWING THIS I ALSO THOUGHT...#'AND THERE WE ARE AGAIN IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT. WE'RE DANCING ROUND THE KITCHEN IN THE REFRIGERATOR LIGHT'#not as accurate but it's still dancing yk #have you noticed that i have not rendered recently.#yeah. yeah if i rendered i'd take at least a week longer #they should ki— *gets dragged away*#the winter and holiday season is making me get too soft #too many fluffy ideas.#dude no the other day i even wrote something. it was short but i wrote!!#wait... I WROTE TWICE WHOAAA #can you tell i haven't written in a while #on an unrelated note i played christmas evel AND RIGHT WHEN IT WAS 12. FELIX SAID FELIZ NAVIDAD!!!!#i have a recording i'm so proud #anyway yeah i think that's it. ignoring some miiiinor stuff i really like this drawing #☆ taruchi's drawings 🖌#☆ 💙#twisted wonderland #azul ashengrotto #twst oc

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lucky-slice · 1 month

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The only headcanon I actually care about -and like i am not fucking around here - is trans!Allison

I have thought about this everyday for two years

#allison reynolds #its actually canon in my head #like i read aftg with understanding that allison is a trans girl #im sorry but it just makes so much sense to me #i would die on this hill #you could tell me anyother hc and id be like sure yeah whatever makes you happy man #but if you tell me allison is cis....#im throwing hands #gnat be quiet

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seventeendeer · 5 months

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you're so right on that bronies post...like...thats such an interesting thing to think about but its so true

I know, right ?? sexism in fandom is so rampant, with the number 1 leading shitty trend currently being female characters being overlooked/sidelined/simply ignored in favor of male characters with the exact same traits - especially the unwillingness to develop under-utilized female characters the way under-utilized male ones are

meanwhile bronies in 2012 were not only INTENSELY invested in developing mlp's female main cast, they also extended that same hype to practically every other female character that got more than a second's screentime on the show. the common joke about bronies is that they were all a bunch of weirdo basement-dwelling perverts (and yeah, some of them were, in more or less harmless ways), but I dare say the MAJORITY of brony fandom content was like. massive genre-defying fanfictions. dozens upon dozens of entire albums' worth of songs of every genre. super-detailed crossovers with other media. character analysis! piles upon piles of femslash written with incredible detail and care! art, craft projects, a bunch of genuinely cool shit, all centered on girl characters who other fandoms wouldn't have given a shit about!

like, again, I'm not saying the brony fandom was Cool, Actually (I think the whole phenomenon was layered and complicated, and I don't think I'm the right person to decide if it was a net positive or not), but I AM saying that there was something really, really interesting going on gender-wise over there and I wish someone smarter than me would talk about it without either airbrushing out the issues or being demonstratively disdainful about it out of fear of being deemed a Pevert Apologist (bad) or Cringe (worse)

#asktheherd #i randomly stumbled on a several-part music anthology on youtube today depicting an AU where one of the little ponies was #secretly a robot built for war living in hiding who just wanted to be a normal kid. like yeah you know what bronies why not. why not #puts head in hands. why can't other fandoms do this to their boring woman characters. just make some shit up man idk have fun w it. just tr #i know this goes against my usual snarky takes about fandom ignoring canon but there's nuance ok just trust me on this 1

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redbootsindoriath · 2 years

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It’s June 12! Happy International Don’t Stab Your Best Friend Day! This deserves an off-schedule special post. I was initially thinking of drawing something with Beleg and Túrin again because that would be the most logical choice, but I thought: what if I didn’t...what if I drew a different human-befriending elf who of course would have heard the story...and wonder...

And yes this was of course inspired by that one post I can’t find right now that talks about Legolas poking Aragorn with a stick from across the campsite to wake him up, just in case.

Transcription:

[Aragorn:] “RRAGH!” [Legolas:] “Oh my gosh my dad was right, humans really are out ... I thought we were friends but you tried to kill me, why ... elves to be friends with humans, every time the elf gets killed, how are we suppo ... never ... to wake you up and you tried to kill me to death ...” [Aragorn:] “Legolas please calm down. ... Legolas wait. ... Legolas that only happened like one time in history.”

#aragorn #legolas #the man the myth the legends #one shiny #my trash #is this actually funny or am i just tired #i'm sorry professor tolkien #heck yeah bromance #beleg and túrin 2.0 #/end classification tags #i might draw beleg and túrin in the next post because they're the duo that the holiday was made for so it would only be fair #but this idea sounded so funny in my head #and i thought why not #also i dunno if anyone else has notices this but like #the detail i give hands i draw has been getting so much lazier over the past year or so #rip all the hours i've spent drawing hands in as much correct detail as i can #it's all for naught #these boneless noodle hands are my life now i guess

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fourteenthz · 2 days

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I got tagged by @impossible-rat-babies tysm owen!! God you’re so good at poetic description. when will it be my time to be that good!!

So yeah, this one got away from me and I spent the entire day thinking about some of those even though I had a pretty clear idea on the answer already, but I always struggle a bit. She’s so not me I always have to stop and ask myself “would she say that or would I say that?” but I think I got it. anyway. please perceive my most special girl.

— B A S I C S

name: thesa

nicknames: estinien called her “thes” once, she almost killed him and he hasn’t stopped ever since.

age: 80~ (aragorn age coded)

nameday: 22 sun of the 5th astral moon (9/21)

race: viera / rava

gender: female

orientation: only had male partners but I don’t think she cares tbh

profession: adventurer!

— P H Y S I C A L A S P E C T

hair: grey-ish/white with pitch black ends. pretty thick and mostly unkept tbh.

eyes: darker grey, so shiny tho……..

skin: brown, with warm undertone and some darker patches/spots, especially on her face.

tattoos: going for parts here so first, the tattos. back in her forest days she didn’t like the whole “permanent” thing so she usually painted her marks everyday. as soon as she leaves, she decides to get a tattoo on her back, along her spine. white and with the clan/family marks. after shb she adds the azem symbol to it.

scars: multiple. getting my sketchbook to list you the relevant lol. a bunch of tinier ones from wood days and a claw one on her forearm from her chocobo (rael) when she first got him, burnt/lightining scar on her thigh from thanjit/fatebreaker, a bite from a tiny sineater she didn’t have the nerve to kill, a blasphemy one on her hip that mimics perfectly one azem had (not that she knows) and lastly another claw/grab one on her biceps from zenos (ew instance).

— F A M I L Y

parents: she was born back when her village still followed strictly male/female living apart, so she didn’t really meet her father. her mother is alive and well as far as she knows, but she didn’t visit them after leaving the forest so she wouldn’t know better tbh

siblings: her mother was much more of a leader than anything else, so strangely enough, she has just one brother and he’s half-hyur.

grandparents: only ever met her grandmother who died not much long after she was born (which is how the leadership passed to her mother)

in laws and other: blood related there are few around her village. not blood related, well, is it here where I gush abt her and the twins?

pets: technically, just her chocobo.

— S K I L L S

abilities: dragoon + gunbreaker mainly but really aces in any physical combat (bad with magic tho); has pretty great smitching skills, animal handling and survival instincts too. also, ofc, dominates the echo pretty well by now.

hobbies: exercise/sparing, camping/hiking/gathering (outdoor stuff), tinkering her weapons/armor, collecting stuff from travels (loves art, bad at it. could recite one or another poem but would never admit it willingly) and weirdly enough, journaling.

— T R A I T S

most positive traits: quiet, loyal, practical, independent, focused, perceptive, very loving with a couple of people and cares a lot.

most negative traits: also quiet, blunt, stubborn, prideful, judgmental, paranoid, reckless, private, competitive, bad guilty complex, very limited communication/emotional skills and also… cares a lot.

— L I K E S

colours: red and black.

smells: wood, rain/wet soil, herbal/flower aromas, anything forest adjacent.

textures: again, loves having dirt under her feet, rain on her skin, etc. also cold metal and worn/loose linen.

drinks: really doesn’t have any. she is very used to eating/drinking just to sustain herself, so she doesn’t have any cravings for that.

— O T H E R D E T A I L S

smokes: probably when she was younger once, but never was her thing. and ofc, she is paranoid.

drinks: only with friends, sometimes not even then. also, see above.

drugs: only medicinal ones, and again, sometimes not even then. she really should take more.

mount issuance: one of the first things that made her go “ugh. civilization.” when she first got to gridania but she got it lol prefers traveling than using aetherite tho, so it was for the best.

been arrested: never. technically she should’ve for a few things she has done right after she left the wood (stealing rael included, don’t worry about it, he was always hers anyway) but well. what can I tell you, she’s good at getting away with things like that.

__________________________

Saw a bunch of ppl doing it already but trying to tag ones I didn’t saw yet!! I may be wrong lol but also pls talk to me abt ur wols I need to know about them (being extra, no pressure in doing this):

@galadae @aethergazing @birues @alackofghosts

@thefreelanceangel @myreia @coldshrugs

#not a single new gpose with just her so take the one with the manderville gunblade again.#tag game #ffxiv viera #wol posting #man everytime I do one of those I get overwhelmed I LOVE HER SO MUCH. heads in hands. I care her.#also I joke abt her being aragorn age coded... jokes on you she's entirely aragorn coded #I really have a character type. quiet nurturing leaders save me... save me quiet nurturing leaders....#also the nicknames... just a fun fact for u: she is taking thancred’s nickname/petnames for her to her grave. you dont get it either 👍#and decided to just put nickname related to her name bc ofc she has a BUNCH of allias but its just warrior things.#also. just putting thesa there tbh bc she has eryut BUT idk.... she doesn't always use it tbh and i'm kinda into changing it to rael #kinda want to change bc thesa lore reasons but also don't want to let go of eryut bc ily fran u will always be with me YOU KNOW? yeah #the orientation is hard too ... ofc I have my non wol!au where her and lyna are a thing. but idk she just doesn't care abt partners at all.#like full stop. it just happened that thancred changed her mind and her first time was with a guy friend but that's not here or there #/i/ would say probably pan/ace spectrum but again. it feels weird to label her at all tbh lol so get that vague ass answer 👍

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