#yes he is wearing a shirt so I dont have to deal with his tattoos

[mintmoth]

OKAY I'm gonna do a big ask response here! There's a few I didn't grab which are mostly just people saying sweet things- to which honestly I can't thank you all enough 😭 it's so wild to me to see people enjoying my art so much

I'm gonna keep most of the replies under the cut since it's gonna get a bit long but I wanted to touch on this one real quick-

Absolutely anyone is free to use my art as an icon wherever! Just be sure to have something crediting somewhere and yeah absolutely go for it!

OH ALSO my submissions don't work on mobile for some reason? The formatting messes up I guess, but check out this awesome coloring!! I love how the layers of shading look 😭

LMAO okay so I've seen a good handful of older/mafia au designs for Floyd and Jade and a lot of them have either both of them with double sleeves or Floyd with sleeves and Jade with a back piece- though I've also seen somewhere both of them having one sleeve on the opposite side

Right now I'm just messing around so I don't have any official tattoo designs for either of them, but I do know I want Floyd with at LEAST the double sleeves, and Jade with some pieces he keeps hidden by mostly wearing business attire lmao

XBSISNK THANK YOU 😭😭 honestly drawing hair is one of my absolutley FAVORITE things to draw lmao, most of my ocs have long hair I just can't help it honestly

YES ABSOLUTLEY probably not too often but I could definitely see Azul going to bed and waking up to a very full bed lmao. Funnier yet because I think all three of them are the type to cling in their sleep when they have someone else beside them. They're just weird sea creatures used to small comfy spaces

I actually haven't thought about this! Honestly I think that would be really cool! Or even if he found that he had a specific shade range of color blindness as a human- though I could see Jade and Floyd taking advantage of that by doing something like giving him the wrong color shirt to wear that day or something lmao

Though you also reminded me! Eels also have terrible eyesight! So I've seen people both having the headcanon that the twins wear contacts, and also the headcanon that Azul needs glasses now because he did a deal to give part of his vision to both of them

Honestly it's really cool to think about! I don't know which headcanons here I like the most, but I love seeing them

Okay honestly I absolutley have to draw this because I LOVE this idea and part of why I'm answering this is to mentally catalogue that I need to draw this lmao

I also love this idea! Like at lunch, after classes before they go to work at the lounge, and after the lounge closes up for the night it just becomes the twins' gossip hour lmao

Because yeah they do spend a lot of time together, but they're still apart a lot, and there's no way they're not telling each other about all the nonsense they're getting up to once they meet back up

DBSISNSK DONT CRY LMAO I got a handful of questions about Niles I want to try to touch on here

Absolutley he wouldn't mind helping anyone set up games on their computer lmao, especially if it's a hard to get visual novel that he's a fan of because he's the type to want everyone to play and love the games he loves

He's definitely dropped hundreds of hours into "creature crossing" with one of those islands with tons of customization and cute shit, and his "island creatures" are mostly cats with a couple dogs and the pegasus LMAO

Also while he's not directly inspired by any specific character, since he's in Ignihyde he does have a little Greek mythos theming and has some inspiration from Eros, which is also why he's very "love" themed/romantic

OH MAN I'm actually not 100% sure which moray I think the twins would be, I'd have to look more into them specifically

But I did want to mention that my idiot self is tempted to make Yet Another Oc (though I probably won't post this one since I feel very oc heavy already) that's also a moray- but specifically a snowflake just because wow I want to make a design around the coloration they have 😭

ALSO!!! Regarding Eel Anon!

I wasn't able to screenshot everything you sent but it was absolutley fun hearing about the dorm idea you have!! I love hearing about new dorm concepts and I've seen a couple nightmare before christmas dorms so it's neat to see the different ideas people have! Also no way do Eri and Rika sound like knock offs of the twins lmao they both sound really fun and I like how they juxtapose one another- also how you have their whole family worked out??? It just reminded me I need to do some more backstory work for my group lmao but honestly it was really cool reading about them so don't even worry about long asks or anything!

#ask #anonymous #felix-the-lemon-king #verticalsea #freedfromthedark #echoversit #eel anon #mint rambles

[negantwd4l]

Regret.. part 1

Boyfriend’s dad!negan x fem reader

This is my first ever fan fic!! So please be nice😭 if you have any tips lmk pleaseee

I honestly dont like it but that happens everytime I make something so lmk what y’all think

I kind of got carried away but there will be a part 2 soon🤫

This is pre-apocalypse obvi

18+ only

This will be smutty it will include

Oral (f receiving), getting caught, age gap (reader is 20-23, negan is 50ish..?), cheating, fingering

You’ve suspected that your boyfriend has been cheating on you but you never really had proof so you’d just move on. That was until last week, you were going through his camera roll while he was in the shower to find a picture to post but instead you came across a sex tape. You watch it out of curiosity and you notice that isn’t you in the video but that was him. You’d recognise that curvy dick anywhere, you and Nate (ur bf) would have sex all the time but you never had the heart to tell him that you never enjoyed it so you’d just fake it. You put his phone down where you found it and zoned out while you tried to process what you just saw until he got out the shower and pretended you didn’t know.

Two weeks later

You still haven’t told him you know as your too stressed to deal with him trying to win you back and plead his case because you are about to start finals and have so much studying to do. You ring the doorbell to his house and surprisingly his dad negan answers the door. “Well hello there, doll!” He says in his raspy voice. Ever since you met him he’s been super flirty and you never minded it as you found him attractive but you were dating his son, then a thought flew by your mind ‘sleep with him, Nate will regret ever touching another women’ “you okay there?” His voice pulls you out of that thought and you smile “yeah, sorry. Can I come in? Me and Nate are having a movie night.” “Yes of course” he moves slightly out of the way for you so you have to brush against him to get past. “Is it okay if I join you for the movie night? I know it would be weird as I’m his dad but I feel like watching some movies yknow?” He asks voice still raspy. Your previous thought about revenge wonders to your mind again “I’d love for you to join us” you say smirking. “Alright! Let me know when you start the movies then” he then wonders off to his room just as your boyfriend comes down the stairs making your smile disappear and a fake one coming through “hey baby” he says while checking you out. Your wearing a blue low cut top and a short black skirt with some jewellery to complement your outfit. He drags you upstairs to his room which is right across the hall from negans, and you couldn’t help but look through the small crack in the door and see him without a shirt on, you look down at his perfect torso and admire the tattoos on his body as you look up you notice him looking at you too and he winks, you feel a pool burning between your legs as you turn to enter Nate’s bedroom even though you’d much rather be in negans.

“Shhh keep it down your dads in the next room” you say to him still thrusting inside you and not listening. You realise he’s getting close so you pretend you are too as he starts grabbing at your boobs, 10 seconds later he unloads in you and pulls out after “I said pull out before!! What the fuck!” You yell out not caring that his dad might hear. “I’m sorry It’s fine it’s not like your on your period anyways” that comment made your blood boil so you took your bra and shirt to the bathroom to put on and calm down. In that moment you decided to do it. You were going to seduce and fuck negan and make sure Nate knows. You come out the bathroom and make your way towards your boyfriends room. “look I’m sorry I just don’t want to risk it” you say leaning against the door frame he looks at you and apologises and asks if you wanna start the movies, of course you said yes because you wanted to see negan. You guys headed downstairs and see his dad already looking for a movie to watch “what do you think of a scream marathon?” He asks already putting the first one on, “do we have a choice?” Nate says laughing.

Your boyfriend had this weird thing about him that he has to sit in a one seater chair during a movie so you and negan sat next to each other on the couch, every now and then his arm or leg would brush against you and everytime your stomach would swirl and you’d start blushing. You didn’t think he noticed but he actually did and would smirk everytime but you were too busy trying to hide your blushing to notice. About 45 minutes into the 3rd movie Nate started to snore so you and negan looked at each other and starting laughing. You pause the movie and take him up to bed and he passes straight back out so you went downstairs to keep watching the movies with negan “finally, what took you so long? It’s like you had a quickie” he says teasingly at you while smirking. “Thank god we didn’t” you say under your breathe not sure if he heard you or not he then turns his head to you “why?” “Doesn’t matter” and he shrugs it off. After watching the movie for another 20 minutes he turns and looks at you, you look at him confused. “I have to tell you something and you won’t like it” you look at him even more confused until he continues “Nate has been.. he’s been cheating on you” he says with sorrow in his eyes “thank you for telling me, but I already know” he gives a confused look while thinking of something to say. “It’s fine, I found out 2 weeks ago” “then why are you still with him?” Not wanting him to know your intentions yet you don’t say anything back but he grabs your chin gently so you look at him “I’ve heard you two before, I could give you a real orgasm.” He says bearly above a whisper. Your mouth drops open in shock and he’s still looking at you with a smirk. ‘How did he know’ is all that’s going through your head right now “you need a real man who knows what’s fake and what isn’t. I can be that man” your mouth still open from shock as he whispers it in your ear. Without thinking you smash your lips against his hungrily and he returns it with the same amount of hunger and passion grabbing the back of your neck to pull you deeper in the kiss and you start to unbuckle his dark blue jeans in hopes of a real orgasm when he pulls back from the kiss and stops your hands, you look at him confused and ask “what’s wrong?” Hoping your not humiliating yourself he reply’s “not yet darlin’, I want to take my time with you because I’ve wanted this for so long and i know you have too” he does his infamous smirk as you bite your bottom lip, then suddenly he whispers “let’s make sure Nate knows what your real orgasm sounds like” and suddenly he’s picked you up and taking you to his room right across from Nate’s. He throws you on the bed gently but rough at the same time and doesn’t close the door all the way and you know why so you giggle a little because you can’t believe this is actually going to happen.

He looks at you seriously and asks “if you want to stop at anytime just say so. I won’t be mad, I just want to make sure your okay” you nodded and smiled at him before plunging your lips back to his and you could feel him smile against your lips, he starts kissing your jawline and you loved the way his salt and pepper beard rubbed against your neck. He slowly starts making his way down your neck after possibly leaving a hickey on your neck to your cheekbone you could feel yourself practically dripping at this point and you loved it. Suddenly he stopped and looks at you “why’s this shirt still here darlin’”before slowly slipping it up leaving kisses over where he removed the shirt until he got it over your head and starts kissing you again. He looks down to your red lacy bra and you could feel his pants tightening under your thigh which only made you wetter. He slowly removes the bra before taking a nipple to his mouth and sucking then moving to the other doing the exact same thing, he bit down on it making a moan slip out of your throat making him practically purr “ohh you like it rough don’t you, you dirty girl.” He said before slowly making his way down your stomach with kisses making you squirm under him. He was about to reach your waistband before you stopped him and looked at you concerned before you smirked then continuing to take his shirt off and seeing his upper body made you moan without even being touched, he smirked “like what you see? Don’t blame you I would stare too” “such smugness, better not be making up for something that’s lacking” you bit your lip as you looked at the spot where his jeans tightened to give him a hint “such a rude girl, do I need to punish you?” He says in a sinister tone his eyes going dark, he doesn’t wait for you to say anything back before smashing his middle finger in your tight cunt making you whimper in pain and pleasure “do I need to repeat myself?” “No” you manage to get out still in shock from his fingers smashing into you “no what?” “No daddy” “good girl. I know that’s what you call me when masterbaiting to me at night” he wasn’t wrong, your vibrator knows it too. He pulls his fingers out slowly making you whimper softly he then takes the finger and moves it into his mouth “damn you taste good darlin’” he then proceeds to move his face down to your wet pussy when you realise you panic “wait! No one’s ever done that to me before” you confess as he looks at you with a grin “so I get to be the first one to eat out your pussy. Good. And oh it seems you’re even dirtier than I thought, no panties?” You must’ve left them in Nate’s room but suddenly your train of thought was interrupted when a tongue fell on your sensitive clit making you moan loudly “that’s it baby, let me hear you” he goes straight back down and sucks your bundle of nerves making you moan again getting a groan out of him and the vibrations making you get closer to the edge. This was like nothing you’ve ever felt before in the best way possible, he continues sucking and licking then a finger pushes in you pumping in and out, then two fingers stretched you making you cry out in pain and pleasure. Your head falls back to the mattress as your eyes roll back as well. The burning ball in your stomach starts intensifying as his fingers start curling and hitting your g-spot “yes daddy f- faster please” you could barely get it out between your toes curling and one hand pushing his head down as far as it’ll go to get as much friction as you can you could barely get out words, only moans. But he listens and his pace fastens making you moan even louder. As your about to reach the edge a door opens. Nate’s door. Your in too close to care that negans door swung own and Nate stood there frozen and your eyes locked right as your orgasm ripped through you with so much force you bellowed out in pleasure. once your done negan turns around to Nate who’s still frozen “see now that’s what her real orgasm sounds like” he says, his beard covered in your juices and kicks the door shut.

#negan #the walking dead #smut #fanfic

[caninecigarette]

This dudes... i love them! Kamisero sketch that i will finish one day, I don't kwon if i can call this an AU, but is kinda fanservise, sooo, yea, this is call "almost adults, basically they are like dealing with the adult life, living without their familys ("alone"), dealing with hero work and the hero society.

They have some big problems with all this new life, UA was not easy, everything that happen, but now everything just seems worseNGJKFNJKFSNJHKS

This is Sero caring Kaminari off a party, Kaminari is wearing Sero's shirt, so, that's why he dont have a shirt on, Denki was wearing short reveling clothes, because he is super sexual, he likes being sexy a "barbie boy" or a "sexy boy", he fells great. They are both bissexuals. Hanta is more of a vegan hippie style vibe.

I just love them, they are my favorites, and yes, hanta cover himself in piercings and tattoos because yes, i think it suits him, it's a black widow in his face-

#Serohanta #kaminaridenki #denki #sero #mha #bnha #bnhaau #mhaau #au #fanart #mhafanart #bnhafanart #kamisero #serokami

[regulusmasamuneartportfolio]

Molly having the time of his life doing silk act. Critical Role Fanart Original Sketch:

#when you color a sketch for fun and it ends up being good enough for your portfolio by accident #mollymauk #mollymauk tealeaf #critical role #critical role campaign 2 #silk act #circus arts #aerial acrobatics #silk acrobatics #molly #peacock #teifling #yes he is wearing a shirt so I dont have to deal with his tattoos #i did his face first and was like #this is the most molly ive ever drawn molly #i had too much fun with this #cr #cr mollymauk #cr fanart #critical role fanart #fanart #dungeons and dragons #dnd #circus #silk #circus silk #regulusmasamune #art of regulusmasamune #regulusmasamune art #regulusmasamune portfolio

[littlemisslipbalm]

“you make me so angry sometimes”

idk if this gif makes sense, but i feel like it will if you read the story, it just gives me that vibe. 

A one shot I cooked up idk, it’s about Harry and a makeup artist on DWD, it’s quite angsty, idk how that happened, it’s also very long, idk how that happened either, maybe i do a part 2, maybe i don’t idk lmk. Feedback is appreciated, not proofread. REBLOGS help writers tremendously and i love reading whatever you write in the tags its my favorite thing!! Love yall and Merry Christmas!

Word Count: 17.7k | Warnings: ENEMIES to LOVERS! swearing, angst!, some anxiety -like self-doubt, yn being mean to harry kind of a lot, i dont remember, nothing too crazy, Nick Kroll?, lots of conversation

-

When she pictured herself as a makeup artist in Los Angeles, she hadn’t pictured exactly what she was doing right now.

She had expected doing gorgeous makeup for gorgeous actresses or doing wildly fun stuff like in Euphoria. And because of that she had worked her ass off to get where she was today. She had practiced for hours, worked countless hours for free, and networked to the cows came fucking home.

So why the fuck was she using tattoo-strength concealer to cover up the maybe 60 tattoos some asshole musician turned actor had all over?

Don’t Worry Darling was her first major film to work on so she couldn’t complain. She was happy to simply be there. Well she had been. The first day she had showed up 15 minutes early and had worn her favorite power suit she had. It was dark navy with a white lace long sleeve turtleneck underneath. She hoped to look fun but professional.

Hollywood was all about impressions, especially first ones, even when you’re the makeup artist. She had quickly learned that she was one of six makeup artists. One of them being the friend who had helped her get the job, Angie. Angie was like her surrogate mother in Los Angeles that she had met on her first film job for something much less high profile than Olivia Wilde’s second directing project. Her braided grey hair and fabulous jeans had drawn Y/N right in and they had connected instantly.

Since Y/N was deemed the most inexperienced by the head of the makeup department, she was relegated to easier jobs: assisting the other artists on main characters sometimes, mostly dealing with minor characters touch ups (and full make-up if she was lucky), and the job nobody wanted: tattoo coverage.

Harry Styles was one of the leads for the film and besides his minimal acting, everyone knew he was a worldwide rockstar. With the rock and roll life starting off as a popstar life at the ripe age of 16, he had amassed around 60 tattoos in the past decade. Impressive by her standard normally. She usually counted herself as an appreciator of tattoos and their art, finding them similar to makeup and the self expression that came with both forms. Especially since she had a few of her own, but when she walked into Trailer #6 and saw a good amount of Harry’s tattoos, she wanted to murder every artist he’d ever been to.

She had to make an inventory the first day of all of his visible tattoos when he was just wearing boxers. He had been friendly, trying to make conversation, but as the time wore on, they both grew tired and silent. She had to write down the location and a description of every tattoo and as he took off everything but boxers she grew more and more annoyed with his random and dumb tattoos. Some of them were amazing, the eagle, the anchor, the butterfly, and the ferns were probably her favorites. But some of them, she couldn't hold back her rolling eyes and annoyed expressions. The “Big” on his right big toe, a miniscule lock, almost everything on his inner left arm (the packers logo, Pingu, etc.)

She traces at the rose and the ship and then flips his arm out to reveal his inner arm to her gaze. “That is a big fucking bee.”

He snickers, “Y’like it?”

She ignores his question. “For god’s sake, someone is needle happy,” she said as she examined his left arm, taking note of every permanent drawing.

He shrugs his right shoulder, uninhibited by her prodding. “Dunno, beginning to regret some of them.”

“I would hope,” she mutters, scribbling on her paper the various ones she had just seen on his arm. Next was his ribcage ones.

He scoffs, “Oi, it’s not like you haven’t got any.”

“How would you-” She looks at him wide eyed.

“Right…” he takes his right hand and pushes her hair past her ear to reveal three little red line butterflies following the curve of her ear, “There. At least.”

She huffs and knocks his hand away from her. Her hair falling back into its place.

“Maybe some located in a few more intimate places I’m guessing from the red rushing to your cheeks right now.”

“Can you just let me do my job,” she says, not giving in to his teasing or sparing him a glance as she feels his intense gaze on her face. She was studying his left rib cage where a few cool tattoos happened to be.

“You at least have some taste or persuasive artists because not all of these are shit,” she speaks again after just the sound of her pen on the paper filled the trailer.

“Gee, thanks,” he laughs unamused and rolls his large green eyes.

She thought he had some of the biggest eyes she’d ever seen. But she also knew to keep that to herself because he’d either take it as a compliment and think she was noticing him too much or he’d take it as a massive insult and get her fired.

His right hand taps at his thigh, tapping a rhythm she didn’t care to pay any attention too. She just wanted to finish the stupid inventory of the stupid tattoos on this stupid man.

“Take those off,” she says to Harry, looking back at her clipboard again, filling up quickly with her notes.

He stands there, staring at her stubbornly. He was entirely bored with this exercise, especially since his company was some of the worst he’s ever had. She spares him a glance when she doesn’t notice any slipping off of the colorful sweatpants he’s wearing.

She arches a brow at him, her pen tapping impatiently against the paper. “Go on. Can’t imagine you want this to go on longer than it already has.”

He rolls his eyes again, slipping his thumbs into the waistline of the pants and tugging down. Simultaneously, he toes off the dirty vans he seemed to wear everywhere. The fabric pools easily and he steps out of them and discards them on the couch behind him. He’s actually wearing black briefs. She chooses not to notice anything further than that.

“Socks...can stay on,” She tries to say as he begins to peel one off. He stops midway and nods.

She flings his shirt to him, not needing to see his naked torso for another moment, “I know you’ve got some feet and ankle tats, but I also know that you won’t be wearing anything that will expose them. Thank your lucky stars that I don’t have to makeup your feet.”

He catches the shirt easily and slips his arms inside before tugging it quickly over his head and over his expansive shoulders. The ferns disappear out of sight.

“Well then we’re almost done then. Just got the knee ones -”

“And the tiger. That’s gonna be one son of a bitch,” she sighs and examines his legs, not bothering to crouch.

“What the actual fuck dude?” Her tone is exasperate and like she would rather be anywhere else than here.

“I’m sorry?” He sputters, hands on his hips and eyes bewildered.

“Yes. No. Oui. Non. Who are you?” She rubs at her eyes and shakers her head.

“S’a little rude.”

“You’re right,” she semi-rushes out at his serious tone, ready to apologize. When a grin spreads over his face and he chuckles under his breath she really wants to smack him upside the head. He was exhausting. “You’re unbelievable.”

“Thought it was funny at the time. Kind of think it’s even funnier now since it’s got you all mad.” He leans over her shoulder to look at her notes and when she glances at him unhappily he just looks smug.

“Alright,” she finishes the scribble of a description and clicks the end of her pen, “All done. You can get dressed. I’ll see you bright and early for tattoo makeup. It’s gonna take about an hour to do all this, just so you can mentally prepare for that.”

“It was nice to meet you,” he attempts at a friendly and professional farewell. “See you tomorrow…” he trails off as he watches her turn on her heel and walk out of the trailer door swiftly. The door swung shut and bounced a little bit in her wake.

Harry sighed and adjusted his clothes and hair in the mirror. After a moment he shakes his head, an even louder sigh escaping him.

-

“Good morning!” She greets happily, walking into the trailer without a knock. Well-rested and happy at least that she doesn’t have to just inspect a body, she looks around the trailer.

She realizes no one is there and she’s taken aback. First of all, if Harry wasn’t there then he shouldn’t have left his trailer unlocked. And second, he was fucking late, the fucking twat.

She grumbles, setting her coffee on the countertop. She closes her eyes and takes a deep breath. “In through the nose, out through the mouth” she mutters. She knew this was a big opportunity and having a big star like Harry in her corner could make her career. She needed them to get off on a better foot today.

“Good form, I’d say relax the shoulders a little more,” the door swings open carrying the California twang-British accent that she would soon become all too accustomed to.

Harry points at her shoulders and narrows his eyes regarding her in the trailer. She offers a strained smile through the mirror and Harry sets down his personal things on the couch.  

“Alright, well let’s get started shall we,” she smiles and turns to him, gesturing to the swivel chair next to her.

He nods, a twinkle in his eye as he regards her. He’s unsure of the tone and attitude she’s giving him today. She had been feisty yesterday, cordial at times, but mostly biting and witty. He had liked it. It had made the whole ordeal bearable whereas now she seemed to be laying it on a little thick.

“Just your hands and neck today,” she says, pulling out the makeup materials needed and a checklist of the tattoos she needed to make sure were invisible.

“Should only take..a little under an hour today. Just gonna remind you now though, other days we won’t be so lucky.”

Harry chuckles under his breath and rolls his head around his shoulders before sitting in the chair. “Were you tired yesterday?” He inquires.

“Why do you ask?” She throws a glance over her shoulder at Harry. He’s begun slipping off his sweatshirt and yawns as he does it.

“You seem different from yesterday and I’m just wondering which one is the real you.”

She continues working about the room and rolls her eyes to herself, “I’m always the real me. I come no other way, but this morning I woke up and thought ‘this is the job you’ve fucking wanted for ages, so stop being such a bitch so you don’t get fired, you prick’.” She pauses and turns to face Harry. “The ‘you prick’ was directed at me, that was still part of my thought,” she adds.

He throws his head back and laughs. Then he nods, still laughing lightly, “I get that. Sometimes I’m just so in my head and yesterday I was just so fuckin’ bored. Sorry if I got on your nerves.”

“Don’t mention it.” She waves her hand at him nonchalantly.  

Then she moves to inspect his hands and notices the lack of rings, unlike yesterday when she had to make him take them off.

“You have amazing cuticles,” she notices and mentions without any pretences. Harry mutters his thanks, pursing his lips as he watches her work.

She stops her inspection and places the clipboard on the countertop in front of them.

“Could you take your necklaces off? I need to cover up half of the swallows and the years, for when you unbutton your shirt a bit.”

He wets his lips and nods, hands going to fiddle with the clasps behind his neck. He slips off one of the necklaces with ease, a yellow eye beaded necklace that he lays gently on the countertop next to the clipboard. Then he takes his cross and pulls it over his head, no clasp needed.

“Could I put some music on?” Harry asks after five minutes of Y/N working in silence and Harry only being able to stare either at himself, her work, or nowhere.

“I can,” she stops her work for a moment, “Can’t have you messing up the makeup before it sets. Otherwise I’d have to kill you.” Harry can’t be sure if she’s joking or not. Therefore, he was intent on not messing it up.

“Any requests?” She stands at the counter now, instead of seated on a stool working on Harry's left hand.

He shrugs, like he hasn’t got the faintest idea about good music. She refrains from rolling her eyes once again because she feels herself in a test. She wets her lips, sifting through different things in her Spotify and then lands on her playlist titled “it’s your song” named after Elton John’s song. It had some other musicians, a mix of Queen, Bowie, and more and she was sure she would pass the test.

She presses shuffle and She’s Always A Woman by Billy Joel begins to play over her laptop. Harry nods pleased and she wants to shake her head at him.

She can’t hold back the scoff though after a moment of going back to finishing his hand.

“What?” His British accent thickens with his annoyance growing.

“Nothing,” she chirps, intently putting the final touches on his wrist.

“Seriously. What?”

She stands and sets down the makeup. “Can you unbutton your shirt?” She made a note to herself that from now on she’d have to have him take his shirt off before setting to work because if his hands got messed up she’d have to start over. Thankfully he was already wearing a button up this morning.

He stares at her, offering no movement, just inquisitively waiting for her to respond to his original question.

She shuts her eyes, taking another deep breath and then bites at her lower lip. “It’s just...you’re so easy to read.” She fears adding anything else and moves towards him with the makeup hoping to encourage him to unbutton his shirt.  

His right hand deftly pulls at the buttons as he regards her. His eyes are intent on her, she can see him clearly calculating her. Her green paisley button up tucked up into the back of her bra leaving a splay of her stomach. The semi-balloon sleeves cinched at the wrists leading to her slightly ringed hands. The oversized blue jeans that have no holes, just a tiny patch right next to the left pocket. The frayed ends of the pants laying over her rather pristine white old skool vans.

The Boxer fades in as she waits for him to finish the unbuttoning of the shirt. He’s still staring at her.

“Am I?” He finally inquires, voice pitched higher like he doesn’t believe her.

She gives him a serious stare and leans over him and adjusts the collar of his shirt. She adds paper towels to avoid makeup on his clothes.  

“Yes!” She laughs, “And you don’t even think so, which is like...of course.”

He hums, tilting his head back as she sets to work on covering up the swallows. He wiggles his hands that now both rest on the arm chairs.

“I don’t see it.”

“Of course you don’t,” she glances at his face, their eyes meeting for a moment. “You’re Harry Styles. Everyone is in love with this image you created for yourself and it has just enough of your true self that people feel like they really know you, but you also maintain the illusion. So you think you’re this mysteriously amazing, not like the rest guy, but you are just like the rest of them. Obsessed with yourself and rich so you’re deemed eccentric rather than crazy for all the extravagant shit you do. So when you want me to play music and don’t offer any suggestions I know exactly what music I need to play for you to like me.”

“I feel like that last part says more about you than it does me,” he quirks a brow at her, straining his neck to look at her face as she continues to work.

She flushes, his response both better and worse than she expected. She had gotten a little carried away in her response and she had no idea why. She truly wasn’t one to go off on people so easily and especially not with someone she hardly knew, but something about Harry had her on edge. She was just thankful he hadn’t gotten mad at her response, instead he took it in stride. Further proving her point that he was extremely smart and did things purposefully and she saw right through it all.

She grumbles, “It says that all anyone has to do to get close to you is understand the smallest bit about you and you’ll let them in.”

“That is just so completely wrong, Y/N, I hate to break it to you.” It’s Harry rolling his eyes now, unable to move much more of his body as she continues painting on the concealer to remove his tattoos for the movie.

“Fine. Enlighten me on what I got wrong.”

Their argument had all but drowned out their music. They both did love this music and ironically if they would just shut their mouths, they’d probably like each other a lot more.

“Might as well,” he sighs. “First of all, my image is authentic and of course I don’t want to give myself all away. I enjoy my privacy and for everyone to truly know me I’d have to give that up. Which I’m not keen on. So, I regret to inform you but I am the same guy everyone is “in love with”. Second, I know I am a little self-involved, how else would I get here if I wasn’t constantly taking inventory of myself and reevaluating who I am. As a musician, I want to give as much of myself as possible or else it just feels inauthentic. And the extravagant thing, I can’t help that I like nice things and my job has allowed me to afford those things.”

He stops to take a deep breath and she’s working in stunned silence, in disbelief that Harry is even telling her any of this or that he’s spoken that much and so quickly. Wasn’t he notorious for speaking slowly with barely even a sentence worth of actual information. He sounds tired and frustrated, but also, surprisingly, sincere.

He continues, “The music thing. Maybe it was a test, but still it doesn’t mean I give everyone a mile when they say their favorite musicians match up with mine or something. I note that they either did their homework or might be an interesting person to get to know.”

“So which am I?” She widens her eyes.

“Obviously the second even if you’re also making it painfully clear that you don’t like me.”

“You’re smarter than I thought, Harry. I’ll give you that,” she smirks slyly, finishing up the bird coverage now.

He laughs. “Thanks,” he drawls out.

“And I admit that maybe you aren’t as easy to read as I made out, but I think we’re going to have to agree to disagree about the whole being your authentic self. I just don’t buy it. I can see your mind working constantly, you’re not one to just let yourself be free in public. And I’m not saying that’s a bad thing, I’m just saying, you shouldn’t pretend like that’s not what you’re doing.”

Her final thought leaves Harry silent. She pays no attention to his silence or at least she’s actively ignoring it. Instead she tunes back into the music that had gotten them back onto the wrong foot. This was going to be a long few months.

When she’s satisfied with her work, she has them sit there for thirty minutes to give it all time to set before Harry is off to hair and other makeup. They sit there listening to music. Neither of them have spoken again, except instructions from her and Harry’s hums of approval of songs.  

Harry stands up after thirty minutes as she stays behind to pack up some items. Just as he’s about to step out of the door, he turns and calls her name.

“For the record, I don’t think you’re giving me a fair shot. You said yourself that you’re different every day. That every version of you, is you. So I hope you’ll give me the same allowance, every version of me is me. In this trailer, in my music videos, on tv, in interviews, in my free time. It’s all truly me.”

She bites her inner cheek as he ducks his head and exits the trailer, not allowing her any response.

-

“You’re late!”

“Meeting ran over with Nick and Olivia. Sorry,” Harry says as he begins to undress.

It’s the first day she has to cover all of his tattoos. It was going to take forever by all accounts. It had been two weeks since shooting had begun and she had gotten the simple hands and neck down to 45 minutes so she could only dread what his entire body would take.

“It’s fine,” she grumbles, knowing there wasn’t really anything else she could say about him coming late from a meeting with the director and producer.

Over the last two weeks, they hadn’t grown any fonder of one another. Not at all. They at least had gotten into a system though and she was grateful for that at least.

They showed up, Harry got in his chair, she set up the music, and they got to work. Harry would practice lines on some days and he’d tell her that before she turned on the music so there were no interruptions. Sometimes they talked about stuff on set or music or she’d give Harry his line when he was trying to be off script and forgot one. She wouldn’t classify it as pleasant, but they weren’t at each other throats like they were originally.

Trailer 6 had gotten a little homier as the weeks went by, too. Harry began leaving some of his stuff there and he started putting up silly drawings he would make while on set or polaroids people had taken with him while he was there. He tacked up napkins of restaurants that catered the set and wrote funny jokes and quotes on post it notes. His personal assistants sometimes brought in snacks while Y/N was still working and Harry always offered her some. They were usually healthy, but sometimes she’d eat some. Jeff, his manager, had also stopped by on occasion during his tattoo touch-ups that had become a thing after shooting days had grown longer.

On first meeting, Jeff had said, “Y/N? Harry mentioned you.”

She had turned to Harry with an arched brow and he had shrugged. When she looked back at Jeff she didn’t see Harry give Jeff one of the deadliest looks he could muster. She had grimaced and said “Well we spend enough time together for him to know my name. So thank god for that at least.”

They had all laughed and she had gotten back to work on Harry’s wrist.

Today, she needed Harry in his shorts. It was the first day of shooting where his character would be only in his boxers so she had to cover up all his visible tattoos. Olivia had told the makeup department they actually had to cover up his feet tattoos as well. She wanted him sockless in the scene and Y/N had groaned immediately when she made it to the trailer and Harry wasn’t already there.

“But please, for the sake of my job, strip, dude.” She says, arms crossed over her chest and leaning against the counter as she watched Harry set his things down. Her soft green striped cardigan is open, exposing the white tank top sitting underneath. Her bright green shorts hang loose on her, cinched at the waist and folded over once. Her white high top nike’s tap impatiently on the floor, waiting for Harry to get moving.

He nodded, truly feeling sorry for his tardiness, knowing today was a long day. He was anxious and tired. Acting was a different experience to music and he just was really trying his best.

As he began to take off his shirt, he laughed. His arms pulled the shirt over his head and when it popped out from beneath it, he repeated, “Strip, dude,” attempting to mimic her American accent.

He had practiced his American accent in front of her while running lines, but it had a 50’s drawl to it. His acting coach had been drilling him for weeks before shooting and he still liked to practice. The accent he had just down was far off from that and far off from hers too.

“Do not,” she warned.

“What?” He asks innocently and flutters his eyelashes.

She knows his game by now and she knows she should just ignore him. She knows this after fourteen days. She knows this after hours with him. She knows this, but then she’s opening her mouth and playing into his teases.

“Sorry, what’s a word you would know? Mate?” She tries for a British accent with the last word, knowing she can’t win this.

Harry snickers and scratches at his nose with his index finger before starting on taking off his pants. “You’re so Californian.”

“Thank you,” she chirps, moving to sit beside him now that he had settled.

“I like your shorts,” he muses, crossing his legs, likely a little cold.

She glances down at her cotton shorts that showed more of her thighs when she sat for a moment before returning her gaze to his left arm. The longest task of the day was this damn arm.

“Thanks,” she mumbles, “Wanted to be comfortable today. Knew it was gonna be long.”

A smile bubbles onto his face, his pink lips parting to reveal his shiny white teeth behind them. “So true.”

The music is low today. She had chosen Joni Mitchel’s Blue album for the first pick of the day. She had quickly learned Harry preferred listening to albums in order. It tended to make him less jumpy when the same artist came on multiple times like an album. So when she tried to play just an album one day, she found him more cooperative and less irritable.

After thirty minutes of work, she can’t stop noticing how shivery Harry is. It was late October in LA, so it was still warm, but admittedly the mornings could be a little chilly. His shivering was concerning for many reasons. Mainly he was messing up her work and concentration, but she also didn’t want him to get sick or something.

“Do you want me to see if they have a blanket and slippers or something? You look like you’re turning blue.”

Harry turns his attention to her. He had been reading over the script for today again. “That’d be great. I can call…” He trails off trying to think of the name of one of his assistants, but apparently he’s too scatterbrained for it. She assumed it was the hypothermia traveling to his brain already.

“Don’t worry about it, I’ll walkie someone.” She says as she grabs the walkie talkie, flicking to the personal assistants channel.

“Hey,” she chirps happily. Harry noted how she talked to other people. So sweet, yet sincere. With him, it was serious and sincere but more biting, callous at times. Less so lately, but she definitely was sharper with him. He didn’t know if it even bothered him anymore. She was engaging if nothing else.

“Is someone free to bring two blankets and men’s slippers over to Trailer 6? I’ve got a naked Jack and I don’t want him freezing before I’m done covering up his tattoos.” She takes her finger off the talking button and glances sideways at him, “Who knows, maybe that would improve his acting. Y’know on second-thought-”

“Alright, alright,” Harry tries to grab for the walkie talkie, but she turns from him holding a finger up signalling him to wait as she listens for a response.

Someone says a simple “On it” and she turns off the walkie talkie and gets back to work.

“I took my finger off the speaker before I said the thing about your acting. Relax, Harry.” She says when he’s still glaring at her. “Just love to see you squirm.”

He shakes out his short chestnut hair, some of it falling over his forehead. Instinctively, she reaches up without even looking and smooths it back. Like she was tucking her own hair out of her eyes, but instead it was Harry’s. She decided to say nothing and was relieved when Harry didn’t say anything either.

She finishes his forearm and moves to his outer upper arm. The rose holds her attention when the PA knocks on the door and she has to race to get it. Nothing could stop her from moving on this work. It was already an hour in and she wanted to scream.

She swings open the door and she wants to die. It was Autumn. Her least favorite PA, of course. She was insufferable and obsessed with Harry. Which was not why Y/N found Autumn insufferable. There were so many more reasons. So many. But that particular character flaw didn’t help her case either. Y/N tried to just take the blankets and slippers from Autumn, but the woman insisted that she come in.

“I’ve got it,” Y/N says.

“No, don’t want you to get makeup on anything,” Autumn’s saccharine voice grinds at her ears and she contemplates cutting them off.

Harry sat in his chair, legs crossed, nodding along to the music, his script discarded on the counter in front of him.

“Hi Harry!” Autumn practically yells, walking right up to him.

Y/N takes a deep breath at the door, letting it swing shut. She bites her lower lip as an attempt to bite her tongue as she walks back to her set-up. The set-up Autumn was conveniently blocking.

“Hello, Autumn,” Harry says kindly, making eye contact with her. “How’re you today?”

“So great! So great! Thanks for asking. How are you?” She points a finger at him like she might poke him and Harry squirms away from her a bit. She, of course, doesn’t notice this.

“Well, thanks.” His eyes flicker to Y/N, who is standing behind Autumn, hands on her hips and attempting not to tap her foot. His tone is clearly dismissive, but Autumn must ignore it. Y/N knows Autumn isn’t as helpless as she tries to come off.

Autumn asks, “Where do you want these?”, gesturing to the two blankets and slippers stacked on top.

“Just on the counter is fine, thanks,” Harry says.

Autumn does as he says and then stands there with baited breath. Y/N’s not sure what she’s expecting. For Harry to ask for her hand in marriage or something? But he just glances between the two women. His own foot begins wiggling in impatience.

“Busy day,” He attempts at dismissing her once again - with kindness.

“Oh my gosh, totally!” Autumn gushes, starting to go off on all of the tasks she has to do. She stands so close to Harry, Y/N genuinely thinks she’s going to sit in his lap. Y/N stares up to the ceiling, begging god or whoever to end her misery right there and then.

Harry sees Y/N’s expression and tries to maintain the neutral expression he’s had for the entirely too long interaction. A smile threatens at his rosey lips that had chapped from the morning air.

“Right, well,” he cuts off Autumn, “Y/N needs to get back to tattoo coverage, I think. So...have a nice day.”

Autumn’s eyes widen like she forgot that there was anyone else in the room and steps back from Harry. Y/N nods, a grimace clear on her face. Autumn gives her the same small she used to get from the popular girls in high school when she happened to be talking to their cool guy friend that they wanted to be more than friends with. Sickeningly sweet and completely fake. She could see the contempt in Autumn’s eyes that swirled just beneath the surface of her perfectly outlined green-ish eyes.

“Okay! You too, Harry!” She begins walking to the door and Y/N takes her seat again, closing her eyes and counting to ten. “And Y/N,” Autumn adds as an afterthought.

“Oh my fucking god,” Y/N sighs, her hands going to rub over her face and through her hair. “That was exhausting. Jesus Christ.”

“What? She’s nice. Maybe a little clueless,” Harry counters. “But she was so nice,” he confirms again, seemingly trying to convince himself of it as well.  

She grabs the slippers and slips them on the ground so Harry can put them on easily. Then one of the blankets that she drapes over Harry’s bottom half. He smiles at the gesture, a ‘thank you’ said in a whisper.

“Please, she knows what she’s doing,” Y/N scoffs, “And she’s obsessed with you!” She grabs the concealer to get back to work, “She was all over you and never took her eyes off of your body. It was like she wanted to touch you or something. It was icky.”

“You touch me,” Harry adds cheekily, adjusting beneath the warm blanket.

She laughs, a smile gracing her lips as she gives Harry a look. He was clever.

“It’s my job to touch you, Harry.”

Harry had really tried to not laugh, but it was just so funny. They both snicker, their eyes meeting for a moment longer than usual.

“Speaking of my job,” she adds after controlling her laughter, “Does she not realize just how long it takes to cover all of your bloody tattoos with this shit to make it look like you’re a pristine skinned 50’s psycho killer?”

She finishes the rose coverup and moves to the ship. Harry nods solemnly.

“It’s true...And it doesn’t help that you’re terrible at it, so it takes a thousand years longer than it should.” He adds, laughter overtaking his serious tone at the end.

“Oh my god!” She shrieks in delight, trying not to mess up her work, “That is so rude! I messed up one time - mostly because of you, by the way. And give me a break, this is so not what I thought I’d be doing as a makeup artist for movies.”

He nods again, muttering “Fair, fair.”

They grow silent, enjoying Goodbye Yellow Brick Road, the album that she had queued after Joni’s.

“The body thing, I just learned to ignore it, I think.” Harry mutters, eventually, but it’s thoughtless, like he’s not revealing anything about himself with the statement. But it kind of shocks her. Her eyes widen and she stops her work to stare at his face.

“Harry,” she waits till his eyes meet hers, “That’s, like, not normal. Are you serious?”

“I mean, I’m very comfortable with my body, like I haven’t minded the last 45 minutes of sitting practically nude in front of you. And I have plenty of revealing photos out in the world. I just don’t notice staring anymore, it’s not, I don’t think it’s what you’re thinking,” he tries to reassure her. His eyes are intent on hers, full of seriousness that hadn’t been there a few moments ago.

“It’s one thing to be comfortable in your skin and another to be desensitized to objectification,” she insists.

He nods. “I know. Thank you. I would let you know if what she had done had bothered me, so don’t worry. I felt completely safe the whole time.”

“Good,” she nods back and concentrates again. “Good,” she repeats once more under her breath. There had been way too many distractions already today and she wasn’t even done with his arm yet.

As she continues to work up his arm, Harry sings along to some of the songs on Elton’s album. He happily taps his feet to the different beats, now safely tucked in soft fluffy slippers. She would never admit just how amazing it is to be in the same room as Harry’s singing. It was truly special to be less than a foot from him and hear him sing just under the unique voice of Elton - who was someone he actually knew, which was equally as cool.

He hit every note and knew every word. She was impressed. How could she not be when a literal rockstar sat before her? This was the first time she was truly starstruck by her charge, Mr. Harry Styles.

By two hours, they had moved onto an album by Dolly Parton and they were both singing. They strangely had no fights today, maybe some snarky comments from both of them, but no outright mean-spirited words were exchanged.

She stood in front of Harry, finishing up the swallows. She had finished both arms and the birds, all she had left was moving down his body. Up next, the butterfly.

“I love this tattoo,” she mumbles, twisting Harry’s standing body to face her and taking her seat again. This left her eye to eye with the butterfly on his stomach.

He makes a surprised face and raises his recently plucked eyebrow at his counterpart. “Oh really?”

“Don’t act so surprised. I told you day one that not all of them are rubbish and honestly they’re all pretty cool. I just was so annoyed that I had gotten tattoo coverage as my job and then I had to go and index them all.” She flicks her eyes up to his sculpted face and sees he’s watching her work. “Plus, I have some butterflies of my own, remember?” She grins.

“Yeah,” he ponders her words, “I don’t think that’d put me in a good mood either.”

He pauses again and she continues to work silently.

“So what’s your excuse for the second day then?”

“You provoked me,” she doesn’t spare him a glance, shrugging like it was the simplest answer in the world.

“Pardon?”

“Let’s not go down this road again, Harry.” She sighs, smoothing over the freshly covered butterfly tattoo. His sternum looked so naked, it was unnerving. Now the ferns.

Harry involuntarily shivered when her fingers traced over the ferns lightly, taking note of the expanse of skin she’d have to cover.

“You’re right,” he agrees, “But agree to disagree on the provocation.”

“Sure,” she says curtly, focusing on his skin and her job.

The expanse of skin that the ferns inhabited was slightly fleshy and especially soft. It bordered where his boxers began and she ignored that part of his body completely. It was of no importance to her and she really had no issue blocking it from her vision, even when it was right in front of her. She finishes one fern with Harry jumping only twice from her cold hands. He couldn’t put his robe on until the makeup had all set for half an hour so he’d have to be cold for possibly another hour still.

She traces the fern that is still visible and Harry shivers. She instinctively shushes him softly and his body quiets. As she works, her hair splays around her shoulders and Harry looks down at her working and doesn’t realize what his hand is doing until it’s too late. His right hand runs over her hair, smoothing it out of her face. It was rarely ever down, so it must have been the novelty of it.

“Sorry, I-” he chokes out when he jerks his hand back.

She sits back, slightly taken aback. Her body flushes just from their positioning and what a hair caress would mean normally in this position, but she’s a professional and she shakes it off.

“It’s fine. We’re even.” She assures him, breaking eye contact with his own wide eyes. “Seems like we’re both hair touchers.”

“It’s just so soothing,” Harry muses. “I think it’s human instinct to touch other people’s hair since it’s so enjoyable for yourself.”

“Possibly,” her voice raises, his thought was definitely plausible. Or maybe they were just two touch starved people who were very much in each other’s personal space 24/7.

At the two and a half hour marker, she gets a walkie message from Olivia’s assistant asking when they’d be done. She had just finished the tiger tattoo, which had been surprisingly easy. It took a while, but Harry didn’t shiver once and neither of them pet each other’s hair.

“Probably 40 minutes, sorry. He has a lot of tattoos and the makeup needs to set.” She says seriously and gets back to work, barely regarding the response of “Yeah it’s fine, just wanted an estimate”.

“Jesus,” Harry moans as she covers up his knee tattoos.

She groans in veiled disgust, “Did I just hit a secret erogenous zone? Is that why you have ‘oui’ there, you creep?” There’s a teasing tone behind the nickname she uses.

Harry laughs and runs his hand over his face, pulling at his jaw and lower lip. His jaw is so sharp, she watches him adjust it. “No, no. I’m just so goddamn tired of this.”

“And it’s not your fault,” he adds, feeling bad immediately after he said it. “It’s actually been nice today, but I’m feeling antsy, like I need to move. I don’t like to sit still.”

“I know,” she says under her breath. She simply nods in agreement.

Finally, the tattoos are all covered up and set. They had talked about George Michael when she got to his ankle tattoos that she hadn’t seen before and they laugh about the tattoos and chat a bit more. She helps him slip on his robe that he keeps in his closet in the trailer and then follows him out of it. They had decided they were hungry and he had been pushed back an hour since he had taken so long, so he had a free half-hour.

As they walked to craft services, they talked about actual things besides work. She was pleasantly surprised by what Harry talked about. It was more than music or the movie. It was the tv show he was currently obsessed with and how he hated LA’s traffic the most out of all of his dislikes for the city. She couldn’t help but grin at his Los Angeles slander. She loved this side of him.

-

Breakfast together after finishing his tattoo coverage became their regular thing. He would come into the trailer, racing from his morning meeting accompanied with tea for two, they’d get his tattoos covered as quickly as possible, and then they’d eat together.

They’d save their “in-depth” chats for breakfast. In early November, he joked about No Nut November and insisted he really wouldn’t have a problem with it - which had made her laugh. They worried together over the U.S. presidential election and meditated together in his trailer to Fleetwood Mac.

Around late November, Harry had requested that Y/N just do his face makeup as well, just to simplify his life a little more and the department had agreed easily. She had to spend extra time on set getting lectured on how to properly do Harry’s makeup, but after two days she stopped getting notes about it. She was so extremely proud and thankful to Harry for doing that.

All he said was: “I mean, you’re extremely talented so I’m not scared of you fucking up my face. Plus, it does make my life easier. Two birds with one stone.”

In late November, he told her about his favorite holiday drinks at Starbucks and what he was getting his mother for Christmas.

When the Vogue cover came out, he laughed over that woman who responded to his cover saying the world needed to bring back manly men. He joked that he was going to really push that from now on, that he was a manly man, and he would sputter with laughter every time he tried to say it with a straight face.

He hand delivered her a special ‘Treat People With Kindness’ sweatshirt that he only had for the cast and crew of the film. Most everyone got them from a PA, but Harry decided since you saw him first in the morning, why not.

He told her about him winning Hitmaker of the Year from Variety when he had left the award sitting in Trailer 6 and about how weird it was to film acceptance speeches in an empty room. His smile had lit up the entire set that day and the day he did his interview on set. He was so smiley she had to bump him with her elbow because he wouldn’t stop smiling at her and it was unnerving.

“Stop that,” She muttered.

“Stop what?” He smiles wider.

“That!” She squeaked, her head shaking as she ducked it to regard his anchor tattoo. “You’re smiling too much.”

“Oh no,” he says sarcastically, “God forbid I be happy.”

“It’s not that,” she bumps his thigh with her elbow, trying to keep her own smile off her face, “Your face is just so intense when you smile. Feels like you’re gonna burn a hole through me.”

He laughs, completely unconvinced, “You just don’t want me to be happy is what I’m hearing.”

She rolls her eyes, “Whatever, dude.”

She saw he was serious about the ‘manly men’ references when the Variety photos came out and everyone and their mom posted the pictures with some variation of that comment as their caption.

She still found that she rolled her eyes at some of the things Harry did, but she genuinely counted him as a friend by the time December had rolled around.

Over three hours, almost always completely alone, doing work for a job you both care deeply about can really make or break a relationship. And that first full-body coverage day had made them stronger together. After that, Harry and her would banter with one another, but there was never anything intentionally cruel. Just friends giving each other shit sometimes. Harry had been right, he had changed her mind about him. And she had realized that that was who Harry was. He was a deliverer. If you didn’t like him at first, he would try and try again until you did, but he did it in a way that wasn’t weasley or anything. It was terribly genuine and she saw it in every relationship he had on set.

On several occasions she had witnessed his friendship with Nick Kroll. A man she had regarded with dislike before the film. She had quickly realized that dislike was misplaced, but she maintained that it was just because she hated adult cartoons - citing that she literally refused to be friends with any person who willingly watched the Simpsons, Family Guy, and/or American Dad and all of those similar shows.

Nick was far nicer and less weird than she had realized. So she quickly shot her friend from high school an apology text for all the Nick Kroll slander she had spouted back in the day. Her friend had rejoiced but also said how jealous she was that Y/N got to see him regularly on set.

Nick and Harry got along great. Harry generally got along better with older people, she noticed when she was introduced to his friends on the somewhat frequent occasion. Trailer 6 was where Y/N saw most of these reactions take place. She would be introduced in the first minute and then she would smile politely and get back to the work of covering up Harry’s numerous tattoos.

Harry would say something simple and Nick, the literal famous comedian, would laugh. In the beginning she’d raise a brow, confused because it truly wasn’t that funny, but as Harry’s friend now, she kept her mouth shut.

Nick would come and sit on the couch while she’d work and eventually all three of them would chat. Sometimes she would get up to go to the bathroom during those morning chats and she would look in the mirror and think to herself “How are you casually talking to these two men right now” and then she’d think “Because you are a boss ass bitch, you got this” and go back out there with a smile on her face.

“Y/N, what are you doing tonight?” Nick asked on the first Friday morning of December.

She looks up from Harry’s cross tattoo that was half covered. Harry was reading, a book casually propped in his right hand and glasses resting on the bridge of his nose. He glanced at the other two in the room. Nick had been getting some work done before he had spoken.

“No plans,” she states simply before getting back to work. It wasn’t full body today, but it was arms and torso, so kind of a lot still.

“You should come over for dinner at my place with Harry,” Nick smiles kindly. His scruff was really coming in today. “To celebrate us almost wrapping the first half of the movie.”

Harry had thankfully freshly shaved before he sat down. It was her least favorite part of her new job. Whenever he came in for touch ups and she had to shave his afternoon shadow. She was terrified she’d cut him and never live it down from her department or Harry. She had no idea which would be worse.

“My wife will be there too, of course,” he adds, hoping to entice her to say yes.

Harry glances between Y/N and Nick again before focusing on his book again.

She purses her lips, finishing Harry’s hand and moving onto the anchor tattoo. “Yeah, I mean, I don’t know why I’d say no. As long as I’m not intruding on the throuple,” she grins up at Harry.

He stares at her with his big green eyes, slightly obscured behind his prescription glasses. He raises his brows and wiggles them a little bit, teasingly.

Nick laughs and slyly winks at Harry through the mirror. Y/N none the wiser as she removes all traces of Harry’s tattoos.

“Great!” He claps his hands and stands up. “We’ll talk or I’ll make sure Harry gets you the info or something. I don’t know, but we’ll figure it out. My wife’s been wanting to meet you,” he smiles again and walks out of the trailer.

She tilts her head at the last part. He talked about her to his wife. Did he really count her as that close of a friend? She was just a makeup artist and he was a producer… She glances at Harry and he gives away nothing. His jaw looks extra prominent and she knows it’s because he’s clenching it. He did that when he was focused or angry, remembering it bulging on the first day they met and how clenched it had been then.

“Unclench your jaw,” she mutters, “It’s not good for you.”

Harry hums and unclenches it.

He stretches his neck by rolling his head around his shoulders and she glances at the movement. His skin is still beautifully sun-kissed and his pores look so soft, only his moles change the texture of his skin. She loves his moles though, they make him especially unique in her eyes. Not that he needed anything else to set him apart from the crowd. Still, she loved them. His collarbone is prominent as he sits there shirtless and she wishes she could reach out and brush at it. But she gets back to work, knowing the only time she’s gonna be brushing near that part of him is when she’s covering dates in those dips behind his collarbones.

“Y’know, I could just drive you to Nick’s tonight,” Harry says, putting his book down and taking off his glasses. He rubs at his eye with his free hand.

“You’re blind and British, how do I know you can even drive yourself?” She asks sillily, pointing to his glasses.

He shakes his head, “I’m serious, Y/N. Aren’t you staying in the same area as me?”

He asks because they had relocated to Palm Springs a little while ago and everyone had gotten rentals and it was hard to remember where everyone was holed up when they weren’t on set.

“Yeah, think so. But you don’t need to pick me up. I have a car.”

“Nonsense. I’ve been to his place before, don’t want you to have to deal with directions, that’s just silly.”

“I guess...” she resigns relatively easily. She had never hung out with Harry off the set or Nick for that matter. It felt surreal, but she knew the right answer was usually just say yes in these situations. So that’s what she says. “Yes, that’d be great, thank you,” she confirms and watches as Harry’s eyes glimmer softly before turning back to his book. A triumphant soft smirk rests on his face.

The words die out between the two of them as she works on. He hums along to the music and continues reading his book. When she’s done with his tattoo coverage and his face makeup, she sends him off to hair and the rest of his day. He gives a flirty wink as he walks out the door and she rolls her eyes in response. She tidies up her kit and then goes to do some other makeup work.

When she wasn’t working with Harry, she was assigned to some of the minor characters and doing their makeup. They were always her second concern, especially now that she did Harry’s makeup as well as his tattoos. As she works on them, she can feel her mind drifting to Harry. Harry and how they were friends now. She was pretty sure, right? They were friends. He had never really said a mean thing to her if she really thought about it. It was her… She had been rude and mean-spirited and he had just taken it. He rarely had even thrown it back at her. He was so good to her and patient and she realized that he had proven to her that he was good. He was better than good, he was kind and loving. Considerate. Wonderful. All of those positive superlatives, Harry filled them. And she had the audacity to be mean to him.

She paused the brush that was adding blush to an actresses cheek.

Lisa, the actress, looks at Y/N confusedly, “What’s wrong?”

Y/N twitches her head, refocusing on her task at hand. The realization of her pausing her work becomes clear as she looks between her hand and the cheek that has not enough blush on it. “Oh,” she breathes. “...I just realized that I was terrible to someone who doesn’t have a mean bone in their body.”

Lisa nods, “Apologize.”

“Yeah, I mean...We’ve kind of moved past the phase where we don’t get along. Like now we’re friends, but the realization just really hit me.” She sighs, picking up where she left off on Lisa’s makeup. “I’ll make sure to apologize next time I see them.”

Lisa smiles.

-

At the end of the day, Y/N realizes she left her tattoo coverage kit in Harry’s room after their touch-up session halfway through the day. She had run off to help with a makeup emergency for a tiny cut on a minor character’s face and forgotten to go back and grab her things. Another roll of her eyes and a huff of breath and then she’s walking back to Trailer 6, a place that seemed like a home away from home now. She knocks, patiently waiting at the bottom of the steps.

Harry swings open the door and props it with his hip. He’s got a toothbrush held in his mouth, slowly scrubbing back and forth with his left hand. His costume is somewhat taken off, he’s still got the pants on with suspenders hanging down, his chest was completely bare and he looked funny with some of his tattoos only being half covered based on what parts of his skin had been showing today. Her work. His skin looked half silky smooth and half tattooed like usual.

His naked skin seemingly left her breathless because as her eyes returned to Harry’s face, she breathed a soft, “Hi.”

“Hey,” a smirk twists onto his face. “Forget something?”

“Yes,” she nods, coming back to her senses and entering the trailer at Harry’s gesture.

She begins to pack up the kit that had been left haphazardly strewn around on his counter. “I’m sorry I left a mess like this, I got called over to something else and forgot.”

“Don’t worry darling,” Harry grins at his joke.

She looks up from her work and sees Harry in the reflection of the mirror. He’s wiping off the makeup from his chest and his beautiful tattoos reemerge as entire images.

She laughs humorlessly, “It gets less funny each time you use that.”

“That’s not true,” he looks at her through the mirror now, his green eyes trained on her face, “Everyone else still thinks it’s hilarious.”

“They’re humoring you and your fragile ego,” she winks and watches as Harry’s smirk twitches from his perfect face.

“You’ve got a very mean disposition, you know that?” He asks.

He finishes his chest and moves to remove the makeup from his left arm, glancing at the mirror every so often to check himself and to flicker his eyes over Y/N’s face.

She genuinely laughs at that, but scolds herself internally for being mean when she had planned to apologize the next time she saw Harry. This was the next time so why was she doing this instead?

“Rewrite sweet disposition for me?” Her voice honeyed. Clearly stubborn and terrible at saying sorry...maybe her and Harry were a better match than she realized.

Harry twists his lips as he slips on his t-shirt he was wearing today.

“Pick you up at 6:30?” He says as his head pops out from beneath the rainbow striped sweatshirt he slipped on top of the shirt. His chestnut hair had been toweled out and was flopping over his forehead slightly.

She sighs and zips close the kit, standing from the seat she had taken at his counter and turning to face him now.

“6:30 is perfect. Thanks again for doing this. I just can’t believe Nick Kroll is inviting me over for dinner!” She smiles, shifting to lean against the counter as she waits for Harry to finish up. She didn’t have to but for some reason she felt like she was in no rush.

“Are you serious?” He’s moved on to changing his pants now and he’s slipping on black sweatpants.

“Yeah…” She blinks and her eyes widen as Harry appraises her expression.

He straightens up after fixing a cuff on the pants and he can’t tell if she’s being genuine or sarcastic. It was always so hard to tell with her.

“I mean, Nick Kroll is like a huge celebrity and I know in the entertainment business you’re not supposed to get starstruck but when I was in college my sister thought he was weirdly hot and my friends and I would shit talk him. I don’t know, it’s just kind of surreal to be having dinner at his place. Like I’ve watched him on tv and now I’ll be eating with him...so weird.”

He shakes his head, beginning on his dirty vans now. A small laugh escapes his mouth and he glances between her and his shoe, scratching his head quickly. “I still can’t tell… It feels like you’re fucking with me right now.”

“I’m not!” She insists, her hands coming out in front of her in a confused fashion. “I used to watch that guy’s tv show then he’s my boss now he’s inviting me over for food? It’s a lot to process.”

“How come it’s not surreal to be having dinner with me then?” He asks semi-joking, a hint of offense tinged within it. It’s visible only in his knitted brow and twisted lip.

“Careful there, sailor. Venturing into some dangerously self-absorbed waters.” Her eyes light up, a quick raise of her brows accompany the shine, and she decides now is her time to head out. Especially as she thinks about getting ready for this soiree tonight. She needed to shower and pick out an outfit with less than two hours to prepare.

Harry sputters at her response and fumbles with his pink shoelace. “That’s not...that is - You’re being unfair. My question is valid.”

She shrugs her shoulders and skirts Harry’s attempt at grabbing at her arm to stop her from leaving. “Okay, Mr. Big Man On Campus. I promise you you’re the most popular boy in school.”

She blows him a kiss and walks out the door as he attempts to get her to come back by calling her name a few times and slightly shouting “C’mon! I wasn’t being insecure. That was a reasonable ask…”

He sighs and shakes his head again. Every interaction would end with one of them either rolling their eyes or shaking their head and usually a sigh on both of their lips. It was exhausting, but exhilarating too.

20 minutes later, Harry receives a text from Y/N: “You’re still picking me up right :))) ?”

He’s in his car, getting ready to finally leave after getting held up with last minute schedule changes that he had to be informed about by some PA that he had forgotten the name of. His lip quirks to the right and he closes his eyes for a second enjoying seeing her name on his phone screen for a moment.

He types back: “Of courseeee”.

“Fab.” She sends back, immediately followed by: “Fanks BMOC ;)”

A full smile rolls onto Harry’s face after he swipes his tongue over his lower lip. “Yeah, yeah, save it for the next guy” he types out quickly before throwing his phone gently beside him and driving back to his apartment. She made him feel young, not that he wasn’t young, but generally his friends didn’t text like she did.

-

At 6:28, she receives a text from Harry Styles - his name in her phone. A name she had never expected to see in her phone unless her Spotify was on shuffle. Yet, instead, his name popped up under messages and it read “Here!” followed by a quick “I think” and then a phone call coming through from the apparently anxious man himself.

“Hello Harry.” Her tone even. She throws little items into her purse, making sure everything she needs is there.

“Could you peek out your window? I’m not quite sure I’m at the right place and people are staring…” nerves laced in his rushed tone.

She ambles to the window and opens up the shade she had closed to change. Below her, she sees a sleek black Range Rover with a slightly disarrayed hairdo and big dark glasses peeking below the windshield. She ignored the instinct to retch at the sight of the Range Rover and peered at the lamp lit sight below her. It was definitely Harry, but she searched for the prying eyes he was worried about and saw none. Well, maybe a few, but it wasn’t a lot.

“I see you, I’ll be right out, dude. Just deep breaths, it’s mostly crew staying here right now so they’re just seeing that it’s you, another guy they work with. They won’t come up for pictures...I would hope.”

She hangs up with no farewell, snatches her purse from its place on the bed and races out the door. Harry smiles anxiously at her when she stands next to the passenger’s door and he unlocks it. She bites her lip and raises her brows, waiting to hear if anything terrible happened in the minute and a half it took her to come downstairs and out to the car.

“Hi,” he exhales.

A smirk crawls onto her features and her eyes sparkle with a bit of a childish glee that normally she didn’t exhibit as she glances at him. “Hi.” She says quietly. “Alright big boy?”

“‘M fine.” He huffs but balks at her smile that she maintains while she stares at him. “What?”

“Just happy to see you, I guess,” her smile returns after speaking and Harry glances between her face and the windshield in front of him.

He can’t tell if she’s being serious or not once again. But he fears that conversation of her either ridiculing him for thinking she is serious or being offended that he still can’t tell. Instead, he will keep his mouth shut. For the most part.

“Happy to see you, too,” his lips create a closed mouth smile quickly before turning out of the parking lot.

She watches him. Their first time together outside of work. And they were friends. She needed to get used to simply thinking that. He picked her up to take her to dinner with her other friend and his wife. This was normal life, just with big names behind those terms of relation. Jesus, she always said it didn’t bother her to be around celebrities so why did she think about it so damn much?

She twitches her head and refocuses on Harry and his driving. His jaw is clenched again and she wants to reach out and sooth it herself. Instead she starts to open her mouth to correct him, but stops herself from that as well. They weren’t at work and it didn’t feel like something just a friend would say right now. She refocuses on the view of his eyes that are barely visible while he regards the road. His large eyes that she had grown acquainted to are surveying what he’s doing, every so often drifting to the right side of the road to check out the lane beside him. But then, always back to right in front of him, leaving a crescent of green visible to her.

“Can feel you staring at me…” His voice sounds like it’s rolled around in gravel after the long work day. It makes her wonder if he’s supposed to have a vocal rest when he’s not at work, but then again it’s the weekend now so maybe it was fine. Maybe she should ask him. Or maybe she should stop worrying so much about him.

“Have I got something on my face?” His low register bumps her from her racing thoughts. He doesn’t take his eyes off the road, but she can see he’s widened his eyes in wonder.

“No! Of course not, I just was...making sure you weren’t going to crash us or something.” She grasps at straws, desperate to not be caught by Harry.

A low chuckle bubbles from his chest and he spares a small glance over at her bundled up in his passenger seat. She matches his gaze with something of distrust hidden behind her eyes. She hopes to convey that she’s being silly and when Harry turns back to look at the road unassumingly, she feels like she has won. The harmonies of the beginning of a Queen song take over the silence, Harry’s spindly fingers thrumming against the wheel.

They arrive at the Kroll’s Palm Springs residence at 6:50. 10 minutes early and the two twiddle their thumbs for a few minutes, trying to pass the time and not intrude earlier than they were supposed to. She appreciated that Harry liked to be timely but not early, similar to how she was.

“So what is the fascination with Range Rovers?” She queries, leaning against the door’s armrest. The back of her head touches against the semi-tinted window.

Harry shifts in his seat, seat belt no longer constricting him and no road requiring his attention as they sit in the driveway. He rushes a hand through his hair and lets a single strand of hair fall over his prominent forehead.

“Dunno,” he shrugs his shoulders and allows a hand to fall onto the steering wheel absentmindedly. “I don’t really prefer them anymore, but when I’m in LA and doing work, it makes things easier. My other cars are a little flashier...have more privacy in this.”

“Yet the effect is similar,” she muses.

Her head tilts to take in Harry’s appearance, sharp black silky button-up and dark green plaid slacks, and she rubs a hand over her jaw. His eyes flicker to the movement and attempt to really take it in, even in the dim glow of the lamp light outside barely peeking into the dark interior of the car.

“Effect?”

“Y’know…” She arches her brow at him. He feigns innocence or possibly the expression is genuine. She’s begun to realize Harry was as genuine as they came, but she just didn’t think he was that unaware. An assumption that was likely correct, but even Harry liked to pretend he was a completely unassuming individual.

“Forget it,” she finishes when he gives no indication that he knows what she is hinting at. She doesn’t want to get into it with him again. Especially when he plays at this game where he has no idea what she’s talking about. It made her feel like she was crazy for thinking he made these calculated decisions to get his desired outcomes.

They move on, neither of them quite sure what the other was getting at in that conversation. The two of them walk into the house a minute before their expected arrival time side by side and are greeted happily with Nick and his wife. They’re ushered in and Y/N is happily received by the happy couple.  

“So, Y/N, how’s it been for you working with these two? I know they can be more than a handful - especially together,” Nick’s wife, Lily, asks after a sip of wine.

The group of four had been eating for a while with Nick and Harry bantering for quite a bit at the beginning about whether or not Harry would be willing to hand feed Nick. The answer was settled at “another time”.  

Harry seems to have a very specific habit of watching whoever is speaking - no matter what. So after Lily has finished speaking, his gaze flickers to Y/N, the person his brain expects to speak next. He watches her attentively as she wipes her mouth on her napkin before speaking.

Her hair was styled differently tonight than it usually was on set, she had it down rather than up in a ponytail or braids. He hadn’t had time to really look at her when they had been in the car, his mind occupied with stress and exhaustion that he refocused into driving and deep breathing. Now, in the comfort of a trusted friend’s home, he was far more relaxed and able to truly take in her appearance, which he couldn’t help but think was beautiful. He’d have to tell her that at some point. That he thought she was beautiful. Not that he didn’t see her on set and think she was beautiful...he just hadn’t really thought about it before. She was his wily makeup artist who was critical of him most times, but occasionally sweet, who had an amazing taste in music and good aesthetic style. The beauty part of it all, he guessed wasn’t something integral to their relationship before.

But now he was sitting beside her at the Kroll’s nice dining table and she had her hair splayed in front and behind her shoulders with one side tucked behind her ear and her outfit fit her impeccably. The top she had on had capped sleeves that cinched with buttons at her delicate wrists and a severe drop to create a small sweetheart neckline just above the curve of her breasts. It was silky and shiny, a blush pink that complemented the high waisted dark grey slacks that flared over shiny black boots that he wasn’t sure where they ended beneath the pants.

“Well,” she starts, chuckling under her breath when she meets Harry’s stare, “Harry and I spend a lot of time together, covering up all his tattoos, and he yaps a lot. So, it’s actually pretty refreshing when Nick comes in, because Harry’s then talking half the normal amount.”

He huffs a scoff, while Lily and Nick laugh happily. Nick interjects an “ouch” for the bite she just took out of Harry, but she thought it was fine, he can take it.

Harry thought to himself that if she can serve it, then she can definitely take it. His eyes remain on her as he opens his mouth to speak, but then look at Lily when words actually come out. “Well, Y/N, she thinks she can read people really well, but it’s actually quite the opposite. She had me completely wrong when we first met, so I talk now in hopes that she’ll really understand me.”

His head tilts to her when he mentions her name, but otherwise doesn’t glance her way away again. He scrunches his nose at the end of his comment, implying he converses with her out of pity.

It’s her turn to scoff and stare at him unamused. Nick and Lily share a look, unsure of what was going on, they had concocted this dinner date idea in hopes to set the two up but the way this conversation was going, they seemed to be pushing each other further and further away from one another.

“That’s simply not true,” she says curtly and takes a sip of her quickly emptying wine glass.

“Which part?”

“Almost all of it, I’d say,” her eyes glaring back at him, fiery with a disdain he hadn’t seen in awhile. “You’re proving my original perception of you with every passing second,” she adds.

“Care to elaborate exactly what the original perception of me was for the class,” his eyes are wide and wild, any extra adoration he had started to feel towards her slipping away just as quickly as it had come, like a wave along the beach.

“You know, so why don’t you?”

“I want to hear you say it,” he grits out the command.

She shifts in her seat, glancing at Nick and Lily who are watching on and she has a feeling she won’t be getting an invitation again anytime soon. Lily gives her a semi-reassuring smile like she was sorry to have asked the question at all, but Y/N knows this is kind of her fault, not that she would ever admit that. Her comment could have been taken innocuously, but Harry’s pride wouldn’t let it slide. Like she said, she should have known better, the weeks of friendship were flying out the window and she was helping them along.

“And what if I don’t?”

“Have fun calling an uber at this time of night,” he shrugs, malice dripping in his tone.

She truly was taken aback at this. A slight sound of shock leaving her mouth. Harry was many things, impatient and anxious usually, but downright cruel with her, she had yet to see it. Arrogant and pompous, definitely, but this wickedness that was starting to creep from the shadows worried her. But the little fiery demon within her wasn’t going anywhere either - yet she might back down to save herself some money and hassle.

“Fine,” she raises her brows in a challenge to him and restates her original take on him - possibly adding a bit extra malice in her phrasing, “You are a shell of a man, held up by the people around you, creating the illusion of a completely genuine and down to earth rocker who dabbles in acting, philanthropy and all around goodness. No one’s ever had a bad experience because no one’s ever truly met you. Not the real you.” She takes a deep breath as she shakes her head in disbelief now, a sarcastic laugh leaving her mouth, “And I thought, I really thought, that I had been wrong. Because these past months you really fooled me with your sweet smile and deep eyes. But when it comes down to it, you tricked me just like everyone else.”

Harry stares at her blankly and she shakes her head once more, feeling foolish. For thinking Harry was someone he wasn’t. For thinking the past few months had been real. For thinking that tonight would go off without a hitch. And the shit part of it was that she had really hoped that all of it was true. She wanted this to be her life, but her instincts had been right. Beware of the picture perfect because it always is just a mirage of deceit and lies.

“All I’ve got to say is you’re a damn good actor Harry, so at least you’ve got that going for you.” Then she pushes back from the table and stands, turning to Nick and Lily. “I really am so sorry, I understand that you probably want me to leave, so I’ll just be going,” her voice faltering at the end, she wasn’t as strong as she liked to pretend and she was pretty sure she just ruined her chances of working again in Hollywood. You’d have to be an idiot to be an enemy of Harry Styles and she feels like she just became his first.

“No!” Nick says quickly, standing too, “I think things just escalated really quickly and some things were said that both of you didn’t mean. Um...just, let’s take a few minutes to cool off. Harry could you and Lily deal with the dishes and I’m going to talk with Y/N alone.”

Everyone nods and Y/N follows Nick down a hallway, a little confused but following after he beckons her with his hand. They go out a side door and end up on a porch in the backyard. He stoops down and opens a little sitting mailbox she didn’t see and pulls out a pack of cigarettes and a lighter. He places one between his teeth and then offers one to her. She accepts, not usually a regular smoker, but right now seemed like a fair time to indulge in the bad habit. She needed to calm her rapidly beating heart.

He lights the cigarette for her when he sees her shaking hands and then in turn lights his own. They stand on the porch beside each other and stare out into the dark night sky.

“Well, this wasn’t how tonight was supposed to go,” Nick starts, after a few exhales of smoke.

“No,” she laughs nervously, her foot toeing at the wooden slate on the porch. “I shouldn’t have tried to make a joke.”

“No one’s to blame,” Nick says quickly, glancing at her, “You and Harry...you both have really strong personalities and I don’t think either of you are used to being challenged.”

She nods along, she definitely had to agree after the argument they had both willingly gotten into in front of other people.

“I think that can be a really good thing, challenging each other, because then you two can both grow. But what happened in there was more of a battle to the death rather than a friendly spar.”

“Yeah,” she exhales, flicking at the burning cigarette between her fingers, “I don’t know why he gets under my skin sometimes in a way I’ve never dealt with and it’s kind of uncomfortable so I lash out, I guess.”

Nick stays quiet, taking a drag of his cigarette.

“Ugh,” she groans, “I wish I hadn’t done that. We were doing so well, it’s like I don’t even really know what I’m saying, it’s like I can’t handle a friendly spar, I always end up going in for the kill - as you put it.”

She rubs at her face with her free hand and then takes a drag herself. Nick bites at his lower lip, trying to think of a solution.

“Y’know? Lily and I had concocted this plan to try and set you and Harry up tonight,” he says slowly, revealing the plan that had clearly been taken off the table as they just needed to attempt to salvage cordiality.

“Really?!” She’s in complete disbelief and slight dismay that the plan was seemingly ruined.

“Well,” he sputters, “When the two of you aren’t throwing verbal fireballs at each other, you’re actually quite sweet to one another. Those fond little glances you hope no one sees, well he does that too, and you both fail miserably because I see it all the time. I’m sure plenty of people do too.”

“Oh,” she states, visibly deflating. She looks to the ashtray conveniently on a table behind her and presses out the rest of the cigarette. “Should probably talk to him, huh?”

Nick nods, stamping out his nub of a cigarette as well. They go back inside and into the kitchen where Lily and Harry have plated dessert. Harry looks a little sheepish, likely having a similar conversation with Lily and she wouldn’t be surprised if her expression looks similar, if not a bit more flushed from the outdoor chill.

Lily murmurs that she and Nick are going to eat their dessert in the living room, a fair bit away from the kitchen and the two now deflated counterparts nod and then stare at each other, knowing what they need to do.

“Can we talk?” Harry rasps out, his voice even lower as he speaks softly, a mere foot away from her in the kitchen.

She nods, but moves further from him to lean against the counter and tuck her hands behind her. She’s lost her appetite and doesn’t want Harry to see her shaking digits.

He’s ducked his head and a stray curl falls over his forehead, laying there softly. He doesn’t move to fix it, just stares at his feet until she begins to talk. He can’t not look at her face when she speaks.

“So…” She slowly starts, not enjoying the tension in the room. Her eyes can’t meet his though, his stare dark and unnerving like usual, but almost painfully so now. “I can start.” She kicks at the tiling on the floor like she had done outside as well, trying to not think about the eyes trained on her right now. “I’m sorry I lashed out on you, Harry. I didn’t mean what I said, it was just a heat of the moment response.”

“I’m sorry, too,” Harry says immediately once she finishes speaking, “I shouldn’t have gotten upset over a silly joke and brought up a sensitive subject. Then it escalated…”

“Yeah, I really liked the friendship we’ve garnered these past few months and I just can’t believe I almost ruined everything - including my career…” she squeaks at the end and tears start to roll from her eyes. “Oh god,” she is hit with the gravity of all that she almost ruined as Harry stares at her again. “I’m so sorry, Harry, I really am. Do you forgive me? I don’t think I could stand it if you didn’t.”

She stands there and feels sobs wrack through her and her hands go to cover her face out of embarrassment. She had caused a scene and now she was making another one. In front of Harry.

In an instant his arms are wrapped around her frame and he’s hushing her cries. They had never hugged before, but now seemed like as good a time as ever. His arms were strong around her and she pressed her face into his chest, not caring at all about how she looked or whether this was worse than getting in a fight and running off.

“Of course I forgive you,” he says and then begins repeating her name over and over, trying to soothe her. He definitely had been hurt by her words, but it seemed like she was more upset about the whole situation than he was and he didn’t think bringing up what specifically had hurt him would help her frame of mind.

She settles after some time, her whimpers and tears subsiding after being rocked into a more peaceful mindset with the help of Harry’s calming voice and reassuring embrace.

“I really am sorry,” she whispers again.

Harry pulls his neck back and his head off the top of her head to look at her face. It was tear stained and her eyes were glassy, lips slightly puffy. He gave her a soft tight-lipped smile. “No more apologies,” he states sternly and then softens again at the slight quiver in her lip. He pulls from her a little more, leaving her at arm's length, with his hands still attached to her hips, fingers slipping over the plaid fabric. “I meant to tell you this earlier, before things…” he stares at her face again and she holds it this time, “You look beautiful tonight.”

She scoffs and her eyes immediately drop to her feet, “Definitely not anymore.” She doesn’t believe Harry.

“‘M serious,” he insists. His right index finger goes to rest beneath her chin and brings her face up to look back at him.

“Sure,” she says, still not convinced but not sure how else to respond. She feels herself warming at all the positive attention he’s pouring into her.

His gaze won’t falter from her face, he’s intent upon making her understand him. He whispers her name, “Accept the compliment.”

“You’re stubborn,” she notes.

“So are you,” he counters quickly.  

“Fine, thank you,” she sighs when he won’t stop giving her that look of his. That look that makes her want to melt into the ground because it feels like she’s the only person in the world. “Though you looked especially good tonight, too,” she adds, her hands rubbing over his shoulders softly.

“Thank you,” Harry states lowly, the words only traveling to her ears. His hands fiddle with the sides of her top, thinking about the night and where they were now. Her eyes were red from crying and overall she looked tired beyond her years. “Do you want me to take you home?”

“That’d be nice.”

They make a quiet farewell to Nick and Lily, as well as apologies from both her and Harry. They don’t speak in the car and the music plays loud enough for it to not seem unreasonable for them to be silent. Harry’s hands don’t tap against the steering wheel, they sit in their spots stoically doing their job and nothing more. She watches the window, legs crossed and hands clasped in her lap. She’s thankful for the music because she knows that even though they had talked, it wasn’t enough. What she had said was hurtful and one apology wasn’t enough for how she had behaved. She didn’t think her and Harry would be the same after tonight, but the silence made it possible for her to pretend none of it had happened.

Just as Harry’s car is pulling up the apartment complex that is far darker now, the harsh splatter of rain begins to fall on the pavement and the sleek black car the two are still sat in.

“Oh,” she comments offhandedly, just responding to what she had noticed.

The rain grows louder when Harry parks and then turns off the car. He glances at her for the first time since they got into the car. She registers the look out of the corner of her eye, her face still looking out at the rain. She loved the rain, but there wasn’t always a lot in Southern California, especially not in Palm Springs. It seemed that tonight was different.

“Well,” Harry breaks his silence, she thinks that’s her cue to leave and unbuckles her seatbelt, but he continues. “This certainly wasn’t how I expected this night to go.”

She stops moving, her hand hovering over the handle of the door. She sits back and settles into the seat, feeling her teeth bite into the plush of her bottom lip.

“That’s what people keep saying,” her eyes remain on the rain hitting the front of the car, the splatters of seemingly black liquid that form when the clear rain touches the onyx hood of the car.

“Huh?” Harry grows perplexed at the rather wistful tone of her and how she won’t look at him again. He was still hurt, but he had hoped them talking in the kitchen had straightened some things out. During the car ride he hadn’t wanted to talk, but it didn’t mean he was still angry with her. Just confused, and growing further confused by the second.

“Oh,” she repeats, “Didn’t Lily say? Her and Nick concocted that dinner in hopes to set us up.”

Harry hums, knowing that because Nick had left out a little part of that plan. That he had been a part of it. He had been talking with Nick about getting to know her better outside of work and how Nick had thought it’d be a good idea to have dinner so he had told Lily and they set it up like a casual dinner party. Harry didn’t know how to respond because her knowing that he was in on the plan might just make matters worse. He really didn’t think things could get much worse, but it seemed that they always managed to make it happen so in the end he decided to keep his mouth shut.

“I don’t know if we’d ever be able to work out differences out for that,” she decides to continue, when Harry stays quiet. She scans the interior of the car and watches Harry for the briefest moment before going back to looking out the window. “Nick said that we challenge each other to grow, but all I see us do is hurt each other.”

Her voice is just above the rain pattering outside the car and Harry thinks it sounds almost melodic if it weren’t for the sadness laced in every word.

“I disagree,” he states before wetting his lips.

“Of course you do,” she laughs in spite of herself.

“Even after all these months together and you still don’t get it. I like you.”

“You don’t like me, I don’t know how you could ever like me,” she shakes her head. “We just...we get under each other’s skin. You can make me so angry sometimes and I know I make you angry too. And when we’re not angry, we’re focussed on something that doesn’t have to do with ourselves.”

“I don’t think what you feel for me is anger,” Harry insists, “Just because something feels burning and fiery, frustrating even, doesn’t mean it’s anger.”

His body shifts closer to the center divide and she turns to face him finally. His eyes are extra dark in this lighting, which is barely there from a streetlamp a ways off. She longs for the comfort of his light green eyes, the soft pale glow of the moss that seems to have been trapped within his iris. Maybe for that reason she unknowingly leans closer to him.

“Then what is it?” She whispers, eyes blinking slowly as her breathing grows strained.

“Passion.”

Immediately, her head is tilting to meet his lips. Her mind knows one thing, she needs to be kissing Harry right now. And then she is. His left hand goes to cup her cheek as his lips attach themselves to hers. His soft lips press to hers in a long searing kiss. They stay there for a moment, pressing all of that passion and frustration into the kiss.

She presses impatiently forward, her lips starting to move more, wanting to kiss him deeper. Harry obliges, parting his lips and kissing her more vigorously. He licks into her open mouth and smiles at the sound she makes in appreciation for his actions.

She’s shifted to have herself kneeling on the leather seat and she’s leaning over the console. One of her hands finds purchase on Harry’s thigh and grasps tightly, her other at the back of his neck, pressing him closer if it were possible.

His chest is pressing against hers as he pulls her closer. He kisses her and his fingertips rub softly at the apple of her cheek. Eventually they run behind the shell of her ear and trail down her neck.

Eventually, she pulls away and stares at Harry. She watches as his eyes flutter open gently. His soft eyelashes dust his cheeks before moving away, allowing his eyes to peer at her in the dark.

Her breathing feels a little irregular after the kissing and she’s sure she is heaving her chest slightly, likely mirroring Harry’s chest as well.

“So, where to now?” She inquires, lips quirked up at her suggestion.

Harry giggles and scratches his nose against his index finger.

-

Harry doesn’t stay the night, he walks her up to her apartment door though. He kisses her chastley in front of her door and wraps an arm around her waist as he does so. He bids her a goodnight and a promise of seeing her soon.

They don’t see each other for a month. Both of them had been so blissful after the endorphins of kissing their person that they had forgotten that filming had wrapped. They weren’t set to work for a month. Harry texted her the next morning informing her that he’d be in England until filming resumed. She was still going to be in California, filming was moving back to Los Angeles, so she’d be back in her place there. Her family knew she was working, so they had sent her presents ahead to her place instead. Angie, her only true friend in the area, was spending her time with her actual family and Y/N didn’t want to intrude.

So the holidays were going to be spent alone. Those four weeks alone passed surprisingly quickly. She practiced techniques on herself, bought a tiny Christmas tree like the one in A Charlie Brown Christmas, watched A Charlie Brown Christmas and just about every other holiday movie possible. She fell in love with young Hugh Grant and Colin Firth for the thousandth time. She sang carols to herself and decorated her place with decorations from Target. She jammed out to the new Miley Cyrus album and held dance parties for herself in the house. She baked cookies and even attempted a trifle after watching a Great British Bake Off episode. She did and she did all in hopes that her mind wouldn’t wander to the guy who hadn’t called.

Harry texted occasionally, but it was infrequent at best. He was a busy person, she knew that. She knew who he was. And she didn’t want her mind to have enough time to feel sorry for herself. For her to think that she was just somebody to pass the time with while at work, because if she stopped doing things that’s where her mind would wander. Why did her mind spiral like it did? She had no idea, she’d always been like that.

His absence, their separation, made her question if her own feelings were even true. She wondered if when she saw him he would act as if nothing had happened. As if he hadn’t said their relationship was passionate and she had kissed him until she couldn’t breath.

Too much time alone, she needed some fresh air. On January 2nd, after an uneventful night at home and a lackluster countdown washed down with cheap champagne, she decided to go and walk around near her place. There was a coffee shop that wasn’t extremely expensive that she also liked that she figured she would get coffee from. After a brisk walk, she walked through the store's doors and ordered an iced green tea. As she waited, she watched the other customers around her, wishing to see a friendly face, someone she knew. And seconds later, she was met with half of that wish. Someone she knew, not necessarily a friendly face.

“Autumn.” She states with a grimace when someone taps her on the shoulder and she spins around.

“Y/N? It is you!” Autumn, one of the PA’s from Don’t Worry Darling who was especially in Harry’s business, exclaims overly happy as per usual.

Y/N bites the inside of her cheek and gives a tight lipped smile, trying her best to be cordial.

“How’s your holiday been!” Autumn asks.

“Great. You?”

“So great!” She’s quick to lean closer and say in a hushed tone, “But I miss working on set, especially getting to see that Harry everyday. He’s just so gorgeous.”

A breath gets stuck in Y/N’s chest at the mention of Harry’s name. Her brows can’t help but raise a bit at Autumn’s comment. Even lowering her voice didn’t make it feel alright to talk about Harry like this. He was her friend after all.

“Sure.” Y/N nods abruptly, realizing Autumn wants some recognition of what she’s just said. Y/N’s eyes glance around the room, hoping for an out like her drink is ready or something - no such luck.

“I mean,” Autumn keeps talking, of course, “You’re so lucky. You get to see him shirtless, like what? Everyday practically? Don’t tell me you don’t miss that just a little bit!”

“I miss working,” Y/N says, avoiding what Autumn is trying to get her to say. “And Harry’s my friend, could you maybe not talk about him like that with me?”

Autumn’s eyes widened in shock, her lips parted dumbfounded by her co-worker's response. Y/N’s name is called for her drink and she’s thankful for the serendipitous nature of that sound getting her out of the awkward situation she had just been in.

When she gets back to her apartment, she surprisingly has a text from Harry himself. She’s always telling everyone; speak of the devil and he will appear, in one way or another. It’s a Happy New Year well wish followed by a separate text asking how she was.

It was sent a minute ago so she decides to try and give him a call. She preferred talking on the phone over texting.

It rings a few times and then, again surprisingly, he picks up.  

“‘Lo?” His voice is nice and deep and sounding extra British after his weeks surrounded by family and such.

“Harry,” she sighs contentedly.

“Happy to hear your voice,” he says her name and she can tell he’s smiling just like she is, from ear to ear.

She bites at her lip, hearing him say her name.

“I’m well, thanks,” she says after a moment of happy silence.

“What?” Harry laughs, confused.

“You texted asking me how I was and I called to respond.”

“Got it,” Harry chuckles, and she hears him shuffling around, likely sitting down on something.

“How are you?” She continues.

“Good, starting to wind down for the day,” he lists off the things he’s been doing over the past few days. Some of it work related, some of it family activities. All of it fun, he insists. “What did you do today?” He finishes, knowing she was an avid activity doer based off of the snaps she had sent him over the past few weeks.

“Tidied my place, went to the coffee shop and got iced tea…” she tries to think and then she gasps, “Oh! And I saw Autumn, one of the Don’t Worry Darling PA’s -”

“The one who’s obsessed with me?”

“Exactly!” She laughs, “And I may have kind of told her off… accidentally.”

“Accidentally told her off?” Harry repeats, incredulous. “How’d you do that?”

“Well,” she doesn’t want to tell him the rest, but there’s also a tiny part of her that really does, “She was gushing about you, which, ew. And then she asked if I missed seeing you shirtless everyday.”

“Well do you miss seeing me shirtless?” Harry smirks.

“Oh shut up!” She’s quick to reply.

“So you do?”

“If I really wanted to see you shirtless, all I’d have to do is type in “Harry Styles sh” and it would come up,” she rolls her eyes even though she knows he can’t see them. “Wouldn’t even need the whole word. Guaranteed.”

“Uh-huh?” Harry questions still, “If you want me to send you shirtless pictures that the rest of the world hasn’t seen, Y/N, all you have to do is ask.”

“I do not want you to send me shirtless pictures of yourself!” She exclaims. She feels like jumping out of a window right now. This conversation had escalated so quickly and she felt herself flushing, maybe even perspiring a little bit. And she also knew that she also would probably like it if he sent her shirtless pictures, which made this whole thing worse.

“Offer stands,” he says, smug as he normally was, happy he got to banter with her again. It had been dull without her, if he was honest with himself. “If you ever find yourself in need, just send a cheeky text and I’ll whip one out for you, no matter where I am or what I’m doing.”

“See this sounds like you’re saying something sincere, but really you’re just telling me you’ll send me nudes at any time.”

“No one said anything about nudes!”

“Shirtless, nude, sounds like you’re getting too caught up in the details, hon.”

“No!” He protests, “You’re the one who’s supposed to be flustered right now, not me!”

“Aww, you’re flustered,” She coos.

Harry groans. “Whatever. I’ll be back on the 8th, be ready to go out on the 9th. I’m taking you on a proper date.”

“How do you know I’m going to say yes?” She bite her lip again, she’s really sweating now. She couldn’t believe he had just asked her out on a date out of nowhere. Out of them just joking about nudes. Maybe she didn’t know Harry as well as she thought.

“Because you called me,” he says confidently.

“I call everyone.”

“But I don’t offer shirtless pictures to everyone.”

“That has nothing to do with me saying yes to this date.”

“Or does it?”

She laughs at his words, at how his voice still manages to convey every facial expression and quirk of his lips. She knows there’s a smile on his lips as he stares in the distance, imagining her face just as she is his.

“Yes.” She smiles.

“Yes!” He repeats happily.

She hears him stand up and spin around possibly and she chuckles slightly, amused at the silly man across the world who had seemed to have stolen her heart.

“See you soon, Harry.”

“Not soon enough.”

-

On the Saturday of their date, Harry insists on picking her up. He meets her at her door and winks at her after pulling away from their short hug. He laces his hand in hers and she follows behind him as he all but drags her to his car that is downstairs. He seems giddy. His hair has grown out in the month he’s been gone and she knows they’ll cut it when filming resumes. He’s wearing Gucci flared blue jeans - she knows from the big logo on the bottom left pant leg - a ‘Waiting for Sunset’ graphic tee beneath a black cardigan with little animals and items knitted in it. And of course, his dirty ass vans. She had hoped that maybe Christmas would bring him a fresh pair from someone, but it seemed there was no such luck.

Either way, he looked good and upon scanning his outfit, she was pleased that she had dressed correctly for the occasion, knowing one of the sins of Los Angeles was being improperly dressed wherever you might go. Harry had said casual, but casual can always mean so many different things. She got it right with light wash high-waisted levi’s, a brown cream rib-knit long sleeve that buttoned like it could be a cardigan, and some fun chunky boots that added some height to her normal stature. She had contemplated between this and possibly twenty other tops and a few other bottoms. Landing on this felt right, plus it didn’t clash with Harry, the color of her shoes actually matched the color of the snake on the cardigan.

They both compliment each other on the way out to his car and she giggles when he stops and twirls her around. He says he didn’t get a “proper look” before for him to compliment her adequately. After the twirl, he nods and starts them off again, complimenting the specific pieces of her clothes and says she looks beautiful again. His giddiness was contagious.

“No Range tonight,” she muses when Harry stops them in front of a Mercedes-Benz cream convertible, top up.

“Not working,” he replies, unlocking the car with the key into the passenger’s side door handle.

She smiles and slides into the car and watches him jog around to his side and unlock it as well.

“Tonight is going to be fantastic,” he says, leaning over the console and kissing her cheek, just beside her lips.

And when he pulls away with that smug smile of his, she knows he kissed her there on purpose. But the little tease only makes her smile more. He was good at this. And he was right.

The night was fantastic. As was every night after. And she learned that Harry was so much more than anything she ever thought. She counted herself lucky to be loved by a man like him.

#harry styles fluff #harry styles angst #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles fan fic #harry styles fan fiction #harry styles fanfic #harry styles one shot #harry styles oneshot #harry styles x y/n #harry styles x you #harry styles x reader #enemies to lovers #dwd!harry #idk I always feel like theres more I need to put in here but idk #pls leave feedback and reblog

[jesuisgourde]

gay/queer references in Peter’s journals

Again, I have probably missed stuff due to going through pretty quickly and also due to having stared at this document for so long, everything has kind of blurred together.

Sometime close to the day that Carlos & I watched 'Love And Death on Long Island' (and afterwards paraded through the tea rooms of Picadilly) we both filled in application forms and were tres excited to be invited to the same group 'interview' - twas more like an audition though. I got the part. Carlos never. This did not bring any animosity - we both know that success for either of us is magnified a million times if it is shared by us both.

from 'A Diamond Guitar' by Truman Capote "Except that they did not combine their bodies or think to do so, though such things were not unknown at the (Prison), they were as lovers. Of the seasons, spring is the most shattering: stalks thrusting through the earth's winter-stiffened crust, young leaves cracking out on old left-to-die branches, the falling asleep wind cruising through all the newborn green. And with Mr Schaeffer it was the same, a breaking up, a flexing of muscles that had hardened. It was late January. The friends were sitting on the steps of the sheep house, each with a cigarette in his hand. A moon thin and yellow as a piece of lemon rind curved above them, and under its light, threads of ground frost glistened like silver snail trails. Tico Feo had been drawn into himself - silent as a robber waiting in the shadows."

Then a meet with Bounds Green's African prince outside whitechapel tube, rugged lookies at I in military attire & to a ruptured Albion rooms tidied in hours and now lids drawn heated on the eyes. A young looking fella has a crush on me.

Jackie/Camillia/Marie/Kate/Chris/V. churchill Jackie/Evelina/Jasmine/Sachi/Dalston/Sussie Sandra/Carlene/FP/Jay/Dalston/Kraut

There sat a young black man, perhaps in his early or middle twenties. He looked for all the world like the archetypal rude boy. Clean, cheap reebok, nike, adidas variously rolled, laced & zipped about his lean, spreadeagled body that hung loosely about the waiting room chair. Gold & tattoos adorned his person, and a blank animal look was attached to his clear face. He sat before me in a row of four empty chairs, staring at polished floor or the mundane television. A balding white man minced in & all perceptions were suddenly proven to be false as they embraced and snuggled up to each other, giggling & whispering & touching each others noses.... very much in love, fingers crossed for the blood tests.

[Image: an article from Gay Times of an interview with Peter. For some reason, the portrait included alongside the article is of Carl wearing a grey and black t-shirt.] Name? Peter Doherty Age? 22 Where are you? I'm on the motorway just north of Southampton. What kind of day are you having? (Vaguely) Erm... quite misty. Something's waiting around the corner, but there are no corners on the motorway, so we'll just have to wait and see what lies ahead. Maybe something will happen tonight.... What's this we hear about you once being a rent boy? Well, when times are hard, duty calls. How long ago was it? When I was 19, about three years ago. How do we know this isn't just a Shaun Ryder-type lie? 'Cause if it was, it would make me a complete scumbag and I'm not, and I'm not interested in that kind of pantomime. It wasn't a very happy time. I didn't really enjoy it. Why did you give it up? (grimly) Well, certain people disappeared... and anyway, ultimately I found myself no longer in such a vulnerable position anymore. Dawn broke, and I realised that it was a beautiful world after all. Have you done any other dodgy jobs? All of us in the band have tried to deal, but it's not good if you like the drugs too much. You just end up using them yourself! I once was a gravedigger. I used to do it with my mate in Willesden Green cemetery. We didn't actually do the digging, a machine did that, but we used to have to fill them in. It was pretty grim work. So are you gay then? Love is love, wherever it comes from. I'm not anything, really. I am a very sexual person but... I dunno, I believe in liberty... The Marquis de Sade has a lot to answer for... Do you get a lot of gay fans? Yeah - well, there's one guy in particular. He's very shy and he follows us around. He brings in letters and cards and stuff, but he's very quiet. I think John (the bassist) is the main pulling power in the band. Are you jealous about that? Nah! I've known him too long.

You know I'm alright i dont even care i like it when they stare & stare call me queer, dear oh dear a million things & what I wear He's real hard when he's with his mates but I'll saw him again & he was too late

Dear NME I'd have thought after the Gay Times piece, the interview with Rapture fanzine & our recent gig at the Slum Club everything would be clear. No it still remains to give a big hearty fuck off to all these twisted suburban types calling me a liar. Vulnerable young men & women all over the world find themselves victims of circumstance.

she was dressed in suit & tie & lightly etched-on moustache. 'I've always wanted to kiss a bird in the back of a taxi.' she says, running her hand up the fishnet ladders of my thigh. Stepping onto the front line in Bow puddles, elevators, buzzing doors,

[Image: the original page in the book has been preserved. Two paragraphs have been boxed off with biro. They read:] “...cast Richard Burton and Rex Harrison as bickering queer barbers and then much more uncompromisingly in William Friedkin's adaptation of The Boys in the Band (1970), which introduced some of the plainer four letter words in the English language to the screen for the first time. 'Who,' asks Cliff Gorman, in his brilliant portrayal of the most effeminate of the homosexual group as they gather for a soul-searching party, 'Who do you have to fuck to get a drink around here?' Other homosexual manifestations to occur in movies around this time included an elliptical but unmistakeable male fellatio scene in John Schlesinger's Midnight Cowboy (1969) when Jon Voight, as a broke and disillusioned Texas stud importunes in a New York cinema....”

[Image, top left: a blurry photo of John onstage, playing bass. Image, top right, sideways: a photo of the band onstage. Carl and John are on the left, sharing a mic. Peter is on the right, playing guitar and singing into his own mic. Image, centre left: a torn photo of Peter sitting in a chair, shirtless, playing guitar. Only his bottom half from the chest down is visible. Image, centre left: a torn photo of Peter sitting in a chair, shirtless, playing guitar. Only his top half from shoulders up is visible. Image, bottom left: a torn fragment of a photo. What looks like a denim-clad knee and a yellow carrier bag are visible. Image, bottom middle: a photo of someone's knee in torn jeans, taken from under a table. Image, bottom right: a torn photo of Carl in a black sleeveless shirt, posing with his fingers in his mouth.] [A paragraph from the original page of the book has been left exposed and boxed off with black biro. It reads:] “The Boys in the Band was displaced by an immeasurably more powerful portrayal of homosexual groups, Fortune and Men's Eyes (1971). Set in a Quebec prison, this disturbing, factually based drama vividly recounted the corrupted of a heterosexual convict trapped in a tough, potentially vicious homosexual society. In one horrifying scene, a weak, put-upon prisoner is gang-banged by his fellow inmates; in another, the 'hero' is blackmailed by his cellmate into accepting him as his lover for the duration...”

Like a cat on a hot tin roof Like a macho man in a roomful of poofs I have tried in my way to be free.

[Written in Peter's handwriting] Jerome... is that how it's spelt? [Written in someone else's handwriting] Yes it is [Written in Peter's handwriting] Can I read you something? [Written in someone else's handwriting] Yes please.....

I insist, new book of Albion, befuddled by drugs I may yes about 2 but I do not miss out entirely on the subtleties of the inhuman relation ships that are this the mainstay of my stay here in one bounce of a loaf. Boys are fooled into fooling with boys. [...]

More general references/some extra explanations:

“The boy looked at Johnny” is a line from Patti Smith's song “Horses,” part one of a three-part song called “Land.” In the song, a young man named Johnny is assaulted by another man in a locker room; he then mentally journeys to other fantastical lands and visions. A lot of people interpret it as being about gay sex, although some people interpret it as being about a stabbing.

Peter quotes and references Jean Genet's writing and works about Jean Genet many times. While Genet's works are nearly all about crime and prison (one of Peter's main interests and points of fascination), all of his works are very explicitly gay. The Thief's Journal is more about Genet's various lovers than it is about his criminal history. Our Lady Of The Flowers is about a drag queen and her criminal lovers, and is also extremely erotic.

(“Jerome” is Jerome Alexandre, vocalist of The Deadcuts, who was friends with Peter and Mark Keds.)

#squash transcribes books of albion #peter doherty #feel free to request compilations of other kinds too

[nahimjustfeelingit-writes]

Imagine:

Erik dealing with his sixteen year old daughter.

Warnings: Angst

Okay so this was intended to be two parts but the way this is written I will do one more part to wrap it up.

“What should we do? Should we go to this party of Donte’s or should we stay in and have a sleepover?”

Trinny brought her shades above her head, turning over on her pool lounge chair to look at Kayla. Kayla was currently watching the clouds float by within the crisp blue sky while the sun beat down on her peanut butter skin. 

“I don’t know, Trinny...with what’s going on in my house my mom would kill me if she found out I went to Donte’s for a party.”

“Why don’t you ask your dad, Mr. Erik?” Trinny sounded his name out seductively, “Just tell him it’s a mutual friend's party and he can just...drop you off at my place and I can drive us over to Donte’s. He’s expecting you to be there, don’t you wanna see him?”

“First of all STOP saying his name like that, it’s cringe. Secondly, my dad ain’t stupid he will know I’m trying to be sneaky.”

“Well, then you won’t be going,” Trinny turned back on her chair, bringing her shades back down, “Your mother is a complete BITCH. My parents are never around so it’s not like that can tell me what the fuck to do...GIRL! I forgot to tell you about what happened with me and Miles…”

Kayla blocked out Trinny’s words. She really wasn’t in the mood for gossip. After the big argument with her mom they basically avoided each other. Her father tried to play the mediator in the situation but her mother didn’t feel like dealing with it anymore. She felt like she lost a battle against her own daughter. Kayla is still irritated with her for going through her phone and finding her half naked photos. 

“Kay, are you even listening to me?” Trinny says with an elevated tone.

“Uhm...what happened with Miles?” 

“Oh my God, bitch, you didn’t even hear a word I said.”

“Sorry...I’m just thinking about my mom...she found my photos that I planned on sending to Donte.”

“WHAT?!” Trinny sat up, flipping her legs around to sit on the edge of the lounge chair.

“Yep...she went through my phone and found my photos. She literally invaded my privacy.”

“That’s fucked UP.”

“I know,” Kayla says with a sad voice, “she should have just talked to me about it instead of going through my phone and snooping…”

“I mean, would you have told her?” Trinny asked.

Kayla didn’t respond to that. 

“Don’t worry, if you come to this party tonight, Donte can see you in your underwear then.”

“Ughhh!” Kayla blushes, “In person is better than in a picture, isn’t it?”

“Exactly!!!! Then, you can finally lose that V-card like I did with Miles...trust me...I heard Donte is big,” Trinny giggles.

“I don’t know about having sex with him but we can kiss...and touch,” Kayla says timidly.

“Kiss? Touch? Girl, this ain’t middle school! You are about to be 17 years old! It’s time to take it to 3rd base.” 

“I don’t know,” Kayla chuckles, “That’s sacred, you know?”

“Yeah, I get it Kay-Kay, miss star basketball player, you’re chicken!” 

“Shut up, Trinny,” Kayla sat up in her own lounge chair, adjusting the straps to the bikini that Trinny let her borrow since her parents felt it was too grown to wear something so revealing, “Take a picture of me in this bikini, it’s cute on me.” 

“Yeah, it shows off your curves,” Trinny grabs her iPhone, standing up to take a picture of Kayla. Kayla stood in front of the pool, looking back at Trinny with her booty poked out like those IG models do, giving a kissy face to the camera. Trinny snaps a few photos before instructing for Kayla to turn around, bend over, and blow a kiss to the camera.

“Donte NEEDS to see these,” She motions for Kayla to come over so she can see them.

“Oooh, They are all so cute, send them to me!” 

“Gotcha,” Trinny sends them to Kayla but not before sending them to Donte as well without Kayla’s knowledge, “You ready to fool around with my parents liquor stash before we do each other’s makeup and toes?”

Just then, Kayla’s phone started ringing. Picking it up from the chair, Kayla almost jumped out of her own skin.

“It’s my dad! He’s trying to FaceTime me!”

“Cover up!” Trinny tosses Kayla a fluffy beach towel with SpongeBob on it while laughing hysterically at Kyla frantically trying to wrap herself with it.

“Hey Daddy!” Kayla puts on a wide smile while walking away towards Trinny’s house.

“Hey, Princess...you didn’t tell me you were leaving...what did we talk about?” His voice was stern right along with his eyes. 

“I’m at Trinny’s. She picked me up...I didn’t think I needed to tell you.”

“You didn’t think you needed to tell me? Really Kay? I don’t care if you were going to your cousins house. You let us know where you are going, with who, and when you will be home, ALWAYS, do you hear me?”

“...yes,” Kayla takes a seat at Trinny’s parents open bar in the kitchen. She toyed with a bottle opener out of her father's vision so that he wouldn’t assume she was drinking. 

“I’ll come and pick you up, Trinny lives in the hilltop community right?”

Kayla sighs, “Dad, Trinny can bring me home. She has her license. You don’t have to come-

“I don’t think it’s a good idea for Trinny to drop you off, your mom already thinks the friendship you have with her is questionable.” 

Kayla can see her dad leaving the house in a crisp white t-shirt with the words “The Black Dollar Is A Terrible Thing To Waste” one of his brand T-shirts since he has his own clothing company. 

“Mom says this, mom says that, what can I do? Honestly. It’s like I’m in a prison.”

“You’ll be in your own prison if you keep talking about your mother like that,” Erik warns while settling behind the wheel of his Lamborghini truck, “Have your things packed I’ll be there in like fifteen minutes.”

“Whatever,” Kayla hangs up, slamming her phone down with a roll of her eyes. She wasn’t ready to go home just yet. Supposedly Trinny could whip up a mean daiquiri with tequila and she wanted one badly. The only amount of alcohol she has ever had is a few sips of red wine from her mom during the holidays. 

“How did it go?” Trinny came strolling back inside with her long, jet black, silky thick hair that reminded Kayla of Pocahontas soaking wet. She must have taken a quick dip in the pool. 

“I have to go home apparently...he’s on his way here.”

“Ouch,” Trinny has a smile on her face, “So I get to see your fine ass dad? Mmm.”

“Trinny, STOP IT! For real,” Kayla says with rage, “That’s my dad and your underage...it’s disgusting.”

“First of all, I’m 18, secondly, it’s not disgusting if the feeling is mutual,” Trinny starts laughing as if it were a joke but Kayla is angered, “Girl...chill the fuck out. I’m kidding...I wouldn’t do you like that.” 

“...have you ever...been with an older man?” Kayla asks with a whisper as if an adult was in earshot.

Trinny kisses her teeth, “okay...once. He’s 23 though...my older brother's college friend. It happened over winter break.” 

“TRINNY!” Kayla was flabbergasted. 

“What?!!! You’re giving me this judgy look.”

A knock came to Trinny’s door. Kayla shared a look with her before quickly getting up from the bar, running out of the kitchen and up the stairs to Trinny’s room. She was still in the bikini that Trinny let her borrow. Trinny opened the door, giving Erik her best braces filled smile, poking her petite hip out.

“Mr. Erik! Hi!” She spoke with a bubbly voice before holding her door open wider, “Kayla is up stairs gathering her things, do you wanna come in and wait?”

“Yeah, I can do that,” Erik stepped into the house, looking around like a detective would a crime scene.

“Everything okay, Mr. Erik?” Trinny stepped around to meet his eyes.

“...where are your parents, Trinny?” 

“Out of town, Santa Monica,” Trinny gave him a wide smile, “They are always pretty busy, nothing new.” 

Erik averted his eyes completely. Trinny was inappropriately dressed with the tiny fabric of her bikini, a belly ring, and a tattoo of a butterfly on her left hip. Erik walked around Trinny to stand near her steps, his eyes focused up and ahead so he could spot Kayla. He couldn’t explain it but he felt out of place. Being alone with Trinny didn’t feel right.

“I’m going to wait in my car. When Kayla is finished, tell her I am outside waiting on her,” Erik says before walking towards the door again.

“Mr. Erik, you don’t have to go so soon...it’s okay to stay inside.” Trinny says with a soft voice.

Erik’s blood was boiling. Trinny wasn’t his daughter but if she was...she wouldn’t see the light of day for a very very long time. She was definitely a lost child. No direction at all. He feared for what this little girl influenced Kayla to do. Y/N is right, Trinny is a problem. Erik was back outside in a flash, his breath coming out harshly. This will be the last time Kayla steps foot in this house again.

Back inside, Kayla is storming down the stairs wearing a pair of Nike biker shorts with a matching Nike sports bra, some Nike slides, and a beach bag filled with her swimwear. 

“Your dad was in here waiting for you but he left,” Trinny spoke lazily, “Do you have everything?”

“Yep! Let me get out of here before he calls me! Bye girl!” Kayla gives Trinny a quick hug before leaving her place. 

_________

“Her parents are never around huh? No wonder she has no direction, give me your bag.”

Kayla tried her best not to roll her eyes while she handed her father her bag. Kayla walked towards their home, her keys swinging in her hand. 

“She’s too grown, Kay. I don’t want you going back to that house.”

“Seriously?” Kayla stomped, turning to face her father, “This is crazy...did mommy talk you into this?”

“No...I’m making the decision.”

Erik ignored Kayla’s whining voice while opening the front door. He held the door open for her, Kayla storming inside like a brat.

“You better pipe that shit down, Kayla. What conversation did we just have this week? No more disrespect. You still have to apologize to your mother for talking to her the way you did. You’re lucky you still have your fucking phone.”

“So much for me asking you if I can go to this party…” Kayla reaches her hand out for her bag, “Can I have my bag back please?”

Erik heaved a sigh before handing Kayla her bag, “What party did you think you would be going to?”

“See...this is EXACTLY WHY I didn’t ask,” Kayla threw her hands up with defeat, “Never mind...forget I said anything.”

“This party involves you going with Trinny and I know Donte will be there. That is a definite no, Kay, I’m happy you knew not to ask. I don’t trust him, and neither should you honestly. I told you he has one thing in mind, ONE.”

“Yeah, I heard you the first time you said it,” Kayla turned away from her father to climb the stairs to her room, “I guess I’ll go sulk in my room for the rest of the night!” 

“I don’t think so! You still have to talk to your mother, Kay! Don’t think you’re off the hook!” Erik shouted after her before Kayla slammed her door shut, “AND OPEN THAT DOOR!”

“Ughhhhh,” Kayla opened her door. 

Erik was exhausted. Stalking to the kitchen he opens the fridge to figure out what to make for dinner this time. Y/N will be home in a couple of hours and the pot of spaghetti that he made was nearly finished. Erik decided to make some salmon with lemon butter sauce, mashed potatoes, and green beans. Taking the fresh salmon fillet from the fridge, Erik opened the spice cabinet to choose all the seasoning and rubs that he needed. The green beans are frozen so that would be easy to pour into a pot and the mashed potatoes are instant. 

While he sets off to cook, Erik receives a text on his cellphone from Y/N. Rinsing his fingers free of seasoning, Erik dries his hands with a dish towel hanging from his shoulder before picking his cell up from the counter. He unlocked his phone to read the text, his eyebrows disappearing behind his locs while reading her message. If it isn’t one thing it’s another. It was becoming draining. It was an overflowing bucket of issues. Y/N was at work she didn’t need added stress on top of being a Nurse Practitioner. 

Wifey: KAYLA WAS OVER TRINNY’S HOUSE?! 

Erik: Are you available to talk right now, babe?

Three seconds later, Y/N calls.

“Where is she?” Y/N spoke harshly through the phone.

“She’s home now, relax, I took care of it,” Erik covered the salmon with aluminum foil before placing it in the oven set to broil on high. 

“Wasn’t she supposed to do that blood drive after school today? Why is she at Trinny’s house in a little ass bikini?”

“Wait, what?” Erik pulled the dish towel from his shoulder harshly, “How do you know about this?”

“Remember I told you that Delia follows her? She thinks because her and her aunt are buddy buddy that she won’t tell me!” 

Erik closes his eyes, “Do I even want to know what these fucking photos look like?”

“Don’t even worry, I’ll be confiscating her phone when I get home.” 

“I’ll do it.”

“...really?” Y/N says with a disbelieving tone.

“Yeah, I can go upstairs and do it now. Enough is enough we should have taken it for good when we found the photos instead of giving it back.”

“Wow, now you put your foot down the proper way,” Y/N chuckles to hide her irritation.

“Why are you being so cynical about it? I’ve been putting my foot down, Y/N, I just don’t yell and shout like you do.”

“I’ll see you when I get home, I’m not discussing this right now.” 

“Fine,” Erik takes the phone from his ear, hanging it up without another word spoken. Since three nights ago when Y/N and Kayla argued, Y/N took her frustrations out on him. Erik endured it enough. Walking up the stairs, Erik made his way to Kayla’s room. Knocking twice, Erik held his ear to the door. Kayla was listening to music. Lil Uzi Vert was playing loudly over her speaker and there was no way she would hear. Twisting the knob, Erik called her name between the crack of the door, Kayla still not answering him. 

“KAY!” Erik shouts before opening her door fully, “WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?”

Erik couldn’t help but to raise his voice angrily at his daughter. Kayla is laying back on the bed in a bikini that barely covered her breasts, taking seductive photos. At the sound of her father's booming voice, Kayla shot up out of her bed, grabbing a faux fur zebra printed throw blanket from a bean bag chair on her floor, wrapping it around her body with an embarrassed look on her face. 

“Turn that music off...now,” Erik says while trying to still his rage. Kayla grabs her phone from her bed, pausing her music before looking down at her feet. 

“I guess your mother texting me was a sign for me to come up here and check on you...she found out that you were at Trinny’s house and she says that you are all over Instagram with a tiny ass bikini on, bent over all grown,” Erik closes his eyes to ease his anger, “What the fuck are you doing wearing that, Kay?”

“Dad...it’s just a swimsuit. Swimsuits are going to show skin! I can’t help that-

“You can. You have more appropriate swimwear and that’s not a swimsuit that’s two pieces of barely any fabric. Delia told your mom about it.”

Kayla felt a mixture of fear and anger towards her father. Aunt Delia told her mother? She felt betrayed. She could go to Aunt Delia about anything but now that is over. She’s getting unfriended just like the rest of her nosy, interfering relatives. 

“Taking more photos for your Instagram or did you plan on sending those photos to Donte?” 

Kayla’s eyes danced around her room, avoiding her father's question. 

“Kayla…” Erik spoke carefully, “I’m going to ask you one more time...who are these photos for?”

“...Dad-

“ANSWER THE QUESTION!”

Kayla gasps, her eyes growing wide and frightened. She stepped back further, her back touching her bedroom wall. Erik was shaking, his eyes blazing, and his breathing harsh. Her father never got this pissed off with her. 

“It’s for IG!!! That’s it!!!” Kayla spoke with a shrill voice.

“Give me your phone,” Erik held out his hand, “I’m not playing. Give me the damn phone, Kayla. That’s it. I tried the calm and understanding approach now it’s time to give you tough love.”

Kayla groaned loudly before throwing her phone at the wall, cracking her screen. She blew air through her cheeks while angrily wiping tears from her eyes. Erik was reading to blow a fucking casket. He tilted his head at Kayla, his eyes searching hers, silently asking her why she would do that?

“Forget the dance, forget having your phone for the remainder of the school year, you will no longer hang with Trinny, you will come straight home from practice to focus on school and that’s it. The TV, OFF, you have no privileges, FUCKING NONE I am tired we did not raise you to be disrespectful and unappreciative. I’m serious about this, Kayla, I am done, I am fucking done, do you hear me, fucking done, do you understand what I am saying? Do you see the seriousness in my tone...my face?!!!!”

A single tear fell from Kayla’s eye while she stared at her father as if he were a stranger. He looked at her with this disgusted expression like he couldn’t believe that she is his daughter; that he created her. He looked like he wanted to disown her. All of this over a few raunchy photos. Kayla didn’t believe it was that serious of an issue to punish her so extensively. 

“I guess I should just find a new family since my parents are so damn extra-

“WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU JUST SAY?” Erik stormed over to Kayla, “REPEAT THAT?”

Kayla swallowed spit nervously, “...I just feel like this is going too far...It’s just photos, Dad, that’s all.”

Erik chuckled dryly before bending down to pick up Kayla’s cell from the floor, “take that shit off and get yourself together, it’s late,” he spoke with malice before walking out of Kayla’s room, leaving the door wide open. 

___________________

Y/N walked through the front door, tossing her keys in a ceramic bowl that Kayla created in her art class during her freshman year of high school. She wore a change of clothes so that she wouldn’t bring germs home from the workplace. She could smell dinner and her mouth instantly watered. Walking through her living room area Y/N could hear Erik talking to someone in the kitchen. When she finally entered Erik was sitting at the kitchen island talking to Delia, Y/N’s younger sister. 

“Hey, sis,” Delia stood up to give Y/N a quick hug, “Erik called me over so we could talk about Kayla.”

“Hey babe,” Y/N gave Erik a chaste kiss before walking over to the stove, opening the top to the green beans and inhaling, “So what are we discussing exactly? Her photos or her overall disregard?”

“All of it,” Erik says while holding a water bottle in his hand, “I filled Delia in on everything that’s been going on here with Kay Kay-

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Delia spoke defensively, “I haven’t spoken to you in about a month and the first thing I hear is that my niece is being defiant and grown.”

“These are our issues, Delia. All you’re gonna do is go back to mama and tell her what’s going on and you know she can’t keep her mouth shut for shit. Then, I’ll have the whole damn family calling me, asking me what I’m doing wrong and how I should handle it. Kayla is my daughter.””

“Maybe that’s what you need right now because clearly what you’re doing isn’t working,” Delia shared a quick look with Erik, “Erik and I were talking and we think Kayla should spend the summer with Aunt Edwertta. She can use the isolation-

“Aunt Edwertta is a pastor’s wife who will do nothing but shame Kayla. Plus, ever since she said that I don’t have love for my family I don’t talk to her. She criticizes everything I do, she talks about how her kids are these wealthy people like we’re trash. She can mind her business too and worry about what fine China set she wants to eat on for dinner.”

“Baby,” Erik stood from his seat at the counter, “It might be a good idea. We punish her, take things away, yell, repeatedly tell her what not to do and nothing is working. This might be a good idea-

“Erik, I don’t need you to tell me what’s good for Kayla-

“Kayla is MY CHILD as well, Y/N...we make decisions together,” Erik spoke sternly while jabbing his finger against the kitchen counter. 

“Funny, you and Delia must be the new married couple because both of you made a decision without me.” 

“I’m not trying to overstep,” Delia looked between Erik and Y/N, “she’s my niece, and I care about her.”

“Teh,” Y/N walks away to grab a plate, “Her auntie or her friend? What made you change your mind?”

“Seriously, Y/N?” Delia was immortalized with fury, “Just because me and YOUR daughter are close doesn’t mean that I don’t worry about what the fuck she is out here doing-

“CHILL OUT,” Erik stood between both women that are much smaller than him, “I asked Delia over so she could tell me if there is anything else we need to know about Kay, especially with Trinny.”

“Trinny is all up and down her page,” Delia pulls out her cell, “I checked out the girls page and she’s pretty popular on IG with like 250K followers.”

Delia gives Y/N her phone to look at Trinny’s page. Trinny looked like a 25 year old girl with the way she dressed. This isn’t the influence that Kayla needed. Y/N goes back to Kayla’s page and sees the photos, turning the phone screen around to show Erik. His jaw clenched painfully while staring at the pictures. 

David_05: Damn, this is Kayla?! 👀 shawty got a phatty.

TrinnyVasquez_xoxo: THATS MY SEXY BEST FRIEND! @Dman_theRealest do you see your girl?

Dman_theRealest: SHEESH! I hope you’re coming to my party I need to see this in person, hit my phone light skin 😈

“She was taking more photos in her room when I went to get her phone...I think she was sending them to Donte,” Erik gives Delia her phone back.

“Where is her phone, let’s check,” Y/N impatiently held her hand out towards Erik for him to give her Kayla’s phone. Digging into the pocket of his jeans, Erik carefully places Kayla’s phone into Y/N’s hand since the screen was shattered completely.

“SHE DID THIS?!” Y/N examined the phone with hysterical eyes, “We just bought her this phone!”

“She won’t be needing it...just be careful looking through it so you don’t cut yourself.”

Delia and Y/N go to Kayla’s camera roll, finding just three photos of her showing an ample amount of cleavage with the same tiny bikini top on. She’s licking her lips seductively while staring into the camera. With her heart thumping painfully in her chest, Y/N goes to Kayla’s inbox and finds a message thread with Donte.

“She sent them to him…” Y/N spoke with a defeated voice, “Oh my God-

“WHAT?” Erik looked like he was ready to punch a wall.

“He sent her a picture of his...well, you know.”

“Oh hell nah!!! Little nigga sending my daughter dick pictures?!! Fuck that!!! KAYLA!”

“Shhhh, Erik no,” Y/N tried to stop him, “We will talk with her later-

“Ain’t no later she got some explaining to do! What if she’s having sex, Y/N? How will you feel then?”

“You know Donte’s father, you can have a talk with him tomorrow while you assist coach their practice,” Y/N reasons, “Man to man. For all we know Kayla probably didn’t see the photos yet since you took her phone-

“But he is sending them to MY daughter. I will gladly rough this little ass boy up, Y/N, I don’t care how old he is,” Erik tries to walk past Y/N but she stops him, “The boy is a JOKE. The shit I hear him talk about…no.” 

“I’m going to go,” Delia grabs her shoulder bag that she purchased from a friend’s boutique, “I’m sorry if I intruded. Y/N, Erik, please keep me posted on everything. I have to pick up Amar from day care.”

“...okay,” Y/N gives her sister a quick hug. 

Delia makes her way out of the house, leaving Y/N in the kitchen with her arms around Erik’s waist to calm him down.

___________

Sitting at the long extendable dining table, Kayla accepts her plate filled with a healthy portion of food. Y/N sat across from her, playing with the remaining green beans on her plate with her fork. Erik was at the head of the table chewing his food slowly while looking between his daughter and his wife. The tension was so thick a machete would have a hard time cutting through it. Kayla reaches for her glass of lemonade to wash down the potatoes, spilling some on her pajama top. She reached for some napkins placed in the middle of the table at the same time her mother did, their fingers touching. Kayla flinched, withdrawing her hand quickly. 

Y/N noticed her actions, dropping her fork on her plate with a loud clanking. Kayla looked up through her lashes at her mother before rolling her eyes with a shake of her head. Erik ran his tongue across his upper teeth while giving Kayla a death glare. Kayla could feel the heat of her father's eyes almost burning a whole into the flesh of her temple but she ignored it. Sitting in front of her mother after eavesdropping on her and Aunt Delia looking through her phone made her want to scream and pull her hair. Donte sent her a dick pic that she didn’t get a chance to see because her father walked into her room without knocking. 

“Kayla, don’t you have something to say to your mother?” Erik says, his deep authoritative voice loud in her ear even though he sat further away.

“I’m sorry,” Kayla says dismissively.

“Let’s try that again,” Erik says, “Apologize.”

Kayla looks up at her mother, seeing the hurt in her eyes. She is cowardly in her chair, unable to look at her face any longer.

“I apologize, ma, I’m sorry for yelling and cussing at you, I’m sorry for disrespecting you, I’m just truly sorry.”

Y/N couldn’t fight her tears, “Why do you do this? Is it Trinny? Does she tell you to act like this?”

“No…” Kayla didn’t sound too sure of her response, “It’s all me.”

“Are you covering for her?” Y/N asked with a shaky voice.

“Trinny has nothing to do with this, okay? I’m just tired of being sheltered, I’m tired of being treated like a five year old; can’t wear certain things, can’t go certain places, can’t talk to boys, no privacy at all. Y’all don’t understand...I’m not a little girl anymore...I want freedom.”

“Freedom to do what?” Erik says with his brows raised and a smirk on his face, “You’re 16, what’s out there for you at 16? Trust me, I know what’s out there. I was 16 before. I think you’re covering for Trinny and that scares me. She was prancing around in a bikini in front of my my face, trying to get my attention sexually-

“Oh really?” Y/N leans back in her dining chair, folding her arms across her chest, “So not only is she out here acting like she’s a grown ass woman she’s trying to seduce your father?!”

“Trinny is all jokes, she’s goofy and wild that’s it.” Kayla tries to defend.

“Jokes?! What does she say to you about us, Kay? Come on, there is no need in hiding it either way we will find out.” Y/N says.

“She thinks dad is cute but I told her to stop, Trinny wouldn’t actually try anything,” Kayla shakes her head with annoyance.

“Remind me to pay a visit to Trinny’s house to talk to her parents,” Y/N spoke more so to Erik before pushing her plate away, “That little girl is problematic.”

“Mom...please,” Kayla looked worried.

“Why are you taking up for her?! Do you need her approval or something?” 

“You don’t get it,” Kayla stood up from the table, “I’m not hungry anymore-

“Sit down and eat because you won’t be coming down here in the middle of the night to eat,” Erik says while sipping his lemonade, “Trinny is popular, right? You want to be popular? Known? Trinny took you under her wing and now you will do whatever it takes to keep that up...correct?”

It was written all over Kayla’s face. I guess being the school athlete wasn’t enough. No surprise honestly. Trinny is beautiful, popular, definitely having sex and those are all the things that Kayla fed off of. Trinny wanted to mold Kayla into a replication of herself. 

“You don’t have to respond, I already know,” Erik says while forking some salmon, “Tomorrow, I’m going to have a talk with Donte’s father. I already spoke to him and I’ll be discussing with him about what Donte did.”

“Dad no!” Kayla panicked, “Please! If somebody finds out I will be clowned forever!”

“Kayla, what do you expect us to do?” Y/N says, “Enough is enough, he shouldn’t be sending you anything like that to your phone-

“Oh yeah, I almost forgot you snooped through my phone again, typical,” Kayla fires back with hard eyes, “What’s next? Implanting a chip in my arm to see where I go when I’m not home?”

“Who the FUCK are you smart mouthing? Erik…” Y/N’s hands shook, “I’m telling you...get your daughter, get her now.”

“Take your food upstairs, Kay. Clearly this punishment isn’t sinking in. Y/N, I’m sending her to Aunt Edwertta’ for spring break.” Erik wasn’t asking, he was telling. Y/N didn’t argue with him. Maybe sending her there will do something for her. 

“Auntie Edwertta? What?!!” Kayla stood from her seat almost knocking the chair down, “I don’t want to stay with her!!!”

“You don’t have a choice in the matter,” Erik stands, grabbing all of their plates, piling it up, “Get some sleep, you have school in the morning.” 

Kayla stormed away, rushing up the stairs. Y/N finally exhaled before the tears began to fall. 

“Hey,” Erik’s large hand on her back rubbing it in circles made her cry harder, “We have to try every approach, baby. We’ll call your aunt and ask her. Since spring break is in two weeks we can drive Kayla up there and get her settled in. Baby, shh shh, hey, look at me,” Erik crouched down in front of Y/N turning her face towards his, “It’ll be okay...she’s still our baby girl…”

Y/N pressed her forehead against Erik’s while he thumbed away her tears. He kissed her all over her face before wrapping his arms tightly around her waist.

“What if this doesn’t work? What if she goes up there and tries to sneak away?”

“Aye, let’s not think bad thoughts,” Erik strokes Y/N’s hair back, “we have to try first, don’t we?”

“I know I know,” Y/N sniffles, “I just wish it didn’t have to come to this.”

“What else do we have?” Erik says with a soft, soothing tone. 

_________

“Damn! What kind of shit is that? I can’t even remember the last time I was punished. Your parents are like correctional officers. Eat this time, sleep this time, study this time, like what the fuck?!” 

Kayla was sitting on her roof, way past her bedtime. Her parents forgot to confiscate her iPad that she got as a gift from her Aunt Delia. 

“They don’t want me hanging with you anymore. This may even be our last conversation, girl.”

“...what?” Trinny’s face frowned, “What the fuck did I do?”

“Well...they think that you are a bad influence on me,” Kayla dramatically rolls her eyes into her head.

“WOW,” Trinny rolls her eyes, “Mr. Erik ain’t my future baby daddy anymore, IM KIDDING CHILL OUT!”

“I don’t know how many times I have to tell you that shit is nasty and I don’t like you referring to my father in that way.”

“Whatever, the party was lit by the way, too bad you didn’t make it,” Trinny pouts on the phone. Donte was expecting to see you but I kept him company so it was cool.”

Kayla squinted her eyes at Trinny, “Kept him company doing what?”

“We just chilled, played Uno, had some drinks, you know, my special daquiris. Everybody was asking for you!”

Kayla felt uneasy, “I told you, my parents don’t want me hanging with you anymore, Trinny.”

“You’re your own person, I don’t make you do shit. You wanna hang with me, that's your decision...I can’t stand your bitch ass mom,” Trinny laughs.

Kayla mugs Trinny, “Listen, I don’t like this shit either but my mom isn’t a bitch, okay? Don’t call her that...if anything I can not you.”

“Oh so NOW I can’t call her that? Girl, fuck outta here. She’s a bitch and if she says anything to my parents it’s a problem, PERIOD.”

“What the fuck? Why are you popping off? I said what I said, that’s it on that,” Kayla says getting buck on FaceTime.

“Listen, you called me to vent. So whatever you got going on leave that shit over there. Don’t FaceTime me on some rah rah like you’re big and bad,” Trinny yelled into her phone, “You know what, why don’t you go ahead and hang up, you punished, right? Go to bed baby boo.” 

Kayla hangs up, ready to throw her iPad off the roof and into their pool but instead she looks up into the starry sky, tears welling up in her brown eyes. Looks like she lost a friend. She has other friends but it was something about hanging with Trinny. She wasn’t looked at as the good girl, the nerdy girl, the boring girl. Quickly, Kayla made it back inside of her bedroom, closing her window behind her. She placed her iPad in her hiding place before slipping beneath her covers, tucking herself in. She is afraid to face Trinny and Donte tomorrow at school. Closing her eyes, Kayla forces herself to fall asleep, her brain trying its best to ward off nightmares. 

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#Erik Killmonger #erik x reader #killmonger x reader #nahimjustfeelingit writes

[tpwksammy]

Zed Chapter 1-3

Sitting in the car with Kaden I keep my knees pressed to the door and phone in my hands.

He knocked on my apartment door after he finished work and told me we were going somewhere.

Kaden didn't specify but he has a small addiction with gambling. I ask him not to bring me to those events with him but he throws a fit telling me how worthless and a bad girlfriend I am. I've learned to not ask questions anymore.

"June aren't you going to ask me how my day was?" Kaden looks at me with his two hands on the wheel. His long locks are pushes back perfectly on his face.

Everything in this man's life has to be perfect. His hair, reputation, grades, money and me. Its utterly impossible

"How was your day?" I muster the softest smile.

"The deal for our company to expand across the world was accepted. I'm going to be rich June, you and I are gonna move out of here. Can't wait for it to just be me and you, we can get a house in the middle of nowhere. Just be ourselves." Reaching his hand for mine he locks our fingers and kisses the back of my hand.

"That's so great, I know you always wanted that!" Maybe he'll be nice away from the city.

"You don't sound too thrilled?" His eyebrows bunch down hard and I turn my head to give him my full attention.

"Well, where were you thinking of moving? I want to stay close to Mae."

Charlie Mae is my best friend. The first person I met when I moved to London.

I've lived in England for all my life but I moved more south to get away from my parents. Pathing my own life and experiencing new things was something I've always wanted to do.

I work at a small flower shop called Petal. Ever since I was young I always loved to run outside. I would run until my shoes would hit a flower patch and I would go picking for hours. Laying down in the field and smelling the fresh scent made me happier than I could ever be.

Mom and Dad weren't happy when I moved out here. I was supposed to go to law school and work alongside my father at his firm but after getting my arts degree I left.

That's why I'm dating Kaden actually.

My father and his are business partners. The only way for me to remain a part of my family was to marry someone of higher status. That wouldn't make a fool out of him like I have been doing my whole life.

Dad never wanted a daughter.

I don't think he's ever been proud of me and my mom simply encourages the behaviour. That's one of the main reasons I moved from the outskirts of their perfect rich life.

I wished they liked me but no matter what they do I always check-in to make sure they're alright.

"You know how I feel about Charlie, she's a bad influence. Always wanting you to go to parties and clubs. Just like how she sleeps with anyone who moves, it's unacceptable. We'll move away and it'll be perfect just wait and see."

I keep silent and rake my right hand up and down my thighs not wanting to anger him. "Yeah, it will be you're right." Kaden smiles happily and kisses my hand once more.

Im wearing a light green floral dress like always. The little flower pattern keeps me at peace.

"Alright, we're here. Just do me a favour and don't talk okay hun?" Leaning forward he presses a kiss to my lips and gets out of the car.

It's pitch black but light poles illuminate just enough light to see.

Loud chattering and defining laughter take over my senses. I smile to the groups of excited people.

I love the feeling of being free even I have to experience it from others.

Letting my eyes roam around to the dark area, trees and roads surround us in the middle of nowhere. Hundreds of people are huddled around four parked cars on the street ahead.

"June." His sharp voice and knocking on the window takes me out of my trace.

Nodding his head to get out I open the door and close it quietly. Looking to Kaden he points to a set of bleachers.

"I'll be right there I just need to place my bets. Don't go far." His tone demanding and I nod.

Walking away from me with no other word I take to the aluminum bleachers and make my climb to the top so I can see everything. Taking my seat the four cars rest directly in front and I watch as drivers smoke cigarettes and talk to each other.

Roaming my eyes over the cars a huge smile takes over my face. I wonder how fast those things go. I've always wanted to max out the speed of a car. Experience the true rush it looked like in the movies but I couldn't. Kaden instructed that I dont ruin his name by doing crazy things.

It's exhausting doing everything everyone tells you all the time. I moved away to be myself but I can't even do that.

Fixing my green dress I look down to all eyes on me. Girls dressed in black jeans, biker jackets and dark makeup lock their judging eyes on me and I sink down into the seat.

Placing my blonde hair behind my ear I look at my white running shoes tapping them a sweet melody trying to disappear.

"Starting in two minutes." a loud voice shouts on a speaker and I quickly look in a jump. The stands begin to fill quickly and I don't know where to divert my eyes.

I spot Kaden down by the starting line handing a thick load of cash to a man in a black hoodie. Looking away biting my lip my eyes look on a green race car. It's a shiny dark lime colour and my eyes grow wide looking at it. All the other cars around are black making this one stand out.

I dont think I've ever seen a car this beautiful.

It's so rad.

Trailing my eyes down to the front a man sits on the hood with his arms crossed in front of him watching me closely and my back straightens.

Black hair brushed back leaves his dark round sunglasses on display. I feel his eyes watching me and it sends a shiver down my body. Tattoos paint every inch of his visible skin and my body finds his artwork fascinating.

I wonder what they look like up close.

I look around my area making sure he's looking at me but when I look back his face never moves from mine.

I can't look away. Something about him is just so beautiful and mysterious.

He's dressed in black pants a white shirt and a leather jacket which is completely opposite to my outfit. I laugh a wide smile and a small smirk paints his perfect lips.

Leaning against his car neither of us look away. Lifting his hands about to take off his sunglasses Kaden takes a seat next to me by surprise.

Wrapping his hand around my arm he pulls me to his side harshly. My body knocks into his like always and he keeps his hand wrapped around my arm. It begins to hurt when he applies pinching pressure and I tighten my lips in pain.

"Ouch Kaden." I squirm and frail my arm upwards. I try to escape his hold but he yanks me down to eye level.

Locking eyes he looks at me angrily before leaning into my ear viscously. "Don't embarrass me out here. Don't talk to me that way June."

My eyes not noticeable widen and my heart skips a small beat.

Tugging his lips up in a twitch he lets go and I rip my hand arm away from him rubbing the skin. Kaden only smiles back politely.

"I got my money on the green car. His name around here is Zed. Undefeated champion, people come out here every night thinking they'll outdrive him but it never happens. This guy's a machine behind the wheel."

Turning my stare back to the green car the man no longer has his stare on me but Kaden.

His face is dropped in complete anger and goosebumps take over my body in slight terror as I look to Kaden but his stare is on the crowd in front of him oblivious.

Zed grips his hands into firsts before locking eyes with me.

Immediately unclenching he stares at me in complete curiosity, sadness and anger at the same time. For another couple minutes we simply stare at each other.

"Drivers to your seats." The man on the speakers yells excitedly and the crowd erupts in cheers. The noise is all absent in the background as I look at him.

Zed forcefully removes his stare and looks to the ground for a second before stocking off to the driver's door.

Rocks under his shoes crumble and the green door opens widely as he climbs in swiftly. Slamming the door with a thud, all of the engines shout to a roar through the midnight sky. - chapter 2

When the flag signals "go" the cars take off with a roar. The gravel under the wheels crunch as they speed away. The crowd stands with blaring shouts jumping up and down.

With angry curses of motivation and loud cheers of excitement, the cars rip down the abandoned road at a sickening fast speed.

Lifting my head to see where the cars go they take off down obstacles and my site loses them in the darkness. Slumping back in my seat Kaden keeps his head locked on the road and his knee bounces in anticipation.

"What are you doing?" I ask and he turns his head sharply.

"Keeping my eye on my money maker."

I wonder how long these things last? Snapping my fingers, bouncing my hands on my leg in a fidget Kaden presses his hand on top of them stopping my motion.

Immediately my body runs cold and I feel the need to apologize.

"Sorry," I whisper and frail my bum down on the bleachers growing small.

"It's a little annoying but all is good. "

"They're coming back!" A voice screams and everyone stands including myself. Just like I knew, the green car comes zooming past all of the cars in first. Ahead by a long shoot his car flies past the finish line skidding to a stop on its side.

"Yes!" Kaden stands and presses his hands to my jaw pulling me in for a forceful kiss. Moulding our lips together I try to pull away but he keeps going. Our lips part with a smucker and he smiles like a child.

"I love you so much!"

The sounds of the other cars zoom to the finish line and the crowd runs to the cars below.

"Oh god hun, you might just be my lucky charm, let's go." slapping our hands together he races us down the bleachers giving me no time to look where I'm going.

"Kaden slow down." I whimper trying to let go but he continues to race.

Tripping over my toes I fall on my two feet to the ground and he yanks me forward in a fast walk. Looking to the green car I watch as Zed steps out of his car with a slam. Reaching into his pocket his gaze locks on mine but drifts to Kaden hardly and his jaw tightens.

"Zed, that was amazing, I've never seen anything like that." Kaden rips his hand out of mine leaving me meters behind, running up to Zed as I stay put.

"helping me win those big bucks man, appreciated." Laughing sticking his hand out to shake Zed only eyes him aggressively with utter disgust.

After seconds go by and no motion to move forward Kaden lowers his hand. "Not a shaking guy I get it."

Turning around in a circle I focus my sight on all the cars and happy crowd. Giggling when I see a man fling a girl on his shoulders playfully I breathe the air around me clearly. Wallowing in my clear space for just a second of peace.

"June." His voice grabs my attention covering up his tone in polite, dragging me by the hand to his side. Standing in front of Zed he takes his sunglasses off and his bright brown eyes stare softly into mine.

I swallow down my dry throat as my body suddenly freezes, trapped in his beauty.

"This is my girlfriend June." Kaden nudges me but I don't say anything while still staring at Zed.

"June don't be rude." He whispers tightly in my ear and I look away when his hold on my hand squeezes my body down.

The move wasn't noticeable but Zed's eyes are locked on our hold. Viscousness pours from his frame.

"Sweetheart, you alright?" Zed changes his tone and his eyes soften on mine.

"Why wouldn't she be alright." Kaden presses and I stare weakly at him. He always speaks for me. Dropping my head slightly, someone catches Kaden's attention.

"You collecting your earnings?" the man's voice is sharp and Kaden's body stands in victory. Letting go of my hand he runs off to the podium and I stand in front of Zed leaning my head up to the stars.

They were so bright tonight.

"You didn't answer my question." I look down to the voice as he takes a step closer towards me Our chests are about to touch and in reflex I back away hitting the front of his car.

"Yes, I'm alright." I unconvincingly say and he shakes his head.

"I'm no idiot-"

"Is your name really Zed?" I interrupt not liking when people pry in my business.

"No sweetheart that's just my nickname around here. My names Zayn."

Zayn, Zayn, Zayn, Zayn.

"That's such a graceful name." I smile cheekily and he presses a finger to my chin giggling from the touch.

"Going to tell me yours?" nudging forward I stop my giggles and swallow when his breathes hit my lips.

"I- im June."

"That's a very pretty name June." smirking my heart beats out of my chest. I blink to make sure he's still there and he very much is.

"I like this." His eyes trail down my green dress that stops above my knee. "You're a very bright soul for this dark place sweetheart."

About to speak Zayn pulls away and places a cigarette between his lips resting against the car beside me. Looking past, Kaden walks back stuffing cash in his pocket.

"June let's go, this place is no good for you." Grabbing my hand he tugs me away from the car and I watch as Zayn's eyes lock on us both walking away.

"I can walk by myself." I try tugging my hand away but he pulls me closer.

"Dont do this. Don't make me yell at you I hate doing it." Kissing the top of my head he yanks me down the crunching gravel from our shoes.

Looking back once more, Zayn eyes me in complete alert.

Parting his lips of the cigarette white smoke blows into the air as he clutches his fists.

-chapter 3

"Charlie Mae open this door." I bang my fists against her apartment door as loud and annoyingly as I possibly can.

The door suddenly rips open revealing Mae in her sleeping shorts and a black bra. Her hair is completely a mess and my jaw drops.

"Mae is nearly midday." Laughing, she pulls on my arm into her studio apartment.

Placing a finger against her lips she cries in tiredness, "It's 12 pm and I have a raging hangover. Please shush." She begs and walks into her bedroom tumbling back into her white sheets hugging herself like a taco.

"Oh come on, again?" I jump on the bed pulling the covers over my body and pull right up to her face in a whispering tone.

"What did you do last night?"

She parts her lips weakly, clearly unhappy I'm asking questions. "Club, drank, fucked, feel like death." muttering her eyes shut her breaths come out at a clear pace signalling she's asleep.

"I'm glad one of us has their fun." Kissing Mae's forehead I turn on my side about to shut my eyes when a text from Kaden pops up on my phone.

Going to check out houses in Italy this weekend on a business trip. Will miss you.

I sigh to myself and look at Mae. I don't want to leave. It was never what I wanted.

Shutting my phone off I stare at the ceiling thinking about Zayn. How his black messy hair was pulled off of his face so perfectly. His warm smile when we locked eyes and the coolness of his body language.

Something about him makes me want to see him again.

I feel like an awful person.

-

It's 6 pm and Mae woke up about an hour ago. I watched her make this god awful green juice that she choked down. Apparently, it cleanses her ora. While she drank she placed her new crystals in a small jar and sat them in the centre of her wood table.

Keeps the negative spirits away and she claims it's positive energy.

I aspire to be her level of chill.

"Can I ask you a question?" I say as she cleans her kitchen table. Standing taller she leans over the table lifting her eyebrows.

"Shoot me."

Shifting on my seat I twiddle my small fingers together brushing over the light pink nail polish. "I went somewhere last night with Kaden-"

"Oh enough with that fucker. Saying his name forms bile in my throat. I don't understand how you stand him, he's awful to you."

She's begged me to leave him but I physically can't.

Besides, he's nice when we're alone together. I like the happy version of him.

He loves me.

"Kaden took me to a street race thing for him to gamble and there was this boy." That's what catches her attention. Dropping the rag in her hand she runs over to the seat opposite of mine dropping her body.

"Was he a racer?" Her face edges forward and when I nod she squeals deafeningly and I cover her mouth with my hand.

"Look let me just vent." She nods quickly.

"He wouldn't stop staring at me and then Kaden walked over with me to congratulate him. He still wouldn't stop eyeing me and I felt all the air around me was sucked away. anyways when Kaden went to go collect his money we talked and I can't get him out of my head. I'm an awful person for thinking this way when I'm in a relationship-"

Gripping my wrist she pulls my hand down eyeing me hardly. "Bestie, I'm afraid to tell you this but I don't care what I have to do. We're going to that damn race tonight."

I pull my arm away standing off the chair. "Mae, no I am not."

"You just said you couldn't stop thinking about him, we're going back." matching my stance I start to freak. If Kaden knows I went back there he'll have my head.

Looking to the door and back to Mae she tilts her head in warning.

"Don't you dare-"

In slick movement, I take off on my heels for the door but my hips are pulled back and suddenly I'm on the floor with a body above me. "get off of me." Frailing my hands to her shoulders to get her off she pins my hands above my head. Blowing a huff of air, my blonde lock that escaped my ponytail flies out of my face.

"June Elizabeth Davis, one of these days you are going to thank me for what I'm about to do." shifting my hips she sits on my torso pinning me completely and I exhale as my lungs constrict.

"We're going to that damn race and we're looking pretty."

...

As the hour's tick by, we start getting ready and she presents outfits to me. "Okay how about this?" she holds a black silk dress to my vision and I shake my head.

"I am not wearing that but go ahead for yourself." Frowning she rolls her eyes and begins to strip. Once her clothes are removed she pulls the black dress up her body and it sticks to every inch of her curves tightly.

"Hot." Is all I say and she claps her hands to her sides. She's a beautiful woman.

"Well what about you miss floral." Looking down at my yellow flower summer dress I smile.

"What else do you think I'm going to wear?" anything with flowers can have my credit card.

In awe, she walks towards me and pulls on my hand lightly. If she pressed any harder the bruises I covered from last night would've made me squirm but she's always so gentle.

"I expected nothing less. Ready my love?" the jingling of her car keys sound through the room and hooks are arms stepping into the hallway.

"I'm going to make a fool out of myself, I just know." Mumbling we take off to the elevator.

-

Pulling up to the race she parks next to the light and we make our way out of the car. Looking around it feels different that I'm not with someone I tread around with my every move.

The air seems clear.

As we walk to the bleachers we bypass the crowd that has gotten bigger since yesterday. I'm guessing because it's a Friday.

Hitting someone's shoulder by accident I stop turning around, "im sorry, im sorry." I yell a beg to the blonde body that doesn't care.

"I feel so bad." frowning to myself Mae wraps her hand in mine and pulls us away.

"You're too nice, I aspire to be you. I couldn't give a shit about any other than myself and you."

Standing at the edge of the bleachers we walk past rows and rows of black outfits. Of course, leaving me to be the different one in the crowd.

I hate when people stare. I feel like they can read me like an open book. Plopping down in the same seat as yesterday I lock my eyes on the cars below and notice Zayn's green one isn't there.

"He's not here." I bite my cheek as Mae checks her phone.

"Love, there's ten more minutes left, the big boys are always late." Just like she said in the next minute I watch his green car zoom to the starting line. Braking quickly dust flies around his car eloping it in disguise and the crowd begins to scream. The gravel crunches under the tires and I stare at the car watching his body slowly climb out of the car.

He's so beautiful.

Suddenly a thought pops in my mind and I turn to Mae slapping her legs. "Ouch, fu-"

"He's going to think I'm stalking him," I whisper shout and out of all things she laughs aggressively holding her side.

Slouching from her reaction she pulls me into her side rubbing my shoulders. "Just like I said you're too sweet for this world. He's not going to think that."

"Oh god." I hide the red of my cheeks into her body but she pulls my arms back squeezing my cheeks.

"June your dick boyfriends in Italy do what you want for once."

Biting my cheek I look away shyly to the green car to see him perched on the side with his cigarette between his lips staring at me with a smirk.

All the air becomes robbed of my lungs when he winks to me.

Watching him step away into his car the crowd cheers once they all step on the pedal speeding down the course through the forest.

After the race, I have no clue where he went off to. The green car of course won but he ran off somewhere.

Sitting on my seat a little sad I turn to Mae who has her eyes locked on a brunette.

"Oh wow." her eyes dilate looking at a brunette boy resting against a black car. His hair is a messy straight hairstyle as he smokes on a cigarette.

"This is very bitchy of me but I'm gonna go talk to him. Go find your boy and text me when you want to leave."

Kissing my cheek I watch her sprint down the bleachers holding her purse. As her shoes touch the ground she rides her dress upwards and fixes her boobs. Covering my mouth with my palm I watch her walk confidently to the boy.

I giggle into my palms from how much love I have for her.  I wish I had the nerve to do that.

After sitting on top of the empty bleachers Mae and the boy walked to a bathroom beside the podium.

She really is quick.

Fiddling with my nails on the stairs my legs grow tired. I think I might go for a walk as I wait.

Standing I carefully climb down. I take my foot making sure each placement is at a slow pace.  I've always been prone to falling down these things.

Reaching the bottom my foot gets caught in one of the holes and my body falls forward.

A hard gasp leaves my lips and I shut my eyes waiting to hit the gravel. Falling a pair of warm hands suddenly wrap around my back and I land into a hard chest. Immediately my own hands wrap around their neck squeezing a black jacket.

Inhaling a thankful breath my foot aches from a sharp pain and I shut my eyes. "Thanks, I'm sorry. Lost my balance." My tone is full of embarrassment and physical pain.

"Sweetheart, you alright?" The voice of the boy I met yesterday rings in my ears and I look up to his frame immediately.

Time seems to stops and I have to remind myself he just spoke to me.

"Yeah, I'm fine." I breathlessly say looking to his eyes that always catch my attention. Looking closer there's a light green speck of colour around his irises.

"Something catch your attention?" Winding my body to stand on the bleachers he never lets go and stares at me with a grin.

"Your eyes are very pretty." I giggle with my hands around his neck still. Zayn's hands move to my waist of my yellow dress pulling me closer.

"And what might you be doing here tonight?" his eyebrows raise and my face grows red. Tilting my head down in a weak smile, his finger on my chin lifts my gaze to him.

"Tell me I'm wrong but did sweet June miss me?" Zayn leans forward and my body runs frozen as a small inhale clenches my lungs.

"I wanted to see you again." My chest raises up and down from how close he's gotten and still holds me up with his two hands.

"That just made my night sweetheart."

Letting my body go so I can rest my weight on my foot I move my hands to his shoulders to stand myself. Placing pressure a sharp pain races through my body causing my leg to buckle.

"Ah- Ouch." I cry lifting up my hurt foot and Zayn's hands go to my elbows, holding up my bent body.

"Fuck I think you hurt your ankle, c'mere." tracing his hands down my body he lifts me up bridal style. Hitting his chest from the acceleration he caries me effortlessly down the gravel.

"Are you sure this is necessary? I'm sure I can walk on it." I wrap my hands around his neck and he shakes his head.

"Just let me take a look at it."

Speaking full of worry I roll my eyes slightly which causes him to stop.

"Did you just roll your eyes?" He says holding me closer and I begin to laugh shaking my head.

"No, no I didn't not." my hands grip the leather jacket around his neck.

"You're lucky I like you." His face remains hard as he carries me throughout the crowd. Judgemental looks from others stare and I turn my head away.

Leaning down he places my body on the hood of his car. Trapping me in with his hands I press mine to his forearm, readjusting myself so I'm steady.

Pushing my bum back I release my hands from his strong arms and he stares deeply into me.

"Who are you?" He whispers barely audible.

"Well, I'm June." Scrunching my face in a giggle, Zayn chuckles pulling away.

Placing his hands on my leg he lifts it up gently. "I'm just going to look alright."

Wrapping his hands lightly around my ankle I hiss back from the touch. "That hurt." I frown trying to pull my leg away but he brings it right back to his stare. Tracing his fingers around the spot he parts his lips.

"It's not broken but definitely a mild sprain. I'll have to wrap it up."

My eyes widen. "Wrap it up? Zayn I think that's a little much-"

"June do you want this to get worse?" I sink my hips to the green paint.

"No."

He smiles cockily in victory. "Come with me." before I can blink Zayn lifts me up again and I wrap my arms around his neck. Landing into his chest with a thud, wasting no time he walks off down the road.

The bottom of his black shoes crush the gravel below I take time to roam my eyes over his face. The light stubble of his beard and the tiny silver hoops in his ears. Trying to stop my body I cant and I press my hands to his hair brushing it back.

"How old are you?" I ask to his face that has been staring at me this whole time.

"24 you?"

"23."

Straightening my back I look behind us as he continues down the road. "Are you kidnapping? Should I be scared?"

Looking at me with a complete snicker we appear to a small wooden shack to the side of the racing road. "Zayn?" I giggle and he sets me down on the wooden stairs.

"There's medical stuff inside, I'll be right back."

Walking up the stairs he opens the door with a creek and disappears.

Looking to the dark road in front, my eyes train on the forest next to me and I just breathe contently. I wonder what the race track is like in there... maybe it's just a road.

I've always been a happy person. I can't help it, it makes me feel full of light like the flowers in the fields that grow from it. I find it's better to be happy than anything else. Any other emotion is just to exhausting for my life.

The door creaks once more and I look to Zayn with one of those ankle bandages in his hand. Walking around my frame he bends down and slips his hand to my leg raising it.

With his hand to my injured foot he sips off my shoe.

"I think this is a little too soon." I tease and he places my small white vans to the side. My matching yellow socks reveal themselves and when I flex my foot playfully he smiles widely.

He should smile more often.

"I like your dress," he says, beginning to straighten out the bandage.

"You really think so? Everyone around here was eyeing me because of it."

Staring at me from below he shakes his head firmly. "You took them by surprise. Like I said we don't get that man people with your soul around here, you look beautiful."

My heart beats out of my chest from his simple words and lacing the bandage around my foot tightly I hiss from the touch.

"Be nicer that hurts."

Releasing his hold just a bit, the bandage loops carefully around my foot. "Sorry, I'm not used to being so gentle." whispering delicately I can't help but stare into his beautiful frame and butterflies flutter in my stomach.

"So you like flowers?" he asks cutting through the quiet, eyeing my dress up and down with another smile. "Yesterday you wore a similar dress with that flower pattern."

In observation he taps his hand on my thigh tracing the flower pattern of my dress.

"I've always loved flowers, they're my favourite thing. I work at a floral shop too."

Tightening the bandage on my foot for the last time I gasp and my body jumps upwards.

"There. all done."

Taking my white shoe he slips it back on my foot carefully. My foot takes some getting used to but it sits comfortably. Re tying the laces in a bow he takes a seat beside me.

"Thanks for being gentle!" I laugh turning my body to face him. Resting my back on the railing of the steps Zayn slides closer pressing his elbows to his knees turning his head watching me.

"So you work at a flower shop?"

"Yeah, it's downtown called petal. It's on a relatively plain street but the doors are full of pink flowers. It's quite the scene." I giggle from the nature of that statement. All of the doors on the street are rock and there's little to no light in the night except for the bright colours from our shop. "It smells heavenly too. "

Zayn smiles gracefully and I find myself in a trance from the small gesture. "How often do you work?"

"Weekdays I get the weekends off which is nice. What about you? This is certainly a well-paying job and you got everyone fangirling over you."

Zayn shakes his head and looks at the road. "More than well paying. And I could care less about the people, I do this for me. It's a total rush."

Watching his side profile as he speaks my eyes trace to his hands covered in thick silver rings.

"What about you? Do you like the rush?" He asks and I bite my lip looking into the darkness.

"Always wanted to experience it but I have yet to. Just not allowed." I say the last part quietly brushing my dress out when his hand falls on mine stopping the movements.

Looking up he eyes me hard. "June I didn't like how your boyfriend was touching you yesterday." Zayn's voice grows in anger and I try to pull my hand back but he doesn't let go.

"This isn't something I'd like to talk about."

"If he ever lays a hand on you like ever again I'm not keeping to myself."  swallowing down my dry throat terrified thoughts roll through my mind and I shake my head.

"Please don't do that you don't understand." I plead and his face tilts to the side.

"Understand what?"

"Just stop it Zayn." I scrunch my face and he lightens his tone.

"I'm sorry June I'll let it go but I mean what I said. No one should treat you like that."

Looking up to his eyes I know that he's telling the truth but why does he even care?

Kaden loves me, is all I can repeat to myself. He's the one person that loves me in this messed-up world.

My phone vibrates in my pocket disrupting the quiet and I take it out. Placing it to my ear the caller ID reads Mae.

"Mae are you alright?" Zayn looks to me in alert but I brush my hand in the air.

"I'm going over to Louis's house tonight. If you don't have a ride you can take my car."

My shoulders slump and I press my hand to my temple. Im an awful driver. "Well, where are you going are you sure you'll be alright?"

"Oh trust me I'll be alright. He is the man of my dreams. But do you have a ride home or not?" Looking at Zayn he nods his head at me and I tilt my head pressing the phone away from my ear.

"What?"

"I'll take you home." Zayn stands from the seat and my eyes go wide. How did he hear that?

"No Zayn I-" Scrunching my eyes he interrupts. "Not up for discussion flower girl, let's go."

Inhaling a small breath I put the phone back on my ears. "Well that was very cute, I guess you do have a ride with Mr big time, have fun!" She hangs up the call and I lock my eyes on Zayn.

"You don't need to do this."

"We're in the middle of nowhere and it will make me feel better knowing you got home safe." Reaching his hand out for mine I place it in his palm and feel the coldness of his rings on my skin. Standing me to my feet I scrunch my face a little in discomfort getting used to the tightness on my foot.

"Here." he reaches his arm out for me to grab and I lace my hands around his forearm.

"Thank you!"

My dress blows back in the wind as we walk to his car slowly. Getting to his green car he opens the door for me and helps me in. Grabbing his arm tightly as I sink to the bottom as he watches my every move.

Once I'm comfortable he leans forward. Our lips are inches apart and his eyes lock on my lips. "you alright in here?"

I swallow yelling at myself that I got into this situation. "yes I'm alright."

Pulling away Zayn closes the door with a huge smile that drops when he turns to the public. Climbing into his side the jingle of the keys stick into the ignition and the car roars to a start. The vibration hits my body and I can feel it through every inch of my viens. "Woah." Is all I can say looking through the dark interior.

This is awesome and I can't help but exhale loudly. "I'm in a race car."

"Hey, June?" He questions in thought and I look back at him smiling, "Yes?"

"You know how you said you wanted to experience shit?" He furrows his eyebrows in deep thought that makes me giggle. He's so serious.

"Yes, I do actually." Dropping his face in complete excitement I see the wheels turning in his brain.

"Well sweetheart, you're driving us home."

#zayn zaynmalik fanfiction Harrystyles Niallhoran Liampayne Louistomlinson niall liam harry louis gigi gigihadid gigiandzayn

[theravencawsatmidnight]

Them Video Games pt2

A very special Non Fandom fic that i care deeply about. I wrote this a few years ago around E3 Time and ive since rewrote it and turned it into a fic with Suna. But this is the rewrite and the one i adore. Part 2 because its still too long . (Its 11k words) so maybe one more part? This part ends on a cliffanger oops

@squeaky-ducky @galagcica

W! Nsfw. Incest slightly. Body image issues.One slur

Kiki was dressed in her Converse and blue thigh highs, her skirt was blue and she had on a ps4 shirt. She also had a little pink messenger bag with controller buttons all over it . Toshi did not live to far surprisingly. They actually have to pass his house to get to school. She also brought some money with her to pay for the controller. It was not much but.. it was a start to buying a new one. Was he really upset? He seemed it.. maybe she could show him the strategy videos she liked.

The house was coming into view and also the black Mazda. Kiki pulled her bag close going up to the door knocking lightly. She looked around while she waited. It was a small house nothing to fancy. She jumped when the door opened.

Toshi smiled leaning on the door looking down at her. Cute. Super cute.

He was wearing blue pj bottoms and a black tank top, his arm was bandaged along with his shoulder and chest.

“Ohayo” he said.

“Uh!!! Ko..ni..no wait that's afternoon ..” she rubbed her face and Toshi laughed pulling her in and closing the door.

“Adorable. Well cmon” he walked down the hall and Kiki hurried after him. “ uh .. Toshi!” She said.

He looked back and opened his door going in, Kiki followed opening her bag getting the money , she held her hand out to give him the money but she froze when she saw his room. Amazing.. was an understatement.

He had shelves on his walls. One was full of figures , another had certain video games in special protective cases and the last case had trophies on it. All gold trophies it looked like. Some said ‘Champion’ and some said ‘E3 finalist Winner’ , one said ’Nintendo E3 Winner’. His tv was huge.. it sat on a corner desk that fit right into the corner , it had a shiny Ps4 system tucked into it nicely and a pink Switch next to it. There was also some gaming posters scattered around the room. His bed was very big and mostly black with what looked like japanese symbols on it. He had multiple controllers docked , all different colors sitting on his desk. On the desk was also the controller in half ..a special edition blue one.

Toshi smirked when he saw her looking all around his room with the money in her hand. He tapped her head and she jumped looking at him. “Here! It's not enough to cover it but i can get the rest if i do chores soo..”

Toshi took the money and put it back in her bag startling her. “I don't need it, i'm not replacing it.”

“Wah? Why not ? It's the special edition?!?”

“Well i wanna have a reminder of when i got my ass handed to me in Overwatch” he chuckled ruffling her hair and grabbing a controller. “Show me these strategy videos Mishiko” he sat down on the floor , his back to his bed.

Kiki sat down next to him putting her bag next to her. The Ps4 turned on and Kiki’s heart jumped.

“You have the same theme as me!!!!” She pointed at the NieR theme, the music sending chills up her back. He smirked rubbing his bandages. “Well how about that.” He handed her the controller after opening YouTube. The videos that showed up were… mostly video game walkthroughs or Top 10 mixed in with music playlists. Kiki typed the video in and put the controller down after hitting play. She didn't skip the ad though.

“ you dont skip ads?” He leaned forward to skip it and Kiki jumped up grabbing his arm to stop him.

“No no! I dont skip if i like the guy!” She whined sitting on her knees holding. Toshi felt a smile come across his face when she grabbed onto him. He pulled her between his legs holding her in place. Kiki struggled whining and Toshi let go , the video started and she looked back , her cheeks flushed .

“Sorry Mishiko .” He held his arms up. She wiggled around, she could hear the video too. “Is it okay .. if I sit here? I dont know if you have a girlfriend i …”

He pulled her back wrapping his arms around her again. “Nope, so what do you like about this guy?” He gestured to the tv.

“Well uh.. hes funny. Most strategy videos is just long lectures and he makes it fun” her eyes wandered to his bandaged arm . She saw something black it looked like under them. Could he feel her heartbeat? She was so surprised by him grabbing her like this. He smelled nice too.. a nice leather scent lingered around his neck , it was a mix of cherries to.. must be his shampoo.

Toshi could see she was nervous in his arms, she seemed a little shaky and her knees were up. He laid his chin on her shoulder watching the video and he felt her pulse pick up.

“Uh.. Toshi?”

“Hm?” He was watching the video.

“Are you angry about the controller . I feel really bad.”

“Nope. I already told you Mishiko, don't worry about it”

“Okay.. those trophies ? You've been to E3?”

“I go every year. Free ride”

“Really?!?” She peeled his arms off her turning around to look at him and Toshi sat up straight laying his arms on his knees. “Indeed. Little neko” he smiled.

Kiki felt her cheeks flush red. Neko?. She looked all around trying to hide her embarrassment and Toshi dipped his head chuckling at her.

“Wanna go with me this year?” He teased.

“Uh YES! But .. I don't know if Max would let me.. and you probably have someone else you wanna take “

“ i dont see anyone else here with me” he said rubbing his bandages growing irritated. Toshi pulled his shirt off getting up grab a container off his dresser and sitting back down. Kiki sat criss cross trying not to look..

he pulled his bandages off revealing a black japanese tribal tattoo. “Wanna help me put this on my ink? It itches.”

Kiki held her hands out without realizing it , the container dropped in her hands and Toshi dipped two fingers in and applied it to his arm. Kiki scooted a little closer watching him. He looked a little relieved when he applied the medicine. Slowly Kiki dipped her fingers in to the cold liquid and rubbed it on his upper chest. Toshi smiled at her applying more to his arm , he watched her shaking hand travel all around his chest all over his tattoo. She was tiny to him , never really saw her around school either.

“Hey” he said.

Kiki finished with the medicine looking up.

“Yeah?”

“ I never saw you around school , where do you hang out ? “

“Oh.. “ she pulled her bag close hugging it “nowhere.. I just rush to the next class.. I dont . .. besides Max and Adam i have no friends. Everyone in my class calls me a hermit”

Toshi furrowed his brow listening to her . What the fuck. “Well thats a fucking awful thing to say to someone.” He petted her head .

“I just want one friend heh.. I guess maybe next year.”

Toshi pulled her to him squeezing her for a long while. Kiki whined struggling in his grip , eventually she gave in and hugged him back.

“Your pretty cool, here, show me what you can do” he grabbed his controller giving her it. She did not take it, instead she just looked down at his chest. Toshi rubbed her back. “Oh cmon, yosh yosh..” he rubbed more and tipped her chin up. “ little neko.” He kissed her forehead making Kiki get very red in the face.

“Uh!!” She panicked pushing back and he let go of her.

“Mishiko you are awesome. Your into cool things. Don't let those losers get to you. I dont” he switched to a game looking at the tv. “You know how many people still call me a Jap?”

“No..” she sat down between his legs picking up another controller turning it on joining his game.

“Sucks, but who cares.” He laid his chin on her shoulder.

“Do you.. wanna make bets?” She asked playing.

“Ouuu yosh.”

They laughed . “ if i win i get to keep your thigh highs”. He said . Kiki looked back at him for a second then back at the tv.

“Okayy..” she giggled . “If i win .. I want another kiss.. please.”

He nuzzled into her neck smiling.

“Deal”

The gaming got very heated between the two. Kiki got out from Toshi’s grip standing up on her knees to play and Toshi stood up to sit on his bed leaning forward. They yelled at each other and the screen, it was Street Fighter. They both had one loss and this match would decide who won.

“COME ON!!!” She yelled button mashing.

“GIVE UP KIKI” he grinned watching his special bar inch closer till it shined . He grinned activating it and it was all over in a matter of seconds. Toshi won and Kiki gently placed the controller down watching the screen. Her character was on the ground , she lost.

She looked back to see Toshi putting his controller down and leaning back on his arms smirking. He saw her sad face and gestured his fingers for her to come over. “ awwww c'mon , now i feel bad. C'mere little neko”

Kiki got up coming over looking all around, she held her shirt once she got between his legs. Tohi was a tall boy , maybe an even 6’ . His hair was black and long , hanging just above his eyes. “How.. uh. Should i just take em off?” She asked a little lost.

“Mm nope. Can i take them off you?” He asked leaning forward looking up at her smiling.

“I .. I guess so . Why do you want them though?” She asked curious.

Toshi smiled extending his hand to her left thigh, gently he wrapped his hand around the back of it squeezing gently. Kiki shuffled her knees around and covered her face. She was all tingly between her thighs and her heart fluttered around.

“Well i'm into it. What are you into hmm?” He asked gently moving his hand down her thigh to her leg. Taking her thigh high with him.

She thought it over for a minute. What was she into? She never really thought about it too much. She lifted her foot and Toshi slid her thigh high off, he squeezed it and then gripped her other thigh repeating the process.

“I never.. really thought about it i guess. “ she finally answered. Toshi frowned as he slid her thigh high down. She stepped out of it and he placed it with the other.

“Never had a boyfriend to figure it out with?” He asked poking her stomach. Kiki wiggled feeling a little embarrassed.

I guess this is a little too much for her, he thought.

“Mishiko you want that kiss?”

“But i didn't win?”

“ ah well.. I want to kiss as well, so ill let it slide, after that we can do whatever you want. “

“You do? Why?”

“Well you were yelling at me during Street Fighter. You should see these guys i beat at tourneys. They get so angry but just walk away. Maybe it's a turn on for me. Maybe i wanna be your first kiss. Maybe i think your cute and i like you. One things for sure though Mishiko, you're the coolest gamer girl i've ever met”

Kiki hid behind her hands whining loud.

“stoppp .. it's embarrassing. Im sure theres lots of hot juniors at school”

Toshi reached up moving her hands from her face and grabbed her hips pulling her close to him and sat her down on his right thigh.

“Trust me. There's not.” He kissed her gently and lovingly. Kiki jumped stumbling and Toshi held her hips firmly . Her heart jumped when his lips touched her, she had no idea what to do with her hands so she just held his face trying her best to kiss him back.

Toshi broke away after a minute while squeezing her hips smiling at her red face. Kiki’s hands slowly fell from his face to her chest holding it. “Uhm.. it was nice.. “ she spoke softly.

“Yes it was, what would you like to do now? My plan was to keep you till Max started blowing up my phone.”

Kiki wiggled and leaned on Toshi closing her eyes and Toshi smirked wrapping an arm around her laying back, his other hand behind his head .

“..Toshi?”

“Hm?”

“Ill convince Max to let me go with you.”

He pet her head . “Sounds good little neko”

The two were still laying in bed , Kiki was on top of Toshi , she was pretty sure he could hear her heartbeat. This was all new to her. .. it all happened so fast too. There's no way Max would approve of any of this though. Its crazy how.. she never noticed him at school before, to busy keeping her head down avoiding everything. Toshi had asked her what she was into to. What did he mean though?

She peaked up to see Toshi holding his phone up above his face browsing. He looked down smiling at her.

“Yes ?”

“ what did you mean.. when you asked what im into? Do you have an example?”

Toshi smirked turning his phone to her and Kiki shyly sat up on Toshi’s lap . She rubbed her eye with one hand and took the phone with the other looking at the screen. She jumped and Toshi enjoyed the little hump she did on him.

.”its a .. very lewd catgirl” she said, her face red.

“Yep” smirked the happy man. “What's she got on?”

“Uhm.. fake paws.. ears..tail.. thigh highs and a t shirt” she looked over at her thigh highs that were laying on the bed then at Toshi.

“So it like.. makes you happy?”

“More ways then one. Swipe left”

Kiki swiped and saw a drawing of the same cat girl but she did not have the shirt on, instead she had a collar attached to a leash, she was sitting next to a man but she was on the floor.

“So.. the Master stuff?” She asked looking closer and Toshi shot up wrapping his arms around her back laughing, he took his phone back swiping a few times and showing her a photo of the last picture but it was a cosplay.

“Little neko how do you know what a Master is hm?” He teased her. Kiki wiggled around trying to hide her blushing face in her hands. “Ii.. if im really bored i look up fan fics of game characters and i came across Master stuff…”

“Oh yeah? Did you read it?” He asked rubbing her thigh. Kiki nodded once hiding behind her hands.

“Adorable, look at you.” He teased moving her hands, she was very red and her lip was pouty. Kiki whined looking around fast.

“Can i read it too?” He asked smirking.

“I.. i guess yeah…my phone is in my bag ..”

Toshi leaned down grabbing the bag and Kiki fished out her phone and opened up Safari, she typed and handed Toshi the phone.

While he was reading his phone went off and Toshi glanced over to see the screen. “Max is calling why dont you take it , ill be here”

Kiki agreed taking the phone and quickly getting off of the mans lap going to the hallway. Toshi laid his head back on his pillow reading the fan fic, so shes into the same things as him… interesting.

Kiki was on the phone with her brother.

“Max?”

“Kiki are you ok?”

“Yes why? I.. “

“How long do you plan on staying?”

“I..i dont know. “

“Just make sure its before dinner ok?”

“Okay Max..”

She hung up looking at the phone screen, he had Akali as his background. He also had a ton of text message notifications. Kiki hurried back holding the phone out.

“ hey you've got some texts. And I can only stay for another half hour..”

“Little..neko. Come here” he sounded different to her, more serious ..

Kiki flinched going over and setting the phone on the dresser. Toshi placed her phone next to it and pointed to the floor. “Sit” he ordered.

Kiki immediately felt her cheeks flush red once she heard his words.. it sent tingles all the way to her thighs . Carefully Kiki sat down on her knees by the bed trying to figure out which one she actually let him read. She heard the bed shift behind her , Toshi’s legs were on both sides of her. He gently lowered his left hand to cup her cheek.

Which was it,!! Which one?!? They were all kind of the same but.. they all had this one unique tag. It couldn't have been… the most erotic one was it?!

“This fanfic is quite dirty for such a little neko like you ” He spoke slowly, rubbing his thumb on her cheek. “As a Master im not sure how I should react to it” he gently tipped her chin up so she could see him looking down at her.

“What do you think?” He asked smirking.

Kiki was wet, so very wet. Her thighs were starting to ache and she got slightly dizzy listening to Toshi.

“.. i cant.. be you're Neko without a.. collar”

She knew which one it was now… Toshi had the same attitude as the character in the fanfic. Her favorite one.

“Ill have to get one for my little neko then” he tapped her forehead and stretched groaning.

“Ahh.. been way too long since I last did that.” He teased.

Kiki shot up grabbing her bag and Toshi grabbed her hand. “Woah wheres the fire?” He asked.

“Just hurry up and make fun of me so i can leave..”

She was shaking, she was embarrassed and hot all over. Toshi pulled her over and sat her on his thigh again, he instantly felt her wetness on him. He ignored it for now and hugged her.

“I'm not making fun of you Mishiko, i showed you what i like didnt i? We like the same things.”

“Please.. dont tell Max.” She looked up at him peaking through her hands.

“I won't cutie. But if you're serious about the collar, we can work towards that, id be on board for that”

Kiki shifted around thinking it over, she tried not to look at Toshi since she was embarrassed. Would Max be okay with her dating his friend-wait. He just said the collar stuff.. not that he wanted to date.. he wouldn't want to date her anyway. I mean who would..

Toshi tapped her forehead making her look at his smiling face. She nodded in agreement and Toshi rubbed her thigh. “Well yosh. So you are okay with it then? “

“Yes i am “

He smirked nuzzling his cheek into her neck hugging her tightly. Kiki squeezed him tightly trying to push her feelings aside. This is enough.. it's basically the same thing. She leaned on him just enjoying his embrace, his clean scent, his arms around her. Until her phone buzzed making her groan. Toshi chuckled grabbing it and handing her it. “Boyfriend?” He teased.

She didn't even look at him when she answered him.

“Its Max, my only contacts are Max and Adam so.. no.. hello?” She answered her phone.

Toshi watched her while she talked , oh shit .. so she really is just all alone. Does Max not try to get her to socialize? A sophomore with no friends? Not one goddamn friend?

He pulled her hips closer to him and Kiki almost fumbled her words . She mouthed “what are you doing?!?” To him and he just winked at her.

Kiki blushed a bright red as she talked.

“Okay.. okay.. yes Max.. ok im on my wa-“

He lifted her up and sat her down again with both legs on the side of him , Kiki put her free hand between her thighs holding her skirt down and Toshi nuzzled her cheek chuckling ,he rubbed her thighs while he listened to the conversation.

“Im on my way home..”

Toshi spread his legs a bit and Kiki was losing balance, she couldn't hold onto her skirt and Toshi with one hand…

“Okay well if you don't hurry ill hide all the HDMI cords Kiki” Max said.

“WHAT NO. MAX!” She was falling , Kiki whined grabbing onto Toshi digging her nails into his shirt. Toshi looked down to see her skirt bunched up over her thighs and her panties nearly visible.

“MAX PLEASE DON'T I NEED -“ she felt rubbing on her inner thigh. Kiki’s head shot down to look to see Toshi’s bony hand slipping under her skirt, the sensation she was feeling was unlike any other. She felt her head get foggy and her midsection ached, if she stretched it would have felt euphoric .

“Well then hurry up.” Max said hanging up, Kiki dropped her phone on the bed and Toshi laid back moving her forward to his chest.

“Can you spare five minutes little neko?”

“ just WHAT did you think you were doing?!? What if he caught on? If he heard you?!? He would have killed me! Toshi are you listening?”

Toshi lifted Kiki up with ease bringing her closer to his face, he clicked his teeth when he remembered she still had her panties on, oh well.

“I'm listening Mishiko i promise. but its fun to be a little dangerous. “ his thumbs grabbed her skirt till he had a good grip and carefully he yanked the skirt up revealing her panties , doing his best not to drop her in the process.

Her panties were … D.VA panties. He looked up at her and Kiki had her hands covering her face.

“Dont laugh!!!!” She whined .

“Why would i laugh? I've got Junkrat boxers on”

He rubbed the little wet spot on her panties with his thumb, Toshi watched her wiggle from it and dug his thumb into the side of her panties moving them to the side. Kiki felt a slight chill , she moved her hands away to see Toshi lowering her down.

“Wait Toshi!!!”

“Itedakimas!” He sat her on his face and started licking at her folds . Kiki could not hold in her laugh , she leaned on the wall laughing , she held his head with one hand, her other on the wall. Toshi was laughing aswell , trying his best to lick in a steady pace.

“You… i cant.. belieeeve…” she moaned with each lick. She felt his other hand part her folds so he could dig his tongue in deeper , Kiki was panting into the wall feeling very flustered and hot. Her whole body was crying for more, her thighs were shaking and her juices were dripping down them.

Toshi felt her clench around his tongue and pulled away to lick at her clit sending Kiki over the edge, she let out a loud moan and Toshi smiled gently nipping her thigh. “Cum for me little neko” he whispered.

Kiki came hard falling forward twitching. Toshi licked her clean and pulled her skirt back down sitting her next to him. Kiki laid there coming down from her high, Toshi snuggled her close petting her head.

“You .. really said..”

“I did”

“ it was hilarious.” She managed a weak laugh. Toshi laughed and the two cuddled, ignoring her buzzing phone.

The two were in Toshi’s car sitting outside Kiki’s home, Max was leaning on the door looking .. angry was not the right word. Kiki figured her playstation was unplugged and locked up somewhere . She undid her seatbelt and Toshi grabbed her phone putting his number in it . “There, you can text me whenever Mishiko, don't matter what time it is.” He plopped her phone on her lap.

Kiki put the phone in her bag then looked at Toshi.

“ but you had a lot of messages on your phone..”

“Yeah its just Gina and Kera , no one important. But , Mishiko?”

“Huh? Yes?”

“Have i done anything today that bothered you? I want to make sure you consent to everything. Im probably going to ask you about the collar stuff again too”

She gripped her skirt thinking it over, her knees rubbing together. Her body felt tired from the orgasm , like she was really heavy and shaky.

“Everything was nice Toshi. I'm just sorry im so .. inexperienced..”

“Nani? Oh Mishiko. That's okay , i like to teach. “

“I.. I wanna hang out again. But Max looks like hes putting me under house arrest.”

Toshi looked out his window to see Max still leaning on the door. He looked back at the girl.

“Ill convince him Mishiko. Bring your favorite movie and snacks okay? We can have a nice soft night.”

She blushed nodding and getting out.

She wanted to ask something but…

Gently she closed the door and waved once she got to Max. Toshi waved driving away and Max stared down at her.

Kiki put her bag on the couch turning to Max, he sighed hugging her tightly. Ah.. so he was not mad. Just worried.. Kiki whined when he hugged her to tight.

“You're okay?” He leaned down cupping her face.

“Yes Max” she wiggled around

“Why didn't you answer?”

“I was in the bathroom.. and Toshi was playing Tomb Raider..”

He squeezed her for a long time .

”uhm.. im hungry Max”

He let go and the two went to go eat dinner.

Toshi was home lying on his bed with one hand in his sweatpants and the other holding the thigh highs.

Max had not unplugged anything thankfully… everything was where it should be . Kiki sat down on her bed turning on her Ps4 and saw a friend request from Toshi. She accepted and looked through all his trophies, pretty much the same as hers .. maybe a few more than her. Lots of different games, he also had a lot of followers.

She laid down opening Youtube putting on her playlist, she rolled to her stomach just listening.

“Uhhn.. hes so popular it seems like.” Kiki rolled to her side looking at her wall. “Today was… i dont even know”

Kiki woke up the next day around 9 am . She whined feeling her phone buzz next to her , pulling her phone over, flipping it over to see a picture of Catwoman and a text from Toshi.

‘Morning Little Neko. Leave Max to me. And I'll pick you up around 3 okay?”

Kiki rubbed her eyes before replying. “Why do i feel so.. upset..”. She sat up looking at the message . “I want to be .. his girlfriend..” she got off her bed dragging herself to her mirror looking at herself. Kiki was 5’2, c cups, a tiny chub stomach and plump thighs. Her hair was long and brown, down to the middle of her back . She lifted her shirt to look at her stomach and turned to the side to see her back . “He would have said he wanted to be my boyfriend right? “ her shirt fell from her hands. “The.. Master stuff does not mean that ..” she went back to her bed rubbing her eye , grabbing her phone .

‘I don't feel good , can we reschedule?”

Toshi tapped his screen pausing the video he was watching to open Kikis message, he blinked , furrowing his brows and sitting up in bed.

“Mishiko? Are you alright?”

“Have i done something? Did I make you uncomfortable?”

“Dammit what's wrong ..”he asked himself, running his hand through his hair.

“Im fine , I think i need a day to myself. I'll see you monday.”

“Mishiko….” Toshi put his phone down looking at the soft blanket he dug out of his closet , it had D.VA on it .

••

Kiki only really left her room to eat a single piece of toast and to shower. She said good morning to Max too. “Hey kiki, doing anything today?” He asked, reaching over her to get the cereal.

“No, I'm kinda tired. “

Oh no. He looked down at his sister . “Oh yeah? Late night gaming?”

“No, just tired.” She took her toast up to her room , Max heard the door close and he ripped his phone out dialing Toshi.

“ oha-“

“What the fuck did you do.”

“...? Excuse me?”

“Mishiko is being quiet , she's letting me tease her and she's not gushing about games.”

Toshi’s heart was racing. Oh fuck. Fuck. He went too far. God dammit…. fuck….. “i didn't do anything. Max, I never did anything to your sister. “

“You fucking swear Toshi”

“Yes, Max. Fucking hell.”

Max leaned on the counter groaning, pinching the space between his eyes. “Alright.”

The relief Toshi felt was like a weight off his damn shoulders. “Is that all she said.”

“Yes, then went back up to her room.”

Toshi grabbed his controller, turning his PS 4 on and checking his friends. She wasn't on.

“Max i, -“

“Ill let you know if she leaves her room.”

“Okay…”

Max hung up and Toshi squeezed his controller, he grabbed the thigh highs that were still on his bed staring at them. “How could you let this happen. The one nice girl you meet and you take it too far.” He dropped everything on the floor running his hands through his hair. Meanwhile, kiki was curled up in her bed, sniffling.

#ThemVideoGames #oc #oc writing #writing

[justdyingslowly]

1. Name justdyingslowly obviously come on

2. Nationality Australian

3. Age 22

4. Birthday nnnah dont feel like it

5. Zodiac sign (or your primal zodiac sign) Libra/Scorpio cusp

6. Gender wamon

7. Sexuality very very hetero

8. Your looks (add a picture or describe yourself) androgenous

9. What do you/did you study? Psychology (focus on sexology) and art.

10. What’s your current job like?/What job would you like to have? I am disabled you think I can work ha sexologist would be awesome. When I was a kid I wanted to be a fireman but Australias always burning

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11. Your birth order head first

12. How many siblings do you have? 1

13. Do you have good relations with your family? yeah dads finally out of his abusive relationship, nearing age 70 and his emotions and his sexuality are finally opening up for the first time and that makes me SO happy.

14. How many friends do you have? what kind of fucked up question is this.

15. Your relationship status relationshipped. Fiance? got the marriage papers in a drawer somewhere with the car rego but can’t be fucked filling them?

16. What do you look for in a SO? empathetic, mature, calm. Always open to discussion. Prefers to be blunt rather than secretive. Emotional age over 14 (incredibly fucking rare apparently). Puts an importance on context and understanding other views above all else.

17. Do you have a crush? Hellll yeah Crush on my partner and got a crush on a mutual friend of ours who don’t even know hes cute af hehe one day partners gonna accidentally spill the beans and embarrass me coz hes shit with secrets RIP me.

18. When did you have your first kiss? You think I can remember this bullshit? Its not that big a deal

19. Do you prefer serious and meaningful relationships or casual dating/one night stands? One night stand sex almost exclusively sucks. Just. SUCKS. Because neither of you know what the other likes and it ends up being an awkward mix of trying to please yourself while trying to also be considerate.

20. What are your deal breakers? Plugging your ears to anything that feels gross, uncomfortable or disagrees with you. How can you grow as a person without introspection? How can you mold what you think and believe without taking in other arguments and comparing them to your beliefs to see how they stack up? Its pathetic.

-

21. How was your day? cute mutual friend had a fall this morning and were both worried about him. His back is bad and he’s getting a little older, he can’t be getting dizzy and having falls like that. other than that im anxious about seeing my gastro. He’s lovely but... specialists are specialists. Good at knowing what they know but not always great at listening.

22. Favourite food & drink you think im allowed to eat or drink? water and... foods a touchy subject.

23. What position do you sleep in? Usually on my side with a body pillow to grip so I don’t end up choking my partner in his sleep.

24. What was your last dream about? uuhhh...going to italy and being unable to get into this tiny basket boat properly.

25. Your fears does PTSD to medical shit count haha

26. Your dreams ... going to italy and being unable to get into a tiny basket boat thingy?

27. Your goals - get some sort of diagnosis eventually. Its been 3 years of trying and im tired. - get back to studying art part time for my bachelors. - pass JLPT N3. - go back to university for psychology. - do the dishes when I get home.

28. Any pets? two budgies. we also take care of any orphaned or injured birds.

29. What are your hobbies? feeling nauseous drawing writing a little bit im making a little gameboy game in C atm too

30. Any cool places in your area? i live next to a national park with waterfalls and koalas and emus and stuff

31. What was your last awkward situation? mutual friend made a comment on his chest i playfully smacked it (related to the comment) it was surprisingly hard “O-oh wow, thats... I didnt expect that” my partner laughed at me. it was awful.

32. What is your last regret? getting embarrassed at friends pecs stop making me think about it 33. Language/s you can speak english. N4 Japanese.

34. Do you believe in astrological stuff? (Zodiac, tarot, etc.) of course not what the fuck

35. Have any quirks? Quirkless. I do wiggle when im happy though apparently.

36. Your pet peeves open doors.

37. Ideal vacation spend a months chilling in an old japanese house in autumn hokkaido oooooof that sounds nice

38. Any scars? internal? yes

39. What does your last text message say? peepee poopoo ustinky

40. Last 5 things from your search history how do i find this

41. What’s your [device] background? Sam Porter Bridges walkin around Sam Porter Bridges cuddling BB-28 Louise while he sleeps my chicken

42. What do you daydream about? all might

43. Describe your dream home an old japanese house in autumn hokkaido oooooof that sounds nice

44. What’s your religion/Your thought about religion its a comforting thought having a parent-figure who cares about you and looks after all the big things you can’t manage yourself, but institutionalizing it runs a severe risk of becoming harmful cults. And it often does.

45. Your personality type me

46. The most dangerous thing you’ve done i saw the lost bunny that was on all the posters in the neighbourhood looked thin and patchy so i grabbed him to take him home. im allergic. sent me to hospital and I almost died.

47. Are you happy with your current life? feeling sick sucks and partners having a depressive episode but things are pretty good

48. Some things you’ve tried in your life living

-

49. What does your wardrobe consist of? blacks, reds, whites and pinks

50. Favourite colour to wear? at the moment pink. Red is always comforting though.

51. How would you describe your style? mix between lazy alternative punk, teenager with band shirts and harajuku peach kawaii uwu

52. Are you happy with your current looks? kinda wish i was a bit shorter but what can you do

53. If you could change/add something to your appearance - impossible or not - what would it be? bit shorter

54. Any tattoos or piercings? lol no PTSD

55. Do you get complimented often? by who? partner constantly, family haha are you kidding im australian so a friend’s version of showing affection is calling you a cunt and slapping your ass in public

56. Favourite aesthetic? all might

57. A popular trend that you dislike blocking because you disagree or find them distasteful. Ignoring all context to opposing thoughts and arguments. taking a personal feeling of disgust to mean something is evil. Blocking your ears to anything that isn’t a circlejerk of what you already think - and trying to isolate anyone who even just listens to something other then the noise of your sloppy dicks to have a thought of their own.

-

58. Songs you’re currently obsessed with? The Machine by Low Roar

59. Song you normally wouldn’t admit you like. why wouldnt i admit i like a song

60. Favourite genre? probably enka haha

61. Favourite artist/band/genre? probably enka haha oh and tatsuro yamashita

62. Hated popular songs/artists? why the hell would I hate something like a song? I hate aspects of the music industry as a whole I guess?

63. Put your music on shuffle and list first 5 which playlist they aren’t all together in one place

64. Can you sing or play any instruments? piano, saxophone... uh... partners good at making music and playing shakuhachi

65. Do you like karaoke? no.

66. Own any albums? yes? many?

67. Do you listen to radio? What stations? no. but triple J, ABC Jazz and Classical. sometimes they even play final fantasy and JRPG music on classical which is pretty neat. -

68. Favourite movie/series? can i make this about games because then the answer is Metal Gear Solid

69. Favourite genre of movies/books/etc ...shounen?

70. Your fictional crush/es if they’re over 40yrs old, male and happy and bubbily or grumpy and sad then there’s a big ol fat chance I wanna bone. Solid Snake from MGS4, All Might and pretty much anyone drawn by Tarou Madoromi.

71. Which fictional character is you? uh

72. Are you a shipper? List your otps, if so what does this even mean what language is this

73. Favourite greek god? idk hades seems chill

74. A legend from where you live that you like the story of Tjilbruke is funny and good. all Kaurna stories are good.

75. Do you like art? What’s your favourite work or artist? im in a big egon schiele mood atm.

76. Can you share your other social media? no i am incapable

77. Favourite youtubers? many

78. Favourite platform? not too high up. actually i like being a little lower than ground level in corners.

79. How much time do you spend on the internet? too much

80. What video games have you played? Which one’s your favourite? look i just want to say that MGS4 is the best one in the series and Death Stranding is phenomenally engaging.

81. Your favourite books (manga also counts) these are all so goddamn definitive how can I pick? Oh wait the answer is One Piece

82. Do you play board/card games? I play DnD atm and know 15 yr old rules to Yugioh

83. Have you ever been to a night marathon in cinema? that shit dosn’t happen here

84. Favourite holiday golden week coz its a week also easter because thats when all the glucose based sweets come back

85. Are you into dramas? what kind

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86. Would you use death note, if you had one? no. thats called being a murderer.

87. What changes would you make in the world, no matter how impossible, if you had the power to? chill people out a bit. when people feel unsafe they get really depenfive and territorial and block their ears to everything, making in-and-out groups for themsevles that end up putting them in more harm.

88. Could you survive a zombie apocalypse? im disabled with a disabled partner. we arent funny sure we can survive normal everyday life when society is angled so sharply against us.

89. If you had to be turned into a paranormal being, what would it be? id like to be a mimi spirit

90. What would you want to happen to you after your death? spooky time

91. If you had to change your name, what would be your pick? toshinori yagi

92. Who would you switch your life with for a week? anyone healthy

93. Pick an emoji to be your tattoo that cursed one with the intense eyes and the hand

94. Write 3 things about yourself - only one of them must be true im me im not me im pee

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95. Cold or hot? cold.

96. Be a hero or be a villain? both are distasteful ideas in reality

97. Sing everything you want to say or rhyme? i can’t do either partner speak sin bad puns and its hell, these both sound about equal

98. Shapeshifting or controlling time? shapeshifting. controlling time is eithe rmanipulative or lonely. shapeshifing is every other superpower at once.

99. Be immortal or be immune to everything aside from natural death? both are deeply upsetting ideas

100. ….. or …..? jiji or ossan? generally Jiji, but ossans can be lovely too.

#personal #stupid

[sevensav--d-archived]

@shinsoutm​ sent  💘 DO I EVEN GOTTA SPECIFY

send me 💘 + A SHIP and i’ll tell you...

Under the cut because it’s long.  

A lot of this is from off-blog plotting so consider it a sneak peek~

where they first met and how

Hitoshi walked into class 1A to ‘declare war’ on her class and her first thought was that he looked like Hitoshi but cooler, but she mostly just thought he was a dick.  Admittedly she figured that he’d fit in with her class just fine if he actually made it in.  She was REALLY weary of him at the Sports festival and steered clear of him.  Eventually Itoshi properly introduced them and they got along much better after Hitoshi made his way into the Hero Course.

how long their ‘flirting’ phase was before feelings got involved

It’s hard to say since for them flirting was a sort of???  It wasn’t very obvious from either party.  They wanted to impress each other, and they just became really good friends.  Flirting wasn’t really prevalent in them falling in love.

who fell for who first ( if applicable )

Hmmm.  I feel like it was probably close to being around the same time that feelings got ‘real’ but Nomiko definitely became aware of her initial attraction to him during his fight with Midoriya at the sports festival.  His passion struck her, and she related a lot to what he had to say.  It just kinda got more and more intense from there.

where their first date was and what it was like

This is a point of contention, because they went out so many times platonically as teens and young adults, that by the time they were actually officially a relationship they can’t really decide which ‘date’ was the first one.

who asks who out and how ( with a sign? spelled out on a cake? just a simple ‘will you go out with me’? )

It was sort of an unspoken thing.  One moment, they were simply really close friends and the next they were fully committed to each other.  It literally was like a light switch.  When they got together initially, it was as easy as breathing.

who proposes first

Hitoshi was the proposer!

if they keep / kept their relationship secret or let everyone know right away

Once they were actually a relationship they didn’t have to tell people.  Anyone in their vicinity knew.  Itoshi was the first to know, being their roommate at all.  They’re both not secretive about being together, they’re so proud to be with each other.  THAT BEING SAID, professionally speaking they’re so private about their lives outside of hero work.  Close friends know what their deal is, but the media is still trying to figure out what’s going on.

where the proposal happens and how ( kiss cam at a baseball game? on a hillside surrounded by ducks? at a disney park? )

Hitoshi fully proposed to her in the middle of a fight.  Nomiko laid the dude she was fighting out flat and jumped into Hitoshi’s arms and accepted his proposal.  It was considerably casual (him yelling “marry me!” out to her during the fight) but Nomiko thinks it was the absolute best way to propose to her.

if they adopt any pets together

Of course.  Hitoshi gets a cat (Susan) pretty quickly into his time living with Nomiko and Itoshi and Nomiko took care of it whenever he was gone.  And basically if either of them ever cross strays, they’re coming home.  Hitoshi has more of the knack for fidning them but after a trip home to check on her mom she comes back with a kitten she named Turnip.  (See Mac’s post on this to see their other cats dsk dfg) 

who’s more dominant

I think, generally speaking, Nomiko might come out on top a bit more.  She is more aggressive and dominant across the board in a lot of aspects of their lives.  However, Hitoshi is typically the one who takes charge in relationship matters such as affection.

where their first kiss was and what it was like

It was at a party that their class was throwing.  They had to kiss during a kissing game and Nomiko got really embarrassed and upset that her first kiss was kind of fucked up by having everyone looking at laughing.  Hitoshi tracked her down to make her feel better.  They kissed in her dorm to ‘make up” and Nomiko fully counts that more as her first real kiss.  Not that it matters, it was with him regardless.

if they have any matching couples stuff ( mugs? sweaters? pillowcases? )

Not intentionally.  He has a lot of gear that says Mothman on it (not like... HER mothman, just Mothman in general) and she has some stuff too, plus some underground merch with her name on it.  Also she definitely has some of his merch and sometimes will sleep in an oversized Control Freak shirt.  Also Itoshi definitely secretly made them both sweaters that are identical, but he gave them as gifts for different occaisions and they dont realize it until they accidentally wear them at the same time.

how into pda they are

Nomiko likes to be touching him as much as possible, in some way.  She doesn’t find herself in public as often the more she leans into her career but sometimes after fights that he helps with she will want to kiss behind a dumpster or something.  When they go out for nights on the town it’s a whole new ball game, they are nearly constantly connected in some way.

who holds the umbrella when it rains

Hitoshi, because he is so much taller than she is.  She tries but the rain makes her sleepy......

where their usual ‘date spot’ is ( if applicable )

I think that they keep going back to the same little Cat Cafe for a few years even when they aren’t dating.  But otherwise?  They mostly stick around where they live they’re both pretty fond of being at home.

who’s more protective

It’s a toss up, really.  They’re both very protective of the other.  I think in typical ‘real life’ situations Hitoshi is more protective (like in bars or in public spaces) but if they’re involved in a fight with a villain Nomiko will fight tooth and nail to keep her boy safe.

how long it is before they sleep together ( can be as in ‘had sex’ or as in ‘shared a bed’ )

Before getting together they were roommates and very close friends who are very close with each other.  Even before they were adults sometimes they’d both fall asleep while hanging out with Itoshi in his room.  They both sleep better in the presence of the other, that transcends the nature of their relationship.

if they argue about anything

Sure, sometimes it’s about stupid stuff that’s subjective like which brand of juice is best.  Sometimes she can get upset about him getting himself hurt, or she’ll get a little upset about him leaving for so long.  Whe nhe comes back from his eight years of being ‘dead’ it’s more of a serious thing, where the yargue about his reactivity to situations. 

who leaves more marks ( lipstick, hickeys, scratchmarks etc. )

Hitoshi does.  However, part of that is because with all his tattoos it’s hard to tell just how many marks he’s got on his back and neck.

who steals whose clothes and how often

Nomiko fully integrates 1/3 of his wardrobe into her own wardrobe.  She likes how big and comfy they are, she likes that they smell like him- she just.  She’s a little Hoodie thief.  Most of her relax at-home lounge wear are either clothes that are his or were his when he was younger.  He leant her a hoodie when they were seventeen and she still has it and wears it to bed in the winter.  He’ll take some of her clothes to be funny, but she thinks he looks good in her tiny shirts b/c boy in crop top....  Good shit.

how they cuddle ( spooning? facing each other? )

Nomiko is so small and so easy to move around that the possibilities are endless.  Her favorite is to either nestle into the crook of his arm, or just laying on top of his chest so she can listen to his heartbeat.

what their favourite nonsexual activity is

She likes existing in his presence.  Just sitting with him while they watch television or movies or like.. Playing video games.  Just sitting in his lap while they’re relaxing at home.  He’s a good sport about going out into nature with her too and she loves that.  Also?  Training.  Like.  Fuck, training turned tension?  Hi!  Hello.

how long they stay mad at each other

Nomiko has an angry nature so she can really hang onto anger for a long time, but she can...  Sort of love and be angry at the same time.  When they’re younger she’s rarely TRULY mad at him, but as they get older she makes a point to try not to be around him as much when she’s truly angry because she loves him and she doesn’t want to subject him to her ugly angriness.  She hates being mad at him, it always feels stupid to ever be MAD at him.

what their usual coffee / tea orders are

Nomiko mostly drinks hot drinks and she likes them sweet with a lot of caffeine.  Hitoshi helps her branch out so she can try more things.  And she keeps him from doing gas station coffee with red bull.

if they ever have any children together

Yes!! Yes, they have three kids.  We need to design and name them which is as you all know my favorite thing.  Nomiko saw him interacting with a kid and knew immediately she wanted to have kids with him.

if they have any special pet names for each other

Nomiko calls him her beau when they’re dating, she usually defaults to baby or darlin’ otherwise.  He’s better at actual nicknames.

if they ever split up and / or get back together

They do.  She was under the impression that he died on a mission and he was gone for eight years.  But really, they never turly stopped by way of words.  Even why he came back, it was like... Yeah, we are still together, even if it’s weird and hard and not how we want it to be just now.

what their shared living space is like ( messy? clean? what kind of decor? )

Their initial apartment was a chaotic place since Itoshi lived there and he’s a mess.  Nomiko likes to be tidy and she and Hitoshi don’t have a lot of things between them so their spaces are much more clean.  Nomiko would clean his room even whe nhe wasn’t around.  It made her feel like he wasn’t gone.  Their house is a cozy place, pretty classic and traditional but so personal to them.  It also has a very elaborate and massive cat tree that goes through literally every room of their home.

what their first christmas / hanukkah / etc as a couple was like

Nomiko is not really a holiday person, so she usually works on most Christmases since it’s not really a big deal to her.  As time goes on though and more of her friends have families and after really establishing the fact that Itoshi is also family and by extension any family he has- They start hosting Christmas and Nomiko finally seems to understand how special it can be.

what their names are in each other’s phones

For most of their friendship Nomiko had it set as either his name, or Itoshi changed it to be “Worse Itoshi” and she kept that for awhile.  She’s not very tech savvy so it’s usually something along those lines.  By the time they’re married his name in her phone is just My 💜 And her name in his is probably bug emojis and a silly nickname in his.

if they have any ‘couple traditions’ ( buying a new mug for their collection every year? baking every friday evening? )

Hmmmm....  Nomiko always takes him to that same Cat Cafe whenever he comes back from some time away.  She also pretty much without fail gives him a backrub when he gets home from work.  

who falls asleep first and who wakes up first

These insomniacs?  It’s a race.  Who will fall asleep first?  Who knows.  It is a mystery.  She usually is the one that drops off first and he wakes up earlier.  But she’s usually up pretty quickly after him because she likes to go on runs in the morning.

who’s the big spoon / little spoon

Nomiko was built to be the little spoon.  Look at her.  Look at how little.

who hogs the bathroom

They’re very efficient and probably use the bathroom for its services at the same time.  They definitely take care of showers back to back and use the tub together.  As far as hygiene and grooming habits are they’re both pretty simple.  She doesn’t really do much for her own appearance.

who kills the spiders / takes them outside

Spiders are treated like guests.  If it’s nice outside, it will be brought outside, but honestly Nomiko doesn’t have an issue having them around in the house.

#**shinsoutm tag tbd #**hitoshi/nomiko tag tbd

[bonelesswords]

a study of souls | alex høgh andersen au

Chapter one: Hi, June.

-synopsis -chapter two

Warnings: Language, sexual content, mentions and using of drugs, mentions of a toxic relationships, grammar mistakes (english is not my first language)

Note: This is the first chapter!! It's kinda short but only for now. btw all this introduction is for you to understand the story 😁 tell me what you think hehe. 

  The summer in which everyone forgot my name, was over, the only ones who seemed to remember it were my brother and my grandmother, who called almost every day while I was on vacation to ask how I was. It was my grandma's idea to send me to the other side of the world, thinking that New York could heal a broken heart. I had said that no, that it didn't work like that, that she could send me to Japan, to a desert island, but the only thing I needed to stop thinking about my heart and how broken it was, was time. But she insisted, because she has been stubborn her whole life and she wasn't going to stop now; she sent me to New York, to the house of a friend that she had met in i-don't-know-where, don't-know-when. Who had presented me to his grandson because my grandma had told her in detail how the last person I had fallen in love with, had broken my heart.

I went and I came back, my heart didn't hurt like when I got on the plane, but it still hurt, and the pain scares me.

I would like to say that yes, that grandma was right, and that my heart actually healed after that trip. That I wasn't going to have to deal with insecurities again. I would like to move on with my life as if a man didn't rip a piece of my soul; but it isn't like that.

It still scares me, even if William left to never return, to never see my face again.

I'm afraid of waking up and see his face among the white sheets, laying on my pillow. Sometimes I wake up in the middle of the night, unable to move or speak, but I can see him sitting at the end of my bed, looking at me sideways and whispering that I must not forget him. Until after a few minutes, when I manage to move again, he disappears as if he had never been there.

Forgetting everything that happened is not as easy as throwing away a box with all the memories, it's like burning the box and that it appears every time on your doorstep .

William left and he's not going to come back. I'm sure that there's not a single drop of love for him in my body, but he left me a thousand of insecurities and he took my pride with him. He left me every bad memory, and how they torment during the night, reminding me how he played with me.

So I asked Rory, my brother, and grandma, for time. They didn't understand anything that night that I arrived home crying, they still don't understand everything fully, but they took care of me, and they were there with me every time I couldn't hold the tears anymore. I need time to assimilate things better: I had met William, a man older than me. I liked him and he lied to me saying he liked me too. When his lie went too far he got scared and left. He made sure not to see me anymore not even on the streets. He hurt me way more times that I had said out loud, in places that I still don't know how to describe.

I don't feel sad because he left, I feel sad for what he made with me after that.

But summer ended and autumn began in the city where I was born. In any moment I would get back to the university and perhaps I would make a friend.

It's already dark when I return home, the floor is wet from the rain that fell in the afternoon. The street lights up with orange lights and my nose is red from the cold. The only thing that I hear are the footsteps of my boots against the pavement and distant voices that come from inside of the houses. It's Friday and I feel it on the tip of my nose, when the air brings the smell of the dinner of the last house on the block; mine.

I know that Rory is inside with grandma, since I came back from New York he doesn't do anything else but staying at the house that I share with grandma for dinner, I also know that he feels slightly guilty for getting away from me lately. During our whole lives, ever since mom decided to leave us in charge of grandma, we had always hold on to each other, because we were the only thing we had left. And suddenly, after a long time, he didn't call like he used to anymore, he stopped visiting us like before. He is trying to get things back to the way they were.

When I step on the house, the warmth of the place embraces me, inviting me to take off my coat and my red sweater. From the living room I can hear the drawers opening and closing, the plates crashing and the voice of my grandma. I went inside to the kitchen, where Rory is sitting on a stool, his mouth is full of crumbs and a piece of bread is caught between his teeth. He looks as pale as ever, with messy black hair. Dressed in black from head to toe, he wears the same combat boots as me. Grandma looks at me and smiles in the only way she does when she sees one of her grandchildren.

The three of us sat at the dining table, talking about the day, work  and trivial things.

"The lady who lives two blocks from here stayed twenty minutes talking to me this afternoon." I comment "She told me all the gossip. I don't know why she told them to me, if it is because she has no friend or something, I mean, if she has no friends, how does she know everything?"

"Maybe because she does have friends, but she thinks you don't" Rory replies, shrugging his shoulders. I look at him with narrowed eyes as he takes the fork with food to his mouth. He caught me off guard.

"That's a lie, all my friends are on vacation, they don't come back until the university starts," I explain, for the thousandth time this summer. My friends at the university are not even friends, maybe I have the number of someone because from time to time I ask for the homework, we get along, but nothing else. I wasn't going to admit it out loud.

"Anyway" interrumped grandma "Rory has already told me that he's not staying to drink tea after dinner because he has plans with friends, I guess that we are you and me again, June. You and me and maybe a movie on netflix."

The two of them are mocking me, and suddenly, it makes sense. Both are pushing me to come out tonight. It's true that I don't   have any friends, and the old women that I talk to everyday while I work on the bakery aren't exactly the best company. They know that since William, I'm completely alone except for them.

"Well, I understand, I bother when I stay all day in this house. Maybe I want to stay here with grandma, watching movies until she falls asleep at ten. Unless that you, Rory, have other plans for me"

"It's the birthday of one of my friends, we are going to the pub, you come with me, you meet my friends and maybe you get along with them. I'll take you only if you don't talk about what the old lady told you today and if you drink at least two beers" He tells me and I share glances with grandma, as if I had fifteen and had to ask for permission to go out a friday night.

"I'm twenty one for something, right? To drink at least two beers with my brother. I'll go, but with two conditions" He nods with a smile, while grandma listens to the conversation with amusement."First, there must be at least one girl besides me. Second, if it's necessary, I can talk about politics"

"Don't worry June, that's the two things that i love. Girls and politics"

-

I haven't gone out at night in a long time and the only thing I do while sitting in the passenger seat in my brother's car is thinking if I had dressed well. What a silly thing, I think. I'm wearing light blue jeans and a dark black polo shirt under a yellow sweater. I realize how badly I combine the colors when I look at the yellow converse that I'm wearing

"So... are you friends.. friendly?" I ask and he laughs.

"That's a dumb question"

"And whose birthday is it?"

"Jack's" He says "You dont know him, I met him at the bar a while ago, Alex is the bar owner, along with his brother, his brother is more owner than him, but they both manage it. I'm not very close to Luke, Alex's brother, but he's nice. Jack is twenty four today."

"And what are you going to give him?" he points to the glove box, which is in front of my knees, I open it and I see a fat envelope, I take it out. "What is it?"

"A special edition of his favorite Batman movie, he's going to lose his shit, I'm sure"

I laugh and leave the bag in my lap and I stay silent, the only thing we hear in the car is the radio. It is the only station that doesn't put me in a bad mood and I only listen to it when I'm in Rory's car.

Rory parked on the street in front of the place, which had wooden chairs and tables outside and a row of lights under the roof that covered them. There were a few people outside and a lot inside. I looked at the ceiling of the place, in bright letters it said DUST.

My brother opened the door making sound a bell over our heads, almost inaudible due to the voices of all the people inside the bar. It was hot inside, putting our cheeks red immediately, the same tables that were outside were located all over the place and in the back were four U-shaped couchs with round tables in the middle. The lights of the place were all orange, making the atmosphere warmer than it already was. My brother took my hand and guided me to the back, in the other he had his friend's birthday present.

They all shouted things that I didn't understand when they saw my brother. I was behind him.

"Happy birthday, lad" he said to the guy who was at the end of the couch, a brown haired guy with a lot of tattoos on the arms, hands and some of them in his neck. He smiled at Rory and thanked him. "This is for you" my brother said and gave him his gift.

"What is it?" he asked, examining the paper bag."

"Open it, you idiot" said a redhead girl who was next to him, and for a second, everyone was silent. I felt like a statue in that moment.

Jack broke the paper and when he saw what was inside, his face lighted up and he looked at Rory with bright eyes. "No way, man"

"Nothing can top my gift now" Jack got up to hug him and thanked him again, putting him in a backpack he had on the floor. Rory turned to see me and I raised his eyebrows, indicating that he had forgotten about me for a second.

"Oh, right guys, this is June, my little sister. I brought her today because if she spends another friday night at home she is going to become an old lady. I hope that's not a problem" I looked at them, waving my hand. They smiled.

"That's not a problem" Jack announced "Any sister of Rory is sister of mine" He said and smiled at me, I smiled back. Then Rory brought two chairs to the table and we joined the round.

Everyone started talking animatedly; the round was made up of two guys and three girls. Jack, at the end of the couch, Julia the redhead who called him idiot before was next to him. On her right side was, who had introduced herself, Evangeline, a very pretty brown-eyed brunette, I had stared at her for a few seconds when she told me her name because of how beautiful she was. It seemed like she had just returned from the beach, but it was autumn and the shine of her skin was natural. I wish I could look like that without trying, she didn't seem like she was trying. Beside her, it was Travis, a skinny gray-eyed boy, as pale as paper, who was talking a lot and followed all of Jack's jokes, even though he was almost at the other end of the couch. Next to Travis, was Helena, a platinum blonde with red lips, who hadn't stopped talking with Rory since we arrived. And Rory hadn't stopped talking with her neither. I know when my brother likes someone, he behaves just like high school but I didn't say anything, and I didn't dare to make any jokes about it

Suddenly, a chair is dragged right next to me, in the middle of me and Jack, who was asking me about university with Julia. A man drops into the wooden chair and starts talking.

"I told Matthew that anything that this table orders it's on me. That's my birthday gift." He said with a strange accent to Jack, he turned to me and his blue eyes clashed with mine. Jack thanked him, and I didn't know what to say. Mainly because he had a black eye and several cuts around his face, like on the eyebrow and on his lower lip. I tried to hide my surprise, but he had already noticed. He stared at me, waiting for me to say something, but I didn't.

"Hi Alex" Rory speaks, making his eyes go towards my brother "This is June, my sister, I'm taking her out for a walk"

"Hi Ronald, we are going to take care of her here" He joked and then, looked at me again. "Hi, June, I'm Alex" He gives me a wide smile, almost amused. I instantly realized that despite his bruised face, he was handsome. But like all the boys sitted at the table, like Travis or Jack, but he was handsome anyway, and he has beautiful eyes. He doens't look like the kind of guy I see at university parties surrounded by lots of people, but he looks like the kind of guy the girls turn to see in the hallway.

"Hi Alex" I said, trying to smile at him.

"How old are you, June?" Alex asks.

"Twenty one" He nods, ready to make another question,  His brown hair seems freshly cut and his skin looks slightly tanned, which makes his eyes look bluer than they surely are.

"So why aren't you drinking anything, June?" It catches my attention how he repeats my name several times, as if he were getting used to the sound in his tongue.

I shrug without saying anything. He smiles sideways at me while shaking his head, then stretches his arm behind my back to reach Rory's head, hitting him with the palm of his hand.

"Go get your sister a fucking beer" Rory growled and looked at him annoyed when Alex interrupted their conversation.

"Language." Julia scolds and Alex rolls his eyes amused.

"She can go by herself" Rory replied, I did not say anything.

"Don't be an idiot" he scolded him again and my brother got up from the chair, sighing and going towards the bar.

"I can get my own beer" I said to Alex, he looked at me raising his eyebrows.

"Yeah, you look like someone who can get their own beer, June" he says with the same smile on his face "But Matthew, the barman, doesn't know you and he won't believe you if you say you are with Jack"

"I don't look like someone who would be with Jack?" I say trying to sound offended. Of course I didn't look like someone who was friends with Jack, I looked like someone who stayed to watch a movie on Netflix with grandma on a friday night.

"You look like someone who would be with me" He says and winks at me. Automatically starts a conversation with Jack, and Julia talks about the university again. I'm sure i'm  as red as a tomato.

taglist: (if you want to be in the taglist let me know) 

@youbloodymadgenius 

GIFs not mine, found it on pinterest. 

#alex høgh andersen #alex høgh andersen imagine #alex hogh andersen #alex hoeg andersen #alex høgh #alex høgh andersen fan fiction #alex høgh andersen fanfiction #AHA #AHA fan fiction #AHA fanfiction #ivar the boneless #ivar x reader #ivar imagine #ivar lothbrok #ivar's heathen army #ivar x oc #modern ivar #alex høgh andersen x reader

[purple-verse]

Extremely detailed character sheet for Randall

Template found here

Character Chart

Character’s full name: Randall Gaspar Purpura

Reason or meaning of name: My characters tend to name themselves. When I first designed Randall the name just kinda echoed in my head.

Character’s nickname: I call him Rand. NEVER RANDY. dont do that please.

Reason for nickname: Randall is a long name lmao

Birth date: 12/13/73

Physical appearance

Age:  23

How old does he/she appear: i think Randall looks a lot younger and could probably be mistaken for 17-19. he definitely gets carded whenever buying anything adult.

Weight: 95-100 pounds

Height: 5′3″

Body build: Emaciated but with wide hip bones

Shape of face: rounded heart shape?

Eye color: brown

Glasses or contacts: he needs to wear glasses, but can’t find them.

Skin tone: pale yellowish tan with lots of freckles

Distinguishing marks: freckles, rope burn scars on neck, wrists and ankles, deep scars all over body. he has a tattoo in the middle of his back of an eye

Predominant features: biiiiig nose and shark teeth

Hair color: black with a purple sheen (mostly because of grease)

Type of hair: super curly and fluffy if clean, straight with slight curls when dirty

Hairstyle: usually shoulder length and choppy, but sometimes cuts it shorter or grows it longer.

Voice: i always wanted him to sound like Danny Elfman, but I do his voice acting.

Overall attractiveness: not very. I’d give him a 4 outta 10 maybe? higher if you like weird looking guys

Physical disabilities: ulcers, anemia, jaundice, chipped teeth, scoliosis, a mild muscle twitch and migraines

Usual fashion of dress: over sized sweaters (usually striped), black skinny cut jeans, black converse, knee high socks.

Favorite outfit: blue striped sweater, acid washed grey/black jeans, black low top converse, periwinkle knee high socks.

Jewelry or accessories: he sometimes wears a black necklace with an eye that matches his tattoo design and he wears a small black hoop earring in his right ear.

Personality

Good personality traits: He’s rather smart and clever, he gives pretty good advice, hes very loyal and will go out of his way to do whatever he can for friends.

Bad personality traits: He has anger issues, night terrors, delusions, gets VERY possessive of people he likes, can get violent, has violent alters he can’t control.

Mood character is most often in: if on meds hes usually in a dissociative calm state. off his meds hes quite irritable unless he’s smoking.

Sense of humor: he’ll tell corny jokes or puns sometimes, but has a hard time picking up when others joke with him.

Character’s greatest joy in life: eating pizza while watching a romcom and listening to his favorite music.

Character’s greatest fear: being yelled at

Why? bad childhood

What single event would most throw this character’s life into complete turmoil? uuuuh? i guess going off his meds didnt go great coupled with a new friend and having a crush on someone.

Character is most at ease when: listening to his headphones and writing

Most ill at ease when: people are yelling at him or he has a lot to do in a day

Enraged when: woken up badly, when he thinks the people around him hate him or are ignoring him

Depressed or sad when: being ignored or nothings on tv

Priorities: just getting through life

Life philosophy: reincarnation might be real and he hopes itll be better next time

If granted one wish, it would be: not being ill and finding love

Why? it causes most of his turmoil and its really hard for him and he just wants to be loved like he never was

Character’s soft spot: people being nice to him, being asked about his hyper fixations (hes usually too shy at first to talk much, but if he trusts you and you get him going he doesnt shut up)

Is this soft spot obvious to others? YES

Greatest strength: he has a lot of surprising physical strength (it wouldnt look like it), he has a pretty strong will too all things considered

Greatest vulnerability or weakness: his own mind, overthinking, moths (the guy)

Biggest regret: he missed his chance with someone he was really close to before he went to the hospital (Leon)

Minor regret: burning his pizza in fall of 1992

Biggest accomplishment: he used to write and actually wrote some small short stories that were published in magazines

Minor accomplishment: not burning his pizza in the winter of 1993

Past failures he/she would be embarrassed to have people know about: he was removed from school a lot growing up til he was expelled and “homeschooled” (it was just him reading all the curriculum himself).

Why? because its embarrassing to him

Character’s darkest secret: he keeps clothing and (if theyre killed) body parts of people hes infatuated with

Does anyone else know? mya does now

Past

Hometown: LA, California

Type of childhood: very badly neglected and abused

Pets: he had a cat as a child, but they died in an unfortunate accident and it really affected him. his plushie cat was name after her.

First memory: his mom yelling at him

Most important childhood memory: getting his plushie cat

Why: it was his number one comfort item. he still has it but shes really old and worn so he keeps it under his pillow or in his dresser

Childhood hero: he didnt have one

Dream job: when he was little wanted to be a vet, then when he got older he wanted to be an artist, now he wants to be a writer

Education: in and out of elementary, half of middle school and then self homeschooled on his own.

Religion: agnostic

Finances: very very poor

Present

Current location: [REDACTED FOR FUTURE GAMES]

Currently living with: he lived alone til he died

Pets: n/a

Religion: agnostic

Occupation: n/a

Finances: n/a

Family

Mother: Paloma Purpura

Relationship with her: very bad. She was extremely abusive to him in physical and mental ways. Randall was an accident and she blamed him for “ruining her life”. She was a severe alcoholic and would leave him home alone for days at a time sometimes. She had schizophrenia and would take out delusions on him. Moths waited til she was passed out and set the house on fire, using cigarettes to make it appear as an accident.

Father: Byun Ji-hwan

Relationship with him: He died while Paloma was 7 months pregnant with him. He got in a car accident. Paloma loved him a lot and his death made her spiral into a depression, most likely being a big factor in Randall being born premature and with many health problems.

Siblings: he’s an only child.

Spouse: He was in love with his neighbor and only friend, Leon, but he moved away and he never told him how he felt.

He was also briefly involved with his boss, Mort, at the pizzeria. He stalked him and was obsessed with him, but lost touch after he went to the hospital.

He had a crush on his neighbor, Tom, who Moths murdered and kept in his bathtub til mya stopped him.

Other important family members: He has an aunt and uncle on his mothers side who adopted him when his house burned down. They were mentally abusive to him and would have to tie him to his bed when he had night terrors cause he would hurt himself and others otherwise. thats why he has rope burn scars on his wrists and ankles.

Favorites

Color: Red and Blue

Least favorite color: yellow

Music: he listens to a lot of different genres, anything floaty and dreamy or kind of weird. his favorite band is radiohead, he also loves oingo boingo and the talking heads.

Food: pizza. pizza anything, he loves all pizza stuff. he hates burgers though.

Literature: horror novels

Form of entertainment: he likes to watch infomercials on TV

Mode of transportation: he has a purple Ford Escort. he keeps losing the keys so he tends to walk everywhere. does NOT ride the bus if he can help it

Most prized possession: His plushie cat, Shadow.

Habits

Hobbies: watching tv or doodling/writing

Plays a musical instrument? he cant play any instrument, but he likes to sing

Plays a sport? no one would play sports with him as a kid and he doesnt have the stamina, but he enjoys watching winter sports.

How he/she would spend a rainy day: He’d open the window so he can listen to the rain and just relax or write

Spending habits: he barely has enough money to get by as it is, but he likes to buy gas station pizza or candy when he can. sometimes he’ll treat himself if hes really depressed and by some silly little toy or something

Smokes: started smoking at 14, chain smoked until he worked and was irritable alot because the breaks werent enough and then he quit after staying in the hospital. Moths still smokes and Randall will have one if he gets really stressed.

Drinks: Used to drink when he was 16, doesnt like how it makes him feel. Triggers memories of his mom.

Other drugs: experimented with lots of drugs as a teen. tried pills, speed and weed. Stopped doing drugs after 2 years., never did them to excess, just to deal with PSTD.

What does he/she do too much of? drinks a lot of soda and caffeinated beverages.

What does he/she do too little of? eating anything. he tends to forget or is just not up for it.

Extremely skilled at: is actually a really good shot with a gun, surprisingly even without his glasses. hes also really good at rhythm type things

Extremely unskilled at: anything involving other people

Nervous tics: chews on his shirt, picks at his nails or bites his nails, covers his face with his sleeves

Usual body posture: slouches, puts his hands up to his chest with his sleeves covering them. tends to walk fast when in public to get home as fast as possible. (virgin walk)

Mannerisms: shy, twitchy, sweaty, has a stutter when nervous. tends not to be able to make eye contact and looks down or away mostly

Traits

Optimist or pessimist? very pessimistic

Introvert or extrovert? EXTREME introvert

Daredevil or cautious?  cautious (moths is a daredevil with no impulse control)

Logical or emotional? tries to be logical usually, but ends up becoming emotional

Disorderly and messy or methodical and neat? it really depends on what. his self care is messy, but his living space is usually kept pretty clean and minimalist, except for maybe some food wrappers but he picks them up weekly.

Prefers working or relaxing? likes relaxing, but working gets his mind off things.

Confident or unsure of himself/herself? very very unsure of himself

Animal lover? yes, loves all animal esp bugs, rabbits and rats or any creature hated by most people (he relates)

Self-perception

How he/she feels about himself/herself: hes very self loathing and takes what happened to him personally, feeling like he did something to deserve. that carried on to adulthood and now when something bad happens on accident he thinks he must have done something to deserve it. he finds himself very unattractive and has a hard time looking in the mirror. hates everything about himself.

One word the character would use to describe self:  bad

What does the character consider his/her best personality trait? he doesnt think he has any

What does the character consider his/her worst personality trait? shyness

What does the character consider his/her best physical characteristic? eyes

What does the character consider his/her worst physical characteristic? scars

How does the character think others perceive him/her: he thinks people see him as a gross person, someone you wouldnt want to go near. and smelly.

What would the character most like to change about himself/herself: everything

Relationships with others

Opinion of other people in general: scary and would rather be alone, but wants love and friends

Does the character hide his/her true opinions and emotions from others? absolutely

Person character most hates: his mother, his aunt and uncle and tom

Best friend(s): mya and leon

Love interest(s): leon and sort of tom (it wasnt really reciprocated so hes dead)

Person character goes to for advice: mya

Person character feels responsible for or takes care of: himself

Person character feels shy or awkward around: everyone

Person character openly admires: mya (he likes how outgoing and nice she is)

Person character secretly admires:  mya

Most important person in character’s life before story starts: leon

After story starts: mya

#ive been working on this on and off for a very long time #randall purpura #purple game

[jichew]

kim seunghun♡soulmate!au

a/n: this took….WAY TOO LONG to finish. I apologize if this au is not as cohesive bc I did write it over the span of a few weeks lol. Thank you all for waiting so patiently and feel free to leave any requests as I will be free to write this weekend!!! mwah♡

so,, in this alternate universe exists the soulmate tattoo

yes, i know so creative ;w;

essentially, you are born with the name of your soulmate tattooed somewhere on your body

and you have the absolute pleasure of having the name kim seunghun tattooed in cursive across the expanse of your right hip

spicy ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

anyway,,, you’re kind of asjsdjkSAD

bc seunghun is such a common name??? and you’ve met so many seunghuns???

but NONE of them are your soulmate :((((

you would know,, considering u basically ripped a guys shirt off when he told u that yes, his name was kim seunghun but no, he did not have ur name on his hip

uhh but that’s a story for another day :,)

anyway,,, ur kinda bummed??

and it’s gotten to the point where you’ve almost lost all hope of finding him

。・°°・(＞_＜)・°°・。

but anyway ,, life goes on I guess

SO

you’re yedam’s older sister by about 3 years

( sorry forgot to mention that important detail )

you both go to the same high school!!!

ur a senior and he’s a FRESHIE

obviously,,, hes a BABY（≧∇≦）

so ur super protective of him

and when you find out he’s been hanging out with some ,, QUESTIONABLE individuals at school

mom mode: activated

“dammie who r these kids”

“MOM, we’re part of dance club together!! they’re super nice i promise”

＼＼\٩(๑`^´๑)۶//／／

u just want your baby to stay safe u know??

so when he asks to invite his friends over to practice

you’re like ( ˘ω˘ )

yedam: (◞‸◟)

you: (　˙-˙　)

sad yedam is a big fat NO in this household

so you have no choice but to agree

and as his unofficial mom, you decide to greet his friends !

“hi, i’m y/n! bang y/n!” ╰(*´︶`*)╯♡

and like ,,,, you lowkey feel bad thinking his friends were bad bc most of the guys are pretty chill

like this byounggon kid??

the epitome of looks like he wants to kill you but is actually a cinnamon roll ( ^ω^ )

but when you get to the last dude ,,,

he just kinda ~looks~ at you

and ur not gonna lie … he’s HOT

like he’s only wearing a hoodie ,, but he has silver hoops lined along his ears,, and his hair just messily grazes across his forehead

you internally: *･゜ﾟ･*:.｡..｡.:*･’(*ﾟ▽ﾟ*)‘･*:.｡. .｡.:*･゜ﾟ･*

uhhhh but also he’s staring u down like he wants to kill u

“i’m hun” he introduces himself coldly

(._.)

he still cute tho

so,,, it’s been a while and yedam has continued to bring his friends over to practice

and you’ve come to grow fond of the boys!!!

esp byounggon :,)))

you guys just click???

except,,,, there’s still a certain blonde haired boy who just doesn’t seem to like u???

like u were walking to ur class the other morning

and you just HAPPENED to see him

so u were like,,, hm let me be a nice person today(＾ｰ^)

so you run up to him and grab his shoulder

“hun!!! what’s up my guy!!” ( ＾∀＾)

honestly,, you went in to this thinking that the only thing hun would do is say hi back???

you: WRONG

he kind of freezes for a second

and you’re like???? u ok bud

he slowly turns around

and his eyes,,, literally pierce into yours

he gingerly takes your hand from its grip on your shoulder, letting it limply fall at your side

and then he slowly walks towards you until your back is pressed against the white brick wall of the hallway, his hands caging you in on either side of your head

slowly, he inches his face towards yours

“stop faking nice to me, we are not and will never be friends”

you internally: hnnngg why does he smell so nice???? is that bath and body works? since when did men shop at bath and body works??(΄◉◞౪◟◉｀)

you externally: HMPH how DARE U invade my personal bubble young man i won’t hesitate to FIGHT(● ˃̶͈̀ロ˂̶͈́)੭

and then he walks off

“FUCK YOU TOO HUN!!! I BET THAT’S NOT EVEN YOUR REAL NAME!! I HOPE U THINK ABOUT WHAT U DID WHEN U GO BACK HOME YOUNG MAN” ＼＼\٩(๑`^´๑)۶//／／

you are a BIG MAD

like??? who does this kid think he is???

you dont really bother talking to him much after that :///

but also ,, you hate yourself bc you’re still so ATTRACTED to him??? and u don’t even know why??? like bad personalities are such a turn off why ,,???

hmph

ANYWAY

so it’s a saturday night ,,

u know what that means…

party @ byounggon’s place ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

bc what’s a bullet point au w out a party am i right???

basically, gon’s parents were on vacation for the weekend, so he took the chance to have the party of the year

and after the stress of exam season, you’re ready to get SMACKED

lmao i do not support underage drinking kids!

uhhh anyway

this is your first party in a ,, while

so you dress yourself up in a red mini dress and some platform heels and strut your hot ass to gon’s house ;)

by the time you walked up to the house,, it was a full fledged RAGER 😤

so like one second,,, you’re just chilling, shaking your hips to some britney spears

and the next thing you know!! you’re downing your fifth shot of the night

“GON I THIBJK IM GONNA THROW UP”

gon: Σ('◉⌓◉’)

the next thing u know you’re in the bathroom bent over the toilet

(;´д｀)

thankfully,,, you don’t puke

but you do drink atleast five bottles of water and take a power nap on gon’s shoulder

anyway ,,, by the the time you’ve slightly sobered up, you realize your head kinda hurts and the party is still going strong but u promised gon you’d stay to clean up soooo

you end up going upstairs to NAP (ᵔᴥᵔ)

but when you open the door to the guest room at the end of the hall,,,

you just HAPPEN to see hun already there on the bed scrolling through his phone

＼＼\٩(๑`^´๑)۶//／／

this man rlly just knows how to push ur buttons huh

if you weren’t so tired maybe you would’ve taken the time to appreciate the way his leather jacket complimented his broad shoulders

like not 2 be rude but this bich looked hella good

but also ur tired :///

“what are YOU doing here”

hun finally looks up and notices you standing in the doorway

and he doesn’t say anything for a while

just kinda stares at you

and it takes you a while to realize that he’s lowkey checking you out

you wouldn’t admit it, but the way his eyes glazed over your form made a pit form in your stomach

finally he locks eyes with yours

“what do you mean what am I doing here, what are YOU doing here?”

he smirks and gets off the bed to step closer to you

“i WANTED to take a NAP but you just HAD to take the only room that doesn’t have people FUCKING” (● ˃̶͈̀ロ˂̶͈́)੭ꠥ⁾⁾

“well it’s not my fault you can’t handle your alcohol”

this BITCH

“can you PLEASE just leave”

“no”

you let out a sigh of frustration and square your hands on your hips

“why do you hate me so much”

“i never said i hated you”

“well the way you act sure makes it seem like you do” you huff

hun cocks his head a little and steps closer to you

suddenly, it seems like the idea of personal space is almost nonexistant

you look up at him

and u notice the way his hooded eyes rest on your lips

and how the air around you both has suddenly gotten heavier

and you feel your body heating up

and you realize that maybe,,, you’re not so tired anymore

“well how about i prove to you that i don’t”

hun’s voice has reached a whisper, his lips only centimeters from yours

and suddenly he’s kissing you

and you’re kissing back

perhaps it’s because you’re not completely sober that you don’t notice the way his touch burns your hip

and if you do, you ignore it

the softness of his lips against yours almost makes you feel drunk again

and the next thing you know, he’s taking off your shirt, hands finding their way to the curve of your waist

as your lips make their way down his neck, you allow yourself to do the same to him

( you wish you didn’t do that )

because as you push his shirtless body against the bed, you can’t help but notice the cursive scrawl lining his right hip

and in that moment, it feels as if you’ve never been more sober in your life

you’re frozen, eyes resting on his hip

and maybe hun, or should we now say seunghun, is not as sober as he seems, considering it takes him a while to track down the path of your eyes

and when he finally does, his heart drops in his chest

he reaches out to grasp some part, any part, of you

but you flinch away

“y/n…. this isn’t what you think it is”

his eyes are pleading you to stay and listen to him

you let out a harsh laugh

“no, no this is EXACTLY what i think it is”

“y/n please don’t -“

and suddenly you’re untangling yourself from the bed sheets, haphazardly throwing your shirt on and slamming the door behind you  

and in that moment you realize that maybe soulmates aren’t as perfect as the world makes them out to be

so the rest of the weekend is spent in your bed,,, wrapped up in ur sheets like a burrito

you don’t really cry much

you’re just ,,, confused

having the idea that your soulmate knew you were his soulmate but never told you, and better yet, acts like he hates you??

(◞‸◟)

yedam: y/n, why have u been laying in bed all day (● ˃̶͈̀ロ˂̶͈́)੭ꠥ⁾⁾

you: ;w;

and as much as dammie wants to talk to you, he has more emotional intelligence than most guys his age (or guys in general tbh)

so he pats your back, makes two bags of popcorn, puts kimi no na wa on his laptop and gets under the covers beside you

it isn’t until the end of the movie when the last of your tears have dried on your face that you look up at him with puffy eyes

“dammie, i found my soulmate”

yedam: Σ('◉⌓◉’)

“it’s not that big of a deal… i don’t think he  wants me anyway”

by the time you reach the end of the sentence, your voice falls into a whisper

perhaps you would like to believe seunghun wanted you

but some things don’t turn out the way we believe

“why would u say that” yedam looks down at you, brows furrowed in worry

“uhh, i mean -“

“WAIT … who even is your soulmate??”

you:👀🍵

“it’s … hun”

“W H A T”

and that, my friends, is how yedam realized u can’t trust people in this world :/

so it’s monday

and as you brush your teeth, you can’t help but feel uneasy knowing that you could possibly see seunghun today

thankfully you don’t

but when it’s finally nighttime and you’re making your way under your covers ,,,

unknown: y/n, open your window

unknown: i’m outside and it’s cold

unknown: this is seunghun btw…

you on the outside: what the FUCK

you on the inside: i’m literally wearing basketball shorts how am i supposed to see my soulmate like this (O_O)

and when you pull back your curtains and open your window, you are met with none other than kim seunghun barreling into your room

“how long were you out there??” (● ˃̶͈̀ロ˂̶͈́)੭ꠥ⁾⁾

“uhhh maybe an hour or so” m(._.)m

and perhaps it’s the motherly side of you that decides to pull his face down and cup his cheeks in your hands in an attempt to warm him up

and you don’t really notice how close you’ve gotten to him until you look down and realize his lips are only centimeters from yours

but when seunghun’s lips form into a little smirk at your obviously flustered state, you quickly retract your hands

“i’m sorry…”

you don’t really make a move to respond to seunghun, choosing to stare at the floor instead

“I know what i did was stupid … and i should have told you from the start… but i’ve had bad experiences in the past with soulmates and i didn’t know if -“

“that doesn’t matter, you should have just told me that you didn’t want me in the first place instead of making me feel this way”

you’re a bit pissed off now

that this dude thinks he has the right to act like that and then barge into your room??

but when you take the time to look up at him

his eyes have softened

and he moves a step closer to you

“i do want you though”

… “ w h a t “

“then why have you acted so rude to me?? when you obviously knew i was your soulmate from the start, why did you hide it??”

now seunghun is the one looking down at his hands

and he looks so defeated, before he opens his mouth

“i’m scared”

you look up at him, but he’s still looking down at his hands

“my dad rejected my mom when he found out they were soulmates. i don’t think … he wanted to deal with the commitment of having a soulmate. he thought they were stupid. so he rejected her and he went off to do whatever the hell he’s doing right now. he went off and he abandoned my mom with two year old me and we haven’t heard from him since.”

a single tear drops from his eyes

and you move a step closer and wrap your arms around him

he’s frozen for a second but he hugs you back

and you both stay there for a while, you rubbing his back in an attempt to calm him down

“i won’t ever leave you seunghun”

he pulls back

and despite his red-rimmed eyes and tear stained cheeks, he cups your face with his cold finger tips and kisses you

and you kiss him back

#ITS BEEN TOO LONG #oof #enjoy my loves!!! #also zeen if ur reading this I lov u #kim seunghun #seunghun #kim seunghun imagine #seunghun imagine #ygtb imagines #ygtb scenarios #yg treasure box imagines #yg treasure box scenarios #ygtb #yg treasure box

[petalsbloomed-a]

VERY LONG  CHARACTER  SURVEY !! RULES.  repost ,   don’t  reblog  !    tag  10  ! good  luck  ! TAGGED.  stolen !!! TAGGING. anyone who wants to do this tbh cuz this is long as shit and i dont want anyone to do this who might not be able to aljdhfskjdhkj

BASICS. FULL  NAME : galo thymos NICKNAME : himbo, idiot, rookie, newbie, #1 firefighting idiot AGE : 21 BIRTHDAY : june 30 ETHNIC  GROUP : japanese (+ korean / western european) NATIONALITY : american LANGUAGE / S : english / japanese / studied french and spanish SEXUAL  ORIENTATION : demisexual ROMANTIC  ORIENTATION : biromantic RELATIONSHIP  STATUS : single HOME  TOWN / AREA : promeopolis (i envision this being around nyc / tri-state area) CURRENT  HOME : lives with older sister and niece PROFESSION : firefighter, undergraduate student

PHYSICAL. SKIN : pretty fair tan, but he sometimes appears a little darker than usual. his skin does a strange thing where it changes shade in different lighting. his skin is usually smooth, but right after getting finished with work, he sometimes is covered in dust and appears somewhat dried out. EYES : slightly upturned, deep-set, wide and somewhat of an almond shape. irises are usually very round, and are a bluish-cyan color. pupils often alight with mischief. in intense lighting, you can see a little red dot reflecting off his eyes. LIPS : pretty thin and nude, hard to notice. matches his skin tone very well. usually quite smooth. tends to get chapped after working. COMPLEXION : pretty fair, but in different lighting, he can look a lot tanner than what he really is. BLEMISHES : he has a few moles here and there, but overall his skin is fairly clear and clean. he doesn’t suffer from acne nearly as much as he did when he was in grade school. SCARS : he has some tiny, barely noticeable acne scars on his face, chin, and neck. the most noticeable ones are on his left arm from when he was practically set alight by a burnish flame. these are thick and quote coarse, and can cause some discomfort when touched. he also has a very small nick in his left ear, which was how his sister identified him when he found her after being separated from their family after the burnish incident when he was a kid. TATTOOS : an arrow that goes right below the nape of his neck to the middle of his back. the point is at about the small of his back, and there are a few decorations along the arrow. HEIGHT : 6′0, 183 cm WEIGHT : 165 lbs, ~75 kg BUILD : very muscular, quite athletic. very beefy arms, strong chest, well-built abdominals. however, his thighs and waist are pretty thin and trim. FEATURES : his most distinct features are his dramatic haircut and scars on his left arm, as well as the small white line on the outer helix of his left ear. his chest and shoulders are also quite broad in comparison to his rather thin waist. ALLERGIES : slight peanut allergy, dust, pollen. USUAL  HAIR  STYLE : undercut with a dramatic, spiky blue mohawk. USUAL  FACE  LOOK : mischievous smile or smirk; sometimes looks a bit wistful, like he’s thinking about something. USUAL  CLOTHING : is normally shirtless, wearing thick red firefighter pants with a yellow “3.” most often wears black rubber boots, black gloves, ear lobe piercings, and an industrial piercing. sometimes wears a black tee-shirt.

PSYCHOLOGY. FEAR / S : spiders, bugs, needles, being in love (kind of), losing his sister or niece, finding out his parents are dead. ASPIRATION / S : to continue his firefighting career, to receive a masters in emergency medical technology / fire prevention & safety technology. POSITIVE  TRAITS : brave, caring, friendly, modest. NEGATIVE  TRAITS : daring, reckless, sensitive, over-attachment. MBTI : entertainer (ESFP-A) ZODIAC : cancer TEMPEREMENT : choleric / sanguine SOUL  TYPE / S : performer ANIMALS : zebra VICE  HABIT / S : twiddling thumbs, jiggling leg (usually the right), twirling & playing with hair, biting nails, chewing lips, swearing, sighing, pen clicking. FAITH : none; would consider himself agnostic. GHOSTS ? : yes. AFTERLIFE ? : not sure. REINCARNATION ? : not sure, but leaning towards no. ALIENS ? : yes. POLITICAL  ALIGNMENT : independent, opinions slightly more left-leaning EDUCATION  LEVEL : graduate student

FAMILY. FATHER : nikanor thymos MOTHER : agape thymos SIBLINGS : danai thymos (older sister) EXTENDED  FAMILY : james (ex-brother-in-law), aria (niece) NAME  MEANING / S : his first name is of an unknown meaning, but it could mean “from gaul” in greek. his last name comes from the greek word “thumos”, which means “spiritedness” or “the need of recognition.” HISTORICAL  CONNECTION ? : not that we know of, i think ???

FAVORITES. BOOK : harry potter / hunger games MOVIE : the lion king 5  SONGS : rick astley - never gonna give you up, lady gaga - born this way, beyonce - countdown, ariana grande - god is a woman, pitbull - timber (feat. kesha) DEITY : zeus HOLIDAY : christmas MONTH : july SEASON : summer PLACE : his bedroom / the lounge at work WEATHER : partly cloudy SOUND : meditation sounds SCENT / S : coffee, flowers, fresh baked desserts, fresh pizza, light cologne TASTE / S : coffee, vanilla cake, milk chocolate, parmesan cheese, green tea anything tbh FEEL / S : soft blankets, comfy pillows, loose-fitting clothes ANIMAL / S : dogs NUMBER : 13 COLORS : teal blue / flame red

EXTRA. TALENTS : piano, singing, writing, linguistics, thinking quickly, firefighting BAD  AT : drawing (sort of), getting himself organized, following orders (sometimes) TURN  ONS : kindness, sensitivity, acceptance, openness, agreeableness TURN  OFFS : irresponsibility, lack of free time, ignorance HOBBIES : piano, singing, writing (stories, poems, etc), karate TROPES : ambiguously gay, antiquated linguistics, broken tears, calling your attacks, the chosen one, firemen are hot, going commando, hunk, idiot hero, innocently insensitive, large ham, mr. fanservice, oblivious to love, the protagonist, rookie red ranger, scars are forever, shonen hair, you gotta have blue hair (found here, there’s a lot more actually) QUOTES : “medals are made to be awarded to and from people who deserve them.” / “you can’t just kill for no reason!” / “[i’m] the universe’s #1 firefighting idiot!”

MUN QUESTIONS. Q1 :   if  you  could  write  your  character  your  way  in  their  own  movie ,   what  would  it  be  called ,  what  style  would  it  be  filmed  in ,  and  what  would  it  be  about ? A1 : honestly??? i think i would keep it the way it is, BUT i would like to have seen some more canonical information about galo’s family. as of right now, we know that kray saved him after his family was attacked by the burnish. if i were to direct a new movie about galo, i would focus it mainly on his family. Q2 : what  would  their  soundtrack / score  sound  like ? A2 : i think it would be a mix of melancholic music as well as more upbeat stuff. on my blog’s main page there are links in the sidebar to both a soundtrack playlist as well as a pop music playlist; i definitely think it’s fair that a variety of genres would suit him and his experiences. Q3 : why  did  you  start  writing  this  character ? A3 : when i first watched promare, i was instantly drawn to this buffoon himbo. i’ve always had a thing for upbeat, energetic characters who are also quite caring and a bit dumb (which yes galo is very smart but he has his moments). while their personalities differ greatly (despite having the same personality type), he reminds me a lot of lance from vld, who i absolutely adore as well (and i also rp him too oops) Q4 : what  first  attracted  you  to  this  character ? A4 : again, probably his personality. while i’m not as energetic and upbeat as galo and i have a very, very different personality type than him, i feel like i definitely do understand him. i understand why he feels he needs to be overly confident, and i also have my moments where i just need to storm off and be alone. god i could write paragraphs and paragraphs about why i like galo but i wanna keep it short and sweet and just stick with those two points, which i consider to be the biggest points. Q5 : describe  the  biggest  thing  you  dislike  about  your  muse. A5 : look, i know i said i liked confidence, but something about galo that annoys me is the fact that he can often seem too confident. like yeah he seemed pretty humble in that pizza scene at the beginning of the movie, but i can’t help but feel a twinge of annoyance towards people who put themselves right into the center of attention and be all like “yeah i know i’m great.” like my boy i love you but do u have to announce urself every time u appear on the scene??? and pls stop being so reckless u honestly might die too soon one of these days we want u to be around for us to enjoy u Q6 : what  do  you  have  in  common  with  your  muse ? A6 : i definitely feel like we both have our moments where we just need some peace and quiet. of course, everyone needs this, but when galo talked about running off when he was pissed reminded me of me; i tend to go and cool off and vent to myself if i’m annoyed about something. we’re both naturally people-oriented and love to be around others, even though galo likes being the center of attention a little bit more than myself. Q7 : how  does  your  muse  feel  about  you ? A7 : in the sense that if galo were real, i honestly think we would get along fairly well. we have different ways of dealing with things, but we have similar habits and personality traits. however when it comes to rp blogs, while i do like to headcanon things about my muses that mirror my own opinions and beliefs, i do consider the mun/muse relationship fairly symbiotic. we as real people can learn so much from fictional characters and in how we play them, and of course, the mun will determine some things about the muse that will deter from canon. Q8 : what  characters  does  your  muse  have  interesting  interactions  with ? A8 : i just started this blog and have had very minimal interactions, so it’s hard to say ! i’d say that an interaction with a kray muse would be the most interesting. part of me wants galo to forgive kray and to have a better relationship with him post-movie canon, but there’s still so much about galo and kray’s relationship pre-movie as well; what was their relationship like? was kray like a father to galo? how can i describe the psychological mindset that galo had after finding out that kray betrayed him? there’s so much about these two that i really want to discover and look at, while of course providing my own insight (cuz that’s what muns do, right?). Q9 : what  gives  you  inspiration  to  write  your  muse ? A9 : i like to study galo’s actions in the movie, and try to find the underlying cause of the actions he takes. however, when it comes to headcanons, i will often think of a scene or an idea in my head and then internally apply it to galo and see if it works. this is usually what kindles my writing fire: the thoughts that often rush through my head. Q10 : how  long  did  this  take  you  to  complete ? A10 : like two whole days lmao im so slow

#heart of fire and soul of passion. (headcanon) #noah rambles. (out of character)

[galen066]

Air on a G: A June Six New Vegas ficlet

"You're going to have to face him sooner or later."

"Cass, please, all I want to do right now is relax, maybe play a couple of hands of blackjack, have a drink, and catch the show, alright?" June said patiently. Cass remained doubtful, but nodded.

June sighed, leaned against the wall of the Tops Casino to the right of the main doors, and regarded her girlfriend closely. Cass had actually cleaned up for their night out, wearing new-to-her jeans, a white dress shirt, and the vintage velvet topper June had found in Zion for her, complete with an ornate feather that displayed a shimmering blue-green 'eye'. June was wearing some old world men's black dress pants and a sleeveless top that displayed her new tattoos, her pale blonde hair combed out and caught in a bouncy pony tail. "Look, I know you've been on edge recently, what with us starting our own caravan company and all. I get that you've been around more than I have, and that you've gotten burned a couple of times," Cass scoffed but June continued. "I'm not those people. I listen to you."

Cass had to smile at that. "Yeah, that's true. You don't always do what I suggest, and for the most part, it's worked out pretty good." The earnest affection on June's face changed her mind. "Alright, but we both go, and we both carry a couple of backups. Deal?"

"Deal", June nodded and kissed Cass, and they both entered the casino.

"Ladies, always good to see you!", Swank, second in command of the Chairmen, greeted them. "You know the rules." June and Cass both handed over their visible weapons and passed into the casino lounge. June neatly picked a couple of drinks off the tray of a cocktail server, handing one to Cass, and the pair descended into the blackjack pit.

An hour and twenty minutes later, June had a new hat, Cass had a golden gecko-hide jacket, and the pit boss was escorting them to the cashier's cage, a fixed, professional smile on his face. "How would you like your payout?", the cashier inquired when the pit boss slid the tray to her.

"Caps, please", June replied. "Can you hold them here until we leave?"

"Of course."

Cass struggled to keep the grin off her face as they climbed the wide stairs up to the Aces Theatre. "Goddamn, I thought Chuckles there was going to pop a vessel when you cashed out."

June grinned shamelessly. "Yeah, me too. It looked like the cashier was going to pass out when she realized she'd just been ordered to hand over five grand. Poor thing." Cass held the door to the theatre open for June, and waved her through like a dignitary.

It was still a good half hour or more until the show, so June and Cass each grabbed a beer from the bar, and started scouting for a table.

"Wellll, if it isn't the talent scout!", Tommy Torini, the one-eyed master of ceremonies and host of the Aces Theatre, purred in silky tones when he spotted June. "Lookin' fine as wine, might I add. How can the Aces be of service tonight?"

"Just here for the show, Tommy."

Tommy smiled, white teeth shining against his dark skin. "Of course. Any seat you like. Your friend the Lonesome Drifter is on in thirty, but he's mingling for now. Go say hello." Tommy made quick farewells, greeting his next guests as warmly as he'd greeted June.

June and Cass found the Drifter at a table near the stage, guitar close at hand. "I gotta thank you again for setting me up with this gig. Mighty kind of you."

June eyed the guitar. "Umm, would you mind if I held it, maybe tried a chord?"

The Drifter smiled indulgently at her, waving June to a seat nearby. "Be my guest."

June sat, getting comfortable, then lifted the instrument. "It's been a while since I held one. I might be a bit rusty." She plucked a string experimentally, listened, adjusted two tuning pegs ever so slightly, then ran through a Spanish guitar scale, first at three-quarter time, then at six-eight time.

Cass silently put her beer bottle on the table, staring at June. The tables nearby had gone silent. "Can you maybe play something?", the Drifter asked. June smiled, slightly shy, took a breath, looked at the Drifter, and started strumming and singing in a clear alto:

"Well, my daddy left home when I was three,

He didn't leave much to ma and me,

Just this old guitar and an empty bottle of booze..."

-*-*-

The smile froze on Tommy Torini's face. He knew talent when he heard it, and baby, right now he could hear an angel singing! He pardoned his way through the tables, stopping when he saw the Drifter had handed over his beloved guitar to the Courier, June Six, who was the source of the glorious noise, and waited until she had finished, whereupon everyone who had heard her burst into applause.

When the applause died away, Tommy approached June. "Baby, you just gotta say yes to at least one on-stage performance!"

"I dont kno-", June began, but was cut off by Cass.

"She says 'Yes!', and will be here Friday night!", Cass whooped. "We get thirty percent of the door!"

"Twenty-five", Tommy countered.

"Done!", Cass agreed, shoving her hand out to shake on the deal.

"Cass, what? Wait. I-", June hesitated. Cass kissed her to stop her words.

"June, honey, one night, one show, and we will be set for a grubstake for CJ Courier and Caravan." Now June understood, and nodded.

"One show", she agreed.

-*-*-

Raul Tejada adjusted the sash at his waist. He hadn't worn formal caballero clothing in far too long, and he glanced again at the invitation card as he sat at the table with the snooty Arcade Gannon, who hadn't bothered to dress for the occasion, and Veronica Santangelo, dressed in a clean pre-war frock dress. Boone and the bushy-haired man known only as Six were at the next table. Also in the audience was The King himself, accompanied by two young ladies and a sour-faced Pacer. The Garrets has actually ventured away from the Atomic Wrangler for the first time in anyone's recollection to attend tonight's show. A red-haired woman Raul knew as Bette was seated near the doors to the theatre. Julie Farkass from the followers shared a table with a bearded, horned-helmet wearing man Raul heard referred to as Papa Khan, one table away from an uncomfortable looking Ambassador Crocker, guarded by a cigar chomping ranger who'd drawn the short straw for guard detail. Alice McLafferty was conspicuous by her absence.

The house lights dimmed, and the show began...

-*-*-

June was nervous as hell, fussing backstage with her red satin gown. "I dont know about this, Cass..."

"You'll be fine", Cass reassured her. "I'll be front and center. You get nervous, you just focus on me, okay?" June nodded as she heard Tommy announce her on stage. A quick kiss from Cass, and June squared her shoulders, marching out to meet her fate.

-*-*-

June started with the Maleguená, fingers flying on the frets, coaxing every emotion out of her playing. Raul was weeping before she was halfway through.

Her next number, June announced was something for the workers of the NCR, and the people of Freeside before beginning.

"From the railhead to the boatyard,

From the factory to the farm,

From the mine to the millyard,

I've weathered the storm.

From the barroom to the bedpost,

I've wasted my days,

All I have is my drink, and the time left to think,

While my time slips away.

Just look at my face when you tell me goodbye,

You'll see what I'm after by the look in my eyes,

Just walk away, and leave me alone.

It's a long way back home..."

The audience was either pounding the tables in time, singing along, or weeping by the time June finished that song. Even Tommy Torini, wiping away a tear, was moved. Two more songs, similarly uplifting or wrenching, before June announced her last song for the night. She gazed through the spotlight to find one set of blue eyes before beginning.

"I hear the drizzle on the road,

Like a memory it falls.

Soft and warm continuing,

Tapping on my roof and walls.

And from the shelter of my mind,

Through the windows of my eyes,

I gaze beyond the rain-drenched streets,

To a land where my heart lies.

My mind's distracted and diffused,

My thoughts are are many miles away,

They lie with you when you're asleep,

Kiss you when you start your day..."

When the last notes of June's songs had faded into the evening, the audience was on their feet, clapping, whistling, cheering. And none louder than Cass, tears streaming down her face. "That's my girl! That's my lady!"

@cyndercrys @vkm11 @fo4dueprocess @worthlesssix @saberwriter @muffet-channel

#new vegas mood #fallout new vegas #june six #cass #talent night at the tops