#yes its a snail yes their name is bun

[quibbs126]

Well alright, someone said yes, so I’ll post the designs

Warning, these are kind of old and not very good art. Or maybe I’m just being self critical, some of it I think still looks neat

Let’s start with the ones that I made look cool and drew both the Stand Human and Human Stand

Unfortunately I could never figure out a Stand design for Okuyasu, so he only has his half done

Why does the lettering actually look kind of cool…like it doesn’t look half assed at all like it normally does. Maybe because I was intentionally trying to make it look cool

I made Joseph a scarf because I remember his scarf being a notable part of his design. Also Hermit Purple was vines, so equal treatment

Giorno looks like that because I recall at the time some people saying how Golden Experience looked like young Haruno but GER looked more like current day Giorno, so I kind of took that idea and made him look like Haruno, though maybe I took things too literal. Also that’s why Oro looks like GER. Also Oro is supposed to have a somewhat unsettling stare, since people say GER looks kind of creepy

Also another thing I want to mention about Polnareff, specifically his name, so that’s not an 80s song, that’s from 2014, it’s the name of a song from a French artist I liked. So realistically it probably wouldn’t be used but I thought it sounded cool. And hey, the song itself samples a Michael Jackson song, so eh?

Anyways, so something I should mention about this style, so at the time I was obsessed with this other artist’s, @droolingdemon style, and I tried desperately to recreate it. I think by this point I just tried to integrate it with my current style, but that’s why the art style looks the way it does. I might make another post about the subject on its own though

Anyways, onto the Chibi style Stand humanizations

I’ll just list some things I remember from their characters

So I did eventually consider turning Purple Haze into a dog, I think specifically a greyhound, but I didn’t know how to draw dogs, so that never happened

Stone Free never takes off those sunglasses and never lets anyone see what she looks like under them. As it turns out, she’s actually blind, and this would be revealed around the snail part in the story (assuming there are still snails), as she’s unaffected, and I believe she’s told to drive a car because of it, but she can’t, and when asked why, she says it’s because she’s blind (and that this was probably a bad time to relay that info)

The three in the last pic are all different characters who end up sharing the same Stand as it gets passed around between them. Whitesnake is part of the prison staff, C-Moon is just an unfortunate young lady who just happens to get stuck with the Stand after something happens to Whitesnake, and Made in Heaven is I think a horse rider who gets the Stand from C-Moon, probably forcibly taking it from her (and she likely dies) as he knows what it is. Also, Whitesnake and Made in Heaven were dating

Oh yeah, also the first Standswap art I did, which was also Chibi style, I just singled it out because of that

Featuring Star Platinum and The World. Not sure I ever found a definitive design for The World, but maybe I did in my sketchbook

Anyways, so then we have some random headshot ones I did

Let’s see, in the first one we have GER looking ominous, Purple Haze, the blushing one is Tusk Act 1, and buns is Ball Breaker. Then for the second one we have Whitesnake, Under World, Killer Queen and Scary Monsters

I believe one thing I did for the Part 7 swap storyline was to have Tusk have a journey of slowly transitioning from a woman as Act 1 to a man as Act 4. I know I’ve drawn Act 4 Tusk but I think it was in my sketchbook, so I cannot show it. Also I believe Ball Breaker was trans too, just male to female, and where Tusk got the idea that you can just be your preferred gender if you want. Also note that at the time, I did not actually really understand how transitioning worked. Though to be honest, I think the main thing was that I didn’t know hormones existed, or that transitioning could be more than just making yourself look like your preferred gender

Anyways, on to Scary Monsters. I believe he rode horseback without a saddle. Also, he started out with one Stand (Dr Ferdinand) but then got another (Diego)

Then with Killer Queen, I believe he was a mute cop. But also secretly a serial killer. Also he might have had a cat like face

And yeah, I think that’s about it, hope you liked it

#I do still like some of these designs #also I still stand by that the Jotaro Standswap one looks great #do I tag all the characters? #eh why not? #but I’ll be tagging the users not the Stands #jojo’s bizzare adventure #jjba #standswap #joseph joestar #giorno giovanna #jotaro kujo #jean pierre polnareff #okuyasu nijimura #diavolo jojo #pannacotta fugo #trish una #leone abbacchio #bruno bucciarati #rohan kishibe #ermes costello #jolyne cujoh #muhammad avdol #enrico pucci #dio brando #johnny joestar #gyro zeppeli #donatello versus #yoshikage kira #diego brando #my art

[rrazor]

hamster town | m. osamu

tags: fluff, hamsters 🐹

“do you have games on your phone?”

osamu peaks at your screen, glimpsing over the reply you’re typing out. he looks up just as you turn to face him, thumbs hovering.

you purse your lips. “i have this hamster game.”

he raises a brow, leaning in closer to you. “hamster?”

you nod as he leans in more. shifting, you lean back. a couple of flicks here and there and the cutesy loading screen pops up. you let him hold it. your knees hit his. you glance down at them and then up at the banking advisor’s office his mom was escorted into twenty minutes earlier.

“what are you supposed t’do?”

you look back at him to see a small pout on his lips. tapping on the screen, you pull up the game’s stages, starting at the first one.

“you gotta draw lines to get the candy to the hamster.”

osamu hums, giving the phone back to you. “that’s it?”

you tap around again. “mm, you can use the stars you get from finishing the rounds to buy furniture for their house and collect more hamsters.” you show him your collection of interior decor and tiny hamsters, earning a couple smiles here and there. you play a couple rounds before angling your device back to him. “wanna play?”

he hums, taking it in his hands. you watch him play a few of the easy rounds. holding the phone with one hand and using the other’s pointer finger, he looks oddly adorable trying to get the pastel pink and meadow yellow swirl candy to the tiny gray hamster named mochi. if only the devs added a renaming feature, you muse.

the hamster on screen smiles happily and bounces with the candy in its little arms.

“this is boring.”

“play level 38.” you pull a packet of orange flavoured tic tacs out of your jacket pocket, tossing two in your mouth.

“what?” he looks over, putting his palm up reflexively as he waits for you to give him some. you drop two into his palm.

“level 38,” you grin. the taste of artificial orange seeps through your tongue. “try doing it without using any hints.”

he looks at you skeptically, but goes back to it anyways, not before tossing the candy into his mouth. you rest against his side, basking in his presence. you can faintly hear one of the customers complain about their monthly fees at the teller and the sliding automatic doors open. you sit up, stretching your arms before digging into the plastic bags at your feet and taking out a carton of soy milk.

“what the hell.”

his brows are furrowed, mouth in a frown. mochi cries as the candy tumbles away and off screen. you feel bad, but not for osamu. you snicker, burying it in his shoulder while he glares at you.

“t’fuck, how’dya get it to him?”

he’s really, really good looking when irritated: the way his jaw tenses, eyes narrow. you sip at the straw, releasing it and offering it to your grumpy, gray hamster in an offering of peace.

“use the hints.”

he takes the carton from you, grumpily sipping away. he gives the phone back to you, leaning back against the faux leather couch as he exhales through his nose. you follow him, resting against his side. his bangs drape to the side of the forehead.

“can we eat the chips?” he mumbles, talking through the bitten straw.

you lock your phone, ending mochi’s suffering. “won’t your mom get mad?”

he grunts, sitting up to scratch behind his ears. just as he does, his mom walks up the two of you.

“oh, i’m sorry that took so long.”

you smile up at her, shaking your head. “is everything ok?”

she returns the smile. “yes, finally.” turning to osamu, she holds out a pair of keys. “do you have your keys with you? why don’t you take her and the groceries back home, i still have to stop by city hall.”

osamu nods, grabbing your hand and the heavier of the two bags. “yes, ma. i think she has the keys. ya sure y’don’t want us t’come?”

“yup!” you pull them out of your left jean pocket.

she shakes her head, neatly returning her keys to her purse. “no, it’s just some paperwork for your dad. it won’t be long.”

you part ways at the bank’s entrance after giving her a carton of soy milk. you walk past the small grocery store, past the pet store, the local pizzeria, another bakery where osamu glances at for a little too long. you spend exactly thirteen minutes at the park where osamu pushes you on the swings and pushes you a little too hard on the third swing back that you nearly face plant into the sand.

“‘samu.”

“hmm?” he looks over to his right and follows the line of your arm down to the cement.

“look: a snail.”

“a snail.” he blinks. “not a hamster.”

“you’re still thinking about the hamster?”

he nods. “can i play?”

you dig your phone out of your pocket and unlock it for him. “don’t trip.”

he hums. he won’t trip because he knows you’ll end up linking arms and leading him back to his house anyways. you do, taking his bag and tugging him home by the elbow.

“we’re here.”

he glances up as you’re opening the door. the bags are placed on the kitchen counter and your phone alongside them as he starts unpacking.

“oh, did you get past it?”

he nods, opening the bag of chips he wanted to eat earlier. all dressed ruffle.

“what was the game called?”

you think. “hamster town.” you grab a few for yourself, following him into the living room. slumping onto the couch, he opens his arms to let your sprawl on top of him. you know he’ll get crumbs in your hair.

as he puts another stack of three chips into his mouth, he considers downloading it himself and then decides not to.

“don’t get crumbs in my hair.”

“huh?” he looks down at you faceplanted into his chest and thinks about the crumbs in his bed. “oh.”

you pout up at him.

“later,” he mumbles. your nose scrunches up. later? like get crumbs in your hair later or clean it up later?

later turns out to be 4:32pm when atsumu walks into the living room. he snaps a photo of osamu asleep with crumbs on the corner of his mouth and you with crumbs in your hair.

you text him that night, tucked into bed, clean and showered after atsumu sends you the photo.

>> (10:41) i’m never buying u chips again

he sends you a photo of himself: blurry, zoomed in with his left hand making half a heart.

>> (10:43) Can we stop by the bakery tomorrow >> (10:44) ma said if we buy 6 buns they dont charge us tax

you reply with an equally blurry, zoomed in photo, hand making the other half of his heart.

>> (10:46) ur paying

#miya osamu x reader #miya osamu #osamu x reader #haikyuu!! #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu #im literally just stringing words together and hope they made sense this fic is so ????lmfaoooooooo

[halcyonstorm]

@levihan-drabbles my submission for Trope Tuesday! 

Word Count: 1474 Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Royalty, Royalty, Light Angst, Forbidden Love, Childhood Friends, Childhood Sweethearts, Levihan Drabble, LeviHan Drabble Week

“Levi, look at this!” Hange exclaimed, pointing to a squirming, slimy bug on the floor inching its way across the cement tiles. Levi crouched down next to her, scowling.

“That’s gross,” he muttered, looking at her curious face.

“I read about these! I think they’re called slugs,” she said, meeting his eyes.

“It’s a snail, I think,” Levi challenged, grimacing as Hange picked it up and placed it in her hand. She taunted him by waving her hand around his face.

“See how it has no shell?” Hange began, gently petting the back of the creature with her finger. “These are slugs.”

“...It’s homeless,” Levi mentioned, almost feeling bad for it; mainly because it was being held by some grubby kid. Hange’s laughter boomed throughout the Zoes’ garden. Levi hid a smile. 

Suddenly, the sound of footsteps got louder and louder towards the two children. They both looked up to see Hange’s father towering over them. 

“Hange, didn’t I tell you you can’t play with sketchy kids?” Her father sneered. Hange dumped the slug into a patch of flowers, never to be seen again.

“He isn’t sketchy. He’s Levi,” she replied, smiling at her father.

“Good to meet you,” Levi said, putting his hand out. Hange’s father crossed his hands across his chest with a “hmmf” escaping his mouth. 

“I don’t want to see you around my daughter again.” He placed his big hand on Hange’s shoulder, pulling her away from Levi. As she walked away, she signed to him “See you tomorrow?” with her hands. Levi nodded vigorously. She winked playfully at him. 

They continued to meet with each other in secret. They’d meet in the well-tended garden, behind the castle, in a haunted passageway where no one dared to enter, pretty much anywhere they possibly could without getting caught. 

The sky was dark blue with the full moon shining light into the haunted passageway. There were floorboards that obnoxiously creaked with each step. Levi sat on the floor with Hange in his lap, playing with her hair.

“Father says in a couple years I have to get married by someone he chooses,” Hange began. “That means I have to wear a stupid white dress with a stupid veil in my hair, marrying some stupid man I won’t love…” Hange placed her hands on his shoulders. “I am going to ask him if I can marry you.”

Levi’s eyes widened, his cheeks reddening. “We are too young to know anything about marriage, four-eyes.”

“We are 16, Levi,” she chuckled. “We’ve been friends, like, forever. Besides, in two years I am to be married anyways. Who says I’ll be prepared for that?” She kissed his cheek softly. They suddenly heard the floorboard creaking from down the dark, eerie hall. Hange and Levi shot upright. Hange grabbed Levi’s hand. “Let’s get out of here.”

Ever since that day, Levi had been showing up to the Zoe estate, offering to help in any way he could. He was dedicated to prove himself worthy of the King’s daughter. Deep down, Levi knew no one would ever be worthy of Hange: the bright and brilliant daughter of King Zoe. Hange had many other brothers and sisters, but she was the youngest and most important to her father. Important only because he had fucked up his relationship with the Yeager’s, his sister-in-law’s family. Hange was birthed solely for the purpose to repair the broken relationship. She was set to marry Zeke Yeager, the Yeagers’ eldest son.

King Zoe humored Levi and allowed him to help out around the castle. He let him work with the servants cleaning the windows, shoveling out the horses’ stables, and tending the garden. After two years of his dedication to working, Hange approached her father the night before the public decision of her marriage, and it was two days before her 18th birthday.

“Father,” she began, closing the door gently behind her. “I was hoping to talk to you about tomorrow—”

“What is it?”

“Well,” She looked at the floor as she spoke. “I was hoping you could consider another marriage candidate. His name is Levi Ackerman. Him and I have been friends for a very long time…”

“That’s the, uh… servant boy, correct?”

“Yes, Father.”

“No.”

Hange’s eyes widened, her face grimacing. “What do you mean ‘no’? Can’t you at least think about it?”

“I did think about it. The marriage has been decided for a very long time now…”

“Very long time? What are you talking about?”

“Don’t worry about it,” He boomed, sounding more stern than usual. “The decision has been made.” Hange felt tears well up in her eyes. She turned around, leaving the study. She began to run. As she picked up speed, her heart began to race faster and faster, her breathing became labored, and tears overflowed from her eyes. She ran and ran until her legs gave out from underneath her. Eventually, her body started to weaken and she collapsed, swallowed by the peace of darkness.

She woke up in her bed feeling exhausted. Today was the day she’d meet the family of her groom-to-be. Tomorrow was the wedding. She called in Nifa, her servant and close friend, to help her with her dress. A light peach dress was picked out for Hange. Hange despised the color and the whole idea of dresses. Nevertheless, Nifa helped tighten her corset and helped her get dressed. Nifa helped tie her hair in a tight bun atop her head with a peach flower sticking out. Hange hated it.

Her heels dully clicked on the carpet as she rushed down to the lobby. In the lobby were her parents, another family of which she was unaware, and some servants, including Levi.

“Miss. Hange Zoe,” Her father began, standing atop the grand staircase. “Please meet Zeke Yeager, your husband as of tomorrow.” He gestured towards a tall, blonde man with circular glasses. He wore a white suit. Hange stood up from where she was sitting to meet Zeke. She put her hand out and he gently kissed the top.

“It’s a pleasure to meet you,” he said, flashing her a smile. Hange nodded in visible annoyance. Maybe if I piss him off enough, he will decide to break up with me. She glanced at Levi for a brief moment. His face was unreadable, which made Hange nervous. 

Later that evening after dinner, Hange sat on a bench in the garden. She adored the garden; it was her escape from reality, even just for a little while. Tears began to flow from her eyes and into her lap. She didn’t want to marry Zeke Yeager as a peace treaty. She wanted Levi. She didn’t care if he was poor. He was her best friend and shit, she loved him. She loved Levi.

“That color doesn’t suit you,” said a voice, their footsteps nearing the girl. She looked up through glassy eyes and saw Levi. She chuckled softly. “You’re the first person today who hasn’t lied to me.” Levi sat down next to her.

“I’m going to be married tomorrow,” She quivers, unable to look Levi in the eyes. Instead, she looks down at the ground. Levi grabbed her hand, squeezing it softly. “You know when I told you I wanted to marry you, Levi? Well, I still do…” She found the courage to look at him. Thank goodness she did. Looking into his piercing grey eyes proved it all the more. 

“Me too,” he confessed. “But, we can’t. And we probably never will…” He placed his hand on her cheek. Her face flushed red. 

“Levi, let’s run away together. Right now.”

The idea made his heart flutter, but he knew she could never disobey her Father. He smiled sadly at her. “If we run and hide, what will that get us? We’d constantly be on the run, constantly looking over our shoulders. He’ll kill us.” She laughed.

“I’d like to see him try.” He knew she was all talk and no action. She would never be able to follow through, and that is what made his heart ache the most. 

“How is Zeke? He seems stiff,” He asked, changing the topic.

“He’s nice... but so bland. He isn’t you, Levi,” She explained, looking at their interlaced hands. She got a sudden burst of courage. “No matter if I marry him or move away, no matter what happens, I will always love you.” Her voice was starting to shake again. She looked back at him. Tears started to well up in his eyes. He brought her face to his, kissing her lips. Surges of emotions coursed through their bodies as their lips meshed together. They pulled away after a moment, foreheads touching. She knew it was hard for him to say what he meant; but after that kiss, she knew he would always love her too.

#levihan #levihan fic #levi ackerman #hange zoe #hanji zoe #levi x hange #levihan drabble week #aot #snk #attack on titan #shingeki no kyojin

[artbyeloquent]

Fashion on the Continent of Kiralli

Part 1: Evel, Gima, and Lus

Below is a transcription + ID of everything on the page, because even if you don’t need IDs my handwriting is a MESS. Long post incoming & taglist below the cut.

Evel

[ Image ID: At the top left, an oblong sketch of a very large fictional country with small upwards arrows to indicate many mountains all over its southern half. It has a single city marking in the southeast, named Zevad. Notes below are written in a small, neat, smallcaps handwriting. ]

Rory’s home country!!

Northern coast, very mountainous

Fashion is very diverse across regions, religions, and families, buttries to blend aesthetics with practicality at every locale. Cotton andanimal hides are very widespread and a big part of the economy.

[ Image ID: a monster woman of the J’liapi species stands in a graceful modeling pose, left arm lightly outstretched. The illustration depicts her from the waist-up in a flowing cotton gown, semi-formal and traditional. It has faint geometrics to indicate embroidery. Per her species characteristics, rubies grow from her face and chest in both veins are crystal deposits. Her ears are long and pointed, and her hair is pulled back in an oblong bun restrained by a decorative netting. ]

Shay, Rory’s sister, in more traditional and formal layered cotton robes.

[ Image ID: a body-less sketch of a leotard, with fishnet tights that meet at the waist. The sketch only goes down to upper thigh. ]

Zevad is one of the more modern and mercantile areas in the mountains (to clarify: the southern region).

Winter fashion saves lives.

[ Image ID: a sketch of Eira, an ice nymph with long, pointed ears and flowing bangs, stands from the waist up in a leather parka, heavily furred on the hood, with fur on the shoulders and a cape attached from the back. ]

Furs, leathers, and layers oh my!

And yes, Eira and all ice nymphs hail from Evel!

Gima

[ Image ID: At the top right, the northeastern coastal country of Gima, vaguely ovular, is sketched with Eos, its capital, on at the very edge of the mid-eastern coast. Beside it, a thighs-up sketch of Rory, another J’liapi, stands with his back to the viewer. Gems grow from his left eye and right shoulder. He is wearing a business casual, long-sleeve blouse, custom-stitched so the fabric does not cover the right shoulder. He is also wearing business casual trousers. His long, wavy hair is up in a pony-tail and he looks friendly. ]

Eos (capital) and other urban centers has very fashion-conscious and modern street style.

Higher income = can spend more at a high-end tailor.

Temperate, coastal northeast.

Lus

[ Image ID: a small, vertically oblong country named Lus has three non-capital cities labeled: Sidek on the eastern border, Ron in the center, and Kyanth in the northwest. To the left is a knees-up sketch of Leila, a Night Witch. She is wearing a long-sleeved top, with a sweetheart neckline and translucent, floaty sleeves that are drawn in by cloth bands at the elbows and wrists. Her skirt has a similar floaty feeling. Her face is joyful, with bangs drawn back behind her back-length wavy/kinky hair. She has a beauty mark under her left eye and beaded jewelry, both a necklace and a pair of dangling hoop earrings. ]

Lus is an arid, central country which moves from savanna at the borders to desert in the center.

Hot in the summer and {addition: marginally) rainy in the winter.

All residents tend toward lightweight linens in the summer and animal wool in the winter.

Loose, beaded jewelry with light metals is preferred over heavy ores or layers.

Even after moving to (the city of) Uzu in (the country of) Quivudea, Leila still prefers typical Lusian fashion!

general taglist (ask to be +/-):

@opes-magnas​ @moononherwings​ @metanoiamorii​ @snail-legs​ @blindthewind​

those specifically interested in this post:

@afoolandathief​ @sinattea @writing-is-a-martial-art​

This was so much fun and I’m hopeful to do this again!

#kiralli #wb: kiralli #kirallian fashion #rory valda #leila sterling #shay valda

[everyone-just-calls-me-jeri]

Order for Three

“Two gowns, seven shirts, seven pairs of pants, a pair of black dress shoes... and a sun hat.”

“That’s correct, yes.”

Sellandus craned his neck as he reached for the hat shelf. In his many years of employment at the Sagelight Emporium, he had come to regret his decision to work customer service at least thirty times over. The patrons irked him on a daily basis, especially the ones that yelled. His employers weren’t much better. He didn’t even want to get started on the stupid Court and their stupid falling stars.

With his height, he easily pulled a sun hat off the shelf and dumped it into the order box with about as much grace as an elekk on stilts. The customer lofted a brow at his actions but didn’t seem too bothered by it. “It really is lovely,” she said. “Green is my favorite color, you know.”

Sellandus did not care.

With a turn of her head, the customer looked to the side, where her companion thankfully didn’t seem much for conversation. She loomed in the corner, green hair pulled into a tight ponytail behind her horns. She was one of those Night Elves who’d been all buddy-buddy when Illidan returned. The fools.

The muscled woman merely glared at him with those empty eye sockets as she scarfed down her fourth snail-ammon roll. A dumb name for a dumb snail-shaped bun, if anyone asked him. Which they didn’t.

No one ever asked the tailoring assistant.

Sellandus knelt down behind the long stretch of shop counter, sliding back the oak cabinet door as he did so. “Gonna run you three hundred big ones. Three hundred twenty-three including those rolls your friend’s been snacking on.”

“It is no problem,” came the reply from the customer. “I promised her as many snacks as she wanted. They are just adorable little desserts, are they not?”

Yeah. Adorable. Sellandus reached behind a row of empty crystal jars to grab a shoebox. He promptly shoved away the black, goopy creature that often used them as a place to nap. He could almost hear the echoing laughter of that creepy, curly-haired Void Elf who let the thing loose in the first place. Sellandus quickly nabbed the box away from the thing, which hissed at him, and he wiped the lingering goo on his orange tunic. The stain would take forever to get out of this type of linen, but that wasn’t his problem. Something to worry about at a later date.

“Delivery will take a few days,” he said as he tucked the black dress shoes into the box. “Where do you—“

“The Cathedral, please,” the customer chimed in, her sharp, yet musical tone. It seemed she was in a hurry. Also very much not his problem. “The name is Sister Varilla,” she added.

Sellandus scribbled the name down on the order form. “Mhm. Sure.”

“You are most kind, sir. Thank—“

“Yep, have a good one.” He shoved the box aside, sliding it next to Ismuth’s weekly order of shirts. He looked down, intending to return to his tastefully trashy romance novel.

She didn’t move.

Sellandus frowned into page forty-nine. He wondered for a moment if she hadn’t heard him. He was about to repeat himself, when the Draenei backed away from the counter. He glanced up, his long, violet hair yielding to either side of his face. Just in time to catch her look of... plain disgust.

The shift caught him off guard. Her deep set frown and slightly curled lip - something about it unnerved him. And then, it was gone.

The customer turned on her hoof. She called out, “Thank you. May the Light bless your sales this day!” in a tone so cheery and just sickly sweet that he thought he’d imagined the whole thing. A chill ran down his spine and he couldn’t exactly place why.

The only thing that shook him from his sudden stupor was the voice of the shop’s owner calling from the top of the stairs. “Sellandus!” came her shrill, distinctly Highborne cry from above. “Where are you with that needle sharpener? It’s been ages!”

Sellandus fumbled, elbowing the needle sharpener in question and sending it teetering off the counter’s surface. Oops.

He felt as though his hand moved through molasses as he made a desperate grab for it. He watched in horror as the blasted thing fell with a heavy thud, and he heard the scraping of metal as a few pieces freed themselves from its base. Sellandus swore.

“Sellandus? What was that noise?”

His head dipped low behind the counter. Looks like I’m on the chopping block next, he thought as he heard the front door creak closed.

#writing #wyrmrest accord #side stories

[therealchoreanese]

Ch. 1 - As Luck Would Have It

A/N: fanfic in progress inspired by @kceedraws‘s prompt & art about this lovely crossover ship, gonna put it up on ao3 soon hopefully

The penthouse was absolutely gorgeous. Wide windows that faced San Fransokyo’s bustling streets on the north wall, a balcony with a table and two chairs overlooking the bay on the opposite side. The tub in the restroom had twenty options of different flower-infused waters and whether or not you wanted bubbles, and the kitchen came with a fridge that could list recipes based on your taste, personal health, and whatever was inside it. Not to mention the flat-screen in the living room, or the marbled coffee table and fancy-looking leather couch, and the bedroom’s silk canopy bed and massive walk-in closet and -

“I can’t possibly accept, sir!” Marinette protested. “This is all too much. I’d be fine at the institute’s dorms, they’re cozy and with enough space for my designing-”

Gabriel Agreste tsked and waved a dismissive hand. “Don’t make a fuss. You’re here on my scholarship, and this is simply a benefit of it. Besides, a dorm is not inconspicuous enough for Ladybug activities. Here, you’ll have all the privacy you’ll need.”

“He’s got a point, Marinette,” Tikki agreed. “On-campus would be the worst place to transform, there are so many things that could go wrong and - oh, there’s even a little bed for me!”

Marinette sighed. If Tikki thought it well, then she definitely wasn’t getting out of it.

“One more thing,” Gabriel Agreste said. “Follow me, ma chère.”

Marinette fell in love the moment they stepped inside - it was a fashion designer’s dream come true. It was the least fanciest room in the entire penthouse, with only five blank mannequins and a worktable and empty racks where fabric rolls were supposed to be. But Marinette could make the space hers, fill it with life and love and all her ideas. And for a moment, she couldn’t speak.

So she threw her arms around Gabriel Agreste and squeezed him tight.

Mr. Agreste blinked rapidly, and he awkwardly patted her shoulder, but he seemed to understand. “Well, then. I’ll leave you to get settled. Keep me updated, yes? If you need anything, do not hesitate to ask.”

After Mr. Agreste left, Marinette fluttered around the suite, doing her best to make it feel like home. She taped pictures of her friends and family next to her bed, unpacked her things - even with three whole boxes of clothes and accessories, the closet still wasn’t full - and spent a weirdly unnecessary amount of time exploring the restroom amenities. She emerged from the tub hours later, the grime of the airplane washed away by a lavender bubble bath. 

“You smell lovely, Marinette,” Tikki complimented. “You know, it really is so kind of Mr. Agreste to do this for us.”

“I know!” Marinette’s voice was muffled by her rummaging through the closet. “Who would have thought that one year after defeating him we’d be here - in America, on a scholarship in his name, and him being a Ladybug supporter. My supporter. It feels almost like a dream.”

“A dream in which Ladybug leaves Paris.” Tikki sighed wistfully. “I wonder how Adrien will do without us?”

“That silly kitty will be fine. He and Master Fu have the other Miraculouses to help them out. Besides,” Marinette added, “’Ladybug’ is looking forward to meeting San Frasokyo’s superhero team on a night patrol. When do you think we’ll get to see them?”

Tikki fixed Marinette with a stern glare. “Not until you’re settled in. You need to adjust to the time zone, and get ready for school, and make some friends who have your back before anything else. I can’t stand the idea of you getting hurt because you feel out of place.”

“Okay, okay.” Marinette wriggled on a jacket. “Done! Let’s go exploring then, Tikki, we can see what’s around. I want to find a good bakery as fast as possible.”

“Homesick already, Marinette?” Tikki teased.

Marinette glanced at the photos on the wall and smiled. “Something like that.”

~

A bell jingled as Marinette pushed the door open to the Lucky Cat Cafe. The large cat above the doorway had reminded her of home - her mother had a statue similar to it next to the cash register. There weren’t that many customers in today, it seemed; but Marinette’s attention was caught by a curious white balloon-looking thing holding a tray of buns. To her surprise, it waddled up to her, and - were those two black dots supposed to be eyes? - it spoke. 

“Hello. I am Baymax. Would you care for a red bean bun?”

“Um, sure.” Marinette plucked a golden-brown pastry from the tray. “Thank you. Are you a waiter, or. . .?”

“I am Baymax,” the balloon repeated. “A personal healthcare companion. I am responsible for the wellbeing of patients assigned to me. Anyone who comes through that door is now my patient. You are my responsibility. Please, follow me.”

Baymax waddled towards an empty table and, with the pace of a snail, dragged out a chair. The scriiiiiiiitch made Marinette wince, but she sat when Baymax looked at her expectantly. It didn’t seem like it could smile, but Marinette thought she detected pride in its voice for successfully taking care of her. She had to admit, it was kind of cute.

“Please take your time to browse the menu. I must report that a new patient has arrived, but your order will be taken care of shortly.”

Baymax shuffled off, occasionally knocking around tables and chairs and a customer, and disappeared into the kitchen. 

“That was so weird,” Tikki whispered. “Do you think all cafes are like that here?”

“I don’t know, but I thought it was funny,” Marinette said as she flipped through the menu. “What d’you want, Tikki? I’ll get it to-go for you.”

Tikki peered out of the bag. “Ooooh, those strawberry cookies look good!”

“Okay, cookies for you, and . . .” Marinette flicked through the pages. “Oolong tea to go with the red bean bun. Oh, just in time! Here he comes again.”

After Marinette had placed her order, she pulled out her sketchbook. It was a new one she’d bought just to celebrate her move to San Fransokyo, its pages crisp and creamy-white. The Lucky Cat Cafe, cute and colorful and beautifully quirky, seemed like the perfect place to start brainstorming new ideas. But she’d just barely touched pencil to paper when a voice called out, “Order for Marinette coming through!” followed by, “Shit, no, Mochi, bad cat - nononono SHIT!” then -

Whump.

CRASH!

Splshhhhh.

A middle-aged brunette poked her head from the kitchen, looking mildly concerned. “Everything okay, Hi - oh. I suppose not. What on earth happened?”

“Sorry, Aunt Cass.” A guy with unruly black hair in an apron looked up at Marinette, soaked in tea and mouth agape, and then at the tray, shattered teacup, and scattered cookies from where he lay sprawled on the floor. “Mochi happened. You okay, miss?”

“What?” Marinette blinked herself out of her shock. “Oh, yes. I’m fine. But your fall looked worse than - oh no, my sketchbook!”

The guy scrambled up and leaned across the table, wincing at the sight. All the pages were soaked and stained brown. Even after it dried, there was no way Marinette could use it. 

“I am so, so sorry about that,” the guy apologized, abashed. “I’ll give you the money for it, no problem. And a fresh batch of those cookies to take with you, since I’m sure you’ll never come back here again. But, uh, would you like to have a change of clothes before you go? We’ve got t-shirts and stuff, totally free of charge, of course.”

Marinette held up a hand, trying to bite back a smile, her indignation and fury fading. She knew she should be angry that her sketchbook was ruined, but it was really sweet that the guy was trying so hard to make up for it. It was hard to stay mad at someone who looked so ashamed of himself.

“It’s fine,” she assured him. “You don’t have to pay me back. I’d appreciate the change of clothes, though. But I’ll pay for them - no, please, if you’re giving me the cookies for free, it’s the least I can do.”

The guy whistled. “Damn, I don’t think we’re ever going to get another customer as nice as you. Too bad you won’t be coming back after this.”

“Nothing could keep me away from those red bean buns.” This time, Marinette did smile. “They remind me so much of home.”

“I’ll let Aunt Cass know, then. She’ll definitely want to adopt you after hearing that.” The guy collected the tray and shards of ceramic, then motioned Marinette to follow him up a staircase behind the coffee bar. “Come on, I’ll get you the clothes. Baymax will take care of the cookies.”

“Are all cafes like that here?”

“Like what?”

“Do they all have balloon robots as waiters?”

The guy laughed. Okay, he was cute when he laughed. Pretty cute in general, actually, with warm brown eyes and bedhead hair and a crooked grin and dimples . . . 

Which Marinette was not staring at. No way. 

“Baymax really isn’t a waiter. He’s a healthcare companion. He just likes helping out from time to time.”

Marinette frowned. “But shouldn’t he be at a hospital or something like that?”

“It’s kind of a long story.” The guy shot her a smile that, to Marinette’s dismay, made her heart flutter. “But if you’re really set on coming back, we could swap next time you’re here. Mine for yours.”

“What makes you think I have a story?”

“That’s what I’m hoping to hear next time I see you.”

How was this bastard so smooth? Just minutes ago he’d been an apologetic, bumbling mess, but now Marinette was the one under the spotlight. Thank God for all that time spent with Chat Noir, or else her face would be as red as a strawberry right now.

“It’s a deal, then.” She stuck out her hand, and the guy shook it.

“Through here.” The guy ushered her into a bedroom, threw a set of clothes at her, and backed out quickly. “Just come down when you’re done. I’ve got to go soon, so I’ll probably be gone when you’re finished, but it was nice meeting you. Well, all circumstances considered. I’ll be waiting on that deal.”

And with one last crooked smile, he shut the door.

Tikki zipped out of her bag, giggling. “Well, he was certainly nice, hm? Not to mention good-looking.”

“Oh, hush,” Marinette scolded. “I barely know him. Besides, anyone that smooth with a stranger? He probably does it all the time. I am curious about Baymax, though. And like you said earlier, it’d be nice to have a friend around.”

“So you’re going to cash in on the deal?” Tikki wiggled her eyebrows. “The way he said it, it sounded awful lot like a date to me. Or, at least, he wanted a date.”

“All I want is a friend, Tikki,” Marinette said, exasperated. “I’ve dealt with enough love problems for the past few years. I don’t need them to follow me all the way to America.”

“Whatever you say, Marinette.” Tikki kept quiet until they exited the cafe, and Marinette was worried she’d somehow offended her Kwami when she piped up with:

“You have to admit, you really liked his dimples, didn’t you?”

“Tikki!”

#miraculous ladybug #marinette dupain cheng #big hero 6 #big hero six #baymax #hiro hamada #hironette #hiro x marinette #disney #idk what else to tag?? #loooots of backstory went into this #i'm invested and i will see this fic to the end #adrien agreste #chat noir #ladybug

[writesology]

you know that episode in krbay/hnk where there was a ghost in the castle? imagine that but the ghost is actually scary and a threat to people-

I’m assuming you’re talking about this episode, and though I linked the English version of the episode, I’ll be using the Japanese sub as a reference for the names, places, etc. It’s a pretty funny episode and it’s been a long time since I wrote anything about the animeverse, so I hope you enjoy the drabble, and thanks for the ask anon :)

“Aah!!! Escargon, get it away from me-zoi!” Dedede shouted, using the snail’s shell as a stepping stool to jump behind his throne and cower behind it.

“Your Majesty, that ghost just wanted you to pay your bills, I don’t know what’s so scary about it,” Escargon sighed, looking at the king. Then he turned around and saw said ghost with a knife in its hand, and he screamed, hiding behind the king.

“Escargon, we’ve got to get out of here-zoi!”

“Just keep jabbering, I’m getting outta here!” Escargon ran out from behind the throne and, along with the king, made a beeline straight for the door. When they got there, however, the door had been locked- and the ghost was right behind them.

“It’s locked-zoi!” Dedede wailed, backing up against the door to face the ghost. “We’re gonna die, Escargon!”

“Escargon, Your Majesty, get down!” A voice commanded from the hall. The pair ducked, and a few seconds later, Meta Knight crashed through the door with Galaxia unsheathed. 

He quickly looked back at the two cowering near the door. “I assume neither of you are hurt?”

“Of course not! But you should’ve come a little bit earlier, His Majesty and I almost lost our lives here!” The snail ranted, his hands waving exaggeratedly. The ghost came closer, and Escargon immediately silenced himself.

The knight sighed, rolling his eyes, and turned to face the ghost. “Yes, well, my apologies. I do live in the other side of the castle. Now, foul demon beast! En garde!” 

Dedede started laughing despite how obviously he was scared. “Now, Meta Knight, don’t be silly-zoi! You can’t hit a ghost with a weapon-zoi!”

“Hmph. Just watch me.” The warrior leapt up and after summoning some fire from Galaxia, slashed straight through the ghost, scattering it. At that moment, Fumu, Bun, and Kirby had climbed through the hole in the door to investigate. The ghost reformed itself and continued its onslaught, slashing mercilessly with its knife. 

“Poyo poyo poyo! Meda-Kni!” Kirby called worriedly as he watched his mentor fight the ghost. 

“Kirby, do not come any closer!” Meta Knight shouted, countering the ghost’s slash with one of his own. “Your copy abilities will not do anything against it!”

Kirby ran forward anyway, trying to block the ghost from attacking the elder puff. “No-poyo poy!”

The knight saw the ghost preparing to attack and he pushed the child out of the way, taking the blow on his sword arm. “Rrgh... this ghost sure does hit hard...”

“Come on, Sir Meta Knight!” Fumu yelled enthusiastically. “You can’t allow this demon beast to roam free!” The warrior nodded, charged some power at the tip of Galaxia, and fired it at the ghost, making it dissipate and the knife crash to the floor.

“Alright, Meta Knight!” Bun cheered, jumping in the air. 

“Poyeah!” Kirby ran over to his mentor, but calmed down once he saw the bleeding gash on the other puff.

“Hmm. No small matter; after all, it is my job. Fumu, Bun, bring Kirby and let’s go.” The knight sheathed Galaxia and jumped out the hole, the two children and puff following him.

“So maybe we didn’t make a mistake hiring him?” Escargon asked. Dedede only got out his hammer and banged the snail on the head.

A few minutes later:

“This is quite a large wound, but you were protecting Kirby, so what can I say,” Fumu sighed, wrapping the gash on Meta Knight’s arm. She secured the bandages and closed the kit. “There! All done.”

“Meda-Kni awright, poy?” Kirby asked, going up to the elder puff.

“Just fine, little one,” the knight chuckled, rubbing the child’s head. “And now all of you can rest easy. That demon beast is no more.”

#ask and answer #anon #drabble #animeverse #KRBAY #hoshi no kaabii #dedede #meta knight #escargon #kirby #fumu #bun #that one ghost that made ddd pay his bills #forgot the name #man it's been a while since i wrote anything for hnk or KRBAY #so yeah thanks for the ask anon! #very happy to write this #also dedede's accent lol

[u1tra-v1olet]

Counterpoint

oh look i made another AU goddamn it-

~*~

Grian let out shaky breathes as he dragged his feet through the freezing snow, a dirty and patched satchel over his shoulders. A glass bottle rattled in the satchel as the liquid inside sloshed around. He would've liked to just carry the bottle but unfortunately his shaking fingers would never allow that.

Deep in the jungle, he jerkily pulled out the vial from his satchel. A bright yellow liquid swished inside and triangular swirls spiraled around. With a single jerky movement, he smashed the bottle on the ground below him.

The spirals floated up from the now-shattered vial and instantly swirled around him into a tornado, slowly covering his vision until it was all just a blur of yellow. He could feel the ground leave his feet momentarily and the air grow thinner before it all rushed back as the spirals faded.

Blinking a few times, he took a brief look around his surroundings. A thick jungle surrounded him amd a strange wooden structure stood before him. It looked like a large snail with a farm spread out on the bay.

"W-what the fu-fuck...?" he muttered with his usual stutter.

"Hello? G? Zed? Any of the blondes?" Grian jerked his head around to face whoever had spoken, his body tense and fingers twitching.

Scar stared at the stranger who faced him. He looked enough like Grian, the sky blue eyes and dirty blonde hair, but was dressed in an open white lab coat with a red t-shirt beneath, bits of snow starting to drip off them. His hair was messy as though he'd never even a brush in his life and his eyes were wide with dark rings under them. A thin pair of black glasses were over his eyes and a tattered, muted green satchel was slung over his shoulders.

Grian was frozen under Scar's gaze, like a prey having spotted its predator. "Wh-who the he-ell are y-you?" he stuttered, not recognizing the gray-haired wizard.

"I'm Scar?" Scar said, tilting his head slightly with a confused expression. "You okay G?" He swiftly jumped off his doorstep, gracefully gliding down with his elytra and skidding to a halt in front of the blonde.

He flinched backwards, accidentally dipping a foot into the water but seeming not to notice. "H-how..." he whispered, ignoring the chill than ran through his submerged leg.

Before Scar could say anymore, a shadow flew above them and a blur of pink skidded to the ground. "Heya Scar!" Stress exclaimed, smiling brightly.

Grian's eyes widened even further and he stumbled fully into the water, fumbling to open his satchel.

"Uh Grian?" Stress asked, a concerned look appearing on her face. "What's with the get up?" She gestured to his outfit. "You turning into scientist Grian?"

The blonde ignored her and whipped out a small polaroid photo, shakily holding it up next to Stress. Grian looked at the photo, then Stress, then the photo, then Stress again. "A-are you Str-Stress?" he asked quietly.

She nodded, confused. "Well yeah! Who else would I be, love?"

"L-lo-ove..." The blonde lowered his arm, the photo nearly slipping from his shaking fingers. "Y-you can't b-be Stre-ess... A-and Sc-Scar would ne-never..."

The two hermits worried glanced at each other. "Stress, I don't think this is Grian," Scar muttered.

Stress nodded in acknowledgement and stepped forward, looking up at the slightly taller man. "Who are you?" she asked, keeping her tone soft and gentle. "I'm Stress and that's Scar." She gestured to the wizard behind her who awkwardly waved.

"I-I'm Gr-Grian," he stammered, trying his hardest to not flinch away from her.

Stress smiled and nodded, tilting her head slightly. "We have a friend named Grian! Maybe you've seen him before? Blonde hair, blue eyes, big red sweater-"

"Short," Scar added, smirking.

Grian jerkily shook his head. "N-never. G-Grian isn't th-that c-common of a n-name though..."

"What's that photo for?" Scar asked, pointing to the polaroid still loosely clutched in his fingers. "You held it up and stuff, but what's on it?"

"I-It's a photo of Str-Stress..." Grian immediately blushed bright pink as soon as the words left his mouth. "Th-that's sounds we-weird! So-sorry, I d-didn't mean- uh, f-fuck I'm... sorry..." He groaned and facepalmed, looking down and trying to hide his face.

Stress just giggled and gently lowered his hand. "May I see the photo?" Grian nodded and jerkily thrust the photo into her hand, fingers twitching as he let go. Stress looked down at the photo.

In it was a short woman with her long brown hair twisted into a braid that coiled up in a low bun, an evergreen crown with sweet berries woven in holding it up. She wore a dark pink jacket with a dirtied fur trimming and hood, and dull green cargo shorts, a white undershirt underneath. Dark hiking boots peeked out from under the pack of wolves gathered at her feet, along with the single fox curled up in the snow. The wolves and the girl were a blur and she was looking off into the distance as though she had been walking.

"That's... not me," she murmured, raising an eyebrow. Scar peeked over her shoulder and he chuckled. "That's sure a glow-up for you Stress."

"Hey!" she protested, giggling and swatted at him.

Grian watched in a silent awe as the two playfully bantered. The Stress and Scar he knew would never talk like this, let alone be near each other without ripping each other's throats out.

"So are you from another dimension or something?" Scar asked, snapping Grian out of his trance. "If you're Grian, and that's Stress-" He pointed to the photo. "-then do you know the other hermits?"

"H-her... mits?" This time it was Grian's turn to be confused, raising an eyebrow. "Y-you could des-cribe us like th-that... b-but we are the C-Counterpoints." He twisted and jerkily flipped open his satchel again. "H-here, I have m-more photos."

Digging more polaroids out of his bag, he shakily held them out for the two to take. "I-I travel a l-lot so I keep ph-photos on me," he awkwardly explained, internally banging his head on a desk.

Scar took one of the photos and examined them carefully. The photo had a freckled blonde lazily stretched across a cloud, his eyes closed and a content smile on his face. He wore an oversized light blue sweater speckled with some pale yellow stars, and white sweatpants. A pair of soft ivory colored wings were folded on his back, slightly obscured by the misty clouds, and a bright halo hovered above his head.

"Who's this?" he asked, showing Grian the photo. "It looks kinda like out Grian actually."

Grian stared at the photo for a moment, an annoyed look passing over his face. "Th-that's Tango... l-lazy little sh-shit..."

"Is this Scar?!" Stress exclaimed, holding out the photo to Grian. A brunette in a pale brown vest over a white long sleeve was standing next to a village house. His vest was held close by thin gold chains connected to small gears and a handkerchief was tied around his neck, overlaying the collar of his vest. A small bandaid was over the bridge of his nose and covered some of the many freckles on his face, and his dark green eyes were looking, mouth open like he was talking.

"Y-yes. You see w-why I d-didn't r-recog-nize you?" Grian retorted.

"Well this is really cool!" Scar commented, taking the Scar photo and looking at it with wide eyes. "I look so handsome!"

"Say, you wanna take a look around the server?" Stress offered to Grian, casting an amused look at Scar. "I wanna hear more about your world as well!"

Grian was quiet for a moment before hesitantly nodding. "I-I guess I h-have the ti-time..."

#hermitcraft #hermitblr #mineblr #grian #grianmc #stressmonster #stressmonster101 #goodtimeswithscar #gtws #counterpoint au

[drabblers]

Three months late

Prompt: Mystique Fandom: Rurouni Kenshin Setting:  Modern AU, Actors. This is part two continuation for the one-shot: “A Comedy of Romance.” The last part was “Goodbyes aren’t always final“. Characters: Kenshin Himura, Kaoru Kamiya, Misao Makimachi  Word count: 3307

<…and if you would like to see more about my interpretation of the character, I would be pleased to do also demos from other scenes. Looking forward to hearing back from you. Respectfully yours, Kamiya Kaoru.>

Kaoru frowned at the email she had written, gnawing on her bottom lip thoughtfully. No, it was as good as it could get, she decided and pressed send. The email left, leaving her to stare at her depressingly empty inbox. Twenty-two applications send, only two replies – and both of them nicely worded versions of “sorry, not interested.”

It sucked to be an actress between jobs, with no good prospects waiting.

True, it was the same for all the starting actors and yes, she knew the industry was extremely competitive. But still, if she just got a chance, a real chance to play a significant role in an action movie… She sighed deeply. Sometimes her dream just felt too distant. Unreachable. Like a mission impossible. But Kenshin had told her that she just had to keep trying and to differentiate herself from her competition the best she could. For example, when she had an option to choose scenes to do a demo for, she should select ones that suited her strengths instead of going for the popular choices.

The thought of Kenshin drove her to check her mailbox’s spam folder, just out of habit. Ads for sunglasses, bags, online shop adds, and nothing else. Just typical.

It had been twelve weeks since the last shooting day party, since that night with Kenshin… since he had left for the Gobi desert. She hadn’t heard anything from him since then. No phone call. No email. No message. Nothing. His shoots for his next movie had supposed to take six to eight weeks, but now… it had been three months. Had she just dreamed that night? Maybe she had been too drunk and just come up with this elaborate make-believe memory and fooled herself into believing that Himura Kenshin had asked her to date him?

Or maybe, there was no self-deceit or mystique to it at all and it was like Misao said, that her co-actor had just made promises to get into her pants and after he had succeeded, he had fucked off to his merry ways and left her reeling.

She shook her head.

No, Kenshin wouldn’t do that. He was not the sleazy type, thank you very much. Which she had tried to explain to Misao as well – but given that her secrecy contract forbid her from mentioning Kenshin’s name until it was officially announced – her explanations had fallen on flat ears.

Kaoru groaned to her hands. She was frustrated and angry at herself, at Misao and most of all – at Kenshin. Why hadn’t he contacted her? It was the Gobi desert, not Mars! They had some form of communication down there, hadn’t they? Even if they didn’t have reliable phone lines or internet, there had to be old-fashioned snail mail or a courier or... something? Surely, If he wanted to, he had to have some way of contacting her?

…If he wanted to.

Gods, that was the one thing the devil on her shoulder kept whispering her. That she had understood the whole dating thing wrong and it was like Misao claimed, that he had just wanted one night’s fun.

No. Nope. She slapped her cheek, as if to drive away the poisonous thought, and rose, heading to her kitchen. Misao should be coming back any minute now and she had promised to cook tonight. Nothing fancy. Just something simple even a kitchen disaster like her could throw on a frying pan and call it dinner.

She lived in a two bedroom apartment in downtown Tokyo with her roommate since University days, Misao Makimachi. It was a useful arrangement for both of them. After all, freelance reporters and actresses shared the same problem: they got paid per project basis.

Kaoru had just gotten the frozen dinner on a pan when out of a sudden, the doorbell rang.

“Wait a minute!” Kaoru yelled, dumping tofu and frozen vegetables on a pan and setting to heat to hot. It should take several minutes to warm up anyways. She huffed, sweeping her hair aside and looked down at her comfortable pajamas. She had not bothered to dress up for the day, after all, it wasn’t like she was going anywhere. Should she change clothes to answer the door? Nah, no need. It was just Misao.

The doorbell rang again.

Kaoru growled. Seriously! Was Misao carrying something large, or just being lazy that she was not using her own keys to open the door?

She pulled the door open, about to say something rude but the words died on her tongue and she blanched in realization…

...and slammed the door shut right in front of his face.

———————————————–

“Oro?” Kenshin blurted, too stunned for more cohere words.

Something slammed against the door with a thud. Her back? Then, her shaky inhale echoed in the silence.

Kenshin lowered his hand and wetted his lips. “Miss Kaoru…?”

“Why didn’t you send a message?” She asked softly. “Even a letter? You had to have some form of communication available, even down there in the middle of nowhere.”

“I… I, ah… Um, one is sorry, that he is.”

“Sorry…?” She asked, taking a pointed pause. “I waited for you. Week, four weeks… twelve weeks and nothing.”

There was hurt in her tone: bewilderment, pain… but also anger. Kenshin squeezed his hands to a tight fist. God dammit! He should have known that man couldn’t keep things professional between them.

He took an inhale, finally gathering himself enough to speak. “This one did send you messages. Every day, in fact. But it seems that they got lost in transit, that they did. This one is sorry, that he is. Miss Kaoru – please, forgive this one.”

Clothes rustled, and something hit the door – her fist? No, her forehead?

He heard her drawn breath. “What happened?” She asked, her voice wavering only a little. “If what you say is true, how can you lose over a  hundred messages?”

“That’s… Um, it’s a long story. A very personal story, that it is.” Kenshin cringed. “But in essence, this one’s interpreter… well, Enishi has a reason for being angry with this one, but this one honestly assumed that he could put his feelings aside and maintain a professional relationship.”

“…your interpreter?”

“Err, yes,” Kenshin said. “This one doesn’t speak Chinese – more than few words, that is – and whenever one does movies with Chinese one needs help with the language.”

The lock twisted, and she opened the door.

He stared at her, drinking in every detail of her. Her hair was in a messy bun, and she was wearing her pajamas and under her eyes, she had dark spots, like she had been trouble sleeping. Yet, despite everything, she looked like home and something in his chest ached. He wanted nothing more than to pull her close and tell her how he had missed her.

“Let me get this straight,” she started, gnawing on her bottom lip. “Your interpreter had a grudge against you? And he took it out by not sending your messages? Did the guy never want to have work in the industry or what?”

“Um, that’s… well, most likely he knew this one wouldn’t rat on him.” Kenshin hazarded, “As this one said, Enishi has a good reason for his anger, that he has. You see, this one, well, one was, but...” He stopped abruptly and looked aside, clearly trying to find the words but failing miserably.

She blinked slowly. “Um…”

Instead of continuing his stammering, Kenshin shook his head and dug into his shoulder bag and pulled out a stack of letters with a huge red stamp with Japanese text for "Return to sender" on them. “This one picked these up at the mail office in China. See the address?”

She took the stack gingerly, turning the unopened stack of letters in her hands. “That’s my name but… what the hell?”

“Enishi did send the letters as this one instructed him to, that he did. He just misspelled the address and when the letters did not reach a proper destination, they were returned to China – and given the distances, this one only found out about this last week, that one did. Note how small the error is?”

“Are you sure it was deliberate?” She asked. “I mean, even to me – it looks like a human error.”

Kenshin exhaled, relieved that she seemed to believe him. “I… Well, could this one come in?” He asked, glancing over his shoulder where a neighbor was peeking from the doorway. “One will tell you, but as it relates to personal history, one would prefer to keep it between the two of us, that he would.”

Miss Kaoru followed his gaze and blanched. “Err, yes – of course.”

She opened the door, wordlessly inviting him in… into an apartment with visible puffs of smoke floating around.

Kenshin stared. “Um-“

Which was, of course, the moment when the fire alarm blared to life, filling the apartment with ear-splitting beeping.

“Oh fuck.” Miss Kaoru said, pressing her hands to her ears. “Wait here!”

And she ran off to where the smoke was coming from.

Too curious to his own good, Kenshin followed her to – kitchen? Miss Kaoru had pushed a frying pan onto the kitchen sink with its contents and all and was staring at the fire alarm fixated to her ceiling like she wanted to smash it to pieces.

No wonder why, like him – she was on the shorter side and the kitchen did not have a convenient a ladder or step-stool. Well, not a stool most people would use to reach high places.

Kenshin grinned and without a second thought, grabbed a chair from next to her small dining table, stepped on its seat, tilted it on two legs and climbed to stand on the backrest, balancing it while reaching to the offending fire alarm.

And there!

Blessed silence.

Miss Kaoru stared up at him, her mouth falling open. “So you really do your own stunts—“

Kenshin covered his mouth with his hand, but couldn’t quite contain his snort in time.

She pouted at him.

And then he really couldn’t help it, but burst into laughter. Gods, her expression! He knew it wasn’t polite – no, it was downright rude but she had an unparalleled ability to make him laugh and forget his worries and stress. It was amazing. Just for that, he would have fallen in love with her…

“Mou! It’s not that funny,” she grumbled. “And get down here before you fall down, break your neck and force me to cart you down to hospital.”

“Sorry,” He straightened and jumped down. “It just seemed to be the fastest way to solve the problem, that it was.”

“I was not complaining.” She grumbled, turning to the offending attempt at dinner.

“Kaoru…”

———————————————————

His voice was soft, gentle when he whispered those syllables. He always said: Miss. He had never called her by her bare name. A shiver raced down her spine and something fluttered at the pit of her belly.

She didn’t turn around. Because if she did… she wasn’t sure what she would do.

Footsteps behind her, and then he stopped, close enough that his breath tingled at her neck. “I… This one missed you.”

She swallowed. “I missed you too.”

He laid his chin on her shoulder, resting his arms around her waist. Not forceful. He was simply there. Warm. Solid. And there. For her. She inhaled deeply, turned around in his embrace and asked, “are we still dating?”

“I… This one…” He frowned. “Aren’t we?” He finally asked. “One means, if you don’t want to…”

“I do!” She hurried to assure him. “I want to. I just, it happened so soon an then I didn’t hear anything from you-“

“One is sorry about that, but there was-“

“I believe you,” Kaoru hurried to interrupt him. “I know you said the whole thing with messages and interpreter spiraled out of your control and I want to know all about it, but before that… I just, are you sure that you want to date? With me?”

He blinked slowly. “Why wouldn’t one want to date with you?”

She looked aside, gnawing on her bottom lip. “It’s, well, you are you and I am…“ She waved her hand, directing his gaze to take note of the apartment’s small kitchen and all signs of student lifestyle style therein. The difference to the standards he was used to had to be obvious. After all, even when discounting the fact that he was a celebrity, he was exceedingly well of man and she… she was just a rookie actress starting in her career with a whole bunch of student loans to pay for.

He took his time studying her apartment from his spot, still holding her in his embrace. Finally, he noted out loud, “It’s homely, that it is. A lot cozier than the apartment this one used to live when he was just starting out, that it is.” He smiled at her, a hint of mischief sparkling in the corner of his eye. “Did you know, this one afforded to purchase a futon only after the Legend of Hitokiri Battousai was published and started breaking the box office records? Before that, one used to sleep curled against the wall.”

“…huh?” Kaoru gaped. “You mean…”

He shrugged. “This one knows very well how difficult it is to start out in this career, that he does.” He drew his arms a little tighter around her and looked at her seriously. “One knows how very proud and self-reliant you are, that one does. But if you ever feel that you could accept introductions or some other assistance one could offer…”

“No!” She yelped. “No, I’m fine. Thanks for offering though.” She mumbled, feeling the heat to rise to her cheeks. Gods, did he think she was asking for help? She wasn’t about to take advantage of him! “I was just…” She paused, and thought through what she had been about to ask which really came down to the question: are you sure that am I good enough for you? And suddenly, she felt very stupid. “It’s nothing”. She mumbled, pressing her face into his shoulder.

The whole time she had known him, Kenshin had been very consistent in his appreciation of her. His glances at her, his constant smiles, the way he always took her questions and concerns seriously and offered any help he could… No, even if she had no idea why he had decided to like her, it was obvious that he did enjoy her company.

“Kaoru…” He hesitated. “Is everything alright?”

“Yes,” She mumbled. “I just feel stupid, that’s all.”

He huffed fondly, stroking her cheek, wordlessly asking her to look up. “You are amazing.” He smiled. “You are funny, charismatic and if one could, one would never again leave your side.”

That last line! Only he could repeat his character’s line at her like they hadn’t spoken those words to each other in front of cameras and five dozen people three months ago!

She grinned, and replied her part, “Then stay.” And rose on tiptoes to kiss him.

He wrapped his arms around her and kissed her back, drawing her to his embrace like they had never parted. They kissed and kissed each other again…

“Kaoru, you are never gonna believe this, but the neighbor’s old lady said she saw…“ A female voice called out, only to turn to a shriek: “Oh my god.”

A shopping bag dropped to the floor.

Kaoru froze and turned to look at her roommate staring at them. Blushing, Kaoru untangled herself from Kenshin’s embrace and swallowed, “Um… Hi, Misao-chan.”

“Kaoru, you…” Her roommate stared. “That’s…”

Kenshin rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly. “Um... Hi, I don’t believe that Miss Kaoru has mentioned me.” He smiled awkwardly, stepped closer to Misao and offered his hand for a handshake, “I am Kaoru’s colleague, Himura Kenshin, that I am. It’s nice to meet you.”

Misao took his hand and shook it. “Uh, Misao. Makimachi. I have heard quite a bit about you.”

“You have?” Kenshin asked, guileless.

“Uh huh.” Misao nodded, her eyes lighting up with unholy glee. “But more importantly, what was with that kiss? Do you kiss all your colleagues like that?”

Kaoru felt like face-palming. “Misao…”

“Hey, hey,” Misao protested. “It’s a valid question! A girl’s gotta know these things.”

Kenshin stiffened. “Uh… No. That’s not the case, that it isn’t.”

“Then, what’s with the kiss?” Misao’s smile had teeth. “Because if you step in Kaoru’s life just when it suits you and end up hurting my friend…”

Kenshin looked at Kaoru, a question in his eyes. Clearly, he wasn’t about to say anything if she wasn’t okay with it.

Kaoru’s heart melted. She smiled, and stepped to his side and wrapped an arm around his waist. “We are dating.” She said to her friend. “It’s a little bit sensitive information, so please could you keep it to yourself?”

Misao blinked. “Okay, if you say so… but, uh, what about the three-month long disappearing act? Weren’t you angry about that?”

Now Kaoru did cover her eyes and groaned into her palm. How often had she talked, ranted and whined about her mysterious colleague that had left of to shoot his film in China during the last three months to Misao? She couldn’t even venture a guess. “Yes I was, but there was a bit of trouble with the interpreter and...” She trailed off, noting how tense Kenshin seemed to be. Hadn’t he said it was private? Given his habit of understating things, it really had to be something he wasn't comfortable at speaking about. She looked at Kenshin and said decisively, “It’s all fine now.��

He shot her a relieved little smile that spoke more than a thousand words.

She had made the right choice then. She exhaled in relief, spun around and grabbed her phone from the kitchen counter. “But before that, perhaps we could order something to eat?”

Misao glanced at the kitchen sink. “Don’t tell me you burned the dinner again.”

“This time it wasn’t my fault!” Kaoru protested, holding out her phone. “Is Chinese fine for everyone?” She froze, realizing the faux pas as soon as she said it. He has just been three months in China. He had to be sick and tired of Chinese after that.

Kenshin grinned sheepishly. “Or perhaps this one could cook?” He volunteered. “You seemed to have planned on having a homemade meal tonight.”

Kaoru’s stare turned to shock.

Even Misao boggled. “You cook…?”

“Sure,” Kenshin quipped back and leaned down to gather the groceries Misao had dropped to the floor.

“Kenshin…” Kaoru hesitated.

“It’s fine.” He smiled at her. “This one enjoys cooking. It’s one of his hobbies even to this day, that it is. Besides, one did interrupt your cooking rather badly, that one did...”

"That's..." Kaoru cringed.

"Please, Miss Kaoru." Kenshin smiled at her. "Let this one do this small thing for you."

What could she say to that? Wordless, Kaoru nodded at him.

In silence, She and Misao settled down to sit around the dinner table and stare the spectacle of international action mega-star, Himura Kenshin unpacking Misao's groceries with quiet efficiency, and them rummaging through their fridge, pantry, and freezer for supplies to cook a dinner for them.

It was quite obvious that he knew what he was doing.

Kaoru gnawed on her bottom lip in silence, and Misao leaned over to whisper to her ear. “Forget everything I said and hold to him for your life. You and him... It's obviously a match made in heaven.”

AN: Happy new year!

#Rurouni Kenshin #Kenshin Himura #kaoru kamiya #kenkao #kaoken #misao makimachi #Rahmakapala's drabbles #AComedyofRomance

[honey-and-mint]

I Baa You

A short story about an exchange between the siblings and their parents during simpler times, where Maeveena is 4 and Ashrani is 14.  Written/Roleplayed by us. 

The story is under the cut;

Tranquilien • Year -64 • Summerbreeze Household 

Spring had brought one of those calm days, where a weather had a soft, seasonal warmth with it as a light wind wandered the streets gently, carrying the scent of blossoms all around the small town. Though denizens were busy with their daily routine, a picnic would be just about right now, or a quick swim by the shore.

It was also a quiet afternoon in the Summerbreeze household. Magistrix Yumana had departed early in the morning with a portal for Silvermoon City, as she did often due the requirements of her work. Her husband, Tiendor left his workshop to his son to mingle and practice his craft among his father's tools, as he occupied his own time in the kitchen making snacks for just what the weather was tempting them for. At that moment, he overhead the excited and quick footsteps of his daughter, who was running towards to the workshop in glee. Tiendor smiled to himself and then continued with his baking.

The little elven girl, not more than a five perhaps, was wearing a green summer dress that matched the fel green of her eyes, and her ginger hair was braided into two small buns. Her freckled face gave a big smile with one or two missing teeth as she stormed into the workshop where she hoped to see her older brother.   "A'ani, A'ani, A'ani, A'ani!!!" She chanted his name, or at least the bit that her tongue allowed for now, in pure delight running to him, "You won't believe what I just learned!!"   Ashrani turned to see his little sister glomp on him, almost with enough force to throw him to the ground, "Oh, Light… What did they put in your head this time?" he said with half a smile.   Maeveena was almost visibly vibrating with sheer happiness, she tried to drag him out but inevitably her foot just kept slipping on the ground till her brother decided to comply, "You know how mom said that I could use her library? So I did!" She said with a breathless speech, if words were to be animals, hers would be the fastest ones in entire Azeroth.   "Sis, breathe. Remember what the healer said," he reminded her, giving false resistance to her enthusiasm. Then he eventually let her pull him over to a space between two abandoned statues, a dracohawk rising and a body lacking the upper half of its torso. However she was eager to take him outside the workshop, talking non-stop about the books in her mother's study and library, she eventually managed to lead her brother to in front of the door. There a sheep, albeit looking very out of the place was wandering aimlessly.   "Look!!" She presented it with utmost glee. It was cute, the sheep too, then Ashrani noticed another one a bit far, then another one and another one. The whole neighborhood was filled with disoriented and confused looking sheep, and only sheep.   "Maev."   "Yes!"   "Did you turn our neighbors into sheep?"   "Yes!"   "Can… can you turn them back?"   "Nope." There was a pause that seemed to stretch in minutes where the only thing that could be heard were sheep.   "I'm telling mom."   "What are you telling your moth-- oh," a voice heard from behind as Tiendor had been looking for them, and he immediately paused staring at the street.   Maeveena turned around, bouncing up and down she chirped at their father, "Papa! I learned how to pomiloph!"   "Yeah," he responded with a less enthusiastic voice with a hint of amusement that he was trying to hide as a responsible adult, still staring at the new denizens of their neighbourhood, he added, "you sure did sweetheart."   "It's polymorph, you dumb nuts!" panic swiped into Ashrani's voice, "How did you even get them all without being stopped by the guard?"   "I pomiloph them too," she then gave a very offended stare to him, "And that's a very bad word, I'm not dumb!"   "You turned the entire neighborhood into sheep, how is that not dumb!"   "If anything, you're too smart for your own good," answered from above the tired voice of their father, "The spell should go out in a minute or two. But you are grounded, young lady."   "I'm not-- wha-- b-but--" Maeevena's face changed from a siblingly annoyance to confusion and sadness in a matter of seconds, "But you said we were going to have a picnic?"   "I know I did, but we can't leave these sheep without a shepherd to watch over them now, can we? Ashrani, help your sister gather them."   "What? Why? What did I do?"   "Nothing. Like you've been doing all day. Help your sister," Tiendor smiled as he retreated back into his workshop.   Another yet tearful, "b-but," came from Meveena like a quiet mumble as she watched their father go back inside. Her shoulders fell, shrinking her already small form further and a sniffle followed.

It was with a surprise yelp that she suddenly felt her feet lose touch with the ground as Ashrani raised her on his shoulders.   "Come on, beanie. The quicker we gather them, the sooner we can go on a picnic," he said smiling. Unfortunately this did not make the desired effect the young elven boy was hoping, losing her footing scared Maeveena and her already saddened state escalated. She stiffened and started to cry loudly, startling all the nearby sheep which caused them to scatter around.   "Crap," Ashrani muttered as he putted his sister down.   "That's a bad word!" She almost screamed at him still bawling her eyes out.   "Come on, Maev, don't cry..." He looked around, nervous, searching for his father. He checked his pockets, to find something, anything that could help.   "Sis, look at this!" he said, raising a rough metallic ring.   "I don't want it," she said between sobbing and hiccups and then with more tears her voice came as a whimper, "I-I want m-my mom."   "Mom will come back soon. I'm sure dad is calling her," he said slowly, reassuring, "But now I'm the one that's sad. Don't you want the ring I made for you?"   She sniffled few times, not really looking at him nor the ring but at the ground, and with a shivering, quiet voice the little elf girl asked, "Is she... is she going to h-hate me too?"   "Mom? Hate you?" he exaggerated the tone, "Maev, she's probably going to be super proud you were able to cast polymorph on so many people. It's more than your big dumb brother ever did," he then squinted, trying to make himself look tougher, "and if she hates you, she'll have to answer to me."   "But you do," came as a smallest noise.   "I hate you? That's new. Why would I hate you?" Maeveena sniffled again and wiped her tiny nose with the back of her tiny hand, "You called me bad words."   "That's not hate, beanie. That's annoyance. It's different," he sighed, then suddenly looked back to the sheep, "Did you turn the baker's daughter?"   She nodded with another sniffle, "I don't want to be dumb..."   "I'm going to tell you a secret. If you did turn that girl into a sheep, you can say your brother kissed one." His sister made a disgusted face at him, between her tears, "Eugh, gross!!"   "I know, right? The strange thing is... I kinda liked it" She wrinkled her nose at him and continued to look very queasy about the subject but still asked him, "Why?"   "It felt... good. We were just talking about stuff and suddenly we're hiding in an alley, kissing. It was nice," he said, idly playing with the ring.   "Did you wash your mouth?" She blurted out looking at him like he just ate a mouthful of living snails in front of her.   "After breakfast, obviously. Did you?" asked her with an exaggerated inquisitive look on his face.  "After the kissing!" She squeaked, "I meant after kissing, did you wash your mouth!" He pretended to think deeply for a few seconds. "No, I didn't. You think I should have?"   "Yes!! It's gross!!"   "Ok, fine. Next time I find myself kissing someone, I'll wash my mouth immediately after. But, you have to promise something in exchange."   She sniffled her nose, her tears had been long dried on her face, "What?" Ashrani raised the ring again. It was a simple band of steel, polished in the interior so that it was comfortable to wear, but the outside was covered in a web of reliefs where the hammer had bent the metal.     "You'll wear my ring."   "Fine," she said to him and put her hand forward with her fingers spread open.   "Allow me, your majesty," he said, gravely, as he delicately held her small hand and put the ring on her index finger. It was too big for her. As soon as she moved her hand, the ring almost fell, "Wait, I have a solution," he pulled a leather cord from his vest. "It's only temporary" he said as he pass the cord through the ring and tied it into a makeshift pendant. "We'll get you a better chain or cord, but for now, this will do," After he offered her the ring, she nodded and turned around for him to put it around her neck and tie it.

Meanwhile, in the distance, people already had been returning to their normal forms and wander around cluelessly as Maeveena's spell had lost its effect some time ago.

  "Hey, sis. How about we get inside and grab something to eat? We can go have that picnic if you'd like."   "What about the sheep-people?"   "They're going back to be people now. It's okay," said a feminine voice behind them. The sibling turned around to see their mother, in full Magistrix Regalia stepping from inside their home. "Your father tells me you turned the town into a sheep farm today, Maeveena."   The little elven girl looked at their mother and then back to ground, "I didn't mean to hurt them, mom, I'm sorry."   "You didn't hurt them, dear. They'll be confused for a bit and then they'll get back home," the woman smiled proudly. "Tomorrow, though, you'll go around town, telling everyone how sorry you are. And no casting spells on our neighbours again without asking them first," she then kneeled by her daughter to be on the same eye level with her, "But I'm very proud of you. I couldn't have done this at your age," and she pulled her in a tight embrace.   Maeveena let out the smallest gasp and wrapped her arms around her mother's neck, "I promise, I promise," she said, little one had forgotten all the worries and things scared her today. Yumana smiled and her gaze fell onto her son, then without letting her daughter go she reached for him and gently cupped his chin. After that she picked up the little girl who was telling her in a hushed voice how she had found the spell and learned it.   Ashrani watched relieved as their mother took Maeveena back inside. He stayed outside a few moments longer before stepping in to join his family.

#World of Warcraft #Blood Elf #Sin'dorei #Polymorph #RP Logs #Tales from Azeroth #by Del #by Fabri #Tranquilien #Ashrani Winterchill #Maeveena Summerbreeze

[junker-town]

10 sports that ‘SpongeBob’ invented, ranked

The goat of Nickelodeon shows is timeless.

SpongeBob SquarePants was Nickelodeon’s best show because of its clever writing and unforgettable characters, but we shouldn’t forget the wild, made-up tests of athleticism constantly on display in Bikini Bottom.

10. Imagination Box

What is it: You sit in a box and pretend there are sports.

Best line: “Imagination.” - SpongeBob

Watchability: 1/10

Why: Too real. Requires a lot of weed.

9. Wall Painting with Obstacles

What is it: Painting a wall covered with framed photos and other mementos. While repainting Mr. Krabs’ house, SpongeBob and Patrick accidentally splash paint on Krabs’ first dollar earned at his restaurant.

Best line: “What could be worse than a giant paint bubble?” - SpongeBob “Two giant paint bubbles.” - Patrick

Watchability: 6/10

Why: Too much anxiety. Lots of sweating. Lots of crying. Not sure I could do it.

8. Snail Racing

What is it: Literal snails racing. SpongeBob pushes his pet snail, Gary, too hard trying to beat Squidward’s snail, Snellie. They both lose to Patrick’s pet rock.

Best line: “Squidward ... Tortellini!?” - Squidward Tentacles

Watchability: 15/10

Why: Snail racing is intense in the same way marble racing is intense. It’s interesting for a minute, but there’s no real drama.

7. Fancy Bubble Blowing

What is it: Blowing ridiculously large, detailed bubbles. SpongeBob blows bubbles in shapes of elephants, ducks and boats. Squidward doesn’t blow a single cool bubble.

Best line: “Stomp on your right foot. Don’t forget it!” -SpongeBob

Watchability: 30/10

Why: Big bubbles sound fun until they pop. They’d probably keep me really entertained, but only for like seven minutes, because they’re bubbles.

6. Fishhook Riding

What is it: Sea creatures ride on fishing lines and jump off before they get caught. Patrick convinces SpongeBob to take a work break to meet him at the carnival (spoiler: the carnival is hooks). Patrick is caught and turned into tuna.

Best line: “Mother of Pearl. Fire on the poop deck.” - Mr. Krabs

Watchability: 50/10

Why: This is almost too intense to be enjoyable considering the loser gets eaten. BY US.

5. Alaskan Bullworm Fight

What is it: It’s a wrestling match with a giant worm. Sandy Cheeks, Bikini Bottom’s best all-around athlete, takes on a giant Alaskan Bullworm that was eating everything in town. She won ... until realizing she only, uh, beat its tongue. The bullworm eventually fell off a cliff and crushed most of the city.

Best line: “Let’s take Bikini Bottom and push it somewhere else.” - Patrick Star

Real life watchability: 70/10

Why: Wrestling a giant worm underwater? Not my first choice, but I’d pay to see it.

4. Krabby Patty Contest

What is it: It’s a contest to see who can make 1,000 Krabby Patties first. SpongeBob loses to Atlantis’ best fry cook, King Neptune. But because Spongebob’s single patty didn’t taste like trash, he ultimately won.

Best line: “I think I’d like to try it a second time.” - King Neptune

Watchability: 105/10

Why: Food quality doesn’t matter in this event, and that’s the best part! Cooking for sport sounds hilarious. Bake-off without the taste meaning anything. Speed frying! Look away, FDA.

3. Anchor Toss

What is it: The anchor toss involves Bikini Bottom’s strongest residents competing against each other to see who can throw an extremely heavy anchor the farthest. (Sandy won.)

Best line: “I was a wimp before anchor arms. Now I’m a jerk and everybody loves me.” - A shark on TV

Watchability: 120/10

Why: Ripped fish chucking iron. Give me an oxygen mask and I’m going under.

2. Fry Cook Games

What is it: It’s an Olympic-style competition of undersea activities including the Fry Pole Vault, the Chocolate High Dive and Bun Wrestling. Patrick and SpongeBob compete against each other and eventually draw a truce.

Best line: “My name’s not RICK.” - Patrick

Watchability: 150/10

Why: The Olympics but for sea creatures. Hell, yes.

1. Jellyfishing

What is it: The objective of jellyfishing is to catch as many jellyfish as possible without getting stung. A popular sport in Bikini Bottom, it was introduced in the first season when SpongeBob and Patrick try to teach Squidward how to do it.

Best line from the show: “Firmly grasp it.” - Patrick

Watchability: 200/10

Why: Jellyfishing rules because it requires developing a precise technique and being a master strategist. Do you run directly at the jellyfish? Sneak up on it? How do you protect yourself from getting stung?

Entertaining. As. Hell.