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ironemrys · 4 years

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A Party For Me?

pairings/relationships: platonic DRLAMP

tw: blood, gore, I mean it's Remus what were you expecting?

notes: it's his birthday and I love him

"He's still asleep?" Logan asks as he walks in the kitchen.

"Yeah. Snoring and everything." Roman replies as he passes the cake batter to Patton.

Him and Patton have been busy since this morning, preparing for a certain birthday party that is about to take place.

"Janus and Virge were with him last night. They all went to the imagination." Roman adds when said sides appear in the kitchen as well.

"Remus still asleep?" Virgil asked and grabs a spoon before diving into the batter

"Virgil no!" Patton scolded but it was too late. The anxious side already scooped up a huge amount of the batter and ate it before jumping on top of the fridge (something the others were used to him doing by now).

"what did you guys do in the imagination anyway?" Roman wondered as he decorates the cookies previously made with things he knew his brother would like.

"we let him wreak havoc. we sparred since that's something that can cause havoc." Janus replies as he sits on a stool and sips his wine.

"we let him destroy a lot of shit." Virgil adds as Patton gasps and yells "LANGUAGE VIRGIL!"

But it just went over the spider boy's head.

"is that wine?" Logan asks Janus with a raised brow, "It's 7AM in the morning." he adds.

"your point?" Janus responds and continues to drink while the logical one just sighs.

A few hours later, everything that was needed for the party was finished. Now the only thing missing was the birthday boy himself.

"Roman, why don't you try and wake up Remus?" Patton asks.

"Are you crazy Pop? He might kill me!" Roman protested, looking offended at Morality's suggestion.

"doesn't he always?" Virgil retorts.

"well yeah but it's different when he's sleep deprived or even just sleeping. And it's the one thing we've both agreed upon, even when we were kids: never wake a sleeping twin." Roman answered.

"Fine. Then I'll wake him up" Logan says and sinks out before Roman could even protest further.

Logan rises up to the twins' shared bedroom. On one side, the bedroom is filled with papers and pencils and the walls were painted white and red. On the other side, the bedroom was littered with scraps and things Logan will pretend he didn't see and the walls were painted black and green.

On the bed, there sat Remus, fully awake and sewing something that looked like a voodoo doll (well it had a head and some limbs so whatever).

"Remus? You're awake." Logan says and said twin looks up from his tormented toy, obviously surprised.

"Hey Isaac Nerdton. What brings you here?" Remus asks and flinches when he accidentally poked his hand with the needle.

However, at the sight of blood, a huge grin appears on his face and he continues to poke the rest of his fingers, gushing blood everywhere.

"Do you know what day it is?" Logan asked, ignoring the disaster in Remus' hands.

"Wednesday?" Remus cackles before smothering the doll with his bloodied hands. He then wipes his hand on the wall, leaving a bloody handprint.

"hey you think I can paint the walls with my blood? Literally?" Remus asks as he stands on his bed.

"I don't think Roman would appreciate the smell of blood that will cover your entire room." Logan responds truthfully.

"Eh he always doesn't like the smell coming from my side of the room. That's why he's got those scented candles or some shit." Remus replies. The side then conjures a new doll after setting the bloodied one on fire and throwing it in a nearby trash bin (or was that his hamper? Logan doesn't know).

Remus grabs a knife out of nowhere and he cuts the doll's stomach open to reveal that it was full of sand.

"Remus… " Logan calls the distracted side.

"Hm? I'm not really up for breakfast if that's why you're here, Gay-lileo." Remus replies and Logan wonders a little.

"It's your birthday, Remus." He says and he watches as the hands that were torturing the doll came to a halt.

There was silence.

"Did you not know that?" Logan then asks and that's when Remus continued his experiment on the doll. He gets up and walks towards one of their many closets in the room.

Remus opens one and takes out a jar filled with-

"Are those chicken hearts?" Logan asks and Remus turns with a wicked grin

"yes."

Logan watches as the chaotic side takes out a heart and mushes it into the doll before sewing it back. Remus drops the doll on the ground and Logan was about to say something again when said doll started moving.

"Aha! Wonderful!" Remus cheers when Logan sees that the once inanimate doll began to stand up on its own. Remus summons a small sword and hands it over to the doll when a noise from his trash bin (or hamper) catches his attention. Turns out the burned doll wasn't all that dead. It was also moving.

"Well I guess a cat does have nine lives." Remus mumbles when the other doll comes at him with the sword and slices at his ankles.

"Alright that's enough outta you." Remus says and conjures two small cages before putting each doll inside.

Logan watched in awe at what Remus had created, true it wasn't ideal but it was entertaining. However, he remembered what exactly he was doing in the twins' room and he was about to remind the chaotic side again about why he was there when Remus spoke in a tone that was unfamiliar coming from him.

"It's okay. JJ and Vee already spent time with me yesterday. We scrambled in the imagination. It was fun. I know that's their way of telling me about my birthday." Remus sounded wary and it was strange.

Logan tilted his head, "Yes they've mentioned. But today we are going to celebrate it with everyone. Patton and Roman cooked and they made a cake."

At this, Remus whipped his head so fast it actually turned 180 degrees and Logan visibly flinched before he helped and straightened the latter's head.

"really?" Remus asked with wide eyes.

"yes really. Why? Is it not normal for you?" Logan asked.

"No. Before, it was only Vee, me and J, we would all hunker down in my side of the imagination. When Vee left, well, we didn't celebrate birthdays that much anymore. Jan and I would just sit in the room of who has a birthday and just eat and watch a movie."

Logan was quiet. He understood now why Remus didn't go down the common room the moment he woke up. He didn't think that the others would remember or even want to celebrate his birthday.

It's only been a year since they all started getting along but Remus didn't think that the rest of them besides Virgil and Janus would want to celebrate something about him with him.

"well things have changed now and everyone is waiting for you in the common area." Logan responds and Remus looks at him when Roman rises up into their room, followed by Patton and Virgil and Janus who popped inside

"oh thank god! I thought he killed you!" Roman breathes out in relief

"we were worried because you guys were taking too long, is everything okay?" Patton asks and Remus notices the green and black colored cake in his hands.

"Remus?" Janus asks when he notices that the side became unusually quiet.

"you… all… you really want to celebrate my birthday with me?" Remus asks.

Virgil and Janus look at each other in understanding then to Logan. Roman looks confused, as well as Patton.

However, Patton smiles and takes a step forward.

"of course we do. We're a family, aren't we? And that's what families do. I may have been… well, not good to you guys in the past but… a lot has changed. You're part of this family, as you always should've been."

To say that they weren't surprised when Remus bursted into tears would be a lie.

"Happy Birthday, brother." Roman was the first to say while Remus sniffed and snorted.

The candle on the cake lit up with a flick of Janus' wrist and Patton walked closer to Remus who wiped his snot and face with the sleeve of his robes.

Remus blew out the candle and grinned in delight while the rest of them offered him a soft smile.

"Let's go back to the common area. I believe there are treats that need to be consumed and presents that need to be given." Logan suggests and they all nodded.

"YOU GOT ME PRESENTS?!" Remus screeches. He bounced up and down in excitement and Roman laughed.

"of course we did. What's a birthday without the presents?" He asked.

"last one there is an ugly gay prince with no love life!" Remus yells and quickly swiped his palm on the frosting of the cake and smothered Roman's face before sinking out with Patton to escape.

"HEATHEN!!!!!!" Roman yells before sinking back down to chase his brother.

"how much are you willing to bet that they'll set the whole house on fire?" Virgil asks Janus.

"Logan's entire space collection."

"Don't you dare touch that." Logan replies as the three of them sink back down to the common room.

Listen. I have no idea what I'm doing. I just love Remus and it's his birthday so whatever. Happy Birthday Rat!

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jensungf · 4 years

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10 questions tag pt.2

hoo boi okay so ive been tagged in this a lot so im going to split it up into parts but this is alr a lot to read so if u read all of this u deserve a cookie so reply back with cookie and ima send u kithes and hugs

thank u to every who tagged me!! @byunbaekby @neocitybynight @bumblebeenct

aurora’s questions (these r from awhile back hehe

what’s your favorite dish from your culture?

i like phở gà (chicken noodle soup) or bún bò huế (hhh idk it in english)

vegetables or fruit?

fruits? i don’t like either

what’s the last book you’ve read and did you like it?

i think i had to read frankenstein for decathalon before corona hit and no i did not ugh

what inscription would you like on your tombstone?

heart nutted too hard or leyna [redacted] ; jk i actually dont know, i guess in loving memory leyna her love shall forever be remembered thru photographs bc even when the people change, the memories still stay or something (my brain is chaotic rn)

what should they teach in high school but do’t?

definitely financial literacy and how to do taxes and whatnot

who would you most like to sit next to on a 10 hours flight and why?

probs jisung or renjun bc lbr jisung and i would be the type to play smash the entire time and snack (and also if i fell asleep on his shoulder that shit would be so cute omfg) but renjun and i could continue talking for hours hahahah

what skill would you like to master?

cooking/baking!

what movie title best describes your life?

to all the boys i’ve loved before (ok not rly but i couldn’t think of much)

what’s the best way to start your day?

waking up well rested with my outfit planned and no rush getting ready to go eat brunch w my friends

what pets did you have while you were growing up?

i never had any pets hehe i’m allergic and mis padres say no

milly’s questions

where is the favourite place you’ve ever been?

i think i really like the city in toronto!! it’s super aesthetic and the vibes are amazing but i didn’t get to explore :( @longassride kidnap me pls

what is your best school subject, and if it changed drastically why?

it’s always been english haha but i’m not even that good

animated or live action films?

i prefer animated tbh the live action films i’ve seen don’t do any justice

do you play any instruments, how long for?

i play the bassoon and it’s been like 6 years (don’t need fooled i hate it)

have you told anyone irl that you have a blog?

yeah lmao a lot of my irls know and i let some follow me but we dont talk about it too much

favourite social media?

instagram or tumblr

can you quote me something from your favourite book?

“There comes a time when the world gets quiet and the only thing left is your own heart. So you'd better learn the sound of it. Otherwise you'll never understand what it's saying.” — Just Listen, Sarah Dessen

what was the last tv show you finished in its entirety?

fuck i have no idea i don’t even think ive ever finished a tv show... oops?

do you have an all time favourite nct fic on this site?

i have many so it’s so hard to choose but one of my all time favs might be @/starlightkun’s ayakashi series for jeno called featherbrain and @lovingyong’s tatbilb series for jaemin. i stayed up until 7am reading featherbrain and i didn’t stop rereading it for a wk bc it was everything i’ve ever liked in one story since i was super into otome games at one point and if i’m being honest, kelsie’s series helped move past a lot of hardships bahahah i could probably quote a few lines honestly bc they mean so much to me

if you could time travel, when would you go?

the 90s!!

sunny’s questions

If you could pick one artist to soundtrack your life, who would it be?

niki bc she is queen and relatable !!!

If you could have a Magic Eight Ball that really would answer your questions, what would you ask it?

am i going to be happy and successful?If you could bring one cryptid (supernatural creature) to life, what would you choose?

If you could bring one cryptid (supernatural creature) to life, what would you choose?

honestly that’s so hard ugh i might say angels/demons (i know that’s two but the concept has always intrigued me)

Coke or Pepsi?

coke but i don’t like either

What is your guilty pleasure?

otome games hehe but i guess just reading ff/webtoons all the time

If you had a title after your name (e.g. Alexander the Great) what would you want?

leyna the lover or some shit like that haha i rly dont know

Would you rather have a band who narrated all your movements through song or the paparazzi follow you around?

haksjsk i think band bc it doesn’t always have to be a literal narration and paparazzi would expose my every move

If you could be a K-Pop idol, would you be? Whether or not you answer yes, would you date an idol?

no i wouldn’t because it’s too much of a sacrifice to give up everything and dedicate my life to the toxic industry. and personally no i wouldn’t unless i rly loved them and it happened naturally bc it’s again a huge sacrifice and it’s difficult on both ends

When it rains, are you inside watching from the window or outside twirling in the puddles?

inside haha i could never go outside during rain

If you could time travel to any time period, which would you choose?

maybe the late 80s or 90s.. it seemed like a lot of fun to interact with people without technology. drive in movies, cheap candy, rollerskating down the boardwalk, the fashion and music, the vibes

my questions:

what is your usual resting facial expression?

what was your favorite childhood cartoon?

would you ever have kids? if so, do you have any baby names ready?

whats your favorite way to talk to people? (irl, text, call, ft, etc)

what color fits your vibe and why?

what is your preferred way to be comforted? emotional support or finding a solution?

how long have you been on tumblr?

do you wash your clothes right after you buy them or right after you wear them?

do you have an ideal type or any celeb that matches your ideal type?

do you believe in soulmates?

you’re under no obligation to do this but tagging: @lovelyjsuh @nanasarea @neolights @jaemallow @jaetyhm @glossyjaems @cherrysung @yongiefilms @juyeonzz @lovingyong @gohyuck @longassride

#leyna.txt #leyna.tags #i have more i swearrr #txt

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writinginstardust · 4 years

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An Unexpected Christmas

Pairing: Alex Claremont-Diaz x reader

Prompt(s): my family invites you to join our holiday meal as an obvious setup and i’m so sorry

Warnings: pretty sure there’s some swearing

A/N: Thanks to @writingbychelle for requesting this prompt! As you can tell by the word count, I had a lot of fun with this one and got very carried away.

Word Count: 3484

The White House Christmas party could either be the most entertaining or dullest event of the year and it was in full swing right now. Fortunately this year it was erring on the side of entertaining, mostly due to the increased presence of people my own age. The White House trio in particular. They were respectable - you had to be - but by god were they good at livening up a bunch of boring politicians. The ones that needed a little livening anyway. Some, I knew, could do it on their own.

Alex, June, and Nora. I envied them sometimes. They always had each other and they positively shone in the spotlight, unlike me. I tended to slide into the background alone and for the most part I didn’t mind. I’d been dragged to these things for half my life, one or both of my parents having held high offices since Obama was first elected, and for most of those years there’d been no one my own age I’d really managed to make friends with. I’d always been alone at parties and desperately tried to hide from anyone who wanted to engage in any sort of political discussion or ask about my future. Which was just about everyone.

I knew my parents ambitions for me, everyone did. And they all would have assumed whether my parents had said a thing or not. But that was never what I wanted. It came as quite a shock when word got out that I was going to Georgetown to study art with a minor in creative writing. It’s funny. Maybe if I’d followed in my parents’ footsteps I’d actually be friends with Alex and not alone at this party.

It’s not as though I never spoke to any of them, we saw each other constantly at state functions where there generally weren’t many other young people to talk to since we were usually the only ones living in DC, but I knew I wasn’t exactly their first port of call for entertainment. They had each other and I had a 10 year old coping mechanism. And that was fine. It was all very fine. I was used to it. I just kind of wished things were different.

“(Y/N)!” June’s voice drew my attention and she beckoned me over to where she was talking to Nora and Alex.

“Hey,” I offered them all a smile when I reached them, noticing that June and Nora both looked way too pleased and Alex ever so slightly uncomfortable. Huh, that was odd.

“Enjoying the party?”

“It’s one of the better ones I’ve been to. Half the interns are already drunk as are the Attorney General and Defence Secretary and I heard someone mention karaoke so hopefully it will be spectacular.”

“Karaoke?” Nora asked in surprise.

“Yep. Wouldn’t be the first time.”

“I have a lot of questions.”

“And I have a lot I could tell you.”

“Not right now though.” June interrupted. Alex, surprisingly, hadn’t said anything yet. That was weird.

“You’re right. Ask her then,” Nora prompted. I looked back at June expectantly.

“Mom heard that you’re not going away with your parents for Christmas?”

“Unfortunately not. They get to enjoy the Bahamas and I’m stuck slaving over an assignment.” Normally I wouldn’t mind but my art professor had been in a rather cruel mood and set the class a 10,000 word paper and a large scale practical project right before Christmas break. All because someone laughed when he tripped on the way into class.

“Well, she wants to invite you to spend Christmas with us instead so you’re not all on your own. Unless you already made other plans, that is.”

“No...I, uh, had nothing planned.” Surprised at the invitation, the words were out of my mouth before I could really consider their consequences.

“So you’ll come? Mom is pretty insistent so if you’re saying no, I’m making you tell her yourself.” Well, looked like I was spending Christmas at the White House then. It’s difficult to say no to a president, especially when that president is Ellen Claremont.

“Yeah, sure.”

“Brilliant!” June was positively gleeful. “I’ll go tell mom.” She spun on her heel and took off to the other side of the room, Nora trailing behind her. That left me alone with Alex who was still uncharacteristically quiet.

“Are you alright?” I asked when the silence started getting awkward. “You haven’t said a word.”

“I am so so sorry.”

“Why?”

“Why on Earth did you say yes?” He asked rather than answering my question. “You must have realised what that was.”

And I had. It was a very obvious and deliberate attempt at a set-up. Just about everyone apparently thought that we’d be great for each other and I knew everyone badgered Alex about it all the time. Maybe that’s one of the reasons we’d never really managed to become proper friends. I didn’t have it so bad. I was an only child and most of the people I really cared to talk to knew very little about this part of my life. There was the odd comment from my parents but they knew by now that I wouldn’t just go along with what they planned or thought best for me. I’d overheard enough to know Alex wasn’t so lucky.

“They caught me off-guard. It’s not ideal, I know, but it’s better than the Christmas I was in for otherwise.”

“Sorry. I didn’t think about that. It’s going to be unbelievably awkward you know?”

“It doesn’t have to be.”

“How can it not be?”

“Just try to ignore it all.” I sighed. “Look, I know it will still be a bit awkward no matter what we do-”

“A bit? Do you realise how relentless my family are?”

“I know. But maybe we should just actually talk. Get to know each other a bit. It might make it more bearable.”

“Or less.”

“Alex, like it or not, we’re stuck in this situation now, we might as well make the best of it. Maybe this will give us a chance to actually become friends.”

“Friends, huh?”

“Yeah. I mean, if everyone thinks we should get together then there must be something compatible about us. We could try and be friends rather than having whatever this is.”

He knew what ‘this’ I was referring to. Whatever was between us. Neither of us really knew what it was or what to call it. We weren’t friends. It wasn’t some weird sexual tension. We were more than mere acquaintances too. A couple of young people in the same position who talked and occasionally got drunk together but had no significant attachment to each other (well…) was about the closest description. Whatever ‘this’ was, I didn’t want it.

“Okay. Let’s see how this goes.”

It went pretty well in the end.

I woke early on Christmas morning, hours before I needed to think about leaving for the White House, I always did. Trying to sleep again would be futile so I rolled out of bed and went to make myself pancakes, shooting off a quick message to Alex to check the time and what I should wear on the way. It was a valid question. Some people dressed up, some didn’t leave their pyjamas, I didn’t want to be over or underdressed. I put the kettle on and felt my phone buzz in my pocket. It was Alex. I had a text from him timestamped at 3am and it was 7am now. Did he sleep at all?

It was still weird - getting texts from Alex. He’d taken my suggestion of friends to heart and had been texting me about all sorts at all hours of the day and night for the past week. It was odd, but nice. And I - and by extension, everyone - was right. We had a lot in common.

I checked his text.

Alexander the not-so-great: I’m already up so come by whenever. Dinner at 1 though so before then.

Me: Okay. Making pancakes now, see you in a couple of hours?

Alexander the not-so-great: ...If I come over, can I have pancakes?

Me: Sure.

I froze. Had I seriously just invited him over for breakfast? I read the text again. Yes. Yes, I had. Okay. This wasn’t weird at all. Too late to do anything about it now though.

10 minutes later I heard a car pulling up outside. That would be him.

“Merry Christmas!” I smiled as I opened the door for him, trying to look as if I wasn’t freaking out a bit at this turn of events.

“Hey,” he smiled back and I swear that smile didn’t used to do the things it was doing to me now.

“Come in, food is nearly ready.” I stepped back so he and one of his security team could come inside. I couldn’t help feeling bad for the woman that was stuck coming out here with him so early in the morning.

Breakfast turned out not to be as awkward as I’d anticipated, in fact it was quite nice. I hadn’t actually seen Alex since the Christmas party last week but thankfully we were getting on as well in person as we had been over text. Better, even.

“Okay, I need to go take a shower,” I said when we’d finished washing up our plates. “Wi-Fi password is on the router in the living room through there if you want it. Just make yourself at home while I get ready.” We wandered out into the hall and I started up the stairs before pausing and adding. “Guest bathroom is at the end of the hall upstairs and the door next to it is the guest room, you can use anything you need in there. There’s towels and stuff if you need a shower or anything.”

“Is this your way of telling me I stink?” He asked with a teasing smile.

“No worse than usual.” I grinned back and finished climbing the stairs, Alex’s laughter following me until my bedroom door shut between us.

I tried to get ready quickly, feeling as though I was keeping him waiting somehow even though he’d said there was no rush. I managed to shower in record time but that was all I got done quickly. Everything seemed to have gone missing, my hairbrush, moisturiser, toothbrush - which I could have sworn I left charging on my desk, and half my clothes. Maybe I should have tidied my room a bit over the past few weeks, but to be fair, I had a lot of work to do and keeping my things tidy wasn’t much of a priority.

Kicking a pile of clothes to the side, I freed my underwear draw and managed to find a clean set to wear. That was something at least. I looked in my wardrobe, at what was the only selection of clothes I knew for sure were clean, and tried to find an outfit in there somewhere. There was a cute dress or two, but I still wasn’t sure if that was too formal, and a few paint covered t-shirts, some jeans, all my party clothes, and a few shirts. I could probably find something that would work but I needed to check with Alex first. I tried texting him but he didn’t answer. Of course the one time I needed a reply, he was ignoring his phone.

With a huff, I threw on my bathrobe and went downstairs to find him. He wasn’t in the living room or the kitchen and his security was still here so he hadn’t left. I asked her if she knew where he was and she told me he’d gone to the bathroom. Thanking her, I padded back upstairs to intercept him on his way out. That turned out to be a mistake.

The bathroom door opened and Alex stepped out. Apparently he’d taken me up on my offer of the shower and I was having a hard time deciding if I was happy about that or not. On the one hand, the sight of him still slightly damp with water dripping from his hair and a towel slung low on his hips was fucking glorious. On the other, the sight of him like that was probably going to kill me.

I could feel my cheeks burning as I tried and failed to keep my eyes on his face and not his annoyingly toned abs but I could tell he noticed as he smirked at me. Asshole.

“Can I do something for you?” Yeah. He could take the fucking towel off. I swallowed those words that got alarmingly close to spilling out of my mouth.

“Yeah. I wanted to ask what I should wear. I’m a bit low on options but I don’t want to be overdressed or anything.”

“What have you got?” And I definitely shouldn’t have, especially not now, but I gestured for him to come into my room and take a look.

“Sorry about the mess. It’s not usually like this,” I apologised when I saw how taken aback he looked. I pointed at my open wardrobe. “That’s the only stuff I know for sure is clean.” He considered for a moment before pulling out one of the slightly more casual party dresses along with a cardigan.

“This should be fine. Don’t bother with heels or anything though, just put some sneakers with it.”

“Thanks.” I took the clothes from him and shooed him away. “Go away now. I can’t get dressed with you in here.”

“You sure?” He winked and I smacked his arm, rolling my eyes.

“If I’d have known this was what being your friend entailed, I never would have suggested it.”

“That hurts.”

“You’ll live. Now go get dressed.”

“Sure you want me to?” He winked at me again and in all honesty, I wasn’t sure but I needed him to if I was going to stay sane.

“Oh my god, just go.” He grinned at me one last time before I shut the door on him and let out a deep breath. Alex Claremont-Diaz was going to be the absolute death of me.

We got to the White House just before nine and the rest of the family were up and waiting in the living room. And that was something interesting to walk into. Never in my life did I think I’d see President Ellen Claremont half asleep on the floor in her pyjamas. There were some very meaningful looks aimed our way when we walked in together and I could tell we were both regretting turning up at the same time. It was too late to do anything about it though.

“So that’s where you disappeared off to this morning,” June said with a smirk.

“Well I had to do something while I waited for you all to wake up.” There were raised eyebrows at that and Alex froze for a moment as he realised how that might have sounded. “That’s not what I meant and you know it.”

No one bothered to respond to that and just shifted to make space on the floor by the tree for us, failing to repress their smirks when they basically forced us to sit together. Alex really hadn’t been exaggerating about how bad his family was with this.

I was pleasantly surprised to find that everyone had got me gifts to, and good ones. They apparently knew me better than I’d thought. Thankfully I’d managed to find something for everyone too, though I doubted my gifts were quite as good. But it’s the thought that counts after all.

Soon after the presents were done everyone headed back to their rooms to get dressed, once again leaving Alex and I alone. I didn’t miss the wink June threw our way as she left and pointedly shut the door behind her. I kind of wanted to die.

“I am definitely starting to understand why you seemed so horrified by this idea,” I groaned when the door clicked shut.

“I did warn you.”

“Yeah, after I’d already agreed.”

“You could have just said there was a change of plan.”

“You try telling your mother that.”

“...Okay, you have a point.” I sighed and laid down on the rug.

“It could be worse. At least they’re not saying anything embarrassing yet.”

“Give them time.”

“That sounds ominous.”

“With good reason. I hope you’re ready for this.” And, like a fool, I thought I was.

Christmas lunch passed agonisingly slowly with meaningful glances thrown both my way and Alex’s from Zahra and every member of the family. The food was great though and it was still enjoyable when I was able to ignore the looks and immerse myself in the conversation but even that didn’t last long. Leo just had to ask about both our love lives. Alex managed to field most of the questions and more than once I saw him shoot his family murderous looks which made them drop it for a few minutes. I appreciated the attempts.

Drinking and ridiculous games followed for the rest of the day and I lost track of time, enjoying everyone’s company even if they were still giving us looks and comments. I found myself minding less and less the longer I was there though. It sure wouldn’t be the worst thing to get together with Alex and honestly the idea was becoming very appealing.

11pm rolled around. Eyes started drooping, conversations died down, and murmurs about heading to bed started up. I was half asleep myself, leaning on Alex’s shoulder and not really caring anymore what anyone might think, and dreading the prospect of getting up and making my way home. I’d gotten a lift with Alex from my house and I was regretting it now. Either I’d have to trouble someone for a lift home or walk. Neither option seemed great but I’d have to pick soon. The longer I stayed there, the harder it was getting to move.

Ellen and Leo stood and announced they were heading to bed and I decided that probably meant I should leave too, no matter how much I didn’t want to. I shifted and started to get up but Ellen stopped me.

“(Y/N), honey, it’s late, you can stay here tonight.” There was only the faintest smirk on her face now so I knew the offer was more out of care than the family’s attempt to set Alex and I up.

“Oh, uh, thanks.” She smiled and left, Leo following with Zahra close behind. I hesitated for another few moments. I probably shouldn’t stay but the option was incredibly tempting.

“You don’t have to stay if you don’t want to,” Alex said quietly. I looked over at him and he was smiling slightly, the look on his face softer than any I’d ever seen before. “But I’d like you to.” There was something strangely vulnerable in his voice and I found myself agreeing to stay without thinking.

“Okay.” He grinned and stood up, much more himself now.

“I’ll show you to a guest room.” We both pretended not to notice the smirks on both Oscar and June’s faces as we left. I didn’t have the energy left for conversation so we walked through the residence in comfortable silence until we finally arrived at a door that looked just like every other.

“Well, goodnight I guess.” Alex finally spoke again. “I hope today wasn’t too awful.”

“It was actually really nice.” I smiled sleepily at him.

“Even with all...that?” He gestured vaguely to indicate his family.

“It wasn’t so bad.” I mean, it totally was but being with Alex had been worth it.

“I’m glad. It was nice having you here.” I tried to ignore the way my heart swooped at that but it was difficult in my tired state. “I’m just along the hall in the east bedroom if you need anything and I basically never sleep so don’t worry about disturbing me.”

“Thanks Alex. And thanks for today.”

“You’re welcome. Goodnight.” And then, quite unexpectedly - though maybe if I’d been paying more attention it would have been less of a surprise, he leaned in and kissed me. Just lightly, his lips soft and warm against my own for a few brief moments before he pulled away with a soft smile. “Sleep well, (Y/N).”

He turned and headed to bed himself, leaving me standing dumbly in the hall, surprise rooting me to the spot. After a few seconds spent staring after him I finally shook myself out of it, turning the doorknob and slipping inside the guest room. My whole body felt warm and molten and I collapsed on the bed, mind swirling with thoughts of Alex. Today hadn’t been what I expected but it was better than I dreamed. Maybe being set up wasn’t so bad after all.

Tag Lists: (send an ask if you want to be added!)

Everything: @wonderfilledness @writingbychelle @ad-astraaaa @moderngenius94

#rwrb #red white and royal blue #alex claremont diaz #alex claremont diaz x reader #alex claremont-diaz imagine #alex claremont-diaz fanfic #alex claremont-diaz x you #rwrb imagine #rwrb fanfic #red white and royal blue fanfic #red white and royal blue imagine #reader insert

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homosociallyyours · 4 years

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@ha-larry-us and @livqueer tagged me to do this! Here we go :)

1. what is the colour of your hairbrush? light amber wood color

2. a food you never eat? beets, tho i keep trying

3. are you typically too warm or too cold? neither, usually my body regulates temp well. but being sick that’s a little different and i never know if i’ll be shivering or having a hot flash

4. what were you doing 45 minutes ago? going back and forth between instagram and tumblr

5. what is your favourite candy bar? uhh maybe a snickers or a 100 grand bar

6. have you ever been to a professional sports event? i went to the Oakland A’s gay day a few years ago with co-workers. It was really fun!! but i could never attend a serious sports event to cheer for a winning team.

7. what is the last thing you said out loud? "come on, ding dong, you can do it” --said to my dog who was hesitating jumping down off the chair where she’d sat while i washed my dishes

8. what is your favourite ice cream? McConnell’s salted caramel and chocolate flake. or anything that’s a mascarpone or goat cheese base. yum.

9. what was the last thing you had to drink? decaf yorkshire with milk

10. do you like your wallet? YES! i have a scarf that has a secret pocket in it! it holds cards and other small essentials and it’s very sneaky.

11. what was the last thing you ate? granola with milk

12. did you buy any new clothes last weekend? nah bruh i haven’t bought new clothes in ages!

13. the last sporting event you watched? i watched the last season of GLOW when it came out. that’s as close as i get.

14. what is your favourite flavour of popcorn? chicago mix babyyyy! cheddar and caramel together at last.

15. who is the last person you sent a text message to? my housemate, it was the landlord’s contact info

16. ever go camping? YES, and i miss it!! i used to camp regularly and really love my pseudo-glamping life: cooler full of good food, a double high air mattress, and a tent that allows you to stand up in the center (to change clothes). i haven’t gone since coming to california, which is a total bummer.

17. do you take vitamins? yes, vit. D and fish oil daily, ideally i would have a good multi, PS, and maybe a couple other things, but i can’t afford them all right now. my minimum is a D though, since yr body really does NOT get it from sun exposure. i know it sounds silly but vitamins are basically the concrete you pour in a hole to stabilize a beam (yr food). they’re very good and they help a lot!

18. do you go to church every sunday? NO, thank goodness! i even stopped having to go with my family when i visit them.

19. do you have a tan? no, and i rarely do. SPF all the way.

20. do you prefer Chinese food or pizza? pizza please

21. do you drink your soda with a straw? only fountain sodas with ice

22. what colour socks do you usually wear? bright/mixed colors

23. do you ever drive above the speed limit? occasionally, but i’m pretty careful and definitely don’t do it in residential areas.

24. what terrifies you? zombies (seriously) and loss/lack of control of myself

25. look to your left, what do you see? the side of the couch and the blank wall.

26. what chore do you hate? doing the dishes

27. what do you think of when you hear an Australian accent? the crocodile hunter

28. what’s your favourite soda? cherry coke or dublin dr. pepper (the cane sugar kind made in texas) orrrr cheerwine

29. do you go in a fast food place or just hit the drive-thru? i drive thru everywhere except in-n-out, where it often takes less time to walk in.

30. who’s the last person you talked to? my housemate and i had a little conversation, but i messaged with my bff earlier and that was a real conversation.

31. favourite cut of beef? umm i really like cooking a ny strip, but i don’t necessarily have a favorite

32. last song you listened to? "fancy” as sung by bobbie gentry bc instagram didn’t have the reba version. WHICH IS UNACCEPTABLE, just so you know.

33. last book you read? my friends, i have a confession. i haven’t read an actual book in ages. i used to read A LOT and then when i got sick it was like my brain said NO THANK YOU and i just stopped. i still read loads, it’s just mostly fic or articles. that being said, i just finished i must admit i thought i’d like to make you mine by @disgruntledkittenface and it was EXCELLENT.

34. favourite day of the week? Thursdays. like for as long as i can remember. it was hamburger day when i was a kid, and now it’s thursday hersday. and of course it was must see tv night all thru my adolescence.

35. can you say the alphabet backwards? i mean i probably could but why would i want to?

36. how do you like your coffee? with whole milk (and if i’m doing it myself, a little cinnamon, a pinch of salt, and a pinch of sugar)

37. favourite pair of shoes? my dog face flats (they’re bob’s for dogs, you can maybe google them) even tho they are really worn out now

38. at what time do you normally go to bed? between 4-7am. i am a cryptid, please do not look at me

39. at what time do you normally get up? between 2-5pm, again i beg you to look away and judge me not

40. what do you prefer, sunrise or sunsets? sunsets!! (SAME!!)

41. how many blankets are on your bed? 4 right now. 2 super soft, 1 electric, and 1 duvet/comforter.

42. describe your kitchen plates? the classic 70s/80s unbreakable plates, some with the gold flowers around the rim and some with the tiny olive green ones. truly i think i have only seen a plate like this break once in my entire life. i bought these at a store in nyc (i definitely overpaid BUT it was still like $20 for 6 or 8 plates that will never break)

43. do you have a favourite alcoholic beverage? a properly made sidecar is HEAVEN, ok? so good!! but you gotta use good brandy and fresh lemons and i would get one if i could go back to my fave nyc bar and have pietro (a very good bartender) make me one. but really the thing that i will always want and have difficulty turning down is champagne/sparkling wine in the style of champagne.

44. do you play cards? yes! i used to play all the time with my ex. don’t so much any more but i still love it when i get to!

45. what colour is your car? dark orange

46. can you change a tire? YES!! @ha-larry-us when the quarantine is done I will show you!! it really isn’t too hard unless your bolts are on super tight.

47. what is your favourite state/province? California, i think. though part of me wants to name a southern state because I was born there and the mountains feel like home.

48. favourite job you’ve ever had? the one i currently have but am physically unable to work at right now-- cheesemonger at a worker owned grocery store

49. how did you get your biggest scar? i was borrowing stage makeup from a friend in another dorm before our choir performance. the door was usually propped open, and so when i left the building i sorta jogged down the steps and pushed really hard on the door with my momentum. it was NOT propped open, and I put my right arm through the glass (and knocked out two more panes with my knee and foot). the RA was training to be an EMT and helped me get cleaned up. I didn’t get stitches, but the scar is very long (maybe 3 inches). the best part of the story is that i went to make sure the choir director knew i wasn’t performing but would sit in the audience, and her response was “we don’t have time to give you sympathy.” she was having a rough year but DAMN that was an ice cold response to an injured 18 year old.

50. what did you do today that made someone else happy? hmm probably just chatting with my bff. that makes both of us happy, always.

IDK WHO TO TAG!!! who is the sort of person to answer 50 random questions?? @alienfuckeronmain maybe? how about @slowdownsugar? hmm maybe @crinkle-eyed-boo and uhh @pompomoffinland. And you, friend!! YOU who is sitting there really wishing you were tagged, I am definitely tagging you!!

#about me #50 questions #text post #long post #alcohol mention #injury mention #this took me back to the old livejournal days

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jodellejournals · 4 years

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little mermaid days

an hour away from my hometown city, a municipality called san joaquin peacefully exists and humbly thrives. it is located at the southern tip of iloilo and it was way back 2005 when we spontaneously walked on its shores until we found an empty lot. it was love at first sight at the scenery that struck us so my tita bought that piece of land. a year later, it became our family beach house. long weekends, summer breaks, birthdays, and anniversaries started to be spent and celebrated there and so it became a home away from the city where i lived my little mermaid dreams. as some of you know, i have always been fascinated by mermaids and their happy-go-lucky life — just swimming, brushing their hair with forks, being friends with crabs and almost all sea creatures, and away from the harsh and cruel human world. i’m such an escapist, i know, but that’s who i am. i have mentioned in one of my previous entries that my favorite disney princess is ariel from the little mermaid so living in a beach house during weekends made me feel like one. thankfully, no ursula was there but only eels. and sometimes, they come for free. a family friend of ours who does business in the area gives us free seafood and we all know it tastes better when it’s free! but i don’t eat eels! they’re not my thing. i only enjoy fresh fishes and prawns. they’re good although i am allergic to the latter one. i am scared of how oysters look like, on the other hand, so i just pass them around. that’s too much food already so let me share to you instead how life was like in the sea side.

usually, we’d leave our ancestral house in the city by 8am although we have originally planned to depart at 7am. filipino time, you know. if there will be plenty of us (cousins from first to third degrees, extended aunts and uncles, nieces and nephews who were tagged along, and some househelp), we’d go in three batches. if we’re a small bunch, one or two batches would be enough. i always pick the car where cousins my age were at and i’d be lounging in the backseat with my pillow, a bag of cheetos or chippy, bottled water, and earphones. life is good. and i’m all set for a cozy hour of car ride. bye-bye, city! whilst on the road, i’d always (and i mean always), look in the window as if i’m in a summer adventure movie like aquamarine. the usual sights were centuries-old churches, spanish colonnial houses, pastry shops, local malls and resorts. all of which were very familiar to me since i grew up passing by them but they still seemed anew each time i laid my eyes. i marveled at my city. it is such beauty. there is really no place like home. then thirty to forty minutes later, my eyes were greeted by palm trees, zigzag roads, little nipa restaurants, and just a bit further, the glittering sea under the piercing rays of sun came into our perfect view. san joaquin, being a southern municipality, is abundant in natural resources. so the closer you get there, the closer you are to mother nature. it’s like a secret hiding place for me — almost like narnia — where i can unwind with birds, fishes, cows, and dogs to name a few. some cows were literally on the road so we make sure that we don’t go way too fast even if there’s no traffic. cows have their agendas, too, so let’s not get in their way. then if we’d get a bit hungry because breakfast was usually prepared upon arriving at the beach house, we’d stop over at a famous bakery shop called nang palang’s pies. a trip to san joaquin is usually never completed without buying boxes of their signature buko pie. delicious, warm, and well-suited for the tropical weather. i’d take half-bites so as to not be full when real breakfast arrives. then after attempts of dozing into a nap and avoiding cows and their agendas, we’d finally arrive at our vacation home.

upon opening the car door, the crashing sound of the waves welcomed us warmly and the buzzing of the crickets, too! i can already feel my tan slowly coming out of my skin. i don’t know why but beaches make everything seem glisten and glitter. the air smelled of fresh leaves and trees mixed with saltiness from the sea. i love that earth smell! by that time, i’d instinctively hear the sea calling my name. it’s shining there few steps away from me, after all. no worries mr. sea, me and my cousins were already in our swimsuits. we were that excited and ready. we have learned from previous visits to be always prepared with the right attire because the sea calling exempts nobody. and the bangka at the shore (that is usually a property of our caretaker) only tempted us more to go for a sunny boat ride. the adults could no longer do anything if we jumped in and rowed that boat! forget the sunscreen, the little children in us back then used to not care much about our skin. playtime was more important and twice the fun at the beach. so one time, my mother called us for breakfast but we were already dipped in the not-so-deep blue sea and basked under the yellow san joaquin sun. too late, chocolate!

but if she triumphed in stopping us, me and my cousins would have an afternoon swim instead. by 3:30pm, usually refreshed from our nap, we were in the perfect mood to be little mermaids. folding chairs in happy colors perched at the shore and tall beach umbrellas stood firmly. now we have sandy toes that made us forget our childish woes. we’d create sand castles or write our names in the sand using sticks. it would stay there for the sky to look upon until a giant wave would wash them all away. gone was any trace of our masterpiece but that’s okay, we always love the sea. then some children at our age would pass by us. they hold with them crystal bottles that looked like one of those that ursula had with potion, weirdly-shaped but pretty-colored stones, kites, and biscuits or chips. i guess it’s their playtime, too. no, they’re not lost wandering anywhere the wind takes them but local residents just roaming around their village. yes, our beach house was at the sea side where many houses of the locals stood firm. when we talked to those children about the place, they knew every twist and turn, how long it would take to get to the next island or village, or how much the goods there cost. these children, small they may be, but mighty is their knowledge. i could not even commute properly until now without asking for some guides and directions! but them, they are like dora’s map that memorized each corner by heart. how wonderful are the lives of these people? living by the sea, breathing fresh air, and swimming in the waters anytime they want. they do fishing for a living and it’s not even a nine-to-six job. clearly, there is work-life balance. the best things in life are indeed, free. so why do we even picture a life in the city? a simple life calls for a simple way of living. but jodelle, you know deep down inside, that each parent wants their children to live a life with the best things that this world has to offer. how? by getting a good education, earning money, investing on insurance, building your own place, exploring countries, and meeting new faces to name a few. that’s how it’s always been painted to us. but what if, once in a while, we just retreat to nature and immerse in a homemade and handmade kind of life? i’d gladly consider that option.

anyway, going back to my story, me and my cousins would start swimming by 4pm right after our encounter with the locals. for me, it’s the ideal swimming time because there was no more blazing heat but only breezing winds. and it would not also be long enough until it’s sunset o’clock! so one afternoon, i laid down by the shore wearing my navy blue swimsuit with yellow flowers on it and my back felt the soft sand and each time the waves kissed the shore. relaxing, soothing, calming. i can just stay here forever, i remember thinking. and while laying there, my only view was the clear sky. it was not blue that time but clear white with some fading yellows on the sides from the noon that has passed. how vast is this celestial body? does it ever end? the world is so big and i felt so small — but free as well. then a flock of chirping birds came into my view and i didn’t mind. i enjoyed them, in fact. they seemed so happy and at peace. isn’t it beautiful how bodies of water, vast skies, and living creatures just harmoniously coexist together? god really created everything perfectly. i stayed laying there a bit longer and saw the sky changed to a different shade in its own pace. just like us humans. another thought came across my mind but it was a bit silly. wild guess? i pretended the sand was snow and created a sand angel! it was not that bad upon checking the outcome. shortly, i called my cousin, dianne, and told her my blissful and happy experience. i can’t be selfish and enjoy the wonders of the shores all to myself, right? so she also laid beside me, created her own sand angel, and we looked up to the sky above, enjoying our moment of peace and quiet. we closed our eyes for a bit and meditated. just two pisces girls being spiritual. but not too long though, because strong waves took us back to our reality.

by that time, the sun was already setting and hues of oranges, pinks, and purples painted the sky. i’m not a swimmer so i just sat at a huge rock in the waters, pretended i had a tail, and parted my wet hair into half just like how mermaids do it. i’d look at the horizon, check ships from afar, observe small boats nearby, and when i look down on my toes, little nemos were there happily swimming. being in nature really makes me feel alive. then as we came out of the waters, the fishermen were also docking their bangkas and pulling their fishing nets. they had a bountiful catch which was enough to feed their family. that signaled me and my cousins that it was time to wash up in the bathroom for dinner will soon be served. expectedly, our viand would be grilled fish to be dipped in soy sauce, calamansi, and chilli peppers and we’d pair it with warm sticky rice. when we were full, we’d leave the ground floor for the adults to play mahjong and climb our way to the second floor to share stories. sometimes, we’d play cards or read books through our iphones. The television did not appeal much to us when we were there. and when midnight came, we’d munch on a bag of doritos for snacks and drink leftover red wine that was usually from our previous visit. all while the airconditioner was on full blast. i miss that kind of comfortable. a little bit later, we’d turn off some of the lights but it wasn’t completely dark. the moon that shone above was enough to give us light and it seeped through our room that was guarded by a sliding glass door. it overlooked the sea 24/7 and we never got tired of that view. when daylight came, there was no need for an alarm clock because the sound of the ocean waves that sweetly lulled us to sleep last night would gently wake us up in the morning sun, too. coming with the terms of nature and its cycles enabled me to be aware of what part of the day it already was. so that’s when i knew it’s time for brunch because the sun was way too high up in the sky. we’d then go on with the day just like how we spent yesterday until we were due to be back in the city.

oh, happy times. it was simpler back then. it used to even feel like days would always be like that forever but look at me now. i’m miles away from where i consider home and “living” a so-called adult life “the way it should be” — working at the office, paying insurance, constructing emails. all those stuff. when did life become like this? did i forget how to have a heart and eyes of a child? i hope not. but being in your twenties can easily get you in a trap especially if there is no time to take a pause and reflect. sometimes, it’s easier to be just a child — forgiving, carefree, light-hearted, full of wonder, and pure in every way. all would be well again after a good cry. but then i have always known that i can forever remain a kid at heart no matter how old i age. i just have to make sure that she’s within me safely guarded at all costs so the world would never harden her. i am glad she still remains soft when i look at her closely. she still has those eyes full of wonder with a carefree heart that carries happy childhood memories from her little mermaid days.

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keanubot · 5 years

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I Love You Like The Sun Came Out (Keanu Reeves/Reader) Chapter 2

WELL i’ve been gone for a little while and i hope you guys don’t uhhhh hate me or anything fsdkhfsd i wouldn’t blame you if you did but oh well. basically the past few months have been kinda difficult for me and i stopped writing for a little bit. but my inspiration is slowly coming back to me and i was finally able to finish a new chapter of this fic for you. thank you so much for being so patient, you truly have no idea how much it’s meant to me 💖

okay, enough rambling. here’s the new chapter!! let me know what you think!!

warnings: none for this chapter

word count: about 3.5k

The first two weeks of your new job are… interesting, to say the least. When you first applied you’d had no idea that feeding the koi fish would mean having to drive back and forth to the house eight times a day, and you certainly hadn’t factored in the sheer amount of plants to water. How Keanu has managed to accumulate so many remains a mystery to you, and keeping track of all their schedules is somehow even more difficult than the actual watering. Some need daily care, some need watering twice a week, some once every two weeks, etc. You wonder if you’ll ever be able to remember it all.

The actual cleaning probably takes up the least of your time, which is definitely a relief. His bathrooms are all spotless anyway, and since you’re the only one going in and out every day, the floors are clean. You have to admit, it feels kind of good to enter such a big house every day, especially after driving from your relatively small and crowded apartment. Your roommates haven’t really asked you much about the job; they lost interest when you told them Keanu wouldn’t be back for a month. Typical.

For the first two weeks, your days go like this:

You drive your shitty car to Keanu’s house at 7am – about an hour long drive which is beyond annoying, but you’re trying not to dwell on that. You let yourself in and immediately go to the fish, grabbing their food from the crate by the pond and standing over the water. The first time you’d fed them you were completely in awe, their little mouths popping up above the water and opening wide for their meal. You’d watched in fascination as they devoured every single bite.

You still do, to be honest. It’s been almost two weeks and you’re still not over the sheer beauty of them. It’s more than a little difficult not to give them names, but you don’t want to intrude your own ideas on someone else’s pets. (Even though you’ve secretly already named the black one with glittery gold specks – your favorite – Cosmo. But no one has to know that.)

After feeding the fish you trail through the house and water the plants that need daily care; most of them are in the kitchen which is the brightest and most dry room in the house. There’s also a bonsai tree in the library that makes you a bit nervous; the instructions you’d been given had said to water it based on the dryness of the soil, which is much harder to judge than you thought it would be. At this point you’re just hoping that you don’t accidentally kill something.

So that’s how your day goes, every single day. In between your fish feeding shifts you try to stay close to the house, not wanting to go all the way back home only to have to make the same drive back. You end up spending a lot of time at a nearby Starbucks, scrolling through your phone and looking at casting calls that might be available to you. So far you have two new auditions set up, both for commercials. It’s not ideal – god, completely far from it – but it’s something.

Part of you wishes you could just…stay at Keanu’s house all day. Despite being big, it’s so cozy; you can’t help but feel at home there. But you know that would be inappropriate, not to mention creepy. Still, you can’t help but wish you could; you’ve fallen in love with the house, even though it’s only been two weeks. Every time you’ve been in the library all you’ve wanted to do is settle on the couch and read a book. Make a cup of tea in the kitchen. Try out one of those bass guitars in the music room. Organize that ridiculously messy office.

But you can’t, so there’s not much else you can really do. You’d already wiped down the kitchen and bathrooms on your first day, as well as dusted everything. But you still need to come back three more times to feed the fish, which is by far the only negative thing about this job. Because your car is shit. Absolute shit.

But you do it. Because it’s the job, and it could be so much worse. That’s what you keep telling yourself, anyway.

That is… until the last day of your second week.

You’re almost at Keanu’s house – your last trip of the day – when you notice that your car is going much slower than usual. You know it can’t be a gas problem because you’d just filled it up this morning, and when the hood begins to emit large amounts of thick smoke, you know something’s wrong. You suddenly find yourself on the side of the road, head in your hands as you wait for a tow truck you can’t afford.

You shouldn’t have told his assistant you had reliable transportation, you think to yourself as the tow truck pulls up, but hindsight isn’t going to get you out of this situation. Twenty minutes and over a hundred dollars in towing fees later, you’re being picked up by Alexis, one of your roommates – very exasperated at this interruption in her day – and then making an urgent phone call to a car repair service employee who informs you that just getting an estimate on your repairs will cost 150 dollars. By the time you’re pulling into Keanu’s driveway, it’s an understatement to say that you’re feeling incredibly defeated.

“Just give me ten minutes,” you say, opening the car door, “I’m gonna feed the fish and call his assistant.”

She stares at you, “Couldn’t you just…pretend to do it? I mean, come on, how much food do fish really need?”

And therein lies the difference between you and your roommates, “No, I really should, they get hungry pretty fast.”

“Okay, well hopefully you still have a job when you come out.” Alexis replies, and you can’t tell if she’s trying to be helpful or not. You close the door and head towards the house, then hear her calling out to you, “Can I come in and look around?”

You grimace, turning back to look at her, “Uh, no, that’s not allowed, sorry.” You actually have no idea if it’s allowed or not, but the idea of having one of your roommates in what has become a very calm space for you makes you pretty uncomfortable. You don’t need that energy following you to work.

You make your way out to the koi pond and grab some food from their crate, heading over to the water and sitting cross legged in front of it. You start shaking bits of food into the hungry mouths of the fish below, unable to stop yourself from smiling at them as they eat despite feeling shitty as hell right now. You spot Cosmo and reach down to run your index finger along his scales. You do feel a little guilty for naming someone else’s fish, but apparently not enough to stop you.

“Well, babies…time to seal my fate,” you sigh, reaching your hand back and taking out your phone. “Depending on how this phone call goes, I might not be your temporary mama for much longer.”

After one last moment of hesitation, you scroll through your contacts and find Keanu’s assistant, pressing the phone icon and bringing it to your ear. After a few long beeps – and a few seconds of desperately hoping she won’t answer – her voice is suddenly in your ear.

“Y/N! I’ve been meaning to check in, I’m glad you called!”

You’re suddenly hit with a small wave of relief when you realize she seems to be in a good mood. The last thing you need is making an already irritated person even more irritated.

“Hi! Yeah, it’s going well, I just finished feeding the fish for the day.”

“Great! And I’m guessing you’ve become accustomed to the house now? Know where everything is?”

“Yep,” you stand up and walk over to the food crate, placing what’s left back inside, “It’s a beautiful house, I love it here.”

“That’s good to hear. Listen, I don’t really have much time to chat-” Of course, “-but if there’s something you need, go ahead!”

“Well, there is – uh – one thing.”

“What’s that?”

You cringe, taking a deep breath and shoving a hand in the pocket of your hoodie, “Well, unfortunately I ran into a bit of car trouble today.”

“Oh, that’s too bad, I’m sorry.” She still doesn’t sound irritated; you wonder how long that will last.

“Thank you, yeah, there’s something wrong with the engine, I think? I talked to a mechanic but he needs to take a look at it before he can pinpoint the problem. I’m gonna have to put it in the shop to get fixed.” You take a deep breath, “I’m not sure for how long exactly.”

“That is too bad. Do you have alternative transportation? We can easily accommodate that if you need it.”

You freeze, eyes widening in surprise, “Wait, really?”

“I’m sure we can figure something out, yes. I’ll contact Keanu and get a second opinion but I’m sure he’ll be on board.”

“I- wow, thank you so much.”

“You sound surprised,” his assistant says, laughing lightly, “I hope you didn’t think he’d fire you over something like that.”

“Well, I-” you shake your head, dumbfounded, “Yeah, I guess so,” you laugh to yourself, “I mean, I haven’t met him yet, so…”

She just laughs again, “Well, let me tell you, he’ll probably get a real kick out of that.”

Oh, god. Would she really tell him that? You want to ask if she’s joking or not but you don’t want to push your luck, totally relieved by how easy this conversation has gone.

“I’m gonna have to let you go unfortunately, but I’ll get in touch with you tomorrow morning and we’ll figure out the details. Good talking to you!” She hangs up before you can say goodbye, but it doesn’t even bother you. You’re just in complete awe of the fact that you still have a job.

Maybe you’re stupid for thinking you’d lose it to begin with, but you never know with celebrities. You’ve heard many a horror story about certain actors in the industry and the way they treat their employees; you suppose you just happen to be one of the lucky ones.

You take one last look at the fish and then head back through the house to the entrance. Alexis is still waiting in the car, focused on her phone as you open the passenger door and slip inside.

“Well, I still have a job.”

No response. She holds a finger up and continues to text with her other hand, then hits send and looks up at you, “Sorry, what?”

You’re too relieved to even be annoyed.

-----

You sleep pretty peacefully, still a little unsure of what transportation arrangements are going to be made for you in the morning, but not enough to keep you awake. You end up having a dream about The Matrix which leaves you feeling a bit strange when you wake up, still trying to process the fact that Neo is now your boss. The ridiculousness is laughable, but you don’t have time to think about it – the reason you woke up is because your phone is ringing.

You look at the time – 5:47am. Your alarm is set for 6 so it’s not much of an inconvenience, but you squint at the phone number lit up on the screen, trying to figure out who it is. You don’t recognize it, but it could be the repair shop you’d put your car into last night, so you clear your throat from sleep and bring it to your ear.

“Hello?” you sound groggy and tired, but you doubt a mechanic is going to care about that.

“Hi, is this Y/N?” a male voice responds, slightly hoarse like yours but very soft.

“Yes,” you reply, unable to stop a yawn from escaping your mouth, “God, sorry.”

“I hope I didn’t wake you.”

“No, I was already up,” you lie, not wanting to seem rude, “Is this about my car?” You sit up in bed, swinging your legs over the side and walking over to your window to pull apart the curtains.

“Yeah, I wanted to get in touch with you about everything; my assistant filled me in. This is Keanu Reeves, by the way.”

You feel the phone drop from your fingers and you’re barely able to catch it before it hits the floor, heart suddenly racing. Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck. You turn away from the window and spot your reflection in the mirror; your face has gone pale.

Well, you certainly hadn’t been expecting this. Pull yourself together, you tell yourself, before putting the phone back to your ear – thankfully your minor freak out had actually only lasted a few seconds.

“Oh, hi, I wasn’t expecting to hear from you directly,” you honestly surprise yourself with the calmness of your voice, sounding pleasant and casual even though your heart feels like it’s about to burst through your chest, “I’m so used to talking to your assistant.”

He laughs lightly, and there’s a child-like quality to it that you like, “Yeah, I’m sorry about that. I’ve been working for the past little bit and haven’t had much time to sort all this stuff out. She’s better at it than me anyway.”

You laugh, feeling your tension ease a bit. You already feel like you’re talking to an acquaintance, not a boss, and it’s quite comforting.

“Anyway, it’s too bad about your car, I hate when that happens,” he chuckles softly again, “If I was in LA I’d probably have a look at it for you, save you the trouble.”

“And the money.” You say, not really thinking about the fact that you’re literally talking to a millionaire who probably hasn’t had to worry about money since he was twenty.

“That too,” he agrees, a smile in his voice “Well, since you’re in a bit of a pickle I just wanted to call you myself and give you a couple options that Candice and I kind of brainstormed last night.”

Candice. That’s his assistants name. You feel guilty for not remembering it until now but it’s not like you’ve been working with her every day.

“Lay ‘em on me.” You reply, and wince immediately at your obvious awkwardness.

Keanu laughs again – he’s a very giggly person, you realize, which you honestly never would have expected, “Well,” he puts a lot of emphasis on the word, you can still hear that he’s smiling, “We can set you up with a rental, probably something that’ll make you look really cool, make everybody jealous, all that jazz…”

You snort and then cringe at the sound of it, but he doesn’t seem to find it obnoxious, continuing talking like there was no disruption.

“Or, how would you like to stay at the house for a few weeks?”

You feel your eyebrows go up in surprise, then scrunch in confusion.

“Wait, really?”

“Yeah,” he says it casually, like it’s truly no big deal at all that he’s asking if you want to live in his house, “We’d still set you up with a rental, but you won’t have to deal with all the annoying back-and-forth. I mean, the place is empty, except for the fish of course, so you won’t be bothered by anyone,” he pauses, “Well, and Jay – he’s the gardener – but he only stops by once a week. We’d let him know you’re there.”

It’s like you’re hearing the words but they’re not fully computing inside your brain, leaving you unable to figure out what to say. When you went to sleep last night you never in your wildest dreams had expected to wake up to a phone call from Keanu Reeves, let alone have him ask if you want to temporarily move into his house.

Does this actually happen? Is it normal for an actor to do this? What do I even say? Would it be rude to say yes? But is that what he wants me to say? What if he’s just being polite and he wants me to say no? Your mind is racing with a million thoughts a minute, dead air suddenly hanging between yours and Keanu’s phone call.

“It sounds crazy, I know,” he says, a bit loud in your ear, “I mean, I’m basically just some guy asking if you want to live in his house – ” he halts for a few seconds, “ – that does sound weird, doesn’t it? It’s not though,” he laughs again, a bit awkwardly this time, “Well, maybe it is, I don’t know. I don’t think so. It’s up to you, though.”

He has a tendency to ramble it seems, just like you do. You can see the color returning to your face in the mirror, cheeks going a bit redder than normal as you notice this similarity.

“It’s not weird,” you reassure him, even though it kind of is, but not in a creepy way; more-so in an ‘actors aren’t usually this accommodating’ kind of way, “I’d actually, um…well, I’d kind of love that, to be honest. Your house is beautiful.”

“Thank you.” He says, a bit softer; you can sense some relief in his voice that he hasn’t scared you off.

There’s another few seconds of silence before you quickly decide to break it again, “When should I…?” you trail off, not knowing exactly how to word it.

He understands immediately, “Oh, whenever you want! Today, tomorrow, completely up to you. I’ll have some groceries delivered later today so the fridge is stocked, you can send Candice a list of anything you might want. Feel free to go a little crazy.”

You’re still in a weird state of shock, shaking your head as he speaks, “So, you’re…like…totally fine with this? You’re sure?”

“Absolutely,” he responds, smile back in his voice, “Listen, that house is too big to not have anyone living in it. And I want you to actually enjoy your job, shake some of the stress off, ya know?”

His reputation really precedes him, huh.

“Well, I really appreciate it, truly,” you’re already thinking about how great it’s gonna be to get away from your roommates for a little while, “Honestly, I think I’ll probably be moved in by the end of today.”

“Great! Candice is gonna send a car to your house; what would you prefer? Audi? Lexus?”

You know those are both expensive car brands, but you really have absolutely no idea what the distinction is between the two or which would be the better option. Despite this, you try to play it cool, “Uh, surprise me.”

He might see through you but if he does, he doesn’t let it show, “Alright!” his enthusiasm makes you smile, “That’s exciting!”

You laugh, “It is!”

“I love cars,” he says with a happy sigh, “There’s just something about them, ya know? The way they- ” he suddenly seems to compose himself, “God, sorry, I’ll call Candice and get it set up for you.”

You can’t help but laugh again, a little bit harder this time at his random car tangent, and he gasps in faux-shock in response.

“Are you laughing at me?”

“Maybe.”

He chuckles, “Hey, I thought we had a good thing goin’ here.”

“We do!” you say right away, feeling a nervous pang in your chest, “I’m sorry.”

“Oh, God, don’t apologize! Totally kidding,” he clears his throat, “It’s probably too early for jokes, my bad.” You’re about to tell him it isn’t and you’re just being your anxious self, but he continues before you get the chance, “I’ll let you go and have Candice get in touch with you about the car.”

“Okay,” you nod, “Before you go, um…”

He doesn’t say anything, just waits in silence for you to finish your thought, which you appreciate – even though it makes you a bit nervous.

“Thank you. Not just for the house thing, but for everything – the job and all that,” you bite your lip, feeling your familiar awkwardness creeping back in, “It’s, uh, a really good opportunity for me.” What does that even mean? An opportunity to do what, exactly? God.

“There’s no need to thank me for anything, seriously,” he sounds incredibly sincere, “I’m the one who should be thanking you, which I’ll do now: thank you!”

You can’t help but giggle, feeling your cheeks warm again; he’s very charming, you’ll give him that.

“You’re welcome, Keanu.”

For some reason, the way his name slips off your tongue gives you goosebumps.

“I’ll talk to you again soon,” he says, voice still soft, “Bye.”

“Bye.”

You slowly bring the phone down from your ear, then toss it onto your bed. After staring at it for a few seconds, you turn back to the window and finish opening the curtains.

You’re not sure why exactly, but LA suddenly looks different.

#keanu reeves x reader #keanu x reader #keanu reeves imagine #keanu imagine #hopefully coverin all my bases there #thank you so much for sticking with me and pls let me know if you like this!!#ilyltsco #mine

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ledamemangociana · 4 years

Text

2020 20 questions meme time UWU

i was tagged by @decertatio to do this! i havent spent enough time on here recently to tag anyone, B U T! if you see this and would like to do this, consider yourself tagged, and let me know! i wanna read your answers UWU

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1. Do you make your bed? - GAWD NO, at least not 70% of the time, im so bad at this. it’s coz on the weekdays, i start working at 6:30am or 7am at home coz my bosses are in Australia and a lot of our clients are in Australia and/or New Zealand, and they’re 3 or 4 hours ahead of us, so i gotta get on those emails and support case tickets as soon as i can, so i give myself about an hour to catch up, and then i hurry out of the condo to get to the office before im marked late at 10am lolololol. on the weekends, when im at home, BECAUSE im just at home, i never fix my bed coz im in it 85% of the time anyway lakdjf

2. What’s your favorite number? - 13, cliche as it sounds. not coz i think it’s lucky or anything, but because other people around me thought it was. i kind of clung onto it when i was in high school coz i wanted to fit in by standing out.

3. What’s your job? - An accounts and client services manager at a digital services agency.

4. If you could, would you go back to school? - Probably not. I love learning, HATE studying.

5. Can you parallel park? - i never got far enough into being taught how to drive by mom to get to parking

6. A job you had which would surprise people? I think every job I’ve ever held, tbh. I graduated interior design mainly because my dad told me to when i asked him if i should enroll in advertising instead (the entrance exam i passed was good for either course). the only ID job i ever had lasted only two weeks, at a firm i had to do my internship/OJT at. it was my first job, and i was let go after two weeks. after that, i was a call center agent for two months, and then a copywriter for 6 months, and then an SEO specialist for a year and a half, and then a social media content/community manager at one firm for one year, and then for another agency for 3 and a half, and now im in my second year as an accounts manager at a digital services cloud agency. even i’m surprised at this job list tbh.

7. Do you think aliens are real? - i absolutely do believe that we are not the only life in this big, huge, wide, expansive universe that the planet earth is but a miniscule blip on. there’s definitely other life out there.

8. Can you drive a manual car? - i haven’t driven a car legitimately outside of learning how to drive, but yeh i probably can, since that was what my mom taught me with.

9. What’s your guilty pleasure? - junk food and soft drinks, but in general i try not to feel guilty about anything i take pleasure in

10. Tattoos? - none, but i am ACHING for them. i’ve had ideas for a loooong time. one that i DEFINITELY want to get as my first one is part of a letter that i found that my mom wrote for me in high school. “i know that you will be able to stand up for yourself and the world will stop and take notice.” i still have the letter, so i still have it in her handwriting. i want it on the inside of my left forearm.

11. Favorite color? - Pink! lighter/softer/pastel shades are my preferred ones, but i love any shade or hue of pink tbh

12. Things people do that drive you crazy? - i hate fake guilt trips. like, when someone wants me to do something that i can’t do, they’ll come in with like “nah, it’s fine, i’ll just drop all these SUPER IMPORTANT things im doing and go out of my way to do this thing that im asking you to do because i’m SOOOOO sorry that you’re unable to do it yourself” coz it’s like...dude, if you really were able to do that or if you wanted to actually do that, you wouldn’t have asked me to do the thing in the first place. like, you’re clearly just saying that to make me feel bad enough to make me drop everything im doing and do whatever it is you asked me to do. i also hate when ppl fish for compliments by being falsely humble or self-deprecating. like. PLEASE, y’all, i’ve lived with negative amounts of self-esteem for literal decades, i know the difference between actual self-loathing and you just wanting to hear good things about yourself that you don’t want to be called narcissistic for saying about yourself. i know what it sounds like when someone is actually going THRU something or is actually having an actual hard time accepting themselves and/or asking people for what they need as opposed to when someone just wants to be told something. like. don’t insult my intelligence and experiences like that. granted, there are nuances to consider for all of these things, bUT like i said, i know the differences when i see them.

13. Any Phobias? - i have a phobia of drowning that’s light enough to NOT keep me away from water but bad enough to sometimes make watching or listening to scenes where someone could potentially drown to set some triggers off for me. i also just have a really really bad fear of dying because of getting my oxygen cut off, coz that sounds like a really slow, painful way to die.

14. Favorite childhood sport? - i was never really a sports kid. the only sport i ever really enjoyed playing willingly was badminton. i trained for a few summers but never competed, but i got good enough to make games in a court fun. i still have my badminton racquet, it’s the only Legit™ badminton racquet in the house (it’s a Yonex, handed down to me by my trainer, only been restrung twice or thrice coz the last restringing was done so damn well), all the other racquets were inexpensive unbranded knock-offs that were good enough for me and my family to have casual games with.

15. Do you talk to yourself? - yes but mostly as a product of deep focus or concentration, or really heavy emotion. having social media has lessened doing it for the latter since i can just vent on here or on twitter, but when im doing stuff for work that’s hard or needs a lot of focus or concentration, i have full-on stand-up meetings with myself.

16. What movie do you adore? - “Romy And Michele’s High School Reunion.” it’s not a perfect movie by any means, but for someone who was a bullied outcast for much of elementary and high school years in a private, all-girls, Catholic school where everyone was tall and thin and pretty and pale and smart and popular, ALL the things that i wasn’t, it was - is? - like a beacon or a hug.

17. Do you like doing puzzles? - heck yeh, coz solving them makes me feel smart, and not being able to solve them but learning HOW to is so much fun for me.

18. Favorite kind of music? - i don’t know that i have one, to be honest, i haven’t listened to current radio in literal YEARS because i dont own a radio in the condo, i barely watch TV anymore, and i dont spend enough time in a vehicle to really know what’s up. i enjoy pop, hip-hop, rnb, showtunes.

19. Tea or coffee? - more of a coffee person myself, actual tea always just tastes LEGITIMATELY like leaf water to me, and i cant find a liking for it. i do really love sweet tea and milktea tho. but yeh, im mostly a bean juice person.

20. The first thing you remember you wanted to be when you grew up? - An architect, like my dad. i thought i would be one, up until i discovered writing in high school, and then i thought i wanted to become a journalist until i took it up as my first course in college and hated it. but yeh, it was always “architect! like daddy!” when i was asked that question when i was a kid. i looked up to him so much as a kid, and he and i were super tight when i was younger coz i was his firstborn and a daughter. we used to call each other best friends. i miss those days a lot; things between us seemed simpler, but maybe that’s because i didn’t have the ideals, knowledge and capacity to question the way he loves/loved me as My Parent™. our relationship these days is absolutely skewed and skewered.

#personalciana #Mango Goes to Jail #memeciana

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pagespagespages · 3 years

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How to get any warehouse job.

Few days ago I was talking to someone who I just met at this hiring event in Cherry Hill, NJ who was interested in hearing more about my work history.

He just wanted me to talk basically as I knew by his demeanor that he wasn’t exactly interested in me for the role, he was being professional but expedient at the same time for there were other interesting looking people he wanted to chat with. So he asked while eyeballing passerby’s to show me his severe disinterest.

I wanted to just get up and walk away as I too was deeply uninterested in spending the next 3 minutes hearing my own boring-ass spill about my warehousing experiences, instead I just decided that I would role-play this sucker as he was clearly doing me to sharpen up on both our skills for the next Candidate/Recruiter.

So like with the other 10 recruiters before this guy, I just went along with the classic mundane, stupid ass questions they always ask.

1. “So why are you interested in working for our company”

Answer: The response that comes to mind would be; “For the exact same reasons why you applied, Literally, THE EXACT SAME REASONS.”

Instead I have to provide the answer they want: “I’ve been meaning to apply for the position awhile ago but was busy at my current job so I regretfully put in off until my friend convinced me that I simply am too skilled and underpaid at my current job to not apply. He’s right, I know you guys need someone like me and this is what I also wanted for a long time, not to mention the location is so much more ideal, literally minutes from where I live, and the culture here is so diverse and friendly that it’s hard not to be drawn inward, speaking of inward, you guys also promote from within! I’ve been searching for the right employer who see’s talent and rewards for it, while on the topic of rewards, you guys also provide a rewarding $19.00 dollars an hour! I don’t know of any who pays “Such a high rate.” (wow $19 an hour! I’ll be in poverty with you guys too.)

What reason can you provide me that I shouldn’t apply?

This answer will have the recruiter salivating for you to answer their next question.

2. “Great, if you were offered the position, when can you start”

Answer: Next Monday!

Which leads them for the final blow.

3. “Do you need to put in a notice?”

Answer: “No, they only require a weeks notice.”

YES! I’m hired! (I thought)

5 days later I get the email because they of course are unable to call even though my number is the largest print on the Resume’

“While we sincerely appreciate you time in applying for the position, we have decided to pursue other talent. Please be on the lookout for other positions we post routinely (Especially the toilet cleaner roles)”

...

Reason why they did not hire someone with more than necessary experience.

Simple.

QUESTION 1:

“Why are you interested in working for the company”

What they mean to say: “Tell me why I would not hire you.”

Obvious reason why they ask:

The recruiter asked because they don’t have a better question to ask you. They are not interested enough in you, the cliché interviewers questionnaire is a smoke screen to “professionally” walk you out the door.

Think about it?

“Why are you interested in working for our company”

The recruiter already knows your answer and every possible answer you can give. You are candidate number 428 What reason could you possibly provide that sets you apart from 427 other people?

Obvious why you applied:

1. Pay is better (Just can’t say it because that’s not at all why you applied.)

2. The location is within possible traveling distance (even if that 60 miles from your house, you can afford the commute, just don’t say it’s 60 miles away!)

3. You were likely fired from your last job, and need the job. (Why else would I leave a job putting widgets in a box for another job putting different widgets in a box?)

...

QUESTION 2:

“Great, if you were offered the position, when can you start”

What they mean to ask: “How desperate are you?”

Obvious reason why they ask:

It’s the next quickest way to close the negotiation, “I don’t want to purchase you”

...

QUESTION 3:

“Do you need to put in a notice”

What they mean to say: “I want you out of my door faster than the length of your notice”

Obvious reason why they ask:

They want to appear so desperate to have you that they practically tell you to quit your “Other job” but they are actually pulling the “Rush Card” to get you to leave ASAP.

...

THE TRUTH.

Discrimination is part of “Diverse Culture”

You’re skills do not matter in a warehouse, There are no skills required, you can be blind, deft, and dumb and still manage to put widgets in boxes or pick up a box in a forklift from point A and deliver to point B while staying between the blue lines not running into the robots in neon vest with pocket horns.

The only thing in a warehouse that matters is how well you will fit in with the other robots. If you appear even the slightest bit intelligent, strategic, resourceful, you immediately do not get the job, simply because they don’t need skill, they need homeless people along with all the typical traits of a homeless person; Substance/Consumption problems (Usually obese people drive forklifts and eat a full course meal every break, and the addicts hide behind their tinted windows smoking weed or drinking alcohol.)

They need overly friendly people, simply because anyone can convince them that standing in front of an assembly line cracking jokes with retarded Dave for 8 hours is rewarding work for $19 an hour, meanwhile there are actual comedians earning hundreds an hour for the same thing. They too are “Friendly”

They need one-eyed Bobs to clean the restrooms and eat the food in the fridge because it must be emptied out every Sunday. Doesn’t take your “Dependability” skill and ownership of a car to get to work on time while one-eyed Bob takes the bus and arrives an hour early every day, even on his days off.

...

Why didn’t they hire you?

Because they can afford to discriminate, can you.

Either sallow your status or act like Bob and get the job. Just don’t expect to stay there for more than a few months because Bob isn’t acting and there’s only so much bullshit you will tolerate before you’ll find yourself standing in front of the next recruiter who’s asking you why are you interested in working for the company.

Answer: “My probation officer said I have to be here for the next 3 years otherwise he’ll put me in jail, please Mr. I need the job and I’ll do anything to get it.”

Recruiter: “I like this guy, he’ll fit in perfectly on the assembly line”

How about I offer you $18.00 an hour and you show up tomorrow at 7am?

That’s the way warehousing recruitment works.

Fake being stupid and land a stupid persons job.

end...

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