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#yellow grub
talos-stims · 6 months
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some fidgets | source
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simply-sithel · 1 year
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Was exceptionally lucky to both be invited to and able to attend the Seattle @renegadepublishing meetup shortly after Christmas! Always a joy to put faces to names, to see the movements and expressions that fill those gaps between bouts of speaking, to get my grubby paws and macro lens on them precious, precious books!
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Took so many photos, they will cover the next couple Mondays. Sadly I did a poor job tracking who's was what, so please enjoy works that are not my own and keep an eye out on the #bookbinding tag to see if you can pair them up with posted final products ;)
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pangolinheart · 1 year
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There are a lot of things the game just has you roll with despite being five existential crises in a trench coat.
Someone who's lived a very ordinary life is going to react differently.
For example, in the lost future from where G'raha came, Rhiki's family probably died horribly. In canon they're fine and alive and nothing has happened to them, but in the First, isn't that something Rhiki would get stuck on?
So, this has actually been a major sticking point for me in coming up with a backstory for Rhiki.
As I've mentioned before, with Rhiki's kind of run-of-the mill upbeat, outgoing, and peppy personality, along with her youthful optimism and emotional availability, it's hard to imagine that she has some sort of dark tragedy hidden in her background. Before her role as Warrior of Light really started to develop I thought of her as Just A Guy - becoming and adventurer as part of her "wayward-20-something's self-discovery phase. " She seems pretty well adjusted, with fair-to-good self-esteem and mental health (though both of these deteriorate over the course of the story as she becomes, like you so eloquently put it, five existential crises in a trench coat). So, a stable and loving upbringing with no major trauma makes a lot of sense.
But, at the same time, I think having a loving family or support system that's still intact throughout the story would really undermine a lot of her character development, or change the trajectory of it entirely. There are a lot of things that might not have bothered her as much, or people she might not have gotten as attached to, or choices she might not have made if she could go home and get a warm hug from her mom and/or dad. Part of what drives her story in the beginning is that she feels isolated. Moenbryda's death really drives a wedge between her and the scions - everyone is grieving in their own way, but the way Rhiki wants to grieve is not by herself. (she then conveniently makes a new friend but like two weeks later he says "sorry i'm locking myself in this tower forever because it's what a bunch of people who died 1000s of years ago and have never caused us anything but trouble would have wanted :///" We all WANT things G'raha.) She feels like nobody she works with really knows or is interested in her; they're just using her as a blank screen to project the idealized Warrior of Light that they want and need onto.
That's what drives her to become so close Haurchefant - he treats her like his good buddy, the adventurer rather than the Savior of Eorzea. And being so close to Haurchefant is what makes it so traumatic when he dies, which is what eventually leads to her becoming a Dark Knight and confronting some of her issues (so she can make room for more issues.) It feels like if she had supportive parents or a guardian or n extended family to return to who could, if not directly advise her or sympathize with her issues, at least affirm her identity and personhood and reassure her that there are people who care about her for who she is, all of these things would have been a lot less impactful. As I was playing and thinking about Rhiki I had a hard time imagining her taking a break to go have lunch with her parents, though she's definitely the kind of person who would do that if she could.
(It's also worth noting that I've never really envisioned Rhiki having a super-personal vendetta against Garlemald. She opposes them and their actions of course because Garlemald is such a caricature of an evil empire that an evil Ascian designing it specifically to be as cruel and malicious as possible is the most believable explanation for it's existence. But she doesn't have a burning hatred or desire for vengeance towards Gaius or Zenos or Varis or anything like that. I guess I could retcon one but honestly I think it's very funny that Rhiki can't be bothered to remember who Zenos is 90% of the time.)
So I've created a paradox for myself: she's so normal and positive that she almost can't have had anything super traumatic (like losing her parents) happen to her, but her loving parents/family/support system can't still be alive and intact at the beginning of her story for her to develop into the character she is.
Even without a family to worry about, I'm sure it's still horrifying to realize that in the currently-existing future everyone you know has died horribly. She has plenty of friends and loved ones outside of the Scions that got kidnapped and turned into ghosts on the first with her. But I feel like anyone who had any close ties to anyone other than Alphinaud, Alisaie, Thancred, Y'shtola, and Urianger would probably feel the same way. (Plus, she's immediately presented with a pretty "simple" way to avert that future so, y'know, she's just gotta focus on doing her job. She probably learned to tunnel-vision in on the steps to achieve her goal like 3 major catastrophes ago.)
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sandwizard9 · 10 months
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this game gives me an excuse to draw trolls teehee
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cupids-rentiaz · 2 years
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Why is he here. Where did he come from.
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urhoneycombwitch · 1 month
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imagine being loved by me
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🍯 honey flavour: your love has stood the test of time, thus far, but a party fit for a rockstar brings up some bitter emotions.
🐝 the bees: rockstar!Eddie x jealous!Reader
wc: 8k
cw: drugs and alcohol consumption, mentions of weight gain (eddie’s, in a positive manner), R has panic/anxiety attack, jealousy (talked about and resolved tho), softdom!Reader, softdom!Eddie, oral (E and R receiving), R has breasts + a V and referred to with she/her pronouns, P in V sex, cumming inside w/out protection
foreword: timeline is wobbly and may not align perfectly w canon bc I’m bad at math so shhhh suspend ur disbelief. based on this anon thank you v much anon <3
___
It’s the coldest January Hawkins has seen in ages. Snow banks sit high on the roadsides, air thick with snowflakes, three-AM fog brought in courtesy of the bitter wind chill. 
Under the yellow floodlight of a nearby streetlamp, your boyfriend is sucking down the last of a joint while you stamp your feet against the gravel parking lot.
“C’mon, Eddie,” you whine, crossing the arms of your fleeced puffer jacket, bouncing on your heels to keep the blood flowing. “My toes are gonna get frostbite.”
“A touch dramatic,” Eddie replies, unbothered. The cherry of the joint between his lips burns orange, casting a warm glow over Eddie’s cheekbones, the twinkle of snowflakes caught in his bangs. “I told you to go in without me, princess. Warmer in there.”
“Without you? As if.” You pull the pity card, and it works, ‘cuz it always does- that boy has got to learn how to say no to you, one of these days. 
Not today, though, because Eddie is tamping out the ember on the sole of his boot and crunching up the snowy path to sling an arm around your neck.
“Grub time,” he says against your hair, pressing his cold lips to the side of your forehead as you both make your way into Benny’s Burgers.
The heated air is a welcome relief, and save for a couple of old-timers at a side table, you and Eddie are the only customers in the place. 
Benny greets you both from where he’s flipping patties on the kitchen grill, waving a spatula at the corner booth- “All yours, kiddos. Want the usual?”
You and Eddie call out affirmatives as you sink into opposing seats, unwrapping yourselves from all your winter gear as you go.
“God bless Benny Hammond for expanding his night hours,” you say, piling your green scarf on the tabletop. “This is a good tradition for us, y’know. Post-band practice smoking and coffee- very rock and roll.”
“I concur.” Eddie tosses his knit hat at you playfully. “You, my lady, have the most rock ‘n roll soul I ever did see.”
As Benny approaches with two mugs of steaming coffee, you muse aloud, “Not sure if the amount of sugar you’re about to dump in your coffee is very metal, per se...”
“Y’hear that, Benny?” Eddie grabs a fistful of sugar packets and shakes them indignantly. “My girl’s trying to keep me on the straight and narrow. How’s a rockstar s’posed to live in these conditions?”
“Lord knows,” Benny says, sardonic, setting the mugs down and turning back to the kitchen.
Eddie winces as his hands wrap around the heat of the mug, and you notice right away. “Your fingers splitting again? I have that salve that you used last time, but it’s back at the trailer.”
He puts his hand face-up onto the table, and you slip yours into his, the deep fingertip grooves from guitar strings rough against your soft palm.
“I’ll live. Plus, it’s kind of metal, right?” Eddie runs a calloused thumb across the back of your hand.
You squeeze back, give him a wink. “Very metal.”
Eddie’s been working himself to the bone lately. Trying to stay in school and not drop out is a feat in itself, but compounded with the band practices that have only ramped up in length recently, it’s a lot to balance.
He hasn’t complained at all, of course. It’s not really in his nature.
In the past few weeks, however, he’s been imbued with this near-manic energy, a renewed sense of purpose. In between your own fitful sleeps you often wake in the early hours of the morning to find Eddie hunched over his desk, pen flying across his notebook as he reworks an old song or outlines a new one. Not that you weren’t proud of him before, but seeing him apply this newfound passion to his music has been a huge source of joy for you. 
And, if you’re being really honest, also a major turn on. I mean, the boy’s got swagger like no other, and you’re so glad he’s finally utilizing it on stage. Even if that stage is in the middle of a piece of shit dive bar. Still counts, in your book.
Benny drops off baskets of hot fries, a burger for Eddie, and a BLT for you. Methodic and familiar, you offload half your fries to Eddie’s basket as he slides his burger towards you for the first bite. 
After a few minutes of peaceful eating, Eddie balls up a napkin in his fist and raps the table with his knuckles. “So, uh. Kind of have some news.”
You slot the ketchup bottle back into its metal holder and look up with raised brows. “Yeah?”
“Yeah.” He looks suddenly nervous, knee knocking into the underside of the table as he bounces his leg compulsively. “You remember Paige Warner? Graduated in ‘81, brother is a baseball jock?”
When you nod, Eddie blows out a breath- his unease is kind of setting you on edge. 
“What about Paige Warner?” you prompt.
“She moved out to L.A. for a job and she’s working this scouting gig for some bigshot record,” he continues, absently pulling the thin napkin in his hands into pieces, staring vacantly at the mess. “And she wants Corroded Coffin to record and send out a demo to the label.”
As the news sinks in, your jaw drops. “Holy shit. What?”
“Yeah.” Eddie’s fidgeting with the paper scraps now, still not making eye contact with you. “She wants us to start recording next week. I haven’t told anyone else, yet, I wanted to make sure you were the first-”
You interrupt him with an excited little squeal (drawing glares from the old guys across the diner) and shove up from your side of the table to throw your arms around Eddie.
“Holy shit,” you repeat, laughing as Eddie pulls you into his lap- “Eddie, that’s amazing!”
“You think so?” he asks, your enthusiasm allowing his own to creep in; He slides his hands to your denim-clad hips, his self-professed favorite stress toy (well, tied for favorite with your thighs). 
“How come you were so nervous to tell me?” You ask him, gently, tucking his dark hair behind his ears so you can see his face better. “Were you thinking I’d react differently?”
He looks up at you wide-eyed, shakes his head- “No, no, I wasn’t worried about you reacting a certain way. I just… I’m just worried about what this’ll mean. You know. For us.”
“Us?” You echo, encouraging him to continue. 
Eddie squeezes at your hips, presses the crown of his head against your collarbone like he’s mustering up the courage to speak. “Yeah, us. I know L.A. isn’t your dream- shit, I don’t even know if it’s mine- but you didn’t sign up to go on the road like this. You’ve got college to consider, and-”
“So I’ll take a gap year,” you interrupt, putting a hand to his cheek to make him look at you again, and when he starts to protest, you talk over him. “No, Eddie, I’m serious. I don’t know what the hell I wanna do with my life yet anyways. Following my hot rockstar boyfriend to a new town sounds like a pretty good deal to me.”
He shakes his head again, and you can feel his dimples spring to life under your hand as he teases, “Gonna be my little groupie?”
“And more,” you confirm, giving him a kiss (chaste, so as not to invoke any more ire from the grumpy other customers) and sliding off his lap to return to your own seat. “I’ll be your assistant extraordinaire, if you want. Or bodyguard. Make sure none of the other groupie chicks get too close.”
Eddie rolls his eyes, fondly. “You’re the only groupie I need, sweetheart.”
Settling back into your respective seats, you both work on the last basket of fries while chatting genially about the future. Eddie mentions getting an apartment in Los Angeles, so there’s less of a commute, which branches the conversation into the logistics of a cross-country move, and then on to more important topics such as the alleged coolness of west-coast parties. 
“Who’s your celebrity hall pass?” you ask, out of pure interest, dipping a fry into the well of ketchup. “Like, say you’re rubbing elbows at some famous muckety-muck’s party and someone catches your eye. Who’re you taking back to the motel for a slutty roll in the hay?”
Eddie snickers at your phrasing, then says, “I mean, preferably, my super hot girlfriend-”
You throw a fry at his head. “That’s such a cop-out answer. In this hypothetical, Joan Jett is in red leather petting up on you and you’re saying you wouldn’t take her up on a one-night stand?”
A laugh bursts out of Eddie, a real, proper one where he throws his head back. “Are you actively encouraging me to hook up with some bimbo at a random party? Without you? Unlikely scenario on all fronts, babe.”
This earns him another launched fry, and he squawks, trying to shake it out of its place caught in his hair as you reprimand him- “Joan Jett is not some bimbo, watch your mouth! And what I’m saying is, if you didn’t at least try to score us a threesome with her, I’d be pissed.”
“Okay, baby,” Eddie soothes you a tad derisively, likely a ploy to avoid more flying food- “if I meet Joan Jett I will do my level best to get her in our bed. Scout’s honor.”
He holds up two fingers and wiggles them obscenely, grinning when you laugh again. “All right, Nosey McGee. Who are you taking home from the party?”
You hum, eyes flicking up to the ceiling, contemplating the options. “I guess I could be talked into a night with Kirk Hammett.”
Eddie’s turn to launch a fry. “You slut,” he chuckles, “That was a way quicker answer than mine.”
“Okay, fine. If I meet Kirk Hammett, I promise to at least make a bid for threesome. Deal?” You extend your pinkie across the table.
Eddie loops his little finger into yours. “Deal.”
____
The memory of that cozy diner evening years ago fades as you shake yourself to the present.
You aren’t two highschool kids with lofty dreams, anymore- after Eddie’s recovery from all that Upside Down bullshit in ‘86, Corroded Coffin took off. Even though Paige didn’t end up coming through with any deals, Eddie and his bandmates fought like hell to get signed- and by the end of that year, a small record label in the heart of downtown Chicago had taken the bait.
Corroded Coffin turned out to be the best thing to ever happen to Arken Records; by the spring of ‘87, business was booming thanks to the help of Corroded’s debut album, The Banished Ones- their new single was a chart-topper for over 6 weeks. (Smash Hit magazine’s latest review was titled “Fresh Sound Rises from Dirt Nowhere.” You have the paper clipping saved in your ever-growing folder with “rockstar boyfriend!!!” handwritten in black ink.) 
And in a few weeks, the band will set off on their first real tour, starting in Chicago and ending with a bang in an already sold-out show in Hawkins- Dustin, Steve, and the rest of the gang with VIP front-row seats, of course. 
As much as you and Eddie have grown and matured in the past few years, the core of you both has remained the same. Eddie is still just as dorky, goofy, and caring as he always has been, while you’ve kept that tenacious spirit and quick wit that he fell in love with back in the early days of dating. Even now, with his popularity rising and his rockstar dreams on their way to coming true, Eddie constantly brings his focus back to you. 
Pillow talks in cushy hotel beds, late night ramblings over post-show whiskeys, holding hands in the back of yet another cab- when he could be talking about the thousands of exciting things happening in his own life, Eddie is asking about you.
Did you talk to Robin last night, sweetheart? How’s ‘ol Birdie doin? What do you wanna wear to that dinner thingy tomorrow… could go naked for all I care. In fact you probably should because of feminism and all that. Did you sleep okay last night? Let me look at ya. You thinkin’ any more about those applications you got?
You’d taken a gap year to support Eddie, which you were happy to do, but with ‘87 drawing to a close, he’s been more insistent lately that you take a look at all your college options. Honestly, you’ve been enjoying the adventures that come with touring way too much to consider going back to the rigidity of school. 
And plus, having the love of your life nearly bleed out in your arms in a parallel dimension has totally realigned your priorities. If folks thought you and Eddie were attached at the hip before… 
He’ll likely argue you into academia, eventually. He always rolls high on persuasion. Damn him.
For now, you’ve got a party to attend. 
Arken Records is playing host, on the last night of 1987- in celebration of Corroded Coffin’s success and to kick off the New Year’s festivities, they’ve rented out a house in east Chicago for the event. 
Well, house isn’t the right word. More like mansion. Vaulted ceilings tall as a church’s, huge windows overlooking the Chicago river, a grand chandelier with flickering candles in nearly every room. 
When you and Eddie had toured the place a few days previous, he’d made a joking complaint low in your ear about not having the time to fuck you on every surface. Your laugh had reverberated off the sweeping mahogany floorboards, mostly at the expense of Eddie’s poor publicist who’d happened to hear his comment. (Melanie had really been putting in overtime lately; you made a mental note to send her a very nice flower arrangement and vouchers for a spa trip.)
The party was in full swing by the time you and Eddie arrived, fashionably late, and he had been folded into the throng of other musicians and partygoers against his will pretty much immediately- which you’d expected. The last hour, he’s been throwing you piteous looks from his spot across the room, where he hasn’t had the chance to move an inch with the amount of people keeping the conversation going. You’ve slipped to his side a few times, refreshing his drink, letting him curl an arm around your waist as you perch on his knee, only half-focused on whatever story some producer is saying as Eddie’s hand trails up your thigh. 
You’re back on the nearest wall again, sipping champagne, taking it all in. There are probably over a hundred people crammed into this banquet room, bass thumping through the floorboards, tables shoved to the outer corners making space for a makeshift dance space. 
The air is hazy with smoke from various cigarettes and joints; as the night has progressed, the smell of freshly-applied cologne has been replaced with heady sweat as the dance floor calls more people to writhe and grind in groups and partners. Eddie is still stuck in the lone pod of living room chairs, surrounded by a rapt audience of people crammed in to hear him better over the blaring music.
He looks damn good tonight, in a cut-off black tee and his favorite ripped jeans, leather jacket hung on the chair behind him. Silver catches the light from every angle- on the chains at his hips, around his neck, glinting off his rings as he gestures animatedly mid-story. He’d asked you to do his eyeliner at the hotel earlier, and although it’s smudged and blurred at the edges now he’s still pulling it off. Tiny silver stars, hand-drawn with your eyeshadow brush, twinkle across his cheeks like freckles.
Eddie wanted to match with you, whined until you added a belt made of gold-plated stars to your outfit. You went simple, the gold to his silver- belt cinching your short black satin slip dress, delicate brass rings and bracelets around your fingers and bare forearms. The one piece of silver you are wearing is a chain around your neck, Eddie’s guitar pick nestled snug between your breasts. 
You still resolutely refuse to wear heels, even after Eddie’s stylist cajoled you into practicing on stilettos for a disastrous media training session last month- tonight you’re in a chic pair of Mary Janes with the slightest suggestion of a heel. Compromise. 
There’s a big laugh from the crowd in the corner again as Eddie knocks a hand into Gareth’s chest for emphasis, nearly knocking the younger boy off his seat. You stare unabashedly at Eddie’s forearms, biceps on full display; he’s filled out a bit since leaving home, his usually lean frame boasting a bit more weight and bulk now that he’s got consistent access to well-rounded meals. 
He’s looking healthy, down right glowy. You’re thinking about that smattered trail of dark hair that slides down the crest of his stomach, now with extra padding enough to sink your teeth into. As if he knows, Eddie catches your eye from across the room and winks, cheekily. 
You shiver and unconsciously press your thighs together, hiding your grin with another swallow of champagne.
The alcohol turns a bit sour going down, though, as a crimped-haired blonde girl worms her way to Eddie’s side, laughing a little too loudly at the joke he just told. When she places a manicured hand on one of his shoulders, the thin stem of your glass nearly snaps in your grip.
The thing about rockstars is they have crazy sex appeal. The thing about your rockstar is he’s only interested in you, something that has been proved many times over.
So why is tonight hitting you so hard? Why do you feel nauseous the longer Eddie lets some random woman’s hand stay on his bare skin when you know he’s going home with you, and only you?
Maybe it’s the alcohol, or the overcrowded room, or the memories of Benny’s diner still lingering like a bruise in your mind. Hard to pinpoint exactly. All you know is that jealousy is gnawing like a thing raw and seeking in the pit of your stomach, and if you don’t get out of this stuffy room soon you’re gonna do something tabloid-worthy, like cry in the middle of a New Year’s Eve party.
By the grace of some god you make it across the dance floor and into a side bathroom unscathed, the pulsing sound of the party blissfully dimming as you shut the door behind you. Your mind whirls as you grip the gilded sink for stability, blinking hard at the tears beginning to form. 
You love having a boyfriend who’s larger than life. You love that he’s taking up space and getting to use that charm that was nurtured on the DM throne back in Hawkins. You’re so proud of him, you really are. 
You’re just starting to hate the way other people’s surface-level love of him makes you feel.
Because that’s what it is, right? Just surface-level, you reason with yourself- the level of intimacy that you and Eddie have is unmatched, something that the newly-formed masses of admirers won’t ever get to experience.
Christ, can jealousy give you hives? You grab a handful of paper towels and soak them in cold tap water, then press the damp bundle to your chest, breath stuttering.
You’ve never been the jealous type, or the overbearing type- it’s a new feeling, and maybe that’s why it feels so scary. The more you try to tamp it down, the more it rears its ugly head, making you, in turn, feel embarrassed for having such a strong reaction in the first place.
It’s a vicious cycle that’s only seeming to gain speed as you realize you haven’t yet managed a full breath since coming to your hiding spot. Your lungs are pinched and burning as you drop the soggy paper into the sink, leaning into the lip of the porcelain to steady yourself.
There’s a knock on the door, and you choke out “Just a minute”, not sure if the person on the other side can even hear you over the music when Eddie’s voice leaks through.
“Baby? That you in there?”
Against your better judgment, you open the door, and he crams in the small space, locking it again behind himself.
“There you are, I saw you leave and thought you were getting a drink or something but then you didn’t come back and- are you okay?”
He interrupts his own stream of consciousness when he notices the state you’re in. You give him a trembly smile, waving a hand dismissively.
“Yeah, all good. I’ll come back with you, just needed to pee.”
Eddie is not so easily thrown off the scent. He murmurs your name, sliding his hand into yours, looking at you with a wounded puppy gaze- fuck, you can’t have a breakdown. Not here, not on New Year’s in some knockoff-Playboy’s bathroom.
And certainly not in front of Eddie, who’s asking you to tell him what’s wrong, what happened, with an increasingly pleading tone that’s really, really not helping your whole Don’t Cry agenda. 
Hoping your voice doesn’t break, you clear your throat and pull your hand from his grasp. “Nothing happened, okay? I just had too much to drink, feeling overly sentimental or something. I’m okay.”
You think your white lie was convincing enough when Eddie reaches back for the door handle, that maybe he’ll rejoin the party and leave you to have a good cry, but after poking his head out the doorway briefly he grabs onto your wrist, tugging you to his side and hissing “Quick!”
And then you’re both making a break for it down the mostly-empty hallway, Eddie pulling you smoothly past a wall of expensive-looking oil paintings before going through a set of double doors that lead to the outside.
It’s December in Chicago, which means a light layer of snow covers the terraced garden that Eddie is leading you through, stopping at a stone bench flanked by two scraggly bushes. 
“Made it,” he huffs with exertion, dropping your hand to shrug his leather jacket off in favor of draping it around your own shoulders.
“You’re gonna be cold,” you sniffle, partly from the tears, partly from the crisp night air.
“Yeah,” he agrees easily, wrapping you in a hug. You press your forehead to his chest. “Got my girl to keep me warm, though.”
You stay like this for a few moments, his arms solid around you, breaths coming easier as the familiar smell of his tangy skin and that spicy bar soap he uses fills your senses.
“You gonna tell me what’s wrong?” he asks, gently, holding you at arm’s length to study your face.
When you shrug, unsure of where to start, he lets go of you and walks backwards, taking an unflinching seat on the snow-covered bench.
You gasp despite yourself, reaching to pull him up even as he twists out of your grasp- “Eddie, jesus, you’re literally gonna freeze your ass off. Get up!”
But he’s solid in his seat, widening his stance, boots planted on the ground- “I’m not moving until you tell me what’s going on in that head of yours, so you better start talking before my jeans freeze to the concrete.”
“It’s nothing,” you insist, but he’s giving you that look again, the one that cracks through the tough exterior every time, and you wrap your arms around yourself under the warmth of his jacket as you admit, “Okay, fine. It’s something. I’m just… having an overreaction.”
“To the shellfish?” he deadpans.
“No, asshole, to the blonde girl who was rubbing up on you earlier,” you snap.
Eddie blinks, genuine confusion in his voice- “There was a blonde girl… rubbing up on me?”
“She was petting your shoulder,” you continue, scuffing the toe of your shoe against the ground. “She was touching you, and I got- jealous, I guess.”
“Baby, if it makes you feel any better, I don’t remember her, at all,” Eddie emphasizes, spreading a palm flat against his chest in a gesture of sincerity, hair shifting across his shoulders as he cocks his head to the side.
His face is too familiar, too earnest for you to be able to say what you’re feeling without bursting into tears, so you turn on your heel, pacing a short loop in front of the bench, your breath hanging in misty clouds as you speak. 
“It’s not even about her, necessarily. It’s about me and my stupid emotions. I’m not usually like this- jealous, you know? Like, I’m so proud of you, and everything you’ve accomplished, and I don’t mind sharing you, really I don’t, it’s just…”
You pause in your pacing, let your head drop back to look at the inky black sky pinpricked with stars, and your next words fall out like a confession.
“I just feel like I’m in mourning.”
You can feel his eyes on you still, as you loose the feeling that’s been caught tight in your chest. “It sounds so dramatic, when I say it like that. But I think that’s what it is. I miss when it was just the two of us, in this little bubble where no one knew our names and we just had each other.”
As the words leave your mouth, you scramble to explain, to soften the blow, hands tightening around your upper arms as you turn back to face the boy on the bench. “And I don’t mean to sound ungrateful, or, like, a total jealous bitch, because I really love you and I hope you know I’m not- are you laughing?”
Eddie tries his best to stifle the laughter into his fist when he sees how indignant you look. He rises from the bench, still a bit mirthful, pulling you back into his space. “Sorry, honey, I’m not making fun of you, I promise.”
You’re glaring at him now, and he ducks to kiss at the lines between your brow before pulling back and saying, “I think what you’re feeling is normal, and I don’t think you’re overreacting at all. Remember that asshole at the Smith Center party who kept trying to get your number right in front of me?”
“Vaguely.”
“I wanted to punch his lights out. Make a real scene, kiss you sloppy in front of some cameras.” Eddie cups your face in his hands, soothing his thumb against the wetness of your lashline. “What I’m saying is, I get jealous, too. And I don’t think that’s a bad thing.”
“But…” there’s a well of emotions that you’re drawing from, and it’s not empty yet, one nagging thought still surfacing. “But these girls that are coming on to you, they’re like… really hot. I don’t look anything like them.”
Eddie frowns. “Are you seriously trying to make a case for yourself on the grounds of not being really hot? That’s not gonna hold up in court, gorgeous. I mean… have you even looked in a mirror recently?”
He lightly taps his knuckle against your head, trying to get you to crack a smile, but you’re not ready to give in yet. 
“You don’t think you’ll get bored of me?” you whisper, dropping your eyes from his consuming gaze to the wyvern inked on the inside of his arm. 
“Sweetheart…” Eddie sounds genuinely pained. The ink in his skin stretches as he slips a hand to the back of your neck, cold rings against your skin making you shiver. “I couldn’t ever get bored of you. Not in a million years. We've been through too much together for you to think like that, hm?”
He strokes his thumb down the column of your neck, those doey brown eyes on you again. “Now I’m not saying you shouldn’t ever be jealous, ‘cuz god knows it makes me hot under the collar when you are. But I’m sayin’ I never wanna make you feel like you need to earn me, okay?”
His thumb tracks back up to the hollow of your jaw, taps twice questioningly, and you nod, letting out a shaky, “Okay.”
When he kisses you, it feels like every other time- comfortable, grounding, familiar. His tongue presses against the seam of your lips, and you let him lick into your mouth, gripping at his arms, flushing hot as you give it back to him in spades.
With a short groan, he pulls back, a wet click as your mouths separate- “As much as I wanna jump your bones in this wintry wonderland, I think the snow might’ve actually frozen my balls off.”
You giggle, spanning your hands around the meat of his waist, kissing up into his mouth again- “Poor baby. Want me to warm ‘em up in my mouth?”
He gives a solid smack to your ass for that, his palm smoothing over the stinging skin with condescension when you yelp- “All dish and no take, baby? Not exactly fair.”
____
Despite your weak protestations that you both should probably rejoin the party, at least until midnight, Eddie insists on taking you back to the hotel. 
“This party blows, anyways,” he says over his shoulder to you as he leads you back through the halls of the house. “If I hear one more Tears for Fears track I might throw myself into the river from one of the hundred balconies in this place.”
He manages to track down Melanie with some effort, winding his way through the throng of people to where she’d been chatting with a reporter, plucking at her elbow to get her away from the crowd and into the quieter hallway with you.  
“We gotta scoot, Mel,” he tells her, really hamming up the charm as the young publicist widens her eyes. “Think you can get us a ride outta here?”
“Mr. Munson, you can’t just leave,” Melanie insists, frazzled. “Someone from Rolling Stone has been waiting for the last hour to talk to you, if you could just-”
“No can do.” Eddie shakes his head, mock-apologetic. “There’s been an accident. Of a personal nature.”
You manage to choke down your laughter as Eddie turns around to show off the dark stains on the back of his jeans. They’re just wet from the snow that he sat in earlier, of course, but it looks convincing enough to make Melanie blanch and pinch the bridge of her nose.
“I’ll have a cab out front in ten for you both. Please keep a low profile until then.”
Eddie gives a sharp salute and you mouth an apology at her before she retreats to find a phone.
Okay, so maybe add a hefty bonus to that Nice Things for Melanie list of yours. 
____
One of the perks of having a rockstar for a boyfriend is the sweet digs- the label shelled out for Chicago’s finest penthouse suite; an entire luxurious upper floor with a private elevator, windows overlooking the far-below city lights, and a sunken bath big enough for two.
Also included? Soundproof walls.
A perk you’re very grateful for as Eddie walks you backwards into the room, sucking a mark with stinging teeth into your neck as you moan, then giggle breathily, admonishing- “Christ, Eddie, slow down. We have all night.”
Eddie pulls back just far enough to frown down at you, his hands slipping under the hem of your dress to squeeze at your ass. His rings are cold against your bare flesh, and he grins when you shiver. “Uh huh. Sure do have all night. You gonna take advantage of that?”
He wiggles his eyebrows, cheekily, but that smirk drops from his face in record time the second you shove him to the bed. As his knees give out in favor of sitting on the mattress, you steady your hands against his broad shoulders to swing yourself into his lap.
Eddie’s looking up at you, cinnamon eyes darkened with lust- it makes your stomach flip something awful. Your skin feels alight with heat as Eddie’s hands drip like water down your sides, then to your parted thighs.
You sigh into his mouth as his fingers trace the front of your underwear, the silk sticky with your arousal.
“Oh, baby,” Eddie says, equal parts admonishment and pitying as you squirm into his touch. “What’s got you this worked up, hm?”
He’s asking like he doesn’t know- like he didn’t tease you with filthy whispers and wandering hands in the back of the car the whole way here. 
“Whaddya think,” you scoff, not quite ready to give in yet, enjoying the thrill of being cagey as Eddie hooks a finger to tuck your panties to the side.
He grins, simmering, enjoying the chase just as much as you. His middle finger swipes through your folds and you shudder in his arms, hands tightening into the meat of his shoulders as he brings the wetness up to your clit.
Eddie rubs quick, steady circles until you’re mewling, bucking hips grinding down to seek more friction. You can feel the wetness seeping out of your core, dampening his jeans as he licks back into your mouth, capturing the soft noises you’re making as he winds you up.
“Can’t believe a pretty thing like you has anything to be jealous of.” Eddie noses at the spot under your jaw, and when you let your head fall back on a hinge to grant him access, he sucks another mark into the column of your throat. “‘M all yours, sweetheart. You gonna take what’s yours?”
Truth be told, your mind went fuzzy the second Eddie got his hands on your clit, the consistent build of pleasure sparking between your legs rather distracting. You’d almost forgotten how the night had started, but you let the jealousy and possessiveness creep back in as you push at Eddie’s chest.
He goes down easily, toeing his boots off and lying flat on the mattress; big hands settle on your waist as you rest your weight into him, warm cunt pressing against the bulge of his clothed cock.
At a light drag of your nails against his bare chest and across his nipple, Eddie groans low, squeezing your hips and rucking into you.
“You’re all mine, Eddie, right?” 
His pupils nearly eclipsing their soft brown irises, Eddie stares up at you like you hang the moon and stars every night just for him. “Yeah, sweetheart. ‘M all yours. Lemme show you.”
Eddie pulls at the backs of your legs, helping you shuffle up his body until your knees are dipping into the mattress at either side of his head. Your core hovers just above Eddie’s mouth- you can feel his breath speed up on the inside of your thigh at this new position. 
“Oh, fuck, Eddie- jesus… christ,” the last word ending in a moan as Eddie’s tongue licks a wet stripe through your folds. 
He pulls you closer with an arm over each thigh until you’re sitting on his face, his nose hitting your clit with each tilt of his head. You’ve got no idea how he’s able to breathe down there but you’re hardly able to hold onto that thought when his tongue has started plunging in and out of you.
Automatically, your hands shoot out to stabilize yourself- one hand goes to the headboard and the other ends up in his hair, gripping the roots hard. Eddie groans, sending vibrations that make your cunt clench around his lithe tongue.
“Like the taste of my pussy, baby?” you coo down at him, regaining some of your breath to give him attitude. 
Reaching a hand back to palm at his cock, you say “No one else can have you like this, hm?”
Eddie catches your eyes as he mouths wetly at your clit, then sucks it into his mouth. Your thighs shake around his ears, your orgasm unfurling in clenching ripples.
“Oh, yeah, Eddie, fuck, I’m coming- just like that, fuck fuck fuck…”
He doesn’t stop suckling at you until you’re gushing around his mouth, then pulling him off by his hair to make him stop.
Eddie heaves in a breath, kissing at the inside of your thigh, his lips and chin shiny with your release. “God, baby. Such pretty noises for me.”
“Mhm.” You shuffle down until your hips are aligned over his, then lean in to lick his mouth clean. “Gonna make some pretty ones for me, now?”
After helping pull his shirt off, Eddie whines softly as you press kisses down his bare chest, and by the time your mouth is pressing over that dark trail of hair that leads into his denim, Eddie’s begging.
“Please, angel, please- need your mouth. Do anything for it, baby, please…”
You rub your cheek against his bulge before pulling back to pop the button on his jeans, then help him shift them down and off his body. Once his black briefs join the growing pile of floor clothes, Eddie’s completely bare and at your mercy.
He gets on his elbows to watch as you mouth at the inside of his thigh, dark hair splayed around his shoulders, chest heaving when you ignore his leaking cock in favor of grazing your teeth against a sensitive spot. “Fuckin’- christ, sweetheart. Come on. Please?”
“Sound pretty when you beg,” you say, mildly, kissing across his heavy sack, hiding a smile when the contact makes him jolt. “Gonna do it some more?”
You keep eye contact as you take one of his balls into your mouth, watching his own eyes roll back so far you can see the whites of them as you use your tongue on him. 
“-yeah, baby, yeah- just like that- fucking, fuck, you’re killin’ me…”
Eddie sounds wrecked already, and a hot flush of pride courses through your body at the knowledge that he could come from just this and it’d be you getting him there. 
You mouth over to the other side of his sack, rolling the skin wiry with coarse hair against your tongue as Eddie moans above you. When your hand wraps around the base of his cock, starting to move in tandem with the pull of your mouth, Eddie makes a noise like he’s been punched.
A line of drool breaks and hits wet against your chin as you straighten up, settling yourself into the V of his legs and using his thighs as handholds while you begin to kiss up the line of his leaking cock.
He’s got a gorgeous dick, truly. Thick and long, curving slightly to the right, a pretty blue vein snaking up the underside that you lathe your tongue against, seeking out the salty brine at the ruddy head.
Eddie moans, brokenly, white-knuckled hands twisting into the sheets. When your mouth closes around the tip, his elbows give out, leaving him flat against the mattress as you work his length further in.
“Oh my god. Oh, fuck, baby. Please don’t stop. Please. Y’feel so good…”
You hum around the stretch of him in your mouth, relaxing your throat to draw him in a bit more. The spiky jealousy from earlier really is your biggest motivator here; covetous, you’re thinking back to all those first times with Eddie- trembling hands under your bedsheets back in Hawkins, stilted voices and giggles to cover up the awkwardness of trying to learn the other person’s body.
No one will ever know him like you do. No one will ever have all that shared history, those fumbling nights that slowly turned to lovesick days; memories of him on his knees for you, learning all the little things that make you tick, memorizing the song of your body.
The boy is all yours. 
Your throat automatically constricts at the intrusion of Eddie’s cock slipping past your soft palate- his hips cant up, which you can hardly fault him for, patient as he’s been with your retrospective and teasing.
Before he can apologize you’re sitting up, wiping at the excess drool with the back of your hand and shucking your dress over your head, letting it and your belt fall to the floor with a soft clunk.
Eddie reaches for you again as you slide your panties down and off, and you let him help you up his body, your knees coming to rest alongside the lightly raised scar tissue at his sides. You stroke a hand down his chest, giving in to a moment of softness before seating yourself fully in Eddie’s lap.
His hands snap to your hips, a near-brutal squeeze as you sink onto his cock. The stretch is always an adjustment, but you’re so wet right now that he slides in easily, a breathy moan from the both of you as the walls of your cunt fit snug around his sizeable length.
“Fuck, you’re perfect.” The crown of Eddie’s head is pressed back into the bed, veins in his taut neck on full display as your hips start to swivel, blunt nails scraping into the soft flesh of your waist. “Just like that, sweetheart. Fuck me.”
With your knees planted on either side of his body, you begin to bounce in steady, rhythmic earnest, going for gold, the desire to bring your boy to the babbling edge overtaking every other thought.
“Feel so good, Eds, so big… can barely fit…” There’s a wet squelch accompanying each bounce now, slick dripping down to the base of his cock, your vice of a cunt flexing with every movement.
“S’all you, baby,” Eddie rasps out, toes curling in the efforts to keep his orgasm at bay for awhile longer. “Got a perfect pussy. Takin’ me so well.”
He’s almost in delirium territory, with you chasing after that bright unwinding pleasure at both of your cores; your hips stutter, hands flat on Eddie’s chest to center yourself, a hunger that you can’t seem to satiate gnawing at the edges.
Eddie notices immediately, feels the falter in your motion and brings his hands to your forearms, rubbing a path up them soothingly- “What’s wrong, angel, hm?”
You’re not sure how to put it into words, wishing (not for the first time) that you could just rest your forehead against his and transmit all the complexities of your emotions through touch alone. 
Instead, you sigh out the name that you use when you’re done with taking, a name that lights Eddie up from head to toe as you say it- “Teddy.”
In one swift movement, Eddie slips an arm behind your back and flips you to the mattress, his hair a curtain around both your faces as he leans in to whisper against your mouth- “Teddy’s got you. Arms around me.”
You’re quick to obey, looping your arms around Eddie’s wide shoulders. He slides one hand up the back of your leg, pushing a knee up until it’s at your chest, mouth dropping open briefly when the new angle allows the head of his cock to kiss against that gummy upper wall of your cunt.
“Bored of you,” he huffs, recalling your words from earlier with disdain. “You’re talkin’ to the guy who memorized the first six chapters of The Hobbit just to recite for your bedtime.”
A quick thrust of his pelvis into yours has your stomach clenching in anticipation, brows on a tilt and knitting together as Eddie grins down at you. “Got a wicked attention span, baby. Lemme show you.”
He starts slow, agonizingly so, every inch of his thick cock dragging in and out, wetness pooling down your ass and probably the sheets, too; errant thoughts of housekeeping are rapidly erased as Eddie begins snapping his hips into yours in faster tempo.
He’s working to find that spot, the one that turns your brain to mush and is guaranteed to cause full-body muscle fatigue from the force of your orgasm. Your back arches off the bed, breasts pushing into Eddie’s chest, one arm still supporting your lower back as he laughs hoarsely, half-amazement and half-pride.
“That’s the spot, huh, sweetheart? Atta girl. M’all yours. Take it. Good girl…”
With each thrust, the wiry patch of hair dusted across Eddie’s pubic bone grinds slick and filthy against your clit. You’re so close to the edge now, a wave of pleasure cresting as you look up at Eddie.
There are two thin tracks of black makeup trailing down his face from where tears have made a mess of his eyeliner; rosy spots of flushed color in his cheeks, eyes like twin pools of chocolate, locked with yours as he rocks into you. 
He’s learned the song of your body so well, knows every chord to strike- his hand leaves your leg to grasp at your breast, calloused palm against pebbled nipple sending more shockwaves through your body, applying just the right amount of pressure to make you sing for him.
“All yours,” you gasp out, and it feels like victory when his hips stutter and the cresting wave crashes around you both at the same time.
The pleasure roils through your gut, clit throbbing and cunt spasming around Eddie’s cock as he spills into you. 
A wrecked, broken string of moans leaves you as you ride out the highs together. Eddie presses his forehead to your collarbone as he chants your name, twitching out the last of his spend, warmth blooming inside. 
The quiet that follows is filled with shaking breaths, soft kisses, murmurs of “good job, sweetheart” as you both float back down to earth.
Eddie stays in you for longer than usual, his draped weight a grounding comfort as you trail gentle fingertips up and down his skin, lovingly against the scars that interrupt the smooth flesh of his back. Through the closed windows, you can hear the distant sounds of car horns and the deep boom of fireworks. 
Sometime in the last foggy hour of lovemaking, 1987 has given way to a new year. 
Eddie pulls his heavy head up from your chest to press kisses to your collarbone. “Happy new year, lover.”
You tuck his hair behind his ears, hands squishing lightly at his cheeks to bring his face close enough for a kiss. “Happy new year to you. Hell of a way to kick it off.”
Eventually, Eddie extricates himself from the intoxicating heat of your body (with minimal whining) and brings a warm washcloth to tenderly wipe away the mess between your thighs. Once you’re both cleaned up, he stretches out against the sheets, pulling the covers up as you hook a leg around his waist and snuggle in. 
“So I was thinking,” he starts, pressing a kiss to the crown of your head, “I wanna take a trip back to Hawkins. Before the tour.”
Your hand stills in its rhythmic circles against Eddie’s chest; heart in your throat, you tilt your chin up so you can gauge Eddie’s reaction. “...yeah?”
“Yeah.” Eddie picks up your hand on his chest, twining his fingers with your as his other hand settles on your bare hip beneath the sheets. “Could visit Wayne for a few days, fool around in that twin bed like we’re teens again.”
He grins at your giggle, taps playfully at your hip- “Gonna parade you around all our old haunts. You’ve gotten even hotter since we left, babe. Gotta really rub it in the faces of those Hawkins Tigers burnouts whose best dates are their own left hands.”
You snort, and Eddie looks pleased again, but then sobers a bit before saying- “I mean, I’ve got my piece of home with me. But I think it could be good, to visit. Just the two of us.”
You’re quiet for a moment, a longing for home that you’ve managed to ignore these past few years resurfacing. “Can we get high and go to that diner? I mean, Nell’s isn’t as good as Benny’s was, but I’ve been craving a Hawkins milkshake.”
“Christ.” Eddie hides his smile in the crook of your neck, dimples springing to life. “You could ask for the Mona Lisa and I’d find a way to get it to you. Fries and a milkshake, that all I need to keep my girl happy?”
“Yeah,” you reply, a contented noise as Eddie settles against your chest again. “That’s all I need.”
___
thank u thank u for reading if you made it this far have a little kiss from me to you <3 xx lulu
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puzzled-pegasus · 2 months
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back again with some more WoF tribe hcs
SkyWings commonly lack the ability to taste sweet things, part of the population lost the gene after the tribe became mainly carnivorous. This is inspired by real life cats, who lost the gene due to being obligate carnivores.
SandWings and MudWings commonly eat bugs. SandWings will snack on beetles when they find them, and MudWings will pick through a decomposing log like a bear to find tasty grubs. MudWings also commonly break into beehives and use their fire to smoke the bees before taking some honeycomb along with some comb that stores tasty bee larvae.
NightWings had very few bugs on the volcano for obvious reasons, besides like, some cockroaches, so it's very weird when they come into the rainforest and there's Things crawling everywhere.
RainWings and SandWings both have an innate fear of certain bugs, especially spiders. The only reason RainWings avoid eating bugs is because of the abundance of poisonous ones in the forest.
MudWings typically avoid eating alligators or crocodiles because of their similarity to dragons. Sometimes, though, they keep them as pets.
Anacondas found in the rainforest or mud kingdom will not pass up the chance to eat a dragon egg.
Some SeaWings are immune to anemone stings, like clownfish.
RainWings have to suppress their judgments about other tribes based on their coloration, reminding themselves that SkyWings aren't always angry even though they're red and orange, SeaWings aren't always sad or upset, NightWings aren't constantly seething with hatred, etc. It's hard for other tribes to really grasp the connotations that colors have for them; for RainWings, color is essentially their language. Even the color of a gift they are given can have meaning. It can result in misunderstanding with members of tribes without good color differentiation.
It's also difficult for other tribes to learn to read RainWing colors, as one color rarely ever means just one thing, and rarely is a RainWing ever just one color for long. Well, besides Jambu. But he's the weird one.
Most RainWings aren't used to being asked their favorite color. How do you answer that? Your favorite mood? Obviously, most dragons like it when they're happy. So they would usually just pick yellow or pink or light blue.
SandWings really like dark colors. You don't see a lot of those in the desert. Dark greens and purples and blues and reds. Those sort of colors are the ones that queens have their fabric dyed. Luxurious.
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sorcerous-caress · 2 days
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I'm so jealous of Daniil. Having only played the Haruspex route so far in both game, each time I'm invited to the Bachelor's place I turn green with envy at how he resides at an actual proper house with a real room and a real bed.
A real bed with a whole bedframe. A pillow with an actual pillowcase!! His bed even has sheets!
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He has WINDOWS. His house is in a nice neighbourhood, and his roommate is a very attractive woman. There is actual furniture in his room. Not one hint of fungus growing on the walls or rust!
Can you imagine living there as your lair? Spending the whole game knowing you have a real house with a real bed to go back to at the end of each night? Seeing Eva's face every day before leaving to do quests?
Meanwhile, Artemy is stuck in this dumpster room of an abandoned factory. Cuddling with rats on his makeshift bed, held by nothing but a wooden panel, some boxes and a dream.
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A pillow so yellow it has its own ecosystem where bugs established real estate. Is that even a pillow or is it some random rock Artemy found and chucked in there? Is it a stale loaf of bread?? Why is it hard looking?
But no, you don't even get to keep the rock roach pillow because in P2, they take it away.
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Fuck you Artemy, you had it good for too long. No pillow now because what are you gonna do about it?. Fold your mattress instead to have a resemblance of a faux sense of protection under your most vital organ during the long hours of death rehearsal that you call sleep.
Somehow, they made the bed even more unstable looking. As if that thin panel in the middle could hold Artemy's weight without caving in. Oh, and apparently, I ran out of boxes to use for furniture because the bed and the table have to share custody of the same box.
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We have downgraded into barrels now, as you can see :) No, I don't know what they used to contain inside.
Waking up every day to Sticky's snotty face telling me not to spit in the wind and nagging me about cleaning up the week-old human organs thrown around that are stinking up the place.
THERE IS MOLD GROWING ON MY WALLS. RUST FLAKES FALL FROM THE EXPOSED METAL PIPES DOWN INTO MY CEREAL EACH BREAKFAST.
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This single wall holds so much mold and fungus that they started crossbreeding and evolved into new, never seen before types of bacteria. Satan's asscrack is more hygienic than whatever biohazard plagues of Egypt this slab of concrete contains.
I live in the gutters. My only neighbours are an illegal gang of minors with a hatred for furries and another illegal gang but of adults this time who sell me bullets way above the market price. A dangerous neighbourhood where you can't have shit because SOMEONE STOLE MY BULL.
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The basement I reside in has no windows, the smell is pungent and fucking vile down here. There isn't even a space for a bathroom.
This is my kitchenette/bathroomette/showerette/cupboardette/surgery tools disinfection stationette/sinkette/watercoolerette/toilette/fridge.
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also my buckets yk.
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One bucket for the makeshift bathroom, another for holding important organs and loose guts during surgery, a third one as a cooking pot for making tasty meat grub soup and the final one for murky water after sweeping the floor.
What do I use to tell them apart? Oh nothing :) I just mix em up every now and then, oppsie daisy.
Oh and the floors are CONSTANTLY wet for some reason. Yeah sticky slipped and almost broke his neck the other day so watch your steps.
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There is also this eerie room with literal garbage and broken furniture right next to the entrance. Don't worry about it, sometimes I hear someone crying and screaming for help when I'm trying to go to sleep but it's just the factory being silly lol.
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Now this? This is where the M A G I C happens. This is where Artemy the Menkhu makes his famous herbal remedies and natural mixtures. This is where the Panacea for the infamous sand plague gets made!
In a rusty empty food can.
Falling into a bucket with shit stains.
MEDICINE BABBYYY. GET YOUR WEAK SOFT BONED ASS BACK TO THE CAPITAL BITCH, THIS IS HOW REAL MEN MAKE REAALLL MEDICINE!! RAWRRRRR🦅🦅💥💥
Meanwhile, dickovsky has the view of the cathedral and polyhedron just around the corner from where he resides. He has a backyard with a lake, and all I have is a swamp behind my basement. I trudge through the mud each night, collecting weeds and herbs to mix and trade so I and the two orphans who adopted themselves into my life don't go starving.
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Not to mention the gaggles of herb brides loitering outside and giving me a false bad reputation.
That dandy douchbag has a pharmacy, a grocery, and a tailor right next door. The closest establishment to my shrekcore place of resident is a dingy basement bar with shady drinks and no bouncer to check for ID, I saw two kids in there once.
Pov: a qt3.14 surgeon says his dad isn't home and invites you over.
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traincat · 1 year
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i was trying to explain to my mom how the harry potter game is antisemitic (we are not jewish) and she didnt really seem to get it. she was like "i mean if they were wearing yarmulkes i would be like yeah, the goblins are supposed to be jewish". do you know of a good source that i could send her that would break down the jewish stereotypes and how they arent just coincidence? if you dont have a good source dont worry about it but i saw you reblog stuff about it so i thought you might. thank you for your time!
I have a few resources I'm linking in my reply here, but I'm probably not going to be answering other questions about this because, to be honest, as a Jewish person in fandom, it's stressful. I'm reblogging stuff about Hogwarts Legacy because I'm Jewish and the antisemitism in the game is vile to the point where it feels irresponsible for me not to address it in some way, and because it ties into a lot of the other antisemitism I've personally faced in fandom when speaking about anything Jewish. I feel like your mother may have some trouble grasping the antisemitism because she seems to be viewing Judaism solely as a faith, when Judaism is an ethnoreligion -- a religion, an ethnic group, and wide and varied culture, and so stereotypes about Jewish people don't have to involve religious symbols and very often involve specific physical features, ie, big noses. The goblins in Harry Potter are short, ugly, and they have huge noses -- these are all features commonly associated in antisemitic caricature with Ashkenazi Jewish men. The idea that the goblins would only be valid caricatures of Jewish people if they were wearing a specific piece of clothing is troubling because it invokes the yellow stars Jews were made to wear by the Nazis. (For the record, my uncle wears a yarmulke full time, but the other men on my mother's side of the family do not. This does not make them less Jewish.)
But if your mother needs a symbol associated with the Jewish faith to help her understand, it's been noted that the game features a "goblin horn" that is very clearly a shofar, an important piece of Judaica which is used for religious purposes. (There's also a link between the date the horn is given in the game and a very brutal pogrom; more info in the twitter thread linked. If you want to get an idea of how virulent antisemitism is in fandom, the response to this thread and others like it are A Lot.) Like I can't say enough how blatant this is, and the reason it's getting by so many people are 1) a lot of non-Jewish people are at least on a base level, if not actively antisemitic themselves, basically okay with antisemitism, because antisemitism is so present in our culture and 2) uneducated on Jewish matters.
It's also important to note that in the Harry Potter world, goblins are specifically bankers. This is how they are first introduced to readers and this is their primary association in world: the goblins are literally guarding the gates on huge piles of wizard gold. This is an antisemitic stereotype, as Jews are often perceived as being money grubbing and greedy, as well as "secretly controlling" the greater world's wealth. More info in this wikipedia article: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Economic_antisemitism. This thread by Rabbi Danya Ruttenberg also breaks down the connection between the "greedy Jew" stereotype and the historical precedent for Jewish moneylenders, a profession that was foisted on them because it was distasteful to Christians: https://twitter.com/TheRaDR/status/1057333224538624001. Harry Potter is not unique in these depictions. There is an example of this in, say, Star Trek, where the Ferengi are a race of greedy, money-obsessed aliens who have exaggerated "ugly" features and who are often depicted as oversexed, especially when it comes to women of other, more classically attractive alien races (this is another antisemitic stereotype of Jewish men). But the Ferengi are also all played by Jewish actors, and in the show where they feature most, Deep Space 9, they're protagonists. So while the Ferengi are rooted in antisemitic stereotypes, the involvement of Jewish creatives and their role in the story makes it a more complicated, nuanced situation. This is not what is happening in Hogwarts Legacy.
It's not a coincidence that the goblins in Harry Potter have always been depicted as bankers right from book one. While you can theoretically separate the series from Rowling's transphobia (although, y'know, you shouldn't), the antisemitism is baked into the series. Hogwarts Legacy just takes it to a whole other incredibly overt level. The point of the game is violence against Jews, and we see that because it's revealing just how many people out there are fine with demonizing Jews specifically and the level of violence Jewish people often face in fandom when they speak out about antisemitism.
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Hi! in one of your recent asks you showed the spider tail mimic snake and mentioned there are more tail mimics, could you show us some of them? thank you! :D
Absolutely, but be warned they're not nearly as impressive! This is called caudal luring, and it's very common among vipers.
Many baby vipers will have tails that are colored bright yellow, red, orange, or green. This is to mimic caterpillars and worms and lure in amphibians, lizards, and other small prey! The coloration will fade as they age.
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Then there's Cerestes vipera. They use their tails to mimic insect larvae, and burrow down in the sand until only their tails stick out to lure lizards. Like spider-tailed horned vipers, they've made an art out of moving their tails realistically to achieve this affect.
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Saharan death adders (Acanthophis antarcticus), similarly, mimic grubs or larvae with their tails. Check out how realistically they move! Also note that this snake is keeping its lure close to its head to make it easier to catch prey lured in!
Caudal luring isn't as common among rattlesnakes (the rattle makes it difficult), but there's at least one species known to do it. Sistrurus miliarius barbouri has a small rattle, and holds it straight out to obscure its body and lure in unsuspecting grub-eating lizards.
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As babies, it's not rare for rattlesnakes to have brightly-colored tails to use as lures, but S. m. barbouri is the only one known to science that continues to use the lure into adulthood.
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undead-supernova · 2 months
Text
HIGH TOLERANCE
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Part 3 / Part 4 / Part 5
Masterlist
warnings: so much angst, a night gone wrong, more (derogatory) Steve, Gertrude (extra derogatory), Delta-9 gummies
pairings: modern!bestfriend!Eddie x bisexual!fem!reader
plot: dates aren't always what you want them to be...let alone with people who you don't really want to be on dates with
wc: 4k
song inspirations: VOID by Melanie Martinez, We Are Nobody Else by Lady Lamb
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Part 4: "Only 10mg"
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“What do you mean you haven’t seen any movies this year?”
“I mean, I’ve seen movies. I just haven’t found anything I thought was interesting in the last eight months.”
“What do you watch then?”
This morning you actually found someone on Hinge named Gertrude and by the afternoon you were on a lunch date. And you’d thought they were cute when you met up at Grub Burger, like really cute, with thin-rimmed rectangular glasses and a long dark braid down their back. They had a soft voice and an even softer smile…but it was quickly starting to go downhill.
Every question they threw at you felt like an investigation where you were wrong every single time, as if your preferences weren’t good enough. Even the lack of movies you’d seen.
In your defense, you usually went to the movie theater if Eddie asked. He was really good at guessing when a movie’s going to be worthwhile (and you weren’t). He never once disappointed. He’d also never taken you to a movie without at least giving you something of the cannabis persuasion and buying a large popcorn for you to share. 
Sometimes he even bought your ticket.
Which you always pretended were dates like the desperate woman you were.
“Yeah, I really like 2000s movies,” you replied, shrugging. “I’ll pop on a Seth Rogan film every once and a while. Like, I know they’re a little outdated or whatever, but they’re fun. Oh, especially if you smoke some weed. Then it’s super funny. Like, This Is The End? It’s just cool to see all these actors—"
“I mean, they’re, like, super problematic,” Gertrude interrupted.
You nodded. “No, I know,” you agreed, scratching at your neck. “I know. It’s not the best, but like, I recognize that. I don’t think it’s all funny. And it’s not just Seth Rogan, there are other genres like dramas and fantasy and horror. Have you heard of the movie The Invisible? It’s about this guy who dies and is a ghost and can’t talk to anyone and finds out he—”
“I just thought because you’re queer, you’d have better standards for the media you consume.”
Pausing, you felt yourself deflate. You shrugged again, wondering how this conversation was turning into something else entirely. “I mean, I think you could argue that every piece of media is problematic, depending on the way you look at it. If you acknowledge that the media you like is flawed, you’re still allowed to enjoy it. It’s not that hard.”
Gertrude gave you that judgmental look again, pushing their fork around their French fries. “Agree to disagree. Anyways, maybe you should ask me a question now.”
As if I had had any chance to ask anything since we sat down.
“Uh, okay. What’s your favorite color?”
Gertrude finally smiled for the first time since you’d greeted each other. They really were pretty. There was just something so grating about their attitude…
“I think I like a soft yellow, something bright and cheery.”
You nodded, trying to seem more interested than you were. Some part of you even felt like laughing. “Yeah, yellow’s a good color. Very vibrant. Makes you happy.”
“What about you?”
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“I don’t know. Maybe black? Red?”
Steve sighed, scratching his bare thigh before going back to his cherry and goat cheese ice cream. Eddie merely stared down at his cream puff flavor, unsure as to why he thought this date would be a good idea. He’d suggested they go out to get ice cream (definitely not to distract himself from what was probably happening across town with someone who he definitely wasn’t thinking about). 
But Steve didn’t remotely hesitate, making Eddie think that maybe that was a sign. He was in it now. They were getting somewhere…
If only it hadn’t started going downhill just from asking basic questions that they somehow hadn’t thought of in the last however many years of knowing each other.
“Ah, come on, Eddie. You can’t say red!”
Eddie’s eyebrows furrowed, trying not to get irritated. “Why not?” he asked. “It’s a color. That was part of the assignment.”
“I just feel like it’s a little stereotypical for you.”
“Why, ‘cause I like metal?” Eddie guessed with a sigh sitting in the back of his throat. He was careful not to release it.
“Uh, yeah,” Steve replied. Like it was obvious. Like it was stupid. “Precisely.”
“Okay, then what’s yours, big guy?”
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“Probably red or green,” you answered. “Not a soft green. More like a deep emerald?”
“Like Christmas?”
You shook your head. To give them credit, it was a common question you got whenever anyone cared enough to ask.
Well, except for one person...
“Well, no. I wouldn’t consider myself someone who likes Christmas all that much.”
“Let me guess, your favorite holiday is something weird, like St. Patrick’s Day.”
What the hell was this person even talking about? Were they hearing themselves talk?
You successfully suppressed your sigh before you decided to answer honestly. “Uh, my favorite holiday is Halloween.”
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“Next you’re gonna tell me your favorite holiday is Halloween.”
Eddie raised an eyebrow. “Uh, because it is.” What was Steve even talking about? Why was he suddenly being so fucking judgmental? “Let me guess, your favorite is Christmas,” he bit back.
Steve laughed, oblivious to Eddie’s venom. “Yeah, the lights are cool. The hot chocolate with the peppermint in it. Oh, and the snow. You can layer everything. I mean, it’s cute. Plus,” he stopped, clearly trying to make his next sentence sound less rude. “I just think Halloween is a little…meh.”
“Meh?”
Steve shrugged. “Yeah.”
“What beef do you have with Halloween?”
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“It’s just a little overdone, don’t you think?”
You shook your head, appalled as to why they didn’t get how important the holiday was. 
“No, I think it’s about expressing yourself and becoming something more than what you are. It gives kids a moment of exploration of themselves and creativity. Not to mention its importance for queer people and how they can have one night where they can be themselves—"
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“—without the scrutiny of the public. We could walk out in drag or anything feminine whatsoever and it’s not considered threatening, even if that’s shitty in and of itself. But it’s still that opportunity.” Eddie smiled to himself. “That chance. It’s bringing a sense of fucking safety that’s otherwise missing.”
Steve nodded before he shrugged, scraping at the bottom of his cup. “Yeah, you make a good point. I guess I haven’t really thought about it like that.”
Eddie forgot that he and Steve never really had conversations like these. It was usually you who he could talk to for hours on end, deconstructing what it meant to live and how everything was about perspective. Inebriated, sober—it didn’t matter. Like those days at the aquarium, you were able to see the bigger picture at the end of the day. You talked about stuff like this without even having to be asked.
That ticket still sat in his wallet. He always took it out whenever he needed a pick-me-up. It gave him a spark of hope that life could change for the better if someone like you existed.
Steve kept talking, but Eddie was pulling out his wallet and running his fingers over the ticket like it would bring you here and he could have you here instead. 
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As you and Gertrude fell into silence, you put your hand in your skirt pocket, feeling the smoothness of Eddie’s yellow pick. Tracing the edges, you wondered what it felt like for him to run it down his strings. How it fit in his fingers. 
How he was doing.
Where he was.
If he was available.
You looked at Gertrude, watching them scroll through their TikTok feed, volume up, before you stood and grabbed your purse.
“I have to go.”
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Eddie watched Steve reach the very bottom of his cup, hoping there was a way for him to slip in a reason to leave. Because, holy shit, this was a piss poor excuse for a date.
He looked back over at the long line forming at the door, knowing you would die to have a cup of the wildberry lavender flavor. You were a big fan of Jeni’s Ice Cream and always gave him grief whenever he went without you. It was kind of funny how your face would screw up as you yelled at him for being a traitor. He nearly chuckled at the memory. 
And it suddenly hit him that he was way more concerned with his thoughts of you.
How your date was going.
Where you were.
If you were available.
Fuck having a good enough reason to leave.
“Can we go?”
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You basically sprinted to your car, barely registering how rude you had just been. You didn’t say goodbye, didn’t even give them an excuse. But you argued to, well, yourself that telling them some shitty excuse would be ruder than not saying anything at all. 
All you wanted was to talk to Eddie and tell him about how awful your date was. How mean Gertrude was and how confused you were about what the hell you’d done to deserve their scrutiny.
Sighing, you scrambled into the front seat and tossed your phone onto the passenger seat.  Pulling out Eddie’s guitar pick, you tried to calm yourself down. You studied the brand, the tiny tortoise outline with the shell replaced with the Tortex brand name. It read that it was a Dunlop, 50mm. Smooth. Thin. The kind Eddie always said he preferred, always said it hit the strings so magically. Said it rang out the bottom E string, like it was trying to reach the heavens and got there every time. 
And there was your eyeliner, ruining it.
You shook your head, resigning to the fact that you probably should just go home and isolate yourself for a while. Try and figure out how the hell you were supposed to be normal around Eddie and Steve the next time you saw them together.
Is that how it’s going to be now? you wondered, feeling nausea pool in your stomach. Are they going to be a package deal? Is that something I could survive?
For how long?
Before you could even start your car, your phone started going off. As soon as you saw Eddie’s picture pop up, you let out a sigh of relief.
“Hey,” he breathed, sounding as exhausted as you felt.
“Hey, hello,” you replied, trying to calm yourself down. “Hi. I was actually about to call you.”
“Oh, yeah?”
“Yeah. I just had the worst date ever,” you grumbled, trying to rub the eyeliner off the pick.
“Me, too.”
You sat up straighter, shoving the pick back in your pocket. “Really?”
“God, yeah. I’m never going to Jeni’s without you again.”
“You went to Jeni’s without me?” With Steve, you felt like adding. 
But you were going to be good. Just this once.
“Yeah, yeah, I know. Like I said, I’m never going without you ever again.” You let out an irritated huff. “Listen, Weirdo, would you mind if I came over and we took some edibles and, like, watched a movie?”
Thank God.    
“Yes, please.”
“See you in twenty?”
You smiled. “See you in twenty. Traitor.”
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Eddie had gotten back to your apartment at the same time as you, both fighting for the closest parking spot with playful honks. You may have almost hit his van. And he could (maybe) admit that he almost deserved it.
“That’s rude,” he said as he hopped down from the van. “That’s just—”
He stopped as he finally got a look at you. Because it wasn’t even fair anymore, the way you just being you flustered him. Just standing next to your car with a simple Joan Jett t-shirt tucked into a short skirt and black Converse. Some sword earrings. And fishnets. Fucking fishnets.
Did he mention that you were wearing a different pair than the night before?
How many do you fucking own?
“That’s just what?” you asked, looking confused.
Eddie had to get a grip. He couldn’t keep doing this, couldn’t keep losing his focus whenever you were around. Hell, he was already losing his focus when you weren’t. When you were looking like this, it made everything worse. Much, much worse. 
He shook his head before poking your shoulder. “Extremely rude.”
You rolled your eyes and swatted his hand away, starting the short walk up to your apartment. “Hey, you asked me to hang and then you tried to steal my favorite parking spot? Where are your manners?”
“I think we both know I lost those years ago.”
“Okay, weirdo,” you said.
“Uh, what did you just call me?” Eddie asked playfully, clasping his hand over his chest. 
A giggle escaped your lips as you ascended the stairs, making his smile widen.
“You heard me!” you exclaimed as you quickened your pace up the steps. “And I will not be taking it back!”
The two of you bickered like always, going back and forth with seemingly no end to each bit that you started and never truly seemed to finish. Sometimes it felt like he couldn’t help himself around you, always excited to hear what you had to say or what you wanted to do. Anything you wanted, because any opportunity to be around you was an opportunity worth taking.
You decided to heat up leftover soup for you both, maneuvering around the kitchen while you complained about the weather and your upstairs neighbor who was taking all the warm water these days despite the scorching heat.
Eddie wouldn’t admit it, but he was having a hard time paying attention to your words. How could he when your hands were waving around the air and putting your hair up? How in the hell was he supposed to pay attention when you decided to run chapstick over your lips? Or when you bent down to take your shoes off, skirt riding up just enough to reveal the lining of red underwear? And how was he supposed to feel normal when you were wearing the cutest fucking socks, with black cats sporting witch hats next to a brewing cauldron? 
“I’m gonna go pick out a movie,” Eddie said suddenly, backing away from the kitchen.
“Oh, yeah,” you said absentmindedly as you fiddled with the microwave. “That’s a really good idea. What’re you gonna put on?”
“No idea,” he lied. “Absolutely no idea.”
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After you finished the chickpea and sausage soup, you and Eddie popped 10mg Delta-9 gummies and decided to chill on the couch. As soon as Eddie pressed play on your remote, you immediately knew it was the opening to When Harry Met Sally. Like always. 
But it wasn’t like you were paying attention. If anything, you were talking over it like you were in a crowded room. Small talk here and there until you were unable to keep your questions to yourself.
“So, you said your date with Steve didn’t go well,” you said. “Do you want to maybe talk about it?”
Eddie groaned, throwing his hands over his face. You may have taken the opportunity to stare at him, how his tattoos were visible. He’d shown up in his jean jacket but discarded it as if he was taunting you with only a black tank top and jeans. His guitar pick necklace around his neck. Rings. Threaded bracelets and watch. That fucking nail polish…
Focus, you told yourself. Just focus.
“I don’t know…” he trailed, biting his lip.
“I’ll share mine if you share yours,” you suggested.
A sigh left his lips before he gave in. “He thought it was predictable that I liked black and Halloween.”
“Has he even met you?” you asked, scoffing. “Of course you do. That’s, like, your whole thing. It’s not predictable, it’s just who you are.”
“I know! It was so weird. We’ve known each other since high school. I don’t know how he didn’t know that already. Rob knows more than him, apparently.”
“She’s extremely observant,” you noted.
Too observant.
“That’s a good...observation.” Now it was your turn to groan, making Eddie laugh before he added, “Now’s your turn, Weirdo.”
Well, I couldn’t stop thinking about you the entire time. So what does that say about me?
“I got absolutely slammed for my shitty 2000s comedies.”
“But Michael Cera is a visionary…” he trailed, confused.
“Well, apparently they’re all problematic and I’m damaging our community.”
Eddie shook his head, rolling his eyes. “Whatever. So is everything else. Besides, you don’t even laugh at the bad stuff. It’s like eating around a bad food you like. It’s not like the whole plate is bad, right? Most of it’s good.”
“That’s what I’m saying!” you exclaimed, throwing your hand up. “It’s like eating at Waffle House. You know it’s not going to be the best meal you’ve ever had, but damn if those waffles don’t hit the spot every time. Especially when you’re fucked up.”
“You get it! You may be the smartest person I’ve met.”
“Or maybe the dumbest.”
“Nah, you’re pretty intelligent…when you want to be.”
“Ouch!” you said, grabbing one of your throw pillows and whacking him with it. “Take that.”
Before you could take another shot, he took the pillow from you and hit you back. “You deserved that one, Weirdo.”
You fell into gentle laughter, shaking your head at him before you sighed and leaned your head on the back cushion. Eddie readjusted, also leaning his head back so he could make eye contact with you. He wrapped his arms around the pillow, hugging it to his chest.
For a moment, you just kind of sat there and looked at him. Watched his eyes flicker back and forth between yours while you did the same. Studied the brown, the way his pupils dilated as you kept staring at each other. You couldn’t say how long that lasted before you finally said something.
“I just don’t think it’s supposed to be this hard.”
 “What, dating?” he asked, tightening his grasp on the pillow.
“Yeah.”
He nodded, letting out a hum. “I don’t think so, either.”
You looked away from Eddie’s gaze to find him fiddling with the pillow’s black fringe, clearly anxious about something. It was exactly how he played with his lighter or tapped his leg. Rapid, incessant. Finding his bearings through the texture as if it could keep his attention longer than a few seconds.
And then he said your name, bringing your eyes back to his.
“Should I keep seeing Steve?” he asked.
This time you were the one readjusting, feeling yourself scoot even closer to him. Your legs were touching, the blanket seeming to slip halfway off you two. But neither of you moved to fix it. 
“Does Steve make you happy?”
“I…I don’t know.” He let out a staggered breath. “I think so.”
And you tried not to, but your leg was slipping further down his calf. Blanket be damned—you were already starting to burn.
“Tell me something. Why do you always put When Harry Met Sally on?” you asked, trying to steer away from the subject of Steve Harrington. Trying to distract yourself from the heat building inside you. Trying to distract yourself from thinking something stupid. “I thought the second Lord of the Rings movie was your favorite. The Two Towers.”
He shrugged. “No, yeah. The Two Towers is my favorite. I just think I’ve just always related to When Harry Met Sally. Always missing my chances, opportunities. Always just one step away from getting what I want.”
Was Eddie getting…closer?
You raised an eyebrow. “Missing your chances?”
And why was he staring at your mouth?
“Yeah.”
But weren’t you also staring at his?
“Are you, um, Harry?” you asked, trying to keep yourself from doing something stupid. “Or are you Sally?”
Why was he so close to making you do something stupid?
“Depends on the day,” he said, softer this time.
And why was he leaning closer, searching your eyes for some kind of confirmation that this was okay?
And why were you about to let him?
“What do you want?” you asked, barely above a whisper.
Eddie didn’t answer, the hum of Meg Ryan and Billy Crystal being the only sound left in the room other than your shared breathing. 
“What has she done? She makes desserts.”
It was growing heavier the closer he got to you, maybe the closest you’d ever been since you met. And it was so strange, the way he affected you.
“You all went to a Met game together?”
Your fingers reached out, searching for his. Found it on his thigh, also reaching for yours. Fingers touching, itching to twine. And it was so strange, the way he moved you.
“But Sally hates baseball.”
And there Eddie was, leaning in more and more, his breath seeming to intoxicate you the more it fanned over your face.
“Harry doesn’t even like sweets.”
But it was dangerous, the way he could break you.
His lips just barely brushed yours before you pulled back.
“No,” you said.
“What?” Eddie asked, leaning back. “Are you okay?”
All you could think about was Steve. Eddie literally just told you he was happy with Steve and then he was going to, what, kiss you? What business did he have doing that? And what business did you have being a homewrecker?
“I think you should go,” you said sternly, throwing the blanket off and standing.
Eddie looked up at you like he was confused. As if he wasn’t just trying to do something incredibly stupid.
“What? Really?”
You walked over to the opposite end of the living room, desperate to stay the hell away from him. Because there was some part of you that was wondering how stupid kissing him would really be. But maybe if you stayed as far away from him as possible, you wouldn’t be tempted. You couldn’t be. 
“Yep.”
Eddie shook his head, standing. “What just happened here?” he asked. “Like, seriously.”
You shook your head. “I just want you to go, Eddie. Okay?”
“No, not okay. Jesus H Christ,” he huffed, throwing the pillow on the couch. “You can’t just kick me out and not even tell me what I’m doing wrong.”
“You should figure that one out for yourself. You’re probably too high anyway,” you said, maybe a little too bitterly.
“It was only ten milligrams,” he emphasized. “And maybe, just maybe, I need to be given some clear fucking communication.”
“You’ll figure it out.” 
He gave you a hard stare. “Really? Is this really what you’re doing right now?”
“What?” you pushed. “What am I doing?”
Say it, you thought. Eddie, please just say it.
“Maybe you should figure that one out for yourself,” he mocked.
And before you could figure out how to respond, Eddie turned away from you. He stomped over to the kitchen counter, grabbing his keys and wallet before walking towards the door.
“For the record,” he said, turning back to look at you in the eye. “I’m completely sober. You of all people should know I have a high tolerance.”
Eddie opened the door and slammed it right behind him.
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Eddie couldn’t stop his thoughts firing at a rapid pace as he nearly sprinted to the van. He was going to pass out, he was so sure of it this time. Hell, he was dying. He had to be dying. There was no way he was going to survive this.
The kiss. The fucking kiss. He was going to kiss you. He was actually going to do it.
Eddie’s fingers trembled as he tried to unlock the driver’s side. But the keys slipped from his fingers, clanging onto the asphalt. 
“Fuck,” he whispered, barely able to fight against whatever was grabbing hold of his throat and tightening its grasp. Shaking his head, he leaned his back against the driver’s side door. “Shit.”
Eddie clutched his chest for real this time, feeling his heart race. The panic was flooding his system, tears pricking at his eyes as he tried to focus on the breeze. The white noise of it moving through the trees. The stupid fucking squirrel nearly getting run over as someone barreled through the speed bumps. Your fucking Halloween socks.
This was going wrong. All of it. Every single last scrap of dignity he had was gone. He blew it. He fucking blew it.
If he was stronger, he would turn back around and bang on your door. Demand that you talk about this and tell you how your shared avoidance was going to be the death of any and all chance at a relationship. Kiss you the way he knew he could, knew he would. 
Because there was no way, no way, that nothing was happening between you two. 
He knew it. You knew it.
If only he was strong enough.
And it was occurring to him that he didn’t feel this way about Steve. If anything, he could never feel this way about him. And, frankly, he was starting to truly understand that it had nothing to do with Steve. It was everyone. He would never be able to feel this way about anyone else.
This time, Eddie couldn’t shake that off.
This time, Eddie knew that something had to change.
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You couldn’t help but hope he’d turn back. That he’d walk right back in and kiss you the way you knew he could, knew he would if he wanted you like that. And maybe he did want to kiss you, you couldn’t say. But why would he continue to see Steve, bringing him up in nearly every conversation if he wanted you? What would be the point of that?
You were more confused than ever, finding yourself haunted by the scene playing on the TV behind you.
“What’s the matter with me?” Sally exclaimed.
“Nothing,” Harry said softly.
“I’m difficult!”
“You’re challenging,” he countered.
You fell back on the couch, sobbing as you listened to Harry and Sally go back and forth, nearly taunting you with how fucking accurate it was. How fucking accurate everything around you was, from music to movies and back again. 
“No, no, no! I drove him away!”
This was your fault, and now you had to live with those pesky little consequences you hadn’t thought of. You drove Eddie away and now you had no idea how much longer you had before he would fade into a stranger, a fever dream of what once was. And a reminder of what could’ve been.
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Taglist: @mrsjellymunson
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atwas-meme-ing · 7 months
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HEY ALL!!! If you haven't heard, Unity is gonna start charging devs 20 cents per download. Not per sale, but PER DOWNLOAD. This applies to not only big-name games like Hollow Knight and Ori, but also smaller projects that might be free. This includes mobile games made with Unity, Undertale fan games like Undertale Yellow and Deltatraveler, and also, get this: Murder of Sonic! It was made in Unity, and so far, it's still free, but Sega's gonna hafta start charging for it sooner or later- IF they don't decide to take it down completely.
So, on this note, I have 2 things to say:
Get your favorite games NOW. Some devs, like Team Cherry, are talking about "taking their games down" (so much for Silksong- thanks A LOT, Unity!!!). I don't know if that means you'll still be able to play these games- like on Steam, for instance- if you already have them downloaded.
Please, please, PLEASE, support those games that are made with Unity. 20 cents adds up when there's a million downloads, and if it's like a mobile game, where people don't necessarily have to pay for it, that's going to COST the devs money- a LOT of money. I know we all hate the paywalls and "pay-to-win" schemes in mobile games, but let's be real- crap like this Unity thing are the whole reason those paywalls exist! These devs aren't doing this for free, they're trying to make a living! Even if you only spend $1, only 1 time, that is STILL going to be an 80 cent profit over the new Unity costs, and maybe, just maybe, give some game devs enough incentive to keep the game around.
I know Unity has a bad rep because it's easy to use and allows devs to release games that control poorly because you don't have to be good at coding to do it (*cough* Guardian of Lore *cough*). That's why I haven't used Unity, despite having several game ideas in my head, because I don't know how to code (yet), and I didn't want to release a game like that- and now I never will use Unity. But games like all the ones I've mentioned are proof that Unity CAN be used for good games, in the right hands. So please, if you love a game made with Unity, please support it, so the game doesn't go away. Don't send the devs into bankruptcy just because Unity is a money-grubbing so-and-so.
(Oh, I should also mention, for browser-based games, apparently this "per download" thing also includes "per BROWSER REFRESH". So, yeah, please don't blame the devs, support the devs and blame Unity.)
EDIT: It's not quite as bad as I'd thought. I knew Unity had a threshold, but I thought it was an either/or thing- either a certain number of downloads, or a certain amount of money made from a game. And, it's not, it's both.
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So free games (like Murder of Sonic) apparently won't be affected.
Here's their pricing schedule once the threshold is met:
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It still adds up for the smaller projects, with Unity taking all or most of the revenue from smaller games.
And one thing that's still bothering me: the install threshold is "life to date" and Unity is charging per install over the threshold. So, if a game's been around for years and had a million downloads and has made 200,000 dollars in the last year, they're gonna end up paying that 200,000 all at once.
At least, that's what I'm reading.
So, ok, I was wrong. Free projects won't be affected. But this is still awful, especially when it's first starting out.
EDIT 2 (2023-09-23): They've lessened the fees:
youtube
I'm still not using them. They never had a good reputation- I mean, there's good Unity games, but there's also a lot of bad ones because people can just release games with Unity with no coding experience. I want to make games someday, but I want them to be a good quality, so I'm waiting until I can actually figure out C++ (heck, I'm still wading through HTML, I'm nowhere near real programming languages). As long as I have to learn coding to make something good, I might as well find an engine that I can trust. I hear a lot about Godot. I also think I'll want to look at Monogame, because Monogame was used to make Axiom Verge and Celeste, and it's apparently based on the defunct XNA that was used to make Stardew Valley. Or I'll find something else. But not Unity. I just don't trust them.
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meowsgirldrawing · 1 year
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Pact Marks- Obey Me Thoughts/Headcannons
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So in one of my recent posts, I showed where I imagine My MC- or Mackenzie's pacts marks are.
For those who are new or just unfamiliar with this topic somehow, Pact marks are what the fandom of Obey Me! Shall We Date?! has basically agreed all on being on each MC when they/he/she makes a pact with one of the demons. I dunno if the creators confirmed that as I am only in lesson 13-14 in the game itself.
Here are my headcannons/thoughts to just have on here✨
Lucifer
(Spoiler, hes the last one to get a pact mark from but not in the least undermining)
Where I imagine his pact mark would be on MC's chest.
Kinda like the phrase, 'Huffing up chest in pride', it shows his shamless pride in allowing the human to make a pact with him.
Considering how possessive Lucifer tends to be towards MC, in a "This is my human" way, his mark is the biggest, maybe even boldest as its even able to peak over MC's collar bones, making any non-turtle neck like shirt unable to cover it all.
It glows his signiture blue when activated, bright and unable to be unnoticed either.
And in the dark, a lingering lighter shade trails around the stars, giving a nice ring to the MorningStar name
With my MC, I imagine they aren't afraid to show it, most of their outfits being tank tops, low collar shirts, or even just a sports bra on some nights.
Lucifer sometimes catches MC trailing their finger along its edges, only to shirk their hand down as soon as he notices.
Of course...he smirks, raising a curious brow.
MC just ignores his glances and moves on.
Mammon
He was a an easy one, Ngl.
Look, I adore This little Greed demon with all my heart but he does tend to steal, and gamble, and basically do any money grubbing.
All with swift and talentful hands in his own craft.
His pact mark is on the hand, preferably dominant hand of MC.
Its not too big or too small, just fitting across the back of MC's hand.
When activated, it gives of a nice yellow hue, gold lining the mark's edges in a shifting manner.
My MC tried drawing weird symbols on top of it, human symbols that kids draw on their skin everyday y'know, just to see if anything changed.
It didn't. Just erased whatever they did and glowed like normal.
Mammon called her weird then proceeded to try his turn at it.
Now they needed new pens.
Mammon hated the mark at first, finding it stupid given how it even came to be in the first place.
Now he traces it every night with a curled up MC beside him, clutching onto him as if he isnt holding them tight enough.
Leviathan
He is tricky tricky boy, lemme tell ya.
Either his pact mark worked in spots his brothers' worked better in or it just didnt seem like Levi's spot.
So I figured, under bicep.
The guy is shy, right? So I believe his would ultimately end up somewhere where it's covered the majority of the time, that or just hard to see at most angles.
I did think of thigh, but i suppose the thought it ending up there would have this okaku blushing for days on end.
Which bicep also depends on which arm is MC's dominant one.
My MC, like all her other marks, is proud to have them, so they dont get why it was somewhere mostly hidden.
Hence why it gives them further reason to show it off during their shared movie nights, wearing more sleeveless shirts or tops.
Leviathan is her Lord of Shadows just as much as they are his Henry and they are proud to say it. (Enough without embarrassing the Envy demon of course)
Leviathan turned as flustered as a peach at first anytime he saw it fully, but now...
Now he laughs as MC 'proves' their muscles to him after an off comment he made, flexing off that mark of Envy without even realizing. He just snorts and shoves them lightly, a domino effect taking hold as they do it right back.
Beelzebub
Did I even need to think on this guy?
The tongue is wear his mark resides.
Not only for the obvious, Ahem Gluttony, but because the tongue is known to be the strongest muscle in the body.
It tends to blend in with the color of their tongue but mostly when its activated.
Oo, imagine MC eating a cherry flavored treat, the glow would just light the whole thing up. Light bulp idea if MC is ever in the dark and lost.
Ahem, anyway, as mentioned, it glows a fiery red, making MC's mouth looking like light up city when even just a little bit opened.
My MC had at one point thought her mouth was bleeding when she saw in it the mirror, had to have Beel explain they were indeed fine, if anything, looked cool.
Both her and Beel test out how bright it can get depeding on cherry flavored treats when gorging in food one night.
Beel cant help but blush at the sight of his unactivated mark as MC sucks their tongue out at him, having just won a victorious round. A game Levi lended them for a bit.
He hms, pats their head lightly, and mutters 'cute'. MC is left confused, their tongue still poking out in a blep.
Asmodeus
So...HAHA- So many people thought my MC's mark from Asmo was on their bottom.
While I would not be surprised, given this man, I headcannon their mark being a tramp stamp.
Right above their bottom.
Its not big, barely taking all over their lower back. But enough to give off a big enough glow when activated.
When activated, the pact will glow a saturated pink, a tease of purple easing into the 'ink.'
Ngl, I got this idea after reading another headcannon list of Obey Me Pact Marks and thought it was too good to not keep.
Its somewhat easy to hide, depending on the type of clothing MC wears, but it quickly becomes hard to cover ehen activated, the pink being too bright.
Asmo calls them his little firefly at some point
As for my MC, she gets flustered, never thinking a pact mark would be that low. But after catching a wink from Asmo, they turn gears and smirk instead, thankful for their wild and long hair hiding the pink in their ears as they clap back quick with some remark.
Asmo just chuckles at whatever she said.
Teasing hands, always playful but never pushing, linger down at the edge of MC's shirt only for it to turn into a tickle over his mark. MC squeaks out, laughter pulling over as they skirt away, clutching their lower back.
Asmo takes their playing shoves with a smug grin, gleaming with absolute delight as he catches one at last, landing a sweet kiss at their knuckles.
Satan
Similar to Lucifer
Satan would hate me I know it
But yes, dreadfully similar to Lucifer, Satan's mark is big and bold, appearing right under where Lucifer's(At the time he never knew that of course).
It lays across the lower ribs, that tip of it? Its lined up to go straight in between both, mark and center.
It is easy to hide, but if MC is one to wear short crop tops, or anyhting that shows close to the lower ribs as mentioned, it wouldnt be hard to miss.
Yet, the mark is impossible to miss when activated, unless you stacked like piles and piles on MC's torso, yeah..that green glow would be seen a mile away.
Its a bright, fiery green, almost oozing into their clothes like Wrath itself would.
Why is it on the ribs? Well, you know that feeling you get when you are angry. That fire in the pit of your chest? The only reason its on the ribs instead is because of how calculating Satan is.
"Imagine how an aggressor would feel if they suddenly saw its glow? They would've turned to rigor themselves without my help"
Are you sure you aint like Lucifer-
My MC played a game of, 'What Can Hide The Mark??' With their closet one day, just curiosity at best.
Yeah, they thought better of it when Satan came a-knocking very confused and very weirded out by the dark light green light game on his side.
Theres a weird, fizzy feeling Satan gets anytime he saw the mark in a more direct manner. Their shirt riding up as they slanted on the couch, at the beach, anywhere were he got less of a tease of it and more of a frontal view.
It wasnt made out of hate for his brother, it wasnt even a half-assed one either, it actually meant something, to both him and MC.
Hmm....Satan's eyes fliker back down, escaping MC's sudden gaze, a little heat on his cheeks going ignored in favor for catching up with this novel's protagonist.
Belphegor
So......I may or may not have accidentally put Belphie's mark on Mc's neck.....
Chapter 16 anyone?
BUT- BUT Then it gave me an idea!
So while we arent exactly sure the marks would be chosen by the brother's preference, or MC's preference, I think its just up to what the fans think-
What if it was kinda an accident itself?
Like obviously, at the time of the pact between the youngest brother and Mc was made, the events of Mc/not Mc's death was still fresh to everyone. Hence the whole, making a pact to protect Mc from Belphie.
And since it was still in everyones minds for a while, the mark accidentally formed in the one place everyone, including MC had a hard time looking at without getting chills.
It could be many possibilities from this, but it also can give MC enough motivation to work it out with Belphie, wanting to make the mark not one to look at in digust but instead at least a gentle fondness like the others. Obviously the last part might take a long while to come, but they would at least be able to ease the pain of it.
Anyhow- the mark is pretty dang small compared to the others. Small and barely noticable depending on how MC's hair style is.
When activated, it glows a nice lilac hue, the edges dipped in a very light, almost white color. It can almost be mistaken for a night light, like those ones for children, if it wasn't on MC's body.
If covered with a turtle neck for instance, its dimmed but not completely, still vying for attention.
I do believe MC would have at least some sort of trauma towards it, like cant have people touching around their neck for awhile. Even if Lucifer were to cup their chin, their nerves start a-ringing.
I like to imagine my MC doesn't necessarily get over it, but is able to move past it. Shes one to not let things affect them, but obviously with seeing yourself and feeling youself die is extremely hard to do for a human, so its more or less them just wanting to stop feeling so weak at the idea. So she asks Lucifer or Satan (the two most likely to understand it) in private to help her by gently edging their hands around her neck area sometimes so she can at the very least, emotionally move past it.
Exposure therapy( But this is for my MC, I definitely believe people have a right to decide how they/their characters wpuod respond to the whole thing as everyone seems to either forgive Belphie, take a long time to do so, or just want their character to avoid him)
It takes him a loose second to realize, but when he does, Belphie is quick to snatch away his hand from MC's upper torso. Hes hesitant to even toss it back around their waist. But MC, despite their sleepy and craving for warmth state, takes note of his sudden distance and tightens their grip around his shoulders, effectively dragging him snug against their body.
They murmer reassurances before he can even breathe a single word, and hes burrying his face in their shoulder, the one beside his own mark. Tears sting his closed gaze and their wading soft fingers their his hair. A kiss to the side of his head is all he needs and he wrapps his arms back around, agreeing like aways.
Gentle forgiven but never forgotten...
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void-ink-studios · 5 months
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A Brain Dump About Scarab's Species
I have lots of little thoughts about Scarab's species and planet as a whole. Some parts are well established in the fic, and others might not make it into fics at all, so I'm gonna dump them here. If you like worldbuilding, enjoy!
Scarab's species has no concept of gender. I mentioned this in the last chapter's (Oh Glob, He's Been Kidnapped) notes, but I'll go into more detail here. His species does not have sexual dimorphism, anyone can find a mate in anyone else. Scarab uses he/him pronouns kind of by accident. He said one word, everyone heard his voice, and basically assigned him masculine pronouns. Scarab didn't really care or understand why it was important, so he just shrugged and accepted it. He doesn't have some internal sense of "I am a man", his gender is "I don't know, I just work here."
Their life cycle goes as follows: They hatch from an egg as a grub in a sealed burrow. The burrow is packed with food, water, and bedding for warmth. If all goes well, the grub get's as big as about half the size of an adult. They pupate and emerge as nymphs. The nymphs tear down the seal to their brood burrow, and they emerge. Over the course of several years, they learn trades, grow, and mature into adults. Nymphs have pale colors, brittle shells, and weak wings when they first emerge, but the colors deepen, grow stronger, and become confident flyers as they mature. Scarab was barely considered an adult when he first saw the threat coming toward his planet.
Scarab's species doesn't really do blood family. This was mentioned in the third chapter (Memories of the Homeland), but I'd like to expand on it. A mated pair might make 5-10 eggs, but it's likely one 3 or 4 will survive long enough to pupate and emerge. So, parents don't really get attached to any one individual egg or the child that comes from it. Siblings might be on separate sides of the mounds depending on the parent's luck in finding brood spaces, so they're not likely to meet until adulthood. That's not to say some individuals don't seek out and bond with blood family, but they don't really have a family unit outside of the mated pair. They don't do last names or family trees. They're much more attached to the family they make, the friends they find along the way, rather than the family that shares DNA with them.
They pick their own names when they join society, rather than be given one by parents. Scarab picked his own name, and he wears it proudly. If two of them with similar or even same names come into close contact, they tend to add a notable feature to their name, almost like a title or epithet. Scarab, for example, would be known as Red Scarab (It's pretty notable/unusual to have a shell of only one color, Scarab's siblings have green and yellow to break up the red) if he found someone else named Scarab.
They don't kiss to show affection. Their affection is shown by nuzzling and antenna. You might note that Scarab nuzzled Prismo a lot, but that's his people's way of kissing or smooching. It's a scent thing. He's basically putting his scent all over Prismo, kind of like how cats rub their cheeks on stuff. Nuzzling puts their scent onto the object of their affection, and the antenna lets them smell it. To greet a friend or tell a friend you love and care for them, you tap foreheads together and brush antennas together briefly. Mates will hold that form for longer, rubbing and nuzzling foreheads rather than just tapping them, and the antenna might take some more time to examine it. The dominant scent on that spot, other than their own, is agreed to be the person they love most.
Touch in general is pretty important to them. Friends hug and hold hands. Roughhousing, specifically wrestling, is an important part of their childhoods after they emerge. Touches to the face are comforting and reassuring.
Wings are private and sacred. Period. You do not touch someone's wings without permission. They're very sensitive and important for daily life, so it's a massive sign of trust to let one touch them. It's why their respectful greeting is to show their wings. It basically says, "I trust you." Grooming their wings and the shell around them is a private ritual, only really shared with mates. It'd be considered an omen (either good or bad) if you could find a recognizable or specific shape in the veining. Decorating them is a sign of extravagance and beauty, and is usually reserved for the elites (the "top of the mound" as it were) or during important parties/gatherings. Which, yes, means this adds a whole heaping extra traumatic layer of violation to what Orbo did to Scarab.
Mounds kind of act as countries to them. When Scarab calls something a "Mound" it doesn't mean it's literally a pile of dirt. Although, it can be. A mound can be a chunk of forest, or a stretch of grasslands, or even cliff faces and sand dunes if you're hardy enough. Mounds are ruled over by older "elites" and are mostly cooperative. Mounds are a community, and they people within them live very interconnected, communal lives.
The chirps and clicks Scarab makes aren't just noise, they're a vital secondary language for his people. If you know what to listen for, you can figure out a lot about what one of them might be feeling just based on how they trill. Seriously, it's important enough that you can tell if one is sick based on the pitch and frequency of a chirp. Scarab's unfortunately forgotten a huge portion of this unspoken language, but he still has a few of the rudimentary noises to convey broader emotions. Prismo has been slowly, but surely learning them as well.
Anyway, I think that's what I've got for now. Might make another post if I come up with anything else, but I hope y'all like my worldbuilding dump. See y'all tomorrow!
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birchbow · 26 days
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Have you ever went into detail abt how you think bulges/nooks work? Seems simple enough, cooch and tentadick, but I started thinking abt it and like... how the hell does everything on the inside work? Whats really the point of having the "afab" bits if trolls depend on mother grub to reproduce? Gestures vaguely to bulges??? What?????
So okay. Honestly much like the drone season thoughts I posted a while ago, this makes sense to me if you consider a species that has the reproductive strategy they do, but consider them several millennia ago.
It makes sense for buckets to be a convenient adaptation that trolls came up with but it doesn't make sense for them to be a pre-requisite for their species to breed! So instead, in lieu of buckets, it makes sense to me trolls would just have an organ that's meant entirely for fluid storage and was hooked to both nook and bulge, and would just mix genetic material via fucking each other so it mixed internally. They don't need a uterus to gestate babies; by the same token, an organ that just exists to hold fluid and keep it body temperature and genetically viable before eventually expelling it after long-term storage is not something the human body needs, but would be pretty necessary if you procreate like trolls but don't have the technology of buckets yet lol.
In that case, the nook would basically be an entry point for that storage organ, which I don't know if I personally have ever mentioned by a name in a fic, although I know I've made reference to a seedflap which in my head is the entry point for it--about where a human might have a cervix, although in this case much more intended for potential ingress, depending on relative sizes. And the bulge would just be the means of getting genetic material into your partner so they could store it.
various points of note that come to mind:
This does mean that whenever a troll in Ancient Times fucked a partner, if they hadn't emptied out recently, the odds aren't bad that they would actually have some mixture of their own genetic material and somebody else's in there. And would not come entirely your own come, which is a wild concept as a human.
A reasonable excuse if you were pretending to be a slightly different shade than you were and got caught because of slurry: uhhh I fucked somebody yellow-blooded, that's why it looks lime instead of jade. BYE!!
Also means that although there was no concern about getting somebody pregnant, any form of STI that trolls could contract would be a pretty huge deal before vessels/buckets became a thing and it became more reasonable to clean out after fucking a single partner. Anything that spreads through fluid exchange, highly transmissible and dangerous!
Because most trolls in modern days haven't had to retain large amounts or for long, they tend to get cramping and a feeling of fullness for much smaller amounts than their ancient relatives would have.
Not wanting a bucket immediately after you fucked would have some connotations--old-fashioned, but romantic. A little sexy and kinky.
Modern trolls just don't have the carrying capacity they used to. >:I Buckets have ruined our bodies!!! Retain your slurry, it's natural!!! It gives you the power of your natural connection with the Mother Grub!!! << the modern troll's equivalent of the nofap guy.
Anyway there you go that's been my general theory in the porn I'm writing, ta-da~~
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notyourfunnyman · 1 year
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Rain World Art Month
Day 18: Lizards
wanted to do atleast One art month prompt. here's my scugsona, the Aviator, providing their yellow lizard friend with some nice grub :)
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