#yes wei ying it was a surprise that you and my uncle enjoyed each other's company. no wei ying i'm not laughing at you. by the way | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

subbyyang · 3 years

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You don't have to say 'I love you' to say 'i love you' - Jin Ling/Zizhen/Sizhui/Jingyi [1/7]

Zizhen feels like he isn't special compared to his boyfriends and that he doesn't belong with them. He also doesn't notice all the little ways in which his boyfriends show him love.

Well, Jin Ling, Sizhui and Jingyi gladly try harder.

Fill for a prompt at the MDZS kink meme

Zizhen was tired. He was tired of this feeling growing deep in his chest for the last couple of weeks, maybe even longer. Thinking back, Zizhen realizes it might have always been there, festering inside him. He hated feeling like this but whenever he looked at Jin Ling, Sizhui and Jingyi, his boyfriends, walking side by side, laughing at some stupid thing Jingyi had said, he couldn’t help the feeling that he didn’t belong. He loved them - so much it physically hurt him to be away from them - and he was so grateful they had given him a chance to join their relationship but the fear that they would wake up one day and realize they didn’t want him anymore kept him up at night.

“A-Zhen?” Zizhen was pulled out of his thoughts by Sizhui’s soft hand holding onto his own. “Is there something wrong?"

Zizhen tried to smile reassuringly as he shook his head. Sizhui didn’t seem too convinced and he looked like he wanted to say something else but he decided to drop the subject when Zizhen squeezed his hand. They looked into each other’s eyes until a yell caught their attention.

“Senior Wei!” Jingyi yelled as he waved enthusiastically and took off running towards Wei Ying. Sizhui followed suit, letting go of Zizhen’s hand, causing the smile to fall from his face. Jin Ling didn’t seem to have noticed his mood or, if he did, he kept quiet about it as he pulled on Zizhen’s sleeve and walked the short distance to where Sizhui and Jingyi were talking to a tired looking Wei Wuxian.

“If it isn’t my lovely nephew!” Wei Ying said with an amused tone at Jin Ling’s fake displeased face. It had been nearly three years since he had come back from the dead and Jin Ling still liked to pretend he hated him. “And…huh, and the Ouyang boy. Ouyang…?”

“Zizhen, Senior Wei.” Zizhen said with a slight frown.

“Of course, I knew that! I was just testing you...” Wei Ying said unconvincingly, finishing the sentence with an awkward laugh.

“Testing me on my own name?”

“Yes” Wei Wuxian said matter-of-factly, purposefully ignoring the very real scowl Jin Ling was throwing his way.

Wei Ying bid the Juniors goodbye, claiming to have something important to take care of but Zizhen and his bruised ego weren’t paying attention anymore. He would be lying if he said it didn’t bother him that his sort of father in law (but also uncle in law? He tried not to think much about it) never seemed to remember his name, cementing the thought that he didn’t belong with the others.

“Don’t take it too personally, his memory was always terrible but with the baby it seems to be worse…” Jingyi tried to comfort a dejected looking Zizhen, one hand wrapped around his shoulder. Zizhen leaned against the touch, enjoying the warmth of Jingyi’s body next to him, oblivious to the fond look on Jingyi’s face. “Come on, let’s eat something. You were hungry before, right?”

Zizhen nodded slowly and let himself be pulled by Jingyi. Once again his eyes saddened when Jingyi dropped his shoulder. He wished he could always be in one of his boyfriends’ arms, always feeling warm and safe but, sadly, it didn’t happen much.

They sat together eating what Zizhen would consider the blandest meal he had ever had in his life. He liked being in the Cloud Recess, loved being close to Sizhui and Jingyi but the cuisine was something he would never get used to. He would never say it out loud though. He picked at his food as he watched Jin Ling and Jingyi quietly bickering back and forth while Sizhui stared lovingly at them, apparently not caring about the rule about eating in silence. They were beautiful. All of them. All of them special in their own distinct way and just being near them made Zizhen’s heart flutter.

“You’re distracted today…” Sizhui’s soft voice filtered through his ears, his hand laying on Zizhen’s arm, his brows slightly furrowed in concern.

“You have barely eaten, give it to me if you don’t want it!” Jingyi moved his arm towards Zizhen’s half eaten bowl, a surprised yelp leaving his lips when Jin Ling swatted his hand away.

“Eat your own food!” Jin Ling exclaimed before turning to Zizhen “Eat...don’t want you complaining about being hungry later”

Zizhen blushed at the tone of authority in Jin Ling’s voice, a warm feeling pooling deep in his stomach as he cast his eyes down and went back to eating in silence. He didn’t notice the worried glances his boyfriends shared between each other neither did he notice Jingyi’s hand twitching as he considered whether or not to grab onto Zizhen’s hand.

——

Zizhen sat alone near the cold spring, a poetry book in his hand as bunnies surrounded him. As much as he wanted to pay attention to the book, it was his favorite after all, he just couldn’t get the words to make sense, forcing him to read and reread the same line over and over again.

After lunch, he and Jin Ling were supposed to spend some time together, still having a couple of days before the Conference began, while the two Lans had their disciples’ training and classes to organize. But at the last minute Jin Ling had some sect business to attend to, leaving Zizhen to mope alone, missing his boyfriends. At least he had gotten an apologetic cheek kiss from Jin Ling, that type of affection unusual for his youngest boyfriend.

Putting his book down with a resigned sigh, Zizhen laid back on the grass, petting the bunnies closest to him, the air around him fresh and crisp. Sizhui had brought him there the first time he had visited the Cloud Recess after he had joined the relationship. Zizhen could still remember the expectant look on his face as Zizhen looked around in wonder. It had been a cold winter day, the ground tinged white from the morning’s snow. It was magical then and it was magical now.

Zizhen didn’t know how long he stayed near the spring, hoping Jin Ling would come back from whatever sect business he had to deal with, but the sun was starting to set and Zizhen’s back was starting to hurt so, with one last petting to each bunny, he got up to go look for Jingyi and Sizhui.

As he got closer to the training grounds he could see the disciples milling around, obviously finished with their training sessions for the day. Zizhen smiled brightly at the prospect of seeing his boyfriends, his heart thrumming inside his chest as he sped up his pace. His smile fell when he got to the grounds only to find it empty, no sign of Jingyi or Sizhui.

Zizhen walked around for a while and was about to give in and ask one of the many disciples where the others were when he saw his three boyfriends arriving. They seemed to be coming from the main gates, their hands filled with pouches and sweets. Had they gone into town? Zizhen could feel his heart tightening inside his chest at the sight of his three boyfriends having fun without him. Gusu and the Cloud Recess weren’t that close so it probably meant they had left in the beginning of the afternoon. He didn’t want to believe they would lie to him but it was understandable. He was nothing special compared to them, they probably just kept him around out of pity.

Zizhen turned around and left before any of them saw him, making an effort to not break the “no running” rule of the Lan sect as he quickly walked back to the guest room he was staying in, his cheeks wet with the tears that wouldn’t stop falling.

Once in his room he went straight to bed, not worrying about taking his outer robes off or undoing his hair. All he wanted was for sleep to take over.

He must have succeeded in falling asleep since he was awoken by someone shaking his shoulder softly. It was dark out but he could still make out Jin Ling’s slim frame, his hand cold against his shoulder.

“We’ve been looking for you…” Jin Ling whispered as he kneeled on the floor besides Zizhen’s bed.

“It’s almost dinner time, are you coming with us?” another voice said softly. Sizhui. Zizhen turned towards the voice, his sleepy eyes focusing on Sizhui and Jingyi.

“Don’t feel too good, want to sleep…” Zizhen said, his eyes fluttering shut when he felt hands on his forehead checking for his temperature. He opened his eyes again to come face to face with Jingyi, his brows furrowed in worry as his hand slid from Zizhen’s forehead to his cheek.

“That’s alright, we’ll let you sleep, just let us help you get more comfortable…” Sizhui’s voice was calm and sweet as he pulled the covers from Zizhen’s body and started to untie his outer robes.

Zizhen was grateful for the dark that masked the flush of his cheeks when Jin Ling’s and Jingyi’s hands joined Sizhui’s in undressing him and removing his hair piece, letting his hair fall freely. He was embarrassed by how much he had enjoyed their touches. Not really how he imagined his boyfriends undressing him for the first time but he reckoned that’s the best he was gonna get.

“Now get some rest, we’ll be back later…” Jin Ling mumbled as he pushed Zizhen down on the bed and covered him again, making sure he was warm and snug. He hovered above Zizhen’s head, hesitating on whether to kiss his forehead or not, deciding against it at the last minute, petting his head instead.

With the ghost feeling of his boyfriends’ hands on his body, Zizhen fell asleep again.

——

“We’re heading to bed, it’s almost 9, are you coming with us?” Sizhui asked as he and Jingyi stood up, offering a hand to Jin Ling. They had decided to eat outside Sizhui and Jingyi’s room, the night more akin to a warm summer night than an early May one.

“Not tonight...want to stay with Zizhen”

“Okay, Young Mistress, make sure to take good care of our A-Zhen” Jingyi laughed as Jin Ling grew red and tried to swat at him only for Jingyi to grab his hand and pull their mouths together. Jin Ling melted into the kiss, before remembering they were outside and pulling away, wanting to hit Jingyi again for the stupid grin he had on his face.

“Goodnight, A-Ling. And give A-Zhen a goodnight kiss from us, okay?” Sizhui waited for Jin Ling to nod before leaving a small kiss to the corner of his mouth, smiling at the little pout that graced Jin Ling’s lips momentarily, before he schooled his face into a more neutral expression.

Jin Ling watched as the other two entered their room before turning around and heading back to the guest area. He smiled when he saw Fairy sitting protectively in front of Zizhen’s room, just where Jin Ling had told her to stay. Forsaking the idea of walking to his own room just on the left of Zizhen’s, Jin Ling quietly stepped into Zizhen’s room, Fairy in tow. As he got rid of his outer clothes, he couldn’t help the small smile that graced his lips when his eyes landed on his sleeping boyfriend. His beautiful sleeping boyfriend.

Jin Ling walked over to the bed, leaning down so he could kiss Zizhen once on the forehead and once on his left cheek. Sizhui’s and Jingyi’s goodnight kisses. He hesitated for a couple of seconds before leaning down to leave one last kiss, this time to Zizhen’s soft lips. His own goodnight kiss.

He quickly lay down behind Zizhen, pulling his warm body onto his own.

“Shh, shh it’s me, go back to sleep…” Jin Ling whispered into Zizhen’s ears when he felt him stir.

Zizhen settled down, not once truly waking up from his sleep. Jin Ling instinctively wrapped an arm tighter around Zizhen’s waist, pulling him closer before letting himself drift off.

#zhuilingyizhen #lan sizhui #lan jingyi #ouyang zizhen #jin ling #the untamed #mdzs

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chrisemrysfics · 3 years

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Its totally before I saw again the extended first time scene in MDZS, and saw all over again all the things that make me actually appreciate the way its written, because, its meant to be awkward! Its two people first time! They, however, shows signs of being comfortable with each other (laughing, playing along once there’s confirmation its okay, etc).

There’s also a lot of subtle ways that they check in with each other if its okay, as well as the forgiving of the first (stolen) kiss. The check in is so, so important and subtly hint as to why they can have kinks like they do, because it shows they don’t just go once “yeah okay” and no more consent check, Lan Wangji, as the one “in position of control”, make sure to check in multiple times that the consent is still given!

Obviously, as I show the lines, some smut mention/line ahead!

From Exiled Rebels Scanlation, about Wei Wuxian realizing who stole his first kiss:

“…” Lan WangJi’s voice sounded muffled, “I, back then, knew I was wrong. Very wrong.”

Wei WuXian recalled how Lan WangJi broke a tree in half alone in the woods when he later found him, “That was why you were so mad?”

Wei WuXian thought he was mad about someone else. He had no idea that Lan WangJi was mad at himself—mad that he acted upon his urges, that he couldn’t control himself, that he took advantage of another in a way that was neither righteous nor abiding by his sect rules.

Seeing how low Lan WangJi’s head was buried, almost as if he was reflecting upon his mistakes again, Wei WuXian scratched his chin, “Alright, stop struggling so much. Well, I’m beyond happy that you kissed me so early. It was my first kiss, after all. Congratulations, HanGuang-Jun.”

Wei Wuxian immediate forgiving, to Lan Wangji admitting he was wrong, as well as Wei Wuxian understanding how Lan Wangji usually control himself, but had a lapse of control back then (which Wei Wuxian understands what it feels like!)

As he kissed the firm abdomen and ventured down, a few thin strands of hair slid off his shoulders and teased at the dangerous area along with his soft, thin breaths. Lan WangJi seemed like he couldn’t take it any longer. He reached to grab Wei WuXian’s shoulder, but Wei WuXian caught his wrist instead, “Don’t move, I told you already. I’ll do it.”

He pulled off his hair tie to refasten his somewhat disheveled hair before bending down again. Lan WangJi realized what he wanted to do. With a slightly unsettled expression, he lowered his voice, “No.”

Wei WuXian, “Yes.” He gently took Lan WangJi into his lips.

Making sure to not bite Lan WangJi with his teeth, he carefully wrapped him inside his mouth. As he tried to swallow as deeply as possible, he felt a bit strained with it rubbing against his throat. Lan WangJi noticed his discomfort at once and reached out to push him away, worried that he was forcing himself, “Enough.”

Wei WuXian moved his hand away and started to slowly suck on it.

Lan WangJi, “You…”

Note that Lan Wangji hadn’t realized at first what Wei Wuxian would do! This means “he couldn’t take it any longer” refers to him being, in fact, turned on, and is trying to stop Wei Wuxian before he looses control and does something... only for then to realize that Wei Wuxian is, in fact, leading him to do something on that nature. The “no” is likely because Lan Wangji is worried, as he shows it again later that he worries if Wei Wuxian is comfortable!

With the most sensitive part of his body held inside warm, moist lips and treated with such effort, it was terribly tormenting just for Lan WangJi to control himself from doing some awful act of violence.

This confirms earlier points, Lan Wangji is trying to control himself! Which is, funnily, the exact same thing he did while drunk, which suggest that either he wasn’t as drunk as he let on, or he was, but even then, what he cared about was making sure he didn’t do anything Wei Wuxian didn’t want to do (which Wei Wuxian very much indicated he wanted to, especially with his line about liking when Lan Wangji gets angry)

Wei WuXian had viewed quite the selection of pornography, but he hadn’t seen any on the topic of homosexuality. He never thought he had such interests or was curious about it, and thus he naturally thought that was all there was to the love-making between men—kissing, hugging, at most with hands or lips. As he was pressed onto the ground by Lan WangJi, being massaged finger by finger, he finally managed to realize that it wasn’t the case. On top of the slight pain, he found it somewhat surprising and perhaps funny as well.

But at the addition of the third finger, Wei WuXian couldn’t laugh any longer.

He was already feeling quite sore and uncomfortable, yet the three fingers were still quite a few sizes smaller than what he’d been swallowing. He interrupted, “Lan Zhan, Lan Zhan, uh, s-stop for a bit. Is it really alright like this? You sure you didn’t get it wrong? It’s here? I think it’s a bit…”

But it seemed like Lan WangJi was no longer able to listen to Wei WuXian’s words, curtly muffling Wei WuXian’s mouth with his own.

Sinking down, he thrust inside.Wei WuXian widened his eyes. His legs sprang up. The two lay flesh against flesh, their hearts and their breaths racing.

Lan WangJi’s voice was hoarse, “… Sorry… I could not hold back.”

Seeing his blood-shot eyes, clearly from holding himself back, Wei WuXian knew that it was all because of his teasing. He clenched his teeth, “Don’t hold back if you can’t… Then what should I do now?”

Honestly that’s peak inexperienced, first time experience right here. Lan Wangji knows what to do, and while he “can’t hold himself back”, he takes the time to prepare Wei Wuxian. As for Wei Wuxian, he quickly understand what is being done, why, and again, Lan Wangji apologize, Wei Wuxian realize its because he teased him, and express consent properly. The thing is: Wei Wuxian did understand a few moments ago! He simply asked “you’re sure its like this?” when he felt how it was with three fingers, so if Lan Wangji was uncertain, he would have stopped. Then, Wei Wuxian expressing consent cement he’s okay with this.

Lan WangJi, “… Does it hurt?”

Arms clinging to him, Wei WuXian couldn’t help from shivering, holding back tears, “Yes, it’s my first time—of course it hurts.”

With this, he felt Lan WangJi grow harder within his body.

One could easily imagine what it’d feel like when the soft, fragile insides were forcefully invaded by a hard, foreign object. But the moment he thought of how Lan WangJi reacted to just those simple words of his, Wei WuXian burst out with a laugh again.

As a man, he knew how uncomfortable Lan WangJi felt right now, stuck inside yet still constraining himself from forcing his way in. Wei WuXian felt his heart go soft. He took the initiative to draw his neck forwards, whispering by his ear, “Lan Zhan, my good Lan Zhan, Er-gege, I’ll tell you what to do. Kiss me right now. It won’t hurt if you kiss me…”

Again, this is peak first time experience, its actually great that they’re portraying having some laughter, and being a bit awkward about it! And again, Wei Wuxian takes note that Lan Wangji is really trying, he only pushed a bit more inside, and Wei Wuxian feels soft and offer what he feels can help (Lan Wangji told him to relax too, earlier, when he asked).

Lan WangJi began to thrust, while Wei WuXian shut his eyes tightly, gasping to fix his breaths to Lan WangJi’s motions. When he was just getting used to the overwhelming object, Wei WuXian moved his hips involuntarily and a sudden bout of pleasure ripple from down below, crawling across his whole body through his spine.

Wei WuXian immediately discovered how to enjoy such a position. He buried his hands inside Lan WangJi’s sweat-drenched hair, lifting the forehead ribbon as he grinned, his voice velvet, “… Does it feel good? Inside me?”

This comes after a brief moment where Wei Wuxian noticed the brand and asked about it, so there’s also a lovely part where s/ex isn’t just about the act, but also intimacy (being close), and here we see Wei Wuxian finally finding how it feels good, and immediately teasing Lan Wangji, knowing now what it can do!

Here I found a translation for extended scene here!

We see Wei Wuxian tease restlessly Lan Wangji, who gets more into it, and when Wei Wuxian start to whine as if its too much, this happen:

Drops of sweat dripped down from the ends of Lan Wangji’s hair. This person habitually impassive to the point of coldness betrayed at that moment a discomfit expression as if he was on the brink of falling apart, “Are you really begging or are you… purposely… Your hips! Stop writhing!”

Wei Wuxian raised his head and yelled at the top of his voice, “Someone! Help! Hanguang-Jun is… ah! Hanguang-Jun… I can’t anymore…”

As Lan Wangji kissed away the tears he had wrung from Wei Wuxian, he uttered through gritted teeth, “… Wei Ying, I am… speaking seriously, do not do that again. I… I will truly… lose control. I fear I… Sorry.”

Even at such a time, with a flush spread across his face, he did not forget to apologise, his brows were slightly knitted and his countenance remorseful. Hearing this, Wei Wuxian’s heart softened and ached from the havoc he had wreaked, he said gently, “Why are you saying sorry? Even if it hurts, I’m still glad because it’s you doing it… aah…”

The two of them were drenched all over in glistening sweat. Wei Wuxian had always forgotten the taste of pain as soon as his injuries had healed. Despite having just suffered the consequences of his actions, he soon opened his mouth again to pant some more nonsense, “Hey, Lan Zhan… I just remembered, you are done for. We’re still missing the last of the three bows, we’re not married yet. Do you know what is called doing this kind of thing outside marriage? If your uncle knew… ah… he’d drown you in a pond.”

Lan Wangji’s tone was almost ferocious, “… I was done for long ago!”

Lan Wangji, who has seen Wei Wuxian tease him, but also hears him seemingly complain, first ask “are you serious or is it teasing”, and when Wei Wuxian continues, which would indicate that he means he’s just teasing, Lan Wangji wants to make sure so he speaks more clearly, and understanding, Wei Wuxian stop teasing for a bit to reassure him, then start again, this time they both understand he’s teasing!

Also, this section is why its actually possible the whole dream of noncon might be post canon, rather than a dream teen Lan Wangji had!

Wei Wuxian became aware that a warm liquid was trickling down from the part of his lower body where they were connected together but he kept rambling a steady torrent of obscenities in Lan Wangji’s ear, “Your strength is so great that I would have had no way to resist. If I shouted, you could have silenced me and no one would have heard my muffled cries. Your Sect’s Library Pavilion isn’t bad either, we could have spread some books on the floor and rolled around on them. We could have laid out some erotic pictures and compared positions, any position would have been fine. I would bully you during the day and you would bully me at night. You’d fuck my brains out as soon as the door closed… Ge! Ge! Er-gege! Spare me! Mercy, please spare me. Fine, fine, I’ll stop talking, you’re amazing, you’re the best. I can’t bear it anymore, I really can’t, don’t be like this…”

And finally:

The veins lining Lan Wangji’s forehead slightly stood out. He forced his words out, articulating clearly each of them, “… If you truly wish to stop… then hold your tongue and stop talking…”

Wei Wuxian said, “But I have a tongue so I can’t help using it. Lan Zhan, what I’ve said before about me wanting to go to bed with you everyday, can you pretend you never heard it?”

Lan Wangji replied, “I cannot.”

Wei Wuxian’s heart shattered at this, “How can you be like this? You’ve never refused me anything before.”

Lan Wangji smiled faintly, “I cannot.”

At the sight of this smile, Wei Wuxian’s eyes lit up, he felt for an instant as if he had ascended and he lost track of his surroundings.

However, the next moment, a stream of tears was forced out of the corners of Wei Wuxian’s eyes by the fierce movements that were at odds with this smile like the pure light reflected by the snow.

Hands clutching the grass, he shouted himself hoarse, “Then four days, let’s make it once every four days, all right? If four days won’t do then three is also fine!”

Finally, Lan Wangji concluded in a powerfully resolute voice, “Everyday means everyday.”

Lan Wangji, once more, take the time to confirm this is really okay, and Wei Wuxian, by speaking more, in this tease-begging manner, confirms. If he was serious, he would have done as before! He would have softened, or clearly said to stop, earlier he clearly stated “you don’t have to be sorry”

And the last few lines is Lan Wangji returning the teasing Wei Wuxian has done~!

#mdzs #wangxian #(honestly i like this because it really shows a first time doesnt have to be perfect)#(as long as both party trust each other and can communicate in their own manner)#(as well as feel comfortable together)#(and LWJ checking in multiple times not just once!!)#(thats how you actively make sure your partner still consent)#(its not just one time!!)

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somuchnonsense · 3 years

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October Drabbles

Previous drabbles

26. Garden (post-canon Wangxian featuring bunnies)

Wei Wuxian doesn’t have a farm yet, but he does have a garden on the back hill in Cloud Recesses. “Why here?” Lan Wangji asked him when he started planting. “The rabbits will eat everything.”

“I don’t mind if my hard work goes to feeding the rabbits,” Wei Wuxian responded, grinning. “Besides, I’m not here consistently enough to tend to it and harvest things when they’re ready. At least this way, someone will enjoy the fruits—or vegetables, I suppose—of my labor. And maybe then they’ll love me like they love you.”

Lan Wangji smiled, petting one of the rabbits as they both curiously watched Wei Wuxian work. “I’m sure they will.”

It’s debatable, a few months later, whether the rabbits love Wei Wuxian any more than before, but they do love Wei Wuxian’s garden, and Lan Wangji loves watching him kneeling in the dirt, celebrating the first shoots of a new plant or complaining when the rabbits ate one before it even had a chance to grow. He looks so happy, so comfortable, so relaxed, not the fearsome Yiling Laozu or the brilliant cultivator Wei Wuxian with his ever-active mind, but just an ordinary young man, content with his simple life, with no fears and no painful memories weighing on him.

“What’s that look for?” Wei Wuxian asks, eyeing Lan Wangji with a freshly pulled carrot in his hand. There’s dirt on his cheek and a sparkle in his eyes.

Lan Wangji says nothing, keeping his thoughts to himself, but Wei Wuxian smiles like perhaps he knows anyway, and cheerfully turns back to his garden.

27. Serendipity (Wei Wuxian canon gen/character study)

It would be easy to think that Wei Wuxian has bad luck. He lost his parents young, and then the people who took him in when he was alone. He lost his adopted sister, and the people who lived with him like family for a year. He lost his golden core and the trust and respect of his peers, and the love of his adopted brother. He lost his home, and the one he found to replace it. And after all of that, he lost his life too soon.

But if you ask Wei Wuxian, he’ll tell you he’s lucky. He lost his parents, but then he was taken in by a new family. Sure, they weren’t perfect, but they saved him from a lonely life on the streets and they loved him, mostly. He lost them too, though not all at once, but then he had the Wens to care about him. That didn’t last, but he got Wen Ning and Sizhui back, at least, and he has the other junior disciples who are ready to fight for him, and Lan Wangji, of course. As much as he’s lost, he’s also been loved by many people, and isn’t that lucky?

As for the rest, well, the loss of his golden core was a fair trade for Jiang Cheng’s life, and it led him to abilities that helped avenge the Jiang Sect and defeat Wen Ruohan and later Jin Guangyao. He’s not the strong cultivator he was as a teenager, but he’s found new ways to be strong and fight the battles he needs to fight. He’s also blazed a new path and invented new things and made a name for himself, in his own way. Isn’t that lucky?

And yes, he died once, painfully, but that’s over and done with and he got a second chance at life. In his second life, he’s fallen in love, made new friends, done some good in the world, and at least done a little to make up for his past mistakes. So few people get a chance like that, including many who are much more deserving than him, so in the final sum, isn’t he lucky?

28. Drunk Confessions (junior quartet gen)

It started with a few bottles of wine and Zizhen declaring that true friends share their secrets with each other, but nobody could have imagined that it would end like this.

"You're what?" Jin Ling asks, his voice low and strained.

"You're what?!" Jingyi echoes in a loud squawk.

"I'm a Wen," Sizhui repeats, his nervous expression belying his calm voice.

"You never told me!" Jingyi's voice is still far too loud, his expression almost comically betrayed. "How could I not know that?"

"You knew Hanguang-Jun took me in," Sizhui points out.

"Yes, but I thought your parents were Lan cultivators who died back then, or at least non-cultivators from Gusu. Not...Wens." Jingyi grimaces, but wipes the expression of his face when he sees Sizhui's face fall.

“Sizhui is still the same person, right?" Zizhen puts in. "And we know Wen Ning's a nice guy. It's not like all Wens are bad."

"Right," Jingyi firmly agrees. "But I can't believe you didn’t tell me sooner!”

"I didn't know until recently. After meeting Wei-qianbei and Wen Ning, some memories came back." Sizhui finishes the drink in front of him, getting some liquid courage before he looks at the conspicuously silent Jin Ling. "I'm sorry," he says quietly. "I hope this doesn't change anything between us."

Jin Ling clenches his fist on the table, brow furrowed, and for a long, tense moment, the whole group is silent. Finally, he sighs exasperatedly and says, "Well, it's far from the worst secret I've heard about someone I knew. Do you two at least not have any dark secrets?" He waves his cup and Jingyi and Zizhen.

"None, I promise," Zizhen declares.

"If I do, I don't know them myself," Jingyi says.

"I've met his parents," Sizhui interjects. "They're nice, normal Lan cultivators for several generations back."

"Good," Jin Ling says. To Sizhui, he adds, "For this, you can at least buy us another bottle or two of wine."

Sizhui smiles brightly, getting to his feet. "Right away."

29. Cars (modern AU Wangxian featuring the Jiang sibs)

Jiang Cheng says Wei Ying drives like a maniac. Wei Ying says Jiang Cheng is a wimp and also boring and besides, he doesn’t go any faster than he can safely drive, but he does always slow down when he sees Jiang Cheng’s knuckles turning white.

“You’d better drive more carefully on your date with Lan Zhan,” Jiang Cheng tells him. “He probably drives perfectly the speed limit and obeys every traffic law to the letter. He won’t be able to deal with you.”

“I’ll be fine,” Wei Ying insists. “And it’s not a date!”

“Just don’t rush,” Yanli says. “You’ll have more time with Lan Zhan that way. And I’m pretty sure it is a date.”

“Not you too,” Wei Ying whines.

Later, though, when he picks Lan Zhan up and sees him looking very dashing even though he’s in what passes for casual clothes with him, Wei Ying has to admit that okay, yes, he wants it to be a date, and sure, okay, he wants to impress Lan Zhan, or at least not scare him away by driving too wildly. He forces himself to go only a little above the speed limit as he drives to the cafe where they’re going to study together, and Lan Zhan doesn’t complain or grab the panic handle like Jiang Cheng does.

On the way home, though, after endless hours of Lan Zhan sitting across from him looking casually hot but looking at his textbook or talking about economics instead of kissing Wei Ying, he forgets himself and drives as usual. Lan Zhan doesn’t say anything, so Wei Ying doesn’t realize what he’s doing until he stops in front of Lan Zhan’s building and sees him looking suspiciously paler than usual, his hand still gripping the door handle. “Oh, uh, Lan Zhan…you okay?”

“I’m fine,” Lan Zhan says tightly.

“Say, um…” Wei Ying feels bad and all, but he’s spent hours not kissing Lan Zhan and wishing this was a date and he just has to know if maybe it was, or at least could be. He unbuckles his seatbelt, turns in his seat and presses his lips to Lan Zhan’s. He’s not expecting to promptly get pulled into Lan Zhan’s lap, but he’s definitely not complaining, especially when it’s followed up with a whole lot more kissing.

They only stop when someone honks and Wei Ying realizes he didn’t pick the best parking spot for making out. “So,” he says, grinning shamelessly as he moves back into the driver’s seat, “let’s go out on another date some time soon?”

“All right,” Lan Zhan agrees without hesitation. He’s not smiling, but he is eyeing Wei Ying in a way that he really likes. “But next time, I’ll drive.”

30. Dessert (modern AU Wangxian, just a tiny bit NSFW)

The first time Wei Ying sees Lan Zhan in a cafe daintily eating whipped cream off the top of a parfait, he can’t believe his eyes. There’s something so unexpected about strong, serious, stoic, ever-responsible Lan Zhan enjoying any kind of dessert, let alone the same kind Wei Ying’s sister and her friends love—unexpected and adorable.

“Wow, Lan Zhan! I had you pegged for the health food 24/7 type,” Wei Ying says, sneaking up on him from behind. He’s obviously trying to surprise Lan Zhan, but he doesn’t expect it to actually work, so he’s thrilled when it makes Lan Zhan jump and then turn a glare on him. “Hey, no judgment. There’s nothing wrong with enjoying something sweet.” The temptation to stick his finger in the whipped cream and dab some onto Lan Zhan’s nose is so strong, but Wei Ying doesn’t want to die today, so he restrains himself.

It takes nearly a year after that encounter for them to start dating, though Wei Ying does manage to put whipped cream on Lan Zhan’s face twice before that. (Maybe he should have guessed that Lan Zhan liked him, despite never mentioning it, by how he didn’t murder Wei Ying for doing that.) It takes another five months after they get together for Wei Ying to convince Lan Zhan that whipped cream will also be delicious when licked off his body, but oh, is it worth it.

31. Trick or Treat (modern cultivation AU, A-Yuan and Wangxian)

“I want to go as Uncle Wen!” A-Yuan declares. Wei Wuxian blinks at him, turns and blinks at Lan Wangji, and then starts to laugh. “I mean, I think a ghost or a vampire or a cat or something is more typical, but sure, you can go as a fierce corpse.” “Not a fierce corpse!” A-Yuan protests. “Uncle Wen!” Lan Wangji gives Wei Wuxian his patented You are not treating this child as he should be treated look. “Yes, of course,” Wei Wuxian amends. “We’ll find you the best Wen Ning costume anyone has ever had.” “Can Uncle Wen come with me?” A-Yuan asks. Wen Ning won’t do well with crowds or a sugar high A-Yuan, but on the other hand, he’ll blend in on Halloween in a way he usually can’t. “We’ll all come with you,” Lan Wangji tells him. “Yay!” A-Yuan jumps up and down in excitement. “What will you be? Ooh, I know! You should be a bunny.” He gestures at Lan Wangji, and then to Wei Wuxian, “And you should be a carrot.” “A carrot?” Wei Wuxian grimaces. “Come on, between the two of us, don’t I look more like a bunny?” “At least he didn’t say a donkey.” Lan Wangji keeps his voice low, and before A-Yuan can demand that he repeat it, says, “Those are excellent choices.” “You’re so mean to me,” Wei Wuxian whines, but that doesn’t stop him from going out on Halloween evening in a big carrot costume, hand in hand with rabbit Lan Wangji, with mini Wen Ning skipping on ahead of them and actual Wen Ning looking fondly on.

#mo dao zu shi #mdzs #cql #the untamed #mdzs fic #cql fanfic #the untamed fic #wangxian #wangxian fic #wei wuxian #lan wangji #lan sizhui #jin ling #lan jingyi #jiang cheng #jiang yanli #mine #fic #flufftober

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onceinabluehanguangjun · 3 years

Text

into you like a train (3/5)

warning: minor mention of a past injury

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ao3

The next day passed in silence.

No rambunctious man came knocking on the door and Lan Zhan took this as a sign that he could actually finish grading his papers. He sipped his tea and made sure he ate and kept his mind busy until night. He didn’t let himself think about Wei Ying until he was in bed again and his face wouldn’t leave Lan Zhan alone. He was good looking and kind and probably thought Lan Zhan was too weird to speak to.

Which was fine. Normal. It happened.

The day after that, though, Lan Zhan decided to go on a walk and attempt to enjoy himself since he would only be here for a couple more days. There were tons of paths around the cabin and the snow was beginning to melt, so it wasn’t as cold. He bundled up nonetheless and put in only one of his earbuds so he could still be aware of his surroundings.

It was going pretty well and he managed to feel relaxed despite the fact he was in the middle of nowhere. He supposed it helped that he’d met Wei Ying and learned how tight-knit this community was. It felt safe to wander around in. Which is the mindset he had up until he heard rustling in the trees and something rammed onto his leg before latching on.

His first instinct was to kick whatever it was away from him, but he thankfully had the foresight to look down first and managed to stop himself once he realized it was a child. Lan Zhan stared down at it as he caught his breath and the child stared back with wide, tearful eyes.

“What…” he trailed off, blinking down at it. Only that apparently didn’t sit well with the child because it immediately started crying. So much for relaxing.

He had about a full five seconds to worry about being accused of kidnapping before he heard another voice.

“A-Yuan!”

Within a few seconds, Wei Ying burst through the trees and skidded to a stop once he saw the child in question, catching his breath. He spared Lan Zhan a glance before he walked up and pried the child off his leg, hiking him onto his hip.

“What did I say about running off in the woods like that?” Wei Ying scolded.

“Don’t,” the child, A-Yuan, whined out. Wei Ying sighed and shook his head.

“Yeah, don’t, so don’t do it. You could run into a wolf that’ll snatch you up and steal you away and you’ll have to live in a cave and become a wolf yourself. Is that what you want, to become a little wolf-man?” Wei Ying told him, poking him in the stomach. A-Yuan gasped and dramatically hid his face in Wei Ying’s shoulder.

“No wolf!”

“Then don’t run away from me,” Wei Ying told him, “I should get you a leash.”

Lan Zhan blinked between the two, trying to make sense of it. Wei Ying, the drunken primary school teacher who makes pastries at the crack of dawn and goes grocery shopping for candy and energy drinks and spent hours with him a couple of nights prior, had a little boy. Was there anything this man could do that wouldn’t throw Lan Zhan off?

“I’m sorry, again, he gets excited when he sees animals in the woods and runs off sometimes,” Wei Ying said to him, laughing slightly. It wasn’t the big boisterous laughter from before though, it was a little uncomfortable. “I’m really ruining your vacation, aren’t I?”

Lan Zhan swallowed softly and thought about his brother’s words. Maybe it was fate. Maybe he wasn’t annoying him.

“No,” Lan Zhan said. Wei Ying blinked in surprise and then his smile broke out into the real thing.

“Good,” he said, carefully putting A-Yuan back down. He immediately latched onto Wei Ying’s leg and looked up at Lan Zhan with big, piercing eyes. Lan Zhan had never really been around children that little before, not since he was one. Even the kids he student taught were much older. “If it makes it any better, he only hugs the legs of people he likes. So at least we know he has taste.”

“He’s yours?” Lan Zhan asked despite his better judgment. Wei Ying put a hand on A-Yuan’s head and puffed out his chest dramatically.

“I gave birth to him,” Wei Ying said. Lan Zhan blinked and the other man divulged into laughter. “By proxy, of course.”

So he was married or perhaps had a girlfriend. That meant it didn’t matter whether Wei Ying was aesthetically pleasing or not. For some reason, that didn’t make Lan Zhan feel any better.

“Tall gege,” A-Yuan said, pointing up at Lan Zhan. Wei Ying grabbed his hand to stop him from pointing at him.

“Yes, very tall gege. Giant gege. Skyscraper gege,” Wei Ying said, winking at Lan Zhan as if they had some sort of inside joke, “Isn’t that right, Gege?”

Lan Zhan blinked and felt his ears grow warm, his hand clutching his phone a bit tighter at the tone of his voice. Wei Ying laughed, but he didn’t mention anything about Lan Zhan’s reaction if he noticed.

“Mn,” Lan Zhan hummed. Wei Ying smiled so brightly his eyes squinted and he scrunched up his nose. It was overwhelmingly cute in a way Lan Zhan had no idea how to handle.

“But let’s just call him Zhan-gege,” Wei Ying said. A-Yuan nodded. “Alright, well, I don’t want to bother you anymore and I promised this one lunch, so,” Wei Ying said, getting a better grip on A-Yuan’s hand so he couldn’t run away again, “It was nice seeing your face again, Lan Zhan.”

“Mn.”

Lan Zhan stayed still as Wei Ying went to walk away, but A-Yuan seemed to root himself into place with his eyes on Lan Zhan. It was a little awkward and disjointed, the two of them silent and just blinking at each other. Wei Ying snorted.

“A-Yuan, come on,” he said. A-Yuan looked up at him and then back to Lan Zhan and then looked back up to Wei Ying before waving at him to come down. Wei Ying smiled and crouched down, letting A-Yuan lean close to his ear.

“Zhan-gege’s all alone,” he not-so-quietly whispered. Lan Zhan instantly felt uncomfortable at that, but Wei Ying didn’t seem to think it was an accusation. He just rolled his eyes.

“Some people like taking walks alone,” Wei Ying explained, “Shushu does that all the time.”

A-Yuan looked back to Lan Zhan and then leaned to whisper again. “Zhan-gege eats lunch all alone?”

Wei Ying looked up to Lan Zhan for a moment. He seemed to be trying to say something with his eyes alone, but Lan Zhan didn’t know him well enough to translate.

“A-Yuan, let’s not bother him, okay?”

“But he needs a friend,” A-Yuan said, insisting like Wei Ying clearly wasn’t understanding. Lan Zhan was beginning to feel like this child was given a script directly by his big brother to guilt him into spending more time with Wei Ying.

Wei Ying sighed and stood up straight, looking at Lan Zhan. He looked so grown with A-Yuan there, it was a weird juxtaposition from the lively and childish man he’d seen every other time. It was intriguing.

“Feel free to say fuck off, but would you like to join us for lunch?” Wei Ying said, giving a small smile as he reached up to scratch the back of his neck, “No hard feelings if you don’t want to, but I thought I’d ask.”

Lan Zhan swallowed softly and looked down to the little boy who was looking up at him with big, pleading eyes. He thought about Wei Ying saying how most of the children up here don’t venture down the mountain for most of their lives, they don’t meet new people very often. He thought about his own childhood, how his uncle had kept them under strict rules to keep them in line and kept them away from others, and how that probably led to him being so inept at social interaction. Maybe… Maybe he could convince himself he was helping.

“Okay,” Lan Zhan agreed. Wei Ying’s eyes widened and then he smiled, looking so completely and utterly thrilled. It made Lan Zhan’s stomach hurt, honestly. Just… not in a bad way.

“Ah, it’s A-Yuan’s little face, isn’t it? Hard to say no,” Wei Ying said, reaching down to squeeze A-Yuan’s face in his hand. “Well, let’s go.”

Lan Zhan awkwardly followed them, listening to them both talk like it was just easy to rattle off a conversation like that with no fear of rejection. A-Yuan would ask a question and Wei Ying would immediately have an answer, regardless of if it made sense or not.

“Baba, what’s that?”

“Ice, you know that.”

“Why?”

“Because the snow is melting.”

“Why?”

“Because it’s getting hotter.”

“Why?”

“Because the temperature is never the same, changes every day.”

“Why?”

“Climate change, probably.”

“Oh.”

Lan Zhan thought about when he was little and if his uncle had allowed him to ask why that much. He couldn’t imagine that he had, especially since unnecessary noise wasn’t allowed. A-Yuan clearly didn’t have that rule as he asked questions and, when he didn’t have anything to ask, he would hum a little song he made up as he led the way.

Wei Ying bobbed his head along to the song, approving of it and not scolding if it was off-key or annoying. He just let it happen. Lan Zhan immediately felt his heart clench as he thought that he was probably a very good father.

“Zhan-gege,” A-Yuan said, looking up to Lan Zhan all of the sudden. It scared him a little. What if he didn’t have answers like Wei Ying? “Do you know my song?”

“No, he doesn’t,” Wei Ying cut in.

“Shh, Baba, don’t interrupt big kids,” A-Yuan said, eyes wide as if he was truly scandalized. Wei Ying smiled and looked over to Lan Zhan, miming a zipper over his lips. “Zhan-gege?”

“Which one?” Lan Zhan asked slowly. A-Yuan took a deep breath and sang a little tune about the snow falling. Simple, childlike, wordy.

“And it hits the ground and it sticks to the grass and the trees and the stuff,” Wei Ying sang along, leaning towards Lan Zhan and nudging his shoulder. Lan Zhan’s face felt warm.

When A-Yuan finished, he looked up to Lan Zhan.

“I don’t know it,” he admitted, “But I can learn.”

A-Yuan nodded like that was a valid response which was exciting enough, but the look on Wei Ying’s face made Lan Zhan feel like he was short-circuiting. It was something that seemed to be sheer adoration and soft and warm and for him. It was too overwhelming and Lan Zhan turned his eyes to the ground.

“Zhan-gege,” A-Yuan continued.

“Mn?”

“Wanna see the snowman me and Baba made?” he asked. Lan Zhan looked at Wei Ying who was already pulling out his phone as if to find pictures.

“Sure.”

“Baba,” A-Yuan said, reaching up for his phone, “I can do it.”

“Oh, you can?” Wei Ying teased before handing it to him. They both watched as A-Yuan carefully held the phone and went to the pictures, finding it easily. “Guess you can.”

“Zhan-gege,” A-Yuan said again, reaching up to him with expectant, grabby hands.

Lan Zhan looked to Wei Ying for permission and he held his hands up like he wasn’t a part of the equation. A-Yuan continued to wait patiently to be picked up until Lan Zhan did his best to do just that. When Lan Zhan looked over to Wei Ying for approval, all he got was the man smiling forward and continuing his walk.

“See, look,” A-Yuan said, showing him the pictures of him with a snowman with a smile that seemed to be a direct imitation of Wei Ying’s.

“Mn.”

He slid to the next picture which was a selfie with Wei Ying, A-Yuan, and the snowman. A-Yuan started to tell him about it with a sea of breathy, disjointed sentences that only made a little bit of sense. Lan Zhan nodded along and it was enough. He was beginning to think that children were much easier to be around than adults. They didn’t require that much input.

Before Lan Zhan even knew it, they were towards the bottom of the mountain and at a little restaurant. It was a part of the same circle of shops that the tea house was and was probably a way for the people on the mountain to make money. A-Yuan pointed excitedly at a fish tank the moment they walked inside the restaurant.

“Zhan-gege, look!”

“I’ll get a table,” Wei Ying said, leaving Lan Zhan with a toddler on his arms and an allegedly mesmerizing fish tank. He tried not to be overwhelmed by that responsibility.

“Hi, fishy,” A-Yuan cooed, his voice soft as he reached out. Lan Zhan caught his hand before he could touch the glass.

“That scares them,” he explained. A-Yuan nodded thoughtfully.

“Sorry, fishy,” he not-so-quietly whispered, “Zhan-gege, Zhan-gege, Zhan-gege.”

“Hm?”

“What’s its name?”

“I’m not sure,” Lan Zhan answered honestly. A-Yuan pouted for a moment.

“Can I name them?” he asked. And Lan Zhan didn’t see why not.

By the time Wei Ying came to lead them to the table, they’d compiled the names Fluffy, Fire, and Fins for three of them. Fire (a bright orange goldfish) was only allowed to be said in an angry voice, of course. He was a little sad to say goodbye, but he waved at them nonetheless. And, yes, Lan Zhan was convinced that children were better than people at that point.

Lan Zhan put A-Yuan down in his chair and he sat politely, eyes focused on the screen of Wei Ying’s phone. He opened some game on it and was immediately entranced. Which left Lan Zhan to have to make conversation with Wei Ying.

“He likes you,” Wei Ying reiterated, smiling, “He’s usually shy.”

Lan Zhan didn’t know how to respond to that.

“Lan Zhan,” Wei Ying said, tilting his head, “What do you like to eat? We’ve talked so much and I’ve never seen what you eat.”

Lan Zhan didn’t think they’d spoken that much all.

“I don’t eat meat,” Lan Zhan said softly, “But that’s my only restriction.”

“Ah, okay, okay, I can work with that!” he said excitedly, looking through the menu. Lan Zhan blinked and grabbed his own menu, carefully opening it. He wasn’t sure if Wei Ying was planning on finding him something or not.

And, honestly, it was a relief when Wei Ying did order for him and Lan Zhan didn’t have to worry about it.

“So, Lan Zhan, how do you like it here?” Wei Ying asked.

Lan Zhan thought about it for a moment. It was quiet and peaceful, which was good. The people, so far, were nice enough. All of his panicking so far was his own fault. Really, the only bad thing was that it wasn’t home.

“It’s nice.”

“Yeah, that’s what I thought when I first moved here. I promise it grows on you a whole lot more the longer you stay. I wouldn’t want to be anywhere else,” Wei Ying said decidedly, smiling as he looked over to his son. When his eyes came back to Lan Zhan, he leaned forward and made that face like they had an inside joke again. “Well, I’d like to travel more, but don’t tell him that.”

“Gusu is nice,” Lan Zhan said slowly, “Child friendly.”

Wei Ying raised an eyebrow and sat up straight. “Lan Zhan, is that an invitation?” Lan Zhan’s eyes drifted anywhere but at him, desperate to seem casual. It wasn’t an invitation. Or, at least, he didn’t think it was. “I’m teasing! Yes, I’ve been to Gusu, it’s nice. The liquor there is the best I’ve ever had.”

“I don’t drink,” Lan Zhan said. Wei Ying’s eyes widened a little and he laughed.

“Oh, then why did you put up with me?!” Wei Ying asked, laughing enough to get A-Yuan to look up at him, “You’re far too kind, Gege.”

Lan Zhan waited for a moment to try and gauge if the question was meant to be rhetorical or not. When Wei Ying didn’t say anything further, he decided it wouldn’t be terrible to answer either way.

“I didn’t want you to be cold,” he said‒if only because it sounded much better than saying he didn’t want him to die and freeze to the front door. For his part, Wei Ying smiled so wide his eyes formed little crescents and he gave that blissful little hum that made Lan Zhan feel at home.

It took Lan Zhan until the food came before he realized that probably wasn’t a good feeling to have for a man who was probably in a committed relationship with a son who also happened to live two hours away from his home.

And yet…

“Lan Zhan, Lan Zhan, try this,” Wei Ying said, leaning over the table with a spoonful of whatever sort of congee he’d gotten. His fingertips touched the bottom of Lan Zhan’s chin and he found himself opening his mouth and letting Wei Ying give him a taste. It was strange and his eyes scanned the room once he sat back, expecting judging eyes to be on them. Instead, no one was phased. “Good?”

“Mn.”

“Baba, my turn,” A-Yuan said, opening his mouth wide. Wei Ying laughed softly and got a spoonful of A-Yuan’s own meal before shoveling it into his mouth carefully.

“Good, A-Yuan?”

“Mhm!” A-Yuan said, nodding as he did his best to chew with his mouth closed. Lan Zhan found himself grateful for that. He hated the sound of people eating.

“Try yours,” Wei Ying urged, eyes shining as he gave his attention back to Lan Zhan. The more he kept his attention on him, the more he found himself rather okay with it. Maybe even preferring it. That was strange.

Still, Lan Zhan looked at his own meal of what seemed to be primarily tofu and beans. It wasn’t too different from what he’d feed himself, maybe a bit more red-tinted than he’d typically choose. He grabbed his spoon to take a bite and‒

“Do you like it?” Wei Ying asked. Lan Zhan froze a bit as his mouth started burning. He swallowed it nonetheless, but he was sure he wasn’t subtle enough when he immediately grabbed his glass of water. Wei Ying just laughed. “There’s no way that’s spicier than mine!”

And maybe it wasn’t and Lan Zhan had simply been too distracted to notice that time.

“Let me try,” Wei Ying suggested, opening his mouth in a childish way that seemed to mimic A-Yuan more than anything. Lan Zhan, despite the burning in his mouth, found himself fighting a smile.

In the most out of character move he’d ever make in his life, Lan Zhan found himself taking a spoonful of his meal and feeding it to the man across the table. He was sure his face was on fire, but Wei Ying didn’t notice as he tilted his head left to right as he weighed if it was hotter than his or not.

“Hmmm,” Wei Ying hummed, “It’s definitely not hotter than mine, but, if it’s too hot, you can switch with A-Yuan.” Lan Zhan stared at him with a blank expression which just got Wei Ying laughing. “I’m teasing!”

“Zhan-gege,” A-Yuan called, reaching over with a spoonful of his food.

“Be careful,” Lan Zhan said mindlessly as he scooted the chair in a bit more so he wouldn’t fall, still taking the bite he was offered. A-Yuan smiled all bright and sweet. “It’s very good.”

When he looked back to Wei Ying, he got that soft little look again that made his heart beat a bit oddly in his chest. He turned his eyes down to his food so he didn’t have to focus on it.

“If it’s too hot, we can ask for something else,” Wei Ying offered. Lan Zhan shook his head. There were a lot of things he’d rather do than send his food back for something else, including skydiving or giving a speech in front of the entire country.

“I’m fine.”

“Okay,” Wei Ying said, voice teasing and sweet.

For the first time in his life, a meal wasn’t silent. Sure, Lan Huan had loud meals with his friends sometimes, but never ones that included him like this. A-Yuan and Wei Ying both kept him in conversation, a constant stream of ‘Gege’ all meant to make sure he knew he was being spoken to. It was better than going on a walk by himself.

Lan Zhan ended up paying despite protests from Wei Ying‒”I invited you!” “You paid for tea.” “That’s not at all the same amount of money as a meal for three!” “Mn. Too late.” “Lan Zhan!”‒and they left to head back home. A-Yuan was a bit quieter this time and Lan Zhan almost asked if something was wrong, but Wei Ying beat him to it.

“Come here,” Wei Ying told A-Yuan, crouching down in front of him. Lan Zhan watched as he used his sleeve to wipe his nose and then fixed his little scarf around him, tucking it into his jacket. “You want me to carry you?” A-Yuan shook his head which earned a raised eyebrow from Wei Ying. “You want to walk?”

“Zhan-gege,” A-Yuan said, holding his arms up to him.

“Eh, A-Yuan, let’s not bother Gege, okay? He carried you already,” Wei Ying said.

“I don’t mind,” Lan Zhan offered. Wei Ying looked up at him.

“Aiya, Lan Zhan, if you keep this up, how am I supposed to let you leave?” he teased. Lan Zhan decided any answer he had to that wouldn’t be a good one and instead just picked up A-Yuan. “You’re smiling again.”

Lan Zhan ignored him again, letting A-Yuan lay his head on his shoulder as he continued to walk. Wei Ying laughed and kept up the pace.

“Are we just going to Jiejie’s cabin?” Wei Ying asked. Lan Zhan looked at him over A-Yuan’s head.

“I can walk you home if you’d prefer.”

Wei Ying just smiled at him and shrugged. “Either way, I don’t mind. Whatever means I get to bother you longer.”

“You don’t bother me,” Lan Zhan said. I bother you, he didn’t say.

"I keep telling you, Lan Zhan, I'm very annoying," Wei Ying teased, though Lan Zhan was beginning to think they weren't jokes. Maybe they had more in common than he originally assumed.

"Mn, as am I."

"No, you're not, you're perfect," Wei Ying laughed. Lan Zhan kept his eyes forward.

"Then so are you."

Wei Ying took a deep breath, loud enough for Lan Zhan to notice, and let himself laugh it off. Again, Lan Zhan couldn’t help but notice how much his presence was a welcome one. In fact, he didn’t want him to leave. The only other person with who he’d felt so comfortable was his brother. It was strange.

Was this the way Lan Huan felt about everyone?

“Did he fall asleep that quickly?” Wei Ying asked softly, leaning close to check A-Yuan. Lan Zhan craned his neck to see he was indeed sound asleep, eyes closed and breaths even. The adoration Lan Zhan felt was only broken by the close proximity of Wei Ying’s breath on his jaw. “I can take him.”

“Wouldn’t that wake him?”

“Maybe, but he was just being a brat when he wanted you to carry him. Don’t feel obligated to,” Wei Ying insisted. Lan Zhan shrugged carefully.

“I don’t mind.”

Wei Ying’s fingers grazed his spine as he put some space between them again and A-Yuan’s presence was the only thing that kept Lan Zhan from shivering. It still covered his body in chills that didn’t make sense. He looked over to Wei Ying again and noticed the way the sun shined through the trees and seemed to capture him perfectly. Maybe aesthetically pleasing was too modest for him.

“Ah, Lan Zhan, Lan Zhan!” Wei Ying said, sighing loudly as he threw his arms out. Lan Zhan nearly shushed him so he wouldn’t wake A-Yuan, but the boy didn’t even stir and he had to assume he was accustomed to a father that spoke this much. “You are far too much.”

“Too much?” Lan Zhan asked carefully.

Wei Ying looked at him, exasperated almost. That almost sick feeling knotted in his stomach all over again.

“You watch over me when I get drunk and nearly ruin your vacation, you entertain me when I talk at you for hours, and now you’re entirely unphased and kind to my kid? I’m only one man, Lan Zhan, and you’re simply too good to be true,” Wei Ying stated. His tone of voice sounded like he was complaining, but his words and his smile told an entirely different story. Lan Zhan had no response.

“Mn.”

Wei Ying laughed that warm laugh of his and it led into a groan, his head tilting back. His face was flushed a deep red. This time, it was clear it had nothing to do with the cold or alcohol. Lan Zhan couldn’t take his eyes off him.

“What are you doing to me?” he asked. It was a question Lan Zhan was convinced was rhetorical. Wei Ying was in a relationship with a child and lived on his mountain that people never moved away from‒Lan Zhan had done nothing to mess with any of that. It wasn’t a real question.

So Lan Zhan didn’t answer and they finished their walk to the cabin.

Wei Ying used the key to unlock the door and Lan Zhan took A-Yuan to the bedroom without thought, laying him on the neatly made bed. He carefully moved the blankets to cover him up and Wei Ying grabbed the pillows to make a barricade between his son and the edge of the bed.

When they found themselves back in the main room, Lan Zhan found himself face to face with this man who was somehow both the most comforting and most anxiety-inducing man he’d ever met. Wei Ying stared right at him, not wavering from eye contact even a little. Lan Zhan waited for him to speak first.

“My adoptive mother doesn’t like me,” Wei Ying said. It came out of seemingly nowhere, but Lan Zhan stayed silent. “She’s convinced herself that her husband had an affair and that I’m the product of that affair, so she takes it out on me. Always has, probably always will no matter what. It’s fine. But… When I got a bit older, I learned it didn’t matter what I did because she would hate me no matter what. So I spiraled. Got kicked out of boarding schools, isolated myself, lost contact with my siblings, was just reckless and caused a lot of collateral damage. Got in a fight one night and Wen Ning tried to save my ass, but he got pushed and slammed his head on the edge of a concrete slab. He was unconscious for days because of brain swelling. And even then, he and his sister picked me up, dusted me off, brought me home, and helped me to get my shit together. I’m still trying to make up for the trouble I caused, but… Anyway, that’s why I was so drunk I couldn’t stand it. Anniversary of the day I nearly got my best friend killed, so, you know. Bad coping, whatever.”

Lan Zhan blinked a few times and he took in the words he was saying. Honestly, the drunk version of him didn’t seem like the type to get into fights. But, then again, maybe that spoke of his progress. He hadn’t seemed like that since he met him, either. He was kind and friendly and a good father.

“Date number two, so there’s your answer,” Wei Ying offered, voice a bit softer. It was only then that Lan Zhan realized he should’ve probably responded.

“Date number two?” Lan Zhan echoed instead of anything relevant. Namely, because every date he ever recalled had been uncomfortable and awkward and, so far, the two “dates” he’d had with Wei Ying had only gotten awkward when he realized they were dates. Wei Ying smiled and let out a breathy laugh, shrugging.

“Or something, I guess,” he said, still searching Lan Zhan’s face for something, “I stopped drinking every other night of the year, though, just so you know. And-and one day I plan to stop drinking on that day, just, so, like, you know you’re not getting into something toxic. If you want to get into something at all, that is. With me, I mean. Like, a thing.”

Wei Ying spoke a lot, often in circles, and yet that was the first time Lan Zhan hadn’t quite understood.

“I’m sorry?” he said.

“You still like me, right? That’s what I’m asking,” Wei Ying simplified. Lan Zhan found himself nodding before he could even really think too much about it. It earned him that bright smile as Wei Ying relaxed a bit more. “Good. Cool. Awesome.”

“Mn.”

Wei Ying stood there, his fingers tapping against his thighs as he looked at Lan Zhan. It was almost distracting, but, considering Lan Zhan’s sole focus was on him anyway, it didn’t really matter. Still, his eyes went to them, watching the way his hand moved. Did he do that before? Instinctually, Lan Zhan’s thumb rubbed between his fingers.

“Lan Zhan,” Wei Ying said. Lan Zhan’s head lifted to look him in the eyes again, but he didn’t even get to see what his name was called for before lips were on his.

Lan Zhan had never been kissed before. He’d gotten close to it, but he usually stopped them with polite declines. This one, for some reason, he wasn’t so eager to decline. The whole process seemed to slow his brain down. Wei Ying’s lips were warm and comforting, similar to his voice and his laugh and his smile. It was fitting and safe and maybe Lan Huan was onto something when he tried to tell him how nice it was to have someone to kiss.

Wei Ying broke the kiss only a few moments after it started, keeping it chaste and experimental and it took a few seconds for Lan Zhan to open his eyes again. When he met his gaze, Wei Ying was smiling at him in the most hesitant way he’d seen since he met him.

“Was that alright?” Wei Ying asked. Lan Zhan nodded once before he remembered that there was a whole child right in the next room.

“Aren’t you married?” Lan Zhan asked. Wei Ying’s eyes widened in shock and confusion.

“What? Where did that even‒Oh, A-Yuan, no. No, no, no. I’m single. Very single. So single,” Wei Ying insisted, nervous laughter bubbling out of him, “Ah, Lan Zhan, I can’t believe you let me carry on that way thinking I was married, how shameless.”

Lan Zhan’s face grew hot at that, feeling a bit ashamed now that he thought about it. Perhaps he should ask that question earlier next time instead of letting what he thought was a married man insist they were going on dates. If there was a next time, that is. He didn’t really anticipate that happening considering it took so many years for Lan Zhan to even find this one person.

“He’s adopted. When I first moved here, I got really close to one of the older women who had lived upon this mountain her whole life. She raised A-Yuan, but when she died, I took him on full time. Sort of. It’s sort of a communal thing, really, but he calls me Baba and spends most nights sneaking into my bed, so he’s basically all mine,” Wei Ying explained, his normal teasing air coming back. He reached forward to nudge Lan Zhan, but kept his hand on his arm. “You’re silly.”

“I’m not‒”

“Lan Zhan,” Wei Ying laughed, his hand sliding down to Lan Zhan’s. He grabbed it and squeezed tight. Lan Zhan’s heart was slamming into his chest and his head was spinning and his stomach was tied in knots and yet he wanted none of it to stop. “Ask me anything and I’ll give you the answer. I’m sorry I confused you.”

Ask me anything, Wei Ying said. Lan Zhan swallowed as that sentence looped in his mind and he thought about, well, everything. Everything his brother told him, everything he’d read in stories and seen in movies, everything he’d never felt before, everything he’d convinced himself were lies. And yet here he was, wanting to kiss this man again simply because it felt nice. That was overwhelming and he decided he would think about it later instead.

Which, in itself was impressive.

“Can you kiss me again?” Lan Zhan asked instead of asking something about Wei Ying’s life. He’d learned a lot in the last few minutes, more than he’d learned in the many conversations he’d had with him before. He could take a break, couldn’t he?

Wei Ying smiled bright and nodded, leaning into him.

“You have no idea how badly I’ve been waiting to hear that.”

#wangxian #wangxian fic #lan wangji #wei wuxian #wen yuan #the untamed #mdzs #my fic

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gusu-emilu · 3 years

Text

Cantatio: Chapter Four

Ship: Lan Zhan / Wei Ying (POV Lan Zhan)

Summary: Wei Ying and Nie Huaisang cause trouble in Lan Qiren’s class. Lan Zhan isn’t amused.

Cloud Recesses Academy AU, Rated T (technically this is a series but this chapter can stand alone too) - read on AO3

< Ch. 3 | Ch. 5 > | chapter list

Lan Wangji had expected the first day of classes to be long.

But not this long.

The expression ‘time flies when you’re having fun’ had never held much truth for the young cultivator, who believed that a better phrasing would be ‘time proceeds at a pace directly proportional to one’s concentration.’

Being trained in Daoist meditation techniques since his first sign of infantile self-awareness had granted Lan Wangji the ability to bend his perception of time with his focus. When he rose long before dawn and sat in Lotus Position to meditate, the silent depths of stillness enabled him to traverse hours in what felt like the blink of an eye, yet the insights he obtained remained undistorted by the time skip.

Unless he was disrupted by the loud crash of Wei Wuxian falling out of bed on the other side of the room.

But that was beside the point.

The more Lan Wangji focused, the faster the world moved. His studies were one of the pursuits that he paid the most careful attention to. He listened to professors with unwavering interest, picking up on the slightest inflections of their voices, and he ruminated on intriguing sentences for hours after a lesson finished. Therefore it made sense that although the school day would be long, its duration would be reasonable, for his mind would be well-occupied.

Yet Lan Qiren was still lecturing about Ancient Texts, and it was only the first class of the day!

The problem was not a lack of interest. Ancient Texts had always been a special aptitude of Lan Wangji. The problem was that he wasn’t fully focused on the lecture, and therefore it dragged on. As Lan Qiren’s stentorian voice intoned perfectly pronounced phrases of poetry, his mind kept ping-ponging between thoughts of what he would say to Wen Qing about last night, what Wei Wuxian looked like while sleeping—no, that never crossed his mind—and what could be inside the strange closet that sat smugly in his dorm room. He imagined that the closet was fully aware of the mess it had caused and was snickering at the shameful memory of Lan Wangji being thrown around a girls’ dormitory by a giant beetle.

Rule #1034: Learning comes first.

Lan Wangji needed to recenter his focus.

He picked up his brush and pressed the end of its handle into his palm. It was highly improper to mistreat a calligraphy tool like this, but Lan Wangji was getting desperate.

The pressure from the blunt wood roused him back into the moment.

Lan Qiren was pacing alongside the disciples’ desks, his mustache whiskers quivering as he spoke with a stern yet aloof tone.

“The poem I just recited was translated from an ancient predecessor to our language. Of course, translations never capture the full nuance of a passage. Therefore, now that you have heard but a cloudy reflection of this magnus opus, we will begin analyzing the poem in its original language, Trans-Himalayan,” Lan Qiren said.

The entire classroom groaned. Nie Huaisang rested his chin in his palm, looking the most bored out of everyone.

“What’s the point?” Wei Wuxian muttered. “When are we ever going to need to know Trans-Himalayan?”

“Shut up. You’ll need to know Trans-Himalayan if you want to pass the class. That should be enough,” hissed Jiang Cheng.

A few moments later, Nie Huaisang leaned over. “…Who are Tran, Sim, and Leia? They sound like the type to have a threesome.”

“…”

Every disciple in the room sucked in a collective breath of shocked amusement, their twisted smiles on the verge of bursting.

Nie Huaisang opened his silk fan and covered his own smirk in a hurry, looking at the ceiling with light eyes that concealed a calculated satisfaction beneath their innocence. A single wheeze escaped from Wei Wuxian’s mouth before he could stop it, like air escaping from a balloon.

Lan Qiren did not seem to notice. He criticized the Jin Clan disciple who was stumbling over foreign words as she recited the ancient poem for the class.

Of course, once you let go of the mouth of a balloon that’s full of air, it’s inevitable that it will fly around the room in a sputtering chaos.

“Aiya, Huaisang, that’s not how you say it,” Wei Wuxian murmured. “You’ve got the wrong people in the bed. It’s supposed to be pronounced, ‘Tran, Sim, and Lan Qiren.’”

Now at least five disciples were snickering. Nie Huaisang was silently buried in his fan, but his scrunched eyes and heaving shoulders said more than enough. Even Jiang Cheng, who was clearly counting how many hours of detention he’d get if he slammed Wei Wuxian’s face into the desk, could not prevent his lips from curling.

Ridiculous, Lan Wangji thought. He was sorry he had tuned his mind back in to the classroom.

The Jin Clan disciple was still fumbling through her recitation. All eyes were on Lan Qiren, but not for the reason the old professor would have hoped.

“Remember that really poetic line? ‘Balance to both ends of the world,’” Wei Wuxian parroted in sing-song. “Well, that’s the part where Tran and Sim each grab one side of Lan Qiren’s mustache.”

Jiang Cheng was the first to break. His high-pitched giggle—unhinged and childlike—pierced through the air like a siren. However, that surprising turn of events was quickly forgotten as the entire room erupted into feverish laughter.

The balloon had popped.

“What is the meaning of this?! Settle down! Everyone, quiet!” Lan Qiren huffed. He held his arms stiffly out to his sides with the sleeves of his robes draping in two giant hoops, as if he wanted to suck all the laughter into his sleeves to snuff it out.

Lan Wangji glared at Wei Wuxian, but the insolent clown was so overcome with giggling that he did not notice.

Apparently, Lan Qiren had followed his nephew’s line of sight to find the culprit, and soon accosted him.

“Wei Wuxian! What have you done? Confess to your actions!”

This only increased the volume of the laughter that ricocheted off the classroom ceiling into Lan Qiren’s offended ears, which seemed to spew out hot steam in protest. Lan Wangji felt a bit guilty for unintentionally ratting out Wei Wuxian to be the recipient of his uncle’s wrath.

Wei Wuxian finally reigned in his mirth and looked up at Lan Qiren with precariously composed sincerity. “I was only saying that I want to write a poem about mustache whiskers. I call it The Ballad of Catfish.”

Actually, no, Lan Wangji did not feel bad at all.

“Wei Wuxian! What is this disrespect? My classroom is no place for jokes! You should be focusing on the poem in Trans-Himalayan!”

The disciples bit their lips at the mention of the word that had started the whole fiasco, but the balloon of laughter had finally deflated.

“Wei Wuxian!”

“Yes, Shifu?”

“Do you know how to read this poem?”

“Not yet, Shifu.”

“Then why have you been chatting instead?”

“…Because I do not know how to read the poem, Shifu.”

Lan Qiren’s blood was boiling. “Wei Wuxian, since you are so illiterate, you will continue reading the poem to the class!” he barked, apparently not caring about the contradiction he just created.

“Yes, Shifu.”

Wei Wuxian blinked at his textbook.

“Where did we leave off?”

Lan Qiren sighed and shook his head with weary disapproval.

Wei Wuxian was actually able to perfectly read the last line the Jin Clan disciple had said, to Lan Qiren’s obvious displeasure. However, he was already stumped by elementary words in the next line. He must have been reciting from memory and had already reached the end of his mind’s fishing reel.

“Uh…um…” He looked up at the professor like a child asking for a piggyback ride.

“Wangji, please assist Young Master Wei.”

Lan Wangji was used to being called on to help other students. After all, it was rare that he did not know the answer.

“Swan.” Lan Wangji said the word in both languages for clarity.

Wei Wuxian nodded and continued. He was stuck again three syllables later.

“Wangji,” Lan Qiren called.

Lan Wangji looked down at the complex inky scribbles in the poetry book on his desk. He realized that he did not understand the line either.

“Lan Zhan? Some help?” Wei Wuxian said.

Lan Wangji paused, then flattened the page in front of him as he spoke.

“I do not know.”

Wei Wuxian eyes widened in disbelief. He looked at Jiang Cheng. Jiang Cheng scoffed and turned his head away, but his pupils soon snuck into the corners of his eyes to observe Lan Wangji with chilled interest.

“Well, huh, then…” Lan Qiren frowned. “I suppose this text is rather difficult. But that is no excuse for misbehavior! The line reads, ‘Horrified, the warrior realized that, like a swan crushing her eggs as she shielded them from a snake, it was his hand that plunged the knife into the Emperor’s heart.’ It is a pivotal turning point in the poem’s narrative and is frequently quoted by other authors. It is critical that you grasp every literary metaphor related to this line!”

The rest of Ancient Texts passed peacefully. Lan Wangji enjoyed the challenge of dissecting the poem in its original language. It was a tragic story about a warrior who, upon learning that he had been manipulated by the enemy in an assassination plot to kill the emperor he served, abandoned his beautiful homeland to hide in repentant shame for eternity.

Although the stories were different, it reminded Lan Wangji of his father.

He quickly shoved that thought away.

After class ended, the disciples entered the courtyard outside. Lan Wangji hung back. He had to tell his uncle about last night’s incident. Someone needed to be alerted if a portal really did exist in a Cloud Recesses dormitory, and who better to inform than the overseer of the Cloud Recesses himself, Clan Leader Lan Qiren?

However, his uncle already had a lot of tasks on his plate, especially now that he and the clan leaders had to track down wherever the monster spirit that possessed the beetle had come from. Furthermore, it would be embarrassing for Lan Wangji to convey the full details of his story, and he still did not have an adequate explanation for what had transpired. And he definitely was not secretly worried that if he exposed the truth of the closet door, he and Wei Wuxian would be relocated and would no longer be roommates. That was not a factor.

Yet the rules tugged at his feet and at his tongue.

Shoulder the weight of morality. Be strict with yourself. Be loyal and filial.

If he did not tell his uncle…perhaps his brother would be an acceptable confidante?

But first, Wen Qing. He stepped out into the sunny courtyard.

“Wei-xiong, that was hilarious! I’ve never had such a good time in a class!” Nie Huaisang said as he bounded over to his dark-robed friend.

“Ahaha, why give me all the credit, though? You’re a funny little devil as well.”

Nie Huaisang shook his hands wildly in front of him, as if this suggestion were too much for him to hold.

“No, no, no, I wasn’t trying to be funny! I really didn’t know how to say it!”

“Hahaha! That’s even funnier, then!”

Jiang Cheng elbowed Wei Wuxian in the ribs. “Neither of you are funny.” He grabbed his brother by the arm and started dragging him across the courtyard. “Move your ass. If I’m late to the daozhang’s class because of you, I’m going to punch your head in.”

“What are you fussing about, Jiang Cheng? You were laughing louder than anyone!”

“Was not!”

Lan Wangji swooped in front of their path. “Causing disruptions in class is prohibited.”

Jiang Cheng scowled. Nie Huaisang covered his face with his fan and hid the rest of his body behind Wei Wuxian, who stood smirking with his hands on his hips.

“Aiya, Lan Zhan! You better be careful! If you say those rules so much, you’ll turn into the scroll they’re written on!”

Lan Wangji furrowed his brow. “Boring.”

“Yeah, exactly! Okay, step aside, Lan Zhan, you’re going to make us late for class. Unless you want to be the reason we break another rule? Haha! Come on, let’s go,” he said as he tugged Jiang Cheng and Nie Huaisang away.

“Get your fat hands off me,” Jiang Cheng said with a shove.

Nie Huaisang turned his head over his shoulder and waved. “Bye, Second Young Master Lan!”

Lan Wangji eyed Nie Huaisang suspiciously as he scurried after the bickering siblings and disappeared around a temple at the far side of the courtyard. In the time Lan Wangji had spent accompanying Lan Xichen on trips to Qinghe, he had learned a few things about the small, skittish young cultivator.

Nie Huaisang was crafty. When he wanted entertainment, all he needed to do is throw a match into the firepit—nothing profound, just a provocative little comment that could provide some kindling—and then he would sit back and watch as everyone burned down the world around him. Most assumed he carried his signature fans for decoration. Lan Wangji theorized that he carried them to exercise his talent for fanning the flames of discord.

Of course, if confronted, Nie Huaisang would insist that he knew three times less about the world than anyone else.

On his own, the boy was manageable. Endearing, even.

But next to Wei Wuxian?

It was a partnership forged in Hell.

After the troublesome trio disappeared, Lan Wangji searched for Wen Qing, hoping to apologize for intruding in her room and discuss the teleportation closet with her, but she had disappeared after Ancient Texts.

He caught sight of her again right as Song Lan’s Beings & Creatures class was beginning. To his disappointment, he would have to wait until its completion to speak to her.

It was a long wait. Song Lan’s class did not pass peacefully.

* * *

Thanks for reading! If you enjoyed this chapter, you can be a supportive sibling like Jiang Yanli by liking, reblogging, and visiting me on AO3! New chapters posted every Monday on AO3 and Tuesday on Tumblr.

Ch. 5 > | chapter list

#mdzs fanfic #mdzs fanfiction #the untamed fanfiction #the untamed fanfic #wangxian fanfiction #wangxian fanfic #mdzs fic #wangxian #mdzs #cql #the untamed #lan wangji #wei wuxian #lan zhan #wei ying #nie huaisang #lan qiren #cantatio #emilu talks

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rosethornewrites · 4 years

Text

Fic: the thread may stretch or tangle but it will never break, ch. 5

Characters: Lán Zhàn | Lán Wàngjī, Wèi Yīng | Wèi Wúxiàn, Wēn Qíng, Wēn Níng | Wēn Qiónglín, Granny Wēn, Lán Yuàn | Lán Sīzhuī

Additional Tags: Pre-Slash, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Secrets, Crying, Masks, Soulmates, Truth, Self-Esteem Issues, Regret, It was supposed to be a one-shot, Fix-It, Eventual Relationships, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, wwx needs a hug, Nightmares, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Filial Piety, Handfasting, Phobias, Sleeping Together, Fear, Panic Attacks

Summary: The visit to the market, the special dinner, and an unwelcome surprise.

Note: Meilin’s name means “plum jade.” Wen Qing seems to refer to Fourth Uncle as shifu, but I did excessive research and it can also be jifu, so I went with that. Yes, I brought in the concept of zhiyin, which has historical origins and has been talked about as a word that could have been used in The Untamed, a missed opportunity that means both “soulmate” and more literally “understanding the music,” as in of the heart/soul. Which, given that Lan WangJi wrote Wei WuXian a love song and they play a duet of it near the end of CQL, like omg. I did far too much research on shit like dying cloth and what plants grow best in poor soil, etc. Some dialog is adapted from episode 29 of CQL.

AO3 link

Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4

---------

The trip to town is blessedly uneventful. Wen Qing sends one of the older aunties, who had introduced herself as Meilin-jie at breakfast and who is put in charge of the money, and Wen QiongLin, who insists Lan WangJi call him Wen Ning.

He sends the missive to XiChen first, then does his best to distract himself from what must follow before his brother’s arrival: a long overdue conversation with Wei Ying. After his musings of the morning, Lan WangJi had realized perhaps the best way to minimize damage and protect his zhiji was to, with his consent, formalize the handfasting from years ago.

He only hopes the idea does not upset or offend Wei Ying; Lan WangJi himself has no scruples on the matter. His understanding of his feelings toward his soulmate have cleared since coming to Burial Mounds.

With the letter sent, Lan WangJi has only days to approach him.

Wei Ying is, unsurprisingly, easily sidetracked in each shop, flitting around to browse while Meilin selects supplies for sewing blankets and fibers for the making of bedding. Lan WangJi is pleased when she asks his opinion when it comes to fabrics for the more practical robes the aunties will sew for him, letting her explain the benefits of certain fabrics. Ultimately the choice is simply a matter of color.

Lan WangJi is practical, and chooses the least expensive option, an undyed fabric that’s a mottled cream. His choice receives a nod of approval from Meilin. She easily haggles the price down further by buying a bulk amount, clearly planning to make more robes.

“On the way home, we’ll harvest bamboo leaves,” she tells him, and pats his arm with a smile. “We can use them to dye the fabric a pale green for you. Very light, but it will even out the color, make it look nicer. We’ll get a cheap mordant in the market.”

Her thoughtfulness toward him, when he’s foisted himself on the refugees, is touching.

Wei Ying chooses that moment to wander over. “Light colors stain so easily, though.”

Meilin only laughs at him. “Not everyone is like you, young master. There are other dyes we can create for you, darker ones. I was once a seamstress, you know!”

Lan WangJi had never considered the art of fabric dying to be something he would learn, but he is willing to help the aunties if needed; any learning is worthwhile.

She chooses other, heavier fabrics for use creating blankets and bedding, haggling ruthlessly but buying in large enough quantities that the shop owner is satisfied.

A bookstore is nearby, giving Lan WangJi the opportunity to quickly peruse books about plants and farming.

“Carrots, beets, squash, beans, tomatoes,” he reports when he rejoins them outside.

He feels mildly guilty for perusing without purchase, but practicality dictates his actions now.

“There are a lot of v-varieties of squash,” Wen Ning contributes. “So we can t-try to grow several?”

“Not potatoes?” Wei Ying asks, sounding a bit put-out.

“Wen Qing is correct in that they are not as easy to grow,” Lan WangJi tells him.

Wei Ying just sighs. “Well, at least it’s something other than radishes.”

Meilin insists they have a bit of lunch to tide them over, purchasing inexpensive food from street vendors. Wen Ning does not require food, and Lan WangJi claims to be practicing inedia and insists Wei Ying eat his share. And with the three of them watching expectantly, he for once doesn’t argue.

Since they expect XiChen in the coming week, Wen Qing had given them leave to purchase a small amount of tea. Lan WangJi selects based on scent, choosing one he is certain his brother has never tried, but is likely to enjoy.

After some time in the market purchasing plants, seeds, herbs, produce, meat, and building material, it becomes easily apparent that bringing their purchases back to Burial Mounds will not be a simple endeavor. Meilin’s suggestion that they buy a cart, which will also be useful during farming and building, is a welcome one.

By the time they head back toward Burial Mounds, Wen Ning pushing the laden cart, the sun is starting to set, and dusk is fast approaching when they reach its borders. The trek to the small settlement leaves them nearing twilight. Though it is still hours until hai shi, Lan WangJi’s day has been full, and he looks forward to rest. He can only imagine Wei Ying, whose body is weakened by prolonged lack of food, is exhausted.

Wen Qing seems to agree. She takes one look at him and tells him to go lay down “before I make you,” holding up a needle.

While Lan WangJi prefers she not threaten him, he also knows his stubborn nature likely has made that a necessity. Wen Qing waits until Wei Ying is past her on his way to the cave, then looks at him pointedly and jerks her head subtly in a silent order to go with him.

He leaves the rest of the settlement to unload the cart, his mind turning once again to the need to address their relationship, the need to address what he knows Wei Ying does not understand about what happened in the Cold Spring cave those years ago.

A-Yuan’s interference, running for Wei Ying the moment he sees him and insisting upon being picked up, allows Lan WangJi to catch up. Popo is lagging behind the boy, looking quite tired.

“Ah, Wei-gongzi, a-Yuan hasn’t taken his nap yet. He was too excited waiting for you.”

The slight smile on her face tells Lan WangJi that the elder had made sure of that; it’s nice to know these people are also trying to care for Wei Ying however possible.

Wei Ying doesn’t seem to notice the smile, swinging a-Yuan around in his arms. “Okay, my little radish, let’s get you a nap before dinner.”

Lan WangJi offers a short, polite bow to popo who waves it off in embarrassment, and follows them to the cave.

“I will play ‘Rest,’ so he may sleep easier.”

That gets a sideways glance from Wei Ying, but he seems to accept that Lan WangJi isn’t going to yield.

While they nap, Lan WangJi attempts meditation, but is kept from it by his own thoughts, his own fears. Instead he finds himself watching them, Wei Ying curled around the boy protectively, a-Yuan’s face snuggled against his chest.

He expects Wei Ying will be angry he never told him of the handfasting, but he also fears he will be against the very idea. Lan WangJi feels as though they have danced around defining their relationship for years. During the Phoenix Mountain hunt, he thought perhaps that had changed when Wei Ying called him zhiji.

But there were different types of zhiji, and he has never asked what Wei Ying means by it. Lan WangJi would be happy for Wei Ying to be his zhiji, his zhiyin, and beyond. His everything.

He longs to be the same to Wei Ying.

He fears his regard for Wei Ying surpasses Wei Ying’s regard for him, that he will regard Lan WangJi with disgust.

It is an old fear, one he is well-acquainted with, and one he can no longer allow to control him.

He also hopes to convince Wei Ying to confide in XiChen about his golden core—at least about no longer having one, if not how.

Lan WangJi does not usually keep secrets from XiChen—the handfasting is the exception. But even though Wei Ying had not asked Lan WangJi to keep his secret, he will not reveal it to XiChen himself.

Lan WangJi has already done so much to lose Wei Ying’s trust, and he never wishes to give him reason to doubt him again.

Eventually Wen Qing comes to summon them for dinner. They exit the cave to find red lanterns hung on the trees and structures, and only then does Lan WangJi remember her comment about a “special dinner” the night before.

Wei Ying looks surprised to see the Wen remnants waiting in the communal area. They stand and gather around when he walks in.

“Ah, you’re all still awake? Isn’t it late?”

Lan WangJi realizes that they probably retire shortly after dark, keeping to the schedule of farmers.

“All these lanterns… Aren’t the lanterns too costly?” Wei Ying asks.

“We made them, of course,” Wen Qing replies, carrying in a plate of food and setting it on one of the tables. “We’ll hang more along the mountain path. The last thing we need is you slipping and breaking a leg, making more work for me.”

Wei Ying laughs softly, and sits at a table. None of the others move.

“What, you haven’t started dinner yet?”

“No. We were waiting for you.”

Wei Ying blinks at Wen Qing.

“Why did you wait for me?”

She offers him a cup, acting as a proper hostess.

“You’ve worked hard,” she tells him.

Though he takes the cup, Wei Ying looks uncomfortable. Lan WangJi knows he’s never been comfortable with gratitude, even though he’s often earned it, almost as though he still feels unworthy. When he thanks others, it’s often in a self-effacing way, as though he is undeserving of the kindness he has received.

“You’re suddenly talking so nicely to me,” he comments, grinning. “I’m a little scared.”

His voice is undeniably fond, and another laugh ripples through the small group. There’s a camaraderie among these people, one Lan WangJi hopes he might be able to join. These months and their struggles have made them close, though he doubts Wei Ying allows himself to feel a part of it.

This dinner, he realizes, is the way they have chosen to let him know he truly is family. Wei Ying adopted them when he saved them from certain death, and they have adopted him in return.

Wen Qing smiles. “In fact, they all wished to have dinner with you. To thank you. But you’re always running around and busy, or shutting yourself in your cave for days on end not letting anyone disturb you, and they didn’t want to disrupt your work and annoy you.”

Lan WangJi watches Wei Ying, the way his face slackens from the smiling expression he usually maintains, the words of gratitude making it hard to maintain the mask he presents to the world.

“They thought you didn’t like interacting with others and didn’t want to talk to them,” Wen Qing scolds gently, “so they were too embarrassed to protest.”

A murmur of agreement rises among the Wens.

Surprise crosses Wei Ying’s face, and Lan WangJi realizes he had probably kept his distance believing the Wens would want little to do with him. Regardless of the unconcerned face he presents to the world when he’s criticized and when crass and slanderous stories about him are shared, he knows his zhiji feels them deeply. The smiling mask he presents to the world hides the pain of all the traumas and ills he has suffered.

And with Wei Ying’s role in the war, he had probably assumed despite having saved them they would fear him. So he had kept his distance, had split from his adopted clan to appease cultivation politics, and had accepted loneliness as his only companion all these months.

Lan WangJi’s heart aches for him, remembering his reaction over lunch just yesterday to the news of his shijie’s impending wedding, the excitement so quickly followed by a forlorn dejection as he realized he would never see it, that he had sacrificed that ability through his choice to remain true to his sense of justice and righteousness.

Wen Qing smiles at him again with a soft sigh, the expression gentle as though she too knows Wei Ying’s pain.

“Now a-Ning woke up, and we’ve been busy celebrating. Hanguang-Jun’s decision to stay, we’ve been busy with arrangements. Meilin-jie said you had a nice lunch in town, but even if you’re not hungry, please sit with us and chat and have a few drinks.”

The Wens take this as a call to disperse to the gathered tables to eat, and Lan WangJi takes a seat at Wei Ying’s table, along with popo, a-Yuan, Wen Qing, and jifu.

Wei Ying’s expression is momentarily reflective, but then perks up.

“Drinks? There’s liquor here?”

He is clearly excited, as though Lan WangJi hadn’t bought him wine during lunch just the previous day. Wei Ying’s obsession with alcohol, combined with his mental state, worries him.

Someone brings over a jar, and jifu opens it, smiling widely.

“Fruit wine,” he clarifies. “Made from the wild fruit growing on the mountain.”

Lan WangJi focuses on filling his bowl, not commenting as he would like that perhaps the fruit would have been better for Wei Ying to eat, given his emaciated state. But this is not his celebration, and the Wens are obviously elated to be able to offer a luxury to their benefactor.

But given the spread of food on the tables now, the fact that there are still funds remaining, the comments he’d heard over breakfast about the impending radish harvest, he can focus on helping ensure Wei Ying gains health again.

These refugees and Wei Ying deserve a bit of luxury in the face of all they have lost. Such small luxuries offer slivers of hope in the darkness they have faced.

“Jifu likes drinking. He knows how to brew, and he made it especially for you,” Wen Qing tells him. “He’s been trying for a while.”

“Really? I’ll have to try some!”

Wei Ying sounds excited and eager, the first Lan WangJi has seen since Yiling the previous day, and his excitement only grows when he tastes and deems the wine delicious. Jifu watches, laughing, his expression one of paternal affection.

When jifu offers some to Lan WangJi, he thanks him but declines. Wei Ying’s laugh is unexpected, his eyes turning to half-moons with glee.

“Lan Zhan has no tolerance for liquor!” His smile is true and beautiful, the kind he hasn’t seen from him in what might be years now, since before the war perhaps. “I once tricked him into drinking and he passed out after only one cup! If all Lans have such low tolerance, no wonder alcohol is forbidden in the Cloud Recesses!”

Gentle laughs rise up from the tables around them, but Lan WangJi isn’t offended. Though he had submitted himself for punishment, that the memory gives Wei Ying joy now is enough compensation for him.

“Ah, I was a brat,” he comments. “But somehow we became close anyway.”

“You still are a brat,” Wen Qing tells him.

Wei Ying makes a show of being offended, but is quickly distracted when Wen Ning brings out more food and jifu pours him another bowl of wine.

Through the conversation, Lan WangJi learns Wen Ning has cooked all the dishes, is a proficient chef. He gathers the food is better prepared than they are used to, with a wider variety of flavors. He doesn’t contribute to the conversation while eating, and Wei Ying explains that Lan principles prohibit speaking while eating, and the Wens nod in acceptance. They still speak to him, but don’t expect a response.

A-Yuan giggles at Wen Ning’s appearance, as he has streaks of charcoal across his face from cooking, and calls him Coal-gege, to the laughter of the group. Wen Qing stands to wipe his face gently, in a motherly way.

Wei Ying’s eyes grow distant at that, the smile fading a bit, and Lan WangJi knows he is thinking about what he lost. He starts filling his zhiji’s bowl, taking care to avoid radishes, and it has the desired effect of distraction.

“You’re spoiling me, Lan Zhan,” he murmurs, his smile still dimmed, but firmly in the present again.

“You’re too thin,” popo tells him. “Always giving your food to a-Yuan.”

“Mn,” Lan WangJi agrees, skirting the line of the principle about speech without directly violating it.

He is, after all, not in the Cloud Recesses, even if he chooses to follow the rules regardless.

“And no one wants to have to carry you drunk to bed,” Wen Qing adds, “so you need to eat if you’re going to drink more.”

More soft laughter follows, along with a toast to “Wei-gongzi.” Lan WangJi joins with his cup of water. The atmosphere of the meal, the soft chatter at each table, is wholesome and comfortable, and very different to what he is used to, lacking the silence of Cloud Recesses or the strained feeling of banquets.

Distinctly distant from his own experiences, a sort of controlled chaos, and yet he finds it soothing.

Too soon, it seems, it is hai shi. Lan WangJi bids the room goodnight. Wei Ying waves as he heads out, still engaged in lively banter and drinking with several of the uncles, including jifu. Popo carries a sleepy a-Yuan from the area, accompanying him partway to the cave.

“Goodnight, Rich-gege,” the boy murmurs, half asleep. “I’m glad you’re staying.”

“I am as well.”

He pats the boy’s head before retiring to the cave.

Lan WangJi is still only somewhat familiar with life on Burial Mounds, and though he would normally wash his face before sleeping he will need to learn where to go for water in the morning instead.

Hours later, he’s woken by a shout of panic and a thump, followed by Wei Ying tripping over him blindly. He lights a talisman to find him plastered against the wall, his eyes wide and wild.

“Wei Ying?”

Wei Ying barely glances in his direction, then back to the center of the chamber, his flute held out like a shield.

“Dog. Dog, Lan Zhan.”

His voice is filled with more panic than Lan WangJi has ever heard from him, even in the midst of the worst battles in the war.

A growl catches his attention and elicits a whimper from Wei Ying.

Near the boulder Wei Ying uses as a bed, Lan WangJi can make out a pair of glowing red eyes. As he focuses, he can see the outline of a large dog, its body made of and leaking resentful energy. Animal ghosts aren’t uncommon, but this one seems especially hostile.

The normal protocol is to attempt liberation first, followed by suppression or elimination if necessary, but Wei Ying is pressed against the wall, curled in on himself, his voice a hoarse croak.

And so Lan WangJi does not feel guilt manifesting his guqin and using Chord Assassination to eliminate immediately, rending the resentful energy into wisps that dissipate into the shadows. He dismisses the instrument, and turns to Wei Ying, who is shaking, his breath coming in short, panicked gasps.

“Wei Ying, it’s gone.”

Wei Ying looks his way again, and Lan WangJi realizes he’s beyond words, his pupils blown wide in terror. He’s beyond even speaking, just mouthing “dog.”

Lan WangJi worries that manifesting his guqin again could send him into a full panic, that he could hurt himself. So instead he imbues his spiritual energy into his voice and hums “Clarity,” letting the song reach out to him to soothe.

It takes a couple of verses before Wei Ying’s tension starts to ease, the flute lowering. But his shaking doesn’t stop. Lan WangJi reaches for him slowly, pulling him away from the wall, closer to him.

“It’s gone, Wei Ying,” he repeats.

“Gone?”

His voice cracks in the middle of the word.

“Eliminated,” he clarifies. “It won’t come back.”

The sound Wei Ying makes in response is almost a sob, and he goes almost boneless in relief on the cave floor. Even now, he’s trembling, his breathing erratic, and Lan WangJi recognizes he’s having a mild panic attack.

He didn’t know Wei Ying was so afraid of dogs, never expected a phobia of this intensity—he’s seen him face down some of the most terrifying monsters with barely a blink, but he’s been sent into a state of near-hysteria by a ghost dog.

But Wei Ying is in no condition to explain, and he’s still in the throes of panic; he shouldn’t be alone. He doesn’t resist when Lan WangJi pulls him closer, shifting on the bedroll to share it, covering them both with the blanket, barely reacts at all. Wei Ying’s breath smells of alcohol, and he’s certain it made his fear worse.

Lan WangJi imbues his voice again and hums “Rest,” letting his zhiji settle against him. When he’s still, his breathing even, he softly sings “WangXian” to him somewhat self-indulgently, then listens to Wei Ying’s breathing until he, too, has fallen back to sleep.

#the untamed #untamed fanfiction #cql #chen qing ling #mdzs #mo dao zu shi #lan zhan #lan wangji #wei wuxian #wen qing #wen ning #wei ying #wen qionglin #my fanfiction

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i-am-gusu · 3 years

Text

Wei Ying has started spending more and more time with Huaisang lately. I’m happy for them, they’ve been working hard on mending their relationship, and now, Wei Ying spends two to three evenings a week with him, sometimes one of his days off. Never our Saturdates though, those are still very much sacred.

But…

Peru.

I trust Wei Ying. 100%. I trust Huaisang too. And I know that it’s good for both of them to be friends now, and that having a wide range of friendship is good for people in general. It gave me the opportunity to spend some time with Mianmian and Qin Su some more. With Xichen too. Sometimes with my Uncle.

But… Why do they have to spend so much time together? Why can’t I spend time with them too?

…

I’m feeling lonely. And left out. I see Wei Ying enough, even though I do miss him when he is gone. But I haven’t seen Huaisang in such a long time. I think the last time we spent a few hours together was… 3 months ago maybe?

I miss him. Huaisang, I mean.

And I miss my husband when he’s not home and I don’t know what to do with myself besides cooking something and playing with the bunnies.

Yes, I do go downstairs and play with the whole of them sometimes. It feels nice to have so many fluffy and warm bodies around all at once.

Under normal circumstances, I would have already told him. Probably a month ago, during our couple’s therapy. But we don’t have our couple’s therapy anymore. We stopped going, even though we still have our individual appointment and the door is still open for us to come back together. Our therapist decided that we were more than competent at discussing important issues together without her being there.

And yet… Here I am.

I haven’t told Wei Ying yet because I don’t want him to feel bad about having other people he sees and cares about besides me. Because I don’t want to make this all about me. And Wei Ying deserves to have really good friends like Huaisang to take care of him too.

Still… I’m feeling lonely. And I want to spend time with Huaisang. And I want to spend time with them both. I just… don’t really know how to ask for this yet. I know that all I have to do is to walk up to Wei Ying and tell him exactly that. This is what my therapist suggested I do when I told her during the session I had with her. “Your husband loves you very much, and I doubt that he would reject you for stating how you feel about this.”

I know that.

… But I also know that I’ve been… Very poor at making friends for the longest time… As well as not really knowing myself much, what I like to do in my spare time, hobbies and all. She suggested that maybe this is a great opportunity to seek out these things on my own. That “the loneliness, this time cushioned by your husband’s love and support, could lead to great self-discoveries rather than pain.”

But the pain is still there.

And I miss the friend I already have. And I miss the husband I already have.

I don’t want to make new friends. I want to see Huaisang.

…

I know I’m being very petty. I know Huaisang doesn’t belong to me. I also know I am being unjust to the other friends I have.

Like Qin Su and Mianmian. We’ve been to the movie theater a lot, especially in the past three weeks. I… do feel bad because all of the times we are together, it’s because Wei Ying is with Huaisang, and I do feel like I am using them to fill the void but… They’ve been telling me that they enjoy how much time we’ve spent together, and they always made sure that I had enough to eat, enough to drink, that the venues we picked weren’t too packed, and that the movies were good. They also made sure that I never get back home before Wei Ying does, and I’m not sure if that is because they planned it that way, but… It did feel really nice to be welcomed home by Wei Ying. Especially when he greets me with a kiss against the wall in the entryway and carries me to bed without missing a beat. I also like when we talk after, when he tells me about his time with Huaisang, and I tell him about the movie I’ve seen.

… There are some perks to missing him like I do. And I think Wei Ying misses me too. Still…

I also learnt to spend time with Jiang Yanli as well. She invited me over one day, so I could spend time with her and her children. I felt like I was betraying Wei Ying, seeing his family without him there, but he reassured me that night that he liked that his sister could count on me to be there to help when she was struggling to take a break, which was proving more difficult with the new addition to the family. Jin Li is not much of a fussy baby, very much like his sister for that, but Jin Ling is entering an age where he doesn’t like to listen to adults and is quick to throw a fit if he doesn’t get what he wants. Spending the afternoon with him is hard work, but it’s worth it to see the pure glee on his face when he has the opportunity to cook again. Yanli hasn’t been able to stand up as long as she used to yet. The delivery of her new baby hasn’t been the worst, but it left her more tired than she usually is. She did confide in me that perhaps it had to do with her mother, who has been calling her more often to berate her for the time she spends at the café, even though she’s currently on maternity leave. Yanli is the only one who speaks openly about Madam Yu’s actions, stating her displeasure at how Wei Ying has been treated by her without an ounce of remorse towards her mother. I do appreciate how much Wei Ying’s siblings love him and want to be there with him, even against their own family. I’m glad he receives so much support from others. He deserves it all.

I have spent some time with Xichen too. On one of my days off, I got to his place only to discover he broke his arm. It hit me that he didn’t let me know before, and I thought that maybe I hadn’t been there for him enough, and that I was at fault for that, but Xichen was quick to reassure me that I didn’t miss anything, “it happened yesterday evening and I was too tired when I got back from the hospital to tell anyone else.” Besides, Dage had been taking care of him, although he had to leave that day to work on a case. Xichen asked me if I could help him to wash his face because “I feel positively filthy and not in a sexy way,” which, brother, I love you, but no. Please. I did, however, help him take a bath, the same way he helped me too all these months ago. I gave him a rubber duck that he still keeps in his bathroom for some reason, and Xichen pretended to be 9 years old while I washed his back and his hair. I was trying not to get into his game, because I wasn’t sure how to respond to him being that playful with me, but then… I let myself try. Pretended with him. It didn’t help much with the washing, but the way we both sprawled around laughing, so hard that my middle hurt for two days after, was worth it. I really can’t think of another time we have been so open and carefree with each other. And, suddenly, I could understand Wei Ying and his brother’s relationship a bit better, in the way Xichen pulled on my ears once he was out of the bath and dressed up, and how I replied with a flick of my finger in the middle of his forehead. He whined that Dage was going to come back at me for this. He did. The day after, he brought me another pack of candy that he left on the counter before leaving for work. Wei Ying commented that I am one spoiled didi. To which I replied that I preferred being his spoiled gege.

I still cannot get tired of seeing the blush on his face as he rushes away whenever I tell him what he doesn’t expect to hear. A-Qing has made it known that she thinks he is the lamest cousin she has ever known. I do not agree with her, but she makes him laugh whenever she says that, for some unfathomable reason.

A-Qing started working with us a few weeks after we got back from our honeymoon. She had been hired by Mianmian while we were away, but was finishing working somewhere else, hence the time it took for her to come with us. It came to us as a surprise when she called Wei Ying her cousin one day after her shifts. It might have been a mistake on her part to let Wei Ying know Baoshan Sanren called her father, Xiao Xingcheng, to let him know she should apply here, as she was searching for a job. Well… I wouldn't call that a mistake, since Wei Ying wouldn't let go of her since, but she clearly made it known that she doesn't want anything to do with him ever again. Xue Yang certainly thinks it's hilarious and constantly goads Wei Ying to annoy her even more.

Xue Yang is… strange. He gets along well with Mo Xuanyu, another of our newer employees, this one selected by Huaisang. He told me I would never regret hiring him. Mo Xuanyu certainly is not as strange as Xue Yang. In fact, I wouldn't have hired Xue Yang at all if it wasn't for the fact that he was already following A-Qing everywhere in the shop, helping her clean up tables and floors, or that Wei Ying's uncle insisted we hire him too. Xiao Xingchen is Xue Yang's sponsor, helping him get out of the streets and get a better life for himself. Which I know Wei Ying relates to that too. Together with Mo Xuanyu, they do make quite the trio. If one didn't know, they could be mistaken for brothers, not in how they interact with each other (I know how Wei Ying interacts with his brother and this is nothing alike), but in how they share a similar sense of humor and behaviour. Mo Xuanyu would even look a little like Wei Ying if he were to smile more and stand taller than he does now.

I think Jiang Yanli noticed that too. She definitely adopted both of the boys as her own. Xue Yang calls her mom also. She even decided to teach Xue Yang how to make pastries, which… I'm glad she did. He is certainly much better hidden in the kitchen than he is serving customers. Besides. His creations are both delicious and adorable. I do appreciate that he's here now.

… I might have taken a few more pounds because of him too. I'm not complaining. Wei Ying doesn't complain about it either. He only comments how the married life suits me before lifting me off the floor and carrying me to our bedroom. When we do reach it. Sometimes, I stay against the wall for the whole ride.

My husband truly is impressive.

…

I really miss him.

Things have also been… better, between Uncle and I. He still comes to the cafe on the same day, same hour, still diligently sitting at the same spot. All the staff knows him now. I… don’t know how to feel about them chatting up with him now, leaving pastries on his table. He… I didn’t know that, but he is apparently also very fond of sweets. We share the same taste for Xue Yang’s work. Of all things, this is the least I expected to learn about him. I don’t think I’ve ever seen him enjoy anything sweet and frivolous before.

In a way… Seeing this side of him helped. We eat together once a month again, with Xichen. Conversations are sometimes stilted but… Wei Ying is right. I can see that he is trying. Just like I have been. Just like we all have.

I… I really have no reasons to complain at all, really. But my therapist said it is important that I do not keep feelings inside. Since I’ve been unable to tell Wei Ying so far, well…

Perhaps… I wrote Peru, but, in a way, I want him to read. Maybe I will tell him about this once it’s up on the blog. Maybe I will ask him if we can read it together, and talk.

That… seems reasonable enough. I think.

Wei Ying. Forgive me for not having told you before.

I love you.

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wangxiangiftexchange · 3 years

Text

Winter Solstice Gift for krysaniar

Happy holidays, @krysaniar! I wrote this for your "good uncle Qiren finally approves" prompt. I hope you enjoy!

This is set in CQL-verse, but some details from the novel or the other adaptations may have found their way in.

Read on AO3

*****

Approval Rating

They invited Lan Qiren to dinner at the Jingshi one month after Wei Wuxian returned to the Cloud Recesses.

He told himself that it would be just fine. He'd seen Lan Qiren already, after all - Wei Wuxian had gone to pay his respects on the day he arrived in a stilted but blissfully brief meeting in Lan Qiren's office, and they'd seen each other in passing a couple of times since then. Well… in passing, and at a distance. He got the feeling that both he and Lan Qiren were doing their absolute best to keep out of each other's way.

But a quiet dinner at home shouldn't be so bad. Lan Wangji would be at his side, and Lans didn't talk during meals anyway, so in all probability Lan Qiren would come and go without saying a word to Wei Wuxian.

"It's just dinner, right?" he said as he and Lan Wangji set the table. "It's not like your uncle is going to, I don't know, come over here and kick me out of the Cloud Recesses. He would've done that already, right? Right? Lan Zhan?!"

"He will not," Lan Wangji said, placidly arranging the covered dishes that had arrived from the kitchens, each with its own warming talisman stuck to the side. "And even if he made the attempt, I would not allow him to succeed."

He said it so easily that Wei Wuxian's breath caught. Lan Wangji had already given up so much for him, had stood against the wishes of his family and his sect for Wei Wuxian too many times in this lifetime and in his last one. He didn't care what the Lan elders thought of him, but he loved Lan Wangji too much to want to be the cause of continuous strife between him and his family. He knew what it was like when tension lingered and twisted until it festered in a family; he'd grown up in the Jiang household, after all. He didn't want to see it happen to the Lans.

It was why he'd suggested inviting Lan Qiren to dinner in the first place - a peace offering in the form of a nice meal featuring the blandest food that the Cloud Recesses kitchens had to offer, and with Wei Wuxian making a solemn promise to himself to be on his very best behavior. No amount of dinners would ever make Lan Qiren approve of him, but Wei Wuxian hoped that after a few somewhat acceptable experiences in each other's company the old man would tolerate his presence, if only for Lan Wangji's sake.

Now he put down a bowl and nudged it into place, unable to meet Lan Wangji's eyes. "I don't want to cause any more trouble here, Lan Zhan. Especially not between you and your family."

"It is no trouble to tell Uncle that Wei Ying is my soulmate," Lan Wangji said, undaunted. "That I love him and wish never to be parted from him again."

"Lan Zhan!" It was nothing that Wei Wuxian hadn't heard before - multiple times a day, even, since his return - but it made him flustered every single time. Already he could feel his face growing warm. "You can't just say things like that."

"I must," Lan Wangji replied, his voice grave. He was smiling though, a small soft thing that was entirely too much for Wei Wuxian's poor heart to handle. "Lying is forbidden."

So of course Wei Wuxian had to dump the rest of the bowls he was carrying - thankfully, all empty - onto the table with a clatter so that he could throw his arms around Lan Wangji and kiss him. That was the rule: when Lan Wangji was sweet, he had to be kissed. It wasn't as if Wei Wuxian made the rules.

(He absolutely made the rules).

So if they were pink-cheeked and had barely finished setting the table when Lan Qiren arrived for dinner, it wasn't his fault. Well, it was entirely his fault, but Lan Qiren already expected him to be a terrible influence at all times, so Wei Wuxian figured he was just living up to expectations. Judging by the way Lan Qiren frowned at him as he walked through the door, he had a feeling that he was right.

Throughout the meal he could tell that Lan Qiren was taking in all of the signs of Wei Wuxian's presence in the Jingshi. He watched as Lan Qiren's gaze lingered by the door, where Wei Wuxian's well-worn boots leaned against Lan Wangji's pristine white ones, before straying to the nearby sword stand where Suibian now sat alongside Bichen. He caught Lan Qiren looking at the table where Lan Wangji liked to play the guqin, a place that Chenqing now called home. He frowned at Lan Wangji's desk, which they had taken to sharing and which was now looking a little cluttered with the addition of Wei Wuxian's inkstone and haphazardly-arranged brushes, and frowned harder when he noticed the new work table in the corner that Lan Wangji had brought in for him, its surface covered in a jumble of open books and stacks of talisman paper. At least the jars of Emperor's Smile were securely hidden under the floorboards, but Wei Wuxian wouldn't be surprised if Lan Qiren could sniff them out, somehow.

Lan Qiren's brows drew closer together as he gazed around the room, and his expression grew stonier as the meal moved from one dish to the next. This was a mistake, Wei Wuxian thought dully, his stomach so bunched up with tension that he couldn't do more than pick at his food. Even the rice and vegetables covered in chili oil that Lan Wangji had asked the cooks to make especially for him weren't the least bit tempting.

Out of the corner of his eye he could see Lan Wangji darting frequent, concerned looks at him, and when Wei Wuxian finally turned towards him to try and smile in reassurance he was so jittery that he knocked over his tea. He righted the cup with an ungraceful amount of clattering and minimal mess, but the weight of the glare that Lan Qiren sent him from across the table did nothing to settle his nerves. Lan Wangji took his hand then, which did help to calm him, even when Lan Qiren's eyes immediately snapped to their joined hands.

"So, Wei Wuxian," he said once the meal was over and they had all put down their chopsticks. "You have returned from your travels."

"Uh. Yes?" He thought that had been obvious enough when he'd visited Lan Qiren weeks ago, not to mention the times he'd run into him since, but maybe he'd thought Wei Wuxian's presence in the Cloud Recesses was some kind of waking, recurring nightmare.

Well, Wei Wuxian reasoned, it wouldn't be the first time I've been thought of as a nightmare. It was not a pleasant reminder.

"And you are here to stay." It wasn't a question, and Lan Qiren looked like he already knew the answer, if the tightening of the skin around his eyes was anything to go by. He looked like he was suffering from a sudden and painful migraine.

"Yes," Wei Wuxian said, this time without any hesitation. Lan Wangji squeezed his fingers once, and Wei Wuxian squeezed back. He wouldn't leave Lan Wangji again.

Lan Qiren's eyes flicked once more between the work table in the corner, the cluttered desk, the swords and boots by the door. He stared at each object in turn, as if he were seeing them for the first time. Beside him Lan Wangji sat rigidly watching his uncle; Wei Wuxian could feel the coiled tension all along his arm, and rubbed his thumb against the back of Lan Wangji's hand, wishing he could take it away. After a moment some of the tension leached out, but to Wei Wuxian's well-trained eye Lan Wangji continued to look as anxious as he himself felt.

Finally Lan Qiren turned back to them - specifically, to Wei Wuxian. He looked like he'd swallowed something especially bitter. "Did you know that this was once Wangji's mother's home?" he said at last.

Wei Wuxian nodded. "Zewu-Jun told me some time ago."

He thought Lan Qiren might elaborate on that but he fell silent again, his gaze heavy and searching where it fell first on Wei Wuxian and then on Lan Wangji. At last he sighed heavily, as if he'd come to a decision.

"It was never a happy home," he said gruffly. "It is good to see signs of happiness within these walls at last."

For a long moment, Wei Wuxian was too stunned to react, but then Lan Qiren was rising and Wei Wuxian had to be half-dragged to his feet by Lan Wangji. He thought he must have misheard, but Lan Wangji was clutching his hand so tightly that he knew he'd understood Lan Qiren correctly, and that Lan Wangji was just as surprised as he was, though of course he didn't let it alter his expression. Unlike Wei Wuxian, who was left gaping like a fish until he belatedly remembered to close his mouth.

"Wangji, I expect you to bring Young Master Wei the next time I invite you to dinner," Lan Qiren said, as if casually inviting his most despised former student and the most hated and distrusted man in the cultivation world to dinner wasn't the most shocking thing he'd ever done.

"Yes, Uncle," Lan Wangji replied, inclining his head.

Lan Qiren nodded sharply, as if satisfied, before turning to Wei Wuxian. "And I expect to see you there, Young Master Wei." He sounded slightly pained, but also like he meant it. Besides, Lan Qiren was not in the habit of saying things that he did not mean.

"Thank you, Master Lan," Wei Wuxian managed to say as he and Lan Wangji bowed together. It might have been his imagination, but when he straightened up it seemed that Lan Qiren's expression had softened incrementally before he nodded once more and took his leave of them.

"Lan Zhan," Wei Wuxian said a few moments later, as they stood together in the doorway of the Jingshi watching as Lan Qiren made his way down the pebbled path. "Did that really just happen?"

"Mn."

"So I wasn't hallucinating when your uncle invited me to your family dinners? Because it almost sounded like he… approved of me staying here, didn't it?" He turned to Lan Wangji, eagerly searching his face. "Lan Zhan, are you sure this isn't a fever dream?"

Lan Wangji's eyes were glittering with barely concealed amusement. "Wei Ying. You are awake."

"But how can this be?" Wei Wuxian exclaimed. "He never wanted me here before. He's always wanted nothing more than to be rid of me. Why would he welcome me now, after - well, after everything?"

"I do not presume to know my uncle's mind," Lan Wangji said. "But I think, after everything that has happened, he knows more about you, and more about me as well. He may not understand everything between us, but I think he does accept it, or wishes to, now."

And that… was something Wei Wuxian would need more time to wrap his brain around. He suddenly felt exhausted, as if they'd just finished a particularly grueling nighthunt instead of a meal. He sighed and hooked his arm around Lan Wangji's waist, tugging him close.

"I never expected that to happen," he admitted eventually. "Lan Zhan, I had a lot of time to think during all those months I traveled. Too much time, maybe. And I never thought your uncle would accept it if I came back here. Sometimes it made me think… that maybe I shouldn't come back at all." He felt Lan Wangji tense against him but Wei Wuxian just hugged him tighter and plunged on. "But I wanted to come back, Lan Zhan, I really did. So then I hoped Lan Qiren would tolerate me eventually, or just ignore me. I don't need anyone else to want me around, I only need you. And I figured if I could just carve out a place by your side so that I could stay and never have to leave you again, that would be enough."

"Wei Ying, that place has always been there," Lan Wangji said, and brushed a kiss into his hair.

The late summer evening was warm, but there was a cool breeze sweeping down from the mountaintop. It ruffled Wei Wuxian's hair as he watched the sun sinking lower in the sky. After a moment he rested his head on Lan Wangji's shoulder and said, "Lan Zhan, I'm glad I'm home."

"So am I," Lan Wangji said as they continued to linger on the steps of their house, together.

#krysaniar #wangxiansolstice20 #*fic20 #*gifts20

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