#yes im drawing parallels that dont exist. and what?

[my-mt-heart]

Hi MT

Im not gonna lie. I dont care if Carol comes back by saving Daryl,i just want her back with him. It is not such a used trope i think in media, the man saving his girl is still the overused one for me, even if its getting better. And yes, its a repetition of whats gonna happen in Summit, but its good, because it means that they (amc, the writers, gimple, whatever...) know, even if uncounsciously/unwillingly, that Carol is for Daryl the equivalent of Michonne for Rick. Unlike you, i dont consider their stories to be that different. The only difference is canon. Apart from that, for example, as soon as they arrived in Alexandria, Richonne lived together with Carl and Judith. And guess what? Caryl did the same. Until, for God knows why, they had her kind of move in with Tobin. But i disgress. And its ok to disagree.

But it never crossed Amc etc... minds, unlike some shippers would have wanted, to have a carzekiel spin off, or a donnie one. There ks a reason for that. Can u imagine a spin off centered on Rick and anyone else than Michonne? Same for Daryl. Its not Connie or whoever who is gonna save Daryl or whatever. Its Carol.

Caryl might stay forever platonic and never go canon, but i think its safe to assume that at the end of it all (either end of s2 or in another show once everybody reunited with Rick), they re gonna leave together. New Mexico on a bike could still happen.

As for CP character, i think its also safe to assume that they didnt kiss in s1 wich is done filming. If they had, we would have heard abt it by now (there have been a few spoiling photos for other spin offs.... without spoiling too much myself for u or ur readers, even if i think you dont care since you dont plan to watch).

I dont think we have to worry abt Isabel or Isobel or whatever. Yes, he's going to question his loyalty blablabla, but its not gonna last.Have a lot of other things to say, but its too long already. Will wait for another time!

Hi back. Just a heads up, you brought up a few points that I feel strongly about, so if it sounds like I'm yelling at you, I'm not. Like you said, we can disagree, and I look forward to hearing more of your thoughts.

Carol saving Daryl means she'll be active and she'll have a strong emotional drive, so I support that as well. There are still ways to distinguish Caryl's and Richonne's arcs, but I ultimately don't care if it turns out both shows have the women saving the men's asses which then lead to beautiful reunions. If that concerns AMC, then they probably should've stuck to the original premise for the Caryl spinoff. If there's a chance to circle back to the idea of Caryl going on a road trip together like fans wanted in the first place, that would be exciting. I'm all for it.

But just because we can draw parallels between the two couples, even though we can acknowledge that Daryl is in love with Carol just like Rick is in love with Michonne and vice versa, that doesn't mean their stories are the same. They're not. They don't share the same histories or the same experiences or the same traumas. They came together in different ways and they've grown together in different ways. Apples and oranges.

You're right that I won't watch S1 of le spinoff, and that's for a few reasons. One, because I don't condone how it came to exist in the first place. Two, because I want to close the significant pay gap between Norman and Melissa. Three, because it's obvious it won't respect Caryl's relationship or Daryl's character. It doesn't matter that he and CP's character won't actually get together or kiss, etc. What matters is the fact that AMC will tease the shit out of it like they did with Daryl's three other younger non love interests, which subjects Melissa to more ageism even if she's not involved in the story and subjects Caryl fans to more misery even if they don't watch. Melissa's/Carol's absence is going to hang over the show no matter what.

It's infuriating that AMC does so much for their male stars/EP's, more than most of them deserve, but they have no problem throwing the women to the wolves. It's infuriating if they still assume they can take advantage of Caryl/Carol fans' loyalty by playing the same manipulative games they have been for years without delivering on their promises, one of those promises being (unambiguous!) canon. Caryl were written to be romantic, whether their haters want to see that or not. It's important for story integrity, for Daryl's and Carol's character growth, and for onscreen representation. I can't give AMC my viewership/subscription if nothing changes.

#caryl #caryl spinoff #carol peletier #melissa mcbride #darylneedscarol

[myrfing]

OK pandaemonium thoughts

random guy who eats. me too

not new but I love how all the souls have different colors in the aitiascope. rainbow stars

i liked how they had a whole frankingstein's monster thing going on with p10 pandaemonium. i think that's a fun thing to draw a parallel with re: ancients and their creations

i like themis and erich a lot. they're both children who long to be needed. themis has the gift of being something of a prodigy while erich was made to fail but they still found it in them to stand together cus they're just people in the end. how crazy it is to see where that privilege then takes elidibus in the future vs erich

i didnt realize it would hit in some weird way to see lahabrea see like...the reincarnation of his son living a very happy and fulfilled life as a mortal shard. so many complicated emotions in one quiet pause. knowing that you would have made the same choices that mirror athena's, knowing you spent this whole time casting judgement upon her, binding her, going back and forth on her, but seeing that in the future you'd take the same path. people born in one time leaving their scars upon people who don't fit in the mold like erich and then coming to terms that The Times have changed anyways. things you only made peace with in knowing it's been long over

athena's thing kind of makes me think they were expecting players to resonate more with endwalker's whole thing of you are not a tool and you are worthy of living even if imperfect based on past responses to the concept of the WoL. i think the raids straightforwardly reiterating so much of this is neat

it makes me so ough that erich's last words to athena were "and who made me that way?" but at the same time knowing he got sundered and some piece of his soul gets to live again in a world where he is allowed to be curious and silly and full of life...THE FACT HE WISHED TO MEET US AGAIN...what we know and what we don't know.........

hegemone gay as helllll. kind of ehh about how things went for her where she's like yes im sorry master lahabrea now

yeah #duty will never set you wrong

I GOT SOME OF MY AURACITE ANSWERS YAYY AND IT OPENED MORE QUESTIONS YAYY

interesting to know that ultima the high seraph isnt related to altima then?

athena seems like such an anomaly. what her existence and imprisonment says about the ancients is interesting but what we get of her is mostly through the lens of lahabrea and her evil i want to be god moment

weirdly soft epilogue with elidibus. I guess that's what people wanted to hear, that he doesn't hate us and finds worth in what bit of life he did get to live, but I kind of dont like how its so wol-centric? i still feel like we don't know who themis is exactly LMFAO and neither does he until he gets mulched. of course he's always had a natural curiosity and link to the wol but i just kind of ??? when was it about enjoying your time with me

OVERALLLLL i enjoyed pandermonium it was fun. the highlight really was erich and uncovering the thread of his existence was so satisfying and strange. reaching for yourself throughout all space and time. and i keep my opinion of themis as...i mean he even himself says it he doesnt know the elidibus of the future and can't speak for him. it was VERY enjoyable seeing the bits and pieces of him though

4pits

#6.4 spoilers #ffxiv

[ferdieinceladoncity]

I FINALLY GOT AROUND TO WATCHING THE GIGGLE NOW THAT MY MOTHER IS WELL, I'M ONLY ONE ENTIRE WEEK LATE BUT HERE'S MY GIGGLE THOUGHTS

-okay, for one I am not as averse to the bi-regeneration as some people have been. I saw that leak detailing it waaaay earlier, and I was honestly excited more than disappointed. As long as they don't do this every single time future doctors regenerate- which would suck-it was fine as a one-off thing, and made sense for the iteration of 14. Of course he would be brought back so that he could go home and stay there. And 15 gets to go gallivanting off and start off the new season, so alls well. I dont think it takes away from Ncuti's arrival as the doctor at all because he had most of the focus of the episode from when he split off and became real.

-I could not help but draw parallels between all the people of earth thinking they are right and denying wearing the... whatever they were called, the rings- and covid and masking stuff and whatever which I guess was the point. The toymaker referencing 'cancelling' was so cringe though lmaoo

-Kate Lethbridge Stewart you are my wife forever <3

-what the fuck was that robot there for. the vlinx. This is like, for suuuuure we are getting a UNIT spinoff soon and the inclusion of that weird robot is gonna be part of it. Literally everything is pointing to a UNIT spinoff and that was so obvious in this episode. I don't have opinions for or against the existence of a UNIT spinoff, btw.

-the callback to the Moffat companions was great. Shame he mentions Amy but not Rory?? hello? he was very much touched by a weeping angel too.

-Overall, I didnt hate the toymaker as a villain, but it was like... i don't know. a discount master. I guess he was fun, but I wouldn't be too keen on seeing him return anytime soon.

-that being said, spice up your life was very fun :3 Oh I'm going to have that in my head forever, aren't I..

-Please don't reference the year as a big speech in the episode of television you're making. Yes I understand it's because it's the anniversary but does nobody else find it super cringe when they're all like.. oMG.. 2023... maybe that's just because im super tired of that trend back in 2020 where verbalising the fact it was 2020 was used as like the marketing campaign of every single brand

-mel bush was certainly there! for, I guess, reasons! maybe I'd care more if I'd seen her back in the like... 80s, but I didn't, and so it was like. okay. were there any classic fans watching jumping out of their seats when she was on screen? I just feel like when the doctor reunites with an old companion, it always feels shallow. Like when 13 reunited with Tegan and ace in power of the doctor. It just felt like she didn't really know them anymore and we only really saw 14 exchange pleasantries with Mel as if they were friends meeting back after a couple years in a grocery store aisle. I think they more or less got it right in school reunion, seeing ten with Sarah Jane was so wonderful. But that was a whole episode centred around their reunion and when you're introducing a past companion as part of a special or big anniversary episode you kind of have to push it aside in favour of the other stuff you have to show, making it feel like, what was really the point? a companion is such an important person in the doctors life and it feels narratively unsatisfying to bring them back to satiate or entertain older fans but not really centre any part of the episode on the doctor and this companion they formed a real bond with.

-if I was donna I would have stepped right on that doll the first time I saw it and smooshed it into the floorboards like a spider

-I feel like they played catch too fairly. For one, why even bother throwing the ball back and forth between yourselves? dont tempt fate like that. take all your shots at the toymaker. surely it wouldn't have been hard to just lob it a little bit to the left and off the edge a lot sooner. He'd say you were a bad throw but I doubt he could prove it

-I liked the imagery of the rose petals shooting out of the guns I dont know I just thought that was neat

-oh, speaking of! Rose mention! the doctor said he loved rose in 2023. Well, in a stilted way (next point) but man I guess this can be considered a timepetals win???

-the dialogue just didnt crackle and to a point and with a few expeditions this has been the case for all the specials. I don't know if im looking at it all the wrong way, but there's something a little bit devoid of life when compared to earlier seasons. It's not deal-breaking for me. But I think it was especially potent this episode.

-The TARDIS having a ramp is pretty great but why not let her in it?? why show her ( cant remember her name but the UNIT officer in the wheelchair) you show her it has a ramp now and she's happy about that, but nah fuck it you can't come in and have a look.

-The TARDIS also looks so much better with the warm yellow lights and I'd have warmed to it a lot more if it ALWAYS had that warm yellow lighting instead of the sterile whiteness 14 was kicking around in.

-Seen many people mention it already but the fact that was 14 was going commando after the regeneration because 15 got the underwear is hilarious. and he had the dogs out and all. my man. only in doctor who can the climax of an episode be the protagonists and the villain saving the world by playing a game of catch and one is barefoot and the other is literally in his undies. huh

-tentoo did not win ffs. just one mention. just somebody asking how he's going where he's at. just someone considering him at all. a fucking throwaway line. DONNA KNEW HIM. im going to bite my hand off and rtd better have something planned, some good reason for acting like he doesn't exist in these specials. Like even if when they were talking about the doctor settling down and having a domestic life, even if donna had said like "like that other you did" and then we all moved on. but literally act like he doesn't exist I guess

-I'd probably sooner kill myself than live with Sylvia noble but good for 14 for his ending. it was cheesy as all hell but whatever. it deserved to be. It was sweet. It was nothing I'm going to go crazy over but whatever. sure.

-I'm excited for 15 because I do love what we saw of him here. he's fun and he seems to be a bit more free of all the baggage his prior incarnations held which is good. I'm interested to see what he's like but this ep sets him up as quite promising.

-alright, wrapping up, this episode was by far the worst of the three specials, and left me feeling unsatisfied with some things and happy with others. overall, im not taking it too seriously because the episode itself wasn't doing that, it was just a bit of fun and flashy and a bit stupid but it had to be because it's tennats proper sendoff and an anniversary special. It was fine. And I'm glad, im so glad overall that we got these three episodes. I do think that doctor who is so back and im so happy to be a fan.

#doctor who #the giggle #mine

[ghoulodont]

for me the interesting inhuman thing about ghouls is (rather than their physical characteristics) that they are in some way created and not born. i see people talking about them being ritualistically summoned and im 100% on board with that. and i think that raises a whole bunch of interesting topics including the following:

how, physically, is a ghoul created?

generally what ive seen is some sort of summoning ritual (this makes sense and fits the theme) in which a ghoul emerges fully formed from a portal. this is interesting because it implies the ghoul was already alive somewhere else, and is just being brought to this plane of existence or planet or whatever. i think its a pretty common concept in other demon lore/media (doom comes to mind, because it always comes to mind) and i feel like its really what "summoning" technically means.

i personally think a more compelling method of creation is like in hellraiser¹ where frank basically grows out of blood/life energy and is literally physically created right there. i feel like its more parallel to birth and also just more fun and yucky. notably, this doesnt contradict the idea that a ghoul already exists before being summoned (frank was being resurrected, not created for the first time). but a method like this could also believably be creating something new.

2. where and what are ghouls before they are summoned?

if they are summoned through a portal which is just a magical doorway than i guess they are in hell and just hanging out. what is their life like there? do they have guitars there?

i think ghouls could perhaps be incorporeal before they are summoned, if their bodies are physically created as part of summoning. i like the idea of a ghoul being sort of "made to order" based on what the summoner needs (e.g. type of musician). i also really like the idea that ghouls have no prior experience with anything. this is probably one of the most compelling ghoul concepts to me. am i projecting in some way? yes, absolutely.

3. how do ghouls know what they know?

this ties in with the previous question. if they lived somewhere else before they came here, they could just practice their instruments there and come here knowing how to play them. i think thats logically possible but the idea of electric guitars in hell is kind of silly to me.

the idea im most attracted to is that, if they are created, they come with the knowledge they need to be in the band. obviously as humans who start out as babies we gain knowledge through experience but imagine someone with amnesia². depending on what parts of their memory are affected, they could have semantic ("what") knowledge without episodic (personal) memories.

4. are ghouls alive? are they alive in the same way as a human?

one straightforward answer to this question is that they are demons, and a demon is a type of creature like a human or other animal. personally, the word "ghoul" (more generally) means something undead just by definition. so my knee-jerk reaction is to say yes of course ghouls are undead. but i dont think it makes sense for them to be zombies. if we consider the backstage photos³ to be canon we can assume they eat and sleep and everything (as opposed to, for example, being banished after every show and summoned again at the next one).

then again, what really makes something undead? it sort of ambiguously means alive but not alive, or more specifically dead but corporeal and animate. but i think that second definition is a little too restrictive because its a hard line to draw. you have to consider also what it means for something to be alive, which is debatable as well.

anyway, i think of ghouls as being mechanically alive (beating heart and everything) but their "souls" are not alive, which would fundamentally be undead. i also think being something that was never a baby is an undead concept also. so overall i think they are undead but in a way thats indistinguishable from normal life (yes, projecting⁴ again).

if you havent seen it, enjoy

i found these explanations of declarative (semantic, episodic) and non-declarative memory in the context of amnesia helpful

e.g. on slide 4 of this post

i have some personal death experience (according to me only)

#longpost anyone? any pornbots want a longpost? #ghoul philosophy

[night-vale-s-new-neighbour]

Year 1 - Episode 1 : Pilot

Notes in messy order:

Warning ! long post !

Ok, so like what the fuck is up with that dog park. You are not doing a great job at not wanting me to watch.

This Joyce woman knows what the fuck is on. Capitalism letsgooooo

???????? THE VOICE THRISTING FOR THE SCIENTIST ? LIKE OK ? ????

YO ? WHAT THE FUCK IS HAPPENING IN THIS TOWN ?????? what does this has to do with gateraiiiiiid

THE PLANE DISTURBED THE PRACTICE ??? QUITE A BIT ????? oh ? ok at least no one s dead. bruuuuuh imagine being so focued on the game like fuuuuuuck also, what the fuck desert team ? what are you doing with your life ? "delaying practice for several minutes AT LEAST" (talking about how a plane almost crashed during practice) Oh carlos ! i think he s the guy people ship cecil with ? ohhh godly salt

awwww thanks carlos :') "Everything about his was perfect" didnt expect this turn, but i welcome it gladly

<o///what they know and what they dont yet know that they dont know

what the fuck is this facily ? awww that s nice :) how does this goes bad Oh thats great. "it's a definite draw back i agree" YOU DONT SAY (talking about water front without water)

sounds like copium if you ask me (about the water front)

What is the NRA ? nevermind i just found out BRO WHAT THE FUCK IS HAPPENING AT NIGHT VALE. this is a pro guns wet dream (night vale)

This town is fucked up. what do you mean this house doesnt exist LMAO "CARLOS AND HIS PERFECT HAIR UWU" DUDE JUST REPLACE THE FOUNTAIN ALREADY

howling ? A HUMAN SOUL BEING DESTROYED THROUGH BLACK MAGIC ????? that is such a specific like description. like yaaa i heard buzzing, ya it was like a raddlesnake being shoved in a paper schredder. like pardon ?

i think the indian tracker (the slavick one) seems like someone who is gonna be more important.

oh the angels ? (at the arby's) aliens ? robots ??? what the fuck is at the arby's ?

carlooooos UWU HAHAHHA GET THE INSURANCE

ok ghost cars. brooo what the fuck is in the sky. Hey at least they are caucious

Song break :D i dont understand shit ^^ apparently something about digging, lmao i'm pretty sure that s illegal buddy

ok little theory time. i'm thinking this town is not real ? Like it's not on earth, it's a parallele dimention kinda like bill ciphers magecon. Because i have a heard time thinking that the sun would react differently in specifically this region of america (im guessing ittakes place there) Also how are poeple so blasé about all of this ? i'm guessing taht is why no reacts to anything too, because this is on a parallele universe/timeline

ok hierarchy of angels let's go ? oh i guess i'm not gonna know then. what about joyceline ? SO THEY ARE REAL ???

"alligators, can they kill your children ? yes"

dude i was thinking the same thing (about death)

just a normal tuesday (finding an undercity bowling alley)

CARLOOOOOOOOS <333333333 oh something supernatural ? awwww thanks man :') ok that was kinda eerie. goodnight cecil :D

#liveblogging #welcome to the night vale #night vale liveblog #year 1 episode 1 : Pilot #notes

[trueka]

Hi! Idk if you’ve answered this already but how did you come up with the concepts for Venus and Juno and your other oc worlds ? Like what were your main inspirations behind it and the worlds around them ? They’re so nostalgic and seem well thought out and planned with so many different components if that makes sense! ❤️

hi sorry for answering so late!!! tysm for thinking that abt my ocs even tho i feel like i barely share anything about them🥲 the different worlds are all kind of like different aspects of myself and my interests combined in various ways. i tried to break it down under the cut but it ended up rambly sorry !! hopefully i answered ur question

tldr: i came up w them based on my interests and background

VENUS & JUNO

everything about this concept is super self-indulgent. as i've said before i really enjoyed things like w.i.t.c.h., winx, totally spies, barbies, bratz, dress-up games, ppgz, polly pocket, etc. growing up

when i was in 4th grade i even came up with a whole multiplayer online game where you could customize and play with this cute alien pet thing. and literally the first time i ever used a credit card was to buy a membership for cartoondollemporium so i could get access to the cuter clothes. like i loved pretty things and still do, and indulging in that with venus & juno w/o any restrictions makes me happy, so yea. a lot of this concept is inspired by things i still enjoy from back then combined w everything that i enjoy now as an adult

the fashion aspect is especially self-indulgent. i just wanna draw cute ppl and making everyone in the universe dress like that on the norm gets rid of the need to explain why i put characters in the clothes they wear lmao. like yes the outfit doesn't make sense for the character but it's just how they all dress dont worry abt it

i really love how space (specifically the planets) looks too, and i was always super fascinated by supernatural/mythological stuff so i combined them. they're supernatural/mythological creatures who look like aliens. alien-esque demons. the planet they're on is still earth (or is earth-like) but the colors arent normal and 70s interior design is everywhere cause im obsessed w that era. so it's sorta like hell on earth except pretty. might have nine circles but not sure about that yet

OR aliens are demons and hell is a parallel universe planet. i'll think on that

here's a pinterest board of the setting

i also like michiko & hatchin and the animation sequence in kill bill, and ik i haven't really taken it there yet in my art but from the beginning i always wanted to make the story with vibes like that. something serious. and i literally posted a wip of venus on top of juno with their tits out so. definitely higher-rated, just w fun colors

im sorta approaching this concept thinking it'll be a video game. like the bratz diamondz or barbie fashion show ds games but it's a story-based action-adventure fighting game ...might sound ridiculous but i really want a hyperfeminine video game where i can kill so here's that

so this is my thought process for all of that. idk if i touched on everything but yea!

FEVER DREAM

i grew up in home that was both catholic and buddhist (but mainly the former). as i got older, i was more analytical. my interest in religion grew from a more philosophical standpoint. like i got super obsessed with it. even took a philosophy of religion class. paid for that shit

there's a lot of reasons as to why, but ultimately i really liked exploring the relationship between deity and man. the whole concept of "fear of god," the ultimate reality, what makes a human, all of the moral philosophical debates. i also love the paradox of, because you can think of something, it exists, but it exists because you thought of it. idk if my explanation made sense but it's all really cool to me.

from here i thought exploring religion from a horror lens would be super fun, and then came the main plot of the story (which has been reworked like 5 times now; more times to come lol). ofc i didn't wanna deal with like. actual religions tho so i came up w fake gods and then decided to just throw in supernatural stuff cause it's fun, so that's how that aspect of the world came about

i was also taking a psychology class at the time this concept was first being thought up, so there's some psychological concepts about deja vu and dreams in there too just bc i experience deja vu a lot (like i'd dream of something and then it'd happen years later irl. i'd get deja vu and then remember i dreamt of it). thought it'd be cool to have that as a major component of the concept so yea

and im super into the aesthetics of baz luhrmann's romeo + juliet and thought it'd be cool to combine it with the small town horror/suburban gothic feel so that's where i plan on taking it aesthetically. kinda like a beachy horror town. like on a super hot day u feel like the sun's trying to kill you but what if it really was... that was a stupid example but u get what i mean

also was into those horror puzzle youtube videos coming up with this. forgot what they're called but yea those were inspirations too

i say all this but im rly not smart enough to make it good so 💀it will j be staying in my mind

SAIJA (NAME TBD)

again... fascination with gods. this time i approached it from a more eastern angle with the whole balance and nature thing. set in a southeast asian-like area because i'm vietnamese, time era uncertain. inspired by samurai champloo, atla, mushishi. if it were animated it'd be animated like flcl and episodes would be set up like nge. this one's the least developed, so there's not much to say about it yet

#im not that articulate im sorry 😭 i’ll figure out how to explain these better one day #i wrote a shit ton so if u dont wanna read all this. totally understandable #didnt include everything i wanted to say and it was still this long bye

[icecreamkink]

so i watched cobra kai all in two days and i have so many -

this show has so many cool and smart angles to it, but the same time.... its so stupid oh my god everyone is so dumb literally mr miyagi held all of the braincells in this whole universe 

like i am but at the same time i am not surprised it was made like this, bc in hindsight of course there were hordes of ppl simping over johnny lawrence ....  but it still amuses me that this is like... an Actual Official Thing

ok this will get long so cut it is

how much fun this cast has is super visible and i love it

i rly enjoy how the world was expanded ! i did grow up watching the karate kid movies, so watching how they progressed the world of the movies so organically was pretty cool. it rly feels like its the same universe

i fucking LOVE stories that are largely about a Thing. dancing ,skating, sports its just so thrilling to experience this all consuming relationship people can have with this type of activity? and martial arts are just that much more intense, so yeah, grown ass men kicking each other around at the lightest provocation and a war veteran caring so much abt teen karate is Ridiculous.... but i love it all because thats the intensity i find so thrilling

was kinda surprised with how much im missing mr. miyagi. first because, like everyone is so unhinged jesus christo, it just really throws into relief how much his character grounded the narrative of the movies. but also hes just a really great character

and on that note it rly Gets Me that the show itself aknowledges that and plays that into daniels angst and all the little ways they sorta weave myiagisms into the whole show........ im not getting emotional over this dumb karate dads show OK

related - i really miss hearing ‘daniel-san’ 🥺🥺

ACE DEGENERATE oh god oh no

they really went down the down and out johnny lawrence route huh. like i was always kinda bummed we see kreese choking him and then we never see him again in the movies, and while i love dumpster fire problematic trash himbo ck johnny, its like......................... actually really sad that his life turned out like this fjngn

everytime i hear ‘babes’ and ‘pussy’ i die a little inside. i know thats the point but i am a v cringe easy person, have mercy (ehe)

loved the way they are constantly drawing parallels between johnny and mr. myiagi of all people. hes the handy man of his building that has a bullied kid asking for help and eventually steps up to teach them karate, beats up a bunch of bullies for him, creates a friendship with said kid, estranged from family, drinks his sorrows away, surprisingly one of the least quick to anger characters (which says more about everyone else really but.... Well.), no schemes or ulterior motives hes just tryna vibe here.... oh and ofc magically heals miguel of is asthma apparently. the true disciple.. meanwhile daniel is his usual messy petty self even tho he wants to be mr myiagi so bad 

also interesting about that is how miguels character is a parallel of both johnny and daniel at the same time

overall the parallels in ck are done really well, drawing comparisons and also subverting them constantly. theyre well thought out

THE PARALELOGRAMS

fr tho, the angle being explicitly the cycle of trauma and its effects and how trumatized adults in turn traumatize kids, maliciously or not, is so interesting

but! on the flip side of that, it feels like the writers are getting in their own way @ letting the characters grow. especially this last season. theres only so many times you can do "johnny and daniel are getting along but 5mins later they are (literally) fighting over some dumbass random issue" or "johnny puts in 20% of effort with robby and then gives up" before it gets on your nerves yknow?

i see daniel no longer talks like macchio ingested 15 shots of espresso before every take and idk how to feel about that tbh

interesting tension in daniel, as in, in tkk mr miyagi was there and daniel was frankly, kind of a lil shit, this messy petty spitfire hot tempered sassy kid,(johnny lawrence voice: just... stop being so annoying) but now hes the adult, and he wants to be mr. miyagi... but hes just not, and never will be to his very core and it shakes him and in a way hes trying to find who he is now that he sees himself in a position to be a not! cobra kai figure. i kinda really like that 

plus how that relates to his cobra kai trauma. idk if the writers thought abt it Like That, i think so, but in any case, its interesting bc it seems like daniel has told everyone whod listen about johnny lawrence his Pretty Boy Karate Rival and high school and 84 cobra kai... But. no one seems to know what went on in 85 (or 86? idk) which was just so much worse

like ye og cobras were shitheads, but tkk iii is just two hours of daniel being emotionally and physically tortured. 

like, the third movie is.............chaotic, to put it nicely, and many people ignore it, but the writers clearly didnt. daniels actions are, in a way, responding so much more to the events of tkk iii than to the first movie ie. johnny himself, AND. daniel doesnt rly seem to have dealt with that trauma? he never told sam? doesnt feel like hes ever told amanda? he doesnt even say terrys name out loud? freaks Out over kreese ? the way he reacts to robbys deceit? his FACE when he walks past the new "fear does not exist in this dojo" paint or kreeses photo? hmMm i sense Pain

his fashion tho........... disappointing. where are the flower shirts daniel huh we had one (1) shirt what a tragedy STOP WEARING SUITS ALL THE TIME . also the band ts/grunge bi are a look for johnny but part of me longs for the preppy lovable 80s bully chic johnny lawrence getups

weird that they never used that last moment of karate kid where johnny kinda... snaps out of his anger and hands daniel the trophy almost in tears. like “youre alright larusso, good match” “thanks a lot”  that being their last direct interection seems like itd be perfect fruit for cobra kai but... they just dont. weird. 

especially when, the FIRST SCENE they see each other, suposedly in 30+ years, the first thing to come out of daniels mouth is QUOTE "u still got those golden locks huh?" WHO SAYS SHIT LIKE THAT DANIEL FUCKING SAN 

also amandas immediate reaction "your pretty boy rival?" like. can we talk about the fact that daniel had to have imparted to his wife the very important information that his high school bully/karate rival was like Really Cute and Fucking Hot Actually

 the writers Knew exactly what they were doing and honestly.............. power to them

tkk director voice: and billy was just so cute  

also I was thinking that daniel sounded strangely fond in that first scene, and i wonder if he developed a weird affection for johnny on the grounds that of all of his Karate Rivals johnny was actually the only one who didn’t actively tried to literally kill him

i was actually delightedly surprised with how great the chemistry between them is, like from the get go i am Invested. their rl friendship totally bleeds through and its fantastic

. granted, idiots enemies to lovers friends is my Thing so i am biased  

johnny lawrence: i am down in the dumps, i fucked up my whole life and my sons probably, largely in light of the trauma that the father figure sensei and the philosophy of my karate inflicted on me and all my friends. u know what i should do, as a traumatized, unreliable mess of an adult? teach that same philosophy to some other kids! what could go wrong! 

but really i enjoy the setup of it. i kinda like that i watched it late because, season 1 was johnny setting himself up for failure in a way and it was exciting to watch it all go to shit sjfn

Like. his heart might be in the right place, but theres just.... not a way to teach something like ‘strike hard, no mercy’ and not have it fuck up a kid 

case and point: aisha, miguel and hawk become annoying as all hell over that bullshit in the end of s1, even before shit gets truly fucked up

billys subtle panicked eyes when he sees hawk and miguel fighting dirty in the all valley was SO GOOD especially in parallel with the panic that is so visible in his face in the movie when kreese tells bobby to injure daniel and in the sweep the leg scene 

seen people question wether kreese should have returned and i absolutely think he needed to. johnny needed to realize that cobra kais fundamentals are flawed, at the root, beyond kreese himself being a toxic piece of shit 

also who are we kidding? we are here to see the tkk characters play on new playgrounds!

i get what they're doing abt kreeses backstory, ( also. cobra kai. pq eles caem nas cobras djjs sorry) but did it need to take up that much time? feels like they couldve  done it in half the run time and developed some other stories better 

martin kove has such an evil eye. i love it

love that we get a good follow up to kreese breaks johnnys trophy and tries to CHOKE HIM in the parking lot, which happened in the movie and then....................... was never mentioned again

“the gang is all back together again” aaaa u piece of SHIT 

also. terry silver is definetely appearing ha ha ha PAIN i cant wait

seen ppl say kreese was too much of a cartoon villain like..........................oh......... sweetie........... u dont even Know

interested how johnny will fit into that bc kreese was simping rly hard for johnny here. like i did not expect him to be so adamant to have him with cobra kai ... under his control, sure, but he really wants johnny by his side despite already having control of the dojo and how will terry silver self appointed jon kreeses forever simp going to feel abt that? 

like bitchs dropping by every episode like ‘joooooohnny ..... come bacc to me joooonny......... this ur last warning! for real this time johnny! i wont say it again! watch me ! im leaving johnny! im rly leaving ! im dragging a chair” and johnny is just like. dont let the door hit ya bitch it was so funny pls

and on that subject oof, johnny! doesnt! Know! he doesnt get that side of daniels cobra kai trauma. and i kind of.............. cannot wait for ck 2021 johnny lawrence to meet terry silver like. what a shit show i need a front row seat and popcorn (imagine terry tries some greasy charm and johnny just roundhouse kicks him in the teeth bc he just doest Not Have the Patience for This. glorious)

feels like we, as a society, should acknowledge that cobra kai will never die................ bc their sense of design is just chefs kiss. their name is COBRA KAI. they have sexie sleeveless black gis. theyve sneks. colorful leather jackets with embroided naja insignia, the get ppl thru the aesthetics. evil geniuses

the flashback cuts : masterpiece behavior

the other takes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! of the movie!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! the differente angles!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! of the FIGHT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THE CLOSE UP ON JOHNNYS FACE AT THE KICK 

that scene of daniel and johnny vibing to 80s music in the car. just. oh my god. the fan wish fullfilment. no thoughts head empty.

the new characters! theyre .... good. but. idk. i really like miguel (save for the annoying phase mid s1 - end s2) and amanda, who is a damn riot and has some functioning braincells, but everyone else is       

like dont get me wrong, i dont hate anyone,its not a jane and rafael from jtv situation,  and i am interested and invested in their arcs, but i wouldnt say i like   Like them, as in, personality wise 

like, sams grappling with ptsd was rly gutting and i enjoyed that plus her slight rage issues, 

which nicely parallel torys rage issues. torys background is all over the place tho so im pretty on the fence abt her so far

robby deserves better in every way, and i like how smart and cunning and surprisingly sweet he is

hawk............... is there i guess,

 demetri is annoying in the best way possible,

 carmen is sweet but. i just feel like her character is blunted to make the johnny relationship easier. like when shes furious with him after miguels injury but then forgives him like an episode later? and then convinces him to fight for the tournament bc she had a karate epiphany off screen even tho she was always against it? meh. feels like with the plot thiccening she was swallowed and now shes like a crutch for johnny mora than anything, which is disappointing.

aisha was cool and im kinda mad she wasnt in s3, especially bc a storyline with her tory and sam was like RIGHT THERE , but also... cant say i was super super fond of her... doesnt feel like we ever spent enough time on her

moon the bi icon, 

overall its a good cast but the main draw for me remains the og cast 

the tory/sam miguel/robby Thing. enjoy how theyre Narrative Foils and i like how their stories were so dramatically entangled but oh god give me a break with the teenage love square for the love of god. if u gonna put us through that at least have the decency to not make it so straight

and honestly some sam/tory        miguel/robby romantic tension would even make more sense. just saying! 

also im not sure how i feel abt the cobra kai: red miyagi do: blue theyre going with since some of daniels most iconic looks in tkk are also red. like it was a color they (johnny and him) sorta shared. i get it, opposite but complementary but idk... a little too fire nation and water tribe for me .

 and like the cobra kai kids are so funny abt it bc their outifts grow progressively more ridiculously coordinated. its like do they group chat every morning before leaving their houses? 

robby still sticks out like that tho. he went thru an athleisure/daniel san tsleeves phase and now hes back in the bandts grunge, but his color scheme doesnt fully blend with the other cobra kais. hmmmm.

LOVED LOVED LOVED both the okinawa episode and the cobra kais easy rider episode just such good good heart aching fun

bobby is an icon. he was in tkk and he is now ck hope appears more and more

 tommy is like the most iconic background character. all his lines, freaking gold then and now. sigh :( 

the framing in the okinawa trip was so good everything was so good

i stand by the fact that kumiko was the love interest daniel had the most chemistry with and shes is overall such a joy to watch, loved to see her again, idola, fashion icon

also tkk ii is good u guys are just mean

also really enjoyed chozens role in the episode, his evolution; i love that they introduced the pressure points (ty lee the blueprint) and! the honk + karate! cousins! absolutely iconic

when kumiko reads mr miyagis letters........ oh my god, my eyes FILLED with tears, it was so heart wrenching :(( tamlyns delivery was so emotional and lovely and its so obvious everyone involved in ck has so much love and respect for pat morita and mr miyagi as character, and i adore that it exists like this electric current through the show

when we were watching i told my sister i thought that ali would be miguels big shot surgeon and ngl i am so disappointed that didnt happen. hire me cobra kai writers

also the johnny ali daniel amanda chemistry? off the charts

AND the sassy retconning of daniel and alis breakup! LMAO ‘I HOPE U DIDNT TELL MR MIYAGI IT WAS MY FAULT’ HFDJJGNKFKSD

i am preeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeetty sure back injuries dont work like that    but oke

daniel and johnny are so good together whenever, like they never actually help the kids or get shit done and end up fighting anyway but its just so much fun when theyre hanging

JOHNNY LAWRENCE AND DANIEL LARUSSO FIGHTING TOGETHER

daniels “plan” on how to get robby to juvie was so stupid. literally were u TRYING to make him hate you. dumbass

parents at those hearing rly brave for ppl that did not do ANYTHING as their kids got involved in a karate gang war until now

“bullshit i heard u were the real bully!” i mightve screeched

this s3 ending was SO DRAMATIC omg

everyone is such a MESS go to THERAPY u unhinged motherfckers

also im sorry but uh. a richass neighborhood in california doesnt have some type of neighborhood watch? the larussos rly dont have any security at all? neighbors wont hear the sound of a damn karate brawl happening next door??? also wasnt tory all like ooo i cant go to juvie, my mom yada yada yet shes always running around town getting into fights even at the rich girls house she was kicked out of school for fighting??   ?  ??    ??        ?                ?    ?          ??                  ?    ? girl??

stop destroying the larussos house, its so pretty :((((

sam finding her center looking at mr miyagis picture...  uwu maybe

robby yelling ‘U ARE WEAAK’@  johnny \as he is easily blocking him is like.... so funny and so sad to me. sweetheart. 

also i know it was meant as ‘oh johnny pushes him and HURTS HIM’ but it just looks like robby runs himself into the lockers and IM SO SORRY I FEEL SO BAD BUT IT WAS SO FUNNY 

i like that he and tory are the cobra kai kids now. we need ppl we care abt there to not revert to a good vs evil schtick, and this is the most engaging it could be... tho it hurts that these kids cant catch a break

ah yes "lets bet some real shit on the result of this teen karate tournament bc that is always a great idea" is BACK

so daniel saves johnny from kreese..... maybe johnny will save him from terry 🧐

and dojos unite ohohoho. lets SEE how that’ll work out 

miguels face of Despair when the ck defectors and the md kids are bickering like 'this is never gonna work' : gold

also. Johnny Lawrence is gonna learn some myiagi-do karate AHAAHSJAKDFH

 ive been waiting for this moment all my lifeeee oh lawrd 

final thoughts! there are def things i hope the writers will improve on the next season, but i am very excited for it either way AND i feel like it has made me enjoy the movies even more and that is a win for a reboot/sequel to me!!

#m. #did i procrastinate watching this since it came out and only watched it now bc my sister nagged me to when i said we should #watch karate kid over the holidays? #and then binged the whole thing in two days?? #mayhaps and what abt it #cobra kai #the karate kid #its funn #y bc like karate kid is a Childhood movie but i wouldnt say #it was like particularly special for me? #like i wasnt in a fandom or anything #but now. #i might be invested #maybe #talvez

[mittensmorgul]

Hi. I really enjoy your blog and thank you for being so positive. All the negativity about last night's ep bothers me. I would love to see Dean/Cas finally have that big moment, but it wouldnt make for good story telling if we got it so easily. I have felt since s12...we are getting real personal growth! I also feel something big is coming for Dean/Cas with how they have kept them apart and all the emotional baggage getting adressed. There has been no hug either and there is so much unsaid. ❤

Yeah, I mean... I watch the show with the full knowledge that no matter how important Dean and Cas’s relationship is, even to the actual structure of the narrative, the way they’re writing the story and the actual focus of the main plot... will never focus that directly on destiel. This doesn’t mean I think destiel isn’t A Thing they are writing, just that Who Dean Is As A Person and Who Cas Is As A Person both take narrative precedence over the potential for a textual romantic relationship going forward for them.

I have no idea how to say that without sounding negative about it or drawing wank on it, which is why I don’t usually attempt to state it so blatantly in public. But I am 100% not negative about this. I’m just speaking about it from a narrative structure perspective here, which I’ve been yelling FOR LITERAL YEARS bears a close resemblance to the structure of 1001 Nights, and the Scheherazade/Shahryar relationship. Their romance is NEVER in the foreground of the tale, and yet somehow the entirety of 1001 Nights IS THE OVERARCHING STRUCTURE OF THEIR ROMANCE. Other aspects of the story are more pressing (like Scheherazade having sacrificed herself in the attempt to stop other women from being killed every morning, but not actually wanting to die herself because She Is Smart and Has A Plan and showed up with a buttload of awesome stories to slowly guide her plan to fruition). All those stories she weaves, in the gaps between them, she and Shahryar slowly fall in love. It’s not something they confess out loud, but it is something they both gradually begin to feel and to understand. Their interpersonal side-plot grows slowly, over 1001 actual nights of storytelling and companionship, and it takes nearly THREE YEARS of constant nightly stories, never letting one story end at the wrong time (at daybreak, when Shahryar might choose to kill her, but always timing it JUST RIGHT so that he’d ask for another story to fill the hours until dawn... which would inevitably be interrupted on a cliffhanger with words unspoken still between them... interrupting moose, anyone? That would be Scheherazade’s sister, Dunyazade, who accompanied her on what was supposed to be Scheherazade’s literal last night on Earth, but whose prompting and strategic interruptions actually furthered the romantic tension growing between Scheherazade and Shahryar, preventing their story from coming to an end too soon).

So while Scheherazade and Shahryar and their slow fall into love with one another is literally fundamental to the entire narrative, there was no way for any of it to pay off before the end of the larger narrative, you know?

If Scheherazade can patiently continue spinning out her stories, setting her own eventual (hopeful!) personal happiness aside because she sees the bigger picture at stake, then I can certainly wait until the end of Supernatural, however long it continues until its story is finally done.

Does this mean I’m saying that romantic love confessions and a clear, undeniable canon romantic relationship will factor in to the ending of the series? Nope. I have no guarantees to offer. But it does mean that as long as the show keeps factoring the fundamental importance of their relationship into the larger overarching narrative, as well as their own personal character arcs, and continuing to poke at it both through narrative mirrors and textually laying Big Questions for them out on the table, then I’m gonna be Scheherazade about it.

Every episode begins (emotionally, for me) with the Dread Pirate Roberts having spared Westley’s life because of True Love, and telling him “I’ll most likely kill you in the morning.” But then he doesn’t... and he continues not killing him, because it was all about true love. (yes, I’m saying the Princess Bride is a twist on the 1001 Nights narrative, at least insofar as The Dread Pirate Roberts persona goes. I mean... the parallel goes a lot deeper than this, into so much more of the metaphorical journey, the Hero’s Journey to prove himself worthy to his True Love, the quest for justice when he doubts the strength of that love to transcend death, after it was literally stolen away from him... I mean, this parallel also runs deep).

So that’s where we are with destiel. I’m perfectly 100% happy with that. Because I’m content to engage with the narrative they are actually presenting, and not delusionally projecting my own desire for Dean and Cas to just be happy now onto it in a way that it just does not exist in canon, you know?

All that said, YES. How long has it been since we’ve had a simple, “Hello, Dean.” Or even a HUG between them... since 13.06? YIKES THAT IS A WHILE. And we didn’t even get to hear the Hello, Dean at the end of 13.05 that we all yelled at the TV to fill that silent gap when Dean answered the phone and it was Cas calling him.

I choose to believe that the show is following their own unofficial theme song in this regard, though. They’ll be able to be happy at the end of the road. “There’ll be peace when you are done.” And until then, they’ve got a lot of road to cover, and a long way to go, and a lot of extraneous baggage to deal with. But they’re getting there, because they’ve always been headed there, even when they weren’t entirely sure where “there” was, you know?

But now we know Dean DOES know, at least in a general way. He’s not longing for a life that isn’t his anymore. He doesn’t feel cheated out of the white picket fence, apple pie life anymore. He’s made his own family (which absolutely does include Cas), and he recognizes there’s still work for them to do, but Dean himself is good with that. He’s in a strangely healthier place than he’s ever been in his whole entire life, including 4-year-old him who never knew death and fire and tragedy.

And that’s absolutely something to carry forward, wherever the road may lead.

And that’s also why I’ll eternally be frustrated with fandom bitterness over the literal structure of the entire narrative. I mean, this is not gonna change. This is the main story they are telling, and how they’re telling it. I only hope that being able to get some perspective on that will help people keep all of this in mind and truly appreciate the beauty of it all. This is why I personally feel this has the potential to be the greatest love story ever told, because it’s so much more than just an angel falling from heaven and raising a man from hell, and then meeting in the middle. It’s about BOTH of them, their choices, their failures and successes, and this entire process of understanding who they are in the larger structure of the universe, and who they could potentially be to one another.

And I wouldn’t have it any other way.

#spn 14.13 #spn 300 #destiel #spn s14 spoilers #the scheherazade of supernatural #this is how stories work #and saying destiel isn't the central focus of the story isn't diminishing its presence in the larger narrative #sorry if i kinda ranted and rambled at you here but this is so important to me #aurenia heart

[shedidntevenswear]

Lover - My Initial Reactions to all non-singles

Ok so I just had this draft up as I was listening and wrote down exactly what came to my brain thorughout, its more for posterity’s sake but like feel free to read under the jump

I Forgot You Existed:

literally lyrically amazing within the first verse i cant even pick a favorite line

this is such a bop i am

IT ISNT LOVE IT ISNT HATE ITS JUST INDIFFERENCE

the production on this is so perfect like just enough to have fun but not enough to overshadow the extremely good lyrics

THE LAUGH we get a laugh i cry oh my gosh theres more laughs

all of the half spoken lines are peak 

Cruel Summer

the transition into this song was so freakin smooth

mmm sexy i love this chorus

the metaphors are strong with this one i am here for it

we are 2 for 2 on stellar bridges

“I love you isnt that the worst thing you’ve ever heard” yeah i felt that

the screaming after she says “i scream for whatever its worth” like yes sign me up for these backing vocals

The Man

two lines in and we are spilling the tea so hard im scalding

TAYLOR YES SAY IT LIKE IT FREAKIN IS

“could i be separated from my good ideas and power plays”

I dont get the Leo reference I feel v uncultured haha

the production on this album is a perfect middle ground between 1989 and rep

BITCHES and BITCH we have an explicit song ladies and gents

the ending aaaahhhh love some haunting echoes

I Think He Knows

ooooooh yes v sexy i am feeling this

where tf is 16th avenue?

excuse me this song is SO CUTE?????? 

what a cute follow up to Delicate!!!!!

“good ones never wait” remember that ladies

another absolute banger of a bridge

Miss American & The Heartbreak Prince

an allusion to the ybwm music video this is looking good

“you play stupid games you win stupid prizes” !!!!

a whole high school metaphor this is such a great 13th year throwback

some reputation themes coming through but the gist is she DOES! NOT! CARE!

Go! Fight! Win! like that is so freakin GENIUS

the edits we are gonna see from the ybwm mv for these lyrics are gonna be so good

Paper Rings

very different vibe than i was expecting from the title

the vocals on this album are so unique and expertly used to set a mood hot dang

“I like shiny things but I’d marry you with paper rings” i am going to weep

“in dirty dreams” ok ms swift

“I hate accidents except when we went from friends to this” she really is not doing my single heart any favors here

lyrically, we love this bridge and its dress bridge sister

oh yes slowing it down and switching to acoustic

this tour is going to be so fun and band-driven ugh im obsessed

yes live fade out yeeeees

Cornelia Street

“We were in the back seat” of the taxi????

IS THIS A HAYLOR SONG PLEASE SAY YES

“memorize the creaks in the floor” is the new “dancing round the kitchen in the refridgerator light”

this song is making me v happy to live in new york city wow

i know everyone from sessions was loving on this one but im lukewarm on it so far

its like really pretty but theres nothing making me scream about it, it must be the background story that makes it good

ah the use of the word “mystified” i see the enchanted parallels now

Death By A Thousand Cuts

i dont know what is going on in this intro but i LIKE IT

the tunes of like every single one of these songs.... i approve

ANOTHER GREAT BRIDGE

united we stand she really is our american queen

there is so much happening so fast this one is gonna take a lot longer to process/unpack

i can tell i love these lyrics but they really are gonna take me reading them haha

London Boy

WHOMST is that at the beginning?

“i enjoy walking camden” cant relate have you ever been there lol

HIGHGATE I FREAKIN LIVED THERE

“i fancy you” STOP thats so cute

this song is goals for me gosh 

“They say home is where the heart is, but God I love the English” yeah ok guess thats gonna be an instagram caption

i am literally THRIVING i know all of these places she is shouting out and they literally own my heart

i love this song so much for very personal reasons ok bye

Soon You’ll Get Better

SHE PRAYS TO JESUS EXCUSE ME

i am a puddle i love andrea swift so much

“i know delusion when i see it in the mirror” ouch

wow good thing we are not gonna get this on tour

the deep sigh MY HEART

thank you very much to the Dixie Chicks for the background vocals the add a lot without distracting

False God

going from crying to the saxophone really gave me severe whiplash

“religion’s in your lips” woooo

this song is sexy af

the breathy loo-ho-ho-ho-ove PLEASE

i take it back this is Don’t Blame Me and Dress’s child

“you still do it for me baby” this is such an important line

Afterglow

the drums YES

ok so its not about sex lol disappointing but i still like it

love a fight song thats about like working through it

“meet me in the afterglow” lovely i love it

taylor makes herself sound a lot crazier than she probably actually is in like...all songs about fighting haha

we love a song about accountability

I like think this is a well written song and good production i just am not connecting to it yet and probably because #cant relate haha

It’s Nice To Have a Friend

lol cannot tell what this is about yet but i dont hate it its just different

oooh ok is this a slow burn friends to lovers fic? im here for it

TRUMPET yes ok now we’re talkin

oh that escalated quickly

Is this Mary’s Song 3.0?

Ok I see why the sessioners were like meh on this one

Daylight

“luck of the draw only draws the unlucky” the play on words is peak

“maybe i’ve stormed out of every room into this town” lol so dramatic

i think i need more time with this song or maybe im just tired haha

the lyrics are really excellent im just losing interest

“I ONCE BELIEVED LOVE WOULD BE BURNING RED” lkajdflkajsdlfkjasdlfkjasdf

she did it! she said the thing!

TALKING THE RECORDING AAAAHHHHH THIS IS BIG SPEAK NOW ENERGY

“You are what you love” ok so am I Taylor Swift now? 

#amanda please #lover reaction #lover album release

[getallemeralds]

If ye don’t mind me asking, what’s Kin mean? I’ve looked around on the internet and the definitions don’t seem to fit how i see em used..

it’s kind of like… well, it varies from person to person (and it even varies among my alters ghjfdkhgd;;)

the most prominent kind you see about on tumblr nowadays is fictionkin, where people identify as a fictional character– like, basically having a response of looking at an image of them and having the same “that’s me!” response as if they were looking at themself. this can because of feeling like they were that character in a past life, or that character is an alternate universe version of themself, or identifying with them because of similarities in trauma or mental illlness, or because they’re just a lot like that character in general, or… just because!

the strength of it can range from “this is literally me and i remember things from their canon as if they actually happened to me” to “i like representing myself with this character”. if someone has multiple kintypes (characters they ID as), they can have various kins on any end of this scale.

for me, mathonwy is a coping kin– i identify as him because of mental illness stuff, and i started drawing myself with a variant on his mask and it kinda stuck as an element of some of my personas. i also like presenting myself as him by using icons and having a url based off his name, because it makes me feel better? kind of hard to explain.

lal, meanwhile, is someone i draw a lot of parallels between myself and him, and project a lot of myself onto him and it kind of led to this weird… thing. (and bc this can be a concern in mc storytelling stuff, this is specifically lal the character. some ppl can mistake it as “wait so you mean the person behind the character?” if its a rp thing and my answer is “no, absolutely not”)

one of my alters, Pat, is a fictive of an obscure character– meaning that kir system origins are “there is a version of this character that lives in my head”, basically, and for kir the explanation behind it is trauma & coping with events in my life that were happening at the time i got into kir source media and i got attached enough to the character to help me work through what was happening to me that my brain kinda. made kir. but that’s an entirely different thing and is system-exclusive, and on top of that kie has “typical” kintypes as well! like Tails. kie’s the sort that has “remembers canon events as if actual memories”, which can actually be kind of rough on kir when kie gets things scrambled up between “wait did this actually happen, or is this weird memory stuff”

…and then there’s Cazwell, who also has memory recall but it’s never anything important or relevant to any questions she gets asked about it.

HOWEVER all of this is about fictionkin, which is actually a comparatively new thing! like, ive been on tumblr for way too many years, and fictionkin in current tumblr… society, i guess, has only been a thing since like 2015. not as in that fictionkin only started Existing in 2015, but that previously it was only a tiny fringe subsection of a much bigger community: otherkin! or therians, or nonhumans, or however they feel like calling themselves depending on situation. it’s basically the above, except swap “fictional characters” with “animals, fantasy creatures, or anything nonhuman”. this can also be because of past life/spirituality, alternate universe, coping, or just relating really hard. ica’s a gryphon!

it’s kinda weird to us to see the sudden shift to fictionkin being a) very widespread and b) actually more wellknown than otherkin? bc when we first got involved in the community in, like, 2011, fictionkin as a term didn’t EXIST. they were labelled as “fictives” despite that being a system-exclusive term, and there were actually a lot of arguments over it, if it was even a legitimate identity, etc.

something to keep in mind with all of this is that kins, fictives, etc Know theyre not “physically” what they identify as. as awesome as it would be to be lal irl (i’d be like a solid foot taller! holy shit!) im not, i just like using icons of him on the internet and drawing myself as him (…this is actually where digger came from.) and while sometimes we make jokes like “we’re [character/animal/etc] irl” its a “this is pretty much Me” thing while still knowing its just… not.

its okay if you dont “get it”, just like.. be respectful if it comes up? like, dont make fun of people, because it can often be very personal to them. i know it can sound ridiculous, like with the whole komaeda kin thing (some kintypes get… reputations… if theyre from a popular media that a lot of people find connections with, especially among teenagers figuring out their identity and potentially using kintypes to help build it), but i kinda just consider it a fun fact about me. like, for me, i see my fictionkin thing as a list of characters you can learn about and learn more about me as a result, because i identify as them for personal reasons.

#leo chirps #leos reply #long post / #VERY LONG OH GOD SORRY i got carried away #system shit #Anonymous #ask

[unproduciblesmackdown]

there was an ask list but instead of reblogging it im just doing the thing where i answer it all and put it here under a readmore

what mythical creature do you wish actually existed? idk i like griffins but i feel like thats boring b/c they dont like have any Powers...

soundcloud or vinyls? i dont rly use either lol

what book does everyone right now need to read? whatever they want i have no huge recs. i like the ashbury high / brookfield series & thats kinda unknown but thats it

do you like wearing other people’s shirts/jackets? its not much of a thrill...i guess im neutral but it has to fit me for starters

what was the best thing that happened to you this month? i donno. watched some stuff, had ppl compliment me

what’s a promise you’ve recently made to yourself? i periodically tell myself to care less about various shit

would you rather be the sky, the ocean or the forests? i guess the sky....clouds are nice. the ocean is full of heinous shit and the abyss. the forest can be kinda iffy too and also cut down

would you kiss the last person you kissed again? i havent kissed anybody romantically* so its not really an issue for me

do you plan your outfits? rarely

how do you feel right now? eh theres the usual undercurrents of misery and frustration but that’s just bg noise most of the time. im alright i suppose

what’s the last dream you remember having? well i was having trouble driving, which is a frequent dream, because it was a bus, which is an unusual detail. i think we were trying to take a roadtrip to a beach in another country, which is a thing that happens in my dreams lately. but then i suddenly found out i was in a play that was in like rehearsal/performance stages already, which is also common. my role was to act like i was real gay for some other guy character. i was like lol no prob

what are you craving right now? im usually a bit hungry i guess

turn ons/offs? i like people who can go along with a joke i suppose and who seem interested in other people and what they have to say. too many things repel me from other ppl to list

when was the last time you cried? why? i’ll cry super easily if im just imagining some sad concept

did the one person who hurt you most in your life apologize? there’s some contenders there smh...but no

do you bite or lick your ice cream? lick....

favorite movie ever? i dont have one

do you like yourself? yeah im alright enough

have you ever met or seen in person a celebrity? not like an a-lister no

how many countries have you visited? just the one ive always been in

have you ever been in a castle? no

what’s the craziest/bravest thing you’ve done? i dont think anything too special. got in front of a car w someone but it was moving slow. proceeded w my stage entrance anyways even when a curtain cue got effed up & led the Improvisation of working around it, but that was dance so nobody had any lines to change

what’s on your mind right now? hoping it tstorms really dramatically later

what’s your zodiac sign? gay

name 5 facts about yourself. my eyes are blue, my pupils dont dilate evenly coz one is a bit less dilatable, im horribly nearsighted, i can cross one eye, i have sort of a unibrow

do you believe in karma? i dont believe in not karma

ever been in love? not romantically*

whom do you admire and why? a lot of activists, im interested in activism and volunteering but have rarely been able to actually be involved in things

what was your favorite bedtime story as a child? man i dont remember having bedtime stories, i dont think i did that much after learning to read myself. i read “pat the bunny” a lot for my little brother, that one was his fave

did you make someone laugh today? i dont think so

do you believe in ghosts? ive always liked hearing about ghost shit, i am not inclined to think that everyone who says theyve had Ghost Encounters is lying, i know ppl personally who have stories who i dont think are lying and it would be presumptuous to say like “well but they probably didnt REALLY x y or z,” and yet still i am always skeptical abt the whole thing. i am agnostic abt everything ever re afterlife stuff, but again—if we’re in a horror movie haunted house situation and shits going down, im going to assume ghosts and everything ive heard about them is true and act accordingly until we’re out of there, Greg The Adamant Disbeliever can have fun dying. and catch me not messing around w ouija boards or any of that shit either...im good.

if you could go back in time which time period would you visit? visit....damn i dunno.

would you want to live forever? why/why not? i mean if other ppl are doing it to then it might be fine. but like me specifically as things are now living forever, im not much interested. someone else can have my immortality

what makes you sad? shit like, life man

was today typical? why/why not? yeah i didnt do anything interesting

who do you trust the most? i dont particularly distrust anyone but i dont really have anything i’d need to trust anyone over

what did you have for breakfast today? i didnt

do you have any regrets looking back in your life? not really

what’s your favorite fictional universe? i dont have one

favorite tv show? i dont have one

share a favorite quote. i have some but i’ll never be able to think of one on the spot

what does your ideal day look like? ahh idk. doing something fun while being around other people

do you have any hobbies? i guess drawing / writing count. theres other things but i dont do them regularly / recently

share a small random book passage that means something to you. dont have one

what’s something you always wanted to do but were too scared? theres not really anything like that

do you usually date people your age or older/younger? neither

who means the world to you? why? any cat ive ever met b/c theyre angels

best books you’ve ever read? i guess i can plug the ashbury/brookfield books again

who is your favorite cartoon character? i gotta say lars dont i

coffee or tea? tea

would you rather be extremely rich or extremely loved? loved but like by multiple ppl right? gimme that magnitude in Widely rather than Intensely

are you a dog or a cat person? i feel like only dog ppl consider this to be a real Binary

what is your biggest addiction? biting my lip endlessly lol

do you ever think about the galaxy? sure

what’s your favorite color? blue

do you have a good relationship with your parents and siblings? why/why not? nah...my sibs and i are like friendly acquaintances i guess. thatll be an abusive household i guess

are you a morning or a night person? night

have you ever dealt with a mental illness? I Guess

how would your friends describe you? uhhhh people say im funny sometimes

do you consider yourself and extrovert or an introvert? bit of both

what’s something you love watching/reading but you are too embarrassed to admit you do? i dont think i have any secrets there

describe yourself in 3 words. extremes, thoughtful, Gay

best memory as a child? idk i always liked swimming and going to pools / waterparks

what is your eye and hair color? blue / brown, respectively.

do you like crystals? theyre cool

if you could change one thing in the world, what would it be? imperialism banned

what’s your hogwarts house? idk slytherin hufflepuff or smthing

biggest pet peeve? theres many..

would you rather go to a cocktail party with your best friends or stay home and read a book/watch a movie with your pet? well first i need the mythical best friend group but also can we be doing something more fun than a cocktail party

share a secret. I’ve Pooped Outside

would you rather live longer or happier? this might only be a difficult choice if it was live shorter or happier

who’s story is your biggest inspiration in life? why? nobody coz idk

do you wear glasses? yes

forest or river? forest

do you like exercise? its alright i dont like just straightup running though

do you like poetry? it depends on who the poet is. cishet white dudes shouldnt be allowed, for starters

any special talent that you have? i’m good at telling if lines are parallel lol

#i dont pretend to be interesting

[hanekawa-san]

Have you ever considered the fundamental parallels that can be drawn from the first episode of Owarimonogatari--in which Araragi and Ougi find themselves ensnared in a classroom within a void--and (of course, for vastly distinct reasons) the 'Monika ending' of Doki Doki Literature Club?

OBVIOUS SPOILER WARNING LMAO DONT CLICK IF YOU ARENT CAUGHT UP IN MONOGATARI OR DDLC

I feel that the classroom scene in owari is meant to be a mental prodding session since ougi wants koyomin to figure it all out, and she knows that he lacks all insight and forethought to actually piece it together, so she teases him. Most literally because koyomin’s enlightenment would make ougi more real, especially since she knows at his core he wants to stop people from dying when they’re killed, further backed up by his actions at the end of owari s2. Although that entire thing gets fucky since ougi is technically validated as existing, but then disappears because thats how the oddity works and MAN OK KOYOMI LEARNS THE THING AND OUGI IS HAPPY HE DOES.

At the end of ddlc, my feeling was that monika wanted to reveal everything to you to somewhat put herself at ease: yes i did it, yes im horrible, BUT ITS ALL FOR YOUUUUUU. I feel its too different in my eyes since monika explains all this at the end of the journey, and ougi attempts to at the start (of the season anyways). The parallel i can draw is that the goal in the action is technically for the dumbass mc’s benefit, but the intent and execution is different. After all, monika and mc are different people, but koyomin and ougi are linked. Monika isn’t really teasing you, she genuienly wants to make a case for why she twisted innocent teenagers to kill themselves. Ougi is different since yes she wants koyomin to know, but when you know deep down that he has the iq of a pineapple, you may as well have fun helping him discover the truth.

What would make more sense to me as a connection is ougi’s “death” scene at the end of s2, since the themes are very much the same in both scenarios. Both mc’s have come to the end of a gut wrenching story and experience a cathartic moment of deep introversion. Its also a different feeling since you (the person) can’t influence how koyomi dicks around and gets himself into shit, but in ddlc there was twists and turns that could let you have an EVEN WORSE time than you figured.

So while I can see a faint link there, i’d be skeptical to call it a proper parallel due to the differences i’ve pointed out.

#woohoo #parity-bits

[aesthetic-consumables]

Mid Term Review

Hey y’all. alots changed since I last used this tumblr. (for instance the fucking purge happened...) so I’m here for now mostly for convenience sake. making any lengthly writing on twitter is a pain, and I would like to easily share this with people. so without further ado, lets get into it!

Tommorow is the mid-term review for my progress on my thesis project. and I have 45 minutes. Ill have only ten to introduce my project.

 heres some notes from my mentor on how to approach it.

so Ill start with the blurb to intoduce my project. 

Hey y’all, My name is Teddy, Im from the animated arts program, and for my thesis project I am making a video essay on structures of oppression in mainstream kids cartoons. I expect that the final product is going to be about 20 minutes long, as I have already recorded half of the script, and the rough edit comes up to 11 minutes.

The clips I am about to show you is footage of me speaking on my research opinions an anecdotes. This footage will serve to ground the diverse visuals Ill be including that reference contemporary animation, animators, and the business and culture around them, as well as my own animations (of which there is currently only one of) so! here is some of my footage.

draft one: essentials before timing...

1. content

This is a video essay intended for youtube, and other internet streaming sites for a public audience. My intention is to offer my queer experience and point of view to critique the animation industry as it exist today, and invite my viewers to think about it an draw their own conclusions. 

Yes, I am not focusing my thesis project on making an animated work, rather I am centering my ideas, thouroughly articulating them, and using the visuals to draw the viewer into engaging with the work. This larger story board is the bulk of the video, and it shows both moments when it is only me on the screen, Ttle cards for each segment of my essay, and moments where I am including visual references of cartoons, artists, toys, etcetera. 

Here I have some story boards laid out representing diferent visual aspects of the video. You can see I have a couple different title cards in the board, these mark seperate sections in the essay. since I am using the conceit of the animation pipeline, I am breaking up the raising an animator to prepare them for the industry into segments. These segments adress things like, getting you hooked on animation, developing the ability to mimic art styles, getting technical education, and distill them into the bits with the most impact on myself and other marginalized folk.

 here, is the second animated intervention I have planned. Wheras the first intervention was meant to draw the viewer into the intimacy of a flip book, and emulate the childish style indicative of my early animations, the second intervention is kind of in the style of a “draw your life” style video. 

(at this point pull up a gif exerpt from your thesis proposal, the one where you are standing in a field and the wind is blowing)

here is a style example from the animation I i did for my proposal. this is a popular format in which you tubers talk about stories from their past and illustrate it as they voice it over. since I am using personal narrative in the video, I wanted to include this as a visual aid to get my memory across with the emotionality that I remember it with, and really putting people in my shoes. 

here is the final storyboard, for a prospective third animated intervention. For the ending of my essay, I am not entirely happy with the tone it takes, but I can not find a way to word it any differently. in my conclusion, I am reflecting on the state of marginalized exclusion from the industry, and how I have personally decided to not seek a career through those avenues, and want to strike out as an independent. 

here is an excerpt from my conclusion:

“For me, the path lies wherever I can express myself freely, and for the forseeable future, that doesn’t exist in mainstream cartoons. It is not a comfortable path, there is certainly more money in the industry, but it is comfort with the status quo that perpetuates it. Maybe I will toil just as much as an independent, going just as unnoticed as I would in an office, but I will be able to make the work i feel truly matters. I want to make something that speaks to people like me who are pushed to the margins. Something that makes our lives better, my life better, if only by a little bit. I hope that I can make that happen.”

My intention is to share a message of adaptation, I don’t want my conclusion to sound as hopeless as I think it does, because I’m actually quite excited for my career, and the final animated segment attempts to aid my words in getting this across. 

on this final animate intervention especially, I am open to cuts and ideas from you all, as I am not entirely sure I will include it.

2. research

So since this is an essay, I am not just going to spend 20 minutes ranting about my uneducated opinion. I speak from what I know, and what I know is my personal experience. Not only do I experience many of the things I speak on first hand, I use those experiences to guide my research. 

The first thing I think I should note about my research is that it is almost entirely done on the internet, and to further clarify, I usually dont bother looking for scholarly sources. so before you make assumptions about the rigor of my research, know that I am fully aware that it is all to easy to lie on the internet. Even videos are not safe from being tampered with in this I have grown up with this reality, and cross referencing the information I pull from any of my sources is second nature. For instance, when I searched for “famous queer animators” I saw that there was a wikipedia list of them. While wikipedia is convinient for looking at details about someone, I am aware that the people editing it are not always genuine. I follow the sources cited on the page for the person, and I also plugged the names back into a search engine to see if there were any details about the person having a same sex partner, or openly saying they are gay, elsewhere on the internet. So while using the internet as a main source presents some difficulties, the diversity of voices is really important to me, not everyone is coming from the same background, so I don’t get trapped in a echo chamber.

So why not use academic sources also? First off, I am not making some thesis on the aesthetics of contemporary kids cartoons, so I don’t need such heady sources full of artistic critique jargon Second, the meaningful information I am looking for is the structures of this industry and how it explicitly effects marginalized folks. Academia is among the most exclusionary institutions out there, as there is a stark class divide between who can afford higher education, and who cant. I could make a completely separate thesis on this, and seeking these sources would just muddy my research and make this whole essay less direct.

 This essay is based not only off of my personal history, but the parallel an intertwined history of the animation industry itself. I use my personal experience as a jumping off point to dig into what forces have shaped them.

3. sucess rubric

SO! You know my goals and my process an why Im doing all this now. so lets talk quality. Ill be aiming for success based on the following goals.

Good, non jarring cuts, both in editing out um’s and pauses, throwing in segments from cartoons, and other images, the transitions between each segment of my essay, and the incorporation of my animations.

I want to create a cohesive aesthetic that ties all of these aspects together, through my personal stylings in the trappings of the video (such as my outfit, the backdrop, text overlays, and other visual flairs, 

and Finally, I want my animated interventions to really pop out, and highlight key moments in my video and serve as something that will stick in the viewers mind, reminding them of the ideas expressed, and keeping them coming back to watch.

okay, Im going to time myself talking through this, I’m shooting for 5 minutes.

I got 5 mins 46 seconds. Im pretty happy with that. further edits coming soon!

I adressed the mentor notes.

a note from my mentor:

This all looks really good. The only things I would note are: 1) to include more technical details about the video essay-estimated length, sections, etc

2)you mention that you cross-reference your internet sources, but how do you do this? Perhaps provide an example.

#D has been a funny letter today #oops i forgot to write in my dream journal and I think i forgot everything that happened. shit. #The D key was labeled stuck on the comuter at my work where I am writing this #the D key isnt actually stuck you just need to press it hard enough and at the right angle that it registers that it was pressed #not stuck just a little insensitive #one of my suitors told me he was on the hunt for vitamin D today #I was mildly confused since the sun was out earlier today which is not common for portland #but when i looked out the window to see an overcast sky it became all to clear LOL