#yes i am actually okay

[anneapocalypse]

So, just curious how many writers and creators will have to be forcibly outed by relentless harassment before we acknowledge that "This queer characters was written by a cishet person and that's why they're bad" is not good criticism.

#yes i'm just going to come out and say it i'm talking about sera #not exclusively but i am talking about her #'but her writer actually iS A--' you don't know that! it doesn't matter! and i don't care! #just say that you do not like the character. #people will reblog posts about the latest actor or YA author or whatever getting forced out of the closet and be like #'wow. :( that's terrible.' #and then GO RIGHT BACK TO DOING IT #when are we going to learn #when are we going to stop doing this BEFORE somebody is forcibly outed #because in practical terms #that means you have to be okay with queer characters being written by straight people. #you have to stop weaponizing that against writers you don't like. #you have to be willing to critique the writing on its own merits #without using the writer's (assumed) identity to prop up your arguments #that's how it works #but who wants to actually change the way they talk about media #when tearing apart people's identities for clout is far more entertaining. #gwaren exports #fandom problems #fandom critical

[inkskinned]

you were raised in comparison.

it wasn't always obvious (well. except for the times that it was), but you internalized it young. you had to eat what you didn't like, other people are going hungry, and you should be grateful. you had to suck it up and walk on the twisted ankle, it wasn't broken, you were just being a baby. you were never actually suffering, people obviously had it worse than you did.

you had a roof over your head - imagine! with the way you behaved, with how you talked back to your parents? you're lucky they didn't kick you out on your ass. they had friends who had to deal with that. hell, you have friends who had to deal with that. and how dare you imply your father isn't there for you - just because he doesn't ever actually talk to you and just because he's completely emotionally checked out of your life doesn't mean you're not fucking lucky. think about your cousins, who don't even get to speak to their dad. so what if yours has a mean streak; is aggressive and rude. at least you have a father to be rude to you.

you really think you're hurting? you were raised in a home! you had access to clean water! you never so much as came close to experiencing a real problem. sure, okay. you have this "mental illness" thing, but teenagers are always depressed, right. it's a phase, you'll move on with your life.

what do you mean you feel burnt out at work. what do you mean you mean you never "formed healthy coping mechanisms?" we raised you better than that. you were supposed to just shoulder through things. to hold yourself to high expectations. "burning out" is for people with real jobs and real stress. burnout is for people who have sick kids and people who have high-paying jobs and people who are actually experiencing something difficult. recently you almost cried because you couldn't find your fucking car keys. you just have lost your sense of gratitude, and honestly, we're kind of hurt. we tell you we love you, isn't that enough? if you want us to stick around, you need to be better about proving it. you need to shut up about how your mental health is ruined.

it could be worse! what if you were actually experiencing executive dysfunction. if you were really actually sick, would you even be able to look at things on the internet about it? you just spend too much time on webMD. you just like to freak yourself out and feel like you belong to something. you just like playing the victim. this is always how you have been - you've always been so fucking dramatic. you have no idea how good you have it - you're too fucking sensitive.

you were like, maybe too good of a kid. unwilling to make a real fuss. and the whole time - the little points, the little validations - they went unnoticed. it isn't that you were looking for love, specifically - more like you'd just wanted any one person to actually listen. that was all you'd really need. you just needed to be witnessed. it wasn't that you couldn't withstand the burden, but you did want to know that anyone was watching. these days, you are so accustomed to the idea of comparison - you don't even think you belong in your own communities. someone always fits better than you do. you're always the outlier. they made these places safe, and then you go in, and you are just not... quite the same way that would actually-fit.

you watch the little white ocean of your numbness lap at your ankles. the tide has been coming in for a while, you need to do something about it. what you want to do is take a nap. what you want to do is develop some kind of time machine - it's not like you want your life to stop, not completely, but it would really nice if you could just get everything to freeze, just for a little while, just until you're finished resting. but at least you're not the worst you've been. at least you have anything. you're so fucking lucky. do you have any concept of the amount of global suffering?

a little ant dies at the side of your kitchen sink. you look at its strange chitinous body and think - if you could just somehow convince yourself it is enough, it will finally be enough and you can be happy. no changes will have to be made. you just need to remember what you could lose. what is still precious to you.

you can't stop staring at the ant. you could be an ant instead of a person, that is how lucky you are. it's just - you didn't know the name of the ant, did you. it's just - ants spend their whole life working, and never complain. never pull the car over to weep.

it's just - when it died, it curled up into a tight little ball.

something kind of uncomfortable: you do that when you sleep.

#writeblr #warm up #my dad was actively doing bad shit to us and we STILL were told we were lucky . and to a point i do think im lucky #i just think also there's somethin to be said about like. how about we stop using comparison to dismiss ppls individual struggles #yes there are people who have no perspective. for the reference tho having perspective actually made me really unwilling to get help #for what was a serious and debilitating mental health issue. bc i thought i didnt DESERVE IT #and i would rather have 600 ppl who aren't THAT bad get help and get heard and get seen #than make any 1 kid. do the math that i did: look at the world that is dying and the people who are hurting and say #''oh. okay. others have it worse. they are probably better people than i am. i am being unreasonable. i cannot ask for help #i am not good. i am taking too much space. i am not worth saving.'' #bc our WHOLE lives we are taught a scarcity mindset - that you can 'steal' from someone. so that instead of changing a system that doesn't #actually offer fair support to everyone #we put the impetus on the individual to just... demand less. #and here's something - there are probably ppl who think i DIDNT deserve to get help #bc i DID have it better than other people #and something about that is ... so sickening. bc i think all of us in some way at some point WILL need help. #we were supposed to make communities. we were supposed to offer our hands. we were supposed to raise the barn #instead we said: it could be worse. now handle it yourself

[turtleblogatlast]

[ cw: risk taking behavior / circumstantial self harm kinda / ignoring of injuries / self-depreciation / slight ooc-ness but for a reason! / ]

Post invasion, Leo is fine.

More than fine! He’s better than before, even. That is, if you don’t count the slightly cracked shell and still healing bones, but those are only a problem when the weather wants them to be!

Leo really is better in the ways that matter.

He’s not as cocky, not as self-centered, and overall just more heroic in general if he does say so himself.

Raph even said he was proud of Leo!

So obviously things are going well.

But.

It’s not enough.

Leo’s better, sure, but he’s still got work to do.

So - and here’s something that will probably make his brothers faint on the spot - he needs to train.

_____

His brothers do not faint, but it’s a near thing for Raph. Mikey has to fan the snapper’s face and Donnie almost brings out the smelling salts before Raph shoots back to his feet with an excited grin.

Leo’s big brother gets teary eyed soon after and envelops him in a bear hug, saying once again how proud he is that Leo is growing up.

Leo lets himself be hugged, even hugs back as fiercely as he can, because unbeknownst to Raph, this marks the end of Leo’s childhood.

He lets himself be hugged like a kid one last time, looking through the hole in Raph’s shell all the while.

_____

Leo only trains the regular way with his brothers and occasionally April and the Caseys, but most especially Raph.

But of course that’s not enough, it was never going to be.

So he goes through the motions of the stretches, the spars, the meditation, and then he leaves.

He makes sure to have his excuses ready, usually defaulting to Hueso as his go to since his brothers are easily bought off with the promise of pizza. Leo hasn’t yet found the tracker Donnie installed in him, but when he does that’ll be dealt with too! But for now, this should be good.

See, the invasion made him realize something.

It’s not about him, but it was his shortcomings that led to everything going to hell.

So he just…needs to get rid of those shortcomings.

He’s working on it, gaining fighting skill in training, but there’s more he needs to do, more skills he needs to train.

Leo watches intently as Repo Mantis swindles someone, he memorizes the sleight of hand that Hypno performs, he sneaks back into the Mystic Library and is so quiet the hush bats forget he’s there, he talks Big Mama into honing his manipulation, and he even sneaks into human hospitals and reptile veterinary clinics to get a clue on more serious injuries.

And after any of these, he heads to Run of the Mill to compete in the Maze of Death.

_____

This is his twelfth time going through the (newly remodeled and even more deadly) Maze of Death, and would be his fifth time winning. The first three times had him waking up in Hueso’s office, and each time he wakes his old persona shines through.

He always waves off Hueso’s annoyance and questions and insists on trying again next time before he steals some pizza and bails.

The skeleton actively tries to stop him from entering the Maze after the first time, but hey- mystics are allowed before you enter.

It’s easy enough to teleport on by.

Harder to meet Hueso’s - and later his brothers’ - eyes when he fails again.

When he first actually won, Hueso congratulates him in that typical deadpan tone of his.

“Ah, felicidades, Pepino. Now you can move on, sí?”

“Hm? Nah, boneman! That run was sloppy!”

And then Leo runs off before Hueso can stop him.

He doesn’t even look at his picture on the champion wall when he next comes around. It’s not much to look at anyway.

_____

His second win is much like the first, and only his third win is actually acceptable.

But he knows the field too much now. He needs a challenge.

When he attempts to go through it blindfolded, he’s quickly shown how much he doesn’t know the Maze. So, obviously, he loses again.

He got a bit more banged up that time around.

“Pepino, basta ya, you’ve already won. Where are your brothers?”

“I can’t stop yet, señor! This is for my brothers - no les digas, please.”

Even if Hueso wanted to tell Leo’s brothers, they haven’t been in enough for him to get to, and it’s not like Hueso has their number since Leo’s the one Hueso usually contacts. For now, Leo’s safe to continue as is.

Though his injuries are getting harder to hide, and there’s only so much his shell in particular can take.

So to speed things up, he incorporates the blindfold into his regular training.

His brothers question it, of course, but hey, he initially got the idea from seeing Lou Jitsu do it in the third best Lou Jitsu movie, so it comes as a great excuse now.

He’s only a little put off by how fast Mikey adapts to it when the others try.

“I dunno-“ Mikey shrugs when asked, “You guys shine so brightly anyway, a mask doesn’t do much.”

Seeing their mystic energies is pretty cool, Leo can admit.

He just wishes he could grasp that himself - and that it was useful for a death maze.

_____

Leo’s training pulls off eventually, and soon, after a few more losses, he wins a forth time. But it’s a near loss, and a near loss is the difference between someone living and dying.

He’s gotta go again.

Hueso’s more insistent than ever, though.

“You must stop, Pepino.”

“But I can do better-“

“You don’t have to! Your shell is bleeding - ¡por tu propio bien, poner fin a esto!”

“I told you, this is for their own good! For everyone’s own good!”

He forgets the pizzas when he leaves. He claims sickness when he hides under his covers.

He ignores how childish the act makes him feel.

_____

Leo’s getting better, and his reflexes and tact in training shows this. His other training of his subterfuge and medical skills also prove to be useful.

He’s pretty good at hiding injuries, now! Though not so good at hiding a pained shell. Even Donnie looks at him with blatant concern (and understanding) when Leo can’t help but take a sharp breath whenever he lands on his back.

It’s hard not to go right back into waving everything off with jokes like he used to. Deflections are easier when they’re annoying!

But- this is just another reason that he needs to get better, right? So his brothers won’t worry. He doesn’t need the spotlight anymore - he’s over that, thanks.

He squashes down the part of him that perks up when Splinter says he’s growing up. He actively kills the part of himself that cries at the same phrase.

_____

So. Yeah. This’ll be his twelfth time running the Maze. And, hopefully, his fifth win. Maybe he really will move on after this.

The Hidden City is pretty big! There’s probably a bigger challenge somewhere.

Maybe Big Mama has a more secret Nexus hidden away, out of the public eye.

Well, whatever. That’s a future problem for him to figure out, yeah? For now, he carries on like usual, teleporting to the entrance of the Maze and diving right in.

Even blindfolded, he works his way through, dodging and weaving and feeling as he goes. He even tries to evoke his inner Mikey and calls on his mystic energy. Not enough to cheat, but enough to feel.

Usually, when Leo teleports, he swears he feels every part of himself disperse into particles. Now, with energy thrumming under his scales, he can feel particles everywhere.

It’s not refined enough to tell him everything, and he gets a fun new burn and a nice whack to the back by getting distracted. Still, it gives him more than he had before. It makes him more aware of everything, like he licked a finger and held it in the air to feel the direction of wind, but every direction blew wind, all in different ways.

He makes it to the end with minimal injuries after that, and sure, his shell is screaming at him now, but he thinks he did a shell of a good job.

…Ah, he needs to cut that out, huh? Man. Maybe Donnie’s collar idea was a good call after all.

Leo needs to be a hero. Not a face man. Not a failure.

Not a kid.

_____

Leo doesn’t smile when the Minotaur takes his picture again for the champion wall, and he doesn’t listen when she tells him to “go home and never come back.”

He doesn’t plan to, anyway, yeesh.

He’s tired as he trudges out of the exit, and Hueso catches him when he stumbles.

Hueso doesn’t say anything. Leo doesn’t either.

Or, he doesn’t, until he feels a familiar large hand helping him up as well.

Leo’s face whips up as he flinches back, eyes wide as they meet with a worried (so, so worried) Raph’s.

“You told them?” Leo asks Hueso in betrayal, heart thudding wildly in his chest.

“Pepino…”

“Told us what?” Mikey pipes up from behind Raph, coming closer to get a better look at Leo, “Leo, what’s going on?”

“Your shell has been having pretty big setbacks on its healing, is this why?” Donnie demands, glaring fiercely as he motions toward the Maze.

Leo feels unmoored. “I-“

“Leo.” Raph interrupts, and no Leo doesn’t want to hear it- “Are you okay?”

And Leo wants to say “it’s not about me”. He wants to say anything that proved he learned his lesson, that he’s not a liability or worse, an active danger to his own family.

He wants Raph to continue being proud of him. He wants his brothers to trust him.

Instead, he passes out.

_____

The next time his eyes open, Leo’s on his side, staring at his blue lava lamp.

He knows without looking that his shell is re-bandaged. He knows his other injuries have been dealt with too.

And unless Leo learned how to do some pretty impressive medical sleepwalking, he knows he’s not getting away this time.

All three of his brothers being in his room prove that.

“What’s been going on, Leo?” Mikey asks, and his voice cracks partway through.

He’s looking at Leo like he’s searching for something, but Leo doesn’t have anything to show. Nothing’s hidden, he just did some light spring cleaning is all, throwing out all the parts he didn’t need.

All the parts they didn’t need.

And yet despite everything, he can feel himself falling back into old ways, a grin tugging at his beak and lackadaisical deflection on the tip of his tongue.

Maybe he should let that part of him show, just for once. It wouldn’t seem like too much of a setback would it? And he could really use a fun pun right about now-

No.

No it’s not about him. He needs to remember why he did all this in the first place.

“Okay- sorry, guys.” He smiles, softly, quietly, “I guess I got too caught up in training. I’ll work at it some more, don’t worry.”

“Oh, I see. Training. That’s all it was, huh? Training.” Donnie hisses more than says, nearly vibrating in anger.

“…yeah?” Leo nods slowly, because, uh, that’s literally the most honest thing he said. It was training.

“If it’s just “training” then why the secrecy, hm? Why in Curie’s good name did you prefer to sneak around rather than, oh, I don’t know, tell your family?”

Leo feels his shoulders rise at Donnie’s aggression, defensiveness welling up in him, “It was my training! Nothing went wrong, I’m getting better!”

“Better?” Raph asks incredulously, “Leo, you’re wasting away. A tap to the shell stuns you for minutes, you lost weight, and your dark circles are worse than Raph’s ever seen them! You aren’t getting better-!”

“YES I AM!”

The words rip out of Leo before he can stop them.

The room is silent as his brother look at him, all wearing expressions of hurt that Leo put there again.

“Yes I am.” Leo reiterates, shaking, “Because- if I’m not-“ He squeezes his eyes shut. “If I’m not-“

Then what was all this for?

Arms slowly wrap around him, and he knows now from the feel of the mystic that it’s Mikey.

“You’ve gotten faster, and sneakier.” Mikey says quietly. “When I accidentally cut my hand, you knew exactly how to take care of it.” His voice grows firm, and he backs out of the hug, “But those are your skills. You, though, you’ve been…you’ve been…”

“You’ve been dilapidating before our very eyes, and trying to hide it.” Donnie finishes, jaw tight. “You think we wouldn’t notice? After everything?” To Leo’s horror, Donnie’s voice is hoarse with tears, “You absolute dumb dumb.”

“I- but I need to train. The Maze is-“

“Leo, we don’t care that you ran through the Maze. We care you did it alone.” Raph says quietly. “We could have joined you, any time.”

“But- but I’m doing this for you-“

“Listen to your brothers, Blue.” They jump as a new voice joins the fray, heads turning to see Splinter make his way into the - frankly crowded - room.

“Dad, I-“ Leo begins, but trails off, suddenly more unsure than ever in the face of his father.

“It’s good you’re finally picking up training! Especially for your brothers’ sakes! But there’s such a thing as going overboard, you know.” Splinter pokes a sharp claw into Leo’s plastron, “Just because you’re dragging it out this time, doesn’t make this any less of a sacrifice. My son, you’ve taken after Karai an awful lot, haven’t you?”

Leo just looks at his father. At his brothers. Then, he looks down at his calloused hands, bandaged and scarred from overuse.

He swallows dryly. “Is that a bad thing?”

He feels his family crowd in around him, feels his father’s hand on his shoulder.

“It’s not wrong to want to be better, Leonardo.” Splinter says, softly and with so much grief and guilt that Leo can never begin to understand, “But you were never bad to begin with.”

Leo’s breath hitches.

“And-” Splinter’s hands rise up to frame Leo’s face. “You are much too young to ever consider sacrifice the best answer.”

“You got me to relax, Leo. So I’ll do the same for you.” Raph grins, eyes wet, “We’re still kids, right?”

And-

Leo smiles, watery but genuine. “Yeah, Raph. We are.”

#rottmnt #rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #rottmnt leo #rottmnt headcanons #rise leo #rise fanfic #WHOOPS #did not mean to write all this #my only regret is not including April #anyway I was like wow Leo sure is acting different at the end of the movie huh #then I thought hey he’s actually acting a lot like previous iterations of Leo rn #then I ran with it and tripped down the stairs in the process #thus this was born! #I am tired so more tags later #but dang oops a bit too angsty gotta do smth lighthearted soon huh #also yes he DOES go back and apologize for putting Hueso through so much #he gets a smack on the head and a head pat immediately after #‘don’t do it again Pepino - not until I finally get the Maze shut down’ ‘okay wait what-‘

[xenocorner]

I was going through some oldish art and found something.

Posting this for one (1) mutual. You know damn well who you are 👁

#okay actually posting for two mutuals but I don't see much of mac around these days #i am fairly certain that YOU (yes you who you know who you are) will show him when appropriate though #crowley #good omens #this is still a Strange (coughCLINTcough) brainrot blog don't worry I won't start suddenly posting random unrelated art 👍

[flamedoesart]

I feel like people tend to forget that the reason children are on websites they really shouldn't be on, like Twitter for example, is because there are no spaces on the internet anymore specifically designed for children, unless it's for babies or toddlers.

The death of Flash also meant the death of thousands of games and websites specifically designed for the 9-13 demographic. Now granted, several games died long before Flash did (like the Holy Disney MMO trio - Pixie Hollow, ToonTown and Club Penguin) but there were other websites designed around what kids would enjoy. Sites like Kongregate, Sploder, GirlsGoGames and others were designed with kids in mind.

These sites were special in the sense that it gave fun games for children to play without even really needing to interact with other people directly. They could play the games and have fun. If they wanted to make friends they could, and oftentimes these sites had moderation to prevent kids from having full control over what they could say so as to prevent bullying and potential cyberstalking.

But now Flash is dead, and there's barely any hangout spots for that demographic anymore. I think the last remaining game you can play that doesn't require Flash that was a major part of the 2010s game nostalgia was Wizard101, but that game comes with the flaw of membership programs, similar to all the other MMOs that existed at the time.

Needless to say, the next time we ask in annoyance why there's so many 12 year olds on Twitter and Tik Tok, remember that it's because there's literally no online spaces anymore solely for them and only them, that majority of adults wouldn't step foot into anymore.

#flame talks #internet culture #flash games #Edit : wtf how did this get so many likes and rbs #okay so maybe I should clarify a bit here that yes I am aware that there are still kids spaces online #but basically all the ones that exist now have a membership program #hell even roblox does and a membership isn’t required to play those games #yes ads are annoying af on games but that’s not the point #also yes I am aware that kids will walk into adult spaces online but #that would be less of a problem if there were actual sites designed for kids at all anymore #now all we have is tik tok and that site is more for teens and adults than for kids #literally kids can’t exist anywhere without being preyed upon by algorithms and shit

[hakusins]

tw // injury, bruises, blood, degrading tattoos

276 days later - Eri the Orphan

#degrees of lewdity #dol pc #fan art #art #mine #my fan art #my art #as you can see i have spiralled #BHJREFBHJERF #ANYWAYS yes i am using eri as my dol pc #because i love her and adore her and believe she deserves this <3 #this is based off of that one under//tale ss?? where like the player character was lookin at the mirror and stuff #and i got inspired BHJREFBERHFBH #thought this was a great way to introduce my dol pc!! #eri the orphan #also the tattoos because IM SO SICK OF REMY ADDING ANOTHER TATTOO ON ME #LIKE WHITNEY IS OKAY #BUT EVERY TIME I PASS OUT AT REMY'S FARM!! #HE FUCKING TATTOOS ME #im so mad actually #my oc #my fan oc

[qrovidcore]

so HEY UH

WAS ANYBODY GOING TO TELL ME THAT DURGE AND ASTARION REALLY DO HAVE THE SAME TRAUMA OR

WAS I JUST SUPPOSED TO FIND THESE PARALLELS OUT FOR MYSELF

OH OKAY YOU ALSO WERE TRAPPED AND HURT YOURSELF TRYING TO CLAW YOUR WAY OUT?????? YOU ALSO WERE THE SPECIAL LITTLE PET OF THE PERSON WHO TORTURED YOU, WHO IMMEDIATELY STARTS TALKING DOWN TO YOU THE SECOND YOU SEE THEM AGAIN?????? OKAY. YEAH. WE CAN COMPARE NOTES IF YOU’D LIKE.

#ALSO ALSO. THE *WHAT DID YOU DO TO ME.* THE BEING TAKEN ADVANTAGE OF WHEN FOUND DYING. I M #SCREAMING #DURGESTARION NATION. WHERE ARE YOU. I NEED YOU. #DURGESTARION NATION PLEASE #THIS IS A DURGESTARION POST I CANNOT STRESS THAT ENOUGH #DURGESTARION ;—; #IT’S ABOUT THE PARALLELS IT’S ABOUT HOW SO MUCH OF WHAT THEY’VE BEEN THROUGH IS THE SAME #IT’S ABOUT THE BEING A TOOL AND A PET FOR SOMETHING MORE POWERFUL THAN YOU IT’S ABOUT THE BEING MADE TO SOMETHING MONSTROUS #BEING MADE TO BE A WEAPON #A ND IT’S ABOUT THE CYCLE BREAKING TOO OKAY #WAAAAHHHHHHH #MY RUN IS ABOUT ONE THING AND ONE THING ONLY #AND THAT THING IS THESE TWO SUPPORTING EACH OTHER ABOUT FIGHTING BACK AGAINST AND GETTING FREE OF CAZADOR AND BHAAL RESPECTIVELY OKAY #bg3 #the paranoid android speaks! #also listen am i cringefail at naming video game characters? yes. #my durge is an elf i pulled up an elf name generator and picked the first thing i could reliably pronounce what do you Want from me #bold of you to assume i don’t name my actual d&d characters like this too

[scarlettroubles]

I am 90% convinced that if Daisy, Basira, Georgie and Melanie had just teamed up to give Jon a make over, they could have lured Martin's gay ass back to their side and away from Peter 'twelve times divorced' Lukas and they could have figured out Elias' big plan now that they have Martin back and brutal pipe murdered the grinning little bastard with a vouyerism kink and lived happily ever after in Scotland.

#jonathan sims #martin blackwood #daisy tonner #melanie king #georgie barker #basira hussain #the magnus archives #mag pod #the magnus institute #ceaseless watcher #jonmartin #peter lukas #elias bouchard #yes i am aware of how silly this idea is no i will not take criticism #the lesbians should have just teamed up to yassify jon #no I'm not just saying this because im a hot jon rights believer what are u talking about #im in s3 in my relisten of tma okay leave me alone #i was initially going to first draw something for this stupid idea but #i am very tired atm so #hopefully future athea actually does it #tma #tma spoilers

[pandaspwnz]

So I don't think this is actually the case but what if Eliza and Isaac's deaths werent over a petty amount of cash and a robbery gone wrong? What if, instead, Dutch had seen Arthur spending time with them, had perceived him slipping away as a threat: a threat to himself, his gang, his security, his family, afraid of losing his lead enforcer - whether he truly at that point did love him like a son, or not. And in his insecurity or fear or whatever other reason, he finds someone rotten, unrelated to the gang, and he pays them to murder Eliza and her little boy, so no one will ever tempt Arthur away from the flock, and he instead puts all his energy and time into the gang, the only family he has left.

#i am kombucha girl memeing over this and don't actually think this is the case but 👀👀👀 WHAT IF???! #the theory just popped up in my head #cause it's always seemed a little dodgy how and why they died - which is fair enough it's traumatic as hell and not something you want to #deeply delve into #but still WHAT. IF. #and yes i am clearly opposed to the head-injury dutch theory because that man was a narcissistic power hungry egomaniac long before then #anyway #i can actually see dutch doing something like this but there's no actual evidence for it so I'm just theorizing! #arthur morgan #dutch van der linde #rdr2 #rdr2 eliza #isaac morgan #rdr #rdr2 spoilers #ish #my post #also I'm sure someone else has had this thought before and if it was true a writer might have confirmed it but I haven’t seen it and I'm #just having fun okay

[monarchamos]

heyyy chuuya lovers

I made a compilation of every. single. scene. of Chuuya. spanning from season one to season 5, including dead apple and the ova. also its in dub.

so like. if anyone wants

{BSD but it's only Chuuya}

Update! After a bout of boredom, i have created

{BSD Wan! but it's only Chuuya}

#the way most of the scenes are just from fifteen is so funny #chuuya's screentime ratio is always so funny to me #like this man is in 25 out of the 61 episodes and in the movie #he has 1 hour and 12 minutes out of 1 day 1 hour and 54 minutes of the entirety of BSD #yet hes featured in like all of the marketing #sounds like someone is a little favorite #bsd chuuya #nakahara chuuya #chuuya nakahara #bungo stray dogs #bungou stray dogs #bsd #also dont judge me for using dub okay i like dub and also the bsd english dub is one of the few actually good english dubs for anime #i spent two days on this crying sobbing #yes i am the same person who compiled the subbed bsd stageplays into google drive but no these are not the same drive accounts #soukoku #skk #...technically

[nuppu-nuppu]

How the heck do people make themselves approachable irl and online I feel like people see me as a concrete wall with some graffiti on it that is a circle that says autistic inside of it

#like yes I do have a neutral face and I have no idea how to use emojis so Idk #or small talk! what the fuck is that #but some people are so turned off by how I appear externally that they don't really bother to get to know me #and when you get to know me I am actually very enthusiastic and smiley and talkative #but I am just very very very shy so it takes time to get to know me you know #but pls if you have any tips and tricks on how to be more approachable then pls tell me I would like to know #like plsss #pls I hope none of you think I'm rude or something I'm just clueless #actually autistic #autistic #neurodivergent #actually neurodivergent #and of course it's okay to be neutral all the time and not talkative or stuff it's just a me problem because I would like for people to get #to know me how I actually am you know?????? #pls #I'm sorry

[waterfallofspace]

don't know how to format this post so welcome to waterfall is craving things and she doesn't know if it's more h-rny or lonely so enjoy a little snippet of what is playing on loop in my mind~

Person A: tshhieew!

Person B: Bless you, poor little thing~

Person A: I'm- eshh'iew! tschh- kngt'shhew! I'm not little!

Person B: Even if you aren't, your sneezes sure are~

Person A, blushing: No they're- eh'tnshiew! aeshh'iee!

Person B, with a smirk: What a poor, sneezy little thing~

#waterfallsnzarios #waterfalltalks #i guess??? idk man waterfallcraves is more accurate #just B taunting them and A being such a little blushy mess by the end #knowing that they ARE little but even if they arent! the sneezes are! they cant fight that! #not like they can fight being little either buutttt~ ;3 #yes im picturing c/huuya but gotta be honest not seeing d/azai as the other #perhaps in a private little bedroom... away from prying eyes and ears... #or perhaps this is just something I crave okay i just- lil with lil snz auhegughguh #im a sucker for a kitten snz and i am! feeling things so welcome to this randomness that does NOT have a point~ #(and yes okay maybe id like to be on either side of this BUT! shut up! i do not!) #(using this as a blog again- starting to get more and more used the idea that like... maybe i DO want attention???) #(always knew i craved attention but like.... always used to it being the kind of attention that i GIVE to others and maybe i get something) #(but not used to like... actual genuine attention thats just for me and that isnt kinda... idk- you give me things? so i give bak?) #(gonna be so honest!! i do not feel cute! most of the time! and usually thats okay! i like being a lil chaos gremlin :3) #(buuuuuut recently been having more friends call me cute and idk!!! maybe its not the worst thing to get to be a lil soft sometimes~) #(ANYWAYS blog post over im so sorry to anyone who read these tagssssss but here is a lil snzario that hopefully makes up for it!!)

[skitskatdacat63]

2023 Dutch Grand Prix - Fernando Alonso(ft. Max Verstappen & Pierre Gasly)

#GUYS I AM SO INCREDIBLY HAPPY TODAY AAAAHHHHHHHHHHH #LETS GOOOOOO BACK ON THE PODIUM!!!!!!!!! #ive done enough live blogging that sums up my feelings hahaha so i should refrain here #i think that was def my fav race of the season(other than bahrain prob hehehe) #but god what a fantastic race!! yes i cried a bit #like everyone was overtaking and there was such good racing up and down the field and it felt so close #thank you to the rain!!!!! #i need a nando overtak count bcs my god he was actually insane this race #like that first lap double overtake?????? okay????? go off king!!!!!!! #but aaaahhhhh everyone was so happy for himmmmmmmm #like hugging him and chanting his name and cheering!! AS HE DESERVESSSSSSSS #the green background of the podium...it was foreshadowing #im still on my caffiene high from rb so im so sorry to all my mutuals for all the caps and screaming and tambling BUT IT IS A GREAT DAY #i kinda wanna clip some parts of his interview cause he was very cute and happy and silly today hehehe #fernando alonso #f1 #formula one #formula 1 #fa14 #max verstappen #aston martin #pierre gasly #2023 dutch gp #2023 dutch grand prix #we do a little bit of f1

[whumpypepsigal]

me watching LOTR the rings of power for the plot :

the plot :

morals be damned i am supporting his rights and his wrongs

#charlie vickers #halbrand #the rings of power #haladriel #yes another obsession my friends! #screaming crying throwing up #hear me out guys… #HE JUST WANTED TO BE LOVED!!! #HE WANTED TO FORGET HIS PAST EVIL-DOING AND LIVE THE REST OF HIS LIFE IN PEACE #HE LOVES GLADRIEL AND SHE LOVES HIM OKAY! HE WANTED TO MAKE TWO RINGS TO PROPOSE TO HER AHHHHHHHHH #SHE ACTUALLY MADE HIM BELIEVE HE CAN TAKE OVER THE WORLD AGAIN SHE GAVE HIM THE CONFIDENCE LMAO IF THAT ISNT (LOVE) I DONT KNOW WHAT IS #like someone said on twitter… it’s about making each other worse. love and devotion turning into corruption #is that my takeaway? yes YES IT IS #he so handsome and TALL #how can they make us hate villains when they make them this hot sexy and angsty ahhhhhh #morals be dammed i am rooting for sauron/halbrand #lotr the rings of power #the rings of power spoilers #3rd gif… rewatched that part countless of times. IT WAS SO HOT *faints* #my gifs

[iraprince]

Hiii, i love your stuff and kinda from a distance really look up at you for, in my perception, being able to express yourself without giving a fuck. Thats sick dude, Im so so afraid, of absolutely everything, its nice to think like i might grow into someone less apologetic of my existence. Nice to see people just being yknow

hey, thank you, this is really really nice. the secret that is probably not a secret is that i am also deeply afraid a lot of the time lmao -- but less than i used to be, and in ways that feel less stifling and self-suffocating, if that makes sense.

like, it used to be "i'm scared that if i express myself the way i want to, everyone will find me obnoxious, so let's just sand those edges down to be safe" -- now my fears are more like "now that i'm expressing myself in a way that feels natural and real, i'm afraid that it's all stupid/vapid/not worthwhile or meaningful" (<- specifically abt my art) or "i'm happy that i talk and act the way i want to now, but what if it makes me impossible to befriend," etc etc etc. which still feels bad and puts me in a funk a lot of the time but at least it's a fear that comes After/in reaction to doing stuff, rather than a fear that STOPS me from doing stuff, you know? like, it's evolved into a kind of fear that's less in my way.

anyway. i believe you'll experience something like this, because wanting to grow is the first step of growing. the fact that u hope or wish for something different means you're already on your way. to fewer fucks!! or at least distributing the fucks u give in a way that serves u better

#stuff like accepting that i'm reserved and i'm not very accessible via messages. #or that my online tone isn't very bubbly and it's weird and uncomfortable to force it. #i stop letting fears about that shape my behavior ('i'll look mean or snotty so let's force markers of Friendliness to avoid that!!') - #- and instead act the way i want to and then trade it in for new fears that come After the action. #also a good reminder to give urself is that if ur fear is abt how other ppl perceive u (as 90% of mine is personally) #u really... can't actually control that. and being very very anxious abt it all the time is usually ur brain throwing a tantrum abt not-- #--having that control. bc it is understandably very scary that u don't have that control #as much as it sucks + is terrifying the truth is the only thing u can do is ask urself 'am i behaving in a way that i'm proud of' #'am i behaving in a way that's in alignment w my values + what i think is important' #bc if the answer to that is yes and somebody hates u or is deeply offended by ur existence anyway. well. literally not ur problem #but obv being at peace w that is way way easier said than done + requires tons of practice and will take. probably. years. which is fine #i am stuck with myself. i can either contort myself forever trying to be someone everyone will like and find totally nonthreatening and- #inoffensive and in the process exhaust myself totally and never feel safe or natural myself. OR #i can say okay. so i am a kind of prickly guy with stern and drab speech patterns and close to no social energy. and i think i can still be #-sexy and fun this way. and it is up to other ppl to figure out if they can agree w me on that #ANYWAY enough rambling for now. just another one of those things i think abt a lot so i have a lot of ready-made sentences abt it in mind

[theweevilofsweetreef]

anybody else just get to the point where you give up on sleep and just do weird shit until the sun rises

#case in point i am currently upside down listening to electric callboy #this happens far too often for my personal liking #not the listening to electric callboy but the upside down not being asleep yes #okay the song changed its architects now #okay it changed again sorry it’s a day to remember now #idk why i’m updating what band is playing #can’t sleep #insomniac #actually neurodivergent #actually autistic #actuallyautistic #actually neurodiverse #autism #adhd #actually adhd #metalcore