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#yes the government sucks ASS

master-k0hga · 2 months

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| ... Well, I WAS ok with this last night, but now I'm not entirely happy with this doodle...-

Oh well, not like they're the main focus on this blog, I'm mostly really focusing on my OCs and the other few personal projects here... Although doesn't help with Tumblr just no longer filtering themselves, showing off their true colours for the longest time and also jumping on the "AI" bandwagon too along with just being a dictated lot like the rest of the assholes who make up 100% percentage of all brands-

I'm just a fucking idiot who just wants to draw OCs, post random fcking art and show it off when I'm not fcking working and killing myself over a job that will never release me from the clutches of bullshit!

WHAT WAS SO. FUCKING. HARD ABOUT KEEPING ONLINE AS A DUMBASS PLACE WHERE THERE WAS NO PLAGIARISM, POLITICAL BULLSHIT FOR SITES TO TAKE ADVANTAGE OF AND FUCK THEIR OWN USERBASES. WHILE ACTIVELY CONTROLLING AND TAKING THEIR FREEDOM AWAY!

Not like we ever had freedom to begin with-

Twitter, Reddit, YouTube, DeviantART, Instagram, T- HERE! WHEREEVER FUCKING ELSE! Fuck all CEOs and teams of the online world, people just wanted ONE place where they could escape hells of reality even just for a LITTLE WHILE and NOW look what you did- Kill yourselves!! I fcking hate corporates I hate the rich I hate the system and I hate governments all around thr world, D I E ffs fuck humans and their greed I hope this shit ass race gets OBLITERATED with NO fcking trace of the human existence left!! Fucking disease, pests, a literal INFECTION of life itself!

Fuck you fuck you fuck you I hate this fcking world, do me a fcking favor and fcking blow up already!! I've had e-fucking-nough

. Art © Me . DON’T RE-POST .

#.....#AND FUCK YOU TOO!!#........#MASTER-K0HGA #Ary / Kohga Chronicles #Ary / Kohga OCs and Works #.......#No I'm not gonna fcking tag this shit!! Why tf should I!?#Nobody fcking gives a shit. Let alone the people who are ACTIVELY GETTING MASSACRED TO OBLIVION AND BACK!!#Humans are a fcking selfish lot and you can see it with the cunts who run it!#The cunts we vote for are all vile and evil and desrrve to get shot and killed #The shit ass rich cunts who try to ''influence'' our way of thinking and speaking to benefit themselves #Make themselves more fcking richer or whatever. Dickheads dictating and controlling people's lives #Assholes being cunty assholes who also need to die! Fuck everyone who says the good outways the bad #IT FCKING DOESN'T AND YOU CAN STOP THAT DELUDED BULLSHIT!! HUMANS ARE NOT FREE #WE ARE LIKE ANTS!! WE ARE AN ANT COLONY WHO'S JOB IS TO WORK TIL WE'RE DEAD #THAT'S WHY EVERYTHING THE GOVERNMENT DOES IS TO NOT. BENEFIT. OR. HELP. US #CONTROL CONTROL CONTROL AND THEY JUST GO BACK TO THEIR FCKING YACHTS HAVING-#THE MOST EXPENSIVE SHIT ASS WINES AND DINES WHILE WE WORK OUR ASSES OFF TIL OUR BONES BLEED RED #TIL THERE'S NOT LEFT OF OUR MIND OR ENERGY TO THINK. SPEAK. LISTEN AND FIGHT FOR OURSELVES!!#THIS IS THE REASON WHY PEOPLE CRACK AND KILL EITHER THEMSELVES OR OTHERS!!#EVEN OUR FCKING HARD WORK IS BEING USED AND PROFITED AGAINST US. AND THERE ARE STILL #CORPORATE SHILLS WHO ACTIVELY SUCK THE OPPRESSORS DICK LIKE A LOLLIPOP. YOU'RE BEING UUUUSED!!!#I'M BEING USED. WE'RE ALL BEING FCKING USED AND PEOPE ARE TOO COWARDLY OR DELUDED TO SEE THAT #THEY DON'T GIVE A FUCK ABOUT YOU. ME. OR US. YOU SOLVE ALL ISSUES BY SNUFFING THEM OUT #KILL. THEM #YOU KILL THE OPPRESSORS. THE ONES IN CHARGE WHO USE FALSE HOPE IN EVERY WAY #..... YES I AM FCKING PISSED. I WOKE UP LIKE THIS!!#...... Anyways this is a fairly recent post so. I'm gonna get on with this little art spam for now.#It's been a couple months since I mentioned about it so.. Yeah whatever..

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rukunas · 1 year

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angsty?? deku sucks here (sorry don’t kill me)

“So?” His hands clasp together, steepled in anticipation. “What did that extra get you? Flowers? Chocolates?”

“Nothing.”

“Come on.” Dynamight smirks. “I need to know so I can get my girl something better.”

You scoff as you place the bouquet of fresh red roses in a vase on his desk, courtesy of his new model girlfriend. The note, marked with a perfect lipstick stain, taunts you. “Is it a competition?”

“When it’s with Deku?” Dynamight flashes his canines. “Yes.”

“You’ll win either way. I wasn’t lying. He didn’t get me anything.” You do your best to keep the vitriol out of your voice, but there’s still a sharpness hidden in your tone.

Bakugo catches it, smile disappearing and his brows pinching together in an uncharacteristic concerned frown. “Oh… That case from the Commission is probably kicking his ass right now.”

“Yeah.” You shrug stiffly. “Enjoy the flowers.”

You feel like a bitch. Dynamight is right— you’ve seen how much Izuku has been working, spending late nights at his office, traveling abroad, meeting with some big officials in the government. You even told him to not worry for Valentine’s Day.

So, why were you mad? You had no right. And yet, you thought…

Buzz.

Your phone: Sorry baby, will make it back late 2nite :(( Don’t wait up on me

Well. It didn’t matter what you thought.

The day seems everlasting, annoyingly so. You would know— having to watch each of your coworkers get their own little presents and cards throughout the day. It would be just as bad if you went home and swiped through your phone all day, watching couple after couple post about their date plans. Fuck it, you’ll just stay back in the office and work ahead, it’s not like you have anything else to do.

“The fuck are you still doing here?” A gruff voice echoes from the hall.

“Why are you here?” You shot back, eyeing the hero who leans against your door frame. You recall when you first started working for Bakugo as his assistant, nervous to even look at him in the eye. Now, you openly glare at him. “Your date is at 8. It was hard as hell to get that reservation, you better not waste it.”

“She’s busy, said it in the note. Where’s your date?”

“He’s busy.”

He hums lowly before looking away, staring at the clutter on your desk. Precious hero figurines that you’ve been collecting for years are propped up in poses, along with a picture of you and Izuku. It was from so long ago, you barely remember the memory.

“Would you—” He starts.

“Can I—”

Silence takes over as the two of you interrupt one another.

“Sorry. You go.” You gesture at him to continue.

“Come with me. For dinner.”

“Me?”

Maybe it’s an illusion, but you swear the tips of his ear go pink. “You said it yourself. I can’t miss that reservation. And you said you don’t have plans…”

“Okay.”

“Seriously?” He sounds surprised. It makes your lips curl upward, followed by a breathless laugh.

“Why would I say no to free dinner?”

“I never said I was paying.”

“Oh, shut up, Katsuki.” It was not an illusion, you conclude, watching as his cheeks turn the same color pink as his ears. It takes you a moment to realize you said his given name.

“Alright. I’ll start the car.” He turns to walk out. “Check your desk before you go.”

“Huh?” Too late— he’s disappeared around the corridor.

Suspiciously, you scan your desk. Maybe he left some form that needed your signature? A PR proposal? But nothing seems to be out of order…

Wait. You pause, breath catching as you find the one thing that definitely was not there before. The Limited Edition All-Might Golden Figurine—the figure that was one of the ten ever made, and one that you’ve always dreamt of getting your hands on— stands boldly at your desk. You don’t know how you missed it, not knowing when it was placed there. You feel warmth bloom at your chest, knowing the one person who’d given it to you.

With hands still shaking in excitement and awe, you send out a text: I love you and I love the gift! Thanks baby!!

You find yourself grinning from ear to ear as you pack your things into your bag and put on your jacket. As you do so, your phone buzzes. A happy sigh flutters from your lips as you rummage through your purse to grab it. You knew he’d get you something! He wouldn’t have forgotten Valentine’s Day! And he’s gotten you the best gift you have ever gotten—

?? What gift?

You roll your eyes at his faux cluelessness, moving to take a picture of the figurine. But, as you do, you catch the note stuck to the bottom of it.

The handwriting isn’t Izuku’s. Though, you recognize it immediately.

Happy Valentine’s Day. I hope I won.

#incoming tag spam #bakugo x reader #katsuki bakugo #bakugou x reader #katsuki x reader #katsuki bakugo x reader #katsuki bakugou x reader #bakugo angst #katsuki bakugou #katsuki #bakugo #mha #mha bakugo

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oval3000 · 6 months

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Chapter 3

Yandere Psych Patient König x Nurse Reader

Warning: Possesive, Obsession, Death, Gore, Blood, Smut, Toxic behavior, age gap.

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

Chapter 7

Chapter 8

Chapter 9

(This might suck idk. I don't know German so it's all Google translate)

-------------------------------------------------------

He hasn't left his room for a month. They kept him in their with the straitjacket on. His meals are just vitamins that he has to swallow. You would go in to check up on him, but new orders from the administrator's to not go near at all, so you pass by his room. You would peak through the little window and see him laying on his back with little no to motion on his arms or body entirely. His psychiatrist, Dr. Smith is the only that goes in there. They have sessions in his room instead of the usual spot they have it in.

She was pissed at everyone, specifically you. You are her punching bag, even though it was Ben's fault. "Why hasn't he been given his meds!" She yelled at you.

"We are not allowed to go i-" you tried to explain your her, but she could care less.

"You are his nurse right! Your job is to give him his meds! How did you graduate when you can't even do that!" She yelled at you.

You plead for her to listen to you "I'm sorry, Dr. Smith. I can't it's Mr. Millers orders. No one can go in except you because you are his psychiatrist."

So she strolled her way to the administrator's office.

Ignoring his assistant from telling her that she can't go in. Slaming the door open to see him sitting on his chair, writing whatever cral he writes on paper.

"Sarah calm down!"

"Do you have any idea how dangerous he is, and you want me to deal with him alone! On top of that the lack of guards is making my job harder!" Dr. Smith argued with a hand on her hips and her finger pointing towards Ben.

"Do you remeber when you wanted a nurse to look after him." She rolled her eyes. Yes, you, the nurse. "Do you have any idea how much money is going towards her. Triple the pay for looking after him."

Her hands swing in motion, showing her frustration. "She can't even do her fucking job Ben!"

"If she's alive, then she's doing her job well. What's making this hard, is you barging into my office and telling me what to do when you are the one demanding this." He stood up from his chair, fixing his navy tie. "We're loosing staff. People don't want to go near him. Gabriel is threatening to sue the company. Gaurds are quiting left and right so sorry that there aren't enough staff attending your needs."

She crossed her arms with an annoying sigh leaving her lips tinted with red lipstick. "Then hire more people, I don't see the problem?"

"Did you not hear what I said" he walked towards her, standing toe to toe to her. "Majority of our budget is going towards (Y/n). She's been here for two months now, lasting longer than any other nurses. We can't afford another hire with the same pay to deal with König. Besides he hasn't actually killed anyone in those two months, I'll take that than dealing with someone who has a broken jaw from a simple punch."

"Then ask for more money." She scuffed like if it was a joke she said.

He laughed at her face, "Do you think the government cares to fund more for this place, I already have the staff on my ass for new medical supplies, do you think they are gonna hand me the budget to hire someone with triple pay just because you are scared."

"Then fire (y/n) and hire a new guard, maybe someone with military experience."

"Why would I do that. You came into my office, spreaded your legs cause you were so desperate for a nurse and now you want me to fire her. She hasn't done anything in particularly wrong."

"She doesn't follow orders!"

"She does, you just make it difficult." He came in defense.

"Wasn't she trying to stop you from putting him into a straitjacket?" She smirked while her arms crossed at her chest.

"Yes, and she was right. Putting him in a straitjacket does nothing. He was fine it's just that..." he closed his eyes taking deep breath.

"Just what?" She came closer to him, placing her hand on his shoulder, gently caressing it.

He turned his head to her, he used to lovy dovey with her seduction, but now it's more annoyance. "Eli, the other guard, came to my office the other day and told me that Gabriel was provoking König."

She rolled her eyes, looking around his office. Paying attention to the paintings hanged up on the wall and the light objects he has on his desk. "Like what? Making fun of him? We all make fun the people here what else is new?"

"I don't know the full details, but that's what he told me." He sat a bit on his desk.

"Why does that matter?" She shook her head without a single thought in her brain.

"Gabriel is threatening to sue us. If we fight the legal action, we'll have to defend König. König, just like any other patient represent us, our care. If they find out that Gabriel was the one that caused this, making König the victim it doesn't look good after we placed him in the straitjacket. Like we silencing him out. It will ruin our reputation, we'll all loose our jobs and you fucked your way up here for nothing."

"But he harmed a worker, beside murdered multiple people." She let out a little chuckle, placing her hand on his chest.

He didn't give in, instead, he gave her a stare. "He's ex- military and as for you being his psychiatrist, you'll have to speak on behalf of him. Meaning that people will find out about you, how you never studied to become a doctor you fucked every professor you had to get your degree."

"What are you saying, Ben." Her smile dropped.

"I won't fire (Y/n). She stood up for König, making us look like we care about our patients. As for Gabriel, all he's asking is for some 20,000 thousand dollars, which we can easily give him worth than standing infront of the judge. Which means that we can't afford new guards for you. Besides they're taking off his straitjacket today, so stop being so scared and do your dam job."

"I still think you should fire, (Y/n) atleast." She hummed, wrapping her arms around his waist.

"I'm not doing that. Beside she's the only staff that doesn't barge in here demanding stuff. She nice and sweet...." he looked down to the side, " and...young and beautiful. "

She let go of his waist, clenching her jaw. Yes, you being so beautiful. "So what? You want to fuck her? Is that it. Never head young pussy before?"

"You should leave, I have work to do and so do you. This discussion is over." He walked to his desk, sitting down on his chair, unbutton his last few buttons from his dark, navy, blazer.

She stormed off his office, angrly stomping on the white tile floors with her heels creating a louder noise.

You heard the word going around that their taking of his straitjacket, so you quickly gathered what you need to check him up. You saw as the guards took off. He let out a big stretched, flexing more of his muscles. It caused a scare to the guards like a lion letting out a roar.

You walked up to and saw more of his face. He stared at you.

He missed you. He never thought he would miss you. During that month of not seeing you was a time he contemplated about you. Are you made for him or not. He will shut his eyes and images of you will pop up. You smiling at him. Taking good care of him. Watching you squirm under him as you take his full length cock inside your pussy. He'll treat you with respect as long as you do what he says that's all. Seeing your belly swell up with his baby. Can't wait to fuck your tits filled with milk. Can't wait to impregnate you with multiple of his children, making one big happy family. How protective he'll be for his kids, for you. To stand up to the bullies, to show them not to be scared of anything. To hold them if they cry.

He should kill you for making him react this way. He should just kill you. You are just another nurse thinking they have control over him. He use to give orders to people, being the colonel and all, he got the respect he fought for, why does he feel weak around you. You are so sweet and joyful to him. If he was back in the field and saw you, would he kill you. Or maybe fuck you. Maybe that's it. He hasn't done it in so long, so long he hasn't touch a women. He should've just fucked one of the other nurses. Yes, maybe he should do that. Fuck a nurse, just to see. I mean what's the harm in that.

"Aah...yes. right there ngh.... yes...oh fuck that feels good."

The sound of König's footsteps were low that they couldn't hear over the sound of skin slapping against eachother. Watching a men fucking his girlfriend on his bed.

"Does your boyfriend fuck you like this?" Slaming her ass back and forth on his cock.

"Ah....a-aah....he-..he could barley...make me- fuck!..mmgh....wet." She grip the bedsheets hard while he kept pounding her.

No. No. He can't. Not you. He can't. He can't betray you like they did. He can't imagine the face you'll make if you know he fucked another girl. No he should be pure to you. You should be the only one he touches.

He needs you. Okay, it's done. He'll make you his and you'll love him. You'll love him and care for him. Rather you like him or not it's done.

You wrapped the cuff around his bicep and squeeze the bulb reading the numbers on the circle, writing it down. Doing the usual things you have studied for. As you were checking his heartbeat, he reached up which caused you to flinch a bit. His index finger, gently, caressing your cheek. Your back was turned to the guards, making it hard them to see what's going. You stared at him as he touched you with such charisma. His thumb reaching to your chin, hovering over your lips. He placed the tip of his thumb on your bottom lip, gently pulling it out a bit.

You shouldn't have this feeling at the pit of your stomach. You couldn't tell of you didn't smack his hand away because you are scared or because you enjoy it. You never had this much attention, not like this.

"I don't have time to argue with you (Y/n)! Go to your room!" The little girl tuged at her moms shirt.

"Where's daddy?" She felt tears running down her face as her mother poured more wine into her glass, already finishing up the fresh new bottle.

"(Y/n)! Seriously go to room! You are such a headache! Why couldn't your father take you with him! Nauseating!" She dranked the entire glass, slamming the cup on the table.

"Where's daddy?" She said one last time not letting go of her blanket. The same blanket her father got her when she told him she was cold.

"HE LEFT! HE LEFT US (Y/N)! LEFT US FOR THAT BITCH! AND NOW I'M STUCK HERE WITH YOU. HE RUINED MY LIFE. I COULD'VE DONE SOOOO MANY THINGS! But no! I'm stuck to take care of a brat!"

He palmed your cheek, feeling your warmth. He went in closer to you. You could feel his hot breath, quicken as he got closer to your lips.

You pulled back, "I shouldn't- we shouldn't. I mean." You whispered to him.

"Mein liebling (my darling)." He whispered to you. The first time he spoke to you. You couldn't understand him, but he spoke to you. "Du bist mein (you are mine)." He pulled you closer to him, he didn't care if the guards were staring, if anything, he enjoys it. To show everyone that he is yours to touch. "Mein schatz (my sweetheart)," his lips were hovering yours, you felt a little tingle at how close he was.

You know this shouldn't happen. You turned your away from his. You walked back, feeling his grasp letting go. He stared at you witch a smile on his face. You saw the smile he gave you.

When your shift ended and went back to your apartment, the thoughts of what happened lingered into your mind.

That night, you couldn't sleep. He was in your dreams. What if you never pulled way. Were you really going to kiss him. You glazed over the parts where he touched you.

You searched the words he said to you to translate it. Sweetheart, darling, mine.

You felt the butterflies in your stomach again. You never felt so complicated before.

Having a crush on a patient.

You have a crush on König.

#cod modern warfare #cod mw2 #cod x reader #fanfic #konig x reader #yandere konig #yandere könig #konig #könig x y/n #könig x reader #könig cod #könig #könig mw2 #könig call of duty

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blo0mmie · 23 days

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(1) || Francis Mosses "Milkman/Doppelganger" || "Save a cow, milk the milkman!"

Cw: Yandere in General, Obsessive & Possessive Behavior. Broke-ass humor, rush in the end, Unprofessional writing, + shitty art at the end

...Man. This job sucks more than you've thought.

In all honesty, you'd never expect yourself to land and becoming a doorman, not that you had a choice anyway, as the moment you reached the age where you had to fend off of yourself, was the moment reality slap you straight in the face. No more cupcakes and rainbows nor a bed of roses.

You got yourself kicked out of your parents house and now renting a small apartment as you try to find a way to pay off your needs. Fortunately, or maybe not, a strange association that's called themselves 'DDD' offers you a position as their doorman in their building. And with no experience nor a prior knowledge on finding any job, you accept.

What you haven't been aware of, is that your job isn't gonna be your typical one.

The so-called 'DDD' association was a 'Doppelganger Detection Department', or whatever that is, that's built to catch and execute, you guessed right; doppelgangers. Apparently, copycats have been going in and out lately, and one of their favorite places seems to be the buildings/apartments. You don't even know whether to be concerned or be frustrated that the government hasn't made any moves yet. You slowly consider to just ditch the job and get the fuck out of there while you still can, but with the promising of a hefty pays for every wins....

Hey, You're broke, alright? You don't have the right to be a choosey here.

"Selenne Sver......chezttsss? Uh- you're not on today's list...?" You trail off, attempting (and failed) to pronounce the name of the person before as you inquire the reason why she isn't in the scheduled list for today. But the woman in front of you, just brushed you off and answered calmly, "It's 'Selenne Sverchzt' and yes, I am not on today's list because I had to leave due to an emergency"

....Emergency, huh. You nod as you began to check her folder while occasionally throwing glances at her. Everything looks fine.. She matches all the descriptions and provides enough verification to prove that she's truly a resident here. You mentally take note of this but you still have a doubt. After all, the doppelgangers seem to be getting good at impersonating lately, you'll never know. So in a last attempt to satisfy your guts, you pick up the phone and dial her assigned number.

RING RING RING

"Hello? Elenois Sverchzt, speaking. My sister isn't at home right now. Is she back?" Ah, so she's really speaking the truth. You quickly apologize for your sudden call as you reassure that, yes, her sister is here.

"Everything seems on the line, I assume? May I come in, now? You nod as you push the green button and quickly click the red button just as she enters the door. Making sure that it's securely locked as you slump back on your seats in relief. When suddenly, a new silhouette shows up to your window.

Oh great. You yawn as you stretch your sore limbs forward and force yourself to look up at the next person. Oh..... It's, the milkman.

"Good day, [Your name]" He greeted nonchalantly. The same tired eyes that are now weirdly locked against yours as he slides something through the gap below the window.

Ever since obtaining your position as a doorman, you'd come to realize that this man often leaves the building for work, moreso than the others, in fact. But hey, delivering milk to residents after residents on a daily basis must consist of the majority of your time, isn't it? It freaks you out in your early days, at first. With little-to-no knowledge on how the systems run, despite a small video tutorial given to you, you solely rely on today's list. So you ended becoming jittery and nervous when confronting him. Always in panic when you realize he's not on the scheduled list. This usually ends with you, almost making a miscalculated decision and him, calming your ass down by giving you an extra milk as he shows proof that he's a resident here. This cycle repeats for awhile till it quickly tone down as you get to know more about him. Him, giving you milk also becomes a daily, though, whether you like it or not.

He's a little early today. "Francis...? What're you doing her- actually, nevermind. That's sound as fuck dumb. Give me a sec" you shake your head and quickly spin your chair to check today's list. Dr. W. Afton, Angus Ciprianni, Roman Stilnsky, Nacha Mikaelys, Arnold Schmicht, Selenne Sverchzt... But no Francis Mosses. Huh,

"Uh, dude you're not on today's list, again" you snort as you repeatedly and carefully check all the names, as if by some miracle, his own might just popped up. But seeing the same result, you give up and rip your eyes out of the board and glance back at him for an answe- hey, wait, hold up-

"What, the hell is that?" You are quick to point the bottle of red liquid in front of your desk as you raise a brow. The milkman slightly jolted at the sudden question. Almost not expecting to be interrogated and to just be let in, but he quickly picked up his postures and he replied, "this? It's, uhm, a milk for you. yeah," He answered dryly, just like Francis usually would, but you aren't convinced just yet. "And it's red?" "It's a new set of flavors"

Yeah right, no shit. 'flavor' my ass.

Without hesitation, you quickly slam the button next to the DDD poster. Causing the room to flicker in red and the siren to rang violently. The blinds quickly dropped down and for fleeting moments, you caught the glimpse of 'francis' glaring to you with slitted-eye while also speaking in an almost incoherent way, till it cut off and your vision was filled with nothing but the blinds. You hurriedly call the DDD for assistance as you wait for them to finish the rest of the work.

You continue your job for more passing time. Doppelgangers easily get caught and residents are able to pass with a little more effort. Until your shift has come to an end, with the last doppelganger to deal with.

You began packing all of your things as one of the members of DDD approached you, still wearing that yellow body suit. "Congrats for completing your part once more, [[Name]]. Keep doing what you do and you might surpass Henry" You snort dryly as you give a brief glance before leaving your office, with the member, following after you. You retorted, "Yeah, yeah, whatever. hopes no doppelganger would ambush me on the way home" after this

The member only laugh at your reaction. Glancing back from behind, he catches the sigh of the bottle sitting still at your desk. He pointed out, "Hey, wait. I think you must've forgotten something" You stop dead on your tracks as you followed his trail of gaze. Ah, that.... "Yeah, right, I'm not taking that" the person only tilted its head "Why?" "That thing was gifted by one of the doppelgangers"

They snorted once more, albeit a little amused as they continued, "Then you should take it" "What?! Are you dumb? I'm not taking shit" "Well, if it's gifted for you, then you should accept it.. Didn't your parents teach you to be grateful for all the things you had?"

You groan as you storm off. With the DDD member, laughing behind you as they yelled, "IM SORRY, ALRIGHT!? SEE YOU TOMORROW!"

...Man. This job.

You sigh heavily as you continue walking, feeling every part of your body ache, particularly your back. Whether it's from sitting in one place for too long or just your generally poor posture, but you're not about to take any changes. Upon reaching your apartment, you eagerly kick off your shoes and dash inside. Tossing your bag to the side, you collapse onto your bed without bothering to remove your uniform. You let out a long sigh of relief as you bury your face deeper into the sheets, letting the fatigue help you to drowsiness as you pass out.

TICK TOCK TICK TOCK

As the night goes on and the clock ticks closer to midnight, your apartment lies quiet and serene. No noise can be heard from the outside world as if everything stops dead on the tracks, save from you, moving in your sleep as you try to find a suitable position.

That is until a noise erupted from the other side of the room. It wasn't loud enough to wake you up, if you still have an energy left to check it out, that is, but it certainly wasn't quite either. The silhouette slips through the unlocked door with something in its hand. movements stealthy and silent as they begin exploring your apartment. Inside, you remain blissfully unaware. Too wrapped up in a dreams to even hear the sound of your door, creeking open and footsteps followed after.

Suddenly, a hand clamps over your mouth, jolting you awake, albeit slightly tired as your vision grows fuzzy and clear back and forth. You don't have time to adjust as you come face to face with the intruder looming above you in the darkness. Half of its head was hidden behind the shadow but you could make out a pair of crimson-stained shirts and an eerie white orbs, staring straight at your soul.

"SUrpriSe, DooRmAn~' they cackle, voice was wrapped by a strange statics and gurgling that makes it hard to understand easily. Far grips you as you realize the danger you're in, but the fatigue immediately took back a hold of your body as your struggle decrease. Sighing, you give up and lay there motionlessly. Blinking occasionally to prevent you from dozing off once more.

The intruder giggles at your reaction. Lowering their head down, they reveal a face that you certainly wasn't theirs.

It's Francis- no, it's the face of the Francis. Saves from the wide hollowed mouth and disturbingly large black eyes that dripping with dark fluids. It's the sa.me doppelganger you had meet earlier. But, isn't he gone already? And why the fuck is here?

"...Trhhe fffcuck..? Bbittch-" "HUshEd~ LAnGuaGe"

Your eyes twitch as the doppelganger mockingly scold, cackling one more as you began trashing around. He looks around your place, gazes eagerly examining every part of your belongings before looking back at you "yOU kNow, I WaS OrIgiNallY pLannIng To gEt RiD OF You As yOU aRe a GodDamN nUiSaNce." Every time his mouth stretches and moves, black liquid that's dripping both from his mouth and eyes, falls into your face "BuT, AFteR ObSeRvInG You foR aWhiLe Now, I BeGan FeelIing StraNge ThIngs iNSide me..... DO yOu knoW wHat thAt is?" "Probably shit"

He grin(?) "No, SiLly~ It'S SoMethinG More~" the doppelganger sigh but not once letting go of your mouth. Suddenly he jolt up, as if remembering as he pull something out of his pocket. It's the 'milk' he had given you earlier.

"I wAs SoOO sad To KnOw thaT you DidN't drInk The MiLk I'Ve GavE yOu. I wOrK so HaRd To GeT ThiS, YoU kNow." He kept continuing as he popped the bottle open., spilling some red liquid in you as your eyes widen. He stop dead track for a moment, before his mouth stretch even wider as he inches the bottle in your face. Forcing your mouth open till the entrance of the bottle touches your lips

"I ProMisE yOu, Din'T I? It'S ScaRlet MilK~"

Bye

#🧸.yandere artist #🧸.yandere writer #🧸.long post #thats not my neighbor #that's not my neighbor x reader #milkman x reader #yandere that's not my neighbor

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mlm-writer · 1 year

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Daddy/Dearest (Wade Wilson x M!Reader)

Pairing: Wade Wilson/Deadpool x Alien!Cis!M!Reader Rating: Mature (lowest I can go with a Deadpool fic) Words: 1048 POV: Third Summary: You matched with Deadpool on the intergalactic dating app Starcrossed. After exchanging many dick pics, you decided to visit Earth for your first date... and blow the planet up if the date sucked. Note: Inspired by the song Party Tonight by Joe Hedourix and this prompt. Tags: first date, fluff, idk who Nick Fury really is tbh, 4th wall breaks, romcom and reader’s appearance is a little vague but at some point I started imagining Megamind

“Deadpool! Open up!” Wade groaned at the insistent knocking on his door. He tried to rub his eyes, only to find out that he was still wearing his mask. A quick look down revealed he had fallen asleep on the couch in his PJs. The knocking at his door stopped, so he rested his body on the couch. He had barely closed his eyes, when the door was knocked down.

He raised his head with a groan, only to be incredibly surprised by his guest. “Wow, Nick Fury, I am not sure if I am even supposed to know who you are, because the writer has seen exactly one movie in which you had a cat, but he supposes you’re an important dude or whatever.”

“Shut it, motherfucker,” the man wearing a black trenchcoat barked back at Wade. He clearly took note of the dirty white shirt with a butt on it and the blue chequered underwear Wade was wearing, but he did not comment on it. “Do you know the app Starcrossed?”

Wade laughed, not reading the room that had been filled with armoured men and women because we are inclusive here and women can and will kick your ass if provoked.

“That app with all the metas on it? Why? Did we match? I’m sorry if I did not reply, but you’re not really my type and you must have been an accidental swipe.”

“Stop yapping! Does this guy look familiar to you?” From his pocket he unfolded a picture printed on an A4 paper. Wade leaned in and squinted at the picture. He did recognise the person on it.

“Oh yes that’s my daddy - not my father - but like a sexual daddy you know. You should see his dick.” Nick looked like he was gonna lose it. Wade could tell, but he frankly did not give a shit.

“Well, your ‘daddy’ is the leader of an alien race, whose armada is in orbit right now to drop him off for a ‘date’ with you. So get dressed, because whether we get blown up or not today is apparently up to you.” That was a lot to take in, but Wade was used to weird days and this was simply just another one of them.

Now it was common to be nervous for a first date, but the fully armed SWAT team dropping Wade off was not helping. He tried making conversation with them, but they seemed to blame him for possible annihilation before dinner time.

When he stepped out of the chopper, there was a masculine figure waiting in front of the former military base. He held a large bouquet of iridescent flowers. They seemed either fake or from an alien planet. “Wadey!” The figure called out, waving frantically with all hands that were not holding the bouquet. The inhuman coloured skin seemed to change colour wherever the late morning sun was directly shining on it.

“Hi daddy,” Wade called back in the same cooing tone. He skipped over to his date. “Are those for me?” He mused, knowing the answer as his date handed them to him.

“I heard flowers are quite common to bring to a Terran date, so I brought some rare flowers from my planet for you. I am afraid they will not survive as long as they would on my planet though. The sun here is weak.” Wade smelled the flowers. They smelled like butt. Could be worse. At least Wade was familiar with the smell of butt. Wade held the flowers close as he thanked the other for them. “Well then, shall we? Your government was so kind to help me set up an Earth-date.”

The atmosphere was… weird. There was a very extensive brunch on a beautifully decorated table, but they were surrounded by people keeping them at gunpoint. “You don’t seem bothered by being held at gunpoint,” Wade noted as he rolled up his mask just far enough to shove a croissant into his mouth.

“Likewise,” his date smirked back at him. He reached out and touched the edges of the mask. “Come on, I already know your dick and ass are covered in scars. Your face cannot possibly scare me.” Wade thought about it. Well, his identity was not really a secret right now anyway. They already knew where he lived. Wade lifted his mask off his face, trying to not show how insecure he was about his fucked up face. However, when he looked at the alien before him, he swore he could see a hunger in his eyes. “If these people were not around, I would fuck your face right now,” the man sighed dreamily, before continuing to clumsily trying to spread butter on a piece of toast.

Wade reached out and decided to help him. Their fingers briefly touched and Wade saw the other man smile at the contact. It set his body on fire with desire. “I frankly don’t care about the audience, but after writing all those kinktober fics the writer can really use a break from blowjob scenes, so let’s keep this from being E-rated.”

Wade sat back down after buttering his date’s toast. He watched as the alien’s facial features reacted to the taste of Earth food. “Fascinating,” he spoke softly. Wade chatted with his date and those mesmerising eyes and charming smile kept drawing him in. At some point he was sure even Nick Fury could smell his arousal from wherever he was keeping an eye on the situation. There was no more food left, when his date rose from his seat and offered one of his hands. “Let’s get out of here.”

Wade grabbed his mask and put it back on. “We’ll have to fight our way out of here if we want to do that.” A corona of blue light started surrounding the alien, a devilish smile appearing on his face. The sudden display of power got people loading their guns and Wade’s gun filling up with blood really quickly.

“Do not worry, dearest, that can be arranged,” the most powerful being that had ever held him spoke, before he blasted a hole in the line of armed people, lighting the way to their future in a flurry of blue. “Let’s have a good time, dearest.”

#deadpool #wade wilson #ryan reynolds #deadpool x reader #male reader #deadpool x male reader #wade wilson x reader #wade wilson x male reader #mcu #marvel #mcu x reader #MCU x Y/N #mcu x you #mcu x male reader #marvel x reader #marvel x male reader #marvel x you #Marvel x Y/N

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sincerlycas · 1 year

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hi!! i absolutely love your fics, would you mind doing another Connie fic where he’s a plug.

boys need love 2.

summary: connie took you with him to all his drops stop by stop, things lead to another/ just know he needs to blow off steam and your there for him.

warning: oral, black y/n, messy y/n, a bit of mean connie, slighy rough, throat goat, mature scenes, etc.

I’m

swiping on your phone looking for outfits you’d purchased later on while sitting in a curled up position in the passenger seat waiting for connie to finish the trade. turning your to look at him approach the car and smile, finally seating down on the drivers seat and giving you a quick kiss he pulled off and went to the next destination. this has been going on for a while, him taking you to his drops but making sure your not seen he just loves when you were next to him.

“what’s you looking at so intensely on your phone mariposa?” he spoke so low with that accent that made you want to jump out your seat and su- “I’m looking for new clothes but these are not giving what they’re supposed to give.” rolling your eyes at those ugly ass options. “uh huh well when you’re done show me it and I’ll buy it fo you, and it better not be something that’s gone rip because of that fat ass.” laughing at the memory of that previously happening but yelping at feeling a squeeze in your ass from him slipping a hand behind you to grab on it.

“con- move your hand and focus on driving !!” smiling and moving his hand and went back to focusing on the road. stopping the car at some house connie reached over you to grab the last bag left that was in the glove department. fixing your glasses and giving your head a kiss like he always did before he left he went and got up walking up to the house. this time the drop took a while causing you to be a bit worried, reaching under your seat to grab the glock so you can go walk up to the house but was stopped by connie storming out the house with a mugging face.

“you good-” “-not right now y/n.” taken aback but not only his rudeness but him saying your government name. rolling your eyes and going back to your phone ignoring him the whole ride. “tell me you don’t know a javon y/n.” finally stopping the car at the drive way and tilting his head to the side staring at you. “nigga what- who tf is a ja- ohhh” you knew that house looked familiar! it was one of your bitch ass ex’s house. “he’s just an ex con” you answered but that didn’t seem to matter to him.

“an ex who asks me all sorts of questions like ‘is her pussy still good?’ ‘she like when you hit from the side’ ‘tell her hit me up when you done alr?’” after saying that sentence connie stopped the car and headed towards the house reaching into your guys shared bedroom. following after him trying to get his attention to which he would ignore, finally after reaching the room and standing up in front of him as he’s sat on the bed. “con he was trolling you, he doesn’t know shit about me fr, it doesn’t even matter anyway he’s a bum.” trying to relieve the conversation by reaching your hand to rub at connie’s curls to which he moves away.

sighing you went to the last resort by putting your body wave 30 inch into a ponytail and fixing your glasses to stay on sturdier. getting down on your knees and sliding his joggers off along with his boxers and taking his dick into your hands. “y/n the fuck are you doin- fuckkkk~” rolling his head back when you slid the tip past your throat and sucking sloppily while jerking the rest of the length off. rubbing at his balls while you started to deep throat it all the way to the bottom and started shaking your head causing bubbles to erupt and cover the whole bottom half of your face not caring if it looked messy.

curling his toes and groaning out loudly connie was paralyzed on the bed with his eyes rolling back, yes he’s gotten head before but you, you weren’t ordinary bitch you were a leech!! “ohhh shittt~ mamii~ that feels so good~” bring his hand onto your head to find something to give a bit of a tug on. letting out a slight whimper and bite his lap as you took it out your mouth and slapped the tip on your tongue repeatedly while flicking your tongue in a rapid motion against the tip. “you like that papi~” you said as you went down to start licking at his balls while looking up at him. “you know I do mami~ fuckk just like that~” kissing his teeth while reeling his head back connie didn’t know if he was in heaven or just dead overall by the way you was taking his soul, nigga had his toes curling, back arching, lip bitten, eyes rolled back, whimpers,and high pitch ass moans.

slipping it out over and over again as a way to tease him but rubbing his tip on the pad of your tongue letting him shoot his cum down your throat which you gladly swallowed. rubbing in his thighs to calm down his rapid breaths and minor leg shakes you leaned up and laid your head on his clenched stomach “you feel better pa~?” “yess~ you did such a good job mariposa~”

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jackdaw-kraai · 11 months

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Honestly, I think that we as a society are far too willing to say life and society and the world are shit, when what we really mean is that a few specific parts of it are shit. And it seems like such a small distinction, like, obviously we don’t think everything is shit, but when you use “life sucks” as a shorthand for “living as a person while parts of my life are governed by a system designed to grind me down” you start to believe it after a while. And yes, capitalism and racism and colonialism and homophobia and ableism and misogyny and all those other systemic problems do suck ass, but allowing them to commandeer such a vast, wondrous concept as “life” is both giving them too much credit and too much power. Oppressive systems can ruin a lot of things, and cause a lot of stress, but we shouldn’t let them claim more than they already have. Capitalism ruins many things, but don’t also let it ruin the soft peace of an early summer morning when bees buzz through the planter boxes of your apartment balcony. Don’t let abelism claim the innocent joy of talking with a person you love about anything and nothing at all. Don’t let homophobia stake its ownership on singing off-key in your living room with no one to judge you but the cat. These systems have already claimed so, so much, and they’re already so oppressive, but don’t let them convince you that they own life itself. These systems kill, and they kill many, but don’t let them deflect blame by waving it off as “just life being awful.” Don’t let them abdicate responsibility like that. Don’t let them make you believe that life as a whole is awful when life is such a vast thing.

Oppressive systems are a horror, but do not dare let them convince you that life is to blame for your difficulties. Life may not pick its favorites, but neither does it pick its despised. Humans do both, and we have the power to improve on both.

Anyone who tries to convince you that life is anything but brutally fair is trying to sell you something, and usually it’s apathy and disinterest towards improving your circumstances or upsetting the status quo by trying to make synonyms out of that vast, terrifying wonder that is life to something as banal as a bad system and malicious intentions of a very few.

Life does not pick its favorites. People do.

#welcome to the pride #pride #pride month

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eardefenders · 2 months

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Sherlock & Co - Mailbag Episode 3 Transcript

00:00 John: Heyyy there, I’m,uh, I’m, uh, back in your ears! Heh. Uh, thanks for inviting me in. Um, I-I just wanted to add a chunk on before this Q and A just to give you an update on all things Gloria Scott. Uh, thanks so much for the kind words, first off. Uh I-I-I did warn about its angst. Um, and I appreciate i-it’s not always a fun ride when, when those kinds of things happen. Um. But hey! I’m glad you all enjoyed it. Um, glad the masterful sound design was appreciated.

00:32 John: Uhm, yeah I thought I’d, I’d check in now and give you a rundown of it all. Post match interview sort of stuff. Uh, Lionel did recover from the stroke. He is out of hospital, but he will be going back to Australia. Um. He’s-he's obviously cooperating with the government, um, down there. It’s not an easy situation, but he’s handling it with remarkable grace and dignity. Um. Victor is, as well. Can’t quite get the read on things with him at the moment. He’s obviously very, very torn. Uh, we solved the case for him, but, y’know, yeah. H-he’s in a much worse place then he was before. Um. *pause* Such is life. Uh, such is a very complicated life, I should say. He’s helping his dad, with the inquiries. Uh, m-my gut says there’ll be prison time. *sucks teeth* Um, y’know, c-cooperation and evidence and the, yeah, t-the mitigating circumstances might be helpful to Lionel and all, but, uh… *deep breath* ultimately lives were lost. He was complicit. Y’know this is the world we live in.

01:49 John: *sucks teeth* Victor has paused the job search, but uh I-I do believe he’ll be coming back to the UK once, y’know, whatever happens, happens. But, uh, yeah. Tough stuff. Um, glad you all enjoyed Mariana joining in on the adventure. Um, don’t know if she enjoyed it all that much. So far she’s watched corpses get pulled out of the canal and now she’s watched an elderly stroke victim get extradited for murder. So, uh, y’know. *chuckles lightly* Welcome to the world of true crime, Ametxazurra!

02:23 John:Um, Sherlock asked me to apologize, also, actually. Um, yes, to apologize that he wasn’t technically correct in his solving of the case. Um, uh, Hunter did reveal the actual truth. I, I told him people wouldn’t really mind. He got me to apologize anyway, so, uh, yeah. There you go. Um, so he’s been a right mopey bastard, as you can imagine. *clears throat* So, to cheer him up, I carted him off to…an indoor theme park! Heh, yeah, you heard that right. Theme park. But indoors. Well, theme park’s a bit strong to be honest. I-I-It’s like an arcade with an indoor roller coaster. But yeah! Y’know! Uhm, back to Camden, but for a much more enjoyable experience.

03:05 John: These questions were asked, um, before The Gloria Scott episode aired. T-two that I ask Sherlock right at the end are eerily prescient. Um, that’s the right word, I think? Uh, I hope. Welp, you’ll see what I mean. Enjoy!

03:19-3:49 *Intro Music*

03:47 *Arcade Sounds Fade In, we can hear Sherlock exerting himself*

03:50 John: Yoooo, wassup guys! Welcome to the John Watson channel where we talk all things John Watson all the time! Ehh, that’s my impression of a youtuber or real podcaster, hope you enjoyed it. Ah, right, Sherlock, tell the members where we are.

04:01 Sherlock: Indoor theme park! Augh! *through gritted teeth* You little alien bastard! Get back here!

04:09 John: Sherlock is doing some whack-a-mole, ah, or they’re aliens in this place, not moles. Could be alien moles. Who knows. Ah, it’s an indoor theme park in *in a very exaggerated North London accent (genuinely he sounds like an ass here)* North London. That’s North London, sorry. Bit excited. Had about a kilogram of sugar. Haha, I’m looking at all sorts here. Arcade machines, carousels, basketball hoop game thingy, air hockey, bumper cars -dodge’ems, call’em what you will-, and an indoor roller coaster! Hahahaa! It’s wild stuff. Okay, let’s get to some questions over a casual game of air hockey.

04:40 *Audio Cut, sounds of air hockey being played*

04:41 Sherlock: Have that! *puck hit sound* And that!

04:44 John: ‘Have that and that’? What are you, a musketeer? Hahahaaaa! *sound of a puck entering the goal* First point Watson! Heyheyheeeey, ahhhh. And now for the first question. Uh, Tonkster aka Resetoaster asks, “To John and Sherlock, if you go to Subway -the fast food I should clarify- what do you usually order?”

05:03 Sherlock: *with exertion* You’re *sound of the puck being hit* distracting me! Ah!

05:06 John: Ah, you wouldn’t be saying that if you were winning.

05:07 Sherlock: I’m not winning *puck hit sound* precisely because of it.

05:11 John: Alright, fine. I’ll answer. Uh, I like the turkey club. Is that-Ow! That hit my finger. *hisses in pain*- I think there’s a turkey one. Um, I like that one on plain-ish bread. I don’t think their fancy breads are all that good. Uh, and then I’ll have a southwest sauce- Wham! Haha! *sound of puck entering goal*

05:23 Sherlock: Oh, bugger.

05:26 John: Subway order?

05:26 Sherlock: Never been.

05:27 John: Great.

05:27 *audio cuts. Sounds of automatic rifle fire going off*

05:29 John: Reloading. Cover me!

05:29 Sherlock: Covering.

05:30 John: Incoming at your two o’clock.

05:31 Sherlock: On it!

05:32 *sounds of two loud gunshots*

05:33 John: Yesss, Sherlock. Right, through the lobby. Okay, let’s see how this goes. Bellaxbear01 asks “If you guys want another pet, what animal would it be? Another dog, another cat, or maybe a fish?”

05:47 Sherlock: I like fish. *sound of gunshots* Very much. Reloading.

05:50 John: *pleased* Oh, hahah! I like fish too!

05:52 Sherlock: Really?

05:53 John: Yeah! Tropical?

05:54 Sherlock: Tropical or temperate.

05:56 John: Well that’s good to know. Yeah, worth maybe one day looking into that? Oo! Getting shot at here. Uh, Amelie5 asks “Do you have a favorite case you’ve solved so far?

06:05 *sounds of a big gun being fired*

06:07 Sherlock: A good question at bloody last. Die you bastards! *big boom*

06:12 John: Oh wowhaowhaooow! *sounds of I guess dirt falling, maybe bodies???* *with a smile in his voice* Oh, you made him blow up! Ha! Ahh, I know the feeling. Poor sod.

06:18 Sherlock: I rather enjoyed the Red Headed League.

06:22 John: Yep, that was a good’un. -Oh, duck down! That’s a machine gun.- Did you like the Red Headed League because of the case or because it proved me wrong about it being boring?

06:27 Sherlock: Mmm, both.

06:28 John: Great, well-oh I’m dead. *sound of man yelling, presumably John’s character dying in the game* Balls.

06:31 *audio cut. Ambient arcade sounds with something fizzing at the forefront*

06:34 John: What is that?

06:35 Sherlock: *struggling to speak* opp ing andy.

06:37 John: Opping Andy?

06:38 Sherlock: *still struggling to speak, but clearly annoyed* Op-opping. Andy.

06:41 John: Ohhhh, popping candy. Right. Well, RangerPip asks any specific reason you started smoking a pipe?

06:49 Sherlock: *unintellible gargling and consonant sounds*

06:54 John: Right, well, if you understood that RangerPip, well done you, haheh. *pause* *in a considering tone* Hunnh. He may or may not be choking.

07:03 *audio cut, loud music and bumper car sounds*

07:04 John: Ah!

07:04 Sherlock: Ahahaha!

07:05 John: Hahahah, left! Left! Left!

07:08 Both: Ah! *sound of impact*

07:09 John: Oh my god, my ribs! Argh, right! Let’s get up some more speed and smash into these kids-uh, I mean! These, um, big burly blokes.

07:17 Sherlock: Here we go.

07:20 John: Yesss, Sherlock, we are at some speed now, baby! Hahahah, right! Question from Raylein, “Does Archie get human food? And if he does, who feeds it to him?”

07:30 John: Ah yeah I do feed him, I-

07:30 Sherlock: Yes.

07:33 John: Wait.

07:34 Sherlock: What?

07:35 John: You’re feeding him as well?

07:36 Sherlock: I am, yes!

07:38 John: Well, that explains a lot. Uh, yeah Raylein, I don’t really like animal products going to waste so I just, um, I chuck him all sorts. Ope, here we go. Come here you little shits.

07:44 Sherlock: Ahhhhhhhh!

07:45 John: *sound of impact* Ah hahah!

07:48 *audio cut, it’s much quieter now, but they’re still at the arcade*

07:49 John: *remorsefully* I just didn’t think they’d cry and tell their mums is all.

07:51 Sherlock: That’s what children do. *accusingly* You told me to smash into them.

07:55 John: I did not say that.

07:57 Sherlock: Can I get the SD card out of your microphone and check?

08:00 John: No.

08:01 Sherlock: See.

08:02 John: Andrew says, “Question for Sherlock: Do you have any piercings? And, if you don’t, do you want any? And, if you do, which ones do you want?”

08:10 Sherlock: *sucks in a deep breath* Ear piercing. I haven’t used it for some time.

08:14 John: Why not?

08:15 Sherlock: Was that asked in the Discord?

08:17 John: What?

08:18 Sherlock: That. Just then. The ‘Why not?’

08:21 John: …No.

08:22 Sherlock: *takes a breath* Well then. I needn’t answer it. This is a time for members.

08:26 John: Right. Great. Lovely. Ok, MushPit says “Your deductive skills, was it talent you were born with or a skill that you developed and perfected over time?”

08:34 Sherlock: I assume MushPit is asking me, not you?

08:37 John: Ah ha ha, very funny.

08:40 Sherlock: My senses have always been, um-

08:43 John: Overcalibrated?

08:44 Sherlock: Yes, quite. Sooo, I’ve always observed a lot. When I found it difficult to tune out of my surroundings, I decided to analyze them. Then it became rather addictive. Yes, it became a skill, but I feel it much stronger then a skill. It feels like a byproduct of my very existence. I cannot unlearn it. IIII cannot wind it down or soften it. It occupies me as much as I do it. I fear that I cannot stop it. Even if it kills me. Even if it drains everything from me and I can never truly find it to know myself, to know my surroundings without the necessity…uh, no, the-the requisite to my very self. To t-try to understand everything-

09:33 John: The rollercoaster’s ready.

09:34 Sherlock: Oh.

09:35 John: Uh, we- we can finish if you want? Uh, y’know we can go on it later?

09:40 *audio cut, we can hear the roller coaster going and John and Sherlock on it. John keeps saying ‘Woohoo! Wheee!’ and Sherlock is saying joyfully ‘Bloody fantastic! Absolutely bloody fantastic!’ Both of them also keep laughing in between their exclamations*

09:48 *audio cut. We’re outside. London traffic can be heard.*

09:53 John: Oh that was good! Wasn’t it?

09:54 Sherlock: *pleased* Superb.

09:56 John: Not a bad idea, is it? A theme park, indoors? I mean we were a little old for it, but hey, y’know, there’s no age limit on enjoyment! Well, I mean you can’t go jumping into a soft play or anything like that, but yeah. Yeah. Now we are walking near Chalk Farm. Not actually a farm of chalk, of course. It’s just a nice place between Bellsides Park and the Northern end of Camden town. How’s that q and a session for you, mate?

10:16 Sherlock: Is that question on the Discord?

10:17 John: Right, ok. This is not a thing. You can still have normal chats with me inbetween members questions.

10:25 Sherlock: Noted.

10:26 John: Well it’s a question for me now anyway. Um, has your mother finally listened to the podcast? And if yes, what does she think of it? Uh, yes, has she listened? She has! She didn’t like the sound of my bomb. That makes two of us, there. Eheh. Uh, and she sent me further messages about Mariana. And! She will occasionally point out when I’ve been rude to people on the show. *clicks tongue* She also asked me if the Austrian man’s face was okay, so she has at least, definitely finished one adventure. And, no. His face is not. Ok. Mum. Uhh, so- hunh, this is weird.

10:59 Sherlock: What’s that?

11:01 John: Two questions here, next to each other. Uh, I-I’m not making this up. First one, Ramt or-or Ramtonk, “t-the flowers on my orchids are gone, but the plants themselves are thriving. Uhh, they’re watered as they should be and get optimal sunlight. Will the flowers ever come back?”

11:19 Sherlock: *pleasantly surprised* Hhha!

11:20 John: Right? Yeah and the second one from Batonks the Graveyard Ghost says, “Question for John, do you have any funny memories from your childhood that you’d like to share with us?”

11:30 Sherlock: Yes, that is quite remarkable.

11:32 John: Well! I’ll let the adventure of The Gloria Scott answer those questions! So, ah, everybody, thanks so much for these. I hope you enjoyed the answers. Sorry it’s been so short, but I’ve just noticed that that’s our bus!! We’re gonna miss it! Go! Go! Go!

11:46 Sherlock: *frustrated sigh* For goodness sake!

11:47-12:17 *Outro Music Plays*

#sherlock & co #sherlock and co #sherlock holmes #john watson #sherlock and john #transcript #transcripts #goalhanger podcasts #my transcript #sorry once again for the delay on this #i've got a lot of things I'm doing all at once lol

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restinslices · 15 days

Note

I found your twilight post with the Lin Kuei brothers amusing and relatable 🤣

Can you do headcannons on watching marvel movies with the reader? Captain America is my favorite character in the movies lol

The MCU is huge so lmk if there was something specific you wanted to know about

Bi-Han

I don’t see any of them watching a lot of movies so you definitely introduced it to him

He takes the longest time to finish the movies because it’s not on the top of his list when it comes to concerns

He’s one of those overly critical watchers so he’s annoying as fuck to watch movies with

I can see him liking Ultron

Why? I think he’d like the concept of Ultron and understand why he’s thinking the way he is

The type to agree with Thanos until someone points out he could’ve just doubled the resources

His favorite Phase is Phase 3 purely because Hela is his favorite character in the entire MCU

He’s legit upset she was killed off

I’d say which show is his favorite but I only watched Wandavision and TFATWS so moving on-

I don’t know if I see him reading the comics. Maybe if he’s curious enough

The Avengers and The Guardians of The Galaxy are pinned against each other a lot, but what does he think?

I think it changes a lot. Depends on his mood

One thing’s for sure; he prefers the OG Avengers

Not one of those Marvel fans that remembers everything and he doesn’t really stay up to date

Hasn’t even watched any of the shows yet

Please bring Hela back and stop pissing him off. She ain’t do nothing wrong

Quick afterthought

He’s Team Cap

He don’t even wanna listen to Liu Kang. Why the fuck would he agree with the government controlling The Avengers?

Kuai Liang

NOT one of the overly critical watchers so thank fuck

If he spots something that’s off, he’ll call it out but that’s as bad as it gets

He likes a mix of villains and heroes

If the villains got a point, then they got a point. That’s just how it is.

He likes villains that can become better people. The pure evils ones he’s like “yeah you suck” but villains that are actually victims or who have done certain things but try to become better, he likes

Because of that I’d say his favorite villain is The Winter Soldier

He’s done terrible things but Kuai Liang feels pity for him and enjoys his story

I think either Avengers or Civil War is his favorite movie

He prefers the og era of the MCU and I think the Avengers as a whole reminds him of his family (petty as fuck towards each other but there’s ultimately love there) and Civil War was a banger

A situation where there’s technically not a right side is a topic I can see him liking

With that being said, he is both Team Cap and Team Ironman

Since he follows Liu Kang I can see him being like “sometimes teams need to be reined in and need someone to follow”

But in the same breath this is the same government that is corrupt and has proven themselves as not trustworthy

And people could always die before the heroes are able to help

Then there’s Bucky and he once again understands why Steve wouldn’t tell but he also understands Tony’s anger

He stays somewhat up to date when it comes to the new movies and shows

He knows when they come out but he doesn’t see them right away

Tomas

I can see him staying up to date and seeing the movies whenever he could

Has possibly read some comics too?

Prefers Heroes

Do I wanna say his favorite character is Spider-Man because the PS5 Spider-Man voices Tomas?

Yes

So that’s what imma do

Does he have a favorite Spider-Man?

I’m not sure. I can see him seeing the positives and negatives of all the Spidermen

Team Cap for the accords

Team Ironman for the Bucky situation

His parents were killed so are we surprised? No

The type to see the positives of Phase 4 instead of just saying it’s shit

Is it the best? No. But it’s not all ass. Damn.

He prefers the Guardians so when Gamora was killed, his heart was in SHAMBLES

“Maybe Gamora and Peter can fall in love again”

I have bad news

Favorite Phase is always changing. Each Phase has bangers and non bangers so it changes day to day

I know I said he loved all the Spidermen but his favorite movie is probably a Tobey Maguire Spider-Man movie

Do not tell him the Avengers are more like coworkers than family. Do not fuck up his day

He likes found family movies so he enjoys the movies that focus on the groups

#mk1 #mk1 2023 #mortal kombat 1 #bi han sub zero #bi han #kuai liang scorpion #kuai liang #tomas vrbada smoke #kuai liang mk1 #kuai liang headcanons #bi han headcanons #tomas vrbada headcanons #kuai liang x reader #bi han x reader #tomas vrbada x reader #tomas vrbada #mk1 headcanons

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ficsforeren · 1 year

Text

Our Little Secret - Chapter 6 (End)

Series Masterlist

Pairing: Eren Jaeger X Female Reader

Genre: College AU, Spider-Man/Spider-Girl AU, Fluff, Slow Burn, Mutual Pining, Eventual Smut

Series Summary: Eren Jaeger, a 21-year-old virgin college student who loves his camera a little bit too much, has a crush on you. Every night, he switches on his camera and talks about you but he never could find the courage to speak to you in real life. Strangely enough, he finds it easy for him to befriend Spider-Girl, the crime fighting vigilante, not knowing that you both share the same identity.

Chapter Summary: Eren still can't believe that he just went on a date with the most popular girl in school and kissed the hottest superheroine in town all in one night. He tells himself that he has to make a decision—to choose between you and Spider-Girl, not knowing that you two are the same person. Well, maybe it's time for you to reveal your little secret.

Content Warnings: swearing, mentions of characters going through depression, traumatic past events, a little bit of smut near the end (not too explicit)

Word Count: 16k

Poster art by the most talented @rainbuniart on Twitter

Armin Arlert loves Eren Jaeger. He does. He really does, like in a platonic-but-can-also-be-qualified-as-super-gay-way-sometimes.

He adores him. Might even name his fictional son after him in the future, who knows? He thinks Eren is the best friend he could ever ask for. Armin wouldn’t put his life on the line to save him, true, (‘cause as much as he loves the guy, that bitch can die on his own since it will probably be because of his damn fault anyway), but he would definitely sacrifice his most precious body pillow if Eren’s life depends on it and that’s saying something. Actually, hold up. Let’s not make any hasty decisions here. It’s a special, limited edition dakimakura with his fictional wife printed on it while wearing a slutty maid outfit. He ain’t gonna throw those glorious 2D titties just for Eren’s lousy ass.

Though his actions may speak otherwise, Armin does care about him. More than he has ever cared about anyone else, really. Even on those days back in high school when he was a bit… bicurious, Armin had imagined himself—more than once (or ten)—being with Eren and how hot it would be if he had Eren all tied up on his bed with his body shrouded by wet tentacles that were stimulating each of his sensitive spots. He knew it was weird to imagine his best friend begging him with tears in his eyes, saying lewd things like “Please, Master Arlert, please give me your thick, hard cock and fill me up with your seeds. I want you to breed me like a fucking whore,” but Armin was an eighteen-year-old virgin with a raging sexual desire, okay? Can you really blame him? (yes, please blame him, he's insane).

It didn’t help that Eren looked so pretty with his hair down either, especially when he was sitting half-naked on Armin’s bedroom floor during those hot summer days with a popsicle stuck inside his mouth, making questionable groaning and sucking noises as he jammed his thumbs against his X-Box controller. It also didn’t help that Armin had watched too much hentai in his spare time but at least, he was proud of it. Eren watched tentacles porn too—and enjoyed it—but he would always pretend he didn’t and say that he preferred lesbian porn just so he could “fit in” and “be normal” or whatever. Fucking coward.

We’re getting sidetracked but the point is, Armin loves Eren to the moon and back, but sometimes, sometimes, he just wants to break all 206 bones in his body, squeeze him into a pulp and flush him down the toilet. And by sometimes, he means now.

“Armin!” He can hear the sounds of small rocks hitting his window, followed by Eren’s husky voice calling his name in a mix between a shout and a whisper. “Armin! Dude, wake up!”

Armin only has one eye opened, glowering at the digital clock on his desk that shows it’s two in the fucking morning. His parents might be heavy sleepers—the government has to drop a nuclear bomb for them to wake up—but Armin needs complete silence to be able to wane into his dreamland (which would be the only place for him to be embraced by his fox-eared waifu). He tries to ignore the asshole standing outside his window, but that so-called green-eyed butthole is as stubborn as he is relentless.

Gathering a handful of pebbles, Eren throws them one by one, continuously hissing Armin’s name like a demonic cat. With each stone hitting his window, Armin transforms even further into a seething monster. By the sixteenth pebble Eren throws, the blonde-haired boy pushes himself off the bed, grabs the baseball bat he hides inside his closet—which he bought not for sport, but for this very reason—and stomps his way to the front door.

“Armin!” Eren rejoices when he sees his best friend walking past his lawn, moving toward him. “Oh, thank God, you’re awake! I need to talk to you—WAIT, WAIT, WAIT, WHAT ARE YOU PLANNING TO DO WITH THAT BAT?!”

“I’M GONNA FUCKING KILL YOU, JAEGER!”

It’s always like this with them—Eren annoying the shit out of him and Armin trying to kill him two or three times in a row—but it would all end well, not with laughter, but with a massive bump on Eren’s head that may or may not be big enough to trigger permanent brain damage. But then again, Eren is already an idiot. He’s probably maxed out at this point.

“One of these days, Arlert,” Eren groans in pain, rubbing the back of his skull as he wills his tears to stop brimming in his eyes. “I’m gonna file a restraining order on you.”

“That’s my line, you nincompoop.”

“I don’t know what nincompoop means but that doesn't sound pretty.”

The two boys sit on the little stairs that lead to Armin’s porch (five feet apart ‘cause they’re not gay). Armin still has his baseball bat between his legs, his golden hair all tousled from his one-hour sleep. Eren, who’s usually attentive to another person’s well-being, is too excited to pay attention to the bags forming under his eyes. Playfully bumping his shoulder against Armin’s, he asks him, “Dude, guess who just had his first kiss tonight?”

“Why do we strive for perfection if it is not attainable?” Armin says, dramatically sighing into the night. “What is the meaning of a good life? Is there a meaning in life itself? Are we human or are we dancers?”

Eren, now confused, has his smile wavering. “The hell are you talking about?”

“Oh, I thought we were just throwing out random questions.”

“That last one wasn’t even a question. That was `Are We Human’ by The Killers.”

“Yes and they were asking us whether we are human or dancers when they should have been asking: why can’t we be both?”

“It’s me,” Eren replies flatly. “I just had my first kiss.”

“Oh, wow, congratulations. I did not see that coming at all.” There’s no mirth or enthusiasm on Armin's face. He's just clapping his hands as he keeps his voice monotone. “Your lips aren’t a virgin anymore. Make sure they don’t turn into a whore.”

Eren, well-accustomed to his sarcasm, remains unfazed, continuously acting like the love-struck puppy that he is. “Aren’t you gonna ask me how it felt like?” He wiggles his eyebrows, showcasing a cheeky grin. “I’ll give you a clue. The word starts with an A and ends with a G.”

“Anal Rimming?”

Eren sends him a flat stare. “It’s amazing.”

“Sure, if you say so. I mean, I’ve never done anal or rimming before so I wouldn’t know, but hey, if it’s amazing then good for you, buddy.”

“I meant the kiss, Armin!”

This attitude Armin is throwing at him is his way of saying dude, I love you but I’m so fucking pissed at you right now, and Eren understands how much he’s being selfish for taking Armin’s precious sleeping time. He knows and he apologizes for it. But if he doesn’t tell Armin about the kiss—about how he’s both overjoyed and conflicted by it—he’s sure as hell he’s going to lose his mind.

Armin, despite how snarky he is, can only exhale exaggeratedly in defeat once Eren puts his best-kicked puppy look on display. “Fine, you twat. Spill.”

And with his permission, Eren’s words come rushing in like a bullet train. “Dude, it was insane.” Whenever he thinks about the kiss, the first thing Eren feels is joy. The kind of joy that is so fierce, it leaves him burned and paralyzed by it. “I’ve been imagining what my first kiss was gonna be like since forever but even the sweetest dream wouldn’t be able to compare to how amazing it was.”

Armin can see it—that glow on his face. It’s the first time he’s ever witnessed his best friend being this happy. It's disgusting. “You sound like that sappy Aerosmith song.”

“And to think that I was having my first kiss upside down!”

“Wait, what?” Armin finally shows a reaction, his eyebrows adjoined in the middle. “Upside-down?”

“Yeah, she was hanging upside down.”

“Hanging? How—why—” You know that Jackie Chan meme? The one with him looking all confused? Yeah, that’s Armin right now. “Where were you? In her room?”

“Umm… no. We were outside.”

“In public?”

“Yeah, but no one was around. Oh wait, there were like three guys around us but they were unconscious.”

The more he explains, the more perplexed Armin becomes. “Why were they—no, who were they?”

“Just some dudes wanting to steal my camera.” Eren turns sheepish, his index finger scratching his cheek at the memory of you fighting so gracefully under the rain, almost like dancing. The words he says don’t match his expression at all. “They had, like, a knife against my throat. It was really scary.”

“Oh yeah, I can tell, ‘cause you’re blushing so hard right now.” At this rate, being sarcastic is the only way for Armin to keep himself sane.

Eren, to Armin’s horror, giggles. “I remember the way she came by. It was so dramatic. She beat their asses to save my life like bam, kapoww, kapoww!”

Almost getting hit by Eren’s lame attempt at re-enacting your punches, Armin cringed, “Please stop.”

“We kinda flirted a little bit after that and I just, you know…” Eren has really turned into a thirteen-year-old girl at this point. “I kissed her. She was hanging upside down. There was rain pouring above our heads and we were, like, smiling into the kiss. It was so romantic.”

Fuck Jackie Chan. That meme needs to be reinvented using Armin’s face now. He’s more confused than any Chinese man could ever be. “Hold up, you fucker.” He pushes his eyeglasses up his nose, a pair of sapphire eyes scrutinizing Eren's face as if he could find the answer if he looks hard enough. “How and why was she hanging upside down?”

“Well, she was about to swing away when I stopped her and so she was hanging onto her web and—”

“Her web?” This dude makes absolutely no fucking sense! Armin is now picturing you (not Spider-Girl. You.) in your preppy girl outfit hanging upside down on a tree like a fucking monkey, exchanging tongues and saliva with an actual monkey who was twice your size. The result? Absolutely ludicrous. “Dude, what kind of kinky shit are you guys into?!”

And it’s only then that Eren remembers something. “Oh, no, you’re getting the wrong idea. I wasn’t talking about her. I kissed a different girl.”

“You kissed a diff—” Armin stops himself before he explodes. Taking a deep breath, exhaling with his eyes closed, he mutters under his voice, “Lord, give me strength.” When he blinks open his eyes again, Armin seems much calmer, although his grip around his baseball bat is tightening twice as hard. His fingers are just itching to smack the shit out of his best friend. Again.

Eren, scared for his life, has both hands in the air. “Calm down, Min.”

“I’m calm, I’m calm.” But he takes another deep breath just in case. Armin smiles—that kind of deadly smile that doesn’t reach his eyes—when he asks, “Let’s start from the beginning. You went on a date with Miss Popular.”

“Yes, Sir.”

“But you didn’t kiss her and instead you kissed someone else.”

Now that Armin phrases it like that, that feeling of remorse that Eren felt an hour ago comes back rushing in. Eren still loathes himself for kissing another girl right after his date with you ended but the thing is, it felt right. It felt like it was something he had been wishing to happen for years. He had spent all this time imagining what it would be like to share a chaste kiss under the rain with you—the college version of you. But when the moment was there, he couldn’t do it. It didn’t feel right. He felt guilt at that time, knowing that Spider-Girl kept showing up in his head when he was supposed to be thinking about you. But he didn't feel any of that when he shared those kisses with that alter ego of yours. He just felt joy. It felt amazing. It felt right.

But with Armin confronting him about it, he returns to the dilemma he was drowning himself in a few hours ago. The time when he realized that he was in love with Spider-Girl instead of you.

“Yeah,” Eren admits in shame, casting his gaze downward. “I kissed someone else.”

Armin fixes his glasses again, just so he’d have something to do instead of looking flabbergasted at the revelation. “And who did you kiss?”

“Umm… Spider-Girl.”

Armin looks at him and Eren looks back. Three seconds pass by in silence and then—

“AW!” Eren shouts in reflex, not caring if it’s two-thirty in the morning, right after Armin smacked him with the end of his baseball bat. “Dude, stop doing that! It hurts!”

“You’re fucking with me,” Armin says, hitting him repetitively on his side. “You’re absolutely fucking with me right now. Can’t believe I woke up to listen to you spouting bullshit!”

“I’m not bullshitting you!” Eren winces, trying to dodge his next attack.

“You’re saying you kissed one of the town's hottest superheroines? The same girl who took down the Lizard—no, the same girl who looks smoking hot in that white spandex—you kissed that girl?”

“Yes! Fuck—Stop hitting me!” Eren, at some point, manages to snatch away the bat from Armin’s grip. His body feels sore all over, even more than when he fought those men in the alley. “Yes, Armin, I kissed her.”

“Yeah,” Armin snorts. “And I just had some raunchy sex in the barn with Green Goblin. Expect his babies to pop out of my ass in nine months.”

The brunette rolls his eyes. “Look, Spider-Girl and I have been friends for weeks now. Here.” Eren retrieves his phone from his pocket, going through his gallery before he shows the selfie he took with you in your costume on the night you shared stories on the rooftop of St. Mark’s theater. You were both so close to each other, shoulders nearly squeezed together as you tried to fit your faces inside the frame. Eren had the biggest, gleeful grin, his skin seemingly tanner than usual next to your white mask and hoodie. Armin examines the picture with suspicious eyes, his gaze shifting back and forth from his friend’s face to his phone.

“Hmm, very convincing,” Armin comments. “Not sure where you found the skill to photoshop this shit so fast when it took you a week to choose a fucking filter for your Twitter PFP but okay. Assume that I believe you—I don’t,” he emphasizes. “But for the sake of our conversation, let’s just assume I do."

"Fine."

"So you kissed her.”

“Yeah.”

“Upside down in the rain?”

“Mm-hmm.”

“And how was it?”

“It was…” Eren’s cheeks sizzle at the memory. “They were… soft. Her lips, I mean. They were so soft and they tasted… sweet.”

Armin’s expression turns from suspicious to I’m-tired-of-your-shit-Jaeger in 0.2 seconds. “I was thinking more like it was bad because I’m sure she had rain clogging up her nose, ‘cause that would’ve sounded more realistic, but sure, let’s be corny.”

“Wait,” Eren blanches. “Do you think she was uncomfortable?” It’s stupid that he only realizes this now, but then again, what else is new?

“Yeah, well,” Armin shrugs. “Hanging upside down certainly didn’t seem like it was the best position to make out in, 'cause you have blood rushing to your head and all. And since it was raining, she definitely had water getting up her nose.”

“Oh my God,” Eren utters in horror, his hands going to his head. “Why didn’t I think about that?”

“Probably cause you were too busy sticking your tongue down her throat.”

Eren has no consistency in managing his emotions because at one point he was panicking, and now, he’s back to giggling like a schoolgirl. “Yeah, we used tongue a few times. It was so exciting.”

“Give me back my bat. I’m gonna kill myself with it.”

But jokes aside, the question remains. How could Eren, who has zero games in dating as far as Armin knows, kiss another girl—and not just another girl, Spider-Girl—right after he went on a date with one of his campus’ most popular girls? Even the sentence sounds bizarre and he hasn’t spoken them out loud. Most importantly, though, why? Why did Eren do it? “I thought you were in love with her,” Armin says. “Miss Popular, I mean. You spent the entire summer jerking off to that one picture of her wearing that short skirt and now you’re saying you like some other girl whose face you don’t even know?”

“Did you have to phrase it like that?” Eren mumbles in shame though he can’t deny the fact that he did spend—well, not the entire summer, the entire two weeks, probably—masturbating to the thoughts of you. It wasn’t the proudest moment in his life, but in his defense, that skirt you wore looked super cute on you. “I know, I fucked up,” he sighs, rubbing a hand over his face. “I’m the worst.”

“How did this even happen?”

Eren tells him everything, and the more details he reveals, the harder he drowns in his guilt. He feels like he just betrayed and disrespected you—both you and Spider-Girl and it hurts him terribly because he still can’t decide between the two of you. He’s so conflicted he feels like he’s about to vomit his insides.

“It’s so weird, you know?” Eren says. “At the end of the date, I was sure she wanted me to kiss her. I mean, like, the moment was there. We both felt it, and I wanted to do it but I… I kept thinking about Spider-Girl and it just felt… wrong. I didn’t want our first kiss to go that way—me kissing a girl while thinking about another girl. It wouldn’t be fair to her.”

“Should’ve just kissed her, in my opinion,” Armin counters. “If you had done it, it would’ve been easier for you to make sure of your feelings now.”

“But that would’ve made me the biggest asshole in the world.”

“You are the biggest asshole in the world. But yeah, probably. Did it feel right when you kissed Spider-Girl?”

Though the remorse on Eren’s face still stands vividly, some of it morphs into delight at the memory. “Yes, it was,” he admits. “It felt like… something I should’ve done weeks ago, you know? Like, why didn’t I realize sooner that I’m in love with her kind of feeling. And I keep thinking about everything—about my feelings toward Spider-Girl and my feelings toward her and it’s stressing me out. Do you think a man can be in love with two girls at the same time?”

“You’re talking to a guy who has, like, seven different waifus. Of course, you can,” Armin snorts. “The problem is, unlike my wives who don’t know I exist, you have to choose. Unless you want to continue being a gigantic fucking asshole for the rest of your life, you need to decide who you want to be with.”

“I know...” Eren starts chewing on the inside of his cheek. It feels like he has a storm raging inside him. “I think I’m in love with Spider-Girl because I feel like… I know her better. I mean, I’ve been spending more time with her, so she feels more like a person to me. More… You know, real.”

Armin nods. “But when you went on a date with Miss Popular, did you enjoy it?”

“I did.” His answer is immediate. “More than I expected I would. She was so nice and funny and she… She gave me a scarf ‘cause she thought I was cold. She was so caring. She was great.”

“What if her personality is just as attractive as Spider-Girl’s then?” Armin provides a new perspective—a genuinely good one, which is rare considering how big of a pervert he is. “I feel like you just need some time to get to know her better.”

“Yeah, but how can I do that if I keep thinking about Spider-Girl? What if every time I see her, all I do is compare her traits to hers? It’s not fair.”

“Okay, let me ask you this,” Armin sighs loudly into the air. “Can you really see yourself dating a superhero? You don’t even know her real identity or what she looks like. What if she’s ugly?”

“I don’t care how she looks.” Determination stands thick in Eren’s voice. “It’s her—” He clears his throat, his face turning scarlet. “I-it’s her heart that I love.”

“Oh my God, I’m gonna throw up on you.”

“I mean like her mannerisms!” Eren hastily adds when Armin threatens to jam a finger inside his own mouth. “Her attitudes, the way she talks, the way she thinks, and the stuff we talk about—that’s what I care about the most. She’s my best friend.”

“Excuse me?” Armin repeats, offended, picking up his weapon.

“A-after you, of course.”

“That’s right, bitch.” He drops his baseball bat back to the ground. “Okay, fine, you don’t care if she’s ugly. Not my problem. But does she like you?”

“I think so? I mean, she kept asking me to kiss her again. You don’t do something like that with someone you don’t like, right?”

“Yeah, well, strangers fuck at nightclubs all the time. I won’t think too much over a kiss.”

The pretty shade of red that paints Eren’s face turns pale by the second. “You don’t think she likes me?”

“I do, but is it enough for her to want to date you?” Armin lands a hand on the other man’s shoulder, giving him his best sympathetic look. “I wouldn’t be so sure, man. Look, I’m not trying to sound like a douchebag for crushing your R-rated dream so early like this but you’re my friend and you need a reality check so here it goes. She’s a superhero. Okay? She’s busy. She doesn’t have time to play tonsil hockey with nerds like us. Plus, if she cares about you then maybe she won’t date you ‘cause you’ve seen what happened to Mary Jane, right? That chick got taken hostage at least once a week these days, ’cause of what?”

“Umm… Cause she’s dating Peter Parker?”

“That’s absolutely right, you nincompoop.”

“Like I said, I don’t know what nincompoop means.”

“At this point, MJ doesn’t even scream anymore when she has a gun pointed at her head. She’s just like—” Armin pretends he has his smartphone between his hands, his thumbs moving to type something. He keeps his face blank and his voice monotone, talking in an exaggerated New York accent. “‘Oh no, please, don’t hurt me, I’m scareeeed. Hashtag SpideyDrama, hashtag Spidey-MJLoveStory. Take a cute selfie with my kidnapper—” He pretends to take a picture, puckering his lips while forming a peace sign with his two fingers. “—aaaand post.’”

Under different circumstances, Eren would have laughed. Armin’s impression of her was spot on. “Yeah, but that’s because everyone knows that Peter is Spider-Man. No one knows who Spider-Girl is.”

“Yes, but if you keep making out with her in public, they’ll know about you, and then what? You want to start doing your own TikTok trend? Hashtag PrayforErenJaegerTheNewDamselinDistress?” Eren parts his lips to answer but he’s stopped by two hands squeezing him by the shoulders. “Look. Just give Miss Popular another try, okay? It’s easier to be with her than being with Miss Vigilante, I promise you. Plus, Spider-Girl knows how you feel about her, right? Don’t you think it would make you sound like a player if you talked like a lovesick fool about another girl, but then you confessed to her three days later?”

Again, it’s absolutely ridiculous that Eren just realized this now. “You’re right,” he utters in horror. “Holy shit, you’re right.”

“Of course, I am.” Armin scoffs, tossing back his imaginary long hair over his shoulder. “Forget about Spider-Girl for now. Give it a week or two to sort out your feelings. Or focus on something else, like jerk off to your favorite tentacle porn or something. If you still feel like you can’t move on from her then, we’ll go to Plan B.”

“W-what is that?”

Armin retrieves his bat. “Me, beating the shit out of you until you suffer from a massive concussion and forget about this whole thing.”

“Yeah, why don’t we just stick to Plan A for now, thanks. But no tentacle porn.”

"Pfft, whatever, your loss."

***

You have never—never—felt like you were floating in the clouds after sharing a kiss with a boy, and yet there you are, climbing through your window with the biggest dopey smile on your face. You take off your mask, throwing yourself on your bed with the longest, most blissful, content sigh you’ve ever heaved in your life.

You have two fingers tracing over the seam of your lips, your skin somehow still tingles whenever the memory of that kiss resurfaces. The sweet, pleasant taste of his mouth still lingers near. The soft texture of his lips is the best thing you’ve ever felt against your own.

“Eren…” His name drifts past your lips and you find yourself giggling, turning over to your stomach before you let out a high-pitched scream against your pillow. It felt like a first love’s kiss and perhaps it was since he is your first love, isn’t he? You haven’t been able to stop thinking about him. Every cell in your body seems to scream I love him, I love him, I love him every time his smile appears behind your closed lids. It feels like you’re thirteen again, just a lovesick girl whose fingers are itching to pour every emotion you felt into your journal.

Dear diary, I’m in love.

You didn’t think your first kiss with him would be like that, but it was ten times better. No, a million times better, even if you did have rain clogging up your nose at some point. Eren was so… passionate, you think to yourself as you feel your stomach flipping at the memory of his lips melding against yours. You may be a virgin, but unlike him, you have experienced many first kisses before and none of them was this memorable. None of them managed to awaken the butterflies in your stomach as his kisses did. And none of those boys tasted as good as he was.

“I am down so bad,” you sigh as you hug your pillow close to your chest, a dreamy smile sketched upon your lips. I can’t wait for tomorrow to come. I want to see him. I want to be with him again.

With that thought in mind, you begin to create your diabolical plan to reveal your true identity to him. As cute as he was looking all conflicted from falling in love with both you and Spider-Girl, you decide not to torture him even longer. It’s unbelievable, the amount of elation you felt the moment you realized that he’s fallen for Spider-Girl. It’s clear proof that he wasn’t just attracted to your looks, but your personality too. It puts you at ease, knowing that he keeps catching feelings no matter what persona you’re putting in front of him. He fell for you when you were just an innocent little girl who couldn’t do anything but fangirl over Wonder Woman all day. He fell for you when he saw you stepping onto the podium to accept your science medal, blinding everyone with your perfect smile. And he fell for Spider-Girl, your alter ego that embodied your true personality.

I wonder how you would react when you find out that I’m all those three?

“Maybe I should step up my game,” you mumble to yourself. “Maybe I should be a little…”

The corners of your mouth curve up. Your smirk is just straight-up evil at this point. Hell, even Norman Osborn didn’t look this wicked when he turned into Green Goblin.

“Aggressive.”

***

When Eren told his brother, Zeke Jaeger, that he wanted to borrow his motorcycle to pick up a girl this morning, his brother was on the floor. Literally on the floor.

Zeke was skeptical at first, snorting loudly as he muttered, “Pfft. As if you could get a girl to notice you. Bet my ass you’re just being delusional.” But then Eren, heaving the biggest sigh, raised his phone in the air, flashed his wallpaper—that one picture you took on your date with you smiling as you kissed his cheek—on his brother’s face and Zeke collapsed to his knees.

“Oh my God.” Zeke landed both palms on the parquet, eyes shaking in horror. “Oh my fucking God.”

Eren, who was accustomed to his brother’s dramatic antics, simply shrugged when his aunt Dina looked at them funny. “He’s having a moment,” he explained and Dina just returned to her cooking, not wanting to deal with any of that.

It usually took Zeke a while to get back on his feet—literally—when he was having an episode like that. Eren simply waited with his back leaning against the wall, checking his watch with boredom written in his eyes. “Try and make it quick. I got a date.”

“I can’t believe you found yourself a girl before me,” Zeke sobbed. “I thought it was Armin dressing up as a girl again—"

“We’re over that phase now.”

“—but no, she’s actually a cute fucking chick. Probably has massive badonkers too.”

“Please don’t say that.” Great, now I can’t stop thinking about it too, Eren adds inwardly, face flushed. What if she… does have massive badonkers—I mean, tits—I mean, breasts. He shakes his head. Eren, you idiot. Who cares if she has huge boobs or not. Flat, or huge, those are still great tits—no, stop thinking about her tits!

“Fuck, what if it’s true?” Zeke looked up to his brother from below, like a tortured servant to his sadistic master. “What if she’s packing some dobonhonkeros? Like, massive dohoonkabhankoloos, ya know what I mean? Big old tonhongerekoogers—”

“Language, Zeke,” Dina chimes in from the kitchen. “I don’t understand what you’re saying but I know they’re filthy words so stop it.”

Eren, in the meantime, is conflicted between not thinking about your breasts or smacking the shit out of his brother. “You’re being disrespectful, stop it.”

“GOD, I WANT A GIRLFRIEND—”

“JUST GIVE ME THE GODDAMN KEYS!”

Zeke, almost with tears painting his eyes, handed them over to him. “Once you’re finished with it, do me a favor and just run me over. I don’t have the dignity to keep on living anymore.”

“Will do,” Eren said—promised—as he threw a black leather jacket on top of his white shirt. “I’ll be back in two hours,” he informed his aunt. “We’re just gonna study in my room after that.”

“Studying each other’s bodies?” Zeke uttered with jealousy coating his tongue. “Gross.”

“Statistics, actually.” Eren planted a small peck on Dina's cheek. “See you, Aunt Dina.”

“Bye, love,” Dina chuckled, seemingly proud that her nephew—one that she regarded as her own child, unlike the other one—was old enough to bring a pretty girl home with him. “Make sure to bring her something. Us girls love gifts.”

“Okay.”

“And buy some condoms on your way home.”

Eren nearly tripped over his feet. “I-it’s not like that!”

Zeke was lying flat on the floor at this point, like a stabbed victim on a crime scene, only in his case, the knife was invisible and he was bleeding tears from his eyes. “When can I get myself some bonkhonagahoogs…”

“Please kick him out before I get home,” Eren said.

“Trust me, darling,” Dina sighed. “I've been trying to do that since day one.”

“Guys, I’m literally right here.”

“Shut up, Zeke.”

***

Eren is just as jittery as he was during his first date with you, only this time, it’s ten times worse as he keeps thinking about Spider-Girl no matter how much he tries not to. The guilt he felt over the kiss sticks permanently in his mind, and it feels like he just committed adultery with a church elder or something when he isn’t even in a relationship with you—any version of you. But even so, he tries to stick close to his plan. He has promised to spend some time studying for finals with you, and he intends to give his full attention to you and no one else. Since he’d brought you a bouquet yesterday, he decided to buy you homemade chocolate truffles from this cute candy store downtown, one that Dina claimed to be the best one in the world.

He arrives two hours early at your ballet studio, feeling so nervous to see you again that he feels like the whole world is spinning too fast before him. He’s waiting outside in the parking lot, leaning against Zeke’s all-black Royal Enfield Classic 350 with his phone in one hand and his head on the clouds.

What am I going to say to her? Can I even act normally around her? What if she—

“Eren.”

“Fuck!” The boy jumps on his feet, almost losing his grip on his phone from how startled he is. He spins his head around to the side, spotting you standing close with your gym bag slinging on one shoulder. His shock-filled eyes quickly traverse down your body, taking in the sight of you dressed casually in your fitted black tank top and white track jacket. “W-why are you not wearing your tutus?”

Out of all the things he could’ve said, of course, that’s the first thing that comes out of his mouth. “Because I’m still outside and my practice isn’t going to start for another ten minutes?” You reply with a hint of teasing in your voice. “You look handsome today, by the way. I always think you look hotter wearing a leather jacket instead of a hoodie. Not that I don’t like it, though. Hoodies make you look cute.”

This is an ambush, Eren thinks. You, casually throwing your compliment at him as if it’s nothing, feel like a fucking ambush to him. “I—Umm—You look—You look cute too.”

“Thank you,” you titter. “I can’t believe you arrived here before me.”

“Oh... Y-yeah.” It suddenly feels like it’s twenty degrees hotter for him. “I guess I was a little early.”

“As always,” you toss him a smile—the one that has the perfect amount of beauty and shyness that makes his heart swell in his chest. “You’re not planning to wait out here for two hours, are you?” When Eren has no answer to give, you chuckle. “Gosh, you are too cute. Come here.”

“Huh?”

“You can wait inside.” It’s so natural the way you tangle your hand around his even when you can feel your own heart palpitating. “It’s warmer there.”

Eren, with his cheeks turning scarlet, follows after you. “Is—is it really okay?”

“Well, no. Usually, we don’t allow strangers to watch our rehearsals.”

“Then, why—”

“Relax, Ren.” You hurl a wink at him. “Petra—my instructor—is a close friend of my mother. I’ll just tell her you’re my boyfriend and she’ll make an exception for me.”

Three things left him dumbfounded. The first one is clearly the fact that you just called him your boyfriend. Second, it’s that naughty, naughty wink you threw at him, one that matches your cute little devilish grin. But none of those were as surprising as the way you called him with that nickname.

Ren.

You’ve never called him that before, have you? But Spider-Girl called him Ren all the time, which is why to his ears, it sounds so familiar. The way you said it. The way your voice sounded when you did. Even if his mind tries to deny it, his heart still pounds. It feels so strange for this to just be a coincidence but you don’t give him a chance to think about it long.

“I’m gonna go change into my tutus, okay?” You tease him once you enter the studio, chuckling at your own words. “You can sit at the back. Try not to stare at the other girls as you wait.”

He knows he’s dumb but today he just feels ten times dumber and it shows. “W-why not?”

“Well, obviously, because you’re pretending to be my boyfriend today.” You reach out a hand to fix the collar of his jacket, watching him flinch at the way your fingers brush against his collarbone. “And also…” You look up at him, turning your voice into a breathy whisper as you feign a pout. “I don’t like seeing you look at other girls. I want you to look at me.” You take a hold of his key-shaped pendant, twisting your fingers around his necklace. “Only me.”

Fuck, fuck, fuck. If there was steam coming out of his ears, Eren wouldn’t be surprised. He does feel like his face is about to explode. “I-I’ve only been looking at you.”

“You sure?” Your tongue peeks out to wet your lower lip and Eren swallows at the sight. “You seemed so… distracted last night. You weren't thinking about some other girl, were you?”

He’s staring at your lips. He’s definitely staring at your lips. Oh my God, her lips. “I—I didn't—I wasn’t—” He’s panicking. He’s already having a hard time trying to stay alive from your attack. You really didn’t need to bring back Spider-Girl into his head, but you did and that’s why you fit more as a supervillain instead of a hero.

Eren can practically taste the minty scent of your breath from how close you are when you grin at him. “I’m kidding,” you giggle, patting his cheek and giving him back his space. “You look like you’re about to pass out. You okay over there, big boy?”

“Yeah…” Just feeling like I’m having a cardiac arrest but I’m fine. “Good luck with your dancing—your practice. Break an arm.”

God, he’s an idiot, I love him. Refraining yourself from laughing, you stand on your toes and grant him a soft kiss on his cheek. “It’s break a leg, dummy,” you whisper in his ear, your smirk brushing against his earlobe. His face is practically in flames when you turn on your heels, tossing him one last smile before you disappear inside the changing room.

The rehearsal starts on time and there you are, walking back into the studio dressed in pink seamed ballet tights, a black halter-neck leotard, and a pair of beige pointe shoes. Your outfit, the way the fabric hugs your body tightly, leaves no room for his imagination to wander. It’s so unfair that you look both adorable and effortlessly sexy at the same time. Eren doesn’t know whether he wants to say, “You’re so cute, I want to squeeze your cheeks!” or “You’re so hot, I wanna clap those cheeks.” He wants to do both, honestly, but he’ll need to rephrase that last line if he wants to be, ehem, respectful.

He can see your back muscles contracting as you perform, your skin glistening under the light, coated by a thin layer of sweat that somehow only makes you look more erotic. He hates the way his mind thinks, so he tries to focus on your movements instead. Every posture you strike is as graceful as it is beautiful and Eren has to remind himself to blink before his eyes fall out of his sockets from staring too long.

You try to concentrate as much as you can on the instructions Petra gives you but every time you see your reflection in the mirror, you also notice the way his eyes are entranced with every gesture you make. He’s staring at you like you’re the only girl in the room—the only girl in the world, even. As much as it pleases you to be the center of his attention, it’s also harder for you to focus on your steps. You just can’t wait for your practice to end.

Eren is so captivated by everything you do, and if he had brought his camera with him, he would’ve taken every bit of your expression. He wishes he could record everything. The way your body moves… Even the slightest lift of your finger is fascinating to him. At this moment, all thoughts about Spider-Girl vanish away from his mind. It feels like he’s falling for you all over again, his heart throbbing like on that day when he saw you on campus for the first time. You’re so pretty. So, so pretty that you leave him breathless.

“Hey,” you greet him again once your rehearsal has ended. “Sorry you had to wait long.” You’re dabbing a towel against the side of your face, gathering your belongings in your arms as the other students are making their way to the changing room without you. “I’m all sweaty so I’m just gonna go take a shower real quick. Is that okay?”

Eren can see a bead of sweat running down the side of your face, disappearing right between your cleavage. It’s the most pornographic thing he’s ever seen and this comes from the man who spent the whole summer watching questionable porn clips with Armin. It also doesn’t help that Zeke’s face keeps appearing in his mind, whispering to him, “Bro, look at those badonkers,” and no, Eren doesn’t want to look at your badonk—breasts. It’s very inappropriate, and you deserve to be respected.

Fucking monke. Eren is going to run him over for real after this.

“Eren? You okay there?”

He coughs once, trying to focus on your face instead of your, in Zeke’s words, dohoonkabhankoloos. “Yes, I—uhh… I’ll just go wait outside, okay?”

“Okay.”

You’re not sure what you’re expecting but when Eren walks away without saying anything about your performance, you feel a sliver of disappointment growing inside you. Keeping your thoughts to yourself, you tighten your grip around your bag and pivot on your heels.

“Oh, I forgot to tell you,” Eren says, stopping you in your tracks. You turn around, facing him with a questioning brow. The boy smiles at you, doing it so beautifully, so delicately, so lovingly that you feel like you can fight the whole world just to protect that smile. “You look so beautiful when you dance,” he says, his eyes gleaming in the adoration he holds for you. “So graceful, you’re like, uhh… Like an angel.”

It’s corny. It’s corny and cliche, and embarrassing, and you love it. If anyone else had said it, it would’ve sounded like the cringiest pick-up line, but not him. Eren said it like a confession as if he truly felt that way and he had to tell you the truth no matter what. He doesn’t intend to sound corny, of course, but what can he do? You did look like an angel in his head. But now that he’s hearing the words out loud, he can’t help but feel mortified by them. “S-sorry,” he blushes. “I didn’t mean to sound so… lame.”

“No, it’s fine.” You could feel a pleasant warmth pooling inside your stomach. “Thank you.” You smile back at him, a bit timidly but as beautiful as always. “Will you… come and watch my recital next time? It’s not until three months from now, but—”

“Of course!” His eyes light up in excitement, his voice loud enough to make three people turn their heads at the sound. “Of course, I would love to! Can I bring my camera with me?”

You almost laugh. He reminds you of that little Siberian husky he owns, the way she looked so excited as she ran down the street, chasing a hummingbird. “Yes. Yes, you can.”

***

There are a lot of things Eren is grateful for in his life. He’s thankful that he has his Aunt Dina taking care of him and his brother after his parents passed away. He’s thankful that he has Zeke, no matter how obnoxious he is, for always lending him his credit card whenever Eren is in desperate need of money (involuntarily, true, but let’s not get into details). He’s thankful that he has Armin in his life to knock some sense back into him, both literally and figuratively speaking. And of course, he’s thankful that he met you—every version of you, though he hasn't noticed yet. But today… Today he doesn’t direct his gratitude to his Lord. Today, he wants to thank whoever it was who decided that motorcycles should have these super cramped seats because holy shit, they’re doing God’s work.

“I’m sorry for holding onto you like this,” you say with your hands tangled around his waist, a little bit embarrassed with how close you are to him. The motorcycle itself is designed to be a two-seater, but apparently, comfort for the pillion has not been a priority—which is a good thing for Eren because you don’t have other options left but to have your front all squeezed against his spine to fit in.

“Umm…” Eren swallows and he swallows hard. You’re wearing his leather jacket above your clothes and yet he can still feel the way your breasts—oh my God, they’re so soft—are pressed against his back. Maintaining his eyes on the road, he tries to focus on his surroundings as best as he can. “I-it’s okay.”

“Are you sure you’re not cold? You can take back your jacket if you want. I can just use mine.”

“No, it’s fine. Yours is too thin.” He refrains himself from sniffling because damn it, it is cold. He should’ve thought of bringing a spare jacket for you, but no, of course, being the idiot that he was, he didn’t. “Don’t worry about it. My house isn’t far from here.”

“Okay.” Despite his reassurance, you still have your eyebrows knitted in concern as you can still feel him shivering from the cold. As a way to warm him up—which is only an excuse for you to touch him even more, and to continue with your diabolical plan—you embrace him from behind, tightening your arms around him just a little bit harder.

Fuck, Eren thinks, face flushed. You’re plastered against him like a conjoined twin and he can feel your warmth seeping through his shirt. It’s a wonder that he’s still able to maintain his grip on his vehicle. “W-what are you doing?”

“Umm… Making you feel warm?” You reply sheepishly which drives him insane. You’re already so beautiful and sexy in his head, now you get to be so innocently adorable too?

Eren only responds with a little "Oh..." because that’s the only thing his pea-brain can manage to form with all this blood rushing to his head. God, you wish you could steal a glimpse of his face. What kind of expression does he have right now? He must look so cute.

He’s dying, that’s how he looks. Probably about to combust into flames too. Why are they so sooooft, Eren wants to whine, feeling your chest pushed up against his back even more. Is this the kind of sweet torture people talk about? The kind that makes you feel like you’re both in heaven and hell at the same time? It certainly feels like one.

“Sorry, Ren…” Noticing the way his body is tensing, you loosen up your hold. “Am I making you feel uncomfortable?”

“No!” Eren takes off his left hand from the steering wheel and snatches yours back before you can retrieve it. He keeps it in place, pressing your splayed fingers tight against his stomach until you can feel the shape of his abdomens underneath the thin layer of his white shirt.

“I’m not uncomfortable,” he says, his voice subdued by the wind. You fail to notice the way he stutters his words. “Hold on tight so you won’t fall."

When he’s only driving twenty miles per hour because of traffic ahead, even if you did fall, you would only get a scratch on your palm at most but neither of you cares. You both know it’s just an excuse anyway. "Okay."

"And also, uhh…” Eren is glad he has his helmet on to conceal his face. “It’s… warm. You, I mean. You're so warm.”

“I'm glad I am,” you giggle, winding your arm around him again, even going as far as resting your chin on his shoulder. Feeling a bit naughty, you lower your pitch, seduction ringing in his ears. “Kinda wish we were alone in your room right now,” you purr, your fingers hovering dangerously close above the hem of his jeans. “I know something else we can do to warm you up.”

That’s it. That’s the final string. Eren’s concentration breaks and he’s easily startled by the car driving past him on his right. Veering his vehicle immediately to the side, he nearly collides with the motorcycle on his left.

“WATCH IT, JACKASS!”

“Sorry,” Eren mutters in chagrin, while you’re cackling like a witch behind him. From his bar-end mirror, you can see how he childishly pouts at your laughter. “Why are you laughing—that wasn’t funny!”

“It was a bit funny,” you sneer. “You panicked like a girl.”

“Well, you were saying some nasty things to me!”

“What nasty things?”

“Y-you said you were going to do something else to warm me up.”

“Yes, I was speaking about making some hot chocolate for you. What were you thinking about?”

He opens his mouth, closes it, and repeats these two actions three times more before he gives up and grouses, “Oh, shut up.” Eren spends the rest of his drive pretending to be upset about it, even when you can tell he’s having the hardest time masking his smile. He can’t do it for long since your giggle is infectious.

“You seem happy,” he comments, mirroring the joy on your face.

“That’s because I am,” you reply, snuggling close. “I feel like I’m the happiest when I’m with you.”

Oh, for fuck's sake. “Don’t make me crash our bike into another car, I swear to God—”

“Okay, okay, I’m sorry!”

When the laughter has receded, Eren shares stories about Dina and Zeke, the two family members he loves dearly—well, he loves Dina, Zeke can go to hell (affectionately)—and how they are very excited to meet you today. But the second you arrive at his house, no one comes to answer the door.

“Weird,” Eren mutters as he walks past the entrance, dropping the keys on the counter. “I thought they’d be—” He stops short when he notices a piece of paper lying on the coffee table. With a frown, he picks it up and runs his eyes across Dina’s neat handwriting.

Zeke and I are going shopping to give you kids some time alone. We’ll eat outside too so we won’t be back until nine. Remember to use protection ;) - Love, Dina.

Eren, too busy trying to understand what the fuck is going on, doesn’t notice the way you’re standing on your toes, trying to steal a peek at the paper from behind his shoulder. Unlike him who needs a whole minute to process her words, it only takes two seconds for you to finish reading the whole thing.

Eren shrieks at your presence, crumples the paper with both hands, tosses it inside the trash bin, and hopes the whole thing gets swallowed by hellfire. “You—You didn’t read that, did you?” It feels like he has his heart throbbing in his throat.

“Read what?” You play dumb, even tilting your head to the side for a cute, dramatic effect.

“Nothing,” he says, and when you arch your eyebrow at him, he spins you around, placing both hands on your shoulder as he guides you down the hallway. “Let’s just go to my room. Go, go, go, go, go.”

“Wait.” You stop him with one hand in the air, putting on your best solemn face. “Have you brought protection with you?”

“OH MY GOD, GO!”

***

Things aren’t going as smoothly as Eren had planned. Actually, nothing went as planned. For all he knew, all he had been doing was just turning red like a fucking tomato for the whole two hours he had spent with you, and you teasing the shit out of him. And it doesn’t seem like you’re going to stop anytime soon!

Is she planning to kill me? He sighs as he opens the door that leads to his bedroom, welcoming you in. She wasn’t like this yesterday. Now, don’t get him wrong. Eren loves how aggressive you’re being—he hasn’t unlocked his kink yet, but he’s secretly a sub who longs to be dominated by his women, both in bed and in real life—but with how smooth you’re going right now, constantly flirting with him as if it would kill you if you didn’t make him blush every ten minutes, this is getting so bad for his heart.

And it doesn’t help that he’s now alone with you in an empty house for the next—he takes a glimpse at his phone screen to check on the time—three hours and twelve minutes. His thoughts are going insane. From Dina’s message to the image of you in your skin-tight leotard, and of course, the way you embraced him on the ride home too. You’ve been giving him signs that you like him. You’re more honest and blatant compared to how you behaved during your date, and as much as he is certain that Spider-Girl is the woman he’s in love with, he can’t deny that he has feelings for you too. And the way you’re looking at him right now, sitting on the edge of his bed in your cute little red dress and your cute little matching headband with your smile never faltering away from your lips—everything about you right now is so… titillating.

“You’re such a dirty boy,” you smirk.

Eren nearly collapses. “W-what?” What the hell is happening? She can hear my thoughts now? WHAT IS GOING ON?! “What do you—I’m not—I don’t know what you’re saying.”

“I said you’re a dirty boy.” Your salacious smirk turns into a mischievous grin. “As in your room is a mess.”

“Oh!” He laughs once in relief, his hand coming up to wipe cold sweat off his forehead. “Oh, you were talking about my room, thank God.” Wait. He panics again, eyes moving back and forth from one corner to another, scanning his room. He’s sure that he’s cleaned up everything he could this morning, and by cleaning up, he means picking everything off the floor, jamming them inside his closet, and pretending that they don’t exist. Everything seems to be in order. There are no clutters on his computer desk. No laundry on the floor. Sure, the books on his shelf are in disarray, but at least they’re not too dusty. “It looks clean to me, though.”

“On the outside, sure,” you titter. “But your wardrobe looks like it’s seconds away from exploding. I don’t need to take a peek inside to know that you have dirty clothes and questionable things stored there.”

“I don’t have… q-questionable things,” Eren says very unconvincingly. Poor boy can’t lie to save his life. Unable to stand the way you narrow your eyes suspiciously at him, he sighs in defeat, “Well, it depends on how you define questionable.”

“Playboy magazines?”

“Nope.” Why should I buy one when I can just see naked girls for free on PornHub?

“Erotic novels?”

“No.” Ha ha, too bad. You were close, though, cause instead of erotic novels, I read—

“Erotic mangas, then?”

Fuck. “N-no,” he coughs out.

You wait for him, watching him with the nastiest grin you could muster until he gives up on his lies. “All right, all right, you got me,” Eren says, rolling his eyes. “I have some hentai mangas hidden in my closet. Happy now?”

“Immensely,” you chirp back and whatever it is you’re doing, it’s working well because Eren feels like he can breathe properly again.

Now that the tension isn’t as suffocating, you both settle down on the carpeted floor, your backside leaning against the side rail of his bed. You have your textbook perched on your lap, a pen between your fingers as you teach him about univariate and bivariate transformations. Eren wears a pair of eyeglasses when he studies, and you hate whoever invented those black frames for making him look more attractive than he already is as if his little man-bun wasn’t strong enough to emphasize that.

An hour passes by in a flash and Eren asks for a ten-minute break. You follow him to the kitchen, watching him make two cups of hot chocolate while casually throwing back some of your earlier teasings. It feels so domestic—the playful banter you throw, the way you share smiles and giggles while you both sit on the kitchen aisle with your legs dangling in the air. And while you secretly fantasize about spending every morning with him like this, Eren is constantly reminded of the time he spent with Spider-Girl.

Why does this feel so familiar? He ponders. Is your personality similar to hers? Is it the way you talk? Or is it because he unconsciously starts projecting Spider-Girl on you? Because he can’t stop thinking about her even when he’s trying his best to focus on you today? He grows restless at the thoughts. Because if that’s the case, then what’s the point of doing this? It’s clear that he’s still searching for Spider-Girl everywhere he goes. Even when he’s seeing you, he still thinks about her. He was sure he managed to forget about her earlier today, but the more he grows comfortable with you, and the more you show your true personality to him, the more he sees Spider-Girl in you.

When you return to his bedroom with him trailing after you, you notice a little box sliding out of his bag. Eren follows your gaze, mumbling, “Oh, shit, I forgot,” under his breath before he snatches it away. “I bought something for you earlier today,” he says, taking a seat on the edge of his bed with you settling down right next to him. “I wanted to give this to you back when we were at the studio but…” He smiles a little bit sheepishly as he hands it over to you. “I got, uhh… distracted.”

The way he said his words, it was clear that you were his distraction. “Thank you,” you reply, your fingers playing with the little red bow that ties the package together. “You’re always so thoughtful. I wanted to give you something too, actually, but I couldn’t get it done on time. It’s going to take a little while before I can finish it.”

“Oh?” His whole face brightens at once, seemingly giddy at the thought, as it would be the first time he’ll receive a handmade gift from the opposite sex. “You’re making something for me?”

“Yeah.”

“What is it?”

“It’s a surprise.” Your coquettish smile quickly becomes one of his favorite things in the world. “For now,” you land a hand on his shoulder, leaning up to brush your lips lightly against his cheek. The kiss is light and chaste, and yet, Eren turns rigid, his heartbeat roaring in his ears. You break away with a bashful smile painting your lips. “I hope that’s okay?”

“Umm…” He mumbles out, unfocused. “Yeah…”

The moment is there. The same atmosphere, the same tension that you felt when you were about to part ways at the end of your date has returned, ten times thicker than before. You maintain your gaze on his face, while Eren learns the texture of your lips with his eyes. They seem so soft, so inviting and he wants it. He wants to know how it would feel like to have your mouths pressed against one another but at the same time…

He’s conflicted again, you think to yourself, and if you’re not careful, your devilish smirk will rise to the surface again. It’s such a fun game watching him like this. You can almost literally see the way he’s battling against himself. On one side, he wants to kiss the bejeezus out of you, while on the other hand, he wants to push you away and say, “Girl, you’re making my jeans tighter than ever but this heart only belongs to one woman, and as long as you’re not dressed in white spandex, you’re not her.”

The evil that you are, you plan to make it even more interesting. “Kiss me.”

Somewhere at the back of his head, a nuclear bomb explodes, killing half of his brain cells at once. “W-what?” Eren croaks out, sounding like he hasn’t spoken in years.

You lean closer, your breath fanning his lips. God, your perfume, the scent of your breath—you smell so fucking wonderful. Sliding a hand up his chest, fingers gliding smoothly against the fabric of his shirt, you whisper again, “I want you to kiss me, Ren.”

“I—mmph—” His eyes close in reflex the moment your lips touch his, his eyebrows sewn together in the middle. You frame his cheek, bringing him closer to you than ever. For a moment, he succumbs, his fingers fisting the sheets underneath him. You press your body against him, and he wonders if you can feel his heartbeat reverberating on your skin. He lets out this cute little whine when he feels you parting his lips with yours, but the second he feels the tip of your tongue touching his, his body flinches and Eren breaks away.

“S-sorry.” He stands up abruptly from the bed, one hand shooting up to cover the bottom half of his face. His blush creeps up from his neck to the tip of his ears. He seems breathless, panicking out of his mind.

Your lips are just itching to exhibit a wicked grin but you pretend to be confused. “Is there something wrong?”

“I—I can’t—” He’s looking anywhere but your face, jittery hands moving animatedly as he speaks. “You and me—we can’t—I can’t do this with you—Not right now—Not when I’m—I can’t, I’m sorry, I can’t.”

Poor Rennie looks like he’s having a heart attack. “You can’t?” You’ve never taken any acting classes before, but you’re sure as hell this performance you’re doing right now deserves an Oscar's Best Actress nomination. Guess binging Euphoria all weekend has some perks after all. “But…” You perceive him with glassy doe eyes. “I thought you liked me…”

“I did!” He shouts out the words like it physically pains him to say them out loud. He’s losing his mind and it’s hilarious. “I did…” Eren goes down to his knees before you, his hands reaching out to take yours before he settles them on your lap. They’re sweating, and so cold. “I really liked you but…”

You start to feel bad but the sadistic villain inside you wants to see more so you just fake a sob. “But now… You don’t like me anymore…”

“Oh, God.” You, brushing your nonexistent tears with your fingers right now, are his kryptonite. “Please don't cry. No—no, it’s not like that! I like you!” he shouts, his eyes shaking as he peers into yours. “Jesus, I think I even loved you at some point and maybe I still do, I don’t know—I don’t understand my feelings right now, I just—”

“It's okay,” you say, trying to calm him down. You're a bit worried now because if this guy ends up passing out, that’s going to be your fault. “It’s all right, Ren… I know what you’re saying…”

He pauses to take a deep breath. When he speaks again, he no longer sounds as squeaky as before. “Listen to me,” he squeezes your hand, and even if his fingers are still trembling, they’re doing their best to comfort you. “I really, really do like you. Honestly? I was so obsessed with you before. I stalked you like a pervert. I took pictures of you when you weren’t looking. I've had your photo as my wallpaper for God knows how long. My video journals—”

Are all about me, you echo the words in your head as he speaks the same thing. Oh my God, he’s freaking out so bad, he’s telling every bit of his secret now. So cute.

“I did all those things because I liked you and you should hate me for it—”

“I’ll never hate you, Ren. I want to be with you.”

You’re killing him. You can tell you’re killing him inside. “And you don’t know how much those words mean to me but the truth is, I’m—” He hesitates, still contemplating whether he should say the words out loud. He doesn’t want to hurt your feelings, but if he continues doing this, letting his desire overtake him once again, he’s only going to hurt you even more. He needs to make a decision. “I’m in love with someone else.”

You fake a gasp, even going as far as covering your mouth with both hands. “Y-you are?”

“Yes…” He answers in dismay. “I know maybe I should give myself some time to figure this out but I don’t want to be selfish. I don’t want to make you wait for me. I don’t want to make you feel confused. And I know it would be easier to love you instead of her—I don’t even know how she feels about me but… I can’t. I can’t deny that I’m in love with her. And it’s not fair if I keep doing this with you when I keep thinking about someone else. I don’t want to be that kind of person.”

He’s kind. Eren is always kind. He could’ve just dated you both if he wanted to, but he didn’t. “I see,” you solemnly respond. “Can you… tell me who you’re in love with?”

He nibbles on his lip, looking down when he says, “S-Spider-Girl.”

FUCK, YES! In your mind, you’re punching the air in triumph with Cardi B and DJ Khaleed throwing a party in the background, celebrating your victory. But if you take a look at the situation, how fucking ridiculous is this? Imagine if Spider-Girl wasn’t your alter ego. It would be like you confessing to that delusional nerd Armin, only to be rejected by him saying he’s in love with a random cosplayer whose real name he didn’t even know. Well, with Armin, it’s still a plausible thought. Ridiculous, sure, but plausible.

“I see…” You land a hand above your heart, pretending like it’s breaking when you’re really trying your best not to cackle like a madman. “Oh, gosh… I don’t know what to say… This is such shocking news to me.”

Colors drain from his face. “I’m sorry.” He looks like he’s the one who’s having his heart shredded apart. “I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to hurt you like this. I’m sorry for leading you on. I should’ve told you last night. You are such an attractive woman. You’re beautiful. You’re brilliant and you’re so kind and—”

Oh my God, he’s consoling me now. It’s getting harder and harder not to guffaw at his face. "Ren—"

“—I’m sure there are a lot of guys out there who would love to date you,” Eren says, his eyes drooping in sadness. “And I know this is a selfish thought but I hope we can… still be friends?”

God, you better be grateful I’m Spider-Girl ‘cause this feels like a terrible break-up movie and I’m livid. “We can,” you nod. “But only if you do something for me.”

Eren blinks, his eyes turning hopeful. “Yes, anything. Anything you want, I’ll do it.”

“Okay, then, sit down on the floor.” With a confused frown, he follows without a word. “Lean back.” You give two light taps on the railing of his bed and he rests his backside against it. “Good, now close your eyes. Don’t open them until I say so.”

“Umm… Okay…”

“Promise me that.”

“I promise.” His furrow turns deeper when he senses you crawling up his bed. You position yourself behind him, lying down on your stomach with your elbows propping the upper part of your body.

You lean close, whispering breathily in his ear, imitating the words he once said to you on the night he kissed you. “Can I try something I’ve never done before?”

He shivers. The way your voice echoes through his mind sends his mind reeling. “Y-yes…” It sounds more like a question and you almost laugh. He’s beyond nervous.

Your hand slithers down his cheek before you hook your fingers on the underside of his jaw. You lift his face. His gaze would’ve lingered on the ceiling if he had his eyes opened but Eren keeps them pressed shut. Your touch feels burning on his skin. “W-what are you doing?” he stutters out as you take off his glasses.

“Telling you my biggest secret,” you murmur, leaning closer until you have your face hovering above his. He can almost feel your every word on his skin. “Do you trust me?”

“I—” He noticeably gulps. “I do.”

With an elfin smile, you lower your head. Eren softly gasps when your lips are connected. You’re kissing him upside-down, similar to the kiss he shared with Spider-Girl. You try to replicate the way he kissed you that night, starting out slow, giving him a light, innocent kiss. There’s no pressure on your lips, nothing to distract him away from how soft they feel against his. This is that kiss—your first kiss together.

And Eren remembers it. His body, his lips, his heart remember it.

A few seconds are spent with Eren holding his breath and when you pull away, whispering, “Look at me,” he slowly opens his eyes but they stay half-lidded, completely dazed.

You stroke his cheek, your smile is an everlasting beauty.

“I’m in love with you too, Rennie.”

Your confession certainly comes as a shock, but it’s not as much as the way you called his name. Eren has his heartbeat ringing clamorously in his ears, his eyes widening at the pet name you gave him back when you were nine-year-old. His flashback hits him at once and it strikes him like thunder. He has never told anyone else about the little girl he met in the hospital except for Spider-Girl, and even then, he didn’t tell you that she used to call him Rennie. So how the fuck can you tell?

Eren turns around, almost knocking his head against the railing as he does. “Wait—” He rises to his feet, both hands stretched out forward. He is mortified beyond belief. So embarrassed, that he wishes he can light himself on fire so he doesn’t have to deal with whatever the fuck that’s going on. This can’t be—she can’t be—

He catches you grinning at him no matter how much you try to hold yourself back. “Calm down, Rennie.”

“No, don’t call—” Oh my God, I can’t breathe—This isn’t happening right now—She—

You’re laughing—great, now you’re laughing—interrupting his thoughts and sending him even further down this endless hole of shame. “So, I’m your first love, huh? Been crushing on me ever since we were nine? Damn, didn’t know you were such a simp for me, Tarantula Boy.”

“No. No, no, no, no, no.” He only has one color on his face: red. “You can’t do this to me—”

“And you jerked off to my pictures?” You playfully scold him, stepping down from the bed and making your way to his spot. “Can’t say I’m pleased with that. Also, I can’t believe you kissed me right after our date ended. Not to mention, I had to save your ass again—”

Fuck, I can’t do this. Eren spins on his heels, literally trying to run away in shame as his brain turns into mush. He has one hand around the doorknob, ready to run and jump off the nearest bridge when you stretch out your arm and shoot out your web. Snaring him by his wrist, you pull him back toward you with a hard yank. With a startled yelp, Eren tumbles back, his body nearly crashes against yours but you catch him just in time. You flick the web off your wrist and tangle your arms around his neck.

Standing on your toes, you press your body against his, meshing your lips together and laughing against his mouth in response to the muffled sounds of his protest. “Kill me,” he sighs against your mouth, followed by a strangled moan when you part your lips just to close them around his bottom one. “Just kill me now, please.”

“You sure about that?” You tease him, one hand sliding down his chest. “Cause I’d rather do something else if you ask me.” You nip on his lip, not being as gentle as before.

Groaning in defeat, Eren frames your face with both hands. He decides to take control of the kiss as a way to make you feel just as flustered as he is now. He’s still awkward, his teeth almost knocking against yours but when his tongue slides inside, he manages to steal a gasp out of your mouth.

You lean your entire weight on him, clawing against his chest as he winds his arm around your waist. “Easy, Tarantula Boy,” you giggle, still sounding mischievous albeit a little breathless.

“You’re evil.” Eren moves his lips to your jaw before he settles his head in the crook of your neck. “I can’t believe you played me like this. Is this the reason why you were being so aggressive today?”

“I’m sorry.” Your small laughter morphs into soft moans as his tongue slithers against yours again. Your fingers slip between his strands, your eyes closed in pleasure as you face the ceiling, giving him more access to nibble on the supple skin of your neck. “I didn’t mean to go this far, actually. I just wanted to tease you a little bit but—” Your sentence ends abruptly in a gasp when he seizes you by your waist and throws you down to the bed. His strength surprises you but the way he handles you so easily, losing almost all the tenderness in his touch, lights your stomach on fire. He crawls on top of you, pinning your hand down against the sheets before he smashes your lips together again. The sudden change in his attitude baffles you but you're quick to display your smirk again. “My, my, look who’s being so aggressive now.”

“Shut up,” he replies, face aflame, robbing you of the ability to speak. Eren kisses you deeply, almost frantically, demanding, plundering your mouth with his own, and you understand why. He doesn’t use his passion to cover his embarrassment, not like what you thought he was doing. He’s kissing you like this, like he owns you and you own him, because he’s been in love with three different people all this time, and all of them are now in his arms, in the shape of you. And, God, you are beautiful.

“Calm down,” you remind him again, sliding your fingers up and down his spine, effectively slowing down his pace. His bun is a mess, his strands falling all over the place, all designed by your eager hands. You play with the baby hair on his nape when he pulls away, your smile is too delicate to be real. “I’m not going anywhere. You don’t have to rush.”

His heart hammers inside his chest and it’s beating so fast, it’s frightening, but Eren loves it. He’s always felt this way when he was with you—with any version of you—but now that he knows you’re all of them, his heart beats three times faster. “I don’t think I can do it.” He keeps his face close enough for the tip of your nose to brush against his when he whispers, “I’ve been in love with the same girl for twelve years and now you’re right here and I’m… I’m going insane.”

He’s adorable. So adorable. “Well then, maybe I feel the same way…” You untangle his hair tie with one hand, pushing back his hair behind his ear before you caress his cheek. “‘Cause I’m sure I’ve been in love with the same boy for twelve years too.”

He melts in your arms, weak with the surge of joy that suffuses his body. “It’s hard to believe that you’re Spider-Girl,” he breathes out, resting his temple above yours, closing his lids. He seems so blissful, so relieved at the revelation. “But at the same time, it feels so right. This is the perfect moment of my life, I feel like I’m gonna die.”

“Don’t die just yet,” you titter. “You haven’t loved me enough yet.”

He breaks away with a peal of laughter flowing past his lips. “I’m already going insane because of you and you still want me to love you harder than this?”

“If you can.”

“So demanding.” He jokingly rolls his eyes. “That little boy in the hospital.” He twines his fingers around your wrist, bringing your hand closer to his face. He speaks his next words with his lips brushing against the lines of your palm. “Have you always known it was me?”

“No…” You’re entranced, eyes turning a bit hazy at the way his long eyelashes flutter against his cheeks. He peppers soft kisses on your skin down to the veins that paint your inner wrist. “I only realized it was you when you told me that story.”

“That night on the rooftop?” His pout returns. “You should’ve told me then.”

“Well, yes, but then I wouldn’t get to have this much fun.” You toss him your signature Cheshire Cat grin. Eren throws you a playful snort before he dives back to taste your lips again. “Plus, I was too… embarrassed to say a word back then. I’ve always thought you looked familiar but I had no idea that you were that boy.” You hug him close, breathing right against his ear. “You grew up so handsomely, Rennie….”

He’s buzzing with joy, every part of him is. “You’re really trying to kill me right now, aren’t you?” Eren tickles your side, making you laugh hard enough for his neighbors to hear. He takes in everything, the crinkles in your eyes, the way you have your mouth opened wide, and that adorable laughter you emit–he loves it all. “This is how I always imagined you to look underneath that mask when you laughed,” he confesses, settling himself between your legs.

You play with his necklace, fingers hooking around his silver chain. “Are you disappointed that I’m not as feminine as I usually behave on campus?”

“Are you kidding? I love you more like this.” Your heart thrashes wildly, no matter how hard you tell it to stay put. Eren props his elbows on the bed, trapping you between his arms. He gently swats the bangs out of your eyes, taking his time to examine your every feature, using the chance to commit every part of you into memory. “You’re the most beautiful woman I’ve ever laid my eyes on but it’s Spider-Girl whom I’m in love with, and I never cared about her looks. I care about the way she comforts me with her words.” He presses a gentle kiss on the center of your temple, stunning you with intimacy. “I care about the way she cares about me.” He drags his lips to your cheek, lips as light as feathers. “How she gets upset on my behalf when I blame myself for something that isn’t my fault.”

“Yeah, you do that a lot, it’s annoying,” you giggle and you can feel his smile growing on your skin. “What else do you care about?”

“I care about the way she uses sarcasm as her weapon.” His lips are now closing around your earlobe, letting you know the shape of his smirk as he speaks. "And how she gets snarkier when she's embarrassed, not knowing what to do when she receives a compliment."

You flinch, a little bit sensitive in that area. Especially when he sounds breathier like this, huskier as if he just woke up from his dream. “I thought I was irritating.”

“Sometimes, sure.” But in his next lines, he abandons all the mirth in his voice, and he speaks sincerely from the bottom of his heart. “I'm kidding. I just find you endearing. I care about how you always pretend to be strong when you’re actually scared.” He grants a soft kiss on your nose, breaking away to look you in the eyes as he strokes your hair. “I care about how you seem like you don’t need anybody else in your life, when the truth is, you’re always searching for someone to be there for you. Just like everyone else, you’re scared of being alone.”

Your gaze softens, your stomach somersaulting at his words. “I can never lie to you, can I?” Your voice is not louder than a whisper, your lips only a breath away. “Ever since we were kids, you always knew what to say to me. You understood me more than anyone else.” It’s such a wonderful feeling to be with someone you can truly open yourself to. No secrets. No lies. No sweet nothings. No boundaries. “I wish we had never grown apart during those years. I would’ve loved to spend every moment with you. Growing up together. Being your best friend and making out with you on our school’s rooftop during lunch breaks.” You brush two of your fingertips against his lips, tracing the pretty shape of his mouth as he chuckles. “Maybe I could even give you that radioactive spider that bit me so you could be my sidekick and we could fight crimes together.”

“Your sidekick?”

“It’s kind of a package deal. Plus, I have better social skills. You're not ready to be a superhero, trust me."

"And why not?"

"'Cause even if you were able to kick some ass, you’d never win against your true enemy.”

“Which is?”

“The press. And Tony Stark ‘cause he’d just bully you like crazy without me.”

He just can’t seem to stop grinning when he’s with you. “Well, it’s not too late to start. I'm sure there's some radioactive spiders somewhere.” He gently bites on the tip, rolling your finger between his teeth. “Can you find me a tarantula, though? Spiders are a little bit overrated.”

“Of course, baby. Whatever you want.”

Eren smiles, bestowing another kiss and letting himself drown in your taste for a minute before he pulls away with a pout. “You said you could never lie to me,” he mutters. “But you’ve been lying to me about your identity for three months.”

“Oh my God,” you groan, throwing your head back. “Stop being so butthurt about it. I said I’m sorry.”

He chortles, gathering your face in his hand again. “You’re so annoying.” He pecks your lips. “But I love you.”

“You’re such an idiot.” You pull him for another kiss, separating your lips to welcome him inside. “But I love you.”

Your kisses seem never-ending, and none of you complains about it. It’s so addicting, so exciting to have his taste lingering in your mouth, to feel the flick of his tongue against yours. Eren may be an inexperienced kisser, but he learns fast. By the time he regains confidence, it’s easy for him to steal your breath away, leaving you all dazed and needy for more.

You have your body squeezed against his, your heels hooked behind his waist, but you’re left feeling unsatisfied as you still have layers of clothing separating your skin from his. “Can I do something I’ve never done before?” you ask him with a cheeky grin.

Eren, who was suckling on your neck a second ago, elevates his face just to give you a flat stare. “Can you stop embarrassing me for one second?”

“What, I can’t speak English now?”

“You’re using my words!”

“Since when are those words your words—It’s basic English!” Laughing, you roll him to his back, position yourself above his lap and watch him gulp in anticipation. With a naughty smirk, you slip your hand underneath his shirt, your fingers tracing the ridges of his abdomens before you bunch up the fabric in one hand and push it up to his chest. “Wow…” The word accidentally slips out of your mouth as you stare shamelessly at him. “Jesus, when the heck did you work out?”

“S-shut up.” He pushes down his shirt, hiding as much skin as he can from your hungry eyes while blushing like the virgin that he is.

Well, actually, you’re a virgin too, but at least, you act like a pro. “Why are you covering—let me see your abs!”

“No!”

“Wha—” You’re trying to pry his hands away. He’s pretty strong, and you don’t want to use your superhuman strength to pin him down just so you can marvel at his stomach (you won’t stoop that low).

“Stop trying to undress me, woman!”

You know what, if he keeps fighting you back like this, you might as well tie him up with your web. “Rennie, come on, just give me a peek!” Did you sound desperate? Yes. Are you desperate? Yes, times a thousand. “I’m your girlfriend, you know!”

“You literally just became my girlfriend like seven minutes ago!” He’s struggling just as much, keeping the hem of his shirt as low as possible. “Also, being my girlfriend doesn’t mean you can do whatever you like with my body! Ask me for my consent first!”

You see, he’s right. He’s totally right, but— “Babe, I can literally feel your dick poking against my thigh right now.”

“Y-yeah, but still…” Aaaaand he's blushing.

“Huh. Cute. Now let’s get back to the game, darling.” You grab the hem of his shirt and—

“No, wait! I’m not mentally ready and we're—” Eren gasps loudly—almost too dramatically—in both horror and surprise when you shoot two lumps of your web, snaring his wrists and keeping them glued on the bed right on each side of his head. He turns to face you again, his jaw dropping low when he speaks, “Did you just use your web on me?”

You did. Holy shit, you did. What happened to not stooping that low? “I-I’m sorry.”

“Just to see my abs.”

You palm your face, your cheeks blazing hot. “I’ll let you out—”

“You know Peter Parker wouldn’t do this to MJ, right?”

You sigh. You kinda wish you were bitten by a radioactive bunny so you could dig really fast and bury your whole existence inside a hole. “Well, I mean, I wouldn’t know–”

“Steve Rogers would judge you so hard right now.”

“Steve’s actually a kinky bitch. I’m sure he likes it. Look, just calm down,” you tell him, settling yourself on his lap while trying your best to ignore the way his cock is twitching in his pants at the sensation of your weight pressing against him. “I won’t do anything to you without your permission, all right? I'll act like a gentleman. A gentlewoman, if you must.”

“Oh, am I your lady now?”

“You’re acting like one right now, aren’t you?”

“Oh, shut up.” He yanks on his wrist, trying to break free but your web is unyielding. “Can you get this off of me? This looks ridiculous!”

No, it doesn’t. This looks kinky as fuck. Never have you imagined that you’d be using your superhero ability to tie up a handsome man on his own bed, but you learn something new every day, I guess. Trying not to stare so much at the way his biceps are flexing with every attempt he makes, you ask the most important question. “Are you nervous because you’re a virgin?”

“I’m not—” His face catches on fire. “I’m not nervous, I’m just—okay, yeah, I’m nervous.”

“Because you’re a virgin?”

“No,” is his first answer but then bashfully he corrects with, “Well, yeah, kinda. But I’m more nervous about the fact that you’re… not.”

“Not what?”

“A virgin.” He tucks his chin, his voice muted. “I just… I don’t want to disappoint you.” Because Eren knows that you’ve dated several popular guys on campus in the past. Porco Galliard, Colt Grice, even that notorious bad boy, Floch Forster at some point. How can he compete with that? He wants to have sex with you—God, he wants nothing more than to get his dick wet with the girl he’s been in love with for twelve years—but what if you’re not satisfied with him? What if he sucks (no pun intended)? What if he’s supposed to suck but he can’t suck properly? Like sucking on your tits, for example. What if he can’t suck them right? What if—

“I’m a virgin, though,” you say.

“Okay, you can do whatever you want with me. I’m ready.”

That’s it. That’s all it takes for you to get his consent. The next thing you know, Eren has his shirt bunched up around his chest, your fingers splayed and pressed flat against his stomach. “Damn,” you murmur under your breath, eyes transfixed on the way his muscles tighten underneath your palm. “If I had known you looked like this underneath that hoodie, I wouldn’t have wasted all these months keeping my identity a secret.”

His blush blossoms fast on his face, flinching when he feels your fingertips tracing the dip of his V-line. “I—I thought you were trying to keep your identity a secret to protect me.”

“Well, yeah, that too, but—” You brush your pads against his navel, feeling the little happy trail that disappears behind his jeans. He lets out this little sound, like a mix between a yelp, a whimper, and a moan, and it’s so fucking cute. “I think I’d be okay with you getting kidnapped once a week if I get to do this every day.”

“It feels so weird to have a hot girl talking about me like this, but okay.” Eren, despite how bizarre this conversation is getting, still has his focus on how to break himself free from your webbing. “Can you do something about this, please? It feels sticky on my skin.”

“No.”

“What do you mean 'no?' I can’t touch you if I’m like this!”

“Yes, that is the point, now shut up.” To Eren’s surprise, you casually yank your dress over your head, tossing it haphazardly on the floor and leaving you only in nice lacy lingerie that matches the shade of your lipstick.

“Fuck me,” he mutters under his breath, his gaze quickly shifting down to your chest. He gulps at the sight. “B-badonkers…”

“Excuse me?”

“I mean, your tits—your breasts!” He stammers. “They’re—they’re perfect. Like, the shape of them and how they look so… so soft and…” He clears his throat, realizing just how much lame he’s being. “You know, like a really nice pair of natural, fully functional breasts.”

You scrunch up your nose at his words. “Are you going to be like this the whole time?” You reach one hand behind your back, unclasping your bra.

“I… hope not…” He’s staring with unblinking eyes, practically salivating at the sight of your breasts bouncing once as you position yourself better on his lap. Fuck, they really are perfect. “A-are you sure you’ve never done this before?”

“You mean sex? No.” You lean forward, crawling up his body until you have your face hovering above his again. “Why?”

“You just seem awfully calm and—” You leave him speechless for a good few seconds when you press your breasts against his chest. Eren whines, closing his eyes as he throws his head against the bed. “Fuck.”

Your lips twitch up into a smirk. “Soft, aren’t they?”

“Like fucking marshmallows.” He dreamily sighs—almost sobbing, really. “Can I have your tits in my mouth, please?”

Perhaps sometime in the future, when you look back into this scene again, you’ll have the biggest cringe moment in your life because what the fuck is he asking but right now, everything just seems so hot, you don’t even care. “Yeah, but maybe later once I’m done with you.” You reward him with a kiss to distract him, stifling his protest. “To tell you the truth, I’ve gone to second base before but I’ve… never gone past that.”

“Oh… Why not?”

“Just didn’t feel like it was the right thing to do at that time,” you answer with a shrug. “I almost did it with Porco but… It felt like I was missing something so I stopped him at the last minute.”

There’s jealousy burning inside him, but the revelation also provides him some relief. “I see…”

You can sense it, the tiny hint of fury raging in his chest and you nuzzle the tip of your nose against his to soothe him down. “Are you jealous?”

“No.”

He is. He so is. “Would you like it if I said I was waiting for the right person?” You slide down one finger from the middle of his chest to the dip of his belly button. “Waiting for you?”

“N-no.”

He would. He so would. “You’re cute.”

“Stop calling me cute—ah!” A moan is snatched away from the back of his throat the second you grind your hips against him. Even the slightest friction drives him insane and now he has you rubbing your clothed heat against his bulge. “Fuck, baby, that feels good.”

You recall the way he called you by that pet name on that night you shared your first kiss with him, and as pleasant as it was in your ears, this one feels a million times better. It’s laced with urgency, desperation, and need. “Can I take off your jeans?” You ask him, even when your fingers are already playing with his zipper.

“Are you going to ask me questions the whole time?”

“You said you wanted me to ask for your consent.”

“Yeah, fuck that. Do whatever you want with me. I’m yours.”

You almost laugh. “Well then, don’t mind if I do,” you say, a moment before your lips meet in a frenzied kiss. Eren arches his back, wanting to close every inch of gap between your skins until he feels like you’re completely plastered against him. He can feel your hand sliding down his stomach, toying with the button of his jeans before you push them down to his mid-thighs, along with his briefs. With a sheepish smile, you maintain eye contact as you curl your fingers gently around his shaft.

“How does it feel, Rennie?” You keep your face close, loving his expression. “Feels good?”

His chest rises and falls with rapid breaths, his face scarlet and erotic. “Feels ama—”

Right at that exact moment, Zeke Jaeger comes bursting inside his room with a phone in his hand, recording everything as he shouts, “AHA! CAUGHT YOU GUYS IN 4K! I knew you wouldn’t be studying–” He freezes at the sight of you stroking his sibling’s cock, your naked breasts practically dangling over his face, and for a second, none of you make a sound.

And then, it’s chaos.

The three of you are screaming at the same time, with you quickly grabbing the nearest pillow to cover your front, completely forgetting to throw a blanket on your poor boyfriend who’s practically buck-naked on his bed. Eren, with his wrists still glued to the sheets, can only spout out incoherent words, while his brother, who’s so horrified at the sight of Eren’s cock, spasming and leaking in desperate need of attention, can only stand still, his brain unable to function. It’s only until Eren screams, “ZEKE, GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY ROOM!” that he returns to his senses, whining out, “DINA, MY BROTHER IS FUCKING BEFORE ME!” as he runs back into the kitchen.

You hastily jump down from the bed, shutting the door and locking it up. “Use your web,” Eren says, “He has a spare key. He can still barge in anytime.”

“I think he saw us,” you utter in horror.

“Yeah.”

“If I drop him off the building and make it look like an accident, do you think you’ll be okay with that?”

“Will I be okay with you killing my brother after seeing your boobs and catching me getting tied up to my bed and being dominated like a fucking masochist by my girlfriend?” Eren watches his cock wilting away. “Yes.”

“Well, not killing. I’m just gonna punch him hard enough to give him like a massive concussion or something.”

“No, no, no. Let’s just stick to murder. I like murder.”

***

AN: Hi, everyone! It took me a while but I finally got to finish this series. I wanted to write a small epilogue that will feature a funny scene where they get to lose their virginity to each other but since I'm pregnant with my second child now, I don't think I'll have the energy/time to do it, I'm sorry 😭😭😭 I hope you enjoyed the story despite how cringe this is (I'm never gonna do comedy again oh god what was I thinking). Anyway, thank you so much for reading! I'll see you next time!

Tagging:

@l6ffys @vivi-et @halparkebitch @fwess @littlemochi @thebeardedmoon @didiyogo @coyloves @erenbean @tehehebri @justasketch @infnteen @naiomiwinchester @spiderlingh @doyochii @ahornyenby @aengelren @sakurashell @princess-okkotsu @resonancesoul @blrqt @cacapeepee @persyhange @jaegersdiary @erentoes @trashygremlin04 @meed18 @j0livi0ni @snowflake-201 @eva-gates @claudevonstrukesblog @sofijaeger @rinsie @blanccofiie @ereninbunu @natanialora @khinjito @jaegeriess @watermelon-online @tropicsoda @damselofblueroses @alexackrman @bblgumz @jurrasicpork @erenjaegercult @holycandypizza

#eren smut #eren fluff #eren jaeger smut #eren x reader #eren jaeger fluff #eren yeager smut #eren yeager fluff #eren jaeger x reader #eren yeager x reader #aot smut #snk smut #aot fluff #snk fluff #eren x reader smut #aot x reader #snk x reader #eren x you #our little secret canon

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paperweight91 · 5 months

Text

The Other Side of Tomorrow Part 2

Pairing: Lloyd Hansen x reader

Warnings: fluff, mentions of divorce

W/C: 3.5k

A/N: The muse finally allowed me to finish up this part after stranding me halfway through. Things are moving forward. Please let me know what you guys think, feedback and reblogs are greatly appreciated!

“How long do you need me to watch him?” Your mom asked.

You sighed, leaving your son with your mother while you went on assignment with Lloyd wasn’t your first choice, but it was the only option you had. “Just for a couple days, he’ll be going to his dads before I get back.”

It’s not that your mom couldn’t look after your kid, she was just a bit ditzy. He was always well taken care of, if not a little sugar-high when he came back from her place.

Your mother continued to go on about something to do with one of your cousins, you couldn’t be bothered to listen to. You let her ramble as you started packing clothes, only half listening to her one sided conversation. You wrapped up the call after only thirty minutes and went to check on your son.

He was sleeping soundly in bed. He had taken the separation far better than you had thought he would. Adjusting quickly to splitting time between yourself and your ex. It was probably the lack of tension that had settled him the quickest.

After a final check of your last minute items to pack, you decided to turn in for the night. Excited to hear from Andy on what your ex may have agreed to.

You woke the next morning feeling more refreshed than you had in years, so much so that you decided to stop for a coffee on your way into work. A nice little treat to start off your day. You dropped your son at daycare and quickly raced to the closest Starbucks. While you waited in the drive through you thought back to the day before and how kind your boss had been. Yes he was still an ass, but he had done something no one else in your circle had been able to do. You decided to order him a drink along with your own. It wasn’t much but at least it was something.

With your coveted haul, and some extra treats for later, you made your way into the office. It was a surprisingly boring building, not at all in line with the preppy outfits your boss liked to wear, or his outlandish attitude. Hansen Government Services covered several floors with your desk being on the top floor.

When the elevator dinged to signal the arrival to your floor you quickly stepped out and made your way to your desk. Arranging your coffee and cookie to snack on once you dropped off Lloyd’s. As you marched towards his office, your steps faltered. What if he thought you were sucking up? Well you kind of were, but you really wanted him to know you appreciated his help. Shaking your head you resolved to be your old self again and knocked on his office door.

It was early so you weren’t even sure if he would be in yet, before you could berate yourself you heard his voice with a distracted “come in.”

You opened the door and stood there nervously. “Sir, I stopped at Starbucks on the way in, I didn’t know your order, but I wanted to get you something and figured you can’t go wrong with an Americano right?” You kept your voice light as you shifted your weight from foot to foot.

“Sourpuss!” You flinched, you’re going to correct him, just maybe after everything was sorted. “Look at you, you look like a brand new woman this morning. Come, sit.” Just like the day before it was definitely an order.

You started to make your way over to the other chair in his office, hoping it was slightly more comfortable than the one you chose the day before. You were halted however as Lloyd pointed to the door. You mumbled an apology before quickly closing the door behind you. As you made your way back to his desk, Lloyd came around from the other side and leaned against the front, his legs crossed at the ankle and arms crossed across his broad chest. You handed him his coffee and one of the danishes you had picked up.

He smirked as he took a whiff of the coffee. “Ahhh, nothing better than some coffee first thing in the morning is there Sourpuss? Although, I’m sure we could think of a few other pick me ups?” He waggled his eyebrows and took a long gulp of his coffee. Not sure what to do with yourself you plopped into the more comfortable looking of the two seats in his office.

You chose to ignore his innuendo, and decided to go ahead with your planned thank you so you could get out before the nosy trolls could catch you in Lloyd’s office again. “Sir.” He cut you off with tsk.

“None of that Sourpuss. The least you could do is call me by my name.” His eyes were dancing with mirth at his reply. Of course he wanted you to call him by his name when he refused to use your own.

“Mr. Hansen.” That earned another tsk, before he could interrupt you again you carried on. “Lloyd. I wanted to tell you again how much I appreciate what you did for me yesterday.” You gestured to the coffee and the danish on his desk. “I know it’s not much, but right now, until everything is sorted it’s what I can do. I’m sure Mr. Barber doesn’t come cheap so if the amount is too much, I’d like to go on a payment plan to pay you back.”

Lloyd took a sip of his drink. He watched you the entire time and caught the way your eyes flitted to his lips as he licked them. Before you could feel embarrassed he spoke. “Now see that, that’s the girl I hired. Not the sad sack I saw in the lunchroom yesterday. And that is why I am paying for the lawyer. You were becoming boring and useless to me. Now that you’ve got your spunk back we can really get the job done. That reminds me, did you get the crotch goblin squared away or are you abandoning me on this OP?”

You were shocked. Not only by Lloyd’s backhanded compliment, but his total lack of respect regarding your child. You held in the urge to roll your eyes, “Yes, sir- sorry Lloyd. He’ll be with my mother and ex while we’re gone. There won’t be any issues while we’re away.”

Lloyd placed his coffee beside him on his desk and clapped his hands together in excitement. “Excellent! We’ve got the briefing later today, it should already be in your calendar. So until then-“ the loud ringing of your phone cut Lloyd off. His expression changing from excitement to stone cold in an instant.

“Shoot.” You scrambled to get up quickly so you could answer it before it went to voicemail. In your rush you wound up stumbling into Lloyd, who caught you effortlessly.

“If you wanted to rub up against me Sourpuss, all you had to do was ask.” His eyes were twinkling as he winked at you. You felt heat spread through your entire body at his comment. Shaking it off as embarrassment you pulled your phone out of your pants pocket just as it went to voicemail. Looking at the caller ID it was your ex. Lloyd’s eyes followed yours to your phone and voiced your exact thoughts as he pulled the phone from your hand and tossed it on his desk. “Better left unanswered Sourpuss. Let Andy do all the talking to that dickwalk.”

You looked up at Lloyd through your lashes only now realizing you were still leaning against him as he held you. You were stuck, not quite sure what to do. “You’re probably right. I’ll listen to the voicemail later. I’m sorry I’m such a clutz, there’s a reason I sit behind a computer.”

Lloyd snickered at your half hearted joke, before smoothing his hands up your arms. There was a sizzle of electricity in the air. Something you hadn’t felt in a long time. Against your better judgment you let yourself lean more into Lloyds embrace.

His face momentarily shifted to shock, but was quickly replaced with a smirk. His one arm shifted to wrap around your waist, while the other came up to cup your cheek. “You're playing with fire Sourpuss.” His voice was purr, and the sound sparked something in you that had you rubbing your thighs together.

You reached up to wrap your hands around his neck, suddenly needing to pull him closer. Just as your lips were about to meet, there was a knock on the door.

And just like that the moment of tension snapped. Reality came crashing down around you. You felt mortified. Your hands moved to his chest to push him away.

There was that twinkle in his eye again as he watched your reaction. He smirked down at you, before giving you one last squeeze and releasing you. “Wrap up the assignment you’re on by end of day so we can be ready to leave tomorrow.”

“Yes, of course. I’ll uh, just get started on work then. I hope you enjoy the danish, they’re my favourite.” You gave him a broad smile before stepping out of his personal space and turning to leave his office. The person on the other side of the door was knocking again causing Lloyd to huff and yell “Just a minute!”

“Don’t forget your phone, Sourpuss.” You could hear the smirk in his voice before you turned around. Walking back towards him, you saw the phone laying on his desk. The only way to grab it was to physically lean back into Lloyd.

You stopped in front of him, hands on your hips. The look on your face was one of begrudging amusement. You held your hand out waiting for him to pass it to you. When he didn’t move, you huffed and pushed yourself into his personal space, leaning fully against him to reach around him to grab your phone.

You could feel his chest rumble in a laugh against your cheek, as you blindly reached behind him for your phone. His hand joined yours in the quest to locate your missing phone, the knocking at the door all but forgotten. At last you grabbed your phone, giving Lloyd one last look of annoyance, before turning to leave his office. “Don’t forget, briefing at 3.” You could hear the cocky smirk on his face without looking back.

You walked out of his office and past the persistent knocker (Lloyd’s assistant with coffee.) You returned to your desk to start on your day, nothing new or exciting. Just wrapping up a data dump. It was tedious work and you found your mind drifting as you went through the motions. Thinking about your boss, and the new way you were looking at him. He hadn’t changed, of that much you were sure. Maybe it was you that had changed. No longer in a loveless marriage, sticking it out for the kid, you could clearly see what was actually in front of you. Thinking back you couldn’t remember a time that Lloyd had ever been like this with anyone, yourself included. In fact, up until yesterday, you didn’t even think he knew who you were.

The day seemed to drag on with your tedious work, making you thankful for the early morning Starbucks run. At around noon you stretched and decided to take a walk during your lunch, hoping that Andy would give you a call with an update on your divorce. After a pit stop in the break room to grab a bottle of water, you headed to the bank of elevators. You hummed “Walking on Sunshine” as you waited for the doors to open to let you on.

You were so caught up in your own world you didn’t notice the shadow lurking beside you. “Going somewhere Sourpuss?”

Of course. You were trying to escape work and it was going to follow you. “Just a walk, I needed to walk away from the data dump.” You gave a small smile as you looked up at Lloyd.

He hummed as the two of you stood side-by-side waiting for the elevator, his arm brushing yours every so often. As the ding signaled the arrival of the elevator car you both stepped on together and each pushed your desired floors. Deciding to break the awkward tension that had settled since he approached you at the elevator you asked, “Where are you headed at this time? Don’t you eat?” It came out harsher than you intended.

Your question had clearly shocked Lloyd if the look on his face was anything to go by. “Meeting with the new interns or whatever. I don’t know, my assistant put it in my calendar.” He sounded entirely uninterested in what he was supposed to be doing.

You laughed as the elevator dinged again to signal Lloyd’s floor, “Just try not to call any of them a bitch and I think you’ll be fine.” You gave him a warm smile as he looked down at you.

You weren’t quite sure what to make of the look on his face. He was smirking, which wasn’t new, but on anyone else you would almost call it fondness in his expression. “I only did that once, Sourpuss, and he was being a bitch.”

He winked and strutted off the elevator while rubbing his palms together. You didn’t envy any of the fresh faced kids you saw waiting for him. They were about to get eaten alive.

The elevator doors shut and the trip down to the first floor seemed to go much quicker now that you were alone. You popped your AirPods in and began walking towards the exit. Excited for some time outside to really refresh yourself.

You made your way lazily through the busy streets, no direction in mind just wandering. As you passed the cafe you used to frequent when you first started working for Hansen your ringtone sounded in your ears. Looking down at your phone you squeaked as Andy’s called ID popped up. You hastily answered the phone not wanting to miss his progress.

“Andy! I’m so glad you called, I’m not going to lie to you, I’ve been staring at my phone all day.” You gushed into the phone.

His low laugh sounded on the other end of the line. “Well I’m sorry to have kept you so distracted. You got a few minutes to talk? You may want to sit down.”

You couldn’t decipher what he was trying to tell you with his tone. It annoyed you to no end when you had no idea what was going on. “Of course, please tell me everything.” You did a quick turn and began speed walking back to the office. At best, you hoped to make it to your car so you could at least have some privacy.

“You ready?” He laughed as you huffed, “Okay, okay. I got it. All of it. He’s signed. We just need your signature and you’re a free woman.”

You stopped short. He couldn’t be serious. “I’m gonna need you to repeat that, like maybe more than once.”

Your hands shook as you looked down at your phone. You weren’t going to have to settle, you weren’t going to have to sell your car. You could live.

“It’s over. Your divorce papers need one more signature, and this will be behind you. I’ve already sent the paperwork via courier to your office. They will wait for you to sign and then bring them right back to mine.”

You could feel the tears welling in your eyes. “It’s over? No more fighting, everything we asked for? Andy, I can’t thank you enough for this. I-I really don’t know where I’d be without you.” Without thought your feet had carried you back to your office building.

“It’s nothing. Really. I’ll let you get back to work. But call me if you need anything, okay?”

You smiled widely as you entered the building, a new skip in your step. “I don’t think I’m allowed to ask you for anything ever again at this point. Thank you Andy, talk soon.”

In your jubilation at Andy’s call your body moved on autopilot. Before you knew it you were back at your desk. You quickly checked the status of the auto-decryption you had set before leaving, and seeing it at 50% you realized there was a ton of time before you could get through the actual sifting of data. Your mouse, entirely of its own accord, went to the shared calendar, pulling up Lloyd’s. His appearance at the Intern Lunch was almost done.

Again, you found yourself at your destination with no thought to how you actually got there. The elevator dinged and the doors slid open to reveal the man you were looking for. His face was twisted in aggravation, until he saw you standing waiting for the elevator. His face softened as his eyes met yours.

Before he could give you a smart ass remark you spoke, “If you’re not busy, can we speak in your office?” His eyebrows shot up towards his hairline, and he nodded leading you to his office.

You heard the murmurs of your coworkers as you trailed behind Lloyd. Today you smirked as you followed him. Uncaring of what they thought of you.

“You seem happy,” Lloyd murmured as he shut the door behind you. “What’s gotten into you, Sourpuss?”

“Andy called…” was all you could get out.

Lloyd raised his eyebrows questioningly and you nodded. A wide grin spreading across your face. “Told ya, Sourpuss.”

Before you knew what you were doing, you had launched yourself at Lloyd. Your arms wrapped around his neck and pulled him down so you could finally taste him. He groaned as his hands framed your hips, fighting you for dominance in the kiss.

You licked into his mouth, tasting every inch before pulling away. “Thank you.” You breathed. Suddenly it hit you what you were doing, like you had been hit with an ice cold hose in the middle of summer. You stiffened in Lloyd’s embrace.

He tutted, “None of that. Not now.” His right hand moving to the back of your head to pull you back to him. You’ll tell yourself later that you tried to resist, but in reality you went willingly.

He backed himself up, while keeping a firm grip on you. As if he was afraid that you would disappear. His fear wasn’t unfounded. You were one wrong move away from bolting out that door, and you both knew it. He pulled until he was seated at his desk chair and pulled you to straddle him. His left hand palming your ass, while his right soothed through your hair softly, in stark contrast to the battle you were both waging with your tongues.

Tentatively you reached to cup his face and stroke his cheek, while your other hand wandered. You found yourself tracing the vein on his throat, the angle of his collar bone, that peeked out from beneath his loud yellow shirt. This was turning out to be one of the most intense make-out sessions you had ever had.

You pulled away finally to catch your breath while pressing your forehead to his. You smirked as you took in his breathlessness. “Just for the record I’m not sleeping with you.”

Lloyd barked out a laugh. “Yet, Sourpuss. We still have a whole trip in Oslo.” He waggled his eyebrows suggestively. At that, you huffed, with a smile spread wide across your face and playfully smacked his chest.

“I should get back to my desk.” You didn’t want to leave. But you knew, if you kept kissing this man, you’d be done for.

Lloyd nodded, bringing both of his hands up to cradle your face. He pulled you in for one more kiss, which you allowed, and sent you on your way.

“I better not see you making eyes at me during the briefing Sourpuss, or I may just take you right on the conference room table.” He winked as your embarrassment flooded through your entire body.

“I wouldn’t dream of it Mr. Hansen.” You sent him your own wink before, turning to leave his office.

Your day seemed to speed by after that. Shortly after the tryst in Lloyd’s office the courier showed up with the papers, which you happily signed and returned. You showed up early for the briefing, and were proud of yourself for how focused you managed to stay throughout as Lloyd walked through the broad strokes and everyone’s roles. He seemed particularly prickly at the CIAs involvement in this OP, but you weren’t worried.

Before you knew it the day was done. You packed up quickly, and raced to your car. Tonight was your last night with your son before the OP you wanted to cherish every moment before you left.

You picked him up some McDonald’s on the way home, as he animatedly spoke about all the new trucks they had at daycare. You smiled as you tucked him in that night, feeling on top of the world for the first time in a long time.

****

Taglists:

@stargazingfangirl18 @krirebr @rebeccapineapple @precious1610 @bambamwolf87

#the other side of tomorrow #lloyd hansen #lloyd hansen x reader #andy barber #chris evans

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thottybrucewayne · 4 months

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A LIST OF PEOPLE WHO ARE GOING TO HELL: 2024 EDITION

Every zionist, duh, but esp yall who screenshot perfectly reasonable posts and go "Um, the look at this idiot who thinks genocide is wrong" yall make my ass itch and nobody takes you seriously, MOVE. 2. The entire U.S. government but esp Joe Biden that old ass man gettin spit roasted in hell (AND NOT THE FUN KIND!) 3. DIDDY AND EVERY SINGLE PERSON THAT PROTECTED AND DEFENDED HIM. 4. Tory Lanez whole family, his mama, his daddy, his dog? All them. 5. The nonblack people who run those Rap House Tv type blogs that are clearly trying to be shade room clones. 6. People who get all their news from the Shade Room and Whatsapp, sorry auntie, I'm sick of you tellin' me COVID can be cured by sticking cloves of garlic up my nose :/ 7. Every single one of you dirtbag leftist ass people, yall do nothing for nobody except you thousands of adoring "former nazi" fans that need to be told it's okay that they still say the n word in private. 8. N.O.R.E and every single hiphop "journalist" 9. Charlemagne Tha God and Dj Envy, they know why. 10. Everyone who made Ike and Tina jokes after Tina past away. Grow up. 11. You fanfic girlies. So many of y'all are seeing the lake of fire, But esp if you donate to ao3 or own ao3 merch. Like, that is just embarrassing. 12. It's 2024, If I see you coming up here saying shit like "Miku wroke harry potter!" or " Hello Kitty wrote Ofmed, actually" I'm sending you to hell myself. 13. Booktokers? This is yall the second year on this list, tighten the fuck up and stop being weird about strange men on the internet, now. 14. People who do LITERALLY NOTHING yet try to tell other people how to be activists. You contribute nothing to any conversation you're a part of, suck my dick from the back. 15. People who stopped masking because other people were making them feel bad. Fuck your mama not being able to see your smile, PEOPLE ARE DYING???? 16. Lana Del Ray and Taylor Swift. They know exactly what they did. 17. Every white girl on twt who tried to jump me cause I said the Barbie movie is white feminism at its finest. 18. Elon, you raggedy bitch. 19. Every single man who hit on me this year who isn't one of my friends. 20. People who don't know what transmisogyny means and make that everyone else's problem. I need yall to start reading so bad it's not even funny. 21. You "goth is a feeling" people. You gonna be "feeling" that hell fire nippin' at your ass, NEXT 22. You 35 defending fanservice of high schoolers in anime/manga all day every day...yeah, just get on down there, big fella. They waiting on you. 23. Cishet Black men on tiktok and twt who make it their life's mission to make an ass of themselves for minor ducats. You are a one-man modern-day minstrel show and you will be dealt with. 24. White Tyler The Creator fans. Y'all know what you do.

Dishonorable mentions: Shojo fans who never talk about the fucked up shit in the manga they recc you because "At least its not as misogynistic as shounen!" (yes, yes it is) Fashion tiktokkers I hate so many of you its not even funny Every person who put the image of T.D. Jakes getting his doonies beat down at a Diddy party in my mind. Like I literally never needed to think about that. My dad <3 and all my friends' dads. Patricide NOW!!!!! People who are still whining about having to boycott shut upppppp god damn. People who stare at me in public. You got a fuckin problem?????

That's a wrap! Here are the lists from last year and the year before feel free to add more in the tags <3

#thotty speaks #thotty's going to hell list 2024 #thotty rants #tw abuse mention #ask to tag

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yoihoshi-maki · 4 days

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Reyna no last name was found outside a top secret World government building when she was 1 year old, years later she has now became the richest and the most feared spy in the government even tho she is only 16, with the government injecting a chemical that can give her fast healing and reflex’s, she became the top spy with the help of her friends( 5 friends) she saved the world on multiple occasions. Now with a new threat not on the world but more on Max Verstappen and his small family, the government sent her to watch over them, what she didn’t know about this, was that she will find the love of family the warmth of it and the love of an actual lover.

Name: Reyna

Age: 16

Birthday: May 21 2007

Occasition: Spy

Nationality: Korean

Knowledge: She was trained in every field of science, mathematics, languages, English, combat, and weapon training

Title: mother of women, spy of century, the most savage woman, The North Star, the she-devil,

Lines

“i don’t make the same mistake twice…..I make it four or five more times just to be sure”

“when Life gives you lemons, squeeze them in people’s eyes”

“its called karma and it’s pronounced ‘‘haha fuck you!’l

“ you know……slapping is an option….…right?”

“ I am her favourite godmother go suck a dick if you think otherwise”

“remember when I said Oh I am so in love with you?……..No okay me either”

“ I don’t care I claim these People as my children”

“ Twinkle twinkle little Shit I hope you get hit by a truck “

“ I know how to swear in 21 different languages “

“ you would think people would invent fly cars but no we are stuck on the ground “

“ you want my honest opinion …..you look like a rat”

“ ……SHIT IS THAT A ROCH…Oh wait it’s just you”

“ So who’s dieing today”

“ someone better being dying because it better be worthy of me stopping my show”

“ Hold on guys I need to take a shit”

“ Well, you have two choices, either you tell me who is sending you or I could stick this thing, sooooooooooo far up your ass that your whole generation line will feel it every time they take a shit got it?”

“ your too kind to me…”

“ you love me?…..”

“ let my family go!”

“ P I am back with new stories!”

“ thanks…..dad”

“ mom what are you doing?”

“ max and Kelly adopted me so I will forever love them “

Aiden: I have an idea, how about we kill them

Reyna: Aiden no

Aiden:Aiden Yes!

Reyna: Did it hurt when you fell-

Lando : From heaven? Wow, I didn’t think you were such a flirt-

Reyna: No, I meant when you fell down the stairs.

Lando: ...

Reyna: You just laid there for 3 minutes .

Reyna : What’s the dumbest thing you believed as a child?

Lando: That naptime was a punishment.

Oliver: what’s on your mind love?

Reyna:………… arson

Oliver: okay that’s enough phone for today

Lando: I can't imagine what Reyna is planning. But I can tell you two things. We won't like it and it won't be legal.

*reyna in the back holding a pan over her head ready to smack an opponent*

Emma: drop it!

Reyna: b-but-

Emma *glares*

Reyna: your no fun* throws the pan away hitting the guy by mistake and walked away*

Reyna : When I get Doordash I order 20 Cheeseburgers at a time and heat them up throughout the week so that I don’t have to pay the delivery fee multiple times.

Oliver: I hope you understand how food poisoning works.

Reyna : I hope food poisoning understands how I work. I never met a burger i couldn’t eat.

*reyna walking around with Penelope*

Reyna: so you see P, that’s why you shouldn’t date yet

Penelope: I am only 6

Reyna: oh….well never too early!

Oliver: you need a kiss?

Reyna:*hugging him tightly* yes please

Reyna:*beating a enemy agent in the verstappen home*

Max:*walks in* what are you doing

Reyna: preparing for when P gets a boyfriend

Max: let me join

Max:*cuddling with Reyna* your so cute

Reyna: *half sleeping* I could break your spine in 51 different ways

Max: I know 🥰

Reyna: so you’re telling me that these girls find a rich person and fell in love for the first time?

Penelope and oille:*nods*

Reyna: sign me up

Oille sighing dreamily with a love sick smile: I think I am in love

Auther leclerc: call the doctor

Reyna: *watching Emma holding a brick over her head ready to hit the ex boyfriend of Kelly* “ drop it”

Emma:*pouts* but-

Reyna:*glares* if I couldn’t then you can’t

Emma: asshole

Reyna: * walking in the wrong apartment, stopped dead in her tracks seeing two people having their’fun’* I am so sorry!!! KEEP MAKING BABIES I SUPPOSE!!!* runs away*

Max: Reyna Verstappen! Come down here

Reyna: ………I swear I didn’t eat the last donuts

Oille: I love you

Reyna: thanks bro I love you too

Reyna: Can I have 2 straws with that milkshake?

Oille : Aww-

Reyna: With 2 straws, I can drink it double as fast!

Ollie: when I look in your eyes I see little stars

Reyna: ………..thanks?

Ollie: Are you ready to commit?

Reyna : Like, a crime or a relationship?

Ollie: So... what would you do if you were in bed with me?

Reyna : Depends. Is your bed comfortable?

Ollie: Yes.

Reyna : I'd sleep.

Ollie: Reyna and I are no longer friends.

Reyna : OLLIE THAT IS THE WORST WAY TO TELL PEOPLE THAT WE’RE DATING!

Ollie: I’m in love with you.

Reyna : We called off the prank war last night at midnight, dork.

Ollie: I know.

Reyna : Ah. Okay. Um. Cool. Neat. Very cool. Cool. Cool. Coolcoolcool-

Ollie: My hands are cold.

Reyna : Here, let me hold them.

Ollie: My lips are cold too.

Reyna : *covers Ollie's mouth with their hand*

Reyna : I am so cool. I am an absolute Chad. I am the epitome of coolness and awesomeness—

Ollie: Hi.

Reyna : *melts down in a flustered heap of softness*

Reyna : I truly go into housewife mode when I'm someone's soulmate- like, I'll make you pancakes and bacon every morning.

Ollie: This is a lie.

Ollie: I'm literally dating them. This is a lie.

Ollie: THEY DON'T EVEN KNOW HOW TO COOK A PANCAKE, WHAT IS THIS.

Enemy agent: *tells his sad life story* I wish I was dead

Everyone:…………

Reyna: *crossed arms* I could throw you off a building if you wish?

Everyone: !?!! what no! Reyna! Reyna Verstappen! Baby no!

Ollie: baby you need therapy

Reyna: what! He wanted to die I am just giving him a push!

Max: well she is right-

Everyone: Max no!

Kelly: Max Verstappen!

Max: *hands Reyna a ring* I need you to promise this to me, that you will wait until your marriage to have………sex

Reyna: I am only 16!?

Max: promise me

Reyna: fine

Max: good I will be doing this for P too so-

Emma: we have something to tell you…

Reyna: who died?

Emma: what-

Reyna: you’re pregnant!?

Emma: how-

Reyna: is someone in the hospital?

Emma: you got it on the second try-

Reyna: I AM GOING TO BE A GOD MOTHER!?

Emma: how- yes

Reyna: I am a trained spy I know everything

#f1 x reader #carlos sainz x reader #ollie bearman #ollie bearman x reader #silly #formula 1 #f1family #charle leclerc x reader #max verstappen x reader #landonorrisxreader #stuff #max verstappen

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greytongue · 10 months

Text

random prompt: thigh riding

leon got stressed. a lot. god, when wasn’t he stressed? with work and dealing with the government’s bullshit, he was always tense. so to relieve his physical troubles he would ask, albeit awkwardly, for your affection.

you always happily obliged, you knew this poor boy was touch starved. some days you’d massage out his sore and overworked muscles, watch a movie, nap together. or some days it would get… heated.

today was one of those days. leon had a particularly rough week and he had asked for your touch, and you happily agreed. it started innocent enough, both of you on the couch hugging onto each other sitting upright. gently caressing each other, just feeling and mapping out each others skin. you started kissing, then he started gripping your ass and thighs, and now you found yourself sitting in his lap, your arms wrapped around his neck and his hands all on you. both of you were utterly breathless, you’d been making out for what felt like an eternity and you’ve barely given each other a break for air.

your tongues intertwined, his hands rubbed and squeezed at your hips encouragingly. you sighed into the kiss, you could feel how warm his hands were through your clothes. a nice tingle resonated in your body. you loved moments like this with him.

suddenly, leon decided to quickly take your bottom lip between his teeth before trailing soft kisses down your jaw onto your neck. everything you were feeling felt so heavenly and right, it shocked you how good he could always make you feel.

your head lolled to the side as he kissed and sucked on the sensitive skin of your throat. he found your pulse and focused on it, trailing his tongue on the area.

“shit, leon…” you shivered delightfully at the attention, hands gripping at his shoulders.

you feel the vibration of a hum on your skin and then he’s gripping your hips and pulling you closer to him. the sudden action caused your crotch to rub against his thigh, which in turn brought unexpected pleasure. you inhaled sharply, the feeling shot through your core and it forced a strained moan out of you.

leon halted his movements, as did you. slowly, he looked up as you hesitantly pushed back a little to look at him.

you stared at each in silence for a bit before an apology spilled from you, “i… i’m sorry, it’s just when you-“, leon interrupted you with a look and a smirk.

“no need to apologize, babe. that feel good?” his hands massaged at your hips again, this time it felt much more sensual, especially with that smirk on is face.

you gulped and nodded your head. leon shook his own, “words, babydoll.”

you felt your face heating up, was he seriously going to make you say it?

your eyes went down, trained on his lap, “yes… it felt good. really good.”

“you want me to do it again?”

“please.”

that’s all he needed.

one of his hands came up to your head to pull you into another heated kiss. you enthusiastically returned it, tilting your head to deepen it the best you could. his other hand guided your hips to roll, the friction was absolutely amazing. you grunted into the kiss, your arms strewn around his neck, hands gripping at the fabric covering his shoulder blades.

his hand fell from the back of your head and both of his hands were on your hips, making your hips grind hard and faster. you couldn’t help but whine, the pleasure was immense and his thigh was rubbing right where you needed him. you could feel his thigh moving with the rolls of your hips to encourage more friction, and by god was it working. not to mention his boner poking through his sweats.

the kiss became increasingly uncoordinated, but you both were loving it. he drank up all the moans and groans that left your throat, as did you from him. feeling that familiar knot of pleasure slowly begin to form in the pit of your stomach, you had to break away from the kiss.

you rested your forehead against his, panting heavily, hips still grinding away. your eyes were shut tight, focused on the pleasure and leon stared in wonder at your expression. he loved making you feel this good.

“leon,” you gasped out, “i don’t think i can last much- ah, shit!“, a particularly rough jerk of his hips interrupted you. he couldn’t help himself.

“mm, then don’t wait, baby. cum for me.” his hand came up to your jaw, moving your head so your throat was exposed and once again resumed the attention he had given before there. his tongue circled newly formed hickeys, leaving love bites and suckling on your carotid.

you hung your head back as the added sensations built up, strained moans spilled from you. all it took was just a few more hard thrusts before the band holding your pleasure snapped, and your orgasm washed over you. you cried out as the feeling numbed your senses and your thighs shook, collapsing onto leon completely. he had you, keeping you upright and assisting your shaking hips to keeping rolling on his leg to help ride out the orgasm.

once you collected yourself enough, you felt leon softly stroking your hair and whispering sweet nothings into your ear.

“that’s it, i’ve got you. breathe.”

you sighed into his neck, finally satisfied. you felt yourself drifting off.

“tired?” he pressed a kiss to your temple.

you nodded, stifling a yawn.

“alright, c’mon. off to bed with you.” he carefully picked you up, heading to the bedroom.

you hummed, but a thought crosses your mind.

“mm, wait. what about you?” you were so tired you nearly forgot about the hard on you’d been riding on for the past five minutes.

“don’t worry about it, you need your rest.” he mumbled, a slight rasp to his words.

“alright, well… i’m totally fucking you later.” you sighed comfortably as he laid you down on your shared bed. he smiled, petting your hair back before reaching for a wet wipe to clean you up.

“whatever you’d like, pumpkin.”

#leon kennedy #leon kennedy smut #smut fanfiction #resident evil 4 #resident evil #resident evil series #resident evil leon #bad fanfiction #smut #leon kennedy x you #leon kennedy x reader

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batmanisagatewaydrug · 1 month

Note

Top 5 comics that aren't bat related?

GOD okay I'm admittedly so so behind on my non-Bat comic reading because trying to read Everything Published In A 15 Year Period is fucking TIME CONSUMING, but! but but but!!! I have some fun ones!! also as always these are not in ANY particular order!

Thirsty Mermaids (Kat Leyh, 2021)

first off: yes we are including graphic novels! that's just a honkin big comic! nobody @ me! anyway, I read Thirsty Mermaids in one sitting on an airplane earlier this year and it was delightful. it follows three mermaid besties who turn themselves into humans and go ashore in search of booze, only to get stuck when the party mage can't remember how to turn them back. what follows is a mix of shenanigans and genuinely heartwarming character development as the trio cope with being landlocked and try to survive capitalism. there's a high potential for a story like this to get cloyingly oversentimental, but Thirsty Mermaids struck the right balance for me the whole way through and never went overboard.

also, the character designs are soooooo fun. look at them!

2. My Lesbian Experience With Loneliness (Nagata Kabi, trans. Jocelyne Allen 2016)

MLEWL is one of those books that actually completely lives up to the hype and then some, and it totally knocked me on my ass the first time I read it. I didn't really know what to expect going in, but I was totally blown away by how boldly Nagata's willing to share the ugliest parts of her life through this reflection. it's so much more than romance and yearning (and that isn't even really resolved by the book's end! Nagata continues to struggle with interpersonal relationships in later books, which you should also read!), and it felt really refreshing to see such an honest depiction of how much being depressed and anxious and insecure can just fucking suck. but at the same time, Nagata's ability to turn all of that into art and process what she's experienced in a really levelheaded way as she finds the will to grow and change is really affirming.

I have to give a special note of appreciation to the actual sex scene and how intimacy is negotiated between Nagata and the sex worker she hires, especially the ultimate realization that sex is just an act and losing her virginity didn't really change anything about why she was unhappy in her life. as a sex educator, I really appreciated the honesty and sheer practicality of how it was all framed.

3. Nimona (ND Stevenson, 2015)

hi okay yes basic bitch alert I'M AWARE, but I reread Nimona last year to remind myself of why I didn't want to watch the Netflix adaptation and I was so right for that, because OG Nimona fucks so much harder. it's heartfelt but also chaotic and violent and funny and deeply jaded; I think when I mentioned it in my monthly reading synopsis here I described it as weird art for pissed off queer people by a weird pissed off queer person. and I stand by that! if you haven't read it already or if you haven't in a while, it's right there waiting for you with an open invitation to burn the entire corrupt government to the ground.

I know the word feral is overused and therefore cringe but christ, comic Nimona is feral. come on, man. just let her kill your ex. he's a cop.

4. Superman Smashes the Klan (Gene Luen Yang and Gurihiru, 2020)

I had to get one DC comic in here, sue me! it's not Batman-related at all! it's a really rad Superman story that takes place in the 1940s and loosely reimagines an old radio serial, "Clan of the Fiery Cross," the was pretty much a 16-part hit piece on the KKK that was hugely successful in tarnishing their reputation and getting membership to drop. how cool is that? in this version we follow Lee family, Chinese-Americans who have just moved to Metropolis and are met with harassment from the local Klansmen, contrasted with Clark, early in his hero career, still figuring out the full extent of his alien abilities. you get some really nice parallel storytelling between the Lee kids, Tommy and Roberta, exploring what it means to be part of two different cultures at the same time Clark is going through something similar figuring out how to be a representative of two totally different planets, and it all works out in a way that's really sweet. now that I have a friend who's a baby I can't wait until he's old enough to get a copy.

it's an extremely comic book-y comic but in, like, the best way possible.

5. Hawkeye (Matt Fraction and David Aja, 2012-2015)

I can't believe I almost forgot to list tumblr darling Matt Fraction's Hawkeye! what do I even say about this series that hasn't been said already? I love the way Clint Barton is a sadsack piece of shit who's repeatedly ruined his own life, and I love rooting for him anyway because he's just trying so goddamn hard. and also because there's a teenage girl who stole his name and gimmick bullying him the whole time. (Kate Bishop you are everything to me and you will always be famous.) there are costumes and crime fighting but it's first and foremost a slice of life about a life that fucking sucks but keeps on trucking anyway, and that's so up my alley it's not even funny. a lot of the humor probably feels dated now but fuck it, the series is iconic for a reason.

MCU, eat your heart out.

bonus because I wrote out the whole thing and then decided I wanted to include a different one: Paper Girls (Brian K. Vaughan and Cliff Chiang, 2015-2019)

I'd be lying if I said that the thing about this series that I love first and foremost wasn't the art, because Chiang's art is breathtaking and I'll read anything ever if he does the art on it. but it's also just a super cool twisty, time-bending story about four girls getting roped into some high sci-fi bullshit when they're just trying to finish up their paper routes the morning after Halloween and having everything go to hell around them. I really respect a series that is committed to being weird and doesn't really care if you don't understand what's going on for a decent chunk of the plot, especially because it all comes together in a way that's pretty satisfying. waiting to read the whole series in one big run once it was all published so that I could track all the little hints and clues and things coming together across time travel bullshit was mwah, delicious.

also more than anything it's a story about how you Do Not fuck with 12 year old girls, especially in packs, because they're metal as hell, and I'm really about that.

#bookblr

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