Tumgik
#yes im headcanoning them
ikarakie · 1 year
Text
it's corroded coffin's first, proper world tour. they've skyrocketed into the public eye within the last few years, and they couldn't be fucking happier. it's all so amazing, so surreal.
they get to indiana. the crowd is electric, the venue bigger than any of the bars or crappy hole in the walls they used to perform in. eddie steps to the mic nearing the end of the second half of the show.
"indiana, it'a a fuckin' pleasure to be with you tonight." he says, a bit lowly, into the mic. screams fill his ears, thousands of smiling faces. but he's after one in particular. "i'm gonna need your help for a minute here, guys." he motions for the lights to go up, grabs the mic from the stand and crouches close to the barricade, squinting.
"i've got someone out there, mixed up in the crowd." he can't help the fond smile as he says it. "and i wanna find him before this next one. take a quick look around ya, if you're next to a guy about my age, fluffy brown hair, big brown eyes, probably in a preppy little outfit and glasses, give me a scream."
everyone's looking this way and that, eyeing the people around them. thirty seconds later there's screaming to his left. eddie crosses the stage, peers into the crowd. the big screens capture the moment he spots him; his eyes go bright, there's a crooked lovesick grin on his lips.
"hey, sweetheart." he coos into the mic. the crowd bursts into cheers and whoops and chatter. the camera cuts to someone at the barricade, having been pushed forward by others. he's exactly as eddie had described, leaning against the railing and smiling up at the star. for a few seconds they gaze at each other like they're the only ones in the room.
then eddie blows him a kiss, which he catches. eddie laughs a little, brings himself back to center stage. picks his guitar back up and settles mic back into the stand.
"this next one," he begins, adjusting the stand slightly. "is something you haven't heard before." there's unmistakable moisture gathering in his eyes. "i wrote the lyrics entirely myself. it's- it's for those people in my life who i couldn't be here without." his eyes stray back to where steve is, watching him with a watery smile. "those who were there, in '86. who pulled me back up from hell. the bravest fuckin' souls i ever met in my life." he takes a deep breath. hears the rest of the fuckers scream from the VIP area, dustin's voice unmistakable.
"this, my dearest indy, is 'knights of the upside down.'"
5K notes · View notes
umblrspectrum · 8 months
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media
for how much i love to drag pngs around, it turns out that i actually don't know how to animate all too well
725 notes · View notes
soupinaboot · 2 months
Text
Fuck it. Every Steve Harrington headcannon I have because I've been rotating that boy in my head like a pig on a stick Part 2 this is a little more in depth than the first one but only by a smug
- Epileptic, either since he was young or developed it over time due to all those concussions he keeps getting
- Favorite fruit is blackberries I have no reason
- Kinda sad but he never really had friends, yeah he hung out with Tommy and Carol but that was about it. Like after the fall out with them he was by himself, alone. I feel like if he was as popular as we think he is, he would have at least one other friend right?
- Does not have a filter at all. That one scene where he just casually says, "Oh yeah my parents are out of town because my mom doesn't trust him to not cheat on her any who!" and I feel like he just kinda does that
- Star Trek fan but he just does not comprehend that it's supposed to be nerdy (this is not my own I saw someone else headcannon this please tell me if you find them I can not)
- Absolutely sucked at ELA, could be cause of dyslexia or not whatever you want buttercup
- But on the topic of dyslexia, this headcannon is one of the main reasons why I love math nerd Stevie so much. Like, ELA test and History test are mostly long paragraphs that he needs more time to read through and his teachers don't care enough to give him extra time like he needs. But math tests tend to have a small paragraph that he can read faster or just focus on the numbers and finish on time, so he just got really good at math so he would have at least one class he passed
- Survives off of coffee, lord knows he needs it
- My most random headcannon is that since his parents were never really around or cared much for his safety, he used to hang out outside a lot and explore the wildlife around, got really into nature and animals, bought nature books etc. But his dad told him nature and animals were girly and forced him to stop even though he really loved it
- If he does ever go to college (which he doesn't have to, though if Robin went he would probably go with her), he would either get in education major and become a math teacher or some form of environmental degree
- His love language is quality time
- Among the three of them, Steve and Carol were the closest. Yes, Steve and Tommy met first, and yes they tend to call each other their best friends, but in actuality Carol and Steve were best friends. They have mean girl energy.
- He used to also play hockey when he was younger but stopped playing due to scheduling and shit. But he really liked it cause whenever he would practice there were these older figure skaters who would teach him figure skating (he kinda liked it more than hockey but he never told anyone)
- Speaking of scheduling, he is always tired due to his packed schedule. Since he was young, his dad forced him into a lot of sports and didn't really give him a break. Add that to his piano lessons, his jobs, studying that his dad forced him to do, friends, etc... he is just perpetually tired. And it fucked up his sleep schedule developing into insomnia as he got older
- Most of his and Eddie's dates are just them taking naps
- Once he meets Corroded Coffin they all become best friends. Like best fucking friends
- Specifically Steve and Jeff
379 notes · View notes
universal-verringbebe · 2 months
Text
The LADS if you ask them to be rough with you
No one asked for this but I was trying to sleep and this idea invaded my last brain cell and I couldn't rest until I wrote it all down. Enjoy my wild thoughts.
18+, MDNI, explicit
Zayne: The Dom
• He's taken aback by your request at first
• "I thought my kitten enjoyed getting pampered"
• His piercing eyes seem to see right through you even if you're blushing and trying to avoid direct contact
• He asks you if you're sure and once he gets that confirmation, his whole aura seems to darken
• "Strip"
• He kisses you like he's taking control of your whole body through your lips and tongue
• Hand gripping your face while the other touches your body as he pleases
• Picks you up like a ragdoll and tosses you on the bed, ordering you to not move
• And when his own body is bare, he wastes no time in holding your legs open
• "You don't need anymore preparation, right kitten? You seem wet enough to take all of me in one go, so make sure you do so"
• When he penetrates you, its with a hard thrust that knocks the breath out of your lungs and he doesn't stop to let you catch it
• Just when you're getting accustomed to the harsh pace, his large hand finds a place at your throat, skillfully stopping the blood flow to your head
• You're overwhelmed and he's whispering in your ears with that seductive voice of his
• "That's right, this is what you wanted, isn't it?"
• "Just take it all darling, let go"
• You can feel the high of your orgasm coming up, at the same time feeling lightheaded as his hand continues squeezing your throat
• And just when you start to see black spots creeping into your vision, he releases you and gives you one final thrust that sends you over the edge
• He holds you until you come back to your senses, wanting to make sure you're alright
• "You're such a good girl for me, rest now kitten"
Xavier: The Possessive One
• When you ask him, he takes a moment to look at you, considering
• "My princess seems to want to change things up. Who am I to deny her?"
• He walks towards you, like a predator to prey, backing you up to the wall, caging you in
• His lips are hungry, his tongue a weapon in your mouth, devouring you
• You're so lost in the kiss, it catches you by surprise when his hands suddenly grip your night gown and rips it in two
• "It was in my way"
• "I'll buy you a new one princess"
• His mouth travels your body, biting harshly and sucking at the skin, marking you in all the places he's the only that will see and many in places others can as well
• Makes you suck on his fingers before plunging them into your hole, fucking you on them until you're at the edge of an orgasm.
• He pulls them out and bends you over the table, pulling your arms behind your back and using them as an anchor as he slips inside you and fucks you senseless
• "Might just put a baby in you, wouldn't you like that?"
• He forces your body to meet every thrust so you can feel him as deep as possible
• Leans his body over you so he can whisper in your ear that he's going to fill you up so good, you just need to take it
• And when you both cum, he uses his fingers to push any that comes out back into you
• "Can't waste any of this now, can we?"
Rafayel: The Sadist
• "Oh? Baby girl wants to be a slut today I see"
• "Maybe she should earn it"
• He would push you on your knees and guide your mouth to his cock
• After a few shallow thrusts to warm you up, he pushes it as far as it would go down your throat, enjoying the sounds of you gagging
• He face fucks you until he feels close before releasing you, admiring your abused face
• Tells you to get on the bed on all fours and to arch your back so he can see everything
• He takes his time looking at you before delivering a harsh smack to your ass, your whimpers sounding like music to his ears
• "You can tell me to stop anytime, but I can see how wet you are already baby girl"
• He thrusts into you without warning, before pulling out and spanking you again
• He repeats that process several times and then he's pulling your hair to drag you to his chest, finally fucking you fully
• His hand reaches around you to pinch your nipples, the slight pain adding to the intense pleasure you're feeling, your head forced back and neck exposed to his teeth as he still has a grip on your hair
• The orgasm that slams through you causes your whole body to tremor, his thrusts stuttering as he cums with you
• "We should absolutely do that again, you take every thing I give so well"
195 notes · View notes
shellem15 · 7 months
Text
Thinking about the Dawnfather. A god of light, a god of harvest, a god of the sun itself. Good but not nice, kind but not soft. Life-giving but also scorching. Protective, warm, and kind, but also stern, harsh, and abrasive. His light can foster growth, can protect and guide, but it can also scorch and burn. The sun is warm and nurturing but don’t stare at it too long, child, it’ll blind you.
Was he always so hard? Did he always hide his face with the harsh light of the sun? Or was there a time when he smiled and laughed, let others see him as he truly was?
Thinking about the Schism. Was the Dawnfather close to the Betrayer Gods before they turned? He must have been, Asmodeus wouldn’t be so hung up on him if he wasn’t. Speaking of Asmodeus, he was once a being of light, like the Dawnfather and the Everlight are now. Were they closer than the others? When the Gods came to Exandria, did they come from the same place or were they scattered, a ragtag group of survivors fleeing from predators seeking to devour them? And if the latter is true, did these three beings of light come from the same place? Siblings, born from the same stuff, forever tied to one another?
If this was the case, then, what was their relationship before the Schism? Did they call each other “Brother” and “Sister”? Did they hold each other when they were scared, dry each other’s tears, laugh and joke and tease and fight and make up because they were siblings and they’d always be together, and they loved each other with every fiber of their being and they only had each other. When Predathos came, when it devoured two of their newfound siblings, did the Dawnfather hold them both and promise them that everything was going to be okay because he was their brother and he was going to protect them, all of them. The gods, mortals, the world itself, they would not be devoured, they would not be destroyed, because he was there and would fight until his very last breath to keep them safe.
Wondering then, was that the moment when Asmodeus truly grew to hate their creations? Seeing his brother and sister and siblings risk their lives just to protect some mewling mortal wretches when they could just leave it all behind and start somewhere new. Was that the moment when he realized that mortals had done something to them, changed them when they were not supposed to change. Why else would they risk being devoured by Predathos, why else would they suffer through war with the Primordials? Why else would they choose them over him!? Was this the moment when he decided to conspire with the Primordials and the other Betrayer Gods? To destroy this world and the mortals on it so they could finally leave. And they would leave, of course, because the Dawnfather was his brother and the Everlight was his sister and the Gods were a family, and at the end of the day, they would always be together, and once the corrupting influence of those mortals was gone, they would surely all see reason.
And when the Dawnfather discovered this betrayal, when all the Prime Deities did, he must have been furious. How could they!? His kin, his brother, who had always been by his side through everything, how could they turn around and destroy their creations, their children. And so he and the other Primes took up arms and fought against their own family to protect this world they had created, and their children who inhabited it. Those battles must have been brutal, bonds of comradery broken, kin clashing against kin, screaming curses as they tore each other apart.
During those final battles of the Schism, when the Dawnfather clashed against Asmodeus, did they scream at each other in rage? A twisted reflection of previous squabbles, different because this time it was real, this time there is no forgiveness, no making up. When the Dawnfather knocked Asmodeus down, crushed his throat under his foot and banished him to the Hells, was he yelling when he disowned him? Or was he quiet when he did it, his voice going into a low growl, deadly calm as he told him that he was not his brother anymore. And moments previously, when the Dawnfather could have easily killed him, did he look into Asmodeus’s eyes and see his brother? Scared and hurt by his hands, hands that once held him and swore to protect him. In that moment, did the Dawnfather realize he couldn’t kill him? Because that was his brother and despite everything, he still loved him, and hurting him brought him more grief and pain than he could ever imagine. So instead, he banished him, locked him and all the other Betrayers away because he and the other Primes couldn’t bring themselves to kill their family, but they also couldn’t let them free.
Was this when the Dawnfather obscured his face? Hardened his heart because otherwise he would break, and he cannot break, because the other gods need him to be strong, because Exandria needs him to be strong. And so he stayed strong, despite the grief, despite the guilt, despite the pain of heartbreak, of hurting the ones he loved to protect the ones he loved. And this hardening must have continued, running himself ragged during Calamity, beating back Tharizdun, protecting Ioun after she almost died, sheltering the Everlight after Asmodeus once again betrayed her, stabbed her in the back and left her broken and weak when all she wanted was to do was get her brother back, to save him from his own wrath. Failure after failure after failure to protect those he cared about, to protect his siblings and mortals and Exandria itself. The guilt of his failures must be overwhelming, and these are his failures: Predathos devoured his siblings under his watch, his siblings betrayed them under his watch, Calamity ravaged Exandria under his watch, and even now, the threat of Predathos has once again returned under his watch.
No wonder he is so harsh now, so controlling now: because every time he has failed in his vigilance the world has suffered for it. He can’t fail again; he can’t lose any more siblings. And so, he continues hardening his heart, continues fighting, because the sun must always rise again in the morning, no matter what.
319 notes · View notes
kingofpeacows · 9 months
Text
Are you team "Kon didn't know two boys could kiss until Tim started dating Bernard and now he's PISSED he didn't get his chance" or team "Kon assumed everyone was gay because he has two biological dads and thought him and Cassie were just two best friends (which they indeed were)"
222 notes · View notes
risingsunresistance · 9 months
Text
Tumblr media
YOU 🫵 I LOVE YOU 🫵🫵🫵
158 notes · View notes
dipplinduo · 3 months
Note
Tumblr media
A Sour Applin for the soul ✨✨✨
IM. IN. LOVE.
StoP IT HE LOOKS SO CUTE THIS IS EXACTLY HOW I ENVISION HIM
57 notes · View notes
Text
back at it again at krispy kreme
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
120 notes · View notes
beescake · 4 months
Note
you invented solkat I think
Tumblr media
ACK i am goop. i am merely a student trained by the og solkats of the past decade
72 notes · View notes
quinn-pop · 5 months
Text
i’m at the metadad
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
i’m at the dededad
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
i’m at the combination metadad and dededad
Tumblr media
70 notes · View notes
hatsunevitu · 10 months
Text
okay so since the Cupid Ye was aired i’ve been constantly thinking about cartman’s mental condition. we know he’s probably taking medication now, so i hc him having antisocial personality disorder and bipolar disorder. and i’ve been imagining him having his depression episode for the first time after he was diagnosed with bipolar disorder. he’s not used to it, he has no idea what’s going on and why he suddenly feels so tired and numb all the time, so he just stays at home skipping school and avoiding social contacts. he’s scared and the “it’s all because of your illness, poopsikins!” from his mother doesn’t help at all.
and sooo i wrote a short moment about this?? i’m sorry for any mistakes because it was originally written in my native language, not in english :(
***
Ever since early childhood it was clear and obvious to everyone that Eric Cartman had problems. Not even like that, Kyle corrected himself in his thoughts. Eric Cartman had Problems. Sociopathy, sadism, aggression – all that a person could notice in Cartman after only half an hour of communication.
And Kyle wasn't too surprised when bipolar disorder was added to all of the above in a sloppy psychiatrist’s handwriting.
By the time Cartman was finally diagnosed he had already gone through several phases of mania. Kyle even did a little research on the disorder. "To know what to prepare for the next time I meet this psycho," he told Stan. "And to know how to help him if necessary," he added silently to himself.
By the age of fifteen, Stan's company was already used to Cartman's regular explosive mood swings, which were accompanied by crazy ideas, aggressive behavior, and, if absolutely unlucky, deaths of a couple or more people.
It was typical: after a short break, Cartman would burst into Kyle's room (often through the window), start showering him with business plans, startup ideas, and opportunities to have extreme fun. Kyle was silent, trying his best to ignore him and frowning irritably when Cartman smiled ecstatically and rushed to Kyle, tugging at his sleeve and almost shouting that everything would be better this time and that it’s a one hundred percent successful scheme.
For some time Broflovski genuinely believed that everyone in their friends group was going through such tortures, but after a short questioning, he found out that they had not seen Eric's mania with their own eyes. Kyle understood — and they won’t, when Cartman just chuckled at the outraged "What the fuck, Fatass?" and replied, "I guess you're just special, Kahl. They wouldn't understand." His eyes flashed especially maliciously, and Kyle looked away hastily so as not to give Cartman the opportunity to start another fight.
Well, all in all, no one's world collapsed when Cartman was diagnosed with a new mental illness. Over the past months of insane hallucinations and obsessive intrusive thoughts, he managed to make everyone sick of him. He refused to go to the therapy sessions for a long time, shouting, running away and trying to get into a fight, and Liane was too afraid to find out another unpleasant truth about her son, preferring to go with the flow and shut him up with the fulfillment of every single of his whims. Kyle doubts that anyone would have done anything to help Cartman if he hadn't intervened. Why – it was unclear to Broflovski himself, but Cartman's first depressive phase hit them both unexpectedly too hard.
Disappearing from everyone’s sight for two weeks, Cartman ignored calls and messages (although Kyle had a serious doubt that anyone other than Butters and Broflovski himself texted him) and skipped school despite Mr. Harrison's threats of expulsion.
Liane avoided answering questions, pursing her lips in frustration and talking her way out with a trivial "He's sick." Kyle didn't believe a damn second, knowing that if Cartman was sick, Kyle would have known about it the very first. Something was wrong. For some reason, the desire to find out what exactly was much stronger than it should have been when it came to Eric Cartman.
***
Perhaps Kyle really shouldn't have worried so much — not to the point of climbing into Eric's window at night. But the Cartmans hadn't opened the front door all day, and by that time Kyle's nerves were so stretched that they threatened to break if he didn't get answers to his questions in the next few minutes. Disturbing thoughts and images of possible turn of events appeared in his head. Perhaps Cartman was dead? Or, on the contrary, has killed someone and had been dissolving dismembered body of his victim for two weeks? One option was no better than the other, but nothing was even close to what he saw in Eric's bedroom.
Haggard, seven kilograms thinner, with an unhealthy skin color and bags under his eyes, he looked painfully wrong, not Cartman-like. He didn’t look exactly ill — more like lifelessly tired. But that wasn't even what hit Kyle so hard.
He did not suspect how much had been hidden in Cartman's eyes before – lively fire, hatred, anger, enthusiasm, passion – all this was gone, dissolved, buried under this empty, dead, unblinking gaze. For a second Kyle even thought (hoped?) that he was really dead, but the heaving chest under the blanket and almost inaudible sound of breathing exposed life in Cartman. He was lying on his back, his head slowly turned towards the window. Kyle sought recognition on his face, but did not see a single shade of any emotions.
He froze in the window, making eye contact with Eric, feeling like he saw something he shouldn't have. He tried to revive the old familiar hatred that usually boiled in him as soon as their eyes met, but Cartman’s emptiness totally killed all the anger. Kyle climbed through the window – Cartman didn't react in any way, lazily closing his eyes – and walked up to the bed, touching his shoulder timidly.
“Hey, Cartman?” he said, shuddering at the way his voice echoed throughout the bedroom. Cartman didn’t open his eyes but smiled hardly visibly.
“Hey, jew”. His voice was empty and emotionless and Kyle pursed his lips with a bit of a pain.
“You need to see a doctor, Cartman”, he said firmly as Eric finally opened one eye disinterestedly. “I’ll help you. I promise”.
And he did.
140 notes · View notes
dazai-on-my-mind · 1 month
Text
SKK as a QPR makes so much sense.
No they've never kissed. Yes they were constantly touching in 15. They'd rather die than admit they care for each other. Chuuya acted like a girl to let Dazai know they're ok. Neither of them view themselves as human and yet they can only see the other as human. Chuuya believed in Dazai when everything pointed to him being dead. They're constantly shouting insults. But that's only because Dazai knows how to get under Chuuya's skin. Dazai defected without telling Chuuya. Chuuya had a forlorn look thinking back to that night.
Their relationship transcends words yet they will always consider each other as partners.
39 notes · View notes
aroaceleovaldez · 4 days
Text
finally finished my project of collecting voiceclaims that are as close as i can find for my hcs of the main HoO cast - just for funsies so it's not as perfect as I'd like but whatever, it was a neat exploration and exercise of me trying to think of literally any franchise for voice actors.
Leo got two cause I had trouble of finding good clips for the voiceclaim that's closers to my hcs for him (the second half of his section). Also got to play the fun game of digging through my art for decent doodles of each character.
Also fun fact, I am almost completely unfamiliar with 3 franchises in this video and was just digging for voice clips on youtube. Try to guess which ones.
35 notes · View notes
fortheloveofexy · 1 year
Note
Dude I just saw your tags about Katelyn having a younger sister and you know what you’re soooo right it’s insane. No only child or younger sibling would have been as tolerant and patient of Aaron’s weird relationship with Andrew as Katelyn but an eldest sibling, especially an eldest daughter definitely would be
YES you get me!!
Plus I feel like she'd be like, a little understanding? Of Andrew's desire to protect his brother, even if he's taken it to such a toxic extreme, because she would do anything to protect her own little sister.
Like she wouldn't agree with what Andrew does obviously but she gets it, she understands his motivations. And she'd try to encourage Aaron to repair his relationship with Andrew because she can tell there is genuine care underlying Andrew's actions.
Idk I just think there's like, a universal understanding between eldest siblings that you do everything you can to look after your younger siblings. It's just what you do. And I think Katelyn and Andrew both come to that understanding of one another eventually (Andrew just takes longer bc he's Stubborn)
186 notes · View notes
p4nishers · 7 months
Text
few of my aziracrow hcs throughout history:
in the 16th century crowley started the rumor that dead bodies could cure disease just for fun and it got a LITTLE out of hand when the rich actually starting eating that shit. he got a commendation for it and not only was it weird as hell but aziraphale didn't talk to him for at least two decades bc of it so it wasn't worth it
crowley was exclusively fem presenting in the 1970's and tried therapy that decade in hopes of getting her head screwed on right might make her enough for a certain angel. she ended up only going to 3 sessions and wiping her therapists memory of everything
aziraphale joined the army in ww1 as a medic and healed mostly in france till he was called away to an assignment (keep some promising young priest safe and make sure he ascends to sainthood) which took years and the war was over when he got back
crowley was a plague doctor in the 14-15th century bc he was originally supposed to tempt ppl into death but he could never actually bring himself to do it so he ended up lying to hell and healing/comforting people in their last moments of death. got found out eventually by hell and was kept Downstairs for a few decades in the 1400's. the black death and the famines that followed it after is the reason he despises the 14th century so much (also he just hated seeing aziraphale so skinny and so worried)
crowley invented the flat earth theory and the 'sun revolves around the earth' theory. hell gave him several commendations
crowley was on the titanic and has held a grudge against every single body of water ever since
crowley was friends with mary magdalene
crowley was forced (by hell ofc) to marry one of the lords she was tempting in the late 1500s and she did, reluctantly, until she got so tired of his bullshit she was like 'nah fuck this' and ran away. that got her a few decades of paperwork in hell but really, it was worth it. (the whole time aziraphale wrote her letters and was trying to figure out why he felt so heartbroken everytime he thought of crowley being married to another)
crowley helped put out fires in the great fire of london and when hell reprimanded him for it he made some excuses about helping the rebellion rise among the citizens and everyone hated lord bloodworth, even hell, so he reasoned he should've gotten a commendation alone for annoying the man. ALSO he did NOT lift a finger for the St Paul cathedral so they should be happy with him, really! aziraphale was in france at the time, watching Molière's newest comedy, even tho he barely understood a word.
crowley bleached her hair ONCE in the 1980's and immediately regretted it and miracled it away before anyone could see
crowley tempted one of the man working on the first translation of the bible and added spelling mistakes for shits and giggles
crowley would have married aziraphale in rome
aziraphale used to give rides to crowley back when they rode on horses cause horses canonically hate crowley and aziraphale might've been a smug bitch about it but he still liked helping crowley out. (crowley sat there like a block of salt the entire time and did not think of anything but his hands on aziraphale's waist for months after)
somewhere between 1941 and 1967 crowley confessed or TRIED to confess his feelings for aziraphale but was immediately shut down (even tho az felt the same) bc aziraphale was scared that heaven would find out and that crowley would be in danger. they parted on shit terms after and that's the reason they were so tense with each other in 1967 bc there was already a rejection between them
after the flood aziraphale saved every injured animal that he found bc he couldn't bear the thought of 'wasting' god's 'mercy'
crowley wanted to be a highwayman in the late 1700s but they heard it involved horse riding so they settled for being a footpad (travelled and robbed on foot) for a while and aziraphale disapproved, obviously, but he was no snitch
crowley rescued aziraphale from pirates once (aziraphale refused to part w his books and they were just about to execute him before crowley showed up) with a shitty fucking getaway boat and everything. aziraphale kissed his cheek in thank you and crowley promptly fell out of said shitty fucking getaway boat
in the early days crowley tried to convince himself that what he felt for aziraphale was simple jealousy or obsession with what he couldn't have but sometime after job he gave up
crowley invented jesters. aziraphale was a jester for an assignment (looking after a promising king and making sure he ascended to sainthood) and crowley laughed her ass OFF when she saw aziraphale in his little jester outfit. she still brings it up sometimes and aziraphale ignores her everytime
aziraphale kept bees in the 18th century and, following tradition (i kid u not) gossiped to them about crowley in exchange for honey
when crowley learned of what god asked abraham to do with isaac he was like 'oh absolutely fucking NOT' and 'kidnapped' him (politely asked isaac to come with him somewhere safe). aziraphale came to 'demand' him back until crowley explained the situation, after which he hemmed and hawed until he was like 'well... WELL!!' and stayed to 'watch' over them (make flower crowns with isaac)
aziraphale found crowley asleep on noah's ark with her arms warped around every animal she could reach and felt an emotion he wouldn't name for another 3000 years
aziraphale invited himself over to crowley's to celebrate 1999's new years eve and crowley did the littlest tempting they've ever done so aziraphale would hug one of their pillows all night and after he left crowley miracled his scent to never leave the pillow and still sleeps with it every night and pretend they have everything they want
105 notes · View notes