#yes i know i haven't posted art in like 2 years but whatever

[punkitt-is-here]

Frequently Asked Questions!

Heyo! I get a TON of asks each day, so I'm making this post so that folks know what's already been asked so my followers don't have to see the same stuff over and over, haha.

Hi! I'm Punkitt! I'm a game developer, artist, editor, director, and a bunch of other stuff! I'm working on an RPG called Astral Guard, a platformer called Susan Taxpayer, and I have a couple more fun projects in my pocket like Happup and Super Mario Death Row.

Why do you have so many hats? Do you know you have that many hats?

ye i like hats. :) free tumblr badges for one pea i like one piece and took as many as i could. free.

Where can I find your art/game development/horsecomix?

Great question! Everything I make that's my own and not a reblog is under "my posts", every bit of art I do is under "my art", any game development I do is under "gamedev", you can find all my MLP art under "mlp, my art" or "horsecomix" for the best stuff. I also have an "animations" tag and a "shitposts" tab. I also properly tag all my asks to be asks and write out the asker's name, so if you don't wanna see those just mute the ask tag.

Do you have a Patreon or a Ko-Fi?

I do have a ko-fi here! I also JUST launched a Patreon, which you can find here :)

What do you use for your art?

I use FireAlpaca and Paint.net for misc. effects!

What are you using to make your games?

I use FireAlpaca do make my assets! Astral Guard, Happup, and any other top-down RPG games I make are all made in RPGMaker 2003. Susan Taxpayer is made in SMBX2 Beta 4, a Mario fangame engine with lua support!

Why are you using a 2-decade-plus engine to make games?

It's fun!

Do you have a sideblog or something for your art?

Not right now! What you see is what you get. I do have a sideblog for Astral Guard though, if you want to follow that game specifically! @astral-guard

Can I make an OC based on your work? ABSOLUTELY!!!!!!! THATS THE COOLEST THING EVER!!!! LET ME KNOW IF YOU DO!!!! I WANNA SEE!!!!

Can I do dubs/redraws of your comics? As long as you credit me! I get a ton of notifs each day, so if you wanna show me (and PLEASE i so do wanna see fun dubs and redraws!!!) tag me or DM me!

Can I use your art as a PFP? Sure! Just credit me somewhere. :D

Are you the one who trapped her coworkers in a room and made them listen to TF2 lore?

Yep! Everyone had a blast actually. :]

Did you make that comic where Fluttershy eats the weed brownie/Rainbow Dash has a male living space/someone has a cutie mark that says they'll kill Ronald Reagan?

Yep! That's me.

Where are you in MLP right now?

Currently just finished Season 7! Haven't watched the movie yet.

Have you watched Equestria Girls?

Yep! Thought it was super cute. I watched up to Rainbow Rocks and plan on watching more.

What's your opinion on MLP so far?

I love it! I think it's cute. I really don't agree that there was some sort of huge quality drop after season 2 or whatever.

What do you think of G5?

Not my style! I don't really like either animation types and it just seems like I'm not in the audience anymore. That's totally chill, but it just doesn't grab me!

Have you watched any other MLP stuff from previous generations?

Nope! But I did see a compilation called Minty Being Autistic for Six Minutes Straight that I loved. she's perfect.

Favorite pony?

Don't got one, I love all the Mane Six a LOT, but I'm particularly fond of Fluttershy, Applejack, and Rarity!

Favorite episode/season?

I'm so bad at picking favorites! But any season past Season 1 I have a blast with because I feel like it's just more my style. I don't have a favorite episode, but the most recent one I can remember LOVING is the one where Starlight bottles up her emotions because it was REALLY funny.

Do you like Pony.mov?

Nope! And stop saying my stuff reminds you of it, it's a lil annoying!

Have you watched the Mentally Advanced Series/Friendship is Witchcraft/Other fandom vids?

Probably not! My interaction with the MLP fandom prior to last year was pretty minimal, so I'm making my way through the show first!

What do you think of Fallout: Equestria?

I think it's super weird but really fun because of that. I've never properly read any of it but it's very fascinating to me.

Are you transgender?

Yep! I go by she/her, I'm a trans woman. Have been for many years, but I only recently came out online!

Are you a lesbian?

Nah, I'm bisexual!

Can I commission you?

Yeah! I only have my commissions available on my Ko-Fi at certain times though, so keep an eye out! I usually announce slots being open at least 12 hours beforehand. Slots are usually first come first serve, but we'll see.

Can I use your art as a Discord emote?

Yeah man i'm not scouring every discord on the planet to find stickers of my work. i think it owns if people take my stuff and make it stupid injoke emotes between friends that makes me very happy.

Can I send you an ask inquiring about gender dysphoria?

I feel like this is beyond my capabilities of advice! I'm actually very comfortable with my body and I have been for many years, so I don't know if I can give any good or helpful advice on that front. Apologies, but there are many resources out there where you can ask about those things if you look for them, like Discord channels!

Favorite Color?

I'm a sucker for blue!

Favorite coffee?

Can't drink coffee, my stomach is cringe.

Favorite tea?

I'm lame and can't drink most tea but I love this one orange-flavored tea a lot. I also LOVE ice tea.

Can I say you're horsegender/punkittgender/a little gender goblin void thing?

Well, I can't stop you, but I'm kind of beyond that phase now! I really am a boring ol' plain she/her girl, and I like it that way. It's not much, but it's honest gender.

What's your favorite game series?

Mother, Kingdom Hearts, Mario, and I USED to say Fallout, but I found out I'm really only a big Fallout New Vegas fan.

Favorite game from those?

Mother 3 is one of my fave games of all time! I love KHII, and I'm tied for SMB3 and SMW. Also Fallout New Vegas fucks hard.

Any other favs?

Bug Fables, SLARPG, and TF2!

Favorite Movie?

Everything Everywhere All At Once, no question.

Oh, are you going to college?

Yep! I'm a film/theater major.

Do you have a YouTube channel?

Yeah! Click right here for it, I stream there and upload footage of my games/animations/my film projects + other stuff.

What is that little orange creature I see?

That's bweenop, my little persona that I use when I'm feeling a little scrunkly.

Do you have a ponysona?

Yep! Her name is Star Magnolia, you can search her on the blog to see art of her.

When will Susan Taxpayer/Astral Guard/etc. be out?

No clue! I take things slow, that's just how I am.

How do you work on so many things at once?

I make small, satisfying amounts of progress! I never try to complete one giant thing all at once, I just like doing small bursts of fun stuff. I got ADHD, so I learn to work with it.

Did you know you look like Weird Al?

Im going to run you over with a clown car watch out

WHY do you work on so many things at once?

Fun! I like learning, I like making cool stuff, and I like showing it to people :)

Do you need any help with your projects?

Potentially! I'll probably put out a post asking for help if I need it.

If you could be a horse, would you?

You kidding me? Several ton beasts with the frailty of a sickly Victorian boy; my clumsy ass would never survive.

Are you some sort of...furry?

yeag

Why do you reblog so much?

Brother I LOVE posting. that's just how it is.

Fav music artists?

It changes literally ALL the time but I will recommend ANYTHING by Vylet Pony, its music is incredible and probably the reason I'm a weird niche microcelebrity now.

Why are you like this?

theater kid + having a lot of fun on the internet makes you a bit silly hehe hoo

SUSAN TAXPAYER QUESTIONS

Is it out? Not yet! But hopefully sometime in the next year. I dunno! I take things at my own pace and keep stuff fun. :)

What are you using to make it? SMBX2! It's a free fangame engine for Mario episodes, but it's incredibly versatile and has a wonderful community, so I decided to make Susan Taxpayer in it.

Is there a demo? You betcha! You can find it right here. I'll also probably put it up on my itch.io.

How do I install it? I made a post here about how to run the SAGE '23 demo!

#FAQ #my posts #punkitt FAQ #announcement

[weirdly-specific-but-ok]

Hello my maggots (especially the tumblr maggots whom I haven't seen on Discord recently), I've missed you so much and I'm sorry I haven't been posting the past few days.

It appears I used up all my XP in being a Funny Little Guy and left none for health (I'm not a gamer. I don't know why I tried that joke. The most experience I have with XP is learning Italian on Duolingo).

And I'll probably be taking a break for a few days more. Why?

Well, no, unfortunately, not love.

It's that stupid motherfucker, Tommy the Haematoma of my ankle.

But Asmi, you ask, didn't you fall down the stairs more than a month ago?

Why yes, yes I did. And out of that, two weeks were spent in bedrest/floorrest/whatever you call not being allowed to walk at all.

But thanks to the wonders of our Lord and Saviour Bildaddy, I am now resigned to two more weeks of bedrest.

WELL FUCK YOU TOO, BILDADDY. TO THINK I USED TO HAVE FAITH IN YOU.

But yes. A bloody fracture would have healed sooner than this. But no no no not Tommy and his buddies called weakened and swollen ligaments and heightened nerve sensation (not as catchy as Tommy, are they?) who are here to overstay their welcome like a couple of Indian aunties dropping in during festival time to gossip.

Now, I'm not someone who exercises, okay. Au contraire. I'm more sedentary than the coins that Crowley superglues to pavements.

But I did like being able to at least walk around my room to pick up my art supplies. Or go to the kitchen for a snack without maneuvering a cane (Kaz Brekker era coming up for realsies) (but less sexy and more legless chicken style). I also now can't really go outside unless I'm staying in the car. The car hurts, too. So I have only attempted that once. All hail.

So that is how I have come to be resigned to spending two more weeks (after already spending two) in bedrest and pain during the month before my birthday in the year 2024 of our Lord and Saviour Bastard and Damner Bildaddy.

It does tend to lower morale a bit. And I'm kind of active on the Discord server (I need to be, because otherwise my social interaction comes to a grand net total of 0) (just like the number of times Crowley and Aziraphale talked after Season 2) (ahaha sorry).

But being on Tumblr I feel like I should be making posts and I start getting stressy about notes even though I know I shouldn't. And thus my absence the past few days, and probably for a few days more.

C'est la vie. So it is farewell for now (I say dramatically about a few days break).

But don't worry my maggoty loves, I shall return with chaos. As usual. And I'll still be on Discord unless the pain gets really bad. I love love love love love you so much.

At the end of 2023 I wished so bad that I wouldn't be alone anymore and now I'm not. And so neither are any of you. Like that meme said, we're not a fandom, we're a deeply unwell family. Applies both to the Good Omens fandom and to my own. My fans are rather more incestuous, but that's part of our, er, charm.

Sending you all the hugs and forehead kisses and love that you're okay with. I'll see you soon.

Meanwhile, I want you to promise to cause chaos on my behalf. Keep the Good Omens tag trending. Make cursed headcanons. Try not to murder anyone. Byebye, my little maggoty fly larvae.

#good omens #good omens fandom #good omens mascot #weirdly specific but ok #asmi #maggots #crowley #bildaddy #the little fuck #life update #taking a break #fuck you tommy #i love you maggots #why? love. #neil gaiman

[lackadaisycats]

Hello!

First of all I wanted to say that your art is super gorgeous and I am super into your setting because ahm DUH cats + crimes are meant together

So I have several questions for you if you don't mind!

Out of all the platforms, how come you are still on tumblr? I am new here and as far as I can see usually major creators don't really use it anymore (and good gosh you are major for me <3)

Have you ever felt jealous of other creators? Do you think your work does not get attention it deserves? BECAUSE I CERTAINLY DO. I bet my friends are sick of me trying to promote your work :D

Have you ever had any fears regarding your art? Or in general?

Hey, thanks! 1. Hmm…good question. It's been, what? At least ten years since Tumblr was really in its zany, tumultuous, hormonal heyday. Then came the Great Annihilation and the Female-Presenting-Nipple Fallout. The ashes have settled and what remains is a, uh, mildly eccentric, post-apocalyptic ghost town? Like Mad Max, except everyone is wearing pastels, sipping tea and chuckling cryptically to themselves about something amusing while fussing with their herb garden. Or thereabouts. Maybe the chaos agents lost interest and everyone else who dwelled here grew up into rather chill adults. I don't know. Either way, I'm kind of liking its vibe lately? I use other social media too. As someone trying to earn a living as a freelance artist, I sort of have to. I'm on Twitter. I'm on Instagram. I'm on YouTube. I have the comic up on Webtoon. I've even got a TikTok for animated stuff. I feel way more at ease here, though. There's less pressure to perform, and to do it aggressively and relentlessly so as to appease a nebulous, uncaring demigod of an algorithm. And when you're doing that amidst a morass of other people, when everything you labor over is reduced to "content", it gets to feeling like you're just flailing futilely around in a stormy ocean. Tumblr doesn't feel like that. No one is vying for massive success on tumblr. From a functionality standpoint, for me, this is still the best place to post a bunch of large images all at once without having to fully reformat everything. And I can answer questions in whatever exceedingly verbose way my heart desires without hitting a character limit…

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2. Ah, well, thanks very much. I really appreciate the of word-of-mouth championship! Promotion coming from an authentic place is absolutely the most gratifying kind (as long as your friends aren't too annoyed with it). It's difficult to objectively measure something like deservedness, though. Sometimes I feel guilty for the amazing good fortune I've had to be able to pursue some of my dreams. Sometimes it's an emotional, physical and financial struggle that has me questioning my life choices and frustrated that the universe doesn't spend any effort trying to balance sweat and tears against reward. Simultaneously, I know many artists who haven't had any of the opportunities I have in spite of - in my estimation - deserving it as much or more than I do. In a more perfect world, things would just be better for creators on the whole. And, well, for most people in general. And yes, I have experienced envy with a bitter edge, mostly when I was a younger, immature artist. I think envy is a pretty natural human reaction - it can be an overall positive motivator to see what other artists have been able to achieve and to desire some of the same level of skill or success. It can also easily turn into resentment that unleashes a whole array of destructive thought patterns and behavior. As I've grown older, I've found fewer and fewer reasons to really feel envious of anyone, though. You come to realize success is a matter of perception, a fleeting feeling, a pyrrhic victory, a largely illusory thing, and that other artists are your allies more than they are your competition. You come to value the things that are the actual substance of your life - like treasured time doing your thing (and maybe even doing it with other artists you enjoy) - more than you value the phantom triumphs and validations you imagine others possess.

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3. Oh yes. Fear is all around. Where to even begin? Fear of disappointing people, fear of ultimately wasting the time of the other artists I'm working with, fear of doing some harm, fear of accidentally offending someone, fear of disproportionate reprisals for accidentally offending someone, fear of losing everything in some contract arrangement gone bad, fear of injury that stops me from being able to continue working, fear of falling short of what I wanted to do, fear of income sources going under, fear of present political situations escalating and upending everyone's lives so profoundly that art isn't even an option any longer….and many more! They're always stacked and looming. All I know is that, while it's good to let rational fears make you careful and aware and prepared, you can't let them stop you.

[brainrotallthewaydown1312]

I've been seeing a lot going around about the James Somerton thing, and i have a lot of my own... complicated feelings, but i want to throw my two cents at the conversation I'm seeing. I'm putting it under a cut because 1) this is longer than I meant it to be and 2) I don't like drama and this is about as close to drama posting I'll (hopefully) ever get.

I'm going to say up front, i never watched his stuff. video essays, especially about queer history and media representation, are my bread and butter. i listen to them actively all the time, but i put them on to do chores, or art, or go to sleep pretty much every day. but I never got into James Somerton. I've heard of him and seen his videos come up in my searches and recommend. and he's come on autoplay a few times. I've always skipped him though. I narrowly avoided the hole of misinformation I see so many of you crawling out of right now. and there is a part of me that wants to puff up my chest and gloat and do the "I knew all along" dance that so many people my age do with situations like this.

but first of all, that would be a lie. yes, I did avoid his videos, but he isn't the only essayist that has just not passed my personal vibe check. it would be satisfying to be able to say shit like 'i noticed his lies/theft long ago' or 'i just had a gut feeling' 'he seemed like a hack' but that just isn't it. I never gave him enough attention for any of that to be true because I just didn't vibe with him. maybe it was his delivery or his voice or the production of it, I don't know. but he is far from the only one who makes content in that category who I skip over for failed vibe checks. and while some of them might have something going on, I'm sure some of them are lovely intelligent people with their own insights who are 'unproblematic' to whatever definition we're supposed to be using. and I'm not ever going to be the one to figure out which is which on that list, because just like James I am not giving them the chance for me to figure it out. not vibing with everyone is a natural thing. and there doesn't always have to be some big reason or gut feeling behind it.

if I had paid him any attention, I also like to think I would have noticed some of the plagiarism. especially the Alex Avila videos he ripped because I've been watching Alex for years and I've seen all his videos but specifically the Merlin one many many times, and it was so deeply transparent in its theft. but I'll never know if I actually would have because if you're not looking for it, even when it's familiar, it isn't always easy to click together why that is. and while I do do due diligence on things before I repeat them or if I plan to use it for research, I'm not sitting and fact checking and source checking when I listen to essays before bed or if I'm crocheting on my couch. it's an easy trap to fall into. I know first hand because I used to watch iilluminatii.

I haven't watched her in a few months, and while I'd like to chalk that up to having spotted the plagiarism, it was when all that interchannel drama hit. I tried to do my normal due diligence. I looked into it to see who seemed to be in the wrong with it. I have a low tolerance for that shit, so it was very tiring and I admittedly didn't do as much as I should have. and some people during that did point out the plagiarism, but they came at it in a way that it didn't seem genuine and it felt like an exaggeration of their distaste for her. it was all said in that condescending 'i already didn't like her and you're dumb for not seeing the problem' voice. partly because I was already fatigued on the drama and partly because I had been watching for so long and she does talk about her sources below, I didn't look into it. that was around when I stopped, and when I did it was more from fatigue on trying to sort the drama and the allegations and all of that out. I just wanted a rest from it. so I just gave up. and I had been a little disillusioned by that but a part of me was still hit by seeing how egregious it was in hbomb's video. because how had I not noticed that?

which brings me back to James. even if I had 'just known,' or been a fan who was already disillusioned, or I had caught the plagiarism, none of that would be a constructive addition to the conversation everyone is having right now. I know that. I've seen it over and over again with various cancellations. and I am just now processing how it effected my ability to follow up on the iilluminatii allegations months ago. I had no excuse to be finding out about that with everyone else, I was recently researching that actively. but I was getting so tripped up in the hipster zoomer discourse that I wasn't able to actually do the research objectively and I just gave up. and I know I am far from the only one to experience this. turning a genuine problem like this into an interpersonal drama issue and gloating about how soon you noticed or how obvious it is or any of that devalues the entire conversation. it drives people away from the discussion and makes them feel worse than they need to.

there are big waves right now. people talking about plagiarism and how to find it. what the penalty should be. how to more accurately define it. there are people grieving the loss of a parasocial support they had. people making recommendations for replacements. people looking for those recommendations. people afraid to because they don't want to be tricked again. these are all important conversations, and many of them are difficult. but there are also people gloating about noticing it sooner. or not having watched him. or having eagle eyes for plagiarism. or whatever else. and that doesn't help anyone. like I said. I get the temptation. it feels good to squeak by without getting hit when someone like this does something big and bad. and it feels good to be ahead of the curve. but it doesn't help the people who are hurting. the people he stole from and the people he lied to are already processing that. they don't need to be talked down to. and it doesn't help the wider conversation that people are having about plagiarism. that conversation is moving forward and you are stuck arguing about what you knew when.

I guess my main point is this: it's a shitty situation all around. it has left so many victims in its wake. most obviously and directly the people he stole from, but also the people who trusted him who he lied to, and the people who his misinformation will affect even if they never heard of him. and there are a lot of people processing and hurting right now. and there are a lot of conversations happening about how this coming to light can help prevent it from continuing to happen at scales like this. and conversations about people making similar stuff themselves that is properly researched where any incorrect information is accidental and likely to be corrected. and if you have to weigh in to those, do so constructively. say what you need to about what he did or about what is being said, but don't turn it into a sleuthing competition or a party trick that you figured it out first. don't post about how heavy handed and egregious it was and how everyone had to have noticed. don't guilt and shame the people who are processing. find something positive to say. find something comforting to say. the situation is shitty enough without unnecessary negativity clogging everything up

#james somerton #hbomberguy #plagiarism #iiluminaughtii

[bluegekk0]

I'm assuming based on your last post you are in college so I have 2 questions, one based on your personal life and one based on the AU. You don't have to answer the personal one.

What's your major and or minor? I would think it may be art related, but idk.

Based on a modern AU, if the Pale Household were to go to college, what would they study?

yes, i study at a university. and no, surprisingly is not art related, i'm completely self taught in that area. instead i study the english language. i think there's some debate as to how you would translate my major from polish into english, some say english philology, others english studies. but basically it's english linguistics, literature and culture, with a specific specialization in translation. already finished the bachelor degree in the same major, now i'm in my last year of master's

as for the modern au, hmm. i guess i'll start with those i've already thought about. also the difference between college and university is still a little confusing to me, i'm more used to the term university so if you see me use it, that's why

i know holly would be an art student, they already have an interest in drawing in the main au, so it seems like the most reasonable direction. during the modern au, they primarily focus on their degree, though i like to think they also do art commissions in their free time. i think they would lean more towards traditional art, they' would'd find the actual process of using canvases, paint brushes and other tools very relaxing, even if it's messy and time consuming

then there's grimm. i love the idea of him having a career in filmmaking. in the modern au he works in the film industry as a director (with divine and brumm as members of his film crew), so it's a reasonable assumption that he has a degree in that field. as for what kinds of films he'd make, i imagine he'd dabble in many genres but lean more towards drama or horror. that being said, i could also see him having some experience in theatre, perhaps he used to be an actor? i could absolutely see that, especially if i don't change their ages for the modern au and he remains as a vampire with hundreds of years behind him haha

fpk in the modern au works from home, i like to think that similarly to his main au self, he'd have a small business he operates from his house. since he has an interest in mechanical engineering in the au, my first idea was that he'd offer watch repairs, but depending on how "modern" the modern au is, that might not be the most lucrative business. though i do have a lot of nostalgia for early 2000s and i imagine that's the time frame in which the modern au takes place, so who knows. but another idea i had was that he'd instead go in an electronics repair direction. maybe something like computer repair? i love the mental image of him sitting in his office, hard at work, surrounded by a bunch of broken computers, laptops and game consoles, like a whole electronic maze on the floor. and to answer the question, he'd probably study something related to IT and/or electronic engineering. but i could also see him being mostly self-taught

now comes the part where i make things up on the spot since i haven't decided on anything for them yet

with hornet, all i know is that whatever she'd major in, she would be a member of her college/university's sports club (maybe she'd like football? or soccer depending where you're from). but she does have an interest in literature, so perhaps she would go for a degree related to that? i think the contrast between studying something seen as sophisticated and cultured, and then getting into fights with tiso at the sports club, is very fitting for her hahah

and then there's zote. i'm not really sure if he'd study anything, but perhaps he would opt for something related to music? i mentioned in a previous ask that i like the idea of him finding interest in playing a trumpet, so maybe he would want to expand his knowledge. though it's zote, i could also see him being so convinced of his skills that he'd claim that there's nothing for him to find there. maybe he doesn't study anything, maybe he's stuck in a fast food job or something. it could go either way

lastly, there's lewk. but he would be kindergarten age in the modern au. though he is interested in cooking and food in general, so perhaps in the future he'd aim for something like culinary arts? it's difficult to say, he's still very young so things may change

#ask stuff #feral pk au #modern fpk au

[rainydetectiveglitter]

I wish I could be as sexually liberated as some people out there. I've been sexualized since I was 5, by family, neighbors, and teachers. I can't bring myself to do it... I feel like whatever innocence I had was taken from me a long time ago. My art often features nude women; I see the female body as an art form. However, posting pictures of myself in a swimsuit is where I draw the line. I can't do it, even though I know it might boost my online reputation. I can't recall a time when I could. Though I admit I'm envious of those who can – yes, I said it.

Oh, I was thinking about this the other day. I've stopped wearing a full face makeup for some time now. Occasionally, I'll wear subtle lipstick color, mascara, or eyeliner maybe 1-2 times a month. When I used to wear makeup, there was a time when I wouldn't leave my house without it. The cannon event for me was when I started working in a couple of male-dominated environment, and back-to-back incidents left me utterly disgusted by how I was treated and how some men looked at me – even those with wives and children. It was revolting. I had to take a few trips to HR, but there was no resolution since they were all buddies.

Interestingly, it was only when I didn't wear makeup that I wasn't objectified. That's when I was treated with respect. However, on those occasions, the men would often ask, 'Are you sick?' or 'Did your boyfriend break up with you? So, I said fuck you. This is my face and you're gonna accept it as it is.

Outside of work, I just couldn't bear the unwanted attention any longer. Men seem to think that just because you dress up and put on some simple makeup, they can say the most vulgar things to you (not all men) I haven't worn makeup like that in about 6 years. I'm not that old, guys! 😭

I told myself the man I will marry would never see me with makeup he will love me with or without. After that I met my hunk of monk, 6 years strong. Oh and I got gross I stopped shaving and went feral. I wanted to repel men. And it worked 😂

These are my experiences, and I understand the qualities and healing power of makeup. To each their own. ❤️‍🔥 I want to emphasis not all men. But, you'd be amazed how often men comment on female bodies inside of work environments.

#makeup is a cult #makeup #nomakeupnovember #rants #dont come at me

[canyoufucksoniccharacters]

CAN YOU FUCK CHAOS?

... Y'know, the Sonic character. Not the abstract concept. You can't fuck concepts, last I checked. Might be wrong, though.

WARNING: SONIC FRONTIERS SPOILERS. Yes, the game's been out for a bit, but some people haven't played it yet, so be warned- it'll be cited often in this post, as it had some enormous lore drops related to Chaos, the Chao, and the Chaos Emeralds.

Strap in, this is a long one. At least, a bit longer than the usual post.

I would start with age, but that's kind of stupid. We know how long Chaos has been around, we know it's immortal, and we know it's pretty much a deity. Hell, Sonic Channel didn't even try listing an age, it was just listed as ''Unknown" while it was listed. Chronologically speaking, it's been around for over 3000 years. It's also not really been dormant dormant by any means, sure it's spent most of its life sealed inside the Master Emerald, but still seems to be able to come out of the emerald when needed or desired- such as during the events of Sonic Battle, where it came out of the emerald seemingly with the sole purpose of meeting Emerl and requesting a battle with him (At least, it can be interpreted as such, since you get the option to battle or not battle Chaos when you encounter it ingame).

On top of that, it's been implied that it protects the Chao from within the emerald one way or another, so it's about as old as the chronology would imply- although it likely can't physically age, considering the way the Chao life cycle works. If it did age, it would either be a really, really slow aging process, or it would have reincarnated by now, as Chao do once they're old enough. It isn't stated whether it was an adult or a child when it "mutated", but it's never been implied that it was a child, and considering the role of protector it assumes over the Chao of Angel Island, it's likely not a child.

You might say, though- it's still a mutated Chao! Chao are either weird sorta perma-babies, animals, or both, and they probably shouldn't be fucked. And I would maybe agree with you, before Sonic Frontiers came out, buuuut...

Yeah, these guys.

The Chao, as implied by Eggman in Egg Memo 11, are the remnants of the Ancients, after some kind of radiation corroded their DNA for countless years to the point where they turned into what we now know them as. Chaos' mutation seems to be less so a Chao becoming bigger and more powerful, and moreso the remaining DNA of the Ancients being brought back to the forefront and slightly regaining its form, seemingly more in the image of the anthropomorphic animals that now inhabit the world. Even the visible brain was there from the start- although it's hard to see on the adults, likely due to the amount of blur and sepia tone used for the flashbacks of the Ancients. The children have them pretty visible, though! Likely due to background color, amount of blur, etc.

This may seem like a red flag when it comes to Chaos, since the brain is always plainly easily visible, but it's clearly not an intended key feature or anything of the sort, and most likely just a result of the game's artstyle, as the concept art doesn't have the brain visible on any of the different Ancient types.

Interestingly, Chaos doesn't really seem to match any of these one to one- the visual similarity is obvious, and they're confirmed to be related genetically speaking, but Chaos has no pointed shapes on its hips to differentiate gender, and additionally has 2 small tendrils on the sides of its head that resemble the ones on the elders, but are far shorter than what is shown ingame and in the image; and on top of that, it has a short tail, for whatever reason.

Gender-related side tangent aside (it probably has no gender anyways, and it's all the better for it), clearly Chaos shows all the physical maturity needed, but...

Can it consent? Should you fuck Chaos? Is it ethical?

We're not exactly able to resort to our usual methods here, so let's pull out an ancient internet artifact- one that has been referenced and cited plenty of times, and is generally considered to be a good guide as to whether or not you should fuck a fictional being.

Ladies, gentlemen, those in between, and all those not entirely convinced of the societal construct that is the gender binary, I present to you;

The Harkness Test.

Now, aside from the fact that this image is visibly and verifiably old enough that smelling it would probably direct about 500 grams of dust straight into your lungs, it's generally a good guideline without any real holes in it. So, let's go by the boxes one by one- in reverse order, that is. Because it works better for the format.

Is it of sexual maturity for its species?

Although it likely can't reproduce- yes. I mean, this should be obvious by now; there is absolutely no implication that it was a child at the time of its mutation, and it very clearly resembles adult Ancients, as opposed to the children, which lack the long tendrils on both the adult Ancients and Chaos's heads. So, by all accounts, despite its ageless status, it's clearly of sexual maturity for both of the species that could be referenced for it.

Check.

Can it talk or otherwise communicate with language?

Chaos can't talk. Obviously. The Ancients somehow could, despite not having a mouth or lungs or vocal chords or anything of the sort, much like Chaos itself. BUUUUUUT-

This moment from Knuckles' story in Sonic Adventure implies that Tikal is able to communicate directly with Chaos, meaning that on some level, it can communicate and understand language- further reinforced by a later cutscene in the final story, where Tikal talks to Chaos to calm its anger, explaining that the fighting that angered Chaos in the first place is long over, and that the Chao it protected are alive and well, living in peace alongside people.

So, clearly, it can understand words, and it can communicate with some people, so best case scenario you can find a way to directly communicate with Chaos verbally, and worst case scenario you can get Tikal (or uh. her ghost?) to translate for you, although that might be a bit awkward considering it's unlikely that Tikal was an adult when she died, but it's really your only option. She probably knows what sex is anyways, she can be a mediator, doesn't need to get involved past that. Yes this is a very silly hypothetical scenario, but hey, it's there and it could help you out if you wanna fuck this thing.

Check.

Does it have human intelligence (or greater)?

This one is... Complicated. Again, Chaos can't speak directly, and the aforementioned line is all we have to go off of- and it's unclear whether what Tikal said is Chaos's exact wording, or what she gleamed from communicating with it somehow. On top of that, Chaos is strung along quite easily by Eggman; though Eggman loses control of Chaos entirely once it acquires the 7 chaos emeralds, so this could be interpreted as Chaos going along with the plan with full intent to stab Eggman in the back once it has all the power it needs to let out the anger that it's been building for so many years.

So, SA1 doesn't give us too much on this end. In Sonic Battle, though, it's shown fighting with a decent degree of technique, using its stretching properties for some tricky maneuvers, as well as poking its limbs out of the ground. It's definitely a capable fighter, and while it's not a martial artist by any means, there is a degree of technique to what it does, which would make sense considering the Ancients had dedicated warriors which likely had fighting prowess outside of just using mechs.

That's really all we have on that end as far as games go, since the Chaos in Sonic Forces isn't exactly real, and brain size isn't that good of a frame of reference either since the brains of the adult ancients are quite hard to see and blurry- although the size does mostly seem to match up, adjusting for how small the Ancients' heads look compared to Chaos's.

Our only guide from this point on is Sonic Channel artwork, which is non-canon but should still provide a decent enough guideline.

One of these is obviously much more serious than the other- although they both look really nice. The way Chaos is shown kneeling on the left image implies a capability for body language similar to that of people, although the purpose of the pose is quite ambiguous- it could either be accompanying Tikal in whatever ritual is being performed, or be trying to mimic her position, similar to that of a prayer, in a sort of "Monkey see, monkey do" manner.

The right one is obviously completely impossible (I don't think the ancient echidnas knew how to make pizza, let alone make entire diners- although their food probably slapped. Probably.) and is mostly just there to look cute, but it still does show Chaos doing something that requires a large amount of technique. It's cooking! And it seems very good at it, judging by the pizza Tikal is holding. I'd try one, it looks really good! ... Shit, now I'm hungry. Anyways.

These images, although non-canon, do depict Chaos with a level of intelligence similar to that of humans, one more than the other- although it has full freedom to, considering it's the sillier and clearly more for-fun of the two, no matter how hard it's rocking that little chef's outfit. It seems more or less in line with its behavior in the flashbacks and Sonic Battle, with a few creative liberties.

So while it can't talk, it seems to be about even with humans. Think something like Gardevoir and Gallade from Pokemon.

Check.

So, to recap; Is it of sexual maturity for its species? ✅ Can it talk or otherwise communicate with language? ✅ (Though you may need some assistance, ideally from Tikal.) Does it have human intelligence (or greater)? ✅

Chaos passes the Harkness Test.

So, with all this taken into account, we can come to a verdict. I would normally write a conclusion, but this post is long enough as is. And so, the verdict is...

You can, with some effort and maybe a bit of help, fuck Chaos.

I know a lot of you are gonna be very, very happy about this one. Go ham.

#chaos 0 #sonic the hedgehog #sth #status: fuckable

[betasuppe]

Hi, I often see your posts where you express the urge to delete your works off the internet. I really like your style, it is very clean and recognizable (although it's not the point of this ask). I'd like to share a situation that happened to me several days ago. I have some fandom works on the web, which are around ten years old, some older and some newer (they are, admittedly, very low quality, I abstain from reading them because of cringe). There is a counter on the site, it shows daily views. I used to check it maniacally back than, so much it is still in my top viewed sites. So when I was feeling bad - when I AM feeling bad, I usually check this counter. And you know what? Even after 10 years. Even in a fandom that is wayyyyy less active than before. I get 1-2 views a day. Sometimes someone comes and binges half of my works, even, leaving thumbs ups in their wake. That is to say. There are always cake lovers in the internet (there are also cake haters, but we don't have a negative like button do we?) So even the works you consider cringe may find their audience, in several years EASILY (but probably even less). Yes, some of the things are history, but it is always a pleasure to receive a like or a comment, even on older works. Maybe if you think your art gets less recognition than it deserves, you may switch social media platforms and have them up on a more specialized site or archive (although I currently don't know any better platform for that than tumblr). To sum it all up, give your art a little time and it will certainly find its lover. You may derive some pleasurable emotions from that as well. You are cool, keep it up 👍

Hey thanks so much♡ I truly appreciate your kindness & suggestion here as well.

I don't think I can find a decent way to rationalize my thought process [beyond: depressed with having impossibly high standards at all times ha ha] but it's like.

When I get realization how god awful or disappointing a drawing is, it's as tho I haven't registered anything beyond that it needs to be destroyed. It's like a sickness & shame & disgust I can't explain, but can only be relieved by destroying whatever I've just created.

I wish I could make sense of it. I wish I could think further in the long term besides "god, this drawing sucks, I need to obliterate it so it's like it never existed in the first place" but.

When you are unwillingly consumed by your own insurmountable flaws, it's impossible to argue with & destruction is the only path at hand.

& sure, someone somewhere down the line might see one of my drawings later & love it, but the desperate need to be invisible & just vanish in shame of myself is. A lot.

#asks #sorry if i sound like a fucking downer but #i cant seem to stop myself from going delete crazy #its like the only thing that scratches the itch in needing to hide away & fucking vanish #& truthfully i dont want to be famous or popular #i truly dont care but #i just would appreciate some kind words & support & when its hard to get anything like that #id rather just kill the offending piece & keep it offline where the only fool who ever saw it #ie: me #already hates it & wont make it anu worse i guess #i dunno #sorry if this rambling makes no sense #im just #barely adequate at drawing & need to stop pretending it matters

[etes-secrecy-post]

Hi, before I explain my post, I want to say something important.

• What you see my blog has become a major overhaul. And despite the changes, I decided that my 2nd account will be now my artwork blog with a secret twist.

⚠️NEW RULE! (W/ BIGGER TEXT!)⚠️

⚠️ SO PLEASE DO NOT SHARE MY 2nd ACCOUNT TO EVERYONE! THIS SECRECY BLOG OF MINE IS FOR CLOSES FRIENDS ONLY!⚠️

• AND FOR MY CLOSES FRIENDS, DON’T REBLOG IT. INSTEAD, JUST COPY MY LINK AND PASTE IT ON YOUR TUMBLR POST! JUST BE SURE THE IMAGE WILL BE REMOVED AND THE ONLY LEFT WAS THE TEXT.

⚠️ SHARING LINKS, LIKE POSTS, REBLOG POSTS, STEALING MY SNAPSHOT PHOTOS/RECORDED VIDEOS/ARTWORKS (a.k.a. ART THIEVES) OR PLAGIARIZING FROM UNKNOWN TUMBLR STRANGERS WILL IMMEDIATELY BE BLOCKED, RIGHT AWAY!⚠️

😡 WHATEVER YOU DO, DO NOT EVER LIKED & REBLOG MY SECRET POST! THIS IS FOR MY SECRET FRIENDS ONLY, NOT YOU! 😡

Okay? Capiche? Make sense? Good, now back to the post…↓

#OnThisDay: Apr 7th, 2019

Title: Gundam BEYOND - Murumo and Pocoyo

The year from April 7th, 1979 to this same date of 2019, and now 2024 (as 45th year). It's the celebration of our beloved and one of the most iconic mecha robots in the anime universe! Yes! I bet you know some of you G-Fanatics that "Mobile Suit Gundam" becomes 'BEYOND' 40th Anniversary! 🤖😁

So in order to do so, I would like to make 4 artworks based on the 'Gundam Beyond' wallpapers from the "Gundam info" website. You can go check it out to see all four wallpapers, it's awesome: [CLICK ME!]

Now with being said and like-wised, I made this artwork inspired from the 1st photo I saw; When Amuro on the RX-78-2 Gundam and Banagher on the RX-0 Unicorn Gundam finally met in the same Universal Century. (Yeah rumor / official say that Amuro died in the events of Char's Counterattack, but let's not argue or split hairs...) And like I said, I drew RX-78-2 Murumo 🥁⭐ and Unicorn Pocoyo 🔵👶 with the T-Shaped Psychoframe 🟢✨ in the middle and glowing light green lines and sparkles around them.

Well that's much about it, I'll make 3 more inspiring artworks from the 'Gundam Beyond' this month of April before it ends.

BTW: I haven't drew Murumo (my favorite character in Mirmo!) in a while since.

Nevertheless, Happy 40th Anniversary Gundam! No, make it Happy "45th Anniversary" Gundam! 🤖🥳🎊

Murumo - Mirmo! © Hiromu Shinozuka, Sho-Pro, TV Tokyo Pocoyo - POCOYO © Zinkia Entertainment Armors (Mobile Suit Gundam [0079] and Mobile Suit Gundam Unicorm) - Gundam Series © Bandai Namco Filmworks, Inc. (SUNRISE), Sotsu

[ravnloft]

writer interview

tagged @bardic-inspo (*´▽`*) thank u my friend these are so fun

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

3 lol. eventually i'll post more. probably. maybe

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

100,989 (not counting the original "draft" of wicked turns because a lot of that got reused in the current version)

3. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

girl (gender neutral) i don't even have 5 fics total... top kudos though is wicked turns :')

4. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

yes!!!! comments are so nice and they let me know i am not posting into a void and that other people are actually interested in what i'm writing!!!! if you have ever left a comment on anything i wrote you have such a special place in my heart and you make me so happy!!!!!!!

5. What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

haven't finished it yet but it's going to be drowning lessons :)

6. What’s the fic you’ve written with the happiest ending?

also have not finished it but everyone in how to win friends will come out SO happy and well-adjusted. it's at a good little stopping point for now and i might skip into act 2 for the next chapter/s... idk it doesn't really have a plot it's just me giving myself like. writer aftercare from the stuff in drowning lessons or wicked turns fjgdfjjfdgj

7. Do you write crossovers?

not anymore but if you know the ancient piri lore of when i did tumblr rp......... the harley quinn/norman bates "it started out as a joke and now we're really invested" ship still makes me go insane from time to time...... i have a type and it is unhinged men who fall for somehow even more unhinged women

8. Have you ever received hate on a fic?

nah

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

yes. the kind where i get wine drunk or have an edible and then scream into my hands after typing each word because i hate writing smut but damn if it ain't relevant to the storyline

10. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

no but i HAVE had my peebles art stolen/reposted on at least one site

11. Have you ever had a fic translated?

nope

12. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

if you count tumblr rp as co-writing fic, then yes

13. What’s your all-time favorite ship?

ough. waugh. how can i choose between my beautiful children

14. What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

yeah so i have. the loose outline of a peebs fic. and it has been rolling around in my brain for years and years and years. but in order to truly do it justice i feel like it would be a full-on multi-issue comic series and the last time i tried making a graphic novel-style work (shoutout to princess huntress, your worldbuilding lives on but i'll never finish you) i got maybe 8/100+ pages done and then spiraled into art burnout for like 4 years

15. What are your writing strengths?

i like to think i am good at writing horror and gore teehee <3

16. What are your writing weaknesses?

sex scenes...... i don't like writing it, i don't like publishing it, i am ehhhh about reading it, but again, damn if it ain't relevant to the storyline

17. What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

don't trust google translate. just use <> or whatever if you don't know the language.

18. What was the first fandom you wrote for?

batman (stares wistfully out the window for 10 hours)

19. What’s a fandom/ship you haven’t written for yet but want to?

i REALLY want to write a skyrim long-ish fic. i have so many thoughts on it. there would be two LDBs (amma and sigg). both of them are cursed by daedra but in wildly different directions

20. What’s your favorite fic you’ve written?

wicked turns :)

#piri.txt

[sophiemorningstar]

Yay, an introduction for this account. It's been 2 years, and I still haven't made an intro of this baby, so.. Im gonna do it right now!

Hi! I'm Sophia, so this account is supposed to be an online sketchbook of mine, posting doodles, y'know, but I guess I should use this account for many more things I've been planning ahead. 👏 So, here's a list of interests.

• Any disney channel show ( like amphibia, owl house, etc. )

• FNAF

• Bob's burgers

• Doors ( Ohohoho! You guys are gonna see a lot of this. 👁 )

• Murder drones 🔪

Yeah, I still have a whole lot more, but this list is supposed to be the latest interest I have, anyway. I make art as you guys can tell right now, but I'm also practicing writing as a hobby, so I'll be thankful for tips, recommendations, and books, too, since I like reading.

Oh! yeah, now to the account. This account is gonna be everything: blogs, fan fiction, art, ships, you name it.

Here's some rules I thought to interact with this account

Interact

✅️You can request me whatever you want. (( but not too much okay. ))

✅️Of course we can art trade.

✅️Yes, you can draw my OCs.

✅️you can interact with this account whatever.

Now, on with the DNI list.

Do not interact.

🚫 Don't request me anything creepy. ( No ya damn pedo. I ain't drawing your 1,000 year old anime girl who looks like a child. )

🚫 Proshippers are not allowed to interact with this account. I will block every single one of you who dares to lay one finger of this account.

🚫 Racist, Homophobic, whatever people are not allowed to interact with either. I don't want to see your punk ass going around hurting people even though they're just minding their own business. My account is a safe place for others who want to express themselves.

🚫 Zoophiles, pedophiles....Hello? 911?

🚫 I ain't drawing nsfw.

If you guys ask. I'll answer it right away.

• What program and device do you use for digital art?

A Samsung tablet and the programs I use are ibispaint and medibang paint.

• Do you do commissions?

I wish. But nope, I don't know how to use PayPal or any of those programs that you guys use during commissions.

Right, here's the rules. And bye!

#introduction #presentation #Yeah i may have to edit that later but whatever

[helloliriels]

ayyyy for the ✨writers wrapped✨ ( i am SO in love with this idea!)

2, 3, 13, 30! (do any, all or none whatever vibes with you *~*)

i hope you are well and also know that you are so loved and appreciated *throws badly cut out paper hearts at you*

🤗🍪🎄💝

Isn't this fun?! Thank you for the asks!

#2 -🤗 How many works did you publish this year?

Not as much as I thought I would get to: 30 written works (mostly ficlets) but started some I'm really invested in, like 'What If I'm Not?' and some that aren't even posted yet; 💕and then there were the 125+ I did for the Fake Fic Titles ask game, which kinda count? So 156 or so written works; 25 photoshop edits (between crack fic campaign posters and rock out album covers); with only 5 or 6 art works this year. *whew* (had to update the spreadsheet)

I guess when I say it out loud ... it's a lot??

Still want the rest? haha

#3 -🍪Work I'm most proud of this year?

Hmmm ... I would have to say 'What If I'm Not?' which I am currently co-writing with @fluffbyday-smutbynight. It's been a lot of firsts for me. Stepping out of my comfort zone to share a few headcanons that may not be popular. Writing what isn't easy to say ... and getting to collab with someone I am so lucky to have met! The fic wouldn't have gone past chapter one without her.

#13 -🎄(stop me anytime) What is your longest work this year?

Bahaha! I think '(Not So) Fake Fic Titles' has to take the crown here. It's longer than anything I've written, combined: 35,551 words. Jeez!

But for srs, the longest work that I self-wrote this year, would be Spin the Bottle at 8,120 words, which is not yet done (imo). There will be a mature chapter as soon as I get the wording right! 💕

#30 - 💝Biggest surprise while writing this year?

I'm tempted to take this as 'the twist or idea I did not see coming' ... But I think what it's asking is: did I have a revelation about my writing this year? and yes ...

I realised that I like to write EMOTIONS. Not actions.

I'm horribly bad with having to describe what anyone is actually DOING. Hence, it is difficult to bring myself to write the 4th-5th act of any fic. (Ending? Wut are those?)

😂😅 So yeah ... maybe I haven't found the right vehicle yet? or perspective. But this is what I will be working on for 2023.

Thanks for the asks!!! xoxo - Liri

AO3 WRAPPED (Writer Asks)

#writer asks #writers wrapped #2022 #liri answers #inbox OPEN

[jammie3132]

Sir Knight and Prince Charming, Ch. 3

So...I haven't posted here in a while (DUH) and it looks like a lot of things have changed. Since I'm pretty confused, I'm just going to post this here like this. What I am going to do is put the link to AO3 ( at the bottom) because I don't remember if I posted the first 2 chapters. My timeline is all whackadoodle and I'm going to need more time (and a lot of wine) to go through that mess. Wish me luck!

THURSDAY…EXACTLY 2 WEEKS LATER

Santana stared at the 3x5 cards on the push-pin board in her office, uncertain of what to do with this new clue.

**June Dolloway cancels B’s Showcase & Met Gala**

Granted, it couldn’t be helped. Her sister-in-law broke her hip and she was going to France to take care of her. But, since June and her bad directions/wrong number brought Sir Knight into the picture in the first place, anything June related had to be included on the Blaine Board.

But where?

Trouty was in Kentucky for the twins’ birthday which meant it fell on her shoulders to get some answers. Seriously, it did, and this time it wasn’t for fun like when she figured out Berry’s sleazy ex was a gigolo. Ok, yes, she originally thought drug dealer but tomato-tomato. What bugged her was it only took 3 hours to solve that mystery and 2 weeks later she was no closer to figuring out what caused the change in Blaine.

He hadn’t left the basement in over a week. In one way this was completely understandable. Afterall, the place was called Blaineland.

None of them (even those who lived there) had ever been in the basement. Mercedes constantly reminded the group the record label declared it off limits and she wasn’t going to piss them off. Then the Andersons bought the brownstone and wanted some pictures of the furnace.

Everyone was stunned by what they discovered but Blaine fell to his knees and sobbed like a baby. The whole thing was a state-of-the-art recording studio with a baby grand piano and 2 lounges, one being a home theater and concession stand with a movie theater popcorn machine!!!

This was all amazing but not leaving the basement included Blaine’s classes at NYADA. Yes, he arranged excused absences for earlier in the week because he didn’t know what his state of mind would be with Tuesday being the one-year anniversary of the shooting at McKinley.

You say school shooting and people are a bit more understanding.

Today was Thursday…no classes but he flat-out stated he wasn’t going to his Song Writing Workshop tomorrow.

Damn it! She’d fallen down a rabbit hole yet again. Stay focused, Lopez! Back to the beginning, or what Blond Chameleon (dork!) believed was the beginning.

**Sir Knight=Sebastian Smythe?**

This never felt quite right. Don’t get her wrong, her psychic Mexican-third eye was screaming the SOB was somehow involved.

The only thing she couldn’t get past was Blaine’s insistence his Knight in Shining Armor couldn’t possibly be Slushie Smurf. There’s a sadness behind the denials. A sadness Blaine’s expressive eyes couldn’t hide, at least to her. How come she seemed to be the only one who saw it?

Wasn’t Blaine supposed to be the oblivious one, not his best friend and boyfriend?

Hummel kept insisting whatever was happening was no big deal. The day after the Thursday from Hell, Blaine met with his song writing professor and it didn’t go well. In fact, it went so badly the professor told him if he didn’t fix his assignment by the due date, she’d have no other choice but to fail him.

**Song Writing Fail**

She pulled off the card and moved it to align with the Sir Knight card. This made more sense to why Blaine practically moved into a music studio.

Well, that and the fact his old room was now her office/temporary bedroom and his new room was part of the remodel.

But the meeting with the professor happened on Friday which meant it couldn’t be the catalyst for Blaine’s change. Too much crap happened the day before, especially some events she believed hadn’t been given enough attention due to their (*cough* Sam’s) Sir Knight focus.

**Kurt’s temper tantrum saying Blaine was responsible for his getting kicked off the photoshoot**

**Kurt talks to Chinese Food delivery guy, has a complete 180 attitude change and apologizes for earlier behavior**

**Kurt never explains what happened at Vogue or what caused the attitude change**

Rachel (accidently) mentioned something about Kurt having to sign a big NDA agreement for the photoshoot but, of course, didn’t know details. Did everyone at Vogue have to sign an NDA? If so, there was no way to get information there. But what about the delivery guy? What did he say to flip Hummel? Should she go try to talk to him?

Should she add all this to the board?

She was still deciding when her phone rang. Looking at the clock, she remembered Pamela had scheduled a call at this time. But from the ringtone alert it wasn’t her but her husband.

That’s weird

“Hello, Mr. Anderson.”

“Good morning, Santana. How are you?”

“Um, a little confused. I was expecting Pamela so we could finalize the schedule for tomorrow’s demolition and the start of the remodel on Monday.”

The Andersons hired her (temporarily) to handle Pamela’s ridiculous (and constantly growing) To Do List. Blaine and Sam had too much on their plates, especially when it was announced Sam had won the role of Mike in the Magic Mike Musical.

She still couldn’t believe she caught Rachel’s reaction to the news. It was even better when Artie put the video on a loop (with cut ins of Sam doing his body rolls) and set it to music…Pony, of course.

Anyway, one day after she went (verbally) Lima Heights on one of the contractors (who Blam believed was mobbed up) the temporary title went away. Now she’s the Andersons’ personal assistant/house manager and unofficial Blam babysitter.

It was the best job she’d ever had and not just because she’d been fired by both Yeast-I-Stat and the diner (long story). Charles calling had her worried. He must have picked that up from her tone. “Santana, everything’s fine. Plans changed and Pammy left for LA this morning to see Cooper. You’re doing a great job. Better than we dared to hope.”

“Thank you, Sir.” Wait… “When you say plans changed, does that mean the record label got the judge to void the sale of the brownstone?”

His laughter made it clear that wasn’t the case.

“Nope. Like I said all along, it’s not mine and Pammy’s fault the producer who was supposed to live there funneled 3 million dollars from the company to build a studio and no one noticed. And even though the paperwork isn’t completely finalized, enough of it has been. It also helped we purchased the place in cash, as is, expedited closing at the label’s insistence.”

“As is being the important part. Right?”

“Smart girl but the label being the party to insist on the fast closing didn’t hurt. The judge did admit my getting the contracts pushed through in less than 24 hours tied his hands. It usually takes around 30 days to close on a property.”

“Not your fault you’re good at your job…whatever it is. It was fun watching the people from the label heads explode when they realized how badly they screwed up. But, Mr. Anderson, you haven’t said what the change of plans are?”

“Turns out you are not the only one who believes I’m good at what I do. The parent company of the record label offered me a job running the non-talent portion of the label. You know, the boring stuff. I’m flying into NYC in the morning to listen to what they have to say. Since today is Thursday, can you tell Blaine I’m coming? Sam told me you’re now the gatekeeper for emergency contacts and I’ve learned my lesson about interrupting his Blaine Time.”

This is your job…this is your job…this is your job

You love your job…you love your job…you love your job

“Yes, of course I’ll tell Blaine. Do you want him to call you?”

“That’s not necessary. My appointment/interview is more of a business lunch so I’ll call him afterwards.” There was a pause, but she could feel he wasn’t finished. “Santana, tell me the truth, at least as much as you’re comfortable telling me without breaking Blaine’s…I mean…it’s just, how is he doing? Sam said the anniversary of the McKinley shooting hit them all harder than they realized it would. Then June Dolloway cancelled his Showcase…”

“You know why she did that. Right?”

“Oh, yes. My mother fell and broke her hip last year. My brothers and I all took turns caring for her so, as a son, I completely understand. As a father, I’m worried about the ramifications for my child.”

A father who gives a damn, even after all the crap that happened when his child came out as gay. Must be nice.

“I do know he has a meeting with Carmen Tibideaux at NYADA next week, but otherwise he really hasn’t said anything. Remember, he only found all this out yesterday.”

“He’s not talking to anyone? I know Sam’s in Kentucky but not even Kurt? And what about that new friend of his…the guy he calls Sir Knight?” WTF? How does he know? “Sam told me the two of you have been trying to find out who he is.”

I…AM…GOING…TO…KILL…HIM!!!!!

“You know Sam. No way his Superhero alter ego can pass up on a mystery.”

“He said maybe there was a tie in with the Warblers. Pammy says Blaine tried to keep his friendships with them even after what happened with his eye but after the steroids everything fell apart.”

That was new. Ok, maybe Sam wasn’t going to die. Plus, Charles was referring to the Warblers as a whole and not one particular Warbler who nearly blinded his son.

“We did think there might be a connection to the Warblers but don’t see how it would connect back to June.”

“June?”

“She gave Blaine the wrong number which turned out to be Sir Knight’s. But our research didn’t go anywhere because neither of us knew any of the Warblers’ full names.”

“Having those names is important?”

“Can’t cyberstalk someone if you don’t know their name.”

They did know the name Sebastian Smythe. Why hadn’t they just Googled the ass? What an epic fail.

She blames Sam, or even better, Blond Chameleon.

“True, but please try to not call your research cyberstalking. Let me get ahold of Pammy and see what she can do, if anything. And Santana, thanks for helping look after my boy. Something’s going on and I don’t want Blaine falling back into the depression he was in last year. Pammy and I still haven’t forgiven ourselves for not catching on sooner.”

After their goodbyes ended, she started to write down all the new information Charles gave her. Right when she pinned the last new 3x5 card to the Blaine Board, an email alert from Pamela popped up on her computer screen. In it was her log-in and password to the Dalton Parent Portal. She’d just gone online and confirmed it worked.

After all this time? Blaine left Dalton nearly 3 years ago. You’d think a fancy private school would have better cyber security. Reading further, Pamela explained alumni bios were listed by graduation year. No graduation, no listing, and yes, that included Blaine.

Again…so why did Pamela’s log-in and password work?

Bios would include the college the alumni currently attend. Since the majority of Dalton boys usually wound up in the Ivy League, at least one of Blaine’s old friends should be close to the NYC area.

The email also contained a list of names to concentrate on. She almost fell out her chair when she got to the final name.

Sebastian Smythe

Even with that mind-blowing development, she knew going through the Dalton site could take hours. She’d have plenty of time for research tomorrow when the kitchen and bathrooms were being ripped out. The best thing to do was to stick to her original plan to try to find the delivery guy from 2 weeks ago.

There was something she had to do before she left.

When she got to the bottom of the stairs, she was surprised to see Blaine at the theater’s concession stand and not in the studio.

At least he’s eating.

“Hey Hermit, it’s Blaine Day. Go to a park and sit under a tree like you usually do.”

“Hermit? Isn’t it Hobbit?”

“Not after this week.”

“Santana…”

“Hey, it’s your fucking life. Do what you want. I just thought you’d like to know your dad called and is going to be here tomorrow for a meeting. If you don’t want him asking more questions than he already will, get some sun on your face!” As she quickly planned a dramatic exit for emphasis, she calmed down long enough to suggest “Call Sir Knight, or text, whatever.”

“I can’t.”

WTF???!!!

“What the hell do you mean I can’t? You’ve been communicating with the guy non-stop for 2 weeks. I’m still in awe how you convinced Hummel to give you a pass on the whole Klaine texting is cheating bull-shit.”

“It’s not a big deal. We agreed to end our chats. He left the country for work, or his grandmother is sick, or both. I don’t know. He said he’s going to be extremely busy and knew I needed to focus on my Showcase, although, that’s not a problem anymore.”

“When? When did you guys break-up?”

“We didn’t break-up and does it really matter when it happened?”

“Blaine…”

“Santana, it’s not like we were friends. He was a wrong number.”

From the look on his face, she knew Blaine was lying. Even in that short amount of time, Sir Knight had become important to Prince Charming. “Call June and ask her what the hell’s going on. We all know that so-called wrong number wasn’t random.”

“She’s in France taking care of her sister-in-law. I’m not going to bother her with this. Sir Knight is gone, so you and Sam can stop your not-so secret mission to prove he was Sebastian which I told you wasn’t possible in the first place!”

3 HOURS LATER

She let herself into the brownstone and proceeded to her office, ignoring the overwhelming desire to go to the basement and check on Blaine. No way he’d gone to a park.

Even though it was barely 1PM, she decided to change into comfy clothes. The best perk of her new job was getting to move out of the loft and into the brownstone. She didn’t care if it was going to be under construction for the next month. Had to be less annoying than Hummel and Berry’s constant bitching. And it’s not like she couldn’t escape if she wanted. Blaineland was completely soundproof due to the studio and home theater.

Sitting back at her desk, she checked her messages. She had one from Sam but if she had a guess he wanted the breakdown of what happened with the delivery guy…Ray. She didn’t even bother to read what he sent and sent one of her own reminding him to spend time with his fucking family. He’d be back in a few days and they’d fix the Blaine Board then.

It wasn’t that she was pushing Blond Chameleon out, he’d just be laser focused on the Sir Knight/Prince Charming (non) break-up. She’s 100% certain Kurt’s Thursday from Hell behavior was the key to all this and her trip to Manhattan only reinforced her beliefs.

Everything went better than she hoped. Not only was Ray working, he remembered her as a friend of Kurt’s (his words…not hers). The first thing she asked was if he knew who sent the food to Blaine. He said he had an idea but was curious why, after 2 weeks, she came all this way to ask.

She had prepared for this.

Her story was that Blaine knew who sent the food but won’t tell anyone. He did say all of them knew/at least met the person from high school. It was beginning to drive them crazy so she and Blaine’s other friends, other than Kurt, turned it into a bet to see who could solve the mystery first. She pulled out a $100 bill…

Still had no idea how to put bribe money in the petty cash ledger but had a feeling the Andersons would be fine with it.

“I’m willing to pay for information.”

The flashing of money brought others over to “help”. They all agreed with Ray when he said, though he couldn’t confirm it, the food had to be sent by the talent or someone in their entourage. The reasoning being unless it was Isabelle Wright, who all agreed it wasn’t, the Vogue employees working the photoshoot couldn’t afford the dinner(s) sent to the brownstone.

And while the NDAs were no joke, and Vogue employees were extremely careful with what they said in public, each of her new buddies had overheard bits and pieces about that night.

It was to launch the new face of a famous fashion house, and the person being shot was a guy. Also, he was an unknown who’d been discovered when a model went AWOL at one of last season’s Fashion Week runway shows in Paris. A friend of a friend (something like that) called this guy and begged him to do it even though he wasn’t a model. The rest was history. One girl added she overheard there was something else going on with the guy, something bigger, like maybe an acting role.

She thanked everyone and pulled out two more $100 bills for them to split as they saw fit. Then she took Ray to the side and asked how much of this information Kurt had. He told her the one thing he told Kurt was the talent sent the food to Blaine, not that it was only a theory. Then he reminded her Kurt had to know a lot more than any of them but wasn’t saying anything due to the NDA.

Must be one hell of an NDA.

She put all this new info on 3x5s cards but after pinning them to the Blaine Board she found herself at a crossroads. Everything was ready for the contractors’ arrival in the morning. There were no more errands to run. She could go down and watch a movie.

Relax and clear her mind of all things Blaine Anderson.

Who was she kidding? The reason she’d allowed herself to get tangled in this web in the first place was so she didn’t have to clear her mind. If she did, she might have to start dealing with the fact Dani dumped her by leaving a letter at the diner for when she returned from Iowa. And how that bitch Brenda found it and convinced the staff to do a routine to Taylor Swift’s We Are Never Getting Back Together as she handed her Dani’s letter. And how she punched that bitch Brenda and had the choice of being fired or having the cops called.

And how in the letter Dani asked her to tell Kurt Elliot had gone to Nashville with her, completely blowing up Hummel’s band. While she could somewhat see Dani in Tennessee the Glitter Rock Vampire made zero sense.

And couldn’t she have asked Berry who still worked at the diner? Who knows, maybe she left a letter for Rachel asking her and that bitch Brenda did something with it. She managed to keep all her other evil plans secret from her then roommate.

Stop it! She needed a distraction and even though she scheduled her Dalton website research for tomorrow, it wouldn’t hurt to check out the one surprise name on Pamela’s list.

Getting on the site was ridiculously easy as was finding the alumni lists. Assuming Smythe graduated the same year as Blam (although she would’ve sworn Blaine was a Senior, not a Sophomore, when they met) she went to 2013. He wasn’t there. That didn’t make sense. Was he still at Dalton?

She put Smythe into the home page search engine and the only things that popped up were Warbler competition videos (the last being last year’s Sectionals) and articles about the LaCross team from the previous year. All mentions of Sebastian end there. Did he leave Dalton before he graduated? Oh crap! Did he have something to do with the steroids? Both Sam and Blaine said there was no proof he was and the Warbler who ratted them out never mentioned the former captain.

*Ding…Dong*

Oh, thank God! While she wanted a distraction, she could see getting lost in this rabbit hole for hours and she had an early wake-up time.

Reaching for the doorknob she prepared herself for Kurt and whatever drama he’d twisted into an emergency to get her to call Blaine for him. She was pleasantly surprised to instead find a beautiful woman with a radiant smile and a killer body.

Not the time Lopez

“May I help you?”

“Are you Santana?”

“Yes…and you are?”

“Oh, I’m sorry. I thought Sam told you I’d be stopping by. My name is Annabelle and I’m one of his manager’s assistants. I’m here to pick up the packet he left so we can get his tax and union paperwork filed before he officially begins work on the musical.”

“He didn’t…wait, he sent me a text but I assumed it was for something else. You don’t look like a serial killer so if you want to come in while I check, you’re more than welcome. Warning though, there’s nowhere to sit because remodeling begins tomorrow.”

Annabelle smiled a smile Santana was trying really hard not to read into. “I’m definitely not a serial killer, although my primary client might disagree. I have threatened him with bodily harm on more than one occasion.”

“Sorry, sounds like a douche bag.”

“No, he’s not, more like an annoying little brother. But I’ll never tell him that.”

“Ok, now I can totally sympathize but at least you don’t get a 2 for 1 like I do with Blam. I’ll be right back.”

As she tried to not look at Santana’s ass as the beautiful woman went to what she assumed was a home office, Annabelle took in her surroundings. There was a rumor going around that one of the major music labels had millions of dollars embezzled by a producer to build a studio in the brownstone they bought for him. In addition, they didn’t find out until after they sold the place.

The guy who bought it was some sort of genius and had a judge agree anything attached to (even just screwed into the wall) the structure was included in the as is purchase price.

Since everyone in the NYC entertainment (not just music) industry thought the CEO of the label was an asshole they were celebrating still unknown man as a modern-day Robin Hood. And while the odds this being that particular brownstone were astronomical, she was still going to ask.

“I got ahold of Trouty. Yes, he did send a message, the one I ignored, so here you go.” Santana handed over an envelope, both women going out of their way not to touch the other’s hand. “He also said his manager wanted to know about the study system Blam developed back in high school to help his dyslexia.”

“You keep referring to Blam. Who is that?"

"Sam and his best friend. It’s like they have one mind so it’s easier to give them one name.”

“Would it be possible to get his number so I can talk to him on how to help Sam?”

“He’s in the studio in the basement. Maybe Hermit will actually leave it if he knows it’s to help Trouty.”

Hermit? Trouty? Annabelle only cared about one word “Studio? There’s a studio in the basement?”

“Yeah, it’s pretty sweet. We found it when the Andersons bought the place. Hold on, I’ll have to send a text. The whole level is soundproof.” Santana watched as Annabelle turned into a cartoon character with as wide as her eyes got and how far her jaw dropped. “Is something wrong?”

“Holy Shit! The rumors are true?”

“Rumors?”

“The brownstone with the studio!! How the guy who bought it screwed the label out of millions of dollars. He’s a fucking legend!”

“My dad didn’t screw anyone out of anything. It’s not his fault the label had such shitty bookkeeping.”

Annabelle turned around and went straight back to cartoon mode. She’d recognize that guy anywhere. “Blaine Fucking Anderson.”

“Excuse me. Who the hell are you to call me that?”

Santana was put off as well. Things had been going great until that moment. “Annabelle…”

It was Blaine’s turn to turn into a cartoon character. “Annabelle? Annabelle who works as an assistant to an entertainment manager?”

Their guest still wasn’t talking and had gone so far as to put her hand over her mouth. Santana quickly came to the conclusion she was the only one with no idea what was happening. “Blaine, why does Annabelle’s name and job matter?”

“Because Sir Knight had someone like you who took care of shit for him but she was his manager’s assistant and her name was Annabelle. Joey, the driver, knows where I live but he didn’t know my name.”

“Blaine, I’m sorry…”

“Are you here to spy on me under the pretense of taking care of Sam? There’s no reason. Sir Knight left the country and told me he’d be too busy to chat so it would be best if we stopped.” Then it dawned on him. “How do you know my name? Did you do some sort of research on me?”

Santana huffed and threw up her arms in frustration. “If she did and got your name, she’s much better than me and the Blond Chameleon. We still have no clue who Sir Knight is. How did you figure it out? Is it because the driver guy had Blainer’s address?”

Annabelle pulled back her hair, obviously a nervous habit, and shook her head. “You don’t understand. I could lose my job for the little bit I’ve already accidently said.” She looked away from Santana to Blaine and saw the same pained expression on his face that she saw on Sebastain’s when he left for Paris. Yes, he was worried about his Nana but she knew it was also for the loss of his Prince Charming.

She had no idea why he cut Blaine off when he needed his friend (love of his life) the most. He had an international phone plan. Screw it! The jerk needed her too much to have Benny fire her.

“Sir Knight knew you were Blaine Anderson the second you called him the first time. You obviously hadn’t changed your number in years.”

Blaine and Santana grabbed each other’s arms as a means to keep balance. It was a bad time not to have any furniture to hold on to. “I haven’t changed my number. The Ohio area code should have been the first clue” Blaine said as he tried to remember his first conversations with Sir Knight. “But he had changed phones recently to a private line.”

“Yes, and I set it up with only the 22 contacts he was allowed to keep. Evidently, he later deleted his parents and put you in himself…under the name Killer. It looks like you both figured it out but if you’re looking for confirmation…Sir Knight’s name is Sebastian Smythe.”

“Damn it! The Blond Chameleon is going to be an even bigger pain in the ass once he finds out he was right all along!”

AO3

#blaine anderson #sebastian smythe #seblaine fic

[megaawkwardhuman]

15 questions thing

Thanks for tagging me @someguywife :)

1) Are you named after anyone? birth name: no. my preferred name: yes named myself after the lead singer of a band I liked at the time!

2) When was the last time you cried? last night while badly singing a mitski song.

3) Do you have kids? do plush children count? if so yes I have kids and I have a loooot of them.

4) Do you use sarcasm a lot? no but every now and then I use it. (it honestly depends on who I'm talking to.)

5) What's the first thing you notice about people? don't really know probably the way that they talk maybe?

6) What's your eye color? dark brown. (but not too dark you can't see my pupils)

7) Scary movies or happy endings? if I HAD to pick happy endings tho I do love both equally.

8) Any special talents? ok this is going to sound crazy and idk if it's a talent per se but I've scaringly good at predicting things. it's never anything MAJOR (well except that one time I predicted the queen of england's death two days before it happened BUT THAT'S A STORY FOR ANOTHER DAY) but I've predicted minor things both on purpose and on accident WAY too many things for it to be a coincidence. idk I could just be crazy. (I'm probably just crazy)

9) Where were you born? Some where in california. (That's as much as I'm gonna say)

10) What are your hobbies? drawing, making kandi (if you don't know what that is they're these plastic bracelets that are common among ravers and some subcultures tho I'm not a raver nor am I in the subcultures they're common in I just think they're neat ¯\_(ツ)_/¯), writing every now and then, and whatever I pick up at 3am and fixate over for a week.

11) Do you have any pets? yes a german shepherd. :)

12) What sports do you play/have you played? never really played any sports competitively. I did swim a lot growing up tho and I was really good if I do say so myself. haven't swam in YEARS (maybe one day but not anytime soon)

13) How tall are you? 5'10 but wish I was taller.

14) Favourite subject in high school? art! sadly I only had it freshman year but I fucking loved it! honorable mention to my freshman year theater class mainly for the people who were clearly only in that class cause they needed the credit/placed in it and couldn't get out of it which lead to many interesting moments.

15) Dream job? I don't have anything in particular in mind really. maybe something that involve art of some sorts but idk.

I personally feel weird tagging people on posts but feel free to do this if you wanna :D

#little question thing #why yes I am going to gloss over wtf I mean by predicting the queen's death it's a long story

[variant-001]

✨ Fic Writing Review 2023 ✨

words and fics (and art!)

Saw this thing floating around and figured why not do it for funsies. 🤷‍♀️ I haven't looked at my AO3 stats in forever so this should be interesting... at least for me LOL.

170,262 words posted to AO3 for 2023 and 349,034 so far -> that's probably counting the collabs I joined (I personally write big bois so that says a lot about me I guess lol)

4 one-shots completed

1 ongoing multichapter carried over from... 2021 rip (that will probably go on forever with the way I can't find a steady writing schedule because of life LMFAO)

top fics by kudos

a/n: I don't know the exact number of kudos for these because I disabled my kudos. I just peeped at my stats, filtered it to 2023, sorted it by kudos, and these 5 fics popped up. 🤷‍♀️

let's be (alone) together

Perfect Partners

To The Edge of Our World

Daggers Out (this one is a collab)

the distance between you and me

my fandom fic events in 2023

Sylki Writers' Server: Daggers Out - A Sylki Murder Mystery CYOA fic -> Jane's chapter and Theory #2: Jane and Sylvie

Sylki Artists' Server: I want to try everything - Celebrating Sophia Di Martino's birthday -> Careful With That Axe, Sylvie

Upcoming Events and Projects for 2024

Sylki Artist & Writers' Group Secret Santa 2023 -> well... this kinda gets revealed at the end of the year but I'm just gonna put this here

Sylki Artists' Server AU Big Bang -> do i say the prompt? no. do i have an outline for it? yes, currently putting it in a doc. is it going to be just hitting that 30k word count? no, definitely not. definitely more than 30k words will be written. is it going to have a hap--i'm gonna shut up now.

PP!! 🍆

Secret idea #1 in my "not started" WIP folder that I've been toying with when i take mini-breaks writing PP chapters.

Maybe also that secret idea #2

And secret idea #3

Possibly other future collabs from the servers

Rules & Tags below the cut! Rules: Feel free to show whatever stats you have. Only want to show Ao3 stats? Rock on. Want to include some quantitative info instead of stats? Please do this. Want to change how yours is presented? Absolutely do that. Would rather eat glass than do this? Please don’t eat glass but don’t feel like you have to do this either.

Not gonna tag people so if you just see this floating around, feel free to do this if you're bored LOL.

like me who's taking a break from writing/editing the next update + ss okay I'll haul my ass back to my docs now

#fic writing review 2023 #jfc i wrote a lot of words this year i need to shut up #lmao at that fix-it fic beating pp in kudos #writing woes #writing #ao3 writer #fanfic

[juvederm]

idek if new ppl in the fandom are looking at my stuff, or if returning fans are seeing it either, but i wanna get something off my chest ,!??! in regards to how i draw josh and whatnot

i don't draw josh in feminine outfits with the thought "yas he'd totally wear this" i don't. like rly i don't. and if anyone thinks that, trust me i know. i do know he wouldn't wear it. but it's genuinely like a fun thing. i'm not rly considering his personality when i do it. i like this character, i like this outfit, put it together and boom

i'm starting to think the outfits were never the issue tho. sometimes i'm even second guessing very Simple outfits i draw him in before i post stuff. i'm like "this won't have anyone looking at me sideways right. he's just in a black shirt and jeans." and i'm so overly cautious about it, and have been for years actually. for as long as i've made content about this game, especially art, i didn't post it. i have a loooot of josh drawings that i haven't posted, most of them in physical sketchbooks. only reason i didn't post them was bc i somehow had a spidey sense abt being judged for the looks i drew for him

i mean, when i was in a public smg discord, they said my art of josh was "risqué", when it was just a tank top and shorts. if i'd drawn a cis character in that, there wouldn't have been an issue. and i draw josh as trans, and i have made a million posts and documents about this hc of mine, i'm not gonna bore anyone with the details of it. but yes, he does still have boobs. yeah, he's a trans man to me and yet, i can still draw him in feminine outfits

mostly bc i'm a feminine trans guy. honestly i'm not even strictly feminine, i lean more toward androgynous but occasionally i'll dress up, doll myself up and stuff. i'm not against appearing masculine either, and when i'm in public, i prefer to be masculine. but like, my exprsssion isn't limited to that. trans men don't have to be Strictly masculine or else they're not trans or men. like. if cis men can paint their nails and be praised for 'not caring about toxic masculinity' where is that energy for trans men. for real.

and yea this ties in w my art bc i project a shit ton. but in reality when i'm making like in universe fanart, i'll draw josh in fitting clothes. like no he's not gonna wear whatever Heavily Stylized outfit i drew him in that took under 2 minutes. i'll actually put emotion and feelings into something for the "real josh" or whatever the fuck.

i talk about this sometimes and maybe some ppl even saw it, but whenever that person was in my inbox saying "how did you make the heterosexual guy feminine" (that's basically what the question was) i was so confused bc... what does sexuality have to do w that anyways??? i mean the answer is as simple as "i'm projecting and having fun" but being straight as a man doesn't stop you from dressing feminine, there's a lot of guys like that

and i'm at a certain point where i'm starting to think it's bc i draw josh trans. like bruh. if i was to draw mike in his white tank top and posted that in that discord, it wouldn't be seen as risqué. but i draw josh in the same thing, who just so happens to have boobs, all the sudden it's risqué

like seriously what is up with that. and yeah i know right away you wouldn't think that it's him in any of the feminine outfits i draw him in, but again, that's me having fun. i don't really wnana keep drawing him in his flannel??? like can we do other things

for "real josh", yeah he's not gonna wear any of that. i know that. any time i've written for josh (usually an in universe, canon thing), he's not wearing anything too flashy. which is normally how i see him anyway. instead of like this overly stylized and accessorized outfit, i would actually see him wearing a simple tee and jeans. i just wanna have fun so i find outfits i like and draw him in them

idek why i'm saying all of this. it's just been on my chest for a while and i feel like i haven't been able to properly enjoy being apart of the fandom bc it just feels like everyone's constantly judging me. i don't even like tagging my josh stuff w the game's tag bc i'm scared of everyone in there lmfao

my friend rose can attest to this, i was nervous about posting my art anywhere bc i was convinced someone was gonna say something abt me drawing josh with boobs or something. and i was so nervous abt that i was like. Plz. Just don't ask about it. it's not a big deal to me so why is it for anyone else. like he's got boobs and what. what about it.

i'm tired and my mouth is dry so i'm just gonna shut up

#i have like a whole timeline for trans josh btw #if ur ever curious about it which i can't rly imagine anyone being curious #but i'll prob post it at some point #i have a lot of in depth explanations for my art of josh #not tagging this #josh