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sweetiepie08 · 3 years

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RebelZ (Chapter 9)

Invader Zim fanfic

While analyzing Zim’s PAK for weaknesses, Tak discovers strange coding that sends her on a search for answers. The clues lead her to uncover a conspiracy that governs all of Irken society. When the truth sends her on the run, she has no choice but to return to the one place the Tallest would never willingly go: Urth.

Meanwhile, Dib has noticed odd changes in Zim’s behavior. Has the invader simply grown bored of his mission over the last few years, or is there something more interesting going on?

People who asked to be tagged: @incorrect-invader-zim , @messinwitheddie, @reblogstupids, @cate-r-gunn, @agentpinerulesall

If anyone else would like to be added to the tag list feel free to message me. Also, if you’re on the tag list and you changed your name, please just let me know.

Chapter 1. Chapter 2. Chapter 3. Chapter 4. Chapter 5. Chapter 6. Chapter 7. Chapter 8. Chapter 9. Chapter 10.

[-]

“Care to tell us what the fuck that was?” the Dib shouted as they ran down the hall.

“A coup, obviously,” Zim shot back. “Just not one where you seize power at the end. So, half a coup.”

“So then who seizes power now?”

“The Tallest Red and Purple still have it,”

Dib nearly tripped over his own feet in his shock. “You mean you didn’t kill them?”

“It’s nearly impossible to poison an Irken,” Tak explained. “The PAK filters out most toxins. You can incapacitate them, though, for a short period of time.”

“So you basically just quit your job in spectacular fashion,” Dib said indignantly.

Tak almost couldn’t believe it. Zim must be sincere in his betrayal. He poisoned the Tallest and declared to the entire upper crust of the Irken military that it was intentional. There was no coming back from that. Every other disaster he caused could reasonably be argued as a mistake. But there could be no doubt here. Zim truly had turned on the empire.

Yet, something still didn’t sit quite right with her. If he had gone rebel, if he had truly turned traitor, then his life clock would have gone off like hers did. One would reasonably assume the impotence for this betrayal was her discovery of the Control Brains parasite, but she was with him ever since she told him that news and she never saw his life clock go off. But that could only mean something else prompted him at an earlier date. So the question was, what made Zim finally snap?

They came to a split in the hallway. Tak started going right while Zim went left.

“Uh, the Voot is this way,” Tak called.

“I’m not going to the Voot,” Zim yelled back. “I’m going to the control room.”

Dib and Tak cast each other a glance, then followed him. They found him crouched behind a door at the end of the hall and joined him in his hiding spot. Dib took a peak inside. There, dozens of Irkens worked at their stations. They seemed unaware that, for now, their leaders were incapacitated.

Zim tapped his PAK and a metal ball flew into his hands. He pulled a pin, tossed it in, and smashed the control panel, shutting the door. They heard coughing from the other side and, after a few minutes, opened the door to find the Irkens unconscious on the floor.

“So, what are we doing in here again?” Dib asked, as they stepped into the room.

Zim grabbed one of the Irkens who still slouched in their chair and threw them to the floor. “Wiping Urth off the navigation map.” He sat down and the monitor and started messing with the buttons. “If I’m going to continue to use it as my home base, I can’t have them finding it.”

“Not so fast,” Tak slapped his fingers away from the buttons. “Before this goes any further, I need answers. If you’re truly on our side, there’s only one way your life clock didn’t go off.”

“We don’t have time for this!”

“You had a rebellious thought!” Tak declared. “When?”

“Three Urth years ago.”

“Three years?” Dib shouted, stepping up to them. “But I’ve been watching you. Why were you still trying to conquer Earth if you kinda-quit three years ago?”

“I wasn’t.”

“But I saw you building machines!” Dib argued.

“They weren’t for me!” Zim shot back.

Tak began to ask “But how-” before Zim cut her off.

“Silence!” he shouted. “Silence your questions! I need to concentrate.”

Zim continued typing on the buttons until a picture of the Earth appeared on the screen. The stats were scarce, save for the coordinates and the note, ‘that place where Zim is.’ The little blue ball of dirt and water had gone unnoticed by the empire, noteworthy only as a banishment site. To them, it was merely a place to keep Zim contained, far away from anything important. But after the stunt they pulled today, it would be a target.

Another few clicks of a button and the Urth was gone, leaving only a blank file in its wake. All Irken military ships automatically synced with the Massive. If it was gone from this data base, it was essentially invisible to all Irkens. If they wanted to find Urth again, they’d have to scour the universe for it. But why stop at Urth?

“Let’s dump it all,” Tak said.

“What?”

“Erase the database,” she said. “It’ll be a crippling blow to the empire.”

“Do we really have time to erase everything?” Dib asked. The human made a good point.

“Jut the maps then,” she suggested. “They would have to rebuild their navigation systems from scratch and it would send the fleet into disarray.”

“Zim is no radical!” Zim snapped. “I’m only doing this to cover my own ass.”

“Not a raical?” Dib scoffed. “You just poisoned your own leaders.”

“That was personal,” Zim argued. “This is political.”

“And what about those weapons you’re building?!” Dib shot back. “If they’re not for Irk, then who are they for?”

“Zim’s business deals are none of your… um… business!”

“Shut up!” Tak commanded, taking a seat at another monitor. “We don’t have time for this! Let’s get these maps erased and get out of here.”

“If you even make it that far,” a chorus of voices answered.

Dib looked around. “Who said that?”

“We did, human.”

Every Irken in the room rose to their feet. Tak prepared herself for a fight. Her eyes darted as she watched them all, poised to deploy the weapons in her PAK. But none made a move to attack. They all stood there, stalk still, with a dead look in their eyes.

Dib gaped at the sight. “H-how are you…”

“Silence Urth Creature!” the possessed Irkens shouted in unison, turning their cold eyes toward Dib. “Do not interrupt us again!” Dib shut his mouth and the Irkens calmed. “Congratulations defectives” they said, now addressing Zim and Tak. “It’s been centuries since we had to resort to total override, but mark our words, you will pay for this waste of food.”

“What do you care for waste?” Tak spat back at them. “You throw Irken lives away every day in your conquest.”

“A calculated cost to bring me more to feed from in the long term,” the Irkens explained with their eerily monotone voices. “You should know about calculated risks. Don’t forget, we see everything you do.”

“When have I ever sacrificed good soldiers?”

Every possessed Irken in the room wore the same mocking smirk. “All through your training days. Don’t you remember? We saw everything you did, every little cheat to get ahead.”

The Irkens tapped buttons on their control boards and soon, every monitor showed various scenes from Tak’s training years. “Electrodes hidden in your boots to cripple race opponents. Stealing test answers and planting them in a rival’s locker after copying them for yourself. You got top scores on your exams and excelled at your drills, but is it really victory if you have to sabotage your competitions? Oh sure, you studied and trained, but it never felt like enough, did it? Never thought you could win a fair fight. Had to tear someone else down first. Maybe, if it weren’t for all your cheating, we’d have let you make up your Elite ranking test. After all, we allowed everyone else who was inconvenienced by the blackout to take it.” Their smirks grew as they twisted the knife further. “Just not you.”

Tak ground her teeth together as she watched the images play out on the screen. There was no denying them. The monitors played footage from her own memory bank. They showed her and everyone else who she really was. She work so hard. She clawed her way to the top and did everything she could to stay there. But it was all a lie. And now they knew it. What was worse, Zim knew it. That little pain in the ass managed to make it to elite the first time, even while being a walking disaster, and he never had to deliberately cheat. The idea of him lording that over her was enough to make her blood boil.

“Perhaps you can prove everyone wrong, though,” the Irken voices went on. “Take the honest route for once in your life. Tell Zim what you learned on your little trip to Refirencee. Tell him what you suspect.”

“Fool!” Zim scoffed. “Zim already accessed Tak’s memories. I know everything she knows about the Control Brain parasite.”

“Yes, you saw the same books. But did you reach the same conclusions?”

“Guys! Don’t you see what it’s doing?” The Dib burst in. “It’s distracting you. It’s keeping you here until your leaders recover. Let’s erase those maps and get out of here!”

“Silence!” Zim snapped at Dib, then turned back to the dead-eyed Irkens. “Tell Zim what you know, creepy hive-mind…thing!”

“Have you ever wondered why you’re such a failure? Why you destroy everything you touch? Why, no matter what you do, everything always blows up in your face? It’s because you have no choice in the matter. It’s what you were made for.”

“What are you talking about?”

“Before we push for something big, we require extra sustenance. We take this sustenance in what some have called a blood toll. On our first planet, we made many mistakes, one was asking our hosts directly for sacrifices. We know better now.”

“Ans what does this have to do with me?” Zim growled impatiently.

“Since the beginning of our reign, one PAK has been passed down through generations, carrying a suppressed impulse for destruction. We need only to activate it and we have our blood toll. Clearly our PAK has become quite damaged over the years. It no longer works quite right. You’re so defective, you couldn’t even declare your name right.”

The screen flashed the name Zim across it. It then reversed the letters and spread them out to reveal an acronym. ZIM became MIZ. And MIZ became Massacre Initiator Z.

“You were supposed to live as a low-ranking drone until we activated your destructive impulse and die in the disaster. You, however, defied us at every turn. We kept you alive out of sheer curiosity. We wanted to see how your life would play out. It’s been entertaining, however, you’ve become too great a burden to bare.”

Zim stood motionless, staring straight ahead. They waited for the typical Zim outburst of “lies!” or declaring his greatness, but nothing came. His eyes looked as dead as the possessed Irkens around them. He said nothing, did nothing. As much as Tak couldn’t stand Zim’s obnoxious voice or erratic behavior, watching him be so still was chilling.

Tak’s antenna perks at the sound of footsteps trooping down the hall. The Dib’s head darted for the door. “Guy! Come on! We’re out of time!”

Tak smacked Zim’s lifeless body away from the control panel. “Do you think you can stop us by getting into our heads?”

“Oh simple Tak,” the Irkens sighed. “We've lived in your heads since you were fitted with your packs.”

Tak sneered at them. “I cut you off for me and I won't rest until every Irken is free of you.”

“Please, you worked your whole life to get our attention. You finally have it. Do you want to throw that away? Perhaps we can find a place with someone of your drive and ingenuity.”

“Liars!” Did they think she was stupid? She knew as well as it that treason of this scale would never go unpunished. Even if they tried to appease her with a higher rank or a cushy job, it’d only be a matter of time before they got rid of her. But even the fact that it was trying to negotiate meant something. She was a threat to it, and she would stay a threat until the day she died.

“We you know you, Tak. You’re a plotter. You won't do anything rash.”

They don’t know me half as well as they think. “Want a bet?” She started hitting buttons on the control board. An alert came up on the screen and the voice blared from the speakers. “All maps queued for deletion. Are you sure you want to proceed?”

She hit one more button and the screen went black. “Deletion successful.”

“Take that you parasite bitch.”

“Come on,” Dib begged, pulling on her arm. The footsteps were noticeably louder. “We have to go now!”

Tak took off running and Dib pulled on the frozen Zim until his legs moved. They burst into the hall and immediately came across a group of Irkan soldiers. “There they are!” one of the soldiers cried.

Tak led the way as they ran toward the ship’s hanger. The soldiers fired at them. A laser cannon popped out of Tak’s pack and returned fire, but it was difficult for her to aim while leading the dash to the Voot. She wished one of her companions had could back her up with a pistol but Zim was still barely conscious and Dib was preoccupied with keeping his legs moving. The sound of little metallic feet running beside them gave her an idea.

“Zim, tell me your SIR unit to go into defensive mode.

There was no response. Zim was as helpful as a sack of empty ginzor cans.

“Hey Zim’s robot,” Dib said to the little SIR unit.

Gir looked up at him curiously. “Hmm?”

“Don't you have any weapons or something?”

“Huh?”

“You know, something that makes pretty lights and goes ‘pew, pew’?”

“Oh that. I got that.” A giant laser cannon popped out of his head and he fired wildly into the soldiers behind them, forcing the Irkens to scatter for cover

Finally, they made it to the hangar and all jumped in the Voot. Zim slid zombie-like into the pilot seat.

“Come on,” Dib said, shaking Zim’s shoulder. “Get us out of here!”

“Zim!” Tak snapped. “If you don't fly this ship, I will!”

That seemed to work. Zim shook off whatever stupor he was in and his usual look of single-minded determination returned to his eyes. “No one pilots Zim’s ship but Zim!” He took hold of the controls and the ship roared to life. In a flash, they took off into the stars.

#invader zim #invader zim fanfic #invader zim fanfiction #parasite au #iz parasite au #zim #tak #dib #gir #rebel zim #rebel leader tak #iz #zadf #sweetiepie writes #sweetipiewrites #sweetiepie fanfiction #sweetiepie fanfic #sweetiepie08

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buzzmemes · 4 years

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I hate this

I hate this : Memes

your passport photo and copy of passport At my school, the homework was to color the picture. So very true... In my school it’s so bad, the teacher projects it on the whiteboard ah, nightmares Soo true XD They say that because you cropped it out. And that is a fact They use plotters I get it! Lol that’s good shit Im sory Toad The homework that steals your time and your lunch money 99% of sane teachers shows u the color image on smart board No teachers want to show u crappy print Just understand it. Color printer is expensive. You’re telling me that teachers give out free black children? Bet, already got three in the basement itsa me, Noir-io Facts tho It'sa me, a-Copyo! We all make mistakes in the heat of passion, Jimbo. Come back in ten years And they pop in a “do you see the ... in the picture” question Why mario on the right looks like he's about to wake me up at 3 am saying with deep demonic voice It's time for me to turn you into my spaghetti Is this the new "We have ____ at home" ? Since im in school this is to relatable The math graphs were the worst though 30 years of saving princesses, 30 years of smashing brown mushrooms. And for what? Cake? Mario!? Why does this remind me of the fearsome Llapp Goch Master. There's a good chance this is unique! I checked 103,921,185 image posts and didn't find a close match Whenever I got bad copies I'd always split the best copies around the room so every student was at least near a good copy and keep a bad one for myself... Remember when you were the chosen one to go out of class and get em papers wonderful If Mario was in Papers, Please AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA printer companies: see you little shits? this is why your printer needs colored cartridges! My name is paublo Yes Is that pablo It's supposed to be not centered Based on a true story Itsa me, Marijuanio! he looks so sad:( NVM took a secound look he looks like he bout to ask me if i wanna buy WEEEEEEEEEEEEEDDD Kinda looks like Hitler though Noah get the Death Star. My kindergarten teacher wife has to print shit at home for this reason. Effectively costs $300/year in paper/ink and another $100 to replace whatever broken down color ink printer we have in a given year. I want her to transition to laser, but haven't been able to convince her. More like the board of Education, principal and superintendents wanting another raise so the kids get B&W copies. At our large school we have 1 color copier, the rest are black and white. More often than not, kids are not getting color copies. Budget. Why is this too true Don't you be knocking LaserJet. Those things were a tank whose toner lasted a long time. DeskJet is what you are looking for. Made with HP LaserJet 100 color MFP Same Mario on the right side looks like sleep paralysis demon, ngl. Mario and Noireio. Top 10 hollywood stars ruined by drug addiction. It looks like if he ran into me he'd try to stuff me into an animatronic suit where I belong Mario looks like he's going to go on a mugging spree Too true Me looking at my paper: HERE WE GOOOO One more gram common u can do it is fentanyl the new drug to go? i only appy the fentanyl patches on them cancer patients at work, so they don't suffer 24/7. a couple of months ago there was a problem at our elderly home, bc some crazies tried to dig them used patches out of our trash..have fun with patches which are covered in shit and piss You should have done 64 or 69 Bro youd die before you even got through half a gram of fentanyl wtf do you even know what fentanyl is lmao A true epic gamer moment God I wish I had some pure fent Issa me, Black tar heroin Mario! Come with me and meet my gang of druga dealers! I really Was expecting a rickroll lmao And this is probably what he's listening to on his alone time https://youtu.be/ijBrulQXE2U It me mrio I jst snrted one mre grm and I jst deid DO IT FOR THE GRAM Go ahead and do another gram just one more gram Legendary The homework that steals your time and your lunch money............... Luigi says: do the coke to get the smoke Betta tell your moms your dads your ministers... WOOOMP WOOOMP WOOOMP!!!! Justa what me the Doctor Mario prescribed Mama mia I a need a more of that a shit YAHOOOOOO!!!! And remember kids - when you do drugs, you go to hell before you die! It’s a me druggooo Mario! I have snorted 68 grams of pure fentanyl and I am going to die. Itsame itsame I’m literally studying for an exam right now and my professor put that on his own notes... like bro nobody gives a shit about your stats notes I had a professor just say “don’t waste your money on the book. Just google book name pdf and it should be the first link.” Then he did in in class go show us And then you have the ones that sell their own 40 page notes in 2 sections for €20 each at the college book store. Or the ones that make class notes and give them out in the first class. Even better are the ones that accidentally send a pdf of their own book that they make no money on due to a shitty publisher to one or two people in the class. my favorite kinds of professors A full commitment is what I'm thinking of A lot of emulators come with a warning like "Use a bios file from your own console. Do not download one for free from the Internet!" I saw something on TIL a while back, during the prohibition era of the United States, some companies sold grape concentrate. They had a warning on them that said something to the effect of "after adding the concentrate to water, do not let it sit for two weeks as it will ferment into wine." As if...they wanted you to do it! That's a pretty calculated statement for them to make. *mobile errors I had calculus profs who would tell us 'I legally cannot advise you to steal copywrited material so under no circumstances should you go to this website and torrent the textbook for free instead of buying it from the overpriced book store and wasting your money' I always love those blank pages that just have in like size i font "Do not write here" for no fucking reason. Then the teacher tells you that they didn't see it I like when it’s in huge, WHITE print in the middle of the fucking page so half the assignment is cut off I like when it says on the side of the paper COPYRIGHTED MATERIAL DO NOT PHOTOCOPY OR DISTRIBUTE BY ANY MEANS Or the "here's a form that was made in Excel, if you could fill it out so that we can input the information back in Excel that would be great." "yeah..." "But the image gets worse!" Work in Japan. Teachers give me a copied paper. "just copy it. They have the file on their damn computer. Which is where we are sitting. -20 points. I can’t even read the damn question At my school, we get lectured for printing a class set rather than just a master. They say it’s about toner being cheaper and the copier cartridges are much much bigger. There are also a lot of places where teachers don't have access to a shared laser printer like that and don't have any option but to make photocopies, so stuff like the OP can be unavoidable sometimes. Genuinely not a problem in my school - we have a fleet of MFDs for bulk printing. We have an admin assistant in charge of the reprographics room who can interrupt jobs if needed as well. It's just an old mindset that they can't get out of. Yeah but then you have to be the asshole that released a print job with 200+ pages while others are waiting to use the copier since this is the only one you can print to. What is full sending? huzzah, a man of quality Have you tried full sending it? From an IT perspective, usually it's not that they want you to know what triggered the problem, they want you to provide concise information on what exactly you were doing up until the issue occurred. Though I do understand that IT technicians are notoriously unsociable lol I'm sure thats a great suggestion but that's the thing is that IT acts like its up to the enduser to already know whats causing the issues and what needs to be done to fix it. Also this doesn't solve his/her issue of getting staples on the copies. Have your IT reinstall your driver and you can select the options that your printer has. likely you are on a global driver, or it wasn't installed correctly! Or if I want staples. We can only select staples on our copier itself. It would be easier if the print queue thing was reliable. But I can't keep running back to my room if it didn't send it, so I make extra copies from my first one. Or if I need front/back from different originals I work in IT support for a school - teachers, for some fucking reason beyond my understanding, seem to print one copy of something, then photocopy it for their classes. Telling them that just printing it for everyone keeps the quality better doesn't sink in. It costs the same, comes out of the same device, and it's less work, but I'm the insane one. Th s rin er se ms o æ run ing lo n ink To the knee And my axe! And my sword! Take mine too! Fuck off take a useless arrow Actually it seems this printer is low on incas. Damn u incas "I'm so sorry kids, our ancient printer is not working properly again" Read the full article

#Memes #memesdaily

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roxannarambles · 7 years

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Top Twelve Favorite Uranium Pokemon

After I posted my review of Uranium, I felt bad because I don’t think I highlighted the good fakemon enough and spent a lot of time discussing the bad ones. So I wanted to show off some of the coolest ones I ran across in the game. This favorites list is based on the design and concept of the pokemon and not necessarily their stats or abilities.

Apologies for a few of these pics looking a bit janky and weird, I need to still evolve/catch those in my save game before taking proper screencaps.

1.) Linkite

Pretty sure this is my favorite fakemon of the whole game. It has simple, striking imagery. It’s clearly a ghost-type based on the Substitute doll; the idea behind it is that it is the spirit of a pokemon that died while in its pokeball. It’s a dark idea without going too overboard, and it’s quite creepy and disturbing and just darn clever. Wanted to use in my playthrough but stats are super-bad and only way it can evolve is via trading, which I couldn’t do with my copy of the game at the time.

2.) Metalynx

While I do not care for the look of the Water and Fire starters, nor do I think much of Metalynx’s pre-evolution, I feel Metalynx itself is an excellent design. It’s unqiue and creative, and looks quite badass, and it served me well in my playthrough. I have noted elsewhere I think the floral pattern on his back looks a bit out-of-place and silly (I assume it was an attempt to tie in the whole ‘he’s a grass type, really!’ thing) but that’s my only little nitpick. The Mega form is quite nice too.

3.) Nucleon

The pokemon itself is very overpowered with its ability (Atomizate, like Pixelate but with Nuclear typing) + Hyper Voice, especially with a choice scarf, so it can actually be pretty boring to use. I’m also a bit miffed I didn’t teach my Eevee Shadow Ball before it evolved into Nucleon, because in terms of non-Normal/Nuclear Special moves, Shadow Ball really is the best. But Nucleon can’t learn it, only Eevee can. I had to stick with flippin’ Hidden Power.

Anyway! Point is, the design is very beautiful.

4.) Gargryph

l really love the concept behind this poke. When you visit the town you get one from, there are these statues all over the place and only later do you discover they’re alive. They’re obviously based on gargoyles, (or a ‘grotesque’ if you wanna be pedantic) specifically one that looks like a griffin. It’s actually really surprising Pokemon has never had anything resembling a griffin before. That’s a shame, because they’re really cool mythical beasts. This pokemon has a cool Ability called Rebuild, which restores a little HP if it wasn’t hit by an attack that turn. It complements a walling-pokemon style very nicely, especially one with Protect that carries Leftovers to maximize that recovery.

Unfortunately, this guy’s only good stat is its physical defense. Being a pure Rock type, it’s weak to so many special attacks it’s pretty damn difficult to use it effectively. But I still like the idea behind it as a walling/support poke, even if I could never get it to work. The sprite looks surprisingly really nice, too! One of the best in the game.

5.) Navighast

This is a Ghost/Fighting type, based on undead/cursed pirates. My first impression (its pre-evos are Swabone and Skelerogue) was that it looked too similar to Cubone/Marowak. And there are indeed strong similarities. But as it evolves it becomes more and more unique from that, and the idea behind it is different and really cool. The game features a rivalry between sea-faring ninjas and pirates, so some of the pokemon reflect that theme, this being the pirate-side of things. And who couldn’t love a pirate-themed pokemon? Besides, the typing combo is admittedly very fun.

6.) Firoke

This game has three lines of bug types that are closely related and become entwined in a truly awesome subplot. Obviously you can guess this is right up my alley-- that subplot was my favorite part of the game. Of the three elemental bug lines, I would say Smore/Firoke ended up with the best design. It’s also quite exciting to have a Fire/Bug type (only one of those in real pokemon), and a red ant is perfect for that. Its sprite is also the least weird-looking of the bugs and actually quite decent.

7.) Stenowatt

It be an electric raptor. What more do I need to say? :P I love the color combination and the design. Also feathered dinos make me happy.

8.) Empirilla

This game includes some fan-made evolutions of real pokemon. This ‘lil fellah is actually pretty neat, and prob. my favorite of the evolutions from real pokes. I never much liked Primeape, and Empirilla looks way neater to me, so it’s an improvement in my mind. It also relates back to the original designs well.

9.) Baaschaf

This black sheep is perhaps understated in its strength, as the design is nothing extreme or dramatic. Rather, it’s just a very solid design. It fits into the pokemon universe well, and differentiates itself just fine from Mareep’s line.

10.) Raffiti

So, yes, this is absolutely a Smeargle clone. But that’s OK because it’s BETTER than Smeargle’s design, which I never liked, haha. Also its stats are better than Smeargle’s, too. Plus it’s pure Dark type! That’s pretty neat.

11.) Geigeroach

Obviously my bug bias is clear here. But, c’mon. Nuclear cockroach. I would have been gravely disappointed if such a thing wasn’t included in the game. I should point out the thing is nigh impossible to actually use in battle; dual Something/Nuclear types always carry a buttload of x2 and x4 weaknesses, due to the nature of Nuclear typing, and if you combine that with a type that already has a lot of weaknesses, it’s only making it worse. Its stats are also poopy. So, yeah, you ain’t using this guy. But DANG DUDE the design is cool.

12.) Lavent

The stats are underwhelming, but I appreciate that this one’s based off geothermal vents and giant tube worms. An area that was just begging for a pokemon, honestly!

Honorable Mentions:

These are pokemon you can receive as eggs, either from an NPC or from the local Pokemon Professor for dex progress. I’m only placing them as HMs because I didn’t know about them until post-game, but they really are among the coolest designs.

Gellin

This thing reminds me so much of an Ultra Beast. (I’m pretty sure these were designed well before Sun/Moon was a thing.) After all, Ultra Beasts look . . . super weird and not like typical pokemon at all. It’s really damn hard to define exactly what an Ultra Beast looks like. But that *point* that thing does. It also has a weird unexpected type combo the way a lot of Ultra Beasts do-- this one is Grass/Electric.

Luxelong & Oblivicorn

The Dragon/Fairy Luxelong and the Fairy unicorn line that can lead to the Normal Kiricorn or the Dark Oblivicorn are both damn cool, and it’s kind of a shame I didn’t know about them until it was too late. I guess it’s motivation for the post-game, if I get around to it!

#pokemon #pokemon uranium #spoilers

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neingel · 7 years

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Complete review of Aether Revolt cards for Commander!

Well as the spoiler season ends as a new set prepares to be released. Aether Revolt does look to me one of the most exciting sets Wizards have made in a long while. Many new toys for Standard as well as minor tweaks for various decks in Modern to enjoy. However I myself am a Commander player and today I’ll be looking as well as handpicking a group of cards. Yes but not only any ordinary group of cards, but more specifically cards to a format I call home, yes that’s right! It’s time for a good breakdown of the potential cards in Aether Revolt that could see play in Commander!

Starting off, it’s no surprise that with every new set, everyone is excited with what new Legendary Creatures are in the set as they could make strong generals in the Future. I must say among the 5 all of them are very unique and have strong abilities. Sram falls perfectly into decks that already run Equipment, Auras and even recently printed Vehicles (Yes I’m looking at you Depala), while Baral features a Goblin Electromancer v2.0 with extra cycling effects, though not as good as a general but very promising in the 99. Yaheeni does seem to me my favorite pick for this entire lot, she’s low costed,able to protect herself and fits perfectly with popular graveyard strategies in EDH . Kari Zev does admittedly look the weakest among the 5 but who knows what build she might fit in. Last but not the least Rishkar can either be an excellent General fr a new build or give decks that play around with +1/+1 counters a unique “Cryptolith Rite”-like ability. Overall, I feel that the Legendary Creatures in this set has been of great success!

Again, a new set comes with a new cycle of special spells to play with. Not only are these spells pretty flavorful when it comes to the storyline, but they are all very powerful for what they do at their cost, getting a sweet effect and being able to cast a card for free from your hand is always nice. As for Commander I’m generally in favor of both Yaheeni’s and Rishkar’s Expertise, reason being Yaheeni’s is a mini board wipe early game which would result you in placing a reasonable 3 drop afterwards, while Rishkar allows you to draw a lot of cards and being able to not worry about mana and place a 5 drop from what you’ve drawn. However what I like most about them is despite each having the same “free cast” effect, each of them are still very unique in their own way and would definitely find a home in many decks.

WHITE

Do note, I might include the previously mentioned Expertises and Legendaries in these lists. Well in no order or ranking whatsoever, we shall start off the 5 best cards for each color in Commander!.

Consulate Crackdown

Now Consulate Crackdown is an interesting card that caught my attention when it first got spoiled, it was not only expected to be quite strong in Standard but also in EDH. White has gotten a unique way to get rid of pesky, troublesome artifacts (yes Darksteel Forge is definitely something this loves looking at) without actually having trouble blowing them up, resulting in all artifacts being reanimated through something like Scrap Mastery. Also this card works insanely well with Myconsynth Lattice, serving as another combo piece for the artifact that is well dreaded in Commander, this neat little trick causes you to exile each and every one of your opponent’s permanents, leaving them with nothing but your board in play. Insane boardwipe for artifact themed decks and it also serves as a powerful artifact removal for others.

Exquisite Archangel

Well about this card..yes it isn’t very good on paper as they are more reliable cards that prevent you from losing the game, cards like Platinium Angel and Phyrexian Unlife are both excellent in Commander. However do keep in mind, this card is just another one of those ways to prevent you from losing the game. Especially when it’s a long game, everyone has either ran out of answers or resources. Your opponents would most likely not want to see this being played. Also, this could fit in some neat Angel Tribal theme or some deck that aims to recur it’s creatures for their powerful effects.

Call for Unity

Ah yes..a White Coat of Arms! Being in White has never been better when you can run 2 Coat of Arms! Call for Unity does stand out a little bit from Coat of Arms though, it does not require a tribe to be played and it’s an enchantment. White in Commander is well known for some of it’s aggressive synergies, in particular creatures and their enchantments. This card’s strength is no stranger to many players. However, with it’s Revolt ability, a lot and I mean a lot of decks that play around flickering their own creatures/permanents will adore this card. It will be interesting to see how players will build around this card and how it might grow to be the next Coat of Arms.

Sram, Senior Edificer

Sram is a very interesting card. He could play effectively as a general but I feel he would be much better being in the 99 for decks playing Auras and Equipments, and boy there are a lot of generals that would love him in their deck! Zur, Kemba, Bruna Light of Alabaster, Krond, Aurelia, Jor Kadeen...the list just goes on! He is perfectly costed and acts as a very powerful draw engine for these decks.

Sram’s Expertise

Ah..token decks players are probably rubbing their hands in glee. Sram’s Expertise is literally a 4 for 1. Netting 3 tokens which make excellent blockers or simply piling them up to your already growing token army. The free cast for a ≤ 3 cmc card from your hand is just icing on the cake. Many token decks like Trostani, Rhys the Redeemed, Teysa Orzhov Scion and many more would have this auto-included.

BLUE

Mechanized Production

For players outside of Commander, seeing this Mythic might leave them a bad taste in their mouth. It does look quite horrible at times but Commander’s specialty is turning bulk rares into rock stars. This is just one of those fun cards Wizards prints once in awhile, Mechanized Production does remind me of Biovisionary but somehow easier to pull off due to it’s synergy with artifacts. You don’t necessarily need to copy a big fatty, but what you could do is to place it on “artifact tokens”. Thopters, Myrs, Golems...the list is endless, this card has quite the chance to shine in most artifact decks being a cheap and reliable copy generator or just simply a win-con in decks that produce a lot of tokens!

Whir of Invention

I clearly remembered when this got spoiled, I just started sharing with my friends about this “artifact chord”. While Improvise is slightly worse than chord, it does give artifact decks a strong instant speed tutor for any artifact in their deck. Also cmc isn’t really an issue with the amount of mana rocks artifact decks run, they can just improvise away~. Overall, solid card, not too over or under powered.

Disallow

As a control player and someone who adores counterspells...FINALLY! Like..it’s hard to put it but Disallow is literally the blue Voidslime. Heck, it’s an even better Voidslime for the ability to splash with colors outside of Green. It’s the same mana as Cancel but strictly, no I mean really - many blue players have wanted a Voidslime outside of Simic colors, and we finally got one! *Fist pumps like crazy*

Trophy Mage

Is that you Trinket Mage? Oh no? Oh but you do have better stats! Yes, it is Trophy Mage whom supposedly is the cousin of Trinket Mage except she is from Kaladesh. Anyways, Trophy Mage is just like Trinket Mage except she searches for only cmc of 3. But in Commander, cmc 3 often means Chromatic Lantern, Static Orb, Phyrexian Altar, Thousand-Year Elxir....the list is endless and you can see why this card makes it to this list.

Baral, Chief of Compliance

Well well well, I spy with my little eye a new addition to my Melek spellslingers deck as well as a potential powerful general. Yes, Baral is probably the card Goblin Electromancer should be. He is just strictly better than Electromancer, they both have the same effect, but he has looting and he’s not restricted to Izzet colors. I see him being a powerful addition to any spellslingers deck and he would make a good rival to the next mono-blue spellslingers general: Talrand.

Black

Herald of Anguish

This is probably one of the best demons I’ve seen printed in a Standard set in a long time, don’t get me wrong, Demon of the Dark Schemes back in Kaladesh was an all round solid card. But Herald of Anguish is a really powerful card. Improvise makes this potentially an unexpected early drop for your opponents, the discard ability is very relevant in black and it also has reliable removal that require some artifact synergy. I would love to see how artifact decks play around this card as it simply is a value-bomb.

Yahenni, Undying Partisan

Yahenni is pretty much what everyone is hyping about right now. She works too well with reanimation/sacrifice synergies in Commander. The fact she is almost a nightmare to deal with when combined with Grave Pact/Dictate of Erebos, she can buff herself and she can make herself immune to boardwipes is ridiculous. She is pretty solid in the 99 but I feel even more powerful as a Voltron general. Overall the best legendary in this set so far!

Yahenni’s Expertise

One of my personal favorite cards in this set that i expect to see Modern play, Yahenni’s Expertise is still quite strong in Commander. It does set itself up as an early boardwipe in Black following up with a creature or..Demonic Tutor :P it also gets rid of pesky, small hexproof/indestructible creatures. And for it’s cost, it’s normally alot of creatures and a free spell for 1.

Gonti’s Machinations

This is actually a very unique card in a unique spot. For just 1 mana, Gonti’s Machinations can be quite the trouble for opponents from the very moment it’s been cast. Black does have ways to lose life easily, 2 simple examples include Phyrexian Arena and Necropotence. Also it is easy to regain back the life lost since Commander is a multiplayer format, a simple activation of this in a 4 player game means you gaining back 9 life with just this cheap and simple enchantment. Overall, its a very unique and cool card I want to see being played.

Battle at the Bridge

I honestly wasn’t really excited for this card when it was spoiled, but then again I realized that again artifact decks in EDH can simply pay 1 Black to kill a fatty if they had enough artifacts. Sure it’s a sorcery but the life gain here is quite the bonus. Imagine over-tapping your artifacts to help cast this card help you stay in the game. This card is pretty underlooked but I’m sure it’ll have a few decks running it.

RED

Indomitable Creativity

Now, it is not the first time seeing a red “poly-morph” effect but this card can be used to yourself. You could basically set your deck up with Selective Memory/Doomsday, this card could basically be a card to set up the win with lesser mana than required. It could also mean a “Chaos Warp”-ish boardwipe for your opponent. Overall Vandalblast would be better but this is here for it’s combo potential.

Release the Gremlins

Despite it’s funny name, this card is actually pretty funny when played against your opponents. It is especially more hilarious when you already have some form of infinite mana combo together with Myconsyth Lattice and you basically wipe out your opponent’s board and leaving you a massive amount of Gremlins. +1 for flavor and name!

Pia’s Revolution

Now again for all the artifact lovers, I can imagine this card being in a mono-red artifact deck like...Daretti of all generals. Where he doesn’t really cares where the cards go to and opponents would definitely not want certain artifacts to be in the graveyard, in this case they would normally take the 3 damage. Another one worth mentioning is when Breya starts activating her ability for damage, this might actually push 4 damage to 10 out of nowhere.

Freejam Regent

Again, another solid bomb for artifact decks imo, a less than 6 cmc for 4/4 with flying and fire-breathing makes it a solid finisher. Other than that, this card is quite the value it speaks err as it breathes I suppose. Although many might disagree this card getting this spot as it is competing with other red dragons such as Hoard-Smelter Dragon, Hellkite Igniter and the biggest daddy of them all Hellkite Tyrant. But I still feel this card has a certain place for some decks in Commander.

Lightning Runner

A potential combo breaking card that could basically mean the win for you. Lightning runner does require a steep energy cost, but this might be the card that could break energy into Commander. 8 energy might be slightly hard to pull off whenever this attacks but some builds have started to show up building around generating massive/infinite energy. We will have to wait and see how strong energy will perform now with the addition of this sweet thing.

Green

Aetherwind Basker

And now as you can see, Elfball decks have a new toy to meddle around with. Aetherwind Basker can be quite a terrifying creature to drop earlier than usual due to ramp in Green. This gigantic lizard is a close mimic to other big finishers such as Craterhoof Behemoth as well as Decimator of Provinces, though not as powerful as the latter two,Basker does work terrifyingly well when either is cast. Basker does reward players when casting him on a board full of your creatures. Add in a Lightning Greaves/Concordant Crossroads and he is guaranteed to get in there for a lot of damage.

Rishkar’s Expertise

Rishkar’s Expertise does feel a lot like Soul’s Majesty, Momentous Fall or Regal Force. However, almost any green card with the ability like this all suffer the same weakness. Which is the case after you draw, you would normally not have the mana to play almost anything you drawn. Rishkar’s Expertise however allows you to play a reasonably “big” card at 5 cmc! And while you compare Rishkar’s Expertise to other Green cards that draw a massive amount of cards, Rishka Expertise is probably the best for it’s cost. That free cast for a cmc 5 card is just too good. I personally feel this has a slight edge over my other favorite Expertise, Yahenni’s.

Heroic Intervention

Everything about this card is awesome, the art, the fact Ajani is in it, the cost and most importantly the ability to basically counter a boardwipe/mass targeted removal. More importantly for 2 cmc and at instant speed? That is just absolutely bonkers when you think about it. Definitely will see play with the high amount of threats to permanents in Commander.

Rishkar, Peema Renegade

Rishkar is rounding out the last of the best Legendary Creatures in the set (Sorry Kari Zev :/). Rishkar does bring an interesting inclusion to generals playing around the +1/+1 counters mechanic. He does come in helping out 2 other creaures, for a 3 cmc 2/2, that is already quite good. But the real fun begins when most of your creatures with counters get to produce mana on their own. He is a great boost to many existing builds but also quite independent and strong on his own as a general.

Lifecrafter’s Bestiary

Now I know this isn’t an entirely Mono-Green card but we’re still in Mono Green and all of the cards mentioned here are still splashable in Gx colored decks. Anyways Lifecrafter’s Bestiary does look like a card many creature based decks would want to put in. A low costed artifact with a free scry every upkeep does sound interesting, but it acts as a earlier game Zendikar Resurgent that requires 1 green mana per draw activation. Overall, it’s low costed, packed full with value. Solid card just for Commander play.

Multicolored

Ajani Unyielding

Though Ajani has received some criticism around his speed and playability, I personally feel that he is actually good enough for Commander. He has the ability to get multiple cards into your hand fast, get rid of annoying creatures and his ultimate if you do get to a stage to use it, is literally a steroid pump to both your creatures and planeswalkers. All round very solid and I feel his abilities go very well along with his colors. Especially for the super-friends builds like Atraxa.

Tezzeret, Master of Metal and Tezzeret the Schemer

Now, I actually had a hard time choosing which of these 2 were going to take this spot, but I figured out that both were very powerful. Even if they aren’t as good as the original Agent of Bolas, both are still very solid in Commander. Let’s start off with the “heavy metal” version of Tezzeret, it does have a strong digging ability which is quite relevant in Commander, his 2nd skill can act as a way to ward off opponents or host a major lethal damage threat late game. Whereas his ultimate is very devastating, being able to take someone’s best creatures and artifacts is no laughing matter at all. Now onwards to the “scheming” version of Tezzeret, he does not provide any form of digging but he does produce an extra artifact that acts like a Lotus Petal. He has strong, solid and reliable creature removal while his ultimate though not as terrifying as the heavy metal version, does quicken your clock fast by turning any artifact you control during combat on your turn into a 5/5 creature. A time bomb ticking for your opponents if you will, sweet effect nonetheless. Tezzeret does have a thing for turning artifacts into 5/5s...why doesn’t he just make them slightly bigger?

Dark Imitations

A tuned-down version of Cruel-Ultimatum that targets each opponent, but does come with the added ability of returning either a creature or Planeswalker from your graveyard to your hand. What’s interesting is the synergy with the “Bolas” Planeswalker spell, this not only helps decks that already run the Nicol Bolas Planeswalker card but it also does give clues to the next set Amonkhet, the home plane of Nicol Bolas whom might have recruited other Planewalkers for his evil plans. All these hinting at more Planeswalkers printed with the “Bolas” keyword in their Planeswalker type. Overall, this card might be bound to seeing more improvements and playability.

Oath of Ajani

Well if Wizards was trying to push Planeswalkers in Standard, they forgotten that Atraxa Super-friends IS a very powerful deck in Commander. But outside of that particular topic, Oath of Ajani is the dream card for many Super-friends decks. It’s low costed, gives early buffs to a few creatures, reasonable when played mid-game. Again another solid card in this set overall.

Winding Constrictor

If you thought the invasion of cards having synergy with counters wasn’t enough in Aether Revolt, this little angry noodle does stand out a slight bit from it’s other counterparts in the set. The fact that it does give extra counters on both creatures and artifacts alike is very unique, it also has a 2nd ability which allows you as the controller to receive an extra counter of any type. I can certainly see this being placed in a very wide variety of decks. From +1/+1 counters to charge counters and loyalty points on Planeswalkers. This danger noodle will be guaranteed to be seen in decks far and wide.

Colorless

Metallic Mimic

Ah finally! I have no idea how long it has been where Wizards finally print a form of global tribe support. Metallic Mimic does seem to to be the new kid on the block, matching Adaptive Automaton’s popularity. Mimic does have a few differences from Automaton, it cost 1 less than its fellow robotic cousin and it also buffs your chosen creature type with counters. This means even if your Mimic dies, your creatures are sure to remain buffed with a counter.

Crackdown Construct

Ah.every once in a while a new awesome combo piece Wizards prints comes out of literally nowhere. While this awesome robot won’t be seeing much play in Standard. It will see immense amount of play in Commander. If you were wondering why this card is so hyped up for do take note. The equip rule states you can use an equipment to equip to the same creature as many times as possible so long as you can pay it’s equip cost. This means if u equip Lightning Greaves to Crackdown Construct, and naming an infinite amount of times equipping to it, you’ll have an infinite power and toughness robot flying at your opponent.

Inspiring Statuary

Well another interesting and potentially powerful piece of artifact that could bust Commander. Inspiring Statuary basically makes artifact decks have the confidence to run a bit more non-artifact cards. Simply because it would be much easier casting them with this card on the field with full of artifacts. It’s reasonably costed and I can see this card enjoying a good amount of play in Commander.

Paradox Engine

Probably the most ground-breaking, nerve-wrecking card in the entire set *hands down*, many are already comparing this to staples in Commander like Doubling Season, Seedborn Muse and somewhat a close resemblance to Prophet of Kruphix. I can guarantee almost any decks playing a untap/tap synergy such as Phenax,Ezuri Elves and Azami would go bonkers with this card. Sitting at 5 cmc which I feel is very low for a card with such a high power level. This card will change Commander as a whole, it’s effect is really too significant to ignore and when I mean too significant. When this hits the table...

Like literally man!

Land

As for lands goes, unfortunately only one card makes this list and that’s the new rainbow land in the entire set

Spire of Industry

Another card for artifact decks yet again! They finally have a City of Brass/Mana Confluence just for themselves. Spire does remind many of a less harsh Glimmervoid. But even though there are many rainbow lands available for artifact synergies in Commander. This is one good inclusion for many of them alike.

Conclusion

Aether Revolt is one of the most exciting sets we’ve stumbled across in a very long time! With powerful and unique “build-around-me” cards popping up, it is no surprise quite a number have made it into this list. The power level of Commander is certain to be on the rise as the player-base brews new strategies for each individual card in different decks or will we see a new archetype coming out on it’s own? It is still unknown but just look at the set so far! Despite the overwhelming amount of Artifact/Planes-walker/Counters support, many cards have been printed in good measure to bring new toys for a wide variety to play with.

If so, that’s all of the time I have for you today, be sure to follow the blog for more updates and such. And stay tuned for the next article as well, I’m hoping to see you there!

#mtg #mtg commander #mtg aether revolt #mtgnew #mtgsetdiscussion #mtgedh

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samiam03x · 7 years

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How to Manufacture Urgency to Blow through Conversion Roadblocks

We don’t need things.

We might need a six-dollar, almond milk, sea salt caramel mocha (no whip) when it gets a little chilly outside.

But we don’t need-need.

The lights are on. Roof over our head. Heating or AC blasting in the background.

That applies to most things you’re trying to sell.

Doesn’t matter if we’re talkin’ ‘bout that shiny new app you deployed or the fancy new eComm product. People don’t need it.

Which makes your life tough. How are you going to move the needle, get more subscribers, and scale revenue, when the vast majority of the people you’re speaking to have zero actual need to buy your widget?

You need urgency. Or more specifically, you need to manufacture urgency out of thin air.

Here’s how a few of the web’s top converting sites create urgency out of thin air to get visitors to finally commit once and for all.

Why Urgency Works

People don’t need your stuff. But it gets worse. Because people also resist change at the same time.

So you’ve got two problems. You need to shake people out of their inertia. And then somehow get them to act.

Thankfully, the solution’s no secret. There’s a book on it. Along with countless studies.

For example, ConversionXL explains one account where just a little bit of urgency sprinkled onto a product page lifted revenue by over 27% for Bob & Lush.

They came up with the idea to that “clarity of deliver time on a product page would push more customers to convert.”

Sound familiar? It’s what some of the best in the business, from Amazon all the way down to the QVC have gone to great lengths to employ.

So they made one relatively small tweak to their product pages.

The new variant included a little simple text box that highlighted when someone would receive their product if they ordered within a short time frame.

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Not only did revenue jump (27.1%), but the the number of purchases (9.5%) and checkout visits (10.1%) did, too.

Of course, the inclusion of this delivery date estimate wasn’t just a hunch. An epiphany. Or a ‘growth hack’ some growth hacker wrote about in their Bible to Growth Hacking on GrowthHackers.com

Instead, the hypothesis came from a place that good ideas always flow. But few rarely tend to go.

Consumer Research (AKA The Part Everyone Always Skips)

In 2012, Marcus Taylor of Venture Harbour launched a ‘Groupon deal for musicians.’ (And wrote about the experience in another excellent ConversionXL case study. Yes, I’m completely ripping them off today).

He reportedly invested months and even dipped into personal savings to fund it. The boats were burned. There was no going back. It had to churn a profit.

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No need to bury the lead. He increased conversions from a mediocre-but-fine 2.5% up to an astonishing 10.8% by infusing urgency into every pore of the site.

That incredible conversion lift wasn’t the part that got me, though.

This was:

When people think of conversion optimization, they go to landing pages. They go to headlines. CTAs. Images. And other similarly miniscule details that kinda don’t move the f-ing needle.

But all of those elements (which we’ll touch in soon) are at the mercy of one giant thing: the audience.

All of the CTA tweaks in the world can’t save you from targeting the wrong audience in the first place.

That’s the critical difference Marcus understood. And acted on. (Emphasis, mine.)

“Prior to launch, I “tested” hundreds of traffic sources, from Reddit Ads, to specific music forums. I wanted to know was which traffic sources I need to prioritise during the real campaign.

I ended up with a custom Google Analytics dashboard like this, which made it clear which traffic sources delivered the most relevant traffic.”

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“Not only did I know where my customers would come from ahead of time, but I knew more about my audience, such as how guitarists were almost three times more likely to buy than drummers, and that my conversion rate was highest in the UK and Australia.”

Similarly, when ConversionXL worked with Bob & Lush initially they didn’t haphazardly start throwing stuff on a DIY landing page builder. Rather, they begun with a boring, tired, old survey.

One hundred eighteen people opted in. And many agreed that their biggest fear centered around “running out of food for their dogs.”

That’s the catalyst. The trigger.

It manifested as a purchasing roadblock based on “knowing when the food would arrive.”

So that’s what ConversionXL leveraged. You’ve already seen the updated landing page variation that was a success. Just by using simple language to entice people to buy now (instead of waiting around).

The tactic – the thing you see on the screen – isn’t the point. It’s the impulse it targets. The underlying motivation that’s already preventing people from feeling like they need your thing.

It’s no coincidence that this is the exact same strategy that one of the interwebs top converters implements.

Expedia recently announced gross revenues of $16 billion. Up 8% from online sales.

Which should come as no surprise when you see what they’re doing.

How Expedia Manufactures Urgency Out of Thin Air

Visit Expedia.com.

The homepage is fairly bare. A giant reservation form takes over almost everything above the fold.

Below that, a few of “Todays Deals” are highlighted.

So far, not much is happening. It’s not until you actually search for a trip that things start to get interesting.

Vegas sounds fun. Pool season sure beats reading another blog post like this in your pajamas.

Plug in some dates. Hit Enter. And here goes.

Whoa. Lots happening.

You see plenty of greens (good!) and reds (bad!) to help you instantly understand their meaning.

In the lower right-hand corner, multiple little callouts keep popping up, sliding in and out of the screen, emphasizing the same thing: a BUNCH of other people are looking at booking these deals right now – so they might not last long.

Then of course, the Daily Deal hits you at the top of the screen. A classic countdown timer that ticks away. My heart rate sped up. Palms sweaty. Despite not having any real interest in booking this initially.

Once again, that was no accident. As this case study featured on Behave.org (formerly WhichTestWon) indicates.

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All that was added was a countdown timer. That’s it.

They even removed a few elements, including ‘free delivery’ and ‘order now’ in order to remove extraneous distractions and focus viewers on what mattered most: that countdown timer.

The result after 50,000 viewers? An instant 8% conversion lift.

Ok. Enough boring marketing stuff. Back to Vegas.

How Expedia Uses Price Anchoring & FOMO to Make this Trip Look like a Steal

Those FOMO callouts slide in and out of view.

The countdown timer continues ticking down. And then the product attributes help you decide.

For example, scroll down a little bit until you reach Cosmo.

It’s garnered a little yellow “Top Hotel” badge. It literally screams “Wonderful!” with excellent ratings and reviews to match.

Price anchoring in full effect, with the ‘sales price’ slashed down to the new effective one.

Scarcity comes into view with the strip of text in red that highlights the number of people who also booked this hotel in the past forty eight hours. Along with when it was last booked.

So. If we’re even remotely serious. We need to move fast.

Let’s select Cosmo. Because c’mon: wraparound terraces!

You look at available rooms and are immediately met by an “Unreal Deal” that will “save you 100% on your flight.” That’s backed up by the pricing, which shows you’ll ‘owe’ $0.00 more to select it now.

Deals like that won’t last. Don’t last. Which means you should act.

Not later, but now.

How Expedia Forces You to Take Action (Now)

Words matter.

It’s not that people absorb every letter in detail. They don’t. Hell – people don’t even read. ‘Specially not online.

But the sum is greater than the parts. It’s scanned in a moment’s notice and the meaning hits home.

For example, email marketing service AWeber ran a simple copy test on their call to action.

The only change? A single word.

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AWeber added the word “Now” to their call to action. And they saw a 12% increase in paid signups with a credit card.

An online travel booking flow is no different than any other conversion flow. Doesn’t matter if we’re talking about signing up for a new email marketing app or trying to go through a shopping cart checkout sequence.

The stats are remarkably the same, too. Online travel bookings see a 81% abandonment! While shopping cart abandonment averages right around 70%.

61% of those cart abandonments are because of ‘extra costs’ (including shipping, taxes, fees, etc.)

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You know how this feels. You’re super pumped about that new pair of plastic jeans (yes, that’s a thing) you just found. Except when you head over to checkout, you see that another ~30% has been tacked on due to taxes, shipping, and fees.

Guess what Expedia does, instead?

First, they ‘drop’ the price. Two cents. Literally. But it’s green and happy and there’s a check mark exclaiming “Good News.”

The other thing it says? “Book now to secure this price.”

Zooming into the pricing area on the right, you also see the savings of booking the flight and hotel together. Then, down below, you see the total price (again first – price anchoring).

And then a “Due at hotel” line item that cleverly buries all of those damn resort fees that we hate so much.

But they’re almost invisible because of how Expedia has positioned this pricing and sale.

Instead of being ‘thrown off’ the conversion scent at the moment of truth, you’re practically already packing your bags. #Humblebragging about your upcoming Vegas trip.

Conclusion

Ranchers use a cattle prod to get those big, dumb, slow moving animals to do what they want.

Whether that’s to eat, find shelter, or head to the slaughterhouse.

Consumers don’t need to do anything.

They might want lots of things. But they lack nothing. And so there’s no inherent desire to purchase your widget.

Instead, you have to create it. Manufacture it and bring it into existence.

For guidance, start with the web’s top converters. Expedia is a master at creating urgency by using countdown timers, product attributes, prince anchoring, FOMO, and a host of other psychological tactics that would make Cialdini proud.

Increasing conversions online isn’t about tricks or gimmicks or hacks. It’s about building up the value of your offering so much that people can’t help but convert.

About the Author: Brad Smith the founder of Codeless, a B2B content creation company. Frequent contributor to Kissmetrics, Unbounce, WordStream, AdEspresso, Search Engine Journal, Autopilot, and more.

http://ift.tt/2mNJfHR from MarketingRSS http://ift.tt/2py8Szi via Youtube

#MarketingRSS

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marie85marketing · 7 years