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calliesmemes · 2 months

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ABSOLUTELY UNHINGED COMEDIC RELIEF

ASSORTED QUOTES FROM TUMBLR TEXTPOSTS, X (formerly known as twitter) POSTS, TIKTOK, MEMES, AND OTHER SOURCES AROUND THE INTERNET

CHANGE gendered words and in-universe phrases as needed.

SPECIFY muse for multimuses.

“ Currently considering becoming a bother and a nuisance, maybe even a menace or a rascal. ”

“ Hungry? Eat the government. ”

“ Yes, I wanna fuck after every argument. ”

“ Silence, you uneducated peanut! ”

“ They should invent a being alive that isn’t so difficult. ”

“ Women have to think I’m hot or none of this matters. ”

“ Due to personal reasons I will be named an enemy of the state. ”

“ Being overdressed is a myth made up by people who didn’t want you to have fun and be sexy. ”

“ What even are daddy issues? Just traumatize your father back. ”

“ I LOVE complaining! You can’t take that away from me! ”

“ I went to the silly goose convention and they all knew you. ”

“ I’m simultaneously ‘I’m tired of this grandpa’ and ‘that’s too damn bad!’ ”

“ The word ew coming out of a pretty girl’s mouth holds so much power … I think that it can tear apart nations. ”

“ Someone made fun of my shoes and the whole time I just thought of ways to push them out the window. ”

“ If you’re short, simply get taller. ”

“ I better think twice? Buddy I don’t even think once. ”

“ My off putting looks, awkward demeanor, and strange behavior have captivated you. ”

“ There’s something deeply, fundamentally wrong with you. Can we kiss? ”

“ You are a fool. When you walk, clown music plays. ”

“ I mean yeah he’s evil and all but what if I were his favorite? ”

“ I really do hate thinking. ”

“ In my defense, I simply do not vibe with the law. ”

“ I’ve done nothing wrong. Except all the atrocities. Besides that, I’m innocent. ”

“ Sorry I couldn’t hear you over my internal monologue. ”

“ Of course you have white hair and trauma. ”

“ So apparently the bad vibes I’ve been feeling are actually ‘severe psychological distress’. ”

“ Stop calling me a bad person just because I’m orchestrating your downfall! ”

“ The more lip gloss I collect the longer I live. ”

“ Sorry that I am obsessed with you in the unhealthiest way possible. As if it's my fault ”

“ The multiple failed assassination attempts against me have helped build both character and self esteem. ”

“ I could be your loser boyfriend. Do you ever think about that? ”

“ Accidentally went and got myself killed yesterday, but god wont let me die so I’m back ”

“ What do you mean napping isn't a good coping mechanism? What do you mean my problems are still here? ”

“ Academic validation is required for my sanity. ”

“ RIP to everyone killed by the gods for hubris but I’m different and better. Maybe even better than the gods. ”

“ Researching the stages of grief to see if I can get them finished in ten minutes tops. ”

“ My parents were like I’m gonna make a child that is so beyond help. ”

“ It’s not easy to admit when you’re wrong, and that’s why I won’t do it. ”

“ Why can’t this family ever have a funky good time? ”

“ How do I show people that I’m more than my unethical career choice? ”

“ I fucked my way into this mess, and I’ll fuck my way out. ”

“ You look so biteable today. ”

“ Why am I suffering? I have so many correct opinions and takes. ”

“ I AM HAUNTED BY A PAST THAT I CANNOT GO BACK TO! anyways ”

“ Challenging authority, angering gods. The family business. ”

“ Third base is me telling you about my father. ”

“ Hey girl. Plagued by terrifying visions? ”

“ Got caught giving a fuck. Embarrassing. ”

“ I didn’t ‘miss’ the red flags; I saw them and thought that they looked sexy. ”

“ Do my dark circles and deteriorating health make me look hot? ”

“ I get my news from the only reliable source, cryptic symbolism in my dreams. ”

“ Another day of being a bisexual disaster. ”

“ I’m going to let myself be a little unhinged today, as a treat. ”

“ Some of you act like murder is such a big deal. ”

“ You wanna hunt me for sport so bad that it makes you look stupid. ”

“ You’re not a girlboss unless you’ve killed someone. ”

“ It’s so weird how no one ever has correct opinions about things except for me. ”

“ Hello, my love — I mean, my rival ”

“ No one is calling me baby and it’s outrageous I can’t believe it. ”

“ No talking stage. Mutual obsession and you see god in my eyes or nothing. ”

“ I DON’T UNDERSTAND HOOKUP CULTURE DIE IN MY ARMS ”

“ Yes baby your emotional walls are high and impenetrable can we kiss now? ”

“ Affection is disgusting. Drown me in it. ”

“ I am gatekeeping my respect from you. ”

“ Well, well, well, if it isn’t the consequences of my own actions. ”

“ I am equal parts fuck around and find out and please don’t yell at me I’ll cry. ”

“ Short legs, big butt. I’m a corgi. ”

“ Fuck being the bigger person; I’m going to start biting people. ”

“ Well that wasn’t very slay of you! ”

“ May I please get a crumb of affection? ”

“ I crave power! Please don’t yell, though; I’m sensitive. ”

“ You call it a near death experience; I call it a vibe check from God. ”

“ Here are some scissors. Now cut it out. ”

“ Might commit a little tomfoolery, maybe even some shenanigans. ”

“ All these flavors, and you choose to be salty. ”

“ How can I live, laugh, love in these conditions? ”

“ What if I said ‘to be honest’ but then lied? ”

“ I'm financially at a stage where I understand why people do fraud. ”

“ Yes I may be evil and morally corrupt, but I’m also incredibly beautiful and I think that makes up for it honestly. ”

“ Debates are stupid. Why would I want to sit down and argue with someone blatantly dumber than me? ”

“ I forget but I do NOT forgive.. I'm just walking around hating bitches can't remember why ”

“ Ding dong your opinion is wrong! ”

“ I’m coming for your kneecaps. ”

“ You dropped your nose you fucking clown. ”

“ Are you a fire alarm? ‘Cause you are really fucking loud and annoying. ”

“ Call me an escalator, because I let people down. ”

“ I love me a good lesbian scandal! ”

“ If you can’t run away from your problems, you’re not running fast enough. ”

“ Everything I want to do is illegal. ”

“ Don’t make me hit your ankle with my Barbie scooter! ”

“ I tell gay jokes because I am a gay joke. ”

“ Fuck! I dropped my mental stability! ”

#askbox meme #askbox prompt #rp ask meme #ask box #roleplay sentence meme #sentence starters #roleplay prompts #roleplay sentence starters #* sentence meme

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ecstasyhighway · 20 days

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You & I | E.Williams

chapter i

CW, ellie is a pervert here she watches the reader masturbate… there is smut towards the end guys (im not good at smut but i tried my best) masturbation (reader and ellie) , stalking, y/n is used

this might be straight cheese ngl…im not good at ts 😭 but enjoy ig

wc: 1.4k

read the prologue here ch 2

———————

“Hi! Hello”

A voice chimes from behind her, she turns around, and a lump forms in her throat.

it's…you.

Ellie quickly clears her throat and begins to talk, her eyes scanning your features. She is infatuated with you, you’re gorgeous, ethereal even…

“hi sorry how may I help you?”

“Yes, do you guys happen to have 21’s new album?”

you ask so sweetly, Ellie watches you speak, your oh-so-beautiful smile just making her want to fall to her knees. Ellie signals you to follow her, heading back to the rap section of the store, her eyes scan the shelves as she looks for the album, She reaches up and pulls out the ‘American Dream’ and hands it to you.

“This one?”

You smile and giggle a little, “Yes! this is exactly what I've been looking for… I couldn’t find it anywhere else I've looked all over thank you um…?” You trail off looking for a name tag, “..Ellie, thank you”

Ellie smiles, her face feeling warm, she knows she's red as fuck right now and her feeling embarrassed about it is just making her even more flustered “Y-yeah no problem, is that all? I can ring you up over here” She chuckles softly trying to cover the anxiety in her voice.

You and Ellie head towards the register, she rings you up and you hand her your card. Ellie examines your card trying to get your name, she needs to know, she knows nothing about you, just some things like you like 21 savage and Tyler. But that’s not nearly enough, she needs to know everything about you, things even you don’t know about yourself...

“y/n? That's a really pretty name” She smirks and takes a mental note of your first and last name, she will most definitely be looking you up later.

“oh thank you so much!” you say with joy in your voice, “I might come back another time, I uhh really like music and I really want to learn how to play an instrument so maybe I’ll see you again?” you ask so innocently, Ellie, on the other hand, was freaking out on the inside, she just thought you were so gorgeous and she needed to know more about you and she needed you to come back

“yeah, uhm I teach acoustic guitar, and piano so if you ever want lessons just show up, I'm here pretty much all the time, haha yeah this store is actually my life and-“ She cuts herself off realizing she's just rambling about nothing. “sorry yes you will definitely see me again” she is mentally cursing at herself for being such a nervous wreck in front of you.

“awesome, I’ll see you laters Ellie” and with that, you turn around and focus your attention on your phone, a message dings and you begin typing away. Ellie noticed this and is already feeling a certain way.. do you have a boyfriend? girlfriend? Are you single..? its okay she’ll figure all that out.

Once Ellie’s shift was over she went down to her music room. She sat there for a second and put on some jazz, she grabbed her laptop and began her long and tedious search, y/n l/n, she scrolled through the search page filled with many other y/n l/n’s. she stops. ‘bingo’ she thinks to herself, she found you ‘y/n.oncam’ on pretty much everything. Luckily all your accounts are public, unluckily she notices that you literally post your entire life on the internet, ‘do you know how many creeps are on the internet? oh once I have you to myself no one will be able to ever know anything personal about you’ she scoffs.

Here's what she knows, you’re 20, you’re single, you like to read, and you lovee music.. you live in an apartment with a big window.

Wait, she knows that complex, yeah she knows where that is, it's right across the street from the bookstore Dina works at. Shit Dina! Ellie forgot that she promised to bring Dina a limited edition 2Pac vinyl she had in storage. Ellie jumped up, grabbed her jacket, went to the storage to grab the record. She gets in her car and heads to Dina’s bookstore.

‘D are you still at work?’

‘yes’

‘I'm bringing the record rn’

*Dinabina like a message*

Ellie arrived at the bookstore, the words ‘Hidden Pages’ flickering softly as one of the letters had gone out. Ellie walks into the store and walks up to Dina, who is reading.

“D, I got the record”

“yayy thank you Ellie” Dina walks up to her smiling and gives her a hug “I’ll give it back as soon as I'm finished listening to it”

Ellie said her goodbyes and left the store.

She looks around trying to find the apartment, she found it. ‘Havenwood apartments’ She walks to the tall building and examines it and she spots the only big window, no curtains, lights on, and a woman's figure dancing around. She gets closer to the building, not too close but close enough to see into the window. Sure enough, it's you, dancing and singing, oblivious to the world around you, if you would just stop and look out of your window you would see Ellie, watching you closely, biting her lip and just enjoying the view of you.

You had gotten tired, turned off the music and began getting ready for bed. Oh, but that feeling between your legs was getting stronger, you tried to ignore it, you’ve been pent up and so busy lately, mostly because of work and shit. ‘Fuck’ you curse quietly to yourself and you head to your couch, you slip your hands down your pants and begin rubbing circles on your clit, dipping your fingers into your hole and gathering your juices to add more lubrication. Your eyes close and as you add pressure to your throbbing clit, you feel yourself bucking your hips for more friction. Fingers pumping in and out of your hole. Your other hand fondling your soft tits, adding more stimulation ‘mmph fuck’ The noises coming from your mouth are almost pornographic, your neighbors could probably hear you as the walls are thin. You feel yourself getting closer so you begin moving faster your mouth forming an ‘O’ shape “Mmpfh shit’m gonna cum fuckfuckfuckfuckfuck” You get that feeling in your stomach and let yourself go, your orgasm hitting you like a truck, you continue rubbing your clit riding out your orgasm, legs shaking from the overstimulation. Once you’re done you sit up and head to the bathroom to clean yourself up and you go to your bed to watch a show, you feel so comfortable and safe in the warmth of your bed so, you drift off into a slumber…

Oh but little did you know. You weren’t alone. Ellie saw what you were doing, she saw your most intimate moment and you didn't even notice you were being watched. Like she thought you were oblivious to the world around you, a normal person would sense another watching them, but not you…or maybe you knew she was watching and you put on a show for her and only her. Ellie’s hand reaches to unbutton her jeans, reaches her hand into her underwear, and begins rubbing her clit to the thought of you, your body, your pussy just begging to be touched by her, your soft tits and your skin needing to be marked by her…she needs you so bad.. just as she’s about to come undone. an elderly opens the door behind her, luckily Ellie had her back turned so the lady didn’t see her pleasuring herself to you. Ellie saw that the lady had many bags and offered to help her.

“Can you call a cab for me dear, they all just speed right passed me?” the woman asked kindly, and Ellie did what she asked, grabbing the cab’s attention and opening the door for her, all with a smile and her juices dripping down her thighs. The cab leaves and Ellie walks to her car.. “why were you touching yourself out in public while watching an oblivious girl masturbate..you’re so fucking weird.. fuck Ellie what the fuck, you need to be more careful, that could’ve not gone in your favor…” she whispered to herself, her cheeks red from embarrassment. She gets in her car and heads to her apartment….

——————————

idk what a tag list is but someone said “need to be in the taglist” and my gf said that means they wanna be tagged when the next part comes out so yeah

🏷️ @vqxen

#—ecstasyhighway #ellie smut #ellie williams smut #ellie williams #tlou smut #tlou2 smut #smut #lesbian #wlw #wlw smut #ellie x fem reader #ellie the last of us #ellie is so hot #i need her so fucking bad #nah imma do my own thing #ellie tlou #ellie tlou smut

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luveline · 1 year

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hii!! how are u??

i was wondering if you could write something with one of the marauders/ steve in which the r is wearing pimple patches and they mistake it for stichers so they roll with it and but a pack of stichers for r, who is all like “🌝 what”. idk if this is too confusing, sorry!! tysm <33

thank you so much! this idea was so cute and sweet 🥺 james x fem!reader

James is already unloading the plastic carrier bag of shopping when you reach him.

Sirius likes to joke that you and James are both like eager puppies when you see one another. James figures he isn't half wrong, and he couldn't care less, receiving your unbridled affection eagerly. Your arms are quick to hug his elbow, your lips dropping a smattering of dainty kisses up and down the outside of his bicep.

"Hullo," you murmur, "I missed you."

He preens at your touch. "I missed you too, trouble."

You reach out to right a tipped bag of mixed veggies and your hand skirts close to the bag, where James has left your stickers. He doesn't care if you have spots, honestly, but he's noticed that you stopped putting your stickers on top of them, and wondered if maybe you'd run out, so he'd picked up a new box while shopping.

"I have a small gift for you," he says.

"What is it?"

"I'm about to show you," he says with a laugh. He fishes the stickers from the bag, and leans his head on top of yours as he passes them over. "They only had shiny ones."

You accept them with a slow closing hand.

James holds his breath. "Wrong ones?"

"No, I mean, yes? James, what are they for?"

"Your face? You stopped putting them on, so I thought you'd run out. You know, you were putting them on your spots."

"Oh." You take a deep breath brimming with fond pity. "Jamie, thank you, but the ones I put on my face aren't stickers."

"Uh…"

You tap his shoulder. He turns to face you head, pleased when you tuck a curl behind his ear delicately. Your smile is transformative though small, a sorry, sweet sort of thing that makes him want to lean down and kiss it up into a grin.

"The ones for my face are called 'Dots for Spots'," you say gently. "They're like little blister plasters, I got them from the chemist. I'm sorry, I thought you knew."

He's embarrassed, sure, but that makes so much more sense. "Oh! Sweetheart, I thought you were– I think I've made a twat of myself."

"No," —you rub your hand down the side of his neck— "you haven't, of course you haven't, that's so sweet that you were thinking of me."

"Aren't I always?"

You snort. James isn't the type to lie in self pity, and instead cracks the seam on the plasters to pull out one of the sheets of metallic stars he remembers from his school days. You lift your chin, and he sticks a gold star over the small suggestion of a recurring spot, the one that gives you the most trouble. You look very cute, and you're very grateful, but he buys the real ones off the Internet that night for you anyways.

#james potter #james potter x reader #james potter x fem!reader #james potter fanfiction #james potter fanfic #james potter fic #james potter imagine #the marauders x reader #the marauders fanfiction #the marauders fanfic #the marauders

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nothorses · 1 year

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Aren't you the one with the weird ass misogyny kink

This is such a perfect example of how fucking stupid callout culture is, actually.

For context, nearly two years ago now, a few blogs known for picking fights & starting harassment campaigns picked a fight & started a harassment campaign against first one transmasc blogger, then a bunch of other transmascs they harassed about reblogging his post who either didn't respond to them, or who responded unfavorably.

I won't get into the nitty-gritty here, but I did elsewhere [1] [2] and so have a few other folks.

I wasn't the original person called out. I was tacked on after the fact because I didn't respond.

What I've been "called out" for since then is, essentially, a bunch of complete bullshit made up by people who are pissed off that I encouraged people to think critically about the callout posts they came across.

Even among those lies, my sex life, kinks, fetishes, whatever- none of it has ever come up. Because I don't engage with that online, I never have, and I never will, for exactly this reason.

Would you be surprised if I told you this wasn't the first time I'd been accused of the "crimes" that original person was accused of?

You probably shouldn't be! This shit happens all the time, and it's only a natural progression of the callout culture it all stems from: one person has some shit they said taken out of context and painted in a bad light by a vindictive and usually transphobic internet loser, everyone who doesn't publicly disavow them immediately and without question is guilty by association, and what reason do they have to defend this person anyway, except so they can get away with the same thing? They must be doing it too!

And this ask especially is phrased in such a blatantly manipulate way. There's no good way to answer this: either I say "yes, but" and people stop thinking or caring there, or I say "no, here's what really happened" and I look weak and dubious for defending myself at all. The accusation has been made, the question has been asked, and now everything I say is with the assumption that this is something I am responsible for proving or disproving.

It's stupid and pointless and it's all fucking made up. It's designed to run on instinctive disgust and outrage, and what better conduit is there for rage and disgust than trans people? Especially trans people who talk about being trans.

And even putting all that aside: who fucking cares?

Who cares if one dude gets off to some shit he, in real life, both suffers from and actively tries to combat? Why are you so concerned with the private sexual fantasies of one random internet stranger? Why is it so important to you that everyone in the world know what this one dude thinks is hot when acted out between two consenting adults?

Come off anon and tell me all your kinks, anon. Tell me every single thing you have ever been turned on by, everything you've masturbated to, and why. I want detailed notes. I want links to porn. If you've made art, written fanfic, roleplayed- I want to see it.

C'mon, if this should be publicly available knowledge, let's start with you. It shouldn't matter as long as none of it's weird or off-putting to anyone else, right? You don't need to hide anything, right? There's nothing there you'd be embarrassed about, nothing you'd rather keep private, right? So what's the hold-up, why haven't you done this already? Why are you on anon to begin with; what are you hiding?

If anyone's the "sex freak" or whatever, anon, it's you. Nobody fucking needs this information about anyone, especially if they aren't sexually involved with each other. It's a massive invasion of privacy, and much more importantly it is textbook sexual harassment.

Anyway. Hi, voc and w-oc. I should be more surprised to see you two in my inbox, but I guess yall are obsessive enough to respond to, literally, a couple of tags on one reblog containing undefined, contextless acronyms of your urls. Hope you talk to a therapist about that someday.

#harassment #callout culture #wont tag the acronyms here because I know that'll put it in tags- but like that post was a reblog anyway #so whats the deal. are they searching my blog for every variation of their urls and names every single day??#just... so fucking nuts. jfc.

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venbetta · 5 months

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Completely random thought and yes it's fnaf related

But I was thinking about how Toy Chica is so sexualized both by the fandom and in canon (...it feels intentional, alright). When I was younger and in the fnaf fandom (2014-2015), I never thought Toy Chica was hot or even that attractive, but of course seeing how everyone back then made that kind of art of her (and the other animatronics) at the time, I don't think I thought about it too much. I think I subconsciously understood that people are gonna sexualize everything on the internet, hence why rule 34 exists.

Plus I wasn't a furry at that age.

But now, I'm kinda like... it's so strange? I'm not judging, I literally find Glamrock Freddy (and the other glamrocks) hot- I'm a furry, lmao, but Toy Chica feels weird to me. I'm a lesbian and I find myself not finding her that sexually appealing, honestly (in a similar sense with Roxy and Glam Chica too). She's got "made for the male gaze" type of appeal that makes me kinda cringe a little.

She's that one "hear me out character," sort of the Lola Bunny type character that teen boys would be embarrassed to admit they have a crush on. Once again, I'm not judging, but honestly, I'm gonna look at her under a completely different lense

I came up with the conclusion that makes me like Toy Chica a little more and my personal headcanon; T. Chica is sapphic and for the girls.

She gives the vibe of being disgusted by men but loving women, that's just me. She'll eat a man for breakfast. I don't know how else to explain it.

#this is just an interpretation #and a headcanon sort of #I think Toy Chica is for the girls #fnaf #fnaf 2 #toy chica #rambles #ven speaks #fnaf headcanons

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thottybrucewayne · 4 months

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A LIST OF PEOPLE WHO ARE GOING TO HELL: 2024 EDITION

Every zionist, duh, but esp yall who screenshot perfectly reasonable posts and go "Um, the look at this idiot who thinks genocide is wrong" yall make my ass itch and nobody takes you seriously, MOVE. 2. The entire U.S. government but esp Joe Biden that old ass man gettin spit roasted in hell (AND NOT THE FUN KIND!) 3. DIDDY AND EVERY SINGLE PERSON THAT PROTECTED AND DEFENDED HIM. 4. Tory Lanez whole family, his mama, his daddy, his dog? All them. 5. The nonblack people who run those Rap House Tv type blogs that are clearly trying to be shade room clones. 6. People who get all their news from the Shade Room and Whatsapp, sorry auntie, I'm sick of you tellin' me COVID can be cured by sticking cloves of garlic up my nose :/ 7. Every single one of you dirtbag leftist ass people, yall do nothing for nobody except you thousands of adoring "former nazi" fans that need to be told it's okay that they still say the n word in private. 8. N.O.R.E and every single hiphop "journalist" 9. Charlemagne Tha God and Dj Envy, they know why. 10. Everyone who made Ike and Tina jokes after Tina past away. Grow up. 11. You fanfic girlies. So many of y'all are seeing the lake of fire, But esp if you donate to ao3 or own ao3 merch. Like, that is just embarrassing. 12. It's 2024, If I see you coming up here saying shit like "Miku wroke harry potter!" or " Hello Kitty wrote Ofmed, actually" I'm sending you to hell myself. 13. Booktokers? This is yall the second year on this list, tighten the fuck up and stop being weird about strange men on the internet, now. 14. People who do LITERALLY NOTHING yet try to tell other people how to be activists. You contribute nothing to any conversation you're a part of, suck my dick from the back. 15. People who stopped masking because other people were making them feel bad. Fuck your mama not being able to see your smile, PEOPLE ARE DYING???? 16. Lana Del Ray and Taylor Swift. They know exactly what they did. 17. Every white girl on twt who tried to jump me cause I said the Barbie movie is white feminism at its finest. 18. Elon, you raggedy bitch. 19. Every single man who hit on me this year who isn't one of my friends. 20. People who don't know what transmisogyny means and make that everyone else's problem. I need yall to start reading so bad it's not even funny. 21. You "goth is a feeling" people. You gonna be "feeling" that hell fire nippin' at your ass, NEXT 22. You 35 defending fanservice of high schoolers in anime/manga all day every day...yeah, just get on down there, big fella. They waiting on you. 23. Cishet Black men on tiktok and twt who make it their life's mission to make an ass of themselves for minor ducats. You are a one-man modern-day minstrel show and you will be dealt with. 24. White Tyler The Creator fans. Y'all know what you do.

Dishonorable mentions: Shojo fans who never talk about the fucked up shit in the manga they recc you because "At least its not as misogynistic as shounen!" (yes, yes it is) Fashion tiktokkers I hate so many of you its not even funny Every person who put the image of T.D. Jakes getting his doonies beat down at a Diddy party in my mind. Like I literally never needed to think about that. My dad <3 and all my friends' dads. Patricide NOW!!!!! People who are still whining about having to boycott shut upppppp god damn. People who stare at me in public. You got a fuckin problem?????

That's a wrap! Here are the lists from last year and the year before feel free to add more in the tags <3

#thotty speaks #thotty's going to hell list 2024 #thotty rants #tw abuse mention #ask to tag

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siriustaylorsversion · 1 year

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timothee chalamet x reader social media au

all that you ever wanted from me was, sweet nothing.

summary- you reveal your celebrity crush on the jimmy fallon show and the internet goes wild tagging him and telling him to make a move since his feelings are the same.

yourname.official

yourname.official tune in to watch me completely embarrass myself on the jimmy fallon show while talking about marvel, taylor swift, hamburgers and celebrity crushes at 8pm est... liked by taylorswift, vancityreynolds and 3,14,900 others.

taylornation she can make the whole place ✨shimmer✨ *liked by yourname.official

chrisevans Should we tag him?

yourname.official DON'T YOU DARE chrisevans hey, tchalamet robertdowneyjr something for you tchalamet chrishemsworth hey mate, tchalamet paulrudd is this a new trend? tchalamet scarlettjohansson guys, leave her alone.........tchalamet

yourname'sfan.forevermore as paul rudd said, hopping onto the trend tchalamet

haileesteinfield i'm on your team yourname.official but WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME?

yourname.official damn this is not how i thought this post would go...

yourname.official

yourname.official thank you everyone for tagging him! (i'm being sarcastic paulrudd) but at least you got us talking? liked by tchalamet, taylorswift and 2,80,999 others.

tchalamet to all who want to know... the way to get this girl is using taylorswift lyrics.

yourname.official facts. tchalamet what are you a rapper now? yourname.official LIL TIMMY TIM IN DA HOUSE. tchalamet forget i asked.

taylorswift i say that's my baby and i'm proud...

yourname.official I LOVE YOU. yournametaylorsversion HE USED YOUR LYRICS OMG

tchalametdaily

tchalametdaily guess who did the paps spot today in NY?

liked by haileesteinfield and 10,890 others.

yourname.forevermore SCREAMING.CRYING.THROWINGUP.

haileesteinfield is this how i'm gonna get information about you now youname.official... is it?!

timotheefanclub WAIT WTF IT HAPPENED ALREADY?

yournamefan.69 that's what she said?

tchalamet

tchalamet do you really wanna know where i was april 29th? hint: it was 8pm est... liked by yourname.official, chrisevans and 2,02,309 others.

yourname.official stop with the blondie lyrics.

tchalamet afraid you'll say yes? timmyfan WAIT WTF?! paulrudd I... what do you call it?? paulrudd ship! I ship! yourname.official paulrudd no one says that anymore, grandpa

yourname.forevermore I LOVE THIS. I LOVE YOU BOTH. I'VE FINALLY STARTED LOVING LIFE.

blakelively so... do we keep on tagging you in her posts?

yourname.official i love you, but NO

yourname.official

taylorswift can i keep her? happy birthday, my love 🩷 liked by tchalamet, joealwyn, yourname.official and 4,05,690 others.

yourname.official thank you for *everything*!

tchalamet is that a beautiful boy reference? yourname.official i told you i loved it.

blakelively happy birthday sweetheart!

yourname.official thank you!!! tell vancityreynolds you're the funnier one!!

tchalamet

tchalamet happiest birthday mon ange, thank you for all your support, love and just for... existing. wherever you stray i'll follow, here's to a new chapter in your life. liked by yourname.official, taylorswift, and 3,09,700 others.

comments on this post have been limited

yourname.official WOWZA you have a way with words. i cannot thank god enough that you're here in my life and i hope you know i'll be with you forevermore.

yourname.official

yourname.official thank you everyone for ALL the birthday wishes, i love you all a lot!!!!!!! manifesting for more happiness, strength and love till the next one!

liked by tchalamet, taylorswift and 5,06,690 others. comments on this post have been limited

tchalamet love the shirt!

yourname.official you would because it's YOUR gift.

taylorswift 🥺🖤

yourname.official it's you and me, that's my whole world.

spread love and kindness <3

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dumplingsjinson · 5 months

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Let me just uh, set some hard fucking boundaries with some of you people in regards to MY relationship.

Do not keep questioning my choices on MY relationship.

First of all, you're not in this relationship. Let me mess up and find out, if worse comes to worst. Let me fuck around and find out. I'm not going to blame you for not warning me, don't worry. Seriously. So stop questioning me.

Don't keep asking me, "Why don't you label things with him? I think it's bullshit that there are no labels. What's the POINT of this relationship if you're not labelled as such and such? You're just wasting your time. Stop that. It's weird. This doesn't seem right to me. Why call it exclusive if there's no labels?"

Let me fucking date how I want, damn. Let me be in a goddamn relationship how I want, without me needing to explain myself to you. You, who I don't even know. You, who's not even a mere acquaintance of mine. Even my friends aren't questioning me, so who are YOU to question me when you know virtually NOTHING about our relationship?

Why are YOU, as someone who doesn't know the full fucking picture, trying to enforce your rigid little rules onto ME? If you like labels and only commit strictly with someone once those labels are established, good for you! Do you!

But don't go on the internet, read the stuff someone shares (which doesn't paint the whole picture, mind you, because I'm not sharing my whole goddamn life biography on here) and then go running into their inbox and yell at them for their choices, or because their choices differs from yours. Don't do that because you don't KNOW them. Don't act like you know everything from the small details you've read. Yes, I share things on here, but only things I'm comfortable sharing. Surface level shit, basically.

What you think is normal isn't always someone else's normal. Please remember that.

The way some of you act in my inbox... It's embarrassing at best and disgustingly rude and kind of intrusive and also insulting at worst. And because you've got the anon feature on, you think you can just say anything. (That's a whole other rant I've been wanting to get off my chest. I've got a few drafts I've never posted that are from months ago lmfao).

Now, to tone down the aggressiveness for a fraction of as second, I get you care about me and it's probably coming from a good place, but I am TWENTY. THREE.

Let me remind you.

TWENTY THREE.

Not three.

Not thirteen.

TWENTY. FUCKING. THREE.

I can make my own decisions. I am a legal adult, probably moreso than some of you out here coming into my inbox and full on trying to start an interrogation with me like I did something wrong for wanting to do things MY way for MY relationship.

And SLIGHTING me for my choices is where I'm setting the hard boundary at.

DO NOT, and I repeat:

DO NOT...

...under any circumstances, come into my inbox and act like I'm a dumb fucking bitch. (I am a dumb fucking bitch, but I'm also a self aware dumb fucking bitch. There's a difference.)

I know what I'm doing, I know the consequences, I know what I'm in for. I'm not fucking stupid and naive. I'm not a 13 year old about to start her first relationship with her high school crush.

So stop treating me like a donkey, and stop questioning my choices. Remember, as harsh as this sounds, some of you need to hear this and REALISE this: You've got no place in my life to do that. Absolutely fucking none.

Learn to read the room and learn that there are lines that shouldn't be crossed.

OH, I need to add this here. Before some of you come into my inbox and ask me WHY I'm sharing shit if I'm not open to opinions on my choices... There's a difference between opinions and civil discussions, and crossing someone's boundaries and questioning their choices because you think YOUR way of doing things is the right way to do things.

Just because I share some stuff on here doesn't mean that warrants you an automatic pass to shit on my choices. Fuck that bullshit, because that's just shitty behaviour and you need to look inwards and realise you're doing a lot more harm than good by being a piece of shit to someone you essentially do not know.

Remember, if you won't say this shit to someone in real life while looking them in the eyes, then don't fucking say it on anon in some stranger's inbox. That's a dick move, and you're a prick if you do that. Fix yourself, for the sake of humanity.

That is all.

#long post #i've had had it up to here with some of you ngl #boundaries need to be set #long rant about some people in my inbox #rant #vent #i'm not adding a read more because i need some of you guys to read this whole thing #esp those anons sliding into my inbox and bitching about #don't go into my inbox and dress yourself up as anonymous so you can shit on my choices #i fucking hate that and i can tell you right off the bat if you do that #i do not want to be associated with the likes of you #i'm about to shame anyone who comes into my inbox after this and acts like assholes lmao #idc bc you deserve it if you read this and still continue to bitch about

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starleska · 4 months

Text

welcome to...starleska's f/o round-up 2023! 🥳🥳🥳

below the cut is every single character i've had a crush on in 2023...and there are 30 in total!! 🙈💖 these are given in chronological order of fixation, and they are all new crushes (so re-entering a fixation for a character i've simped for previously doesn't count 😂) now be warned, this is a genuinely unhinged list. they are largely villains. one is a mushroom. one is a vehicle. one is a casino-themed duck-shaped robot. my autism is indiscriminate in the characters it fixates on, and they are all suitably embarrassing 😭💖 without further ado, here we go...

1. James the Red Engine | Thomas the Tank Engine

...shut up 😂💖 at the start of this year i truly lost my mind and fell headfirst into the Thomas the Tank Engine fandom (everyone there is so lovely and creative!!)...and of course, the vain train is my favourite 🙈💖 James is cute okay!! i don't need to justify myself!!! 2. 'Big' Jack Horner | Puss in Boots: The Last Wish

there's no way anyone missed this one - we are quite the tight-knit and dedicated group in the 'Big' Jack Horner fandom 😳💖 come on, look at him...a huge, powerful, obsessive, fancy-bastard collector with an affinity for magic??? he's stunning 🥴💖 i made so many lovely friends through gushing about this horrible man!!! we had so much fun making OCs to ship with him 🙈 one of the most intense fixations i've had all year, and one of the best villains we've seen in years...he is fantastic 🥰 3. Pizzahead | Pizza Tower

i don't know what's in the water of Pizza Tower but it's impossible to be normal about any character you like from that game 🙈💖 of course the evil sentient pizza slice took the top spot, he's so cartoony and ridiculous!!! the amount of power he exerts is also quite the draw 🤭💖 i'm not gonna lie there's a couple other characters from this game i may get into later...we'll see 😉 4. Fingers | Dead End: Paranormal Park

have you heard this guy's voice. can you blame me. deliciously evil fruity monstrosity with supernatural powers? sign me up to whatever sinister scheme Fingers has going on now or in the future 👉👈 he hits a lot of boxes...between the cabaret-style makeup, the posh, dismissive and manipulative personality and the inexplicable Eldritch body, he was always gonna be a crush 🤭 5. M.O.D.O.K. | Marvel

wheeze okay, this was originally a JOKE!!! @thelighttasteslikelasagna sent in this message joking that i look like i'd find M.O.D.O.K. hot, and i was really angry about it for five minutes...and then i discovered the stop-motion cartoon where he's exactly the kind of cringefail malewife villain i enjoy (in the Augustus St. Cloud vein), and the rest is history 🙈💖 definitely one of the silliest crushes i had this year, but he holds a special place in my heart :3c 6. Gargamel | The Smurfs

nah man i was on some serious mental illness at the start of this year 💀 i just can't help it when bad guys are like this, alright!!! Hank Azaria's performance as Gargamel is sooo silly and over-the-top, i couldn't help but love every second he was on screen 🙈💖 Gargamel's just a whole lot of fun!!! who doesn't love a magic-wielding freak hellbent on the destruction of a group of little creatures?? (i cannot and will not be taking any questions at this time 😶) 7. Wally Darling | Welcome Home

my God, the Wally Darling fixation hit the entire Internet like a train 🤭💖 soft-voiced, ambiguously-moraled rizz puppet that he is, how could we not all fall head-over-heels? i have to thank this guy for throwing me headfirst back into fanfic writing, as the whole Welcome Home story really inspired me...not to mention all the lovely folks who wanted to imagine different ways of getting to hold Wally's hand 🥰 hooray for our pretty puppet boy!! 8. Killa Harkan | John Wick: Chapter 4

...yes, i know, it's funny that Killa's the first of two cartoonishly evil German-accented bad guys with sleight of hand tricks and gold teeth on the list this year 😂💖 sitting in the cinema, the second he opened his mouth my partner just turned and stared at me, because they knew. i refuse to apologise for appreciating a really awful bastard - especially one who dresses so sharply 😉 9. Ian Hawke | Alvin and the Chipmunks

yet another member of the 'it started off as a joke...' club 🤭💖 listen, Ian serves!!! we can't resist a smarmy music producer/manage type, can we? Ian's in the same camp as Gargamel for being a deeply evil man whose capacity for doing harm is directed at little creatures. all i'm saying is, he can sign me up for a dodgy deal any day 🥴 10. Myc Cellium | Inside Job

i can't tell if it's my monsterfucker tendencies or my consummate attraction to Brett Gelman but the crass sentient mushroom got me down bad 😭💖 he's just such a menace!! he's got that intoxicating combo of being horribly socially inappropriate and an actual outcast...fellas, Myc was fixation bait for me 😭 11. Klaus Kickenklober | Sing 2

i don't care if you think you're not a furry, someone can and will get you from the Sing franchise, and that is a threat 🙈💖 yesss laugh it up, Star's got another stern and vaguely European cartoon villain added to the list 😂 i just find Klaus so impossibly delightful!!! he'd be a terrible teacher to have in real life, but in fiction, i think i could fix him :3c 12. The Spot | Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse

ohoho, i know you guys were living for The Spot fixation because i remember your reaction to the x Readers 😉 look at him and his incredible design!!! the transformation of The Spot from weak laughable villain to reality-bending monstrosity had me by the throat...and i can't wait to see more of him when the next Spider-Verse drops 👀 13. Mad Mod | Teen Titans

MAD. BLOODY. MOD!!!!! i think our favourite British bastard has to take the crown (literally and figuratively) as my strongest fixation out of the whole of 2023, i lost my mind over this guy. he just consumed my every waking thought!!! 🙈 the style, the voice, the unbelievable engineering skill...Mad Mod is one of those once-in-a-lifetime f/os that you know you'll be obsessed with for a very long time 😳💖 i look back so fondly on those wonderful few months of Mad Mod fandom resurgence, and how that still continues today...here's hoping even more people find out about him and develop their own crushes 😉 shout-out to the lovely @iriso-page who suggested him and Music Meister to me 🙈💖

14. Control Freak | Teen Titans

sdfgdf okay back on form with the fat dweebs, i know, i know!!!! my ravenous Mad Mod fixation wasn't enough to ignore Control Freak, one of the most delightfully stupid villains in Teen Titans...!!! he hits all my buttons (ha!) and i genuinely think his design and powers are kind of epic. would love to see him utilised in the future 😉 (i am never beating the Discord kitten allegations...) 15. Ken | Barbie

well, this particular blond himbo was quite the surprise!! 🤭💖 i'm not usually the one to go for such a stereotypical hottie, but Ryan Gosling plays Ken as so unhinged and...off for the whole movie, he activated the same neurons which come with the weirdest of my crushes 🙈💖 Ken's a misguided sweetheart and i'd love to help him feel a little bit wanted;;; 16. Buck Ruffler the Duck Shuffler | Toontown: Corporate Clash

fell into the wonderful world of Toontown: Corporate Clash and imprinted on this fucker like...well, like a baby duck 😂💖 is this not the most spectacular design for an original Cog you've ever seen?! i love that Buck is an absolutely scrambled robot with a gambling addiction, and i think he'd be lovely (and hilarious) company 🥰

17. Barnaby | Billie Bust Up

ohhhh yesssss Billie Bust Up caught my attention with this sinister goofball!!!! fancy, flamboyant and very into murder...Barnaby has all the traits for any Tumblr Sexyman, and i cannot wait for the full game to drop so we can see even more of him 👀

18. The Mad Hatter/Jervis Tetch | Batman

Jervis Tetch my beloved!! this has been the year of fancy blonds in top-hats, as well as deeply silly hypnotists, and Jervis kicked off this trend with a bang 🙈💖 i'm a Mad Hatter fan generally but B:TAS Jervis is a special kind of pretty stalker, and that voice is delicious 🥴 thanks to him for kicking off an Alice in Wonderland fixation and for finally getting me into drinking tea...the things we do for our crushes, eh? 🥰 19. Music Meister/Darius Chapel | Batman

and here is the first character played by Neil Patrick Harris who made it onto this year's list!!! 🙈💖 another camp, theatrical Batman villain to add to my collection...gorgeous voice, such an immense sense of style, and wonderfully good fun!! i think more people should get a little obsessed with the Music Meister 😉 20. Buggy the Clown | One Piece

none of you can judge me for this one - i remember all the TikTok edits!!! 😂💖 Buggy is pathetic and so much fun - i wasn't expecting to enjoy him as much as i did!! although my fixation for him may have been short-lived, my love for him certainly isn't 🥰 21. Pat Butcher | BBC Ghosts

ohhhh, every now and again a little sweetheart will get me right in the feelings, and Pat Butcher is added proudly to my f/o collection as the second Yorkshireman (next to Salad Fingers 😭). i just love what an upbeat, lovely man he is!! he's so soft and warm to everyone he meets and tries his best to do everything right by his friends...i'd love to cuddle with him 🥺 22. Josh Levy | The Eltingville Club

a classic return to form with Josh Levy, à la Comic Book Guy and Control Freak...really telling on myself by collecting these horrible greasy nerds who would 100% call me something derogatory if i tried to talk to them 💀 i appreciate every last one of The Eltingville Club but Josh, as a failed writer who remains just as toxic as he was when he was a teen, is my undisputed favourite 🙈💖 23. Swan | Phantom of the Paradise

oh God, reawakening my crush on Paul Williams by discovering Swan damn near killed me!!!! 😭💖 i was so obsessed with this man as a kid and the moment i saw him as Swan in POTP i felt intense attraction and gender envy in equal parts;;;; Swan's whole aesthetic and demeaning, inhuman approach to people is impossibly sensual, and i can't overstate enough how little evil dudes in tinted shades will always get me down bad 🙈💖 24. Kinger | The Amazing Digital Circus

my love for Kinger was such a pleasant surprise!! 🤭💖 sweet, anxious fella that he is, all i want to do is get him out of that digital hellscape and ensure he can wrap up in as many blankets as he likes!!! i love his always-on-the-edge-of-a-breakdown portrayal and am so eager to learn more about him and his backstory 👀 25. Peter Gregory | Silicon Valley

ahhh, kicking it the old-fashioned way by getting extremely invested in the most autistic character on the show (and that's saying something, given the high neurodivergent coding of everyone in Silicon Valley 🙈💖). Peter's style and methods of communication are traits i simply find attractive in real life, and although he sadly wasn't with us long, he absolutely stole the show ✨ 26. 'Action' Jack Barker | Silicon Valley

given my love of nerds it's no shocker that Silicon Valley hit me with two f/os, and 'Action' Jack Barker - the tech-field Colin Robinson - was a surefire entry 😳💖 what is it about these milquetoast men who are so whitebread yet are capable of such terrible things which gets me every time?! Jack is such a fun character and i'm glad we got as much of him as we did 🙈 27. Avery | Pokémon: Sword and Shield

i cannot believe none of you guys told me about Avery, the most amazingly dressed character i've ever seen in the whole of Pokémon 🙈💖 shhhh he is so very pretty and petty and his powers are incredibly cool. i just love everything about him and would delight in helping him develop a real sense of self-esteem, because he does not deserve the dismissal he receives from his family 😭💖 28. Matthew Patel | Scott Pilgrim

oh my God, heart in my MOUTH seeing Matthew Patel get the glow-up villain arc he so desperately deserved!!!!! 😭💖💖💖 Matthew is just the epitome of style and power in Scott Pilgrim Takes Off, and it was so fantastic getting to see him grow as a character and get self-actualised. plus his fight scenes were some of the coolest things i've ever seen. Matthew can i have your number please 🥺 29. The Toymaker | Doctor Who

!!!!!!!!!! i don't know if you guys can tell, but i really love the Toymaker...and even predicted that he'd completely consume my mind months before we got The Giggle 🙈💖 e v e r y t h i n g about him just gets me so bad. his reality-bending, his teasing attitude, his ridiculous accents, his gorgeous costumes, his emotional inconsistency, his tragic backstory...god, if i so much as look at him smiling i melt 🥴💖 characters played by Neil Patrick Harris really get me!! i'm so proud to be modding a server dedicated to the Toymaker now, and have met so many brilliant, wonderful friends through him and falling back into Doctor Who!!! i think we're all going to be brainrotting over him for quite some time 😉💖 30. Dr Mark Fry | Chicken Run: Dawn of the Nugget

Dr Fry, rushing in at the finish line!!! 🤭 the second my pals saw this guys they were all spamming me, begging me to watch Dawn of the Nugget!!! and ooooh i was noooot prepared for the specific brand of soft creepy genius he is 💖 even if they'd played Dr Fry purely as your run-of-the-mill mad scientist he would've gotten me bad, but they just had to make him equal parts freaky and brilliant with just a touch of arrogance, didn't they?? Melisha scored well 🤤 (also, three whole Yorkshiremen in my collection now!! is it the accent? 😭) aaaaand that's everyone!!! phew, is anyone else out of breath? 🥵 what a wonderful, silly year of fixations this has been 🤭💖 thank you all for being here, brainrotting happily alongside me for some of these characters, and for all the other characters you love!!! i hope 2024 is awesome to you, and that many more fictional characters are around the corner, ready to make you smile 😉

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earthtoharlow · 1 year

Text

Flashing Lights

Jack Harlow x SingerOC

Series Masterlist

02) Second Chances

Jack walked into his apartment, and placed his keys on the kitchen counter before walking towards the fridge for a bottle of water. The last couple weeks have been jammed packed, between making multiple appearances and long nights at the studio he barely had time to catch his breath.

Tossing his phone on the coffee table and kicking his shoes off, Jack melted into the comfort of the couch with a soft sigh. Happy to be sitting down after a long day. He reached over to grab the remote, deciding to flip through the channels to find a movie. After not finding anything good to watch, he figured he would watch The Tonight Show since that was the only thing on.

Jack didn’t know if it was his lack of sleep or what but Jimmy Fallon’s jokes were actually hitting tonight. He did always enjoy the thank you notes segments. Jack sat up a little straighter when he heard Jimmy announce the first guest of the night. “I’ve been wanting to meet this talented individual for awhile now, and she’s finally here. Please welcome, first time Grammy winner, Maryse Monet!”

Jack watched as the curtains opened and Maryse’s beautiful smile spread across his TV screen. He couldn’t help but notice how beautiful she looked with her half up half down hairstyle with her curls bouncing as she walked across the stage to Jimmy. Maryse wore a simple black mini dress paired with boots but she looked as beautiful as ever. Jack leaned in closer to the screen with his elbows on his knees, ready to learn more about her.

“Welcome to the show, I’m so happy you’re here! This is your first talk show!” Jimmy says as he leans against his desk.

“Yeah! Kinda crazy when you think about it, so thank you for having me on!” Maryse replies with another smile, and waves to the audience in front of her as they cheer.

“Of course, of course! I can’t have you on here and not congratulate you on your first ever Grammy!” Jimmy tells her and claps along with the crowd. Maryse covers her face shyly, trying to hide her blushing.

“Seriously, thank you guys so much. It still feels like a dream that I hope I never wake up from.”

“And who would I be if I didn’t bring up what happened as you were going on stage to accept your award.”

“Oh what? Me, almost embarrassing myself!” Maryse said with a laugh.

Jimmy tries to hold in his laughter, and nods “Well, yes! Here’s the clip!”

Jack relaxes into the couch again as they play the clip. He watched as he could be seen quickly walking towards the stage to help Maryse before she fell. He was glad he was able to reach her in time. The video turns back to showing Maryse with her head down in her lap, and Jimmy laughing. “I think my favorite part was your facial expression as you were about to fall.”

“Yeah, I think the only thing that was running through my head was “oh my god I’m about to eat shit in front of Beyoncé!””

Jimmy's head falls back in laughter before he reaches over and peeks over his desk. “I see you’re still wearing heels so it couldn’t have been that bad!”

Jack goans a little as he watches Maryse raise her leg up to show off her heeled boots.

“To be fair, these heels are a lot thicker than the shoes I was wearing to the Grammys!”

Jimmy nods before telling Maryse she had a point.

“This clip has gone viral on the internet! They’re literally going crazy over Jack Harlow rushing over to save you. He’s so great, I love that guy!”

“Yeah, I honestly should send him a fruit basket or something to thank him.”

Jimmy nodded in agreement. “You definitely should! One of the biggest rappers in the world right now saving the day!”

Maryse leans against the chair. “My friends made sure to tease me before congratulating me that night.” She says with a shake of the head.

“Yeah, we actually have your Instagram post that you posted after the Grammys.” Jimmy reached behind his desk to pull out the cardboard with your instagram post on it.

“There’s Doja Cat reminding you about you tripping…”

Maryse leaned over the armchair to point at her comment. “Can I just add that she replied to this while sitting right next to me!”

Jimmy laughed again. “But my favorite part of this post was Jack Harlow himself commenting that he'd be your hero anyday!”

Jimmy and the live audience dramatically awed at Jack’s comment. Maryse couldn't help but smile.

“Did you guys speak after the fact?” Jimmy asked.

“No! I’m so upset about it! After I left the stage, I was dragged around doing interviews so I never saw him again to thank him. Not a lot of people know this but I recently got into his music and it’s amazing. I’m a huge fan!”

“Oh man! We gotta get you guys to meet! It’s only right!”

Maryse looked towards the camera. “Jack Harlow, if you’re ever in town please contact me! I’ll treat you to lunch.”

Jack's breath hitched in his throat. Maryse was starting so intensely into the camera he felt like she was actually standing in front of him.

“If you get any closer to the screen, you’ll be kissing it.”

Jack jumped and dropped the remote at the sound of Urban’s voice behind him.

“Fuck! Man what are you doing here?!” Jack rubbed a hand over his face, before placing it over his chest to rest his fast beating heart.

Urban jumped over behind the couch and plopped down before giving him a weird look. “I live here.” He said with a shrug.

“not for much longer, if I got anything to do about it.” Jack mumbled.

Jack watched as Jimmy went to the commercial. Annoyed that Urban interrupted him watching the rest of the interview.

“I don’t understand why you’re still sitting here and not immediately calling her.” Urban questioned him.

Jack rolled his eyes at his best friend. “Now why would I do that?”

“Dude, I know I’m high, but I’m not that damn high. She just got on national television and asked you out. She’s bold as hell. Besides, now’s the best time to do it. There wouldn’t be any awkwardness since she got that out the way when she tripped.” Urban shrugged once more before handing Jack his phone off the table in front of them.

“I don’t even know her number.” Jack told him. “My brother, it is not the 90s you can slide in her dms and get it from her. Plus, is it not half of Neelam’s job to get important peoples numbers for you. She’s not doing her job correctly!”

Jack ignored him as he pulled up to Maryse’s Instagram dms and typed out a message.

“Wait, it’s bootycall hours. I’ll send the dm in the morning.” Jack said.

Urban snatched the phone from Jack before pressing send on the DM before Jack could stop him. “Oh man, you got it BAD. When have you ever cared about any of that!”

Jack huffed before taking his phone back. Jack isn’t scared to admit that Maryse was taking up real estate in his mind since that night at the Grammys. He played that moment over and over in his head. Maryse was beautiful, with an even more beautiful voice. Now after hearing that she was a huge fan, he was dying to meet her properly.

“I just don’t want to mess things up before we even meet.” Jack said running a hand through his messy curls

“You dming late is not going to ruin anything, she probably won’t even see till morning anyway.” Urban said as he stood up from the couch and patted Jack lightly on the shoulder.

“Now, you just reminded me. It is demon hours, and I’ve got some ladies to call.”

“Sick freak!” Jack yelled over his shoulder at Urban

“Yeah yeah, call me whatever you want.”

LIFEOFMONET

liked by dojacat, hallebailey, milaj, natewilliams, easymoneysniper, druski, Ciara and 378,045 others

lifeofmonet: What a time. Thank you @jimmyfallon

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user: girl you find as he’ll I won’t u

user: you shooting your shot to jack 🫢

user: pick me, choose me, love me

user: step on me!!!

lilnasx: A STAR!

saweetie: DON’T HURT EM TOO BAD!!

user: need new music bad 😫😫

user: bitch you baaaaad!

user: I know Nate screaming and crying

Maryse groaned out loud at the name that just popped up in her phone. Her ex boyfriend Nate was calling her again. Ever since he found out she moved back to New York after leaving to live with Saweetie in California for a year after the break up he’s been calling her multiple times a day.

Nate knew Maryse like the back of her hand. He knew she would always have a weak spot for him. No matter what. That’s the main reason why Maryse stayed in the relationship for so long. She was sick of giving him second chnaces. It hurt having to break up with the guy she thought she was going to spend the rest of her life with. She refused to keep setting herself on fire to keep him warm.

When her phone rung again for the fifth time in a span of 15 minutes, she decided to answer.

“What do you want, Nate.” Maryse was sick of this. It was one o’clock in the morning. She could hear the shuffling of the phone in the background and loud music playing.

“Damn girl, I can’t even get a hello” Maryse could hear the slur of his voice. Letting her know he was drinking.

“No, you can’t, where are you? I can hardly hear with the loud music playing.” Maryse had to pull the phone away from her ear before it busted her eardrums.

“Come pick me up baby! The boys and I just went out for a few drinks before hitting a few clubs.” Nate says into the phone, she could hear him a little better now. She assumed he walked outside.

“I can’t come and pick you up, and you know that.” Maryse sighed with regret. Wishing she never picked up the phone.

“Damn, a bitch wins a Grammy and she start acting real Hollywood.” Nate cursed into the phone.

“Don’t call me again, Nate. You can go to hell with gasoline draws on.” Maryse hung up the phone, not giving him a chance to reply back.

“Stupid muthafucka.” She mumbled before throwing her phone down.

Maryse grabbed her extra pillow before placing it on her head and let out a muffled scream. Talking to Nate always puts her in a bad mood. Nate brought out the worst in her.

Maryse felt her phone chime, informing her that she had an incoming message.

“I swear to god, if that’s his bitch ass again…” Maryse says under her breath as she sat up in her bed to see who the message was from. Her eyes widened when she saw it was a DM from Jack Harlow himself.

Maryse flipped over on stomach and kicked her feet up in the air. Her stomach was doing front flips reading his message to accept her offer for lunch. She wasn’t expecting Jack to respond so fast, or even at all. Maryse immediately messaged him back. “Thank god, I’d have been super embarrassed if you turned me down!” It was 2am, so she wasn’t expecting a response until morning the earliest so Maryse was shocked when Jack replied back so quickly.

“I mean, I’d be an idiot if I turned down free lunch.” Maryse laughed at his response, as she was typing a response, another one came in. “I’m back in my hometown right now recording my second album, but I’ll be in New York next week for a couple meetings, will you still be in town?”

Maryse was starting to get giddy at the idea of hanging out with Jack. Quickly texting him back that she would still be in town. “Send me your number and we can talk details later this week!”

"hopefully, not during bootycall hours" Maryse laughed when all Jack sent back was the facepalm emoji.

As soon as Maryse got his number she immediately texted him how she couldn’t wait to meet him properly and wished him a good night. Maryse went to bed that night with a smile on her face.

------------------------------------------------------------

Maryse was in the studio sitting behind a piano with her songbook beside and microphone in front of her. She slowly starts pressing her fingers against the keys and starts singing.

“No more second chances, chances, Always tryna take advantage, 'vantage. I can't give him no more chances, chances So I'd rather walk away. It'd be wrong for me to stay, 'Cause that means you got your way.”

“That sounded great Maryse, that should be perfect for the chorus. Let’s take lunch and come back with you hopefully having at least verse one done.” Howard, her producer said from the control room, giving her a knowing look and leaving the studio.

Maryse sighed before pulling her headset off. She had verses written, she just felt like the song was missing something. Walking out the booth she grabbed her phone deciding to catch up on the outside world before she got back to work.

Turning her phone back on, she noticed 2 missed calls from Jack. Maryse immediately started to panic. She was supposed to meet him for lunch 15 minutes ago. Maryse cursed out loud before quickly calling him back.

Jack answered on the first ring thankfully, she spoke before he could even say hello. “Jack, oh my god I’m so so sorry. I’ve been stuck at the studio all morning trying to finish this song and I completely lost track of time! I understand if you never wanna speak—“

“MARYSE!” Maryse got silent as Jack cut her off.

She could hear him laughing lightly chuckling in the background. “It’s fine, I promise. I get it, I’m also in album mode.”

Maryse sighed in relief. She still felt like the biggest asshole. She opened her mouth to apologize again before Jack cut her off once again.

“Don’t apologize again!”

“You didn’t even let me get it out!” Maryse exclaimed.

“Are you still at the studio?” Jack suddenly asked her.

Biting her lip Maryse replied that she was indeed still at the studio and would probably be for the rest of the day.

“Well, I cleared my whole day out to hang out with you, so how about you send me your location and I’ll pick us up some lunch and I’ll head over there to you?” Jack suggested.

“You’d really still want to hang out with me?” Maryse questioned. She couldn’t believe that she basically stood him up and he was still willing to meet her, even if it’s at the studio.

“Yeah why wouldn’t I? Now, drop me the pin!” Jack hung up the phone before Maryse could even reply back.

------------------------------------------------------------

Jack couldn’t wipe the smile off his face watching Maryse laugh at his story. “Wait wait, so let me get this straight! You walked into the school's auditorium, got up on stage and performed Fergalicious?!”

Jack nodded, covering his mouth as he chewed his food. “Yeah, I was grabbing my crotch and everything! Honestly, looking back I’m shocked I didn’t get in more trouble.”

He watched as Maryse started to calm down from her laughter. Wiping the tears that had fell from her eyes from laughing so hard. “God, that’s freaking hilarious! The only thing to do now, is to make that principle eat their words and make a song with Fergie.”

“That would be a dream come true.”

“Manifest that shit, it’s gonna happen one day and I’ll be in the audience cheering my ass off when y’all perform it! I won’t even say “I told you so” Maryse said, giving Jack a smile.

Jack returned the smile and reached over and grabbed her notebook on the table in front of them. “Now, your manager CoCo said I could only stay to hang out if I helped with this track so let’s see what you got.”

“It’s a rough draft so sorry for all the scribbling on the pages.”

Jack responded without even looking at her while still reading the lyrics. “You don’t have to explain anything to me.”

“This is really good, but I see what you’re saying about something being missing.”

Jack watched as Maryse groaned in frustration next to him. “I think I’m just going to take a break and work on another song.”

Jack started shaking his head at her. “Absolutely, not. I think the song just needs a male perspective.” He reached in his pocket to grab a pen about to start writing in her notebook, before his pen hit the paper he stopped himself. “My bad, I’m just taking over. Is it okay if I write something?”

He watched as Maryse sat up and excitedly nodded her head. “YES! Go ahead!”

Jack was surprised at how fast it took him to write his verse. After 15 minutes he was pretty much done. He got Maryse’s attention, who was playing around with some chords on her guitar.

“You’re done already? That was quick!” Maryse questioned

Jack simply just shrugged. “I really like the song and relate to it, so it came easy to me.” Jack walked into the booth and placed the headphones on and signaled for her to play the song. He loved hearing her raw vocals, so many artists these days used much autotune, it was a nice change. Jack started rapping as her chrous stopped.

Yeah

Second chances they don't come, so I be real

Walking out on me is just a hard-to-swallow pill

Told her I would speak my mind and always keep it trill

But still I can't pull short, no, that was not part of the deal

I know how to be accountable for everything I've done

Do you wanna walk with me? Just say the word and you can run

Away from everything we built, oh yeah, I know I fucked up once

And it's bad, so I can't front

Guess I'll just smoke this blunt, yeah

Jack took the headset off and nervously ran his hands through his curls. Maryse had gone quiet and was just staring at him.

“Was it that bad?” Jack joked. He watched as she shook her head, seemingly coming out her trace.

“Are you kidding me? That was insane!” She made the mind blown motion with her hands. Jack could tell she was getting excited because she was bouncing on the tips of her toes and couldn’t stop talking with her hands. He wished he could take a picture of the expression on her face without her knowing. It was the perfect mix of wonder, admiration and astonishment.

Jack was happy he decided to visit her at the studio today. When she didn’t show up at the restaurant he was disappointed and a little embarrassed so he was glad that she called and explained what happened. Jack had a feeling Maryse Monet was going to become a huge part of his life.

“Hello, Jack! Are you listening to me?” Maryse questioned him with her hands on her hips.

Jack couldn’t help but think she looked adorable.

“Yes, now I have an idea…what if at the end of the track we ended it with me leaving a voicemail?”

“Shit, that’s fire! And you were definitely not listening to me.”

LIFEOFMONET just posted a story!

AN: they finally meet properly! 🤭 let me know what you all think. The song in the chapter is called Second Chances by Kiana Lede (ft. 6LACK) amazing artists who you should check out :)

Tag List:

(message me if you'd like to be added or removed)

@heavyhitterheaux @hoodharlow @neon-lights-and-glitter @babiefries @toocriticalharlow @mace23477 @jackmans-poison @dstark-0706 @harlowsbby @itsyagirljaz @leftapricotprofessorlover @laylasbunbunny @ilyangelsxo @comehomeimissyou @minkookie95

#jack harlow #jack harlow x reader #jack harlow x y/n #jack harlow reader #jack harlow instagram au #social media au #jack harlow social media au

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fangirlisms13 · 1 year

Text

Paper rings { jack champion x f!reader }

I hate accidents except when we went from friends to this <3

Synopsis: Jack and you have been friends for a little over a year . Paper rings were their inside jokes, but what if it wasn't just a joke but real.

Cw: NONE 🤭🤭 just straight fluff, that's it bcs as much as I like angst I can't write it what so ever ✊️✊️

It was the scream six premiere and I was going with my life long childhood best friend jack! Everyone looked amazing but I couldn't help but feel a tad out of place! I mean these are FAMOUS people!!!!

We watched the movie, and it was so weird seeing Jack evil and also getting stabbed. We were on our way to the after party when I started messing with my small paper ring jack had made me a year ago.

" y/n meet Jack! " my friends say high off their mind. I laugh and shake his hand! " hi I'm y/n sorry about our mutual friends they take having fun all night to the literal definition! " I say as he laughs at our friends.

The moon is high. Like your friends were the night that we first met

I left a little after that and immediately searched up " jack," and what popped up was " jack champion " on Instagram and everything else. My friend follows him, so he must be the one ( a/n : hehehe t.s )

Went home and tried to stalk you on the internet. Now I've read all of the books beside your bed

" What are you thinking about y/n ? " I hear devyn ask with concern in her voice. " Oh, sorry ! Nothing important, don't worry !! " I say soothing her when Jenna pipes up," probably about jAaAaAcK, " she says in a sing-song voice. " Oh shut up, Jenna," I say, defending myself. But she wasn't wrong. I wanted to he his. He's the one I want, but I don't if I'm the one he wants.

I mean, sure, we played cat and mouse for a month or two or three, but I couldn't remove the thought that you just wanted to be friends. I wish I could just be next to him all the time.

Cat and mouse for a month or two or three. Now I wake up in the night and watch you breathe

I just want to kiss him one two three times, but I will hold off on that till we confess. " Oh yeah, she's definitely in love with Jack," Jasmine says, breaking my thoughts that were indeed about him. " Who's in love with me?" I hear that oddly familiar voice say. I jump and give Jasmine a look . That " Shut the fuck up before I murder you " look and the girls all giggle while jack looks at me confused. " anywyas y/n I actually need to tell you something real quick! " everyone does their 2nd grade " oooohs " at this.

Kiss me once 'cause you know I had a long night. Kiss me twice 'cause it's gonna be alright.Three times 'cause I've waited my whole life

" Okay now that we're alone I've been meaning to tell you something but I don't know how to say this so sorry if it's not the best but, I really like you and I wanted to know if you'd be willing to go out on a date and maybe perhaps be my girlfriend?" He says as fast as he could. I just squeal. Embarrassing, I know, but HELLO ??? The jack champion likes ME!!!! " Oh no, okay, I'm sorry about that -" he rambles. "Jack, just shut up and kiss me." And with that, he does :)

" is that a yes?" I laugh " jack I would marry you with paper rings of course it's a yes! "

I like shiny things, but I'd marry you with paper rings. You're the one I want. I hate accidents except when we went from friends to this Uh huh Darling, you're the one I want

A/n : I LOOOOOVEEEE LOVEEERRR!!!! Also, I really enjoyed this one!!!!! I know it's not a lot, but I have zero motivation, so!!!

#Spotify #fluff #scream 6 spoilers #scream 6 imagines #jack champion #jack champion x reader #taylor swizzle #taylor swift #i love taylor so much

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frownyalfred · 28 days

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I want to start writing fanfiction and have so many ideas, but the moment I sit down to write I am overwhelmed by a wave of self-consciousness lol. I have not done any creative writing of any kind for almost a decade now.

Is that familiar to you? Any advice on how to get over myself?? Literally no one but me can see it yet and and I still feel embarassed :')

Self consciousness/embarrassment can be such a tricky mental hurdle. I usually ask myself, are there people I respect or look up to who do this? And do I judge THEM for doing this? The answer is almost never “yes.”

So why am I being so harsh to myself? Would I tell my good friend not to write a/b/o because it’s cringe? Would I message my writing buddy and tell them they should feel bad for writing 10k of super fluffy self indulgent soulmates? Hell no!

It’s the internet, and we’re largely anonymous on ao3/tumblr. No one is going to show up at your house to judge you. The only person who even has the right to do so is YOU. And what use is putting yourself down for something no one else can even see?

Write the thing. Acknowledge the shame or guilt or embarrassment and try to figure out why it’s coming up, but don’t let it make decisions for you. If you’re opening the doc, if you have the ideas bouncing around you head, then clearly a part of you wants to do this! And that’s not a bad thing at all.

#asks #anon #writing #writing things

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stevebabey · 1 year

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Hi hi hi!! Congratulations so much on your milestone! I haven’t been following for very long but you are one of my favorite Steve writers, bar none. Thanks for sharing your writing with the internet 💖

📽 If I may step behind the beaded curtain of Family Video…

Post-battle, one of the many you’ve shared with Steve, and you just want to stop thinking. Thinking hurts, especially when you think about the fact that you almost just lost each other!! Steve is being lovey and sweet and altogether way too nice while you make out so you bite his lip, ruck your hands through his hair, roll your hips a little harder. He lets you flip him underneath you, but it’s still not enough, so you’re pulling at his mouth and fisting his shirt in ur hands and avoiding eye contact bc if you cry that’s it, it’s over, he won’t fuck you like you want it. But of course he notices, and tries to soothe you, “baby baby honey. Please. Shhhh. Talk to me” with kisses on your cheeks and petting at your hair and worry creasing his brow. And godammit if he doesn’t make you talk to him like a healthy adult who processes their feelings 🙄 before eating you out while holding ur hands for comfort. And maybe he doesn’t fuck you like you want it, but definitely how you NEED it. He always knows 🥺

(I’m sorry if that’s too long I just got so excited to share this and talk with you and if it’s not your style I totally understand and congrats regardless!!!!)

anon u came to the RIGHT place for some tender loving sex i am ALL for that shit!!! also hello!!!! i’m so very pleased to have u here!! u make me blush honey, and yes indeed come behind da beaded curtain hehe - also DAMN i do not know how to shut up apparently, i sat down to write this, fixed myself a g&t and clearly went a bit insane <3 hope u love! 18+ content below the cut MDNI

maybe it’s a bit too much of a close call this time, or it’s just that you’ve been here too many times but either way your nerves are frayed tonight— and the solution lies in steve’s arms. there’s something bout the skin-to-skin that soothes one part of you entirely while setting another part aflame- you love him and you nearly lost him tonight and it sets you about with a burning desire, nearly delirious in how his lips feel against yours, how he feels pressed against you when you grind in his lap and clutch at his shirt- you’re tugging at the fabric but don’t even pause your kisses for a moment, just try to tug it up and off. it’s the first sign to steve that tonight is different, that you’re needier than usual. he murmurs his assurances of love, soft and low, “it’s alright, honey,” he mumbles between the heated kisses, “we’re both alright, we made it out,” and he gives what you want, his shirt off and then your own

but he’s being soft, all delicate and caring with you and normally you adore that- the sweet lovebites scattered along your neck that’ll be gone by morning- tonight, instead it feels like you’re treated like glass, like in your mind maybe he’s still preparing to say goodbye in some twisted final way — so you use your hands to press him down, knees straddling his waist and try your best to let the message sink in; if he fucks you rough, it’s like none of the hurt of tonight happened, like the shit you went through didn’t happen at all. hands in his hair, hips rolling down sinfully and pulling groans from his throat, you reattach your mouths and desperation pours from your lips- you don’t want to slow down, to think about what you’ve both barely escaped and agonisingly, steve can tell — his hands grasp your face and halt your kisses but the moment you pause, you won’t look at him, can’t look at him. suddenly you’re embarrassed and steve is all quiet murmurs, “hey, hey, honey, what’s this? what’s going on with my girl?” and his nose nudges against yours, encouraging u to answer and your voice is smaller than ever as you give some pititful excuse, some line that usually riles him up, “just wanna feel you, stevie, just wanna fuck you,” and you grind down on him

steve knows you better than that though and though he hisses, pleasure spiking at the grind you give, he moves his hands to stop your hips- the movement they pause, his hands climb up and cradle your face as his features give away his worry. there’s a terrible furrow in his brown, eyes pooled with concern and he pulls you close, dozens of kisses against your cheeks, your nose, your forehead as he murmurs to you, “honey, please, talk to me,” and you do exactly what you’d been trying to avoid, fat tears welling in your eyes and shit, now you’re crying but it’s like it’s exactly what steve’s expecting — his arms are ready to hold every piece of you together while you cry shakily, whispered fears and confessions of love he’s already heard before and steve listens to it all- his kisses take your tears and when you calm, fear finally taking the back burner in your mind and breathing normal, he’s ready n waiting for you. “d’you want to just sleep?” he checks, lovingly and your shaking your head no quickly; you weren’t lying before, there’s an itch under your skin that can be sated only by his touch. steve doesn’t seem surprised but rolls the both of you over, kissing you with a bit more fervour now that he knows you’re truly alright - then he’s moving down the bed, kisses against your collarbones, down your sternum and when you voice your confusion steve’s raspy voice just says, “shh, it’s alright, lemme take care of my girl, yeah? you gonna let me take care of you?” his rough hands are already teasing the inside of your thighs so you can’t help but sigh out a yes

and he does take good care of you, one hand intertwined with yours as the heat of his mouth works your cunt, drawing whines and whimpers out- you’re clutching his hair and feeling hot in your skin, squeezing his hand as steve whispers his praise to you, “that’s it, so good f’me, doing so well,” until you’re spilling over the edge and quivering beneath his touch- but steve’s not done and he can tell you aren’t from the look in your eye. he’s somehow managed to melt away an extra layer of stress that you only notice in its absence so when he kisses back up your tummy and stretches you nice on his cock, you keen and melt into him, completely unwound— steve’s just as he was in the beginning, soft and sweet, all i love you’s scattered between the moans but you can tell know this is exactly what you need. you’re chest to chest and only trying to get closer, fingernails clawing at his back- you’d crawl into his skin if you could- and steve fucks you through it perfectly and you somehow come apart at how he just knows — he knows you, knows what you need and when to give it to you and that’s a kind of love you don’t think you’ll ever get used to- it’s a flurry of rushed kisses and sweet words, steve urging you with a rasp to cum with him, pleading and whimpering into your neck until you both come undone. you fall asleep in his arms to the ghost of a kiss in your hair

#it's tender loving sex and yet: no one look at me #maybe he doesn’t fuck you like you want it but definitely how you NEED it. He always knows #WHAT A PROMPTTTTT #its true i wanna be fucked like that omg #mdni #this was a delicious thought anon thank u for sharing #ruby writes steve #stevie drabbles!#steve harrington x reader #steve x reader #steve harrington #steve harrrington x you #ruby's very own tour of hawkins #as emma was the one who first pushed me to write smut now every time i write anything smut related im like EMMA!! LOOK! LOOK I DID IT! AGAIN #hehehe

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