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kienansidhe · 3 months

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hi, im kienan! im the current host of the disaster hearts system. we are a korean american body with dissociative identity disorder and have had multiple diff hosts over the course of this blogs run. i or some variation of me have been host since around 2017-18ish. for transparencys sake, the body is 25+. do not ask abt age specifics please.

we are a survivor of csa trauma, parental abuse, religious and cult abuse, and generally very traumatized, and our experience of life is irrevocably colored by that lens.

we are disabled and unable to hold a job ever since we got long covid in april of 2020. we are fully dependent on our partners, working on our disability application, and still coming to terms with the reality of being probably permanently disabled.

unless otherwise specified it is probably some variation of kienan speaking.

-♡♡♡-

i, kienan, am queer and i prefer to be addressed by strangers with he/they/it or fae/faeself pronouns. i dont rlly care which of those you use, tho, no need to rotate or anything.

some other labels that generally describe me: nonbinary, transmasc, gnc, cuntboy, [redacted], [redacted], femme, femboy, genderweird, bi, aro/ace with a couple exceptions, sex favorable, kink obligate, freak, degenerate, pervert.

i currently have 4 partners, referred to here as prettyboyfriend, nesting boyfriend, girlfriend/daddy, and moirail.

no dni, i think theyre stupid and the only ppl i would not want to interact would not respect dnis anyways lmao. if i have a problem with you i will just say so or block you or whatever.

some of my beliefs and what to expect on this blog are under the cut.

i believe in rehabilitation and compassion, full stop. yes, even for those people. i think that othering and dehumanizing others sucks, that thoughts do not define you (yes, even those thoughts), and that the only thing that matters is your actions.

i think callouts are never helpful, ever. ive literally never seen one do anything helpful or good.

i try my best to interact with others in good faith, and i expect the same in return.

we were homeschooled in a cult and our education was heavily ~moderated~ to keep us brainwashed, and every time i think ive rooted out all the misinfo new stuff comes up. please be patient with me if i ask stupid questions, i literally am stupid. i have so much literal actual brain damage. i will do my best to be open minded, i rlly want to learn!

i believe that the best ways to combat csa are better sex education, breaking down the sanctity of the nuclear family, youth liberation (more legal rights and self advocacy for children), and not clogging child abuse report portals with fucking fictional art, jesus h christ.

medicalization of identities sucks. sysmeds, transmeds, im sorry youre miserable but thats not an excuse for trying to make everyone else miserable with you.

labels are only useful insofar as they help you connect with others like you and form solidarity in order to combat systemic oppression. if labels make you angry or miserable, consider not taking them so seriously.

its okay to just dislike ppl. its not always that deep. trying to come up with moral reasons to justify disliking ppl is rlly fucking catholic.

dont talk to me abt christianity. im aware that my trauma affects my ability to be compassionate in this area, so im staying in my lane. in fact probably dont talk to me abt religion in general.

im not a proshipper or an anti i touch grass <3, HOWEVER:

antishipping / purity politics / anti-kink / whatever you wanna call it, ppl equating fictional depictions of Obvious Bad Things with condoning, supporting, or normalizing them in real life are fucking stupid and have done unbelievable amounts of damage that has now reached far beyond fandom and kink circles. get a life, for fucks sake.

ppl who call themselves proshippers and then go around harassing antis are fucking stupid and have lost the original spirit of the term proship / anti-anti, which hinged around not harassing or harming others over fiction. get a life, for fucks sake.

just be kind. dont be a dick. treat others how you wanna be treated. we are all traumatized but thats not an excuse to be cruel. leave the world better than you found it.

youre gonna make mistakes. you just are. youre not perfect and also the world is complex. remember that you cant help everyone. try your best but dont lose yourself in the process.

art is everything. the act of creation is holy. more progress is made by creating -- building communities, making art, growing plants, building houses, building relationships -- than by tearing things down. there is probably a time and place for violence, destroying oppressive systems, bombing weapons factories, but if we arent creating a positive, healthy society alongside the destruction we are just leaving fertile ground for new oppressive structures to take root. create. create. create.

-♡♡♡-

many hosts has left a chaotic mess of tags on this blog but here are some we use pretty consistently:

#headspace: original posts. diary rambling, random thoughts, actual semi coherent opinions, anything

#my face: the body

#humans are good actually: reminders

#recovery things: mental health help

#important: there is so much stuff in this tag

#bookmark: too much here too lol

#feel better: just fluffy stuff

#vine: general funny video tag

#about, #me kin id, #i ghostwrote this post: stuff we relate to rlly hard + uquiz tags lol

#posts that are funnier when plural

#pinned #headspace #my face #humans are good actually #recovery things #important #bookmark #feel better #vine #about #me kin id #i ghostwrote this post #posts that are funnier when plural #sorry this is so long idk how to make things not long #will probs edit as i remember stuff

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tutuandscoot · 10 months

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Ok my beautiful people! I have a bit of a treat for you today (we’ll idk if it’s a ‘treat’ like a good thing/ like something y’all want but.. anyway).

Since I’ve been feeling incredibly guilty over not posting regularly lately (soz..life/mental health/my love of sleep) I’ve got a new kind of post for you today that I’ve kinda wanted to do for a while but didn’t really have the balls to/not sure if it’s what people want/turn out good.

So. I FINALLY found a working link to Prince at 2017 nationals! Its not on yt or vimeo or any other standard video site and i just randomly stumbled across it in this master post (i will be spending some time working my way through all of this). So THANK YOU OP.

So i thought it would be fun to do a little live commentary/first reaction video since i cant do this on any other comp skate bc i think ive seen them all! (Other than bby/junior vm comps).

I apologise for the voice reveal in advance and if the quality is trash.. its my first time doing this:

So here it is with my commentary below. And here is a link to the actual video with TSN commentary

https://vimeo.com/844170347

*writing this next part after recording it:

•I’m sorry I didn’t realised I said ‘like’ so much but I didn’t say ‘um’ as much as I thought. so I’ll work on that.

•apologies for the scratchy sound the whole way through I was playing with my earphone mic

•Things I didn’t say watching it that I’d wish I had:

-FUCK, Tessa just looks so damn good in that costume. Like her L E G S. the quality of her leg extensions and toe point- like she doesn’t have the longest legs in the world but in this they do look so long.

-Scootie is precious AF in this whole thing- esp the K+C when the score comes up he was so excited and happy bc he thought maybe it wasn’t good with the music being wrong/twizzles sloppy

-Hip hop isnt my thing (knowledge wise) so there wasn’t a lot of technical/dance analysis that I would maybe do in more balletic/contemporary programs

-I know WP and CP were still to skate so the gap would shrink but can we just take a moment for the 22 point gap between them and the next team!

- I say in it it’s great how R+T don’t talk through the program but I wish they’d shut up when VM are in the k+c so we can hear them.

SO, if y’all found that interesting/bearable I’d love to do more but won’t bombard you with them if it’s not what people want- I love writing detailed posts and still plan to do that bc I don’t speak anywhere near as eloquently/comprehensively as I write, but these are quicker (but more expensive) to make and I guess I naturally would say things out loud that I don’t think to write and vis versa, so it could be good for that reason (for myself as well seeing what I pick up on in the moment). So even though all the others won’t be ‘first reaction’ videos I think it still might be fun. I would also be SUPER KEEN to do a group commentary with some of you fine people, after I watched this one, getting others takes live I think would be really cool.. but we can get to that later/work it out if anyone is interested.

Let me know what y’all think of this please. Again, soz for the voice reveal, the ‘shits’ (yes, I swear). Hopefully I can do some more nuanced ones in the future with more practice.

#also I just paid 17$ to Vimeo to upload this so pls say u want more so it’s worth the 17$ a month #not uploading to YT to avoid copyright #sd: prince #own commentary

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alegator · 6 days

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hiii everyone :D i miss tumblr so bad and the ability to make long form blog posts ugh twitter is not the same plus the site and app are literally so shit. even though the tumblr app is not much better sometimes!! ive decided i want to post more on here to continue my little virtual diary…. I love the tagging system and most of all, love being able to look back and read my own updates!!! it’s crazy how it can help me recall the exact feeling of that moment… it feels special :) Twitter is great for quick fleeting thoughts so i wanna make lengthy life posts on here as a little time capsule, so i can have fun looking back and reading all my posts 10 years from now (if this site still exists. but i joined in 2011 and its still here so who knows). plus ive been posting my entire life on here for YEARS so who cares i will be vulnerable and over share and shit!!!!!! as is tumblr tradition… fuck it if youre my cousin on my homestuck side you can have my SSN.

moving on, here are fun life updates:

- celebrated my 11th anniversary on Feb 14th with the love of my life, Tenma!!!! i have been affectionately calling it the 7/11 anniversary since it’s been 11 years together, but also 7 years married 🤯 it actually fucks me up so bad that 2017 was 7 years ago like. genuinely lol FUCKKK HOOWWW 2017 should’ve been like 3 years ago. we choose to get married on the same day Tenma asked me out, which is also Valentine’s Day, and it was the best decision of all time for SO many reasons. maybe i will make a fun big post detailing those thoughts that another time!! we spent our anniversary day trying out a new coffee spot (so cute and SO pink omg), taking photo booth pictures at a new spot, exploring cute shops, and having an insanely delicious set menu i think maybe 6 courses? at a very fancy restaurant. i think 3 years ago we tried a new restaurant on our anniversary w their set Valentine’s Day menu course and it was so good, fun, and the best way to try out new foods so we’ve kept it going and i LOVE IT!!!!! i am already excited to see what tenma picks out for next year lol. finished the night by watching In The Mood For Love at our favorite local movie theater and i LOVED the movie, the whole end until bedtime we were just talking about it and dissecting it together. i love our life!!!!!!!!!

-tenma and i went to disneyland at the end of February for our anniversary trip!! ive gone before but they haven’t. IT WAS SO FUCKING FUN i am not a Disney fan at all but i love disneyland idk it’s just fun as fuck… um my feet were fucked afterwards lol but so worth it. one day at disneyland and the next at California aventure i wanna go back already but most importantly, tenma was already talking about wanting to go back and that makes me so happy bc it means they really enjoyed it!!! yay!!!! they even went on rides they thought were really scary just so we could try them together just once and that filled my heart with joy. then we also got to meet my online friend and had hotpot together. DELICIOUS i want to go back and explore LA next time and see more friends!!!! we are maybe planning a trip to San Fran in a few months though as the consulate is there to get my passport so that will take priority over any other trips☝🏼

-I GOT MY GREENCARD YEAGHHRHRHFJF!!!!!!!! ok actually i got it last year lol i wasn’t sure if i should put that on here but actually im so happy so fuck it!!! and then we celebrated by having a fancy dinner and I shared the news w the waiter who said he also did the same process w his wife! and yes i cried when i got my greencard idc i am HAPPY! crazy bc i got DACA for the first time in 2013 and then in 2023 i got my greencard… it’s been a fucking rollercoaster. and tenmas been there literally every step of the way…. Tenma is my rock I love them so much im crying typing this bc of how much i love them and how much they always support me and augnfngnfmg

-concerts this year have been Sonic symphony, kikuo/bo en/gus, Hannah Diamond, and hatsune miku (mikuexpo 2024)!!!!!!!! i loved all of the concerts genuinely so fun and next month i am taking my youngest sibling to a concert of a guy I don’t know but they love him so we will go and have a blast 🫡 idk if I’ll buy more tickets to more concerts but even if I don’t, it’s been a really really good year concert wise and i got to experience so many fun shows i never thought i would see live before!!

-spent time with lovely friends and celebrated old friendships and new ones yaaaay i love my friends and im blessed to have a good support system and I can’t wait to see what new friends I make in the future….

-I have a cold rn and took nighttime meds and unfortunately they are starting to hit so it’s time to say goodnight to tumblr…

If you read this far ummm ok weirdo… lol just kidding but i will try and post my lil life updates and pics more often so that not all my posts are like. months worth of writing… or maybe I won’t and the next time I make a post will be in a year idk!!!! this site is full of so many memories both good and bad and it’s dear to my lil heart, even if the feel isn’t the same since everyone mass migrated to Twitter, I want to come back here more often and make new memories whenever I can. goodnight 💤

#gatortext #such is life as ale #lol I haven’t used that tag in so long the last post on there has me gagged like. WHAT

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moonpaw · 1 year

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you literally could not be more wrong about cecil, he has popped up on my dash at the LEAST expected moments over the last decade (yes ive been here more than a decade). i havent listened to an episode of wtnv since at LEAST 2017 and ill still come across posts of him all the fkn time. on this site, cecil deserves to win more than any other mf on that list.

Ah but you've listen to it, I haven't and therefore should've been annoyingly aware of his presence from the perspective of someone who's never consumed any content from the fandom, all the other sexymen fell into this category

#mp answers #instead my expirence was oh welcome to nightvale is a podcast and nothing else #not even a clue who the characters in it were

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catnipsims · 11 months

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BESTIE @aliengirl tagged me, thankou !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sims Tag

1. What’s your favourite sims death? The city living pufferfish one 😭 its kinda silly hgishughuhdg

2. Alpha CC or Maxis Match? well i used to be maxis match but idk anymore hiushguriugiosrhig alpha cc is so pretty on the previews but often looks... crunchy????? in game... so i guess i tend to stick to mostly mm???

3. Do you cheat when your sims gain weight? I've never played far enough of any household to notice weight gain 😭😭😭

4. Do you use move objects? GIRL YES 😍😍

5. Favorite mod? i CANNOT live without more columns in cas & no cc wrench 😭😭

6. First expansion/game/stuff pack you got? first one i got back when my game was still a legal copy was city living !

7. Do you pronounce “live mode” like aLIVE or LIVing? LIVing !!!!!!!!!!!!!

8. Who’s your favorite sim that you’ve made? i have an unhealthy attachment to veronique, the model sim i made back in 2020. (Shes the one i used to model my recent Octavia hair) her tag

9. Have you made a simself? yes on multiple occasions 😭here

10. What sim traits do you give yourself? I just choose random ones most of the time???? but after checking creative seems to be a common one??

11. Which is your favorite EA hair color? Oh the fourth one, that new warm brown one, i keep needing to restrict myself from using it on every single sim i ever make....

12. Favorite EA hair? really love the short parted one from the free update back in september?????? of 2021

13. Favorite life stage? the few times ive tried playing in live mode its been young adults so that one????????

14. Are you a builder or are you in it for the gameplay? im only ever really in cas eiughisghiruhg. i build sometimes but i really never play in live mode so i guess builder????????????

15. Are you a CC creator? well im supposed to be but cc creating is just on the backburner rn 🤭 also bugfixing gives me anxiety

16. Do you have any simblr friends/a sim squad? i have the 5-ish mutuals that i keep harassing with my silly comments, but definitely no full on squad

17. What’s your favorite game? (1, 2, 3, or 4) ts4 was the first one i got, and the only one ive really played, so i guess that one

18. Do you have any sims merch? nough 🥰😍🤪👍

19. Do you have a YouTube for sims? i tried and forgot about it 😭😭😭 so currently no

20. How has your “sim style” changed throughout your years of playing? i think i used alpha cc back in like 2017????????????? and then i transitioned to my hardcore maxismatch era back during the early times of this simblr if you were there no you dont i ate your memories of me and now its just all over the place (maxis mix????????? idk)

21. What’s your Origin ID? i think its just catnipsims????? i could be wrong but i dont use the gallery anyway....

22. Who’s your favorite CC creator? oh thats a difficult question 😭😭 id say @pralinesims, @simandy, @clumsyalienn, and @marsosims !!!!!!!!!!

23. How long have you had a simblr? since summer of 2019 i think???? yes i was 12 dont bully me

24. How do you edit your pictures? editing???? never heard of her.... no but i use photoshop for whatever minor adjustments i want to make through liquify and adjusting contrast and whatnot

25. What expansion/game/stuff pack do you want next? any occult related anything will fullfill my sim creating needs 🤭🤭

25. What expansion/game/stuff pack is your favorite so far? since im so rarely in live mode i dont really have any opinion on gameplay ghihuighruie but i really really love the aesthetics of snowy escape in like every aspect but gameplay (cas, buildbuy, world etc.)

tag @barbieaiden, @marsosims, @eva-andsomenumbers, @avornalino, @woosteru, @ravensim, @wastelandwhisperer / @adrasteamoon, @radical-sims, & @chelseasasimmer and anyone else who i forgor 😭😭 sorry my brain is not the best

#tag game #simblr

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mickcedesamgf1 · 2 years

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hold on (heaven is a place not too far away) – sebastian vettel

AN: hello to my eight followers :D justin bieber is apparently really popular with my work, because 'hold on' (amongst many others from the same album) are on the official playlist of my workplace, which is the same Every Day. so finally, after working for a Month, the song is stuck enough in my head to want me try write again after my last writing attempt was literally five years ago.

as a relatively new f1 girlie i hope you take my characterizations and interpretations of relationships with a grain of salt (or just directly see it as an au if that works better for you).

definitely not beta read & this is the first time ive written since 2017 & english is not my first language so pls bare with me CTFVZGBHUNJ

so much stupid blah from me again, sorry. anyway, here you have my take on a seb retirement fic because i will miss him sm lol

warnings: angst???? will make you miss seb?

Yes, starting his career in Formula One, Sebastian had known somewhere deep in his brain, that this path would not last as long as some others. Whereas his old schoolmates would work until their sixties, sports were cruel, fast-paced and demanding, resulting in insane amounts of physical and psychological strain that would eventually get too much to bear, too big of sacrifices to make.

But when you are young and starry-eyed, the idea and taste of success were your priorities, were what kept you going and what kept you challenge yourself to leave your comfort zone, pushing yourself to new limits and creating new boundaries. There is no time to worry about your future when all you could focus on are success, success and success. The goal of being successful is what drives you, makes you; success is the air that you breath – until one day, you wake up and realize that your tunnel vision focused on success made you ignore and neglect so much of what makes life actually worth living.

One day, you wake up and realize how much you're missing out on. How maybe, just maybe, your glory days are part of the past now and not something awaiting you in the future. And then you realize that it's all okay because at least you got to experience success and let yourself bathe in the feeling, that you should be grateful for what memories you hold and just... move on.

At 35 years old, Sebastian Vettel realizes he may have been all over the world but never really truly seen much of it due to the strict schedules and plans of the Formula One world. He realizes that while for success, not seeing his family was a price he paid diligently in the past, it does not mean that he wants to continue this way.

He realizes that while his past success had been, is and will always be part of his Formula One journey, it is a separate entity next to his love for Formula One and the people he has the pleasure of meeting through it.

So while Seb knows that the right thing to do is moving on from his hunger for more success on the grid, that he still has so much more to explore, he still knows that his love for Formula One and the connections to people that formed due to it are things he will definitely hold on to.

Daniel, Jenson and especially Lewis are part of a long journey of discovering who he is as a person – high highs, low lows and all the weird in-between phases that are part of Seb's past are also woven into the lives of these three men after more than a decade spent together, no matter how close they are at the moment. They had been there at some of the most crucial moments that still shape Seb to this day, and Seb wants to believe that this is the same for them.

Choosing to retire had been a hard decision to make, but Seb had known that the sport would be in good hands, regardless. Daniel and Lewis are still there and Jenson pops up more than just occasionally – Seb thinks that maybe he could get to love the life at the circuit but off the paddock, too.

Not to mention the future of racing – Charles and Mick, especially. Stepping out to give a young talent the same change he had been given years ago just feels like the right thing to do. Maybe the time he spends with them from now on will look a little different, but he will always be there for them regardless, cheering them on as they, too, get to enjoy the sweet taste of victory, a mixture of champagne, tears and sweat that Seb thinks he will miss but not crave anymore.

Yeah, for now, he may be moving on from the racing life – but he plans on holding on to the sport and the incredible people participating in it a little longer. For now, he plans on moving out of the limelight and show his friends the love they deserve to feel, show them the support he knows every winner needs. Because he knows that winning is only truly worth it when you have people you can share it with unconditionally, people who stick with you even when you hit the lows and lift you up regardless.

#danke seb #sebastian vettel #sv5 #sebastian vettel oneshot #sebastian vettel drabble #sebastian vettel blurb #idk how to tag this lmfao

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kukalakas · 1 year

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Always wild for me to see how liked discovery is at least here with casual fans. Ive been in the trenches since 2017 and always when people notice im a trekkie they start saying like oh yes ive watched the show that started few years ago and Im like oh no here we go and everyone ends up saying that they think its really good. Ive been conditioned to think most people hate it so it always warms my heart when people like the show <3

#Star trek #star trek discovery #My beloveds

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zayalive · 3 months

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*dated september 2023*

i am here to post more things individual to me! this time, it's my top 25 video games. i am honestly not remotely content with this list and will update it around september of this year, and make it a tradition going forward. i never realized how hard it actually is to put this out on a chart/list. i always knew what i held dearly to my heart, but god when it came down to it, i had to REALLY think. imagining how this list will look by the end of this year is currently challenging. this chart is in no order besides grouping series. certain games will ALWAYS be on this list, most definitely the red dead series, and grand theft auto series. those are masterpieces, or damn near. red dead redemption ii is 100% the best game i've ever touched. the first redemption game i still highly regard to be one to stand the test of time. i have a fondness for fallout, there are many things to love, and things to not love, and that's all i'll say there for now. grand theft auto iv has one of the best stories i've played, and it's so played out but the VIBE of that game, the darkness, grittiness, it's great. san andreas is one of my childhood games, i owned so many copies because i was a stupid child. moving onto guitar hero, i still remember my first experience with it at my sister's, i remember getting my first copy of the game from fred's of all places. i mainly play clone hero nowadays, and am mostly average. i play expert, still have never got past that ttfaf intro. i got into wwe pretty early on in my life like most of these games, being able to watch the show weekly and hop in the games after school was special. cozy survival crafting is definitely one of my favorite things ever, and it's funny to call terraria cozy but it is to me LOL. i will never EVER understand terraria hate, how can you hate something so good? i have fallen out of love with minecraft over the years to the (in my opinion) underwhelming updates and odd direction the game has taken. with that however, the new auto-crafter and trial chambers look so sick. i want to say i got into stardew valley in 2018 and have loved it ever since, still haven't gotten through the beginning of ginger island though, maybe someday. ever since extremely late 2017 or early 2018, my main game has been fortnite: battle royale. at one point, i wanted to go pro and make a living streaming, but sadly i am NOT built for that. i've always loved zombies, first experience was probably like season 2-3 twd, and been hooked ever since. project zomboid was such an insane experience in february of last year. such an eye-opener. easily the best zombie game ever made. 7 days to die is also a great game, the impending doom you feel every week is fun and refreshing from what i normally play while still have that survival crafting i love. i grew up on tony hawk games and wasn't sure which ones to put but these were the standouts, and i didn't want to load the list up with a ton from one series. i remember spending all my savings as a kid on saints row: the third and i still wonder if that was a good decision or not. i have played tons of call of duty in my day, although i stopped at ghosts, and have dabbled in and out ever since. black ops is easily my favorite, the campaign, and multiplayer, agh. zombies even. modern warfare 2 is a classic and one i cannot ignore. ghost looks cool. i have played HELLA sims 3 in my lifetime, yes i have played the sims 4 and i can confidently say the sims 3 clears with ease. i dumped crazy hours into the console ports and the pc as well. around this final stretch of the list is where i really struggled so i went for nostalgia with atv off-road fury 2. that series and mx vs atv were definitely a blast to 10 and below me, and might even be today. i'm not quite sure. if anyone actually finishes this, i am sorry, for i am the rambler.

#gaming #ps2 #xbox 360 #xbox one #pc games #top25

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dethl · 1 year

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i just realized, ive always kept my indie game shilling on twitter, but not really posted it here

"wow, that reminds me of-"

yes, you probably already know. and if you want more of that type of game, you should play spark the electric jester 3, developed primarily by lake feperd. you may be familiar with the name from the developer previously working on the sonic before the sequel/sonic after the sequel fangames

ive been a fan of the spark series since the launch date of 1 in april 2017, and the sheer improvement with each of these games just continues to blow me away. spark 3 ended up being my GOTY last year, even over some immaculate games i played like xenoblade 3. i usually recommend the grabbing bundle cuz all three games are direct sequels, but if youre fine with being really lost on the plot, i guess you can play just spark 3

spark 3 also has a demo, you can play it right now. its only on steam at time of writing, but the developer hopes to get it on all major consoles later on

#dethtxt #i have a longer in-depth review of this game drafted but i figured id post a short version for now

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oswlld · 1 year

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Eight (8) Shows to Get to Know Me

tagged by @talays-portkey ♥ ty for tagging me and having me walk down memory lane for the past few days (spent too much time in all the tags microdosing on my upbringing)

DISCLAIMER: i wanted to showcase defining eras in my life/made an impact in a substantial way; i’m also recommending an ep to watch with each one, which isn’t part of the tag format but imma do it

i. LOST (2004-2010)

this was my whole world for my entire hs existence and into my early college years. half of the shows listed here stems from my first love of the ensemble cast, their interwoven yet clandestine storylines, and the mystery box. at my first sdcc, half of the cast was present when they debuted p1 of the series finale (you’d think i was dead the whole time fksfsk;lv)

the jessi special: The Constant (04x05)

ii. Fringe (2008-2013)

yes, i faithfully followed jj abrams into another insane show. i think it actually altered my brain chemistry, rewired something in me, devoured a piece of me. once LOST was over and Fringe brought in the alternate universe, i dove in head first and never resurfaced

the jessi special: Making Angels (04x11)

iii. Doctor Who (2005-Present)

i think it was technically winter 2010 when i started binging this show because s6 was my first time catching it live (was young and naïve, i caught it on bbca lol) ive been on hellsite for almost two years at the time and fully became a fandom blog, so it was inevitable i would love this series. i think it was the first show i made gifs/edits for???

the jessi special: The Doctor’s Wife (06x04)

iv. Lizzie Bennet Diaries (2012-2013)

oh look, my dna makeup shifts again. i actually started watching this show the week leading up to Darcy Day and can still vividly remember the migraines from binging 8-10min eps times 60ish worth of content. this show got me into writing my first fic, running an rp blog, creating instrumental playlists, making a DWxLBD blog, AND eventually flying my ass back to CA to meet the cast and beloved mutuals at VidCon

the jessi special: A New Buddy (ep56)

v. Orphan Black (2013-2017)

happy international women’s day to this show and this show only! i think of all the shows listed here, this is the first time since LOST i caught all the eps in real time from the very beginning. this was filling the hole Fringe was about to carve deep in me. but if you cut me open, you will find the beth-shaped hole that nothing/no one has been able to fill and likely will never fill til the end of time

the jessi special: The Collapse of Nature (04x01)

vi. Shadowhunters (2016-2019)

im willing to admit that the reason i got into this show was because of the wedding kiss haha i saw the clip, signed the adoption papers on the spot, and went on to write a 100K+ wip series. admittedly, i confess that this was a DNF and never finished the last season... i abandoned my boy.gif

the jessi special: Of Men and Angels (01x06)

vii. Sense8 (2015-2018)

a show about eight children than i gave birth to, that i raised on my own, that i will defend on my death bed and beyond??? that show sense8?? yes that show sense8. fun fact, when they did the screening of the finale in Chicago, the cast ended up sitting three rows behind me in the theater and i could hear them talking in between scenes the entire evening. wish i could bottle that feeling up

the jessi special: I Have No Room in My Heart for Hate (02x07)

viii. Bad Buddy (2021-2022)

and we finally made it to the current decade! its nov 2021, im fresh off leaving my previous job and still getting situated in my new position, yet this show was a siren calling to me in the dark mist of my life. i ended up saving the binge watching for the week of my bday and my whole life shifted again. it must have been so alarming on the outside, seeing me go from making 1-2 edits a month to 1-2 edits a day for almost THREE MONTHS. the fact that i still cont to avg two edits/week since then... oy lol

the jessi special: Ep10 (shocked pikachu.jpg)

and ill also throw some honorable mentions too: Chuck, The Good Place, Vice Versa, Twenty Five Twenty One, Once Upon a Time, and Elementary

now tagging @pranink, @icouldhyperfixatehim, @noxclara, @curious-earth (no pressure tho!)

#tag meme #tagged #this is jessi #i am a tree and these are the most defined rings #the ones people would study and say 'tf happened in this era'#now i feel obligated to make an edit for fringe #its the only show of the eight listed that i have never made something for #made a few LOST edits maybe two remakes ago #theres still some LBD edits in the archive tag #now all the new mutuals since bad buddy ended know me on a molecular level

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oncedied · 8 months

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ok so ive been watching a lot of like. icebergs. and reflecting on my time on tumblr since 2017 n shit like that. and here's a Take.

Proshippers/freaks/etc like to be like “OH YOURE JUST ANTI DARK MEDIA!!!” like no. no. quite the opposite actually. it’s just on Tumblr dot com the reading comprehension piss on the poor site thinks that main character = do no wrong perfect messiah and cannot wrap their heads around the fact that there are some stories in which the main character is supposed to be this disgusting unsympathetic piece of shit and if you sympathize with them there’s something deeply wrong with you.

So there’s no possible way to have an intelligent discussion on this website without someone going full piss on the poor at you. Yes enjoying dark media is okay, but there’s a thick ass line in the sand and that line is “dear fuck do not start to think this is an okay thing or sympathize with the people doing these horrible things and for the love of fuck don’t start trying to romanticize these actions either holy shit.”

And I've seen some of y’all going “I want more fucked up evil irredeemable protagonists” girl you can’t even handle discussions about books like Lolita without going “they’re the main character so they have to be likeable and sympathetic. I am very smart and capable of handling conversations but I think everyone who vaguely mentions this book is a pedo. I am very intelligent.” so why do y’all think you can handle blood meridian or no longer human or what have you. lmao. lol even.

#caydeposting #I’ve had ppl over the years be like. ‘how are you anti ship but okay with dark media’#because I have a brain??? and reading skills?!??#is this post gonna get me drawn and quartered. i dont know and i dont care #cayde 'i know dark media you can only dream of' ofspaydes

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imustbenuts · 1 year

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Fire Emblem Heroes - the quiet Buddhist cosmology beneath the Norse Facade

OKAY i've compiled my thoughts on what Kiran is and the whole buddhist lens ive been yammering on about, if you have the time and love Fire Emblem Heroes please give this a read!

let me know what you think, or not. If that link stinks, click the read more to unfurl the article here on tumblr.

In this post: what Kiran is, what they represent, and what some of the other Heroes characters mean in contrast (possibly)

Fire Emblem Heroes — the quiet Buddhist cosmology beneath the Norse facade.

Fire Emblem Heroes. It’s a gacha game dressed in a thick layer of Norse Mythology. Each year the game drip feeds its audience with a story building up to how an inevitable Ragnarok might occur as an excuse to have people direct its heroes to battle, gain experience, and strengthen the Order of Heroes in a manner akin to Valhalla and how it is depicted in Norse Mythology.

But I’m here to argue that this is not entirely the case today.

Before I begin, I’d like to stress a few things. I am not Buddhist and neither am I really interested in pushing or debate religion. I am merely here to point out my observation, analysis and thoughts I’ve compiled over time about Fire Emblem Heroes when seen through the lens of Buddhist cosmology.

With that said, here I go.

I’ll begin with our avatar this round in Fire Emblem Heroes. Kiran.

At first glance, this empty slate of a character doesn’t seem that interesting. They function as a avatar for the player and doesn’t have any spoken lines. Though it is clear that they do speak, by and large they lack any sort of tangible personality or motivation. Their ability to summon heroes is what helps Alfonse, the protagonist of Heroes, defend his Kingdom of Askr.

The only other character in the Fire Emblem series which is similar is Mark from The Blazing Blade, but even there they have an excuse to help the protagonists in the beginning: they are a traveling tactician interested in improving their skills.

Kiran, however, has no such motivation specified. They were summoned, and they’ve been fighting in this gacha game since 2017.

In fact, Kiran is a major anomaly. For one, they are a (initially) faceless, hooded entity who directs the heroes in battle, whom the game refers to as us, the player. This seems rather odd considering contemporary Fire Emblem’s avatars are given their own personality and goals, even if they are as quiet as Byleth or as chatty as Robin and Corrin.

But if we were to play this description straight, Kiran would then be any one of us with knowledge of the Fire Emblem universe, ranging from little to obsessively extensive. Also, more importantly, perhaps overly invasive to certain characters and their lives, as knowing would mean that we are keenly aware of how characters suffer in their arcs and go through their own respective journeys.

If we also assume that such a person, upon arrival in Askr, were to see a new set of faces, one of whom is a prince with blue hair with a sister and a kingdom facing a crisis — what’s to say that such a person wouldn’t immediately assume they were in a Fire Emblem universe? What’s to say they wouldn’t immediately be aware of cliches such as masked characters being suspiciously important, and how parents of FE lords would die? What’s to say they wouldn’t, like all Fire Emblem players, recognize that without their intervention, this Blue Haired protagonist would stand no chance?

Would they immediately recognize the need to follow Alfonse, the protagonist of this Fire Emblem, and see through his story, despite being a complete stranger to him? That this person would aid his Kingdom, which would be doomed otherwise without intervention?

The answer I’ve come to is absolutely, yes. A person who has played even a few Fire Emblem entries, no matter their actual name, would jump at the call.

Indeed, transplanting a person like this into the Fire Emblem universe immediately makes them supernatural, as these sort of awareness is only reserved for higher beings such as Angels and Heavenly Beings.

Which, interestingly, Kiran might be.

There are a myriad of deities in Buddhist cosmology, but I’ll be focusing on the Eight Legions for now. The above chart is pulled from this Wikipedia page, and I’d like to talk about the first two. First being the Tenbu/Devas, and also ask that you keep two, Ryu/Naga in the back of your mind for the time being.

I’ll also be referring to everything from this point by their Sanskrit names and come back to Japanese later. Also as a disclaimer, Buddhism has spread so far throughout Asia that there are bound to be nuances and different school of thoughts and interpretations. To talk about each variation in depth would be a whole other topic about geography and history, so please forgive me if I seem to touch and go at points. For those who wish to learn about Buddhism, here’s a 18 minute detour to Religion For Breakfast’s introductory video on the subject.

Deva

Source: https://www.onmarkproductions.com/html/hachi-bushu.shtml

Note that this depiction has a lens of Japanese Buddhism, which may differ from Buddhism found elsewhere outside of Japan. (Ie some regions do not actually worship Devas or even Buddhas.)

Devas are a class of beings which are born after accumulating an immense amount of good merit/karma in their previous life, and they reside in the heavenly realms, living immeasurably long yet comfortable lives. They are still on the path to break out of the cycle of death and rebirth, or samsara, and so therefore are not revered or worshiped as much as one would a Buddha. Devas can be further divided up into higher and lower groups, where the middle to lower ones may be able to look into the realms below out of interest, and communicate with each other in their same group. Devas almost never interact with the lower worlds, though they are said to maybe offer counsel indirectly.

Notably, however, Devas are mortal, and the lower ones even eat or drink as well. They are able to fall into vices, and in this sense, Devas of the lower group are no different from an average human.

In fact, there is a theory in Buddhism which postulates that all humans here on earth are Devas as well, but lost the supernatural abilities to glow and fly across the skies.

Applying this to Kiran, they curiously fit this to an astonishing degree if we assume they are indeed any one of us transported into the world of Heroes. It all fits — they would be a bit supernatural, yet killable as evidenced by Lif — an alternate Alfonse— ’s dead summoner. They would also be watching down from the heavens in any Fire Emblem games across different worlds and time. Our visual feedback of the battlefield is precisely that of being viewed from the skies.

Additionally, Devas also are said to shine, and Kiran’s name which also happens to be rooted in the same Sanskirt language, means to shine. On top of that, Kiran has been depicted in this official April Fools video, titled Fire Emblem Heroes — Lonely Puppeteer (Spring Remix), to be on top a lotus, which carries strong implications in Buddhism.

Lotuses signifies enlightenment, among many other good things such as fortune, purity, and the like. More importantly however, Buddhas are often depicted to be seated on their lotus thrones in Buddhist religious art. This depiction can be seen all over Asia, and it’s by no means an insignificant symbology.

While Lonely Puppeteer, the music video, is a visually fun treat, it raises the question of why the director specifically chose to have Kiran ripping on their tambourine on a floating lotus of all things. But, ah, those funny Japanese devs, right? ...Yes.

If at this point any of this sounds of crazy fan theory, I want to stress this again: Fire Emblem is a game made by Japanese people.

Fire Emblem has been a series of games telling a western story, made by Japanese people. Further examining FEH with this lens has merit, and the crack I’ve opened with Kiran will hopefully help illuminate the many other themes scattered throughout Heroes’ visual and textual design that ties into reinforcing this possible Buddhism cosmology. I hope everything still makes sense thus far.

Onward to the visual concepts.

So far I have spoken of Kiran in their faceless portrayal, but that was no longer the case as of patch 5.2. They now have 4 feminine and 4 masculine portraits, and adding their faceless version it totals 9 possible choices for the player to select. But out of all these, there are two darker skinned versions, one masculine and one feminine.

On a surface level these might seem like a move to welcome diversity, but personally I couldn’t help but feel their skin color and the the golden circlet reminds me more of India in a soft sense. It is not uncommon to find Indian brides dressed in traditional garments with lots of gold incorporated into their outfit. In fact, I’ve often seen Indian women dressed even casually wearing gold. Specifically, gold circlets, or head pieces, and gold bracelets are an especially common sight.

India is the birthplace of Buddhism and Hinduism. To sidetrack a bit as this will be important: these two religion share many similar Gods, but are actually very different. For one, Buddhist do not worship Gods, whereas Hindus do. Buddhist do not have rituals, but Hindus do.*

This may seem a bit confusing, because it may seem Buddhists worship Buddha, but in truth Buddhist venerate Buddha’s teachings. In fact, Buddha is a title for those who have broken out of samsara rather than a name of a specific deity. The depiction of Buddhas are therefore a reminder to practitioners to accumulate good karma for their next life.*

*Side note: As said before, current day Buddhism is varied and mixed into local culture and religion, resulting in rituals or worship in some parts. It’s a widespread religion with varied practices, interpretations and understanding.

Back on the topic of Kiran’s depiction: These two specific artwork helps tie them deeper to two characters who later appear in Book 6. For those wary of spoilers, this is your chance to turn back now.

In Heroes, there are two nations at war, one named Askr, the other Embla. These two nations are named after their patron deities who share the same name. Said deities also have their respective retainers, named Ash and Elm.

Askr and Ash

On the left is Askr and on the right is Ash. Sourced from https://fireemblem.fandom.com/wiki/

Askr and Ash both are somewhat dark skinned and have cow like attributes in their visual design. Going back once more to Kiran’s darker skinned variations, the visual theming is striking. They are all dressed in white and have golden accents decorating their entire body. On closer inspection, both Askr and Ash are accessorized in gold as well — both of them wear gold earrings, and Ash has golden armbands.

However, Askr and Ash oddly buckles the common trend of Gods being dragons in Fire Emblem. Their transformed forms are cows, which is a very odd design choice for those who are not familiar with eastern religion and mythologies.

Except, if I go back to the point of India and Hinduism, there is one lens where this visual design makes sense.

See, cows are protected and venerated creatures in Hinduism. It is prohibited to cull cows in India, and consuming beef is a serious taboo. Outside, the consumption of beef is an explicit taboo for some Buddhist sects (who may not commit to the same degree of strict vegetarian diet), as it is rooted in a similar view in their text how how cows represents all living being.

The Hindus associate cows with Mother Earth due to the nourishment they provide. Additionally, their Gods are said to have sometimes taken the form of cows, and as such they became sacred, venerated, adored creatures. There are other more in depth reasons but explaining them would be a detour, so please excuse me as I link this article which may explain the specifics more in depth in place.

In fact, refer to this above image and contrast it with Askr and Ash’s transformed forms. The similarity is uncanny. They are all white cows with golden accessories and similar looking horns, which is unlike the breeds commonly kept in farms for eventual consumption.

One final thing to note before moving on: Askr’s forehead has a blue glowing design highlighted by gold which forms an eye, a Third Eye. Third Eyes are said to let the user perceive things beyond normal sight. They symbolize enlightenment/awakening, and in Hinduism (Ajna) specifically lets the user receive messages from past and future both. Outside, there is a belief in Asia that the Third Eye grants the user to see beyond one’s reality and the world.

If this means Askr knew of our reality, of if there is some power associated with that eye remains to be seen, but the choice for him to be designed with it has interesting implications both in-lore and meta.

Thus from this lens, the choice seem to make some sense. The next two, however, seem less straightforward with their visual inspiration.

Embla and Elm

On the left is Embla and on the right is Elm. Sourced from https://fireemblem.fandom.com/wiki/

Embla is the patron deity of her nation, Embla. Her retainer, Elm, shares with her similar bat design elements with their ears and cape. Their spear, pale skin and lean body types are a clear shout out to Dracula, and overall it is very western rooted.

While bats do not have a deity representation or are worshiped in either religion, they are seen as a harbinger of death in Norse Mythology. Yet, even in Norse, there exists no deities associated with bats. These two seem very out of place then, because aside from being associated with the darkness, the theming is off. This link is too weak in comparison.

Except, there is a connection to Buddhism, albeit loose. It’s caves.

See, in many parts of Asia, Buddhists have turned caves into refuges and shrines. Indeed, it is not uncommon to see various Buddhist artwork carved into the stones, and even have some of them be turned into shrines and monasteries high up in the mountains. Especially along the silk road, there lies many such caves spreading from India to China, which is how the religion spread into the rest of Asia. There’s an article on it here.

And it wasn’t just Buddhas which were depicted. The Buddhist hell, a place where one goes to after death to burn off their bad karma, have caves completely dedicated to showing the pain and torture methods employed for the process. It is… gruesome to say the least, but there is one such cave named the Am Phu Cave, located in Vietnam which you may watch, linked here below.

youtube

So again, this is a loose theory, but with this lens the theming makes sense.

Other small things lending to this lens: The Heroes bits

Interestingly, there are rare points where Kiran is given characteristics in game. Starting in Book 1, where Kiran directly stops Alfonse from killing Zacharias. If you remember my point about masked characters being suspicious, this actions makes total sense.

Book 4

In book 4, they become Alfonse in the dream realm. Two strange things happens in this book, which is dismissed by many for resembling a filler.

First, Peony remarks how the World of Steel, the world which they come from, has its denizens give up their dreams in order to live a comfortable life. One of the descriptions for a Deva is that they live incredibly long yet comfortable lives. This is true in the sense that many of our modern day comforts outmatches what that of even Kings and Queens may attain in medieval eras.

Second, after realizing that Kiran has been dreaming of themselves being Alfonse, Freya ramps up her taunts, daring Kiran on how cutting her down would mean for them to wake up in a reality where Alfonse has been slain by Alfador. Despite not knowing she was bluffing, Kiran in response wordlessly ends her in order to wake up to reality, to continue fighting for Askr/Alfonse again.

This jumps out to me as this is the first time Alfador/Odin of the Norse Mythology has been mentioned directly to Kiran, yet we players immediately understand the implications, especially after taking down Surtr and knowing of Loki and Thor’s existence, all important deities in Norse Mythology. Additionally, I could tie this back to following the Blue Haired Lord rule of Fire Emblem.

Then, there is Book 5.

Eitri seems interested in summoning otherworldly people, but not just any otherworldly people. She wants Kiran, and later kidnaps them in an attempt to conduct research on, implying that their existence is special. This, despite her successfully summoned multiple people including Fafnir, who lost his memories and ended up King of Niðavellir after helping to stage a revolution, after its dynasty has been rendered corrupted enough to make life for its people difficult.

This is a straight up echo of the Mandate of Heaven idea. Note that this idea isn’t strictly Buddhist, but rather Confucius, though it has to be mentioned for the next part to make sense.

Fafnir is an interesting foil, because in his ambition to take the crown, he ends up losing his mind and himself, and turns into a dragon to be put down by the Heroes. Kiran never does any coup d’etat and seems loyal to Alfonse in contrast, does not lose their memories and is seemingly absent of any throne taking ambition. In short, in this theory, they recognize Alfonse to be the protagonist and is committed to guiding him.

Plus, if Kiran is a heavenly being, then they represent the Mandate of Heaven, which Alfonse has. Lif by contrast, would have lost his.

Other small things lending to this lens: Zenith

Curiously, the world of Heroes as our protagonists reside in are rarely, if ever, referred to as Midgard, the realm of mortals in Norse Mythology. Instead, it is referred to as Zenith, or 至天(shiten) in Japanese. These two words are interesting choices. Zenith in astrology terms refers to the point in the sky or celestial sphere directly above an observer. Shiten 至天 is not a proper Japanese term as far as I can tell, but it seems to be a play on the word, Solstice 至点 (shiten), replacing the kanji for point点 with 天skies. Solstice referring to the minimum or maximum declination of the sun.

In short, both Zenith and Shiten 至天 can be interpreted here as the land closest towards the skies/heavens.

Would this then add to the lens of Kiran being a heavenly being called down in the context of Fire Emblem Heroes? I think, yes, very heavily so.

And now let’s go back to a certain term that I’ve not explained yet. Let’s talk about the Eight Legions again, but now about Naga.

The outside of Heroes bits — Awakening.

Nagas are called Ryuu 龍 in Japanese, which are also known as dragons, an important mythical creature associated with Kings in China and Japan. Witnessing them means to have the Mandate of Heaven.

There is one specific character who appears multiple times in Fire Emblem named Naga as well. She is known as a Divine Dragon, is seen as a God and has been humanity’s benevolent guide, aiding the heroes over and over. She’s exclusive to the games taking place in Arcahnea, and there are other Divine Dragons of different names in other series.

As a bonus, all protagonist who are essentially blessed by her eventually become great rulers of their domain. Marth, Chrom, and probably a dozen other protagonist fit this.

Interestingly, she also shares similarity with Buddha, or rather, holding the title of Buddha. Naga is actually a title passed down, as seen in Fire Emblem Awakening’s Future Past DLC, where Tiki becomes the new Naga after she is slain.

She has beaten back the forces threatening the lives of mortals across 5000 years in Arcahnea time and time again. Naga bestows weapons to her chosen heroes, makes bloodline pacts and watches through their eyes. Unlike Kiran however, she is immensely powerful herself. It can also be argued that Kiran imbues weapons with additional power rather than grant them, and so the connection and comparison here is not as obvious at a glance.

Which then also ties into the next two Awakening characters I'd like to talk about.

Robin and Grima.

Or rather, Robin, Grima and Kiran.

In Awakening, Robin serves as our avatar. Robin is a blank slate initially, but as stated before, they speak and stick with the cast of that game as they have lost their memories and therefore has nowhere to go. In time, Grima appears and we learn that Robin has been bred into existence by the Grimleals, the cult worshiping Grima, to possess their body in order to plunge the world into despair.

At one point, Grima tries to take over Robin’s body, which if successful would mean that as the player, we would no longer be able to play as Robin. Therefore, I reasoned even back in 2013 that Grima seems to be an anti-player character, though as a fun thought.

But in this sense, Robin serves as an avatar for both the player — or rather — Kiran, and Grima.

To further connect this, in Japanese, their names are ルフレ(rufure), ギムレー(gimure), and エクラ(ekura). Translating these phonetically yields Reflet, Gimlé, and Eclat.

Reflet refers to metallic brilliance, such as on an object like metal or ceramics, i.e reflectivity of the surface. It means reflection in French.

Gimlé is said to be a place where the worthy survivors of Ragnarok are foretold to live, the most beautiful place in Asgard, a place more beautiful than the sun.

Eclat refers to luster, brilliance, glory etc. The clap of a thunder, something akin to a burst. It’s also a French word interestingly.

In a sense then, I could say when Grima is in control, the world teeters on the brink of annihilation due to how Grima in lore is seen by their cult to be the god of death and ruin. When we are in control instead, we beat Grima out of existence either temporarily or permanently, then leaving Robin to live their life.

This is fitting if you think of Eclat as something transient, and Gimlé as something more enduring.

If we approach this from the lens of Norse Mythology, there is also Breidablik, the name of Kiran’s divine weapon. Breidablik is a place said to belong to Baldr, and it is the cleanest hall in Asgard. By theme, it is barely linked to Gimlé unless we consider how the murder of Baldr is the trigger to Ragnarok.

The strength of this link really depends on how strongly one views the directness or indirectness of their theming, but this is interesting to note considering Awakening was conceived as a last hurrah, seemingly asking us, the audience, if the series was worth continuing and letting us decide both in-lore and meta. It is not too unreasonable to say that the concept of Kiran existed in some form during the development of Awakening.

Even on a visual level, it seems like Kiran’s design is an intentional copy of Robin/Grima’s outfit.

But connections run yet another a layer deeper between Grima and Kiran.

One is malevolent, the other benevolent. One is artificial (see: Shadows Of Valentia’s post game), the other natural. One is immortal, the other mortal. One watches (supposedly) with 6 eyes, the other watches with a myriad of eyes as there are a myriad of them. Both control a whole army of units which can be replenished and increased, only one is filled with the undead and the other is alive.

This aspect between them is too much of a coincidence to dismiss.

The hand of Gods

If I still haven’t convinced you, the reader, the validity of this silent Buddhist cosmology theory, then perhaps this will.

Enter Kouhei Maeda.

I unfortunately do not know too much about Kouhei Maeda and will probably need to read interviews to get a good grasp of what he has been doing specifically. But this guy has been with Intelligent Systems and the development of Fire Emblem since 2001. To be given the director role is to have the ultimate say in what goes and what doesn’t. He has been both(!) the director and (one of the many) writer of Fire Emblem: Awakening and Fire Emblem: Heroes, on top of being one of multiple scenario writers in other projects starting from The Binding Blade.

Kouhei Maeda has been a consistent presence throughout all these projects for this lens to work so well. At this point I find it difficult to shake off this feeling, with all my thoughts, that I’ve been played.

The non-Heroes entries I’ve mentioned here are The Blazing Blade and Awakening. From The Blazing Blade, Lyn often requests for Kiran to stay behind her, in the same fashion as she did with Mark, the avatar of that game. From Awakening, Robin mentions how Kiran feels familiar.

Lyn and Robin's voice lines respectively

There are also more lines from characters such as Kris, specifically the Plegian version, Thor, Loki, Naga herself, and many many more out there which calls into Kiran’s familiarity, uniqueness or peculiarity into question. Every units which are classified as Gods in their original games also treat Kiran as an equal, though many would play this off as a joke as it seems like shallow fan service on its own.

Outside of Heroes, there still remains many remnants that points towards this idea, such as Tharja/Rhajat's behavior towards the avatar of both Awakening and Fates, as if the writers have been coyly poking at the audience through this lens.

As of writing, the game has just only concluded Book 6. I suspect Kiran’s role is to mess with the prophecy of Ragnarok and kill Alfador/Odin, who is aware of this anomaly transplanted from Buddhism.

Regardless, this is about as much as I have gathered to speak on the underlying cosmology and Kiran’s function in Fire Emblem Heroes. To go on more would be to really squeeze water from a rock at this point. While half of this seems like insane fan theory, the occasional weirdness from Fire Emblem Heroes exists, and I suspect it will pop up again for as long as the game continues its service.

Thank you for reaching the end point, and I hope this was an interesting read!

#fire emblem heroes #fire emblem heroes analysis #fire emblem heroes theory #summoner kiran #god im dying this took so long to write

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