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#yes this actually happened
sp1c3-r4ck-synd1c4t3 · 9 months
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i was explaining my sexuality to my coworkers abt how im both asexual and into kink culture, and after a minute my coworker said "Oh! It's like, you don't play the FNaF games, but you like the lore!" and i haven't recovered
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sleepis4theweak · 2 months
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This is how I got my reputation as the chill one in the group...
(I was concerned of course, but I mean she was there... fine... and I assumed they were gonna continue with the story so I had 0 reaction)
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silvermun · 1 year
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just typical gawain and lancelot endeavours
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dragonpyre · 16 days
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There's advanced reading group in elementary school and then there's "you and literally one other kid get sent to a study room to read a high school level book" reading group.
And then you wonder why I'm so high achieving...
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spacewr3ck51 · 2 months
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Mulder: it sounds to me like that's witchcraft or maybe some sorcery that you're looking for there.
Scully: No I don't think it's witchcraft, Mulder, or sorcery. I've had a look around, and I don't see any evidence of anything that warrants that kind of suspicion.
Mulder: Yeah, well, maybe you don't know what you're looking for.
Scully: Like evidence of conjury or the black arts or shamanism, divination, Wicca, or any kind of pagan or neo pagan practice, charms, cards, familiars, bloodstones, or hex signs or any of the ritual tableaux associated with the occult, santeria, vodoun, macumba, or any high or low magic?
Mulder: Scully...
Scully: Yes?
Mulder: Marry me.
Scully: I was hoping for something a little more helpful.
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locomotive-idiot · 11 months
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goin for a swim brb
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blub,, glub,bg,,
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fanonical · 8 months
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fandom: hey, let's make up an oc to use in our fic! fandom: ...wait, they seriously didn't make our collective oc canon? fandom: this show fucking sucks
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iammoonyschild · 4 months
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marauders era as convos I've had with my brother pt. 1
Sirius: *Sends Regulus a picture of his debit card*
Regulus: YOU BETTER NOT BE USING MY DEBIT CARD
Sirius: I'm not
Sirius: I just put it in my group chat
Regulus: You better be kidding
Sirius: I am
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"wow your english is really good"
well yeah, i'm gay and european it's the only thing i'm good at.
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piastricism · 1 year
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pierre: *calls charles*
charles, answering the phone: hello?
pierre: i'll call you back later okay?
pierre: *hangs up*
charles: ?????
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Accidentally sold the Dark Moon Greatsword -the sword that’s been in My Wife’s (™️) family for generations, the sword that is given to the consorts of the Princesses of Caria as a weddding gift, the sword that was gifted to ME after an arduous journey that took a very LONG time.
My wife - the Princess of the Dark moon, the Queen of the eternal unfeeling night, the one who was brave enough to take the Dark Path (™️), who plotted an assassination against her own family, planned to overthrow a god, killed said god’s divine messengers, willingly had a rune carved into her flesh to kill her body, and who risked both friend, family, and herself to achieve it all - is understandably upset.
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sncwonthebeach · 1 year
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me, messing with the oujia board whilst watching @wearewatcher
the board: THE-TALL-ONE-ANNOYS-ME
me, unphased at this point: "he tends to have that effect on people"
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bunvert · 5 months
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I dont think any event is going down in the elf cop fanclub history like me in the Sondheim on Friday yelling ‘JAVERT SUPREMACY’ at the top of my lungs in the middle of the front row when luke kempner addressed the audience in a charity speech asking who their favourite character was because Stewart and I waved at each other right at the end of the bows a solid 50 seconds prior and I lost any modicum of ability to feel embarrassment.
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an-theduckin · 4 months
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Me: I should probably write more of Mark fanfic. Or write another twomp oneshot!-
My brain: write a dramatic short story about a bacteria who watched all his friends get killed by antibiotics and then become antibiotic resistant to get revenge
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aeriniee · 3 months
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mom: you should study korean.
dad: you shouldn't be telling her to study a new language when you didn't even learn English⸺
me: you shouldn't be talking because you didn't learn it either.
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kaylakenobi · 1 year
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Pt. 2 of weird things me and my friends have said as Star Wars characters:
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Obi-Wan: You're leading us astray just like Satan
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Luke: This is why we need Jesus, because we don't know where we're going. And we're gay.
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Anakin: Jesus died so I should die too
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Sabine: This men thing doesn't seem to be working
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Han: You should be honored to get infected by me
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Chopper: repent ye repent ye for ye are gay
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Anakin: Hey I know I'm not supposed to do this, but I'm doing it anyway
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Ahsoka: I don't have a train of thought, it's more like a car crash of thought
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Anakin: I would put Florence in danger but I would never purposefully hurt Florence
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Leia: I'm definitely not lying straight to your face.
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Zeb: it's just a big ol' illegal family.
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Obi-Wan: *sigh* if only hitting my elbow on a bench would kill me.
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Caleb: I have no F's and one D!
Ahsoka: Thats what she said.
Caleb: ShUt Up
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Rex: If I have to eat then you have to eat
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R2-D2: who needs to cleanse the bad vibes when you can make them
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Obi-Wan: did you fix your shoe?
Anakin: Yes.
Obi-Wan: does it feel better?
Anakin: ... No.
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Anakin: I should be charged for attempted manslaughter, not abuse. There is a difference and you need to get it right.
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Hera: I will smack you upside the head eith your own book.
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Ezra: I WILL UNTIE YOUR SHOELACES
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Han: I wish this chocolate milk had drugs in it
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Cody: Let's see what damage we have sustained today.
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Mon Mothma: I swear they can come up with any excuse they want I’ll just uno reverse their ass
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Obi-Wan: NO COMMITING SEWER SLIDE ON LIVE TELEVISION
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Anakin: I can barely remember to brush my teeth, I can't run a country
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Cassian: Why be vibing when I can be dying
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Padme: this car makes us late I'm gonna kill myself
Sabe: me too
Padme: aww no you can't kill yourself
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Sabine: So I have a conspiracy theory that you're Remy the rat from ratatouille
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Sabine: Look it's a twink
Ezra: I wear a crop one time and I get called a whore
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Kanan: some people do the deed, I do the die
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Luke: I'm only gay for my friends.... that are guys
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Anakin: My response to that entirely depends on whether you are going to shoot me or yourself
Obi wan: I haven't decided yet, maybe both
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Echo: *sees fives trip and fall into a wall* are you okay?
Fives: Shut up, you interrupted me seducing the wall
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Rex walking into the 501st laying crystals on the floor in a circle: Pick up your cult we have work to do
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Ahsoka: How do you know?
Anakin: Megamind told me in a dream
Ahsoka: .... good enough for me
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