#yo maybe i should make an art tag for myself
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social media’s in a nutshell, but the people who actually use them.
Twitter: So did I you know your an awful person?
also twitter: Racism, racism, racism, sexism, your best friend talking about a dog they saw, sexism, sexism, homophobia, homophobia, homophobia, transphobia, NSFW art from a mutual, transphobia, transphobia, and then the worst take in the history of worst takes by some 13 year old or maybe it was actually 30 something you can’t tell.
YouTube: “why YouTube has become a capitalist hellhole for anyone who dares speak about anything not consumer friendly: A video essay” 4 hours and 50 minutes long, 40,895 views.
also YouTube: “me and my friend are mermaids btw here’s how to do the mermaid spell! Easy in 1 step!” 26 minutes long.
also also YouTube: “I COMMITED TAX FRAUD AND TRIED TO OUTRUN THE AUTHORITIES CHALLENGE 24 HOUR CHALLENGE PART 1 OF 279” 10 minutes long and has almost a billion views.
also also also YouTube: “beheading” 13 minutes long, with 1,600 views.
ALSO ALSO ALSO ALSO YouTube: “HUGGY WUGGY TOILET NAKED VORE?” 20 minutes long, 8 million views.
4chan: be me> sexless loser> finds amazing wonderful woman who loves me for me> she’s fat> keep her until someone else comes> me and her do exercise and eat better> she becomes 100/10> gets married> has kids> love of my life>
also 4chan: ROBOTS, /B/ WE MUST UNITE THIS FUCKER BLENDERED A CAT WE MUST KILL HIM>
THAT (insert string of slurs) WILL GET WHAT’S COMING TO HIM>
FOUND HIS ADDRESS AT 404 CATBLENDER MAN STREET>
AUTHORITIES CALLED I GOT THE RSPCA AT THE HOUSE LETS GO /B/ FUCK YEAH THIS IS A WIN FOR ALL THE ROBOTS LETS GO>
also also 4chan: *the most graphic picture you have ever seen that haunts your soul and your life you will never be the same* hey /b/ look what I found>
also also also 4chan: guys, *insert the most out of pocket slur filled green post you hav ever seen* and that’s why I think (insert minority) are degenerates>
tiktok: *video of hatsune miku dancing with the caption* it’s not okay to encourage ED$ instead be kind and respectful and not be f@tphobic and @blei$t
also TikTok: *a video plays before quickly cutting out replaced with a new one* YOU ARE MAKING PEOPLE UNALIVE THEMSELVES WITH THIS TIKTOK GET HELP TRANS PEOPLE AREN’T GŘOÖMËRS AND PDFILES YOU ARE AWFUL!
also also TikTok: *a video plays of a montage of red and black text* you never saw me as real, you never saw me. I’m going to k1ll myself soon, life is too hard my parents have taken away my ps5 and my phones I am making this on my friends phone. Good bye cruel world.
also also also TikTok: *dangerous things happen in quick succession* “so that’s how you do a deep clean of your home!”
comments : girly😭 NO you can’t use 🔥 on wooden floorboards 😰
comments: 💀💀💀 bro’s using chemical weapons to clean her sink💀💀💀
Comments: BLEACH IN YOUR FISHTANK? GIRL ARE YOU TRYING TO KILL YOUR BF’S DISCUS😬
comments: okay you did so many things wrong here and genuinely I’m surprised your are still alive-1
Cleangirly: no it was pretty safe idk what you mean🤷♀️
Comments:WHAT DO YOU MEAN SAFE? YOU SET A FIRE TO CLEAN THE FLOORBOARDS?-2
Also also also ALSO TikTok: *a video explaining why if you hate the color blue your a narcissist* yeah anyone who hates blue is a big red flag girlies
Tumblr: “guys penis” 1 million notes
also tumblr: *a long post explaining the intricacies of sexuality, sexism, the queer identity, toxic masculinity, and how colonialism and racism plays into it.* so yeah long post whoops.
reblog: *the most loaded toxic reblog you have ever seen* woman should all be killed.
reblog: *starts out making some form of sense then devolves* ALL MEN ARE RAPISTS AND SHOULD BE PUT TO DEATH NOW
reblog: *a story relating heavily to the post, which makes the original post better by its addition* so yeah some other re blogs are missing the point but you really put my experience into words thank you <3
reblog: *a picture of the tags filled with the weirdest take you have ever seen* Uhh who are you and can you leave tumblr? Thanks?
also also tumblr: gifly the gif, share gifly the gif because look at him *mindbogglingly fast images flash*
Quora: “why is the sky blue?”
answer 1: because god made it that way in his infinite wisdom
answer 2: because *long winded but concise explanation on how it works* I have a doctorate in this subject.
awnser 3: Long story short, it’s not blue it’s the ozone or something.
Facebook: “meemaw want to add you as a friend” *presses yes, anyone you have ever known tangentially appears in the Facebook friends page*
Also Facebook: “Gerald is my husband who I love”
Comments: that’s nice Geraldine, happy anniversary
Comments: *long winded conspiracy theory* that’s why the illegals want to rule the world and destroy us all
also also also Facebook: *random 5minute crafts video* TOP TEN LIFE HACKS FOR COOKING!
comments: oh what an amazing video! -Geraldine
comments: YOU CAN MAKE THE POPPED CORN WITH A COKA COLA CAN?
comments: I am showing this to my dear wife Geraldine. -Gerald
omegle: *video starts live-streaming and you see an older man’s cock* “…” “…” “you 13?” “…” *ends chat*
also Omegle: *you and a guy talk for ages* that was awesome here’s my socials! See you soon friend!
reddit: “why the Reddit mods are power hungry” *it is a screenshot of a screenshot talking about mod abuse.* “REDDIT WANTS US SILENT WE MUST FIGHT!” *deleted post*
also Reddit: “top ten anime wifus in (PEDO BAIT SHOW) and why I’d fuck them”
also also Reddit: “how do you fix a bolted screw valve on a pressure cooker…”
Vine: *5 seconds of comedy*
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shmupdate 🧦
very long, hastily written, but a look is appreciated
greetings- to those who are somehow still lingering around this account or came up upon it during my desolate time off. it is sock. or sockori.... or raven... my name is actually raven (they/it, 20 yo disabled autistic goth nerd whatever the fuck). howdy
im still on the 'undetermined hiatus' so to speak that i described in my leaving post, but i will say right now that i have no near future plans on returning. in the tags on my newest art, i mentioned my naruto hyperfixation (of like. 6 years i think) finally died out and other interests have long since captured my autism full force. for me personally, when i lose a special interest like this so drastically, i just full on abandon it for as long as it stands. however, this isn't the only thing that made me leave, and i think its time for me to be completely honest & get some weight off my chest.
i made this account around the cusp of turning 14, during a god awful pubescent era where i acted as any other edgy teen does and i'd much rather like to forget these days. what im saying is i was not in the right mindset at all when i exposed myself that much & got the attention that i did. a dismayingly giant coping mechanism i had in my youth was being online 24/7 because i had no one in reality to lean on let alone feel comfortable talking to about anything that was happening at that time. this of course leads to what the kids call these days being 'chronically online'- desperate for some sort of assurance or interaction, i crawled into internet spaces i shouldn't have been for an also incredibly unsupervised child using the dangerous worldwide web.
yes, naruto was apart of this, as well as other interests i had at the time. throughout my journey i met unsavory people, suffered abhorrent things like stalking & gr---ming, saw things i didn't deserve to see, did a bunch of stupid shit an angsty teen does, i believe you understand the rest. i am in no way proud or gleeful about any of these years and have some very sour memories tied to fandom as a whole, not just naruto, and i really don't like reflecting on them. so, unfortunately, this account sorta became a bitter reminder of what i went through as i grew up & finally matured and sought to recover. that's the first part of why my activity fizzled away & i began backing off from internet use entirely.
the second part is sasori. yes, the puppet man. sorta the sole reason i made sockori in the first place. as the sasori enjoyers following / who followed know, this puppeteer has an incredibly unhealthy philosophy and worldview (if the carefully preserved corpses turned puppets and complete lack of humanity didn't give that away), and is safe to say entirely detached from his reality to a nhilistic and suicidal extent. when you autistically fixate on a character like how i did, sometimes this character's rhetoric can seep into your own without you even realizing; Especially when you're a spot where you are incredibly vulnerable and psychologically unstable, as i was in my youth. now i didn't go around believing you should uhhh murder people and preserve them Obviously- actually i began to believe that perhaps there was some peace in obtaining a robotic existence. maybe emotions were useless, perhaps nothing truly mattered, my life didn't matter, art in eternal in the sense that death is scary and i should avoid it at all costs, why make connections with people when they just die or leave, cant trust people at all to help me, xyz. anything in these lines. without going too uncomfortably deep for everyone's sake and mine, it fucked me up severely. i suppose in a way it relates to how he uses poison. his toxins got right into my nervous system, but the pain i felt from those toxins was the only thing i could really rely on at the time, so i just let it happen. such is the depressing case of coping in the worst spot of your life.
cant help but feel incredibly strange telling the tale, as it sounds so obscure doesn't it, but media can truly get inside your psyche like this if a consumer isn't careful. not sure if anyone else out there fell into a similar headspace dealing with interests in this nature- but regardless. what i mean to say is, sasori is now a kind of content i cant consume anymore. i am in a way better place now, have grown wise and balanced with careful recovery and patience, and of course have grown out of whatever teenage nonsense i was on. sasori, who was once the only thing my autistic traumatized ass could lean on, is now an extremely dark shadow on my life. yes i see this homicidal anime puppet dude from a fantasy ninja anime and get psychological distress. he's somewhat of an aggressor or abuser to me now, which is tragic. ive been actively avoiding everything even vaguely relating to him, be it the art of puppetry, anime clips, robotic/sci-fi genre, whatnot cause i just. man. i dont wanna go back there. shouldn't have to explain why at this point. ptsd at its finest
feel like ive been honest enough. sasori enjoyers out there who were just around to enjoy what i made, anyone i happened to be good friends with during my time on this account, this doesn't have anything to do with you guys. i appreciate everyone dearly for supporting me and cheering me on in whatever i made despite all the hell & anguish that was taking place beyond the keyboard. im just glad that i managed to find some way out and get the help i need before i gave up & took my own life, which depressingly i almost did a handful of times. carrying the horrors is an exhausting burden to bare sometimes, but that does not mean i can't look back on the good parts of the era too. and seeing you all happy and sharing my memes or whatever made me ecstatic and at least a little bit hopeful for the future. fortunately that little spark of hope grew into something more. thanks for being a light in a very, very dark room.
that being said, i leave you all with this: i am not dead, just greatly changed, a new person at last freed from apathy & exhaustion, with now enough room to finally grow. the memories will never truly fade & my disabilities will be a part of me until i pass on, but at least now i can manage them a lot better than ever before, surrounded by way better people who love me for who i am. i will hang on the best i can. i wish for you to do the same. find freedom and happiness wherever you are. take care. happy trails
trans rights. i eat fascist souls. free palestine
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20 questions
i was tagged by several people (thank you @niemalsetwas, @babblish, and @creativenicocorner), who in doing so have conveniently eliminated many of the people i would have thought to tag myself, haha. let's see... @falling-hand-in-unlovable-hand, @eri-223, @sidhewrites, if you like? plus anyone else who would like to steal.
1.) how many works do you have on ao3?
41 posted; 0 drafts.
2.) what's your total ao3 word count?
189,246. (?!)
3.) what fandoms do you write for?
oh, ask not for whom the hyperfixation tolls. (toa, obviously.) i do have a few fics i've deleted, though, in fandoms i don't currently have any fics for. maybe i should republish them on anon? 🤔
4.) what are your top 5 fics by kudos?
in my sleep i dreamed of waking
all that dazzling dawn has put asunder
it's a lovely day in stricklake month
misc. trollhunters prompts
sophisticated/manipulated
oh...they're (almost) all str/icklake, lol. and so old! is it strange that i feel so disaffected by this? well, probably not. a good lesson in kudos being merely a measurement of "how many times people pushed the kudos button," i suppose.
5.) do you respond to comments? why or why not?
i try to! part of my general attitude of "fandom is a conversation." i worry i don't always have all the spoons to make my replies what i feel they "should" be, but i do always want to convey my gratitude for people taking the time to leave a comment at all.
6.) what's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?
oh, that's easy: notstantinoplefic! unfortunately it's not yet approached something even remotely publishable, so that probably means very little. ¯\_( ᐛ )_/¯
other than that...probably the first or second parts of minor arcana. probably the first, more than the second. skrael's chapter ends on something awful but he's about to enjoy a good bit of (however fleeting) catharis; bellroc however doesn't get any closure for what happens in their chapter until they meet nari, a couple centuries later.
7.) what's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?
...do i have a fic that doesn't have an ultimately happy ending? 😂 oh, i am too soft. even the horrible vicious ancient wizard gods tend to go out with full stomachs, warm beds, and someone on their side.
8.) do you get hate on fics?
i'll not lie: i have glimpsed the occasional drama from over my meticulously-curated rose hedge. but most of it seems to be from children, and for all my various weaknesses, i think i can survive being vagueblogged by people who aren't old enough to vote. if not: my anon is on ╮ (. ❛ ᴗ ❛.) ╭
9.) do you write smut? if so, what kind?
i am ATTEMPTING. most of the smut i've ever read has left me generally ??? baffled, glazing over, skipping through (without animus) to the next part. again, this is not the fault of the author; it's true even of things i can tell objectively are well-written, titillating, otherwise universally acclaimed. but i enjoy thinking about character exercises, and i am not completely untemptable, so this year i've been trying to make some progress on my longtime agenda of "get the horrible bird wizard railed."
...none of which is terribly apparent given that none of it is published, ofc! but. hopefully. that may change in the not-too-distant future.
10.) do you write crossovers? what's the craziest one you've written?
tbh i am very picky about crossovers. but i must admit... skraelroc necro/cav au... a man is Considering
11.) have you ever had a fic stolen?
i've had people repost my art, which (as someone who does not think of himself as an even remotely skilled artist) was very surprising. but never fic.
12.) have you ever had a fic translated?
none that i know of.
13.) have you ever co-written a fic before?
the closest i've ever come is probably blue wizard boyfriends, which is inspired by some rp shenanigans between a friend and me. but even so, my take on douxie in that series has diverged quite a bit from hers! so it doesn't really feel like "cowriting."
14.) what's your all-time favorite ship?
as your #1 friendly neighborhood degenerate not-even-actually-incest pornographer, i simply must say: nothing quite hits like a ship you literally invented
15.) what's a wip you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?
to be completely honest, i do still feel the occasional pang of nostalgia for my gr/avity f/4lls fic. i had a lot of world built for it, a whole sequence/interaction arc for the characters (and not just the couple). unfortunately, even this many years later—even if i never got directly harassed—the nastiness of that fandom has still left a very strong impression on me. it was the first time i think i ever saw a/ntis in action, and i don't think i have any desire to pick that story up again.
16.) what are your writing strengths?
...worldbuilding? present tense, apparently. ��� i've also been told i have a knack for—ah, how did he put it. understated emotional closeup shots? i think of such kind comments often, haha.
17.) what are your writing weaknesses?
discipline. not using too many semicolons. recently: not using paired adjectives. mainstream fanon. not going back over published work and finding a billion small things to fix (though i'm getting better at this).
18.) thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?
...mainly: "you're lucky i didn't make myself learn actual ancient egyptian for all those dumb little skraelroc shmoop fics i keep setting in ancient egypt"
otherwise? i err on the side of under-doing it, but i love doing this. i love seeing this in fic, even if it's not a language i know. it's like a little easter egg!!
19.) first fandom you wrote for?
a very old anime fandom which i will not be revealing on main. probably twenty years ago, at this point. almost certainly on ff.net.
20.) favorite fic you've ever written?
oh, i'm not sorry. i am thinking of minor arcana so often these days, but i really am pretty proud of it. even now, more than a year later! once i have the time to go through and fine-tune everything, i'm going to bind it. it's a very weird fic, probably, but one that is nevertheless (or perhaps because of this?) very dear to my heart.
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⋆˖⁺☽ overture ☾⁺˖⋆
🧿 Greetings and Salutations 🧿
My name is Darya, I'm a 26 yo woc who lives on the moon, and is too anxious for her own good. I have a little about me section if you're feeling snoopy about silly ol' me and some of my interests 🌷 🌧️ 🍋 🎨 🎶
[pssst, I have an ao3 as well right here 👀]
Update: @fellowship-of-sleep-reads is a book club created by and for Sleep Token fans. Come say hi and join the conversation!
Feel free to interact with me whenever - I am terrible at replying to dms but I'm trying to be more mindful about that. You're always welcome to send me an ask, tag in me in stuff, or whatever else! (anons are 100% chill)
☽ Tags, Content, and Others ☾
☽ Alright, what's all this then?
I blog mostly about music/literature/art/photography and whatever funny haha's peak my interest. As of June 2023, about 50% of my content is now Sleep Token related, so there's that. I keep it tagged in case anyone wants to block.
-> here's a good Sleep Token intro post if you're curious
(I'm always happy to talk about them, my brain is all mushy because of the creatures 🥺)
Expect to see a healthy dose of poetry, Pride and Prejudice, and BTS here. Also Dracula / Dracula Daily 🧛♂️ I am not capable of being a passive consumer of things.
[DISCLAIMER: I do not consent to have my art - whether a painting, writing, or anything else - reposted to other sites, reused, or otherwise reproduced in any way (unless explicitly stated). If you wish to, please reach out to me first, either through my ask box or through my dms.]
☽ Tags?
I try to tag everything accordingly (sometimes i forgor), and my most used tags should be on the search function.
(note: the search system is being a jerk so if you want to look for something, just use the tags on this post)
To make things easier:
#darya is unhinged <- for my writing, blurbs, ST lore analysis, etc
#darya talks to herself <- for personal posts and rants
#darya does art <- for my art posts
#darya answers <- for asks and such
#special pocket post <- for some of my favourite things
#sleep token <- for anything related to our beloved creechurs
#sleep token lore <- for all lore-related posts, mine or otherwise
#create;release <- for my Sleep Token illustration project, Create ; Release
All other content should be self-explanatory and tagged normally, but I'll update this if/when needed.
(jan. 2024 update)
#darya goes to the aquarium <- if you wanna see my slightly blurry content of my recent oceanarium visit; there are some cute, calming videos of fishies 🪼🦈🐟🪸
☽ Anything you won't post?
I don't usually post anything nsfw - however I am an adult, so that is up to my discretion. I'll tag visually explicit stuff when necessary but navigate at your own risk.
I rarely do any tw/cw so if there is anything that should be (or you need) tagged just let me know, and I'll happily tag it!
I refrain from posting political/current world events content, simply because I stopped engaging with it in here. There are plenty of good, insightful blogs around with Good Verified Sources and commentary - I am not one of them. That being said, I won't tolerate any type of hate discourse or disrespect of any kind. I myself am a poc and a Christian (although I very rarely post/engage with content here).
I respect and welcome any and all kinds of beliefs, ethnicities, etc. This is a LGBTQIA+ friendly blog. Everyone is welcomed and safe here. Please unfollow if any of this makes you uncomfortable (and maybe take a little time to self reflect).
☽ Is that all?
That is all. Here is a reminder to drink some water, stretch your back, and give your eyes a rest. Remember, you are loved and worthy of all good things. It's okay if you're struggling - I am holding your hand and sending you moonlit kisses. 💙🫂🌜
｡ {\_/}⊹
༘ ᗢ( • • )ᗢ˚
ᗢ />🌷 ᗢ₊˚ here's a pretty flower for you~
#pinned post#look at her being so organized#darya talks to herself#darya is unhinged#darya does art#darya's mixtape#darya answers#special pocket post#sleep token#sleep token lore#create;release#darya goes to the aquarium#fellowship of sleep#love is a tangerine#posts i would send vessel if he was real
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Two Man Team - Chapter 10
Summary: This is the story of two struggling friends who after many trials and tribulations find their way back to each other and build the life they've always dreamed of.
Or how Phil changed his life by talking to random strangers on the internet.
Rating: E
Tags/warnings: Friends to lovers, Friends with benefits, mental health issues (mainly anxiety), Slow burn, Dan is a psych student. Canon divergence (the timeline is altered and some things never happened), Slutty Phil, Angst with a happy ending. The fic spans many years.
Author's Note: Written for the OSPBB 2023 @oldschoolpbb. Thank you @effingmeteors for being my life saviour and beta as usual and to my artist Lin @anironsidh.
Edits and the art will be added at some point, we are busy bees.
POSTING EVERY DAY UNTIL IT'S COMPLETED.
Total Word Count: 75k ish
Read on Ao3
CHAPTER 10: Wild Horses
The following morning, Noah and Mark made him breakfast and hugged him before leaving for work. Phil smiled at the thought that Mark and Noah sometimes acted like his stand-in parents; he was glad that they never made him feel like a third wheel and that Noah was so wonderful, just accepting their friendship and joining instead of trying to break them apart.
Taking a deep breath, Phil thought about the day ahead. He was not going to check his phone for any sign of Dan because he knew that it would probably take a few days for him to reach out. If he put it into his head that today was the day Dan would text, he would only get anxious. Instead, he went for a morning walk after breakfast, bought lunch and came back home to work on his next video. He considered it for a moment. If Dan really wanted to go on with the project he’d mentioned, it would bring his own sexuality into question, so why not take the opportunity to make a coming out video of his own?
To be fair, Phil wasn’t really in the closet, everyone knew. Or most people knew anyway, he just didn’t announce it. Maybe it was time for a change.
He grabbed a notebook and started the script titled “Coming Out To You.” It was a bit sassy but it was the truth; Phil wasn’t coming out in general, this was just for his viewers, for them to know a bit more about him, to feel loved and accepted, and to open the door to that conversation. This would come with the added bonus of finally being able to make gay jokes on his channel and it would also probably cost him some sponsors, but if he couldn’t afford to come out with so many subscribers and after 10 years on the platform, what was the point?
He made this script his lifeline, a mental escape from his reality and the imminent wrecking ball to his mental stability that Dan’s text could potentially be. He paused briefly to consider what he would do if Dan backed out of his own project or on wanting to name Phil. He decided that he had made himself to focus on the video so much that he was going to work on it anyway.
It took 3 more days for Dan to contact him. By Sunday, Phil was starting to worry, despite his attempt to avoid thinking about Dan. Maybe the problem was that the script was ready and he had even chosen an outfit to film in. Luckily, just as he was finishing his lunch, Dan texted through Messenger.
“Hey, can we talk?”
“Alright,” Phil replied.
“Really? Just like that?”
“That’s what we agreed on when we last spoke and my friends think that I should talk to you.”
“Mark?” Dan asked and Phil could hear the jealous tone even in written form.
Phil rolled his eyes. “Partially. His boyfriend said that we should talk. Mark didn’t comment on it but said that he would break your legs if you hurt me.”
“I see,” Dan replied. “Where would you like to meet?”
“You can come to my flat.”
“Does Mark still live with you? I need my legs.”
“Planning on hurting me?”
“Technically I already have so I am looking out for myself.”
“I like how you used technically right there.”
“I feel like if we continue this conversation in writing it will not end well for me, so please give me your address and let me know when I can come over.”
Phil sent his address and paused for a moment. “You can come over today, any time that works for you.”
“Thank you. I will take a shower and take a taxi.”
Phil reacted to the message with crazy eyes.
“Don’t react me,” Dan said, making him laugh.
An hour and a half later, the doorbell rang and Phil checked himself in the mirror before opening the door. “Hi,” he said, sounding almost shy.
Dan smiled at him, probably relieved to see that Phil was not immediately angry at him. “Hi,” he said and handed him a Caramel Macchiato from Starbucks.
Phil looked at his cup and thought back to the endless hours they had shared at Starbucks back in Manchester. “Thank you.”
“I just figured this would make it so you don’t have to keep making us drinks that we forget to drink,” Dan said and stepped inside, looking around already. “This is nice.”
Phil resisted the urge to remind Dan that this was supposed to be their shared flat. He had never sent Dan the link to the ad because he was already distant towards him. “Yeah.”
“I’m glad that YouTube has been good to you.”
He smiled and didn’t comment.
“What?” Dan asked.
“Nothing.”
Dan raised one eyebrow at him. “Really, Lester?”
Phil sighed. “I moved into this apartment in 2013 to take the job at the BBC and paid one year of rent upfront in cash with my savings.”
“Oh, this is the one… I didn’t know. You don’t really show your flat a lot in videos.”
Phil’s lips formed a tiny O as he caught onto that tidbit of information. “So you still watch my videos.”
Dan blushed. “I’ve always been your fan,” he said, and for once, he wasn’t being sarcastic or trying to sound edgy. “Are we going to sit somewhere or are we just going to stand here by the door?”
Phil rolled his eyes. “Come on. Let’s sit on the sofa and drink these before they go cold.” He took a few sips as they walked for good measure. Phil let Dan sit and joined him on the sofa, taking a spot near him, but leaning back against the armrest to avoid any awkward touching. Besides, from this spot, he could really look at Dan without it being so obvious. His eyes followed the outline of Dan’s nose, his dry lips, his rosy patch and all the way down to his black sequin jacket that was catching the afternoon sun and projecting rainbows around the room.
“So…” Dan said.
Phil stayed silent and just gave him a look, indicating that he should start.
Dan swallowed and gave a small nod. “I gave your analysis of everything a lot of thought and I couldn’t untangle it alone, so I called my therapist and booked an emergency session, which turned into almost 3 and then I continued on my own,” he said. “I believe you were right. I thought that I had everything fairly processed so this caught me off guard. I was so mad at myself for not seeing it sooner.”
“I’m glad that you agree.”
“This whole situation, meeting you in a random street in London… it brought so many memories and, honestly, so many issues back.” He took a sip of his drink and continued, his eyes looking around the room, avoiding Phil’s eyes. “I thought that I had it together and I liked the life I was living, but then I saw you and - I’m not over you.” He finally looked into Phil’s eyes with an openness that made Phil shiver. “It was so easy to see when I was not focusing on helping other people, when you were no longer just part of my past, so I had a mental breakdown.”
Phil tried not to smile but failed miserably. Even if it amounted to nothing, and even though he might not have wanted to admit it to himself the first time he heard it, he was happy to know that Dan still had feelings for him. It almost sounded too good to be true.
“Aren’t you going to say anything?” Dan asked, frowning.
“I am saying many things - inside my head.” He sipped on his coffee and set it back on the coffee table.
“Care to share with the class?”
“Fine,” Phil huffed. “I thought that I was over you because I’ve tried my best to not even think about you, but Noah said that it’s obvious that I have not moved on and other things I am not going to repeat. And I realised that he’s right.” He paused, doubting on whether he should really say it but seeing Dan in front of him, nearly holding his breath, made him take that leap of faith. “I had managed to convince myself that everything was fine, but no. Happy?”
“Very,” Dan said with a gorgeous smile. “Do you think we can try again? I would like to see where this goes and if it doesn’t work out, I would still like to stay friends.” He reached out once again, just like he had a few days ago, waiting for Phil’s reaction.
Phil looked at him, hesitating briefly and nodded, taking Dan’s hand and lacing their fingers together before setting their joined hands on his leg. Then, a thought crossed his mind. “What about Sebastian?” he asked. “Isn’t he your boyfriend?”
“Not anymore. I thought I was happy with him, but there was never a chance that I would choose him over you and he knew that even before me,” Dan said, chewing on his lip for a moment. “He actually broke up with me before I could even think about it.”
“Oh,” Phil said, trying to not sound happy about it.
“He was right to break up with me,” Dan said, downing the rest of his coffee and setting the cup down. “It’s ok. When I came home from the play and he had moved out I felt relief. That’s a horrible thing to say, Phil. But it’s the truth.”
“How long had you been together?”
“Almost a year.”
“Never made it that long with anyone,” Phil blurted out before he could stop himself.
“Really?” Dan frowned.
“They weren’t you,” Phil said, watching Dan’s gleeful smile appear at the comment. “I stopped going out, I stopped hooking up with random guys. At this point, I could almost qualify as a virgin again.”
Dan smirked and his eyes darkened. “I doubt that.”
Phil knew that look well. “Behave,” he said, squeezing Dan’s hand. “We can’t just pick up where we left off. Things don’t work that way. Last time we rushed into it and it got complicated.”
“That’s true but -” Dan pouted.
“No buts. Let’s just hang out and see how we feel about it. See where it goes, if it goes anywhere.”
“Alright,” Dan said, but the air around them was still charged. “Let’s play some games.”
Phil smiled and let out a sigh of relief, he was hanging onto the will to resist Dan’s lustful eyes from a thread. He wanted it too, but not just for a day. He wasn’t going to repeat that mistake. There was still a chance that Dan would freak out again. He reluctantly let go of Dan’s hand. “Mario Kart?”
“Always,” Dan smiled.
Phil turned the console on and reached for his coffee, downing the last third of it.
“You still haven’t finished it?”
“No, you know I forget I’m drinking something and I finish it when I remember it.” He grabbed a cup containing half of his morning coffee and finished it as well just to prove a point. “This was my breakfast.”
“Come on, man!” Dan said. “Get it together!”
Phil winked at him with both eyes, sending Dan into a fit of laughter. Fuck, Phil had missed that sound. The hyena laugh.
To the surprise of no one, Dan won most of the races until Phil decided to slide closer to him and lay partially against him. Slowly but surely, Dan started to shift his attention from the game towards Phil, giving him little touches, playing with his hair and eventually, just pulling him to sit on his lap. That was the moment they dropped the controllers and just put on a random Studio Ghibli movie.
Dan was fully enjoying messing with Phil’s hair, giving him odd hairdos. He ran his fingers through it, pushing it into a quiff. “I like your hair pushed back.”
“Did you just quote Regina George to me?”
Dan barked out a laugh. “I think I did.”
“I know you did,” Phil said, poking Dan’s tummy. It was so soft. Phil wanted to lift his T-shirt and look at it.
“You look so gorgeous, Phil,” Dan mumbled. “I hope you don’t mind me saying it. You were always hot but right now you’re just stunning. I can’t cope with that.”
“Me?” Phil said and paused. If he told Dan what he was thinking about his body, things were going to get out of hand, so he reformulated. “Your curly hair suits you so well and your back looks so good too. You look so strong now.”
“Thanks, I think I finally hit puberty,” Dan laughed. “Do you really like my hair like this?”
Phil nodded. “It’s perfect. So pretty,” he said looking at Dan over his shoulder.
Dan wrapped his arms around Phil’s frame and dropped a small kiss to the tip of his nose.
Phil pressed his back to Dan’s chest and dropped his head back just so, their breaths mixing together as they got lost in each other’s eyes, the moment held them captive. Phil swallowed and cleared his throat, giving him a wide smile before looking away. It was not time yet. “How is your video idea coming along?” he asked instead.
“I paused it until we could discuss it again.”
“I like it a lot. I started a script of my own.”
“Oh?”
Phil finally got up from Dan’s lap and went in search of his notebook. He found it laying on his bed, uncapped pen at its side and everything. No, there was not a blue dot on his sheets, thank you for asking. “Here,” he said, handing it over to Dan.
Dan’s eyes widened when he read the title but he kept going, laughing here and there until he reached the end and looked up at Phil. “I love it. It’s much more detailed than your usual draft. Or - more detailed than what you used to write long ago.”
“I still draft the same way, it’s just for this project. I want to say the right thing and keep it brief, you know?”
Dan nodded. “I was thinking about hiring an editor, some are not as expensive as I’d thought. And for visuals… Do you remember Hector from Shittywatercolour? The one who made illustrations of us back in the day? I contacted him and can you believe that he agreed to do some illustrations for it?” He let out a deep sigh and shook his head, twirling a paper napkin between his fingers. “There are almost no people following me anymore, I’m below a million, so this is just for me. I need this video, or a part of me will always feel inside the closet no matter what I do.”
“ I understand,” Phil said. “Are you scared of your family’s reaction?”
Dan shook his head. “I emailed them last week.”
“What?”
“I kept backing out so one day I just sent them all an email. Everyone was cool except for my dad, so I cut him out of my life. No surprise there. Nana and Popsie said that it’s ok as long as I’m happy but I think they don’t get it. Hopefully they will soon so that I can flaunt you at family gatherings and vacations.”
“Really?” Phil asked. He could almost picture that, but Dan was getting a bit ahead of himself.
“Yeah,” Dan said. “For now, I would like to flaunt you in a few weeks, if you’d like to go see my play. It’s called ‘Family Disaster’ and it’s about a family crumbling as one of its members spirals. The narrator is the person spiralling so things get a bit crazy and abstract at times.”
“Sounds interesting,” Phil said. “Of course I’ll be there.”
“Thank you, Philly,” Dan said, kissing his cheek quickly.
Phil felt his heart grow twice its size inside his chest just from hearing Dan calling him Philly again.
----
Phil both loved and hated the fact that he and Dan were so compatible, now maybe even more so than before. Having grown as individuals had given them a sort of new perspective on life, yet their opinions, their humour and even their flirting had followed the same path. It was almost as if they were soulmates, just as Dan had said in the past, despite insisting that he didn't believe in any of that.
In the following weeks, proofreading and reworking Dan’s script for his “June Video” was easily overtaking his life. Dan’s passion was just that infectious and it seeped into Phil’s soul, making him even more excited over his own coming out video. At first, he didn’t want to show Dan his work because they were very different videos but Dan was so eager to see it that Phil just couldn’t deny him.
“So you’re filming it literally inside the closet,” Dan snorted.
“I thought the old-time viewers would appreciate the irony,” Phil said with a smirk.
Dan leaned in for a quick peck on the cheek. “I do appreciate it, thank you for thinking about my preferences.”
“Dork.” Phil felt himself blush and couldn’t help but smile like an idiot. It was all so new yet so familiar. They were officially doing a take two on their friendship but after some debating, they decided that certain things were allowed, such as hugging, cuddling and oftentimes, hand-holding, although not in public. “I was thinking, do you think it’s still alright for me to go see your play? I mean, if we are trying to be low-key about it.”
“I doubt that anyone we know will go see it and actually notice you in the crowd,” Dan said. “But if you feel unsure about it you don’t have to go. We can totally skip that and I can come over after, if you let me have a shower though; I’ll be a sweaty boy.”
“No, it’s not that I’m unsure about it,” Phil rushed to reassure Dan. “It’s just that-” he stopped himself, not wanting to plant the seed in Dan’s mind.
“What? You can tell me,” Dan said softly.
Phil knew he would confess all his secrets to Dan if he asked in that tone. He sounded calm, open, honest, ready to discuss things maturely and willing to listen carefully. “I am a bit hesitant because… I fear that you will freak out if someone realises I’m there, and I don’t want that to happen. I want to avoid any setbacks.”
Dan nodded. “I understand, but I don’t think I will. I know that the chance always exists but I know the chance exists, but even if it were to happen, I’m ready.”
Phil pulled him into a tight hug and smiled widely, slowly swaying from side to side, taking his time to let Dan know how proud of him he was without a single word. He pressed a kiss to Dan’s shoulder. “Look for me in the audience.”
“I never stopped looking,” Dan whispered.
---
When the day for Dan’s last show came, and with the support of his friends, Phil was ready to watch the play. He, along with Mark and Noah, sneaked almost last to a decent sized theatre and took their seats in the gallery, waiting for Dan to make an appearance.
Phil was in awe, his eyes fixated on Dan as he did such an amazing job of fleshing out his character's emotions, putting his entire body into it and not only relying on the dialogue. It was a sad play but it had a hopeful ending as ‘Tom’ underwent treatment for his mental disorder, which had gone unnamed the entire play and the family sat down to eat in a much calmer way, the lighting brighter, reminiscing of a summer afternoon in contrast to the dark and moody ambient from before.
The lights were on and the entire cast came out to bow for their audience. Phil stood and joined the crowd in the final applause. Only then did he tear his eyes away from Dan and saw Noah and Mark at his side, clapping and giving him a knowing look.
Looking back to the stage, Phil made eye contact with Dan, who winked at him and made a head incline. Phil smiled, feeling as if the butterflies in his stomach were going to fly out of his mouth at any given moment.
Noah leaned closer. “I liked the idea of going out to dinner and finally meeting Dan but it looks like you might want some privacy.”
Phil raised one eyebrow at him and blushed but didn’t address the comment. “We can go out to dinner as we agreed.”
“Please, he has managed to sneak looks your way the entire time,” Mark said. “We can go out some other time, I’m sure he’ll stick around.”
“Really?” Phil asked. “I thought I was imagining it.”
“No, it was obvious if you knew what to look for. He was smart about it,” Noah said. “He’s a good actor.”
Phil nodded proudly. “He was a theatre kid.”
“That makes sense,” Noah said. “Well, we’ll see you another time. Keep us updated.”
Mark wrapped his arms around Noah, setting his chin on his shoulder happily. “Remind him what I said. He better be good to you.”
“Shush,” Phil said, rolling his eyes. He looked down at the stage and found Dan still staring at him with a huge smile.
----
Phil stayed in his seat until most people had left the theatre and only then went in search of Dan at the back entrance. He whispered a brief hello and grabbed Phil’s hand, catching him by surprise, and led him to a taxi. Once they were sitting inside, Dan just blurted Phil’s address and turned to look at him with wide eyes. “Is that alright? Sorry, I’m just tired and since your friends left I figured we could stay in.”
“Of course. Pizza and Mario Kart sound good?”
Dan let out a breathy laugh. “You know me so well,” he said, wrapping one arm around Phil’s frame.
Letting his head rest on Dan’s shoulder, Phil relaxed and kept thinking about what he’d seen on stage. Dan was born to be in the spotlight, it’s where he looked more comfortable and at peace.
“What did you think of it?” Dan asked.
“You were amazing and the play was very interesting. It was very creative.”
“Hmm, Is that a good thing?”
“It is. I could tell that you put some of your psych knowledge into it. It was a nice metaphor on mental health and the impact it has on the person and their family.”
Dan nodded happily and stared straight ahead. “Can I still take that shower?”
“Sure,” Phil said, begging his mind to stop in its tracks. He looked at a droplet of sweat, or perhaps it was water, that fell from Dan’s hair and ran down his neck, disappearing under his white shirt.
Dan pinched Phil’s leg when he tried to pay the taxi, paying it himself instead and helping Phil out of the car. Once they were in the flat, Dan pulled him into a tight hug and stared into his soul for a moment before pressing their lips together. The fireworks igniting in Phil’s body were threatening with setting him on fire. They moved slowly, tentatively, but Phil could feel Dan’s love for him in every touch of their lips, in every sigh, in the way Dan’s hand rested on his neck softly.
Dan was relentless and it was starting to affect Phil, the heat rising within him by the second. It was too soon for that. Phil stepped away and smiled when he caught Dan’s lips chasing after him. “You can use anything from my closet, the shower is down the hall.”
“Sorry,” Dan mumbled, blushing slightly and running upstairs, presumably to Phil’s bedroom in search of clothes.
Phil pulled his phone out and called Domino’s ordering what used to be their usual. He then went to the living room to set the console and the plates before sitting on the couch for a bit. He was startled by a hand on his shoulder but relaxed when he opened his eyes and saw Dan, his hair still dripping from the shower, wearing his cookie monster pyjama pants and his York hoodie. That pulled at his heartstrings; Dan had always loved to wear that hoodie. “Did I fall asleep?”
“You did,” Dan laughed and pointed at the pizza on the coffee table.
“Fuck, I missed the doorbell?” Phil mumbled.
“It’s fine, it was a funny interaction with the delivery guy. I came out in a towel.”
“You went all the way down in a towel?” Phil asked with wide eyes.
“No! Oh my god!” Dan snorted. “I buzzed him in and got the door here. Still an unsettling view for the poor guy though.”
Phil rolled his eyes. “Unsettling, right.” He paused. “Have you considered being a model?”
“Are you serious? I could never! I look like a potato.”
“Shut up, you’re gorgeous!”
“I don’t see it,” said Dan and Phil was sad to look into his eyes and realise that he still believed that. “Don’t give me that face,” he said.
“I just think you’re so beautiful and I wish you could see it. I wish you could see yourself through my eyes,” Phil said, still trying to find the right words.
“I’m working on it... Baby steps,” Dan said and shoved him to the side unceremoniously to fit at his side.
“What’s wrong?” Dan asked, his brow furrowed with worry.
Phil poked his side and smiled at Dan’s childishness. As the night progressed, they melted deeper and deeper into the couch until Phil checked his phone and his stomach dropped at the amount of Twitter notifications. He hadn’t posted anything for a few days, this couldn’t be good news.
“Is this 2012? My 13 year old self is crying tears of joy! My ship is sailing! @amazingphil @danielhowell” Attached to the tweet were three pictures. One taken from Phil’s back as he watched Dan on stage, one zoomed in from across the street as Dan guided him to the taxi and another at the first stoplight where Dan had already settled his arm on Phil’s shoulder.
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[スタオケ] La Corda d'Oro Starlight Orchestra Main Story Chapter 1-2 Translation
*Starlight Orchestra Masterlist
*Spoiler free: Translations will remain under cut
*Video segment under cut as well
*Main story tag will be #Main Starlight
Sakuya: Ahh… I’m beat.
Sakuya: And the Dorm Mom said that she wasn’t making meals this week, so we’ll have to prepare something for ourselves too.
☆ ━━━━━━━ ∘◦♬◦∘ ━━━━━━━ ☆
youtube
???: Oh?
Sakuya: …!
???: Oh, oh, oh! Sorry to keep you youngsters waiting.
Sakuya: Uh…
???: C’mon then. Get in.
Sakuya: Huh?
???: Special seats! Now open!
☆ ━━━━━━━ ∘◦♬◦∘ ━━━━━━━ ☆
???: Yo, (L/N). I came to fulfil my end of the promise. We’re going on a trip to make the best orchestra this world has ever seen.
⊳ Choice: What are you talking about?
???: Eh? C’mon now, don’t play dumb.
⊳ Choice: Who are you?
???: C’mon, you know it’s me~ Who else would have such a sexy mature aura around… Wait…
⊳ Choice: That won’t be necessary.
???: C’mon, don’t say that~ I was even gonna let you have it for a cheaper price~ Wait-
???: Huh? For real? Seriously? You forgot who I am? This is too much even for a joke…
???: C’mon~ We promised each other, didn’t we? That we’d make the world’s best Orchestra together~! We swore this upon the brightest star, remember?
???: Wait, ehhhh!? You… You completely forgot about it? You’re not joking, are you?
???: I can’t believe this… And to think I believed in you…
???: Was I just being played? Ahh, my poor innocent heart has been shattered into pieces…
Sakuya: You're the one that suddenly came out of nowhere. What's your deal?
???: I don't wanna talk about it… I mean even if I told you that my name was Ichinose Ginga, chances are that you've already forgotten all about poor little me…
Sakuya: Yikes, this guy already sounds like a pain…
Sakuya: Wait, Ichinose Ginga!? You're THAT Conductor!?
⊳ Choice: You did a 360!
Ginga: Oh~? Did I brush up too much on my manliness?
⊳ Choice: That does bring me back…
Ginga: I know, right~? …Wait, no! You’re completely treating me like a thing from the past!
Sakuya: I don't believe this. Ichinose Ginga was the promising young Conductor, the first Japanese person to ever win the Budapest Art Concours.
Sakuya: People were even saying that he had a bright and promising future filled with success ahead of him… But, I stand corrected. You look absolutely dead on the inside.
Ginga: Well, Conductors aren't really that commonly sought after, so I went and enjoyed life for a little while, only to end up losing my spot.
Ginga: After miles of hard work and suffering many hardships, it's been 7 years since that night and my chance is finally here!
Ginga: The Orchestra Association of Japan, notorious for its stinginess, has set aside a budget to create a Student Orchestra.
Ginga: And this Orchestra's music director, in other words, their selected Conductor, is none other than— Me!
Ginga: You're in luck, (L/n). The day when we fulfil our promise has come.
Ginga: We're going to create the best Orchestra ourselves without getting tied down to anyone else!
Ginga: Huh? Why are you making such a weird face?
⊳ Choice: That's great to hear
Ginga: I know, right? Yes, good girl~ And that’s why it’s worth coming all this way.
⊳ Choice: I-I'm not part of the music ed department…
Ginga: So what if you’re in the general ed department? Don’t fret about the small things.
Ginga: Broaden your horizons! Look at it from a global perspective!
⊳ Choice: (That's way too sussy!)
Ginga: What? Aren't you kinda…slowly edging away from me? Hey! Come back here!
Sakuya: Still, it's way too big of a coincidence. Or, maybe I should say that it sounds very shady… It's unbelievable, at best.
Ginga: What~? Keep pulling that unpleasant face and you're only going to get unpleasantly unlucky, you know?
Ginga: Well, in any case, I've gone and nabbed myself two Violinists!
Sakuya: Two!? Why am I included?
Ginga: I can tell that you're a Violinist from your hands alone. You are, aren't you?
Sakuya: …!
Ginga: Hm? Oh, it's my appointment with Shinomori-sensei… and I'm running terribly late… Uh oh.
Ginga: Let's continue this tomorrow, yes?
Ginga: —Hello? Ah, yes. I'm about to reach. Really. It's just right up ahead.
And thus, the minivan retreated.
Sakuya: What was that? Is that guy actually serious about starting an Orchestra?
☆ ━━━━━━━ ∘◦♬Main Starlight♬◦∘ ━━━━━━━ ☆
Previous Part: (Chapter 1-1)
Next Part: (Chapter 1-3)
#金色のコルダ スターライトオーケストラ#スタオケ#Starlight Orchestra#otome#Translations#Kiniro no Corda#La Corda d'Oro Starlight Orchestra#Main Starlight
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i feel like a lot of native asks have come through lately, so here’s mine? in short, i feel conflicted about reconnecting as im more than just a couple of generations separated from my native ancestors.
ive grown up my whole life knowing about my indigenous ancestry and while understanding of the specifics was somewhat limited in the past few years ive managed to learn a lot. however despite all this, i feel as though because my ancestors are so many generations apart from me i don't have the "right" to reconnect? however on the other hand i also feel as though my family has managed to keep many cultural traditions, values, and teachings alive and well in our line. there's a lot of things as to why, from how you're supposed to treat elders, to how to hunt and the honor you owe the animal(s), and even so i have relatives who don't use their birth names but go entirely by nicknames they were given/earned later on, etc. i know blood quantum is made up and such but i feel like/wonder how many generations removed you are from your ancestry has to have some sort of significance? right? i am the first generation out of my family who doesn't live on what is our (forgive me for not knowing the correct term) "traditional homeland", im the first to live in a different state, different areas, etc. i feel like if i don't take the steps to try to get back in contact with our indigenous community then the opportunity may be lost for each generation after me, as im the first who is unlikely to be able to raise children in the community the generations before me had because of where i live now compared to my family. it makes me sad to think that i am potentially leaving behind my ancestors, or choosing a future where i don't remember or honor them and their values but at the same time i can't help but feel like it's unnecessary or unwanted for me to try to reconnect because there are other people who are "more native" who belong more/should have the opportunity over me. i feel like just because i want something doesn't mean i should get to have it? i want to learn more about traditions my family lost and be more in touch with traditional teachings, and arts, and so much more not only just for myself but to be able to pass these things on to my children and truly honor where we came from i just feel conflicted as to whether or not it's my place to (have the opportunity) do so and am looking for some guidance from someone who's been somewhere similar or maybe even the same place? i know that nobody can make any choices for me, but i feel like between you and the community you've built here that could potentially help me somehow- whether it be through everyone's own experiences or just links to places where others have been through something similar and i would be incredibly grateful for that. thank you.
tldr: i worry i am not native enough/too far generationally from my native ancestors to bother reconnecting/be worthy of such an opportunity that i wonder if doing so is something i should even attempt or continue to consider. is there some truth to what i am saying or is it just blood quantum related stuff i should unlearn? are there any other people here who have many generations of separation between them and their indigenous ancestors who would like to weigh in with what they did? etc.
hello there. apart from checking out this blog's reconnecting tag for more advice, remember your culture is yours. it's as simple as that. it's not a pie chart or percentage, it's either something you have by blood or it isn't. your culture is yours because your ancestors are yours and their culture is yours, even with time between you. all those generations mean you have an unbroken ancestoral connection that's complicated, not diluted. adding milk to coffee doesn't mean the coffee isn't there anymore. I can't tell you how to live your life but I like to remind people that blood quantum is a colonial measurement that has nothing useful to say about WHO you are. It was the coloniser's tool. to paraphrase a great saying, the colonisers tools will never dismantle the colonisers house. you will never find reconnection in a paradigm designed for genocide. it's YOUR culture, your community and your family's culture - if you approach your learning and reconnection from a place of treating your initial connection as a fact rather than a fraction, that connection will only become stronger. wishing you all the best! If anyone has advice for anon, pls share!
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first post ever on this blog
this is just me documenting my skills in art, more specifically realism. maybe other miscellaneous things too idk this is just a diary for myself, intended for myself to see only but if anyone else comes across this, welcome
for anyone other than myself (and maybe some friends), i'll introduce myself. i go by tags online and use she/her pronouns. i am a little on the older side (19 yo), studying design in uni. because im not a minor, you might see some nsfw things. i have a close friend who might come on here, might not, (is also into art and studies design) and a bf...... i live a really boring life..... i also really like genshin impact haha (im AR60 fyi),,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, what can i say, i just like to explore the open world 6:
i dont really want to associate myself with my other art accounts and whatnot right now, maybe i will in the future, but i want to treat this sorta like a clean slate
~
don't get me wrong, i can draw and i like to do art as a hobby but i know im not exactly that great. there are so many things i can improve on (colour and values, overall proportions, perspective, compositions, dynamics, etc)
here are some of my previous artworks:
hm maybe i should make subpages of my art lol
like a lot of recent artists, i started doing art because of anime and yeah, it really does stunt your abilities when you don't learn the basics of human anatomy lol. i mean i was young and with no proper education in art, realism was boring so,,,
but now i think realism is good art. that being said, i dont want to make photorealistic art - that is still boring imo. i want art that moves people, like 'Ivan the Terrible and His Son Ivan'.
the way Ilya Repin, the artist, captures his emotions on his face. i wanna be able to use chiaroscuro and stuff in my art etc
maybe ill analyse art sometimes on here, i think studying art is fun. tbh what inspired me to start this was a bunch of art analysis essay videos on youtube lol. here they are if you;re interested
youtube
youtube
youtube
~
i dont really care about making my tumblr page look all nice and all right now, i just wanna get good at art. i know my output will be pretty inconsistent, so dont follow this blog expecting something frequent
~
idk how ill end my posts, i want something iconic lol
i think ill just end off my posts like
tag 28112023
ill be able to make some iconic one liner with my user one day
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Yo, I somewhat lurk your blog because you make very fun and interesting posts!! Your takes are nice to read and your art is very nice; I simply avoid to reblog because I had this...vibe? I guess? That you wanted your posts to remain a little more hidden away.
That doesn't change the fact that I surely can't be the only one who lurks but certainly loves your work!!!
first of all, thank you for the kind words!!
tbh i kind of just rattled the post off and went to do stuff so i forgot about it, i didn't expect a response, so im super flattered!! (and a little embarassed, perhaps bashful)
its quite kind of you to send this...
the issue of reblogs: i dont mind at all!! as you may have noticed there are two or three posts i have locked reblogs for.. those are obviously NG (mostly either "my interpretation changed drastically so im disowning it" or "ill go back and fix it (<-art)") but everything else is A-OK ❤️ if i don't want something to be reblogged i will lock it. (usually i will leave in the tags or edit the post with the reason)
i love when my stuff is shared around!! and getting nice nonnies like you is always a lot of fun. to be honest i think because those dried up for a while i got a stir crazy
really i'm like, a very sociable person, i like to bounce ideas off of others even if its indirect and even i get really neurotic about stuff. so i read every tag and interaction with a big goofy smile on my face. i like feeling seen, and most people would not disagree that it's nice. so it's like this... i am... a huge geek
i want to be less sheepish about posting in the main tag too. the initial bad experience i had (and caused myself, i don't wanna deny that) can't really be helped anymore, but eventually i wanna be brave about it. i wanna shake off the weird mindset of "i've already ruined my shot so i should stop posting in the tag, everyone probably already has a big ❌️ on me anyway." (if someone doesn't want to see my stuff they probably already have me blocked... so its fine!!! or they can just scroll past. im not taking up any space i shouldn't. i have to learn this!!!)
there are a lot of things i don't tag because either i'm afraid my sense of humor is too esoteric and/or mean spirited or because it is a junk doodle (not in a self deprecating way, its just not something i wanna put in the tag). also cuz i post a lot, it is kind of spam-y. recently i got an ask asking why i hate httr... of course i don't!!! but i love making fun of that baby man so much. so im also wary of maybe, i might upset someone without that context and they think i'm openly posting character hate. that kind of thing, i worry TOO much
(don't worry, that ask was really funny, even if it scrambled my brain a bit)
i think a lot of people who might enjoy the blog also may bounce after reading my pinned and seeing that i don't tag spoilers. that's ok, i hope someone translates the interlude soon because somehow even in its short duration i love it a lot. com is coming out soon too!!! eventually the stock of those characters will rise and they will gain more fans and they will come across my blog and go, woah, this crazy person drew so much art prerelease!!!!. azuma's stock... will also rise!!!
at the end of the day my philosophy is that fan works are things we share out of love and passion, loving the works of others and making are like a symbiotic relationship, one cannot exist without the other. seeing other people's stuff makes me wanna make too. that kind of thing. this applies to both fan work and original work actually.
sorry you got subjected to my mentally ill ramble... im really thankful to have gotten this ask genuinely.. it super made my day
i hope you continue to enjoy the blog ^^
#ask#anonymous#sorry i talked your ear off#i think i really am hormonal right now you know how it is
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Magicam Live
Vil’s guest is a pest. Contains coarse language, people being catty bitches, and more telling than showing.
You want more, check my Twisted Wonderland Fanfiction tag. If you liked it, let me know!
~*~*~*~
Transcript of Last Week's Magicam Live From *schoenheit_official
Vil: Hello my dearest fans! As promised, I will be showing off my newest capsule makeup collection, to be released this Monday exclusively at Feathersweep Cosmetics. However, due to high demand, instead of simply demonstrating on myself, I thought I would show that anyone could be half as beautiful as me with these!
[He holds a hand out to the side.]
V: Please welcome my fellow student at Night's Raven College, Yuu.
Yuu: Yo.
[A girl with short, dark hair and tired eyes sits down beside him. Spotty and plump, with a notable double chin. She's notably underdressed, compared to Vil.]
Y: I am she. I'm *donegotisekaid, if you haven't seen yet. Full of genuine memes from another universe, as well as me figuring this place out, and pictures of my not-cat.
V: She's simply been begging me for a makeover!
Y: He asked me if I'd do it, actually.
[Vil stops and takes a deep breath, clearly irritated.]
V: Yes, well. You've prepared?
Y: I scrubbed my face real good and managed to leave most of my pimples alone, if that's what you mean.
[Vil sighs]
V: As much as you're capable of, clearly. We'll start with the primer.
Y: [with a smile] Didn't you already give me one on how to act in this?
[Vil pinched the bridge of his nose, regret pouring from every cell in his body.]
V: Just lie back and be quiet until I'm done with you.
[Yuu looks at the camera, but says nothing. There's an audible snicker from behind the camera.]
[There are a few quiet minutes where Vil prepares her face, before selecting a foundation.]
V: So, is there a reason you don't wear makeup? You could look quite nice with it.
Y: Few reasons. It's a lot of effort, and I tire easily. I don't really like the feel of it on my face, and I tend to touch my face a lot anyways, so it doesn't last. It's a lot of money, and I break out very easily.
V: I can see that. Don't you use face wash?
Y: You should have seen me when I did use it! Much worse.
V: Ugh. I'll give you something later. And none of these have a good tone for you.
Y: Just pick the closest! I'll end up wrecking it by a few hours from now anyways.
[Vil rolled his eyes.]
V: Rook, any questions from the chat?
[A familiar accented voice from offscreen]
Rook: *stellargems wants to know how Yuu found herself at NRC.
Y: Transdimensional bullshit. I'm here until we figure out how I can get home. It's not bad, I don't miss it much.
V: Yuu even has her own dorm so she doesn't have to bother anyone.
Y: Not that it stops me.
V: [sotto voce] Don't we all know.
Y: If they kept you in a building with four usable rooms total and no electricity, you'd be out and about too. At least the ghosts there are really nice and help me out.
V: Do you kiss these ones too, or was that a one time thing?
Y: If I hadn't kissed her we'd be down a student and you and half the people I hang out with would be paralyzed, so don't make fun.
[Vil stops to regard the camera.]
V: To clarify, there was an incident with a ghost princess causing a lot of trouble at the school a few months ago. Yuu decided to kiss her to fix everything, because she's both stupid and deeply strange.
Y: It was really fun until I started dying.
V: All her blood was on the outside. It was disgusting.
Y: It did work though!
V: Keep telling yourself that, you didn't kiss the one you really wanted to.
[Yuu gives him the finger, and Vil shoves her hand down.]
R: *vilpleasefathermychildren asks-
[Yuu sputters with laughter. Vil just winks at the camera with a smile that doesn't reach his eyes.]
R: They want to know if there'll be a coupon code for the new release.
V: There will! It'll be released via the official fanclub email Sunday night.
Y: It'll be a whole three percent off and you have to pay to access it.
V: Stop that.
Y: [sweetly] No.
Rook: *getterbackback wants to know what your shirt says?
Y: Yeah, hold on.
[She stands and pulls the shirt out to be seen better. It says in large letters, I'M CUTE AND I BITE]
Y: You can do one yourself if you take a dark shirt, tape the parts you want covered, and scorch the area around it with diluted bleach. I've done a few of these, a few designs more than once.
V: Destroyed them?
Y: Nah, Lil wants at least one of every one I do.
V: [to the camera] That would be our fellow student Lilia Vanrouge, from Diasomnia.
Y: He's pretty great. He's *elderbatbrat if you want to look him up.
V: Sit back down so I can figure out which blush to use.
Y: Pinks and corals work best for my skin tone.
V: I thought you didn't wear makeup?
Y: Why do you think I know wearing it tires me out? It's not something I ever did a lot because of the effort.
Y: Except for highlighter. it's basically sparkles and it's light, so I like that.
V: You remember that, but not your proper name?
Y: Ain't life grand.
R: I'm getting several questions about that. Would you care to elabourate for the chat?
Y: Yeah. I don't remember a lot about where I'm from. Culturally? Lots. What I like? What I don't like? Everything. Names and places specific to who I was? No. And don't ask me to think about it too hard, I get the worst fucking headache and I stop seeing right.
V: You've never seen right in your life.
Y: Oh, fuck off, Vil.
[Vil stops blushing one cheek to point.]
V: Stop that.
[Yuu responds by biting at his finger with an audible click when her teeth meet, laughing hysterically as Vil pulls back in shock.]
V: !!! Dreadful little monster!
Y: Yeah, but you're the one who thought you'd get more views if I was here.
R: We indeed just surged another 20,000 views and counting! Excellent work, Yuu.
Y: Thank you, Rook.
[Vil looks ready to explode.]
Y: I won't bite again, that was just too easy. Please continue, I do want to see what magic you can do.
V: This is regular makeup.
Y: Metaphorically, you jackass.
R: *rosemassacre wants to know if you're always like this.
V: She's always this horrible.
Y: Vil first saw me and called me a dumpy little potato. I told him it's because I'm great all ways and everyone wants a taste, and slapped my ass at him. He's been obsessed with me ever since.
V: I am not obsessed with you.
R: You go into a rage over her at least once a week.
V: She can't go a week without being a pest.
Y: I went three after you kicked me out of the movie club.
V: You can't just project violence on the walls of Pomfiore because I said we weren't going to watch it!
Y: Vil, it was The Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2, and it is art.
V: A man gets sawed in half in the first ten minutes.
Y: To an absolutely bangin' soundtrack. Oh that reminds me. Ad time, hold on.
[She wiggles a little before puting on her best customer service face.]
Y: If you want to access media that is quite literally from another world, please go to MonstroMedia dot com and sign up! There's ebooks, movies, tv, music, and more. Much of it is horror, sci-fi and fantasy, as it's from my person collection of media brought with me on my laptop and backup drives. You can use the code SHOENHEITSAYSWHAT for the first month free!
[She put her hand up and lowered her voice to a conspiratorial tone.]
Y: I completely understand piracy, but I'd appreciate if you paid because this is the only way I get spending money, and I can only bat my eyes at these boys so much before they expect something in return for gifts.
V: How'd Ashengrotto talk you into that one?
Y: He was going to make me start paying for all the food I eat if I didn't.
R: *waterwitchesbetgitches says, and I quote, "so like if ur the only gal at NRC how many boyfs you have"
Y: So many. At least twenty. Even more if there were girls here.
V: That is a gross exaggeration. She has maybe three, if we're being very generous on the definition.
Y: [points] And he's mad he's not one of them.
V: [squinting] You are absolutely dreadful and I can't understand how you're so popular.
Y: I like you too, Vil.
[Vil pauses, visibly taken aback.]
V: ... Thank you.
V: You know you're going to have paparazzi on your tail now, right?
Y: Aw, shit.
R: *insertmagicamhandlehere wants to know what's on your neck.
V: An antique chain with an attached charm specially made for me by Soleil Atelier.
R: I believe that was for Yuu.
[Yuu snickers, as Vil looks for himself. When her collar is pulled down, it fully reveals a vicious set of hickeys with visible toothmarks.]
V: Eww.
Y: You should see the other guy.
V: Eww!
[Vil takes a moment to recover, while Yuu laughs.]
Y: That could be a second part! Everyone needs that tutorial. "Bruise Coverup How-to by Vil Shoenheit: For when you just can't keep them off of you."
[Vil mutters something under his breath that sounds suspiciously like "nerds shouldn't be allowed to fuck"]
Y: Then where would your fans be?
V: At least there's only setting spray after this and then you can leave.
Y: Won't you get bored without me here?
R: One last question! *shroudstreaming has asked... well, there's a lengthy keysmash and an all-caps "why".
Y: Ah. Hi, babe!
Y: Hey, everyone go follow him, he's a total fucking babe and he refuses to take my word for it, no matter what I do to him-
[Vil sprays setting spray directly in her face, leading to Yuu coughing.]
V: No taste at all, and gross to boot.
Y: Asshole.
[Vil offers a mirror]
V: No. Miracle worker.
[Yuu looks... well, the same, but with an even, well made-up face.]
Y: ... Aww. You remembered I like sparkles.
V: Less likely to scrub it off if you actually like it.
[Yuu's admiring herself for a few moments in silence, with Vil watching, quite pleased.]
Y: Hey, can I do you next?
V: Absolutely not.
Y: Ask the chat.
V: No.
R: Chat says yes.
V: [With a visible eye roll] Ugh, fine.
Y: Aight. Take your shirt off.
V: What.
[Yuu brings up a case and flips it open. Inside is a magazine with a gory cover, and various things like fake blood and liquid latex.]
Y: Alright kiddies. You wanna learn how to slit a man's throat?
[Vil gets up and walks away without another word.]
Y: You said I could! Get back here!
[Yuu follows. Rook emerges from behind the camera.]
R: That's it for tonight, ma belles. Next time.
[Magicam Live ends, but not before audible yelling and scuffling, quickly cut off.]
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i never would have thought // CH.12
WRITTEN PORTION
“Okay now just smile!” (Y/n) called out, a smile spreading from cheek to cheek as the shutter clicked once more. Suga and Daichi were standing in front of the large decorative fountain that had just been built in the middle of the park as a part of some new art installation. Behind them, Noya had jumped in, sticking out his tongue as he jumped into photobomb the couple.
(Y/n) there her head back, laughter round and big in the warmth of the midday sun.
“Yo! Bro! You should have told me you were gonna get in there, I would have done it with you!” Tanaka roared, coming up behind Nishinoya and crashing a heady arm around his shoulders as he ruffled his hair.
“It was an in-the-moment thing, man! You should have just followed my lead!” Nishinoya defended, reaching up to swat away Tanaka’s hand with a smile.
“Those two have such a special bromance..” Shoyo sighed, hand over his heart in a feigned state of longing. (Y/n) snickered, bringing up her lease and calling out to Suga and Daichi who, despite no picture being taken, were still holding each other in the close position (Y/n) had posed them in. As the shutter clicked, (Y/n) finally replied,
“Aww it’s okay buddy, someday you and Kageyama will find it in yourselves to resolve your ungodly amount of sexual tension and you will finally be able to be regular friends.”
Shoyo let out a sound somewhere between a snort and a swallowed scream.
“Ha ha, very funny.” Shoyo finally replied, back now facing his aforementioned cousin.
“Oops, did I hit too close to home.” (Y/n) teased, pausing to glance over at Shoyo as a smirk pulled at her lips. But as soon as she saw him, the smirk fell, because in that moment Shoyo just so happened to be looking over at the Daichi and Suga and in his eyes, (Y/n) could see real longing, an honest desire she’d never seen beneath his expressions before. There was something missing from him, a puzzle piece she couldn’t name.
“Wait..” (Y/n) whispered cautiously, glancing back and forth between the upperclassmen and her cousin for a long minute. The cogs began to turn inside her skull and as she began putting pieces together her brows began to rise.
“Wait a fucking minute are you in love with Sugawa-“
In (Y/n)’s defense, she had been whispering, but that didn’t stop Shoyo from reaching over and punching her arm with an incredulous look crossing his eyes.
“What the fuck (Y/n)?!” Shoyo hissed, now glaring “Of fucking course not.”
“Ouch,” (Y/n) frowned, rubbing at the sore spot on her arm before mumbling an apology and pulling up her camera to eye level once more. She took a few more pictures, using the silence to fuel her internal detective machine as she tried to figure out what that distinct look across Shoyo’s face could have meant. If not Suga, maybe Daichi, but then again if that’s how he’d reacted then it couldn’t be either and it’s not like he’d ever treated them as anything other than fo-parents.
“Wait.” (Y/n) froze, lowering her lens as she turned her head towards Hinata, eyes wide.
“Do you actually have feelings for K-“
Again, in her defense (Y/n) was STILL whispering! But that hadn’t mattered in the slightest to Shoyo, who had reached up to cover his cousin's mouth with a harsh palm as his face heated up to a boiling red. (Y/n) threw up her hands in surrender, cackling internally at how painfully obvious her poor cousin was.
“Please for the love of god, shut the fuck up.” Shoyo hissed out, scowling up at (y/n) in an attempt to hide his sheer embarrassment. (Y/n) only smiled from beneath his palm, pointing to their surrounding teammates who were beginning to notice something was going on. Shoyo scrambled to release her.
“Yo, babygirl, is your cousin giving you trouble?” Nishinoya called out from on top of Tanaka’s shoulders. Unfortunately, before (Y/n) had even had a chance to open her mouth, murder had flashed across Shoyo’s eyes.
“WhaT dID YOU JUST CALL HER?” Shoyo screeched, snapping a violent glare over to the pair of second years. Nishinoya let out a squeak as Tanaka dropped him to the ground with a simple,
“You’re on your own buddy.”
Noya only had about 5 seconds total before Shoyo had taken off after him, leaving a trail of dust behind in an almost cartoonish way.
Later that afternoon, once all wrongs had been righted thanks to some good old friendly ice cream, (Y/n) had caught Shoyo’s eyes from across the group and had raised her brows suggestively. She was his cousin after all, teasing him to death was kind of her job. He only mouthed one thing in repose,
“Later.”
CH.12 II the kags initiative
A/N: Okay so unfordable the past year was absolute hell. My life was already kind of a mess when I started this story but around chapters 8-9 things started to get even worse and while I tried to keep writing it was really hard. But I've been given things time, and I took a really nice long break and I know it's been a year but I really wanna finish this story. I'm gonna try and finish this story by the end of the summer, I don't think I'll stick to an uploading schedule because I don't wanna put pressure on myself but I will keep my tags list open! Thank you all for your patience, I promise I'll make the wait worth it :)<3
previous I next
MASTERLIST
Tagslist: @domtamaki @kodzu-ken @clowninfortodoroki @kageyamasbabygorl @miya-yume @chaelysian @kittyddandnyla @chaseyui @it-was-just-a-ship @naorii-chan
@chaoticalybiased @otodiie @aristatrois@iamthepenguinwhosearseisonfire @raineedayze @freyafolkvangr
@amanemisamisa @cleopatera @tskeiki @charliefredb
@just-snog-already @kakaokenma @kageyamasgirl @sana-li @hxked @fi16ns @deephumandragonperson @leviathans-watching @animeanxiety
#haikyuu tsukishima#tsukishima fanfiction#tsukishima x reader#tsukishima texts#haikyuu smau series#kagehina
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Yo just flying by to say that I respect you and what you do, i mostly respect you fior your bravery with posting about Techno and Quackity luke I would never had had the balls to do that kind of drawings and post it for the internet to see.
Maybe I would be more confident with myself if I could draw good humanoids maybe I should stop trying to clean and just post my sketches, it seems to work for you!
If i ever do post anything smp related can i tag you?
Have a nice day/night and thank you for all the wholesomeness you bring ma heart daily x3
gonna try and get my potato brain to answer this in order of sentences. sorry if this gets ranty, my brain just kicked itself into teaching mode--
ngl man, i just kinda draw whatever, post, and hope for the best. no matter what you’re gonna get at least some ppl who been thinkin/lookin for the same thing, but just not makin content for it. draw whatever ya want man, but of course hold back on posting/drawing things ya know ya probably shouldn’t (as an example for techno and quackity stuff i’m drawin, uuuuuhhhh porn-), just ya know, post within reason, but don’t think too hard about it :V
also, tbh, i have 0 idea how i got to drawin good humans. like i drew 9 ft lanky ass mother fuckers in middle school. guess havin a weed friend to show a shit ton of your art to on the bus helps-. though, i’d say just look up refs, or use this site https://justsketch.me/ . i think there’s some apps too, but i don’t use my phone that much, so i wouldn’t know.
also also, sketches good, doodle lots, but i think the most important thing is to make sure your sketches are readable to the eye. like if you sketch something, go do somethin, and come back later and have 0 idea what the fuck anything is that you’re lookin at, it’s not a good sketch. it’s alright to erase things or even use several layers and colors to figure shit out, sometimes i even do like 2 or 3 sketches over a really simple form just to get things clearer unless i’m just like doodlin, ngl i have no idea how i 1 take anything, but i do sometimes.
and yES, you can absolutely tag me in smp stuff, so long as it’s like my sitting ducks/techno and duck!Q au, or just somethin ya think i’d find neat. idk if ya mean tag as in @, or tag as in like the actual tumblr tags, but i’d rather ya @ me. i don’t want ppl seein my name in the smp tag n thinkin i’m like a youtuber or somethin gxrcqjk
lastly, you are very welcome, thank you for comin to me askbox, and also i will try. uwu
body’s bein whack cuz the side of my head and jaw where hurting earlier, and i have no clue what it is, and my best guess is sinuses
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Share Fun Facts about Your Fics!
↳ Tagged by @bonvoyagenoona & @kpopfanfictrash – thank you so much! This looks like so much fun and I love reading all your behind the scenes!
↳ Instructions: Maybe you’re proud of a line of dialogue. Maybe you were playing with story structure, and something unexpected happened. Maybe you gave a character an idiosyncrasy that’s based on a person you know. Or maybe you just like something for no reason at all. Inquiring minds wanna know.
↳ Tagging: @randombtsprincessa @softyoongiionly @avveh @yeoldontknow @kookdiaries @jungkxook @kookingtae @kittae @ladyartemesia @hobidreams @jamaisjoons @propinqxity @kithtaehyung
Pick three of your fics and share a fun detail from each!
Wow, I really couldn’t decide which ones to talk about. But here we go:
↳ The Half-Lycan
It all started from one single drabble, and then have the character (werewolf Tae) haunting me during one NaNoWriMo period for me to return to it. Have I planned to have this one become a part of the Shifter Series/somehow connected to Blood Moon Rising? Never. But I was already working on Vampire Jimin while I was planning this one out and I must admit that I’ve had the universe all pictured inside my head before I even began writing this one. I can’t remember if anyone had pointed this out on Tumblr (which is understandable, since I posted this as a monster fic of a whooping 40k words so details might have been off lol), but I’ve had readers from Wattpad pointed a few things that I should clarify here too:
Age difference: Taehyung was 14 yo when he met OC the first time, while she was 6 going on 7 yo. Which means that she was still a child when Taehyung reached the age of 18 yo, when he was finally able to recognise her as his mate. I had to add this little detail to make it a bit more sense why Taehyung had to leave when she was a teen and to line up the story with Blood Moon Rising
The main goal of this story (together with Of Bears & Bonds and the upcoming The Agile Fox) is to simply show that it’s possible for a shifter to have a mate from a different species, something that will be useful later on Blood Moon Rising
I had initially planned to give the rest of the supporting stories in Shifter Series original characters instead of reader insert. It was unfortunate that Fever came out 2 years before this prologue did and that one had already been written with a reader insert so I had to void the idea
7 yo OC was wearing a red coat and was carrying a basket filled with wild berries and mushrooms for her sick father when Taehyung found her in the woods. Yes, this scene was partly inspired by Red Riding Hood
The scene where adult OC woke up to find wolf Taehyung stuck in the hunter’s trap was a part of my original novel which I scrapped the year before cause I lost all motivation to finish it hahaha I’m glad that I could still use it in the end. And I’m quite happy to put this one in cause it shows the connection to their first meeting. 1) because they keep meeting while Tae is in his wolf form 2) they first met by having Taehyung getting her out of trouble, while it’s OC’s turn to help Taehyung in their reunion
↳ Show Me Something
Ever had a fic that you’ve worked on for like forever and then right before you managed to finish it, all inspiration and motivation to work on it suddenly vanished? That’s what happened to me with this one. This fic was supposed to be released June/July 2020, but we all know what happened since then :”)
I’m not sure if anyone has ever noticed this but there are a lot of metaphors in this story.
The way OC described “using” Jungkook as her anchor to keep her grounded in the tilted tower represents the fact that she had kept Jungkook in her mind through life despite their initial fallout
The go-kart race and the way Jungkook kept catching up to her represent the same thing happening in real life, how now matter how much she had tried to move on, he’d always be there to remind her that he’s still present
The massage at the beach may have come out of nowhere. It did, actually, but it represents how each time they are alone, they still find the old connection between each other still going strong
There are also the constant competition going on between them and the ferris wheel ride that represents the way their life has been changing at the same time without them even knowing it
↳ Clair De Lune
I love how it had seemed as if @meispace had created this moodboard specifically for me lmao
The moment I was sent this moodboard for the colab at the time, I was instantly compelled to give this beautiful art some justice by creating something elaborate that could represent this moodboard the way it deserved. I also wanted to give this picture something unpredictable. Yoongi and his piano seemed to be a given as the main factor of the story, but I suppose nobody had truly expected to see an escort OC/reader as the female lead and I found myself loving this story more because of it.
I never truly encountered any problem while finishing this story. I remember going right into it as soon as I got my assignment, if you will, and made up a whole story that I felt so pleased with in the end. Choosing the title was a different matter, but I think the song Clair De Lune was a fitting title to represent the pace of the story (how it had flowed smoothly at the beginning before it began to rise as it reached its climax) and it made it even more fitting as we came to the scene where Yoongi took OC in their romantic dance under the moonlight while revealing his song, “Moonlight”, to his muse.
#tagged#fic talk#fic talk: the half-lycan#fic talk: show me something#fic talk: clair de lune#fic tag game
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Favourite Creations of 2021
I got tagged by @r6shippingdelivery ! THANK YOU!!!! I should say something about my 10 favourite creations that I made this year. Be it a story, art, GIFs, edits or graphics.
Here are the 5 things that I have created this year!
1. Who? - This is personal thing pretty much, that I wrote while I tried to prevent myself from having a meltdown. It feels exactly like that meme in hindsight. :| I just hope that by submitting it helped someone in some way or another.
2. Thinking in the rain - Oh, what a bliss! I really loved the theme! It was so awesome! I am still so grateful that I was able to take part in that pairup. From the moment I saw Dorka’s artwork I had to write it. I was feeling so giddy. I am still so proud of this one :)
3. Motivation - I love the idea of this challange. It was incredibly hard to write in my mother tongue. The initial idea was to motivate myself to do my uni work. And then I procrastinated both... The irony! Maybe someone is able to find motivation through it, too!
4. Theres at least five feet of snow here - Have you ever tried to juggle between writing your fic and reading your favourite book? I did and mixed up both in my head. Idk, I just love that both, the prompt and the theme of the book could be combined so beautifully xD It made my life so much easier!
5. Patches - My second Rona hobby. Aside from building my model planes, I started stitching. First a present for a friend and then I figured, that it made fun. So I tried it on some operator icons. I waited so long to post them, because I wanted to make a full post out of them and not one for each. There are already a few ones planned, so... Stay tuned!
I want to tag @titan-wolfdog because you surely have some stories to tell! And @steamclouds because you have to share yo art!
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1, 4, and 23 for hendery
Hendery + #1It’s too cold, come back!, #4 I think I’m in love with you and I’m terrified, #23 Can I kiss you?
a/n: i don’t know how to recover from writing this help, i think i got carried away im sorry lmao
✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*
It’s rather peculiar noticing that, no matter how much we think we know someone, surprisingly important elements always tend to hide themselves to the eye. One could compare such a thought with the unannounced downpour that occurred on that particular Friday night. “I swear, the forecast said there wasn’t going to be a single cloud in the sky!” declared with unparalleled confidence your friend Hendery.
You released an inaudible swear under your breath, feeling your clothes getting wetter by the minute. You had planned no activity after dinner and you regretted not booking a table in some bar nearby. Being the weekend, there was not a single place that had enough space for other people. For a while you and Hendery just stood under some small porch, arguing whose fault was it this time. “I mean, you could’ve brought an umbrella, just in case, y/n.” I trusted you! You specifically said ‘Yo y/n, no rain tonight, how lucky are we?’.” Hendery shook his head in denial, even thought he knew exactly what he had told you on the phone. You put your arms around yourself, trying to find a way to ignore the shivers but it was no use. The more you thought about it, the clearer the solution was. “Hendery, put your arm around me.” You exclaimed with an emotionless expression, accompanied by the clicking of your teeth. Your friend stared at you incredulously for a good moment. “Excuse me, I don’t think I’ve heard you right.” He answered mockingly, scratching his ear. “You heard me. I’m not repeating myself.” You said as you impatiently tapped your foot on the slippery floor. Usually, at that point, Hendery would start making fun of you, he would ask you if you ‘had a crush on him, or something’ until the end of the evening. But he didn’t do anything of the ladder, instead he put his arm around you, almost like he had been waiting for you to ask him. The grip of his arm was tight around your shoulders, maybe a little too much. But you didn’t complain since you were finally feeling a little relief from small warmth he was providing you. There was something different in the silence that you were sharing; Hendery was a little tense and his eyes were shifting in every possible direction. You could read him like a book after years of friendship, it was only obvious to you that he was hiding something. And you knew exactly how to get it out of him. You just needed an important factor: the unexpected.
Out of the blue, you leaned in closer to him. “You know what we could do?” you whispered, making sweet eyes at him. He hated when you did that, this time it was no different, but for other reasons. “What?” he asked, faking annoyance unsuccessfully. You freed yourself from his grip and ran directly into the downpour. “No, y/n! You’ll come up with a fever!” shouted Hendery but you blatantly ignored his warnings, swaying your long skirt side to side in the rain. “It’s too cold, come back!” instead of using your words, you just ran back to him and grabbed him by the sleeve of his hoodie. “C’mon, I’ve always wanted to dance in the rain!” Hendery could not find the right words. There you were, your clothes completely drenched, your hair messy and your white shoes now turning into a shade of brown; but in his eyes, you were the most beautiful you’d ever looked. How could Hendery give voice to all the things he felt when he was with you if every time he tried, he would just get tongue tied and give up? He decided to stay silent once again, letting you guide him in the rain. You grabbed both his hands and began dancing to a non-existing rhythm, to which he tagged along slowly. You tried to remember the steps of a dance you’d seen in a period movie. “Are sure you remember it right?” questioned Hendery, seeing you struggling to find which way to turn, “Can you do better, sir?” you replied, bowing clumsily. He gave you a rather ambiguous look before he answered. “Follow me, miss.” Hendery took you in his embrace, his left hand on your lower back, the other guiding you. You’d never felt him so close to you, as you two swayed unevenly in what looked like the caricature of tango. Hendery made up for the music by making strange noises, resulting in you bursting into a rigorous laughter. “Don’t laugh! Dancing the tango is an art!” he exclaimed rolling the ‘r’ a little too hardly. Unconsciously, you hid your hysterical laughter in the crook of his neck, holding on to his back trying to catch a breath from all the fun that you were having. Hendery returned the embrace, making you forget for an instance that you were standing in the pouring rain. You shifted backwards to look directly at him, for no apparent reason. Instinctively, you began pushing his now soaking wet hair away from his face in the gentlest manner. Hendery immediately melted into your touch, tilting his head so that his face would fit perfectly into your palm. Something radiated in your chest and you couldn’t quite figure out what it was. But you were sure that Hendery’s fixed gaze on you was one of the reasons you were feeling that way. If only you had known the battle your friend was facing, seeing you in his arms and holding him tightly. Eventually, he caved in. “Y/n, I can’t take it any longer.” His words came out abruptly, as fast as a lightning, leaving you confused and a little scared. “What’s wrong?” you asked, dying to know what was troubling him. “Just tell me. If you say it, it’ll make you feel better.” Hendery thought otherwise, but he knew what he had to do. He took in a long deep breath, and then the lightning stroke again. “I think I’m in love with you and I’m terrified.” His confession was professed all in one breath, because that was the only way he could figure out how to say it. Hendery’s heart was about to jump out of his chest waiting for your reaction. He expected you to get angry, to shout at him, to walk away and never talk to him again. But, to his surprise, you held him even closer, almost leaving no space between you two. You asked how long he had been feeling this way. “It’s been months now. I thought it was just a momentary feeling, that it would’ve gone away easily. I didn’t want to put our friendship at stake so I just waited. But I can’t endure it, not anymore.” You looked at him attentively as he poured his feelings out, matching the rhythm of the rain that had kept on falling in the meantime. “We must be the dumbest people on the planet.” You uttered giving Hendery a smirk, leaving him in a bit of a shock. “What? Why?!” he quickly responded showing his confusion. Then you let your hand caress his hair once again. “Because I didn’t want to say anything either, for your same reasons.” Hendery thought he was dreaming, because the thought that you could possibly ever reciprocate his feelings had been strongly pushed away by his mind, fearing rejection like a child fears the darkness. “Y/n, if this is a joke, I swear…” “I’m not joking, Hendery.” You answered pouting your lips slightly, feeling rather upset that his first instinct was to not believe you. “I think I’m love with you too.” Saying those words out loud only remarked their truthfulness. The only thing that Hendery could do was to hug you, leaving you breathless. “We really are idiots.” He confirmed, chuckling in your ear.
A few moments passed before you decided to go back under the porch, wondering why you hadn’t done that before. You hid in Hendery’s embrace once again, even though you weren’t feeling cold anymore as he rubbing your shoulders lovingly. “Since we’re both going to be sick tomorrow…” he inquired out of the blue. “Yes?” “Can I kiss you?” You smiled at his request and, for the second time that evening, you managed to leave Hendery speechless. You wasted no time before crashing your cold lips on to his, softly at first. The kiss rapidly evolved into the passionate exchange you both had craved for so long. Hendery held your hips firmly as he leaned back on one of the columns. Time seemed to have stopped, that little porch had become your own little oasis of love. You remained there for a while, taken by the bliss of the moment, letting your tongues dance with each other. Hendery started kissing your neck devotedly and only then you realised that it had stopped raining. “We should go.” You whispered in his ear before taking a step back. He agreed, but only decided to move after placing a couple of kisses on both your face and neck. As you walked back to the nearest bus station, you put your hand in his as if it were the most natural thing to do, maybe because it was.
#hendery scenarios#hendery fluff#hendery drabble#hendery fic#hendery smut#hendery angst#wayv#wayv scenarios#wayv imagines#hendery imagines#nct au#nct scenarios#nct drabbles#nct imagines#nct 127 scenarios#nct dream scenarios#wayv hendery
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Top 5 of 2020 by Laserbobcat
Rules: it’s time to love yourselves!
Choose your 5 (ish) favorite works you created in the past year (fics, art, edits, etc.) and link them below to reflect on the amazing things you brought into the world in 2020. Tag as many writers/artists/etc as you want (fan or original) so we can spread the love and link each other to awesome works!
YO so Anna tagged me on this and I’m like HAHAHA choosing only 5 things in my huge art dump that’s a joke. The monthly thing already had me sweating for fuck’s sake.
The thing is, I draw A LOT, in bulks, and I don’t really push my renders very far, so i don’t have like, awe inspiring pretty pieces I’m especially fond of...
BUT she threatened me and now I have to be self loving and all, what a nightmare. Friends are the worst.
So i’m cheating and making this into 5 categories with a few examples and links! Hahaha take that authority and rules.
#5 - OK SO maybe I have a few drawing that I like because they’re milestones in my improvement or something. It happens.
Like, finally being able to draw extra buff baddass women, finishing a more detailled illustration, getting a good dose of life and dynamism into a sketch, or just drawing an acceptable tasty piece of ass like the thirsty bitch I am.
ALSO I am proud of EVERY soft smile I managed to get out on the canvas. Soft smiles are the best and when I draw them I feel gooey and people tell me they love them. Good stuff.
#4 - Which leads to: every soft shit I’ve ever drawn, like ever. Life is harsh, we need soft content to warm us up.
I mean I was nicknamed Fluff for a reason.
I have whole ass tags especially for this btw: Softness, Hug, Kiss. I’m organized.
The links are: arcanine hug, this werewolf AU, this other AU, this screentones thing, that Swap Roles AU (yes AUs, lots of AUs) and the genderbent reguri thing I did.
#3 - The stupid shit I draw.
Comedy is my life and blood. I can’t stay serious for long. They’re also fast to do and satysfying.
That torchic comic is actually my all time most shared piece, it fucking exploded!
I don’t have tag for fun stuff cause it’s kinda my default mode...
#2 - My sonas and asks reactions
Cringe is dead, cats ears are in. This kinda goes along with the third category cause my ask reactions are some of the dumbest shit I draw.
I love asks! I rarely do things to engage with people though... I should, but i’m more of a “make stuff in my corner and dump it on the internet absent-mindedly” type of media user.
Bear with me guys. I love you.
I tag all those with “Sona”!
#1 - THIS DUDE RIGHT HERE. THIS ONE.
YEAH maybe i'm biased cause it's the OCs I'm into these days, but DAMN I'm having a blast drawing them. They saved my end of the year and my artblock/burnout.
I hope you like Luke's dumb smile cause you're probably gonna see it for a while! The tag is DnD!
I hope I can get out at least 10% of the cool shit I have in my head for them.
List includes things like :
-Tiel yelling at the others cause they fall asleep when she tells awesome stories
-Aeva learning to use a mace and leaving huge holes everywhere in the floor and walls but not touching the training dummy
-Luke and Ranec trying to drown each other in a public bath while Celadon is watching tiredly
-Tiel reluctantly polymorphing into a cat to cheer up a sad Luke
-Luke and March betting on who can piss off Ranec the fastest
-Ranec's halfling adoptive mom yelling at him cause he said the F word
-Aeva abandoning the mace and punching the dummy in frustration, tearing off its head in one move and crying about it afterwards
-Various members of the group saying that Luke's hot sister can definitely step on them, and Luke suggesting to avoid her cause she's known to do way more painful things than that
-Various members of the group wanting to be stepped on more even more
-SOME COOL FIGHT SCENES ??? That would be great?
I want to improve this year too ! i’m tired of drawing the same stuff again and again.
Flash Info News : I'm not into reguri anymore ! I mean, I love the two idiots,they have a special place in my heart, I just want to draw other things for now.
I've been drawing reguri / namelessshipping for AGES, in fact I started that tumblr almost two year ago for this ship. I used to not draw fanart that much, and certainly not share it. It was fun to obsess on a ship for that long, it felt like embracing the cringe stuff I didn't allow myself to do when I was younger.
I met cool people too sharing that interest, it was nice ! But now the interest has finally burned down.
I’M SUPPOSED TO TAG PEOPLE BUT I DON’T KNOW THAT MANY ARTISTS HERE? Maybe @empearts when you get back home? Or @geneseedraws if you have time?
@moonfang182-magic get your fingers out of your ass and make a top 5 too instead of sharing furry stuff :D
Damn I’m bad at this networking stuff. U__U
HAVE A COOL YEAR we fucking deserve it. Hope you’ll enjoy seeing my shit for the year to come too XD
#top 5#2020 art#my art#meme#chain#longpost#long post#THERE ANNA#I DID IT#OVERKILLED IT EVEN#TOOK MY DAMN EVENING#I rant because I like to rant#but it was fun
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