#yes i made community meme. try and stop me!

[genericpuff]

the last few episodes of persephone moping around have felt like less of a self-reflective moment for her to grow and change and more rachel griping about criticism and surrounding herself with yes men

this isn't gonna be in any way a formal essay like my usual sort, more of a slam post honestly, so fair warning that i'm gonna be a little salty here

EPISODE 263 SPOILERS AHEAD!!!!

but seriously, it's been a pity party of greek proportions because this constant "woe is me" shit with persephone that's constantly met with "no queeen you're amazing and perfect" has been going on for DAYS (real time and comic time)

literally every episode since the comic returned has had some segment of either persephone or hades (or both) being upsetti spaghetti over their current situation because oh nooo persephone made the deal with erebus and had to sacrifice something. even though they both knew that was gonna happen and yet she did it anyways. so she just continues to lock herself away in her mansion and spout adorkable quips while her husband, mother, and colleagues deal with the mess she caused.

and of course there's the constant inclusion of apollo spitting straight facts about persephone being a terrible queen and person, but of course because it's apollo saying it, it's not meant to be taken as gospel, essentially clapping back at the words of the critics who call out persephone for being a shitty and toxic protagonist by putting those words into the mouth of a literal rapist.

and yeah episode 263 had a lot of the same shit, to the point that you could literally swap out the names of the characters and the words they were speaking and it applies exactly to rachel and the corner she put herself in u.u it's been a thing for a while now that apollo has just felt like a mouthpiece for LO criticism but as mentioned by users within the subreddit during the discussion of this newest episode, it's never felt more apparent than now.

so yeah enjoy this satirical text edit of a sequence from the newest FP episode, which I honestly can't tell is meant to satirize the critical community or Rachel's reactions to the critical community because the weird reality this comic and its community exist in has just become that wack that it's hard to believe it's not directly from The Onion sometimes LMAO

-and as much as i find myself empathizing with the pressure that rachel is surely under right now - no one should have to be subject to the screeching howls of the peanut gallery - i can't help but be reminded of the memes and tweets she's put out that basically outright say "persephone is supposed to be celebrated for being a shitty person, if you can't handle her at her worst you don't deserve her at her best 💅"-

-and how often she's ruined her own day looking for critical groups or people with the "wrong opinions" that were minding their own business, or how much she's stifled her own community's attempts to discuss the story openly by having her mods ban anyone with even so much as a question regarding persephone's integrity.

so yeah, as much as i can empathize with her from one creator to another that being under this amount of pressure and scrutiny must be immensely frustrating and exhausting, beyond that one similarity i just can't empathize or relate to this mindset of almost learned helplessness that's taken a firm grip over her writing. this is the story she wants to tell and by all means no one is entitled to make her stop, but if she's gonna keep using her greek myth "retelling" comic that's trying to be "feminist" as a mouthpiece for her own griping over criticisms that are largely on-point and justified - to the point of putting the words of her critics into the mouth of her token villain like she's playing some single player barbie doll "act out that fight that sounded cooler in your head" game - then she's gonna keep getting called out, full stop. i figured she didn't have any nose left to rip off in spite of her face but apparently not.

look, i get it, there are some opinions and behaviors within the critical community that even i'm not on board with. there are people who absolutely take shit too far on both sides of the fandom, and i think both sides need to do more to hold themselves accountable for how they interact with each other, the comic, and rachel herself. i make it a point to keep my shit in my own house, i'm not entitled to rachel's attention and frankly it's the last thing i want because i have a lot of fun here and i don't want that to be potentially ruined or dampened! but if you come into my house and complain about the decorating, then i legitimately don't know what to tell you. i used to love LO and i'm so sad for my past self knowing fully well they're not gonna be able to wholeheartedly enjoy this comic forever due to how manipulative and shitty the storytelling has become. a story that i once connected to as an AFAB who was a victim of assault and abuse and generational trauma.

if persephone being the true main villain in her own story was ever meant to be the point of Lore Olympus, then it's taken way, way too long to get to that point, and rachel herself definitely doesn't seem to be of the mindset that that's what she's become with all of her blasé meme'ing on a plot arc that she's still expecting us to take seriously. persephone was never a very complex character to begin with - being an easy self-insert for the audience and rachel to project themselves onto and relate to - but at least in the beginning she felt like she had so much legitimate potential, she was naive but put her best foot forward and clearly wanted to make a life for herself, made by herself.

now she's just mean. jaded and mean. dependent on the constant validation of others to the point of being manipulative. an absolute shell of a person who can only grow a spine when she's punching down on people weaker than her, completely incapable of standing up to the people who are a legitimate threat to her. it's not empowering, it's not subversive, it's just another pick me story about women pitting themselves against other women and never taking accountability for their own behavior, mistakes, and deliberate actions meant to hurt others, often teetering on the line of straight up narcissism all for the sake of a "boss babe" moment.

anyways, if you want an actual well-written and GOOD scene of an empathetic female protagonist struggling to find their footing in adulthood being called the fuck out for their learned helplessness behavior, go read Tamberlane, it tackles this topic much better through its main character who keeps using her brokenness as an excuse to never do better, it slaps and it's so real.

#the only thing i could possibly enjoy from these episodes is minthe coming forward #and leuce #and tori #other than that they're just a bunch of nothing #no plot #no yeehaw #just boohoo #and not even in the good way where you know the 'boohoo' is gonna lead to some good yeehaw #the shitty and toxic way where the 'boohoo' is a personality trait that everyone else has to bend themselves around #lore olympus critical #anti lore olympus #lo critical #Instagram

[sad-leon]

Doe + Change

Doe expected things to change, but not this much.

She'd always felt more feminine than her brothers, but didn't really have a name for it until Donnie confirmed that she was, in fact, female. Her genius brother had helped her search it up. Transgender. There was a whole community out there like her.

Neat.

Except, they weren't really like her. She was lucky enough to be born in the right body, just raised differently. She didn't have to worry about hormones or surgery or other surface issues like jobs or school. She has her lovely supportive family.

So, fine. Maybe she didn't have a community, but she had her brothers and that was fine!

Until wrestling matches disappeared. And she was given first choice on movie nights even when she lost the arm wrestles or whatever silly little game they decided to play. And when she lost a game and was met with compassion instead of teasing.

It was starting to get annoying.

She already had a rough night, but the thought of Dad letting them go up to the surfact to patrol gave her hope. She could run with her brothers again! They could race! And things would finally be normal again when they realized that nothing actually changed.

A gentle knock on the wall caught her attention. "Hey, Doe? You up?" Mikey asked. Doe frowned. Usually her little brother wouldn't hesitate to barge into her room.

Taking a breath, she plastered a smile on her face and sat up. "Yup! We're going to the surface, right?"

Mikey lit up. He nodded aggressively. "Yup! Yup! Raphie told me to come get you while he gets Donnie!"

Standing up, Doe grabbed her jacket, tugging it loosely over her shoulders. "Was he in his lab late again?"

Shrugging, Mikey stepped to the sided, gesturing for Doe to leave the room while he closed the curtain behind her. "Raphie just said that he'd going to 'drag donnie out of that lab and barricade the door' if he keeps ignoring Raphie's knocks." Mikey lowered his voice to immitate the cadence of their oldest brother.

Trying to ignore the flare of annoyance at not even being allowed to close her own curtain, she chuckled. "Donnie will get back into his lab if it's the last thing he does."

The two youngest turtles made their way into the common area where Raph was tugging a beanie onto a very disgruntled Donnie.

Doe sidled up to the side of her twin and elbowed his side. "Someone wasn't sleeping, huh?"

Donnie just gave her a huff. "Scoff. I was just trying to finish up my newest battle shell."

Raph grumbled and pulled the beanie down over the softshell's eyes. "You went to bed two hours ago. I told you to stop doing that. You need to sleep!"

Fixing his beanie, Donnie glared at Doe. "Well atleast I slept."

Raph gawked and turned to Doe. "You didn't sleep? Why? Are you feeling okay?"

Doe rolled her eyes at the gentle tone her oldest brother adopted. "I slept fine."

"You were sending me memes until about an hour ago," Donnie grumbed. "I have the timestamps."

Trying to lunge at Donnie proved futile when Raph gentley intercepted Doe, setting her down a few feet away from her smug twin. His face was nothing but concern and he gently put a beanie on her head as well. No teasing. No pulling the beanie down. Just concern and gentleness.

Doe just huffed, stuffing her hands in her jacket pockets and pouting.

Raph looked like he wanted to say something, but stopped and turned around, leading the way to the entrance of the lair. "Okay, you all know the rules. Stay close to me and don't run off. Again. Or Raph will be very upset. Again."

"Yes Raph," the three younger turtles agreed and followed Raph out the door and through the tunnels.

The surface was much colder than Doe had though. Her jacket was not thick enough at all, and she had also worn her thinest pair of sweats. Repressing her shivering, she pushed forward. It was fine, she'd be able to warm up once they got moving.

The beginning of the patrol was normal. They bantered. They raced. They jumped around. Then Doe slipped.

She was running to make a leap, slipped on a puddle near the edge of the roof and totally missed the next roof. She grabbed onto a windowsill and hauled herself up, climbing onto the next roof.

"Doe!" Raph had yelled. And even when she pulled herself up, he was looking at her with nothing but concern. He stepped back, getting some momentum to leap onto the rooftop next to Doe. "Are you okay?"

Doe shrugged away from his hands, fixing her coat and beanie herself. The annoyance was turning into irritation. It made her blood itch. "I'm fine Raph."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes."

Mikey and Donnie landed onto the rooftop next to them only a moment later.

Expecting some sort of jab or tease, she turned toward her twin only to be met with concern. "Are your shoulders sore? Do you feel any tension when you move them?"

They were a little sore, but Doe wasn't going to give them the satisfaction of having an actual cause for concern. "What are you, Don? The medic?"

"No. But that looked like it could have potentially hurt."

Doe just rolled her eyes and turned away, planning to continue the patrol.

Raph put a hand on her shoulder, stopping her. "I think we should go home."

"What?" Doe hissed. The itching was become unbearable. Her hands twitched, as did her tail.

"You're tired and you're also probably sore, even if you don't feel it."

"I'm fine!"

Raph just groaned and starting to walk back the way they had just come. "Let's go."

Doe fumed. "No! We just go out here. Yeah, sure, fine. I slipped, but I'm fine!" She turned to Mikey and Donnie for support, but they were both angled toward Raph, frowning at her. "Really? Really?! I make one little mistake and suddenly we have to go home?!"

"You got hurt-" Mikey started.

"I'm not hurt! I'm fine! I slipped, I biffed it, took an L -- whatever you wanna call it -- and I'm flattered you guys are concerned about lil ol' me, but really? No teasing? No nothing?" Venom was starting to lace Doe's tone but she couldn't care less. "Gah! Ever since I came out you guys have changed! I just want what we used to have back!"

Raph looked stunned, but took a breath and said in the most annoying calm voice, "I know you're tired, but we're just concerned."

"Gahh!" Doe yelled, throwing her hands in the air. "Shut up! Shut up shut up shut up! I'm sick of this!" She sent a glare at her oldest brother before turning around and running.

-----------

Threw this one up on Ao3 :D

it was much longer than i meant it to be... oops

#leonardoe #rottmnt #rise of the tmnt #rise leo #rottmnt leo #rise leonardo #rottmnt leonardo #trans leo #transfem leo #i still do not have a writing tag lmao... #uhhh #leon writes #sure #simple but itll do #thinking about throwing this one up on ao3 #it is.. uhh much longer than i thought it would be #okay so i caved and put it up on ao3 #rottmnt fic #fanfic #hurt no comfort #no happy ending #its not like.. whump.. but theres still no comfort #arguing #tension #teehee #uhhhh ill make this go live when its not.. uhh... 2am :D #probably after the doe art i schedule for this morning as well

[dumbkatsu]

You ask and I deliver! I'm so happy everyone is enjoying the Mu Qing hc, so let's start:

Mu Qing would notice the littlest things about you.

From how you style your hair, how you prepare your coffee/tea, what you put first in the bowl if it's the cereals or the milk to the little gestures you do when you're nervous.

He just loves your little mannerisms so much. He finds them endearing.

Even the way every week you organize your books in a different system

He would notice how you sometimes forget to take care of yourself properly so he would help.

If you are a very busy person in the morning and forget to eat breakfast he'd prepare it for you to take away with a sticky note saying: "Don't forget to eat dummy"

When you first introduced him to MBTI he was really confused.

And when you explained the concept to him he low-key thought it would be another zodiac thing.

Which made you really pissed

So you made him do the test.

(And during the test he was a bit bored ngl)

It gave him ISTJ

At first, he was confused but as he read his results he was starting to doubt his convictions and so he became interested in mbti's

Cue you sending him a shitton of mbti memes 24/7

And whenever he saw a meme roasting your mbti he would def sending you

You would def make him dress up as your mbti for Halloween

But he wouldn't mind

Because if it made you smile he would do anything for you

When it comes to communication in a relationship, he can get a bit shy and insecure, so there will be times when he won't say wants to say. But if you talk to him and show him that you can give him a safe space to express his feelings he will become more confident and it will show.

OH! I totally feel like mu qing is the type to avoid you when he realizes his feelings for you (pre-relationship)

If you were close friends before and this starts happening it can be very hurtful.

You try to corner him but to no avail, he just gives a half-assed excuse and weasels his way away from you again.

It takes Xie Lian, Feng Xin, and even a tiny roast from Hua Cheng to make him apologize and confess to you

"Mu Qing you should be honest about your feelings, it's clear that they like you too!"

"Yeah bro you need to go head in and do it, it's been too long and now that you decided to very obviously distance yourself they've kinda been upset these past few days"

"Only a pussy bitch boy wouldn't admit their feelings and just confess instead of causing mindless hurt to both parties, isn't that right Mu Qing?"

"San lang..."

Yes that was basically the last drop for Mu Qing and he decides to drive up to your place

(cliché warning: I'm about to be so corny on this one I hope you can forgive me)

It started pouring rain and Mu Qing cursed himself for not doing this sooner and just being a blatant coward.

When he reached your driveway he calls your phone

"Hey, why are you-"

"Come outside"

"Mu Qing it's raining"

"I don't care just come outside, I want to take you somewhere"

"Fine. Give me a minute"

You basically leave in your pajamas and go on a late-night drive with Mu Qing.

He obviously gives you the aux cord bcs he likes your taste in music

You guys drive for a bit until he stops at a place with a nice skyline

You guys stay silent until he turns the engine off.

Mu Qing sighs to himself as you look at him expectantly

"Look Y/n I'm sorry. I have been a first-class dick these past few days and I really didn't want to hurt you by doing it but...it's just that... " he stops.

The words he wants to say can't get out of his mouth it's stuck in his throat until he feels your hand on top of his giving him an encouraging nod

It's incredible how you make him feel like he can conquer the world without uttering a single word really.

"I have feelings for you y/n. I never felt like this before. I feel like I don't deserve to feel like this, I feel like I don't deserve you in my life because I can't treat you like you should be treated. You've been here for me through thick and thin and I would do anything for you. But I am honestly feeling very fucking scared for what it might happen next."

You stay quiet trying to process all of the information you were just told. It was a lot to take in. Until you broke the agonising silence.

"I like you too Mu qing. I always have" you said with a beaming smile

"And yes you were being a total asshat, I was so confused. I thought you were upset that I ate the last chocolate pudding in your fridge"

"SO IT WAS YOU?? I THOUGHT I WAS FENG XIN! I MADE HIM BUY ME 4 MORE"

You two broke in silly laughter and when you opened your eyes you saw mu qing really close to your face.

He was looking at your eyes with such adoration that it was hard to maintain eye contact with those grey eyes.

He momentarily looked at your lips and his Adam's apple bobbed

He looks back at your eyes again moving closer. Your lips almost touching

"Can I k-kiss you?"

You guys can figure out the rest ;)

#WHOOO finally I let this one out of the drafts #it took way too long #im so sorry for the wait #but here he is #mu qing x you #mu qing x y/n #mu qing x reader #mu qing #i might have went a bit overboard with the angst but that's why you're here #tgcf #tgcf fanfic #tgcf hc #tgcf x reader #katsu writes #tian guan ci fu #mxtx #mxtx novels #heaven's official blessing #heavens official blessing #mxtx characters #fanfic #fanfiction #headcanon

[shakingparadigm]

WOW. I JUST. I JUST REALLY LOVE YOUR ANALYSIS AND THEORIES DON'T EVER STOP PLEASE. I LOVE THE STRUCTURE OF YOUR EXPLANATIONS.

In the chaos of the wait,there is someone to accompany me through a journey of madness with Alien Stage. Haha.

*insert meme of cat with wine*

I wonder what does Till think about Ivan.Now that Mizi is missing,and he seems to have completely lost himself and a reason to pursue forward,I couldn't help but ask myself: "Does he feel like he's condemned to die because of his guilt towards Ivan too? Does he feel like this or l'm just overthinking?" What if there's a retrospective we don't know about in which Till thinks Ivan didn't escape because of HIM and,now that Mizi isn't there,he's not torn about lvan anymore and what to do if he ever had to compete against him? Was he going to be conflicted in the first place? Like: "I have nothing,l lost my last hope. I may just die now rather than make my friend being killed. Is this the right thing? Why it had to be this way from the beginning,suffering because of the aliens? What am I? Why do I have to remember those things? What am I doing this for? I just wanted to survive and love Mizi"

Like we all know,thanks to the community posts,we see him have a certain dynamic with Ivan,in which they interact joking or bickering,and this strengthens a type of attachment he cannot deny. So,in the ROUND CURE we'll see Till (or Ivan) remember their past and we'll get to know more about their story with the progression of the actual one. (Ivan indeed didn't escape to stay with him,but Till doesn't know about lvan feelings,he may have been supposing all this time that he didn't made it or he just followed him back for some strange reason) I'm uncertain if they remember about seeing each other in the laboratories,through all the trauma...

l just hope that Till and Ivan don't succumb. What if lvan encourages Till to fight again unlike Luka with Mizi. What will Ivan do to try to protect Till?

Sometimes I suspect Vivinos like to play with us. Not just our feelings. WE ARE HERE JUST TO SUFFER.

THE HEARTBEATS IN THE TEASER MAKE ME FEEL SO NERVOUS HELP.

I just know that Till looks so broken and... he may have had a breakdown at this point. He has dark circles under his eyes and it's clear he has not been sleeping. I wonder if the aliens drugged him or something. For the lenght of the hair: how much time has passed?! At least a month?

One more thing I noticed,is that Till doesn't seem to have that sort of IV tube they used to sedate him like on stage in ROUND 2.

And in Hyuna's song,around the end,a security guard writes something in the sand. I don't think they'll be discovered for this but I'm really nervous.

Anyway,l really enjoy my time on your beautiful page! 🫂 Oh,please! Don't think you write stupid things,because your ideas and perspective are interesting and well put. I really like how you express yourself!

Have a nice day!! (and sorry for any mistake)

AH?!!! THANK YOU!! THANK YOU SO MUCH!!! tears in my eyes...

Yes!!! I shall accompany you through the madness. In fact I carry the madness in myself as well. If my yelling and flood of posts are anything to go by.

ALSO. WOW. That's genuinely so heartbreaking. Till having guilt isn't talked about often but it's very plausible that he'll be feeling it tenfold during this round. It's his fault, after all, that they're still here. Now that Mizi, the whole reason he stayed, is gone too, what was all of it for? He doomed himself and Ivan for nothing. You're right. He seems hopeless. I can definitely feel Till in those words, and it's so sad to think about how his thoughts could devolve to that point. He seemed so determined, so bright and dynamic at the beginning during ROUND 2. Now he seems so empty. Ivan and Till are definitely much closer than the both of them let on, there's no way they were just "fine". I think Till does hold fondness for Ivan, maybe even a little aware of his feelings (I don't think he knows what extent though, not sure he knows that Ivan's world literally revolves around him). What I'm sure of is that Till isn't as indifferent to Ivan as he might seem. Ivan is incredibly important to him too, and he has to come to terms with all of the guilt and feelings that were previously buried under his love and fixation for Mizi.

Oh... If Ivan spent most of ROUND 6 encouraging Till to fight I would be HEARTBROKEN. I remember one of the most common theories in the beginning was that Ivan would refuse to fight so that Till could win, and maybe Till would try and convince Ivan to fight. It's really interesting to see that the opposite might be true instead! And yes, VIVINOS LOVES to play with our feelings! It's their specialty.

Haha, Till's always had horrible eyebags! He apparently only gets less than 5 hours of sleep per day, and he's an incredibly light sleeper. Despite his eyebags though, Till always possessed such a large amount of energy. He had a lot of fight in him. You're right though, now he just seems exhausted. He's definitely been spiralling down into some very dooming thoughts. I wonder how much time has passed too...

An IV tube? I believe that's just his leash (just to make sure he's constantly restrained), but wow, thinking of it as an IV tube has some very horrifying implications. If they tried to sedate him, it definitely didn't work well HAHAH (RIP Freddie).

I thought the security guard writing in the sand was just a fun little visual gag, but if it's actually used to track down Mizi and Hyuna, oh shit. Improved security, after all. This isn't gonna be easy for them.

Thank you so much for enjoying my blog!! It means a lot to me, seriously. I might cry receiving all these nice notes and messages. Don't worry about any mistakes, by the way! You're quite a well-put writer yourself! :) Thank you for expressing yourself to me as well! I appreciate sharing all these ideas and hearing about new ones! I hope you have a great day too! ^^

#alnst #alien stage #alien stage round 6 #asks

[cookinguptales]

I almost wrote a small essay in the tags of that "fanwork as content" post but realized that it would probably be better off as its own post. So now it's... a large, rambling essay. lmao

Like... to preface, AO3 is great, it's a great resource for fandom, it feels good to have a centralized location that works well. That said, there has been a steady decline in how I've felt treated as an author since we switched to an archive-only model of fic.

For people who are newer to fandom, pre-AO3 (and even in the early days of AO3), people often crossposted fic. Sometimes to websites, sometimes to journals (particularly LJ/DW), sometimes to communities, sometimes to kink memes...

AO3, while certainly one of the primary places you could upload stuff, wasn't necessarily where you would get most of your primary interaction about your fic. It was always designed to be an archive, not a social media site.

But since we moved to an archive model (and away from LJ/DW) I've noticed that fic gets almost no traction on sites that actually are intended for social interaction. I'm not saying it's easy for any creator in fandom, but god. The numbers on fic posts are just downright demoralizing.

I don't mean to sound arrogant here, but I think I'm a pretty good writer. People seem to really connect with my fic. In multiple fandoms, I've written fic that most people have read and enjoyed, to the point where people have just taken it for granted that if someone reads fic in the fandom, they've probably read something I've written.

All this is to say, I know I've written fics that people like. I know I've written fics that people connect with. And I know those posts still only get like 5 notes sometimes on Tumblr.

I'm proud of my work and I'm happy that it's gotten such a warm welcome on AO3!!! But there are times when I feel like all this means that I could write literally the best fic on earth and still no one would talk to me. People still wouldn't want to interact with me on social media sites.

I wrestled for... honestly, a long time with all this. I had a hard time putting into words why this felt so uh. Bad. Was I just self-conscious about my own writing? Yes, but that's a separate issue. Was I just jealous of others' popularity? Sort of, but it went deeper than that.

I had an issue with a fandom that I don't write in anymore. I got a lot of fanart based on my fic, which was great, which was amazing, there were even fan comics made. Visual media travels better on social media than fic. That's just a fact. And I had to watch as repeatedly, art based on the fic I wrote got thousands of notes while my fic got maybe 12. And I realized the power of social media vs. AO3 because it did get to audiences that weren't familiar with my fic and people started to give those artists credit for my ideas.

I remember watching the tags of those posts because it was occasionally the only way I'd hear feedback on what I'd written (imagine getting one comment and 5 notes on a fic, then seeing dozens of people in the tags of fanart saying that it was their favorite fic in the fandom! it was weird!) and seeing the tags gradually devolve into "oh, this is such a neat idea for an AU, artist OP" or "wow this dialogue is perfect [artist] I love it" and like

It's weird to feel so happy because so many people are enjoying your work in a transformative way but also so unhappy because you have been completely removed from the equation. No one... even knows you wrote those things anymore. You have been removed in favor of a more "marketable" version of your work.

It's uh. It's a bad feeling. I stopped writing in that fandom eventually.

So again, I felt like... idk, like there was no point in me even trying. Because I could write the best fic on earth and still somehow get erased as a person. People would want my "content," but they wouldn't want me.

I think that's what hurt my feelings so much.

What I've realized is this: what I miss is the sense of community. On LJ, you could post a fic, cross-post it to a community, and there would be comments that would become conversations that would become lasting friendships. Not always! But often. I still talk to some people daily who I met through fic on LJ over a decade ago.

In the archive model, there has almost become a death of the author. The me on social media and the me on AO3 are very different; more importantly, it's almost like it's viewed as the "me" is on social media, but the work is on AO3. I am absent. There is only the fic, not the person who created it.

And that's okay, but when you try to combine those two things on social media and it goes over like a lead balloon... idk. There's an odd sense of dehumanization. I don't mean it in like... I don't know, a dramatic human rights violation kind of way. More that I literally feel like less of a human person the way I interact with fandom these days. Like I'm no longer a person who writes fic as a way to connect with my fellow fans and more a "content creator" whose human side is separate from my creation and never the twain shall meet.

(And I'll admit it feels especially galling to be forced into the capitalistic "content creator" box when it's not even a thing I can make money off of, lmao. It's like the worst of both worlds. I feel like if I can't make money off fanfic, I should at least be exempt from capitalistic social trends during its creation.)

I'm not so much complaining about my current fandom; WWDITS has actually been one of the best fandoms for interaction I've been in since the birth of AO3. That's one of the reasons I keep writing stories for fellow fans to read -- many of those fans feel like my friends, and I want to make them happy.

I think that poster was right when they talked about how the pivot from fan to "content creator" has fucked up fandom. There is this sense that we should be treating fandom like a job, often a fast-paced one with no pay. There is this idea that we should be separated from our "content" like you might a worker from their product, and blah blah blah alienation of labor, Marx, I get it, but damn if that isn't a shitty thing to do to your fellow fans who are making art for the love of art.

There are so many things I do love about AO3. I like having a central, organized place to put my fic. I like not having to worry about my work being lost to the ages. I like having an organized comments section I can return to on bad days to cheer myself up.

But I don't like the way that fic has kind of been relegated to a portion of fandom where people aren't particularly social. I don't like the way that authors are separated from their writing. I hear people complain sometimes about A/Ns because god forbid an author leave any trace of their actual personality to distract you from their content.

I can't have DMs with someone on AO3. I can't add someone to my friends list. There are no "beloved mutuals." There is just my work and the people who are kind enough to comment on it, even if they never actually engage with me elsewhere.

It's... a weird feeling, to feel so loved and unloved at the same time. Like you keep writing trying to make something good enough that people will talk to you but like. That's really not how it works. lmao. The best fic in the world won't make you friends anymore. It won't make people see you as a fellow fan rather than a pen name under a title.

My fic is some of the most personal stuff in the entire world, but my personhood is stripped away from it. It's so fucking weird. People like my fic, but they don't like me. They remember my stories but not the person who told them. It's bizarre. It feels like having your life and experiences strip-mined for content, and then the rest of it is just... left behind.

Frankly... I work in the publishing industry IRL and I have had opportunities to write professionally. Real, tangible opportunities. But I turned them down because I've seen it, the way that trying to fit such an intensely personal art form into a capitalistic framework can be exhausting, dehumanizing, and stressful. I don't want that for my work. Fandom has always been an escape from that.

But now fandom is starting to conform to those exact same capitalistic frameworks (and ofc without any kind of capitalistic compensation) and I hate to see it. It's so stressful. I feel like we're losing a lot of what makes fandom fun for writers and we're getting pretty much nothing in return. I'm not surprised that so many writer friends I know in fandom have quit.

like damn, I just wanna have fun with a bunch of dumbshits who love to overanalyze vampires and cry over their dumbshit shenanigans, not take on a second job. one that, I reiterate, I am not being paid for.

(Note: I am not asking for payment, just that I not be treated like a worker. The tradeoff for treating someone like a worker is that they get compensated for it. If I'm not being compensated, no one gets to treat me like this is my fucking job.)

It's a weird thing, because for a lot of people, fandom has become their job. Fanartists at cons selling fanart, youtube essayists making money off videos, professional cosplayers with sponsorships, etc. And so fandom is becoming more corporate, more capitalistic, more marketable. It's frustrating for those who don't want to capitalize on our fannish output, and doubly frustrating for people who are legally unable to do so.

I'm realizing as I write this that I'm most upset about the nonconsensual capitalization of fandom, particularly when imposed on people who are unable to access the very meager benefits of capitalism. I didn't ask for any of this!

Feels like when I'd be forced to go to assemblies for the US military when I was in high school. Like I'm morally opposed to all this but I'm also not physically fit for "service" anyway, so it's doubly insulting. I feel like I've been opted into the, ah, corporatization of fandom when I'm not even eligible for employee benefits. None of this should even apply to me! ;;

Okay!! I'm all het up now so I'm gonna go eat lunch and go for a walk! No monetization of hobbies, only trees.

#I need to go look at a tree lmao #just me #vent post #ask to tag idrk

[ashilrak]

20 Questions Writer Meme

I was tagged by @skywalking-through-life! This is super fun omg, thank you!!

1. How many works do you have on ao3?

210!

2. What's your total ao3 word count?

1,670,384 words, which feels insane

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Currently, Percy Jackson! I tend to be pretty one fandom at a time, but in the past I've written for Hamilton, Harry Potter, and Marvel to name a few.

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

Electing Strange Perfections (1,951)

If You Ask Me For My Fire (1,842)

See The Beast You've Made Of Me (1,769)

On Each Other's Team (1,656)

Come Loaded With The Safety Switched Off (1,604)

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

Yes! I'm a huge believe in fandom as a community, and fanfiction as an avenue for that community vs just 'content'. I love answering questions and talking about the fics, and I've honestly made some amazing fandom friends in comments on fics. I think commenting is a really valuable part of community-building in fandom, and I think that replying to comments helps with that :)

6. What's the fic you wrote that has the angstiest ending?

I think this is all a matter of perspective, but I definitely have a few that are regarded as angsty even if I don't necessarily see them that way? Picking one, I might have to say See The Beast You've Made of Me.

7. What's the fic you wrote that has the happiest ending?

This is harder to answer lol, a lot of my happier fics are more moments, rather than a having an ending with build-up. But, Love Has A Way To Find Ya (Sneaks Up Right Behind Ya) is the first one that comes to mind!

8. Do you get hate on fics?

I have actually been very fortunate in this regard! I've had a few negative comments for sure, but most are more along the lines of "stopping reading here" or just poorly worded. I have several fics I've been more worried about, but locking the fics has seemed to discourage anyone who wants to be senselessly cruel! A lot of what I write isn't to everyone's taste, so some less than perfect comments come with that territory.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

I absolutely have lmao. I haven't been in the mood for it recently, but I have my fair share. As for what kind, it depends on the ship and dynamic, and how seriously I'm treating it lol. I've written daddy kink to casual pegging to sweet losses of virginity.

10. Do you write crossovers?

Not really? I have a few ideas that have broached crossover territory, but I don't make a habit or it!

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Yes, though not recently. I'm sure there's a lot more out there in all honesty, but I've only stumbled across it once or twice on random websites when I've had the thought to google my username.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Yes! I've been fortunate to have a couple translated, and it's always the most amazing feeling ever.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Yes, I've co-written quite a few! I've done round-robins as well as more formal collabs where both authors are working together and writing together throughout the process. I really enjoy doing them and have written some of my favorite fics with others! They're definitely challenging, but I think I have the benefit of being pretty adaptable.

14. What's your all-time favorite ship?

So one thing you need to know about me is that I'm really bad at favorites. I think my favorite canon ship amongst my fandoms would be Percabeth, but my favorite ship for reading fanfiction for would, historically, be Tomarry/Harrymort/whatever you want to call it.

15. What's a wip you want to finish, but don't think you ever will?

I am actively determined to finish the ones first coming to mind, but honestly the one I doubt I'll ever do anything with is the AU lovingly referred to as Percy French Whore lmfao

16. What are your writing strengths?

I think my adaptability is my greatest strength. I definitely have themes and patterns I fall into, but overall I try to keep an open-mind to ships, aus, and more. I've gone back and forth between past and present tense, I've written over 25 ships for PJO alone. There's very little I look at and think I can't write, even if it takes some time to come around to it/make it work for me.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

I think my biggest weaknesses have to do with managing a story as a whole. I have these grand ideas, but I struggle to bring them to Completeness. I'll have dreams of showing a realistic development of a character from the one we know and love to something twisted and taken advantage of and miss a few beats, and drop a few characters and plot points along the way. I'm also not the best at worldbuilding. I'm a pretty low-context type of person, and it's highlighted in a fanfction type of environment. I'll get questions about worldbuilding in fics--and they'll be GOOD questions--and I'll sit there with my head tilted at the screen wondering why anyone would think of that 😭

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

I like the idea of it, but would definitely need help from a native speaker. I got overly confident with my high school Spanish classes and made an attempt and I will never be doing that again.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Twilight. First fandom I read for, first fandom I posted for. Twilight was how I discovered fanfiction.net and started me down this path.

20. Favorite fic you've written?

This is almost impossible to answer just because there are so many factors at play, but the first two (very, very different fics) coming to mind are both collabs: HAUNT ME, THEN— with @mrthology and The Murder Monologues with @theinevitablesense

I tag @sappho-of-space 💛

#20 Questions Writer Meme #Tag Game #Text #bet you didn't expect the murder monologues #is it a hamilton fic #mayhaps #but i stand by it #who doesn't love a murder rom com #even if it feels like we drew the ship out of a hat

[squeakintothevoid]

I decided to stop lurking and actually post my thoughts somewhere because of my man Larry here, who shared his reaction to "The Sound of Silence" covered by Disturbed. I've listened to the original by Simon & Garfunkel before but didn't pay much attention to the words. I mean, it's just that memed depression song, right?

What folly! I have failed ye, Simon & Garfunkel! But Disturbed's video made me pay attention to the obvious message:

“This is a song about the inability of people to communicate with each other"

—Art Garfunkel

Okay, I get the point. Now, if I may, I will disturb the sound of silence (ha) to share my own thoughts while I was listening to the song:

[Verse 1] Hello darkness, my old friend I've come to talk with you again Because a vision softly creeping Left its seeds while I was sleeping And the vision that was planted in my brain Still remains within the sound of silence

Let me give you some context about my life. I have social anxiety. Or did, I might not meet the criteria anymore. But woah boy, did I have social anxiety. I mean, sometimes I'd try to speak and simply could not make a sound. That's how paralyzing my fear of speaking was. I know now that this fear came from being either A) ridiculed or B) ignored whenever I spoke to my parents plus a heaping of religious trauma. Growing up, I'd hear teachers or friends say it's okay, just say what you want, be yourself. Sure, whatever. *eyeroll* I don't even have anything to say and if I did, why would I risk telling anyone? But that positive messaging still seeped in my brain somehow where it remained dormant.

[Verse 2] In restless dreams, I walked alone Narrow streets of cobblestone 'Neath the halo of a street lamp I turned my collar to the cold and damp When my eyes were stabbed by the flash of a neon light That split the night, and touched the sound of silence

Of course, I still had thoughts and emotions to say even though I kept them inside. At age 10, I considered myself like a wise sage, only speaking when necessary, but really I was emotionally stunted and always afraid. I slowly learned how to socialize though, but real progress was made when I started gaining confidence and trust in myself. Mainly because of movies and music, hence the title of my blog.

More context about me: I was raised Mormon (Latter-day saint). So like, in a cult. Or a "high-demand religion" if "cult" is too much of a buzzword for ya. Anyway, I ended up attending BYU, a Mormon college that will kick you out for not conforming to their strict "honor" code. I was understandably depressed while I was there. Except I didn't understand why at the time.

Then my eyes were stabbed by the neon light of Freddie Mercury.

For real though, Queen, among other artists, helped me see that I felt stuck, and that the next step on my hero's journey was to break free from Mormonism and my parent's expectations (and somehow not get expelled and homeless at the same time). To have confidence in myself and keep myself alive.

[Verse 3] And in the naked light I saw Ten thousand people, maybe more People talking without speaking People hearing without listening People writing songs that voices never shared And no one dared disturb the sound of silence

So now I was aware of how sinister and blatantly false Mormonism was. In a university full of devout followers that will tattle on you. Followers only talking about what they're allowed to talk about, and anyone who stands out is shut down. Everything seemed so platitudinous and hateful now. Man, I wasn't ever thinking for myself before, was I? I knew there were other people at BYU in my situation, because they said so on reddit, but I didn't dare make my thoughts known to anyone in person.

[Verse 4] "Fools," said I, "You do not know Silence like a cancer grows Hear my words that I might teach you Take my arms that I might reach you" But my words, like silent raindrops, fell And echoed in the wells of silence

Simon speaks like a prophet. In Mormonism, you have a prophet that claims to be speaking the words of God. So like, you gotta listen to him or go to hell. Actually, Mormons don't really have the same idea of hell as mainstream Christianity, but you definitely won't get into the special VIP top level of heaven if you don't shut up and obey the prophet with exactness. Prophets give you commandments. Prophets tell you to give all your time, talents, and money to the LDS church. (Although they only enforce giving 10% of your income.)

But Simon isn't really speaking to tell you what to do and not do. He, like most artists, is trying to reach out to you. To emotionally express himself and encourage others to do the same. It's a refreshing idea of what a prophet could be. He's calling us fools not because we are sinners, but because he wants to share what he has learned. His writing isn't to make a cash grab. But catchy music that can be echoed in the background tends to get the best sales.

[Verse 5] And the people bowed and prayed To the neon god they made And the sign flashed out its warning In the words that it was forming And the sign said, "The words of the prophets are written on the subway walls and tenement halls And whispered in the sound of silence"

Most people see the "neon god" line as a critique of consumerism, and I wouldn't disagree. It's sad that television and music in many ways raised me better than my parents, that the religious texts that promised me spiritual awakening didn't have shit on Freddie's whimsical ballads. But these "neon signs" are what saved me.

Following fandoms, lurking on tumblr, sending superwholock memes to my friends, watching stupid youtube crack videos, staying up late just vibing to the music I had. These are my prophets. It's sharing all these little pop culture things that culminated in me finally realizing that I'm alright as I am, even with my cringe hyperfixations. That maybe I can slowly learn how to speak my truth and say with a newfound sense of confidence that I do want extra ketchup. Or that I'm rejecting my parent's one true religion.

It's all good now, I never got expelled nor disowned as I feared, but I'm still healing from things. I can't say I'm a beacon of self-confidence either (right now, I'm worried this whole post is too long and pretentious). So if you took the time to read this, thanks! I know tumblr can be a hellscape of a site but I appreciate y'all. It's our little ramblings that get us through the day when we feel like nobody understands us. Here's to the whispers in the tenement halls!

Yes, I did shoehorn a spn gif in my first tumblr post, what are ya gonna do about it?

#sound of silence #the sound of silence #disturbed #simon & garfunkel #simon and garfunkel #freddie mercury #queen band #song lyrics #song reaction #song interpretation #lyrics #lyric analysis #music analysis #exmormon #what it means to me #music is therapy #ex mormon #exlds #exmo #deconstruction #religious trauma

[eoinmcgonigal]

So I saw a post about tumblr wanting to try this 'communities' thing, and I just gotta vent/say my piece. (the tl;dr is 'fuck that shit')

1. I really hate the current trend of fracturing and fragmenting things down into little pieces so they can be categorised into boxes. That's not natural. (Also, discord pushing threads, which I already detest for 1) making me feel like I'm gonna hurl from the violently dissonant, ugly layout, 2) the severely narrow topic problem, and 3) how neurodiverse-hostile they are.)

Like, naturally conversations meander. If you're only allowed to discuss one topic, it's gonna be stifling. You WILL run out of things to say. Making another little box isn't going to fix it, it'll just add to the clutter

2. Quite importantly, honestly, just stop fucking changing shit. It's unnecessary

3. It's not going to be neurodiverse-friendly. As if fandom hasn't changed enough to become increasingly unfriendly to people who are just here to enjoy their hyperfixation and/or special interest. I don't need another thing to learn to navigate. I don't need another place with different rules to carefully traverse. Yes, I'm fandom old and salty. I'm AuDHD and a spoonie with about half a spoon to spend on a good day. I do not have the energy to do all this switching about and jumping from thing to thing. It's exhausting. I want everything where I can find it, and where I can be passionate without having to perform tasks like it's some customer service job, or job interview

4. FOMO shit is toxic. This whole 'be a part of the thing!' necessity if you want to 'engage' or see the conversations and 'content'. Why? I guess it's a social media model that drives engagement, but the stress of it is going to fuck people up. What if you don't have the time, energy, health, spoons, social skills, etc? I have no idea how much interacting will be expected with other people in the 'community' but I can see it becoming a twitter-like circlejerk, and if you're not one of the 'in' crowd doing your required interaction/reblogging/commenting then you might as well not exist to that fandom/group

5. From the description, it looks like these things will be ripe for drama, toxicity, clique shit, becoming echo chambers, etc. because 'semi public' means you gotta opt in/join in some way and whatever's said isn't visible to any old user

Like, who is going to create and mod these things? Who decides what the rules are? What if your fave is 'problematic', or your kink is 'gross' (if nsfw is allowed at all), your take doesn't fit with fanon, or you are just a bit weird and people shun or turn on you for that?

I hope I'm wrong and either these things never happen or they're not as bad as I fear, but fuck sakes I have the above worries because it's shit I've seen happen time and time again, and I don't want to see given a place here

Also, genuinely, what the fuck is tumblr going to be like if you can't/don't want interact with these community things?

Quickly, 6. it creates an 'us' (in crowd) vs. 'them' (not part of our gang)

And then 7. who is going to be dominant in these 'communities'?

Yes, I'm upset right now, because tumblr was just fine (well, fine enough) until this point. I mean:

We have the ability to make sideblogs! (My Star Wars sideblog from... well a decade ago oops... is still out there, I don't touch it any more but I left it up for people to go through). Tumblr even made it so we can reply with sideblogs, which was a very neat update.

Tags!! I don't think it's as usual these days for people to go through tags to find new content, but that's how I do it, how I've always done it, and how I always intend to do it. I'm not following everyone who makes an SAS:RH post. I love you guys, but no. My dash would cause me to have a panic attack. It's already too much for me most days.

EFFORT!!!! I can be here every day full-time doing Stuff if I want! Or I can zone out for weeks if I want/need, materialise and contribute a silly meme, then drift off into the sunset again. If I 'miss' anything, I can go back through the tags, or scroll someone's blog. But honestly, who notices/cares on here if someone lurks or goes afk for a bit. It's super low pressure, because I'm doing what I can/want when I can/want

I want to opt in/out on my own time and terms. The thought of having to be part of a 'community' so I can see/not miss Content TM is freaking me out. I don't want there to be an 'appropriate' time window to interact with things like there is on other social media sites.

So, idk how the shit will look, but I don't agree with making things harder for people to access/find. I won't be posting stuff 'semi-privately'.

And you know what's super upsetting? The thought that I won't be able to see conversations and creations for things I love, because they're hidden away behind some complex new social thing I can't navigate. (Which is already an off-putting, ostracising problem on discord.) That's not how fandom communities should be.

The thought of there being less stuff 'out there' because it's in some 'community' somewhere... really not the direction I'd ever hope this site wold go in

I'm fuckin exhausted. Just lemme do my fandom whateverness without having to perform to some arbritary social interaction standard/requirements that I neither understand nor can do

#i want to murder discord threads because this feels like similar bullshit that's just gonna exclude people #JUST PUT SHIT WHERE PEOPLE CAN ACCESS IT EASILY #aim to be as inclusive as possible with as wide an audience and engagement as possible! #why is that so damn fucking hard? #also lol how long until they'd turn communities into a subscription thing or something #they keep changing shit and the newer people to things like discord and tumblr and fandom in general have no idea what it was like before #things have not always been this bad! #they were bad in other ways but nothing as exhausting as this social-media-model bullshit #yes i'm very fucked up over discord's update #i detest threads with a violent passion there's no fucking need to separate everything out until nothing is left in the channel #i can't even turn the ugly icon off in servers i own #i miss irc #i miss forums #i didn't like lj that much but goddamn #i miss pre-jumbled-up-tags tumblr #i miss pre-threads discord #we do not fucking need this change but it's being shoved down our throats because investors want to see new shit #i'm off to see if i can fix discord so i don't nearly throw up when i open it #the horrible thing is that it looks faintly passable in light mode but i can't read in light mode and you get light or dark and nothing els #personal #vent #just in case anyone hides those tags idk this has been a vent post #i'll go back to rogues soon

[idkanymorefandom]

Here's some things I have to say about the ending of Handplates 🤚SPOILER WARNING! Also this is the end of my HP retrospective and its also not a final draft but I just wanted to share! I love everyone in the undertale/handplates community and I love seeing all this art, edits, cosplay, memes, and fanfics! I know that just because HP ended that all of those things won't go away. Thank you everyone letting me be apart of this community and that you Zarla for creating it.

We’ve had some hints of seeing Zarla’s persona before, especially when we saw Frisk, Gaster and Sans could see them being controlled by Zarla herself. Zarla always mentions how personal Handplates is to her, and how connected the comic is to her experience with playing Undertale. Like how she uses the older version of the game where you have to manually change files to find Gaster and other goner people as a plot point in Handplates. But in the episode “So many others”, we actually get a full fourth wall break and a visual of Zarla drowning in a sea of sorrows but then she reaches for a rope, a rope that turns into a pen. Then we actually get to see Zarla drawing the first episode of Handplates.  Zarla says this to that same episode “I started Handplates during a really difficult time in my life... no matter what happened, no matter how much things felt like they were falling apart around me or I was going to lose my mind or it all was just too much to bear, there’d always be another Handplates comic to do.” This episode nearly made me cry but not just because of the thought that Handplates is going to end. But because I truly have an understanding of being drowned in sadness. Sometimes I feel like I can’t escape. Near the end of my highschool year  and near the end of a friendship, I was in the middle of doing a play. During this is when I started talking to a guy. That guy would see me cry backstage more than once. Things were really hard and I really don't know what I would do if he wasn't in my life right now. I am thankful for all the support I have, especially in my family. 

Someone noted that it's interesting how the ending is more about the reader than Sans and Papyrus. The story has always been about them and yes it is but I also see it this way. Sans and Papyrus are happy and have had their stories told and completed, we've come full circle. So I actually like the story turning out this way, it's definitely not what anyone would have expected. 

The very last episode. The main points of this episode is that Gaster finishes his conversation with Frisk, he ends it with “We can all make choices.” Frisk leaves and it starts to rain. This is the first time Gaster has seen rain in a long time. A raindrop lands on a flower and we see a hint of yellow.

This was the last piece of the puzzle. As I said, the story has been all about Sans and Papyrus getting their happy ending, I think we actually got that a long time ago when Sans and Papyrus got adjusted to their house. And now we have Gaster’s happy ending. Frisk is just a representation of the readers, they are leaving because it's time to go, it's time to end. 

Handplates is a comic that is all about choices. Every single character has choices that they need to make. For Gaster, other choices were right there, free, no one stopping him from choosing them but yet he decided to choose the bad option. People try to better him but he chooses not to listen. He blocks everything out. But remember, that is what Undertale is all about, is you as a player of the game, making decisions, the game's ending relies  on you and the choices you make. Everything is about making choices.

#handplates

[inperspecter]

Please Stop Posting Gore

Holy crap please don't post gore on your blogs even if you tag it!

It's literally against the community guidelines so your blog is eventually going to be terminated at some point if you're posting it and then you'll get even more upset.

I've come across a couple blogs today that have had cute animal pictures and funny memes and then some spontaneous uncensored picture of someone carving themselves up like a Christmas ham Tokyo drifts across my dash out of nowhere from that blog.

There is no tragic beauty to self harm, it is a severe sickness that needs treatment and there's no shame in getting that treatment and some people aren't ready to hear that yet but it's true.

I know the holidays are hard, I know life is hard but please get counseling, please see a psychiatrist, please go for a walk outside, please stop indulging in that kind of content! If you do, do not interact with me or my blogs, ever. I will block you on sight, I don't care how much trauma you have. I want you to get better but I'm just a wall of text on the internet.

I'm (probably) not your friend.

It's not good for people to see (especially the younger folks) and it's not good for you. Please don't hurt yourself and please get some professional help. The only way to make life stop being hard is to take personal accountability and do the hard work yourself to make it better.

"An object in motion tends to stay in motion, an object at rest tends to stay at rest", right? How many times have people heard that one? It's true.

Even if you're poor there are programs that can help you get the help you need- I've personally been in a similar situation but coping isn't going to make anything better. You need to realize that nobody is coming to save you.

You have to take the initiative to do that on your own. Everything is a choice, including refusing to make one- and if you decide to do that then the only person you're a victim of is yourself and the only thing you're a victim of is your own inaction.

There will always be bad times just like there will always be good but you have to decide which one you want more of. You need to always prioritize yourself and your well being above literally everyone else.

There's nothing narcissistic or conceited about taking care of (all) of your health no matter who's told you otherwise.

Nobody is 'the reason' or 'made you kill yourself'. You're being extremely toxic, immature, emotionally abusive, unfair and manipulative if you ever try to blame someone else for your own impulsive and very permanent decision. Trying to transfer your abuse/trauma is not going to make it any better and it's only going to make things worse.

There are a lot more good people in the world than bad, I promise! You can totally choose to be a part of the good no matter your current or former circumstances. Even 'nothing' can become something with effort and elbow grease. You're not nothing, I'm just saying even if you came from nothing you can absolutely make something of yourself because you're your own person.

It's not going to be easy but it is going to be worth it one day.

Don't let whoever abused you in the past haunt you, don't let them win or take any more from you than they already have. They can't hurt or control you anymore if you've already managed to get away, do not go back. You're the one in control now, and if they formerly abused you they're gonna do it again. Don't give them any 'second' (or third, or fourth) chances, you will probably end up literally dead.

Yes, it's uncomfortable and it's going to seem scary but it's not as scary as being dead. There is literally nothing more permanent than that and I promise there are (many) good people that would miss you and it would break their hearts to see you hurt or kill yourself because they love you, you matter to them and there will never be another person that can replace you.

You're limited edition, dude.

Good luck and get well soon,

-Pidge

#life advice #mental health #Tumblr #text post #txt post #self harm mention #gore mention #suicide mention #suicidal thoughts #suicidal ideation #tw #trigger warning #trigger #DNI #abuse survivor #long post #inperspecter

[seriously-mike]

What Will Destroy AI Image Generation In Two Years?

You are probably deluding yourself that the answer is some miraculous program that will "stop your art from being stolen" or "destroy the plagiarism engines from within". Well...

NOPE.

I can call such an idea stupid, imbecilic, delusional, ignorant, coprolithically idiotic and/or Plain Fucking Dumb. The thing that will destroy image generation, or more precisely, get the generators shut down is simple and really fucking obvious: it's lack of interest.

Tell me: how many articles about "AI art" have you seen in the media in the last two to three months? How many of them actually hyped the thing and weren't covering lawsuits against Midjourney, OpenAI/Microsoft and/or Stability AI? My guess is zilch. Zero. Fuckin' nada. If anything, people are tired of lame, half-assed if not outright insulting pictures posted by the dozen. The hype is dead. Not even the morons from the corner office are buying it. The magical machine that could replace highly-paid artists doesn't exist, and some desperate hucksters are trying to flog topically relevant AI-generated shots on stock image sites at rock-bottom prices in order to wring any money from prospective suckers. This leads us to another thing.

Centralized Models Will Keel Over First

Yes, Midjourney and DALL-E 3 will be seriously hurt by the lack of attention. Come on, rub those two brain cells together: those things are blackboxed, centralized, running on powerful and very expensive hardware that cost a lot to put together and costs a lot to keep running. Sure, Microsoft has a version of DALL-E 3 publicly accessible for free, but the intent is to bilk the schmucks for $20 monthly and sell them access to GPT-4 as well... well, until it turned out that GPT-4 attracts more schmucks than the servers can handle, so there's a waiting list for that one.

Midjourney costs half that, but it doesn't have the additional draw of having an overengineered chatbot still generating a lot of hype itself. That and MJ interface itself is coprolithically idiotic as well - it relies on a third-party program to communicate with the user, as if that even makes sense. Also, despite the improvements, there are still things that Midjourney is just incapable of, as opposed to DALL-E 3 or SDXL. For example, legible text. So right now, they're stuck with storage costs for the sheer number of half-assed images people generated over the last year or so and haven't deleted.

The recent popularity of "Disney memes" made using DALL-E 3 proved that Midjourney is going out of fashion, which should make you happy, and drew the ire of Disney, what with the "brand tarnishing" and everything, which should make you happier. So the schmucks are coming in, but they're not paying and pissing the House of Mouse off. This means what? Yes, costs. With nothing to show for it. Runtime, storage space, the works, and nobody's paying for the privilege of using the tech.

Pissing On The Candle While The House Burns

Yep, that's what you're doing by cheering for bullshit programs like Glaze and Nightshade. Time to dust off both of your brain cells and rub them together, because I have a riddle for you:

An open-source, client-side, decentralized image generator is targeted by software intended to disrupt it. Who profits?

The answer is: the competition. Congratulations, you chucklefucks. Even if those programs aren't a deniable hatchet job funded by Midjourney, Microsoft or Adobe, they indirectly help those corporations. As of now, nobody can prove that either Glaze or Nightshade actually work against the training algorithms of Midjourney and DALL-E 3, which are - surprise surprise! - classified, proprietary, blackboxed and not available to the fucking public, "data scientists" among them. And if they did work, you'd witness a massive gavel brought down on the whole project, DMCA and similar corporation-protecting copygrift bullshit like accusations of reverse-engineering classified and proprietary software included. Just SLAM! and no Glaze, no Nightshade, no nothing. Keep the lawsuit going until the "data scientists" go broke or give up.

Yep, keep rubbing those brain cells together, I'm not done yet. Stable Diffusion can be run on your own computer, without internet access, as long as you have a data model. You don't need a data center, you don't need a server stack with industrial crypto mining hardware installed, a four-year-old gaming computer will do. You don't pay any fees either. And that's what the corporations who have to pay for their permanently besieged high-cost hardware don't like.

And the data models? You can download them for free. Even if the publicly available websites hosting them go under for some reason, you'll probably be able to torrent them or download them from Mega. You don't need to pay for that either, much to the corporations' dismay.

Also, in case you didn't notice, there's one more problem with the generators scraping everything off the Internet willy-nilly:

AI Is Eating Its Own Shit

You probably heard about "data pollution", or the data models coming apart because if they're even partially trained on previously AI-generated images, the background noise they were created from is fucking with the internal workings of the image generators. This is also true of text models, as someone already noticed by having two instances of ChatGPT talk to each other, they devolve into incomprehensible babble. Of course that incident was first met with FUD on one side and joy on the other, because "OMG AI created their own language!" - nope, dementia. Same goes for already-generated images used to train new models: the semantic segmentation subroutines see stuff that is not recognized by humans and even when inspected and having the description supposedly corrected, that noise gets in the way and fucks up the outcome. See? No need to throw another spanner into the machine, because AI does that fine all by itself (as long as it's run by complete morons).

But wait, there's another argument why those bullshit programs are pointless:

They Already Stole Everything

Do you really think someone's gonna steal your new mediocre drawing of a furry gang bang that you probably traced from vintage porno mag scans? They won't, and they don't need to.

For the last several months, even the basement nerds that keep Stable Diffusion going are merely crossbreeding the old data models, because it's faster. How much data are Midjourney and OpenAI sitting on? I don't exactly know, but my very scientific guess is, a shitload, and they nicked it all a year or two ago anyway.

The amount of raw data means jack shit in relation to how well the generator works. Hell, if you saw the monstrosities spewed forth by StabilityAI LAION default models for Stable Diffusion, that's the best proof: basement nerds had to cut down on the amount of data included in their models, sort the images, edit the automatically generated descriptions to be more precise and/or correct in the first place and introduce some stylistic coherence so the whole thing doesn't go off the rails.

And that doesn't change the fact that the development methodology behind the whole thing, proprietary or open-source, is still "make a large enough hammer". It's brute force and will be until it stops being financially viable. When will it stop being financially viable? When people get bored of getting the same kind of repetitive pedestrian shit over and over. And that means soon. Get real for a moment: the data models contain da Vinci, Rembrandt, van Gogh, and that means jack shit. Any concept you ask for will be technically correct at best, but hardly coherent or well thought-out. You'll get pablum. Sanitized if you're using the centralized corporate models, maybe a little more horny if you're running Stable Diffusion with something trained on porn. But whatever falls out of the machine can't compete with art, for reasons.

#mike's musings #Midjourney #DALLE3 #stable diffusion #Nightshade #Glaze #ai art #ai art generation #ai image generation #Nightshade doesn't protect your art #Nightshade protects corporate interests #long reads #long post #TLDR #LONGPOST IS LOOONG

[ryttu3k]

for the ship game:

beckett/sascha

mina/jonathan

nines/lacroix

vykos/holzmann (aka Double Sascha)

[ship it or don't ship it meme]

Well that's a solid 'ship it' for all four. Let's go through 'em!

Beckett/Sascha

What made you ship it?

Literally, this exact passage.

Like yes okay funny haha 'hate fuck it out' and all but this passage is the bit that made me go, "Oh. They're parallels."

What are your favourite things about the ship?

They work so well together. Not just as a character dynamic, but in-universe. Once they stop trying to murder each other, they just click, and Drowning of Rasputin showcases that beautifully. They have shared passions but different approaches that coordinate extremely well, where Sascha gets Beckett to maybe act a little more analytically and Beckett gets Sascha to, um, not turn people inside out.

Is there an unpopular opinion you have on your ship?

Super not a fan of the like... pre-Dracon-extraction stuff where it's still extremely unhealthy, like I have seen some ship content that was still very much 'enemies' and not so much 'enemies to lovers'. Like I feel Beckett saw enough in Dracon!Sascha to save their unlife in Constantinople, but I can't see an actual relationship starting until they get through that.

Mina/Jonathan

What made you ship it?

Jonathan went from "I should get this recipe for Mina! :D" to "I would condemn myself to hell for Mina". Mina went from "My fiance wrote to me *dokis*" to "My husband is a goddamn beast *eyes emoji*". They protect each other, they look after each other, and they complement each other. They both have this really cool dichotomy of being both Very Victorian and also Very GNC And Also Sometimes Feral. They're both fantastic characters in how they're written and fantastic people in that I would 100% love to be friends with them. And they love each other and are devoted to each other with the force of a thousand suns and it'd be exceedingly hard not to super love both characters and also not come out of it loving their relationship, too.

tl;dr I took one look at how in love these dorks were and decided I was in love with their love.

What are your favourite things about the ship?

Oh, uh, I think I covered that above tbh XD

Is there an unpopular opinion you have on your ship?

Don't think so! They're not a main ship so I'm not as hooked in to the fandom, though, so I'm not 100% sure what the unpopular opinions are.

Nines/LaCroix

What made you ship it?

Played Bloodlines. Nines was my favourite, LaCroix managed to worm his way into problematic favourite. Peered with interest at some fics on AO3 and realised I had promptly lost my mind and read basically everything on there and then I was just in way too deep.

IIRC it was We Don't Have To Like Each Other To Survive This by @iravaid that made me go, "Fuck it, I ship it."

What are your favourite things about the ship?

They're absolutely brilliant foils. Camarilla Ventrue Prince vs Anarch Brujah street prince. LaCroix has authority on paper but no respect. He's Prince of the city and he's so alone up there in his tower. Nines doesn't want on-paper authority, and so rejects the title of Baron. He wants to be a part of the community, and for the most part, he absolutely is. He has, quite naturally, the respect that LaCroix wants, just not the on-paper power to enact his desires. They each want or need what the other has. If they worked together? Damn, LA's enemies wouldn't stand a goddamn chance.

Ira has a really good post on how they work as foils here.

Is there an unpopular opinion you have on your ship?

Mmm not a fan of the non-consensual stuff but that's a disclaimer I have to give for any enemies-to-lovers ship, really XD;;

Vykos/Holzmann

Context: Sascha Holzmann is an OC based on a single sentence in Transylvania Chronicles II of Myca renaming themself after a fallen comrade who died fighting the Camarilla. You can read the bio I wrote for him here; the line from TCII is:

What made you ship it?

That little line from TCII. Myca is a walking clusterfuck of identity issues at that point. For them to take their entire name from someone means they must have been incredibly special to them, and that... stands out a lot. A lot of people must have died in that time. What makes this guy special?

What are your favourite things about the ship?

Rambled a fair bit on how I see them together in the bio/write-up linked above. With the caveat that lmao this is 100% a canon/OC ship... mostly it's the quiet support Sascha gives Myca? Myca has been Dracon!Myca for two and a half centuries at this point and I feel they no longer had much of a sense of identity of their own, and Sascha gave them the space to just... exist for a bit. No prying, no trying to Work Things Through, just being there.

Add on his values and what he stood for, wanting that freedom from manipulation, and I can see Myca seeing Sascha as... almost as an ideal? Someone who is free, who can act on their passions and values, who can advocate for themself as an individual, something Myca feels is no longer possible (based on @solivar's line in this phenomenal write-up: "I could not even pretend to be a self-willed child of Desire when my will was manifestly not nor could it ever again wholly be my own.") So the relationship they have, and taking his name afterwards, is a gesture of, "I'm intentionally and deliberately going to take his name as a way to represent his values, because those are values I want and need for myself."

I don't know, it's just a really interesting little tidbit from TCII that could spawn a whole lot of interesting stuff. The original Sascha had to have been so significant to Myca if they took his name, y'know?

Is there an unpopular opinion you have on your ship?

lmao no because I made it up entirely.

#vampire the masquerade #dracula #feral nerd #mx meat crimes #caymanshipping #oc: og sascha #street prince #sparklingwater #closershipping

[myriadxofxmuses]

Tagged by: @heartxshaped-bruises (😁)

Tagging: @thanaredreamtof , @uncxntrxllable , @lunarruled , @twdgdeadmanwalking , @lostxones , @interxstitial , @waveofstars , @blindspct , @bcrntortured , @fangsandmagic , @crowns-and-claws

Get to know the mun

NAME? Mo Mo

PRONOUNS? ///

PREFERENCE OF COMMUNICATION? Tumblr Messenger, Discord, or my other socials if I've given them to you.

MOST ACTIVE MUSE? It honestly fluctuates. If I'm not writing a muse, then chances are I have little to no muse for them (even though they remain active. Without writing partners they fall to the wayside.) But I do enjoy writing Ethan and Gage.

EXPERIENCE / HOW MANY YEARS? Five years. All on here and Discord.

BEST EXPERIENCE? Definitely the friends I've made on here.

RP PET PEEVES? When a blog boasts that its all about communication, but then they don't follow what they preach. I don't expect lighting fast answers or conversations to be daily, but every once in awhile is fair to know they're still interested and/or around. Especailly if there is an issue with the writing, plot, ooc, etc.

Also when there is no interaction with posts. I don't mean rebloggin memes or aesthetic posts, but starters, answers, and the like. It sucks when a potential writing partner and I are plotting, everything is going great, the starter gets put out or replied to, and then poof. Nothing. Not even a like to know they got it. I enjoy writing and it is just a hobby, but I do put a decent amount of effort into what I write. I like it to be enjoyable for both and try very hard to make it feel like you're in the story as we write it. To be ghosted after getting excited to play things out sucks. I would much rather prefer a message or even comment that you're just not inot it anymore than to be left hoping.

FLUFF, ANGST OR SMUT? Angst and fluff. Hundred percent. And smut is a hard no for me.

PLOTS OR MEMES? Either or. Although I'm a big 'get the general idea and starting point, then wing it' plotter. Too much plotting and it sort of ruins the possibilities for me.

LONG OR SHORT REPLIES? Mostly long. I can't help it. Once I start writing, I don't stop until I feel like its finished and at a good point for my partner to continue. But I'm not opposed to a couple paragraphs here and there.

TIME TO WRITE? Whenever I have the time. I have a full time job, three kids, three dogs (one of which is only six months old and still training), and a life to keep up with outside of here. I'm always on the go, so I write when I can get it in. I tend to draft up replies and jump back and forth as the muse strikes until a reply in finished. Very rarely do I have time to just sit at my laptop and write.

ARE YOU LIKE YOUR MUSES? Yes and no. They all have pieces of me in them, and I use real life experience/stories to develop them, but as a general overall we are all very different.

#heartxshaped-bruises #thanaredreamtof #uncxntrxllable #lunarruled #twdgdeadmanwalking #lostxones #interxstitial #waveofstars #blindspct #bcrntortured #fangsandmagic #crowns-and-claws #[the fourth wall of a fourth wall is sixteen walls: ooc]

[iotauri]

A lot of Musicverse lore

Now that I'm back from hiatus, I have a few things to share with you.

First, there are these adorable Uri references from the musicverse, created by my awesome friend Mihli (her twitter is here: https://twitter.com/mihli99).

Second, I can finally tell you a little bit more about her.

Ayana "Uri" Ruri. She's not very good at choosing nicknames, but hey, she doesn't care. Bison thinks she has no imagination, though.

She was a kickboxing star a few years ago and won many awards during her athletic career. However, an unfortunate leg fracture put an end to that career. The doctors literally told her, "One more fracture and you won't be able to walk, so it's time to stop".

Bison is her stepbrother (in case you hadn't guessed, a cat and a cow can't be related by blood). Their parents had a series of failed marriages in general, so Bison and Uri don't know how many more siblings they have. Uri stayed in Bison's family when her mother found a new husband because she decided "screw it, I'll stay with my brother". They are very close and have always supported each other while their parents were more concerned with their personal lives.

Bison's father, who adopted Uri, isn't a bad man all in all…. except that he's still the loser in his relationships. But he also took care of his stepdaughter, so Uri considers her family more than lucky. (unlike her biological mother, who just decided to throw her daughter away when she had the chance)

So, when we're done explaining her family circumstances, let's move on to the fateful broken leg that forced Uri to quit the sport. She really didn't know what to do (I think you know stories like this), she played guitar every day because her EX gave her a guitar when they were able to be friends after the breakup. He made her promise to play every day and try to sing because he liked her voice, and Uri kept that promise, but she didn't know what to do next. She didn't have a goal.

But one day Bison came out of his room and put a sheet of music under her nose and asked her if she could play it.

Yes, he began to write music for her, hoping that music would be the new meaning of her life.

Step by step, she gained popularity on social media, which her brother ran instead of her. Yes, he really took it seriously and realized that with popularity comes hate. So even now, her social media accounts are managed by her brother, while Uri has a private account where she watches cat memes. He can show her the positive comments and, just in case, has lectured her that one negative comment should not outweigh several dozen positive ones, but he still protects her mental health and takes on the difficult responsibility of communicating with the public.

Finally she joined the newly founded band "ACE", but even this was not an easy way. Firstly, Uri has stage fright (you wouldn't know it because she works on it every damn day) and secondly, she suffers from severe impostor syndrome. She still doesn't consider herself a "real singer", although she can't even explain what a "real singer" is.

Oh, and she's in love with Alune. This is a very difficult situation because Uri hardly acknowledges this fact.

It can be either mutual or one-sided love depending on the circumstances, but Uri has warm feelings for Alune either way.

(Once again, I remind you to check out Mihli's Twitter, where she drew this for me…. and much more)

And this is her merch poster

Bonus: her signature and logo (by Mihli again, I owe her my life, haha…)

#oc #artists on tumblr #digital art #oc art #league of legends oc #lol musicverse #oc lore #lore #character lore #lore dump #backstory

[rgbstatic]

I'm trying to do something, maybe closure for myself or maybe curiosity and it might seem silly but for the last three hours i've deep dived into the depths of tumblr, google, and even the wayback machine.

I'm trying to pinpoint the exact timeline of the evolution of shipping bursonas on tumblr, and trust me I've been lurking the sootbur/sootcest/wilcest tags for ages.

But there are some things where i was not fully present for or happened so behind the scenes that I didn't notice. I started creating content and talking about sootbur with friends in fall of 2021, which is an important period for the history of sootbur on this site.

But, to my knowledge, the earliest posts available on tumblr that I can find come from April 2021 by tumblr user yailea, though there's a small group of ppl who interacted back then so someone else may have had the first post, but basically the first post I can find on any blog on tumblr under any tag related to sootbur/sootcest/wilcest is that one.

Spring of 2021 seems to be the start of shipping any bursonas together. Surprisingly, Phantombur and Ghostbur were one of the most popular ships it seems, evidenced by tumblr user sootcest, with the dsmpburs close behind. It's in this sort of era that the shampoo isle joke happened, that a lot of the memes were created.

The timelines moves into Summer 2021 where posting of sootbur was still common, just slow moving. There were only about 40 fics on ao3 at this time under the Wilbur Soot/Wilbur Soot tag. It's fall that gets interesting.

There's a huge sootbur boom in fall. Fanfictions skyrocket, art is posted, and a bunch of blogs and sideblogs are made specifically for this niche section of the fandom, and things are going well.

Winter hits, and something happens. I've seen some of this go down with my own eyes, I've heard it from others, and you can still see evidence of it in countless abandoned and ghost blogs.

Sootbur was found out by some blogs with larger followings, blogs that deemed it as some gross ship where everyone who was involved in the community were problematic, and there were blogs who would vocally voice distain and let their followers do the rest, or who would say things so often that people stopped making content.

Content stopped almost entirely by January. Anyone who continued making content made secret sideblogs or alts all together that couldn't be traced to main. Some people were scared of being harassed, others straight up just were scared out of the tag. Blogs that stopped posting content would continue to lurk in the tag, to like things, but they stopped reblogging or commenting or making content of their own.

And this is still felt in the community to this day. Ghost blogs, blogs of people where their last posts were just, happy shipping content, making silly jokes. Blogs that deactivated, content lost in its entirety.

It's like looking at a ghost town and it makes me incredibly sad going through the tag. I talked earlier this week about wishing their was more phantombur content in the sootbur tag, only to find that it was quite a big thing in the first days of sootbur, but its lost because the people that made content for it left.

And yes there's naturally people who drifted away, but there is this invisible nuke that left this place a barren wasteland of lurkers and dead blogs and for what? Shipping characters together that aren't problematic in any way?

It's... sad, it's scary, it's a ghost town.

I wish that they were still here and made content and that they could have fun again. I wish someone could tell them that they made memes that still stick around and made content that predicted outcomes of certain things and that stuff changed since they left and more people are making art and talking about it and that its okay now.

I dunno. I'm just trying to find the history on it and its just. Smth bad happened here and I can only find remnants of it. I've found the radiation and the death but I am looking for the metaphorical nuke.

#sootbur #rgb talking #bursblr

[regionalpancake]

🌈 for the fic ask meme!

🌈is there a fic that you worked *really fucking hard on* that no one would ever know? maybe a scene/theme you struggled with?

YES! It was Out of the Game, my entry for last year's Merry Month of Cohen. I was writing for the fest while Season 2 was airing. I really struggled with losing the Motley Crew, as well as making sense of a lot of the character choices. Every week I would try to write something... and every week the canon made me metaphorically crumple my work up and toss it in the bin.

When the Agnes and Borg Queen plot was developing I started writing a fic called Shadows - 'As the Borg Queen seeks control over Agnes, she walks through Agnes’ memories of the last year. Of La Sirena, of found family, and of Rios.' Which I stopped working on when the canon got too sad for me.

Then I started writing Raffi breaking the news to the holos (or at this point holo, singular) that Rios wasn't coming back:

“You’ve looked better.” Raffi startled at the familiar voice, and looked round to catch the last prismatic shiver of a hologram activating. “Emmet?” “Roughly,” The holo shrugged, looking instead at the open crate, at the books, at the mementos, then at Raffi’s sad eyes.

But I couldn't get my head round Seven's canon choice to merge the holos, so that one cos scrapped.

So then I started Night Sky With Exit Wounds, a Seven/Raffi fic where Seven is struggling with the sensory impact of losing her implants:

“Y’know you’re pretty quiet,” Raffi trailed off and followed Seven’s gaze up through the glass of the roof. The night sky glittered in the dark of the French countryside at night.  “The stars look beautiful out here, huh?” “Where, exactly?” Seven’s head moved slowly, eyes scanning the sky above. “You’re kidding me? Right there, y’know those twinkly things,” Raffi wiggled her fingers playfully. There was no response from the xB and Raffi let the gesture fade, “you might have heard of them since you wrote the books on astrometrics.” Seven squinted at the night sky through the glass. Cold points of light burned back. Like light through cheap fabric. Like dead pixels. “That’s just communication satellites.” Seven said, uncertainty creeping into her voice, as she struggled to remember constellations. “They’re not,” The realisation weighed cold and heavy in her chest. “I didn’t even recognise them.”

And then THAT got scrapped, or indefinitely put on the back burner.

Then there was the confrontation with the Borg Queen on La Sirena and I started writing Traveling Light, a fic from Seven's POV while she's bleeding out:

The thing that isn’t Agnes is talking to itself.  It’s voice flitting in and out of bargaining tones. You try to listen closer but blood rushes in your ears instead.

After all those half finished attempts, I finally settled on a theme; Raffi recording a message to Rios, about his choices, that she'll never deliver.

It's a fic I'm proud of, but it took some getting there! Maybe I'll get back to finishing and posting some of the stories I started for that fest. But your ask really reminded me that although I submitted about 1000 for my entry... the behind the scenes word count (and fic count!) was a lot higher!

Ask meme

#thanks for asking! #ask meme #regionalpancakewrites #(or rather regionalpancake thinks about writing) #long post #HOO BOY this was a long one!