#yes i am still very weak for gwendolyn

[alyafae-a]

A genius, she has truly believed him to be a genius. A man who would be revolutionary for modern medicine, a promise to cure currently incurable diseases. It has been macabre enough when he mentioned he was about to cure juvenile daydreaming, melancholia, and dementia but things take a whole different turn when he mentions lesbianism.

Lesbianism. A mental disorder women need to be cured from.

Where a smile has set moments ago, it falls slowly, the faintest of frowns appearing on her face. Dear God, how can he believe it is something you need to cure. As if you are less human for loving another woman; or, as a matter of fact, a man loving another man. 

Gwendolyn feels sick the more she thinks about it. It might as well have been herself who’s lying on the daybed, or worse, Trevor. Her good and sweet Trevor who is more innocent than a fly. Who has always helped in the years they have known each other. To think someone could try and take a part of himself from him, it was unbearable. 

But to think someone could try and take that part from herself, that is just a tad worse now that she thinks about it. Who would she be if they took it from her, made her into someone she wasn’t? She might have already been living a fake life, but at least in this life she still has the chance to live as the woman she is. A woman who loves other women, who is proud of it, who doesn’t regret it for a second. Long as she remembers, it has always been part of her.

And the woman on the daybed, she is still so young, she doesn’t even have to experience it, to see the beauty of it. If Doctor Hanover succeeds it will be taken from her completely.

She weeps for the woman, prays that she will be alright. She weeps for the woman and the life lost that could have been her very own. If only she could show it.

How long has the frown been on her face? Has anyone noticed? Would anyone be able to tell what she has just been thinking about? Her eyes look to her left and her right, repeat it twice, very slowly. No one seems to have paid attention to her at all. And why would they? She’s not the main attraction. She’s not the one who has been promised to be cured within as little as a quarter of an hour.

It is wrong. So wrong.

But Gwendolyn is ever the professional and puts on a fake smile. The one she would always give to Governor Wilburn. The one so many colleagues and other politicians would see from the good press secretary Gwendolyn.

With her newly gained countenance, Gwendolyn straightens her back a little more, leaning back in her seat as if to get away from the scene in front of her. She turns her head just enough to look over to the nurses, one in particular. Nurse Ratched. The one nurse who caught her eye the moment she walked into the auditorium. 

Did she, too, think these actions to be cruel and a crime against humanity? The way she is carefully paying attention to his every movement tells her she might not see it that way but she might be mistaken. It could be medical curiosity still.

One way or another, Gwendolyn cannot bring herself to follow the procedure at all. Eyes not focussed on Doctor Hanover’s hands nor the head of the patient. the redhead tries to think of anything else to keep herself busy. Of sweet Trevor who would be safe and sound at home when she returns, with dinner ready and cheerfully telling her about his day in the office. 

Still, she cannot stop herself from thinking, what have I gotten myself into.

#𝐒𝐇𝐀𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐘𝐎𝐔𝐑 𝐃𝐄𝐕𝐎𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍. drabble #yes i've been watching the show #yes i am still very weak for gwendolyn #it's a crime there aren't more ppl writing with her #she's a gem #𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐓𝐑𝐔𝐄𝐒𝐓 𝐓𝐇𝐈𝐍𝐆. gwendolyn briggs

[kimmietea]

Double Yikes! Part 1 (Ben Hardy x Reader)

Summary: Ben and Reader go on their date.

Warnings: Dirty thoughts, cursing...sickly sweet touching moments

Continuation of Yikes!

A/N: Wow ok hi everyone! Is this actually happening? Im actually posting this! So i decided to break up Double Yikes into 2 parts. First of all because it has been way too long and i feel awful for making you all wait and 2 because I’m struggling with the end and I'm hoping this will buy me some more time. I don’t bite so please tell me what you all think. Do you hate it? Love it? Want more? Tell me all of it. I love to hear from you. Let me know if you want to be added to the tag list for when part 2 is finished. Ok I think that’s it...oh don’t forget Italics is reader thinking to herself in her head. Alright let’s do this!!

TagList:: @borhapqueen92  @radiob-l-a-hblah  @gwendolyns-stacy @coincidence-ithinknots-blog @mythicmazzellos  @hardforbenhardy @onceuponadetectivedemigod

*********************************************

“Wait wait, read it to me again.” Morgan said stuffing the last bit of her lunch into her mouth. You were both sitting in your office for lunch, talking about Ben and your upcoming date that night, when he texted you as promised a few hours before.

“It says 'Do you mind if I pick you up for our date? I really want to be a perfect gentleman.' Then there are the fingers crossed emoji and in brackets '🤞(please say yes).' You read and flipped the phone around to show her.

"Want to be? Hell he already is."

"I'm so nervous. He still didn't say where or what time. What if I don't get out of work in time to shower? Oh god I'm gonna smell on our first date. What am I gonna wear? If I don't have enough time to shower then I might not have enough time to change. Oh god what if i wear what i'm wearing now. He's gonna look and smell so good. All showered and sexy in whatever he's got on and I'm gonna be this gross, smelly potato still in her clothes from work. Im freaking out!" You were spiraling.

"Alright calm down. One thing at a time. Let's come up with a reply. Do you want him to pick you up?"

"Of course I do." You smiled. "Better chance of a goodnight kiss."

"Or a good morning kiss" She muttered.

"Morgan!" She held her hands up in defense.

“I’m just saying what you’re thinking.”

She’s not wrong

“Oh shut up and help me.”

 Together you came up with a reply and he responded with the time he would be by to pick you up and the dress code, to which he described as 'Fancier than work but not the royal wedding.', because he refused to tell you where you were going, causing you to stress about it for the rest of the day. At least you would have enough time to shower and change.

By the time you left work, you were nothing but a big nervous mess. When you got home you had 2 hours to get ready before Ben would be there. You went straight to the shower making sure every bit of you was clean and any place that needed shaving was taken care of just in case things ended the way Morgan said they would.

You were definitely not the type of girl to sleep with a guy on the first date but there was something about Ben. A pull you just couldn't explain. A need to be close to him but at the same time a need to be far away because you were so nervous you may vomit all over him. Plus this very well could be the last time you see him, him being an actor and his career on the verge of skyrocketing and all. So why not make the most of it if the opportunity arises.

After your shower you spent way too long in the closet trying to pick something to wear. You finally decided on what Morgan called your "Posh Spice Dress". It was a simple black dress that stopped mid thigh, with thin straps.

Hair and makeup came next and you kept things simple. Minimal makeup and a simple, messy sort of bun with a few pieces falling around your face. You received a text from Ben notifying you that he was on his way.  Shoes on, wallet and keys in purse. You snapped a quick picture in the full length mirror and sent it off to Morgan as promised.

The knock at the door made you jump and almost drop your phone.

Jesus that was fast.

You could feel your hands start to sweat and your heart pound as you walked to the door.

Breath you manic, it's just a date. Breath.

You opened the door and the breath you just talked yourself into taking was stolen from you. Ben was dressed in a wonderful black suit and dark green shirt, making his eyes stand out. His hair was tousled just enough so a piece hung over his forehead. He was looking at the floor but when the door opened he looked up. He shook his head to get the stray piece or hair off his forehead but it did nothing but make you weak in the knees.

Fuuuuck! You beautiful bastard. My god, I'm gonna be distracted all night.

The effect he had on you must have shown on your face because his cheeks were a light pink.

"Hey." He smiled.

"Hi." You managed to get out. He leaned in and pressed a kiss to your cheek. You were grateful you were still holding the door otherwise you'd be on the ground.

"Wow you look... absolutely stunning." You looked to the ground to try and hide the furious blush that was now burning your face.

“Oh um these are for you.”  He handed you the small batch of daffodils you hadn't noticed he was holding.

“My favorite. How did you know?” Trusting your knees wouldn't fail you, you moved inside and gestured for him to follow. In the kitchen you found a vase and filled it with water before turning to face him.

“I may have called the office and asked Morgan.” His bottom lip pulled between his teeth. You clenched your legs together and did everything you could not to moan out loud.

How inappropriate would it be if I jumped him right now?

“Sorry. That’s kinda creepy now that I say it out loud.” He laughed.

“No it’s not creepy. It’s thoughtful. They’re beautiful, thank you Ben.” You reassured and touched his arm gratefully. He nodded and when you turned to place the vase on the counter he let his fingers brush where you had touched his arm.

“Ready?” He asked, clearing his throat.

“Yep.” You grabbed your things and headed out the door to Bens car that was waiting in the parking lot of your apartment building. Keeping up his promise of being the perfect gentleman, he walked you to the passenger side and opened the door for you. His hand on your lower back the entire way. Once you were both settled in the car he passed you his phone, spotify was pulled up.

“Alright D.J. do your thing.” He said, pulling out of the lot and onto the street. You laughed and took the phone from him.

Ok do NOT fuck this up!

“Ah the real test.” You scrolled for a little.

“You probably think I'm going to play something Queen.” You saw the smirk on his face but he stayed silent.

Don’t be a cliche bitch.

“While i do love Queen, I'm sure that's all anyone ever plays for you now and I refuse to be that person.” You hummed and scrolled through his playlists. Surprisingly you had a lot of the same taste in music.

Should I pick something funny? Maybe a love song? No, to mushy.

“Oh I got it.” You said before clicking the one you had chosen. ’Thank you’ from Led Zeppelin. Just the right amount of lovey without being obvious. You watched his face as the music started. The smirk faded and a soft smile appeared.

“Why yes boys, she’s not just a pretty face, she’s got great music taste too.” You joked. His face didn’t change. He turned to glance at you before returning his eyes back to the road, smile still in place.

Oh shit. No real reaction.

“So, how’d I do?” You asked. You felt almost nauseous with the butterflies in your stomach. He looked to you again, a look you couldn't place.

"Perfect." He answered in almost a whisper. There was something more to that answer, you could feel it. There was tension in the car. Not a bad one, not a sexual one. Just an energy, an electric charge. This wasn't going to be just a regular date.

I wonder if he can feel that too.

Before either one of you could break the tension your phone chimed with a text message. You took your phone from your purse to see a message from Morgan.

‘YAS you sexy bitch! Get that dickin’ down girl!’ You couldn’t help the laugh that bubbled up and out of you.

“What’s so funny?” Ben asked.

Oh shit

You put your phone on silent and put it back in your purse after texting her back a thumbs up and a winking emoji. The mood in the car shifted, it was light, fun and you could breathe normal again.

“Just Morgan being Morgan.”

“Is that the ‘Let me know if you need me to get you out of this awful date and I'll make something up.’ text?” You laughed and shook your head.

Nope, just my best friend wishing me good luck on tryin to sex you up tonight.

“No, actually believe it or not, we didn’t even have that conversation.” You told him truthfully. The thought of coming up with an escape plan in case things went south didn’t even cross your mind. His smile grew.

“Feelin’ pretty good about this date then?” He chuckled, doing his best to joke but you could hear the nerves in his voice. You turned your full attention to him and put your elbow on the middle console, your chin resting in your hand, a warm smile on your lips. He pulled up to a stop light as you answered.

“Very good.” He turned to look at you, his smile still soft, that look in his eyes you couldn’t place was still shining at you. You watched as his eyes moved all across your face, as if he was doing his best to capture every inch of it, commit it to memory so he would never forget.

Oh my god please kiss me.

The mood shifted again and you found it hard to catch your breath.

There is no way he isn’t feeling this. It’s too strong.

He brought his hand up and let the back of his knuckles gently run along the side of your face.

How have I not noticed how full his lips are. I bet they feel amazing.

“Me too.” He whispered.

Oh god I'm in trouble.

The light turned green, the mood shifted again and Ben continued to the restaurant. As if that intense moment hadn’t just happened. All the mood changes were making you dizzy.

The rest of the ride was nice, you chatted about little things, his upcoming projects, how the rest of your work day was. When you pulled into a spot at the restaurant, Ben jumped out and ran around to your side of the car opening the door for you and offering his arm. You grinned at him and looped your arm in his.

Once inside and at your table, a perfect cozy spot in the corner, Ben pulled your chair out for you. You recognized the name of the restaurant, ‘Ember’ . It was the new hot spot. It was only open a few months and already the reservation list was booked up till a year and a half from now.

How did he get us in here? He doesn't seem like one of those actors to use his name or the fact that he’s an actor, to get what he wants.

You stopped looking at your menu to look at him, his eyes were roaming the page.

“I have to say, I’m a little impressed you were able to get us here on such short notice.” He laughed and glanced up at you.

“Don’t be. The head chef, Ryan, is a close mate from back home. I had to beg him for about an hour after I left your office to get us a table.”

Ugh. The cutest.

“That and while i'm in town I owe him 3 nights of babysitting his 4 year old daughter, Olivia, so him and his wife can go out. So yeah not too impressive.”

Jk, that was the cutest. And now I'm picturing Ben with a 4 year old. I am fuckin done for.

“I wouldn’t say that. I find the fact that you called my office to find out my favorite flower, begged your friend for a table at his restaurant and gave up 3 of your nights to babysit all to have dinner with some girl you just met 10 hours ago kinda impressive.” He smiled and set his menu aside.

"Well she's definitely not just some girl." You also put your menu aside, your head tilted sweetly to the side.

"Oh no?"

"No, she's special." Your heart skipped a beat. That same electric feeling from the car was back.

Fuck.

"Well she thinks you're pretty special too." His face went red and he looked down at the table to try and hide it. The waitress approached the table. She was young, early 20s for sure, pretty and clearly recognized Ben. The electric feeling was gone again.

"Hi, I'm Kate. I'll be your server tonight. Can I start you off with a drink?" She said a little too sweetly. She angled herself towards Ben, her back slightly to you. You could already feel yourself getting agitated.

Please do not fuck up my night with this man you little hoe.

Ben ordered a bottle of wine for the two of you after looking to you for the okay which you gave with a smile and nod. Kate leaned into him just so as he ordered an appetizer for you to share. You were not normally a fan of guys who ordered for their dates but something about the way Ben did was incredibly sexy.

"Is that alright my darling?" He asked. His eyes were wide and innocent, a slight blush on his cheeks.

He's so considerate. And completely oblivious.

You could see the annoyed look on Kate's face as he addressed you. You smirked.

"Of course, whatever you want. I trust you." You said and placed your hand on top of his that was resting on the table. His smile grew so wide it took up his entire face.

He's gonna kill me with that smile.

He flipped his hand over in yours so he could hold it properly. He glanced down at them then back up to you, a questioning look on his face. You smiled and squeezed his hand in reassurance. His wide smile was back again.

"I'll go put this in." Kate said, trying to pull his focus.

"Thank you." He replied and held the menus out of her to take. His eyes never leave you. You felt a surge of confidence pull through your whole body. She huffed, took the menus from him.

"Don't we need those to order?" You asked.

"Oh, Ryan said he wanted to make us something special. For us to just order an appetizer and wine and he would take care of the rest."  

Wow VIP treatment. I'm seriously impressed.

Kate rolled her eyes and turned to leave.

"Oh Kate, could we also get some water please?" You smiled at her. You couldn't help that it was a little smug. Before she could answer Ben brought your joint hands up to his lips, placing a kiss to your knuckles before returning them to the table.

Perfect timing you charming bastard.

"Of course." She answered with a fake, forced smile and left. Your eyes returned to Ben. His smile was shining, addictive and contagious. You could feel yours growing to match. The conversation flowed easily. You talked about everything. Gone were any awkward moments. It was like you had known each other for years vs. only a few hours. You both were still shy and nervous at times but were growing more confident and comfortable as dinner went one. After you both had the amazing meal Ryan prepared for you, he came over to the table.

"Well well if it isn't little Jonesy." He laughed and threw his arm around Ben's shoulders, pulled him close and tousled his hair.

"Mate come on. I'm on a bloody date. Stop it." He struggled to get out of his friend's hold. Ryan laughed and placed a big smacking kiss on Ben’s cheek.

“Muah! Missed you mate.”

“Yeah yeah I missed you too. Now get off of me.” He shook him off but he was grinning the entire time. Ryan shoved at his shoulder with a matching grin before turning his attention to you.

"You must be Y/N, It's a pleasure to meet you." He said, offering his hand to shake.

"And you. Thank you so much for that meal. It was amazing. You are very talented" You gushed and met his hand with yours.

"Great taste and extremely beautiful." Ryan said letting your hand go and leaning into Ben's side.

"That she is." Ben answered, his eyes trained on you. Your heart fluttered.

"She's far too good for you Jonesy." Ryan joked.

"Don't I know it." You were sure your face was red and flushed.

Well that couldn't be more untrue. I'm so worried you're going to realise I'm just an average girl and then you'll be gone.

"Alright shove over, let's catch up for a bit." Ryan said grabbing a chair from a nearby table and pulling it up to yours. Ben slid his chair over to make room.

Oh shit, here we go nerves.

He was now sitting next to you rather than across. His arm instinctively draped over the back of your chair.

Okay, okay deep breath. Fuck he smells so good. No more deep breaths.

The boys chatted away, mostly about what they've been up to and Ryan's family. Ryan asked what you did, you told him and explained that was how you and Ben met.

"You know I would love to do a piece on you." You said taking a sip of wine. Having Ryan there had calmed your nerves, took some of the pressure off. You were relaxed and you could tell Ben was too. He leaned back in his chair, arm still draped over the back of yours. You were lent forwards, elbows on the table engaged in the conversation.

"Me?" Ryan laughed surprised.

"Yeah, I think the people would love to learn about the head chef at the new hot spot. I mean only if you're interested that is. You don't have to. Just a thought."

“That sounds good. Jonesy can give you my number, give me a call and we’ll set it up.” You smiled, feeling proud.This was gonna get you some serious points with your boss.

“Alright, I'm going to stop hogging your date and get back to work. Y/N it really was a pleasure meeting you. I look forward to seeing you again.” He said leaning over to place a kiss on your cheek.

“Jonesy I’ll see you soon for babysitting.” He laughed, hugged his friend and whispered to him.

“She seems perfect for you mate, don’t fuck it up.” Ben laughed and kissed his cheek the same way Ryan had upon arriving at the table.

“I’m sending you guys some desert so get comfortable.” He said before leaving. You turned to look at Ben over your shoulder, he was grinning at you.

"What?" You asked, now matching his grin. He brought the hand that was draped over the back of your chair, up to your exposed back and let the tips of his fingers run across the skin. Despite feeling hot all over, you shivered and goosebumps appeared.

"I've never seen him take to someone so fast. Especially someone I'm interested in."

Ok butterflies, calm down.

“I guess that means I'm pretty awesome.” You joked and leaned back in your chair, turned towards him, your knees now touching. His hand moved to the side of your face. He brushed a piece of hair behind your ear and let his finger gently continue over the shell of your ear, down your jaw and across your chin. Your heart was hammering in your chest. His touch was so soft and gentle you couldn't help but lean into him slightly.

Fuck. Me. Up.

“I’d say pretty awesome doesn't even begin to cover it.”

I swear if you don't kiss me right fuckin now i will exploed.

As if he was reading your thoughts he leaned in slowly, giving you the chance to pull away. He was so close now, you could feel his soft, warm breath across your face.

"Here's your desert." Kate, the waitress interrupted and placed a plate of chocolate covered strawberries on the table between you.

God damn it!

She had a satisfied smirk on her face.

Bitch

Ben pulled back, cleared his throat and offered a weak smile to Kate. It took everything in you not to huff and pout like a child not getting the toy they wanted.

"Chef asked me to give you this." Kate said and passed what looked like the check to Ben before leaving again. You watched as his eyes traveled over it and a grin spread across his face.

"Cheeky shit." He laughed and handed it to you. It was a note from Ryan.

Dinner is on me. Not because of you Jonesy, cause your beautiful date. She charmed the pants off me. The wife's gettin lucky tonight! Hope you are too.

A warm blush spread across your cheeks.

"Well that was very sweet of him." You said trying not to focus on the "hope you get lucky" comment.

"He likes to embarrass me." Ben laughed and nudged the plate towards you. "Strawberry?"

You both ate your dessert and continued to chat. You couldn't believe how easy it was to talk to him. Sure you still got nervous and giddy when he smiled at you and your heart would speed up, making your hands sweat but for the most part your nerves had calmed down enough for you to hold a conversation without stumbling over your words and flushing at the smallest up turn of his lips. When you finished Kate returned to the table to remove the plate and ask if you needed anything else.

“Actually may I borrow your pen?” Ben asked. She nodded and handed it to him. A hopeful look on her face. He took the note from Ryan, turned it over. You watched over his shoulder as he wrote:

Thanks for dinner you sexy man. See you soon for babysitting.

And signed it with a heart.

Kate looked disappointed.

Ha!

“Oh me next” You said, getting an idea. You searched your bag for your lipstick. Red lipstick wasn’t really your style but Morgan had convinced you to buy it once and it’s been in your bag ever since. You put it on, making sure to get it in the corners and lay it on thick. You could see Ben watching you out of the corner of your eye. His mouth was parted slightly and his eyes followed your hand as it traveled across your lips. You smirked at him a little as you rubbed your lips together before pressing your lips to the paper, leaving a perfect kiss mark. You wrote a quick thank you next to it.

“He’s gonna love that.” Ben said, his voice deep and a little rough.

Holy hotness batman

He gave Kate her pen back and asked if she would pass the note back to him. She agreed and left with the plate and note. Ben stood and held his hand out to you.

“Ready love?”

Your heart jumped a little.

Fuck I hope i never get used to hearing that

“Ready” You slyly wiped your sweaty hands on your dress before placing your hand in his. He helped you up and intertwined your fingers, pulling you close to his side as you both walked out of the restaurant. The car ride back to your apartment was filled with laughs. Ben was telling you stories about him and Ryan and all the crazy things they used to do, how they met, how Ryan met his wife and when Ryan asked Ben to be Olivia’s godfather.

When he pulled into the parking lot of your building he insisted on walking you to your door. ‘All part of the perfect gentleman package’ he told you. He took your hand again during the elevator ride up to your floor and swung your connected hands slightly as he walked you to your apartment and released it when you stood in front of the door.

Ok, goodnight kiss, let's do this!

"Thank you Ben, I had a really great time." He took a small step forward and placed one hand on your hip, your heart sped up. His hand felt heavy and the heat coming from him being so close spread through your entire body.

"So did I. Thank you for agreeing to go out with me tonight. I never do this kind of thing but I couldn't leave your office without a definite way to see you again." He laughed a little to ease his nerves, his head leaning slightly closer to you.

Oh god ok, breath

"Well I'm very glad you did." You said, much softer than you intended. Ben had his bottom lip trapped between his teeth as his eyes traveled over your face, landing on your lips. He was close and you could feel his breath across your face again, like at the restaurant. His heavy hand still firm on your hip, his thumb now rubbing along soothingly.

Please kiss me

He brought his other hand up to the side of your face, letting the tips of his fingers run over your cheekbone.

Pleeeease kiss me

You took a chance and placed your hand at the nape of his neck, letting your fingers intertwine in his hair. He smiled and licked his lips.

PAH-LEEAS KISS ME DAMN IT!

"Y/N, can I kiss you?" He whispered.

FUCKIN FINALLY!

Too afraid you'd actually say what you were thinking, you nodded. He smiled and leaned in slowly to close the space between you. You instantly felt an electric shock travel through you causing you to move closer towards him and tug on his hair. He moaned into the kiss and slid his hand from your hip to your back, pulling you flush against him.

You sighed at the feeling of him being pressed against you and your lips parted. Ben wasted no time and slid his tongue along yours. You moaned and let your unoccupied hand glide up his torso, feeling his tight muscles under his shirt to rest on his chest. Ben's hand that was near your face moved to join his other on your back.

Your entire body was on fire, your head spinning, either from the intensity of the kiss or the lack of oxygen, you weren't sure. Just when you were about to pull back to see if he wanted to move things inside, he slid one of his hands down to rest on the curve of your ass.

You whined and pushed back into his hand. He moaned and gripped your ass roughly, causing you to involuntarily snap your hips forward into his. He moaned again and finally pulled away. Ben was panting heavily, his lips were swollen and red, his cheeks flushed and warm. You were sure you looked the same.

Alright, say something cool and invite him inside

You opened your mouth to speak but he beat you to it.

"I can't do this." Your heart dropped and you could feel the color drain from your face.

A/N: Sorry for the cliffhanger but i need to make sure you come back! Don’t hate me!

#Ben Hardy #ben hardy imagine #ben hardy x reader #ben hardy smut #yikes #double yikes

[carewyncromwell]

[LOTR AU] Carewyn “Carey” Cromwell-Took and Orion II Ellessar, Son of Arathorn and Heir to the Throne of Gondor Moodboard

Inspired by @drinkyoursoupbitch and @no-moon-nor-stars!! xoxo

x~x~x~x~x

The small band of travelers settled in a glen just outside the marshy Swanfleet. It would take some time to follow the river up toward Rivendell, so it was decided that it’d be best to take that journey at first daylight. One by one, the members -- Gwendolyn “Wendy” Copper, shieldmaiden of Rohan; her partner and Rider of the Mark, Benjamin; and the elvin twins Selene and Artemis Claire de Lune -- all fell off to sleep.

Orion lit his pipe, the tiny flame flickering in the dark. The campfire had nearly gone out and, he thought, perhaps that was best. With the rumors circulating about the cursed One Ring having been found, he deemed it wise to not attract too much attention.

The ranger called “Amari” had thought he was the only one awake at first, until the soft chirping of crickets and rustling of trees gained fresh accompaniment.

“Far over the Misty Mountains cold

To dungeons deep and caverns old,

We must away ‘ere break of day

To find our long forgotten gold...”

Orion looked down, to see the final and smallest member of their group -- Carewyn Cromwell-Took -- carrying a small pile of wood over to the dying campfire. It was little wonder Orion hadn’t noticed her at first. He wasn’t impressively tall himself, but he still towered over the female hobbit. The thought had crossed his mind that she might even be considered small by hobbit standards, given that she only came up to his waist at full height. 

“The pines were roaring on the height;

The winds were moaning in the night;

The fire was red, it flaming spread --

The trees like torches...blazed with light...”

Her singing had actually lulled Orion into a rather relaxed state of mind, like a child listening to an engaging story -- but seeing her putting down the stack of wood she was carrying and poke the fire prompted him to say something.

“Forgive me for interrupting,” he said very softly, “but given that we aim to travel with stealth, it may be prudent to let it die out, so as not to draw attention to ourselves.”

Carewyn looked up, startled. Then her blue eyes softened and her ruby red lips curled up in a half-smile.

“I see what you mean,” she said, “but given the rumors...well, might the Nazgul take notice?”

Orion blinked. “The Nazgul?”

“Yes -- from what I’ve heard, they’re slaves to Sauron, aren’t they?”

“Yes,” said Orion. “They were corrupted by the nine Rings of Power Sauron gave them, and so can only follow his will and orders. If the One Ring has appeared, as they say...I daresay they would be the most dangerous threat we could meet, while traveling at night.”

“That’s what I thought,” said Carewyn with a nod. “Their primary weakness is sunlight, so they shouldn’t chase us by day...but they’re also weak to fire, so...”

“...Keeping a fire lit until morning would be wise, in case we needed to defend ourselves from a Nazgul attack,” Orion finished.

His voice was very level, but he was actually quite surprised. He hadn’t expected a being of creature comforts like a hobbit to be so...well, resourceful.

Carewyn nodded and set about relighting the fire. She poked the cinders into an open flame, added a cluster of sticks and some leaves, and soon was able to bring it back to glowing, golden light.

Orion considered the tiny woman’s back with interest.

“...The song you were singing,” he mused, “is it from your homeland?”

“The Shire?” asked Carewyn. “No -- I learned it from the dwarves of Erebor. It’s the tale of how the dragon Smaug conquered their home, oh, many, many years ago...”

“You traveled to the Lonely Mountain?” Orion asked, raising his eyebrows curiously. He’d never heard of a hobbit traveling somewhere that far, let alone dangerous. He leaned forward, resting an arm on top of his crossed legs.

“Yes. My brother Jacob had apparently had dealings with the dwarves of Erebor...so I went with two of my friends from the Shire, Bill and Charlie Weasley, to meet them. The dwarves weren’t able to give me all the answers I was looking for, but they were kind enough to host us for a few days. Duncan, son of Dain and Prince of Erebor, sang the Song of the Lonely Mountain during one of their feasts, and I asked him to teach me the words. It was actually on that same trip that I first met Ben.”

“I see...”

Orion put down his pipe at last, his dark eyes trailing over Carewyn’s face with a marked interest. He hadn’t been sure what to make of the two Rohirrim who rode alongside a little she-Hobbit on a white pony when they first collided, but it seemed that this little Lady Took had far more grit than her pretty white shirt with the bow-trimmed collar and wide tan skirt would suggest.

Carewyn cocked an amused eyebrow at Orion. “Are you surprised, that I traveled to the Lonely Mountain?”

Orion inclined his head respectively. “Forgive me -- I can’t claim any intimate knowledge of hobbits...but my understanding was that your people aren’t the kind to chase adventure.”

“We’re not, for the most part,” said Carewyn. “Nor am I either, truthfully. But my brother was -- he always took more after the risk-taking ‘Took’ side of our family, out of the two of us...”

Her gaze drifted down to the fire as she settled herself down on a small stone next to it. The golden-red light of the flames passed over her face, leaving dark shadows around her eyes and on the apples of her cheeks.

“He left the Shire to travel Middle Earth,” she said softly. “But just as he was about to come home...his letters stopped abruptly. We tried to reach out to other towns close by, but no one had heard anything from him. Weeks turned into months, and then a year and still...nothing. So I finally decided to set out and find out what happened to him. And it’s that journey that’s led me here.”

“Do you believe your brother has a link to the One Ring?” asked Orion.

“I believe he was hot on its trail, at least. He tracked its last sighting down to a cave in the Misty Mountains. Apparently from there, it was rumored to have been stolen by a hobbit and taken back to the Shire.”

Orion’s eyebrows furrowed. Was Carewyn’s brother the one who’d found the Ring and supposedly brought it to the elves of Rivendell?

“How long ago was this?” he asked.

“I can’t say for sure, but it was definitely a long time ago,” said Carewyn with a frown. “I hardly know how it could’ve been so long without anyone in the Shire catching wise, considering how in-everyone-else’s-business they all are...but considering the One Ring has now been found, I guess we’ll find out whether what Jacob heard is true or not.”

“And you might have your next lead about what happened to your brother,” surmised Orion.

Carewyn nodded, her eyes still on the flames. She paused for a moment -- then, without fully raising her head, she looked up at Orion out the top side of her eye.

“...Amari...may I ask you about your homeland?”

Orion raised his eyebrows airily.

“I’m afraid I don’t have one to speak about, Ms. Took.”

Carewyn frowned. “Did your family also travel?”

“If they did, I can’t testify to it,” said Orion with a light shrug of his shoulders.

Carewyn looked confused for only a few seconds -- then her eyes softened in a sad realization.

“...Do you not have a family, Amari?”

Orion gave the hobbit a small, reassuring smile. “No. But don’t pity me too much, Ms. Took. I’ve created a family of my own over the years, out of the friends I’ve made across Middle Earth. Much like you have, from what I can see.”

He nodded to the two sleeping Coppers. Wendy had fallen asleep with her head on Ben’s shoulder, only for Ben to likewise fall asleep with his head on top of hers.

Carewyn’s eyes softened upon her friends.

“...Yes, I have,” she murmured, and her voice echoed with fondness.

She glanced back up at Orion, her ruby red lips curled up in a small smile.

“I’d say you have more royalty in your family than I do in mine, however.”

Orion looked down at Carewyn, looking a bit taken aback for the first time.

“...What makes you say that?”

His voice was as balanced as usual, but he watched her face very carefully, all the same.

Carewyn’s eyes drifted away, landing somewhere in the area of his shoulder as she smiled a bit more wryly.

“Your...affect, I suppose,” she said thoughtfully. “Something in the way you talk and hold yourself reminds me of Duncan...though, of course, Duncan doesn’t tower over me nearly as much as you do.”

Orion couldn’t fight back a soft chuckle. “I daresay the Prince of Erebor also doesn’t dress in the attire of a ranger.”

His dark eyes sparkled with amusement, but they still trailed over the hobbit’s ginger hair and almond-shaped eyes carefully.

This Carewyn Cromwell-Took was truly a very intriguing woman...

Her ruby red lips still curled up in a pretty smile, Carewyn got to her feet and crossed over to the large tent that Orion, Ben, and Artemis had put up earlier. 

“Now then, shouldn’t you get off to bed too?” she said. “If you’re going to be helping us navigate tomorrow, your eyes will need to be in top shape.”

“Yes, but one of us should stand guard over the camp,” Orion pointed out. Seeing Carewyn’s reproachful look, he added a bit more gently, “I shall go to sleep once you have, Ms. Took.”

He suspected that she herself was also the sort of person to not go to sleep until everyone else had. It appeared he was right, since she crossed her arms and gave him a rather cool expression.

“I will go to sleep once I know you’re actually going to go to sleep, not just say you’re going to do it.”

Orion chuckled again. “All right, then.”

He leaned back onto the grass, resting his arms behind his head and folding his cloak into something of a pillow. Once he was lying down, he heard the flap of the tent move again.

“Oh...and Amari?”

“Yes, Ms. Took?”

“Please call me Carewyn. Or ‘Carey,’ if you’d prefer. I don’t let anyone call me ‘Ms. Took,’ unless they’re someone I’d like to remain a stranger.”

“I’m grateful that I’m not in that category, at least.”

Despite the lightness in his voice, however, Orion’s dark eyes softened slightly. He could hear the pretty smile in her voice when she spoke again.

“Good night, Amari.”

“...Good night, Carewyn.”

#hphm #hogwarts mystery #lord of the rings #au #carewyn cromwell #jacob's sibling #orion amari #fanfiction #my writing #my fanfiction #aesthetic #moodboard

[multiverseofmiracleshq]

AVENGERS V X-MEN STAGE II : ROUND I : QUICK STATS 

MATCH-UP → gwenpool v kid omega LOCATION → wakanda WINNER → draw CASUALTIES → kid omega switches sides

QUENTIN: Namor was being dramatic again-- no shock there. And as he talked to the crowd, Quention made his way over from off to the side, feet carrying him towards blond hair tinted pink. “Surprise seeing you here.” Quentin crossed his arms and stopped when he was a few feet away from Gwen. He sounded unamused. “Come to join the fun?”

GWEN: While the rest of the Wakanda response team headed down to face the Aquaman with the bad brows Gwen had trudged up the stairs so that she could occupy the roof of one of the city’s incredibly tall buildings. Pulling her gun out, she loaded the weapon and perched it on the edge of the roof and trained her sights down below. Not that she was planning on shooting anything for a second. Wakanda was lit even if she hadn’t made a Black Panther sighting yet and it looked like a hurricane had passed through. With her stomach flat against the concrete and one ankle crossed over the other, she bobbed her head back and forth to the music that rang out from inside her mind. “Why? This is, like, the best part of the story. I wouldn’t miss this for the world.” Rolling over, Gwen stared up at the sky through pink tinted goggles. “I am the fun. You’ve come to join me.”

QUENTIN: Quentin rolled his eyes, hearing the chatter in his mind grow louder as he tuned into the crowd below them. “Looks like the party is starting without you.” He gestured over towards where the mutant and Avengers side were starting to get riled up. “You and that-- dinky gun of yours--” With a flick of his fingers, Quentin moved Gwen’s gun a few inches with a jolt of blue energy. His gun was way cooler.

GWEN: “I’ll live.” Her limbs sprawled out as if making a snow angel there in  the dust and grime of the rooftop. “See, once I go down there I’ll inevitably no longer be able to talk to you and my romantic subplot needs this time. But -- HEY!!” She shot upright when he touched her gun. “Do not touch the Reverend Al Sharpton. That’s my holy gun.” Her brows furrowed as Gwen jumped to her feet so they were standing nose to nose. “What’s up with the bad attitude, huh?”

QUENTIN: “I don’t have a bad attitude! This is how I always am!” He yelled back at her, arms widely gesturing out from his sides. Not a complete lie. Quentin was on edge lately because of his powers, but his classic asshole demeanor was a constant. A few long seconds ticked by as the two of them stood like that-- close together, but not touching. And then he dove in, crashing his lips against hers and grasping her face with both hands.

GWEN: “THEN YOU’RE A LIVING BAD ATTITUDE.” Gwen hollered back. He was only slightly taller so while they weren’t eye to eye she was very close to his lips and then -- yep. There it was. The Phoenix was literally slapping the shit out of her friends and Gwendolyn Poole ( of no relation to one gwen stacy ) was very passionately making out with the enemy. She wrapped her arms around him as well, kissing him until she pulled away with shining eyes. “Hey, I like you. Outside of I need you to stop myself from fading from existence kind of like you. Trippy, right? So wild.”

QUENTIN: When Gwen finally pulled away, Quentin was practically seeing stars. His eyes were locked on hers as she was speaking and it took a long moment for him to realize what exactly she was saying. And when he did, he took it with a grain of salt. “Are you serious?” It was both a question of disbelief and confusion. After all this time, and this weird thing between them, she was talking about feelings now? But he didn’t back away from her, even with the doubt he was feeling.

GWEN: Rapping a fist against his temple, Gwen nodded. One arm was still hooked around his waist but she made no moves to let go. “Do I seem like the type to lie to you? We polled our viewers and the answer is a resounding yes. Hurtful, but true. You’re never going to understand how my head works,” she told him honestly. “And that’s for the best. You don’t want to see in there. It’s like Deadpool on crack. A bunch of empty spaces crammed too full. BUT. I know a lot. Like, a lot a lot about everything and everyone. I know that I like you. Maybe it started off as a scheme to get attention so I wasn’t a side character, but now I’ve missed the big bad fight and that has to mean something. Am I making sense? I think I’m making sense? God, I’d kill for a thought bubble right now or some nice exposition.”

QUENTIN: “You never make sense.” It made Quentin chuckle, even it annoyed the hell out of him sometimes. “But, I kinda like it. Keeps things interesting.” His draw to her was inexplicable in a way, but with the amount of times they ended up lip-locked he was inclined to believe that maybe it was worth exploring. Quentin had never been boring, and Gwen certainly wasn’t boring either. It could work. But she was right-- he would never understand that head of hers. He was a telepath-- and a good one at that-- but it was a complicated and weird place in there. “As stupid as this sounds.. I like you too.”

GWEN: Aw, this was nice. Cute. Totally irrelevant and taking from the main story. It was late !! People needed to go to bed !! ANYWAY - she was, believe it or not, happy. A bit confused which was rare but happy all the same. A boom rocked the building then, the whole structure shaking. Something j-u-i-c-y was happening. Abruptly dropping her arms from him, Gwen ran to the edge to grab Al Sharpton so he didn’t fall over the edge. Another rang out then and the buildings structure began to fall. The part underneath her began to crumble ( which was honestly so on brand ) and then Gwendolyn Poole dropped like a stone from the top of a  very high building towards the street below.

QUENTIN: Were they having a moment? In the middle of a battle they should have been fighting in? Apparently they were, and Quentin questioned the weird warm feeling in his gut as he looked at Gwen and almost smiled. That’s when the battle-- whatever the hell was happening over there-- took a turn and the solid structure beneath their feet started to not be so solid anymore. When it crumbled, Quentin’s instinct kicked in and he managed to catch himself before falling too far. But as he hovered in midair, hands outstretched to create a forcefield between him and any falling debris, he watched as Gwen fell and hit the pavement beneath them. ”Gwen!” He called out to her but was unable to catch her-- his powers were weak as it is, it was a miracle he even caught himself. As quickly as he could go, Quentin lowered himself down to where she fell and when his feet hit the broken concrete he ran over to her.

GWEN: A good long fall never got old. Well, it never got old once you woke up from said fall and got over the bump in your head. Sure, sure. Gwen fell for fun because a girl named gwen falling off of stuff in the marvel universe??? Literal classic. Plus, y’know, there was the fact that she always tended to live. Her admission to Howard the Duck that she jumped off of things to see how far she could go wasn’t a lie. Everyone had to have hobbies. For a little bit everything was dark and her mind recalibrated itself to where she was, who she was with and whatever version she currently was. There was a rock in her mouth that she spit out before Gwen moved some debris around and sat up. “Man, not having super powers is the worst.” She jabbed a finger onto the knot that was forming on her temple and then winced in pain. Yep, still regular ol’ flesh and blood. “Hey -- where’s Al Sharpton?”

QUENTIN: Gwen sat up and Quentin skidded to a halt. She had just fallen how far off of the roof of a building and she was.. Fine? He watched as she spit out a rock. He watched as the girl with supposedly no super powers survived a fall she should not have survived-- right after they talked about their feelings. He stood there, a good few feet away from her, stunning and mouth hanging open. “What. The. Fuck. Just happened..? How are you alive?”

GWEN: “Because I’m not dead. Duh. This, dear readers, is where you say aw at the cute omega telepath who doesn’t understand how I don’t have powers. Which, I do. Sometimes. But not these kind. I’m Special K.” She stopped chattering and looked down at her pinned legs. “Hey, homie, can you move that rock? Kinda pinning me down and I can’t go all 127 hours because I won’t regrow.” Wiggling her feet under the rocks, Gwen debated trying to eat through the rocks herself. “A) how bad do you think they look under there? B) Do you still like me? C) Are you glad I’m not dead?”

QUENTIN: “Yeah, of course I’m glad you’re not dead--” He sounded frustrated but it was because he could barely comprehend what was happening. With his telekinesis, Quentin moved the rock off of her legs and then slowly took a few more steps towards her. “And I still like you. I think. I don’t know, this is.. Weird..” He crouched down next to her when he was close enough. “So you do have powers then? You lied to me before?”

GWEN: While she waited to be freed Gwen picked up a rock and weighed it in her hand before  tossing it as hard as she could towards a building. The sound of broken glass was like music to her ears. “No. Not really. I don’t have powers. Not a mutant, not an Inhumans. I’m... different. It’s part of my gig, like why I’m here. So what I can do is very limited and based on that, and it depends on what run and setting I’m in. West Coast Avengers Gwen is the pretty version of me that everyone likes and I was super held back. When I’m solo and not a supporting character or team member I can do more. You’re going to think I’m Crazy with a capital C, Quintavius. It’ll blow your mind and concept of reality. I can’t really say I have powers. It’s more of a being sort of thing. Other than the falling kink. I’m a good faller, as you can tell. I can’t even tell if anythings broken. Just got this cool knot on my head.” Again she poked it. Even though her legs were free Gwen made no move to get up since he was already on her level. Instead she just wrapped one ankle over the other. “Hey, I met your girlfriend Idie the other day as well. Did I mention that?” It wasn’t a deflection on purpose and her tone remained light. “She’s nice. Hit me in the face, but nice. Does any of this changing you liking me? I don’t want a new love interest.”

QUENTIN: Too much information. Gwen was going a hundred miles an hour and saying things that, once again, made no sense, and it all ended with her talking about Idie. His stomach twisted at the name. He tried not to think about her. For a while he tried to get her back and after her gave that up it was a chapter of a book he tried to close forever. And now-- “She punched you?” That was all he could manage to say after that huge dump of info. “Listen, can we just.. not? Clearly I like you and the fact that you’re not dead is still freaking me out. So please--” He stood back up and then held out a hand for her to grab so he could pull her to her feet. “--can we get the fuck out of here now? I’ve had enough emotions for one day.”

GWEN: “I may have been goading her - which is totally part of my charm - but yeah. Turned her fist to ice and knocked me into a wall. Not that I minded. Told her that she’d find someone better to love her and bought her a pizza. No offense of course. We needed to get the fledgings and Trauma was being creepy af. You can read about it in the chat log.” Taking his hand, Gwen pulled herself to her feet and shook out each leg. Yep, still working. The good ol’ Poole fall routine had worked again. She was thanking her writers for that. “I’m pretty hard to kill, and there’s always another version of me. It’s headache city, trust me.” Without dropping his hand Gwen yanked him to where part of her gun was protruding from the rocks. Unearthing it, she cast a sad look over the ruined weapon before tossing it back to the ground. RIP to the Reverend. There was another waiting at home. Naming it would be fun at least. “Sure. As long as you aren’t all Phoenix team and raid my crib I’ll take you home with me. Innuendo intended and not intended.” Dragging him through the rubble of where a fight they hadn’t participated had clearly been completed, Gwen flashed him a smile. “I missed you, Q squared. Don’t worry. We’re almost at the end.” And they were, for better or worse.

#event: avx #avx: versus #versus: round b #chatlog: versus #momevents

[asking-jude]

I was dating this guy for awhile and we just stopped talking. I thought we'd at least stay friends. I didn't know if I had feelings for him. Well it's been months but I still miss him. I've talked to other guys but everyone makes me miss him. Should I try contacting him again? Would doing that make me look weak?

Greetings and thank you for writing to Asking Jude. No - you are not weak for wanting to connect with someone whom left an indelible impression on you. But, at the same token - it is highly imperative you find closure because you still have feelings for him inside you and these “leftover” feelings still need to be handled! Yes - contact him one more time! Now the key to this is: Do not contact him which borders on stalking.  Contact him from the standpoint of “touching base”. 

I do not normally share, but I am a very mature woman going through the same scenario. Short version: I was friends with someone who is an all-around great guy. I contacted the flu recently; was hospitalized; the flu cleared, but I was left with a lot of emotional/physically/ spiritual “stuff”. I worked it out alone (meaning I did not contact him or anyone else for months) because I needed to perform this task on my own. Finally, I contacted him and now he will not answer my calls or text. Since he is extremely sports-oriented, I called again stating I would give myself “3 Strikes” more to try to reach him. On the “3rd Strike Call” I left a very nice message basically stating I was sorry he decided to end our great friendship in such a manner whereas he was not mature enough to talk to me. I ended the call by wishing him the best and I have moved on down the Yellow Brick Road, whistling! I gave my best shot, but he would not allow me the opportunity to explain why I took the actions I did. 

Moral of this story: I found Closure and have moved on because at some point in any relationship when one partner wants to leave and the other wants to stay -  a mature decision/move needs to be made! I decided to be the one to make that move because life is too short for the “dumb” stuff!

Again - you will not show weakness to contact him 1 more time along with finding closure for self, You will be a better woman for it! But remember: You are your own strongest advocate when it comes to making positive changes in your life!

Take Care,

Gwendolyn

Asking Jude needs YOUR help! Donate pocket change here and save our safe space.

#ask #advice

[jennycalendar]

s3e7: revelations

synopsis: jenny and faith have a difficult argument, and things are still painfully awkward between jenny and giles. sometimes a girl’s just gotta call in her vampire pal for some friendly advice.

INT. LIBRARY — DAY

Jenny is on the phone. At the table, Faith is working on her homework.

JENNY

Yep — yeah, that’s what I figured. Uh huh. Okay. Can you swing by Monday, see if — yeah. Cool. See you then.

Jenny hangs up with a groan, slumping against the counter. Faith looks up.

JENNY

I just want my house back!

FAITH

Didn’t go great with the contractor guy, huh?

JENNY

He says he’s booked till next week because of some property damage downtown. Says there was gang activity and the Mayor called him in.

FAITH

You know “gang activity” in this town just means—

JENNY

Vampires. Yep.

Pulling herself up, Jenny crosses over to the table, sitting down next to Faith.

JENNY

Need any help?

FAITH

I’m cool. Willow’s been giving me some study pointers.

JENNY

(surprised)

You and Willow have been hitting it off?

FAITH

I’m, like, the only other person who came to that first GSA meeting besides Buffy. I think Red just wants a friend who isn’t—

JENNY

Overwhelmingly heterosexual?

FAITH

A case could be made for B being bi. There was some definite tension during patrol last night.

Jenny frowns at the word “patrol.” Faith realizes what she’s said, winces, then looks up at Jenny, all but daring her to comment.

JENNY

Faith, remember what I said about your going on patrol with Buffy?

FAITH

That it’s way too dangerous and you want me to stay safe like a good little girl and blah blah blah?

JENNY

That you’ve been carrying way too much responsibility around with you for a girl who doesn’t have Slayer powers, and that you need to take a moment to just be a normal kid.

FAITH

No one’s telling that to Buffy.

JENNY

Buffy has an amazing support system and a kickass Watcher. You’re still determined to do all these things your own way, and it — honestly, Faith, it really worries me.

FAITH

(insulted)

You think I’m not capable of Slaying.

JENNY

(startled)

I think it’s not something you should have to do.

FAITH

That’s such a fuckin’ cop-out. You just don’t wanna admit that you think I’m weak because I don’t have Slayer powers.

JENNY

Faith—

FAITH

News flash, Jen, I don’t need you as much as you think I do, so you can take your need for a daughter and shove it—

CUT TO:

INT. GILES’S BEDROOM

GILES

She said that?

From the bed, Jenny groans into a pillow.

GILES

I should talk to her.

JENNY

(into the pillow)

No, I need to handle this.

GILES

She shouldn’t be able to talk to you like that.

Jenny pulls herself up from the bed, running a hand through her hair as she looks up at Giles.

JENNY

She’s lashing out, Rupert. She’s thought of herself as a Vampire Slayer for so long that she can’t face the concept of not having to be one.

GILES

Regardless—

JENNY

Regardless of what she said to me, she’s still a kid. And she needs adults in her life who are going to be understanding instead of restrictive and angry.

GILES

She still seems to see you as restrictive, judging by what she said to you.

JENNY

(upset)

It’s not being restrictive if I want her to let go of being a Vampire Slayer for, like, two seconds!

GILES

Jenny, ultimately that isn’t your choice to make.

That throws Jenny for a loop. She frowns, considering, then nods.

JENNY

You’re right. But — she doesn’t seem okay with the concept of being anything else, and I don’t like the concept of a sixteen-year-old child fighting vampires without any superpowers to fall back on. Fact is, I wouldn’t even like the concept of Buffy fighting vampires if she didn’t legitimately have to.

Giles hesitates, then crosses the room, sitting down next to Jenny on the bed. She immediately moves away from him, trying to make it look natural and casual, but the message comes across loud and clear.

GILES

(a little hurt)

Is everything all right?

JENNY

Hell if I know. Faith’s so difficult to read sometimes—

GILES

I meant between us.

A beat, then Jenny looks up at him.

JENNY

(somewhat halting)

It’s just — us in close proximity does tend to lead to kissing, and I don’t feel equipped to deal with that at this juncture.

GILES

(surprised)

Not usually.

JENNY

What does that mean?

GILES

Well, the first time we kissed was — tensions were running high, and, and the second time we kissed wasn’t really a kiss, really. I, I didn’t think it would impact us this drastically, to be honest.

JENNY

Yeah. Well. It kinda did.

There’s an awkward silence.

GILES

Maybe we should kiss again.

Jenny looks up at Giles, eyes very wide.

JENNY

What?

GILES

We’re, we’re avoiding the subject so completely and I don’t think that’s working all that well for either of us—

(awkwardly tender)

—and frankly, Jenny, I miss being comfortable with you. Perhaps us kissing intentionally would make the concept stop throwing us for a loop every time it comes up.

JENNY

That’s—

(thinks about it)

—not a bad idea.

GILES

(startled)

So you—

JENNY

I think we should kiss again.

GILES

When should we—

JENNY

(a little nervous)

Um, right now’s good. Is right now good by you?

GILES

(weak)

Right now seems — reasonable. Yes.

They turn to face each other, Jenny moving so that she’s sitting on the edge of the bed next to Giles. Both of them are having trouble looking at each other.

JENNY

Because then it’ll be less awkward.

GILES

Completely.

JENNY

And I really miss it being not awkward.

Giles does look at Jenny, then, looking kind of touched.

GILES

I miss that too.

Jenny looks up at him and smiles a little, then kisses him very softly without thinking. It’s a quick kiss, one that takes them both off guard with its tenderness. She pulls away, but not completely. They’re still close enough to kiss again, if they wanted.

GILES

Is this, um, is it still awkward?

JENNY

Oh, yeah. Totally awkward.

GILES

We should—

JENNY

Definitely.

They start kissing again. Much less PG-rated. Downstairs, the phone begins to ring, but neither of them make any move to answer it.

INT. HALLWAY — DAY

Buffy, Faith, and Mrs. Post are heading in the direction of the library.

BUFFY

I swear, Giles picks up the phone almost all the time unless there’s some super serious emergency! He was probably just researching and lost track of time—

MRS. POST

I suppose I’ll take your word for it at this juncture.

Giles and Jenny round the corner. Buffy, indignant, hurries to them both.

BUFFY

Giles, what gives? I called you like three times last night and you never picked up!

Giles and Jenny exchange a nervous look.

GILES

Um, we—

JENNY

(too loudly)

Napping! We were — napping. Because of research. We kinda overexerted ourselves with all the, the research.

GILES

Vigorous research.

JENNY

Very vigorous.

Buffy and Faith both look a little curious, but Mrs. Post misses the weirdness entirely.

MRS. POST

A good work ethic is always admirable, Mr. Giles, but not when it interferes with the responsibilities you have as Ms. Summers’s Watcher.

GILES

(confused, a little annoyed)

I’m sorry, who exactly are you?

MRS. POST

Gwendolyn Post, Mrs. I’ve been tasked with assessing the situation here in Sunnydale and seeing if it’s a suitable enough place for a Potential Slayer such as Faith.

FAITH

Apparently, the Watchers’ Council wants to make sure that I stay training. You never know when a Slayer’s gonna bite the dust.

BUFFY

Hey!

FAITH

You know what I mean. Anyway, looks like I’m not as weak as you think I am, Jen, huh?

Jenny looks first at Faith, then at Giles, then turns on her heel and hurries into her classroom. Faith looks unnerved by this, and a little regretful. Buffy, worried, makes a move to follow Jenny, but Giles catches her arm.

GILES

I think she needs a minute.

INT. COMPUTER LAB — DAY

Jenny dials a number on the phone. She waits two rings, then starts talking.

JENNY

Okay, I know you said this number’s for “emergencies only,” but you’re like five thousand years old and I need some quality advice.

INT. ANGEL’S L.A. APARTMENT — DAY

Angel rolls his eyes a little, but he’s smiling.

ANGEL

I’m two hundred years plus.

JENNY (O.C.)

Basically a dinosaur to anyone in their mid-thirties. Listen, Angel, you know a thing or two about traumatizing incidents, right?

ANGEL

Caused a few of ‘em, actually.

INT. COMPUTER LAB – DAY

JENNY

There’s this Potential Slayer, Faith, who showed up in town a few weeks ago running from Kakistos—

ANGEL (O.C.)

Heard of that guy. Honestly, I’m impressed she even made it all the way to Sunnydale.

JENNY

You and me both. But—

ANGEL (O.C.)

She’s not adjusting well to having a less dangerous life?

Jenny looks a little startled.

JENNY

How did you know?

INT. ANGEL’S L.A. APARTMENT – DAY

ANGEL

She’s a kid who’s gone through some intense stuff. There’s no way the adjustment period can be easy.

JENNY (O.C.)

That’s pretty much what I figured. Do you think there’s anything that I can do?

ANGEL

I mean, I have a few ideas, but why did you call me? Why not just talk to Giles?

INT. COMPUTER LAB – DAY

Jenny bites her lip, looking somewhat embarrassed. It takes her a moment to answer.

JENNY

I, uh, tried that.

ANGEL (O.C.)

And what did he say?

JENNY

(very fast)

Before or after we started making out to make things less awkward?

There’s a very uncomfortable silence. Finally:

ANGEL (O.C.)

Yeah, I really don’t see how that’ll make things less awkward.

JENNY

Me neither, but — remember when I said he had a really nice mouth?

INT. ANGEL’S L.A. APARTMENT – DAY

ANGEL

(uncomfortable)

Can we talk about Faith again?

INT. COMPUTER LAB – DAY

JENNY

He has a really nice mouth when it’s on my mouth. Like, he definitely knows what to do with his mouth.

INT. ANGEL’S L.A. APARTMENT – DAY

ANGEL

I really don’t feel equipped for this kind of a conversation.

JENNY (O.C.)

Angel,you’re the only person I can talk to about this! I can’t go up and start talking to Rupert about being in love with him, and I’m definitely not telling the kids.

ANGEL

Look, my take on Faith is honestly pretty straightforward. A kid that age doesn’t always want to be protected, particularly a kid who’s been told that there might be a chance she’s going to get powers that’ll change her life. Just — try and be there for her whenever you can.

INT. COMPUTER LAB – DAY

Jenny smiles, thoughtful.

JENNY

That’s actually a really good idea.

ANGEL (O.C.)

And I’m not giving you advice on Giles. That’s your problem.

JENNY

You said I was your first friend, so you’re going to have to listen to me talk about him for at least the next five minutes.

ANGEL (O.C.)

Wasn’t this supposed to be my journey of self-discovery?

JENNY

It can be that! You can discover your way into letting me vent about how awful it is to be in love with your best friend.

ANGEL (O.C.)

(a little teasing)

You could just write an angsty rock ballad and save me the phone bills, you know.

JENNY

(smiling)

Like you ever even pay your bills.

INT. LIBRARY – NIGHT

Giles and Jenny are standing next to each other by the table and flipping through various books, both of them a little nervous. They keep sneaking looks at each other.

JENNY

So where’s “Gwendolyn Post, Mrs.” going to be staying tonight?

GILES

What? Oh, well, I made it abundantly clear that she wouldn’t be staying with us, so I assume she’ll be in one of the motels within city limits.

JENNY

And she’s not helping us research?

GILES

(bitter)

According to her, our resources are “much too limited and outdated to be of any real use.”

JENNY

That’s ridiculous. I installed a computer just last week!

Jenny immediately starts laughing at Giles’s indignant look.

JENNY

I’m kidding, okay, your resources definitely aren’t limited. They’re great! You have a wealth of musty old books that sit around never being used—

GILES

You’re supposed to be on my side!

JENNY

Rupert, Rupert, Rupert, I am on the side of easily accessible and actually relevant knowledge, not on the side of the outdated Watcher who thinks his books are the end-all-be-all.

GILES

Your computers are horribly impersonal. You know that, don’t you?

JENNY

You just say that because you, as a person, don’t know how to properly use a computer.

GILES

And I’m smart enough to be a Watcher, so shouldn’t that mean something?

JENNY

Based on what I’ve seen of Gwendolyn Post, Mrs., any old snob can be a Watcher. You’re smart enough to be a good one.

Jenny stops herself; she’s getting flirtatious, and she doesn’t want to embarrass herself.

GILES

(touched)

You think I’m a good Watcher?

JENNY

(awkward)

Um, you know, you should take my words with a grain of salt, seeing as my frame of reference is you and that awful British lady who keeps insulting your books and my fashion choices. So I could be a little biased in that respect.

GILES

Still.

They smile a little nervously at each other, stepping closer.

WILLOW (O.C.)

Guys, I think I found something!

Even though they’re not doing anything even close to romantic, Jenny and Giles both immediately jump back. Giles nearly collides with a bookcase.

GILES

(weak)

Lovely, Willow. Do please bring it down here so we can have a look.

INT. CRYPT — NIGHT

There’s a large hole in the floor of the crypt, and Giles and Jenny are rifling through an odd assortment of items in a dusty box they’ve brought up from underground.

JENNY

I wish Angel were here.

GILES

As a matter of fact, me too. He’d be extremely useful in obtaining this glove, particularly since we personally know how many people covet it at this juncture.

JENNY

Maybe I’ll call him and ask him if he can come back to Sunnydale when his journey of self-discovery ends.

GILES

You’re still in contact with Angel?

JENNY

Um, yeah, I called him today to talk about some stuff.

GILES

About what?

JENNY

(evasive)

Some stuff.

Giles is about to press the issue when they stumble across something large and heavy, wrapped in a filthy rag.

GILES

(disbelieving)

I think this is it.

JENNY

Thank god. I really don’t wanna be out here for longer than I have to.

INT. GILES’S APARTMENT — NIGHT

Giles and Jenny stumble in, a bit dusty from the crypt-searching. Giles heads in the direction of the shower, and Jenny crosses over to the easy chair, sitting down.

FAITH

So you guys get to go out and hunt things, but I’m supposed to be a normal teenage girl?

Jenny jumps.

JENNY

God! I thought you were asleep!

Faith turns on the lamp next to her, sitting up.

FAITH

A Potential Slayer’s a light sleeper.

Jenny looks at Faith for a long moment. Then:

JENNY

I’m sorry.

This is the last thing Faith’s expecting. She falters.

FAITH

Sorry for what?

JENNY

The kind of experiences you’ve had, it makes sense that you’d want some kind of control over the forces of darkness. You’re a good kid with a good head on your shoulders, and I want to be there for you in the ways that count for you.

Faith swallows hard, looking touched but trying to be tough about it.

FAITH

I don’t know if I like patrolling. I just don’t like sitting at home while B’s out there fighting evil.

JENNY

Okay. So maybe you hang with me and help research.

Faith makes a face.

JENNY

(amused)

Or maybe not. How about we sleep on it and talk later?

Faith nods, settling back into the blankets just as Giles exits the shower. Yawning, Jenny gets up from the easy chair and heads to take a shower of her own.

INT. LIBRARY — DAY

Jenny’s sitting at the library table, drinking tea. Giles, entering with Mrs. Post, is taken a little aback by this.

GILES

Aren’t you exclusively one for morning coffee?

Jenny looks up at Giles with a small, loving smile.

JENNY

Tastes change.

(noticing Mrs. Post)

What’s up, Gwen?

MRS. POST

Mrs. Post, thank you, and I would like to know the status of the Glove of Myhnegon. Mr. Giles made reference to your finding it last night?

JENNY

Yeah, it’s at my burned-out husk of a house. Maybe I don’t stay there, but it’s home enough that a vampire can’t get in.

MRS. POST

Well, then, we must hide it more thoroughly before someone else gets to it—

JENNY

Or we could just destroy the thing.

Jenny and Giles share a grin. Mrs. Post looks startled.

MRS. POST

Destroy it?

GILES

We didn’t think it could be done, but I came across a text that requires transforming fire into Living Flame and burning the glove.

(for Jenny’s benefit)

In one of my musty old books, I might add.

JENNY

(adoring)

He’s been such a dork about it.

Mrs. Post takes this in. Quietly, she steps over and around to the book cage as Giles and Jenny continue to banter.

GILES

Well, after that lecture you gave me on “easily accessible and actually relevant knowledge—“

JENNY

You know I’m just pushing your buttons most of the time! You have the best collection this side of the Atlantic, according to Gwen here—

Jenny looks over towards Mrs. Post, which is when she sees that Mrs. Post is about to stab Giles in the back with a large broadsword. Without hesitating, she jumps up from her chair and tackles Mrs. Post.

Giles whirls, sees the broadsword, and sees Mrs. Post attempting to cut it into Jenny. Grabbing a large volume from the checkout counter, he brings it down hard on Mrs. Post’s head. She’s knocked out cold. The broadsword clatters harmlessly off to the side.

Wordlessly, Giles extends a hand to Jenny, who’s a bit bruised and bloodied but not too badly injured. She takes it, letting him pull her up, and they stare at each other for a moment before hugging each other very hard.

Jenny pulls back.

JENNY

Are all Watchers like that?

GILES

(shaken)

Not, um, not usually. I may have to check in with the Council.

JENNY

I think she was trying to kill you.

GILES

I’m aware.

JENNY

God, I knew something was wrong from the moment she waltzed in and started talking about how awful your books are—

GILES

You did that to me too, Jenny.

JENNY

Excuse me, I never tried to run you through with a broadsword!

GILES

(only half joking)

You might as well have, the worry you’ve caused me by putting yourself in danger like that—

Jenny places a hand on Giles’s cheek and kisses him very gently. When she pulls back, he stares at her, stunned.

JENNY

You can’t ever really protect people from the choices they make, in the end. What you can do is love them for the people they are.

Giles considers this, then smiles a little exhaustedly.

GILES

Let’s go destroy that glove before someone else shows up and tries to kill one of us again.

JENNY

Good plan.

#fic #calendiles day #maybe i'm in love

[rottenbrainstuff]

Last Jedi Thoughts

Everyone is chiming in with Last Jedi thoughts, so here's mine. Spoilers, obviously! Long and rambling and pointless discussion full of lots of spoilers below the cut.

In general I did enjoy the movie. I have some complaints about it that are really just technical in nature, a bit like reading a book with a good story that has a lot of spelling mistakes. You can still enjoy the story while you grumble about the spelling. And it's funny: watching the extremely negative reaction it's gotten from some people, especially fanboys, has had the effect of making me defend it more rigorously.

The one thing I was worried about was the characterization of Luke. Luke was always My Fav and the really important thing about him to me was his gentleness and compassion. I’m not sure this movie gave me exact the character I wanted, but like, I think I’m ok with it? It was different, and that’s ok.

Look, here's the thing. If you hate the new movies, and you think they're doing terrible things to your favourite characters, well, like, you always have the old movies, and you can ignore the new movies. Shit, you even have an alternate future laid out for you in the EU so like. Just ignore them. I fucking hate the prequels with a passion, you guys, but the prequels didn't ruin Star Wars for me. I just.... don't watch them. Ever. And I ignore everything that happened in them. And. I'm good. Like. That's all it takes? Anyways. The very best thing that I loved about the movie was all the playing with the audience expectations. (man though I think the stress shortened my lifespan. I'm telling you guys, if I watched Finn actually fly into that cannon I probably would have left the theater) Like. Man, I just about had a heart attack like three times. I think this movie shortened my life span. I really especially loved the plotline with Poe and Admiral Holdo, fuck I loved that so much. Guys I was just dying in the theatre when they set it up, DYING, my friends. That is probably my least favourite trope in the entire world, the hardass woman walks in like she owns the place and fucks everything up because she's a hardass, and the heroic rule breaking man saves the day by breaking rules because that's how it's won. I was dying. And Poe was WRONG, SO VERY WRONG. He got a lot of people in this movie killed. A lot of people. But like. It's not because Poe is a bad person. Leia AND Holdo can both see that. I really honestly think he learned a lot, and grew as a character. When he repeated Holdo's "spark of the resistance" speech later on I was so goddamned touched, obviously he has learned so much and has come to respect this person. I loved it. Oscar Isaac is a really charismatic and likeable actor but like, honestly Poe didn't have a whole lot to do in TFA. I feel like I know a lot more about Poe now and I like him so much more. I am kind of hoping the next movie keeps going with this "turn expectations on their head" thing because I really enjoyed it. Well it was sure funny watching Poe bullshit Hux on the comm, and funny to watch him get thrown around like the shit he is, but I'm not so sure... is it wise to set him up as the comic relief like that? I kind of feel like he could be a really sinister threat now, with Kylo Ren in charge and Hux ready to shoot him at the first opportunity... but I'm not sure I take him seriously. I feel like Hux probably had a job in customer service before he was a First Order Commander and that's why he's such a nasty little dogshit now. That sour face he has is the face of a man who has had to deal with a lifetime's worth of dumb customers. I can see myself as Hux in a few years... Ohhh that tricksy tricksy trailer, hunh?!? I was just about choking to death when Ren was in the cockpit and aiming at Leia’s ship, because!!! he presses!!!! the goddamned trigger!!! in the trailer!!! we saw it! Oh my fucking no! And then he TAKES HIS GODDAMNED THUMB OFF and I died. (well actually I started crying) Who else had a goddamned heart attack there????????? Rose was delightful. I wish she could have had more time with Finn cause they were delightful together. DJ (Benicio Del Toro's character) was just...... awful. Like, awful in a good way. Like. That character right there is everything that's really wrong in the world, everything that prevents us from being better. He's not "evil", he's not supporting the First Order because he believes it's the right cause, he's not even an ignorant asshole who doesn't know any better... he knows exactly what he's doing and he does. not. care. One of my favourite lines in the entire movie was Finn yelling at him that he's wrong, and he says, "maybe." Like, not in a sarcastic villain way like Kylo Ren telling Rey "we'll see" when Rey says she's not telling him anything. He means it absolutely sincerely. He doesn't even pretend he's right, like "oh kid, you're so naive, you'll see it my way someday," nope, just, you're right, he might be wrong. He doesn't care. That took my breath away. The porgs: I liked them! They were funny! I wasn't annoyed! And as for the stuff I didn't like.... welp, guys what I'm hearing is that you're hearing a lot about what's wrong with the movie and it's bumming you out a bit. So you know what, I don't know if I'm going to get into it. I do have some complaints about this movie but they're mostly technical. I have some issues with the plot and pacing, and I think the visual composition and visual narrative are weak, (and sometimes just downright bizarre) which is kind of a disappointment when traditionally, Star Wars has always been very big on the visual composition. There were a lot of moments were I was going "oh, that is a very odd choice". To be very honest, it reminded me a lot of the prequels, the prequels had the exact same problem. HOWEVER, the reason I actually liked this movie whereas I can barely even watch the prequels is that all of the characters are emotionally resonant, the themes of the movie are strong, and the playing with expectations was so delightful. Oh no wait, I do have one complaint: why the hell cast Gwendolyn Christie if you're not going to use her? What a waste. I'm hoping against hope she's going to be resting up in a med bay in the next movie and actually have some shit to do, but I'm not holding my breath. Guys I think I could have lived my whole life without that green milk. WTF Now here's some things I'm *confused* about. Why.... why are so many of you talking about Kylo Ren like... you seem to have split him into two people? Almost like Kylo Ren is this malevolent evil spirit occasionally possessing the body of the pure and lovely Ben Solo? It bothers me to see this and I actually kind of wish people wouldn't do it. It's all one single person, and like, that's kind of the point. Kylo Ren has fucked up, a lot. He's made bad decisions and has disappointed literally every single person who ever had faith in him. He feels conflicted by his actions though and hates himself down to his last atom. That's all him. That's BEN SOLO down there making these shitty decisions, and I feel like that's important. I don't like the character because I have excised all his faults and attributed them to some outside force, I like the character because he's complicated and struggling and because he has the capacity for compassion and darkness all in the same breath. I mean I feel like that's kind of why he insisted on Rey saying out loud what he had done. Say it out loud. I own it. That's me. And a monster, yes, I own that, too. I'm not your poor lost prince who just needs a hug and I'll come following you back to the Resistance ship. So guys, like, let's own it, too. It wasn't Ben's alter ego Countess Boochie Flagrante doing all the bad stuff. Life, and the decay underneath, that makes more life, right? I see some of you despairing about Rey closing the door and leaving without Ben, but I'm also a bit confused about that. Like... you didn't really think he would go, did you? This is only the second movie in a trilogy, and just like the original trilogy, it's ending on a low note with lots of conflict and unanswered questions for us to build up from in the next movie. Like, did you see the anguish in his face? Does this look like the face of a man who has lost the last spark of compassion in his heart, and is now ready to unhesitatingly rule the galaxy as the new Supreme Leader? And do you really think Rey has lost all that amazing compassion that she found? All that's happened is that she's realized that her approach didn't work, there's too much history there for her to just walk in and ask him to come with her. Honestly I agree with what a lot of you have said: Rey can't save Kylo Ren, he has to save himself. For as much as he talked to her about giving up the past, he is hilariously unable to do so himself. He can't forgive the people in his life for failing him, and he can't forgive himself for all the stupid shit he has done. He won't be able to go with Rey until he does that. I have no idea what he needs to be able to do that, or if it's even possible. I guess we'll see. Lastly I see some people saying Star Wars has become Pride and Prejudice in space. The comparison is funny but I don't know if I quite agree... Kylo Ren was haughty in the very beginning, but ever since the interrogation scene he's been pretty bluntly honest in his admiration of her. She's being pretty blunt about her intentions, too. And her journey hasn't been so much trying to see the truth about him, but rather becoming a strong and independent person on her own. The problem now is that they're both trying to convince each other to do what they think is right, so, as other people have pointed out, I am instead getting a JANE EYRE in space vibe. So we're at the part in the story where Jane has realized she can't be with Rochester and go against everything she feels is right, and she's left him to go and be her own person without him. ...the comparison is slightly worrying though because Rochester had to loose everything and also get seriously injured before Jane came back.............. (the whole "you're nothing" thing was... I don't see it as him insulting her out of a Darcy-like pride, I see it as...... a really big thing for him in this movie seems to be blunt truth. Yes, I'm a monster. I killed my father, say it out loud. Here's the truth about what happened with Luke that night. You know the truth about your parents, say it out loud. Accept the unpleasant truth. So here's the unpleasant truth she needs to accept. She's nothing, she came from nothing. She has no secret Skywalker or Kenobi parents who loved her. Accept that truth and then move forward.) So now let's talk about Rey, and let's talk about Kylo Ren. So, I think the big success of the Star Wars franchise has always been that all the characters are very emotionally resonant. It so happens that the two most personally resonant characters for me are Rey and Kylo Ren, and how lucky for me that the movie focuses so much on them. Rey just breaks my heart. She is so lonely and so desperately wanting to feel part of something. She doesn't NEED to be a part of anything, of course. She is beautiful and strong all on her own, all from herself. But goddammit it sucks being lonely. That wistful look she had watching Finn fuss over Rose at the end, "I'm happy for you but goddammit watching you makes me feel lonely" fuck man I know that face. Oh Rey. I'm so proud of her this movie, I'm so proud of her strength and her compassion. Man, she's a better balanced Jedi than almost every single person I've ever seen in any of these movies. I'm really glad she got to confront Kylo Ren about him killing his father, what a monstrous thing that is in her eyes, that a family was all she ever wanted in life and it's monstrous to her that he could destroy it like that. And Kylo Ren. I continue to be shocked at the development of his character, that an important Hollywood franchise would make a character so different like this, so emotional and vulnerable and complicated and downright ugly sometimes, and... yeah. My heart just breaks for him too. He has been failed by every person in his life who should have helped him, he's had no one on his side. This is a character who is completely fueled by his struggling and self loathing. Just... yikes. My heart was breaking. I was really interested by his thing in this movie, as I've said already, of being insistent on accepting uncomfortable truths. I think part of it has to do with his self-loathing... when you hate yourself, you delight in inflicting cruelty upon yourself. I think he gets a self-hating thrill out of being named a monster, and accepting the name. But part of it is...... accepting uncomfortable truths. Seeing things clearly for what they are, not what you want them to be. That's something I really personally value, and something I find fascinating about him. It's..... so, like. Lmao. I really can't overstate enough how I much I relate to Kylo Ren and relate to his struggle. With that in mind, I project rather a lot of my own personal experiences and thoughts onto him, so I'm sure it colours my interpretation, and I completely recognize that. But for everyone who was upset he didn't run off into Rey's ship, I don't think he's ready to go with her yet. He can't. I think he feels unworthy. He hasn't forgiven himself for his flaws and weaknesses. It's easier for him to hide in the dark rather than have it all exposed like that. He feels too dirty to be in the light like that. He needs some more time, some more character development. I think he has to forgive himself first, and he can't yet. It's.... a very interesting acting choice to have Adam Driver's face remain so impassive all the time. He took off his mask for the movie, and yes it was a silly mask but wow was that ever a cruel scene with Snoke calling him a child in a mask......... he took off his mask but it's almost like it didn't really help. His face is *so* impassive. When Rey is trying to convince him to go with her in the elevator, he has no expression at all in his face. You only see in the eyes what a furious conflict this makes for him in his soul, what hope and anguish it stirs in him. Obviously this is someone who has had it (probably literally) beaten into him that showing emotions will only get him hurt in the end. Well anyway. I'm rambling a bit now. He reminds me slightly of another very dear character to me in something else. This character, it is eventually revealed, had unfortunate beginnings and is actually on the path to her eventual self destruction because she is so angry at everyone, and so full of sadness, that she can't let it go. In the end she realizes the only way to save herself is to reach out and ask for help. She almost can't, because she feels she doesn't deserve it, and she's too afraid of the possibility of asking for help and no one comes. She does in the end and it's a happy ending and now I can never tell you the name of this thing because I just spoiled the entire ending, but I wonder if that's the key for Kylo Ren too... he can't bring Rey to the dark with him, he has to find the strength to ask for her help. Anyways. One last thought: It's really interesting how like... all the characters are really... really brand new. There's no character with an arc quite like Poe in the original trilogy, no character quite like Rose, no character quite like Finn. And then there's Rey and Ren, who are doing a beat-for-beat recap of the original trilogy plot points, but always with a twist. So we're set up with the scary bad guy in a mask working for an even scarier bad guy, and the dusty kid from nowhere. So first of all the bad guy kills her new mentor (so far so good) They have a dramatic first fight (except she kicks his ass and injures him) He dramatically reveals who her parents are (except it's nobody) Then asks her to join him (except she refuses) She decides she can save him so she turns herself in to the bigger scarier bad guy who tortures her, and he kills the big scary bad guy and saves her (except he still refuses to be a good guy) Well........ we've run out of movies, now. What happens next??? Honestly I don't know, I really don't know. I mean I would say that there's been so much buildup and emotional investment in Kylo Ren and his connection with Rey that obviously they are planning to have him redeemed, and the twist will be that unlike Vadar, he survives at the end. Then again I don't know. This movie was so hardcore about smashing expectations, and really hammered home the thing that you have to let go of the past. Maybe part of that is letting the Skywalker legacy die. I mean. Shit that also sounds equally likely to me, guys. I don't know. I mean I never ever thought we'd get so much character development in this movie either so like. I literally don't know. Anything is possible. Well.... there's a lot of pointless thoughts. If you want to chat about the movie, hit me up in my messages.

#the last jedi #tlj #star wars #reylo #spoilers

[mikeshanlon]

goddd I cannot believe u have read iwwv u don't know me but for some reason we watch like.. the same shows and now books lol. anyway can I ask what were ur thoughts on the ending? like to me at least it was onvious Oliver had not done it and he wasn't gonna pull a unreliable narrator last minute (despite being an unreliable narrator) I'm talking abt the whole uhh James is a**** thing.. like what HAPPENS NEXT? is he w wren? also I feel so bad for meredith like girl love urself.. sry 4 the essay

omg yes taste!!!! Also no I’m dying to talk abt this novel so don’t apologize if anything im sorry bc I wrote way too much answering ur question LGRNLRGN

IF WE WERE VILLIANS SPOILERS UNDER THE CUT go read it if u haven’t it’s legendaric

Okay the ending!!!! AH!!!! Okay yeah so I think it’s clear Oliver did not do it, I think the ambiguity lies more whether or not James intentionally killed Richard or if it was an accident. Like, did he see Richard stumbling out in the woods hella intoxicated and think to himself that this was the perfect opportunity to get revenge for all the abuse and torture Richard had been terrorizing him with??? Did he lie to Oliver? Personally, I believe James that it was an accident… of sorts. I don’t think James set out with the intention to kill Richard at all. But Richard was goading him and fighting him and after the buildup of cruelty and tension between them over the past few months, Richard be a homophobic dick and calling James and Oliver qu*er and prodding at the most important relationship in James’ life struck a nerve. So when Richard wanted to keep fighting and hurt him again he was like fuck this and he hit Richard too hard with the hook and that in tandem with Richard being drunk caused Richard to fall and die. And, like the others, James felt awful but there was a sort of sick sense of relief.

(Also, I’m not exactly sure Oliver counts as an Unreliable Narrator. I mean he is certainly keeping some things from that detective guy but, and I was reading something from M.L. Rio about this, like he’s literally just oblivious and dumb as fuck sometimes LKGNLRGLKNRG. So idk how often he’s intentionally Unreliable but I also get what you mean)

Anyways I’m totally a believer that James is alive bc despite enjoying dark stories im like okay but I need a happy ending LGKNLKRGlkenlgneg. Like c’mon they never found the body……….. A metaphorical death and shedding of his past life bc he blames himself for Oliver taking the fall is like the MOST tragic hero Shakespearean shit ever like it just works so well!!!!!! The part where Oliver describes the last time James visited him in jail…

“Oliver I’m begging you,” he said. “I can’t do this anymore.” When I refused again, he pulled my hand across the table, kissed it, and turned to leave. I asked where he was going and he said, “Hell. Del Norte. Nowhere. I don’t know.” (343).

GODDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDd. God. Anyways I think that was very telling of his plans. Hell (for “committing suicide”, moreso for all of his wrong doings). Del Norte is the beach that him and Oliver slept on that one night and so I feel like that place holds a lot of significance for them, but it’s a place only those two know the significance of. So, I like to think he ran away there and started a new life. He wrote that letter with the disjointed Pericles monologue I think to hint to Oliver that he was at Del Norte, if he wanted to find him, because even though his “death” was a self-punishment for ruining Oliver’s life, he still cares for him a lot and doesn’t want to be without him. Like a whole monologue about the sea????????? The fact that he literally said the monologue to Oliver while they were at Del Norte?? “To give my tongue that heat to ask your help; / Which if you shall refuse, when I am dead, / For that I am a man, pray see me buried.” LIKE WHAAAAAAAAAAT god !!!! Also water is gay<3 and in my heart Oliver goes and finds him and they like work through shit and are together.

Anyways I don’t really think he’s with Wren. Their relationship during senior year was always sort of ambiguous to me…. Like they definitely got super close, they probably were romantically involved in some capacity (since other characters like Alexander who is much more perceptive were like Oliver how did it take you this long to notice LRGNRGNK) though idk if it was like the Encompassing Love Affair Oliver thought it to be bc he’s oblivious and jealous. And also like James was very much enamored with Oliver so idk. (EDIT i just remembered they slept together LMAO but i think my point still stands) In the epilogue Wren is in London and is a recluse and doesn’t reach out to any of the Villains which like. Good for her LRGNRLG even though I hated Richard I can’t imagine like how much of a toll that took on her to see her cousin die and all their friends be like uh yeah we should let him die and then have to keep up a lie like… even though she agreed Richard was awful that has to be so heart wrenching (badumtss) and life ruining. So I think she especially wouldn’t want to be with James seeing as he essentially led Richard to fall into the lake, though I’m not sure if she knows that or not.

And Meredith!!!! Like I’ll be real sometimes she frustrates me but I think she’s also SUCH an interesting and realistic character (which is something I love about this novel, all the characters are interesting to me and I like how the female characters are portrayed.... like i LOVE Fillipa she is such a bad ass bitch but again she’s not just like. Expected to always be strong and clever like she’s got feelings too. Anyways love her). As I said before I was perusing through the author’s tumblr a bit and ppl were like “omg why did Meredith go through all the male friends” like BYEEE literally feeding into the stereotypes that made her feel insecure and weak… (Also again, they’ve known each other for four years… so its not that insane lmao). I think Meredith’s relationship with her sexuality and beauty is very interesting and relatable for a lot of women (I mean I am not. Like a seductive femme fatale like she is but LGKNKRGN). On one hand she is definitely a multifaceted person who is more than her sexuality, on the other, she’s constantly Literally Cast by Gwendolyn in sexualized roles and seen as sexualized by her friends/bf (Richard) and constantly told her worth in and out of the theatre is her body. Like there is an interesting duality about the power she possesses with her sexuality but also the extreme insecurity that is bred by being constantly sexualized and this struggle of like knowing she has worth outside of her body but also sort of … not in the eyes of others. That scene where they’re doing those exercises of their strengths and weaknesses really Hit. Anyways yes Meredith love urself queen… get a hot respectful gf… become a powerful successful legend…..

Related-ish sidenote, obviously I like James and Oliver together the most though I will say Meredith and Oliver’s relationship was interesting though ultimately unhealthy…. Like one of the aspects I like about their relationship is Oliver respects Meredith and when he realizes he is falling into that idea that Meredith is this super sexualized person he’s like hold awn that’s shitty of me… But also I think the fact of the matter is that their relationship was catalyzed by shitty stuff,,, like lust and the need for revenge. Like I honestly don’t really think they would’ve gotten together if not for the extreme animosity with Richard and the adrenaline of like that whole show run and more particularly That Night…. It feels like they got together because they were drunk and they’re attractive, which like yeah fine valid, but also, subconsciously, to be like fuck you Richard. Like, guess what I’m with the guy who you’re constantly saying doesn’t matter. And also seeking comfort and validation when their most important people are not valuing them (Richard being literally fucking awful to Meredith, James sort of pushing Oliver away—again I think subconsciously was sort of a revenge jealousy type thing where Oliver is with the person that James doesn’t really like and makes not amazing comments about being promiscuous). And then their relationship I think keeps going because like. Wow grief is a bitch and they want some comfort. Meredith is drawn to Oliver because he’s one of the only people who values her for more than just a sexual object which like is What She Deserves but their relationship is like a mess of sex and guilt and Oliver is in love with James (the parts where Meredith drags Oliver for caring more about James… iconic as she should! Like when Oliver is like sorry James is visiting me I’m not coming or when she’s like are you more jealous of him or me when they kissed for that scene….. OOP!). Anyways idk if that makes sense but I find Oliver and Meredith’s relationship interesting bc it’s not like… the worst unhealthy relationship ever or anything and I think there is genuine care and love/attraction there between them but like Oliver is never going to totally Be What Meredith deserves especially because like… he loves James more. Also the part where Meredith slaps Oliver when he gets out of jail and he’s like yeah I deserve that is so GLKNRglkenrgnrg to me.

Anyways I probably have more thots but wow. This is long. Sorry LGRNLKRGNng

#if we were villains #books #anon #ask #okay i edited something and idk why tumblr glitched the fuck out at least on my dash but i added the read more again... #tumblr is a broken hellscape <3

[in-an-ecotone]

Champions of Worlds

Chapter 5! This one’s a little shorter, so I’m sorry for that, but chapter 6 will be much longer (it might take me a while to get out b/c it’s longer). This one’s from Jasper’s perspective (she is super fun to write just saying) in case that wasn’t clear at first. Hope you like it!

Chapter 5-

Before anything happens, I need to make this clear: I am not friends with Kaj. I don’t like him, I don’t support his choices, I don’t want to be on his side, and as soon as all of this blows over, I will resume not speaking to him unless absolutely necessary. However, Oriana does not have the right to kick him out of a meeting. Even if she thinks this is a “dictatorship,” as per the Laws of the Council, it is definitely a democracy. In order to remove a champion from a council meeting, there needs to be a vote.

Kaj left shakily, and I actually felt sort of sorry for him. Even though he was about to say something most likely insulting about me, he doesn’t deserve that embarrassment. Once he was gone, and the echoing of the doors closing stopped, Oriana continued.

“As I made clear to Kaj, there will be no more discussion of this Pluto debacle.” She stated. “And I would like to remind everyone that once I make a decision, it is final. There are no arguments. Does everyone understand that?”

Her gaze swept around the room, waiting for our confirmation. Carlin nodded nervously, and others followed suit. I didn’t, and I made eye contact with Quilo since fey didn’t either. We had a short moment of understanding as we both gave a small nod together.

“Good,” Oriana continued, and I turned back to her. “Don’t worry about Kaj, I’m not demoting him.”

No you haven’t because you don’t have the authority to, I thought bitterly.

“However, you might want to keep your distance from him, as he may be a bad influence,” She warned. Carlin lowered his head sadly.

How dare you upset that beautiful ray of sunshine, you bitch! I took in a deep breath, fighting to keep my anger under control.

“So, I think that’s everything I wanted to cover. Today’s was a short meeting, I’m sure you’re all glad for that,” She concluded. “Keep everything I said in mind during future events. Council dismissed.”

I’ll keep them in mind when I accuse you of breaking the Laws of the Council, I retorted in my head. The scraping of chairs filled the chamber as everyone stood. Quilo approached me calmly.

“Come with me to my section, we’ll talk about some things,” Fey said softly, taking my hand. I followed silently, appreciating feyr desire for privacy. We passed my section on the way; I stared longingly at the floating model of Mars and its two moons. Phobos and Deimos would have to be patient until I got home.

Walking with Quilo proved to be exhausting. Feyr section was on the other side of the CPC, and fey took long strides which I could barely keep up with. I practically had to run to keep pace with feyr. Fey didn’t notice, but I didn’t want them to; I’d rather not show any sort of weakness. Soon we were at feyr section, and fey let go of my hand. We slowed down as we walked into feyr section, thankfully. Quilo kicked off feyr heels, rubbing feyr feet. I could understand that, those heels were ridiculously high.

The front room was nice and cozy; there was a couch in the center facing the left wall, where the holoscreen was set up. In the back there was a deck out in the night sky, something only Quilo and Gwendolyn had because of where their sections were. On the right wall there was a large dining table with seven chairs and a door right behind it. Outside on the deck, a wooden staircase led up to a balcony, which came back inside to a second level. It was small for the amount of people living there, but very comfortable.

“I’m home!” Fey called loudly. Quieter, fey addressed me, “Give me a moment please, I must care for all my moons.”

“Take your time,” I waved it off. Suddenly a stream of people came running down the stairs. There were twenty-seven moons living here, which must make Quilo’s life chaotic. They were incredibly loud, it was almost uncomfortable.

“Settle down, settle down,” Quilo shouted over them calmly. They quieted, and fey gave some instructions. “Right, Jasper is here, and we have some important things to discuss. So, since it’s about lunchtime, Oberon, you get everyone into the dining room. Titania, there are practoblends in the kitchen, get them for everyone please. Umbriel and Miranda, start setting the table please. Jasper and I will probably not be joining you, since we have so much to discuss.”

Four moons started rushing to accomplish their given tasks, and it quickly became chaotic again. Quilo led me upstairs and into feyr room. It was nice and quiet in here. It was also very cold, though I expected that. The room itself was also very small, much smaller than my room. There was only a plain grey bed, a holoscreen, a table with a dresser, and a bookshelf. It was somewhat claustrophobic.

“So, that was a giant waste of time and energy,” Quilo sighed.

“It certainly was, as well as a giant violation of the Laws of the Council,” I agreed.

“Yes, the Laws clearly state that in order to remove a champion from a meeting a vote must occur,” Fey nodded. “However, the standard booklet does not give proper instruction on what to do in case of a violation.”

“There is a violations booklet that states the specific consequences for breaking each law,” I said. “In this particular situation, Oriana could be removed from the Council permanently.”

“Are you certain?” Fey smiled mischievously.

“100%,” I confirmed. “The violation laws clearly state that skipping a mandatory vote will result in a vote by the Council on the perpetrator’s fate. If we play our cards right, we can get the Council to kick her off.”

Fey hesitated for a moment before saying, “I like you.”

I took a small bow playfully. “Shall we get to work?”

“Where do we start?” Fey asked eagerly.

“Well, we have to go to Kaj so we have proof it happened. Then we need a witness to confirm he’s not lying. We have to submit their testimonies to the Galactic Council, and then they’ll give us the go ahead, and we can have the vote,” I explained. “We record that meeting and submit the video to the GC, and then they’ll second our ruling.”

“What happens if we kick her off the Council? She is the Head, after all,” Quilo questioned.

“Yes, not having a Head of the Council is problematic,” I nodded. “We would have to vote on a new Head, and then the GC would have to approve them. I suppose we probably could vote on the new Head at the same time as we vote on Oriana’s fate.”

“Before we get ahead of ourselves, we should go visit Kaj and get him to testify,” Fey held up a hand to stop me.

“Yes, we should. Shall we?” I asked, gesturing to the doorway.

“Let’s,” Fey said, and we left feyr room. “Guys, I’m going out for a little while, be good!” Fey yelled to the moons. There was an incoherent shout from the dining room that fey took as an answer.

We walked swiftly to Kaj’s section, and I once again had to jog to keep up with feyr. Once we arrived at the section, Quilo pushed the button to request access.

“Who is it?” We heard Kaj’s voice through the comm.

“Jasper and Quilo,” I said. There was a pause.

“What do you two want?” He questioned doubtfully.

“We want to talk about today’s meeting,” Quilo answered softly. Another pause.

“Come in,” He said. We entered his lavishly decorated section as he came down the stairs.

“So have you come to mock me?” He asked.

“Actually, we want your help,” Quilo explained.

“Really?” He arched an eyebrow, staring skeptically at me. I crossed my arms annoyedly.

“Surprisingly, yes,” I retorted. Quilo quickly continued before we could start arguing.

“We need you to testify before the Galactic Council,” Fey requested. He looked back and forth between, confused.

“Why?” He asked slowly.

“In order to remove a planetary champion from the Council or from a meeting, a vote must be held,” I recited the rule once again. “Oriana skipped that vote and seems to think she is some dictator, so we want her punished.”

“Yes, that’s correct. We were hoping you could help us with that,” Quilo nodded.

“How exactly would this work? Do I just say she kicked me out and then they deliver a punishment right away?” He asked. I quickly explained the process again, annoyed at the lack of knowledge of these rules and regulations.

“So are one of you going to testify as a witness?” He said when I was finished.

“That would make the most sense.” Quilo confirmed.

“Actually, because we’re the ones submitting the accusation, they wouldn’t accept our testimony because we could be biased against Oriana,” I denied.

“So we need someone else then,” Kaj concluded. “How about Piera?”

“The dwarf planet?” I asked. “It needs to be someone who witnessed the event, stupid!”

“Well, Oriana did kick her off the Council too, maybe we could use that against her,” He suggested.

“She wasn’t a planet though. Can we still count that?” Quilo asked. They both looked to me for confirmation.

“Well…” I thought about it. There was no Law against non planetary champions being members of a Council, and we did not hold a vote for Piera’s removal. I suppose it was technically another violation. “Yes, it could count,” I confirmed.

“Good, let’s tell her,” Kaj said, starting to leave the section. Quilo and I followed him at a brisk pace.

“Before that, let’s stop at Carlin’s section to get him as a witness,” I said, hurrying to keep up with them. Quilo took my hand again, and then Kaj took my other hand. I felt like a child, practically swinging in between them. Kaj noticed and smirked, walking even faster.

Oh, fuck you, you smug piece of shit, I thought to myself. I’d get him back for this. Eventually.

As expected, Carlin was fully on board with our idea, and he took my place swinging in between the taller champions as we moved on to Piera. I walked, well ran, next to Quilo, who thankfully didn’t comment on my struggle to keep up. Stupid long-legged champions. I bet I could beat all of them up by myself if I wanted to.

While we walked to Piera’s section, we passed Oriana in the hallway. We stopped dead in our tracks as she faced us. She looked from Quilo, to me, to Carlin and Kaj, and she just glared, as if she was silently warning us. She slowly turned and continued walking, and we silently past each other. I was a little nervous, but I couldn’t show any weakness.

None of us said anything, but we walked a little faster after that encounter. Luckily, it didn’t take long to get to Pluto’s section. Quilo let go of Carlin’s hand to push the button by the doorway, but Carlin had a death grip on Kaj’s hand. We waited a few moments for Piera to answer.

“Hello?” She eventually answered. “Who’s there?”

“Quilo, Kaj, Carlin, and Jasper. We need to talk,” Quilo said quickly.

“Come in,” She said worriedly. We entered her section, eager to escape to somewhere private away from Oriana. Her section reminded me of Quilo’s home, very small and cozy.

“What’s the issue?” She asked. From a doorway in the back, we could hear laughing and yelling. “Please excuse them, they get overexcited.”

“No matter. We’d like for you to testify before the Galactic Council,” I said.

“What? Why?” One of her moons came out of another room.

“Don’t worry, Charon, she’s not in trouble,” Kaj assured her. I explained our plan for the third time, and Piera remained silent until I was finished.

“So, did Oriana hold any kind of vote when she kicked you off?” I asked after reciting the law.

“No. I didn’t even know I had been removed from the Council until yesterday. She just stopped inviting me, and I kind of assumed there was a long break in between meetings. It’s not unusual,” She shook her head.

“Do you not watch the news?” Carlin asked curiously.

“Occasionally, but they weren’t reporting much on the Center since nothing was happening. Usually they talk about the Galactic Council,” She shrugged.

“More importantly, that’s another violation. If someone is removed from the council, they must be notified of that. I would have thought that was obvious,” I interrupted.

“So, with now at least three violations under her belt, Oriana’s quickly becoming abusive of her power as Head of Council,” Quilo concluded. “Will you testify?”

“Of course I will,” Piera agreed.

“And I’ll happily testify as a witness,” Charon offered.

“Then let’s get to work,” I said.

Again, sorry it’s so short, but next chapter will be longer I promise. I’m still open to any feedback if you have it. Thanks for reading

@asexual-trashbag @d-strider @blueberryxz @deafinatelyfangirling

#champions_of_worlds #new chapter #writing #my writing #space #planets #jasper