#yes I know this movie came out seven months ago but I just saw it now so suck my ass

[sp0o0kylights]

 Part Five Part Two / Part Six YOU ARE HERE. / Part Seven

A03

"No come back here and hug me dammit!"

"I told you it'd be funny." Gareth stage whispered to Steve the following Monday, as Eddie proceeded to cause his usual amount of chaos in the lunchroom.

Tiff just shook her head.

"Come on, just do it and then tell everyone I'm better!" Eddie shrieked again, loud enough to be heard across the school. Possibly into the parking lot, given the winces and glares their peers tossed Eddie's way.

Jeff had his own head in his hands having been Eddie's prior cuddle victim and still suffering the consequences from it.

"I hate you." He groaned, and every single person knew he was talking to Gareth. "I cannot believe you told him his stupid hugs didn't even compare to Steve's. He almost broke my back this morning!"

Which wasn't an understatement--Gareth himself had dodged his best friend's aggressive hugs only by bolting to his first class, then acting like a ninja as he snuck about all day.

He'd even dropped to the floor and army-crawled at one point.

Now he stayed close to Steve, blatantly using the jock as a meat shield.

"Anyone have any ideas on how we can get him to chill out?" Stewart asked, from where he'd taken refuge under the lunch table.

Their second eldest member put up with many things, but drew the line at bodily injury by overly affectionate metalhead.

"Same as always." Jeff grumbled, making sure Gareth saw his glare. "We wait him out."

"Tiff!" Eddie whined, whirling around, hands reaching out for her.

"You touch me Munson and I'll burn the trigonometry notes I promised you." Tiffany threatened without looking up from her book.

"Fine." Eddie wheeled right back around. "Graaaaant-!"

"This could take days!" Stewart complained, acting like a man caged. "I can't wait much longer!"

'Dramatic, the whole lot of them.' Gareth thought fondly, knowing he was just as bad.

"Okay. Seriously, how are we fixing this?" Jeff said sourly, as Grant once again picked Eddie up by his jacket and bodily threw him as far away as he could.

Like an eldritch being from a B horror movie, Eddie simply bounced back up and came for him again.

"His issue is that he thinks I'm the better cuddler, right? Nothing else?" Steve said thoughtfully.

"Yes." Groaned the other four in unison, as Grant laid a hand on Eddie's forehead, the latter pinwheeling his arms like a cartoon character.

Steve nodded once, before his face morphed into something devastatingly smug. "Yeah we're screwed."

Jeff switched targets from Gareth to glare at Steve instead. "Really Harrington?"

"I'm back to Harrington now? Jeff, man, you wound me." Steve faked a gasp, putting a hand over his heart.

It made Gareth grin, if only because Steve wouldn't have done that a month ago. "God I love when you're a bitch."

Steve looked over at him and winked.

"Just for that, we should make you cuddle with him." Stewart grumbled. "Tell him he can decide for himself who's better!"

Which of course killed the playful look on Steve's face.

Two pairs of shoes proceeded to kick at Stewart (who dodged Jeff's only to be nailed by Tiffany's far more tactical aim.)

Except when Gareth though about it, it actually wasn't a half-bad idea.

If one pitched it right.

"You know," Gareth said slowly, a plan forming. It was half-baked, but it'd work. "--you could end this pretty easily if you did. You  have the power."

"Are we being serious right now?" Jeff grumped. "This does not feel like we're being serious."

Gareth ignore him.

"You up for one last cuddle, Sir Carrington?"  He asked, playfully.

He got a flat look in return. "You've got to be kidding me. You're seriously suggesting the solution here is for me and Eddie to cuddle."

"I am indeed." Gareth said with a grin. "So long as it's an absolutely terrible cuddle."

That got an interesting reaction.

"Good luck, I'm an amazing cuddler." Steve huffed, offended--and it looked like he actually believed it.

A curiosity, considering even with everyone announcing themselves before touching him he still got jumpy.

"Then pretend." Gareth wheedled. "You don't even have to do it for that long. Sneeze in his ear and he'll be done for."

He got a few grossed out looks for that, but it was worth it all to see Steve growing more comfortable with the idea.

"If I were to do anything of the sort I wouldn't sneeze in his ear." The jock retorted, but he looked contemplative.

"I'm sure you could come up with something else. " Gareth suggested, and gave his best, award winning smile as he said it. "You're creative when cornered."

No ulterior motives here, no sir!

"I know what you're doing, Gareth." Steve said, calling him out immediately. "But I might be convinced to take a hit for the team--for a price. My reputation would be on the line."

"What do you want?" Stewart asked immediately, more than a little desperate as Eddie carried on in the background.

"Well..." Steve trailed off, slowly meeting each and every one of them in the eye. "what are you offering?"

"You know what?" Jeff said, putting his head back in his hands. " Just for that, you and Gareth both are on my shit list."

"I'll bake you those marble brownies you wanted and get right back off it." Steve said, the smug air only growing as Jeff sighed loudly.

"Name your price, Harrington." Stewart said, talking over Jeff's second, overly dramatic sigh. "You want some D&D treasure, or an item for your character? You got it. You want a fucking," He paused, eyes scrunching up in thought. "--new basketball? Or whatever sport ball you're into right now?"

"Not even close." Steve told him.

Jeff sighed a third time, loud and obnoxious.

"Why does this always fall down to me?" Tiff asked the ceiling, as though God himself might respond back with the answer. She tilted her head back down, aiming to make eye contact with Steve. "You're in Rucker's class right? I'll write your poly-sci paper. Highest grade I will guarantee is a B, and that is because it would be suspicious if you looked like you suddenly had strong, A-grade opinions on current, geopolitical policies."

Steve snapped and pointed towards her. "Sold!" He called, mimicking an auctioneer.

Smooth as butter, he turned towards Hurricane Eddie. "Hey Munson!"

In two seconds the jock had summoned that cocky persona of his, wearing a smarmy smile like a cloak. It was getting easier and easier to tell which "bitchy Steve" was the real one and which one was a total front.

(Tiffany had decided the man was a mean girl at his core and honestly, the label stuck.

But Mean Girl Steve was a hell of a lot different than King Steve--or any of the other overly confident swaggering personas Steve adopted like a second skin.)

For for all the preparation he'd had, was still rigid most of the time Gareth had occupied his lap, only relaxing when the younger boy had gotten Eddie so wound up their eldest friend couldn't form coherent sentences.

Now, as Steve strode over and issued the challenge of a cuddle off during the next Hellfire game, he was already less stiff.

Eddie had that effect on people. Particularly ones who had crushes on him.

"This is the stupidest thing I've ever been involved in." Tiffany complained.

"Is it Tiff? Is it really?" Jeff challenged as he finally sat up.

"She's definitely forgetting the purple griffin incident." Grant said, completely ignoring what was going down on the other end of the table as he took advantage of Eddie being distracted to make his escape.

"Fine." Tiff conceded before anyone could list anything else off, "But it's at least in the top five."

"This Friday, Harrington." Eddie announced loudly then, fire in his eyes and a finger in Steve's face. "Me and you. It is on."

"Hope you're ready to lose." Steve taunted.

It was hilarious as it was ridiculous.

Which meant of course, that dumb shit had to get in the way of it.

xXx

Steve backslid the next morning.

Worse, he kept backsliding, growing worse throughout the week until the person left looked a whole lot like the guy they’d dragged to their table all those months ago.

He sat silently next to Eddie during lunch, only speaking if asked a direct question, all banter and playful bitchiness gone.

He avoided Hellfire’s members in the hallway, Stewart reporting he had been uncharacteristically silent during their one shared class.

Most damning?

He’d flinched when Eddie had done their dumb little “shoulder bumping” routine.

Which officially meant that ghost Steve was back.

(“I didn’t realize how Steve was our little ray of sunshine and positivity until he stopped being it.” Tiff complained, idly spinning a pencil in the library. “Worse, I didn’t think I’d miss it.”

Gareth, who definitely wasn’t skipping again, agreed wholeheartedly.)

Not even Eddie's antics got a smile out of Steve. He really tried too, to the point where Gareth was starting to worry his best friend was going to do something dramatic just to get a little chuckle.

Steve at least, picked up on the fact he was freaking out all of Hellfire when Grant started to get blunt with his questions.

A part of Gareth (the part that appreciated Grant’s bluntness, instead of the rest of him, that wanted to duck and cover in case it made things worse) was curious if this would finally get Steve to open up; but instead it just made things worse.

Within two direct “No really dude, what's wrong?” ’s, Steve retired the haunted act and instead brought the downright freaky return of one Hawkins' jock's doing a real good job at pretending he was okay.

Pity for him this wasn't Tommy H or the rest of the public Steve was trying to fool.

This was a group of people who tended to be hyper aware of things, ranging from their surroundings to their people. (And then went on to play, as Steve regularly teased them, “one giant math game about it.”)

Not a single one of them was fooled by the act, or the evasive answers Steve pulled out of his ass when the rest of them all, individually, in their own way, tried to figure out if their newest member was okay or just having a few bad days.

"He told me he wasn't feeling good." Jeff said, worrying his lip with his teeth when they all finally convened together after school to discuss it.

"Are we choosing to buy that?" Tiffany asked, one eyebrow raised in a challenge. "He's been off since Tuesday. It's Thursday."

Grant huffed an agreement, arms crossed over his chest.

"Devils advocate, people are typically sick for more than one day." Stewart pointed out. "Dudes probably got allergies or something, it is the end of May."

"It's not allergies." Gareth said flatly.

Allergies usually came with symptoms like coughing and sneezing.

They did not come with vacant stares and falling over one's feet when their friends said hello in the hallway.

"Well clearly he doesn't want to talk about it so maybe he'll just…work himself out of whatever it is." Jeff reasoned. "I don't know if we should really push him about it."

"And miss out on another week's worth of baking?" Stewart bemoaned, as if Steve's lack of treats was the sole reason they were concerned.

Tiff swiped at him with her paperback.

Interestingly, Eddie had yet to say much on the matter. Everyone knew he was just as worried. The guy was a secret teddy bear, and they all still knew to warn him if a dog so much as got hurt in a movie. Worse, Steve was one of his "sheepies" as he so lovingly called them all, and was notoriously defensive of Hellfire as a whole.

Gareth had been eyeing him throughout their little gathering, watching as his best friend tapped his foot anxiously.

The guy seemed lost in his own head and while it wasn't completely unusual, it too, was odd behavior.

Gareth squinted at him, making eye contact and asking if he was alright with the kind of subtle facial expressions only best friends could pull.

Eddie didn't respond, but instead, looked away.

'That's a no.' Gareth thought, as the conversation around them wound down, without anyone coming up with any solid plans on what they were going to do about the Steve situation.

This is exactly how he ended up following Eddie home.

"Inviting ourselves over I see." The elder teen muttered out of the corner of his mouth as Gareth chased him to his van, hopping into the passenger seat instead of heading for his bicycle.

"It's a good night for a smoke sess." Gareth responded casually.

"You hate smoking weed." Eddie returned with a snort. "You prefer edibles."

"Just think of what we could do with Harrington's baking skills." Gareth replied wistfully--but made sure to watch his friend.

There it was. The slightest of weird expressions, flitting over Eddie's face like a shadow before he hid it back into whatever cage it escaped from.

"You're worried." Gareth guessed. Not like that was a hard one.

"Aren't we all, Gare-Bear?" Eddie returned, eyes never leaving the road.

He pretended like he couldn't feel Gareth scanning him, taking in the too tense shoulders and the shuttered, guarded look on his face.

"You know something." Gareth guessed after a moment.

The declaration made his best friend flinch, hands squeezing tight on the wheel.

'Got you.'

"Are you going to spill or do I have to blackmail it out of you?"

"Please Gary you have nothing you could blackmail me with." Eddie challenged with a snort. "I am shameless."

A challenge that could not be ignored, if only because Gareth wanted to remind him who had had the upper hand since Steve had crashed into Hellfire.

"Really? So you wouldn't mind if I show Steve those photos of the time we dressed up as a Barbie “ken doll” band for Jeff’s sister’s birthday? You know, the one were you were wearing that pink boa and the star glasses--”

A hand shot out, clapping Gareth over the mouth.

"Thank you, I got it!" Eddie said, voice an octave higher than normal. "Why do you still even have that!?"

"My mom." Gareth managed to get out, even if it was horribly muffled between Eddie's bony fingers.

"Curse that woman's thirst for nostalgia and scrapbooks." Eddie hissed, as if his mom was some grand villain.

"You love her crafts, you ass." Gareth rolled his eyes, wiping his mouth when Eddie finally removed his hand. "Now spill."

"I'm not sure this is what's causing it." The elder cautioned after a pause just long enough to be dramatic. "But rumor has it his parents are home."

"You think they're why he's acting all…" Gareth trailed off, unsure of what to compare Steve to and not wanting to say a kicked dog.

Eddie hummed in agreement. "Every time I walk into Steve's house, the place starts off feeling like a living tomb. There’s got to be a reason for that, and the only one I can think of is that his parents want that. The tomby-ness."

Gareth leaned back in his seat, contemplating. Turned the idea of Steve's mysterious parents over in his head, comparing it to how the guy's house did have a sort of museum quietness to it.

It wasn't that the place was huge, or even that Steve was typically its solo occupant beyond the occasional weekends one or both of his parents "popped in."

It was the perfectness of it.

How on any given day a photographer could show up to take pictures and the place would be camera ready.

A sort of--trophy house.

He went on to tell his best friend this.

"It’s like a shrine to their success." Eddie added an hour later, when they'd resettled onto his couch, trying to break down just what exactly about Steve's house made it so weird.

They'd shared a beer each--some gross kind that a cat couldn't have gotten buzzed off of, and Gareth had just finished helping Eddie select their chosen flower to roll when an awkward sound erupted throughout the trailer.

If Gareth knew any better, he'd say it almost sounded like someone was knocking on the shitty aluminum door.

Couldn't be though, because he'd never in his life heard someone knock--Eddie's uncle Wayne had a key, and every member of Hellfire was aware that the window in Eddie's room had a broken lock.

To get it open you just had to push at it from a specific angle, and with a few tugs it'd come right up for you.

The noise came again, this time a little louder.

Gareth looked to Eddie, and found his friend holding all the weed.

Understanding flashed between them, and Gareth stood up to answer the door as Eddie magically made the drugs disappear.

Thankfully, it wasn't the cops.

"Hey." Steve said, standing awkwardly on Eddie's porch, looking like he desperately wanted inside but wasn't sure he'd be allowed in. "Eddie said I could just come over if I needed to…?"

He trailed off, awkwardly miming smoking with his fingers.

Gareth couldn't hold in the snort.

"You're in luck man, because I just finished rolling a few." He said, stepping back to let their wayward jock in.

"Hey Stevie." Eddie drawled, now in the process of making the weed reappear. "Come in, have a seat, take a puff."

Rather than sit on the admittedly small couch, Steve chose instead to drop his ass to the floor, leaving the open spot above him to Gareth. He waited until the younger was seated before he leaned back, broad shoulders brushing both his friends legs as he relaxed.

Eddie’s hand twitched, as though he wanted to run it through Steve’s hair and thought better of it.

(Knowing him as Gareth did, that was very likely exactly what the weird little movement of his was.)

“You wanna tell us what’s goin’ on?” Eddie said softly, long after all three of them had an inhale of the joint Eddie had lit, sitting in relaxed silence. "Cause you've been pretty down, Stevie."

"Yeah." Steve agreed hollowly. "Sorry."

Eddie nudged his leg with a foot, then offered him the blunt again. "Don't apologize man, we can't all be sunshine and rainbows."

“You’d be surprised at how many people expect an apology for just that.” Steve muttered.

Gareth traded careful looks over Steve’s head, Eddie turning back and resolutely plowing on.

“You don’t have to, but talking tends to make people feel better.”

“Does it?” Steve asked, before taking a slow, measured inhale of the joint.

Idly he added; "Gareth you can't roll for shit."

"Fuck you dude!" The younger teen exclaimed, instantly offended, but knew a redirect when he saw one. "You try rolling them then!" He snatched the joint out of Steve's hands, huffing audibly.

It was an offer. If Steve didn't want to take the opening Eddie had given him, he could instead take the out Gareth had given.

The option reminded him of Alice in Wonderland (Gareth’s actual favorite movie, even if he tells everyone else it's The Empire Strikes Back)

Specifically when Alice was lost, standing before a split path and asking advice from the Cheshire Cat.

Would you tell me, please, which way I ought to go from here?" Alice asks.

The Cheshire Cat spins its head, smiling its smile as it answers;“ That depends a good deal on where you want to get to."

Steve proved himself to be a stronger man that Gareth had given him credit for, and took the harder path.

"My parents are home." He said, eyes glued to the TV in front of him, as if that would make the conversation easier.

Perhaps it did.

Eddie to his credit, didn't treat the declaration as anything important. "Yeah? They bring you something nice back from New York?"

"Florida this time and no."

Steve fussed with a thread on his sweater for a moment, a single yellow thread unspooling from the end. It looked like he’d been tugging at it a lot, a small imperfection on an otherwise expensive looking piece of clothing.

"Apparently I've been such a disappointment they're demanding I get a job." He began again. "They want me to learn the realities of hard work."

Gareth traded puzzled glances with Eddie.

Steve had never shied from hard work.

Everyone had heard the story of how he’d won over every coach in Hawkins' High’s favor. It was practically school legend, since he was the first freshmen to take up and finish some bullshit exercise challenge they hosted every year.

The guy even had a herd of some of the most obnoxious children he looked after, without pay.

There was no way the source of whatever was eating at him was a summer job.

Or perhaps, not just a summer job.

"Summer jobs fucking suck, but I hear that new mall’s finally finished.” Gareth said hesitantly. “You could probably get in somewhere there before you head off to college.”

"I'm not going to college. Didn't get into any." Steve said flatly.

Ah-ha.

"I only applied to the one Nancy made me." He added, still refusing to look at either of them. "Couldn't bring myself to apply to any of the others."

Which--odd, but it wasn't the oddest thing ever. Some people just didn't like school, or traditional learning methods.

No matter how much Gareth's counselor insisted otherwise.

"My dad found that out too." Steve said after a moment.

"College isn't the fucking answer to life." Gareth continued. "There's plenty of other things you can do."

Eddie’s head cocked, like a dog who’d been presented with a puzzle.

Steve shrugged. "That's not my issue with it, but the old man thinks it is. He keeps insisting that the free rides are over now." His voice kicked into a deep mockery of his fathers at the end, the condescending tone coming through loud and clear. “Thinks I'm here to screw my girlfriend and party my life away. Wouldn't hear me about not wanting to go to college, at all. Definitely didn't care that I broke up with Nancy." The last part was muttered, almost said more to himself and for himself than it was for them.

Eddie’s head tilted the other way.

"Did you have an idea of what you wanted to do?" Gareth asked. He figured it they knew, they might be at least able to help.

He got a shrug in response.

Gareth was about to open his mouth--probably to put his foot in it, but hell if Steve wanted help brainstorming what he did want to do with his life, or at least get positive support from someone who wasn't a rich asshole, it might as well start here.

Eddie beat him to the punch though, because as usual, Eddie was able to track the weird unspoken thing that no one else could pick up on.

"It's the kids, isn't it?" Eddie asked softly. Reverently. "You don't want to leave Hawkins, because of the kids."

Steve took another sip of beer, waving off the joint Gareth offered him. For someone who'd come to smoke he'd barely touched it or the beer, but then no one here would push.

It was pretty obvious, (to Gareth anyway) that the weed had been a flimsy excuse to begin with.

"When those damn kids started trying to trap the--dogs." Steve started, correcting his slip so smoothly Gareth almost didn't pick up that he'd intended to say something else. “I was the only damn adult they could find.”

Steve gave up fiddling with his sweater to tug angrily at his beer tab, twisting and pulling at it.

"They had figured out where the dogs would be. Had an entire meat bucket they wanted to use as bait and but I was the only damn person to try and at least wrangle the little shits. You wanna know how they found me?" He picked up steam now, and Eddie couldn't even be satisfied that he'd managed to hit the nail on the head because clearly whatever was happening here was the actual thing Steve needed to get off his chest.

"Football practice?" Gareth asked mostly to fill in the tension-filled pause, and then ducked from the swat Eddie aimed his way.

Steve blew out a harsh, mocking breath.

"Dustin found me on the way to Nancy's house, where I was planning on apologizing. Had flowers and everything."

Oh.

Steve's tone said a hell of a lot more than that, the raw emotion making Gareth's own stomach roll.

A careful glance showed an equally punched-out expression on Eddie's face, the metalhead having physically reared back like Steve's words had struck him.

"What were you apologizing for?" He asked, recovering faster than Gareth could.

"Honestly man? I don't know." Steve laughed then, a harsh little disbelieving noise. "I just knew Nancy had said--well she said some shit while drunk, and wasn't able to say some shit sober, and I realized after that maybe I--I rushed her or something you know?"

He ran a hand through his hair, a self soothing behavior. "Or that I did, fuck I don't know. She's Nancy Wheeler, she's smarter than me by a longshot, so if she was mad, than I figured I must be at fault." Steve shrugged, like that was a fact of life.

Eddie interrupted immediately. "She's not smarter than you."

"I--what?"

"Nancy isn't smarter than you.' Eddie repeated firmly. "She's booksmart, Stevie. School smart. Nancy Wheeler absolutely owns tests and papers and things you need to study for, and she’s a hell of a researcher--but she's not people smart."

"What?" Steve repeated incredulously and there Gareth caught a flash of bitchy Steve.

The real one, who'd been shoved aside by the apathetic version.

"Have you ever seen that girl get fixated on something? She's tenacious, gets her teeth in and won't let go.” Eddie snapped his teeth, shaking his head while growling like a dog.

Gareth rolled his eyes, but a ghost of a smile graced Steve’s face.

“But she hasn't figured out how that hurts people yet. She's caught up in getting the results. She's not intentionally unkind, she's just--a little out of touch." Eddie flopped back against the couch, making a grabby gesture for the joint Gareth now held. “People like you--”

Here, he poked Steve in the chest, before reaching past him to wave his hand obnoxiously in Gareth’s face for the joint (and get smacked at for the effort) “are people smart.”

"That's not--no." Steve protested head jerking from Eddie's fingers to Eddie's face, but it was weak, his eyes wide as saucers.

"Yes.” Eddie mocked, but it was in jest, proven by the easy, soft smile he gave Steve. “You said it yourself. The kids go to you, man. They go to you even now, when Nancy or Jonathan could be driving them all over town. You get people; how they work, how they tick, what makes them happy or sad, and people are drawn to you because of that.”

“Jonathan drives.” Steve muttered in disagreement.

“And yet we all witnessed the clown car act when all those kids came out of your backseat two weekends ago.” Eddie refuted. “You’re just as smart as Nancy is, Steve. Just in a different way.”

Steve frowned.

“My parents don’t see it like that.”

“Your parents can get fucked, Sweetheart.”

That was pushing it, but Steve didn't comment on the nickname. Never commented on any nicknames Eddie came up with, beyond the occasional eye roll.

Which is right about when the phone rang.

They all glanced towards it, then down at their respective watches.

It was well past midnight.

"Think that's Wayne?" Gareth asked, eyebrows raising as Eddie stood to answer the phone.

His friend just shrugged, before picking up.

"Munson Mortuary, you stab em we slab em." He chirped as he pressed the phone to his ear.

"Tiffy-Taffy isn't it kinda late for--whoa." Eddies easy smile flipped, back going ramrod straight. "Slow down, what happened?" And oh, shit, that was Eddie's "somethings wrong and I'm going to fix it" voice.

Gareth sat up, making sure the joint Eddie had put down was out as he stared worriedly at Eddie.

"Okay. Gareth and Steve are with me, we're all coming." Eddie finished, prompting Steve to also sit up. "Stay there and for the love of God, tell Stewart not to touch anything else."

"What happened." Steve and Gareth demanded as one.

It'd be funny if the look on Eddie's face wasn't so serious.

"I'm afraid I'm going to have to break my promise about not going to the lab, Steve." He said, a hand going to tug anxiously at his hair.

"What?" Steve said, immediately on the defensive.

Then; "Why?"

"Because all our darling friends went to the Hawkin's lab without us. Apparently they ran into some kids on the way and now Stewart's stuck in a hole."

“All of them?” Gareth questioned, because sure, yeah he could see Stewart doing it. Could see Grant and even Jeff really, but Tiffany? Out exploring an abandoned lab that had killed people?

On a school night?

"She's gonna give us the full story when we get there, she called from the nearest payphone. Had some kid who kept interrupting her so she just gave me the basics, but apparently Stewart is really stuck, and for some reason the damn kids won't let anyone try to get him from some other door. They keep saying it's not safe or some shit." Eddie's anxious tugging grew as he moved to snatch up his wallet and keys, walking and talking as it were.

Gareth had expected a reaction out of Steve then, but  what he hadn't expected was Steve to surge to his feet in a near panic.

"Kids!?" He shouted, eyes wide and frantic.

Eddie flinched, but Gareth knew immediately what the jock was thinking.

"You don't think they're your feral pack of kids--do you?" He asked.

"It's always them so yes, yes I do." Steve snarled and for the first time that week, the guy looked alive.

Gareth just wished it was under better circumstances.

#steddie #adopt a jock #once again we are discussing Nancy #no hate #plus its an OUTSIDER pov #Nancy does come in later in AaJ but what were seeing is Eddie seeing the fallout of Stoncy or whatever that pairing is called pre s3 #She's a complex character and I like playing with the effect their relationship and general dynamic has on Steve #Steve harrington #eddie munson #gareth emerson #tw drugs #tw weed #tw drinking #(beer) #steve harringtons shitty parents #no one panic eddie does not drive under the influence even if it is the 80s lol #I mention Steve not partaking as much for a reason #lab tiiiime #poor Steve hes havin a go of it #hey we're getting closer to adding Robin!

[pawnshopbleus]

Put Me in a Movie - Chapter Eleven

Miguel O’Hara x Fem!Reader

Summary - You’re a famous actress and he’s one of the greatest directors of all time. What happens when you get cast in his new movie?

Chapter Ten

The wrap party was a month ago and you haven’t been in contact with Miguel since. It’s not like you blocked him. You just gave him some space and respected his boundaries.

Now, you and Fern were at the grocery store. It was a grocery store that only Hollywood's finest shopped at due to its pretty pricey membership. Fern was sitting in the part of the cart where babies and small children usually sat.

You were in the part of the grocery store that interested Fern the least, the produce aisle. You were shopping for general items to stock your fridge. Tomatoes, carrots, broccoli, mushrooms, bell peppers, spinach, and lettuce. You just needed to find some potatoes and then you would be on your way over to the snack aisle.

“I like you dog,” a tiny girl's voice said.

You looked up from your phone to where the voice came from. A little girl around the age of six or seven was sitting in an unattended cart. This alarmed you. What kind of parent would leave their child unattended in a grocery store?

If this was your child, you would want someone to watch over her just in case. So you did.

“Thank you. Her name is Fern. What’s your name?” You pulled your cart up next to hers.

“My name’s Gabriella. Can I pet your dog?” Gabriella and Fern looked at you with pleading eyes.

You laughed at their antics, “Sure. Pet away.”

Gabriella laughed as Fern lapped at her face. You thought that this was the perfect time to ask Gabriella where the hell her parents were.

“My dad said he was going to go put something back but I think he forgot about me,” Gabriella shrugged. Gabriella was good with dogs. She knew just where to pet and where to not. She was careful, kind, and attentive. Overall, she looked like she was a good kid.

“Gabriella, I’m-” Miguel’s voice got caught in his throat as he saw you. You looked amazing. He couldn’t stop thinking about you since the moment he kissed you a month ago. He cursed himself night and day for letting you go. If time travel was possible, he would go back in time and never let you go.

“Miguel? This is your daughter?” you asked him.

No matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t speak. He just stupidly looked at you like a deer in headlights.

“Yea, that’s my dad,” Gabriella answered for him. Fern barked which caused Miguel to break out of his trance.

You tried to strike up a conversation but didn’t know what to say so you resorted to the blandest question ever, “So, how have you been?”

“I’ve been better,” Miguel answered honestly.

The two of you fell into a light and friendly conversation. It contrasted the many sarcastic and rushed conversations the two of you had in the past. It was still evident that the two of you had feelings for each other. He was everything that you thought of during the past month. His lips put a spell on you that no matter what you did, you couldn’t break it.

“Daddy, can I get a dog?”

“No.” “Well, can this nice lady come over with her dog?” Then, Gabriella’s eyes widen, “Hey, she kind of looks like the picture you have on your phone. You know the one where she’s wearing that red bathing suit.”

You were on the cover of Sports Illustrated about three years ago. You remember that red bathing suit. Stella was the one that bought it for you when your stylist brought you an ugly neon leopard print bikini. You would never be caught dead in anything leopard print.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Miguel denied the connection. His face was flushed red with embarrassment.

“Yes, you do. When I was playing Minecraft on your phone I accidentally went to your pictures and I saw that picture. You have a lot of pictures of her on your phone,” Gabriella said matter-of-factly.

You wanted to laugh out loud at the way that Miguel was giving Gabriella a pointed look. As if he was trying to non-verbally communicate with his daughter. She was obviously not taking the hint as she continued. Apparently, he had about a trillion pictures of you according to Gabriella.

“Gabby, that’s enough.” Miguel sighed as he put his flushed face in his hands.

“I’ll stop if you let her come over for dinner with her dog.” Gabriella knew how to get her way and she did.

“Fine, do you want to come over for dinner?” Miguel asked.

“Oh, I don’t want to intrude.”

“No, please. It’s the least I could do. Especially after…”

“Well, alright then. I guess Fern and I are coming over for dinner then.” You clasped your hands together. Gabriella let out a pleased hum and kissed Fern on the head.

“See you tonight, then?” Miguel looked at you hopefully.

“See you tonight.”  

Chapter Twelve 

#miguel o'hara #miguel o'hara x reader #miguel o'hara x female reader #miguel spiderverse #miguel x reader

[skylarstark4826]

Spider sat in one corner of the Sully marui weaving a basket, his smaller hands making quick work of tying sturdy knots out of material new to him.

In the other sat Neytiri, skinning fish after fish and placing them on hooks, quick and efficient with her blade.

The hut stayed utterly silent aside from sounds of their labour, yet it barely felt awkward. After all, both inhabitants were focusing for a reason. The chores were a distraction.

A distraction from the horrid disaster they’ve been through. 

Strangely enough, since loosing the oldest Sully and arranging a funeral, both of them avoided talking about him; even in passing. It caused too much pain, like rubbing salt into a bleeding gash, but while Neytiri knew such agony well, to Spider it was all new. He escaped any thoughts about Neteyam because he was afraid he’d break down again, like he did the night of the funeral, when the emotional whiplash fully caught up to him and he broke, emitting barely-human noises as Kiri wept, holding him. He’d never been this vulnerable, never cried to the point where there were no tears left, and hoped to Eywa that he wouldn’t have to repeat the process, although witnessing Ms.Sully break down twice this week didn’t give him much hope. But could he blame her?

No. Not in a million years. The utter shock of witnessing a loved one’s eyes loose light is a horror Spider wouldn’t wish upon anyone.

His work slowed. 

Is this how Neytiri felt when she lost her father? Her sister? Half of her clan? His pain from loosing ‘Teyam felt gut-wrenching, so he couldn’t even begin to imagine how badly it burned Ms.Sully’s soul to have so much taken from her. Truth be told, he felt horrible for resenting her back in the forest. He only ever saw his own part of the story.

As he wandered deeper into his thoughts, so did the matriarch; except she had a bad habit of quickening her pace whenever she could not find focus on the present. She couldn’t let her children or husband know, but she was holding on by a thread. No amount of crying and screaming and throwing objects into the sand could quench her agony, despite Norm saying that it’d be healthy for her to let it out. No matter how much she let it out, there was too much still left, and it grew like a mold as soon as she’d stop screaming. Maybe she was well past the point of "letting it out" years ago, though she certainly tried many times.

She looked at Spider. 

Yes, she tried hard to let it out indeed…and this boy became her accidental target. He came under the line of fire because through his veins coursed the blood of a demon, and she recalled herself justifying that behaviour more than once by telling her beloved that said boy walked on a slippery slope, bound to repeat the mistakes of his ancestors. 

And yet, there he sat. After enduring months of captivity and torture, as he’d told them when Tonowari organised a council to hear our whatever information he had gathered, he was still loyal. 

He witnessed villages burn, had to beg the demon, *cry* for him to spare the people, and it eluded Neytiri how or why the monster listened. She didn’t want to put the puzzle together just yet, trying to erase the incident on the ship out of her memory. Eywa knows, Kiri hasn’t looked at her the same since.

“Ack!” She hissed when the knife inevitably drove into her finger, causing a bleeding. She then sees Spider react on pure instinct, fetching a bandage-like cloth and sitting next to the woman as he treated her injury. He was good at it, that much she was aware of, as she saw him treat a deep wound once. A human ally pilot bled once, but Socorro never lost his cool and swiftly bandaged it. 

She wondered how often he had to treat himself, to get this precise with his movements.  She also wondered why she let him touch her, but the last seven days have been a complete mess, and neither of the two had strength to be passive-aggressively avoidant of each other. There were bigger sorrows to mope over.

***

The crowd of Metkayina, as well as Tau’nui, roared in frustration at the council. They wanted action, and they wanted it now. The death of many of their loved ones, including the tulkun, has angered them beyond belief, but the leaders had to quieten the crowd so Spider could share what he had gathered about their enemy. He knew he was looked at side-ways, because contrary to how he felt on the inside, blue stripes didn’t make him taller, no matter how much paint he applied to his skin. 

Neytiri grew frustrated as well. The crowd’s fury had been understandable, but their restlessness only stalled them. She looked at the teenager to see if he’d be brave enough to do something about it, since not even Tonowari and Ronal could calm their storm. And he did.

Grabbing the tube filled with a yellow liquid from the mat in the centre, Spider stood in front of the big fire and raised it to the sky. The crowd went quiet, their attention now consumed by the strange device.

“Listen to me, reef people!” He exclaimed, mustering all the confidence he had. “This! This is why they’re killing your spirit siblings!” His voice shook when he remembered the death of a mother and her child.

“What is it!?” He heard the crowd demanding.

“It’s a liquid stored in the minds of every tulkun! They hunt for it because-” He couldn’t believe he was about to say it. “Because it grants sky people immortality!”

Reef Na’vi gasped in utter shock, and even Jake couldn’t keep his jaw from hitting the floor.

“What…what are you saying, child?” Ronal dared to ask, her eyes filled with horror.

“This…this fluid stops humans from ageing! It makes them live forever!” He locked eyes with her.

“But…that is impossible, all energy—”

“They found a way to break that rule. And they break it by killing the tulkun and pulling this out of their heads.” Socorro pointed to where his brain is, his own eyes watering.

The Metkayina and Tau’nui were silent now, processing this new information.

Neytiri felt even more furious than before, but by no means surprised. Sky people cruelty was new to the sea Na’vi, but not her. Not her clan.

Not new to Spider either, she thought, looking at him, and how bravely he held up in the face of a resentful mob.

Yes.

He was indeed quite brave.

***

Water, as beautifully as it sparkled, had never been Neytiri’s strong suit. She could swim just fine, could even fish to an extent, but riding an ilu was still quite difficult for her to grasp, even more when it came to the skimwing. Now that the war was upon them, she had no excuse to stall on learning, so Ronal took time out of her day to offer help. She guided the animal towards her, and ‘Tiri couldn’t help but feel warmth in her chest at its friendly clicks. About ten metres away, Spider sat on the woven pier and helped Jake carve wooden stakes for the nets. Socorro kept stealing glances, wondering how Ms.Sully would do.

Tsaheylu went smoothly but Neytiri shivered, as if cold water was dumped on her. She heard a familiar chuckle and whipped her head, seeing Spider quickly turn his down and pretending to work. She huffed, and listened to Tsahik’s instructions, slowly got on the creature’s back. However, the animal must’ve felt her lack of confidence, as it chirped and bolted away, dropping Neytiri into the water.

Spider tried, honest to the great mother, to hold it in, but the image of such a serious, graceful figure emerging from beneath the waves with the widest eyes was just too amusing. He let out a laugh, before biting his lip and hunching again. Jake looked at him like he just signed his death warrant, and Socorro couldn’t agree more. 

He didn’t see the smirk Neytiri failed to suppress, or her slowly wagging tail as she approached the ilu again, and whispered something into their ear.

He did however, definitely feel the harsh tug on his loincloth, which sent him tumbling into the water with a high-pitched screech. Once under the surface, he locked eyes with the clicking ilu and playfully shoved its face, swimming back up when the most incredible sound graces his ears. 

Neytiri laughed. It was short-lived, but she laughed, and laughed in his presence. Seeing a smile on her worn out face felt like a breath of fresh air and Socorro couldn’t help but chuckle in return, grinning. 

Oh how good it felt, to have the weight of the world pulled off their shoulders, if just for a single moment.

***

Neytiri was at it again; overworking herself because she steadily lost focus on the current task while the eclipse had long since passed. She was expected home hours ago, and the family, deeply scared for their mother’s wellbeing, went looking for her around the village.

Jake and Spider split to search on the shoreline, going opposite directions and soon enough, Socorro witnessed a familiar silhouette resting against the rocks. It was none other than ‘Tiri, with a half-weaved net in her arms. 

The blonde couldn’t help but appreciate that distinct, Omatikaya handiwork; he learned weaving from her after all, but his wonder turned to confusion when he caught the warrior twitching in her sleep. Looking up, Spider met her shut eyes and a forming scowl. It’d be better to wake Neytiri before she falls deeper into whatever nightmare she was seeing.

But as soon as Socorro’s hand touched hers, she pounced on him akin to a vengeful thanator. In a way, she was.

“Hey hey HEY!!” Spider yelled, as ‘Tiri felt for the blade strapped to her vest and unsheathed it. “Neytiri STOP!! IT’S ME!!”

In a fit of rage, Neytiri hissed at him, and on reflex, the blonde hissed right back. That seemed to do the trick, as it snapped the warrior out of her delusion, and she breathed heavily, looking him in the eyes.

After what felt like an eternally long moment, she leapt away, realising what she’d done. “What do you want!?”

“…It’s-it’s eclipse. Everyone has been looking for you…” Spider breathed.

Neytiri turned, eyeing the darkening sky, before giving the blonde a slow nod and collecting the net she’d weaved.

“Let us go.” She looked back at him, waiting for Spider to follow.

***

This night proceeded quietly, like so many others these past weeks, but Tshaka could not sleep. It has been roughly a month, but her scar bled still, as fresh as ever. Keeping her son out of her thoughts as to not breakdown completely has been an exhausting task. 

She needed some air, and slowly, as to not disturb her family, slipped out of the warm hut, shivering at the chill. It was then she caught a distant sound of sobbing.

In said distance, on a pier, sat a familiar tiny figure, with knees up to his chin, and shaking shoulders. ‘Tiri couldn’t help her gasp as she approached, akin to a predator trying not to spook its prey. Was Spider really crying? He hadn’t done that since the funeral. She guessed that he’d been putting on a front, but never considered how heavy the burden of grief would weight on someone who experienced it for the first time. 

Thinking of her child, she let out a tear.

It never got easier, but one’s very first loss always stings the most.

“Spider.” 

She spoke barely above a whisper, but Socorro still lurched, as if burned, before quickly lifting his mask and wiping away the salt on his cheeks. 

“W-what is it?” He croaked, his voice shaking.

It’s only then Neytiri realised that she didn’t actually think it through. Her deep-rooted maternal instinct pulled her towards a broken child, but knowing their history, she had no idea how to provide comfort to him specifically.

So instead, she sat next to him, looking at the glowing ocean.

“I cannot sleep.”

The Na’vi avoided making eye contact with Socorro as to not make him feel further embarrassed, but still noticed him nodding, while hiding most of his face.

“…Neither can I.”

‘Tiri nodded in acknowledgement, and they stayed silent for a little more. Listening to the waves swirl gently against pier’s columns, as well as watching peculiar creatures swim below.

“…How…how do-how do you do it?” The boy then asked, sheepishly turning to the woman next to him.

“Do what?”

“Keep going. After everything…” New tears gathered in his eyes. “I feel like a part of me has been ripped away. Is this how it felt when…?”

“…Yes. It feels like that all of the time.”

The blonde’s eyes widened, another tear escaping down his face. “Then how?”

Neytiri looked back at the ocean, trying to gather her thoughts and give him a hopeful response, but in truth, she had none. Every tragedy was a storm that destroyed her, and then, after a while, she just wouldn’t be crumbling as much.

“…I do not know. I guess…” She sighed. “All you can do is wait.”

“It’s torture.”

“Yes.”

“I want to see him again.”

Neytiri’s heart skipped a beat. “I know.”

“It feels like the world has ended, and everyone’s just pretending like nothing happened.”

That sentence brought new tears to Neytiri’s eyes. Socorro oddly hit the arrow on that one. It really did feel like a silent apocalypse at times; like everything after Neteyam’s death was an afterlife, a ghost remaining of the world that had once existed. 

But she felt that way before. The world had died before, one too many times, and yet here she still was, pushing on. It is thanks to her family that she once more found happiness and saw how her life could yet be full of love and purpose.

“…The sun, Socorro. Look to the sun.”

“What..?..”

Neytiri clenched the weaved floorboards of the pier. “The pain is agonising, and the tragedy may seem endless, but the sun will always rise. No matter what happens here on Eywa’eveng, it’ll greet us the very next morning.”

Spider looked up at Polemius; a giant orb with swirly patterns, gracing Pandorian sky.

“The sun will always rise.” Neytiri said, carefully, ever so carefully, moving her hand towards his, wanting to take the pain she is so aware of away from a boy so young. “Nor is the night starless.” She spoke, their fingers barely touching.

***

Curiously, Neytiri slept like a newborn after the conversation they had. Waking up with the morning rays, she saw that the marui had been emptied of all her family members, but she’d been tucked into a blanket. She’ll have to cook something big tonight, to reward her children and husband for working so hard to help Awa’atlu prepare for the future battle with sky people.

However, next to her lay a holo-pad. A human techno device used by Jake to contact their friends at high camp, and sometimes bythe Sully siblings to take photos. Tiredly, she picked up her head and stared at the screen. One of the icons was glowing, and she knew it meant that someone left a message. She pressed on it, expecting barely-comprehensible science gibberish written by Norm or Max.

Instead, it was a message written directly on this device. Neytiri read into the letters, her mind still foggy. 

Her heart sank into the ground.

Her face went pale. 

She leapt to a stance immediately, running as fast as she could through the village, a hundred emotions fighting to be felt, and a single question screaming to be answered.

Why?

The eclipse was not yet fully over when the warrior reached rocky cliffs on the edge of the island. Spider stood there, on the tallest edge, as still as a statue.

“WHY THE HELL DID YOU SAVE HIM!?” Neytiri screamed on top of her lungs, a human word escaping her in the state of panic.

Socorro turned to her, his face once more stained with tears, but his expression stone-serious. “I did it because….because he loves me, in his own horrible, fucked up way. He cared, and when push came to shove, he chose me over everything else!” He yelled to be heard over the crashing waves. “No one has ever done that for me before and, fuck!” He couldn’t keep up the front for long. “I love him too! I wish I didn’t! I swear I hate that I do! He’s a fucking monster and I regret my choices! But back there, I couldn’t stop myself!” He sobbed. “I was just…I didn’t want to be abandoned again.”

Neytiri glared at him, frantic, a small part of her wanting, truly wanting to understand, but getting overshadowed by anger and fear.

“Foolish boy! Do you understand what will happen?! He will come back for us! For your siblings!!”

Spider shook his head, breathing rapidly. “No, no, he doesn’t care for them. He only threatened you because he knew it would set off Jake. He wanted to bait him into a fight. It was his only goal all along.”

‘Tiri hissed, furious. “What is the meaning of all this? Why come here, to the outskirts, to say it!? Are you too much of a coward to face your sins head on!?”

“That’s exactly what I’m doing.”

Off-handedly, the woman noticed that Socorro wasn’t armed.

“After yesterday, I made up my mind. I can’t make things right, nothing will make it right…but this nightmare can end with me.”

It took a moment for Neytiri to process what the boy had meant, but when it hit her, she couldn’t help taking a step back.

Spider didn’t run out here because he’s a coward.

He ran out here to help Neytiri get rid of the evidence.

“You…you want me to kill you.”

“Don’t you?”

Did she?

Neytiri was angry, and grieving, and afraid, and broken what felt like way beyond repair after the tragedies she’d faced. 

She hated Spider for whom he saved.

She hated what he represented so much.

She…

…

She didn’t want him to die, she realised, tearing up in frustration at herself. She recalled when he was a baby fitting into the palm of her hand, when he followed her like a little shadow and eager to prove himself, when he played with her children, when he gave Tuktirey one of her first necklaces, when he saved his siblings from the sky people who pursued them out of hell’s gate a year ago, when he went through torture at the hands of RDA, that cause him phantom pains, just to keep Omatikaya and their family safe. 

For so long, when meeting eyes with the child before her, she only saw Quaritch. A creature that would inevitablt morph into his exact copy.

But now, when it felt like she had gotten all the proof of it in the world, she looked at him…

And only saw Spider. 

Spider, the human Omatikaya from the forest, and no one else. Miles’s shadow was gone, no longer veiling the blonde away from her.

Neytiri wanted to pluck her eyes out in anger. Why, out of all moments, did she have to see him now? Why did the great mother tortue her so?

She sighed shakily. “I do not what a child’s blood in my hands. I am not him.”

Spider’s eyes widened, as he stared at her in shock, before eventually frowning and nodding. “Right. I’m sorry, of course you wouldn’t…fuck, I don’t know why I thought you would.”

Why did he?

Neytiri hated him, he knew that. They even had an argument once, a short but dramatic one, when the RDA had just returned to Pandora. He’d been so frustrated at the way she saw him, that he’d exploded on her in return that night, saying that Kiri, Lo’ak and Tuk were all the family he had because of her war.

He regretted those words every day.

It was another reason to get rid of him. Truthfully, Neytiri had every justification to go through with his murder. Spider wasn’t even a creature of Eywa, so could it really that big of a deal?

But, of course it was.

Neytiri is not a monster out to get him, though it seems like Socorro had come to believe it at some point because of her sheer resentment. 

And then Neteyam died, and everything made sense. Honestly, Socorro had been surprised she didn’t actually attempt anything herself. Truly, Tsahaka was a warrior stronger than any other he’d ever met. An ideal Na’vi.

He only wished he could have understood her sooner.

But now he did. 

“I get it. I…”

And he still needed to make up for his sins.

“It’s time I act like one of the people for once.”

And with those words, Spider’s exopack flew down the cliff, disappearing into the foam below.

Neytiri’s heart stilled as she watched the blonde choke in slow-motion, before her instincts took over and she leapt into action. 

Spider’s limp form in her arms, she ran back to Awa’atlu, counting down the seconds with her every stride.

Sky people only had four minutes to live after loosing air. 

Awa’atlu resided way further. 

She wouldn’t make it.

But Socorro was not any other human, was he? 

Neytiri held onto that thought like a life-line as she pushed Metkayina out of her way. Had Spider always been so small? So fragile? 

She almost missed the entrance when reaching her home, slipping on the weavings, but regained her footing quickly and dropped Spider off on her pallet, rummaging through technical equipment Spellman had brought two weeks ago for the blonde specifically. 

Somewhere here, it had to be here!

There.

She pulled out a brand new mask, setting a charged battery into the slot before picking up her child and fixing the visor over his face, pressing a button that would start filtrating air. 

For a gruelling moment, there had been nothing but silence, and Neytiri’s heart kept sinking to the bottom of the ocean.

It’s been six minutes.

But then, there was a deep, loud inhale, punctuated by frantic coughing and shaking. Neytiri held the blonde as he gulped for air like a fish out of water. 

A moment or two, Spider had been completely disoriented, frantically looking around him, when his eyes paused, staring into Neytiri’s bright yellow ones, almost glowing in the light of the sun.

Socorro looked heartbroken, on the verge of tears the longer the warrior held him. “Why…why did you do it!?”

In response to his panic, Neytiri snapped out of her initial stupor. “I saved your life you ungrateful boy!” She snapped back, yet holding him only tighter. 

“Wha-no! You were supposed-I should have-” He stumbled over his words, distressed. “I should have died!” He sobbed, trying wearily to push Neytiri away, but his strength was no match for hers. “Let GO!” He cried. “…please.”

“True warriors do not go out like this.” She hissed.

“I’m not a warrior. Never passed the iknimaya remember!?” He blabbered, still pushing against Neytiri’s shoulders. “Ending it all was the most honorable thing I could do!”

“No!” She grabbed him by the bicep, forcing him to look up at her. “The honourable thing would be to own up to one’s mistake!”

“It was not a mistake! Don’t you get it?! I CHOSE him in that ocean. I s…” He whimpered, loosing his will to fight back. “He saw me. And I saw him. You can’t own up to that kind of shit.”

Neytiri’s hold on Spider’s bicep tightened, as she searched for something to say; something that would discourage him from trying that kind of blasphemy again, when a crucial memory surfaced in her mind.

“My mother. The Tsahik…” She began. “She saved a spy once. A spy of the sky people. A spy that helped your father destroy our hometree. That man chose to help our enemy…but he owned up to his choices, and eventually redeemed himself.”

“…but I can’t become rider of the last shadow.”

“No, you cannot, but it isn’t why I chose him. He made a commitment of loyalty, and showed us all that he was ready to fight, whether forgiven or not. You’ve made a commitment of loyalty a long time ago. I should have seen it sooner…should have seen you.” She spoke, and it felt like a puzzle piece missing from her damaged soul had finally been put into place. 

Spider gasped, his heart skipping a beat.

“Maybe if I did…the demon wouldn’t be alive.”

“What!? No! That-it wasn’t your responsibility!”

“It had to be someone’s, and I was the closest thing you ever gotten to a mother. That fact alone should have…cleared my mind.”

Socorro wanted to protest, wanted to take the guilt off Neytiri’s shoulders…but had no idea what to say to make it better. Perhaps a small, dark part of him didn’t want to, revelling in the newfound validation he’d never felt before.

“I apologise if I made you feel like death was your best chance at redemption.”

It was Spider’s turn to ho into Neytiri’s shoulder. “No! No it wasn’t you! I just-I brought so much pain already, I thought it’d be best if I stop being a burden.” Spider croaked. 

“You’re no burden. Never were.” ‘Tiri responded without missing a beat.

Socorro met eyes with Neytiri once more.

She looked back, not a shred of malice behind her gaze. Hate still raged in her heart.…but the love for this strange child, whom she knew practically since he was born, who put his life on the line for the people, was stronger. 

He fit perfectly into her embrace. 

“…Never?”

“Never.”

And the world, as these two knew it, shattered. This time however, it felt perfectly fine.

#neytiri & spider #tuktirey te suli neytiri'ite #neytiri sully #neytiri te tskaha mo'at'ite #neytiri avatar #jake x neytiri #jake sully #loak sully #spider socorro #miles spider socorro #lo’ak avatar #lo’ak te suli tsyeyk’itan #tuktirey sully #tuk tuk #tuk sully #tuktirey #kiri te suli kìreysì'ite #kiri sully #kiri avatar #avatar spider #spider te suli tsyeyk'itan #spider is adopted #Spider is the adoptive son of Neytiri #Spider is the adoptive son of Jake

[bratshaws]

goodness gracious 74. brb x oc

a/n: * breakdances* hell yeah my guys, hell yeah

check out the fic's playlist made by the sweet @wiipes !!

pairing: plus size!oc x rooster

warnings: FLUFF GOD IM SO ASKKAJSNKAJWDN i love them

chapters:

1/2/3/4/5/6/7/8/9/10/11/12/13/14/15/16/17/18/19/20/21/22/23/24/25/26/27/28/29/30/31/32/33/34/35/36/37/38/39/40/41/42/43/44

45/46/47/48/49/50/51/52/53/54/55/56/57/58/59/60/61/62/63/64

65/66/67/68/69/70/71/72/73

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-

Beatrice’s smile never faltered when he took them to the movies, specifically the cinema where they watched Alien the first time together. They haven’t been there since their first date almost seven months ago – seven months. They really have been together for seven months!!

She was a bit surprised to see the movies that night were the Lord of the Rings trilogy and while the movies weren't as old as the usual selection she was more than happy to see it there.

As was Bradley, who once he found out they’d be screening it that night he wasted no time in bringing Beatrice. Just the way her eyes shone brightly seeing the posters on the walls was enough for him. Plus, he’s been so busy lately they haven’t been having a lot of time to go out on date nights as often - it bothered him even if Beatrice said she didn’t mind.

Beatrice looked at the three posters next to each other while Rooster got them snacks for the night, stepping closer to her smiling form, ‘You know,I was eight years old when the first movie came out.” she murmured, “Leo and Mikey went to watch it and I remember being so upset I couldn’t go and even more seeing how excited they were when they came back…I actually never saw any of the movies in a movie theater. I was under thirteen.”

“Well, you can now.” he saw her smile widen and the way she bounced a bit on the balls of her feet with excitement, turning to look over the top of her head to the rooms where the first movie would be screened, “Come on.” he offers her his hand, the other holding all the snacks he got - yes he did get a some chocolate, he’s a grown man who has absolute control of his sweet tooth - as they make their way inside.

This time there were more people than in the Alien movies, which wasn’t surprising considering how popular LOTR still is. Some were dressed like characters, he saw at least five Gandalfs and three Frodos from where he was. Beatrice was still smiling, holding his hand tightly until they found their seats. They sat down and Rooster immediately placed the popcorn between them, alongside the snacks that were way cheaper than an actual cinema. He already liked that.

While they waited, Rooster’s hand met hers across the seat, rubbing her knuckles soothingly then bringing it up to his lips to kiss the back, smiling at her. Beatrice smiles back, squeezing his hand as they waited for the movie to begin, his girlfriend’s leg bouncing anxiously, waiting for the screen to turn on almost as if she was ready to run to the projector area and turn it on. 

The second the lights turned off, one by one, the cheers that erupted from the crowd almost deafened them, but Beatrice didn’t care. She shook his hand excitedly, “It’s happening!” she squealed in a quiet voice, “I’m going to watch LOTR in a movie theater!!!” Honestly, just seeing her happy like that was more than he could ever ask for. His enamored eyes only left her smiling face when the first scene finally rolled in. He honestly was so used to reading the books - which he still hasn’t finished, not because he didn’t want to but because he knew if he started nothing else would be able to snap him out of the iron focus - that rewatching the movie after so long was interesting.

Unlike Beatrice, who was too young to watch it, he was fifteen when the first movie was available, he ended up going with some of his school friends there but he could remember only a few scenes - very vaguely too. But he had a feeling he’d be reminded of quotes and moments just because of Beatrice.

He sneaked another look her way, seeing her lips move alongside Gandalf’s monologue in his very first appearance. Her face lights up like the fireworks in the Shire, her legs still moving excitedly while she is still seated, it was like watching a young Beatrice finally be able to live her dream of watching her favorite movies the way she always wanted to. He knew the movies were long and if she wanted they could watch all of them since they got there around afternoon.

His day at work was stressful but he didn’t want to tell her about it, especially not when she looked so happy. It was just another day where something went awry and his temper flared a bit, but it was quickly resolved. Right now he could relax and forget whatever bad it was that happened, choosing to keep his eyes and senses on Bea and her thrilled energy. 

Every time a certain scene would come up, Beatrice would either mouth her lips along or she’d lean closer to him to say how it compared to the book. Beatrice’s pure giddiness over watching one of her favorite movies was so…lovely to see. He knew that the first time they came here, their very first date seemed longer than seven months ago. He never told her but he was a bit nervous, which rarely happens when it comes to going out with someone, he really just wanted to show her he genuinely liked her and wanted to be with her.

-

Rooster entered the flower shop with his hands sweating, he still had a few minutes before he showed up at Beatrice’s house to pick her up. He had never been this nervous, maybe when he was younger, but never as an adult. He scratched the side of his neck, looking around the different floral arrangements hoping to find one that really called Beatrice’s name.

He dug his hands in his pockets, looking back at the woman on the cash register who was busy helping other customers to pay attention to him. Should he even get something already made? Something in him said to find flowers that reminded him of Beatrice and ask the lady to prepare him a bouquet. He wandered around the aisles, the smell of different flowers hitting his nose at every step, still trying to find something that could represent Bea the best.

He wracked his mind trying to think: she was really sweet, every time her cheeks turned red his heart did backflips, she was beautiful yet extremely bashful about it. She was great at volleyball and she smelled like lavender. He blinks when the word appears in his mind. Lavender! That’s a great option! It reminded him of her…but he needed something else, something more. He looked around for a few more seconds, then his eyes stopped on a tiny bucket filled with fresh daisies and he smiles.

There it was. It was perfect!

It wouldn’t be a big one and he hoped she wouldn’t mind, which he had a feeling she wouldn’t, not really. He waits until the customers from before leave, then approaches the lady on the front explaining to her what he wanted. The lady, who looked to be around her early 60’s, gave him a knowing smile but nodded, telling him to wait at the counter as she gathered the flowers.

Bradley’s stomach was flipping back and forth, somersaulting almost with nerves and excitement. How long had he tried to talk to her? A long time, and she always ran away from him, he never gave up because he really, really liked her. It wasn’t the normal kind of infatuation you’d get– well, it was a crush, he was crushing hard on her for these past months so…to him, what was about to happen tonight was very special. 

He hasn’t had a crush in ages and now at the ripe age of thirty six, here he was. He looked down at his watch just to check, easing out a breath when noticing he still had quite a bit of time before going there. Bradley smiles politely back at the lady when she returns, the bouquet being done quickly before his eyes and she asks him if it was for someone special, “Yeah,” he answers, watching her quickly wrap all those flowers inside the paper, “It’s going to be our first date and I want to make a good impression.”

“Well,I think you’ll do fine. Lavenders represent devotion and calmness, while daisies represent new beginnings.” she tilts her head up when she finishes both her sentence and the bouquet, “So I have a feeling you’ll do just fine.” He laughed softly, dropping his head sheepishly, thanking her once he grabbed the flowers and paid her. He looked down at the small floral arrangement, it really looked so much smaller in his hand, being careful to not crush the stems or crinkle the paper too much.

He sets it down on the passenger seat, almost as if the bouquet is a passenger itself, making sure it wouldn’t be squashed on the drive over to Bea’s. He sucked in a breath, easing some of his nerves and trying to focus on the road instead of how much he wanted to give her a good time tonight.

The scene yesterday broke his heart. genuinely, he’d never want to see her crying like that again and he was shocked she thought he was asking her out on a date because he was feeling bad for her. He knew she had self esteem issues even from the way she acted around him and the others, but him especially, but he didn’t think it’d be…so bad. If she asked that it meant that…it happened before and God that thought was just going to make him angry.

No, they were going to have a nice night, they were going to have fun and she’s going to enjoy herself. He parks the Bronco in front of her house, looking at the lights on the second floor where her loft was, “Okay.” he rolls his neck and shoulders, grabbing the flowers and stepping out. 

He hides his arm behind his back, wondering how he could wait for her. Standing by the door was fine, but what if he leaned over? Yeah. Yeah that was a lot better. He smiled hearing her voice froming from inside after she heard him by the door, keeping himself together when the doorknob turned and she appeared in front of him.

-

Seven whole months. 

He was extremely thankful of how their relationship developed over the time they were together, especially when it came to Beatrice being comfortable around him and comfortable around her own body. It was amazing to see the growth in both of them really, both of them were more open with their thoughts and words, they talked like any healthy couple should do and they figured things out.

God he wanted to marry her.

It took him some thinking, but he was decisive about it now. Especially after talking to Mav. Their leases would turn by the end of the month, so they should try and look for places now so they could move out. Not to mention the surprise birthday party he,Evelyn and Shells were working on.

Surprisingly how the blonde didn’t open her mouth to excitedly tell others - aka Bob - about it. So far everything was going well, so all he had to do was wait for the right time. His eyes turned to her ring finger, the same one wrapped around his hand alongside its siblings, trying to check what size she would be.

She rarely used rings besides the one in her thumb, so he wondered if she had any jewelry in her place he could take a look. He didn’t want to snoop, but he also didn’t want to tell her about it yet. He just looked at her by the corner of his eye, smiling down at her elated face and then leaning back on his seat completely, deciding that he should watch the movie now.

-

“Did I tell you what my future nephew or niece will be named?.'' They left the movie theater a few minutes before midnight - absolutely starving because popcorn does not fill anyone’s stomachs like that -, had a late dinner by the same taco truck they went before and now were walking around to help with digestion. 

Rooster smiles down at her, hugging her to his side to press a kiss to the top of her head, “No, tell me.”

“Eowyn if it’s a girl or Aragorn if it’s a boy.” she says, making Bradley chuff out a soft laugh and pull his head back from her own, “I’m serious! I mean,I don’t hate it but, imagine the things this child will go through in the future!” Beatrice sighs, “At least Bibi is okay with it now, she’s even excited to be an older sister.”

“I thought she might.” Rooster adds, “It’s just something for her to get used to you know?” Beatrice agrees with a nod, holding his hand with their fingers interlaced, “When is it going to be born?”

“According to Cyn, around October.” she says,”It’s going to be so cute. I’m kinda excited to be an aunt again.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah! I like kids and I like my nephews and nieces.” he knew that he could see the way she was around them, especially Bianca. “It’s…really fun.” he noticed how her voice faltered just a bit at the end of her sentence, but she kept on smiling.

Beatrice held the words ‘but it’s weird being the only one without a child besides Michael’, she never told Brad but her mother has been…very specific ever since Leo announced the second baby. The last time she visited by herself her mother offered her tea, she was very vocal about how she should take all of it before she left. 

It took one sniff to figure out what it actually was: red clover tea, a herb that’s known to help with fertility and pregnancies. She knew that because her nonna used to have some in her garden and would always prepare some tea for her siblings and months later they’d find out they were to have kids.

While she…appreciated the thought, she wished her mother wasn’t so insistent about it. Yes, she had Bradley now but she couldn’t just…do it…without talking to him. A lot was going to happen before that, a whole lot so she gently cut her mother off and tossed the tea down the drain when her mother got busy enough.

“Michael doesn’t have kids does he?” Rooster asks when they pause their walking to watch the sea in the distance, the waves larger and louder because of the full moon, “I always saw him alone.”

“Oh, no, Michael is the ‘cool bachelor uncle’.” she air quotes with a shake of her head, “He just…well…he’s never had an actual long relationship. He also likes the single life a lot more. He prefers it, really. He’s always the one that helps the kids with stuff like…first dates, first…I don’t know, first time drinking, first time driving. He likes to be part of that.”

Michael was always the wildest of them all, thinking of him settling down…with anyone was a bit hard to imagine. Not because he couldn’t be loving, but because she didn’t think whoever his partner was would be able to handle her older brother’s caffeine induced personality most of the time. They always joked that Michael was Mambo Number 5 if the song was a person.

Which does make sense in a way.

“I think a girl tried telling him he was the father of her kid.” Beatrice explains, “I don’t know,I was really young when it happened and, you know, he was going to step up to it and be a dad but then eventually it was found out that he wasn’t the father and he got…really upset. I think he just gave up after that.”

“Honestly from what I’ve seen of Michael he doesn’t seem too bummed about it.”

Beatrice smiles softly, crossing her arms below her bust with her eyes still on the waves, “Oh he’s not, I think he’s gotten used to it now. He even told my parents to not expect grandchildren from him.” she laughs gently, but her cheeks redden at what the words suddenly implicated and hoped that Rooster wouldn’t get it.

But he just takes in the information in silence, if he noticed something within it he doesn’t say it, instead he looks down at her with a smile, “At least they have everyone else instead huh?” he says and Beatrice nods, facing the ocean alongside him. Beatrice then sighs, tucking strands of her behind her ears as she feels the wind pick up around them.

He took that as his cue for them to go back to the car before it got worse, placing his hand on the small of her back and shielding her from the harsher gusts of wind until they got back inside the Bronco.

-

Rooster spent the night over, since he didn’t think it’d be wise for him to just go all the way back to his apartment just to sleep when he could enjoy the lovely company of no one other but his girlfriend. Plus some of his things were already there, so why not? He did wake up very early, earlier than he normally did whenever he spent time there and his body was a bit confused by what was happening.

Beatrice however surprised him, because she was up before he was, sitting on the kitchen chair with Jolene lying by her feet, waiting for the coffee maker to be done. He runs his hand over his face so he’d wake up, leaning against the doorframe to watch Beatrice since she hadn’t noticed him yet, her own eyes blinking hard to keep herself awake. He smirks, pushing himself from the door to step into the kitchen, the sound of his footsteps finally making the brunette snap her eyes in his direction, “Oh, hey.”

‘Hey,” he grins, leaning down to kiss her temple, “What are you doing up? You know I have to wake up really early during the week.” she hums, leaning into his kiss with the same sleepy look on her face, watching him open the cabinets to grab their mugs from inside.

“Just wanted to be here with you.” she says quietly, almost slurred, leaning on her hand to support her head up, thanking him when he places the Ponyo mug in front of her, “Thought…” she yawns mid-sentence” Thought I better get used to it.”

Because they were going to move in really soon, god she was so sweet, “Baby, you don’t have to. I know how much your sleep means to you and you need your rest.” but he did appreciate her being with him, he really did. “Do you want me to make you breakfast then? I can whip something really quick.”

“No, no it’s fine.” she inhales, rubbing her face with both hands, tapping her cheeks to wake up fully, then blinking her eyes open, “I can do something, what do you usually take before going to work?”

Bradley thinks about it, following her hips’ sway as she walks to the fridge, tilting his head to the side to have a better look of her behind, “Honestly, considering the time now…I’d probably have scrambled eggs and coffee.”

“No bacon?” she questions, already grabbing a few eggs with her body leaning back from the fridge “Okay,I can do that.” 

“You don’t have to, baby.”

“It’s okay!” she tells him, gently placing the eggs inside a blue porcelain bowl, “I don’t mind it, really.”

“Okay…only if you promise to go back to sleep after I leave.”

“Oh, I don’t even have to promise that.”

Both of them laugh at the joke, with Rooster leaning on his hand now, watching Beatrice prepare him scrambled eggs with a smile on her face. This would be routine for them, she was right, and he too had to get used to it, ‘So,” he begins, “Maybe this week we can look at some places.” she keeps on moving the fork rapidly inside the bowl to mix the eggs, but looks over her shoulder to where he was seated, “You know? And get some things  settled.”

Beatrice smiles, pouring the eggs inside the heated pan, “I’d like that…considering the time we’d have to do it too.” she was very excited, she couldn’t believe it, her stomach was flipping with happy nerves and the pure joy of living together with Rooster. With the man she loved! It’d be a completely new experience for both, but since they already talked about the basics - finances and whatnot - this would be really fun.

She places the scrambled eggs on a plate, sliding it over to Rooster and kissing his temple, “I’m going to get your coffee.” she whispers on his hair, kissing his forehead and then stepping back to fill his mug. Bradley could only smile with his heart filled with so much love for this woman he didn’t know what else to do, besides,well, anxiously waiting for the moving day to come.

He’d have to tell Mav, he figured that keeping that secret from him wouldn’t be wise especially considering they’d need help moving everything to the new place, and his godfather would never forgive him if he found that out by anyone that wasn’t him. So, that was going to be the plan for that day, talk to Mav about the move in with Bea and hopefully Pete wouldn’t cry when he finds out about it.

Beatrice joins him for the rest of breakfast, choosing to not eat anything yet since she felt she’d just fall asleep soon after she was done, she just sat with him and they chatted about everything they should do until the fateful day…and Beatrice casually said something about celebrating her birthday, loving if they could do to the karaoke bar she and the girls went when he was deployed last time.

He was mentally cheering that she said that, because it was one of the options he thought about and now he could talk to Evelyn and they could organize this easily without hiccups. He noticed that over time Beatrice’s words slowly got quieter and quieter, with her eyes fighting to keep awake and her hand turning more into a pillow and something to support her head up.

He finishes his breakfast in silence, seeing that Beatrice was now fully asleep while on the kitchen table and smiles to himself, gently placing the plate in the sink so it wouldn’t make any noise and then picking a snoozing Beatrice out of the chair in bridal style, tsking twice so Jolene would follow him.

Rooster carefully places Beatrice back on the bed, tucking her with the bed sheets and leaning down to kiss her cheek, “Sleep well gorgeous.” he whispers, “I’ll see you later.” he looks back down at Jolene who was now seated by the end of the bed, “Keep and eye on her, Jojo.” he playfully pets the pitbull’s head, before disappearing into the bathroom to change and get ready for work.

#bradley rooster bradshaw #rooster bradshaw #bradley bradshaw x oc #top gun maverick #bradley bradshaw x reader

[emordnilapxpalindrome]

it (chapter two): spoilers without context

#yes I know this movie came out seven months ago but I just saw it now so suck my ass #it #it chapter two #it chapter 2 #spoilers without context #no context spoilers #it chapter two spoilers without context #it chapter 2 spoilers without context #spoilers with no context #it chapter two spoilers with no context #it chapter 2 spoilers with no context

[kecpdriving]

The Hurting Kind - Rafe Cameron

The turbulence of yours and Rafe's relationship leads you to find out that your love is the hurting kind of love.

pairing: rafe cameron x fem!reader | pls reblog & like <3

word count: 6.1k

warnings: toxic relationship, fighting, anxiety, guilt, drug use (cocaine), drinking alcohol, party, puking, mentions of sex, swearing, unhappy ending, 18+. I wrote 95% of this off of personal experience and am in no way romanticizing or glamorizing toxic relationships.

loosely based off of hurting kind by del water gap

if you feel like you may be triggered by any of this or by reading about a toxic relationship, please skip this. you are loved. if you ever need to talk or are struggling with this, reach out to me if you need anything.

-

“They really can’t stay away from each other,” Sarah watched her brother and best friend cuddling on the couch. “They’re both just going to get hurt in the end. Again.” She said to Rose who only hummed in agreement. Sarah knew she was right and she hated it.

You and Rafe didn’t have the healthiest relationship. It was off and on and when it was happy, it was great. You both would feel on top of the world. When it was bad though, you both felt like crawling into a cave and never coming out. It always ended that way and then a few months later you’d find your way back to each other. Sarah saw it as some type of forbidden love or a painful scene that she can’t keep her eyes off of. She loved you both and she’s tried to tell you how bad you are for each other but you've never listened.

The only time you stayed broken up the longest is when you moved to college in Boston. It lasted seven months. You had met someone else in the city and really liked him. You were so happy but you pushed yourself away from him. When Rafe found out that you weren't with him anymore, he flew out to Boston almost immediately. Soon enough you were back together. That was a few months ago and you two have been doing well, but everyone knew you were about to crack.

You were leaving for your second year of school in a month. That meant that something was going to happen between you and Rafe. Everyone knows the patterns of this relationship now. It’s been happening since you were sixteen. Nothing ever changes no matter how much you and Rafe try.

You guys try so hard. It tears you apart so much, but you’re in love. Rafe was your first everything. You’ll never forget your first kiss. He was walking you home from a movie and stopped in the middle of the road and just looked at you. He went in first, you were scared but in an excited way. You went in to meet him and bumped your head a little bit, but then he laid his lips on yours and nothing had ever felt so right. Ever since that night, you loved Rafe. It killed you when things got bad, but they always did and you knew it was bad and that your friends and family were sick of it. Rafe Cameron was like a drug you couldn’t quit.

“Y/N, they’re staring,” Rafe whispered. “It’s getting weird.” He knew why Rose and Sarah were staring. He felt the same way you did. He knew, they knew, the whole island knew but he just couldn’t shake you.

You giggled, “So let’s go upstairs.” You swiftly got off the couch holding Rafe’s hand and pulling him up with you. You two were very affectionate with each other. Always holding hands, cuddling, kissing anywhere but never too much. He kissed you quickly on the cheek as you pulled him up the stairs.

When you reached the middle of the stairs, you heard the voice of Father Cameron, “Rafe Cameron, you keep that door open. Dinner is in 45 minutes, do not be a minute late.” Ward was strict, almost too strict. He had two adults who couldn’t breathe.

“Sir, Yes, Sir.” You couldn’t help but laugh at Rafe’s reply and the sound of Ward’s sigh. When you got to his room, Rafe made it a point to slam the door and lock it.

Rafe came close to you and held your face in his hands. He was beautiful, a true sight to look at. His eyes shined in the dim light and a smile was plastered across his face. His smile. You loved his smile. You thought it could be put on display in a museum. Rafe would disagree. He always argued that someone should paint you because it would get just as or more than famous as the Mona lisa. You were true beauty in his eyes.

The feeling of Rafe’s lips against yours still overwhelms you everytime. They moved perfectly against yours as if they were made for each other. So soft and gentle but somehow still rough. You had goosebumps across your whole body and you couldn’t figure out if it was because of how cold his room was or because his big hands were touching every inch of your body. He was holding onto your ass and his other hand was caressing the small of your back and teasing the hem of your shirt.

“Just fucking take it off, please, Rafe,” You spoke breathlessly against his mouth. “I need you.”

With that you were bare in a minute. The only thing that never died when you and Rafe would break up is your desire for each other. You guys still hooked up when you were split but that’s a secret for you. The sex was always mindblowing. You never did anything too wild. Sometimes in the car parked at the beach, bathroom at a party, once in the pool, but nothing crazy. You knew each other's bodies like your own. Rafe knew just where to touch you and when to do it. You knew exactly what to say and how to move. It was like your bodies were made for each other.

A little while later, you laid in his bed covered with a thin sheet. You were looking into each other's eyes while his thumb caressed your face.

“You need anything? You feel okay?” He always cared after. Always made sure you were okay.

You smiled at him, “I’m okay, Rafe. I don’t need anything right now.”

“You’re sure?”

“Yes, I’m sure.”

He looked deep into your eyes and gave you a kiss on the nose. “Remember when we first found out we liked each other? You were sixteen and it was my seventeenth birthday. I always remember that pink skirt you wore. It looked beautiful on you. I was so anxious the whole night waiting for you to show up. I kept asking Sarah and she said, “Why do you keep asking, Rafe? What do you like her?” and I told her. I’d never seen her so mad and when she started to go off, you walked in-” You cut him off.

“And she took my hand and dragged me to the bathroom and started ranting and going off about you and I asked why. She told me so calmly and continued her vent but I started crying. “Sarah, I like him too. Don’t hate me. You’re my best friend.” and she stormed out and you were standing there.”

“And I asked you what happened and you broke down more and kept apologizing for how you felt. I told you I felt the same way. You know, Y/N, I knew I liked you for a year before I told you.” You gave him a big kiss on the lips. He made you feel so warm.

“I love you, sweet girl.” Your heart began to race again when you heard those words. You hear them everyday but it never gets old.

“I love you too, sweet boy.”

You stayed there for a few more minutes but Ward was definitely already pissed and you guys couldn’t be late for dinner too. Rafe watched you quickly throw yourself back together but it was nothing like earlier. You were sweaty, your clothes were uneven, and you forgot your bra but Rafe kept quiet about that. You still looked beautiful though.

Dinner was nothing shy of painfully awkward. You ate as fast as you could so you could go home and escape the anger and annoyance that Ward gave off. He wasn’t pleased with you or Rafe and hadn’t spoken a word the entire time. Ward didn’t dislike you, but he knew his son deserved better and he was right. His son did deserve better.

-

A week went by and you were still on your streak of happiness. You and Rafe were headed to a party at the boneyard. He had his hand on your thigh as he drove because he knew it made you crazy. You didn’t really want to go to this party, but it will be one of the last times you see all your friends from the obx for a while.

This one was big. There were people everywhere and it overwhelmed you. Usually, you and Rafe will split up at parties because you have different friend groups. He was all kooks. You weren’t a kook and you weren’t a pogue either. You were comfortably in the middle of the two and had friends from both sides. Your childhood and current day best friend, besides Sarah, was JJ Maybank, a pogue.

“Hey, I see JJ. I'll see you later, yeah?”

“Of course, sweets. Go have fun, I love you.”

“You as well. I love you too.”

You ran up to JJ and gave him a big hug. He’d been on a fishing trip the last month and you missed him more than words. JJ was your rock. You never had any siblings, but he was your brother. He hates you and Rafe together. JJ spent too many nights calming you down from sobbing and holding you after heartbreak. He can’t really stand Rafe, he never has. JJ never found Rafe to be any type of interesting or remotely a good person. Even when they were kids JJ has always felt this way and the way he treats you only adds to that.

He handed you a drink and you took it no question. You had no plan to get drunk, but it progressively happened. You mostly hung out with the pogues and Sarah joined because she has a raging crush on John B and won’t admit it, it's lasted years and they won't admit they're in love.

You could feel Rafe’s eyes on you as you danced with Kie. He could stare all night, making it his duty to know where you are at all times.

JJ came and stole you from Kie. You wouldn’t dare dance with JJ in any inappropriate way. You’d never grind on him or get too close. But you were holding hands and jumping around like fools laughing your asses off. JJ stopped and hugged you for a second because he gets lovey when he’s drunk and that’s it. Someone came over to you two to say hi and that’s when JJ put his arm around your shoulders and you held onto his hand. That’s when Rafe stormed over.

To say Rafe had a jealousy problem would be an understatement and it’s definitely led to your relationship's downfall a few times. You were drunk, so you didn’t realize the anger in Rafe’s walk over to you.

“Y/N, come on. Now, we’re going.” He was stern. He was mad. “Y/N.” He was just drunk. and being his jealous self. You hated the way. he was speaking. to you. “Y/N, come on.”

You shook your head, “No. I want to stay with JJ.” The look on Rafe’s face was cold and angry. He was steaming. He didn’t see you as property or thought that he owned you, he just didn’t like when other men touched you. He thought it was fair.

“Of fucking course you do.” Rafe raised his voice which started to draw attention. “You always want to fucking stay with Maybank.”

“Yo, Rafe, chill. She’s just having fun.” JJ was standing up for you but that just fueled Rafe. “I can walk her home later. I don’t mind taking her to yours. She just wants to hang out, man.”

Rafe chuckled, “Y/N, you want to stay? Fine. I’m sure you’ll be like this with all the guys in Boston anyway. All up on them.” That was a stab in the chest to you. Did he really think of you like that? “Didn’t take you long to find a new guy last time.”

“Rafe, calm down!” His sister chimed in. “You’re freaking out for no reason.”

He wasn't just drunk. When you looked into his eyes, you saw it. They told a whole different story. You saw it in the way his eyes were dilated and his behavior. He was erratic and aggressive, had too much energy. He was shaking a little bit and sweating a lot. He told you he wasn’t doing it anymore. He was on coke again. You weren’t scared to be around him, but you hated when he got high. He was different each time but usually argumentative and aggressive as seen.

“No reason, Sarah? She’s letting this fucking pogue touch her, dance with her, holding his hand.”

Sarah rolled her eyes, “It’s not like that, Rafe.”

“Then let Y/N tell me how it is.” He turned to face you.

You cleaned off your tear stained cheeks before talking, “He’s my best fucking friend. He’s my brother. And don’t bring up Boston, Rafe. That was different.”  Rafe didn’t say anything. He walked away.

Last time was different because Rafe told you to find a city boy. He wanted you to have someone in the city and to be genuinely happy with someone. What you didn’t know is that Rafe secretly hoped you wouldn’t find anyone. He wished for your happiness, but it killed him that it wasn’t him supplying it. Even though he told you to find someone else, he felt a burning in his chest everyday and an emptiness he never felt before. You missed him too but it hurt less after a little bit of time went by.

You tried to stay and calm down with your friends but Rafe left and you knew he’d try to drive. You said bye quickly and drunkenly ran to where Rafe had left his car. “Rafe! Do not get in the fucking car.”

“Why not, Y/N? I’m fine.” He was not fine. He was crying, slurring his words, and couldn’t stand up right. “I’m good. Go back to Maybank.”

You tried to take the keys out of his hands but he was too quick. “Rafe, seriously. It’s not funny. Give me the fucking keys.”

“Or what?”

“Or you die or kill someone else or both if you drive drunk and high. Let’s walk home together.” It took him a minute, but he gave in and handed you the keys.

The walk to his house was quiet for a while. You were so embarrassed because of him. Why would he do that? In front of everyone too. You’d never been more humiliated.

“Rafe, I’m just gonna drop you off and walk home after.” You told him.

“Why?”

“Because you fucking humiliated me? You said mean things about me.”

He stopped in the middle of the street and angrily sighed, “Give me a fucking break, Y/N. I’m so sick of Maybank being all up on you. He’s into you.”

“So what if he is, Rafe? I want you. I fucking go back to you like an idiot every three months. Obviously I don’t want anyone else,” you stopped for a minute. You needed to breathe. “You know what? I wish I stayed with that guy from Boston. He wouldn’t have embarrassed me like that. He wouldn’t make me feel the way you did, Rafe.” He just stood there saying nothing.

“You know you looked like your dad tonight? Being so stern and mean. So cold, Having no respect. Acting pathetic over nothing. But the way you spoke--whew, that was all your father. I saw it in your eyes, Rafe. You are Ward.” You knew that would get to him. He didn’t hate Ward, but he kind of did. Being compared to him makes Rafe crazy.

To say you had a problem of saying things out of pure emotion that you’ll regret later is an understatement. You yell, you don’t mean it. You say things, you don’t mean it. But there's not much fixing it. You always regret it. That had also led to the downfall of your relationship a few times.

“Y/N--” he held himself back from saying something he would regret. “ I’m just gonna walk home. Don’t fucking follow me.”

“Didn’t plan on it, Rafe.”

-

Once you got home, you noticed JJ sitting on your front steps. You’d sobered up by now and replayed everything over and over a million times by now. When you saw him, you broke down in tears. He took you inside and sat you down on the couch while you sobbed.

He replayed all the moments he’s done this before. It’s the Rafe and Y/N pattern. JJ will never forget the first one. You’d been dating four months at that point. You had hung out with an ex-fling in a group of other friends but Rafe had focused too much on the ex-fling that he got so jealous he flipped out. That was also the first time she yelled at him. JJ couldn’t shake how similar it was right now. Y/N cried in JJ’s arms that whole night.

“I hate him when he does things like this,” you cried. “Why does he have to hurt me when he gets jealous? Why do I have to say stupid things?” You couldn’t stop crying. JJ just rubbed your hair and held you close to him.

“Because your love is the hurting kind.” JJ said softly.

“The hurting kind?”

“You know, the love that hurts. You know it’s bad for you, you let it devour you. You know it’s wrong and that it’s hurting you. If you ignore it, it’s fine, but you’re just living a lie.” JJ was right. Your love with Rafe was the hurting kind, but you couldn’t help it. He was your Rafe, there was no letting go.

JJ comforted you as you cried even more. Nobody wants to hear that their relationship is toxic, even if you already knew that yourself. You cried so hard it felt like your eyes were going to fall out of your head. The pounding in your head was making you cry more because it hurt so bad. It felt like your brain was trying to break through your skull and the pounding was loud in your ears. You were sweating and felt like you were going to be sick. It was probably the alcohol but the guilt of what you said to Rafe was building a knot in your stomach.

When you felt your mouth begin to water and the acid from your stomach building in your throat, you ran as fast as you could to your bathroom. Barely making it, you bent over the toilet and let the contents of your stomach spill out into the bowl. JJ ran in and grabbed your hair and rubbed your back slowly to try to comfort and calm you. You continued to gag and belch for a few more minutes.

“Was that because of him or the alcohol?” JJ knew the answer. You’ve gotten sick over fighting with Rafe many times. Guilt eats you alive so badly to this point. You never told him either. He wouldn’t react badly, but you didn’t want to hurt him by telling him he does that to you. Communication was not a strong point in your relationship.

You looked at JJ with the saddest eyes he’s ever seen you have. He knew your heart ached, but his hurt so badly for you. He didn’t want to see you sob yourself into a migraine or see you get sick over a man who couldn’t hold himself together with tape or glue.

You wiped the tears away that were soaking your cheeks and sighed, “Both, I think.” you leaned against the bathtub and closed your eyes. The cold from the porcelain brought a comforting chill to your body. “He was on coke, JJ.”

JJ rolled his eyes and slumped against the wall. He knew Rafe had a problem with it and he remembered you telling him Rafe was sober and how proud you were. He couldn’t stress the amount of hatred he had for Rafe. Every day he hated him more. He will always be dysfunctional and it makes JJ sad for you. But as much as he hated Rafe, he felt bad that he was doing drugs again. He saw that Rafe could be a good person sometimes. He treated you well when things were good. But he remembered when Rafe’s drug addiction was at its peak, and Rafe treated you like shit.

“That doesn’t mean it won’t be like last time.”

“But what if it is?” you questioned.

“You need to break up with him for good before you go to school. This isn’t healthy. He needs to figure his shit out and so do you, Y/N. I love you, man, and I'm saying this because you’re basically the only family I have and I don't want to see my family crying and throwing up over some kook.”

You gave a sad smile to the blonde boy in front of you. You were each other's family and if a girl was doing this to him, you’d be saying the same things to him. You just didn’t know if you were strong enough to break up with Rafe and never be with him again.

You had a lot to think about. What would be better for you and for Rafe and how to go about the situation. As you sat against the bathtub, things started to fall together. Plans you had in place for Boston came back to you, plans for your life. Rafe's best interest at heart filled your head. You know what had to be done and in the long run, it’ll be good for both of you.

-

As the days went on, Rafe had been ignoring you. He did this most times you fought. It felt like he was punishing you more than anything and that just wasn’t right. He never wanted to talk it out after a fight and not to point fingers, but you felt like it was his dad's fault. His father couldn’t deal with being the one to apologize or else he would be seen as submissive and he raised Rafe with that mindset. You felt bad for his wife sometimes. The Cameron men were not easy to deal with. Sarah warned you of that too and sometimes you felt stupid for thinking you could change Rafe. You thought you really could.

As you walked to Tanney Hill, you thought back to the times where Rafe treated you badly. The words he said were ingrained in your brain and you may never forget them. He loved you, but he couldn’t handle his emotions because he was taught to repress them. His anger ran through him like the blood in his veins and he had no idea how to control it. You’ve tried to give him the benefit of the doubt but it was time to stop making excuses. It’s never escalated to the point of publicly humiliating you. You could make excuses for him, but that crossed the line.

You thought about the times where Rafe would get upset with you for little things. Forgetting to get cream in his coffee, or being late to golf with him. One time you didn’t pick up the phone and he didn’t talk to you for the whole day. When you guys started talking again while you were still in Boston, he made you share your location and you had to tell him who you were with and what you were doing. You didn’t realize now that he was being toxic then. You thought he was concerned about your safety if something happened but he just didn’t trust you telling the truth about that guy not being around.

He would get upset if you spent too much time with Sarah too. He would get sad and made you feel like he wasn’t worthy of your time and that you preferred his family over him and sometimes you did. There were a hundred other things coming to your head now. It was all the little things adding up to one big thing.

You knew you weren’t an angel either. You yelled and made unnecessary digs at him. You didn’t trust him very much either and you made it clear in the past. Sure, you weren’t as bad as Rafe, but there were times where you did hurt him just as much as he hurt you.

You recalled a time where you were having a horrible day and Rafe was actually doing everything in his power to comfort you. That for some reason annoyed you. You’ll never forget the look on his face when you started screaming at him and telling that he was in your way and making your day worse. You told him everything he was doing wrong in his life and in your relationship which at the time was nothing. You were lashing out. There were a lot of moments like that, the other night being one of them. You tried to justify it for yourself, but you knew it was wrong.

You’ve gotten jealous too. People on the island swoon over Rafe. You could understand why, but when they do it at parties when you’re fifteen feet away getting a drink, you couldn’t help it. To be polite, Rafe engaged in the conversation and always brought you up in it. He did that every time, even if you weren’t around. He understood the nausea that builds up and how your skin begins to burn when jealousy starts up more than anyone. You didn’t start fights or embarrass him, you just begged to leave even if you just got there and maybe gave him a little attitude but not for long. This time didn’t compare to anything else. For multiple reasons, this, as miniscule as it may seem, sent you over the edge.

You knew you had anger almost as strong as Rafe’s and you could be jealous too, but it wasn’t like that this time. He broke a promise about staying clean and you knew how hard that could be but you thought he could. You were upset over it, not disappointed. You love him, want the best for him, but you won’t put up with this behavior anymore. Especially if he was doing that again.

You took a deep breath before walking in. It seemed that Ward and Rose were off somewhere and Sarah and Rafe were nowhere to be seen. You needed to talk to Sarah first. You saw Wheezie curled up on a chair in the living room scrolling through her phone.

“Hey, Wheeze,” you called to her softly. She looked up and smiled at you. You loved Wheezie. You and her were close. She was like the little sister you never had and you will miss her a lot. “Do you know where Sarah is?”

“I think she’s in her room. Is everything okay, Y/N?” You didn’t know how to answer that. Nothing was okay, but you couldn’t look at her and tell her what you came here to do.

Holding back a tear from falling, you smiled at the girl, “Yeah, just having a bad day. I’m gonna head upstairs.”

You took your time walking up the stairs where just days prior you and Rafe laughed and kissed. The good times. God, you wished so much that your relationship was always like that. You remembered prom night. You came down with Sarah from her room, seeing John B and Rafe at the bottom of the steps. Rafe had the biggest smile on his face. The biggest one you’d ever seen on him. He was stunned by your beauty. He made you feel like a princess that night.

Every Valentine’s day, he’d bring you the biggest box of chocolates he could find along with the biggest teddy bear. It became your favorite tradition. He would bring you on a romantic date and topped it every year. Rafe was a romantic. He loved bringing you out on dates and randomly bringing you flowers in the middle of the week for no reason. He loved surprising you  with weekend getaways and throwing rocks at your window when he’d sneak out to see you in high school. One time, he really did hold a boombox outside your window when you were mad at him for something so stupid you couldn’t  even remember. You couldn’t stop laughing at how dumb he looked, but that’s when you realized you really loved him.

You loved doing small things with Rafe. It was tradition that every sunday morning, you would cook him an omelet while he cooked you banana pancakes. You’ll miss that. You would call him late at night and ask to walk the beach and he would be at your house in a second. You loved holding his hand tight while walking with him. He would spin you around in the sand and sometimes pretend to put you in the water. He only did it to hear you laugh. You loved taking him on picnics or going on drives or dancing in his t-shirts in his room. There was a lot of good in your relationship with Rafe Cameron, just not enough to save it.

You knocked gently on Sarah’s door. When you walked in, you saw her writing in your journal. “Hey, can we talk?”

Sarah knew. “You’re breaking up with Rafe.” She looked sad, she was. Sarah was a bit relieved though. “It’s for good this time, right?”

You nodded and let the tears flow out in one sob. You plopped down on her bed and cried for a few minutes. She held you tight and let her head rest on yours. You didn’t want to try, it wasn’t in the plan. You thought you’d be a lot stronger than this.

“Don’t hate me,” You cried. “I love him, but not enough to keep doing this. You’re my best friend, Sarah, and I needed to talk to you first. I don’t want this to ruin us, okay? I still want to be in your life and Wheezie. I just can’t be with him and I can’t be here often because-”

“You don’t trust yourself around him. You’ll get back with him if you’re constantly here.” She read you like a book. She was your best friend after all. “So, you’re leaving for Boston sooner than later and you’re gonna stay there. Come back to visit over Christmas and a couple times in the summer?”

You nodded, “You know me too well, Sarah Cameron. It was time anyway. I felt like I belonged there, you know? I fit in and have friends and I love the city and my school. My friend asked me if I wanted to get an apartment awhile ago and I called her last night and she wants to go ahead and do it still. It’s time all of this with Rafe stops. It’s time I become my own person, okay? But I want you to know that I love you and nothing will change that. And that you and JJ need to visit constantly.” Tears spilled out from your eyes.

Sarah held your hands while she cried. “I am so happy for you. I will be there all the time, I promise. It’s gonna be good for you and Rafe, okay?  I know you’ll miss him and god knows he’ll miss you, but it’s better this way. You need to be happy and I’m so thrilled you’ve found it in Boston. Rafe needs this too. I love you, but he’s better off.”

You agreed. He was better off. “Do you know where he is?”

“Yeah, down by the doc.”

You got up to go find him. This was it. You put your hand on the door knob and stopped yourself for a second, “Before I go, you should know that Rafe was on coke the other night. Just keep him safe, okay? He had a bad problem last time, Sarah.  I don’t want him to-” You couldn’t even say it.

“I know, me too. Thank you for telling me.”

You made your way down to the doc while wiping away the tears that just wouldn’t stop. You didn’t want him to see you cry. You had to stay strong. When you stopped to take a deep breath, you spotted him. He was sitting there with his hands in his lap and dangling his feet over the water. He looked so sad but relaxed.

“Rafe,” you spoke so softly you weren’t sure he heard you. “Can I sit?” Rafe nodded slowly. You sat a comfortable distance from him but still close enough that he could reach out for you.

You heard him take a deep sigh. “Listen, I’m sorry. I fucked up. I love you more than anything, alright? I’ve been humiliated to even reach out to you because I have no idea how I could fix it.” His voice broke and he let tears escape. He was being genuine. Rafe did love you, but you couldn’t give in.

“You can’t fix it, Rafe. The way you treated me in front of everyone… God, Rafe, that was humiliating. You told me to date in Boston. It felt like you basically called me a whore. And JJ is like my brother and you know that.” You took a second to breathe before you freaked out. “And everything else, Rafe. All the fights, jealousy, digs at each other, ignoring each other. It’s-- it's too much. It hurts. I can’t-- we can’t ignore it anymore.”

“This wasn’t a visit to make up, was it?” He asked.

Fuck. Here come the tears. “No, Rafe, it wasn’t.”

“Fuck.” You heard him sniffle.

“Rafe, I can’t put either of us through this anymore. And as much as I love you, I won’t put up with your behavior anymore and you don’t deserve to put up with mine. I also can’t put myself through you doing drugs again. That wasn’t your first time since being clean, was it?”

He shook his head. “It’s not like last time, Y/N, please. Don’t do this.” “I can’t trust that, Rafe. And even if it wasn’t, I can’t do this anymore. You are my love, but the love isn’t worth it if it’s going to make me feel this way. You deserve happiness, Rafe. In every way possible, but I can’t supply it anymore. Not ever again.”  You broke. Your heart sunk into your stomach and the tears came out stronger.

“I understand. I want the same for you,” He let out a loud whimper, “I’m gonna miss you.”

You reached for his hand one last time and held it tight. “I’m gonna miss you too.”

You stayed there for a while. You both cried with each other, neither  of you could leave. Your hands were sweating, but you couldn’t let go. How do you let go of your first love? How do you just leave them sitting there? You were afraid to get up because when you did, it was official. No more sunday breakfasts, no more sweet valentine days, no more picnics or late night walks. No more rocks at your window or surprise weekend trips or random flowers. It was over.

Rafe broke the silence, “Why does it hurt more than usual this time?” “Because it’s the last time. You know, Rafe, a friend told me our love was the hurting kind. The type of love that you know will hurt you if you go back to it. We know how bad it is, but we ignore it and act like it’s fine but it’s killing us. We let this hurting type of love devour us. No matter how much we love each other, we will always end up hurting each other.” He knew you were right.

“Quick before you go, Y/N, can I kiss you?” You nodded quickly. You could handle it. You needed it.

The kiss was tender. Rafe held your face in his hand, his thumb wiping the tears off your cheek as he caressed it. Your lips were plump from all the crying and they felt softer than normal. Your mouths moved together slowly and softly. You couldn’t stop it, but you needed to. It felt so good to kiss each other, so natural, but this time, it didn't feel like your lips were made for each other. You rested your foreheads together for a second. Holding his cheeks in your hands, you left one more soft kiss to his lips and one to his forehead.

“I love you, sweet girl.” He whispered quietly. You let go of him and got up. He turned away from you.

“I love you, too. Goodbye, sweet boy.”

#rafe cameron fic #rafe #rafe cameron #rafe obx #rafe cameron x reader #rafe cameron x y/n #rafe outer banks #outerbanks #outer banks #obx #sarah cameron #john b #outer banks fic #rafe imagine #drew #drew starkey #drewstarkey #rafe x y/n #rafe x reader #outer banks imagine #rafe cameron imagine #outer banks fanfiction #obx fic #rafe fanfiction #rafe fic #rafe fanfic

[tonystarksfavoritedaughter]

Prompt/idea for a Simu x fem!Reader fic: maybe something cute + fluffy where they both have major crushes on each other (maybe she works behind the scenes as a writer on sets). One day they go out with a group of their friends to a karaoke bar and while she’s very shy, he manages to convince her to sing “A whole new world” from Aladdin with him? 🥰 It’s obvious to everyone that they’re crazy about each other and by the night is over they finally kiss. Pretty please?? ♥️

I cannot tell you how much I adore this!! Also sorry it took so long!

Karaoke

Simu Liu x Reader

Warnings: swearing (I think), kinda heated kiss, Simu and Y/N are so whipped for each other

Word count: 2508

“Action!”

Everyone quieted on set as the actors got into place. The room was dark as Simu started his scene. He put on the exhausted look his character needed and walked into his bathroom and immediately took his shirt off as he entered the shower. You saw it all, and you were up close. He was sculpted like a Greek God. You watched as the water droplets pelted off his skin and into the drain. You worked on the camera crew and that meant that he was always close to you.

Okay, maybe you were attracted to Simu. A lot. It wasn’t entirely your fault though. Ever since filming started months ago, you developed your crush for him. He was so sweet on your first day, and he was especially helpful as it was your first movie. You told him how nervous you were on the first day and he sat down and ate lunch with you. That day on, it was routine for you two to eat together.

Simu stepped out of the shower and dried off as his phone started ringing. “Hello?”

“Garrett Fisher?” The voice on the other end said.

He twisted his face in suspicion like the script said. “This is he.”

“We need to talk.”

“Look, I don’t know what happened, but I wasn’t a part of Chandler’s plans. I had no idea what he was going to do.”

“Cut!” The director yelled. You finally relaxed in your spot. “That was great! Let’s call it a day and everyone have a good night.”

You quietly started packing up your camera setup.

“Sup, sunshine.”

“Hi Simu,” you dragged out with a smile on your face.

He came closer to you, but something about his demeanor was off. He had his hands tucked in his pockets, shifting from one foot to another. “Me and a group of friends are going out for some drinks and karaoke, if you want to join us?”

Was this really happening; was he asking you out? You’d be a fool not to say yes. You had been dreaming about this scenario for months, hoping he would ask. “Yeah, yes, that sounds great,” you downplayed.

“Awesome,” he smiled. Damn that cursed smile. “I’ll pick you up at seven if that’s good?”

“Absolutely. I’ll send you directions.”

This was happening. You were going on a date with Simu Liu. Well, going out with him and a group of friends. Oh god, what if this wasn’t a date? This could all be just a normal get together, and he probably didn’t even like you like that.

But when he came over, he was nervous. He never seemed nervous around people, and he said he would pick you up. That’s what they do on dates right? Either way you were terrified. What if you said something weird and he wouldn’t talk to you after? You were a weird person after all, so it wouldn’t be uncommon. What if his friends didn’t like you?

You pulled yourself out of your mind before you could spiral anymore. You raced home, trying to have time to get ready as it was 5 o’clock already.

When you got home, you immediately went to change into something more appropriate than leggings from the hard work day. It took you twice as long to get ready as you were constantly overthinking your outfit. Dress or pants? Who knows because you didn’t. Soon, seven o’clock came and you were panicking. Though you didn’t have anytime to change again as you heard a knock on your door.

Don’t be nervous. You opened to find the most handsome man in the world. Simu was out of his character's clothes and into something so much better. To most people, normal everyday jeans and a shirt was not attractive. But when it came to Simu, he looked so beautiful. He wore a somewhat tight navy blue shirt and his hair…his hair was what you called his most amazing feature. Other than his eyes and personality of course. But his hair was styled back except for one curl that hung above his forehead.

“Hey,” you breathed out.

He smiled and you didn’t miss his once-over with his eyes. “Hey. You look beautiful.”

You felt your cheeks beat up. “Thank you. You do too.”

He laughed a little. “Are you ready to go?”

“Yeah, let’s go.” You grabbed your phone from the couch.

He led you to his car and opened the door. What a gentleman. He started driving and turned on the radio.

“You like music right?” He asked.

“No, I hate it.”

His eyes widened as he turned off the radio. “Oh I’m sorry-“

“I’m kidding,” you laughed. “Thought you had a sense of humor?”

He smiled back at you. “Oh I do, don’t worry,” he winked at you and you felt your face grow hotter. You noticed how he was tapping his fingers against the steering wheel. How he would constantly glance over to you.

Is he nervous? Wait…what if? “Are you okay?” You asked him.

“Yeah,” he nodded, “totally fine. Why wouldn’t I be fine?” He laughed. You stared at him for a moment. “Okay maybe I’m not fine.”

You scrunched your eyes. “What’s the matter?”

“It’s just, I’m nervous about tonight.”

“Why?”

“Because I’m on a date with a beautiful woman who’s right next to me.”

Your face burned hot. “Y-You think I’m beautiful?”

“Of course. You wanna know the reasons we keep having to reset all the time?”

You nodded your head.

“Because I was too busy staring at you. I would lose focus and forget my lines, all because of how great your hair looked, or the way you were so focused on your job.” He glanced over at you and saw how wide your eyes had gotten. “Shit, I’m sorry; I overstepped, didn't I?”

“No!” You quickly said. “That’s - that’s really sweet, Simu. To be honest I’m nervous too.”

Now it was his turn to look at you, if only for a second. “Really? You can’t go stealing my thunder now.”

“No it’s just, I haven’t been on a date in a few years,” you admitted.

“Years?”

“It’s because I’ve been so focused on my career. I wanted to go to college and find a job on my own, and once I did that, I wanted to solidify it. That meant almost no time for myself so how could I find time for someone else, you know?”

Simu places his hand on top of yours. “I get it. I used to be like that,” he smiled.

“So we’re both out of the game huh?”

“Yeah. I guess we are.”

The rest of the drive was spent listening to the music of the radio until Simu stopped the car at the bar he was telling you about. You could tell it was popular because of the amount of people lined up and inside.

Before you could even unbuckle your seatbelt, Simu was out of the car and opening your door once again. The amount of times you blushed around this man was unfathomable. But who could blame you? He was the sweetest guy you had met not to mention hot and was acting like an absolute gentleman.

From the outside, the bar smelled of yeast from the dozens of beer being drunk inside. Lights hung around the perimeter of the awning above you. People stood, having casual conversations with friends outside. It seemed like the perfect spot to get with friends.

He walked you into the bar and led you to a table with people already sitting and drinking.

“Simu!”

“Ronny!” He yelled back. “How ya been, man?”

“Good, good,” he turned to you, “who’s this pretty lady?”

You held out your hand. “Y/N.”

“Oh,” he dragged out the word as he shook your hand. “This is the girl you won’t shut up about!”

You looked at Simu right as he shot Ronny a death glare.

“When’s Nora coming?” Simu asked his friend, completely ignoring his comment.

“Uh, her and Meng’er should be here any minute. Drinks?”

“Yes please,” you answered. “Simu, you want a drink?”

He moved around the table to walk with you, as Ronny winked at him. “God yes.”

You both walked up to the bartender. “Strawberry Soju for me. Y/N?”

“Piña Colada thanks.”

“Colada?” Simu asked.

“Don’t judge, Mr. Strawberry Soju.”

“Hey, soju is what’s keeping me going.”

“Now you know my stance.”

The bartender brought out your drinks fairly quickly. You practically moaned at the taste of it as soon as it hit your taste buds.

Simu gave you a look and laughed. “Save that for the second date.”

Hope bursted throughout your chest. “Second date?”

“If you’ll have me.”

“Depends on how good your soju is,” you teased.

You walked ahead of him, but nonetheless heard him say “oh, we’re getting a second date.”

When you got back to the table, three new people had joined.

“Oh my god that’s Awkwafina,” you said in awe. To say she was your favorite was an understatement. You watched almost everything she was in and fell in love with her comedy and charm.

“Yeah and that’s Meng’er and her husband Yung,” he explained.

“Holy shit,” you whispered.

Meng’er’s eyes lit up as she saw the two of you. “Who is this lovely lady, Simu?”

Ronny answered for him and wiggled his brows. “That’s his date.”

You smiled shyly as you introduced yourself to the group. They all said their hellos and asked you the basic questions. What was your job, how old were you, how long had you known Simu.

“Uh, about three months, I think?” You looked at him as answered.

Nora almost spit out her drink. “It took you three months to ask her out? For as much as you talked about her I thought you would’ve asked sooner.”

“Did they all know about me?” You asked as you quirked an eyebrow at him.

He rubbed the back of his neck. “Okay I may have told them about you. A few times.”

Your heart bursted at his words. He really did like you. All six of you were deep in conversation when the manager of the bar came out. She tapped the microphone that sat on the stage in the back of the room.

“Hello everyone, my name is Shauna,” she started, “I hope you are all enjoying your night as it is about to get a whole lot better. Tonight is karaoke night so please sign up right here,” she motioned to the table next to the stage, “if you would like to sing!”

Ronny got up from his seat. “Nora! You and me. Backstreet Boys!”

“Oh hell yeah!” She yelled excitedly.

Yung looked over to his wife. “Babe, do you want to sing?”

She shook her head. “I just want to watch the chaos,” she laughed. “Simu! You and Y/N should.” She wiggled her eyebrows at the two of you, hoping for a yes.

“Uh, sure, yeah. If Y/N wants to?”

Oh no. Karaoke. With the guy you're on a date with. You had no idea if you were bad at karaoke. You never tried in front of others. But the way you could see in his eyes, hoping that you would agree, you had to. Who cared if you were a little shy? Okay you did, but that wasn’t the point. Besides, it would probably be fun.

“What the hell,” you shrugged. Simu smiled at you as he went to the table in the back to sign you up. He didn’t say what song, but he looked like he knew exactly what it was going to be.

A few minutes later, Simu returned to the table. Shauna the manager came back on stage and announced who would be singing first. “Ronny Chieng and Nora!”

The lights came up on the two of them. Their music started and you could tell they went extra in it. Nora grabbed the microphone, “Everybody,” she sang.

“Rock your body,” Ronny came up behind her.

They sang in unison. “Backstreets back, alright!”

You laughed as you watched their performance. They looked like they were having a blast on the stage.

Everyone clapped as they finished their song. Shauna walked back up to the microphone. “And now, Simu and Y/N!”

Your table cheered you on as you both walked up. Nerves struck you as you passed all the people in the bar. Simu looked at you.

He leaned into your ear. “Hey, you good?”

“Yeah, just uh, nervous.”

“Are you okay?” he looked at you softly. “You don’t have to do this, you know.”

“No,” you gave him a small smile, “I’m okay.”

He wasn’t totally convinced, but handed you a mic all the same. The lights dimmed and soon, all you saw was him. “I can show you the world,” he sang, “shining, shimmering, splendid.”

You watched him get lost in the song. He held out his hand, and smiled as you took it. “Tell me princess, since when did you last let your heart decide?”

For the one hundredth time that night your face heated up at him calling you princess. You knew it was only because of the song, but the way he looked at you when he said it, well, you were a goner.

You were completely lost in him. The way he sang, his voice, the way he looked at you like no one else was there. You must’ve lost track of time because it was your turn to sing.

“Oh uh, a whole new world,” you sang. Simu smiled as he watched you go. He saw how you looked at him and only him. You were beautiful in his eyes. He canceled out the rest of the bar, all the people that weren’t you.

The song was done, but you and Simu weren’t. He led you off stage, and took your hand. “That was amazing!”

“Thank you,” you said shyly.

“And,” he scratched his neck, “you’re amazing too.”

He said it so softly, you almost didn’t catch it. “What?”

“You’re amazing, Y/N. Tonight was one of the most fun nights I’ve had in a while.” His eyes flickered to your lips, and yours did the same. “Can I kiss you?” he breathed out.

You nodded your head and he instantly crashed his lips onto yours. They moved in a perfect rhythm. Simu’s hand went to your waist as your hand went to his hair. You wanted this for so long. So many work days where you longed for him, wondering what his lips taste like. Days of longing glances and unsure brushes of your fingers, it all led to this one moment of pure bliss.

His tongue brushed over your lip and you opened your lips more for him.

He pushed you more into the wall, lips still attached to yours. His tongue explored your mouth and groaned as you tugged on his hair. He pulled away, breathing heavily. “You wanna get out of here?”

“Please.”

#simu liu x reader #simu liu fanfiction #simu liu fluff #simu liu angst #simu liu smut #shang chi fanfiction #shang chi x reader #shang chi x fem!reader #marvel fanfiction #simu liu #shang chi

[tomboy-writer]

Prompt: Chris Evans story where your boyfriend is a cheating douche-bag. He cheats on you time and time again and you get into a bit of a depression. You confide in your best friend, Chris Evans. His consoling leads to sex, the sex soon turns into a regular thing and you get happy again. Your boyfriend sees your change and promises that he will never cheat again and that he will treat you better. You’re happy but sad at the same time because now you have to break things off with Chris. But Chris won’t have it; he says that you should stay with him and not your boyfriend. You’re not sure of which decision to make, so Chris lists off reasons why you would be better off with him.

Chris Evans x black!reader

A/N: my first Chris Evans story!! Let me know what you guys think of it.

A/N 2: I started this story a few years ago and it took me a long time to finish cause I was on a very long writing hiatus and didn't finish this until earlier this year, so some of the story goes off of what the summary says and I decided to turn this into 2 parts (could be more, depending on how long the 2nd part is). So no smut in this part, just angst and dumb jokes. This also originally wasn't going to be a black reader story, but seeing how my ACTUAL 1st Chris Evans story went pretty well (the Game On story) I decided to make it another one cause I love it.

C/W: angst, swearing, my dumb jokes, 3rd person story (it hurt my brain to write it this way, but I wanted to try something different)

“He did it again, Chris! Michael cheated on me with some big titted chick,” Y/N said as she sobbed into her best friend’s shoulder.

Chris rubbed his friend’s back, trying to calm her down. He knew how to handle situations like these since Y/N went through so many of them with her boyfriend. Chris thought her relationship with Michael was like a broken record: always repeating itself. It was good at first with the couple being so obviously in love, but that changed six months later when Michael decided that Y/N wasn’t enough and started to cheat on her with multiple women. Y/N had been given advice by Chris countless times about guys like Michael and she listened to him, she really did. But she always ended up forgiving her unfaithful boyfriend and enjoyed the makeup sex that Michael would give her after.

“He and that big titted chick can both go to hell for all I care,” Chris replied. Then he lifted his friend’s head from his shoulder and made her look directly in his eyes. “Hey hon,” he said using his ‘friendly’ nickname for Y/N. “I think it’s about time you dropped that lame ass zero and got yourself a hero.”

“Okay, Captain America,” Y/N chuckled while wiping her face.

Chris laughed too, but deep down he was really hoping that Y/N would actually consider dating him. They met seven years ago and became fast friends. But the bearded actor didn’t count on falling for Y/N a few years later when he was doing an interview for one of his new movies and Y/N was there to help support him and make sure his anxiety didn’t get the best of him. While in the middle of the interview, Chris started to feel a little fidgety, so he tugged on his ear; a sign that told Y/N that he needed her help. She was standing right behind the cameraman, so Y/N could see everything that Chris was doing. She saw the signal and started to make some weird faces for her best friend.

Y/N made Chris and the interviewer crack up that day, especially when she stood right behind the cameraman and started to bulge her eyes out at him, making him laugh as well. At that moment, Chris realized that he had found that special someone. That special someone that he wants to spend the rest of his life with and just keep forever, never let go. 

Y/N was sweet, considerate and loved Disney movies and dogs as much as he did. So he felt that she was just perfect for him. He even started to mentally kick his ass for taking so long to realize this.

The interviewer asked Chris one last question before he had to leave.

“So, Chris, is there a special lady in your life? Ya know, besides your mother and sisters,” she asked.

Chris chuckled and looked right in Y/N’s direction with a bright smile on his face. “Well, I don’t have anyone yet,” the blonde answered, his eyes never leaving Y/N’s, “but I’m looking for her.”

“Chris? Chris, did you hear me,” Y/N asked suddenly, stopping Chris from remembering the day he fell for her.

Evans shook his head no. “Sorry, I zoned out for a few seconds.”

Y/N rolled her eyes. “I said I would love to find a new boyfriend, but I’m still in love with Michael.” Chris rolled his eyes this time. “Don’t do that, man. I can’t help that these are my feelings for him.”

“But what are your feelings for him right now! Aren’t you sad? Pissed? Or feeling like you just wanna punch that douche-bag in the face so hard that his face caves in a little bit?”

Chris’s friend nodded her head yes and started to sob again. He felt bad for making Y/N cry; he would never want to make her tears fall from her eyes unless they were tears of joy. He grabbed Y/N and embraced her for a few minutes until she was calm again. Once was she was, Chris pulled away from Y/N enough to look her in her eyes.

“Hey, promise me that you’ll forget about that douche for at least two weeks and just try to find someone better. Okay?” Chris begged with sincerity in his eyes. 

“Okay,” I promise,” Y/N complied.

Chris kissed Y/N’s head and, after saying goodbye, left his friend’s house for the night.

           * * *

Chris returned to Y/N’s house a few weeks later. He rung the doorbell and heard a faint ‘it’s open’. Evans opened and closed the door behind him and blushed at the sight in front of him: there stood Y/N, wearing only a pair of boy shorts and an over sized t-shirt, no makeup. That’s when Chris thought, no knew, that Y/N was the most beautiful woman out there.

"Hi Chris," Y/N greeted her best friend with a warm hug and a kiss on his cheek. Evans couldn't help the blush that crept onto his face. He also couldn't help but to imagine if he and Y/N were together and he'd come home from being on set all day long, her greeting him the same way she was now except that she'd try to pull back a little to ask him about his day. But Chris would hold his lover in a tight embrace, kiss her so lovingly, so passionately, and ask about her day instead.

Yeah, Christopher Robert [Jamal] Evans would love that.

"Hey, Y/N," Chris replied as he breathed in the embrace. "How've you been lately?"

"A little bit better; not fully okay, but I'm getting there I think," Y/N answered.

Chris shook his head in disbelief. He knew when his best friend was lying to him. "Y/N," he whispered, "I can see in your eyes that you're hurting more than letting on. You sure you're doing fine?"

Y/N's smile was quickly replaced with a small frown. "I'm doin' fine, Evans," she answered, mocking Chris's Boston accent. "And, before you ask, yes I have went on a few dates with other guys; three to be exact. First guy wouldn't shut up about his ex-wife; like I was supposed to be his therapist or something. Second guy -this gorgeous dreadhead- we connected and shit, but he too wouldn't stop talking about his ex and his table manners were terrible." You rolled your eyes before finishing your list. "Last but not least, I went on date with Mr. I-Got-Tons-of-Money-Baby. We didn't connect at all and I'm sure it was cause of his cocky attitude and the way he talked down to people -it was disgusting! " The dateless woman flounced into her big living room and plopped down onto her L-shaped sofa. "Trying to find a new man is pointless, Chris. Either I start dating women cause why the fuck not!? Or I just give up on love all together."

Chris chuckled but then nervously cleared his throat after he came up with a great -but what he also thought was a heart attack inducing- idea. "Y/N," he stammered.

"Yeah, man?"

"If the whole thing with you dating females doesn't work out, but you still want to try to find love, then I know exactly who you should date next."

Y/N gave Chris a questionable look. He didn't say anything back, just raised an eyebrow and grinned mischievously. It took Y/N a few seconds to understand what Chris was talking about. But once she did, her mouth went into an O shape, showing her shock and surprise.

"Are you serious, Evans," Y/N exclaimed; eyes now wide as golf balls. "You wanna date me!?!"

The actor chuckled. He didn't think that his friend would be so shocked by his words. "I've been wanting to date you basically almost ever since we first met, Y/N. I just- -I just never knew what to say to you about it, or if you felt the same way or not and if you didn't then I didn't want to ruin our friendship, or if you did feel the dame way but then something bad happens to us down the road and then that messes with up our friendship and then there's the thing with paparazzi..." Chris was rambling on and on but Y/N was listening to everything he was saying. Hanging onto every word that was coming out of her best friend's mouth.

Y/N had never known that Chris had felt this way about her. It wasn't that she was completely oblivious (well, maybe a little), but she also never saw any signs of her friend being in love with her. Wait. Was Chris in love with Y/N? As far as she knew -or as far as she thought from what she was told so far- this was just a crush. A crush confession that apparently was a long time coming. She wondered how she felt for Chris; did she have the same feelings for him like he did for her? When they first met, all Y/N cared about was how Chris acted as a person, not as Captain America or as an actor in general. But as Chris Evans, an everyday man. Y/N knew, after that one day of meeting Evans, that she wanted to be best friends with the man, nothing more and nothing less. But now, with Chris' confession and continuous ramblings, Y/N was having different and a little bit confusing thoughts.

Sure Chris Evans is an very attractive man, physically speaking. But Y/N doesn't care about looks -much- when it comes to dating or anything for that matter. She thinks what makes people attractive is their personality more than anything, and she knows Chris has the best personality she's ever seen from a person. But she wasn't sure if she was ready to date him or anyone else for that matter. Although, if Y/N was going to date more, then Chris would probably be her number one pick.

"So, what do you say, Y/N," Chris asked, hopeful.

______________________________________________________________

And that's the end of part 1, everyone. Part 2 will be posted....probably next week or so. It is currently one of my WIPs so I'm definitely working on it.

But what do ya'll think will happen next? What will Y/N's answer to Chris be? Will she say yes, or will she say no? Who knows??? Except for me; I know. Also, you're Y/N; Y/N is you, so you better hope that you say something positive back :P Anyways, I hope you all enjoyed this! Thanks for reading!!

#chris evans #chris evans imagine #chris evans smut #angst #black writing #black reader #chris evans x black!reader #friends to lovers #chris evans fanfiction #christopher robert jamal evans

[books-and-catears]

Right everyone hold on to your feels, you will shortly be boarding Angst Express 101. Just look at this brilliant and angsty ask I'm speechless. Even the pairings you asked for are so unique and well thought this is a perfect angst concept. And I really hope I could do this justice. Thank you so much for this ask @saltypaperdestiny

So very sorry for the delay, this was the longest ask I've ever written and boy was I delighted. Though I have to admit I had to cry through some of them myself. This is PART 1. Rest of the brothers and the newly Dateables coming soon in part 2.

Who loved you first? Pt1

Lucifer : Simeon

It was time, he decided. After months of being in your presence, his prideful heart had melted enough to recognise his feelings for you. You were the only he'd truly humble down for, because the affection and care you displayed was unparalled.

"MC please get dressed in something nice. I'm taking you to Ristorante Six as a thank you for helping me with Cerebus and the council paperwork" He says to you, barely containing the excitement. He couldn't wait to see the look on your face when he confessed and how you'd blush when you kissed your knuckles and your cheek and wait - What is Simeon doing in your room at this hour?

He didn't want to interrupt, surely it might be nothing to bother about. He patiently waited outside until he heard what Simeon said.

Simeon: MC... You look beautiful, what's the occasion?

MC: Aw thank you Simeon. You're always so kind. It's nothing much, Lucifer is taking me out as a thank you.

Simeon: Oh do you have to leave right away...?

MC: Oh no no. It's okay I have some more time.

Simeon: Well I originally came here to invite you to try Luke's latest attempt at some new recipes but now there's something else I feel like I must tell you. *Blushes* Something I've been holding back for too long.

MC: *joking* Oh what have you been hiding from me, angel? Speak I beseech you!

Simeon: *laughing and then going solemn* MC... *Takes your hands in his* I love you. I love you with all my heart.

MC: ....me? You love..me? But I'm not nearly-

Simeon: You're the most beautiful soul I've ever met. You radiate kindness and forgiveness and everything pure, overcoming the seven biggest evils you reside with. How can I not love you? Tell me, MC, will you accept me as yours?

Lucifer had a half a mind to storm in and laugh in Simeon's face. What a failure this attempt was going to be. His pride grew inside him as he stifled a laugh. MC was his and only his and now he would take pleasure in watching Simeon learn that. Surely MC was going to turn him down nicely but still. He creeped closer to the door, looking through the open crack.

MC: *in tears* Oh Simeon, I love you too! I never thought an angel could ever love me back!

Simeon: *kisses her knuckles* So... It's a yes?!

MC: Yes yes yes! Oh of course it's a yes! *Hugs him tight* My guardian angel who protects me in the dark, oh how I love you.

Simeon: *laughing as he picks you up and spins you around* Oh how happy you've made me MC! I'm the happiest being alive!

MC: *kissing his cheek* So am I, Simeon. I love you with all my heart.

It took Lucifer all his strength to not collapse or go into a violent frenzy. He balled up his fists so tight, the gloves started tearing at the seams. He watched you smiling so gleefully in his arms, looking so radiant. When Simeon dipped his head down to kiss you, the moonlight poured in through the window as if blessing your union.

It was supposed to be him. If only he made it to your room sooner, it could have been him. Embracing all your beauty, being the cause of the shining smile. IT COULD HAVE BEEN HIM.

At his best

"Are you really that happy with him?" he asks you later that night. The blush on your cheeks and that cheeky smile says it all.

"Congratulations MC." You look so joyous even at the thought of Simeon, how could he ruin that?

His temper is worse, more unforgiving towards all his brothers. He has to bear with your absence in the house all day. The fact that he knows you're at Purgatory hall, sipping tea and arm in arm with him pains him to think.

You bring Simeon along to the council to help him too. He outright denies and asks both of you to leave.

He only ever feels calm to see you alone, but that is even rarer with his brothers around to hog his remaining time.

Eventually makes his peace with it, maybe you're better off with someone as pure as yourself than a demon like him.

At his worst

His wrath is back. It's almost bad enough to birth another Satan. His sense of entitlement is through the roof.

He snaps three weeks later when Simeon and you tell everyone about it and decide that you'll be moving to Purgatory hall soon. Everyone claps and rejoices while Lucifer, drunk off Demonus, crashes the fun.

"Simeon, you dirty cheat, pretending to be all pure with your white wings and devious smile. How dare you?!" He says in calm and deadly rage.

"Lucifer... what's wrong-" You approach him to ask. He looks at you and you see the little tears in the corners.

"MC WAS SUPPOSED TO BE MINE THAT NIGHT. MINE. NOT YOURS. THE ONLY BEING THAT CAME CLOSE ENOUGH TO STEAL MY HEART AND YOU TOOK HER AWAY FROM ME."

Lucifer was louder now, hysterically angry, throwing his glass on the floor. "AND I KNOW THEY WOULD HAVE PICKED ME IF I GOT TO THEM FIRST! I LOVED THEM TOO DAMNIT." Simeon stood in front of you to protect you from Lucifer's rage. You hid your face in your hands, breaking down in sobs. What is happening? Where did you go wrong?

"Look at them, Lucifer. Look. At. What. You've. Done. And don't tell you've forgotten how many times you've threatened their lives before." Simeon said, holding you tight as you cried into his chest. "How dare you still feel like you deserve them?"

Lucifer sees you broken down, clutching onto Simeon for dear life, crying. You were smiling just a minute ago what has he done? Simeon blocked off his view with his pearly white wings. A reminder of what Lucifer used to be and cannot be again.

Mammon: Asmodeus

You were his human. And he was your first demon. No one was more territorial about you than him. So he finally made up his mind to seal the deal. No more lying about his feelings. He was going to claim you, once and for all. He imagined you smiling and running your hands through his hair and kissing him returning his feelings.

"MC! I brought the movie of the day!" He barged into your room excited, but you were nowhere to be found. Where could you have gone? It was your movie night with him. You were supposed to be waiting for him inside. He asked his brothers and they said you were with Asmo. He stomped his way up to Asmo's room and called out your name. No response. Not till he peeked inside the dark washroom. You were holding Asmo who looked very unstable and weak, sitting at the side of the bath.

MC: Asmo why don't you listen to me when I tell you not to drink so much!?

Asmo: I'm sorry MC *hic* I needed it today...

MC: Why? What's so scary that you don't have the confidence to do sober?

Asmo: MC do you think I look beautiful?

MC: Of course Asmo, you always do.

Asmo: Even with my runny make up, red nose and swollen eyes and this horrible complexion?

MC: *grabs his face* You're always beautiful to me MC.

Asmo: I...I stopped sleeping around MC. I couldn't do it anymore. *tearing up* Because to them, I'm only beautiful with a perfect covered up face.

MC: Asmo...they're blind and shallow demons who don't know anything! I know you, and I know how much more beautiful you are inside out. Don't listen to them.

Asmo feeling insecure about his appearance? What a big fat lie. Is this his new ploy to get to you? How irritating. It's not going to work, Mammon knows you're smarter than that. The Avatar of Lust can manipulate in many ways. Surely his human was smart enough to see through that!

Asmo: MC, I knew you were the one only who truly loved me. And today, I found the one I love too. Much more than I love myself. So I needed a drink to tell you this.

MC: Asmo...

Asmo: *holding your face gently* MC you saw past this pretty face. You saw the things I do more than what I am. Or what I pretend to be. I know it's hard to believe coming from the Avatar of Lust... But MC, I truly really love you. *looks down and sobs* But you probably can't believe me right?

MC: Asmo. Look at me. *You run your fingers through his hair and he looks up with teary eyes* I believe you. And I've loved you too. You're the only one who never hurt me. The one who willingly made a pact with me. You've been so sweet to me since I came. How could I love anyone else?

Asmo: MC I want you all to myself. Will you be mine? Only mine? I swear I'll keep you happy always!

MC: Of course Asmo. I'll all yours. I'm your little human. *giggling and kissing his head*

Asmo: *grabs and kisses you* MC, if you want, I can be your actual first tonight.

Mammon fell to his knees. He wanted to barge in and scream. He wanted to wrestle Asmo to the ground. He wanted to break his face for saying the words that were special to him and you. But your response had him paralysed. You...accepted him. You agreed to be his.

Silent tears streamed down his face as he watched you embracing Asmo, peppering kisses all over his face, running your hands through his hair, laughing and frolicking in the water with him. The colored moonlight through the stained glass danced on their skin like a scene from his favourite movie.

At his best

He cries to himself for days. Spends as much time outside as he can.

Maybe he is an idiot for thinking he had a chance with him. How could he compete with Asmo's charms.

Maybe it hurt more because Asmo didn't even have to use his charms.

Only ever tries to talk to you if he's sure your alone. One time he barged into your room and caught you and Asmo tangled up together and it broke him all over again.

He watched as you twirled around in a new outfit Asmo bought. He scoffs. He could have bought it for you too.

You both look so cheerful and in love, he decides to accept it. For the sake of his little brother and the human he loves.

At his worst

Breaks down and lets his emotions out in the worst way possible. Too desperate to win you back somehow.

Asmo and you were just telling Solomon and Simeon about your relationship when Mammon barged in through the doors of Purgatory halls.

"MC look! Look what I got you!" He came in all ragged. He knelt down and pulled out a ring. "Take me instead! I was your first wasn't I MC? Don't let him take my place please!"

"Mammon no... No please don't be this way...I'm sorry..." You kneel down next to him as he screams and sobs like a child. You feel guilty. You caused this. You lead him on. You fight your own tears as you keep apologising.

Asmo yanks you up and wraps his arms around you, staring down angrily at Mammon. "Mammon, leave."

Mammon lunged at Asmo. "I was going to tell them. That night was our movie night. You stole that night from me. YOU STOLE MY CHANCE AND MY MC!"

Asmo mocked at him with a sardonic laugh. "You still assume MC is yours without even telling them. You kept lying about your feelings and hurting them in the process. And yet, when they finally look happy, you come and make them cry. You are a scumbag Mammon."

Mammon looked at your tear stained face, nestled inside Asmo's arms and wings. He really felt like nothing but a scumbag.

Leviathan : Belphegor

Levi fell in love with you since your first act of kindness. As a shut-in whose only conversations were with his own eccentric and dismissive brothers, you were an angel who had brought him the gift of true companionship. Honestly he was okay being your best friend, until the day he started craving more. So he decided it was time to tell you.

'MC come to my room! I have a new game to show you!' It was a virtual dating game where he was going to confess digitally. You always loved his creative ways of doing simple stuff after all. He decided to play your favourite game while waiting for you. He even left the door ajar. Now he wished he didn't.

Belphie: MC do you have a minute?

MC: Yeah I was just heading to Levi's room what's up?

Belphie: I think I fallen in love with you, MC.

MC: .... Huh?

Levi almost burst out laughing hearing Belphie's confession. What kind of a bland confession is that? How can someone say that so easily? No that was definitely a joke on MC or something. Surely MC wouldn't take this seriously.

Belphie: I had a dream just now. About you.

MC: Uh huh?

Belphie: In that dream, we were up in the sky, among the stars. And you looked so pretty glittering along with them all. So I kissed you impulsively. And you kissed me back.

MC: ...that's a sweet dream. *blushes*

Belphie: *takes your hand* I woke up and my first thougt was I wish that was real. And then I realised it can be.

MC: ...

Belphie: I want to be able to kiss you always. I want to be able to take you far away. I want all your time. I love you MC. Be mine.

MC: Belphie I-

Belphie: I know, how can you possibly love your own murderer...? *Sighs* I cannot undo what I did. I'm sorry MC. I can only swear that I won't ever let that happen again.

MC: *smiles and cups his face* You were locked away for 3 millenia I can imagine your endless anger and grief for your sister. I forgave you long ago.

Belphie: So does that mean you'll accept me?

MC: You're already mine, silly. And now I'm yours. You're the only one I can relax with in the whole realm.

Belphie: MC... Come here. *holds you close and kisses you*

Levi's game screen displayed the message "GAME OVER: You lose". Levi couldn't see it clearly. His vision was blurred by the tears brimming on his eyes. You and Belphie looked to distant shadows on the moon.

He blamed himself for even thinking he had a chance with you. But maybe just...maybe if he had gotten there before? He stared at the screen and then at his spare console that he had declared yours. He picked up it, and locked it inside. Probably won't be needing it anytime soon.

At his best

He barely comes out of his room anymore. He tries to return your smile at breakfast but then returns hurriedly, leaving Beel to finish most of his food.

"Are you sure you want to play games? Wouldn't you rather go up to the attic" He mutters under his breath sometimes and then says it's nothing when you ask him.

Pains him when he sees you curled with Belphie in random places, dozing off. Might cover you with a blanket. Just you though.

Spites Belphie. A lot of people have said they look and act alike. But somehow you like sleeping more than anime and gaming?

Just accepts it as his fate. Atleast he's still your best friend, right?

At his worst

He's called the Avatar of Envy for a reason. He can barely hold it in seeing the both of you together constantly.

Belphie you and Beel were having a jolly time watching a movie and eating snacks while Belphie slept curled up in your lap. Levi happened to walk in while you were rubbing Belphie's head soothingly.

For some reason, Levi couldn't hold it in anymore. "UGH YOU FUCKING NORMIES!" he screamed out of frustration.

Belphie woke up drowsily when you stopped at stared at Levi holding back tears in the doorway. "Levi..what's wrong.." you call out to him.

He barges in and pushes Belphie off you and grabs your hands, tears falling and him screaming. "Why do you care, MC?! I'm a just disgusting shut in otaku right?! But guess what even as that I do more than just sleep and drool all fucking day! AND MORE IMPORTANTLY ATLEAST IM NOT THE ONE WHO KILLED YOU! So why him? WHY NOT ME MC?!"

"Levi...no..." You plead with him to calm down, tearing up yourself. You should have known. You should have known this would happen.

Belphie violently pushed Levi off you and grabbed him by the collar. "You were the first one to attack MC in this house. And I'm sure you would have killed them if not for Lucifer. So stop pretending you're better than me, you ridiculous creep. A shut in like you is worthless. The only thing you're good at is making MC distressed."

Levi looked at you trying to pull Belphie back, tears streaming down your face and hung his head low. It was simply an Otome game and MC didn't choose him.

Satan: Solomon

Satan took his time to fall. With late night studying session, every cat cafe date, every trip to the museum - he fell more and more each time. To the point where he wanted to spend every waking moment with you. And he was ready to tell you.

For a whole week, he kept writing and scrapping the perfect love letter for you. Then he realised you were someone who preferred simple honesty. "MC please wait for me in the library I'll be there shortly." He'd said before he dashed out to bring a boquet of your favourite flowers and a book which reminded him of you. He'd almost made it to the library, he saw you waiting inside for him eagerly. That was until someone flew in through the window.

Solomon? What's he doing at this hour? Satan peeked in through the half open library door. He wanted to be alone with you so he'd wait till Solomon was gone. He shouldn't have waited.

MC: Solomon! You scared me silly!

Solomon: *laughing* Your face just now MC...so adorable! Like a scared kitten!

MC: You wooshed in through the window!

Solomon: Okay okay my bad. Now what are you doing in the library so late at night. I went to your room and couldn't find you.

MC: Oh Satan called me out here. Told me to wait for him. Maybe there's a new book he wants to read.

Solomon: Do you guys do that often? Reading books this late?

MC: Haha yeah usually we just read in my room or his at night, in case we fall asleep.

Solomon: *sigh* So unfair.

MC: What's unfair?

Solomon: You and I are the only humans here. Why did they put us in different houses? Shouldn't we... be together more often?

MC: Well logically yes we should. Just classes and magic lessons aren't enough! You should live here too!

Solomon: I doubt Lucifer would be okay with that. But well.. here's the real reason I'm here now. *brings out a little basket*

MC: That's...that's a kitten! Hi baby! What's her name!?

Solomon: MC.

MC: Yeah what?

Solomon: No I named the kitten MC. This way I get to call your name as much as I want haha. The silly things us humans do for love, huh?

Satan had a sick feeling in his stomach. Watching you and him sitting in the moonlight, surrounded by books, cuddling a kitten and confessing...that should be him. Him not Solomon. He didn't like where this was heading. But just like you can't help but stare at disaster - he couldn't look away. What was MC going to say...?

MC: Solomon... *blushes*

Solomon: Does my affection scare you? *reaches for your hand*

MC: Of course not...I.. *gets closer and intertwining your fingers together*

Solomon: Is this your way of showing-

MC: *blushes* Yes. I love you too.

Solomon: I believe I've lived for a 1000 years just to hear those words. *kisses you against the bookshelves*

MC: I believe you've gotten 1000 years worth of romantic lines stored away in that head of yours. *Laughs and kisses him back*

Solomon: Let's take this to the moon shall we?

Satan watched as he took you and kitten in his arms and flew out the window. Satan rushed in not wanting to lose sight of you, dropping the flowers and books. Balling his fists, he choked on his angry tears as he watched you both laughing and kissing against the bright light of the moon. He felt like his own happy ending was stolen from him.

When you disappeared from view, he let out a blood curdling scream, pulling at his own hair and knocking over the bookshelf against which Solomon kissed you. The wrath inside him made him thrashing around in pain, burning him inside out. The flowers he dropped, lay there next to his sobbing body, wilting in his pain.

At his best

He manages to put on his best fake smile and go about his day. Tries hard to hide his annoyance if you bring him up.

But you seem so happy and you often invite him to new cat cafes and shelters. So despite Solomon's presence, he feels calm because of you and the cats.

Is secretly happy you get to spend more time with him than Solomon. Takes advantage of that and hogs you all to himself while in the house

While he can't hold or kiss you the way the Solomon does, you're here next to him, reading his recommended books. That's enough to soothe his yearning heart.

At his worst

The war for love is on. He doesn't care if Solomon already won. He will still declare his love no matter what.

It started out as subtle, he did what he knew Solomon couldn't. Cooking MC's favourite dishes whenever it was his turn to cook.

Tries to subtly reinforce his intelligence over Solomon when you're around. What's 1000 years of knowledge worth, Satan has been there since the first millenia ever

But the day Solomon and you announced you'll be moving to Purgatory Hall, he charged at him, his demon form angry and glowing. "How dare you think you can take them away from us? You think you can win against us... against me? You may have taken my chance with them but I won't let you take them away! They belong here with me!"

You inched closer to Satan's form. You'd never seem him this angry. "Satan please calm down-" Satan wasn't listening. He let out a feral growl and attacked Solomon.

Solomon held MC by his side and made a protection shield Satan couldn't get through. You started crying, watching his wrath take over, he must be in so much pain.

Solomon felt you curl up against him in fear and guilt. Gritting his teeth, he grabbed Satan by the scruff of his neck, like you'd do with a misbehaving cat.

"You say you want to protect them and yet look what you did instead." Solomon said. Satan looked helplessly at you, crying with your face buried in your hands. Glancing at his horns in the mirror, he called out to you sadly, "MC..."

Solomon creeped closer and said in a deadly low voice. "You love fairy tales right Satan? Well in the story of Beauty and the Beast, they could only be together because the beast was actually a human." And Satan was far from being a human.

Asmo : Mammon

It happened the day Asmo looked into the mirror and felt something missing. Suddenly his own reflection wasn't enough anymore. He pondered what it was when you happened to walk into his room and hug him from behind. And then he found the missing piece. You. He simply had to make sure you would become a part of him now.

Now contrary to popular belief, he did get nervous while thinking of proposing. This man is all about lust and a little kid when it comes to love. It's a whole new emotion and he's unsure how to deal with it. With some advice from Satan's romance books he lights your room up with candles, groomed himself perfectly, waiting for you to return to your room. Only you don't come. "What's taking MC so long?!"

He headed out and found you in Mammon's room instead. Asmo saw in the reflection off the mirror, Mammon's shirt off and him lying on his front as you poured ointment over his scars.

Mammon: Oi MC please don't be so upset...

MC: You didn't deserve this. You didn't. I did.

Mammon: MC, not again.

MC: You took my punishment. You took the blame for the broken vase for my sake.

Mammon: I didn't want ya getting hurt ya stupid human!

MC: Don't be calling me stupid and then go off doing stupid stuff yourself! *cries*

Mammon: MC...no don't cry. Please I'm sorry.

MC: Don't apologize for this! Mammon you're too kind... You keep taking blame for others, and the others just UGH.

Mammon: I've gotten used to Lucifer's punishments, MC! I'm more used to it than my brothers so I can take it!

MC: .... You're such a sweet big brother. You can't stop protecting the people you love, can you?

Mammon: *turns around to lie on his back* Now you get why I need to protect ya, don't ya?

Asmo's eyes flew open as did yours. Mammon just confessed to you. Albeit indirectly, but really did. But he felt pity for his older brother. Sure he was caring and sweet sometimes, but mostly he was a thief and a scumbag who constantly gets into trouble. He didn't stand a chance against Asmo's charms.

MC: Mammon... You silly demon. I love you too. *Lays their head on his chest*

Mammon: *blushes and coughs* Of course ya love the Great Mammon, human!

MC: *smiles against his skin* Swear to me, you won't ever do that again else I will fight Lucifer myself!

Mammon: *smiles* He's attacked ya thrice and yer face still loses its colour whenver he's around and yet yer thinking of fighting him for my sake, MC?

MC: OF COURSE!

Mammon: But I don't want that. Ya did too much for all of us when ya sacrificed your life to bring Belphie back. I should know, I held ya in my arms. *Tears up* Ya know ye were smiling still?? So calm and undisturbed as if ya didn't care what happens to ya now that all the brothers are together?

MC: You caught me...

Mammon: And I never want to catch ya like that again, get that human!? I will be a good protector as I was meant to be.

MC: Mammon... you're far too kind to be a demon. *Kisses him and gets on top of him*

Mammon: *grips their arms and holds them close* Stay with me tonight.

Asmo watched as you nodded and took off your top and lay down over him again, your skins in gentle and intimate contact and you both wrap your arms around and you presses kisses onto each other. The moonlight danced on your entangled bodies.

He stared and stared, his insides burning with an alien feeling. He hadn't known envy till you came along. His signature move would be to call both of you out and suggest a threesome, but what you both seemed to have was impenetrable. And in the mirror where he saw your reflections, he couldn't see himself.

At his best

This demon had never known love. He might have if Mammon hadn't decides to confess that very night.

But who cares? What's done is done. It's time to root for the both of you. He still has his followers to turn to.

"Mammon finally confessed huh?" He asked jokingly. Until he saw you blush and nod.

"You both must have fun together huh?" He says with a dry laugh.

Your hugs and headpats still keep him going. He takes you buy new dresses knowing it's to impress Mammon instead.

Tries so hard to conceal his tears and tantrums around you. He doesn't want to lose the small part of you that he had left.

At his worst

He cannot stay home. The sight of you both together makes him irritated and stressed both very bad for his skin.

He drinks and parties uncontrollably, bringing home demons and succubi that always seem to resemble you.

One night, Lucifer had enough and caught him by the collar, forbidding him to go to his room. Asmo giggled until Mammon and you showed up.

He swiftly escaped Lucifer's grasp and lunged at you, holding your face between his trembling hands. You look at him closely, his make up was messier than usual, the cresent underneath his eyes was darker than usual.

"MC...look at me. Look at only me. Just for a little while." Asmo said and his eyes glowed. He'd turned on his charm on full force as he leaned into you for a kiss.

Mammon pushed him back and stood before you protectively. Asmo fell back, laughing like a maniac. "Stupid Mammon they are with you out of pity! How long do you think you can make them stay with that stupid brain and sub par beauty?"

You teared up and screamed, "Asmo stop saying things like that! You dont even know anything about him!" Mammon hugged you tight, trying to calm you down.

And then in a lowly growl he said, "Asmo don't let me see ya laying a finger on MC again. Ya would see how people really see ya if you learnt to look away from your own reflection!"

But Asmo did. He did look away from his reflection. He looked at you. Only you didn't look back at him.

Keep reading Pt. 2

#obey me angst #obey me heavy angst #obey me headcanon #obey me headcannons #obey me angst headcanon #obey me Lucifer #obey me Mammon #obey me Levi #obey me Leviathan #obey me Satan #obey me Asmo #obey me Asmodeus #obey me Simeon #obey me Solomon #obey me belphie #obey me belphegor #obey me MC

[bts-weverse-trans]

210104 Weverse Magazine ‘Be’ Comeback Interview - Suga

SUGA “I'm grateful that there are still unvisited areas in the world of music” BTS BE comeback interview 2021.01.04

SUGA has this way of talking passionately with a deadpan look on his face. Full of passion about his life and music.

How is your shoulder? SUGA: Good. I think it’ll get even better once I take off this brace. Apparently, it takes several months for a full recovery, but I'm trying to get better as fast as possible.

How does it feel like to have resolved a problem that has distressed you for long? SUGA: First of all, I'm glad. The pain is one thing, but when my shoulders got worse, I couldn't even raise my arms. But when I heard that this might recur when getting the surgery at a young age, I waited for the right time and had decided to get it done early next year regardless of the COVID-19 situation. I had planned to get the surgery after the year-end stages, but I got it done this year (2020) because my doctors advised me to start preparing early for next year’s promotions and activities.

How does it feel like watching the other members doing promotions? SUGA: I can't say it feels great. I could see the emptiness because we've been together as a group of seven for so long. Not necessarily because I'm not there but because something that should be there is missing?

Is that what made you join the promotion as much as possible? You shot lots of video footage in advance and you even appeared in the Mnet “2020 MAMA” through VR. SUGA: Fake SUGA (Laughs). There’s this 3D studio where we shot it. I shot, scanned, and acted there, but couldn't see the actual result at the studio. I thought a sense of displacement was unavoidable, and that was exactly the case. (Laughs) I acted normal because it would have been aired anyway even if I hadn’t had the surgery, but it seems a lot because it’s aired after the surgery.

You must feel restricted not being able to go on stage. SUGA: The thing is, it's only been a month after I got surgery, but my absence on stage is so apparent. But my doctors keep telling me that I shouldn't be impatient and in fact, many athletes get a resurgery when they return to the field without proper rehabilitation. So I'm working on trying to care less. For the first two weeks after surgery, I felt so frustrated that I tried out new things. I even watched movies I didn't watch.

What movies did you watch? SUGA: I watched ‘Samjin Company English Class’ as it happened to be on IPTV, and now I have ‘Tenet’ on my list. ‘Parasite’ was the last movie I saw at a cinema. As the social distancing measures became stricter, I haven’t been going outside, except going to the hospital. I even eat at home. I'm also watching a lot of TV nowadays. Watching music shows like ‘Sing Again’, ‘Folk Us’, and ‘Show Me The Money 9’ made me think of what I should do in the upcoming days.

Could you elaborate on that? SUGA: A lot of candidates on ‘Sing Again’ are very talented but hadn't had the opportunity, and on ‘Folk Us’, I noticed that many took their own guitars on stage. I started playing the guitar lately and I'm having this urge to broaden my scope of music. And since my interest in the music industry in the U.S. grew, I'm getting prepared, studying English and all.

What fueled your interest? SUGA: In some ways it’s the most commercially developed market. You could lose the industry attention in a flash if it's not feasible. So in this system, you would try everything and that would be an efficient way. I want to do music for a long time, and to this end, I always want to learn more about the global music industry because I want to do music that’s loved not only in Korea, but also in the U.S., Japan and Europe.

Speaking of which, it seems BE was influenced from music of the past rather than today's trends. SUGA: I especially like impromptu music. I love the songs that were made in one take instead of being recorded several times. In this era of crossover genres, the desire to do better in music is growing inside me.

As the genres become more blended, the melody you use must be more important. Does starting to play the guitar affect your composing in any way? SUGA: I always liked using guitar sounds. And I have always liked the Eagles. If you play the guitar, it’s way easier to write songs because you can carry it along wherever you go, pluck on the strings to create melody lines. Keyboards are difficult to carry around. (Laughs) I usually work on my laptop but I had this thought that I definitely needed an instrument. It accelerates my work and improves my understanding of chords.

It makes me think you could intuitively make melodies. SUGA: It’s easier to write a song because you can intuitively make a progression and try many different things. During my work on ‘Eight’, IU had recorded and sent me a song from her phone. At the time I couldn’t play the guitar, so we tried to make sure we’re working on the same page when keeping track of each other's progress. That made me feel the need to learn an instrument.

This is actually before you started playing the guitar, but I found ‘Telepathy’ in BE very interesting. The varying melodic progressions between hooks for each member made me wonder if you wrote the melody intuitively for each part. SUGA: I tried writing a melody for the first time this year (2020), and as I started knowing the fun of music, it opened a lot of new doors for me. So it was kind of easy working on it. I just played a beat and wrote from the beginning until the end. Done. I wrote it in just 30 minutes. The song almost wrote itself. The trends of pop and hip-hop these days cross boundaries between vocals and rap. I like this trend.

When I listen to your singing, it feels like you’re hitting the beats rather than singing along the notes. So I thought perhaps you're singing as if you're rapping. SUGA: When you're rapping, you just think of the rhythm, so it’s like simply putting on a melody to a rhythm. To define which comes first, I think melody adds to it while writing the rap.

In ‘Life Goes On’, the lyrics ‘Thankfully between you and me, nothing’s changed’ are somewhere in between. It's not rap but it’d be mundane to say it's a mere melody. SUGA: There are obviously songs where the rap needs to be highlighted. For example, in ‘Dis-ease’ or ‘Ugh!’, you have to be good at rap. But in songs that should be easy to listen to, impressive raps are not always the way to go. Sometimes, you want smooth transitions without obstacles.

In that sense, the rap flow of ‘Blue & Grey’ was impressive. Rather than a dramatic effect that emphasizes each part, you extended the rap just as much as the slowing beat. SUGA: To be honest, this beat is difficult to rap to. The beginning of the song only has a guitar line, which made it even more difficult. I participated when we wrote lyrics for ‘Blue & Grey’ and I've always wanted to work on a song like this. It was because verse 1 talks about the theme of the song.

It seems you achieved almost everything that you wanted in BE. SUGA: I think it took less than a week to make my part in the album. After having written one or two melodies for ‘Life Goes On’, I wrote a version complete with rap, and liked it that I even worked on a separate arrangement and lyrics. Rather than pondering over the ways that might work, I choose to simply play the music and write.

Many creators are unsure even after they’ve produced good work. How do you get the conviction to release your work? SUGA: Many musicians are unsure whether they should release their music or not. It was the same for me, but the thing is, you’ll never release anything if you nitpick everything. For example, if we release 10 songs, we have a chance to unveil them in concerts or fan events. And sometimes, as we listen to the song, we think, ‘Why does this part that had bothered me no longer bother me?’ Some things might feel awkward at some point, but in time, it no longer feels awkward. Even I forget about it. So it's more efficient to fine tune, looking at the big picture, rather than thinking too much about the details. On top of that, during promotions, I don’t have the time to pick tracks that others have sent for 10 hours. It would be a success for all of us if each of us play and write a melody in their own time and collaborate with others on the details. So the way of songwriting has evolved in many aspects.

What motivated such evolution? SUGA: I think it evolved naturally. I've changed in personality this year (2020), as well as in terms of my interpretation and attitude toward life to the extent that I almost thought I've been rehearsing. How would it feel like if there were no stage to go to or anyone looking out for me? This thought made me realize the value of these things.

In ‘Dis-ease’, you sing ‘I don’t know if it’s the world that's sick’. Was it this lifestyle that changed your thoughts about your work? SUGA: Yes. When I was young, I had embraced the belief that ‘It must be my fault’, but as I got older, I realized that this is not always true. Most of what I had thought was my fault was in fact, not my fault. On the other hand, there are things that I did well and times I had been lucky.

‘I NEED U’ came out during a time when you were still thinking, “It must be me”. After the members put on a stage with ‘I NEED U’ in KBS' ‘Song Festival’, you wrote on Weverse, “It’s the same as five years ago.” How would you compare with back then? (This interview was held on December 19, 2020.) SUGA: We've matured quite a bit. And our stage performances have become more natural. I still like ‘I NEED U’. Just listening to the beat makes me sentimental, and above all, the song came out nicely. So as I was watching this and that when I stumbled across old videos. Watching them made me think that we haven’t changed much.

In what aspect haven't you changed much? SUGA: Before the social distancing measures got stricter, I talked with the photographer for BE, whom I had met four years ago. The photographer was surprised that we hadn’t changed much after all the success, even though he had assumed we’d be very different.

I'm amazed personally. I’ve had the chance to meet the members before your debut, but from your way of talking with members or others, it seems you haven't changed. SUGA: I think it's because we don’t give it a big deal about success. For example, it's incredible to be ranked first on the Billboards, but there’s also this sense of, “Okay, and?”

Even the Grammys? (Laughs) SUGA: When we got nominated for the Grammy Awards, we thought, ‘Is this real?’ (Laughs) Of course we were delighted, but it didn’t make us think, ‘We're singers nominated for the Grammy.’ If you're nominated, you're nominated, and if you get the award, you get the award. You don't get shaken by that. I know it's a great award and would be so grateful if we receive it, but we know that nothing is possible without the tremendous support of our fans. What’s more important is that the fans are more flattered than us when we receive a great award. So everyone's rejoicing, but it’s like, ‘Let's do what we have to do.’ We've been training ourselves to keep finding our places, so no one remains overexcited.

In ‘Fly To My Room’, there are lyrics that say, ‘This room is too small to contain my dream’, and ‘Sometimes this room becomes an emotional trash can, but it embraces me.’ I had this feeling that the room had been such a place and that you were accepting that you have changed. Then the essence must have remained the same. SUGA: It wasn’t easy to accept that we eventually change. But I think it's a good thing that we changed. What we did back then was possible only at that time, and we could change because of the things we had accomplished.

Then, what new things are you dreaming about? SUGA: I'm eager to continue doing music. Since all performances were canceled due to COVID-19, I had a chance to talk to so many musicians in Korea. I talked with legendary singers as well as people who are my contemporaries. Talking with them once again made me realize that I love music so much. Because music is my profession, I can’t imagine myself not doing it. I'm grateful that there are still unvisited areas in the world of music.

What kind of music do you think you’ll be engaged in in the future? SUGA: I was greatly motivated when I saw the concert of Na Hoon-a last Chuseok . I wondered how many musicians would actually be able perform and write music for so long like he has. At that moment, it occurred to be that ‘I want to be like him’. He has passion and desire, and most of all, he is a superstar. A few years ago, I took my parents to a Na Hoon-a concert, and when they watched the performance last Chuseok, they said it was way less impressive to see him perform through the TV. (Laughs)

That must explain your interest in a broader spectrum of music from instruments to composing and musical genres. Because you want to be doing this for a long time. SUGA: My goal is to continue doing music in any shape or form. In that sense, I have this great respect toward Cho Yong-pil. He takes the best sound there is and reinterprets it into his own. I think that’s something I want to emulate and keep changing and evolving so that I can continue doing music for decades to come.

The lyrics ‘Thankfully between you and me nothing’s changed’ must sound more meaningful for the fans because they will be listening to your music for a long time. SUGA: A month and a half in the current times must seem like a lifetime for the fans when we're far apart. I feel the same. But I think that's proof that we worked hard for the past seven years and that the fans have been passionately reaching out to us. I'm striving to get to them as fast as I can, and I'm eager to go on stage. I'm going through this because I want to be better on stage in a better condition, so don't be sad, and please hang in there a little longer.

Trans © Weverse

#bangtan #yoongi #weverse #weverse magazine #Be Album #comeback interview #210104 #2021

[danielxricciardo]

One with DR where you guys are married and have been together since teens, but you come to point where you realise you’re not on the same page. You wanna start a family and have kids while he wants to focus on his career and have a relaxed time outside of f1 like holidays and travel. So you think it’s time to split but Daniel isn’t having any of it, please make it angsty and long. Love your writing xxxxx

Summary: You want a baby. Daniel doesn't.

Warnings: angst (I cried writing this)

Word Count: 2.2k

"Do you want to be friends with me?"

"Are we best friends? Great!"

"Do you want to be my girlfriend?"

"Will you marry me?"

"I do!"

You lay in bed with your knees to your chest, remembering all the important moments in your life.

At the age of six, you two met in the schoolyard and became friends after Daniel came to you to ask if you wanted to play with him. You were classmates but until then he didn't pay attention to you. It had been hard for you to ignore the class clown who made his colleagues laugh at every break and his laughter was heard everywhere.

At the age of nine, Daniel came to your house for the first time to have a sleepover. All night you watched movies on TV, with the blanket over your head. You ate chips and drank a lot of juice, and he asked you if this sleepover turned you into best friends. It did.

At fourteen, Daniel took you out for a romantic dinner at McDonalds after Joshua Taylor turned you down. You ate cheeseburgers and french fries and he asked you if you wanted to be his girlfriend. You said yes.

At the age of twenty-two, he proposed to you. It was after his first Grand Prix in Great Britain. He had finished 19th but was happier than ever. He ran to you, hugged you, kissed you and asked you if you wanted to be his wife. It was nothing romantic, he didn't have a ring, he didn't sit on his knee and nobody knew what he had said. It was intimate, just between the two of you. Excited, you said yes.

The ring had come seven months later, when you officially announced the engagement. It was an intimate ceremony in the garden of Daniel's parents' house, attended only by your families.

At the age of twenty-seven you got married. It was a beautiful wedding. Your sister and your two best friends were bridesmaids. You did the wedding on the beach in a beautiful ceremony, as taken from the stories with princesses. Daniel wept when he saw you, at that moment swearing that he died and went to heaven, you being an angel in front of him, but when your father gave Daniel your hand he knew it was true.

The whole ceremony Daniel trembled with emotion, glancing at you from time to time.

Your vow was: "You made me feel loved, in ways I never thought possible. Today I offer you what I am and what I have. Just as today I offer you my hand to hold it in your hand, so I offer you my heart, faith and life. Today I choose you and I will choose you again tomorrow and the next day as well, until the end of life I promise to love you without restraint, to be with you in difficult times, to encourage you to to fulfill your dreams, to laugh and cry with you, to grow together spiritually, to always be honest with you and to cherish you every day. I promise to offer you what I have best and I do not ask for more than you can give me. I promise to respect you and not to forget that your interests, desires and needs are as important as mine. I promise that you will always have my attention and my love. I promise to love you always, no matter the circumstances and no matter what happens in the future. When you are happy, I will be happy for you, when you are sad, I will make you smile. I love you."

His vow was: "You know me better than anyone else and you still want to marry me. You're my best friend and you showed me what true love is. Even now a part of me still can't believe you're marrying me today. Some time ago, you were just a wish, a dream. Thank you for representing what you represent for me. I promise to love you, to respect you and to make you smile every day, to enjoy life together and also our love. I promise to do my best to make our future a bright one. I promise to listen to you as long as it takes for you to feel heard, I promise to be with you and to love you, even more, when you feel that you have no reason to be loved, I promise to be always there with you and for you. I love you!"

It's been 5 years since the wedding. You were both 32 years old but you didn’t feel like a family. You didn't feel your last name was now Ricciardo. You were staying together, you traveled everywhere with him for Formula 1 but something was missing. You didn't have a child.

Everyone expected you to have one or more so far but no. You didn't even try; Daniel just didn't want to.

"I'm at a time in my life where I can't enjoy a child. I want to focus on my career."

It's just that he's been saying this since you got married and you don't believe him anymore. You were no longer so young as to be very confident you can have one. Of course, many people had children after the age of 30, maybe even 40 if you're lucky. But you didn't want to take your child to school until he was 60 years old. But Daniel didn't seem to understand, and that pissed you off. Sometimes you chose not to tell him anything so as not to get angry.

But you could see him around children. You saw him with his nephews. He had natural instincts; he was natural. You always looked at him and their actions brought you to tears. Of course, all kinds of scenarios went through your mind: he doesn't want to have children at all or he doesn't want to have children with you; and you didn't know what scared you the most.

Your parents asked you when you were going to give them a grandkid and you didn't know what to say to them. You said soon 5 years ago; now it doesn’t feel that soon.

This day was one of those days when you wanted to disappear. On Instagram you saw a picture of your best friend: she had given birth to a beautiful baby girl. She and her husband had been married less than a year ago and were already parents. And you envied her. You knew it wasn't right, but you wanted to be her. You wanted a boy or a girl with Daniel, you wanted a baby.

With tears in your eyes, you send a message to your friend in which you send congratulations from you and Daniel both. That had already become a reflex. You didn't tell Daniel who of your friends were becoming parents because you knew he wasn't interested. But you didn't want to give the impression that your relationship was not perfect.

Because, judging by your Instagram profiles, you had the perfect life. Every year you visit a new place. Your vacations were as varied as possible: Zanzibar, Seychelles, Hawaii with circuit on the West American coast: Los Angeles, Las Vegas, San Francisco, Yosemite park, Grand Canyon, Jamaica, Tanzania, Madagascar, Australia Tour: Sydney - Melbourne - Cairns - Great Barrier Reef, Maldives; tell it what you want, you've been everywhere.

You knew that was what made Daniel happy: to travel. But you wanted something else. Didn't he say in his oath <I promise to listen to you as long as it takes for you to feel heard>?

You look up at him. You were squatting in a corner of the couch while he was in the simulator.

"Hey, Danny?" you say slowly, hoping he could hear you.

You couldn't speak louder because you had a lump in your throat and you knew you would have cried if you hadn't kept your focus.

"Mhm?" he answers without distracting himself from the game.

"Can we talk?"

"Love, I have 17 more laps, we'll talk right away, okay? Damn Bottas, step aside."

You bite your lip and close your eyes so that the tears can't flow on your cheeks but you didn't succeed. Daniel had his back to you, too focused on overtaking Bottas on the Sochi circuit, he didn't even realize you were crying. You quickly wiped away the tears with the sleeve of the blouse you were wearing and took a deep breath. It was now or never.

"I want a divorce."

Quiet. You could swear Daniel wasn't breathing anymore. The next noise was his car crashing. It takes them a few seconds for him to return to you. His eyes were wide and his mouth was open, and the color on his cheeks was gone.

"W-wh-what?"

His reaction had made you cry again. It broke your soul to cause him that pain, but he also broke your soul in pieces, little by little, for 5 years.

"I want a divorce." you say in a trembling voice, not sure if he heard you. You didn't even hear what you just said.

"Yes, I heard that, but why?" he says and gets up from his chair, coming towards you.

He tried to hug you but you avoided his touch. The fact that you avoided touching him made him cry too.

"This relationship is not working. We are not on the same page."

He frowns and seems to replay your whole relationship to see what didn't work.

"Is it because I spend too much time on the simulator? I'm sorry, I didn't know it bothered you so much, love. I'm... I'm so sorry, really, I am."

You snort and cross your hands over your chest.

"I can't believe you think our relationship problem is your stupid game, Daniel! Unbelievable!"

He bites his lip and you're sure it’s going to bleed soon.

"Isn't it? Then what is it?"

You get up from the couch in exasperation.

"Really, Daniel? We've been married for 5 years, tell me when I ever got mad because of you sitting on the simulator! Never! Because I don't have a problem with that. Instead for 5 years I'm telling you to have a baby together and nothing! We want different things from life right now, and I don't think we can continue this relationship."

He also gets up from the couch and comes in front of you.

"Is that why you're doing this circus? Because we don't have a baby?" his surprise slowly turns into anger.

"Circus? Am I doing a circus? Because I want a baby? That’s low, Daniel, that’s low…" you snort. "Can you hear yourself? Doesn't it seem normal to you to have a child? We're 32, not 20! I understand you want to focus on your career, but we can't wait until you retire from the sport. You want to overtake Louis Chiron and to drive until the age of 59? I'm sorry, but when you reach the age of 59, the only girl you can get pregnant is a 20-year-old girl. And I won’t be 20, so good luck!"

"I don't want to have children with anyone else. I want to have a child with you, because I love you. But now is not the right time for me..." he says, looking down.

"Why? Give me arguments! Tell me why now it's not the right time to have children and if there are good arguments, I promise not to bother you anymore." you say, crossing your arms over your chest, waiting for his answer.

It's just that his answer never came. He kept his eyes on the ground.

"Exactly what I thought." you say and walk past him to enter the bedroom. "You have no argument. Great, Daniel. You made me realize I wasted 18 years of my life with you." you say and start crying even louder.

Daniel's heart had broken to pieces since he saw the first tear on your cheek. He knew he had ruined everything and he wasn't sure he could fix your relationship. As much as he loved you, you were right.

"Let's have a baby now!" he says coming towards you in the bedroom.

"Sure, Daniel. Let's order a baby, shall we? 5 minutes ago, you had no thoughts of a child and now that we've talked about divorce you want a child? No, Daniel. I don't want to give birth to a child just to hold us together. A child must be the result of our love. "

"Well, I love you!"

You smile.

"That's not enough... Now you want a child because I said I wanted a divorce, right? But later you will pour out your nerves and anger on the child because you will say that he destroyed your life."

"No, you're right. I was an idiot and I just thought about myself, but you're right. We should have had a baby a long time ago." he says and bites his lip what seemed to be thousand times.

"Daniel, I love you with all my heart. But I don't want to make a mistake. I don't want to give up on 18 years together but I don't want to give up the chance to be a mother either."

Daniel hugs you and kisses you on the forehead.

"You will not give up on this chance. We will have a child, I promise you, baby. I love you so so much."

You hug him and try to calm down.

"I love you too."

#daniel ricciardo fanfiction #daniel ricciardo oneshot #daniel ricciardo imagine #daniel ricciardo #f1 mclaren #f1 fanfiction #f1 oneshot #f1 one shot #f1 2021 #f1 #f1 x reader #f1 imagine #formula one oneshot #formula one imagine #forumula one #formula 1 oneshot #formula one

[queenshelby]

Time for Change – Part Four

Pairing: Cillian Murphy x Reader

Warning: Smut

Words: 1,888

Notes: Not based on Cillian’s life. This is fiction guys! 

YOUR POV

It has been just over a week since you saw Cillian last and not one night went by during which you didn’t think about him and the incredible sex you had with him.

Whilst you had agreed that this was a going to be a one-night stand, you couldn’t help but fantasise about him over and over again.

Even when you were lying next to James who, two days ago, had returned from New York, you were thinking about Cillian’s body on top of yours and all the naughty things that he would do to you.

You wanted him, more than as a friend or casual lover. But you knew that, this was never going to be possible.

As far as James was concerned, you didn’t address his infidelity yet. You needed more proof and you desperately needed to see a lawyer to ensure that James couldn’t take Chloe away.

James and Chloe were both US citizens, but you were not and Chloe did not hold an Irish passport. You applied for one, but the Department of Immigration was taking a long time to process through the adoption papers. Chloe was adopted by you both when you lived in the US and Ireland was slow in recognising it. This meant that you were stuck with him for now if you wanted to remain in Ireland.

With that being the case, you ran into the problem of James wanting more from you than what you were willing to give. You knew that he was fucking at least one other woman and, therefore, you had no intention of being intimate with him. It disgusted you.

In the same vein, you had slept with another man, a man who was still on your mind and who had satisfied you more than James ever could, raising the stakes quite significantly.

You kept making excuses, telling him that you weren’t feeling well, had a stressful day or a headache. You hoped that, eventually, he would find someone else, perhaps even someone at his place of work.

CILLIAN’S POV

As for Cillian, he also had not spoken to Danielle about his intention to divorce. He struggled with the idea and the fact that he wouldn’t see his children every day if they separated.

Danielle had threatened to withhold the children many times over the past few years after endless allegations of affairs, none of which were true. She told him that, due to his line of work, she would seek full custody and he knew that she was likely going to be successful if he wasn’t home for several months at the time.

Her behaviour was relentless, even to the point where one of his old personal assistants had resigned due to her constant allegations.

Then, a year later, she went so far and shared her allegations and concerns with Cillian’s mother, causing Cillian to leave her for several months, which is when she made her threats real and withheld contact to his children until he came back to her.

In addition, his agent had advised him against moving forward with the separation until the next season of Peaky Blinders is released. In his mine, with nothing else being available for his followers to get their hands on, his separation would likely be dragged through the mud by the papers, making it more difficult for his career.

Cillian liked to stay out of the media as much as he could but, depending on where Danielle was to take this, this might not be possible and he started to weigh up his options.

Yet, he felt the same about the night you had shared. The images of you in bed with him drove him crazy and, whilst him and Danielle no longer were intimate, he felt guilty for sneaking into the bathroom almost every single night to masturbate with you on his mind.

Making a Date

To his surprise, at 8 o’clock on Thursday night, he received a text message from you, asking him whether he wanted to meet up with you and, of course, he did.

He was reluctant at first, knowing what was at stake and not knowing how far things would go when you met up again.  

He didn’t know what your intentions were and why you wanted to meet but, when you responded to his text message by asking whether you should get a hotel room, it became pretty clear to him that you were after intimacy.

Cillian was torn about it. It was cliché, that’s for sure. It even reminded him on a movie he had starred in a few years ago. But, the thought of being alone with you in a hotel room drove him crazy and his reasonable thought process came to a standstill.

‘Alright. Let’s meet at the Westin 5 o’clock tomorrow afternoon. I will book a room’ Cillian typed, before deleting it and then retyping it all again. He knew it was wrong, no matter how bad things were between him and Danielle.

Eventually, he decided to send it and you were quick to respond, agreeing to his proposed time and location.

The following day, you told James that you were meeting up with friends in town and might stay over at Emily’s house.

Cillian did the same and told Danielle that he was going out in Temple Bar with some of his friends and, whilst James didn’t mind and bought your excuse, Danielle was frustrated with Cillian for leaving her with the kids.

‘You better don’t come home drunk Cillian’ she growled angrily, causing Cillian to roll his eyes.

‘If I have too much, I will crash on my brother’s lounge’ he then responded, causing Danielle to huff and swear.

‘Seriously Danielle? You disappeared for a fucking week and you have a problem with me going out for one night?’ Cillian said, shaking his head before he slammed the door behind him.

The Hotel

‘Room 307. I left a key at reception’ Cillian texted as you were sitting in the back of the taxi.  

‘Can’t wait to see you. I didn’t bother wearing panties. I hope that is okay’ you texted back, teasing Cillian.

‘Good call. They would just have come off within minutes of you walking through the door’ he responded.

The texting went back and forth making you more and more excited. With each chime of your phone your pussy throbbed more and your ten-minute drive felt like it took forever and the short walk up to the hotel room was torture.

Your clit was so aroused that even the motion of your legs as you walked teased your pussy and made you just crave Cillian’s touch even more.

When you knocked on the door Cillian answered very quickly. He was wearing only a towel on his hips and you could see his freckle covered chest and the tops of his hips.

Quickly you entered and turned and locked the door behind you. You grabbed Cillian and kissed him passionately. As you did, moans escaped your mouth and you could feel Cillian's already hard cock press against you as his towel fell to the floor.

‘Fuck’ Cillian groaned as he saw you and, in one quick motion, he ripped your dress to the floor, kneeling in front of you as you stepped out of it. Without losing any time and before you could even have said hello to each other, Cillian pressed his face against your deliciously wet pussy and began to make circles around your clit with his tongue. He then slid one finger inside you and left it still.

‘Oh, fuck Cillian, please’ you begged as you craved more and moved your hip so that his finger teased you gently. Cillian then added a second finger and he curved them upward just slightly so that the tip of his fingers stroked your g-spot.

‘Oh god yes’ you moaned, wanting even more. Your body began to shake and your legs began to weaken as you grew close to orgasm.

You leaned your back against the door to prevent yourself from crumbling to the floor. Cillian then began to suck on your clit and as he did you screamed out. Your legs shook and you had to grab a hold of the door handle to prevent yourself from falling to the ground.

‘Oh my god, I'm cumming’ you screamed with passion and lust in your voice.

Cillian kept teasing your pussy after waves of pleasure rolled through your body. You gained control of your balance again and became steady on your legs. You then grabbed Cillian by the shoulders and pulled him up to kiss him, tasting your juices on his lips and tongue.

‘Well, it’s good to see you’ he finally grinned as your lips drifted apart.

‘Now this Mr Murphy, was a nice welcome’ you said before kissing him again passionately.

‘Now it’s my turn’ you then said as you pushed him back towards a chair in the corner of the room and made him sit down.

Within seconds, you pushed his legs apart and went down on your knees in between them and took his cock in your mouth.

‘Fuck Y/N’ Cillian groaned as, first, you just lightly sucked on the tip of his cock, flicking your tongue on the tip.

This was something Danielle hadn’t done to him in a very long time and it didn’t take long for another small growl to come out to the back of Cillian's throat.

With this encouragement you took his entire cock into your mouth devouring all seven inches of his amazing cock. You deepthroated his cock starting off slowly and as you got quicker Cillian pulled your hair encouraging you to go faster and faster on his cock.

‘Jesus Y/N’ Cillian groaned as you tilted your head back to catch your breath and stood up.

After you gave Cillian another passionate kiss, you climbed on top of his lap, facing him and allowing him to play with and suck on your breasts while you lowered yourself onto his cock with a loud moan.  

You rode his cock slowly at first and worked up to speed, panting as your clit rubbed against his hips. You could feel your pleasure building inside you as you could feel yourself becoming ready to orgasm again. Cillian continued to play with your hard nipples until finally he slipped his hand between your legs and rubbed your clit in a circular motion. This sent you over the edge and you started cumming again.

‘Fuck, Y/N, that’s it’ Cillian groaned as your walls contracted around his hard cock, milking him and sending him over the edge as well.

You came in sync and could feel Cillian filling you with his warm cum, coating your walls and cervix as you rode out your orgasms.

‘That was amazing’ you huffed out eventually and Cillian kissed you again passionately.

‘I fucking needed this’ he chuckled after your lips drifted apart.

‘Me too’ you giggled. ‘So, are we going to make use of this amazing spa tub?’ you then asked as you slowly lifted yourself off Cillian, causing a large amount of his cum to leak out of you and onto Cillian’s lap.

‘I would say let’s have a bath, then order some room service and then have some more sex’ Cillian suggested.

‘Sounds like a fabulous idea’ you smiled.

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#cillian murphy #Cillian Murphy x Reader #cillian murphy smut #cillian murphy imagine

[lengthofropes]

POVs series

Part 4: Dean

words: 2,2k; rating: teen and up

summary:

Dean’s POV, since Cas is gone, then got back from the Empty.

Intentionally written as scattered thoughts.

Slowly, from grief, to the ending that they both deserve.

————————————-

1. What shapes me? Lines of my bones, enveloped within my skin, so tensed and fragile. The tremble of my hands in the morning, as I try but can’t find you next to me. My old clothes, my new clothes. Corners of my house.  My car’s seat upholstery. Soft recoil of my revolver. Food on my plate. Blood in my arteries. My “yes”s and my “no”s and cracks in my voice, as I say so.   - I’d drive. - Far away. From here, but where to? I’d watch the sun goes up and down, up and down, throwing it’s rays into side mirror. Lightening the road or leaving it in darkness, disturbed only by the headlights. I’d listen to the sound that air makes, sliced in half by the windshield. I’d listen to the purring of the engine under the hood, gratefully fed with gasoline. Too bad, it’s not clamorous enough. I’d pay dearly. With money, with time, that’s left. With anything. For something so loud, that could muffle my inaudible screams into nowhere. - I’d drive. But where to? - I don’t know where to. -

keep reading under the cut  -  or  -   read on AO3

2. I can’t drive alone. I keep seeing your gaze on my right. I see it, when I look into the rear view mirror too. Like you’re still here, around, waiting to say something. Or just sitting silently, pervading the air with the appeasement of your presence. Looking at me.   How long will it take me to forget how your eyes looked like? How long will it take me to forget what you saw in me? How can I? Now, that I believe in everything you’ve said. - How warm your touch was. - How good does it feel to be “finally free”, remind me? I don’t like the price. -

3. I’d like some certainty, you know? To come to terms. But I keep thinking “If only..” I keep asking “What if..?”  So many of those. Like there are other paths, and it all could’ve work out differently. They throw me back days ago, then months ago, then years. All my life, since the day I’ve met you. I keep searching for the answer, for the exact point, the moment, when I could’ve say something, do something. And you’d still be here.

“If”s are draining me. They are the lump in my throat, big and barbed. Sometimes it grows so big, it blocks the air from getting into my lungs. And in times like these I wonder, maybe I should just stop breathing at all? Still easier, than to accept your absence. - What if. What if. What if. - And you’d still be here. Here. -

4. Prayers never got me any good. Except of those, that were for you. But you can’t hear me now. You can’t hear at all. I know, it’s no use, I know it’s not possible, I know… I know. But I keep doing this, I keep begging. Not for a solace, not because of compassion. For fairness. Because. You took yourself away from me. It’s not fair, it’s so not fair. How could you do this to me? It’s not fair, can you hear me? It’s not fair! It’s not… - Come back to me. - Bring him back to me. - I don’t know if it is a prayer, I just repeat it over and over. Maybe I’m hoping these words will lose their meaning, if I’ll bounce them against every wall? Every wall of every empty room. I wander around them at night. You stood here, you smiled there, we had an argument, sitting in these chairs. And here, here you touched my shoulder. - Come back to me. Please, come back to me. -

5. How come, it’s been months already? I counted the seconds; they aimlessly wandered around, and then, having nothing else to do, gathered into minutes. It took more courage for minutes to gather in hours, but they did anyway. Hours slowly built up the days, and every seven days made it into a week. - I know, how time works. I’m just not sure, it works for me. - It’s not a straight line, I think. It’s more like a quagmire, and I’m drowning. I looked at myself in the mirror again this morning, as I do every day. I look closely, I check, I perceive. Hey, you’d be proud of me, you know? Little by little, I merge my usual “I” with your vision of me. Because this is the best way to remember you - to live by your last words. - I’d like to tell you, how YOU changed me. [ X ] -

6. Light is blinding me. Heart grew so big, it filled all of my chest, not sure, if there’s a place left to breathe in. Please, let it be real. Please. Please… Not another happy dream, that turns into nightmare, when I’m waking up. Please. - I see you. - Same room, same spot. You. Alive. Your hands are cold. You’re so weak, you can’t stand by yourself, you can’t even speak. But before you passed out, you looked at me. You looked at me, and I saw my own eyes reflect in yours. And that was enough to believe this is real. - I don’t remember… I… - Someone’s shaking my shoulder and saying my name over and over again. I’m sitting on the floor, holding you in my arms. My fingers hurt. I must’ve clutched them into your trench coat too tight. I have no idea how long I’ve been sitting like this. But yes… yes… Sam’s hand is on my shoulder and he’s right, his voice is very quiet, but he’s right. We should get you out of here. We should put you in bed. - I nod. I’m not sure I can speak. -

7. It’s so quiet. - You lay. You rest. You sleep. I’ll watch over you. It’s my turn now. The room is still. Only movement is your chest’s slow ups and downs, as you breathe. It’s just air, nothing more, right? How can the sound of air, filling the lungs, be the most soothing sound in the world? But it is. - It’s our air. We share it. - And I’m crying. I’m crying and I’m crying and I can’t stop. -

8. Sam came back from the store, I stand in the kitchen, taking out groceries and stuff out of the shopping bags. Among everything, I see he bought a super glue, I have no idea, what he needs this for. This is so stupid, this is so fucking stupid, it’s pathetic… but I can’t keep my eyes of it. “Use super glue to strongly bind 2 surfaces together”. I want to come into your room, I want to sit beside you, while you’re still sleeping. I want to smear that goddamn glue all over you, from head to toe, and put myself on top of you, as like I’m the other surface. “Assemble parts and hold together with pressure for 15 seconds or until set”, the directions say.   Or, there’s gotta be sewing kit here somewhere? I want to thread a needle and sew you to me. With such large and strong stitches, I darned Sam’s pants like that when I was a kid, I know these stitches are reliable, believe me. Or use a duck tape. Or shove us both into the bottle and threw it away into the ocean. - It’s been two days and nine hours, since you’re back. Someday, I’ll be able to leave your room, leave you out of my sight, and don’t feel growing panic in my chest. - Someday, I’ll believe you’re back for good. For good. For ever. Not today. -

9. Your bare legs are sticking out of your robe. You are strong enough to walk around the bunker, and, of course, the first thing you did is get to the kitchen. Oh, you woke up hungry and just wanted to make yourself a sandwich, I see… You are not cold, but you are sitting on a chair, constantly adjusting this stupid robe, wrapping yourself in it tighter. You weirdo. You know who you remind me of? A cold little sparrow on a twig, who keeps on ruffling the feathers to keep warm. Those legs are sticking out… - I place a huge bowl of hot chicken soup in front of you. “Eat!” I say. “Or I’m gonna start feeding you with a spoon, I swear!” You mutter something dissatisfied about peanut butter and jelly under your nose, but I won’t even listen. "Eat!” I say. Seriously, you didn’t want to wake me up?? So nice of you! Next time consider my near heart attack, maybe? You look sorry and giving me those puppy eyes, and I swear I want to smile so bad. Not just smile, really. To laugh with my full chest, easy and warm. - You breathe. You sleep. Now you eat. Should I ask questions? You’re here. You’re okay. You’re getting better. - You’re getting better. -

10. Your hair smell of my shampoo. Your hair. Smell of my shampoo. Your clothes are my old ones, but they fit you so good. Soon, when you’re well enough, we’re gonna drive some place nice and buy you your own. It’s selfish, probably, but I want it to happen as late, as possible; not your recovery, of course, your new clothes, I mean. - You look mine in my clothes. - Your hair smell of my shampoo. I’ve realised it just now, when you fell asleep on my shoulder. I forgive you, we’ve seen this movie two times already, it’s okay. And I can pretend I’m still watching it, while shamelessly wander my eyes over you, curled in a ball, covered with soft plaid. - I dare to kiss the top of your head, I dare to cover your knuckles with my palm, carefully, not to wake you up. - You are so warm. -

11. Do I deserve you? - Do I? Your presence in my life. You. All of you. So pure, so perfect. So selfless. I’d say you are full of light, but it’s not quite so. Because you are the light. God, I’m so scared. It starts in my fingertips, they ache, like being pinned with needles. Needles get into my blood flow and make my whole body shiver. - It took me way too long to understand, but I see now… it’s not about you, it’s about me. I know, I know! I remember everything you’ve said. I remember how I tried to believe it, to understand, to accept, to let it all inside me and keep it there. Your simple truth, that I actually mean something. Mean so much. To you. Fucking everyday morning exercises. Look and repeat, look and repeat to self all over again, “you are loved, you are loved, you are loved…” until not scared of the meaning. But… is this enough? What you feel about me? What I feel about you? To deserve you? Do I deserve you, do I? Do I? I… - But you’re kissing me back. - And you shiver too. Are those my needles got into your veins or are those yours? Jesus, do you have the same idiotic thoughts in your head?? God, we are both so clumsy, so stupid, so fucking stupid! We were so dumb, we are both so dumb! We are… We… - WE. - And I’m kissing you. I’m kissing you. I deserve it. I deserve you. I do. -

12. To feel the pulse on your neck with my lips. To smile, when your stubble tickles my ribs. To hear your shuddered inhales right next to my temple. To hold you, closer than ever, and not be afraid to. - It’s something about the heat of your skin, that makes me feel belonged. Safe. -

13. - You told me, you want to grow old with me. -

14. It’s quite hot, but windy today. You rolled the window down, and fresh air immediately filled up the car. We’re driving back home from the grocery store. You’re texting to someone and smiling. Tell them “Hi” from me. We’re listening to the new mixtape you’ve made. It’s awful, by the way. 90’s? Seriously?? Oh, don’t hurt yourself rolling your eyes back. Ok…Okay! I’m shutting up! You’re taking two milkshakes out of the bag, one for you, one for me. We argue on who’s gonna cook today. We drive past the small tidy houses with green yards and gardens, talking over each one of those. Someday, soon, yeah, most likely. That one with blue shutters? Yeah, I like it too. - In between of shifting the gears, I hold your hand. I love you. - Days are like this. -

15. Hello, my name is Dean Winchester. White male, early forties’. I don’t try to recognize myself in a mirror anymore. I don’t ask questions. - I’m just here. - Yeah, there’s grey in my hair, quite a bit, but still. These are my arms, my shoulders, hands. I used to know my hands as lethal, strong and fast, and I’ve always thought, that’s enough for male hands. I mean… they are, yes. But now I’d add, they are full of care, also. Even gentle. They are good for so many things, I didn’t even realize they are so good. [ X ] - This is my face. Here are my freckles and there are my wrinkles. - This is my skin; I live in it.

- It finally fits me. -

__________________________________

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#sorry guys! original post got messed with the links and I can't fix them....so just decided to make another oner of archive purposes(( #don't mind me)) #destiel fanfic #spncreatorsdaily #destiel fanfiction #destiel fix it #destiel #dean winchester #castiel #destiel poetry #anz writes stuff and things #fic tag

[bratshaws]

goodness gracious 74. brb x oc

a/n: * breakdances* hell yeah my guys, hell yeah

check out the fic's playlist made by the sweet @wiipes !!

pairing: plus size!oc x rooster

warnings: FLUFF GOD IM SO ASKKAJSNKAJWDN i love them

chapters:

1/2/3/4/5/6/7/8/9/10/11/12/13/14/15/16/17/18/19/20/21/22/23/24/25/26/27/28/29/30/31/32/33/34/35/36/37/38/39/40/41/42/43/44

45/46/47/48/49/50/51/52/53/54/55/56/57/58/59/60/61/62/63/64

65/66/67/68/69/70/71/72/73

(pls let me know if you want to be added to the taglist!!)

taglist: @mirandastuckinthe80s @roosterschanelslut @wiipes @lcahwriter @shrimping-for-all @gretagerwigsmuse @frenchtoastix

@lizzie-rdj @fanboyluvr @atarmychick007 @comebacktoearthpls

@peachiicherries @mak-32 @lizziespidiepridie @roosterswifey @ollyoxenfrees @piceous21 @sqrlgrl22 @hofficoffi @lexhalstead3 @lorilane33 @legendarydreamersharkparty @luckyladycreator2 @emilybradshaw @j-6o @louisahale @leobabbyyy @kulicny @winter-run @ktjmac @graciereads

-

Beatrice’s smile never faltered when he took them to the movies, specifically the cinema where they watched Alien the first time together. They haven’t been there since their first date almost seven months ago – seven months. They really have been together for seven months!!

She was a bit surprised to see the movies that night were the Lord of the Rings trilogy and while the movies weren't as old as the usual selection she was more than happy to see it there.

As was Bradley, who once he found out they’d be screening it that night he wasted no time in bringing Beatrice. Just the way her eyes shone brightly seeing the posters on the walls was enough for him. Plus, he’s been so busy lately they haven’t been having a lot of time to go out on date nights as often - it bothered him even if Beatrice said she didn’t mind.

Beatrice looked at the three posters next to each other while Rooster got them snacks for the night, stepping closer to her smiling form, ‘You know,I was eight years old when the first movie came out.” she murmured, “Leo and Mikey went to watch it and I remember being so upset I couldn’t go and even more seeing how excited they were when they came back…I actually never saw any of the movies in a movie theater. I was under thirteen.”

“Well, you can now.” he saw her smile widen and the way she bounced a bit on the balls of her feet with excitement, turning to look over the top of her head to the rooms where the first movie would be screened, “Come on.” he offers her his hand, the other holding all the snacks he got - yes he did get a some chocolate, he’s a grown man who has absolute control of his sweet tooth - as they make their way inside.

This time there were more people than in the Alien movies, which wasn’t surprising considering how popular LOTR still is. Some were dressed like characters, he saw at least five Gandalfs and three Frodos from where he was. Beatrice was still smiling, holding his hand tightly until they found their seats. They sat down and Rooster immediately placed the popcorn between them, alongside the snacks that were way cheaper than an actual cinema. He already liked that.

While they waited, Rooster’s hand met hers across the seat, rubbing her knuckles soothingly then bringing it up to his lips to kiss the back, smiling at her. Beatrice smiles back, squeezing his hand as they waited for the movie to begin, his girlfriend’s leg bouncing anxiously, waiting for the screen to turn on almost as if she was ready to run to the projector area and turn it on. 

The second the lights turned off, one by one, the cheers that erupted from the crowd almost deafened them, but Beatrice didn’t care. She shook his hand excitedly, “It’s happening!” she squealed in a quiet voice, “I’m going to watch LOTR in a movie theater!!!” Honestly, just seeing her happy like that was more than he could ever ask for. His enamored eyes only left her smiling face when the first scene finally rolled in. He honestly was so used to reading the books - which he still hasn’t finished, not because he didn’t want to but because he knew if he started nothing else would be able to snap him out of the iron focus - that rewatching the movie after so long was interesting.

Unlike Beatrice, who was too young to watch it, he was fifteen when the first movie was available, he ended up going with some of his school friends there but he could remember only a few scenes - very vaguely too. But he had a feeling he’d be reminded of quotes and moments just because of Beatrice.

He sneaked another look her way, seeing her lips move alongside Gandalf’s monologue in his very first appearance. Her face lights up like the fireworks in the Shire, her legs still moving excitedly while she is still seated, it was like watching a young Beatrice finally be able to live her dream of watching her favorite movies the way she always wanted to. He knew the movies were long and if she wanted they could watch all of them since they got there around afternoon.

His day at work was stressful but he didn’t want to tell her about it, especially not when she looked so happy. It was just another day where something went awry and his temper flared a bit, but it was quickly resolved. Right now he could relax and forget whatever bad it was that happened, choosing to keep his eyes and senses on Bea and her thrilled energy. 

Every time a certain scene would come up, Beatrice would either mouth her lips along or she’d lean closer to him to say how it compared to the book. Beatrice’s pure giddiness over watching one of her favorite movies was so…lovely to see. He knew that the first time they came here, their very first date seemed longer than seven months ago. He never told her but he was a bit nervous, which rarely happens when it comes to going out with someone, he really just wanted to show her he genuinely liked her and wanted to be with her.

-

Rooster entered the flower shop with his hands sweating, he still had a few minutes before he showed up at Beatrice’s house to pick her up. He had never been this nervous, maybe when he was younger, but never as an adult. He scratched the side of his neck, looking around the different floral arrangements hoping to find one that really called Beatrice’s name.

He dug his hands in his pockets, looking back at the woman on the cash register who was busy helping other customers to pay attention to him. Should he even get something already made? Something in him said to find flowers that reminded him of Beatrice and ask the lady to prepare him a bouquet. He wandered around the aisles, the smell of different flowers hitting his nose at every step, still trying to find something that could represent Bea the best.

He wracked his mind trying to think: she was really sweet, every time her cheeks turned red his heart did backflips, she was beautiful yet extremely bashful about it. She was great at volleyball and she smelled like lavender. He blinks when the word appears in his mind. Lavender! That’s a great option! It reminded him of her…but he needed something else, something more. He looked around for a few more seconds, then his eyes stopped on a tiny bucket filled with fresh daisies and he smiles.

There it was. It was perfect!

It wouldn’t be a big one and he hoped she wouldn’t mind, which he had a feeling she wouldn’t, not really. He waits until the customers from before leave, then approaches the lady on the front explaining to her what he wanted. The lady, who looked to be around her early 60’s, gave him a knowing smile but nodded, telling him to wait at the counter as she gathered the flowers.

Bradley’s stomach was flipping back and forth, somersaulting almost with nerves and excitement. How long had he tried to talk to her? A long time, and she always ran away from him, he never gave up because he really, really liked her. It wasn’t the normal kind of infatuation you’d get– well, it was a crush, he was crushing hard on her for these past months so…to him, what was about to happen tonight was very special. 

He hasn’t had a crush in ages and now at the ripe age of thirty six, here he was. He looked down at his watch just to check, easing out a breath when noticing he still had quite a bit of time before going there. Bradley smiles politely back at the lady when she returns, the bouquet being done quickly before his eyes and she asks him if it was for someone special, “Yeah,” he answers, watching her quickly wrap all those flowers inside the paper, “It’s going to be our first date and I want to make a good impression.”

“Well,I think you’ll do fine. Lavenders represent devotion and calmness, while daisies represent new beginnings.” she tilts her head up when she finishes both her sentence and the bouquet, “So I have a feeling you’ll do just fine.” He laughed softly, dropping his head sheepishly, thanking her once he grabbed the flowers and paid her. He looked down at the small floral arrangement, it really looked so much smaller in his hand, being careful to not crush the stems or crinkle the paper too much.

He sets it down on the passenger seat, almost as if the bouquet is a passenger itself, making sure it wouldn’t be squashed on the drive over to Bea’s. He sucked in a breath, easing some of his nerves and trying to focus on the road instead of how much he wanted to give her a good time tonight.

The scene yesterday broke his heart. genuinely, he’d never want to see her crying like that again and he was shocked she thought he was asking her out on a date because he was feeling bad for her. He knew she had self esteem issues even from the way she acted around him and the others, but him especially, but he didn’t think it’d be…so bad. If she asked that it meant that…it happened before and God that thought was just going to make him angry.

No, they were going to have a nice night, they were going to have fun and she’s going to enjoy herself. He parks the Bronco in front of her house, looking at the lights on the second floor where her loft was, “Okay.” he rolls his neck and shoulders, grabbing the flowers and stepping out. 

He hides his arm behind his back, wondering how he could wait for her. Standing by the door was fine, but what if he leaned over? Yeah. Yeah that was a lot better. He smiled hearing her voice froming from inside after she heard him by the door, keeping himself together when the doorknob turned and she appeared in front of him.

-

Seven whole months. 

He was extremely thankful of how their relationship developed over the time they were together, especially when it came to Beatrice being comfortable around him and comfortable around her own body. It was amazing to see the growth in both of them really, both of them were more open with their thoughts and words, they talked like any healthy couple should do and they figured things out.

God he wanted to marry her.

It took him some thinking, but he was decisive about it now. Especially after talking to Mav. Their leases would turn by the end of the month, so they should try and look for places now so they could move out. Not to mention the surprise birthday party he,Evelyn and Shells were working on.

Surprisingly how the blonde didn’t open her mouth to excitedly tell others - aka Bob - about it. So far everything was going well, so all he had to do was wait for the right time. His eyes turned to her ring finger, the same one wrapped around his hand alongside its siblings, trying to check what size she would be.

She rarely used rings besides the one in her thumb, so he wondered if she had any jewelry in her place he could take a look. He didn’t want to snoop, but he also didn’t want to tell her about it yet. He just looked at her by the corner of his eye, smiling down at her elated face and then leaning back on his seat completely, deciding that he should watch the movie now.

-

“Did I tell you what my future nephew or niece will be named?.'' They left the movie theater a few minutes before midnight - absolutely starving because popcorn does not fill anyone’s stomachs like that -, had a late dinner by the same taco truck they went before and now were walking around to help with digestion. 

Rooster smiles down at her, hugging her to his side to press a kiss to the top of her head, “No, tell me.”

“Eowyn if it’s a girl or Aragorn if it’s a boy.” she says, making Bradley chuff out a soft laugh and pull his head back from her own, “I’m serious! I mean,I don’t hate it but, imagine the things this child will go through in the future!” Beatrice sighs, “At least Bibi is okay with it now, she’s even excited to be an older sister.”

“I thought she might.” Rooster adds, “It’s just something for her to get used to you know?” Beatrice agrees with a nod, holding his hand with their fingers interlaced, “When is it going to be born?”

“According to Cyn, around October.” she says,”It’s going to be so cute. I’m kinda excited to be an aunt again.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah! I like kids and I like my nephews and nieces.” he knew that he could see the way she was around them, especially Bianca. “It’s…really fun.” he noticed how her voice faltered just a bit at the end of her sentence, but she kept on smiling.

Beatrice held the words ‘but it’s weird being the only one without a child besides Michael’, she never told Brad but her mother has been…very specific ever since Leo announced the second baby. The last time she visited by herself her mother offered her tea, she was very vocal about how she should take all of it before she left. 

It took one sniff to figure out what it actually was: red clover tea, a herb that’s known to help with fertility and pregnancies. She knew that because her nonna used to have some in her garden and would always prepare some tea for her siblings and months later they’d find out they were to have kids.

While she…appreciated the thought, she wished her mother wasn’t so insistent about it. Yes, she had Bradley now but she couldn’t just…do it…without talking to him. A lot was going to happen before that, a whole lot so she gently cut her mother off and tossed the tea down the drain when her mother got busy enough.

“Michael doesn’t have kids does he?” Rooster asks when they pause their walking to watch the sea in the distance, the waves larger and louder because of the full moon, “I always saw him alone.”

“Oh, no, Michael is the ‘cool bachelor uncle’.” she air quotes with a shake of her head, “He just…well…he’s never had an actual long relationship. He also likes the single life a lot more. He prefers it, really. He’s always the one that helps the kids with stuff like…first dates, first…I don’t know, first time drinking, first time driving. He likes to be part of that.”

Michael was always the wildest of them all, thinking of him settling down…with anyone was a bit hard to imagine. Not because he couldn’t be loving, but because she didn’t think whoever his partner was would be able to handle her older brother’s caffeine induced personality most of the time. They always joked that Michael was Mambo Number 5 if the song was a person.

Which does make sense in a way.

“I think a girl tried telling him he was the father of her kid.” Beatrice explains, “I don’t know,I was really young when it happened and, you know, he was going to step up to it and be a dad but then eventually it was found out that he wasn’t the father and he got…really upset. I think he just gave up after that.”

“Honestly from what I’ve seen of Michael he doesn’t seem too bummed about it.”

Beatrice smiles softly, crossing her arms below her bust with her eyes still on the waves, “Oh he’s not, I think he’s gotten used to it now. He even told my parents to not expect grandchildren from him.” she laughs gently, but her cheeks redden at what the words suddenly implicated and hoped that Rooster wouldn’t get it.

But he just takes in the information in silence, if he noticed something within it he doesn’t say it, instead he looks down at her with a smile, “At least they have everyone else instead huh?” he says and Beatrice nods, facing the ocean alongside him. Beatrice then sighs, tucking strands of her behind her ears as she feels the wind pick up around them.

He took that as his cue for them to go back to the car before it got worse, placing his hand on the small of her back and shielding her from the harsher gusts of wind until they got back inside the Bronco.

-

Rooster spent the night over, since he didn’t think it’d be wise for him to just go all the way back to his apartment just to sleep when he could enjoy the lovely company of no one other but his girlfriend. Plus some of his things were already there, so why not? He did wake up very early, earlier than he normally did whenever he spent time there and his body was a bit confused by what was happening.

Beatrice however surprised him, because she was up before he was, sitting on the kitchen chair with Jolene lying by her feet, waiting for the coffee maker to be done. He runs his hand over his face so he’d wake up, leaning against the doorframe to watch Beatrice since she hadn’t noticed him yet, her own eyes blinking hard to keep herself awake. He smirks, pushing himself from the door to step into the kitchen, the sound of his footsteps finally making the brunette snap her eyes in his direction, “Oh, hey.”

‘Hey,” he grins, leaning down to kiss her temple, “What are you doing up? You know I have to wake up really early during the week.” she hums, leaning into his kiss with the same sleepy look on her face, watching him open the cabinets to grab their mugs from inside.

“Just wanted to be here with you.” she says quietly, almost slurred, leaning on her hand to support her head up, thanking him when he places the Ponyo mug in front of her, “Thought…” she yawns mid-sentence” Thought I better get used to it.”

Because they were going to move in really soon, god she was so sweet, “Baby, you don’t have to. I know how much your sleep means to you and you need your rest.” but he did appreciate her being with him, he really did. “Do you want me to make you breakfast then? I can whip something really quick.”

“No, no it’s fine.” she inhales, rubbing her face with both hands, tapping her cheeks to wake up fully, then blinking her eyes open, “I can do something, what do you usually take before going to work?”

Bradley thinks about it, following her hips’ sway as she walks to the fridge, tilting his head to the side to have a better look of her behind, “Honestly, considering the time now…I’d probably have scrambled eggs and coffee.”

“No bacon?” she questions, already grabbing a few eggs with her body leaning back from the fridge “Okay,I can do that.” 

“You don’t have to, baby.”

“It’s okay!” she tells him, gently placing the eggs inside a blue porcelain bowl, “I don’t mind it, really.”

“Okay…only if you promise to go back to sleep after I leave.”

“Oh, I don’t even have to promise that.”

Both of them laugh at the joke, with Rooster leaning on his hand now, watching Beatrice prepare him scrambled eggs with a smile on her face. This would be routine for them, she was right, and he too had to get used to it, ‘So,” he begins, “Maybe this week we can look at some places.” she keeps on moving the fork rapidly inside the bowl to mix the eggs, but looks over her shoulder to where he was seated, “You know? And get some things  settled.”

Beatrice smiles, pouring the eggs inside the heated pan, “I’d like that…considering the time we’d have to do it too.” she was very excited, she couldn’t believe it, her stomach was flipping with happy nerves and the pure joy of living together with Rooster. With the man she loved! It’d be a completely new experience for both, but since they already talked about the basics - finances and whatnot - this would be really fun.

She places the scrambled eggs on a plate, sliding it over to Rooster and kissing his temple, “I’m going to get your coffee.” she whispers on his hair, kissing his forehead and then stepping back to fill his mug. Bradley could only smile with his heart filled with so much love for this woman he didn’t know what else to do, besides,well, anxiously waiting for the moving day to come.

He’d have to tell Mav, he figured that keeping that secret from him wouldn’t be wise especially considering they’d need help moving everything to the new place, and his godfather would never forgive him if he found that out by anyone that wasn’t him. So, that was going to be the plan for that day, talk to Mav about the move in with Bea and hopefully Pete wouldn’t cry when he finds out about it.

Beatrice joins him for the rest of breakfast, choosing to not eat anything yet since she felt she’d just fall asleep soon after she was done, she just sat with him and they chatted about everything they should do until the fateful day…and Beatrice casually said something about celebrating her birthday, loving if they could do to the karaoke bar she and the girls went when he was deployed last time.

He was mentally cheering that she said that, because it was one of the options he thought about and now he could talk to Evelyn and they could organize this easily without hiccups. He noticed that over time Beatrice’s words slowly got quieter and quieter, with her eyes fighting to keep awake and her hand turning more into a pillow and something to support her head up.

He finishes his breakfast in silence, seeing that Beatrice was now fully asleep while on the kitchen table and smiles to himself, gently placing the plate in the sink so it wouldn’t make any noise and then picking a snoozing Beatrice out of the chair in bridal style, tsking twice so Jolene would follow him.

Rooster carefully places Beatrice back on the bed, tucking her with the bed sheets and leaning down to kiss her cheek, “Sleep well gorgeous.” he whispers, “I’ll see you later.” he looks back down at Jolene who was now seated by the end of the bed, “Keep and eye on her, Jojo.” he playfully pets the pitbull’s head, before disappearing into the bathroom to change and get ready for work.

#bradley rooster bradshaw #rooster bradshaw #bradley bradshaw x oc #top gun maverick #bradley bradshaw x reader

[myhockeyworld87]

What Happens In Vegas...Doesn’t Always Stay There - Jacob Markstrom - Part 3

Word Count: 4,050

POV: Reader

Warning: Language

Notes: Well I’m finally at home for a night and I definitely owe you guys a story. So since I had the next part of this one ready, I dediced to post it. When last we saw these two, they had decided to divorce, and our reader had signed the papers and sent them back to Jacob. Who had forgotten to sign them. Let’s see what happens now, though I think some of you have an idea. As always feedback is welcome. Happy Reading!

What Happens In Vegas…Doesn’t Always Stay There Masterlist

It had been almost seven weeks since Jacob met you. For six of those, he’d talked to you every day, sometimes two and three times. It was just these last few days that you wouldn’t answer his calls or texts. Jacob was confused, to put it mildly. He wracked his brain trying to recall the last couple of conversations that you’d had, wondering if he’d said or did something to anger you, but nothing came to mind. In Jacob’s mind, he thought the two of you were actually starting something. Sure, it had been one of the most peculiar beginnings to a relationship ever, but the last several weeks' things had been nice, better than nice actually. He thought the two of you might have a chance at a real relationship. Of course, the distance between you played a part, but he thought the two of you could work that out; apparently, he was wrong.

 Jacob knew the moment he stepped poolside, that you were something special. The longer he talked to you the more he knew he’d been right. If he was being honest, it was probably one of the reasons he suggested marrying you, even though that marriage would be over soon. Just like lightning striking in the middle of a storm, it hit Jacob then why you were pissed. He’d forgotten to sign the divorce papers. He’d had them for well over two weeks now. Rushing into the office, he started rifling through all the crap on his desk looking for the manila envelope that you’d mailed it to him in. He was just in the process of opening it when the front doorbell rang, so back on the desk it went, as he headed to the door to answer it.

 Jacob was shocked to see you standing there. “(Y/N), what are you doing here?” He didn’t mean for that to come out the way it did. It took him a moment to recover before taking you in. There were dark circles under your eyes that made it look like you hadn’t slept in days, not to mention how puffy they looked as if you’d been crying. Jacob wanted nothing more than to take you in his arms and make whatever seemed to be causing you this much pain go away.

 “Hey,” you mumbled out weakly. “Can I come in?”

 “Of course.” He stepped aside, letting you into his home. It was your typical bachelor pad. Walls stark and devoid of any real character that you knew Jacob possessed. He led you over to the couch in the living room, an enormous piece of furniture designed for his large frame. It almost seemed to swallow you whole. “(Y/N) is everything ok?” There was concern in his eyes and you knew he was probably questioning your presence there after you’d been radio silent the last few days.

 “No.” The one-word answer was hard to push out without tears falling down your eyes. You could see how Jacob’s fingers itched to touch you and honestly that’s all you wanted right now, for him to just take you in his arms and somehow have all the answers, but he had to know the problem first. You took a deep breath trying to steel yourself for what you needed to tell him. “Jacob, I don’t know how to tell you this.” At that moment Jacob grabbed your hands and engulfed them in his giving you his support in just that simple touch. It gave you enough courage to blurt out the last part. “I’m pregnant.”

 You felt his hands slip a bit on yours at the shock of the news; his mouth working trying to form a sentence yet nothing coming out. It took a minute but he finally found his words. “Wow, um…ok…I hate to ask this…”

 This was the part you knew was coming, expected it really and you didn’t blame him at all. So, to spare him, you found yourself answering the unspoken question. “It’s yours.” He nodded but you felt the need to explain more. “I haven’t been with anyone since Vegas, and even before that, well, work was really busy, and…well let’s just say it had been over a month or longer.”

 “You don’t have to say anymore, (Y/N). I believe you.” His hands tightened on yours, the shock of everything starting to wear off. “Plus, we didn’t use protection.” It was something you didn’t give much thought to when you were with Jacob, which was odd because you’d always been extra cautious with hookups, but then everything with Jacob was different than anyone else. “Do you…do you know what you want to do?”

 This time you couldn’t stop the tears from flowing. “I tried, Jacob. I really did.” He looked confused, unsure of what you meant by that. “I went to get an abortion yesterday.” He blinked hard but other than that showed no expression. “I was sitting there on the damn table in a gown just waiting for the doctor to come in and then I looked around. There was this damn chart that showed what the size of your baby is every week compared to fruit of all things. It’s a blueberry by the way. A damn cute little blueberry, like the kind they put in muffins and stuff.” Why it had to be an adorable little fruit like that you didn’t know. Why couldn’t it be honeydew? You hated that fruit. Well maybe not hate, but it wasn’t your favorite that’s for sure. “Anyhow, I was just staring at that poster and looking at each week and I don’t know. I couldn’t breathe.” Kind of like now, even telling him brought back all those feelings. “I started thinking about the doctor telling me that I could hear the heartbeat next week when she did the ultrasound, and I’m not sure what happened, but I couldn’t go through with it; so, I left. I’m so sorry.”

 You weren’t quite sure if you were apologizing to him or yourself. This was something you didn’t want, at least not right now, or at least that’s what you always thought. Now, you didn’t know what you wanted anymore. You took a deep breath, composing yourself. “I booked a flight once I got home. I couldn’t tell you this over the phone or text. You deserved to hear it in person.”

 “Thank you for that.”

 You slipped your hands out of his, distancing yourself from him for this next part, but also pulling out the envelope you brought. “I’m going to keep the baby.” As if that part wasn’t obvious, but you somehow felt it needed to be said. “I had Aaron draw up some papers. They absolve you from any obligations to the child both financially and emotionally. All you have to do is sign them. You won’t even have to be listed on the birth certificate.” He took the envelope from your hands, glancing briefly at the contents inside. “I’m sure you’ll want to have your lawyer look it over.”

 Jacob didn’t know what to think. Ten minutes ago, he was wondering if you were ever going to speak to him again and now you were telling him you were having his child. A child you apparently didn’t want him to be a part of. But did he even want a baby? He certainly hadn’t wanted a wife, yet here he was still married to you. He should come clean right now and tell you that he hadn’t signed the papers yet. That some indescribable feeling had taken over him, and he wasn’t entirely sure he wanted to sign them anymore. And now, well, now he felt like he shouldn’t sign them. Maybe this was all some force in the universe steering his life in a different direction; a route he hadn’t planned on taking until later, yet here he was on it. “And what if I don’t want to sign them?”

 Well, that certainly wasn’t what you thought he’d say. You didn’t think this was something either of you wanted, but you couldn’t be certain. It wasn’t like the two of you had had this long talk about where you saw your life in five years. Hell, this wasn’t where you saw your life in five months, but here you were, on the verge of being divorced with a baby on the way. “Well, I guess we’ll need to figure things out then.”

 Jacob got up and started to wander around the living room. You weren’t sure if he was trying to decide whether or not he wanted to sign the papers or how he was going to be part of his child’s life. “Do you want a drink or something? I need a drink. Oh shit, you can’t drink, can you?”

 “It’s not advised, but please don’t let that stop you. Though if you have a water that would be great.” He headed towards the kitchen, which gave you a chance to just breathe. The hardest part was telling him, all the rest you’d figure out. He was back quicker than you expected, a bottle of water in each hand. He handed one over to you and sat back down beside you. “You know, you can think about this if you want. You don’t have to sign or not sign them right now.”

 He nodded and pursued his lips before answering, though not how you expected. “How long are you here for?”

 “A few days. There’s a movie being filmed not far from here. I offered to drop off some of the specs for the campaign, as long as I was here, but it also gives you some time to make a decision.”

 “I already have. I want to be in our baby’s life.” You don’t know why but it felt like a thousand pounds had been lifted off your chest. It was nice to know that you weren’t in this alone. “But there’s a lot to figure out.”

 “Yes, there is.”

 “(Y/N), this is going to sound crazy, but I want you to move here.”

 Pregnancy did weird things to the body and maybe your hearing things was one of them because you were pretty sure Jacob had just said he wanted you to move to Vancouver. “I’m sorry, you want me to move here, as in Vancouver?”

 “Well, yeah but I want you to move in here, like in my house.”

 He seemed dead serious and you weren’t sure how to take his suggestion or him at the moment. “But my life and my home are in LA. That’s where my job is.” Couldn’t he see that?

 “I know, but moving here just makes sense. I’ll be able to help you then, not just after the baby is born but before as well. I have plenty of room in this house. There are three spare bedrooms; we can turn one into a nursery for the baby.”

 How could go from finding out you were pregnant to a full out plan of attack in less than a half-hour? God, it took you a day to wrap your head around it when you found out and then another to make the decision about the abortion, and even then you still didn’t figure out you wanted to keep the baby until you were sitting in the doctor’s office. Jacob seemed to be processing everything much better than you were.

 “I don’t know Jacob, just because we’re having this baby together doesn’t mean we have to live together.” Everything with Jacob was still in this weird transition phase like you went from being wildly attracted to each other, to being married, to getting a divorce, to now having a baby, and now he wanted you to live together under the same roof. You didn’t even know if the two of you would get along that great. Sure, the sex was amazing, well really better than amazing if that was even a thing, and you seemed to get along if your conversations over the last several weeks were any indication, but to live together; that could just be a whole other problem altogether.

 “Look I know it’s a lot to ask and believe me if I could, I’d be willing to move to LA. It’s not like I can just ask to be traded there though. But I don’t want you to have to do this on your own.” It was awfully sweet of him to want to be there for you, and not just the baby. You’d just assumed that he’d want to see the baby on some weekends and maybe an extended time during the summer when he was off. “You don’t realize this yet, but there’s going to be a whole hockey family here for you. That’s just the way it is in this sport.” He grasped your hands then, the gesture one pleading in and of itself for you to see his side of things. “We can do this (Y/N), together.”

 Together, it sounded so nice. You knew that if he had decided to sign the papers that being a single mom was going to be tough, but now knowing that he wanted to be there every step of the way eased some of the burden you felt. It was just hard to think about giving up the life you’d built for yourself in LA. You were already giving up so much as it was. “I get what you’re asking, I really do. I just…it’s a lot.” His thumb started to run back and forth across your knuckles, softly urging you to his side without him even knowing it. “Can I think about it?”

 “Of course.”

 “I mean we don’t have to decide everything tonight.”

 “No, we don’t.” He smiled at you. The same one he gave you when you’d been in Vegas. It gave you butterflies in your stomach back then as it did now. “How are you feeling?”

 “Pretty good, I get a little queasy now and then; mostly when I’m hungry. I’ve learned to carry crackers with me everywhere.”

 “Well, I could make you something or we could order.” The fact that he even offered scored points in your book and was definitely a check on his side of the box for moving to Vancouver, and you were kind of hungry.

 “I mean, I haven’t really eaten.” He gave you a disapproving stare and you felt the need to justify why you hadn’t. “I was too nervous before.”

 “Well, then let’s get you something to eat.” Jacob led you out to the kitchen, where he took out some chicken along with some vegetables to stick in the oven. The two of you worked side by side getting dinner ready. You were midway chopping up some zucchini when Jacob brought the baby back up again. “You mentioned something about the heartbeat. Were you able to hear it?”

 “I have to schedule an ultrasound when I get back but they said that I should be able to.”

 “Mmm.” You weren’t exactly sure what that little hum meant. Was that a good hum, or a bad one? You stayed silent waiting for him to say more. “Do you think you could record it for me?”

 Why did your heart just flutter when he asked that? Was it because he wanted to hear the baby or was it because you were realizing how much he would be missing when you went back to LA? “I will,” you finally told him, but then had an even better idea. “Though you know, I’m here for four more days. Maybe we could find a doctor that would be able to do it while I’m here.”

 His face lit up, like a little boy on Christmas morning. “You would do that?”

 “Yeah. If we can find a doctor to squeeze us in.”

 “I’ll take care of it.” He pulled out his phone, you weren’t sure if he was searching for gynecologists or texting someone, either way, it was adorable how he just jumped in at the first mention of being a part of this whole pregnancy. Again, he was showing you just how nice it would be to share this with him. Ten minutes later he had an appointment all set for you in two days.

 During dinner you talked about how you had found out you were pregnant, telling him the story of how Kennedy was the one to point out your nausea wasn’t normal and that you should take a pregnancy test. She was the only one that knew you were pregnant. You swore her to secrecy, hoping that she wouldn’t spill the beans this time like she had about a certain movie star. Surprisingly, he wanted to know everything, though there wasn’t too much to tell. By the time you got the mess cleaned up from dinner, you were starting to feel the weariness of the day.

 “I think I’m going to head over to the hotel. I still need to check in. Hopefully, I’ll be able to sleep better tonight, now that you finally know.”

 “Stay.” The word fell out of Jacob’s mouth in almost an authoritative manner, which belied the puppy dog look on his face. He cleared his throat and tried again. “I mean you could stay here if you wanted. Sort of like a tryout or something.”

 “You mean trial run?” Leave it to his athletic side to call it a tryout. It made you laugh.

 “Yeah. We could just take the next few days and see how we do together.” It wasn’t a bad idea. “You call and cancel the hotel and I’ll go grab your bag from the car.” He was halfway to the door before you actually agreed.

 As Jacob went outside, he contemplated with himself as to where he should put your things. Did he just bring your luggage to his room or should he give you one of the spare rooms? Despite the fact you were carrying his child, his body still wanted you as much, if not more, than when you were in Vegas. He just wasn’t sure where you saw things going.

 You were just hanging up the phone when he walked back into the house and unbeknownst to him, you were wondering the same thing. However, your head kept telling you that if the two of you were going to make this work, you needed to keep things out of the bedroom, at least for now. Jacob must have had the same thought as you, for when he came in, he said, “Here, I’ll show you where the spare bedroom is.” The room was spacious but again, it wasn’t that homey, and occurred to you that if you decided to live here, you’d definitely need to make some changes. “Did you maybe wanna watch a movie or something, or are you tired?”

 You could see he was struggling in this unchartered territory as much as you were, and while you were exhausted; you still wanted to spend time with him, to see if moving to Vancouver was even an option. “I’d love to watch a movie. Do you mind if I change first?”

 “No, not at all.” He fidgeted with the back of his neck a bit, before turning to leave. “I’ll meet you back downstairs.”

 You really wanted to take a hot shower and crawl into bed, but instead, you opted for just washing up quickly and slipping on a pair of pajamas you’d brought. It was still warm in LA, though the nights were a bit cooler. All you brought to sleep in were a couple pairs of shorts and some comfy t-shirts, thinking that you’d be in a hotel room by yourself. Now, you were wishing that you’d thought about it a little more and packed something a little warmer, if not more modest. Why you cared, you weren’t sure, considering this man had seen you completely naked several times.

 Jacob had changed into some sweats by the time you got downstairs. He had bottles of water for you both along with a pack of crackers laying on the coffee table, and you had to admit your heart melted a little bit when you saw that. “So, what kind of movies do you like? I remember you saying no horror.”

 “We don’t have to watch a movie. I know the Bruins are playing tonight and that you play them tomorrow. Why don’t you just turn the game on?” He looked surprised that you knew his schedule, but you did a deep dive finding out as much information as you could once you found out you were pregnant. He was going to be the baby's father, even if he would've decided not to be in your child's life, though now that he decided he wanted to be, the information was even more useful.

 “Are you sure?” You nodded giving him the go-ahead to watch his opponents’ play. “Speaking of that, would you be interested in going to the game? I mean I know someone who could get you a ticket on short notice?” He looked so adorable when he asked you couldn’t tell him no.

 “I’d love to.” You’d watched very few hockey games live, though ever since Las Vegas, you’d been following the Canucks, well, more like Jacob. It would be fun to see him in action.

 “Great, I can leave you a ticket or have Erik’s fiancé come and take you. You’ll love her.”

 Jacob really wanted you to jump in with both feet, didn’t he? You weren’t quite sure if you were ready to meet all his friends and teammates, but you supposed that if you moved here this would be a part of your life. “If she wouldn’t mind that would be great.”

 “I’ll text him now.”

 “Jacob,” you stopped him, just by saying his name. “Can we keep the baby our secret for now? I know Kennedy knows and I don’t expect you to keep it to yourself, but I don’t want to broadcast it either. At least until we know what we’re doing.”

 He took your hand in his, the gesture reassuring. “Yeah (Y/N), we can do that.”

 It wasn’t long before your attire got the best of you and you found yourself tucking your feet underneath you on the couch trying to keep them warm. You thought that Jacob was fully absorbed in the game, but he caught the subtle movement. “Are you cold?”

 “A little.”

 He scooted your closer to him, his large frame wrapping around yours. You weren’t sure if it was his body heat or him just holding you, but it was definitely warmer in seconds, though Jacob still covered you with a throw blanket that was on the couch. “Better?”

 “Much.” It wasn’t long before you found yourself dozing off. The stress of the day and travel wearing on you. Your head fell softly against his shoulder and you sighed in contentment.

 Jacob felt your body relax against him and he savored the feel of it. He’d honestly missed this closeness to another person in a completely non-sexual way and having you in his arms just felt right. He should’ve been paying attention to the game, scouting out his opponents but instead all he could do was watch you, even before you fell asleep. His fingers were idly stroking your bare arm under the blanket, slowly inching their way down to your wrist. He didn’t realize they’d made their way to your midsection until they were there; just lightly caressing you, scared he would wake you, but he had to touch you there. He’d been dying to all night but been afraid to ask as if it was almost an invasion of your privacy even though you were carrying his child. His child. The thought both terrified him and thrilled him. Jacob always wanted kids; knew that someday he would have them. He just didn’t think it would be this soon. He always assumed that he’d start his family after hockey was over, but here he was with a wife and child on the way. It was something he hadn’t bargained for and never saw coming. Apparently, what happened in Vegas was a lot more than he gambled on.

 taglist: @iculyrea​  @fiveholegoal​  @raysofcrosby @leafs-lover​ @sexysidney87​ @lovethepreds​  @miranda0102​  @stbluesbrat21  @perrieeloise  @mandypants95​  @hockeyunits​  @liz96893  @golfergirl1982​  @princessphilly​  @ajstylesworld​  @zinka8  @dontworrybeekappy​  @hiimana  @meishaabae​ @heatherawoowoo @beauvibaby @hockeybabe87 @leafs-forever

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#What Happens in vegas series #whivdast #jacob markstrom #jacob markstrom imagine #jacob markstrom imagines #nhl imagine #nhl imagines #nhl fanfic #nhl fanfiction #hockey fanfic #hockey imagine #hockey imagines

[shuadotcom]

Memories of You | KSJ

❧ Summary: Your memories with Seokjin are some of your favorite.

❧ Pairing: Seokjin x Female!Reader

❧ Genre/AU: Fluff, established relationship

❧ Rating: NC-17

❧ Warnings: Some profanity, a very brief sex scene that’s not super descriptive, brief mention of a stalker

❧ Words: 2.4k

❧ Note: Happy belated birthday Mars baby! @joheunsaram​. I’ve been working on this slowly and it’s finally here for you! I was so torn on who in hyung line to have this be about, but I’ve seen you in Discord talking an awful lot about Seokjin lately so I went with him! Enjoy some painfully fluffy fluff! 💝 And thank you to the always wonderful @bangtanhome​ for being my beta so last minute! 💜

“Hey, so, I don't want to be rude or anything, but your skirt is tucked into your underwear.”

Seven years ago this was the first thing Seokjin ever said to you on your first day at your new office. You were nervous going into the day, having just transferred to this branch, moving across the world to manage a new group of people in a new country.

You were just leaving the bathroom and can remember the way your face heated up and how quickly you ran back into the bathroom, a few tears sliding down your cheeks as you wished you could disappear. Not only had your day only started, but your new coworker that pointed out your embarrassment just so happened to be exceptionally handsome.

After splashing some water on your face and taking a few deep breaths, you exited the ladies’ room to see the man standing outside, hands in the pockets of his slacks. He lifted his gaze from the floor and met yours. There was something about the way your eyes locked that made your face flush all over again as your heartbeat sped up. You couldn't properly describe what you felt at that moment, but it was something.

“Um, hi,” he cleared his throat and offered his hand out to you. “I'm Seokjin.”

“Y/n,” you managed. His hand was warm and soft and you didn't want to let go.

“I'm sorry about what happened. I just… I didn't want you to walk around like that. I'm pretty sure I'm the only one who saw it anyway, but I wanted to keep it that way.”

“T-thank you.” Your hands were still connected and neither of you made a move to let go. It wasn't until an older woman you knew to be the manager of another team cleared her throat, making you both separate. She pushed past you into the bathroom with a look of annoyance. You and Seokjin share a look before laughing.

“So we don't offend any more people, would it be okay if I walked you to your office? I’d be more than happy to give you a grand tour of the building this afternoon if you want.”

“That'd be great.” Seokjin smiled wide at your words and led the way. During the short walk, you learned he’s been with the company for three years and he promised to brief you on everyone and everything there is to know about being here. Once you arrive at your office door, you locked eyes again before he said goodbye and turned to go back to his desk.  Your earlier nervousness and hesitancy melted away at the prospect of this new person in your life.

“As soon as you texted me your address, I knew exactly where you lived.”

Seven years ago that was the first thing Seokjin said to you on your first date. You remember the panicked look on his face after the words left his mouth.

“Wait, I didn't mean it like that! I promise that I haven't been stalking you! One of my best friends named Namjoon lives in the same apartment building as you. He's up on the third floor so I've been there a lot. Please don't hate me or hit me or leave me or do any combination of the three! I swear, we can go back right now and go to his apartment and ask him!” Seokjin looked genuinely terrified as he glanced between you and the road with wide eyes. 

Honestly, you found the whole thing amusing.

“Seokjin, I believe you.”

“Y-you do?”

“Yes, it's not that serious. I was stalked back home for a little bit and as soon as I met the guy, I knew he was kind of off. I get no vibes like that from you.”

Seokjin let out a sigh of relief, but then his face frowned again as he gently asked about the stalker you mentioned. You were at a point where you could talk about it and went on to tell him about the man that had been in your college creative writing class. He was always interested in your writing and was always asking you questions about it. You were only classmates and never anything more, but you had gotten a bad feeling about him the first time you spoke to him.

Your early hunch was right of course when two months into the class you found out that he had been following you home for weeks. He would also follow you to work and even monitor your social media usage. You weren’t sure how long it would've gone on if he hadn't broken into your home one night and climbed into your window at the exact moment that your roommate walked into the room.

You felt yourself shiver as you retold the story. Seokjin's arm immediately came up and draped over your seat, hand grazing your shoulder. He pulled you closer to him and you instantly felt protected; like an invisible shield had formed around you because of him. It was surprising, but you didn't question it. You hugged your sweater closer to your body and stayed in his embrace as he drove.

“Happy birthday, Y/n. I'm going to kiss you now.”

Six years ago that was what Seokjin said to you right before you shared your first kiss. You’d been on two dates up until that one. You’d held hands and hugged of course, and the last time he dropped you off in front of your apartment door, he kissed your forehead. That night was not only date number three, but also your birthday.

Seokjin caressed your cheek before tilting your chin up. His gaze flickered from your eyes to your lips before he brought his mouth to yours. The kiss was sweet and you could smell his sweet cologne and feel how soft and plump his lips were. You quickly let your tongue dart out and rub against his lips. Seokjin was surprised but wasted no time in opening his mouth as your hands lightly grabbed his hair and he firmly held your hips. His mouth was warm and he tasted like sweet cream and strawberries from your birthday cake which sat forgotten on the floor next to you.

The sounds of the city that had been busy around you a few minutes ago quieted down and everything felt fuzzy. It was such a cliche, classic romance movie moment, but you were okay with that. You could criticize everything later; for at that moment, you were busy feeling something wonderful you had never felt before.

True love.

“I love you so much and I want you to feel good.”

Six years ago that was what Seokjin said to you during your first time making love. He said he loved you a year into the relationship so that wasn't new. This was the first time it made you feel this warm throughout every part of you. He was between your legs, peppering kisses down the inside of your thighs. He had already prepped you with his mouth and fingers, now you were just waiting for him.

“I love you so much. Tell me if you want me to stop, okay?" You nodded and opened your legs a little more. 

Seokjin positioned himself at your entrance before he began slowly entering you. It stung just the slightest as you felt yourself being stretched more than ever, but it wasn't enough for you to want to stop. When he was sheathed inside of you as far as he could fit, he held onto your hips as you reached up to grip his biceps. He leaned down and kissed you as he began thrusting, starting slowly before moving quicker, causing you to make sounds that seemed much more obscene compared to the tender moment.

The whole thing was over rather quickly, much to your shared dismay. You were both simply too excited to finally feel each other, that neither of you lasted very long. After ever so gently pulling out of you, he laid next to you and brought you close to his chest. A few tears slipped from your eyes, but they stemmed from happiness and nothing else. You felt incredible and so loved and it was all because of Seokjin.

“I fucking hate the fact that you keep talking to him and that you don't even care about my feelings!”

Five years ago that was what Seokjin said to you during your first real fight. You’d been through a few small disagreements here and there since you moved into Seokjin's much more spacious apartment. It was always over what to make for dinner or what color to paint the extra room he had or about one of you working late at the office. You were still technically in your honeymoon phase until about a week prior. A handsome new employee just started and had befriended you which Seokjin hated.

“How can you say I don't care about your feelings?! Your feelings are one of the most important things to me!”

“Well, then why are you still talking to Jungkook?! He likes you and you don't believe me! The way you're being nice to him, it's leading him on and you're acting like you're too stupid to know! You're a smart girl Y/n, open your damn eyes!”

“It's not my fault you're so goddamn insecure! Not all of my friends want to get in my pants!” Neither of you spoke then, instead opting to just stare at each other.

Seokjin moved first, grabbing his jacket from the coat rack by the door. “I'm going to Namjoon’s tonight. I'll call you when I can think clearly and continue this discussion.” He left without another word, slamming the door behind him.

“Fine, asshole!” You yelled at the closed door. You lowered yourself onto the couch and before you could help it, you were letting out quiet sobs. You were frustrated, confused and so many other things. Every couple was bound to have a first big fight about something, but it still hurt. You couldn't do anything but wait until Seokjin came home.

“I love you, Mrs. Kim.”

Two years ago that was what Seokjin said to you on your wedding day. You ended up having two weddings, one in Korea and the other in your hometown. Your friends and family looked on with smiles on their faces and tears in their eyes at the sight of you. The wedding was simple yet beautiful as you glowed in your dress.

“I love you too, Mr. Kim.” You say, leaning up to kiss him. At that moment, you felt like everything was right in the world.

“Just keep pushing, you can do it, baby."

A year ago that was what Seokjin said to you as you gave birth to your first child. He was right next to you, holding onto your hand and wiping your forehead with a cloth. You had an iron grip on his hand as you pushed as hard as you could. All it took was one more push and another blood-curdling scream from you before the baby was out and in the arms of a nurse.

"It's a baby girl." Both you and Seokjin watched the crying baby as she was cleaned off and brought over to you. The little girl had her father’s wide, brown eyes and your nose. She stopped crying and was simply staring up at her parents.

"Hello little one, I'm your mommy."

"And I'm your daddy."

The baby continued to stare before opening her mouth and letting out a scream that surprised you both.

"She has quite the set of lungs on her!" Seokjin struggled to say over the screaming child.

"She does! And she's all ours!" You smiled up at him, your heart filling with happiness and love for the small child in your arms. The joy you felt now with your little family was indescribable.

"The past seven years have been the best of my life and I'm so beyond lucky to have been able to spend them with you."

An hour ago that was what Seokjin said to you at your anniversary dinner. While you’ve only been married for two years, you always celebrate the first day you met; when Seokjin’s first caught sight of your purple striped panties.

Once your daughter is settled into her crib, the two of you go into your bedroom and lay in bed together, still clad in your formal clothes. Your head is against his chest and his arms are around you.

"Babe, I have a confession," Seokjin starts.

"Hmm?"

"I wanted to ask you out on that day, you know - the day we met. You were so flustered and cute, but I thought I’d scare you even more if I did, so I held back."

"I was flustered and cute huh? Sure it wasn’t just the free panty shot I gave you?”

Seokjin gives you a flat expression. "No, smart ass. You caught my attention as soon as you stepped into the room. Then I overheard you later in the day talking to someone at lunch about the plans you had for the year and how excited you were to meet everyone on the team. You sounded so confident in yourself and your leadership. After that, I had it all planned out in my head. I was going to eat lunch with you and drop a very suave pick-up line about how we should go out sometime."

You snort and glance up at him. "Lucky for you I embarrassed myself when I did. I've heard your pick-up lines and no matter how attractive I thought you were I don't think younger me would've been that entranced to fall for it." Your comment earns you a few tickles to the ribs, a laugh bubbling out as you flinch away from him.

"Yeah well, now you're stuck with me and my bad pick-up lines forever." He places a kiss on your forehead and drapes one of his long legs over yours.

The word 'forever' fills you with glee. You consider yourself lucky every day that you’re able to say you’ll get to spend the rest of your life with this man. Seokjin isn’t perfect and you’ve been through many things over the years as a couple, but at the end of the day, the joy and love that you feel when you’re with him means more to you than anything. Knowing you've found the person you want to and are going to spend the rest of your life with is the best feeling in the world.

#hyunglinenetwork #clubzerooclock #btsnoonanet #btsghostie #btswritingcafe #heartsforbts #bangtanarmynet #52hertz #btshoneyhive #btsgoldnet #thebtswritersclub #bangtaninn #magicshopnet #seokjin x reader #jin x reader #seokjin fluff #jin fluff #kim seokjin fanfic #kim seokjin