I’m relistening to Old Oak Doors and Kevin is actually the funniest fucking character ever written
Kevin: StrexCorp…StrexCorp was in the process of bringing together the two cities, but there was some…
Kevin: Yessss. Thank you, Lauren. You’re so helpful with your words.
Kevin: Pteranodons are not dinosaurs, Lauren. They are arachnids.
Kevin: And hard work!
Lauren: Mmm. I’m pretty sure it’s implied that hard work is part of it, Kevin.
Kevin: I’m pretty sure I didn’t ask for your feedback.
And then in episode 47:
Lauren: I couldn’t agree more! I just want to vote for both of them.
Kevin: Me too! But you can’t! It’s very illegal. Do not try, or the lawbreaking will be dealt with.
Lauren: Thanks Kev. Can I call you Kev?
Kevin: Haha! No, Lauren. By no means.
29 notes · View notes
Many thanks to @autumnslance for letting me play with her lovely Dark Autumn!
AU: Last Dragoon
Year 07 of the Eighth Umbral Era
Wedding planning was going as well as Linda had expected it to.
Constaint was amiable to almost anything and she could bring him around to her point of view on this. Bel was less inclined to give in at all. “I don’t want it to look like I’m pilfering from the winter stores.”
“Bel,” Linda paused when Chochoba tapped on her elbow. Absently she picked the lalafel woman up and placed her on her own shoulders. When Chochoba settled Linda continued. “It’s one small feast, it’s not going to destroy the winter stores. And it will help morale, something that everyone can celebrate, something that feels stable.”
The Miqo’te woman dragged a hand down her face. “Are you ever going to drop this?”
“No we are not.” Chochoba said sternly from Linda’s shoulders. “Let the old women have their pleasures.”
Bel narrowed her eyes at both of them and her tail thrashed like she was cornered. Which, if Linda was being honest, she was. The pair of old women waited and stared perfectly willing to stay where they were at until Bel cracked and agreed with them. Bel glowered some more with an expression she had picked up from Gaius Baelsar. “Fine.”
Linda and Chochoba smiled brightly. Now it was on to the fun part.
Gaius looked over his shoulder when he felt tugging on the back of his coat. He had expected to see one of Defiant’s children. He had not expected to see a lalafelen matron expertly climbing up his back. He stared nonplussed for a handful of moments before speaking, “What are you doing?”
“Hush long bones, I’m too old to be putting a crick in my neck looking up to check decorations.” Chochoba settled on his shoulders.
“But not too old to climb up the back of my coat?” Gaius knew the answer already, but felt the need to voice the question so that he could say he had.
“Yup!” Chochoba chimed brightly. “Now let's check that this is all perfect and our fearless leader will be shocked into a few moments of self indulgence before she shoves the rod back up her butt.”
Gaius Baelsar, former legatus of Garlemald and hunter of Ascians sighed. After just three years a pair of old women had managed to brow beat him into going along with this kind of nonsense. He walked over to the first set of decorations that Chochoba indicated.
“Constaint be a good lad and put me on your shoulders. My old neck can’t take all of this any more.” Chochoba smiled broadly.
“Oh course Lady Choba.” Constaint got down on one knee and held out an arm so that the matron could easily climb up to his shoulders. “What high cupboard did something get hidden in this time?”
“Such a clever boy.” Chochoba reached around to pat the paladin’s cheek affectionately. They walked in comfortable silence for a time before the old woman spoke up again. “Thank you for helping to take care of our Bel.”
Constaint smiled thinking of his soon to be wife. “She hardly needs me to hold her hand, I am deeply honored that she has trusted me to hold her heart.”
“She’s lucky to have you dear boy.”
“Dark Autumn, could I bother you for some help?”
The Roegadyn woman glanced down to the lalafel and smiled. “Does it require a piggy back ride?”
Chochoba laughed, “No, not this time. I just need help putting ribbons on flowers.”
“Lead the way,” Dark motioned ahead of her and followed the matron with a deliberately slow step. She smiled when they entered the town hall and she saw a pile of fresh wildflowers and many colored ribbons at the long table. Realizing what Chochoba wanted she sat down and began to gather the flowers into bouquets to be tied with the ribbons. She paused when a yellow ribbon came to her hand. The ribbons were all handsome with rich soft color, though they weren’t as intense as what adventures had once loved to parade about in. Dark Autumn drew the yellow ribbon through her fingers. “She used to wear yellow ribbons in her pigtails.”
Chochoba paused, it was rare either Bel or Dark Autumn spoke with anyone else about the friends and family they lost with the Warriors of light and Scions of the Seventh Dawn. She forced her hands to go back to their tasks. “It’s hard to picture her with hair that long.”
Dark chuckled and went back to tying the ribbons. “She cut it when she became a squire. She told me once that her ears were hard enough to deal with under a helm, let alone ears AND hair.”
Chochoba smiled, that did sound like their pragmatic girl. “Would her mother have approved of this?”
Dark Autumn smiled, “Constaint was Art’imis’s squire and she trusted him, I can’t imagine she’d be anything but supportive. Lord Edmont, Count Artoirel, and Estinien on the other hand, would have wanted their time to question him.”
Chochoba laughed at that. “As grandfathers uncles and big brothers, are want to do.”
“Yes,” Dark Autumn agreed and they went back to their jobs. After a few minutes Dark Autumn spoke up again. “Art’imis would have liked you and Linda, and appreciated how you’ve taken care of her girl.”
Chochoba stilled again and looked up at the Roegadyn woman and her kind eyes. “Thank you, it’s good to know that.”
“Now we should get to back to work before Vidofnir runs out of reasons to keep Bel away,”
9 notes · View notes