#yes someone will slap me for putting music in that tag but idk how to define it

[always-a-joyful-note]

So because I want to record my progression of where I am in the story, I'm posting my impressions of the units so far. (Disclaimer: I haven't read many of the stories, and about half the knowledge I have is from osmosis and spoilers. The other half is actually reading wiki entries and the actual stories. So if these takes are inaccurate, that is probably the point XD)

Without further ado....

fine - unit of 2 rich kids who are sort of trying to be slightly less evil but kind of still are evil, one (1) theatre kid who is just there for the ride and his crush, and a butler with the face of an angel and the threatening aura of a ezekiel-accurate angel in disguise. Also another impression I had of it was one chronically ill idol stan with three of his idol crushes. But they're solid, if slightly flowery; not exactly my style but their songs are good.

Trickstar - literally my sons. Traumatised idiots who choose to continue to see the bright side with a slice of anarchy. They're all so dumb. Their leader looks straight laced but is more insane than his co-leader who is perpetually wearing the ^u^ expression (except when trauma slapped). The other two members are a camera-phobic gamer boy who is also a model and a guy who exudes reliability and sanity but is also kind of an insane workaholic with inferiority issues. I'm adopting them all and their songs are like…both generic but SO sincere you can't hate it.

Ryuseitai - Me when first meeting them: Awww! A power ranger themed unit! So cute! Me, after hearing stuff about the two senior members' lore and how they recruited their youngsters: (clutching my heart, trying not to sob/lose my mind) Aww! A power ranger themed unit! S-so cute! I would die for literally all of them…WHY. Such silly happy sincere tunes sung by such silly, devastating characters??? Found family, to me

Alkaloid - everyone here believes they are holding everyone else back with their psychological problems (Mayoi), disability problems (Tatsumi), ability problems (Aira), or culture shock problems (Hiiro). And yet they're the unit whose songs have mostly all been ones I absolutely loved. Which means the assembly machine factory idols Eichi's got going on are working and idk how I feel about that

Eden - A bunch of guys with severe family issues who probably have never read the bible (well, maybe Nagisa has). So, like, tw inaccurate depictions of the bible? Anyway, deranged quartet of a softie obsessed with cool rocks but really he has sort of a god complex, a guy with a perpetual :D who is as smart as he thinks he is but is also kind of oblivious to all of his other skills and flaws (and thus is a combo of terrifying snake and kind of someone you're sort of humouring because he's funny), a spoiled princess who might have a bit of a savior complex, and a dude who kinda just got swept along for the ride but is actually really fond of them. And it shows in their music.

Valkyrie - Just….theatre kids, who put the drama in dramatic and the intense in intensity (that's definitely not how the expression is used). They also have a very strange thing going on even though they're trying to be healthier, but I'm too afraid to ask. Unfortunately, though, they have some killer compositions and so many references to Classics and Things, not to mention their songs are genuinely good for those who want that quick theatrical vibe

2wink - Adorable twins that I was lured into thinking were the normal mischief twin duo trope but what in the actual ensemble were the writers DOING? They deserve at least half the cw/tw tags. Also, one of them is kinda like Trickstar (just wants to make things brighter) while the other one has schemes and will not hesitate to destroy you while giggling, yes. All that angst but they have such cheery tunes. Like, boys please….

Crazy:B - I mean, with a name like that….listen. You think it's the guy with the metabolism-related medical condition who has a dad implied to be accused of cannibalism and his freeloader who is a literal prince but also constantly broke that would be the most insane. But, no, we also have a fifteen year old assassin who has definitely killed and a guy who is literally both committing identity theft AND helping in witness protection. But, yes, their songs are fun, as is their dynamic. Also…Amagi brothers. Ough.

Undead - This is just…four urban fantasy love interests thrown into a unit. I'm not exactly sure what urban fantasy race Adonis and Kaoru are (though sometimes I'm inclined to think adonis is the protagonist who just kinda got swept along for the ride except he does have the vibe sometimes (aka casually kidnapping HiMERU)) but a vampire and werewolf are very obviously there. Really do love their rock and roll style, like come on (though I sometimes do think it'd be cool if they let Rei's love for jazz into their songs)

Ra*bits - Look. I love them. It really is just a single dad with one of the most messed up backstories doing his best. But like, also, leave them alone please?? The writers really just made them the damsel in distress character that makes Subaru go "oh, I have to take this revolution stuff seriously" and that's not even mentioning all the other stuff they seem to go through??? Like they do not belong in whatever genre Enstars is going for but they make it work but….let them rest. Songs not my style but they fit their vibe of "smile and spread joy" which works cause I do feel joy. Like Trickstar without the revolutionary goals.

Akatsuki - TBH, I'm still kind of wondering why these three (a warrior, a mangaka, and a tailor who used to be a delinquent) are still idols. I mean, they do have talent and traditional aesthetic is fire, and they're definitely sort of found family, but why still idols guys? That said, again, songs not my style but they definitely capture their aesthetic and vibe and that's always cool to me. Also, one of the members was raised in a Buddhist temple and helped with funerals, and I do not know enough about Buddhism enough to say if they portray a Buddhist accurately but given how they portray everyone else's quirks, it probably still has a giant dose of deranged on it.

Knights - HAHAHAHAHA. They're all insane. But they have talent and earned their place in the big three. But that does not make them less insane. That's all because I will go a bit barmy if I think about them too much. Silly, insane knights who enjoy hobbies like kidnapping (affectionate) and dancing/singing (will kill you in a duel)

Switch - Look….at heart, I can't hate these fantasy game isekai themed group. I enjoy their music because I do like the electropop remix/edm thing they have going on. And it DOES kill me that the only two 3-people units (Akatsuki and Switch) both have the dynamic of "a couple of parents and their beloved and most treasured cinnamon roll of a chaotic son." But like Valkyrie, I don't know what's going on with the senior members and am too afraid to ask, especially since they seem fine with it while their son with synesthesia cheers them on.

MaM - He is literally a cowboy. I - is there a thing with Japan and cowboys? And did someone at the writer's table see that samurai, Victorian thief, cowboys, and pirates post? Because somehow, the only member of this unit is all of them. A very stark contrast against his weirdly cheerleader/mom friend songs. I know he has mommy issues (mafia thing, I think) but.....son, are you okay?

Double Face - Yeah, okay, I love them. They might be the murder unit and I still have no clue to their formation but I love it. Put the Victorian cowboy thief samurai pirate and the child assassin together and you get secret agent type music that sounds like it could be in an old spy flick? How can you not love it?

#i love that the last post i reblogged before being eaten by life was the mlp enstars one #i think thats a true representation of who i am as a tumblr user #anyway please forgive if I assessed the characters and units grossly inaccurately #theres just TOO MUCH and im slowly learning but there just keeps MORE coming??? #this is like getting into bsd and constantly being surprised by the media #or mlp which has 9 seasons and a bunch of spinoffs help #anyway if you asked me to choose a favourite unit i really dont think i could #im just kinda fond of all of these kids... #overall enstars has the sort of 'how to be bright in a very messed up world' sort of thematic vibe? #sometimes it fails and to be honest its not the BEST written as it could be #but i am just way too fond of media that is good but also bad if thats anything #enstars #ensemble stars #stuff i say #fandom spamdom #enstars spoilers #sort of? #is that even a tag i should use? #long post

[beatbreak]

HOW DOES A SONG MADE OF PHONE BEEPS SLAP SO HARD???

#ayako saso #sampling masters aya #weirdcore #y2k music #yes someone will slap me for putting music in that tag but idk how to define it #sampling masters is better than tumblr aesthetics but its fitting dont kill me #technictix #technic beat #obscure game music #rhythm game #jcore

[binniesthighs]

can u do an enemy to lovers au with han jisung where they are in a hidden fwb relationship? thank u~ 🥺

I really look some creative liberties with this one HA but the product...hehe, I hope that you enjoy it love! I also kinda accidentally made it a period piece??? Like 50′s-60′s? Idk how this happened but the vibe and the music I was listening to while writing really put me in that mood haha

blue velvet | reader x jisung |

Paring: self insert, gender neutral reader x han jisung

Genre: smut n’ angst

Tags: stripper!jisung, stripper!reader, bi!jisung, enemies (competitors) to lovers, secret relationship, friends with benefits, explicit language, mentions of alcohol, degrading names, choking, spanking, v mild spit play, unprotected sex (wrap it before you slippity slap it friends), creampie, cum eating, scratching, oral (reader receiving) semi-public sex, hello yes this one is kinda filthy ooooops

Word count: 3.2k

Recommended listening: Blue Velvet by Bobby Vinton

Fuck. It’s hot in here. Too fucking hot.

Reconnaissance. That’s what you were doing. It was fucking disgusting. Everyone in the room was just as fake as the pleather belts that held their guts in. You had never seen anything more embarrassing in your whole life. Desperation was sweating off the walls and sunk into your skin. It made you feel sick.

You scoffed and took a long sip from your drink.

“One more?” An attentive maître d' asked you--if he could even been called that in a place like this.

You covered your hand over your glass. You refused to pay for any more of that cheap tasting shit.

Next to you a rapt group of men in suits wagged their tails at the view. She wasn’t even very pretty.

Rolling your eyes, you scoped out the rest of the room, adorned in red velvet and gold nearly everywhere. What was this? A high school musical? Even those had more class than this place.

You checked your sliver wristwatch lined by dainty diamonds. You always did like gifts. Too bad rarely anyone would get anything in return.

The girls on the stage twirled around, giving the audience the best view that they could, tiger-prowling to those waving bills in their grabby hands. They were tanned and fashioned into strappy and lacy pieces that looked like they all must have shared them. Pathetic.

“You come here often?”

He swirled some clear looking liquid in his crystal glass, the little string of olives clinking the side.

“Are you speaking to me?”

“No, I’m talking to them.” He head nodded to the same group of greasy businessmen. “I haven’t seen you here before.”

“It’s my first time...and likely my last.”

“Huh. Tough critic.”

He didn’t look like the rest of them. Younger, reeking less of starved attention. He had golden blonde hair, and a silk white shirt unbuttoned far into a deep V. He was toned: the muscles on his arms were visible under the thin fabric and his abs made a show thanks to the abandonment of buttons. He wore dress pants perfectly fitted for his thighs. He was...attractive...but not your type.

“What’s not to like? Beautiful people, drinks to make you forget your mistakes? Not your scene?”

You rested your chin in your palm. “It’s my scene, but not this scene.”

“Suit yourself.” He took another swing, pivoting his body towards you, legs spread wide. “I think I know someone who can change you mind though.”

“In this place? Unlikely.”

“Come on...just stay a little bit longer and they’ll come out. They’re the last act of the night for a reason.” He signaled to the maître d' and whispered something into his ear. “Drinks on me. If you’ll stay?”

“Free drinks?” You put down your empty glass. “I suppose I can’t say no to that.”

╚ ——————————————— ╝

It was thirty minutes till closing, and you had stayed much longer than you had liked. After all the drinks you had to pass the time, you were starting to feel a little buzz, but nothing much really phased you these days. You started to wonder if he had been pulling some kind of prank. Nothing you had seen was what he had hyped it up to be.

The lights dimmed behind you, making the room dark enough for the tiny white candles at the tables to provide the only light. Spotlights flashed on from behind you too, illuminating the U shaped stage. With the lights, the music faded into something much more sultry.

The first two girls stepped out, both of them wearing white sets that were nearly identical with sheer robes. Two others stepped out after them, this time wearing red and black. It was the same thing you had been seeing all night.

The spotlight tightened.

It was him.

He was wearing a button down and those same pants, everything seemed so tight on him, accentuating every curve of his body. Strangely, when he walked out, he was greeted with wolf-whistles and hoots. He winked back at his spectators, nearly falling out of their chairs to see him better. It was even stranger considering the audience was filled with men.

He walked around the girls on stage as if he was inspecting them, his eyes eating up every bit of their skin. He confidence was unparalleled. He would run his hands down their sides, digging his fingers into their hips. They circled around him until his body was covered with their hands, teasing the audience, just barely touching around his dick, which with his pants...there was little room for imagination.

Silent moans left his lips once they started undressing him giving him their full attention. The cheers grew even louder. Before long, he was nearly fully undressed swaying to the music. He wore nothing special, just some briefs, like any normal person would. It was...confusing.

He took turns “giving attention” to every girl, looking at them like he worshiped the ground the walked on. They would grind their bodies together, or he would pick them up in his arms, and they would wrap their long legs around him. He would pantomime fucking them from behind, screwing up his face as if he really was. Everyone went crazy for that.

It didn’t last for very long and the lights soon went all the way down, leaving the stage scattered with sweating bodies, panting as if they had just cum, entangling themselves all in eachother.

You were a bit unenthused, but it was different. There was something about him that was different.

╚ ——————————————— ╝

“Were the drinks enough for you?” His voice called to you just as you were about to leave. This time, he returned wearing the same silk shirt.

“I hope that I didn’t make you pay for too many.” You pouted with faux empathy.

“And the show?” He grinned a little.

“Interesting. Considering a place like this.”

He laughed a little. “I help with...the imagination.”  

“So they pretend that you’re them. I’ll admit, it’s smart.”

“You’d be surprised, somedays I get more male customers compared to most of the girls here.” He bit his lip as if recalling a memory. “They pay well too, pay for whatever they aren’t getting at home. Who am I do deny them that when it’s my job?

“You sleep with them?”

“The ones I like.”

“Sounds exhausting.”

“Can be. In a good way.” He let out a sharp laugh. “So. Did I prove you wrong?”

“Hmmm. I could do better.”

He popped his brows up. “You could?”

He was intriguing. You decided to give him a bite. “I dance at La Rose Rouge.”

“You dance at that overpriced, snotty ass place?” His words turned poisonous.  What’s it like dancing for a guy who’s got a stick so far up his ass--”

“--The price is right, and you get what you pay for there...especially if its me.”

“How am I not surprised?”

“I need to go, I’ve seen all I could here.” You bowed at him a little.

“Wait.” He grabbed at your arm. “I’ve still got one more thing to show you. Follow me.”

 ╚ ——————————————— ╝

Your insides were on fire as he fucked into you. Every time that he thrust into you, he was relentless and unforgiving. He was going so fast you could barely catch your breath. You were bent over some dusty old sofa in an equally dusty dressing room. You would kill him if he left bruises on your hips from how hard he was holding you.

“fuck. shit.” He panted, then reached one of his hands around to rub at your sensitive sex, slick with your excitement.

He was so fucking cocky, but he knew what the hell he was doing. He bent over your back, sucking into your skin, wrapping his arms around you to tweak your nipples. He was wrecking you from the inside out, devouring you like he had never tasted anything like you.

He kicked your legs open even farther. “Fucking moan for me, slut.”

You had barely let him hear more than a few gasps, he didn’t deserve it. You wanted him to moan for you.

“Who are you calling slut?” You said with venom.

You shoved off of him, and he looked devastated. He was cute. He even frowned regretfully like he had done something wrong.

The metal of your rings dug into his neck when you grabbed it, squeezing as hard as you could. Your hot breath snuck into his ear, “No, you fucking moan for me...slut.”

You attacked his lips, tracing the insides of his mouth with your tongue. He moaned right into you and grabbed handfuls of your ass with his two hands. Your teeth bit his lip and pulled. His dick trembled between the two of you and he rutted against your stomach to get some kind of relief.

He took one of his hands to your hair before resting his glossy brown eyes on you. “I’d do anything for you.” His voice quivered. “You ruin me.”

“Get on the floor.” You commanded him, and he did as he was told without a question, laying his bare body on the cold concrete.

The chill of the stone stung your knees, but that didn’t matter, you just wanted to see him unravel. You straddled down onto him, taking him in as you sunk down.

“oh shit,” slipped off your tongue without you having much control over it.

You rolled your core over him, back and forth, circling yourself and bouncing up and down as he rolled his eyes back, licking his lips while you did everything that you wanted. As you bounced he held on to your ass, digging his fingertips in. You had your eyes closed, so you didn’t see it when he rose is hand to slap you hard. It burned beautifully.

“—Jisung? Are you done yet? The rest of us are going out.” A female voice called, and rattled the locked door.

“FUCK OFF.” He groaned, and held onto your ass even tighter.

You let out a unamused tsk. “Jisung? That’s your real name?”

He didn’t say anything, but instead swiftly took you in his arms to lay you down. The chill of the floor startled you into wince, but it felt amazing compared to how hot you were. He entered you immediately again, then slung your legs over his shoulders. His blonde hair appeared to bounce a little with each thrust.

You knew exactly what you were doing when you dragged your nails down his arms, waterfalling pink, perfect, lines. His whole body seized at the sensation, sending him into a fury. He licked his hand from palm to fingers, not breaking your gaze as he used it to rub relentlessly at you.

You were on the edge.  

“Want my cum, you whore?”

You were close as well, and it clouded your senses--you felt yourself slipping into him after holding back for so long.

“ye-yes, I want it.”

He came in seconds, doubling over you when he did, panting like a dog, with you gasping just as hard from your own orgasm. He seemed to shake a little as he came down, nearly suffocating you with his body weight. You jiggled your hips just a little to get a rise out of him. You had guessed correctly, someone like him couldn’t take overstimulation.

“Fuck, wait, wait. I-I can’t take anymore.”

You laughed a little and stopped. “You’re no fun.”

“I thought I literally just proved to you that I’m loads of fun.”

“Mmm, I suppose.”

“You liked it?” He ran his hand through his sweaty roots.

“You made me cum, so...usually I have to fake it.”

“Really?”

You nodded.

“I’m honored.” He grinned a little pridefully.

You reached down to your hole to catch a few drops of his cum on your fingers, stretching it out a little and playing with it. He watched you as you did so, eyes wide. You stood to grab his jaw, sticking your fingers in his mouth which he eagerly sucked.

“Where have you been my whole life?” He looked up at you in wonder.

“I’m gonna pretend you didn’t just say that...Jisung.”

He watched you then as you dressed, careful not to forget your gorgeous silver wristwatch.

“I won’t be coming back, so don’t expect that this will happen again.”

“Wait--” He stopped you before you grabbed the door handle. “You didn’t tell me your name--”

“--That’s something you don’t need to know.”

╚ ——————————————— ╝

“Darling, is there anything that I can get you?”

Your manager swept a caring hand to hold you by the small of your back.

“No, thank you though, love.” You shone brightly back to him.

“Just let me know? So far we’ve got a queue for you. Four gentlemen and three ladies. I expect that the tips tonight will be generous...it’s payday.”

You politely nodded. “Of course.”

“Have you been having a hard time with any of the new faces?”

You took a sip of your brandy. “Some of them have some mouth, but I’ll make them dignified. You can trust me.”

“I always do.” He gently kissed your cheek. “Ah, I forgot to mention, one of your customers brought you a gift. It’s in your dressing room; he wants you to wear it for your dance tonight.”

“I do love gifts.”

“Go get ready darling, you haven’t got much more time.”

Once you were in your dressing room, a medium sized white box waited for you on your vanity. There was no labels; no indication that it was from a luxurious brand. You opened it, and the shirt was wrapped in light pink tissue paper. It was too short to be a robe, but it was silk and white with buttons that looked more decorative rather than useful. You figured it must have been your customer’s: many of them got off to you wearing their clothes. It wasn’t your usual style, but you knew how to make anything work.

╚ ——————————————— ╝

“And for our last act of the night: the wonderful, the illustrious...”

You walked out to the silent stage: meant only for you, the stage lights yellow, shrouding you in their brilliance. Your chest was bare, save for the silky shirt falling off your shoulders. They were cheering for you, throwing paper bills at you and calling your name, but you couldn’t hear them at all. You had never felt so whole in your life since being on the stage. It seemed like the rest of your days were just spent chasing some kind of feeling that merely resembled that.

Barefoot, you pranced along the stage, twirling like a ballerina even, letting the shirt billow up just so they could see your perky bottom. With all of their eyes on you, you felt like an absolute vision--like an ethereal being, desired, but impossibly attainable.

The jazz song played on by the live players, a muted trumpet and violins accompanied you. Your eyes swept across the blue velvet curtains of the booths, to every man and woman looking at you in awe. You let the shirt slip just a bit farther, revealing your back, winking. You never had to show them much. It was your charisma that they thirsted for--and that they could only get a small taste of.

╚ ——————————————— ╝

“Darlin’ you’re a catch, an absolute catch.” Your manager snuck up behind you taking your makeup off to hand you the ridiculously fat stack of bills. “You keep us afloat baby, you know that I can’t thank you enough.” He bowed.

“Stop flattering me.” You remarked with a smirk. “I know.”

Your manager left, then the curtain to your room screeched again. He slowly stepped into the light, applauding slightly.

“He’s right you know? Even I can’t get enough of you.”

It was him, cocky smile, swept blonde hair and all.

“You again? I’m surprised that you even made it in here at all. Considering who you are.”

“What? The competition? You didn’t tell them about me, did you?”

You patted some serums into your face. “Better leave soon before they rid you of that handsome face of yours.”

“You saying that I’m handsome?” He snarked.

“What are you doing here anyway?”

“Seeing you, I thought I made that clear? Isn’t that what you were doing when you came to my club?”

“Like what you saw?”

“I stand corrected.” He let up, advancing towards you at your vanity. “And you look just as stunning in my shirt as I thought you would.”

“Your...this is yours? How the hell did you mange that?”

“I have my ways.”

“I suppose you want it back then.”

“No...you can keep it...if you promise me one thing.”

“And what would that be?”

He reached out for your hands, which you tentatively took. He swept you up, pulling you into his chest with eyes dipped in lust.

“I haven’t been able to stop thinking about you.” He spoke onto your lips with heated breath.

You would’ve been lying if you had said his lips didn’t look appetizing.

“One more time.”

“Bold of you to assume that I’d want to fuck you again.”

“You haven’t been thinking of it too? My hands on your body...”He caressed your body down, “My lips on yours?” He pulled you in by the chin to carefully part your lips with his. “My dick filling you up?” He pulled you in closer to feel his pulsating dick. “You don’t think about it?”

“What do you want me to say?”

“That you want me. All you have to do is say it and I’m yours.”

“You’re looking to get killed if they know you’ve touched me.”

“I’d happily die for you.”

“I’ll pretend you didn’t say that...Jisung.”

His lips fell to your neck where he pressed slow kisses onto it. “Just say it...”

The cool of his saliva on your skin met the air, tingling. You couldn’t believe you found yourself considering...

“I know you want to...”

“This won’t be a common occurrence.” You got out, suppressing your moans.

“Is that a yes?”

“...yes.”

“And we’ll see about that.” He slyly grinned, meeting your lips once again.

He swept you up, and your legs naturally wrapped around him. He carried you out of the dressing room to the main hall, pulling you both into the nearest booth, drawing the blue velvet curtains behind him. His eyes devoured you, casting aside his silk shirt that loosely clung to you. You threw your weight onto the table, opening your legs for him, inviting him. He chuckled a little at the action.

“I can imagine you must’ve been thinking of this as well then.” He kissed down your stomach, removing what underwear you were barely wearing. He kissed and sucked at the skin in your inner thighs, kindling your excitement. Spit gathered on his tongue, which he let drip down to your sex which glistened for him.

Your core begged for that feeling once again, that feeling only he could give you: the one that made you feel alive, like you weren’t just chasing some impossibility.

He lapped at you slowly with his tongue, awakening your whole body.

“I fucking want you.”

#FRICK I LOVE THIS CONCEPT #skz smut #stray kids smut #stray kids #jisung x reader #jisung x y/n #han jisung smut #stray kids asks #stray kids drabbles #stray kids imagines #stray kids oneshots #kpop smut #kpop imagines #kpop drabbles #kpop oneshots #stray kids angst

[dayseternal-blog]

If you ever finish answering all of yours awaiting asks...

45 questions for you 👀

https://myaekingheart.tumblr.com/post/650107314353897472/fic-writer-ask-game

Lolllll BADLUCKBREBIS, you are so funny.

Inspiration and Reading Asks:

1. How long ago did you start reading fanfiction? Writing fanfiction?

It looks like I started writing in 2017. I've been reflecting recently on how there are so many regularly active writers now compared to in 2017-2018. It was the tail-end of some of my fave writer's activity within fandom. Utsus was posting less and less. The Tumblr NaruHina fandom seemed to disappear, a whole community of writers left for other things (matchaball, nekomamoru, magmawrites, cherryjutsu, spyder-m, tenney-shoes, eliphya, among others). 2018 was a very quiet year, but! I avidly read katarinahime and bunnyhoodlum's works! In 2019, quirrrky restarted things with NaruHina Week!

2. How do you spend your time when it comes to fanfiction? Are you primarily a fic reader, writer, or a perfect 50/50 split of both?

Recently I’m primarily a reader!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Because there's so many writers now!!!!!!!!

3. Are there any fics that inspired you to write what you do?

Yeah, let’s list them.  “A Special Friend” by agitosgirl inspired “Nightdreams.  “Medicine” by @grimmjowkurosakidrake​ inspired “White Lilies.  “Torch Song” by @mmmbuttery inspired “About You.”  The language in “Unless the World Were to End” by @bunny-hoodlum​ inspired the language in “That was the plan.”  “In Between Drinks” by @peppercornpress inspired “In Between Drinks NH.”

4. Link your three favorite fics right now.

“Operation: Bring Home Naruto” by Dragonwannabe - Rated T, Canon-Divergent, Multi-chapter, Complete. Hinata's been assigned the mission of getting Naruto back home safely after his last dangerous assignment. But can she handle the undercover identity as his girlfriend that she’d been given without revealing her true feelings for him?

“The Mission” by Lunawraythe - Rated M, Canon-Divergent, Multi-chapter, Ongoing. It wasn't that Hinata never expected to work with Naruto, just never on a mission quite like this.

“The Loving Type” by @peppercornpresses - Rated M, Canon-Divergent, Multi-chapter, Ongoing. A few years have passed since the Fourth Shinobi War, in which...Rookie Nine steadily advances in rank. Naruto gets engaged. Hinata leaves Konoha. And Kakashi schemes for days.

5. What are your fanfic pet peeves? Do they have a huge effect on whether or not you decide to read something?

ahhh.  I do have quite a few pet peeves.  If the fic is Canon-Compliant or Canon-Divergent, I expect Naruto and Hinata to behave like Japanese people.  Say what you want, but the Naruto Universe is definitely Japanese in my book.  So that means no shoes in the house.  Nothing rattles me more than reading Hinata taking her sandals off before climbing into bed.  Like, what?  she was wearing her outdoor shoes indoors this whole time??

mmm... another pet peeve is when the writer describes Hinata in a kimono, but it sounds like an American Halloween costume, like the slutty version, instead of an actual kimono.

mmm... and the other big pet peeve I have is when it’s Hinata’s first time eating ramen because Naruto is showing her the wonders of ramen.  lol.  why.  how.  in what world would a Japanese person make it to their teenage years without ever eating ramen.

I have a bunch of other little pet peeves regarding Japanese culture in fanfics.  But in general, it doesn’t stop me from reading the fic if I'm already in the middle of it.  I’ll continue reading it and will probably recommend it to other people anyway. If I can tell based on the summary, then it's not for me, and I don't read it. If this makes anyone feel nervous about writing fanfiction, that's not my intention! I would also be happy to be a sensitivity reader if necessary.

6. How do you find new fic to read? Where do you primarily read fanfiction?

I primarily read fanfics on AO3 and ffnet.  I find new ones by constantly checking the Hyuuga Hinata/Uzumaki Naruto tag on AO3 or looking into a writer’s favorites list on ffnet.

7. Do you prefer to read short fics or long fics?

Short fics.

8. How often do you reblog/comment on fics that you like?

I reblog pretty often. I don't comment as often as I used to😕 I used to comment on every fic I liked.

9. Tag 3 fic writers you think are underrated/unknown in the fandom/fanfiction community.

Uhh?? Idk. I think recently the writing group here is pretty tight, everyone seems to know everyone.

10. What’s your favorite fandom, pairing, or character to read fic for?

Naruto fandom and NaruHina.

Fanfiction Writing Asks:

11. How do you come up with your fic titles?

I usually take it from words used in the story or from the prompt.

12. Tell the author your favorite fic title of theirs (not the fic, strictly title). Author: what’s your favorite title you’ve come up with and why?

I think...maybe "Tell Me of Forevers" or "Nightdreams." I like those because they aren't taken word-for-word directly from the story, but touch on a theme in the story.

13. Do you outline your fics? How much of a headache would someone get if they just looked at an outline of yours without reading the fic?

Yes, I outline. They wouldn't get a headache, I think. It's usually just a summary.

14. Do you have a personal word minimum that you hold yourself too? Why or why not?

Nope. I didn't know people do that.

15. Tell the author your favorite fic of theirs. What’s your (the author’s) favorite fic you’ve written?

My favorite fic continues to be "It's No Secret."

16. Do you research for your fics? If so, how deep of a rabbit hole have you gone down by accident when researching?

Yes, I do. I've done historical and folktale research for "Little Samurai." I did area/location research for "Last Chance." I did historical research for "About You." I did fairy tale research for "Catskin." I did a ton of astronomy research for "The Cowherd and the Weaver Girl." And I did lighting research for "Inspo." I go pretty deep.

17. How obsessively do you sit and stare at your fic after you’ve just posted and wait for feedback?

I don't. I usually have something else I need to do or I go to bed.

18. Do you have a WIP that you keep telling yourself you’ll eventually get back to, but deep down you know that’s probably a lie?

I actually think I can finish all of mine if I just try.

19. Do you edit your fics after you write them, or do you prefer to just hit post and run (because it’s someone else’s problem now)?

I always edit before posting to AO3. Anything I post directly on Tumblr might not be edited.

20. What’s your favorite part about the fanfiction writing process?

Posting!

21. What’s your least favorite part about the fanfiction writing process?

Starting a new chapter.

22. Do you take fic requests? If so, for what characters and why?

On occasion. If someone sends me a request, I'll think about writing it. Sometimes I do write and post it, sometimes I leave them in my drafts for a better day.

23. What’s your absolute favorite trope to write?

From what I already have posted, probably friends-to-lovers, secret relationship/forbidden love, or high school au. I don't think I have an intentional favorite.

24. What’s a trope that you’d like to never hear about as long as you live, let alone write?

Public humiliation / public degradation.

25. Do you listen to music as you write? If possible, link your writing playlist.

No, not usually.

26. What’s your biggest distraction when writing?

Tumblr feed, all the pictures to scroll through mindlessly.

27. Do you like to give your readers some warning of what might be coming or just slap them in the face with content at random?

lol, whatever is fine.

28. How do you deal with writing pressure (ie: pressure to update, negative comments, deadlines, etc)?

Well, pressure to update is not a big deal to me. I do this for fun, so I don't think I unnecessarily pressure myself too much. With negative comments, I don't get too many of those, and I think I do my best to avoid situations where I might get negative feedback.

29. Have you ever written for an exchange or event of some kind? Which one(s)? Did you enjoy it?

Yeah, I like the events. My favorite was NH2020, the year-long one last year. I also enjoyed the Secret Santa last year since @badluckbrebis was my giftee.

30. Post a snippet from your current WIP without context - no more than 300 words.

haha😈

Ecstasy slides through his veins, blooming over his mind, cocooning him in pleasant sensations, cum shooting out in eager twitches against hot, milking flesh.

31. Of the characters you write for, which is your favorite? Has that choice been swayed at all by your followers/readers’ reactions to certain ones?

Naruto Uzumaki, always.

32. Copy and paste your top three favorite lines/jokes/sentences you’ve ever written. What fics do they come from?

Top 3 faves in order:

That was the plan: "She shifts in his arms, and cloth and cleavage come pillowing up to his face, and he’s certain that she’s scooped from the same puffy stuff his adolescent daydreams were made of."

Tell Me of Forevers: "What he wouldn’t do to inspire every blush, every smile of hers for an eternity when such moments already only speak “forever” to him."

White Lilies: "Whether at his feet, in his eyes, ears, mind, if not reaching his heart, she never landed anywhere. (It’s okay.)"

I consider "White Lilies" to have my technically best writing, so it was kind of hard to choose just one line from that fic! But I decided that one's my favorite line from the whole story.

33. What do you like writing better: one shots or multi-chapter stuff?

One-shots.

34. How much of yourself and your life experiences do you put into your writing? What do you think your readers’ image of you is?

A lot of my life experiences are in my writing. Hmm, I think readers probably think I'm...hmm...either empathetic or really perverted?

35. How much has writing fic changed your life?

I spend a lot less time on real-life social media than before.

36. Are there any fics or fandoms you’re embarrassed to have written or been part of?

I'm kind of embarrassed of "Honeymoon at the Hot Springs" lol. It's fine.

37. Give an update on your current WIP - if you don’t have one, give a sneak peek to a title or idea that you have and would like to write.

My current WIP is that A/B/O fic I started for February Smut Month Prompts: Sweet as Candy or Love Bites. I'm going to title it "Sweet As," and it'll be about how Naruto and Hinata become Alpha/Omega mates. It's really kinky, really smutty, and totally what I would want to read.

38. What does your writing process look like? How chaotic is it on a scale of 1 (very tame) to 10 (you can’t handle this kind of chaos)?

uhh???? a 1?? I've never once thought of my writing process as chaotic. Ahh, then I think of bunnyhoodlum's multiple drafts for the same chapter, and I realize that there exist types of writing processes that I would not be able to handle...

39. What’s something about your writing that you pride yourself on?

My smut.

40. How did you come up with the idea for [x fic]?

41. What’s your most popular fic (with the most notes on tumblr, most hits/kudos on ao3)?

Idk about Tumblr,,, maybe White Lilies got the most attention here. My most popular fic is Nightdreams on AO3.

42. Asker: pick three of the author’s works. Author: rank them 1 (the best) - 3 (the worst) based on whatever criteria you want - this could be something totally random that isn’t quality related (like simply ranking fics based on how many trains appear in them) - have fun!

43. Talk about a positive experience with fanfiction or the fanfiction community that you will always remember.

I will always remember how people congratulated me for finishing White Lilies😭 Also, when peppercornpresses made that FIRST art of my story, I just, I just stared at it all day.

44. Rant about something writing related.

hmmm, I don't feel like ranting about anything. I just recently ranted about my pet peeves above.

45. Fic specific questions - if you have any weird questions about specific works, here’s your shot to ask them!

I did them all! Nice questions.

#anon #*anon* #fic writer ask game #i will send these questions right back at you

[koreanmadeingreece]

Why, why, why (7,8)

University student!Yuta x reader

Genre: slight enemies to lovers au, a bit of angst, a lot of fluff, and several mixups

Summary: You just got into uni and decided to move in with your childhood friend!Taeyong at the city where you are going to study. As you’re about to start your new, adult life, you meet his friends, and you realize that not everyone likes you. Nakamoto Yuta in particular almost seems like he hates you.

A/N: In this fic, Jonghyun from NU’EST appears for a while (just to avoid confusion). ALSO I’M AN IDIOT AND I DIDN’T POST AGAIN SOOOO HERE ARE TWO CHAPTERS AHAHAHH HELP.

Warnings: n/a (just a liiiittle bit of making out but seriously nothing, also several fu and shi words hahah)

Word count: 2.6K

Parts 7 and 8/11 (I think) First / Previous / Next

Taglist: @melitadala @chxotickpoptrash @aiforyuu @fineapplehoe (let me know if you’d like to be tagged!)

You had classes, and you also had work to do. You had to spend the next week or two studying for a bit, sometimes stealing some time to see Jonghyun, but other than that, you had developed the habit of going to your local coffee shop with Chan, BamBam, and Yugyeom to study. You spent most of your afternoons like that, as the professors had already started giving you more homework than you could handle. Sometimes you’d stop by Jonghyun’s work and he’d give you your favorite coffee, which you gladly accepted.

You still hadn’t seen Yuta after that night. Maybe you’d run across him at uni or you’d see him leaving your house at night when you came back, but nothing solid. Every time you’d see him, he’d wave at you, which was still progress, but you had to see him. You wanted to talk to him, and you had to make it happen. So, one day, you met him at the entrance of your apartment building.

“Oh, hey, you were with Taeyong?”

“Yeah, he wanted me to help him with some choreos he had to practice.” He answered.

“Oh god, poor neighbors!” you said with a dramatic voice and he laughed. “Good, you’re warming up to me!” you couldn’t help but say.

“Yeah, you can say that.” He said, but you could see he still felt kind of awkward.

“So, do you want to go out with me tomorrow?” you asked.

“Yeah, what time do you get off class?”

“Uh, around 6. Does that work for you?”

“Yeah, maybe I can come pick you up?” he asked. During the entire conversation, you couldn’t help but think how awkward he seemed. He wasn’t stiff or moody like when you’d first met him. He had warmed up to you, and you were happy to enjoy the progress you’d made. You couldn’t wait to tell Taeyong all about this.

“Yeah, that would be nice,” you said, and went for a bold move. Yes, you usually were a hugger, but with this one you could never know. So, you just went for it. He didn’t see it coming of course, and his entire body stiffened for a few seconds, until he finally let loose and hugged you back. It was only for a moment, but you felt close to him in a way. “Goodnight, Yuta.”

“Goodnight, Y/N.”

~ ☼ ~

As you went inside your apartment, you immediately started yelling to Taeyong. “Hey, you’re not going to believe what just happened. Where are you, I need to tell you what Yuta and I just said,” you shouted, when you saw the balcony door open, and someone enter. You saw Taeyong, but also that he wasn’t alone. He clearly gave you the shut-up look, which you didn’t understand at first, but soon realized it was necessary, as a second figure entered the apartment.

“Jonghyun, hi!” fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck. “When did you get here?”

“Hi, Y/N. I got here a few minutes ago. You usually come back around this hour, so I thought I’d surprise you. If you’re too tired, I can always leave, but I knew you had a lot of work to do these days and I just wanted to cheer you up,” he said.

You paused, not knowing what to do. Had he seen everything that just went down between Yuta and you? “Oh my god, you’re so sweet! Yes, I’d love it if you stayed, if Taeyong doesn’t mind of course.”

“Don’t mind me, I was just going to stay and dance for a while anyway,” Taeyong reassured you, still giving you that intense look.

“Then, that’s great! Oh, and I saw Yuta too. He was here a few minutes ago. You barely missed him.”

“Oh, well, it’s alright. He’s usually with Taeyong so I can greet him another day,” you replied. “Why don’t you go to my room for a second and I’ll be right there.” He nodded and left the living room.

“Ok, what’s going on?” Taeyong asked you.

“That’s what I was coming to tell you!” you whispered. “I’ll go out with Yuta tomorrow to reconcile and I really don’t know how you guys didn’t see everything from the balcony. I lost my shit when I saw you there!”

“That’s why I’ve been looking at you like that! I saw everything! But he didn’t. He was sitting on the opposite side of the table, don’t worry. I kept talking to him so that he couldn’t hear anything either, but that means I had no clue what you said. I just saw him like that and then you hugged him and what in the absolute fuck is going on, Y/N?” you knew Taeyong was infuriated but also extremely confused, but you didn’t know what to tell him either.

“I don’t know, he was just so nice and accepting today. He even offered to pick me up tomorrow from uni! So, I just…hugged him? Does that make any sense?” you wondered.

“No, but we won’t talk about this right now. You have a man inside your room!”

Fuck. He was right. You left your stuff in the living room and went inside, only to find Jonghyun looking through stuff on your desk.

“I promise I wasn’t snooping,” he laughed.

“I know. There’s nothing to find anyway, really. I mean, besides some embarrassing photos of school parties I guess.” You joked around, not knowing what to do in a situation like this.

“Well, you’ll show me those one day.” He smirked. “Should we put some music on?”

“Yeah, feel free to put whatever you want.” He took out his phone and found a chill playlist. “You like Dean, I see.”

“You know him? Ah, none of my friends listen to him.” He exclaimed.

“Yeah, he’s one of my favorite singers.” You smiled. You couldn’t help but think how good he looked, awkwardly looking at the stuff in your room. This was your space, and he was fully aware of it. Sometimes you admired how much of a gentleman he was, but that night, you had to blow off some steam. Especially with the way he was dressed that night, you couldn’t resist. He was wearing a grey shirt with a black t-shirt underneath, and tight black pants. This classic but stunning look drove you crazy, and your desire to kiss him grew stronger. In the end, you approached him, pressing your lips against his, driving him closer to the bed.

“Agressive, aren’t we today?” he broke the kiss only for a second, then dove right back.

“Only for the right reasons,” you said, and gently pushed him onto the bed. You climbed on top of him, kissing him all over his neck. You didn’t know what had gotten into you that night, but he was more than eager to follow. He gently slided his hands below the hem of your shirt, slowly lifting it over your hands, revealing your bra. You knew where this was going, and with your emotional state at that moment you had no clue if it was the best time for it. You pushed away those thoughts and started unbuttoning his shirt, then took off his t-shirt as well, leaving him shirtless in your room. The sight of him was angelic, the way his body was pressed so close to you was euphoric, yet all you could think about was the demon inside your head – Yuta.  

You mentally slapped yourself and brought your mind back to the moment you were currently living, which was a shirtless Jonghyun right underneath you.

“Wait, Y/N, as much as I love seeing you shirtless, we have to stop,” he said. “We’ve known each other for a few weeks, and also, Taeyong is in the next room!” he laughed.

“You’re right,” you chuckled. You didn’t know if you wanted to ignore his comment and continue what you were doing or take this as an excuse to not do anything that night. You were confused as hell. You laid down next to him and wrapped your hand around his stomach, taking the time to relax and cuddle for a while until he had to go. He had class the next day, and so did you.

Well, for you it was more than just class. You had to mentally prepare yourself to spend the afternoon with Yuta.

When Jonghyun left, you were one hundred percent ready to text everything to Chan. You immediately took your phone and sat on the couch. It was already past 10:30, and Taeyong was feeling a bit tired, so he headed to bed.

You: HELP. I’m going out with Yuta tomorrow. Also I found Jonghyun here when I came back and right after I hugged Yuta at the entrance. He didn’t see it bc he was with Taeyong but after that we made out and all I could think about is tomorrow.

Chan: Wait.

Chan: Hold on.

Chan: I’ll just ignore the very sweet fact that Jonghyun came to surprise you and focus on the fact that you were making out with him and thinking about Yuta.

Chan: Y/N, what the fuck.

You: I have no clue.

You: I don’t know what’s going on. I think that in my effort to reconcile with him things got a bit…messy? Idk. Now I’m more interested in being in good terms with him rather than my own boyfriend? That doesn’t even make any sense.

Chan: You do realize this is seriously messed up, right?

You: Yeah, I mean

You: Wait, doorbell

Chan: Wait

Chan: No

Chan: Y/N you’d better come straight back and fill me in!

You looked through the peephole and saw Yuta again. What was he doing there that late? You opened the door and saw the flustered look on his face when he saw it was you.

“Hi. What’s going on?”

“Uh, I forgot my charger and I don’t have a second one and I’d be without a phone if I didn’t come get it. Sorry about that.”

“Oh, come in. Where did you leave it? I hope it’s not in Taeyong’s room because he’s already asleep,” you joked.

“No, it’s right here on the coffee table. Thanks.” He grabbed it and turned around to leave, but you had a different idea in mind. Not even knowing what had gotten into you, you immediately stopped him.

“Hey, um, if you don’t have an early class tomorrow morning, you can stay for a while. Taeyong’s asleep but we can hang out if you’re up for it,” you suggested.

Shocked at your suggestion, Yuta stood close to the door for a few seconds, unsure of what to do. “Are you sure?”

“I mean, I don’t have an early class tomorrow and I can’t sleep yet anyway. Only if you’re ok with it of course.” You were calmer than ever. You knew this could end up being very wrong, with either one of you getting brutally stabbed after a huge fight, but you were willing to take the risk. “But we should go outside if we don’t want to wake Taeyong up.”

“Sure.”

You grabbed your phone and sent Chan a quick text.

You: Yuta’s here. We’re going to hang out. Crap. I’ll tell you later.

Chan: Wtf Y/N come back

Chan: No don’t leave me like this!

Chan: Fuck I need the details and you’re giving them to me tomorrow in class

Read

You followed him outside and sat next to him, facing the road. You had to admit that Taeyong had found you a house with a great balcony view. You grabbed your jacket and brought him one of Taeyong’s, as it was late, and it had started getting cold.

“Thanks,” he said and put it on. It fit surprisingly well with his other clothes, a black tank top and grey sweatpants. He seemed oddly attractive even in this simple clothing that he probably didn’t even realize anyone would see when he left his house to come back to yours.

“It looks good on you. You should steal it from Taeyong. He’ll probably let you have it anyway.”

“You think so?”

“Yeah, the man’s ready to do whatever you say. He really loves you, you know.” You reassured him.

“No, do you think I’m attractive?” he asked, and you honestly didn’t know what to say. He was attractive as hell, but it wasn’t really the best way to phrase it.

“Yeah, I do.” You paused and saw a smirk form on his lips, even though he tried to hide it. You liked the feeling of making him smile, so you decided to keep it up. “I think I’d have hit on you if we hadn’t been fighting when we first met.” It was kind of a bold move, and you knew it. But there wasn’t anything stopping you, since he knew you had a boyfriend, and you had already told him that you found him attractive.

“Wait, really?” He turned to you wide-eyed.

“Yeah, I think so.”

“And you’re saying this so casually?”  

“I guess so. I’m usually not that bold, but you were the one who asked.” You paused. “I could lie to you next time, maybe tell you that you’re barely noticeable. And you know it’s not true.”

“Well, if you put it that way,” he chuckled.

“And the jacket definitely helps. You should steal it. You put up with Taeyong’s craziness, so you deserve it.”

“That’s true. You can’t believe how nuts he was the first two years. Now he has more homework and more difficult practice sessions, so it’s not like he has the energy to be like he was when he first got here. Sometimes I thought he’d explode,” he said.

“I know exactly what you mean. You should’ve seen him in his last year of high school. He was barely manageable. His mom was going crazy, and my mom practically put everything away when he stayed over.”

“It sounds like you had a lot of fun though.”

“Yeah, those were quite memorable times. We were both very young though.” You smiled, as you had gotten nostalgic after bringing back all those memories.

“You’re still young. It’s your first year of uni, Y/N.” He laughed.

“True, but you’re only two years older than me. You’re not that much older.”

He was about to second guess you and get all defensive towards you, but at the last minute he just agreed. “You’re right.”

At about that point, both of you had stopped staring at the road and had started looking at each other. The conversation had dragged you both into a light-headed state that you couldn’t exactly describe, but it was a pleasant feeling that you didn’t want to let go.

After a few seconds of silence, you heard him say the words that would change everything. “Everyone deserves to be young and foolish every once in a while.”

With those words, you started leaning closer and closer to each other, unable to pull away. Your lips were merely a few centimeters apart from each other when the balcony door opened.

“What are you guys doing up so late?” Taeyong was barely awake, wrapped up in a blanket, but he was staring at you.

“Oh hi, Taeyong, I thought you had gone to bed!” you exclaimed.

“Yeah, I just wanted some water. I’ll go right back to sleep. You should sleep too, guys. It’s almost 12,” he said, and went right back in. You realized he hadn’t seen or heard whatever was going on between Yuta and you, which was definitely a relief, but now you had to face Yuta.

“Uh, he’s right. I have to go.” He immediately got up and grabbed his stuff, leaving you speechless on the balcony. After staying like that for a few minutes, you realized he had forgotten his charger again, and this time he was definitely not coming back to get it.

#yuta x reader #yuta x you #yuta headcanons #yuta angst #yuta fluff #nakamoto yuta x reader #nakamoto yuta x you #nakamoto yuta angst #nakamoto yuta fluff #nakamoto yuta headcanons #nakamoto yuta fanfic #nct yuta x reader #nct yuta x you #nct yuta headcanon #nct yuta fanfic #nct yuta angst #nct yuta fluff #yuta #nakamoto yuta #nct yuta #kpop #fanfic

[casnextdoor]

30 questions Game!

i was tagged by the lovely @oasiswithmyg 💕

1. Name/Nickname; my Name is Casaandra but please please i am begging you .,, call me cas .

2. Star Sign; I am a pisces .

3. Height; 5’4

4. Birthday; February

5. favorite band; i got quite a few.,, BTS GOT7, Stray Kidz, Chase Atlantic, at one point i was a HUGE seventeen and blackpink stan .,, not so much anymore.,, odd future if you consider them a band .,, and Ateez

6. favorite solo artist; lemme preface by saying,,, separate the art from the artist . that being said ,,, im really into brent faiyaz, H.E.R, tyler, the creator, frank ocean, sza, partynextdoor.., summer walker.,, daniel ceasar.,, kali uchis.,, joey Bada$$ , joji.,, clairo, miguel… i feel like you can see where this is going . very versatile when it comes to todays music .

7. time; 2:56 pm

8. Song stuck in my head; Friends by Chase Atlantic for some reason and The Need To Know by SZA

9. Last movie i watched; the bee movie .,, idk why either but i put it on to fall asleep and then i got kinda intrigued because when i first seen it .,, i hated it … but it was kinda … inch resting

10. free space; Im allergic to peanut butter and shell fish .,, but i love them . so i always keep an epipen and Benadryl on me .

11. Last show i watched; Manifest ., and i rewatched naruto and my hero

12. When was this blog created; Okay so this one .,, i created last … august i think . but i had one before this and .,, yeah .

13. what i post; bullshit .

14. last think i googled; pinkpantheress. they are an interesting artist and i like their music.

15. other blog .,, i got one but its more of a personal situation .,, if u find it .,, thats cool too

16. do i get asks; not a lot but yes .,, mostly becuz my wife really likes to give me writing prompts to get my mind working .,,

17. why did i choose my url; originally it was brattybae00; and that’s because when i was younger and i did have a semi good relationship with my father; he lovingly (i think) use to call me brat . for context an often used sentence would be “what do you want for dinner, brat? I was thinking pizza.” i changed it because i haven’t gotten along with my dad in years and the name kinda soured over time,, and i had nothing else to use for tumblr . now it casnextdoor because 1) i love partynextdoor’s music.,, and because its very average . something someone wouldn’t really think twice about .

18. following; i follow 87 people .,, i am N O T naming every single one of them .

19. followers; im almost at 100 which FUCKING COOL ! but yeah .,,

20. i dont really sleep at night . but on a good day maybe 6 hours . on a bad day not at all .

21. lucky number.,, 3. and ill explain just a bit . im 3rd born out of all 6 of my siblings (dont ask😕) the letter in my name is the third letter of the alphabet and because three alwats seems to pop up everywhere for me .

22. instruments; saxaphone . not explaining further .

23. what am i wearing; my work shirt and my roommates boxers .

24. a fucking BEHAVIORAL ANALYSIS !! growing up i watch A LOTTTTT of criminal minds which is kinda how i picked my major . because i wanna meet the garcia to my derek . thats a joke .

25. favorite food; store bought ramen and anything that can be eaten with Nutella and taste good .

26. tea or coffee; depends on the day .

27. Nationality; i feel like thats different from race so specifically.,, i am hispanic and haitian .

28. favorite song; My time by Jk ..,, Mic Drop by BTS.,, paper hearts by tori kelly, OHMAMI by Chase Atlantic .

29. Last Book I read; Paper Towns by John Green ; i sincerely love that mans work

30. top 3 fictional universes id want to live in; Harry Potter because why not.,, twilight because someone gotta slap sense into bella.,, haikyuu because bokuto🥺

tagging my love @jaysdimples

[sumeshi-t]

random 1AM horny thots: the boi's reaction when seeing fem!s/o get a food baby after eating too much lol

characters: oikawa and ushijima (for now; might add a few more later on 😙✌🏻)

aksjdjajh pls enjoy my midnight brain vomit. i know this ain't too good and idk if it's been done before or not but oh well, here it goes 🥵

im shy but ackck im gon tag u @seijoh 🥺 i hope u feel better and sleep well tonite

Oikawa Tooru:

you surprised your bf by going to argentina so you could celebrate his birthday together

you asked help from some of his teammates he's told you about, and they were in on the surprise.

the moment you entered the gym where they trained, he hits a powerful serve, fueled by his excitement after just seeing a glimpse of you from the corner of his eyes. he got a service ace from that, even you were sure it was over 110km/h

then this boy just runs up to you, trapping you in his embrace, your feet off the ground and spinning you around

then comes the cake his teammates got him, someone on the side was actually recording all this. he was already peppering your face with kisses and you two just looked so damn happy even the coach was smiling wtf

so anyway, you guys go out that night and eat

oikawa tells you what food he likes, and what he thinks you were gonna like and he's so spot on like he knows you so well he even brings out the 100% out of your tastebuds—

lol

you were so full from all the food, so full from the love, attention, and affection your boyfriend was showering you that you felt "drunk"

trust me that shit happens. y'know, like food coma? yeah, you ate a lot and it feels like you actually got high on sum dr*gzz

it was time to call it a night, you gave the team some japanese souvenirs as a way of thanking them, not just about tooru's bday, but also because they're taking care of your man really well 🥺

oikawa brings you back to his apartment, apologizes for not having cleaned up and you say you didn't mind because really, it wasn't that dirty or like the jungle-type madness but even then, he goes straight up to at least making the place neat for the two of you so he cleans some of his mess

there was a full body mirror on the far wall, it reflects his bed and him moving about behind you. you were checking yourself out and you ended up chuckling

you put a hand on your low back and another to rub your belly. you were wearing such a body-hugging outfit so the food baby was hella obvious

"look tooru, i'm pregante," you laugh at your own joke and continue to rub your belly

oikawa lichrally stops. and just stares. at your smiling face then down to where your hands were placed.

this boy gulps. why was he feeling so thirsty all of a sudden-?

when you didn't hear him respond, you turn to look at him and he was already making his way toward you.

he wraps his arms around you, hands on your belly. there was no music but you two were swaying to the sound of each other's heartbeats.

without a word, his lips went straight for your neck, nipping and sucking; his hot breath tickling your sensitive skin, hands busy touching you everywhere.

you see him smirk while whispering, "seeing you like that babe, it just makes me want to knock you up so bad,"

next thing you know you were both naked on the bed, facing the mirror

you were on your knees, watching yourselves as your boyfriend took you from behind, your back arched against his chest while his hand gripped on your neck and the other firm against your hickey-filled abdomen; cum was already leaking out of your abused hole you actually lost count how many times the two of you came—

this was a fulfilling kind of feeling full.

and sure enough, you were bringing home with you a different kind of surprise when you went back to japan.

Ushijima Wakatoshi:

it was The Grandma Ushijima's 80th birthday

yeah that lady who wanted to correct your boyfriend's left handedness. she's still alive n kicking

yours and ushijima's schedules were freed up for a few days to help out in the celebration and of course, you stay in the Ushijima ancestral home

yes, ancestral home. tatami mats and all. but high quality ones with silk covers and stuff.

his family didn't mind having you two sleep in the same room; bc ngl they've been wanting a great grandchild.

the sooner the better

like fuck marriage, they want to see results first.

in the three days you spent there, you notice how yours and wakatoshi's tea is different, like is that some kinda ginseng floating around there-? type of different

or how they dug up all of his cute baby pics aww, look at his cute bare bottom

i also hc wakatoshi used to thumbsucc the left thumb it b cute and adorable, you were gushing until whoever was talking to you say that they can't wait to see him have a son or a daughter

anyway, the party soon came along

wakatoshi loved it when he saw you playing with the cousins' children, and how much you just fit in with the family

if he could, he'd have gotten on his knee there to propose, though he didn't have a ring... also, he didn't want to steal the spotlight from his grandma

sometimes he wonders if you were actually a long lost relative

bc also goddamn, your cooking is *chef's kiss* top notch, michelin chef, gordon ramsay approved

and what better way to reward yourself for a job well done is to self-appreciate the craft you yourself created

needless to say, your big appetite got yourself a big food baby after dinner

thus it was now bedtime, children were now asleep, other relatives already back in their own homes

this was the last night you two were staying over

you were lying on your side, face to face with wakatoshi; you were the one mostly doing the talking, jumping from family matters to his volleyball career

then your hand idly rested on your belly, rubbing it, and then you laugh, recalling the encounter you had with some of the Ushijima elders and aunts

"toshi, they really want me to get pregnant so bad. do you think they'll stop pestering me if i show myself like this?" you pat your food baby belly and snicker

his eyes wander towards your belly and he just froze in his spot

the sight of and the prospect of you carrying his child in that body of yours just flipped a switch inside of him. he reaches for your face, eyes now locked with yours. you melt under his big, warm hand, unaware of the brewing storm of emotions your boyfriend was having

"y/n"

"hmm?"

"i think the aunts are right,"

"what...?"

"i... want you to have my child, but... do you?"

which basically translates into "i want to fuck your brains out, may i?"

consent is sexy mhhm

he's so gentle, so careful with his movements, he treats your body like a sacred temple, his every kiss a wordless declaration of worship;

this baby bear was honestly just afraid of breaking you because he knows after that night, wakatoshi jr. will be next who's going to stir up your insides to make space for its growth

you really had to beg him, "more, harder!"

you really had to taunt him, "how are you gonna make me pregnant if you don't go deeper–oh,"

wakatoshi let go of the last string of self-control he had, that your face was pushed against the tatami mat, ass in the air, your hips slapping against each other

you oh-so-tried not to make much noise, but you knew how much wakatoshi loved that

you were sure that anyone who happened to pass by that room was gonna be so embarrassed yet so elated at the huge possibility of having another member to The Ushijima clan

#haikyuu #haikyuu headcanon #haikyuu imagine #oikawa tooru #ushijima wakatoshi #ushijima wakatoshi x reader #oikawa tooru x reader #haikyuu hc #x reader #fem s/o

[elderbwrry]

Even if he doesn't say so

A little darkgingerpilot Witcher AU I discussed months ago with @cleversturmhond I have no concept of how time passes anymore

Summary: The Witcher meets a bard, the bard meets a mage, and they travel the continent. Kylo knows what he feels, but he can't seem to act. Hux acts without talking about things. And Poe... well, what does Poe feel?

Tags: Witcher AU, Inspired by The Witcher, Slow Burn, if you count 13k as slow burn i guess, within the story its slow burn, fantasy medieval setting, Self-Indulgent, Mage Hux, witcher kylo, Bard Poe, scenic, They're oblivious, sex references, Yearning, i guess, im slapping a mature on it for sex references and some minor violence but honestly ehhh idk, darkgingerpilot

Chapter 1/2/3/?, wordcount 5012

also on Ao3

Whenever someone asked Kylo, he always said he preferred to keep to himself and the company of Silence, his horse and his best companion for the very fact of her name; she didn't talk, she didn't disturb the meditative quiet of his lonely rides, and, most importantly, he wasn't unsure how to curry her favour. An apple would do it. His current companions, on the other hand...

For some gods-forsaken reason, Poe and Hux were quarrelling about a composer who had been dead for over a century. When the three of them had first started travelling together years ago, and in the short time since they'd reunited, such discussion had been endearing; both of them were opinionated about certain things, and their conversations often turned into little debates over whatever topic arose while they were travelling. This was one of those occasions, Kylo enjoying listening to their thoughts and voices filling up the worn country roads. A throwaway comment had become interesting; Kylo didn't actually know much about this particular composer, whereas Hux and Poe both did, and, though Kylo didn't often contribute to these discussions in any great detail since the other two were both so much better with words, he did like to learn something new occasionally. But now, several hours into their journey and still on the same subject, it was just getting fucking annoying.

“I literally studied her work. You can't just turn around and say she wasn't revolutionary,” Poe objected, trotting along between Silence and Hux's own horse on the wide bridleway, looking up at Hux indignantly.

Poe's lowered position made it seem slightly laughable when Hux looked down at him and countered, “Since I actually met the woman, I think you'll find I can,” before prompting his horse to walk on ahead of them.

Poe picked up his pace a little and continued the argument, making some musical point Kylo didn't understand either. He tried to tune them out a bit as he let Silence drop back a short distance behind the them.

Considering how much time the three of them spent around each other in recent years, Kylo supposed he should be glad disagreements as lengthy as these were relatively few. And, certainly, they were fewer even than when it had only been Kylo and Poe on the path together.

[break]

Kylo had met Poe many years ago – at least a decade, if he thought about it – when he'd been compelled by his work to go through the city he'd been born in. Not only was the place particularly unfriendly to Witchers, but also had relations of his – distant now, yet he wanted to avoid them nonetheless – in positions of authority. Kylo had used a fake name, a low hood to hide his eyes, his scar, and stuck to the dingiest taverns, but a curly-haired, high-born young man had recognised him anyway, sitting himself down confidently at Kylo's corner table, offering his name, and saying, “I know you. You're that famous Witcher.”

Kylo had eyed his unwelcome acquaintance – Poewas what he introduced himself as – guessing that he couldn't yet be twenty summers old. Of course, Kylo was no good with ages – his own longevity had corroded his sense for them until everyone seemed either old or young in confusing measures – but Poe's next request had practically confirmed his suspicion.

“Would you let me come with you?” Poe had asked the second the bar-wench had placed down Kylo's ale.

“Come with me where?” Kylo grunted. He wasn't in the mood to bodyguard some noble, out for the first time in a world without castle walls.

“Well, where are you going?” Poe's eyes had glinted as he offered Kylo a charming smile.

Kylo had appraised him again, taking in his youth, his rich clothes, his courage, and summarily said, “No.”

Poe's smile didn't drop, even though Kylo could see his only half-amused chuckle for the frustration it was. “Come on, I just wanna see a bit of the world. Get away from my guardian's expectations.”

“The Queen?” Kylo had asked, an imprudently displayed gold ring on the youth's finger catching the light.

Poe had shrugged a yes.

It only made Kylo refuse all the more. The Queen was one of the people Kylo was known to by unfortunate fact of his heritage, someone he never wanted to anger, in case of her having some cause to meet with him personally. Poe, while not her blood family, would surely be missed, as her ward, were he to make off with a Witcher, especially with the one so primarily known for the massacre at Crait.

Poe's gaze went steely at Kylo's final dismissal, and he'd left the tavern quickly after that. It couldn't have been two years later when Kylo encountered the young man again, fine doublet swapped for something a little more incognito in orange and brown tones, a lute slung over his back and all the more determination to see everything.

Kylo hadn't refused him a second time, and he wouldn't have been able to, since Poe no longer had any qualms about following him uninvited. Thus, he had a new travelling companion.

Just as he suspected, Poe was a liability in some aspects of the job where monsters were concerned, but Poe had also dragged him, limping, back to camp before, bandaged his wounds, fetched his potions. His life had undeniably turned for the better with the bard around; Poe was a talented musician, it turned out, and the extra income and incentive to stay at inns meant Kylo was now more acquainted with feather pillows than he'd ever hoped to be. The positive company had made Kylo better as well, at talking to people, at putting up with them, at giving life nuance. His path was lighter with Poe on it.

They became comfortable around each other. They began to argue, about the silly things people who know each other well and cared for each other deeply argue about, about which direction to head in, which inn to stop at, about the jacket Kylo had left to get trampled by the last monster he'd fought. Barely a day went by without some kind of silly quibble to that effect, but it never truly changed the form of their relationship.

Then, they'd met Hux.

[break]

Kylo had been around long enough that he'd thought he'd heard of most of the other powerful, non-mortal beings on the continent, so randomly running into an evidently strong mage like Hux, who he'd never heard of, was a bit surprising. Kylo had been employed to go and rid a keep up on the hill of whatever it was that was plaguing it. He was expecting to take a while to figure it out, but when he arrived, the malevolent spirits were revealed easily by the mage already locked in battle with them.

The fight the man was putting up was impressive, given the sheer number of foes. He was spewing fire everywhere, manipulating the elements to his will, his bright hair and swan-white robe whipped around by the wind he was creating, but eventually Kylo could see he was losing, and so joined him in the fight. It was fortuitous that they were both there, as Kylo certainly couldn't have defeated them all on his own either. When the last spirit was destroyed, however, Hux had spun round, announced that he had decidedly notrequired the help of some filthy Witcher, and flounced off. He'd gotten about ten paces when he collapsed from the sheer exertion of having used his magic in such a manner.

So Kylo had carried the mage back to camp and laid him down on his bedroll to recuperate.

Poe was travelling with Kylo at that time, and, though he was surprised to see Hux, he seemed very glad to see Kylo back from the fight, juiced up on potions but otherwise unharmed. His smile had made Kylo's heart do something he didn't really understand, the same thing it did when Poe met his gaze during a performance at whatever tavern they were staying at, the same when Kylo said something complimentary to him. Indeed, it was becoming more and more of a common feeling, and Kylo was finding that he rather liked it.

When Kylo suggested he should probably go find a rabbit or something for dinner, Poe seemed happy enough to watch over the mage until he returned, and Kylo had picked his way into the forest they were camping on the edge of with his head full of thoughts of Poe. His distraction had meant he took longer than usual to catch something, and when he got back, it was to find Poe backed against a tree, Hux threatening him using a dagger Kylo hadn't realised he'd had on him.

“Kylo!” Poe had shouted when he saw him – and again, the weird thing Kylo's heart did around Poe – equal parts relieved and pissed off.

Hux relaxed only slightly at knowing whose camp it was he had been brought to, and, once Kylo had convinced him to lower the weapon, he protested strongly that he didn't want anyone's help or charity, and that he was offended to have been carried around like some damsel. Poe told him he was very welcome to fuck off, but it soon became clear that Hux wasn't in any shape to be going off on his own, so he stayed with them that night.

Kylo was settling in to sleep on the opposite side of the fire to Hux when Poe dumped his bedroll down next to him, closer than usual – cue the weird heart thing again – and lay down. All Kylo had managed to ask was, “What are you doing?”

Huffing, Poe leaned up to peer over Kylo's arm at where Hux was lying, turned away from them on the far side of their little camp. “He tried to kill me today. I don't wanna wake up with my throat cut for some magey shit.”

Kylo considered pointing out that Poe wouldn't wake up at all if his throat had been slit, but he was more struck by the implication that Poe was trusting him to protect him. Usually, people were more likely to fear that Kylo would be the one killing them after whatever monster he'd been hired to dispatch, but Poe was different, and always had been, really. He insisted that Kylo had good in him, that he wasn't all the darkness that Witchers were supposed to be. He wasn't entirely right, of course, but it was nice to have someone hope in him.

So instead of making the bard move away, all Kylo had said was, “You'll get cold, so far from the fire,” and offered Poe an extra side of his own blanket.

One night of Hux staying with them turned into two, into three, into a week's travel to the neighbouring city. In fact, Kylo was almost sad to see the severe mage leave, as it meant he and Poe went back to their usual sleeping arrangements, instead of curling up together with Kylo as his shield.

[break]

Months later, to Kylo's surprise, Hux sought him out. He was after a gem of something something and he needed hired muscle that he could trust would actually get the job done. Hux had found them by the coast, and the first thing he said as he took Poe in was, “You're still travelling with him, are you?” Kylo wasn't sure whether the question was meant for him or Poe, but they'd both answered definitively.

The month and a half of travel it took to reach the mountain cave system in which the gem was kept saw Poe and Hux grow accustomed to each other, if not strictly friendly. Poe didn't resume his habit of sleeping next to Kylo, Hux didn't try to kill Poe again, and eventually they stopped speaking to each other in jibes and barbs.

Hux and Kylo also ended up bonding; they would sit together in taverns while Poe was performing and talk, about things that they remembered from when they were young, things Poe had learned only from his history professors. It was nice to have someone who related, who had experienced similar things to him, who understood what it was to be not-quite human and tied to a duty they didn't quite want. Hux had been raised in magic, it turned out, and, as they talked, Kylo realised it wasn't so different to being raised into killing as he had been. The small, commiserating smiles Hux offered struck Kylo deeply, and one day he realised that Hux, bathed in the yellow, glowing tavern light, was beautiful.

When they reached the cave systems that were their destination, Poe had to stay in the local town while Hux and Kylo went in search of the gem, since the place was too unknown and dangerous to risk him coming. And it did turn out to be dangerous; Hux and Kylo each saved each others' life a few times, had several close calls, and, once all the stress and danger of the adventure had turned into the satisfaction of success, they translated that pent-up tension into a vigorous fuck on the way out.

“I don't know why you keep him around,” Hux commented as they trudged back to the town to meet Poe, gem firmly in his grasp. “He can't help you with your work like I could.”

Kylo supposed that was true. “He helps me be better,” Kylo replied, which was also true.

Hux made a derisive sound. “Does he, now.”

Kylo shook his head at Hux's tone. “Why don't you like him? You have plenty in common.”

“It's not that I don't like him,” Hux said, tossing his head to get a strand of hair which had slipped in front of his eyes out of the way. Considering Kylo was grimy and dishevelled from the fighting, Hux's deep crimson tunic still looked remarkably put together, and it gave him a haughty air as he said, “I know his type. I've served them in courts all over the continent for centuries. They think they're entitled to everything without working for it and without thanking the people who actually make it possible. He's just another ungrateful, mortal noble.”

Kylo thought about what he said for a good minute. “You're wrong,” he said.

[break]

Back at the inn, Poe had the entire town in the palm of his hand thanks to his songs. He looked charming as ever, flashing smiles to all the ladies who were fawning over him, but Kylo was happy to see that, when Poe spotted them enter, his smile softened and a new light entered his eyes. This time, the flip in Kylo's heart felt more natural than ever.

When Kylo emerged from the bathhouse, Poe was already waiting in his room for a full account of the adventure so he could turn it into his latest ballad. Kylo related what happened as he usually did, keeping to the bare facts and trusting Poe to make them into pretty wordplay later, until he got to the end, at which point he decided that Poe didn't strictly need to know that Hux had pushed him up against the wall of the cave and kissed him with a ferocity he wasn't likely to forget any time soon.

But Poe noticed the brief hesitation and looked up from his little book where he'd been scribbling notes. “What?” he asked.

Kylo shrugged. “Nothing. We left to come back here,” he said, pulling the shirt he was wearing off and reaching for a different one.

“Did something bite you?”

Kylo could hear the frown in Poe's voice, and he turned back to see Poe's eyes locked on a slightly bruised, reddish ring low on his neck. A vague recollection surfaced in Kylo's mind of Hux tugging down his collar, once his outer layer of armour was off, and digging his teeth hard into the flesh over that spot. He hummed, reaching up to rub at it and thus hide it from Poe's sight. “Must have.”

Poe stood up and approached, batting Kylo's hand out of the way, which he couldn't find the motivation to resist. When Poe ran his thumb over the bruise, he was so warm Kylo pushed into the touch. If Poe noticed, he didn't comment, his brow was deeply furrowed. “What kind of monster even has teeth like that?”

A knock came on the door. “Kylo,” Hux called from outside, “we need to talk about payment.”

“I'm...” Kylo hesitated, feeling strangely and suddenly like he'd betrayed Poe. “I'm coming.”

Kylo wasn't sure what about him looked guilty, but Poe seemed to realise at that moment where the mark came from. “Oh,” he said, stepping away and back to his book.

Not long after that, Poe announced his intention to head back to his home kingdom. Kylo's mouth went dry. It was Hux who had to ask the platitudes – did he have some business to attend to? How long did he think he would stay? - which Poe replied to blandly, something about responsibility to his mentors. Kylo wanted to ask him to stop, to stay, but all he managed to get out was, “I'll miss you.”

[break]

Time passed.

Poe left for home, taking his light and song with him.

Kylo spent one winter with Hux, back in the keep where they'd first met, which Hux had appropriated for himself, but it was all wrong; there was a grounding influence missing, without which the two of them spent more time treating each other angrily than well. The sex was amazing, but eventually, it felt hollow. The day it became clear that the harshest weather had blown over, Kylo was back on Silence, looking for the next contract out on a monster, something he could hack into pieces without thinking.

The seasons changed, fled and returned until it had been another year. Kylo was firmly back in the blank swing of contract, monster, payment, move along, but the campfire felt lonely after dark, when he had nothing to occupy his mind. He started talking to Silence; she never replied.

Sometimes, Kylo found himself wondering how long it would be until he ran into Hux again, and if he would even want to see him. Maybe he could make the way they left things up to him. They'd had something, after all, and, though it hadn't been perfect, he missed that feeling of love and understanding and protection which Hux provided. Kylo didn't hold out much hope of seeing Poe; he never went near his home city, and why would Poe venture out again? He'd seen his share of the world. He was back in his real life, now.

But eventually, those nights of wondering wore Kylo down, and, quite without intending to, he found himself directing Silence down the path to the kingdoms neighbouring Poe's.

There, Kylo found himself invited to the royal tourney of Queen Phasma, as a guest of honour. She was a renowned warrior, and Kylo reasoned that it would be rude to decline the request of such an esteemed ruler. He reasoned that perhaps she would even have some work for him. He reasoned a lot of things, in his attempt to deny to himself that the real reason was hope that a tourney would be more than enough cause for a neighbouring noble to be in the area, or even just a bard...

The festivities were festivities. It was strange, to watch others fight instead of having to do it himself, and for performance rather than necessity. Though sometimes the rush of people grated on him, Phasma was a gracious host and Kylo enjoyed the good food well enough, always keeping an eye out for some shock of red hair, or those cheerful, dark curls he so hoped for.

His vigilance yielded one of those prizes.

A tall, beautiful, severe looking man entered the great hall one evening for the feast, walking directly up to the main table at which Phasma and Kylo were seated, and didn't even falter when he recognised Kylo's distinctive scar, yellow eyes, dark garb.

“Hux!” Phasma exclaimed standing and marching around the table to pull the man into a hug, which he returned with surprising readiness, “My dear friend, it has been too long!”

Hux gave a half-bow. “I'm sorry I'm late, I was caught up with business.”

“Ah, yes, business,” Phasma said knowingly, “and where is Lord Dameron?”

Hux's eyes flitted over to Kylo's for the briefest of seconds. “Altogether too caught up with his teaching to bother with a tournament, I'm afraid.”

“Well you must tell him I want him at the next one.” With that, she made to retake her seat again, gesturing at Kylo. “Kylo, this is Hux, currently an advisor to court in the neighbouring kingdom and the most talented mage in all the continent. Hux, Kylo, the Witcher.”

“Yes, we've met,” Hux understated, settling his gaze on Kylo fully, now, and extending his hand to Kylo over the table. Not sure what he was expected to do, Kylo gave Hux his hand, and Hux took it, raising it to his lips and kissing Kylo's knuckles.

Kylo wasn't entirely certain if he could blush any more, since the mutations which had turned him into a Witcher, but if he could, he was sure he was, what with so many people around to witness a display of affection which Kylo was unused to at the best of times. Along with that, relief, because it made him feel suddenly like all was forgiven without him having to wrangle the words around an apology.

“Hux, stop that and sit down!” Phasma reprimanded, “The players will begin soon.”

It was only as Hux sat down that Kylo realised the empty chair on his right had likely always been for Hux. No sooner had he settled than the players flooded the floor, dancing into their performance of an old, famous play, something about two supernatural kings vying for the affection of a mortal with all sorts of fanciful gifts.

“This version is better than the original,” Hux remarked a short while in, and Kylo hummed out an assent, though he had never seen it when it first was performed. He was probably too busy wading through drowner guts, or something similarly uncouth.

“So, you're in Poe's court, now?” Kylo asked instead. “Is he king?”

“No,” Hux remarked, picking up his goblet of wine and keeping his gaze on the players. “Nor does he want to be. The Queen has plenty of other worthy successors, and Poe would much rather go back to spending his days as a bard.” He tutted. “Even if he doesn't say so.”

“Why are you there?”

He sighed. “I wanted to see what you meant about him not being like the others, so I offered my services to the Queen.” Kylo hummed again, and this time, Hux turned to look at him. “You were quite right. He's different. I find myself rather taken with him.”

Kylo reached for his own wine now, his mouth suddenly dry. “Oh. Have you..?”

“No. Kylo...” Hux placed his cup down and leaned to the side so his shoulder was brushing Kylo's, even as Kylo was resolutely not looking at him. “He misses you. And I know you miss him.”

As if by design, the lutist started to play, and both their eyes went to the young woman performing in the corner. Kylo found himself thinking, perhaps uncharitably, that she wasn't as talented as Poe, her song wasn't as sweet.

Hux didn't fail to notice this. “I think we should travel together again,” he said.

“We?”

“You and I and Poe,” Hux said, as though it were obvious. “Like we did those few months travelling in from the coast. I've found myself thinking about them a lot.”

Kylo shrugged. “It was only a few months. Things have changed since then.”

“Which is why we should give it another try.” Kylo jolted in slight surprise when he felt Hux's cool hand lay over his own on the arm of the chair. He turned to find Hux looking directly into his eyes. “Stay here for a week after the tourney is over, and I'll have convinced him to come. Kylo.” A tacit command from Hux, as usual, instead of a request.

Kylo nodded.

[break]

So Kylo waited by the city gates, where Hux had sent a messenger bird that he should meet them. He was nervous, when he first spotted the black dot on the distant path that he was sure was them, shuffling from one foot to the other and gripping Silence's reins tight, like that would do anything. He was wondering how he should greet Poe; hello, certainly, and he didn't think he'd be able to stop himself from smiling, but he found that he also wanted to give him a hug, press their lips together, feel that he was really thereagain, after the nearly two years they'd spent apart.

It turned out he needn't have worried, since Poe sprang forward and clasped him into a hug without prompting, talking immediately about where they would be going and how good it would be to be back on the road.

Hux had merely given him a look that said I told you so, and followed after the excitable bard.

That had been nearly two weeks ago.

It turned out that Hux was entirely right; things were different than before, and they were better. The things that had changed were these:

Hux had brought a horse with him, this time, and several other magical items, such as a tent which was far larger inside than it appeared. Poe hadn't bothered with a horse, since he hadn't needed one before, and had thus left the money with which to pay for its upkeep back at home, planning instead to sing for his money like he used to. Kylo rather liked this; it reminded him of old times, when he steadfastly refused to let Poe ride Silence, in case it tired her out too much. The tent, on the other hand, felt annoyingly like Hux was living in style while the two of them were stuck outside, since Hux had never invited them in and Kylo, for one, wasn't about to invite himself.

It seemed Hux and Poe had also developed a much closer friendship, in the time Hux had spent at court. It made Kylo feel a little like he had missed out, like he had time to catch up on, like there was something impenetrable he couldn't access. Kylo supposed it must be similar for Hux, since he and Poe had known each other for so long before he met them, and again for Poe, given that winter when it was only him and Hux, but times like these – Poe and Hux discussing something so academic that Kylo knew so little about – could be daunting as much as interesting.

Mostly, Kylo felt like he still had to make something up to Poe, and he wasn't sure how to do it. He should probably just have a conversation with him about it, but the words never came, and bringing it up when nobody was thinking about it would, he was sure, just sour the mood. And if he just left it, the tension would have to break eventually.

[break]

Ahead of him on the road, Hux and Poe's little argument seemed to have reached a peak point. Kylo had been too lost in his thoughts to pay attention to what they were saying, but now Poe had stopped walking, raising open arms in that way of his that was almost defeated, but actually said he still thought he was right. It was very cute, like he was a turtle with a lute for a shell, and Kylo couldn't help but think his annoyed expression was charming as well.

When Silence reached the spot where Poe was standing, watching Hux ride on with his usual haughty confidence, Kylo hummed. “Did he win?”

Poe huffed, moving again to keep up with Silence's ambling pace. “No, but he's acting like he did. He always thinks he's right.”

Kylo thought about it for a beat; Hux did indeed always think that he was right. It was one of the things that had caused friction in their attempt at a relationship that one winter. It wasn't that all three of them couldn't be stubborn, more that Kylo and Poe had much more ability to hold out against each other's pestering than either of them seemed to have against Hux. One narrowing twitch of those steely-grey eyes, and anyone with even half a sense of self-preservation would surrender. So Kylo could sympathise with Poe's little pout.

They came to the edge of the forest, the village where they planned to stop a short way before them across a few fields. Kylo drew Silence to a halt and put out a hand to Poe, who looked at it first with surprise and then joy. He quickly allowed Kylo to help him up, settling just behind the Witcher, his chest pressed to his back, their thighs brushing against each other with every movement. Kylo could feel it all, and he tried not to let his stomach flip too much when Poe's arms snaked around his sides, hands locking at his front. He cursed inwardly that today he'd chosen to forgo some layers in favour of his cooler shirt.

But then Poe was saying to him over his shoulder – though it felt more like murmuring in his ear - “Come on, I wanna see Hux's face.”

Kylo prodded Silence to walk on, closing the distance on Hux. As they passed, Kylo felt Poe remove one hand to wave at the mage. Looking around, it was in almost slow motion that Hux's expression went from one of mild astonishment to annoyance to jealousy.

“See you there, Hugs!” Poe said, and Kylo smiled to himself.

#darkgingerpilot #armitage hux #poe dameron #kylo ren #kylo/hux/poe #kylux #darkpilot #gingerpilot #my writing #fanfiction #witcher au #fantasy medieval au #even if he doesn't say so

[staliasjeronica]

Riverdale S5 Ep11 Thoughts *Spoilers*

thoughts under cut to keep tag from being cluttered :)

- Oh yeah I forgot that Chad was blackmailing Veronica about the dirty dealings in her company even though it’s not her at all (unless it’s just been so long and I’ve forgotten but she’s my baby and I feel like I would’ve remembered but-

- Hiram and this dumb prison is one of the worst things for this show it’s a constant plot of people escaping and it’s so annoying like sure Hiram owns it and he was in the jail but no one has, like, taken him back to jail…??? Hiram is a fucking disease smh

- “back to remote learning” why didn’t you just stay that way though… like even right now in covid schools are opening back up and kids are complaining because it’s still not safe so like… just… go back to it??? I’m so not built for this world fasdhfkahf

- Veronica and Smithers 🥺🥺💞💞

- the way Veronica hugs Archie is so cute bc she’s so tiny but like she always gives her all and Archie is just 😐 never giving anything ahjfsdfsh it’s quite sad you can tell how done KJ is with Varchie lol

- “I really hate that I’m dragging you through this.” … what about constantly pulling him into your mob boss father mess that the writers refuse to allow you to escape from?

- “until you and Chad are officially done, I think we should keep our distance.” Varchie bones!!! you just KNOW that Archie has been looking forward to this because that man is whole heartedly in love with Betty and has been since forever and that while Chad prolongs the divorce papers, Archie will not be waiting for Veronica considering he doesn’t want her. Varchie = bones we love to see it!

- now who tf would join Penelope Blossom’s ministry… no one, realistically.

- can Cheryl stop being given the craziest and usually most boring plots ever please...

- Not someone holding a gun to Tabitha literally don’t hurt Riverdale’s best girl weirdo

- these bitches really haven’t aged huh…. poor Veronica though being robbed but like they stole some watches or something and the opal like that’s all you take..?? okay-

- Fangs 💞💞💞💞💞 also rip to him having to work with his ex tho

- STOP HAVING ARCHIE GO TO HIRAM WE’RE TIRED

- You know considering the whole reason why Hiram is still here as the villain and ruining Veronica’s life/growth to keep her in his plots al because Mark is a big soap opera celeb and apparently brings in money, you’d assume they would give him GOOD shit instead of everything he’s gotten. If they hadn’t of hired Mark can you imagine how much better off the show would be if they didn’t have to keep him around bc of his status????? God why-

- Reggie’s always there for Veronica muah…. oh fuck me I guess fjasjkdf

- “I work for one Lodge and it’s not you.” lmao okay??? you acting like that’s a flex, and that you’re working for the better Lodge who literally left you to die after the Serpents thought you shot Fangs so-

- MARTY BEING WHY REGGIE IS WORKING FOR HIRAM…….. YOUR DAD IS ABUSIVE LET HIM HANDLE HIS OWN DEBT??? God both Veronica and Reggie are always fucked over when it comes to their parents huh

- don’t you just love when they make characters act ooc for a plot ahhhhhh it’s totally fun to watch and totally not frustratingly annoying

- “FOR OLD TIMES SAKE.” 💞💞💞 we love Veggie even though they made Veronica act ooc and hurt him back then and they weren’t given an actual chance.

- “don’t be such a Betty” now why is Betty so surprised she only ever had fun when she was with Archie, when she’s with Jughead all she did was do what she wanted and order him around so likeefjhakdfh

- “he shouldn’t really be my problem anymore.” BUGHEAD BONES YASSSSS

- I know it was just a sound they used but like that squish sound when Darla kicked Tom’s face… did she like smash his face in damn what is this The Walking Dead?

- see the problem with them randomly bringing characters/parents in when they need them is that they’re never around so like no one really cares… like they could have utilized the parents so much (and Skeet and Marisol never would have left) and it would have been so much better than random appearances that make them look incompetent and awful parents because they’re never there during all the other times their kids need them. but we have to see the two toxic parents that won’t go away constantly??? literally what the fuck

- Betty calling Jughead’s writing cringey wbk she’s never liked his writing she was just stroking his ego bc she was his gf and had to be supportive lmaoo

- why are these 60+ year old men beating up Jughead like for why???

- so they just forgot that Tom was checking in on the convict huh gotta love dumbing down characters for plot!

- Fangs with his switchblade muah

- jealous Tabitha muahhh over a password

- “wait THE BETTY?"

- Cheryl looks so good

- Find meaning in his death… girl didn’t you not care that your husband killed your son over the illegal maple stuff I forgot the plot but it was something illegal and dumb

- “drain the vein” …...

- Reggie helping muah

- Why is Archie acting like an ass? like sure he doesn’t know that Chad is abusive and toxic but c’mon fucker you cheated on her and never apologized and you don’t even wanna be with her in the first place so why are you acting like you’re personally hurt sit down

- God Archie really hates Veronica huh… I don’t even blame him considering the shit she’s brought him into time and time again.

- Jughead was kicked like maybe five times yet he was fine falling out of a two story window and the serpent imitation but now he needs antibiotics..? plot convenience!

- literally don’t remember anything about Doc tbh or him talking to Donna and Bret like—

- ever since Negan people are obsessed with bats with barbed wire.

- also! yes please kill Hiram <3 I know they end up saving him bc of the opal but c'mon

- they searched basically nothing for five seconds wow such great detective work you guys!

- we know you just want his manuscript Jessica

- Cheryl with her rainbow skirt how cute!

- “daddykins” girl you’re like 25

- Veronica acting like she cares about Hiram fjsadhkfhas these guys thinking that they’d kill Hiram even though they need him lol

- bad bitch Ronnie we love her even though she’s gonna have to save her father to save others and get her opal </3

- not Veronica calling Archie first and not Kevin considering Kevin’s dad is there…. this is the pandering va fan service bs we have bc it makes no sense and it’s so forced

- Fangs knowing Archie rides with tools in his truck mmhm that’s a little sus idk how but archiefangs agenda coming through!

- no one would actually believe that Jessica ashkjdfsj and they take this bait…??? you gotta be joking lmao

- Jug got to help doc this time 🥺😭

- …. tell me why when he said boyfriend I immediately thought of Reggie I hate myself for wishing fahsdjkfsafj

- okay as cheesy and corny and awful the fight scene is since they posted a clip of it, them working together is so refreshing and nice we love leader!Veronica bc she’s so good at it. but the show only cares for Betty which is funny since she’s an awful detective fbahsdjfj

- my god enough with Jason’s body!!!!!!!!! you burned his body please let him stay dead let his body rest

- okay but the back and forth from Betty and Jessica is so good like I wish we could get that kind of rivalry drama type stuff all the time. too bad they refuse to let Veronica act like a normal person and get angry at being cheated on and such :/ when will Veronica slap the fuck out of Betty

- he’s not a blameless victim but Betty take responsibility for how awful a person you are PLEASE

- THE VOICEMAILLLLLLL Jughead only speaks the truth! it’s weird that he only realized what we all knew about Betty after but whatever, finally he gets upset like damn. also jeronica crumb he’s the only one to ever include Veronica smh ALSO Cole acted the fuck outta this voice mail muah

- the way Betty just sits there uncaring… she really is a freak huh god when will someone punch her in the face and take her ego down a million notches she’s so annoying

- “that’s darkness.” …?? what?

- the way bh’s relationship parallels jughead’s with Jessica though. the unhealthy habits, the bad energy, etc. except Jessica left it and Betty didn’t and it turned Betty into whatever the fuck this is. I miss s1 Betty :/

- so when will they sue Jessica for drugging them? mmhm probably never

- poor Tabitha being the only one who cares about jughead tho

- oh no I forgot there was a random musical number…

- you’re gonna have Betty and Tabitha act like THAT and not put them together so rude

- when will Cheryl be free from her mom. is was like turned on by abuse or something sigh why do the toxic (and most boring!) parents get plots and screen time and everyone else doesn’t...

- Veronica would be able to do Moree than pepper spray but whatever only Betty is allowed be “badass"

- fangs being fangs ugh so sexy my babyyyyy

- Trevor Stines is so attractive it’s a shame they only bring him back for five seconds to traumatize Cheryl over and over again though </3

- wow varchie in a pop’s booth what season is this again??

- god it’s so upsetting how amazing varchie would have been as just friends…

- the way he smiled at Veronica was so contradicting to the blank, “please don’t” expression when she was telling him she was gonna get divorced as fast as possible. why can’t he just admit he doesn’t want to be with her!!!!!! my god they’ve put off barchie long enough just let them be together so their characters can finally act in character and stop being so awful and annoying

- “this cause” what cause you fucking weirdo

- not Hiram threatening the mayor he could literally be your downfall if we had good writers fjasdkjfasf

- jughead how would you have killed him with a small wooden basket

- I like doc so much but I know we’ll never see him again until we randomly need him seasons from noow

- Betty wasn’t hit by the drugs until after the message though… how would she not remember? it didn’t seem to be doing anything to Betty until the bunker

- hopefully since they’re friends now Tabitha can make Betty act like a decent human being <3

- the way Tabitha looked at Betty please stop doing this to me...

- maybe we can finish that dance!!!!!!!!!!!!!! jabitha rising bughead dying we love to see it!

wow that episode felt like it was two hours long but thankfully I finally finished it… don’t have many actual thoughts but anyways hope you enjoyed my live blog of my thoughts!

#Riverdale #Thoughts #Spoilers

[cranehusbands]

evening glow

Crypto | Park Tae Joon/Pathfinder; unrequited crushes; canon compliant; apex rarepair week; 1791 words

a/n: honestly writing so much makes me feel like i’ve been posessed by the ghost of productivity. and at this point im not even gonna complain. day 4 of rarepair week!

cryptfinder was like... my original crypto ship, all the way back in season 3. idk why it got me so bad.. it just makes me really soft, i love the “someone will die” “of fun!” dynamic they have, and how crypto is like soft for only one (1) person and thats his robot. its cute

day 4 of @apex-rarepairweek, jealousy, is right here! enjoy!

likes < reblogs, any comments in the tags are appreciated

ao3 mirror in the reblogs!

Preview: Elliott was insecure, yes - he was the kind of man to trip over his own tongue and his whole thought would come crashing down with him - but he was intelligent, an efficient engineer and people person, an excellent businessman who knew what made people tick. He wasn’t a bad looking man either. He had a nice smile, the kind that lit up his whole face when it was genuine, the kind that made his eyes smile with him. And when he wasn’t wearing that god awful jumpsuit, he was almost attractive, well built and taken care of, putting a lot of effort into making Mirage as real as possible, though he was about as real as a gaudy, faux gold rip-off. But as Crypto watched the bar, where he was working pouring drinks, frantically guiding the much taller, clumsier robot, his eyes were not on Elliott.

With his coat pulled up to hide his face, and knuckles shaking from the grip on his glass, Crypto couldn’t tear his eyes away from the bar just in eyesight from his little corner seat even if he tried. They were supposed to be out here celebrating at the Paradise Lounge, with somewhat professional businessman Elliott kind enough to offer the champion squad free drinks (begrudgingly, to even him, which Crypto was incredibly smug about at the time, but almost thankful for now) after a great game that day. And sure, it was fantastic; a last-minute scan from Hack let them get the drop on the final squad, an EMP blast slowing them down just enough to catch them in the field of Anita’s Rolling Thunder barrage, while Pathfinder led the final assault and gunned the final guy down in his usual unnervingly cheerful way. He should have been happy about another win under his belt - it was enough to get people to stop asking questions about his skill, and sudden appearance in the games. But he wasn’t. He just kept staring at the bar.

 Elliott wasn’t an idiot. He knew that, despite his own insistence. No, Mirage was an idiot, but Mirage also didn’t have anything to hide. Mirage was a one-note, total bumbling fool, who Crypto was sure would short-circuit if he thought about anyone but himself. But Elliott was not that. Elliott was insecure, yes - he was the kind of man to trip over his own tongue and his whole thought would come crashing down with him - but he was intelligent, an efficient engineer and people person, an excellent businessman who knew what made people tick. He wasn’t a bad looking man either. He had a nice smile, the kind that lit up his whole face when it was genuine, the kind that made his eyes smile with him. And when he wasn’t wearing that god awful jumpsuit, he was almost attractive, well built and taken care of, putting a lot of effort into making Mirage as real as possible, though he was about as real as a gaudy, faux gold rip-off. But as Crypto watched the bar, where he was working pouring drinks, frantically guiding the much taller, clumsier robot, his eyes were not on Elliott.

 Now Pathfinder was an interesting case. A MRVN unit with slightly more awareness than the average one, though that was often misplaced. He was a lost soul, somehow finding his home in murder, where he made fast friends and fans alike, though that was never what he wanted. Still, he didn’t seem to mind, his demeanour never changing - he had that shrill ‘Hi, friends!’ drilled into the back of his head by now… but at least that was a hole to get all the fog out, when his own head was the worst place to be. He was almost thankful for it, in fact. He thought back to the game that day, the way Pathfinder looked over to him, the screen on his chest lit up with a warm, celebratory yellow, as he gave an excited wave, before his attention turned to Anita for a fistbump. He soon turned back, and offered Crypto the same, metallic fist… which he took, and returned the gesture, almost laughing at the way the robot seemed to rock back and forth in excitement. It was… cute, almost warm, not like his cold exterior… not like Crypto. Pathfinder was warm. Pathfinder was cute.

 And Pathfinder was over there, sharing his warmth with everyone else.

 Over the thumping bass of the music too loud to distinguish, he was almost sure he heard a gentle crack of glass, and even though he knew that he would never be strong enough to shatter it with one hand he still flinched with a start, checking his hand for any loose liquor that had spilt, before rubbing it against his coat. So maybe he was just a little jealous. Slightly. But was it because of the attention that the robot was receiving tonight, or was it because he could live so free, not bound by the bars of paranoia? It was absolutely insufferable. The hacker slowly held onto his glass again, taking a final drink and knocking his head back before placing it down quite harshly, enough to get a few heads to turn, before he shuffled out of the booth and stood to his feet, beginning to head towards the door.

“Hey, hey, Crypto, where you goin’?” From the bar, Elliott looked up, taking his eyes off of Pathfinder for the briefest of moments. 

“Home. Thanks for the free drink, Witt.”

“At least stay for another one, c’mon. I’m teaching this bag of bolts how to- wait, Path, no! Ah, dammit- not on my pants, you stupid-”

“Sorry, friend, these glasses are so small in my hands it’s hard to see when it ends.” The robot placed the whiskey glass down on the bar, excess spilling onto the counter as Elliott tried to clean the rest of the alcohol off of his leg with the towel over his shoulder.

“It’s- OK, then don’t hold it, it’s fine.”

“But you-”

“I have tiny human hands! I can do that! You’re… clumsy, and that’s… it's fine.” He gently patted Pathfinder’s small face with a hand, before turning his attention back to Crypto, unable to see the way his fists were clenched in the pocket of his coat. “One more. On me? C’mon, new guy.”

He gritted his teeth. The bar was loud, too many people were here as it was, he had already pushed the limits of what he wanted from tonight. Crypto opened his mouth to say no again, but he caught Pathfinder’s eye, staring at him from just behind Elliott, glowing in his warmth and kindness. The hacker closed his eyes, and sighed, pulling up a stool and sitting down at the counter, ignoring the bartender’s successful fist pump only to himself. This wasn’t for his benefit, anyway.

 After watching the trickster fumble a little more to try and help Pathfinder a little more, only resulting in more drinks spilling on himself and the floor, he was slid a hastily made glass of whiskey, before Elliott excused himself to go clean up in the bathroom - “keep the bar warm but don’t serve anyone, got it, Path?” he’d specifically instructed, to which Pathfinder seemed to ignore as he turned his attention to a couple of patrons trying to haggle drinks for free through flattery. It worked, bless his heart, as he managed to keep the pint glass steady under the nozzle, handing it to the woman who shot a flirty remark that flew right over his head.

He laughed from over his glass, taking a small drink, gagging at the aftertaste but doing his best to cover it by coughing and covering his hand with the side of a clenched fist, just as Pathfinder returned.

“Elliott knows so many great friends, I really like working here!”

“Ya, you… seem to fit right in.”

“Do you really think so?” He seemed to genuinely appreciate the comment, perking up a little bit. “Do you think I’d look nice in a bow tie and suit? Elliott has an image to maintain, after all - I wouldn’t want to ruin it for my very best friend.”

An image of tackiness and gaud, Crypto wanted to say, but he bit his tongue. “Do you even know how to tie one?”

“No!” The confirmation was said with such cheer that it almost made him smile a little. “Why, do you?”

He blinked. “...Ya.”

“Can you show me?” If the robot was anymore animated, he would have twinkles in his optic from his excitement. 

Crypto looked away, practically burying his face into his coat. “I… maybe.”

“Promise?”

“...Mhm.”

Pathfinder was practically glowing again with excitement, clapping his hands together, enough for Crypto to glance back over and bask in the warmth for a moment.

His shoulders lost their tension, he physically relaxed, and as the robot rambled on, divulging way too much about himself and his goals, he found himself… interested, and intrigued, offering insight as a man who was looking for someone just as hard, hardly noticing as one by one people filtered out, the other Legends heading home until it was just the two of them, and Elliott, closing up the bar.

 “You two good to get home?” He asked, twirling the keys to the Paradise lounge around his finger.

Crypto nodded, flinching a little as Pathfinder slapped a hand down on his shoulder.

“Crypto promised to share a taxi with me! I’m so excited!”

The trickster raised an eyebrow, a small smirk forming on his lips. “Oh yeah? Check you out, kid. Making friends. Wasn’t so hard to get that stick out of your ass, huh?”

“Ip dakchyeo.”

“Yeah, you too, buddy.”

The hacker zipped up his coat again and looked away, shoving his hands in his pockets and continued to wait at the door, for Elliott to usher the two of them out, and lock up, heading to his car and leaving the two of them, alone, in the glow of the streetlight and Pathfinder’s presence, as he quietly bounced in place.

“Are you not cold?” The robot asked, looking down.”

“Ah, I’m fine.”

“Are you sure?”

“Mhm.”

Pathfinder blinked, before nodding to himself, taking off the warm scarf around his neck and tying it around Crypto’s, making the hacker flinch again.

“Wait, I said-”

“It’s OK, I don’t really need it.” He gently tied it, expertly creating a small bow from the side, where it practically drowned Crypto’s face. “It looks nice on you, friend!”

He swallowed, looking down at his feet, and mumbling a thank you, enough to satisfy the other legend to take his attention away. Once he did that, Crypto dared to bring up his hand, running his fingertips across the softest tartan he had felt in a long time, and the light smell of motor oil that lingered to the fabric.

 The taxi soon arrived, and the two of them got in, Crypto silently cursing Elliott to himself for not offering them a ride. It certainly would have made things a little less awkward. Did he know too much? The look he gave him certainly seemed like a catch on. He wasn’t here to make friends. He knew he wasn’t. But the draw of some people, or robots, was almost too much for him to bear, it seemed, as Pathfinder talked his ear off for the entire journey, voice more like music than white noise as Crypto stared out of the window, assessing his thoughts in the night, the evening he realised that maybe, just maybe, he liked Pathfinder.

#apex legends #apex rarepair week #cryptfinder #crypto #pathfinder (apex legends)

[moonlightdn]

about me tag;

tagged by: @minfuwa (thank you for tagging me :’) i love doing these kinds of things!)

1. it’s your birthday! what did you ask for and did you receive it?

albums!! or honestly a binder since i’ve been wanting it for so long, but they’re kind of expensive :( + i haven’t come out to my mom as trans yet. yes, since my mom always agrees to something i want for my birthday :’)

2. what was the last song or album you listened to?

red moon - wooseok skdjdj never a skip for me, it slaps toooooo hard

3. what is your go to snack when you’re hungry or bored?

chips honestly or just sometimes something sweet, but rarely chocolate

4. what is your morning routine?

well now i’m quarantine, i wake up at 3-4pm and go to sleep at around 4-8am, but when i wake up i just lay in bed and go on my phone. i’m really lazy to go downstairs, but at the same time my mom always gets so mad when she sees me at past 4pm

5. what mythical/cryptid creature would you be?

i’m gonna to a quiz about this and my result was banshee, okay djjdjd

6. how do you interact with someone that you don’t like?

well :/ it depends on the person, but sometimes i just make small talk and try to get out of there as soon as possible

7. how do you define a toxic person?

i was forced to be ‘best friends’ with this one girl for three years, but thankfully she finally left my life.

anyways, anyone who is manipulative (example: says she’ll do something to herself if i ever leave) and just puts everything on you to solve + never gives you a break and well you can see is lying. asks about you for a split second and talks about themselves or just never lets you talk about the stuff you like. i can go on :(

8. have you ever been to a concert or fanmeet type of event? If not, would you want to?

yes! i saw twenty one pilots 2-3(?) years ago, but i saw ateez last year and i got to see them up close and hold their hands which— was literally the best thing ever!!!

9. do you believe in astrology? Why or why not?

i kind of do? like idk how to explain it, but there are certain things i don’t believe in it that i sometimes see on my tl

10. if you had only one sense (hearing, touch, sight, etc.), which would you want?

oh god this one’s really really hard. since i would hate to not have sight, because i’m scared of the dark and well not being able to see, but also not being able to hear is :((( i love listening to music so much since it not only makes me calm and motivated, but also confident. i’m sorry jsjdjdj i just cannot answer this 😔

11. who is your favourite celebrity or idol?

lee jaehyun 🥺 but also han jisung and recently cho seungyoun. i’ve always went and watched things with them and it always makes me feel better, no matter what mood i’m in. but also i just love their vocals :( they’re so talented skjdj

12. if you could talk to your favourite celebrity(s) for a limited time, what would you tell them?

i’ve thought about this many times, so probably just like: thank you for always making me feel better when i’ve been in bad places. you’re an amazing artist and to never change anything about themselves, because they’re just very wonderful 🥺

13. i’m taking you out on a date and it’s your choice. where are we going and what are we going to do?

recently i’ve been wanting to go star gazing, because wow it’s just so peaceful. but also going for a walk around some places at night and just talking about random stuff or going into some cafe 🥺

14. do you like sweet or savory foods?

savoury. i don’t like a lot of sweet foods (also me having only sweet things without anything savoury today...) i have my limits to them.

15. do you have any band merchandise or merchandise from any of your favorite artists? If so, what?

only albums. i have one version for every stray kids album mixtape-yellow wood, i have three ateez (say my name, wave, blue ver. of answer skdjjd), ddd the boyz, cix their first album, sf9 rpm, dreamies we go up and i think that’s it!

i really wanted to buy ateez’s tour hoodie last year, but ://

tagging: @luvsminho @woncherie @hyunjaeluvr (you don’t have to do them, if you don’t want to ^^)

[justmewoo]

Legacy [ Avengers x Male Reader]

Male Son Reader x Steve x Wanda x Tony

A/N: So this is about steve having a son with peggy lets just pretend they did it before steve got frozen and not knowing about it until decades later. I just came up with it today so idk if I should make a second part or continue it. So please comment or message me and let me know if I should continue it or not. Enjoy!

Unedited because dont know if people will like it.

____________________________________

I never expected in meeting my father ever. After all I was produce from a wonderful love that both had for each other. At least that's what my mother used to tell me. That I wasn't a mistake but a blessing because she now had a little piece of HIM. 

 Not to mention how much I look like my father. She told me about having similar interest as him. But when I uses to ask her about him she said he had disappear before she ever got the chance to tell him about me in 1945. I wasn't born till XX XX 1946.

She had given birth to a little blond baby boy. My grandparents had helped her raised me. Due to her job in S.H.I.E.L.D it was a bit difficult because she was always busy attending work and traveling.

Sometimes she would take me with her to work and meet the people who worked there. I became close with Howard Stark the founder of S.H.I.E.L.D. He was like a father to me. 

"[Male Reader] can you please stay still like a good little boy while mommy  goes to a meeting with Howard?" I was only about five years old when I got a chance to go with her that day. 

I nodded. "I promise i'll be a good boy mama." I said giggling as she gave me a kiss on the cheek. 

"I won't take long so please finish doing your homework so we can go back to your grandparents house." She opened the door of her office and left me sitting alone. I grabbed my school bag from the floor then went to take a seat in her chair. 

I opened my bag to take out my school supplies and homework. I read through the paper to realize it was math and history homework with some coloring drawings of Captain America. I clapped my hands in happiness as I decided to work on my dad's homework first. "I'm going to color you Papa." I said outloud smiling. I suddenly got up and walked over to the corner where she had a small radio and turned it on to hear music. Then returned back to continue working on my homework and trying to whistle on my own. 

Once I finished doing my homework I had an idea of going to look for mom and show her my drawing of dad. I quickly got up from my chair with paper in hand and opened the door. 

I left the door half opened and ran down the hallways looking for her. In one hand I had the drawing while the other one I carried a picture of dad that my mother gave me. I turned a few left and right before finding the room where they have their meetings. I opened the door to find it empty. "Where's mama." I asked to myself before shutting the door and continue to run looking everywhere for her. 

It wasn't till I accidently bumped into something hard. It caused me to drop the picture and homework on the ground. I had landed on the floor with my knees injuring them. "Ouchie that hurts." I murmure to myself. I looked up and saw a figure standing in front of me. 

He was wearing a black jacket with black pants. He's left arm was made out of metal. He had a red star on the same metal arm. He bent down to my height and extended his hand out to me. I took his hand in mind and stood up. I stared at him for a few minutes feeling a bit uneasy and confused because I have never seen him before.  

"I'm sorry I didn't see you there you alright bud?" The stranger said. I nodded my head before turning around looking for the pieces of papers but, I could only see the drawing and not my dad's picture. "Looking for this." I turn around to face the man again to see the picture of my dad in his hand. 

I tried jumping to grab it from him. "That's mine give it my papa." I said as tears where on the verge of falling. I retreated the picture from his hand and protected it on my chest hiding it from him. He smirked before retreating and walking away leaving me alone I could only watch as he disappeared that day. 

I never told my mother about that day. It's not that I didn't want to tell her it's just something about him made the guy look dangerous. Growing up I tried my best to distract myself and forget about that memory. So as I continued to grow up. I got more and more involved with S.H.I.E.L.D at age twenty four in the year 1970 I was able to sign up for the military. But my mother wasn't very found of the idea that her only son would join the war. She simply didn't want me to disappear in the middle of a battle like my father.

"Come on Ma, nothing bad will happen to me." I said talking to my mother inside her office. 

"I don't want you to put your life in danger [Male Reader] why did you go behind my back and join the military." She yelled back. 

"THIS. This is the reason why I went behind your back because I knew you would react this way. Nothing bad will happen to me you i'm twenty four years old for crying out loud." I turned around walking towards the door turning my back to her waiting for her to say something. 

"If you walk out of this office in this very instant you can't forget about having a mother young man." She yelled once again. 

I glanced behind my shoulder before opening the door taking a step forward. "Then I guess you just lost a son... I apologize for following my father's steps, have a good day agent Carter." I said closing the door after me.

I'm furious that she doesn't support my idea of wanting to follow my father's steps. I'm a Rogers it runs through my blood. I walked in silence passing by people with my hands inside my pockets. I ignored people's stares and walked out to find Howard Stark holding flowers and a can of something with Jarvis getting inside the car.

"What's the matter [Male Reader] did your mother find out?" I walked feeling annoyed not making eye contact with him. 

I made my way over to them nodding my head. "Yes Sir my Ma, found out about it I mean Agent Carter because she no longer has a son at least according to her. You think I can be adopted by you and your wife. I promise to be a big brother to your baby." I said joking around. 

"Real funny [Male Reader] but you know she doesn't think that. She just doesn't want her only son to leave and have something bad happen to you. You will understand what a parent has to deal with when you have your own kids some day. But you're welcome to come visit and meet the baby when my wife gives birth." He patted my shoulder and got inside the car. I closed the door after him. 

"Hey Jarvis, take good care of Mr. Howard and his family. And take care of that baby too who knows maybe if it's a girl i'll date her in the future." I laughed earning a slap from Jarvis. "Woah, I was just kidding." 

"I heard that [Male Reader]" spoke Howard. "Win that war against the Vietnamese." I nodded. 

I watched as the car drove away.

___________________________

Dear Mom, 

I know the last time I saw you was over a week ago. But I just had to come and fight in the war. Maybe I shouldn't had been harsh on you. So I apologize I didn't mean to hurt your feelings mom. The situation here has become difficult with the new orders from Nixon its going to take a while to get home. There's a pair of dog tags I recieved please give them to Howard's kid I want them to have it. But I promise to get home save I love you Ma.

"Rogers! Hurry up we need you in the front lines. Finish writing that letter later come on son!" The sargeant yelled. 

I quickly put the letter away and placed it inside the envelope. "Yes sir!" 

The war against Vietnam lasted for the whole month of July. At least that's what we where told but in reality it lasted for five years. It was complicated in the beginning because it took a lot of time to get used to been out in the woods. It was hard seeing innocent people killed when we passed through the villages. The first time I had to shoot someone took a lot of me to be able to pull the trigger. Not having anything warm to drink or eat during the winter was something I had to get used to. Not being able to sleep was the one thing that I wish I wouldn't have to adjust too but it was a must. Slowly though I was able to get used to it. 

As each year passed I continued to write letters to my mother. Each month I would also recieve her response with a care package. I left for the war at twenty four now after five years i'm now twenty nine. But the conditions in the jungle made situations worse. Sometimes it would rain or the conditions in the jungle where to much to bare. Seeing many soldiers die has opened my eyes and made me realize how precious life can be. And also left me thinking about the things my dad had went through.

The second year my mother continued to sent me letters and care packages. From cookies to a small piece of my favorite cake. She even sent it me my favorite snacks as a kid. What suprised me was when Howard had sent it a big care package with a letter to me. 

"Woah, look at that fellas Rogers ove here got a package from Mr. Stark himself." Evan a soldier who became a good friend of mine over the past two years shouted grabbing the attention from the rest of the group. Everyone gathered around me looking at what I had recieved.

I had to use all my force of in order to open the big box. Once I opened it tons of good food was placed in clean silver plates. Some contain good amounts of fancy food. Some that I haven't seen in my life. Underneath where pairs of socks and combat boots. 

I grinned. "Looks like there's good amounts of food for everyone come dig in." I shouted. Everyone gathered each grabbing their own food. While everyone ate including the sageants I looked inside the envelope to find a letter from him. 

Dear [Male Reader] Rogers. 

I haven't heard from you for quite a while now. Your mother has told me about the situation of the war so I decided to sent you some supplies along with food you can use and eat. I have also recieved your military dog tags but I can imagine you getting in trouble for losing them. Not sure if your mother has inform you but your a big brother to my son Anthony Edward Stark. So make sure to get back safe here's a picture of him. 

See you soon Rogers. 

I looked inside the envelope to find a picture of a little boy who looked like Howard and Maria. "This must be him Anthony." I smiled to myself. I folded the picture and put it inside my pocket. I digged in to the delicious food and ate with the group. 

________________________

As the years continued to pass by we where slowly winning the war. But unfortuately many soldiers where taken hostage by the Vietnamese or dead. During an operation to rescue them a lot of them got wounded or killed. I was fortuante to be alive and carried out the plan But thankfully when we where able to get them out we had already won. 

It was the longest five years of my life. We where on our way home on April 30, 1975. Five years of my life was spent out in the battlefield. What finally felt like ages we where back in New York. Our air plane had finalled landed. Evan and I where some of the few who made it out alive. We took our bags and exited the plane along with the rest of the troops.

As I walked the small stairs from the plane I could see my mother along with Howard and his wife standing with her. And a little boy being carried by Jarvis. They slowly began to speed walk towards me. I ran until I had finally reach my mother and hugged her. Tears of joy where spilling from my eyes. Feeling the warmth of my mother gave me the feeling of secure and safety. I kissed her on the cheek. "Welcome back son I've missed you so much." She said in between sobs. 

"You're a giant [Male Reader]." Mrs Stark said from behind us. My mother and I pull away from the hug. I looked at Maria and Howard and hugged them. Maria gave me a kiss in the cheek while Howard gave me a hug. 

"It's good to have you back son. You've gotten taller and stronger look at all those muscles." Howard joked around. 

"Thanks. But both of you look great as well everyone does. Even you Jarvis come here and give me a hug." I yanked him and gave him a huge hug. He was carrying a little boy in his arms. 

"Big brother [Male Name]." The little boy clunged to my neck. I carried him into my arms and ruffle his hair with my hand. "We finally get to meet Anthony. I'm guessing you told him about me after all." I said turning to them. 

"Of course. You made a promise don't you remember. Plus Tony show him what your wearing under your shirt." Howard said. Anthony took something out from his shirt. It was the dog tags I had sent the first year I was away. 

"It looks like we are brothers little Tony. Big brother [Male Name] is going to always keep you safe I promised. Now let's go home i'm starving I can really go for some cheese burgers." Everyone laughed and made our way to the car. 

"It's good to be back."

______________________________

Should I continue it and do part 2?

#avengers #male reader #x male reader #tony stark #steve rogers #steve rogers x reader #tony stark x reader #thor #bucky #bucky x reader #clint barton x reader #clint barton #thor x reader #peter x reader #reader #wanda x reader #wanda x you #one shots #tumblr #loki x reader #loki #loki laufeyson #chris evans x reader

[phonaesthemes]

a list of asks

@padawanyugi tagged me in this, but Tumblr decided to eat any notification that I got tagged, so I’m glad I saw it on my dash because I like filling these things out. Thanks for tagging me! I may have typed A Lot.

Favorites: What types of books do you enjoy? Tell about what you’ve read recently (Or maybe about a book you hated recently!)I like spec-fic and sci-fi, although less “hard” science fiction, and I also enjoy fantasy. I read a lot of YA even though I’m in my 30s just because it seems easy to find a story I want to read and I’m not usually in the mood for dense prose.

I’ve been rereading the Wheel of Time series since it’s getting an Amazon TV show; it was my first non-LOTR fantasy series and I love it to death, warts and all, although I love joking about the weak points with other people who’ve read it. I think the last other thing I read was A Gentleman’s Guide to Vice and Virtue, which was a queer YA historical fiction, and it was a lot of fun. I wish I’d had access to all these queer stories when I was an actual teenager, but better late than never.

What types of music do you like to listen to? Share five songs from your music library. I really do like a bit of everything, although I gravitate towards certain genres more often depending on the season or time of day, so I’m going to cheat and pick 5 per season. Summer for me is lots of peppy pop (pride playlists!), punk and rock and punk-adjacent stuff, just upbeat stuff in general. -Weekender, by The Royal They -Break My Heart, by Dua Lipa -Toutes les femmes savent danser, by Loud -Ruby Soho, by Rancid -Womanarchist, by Bad Cop, Bad Cop

In the fall, my inner goth kid craves darkwave, goth rock, dramatic folk, roots rock, and also anything that reminds me of Halloween. -Iuka, by the Secret Sisters -Bela Lugosi’s Dead, by Bauhaus -How’s It Gonna End, by Tom Waits -Under the Milky Way, by The Church -I Put a Spell on You, by Screamin’ Jay Hawkins I could go on about the Christmas music I like at length (Boney M’s Christmas album slaps, ngl) but I’ll just skip that and say that I listen to more classical and piano pieces in the winter. I’m terrible at remembering names, so artists only: -Ludovico Einaudi -Chopin -Debussy -Saint-Saëns -Dvořák And in spring I’m usually just depressed af and listen to whatever. -FML, by K.Flay -Weird Part of the Night, by Louis Cole -Juodaan Viinaa, by Korpiklaani -P.O.H.U.I., by Carla’s Dreams -Marryuna, by Baker Boy

Do you have a show or movie that you can just put on anytime and it’s your comfort? Definitely Star Trek. I’ve rewatched the various iterations (except TOS) so many times. Also Mean Girls and Bring It On, idk why.

Do you have a favorite dessert? Tiramisu or creme brulée! Or macarons. I don’t eat dessert really unless I’m at a restaurant.

Do you have a favorite cold drink? Sparkling water, hands down.

Do you have a favorite game? The hours I have put into the SIms in my lifetime is probably shameful, although I haven’t played in a while. Don’t Starve is another contender for hours played, but I am also really fond everything by Amanita Design

Do you have a favorite part of your self care/beauty/health routine? I haven’t been doing it much lately since I’ve been dealing with some uncertain health issues with my joints (actually have a rheumatologist appointment later today), but savasana after a long yoga workout is borderline ecstasy.

Do you have a favorite type of take-out food? Indian for sure.

What’s your favorite type of exercise/physical activity? I have a love-hate relationship with running. I don’t actually love it but I love how I feel after. I really enjoy yoga. I love playing in the water at the beach, bodyboarding and swimming.

Pick between: (you choose the context)

Cook or bake? (I love cooking A Lot)

Space or ocean? (Hard to pick, but I grew up by the ocean and it’s 100% my happy place)

Chocolate or vanilla?

City or suburb or rural? (I grew up in an isolated rural village and I miss the quiet and the slower pace of life, but I do not miss the lack of amenities and opportunities, or the smalltown gossip. I also don’t drive bc of epilepsy, so I’m fucked as far as transport in rural settings.)

Past or future?

Shower in the morning or evening?

Mac/Apple or PC/Android? (Linux in general!)

Sing or dance?  (I don’t have an amazing voice but I can carry a tune without it being painful, and I love singing along with songs.)

Get up early or sleep in? (I actually love sleeping in but with two kids, early morning is my only time to myself, so I wake up before 6 most days AGGH.)

Shoes, socks, or bare feet? (Hate socks. I’m barefoot at home all year round.)

Marker, crayon, or pencil? Pen!

Tea, coffee, or hot chocolate? (Coffee in the morning, tea later on.)

Random questions:

Have you ever had any pets? (Had dogs and a cat as a kid, and as an adult I’ve had betta fish and cats, and I have a cat currently.)

What is your academic background/job field? I did my undergrad in linguistics, and I am currently a stay-at-home dad lol. I do freelance editing and transcription on the side. I don’t think I’ll ever work in my field bc I really don’t have the energy to go to grad school.

What’s something random that you’re into (even if you aren’t good at it)? I signed up for a Cape Breton step dancing class in university and I loved it.

Are you good at putting away your clean laundry right away? It depends on the day, but generally yes. Mine and everyone else’s. When I lived alone? Absolutely not.

What’s one of your pet peeves? Someone trying to have a conversation with me when they have the radio or TV on. I can’t follow what you’re saying if someone else is speaking! I hate having that stuff on as background noise in general.

What’s something you’re pretty good at? I’m a great cook.

What’s the most recent nice thing you bought for yourself? A new conditioner ig? lol

Can you sew? I can mend a small tear or sew on a button, but it’s been years since I did more than that.

What’s a chore you hate (or a chore you enjoy)? I hate vacuuming so much. So much. Maybe if I had a better vaccuum cleaner I wouldn’t mind it, but I just feel like I’m fighting with the stupid thing, getting caught up on its own cords, caught on furniture, can’t quiiiite reach a spot... HATE IT. I like shoveling snow sometimes, though.

Tell us a fun fact about yourself. I am 20 years older than my youngest sibling, and five minutes younger than my “oldest” sibling.

Never have I ever... Gone fishing, even though I’m from a fishing community.

What extracurriculars did/do you do in school? In high school, I played trumpet in band until the band got dissolved from lack of funding. I played soccer one year, was in a play another year. We had an art club for like a semester that I was in. In university the first time round, I did step dancing and intramural hide and seek  Second time around, I was in the linguistics club to help with assignments. (We were very much encouraged to work in pairs or groups for a lot of different classes. The only thing was that you did need to list your group members on the assignment so the prof knew who you worked with. My first morphology class in particular, we had a whole homework club where a huge portion of the class got together to work through assignments and help each other understand, and the prof would quite often show up. </tangent>

Deeper questions:

How’s your quarantine/last few months been? The cabin fever was really bad before the weather warmed up. I struggle with seasonal depression every spring, and it’s gotten much worse since we moved to Edmonton because of how long the winters are. (Snow from September to May/June? Fucccck.) It’s frankly horrifying to look at what’s going on in the US, but even though we have far fewer cases here, I’m really anxious that we’ll see another wave soon. Otherwise, I think I’ve adjusted. Home-schooling, hand-sanitizing, social distancing, masks...All feels kind of normal now, which should maybe concern me.

What do you think of human nature/society/etc.? I am like the least philosophical person you will meet so I don’t think I really have many thoughts.

What’s something you are insecure about? Writing my L2 if a native speaker is gonna read it.

What do you think is the meaning of life/reason that humans exist in the universe? I don’t think there is one, and that doesn’t bother me.

Do you think you’re better (whatever that means to you) than you used to be? Definitely. My adolescence and early adulthood was rough. I was dealing with a lot of trauma, untreated bipolar disorder, and I self-harmed for a very long time. I could not imagine making it to 30, let alone being stable and happy. I actively avoided thinking about the future because it made me spiral. But I was lucky enough to get help, consistent help from a doctor I clicked with, and it made a world of difference. I think younger me would be disappointed at how mundane my life is, but I’m thrilled to be boring because boring means no life-upending mood episodes. I have a happy partnership and two delightful kids and I couldn’t ask for more.

What are your thoughts on religion? I’m not religious and my own experience being raised in the Catholic church was frankly traumatic, but I know that it’s a source of comfort and community for many others and I think that’s awesome for them.

Do you think that there are aliens out there? I think so, although I think that we may not even know what other kinds of life to look for and may not recognize it even if we find it.

What’s something that’s been on your mind recently? We’re moving cross-country in less than a month (driving, no less, nearly 5000 km) and I still have so much to do to get ready aosjdoajdoasijdoaijsd

#personal #long post #in which i ramble about myself a great deal #@padawanyugi

[unulales]

permanent plotter call!!

its been a little while since i’ve rped on tumblr so i’m not sure what the rules are for them nowadays or if they’ve changed? i’m just gonna go ahead and lay down what it means for me

like this post if you...

want me to tag you in starters out of nowhere

are okay with me slipping in your inbox (outside of memes)/dming you in or out of character for whatever reason

are interested in consistent interactions with cat for any reason

have any interest in having any sort of plot or development with ecaterina (can be as fluffy as her being your muse’s piano teacher or as deep as exploring her issues with being a “chosen one”)

have all of the above applied to you, and you’re okay with horror

if you don’t really know for sure if this is the kind of stuff you want to do, that’s totally fine! i’ll still post opens and starter calls all the time if you wanna go ahead and test the waters!

if you like this and we’re mutuals, you can also go ahead and im me if you have any ideas! i might be slow, so sorry in advance;; talking to no one in particular is a lot easier than talking to someone directly hogh also, most importantly, please im me any triggers you have so i can be as careful as i need to be.

heyyo! thanks for checking out my peebrain ideas! just so you know, this list is gonna be dynamic and i’ll be updating it as time goes on. ideas seriously slap me at 4am like a prophet receiving messages from an angry god

i’ll put the date when it was most recently updated at the top, some ideas might be deleted if i think they’re too boring or someone’s bit one of them. but... some of these ideas can definitely have multiple muses tied to it so don’t feel rushed to take one.

also, keep in mind these are just some ideas i have. if you have any ideas, or if there’s any specific development you want to explore with your muse don’t be afraid to say so. it takes two to tango or something like that 

music instruction!

yes, ecaterina is... not a good person. she’s extremely closed off generally speaking and doesn’t have an interest in people as a whole. if there’s anything that she’s competent in and she loves to do it’s play music. name an instrument, any instrument. cat at least knows the basics and her rates are fairly cheap. (she’s best with string instruments, but piano is a close second.)

she’s a strict instructor, but she doesn’t want to throw anyone into such a hobby half-assed. you are getting your money’s worth and then some.

i see this as being a slow burn where cat tries to share with the student in question her joy in music, and maybe at some point exploring why she doesn’t just... keep doing it all the time? of course, there’s also a chance the student in question would be unnerved because she already doesn’t make sounds when she walks. whenever she’s focused on something, she doesn’t blink. 

( this one’s really vague, y’all... )

ghost hunting!

while it was never a major interest of her’s, it’s something she unfortunately knows way too much about by association. since she worked on a ghost hunting show, to say she knows a thing or two would be putting it lightly. ecaterina would work as a good assistant if they wanted someone that knew what they were doing, but she’s also a huge pain in the ass because haunted areas are her element. she will try her hardest to scare you if you’re interested in going this route.

cat probably won’t have interest in going with someone unless they’re genuinely curious and proves themselves to be educated in the paranormal. she is absolutely going to treat the person in question like her brother, ( with action-based kindness and a lot of making fun of you ) and the progression would probably be much quicker as a result.

owing a debt!

yes, cat is a shitty person. no, i will not stop reminding you. but there are a handful of things she can be pretty good about, and repaying her debts is pretty high up there.

your muse could potentially:

prevent her from getting into an accident

rescue her from a place she trapped herself in when trying to scare someone

buy her a new instrument/repair an old one

something... else if you have any ideas that would be more in character for you, do not be afraid to discuss them these are just some examples

and she will stick to your muse like fuckin e6000 until she feels like her debt has been appropriately paid. depending on the gravity of the favor, this can go anywhere between paying for your lunch or basically being your indentured servant / bodyguard for the rest of her life.

feel free to blow up in her face if you’re fed up with her following you around so much! take advantage of her servitude by making her do stupid things! treat her kindly! ( why would you want to do that, but it’s... an option i guess ) get confused, because she’s suddenly being much kinder to your muse! anything goes! but cat will never directly mention that she feels like she owes your muse unless asked.

spook friends!

cat will have a very hard time coping with the fact that someone else genuinely likes to scare someone just as much, if not more than she does. she’ll feel... inferior, and have a bit of a complex about it but after some warming up she’ll be happy to work with them!

she actually doesn’t really like being in the spotlight that much, so she’d definitely value someone to sort of test things out for her? critique the plans that she has? ecaterina won’t admit it, but she does miss the stability of her job with phantasmagorica. making props and helping someone with make up to scare the shit out of people would fill that hole.

not to mention, two friends owning a year-round haunted house (that is occasionally also an escape room?) just sounds like a really cute idea to me.

chosen one stuff!

ecaterina ciobanu is a chosen champion by the sect of gaia to accomplish... well, she’s never really been sure. but she’s also never been interested. at least that’s what she likes to think. she says that she doesn’t like her axe, but she really misses it! demons are... fucking cool, but cat honestly hates how interested she is in them?

there’s... a lot more to this, but i kind of want it to come up organically? i’d imagine it would take us a minute to get to this point, but... you know. i admittedly don’t get to play my campaign with her very often, but it’s a really important part of her character i’d like to explore. 

maybe she could have someone pushing her towards her violent thoughts? or someone else that has experience being a destined hero training her? idk, i just know either way it’s not gonna end very well...

#beyond our understanding ( ooc ) ;; #for posterity ;; whatever that even means ( saves ) ;; #i have a feeling i'm gonna end up deleting this because too much pre-planning honestly makes me kind of nervous? #i'm very Bad at discussing things when it comes to writing with people idk why #let's see if i regret this there's only one way to find out!

[jinniesmeow]

good evening. this is a very long rant. if you’ve been tagged in this, it means I have a message for you :’) it’s at the bottom of the post, and that’s the most important part, so dear mutuals, feel free to just go read that part and don’t feel forced to read all that bullcrap I've written. thank you if you do, thank you if you don’t. 

if we’re not mutuals and you’re reading this, well I guess thank you because this is hella long and cliché af. I'm sorry to everyone for this. though it kinda has nothing to do with what I'm saying, I was feeling particularly gay tonight and I'm in my feelings right now so yeah. if you’re willing to read, just click, you know how that works. 

first of all, hello. thank you if you’re reading this, whether we’re mutuals or not, this isn’t a private post so if you’re reading this, hello to you, I hope you’re having a wonderful night or day and I guess sorry for what you’re about to read if it’s considered TMI. I don’t know everyone on here so I'll start with the basics. I’m zia, aka users jinniesmeow, yunholy, hwangitzy and very recently yuzukhei. I'm (almost) 19, and in case you didn’t know, I'm French. and Italian, fortunately or not, idk. 100% European and white anyway, and my ancestors were all 100% racist and homophobic (I mean Poland and Italy? come on.). My sister, who’s turning 23 this year (she’s not on Tumblr), and myself are the first generation in my family to be queer on whichever side of it it is you’re looking at. 

Indeed, (if you didn’t know somehow, now you do) both her and I are pansexual. thankfully, our mom is far from being homophobic and racist and she’s a very open minded person, like really. neither of us have ever had a coming out, and none of us plan on doing it. I totally understand the necessity for some people to come out to their relatives and all that, but here’s why I personally refuse to do it: I don’t get why I have to tell people I'm not straight. I think it only fuels the fact that being straight is seen as the norm, because do straight people ever announce they are straight? exactly. being queer (gay, lesbian, pan, ace, whatever) is not abnormal, it’s not unnatural, so I refuse to have to scream it to everyone, and I don’t mean by that that I'm trying to hide my queerness, because I'm very open and honest about it, and I always have been. I hope one day, we won’t need to come out anymore and that people will stop assuming our sexuality. until then, I'll let people get flustered whenever I imply that I'm not straight without having ever stated it clearly before because fuck that shit. 

anygays. so, like I said, I've always been very open and honest about my romantic and sexual orientation. I know lots of bi/pan people “realise” they are queer when they’re a bit older, during their teenage years or early adulthood, but (un)fortunately I am not one of those. I have literally always known I liked girls too (in the first place, I mean). actually, I’ve always thought attraction and romance were about the person, like, I mean it was an evidence to me ever since I was a child, and how can I explain that I got slapped in the face when I discovered that it was not a universal thing, that it was not “the truth”. so there I was, in the middle of elementary school, openly saying I liked girls in front of everyone because I thought it was normal. I mean, it is, but you get what I mean. 

on top of that, the term “pansexual” has been occulted and invalidated for years, and most people didn’t even know of it until like maybe 3 years ago. remember, I'm 19, and there I was in middle school at 13 years old telling people I was pansexual when they’d barely even heard of bisexuality (while everyone else was like ‘I'm straight!! ew the gays’ btw). honestly, I cannot count how many times I've been called a pedophile, a necrophile and zoophile. by my very own friends, yes. 

same with high school, but I'm not going to repeat myself. just for the precision: no, I have never been physically or mentally bullied for that, however, I was mocked a lot because of how tall I am (I was 1m73/5′7 at 14) and because I can be quite androgynous since I don’t have big boobs. I have large hips though, so those fucking males didn’t miss the chance to pick on me for that too. obviously though if I've never been full on bullied it’s because: 1. I've always had friends and I've never been a ‘loner nerd’, 2. I was tall and intimidating, 3. I was respected for my intelligence and grades and wasn’t being full of myself about being a top student, and 4. because I was neither fat nor a person of colour, obviously, and those are privileges I'm very aware of. I have still been called a ‘woman with a dick’ and other transphobic shit and was often treated as if I were a boy, though. 

I still identify as a girl. I have been so, so complexed about so many things about my physical appearance for so long, I can’t count how many hours I have spent looking at my naked reflection in the mirror, feeling disgusted, wishing I had bigger boobs and that I would “look more like a girl” and so on. how much I have hated my body is something I can’t even measure. as of today, I've realised there is no such thing as “looking like a girl” and I've made a lot of progress on liking my overall appearance and accepting my body, sometimes I even think I'm hot™ and definitely think men don’t deserve me but for some fucking reason I can’t choose my sexuality (crazy right) and I still am attracted both romantically and sexually to them :/ 

anyways. now you know how long I've known that I'm a pansexual and throughout all these years, every time someone talked about the community or when pride came, no one mentioned us pansexuals, and I've seen us being invalidated so many times I really started doubting myself. I was like, “it’s like being bisexual, I'm just being butthurt and pushing it too far” but at the same time I never stopped calling myself pansexual. to some people, it’s just a preference in the choice of words to say you’re bi or pan, but to me there is a difference, even if it’s the smallest ever, and yes. being bi and being pan are “basically the same thing” and both orientations are very close but that very difference means everything to me. I am attracted to people, romantically and sexually, regardless of their gender. that is exactly it. and it’s very important to me.

I'm sorry if this is a mess, it’s hard to say things in the right order when I have so much to say, but I'm going to go back to what I was saying in the beginning about my family. I talked about my mom. my parents have been separated since I was 6 and haven’t spoken to each other in like 12 years btw. so, as for my dad, I know he wouldn’t care. he’s not homophobic, not racist. he does say homophobic and racist things sometimes, without realising it, like a lot of people do, and that doesn’t make him a homophobe. I know he doesn’t care if I'm gay, and I feel good just knowing that. however, remember, my family is italian. everyone around us is 100% straight (except for my cousins, I'm pretty sure one of them is bi-curious and the other is ace, but they aren’t open about this at all and have probably never questioned their sexuality lmao) and then there are my sister and I in the middle of it, and we’re like “yup, we’re the gay cousins”. the italian side of my family is huge. like really, my father has a total of 24 cousins (and I don’t mean the little ones and all that, I mean first degree cousins), so imagine how many of us there are in total when you’re counting everyone’s kids, spouses, grandkids and great-grandkids (you read that well, some of his cousins are old, some are even deceased). and they’re italian. and 100% into their religious set of mind that has them believe their god forbids being gay and that we’ll burn in hell. whatever, would’ve been going there anyway, gay or not so it’s not like I care, all the more reasons to be a fag. 

and yes I have proof they are racist and homophobic, I've heard the things they’ve said. so, I, whomst has had depression for basically all her life and also has every existing form of anxiety there is, don’t exactly feel comfortable around these people. and on top of being gay, I listen to “Ching Chong music”!!! how do I have to put into words that I know exactly what they think of me? I even have blue hair now so like, blending in even less than before. so yeah. 

to add on to that feeling of worthlessness, when I entered high school, I was still a top student without doing any type of work whatsoever, but then depression got the best of me (like for real this time how am I even still alive tbh) and I fell so hard I could barely stand going to school anymore. my last two years of high school (it lasts 3 years in France) have been disastrous. I barely attended and could barely manage keeping my grades above average, because I had zeros on 99% of my homework since I never did it. still had good enough grades on tests though, and it saved my ass. 

honestly, I don’t even want to talk about these years and how I was feeling, because it’s still too fresh for me and I'm stil trying (yes, trying) to heal from it. I can say without a doubt that they were some of the worst years of my life though. however final exams came and my ass managed to get a really good grade without revising anything, this way I could send a big, huge, fuck off to my teachers who had been shitting in my face for years and making me feel like the hugest shit on earth. I hope they choke on their jealousy. then I went to uni for about three months, where I majored in English, but eventually decided to stop because I couldn’t go a day without having a panic attack on the train, because I still couldn’t get my ass to do any work, because I was bored out of my mind and just when I had started feeling better after leaving high school I was sinking further down. I spent months staying home without seeing anyone but my mom and doing nothing but watching Netflix (the French catalogue isn’t as interesting as the American one btw). then, I finally found the guts to go see a therapist. not gonna say it was a mistake, but I'm glad I stopped because this bitch was just here to take my money. I took antidepressants for a few months, and I have stopped really recently, actually. in all honesty, I have gotten much better, thanks to my own doing, I've worked so hard on getting better and I'm proud of how far I've come. 

today, I can finally say for the first time ever in my life that I am proud of who I am. 

the whole point of saying all of this shit you have (maybe) read is not because I want people to give attention to me or anything like, I don’t want pity or anything and truly don’t think there are any reasons for people to feel any pity towards me. I'm saying this because I want to thank the people around me for just existing, for supporting me, for making me feel validated. because you might not realise it, but (a lot of) you are often talking about your problems, and it makes me realise that I'm not the only one feeling this kind of way. it makes me realise there are people who might understand me, even just a little. and when I see you talking about your sexual/romantic orientation (or lack of so) it also makes me feel accepted. I see you guys reblog such validating things, and then some of you even have pride flags in your layouts, and you have no idea how my heart feels about it. if you weren’t aware, I'm a twitter person. I've spent so much time on there, I have met lots of people, lots of which are part of the community and openly supporting it, and yet I have never felt more validated than since I've been on here. 

I've also met the people I consider “the most” as my internet best friends on here, like my best best internet friends, if that makes sense lmao, and not actually on twitter (although I might be pushing it because I have actually gone from IVL to IRL with most of them so like... whatever.) point is: I have met amazing friends I'm so thankful for on here. and all the people I see in my dash, to all of you, thanks for everything too even if we don’t really talk and if we haven’t had actual discussions before. now if you want to, you can always come to me to talk about whatever the fuck you want. 

so, here, I want to thank all of you, because today I'm finally starting to think maybe, just maybe, that I want to keep on living and that good things might happen to me. I have no plans for the future, since I never imagined myself getting this far in life, but I'm still willing to give it a try. 

please, if after you’re reading this, you’re thinking about telling me cliché things about staying strong and all that, I'm going to ask you not to do it. it just feels like pity to me. or choose your words wisely, I'm begging you, because I can’t stand thinking anyone would pity me. please don’t feel like that, that’s not the point of this.

I'm doing this as a thank you, and as a message to everyone out there who’s read this. I hope my words mean something to you. maybe help you? it’s ok to be confused about who you are. it’s ok not to like yourself, it takes so much work to get better and all that, but just know that you can do it, it is possible to do it. it takes time, it will hurt, but it’s an option. it’s not impossible. 

now. I have some people I want to send a quick message to. I guess some of you will be surprised, but just read what I have to say please, and know that from the bottom of my heart, I mean it.

@hwangwhatjin Emily. I don’t even know where to start, and soon I won’t even be able to see what I'm typing anymore because the tears I've been fighting while writing all this crap have started flowing all of a sudden the second I typed your name. you’re the first friend I made on here. we started off nothing, and I was a no one, and yet you still talked to me and all that. you’re honestly one of the most tolerant and kind people I have ever met in my life. you’re the exact opposite of prejudiced, you’re so open minded, so not giving a shit about other people’s quirks (I mean it in the right way) that don’t concern you directly, like people are who they are and you don’t give a damn about it, it’s amazing. I know this doesn’t sound like a compliment, but I can’t find the right way to put this. you’ve also always been there to listen to me whenever I wanted you to, and you have never judged me once. you have no idea how thankful I am for having you in my life. I wouldn’t want to have anyone else hold the title of bro. I love you so, so much, and I'm sorry we haven’t been talking lately. I hope I can help you just like you’ve helped me and support you as much as you need me to in the future, and I want you to know I'll always be there for you, I'll never let you down. you have no idea how much I can’t wait to meet you so I can wrap you in a blanket and give you hot chocolate while I light up a gingerbread scented candle (yes, I remember) and put on some blink-182 and stroke your hair because it’s what you deserve. you’re one of my best friends, like ever, and it’s such a pain we’re so far from each other, fuck this damn channel. one day I'll just swim to you to hear your wonderful accent you say you hate so much. anything to see you. I'm sorry I'm so old, I wish it were less of a problem, but as you grow up this gap will be less and less of an obstacle, so let’s just be patient, yeah? I love you, bro. roach bros to the end of the line.

@pikachulein Laura. ok. where do I start and how do I stop my eyes from sweating so much. you know, I'm just gonna say it. in my opinion, soulmates aren’t the people we’re especially meant to be with in a romantic way, and we might even have several of them. I just think they’re people who just bring you so much, and people who are like another version of you, but different. kind of like I described in my Felix au, actually. when I call you my soulmate, I really mean it, because I'd never thought I'd meet someone who understands me so well because they relate so much, someone who basically shares the same mind because hell, when have we ever had different thoughts on something like... it will never cease to amaze me. it’s only been a few months since we’ve known each other, but I actually think you’re one of my closest friends. hell, on the day we meet, because I'm not taking no for an answer, I don’t even know how I'll be holding up like, I won’t know how to act. so in advance, I'm sorry if I'm so weird at first. you’ve listened to the story of my whole life and you’ve shared your experience back, and you have no idea how thankful I am for that. maybe you haven’t realised, but you’ve been of a huge help to me. thank you for being so understanding, for not judging me, for being so open about everything with me, thank god I have someone with whom I can talk about literally any subject without it feeling uncomfortable or like i’m being judged. I have so many things to say I can’t even find the words, honestly. I’m just so thankful that you exist and that I have you in my life, and that you actually like me as a person too. thanks so much. you’re my best bitch, together we’re the baddest bitches of the pan squad and I can’t wait to travel across Europe with you for real. the world ain’t ready for us. 

@hanniesunshine Isabel. you’re just the biggest ray of sunshine ever. everything about you is so pure I'm even scared to be one of the people you talk to because I feel like you don’t deserve to talk to me (I mean like you deserve much better than me) and that I'm way too filthy for you. you’re always so good and kind to me, so, so supportive, and I can’t even thank you enough for that. honestly, every time I see you somewhere, kakaotalk, WhatsApp, Tumblr, I just can’t help but smile because you’re the purest and brightest being the earth has ever seen and I can’t believe you would actually want to talk to someone like me. I'm so sorry for everything. I'm so sorry for being such a cold bitch (and for using this word) sometimes, and for almost never finding the right words. thanks for always being so eager about reading my content. I'll keep supporting you, and I'll do better in everything!! I love you, so, so much. I'll always be there for you if you need me or want me. 

@sleepyracha Marie. I'm so, so sorry I'm so inconsistent and that I don’t talk to you as much as I used to, I hope we’re still okay. I just want to thank you for being the open minded person you’ve shown me you are and for supporting me all the time, and for very interesting conversations about literally anything. I promise I'm learning Spanish and that soon we’ll be able to talk together in another language than English. I hope you’re doing well and that you know I'm always there for you, and if Tumblr isn’t the best place for you, tell me where you want me to be for you. congrats on passing this year, you’re someone amazing and you’re so chill, it feels so good to see someone like that. thank you for even talking to me in the first place, thank you so much and I love you. 

@lesbianbias Nina. you’re such a soft and pure person, I'm so glad you were my skz anon and that I got to meet a wonderful person like you. you’re always showering me with love, and I always feel like I don’t deserve it. thanks so much for all the support, please, please never change. I love you and you’re amazing. thank you for being so chill as well. I'll make sure I'll return that love to you. 

@xiaocity siya. thank you so much for listening to me, you know what I'm referring to. I know you’re one of those who really deeply understands me and I'm thankful we got to talk, even just a bit. I'm always there if you need me, thank you for supporting me and my works, and be more confident in your writing, it’s good!! I think we actually have a lot in common too, so if you ever feel like talking, feel free to drop by in my dms.

@littlefallenrebel Sophie. we haven’t talked that much, but I feel like we should talk more. we have a lot more in common than we think, I'm sure of it. thank you for being you, thank you for the messages you’ve been spreading with your posts and reblogs. you’re an amazing person and I'm happy you’re my mutual because you’re a truly good person. 

@visualgiggles sam. thank you for your reblogs, whatever they’re about they never fail to cheer me up, whether they’re about tolerance or just memes, even the latter help me regain faith in humanity. we haven’t talked that much but I would gladly talk some more with you if you ever wanted to. you’re a wonderful person and I'm thankful you’re my mutual. 

@dreamypansexual I don’t think we’ve ever talked, I'm not even sure I know your name so I don’t want to say something wrong. but that doesn’t matter, because you’re still one of the people who make me feel the most validated here. hell, you literally have a pan flag as your layout (your user... I mean yeah). your posts are always making me feel so much better because it proves me that there are still such tolerant and open people out there, so thank you. 

@cloudyyboii honestly, I think it’s kind of the same as with your friend right above between me and you. it doesn’t matter though, thanks for the validation and the tolerance you’re spreading around. love you. 

@jxsng Kylie. I don’t think we’ve ever had a private conversation, but whatever. you’ve shown me lots of supports in every other way and you’re such a sweet and open person, I'm thankful you’re my mutual. I feel small next to people like you because I feel like you hold the whole world in your hands, you’re one of those meant to go places and it shows. I'll always support you too. thank you for everything and I love you.

@ggukksrose shims. you’re definitely one of the people who make me feel validated the most, so from the bottom of my heart, thank you. I always see you sticking up for others and telling the haters to go fuck off, and you even did that with me. you’re an amazing person, and I admire you for the confidence you’ve managed to achieve and I wish you the best in the future, I hope you’ll only get better and better with your fights and if anyone ever messes with you I'll be throwing hands. just say the word. I love you. 

@cypher-yngi Emerson, am I wrong? we’ve never talked though we’ve been mutuals for so long. from what I've seen, we have a lot in common and I'd be more than ok to have even a simple conversation with you, even if you said Orangina was good. you’re also one of those who have helped me feel valid and realise I'm not alone in this world, so if you’re ever feeling alone, and if you want to, let’s be alone together, maybe? gotta love FOB. also, you have amazing music taste. and you're a fellow yoongi stan, and that itself says a lot about the kind of person you are. thanks for existing and I love you.

@wonwonbebe ah... have you ever told me what your name was? I have terrible memory. doesn’t really matter. I love you, I'm so thankful that you were my anon and can’t believe you actually went through all that just to talk to me. you have no idea how thankful I am. you’re a wonderful person, and I'm so, so happy to see that my mutuals are all so amazing and tolerant. thanks for all the positivity. 

@psycho-robin-chan robin, right? we’ve talked a bit before. if you read what’s above, you’ll probably find some parts a bit familiar, haha. I actually loved this conversation with you, if that makes sense? it’s always interesting and it feels good to let it out. I also like seeing I'm not alone, and I like to think that when I speak about such things with people I might also be helping them feel better. so thanks, you also make me feel valid with your posts and reblogs, and you’re such a tolerant and open and chill person at such a young age. never change anything! thanks for being here and supporting me. 

@mirohell sage! we haven’t been mutuals for long, and I'm not expecting you to read everything I've written, it’s ok if you don’t, really. I just wanted to thank you real quick because you’re already showing me lots of support and I feel like we’ll be getting along well. if you want to read this, I'm sorry for putting so much on your shoulders so quick lmao, you’ll basically be knowing so much about me without having asked for anything. feel free not to read it, I'm repeating myself again but really, the actual important part of this post is this one where I thank you all individually. so thank you!! I'll do my best in supporting you in the future as well, and not only by showing your edits some love haha

@theminho min! we haven’t been mutuals for long either, but thank you for caring about me. thanks for even just following me. thanks for this message you’ve sent, it means a lot really. you don’t have to read all that I've written above either,, don’t feel pressured, I just wanted to thank you personally too for just being here and for the support. feel free to come talk to me whenever you want (if you ever want) and I'll be supporting you always!! 

@justlovingkpop my sweetheart, you’re just too cute and so supportive and loving. thank you so, so much for everything and for coming to talk to me!! I'll go reread some of your work soon to because I've missed it. thanks for existing, and know that I'm always there for you. love you lots. 

@strawb-milk-tea my babyyyy I'm going to repeat it but thank you and I love you and you’re so cute and you’re NOT a potato ok, you’re so, so pretty like I knew I was gay but phew... I feel valid too when I see you. long live the gays. 

@five-pence hey there! it’s been a while. hope you’re doing well. thank you for supporting me, thank you for making me feel valid as well, and I love you very much. I'm here whenever. 

@jooheonenthusiast yo. we’ve basically only talked bc of that one post I made, and it’s been enough to show me that you’re an amazing person and a bad bitch. thanks for your support and fuck the homophobes. I love you. 

@marriael adellum. you’re a really kind person. you’re so pure. and you make me me feel very much valid, love your profile pics from the last days by the way. thanks for existing and I'm glad you’ve joined us on the network, it’s a pleasure to have someone like you around. hope I'm not too much of a pain in the ass. 

@channiiebby gryphon. we’ve never talked privately, but you’re a sweetheart. thanks for being you. you’re valid and you know it, and that makes me feel valid too, so thanks for showing me it’s okay to be who you are. I love you.

that’s it. I'm out of words. I've been at this for like 2 hours now. if I think of anyone else, I'll just reblog and add them. but right now I feel totally empty because of all the emotion hive poured into all this and I need to recharge, so good night and I love you all. thank you for your time and attention. 

happy pride month everyone,

your friendly neighbourhood pansexual, zia. 

#on this note #good night everyone #I love y'all #rants #personal #<33 #sorry for bothering you all with this

[babeejeon]

tag tag tag

 @livlovesbangtan and @gukieyoongles tagged me, thanxx 🤭🤭🤭 

I wrote too much stuff and also stupid stuff, feel free to pass it if it bores you. But it really relieved me to get these of my chest.

little rules our game has is;

*tag the person who tagged you

*answer the questions

*tag 10 people

i am starting ahahaha!

1. how tall are you?

I am 163 cm i guess, but I haven’t have measured since 8th grade and actually I feel like I haven’t grow since then. And my lil sis is even taller than my ideal height, ugh cryyy... Is there any one magic to spare me a few centimeters 🙏🙏

2. what colour and style is your hair?

My real hair colour is dark brown but i colored my hair with some temporary hair dye at the end of 2017 and around february 2018, 2 times. I dye it to a colour ‘Toffee Caramel’ and since my hair has really dark colour i didn’t expect it to change my hair colour too much but i think it did. Actually the dye was popular and also under nice brand. So i trusted and it was saying only for 28 wash or something <sorry i couldn’t translate 🤭🤭🤭> But i still have that dye at the ends of my hair but it looks horrible but my hair is so damaged. I cut it short, it doesn’t get longer and i don’t know what to do. I want to dye my hair in darker colour, similar to my real hair color and have my own colour back but my sister doensn’t let me do. HELP!!!

3. what colour are your eyes?

Dark brown 🤭🤭🤭 listen this song  😉 this song for all the jungoo lovers..

PS: I might write somethings about this song 🤭🤭🤭

4.  do you wear glasses?

Thankfully no. Because glasses never look good on me, even sunglasses. Maybe because i have sharp and thick eye brows but i love my eye brows  🤭 🤭🤭 But everyone in my family wears glasses due to eye problems so i might wear in the future.

5.  Do you wear braces?

I never wear braces and actually i am scared of dentists so i am glad. 

6.  what’s your fashion sense?

Actually it is very complicated. I might like anything. But i am not so into popular fashion sense, i sometimes find it weird or can’t like some fashion trends no matter what. 

I like to wear anything i found stylish and what wanted to wear and if feel that suited me. Actually if i feel confident with my clothes, hair, make up and over all look, my day starts so nice but if not, nothing helps too much. But lately i am in a depressive mood, especially at college and i feel super fat and ugly and i had other problems. But i am in a spring break and i hope to start motivated to new semester.

I love high waisted jeans and short tshirts. I dont like thick sweaters because i feel suffocated idk why. I love wearing short sleeves any time. I love sneakers. I love cute clothes. 

7.  full name?

I dont want to expose my real name here, I mean friends i have here know it but this post can be seen by everyone and i dont want anyone from my real life to find me so i am passing this question, sorry 🤗🤗🤗

8.  when were you born? 

I was born in 1999 and @gukieyoongles i definetely agree to you about being 90′s child ahaha if my older sister read this she would laugh at this 90′s child part but yes i am 😒😒😒

9.  where are you from and where do you live now?

I will pass this question too, sorry 🤗🤗🤗

10.  what school do you go to?

I am in college or university, I don’t know the difference between them, please enlighten me. We use university in my language but to be exact i am undergraduate student.

11.  what kind of student are you?

I used to be number one student because my mother was primary school teacher, my father is professor at university and my sister studied in best schools. So i had the effect and actually i was so focused and used to this thing. But in last semester of 10th grade my life turned upside down in the aspect of success. I lose it so fast and it added up my depression, I felt like only speciality i had was being a succesful student and now i am nothing. But i actually lost my motivation that times so i didnt put some effort. But due to my 10 years of hard work, I get the chance to get into nice university.

I am still lazy and unsuccessful but lately trying to get better so wish me luck 🙏🙏🙏

12.  do you like school?

I dont like it but that must be something with my self. Because after 2 semesters i still couldn’t adapt it totally. I hate being alone at school but also i am not such a social butterfly. So i feel confused. I have friends but i feel awkward sometimes. I don’t know adult life is so hard.

And also i sometimes feel like i hate my major but sometimes i love. So when the lessons are hard i cry and feeling like i dont belong here. So my advise is studying your dream job. but i dont have one, so yeah 😫😫😫

13.  favorite subject? 

Actually none, engineering majors suck. I love English lessons because i only feel confident in them and understand things easily and sometimes enjoy. But it is also about academic sides of English, so not very fun.

14.  favourite tv shows?

I don’t watch tv, also i don’t watch tv shows online too. I sometime start series on Netflix or some korean dramas but lose my interest soon. I AM BORED BORING 🤐🤐🤐

15.  favourite movie?

I don’t have an exact one but I love Harry Potter films and Midnight in Paris as the ones i remember. I recently watched To All The Boys i Loved Before, Like for Likes(korean film), Shazam and enjoyed all there of them.  But i don’t have a favourite one because i don’t watch a lot.

16.  favourite books?

I am not a good reader of real life books because i might lost my consciousnes with fanfiction and fangirl stuff. But now i really want to read somethings, but have no time, but will try my best.  This year i finally read Pride and Prejudice and love it too much. *searches for her Darcy hopelessly* 🤭🤭🤭 I also read a book related to Pride and Prejudice, it’s name is Austenland and it slapped me in the face about reality. If someone read it, dm me, i really need someone to talk about it without giving spoilers.

Also i read last year Stranger by Albert Camus. I don’t think i understand it exactly but it gave me this feeling in my chest. I think a lot of people probably read it, I would also love to talk about this book if you dm me.

I read all Harry Potter books except the last one idk why. But i read them in 8th grade. I know I was pretty late to read them but I was scared of Harry Potter 🤭🤭🤭 But now I reminisce that year as the best year of my life despite the fact that i was preparing for high school enterance exams. So Harry Potter holds a lot of emotions and memories for me.

17.  favourite pastime?

Wasting my time! Spending all my time on social media. Sleeping too much. Listening music with my earphones and stare outside dreamily. Doing some penpal and bulletjournaling projects(i cant do lately tho)

But in everyday life my favourite past time is listening songs we like while my sister is driving us to school. We also talk, gossip, laugh, sing along. We do it everyday while commuting and i enjoy it too much. Our school is pretty far and i dont really enjoy car rides but sometimes i enjoy this time too much that i want it to last longer.

18.  do you have any regrets?

Too many. But i can’t change them. So best thing is focusing to future but I am a person who lives thinking past and lost chances or mistakes so it ruins me. But actually to live it free, forgetting and trying to not to do them again is the best.

19. dream job?

I dont really know, but something that can make me happy. I want to go to work eagerly, enjoy my work and be proud of with my life. Something that can satisfy me and make me improve myself.

I had dreamed to be singer similar to @livlovesbangtan . But I might hate singing if I have the responsibility so no. I would love to sing and annoy people while showering like Namjoon. 🤭🤭🤭

20. would you ever like to be married?

Yes, i would love to. But actually for a very long time marriage scared me. Because of the people around me and our culture. My dad and mom had rational marriage so it also made me lose my faith. Also i see like everyone marry and streotypical life starts. People work, have childs and WHAT!!!

I am not necesserily living for marrying. I would never, if I can’t find the love of my life or i can’t trust someone. But i am such a hopeless romantic, I want to experience pure love for someone and get the same love back. It doesn’t sound so realistic so I might find it ever. But still i wish.

I want to have someone I can trust but actually it never happens in real life. Or i can’t like someone in that way, i always find some flaws. So i really need to fall in love miserably to not to see anything and love someone too much, but i don’t know if i can.

I want my s/o to propose me in a night picnic, alone and out of sudden. I would love him to carry the ring in his necklace and didn’t plan to propose exactly. Like he wants to but doesn’t know when, so he carries it with him. And that night with outbursting love, he would propose me and i accept and we have surprise weddding that night by our selves. UwU *dead*

21.  would you like to have kids?

I am not sure. First of all, I would marry to spend all my time with my s/o not for having childs. <saying this just because a lot of people around me does like that> 

I love kids but I am not sure. Like they are so cute as a baby and child but what if i can’t stand while they are in puberty?! 🤭🤭🤭

Also i sometimes feel like ‘why did i born? i didn’t want this? i don’t want to live!’ . Also feel like what if my child feels the same? Also think it is selfish to bring someone to life because we want to but life is just for suffering. Idk, i am pretty pessimist sometimes. And i dont know 😭😭😭

but i love babies, especially when they hold my forefinger with their whole fist. *cryyyyyy*

22.  how many?

Idk, bro.

23.  do you like shopping?

Yes 😉🤗🤭 i love to buy stupid things that i dont need or use.

24.  what countries have you visited?

I only visited UK and actually i loved it 😍😍😍. Also spent one day in Georgia, see around in a one day trip. But i would like to see more. 

25.  scariest nightmare you have ever had?

Let’s not talk about this. I see stupid, weird, annoying, scary dreams too much and i hate it.

26.  any enemies?

I used to have too many, but actually i realised it was one sided hate. They annoyed me but didn’t give any fuck. I hated but it only effected me, they continued carelessly so i decided to not to have one. I feel annoyed and dislike and hate people but control it to not to effect on my life. Also i try to not to have any fights with anyone. If i really don’t like them i ignore them etc.

27. any significant other?

Not yet but waiting for him to find me!

But i can’t pass this without mentioning jeon the dork jungkook. I love him 😍😭🤭

28. do you get along with your family?

I love them and i am very attached to them but also fight with them time to time.

29.  do you believe in miracles?

I believe but don’t believe i will have one.

30. how are you?

I dont know. Not too bad, not too good, enjoying but sometimes bored but sometimes tired of this life but sometimes enjoying too much???

I warned at the start so i don’t know if someone is reading still. but thanks for reading and feel free to talk to me about this stuff.

I tag everyone who wants, please tag me so i can read your answers. as the 10 people thing;

@teanites @artjjk @nochuuuenthusiast @yoongspeach @iamsadsstuff @mintseesaw @jeons-wasabi @arthoejaebum @yoongithes @kayakookie