i was explaining my sexuality to my coworkers abt how im both asexual and into kink culture, and after a minute my coworker said "Oh! It's like, you don't play the FNaF games, but you like the lore!" and i haven't recovered
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Mulder: it sounds to me like that's witchcraft or maybe some sorcery that you're looking for there.
Scully: No I don't think it's witchcraft, Mulder, or sorcery. I've had a look around, and I don't see any evidence of anything that warrants that kind of suspicion.
Mulder: Yeah, well, maybe you don't know what you're looking for.
Scully: Like evidence of conjury or the black arts or shamanism, divination, Wicca, or any kind of pagan or neo pagan practice, charms, cards, familiars, bloodstones, or hex signs or any of the ritual tableaux associated with the occult, santeria, vodoun, macumba, or any high or low magic?
Mulder: Scully...
Scully: Yes?
Mulder: Marry me.
Scully: I was hoping for something a little more helpful.
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Accidentally sold the Dark Moon Greatsword -the sword that’s been in My Wife’s (™️) family for generations, the sword that is given to the consorts of the Princesses of Caria as a weddding gift, the sword that was gifted to ME after an arduous journey that took a very LONG time.
My wife - the Princess of the Dark moon, the Queen of the eternal unfeeling night, the one who was brave enough to take the Dark Path (™️), who plotted an assassination against her own family, planned to overthrow a god, killed said god’s divine messengers, willingly had a rune carved into her flesh to kill her body, and who risked both friend, family, and herself to achieve it all - is understandably upset.
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Pt. 2 of weird things me and my friends have said as Star Wars characters:
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Obi-Wan: You're leading us astray just like Satan
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Luke: This is why we need Jesus, because we don't know where we're going. And we're gay.
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Anakin: Jesus died so I should die too
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Sabine: This men thing doesn't seem to be working
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Han: You should be honored to get infected by me
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Chopper: repent ye repent ye for ye are gay
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Anakin: Hey I know I'm not supposed to do this, but I'm doing it anyway
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Ahsoka: I don't have a train of thought, it's more like a car crash of thought
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Anakin: I would put Florence in danger but I would never purposefully hurt Florence
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Leia: I'm definitely not lying straight to your face.
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Zeb: it's just a big ol' illegal family.
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Obi-Wan: *sigh* if only hitting my elbow on a bench would kill me.
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Caleb: I have no F's and one D!
Ahsoka: Thats what she said.
Caleb: ShUt Up
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Rex: If I have to eat then you have to eat
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R2-D2: who needs to cleanse the bad vibes when you can make them
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Obi-Wan: did you fix your shoe?
Anakin: Yes.
Obi-Wan: does it feel better?
Anakin: ... No.
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Anakin: I should be charged for attempted manslaughter, not abuse. There is a difference and you need to get it right.
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Hera: I will smack you upside the head eith your own book.
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Ezra: I WILL UNTIE YOUR SHOELACES
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Han: I wish this chocolate milk had drugs in it
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Cody: Let's see what damage we have sustained today.
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Mon Mothma: I swear they can come up with any excuse they want I’ll just uno reverse their ass
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Obi-Wan: NO COMMITING SEWER SLIDE ON LIVE TELEVISION
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Anakin: I can barely remember to brush my teeth, I can't run a country
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Cassian: Why be vibing when I can be dying
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Padme: this car makes us late I'm gonna kill myself
Sabe: me too
Padme: aww no you can't kill yourself
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Sabine: So I have a conspiracy theory that you're Remy the rat from ratatouille
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Sabine: Look it's a twink
Ezra: I wear a crop one time and I get called a whore
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Kanan: some people do the deed, I do the die
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Luke: I'm only gay for my friends.... that are guys
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Anakin: My response to that entirely depends on whether you are going to shoot me or yourself
Obi wan: I haven't decided yet, maybe both
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Echo: *sees fives trip and fall into a wall* are you okay?
Fives: Shut up, you interrupted me seducing the wall
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Rex walking into the 501st laying crystals on the floor in a circle: Pick up your cult we have work to do
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Ahsoka: How do you know?
Anakin: Megamind told me in a dream
Ahsoka: .... good enough for me
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