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pla-teau · 3 years

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LOKI EPISODE FOUR : THE NEXUS EVENT

GIF CREDIT TO: @luke-skywalker SPOILERS AHEAD. YOU'VE BEEN WARNED!

SYLVIE | there's a lot to process in the short time we get of young sylvie. it didn't seem like she was doing anything that caused a nexus event. when we see her, she's simply playing with her toys on asgard. sylvie asks about what her crime was later on with renslayer but it's never clear cut as to what she did. the only thing we know is that she escaped from renslayer which is why she's so hell bent on capturing and pruning sylvie. i have a certain thought on this later.

WE SURVIVE | the words loki tells sylvie just when she’s given up and accepted that she’ll die on lamentis. that’s what makes loki a loki - yes, he fails over and over again but each and every time we’ve witnessed his ‘death’ he comes back or when things seem to possibly end for his story, loki still manages to survive.

LAMENTIS | based on the namesake of the episode, this is the nexus event that caused them to be found but what was it? personally, from watching the episode and keeping in mind that this is 2012!loki, i think that the nexus event was hope and acceptance between them. i think there’s genuine hope despite being stuck on a doomed planet about to become smaller flying rocks in space. in every apocalypse so far, we’ve seen that basically anticipating and accepting the end of the world doesn’t cause a breach in the timeline because what is there to hope for? it’s all going to be destroyed anyway no matter the little fake hope you have inside yourself telling you that everything is going to be alright. loki and sylvie up to this point haven’t had that kind of hope before ever in their lives. with the acceptance part, i think it's self-acceptance and acceptance of their roles in the universe. roll with me here, loki throughout the mcu has never accepted his fate or what's supposed to happen; he's always fighting it and trying to come out on top as a ruler of people whether it's earth, asgard and sakaar. he doesn't accept to not be a ruler or on the losing side of a battle against earth's mightiest heroes and at odds with the other marvel characters. he doesn't fully accept himself either because he didn't know he was adopted until at least one thousand years later and he couldn't accept that he wasn't destined for something other than a shadow or simply his title as the god of mischief. it made a lot more sense in my head tbh. a lot of people freaking out about this moment being loki falling in love with sylvie/himself but i don't think that's it. loki for once genuinely cares about someone else and i think it's platonic cause while i have little faith in the mouse house giving us more than confirmation that loki is bisexual, i don't think they'd make loki fall in love with himself.

LOKI'S TIME CELL | a nostalgic reveal we get is sif in this looped time cell plucked from loki's memory. apparently, he cut off a chunk of her hair because he thought it would be funny. in typical sif fashion, she proceeds to beat him up in retaliation as well of sharing some biting words. it's interesting how after a few loops and knees to the nuts, loki apologizes to sif about the prank and admits that he's afraid of being alone and acts narcissistic and like a pompous asshole if you will because of this fear. i think this is a bigger break through of his character than the one we saw in the first episode because he's admitting it to someone from his life that he highly respected but acted like a child to her to get her attention even if it was negative. i wish for more vulnerable loki moments because it continues to prove that loki isn't just the god of mischief, he can be more (as thor said in ragnarok).

MOBIUS VS LOKI | honestly, this whole interrogation scene screamed mobius being jealous of loki making pals with sylvie and i loved it. what i like is that mobius does air the sentiment that we all have in our heads after realizing that loki and sylvie did somehow click to create the nexus event. it's narcissism to the max. again, i think loki truly cares for sylvie in a platonic or even a familial sense since they both don't make connections too often with others (romantic or platonic).

HUNTER B-15 | i was wondering what happened with her after her run in with sylvie at the roxxcart supermarket. clearly, sylvie unlocked a memory within her subconscious as well and is starting to doubt herself. we don't see what memory of hers it was but it's enough to make her break protocol and go against the TVA later on in the episode. in conclusion, we have no choice but to stan this queen. also seems like she wasn't reset in that final battle so we'll hopefully see her in the next episode.

RAVONNA & MOBIUS | their friendship is put to the test in this episode. while being of a higher position than mobius, ravonna does seem to care deeply for mobius. she said so herself, she wants to protect mobius...but from the truth instead of the false danger about sylvie that she's filling his head with. ravonna clearly knows a lot more than she's letting on and that the TVA is an elaborate lie. i think she wants to protect mobius from the truth because she doesn't seem to have other close friendships like the one with him. it's also clear she cares for him when he's pruned (supposedly!) by another hunter. also, there's this other analyst/field agent mobius always brings up when we see them in her office so i wonder if it's someone who also knows about the grand lie the TVA is or is even some alternate variant of kang the conqueror who we know is supposed to be introduced in the third ant-man movie. it'd be interesting to see if kang is teased one way or another in the final two episodes.

DO YOU REALLY THINK YOU DESERVE TO BE ALONE? | the question mobius poses to loki when he starts to believe that they may be telling the truth. it's an interesting question to pose because we've been hearing it and have seen it throughout the mcu with loki. the time loop loki's stuck in, sif tells him that he'll always be alone. throughout the mcu, loki has been alone in his plans and mischief despite being surrounded by his family, his future enemies, and his people. loki has known nothing but being on his own, being his own island of chaos. as sylvie put it earlier, they're a product of the universe trying to break free, chaos. mobius knows that this nexus event has something to do with the two of them, for once, accepting that they're not alone or that they're not just a cosmic mistake, there's hope for them to be whatever they want and not just confined to their mischievous roles.

RAVONNA & SYLVIE | in the elevator, sylvie confronts ravonna about her crime as a child. it's something everyone wants to know, what does a young loki have to do to be charged and reset by the TVA? ravonna seems to know that this something she can leverage and torture sylvie with so she claims to not remember. sylvie says that it must've been important and severe enough to mess up the sacred timeline. maybe she wasn't supposed to know that she was adopted until later in her life like our loki. she's supposed to be causing trouble and be this terrible villain but what if with sylvie knowing her true parentage at such an early age, she learned to accept herself/identity and made peace with it. that's another thing that could've caused the nexus event between the two, they had found self-acceptance even at just the brink of death. maybe they're supposed to do so but later in their lives in their own timelines so that's why it's enough to destroy the TVA as mobius hinted at earlier. happy that sylvie decided to keep ravonna for information so i expect the next episode to have them in ravonna's office or still in the timekeeper chambers as ravonna tells us what is going on.

THE TIMEKEEPERS | when sylvie beheads the central timekeeper, we learn that they're mindless androids. it never ends, there's no throne to sit upon after killing them so it seems. it was all just a giant hoax but this further feeds into my personal theory that kang, one way or another, is behind all of this. what i find really interesting is how the other two timekeepers laugh when sylvie beheads one. whoever is behind controlling the fake androids, they have a way to see what is happening and communicate in real time with the TVA agents and variants. hopefully in the final two episodes we see what the hell is going on and how the TVA came to be and why.

LOKI POST CREDIT SCENE | so apparently, loki isn't reset or something of the sorts. he's actually sent to another world. i believe this is an alternate new york where we'll see president loki as you can see the remains of the old avengers tower. this makes me think about mobius' fate to be similar to loki's; possibly sent to either the same place or a similar world. we see three human new lokis here. from the credits, we have classic loki (richard e. grant), kid loki (jack veal), and boastful loki (deobia oparei). apparently there's also a crocodile!loki and i'm here for it. can't wait to see how our favorite variant gets out of it next week!

oh god, this was so rusty and unorganized but hope if whoever reads this can somewhat understand the points i'm trying to get across.

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ironxkid · 3 years

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why don't you like endgame or civil war

((hoo buddy, idk what brought this up but salt under the cut!! Like... a lot of salt - specifically regarding Endgame lmao

I’m gonna start off with CACW because it’s a short response lol

I don’t like it simply because I was done with the infighting between the Avengers. The found family crumbs we were given in Endgame was something I really wanted to see, and them just... ripping them apart frustrated me lol

honestly, the movie was... fine? Idk, I found it to be a lil slow for my taste (it felt like it just dragged on when I watched it in theaters), and I just don’t care for it in general ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Also, ngl, I’m really bummed that Captain America: Serpent Society was a joke announcement because that sounds dope as hell and I really wanted to see that before I realized it’d been a joke dfgjhdsfhj

but, yeah, literally just because CACW is specifically an infighting movie annoys me to no end so I just won’t watch it again dgsfjhsfdhj

now, Endgame?

fuck Endgame

I. have a lot of issues with it, all of which are major grievances throughout the fandom. I’m pissed they killed Natasha and didn’t even bother giving her a fucking funeral because, I quote from Joe Russo, “Well, Tony does not have another movie. Tony is done. And Natasha has another film. And Marvel Universe obviously does not have to move forward linearly anymore. But that character still has more screen time coming.” (see here) and that annoys the hell out of me. She’s getting another movie - great! So you killed one of the few characters doing her fucking best to keep everything together at the compound, the one who was taking charge, give her a big role, and then murk her and... give her nothing but a brief mention at the end. Like... what the fuck? Natasha deserved so much better than what she was given. Tony’s funeral could’ve (and, frankly, should’ve) been a funeral for him, Natasha, and Vision because god forbid we see anyone mourn Vision other than Wanda

(actually this post covers how Endgame fucked over the MCU women perfectly, though Wanda’s not mentioned :c )

plus... Tony’s not done lol - he’s still a massive figure in the films/shows despite RDJ not acting in them, so his character has left shockwaves that aren’t dying any time soon. Natasha... basically disappeared, and I believe she would’ve been dropped completely if it wasn’t for the fact she does have a film coming out soon. Which, frankly, seems awesome and all, but it’s a film that goes back to post-CACW pre-IW and... frankly doesn’t give me any reason to understand why that means she didn’t get a funeral. She’s not coming back in future movies/shows that are in present MCU timeline - her movie is set in the past. She could’ve gotten a decent sendoff

now, Clint’s arc as Ronin rubs me the wrong way. I know it’s a huge thing in the comics, and it’s not him taking a different mantle that I have an issue with. It’s the fact he, a white man, went around murdering people and got off scot-free. Yes, he was targeting genuinely bad people, but... to show that, they specifically singled out Mexican cartels and the yakuza (Japanese mafia, essentially) - so, in other words, the bad guys were people of color! I feel like I don’t need to explain how fucked up that is. And, to clarify, I love Clint! Clint is honestly one of my favorite characters, and the whole thing was just handled... poorly in the film

Tony’s arc genuinely hurts. This is a man who has suffered for years and has tried to make things right, and finally got a chance to settle down. He finally retired from the Avengers, finally settled down, and had a fucking life he could enjoy despite his ghosts, and yet... His arc ends with a message of “tortured soul finally gets rest by dying”. Because, y’know, it’s great seeing yet another long-suffering character only reaching peace through death, because god forbid they let characters heal! He could’ve still caused the second Snap, and he could’ve survived. He could’ve finally been able to step away for good and focus on his family, focus on recovering, and be truly happy. What’s so wrong with letting him stay alive so he can rest and be with his family? What’s so wrong with letting a long-suffering character finally find peace after one last bang?

plus it pisses me off that they’re now using him as a reasoning as to why bad things are still happening. Why is this person the bad guy? Because Tony Stark somehow may or may not have done something that hurt them! Even though most of that really stems from Howard or Obadiah. Tony just ends up getting the blame in their place. He’s just an easy target to use, much like the tesseract seems to be the go-to answer for why things go wrong. But this is a different train of thought

Steve’s ending pisses me off just as much as the next person lmao. You take a character who has acknowledged he no longer belongs in the past (which, funnily enough, was written by the Russos), aaaaaaand have him go back to the past while ignoring two important people in his life that were still right there. He got Bucky and Sam back, and he leaves them. His arc is ruined within a matter of minutes, and it paints a hella bad picture of him in the process. He goes back in time to stay with Peggy (which ultimately destroys her own arc, and the fact she’s a person outside of her relationship (or lack thereof) with him because, y’know, why have her be able to move on and be her own person?), and we’re supposed to believe he’s fine with everything he knows from the future? Fine with knowing Bucky’s trapped with HYDRA and is suffering as the Winter Soldier? Fine with knowing HYDRA has infested SHIELD from day one? Fine with knowing Howard and Maria are going to die? Fine with royally fucking up the timelines? We’re supposed to believe he sat back and did nothing with all of that? They could’ve had him still hand the shield over to Sam - they could’ve let Steve stay an Avenger without the mantle

also the fact the Russos said he didn’t recognize Red Skull when he returned to Vormir to return the soul stone? Like... what the fuck?? Not to mention he literally returns the stone to Vormir, which “soul for a soul”, and they didn’t bring Nat back that way??

and now onto Thor. Thor... holy fuck is this hitting something personal for me. Thor was ridden with guilt - he was furious with himself, hated himself, and blamed himself for failing to stop the Snap. He fell into a massive depression, and... was promptly danced around as laughing stock. Like, ��oh! look at Thor! he’s fat and drunk because he’s depressed haha!” - like fuck off. It’s not funny in any form. His suffering was made into a joke and it pisses me off because I suffer from depression. A lot of people suffer from depression. It’s not funny. It’s fucking terrifying at times. I wasted a shit ton of money on a stupid online sim game because it was a distraction - it gave me... god, I wouldn’t even say temporary happiness, but it gave me something to temporarily help, and I still hate myself for doing it. It was a poor decision on my part, and I wish I could change it. And, during that time, I was scared because I couldn’t see myself pulling out of it. I thought I was gonna feel that way forever. I called out of work multiple times because there were days I couldn’t stop crying (something I still feel horrible for doing), I couldn’t get myself to contact any of my friends for months, and it was all because the medication I was on at the time... stopped working. Thankfully, my depression doesn’t work in a way that makes me a danger to myself, so that wasn’t an issue, but it still fucking sucked. And to see a character that I could relate to on such a personal level treated as laughing stock fucking hurt. I’m not sharing this for sympathy - I’m sharing this because it Thor’s arc hit home and it’s literally the main reason why I will not watch Endgame again

this is more of a nitpick than anything else, but... I didn’t really care for Carol in it tbh? Which is unfortunately because Captain Marvel is one of my absolute favorite movies! And I’m well aware she was introduced in Endgame while CM was being drafted, but that in itself is annoying?? Because Carol was originally going to be introduced in AoU, but was cut because it wasn’t going to introduce her character properly. And yet they decide to introduce her character in a clusterfuck of a movie before her movie is in the final stages, and proceed to release her movie first and then give a complete different characterization in her following appearance

honestly I just wanna cover this now to clarify some things regarding Carter and her backstory: the only reason I keep Endgame as is is because it felt easier for me to do so for the purpose of bending canon for specific threads. I wanted to stay as true to the given plots as possible to help with fudging of both the movies and her background, and also because I didn’t want anyone to feel like I was trying to force my own headcanons onto them, y’know?

I’m just gonna plug this here because fuck it lol, but I did start a fix-it fic regarding Endgame that you can read here! I... probably won’t finish it tbh, and I haven’t gone over it in a hot minute so it might be riddled with errors ahah - plus I’m not sure about how I wrote the characters! I get nervous when writing canon characters because I feel like I’ll miss their characterization completely, which is actually why I,,, rarely rp canon characters dgfjhgsfdhj

also the image in the doc was created by @/archervale!!

#ooc #((I think I covered what I wanted and I hope it makes sense dgjhdfh #I'm pretty tired but I'm doing laundry so I figured I'd answer this while I wait #but yeah I don't care for CACW and I honest to god hate Endgame #the potential is there and it just never reached it))#((I'm not even gonna touch the Russos directing style #'hey guys we're gonna film a wedding sIKE IT'S A FUNERAL'#like?? MAJORLY different event fellas #also I'm literally going off what I remember from Endgame so I'm sure there's QUITE a bit I'm missing #but I'm not watching it to make a bigger salt post lol #I don't hate watch things because I would much rather watch something I'd enjoy #tbh I don't understand hate watching at all but that's a different conversation gsdfjhdfhj))#death mention tw #depression tw

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roselen-mylady · 4 years

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In Another Life

Bucky Barnes x reader ° part two

Summary: Waiting 88 years to find your soulmate? It was cruel. But it was a cruel fate Bucky would have to face whether he accepted it or not. Bucky was a tortured man all his life and he wasn't even granted the solace of having his soulmate at his side. All he had was the promise of one in another life.

They were separated by two different times.

But the pain in their lives were connected. Y/n had been alone ever since she could remember. All she could depend on was the soulmate that was destined to be at her side. Yet when the snap occured she lost him.

And Bucky never got to meet her.

A/n: For those who read this book before, I had to do some major redrafting so please be patient with me! Enjoy🤟

2014

“She’s a child, Fury.” The woman’s voice scolded. Y/n winced hating the fact that she was the source of conflict between the two. Fury wore his usual monotone and mildly pissed off expression as his eyes narrowed on the woman. Councilwoman Hawley’s face hardened as she turned to Y/n, “Do your parents know you're here?” She questioned, her voice loud and demanding.

Y/n's eyes drifted to Fury, uncertain and intimidated. Councilwoman was right, Y/n was just a child. But she had a mind that only Tony Stark himself could rival and that mind quickly realized that the only way she was going to stay at S.H.I.E.L.D was if she lied.

"Yes. They wanted to thank you for the opportunity S.H.I.E.L.D has given me." Y/n said cooly, trying to muster up enough confidence to fool the woman. Though she didn't seem convinced, Hawley was tired and after a few moments of staring down Y/n to see if she would relinquish her testimony, she sighed.

Councilwoman then turned to Fury, looking at him with less than pleased eyes. "I trust you'll handle the affairs then." Fury offered no acknowledgement in return and Y/n wondered if everyone in S.H.I.E.L.D was this cold. "Fury, I'm taking a chance here for you. The minute this proves to be more of a burden than a service, I'm ending it." The harshness of her tone shot through Y/n like a bullet but Fury appeared unphased giving her a little solace.

"You'll find the council will be grateful for what I'm doing here." Fury's proclamation seemed to grip the councilwoman, stopping her dead in her tracks as a conflicted expression fell over her features. She shot him a deadly glare however what rage bubbled up in her wasn't enough to compel her to reply and she continued on, leaving smothering tension in the air.

"What are you doing?" Y/n asked cautiously, turning to the man who had convinced her to leave her old life behind. The leather of his eyepatch squeaked in protest as his eyebrows furrowed, his eye landing on her small frame beside him.

"We are going to take the first step in protecting our world for the future. Welcome to the Next Generation Initiative." Y/n swallowed thickly to try and relieve the dryness of her throat as Fury moved toward the door.

"We start immediately." His voice called and she quickly followed after him, hoping to not agitate him further. "First let's see what you're capable of."

•••

The months that followed were hard, harder than she had naively expected. Fury was true to his word, providing her with a living space at S.H.I.E.L.D headquarters along with necessities such as food passes and clothes, though all of them sported the S.H.I.E.L.D logo.

At first it had been exciting to live a new life, the pride that came from becoming independent being enough to distract her for the first couple of weeks. But soon she found that being isolated from the rest of the agents wasn't just the normal separation from the pack that came with being new.

Communication with other agents was limited by her new guardian and her access around The Triskelion was even more restricted. It didn't take much for her to catch onto the fact that she was meant to be a secret instead of an agent.

This annoyed her but she hardly saw Fury which prevented her from questioning or even opposing the situation. And in the times she did see him she never got any answers. Fury pushed her constantly and while she knew she had signed up for it, she couldn't help but wonder if she'd made the right choice.

In order to stay at S.H.I.E.L.D she had to avoid all contact with her parents and adjusting to her new life without them was hard. The only person she had to trust with her well being was Fury and while he made sure she was taken care of, he wasn't exactly a parental figure. He was cold and abrasive and having conversations with him were frightening and offered very little support.

Her wish to be a hero convinced her that maybe it'd get better once she adjusted to the way things operated at S.H.I.E.L.D but it never did. Loneliness crept into her every second she was there and nothing she did seemed to help.

Doubt seeped into her heart and she started to question the cause she now stood for. Her parents had always rejected Fury's propositions toward making Y/n an agent but Y/n had never understood why until then. Fury was shrouded in a thick layer of mystery and the appeal it once had quickly faded away when she began to realize she had left everything behind for a promise of doing something great.

She felt like a naive and stupid child chasing the dream of being a superhero like so many children had and she longed for the guidance of her parents.

Training was even more miserable than her solitude. Fury wanted her to be ready for anything even though all of her missions so far were from the safety of a control room. He trained her himself, claiming that it was easier that way instead of taking other agents off of missions.

While she felt like it was a lie she accepted it and attended training everyday. And it wasn't long before she learned that his cold exterior was frozen all the way through.

"Agh!" Y/n cried out in frustration, forcing herself up from the ground. Fury almost smirked as she rushed forward, messily slamming her fist into his arms that had moved to block his face. A pained groan escaped her lips as she retracted her fist trying to conceal the red spotting through from under the wrap.

Another hand entered her view and she gave a defeated sigh as Fury took her bloodied knuckles. "I don't understand why I have to do this. You just want me for my brain anyways." Her irritation flooding off of her.

"It's so that nobody kills you. What good would your brain be if you're dead?" Fury said, offering no warmth or ease as he spoke. A frown tugged at her lips and she jerked her hand away, getting herself into stance.

It wasn't long before she was on her back again, her lungs struggling to replenish the air that had been knocked out of her. But Y/n found herself strangely motivated with each failure. Each time she slammed into the mat she was filled with an overwhelming amount of rage and whether it had been his plan all along she didn't know but she rose to her feet again with more strength than before.

With her fists drawn to her sides and her shoulders coming back in a brilliant pose of purpose, she stood before him anger radiating off of her. Her eyes narrowed on Fury with a determined shine and she advanced again, this time landing a hit to his ribs. While she wasn't too intimating in size, she easily calculated places to strike in which would leave the attacker most weakened and with her new found strategy, Fury fell.

Before she could even process her victory, a foreign sound echoed through the gym making her freeze. It was an eerie sound that shouldn't have sent a chill down her spine. A sound that heard from anyone else would've made her smile. Yet coming from the usually stoic man she couldn't help but recoil as if hearing it was the equivalent of being stuck.

Fury's body shook in laughter as he pushed himself up off his knees. "Motherfucker." He exclaimed, his eye landing on her with a glimpse of something she'd never seen from him before. Pride? Amusement? Either one brought a disbelieving and hesitant smile to her face as she quickly moved to help him up.

"I was wondering how many times it would take getting the crap beat out of you for you to finally put that brain of yours to use." Fury grunted, his hand coming to his ribs as he stood. Y/n's brows creased looking up at him in confusion.

"Wait, you're not mad?" She questioned, rattled by how entertained he was with her finally snapping at him. He moved to unwrap his fists looking up at her with a lifted brow.

"Am I supposed to be? Taking me down was your objective." He replied, glancing over his shoulder as she mimicked him, tugging the wrapping carefully as to avoid further hurting her split knuckles. She offered a shrug, allowing her prideful smirk to appear.

"Well, you just got taken down by a girl." Fury's gaze hardened on her cheeky grin and he shook his head, his amusement diminishing with her childish humor.

"Don't give me that bullshit. I've been training you for months, you taking me down once ain't nothing to be excited over." He grumbled, trying to dismiss her win.

Y/n's smile lingered for the rest of the day.

•••

"So what's the point of the 'Next Generation Initiative'? Aren't some of the Avengers, like, immortal?" Y/n questioned, poking at the keyboard in front of her. Fury's annoyed gaze fell on her for the fifth time in the past ten minutes and he sighed heavily pushing the keyboard away from her. She lifted her head off of her elbow and turned to face him as his chair swiveled toward her.

"Thor's practically immortal. But the rest aren't." Fury explained. Y/n reached out to grab the pen on the table only to have Fury slam his hand down on hers, forcibly stopping her. "Do you always have to mess with something?" He questioned, his tone sharp.

Y/n gave him a glare before retracting her hands and wedging them between her thighs. "What about Hulk? Not only did the gamma rays make him immortal, he can't die as either Bruce Banner or Hulk. And what about Captain America? I mean isn't he like 100?" She rambled.

Fury massaged his temples, reminding himself that he had to put up with her if he wanted his project to succeed. "96. And no he's not immortal." He corrected, ignoring Y/n's mockful expression as she rolled her eyes.

"Whatever. You didn't answer my question." She accused, shooting him an expectant gaze. He peered down at her, his brow lowering in an unamused scowl.

"Like the Avengers Initiative, Next Gen's purpose is to protect Earth from all threats, whether it be from other worlds or our own." Fury droned, his own statement seeming to bore him. He'd given the same speech to the council a million times before and he wasn't someone that cared to repeat himself. Yet in enthusiasm Y/n easily had enough for the both of them as she listened carefully to his every word, enjoying the fact that he was finally telling her something.

Sure she'd known that joining S.H.I.E.L.D especially with her skills would mean some kind of hero work. Fury had explained to her and her parents once before that with Y/n's brain she could help set the world forward into technical advances and with the right training become an agent of S.H.I.E.L.D. All she knew about S.H.I.E.L.D was what could be linked to the Avengers so she had automatically been hooked but her parents didn't share her eagerness.

Yet never did she imagine becoming a part of a project similar to the Avengers, a team she'd grown up idolizing. Suddenly any doubt she'd felt washed away with her fascination toward becoming a superhero. The idea of putting her skills toward something bigger than herself was what had drawn her away from her friends and family after all.

"So, the next generation of superheroes?" She assumed, unable to hide the thrilled smile that crossed her face. Fury nodded slowly, unsure whether he should be encouraging her so much. Her unwavering grin stuck as he turned back to the computer in front of him, tapping on the keys with a quick sweep of his hand.

"Then why don't the Avengers know about me?" She questioned suddenly.

"The council doesn't want anyone to know about you. At least not until this succeeds." He answered shortly, his concentration unbroken as he did so.

"When will that be? And why aren't there more of me? I mean aren't there more superhero kids you should be scouting?" Y/n began questioning again making him sigh heavily. He was beginning to regret recruiting her, finding her intuitive and adolescent need to question everything bothersome.

"You are what we call a trial basis. That's when-"

"I know what a trial basis is. I'm not stupid." Fury's eyes narrowed on the girl who'd interrupted him, nearly chuckling at the irony of what she'd said.

"Well, then stop acting like it." He retorted, drawing an unhappy pout from her. With arms crossed and her brow creased she glared at him but he ignored her turning back to the computer.

"I'm not acting stupid. Trust me, I'm sure I'd be a lot more help if I actually knew what was going on. This is the most I've gotten you to talk since I got here." She challenged, making sure not to provoke him. If she had there'd be no way to get answers out of him. "I'm just saying I left everything to be here and you can't even give me the time of day to explain why I'm really here. Why would you recruit me? I don't have powers, I just happen to be smart. Why would you pick me to start such an important project?"

The doubt she'd been feeling for months was beginning to flood back as she confessed to him. His persistence in wanting to recruit her at the start had convinced her enough that she was worthy of being a part of whatever he had planned but now that she knew what it was she was becoming painfully aware of how minuscule she was in comparison.

Fury kept his stare focused on the monitor before him, a sigh flushing through him and escaping out his nose as his hands stilled on the keyboard. He knew she was right. All the information he'd given her up to that point was the name of the project and the vague details he'd offered her parents.

He needed to give her a sign of good faith, something to earn a bit of her trust and acceptance in order to continue with the project.

Y/n watched with an intense gaze as he grabbed the mouse, directing the cursor toward another file. Everything in her was screaming to press for an answer but the contrast in his behavior kept her from doing so. Never had he gone silent before and she wondered if this was finally it. Was he finally going to reveal his true intentions?

After effortlessly bypassing several forms of security, a file was brought up, her own picture dragging her attention away from his silence. To the left of the photo was her name, birthdate, social security number and several other pieces of information like her parents' names and her education records.

Yet beside her name was another name, this one bubbled in quotations like an alias.

"Next Generation Stark?" She read aloud, the words rolling off her tongue like she was accusing him of a lie. Fury sat back in his chair, crossing his arms as he studied her baffled face and slack jaw. "Stark? Like Tony Stark? What the hell does that mean?" She demanded, all restraint on herself to remain polite out the window upon such an absurd comparison.

Fury pierced his lips gesturing to the computer, "Exactly what it says." He told her, his tone much more matter of fact than she felt was appropriate. Her head frantically shook as she tried to make him see how absolutely insane he sounded.

"I can't be. Tony Stark is my hero and a literal superhero. Not to mention a billionaire, genius-" She was cut short by Fury sitting forward, a smirk playing on his lips as he snidely remarked.

"I thought you were a genius. IQ of 224 and all." The sarcasm practically dripped from his words and Y/n's glare returned with more intensity than before.

"If that's the only similarity between us we're going to have a lot of problems." She pointed out earning a returning glare from Fury. The fact that he was arguing with a teenager was enough to make him question his life choices but the fact that she was calling him out on the outlandishness of his operation was enough to make his blood boil.

Though his pride was unwilling, he managed to release his irritation with a deep sigh. The entire program rested on his ability to train and create the next line of defense and though it frustrated him, the only 'defense' he had was Y/n.

"Look. I didn't recruit you because I wanted you to be Stark." He began, the tension that built in his shoulders and between them easing some as he spoke. "I recruited you because you have the potential to be someone just as great."

Y/n tried to fight the warmth that spread through her chest. It had been the kindest thing said to her in months and her need to please others simply jumped for joy at the praise.

Her once defensive posture slacked a bit as she fell back against her chair, sending him an irritated yet pleased look. "You're strangely motivational. Were you born like that or did you take lessons?" She questioned, her snarky manner returning with the lightness in the air.

"I know a guy." Fury shrugged before returning to his work. Y/n rolled her eyes, growing used to the way that everything he said had to hold a bit of secretiveness.

"If you say yourself, I will slap you regardless of who you are." She replied, lifting her legs up and placing her feet up onto the desk. Fury eyed them with a disdained look before pushing them off with one swift movement.

"You know that code name is all the more fitting with that attitude of yours." He countered, slightly entertained as her feet fell back to the floor forcing her to sit up right. Her expression remained annoyed unable to muster up the effort to glare at him once more.

"Tony Stark wishes he had an attitude like mine." A short scoff escaped Fury as Y/n crossed her arms, a smug smile tugging at her lips.

•••

The months that followed were easier with her new found purpose. As Fury had hoped, giving her more details on the project insured her compliance and even inspired her to take on more tasks and missions.

It was a few months after their discussion before he decided to untrust her with Project Insight. With the help of the 15 year old genius the work went smoother and a lot of the technical issues they faced either became minor inconveniences or vanished all together.

And with her new access to the labs containing some of the most advanced technology she spent almost all her free time tinkering away. Whenever Fury asked what it was she was devoting so much time and energy to, she immediately shut him down, a little embarrassed by the idea of telling him.

But it didn't stop him from checking surveillance in the lab. He had to confess it was a pretty good replica of the famous Iron Man though he'd never tell her. He was almost tempted to alert Stark that his precious suit wasn't as exclusive as he'd hoped.

Though it was slow at first and unwanted, Fury grew used to Y/n's presence and rather than a nuisance she became a normal figure in his life. He'd never admit it but whenever she wasn't at his side or where he'd left her a small bit of panic would set in. The instinct Maria pointed out to be paternal was often and annoyed him beyond belief but happened nonetheless.

The feeling seemed to be mutual because Y/n frequently came to him with anything and everything that happened during her day to which he reluctantly listened.

"Some of the other agents were talking about their countdowns. I can't wait to get mine." Y/n spoke, glancing up at Fury as he faintly listened from his desk. Not yet satisfied without his full attention, a mischievous smirk curved onto her features and she leaned on her palm to look at him. "Who's your soulmate?"

The hard stare he directed at her would've been enough to make a grown man quake but Y/n had become immune to such glares. "None of your business." He replied, his tone callous and indifferent. But Y/n noticed something, a fleeting glance to his left just before he spoke.

Her knowing smile riled through him and he huffed, moving aside his monitor to properly scowl at her. "Is it Maria? Nah she's too nice to be your soulmate. Or maybe it's one of those opposites attract types of situations?" Y/n unleashed every thought that buzzed through her mind and Fury wasn't sure which one to be most enraged by. So he remained silent, allowing her curiosity to brew.

Sensing his disinterest in answering her she sat up, moving to climb to her feet. "Well, I guess I'll just have to ask Ms. Hill." The sigh that filled the air was playful as if getting the answers she so wanted was a chore but Fury knew she had no issue in seeking out the woman in question.

"Leave her be. She's leading a covert mission right now." He cautioned. Y/n paused, sinking back into her chair as he folded his hands. "She's my soulmate, is that what you want to hear?" His confession sent a bit of joy through her from being right but she didn't speak her pride, instead allowing him to continue.

"When she joined S.H.I.E.L.D we found out we were soulmates but we never let it get in the way of our work." The explanation came easily but the troubled expression on his face was anything but. She almost felt a bit guilty for dragging the truth out of him.

"So you guys aren't together?" For the first time ever, she watched him shift uncomfortably. His action only seemed to urge her to press more, sensing him beginning to crack.

"We are a part of the percentage of the world with platonic soulmates." He described. She nodded slowly, not believing him for a second. She may have only been there for a little under a year but she had never seen such a profound bond between two people. A little envy from their relationship had established itself in her even if it was a 'platonic' relationship.

"Does she know that?"

Fury froze, his single eye widening ever so slightly. She'd struck a nerve.

"Y'know what? I'm done telling you shit." Fury snapped, turning away from her with an agitated growl. Y/n instantly sat forward, guilt grasping hold of her creased brow as she scrambled to apologize.

"Wait no, I'm sorry. I'm sorry." It came rushed but was heard making Fury haltingly glance back up at her. Her lip had been pulled back between her teeth as she chewed at it nervously. "My-my mom used to tell me that just because I know a lot doesn't mean I need to know everything. She usually keeps me in check but-..."

Her words dropped off into a deafening silence. Y/n tended to question everything and while her mother believed it to be some form of OCD her father argued it was just her paranoia. Whatever the case it led to a lot of frustration for those who were being interrogated and Y/n realized for the past year Fury had been the focus of that.

His hardened expression faltered and if one truly studied his expressions they would recognize a bit of remorse had surfaced to match her own.

"I really miss her. My dad, too." Y/n confessed, solemn and longing. "I wonder if they're mad at me. Maybe that's why they haven't tried to visit me."

An unfamiliar pang of guilt hit Fury's heart and his gaze fell onto the file in front of him. Anywhere to avoid looking at the child before him. How was he supposed to tell her that her parents had tried to see her? Tell her that each time he sent them away, insisting she was safe and that they should leave? Tell her how many letters and calls they'd received from them over the past year in hopes it might reach her.

How did he begin to make up for such a wrong yet necessary act?

"Maybe it's time you visited them." The statement left him before he even had a chance to properly analyze it. What was he thinking? Letting her leave would compromise the whole project.

But he couldn't help it. Something deep inside him needed to make up for all the secrets and lies and his unwanted connection to the girl only justified his actions.

"Really?" Fury nodded, yet again surprising the both of them.

"I'll have an agent take you tomorrow. But only under one circumstance." He told her, the seriousness he was known for returning. She nodded instantly ready to pay whatever price to see her family.

"You must come back to S.H.I.E.L.D."

A tense feeling she'd only felt upon her arrival rested in the air, easily thick enough to make her choke. But the excitement she felt outweighed any rational thought.

"I promise."

Part three

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nessamaurice · 4 years

Text

Simple, Ch. 11 (Loki x F!Reader)

Masterlist

Summary: Tony and the Avengers are in desperate need of something like a “babysitter” to have an eye on Loki and teach him “how to human”. He decided to stay on Midgard over the dungeons of Asgard as punishment for his deeds in New York. That’s where you swoop in. A simple receptionist at the Avengers compound. You have to share an apartment in the compound with Loki and damn, he’s a really tough nut. With your open and kind character it seems that you are slowly cracking his shell. But suddenly things are getting twists that will change your life and your relationships there irreversibly.

Story rating: M

Chapter trigger warnings: PTSD/flash back, trauma

Words: 2845

Your whole body hurt incredibly as you opened your eyes. Terrified you saw that you were back at that awful lab, dozens of needles sticking deeply in your skin. You couldn't focus correctly and thus didn't saw what was happening right in front of you. You felt electrodes getting glued on your head and started screaming to the top of your lungs as the burning pain pierced into your brain.

"Y/N! Y/N, wake up! It's just a dream, it's alright!"

Carefully being shaken you slipped back into reality. As you opened your eyes you saw a very concerned Loki looking down on you, loose black locks framing his face. In that moment you realized you were still screaming and shut up the next second. Loki looked up from you like to someone else and said something but you were too drowsy to follow the actions. Tears were rolling down your temples and you were trembling. It was just so cold... Half asleep, half awake you turned on your side and curled up so tightly that you were just a little human ball, clasping your legs and pulling them up to your chest so that you could burry half your face between your knees. Shaking you tried to fall asleep again but it just didn't work; you knew that it wouldn't within seconds. Quietly you started to cry without knowing why exactly. You gasped as you felt hands at your shins. Loki had brought a soft, woolen blanket and tugged it neatly under your legs so that your front was completely covered, except for a small gap for your face so you could breathe. But your back was still uncovered so you wanted to roll around and pull the blanket over your shoulders as the mattress behind you dipped a bit. An arm wrapped around you under the blanket and pulled you slightly backwards to the warm body laying down behind you. Loki curled up to your back and held you.

"Don't worry, I'm by your side. You will not slip from my grip, nothing can happen to you. I'm with you. You are not alone."

***

You slowly awakened and the first thing your brain recognized was a familiar scent. Fresh linen and leather. You opened your eyes and saw an open book, held by big hands that were clearly not yours. You felt a chin lightly touching the top of your head. Then slowly the memory came back and you recalled your nightmare and how you got comforted into sleep again. Heat was rushing to your cheeks, being aware of the full body contact behind you while Loki slowly changed pages, not realizing you were awake. You stiffened completely, not knowing how to react. Loki noticed the change in your muscles and whispered your name.

"Are you awake?"

You awkwardly cleared your throat. "Ahem, yes. I'm sorry. How long have I slept?"

"It is now 10 am the next morning, so you slept a good amount of hours. What did you apologize for?" He spoke with a low voice; you felt the vibration of its sound where his chest touched your back.

You still didn't know how to move, so you stayed right there, totally stiff. But you had to admit, being so close to him was extremely calming. "That you had to climb here in with me. I'm pretty sure you're not really the cuddle type." You laughed nervously.

"You may be right, this is not something I would declare common for me. But I know what to do to calm down a traumatized person having something like a panic attack. And I’ve been in far more uncomfortable situations."

You could hear him smiling with the last sentence which just made you blush even more. It was so long ago since you’ve been close to somebody. To anybody. Your muscles began to relax a bit and the fact he didn't move away reassured you a bit.

"What are you reading?" You suddenly wanted to know, surprising yourself.

Loki closed the book with the finger he had on its cover. You immediately threw your hand against your forehead in shame.

"Oh my god. Where did you get this from? Why are you even reading it?"

"Your uncle brought some of your books from your room and I got bored. Not that watching you sleep isn't entertaining, but at some point I wanted to get my thoughts elsewhere. So I grabbed the first book from the stack and the title sounded truly interesting."

"Wait... what?" Now you turned to face him, "Watching me sleep is entertaining?" You imagined yourself snoring and drooling onto his arm and wanted to sink into the earth right away.

Ignoring your comment he just went on, seriously looking at the book, "Star Wars - The Phantom Menace. How could I resist? And, to my own surprise, it is not as bad as I expected your human literature to be. It clearly has lots of flaws regarding numerous techniques of writing and storytelling, but for such a young civilisation it could have been worse."

"You only say that because you haven't seen the movie."

Loki pulled his arm from beneath your head and pushed himself up on it, looking down at you.

"There's a movie from this?"

You turned around, now lying on your back, with a surprised expression.

"You know what movies are?"

All he did was giving you pouty look before he elegantly swung off the bed.

"I better get you something to eat before you get too impudent."

You watched him as he strode out of the room. You caught yourself biting on your lower lip and directly scolded yourself. You explained it with the hunger you felt in your stomach and not with any other kind of... hunger. He wasn’t even your typical “type of prey”. But you had to admit you felt calmer when he was around. He had some kind of aura that made you feel… understood. Acknowledged. Safe. You stroked over a shaved part of your head to distract you. It already turned scrubby, except for the parts where the electrodes were stuck to your head, leaving bald circles. You looked down at your arms, at the slowly healing cuts. You could recall how you got each single one of them, you would never forget that. You felt the burning of every single wound, you could locate them in your mind. Not only your skin would stay scarred for the rest of your life, your mind would never be the same again, too. You were marked, inside and out. Always to be identified as a victim of Hydra. Not only a victim, but a tool as well. You hurt others just to keep yourself a little less unharmed. You penetrated their minds, their feelings and covered them with your own, forced them to feel differently than they naturally would. You looked down at your hands and suddenly got the intense urge to peel off the skin of your palms. Just that moment the glass door of the medical room you were in opened and Loki entered with a tablet loaded with the most different things for breakfast. You quickly rose your head and felt like you've been caught doing something bad. You watched his face turn from a relaxed smile into a severely concerned expression.

"By the Allfathers, what happened?"

He paced the room towards you with just a few steps, put the tablet on the table next to your bed and sat down in front of you, taking your face gently into his big hands. You weren't able to meet his eyes.

"My dear, look at me. Come on. Speak with me.", he softly encouraged you.

Hesitantly you looked into his face. He wiped with his thumb over your cheek, that was when you realized you were crying.

"I... I am a monster." You choked on your sobbing voice. "They made me a monster! Look at these-" You raised your palms a bit and looked down on them "Everyone I touch will be like an open book to me, they will not be able to choose what I’m allowed to know. And even worse… they will be forced to feel what I feel. Their souls will be plastered over with my own emotions." You suddenly looked up to Loki. "They made me a mental rapist for the rest of my life!" Your eyes got lost looking around the room as you realized what you just said. "Oh my god..." You covered your mouth with your hands as you started to sob uncontrollably. Loki pulled you to his chest and held you tight.

"I am so sorry this happened to you. I know it is too early for you to accept this, but just let me tell you, you are no monster. For sure not. I know what I am talking about, believe me. ... Do you want me to get your uncle here? He was forced to leave for a mission and I promised to look after you, but if you prefer his company I am sure he-"

"No, don't. Don't leave. Please." You grabbed his shirt and held on it for dear life. You didn't want to be alone again. As soon as he would leave your side you knew the horrific memories and thoughts would come back immediately. "I'm so sorry" you wept into his chest.

"It's okay. Of course I'm staying. Do not apologize my dear." He pressed you a bit closer to him.

Loki looked over to the door and was surprised to see his brother coming along the glass front and just as he wanted to open the glass door he saw the scene and stopped mid-movement, obviously confused. Loki slightly shook his head and pointed to the side, meaning him to leave. He conjured an illusion of himself a bit further away in the corridor to speak to his brother without disturbing you.

"Hello, brother."

"Loki? What is going on? Why are you holding this crying woman? Who is she? What did you do?" Thor walked out of view towards his brother's illusion.

Loki rolled his eyes before he answered "That is Y/N. I am not the reason she is in this abysmal condition. She got kidnapped and tortured by that Hydra cult over a week ago. We managed to save her, but it took us a few days. They injured her body and her soul severely. It appeared that she has empathic powers and Hydra forced them to the surface, now she is able to feel other's feelings and even to alter them only by touching them with her hands. It is hard for her to cope with that."

"By the Allfathers, that are awful news. Does she need any support from our home?"

"I don't think that would be good. Midgardian souls are different, we don't know how the effects would be on the long term."

"Yes, you are right." Thor stopped for a moment and looked Loki deeply in the eyes. "And you are comforting her?" He raised his eyebrows. "I never thought you are able of being that sensitive."

Loki sighed, "Well, brother, unlike you, obviously, I can be perfectly sensible if I want to. And again, unlike you, I know what she feels like right now. I have been in familiar situations.“ He paused talking to Thor as he said some comforting words to you. „I have to leave now, if you would excuse me."

"Of course, Loki. Let me tell you that I am as surprised as I am impressed. I am truly happy that you found a person that brings this part of you to the daylight. Farewell for now, brother." Thor wanted to leave, but stopped. “Mother would have been really proud of you.” Then he gave him a short smile before he walked through the illusion, causing it to disappear.

Now his attention was fully yours again, though the words of his brother echoed in his head. But he had no time to let that sink in, not now. He pulled away a bit and touched your chin to move it upwards, making you face him.

"Y/N, if you feel comfortable with that, I want you to know that you can tell me anything. If one day you feel like you want to talk about what happened to you in there, know that I will always be there listening. I want to help you heal. I wanted to offer that to you earlier, but I backed away."

You looked him dead in the eye, wiped over your wet face and asked him a question he was visibly surprised by.

"Why? Why do you want that? Not that I am not thankful for that, but at first you were different towards me. Cold, distant, skeptical. Now you are so sweet and caring. I just don't understand that. ...Why?" You grabbed a tissue to clean your face while you watched him writhe on the inside. But you really wanted to know that- needed to know that. You really wanted to trust him, but that question became more and more present in your subconscious. After all he did, after all that happened to him, it seemed somehow counterintuitive. You expected him to be hardened after all that, and that it would take so much time and patience to get to his core. You watched his face carefully. He went from confusion to reluctance, brushing along temper but finally settled with surrender. He closed his eyes and sighed, searching for the right words to start with. He turned to directly face you.

"I knew you were different from the first moment I saw you. There was no... contempt, no prejudice in you. Just curiosity and maybe a bit of fear", he smiled as he said that, "Every human I met by now looked at me with this certain look. This look that mirrors how I view myself and it's like a confirmation of all the evil in me. But you... And as you moved in it appeared that you really wanted to help me. And you were so... compassionate. It didn't took me long to define why I like to be around you. You met my reservedness not with impatience but with forbearance. You let me know that you actually wanted to be there with me, not like you were forced or that you had to endure my company for some other advantage or reward. It felt like you counted me getting a bit more open as your reward. You really wanted me to feel comfortable with you and offered me so many options to get closer without becoming pushy. You gave me time to think and sort out my words when we spoke; something I never did, I always have been very quick with my tongue but that led me nowhere. It is new for me to think about how my words would affect others truly. And you took everything I said serious. All that gives you such a wonderful aura, an inner glow I feel very attracted to. I didn't mean to get so close to you in such a short time, that's not my way to act. But when I saw you there, being captured and obviously tortured, I knew I have to overcome my restraint and pride and be there for you, just like you deserved it. And I knew pretty well what you would need once we got you back here. I have been in familiar situations so often in my life and I know exactly what I would have needed back then but no one was really there for me; noone who would have been able to understand. And I pushed away the very few ones that tried to. I don't want you to feel like I did and thus endanger your beautiful soul to harden. I cannot allow this to happen. Well, and that is why I am willing to give you all the comfort and intimacy you need to cope with this dreadful situation you are in. I hope my honesty will help you to trust me. And, if you allow, let me emphasize my candour." By saying that he slowly took your hand in his, your palm up, and covered it with his other hand. You audibly gasped as his emotions rushed through you. Every word he said appeared to be true, you could feel everything, he wanted you to feel it. Being confronted with so much genuineness almost overstrained you. You could do nothing but stare in his blue-green eyes. It felt like an eternity but you could not manage to let go of his hands or to look away. You noticed yourself moving towards him without knowing why. You simply wanted to be closer to him. You felt so vulnerable right now and you wanted to feel safe again. His gaze was concentrated on your eye that wasn’t patched up and suddenly his emotions changed into thrill, almost electrifying you. Both of you were a complete mess but it felt so right.

Taglist: @it-jinxed-us , @humbledarkness, @lunawitch19, @redryderdesigns

#loki #Loki Laufeyson #loki x reader #loki x female reader #loki fiction #slow burn #loki slow burn #marvel fan fiction #marvel #ptsd #ptsd mention #fanfic simple #nessa maurice

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