#yes we skipped hercules zero to hero but only cuz that wasn't on disney plus

[commonstarguy]

This Weekend I got together with friends and viewers in my stream Discord and we marathoned every Disney 2d animated sequel back-to-back

It was a long journey. Almost 40 hours of continuous content. We reached mountainous highs and depressing lows. We went into it knowing it was a bad idea. By the end of it, we were braindead mush. This was an entirely optional experience for everyone except myself, and yet I had the constant companionship of several good friends. None of us will ever be the same.

I challenged myself to write at least 2 to 3 sentences of reviews on every movie, in order to keep myself engaged. As the nights went on, the reviews got longer and more unhinged. I gave myself the criteria of one favorite character, one least favorite character, and a numerical score out of 10. Under the cut, I’m going to put every review I made. I encourage my other viewing companions to share their experiences/ the memes we made along the way if they wish.

The Rescuers Down Under: It's very pretty to watch. There is not much else memorable about it other than the freaky mouse hospital scene. Favorite character: Joanna the lizard. Least favorite character: Wilbur the seagull. 7/10.

Aladdin: The Return of Jafar: Holy shit what an immediate downgrade compared to the last movie. None of the characters were the same people as the first movie I swear to god and the Genie is surprisingly racist. The best character was Jafar who is somehow more competent as a bad guy now and has a pretty kickass song. Favorite character: Rajah the tiger. Least favorite character: The Genie. 3/10.

Aladdin and The King of Thieves: The animation was so much better than the last movie and I feel a little spoiled. Best part of this movie was Aladdin's hot dad. Most of this movie could have been cut for brevity. This marathon is brought to you by Sand! It's everywhere, get used to it! Favorite character: Cassim, Aladdin’s hot dad. Least favorite character: The other 39 thieves. 5/10

Beauty and the Beast: The Enchanted Christmas: Belle is the worst character in her own movie and they've ruined the message of the original. Apparently every piece of furniture, bellows, and axe has a human soul and the implications of this are horrifying. This movie shouldn't have existed, read The West Wing fanfiction instead. Favorite character: Tim Curry. Least favorite character: Belle. 3/10.

Beauty and the Beast: Belle's Magical World: I paid attention to this one the least because it's quite painful. They've run out of everything and this is the cow that Disney milked dry in the 90s. I had no favorite characters in this one. Least favorite character: Webster the book. Each segment was 20 minutes but they were still too long. 1/10

Pocahontas II: Journey to a New World: The animation is such a step up from the Beauty and the Beast movies, and definitely some of the best of any of the home releases. There is no true way to ignore the historical context and white-washing, but if this were a standalone story was not half-bad. John Rowlfe is a better boyfriend than John Smith do not fight me on this. Favorite character: The drunk dog. Least favorite character: Every Englishman. 6/10

The Lion King II: Simba's Pride: This movie made my laptop overheat and die for a bit. It goes so fucking hard, it has a lot of intense scenes throughout the movie even very early on, and some legit fuckin songs. I can see how this would have made a lot of kids furries. Disappointed that Simba never came out as LGBT, but I won't rush him on this he only just overcame his prejudice. Favorite character: Zira. Least favorite character: The green-screen fire. 8/10 only because it killed my computer for half an hour.

Fantasia 2000: I'm definitely biased but this one is my favorite so far. Special shoutouts to Pines of Rome, Rhapsody in Blue, and the Firebird Suite. I could have done without the celebrity comedy bits, but overall there wasn't a single segment I didn't like. Favorite character: Every main character in Rhapsody in Blue. Least favorite character: Steve Martin. Our first and only 10/10!!

An Extremely Goofy Movie: I've never seen the first movie yet I think I feel more strongly about this one that I think I would have about the first movie. Goofy is such a good dad well he tries to be even if he doesn't do a good job he's doing his best. But geeze, the 2nd hand embarrassment is strong in this one. Favorite character: Goofy. Least favorite character: Bradley Uppercrust III. 9/10

The Little Mermaid II: Return to The Sea: At this point I had my first cup of coffee and my ADHD medication (Adderall). Despite that, I had such a hard time concentrating on this one  . I remember more and more of this movie as I watch but I know I will forget it once we're done. Favorite character:Clancy Brown. Least favorite characters: Tip and Dash. 7.5/10

Lady and the Tramp II: Scamp's London Adventure: I was informed halfway though the movie that there was never any London in the title and I feel betrayed. We spent the entire movie talking about our own pets instead of paying attention, we were that bored. These "I don't wanna listen to my parents who were the protagonists of the first movie because I'm rebellious and need to be free" plots are starting to get stale and I fear this is not the last one. Favorite character: Otis the Chinese Crested Chihuahua. Least favorite character: Scamp. 4/10

Cinderella II: Dreams Come True: I might be the only person here able to tell you what this movie is about, everyone else's brains are mush. This movie was very sweet, actually, like it might have just been made for cash but it's got some very nice moments even if they're inconsequential, and I guess you could say they're forgettable if I weren't still on an Adderall rush. People forget just how strong Cinderella's personality is and kinda just flanderize her as boring. Leaps and bounds better than Belle's Magical World, even if the concepts are mostly the same. I didn't really like that cats subplots. Favorite characters: Anastasia and the Baker. Least favorite character: Human Jaq. 7/10

Peter Pan: Return to Neverland:

Technically this is a war movie. Not as engaging as I remember it being when I was a kid. Though I appreciate this having more of a character-driven story with an arc and development from Jane. Too much spitting. These movies don't have the teeth to kill off their villains anymore. Favorite character: Can’t say I had one. Least favorite character: The skunk lost boy. 5/10

The Hunchback of Notre Dame II: It's beautiful on the inside there's more to life than just appearances you have to look past ugly things to find the true beauty inside do you get it it's beautiful on the inside! I can feel the toll this marathon is taking on my fucking brain, I can't use my dick anymore. After a string of such good movies so far, this was an immediate and noticeable downgrade to the animation quality of Aladdin and the King of Thieves. Quasimodo learned in the last movie that he doesn't need a romantic love interest in order to be loved by his friends, in this movie he learns that a (frankly bland) love interest will make him happy. They line Quasi up to get his heart broken and that makes me angry. At least Tom Hulce is a good singer. Favorite character: Esmerelda. Least favorite character: Non-deformed Quasimodo. 2/10

Tarzan and Jane: Only 10 minutes into the movie I wanted off of Michael Eisner's Wild Ride. It only got worse from there, as it stretched out vignettes of "plot" for the next hour. The only reason it's not lower is because the animation is not as bad as Belle's Magical World. It's stiff and TV-quality and full of continuity errors but not as ugly as BMW. This has become a psychological test of survival. Favorite character: Captain Walter White. Least favorite characters: Every Englishman. 3/10 but only because it's not as ugly as it could have been, and more engaging to the watchers than the last 3 movies.

101 Dalmatians 2: Patch's London Adventure: This time it was in London! This movie was fine. It didn't grab our attention in the latter half the same way previous movies have. It was fairly bland, the repeating puppy effect was more impressive when it was made in a time before computers. I wish Cruella got a redemption arc where she learns to channel her Dalmatians/spots obsession into art as an outlet. Favorite character: Thunderbolt. Least favorite character: Lil Lightning. 4/10

The Jungle Book 2: During this movie I went to go lie down and ended up passing out for 3 hours. It was my first and only nap. They should take this gun and shoot Shere Khan. My knowledge from here on out relies on previous watches of the movie when I was a kid. This is just a co-op campaign on the Jungle Book. Favorite character: Bagheera. Least favorite character: Ranjan. 5/10 

Atlantis Milo's Return: Another package film of 3 episodes from the failed TV show, but I definitely think that this worked better than other examples. We zoned the fuck out a lot so it wasn't super engaging but we had more fun with it than others. At least they try something new and different in each episode rather than take place in the same location with the same overdone plots, like most of these. The body count returns! (We had been keeping a count of how many intentional fatalities there were in these movies) I'm taking points off for feet. Favorite character: Vinny. Least favorite character: Carnaby the Doug Dimmadome. 5/10 

Stitch! The Movie: This was a cute and fun little continuation of the Lilo & Stitch story. We said this was gonna be the one where people went to take a nap, but everyone was actually hooked. The TV animation quality has improved considerably since the days of the Aladdin sequels, with the highlight being Experiment 221's electricity. It's just short enough to feel like we hit each plot point at a good pace. Favorite character: Nani (I just like her :) ). Least favorite character: Myrtle. 9/10

The Lion King 1 1/2: We had a holy experience with this movie. We remembered well why this movie was our gay awakening-- Timon and Pumbaa are the power couple this marathon deserves. Animation is super high quality, songs are catchy (and the stuff they shelled out the rights for is fucking incredibly), and we were consistently laughing from start to finish. We came to more than a few realizations over the course of this movie, and some of them were actually quite horrifying. Such as Pumbaa killing 60 animals with a single fart and quadrupling the body count. The only thing that keeps this from a 10/10 is a reliance on fart jokes. Favorite character: The grubs. Least favorite character: WDW forum user bigbadwolf circa 2004. 9.8/10 but I did have to dock another point because Timon says a slur (”What do you call a hyena with half a brain? Gifted!”).

Mulan II: They did Shang so fucking wrong in this one. The stakes are so much lower than the first movie that the conflict is manufactured over the most asinine things for the sake of conflict. The absolute worst is Mushu though, who they made a bitter manipulator. The linework is fine, but every movement and expression is over-animated. The best way I can describe this movie is if you injected toon logic into Mulan. The princesses were cute. Favorite character: Unhinged Shang. Least favorite character: Mushu. 3.5/10

Tarzan II: The Legend Begins: This movie shouldn't have had this plot. It looks better than Mulan 2 visually. It did not have enough plot to keep me invested but everyone else tells me it's good. I didn’t even know enough to write down a favorite or least favorite character. 4/10 

Lilo and Stitch 2: Stitch Has a Glitch: It's Lilo & Stitch, we can't really find a way to dislike it. The animation's really good, miles better than the TV quality stuff even, you could have released this theatrically. Even though this is the darkest sequel in a while, it still manages to be cute, funny, and heart-warming. Oh David, that poor little simp. Favorite character: Stitch and Lilo. Least favorite character: None. 8.5/10

Kronk's New Groove: Another package of 3 different stories. This one lost the most points out of any movie after the initial appraisal for feet, armpit hair, and multiple instances of naked old people. Catgirl Yzma was not well received. They tried too hard to un-queer-code Kronk, which goes against the message of being true to your groove. At least the animation is theatrical quality. I left in the middle of this movie to go make soup for dinner and when I came back everyone was yelling about something awful that had happened. Favorite character: Red Pill (Kuzco). Least favorite character: Rudy. 3/10

Bambi II: The Great Prince of the Forest: I was too focused on my soup to pay attention to the boring story. It's cute critters being cute in the forest. I know I reached the brink of exhaustion once more when I thought that Bambi and his dad were Benrey and Breen. I hate the pop songs. Favorite character: My soup. Least favorite character: Andi. 3/10

Leroy and Stitch: The last Lilo & Stitch movie, they got enough of a budget and it still looks like TV animation but it's a little better. Experiment 625 could be unstoppable if not for what I assume is untreated ADHD (we stan). Stitch claimed the prize of the highest body count out of everyone in this marathon with 600+ Leroy clones. Leroy is a nasty little cretin. Otherwise not much else to say, it's Lilo & Stitch so it's high quality-- oh my god this is just Sonic Adventure 2. Thank me later. Favorite character: Experiment 625/ Reuben. Least favorite character: Dr. Hamsterviel.  8/10 

Brother Bear 2: Wowie another misunderstanding conflict we're not tired of that at all. Anyways, this movie is just Shrek but with bears, pretty much the whole way. As far as Valentine's Day movies go, this was better than Hunchback in just about every way. Favorite character: Nita. Least favorite character: Lord Farquaad. 6/10. Note: This is the only session we have a recording of, because our friend who wanted to hang out with us for Brother Bear 2 couldn’t make it.

The Fox and the Hound 2: The original Fox and the Hound was a heart-wrenching film about a friendship tragically separated by societal roles. This movie was just Patch's London Adventure but with Reba McEntire. The improved animation will no longer save these movies from boredom. Both the Fox and the Hound felt like they were in two different movies. Reba is the only grace I will afford it, but girl needs to put more evil in her villain song. Favorite character: Reba McEnterrier. Least favorite characters: The other dogs in the band. 3/10

Cinderella III: A Twist In Time: Technically the movie gets a 0/10 because I subtracted so many points for feets stuff, but let's look past that. The animation is the sum of all the years of practice, technology upgrades, and care. This was the first movie to give us the highly coveted Cinderella action scenes, as Cinderella is a go-getter and a beast. I mean, she always has been, not that anyone remembers. We do be loving that Anastasia redemption arc. The ending is Shrek 2, not to be the guy that points that out. By the way, the original film is no longer canon as this is now the true timeline. Favorite character: Prince Charming. Least favorite characters: The mice. 9/10 would be the score I give if were it not for the feet stuff.

The Little Mermaid: Ariel's Beginning: People say this is Footloose but really this is a metaphor for homosexual fast dancing. Most of the early part of the movie was spent trying to figure out mermaid genetics to figure out why Ariel and her sisters look like that. The highlight of the movie was the Megalovania cameo. Marina is much too weak of a villain compared to Morgana and especially Ursula. We are braindead after this, we've never laughed harder. What a way to end the night. Thankfully, no feet. Favorite character: Benjamin the manatee. Least favorite character: Marina Del Ray. 5/10

#disney #disney sequels #disney direct to video #discord shenanigans #long post #like 29 movies long #yes we skipped hercules zero to hero but only cuz that wasn't on disney plus #friends