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#yoongi crack
sevenpersona · 2 days ago
PSA: I’m not a lawyer so none of this is accurate!!! This is a crack fic, not to be taken very seriously at all. idk if lawyers can go to jail for letting their clients lie on stand + actively encouraging and helping fabricate the clients lie!
Based off/inspired by this tweet:
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Summary: Kim Seokjin while a good lawyer sometimes has bad days and can’t help his frustration. Or Jeon Jungkook while being cross examined can’t keep his story straight as he keeps getting flustered by the good looking prosecutor. Min Yoongi just wants to go home and take a nap.
Kim Seokjin has had a great many of cases during his three years of being a lawyer but never before had he wanted to retire. Being renowned as Jin the great and handsome lawyer has gotten him a lot of high profile hard cases in the past, that were easy enough to get thrown out of court. However he has never encountered a case where his client had gotten so flustered when faced with a dimpled prosecutor!
Jeon Jungkook was used to being accused of things as a young aspiring artist. Being hot? Sure. A good artist? Absolutely! A thief?? …Possibly. What could he say! He was poor and in need of supplies necessary to finish a commissioned artwork in order to pay his rent or face being evicted in the middle of winter!
“Lawyer Kim, what can you do to make sure I’m not convicted of this crime!” Jungkook pleaded
“Listen here and listen well Mr Jeon” Jin spoke hastily “I’m only taking this case as a favour to a friend so this is how it’s going to go…..”
Judge Min Yoongi was tired. It was always the same boring petty theft cases that left him wanting to doze off if the middle of court. At least Hobi was on as one of the guards today. Maybe he would want to go out for coffee again he mused.
Prosecutor Kim Namjoon was sick and tired of getting these low level cases. They weren’t intellectually challenging at all! He longed for a high profile, high stakes case that he could put his all into, that would actually make a difference in the community.
The court proceeding had just begun and while Jin knew Jungkook was guilty, he also knew that the story he helped Jungkook fabricate was foolproof. It left no room for error.
“Mr Jeon Jungkook. Please step up to the stand to recount the series of events you had encountered the night of June 13th” Judge Min ordered.
Jungkook had recounted what had transpired the night of the robbery without a hitch. All he had to do was survive cross examination without cracking.
“Prosecutor Kim. You may begin cross examination” Judge Min decreed.
Jungkook was flustered. He wasn’t expecting the low deep voice that came from the prosecutor. Nor did he expect to see a hint of dimples. He stumbled over the story mixing the events up until there were so many holes in his account that his lawyer Kim Seokjin began to gape like a fish. The frustration was evident on Jin’s face.
“The prosecution is finished with the examination, Judge Min.” Namjoon proclaimed.
Namjoon couldn’t believe it. In all his years of working as a prosecutor, he had never seen such a solid account fall apart so quickly.
“The jury may adjourn to decide the guilt or innocence of the defendant” Judge Min dismissed.
The jury after a quick deliberation came to announce the verdict.
Juror number 1 stood up
“We decree that Mr Jeon Jungkook is guilty of one count of larceny. The Sentence for larceny is 1 Year, you will be eligible for parole in 6 months time”
Min Yoongi was relieved the case was almost concluded. He severely needed an iced americano. He motioned for the guards to collect the criminal.
Yoongi paused as he realised what lawyer Kim Seokjin had yelled in frustration at his client for everyone in court to hear.
“Lawyer Kim as you have confessed to being complicit in your clients fabricated account, you will be suspended from performing the act of law and are thereby sentence to 6 months in Jail!”
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jeojahari · 6 days ago
02 | kiss it better | myg
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🠒 summary: you're one of the lucky ones, everyone else tells you. finding your soulmate the day you turn 18 isn't something that happens to a lot of people... but you and your other half are going to have to make a lot of progress to be able to tolerate each other.
or, you and yoongi can feel everything the other feels, and you're hell bent on causing each other pain.
🠒 pairing: yoongi x reader
🠒 genre: angst, fluff, e2l!au, soulmates!au, college au, crack?
🠒 warnings: profanity, implied smut
🠒 word count: 2.6K
🠒 notes: omg tysm for all the love im literally about to start happy sobbing rn TT i hope you enjoy this chapter!! <3
btw if my writing is not up to par at any time pls let me know, i'd hate to give you low effort writing TT
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part 02: two band-aids
(series m. list)
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"I am so fucking stupid."
"I know."
"I can't believe I just ran out of there without saying anything!"
"Ah. I can."
"How is it Yoongi, though? I don't understand! How can two people who are so obviously different and have zero chance at getting along be paired like this?!"
"Hey," Jimin places a comforting hand on your shoulder, "maybe this is the universe trying to prove that you can find love where you least expect it!"
You shoot him the nastiest glare you can conjure up in the moment. "You sound like a children's fairy tale synopsis. Please shut up."
"No, but think about it!" Jimin sits upright, pulling the nearest pillow into his lap. "You don't like him, and he probably doesn't like you. You hate coffee, and he's practically in love with it. The only reason you guys ever interact is Taehyung, who you happen to be in love with."
"I'm not in love with him!"
"Sure," Jimin rolls his eyes. "Anyways, this is literally the perfect recipe for romance. I feel like I have front-row seats to the best enemies to lovers story ever."
"Don't make me hit you."
"It's true, though," Namjoon pipes up from beside you. You're sandwiched between both of them in an attempt to extinguish the growing dread in the pit of your stomach. "You don't really know what he's like, Y/N. People aren't always what they seem at first glance."
"I had more than just a glance," you snap. "And I know him for exactly what he is. A fucking sociopath."
"I mean, he's nice enough," Jimin explains. "I've spoken to him a few times in passing. Maybe he just wasn't having a good day when you talked to him?"
You pause and think, because your friends are right. It's plausible, isn't it? Not every grumpy person you meet goes out of their way to be antisocial... but you can't shake off that feeling you've harbored ever since you first met him.
"I don't like this," you whine, hiding your face under the blanket. "I don't like him. I don't want to be his soulmate."
Namjoon chuckles. "Soulmates aren't always lovers, Y/N. If he's actually a sociopath, or you genuinely despise him after giving him a chance, you're not obligated to love him."
"True," Jimin nods. "My parents were never soulmates, but you know how well they get along. They had me, after all," he adds as an afterthought. "They couldn't have done that without loving each other."
Namjoon winces. "Okay, no. Didn't need to hear that."
You let out a frustrated groan, kicking your legs under the sheets. "I hate this," you grumble. "And I can't even do anything ab — oh!" You sit up, suddenly enlightened and an imaginary lightbulb over your head. "I can!"
"You can what?" Jimin asks, clearly confused. In response, you simply beam at him before doing an impromptu somersault over his legs and tumbling right off the bed, landing on the ground with a loud thump.
"She's insane!"
"She's gone mental!"
"Is she having a seizure?"
"Do we need an ambulance?!"
"Is she okay?"
"Joon, I'm too broke to pay for the ambulance!"
You throw them both off of you. "I'm right here, very much alive, and very sane, thanks."
"Well, what was that, then?" Jimin demands. "If you were trying to show off your gymnastics skills, it didn't work. You look like a clumsy baby koala."
You point at Namjoon. "He's the clumsy one. And no, I wasn't trying to show you my nonexistent gymnastics skills." A huge smile spreads across your face. "I just discovered a great way to release all my frustration."
"By falling off the bed?"
"No, but yes." You lean in like you're about to tell them a secret. "You know... I bet Min Yoongi is cursing the heavens right now, isn't he? For pairing him with someone like me."
Namjoon stares at you incredulously. "Don't tell me..."
"She's going to do it anyway," Jimin tells him, before turning to you. "You're just going to hurt yourself to hurt him, Y/N? Are you for real?"
"It's perfect!"
"It's stupid, and usually I would tell you to go for it if you were planning to kick some dumbass's butt, but not if you're getting hurt in the process."
"Well, I'm doing it anyway," you say. You're 100% decided; you've just found the one part of your bond with Yoongi that delights you the most, and with that comes your singular goal: irritating him to no end. "And this isn't even that bad, Jimin. Wait until I'm on my period. Then he's really going to wish he never knew me."
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Actually, you're screwed.
"Ouch!" you hiss, your body jerking at the pain that courses through your arm. You're forced to stop writing mid-word, the dark blue ink a mess on your paper due to these constant interruptions of your sudden movements. "What the fuck?!"
The girl sitting across from you raises her eyebrows at you, half concerned for your sanity.
"Sorry," you whisper apologetically. "My soulmate's a jerk. Honestly, I probably caused this, but I don't regret it at all."
She laughs, eyes turning into small crescents. "Hate at first sight?"
"More like at first conversation." You sigh, letting the pen fall from your fingers. "I don't know how I'm supposed to get along with him, let alone love him. We have absolutely nothing in common, and I'm pretty sure this dislike is mutual. Which reminds me—"
You bang your knee against the table in retribution for Yoongi's attack on his own arm, a satisfied smile on your face.
"Wow." The girl stares at you, rather taken aback. "That's some serious beef you two have got."
"Yep. Can't stand him," you confirm. "What about you? Have you found yours yet?"
"Not yet," she says, trying to look indifferent — but you catch that wistful look in her eyes. "Someday soon, hopefully."
"You'll find them," you say, the exact words you've repeated to Jimin multiple times over the years. "Time is all it takes. I hope yours is less of a jerk than mine... and if they are, I'm more than happy to instruct you in the ways of torturing them."
"Noted," she smiles, before returning to her book.
You, though, can't focus. Actually, you haven't been able to concentrate on anything lately — ever since this trivial back and forth between you and Yoongi turned into something more desperate and warlike, it's all that's ever on your mind.
Sighing, you stand up, leaving your place at the table to go fetch a book from one of the many shelves lining the opposite wall of the library. It doesn't take you long to find what you're looking for, but you immediately stumble over and hit the ground, nearly knocking your head against the wood of the shelf.
"Fuck," you hear someone curse in the next aisle. You know that voice, you realize after a few seconds, immediately ducking your head around the corner in amused curiosity.
"What'd you do to yourself this time?"
Yoongi scowls at you from the ground, as irked as always. "None of your business."
"It kind of is, actually, now that I feel it too."
"Oh, really? Where was that concern when you were hurting yourself just to get back at me for doing absolutely nothing?"
"You did it back! You have no right to be telling me what I did was wrong if you decided to do it too!"
"Why the hell did you do it in the first place?"
"Shh!" The librarian walks past the two of you, giving you a sharp glare as she replaces a few books with the ones in her hands. You nod apologetically to her, head bowed.
"You're so loud," you whisper a few seconds later, just as Yoongi gets himself off the ground and has managed to gather the books he'd dropped.
"You literally started yelling first, Y/N."
A deep frown makes its way onto your face. "You know what? I still don't understand why you're like this. Can we not have a civil conversation for once? Every time I talk to you it turns into a goddamn argument!"
"Yeah, well, maybe if you'd just minded your own business, we wouldn't be having this argument!" Yoongi pauses for a breath. "You always make it an argument, Y/N, I don't go out of my way to pick a fight with you!"
"Isn't that what you're doing right now?"
"No! I just don't understand your problem with me! Look," he says, a little calmer, "I know you don't want to be my soulmate. And I'm not particularly in love with you either. But you can at least act like I'm human too, right? Or is that too much for your inflated pride?"
"Did you just call me arrogant?" you ask incredulously, trailing after him as he walks back to where he was sitting. "You think I'm doing this because I'm conceited?"
"Well, for your information, I'm not. I just really dislike you."
Yoongi tongues his cheek in frustration, slamming his book down onto the table. "And for what?" he demands. "I like to know it if and when I fuck up, Y/N. Stop repeating the fact that you hate me and just tell me why."
You flinch at his harsh tone and the sensation that sends a painful twinge through your palm. "You're just... you're so hard to talk to," you accuse. "Like, really? How am I supposed to wrap my head around this whole thing when I can't have a conversation with you without feeling like shit?"
He's gaping at you now. "I'm making you feel like shit? And you're not doing the same by basically trash talking me to my face?"
"I'm not! I'm just telling the truth; and besides, you asked!"
"Who are you to go around judging the way people are? Not everyone is bubbly and cheery, you know? Being grumpy for a second doesn't mean being grumpy for a lifetime!"
"Well, I can't tell, can I? Not when you always act like you hate the rest of the human race!"
Yoongi doesn't reply to you, just staring back at you for a few moments. Instead, his jaw clenches as he turns away without any kind of rebuttal.
"Alright," he says gruffly. "I'll go first."
Your eyes widen slightly as your frustration dissipates. You'd only meant to check on him out of curiosity after his fall, you hadn't intended for it to escalate to this scale at all... "Wait—"
"Don't bother to talk to me next time," he interrupts you, a hint of bitterness to his voice. "Since I always make you feel like shit, anyways."
"No, I didn't m—"
Yoongi's gone before you can give him any miserable excuse from your side, bag slung over his shoulder and that cup of coffee in his right hand. You catch a glimpse of his fingers wrapped around the cup, two band-aids covering the knuckles of his smallest digits, and you can't help but wonder... did you do that to him? All those days you spent wrapping bandages around your legs and arms, was he doing the same?
But you hate him, right? No matter how closely bound you two are, you're allowed to do this, aren't you?
You don't know.
You recall the sight of his worn out expression and sigh, shaking your head. Whatever it is about Min Yoongi that draws the worst out of you, you'll never know. All you're sure of is that apparently you're supposed to love him, apparently you're supposed to be his and vice versa. But you just can't.
As you trudge back to your seat, you notice that the girl from earlier is still there, still taking diligent notes — except her eyes now follow you, a mixture of concern and curiosity.
"I'm fine," you state. The words come out far harsher than intended, but she doesn't seem to take offense.
"Really?" she asks instead. "S'great if you are, but if you're not then you're just lying to yourself, Y/N."
You blink at her, surprised. "Huh? How'd you know my name?"
"You guys were yelling," she explains. "I could hear him from over here."
"Aish. Sorry."
"Don't worry about it." She chews on her pencil for a second, seemingly contemplating something. "Mind if I give you my two cents?"
The girl's awfully blunt and gets right to the point, and it reminds you of your friends for a moment. Something about her just makes you want to trust her, to let her in.
So you shrug your shoulders and say, "Sure."
"Second chances only come once."
She nods, tucking her hair behind her ear. "You don't really know anything about him," she says. "You don't know what's happened to him before. You could be his second chance, and he probably just took a blow after that whole debacle you two had over there."
She chuckles softly, and you find yourself rethinking your stance on the situation. She's right, she's right, your heart tells you, but your brain is saying something else entirely, and it's maddening.
"Give him a chance, Y/N. Everyone deserves one."
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Hours later, you're still thinking about what a random stranger said to you at the library earlier.
Yoongi? A chance? No, thank you. You don't need to waste any more of your time on guys that aren't going to give you the time of day once they're not interested.
And yet, a small part of your conscience says otherwise. He's not just any guy, it reminds you. You're soulmates for a reason.
You're so frustrated you want to tear your hair out. "Soulmates are stupid!"
Jimin walks into your room with two cans of soda, an eyebrow raised as he tosses one to you. "Yikes, Y/N. What's gotten into you today?"
"Min Yoongi," you grumble.
Your best friend gapes at you, nearly spilling his soda all over himself. "I'm sorry, what?"
"Already, Y/N?!"
You're confused as you take a sip of the sweet drink. "Already what, Jimin?"
He's opening and closing his mouth, eyes so wide he looks like a clown out of those children's cartoons. "You and Yoongi — you guys — I can't believe you finally got laid!"
This prompts you to spit out the liquid in your mouth, dissolving into a coughing fit as you try and regain your breath.
"There, there," Jimin says, stroking your back gently. "I won't mention it again if you don't want me to, I'm sorry. Was he a bad lay?"
"A bad what? Jimin, I don't know what you think I'm doing, but having sex with him is most certainly not on my list," you frown.
Your best friend, on the other hand, looks totally dumbfounded.
"Huh? But you answered with his name!"
You smack the side of his head gently. "That's not how idioms work, dumbass."
"Okay, sheesh, sorry," he apologizes, rubbing his temple. "But really, though. Everything okay with Yoongi?"
"Not really," you say truthfully, "but it's fine. Neither of us are expecting anything from the other."
Jimin looks skeptical as he eyes you carefully. "You sure?"
He tilts his head back, draining the can of soda as he swallows. "You know, Y/N, maybe you should give the guy a chance."
There it is again, that word. The one thing everyone tells you that you need to give.
But is it worth your time? Is he worth your time? Or is he just going to walk away and leave you broken again? Maybe you're being selfish, but you'd rather spare yourself the heartbreak process than willingly go into something you know won't be good for you.
"Yeah, okay," you lie through your teeth, soda can still nearly full in your hand. "Maybe I will."
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taglist: @meiadore @kimnamjoonluvbot @im-gay-no-matter-who-i-date @fangirl125reader @helenazbmrskai @min-yus @janeelizabeth1216 @chimchiekookie @chimchoom @igotnotype @beach-bitch-bitch-beach
taglist is still open! send an ask if you'd like me to add you <3
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bangtiddies · 7 days ago
The Best Latte Art
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Pairing: Seokjin x Yoongi Genre: Crack Rating: PG15 Words: 543 Warnings: swearing, sex jokes, probably extremely cringey I’m sorry
Summary: Seokjin makes a latte for Yoongi but the art looks a little... questionable, to say the least.
Note: unedited because I’m a fool. It’s been so long since I posted a fic, that I’ve forgotten how this stuff goes. I’m back!! Kinda. Knowing me, I might disappear for another month so I can’t give any promises yet! But hope you all enjoy this terrible fic hahah
Written for BGW Drabble Marathon       ⮩ Dialogue 3: “Do you take constructive criticism?” “I only take cash.”
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Yoongi doesn’t usually drink coffee for the art that’s drawn on it but a dazzling smile and wink got him sputtering out an order for a latte.
“Give me your best latte art,” he had challenged.
When the dazzling smile hands him a coffee, followed by yet another wink, Yoongi can’t stop his cheeks from going red. He looks down at the latte art to avoid the barista’s eyes, only to be thrown off by the art on his coffee.
Yoongi’s not sure if he can call it latte art. He blankly stares at what might be the most atrociously drawn heart he’s ever seen. No, it definitely looks like something else, and he doesn’t want to say what it looks like out loud. He looks up at the smiling barista behind the counter before looking down again, mind void of any words he could say to him.
Kim Seokjin is only a sort-of-friend — Yoongi’s not sure if he can say any brutal words to such a nice smile yet.
But, despite considering his friend’s feelings, Yoongi only knows honesty. So, instead of quickly thanking him for the coffee and walking away, Yoongi says the first words that come to the blank space in his mind without thinking.
“Do you take constructive criticism?”
Yoongi looks up, face void of any emotion, but mind cursing his words. He prays that Seokjin doesn’t ask him for constructive criticism, because Yoongi’s not sure if he can control what he might say. He seriously has no filter.
But, to his surprise, Seokjin doesn’t react. His smile stays the same genuine smile. A little flirty, a little teasing.
“I only take cash.”
Yoongi blinks. Seokjin’s smile twitches, but Yoongi misses it, mind going blank once again.
He furrows his eyebrows in confusion, not registering what Seokjin had said. He’s already paid for his coffee. What does Seokjin mean?
“For your dick?” Yoongi says without thinking.
Oh fuck.
Oh fuck.
He’s gone and said it now.
Seokjin, however, caught in the flow of the conversion, surprises both himself and Yoongi.
“Just for you, I’ll offer it for free.”
Seokjin’s ears turn red and he immediately avoids eye contact with Yoongi. Shocked with the words that just uttered Seokjin’s mouth, Yoongi can’t help but let a million thoughts rush through his mind as he stares at Seokjin’s red ears. And his plump lips. And his broad shoulders. And how the apron he’s wearing hugs his chest. Yoongi lets his mind wander until he finds himself imagining what it would be like to explore what’s under the clothes Seokjin is wearing.
He can feel how hot his face is getting, so he tries to look back up to Seokjin’s face to take himself away from those thoughts, only to lock eyes with Seokjin just as his head turned to answer a question asked by Jungkook.
And because Yoongi has no filter, he quickly replies to Seokjin’s earlier words.
“Let me know when.”
As he dashes out of the cafe quickly with dick-art-latte in hand, face now hot with embarrassment, he hears a soft squeak from Seokjin.
Maybe his ears were playing games on him, but he was sure he heard the pretty barista say, “I will.”
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burberryplaid · 8 days ago
puppy love ― m.yg
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synopsis: the devil is known to be incapable of love; and you're determined to romance the hell out of him.
⤷ min yoongi x reader || devil!yoongi, fluff, crack, headcannons || 785 words || rating: G || mentions of death
⤷ for the summer bingo event at @bangtanwritingbingo || kudos to writing.prompt.s for inspiring this fic
blog m.list | bingo card
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Yoongi loved being the King of Hell. ― the power, the riches, the fame; he had it all.
Though what he especially loved about the title was the fear that struck the hearts of people when they'd hear his name.
The tremble in their voices when they approached him was music to his ears.
But it all changed the day you descended into his territory.
"Excuse me! I'm kind of lost and I need help ―"
"Do you have any idea who you're talking to?" Yoongi roared, meeting the eyes of the mortal woman who dared to question him.
"Oh I know you!" You gasped, eyebrows wiggling. "You're the man of my dreams!"
The utter shock that crossed his features was almost comical, save for the horrified looks passerby's were giving you.
100% worth it though
From the harsh whispers of the people near you, you quickly piece together what had happened and how you ended up here.
Most importantly, you figured out who this hot guy is (who you may or may not have been following around for the past thirty minutes).
"You're still here?" The handsome man hissed, eyes flashing red. "Begone with you!"
"Okay, rude. But like, I still have no idea where I am or what I'm supposed to do." You pouted. "And you haven't told me your name either.
"I go by many names." He scoffed, glaring at you condescendingly. "Lucifer, Apollyon, The Son of Perdition. But you can call me Min Yoongi."
"You're the devil?" You hummed thoughtfully. "I was pretty convinced you were a magician. Since every time I look at you, everybody else disappears."
You could barely catch the annoyed scowl Yoongi sent you before he spun on his heel and practically vanished in thin air.
Laughing to yourself, you make your way down one of the many twists and turns Hell had to offer.
Yoongi on the other hand spent the following days mulling over the interaction he had with the newly dead human Y/N.
He wasn't sure why you weren't freaking out the way humans would normally behave after death; crying over their loved ones and arousing conflicts because they found their placement 'unfair'.
Then again you weren't any ordinary human. Attempting to woo the devil himself required a very strong resolve.
No matter how many times he tried to convince himself he was wandering the streets of hell for inspection, he knew the real reason he was walking around the area. ― to try and bump into you.
"Hey! Mr. Devil!" A voice rung out through the streets, demons' eyes widening at the woman brave enough to speak out in the presence of the almighty.
Standing before him with a wide smile on your face, he watched you with a puzzled expression, wondering why you seemed so chirpy in a place meant for suffering.
"Do you believe in love at first sight? Or should I walk by again?"
Yoongi was thankful for the years of practice he had of keeping his face stoic because he was on the verge of yelling incoherently at the sheer stupidity (or perhaps courage) you had.
"Do you have nothing better to do than to bother me?"
"Well I'm dead." You shrugged. "So no, not really."
As much as Yoongi wanted to deny the obvious intrigue, he couldn't help but find himself returning to the same place every second day just so he could bump into you.
"Are you a broom? Because you swept me off my feet!"
"Do you have a sunburn or are you always this hot?"
"Are you religious, because you're the answer to all my prayers."
"I am literally the Devil." He scoffed, turning away to hide the subtle twitch of his lips at your newest line.
"I can't believe I forgot your name." You gasped, smacking your forehead. Yoongi scowled, lips parting to remind you as he felt a small prick of disappointment in the frozen glacier he called a heart; when your smile stretched into the usual greasy grin you had before cooing. "Looks like I'll just have to call you mine."
"Dumb human."
Your eyes widened at the dust of pink across his cheeks and the slight twitch of his pink lips. He looked so adorable that you had half the mind to bend over and press a big smooch on his cute little nose. "Omg you're blushing!"
Unfortunately he ended up disappearing right in between your internal monologue, leaving you in the middle of a bustling street.
However, unlike the previous times, you didn't immediately start wondering whether he'd be back since you knew for a fact that you'd definitely be seeing more of him in this afterlife of yours.
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note: i literally just realized how much fun headcannons can be why have i never tried this before. thank you all for reading and i hope you enjoyed devil!yoongi <3 stay safe and have a great day :)
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angelicbox · 9 days ago
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Min Yoonji X Female Reader
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Title: fuck everything and anything (part 1)
Genre: fluff, romance, crack/humour, smidgen of angst (insecurity!), Yoonji is a badass, but when is she not, y/n is a sunshine, gay panics all around, jungkook and jimin are little shits, Namjoons just trying to get his work done, parties, game night.
Word Count: 2.8 (first part!!)
Warnings/Rating: cursing, mentions of parties, a little bit of insecurity, that’s it! | PG 15
Summary: Yoonji likes Y/N. Like likes her, like a lot.
Taglist: @stripedchickens (you asked me to tag you so :D), @rhest-in-peace
Notes: hi! So I’ve been meaning to write something about Yoonji for a while, because that is probably one of my favourite episodes of Run!BTS, and it’s mostly because of Yoonji so here you are! It’s also for pride month too!! To celebrate! I might do more female bts fics but idk... I’ll think about it! The title is a bit random, but you’ll get it eventually! Please keep in mind that these (and the BTS works that I will write in the future) are works of fiction and are not meant to be seen as anything other than that. These stories/posts are not meant to portray the real people who are used in it or their characteristics, emotions, personality and mannerisms. Hope you enjoy reading this, I know I enjoyed writing it anyway! :D
“What do you think?”, you ask excitedly, showing Jungkook your new notebook happily, running your fingers over the little flowers and gems stuck to the edges of it.
You’re sat at your usual lunch table with Jungkook, Jimin, Namjoon, and.... and Yoonji.
There’s chatter all about the lunch hall, some tables laughing loudly while interacting with each other, while others choose to show their friendship and love for each other much more quietly, chuckling lowly at memes shown to them or just simply leaning on one another.
You love it. You love the atmosphere of the different tables, all of the different ways people show their love for each other, in subtle ways.
You draw your eyes away from all of the other tables and look to Jungkook expectantly, your smile falling slightly when you notice his eyes glued to his phone.
“Jungkook...?”, you ask, and Jungkook looks up for a second with wide eyes, as if he’s only seeing you now. He lets his head fall again to watch his phone.
“Give me a second, Y/N”, Jungkook mumbles, waving his hand at you dismissively.
Your lips down turn for a second as you nod, before you turn to Jimin, who’s on your other side.
“Hey, Jimin...!”, you say, prodding at his shoulder until you notice that, like Jungkook, he’s also glued to his phone, smiling down at some video.
You sigh and lean your chin on your hand, your elbow resting upon the table.
You would move on to show Namjoon, but you know that he has a test after the lunch break that he’s currently studying for so you leave him be-
You jump slightly and look to where the low voice came from, your eyes leading you straight to Min Yoonji.
“Hi, Yoonji!”, you greet cheerfully with a smile when you hear a grunt back, peering into heavy, slanted eyes that are winged with dark eye liner and done up around the lids with smokey eyeshadow. Her pitch black, glossy hair is cut into a bob that frames her face and her delicate, but sharp, features beautifully.
“What’s that you’ve got there?”, Yoonji nods at the notebook and leans forward towards you from across the table, speaking in that low deep voice, glancing at the notebook you have clutched in your arms, holding her hands out expectantly.
“Oh!”, you exclaim, thrusting your notebook forward and into Yoonji’s awaiting hands, “I bought a white notebook the other day and had nothing to do over the weekend, so I decorated it!”
Yoonji studies the notebook carefully, running her fingers over the jewels and flowers that decorate the cover of the notebook.
You keep rambling on about your notebook, only pausing to take a breath, as Yoonji looks at you fondly while you speak. You don’t notice of course, completely oblivious to anything and everything that isn’t your notebook.
“And that’s why I prefer using glass gems over plastic ones!”, you say, finishing off your rant about fake gems, looking over at Yoonji to see her gazing at you with a glazed expression.
“Hello? Hellooo?”, you draw out the syllables of the word and wave your hand in front of Yoonji’s face, trying to get her attention, “Earth to Min Yoonji, I repeat, Earth to Min Yoonji...!”
You snort when Yoonji seems to snap back to reality, flicking her hair over her shoulder and pulling her black jacket around her a bit more.
Yoonji clears her throat quietly and hands your notebook back to you, patting it gently as it reaches your hands.
“It’s lovely”, Yoonji says dryly, and if it weren’t for the small, soft smile that adorned her face, you would’ve thought it was a sarcastic jab at your work.
You stare down at your lap before glancing back up to her for a few seconds, not knowing what to do before coming back down from the clouds.
“Uh, thank you!”, you say and twirl a piece of your hair around your finger, wincing when it gets caught on one of the rings that is wrapped around your finger.
You glance sheepishly up at Yoonji, before looking back down at the hair still caught on the small silver ring that sits snugly on your middle finger, not even waiting to see her reaction.
You try to untangle it, weaving your fingers into the small gaps and pulling slightly, but it just won’t move...! You try to pull at it as well, since the gentle approach didn’t work, but either your hair is too strong or you weren’t strong enough because the hair is still knotted around your ring.
“Here, let me have a look”, you flinch at the sound of Yoonji’s voice so near and your breath hitches when you look up and your nose bumps off of hers.
Yoonji has somehow managed to lean all the way across the table, the rest of her face probably only a couple of centimetres away from yours, and is now reaching for your hand.
She takes your smallish, warm hand into her own cold, big ones and you almost sigh in relief. It’s always sweltering in the lunch room, with all the students packed into one place. She begins to untie the hair from the ring.
You watch as her fingers move, admiring the paleness of her hands and the veins that stick out, watching as they move with each pull of her finger.
You gaze at the multiple rings that adorn her fingers, and notice excitedly, that you have matching rings on the same finger.
You have a silver ring, which currently has hair wrapped around it, that sits on your middle finger, and reads in small, engraved cursive letters “everything and anything”.
You take a look at Yoonji’s, which is on the same finger, on the same hand. You lean a bit closer to try and read whatever is engraved into it. When you finally understand what it says, your eyes widen at the word: fuck.
“Done”, Yoonji whispers, her minty breath hitting your cheek, and leans back into her own seat, tapping her phone to check the time, mumbling something about still having a few more minutes.
You pull your sleeve up a little bit to check your watch, eyes widening in surprise when you see that you only have five minutes to get to your next class.
Your start to pack your bag quickly, when Jimin stops you.
“What are you doing?”, he asks with confusion painted all over his face, “we don’t have class for another five minutes, and the class you’re going to is only like, 15 seconds away....?”
You close your small lunchbox and stuff it into your bag, making sure to be more careful when placing your notebook in.
“I have to go to history class today instead, Mr. Choi wants to talk to us about some test I think....”, you say as you gather the rest of your belongings that are left on the table and throwing your bag over your shoulder, “his class is like a six minute walk, but if I run, I’ll get there in four I think.... so bye!”
You turn on your heel and you’re just about to sprint off when you feel your bag being lifted off of your shoulders.
You turn around with your fists clenched and a glare on your face, expecting to see some meanie standing there taunting you with your bag, but instead, it’s Yoonji....?
“Yoonji! Hi! Um, I’d like to stay but I have class”, you smile at Yoonji, a bit strained as you know that now you’ll be late for class, but you don’t want to take it out on Yoonj, “so could I have my bag back? Please?”
Yoonji just keeps walking though, and even over the loud chatter of almost all the students on the school, you can still hear the clunk of her big black boots, that make her around two inches taller than you, which isn’t fair at all, because you were already smaller than her by a few centimetres without the boots.
You speed walk to catch up with Yoonji, subtly trying to take the bag off of her.
“Yoonji!”, you say, running a bit to stand on front of her to stop her, crossing your arms to convey how much you don’t like what’s happening, “give me back my bag!”
And the Yoonji does something completely unexpected, she doesn’t give your bag back nor does she just drop it. No, of course she doesn’t.
She leans forward until her cheek is brushing yours, and whispers into your ear in that low voice of hers.
“You’ll have to catch me first”, she says and then she takes off sprinting, cackling as she does so.
You blink back into reality and a feeling of determination bubbles up inside of you.
You smile and run after her, following her as she weaves through the students.
You completely forget about your class, that’s how much fun you’re having, until you realise that in the space of two minutes, you’re outside of the history classroom, standing next to Yoonji who’s smiling slightly.
“Wha?-“, you ask before Yoonji shoves your bag back to you, ushering you inside.
“Don’t think so much about it”, Yoonji says with a wink of one of her sharp eyes, as she leans against the frame of the door, “you’re still coming later, to that party Jungkook was talking about? It’s more of a game night, really.”
You just nod, smiling at Yoonji and waving her off as she makes her way to her own class.
Once you sit at one of the desks, you get your things set up, feeling your face starting to heat a bit.
You brush it off, telling yourself it was just the running.
But really, you know it’s not.
Your history teacher finally walks in and you thank him internally, not wanting to think about whatever this is anymore.
You walk from your last class and out to the school gates, waiting for the rest of your friends to exit the school so you can all walk home together.
You’re only standing at the gates for a couple of minutes, when Yoonji comes out, swinging her bag around her shoulder and flicking her hair.
You grin at her once before you both begin the trek home in silence, forgetting about the absence of the others for a few minutes.
You kick a little rock along the path on front of you, and sometimes when it strays too far onto Yoonji’s side, she kicks it back without a word.
It’s only when you really begin to appreciate the silence, that you wonder why it’s so quiet.
You shoot a questioning look at Yoonji, who seems to get your question straight away, even though you hadn’t even spoken a word yet.
“Those losers went to the shop to get some things for the game night”, Yoonji says, scuffing the top of her boot against the cement, “we’ll meet them at the place, it’s in Seokjin’s apartment.”
You know Seokjin from your culinary class, he seems nice enough, so you feel a bit of the weight being taken off your shoulders. At least it’s not some stranger.
When you finally arrive at your house, you invite Yoonji in, telling her she’s welcome to stay and get ready for the game night, afterwards leaving from your house.
You walk up the stairs with Yoonji, shouting a greeting to your parents before you do, and make your way into your bedroom. They don’t ask questions, they’ve known Yoonji for a few years already and they know they have nothing to worry, so they don’t need to question it.
Yoonji takes a place on your bed, completely letting loose and just flopping down onto it.
You giggle slightly, watching Yoonji in her all black outfit, relaxing into your bed with bright yellow covers and an assortment of obnoxious patches stitched onto it.
It’s odd.... but it makes something stir in your stomach as you gaze at her.
You sit down beside her, letting her rest her head on your lap. You run your fingers through her hair as you begin to talk about what you’re going to wear.
You talk for a bit, comparing answers for that maths test you both had a few days ago, and talking about what you’re most excited for during the summer break.
“Well, I have this dress”, you say and your nose scrunches up just thinking about it, Yoonji hums in response, signalling for you to continue, “it’s light yellow and it’s made of a light material, but I don’t think it looks that nice on me...”
You trail off and pick at your nails, looking into your open closet, trying to make an outfit appear out of thin air before your eyes.
“Try it on”, Yoonji drawls and you jump slightly, looking down at her as she raises her eyebrows that are always plucked to perfection, with a little slit in the arch of one of the left one, “let me see it”.
Yoonji moves her head to let you up and you jump off of your bed to grab the dress from your closet, walking to the bathroom to get changed.
You undress and slip into the yellow dress, fixing the straps and the hem of it, from where it falls around your knees.
You walk back into the room, pulling and tugging at the item of clothing, casting a strained smile at Yoonji before looking back down at the floor. It’s obvious to Yoonji you aren’t comfortable at all.
“It looks gorgeous”, Yoonji rasps, and she sees you blink in surprise, “but there are other things in your closet too, there’s an outfit I picked out for you on the bed”.
You glance over at the bed and sure enough, there are a set of clothes laid out on the bed neatly.
You smile a genuine smile at Yoonji, ushering her out the door before you start getting dressed.
You pull on a jumper that’s a mix of a few different colours, tugging on baggy jeans with multicoloured stitches to match.
You don’t even remember buying these but oh well.
You ruffle your hair slightly and put on some small earrings, smiling at your reflection in the mirror, and looking yourself up and down.
You stomp your feet in excitement, rushing out to open the door, flinging yourself at Yoonji, squeezing her tightly.
“I love it!”, you squeal happily into Yoonji’s shoulder, pulling back to take a look at her face, which has grown suspiciously pink, “thank you!”
Yoonji grunts something unintelligible back, and you don’t push her to repeat it. You ask her if she brought her clothes with her, and when she answers yes, you push her towards the bedroom for her to get dressed while you wait outside.
You hum to yourself and admire the stitches of your jeans as you sit on the floor, looking forward to the game night now.
The door opens with a click, and out comes Yoonji, heading straight for the mirror propped up on the wall to check her eyeliner, while you sit there, dumbstruck.
Yoonji turns to you after a moment with her hand on her hip, one of her eyebrows, the one with the slit, raised.
“So?”, Yoonji says and fixes the skirt she has on, pulling it down a little bit, “are we ready to go or what?”
You nod dumbly, taking in how Yoonji looks as you do.
She has a ripped, black wool cardigan draped over her shoulders, a black skin tight low cut shirt underneath. Gorgeous silver earrings dangle from her ears as they shine in the light. She has tucked her shirt into her black skirt, which comes down to just below her mid thigh, her legs bare under than that, bar her signature black stomper boots that she always has on.
You stumble to get up off of the floor, trying to make it seem as if you weren’t just checking Yoonji out when you finally succeed.
You grin at her before ducking down to pull your shoes on, white chunky runners with some sort of rainbow stitch in the side of it.
“Yep!”, you finally reply, grabbing Yoonji’s hand and dragging her down the stairs with you, shouting goodbye to your parents as you do so.
You push the door shut a little bit too hard when you exit the house, not letting go of Yoonji’s hand.
“Where is this house anyway?”, you ask, swinging your intertwined hands subconsciously, “you said it was Seokjin’s, right?”
Yoonji nods and doesn’t say a word, instead leading you by the hand in the right direction.
The sky is starting to melt together, the oranges and the reds blending beautifully, the trees that are on either side of the paths the only source of shade from the scorching heat that’s still lasts late into the evening.
You match the beat of your footsteps hitting the pavement to Yoonji’s, smiling when you do so successfully.
You both walk in silence until you turn a corner and arrive at a block of apartments.
Yoonji leads you in and presses the buzzer, being let in immediately. You both jog up the stairs until you reach the second floor, door number 72.
You hear the music loud and clear, and it makes you kind of anxious. You love socialising, you just don’t like the drama that, more often than not, comes with it.
Yoonji squeezes your hand as she knocks, running her thumb over your knuckles and sending you a soft look of understanding when you meet her eyes.
You squeeze her hand back, and the door opens.
37 notes · View notes
quietsimp · 9 days ago
Dude you CANNOT tell me that this video
Doesn’t radiate the same energy as this video
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*i couldn’t put the video so here is a gif instead*
12 notes · View notes
btsthinker · 11 days ago
fan behavior
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part 11 >> part 12
pairing: gamer!jungkook x gamer!reader (female reader)
summary: y/n is a famous twitch streamer, while a fan account on stan twitter who goes by “jk” hopes to get his favorite content creator’s attention. but here’s the catch—he’s also a huge figure in the gaming community just like her, but instead of “jk,” he’s called jeon jungkook. besides a couple of his friends, nobody knows he’s behind the stan account, and he intends to keep it that way.
notes: hello lomls <3333 we r nearing to the end of fan behavior as i dont rlly wanna prolong it any longer </333 but thank u again for the endless love 💜 i read every single ask and comment and it makes me so happy that ppl are enjoying this little au that i randomly made up in my head. oh and happy pride month to my lgbtqia+ angels i love u so much.
taglist is open! send an ask (or comment!) if u want to be tagged <3
also it wont let me tag some of u ?? pls lmk how to fix that T.T
@somelazysundays @sugasmind @h0babie @tae165 @infernal-alpaca @unicornbabylover @maggiexxk @becomingbts @purpletaecup @ddummbbass @ambivalentragdoll @jiminho-s @lilacdreams-00 @min-yus @crewzie-chan @lochness-butmakeitsexy @lesyeuxdeyifei @starzalign @echointhelibrary @hereforaus @yutaeminnie @finelinememories @cholychi @rjsmochii @secretlycrazyhummingbird @notvantaes @beeeb05
if u sent an ask or comment ab being in the taglist and i didnt reply im so sorry!! i got ur @ here but I was too overwhelmed to reply lol
lmk if I missed ur @!!
111 notes · View notes
fave-bts-fics · 12 days ago
And my heart is set on you (You better shape up)
BY: Bandit4Life
Yoongi has dreamt of being a star since he was a little kid and so has Taehyung. Yoongi wanted to make it big as an actor while Taehyung wants to make it with his band.
The rivalry between those two increases when both audition for the same role for this year’s musical – especially because Taehyung is breaking their only rule. Do not interfere with each other’s hobbies. Both get cast – but nothing turns out as they imagined it.
Where Taehyung can’t stop flirting and Yoongi thinks it’s some ploy to piss him off further but with their school’s interpretation of Grease they have to work together and may find out that the other isn’t as bad as they thought they would be.
4 notes · View notes
honey-boyyoongi · 12 days ago
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Pairing ➪ Yoonji x Y/n | Jimin x Y/n
Word count ➪ 2.5k
Warnings ➪ cursing through out; authors horrible attempt at humor
Summary ➪ Y/n needs a place to stay as of yesterday. Her roommate bailed on her, she’s too far from her grandmother, and her boyfriend lives in a box with his best friend. The place she seems to find has everything; space, low rent, a short commute to her job, and seemingly nice roommates. But there are some things that are kinda weird. Like how her female roommate is up at all hours, and her male roommate mumbling about his plants yelling at him in the middle of the night. She can get through this, right?
Fic Masterlist. Next
“Looking for a roommate. Must pay $500 in rent. Single room-“ ugh, no.
“Looking for roommates. No guests, no pets, no plants-“ not even a damn plant. No.
“Looking for roommates. Shared chores, guests allowed, pets allowed, must share every-“ no. It was so good up until that.
This was absolutely hopeless. Y/n knew finding a place would be a hassle, but at this point she was desperate. Sooyoung leaves in a week, and nothing meets her requirements. Her boyfriend offered her to move in, but he lives in a shoebox, with his best friend, and their shared dogs.
No. Respectfully, of course.
It would be too soon to move in with him, and she doesn’t even know if she’s ready for that. Jungwoo told her he’d gladly make room for her… somewhere. Probably.
She wished her granny lived closer, but alas she’s having the time of her life in her hometown. Y/n wished for a lot of things, and a decent place was at the top of her list. She closed her laptop in defeat, and dragged herself to bed. Maybe if she moped enough Sooyoung would stay. That would work, right?
How much would I have to bribe you to stay?
I have $10 and many flowers at my disposal.
Uh that’s hard.. have enough money to support my online shopping and caffeine addiction.
Know how to drive
Now you’re just being mean :(
Apartment hunting not going too hot?
Anytime I think the place is going to be decent something ruins it. At this rate I’ll end up living with Jungwoo and his roommate in their tiny apartment.
I’m not ready for that kind of commitment!
Yeah no. I was asking around and Sunni told me a friend of her friend 's cousin overheard her neighbor talking to another neighbor that this girl was looking for roommates. Apparently the chick has this pretty huge house in the neighborhood and lives with a couple other people.
Idk how reliable that is Sooyoung.
It’s perfect Yn! It’s a bus ride away from your job, it’s spacious, and from what the person Sunni knows said it’s plant and pet friendly too! They’ve seen this giant dog roaming around the property that she chases after.
I still don’t know, last time I listened to Sunni I got bangs and we all know how that went.
In Sunni’s defense she meant going to a hairstylist and not a self cut bang job.
And suddenly I’m Jared 19
Seriously Yn I think you should give them a call. Sunni says the chick is pretty chill and has never given the neighborhood problems.
Did Sunni give you the number?
Sunni said her name is Yoonji
Y/n has been staring at the blank open message for 20 minutes. It seems too good to be true. It does meet her requirements, and it absolutely helps that Sunni described Yoonji as chill. Y/n wouldn’t mind rowdy roommates, as long as they were courteous. The giant dog wouldn’t be a problem, Y/n loved dogs. The extra roommates are not a problem either, that’ll probably be less that she has to pay, and more she can save.
After what seems like hours of overthinking, she decides to woman up, and text Yoonji.
Hi, is this Yoonji?
Who wants to know?
Is this you Jinyoung?
Did your old ass finally learn to use a phone?
Uhm I don’t know Jinyoung.
My name is y/n my friend Sunni said you were looking for a roommate?
How do I know this isn’t Jinyoung asking for info on me?
Look I don’t know who this Jinyoung person is but I can send a picture if you’d like.
Send a picture holding a fork
Ew I haven’t been asked that since kik was a thing.
*selfie holding a fork*
Your kik comment was enough to let me know you’re not Jinyoung.
Yes this is Yoonji and yes I am looking for a roommate.
I live with 1 and half roommates right now.
Are you counting your dog as half?
Yeah my friend says you have a dog?
Oh yeah
He’s actually my friend Tae's dog.
If I could I’d count him as a whole roommate
He eats my food like one.
It’s me, Jimin and I count Jin as half because he’s never here but still has a room.
Oh. Would there be enough room?
The house is bigger than what it looks. There’s 5 rooms in the house and 4 bathrooms. If you’re interested I can send you the address and we can discuss the accommodations.
I’m free tomorrow afternoon.
1703… 1705… 1707… 1709… 1711. Y/n is nervous as hell. Getting to know new people is always awkward. She should’ve asked Sooyoung to come with her for support. She can deal with jungwoo’s tiny apartment, right?
Wrong. So, so wrong. The house is huge. It looks exactly like the creepy house at the end of the road in movies, but less rundown. There’s vines hugging the right side of the home that extend all the way to the front porch. Neatly trimmed bushes lining the sides, sporadic spots of flowers and herbs between them. Multiple sun catchers gleam in the late afternoon sun. It has a charm to it, and Y/n could definitely see herself living here.
As she makes her way towards the front, she can spot the different pots hiding behind the wooden railing. Cute Halloween decorations litter the outdoor furniture, and if she squints enough more plants can be seen hanging by the windows. It’s perfect. Sooyoung was right. Y/n will never tell her that.
She knocks twice, and then once loudly. Y/n shifts side to side anxiously. Should she text Yoonji? Was she too early? Maybe she should’ve brought something with her. That says ‘why yes I do wanna live here, here is a mini treat’ right? Ideally she would like to meet all the roommates at once, but she’d prefer to speak only with Yoonji to not be overwhelmed.
Y/n decides to knock once more, if there’s no answer she’ll go home. Maybe cry a little over having to share a tiny apartment with Jungwoo, and his roommate for the time being.
Right when she decides to curse Sooyoung for encouraging her, the prettiest man she has ever seen opens the door. Y/n has seen some beautiful people in her life. In her opinion all her friends are gorgeous, and some of the people they’re associated with have ungodly good looks. But this man is a mix of handsome, pretty, and every adjective applicable. He’s above average in height, milky honeyed skin, sparkling eyes that disappear into his cheeks when he smiles. Y/n hopes he’s one of Yoonji’s friends, and not one of the roommates.
“Hi, you must be y/n? I’m Jimin. I live here with Yoonji, and Seokjin.”
She nods dumbly, “I.. uh yeah that’s me. Is- is Yoonji here?”
“Yeah, she’s just waking up from a nap,” he explains, “ Oh, shit I’m being rude. Come in, and we can wait for her together.”
Jimin steps away from the door frame, and motions for y/n to come into their home. From the outside a couple of vine-like plants could be seen hanging from the window sill, but it does not do justice to the absolute jungle surrounding their home. Hanging dried herbs, and flowers decorate an entire wall of the dining room. Every one of them is lush and lively; y/n cannot even begin to imagine how many hours it takes to water them, let alone the proper maintenance each one needs.
“How do you take care of them?” she blurts out.
Jimin lets out a small amused huff,” Each one of them has their one watering, and maintenance schedule. I try to do them at the same time, or do a little every other day to not be overwhelmed.”
“Are these all yours?” she asks.
He nods proudly, and motions for y/n to sit,” Yup. This isn’t even all of them, I have pots outside, a few different plants between the shrubs, and a greenhouse that is my pride and joy. I do freelance, so I’m able to focus on taking care of them and my job.” Y/n feels like she’s died and gone to heaven. Her little collection of succulents, and mediocre home grown herbs would be at home here. Maybe Jimin will take pity on her, and help her keep her green babies healthy. “Are any of the plants Seokjin’s or Yoonji’s?” she asks. Jimin struggles to keep in his amused giggles,” Stars no. Seokjin, and Yoonji can barely keep themselves alive. Yoonji loves plants, they just don’t like her. She can never keep one alive for more than a week.”
“Oh, well we have that in common then,” she jokes, “I accidentally killed a few of my succulents my grandma gave me. I followed the instructions on the pot, but somehow they still didn’t make it” Jimin can’t help, but giggle at that, “Succulents are meant to be easy to take care of. But can be finicky depending on how much sun they need, even overwatering them a bit can cause the plant to die. Don’t feel bad about it.”
“I’m not reading your crap Jin!” a female voice rang.
“It’s not crap! It is a masterpiece! Appreciate the effort I had to do!” a male retorted. Their footsteps heavy on the floor above them. Doors opening, and slamming as the voices become louder.
“Your Harry Styles fanfic isn’t a masterpiece! It’s fucking trash!” she yells.
“You take that back! It’s a New York bestseller, Yoonji!”
“Everything is a best seller Jin!”
“But it got a movie, you’re telling me that doesn’t show it was good,” he asks.
Jimin winces with every heavy footstep, and comeback, “I swear they’re not always like this.”
“It wasn’t! You dragged me to the premiere, and I fell asleep a quarter into the movie.”
“He wrote a Harry Styles fanfic?” she mumbles. Jimin nods glumly,” He dragged Yoonji, and a couple of our other friends to it. Seokjin likes to say it was a win, because they got to meet the actors. But none of them knew who they were. Taehyung said the food was good, and Jungkook agreed. Apparently they almost got kicked out, because Yoonji almost got in a fight with the lead actress.”
“For the last time she tried to pull the ‘Don’t you know who I am? Meh meh meh.’ bullshit. I was trying to enjoy the free booze, Jimin!” the female hissed.
Y/n turned to see who the voice belonged to; now she wishes she dressed up a bit more. If she thought Jimin is gorgeous, Seokjin is the most ethereal man she’s ever seen. He’s all plump lips, playful eyes, and broad shoulders. He’s taller than Jimin, his legs are accentuated by his tight jeans, and heeled boots.
Seokjin realizes there’s someone new, and does a double take, “Jimin, you didn’t tell us you had a guest,” he chides,” Forgive me, if I’d have known we were having guests I'd have worn my best garments.”
He smiles radiantly, and extends a hand towards y/n,” My name is Kim Seokjin, and what would be your name my dear?” Y/n is stunned for a moment. She extends her hand into his, “My name is Y/n L/n, nice to meet you.”
Seokjin brings her hand to his lips, and gives the daintiest kiss to her knuckles, “A beautiful name for a beautiful lady.” Y/n can feel her face becoming hot. What in the name?
“Okay, Jin cut it out. She’s here as a potential roommate, quit being a creep.” said who y/n assumes was Yoonji. Holy mother of crap. Why are all of her potential roommates hot? Yoonji is by far the shortest out of all of them, but y/n is more than sure she could kill with looks alone. She has a short dark bob with no hair out of place, despite Jimin saying she just woke up from a nap. Sharp eyes with beautiful lashes, small pink mouth, cute beauty marks on her cheek and nose. She’s fucked. So so so fucked.
Her grandmother would lose her shit if she caught her staring like this ‘Y/n-ie stop looking at the poor girl like that’.
“See now you freaked her out,” Yoonji exclaimed, “I’m sorry about him, I swear I locked him up.”
“How many times do I have to tell you, those chains don’t work!” Jin answered. “Maybe they would if you weren’t so greasy.” Yoonji quipped. “Guys please,” Jimin whined, “this is why people reject the roommate offers.”
“I’m not creeped out, more like a little stunned.” Y/n mumbled.
“See Yoonji, my darling I do apologize Yoonji has such a potty mouth doesn’t she? I’ve been telling her to clean it up for years.”
“I actually don’t have a problem with her cursing,” she whispered.
The three roommates turn to y/n surprised. “I like her,” Yoonji responds. “Now, officially it’s me and Jimin-,” “hey!” “We have about 5 bedrooms, and 4 bathrooms. Jimin and Seokjin share a bathroom that connects their bedroom. I have an en-suite bath. There’s a bath next to two of the rooms, and one across the hall of another. It’s $350 a month“ “$350! I pay $450!” Jin exclaimed. “You also use my house for storage, Jin,” Yoonji answered.
“I can’t take my stuff to the council house Yoonji! Elder Choi is a sneaky bitch, with good taste I must admit.”
“Jin, the outfit he stole was ugly as fuck,I’ve been telling you that since you got it.”
“You’re just jealous it didn’t look good on you.”
“And I’ve never been more thankful,” Yoonji says, “anyways, not many rules. Clean up after yourself, guests are allowed just give us a heads up, same with pets if you decide on getting one. Label what you don’t want to share food wise.” Yoonji looks towards the males expectantly.
“Don’t go into the greenhouse,” Jimin adds, “There’s lots of fauna in there you’re probably not familiar with. I wouldn’t want you to have an allergic reaction to anything.” “I have nothing to add. Well… if you make food to share for the house, don’t add too much garlic. I have a mild allergy,” Jin says.
“Why do you eat it, if you have an allergy?” Y/n asks.
“Same reason lactose intolerant people eat things with lactose, it’s too good.” He shrugs.
Seokjin gets up from the couch, and picks up what looks to be a very expensive satchel, “Well I'll have to take my leave. If I don’t arrive at the council house soon I’ll get a nagging crow. I hope to see you soon darling.” The black haired male blows a kiss Y/n’s direction, and she’s nothing short of confused.
“So, do we have an agreement?” Yoonji asks.
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A/n: Heeeeeeey guess who’s back and inconsistent as fuck lol. I know I said I’d post single dad Yoongi, but I have a notebook full of outline for this au so I said why not? Feedback is appreciated ❤︎ if you would like to be added to a tag list let me know.
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jeojahari · 12 days ago
01 | kiss it better | myg
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🠒 summary: you're one of the lucky ones, everyone else tells you. finding your soulmate the day you turn 18 isn't something that happens to a lot of people... but you and your other half are going to have to make a lot of progress to be able to tolerate each other.
or, you and yoongi can feel everything the other feels, and you're hell bent on causing each other pain.
🠒 pairing: yoongi x reader
🠒 genre: angst, fluff, e2l!au, soulmates!au, college au, crack?
🠒 warnings: profanity, implied smut
🠒 word count: 2.2K
🠒 notes: here we go!! i'm so ready for this, i hope you are too <3 also i literally live for bff!jimin omg
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part 01: one gaze
(series m. list)
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"Happy eighteen, Y/N!"
"You're an adult now!"
"Hey, why don't I kiss you and see if we're meant to be?"
You zero in on Jimin, his playful eyes twinkling under the chandelier's light. "Try it, I dare you. It'll be the last thing you do."
"You're so mean to me," he pouts, taking another bite of your birthday cake, leaving a smidge of white frosting on his lips. Namjoon pats his shoulder comfortingly, chuckling.
"You know that's not how it works," he explains. "Your signs are supposed to match, and I'm pretty sure an apple and a moon are two very different things."
You remember that, too — your best friend and roommate screeching profanities from the shower the morning of his birthday, making you rush to the bathroom in worry.
"Jimin-ah? What's wrong?!"
"Y/N! This is the worst thing that could possibly happen to me! I might as well jump off a bridge and die!"
"Are you alright?!"
"No, Y/N, how do you expect me to be? Do you know what my fucking soulmate mark is?!"
And he'd showed you his wrist after he was done with his shower, the outline of an apple resting on his pale skin. You, of course, had found that extremely funny... unlike him.
"Yeah, yeah," Jimin says, stabbing the cake again. "Laugh all you want, Y/N. I bet I'll find my soulmate before you do."
"No way," you scoff, leaning back against the comfortable chair. "I highly doubt you ever will."
"Take that back!"
Namjoon eyes you two somewhat warily, but he's used to things like this. Having been stuck with the both of you since his junior year of high school, this isn't something out of the ordinary, and it definitely isn't the worst he's ever seen.
"You're not hot enough," Jimin retorts.
"You're not hot enough," you return pettily. "Plus, you're literally the size of Jeon Jungkook's brain, and that's saying a lot."
"Did you really just compare me to the campus fuckboy?" Looking around quickly, Jimin grabs an unused spoon off the table and hurls it at you. Ever the archery ace, his aim is not to be underestimated, and he hits you square in the shoulder.
At the same time, a strong wave of pain hits you directly in the knee, and you instinctively cry out, your sudden yelp alerting both of your friends.
"Y/N?" Jimin's eyes widen in surprise. "Are you okay? I'm so sorry, I didn't mean—!"
"No," you shake your head mid-grimace. "I mean, no, it's not you. Actually, that was a pretty weak throw, Minnie."
Namjoon offers you a sympathetic smile. "Soulmate?"
"Yep." You sigh, wincing as you shift your leg to the side. "It's been happening a lot recently. Either they're a complete doofus or someone's hurting them on purpose."
"I don't know about yours, but Namjoon is the biggest doofus around," Jimin points out, retrieving the spoon from the floor. "Do you know how often he randomly hurts himself while walking out the door and not looking where the hell he's going? It's a wonder Sejung isn't covered with bruises at this point."
"He still is the clumsiest person I know," you agree, laughing. "Oh, and she is covered with bruises, just not the kind you're talking about. At least, her neck is."
Namjoon is blushing furiously at your words. "Wait until you find yours," he defends, glancing down at the small leaf etched into his skin. "You won't be able to keep your hands off of each other."
"You would know," you giggle, mouth closing around the last chunk of cake on your fork. "Anyways, that's the deal. If they keep this up, I might just rage-murder them and live out the single life."
Jimin doesn't hesitate to point out, "Y/N, you would also die. That, or get really close to it."
"No, she definitely would die," Namjoon confirms with a nod. You take this opportunity to kick them both under the table, stifling a giggle when you see the visible winces on both their faces.
"You guys," you sigh, shaking your head, "are the absolute worst."
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Evening rolls around and you're just hanging out in your shared apartment, home alone and still feeling a bit lazy from all the cake you ate at lunch. Right as you're about to get off the couch to grab a glass of water, your phone goes off with a single notification.
[06:38 PM] idiot #1: !! y/n y/n y/n
[06:38 PM] you: jimin jimin jimin
[06:38 PM] idiot #1: please help me pls pls pls
[06:38 PM] you: what did u do now oml
[06:38 PM] idiot #1: i didn't!!! i just need u here pleeeeease can you come to table 17 at the library plssss
[06:38 PM] you: ?? why? are u abt to fail another exam? i thought u were studying with taehyung and he's basically a genius
[06:39 PM] idiot#1: no and yes bUT THE POINT IS he brought his friends, one of whom just so happens to be the insufferable jeon fucking jungkook and i need to show off my own amazingly awesome best friend or this is gonna be SO humiliating
[06:39 PM] you: jungkook is literally not that bad what do you even hate him for ???
[06:39 PM] idiot #1: bro he's literally so fucking arrogant i swear you only like him because he sweet talks u or some shit
[06:39 PM] you: he does not!!! fuckboys have hearts too sheesh, he's really sweet
[06:39 PM] idiot #1: yeah yeah whatever. he's so pathetic that he had to ask you for help on that paper
[06:39 PM] idiot #1: bruh okay fine but please will u come y/n
[06:39 PM] you: yes but only because taehyung's hot
[06:39 PM] idiot #1: oh my GOD y/n he's basically my brother
[06:39 PM] you: but he's hot
[06:39 PM] idiot #1: okay will u just... come here alr pls.... drool all over tae you want just pls be next to me rn
[06:40 PM] you: okok chill man give me 5 mins
[06:40 PM] idiot #1: THANK YOU !!!!!!!
And that is how you find yourself staring down your tiny collection of clothes, trying to figure out what to wear to make yourself look pretty enough. The fact that Kim Taehyung is going to be there sends butterflies fluttering through your being, your cheeks burning at the thought of him talking to you... holding you... kissing you...
Okay, that's too far, Y/N. Too fucking far.
But an idea pops into your head, just as you're slipping the white sweater over your arms — what if he's the one you're meant for? What if the mark on his skin matches perfectly with yours, a dainty little crescent moon on his wrist? It is possible; his birthday was only around two weeks ago, after all.
What if, what if, what if. Your life is filled with uncertainties and doubts — who's staying? Who's leaving? Who's the one breaking your heart this time around? It's safe to say that Jimin and Namjoon are the only two constants in your equation... along with your future soulmate, that is.
(If you ever end up finding them.)
It's quarter to seven when you push open the double doors of the library, clad in warm jeans and a coat over the sweater you'd decided on earlier. January weather is not too kind, and you probably would have frozen to death if you'd spent a second longer outside.
Sure enough, someone is waving you over to table 17 — it's Jungkook, curly black hair peeking out from under a dark green beanie and sporting a genuine smile. "You came!"
"Hi, Jungkook!" you greet him, not missing the disgusted look on your best friend's face as you take the seat beside him. "Yeah, I couldn't just ignore Jimin when he texted... that wouldn't have ended well for me at all. His temper is a bit, um—"
"I didn't call you here to slander me," Jimin grumbles, kicking your foot weakly. You elbow him in return.
"Glad you could make it, Y/N," a deep voice adds from Jungkook's right.
Of course, it's none other than Taehyung himself, donning a patterned sweater and a pair of glasses perched on his nose. He looks like such a boyfriend that you wish he was yours.
"We don't see each other that often, now that I think about it!" he continues. "We should all hang out together more, don't you think?"
But there's something missing when he looks at you, his earnest gaze meeting yours. You brace yourself for something, anything — but it never comes. The euphoric sensation Namjoon described before doesn't hit you, and you're left hollow.
Is Taehyung not for you?
The universe says, no. And yet you can't help but be endeared to his grin, all those little mannerisms he has that you've picked up on, the sweet and caring way he talks to you...
No, you're not in love, and you're certainly not going to spend the whole week crying over the fact that you're not his soulmate. But you're just a little miffed, your heart sinking a bit as his sleeve rides up to reveal a perfect little cloud resting on his skin.
"Yeah," you answer, smiling nonetheless. We definitely sho—ah!"
"You okay?" Jimin asks as you scrunch your face up in displeasure again, wincing mid-sentence. "I'm gonna fucking kill your soulmate for this, you know."
"Not if I beat you to it," you grumble, your legs still throbbing from the sharp impact. "I swear they're always hurting themselves."
"Sounds like Yoongi," Taehyung chuckles. "I already feel bad for his soulmate, he walks like he's drunk if he hasn't had at least one cup of coffee each hour."
You scoff. "Min Yoongi and his coffee addiction," you say, rolling your eyes. "He makes it seem like such a big deal. He's literally an adult, like, deal with it."
"How come you hate him so much?" Jungkook asks curiously. "Like, he's not the friendliest person around, but..."
"Precisely," you huff. "He's so... it's a wonder he's even living as a part of today's society! It's like he's an old grumpy dude who's resolved to be as anti-social as possible for the rest of his life and it's so. Annoying. The one time I said hi and tried to start a conversation with him, he literally told me not to waste oxygen and walked away."
Jimin exhales. "Damn."
"Right? And I don't know how Jungkook and Tae find him so likable and shit when all he does is make anyone else who tries to talk to him feel like a stupid fool. I mean, really? Now I feel like a total idiot."
"For the record, you're not."
You whirl around at the new voice, startled at the sight of a brown-haired guy before you, coffee cup in hand, and you have absolutely no words.
Had Yoongi been standing behind you the entire time you were shit-talking him?
But that's not even the worst of it — the real issue here is that all of a sudden you feel like you're flying, your heart soaring higher than any bird, your breath taken away in all of one second. Is he? Is it possible? Is he actually?
You refuse to believe it, shock coursing through your veins. It can't be him. "Which one of you... which one of you is it?"
Jungkook and Jimin give you confused looks, while Taehyung stares blankly, trying to comprehend the situation. "You okay?"
"Y-yeah..." You're breathing quickly now, heart racing a thousand miles an hour but your mind repeating words of denial like a mantra. No, no, no, no, no.
But when you finally gather up the courage to look up into Yoongi's eyes, you're rendered speechless again, because he's mirroring your expression back to you, completely gobsmacked.
He's looking at you the way you've always wanted Taehyung to look at you, like you're his entire world and nothing else, but you know it's just a farce. The fact that you're suddenly enraptured by his presence disgusts you, knowing that this is only temporary and he'll go back to being cantankerous in just a few minutes. You're desperately wishing this is one big prank the universe has decided to play on you both, that the ink on your wrists will go back to being black like they used to.
But no. They continue to shine silver, glittering under the soft lights.
Your brain still refuses to process this information, but you don't need to see the mark on Yoongi's skin to know that unfortunately, he's the one for you, whether you like it or not. You're going to have to spend your life with someone you'd rather you'd never met at all.
Funny how just one gaze can completely change your life, for the absolute worst.
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taglist: @meiadore @kimnamjoonluvbot
taglist is still open! send an ask if you'd like me to add you <3
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next | series m. list | main m. list
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meiadore · 13 days ago
priest: repeat after me
taehyung: after me after me after me after me after me after me after me after me after me
priest, to taehyung’ s/o: are you sure this is the one you want?
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hopekiedokie · 15 days ago
Mall is Life | Episode 2 (2/2) : The Birthday Period
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Summary: Your dad thinks it’s best for you to pay off the credit card that you just maxed out. Meaning, it’s time for you to finally get your very first job…at the mall. As a true blue spoiled daughter from a very rich family, what could possibly happen? Form a labour union and overthrow the oppressive government with 7 other underpaid and overworked guys??? Or maybe just form a bond with them and have the best time of your life?
Pairing: bts x reader
Genre: mall!au, lowkey a sitcom, fluff, sprinkle of angst, and a whole lot of pure crack
Word count: 9k+
Episode summary: (Even more of) Seokjin’s slow descent into a disaster of a birthday + The boys get educated with period talks
Notes: Dudes I'm finally flying back to my country in a couple of days after almost two years and y'all don't understand how happy I am ahhhhh. Hopefully nothing bad happens anymore (*ehem* miss rona again). Btw I updated the banner and changed a lot about the character guides so check it out if you want to. Enjoy!!!!
Posted on: 30th of May, 2021
— • masterlist | previous | Episode 2 (2/2) | next • —
“Are you sure you’re not joining us later at the party?”
“Yeah, I’m sure. You guys have fun without me.” Yoongi turns down his coworker’s invite for probably the fourth time today.
You see, there’s going to be this really big party inside uTunes after hours.
All employees are invited and apparently, a whole lot of other outsiders are showing up too
What can he say? His manager is really popular. Besides, uTunes parties are all the rave around here.
But as much as he wants to stay and build connections for his music career, he’d rather just go home and store a lot of energy for the coming hectic days of the Christmas season and the New Years.
There's gonna be a lot more parties for him to attend in the next few weeks anyway.
For now, he can’t wait to finally be back in the comforts of his own home!
He’s already thinking of a particular bath bomb and scented candle he’d be using tonight.
And he’s got the perfect soundtrack to listen to which happens to be The Rocky Horror Picture Show.
He’s playing it because “Sweet Transvestite” played this morning and it’s been stuck in his head the whole day. 
It’s not because he’s intrigued with the entire soundtrack, okAy???
He’s a man of “taste” and will stay firmly like that.
Btw Yoongi would like to stress that if anyone learns of his night routine and outs this to other people, he’d personally drown them in his bath.
Like every night, he makes a beeline to your designated spot at the food court.
You guys like to wait for each other here and head out together.
Hoseok is the only one here and so he chooses to sit parallel to him.
“Oh, hi hyung! Long day?”
“It’s a good thing we’re going home now, huh?”
Yoongi couldn’t agree more to that.
With that, silence falls between the two.
It’s a comfortable silence.
But as they continue to sit opposite each other, just staring, this comfortable silence turns a bit weird and heavy.
What is this funny feeling?
It’s like they’re supposed to be doing something…..
What is this “something” though????
“THE GIFT!!1!!”
Both men shout out loud.
Guys, gals, and all my non binary pals,
This is the part of the story where everything just slowly falls apart.
Buckle up, bitches.
"Here! Take them!"
Jungkook sets his pink hydro flask (that's apparently one of his sister's) on the table and extends his hand towards you to give an advil,
Namjoon spritzes a bottle of lavender aromatherapy mist around you to help “soothe and relieve stress” as the label claims (then contemplates on dousing himself with it too),
And Jimin carefully places their diy heating pad (a warm bottle of water wrapped in a towel) on your abdomen.
The bottle rolls off your stomach and falls to the ground. It makes a rather loud thud and the lads expect you to reach for it.
You don't make any signs that you'll move from your position, though. You stay still, laying down on the ratty leather bench with your legs slightly folded.
Namjoon thinks, is it really that bad to go through your period?
I mean, he's aware that it can be an inconvenience but he's never realised that it's this bad.
The inner masochist in him kind of wants to experience it ngl. BUT YOU DIDN'T HEAR IT FROM ME!
Jimin picks the bottle up and places it again on your abdomen very very carefully as to not anger you.
He keeps hold of it in place because you didn't grab it again.
Man, you really want to be babied right now, huh?
Well, Jimin will absolutely do it for you even though he is quite terrified.
"Do you know what it feels like to get hit by a bowling ball right in your guts?"
"………….Uh, no……..??" The boys collectively answer after exchanging disturbed looks.
"I think it might be close to this." You groan out for the nth time today.
That sounds like a huge stretch and they kind of don't believe you BUT they do feel for you.
Like, genuinely feel for you…….deep down.
As annoying as you are right now, they can't help but feel bad especially since you really went through a lot today.
It's like they met three other Y/ns.
ANd you haven't even begun your period!
It's absolutely maddening!
Namjoon sighs deeply.
He sits next to you (keeping a respectable distance) and gives your forehead a couple of awkward pats.
"Why don't you sit up so you can drink this. Jungkook did say it'll help."
"It WILL." Jungkook huffs.
Honestly, do they still not believe his first hand experiences with handling menstruating females?
With much protest, they finally got you to sit up and take the necessary painkiller.
Jungkook even gives you a really good back massage.
On the other hand, Jimin thinks to himself that he may not be able to handle you all by himself when you go home in a few.
He thinks this is too much work! Not to mention, he'll definitely cry too once you start crying.
But he'll still gladly do his best to care for you if you'd let him! (Even though he's still slightly hurt by you.)
The Advil has barely had enough time to kick in and suddenly you feel like you need to take another one for whatever comes next. Because the forgotten man of the hour, Kim "The Birthday Boi" Seokjin, makes his appearance.
"Alright, I'm here! Where's the party train going?"
The three men are completely aghast to see Seokjin standing in front of them, all hyped up.
Seokjin rolls his eyes and chuckles, "You said meet up at the usual spot after clocking out!"
What silly friends he's got!
“OooOoooOoooh maybe you're planning a surprise and this is part of it.” He thinks to himself.
He gets even more excited at the thought of it.
Meanwhile, the other guys look like heaven and earth just crashed on them.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit oh shit
They've completely forgotten to do their assigned tasks all because of you!
Your groaning arse is too much in pain to be comprehending what's going on right now so they can't even ask you to personally fix this mess.
Why hasn't the painkiller kicked in yet???
"Uhhhh….we definitely said 30 minutes after clocking out." Namjoon manages to come up with something to buy you guys some more time.
"No, you didn't."
Jimin is quick to jump in on this,
"Oh, yes we did! We specifically told you to meet 30 minutes AFTER clocking out!" He says not forgetting to flash Seokjin his killer smile.
Seokjin doesn't seem to buy this.
In fact, his smile is gone and is now replaced with a confused one.
Namjoon nudges Jungkook to say something and hopefully use his charmz™. With both Jimin and Jungkook, no one can be able to withstand the power emanating from them!
"Huh? Oh!" Jungkook quickly realises what he needs to do. "That's right, hyung! 30 minutes after clocking out!"
Then, Jungkook flashes his own killer smile.
Seokjin is like (•ิ_•ิ)?
Why are they being weird and shady right now?
Namjoon stands and walks towards him.
"You've almost ruined our surprise! The rest of the guys aren't even here yet...You better run along and come back in 30 MINUTES."
"Yes, after 30 minutes!"
Seokjin gets that a special surprise for a special guy does take a lot of preparations!
He wants to give you guys a decent shot at this since y'all have been nice enough to do something great for him.
So with fondness apparent on his face, he shakes his head and gives the boys what they want.
"Fine, fine, fine! I'll go. You better blow my socks off when I get back!"
"That is a promise you can count on, hyung!" (Oof yikes)
They wave at each other until Seokjin is nowhere in sight.
He's gone now…….
The three guys stare at each other for approximately three seconds.
Then all hell breaks loose.
They scream at each other like complete fools before they run away to fiNALLy try and achieve their set goals.
Jungkook is quick to come back to your booth and yanks you up with him.
Oh right, you're his partner….
Whoops, he totally did NOT forget about you.
Those "period care" should freaking take effect now or he's the one who's gonna be crying!
He can't believe that Seokjin's birthday really slipped from your guy's minds.
Hopefully, his Yoongi hyung and Hoseok hyung have gotten a gift.
At least one thing could go right…..
Lol, who's gonna tell him?
Who's gonna tell him that his Yoongi hyung and Hoseok hyung are also currently running around the mall like a bunch of madmen?
Cause they definitely are.
Birds of a feather, really do flock together.
Or more appropriately,,,,
Y'all really do be sharing the same brain cells!
All of you try to run from one shop to the other but alas! Pretty much everything is closed up.
Eventually, all of you reach the point of realisation that you have completely blown it. So one by one, everyone returns to the food court with guilty hearts.
Yoongi and Hoseok were the first to arrive.
Taehyung is already there, waiting for everyone to head to his place.
Oh, little does he know that he's about to get whiplashed in the face with his friends' foolishness.
"Where the heck are the others?" Taehyung muses out loud.
To Yoongi and Hoseok, they couldn’t care less about the rest of you. You guys have no gift yet and that's more important!
"Tae, uh we have a problem regarding about the gift--"
"Oh there they are! GUYS COME ON, PICK UP THE PACE!"
Taehyung's excited smile slowly disappears as your guys' long faces become more apparent to him.
He takes that this probably has something to do with your period so he shouldn't get too concerned about it!
"Okay! Let's run down everything!"
He starts enumerating the things needed for the party. With every item on the list that he mentions, your faces just look even more defeated.
Man, you lot are really running to be this year’s most rubbish friends.
"And that's that!" Taehyung concludes with a clap of his hands.
He doesn't fail to take note of the fact that he seems to be the only one buzzing with excitement. But he brushes it to the side.
"So……..Where's everything?"
(ノ ̄^ ̄)ノ Dead silence ~~~~
Is he talking to thin air right now?
Uh, earth to everyone? HELLO???
Hoseok raises his hand as if he's inside a classroom.
"Yes, Hoseok hyung?"
"We seem to have forgotten to buy a gift."
At least he was straightforward about it, am I right?
Taehyung sighs.
Ngl, a really really really small voice inside him kept telling him that something like this might happen. So somehow, a part of him kinda saw this coming.
"Okay, okay. That's fine!” Taehyung assured everyone. A very rare occasion that he’s the optimistic one.
“I'm sure the party itself could classify as a gift so no worries!"
Glad Yoongi and Hoseok's bums are saved! Same goes with the party, so let's get the show started!
"Uhhhhhh……." Jungkook raises his hand now.
Oh, what is it this time???
"Yes, Jungkook?"
He looks at you for some help but you just have your head on the table..
He really is out here doing the most he’s ever done, huh?
"Well, uhm. You see! The decorations….We sorta uh, they aren't………Y/n and I…..I mean, we….Well......We also ᶠᵒʳᵍᵒᵗ ᵗᵒ ᵍᵉᵗ ᵃⁿʸ ᵈᵉᶜᵒʳᵃᵗⁱᵒⁿˢ"
Deep breaths for Taehyung.
He needs to remember the breathing exercises he used to do when he and his mother used to do yoga.
He wants to lose his cool so bAdly.
How did ⅔ of the pairs forget their only tasks???
Alright, it’s fine! What can they do now?
Taehyung takes a very very very deep breath. (So deep that he probably has enough air to cross the Pacific Ocean)
“You know what, Kook? It’s okay. I understand that everyone’s busy!” He says through a painfully tight smile and gritted teeth.
“I mean, at least we have something to eat. Right, Jiminie and Namjoon hyung?”
Once again,
(ノ ̄^ ̄)ノ Dead silence ~~~~
All he’s met is Jimin’s glossy eyes and Namjoon’s disappointed ones.
What?? Them too?
B o iiii iiiiii iiiiiiii iii
Genuinely, what is this?!
This is much more of a disaster than Namjoon’s dating life.
Taehyung rubs his temples.
Is this really how tonight’s gonna go after an entire day of flipping burgers and taking orders with the hideous twins??
“Tae, we’re really sorry! I wasn’t able to contact my friend at Seokjin hyung’s favourite restaurant. Things just slipped our minds.”
Namjoon agreed quietly with Jimin’s explanation.
He wanted so bad to blame you and your “period needs” but he figures that you’ve gone through enough today.
Besides, he tells himself it’s not your fault. Having your period is a biologically inherent phenomenon for females.
“How about we just order some pizza and call it a day? Then maybe watch a movie or something?” Hoseok tries to suggest.
He feels like he needs to speak up since he’s the sole reason for their current predicament.
“You literally kept promising him a ‘special birthday party that he won’t forget’. Now, we’re just gonna surprise him with a normie movie night?”
Taehyung’s got a point.
“Then, now what?”
“You tell us, Hoseok. Remind me again whose fault it is that we’re in this situation?”
“Dude, for the last time! I only wanted to make him feel better!”
“Yeah, but at what cost??”
“Guys, stop fighting!”
“Jimin, we’re not fighting! We’re just…...having a mature discussion!”
“And was it mature of y’all to forget your one tasks?”
“Okay, you know what Taehyung? Shut up cause you litERALLY DIDN’T DO ANYTHING!”
“Why is everyone raising their voices?”
“Ughhhhhhhh my headache is intensifying the more you, men, spew nonsensical things!”
“As if you’ve done anything useful this entire time, woman!”
You guys seem to have reached an impasse here.
Unless our resident main meddler pulls something up his sleeves!
Once again, it’s time for him to take matters into his own sexy hands and take over this lame party.
During this entire discussion, Yoongi has been dead silent because the cogs of his “Genius” brain have been turning at a whopping 69 turns a minute.
Which isn’t really that fast but eXcUse HiS gRowiNG oLd bRaiN, alright? It’s doing its best.
“I’ve got an idea.” Yoongi mutters but you, circus freaks, are still too busy going at each other’s wigs.
As he watches the huge mess in front of him, he thinks to himself what has he done in his past life to deserve all of this?
The rest of you leave Yoongi with no choice.
He doesn’t want to do it but if he has to then, so be it.
Yoongi yells at you guys for the first time in the entirety of their friendship. Of course, you’re not aware of that but still! An angwy Yoongi is a very scawy Yoongi.
ヾ(ー`ヘ´ー)ノ゙<---------- This is him, by the way. A very accurate representation, I must say. So angwy, much scawy!
In an instant, he’s gotten you all shut up and your full attention pointed towards him.
“I said, I have an idea.”
“You have one?? Why haven’t you said anything this entire time?”
Just like that, the rest of you urge him to continue cause time is ticking!
“So, you guys know how there’s this huge party going on at uTunes right now?”
“Alright, I’ma have to stop you there and say NOPE! Nuh uh. Not a good idea, hyung!” Namjoon quickly shuts him down.
“I hate to say it, but I agree with Namjoon here, bro.” Hoseok seconds it.
It sounds too risky and devious of a plan! They could get in serious trouble!
“I haven’t even said anything yet!”
“Hyung, you don’t have to. We all know what you’re trying to suggest is for us to somehow hijack that party and make it seem like we threw a huge one for Seokjin hyung.”
Ugh, why does Namjoon have to be so safe and boring and responsible and yada yada goody two shoes.
He does have a point that it’s not a good idea. But damn it, what other options are there??
Taehyung, aka Yoongi’s tag team partner from hell today, weighs the situation.
The slight glint in his eye is enough for Yoongi to know that he’s on board with this.
“Oh what the heck!” Taehyung finally concedes. “I say, let’s do it.”
“Tae, it won’t work.” Jimin presses on.
“Why not? Yoongi hyung works there! If he thinks we can pull it off then I do too.”
Namjoon, Jimin, Hoseok, and Jungkook still look unconvinced while you stare at Taehyung’s face, resisting this unexplainable intense urge to claw it out.
“Guys, come on! Are you all seriously gonna act like a puss— I mean, a bunch of cowards??”
For the full effect of things, Taehyung chooses to stand.
“Gentlemen!....and Y/n… I know that it’ll be difficult. But I believe in every single one of us and that if we all work together, we could do anything. Just think of it, if this is successful, it’ll go down in history as the greatest party heist ever! So who’s with me?!”
It took a few awkward seconds but Hoseok was the first to stand.
He puts his hand out and declares, “For our Seokjin hyung!”
Taehyung places his hand on top of Hoseok’s.
Next, Jungkook stands and adds his hand to the pile.
Jimin stands next.
Then Yoongi slowly stands with a huge shit eating amused grin on his face.
You feel like just riding this wave with them and not arguing so you followed everybody’s steps.
Everyone looks at Namjoon expectantly.
There’s no point in arguing with them anymore.
Namjoon rubs his face out of frustration but ultimately stands too.
Oh, the stupid and questionably illegal shit he does all for his friends.
“What the hell, sure. For Seokjin hyung!”
Yoongi can’t believe it.
He’s actually risking everything he’s worked hard for
If he gets in trouble and ultimately kills his own music career even before it begins, he'd be fine knowing it was all for his hyung's special birthday!
He's fucking kidding.
He's probably gonna sell himself to the Illuminati tbh.
Anyways, off to uTunes!!
Your group power walks there feeling so confident that you could probably take over even the entire mall tonight.
But like I mentioned earlier, everything is steadily going downhill now.
You all freeze as you arrive by the entrance, horrified with what you have to work with.
Is this for real???
"Ohhhhh that's why there seemed to be a baby blue motif and THAT'S what that weird fluffy looking alpaca was for!" Yoongi connects everything in his mind just now.
"Uh, hyung? Is this the party?" Hoseok asks for confirmation.
Maybe they're in the wrong uTunes?
Is there even another uTunes in this mall?
Hoseok's not sure but that huge "ᗯᗴᒪᑕOᗰᗴ, ᗷᗩᗷY ᗷOY!" banner doesn't seem right at all.
"A baby shower?? Really?" Even in your all time low, you manage to assess how much of a shit show this night is turning.
In Yoongi's defense, he wasn't aware that it was a baby shower! All he knew was "a party" and nothing more.
“Okay, fine! I must admit that the whole baby shower thing kinda complicates our situation.”
Having to lie and convince Seokjin is already one thing. But with this?
This puts everything on a much higher level of difficulty!
How are they supposed to pull everything off now?
“But we proceed as planned because we have no better choice!”
“I second that!” Taehyung declares. “Just act like you belong and try to get rid of any suspicious decorations.”
Yep. This is soooooooo fool proof.
But what the heck, you guys are already here so might as well just go with it and hope for the best.
While Jimin went to get Seokjin from the food court, the rest of you stayed to discreetly “rearrange” the decorations.
It’s a good thing that most decorations are just a bunch of generic blue balloons and flowers that could easily pass off for any type of party.
But of course, there are the occasional baby decors that’ll surely make the birthday boy confused as hell.
Like the miniature carriages that Hoseok finds after scurrying to the buffet table.
Then there’s that dedication book for guests, stationed at the entrance, that Namjoon is quick to shove in a plant box.
Taehyung, oh so boldly, pops a couple of those alpaca balloons and proceeds to act like he did nothing at all.
Jungkook somehow manages to transfer the pile of gifts under a nearby table.
After doing so, he sees you a few meters away from him looking quite suspicious with your bag slightly ajar.
He tilts his head to the side.
How interesting...
You swipe two pairs of tiny baby booties from a guest table then casually hide them in your bag.
Hold up
Are you?
He examines your next moves closely….
Lo and behold!
You go to a nearby table and pocket another pair of baby booties!
What could you possibly be doing now????
Jungkook strides towards you and grabs your bag.
You know what’s inside?
Ngl, he’s getting real tired of you.
And that’s a sentence he never thought he’d say about someone.
“What are you doing?” You have the audacity to ask him.
“What am I doing? What are you doing? Why are you stealing decorations??”
Why? Because the thought of babies and having one is suddenly really making you warm and funny inside.
But you keep that to yourself because blurting out to Jungkook that you suddenly want babies is awfully strange and quite creepy.
“Why not? They’re cute….” You coo instead with big bright eyes.
Something about this look makes Jungkook feel equally warm and funny inside.
Is this…..
Is this the same thing people feel whenever he uses his charmz™ on them?
He shakes the thoughts away from his head.
“Even so! It’s not free for you to take. Give me those!”
“Wait, Jungkook! No!”
Meanwhile, Yoongi scoops a bunch of dummies and rattles from a different table in his arms.
“Hey, what are you doing here?” A female voice comes from behind and it scares the shit out of him.
He yelps and jumps a teeny bit.
Who the fuck thinks they can scare Min Yoongi just like tha-Ohhhhhh
It’s her.
“Uh, hi Daphne!” He says, a bit too high of a pitch.
“I thought I heard you weren’t coming to the party?” She smiles that bright and warm smile that makes Yoongi want to yeet himself to the sun cause what even is the difference?
“I changed my mind! You know, I thought it would do me good to stay…” He states wanting real bad to scratch the back of his head (a habit he has when he’s nervous) but is unable to do so because of the weight on his arms.
Alright, PAUSE!
Everyone, it’s time for you to meet Daphne.
A few little details about her: she was an upperclassman of Yoongi back in uni and they share the same major. Oh, Yoongi also has a big ol’ embarrassing phat crush on her. If that wasn’t obvious enough. The guys don’t really know her because Yoongi likes to keep them away from each other.
Anyway, back to the current situation!
Daphne eyes the decorations on his arms quite warily. “What you got there?”
Quick! Think of something!
"Uh………....Would you believe that they forgot to decorate the buffet table?? I'm just on my way to put these there!" He says with a forced chuckle.
Wow, he's getting really good at this!
Lies seem to naturally and effortlessly come out of him.
And of course, she believes him.
"Oh, let me help you then!"
"UH,,,,,yOu knOw WHAT? Let me do that later….I actually have something to discuss with you! It's uh, a song I've beEn wOrking oN!"
Around 10 minutes later, a blindfolded Seokjin arrives at the door assisted by a nervous Jimin.
Namjoon spots them and immediately comes closer before anything bad happens.
As much as he wants to wait for the rest of you to greet Seokjin, he sees that you guys are too caught up right now.
You and Jungkook seem to be quarreling as he’s taking your bag from you for god knows what reason.
Hoseok’s at the buffet table getting “busy” with the snacks.
Taehyung is nowhere to be found.
And Yoongi is chatting it up with some chick.
Namjoon SWEARS
If they manage to get through this night unscathed, he’ll never question his friend’s ability to bullshit their way out ever again.
So much for “working together” as how Taehyung mentioned a while ago…. Oh well, here goes nothing! Hopefully, even outside of ICEA, the gods are on his side.
He takes off Seokjin’s blindfold and that is pretty much the point of no return.
The two younger lads happily greet him (In a discreet manner, of course! Wouldn’t wanna blow their cover in front of the passersby.)
Seokjin can’t believe what he’s seeing right now. Wow. Just, wow.
“No. Freaking. Way.” Seokjin slowly mutters, his eyes looking like saucers. “I heard there was a massive party here tonight but I didn’t think it was for me!”
He proceeds to eye everything around. From the decors, to the number of people.
“A-anything for you S-Seokjin hyung!” Jimin stutters, slowly coming to realise that it won’t be long before he breaks down from all this deception they’re doing to their dear old friend on a very special occasion! (Deep breaths and a whole lot of prayers for Jimin)
“But why here though? I didn’t know uTunes rents their place.”
They don’t. But that’s for him to hopefully not find out.
“Neither did we! But uh, Yoongi hyung said that we can and you’d never think of this place- you know what? Why don’t you just ask him yourself? I’m sure he can explain it better!” Namjoon passes the baton to an unknowing Yoongi.
Seokjin believes his half assed explanation and feels his heart grow twice the size. His friends really did go the extra mile for him, huh?
With that, he is left with nothing to do other than to squish them in a huge hug,
“And you guys got this many people to come?”
“What can we say? You’re a widely known guy across the mall! Right, Jimin?” Namjoon nudges him.
“Uh….Yeah ha ha. You are de-definitely loved by a lot! Yes, we invited all these people….For you AND for you only!!”
Namjoon is horrified by the awful way Jimin is presenting himself right now. Is he actively trying to sabotage them??
Thankfully, the birthday boy is too enraptured by everything to notice the tension floating around the other two.
“Uh, why don’t we try and find the others? I’m sure they’re all dying to see you!” Namjoon suggests which Seokjin merrily takes. He can’t wait to smother the others with his immense appreciation.
Namjoon spots Hoseok who still hasn’t left the buffet and pushes Seokjin in that direction.
When Seokjin is gone, he faces a wincing Jimin and says, “What has gotten into you??”
“Hyung! I don’t think I can take this much longer! This is too much for me. Can’t I please just go hide in the bathroom??” Jimin pleads.
“If I allow you then I’m afraid all of us would follow suit. You need to pull it together! Look at how happy Seokjin hyung is. We just need to stay for maybe an hour or so then we can figure out how to blow this party! C’mon Jiminie.”
Although it physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually pains him, Jimin gathers all the strength he can muster to pull through. It’s worth seeing Seokjin smile so much on his birthday, after all!
Somehow, someway, an hour passes by without Seokjin catching your ruse.
Unfortunately, you guys kept scattered around doing your own thang, whether it be “rearranging” the decorations, scarfing down free snacks, or arguing with each other.
As stressful as the whole thing is, it’s actually going pretty well.
Of course, there are a couple of hiccups along the way that almost revealed everything….
Like when Seokjin catches up with Hoseok and Yoongi at the buffet table.
Seokjin is so in awe at the "custom" chocolates laid out on a platter. But wait!
What's that? Are they?? Tiny...….baby blocks???? Is he seeing them correctly?
Before he gets to take a closer look at them, the two younger lads swiftly shove them all (yes, ALL) in their mouths.
"We're REALLY hungry…" Is the only thing they manage to say to which Seokjin plainly nods to.
Or when Seokjin accidentally bumps into this random guy and then proceeds to thank him for coming to the party.
“No problem, man. Wouldn’t miss something as precious as this. It only happens once in a while if you’re lucky.” The guy responds, much to Taehyung’s horror.
“If I’m lucky? What do you mean---”
Before Seokjin finishes his question, Taehyung spots a lonesome hot chick next to them.
Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Therefore, he r̶u̶d̶e̶l̶y̶ pulls her towards Seokjin.
“Hey there, pretty! Are you all by yourself?”
“Uh, well yeah...But I--”
“Great! Why don’t you accompany my good friend, Seokjin! He’s a really really nice guy!” He talks over her rapidly, brimming with enthusiasm.
Seokjin is speechless at this unexpected turn of events.
You see, Taehyung is normally against his thotty ways. Calls him a “bearer of communicable diseases” or some shit.
But now he’s introducing a random hot chick to him like an offering??
Boy, they really are making his birthday extra special!
How can he refuse?
So he puts on his smoldering w̶o̶r̶l̶d̶ mallwide handsome smirk that gets him all the ladies at his mercy.
The hot chick, straight away, gets enchanted by him and is left quite stunned by his beauty. (Like, duh, what did we expect?)
“How about we get some punch over there?”
“Sure. Punch, it is!”
“By the way, what’s your name?”
“It’s Daphne.”
“Oh, what a beautiful name! Totally fitting for a beautiful girl!”
…….Whatever you’re thinking, it’s correct.
That Daphne is the same Daphne of Yoongi…..
Told ya, it only goes down from here.
Meanwhile, you’re in a completely different situation with Jungkook.
Yes, you two are still bickering after all that. But you’ve moved on from the “swiping baby booties” sitch.
“Put the alpaca down.”
“Y/n, pleaseeeeeee!”
You run off carrying a stuffed alpaca wearing a red bandana.
Jungkook doesn’t even know where or how you got that stupid alpaca. He takes his eyes off of you for a second to relocate the booties you tried to steal, then suddenly you’re cuddling the soft plushie.
And he knows for a fact that you’re also conspiring to steal it. He can tell it with how you adoringly looked at him while nuzzling your nose against its fur.
You know whAt??
Jungkook doesn’t care anymore.
Yeah, that’s right! He’ll let you have your way if that’s what you so desire to do.
Thus, he shakes his head and sits at a random table nearby.
You’re a grown arse woman and you’re capable of making your own decisions. If you’re really adamant in stealing that stuffed animal then who is Jungkook to get in your way?
Even so, he keeps his eyes trained on you just to be sure….
You have now stopped running but you still have your back to him. Then his eyes slide down to your bum-nOT BECAUSE HE’S A CREEP, GOD NO!
But because he sees something in the middle of your bright yellow pants that shouldn’t be there.
You are busy ruffling the stuffed alpaca when you feel someone standing awfully close behind you, almost pressing up against you.
Facing the person, you see Jungkook with an alarmed look.
“Kook? What are you-” Jungkook cuts you off by holding both your arms to hold you in place, not allowing you to look back.
“Uh….Have you maybe sat on tomato sauce recently?”
“What? No! Why would you ask that?”
“.........Y/n, I think I see the Japanese flag on your bum.” Jungkook whispers and you instantly go cold.
Here it™ is! The guest has arrived, ladies!
But first of all, HOW could you already bleed through your pants if you just started?? You are wearing pantyliners! The flow must be that heavy.
With everything that’s been happening today, your mind and body seems to finally shut down. You seem to refuse to do anything other than to panic.
Which Jungkook can clearly spot considering how he can feel your heart rate spike by the second.
“Oh no. Oh NO NO NO NO…”
“Hey, it’s alright! It’s gonna be okay-don’t cry pLeaSe!!”
And of course, that didn’t stop you from crying. UGH GREAT! Now you’re crying again!
WhAT is he supposed to do now??
Across the room, Taehyung, who is now with Jimin, catches a glimpse of the two of you speeding through the exit.
“Was that….??” He asks Jimin to confirm that he did in fact just witnessed Jungkook fully attached to you.
“Uh huh.”
Noice noice noice.
He’s cool. He is tOtAlly nOt bothered or jealous about your growing closeness with the guys!
Why should he? I mean, he’s closer with them and that doesn’t seem to bother you even the slightest bit. Plus, he did introduce you to the guys because he needs and wants to! So don’t get the wrong idea that he’s being selfish and that all he wants to do right now is to run to you and drive you home and maybe bake with you and watch a movie with you and cuddle with you and stay up all night with you and just talk with you!
I repeat, Taehyung is not jealous.
“Hey, where the hell is Seokjin hyung??” An aggravated Yoongi comes closer with an equally aggravated Hoseok and Namjoon in tow.
“We don’t know.”
“What do you mean you ‘don’t know’?? Weren’t you just with him a few minutes ago?” Namjoon points his full attention to Taehyung.
“Well, yeah. But I sent him off with some hot chick. Don’t worry, it seems like the perfect distraction!”
“Hold on, hold on!” Yoongi raises one finger. “What you’re saying is that you left him to his own devices? In a party that he thinks is for him? When it’s not for him???”
Okay, now that he thinks about it, Taehyung sees that he might have done goof. And he means, royally goofed.
“Dude! Why’d you do that? We need to find him asap before he totally finds out about our ruse and totally disowns us for like, life!” Even Hoseok is now panicking.
“And where the hell are the two other kids??”
While they’re busy panicking, the MC gets on stage and announces that it’s time for the guest of honour to say a few words to everyone who has shown up.
Now, of course Seokjin thinks that the MC is pertaining to him. How could he not? He is the birthday boy and this is supposed to be his party.
So with his full chest, two feet wide shoulders, and humongous head, he sashays up to the stage.
Hoseok is the first one to notice this.
“Uh, dudes….I have found Seokjin hyung.”
A stunned Hoseok points a shaky finger towards the stage.
The other four crane their heads to where he is pointing and true enough, there he is up on stage, inching towards the MC.
“Woah woah woah, why blame me when little miss sunshine over here just had to go all good samaritan on Seokjin hyung!”
With the four men openly arguing in front of all these people and Seokjin unwittingly subjecting himself to utter embarrassment, Jimin comes to the conclusion that he's had the final straw!
Can you blame him? His sweet like sugar soul is too pure for all this fraudulence. He can only take so much treachery in one day.
So, while everyone is preoccupied, he quietly skedaddles to the exit and makes a run to fINALLY hide in the bathroom.
Meanwhile, an innocent Seokjin grabs the microphone then stands centre stage to make his speech.
Well, no going back now.
“Hey guys! Fantastic party tonight!” Seokjin says to the mic.
Although the crowd is confused as to who this random guy is, they still respond enthusiastically because it is a wonderful party after all.
“Quick, it’s not too late. Make a distraction!” Taehyung tugs Yoongi’s arm desperately.
“Why me??”
“Because clearly, you’re the mastermind here!”
Unfortunately for them, he’s all out of ideas that wouldn’t result in someone hurting themselves or him getting fired.
“I have a couple of people to thank for this amazing party! First of all, I’d like to thank my own mother for giving me my precious life. As my new best friend, Y/nie, mentioned, our mothers have seriously sacrificed their life for us to be born so please never forget that! Speaking of her, where is she?”
The rest of the boys silently curse you for not being here to witness this.
……….Maybe they should follow in your footsteps and leave as well?
“Uhhh how about one of us should fake epilepsy?”
“No one is epileptic among us!” Namjoon rolls his eyes hard at Hoseok’s ridiculous suggestion.
“Emphasis on the word ‘fake’, bro!”
“Next, I’d like to thank the rest of my friends for making this the most enjoyable birthday ever! You guys are the mvp! And lastly, I’d like to thank every single person who came on this wonderful night. I really really appreciate it!”
When Seokjin finished his speech, the entire uTunes became silent. You could drop a pin and you’ll surely hear it hit the ground.
Then one dude breaks the silence.
“Dude who the hell are you?!”
The guy who yelled stuns Seokjin. Is he for real??
“Uh, kind sir, I’m the birthday boy! And this is-“
The microphone gets snatched from his clutches even before he gets to finish his sentence.
Beside him, stands the manager of uTunes and the actual guest of honour.
“Security, get this gate crasher out of my baby shower!” She mutters into the mic with the utmost fury.
“Gate crasher??” He looks for his friends in the crowd but all he sees is Namjoon’s bright ICEA uniform dashing out of the store.
Then it hits him.
“This isn’t my party?!”
“Of course not!” The uTunes manager scoffs just as security comes to collect Seokjin.
Seokjin is like ( -_・)?
What sort of MTV Punk’d shenanigan is this?
“Guards, escort this man out!”
“Uh, no need for that lady.” Seokjin proclaims before two securities get a hold of him.
“And why’s that?”
Seokjin takes a few baby steps back then he, too, makes a run for it.
His head is filled with so many thoughts right now that he doesn’t make much out of what the manager shouts at him as he leaves the shop.
He thinks he’s probably banned from uTunes now but oh well! He has some bigger fish to fry at the moment.
He just- he can’t believe it! His friends downright lied to him!
Meanwhile, on his way to the bathroom, Jimin bumps into you and Jungkook.
You now have Jungkook’s hoodie tied around your waist much to Jimin’s curiosity but he brushes it off.
“Jimin, what’s wrong? Why do you look like you’re running for your life right now?”
Maybe because he is.
“Uhh, Seokjin hyung…..He kinda….WELL I’m not entirely sure since I fled but I think that maybe…..just maybe-”
“Oh please just spit it out and save us from the suspense!”
“Alright! He might have found out about the plan.”
“HE WHAT?” You and even Jungkook practically scream out.
Jimin flinches but carries on with explaining, “Well, someone asked the guest of honour to come up on stage and of course he thought it was him!”
“And none of you were able to stop him?” Jungkook asks to which Jimin shakes his head.
“Then we need to go back and help the others with this mess!” You press on.
To which Jimin also shakes his head. (Severely shakes his head to be more accurate.)
“No please, you don’t understand! I think I’m going to be sick. I can’t handle going back there AT ALL.” Jimin begs as he’s halfway to kneeling.
But you and Jungkook are not having it.
You care about Jimin’s pure heart but in this situation, you guys just can’t abandon ship.
So you and Jungkook grab each of Jimin’s arms and run back to where uTunes is.
“Y/n, Jungkook, I beg of you! I don’t want to go back!”
“Hyung, it’s for the best! We’re part of this mess so we have to help fix it-oOF”
The three of you were going too fast that when you went around a corner, you collided with a bunch of people. Unfortunately, these people were going a hundred miles per hour too so the impact was powerful enough for both groups to topple to the ground.
“Owww I think I felt all my insides press to my back!”
“I think I felt my soul leave my body.”
“You have a soul, hyung?”
Huh, those voices sound familiar to you.
You look up to see that the other group you crashed into are Taehyung, Namjoon, Hoseok, and Yoongi.
Namjoon looks up to meet eyes with you.
“Hey! There you guys are! Where have you been?!”
Taehyung shoves Yoongi off of him and sits up to fiercely point a finger towards the three of you.
“You guys completely abandoned us! What happened to ‘working together’, huh?”
“Oh, enough with your teamwork bullcrap. We were all off doing our own things for the most part, including you!” Namjoon interjects.
“Yeah, no wonder our plan failed miserably.”
“Shut it. Your plan for the party heist was doomed from the start!”
“Well all of you agreed to it anyway! And at least I stuck to it and didn’t choke up unlike other people.”
“Y/n and I didn’t desert you, guys! We had to leave because she had an emergency. A ‘lady emergency’!”
“I just have had it up to here with your ‘lady problems’! If you weren’t so difficult, things could’ve been so easy and we wouldn’t have had to waste time to get you various products a while ago!”
“Yeah, to be fair Namjoon hyung’s got a point.”
*Double gasp*
“Is it really that difficult to suck it up and work with us for a few hours?”
*Triple Gasp*
“How could you guys say all that? That is not how periods work, you apathetic meatheads!!”
“Well, well, well. What do we have here?”
The seven of you cease fire and freeze to the sound of a new voice.
It was obviously Seokjin’s but you pray to the gods that it might be someone else or maybe, all of you have finally gone insane and are hearing things. 🤡🤡🤡
But alas, you look up to see him standing a few feet away looking quite amused and disappointed.
“Is someone gonna tell me what this ‘party heist’ thing is about and whose party did we just go to?”
Namjoon, being the responsible one of the bunch, stepped up to give a very detailed itemised list of what’s been happening since this morning. Of course he didn’t leave out your period problems which you’re surprised to find out that he completely blames for the demise of Seokjin’s party,
Seokjin remains having a poker face the entire time so none of you could really gauge what’s going on in his head.
“So let me get this straight,” Seokjin starts, looking very stern. “You guys went up and beyond with this crazy elaborate plan to hijack a grand party, risk getting caught, and quite possibly get in a buttload of trouble all for me?”
Now that he says it, it feels even more stupid and embarassing to admit your crimes. But you did anyway.
“Yes..” You collectively admit to him, heads full of shame.
Seokjin goes silent. For like a long time and at this rate, none of you would even be surprised if he disowns all of you.
But then he starts cracking up with his signature laugh echoing through the mall corridor.
This lack of negative reaction from him leaves the 7 of you feeling very uneasy. He must be absolutely taking the piss off of your idiocy.
“Isn’t this just really brilliant of you, guys!
“We know that we fucked up but do you really have to be this sarcastic about it?” Yoongi says.
“Who says I’m being sarcastic? I’m actually genuinely impressed right now.”
He’s impressed by this mess?? Well, isn’t this just mind boggling.
If you weren’t friends with everyone and if you weren’t in this too deep, you would’ve bolted out of the scene right now.
“Wait, you’re not mad?” Jimin voices out the one question running in all of your heads.
“Uh, no. Why would I be?”
Why would he be mad? WHY WOULD HE BE MAD??? Is he for real right now? You guys just made his birthday even more awful and he’s here asking “whY wOuLd hE bE mAd?!”
“WhY would you be mad?” Taehyung asks Seokjin then looks at the rest of you, “WHY would he be mad at us?! Hahahahahahahaha.”
Taehyung is about to ascend to heaven (or let’s be real, descend to hell) with the amounts of stress he’s been subjected to in the last few hours.
“Is that a serious question? Cause I think I’m a breath away from really spiraling down right now.”
Namjoon rubs his temples and adds, “Uhh, not to be mean or anything but haven’t you been paying attention to what we’ve caused this evening?”
“Yeah, dude! It’s been one heck of an absolute shit show.”
“Shhh!! Shut up, you idiots! Our asses are saved. He says he’s fine with everything so why are you all complaining?”
“Guys, calm down!” Seokjin cuts in. “Yes, it was obviously a really messy situation. I mean, damn that was what all 7 of your heads can come up with? Like, wow you guys are just the absolute shit at planning. I have more creative and foolproof ideas in my left ball sack than-”
“Hyung, we get it. We’re disgraceful. Can you just get to your point, please?”
“MY POINT IS,” Seokjin continues, almost forgetting that he’s trying to reassure his friends and not roasting them.
“In the years we’ve known each other, this is probably the most you guys have gone through for me! Although absolutely terrible, I appreciate the effort from all of you. None of you really needed to do anything for my birthday anyway so anything is better than what I usually get.”
“But we wanted to make it special for you so you could finally appreciate your own birthday.”
“Yeah, what Jimin said. After all, your birthday is supposed to be a special day.” You state, remembering your explanation about birthdays this morning.
“And I’m thankful to all of you for thinking about me! I did have fun tonight and a little sprinkle of drama is always good in my book.”
“A little sprinkle of drama” is surely putting it nice and easy for you but if your asses are saved right now, then you’ll gladly take it!
“Besides, I just scored myself a date this weekend with this super hot chick! So really, it turned out quite well if I do say so myself.”
“So just to be thoroughly clear here, you are 100% not enraged with what we did?” Namjoon asks for clarification.
Seokjin scrunches his brows together and scratches his chin as if deep in thought of what he’ll answer.
“Hyung, please!”
“Alright, alright! No, I’m not. You guys can breathe now!”
“OH THANK GOD, I THINK I AGED 10 YEARS IN LESS THAN 2 HOURS.” Taehyung proclaims out loud then proceeds to envelop the person next to him in a bone crushing hug out of relief.
(Said person is Yoongi who is now entirely repelled from the sudden physical contact.)
The rest of you finally let your shoulders drop from feeling the weight of the entire world upon it the entire night.
To be completely honest, everyone was full on expecting a long and pointed speech from Seokjin about how he can’t believe his own friends would be willing enough to fool him. You know you would do that if you were him.
But then again, let us remember that Seokjin is, but of course, a dramatic person. He lives and breathes for chaos. So maybe, a part of you should’ve seen this particular reaction coming from him.
“Okay, so…...Are we good here?” Yoongi asks, obviously wanting to just leave. He’s been ready to call it quits for the day since….well since he woke up tbh.
“Not so fast! I think all of you owe someone else an apology.”
“Apology? For who?”
Seokjin grabs your arm and pulls you towards him.
“Yes, her!”
From the back, Jungkook squeeks out a quiet “Yeah, we do.” that everyone misses.
“I don’t know much of what’s been happening between Y/n and the rest of you but from what I’ve heard, it seems like you guys haven’t been taking care of my little sweetheart over here.”
“HeY we took care of her! We bought her care packages! That was the main reason we weren’t able to do our tasks! Honestly, did you really not listen to my explanation a while ago?”
wE bOuGht hEr CaRe pAcKaGeS
You’ve got Jungkook (AND only Jungkook) to thank for that. Besides, as if they didn’t give out upsetting ignorant comments to you!
“To be fair,” Someone clears their voice from the back.
Everyone’s head snaps towards the sound of Jungkook’s voice.
“You guys have a very badly twisted perception of how periods work.”
What is this? Jungkook standing up? For you??
“It’s not something you should just brush to the side. You can’t possibly boss and nag her around and expect her to act as if she’s fine. She’s already had it bad, the least we can do is be nice to her. Imagine being in her shoes.”
Try as they can imagine, they’ll never be able to because they have no clue what it would feel like to get their period. They are a bunch of men anyways.
But if Jungkook is out here doing the most in defending you then maybe the guys really were awful towards you.
“And you,” Jungkook looks at you. “Don’t you think you were also being a little too overbearing with the guys? I mean, they’re not at all used to this.”
Well, you are quite aware that you’ve been acting quite hideously but can they blame you?
“I didn’t mean to act up on you guys. I just- I’m really sorry. I can’t help myself but be all moody!”
For the nth time today, you start sniffling and within seconds, you’re crying again.
“Oh no no no.” Jimin moves closer to you first and wraps his arms around you. This time, you finally accept his show of affections. “We’re sorry, Y/n. Like what Kook said, we’re not used to this. It’s always been just the seven of us.”
“Yeah, we’re really sorry. We promise we’ll be a lot more considerate the next time you get your period.” Namjoon declares and you take note in your head to hold this against him in the future. Out of all of them, he’s certainly climbing to the top of your hit list next to Taehyung.
“And I guess we’ll try to not be weird about it too.” Yoongi adds.
Namjoon, Hoseok, and Jungkook come up to you and join in on the hug. Taehyung joins in, too, a few seconds later even though he doesn’t really have much to apologise for. Then, Seokjin gets pulled in because he needs a hug as well after tonight.
Yoongi just hangs back with his arms folded and this scene is quite reminiscent of when you took the public bus the first time to work.
“Hyung, aren’t you gonna join in?” Hoseok asks Yoongi.
Yoongi snorts at that. “Is that a trick question? I mean, honestly! Do none of you still not know how much I don’t like--”
Yoongi stops babbling the moment you pop your head out from the confines of the six significantly taller men that are engulfing you. You flash him a really really miserable look that you know no one, not even him, could withstand.
“Really?? You’re going to hit me with a Puss in Boots look?”
To drive your point even further, you widen your eyes and jut your lower lip even more.
“Okay, okay! SHEESH. I’ll hug you just stop looking like a sad puppy guilt tripping me to adopt them!”
And with that, he also joins in on the group hug uNeNtHuSiAsTiCaLlY. He feels like he’s being forced to do something despicable by a bunch of kidnappers but oh well! If it’ll wipe that fugly look on you.
It’s not because he secretly loves these types of affections and it’s irrefutably not because his heart ached while looking at your tear filled eyes, okay???
“Thanks, guys. I truly appreciate all of this. You know, I think that as a society we should really start talking about how debilitating periods can be.”
Your comment receives nothing but silence and owlish blinks from the guys.
“Uhhhh….Yeah, sure. Whatever you say, princess.”
“Maybe we should make this into an emergency code.” Seokjin whispers to Namjoon.
“Oh, for real.”
Okay, this is gonna take some time to get used to. The guys definitely need to ask Jungkook for a crash course on how to handle menstruating ladies once you’re not around.
I mean, are they gonna have to start carrying tampons and pads for you from now on? How does one even know which one to buy? WAIT…..Are they going to have to know what puthy size you have? 👀👀👀👀👀👀
Is that a thing to consider with these things?
“Now that the drama’s over, I just had an idea! Why don’t we head to my place and order pizza? I downloaded the entire Shrek series yesterday and I’m severely itching to see Prince Charming-I mean FAIRY GODMOTHER.” Taehyung suggests.
“You know what? That sounds really incredible for me right now!”
“Yeah! Let’s go!”
Wait a dang minute……
Did Taehyhung really just suggest a movie marathon with pizza?
And did the guys agree with him??¿
Hoseok is absolutely gobsmacked.
That particular suggestion is….
Actually great?!
“How did I not think of that myself? Tae, that’s an amazing idea!”
The 8 of you head to Taehyung’s small and dingy apartment to have a chill yet enjoyable time because let’s be real, it’s clearly what all of you need after a long and dramatic day.
In the end, Seokjin did have an unforgettable birthday just like promised.
So to conclude this episode:
All the guys (apart from Seokjin and Yoongi who seems to be an expert at it at this point) are not capable of telling lies and pulling through with it.
Yoongi didn’t manage his night routine but that’s okay since he saw Daphne extra longer today and he even got to talk to her.
Daphne, unbeknownst to her, might be the cause of an unexpected brewing rivalry between Yoongi and Seokjin….To be continued in the future.
Seokjin is “getting old” but can still definitely “get it” easily as seen today.
Namjoon is SERIOUSLY glad that he doesn’t have a girlfriend (he says as he gets under his blanket, puts on Love Actually, and cries while eating ice cream)
Hoseok’s aerobics class is always open for new members if ever your grandparents are interested in getting their hips back in shape.
Taehyung is starting to feel like he’s not a main character tbh and might need a word with the author...
Jimin, for the rest of the holiday season, overthinks his morals with all the scamming they’ve been doing and slowly but surely, inadvertently gets himself sick.
Jungkook is the period whisperer and can surprisingly rise to the occasion when needed.
The guys are now adding “Hurricane Y/N” to their endless list of emergency codes as Code 666 and they also got enlightened that you should NOT ask for a lady’s puthy size when buying pads or tampons.
Now they’re trying to figure out the mystery of what’s the best kind to use. Super? Slender? Overnight? Scented? Maxi? Mini? With wings? Without wings? Scented? Unscented? With an applicator? Without an applicator? Period cup? Reusable pads?? WHY ARE THERE SO MANY KINDS???? AND WHY WERE THESE NEVER THOUGHT TO THEM IN SCHOOL?!
Lastly, your period (while remains quite violent and temperamental) has gotten tremendously much bearable and it will stay like that for the succeeding months :’)
@loveyoongles @sonderkook @thequeen-kat @itsfeliciatime @louisavuittonswrld @danny-boy27​
Let me know if you want to be added!
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meiadore · 16 days ago
namjoon: you really shouldn’t use that straw
jungkook: true, i know it’s bad for the environment or something
namjoon: it’s also just a really weird way to eat spaghetti
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hopelxlydxvted · 16 days ago
help why did they just watch him 😭 and jk rlly said i pretend i do not see
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btsthinker · 20 days ago
fan behavior
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part 9 >> part 10
pairing: gamer!jungkook x gamer!reader (female reader)
summary: y/n is a famous twitch streamer, while a fan account on stan twitter who goes by “jk” hopes to get his favorite content creator’s attention. but here’s the catch—he’s also a huge figure in the gaming community just like her, but instead of “jk,” he’s called jeon jungkook. besides a couple of his friends, nobody knows he’s behind the stan account, and he intends to keep it that way.
anyways just wanted to clarify that jungkook has 3 accounts; his main, stan acc, and his private acc in which where he talks ab yn an embarrassingly amount so he doesn't want her to know about it LMFAO
anyways yall think this voice changer thing will work or is he finally gonna get exposed?? find out soon hehe
taglist is open! send an ask (or comment!) if u want to be tagged <3
if u send an ask or comment ab being in the taglist and i didnt reply im so sorry!! i got ur @ here but I was too overwhelmed to reply lol
@somelazysundays @sugasmind @h0babie @tae165 @infernal-alpaca @unicornbabylover @maggiexxk @becomingbts @purpletaecup @ddummbbass @ambivalentragdoll @jiminho-s @lilacdreams-00 @min-yus @crewzie-chan @lochness-butmakeitsexy @lesyeuxdeyifei @starzalign @echointhelibrary @hereforaus @yutaeminnie @finelinememories
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