magnolia (m.s.) part 3
part 1 part 2
summary: reader has a friends with benefits arrangement with matt (what is there to explain?)
genre: heavy ANGST
word count: 2k
a/n: hi! please read this before pressing 'Keep reading' ~ this story was written years ago, it was for my creative writing and same as all the stories I posted here. I used different inspirations for this, from stories I've read before whether book or online. Again, this is fiction.
It's like the world had gone quiet, and she stood there, engulfed in a silence louder than any words could express. Matt's pleas echoed in the air, his distressed face begging for a response. "I'm so sorry. It was a mistake. It shouldn't have happened," his words pierced through her, yet she felt numb, unable to form a coherent sentence.
"Baby, please say something. I need you to say something," Matt pleaded, his voice echoed in her ears, passing through as if they traversed from one ear to the other.
She remained fixed in place, her mind a whirlwind of confusion and disbelief. What could she possibly say to this revelation? Offer congratulations? As the weight of the situation bore down on her, she grappled with an overwhelming sense of speechlessness, unable to navigate the shattered fragments of their once-shared reality.
Matt stepped closer, reaching out to comfort her, desperate to alleviate the pain, she felt his arms encircle her just before her vision faded to black.
When she regained consciousness, she saw Nick sat beside her, visibly alarmed as she attempted to speak. "Oh my god, thank goodness you're awake," he gasped, gripping her hand tightly. "Matt and Chris are outside. Matt's still crying his eyes out."
She ignored Nick's intense gaze fixed on her face, feeling as though he wanted to ease her pain somehow, yet knowing deep down that nothing could do that this time. "Did you call my mom?" she asked, already starting to stand up and leave.
"No, not yet. You've barely been here for 15 minutes. You were out due to a lack of oxygen caused by the immense stress you've experienced," he explained with a worried tone, his concern evident in his eyes.
Nick knew this was something she had to accept soon; the reality Matt had created, but he could not blame her as well. It was as tough for her as it is for Matt.
"I need to go, Nick," she declared, attempting to rise despite his efforts to stop her. "I have to leave."
When she yanked the door open, the scene of Chris comforting a sobbing Matt intensified her emotions. She bolted through the hospital corridors, she heard matt's pained cries, calling out her name, but she shut them out, her own tears streaming down her face.
She couldn't return home; she knew he would come looking for her there. She went to her friend's house, 30 minutes away from the city. There, she poured out her heart, crying for hours without any sign of relief, even as her friend insisted she rest.
She was determined to distance herself but Matt persisted, bombarding her with calls and going so far as to break into her apartment, almost crossing the line. He needed to see her, just a glimpse of her. Despite his relentless attempts, she remained resolute in her decision to stay away and forget the pain she never thought is possible to endure.
The first thing she did was move out of the state. However, this did not deter Matt's persistent calls; they continued relentlessly, he had never stopped calling her, going as far as 15 times a day, which made her change her number. Every hour of every day.
His once bright apartment turned into a gloomy space, mirroring the depth of his sorrow. Though Nick and Chris tried to comfort him, Matt's agony remained a daily occurrence. When Nick mentioned hearing from a friend about her move, Matt sobbed even harder leaving Chris in a state of silent sympathy, understanding that no words could soothe his brother's pain.
As days blurred into one another, Matt felt like he was just going through the motions. Despite his family's excitement for the upcoming arrival of his daughter, he struggled to embrace the joy. What is he going to do with the photos of them on his wall? He could not believe life has turned out this way for him. He loves her so much, cut him and he'd bleed her. He found things she left behind all over his place and in his car—a few hair ties, towels, and a forgotten backpack. It felt like she had been there just yesterday, sipping coffee in his t-shirt, before everything changed.
Grace returned to Boston to be with her own family, allowing Matt the opportunity to spend time with his daughter without any hassle in visiting her. The overwhelming guilt Grace felt was beyond words upon learning the demise Matt and his love were in. Grace didn't know what to do except care for her daughter.
Both she and Matt had agreed upon a plan: they would take turns caring for the baby. Mondays through Wednesdays were dedicated to him and his family, while the remaining days were for Grace. This excited everyone despite the lingering gloom looming on Matt. His mom tried to talk it out with him what her silence means and her reasons for leaving, but he didn't want to hear it.
She was taken by surprise when fate dealt her a harsh blow, a reality she never saw coming. In the months leading to the arrival of his daughter, she felt lost—often crying, sometimes just drifting through the days. She felt numb.
She left her job in Boston and sold her apartment, a place that held memories of their love. Cutting ties completely, she changed her number and blocked everyone connected to him. When her mother visited her in her new place in Los Angeles, she enveloped her in an embrace, cradling her as though she was two years old again, consoling her like she was a child over a wound that seemed destined to never heal.
Despite the persistent ache in her heart, her sister encouraged her to visit him and his newborn child who now filled his world, claiming it was the least she could do to begin moving forward. So, she obliged, taking a flight from the West Coast, the sweltering summer heat hitting her the moment she arrived in Massachusetts.
Fate had it that his daughter was born in the summer—clear, sunny skies and laughter-filled streets. It perfectly matched the season. But for her, it was a different story. Every street she knew contained traces of their past, and every building and landmark was a reminder of memories that she wanted to forget. Her eyes welled up with tears, a silent testament to the heartbreak she carried inside.
Matt had been in touch with her sister, the sole link he had to her world. It was the only strand connecting him to any semblance of her presence—a fragment he'd clung to desperately for months. As she stood before the familiar wooden door of his childhood home, the only thing separating her from what was to come. The door swung open after just two knocks, revealing Matt at the other side, as if he had been waiting for her arrival for an eternity, almost as though he had sensed her presence long before she had even approached the house. It was as if he knew she stood outside, hesitating for the past five minutes to step forward.
Surrounded by familiar faces—Matt's brothers, his parents, and Grace tenderly cradling the baby on the couch—she felt a surge of emotions. "You came." Matt let out a breath.
She blinked at him, nodding. Not a word. None of this felt ordinary; everything was painfully surreal. Nick and Chris enveloped her in warm hugs, their knowing looks bringing a tinge of comfort in the situation. Slowly, the room emptied, leaving her alone with Matt and Grace.
"Hi," Grace greeted warmly, rising from the couch to greet her. "I'm so glad you came."
Her gaze met Grace's, her genuine welcome felt like a fragile attempt to bridge the gap that had formed between her and Matt. It was not Grace's fault that they were not official when it happened, it was his. All of this was because of him.
She reciprocated Grace's warmth, reaching out for a hug. Unbeknownst to her, Grace had been eagerly anticipating this moment—a chance to express her apologies and explanations, to reassure her that there was no cause for concern. Grace also intended to announce and let her know that she was getting married this upcoming December to her high school sweetheart with the hopes of inviting her and Matt, together.
"How are you? Congratulations," she offered with a gentle smile, attempting to break the ice. Handing over the thoughtfully chosen gift for the baby, she could feel his stare at her.
"Thank you," Matt whispered, an attempt to break through the barriers that silently stood between them. She didn't look at him. She couldn't even.
Watching the interaction unfold, Matt couldn't help but feel the weight of his breaking heart, knowing that this situation was equally tearing her apart and more.
"I've been better. Oh, and thank you so much for this! This will take time, but I'm sure she will be excited to read this," Grace said, excitement in her voice as she unwrapped the gift some more. "Oh my god! I love it."
"Yeah, it's for when she's a bit older and can already read. I remember already loving books from a very young age," she explained.
Matt's silence lingered, he wanted to say he knew that. He knew everything about her. Grace nodded appreciatively, sensing the weight in the air and offered, "Well, do you want to meet Sophia now?"
Nodding in response, she felt her heart racing as she carefully cradled the baby in her arms. As she held her, tears welled up. Sophia was a breathtaking sight—beautiful in every way. She had her father's eyes and nose, while her mother's lips and hair adorned her delicate face. Sophia's resemblance to her father was striking, almost every feature mirroring Matt's. She sat there, holding the most beautiful little girl she had ever seen, a sad reminder of what could have been with him. A life she's supposed to have.
She couldn't move, she felt rooted to the ground. "She's beautiful," she whispered softly, her voice trembling slightly, as she handed her back to her mother, fighting to contain the tears that threatened to spill over.
"I need to go. My sister—she needs me for something," she said, her voice strained as she struggled to compose herself.
"What? Stay for dinner. His mom would love to have you," Grace insisted warmly.
"No, I can't. I don't want to intrude," she declined weakly, already rising to her feet, eager to distance herself from the overwhelming ache that filled the place. Her heart throbbed painfully, yearning to be far away as possible from the man who had once been her everything. Each step away felt like a necessary retreat from the heartache, a desperate attempt to shield herself from the flood of memories and emotions that threatened to engulf her completely.
Matt's plea cut through the tension. "You're not intruding. Stay," he urged, his voice soft but desperate. Their eyes met briefly before she averted her gaze and replied, "I would love to, but I really have to go," she uttered, her tone heavy with reluctance. The air grew heavy, both of them painfully aware of their hearts breaking in each other's presence.
Without another word, she made her way to the door, already stepping onto the porch when Matt rushed after her, his hand clasping her arm tightly. "Don't go. Please," he pleaded; his voice filled with desperation.
She pulled away, continuing to walk, with Matt trailing behind. "Matt, please," she choked out between tears streaming down her face, her composure shattered.
"I'm sorry, I don't know what else to say or do," Matt choked, reaching out to her once more.
"Please, stop apologizing," she cut him off sharply, turning abruptly to face him. Frustration evident on her face. "Just stop."
"You didn't have to leave, you know? I needed you, you know that! I need you. I looked for you everywhere!" his voice trembled, pleading for answers.
"You don't understand," she cried out, her voice shaking with emotion. "I can't handle this."
"Why? Many people make it work. Why can't we? I have Sophia now. So what? It doesn't change anything. You're the love of my life. It doesn't change anything," he pleaded, his voice cracking.
"It changes everything. It changed everything, Matt!" she replied, her eyes filled with a mix of anger and pain.
Once more, Matt tried to reason, his voice heavy with sorrow. "How? Tell me how?"
She sobbed; her voice filled with hurt. "Because Matt! It was meant to be me. I had thought this was going to be my life! This is the life you promised me!” Her words quivered. "I know it's been tough for you too, but I just can't do this."
Matt tried speaking again, but she cut him off immediately. "You just don't understand, Matt," her frustration evident, eyes wide with exasperation.
"Try me, c’mon. Tell me-" Matt's voice faltered, his brows furrowed.
"She made you a father!" she yelled, her voice quivering making Matt widen his eyes. A moment of stunned silence followed. He was frozen, tears streaming down his face, wrecked by the realization.
"I can't measure up to that! No matter what I do!" she cried out as mascara runs down her face.
"I-I," Matt struggled to find words, the impact of her revelation hitting him like a tidal wave.
With that, she walked away, leaving Matt behind, tears pouring down his face. She can hear the front door open and a concerned Chris rushing to his brother.
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