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mirkwoodshewolf · 2 years

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I’m the cool aunt; Yelena Belova x child reader

*Author’s note*

This took me a bit due to work and life schedule but I finally came around and decided to do this sweet little request for @zinziekusworld who wanted a Yelena Belova x child reader. Now this is my first time writing for Yelena so I HOPE I did her justice cause really she’s like my FAV female heroine character next to Wanda and Natasha.

Not really any warnings what so ever except maybe a couple of swear words but really this is a FLUFFY FIC where Nat is ALIVE and she is HAPPY as is Yelena continuing saving the other Widows. Enjoy my lovelies until the next oneshot comes out.

Taglist:

@plethora-of-things

@waddles03

@queensdivas

@queen-paladin

@psychosupernatural

@ixchel-9275

@jd-johndeacon-or-jackdaniels

@austynparksandpizza

@peter-parkers-cullen-nerd

__________________________________________________________

Today was a special day. According to mama, she told me that I would be meeting my Aunt for the first time today since she was here in Ohio and right now I was making a special card for her since this will be the first time meeting her.

“Whatcha doin (Y/n)?” asked my bestest friend in the whole world, Michelle.

“I’m making a card for my auntie. I’m going to be meeting her for the first time today.”

“Wow really, that’s great!” she exclaimed.

“Your aunt’s coming over?” asked my other bestest friend Cera asked. “That’s not good.”

“What do you mean?” I asked her as I paused my coloring.

“Aunts are nothing but trouble.” She said. “Whenever my aunt comes over, she always pinches and squeezes my cheeks so hard they’re end up red for a really long time.”

“She’s right. When my aunt comes over, I get covered in her old, nasty aunt spit when she kisses me.” Our other friend Tyler came over to say.

“I don’t think so guys. When my aunt comes over, she brings me presents from all the places she’s been to.” Michelle said.

“Well that’s only one cool aunt that I know of. I heard from Cory that his aunt only gives out mints and toothbrushes for Halloween.” Tyler said.

“And Shanice’s aunt only screams and yells. Trust me, she lives in my neighborhood and when he aunt comes over, everybody knows she’s there.” Cera said.

“Do—do you really think my aunt will be any of those things?”

“Trust me (Y/n), it’s better you don’t get your hopes up. Like I said, aunts are nothing but trouble.” Cera said before walking off with Tyler behind her.

“Don’t listen to her, sometimes Cera doesn’t know what she’s talking about.”

“But then sometimes she does. Remember when she told Derek not to climb up the fence above the batter’s box but he did it anyway.”

“Well Derek’s a jerk and doesn’t listen to anyone.”

“Yeah but remember he ended up screaming his head off and said that she was right. And he never admits to being wrong.”

“Still I wouldn’t let it bother you, I hope you and your aunt get to be good friends with each other. Just like me and my aunt.” She then ran off leaving me to my desk alone looking down at my card nervously.

I was now walking with the rest of the Blue walkers heading away from the school and to our crosswalk that would lead us to the library across the street where all the parents were waiting for us.

The crossing guard soon stepped forward and held up the stop sign as well as held out her hands to get the cards to stop and allow us to walk across the street. I waved by to Michelle who was picked up by her older sister and I proceeded to walk the rest of the way home (mom made sure that our neighborhood was the safest one in the whole town. Yes she’s the neighborhood watch Captain in case you’re wondering).

It only took a few minutes from the library to arrive at my house. It’s like your basic house, 2 levels, a good backyard, a built-in playground and a good enough space to put up the pool during the summer time. I punched in the code to unlock the door and I heard the click telling me it was correct then I opened the door.

“Mama I’m home from school!” I called out but there was no response. I walked further into the house and called out again, “Mom?”

“She ran to the store to get some mac and cheese.” Quickly thinking I took off my shoe and tossed toward the voice but a hand caught it, and peeking out from behind her hand she sung out. “Hi.”

She was fairly young, younger than my mom, had blonde hair and wore a brown jacket, a yellow shirt and black jeans. Rings decorated her fingers and she had greenish, blue eyes.

“Quick reflexes. Reminds me at that age.” She said as she tossed my shoe to the couch. “Either she taught you how to do that or you’re just naturally gifted.”

“Who are you?”

“I’m Yelena. I’m an old friend of you mom’s. Old, old friend. And before you make any old people’s joke, I’m not that old!” going by the Russian accent alone, maybe she was one of the former widows my mom helped save long before she adopted me.

“Were you one of the widows?” she looked down solemnly.

“I don’t do that anymore. But yes. We—we knew each other back then. Hell even longer than that you could say.” I looked her up and down and asked.

“How did you get into our house? It’s a secret lock only mom and I know.”

“I was a former widow, breaking into homes was kinda my specialty. Not proud of it but still it’s a skill set. And your mama is too predictable even when she thinks she isn’t.” Yelena said as she sat down at the dinner table, her feet crossed over one another and resting up against the table.

“And I’m supposed to just—believe you?”

“Good reflexes and smart. I like that you’re a good kid.” She said with a slight smile. “Look you can choose to believe me or not the point is you’ll be needing someone to look after you till your mom comes back so—why not?”

“And when my mom does come back and sees you, will she just accept that?”

“Oh she’s definitely cool with that. Like I said, we practically grew up together. So kiddo, what would you like to do first? You into games? Cause I’ve been trying out that uhh—what do they call it uhh—Mario kart? Yeah, yeah and I’ve gotten pretty good at it. Kate Bishop still hasn’t forgiven me for beating her when she played that dinosaur guy.”

“You mean Yoshi?”

“That’s its name? Yeesh terrible name for a dinosaur.”

“Yoshi’s a great character!”

“Well if you wish to prove me wrong, how about we play for it?” she said pulling out Super Mario kart. I went over and turned on the Nintendo and then grabbed the two switches consoles and handed her the blue one. “Give me the red one.” She said.

“But I always use the red one.”

“But I am the guest/babysitter so you have to do what I say, less I tattle-tale you to your mom.” I grumbled and handed her the red Nintendo switch console and she did a soft cheer while I got the blue one. “Okay so you be that Yoshi lame dino and I’ll be the main guy Mario.”

“Fine with me. And we’ll do my favorite track, Ghost valley.”

“Ooo spooky. You sure you won’t get too scared?” she teased me.

“Will you?” she laughed.

“Smart, quick reflexes and sassy. I’m really liking you kid.” I started up the course and when the countdown began we both made our characters go as fast as they could.

Every twist and turn we made and trying to surpass the other, of course she had to cheat by first covering nudging my side and then tried to make me drop my switch, in the end Yelena won the first round.

“That’s not fair you cheated.”

“No, no it was the ghosts. We were in a haunted valley after all, you know ghosts can pop out of the screens and screw with you. Like this one movie I saw that I may show you.”

“I doubt it. My mom doesn’t allow me to watch scary movies, even though I saw JAWS like a hundred times.”

“The shark movie? Please that’s not scary.”

“It is if you don’t know what lurks in the ocean. Have you seen the way sharks blend with the water?”

“Okay I’ll give you that. But if it were up to me, I’d let you watch scary movies.”

“That’s—wait you’re diverting the conversation of the fact you cheated!”

“Okay so that was a lie, I did cheat. But why not make it two out of three?”

“How about we raise the stakes?” I challenged.

“What do you have in mind?” she asked with a raised brow.

“Well tonight is vegetable night, loser has to eat a double serving of broccoli and asparagus.”

“Eww oh what has your mother done to you? But you’re on kid!” we shook on it and restarted the race to which I won the second round and she won the third.

It was down to the wire with this last race. Two more turns would decide who would win and who would have to suffer the defeat of double helpings of the disgusting broccoli and asparagus.

“I’m home! (Y/n)?”

“In here mom!” I exclaimed leaning further inward as I shoved Yelena’s leg.

“Hey you little stinker that’s cheating!”

“Like how you tickled me to win the last round!?” I mocked.

“What’s going on here?” I heard mom say.

“Can’t talk Natasha. One more turn and I beat the kid in ghost racing.” Yelena said.

“In your dreams, take this!” I knocked into Mario’s kart which gave me a lead start.

“You little—alright then if it’s dirty you want, it’s dirty you’ll get.” She then suddenly got a power boost and turned on the oil slick trying to get me to slow down and spin out of control. Unfortunately for her I knew this trick (mom does it to me all the time) so I went up along the walls and sped forward.

“Ahh no way!” she exclaimed as I got in front of her.

“How long have you guys been playing this game?” mom asked us.

“I don’t know what time is it now?” Yelena asked.

“Yes I win!” I stood up and cheered as I was claimed the winner and Yoshi did his little victory dance.

“Noooo!!!!” Yelena cried out as she collapsed along the couch. I copied Yoshi’s dance before turning towards her.

“Told you Yoshi was the best!”

“Well I’m glad to see you’ve been bonding with your aunt while I was shopping.”

Wait what? I looked at my mom in shock and she nodded. I turned back to my babysitter who removed the pillow from her face and she once again sung.

“Hi~!”

“You’re my aunt?” I asked.

“Yep.” She said popping the p.

“Wait you didn’t tell her?” mom asked.

“She didn’t ask me if I was her aunt. Plus I thought you told her I was coming.”

“I did.” Mom exclaimed.

“So what did you just—never show a picture of me or something?”

“Wait, wait, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, hold on time out!” I said making the time out sign with my hands. “If you’re my aunt, then—you’re really fun after all?”

“Who said I wasn’t fun?” she gawked offendedly.

“Well, one of my friends said that aunts are nothing but trouble and are boring, sometimes cranky or always screaming.” Yelena’s mouth dropped and she said.

“I never do anything like that. Plus I am not boring I’m way to talented than that. Did we not just have fun playing the Mario kart game just now?”

“Yeah. But you still lost so that does make you slow.” I laughed.

“Oh yeah?” she suddenly grabbed me and pulled me into her lap as she proceeded to tickle me. I shrieked and laughed as she taunted me. “Am I slow still? Huh?”

“Stohahap! STOP IHIHIHIHT!!!”

“I’m sorry I couldn’t hear you, I think my old ears might be in the fritz.”

“Alright Yelena that’s enough let her breathe.” My aunt stopped tickling me.

“Not only a poser but you’re a party pooper as well.” She muttered to my mom.

“What was that?”

“Nothing, nothing.” She said louder before looking down at me and winked which made me giggle softly. “I’m the fun aunt. And that’s what I want to be for you kid. What do you say?”

“I say my bestest friend Michelle was right. Aunts can be fun.”

“Of course, I’m fun, cool, and a total badass.”

“Please don’t swear in front of her Yelena. I’m trying to not teach her bad habits.” Mom said as she began to unpack some of the groceries.

“More like trying to not get me to swear so that uncle Steve doesn’t faint again.” I whispered to her which made her laugh.

“So are any of you gonna help me unpack the groceries or do I have to do everything myself?” mom asked. I bounced off the couch and trotted over to help her put away some of the lighter stuff while aunt Yelena said she would ‘supervise’ (which basically meant taking a soda and drinking it while mom and I did all the work).

When dinner came around the corner (as promised) I gave my aunt Yelena my broccoli and asparagus to which she whined.

“I thought kids were supposed to forget about bets like that?”

“Not this kid. Now eat up aunt Yelena, it’s good for you mom says so, don’t you mom?”

“Yes indeed. As did our adoptive parents, come on Yelena, you got out of it when you were a kid but you’re not getting out of eating your veggies now.” Mom taunted her.

“Suka.” Yelena muttered under her breath.

“Language.”

“Hey mom can you pass the hot sauce?” I asked. She reached over for the hot sauce and handed it to me.

“You do hot sauce with your mac and cheese too?” aunt Yelena asked me.

“Oh yeah, I love hot sauce.”

“Respect kid.” She held out her fist and I gave her a fist bump back. “Maybe I should take you with me and raise you as my daughter. We got like sooo much in common.”

“Like I’d let that happen.” Mom piped in.

“Kidding. You know I wouldn’t do that to you Natasha.” She said before hiding her lips but mouthed off to me before lightly gesturing. ‘You and me, out by morning.’ She gave me another wink before she went back to her broccoli. “In fact kid give me the hot sauce now, feels like the only thing that can help with this torture. And I’ve been through a lot of torture.”

“No need to scar my daughter for life about your missions and assignments.”

“I don’t know, maybe might have an exciting story to tell her of the places I’ve been, the people I’ve met. What do you say kiddo?”

“I’d like to hear about it. Michelle’s aunt tells her about her trips around the world.”

“Fine but I’m gonna be monitoring the rating of these stories.” Mom said.

“Mom! I’m not 3 years old anymore!” I complained.

“Doesn’t matter how old you get, you’ll always be my little girl. And if I don’t want you exposed to certain things until you’re a certain age, then that’s one of your house rules.”

“Lighten up Natasha, I promise I’ll keep it G rated.” She gave me another wink telling me she’d fill me in on more details after bedtime.

It’s official, I have the coolest aunt in the world and I wouldn’t trade her for anything in the world.

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goldenempyrean · 11 months

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Taking the Podium

〚 Prompt - "You don't have to tough it out, you know. Let me take care of you." 〛

〚 Pairing - Yelena x Reader 〛

〚 Wordcount - 1000 〛

〘 Check Out My Masterlist! 〙

╚════════ ⋇⋆✦⋆⋇⋆✦⋆⋇ ════════╝

“Are you sure you’re up to this?” Yelena asked worriedly as the two of you sat in your dressing room, “You don’t have to tough it out y’know, let me take care of you.”

You shook your head, determined not to let a little cold get in the way of your responsibilities. You were scheduled to speak at the press conference in just a few minutes, and you couldn't let your team down. Not only that, not showing up would almost definitely set a bad reputation for your job as an Avenger and after the accords incident you weren’t willing to risk anything.

“I’ll be fine.” Your grainy, scratchy voice sniffled in reply. You were trying to quickly reread your planned speech but all the words felt like they were blurred together.

Yelena sighed, knowing how stubborn you could be. She stood up from the chair she had been sitting in and walked over to you, placing a hand on your forehead to check for fever. 

"You're burning up," she said, concern etched on her face.

You brushed her hand away, not wanting her to worry even more. "I'll be fine," you insisted, even though your throat was starting to feel scratchy and your nose was getting stuffy.

Yelena didn't look convinced, but she didn't argue further. Instead, she went to the mini fridge in the corner of the room and pulled out a bottle of water and a few cough drops. "At least take these," she said, handing them to you.

Grateful for her care, you took the items from her and popped a cough drop into your mouth, feeling the soothing effect immediately. You leaned back in your chair, taking a deep breath to calm your nerves. Yelena was always there for you, taking care of you no matter what. You felt lucky to have her by your side especially when you felt so bad.

As the time for the press conference approached, Yelena helped you get ready, straightening your tie and smoothing out your jacket. She gave you a quick kiss on the cheek for good luck, and you felt a surge of warmth in your chest.

You made your way to the conference and stood nervously behind the podium, the bright lights of the press conference room glaring down at you, revealing you to the world, condemning you to the public opinion. It was a pivotal moment in your career, a chance to address the world and make your mark. As the anticipation mounted, you glanced over at Yelena who was standing by your side, her calm demeanour offering a reassuring presence.

Just as you were about to start speaking, you felt an unsettling tickle at the back of your nose. You coughed lightly, hoping to stave off the irritation. But the tickle persisted, growing more persistent with each passing moment. A wave of panic washed over you as you realised that you were going to interrupt your speech with a fit of irrepressible sneezes.

Yelena, ever observant, noticed your situation and immediately sprang into action. With a slight nod, she gracefully stepped forward, effortlessly taking over the podium. Her voice, clear and confident, resonated throughout the room as she smoothly transitioned into delivering your opening remarks. The audience barely registered the shift, captivated by her poise and articulate delivery as you silently stifled a painful set of sneezes beside her.

Yelena continued to speak, seamlessly covering for your sudden interruption. As she flawlessly improvised, you couldn't help but feel grateful for her quick thinking and supportive nature. She effortlessly maintained the attention of the audience, guiding the press conference with expertise.

Meanwhile, you discreetly reached into your pocket and retrieved a tissue, trying to muffle your sniffles and keep your runny nose under control. Your head throbbed with each sneeze you suppressed, and it was becoming increasingly challenging to focus on anything other than your discomfort.

Yelena glanced at you, concern etched on her face, but she maintained her composure, refusing to let the situation falter. She continued to articulate your points and address the questions from the reporters with finesse. It was a testament to her abilities and dedication that she could effortlessly fill in for you while you battled your symptoms.

As the press conference drew to a close, you knew you had to say a few concluding words. Your voice was beyond hoarse and strained, and you couldn't help but wince at the scratchy feeling in your throat. Despite the discomfort, you mustered all your strength and delivered a brief, heartfelt closing statement, expressing your gratitude to everyone for their attendance and support.

Applause filled the room, and the journalists began dispersing, their attention shifting to other matters. You finally had a chance to take a moment to yourself, leaning heavily against the podium. Yelena immediately came to your side, concern and worry plain on her face.

"You did great," she said softly, placing a hand on your shoulder. "But now it's time to take care of yourself."

You nodded weakly, realising that you couldn't push through your illness any longer. With her support, you made your way back to the car waiting outside. She drove you home, the quiet ride filled with a sense of relief and the promise of rest.

Once you were back at your shared apartment, Yelena fussed over you, making sure you were comfortable and warm. She brewed a soothing cup of herbal tea, adding a spoonful of honey to help ease your sore throat. After fetching you some tissues and helping you change into some of her comfiest pyjamas she tucked you into bed, arranging the blankets around you with gentle care.

As you settled into the soft embrace of the bed, Yelena sat by your side, her hand finding yours as her fingers wrapped around your own. “Rest now," she whispered, her voice filled with tenderness as she placed a soft kiss to your clammy forehead, “I'll take care of everything."

〖 Join My Taglist! 〗@sayah13 @scrambled-brain-eggs @natashamyl0ve @shin-conan-kun @bloomingflowersthings @kathleenmikaelson @shamelessbearunknown @inluvwithfictionalwomen @citrussnz @fluffyblanketgecko @kljhsong @santana1437 @lovelyy-moonlight @lots-of-pockets @sashawalker2 @natashamaximoff69 @observeowl

#yelena belova x readder #yelena belova x y/n #yelena belova x you #yelena belova sickfic #yelena belova fanfic #marvel #sickfic #mcu #marvel sickfic #fluff #comfort #yelena belova

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imyourbratzdoll · 1 year

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Warnings and Reminders - Please do not plagiarise, copy, repost/republish, adapt, or translate any of my work on any social media platforms, apps, or third-party sites. The only platforms I post my work on are: Tumblr and Wattpad. I do not own any character of any franchise (Marvel etc.) All my works are fiction and may be dark or triggering content: READ ALL WARNINGS BEFORE PROCEEDING.

♡ 𝒇𝒍𝒖𝒇𝒇 ➳ 𝒂𝒏𝒈𝒔𝒕 ❥ 𝒔𝒎𝒖𝒕 ❦ 𝒅𝒂𝒓𝒌

೫˚🖤❀ *ૢ🥀೫˚🌑

𝐘𝐞𝐥𝐞𝐧𝐚 𝐁𝐞𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐚

೫˚🖤❀ *ૢ🥀೫˚🌑

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cannibalizedyke · 1 year

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🔪yelena belova masterlist🔪

key: ❤︎︎ - fluff, ☁︎︎ - angst, ★ - smut

help me know you ❤︎︎☁︎︎

scars and all ❤︎︎

i’m the best ❤︎︎

#yelena belova x reader #yelena belova x you #yelena belova x y/n #yelena belova fanfiction #yelena belova fanfic #yelena belova fic #yelena belova

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finnicks · 1 year

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( fic ) two immovable stones

two immovable stones

mcu (hawkeye) | yelena/kate + lucky; teen, 200 words Kate does her best not to disturb Yelena and Lucky as they sleep.

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slightly-smarter-nat · 2 years

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Prison Break || The Unknown Widow

ⴵ ⴵ ⴵ ——— ….. ⴵ ⴵ ⴵ ——— ….. ⴵ ⴵ ⴵ ——— ….. ⴵ ⴵ ⴵ ——— ….. ⴵ ⴵ ⴵ ——— …..

Pairing: Natasha Romanoff x Yelena Belova x Reader (Platonic)

Warnings: Mentions of torture; Explicit language; mentions of weapons; mentions of injury, mentions of blood; Alexei just kidding; mentions of the Red Room, description of sterilisation of Widows. If I have missed any warnings, please let me know.

Word Count: 4194 words.

Summary: It’s time to break Alexei out of prison; will he be as useful as Natasha hopes in taking down the Red Room?

A/N: Part 8 of ‘The Unknown Widow’. This ended up being longer than expected-oops. Aspects of this part were inspired by the music included on the ‘Black Widow movie soundtrack’- ‘Red Rising’, Lorne Balfe. I hope you all enjoy!!

Please do not repost (on here or any social media platform) copy, translate or take ownership of my work. Reblogs, likes and comments are always appreciated <3

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10

Masterlist

Translation: “прощайте, мудаки”, roughly translates to ‘Farewell, douchebags’.

ⴵ ⴵ ⴵ ——— ….. ⴵ ⴵ ⴵ ——— ….. ⴵ ⴵ ⴵ ——— ….. ⴵ ⴵ ⴵ ——— ….. ⴵ ⴵ ⴵ ——— …..

GIF not mine

Prison Break- The Unknown Widow:

-The Seventh Circle Prison-

We steadily hover over the Russian Prison; on the way here we- meaning mostly Natasha, formed a plan in order to rescue Alexei Shostakov; the infamous Red Guardian himself. From my time in the Red Room, I can remember how Dreykov reminisced on the days that he used the Red Guardian to his ‘full disposal’. I did always wonder what happened to him- well now I know.

Yelena receives a ping on her device to signal that Alexei has activated his ear piece/tracker. She is sitting up front with Natasha, piloting the aircraft. I would help, but Natasha made it very clear that she doesn’t want me to have any part in this, for reasons beyond me. All I can think is that she still doesn’t trust me- I guess I’ll have to show her that she can. I could always ask Yelena to put Natasha in her place, but I don’t want to overstep or put her in a position where she has to pick a side.

I look up front when I hear Natasha’s voice boom through my headset, “Today is your lucky day, Alexei”.

Yelena moves the device towards Natasha, I lean forward from my seat at the back to see the screen. I can barely make out the map of the Prison, along with a green dot to represent Alexei’s position.

“Move to the door on the south wall.” Natasha instructs him.

We don’t hear a response from his end, so we can only assume he’s following her instructions.

I choose to crouch down in between the two piloting seats, much to Natasha’s dismay. I just simply roll my eyes at her, whether she likes it or not, I’m involved in this. Yelena shows me the display, sending me a smile before turning her attention back to the scene ahead.

“Go left. Just don’t make a scene.” Natasha guides Alexei through the layout of the Prison.

Distinct shouts of protest can be heard through our headsets, suggesting a brawl breaking out, causing Natasha to comment, “You made a scene, didn’t you?”

“What? You actually expected him to follow simple instructions successfully?” Yelena mocks, causing a smile to grace my lips. From the image they’re painting of Alexei to me, he doesn’t sound very reliable at all.

We can see from the device that he- somehow, managed to escape the Prison through Natasha’s guidance and a few door tricks.

I stand up and look towards the ground, noticing a door flying off its hinges and a scruffy looking man exiting the building-is this really the former Red Guardian?

He staggers across the ground. We hear his voice sound through the communication system, “What now?” He grunts.

“We’re gettin’ you outta here.” Natasha replies.

Yelena and Natasha menovure the aircraft into a better position to allow us better access to Alexei.

“Um, that’s not a good sign.” I say as we watch the swarm of guards and inmates surround Alexei.

Natasha shakes her head before instructing Alexei, “Go to the upper level.”

Alexei scrambles through several gates; whilst avoiding flares being thrown at him by prison guards.

“Move your ass, super soldier.” Natasha encourages him along.

With quick, skilled motions, Alexei scales a wall. That is until he is tasered by a guard, causing him to fall straight back down to the ground.

“He’s never going to make it.” Yelena says.

“Get me closer.” Natasha tells Yelena, causing her to give her a sceptical expression.

“You got a better idea?” Natasha finishes off.

I see this as my opportunity to help, so I stand in front of Natasha as she gets up from her seat, “Natasha, let me help, come on I’ll go down there and help Alexei. You can stay here with Lena.” I attempt to plead my case to Natasha.

“No Lara, just go sit down and I’ll deal with it.” She says as she grabs the equipment needed to scale down to the ground.

“Why not Natasha, just because you have the title of an Avenger, doesn’t mean-“ Natasha cuts my words off with an outburst.

“It’s because I don’t trust you Lara. You’ll just end up screwing the mission up and I can’t allow that to happen.” She glares at me, causing me to look towards the ground in hurt. I’d do anything to protect either of them, but hearing Natasha confirm my suspicions sends a wave of uneasiness through me.

I miss the way Yelena glares at Natasha, silently signalling for her to let me help.

Natasha releases a heavy sigh before saying, “Fine, go up front with Yelena, and help her pilot this thing.”

I look up to her in surprise; not expecting her to change her mind. I remove my headset before rushing over to the front with Yelena, placing Natasha’s headset over my head. I look over to Yelena and give her a heartfelt smile, knowing she will have had something to do with Natasha’s sudden change of heart.

Yelena gives me a light punch on the arm, causing me to playfully roll my eyes as I get into position and buckle up.

Natasha asks for us to unlock the door; I press the unlock switch and look over to her as she readies herself for her jump.

Once the door is opened, she grabs hold of a rope-like material and leaps down from the aircraft.

She swings as Yelena and I gently guide the aircraft down, allowing her an easier landing.

She masters a flip from the rope and lands heroically on one of the top levels; holding many guards.

I raise an eyebrow at her form; and Yelena shakes her head, “Such a poser.” Yelena says, causing me to laugh, remembering our conversation in the gas station store.

Whilst maintaining control of the aircraft, we watch as she uses the rope to swing and kick a guard directly off the platform. She then delivers harsh strikes on the other guards, alternating which foot she uses to carry out her attacks. Natasha then sends the rope swinging directly into the remaining guard- the metal hook at the end serving as a means to knock him out.

As soon as she takes out the guards, I remove my headset and unbuckle my seatbelt and go towards the open door.

Yelena snaps her head towards me, “You’ll be alright on your own won’t you?” I say as I prepare my suit for the jump to the ground.

“Wait, what are you doing? Natasha said to stay on here!” Yelena shouts, compensating for the sound of rushing air muffling her words.

“Natasha can say what she likes, that doesn’t mean that I have to listen to her. See you in a bit!” I say as I jump out of the aircraft.

Yelena can’t hold this against me, she should be used to my spontaneous behaviour by now.

As I am falling down towards the ground, I activate my suit’s glide mechanic, causing a strengthened material to make wing-like shapes under my arms and between my legs. Allowing me to control my movements in the air. This feature is possibly the only good thing to come out of the Red Room, it allows me to cover more ground quickly, and has saved my life more times than I care to remember.

Thankfully, I zoom straight past Natasha- avoiding the infuriated expression I’m sure she’ll be displaying at my blatant disregard for her words.

I tilt my arms in the appropriate directions to avoid stray bullets and structures that I don’t want to crash into. As soon as I spot Alexei, I place my arms down my side and charge my way down to the ground.

I pick my target- an inmate striking Alexei, and I plough straight into him- taking him out instantly.

Once I deactivate my glide mechanic, I get to work in defending Alexei, giving him a clear window to make his way up to the higher platform, and board the aircraft.

“Get to Natasha, I’ll deal with these guys.” I tell Alexei, I expect him to move but he just looks at me in shock.

“Go!” I shout which seemingly knocks him out of his trance as he makes his way across the ground.

An inmate grabs my shoulder, which causes me to grab his wrist tightly and twist it, causing him to yelp in pain. I duck under his arm, causing it to stretch behind him, I push it hard causing a snapping noise to sound through the air. I ignore his cries of pain and kick him away as I move to the next inmate approaching.

I aim my grappling hook at him and swing it enough to latch onto his prison uniform; I pull harshly on the rope, bringing the inmate close to me. Using the advantage of the velocity travelled by the inmate, I deliver a brutal hit to his face. This causes his legs to come from under him due to the force, allowing me to punch him to the ground.

I quickly glance up to see Yelena steering out of control due to the guards firing at her. She nearly takes Natasha out in the process as she tries to regain control. I wince at the close calls Natasha has with the propellers of the aircraft.

After a few seconds of swaying, Yelena finally regains control. All I can see from my lower position is Natasha waving her arms frustratedly at Yelena, most likely telling her to steer away.

Due to my distraction, I fail to notice the guard making his way towards me, allowing him to get a free strike at my jaw. The force from the hit sends me down to the ground, I gently grab my jaw, cringing at the pain. I look over to the guard, seeing him activate a stun baton.

I feel an excess of blood fill my mouth from the hit, I spit it out on the snow below me and stand up. The guard gulps at my protective stance. He lunges towards me, attempting to stun me with the baton. I quickly grab it; placing a hand on the weapon and his arm and kick him in the stomach, causing him to let go. Once he stumbles back I use the baton to send a shockwave through his neck, after a cry of pain I put him out of his misery and headbutt him to knock him out.

I give my head a firm shake to even out the pain throbbing through it.

Suddenly I hear a huge explosion behind me, I look up to see one of the guard watch towers has exploded.

I look around confused until I notice Yelena holding a rocket launcher in her hands. I know she isn’t looking at me, but I give her a disapproving shake of the head at her actions- she’s far from discreet, I’ll give her that.

A distant rumbling fills the air, causing us all to look around. At first I can’t pinpoint where it’s coming from, until I see the snow build up in the distance slowly making its way towards us.

“Oh my- Yelena!” I shout in annoyance, realising she’s caused an avalanche.

“Tell me that’s a good sign for us!” I hear Alexei shout not far from me.

“Move your asses!” Natasha shouts to us both from the higher level.

We instantly bolt towards the ladders, desperate to make it to higher ground.

The snow starts coming in rapidly, causing many guards and inmates to scramble back inside the prison to take cover.

Alexei launches himself from a guard’s shield to hop up to the next level.

I avoid most of the crowds by using my grapple hook to hoist myself up, level by level.

The inmates pick up their pace, as the rumbling becomes even louder, signifying its closeness.

“Get us outta here!” Natasha shouts up to Yelena, hoping she’ll move herself over enough for us to board the aircraft and escape.

I finally make it up to Natasha’s level, I jog over to her completely out of breath from my efforts, waiting for her to make her move.

She turns to me with a hardened glare, “I told you to stay!” She shouts.

To which I reply with a breathless, “I know.”

I clutch my sides, breathing heavily as she continues, “Yet you’re standing in front of me-“ I hold my hand up to stop her.

“Look, this lecture is absolutely mind blowing, but I think we’ve got an escape to master so if you’ll excuse me.” I say as I look up to see Yelena lining up the rope for us to leap on.

Natasha and I take a running start, going alongside each other in sync as we finally cross the railing and latch onto the ropes hanging from the aircraft.

Yelena pulls up so she can do a U-turn and rescue Alexei- whilst narrowly avoiding multiple explosions.

I clutch onto the rope for dear life, swinging along with the aircraft’s movements. I squint to attempt to locate Alexei, that’s when I spot him yelling at us to pick him up.

I look down at Natasha, she looks at me and then nods up, signalling for me to go. I struggle up the rope, trying to make my way back into the aircraft as she attempts to grab Alexei.

Yelena finally lines the aircraft’s route with Alexei. The snow starts to build up, making it extremely difficult to see if Natasha caught Alexei.

As I’m near the top, I grunt as the snow surrounds me and nearly causes me to lose my grip from the force.

However, Yelena manages to lift us up into the air, avoiding being lost to the avalanche. I look down to see Alexei clutching onto Natasha, relieved that she managed to grab him.

I use one last exertion of force to pull myself back into the aircraft, gasping for air at the struggle.

I hear Yelena laughing at the front, causing me to get up and go over to her.

“First of all, what the hell were you thinking!?” I say as I playfully flick her head, causing her to let out an exaggerated ‘ow’.

“Secondly, well done Lena!” I say as I place a grateful kiss on her head for saving us.

“What did you expect, I am a pro after all.” She states.

I hear grunting from behind me, so I rush over to help lift Natasha into the aircraft, which she actually allows me to do for once. I’m about to pull Alexei up but he has already lifted himself up.

“I do actually need some help up here!” Yelena shouts.

I looked over in confusion- why didn’t she just ask whilst I was standing there?

Natasha gently guides me aside as she takes her place next to Yelena. I’m hoping these signs of gentleness are an indication that she finally trusts that I’m in this to protect everyone and stop the Red Room.

I sit down on one of the seats in the back, finally being able to relax after the near death experience.

Alexei staggers over to the doorway, shouting “прощайте, мудаки!”

I roll my eyes, just hoping he doesn’t fall out as he’s shouting otherwise that entire mission would be a waste.

He slams the door shut before running his fingers through his hair.

“Oh, that was exciting; oh, I’m so proud of you girls.” He says, breathing heavily.

I lean my head back onto the wall of the aircraft, closing my eyes for a moment until Alexei shouts, “Oh, you can’t hear me, huh?” -If only that were true at this moment in time- with having my newfound headache making its appearance.

Natasha and Yelena attempt to ignore him as he tries to catch their attention.

He looks around and sees a spare headset resting from across me, he quickly grabs them and places them on his head. I release a sigh and grab the set next to me so I can hear what he’s about to say.

“Ah… wow.”

He releases a grunt of pain in response to a punch in the face delivered by Yelena. I quickly covered my mouth in order to suppress the laugh that was desperate to escape.

After a few groans, and a rub of his face, he continues, “Okay, why the aggression, huh? Is it your time of the month?”

I roll my eyes at this, here we go.

“I don’t get my period, dipshit. I don’t have a uterus.” Yelena tells him.

“Or ovaries.” Natasha includes as she glances out at the scene surrounding us.

“Yeah. That’s what happens when the Red Room gives you an involuntary hysterectomy. They kind of just go in and they rip out all of your reproductive organs. They just get right in there and they chop them all away, everything out, so you can’t have babies.” Yelena informs him as she acts out all of the actions involved in the process.

Alexei releases many uncomfortable noises at hearing the details of what the Widows have to endure.

He staggers back and is about to sit next to me, to which I tell him, “Don’t even think about it.” Causing him to sway himself to sit on the other side of the aircraft.

He looks over at Yelena as he takes a seat, “You don't have to get so clinical and nasty.”

By this point, Natasha and Yelena glance over at him, “Oh, well, I was about to talk about Fallopian tubes, but okay.” She looks over at me before turning back to face the front, I give her an amused smirk at her attempt to wind Alexei up.

Alexei looks over at me, in a similar way he did when he first saw me at the Prison. The surprise in his face confuses me.

“You know, I am surprised you’re here with the girls, you know with the whole history and everything.” He states directly to me.

I lean forward towards him, “What? What history? What are you talking about?”

Natasha briefly glances at me and shouts, “Don’t listen to him, he tends to make shit up. I wouldn’t worry about it!”

Alexei looks at her with his mouth open, shocked that she would accuse him of such things. I lean back and think over what he said- the only history I have with Yelena and Natasha is that of the Red Room- nothing further, but that wouldn’t warrant me not working with them. I want to push Alexei further until he turns towards Yelena and Natasha.

“It means so much to me that you came back for me.”

“No. No. You’re gonna tell us how to get to the Red Room.” Natasha firmly instructs Alexei, not wanting to entertain his words.

He looks over at me in uncertainty, “Huh? Whoa, look at you, huh? All business.” He clearly takes offence to Natasha’s blunt tone towards him.

“Trust me, this isn’t pleasure.” Natasha enlightens him.

I lay across the seats in the back, releasing a pained sigh at the conversation at hand.

“Little Natasha, all indoctrinated into the Western agenda.”

“I chose to go west to become an Avenger. ‘Cause they treated me like family.” Natasha attempts to defend her actions of leaving Russia to start her new life away from the trauma of the Red Room.

Alexei looks at Natasha in disbelief, “Really? Family? Well, where are they now? Where is that family now?”

I look over at Yelena, seeing her glance over at Natasha. It seems that she’s not the only one who still holds a grudge for Natasha attempting to move on within their little ‘family’ that was created; and in Natasha’s eyes, left behind in Russia- in the Red Room.

Natasha dismisses Alexei’s attempt to tarnish her relationship with the Avengers, “Tell me where the Red Room is.”

He takes a moment to pause, glancing at each one of us before saying, “I have no idea.” We all scoff in return- knowing he has some knowledge that could help us.

Natasha roughly removes her headset and makes her way to the back. She taps at my legs, causing me to sit up, “Go sit with Yelena.” She tells me quietly.

I huff a breath of exhaustion before moving past her and sitting in the pilot seat next to Lena. I place the headset on before taking hold of the piloting controls needed to guide the aircraft.

Natasha knocks Alexei’s headset from his head as she sits in the seat I was recently occupying, “Come on. You and Dreykov were like…”

“Dreykov?” Alexei exclaims.

Causing Natasha to confirm.

“General Dreykov, my friend, huh?” He says as he slams his back into the aircraft surface, “Gives me glory… Soviet Union’s first and only super soldier. I could have been more famous than Captain America. Then he buries me in Ohio on that stupid mission.” He rambles on.

I scoff in disgust, what I would have given to be placed in Ohio, pretending to be part of a family; instead of being tortured daily and being sent to kill not just enemies, but allies once they had outlived their use. I grip the controls tightly, annoyed at Alexei’s lack of awareness.

“Three years! So tedious, boring me to tears. No offense, huh?” He says to Yelena as she looks at him in loathing.

I look over at Yelena, attempting to catch her eye; she looks over and I give her a slight nod- a silent question of ‘are you okay?”

She gives me a nod in response, guiding her vision back to the snowy mountains in front of us.

Unfortunately, Alexei continues his rambling, “Then puts me in prison for the rest of my life. Why, huh? Why? Why would he put me in… You know why? ‘Cause maybe I want to talk about the withering of the state; or maybe I don’t like his hair or something and I say something casually about that. Maybe, you know-“

I attempt to zone him out after that, hoping that he’ll exhaust himself with his words and give our ears a rest.

Though my attention is spiked as soon as I hear him say, “I’m not the one who killed his daughter.”

I glance back at Natasha attempting to gauge her reaction- Though Yelena picked up on this topic in Budapest, part of me has always wondered what involvement Natasha really had in Dreykov’s Daughter’s death. It always seemed that on the anniversary of her death was when Dreykov was at his worst- the pain inflicted on me mostly increased. I had no involvement in this so I want to know why I was effectively punished in her place.

Natasha just looks away with a shake of her head, attempting to cover up her hurt with the topic being brought up.

“Though, I guess he got his payback with that one right?” Alexei says cryptically, directing his gaze towards me. I look over at Natasha confused; she mirrors my expression.

Yelena sighs before asking- clearly dismissing Alexei’s odd comment, “Can we throw him out of the window now?”

I continue to look at Natasha, though hopeful now, wanting her to agree to Yelena’s suggestion. We’ll have to get Alexei to justify his words later on when he’s not as hysterical over Dreykov’s betrayal.

“I think we should wait till we get to a higher altitude.” Natasha remarks, probably more serious than Alexei would like.

Alexei interrupts by asking in Russian, ‘why not ask Melina where it is?’

Yelena whips her head around and asks, “Wait, Mom Melina?”

I look over at her, finally realising where Melina fits into all of this after days of wondering.

Natasha looks at Yelena in a puzzled way until she says to Alexei, “We thought she was dead.”

Alexei simply scoffs at the statement, “You cannot kill a fox that swift.”

I turn my face up in disgust; rather remaining ignorant to his apparent attraction towards Melina.

Yelena smirks at my expression, she’s probably used to Alexei’s vulgar ways.

Alexei briefly explains his and Melina’s role in the Red Room, gracing us with the information of her residency in St. Petersburg.

Having mentioned her being a prime scientist in Dreykov’s schemes, I sit and attempt to recall her presence within the Red Room, having never come across her before. Dreykov made a point for me to be aware of every member of the Red Room, having held a higher rank myself- why would he keep Melina and I separate?

I look over to Yelena when she speaks up, “Uh… I don’t think we have enough fuel for St. Petersburg.” I look at the fuel gauge and see that we have nearly run out of fuel, most likely running on the reserve.

“No, we’re good. We’ll make it.” Alexei assures us.

Yelena gives a lack of convincing, ‘okay’ as a response.

She was right to do so, since we ended up plummeting to the ground shortly after.

If this day has taught me anything, it is that Alexei Shostakov is quite the character.

ⴵ ⴵ ⴵ ——— ….. ⴵ ⴵ ⴵ ——— ….. ⴵ ⴵ ⴵ ——— ….. ⴵ ⴵ ⴵ ——— ….. ⴵ ⴵ ⴵ ——— …..

Tag list: @sheisnotalone @jeyramarie @sophie-reads-too-much

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missmarvelobsession · 1 year

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MY WHUMPRIL 2023 PORTFILIO IS FULLY COMPLETED ON AO3 ❤️ @whumpril

Check it out and let me know what you think ❤️

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cntrpt · 1 year

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[Part four of If we got each other, and that's all we have]

Relationships: Yelena Belova & Natasha Romanoff; Post-Endgame/Post-Hawkeye Fix-It Fic;

[Ch. 1] • [Ch. 2] • [Chapter 3 | Words: 7693]

It was dark.

No noise, no sound.

Nothing.

There was a numb stillness all around her.

She felt cold.

Memories had started to come over her all at once, flooding her, and as she had helplessly watched her own past unravelling before her very eyes, she had found herself drowning in it.

All the missing pieces where suddenly within her reach, but they were all over the place, and kept mixing up with forged images, self-induced fantasies, dreams and nightmares, and it was all too much, she couldn't, she couldn't—

But then, all the turmoil had shut down, and there was black and silence all around her, a soothing sense of terrifying nothingness.

But now she remembered.

She remembered it all.

She was left with nothing but time to put all those puzzle pieces back together again, as she had done many, many times already.

Each time was different.

This time, she just needed a little longer.

But it was fine.

She had already done that, she would do it again.

She would be fine again.

Just keep breathing.

But there was also something else there with her, in the nothingness.

It was a strange feeling.

She was — holding it?

Something tangible.

That was new.

But it didn't feel like a threat. It actually felt...safe.

It was soft, and welcoming.

She tried holding onto it, and a faint warmth started creeping into her, quietly spreading, before fading away just as it had appeared.

Yelena immediately found herself missing it, so she tried reaching for that same feeling again, this time with no intention of letting go.

ты в порядке. You're okay.

She just had to focus a little more. Her surroundings were already becoming brighter, discernible. She could feel her mind clearing, starting to put one though after the other.

"дыши." Breathe. Yes, she needed to breathe.

A sudden dizziness came upon her as she realized that now she was able to also feel things around her, light pressures on her skin, wisps of hair fluttering around and against her face.

"Елена?" Yelena.

Wait.

With unnatural effort, she blinked away the remnants of the haze that had enveloped her, letting the pale moonlight seep through.

She weakly turned her head from side to side, taking in the outlines of what was around her from her sitting position, focusing on every shape and their arrangement in the room.

Her gaze eventually fell on the person facing her, and she stilled.

Natasha. Right.

She felt all the pieces fall into the right places, retracing neatly every step that had led her, them, to this very moment, while the images from her flashbacks were now quietly relegated into the back of her mind.

She felt present.

But when she was able to fully take in Natasha's form, she couldn't suppress a new kind of sinking feeling forming into her stomach.

It was not as blatant and suffocating as it had been, but it was there, uncomfortably nagging at her from the inside.

The redhead had shifted on the bed from her previous position, and was now sitting cross-legged right in front of her.

Her controlled demeanor displayed a calmness that Yelena found to be oddly soothing, something she could safely rely on, but at the same time she was also able to read the trepidation written all over her features and the worry set deep into the other's searching gaze.

She felt the strong desire to make that concern disappear, to reassure her that she was fine, and that in a few minutes she would be back to be okay, but the words wouldn't leave her mouth and her body wouldn't relax.

She had seen, she knew that it was her. With each passing moment everything around her was becoming a little more real, but so did the sting of guilt building up in the pit of her stomach, and there was still something, something refraining her, that—

"ты со мной?" Are you with me?

The sudden question snapped her back to attention, leaving her staring blankly at Natasha.

She blinked a few times as the words registered.

Her eyes wandered briefly around the room before locking with the ones staring right back at her.

Yes.

She found herself still unable to get the words out, so she just nodded slowly, with more uncertainty than she had hoped for.

Even so, she clearly saw relief flashing across the other's face and features, feeling some of the tension in her body melt away.

She lowered her gaze, and realized that she was still holding Natasha's hand, only now her grip had turned almost painful as she kept clinging to it with all her might — like it was her only lifeline.

She let out a soft breath and loosened her hold a little, their joined hands — hers still safely secured between both of Natasha's — now resting almost placidly on top of her bent up knees.

She felt a thumb starting to lightly rub the back of her hand, stroking it gently, and she focused on that feeling while her mind wandered.

Thinking back to what had happened in the past minutes, something caught her attention.

She quickly cast an inquisitive glance at Natasha, before getting back to stare at the circular, soothing motion on her hand, her eyebrows furrowed in thought.

"Russian?"

The redhead's movements stopped for just a moment, as she quizzically looked at Yelena, before she grasped the meaning behind the curt question.

"Ah..."

She shrugged slightly, her gaze dropping to their hands too — almost sheepishly, as Yelena curiously noticed — while she suddenly seemed completely absorbed in what she was doing.

"I— I just thought it would have helped bringing you back to me faster, I guess."

Back to her.

Yelena smiled feebly.

She brought up her other hand, letting go of the bedsheets she was still clutching at her side, and placed it on top of her sister's, giving a light squeeze.

"Thank you."

Natasha exhaled and nodded, still without looking up. She readjusted her hold on Yelena's hand, so that her fingers interlaced with those of the other one covering hers, then cleared her voice.

"So, what...what happened?"

Yelena swallowed thickly and took a steadying breath, the question not coming unanticipated.

She knew that she needed to at least try and explain herself.

"I remembered."

Natasha's eyes found hers again, a look of surprise now settled into them.

"Oh."

Yelena shifted uncomfortably under her piercing gaze.

She could see that it was only searching for something that could tell the other if talking about this was okay, and if she was okay, but it was making her feel...exposed. Extremely self-conscious and with nowhere to hide.

She wasn't used to it.

"The memories, they..."

She draw in a shaky breath and tried pushing through it.

The worry filling Natasha's eyes, the fear she had seen crossing her features just moments before, the slight insecurity now present in her every movement, it was all her doing.

She owed her this.

"It was...too much all at once, I suppose. I just— I couldn't take it. I shut down. Sorry."

Natasha shook her head, both of her thumbs now stroking the blonde's fingers and rubbing circles over the back of her hand.

"Don't be, it's alright. I'm— I'm not sure there's a proper way to handle this. Probably I would have done the same."

Yelena forcefully pushed away any sense of comfort the words were trying to offer her.

She gritted her teeth, suddenly feeling a wave of irritation at herself running through her body. It was raising and bubbling, and she couldn't help but let it spill over in her next words.

"It's just...usually it happens faster, or at least I snap back without blacking out, or whatever that was."

Her shoulders sagged in defeat and she shook her head, tiredly.

"I thought, with time, it would get better. Not...not this."

She closed her eyes trying to calm down and regain her composure, focusing only on taking long, slow breaths, and nothing else.

Until she heard Natasha speaking up again.

"Does this...happen often?"

Great.

Sighing, she looked up at her, already on the defensive, reading herself to be met by meditating green eyes filled with disbelief, pity, shock maybe, or even hurt in discovering all this just now.

But she found none of that.

No matter how hard she searched for more, all she could detect was the slightest surprise, along with genuine curiosity, and that same hint of concern that had yet to leave the other's gaze, and which had now subtly deepened.

She released a shaky breath, trying to relax.

This was Natasha. It was okay.

"No...no, not exactly. Some times more than others. But it's still better than it used to, so..."

Natasha remained quiet for a while, musing, her gaze lost.

Yelena looked up at her, seeing her swallowing, before she finally spoke up.

"You mean when you got back? After...after the blip?"

The blonde blinked, not expecting the question.

"I mean— yeah, that was...it was pretty bad."

She took a deep breath.

This was Natasha.

"But I also meant in the Red Room. You know, with the chemicals running through my body and...and everything."

She tightened her hold a little, not looking at the redhead.

"There wasn't much I could do about it then, it's not like I had a safe way to know what was real and what not."

Natasha's movements faltered, and Yelena immediately knew what was going on in her mind. She quickly went on, trying to keep her from falling back into a guilt spiral.

"So I guess I'm better now, but you— you saw that, you saw what happened. It still sucks, and I— I'm sorry, you—"

She shook her head, not really knowing how to continue.

Shutting her eyes, she let out a resigned sigh.

"I'm sorry."

She heard Natasha shuffling a little closer, her still crossed legs pressing against her own ankles, but she didn't dare look at her.

"Yelena, it's—"

"You keep saying it's okay, but clearly it's not!"

She froze for a moment, her eyes now wide open and taking in the redhead's startled expression, as a twinge of panic made herself wince.

She hadn't meant to raise her voice, but she didn't understand how Natasha could still pretend that everything was fine. How she could still want to stay here.

"I— it just keeps happening. Maybe less frequently, but it's still— I almost shot you!"

Natasha's jaw clenched, but she just kept staring back at her calmly, and she couldn't understand why.

"I almost shot you, and I still didn't— I couldn't recognize you, and it will happen again!"

The reality of her own words truily sunk in just then. She couldn't keep Natasha close, she couldn't ask her that, this.

Natasha shouldn't have wanted it in the first place.

"Yelena—"

The redhead's feeble attempt at drawing her attention was futile.

"I know it will happen again..."

The realization had left her torn.

She didn't want Natasha there, she couldn't pretend that from her. But she was scared of seeing her leaving one day, scared that she might decide to not come back, scared of what would happen to herself.

She was dangerous, and she knew it. A ticking bomb. But the thing was, she didn't want to be alone, not after rediscovering how good having someone actually felt.

Not again.

She locked eyes with the redhead, panic taking over. She didn't know what to do.

"I'm— I am messed up, and I might be broken, but I am not crazy, I swear, I'm not, I'm—"

Natasha shifted on the bed, surging forward and suddenly leaning above Yelena's knees to reach her forehead with hers.

She gently pushed the blonde's head until it bumped against the wall behind her, firmly keeping it in place.

After the initial shock wore off, Yelena let herself slump a bit, relishing the light pressure and focusing on Natasha's eyes, taking in the seriousness they held within.

She was left breathless by the hard, piercing look she was met with, but there was still an attentiveness there — promise of confidence and assurances — that prevented her from shying away.

"You are not crazy, and you are not broken."

The redhead talked like she wanted to engrave the words into her mind, keeping her pinned with her gaze.

"And maybe you're right, it's not fine, but what I meant is that it's okay if, sometimes, something is not."

She was speaking carefully, keeping her tone low and quiet, but to Yelena it was like she was shouting right into her ears.

Her breath hitched, and she draw their intertwined hands into her lap and closer against her stomach, hanging on the redhead's lips.

"There's nothing wrong with that. Not everything needs to be fine for it to work out."

Her voice had reduced to merely a whisper now, and Yelena fought not to let herself be lulled by it and bask in its warmth.

She was about to open her mouth and attempt a weak resistance, but Natasha wasn't done yet.

"So, you might not be fine. Maybe I'm not either. Maybe no one is ever completely fine, and that's okay."

Her fingers brushed the blonde's again, resuming their soothing pattern.

"You'll be okay."

Yelena squeezeed her eyes shut briefly, letting out a shuddering breath, before turning her gaze down toward their hands.

"How...how do you know that? If—"

Natasha pulled away just slightly to try and catch her eyes, giving her a significant look, a knowing smile teasing her lips.

"Because I'm older, so I'm wiser."

Then her gaze sobered and she went on in a softer tone.

"And I need you to trust me on this."

"That's—"

The blonde's eyebrows had furrowed in bewilderment at the first statement, but eventually she let out gentle huff and relaxed against the other's forehead, pushing a little in turn.

"I trust you."

Natasha gave her a small smile and released a breath, relaxing visibly — her chest tightened a little when she realized that her answer hadn't been so obvious to the redhead as it was to herself — before closing her eyes.

This time, Yelena kept looking at her, wanting to take in as much as she could of the rather rarely peaceful image unfolding around her.

They allowed themselves to simply be there for a few moments, just listening as their breathings mingled with the sounds of the night all around, reveling in each other presence.

She felt the redhead shift vaguely against her and saw her eyes slowly fluttering open.

A whisper seeped through the silence, still not quite breaking it.

"And even if you were crazy, why would that matter?"

Yelena was frozen in place when the other's gaze finally met hers. She didn't know what to say.

How do you even respond to that?

Natasha pulled away, lifting her head to bring her lips at the top of the bridge of her nose. After a moment of hesitation, she placed a kiss right between her eyebrows, lingering when Yelena let out a small sigh and momentarily closed her eyes at the contact.

She then withdrew all the way back, bringing their hands up onto the blonde's knees and letting her head rest on top of them.

Yelena kept staring back at her wordlessly, thinking about everything and nothing at all at the same time.

She had always known that Natasha had a soft side, and that she was one of the very few people that got to experience it, but it never failed to surprise her how at ease the other seemed to be in her company.

She was well aware that what they went through, it changed people, it made them lose the ability to trust, to rely on others, wary of contact, cautious, cold, hard.

Alone.

But Natasha was still there with her, touching her with no reluctance nor qualms — or at least, not about Yelena — and she was warm, and open to talk, and had always respected her boundaries and let her take her time and have her space.

Yelena had never thought she would ever let anybody see her own soft side. She hadn't even been sure she still had one, after years of harsh nothing.

She had never imagined she would have let herself be this comfortable around another living human being — living, and breathing, and moving, that could want and pretend things, that could come and go as they pleased, that could leave when things from her own past would eventually come out — but she didn't have to worry about any of that with Natasha.

She knew her. And what she didn't know, she still understood.

It was nice, not having to worry.

A good feeling.

One she didn't want to let go of.

But it had already happened, twice.

And it had left her scared, and cold, and alone again.

Then, recently, she had started to find herself happy more and more often, unconsciously getting used to the feeling, and it was terrifying.

It was terrifying because it could end any moment, and all she could do was wait in fear, spiraling out of control and hopelessly trying to keep herself together, struggling not to lose any piece along the way like she almost did tonight.

She knew eventually it would all end, it was life, and life was ruthless, and merciless, and it leaves you with nothing, one way or another.

And she couldn't escape it.

She couldn't escape.

"A penny for your thoughts?"

Yelena blinked, slowly coming back to the present, the fog clearing once again.

Natasha was staring at her in concealed concern, still leaning on her knees with her head propped on their hands, her attempt of a smirk not reaching past the curve of her lips.

She furrowed her brow.

"What?"

The other seemed to untense a little at her response, releasing a breath before shrugging slightly.

"I don't know. It's something weird americans say when asking what you're thinking of. It took me a while to figure that one out. I didn't understand why Clint would want to pay me in the first place."

There was a beat of silence while Yelena took in the new information thrown at her.

"I'm pretty sure pennies are british, Natasha."

The redhead snorted softly, tilting her head to the side and resting her cheek against her knuckles, rolling her eyes.

"Yeah, whatever. I told you it was weird."

Her smile died down a little as she turned her attention back on the blonde.

"So, what's on your mind?"

Yelena leaned her head back against the wall, letting out a resigned breath.

She carefully slid one of her hands out from where it was tucked under the other's chin, bringing it up to push some strands of hair out of Natasha's face and behind her ear, her fingers skimming over the silver earrings.

She then placed her fingertips against the other's forehead, her thumb brushing along the bridge of her nose all the way to the tip.

Her digits started running over every bit of skin she could reach, following her jawline, her chin, up to her ear and over her eyelids, slowly tracing her features.

Finally, she cupped her cheek, her movements coming to a stop.

Natasha simply closed her eyes and leaned into the touch, letting her do what she needed.

Her thumb stroked a little spot there, grazing a wrinkle near the corner of her sister's eye.

It wasn't there the last time she had took the time to look this closely at her.

More than five years ago, apparently.

She took in a shuddering breath, keeping her eyes locked on that little reminder of the passing of time.

"It will happen again. Eventually. You'll die."

And you'll leave me behind.

Natasha stiffened, holding her breath for a moment as she cracked her eyes open.

Yelena quickly went on.

"If I don't die first, of course."

She saw the redhead's jaw clenching, an unreadable expression taking over her eyes.

Yelena could tell she was debating about saying something or not, so she patiently waited for her.

Eventually, she released a soft breath, whispering quietly.

"Yeah. I think about that, too."

Natasha turned her head slightly in the blonde's hand, trying to hide her own distress by placing a kiss on her wrist.

The admission didn't surprise Yelena as much as she felt it should have.

She gently cradled Natasha's head as it leaned heavily into her palm.

"It's just...not fair."

The redhead's lips curled up in a faint smile.

"No, it's not. It has never been."

Yelena knew what she meant. All the time they had lost, all the things that were stolen from them, the experiences they could never get back. "But we're here now. We still made it." Yelena nodded slightly, trying to swallow the lump that was forming in her throat. It felt nice to finally be talking about it, but it didn't make it any less hard. "And I think..." Natasha trailed off, trying to collect her thoughts and choose the right words. "I think it's okay to be scared of that, too." She brought up one of her hands to cover the back of Yelena's, still on her face. "After the blip, I thought I had lost you. That I couldn't protect you for a second time. And for five years, I thought about it every day." The words were coming out strained, but Natasha kept pushing through. Yelena didn't want to make her relive memories that were clearly painful, but she didn't find in herself to stop her. She needed to hear them, she wanted to keep listening, and be part of whatever Natasha was letting her in. "Then came the chance to bring you all back, and finally I could do something. But that meant..." She let out a shuddering breath, shaking her head, while the blonde's chest tightened. "And I couldn't let Clint— I couldn't, I had just gotten him back too, and if that worked, then Laura, the kids, they—" Yelena squeezed the hand that she was still holding, the thumb of her other one brushing away a tear that had escaped Natasha's eye. It had pained her that her sister had considered Barton's life more worthy of saving than her own, and she had felt rage at knowing that she had given up the chance of being there when Yelena would have returned. But she understood now.

And it pained her that she understood that it had really been Natasha's only choice. "I had resigned myself to never see you again. But this time I was okay with that, bucause I knew you would...you would have been okay." Yelena's vision was getting blurry. She wanted to say something, remind her that she hadn't been okay, she had almost killed her best friend and thrown her sacrifice in the air, but the words were stuck in her throat. "So, when I got back, this time we have right now, it felt like a gift. And since I started seeing it that way, the thought of it being too short is a little less scary." She smiled weakly. "It's not always ideal, but it helps." Yelena's brow furrowed as she thought it over. She had never believed that life would bestow any gift, not to her. But she couldn't deny that Natasha's perspective was comforting, and she wanted to believe it, too — believe that it was finally their turn. She thought that, at least, she could pretend for a bit. Her attention was suddenly caught by the seriousness that appeared behind the other's eyes, which kept intently searching her owns, until Natasha averted her gaze and spoke again. "If I'll go because I'll die, that won't be my choice. It will never be my choice to leave you. So, please know, I won't be actually leaving you. I'll still be there, right with you, just...differently. I need you to know that." Natasha never raised her eyes as the words left her, and that's how Yelena knew they were coming from one of the deepest parts of her. Talking sincerely never came easy, especially for them. They were taught it was dangerous to trust anybody with bits of you, so it was better to hide it all under layers and layers and layers, until you almost forgot it existed yourself. Yet, here Natasha was, digging and pushing everything aside, every layer, every excuse, every lie, baring herself right in front of her. "And I don't know if there's something after death, I don't...I don't remember anything from Vormir, I'm not even sure that counts. But if there is, I'll be right there waiting for you, whenever your turn might be. Anywhere, in any form, I don't care. I can assure you this, and I need you to believe it. Please." Natasha raised her eyes to look at her expectantly, hesitation written all over her face, but she was forcing her gaze to remain steady. Yelena pulled her hand away from the other's face and brought it up to her own eyes to hastily try and clear her vision. Then she nodded, her throat tight. Natasha's hands were now both around her other one again, and she felt them squeeze gently as the redhead let out a shaky sigh of relief. They were both quiet for a while, until, to Yelena's surprise, Natasha shifted a little uncomfortably and broke the silence once again, whispering like she was talking to herself.

"And you are not broken, because—"

She visibly swallowed, before settling on continuing.

"Because I'm not. Clint told me that, and he made it pretty clear."

Yelena frowned, looking at her questioningly.

Natasha met her gaze briefly.

"I—"

She cleared her voice, suddenly looking extremely self-conscious.

"Do you mind...do you want to lay down?"

Yelena felt like the other wouldn't be able to keep talking if they remained sitting face to face, so she nodded.

Whatever it was that she wanted to say must've been particularly personal, and the blonde felt a strange mix of eagerness and worry growing within herself.

Natasha seemed to appreciate her understanding, squeezing her hand one last time before letting go. She then pulled back and moved away, shifting on the bed until she was with her back against the wall, right at her side.

Yelena scooted forward and laid herself down, turning on her side so she could still look at Natasha, whose legs were once again stretched out in front of her.

The redhead eyed her appreciatively, before reaching down and starting to run her fingers through her hair, looking away.

Yelena closed her eyes at the feeling, drawing a little nearer and silently waiting for her to say something.

Finally, she heard her taking in a steadying breath.

"The first days after Steve took me back, I felt...constantly dazed, light-headed, not— not really okay. But everything was still blurry and confused, and I was so relieved to see you all again, to have you finally back, that I— I didn't care, I thought it was normal, I wanted to pretend that everything was fine."

Yelena looked up at her.

She was staring straight ahead, her gaze lost but focused.

"Then I started to feel more...more present, and it was okay, that was good, I thought...I thought I was okay."

Her voice wavered toward the end, the hand in Yelena's hair now still.

The blonde noticed that the hand in Natasha's lap had resumed its fidgeting, her fingers scratching and rubbing against each other in nervousness.

She brought up her own hand and placed it on top of them, making the movements coming to a stop.

After only a moment, Natasha took hold of it with both of hers and started to play gently with her fingers.

"But there were still times where I felt...distant, far away. Detached from where I was and what I was doing. I needed things to ground myself, to keep myself in the present, but that was not always...it didn't always work."

Yelena suddenly thought back to a few times when she had found Natasha to be acting a little strange.

The redhead would suddenly appear at her side out of nowhere, or draw closer to take her hand while not even looking in her direction, seemingly focused on something else.

A couple of times, she had even found herself unexpectedly wrapped in the other's arms — which had no apparent reason to be holding her that tightly — all the while not a word had been uttered from the both of them.

She had simply thought that after five years believing she was dead, Natasha sometimes needed to make sure that she was really there.

Maybe she was only partly right.

"And in those moments I felt— I felt wrong. Not necessarily about myself, but about everything else."

The redhead's hold tightened a little.

Yelena realized that she had been holding her breath and forced herself to let it go, trying to keep it under control.

"I was happy to be back, I really— but it all felt wrong. Like I didn't belong there."

After that, she went quiet.

Yelena glanced up at her and saw that her jaw was clenched, her posture grown stiff, while she was still staring into nothingness.

She found enough strength in herself to talk in a whisper.

"Why didn't you say anything?"

She already knew why. Of course she did.

But she still wanted to hear it.

Natasha took her time to breathe in and out, shutting her eyes.

"I didn't tell you, because I didn't want to upset you."

Here it was.

Yelena nodded even if she couldn't see her, pondering her words.

"Have you told someone?"

Natasha winced imperceptibly, her breath hitching.

"I...talked to Laura, one night. She had noticed something was off, and that time it was— I got really scared, I—"

Yelena shuffled closer and nudged the side of her leg with her nose and forehead, trying to convey that she wasn't mad.

That she understood.

The redhead seemed to relax a little, opening her eyes and flashing her an apologetic look.

"Then Clint got there too. They made me talk, they asked questions, they kept saying it was okay. And the more I talked, the more I felt...there. Like it was not only in my head anymore."

Yelena was not angry, nor disappointed. She just wished she could have done more.

"I'm glad you did. Talk to someone, I mean. That you have them."

She squeezed her hands briefly.

"And I'm proud of you for reaching out."

Natasha nodded slowly, getting back to tracing shapes and meaningless patterns on her hand and around her fingers.

"Sometimes I still feel like that, you know. Like I don't belong in the moment. But then I think about you, Clint and his family, Steve and the guys, and I...I really don't want to be anywhere else."

Yelena glanced up again and saw that she was now staring at her.

"And what do you do?"

A flicker of guilt flashed across Natasha's face, but this time she held her gaze.

"Usually I try to talk with Clint. It's— it's gotten better since I started doing it."

Yelena thought about it for a moment, and she could feel the redhead's piercing eyes searching her owns in growing distress.

Finally she resolved to hesitantly pose the very question that had been buzzing inside of her since the beginning.

"Will you...will you talk to me, too, next time?"

Natasha released a breath and some of the tension in her body with it, but she looked down at her uncertainly.

"I don't want to make you deal with this, you don't need to. I can—"

"But I want to."

She seemed taken aback by the abrupt interruption.

"I want to know what's going on in your mind, too."

Yelena was staring at her resolutely, hoping the other could see the seriousness and honesty behind her words, and accept them.

Accept her and let her in, too.

Natasha stared at her for a few moments, pondering silently.

"Okay."

The blonde blinked a couple of times in surprise at the quick response, then she broke into a little smile, before Natasha spoke again.

"But you'll have to let me help you through this, too."

The relief on her face rapidly faded away, and she frowned.

Of course that wouldn't have come without a negotiation.

But this, her...it was different.

She couldn't trust herself.

Natasha was still looking at her expectantly, and she couldn't hold her gaze any longer.

She slowly shook her head.

"I don't want to hurt you."

Natasha brought one hand back down to her hair and started combing through it, moving away the blonde locks that had fallen on her face.

"You won't. And we'll figure this out. Together."

Yelena rested her forhead against the side of her thigh and closed her eyes, huffing.

"You know this is not your fault, right?"

She felt her shifting slightly and instantly knew she was about to try and argue back.

"Yelena—"

"It's not. You don't need to make up for anything."

The other stayed quiet for a while, and she wondered if maybe this was the right time she could get it through her head.

But she started to think that it was an impossible task when she heard Natasha taking in a breath to speak again.

She would never stop trying, though.

"It will always be my fault, you cannot change that. But that's not why I want to do this."

Natasha could be very obstinate when she put her mind to something, no news here.

Right now, it was pointless to even try and talk some sense into her, and the blonde was way too exhausted for that.

Yelena shrugged and sighed.

"Yeah, have it your way. Then why are you so stubborn that—"

"Because I love you."

Yelena's eyes snapped open and her breath hitched at the naturalness in the redhead's tone.

It's not like it had been left unsaid between them, but it was still such a relatively new concept — for them both — that the way it had slipped out so easily from Natasha's lips this time had left her lost.

There was no reason for it, nothing special had happened, no tragic event or heartfelt reunion, and it definitely hadn't come out as a joke.

She had said it like it was the most obvious thing in the world, and it had felt...different.

But nice.

Like a dim warmth that softly spread and settled in under the surface, a steady consciousness slowly taking root.

She turned her head further against Natasha's leg to hide her dangerously crumbling expression and shiny eyes, lost for words and her throat tight.

The redhead held her head securely, pulling her closer without ceasing to stroke her hair and toying with the tips, her other hand still firmly grasping Yelena's.

Eventually, the blonde hesitantly let go of her hand in favor of grabbing the hem of Natasha's shirt, lightly tugging her down.

Her sister seemed to understand the message, pulling away a little and starting to reposition herself.

Yelena scooted back to give her more space to lie down, and waited until she was completely settled to shuffle nearer and lean her head against her shoulder.

Natasha shifted to make herself more comfortable, slipping one arm underneath the blonde's body and around her waist to pull her close, so that she was now tucked against her side.

A peaceful quiet filled the room once again as they were both lost in their own thoughts.

Yelena focused on the sensation of Natasha's fingers fiddling with the folds of her shirt, which had slightly wrinkled up from all the moving and turning.

She could hear her soft breaths just above her head, see the ribcage expand with each one of them right under the redhead's other arm, that was placidly resting on her stomach.

She fought the sudden urge to drape her own forearm over her chest to feel its regular raising and falling, opting instead to safely snuck it between their bodies, clasping it against herself.

She found it was easier now, laying here like this, to think back to the events of the night, so she took some time and did just that, the possibility of risking another episode not feeling so scary anymore.

It was then that she realized something.

"I think...I blacked out because I felt safe enough to do so."

And it was true.

She had never allowed herself to shut off everything around her since being freed from the mind control, there was no safe place for her to do it.

She wasn't ready to trust the world, and maybe she would never be.

But she could try and trust Natasha.

The redhead let out a soft hum in acknowledgement, then she reached to take her hand in hers, gently extricating it to bring it up to her lips and press a quick kiss on her fingers, before holding it to her chest.

"I would be lying if I said you didn't scare me...but now I know, and I'm here, we're both here, so that's the only thing I care about."

Yelena felt a twinge of pain at remembering those first months after being blipped back, and she wondered if that was how Natasha had felt for five whole years.

She lightly clutched the fabric under her hand, feeling her sister's steady heartbeat beneath her palm.

Guilt and shame resurfaced once again within her, as she thought about the state she had let herself be found in by the redhead.

"Maybe...maybe I should have said something, I'm sorry. It's just—"

"You don't need to explain anything, it's okay. I mean, I would have preferred to know sooner, but you did what it felt right to you, and that is enough for me."

Yelena frowned, peering up at her and lowering her voice.

"Yeah, but I made you worry."

"Stop that, I can assure you, I've had worse."

Saying this, Natasha tightened her hold around her, and the blonde quietened, knowing precisely what she was talking about.

She finally let go of the redhead's shirt and wrapped her arm securely around her middle, Natasha's now free hand moving up to her shoulder and absently starting to play with her sleeve.

The soft rumbles of the occasional cars passing down the streets had become even more sporadic now, and there was mostly silence around them.

Yelena was almost starting to consider closing her eyes and let herself be lulled by it, before it was suddenly broken by Natasha's soft whisper.

"I was thinking..."

She instantly pushed aside any proposition of sleep, moving her chin above the other's shoulder to give her her undivided attention.

Natasha wasn't looking at her, focused on a spot on the ceiling.

"If we're to do this...this helping-eachother thing, if we are— I mean, it could be a great excuse to find ourselves in the same city, in the same place more...often..."

She trailed off, swallowing and not adding anything else, leaving the next move to Yelena, whose eyebrows had drawn together in confusion.

She wasn't exactly sure about where the redhead was trying to go with this.

"You mean like...spend more time together?"

Natasha huffed and let out a soft chuckle that reverberated under Yelena's body, slowly shaking her head.

"Yeah, I suppose...if you're okay with it, and when you have time of course. I just want—"

She faltered and then abruptly stopped, making the blonde grow curious.

She tilted her head a little to try having a better look at her face, noticing the hint of nervousness that had appeared in her expression as the other shifted her gaze on everything in the room but her.

"You want what?"

Natasha froze and glanced at her briefly, before sighing in defeat and uttering her next words tentatively.

"I would like to spend as much time as I can with you."

Yelena stared at her wordlessly, trying to decipher the seriousness behind her statement and assessing the level of commitment that was being implied.

Maybe taking her silence as reluctancy, Natasha went on to explain further, still averting her gaze, but with a determination that wasn't there before.

"Like we said, we've already lost a lot of time. And I was wrong thinking it would be better to separate you and my Avenger-life. So far, it did nothing in keeping you safer or giving you any sense of normalcy."

She took a deep breath, before turning her head a little to meet the blonde's eyes as best she could.

"I'm not making the same mistake twice."

Yelena swallowed hard, trying to keep in check her own emotions and keep her thoughts rational.

"But...what about the Avengers? And the Bartons, and...?

Natasha eyed her with genuine curiousity.

"What about them?"

Now she was really tempted to think that the redhead was messing with her.

Was it really not obvious?

Was she missing something?

She looked at her skeptically.

"I mean...aren't they your family? Shouldn't you be there for them? Stay with them?"

She saw her expression relaxing a bit as realization settled in behind Natasha's eyes, feeling her whole body suddenly untensing under hers.

The redhead considered it for a moment, then stared at Yelena with a dept that sent shivers down her spine.

"They are, but...at the end of the day, they have their own families. Just like I have you."

She hesitated for only a second.

"We're family, no?"

She had tried to ask it lightheartedly, in an attempt to partially get rid of the solemnity from before, but it was clearly coated with slight uncertainty and a nervous hopefulness.

Yelena blinked in shock at her words, taking it all in.

When it became evident that Natasha was waiting for an actual answer from her — and that she was definitely not joking — she set her jaw, turning her face and shifting a little to bury it in the crook of the redhead's neck, breathing out.

"Yeah."

Natasha let out a little sigh of relief, pulling her closer and almost drawing half of her body on top of herself.

She let her, sinking in the embrace and abandoning herself to the feeling of not having to be ready to fight at any given moment for once.

Of letting someone else look out for her.

It almost felt wrong, getting rid of that weight, but it felt too good to actually be wrong.

"What did I even do to deserve this?"

Natasha shrugged, starting to lightly draw one of her hands across her back, her fingers ghosting over those spots where she knew the blonde wore some of her worst scars.

"You just had to be yourself."

After a beat, Yelena let out a huff in mild disbelief, trying to hide away by pushing her face further against her. "That's sappy." But she couldn't help the smile that formed on her lips as she heard a short, quiet laugh resonating in the redhead's throat, before Natasha rested a cheek against her temple. "Sometimes sappy is fine." Yelena thought about it. She turned slightly to press her nose under her jaw and closed her eyes, taking a deep breath. Yeah, she could live with that. For the first time in maybe forever, there was nothing to worry about, nothing that couldn't be dealt with in the morning. And she wouldn't be alone this time. In a random and small apartment, far away from Russia, far away from America, she was feeling the safest she ever had, like nothing could touch — or even get near — her, and that for a while she could just be. Letting a few minutes ticking by, she noted that Natasha's breaths were starting to become longer and slower. Moving cautiously, she placed a final kiss on the redhead's neck before trying to make herself more comfortable, shuffling a little down her body to go rest her head right under Natasha's collarbone. She liked falling asleep like this, pressed against the redhead's chest, the prickling of the fabric of an old SHIELD t-shirt turned into sleepwear against her skin, keeping her grounded, with the heartbeat directly below her ear as a reminder that her sister was here, alive. And she knew that Natasha, even though she never said it out loud, found deeply soothing finally being able to hold her like this, to feel her tangible and real — there between her arms, after five years spent picturing the blonde crumble into a pile of ashes somewhere unknown, like her friends and half of the universe had done just in front of her. Yelena nuzzled her nose against her shirt, taking back her focus only on the present. She was here, and she was okay. Natasha was here, with her, and she was okay, too. Nothing else mattered. As her eyes were slowly sliding closed, she suddenly remembered something, something she needed to say. She whispered as quietly as she could, trying not to disturb the warm stillness around them, the words coming out slightly muffled from were she was pressed against the redhead. "I love you too, by the way." Nothing happened for a few seconds, and she was already mentally noting to repeat it in the morning, when Natasha shifted sleepily and bent a little to place a kiss on the top of her head. Repositioning herself, she adjusted her arms around Yelena, as she nestled better into her, and she slowly started running her fingers up and down her spine. Yelena sighed and closed her eyes, this time allowing herself to easily drift off. She was finally home. They both were.

Did you know I'd run all day

Just to maybe hear you say

That you are falling too

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archivomeow · 25 days

Text

yelena belova is aroace.

Yelena Belova is canonically aroace.

Lately people dismissing that has been getting on my nerves VERY much, so I’m making this post lol.

First the terminology:

Aromantic — an individual who doesn’t experience romantic attraction.

Asexual — an individual that doesn’t experience sexual attraction.

AroSpec — spectrum that includes different aromantic identities, from aros who don’t feel romantic attraction to those who do under certain circumstances or rarely.

AceSpec — spectrum that includes different asexual identities, from aces who don’t feel sexual attraction to those who do under certain circumstances or rarely.

So first thing i will put here is this;

This in my humble opinion should be enough of a proof, but apparently it is not.

First this part of an interview, the person speaking is a creator/co-creator of Yelena. She says she is most likely to identify as asexual than to follow Nat’s romantic path. Hinting at both aro & ace.

So in the comics Yelena shows no interest dating, as far as i am aware she has no romantic interest in the comics. She is repulsed by sex, she calls herself „nothing” referring to her sexual identity.

As much as many like to say she is a lesbian, she is not, how fucking stupid you sound, honestly. She says it herself, if I said I’m not a lesbian, would you question it? No? Then don’t question her, she says she is not a lesbian, she has no wlw storyline. Drop the fucking lesbian hc.

Some possible foreshadowing in the MCU

1. When she is talking with a widow and a former Ana (show: Hawkeye), there is a line said by the widow accompanying her: „…you and Natasha can be reunited again and live your sex in the city fantasy”.

^ Yelena leaves the room, as soon as the word „sex” is mentioned her face drops, then we have this scene where she’s looking at herself in the mirror.

2. When talking about kids and family (movie: Black Widow) she mentions she wants a dog.

3. When describing „fake story” of her life she made up because her birth certificate was burnt she says Natasha has a husband and talks about her parents, but mentions nothing about her husband or possible spouses or children. (movie: Black Widow)

4. Yelena tends to wear a lot of aro/ace flag colors.

green coat & purple lipstick (green = aro | purple = ace)

yellow & blue colors = aroace flag

Overall Yelena wears a lot of green and white and black together, aromantic flag colors.

^^ can you call that „over the top?” yeah sure… let me remind yall something else:

when enid wore this sweather yall went WILD.

but when Yelena is wearing aroace colors all the time it’s called „reaching”…?

I will continue this with even more, because while you can agree with me and say she is aroace, still there will be people who claim she is aroace, agree, but then this fucking argument comes into place:

„AROS CAN DATE”

„ACES CAN FUCK”

„QPRS EXIST”

Do you see what’s wrong with those sentences? Nothing.

There’s a „but” thoooo…

There is nothing wrong with those, but using those arguments to totally ignore her sexuality ship her and treat her like suddenly she is allo is not it.

Yelena has shown no interest in dating or sex, we can assume she is sex-repulsed as she has shows repulsion to sex and she is to me at least implied to be romance-repulsed.

And we’ve found the problem.

Sex Repulsed Aces are as you can imagine repulsed by sex. Romance Repulsed Aros are repulsed by romance… So how is someone repulsed by said things engaging in said interaction and is not repulsed by them???

I think it’s a great idea to write her into said situations to show she is repulsed and to show it’s okay, because her life, my life, the lives of other uninterested in such thing aro/ace, our lives don’t end here.

Using how some people navigate through their sexuality to justify this is wrong.

You wouldn’t write a lesbian with a man, because bi lesbians exist and she may be a bi lesbian, right?

^ just an fyi, that’s an example, the term bi-lesbian is extremely harmful to both bisexuals and lesbians. check out this for more.

The QPR dilemma is that you don’t understand what a QPR is… it’s not more than friends…it’s not in the middle, it’s out of the regular binary of relationships. Relationships I actually think are QPRs:

Friends with benefits — purely platonic, but you fuck.

Situationship — just friends that do romantic stuff together, unless you call it a romantic relationship, with the other person agreeing on that, it is not one.

QPRs are amazing and beautiful, but it’s not always about fucking and kissing and „acting like a couple” but being a QPR. It can be being friends and living together, not temporary. It can be being friends and co-parenting. It can be many things.

But as I said Yelena is repulsed, why would someone repulsed by sex/romance engage in said thing happily with no doubts, fears, negative feelings just because it’s a qpr, so it’s suddenly fine…?

This is for now all I have to say about this.

As an AroAce, who desires no romantic relationship or a sexual one please please please let us have this representation, for once in our fucking lives.

MORE OF MY POSTS ON YELENA BEING AROACE AND ARO/ACE LINKS LINKED HERE:

answering an anon-ask.

more talk about the comic panel.

harmful aro stereotypes.

shipping aroaces + yelena belova.

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belovas-vest · 1 year

Text

artistotle pt i: then something broke in me

prompt: “to appreciate the beauty of a snowflake, it is necessary to stand out in the cold” - aristotle

pairing: yelena & natasha (dead), yelena & kate (very minor)

words: 744

rating: g for get the tissues (i’m very sorry)

notes: unbeta’d. canon compliant. this will be a two parter, but this actually hit too close to home and i need a break. also blame florence welch!

"to appreciate the beauty of a snowflake, it is necessary to stand out in the cold."

yelena blinks expectantly at kate, her mind processing whatever the hell kate's just said. they're laying down on the floor of her apartment, drunk off of the most expensive vodka yelena has ever had the pleasure of drinking. it's dangerous really because she's used to the kind that tastes like rubbing alcohol and makes your eyes water. kate has essentially given her water making it easy to keep drinking. however, they're celebrating the simple fact that kate is about to start her very last semester of college and yelena has no commitments tomorrow (not that it would matter, she can do her job hungover, thank you very much). yelena clutches the bottle to her chest and when she repeats in her head kate's exact words, she smiles, and then she laughs because only kate bishop could say something so profoundly stupid and wondrously beautiful at the same time.

and then it hits her like a semi barreling down a highway and slipping on ice. hypothetical breaks don't stand a chance.

it's been a little over a year and her sister's death still stings in her chest. it makes her throat twist in a way that makes it difficult to breathe, like she can't take a deep breath without doubling over in a coughing fit. she tries not to think about it at all, really. it's easier to pretend it doesn't hurt, easy to never dwell on the memories of her sister because then those memories can't cause her any more pain. avoidance is easy when you're always working or spending time with people who never knew your sister as more than an avenger. she realizes then that she hardly even talks about natasha now and the guilt wraps her up so tightly she feels panicked. she tries to think about natasha, think about the memories of their time together and how they feel so distant now. she feels impossibly weak as the sadness overcomes her in waves and she desperately tries to swim out of it.

she can't think straight and it's beginning to consume her with a sadness and anger she thought she left behind on that ice rink with clint barton. she's supposed to be happy now, right? why doesn't she get to feel okay or when does she get to feel okay again? after all of that suffering, here kate bishop is telling her that she's supposed to see something good or happy or beautiful. something. and yet, she's left with nothing but this overwhelming sadness when she's supposed to be happy for her friend.

but she's never been a happy drunk; not even around kate bishop who is, arguably, the goofiest drunk person there is. the pain of her life lingers in her chest and maybe it always will, she thinks. maybe that's an inevitable thing she'll always have to wrestle with. she had thought maybe her sister would've helped her navigate through it; they could take on new york and all of the trauma from their childhood and fix themselves as easily as stitching their physical wounds had been. and, okay, maybe it was naive to think that, emotional scars are never as easy to deal with, but at least she would have had someone who had also been ripped from that home in ohio and brutally trained into some killer against their own will. other widows were not her sisters, just girls who had been traumatized the same way as her. there is a certain — not special — kind of bond with them, but it's still not the same. it hurts to think that none of them should have had to go through all that pain and suffering to try and see the world in a more beautiful light.

she certainly doesn't see the world in a better light for it.

she can't.

won't.

she sits up to drink straight from the bottle just as they have been all night. in her peripheral vision, she can see kate sitting up as well.

"sorry." kate says quietly and yelena wishes she hadn't said anything at all. acknowledging the fact that she's not okay right now feels like a winter soldier punch to the gut and it pisses her off.

yelena thinks pain and suffering are inevitable and she's not sure that's ever going to change no matter assuringly kate tries to smile at her.

#bishova fanfic #yelena belova fanfic #mine: writing

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nastybuckybarnes · 1 year

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Comfortable

Pairing: Bucky X Reader

Summary: Bucky finds out that you’ve never climaxed during intimacy and he’s not happy about that.

Warnings: Smut, Crying during sex, Overstimulation (mental and physical), Language, Fluff, Minor Angst but not really

Word Count: 2.8K

A/n: Kinda based on life but without bucky coming in and setting things straight lol. I’ve also got the first like 5 parts of a new series written, so that’ll be coming soon hehe. anyway, I hope you guys enjoy, and I love you all very much!

~*~

“I don’t know, Nat, I just... I guess I’m just never... I don’t know. I’m in my head a lot, I guess.”

The redhead snickers, elbowing her sister and sharing a look with her before both of their gazes return to yours.

“Barnes lacking?”

You shake your head quickly, trying to clear his name.

“No! No, God no! He just... it’s not him, it’s me. I think too much, I’m focused on making sure it’s good for him, making sure he finishes that I... I don’t know.”

Yelena purses her lips, “does he know he hasn’t made you cum yet?”

You swallow hard and shake your head, dropping your gaze to your lap.

“I... I fake it.”

The assassins exchange glances again and you huff a sigh.

“He’s good, he’s really good and he makes me feel good and I get close but... I just can’t... I can’t cum. And it’s not like it’s just him, I’ve never cum with anybody I’ve been with. I just... can’t do it. Maybe I’m broken,” you whisper that last part mostly to yourself, but both women jump in and shake their heads.

“It’s an intimate thing. You probably just want to feel one hundred percent comfortable with the person before giving that last bit of yourself to them. Orgasming with a partner for the first time is... intense. You should talk to him about it, tell him the truth and explain it. Maybe you guys need more foreplay, maybe you need to be in control more, but you’ll only figure it out by talking to him about it.”

You bite your bottom lip and shake your head at Natasha, “I don’t wanna hurt his feelings though, Nat. I just... how the hell do I gently tell him that he hasn’t made me cum and I've been faking it the whole time?”

Two sets of trained eyes dart over your shoulder just as you hear the door to your apartment shut.

Tension pulls your shoulders up and you squeeze your eyes shut, praying that he didn’t hear you.

The way the two Russians in front of you press their lips into thin lines gives you your answer, and you drop your head forward, hating the fact that this is now a conversation you need to have with your boyfriend.

“Well uh, I think we should take that as our cue to leave,” Yelena says awkwardly, pressing on a smile and offering Bucky a small wave as she rises to her feet, Natasha following after.

You stay rooted in place on the couch, refusing to even acknowledge his presence as he putters about in the kitchen, waiting until your friends leave before finally making his way into the living room.

Your eyes don’t leave your hands as he takes a seat on the floor in front of you, his hands, one cold and one warm, finding yours and squeezing gently.

“I’m sorry,” you whisper, squeezing your eyes shut and trying to take deep breaths.

If you were to look at him, you’d see that his face is confused, not angry. Not a hint of anger could be found within him. If anything, he’s upset that you hadn’t told him before. That you didn’t feel comfortable confiding in him and telling him the truth.

The entire time he was under the impression that you were enjoying the sex and getting just as much out of it as he was.

“Why are you apologizing, sweet girl?”

You sniffle and shake your head, fear icing your veins.

You don’t want him to be mad at you and you don’t want him to feel offended.

“I just... I’m sorry.”

He shakes his head and reaches one hand up to cup your jaw, raising your head enough so that you finally, finally look into his eyes.

Your beautiful eyes are filled with tears and it makes his heart ache in his chest.

“Why the tears, honey, what’s wrong?”

You shake your head and sniffle, dropping your gaze only to raise it when he squeezes your chin.

“C’mon, sweet girl, you can talk to me. I... I don’t want you to ever be afraid to talk to me, okay? What’s got you so upset?”

You take a deep breath and squeeze his hand, trying to muster up your courage.

“I just... I don’t want to make you mad.”

He furrows his brows and shakes his head, absolutely flabbergasted at the fact that you think he’d be mad at you for being honest.

“Why would I ever be mad, baby? If you’re upset, I wanna know what I can do to make you feel better.”

You take another deep breath then slowly nod.

“I just... I know that sex is a sensitive topic for a lot of guys. Especially... their performance. And yours is great! The sex is great and I love it and you’re amazing! I just... I haven’t... ya’know. I never have with anyone else either. I’m starting to think that I can only do it by myself,” you whisper glumly, your shoulders sinking in.

Bucky is quiet for a moment. He’d already heard every word you’d spoken to Natasha and Yelena, and, he’s not gonna lie, it punches at his pride to know that his girl isn't enjoying it as much as he is. All he wants is for you to feel your best in every aspect of life.

“Well, why don’t we talk about this a bit more, huh? You said that it’s not just me, but everyone you’ve been with?”

He knows this isn’t about him, it’s about you, but he really hopes that you’re not trying to soften the blow. If other people have made you cum, he wants to know how and when and then he wants to cut their fingers off for ever touching you.

You nod, sniffling. “Yeah, I just... I don’t know if I get in my head too much or if I’m... not comfortable enough, but I just... I can’t.”

He nods slowly, trying to gather his thoughts and figure out a solution.

“What can I do to make you more comfortable, honey?”

You shake your head and push to your feet, hating every word of this conversation.

“I am comfortable with you, Buck. I just... forget I said anything, it doesn’t matter anyway.”

His long fingers wind around your wrist, stopping you from fleeing like you so desperately want to.

“It does matter, honey. It matters a lot, actually. I’m not mad and I’m not offended. I just... I want you to feel the same intimacy that I feel when we have sex. It’s... amazing. And I want you to experience it. So tell me how I can make you feel better.”

Your glossy eyes raise to his and, when you see nothing but honesty and love, you nod slowly.

“I don’t know what’s missing or what needs to happen. You’ve got me really close, but I just.. maybe I think about it too much? I don’t know.”

He cups your cheeks and presses the softest kiss to your forehead.

“You’re gonna need to direct me, baby. Next time, you’re gonna need to tell me what you like, what feels good, okay? And when you get close, you tell me and I’m gonna keep going until you actually cum, is that all right?”

You nod again.

“Okay.”

He kisses your lips gently then pulls you into a tight embrace.

“Okay.”

~*~

The next time the opportunity to be intimate arises, it’s after a small get-together at Yelena’s place.

You’ve already had a sizeable glass of wine, and now all you want is your boyfriend’s hands on your body.

He pushes open the door to your shared apartment, a grin on his lips as you pepper kisses along his jawline.

“Hey, sweetheart. You want something? Hmm?”

You nod, lips not leaving his skin as you push his jacket off of his shoulders.

“C’mere.” His metal arm dips beneath your thighs, hoisting you up, while his flesh arm wraps around your waist, keeping you held tightly against his chest as you wrap your legs around him.

He leads the two of you through the apartment and into the bedroom, laying you down gently on the bed and pulling away to pull his shirt off.

You shimmy out of your dress and toss it to the ground, leaving you only in your matching black lace set.

Bucky’s eyes devour your figure and he’s quick to shed his pants and join you on the bed, crawling between your legs and smoothing his hands over your thighs.

“How you feelin’, pretty girl? You okay?”

You nod, bottom lip tucked between your teeth as he looks at you like you’re the only woman on the planet.

And to him, you might as well be.

“You gonna let me eat you out, baby? Please?”

How could you possibly say no to that?

When you nod at him, he grins, beyond pleased, and slides his fingers beneath the fabric on your hips.

He pulls your panties down your legs and brings them up to his face, holding your gaze while taking a deep breath through his nose.

“Fuck, you smell good. Taste even better, though.” And with that, he situates himself between your thighs and flattens his tongue against you, licking you from your dripping hole up to your throbbing clit.

You sigh happily, fingers tangling through his hair as he works his tongue over your clit and dips two fingers into your heat.

“Just like that...” you whisper, your head digging into the pillows as he plays you like a fiddle.

He continues fucking his fingers into you, pausing when you give a particularly hard tug on his hair then repeating exactly what made you do that.

You can feel it slowly building, each pass of his tongue and thrust of his fingers brings you slightly closer, and you can’t help but feel your heart begin to race.

“Fuck... just like that, Bucky...”

He follows your instructions perfectly, doing exactly what makes you feel good.

He watches your face scrunch, feels your heels dig into his back and your nails scratch at his scalp and - Goddamn is this what he was missing out on? This is what you look like when you’re really about to cum?

It takes all of his self-control to not grab his phone and take a picture of you.

Your chest rises and falls more rapidly and your eyes are squeezed shut as your walls start fluttering around his fingers.

Fuck, you look gorgeous.

It’s such a strange feeling, having him bring you closer and closer to the edge. It’s so foreign yet so right and you tug at his hair and roll your hips up to his face.

“Bucky, I... I’m gonna.... oh fuck, please... I’m gonna cum, please!”

God, hearing that is like music to his ears.

He continues, bringing his free hand up to yours when you reach for it.

You interlock your fingers and grind your teeth together as your release washes over you, far more intense than anything you’ve ever been able to bring yourself.

A sound that’s half-moan half-gasp falls from your lips and you squeeze his hand harder while your walls clamp down around his fingers.

Bliss fills you, sparks flying from every nerve in your body, head to toe, and Bucky watches in awe.

He’s not sure how he believed you before when you were faking. The way you look when you cum is something he’s never going to be able to forget now.

Your body is wound so tight, your thighs clenched around his head and your nails digging into his scalp. Your walls are pulsing and clenching and, fuck, it feels incredible. He can’t wait to feel it around his cock.

He continues slowly fucking his fingers in and out of you while working his tongue over your clit, only pulling away when you tug your hips back.

He smacks his lips together and pulls away, his eyes connecting with yours.

Your chest heaves and your forehead has a light sheen of sweat on it, and you look like the Goddess you are.

“How you feel, baby?” He asks gently, smoothing his hands up your sides and rubbing his thumbs over the soft skin of your stomach.

You only nod at him, your hands coming to rest on his wrists.

“Words, baby. I need words.”

You lick your lips and take a deep breath before speaking.

“I feel good, Buck. I-I feel really good,” you whisper, eyes prickling with tears at the intensity of the moment.

He smiles lovingly down at you and leans in for a gentle kiss.

You taste yourself on his tongue and it makes the moment even more erotic.

“Gonna let me fuck you, baby?” He asks against your mouth, trailing his lips down your neck and kissing your skin gently.

You nod, sighing softly as tears trail back into your hairline.

He pulls back for a moment, just long enough to situate himself comfortably between your thighs and align himself with your entrance.

And then he’s pushing into you slowly, making you feel every single inch of it.

Your mouth drops open and your legs wind around his hips, pulling him even deeper than before. He’s pressing against every sensitive spot inside you and it feels heavenly.

“Fuck, you feel good, baby. Feel so good... God... nice n’ tight... wet... shit you’re like heaven.” He rasps the words against your throat, lips trailing up over your skin to rest on yours for a quick moment before he pulls back to gaze into your eyes.

“I love you, pretty girl. I really do.”

Your heart swells and you lean up to kiss him, gasping against his lips when he pulls his hips back and slams them forward.

He starts a steady pace, smoothing one of his hands over yours and interlocking your fingers.

“I wanna feel you cum for me again. Wanna feel it on my cock, baby. God, you look so pretty when you cum. Wanna take a picture of it and frame it, I swear.”

You squeeze your eyes shut and whine softly, arching your back and groaning when he hits deeper inside of you at the new angle.

“Right there... oh fuck, please...”

He buries his head in your neck, peppering the skin there with kisses while his free hand travels between your bodies to find your clit.

He circles the bundle of nerves with expert precision, lifting his lips to yours to swallow your moans.

You’re barely kissing. No, it’s more of just breathing each other’s breaths and moaning in each other’s mouths, but the intimacy is unmatched and the passion is flaming through your soul.

You wind your free arm around his shoulders, pulling him down to press more of his weight against you, and you can’t help but feel more secure and more comfortable.

“I... Bucky... I’m gonna... oh fuck.”

He nods, showering your face in kisses.

“Cum for me, honey. C’mon, please. I wanna feel you cum on my cock.”

You can’t very well deny him when he’s asking you so nicely.

His fingers move against your clit faster and faster while his hips continue grinding into yours firmly, making your toes curl and your back arch further.

Your chest presses against his and you rake your nails against his back so hard you're sure you’re drawing blood, but you can’t find it in yourself to care.

Not when you’re falling headfirst into the most intense and powerful climax of your life.

Your vision goes white and your ears start to ring, and all you can do is squeeze around him.

Your legs tighten around his waist, your nails dig into his flesh, and your walls clamp down around his cock as fireworks erupt in your belly.

Bucky fucks you through it, keeping his pace steady as you tremble and convulse beneath him, your mouth open as soft whines fall from it.

God, the feeling of you, all hot and tight and wet around him... he’s ready to die happily now that he’s gotten to truly experience the glory that is having you cum around him.

His pride swells and he can't help the way his ego inflates when he pulls his head back to look at your pretty face.

He did that.

He made you feel that good.

He’s the only man, no, the only person in the world besides yourself that’s ever made you cum. And he’s going to be the only one.

And now that he knows how to do it, now that he's gotten you there with his mouth and his cock, he’s never going to get enough of it. He’s gotta make up for lost time, doesn't he?

#bucky x reader #bucky barnes #Bucky Barnes x reader #bucky x reader smut #bucky/reader smut #bucky x you #bucky x reader lemon #bucky x you smut #Bucky Barnes smut #marvel smut #Steve rogers #yelena belova #Natasha romanoff #bucky x f!reader #bucky x female!reader #Bucky Barnes fanfic #reader insert

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goldenempyrean · 11 months

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Sisterhood And Sniffles

〚 Prompt - "Im here for you, no matter what.” 〛

〚 Pairing - Yelena + Natasha (Sisterly)〛

〚 Wordcount - 700 〛

〘 Check Out My Masterlist! 〙

╚════════ ⋇⋆✦⋆⋇⋆✦⋆⋇ ════════╝

The sound of another tissue being swiped from the box was what caught her attention at first, then it was the sound of her breath rapidly hitching before the inevitable…

“Hu’tshhoo!” The younger woman hitched forward as she sneezed, her blonde hair falling messily over her face.

“Bud' zdorova.” The redhead sitting opposite casually blessed her sister in her native tongue as the two continued to look over the vitally important plans.

It wasn’t until Yelena bent forwards with another 2 loud sneezes that Natasha looked up see her rubbing the back of her wrist against her nose as she sniffled.

“There are literally tissues infront of you,” Nat chided lightly earning herself a small eyeroll from the blonde who’d just swiped a few tissues to blow her nose with and Natasha waited until she was finished to ask, “You alright?”

Yelena nodded giving a final sniffle before turning her attention back to the document infront of her. The two of them we’re trying to pinpoint which prison Alexei was currently hauled up in. The both of them was way beyond tired by this point, the crappy motel they’d found to stay in wasn’t exactly comfy by any means and the pair were currently slouched over a small table as they tried to work it out.

“I see that new vest of yours did nothing to keep the chill off then.” Natasha commented as Yelena reached forward to swipe another tissue.

“Hey! No disrespecting of my jacket,” Yelena sniffled bitterly, “You said you liked it earlier, no take backs.”

Natasha smirked, a playful glint in her eyes. "I never said I didn't like it. I just said it didn't keep the chill off, which seems to be the case."

Yelena pouted; her sniffles momentarily forgotten. "Well, it's fashionable, okay? And it looks good on me. That's what matters."

Natasha chuckled, shaking her head. "Fine, I won't disrespect your precious jacket anymore. But seriously, are you sure you're, okay? You've been sneezing a lot."

Yelena sighed, leaning back in her chair and crumpling up the used tissues in her hand. "Stupid immune system. We’re in a hot country for god's sake, how is a cold even possible.”

“Well, it is a densely populated area and its foreign so your body isn’t assimilated to viruses here.” Concern flickered across Natasha's face. "Maybe you should take a break to rest up a bit. I can’t promise these beds will be comfortable though.” She said, motioning over to the rickety looking beds across the room.

But her sister only shook her head stubbornly. "It’s fine, we just need to get this done.”

Natasha studied her sister's weary face, her worry growing. Yelena had always been resilient, but even the strongest of people had their limits. She knew this all too well.

"Alright," Natasha conceded reluctantly. "But promise me that if you start feeling worse, you'll let me know. We're a team now, alright? Im here for you, no matter what.”

Luckily for her, Yelena nodded, “Fine, I am a responsible adult though yknow, not your little baby sister.”

The older redhead let it go for now but as another hour slowly passed by she could see the obvious signs of exhaustion setting in. Yelena rested her head in her hands, claiming to just need a moment. But that moment seemed to have its own ideas when small congested snores were heard coming from her only minutes later.

“Yeah, ‘Responsible adult’ my ass.” Natasha mumbled to herself, shaking her head at her sister’s inability to listen to her body’s needs. Standing up, Nat tucked her arms firmly under her and lifted the sleeping blonde from her chair and gently carrier her over towards the bed. She lowered her down onto it carefully, pulling up the thin duvet around her.

Natasha stood there for a moment, observing her sister's peaceful sleeping form. Yelena looked so vulnerable, her usually fierce and confident demeanour replaced by the innocence of sleep. A wave of protectiveness washed over Natasha, reminding her of their bond and the responsibility she felt towards her sister.

This time she’d be there. Nothing was gonna tear them apart ever again. Not even a silly little cold.

#yelena belova #natasha romanoff #natasha romanoff fanfic #yelena belova fanfic #sickfic #marvel #mcu #marvel sickfic #yelena belova sickfic #natasha romanoff sickfic #black widow

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romanoffsbish · 6 months

Text

Carved With Love

Natasha Romanoff x Wife!R

Yelena Belova x Fem!R (The true love story 🥹)

Yelena’s in town for the holiday season, and who would she be if not wreaking havoc? | WC: 1,986

Warnings: Mentions of Neglectful Past | Siblings

Yelena was a menace; you knew that from the insight your wife gave you before she introduced you to her.

“Y/N, she literally blew herself up and said it was fun,” your wife had reiterated her stance, that being: Yelena was a complete and total maniac. “Sounds like she’d fit right in with you and your band of superheroes,” was all you’d said back while adding pasta to your cart.

The two of you had been together for nearly a decade when they found each other again, and though the blonde was wary of a meeting she quickly agreed after hearing that the two of you were married with kids.

——

You couldn't really blame her for wanting to meet them more, especially your daughter, the eldest, who shared a name with her. They clicked instantly. Then there were your sons that you carried back to back, Andrei and Aleksander, who were bonded like twins. It was like they gained a triplet with their aunt. Then there’s the latest, Flora, who was just turning six months old and who was absolutely in love with the blonde.

The group were nothing but trouble, you adored that.

When you met her, your heart had doubled in size as you realized she was just trying to forget, to be a kid. Something you knew she never got to be, so just like with your own children, you let her get away with it all.

Natasha didn't much appreciate that, well, truthfully she adored just how much you already loved her sister. But, she was a bit jealous that you were so lenient with her, even if she knew you weren’t with her because she needed the structure and redirection you provided her.

As of right now, she thought you were also insane, "Detka, I don't think you thought this through..." Natasha mumbled against your temple from behind, where she stood with you securely in her arms, and you shook your head and softly chuckled. "It's fine baby."

Natasha currently feared for everyone's safety as her sister held one of those little orange carving knives.

"Oh my gosh, Y/N Romanoff, look!" Yelena shrieked, and your wife sighed when she felt your body relax. There was no hope left, you were at her sister's mercy. Yelena held up a stencil and you smiled. "It's cute."

"No, it is badass!" Yelena corrected, only to be met with a glare from her sister. "Watch your language."

"Natasha," you scolded instantaneously, "Lighten up."

"But she —," Natasha went to defend her decisions but quickly cut herself off when you turned with a glare.

Everyone got away with murder, except Natasha. (Well, in this symbolic context that is…)

Yelena smiled smugly at her sister, she even stuck her tongue out to mock her as you weren't looking. The redhead flipped her off, and your daughter gasped. "Mama! That's the bad finger!" Your eyes widened. "Natasha! What are you now? Some sort of hypocrite?"

"Predateli'," Natasha grumbled, making your daughter laugh alongside her aunt who was taping the ghost cat on a zombie dog's head stencil to her large pumpkin.

(Traitors)

"You all behave," you scolded the entire room before leaving to the kitchen to collect the cookies. Natasha tried to follow you, like a hurt puppy, but you made her stay behind to make sure nobody had a carving crisis.

Which was in vain because when you came back in the room you found Yelena had upgraded to your sharp carving knife, and you nearly dropped your plate.

"Yelena honey, that's too dangerous," you practically shrieked, but not really to avoid her hand slipping. Not that you didn't have faith in her trained hands, but you knew accidents could happen regardless of skillsets. The blonde pouted up at you, and Natasha watched you once again melt into her little sister's charm.

"I can't use the little orange one," she pleaded for your understanding, "It is too tiny and ineffective."

"Okay," you folded instantly and your wife's eyes widened with flashes of shock and betrayal. The one time Natasha had done the same thing years back, before your kids, you'd given her a safety lesson.

“This isn’t fair,” she grumbled to herself, but she also let it go when she saw you sitting with her sister, eyes focused in on the way she carved the pumpkin and mouth at the ready to give her advice or a light scold.

Natasha let her festering resentments go, and shortly after joined you all at the table so that the youngest member of the house could play with the guts. It was a perfect moment of domesticated bliss, and the redhead couldn’t help but to feel at peace in current company.

Then the following morning came, and you learned a few things. Yelena had a new favorite holiday, and in turn a hobby, carving, which piggybacked right off of her other, bugging her older sister as if it was her job.

"Natasha," you tried to calm her, your hands on her tense shoulder as you kept her from lunging at the blonde. "You need to calm down my love, I can..."

"No!" Natasha cut you off, "She will do it, not you."

"She's our guest," you reminder her, but she merely rolled her eyes—something she never did towards you. "More like a pest, Y/N/N, make her leave before I do."

Your eyes narrowed fast, and your wife cowered at the sheer intensity. "Apologize to her, right now Natalia."

The redhead held back a scoff. Yelena had carved a face only a mother could love into her favorite fall leather jacket, yet she was the one who had to apologize here.

"I'm sorry, parshivets," she begrudgingly spat at the grinning blonde across the room. "I accept, cyka."

(Brat / Bitch)

You sighed, and regretfully turned to face the smug blonde. This was partially your fault too for having let the girl get away with murder up until this point.

"Yelena, now it's your turn." Yelena frowned, but then she nodded and relaxed her features. "Sorry sestra," her tone was genuine, "I will buy you another one."

"No, you don't have to," you let the girl off the hook. "Yes she does." Natasha rebuked your words in a flash, then she intelligently rephrased, "No you don't."

You smirked and rewarded her with a kiss that she tried to melt into, but once again Yelena interrupted with a rumbling stomach. "Can we make pancakes?"

Natasha's hands harshly gripped your hips, and you smiled at her in understanding, she missed you. "How about you go get the kids up while we make breakfast?"

The redhead reluctantly let you go with a nod, but before she got too far you pulled her in for another kiss. "I'll be all yours soon, just have some patience."

Yelena was leaving after the holiday's event, and the kids were going to Wanda's for a spooky sleepover. You'd planned accordingly, and your wife smirked at the reminder, chastely pecked your lips then ran up the stairs with a reinvigorated pep in her once glum step.

"Get the chocolate chips," you instructed your sous chef, and she did so with a smile. Yelena was learning to cook from you, you never outright said it, but you worried about her eating habits. All she could make was mac and cheese and that was artery clogging if not met with a balance of other things besides takeout.

Yelena appreciated your concern, it was clear to her that you were the perfect match for Natasha, because you were an even better platonic match for her. The way you let her just be who she was, who she was discovering herself to be with her newfound freedom, meant the absolute world to her. You were a light that she found comfort in, and would never let go of.

Once you showed Yelena how to make the batter you let her ladle it onto the griddle. "Don't flip it yet," you instructed, your back was turned but you were aware of her piqued curiosity and she was enamored by your spy like skills. "You're like a super mom or something."

"It's nice to see my skillset is appreciated," you teased the younger girl as you returned to her side and gently bumped her hip. "I appreciate all of you, sestra."

It took you a second to reel in your emotions, you'd only been hoping that she wouldn't hate you, but it turned out that she actually liked you, and you didn't want to cry and make her reevaluate that judgement.

Instead you settled on hugging her shoulders, giving her a gentle shake as you showed her the indicators for flipping before finally letting her flip the pancake.

Just as you settled a pancake on the plate you heard an obnoxious scraping on the glass. "What the—." There before you was a focused blonde, the tip of her tongue rested on her lower lip as she carved your perfectly round pancake into a ghost cat. You shook your head with a fond smile, "You really love knives, don't you?" Yelena mirrored your expression and nodded as she now carved an eye into a pumpkin. "They are so cool."

"Natasha loves her guns the same." Yelena flinched, "Guns are too rigid, and loud. Knives are fun, you can do flip tricks with them and they're just as lethal."

You noted her clear discomfort with firearms, and filed it away in your mind as a later topic of discussion, and fortunately the kids came barreling into the kitchen. Yelena dropped the knife and, just like every morning, she greeted the little boys with the tickle monster.

Then came your daughter’s greeting, “Yelena Belova!"

Yelena then followed her lead, “Yelena Romanoff!"

You shook your head at their antics, then you returned to your task at hand, and began to set the table. You placed the blondes masterpieces in their designated spots, a pumpkin for each boy, the cat for her parrot, and the torn to bits pieces went to the toothless baby.

You were gifted two perfectly sized hearts, topped with fruit and whipped cream. Natasha got zero change to the shape, but instead, she was gifted icing words.

“I’m not eating that,” Natasha growled, and you bit back a laugh as you saw the script. “What’s it say?”

Natasha shook her head at you, and glared in her sister’s direction as you attempted to read the Russian out loud, “Tvoya zhena lyubit menya bol'she.”

(Your wife loves me more)

“Damn right,” Yelena teased as she sat in front of her own pancake, “Don’t worry sestra, she loves you too.”

“You two, knock it off and eat your breakfast,” your mom voice came out, and everyone was suddenly sat. You nibbled on your food while making sure your baby didn’t choke on hers as she gobbled it down like a cat (Liho and Bob) being fed at the normal time everyday.

Once breakfast was finished you sent the kids to the living room with their aunt to watch cartoons while you and your wife cleaned up the mess left behind.

As you were packing up the fruit you felt two arms snake around your waist, and a kiss placed on your neck that you instantly melted into. You felt her smirk but ignored her smugness as you lazily cleaned up.

"You're spoiling her," Natasha groaned, you shrugged and turned around to face her with a genuine smile. "I'm just giving her the same chances I did you."

Natasha frowned, "I hope it's not exactly the same."

"That’s disgusting!" Yelena groaned from the couch and you giggled into your wife's shoulder. Avoiding the question in your kids eyes, and leaving Natasha to answer it. The redhead smirked, throwing her sister a wink before she completely pulled you out of the room.

Two could play at this game…

—

#natasha romanoff #natasha romanoff fluff #natasha romanoff imagine #natasha romanoff fanfic #natasha romanoff x reader #natasha romanoff x wife!reader #natasha romanoff x you #natasha romanoff x y/n #natasha romanoff x fem!reader #natasha x reader #natasha x y/n #natasha x fem!reader #natasha x you #gxg #yelena belova #yelena belova x you #yelena belova x reader

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videovamptramp · 7 months

Text

i would do anything for you to love me

(song: american hero - rainbow kitten surprises // natasha x fem reader)

summary - you have an obvious crush on natasha, and consistently do little things that prove so. though, she’s a grump who doesn’t know how to respond to your advances. this ultimately leads to her hurting your feelings.

warnings: mean nat, grumpy natasha, y/n is too sweet for her own good. a bit angsty but fluffy ending

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

“hey nat!” you exclaim, and natasha nearly drops her coffee mug due to the sound of your high pitched voice. natasha turns to glare at you, “how many times do i have to tell you not to call me that?" she snaps, and your shoulders deflate a bit. “sorry, natasha! i just wanted to see if you were alright. you came back from that mission yesterday and you didn’t even have dinner...” you say, and natasha turns her head to keep her back towards you. “i’m fine.” it was an obvious lie, but natasha didn’t know that you knew that.

you merely nod, “okay, nat— natasha. i just brought you some of those banana and nutella crepe’s you like from that place downtown. here.” you reveal, as you place the to-go box on the counter that the redhead was leaning on. “thanks.” natasha mutters, and you smile widely at the small moment of politeness. natasha turns her head to see you smiling like an idiot, and her scowl returns as something unwanted in her stomach flutters. “is that all you wanted?” natasha asks a bit harshly, and your smile falters. “oh, yeah! sorry! i’ll leave you alone now!” you promise as you scurry away, leaving natasha alone. at least she thought she was alone.

“god, you’re such a cunt.” yelena murmurs, half asleep as she walks into the kitchen of the compound. natasha glares at her younger sister, “well good morning to you too.” natasha hisses, and yelena rolls her eyes as she reaches for a clean mug. yelena doesn’t say anything else to the redhead as she pours herself a cup of fresh coffee. "what has you in such a crap mood?” natasha asks, evidently annoyed. “nothing. i just figured we were all being asshole’s today, considering how you just behaved with y/n.” yelena’s response causes natasha to scoff. “oh please, i’m always like that with her. she’s like, borderline obsessed with me. nothing i say bothers her.” the older woman explains with a careless shrug, and yelena blinks at her sister in disbelief.

“she has a crush on you, идиот (idiot). god forbid somebody actually cares about you.” yelena whispers with a hiss in order to keep herself from snapping at her sister. natasha rolls her eyes, “i don’t want her to care about me. i don’t care about her at all. the sooner she realizes that, the better.” natasha simplifies, and shakes her head in dismay, before scoffing. ”you don’t deserve her anyways.” yelena mutters as she reaches for the to-go box that was originally for natasha. natasha glares, “that’s mine—” “you don’t deserve it.” yelena cuts in with a snarky tone, before she takes the crepes and coffee back to her room, leaving natasha alone.

natasha throws her coffee out into the sink, by now it's gone dog-nose cold. she tries to continue on with her day after that, though her thoughts of you, and the amount of unnecessarily sweet things you do for her, circulate through her mind. the way you leave files on her desk with cute little sticky notes. you bring her lunch or dinner up to her room, whenever she’s too mentally exhausted to join the team in the kitchen. you even bring her a protein shake after her practices and training sessions. natasha doesn’t remember telling you her favorite flavor protein shake, but you somehow know it’s peanut butter and chocolate.

the next morning natasha wakes up, and the kitchen is abnormally empty. she opens the cabinet, hoping someone bought new coffee so she wouldn’t have to. low and behold, there was a weeks worth of coffee in the cabinet with a sticky note and your handwriting on it.

“hey natasha! i’m going out of town for a week but i restocked the place with your favorite things! — y/n.”

natasha reaches for the note, and frowns. out of town? you didn’t mention a vacation to her. then again, she hadn’t really been in a talking mood yesterday. she never really was. “morning natasha. oh sweet!! someone bought coffee!” bucky exclaims as he reaches for the new tub of coffee beans. natasha stuffs the note in her pocket, “hey, where’s y/n?” natasha asks, and bucky furrows his brows. “she went out of town to visit her family for a week. i thought she told everyone about it the other day?” bucky questions, and natasha thinks back to a few days ago.

“hey nat!” you exclaim, your bubbly voice filling the gym as you bounce in. natasha scowls at the sight of you, “what do you want?” she asks, sounding harsher than usual. “oh, i was just looking for you to tell you something! i brought your shake!” you admit as you hand her the protein shake. “look, y/n, whatever you have to say, save it. i’m not in the mood today.” she snaps, and you frown. “o-oh okay. sorry nat i—”

“and my name is natasha!” she raises her voice and you flinch a bit. a wave a of guilt washes over her for a second, but she keeps her arms crossed and a glare on her face. “sorry natasha.” you mumble before walking out, and leaving natasha to train. “wow.” wanda chirps in, and natasha looks over at the other redhead. “what?” natasha asks angrily, “she just wanted to give you a shake and have a conversation.” wanda points out, and natasha rolls her eyes. “i don’t want to talk to her. and i didn’t ask her to make me a shake. i never ask her for anything. you’d think she’d take the hint and stop already.” natasha grumbles, and wanda nods. “well, maybe one day she will. i do think you’ll miss the actions more than she will though. so be careful what you wish for.” wanda warns, and natasha waves her off with narrowed her eyes as shoves her earbuds in and takes a big chug of her shake. it’s peanut butter and chocolate. her favorite.

“i guess she forgot to tell me.” natasha mutters, and bucky nods. “well, she’ll be back on sunday night.” he assures her as he opens the fridge. “oh sweet, there’s new bacon!!” he exclaims in a giddy tone, and natasha swallows thickly. you’re not here and you still did something for her.

natasha feels your absence throughout the day. it’s as if the compound is dimmer, and lacking any life. nobody brings natasha her shake, and she had to make it herself; though it doesn’t taste as good as when you make it. natasha always uses too much peanut butter. the rest of natasha’s day is no better. she doesn’t join the team for dinner, and she isn’t greeted by the sound of your soft knocks and a plate of her favorite foods.

natasha’s entire week without you is unexpectedly hell. for some reason, you seem to be the only person who seeks natasha out. you know when she’s having a bad day, you know when she’s had a terrible mission, you even know when she’s in a good mood. natasha doesn’t understand how you know all these things about her, she’s never once bothered to open up to you. it makes her feel a surge of guilt as she recalls all the times you’d try to talk to her, and she’d turn you down. she wishes she understood why she suddenly felt so weak without you. why her days dragged on when she didn’t hear the sound of your voice.

you return on sunday night, and as soon as natasha sees you, she knows somethings wrong. you smile at her, but you don’t greet her with your usual “hey nat!”. you drag your bags up to your room, and without a word you don’t come out until the morning. natasha doesn’t sleep that night; you’ve been gone for a week, and you didn’t even bother to say hello to her. why? you’re in the kitchen the next morning, chatting with yelena, “hey natasha.” you greet her with a soft smile. she doesn’t enjoy the way her full name sounds rolling off your tongue, despite how many times she demanded it.

“morning.” she greets back, eyeing you for a moment before shuffling passed bucky and thor to the coffee machine. natasha makes herself a cup of coffee, and can’t help but listen to you and yelena quietly talk about some show yelena’s watching. she doesn’t understand why it bothers her that you’re talking to someone else and not her. it’s what she wanted isn’t it? to be left alone by you. natasha huffs, and is out of the kitchen as soon as her mug is full of piping hot coffee.

today you don’t bring natasha a shake, and you don’t go out of your way to see or talk to her. natasha is in a grumpier mood than usual because of it. she hopes this is just a momentary thing. maybe you’re just taking it out on her for the way she acted before you left. you’ll be back to normal again by tomorrow. right? natasha doesn’t know why she's hoping that’s the case.

that definitely isn’t the case. the next three days pass and you barely say a word to natasha. you still smile at her, but the shine in your eyes seems to have disappeared. natasha has a haunting realization that you may have realized what yelena has been saying all along; you deserve better. better than natasha and her complex moods. better than the way she treats you. better than her and her need to push away anyone who truly cares about her.

natasha hasn’t been to dinner with the team for two weeks now, and you haven’t once brought her a plate. something about the sudden distance makes natasha inexplicably angry. your cheerfulness in your voice is gone whenever speaking to her, and she can’t figure out why your smile doesn’t reach your eyes like it did before. it takes two and a half weeks of this for natasha to get fed up and finally do something about it. she finds you on the treadmill in the gym alone, getting your cardio in.

this time, natasha tries a different approach. she brings you a protein shake. “hey. this is for you.” natasha says bluntly, and it causes your running to falter as you stop the electric machine and face natasha. she’s holding out a chocolate shake, and you eye it carefully. “i swear i didn’t poison it.” she promises, and you raise your eyebrows. “did— did you make it? for me?” you ask a bit uncertainly. natasha’s brows are scrunched together, and she scoffs.

“well, i don’t see anyone else in here do you?” she asks impatiently, still holding the protein shake. you gladly take it, and a small smile tugs at your lips. “thanks natasha.” you thank her, before taking a sip. it has way too much chocolate in it, but you don’t mind. the gesture is undoubtedly sweet. natasha stands there for a moment, and you blink up at her. “it’s good.” you obviously lie politely in order to spare her feelings, and natasha rolls her eyes. “you make them better than i do.” she grunts out, making your smile widen.

for some reason the curve on your lips makes natasha’s chest flutter. she clears her throat, “i’m uh— i’m sorry if i scared you off. i don’t take to kindness too well... your little acts of genuine kindness scared me. it wasn’t my intention to be such a jerk to you.” natasha apologizes, refusing to meet your eyes. you’re a bit surprised by the unexpected apology, and you shake your head quickly. “you didn’t!” you respond without thinking, “you didn’t scare me off... the truth is it’s been a tough few weeks for me. i’m not very close with my parents and whenever i visit, a fight always breaks out. it wasn’t my intention to make you think i was shutting you out, i’ve just been a little sad since going back home.” you promise, and her eyes widen.

“wait, so you... you aren’t angry with the way i’ve been treating you?” she asks and you shrug. “sure, sometimes you hurt my feelings, but sometimes i can see in your eyes how much you’re hurting. you deserve kindness, natasha. even if you don’t know how to accept it.” your voice is sincere, and natasha’s heart feels like it’s being squeezed so tightly it might pop. something inside of her snaps and she doesn’t even feel the tears brimming in her eyes. your eyes almost widen at the sight of her tears, “why? why are you so nice to me all the time?” natasha asks in a frustrated manner. why is it impossible to hate you? why doesn’t she want to?

“because i know what it feels like when the world hasn’t been kind. like i said, you deserve kindness, natasha.” you iterate, and the redhead lets her chest rise and fall before saying “yo-you can call me nat.” the smile you give her makes it feel like someone lit a match in her belly.

after that, there’s quite a difference in your friendship with natasha; if you could even call it a friendship. the two of you were nearly always together; during breakfast, during training sessions. on late nights doing paperwork, you’d keep natasha company, and she didn’t mind. it goes on like this for a few months, the subtle flirting, light touches, and longing looks. everyone on the team notices, including you both. the problem is, neither of you are brave enough to make the first move.

until you’re both put on a mission with peter and steve. it’s supposed to be an easy mission; peter and steve infiltrate the building across town with the databases and broadcasts, while natasha sets up a bomb in the secret hydra location downtown. except, it’s two minutes passed the time natasha’s supposed to have came out, and she still isn’t here. “steve— don’t start the bomb, nat’s not here yet.” you order, “what? *static* — do you mean— *static* —ot there?” steve’s mics chooses the worst time to start cutting out.

“rogers, stop the plan i’m going in for nat!” you say, and the mic goes silent. “steve?” you ask, but you don't get a response. within a moment a loud explosion sounds throughout the building, and your eyes go wide as the blood goes straight to your ears. you don’t even think twice before rushing out of the van, and running into the building. your eyes dart around, and you find the stairway right way. you go downstairs to where natasha’s supposed to be, and your eyes widen as you see she’s pretty busy fighting off three guys.

you rush over and pry one guy away from her, punching him square in the nose, then kicking him in the crotch. natasha uses one of her widow bites to tase the man, and she doesn’t notice you pulled your gun out until she hears the first shot. she looks over and sees the large man slump forward, and you don’t hesitate to shoot the other right between the eyes. natasha has never seen you use a gun before, and it causes her mouth to go dry for a moment.

you look at her, acting on complete instinct, as you grab her wrist and pull her for the nearest exit. not even a second after you push her out of the building, and stumble on top of her, the building collapses. surely leaving no survivors on the inside. you let out a silent breath of relief, nearly forgetting you’re literally on top of natasha romanoff. natasha pushes you off, glaring at you, “are you out of your fucking mind?!” the redhead shouts, and you frown up at her, propping yourself up on your wrists as she stands up. “why are you yelling at me!?” you ask loudly, your ears still ringing from the explosion.

“because you’re an idiot! you were supposed to follow orders and wait in the van!” natasha looks like shes seething, clenching her fists as she glowers at you. the police sirens snap you guys out of your feud, as you stand up. “get back in the van.” you order, and she scoffs as she follows you back into the van. as soon as you're both in, you speed away from the scene.

“rogers? parker? are you there?” natasha asks, as she uses the emergency walkie. “we’re here, natasha. where y/n? she was trying to tell me something before we got cut out.” steve says over the walkie talkie, and you look over your shoulder, “nothing. it doesn’t matter now.” you say, and natasha glares at you. “doesn’t matter?! you could’ve died! she completely went off orders and ran into the building, rogers.” natasha throws you under the bus and your eyes widen. “what?? y/n, you were supposed to wait in the van!” he reminds and you huff in frustration, hands gripping the steering wheel as you drive back to the compound.

“we’ll talk about this when we meet back at the compound.” steve adds, and your shoulder slouch a bit. you know you’re in for it. when you get to the compound, natasha completely ignores you as she practically stomps to the elevator. you sigh as you watch you her walk away. “y/n, your bleeding.” steve points out, as he gestures to your shoulder. “i think one of the guys i was fighting had a knife or something? it’s just a slash.” you assure him, and peter shakes his head. “that’s a pretty deep slash.” he mutters and steve flashes him a look, “that’s because it’s not a slash. it’s a gash. you need to get to medbay and get that stitched up.” he orders and you want to protest, but the stern look on his face advises you not to.

“yes sir.” you reply as you walk away with your head down. you aren’t upset that steve is disappointed, you’re more upset that natasha is angry at you for saving her. did she really expect you to just sit back and wait for her to die in an explosion? did she really think you weren’t going to go in there for her? your thoughts whirl around your head the entire way to medbay. you don’t mean to be so sensitive, but you can’t help but feel hurt as you realize natasha is angry with you. you don’t like it when natasha is upset with you.

“hey steve, where’s y/n?” yelena asks, sitting on the edge of the countertop as natasha rummages through the fridge for a beer. “medbay. she has a gash in her shoulder that needs stitches.” he admits and natasha knocks over the tub of juice as she practically pulls her head out of the fridge. “she got hurt?” the redhead asks demandingly, and peter shakes her head. “it’s not that bad, it’s just a cut.” he reassures the widow, and natasha slams the fridge shut.

“just a cut? a cut she didn’t even mention— oh i’m gonna kill her!” natasha hisses and the team hears her heavy footsteps as she angrily makes her way to the elevator. “natasha.” steve calls out, keeping his voice calm. she spins around, “what?!” she asks harshly, and he flashes her a look. “go easy on her. i don’t know why she went against my orders, but she sounded frantic before the mic cut off. whatever it was, i’m sure it was worth it to her.” he says, and natasha blinks a few times, the anger slowly leaving her body. you ran into that building for her. if you two would’ve left a second later, you’d both be dead.

natasha doesn’t respond; she swallows thickly, and makes her way to the elevator. the entire way to the medbay she thinks about how mean she was, after you quite literally put your life at risk for her. she also thinks about how sexy you looked while firing a gun. the beep of the elevator brings natasha out of her thoughts as she steps out, and she can already hear you and bruce going back and fourth. “come on, just tell me if it’s green.” you beg and he flashes you a stringent expression. “i’m not going to tell you if hulk’s junk is green!” he scolds, sounding extremely irritated and embarrassed while he attempts to keep still. he was nearly halfway through with your stitches, but you weren't helping by squirming every other minute.

natasha chuckles, causing you both to look over at where she was standing, leaning against the doorway. “you know, i always wondered that too.” she reveals, and bruce rolls his eyes. “oh great, now you’re both here. it’s bad enough i have to listen to this one’s way too personal questions, now i have to make sure these stitches are perfect.” bruce mutters, and natasha smirks, “better make sure you do a great job, banner. and try not to hurt her." natasha says protectively. you blush obviously, and bruce rolls his eyes as he continues.

you glance over at natasha who’s staring intently at the wound on your shoulder. “are you still pissed at me?” you ask, pulling her out of her thoughts and back to reality. she meets your gaze, and she shrugs. “only when i look at you.” she blurts out, and you frown, you shift and bruce glares at you causing you to halt your movements. “did you really come all the way here to tell me you’re still pissed?” you question, narrowing your eyes at the redhead. she crosses her arms tightly, turning her head to the side so she doesn’t have to meet your eyes.

when she doesn’t respond you scoff, turning your own head so you wouldn’t have to look at her anymore either. natasha glances at you every couple of minutes until bruce is done, but you keep your sight locked on the wall beside you. “alright, i’ll give you some antibiotic cream for it, you know the drill. come back next week so i can take the stitches out.” he explains adamantly, and you do a poor imitation of a salute. “sir yes sir.” you joke, making him shake his head, but there’s a faint smile tugging at his lips. “don’t make this a habit, y/n/n.” he adds, and natasha’s piercing eyes snap over to you both. “she won’t.” the redhead answers for you, and you flash bruce a look. “you heard her.” you state, and bruce nods as he makes his way out.

he leaves you and natasha alone, and a silence washes over you both. you gnaw on your bottom lip as you glance at her, before your eyes begin to dart around the room. your kicking your right leg back and fourth in anticipation, mentally preparing yourself to get yelled at or scolded (or both) by natasha. “what you did was seriously stupid. you do get that right? you could’ve died.” the taller woman scolds, but her tone isn’t as harsh as before. you narrow your eyes at her, “you could’ve died! if i hadn’t gone in there... you... you wouldn’t be here right now.” the haunting realization hits you as the words leave your mouth. tears brim your eyes as you clench your fists, “i don’t care if you’re angry! i’d do it again in a heartbeat!” you snap, and natasha looks taken back at the confession. as if the thought of you risking your life for her was so far fetched. as if you don’t think about her every morning and every night. as if her rare smile doesn’t make your day. as if she isn't the only consistent thought running through your chaotic mind all damn day.

“i have been nothing but an asshole to you! do you see that or are you blind?? why would you want to risk your life for someone like me?!” natasha yells back, her nostrils flaring as she crosses her arms, unknowingly flexing her bicep muscles. you have to remind yourself not to ogle her. your fingernails dig into your palms, nearly drawing blood as a few tears leave your eyes. “because you’re not just a fucking asshole, natasha! you’re a person! you’re a great person, and i don’t care how self deprecating you are, you deserve to live! and i— i wouldn’t be able to if you weren’t around... okay?” your voice breaking towards the end as tears fall out of her eyes rapidly.

natasha’s demeanor changes, as her arms fall to her sides, and her jaw unclenches. “what do you mean?” she asks, and you scoff as you turn your head to look at the wall. “please don’t pretend like you don’t know.” you whisper in a pleading tone, and natasha stares at you with those intense emerald eyes. “pretend i don’t know what, y/n?” natasha questions again, this time her tone is more demanding. you look at her, your eyes full of emotions. she’s never seen you so passionately upset, “pretend that you don’t know i’m hopelessly in love with you!” you hiss, balling your fists as you look at her while you cry.

natasha’s eyes nearly widen at the confession, and she stares at you as if she can see right through you. you sigh, shaking your head and wiping your tears away with your palms, “i know you could never love me, and maybe that’s why you don’t understand why i couldn’t just sit back today and let... let you get hurt. i had to go in there, and i would do it again. no matter the outcome.” you iterate certainly, and natasha is looking at you with an unreadable expression. “you’re wrong.” natasha mutters, and you roll your eyes. “if you’re about to gaslight me into thinking i don’t love you, you can just go, nat. i’ve had a long day.” you say in a exhausted tone.

natasha grits her teeth, “you had a long day?! i just almost watched the woman i love get blown up because of me!” natasha shouts, and her hand clamps over her mouth as soon as the words leave her mouth. your eyebrows nearly meet your hairline as soon as you hear those words. “the— the woman you love...? you love me?” you ask, your tone laced with a bit of disbelief and giddiness as your eyes flutter up to meet hers. she takes a step backwards, shaking her head, “n-no i didn’t— i didn’t say that. you misheard.” she says simply, and you grin, finally the air is light again. you giggle despite your tears, “no, i’m pretty sure i heard correctly. i’m also pretty sure there’s high tech cameras in this room, i’ll just ask FRIDAY to run the video.” you shrug and she narrows her eyes at you. “you can, but then you’ll be disappointed because i didn’t say love.” she insists, lying right through her teeth.

“it’s too late for take backs, nat.” you flash her a feline smile, and she scoffs. “there’s nothing to take back!” she defends herself adamantly, and you frown. “oh... okay.” you feign disappointment, pretending to actually feel hurt. she rolls her eyes, crossing her arms again, “god, you’re such a baby. i can’t believe i’m in love with someone who acts like a child.” she murmurs, and your eyes light up. “you’re in love with me?!” you ask, and she looks up at the ceiling. “you keep mishearing things, y/n. you sure that bomb didn't affect your ears?" she plays dumb.

you groan in mock frustration, “naaat.” you drag out her name whiningly, and she can’t help but grin. “fine. maybe i said it. once or twice.” she murmurs finally giving in, and your face breaks out into a gigantic smile. “i knew it! i knew you loved me!” you exclaim as you throw your arms around her neck and pull her in for a hug as you stay seated on the small bed. she rolls her eyes, but eventually hugs back. “can i have a kiss now?! please?” you ask hopefully, and natasha sighs, rolling her eyes as she pretends to be annoyed.

she pulls away, and before you can say anything else, she’s cupping your jaw with one of her strong hands and leaning down to kiss you. your heart is on the brinks of exploding, and you have no idea where to put your hands, but they instinctively land on her waist while you kiss back. suddenly every dismal emotion you've felt today dissipates, and all you can feel is a burst of warm joy. when she pulls away there's this soft smile on her face, and her eyes are full of love. "totally worth almost dying." you whisper, and she rolls her eyes playfully as she leans in and kisses you again.

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