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#yoongi crack au
muniimyg · 1 year
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YOUR UNIVERSE // MYG
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in which min yoongi refuses to lose you
regretting rejecting oc, min yoongi goes through a circus load of gestures and tasks in attempt to be loved again
navi | m. list | ask me ! | send an ask to be on the taglist ! i will not be responding to taglist requests anywhere else !
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pairings:
basketball captain // tsundere yoongi + sunshine // preschool edu major oc
au/genre:
friends to lovers 
uni au
one sided pining / rejection / redemption / a sad excuse of a slow burn
smut, crack, angst
social media au + written
warnings:
implied + actual smut
angst (oc is heartbroken and trying to move on from being initially rejected)
name calling, love/hate friendships, big egos, overprotective friends, childish social culture, and a burnt out era <3 
parts:
30/30 ( completed 03/04/2023 )
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index # youniverse myg
00 | intro
01 | like a loser
02 | coincidence
03 | booboo
04 | not my girl ✒️
05 | no
06 | behave 
07 | valentine 
08 | winners and losers 
09 | downbad era
10 | especially you 
11 | support 
12 | three for three ✒️
13 | dangle 
14 | for my ace :)
15 | please 
16 | baby 
17 | aki & ace 
18 | benched 
19 | promise 
20 | you’re mine 
21 | until then 
22 | maybe ✒️
23 | no loyalty 
24 | shit ✒️
25 | pu$$y fairy 
26 | fight 
27 | earth 
28 | orbit ✒️
29 | nothing/everything 
30 | about you ✒️
epilogue
+ extra ! new ace (2)
+ extra ! jealousy (3)
+ extra ! babies (4)
+ extra ! in our forever (5)
+ extra ! first kiss (1)
end.
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copyright © 2023, muniimyg on tumblr.  
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serenecypher · 1 month
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Bangtan Host Club Chapter Two
Genre: BTS Ot7xf!Reader, Poly!AU, Fluff, Romance, Crack-ish, Eventual Smut.
W/C: 3303
Summary: Tired of your boring mundane life? Become an exclusive member of The Bangtan Host Club™ today and let 7 charming men help you out.
Warnings: This chapter is rated PG13, but future chapters may include Mature Themes. The only real warning is Taekook being general menaces lol.
Disclaimer: Please do not copy/translate or cross-post my work. The tag list is open. Just DM or send an ask to be included.
A/N: Thank you for giving so much love to chapter one. I hope you all enjoy Chapter 2 as well! 💜 I am honestly really enjoying writing this too. Any and all feedback is greatly appreciated. See you soon with Chapter 3!! 🎀
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Chapter 1 << Chapter 2 >> Chapter 3
Jungkook holds the door to the lobby of your apartment building open for you, smiling down at you impishly as you brush past him, thanking him coyly. Once everyone is indoors, Jimin is the first to speak.
“Wait, there must be a supply closet here. Namjoon Hyung, come with me. We should get the tools we need for this little project.” He shifts his stern gaze onto Taehyung and Jungkook as he directs them to keep you company up the stairwell. “Play nice, you two. We’ll be there in no time.” 
Taehyung makes a face at this before shrugging. “We are always nice, isn’t that so Kookie?” he winks at Jungkook, who looks away from Taehyung… almost bashfully. Taehyung smiles in what seems like adoration before he turns to you. His smile turns a little playful as he nudges your shoulder with his. “Don’t you wanna take us to your place, pretty girl?”
Jimin audibly sighs before he shoots you a gentle smile. “Like I said, be there soon.” He waves at you and walks down the corridor toward the back of the building, Namjoon following behind him wordlessly. You gesture for Taehyung and Jungkook to follow you with a tilt of your head and turn toward the stairs leading up to your floor. 
You trudge up the stairs first, followed closely by the two men. You’ve just about climbed five steps when suddenly you hear snickering behind you. You stop in your tracks and turn around, slightly agitated. Jungkook and Taehyung are close behind you, walking hand in hand. Jungkook stares up at you and blinks his eyes in curiosity. “Why’d you stop?”  
“Nothing.” you mutter as you quickly glance away from them and look ahead at the concrete stairs like they have something important to tell you. Even though there are sounds of muffled giggles and murmurs of protest behind you, you keep your eyes straight ahead as you climb the stairs of the two floors. You walk up to your apartment door and slump your back against the hardwood. 
Just as you turn around, Taehyung finds your eyes to rest his on. He takes one two three steps and he is standing right in front of you. He places his elbow behind you and leans into your space, his eyes trained on yours as he huffs out in amusement. “You are really pretty, you know…” his voice comes out deeper than before and his eyes fall to your lips, catching the way your tongue peeks out to wet them nervously. 
“Thanks” you manage to say meekly under the intensity of his burning gaze which is instantly acknowledged by a deep hum from him. Then, you feel skin brush against your knuckles, and you look down to find Jungkook’s long tattooed fingers slotting against yours. You look up and you feel something in your chest flutter to find Jungkook and Taehyung looking at each other. 
“Have you forgotten about me, Hyung?” Jungkook says, and his voice betrays a sense of hurt that is easy to catch. You have never seen a man resembling a kicked puppy like this before. Taehyung, to his credit, looks affronted by this accusation as he shifts his attention to Jungkook, a rueful smile plastered on his lips. 
“Kookie, I couldn’t forget you if I tried.” he sighs deeply, shaking his head. Just as Jungkook breathes a sigh of relief, Taehyung continues, once again looking at you, “But she is just so beautiful, she is latching on to all my thoughts.”
Your eyebrows reflexively shoot up to your hairline at his declaration. You feel confused and yet somehow flattered  and it only gets harder to articulate your emotions as Jungkook leans into you, resting his head on your shoulder as he solemnly speaks more to himself than anyone else at this point, “I really can’t argue with that.”
Your heart squeezes in your chest but the spell these two seem to place you under twice in the span of a mere hour is broken again by the sound of Jimin clearing his throat. You watch as the sullen expression on Taehyung’s face gives way to a playful pout as he childishly whines to you before pulling away from your space. “Sorry, pretty girl. The party has to be rescheduled.”
You feel more than hear what seems like a breath of a chuckle from Jungkook as he picks his head up from where it had been resting on your shoulder and moves a bit to his left, away from you. He crosses his arms over his chest and smirks at your shocked expression.
“Got the tools.” Jimin says calmly, choosing to completely ignore whatever was going on before he got here. Namjoon gives you a nod too as he approaches the door, holding a yellow toolbox that should be average-sized but looks comically small in his hands. He places it on the floor in front of you and tilts his head at your figure that is still pressed against your door.
It takes you a moment but you manage to compose yourself enough to understand what he means. “Oh yeah, sorry.” you grumble as you feel heat rush the back of your neck, only worsened when you see Jungkook snicker and poke Taehyung’s side, jerking his chin in your direction, definitely noticing your embarrassed state. 
Namjoon gets to work on your Europa lock without another word, carefully twisting the metal with some pliers from the inside. Jimin, meanwhile, is regarding you with curiosity and you know he is trying to figure something out about you. 
“Do you live alone on this floor?” Even though the question is directed at you, his gaze sweeps across the corridor where the door to another apartment is. 
“No, I have a neighbor. An old lady. She is really sweet but she is away for a few days.” you answer easily, pointing in the direction he is looking at already. 
“Hmm.” is all he has to add before looking at you again. You can tell Jimin is not being as pleasant to you as he was earlier. There is a sharpness in his eyes now as he regards you. You can’t help but feel intimidated by him and you don’t particularly enjoy his sudden coldness. You decide not to think about it too much and just chalk it up to him not being a big fan of wasting this much of his time helping a stranger he just met. What else could it possibly be?
“What do you do for work?” Jimin asks again, abruptly. 
“I am a project manager at LinkSol.” 
“LinkSol, as in LinkSol by Hwan Sana?” 
“That’s the one. Have you worked there before?” you ask, trying to make this interaction between the two of you feel more conversational and less like an interrogation. However, Jimin tilts his head at you as if your question doesn’t make any sense to him. Even Jungkook snickers from where he has been observing the two of you.
“No, I have not worked at LinkSol. I have been an acquaintance of Ms. Sana for some time now, though.” Jimin explains with a shrug of his shoulders. You watch as his eyes take the liberty of regarding your entire figure. Then with a sudden jerk, his gaze jumps up to your face as if he has caught whatever it was he had been looking for and an amused smile forms on his lips. He is about to say something when his phone starts buzzing incessantly in his jeans pocket. He gives a sideways jerk of his neck as he pulls his phone out with a grin.
“Done.” Namjoon’s smooth voice announces as he pushes the door handle and opens the front door to your apartment.
Glee washes over you in waves as you rush into your apartment. God, you could just roll up into bed right now and have the deepest sleep of your life. Unfortunately, you are once again reminded of your unexpected guests and their kindness when Jimin’s voice breaks you out of your reverie. 
“Jin Hyung is calling us all back.” he says and you hear someone, probably Taehyung, groan at the information. Then Jimin’s head peeks around the door of your apartment and he gives you a dazzling smile. “You too. He said something about you forgetting your coat. He seems really forlorn from the sounds of it.”
“Let me get my keys this time.” you say as you walk towards your TV console and pocket the keys, coming back out the door and closing it behind you. Namjoon looks at you with a small shy smile, his dimples making an appearance and you are cruelly reminded of how you never even thanked him. 
“Thank you guys so much. I am so grateful to all of you.” You bite your lip shyly as you look at the four beautiful men standing outside your humble apartment. Namjoon looks down at his feet, and Jimin waves a hand in the air to dismiss the whole thing. 
“No need to thank us, yet. Let us take you back and you can finish all those cookies you ordered from Hobi Hyung.” He places his hand on your back to guide you back down the stairs. There is a sense of excitement in his actions that does not go amiss by you. Just moments ago it felt like he was scrutinizing you and yet now it feels like he is overjoyed at the idea of taking you back to the cafe and as you walk down the familiar staircase for the second time that evening, you wonder what it is that he seems to have gathered from you. 
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When you reach the cafe again, it seems livelier. There are other customers inside, ordering drinks and engaging in conversations at various tables in small groups. In fact, as you slowly realize, it seems like the tables are set up in a way that one of the employees are at the center, addressing and chatting with multiple customers at a time. Jimin takes your hand and guides you over to the table where Seokjin is surrounded by about eight people. His eyes meet yours as you take the chair pulled back by Jimin and he gives you a dashing smile. “I thought you’d forgotten all about me, princess.” he coos and you feel the familiar flutter of your heart in your chest.
“Her jacket is what she forgot, I heard.” Jungkook sing-songs as he brushes past you toward the table beside yours, where Taehyung is already seated, surrounded by some people and chatting with them, all smirks and winks. 
Seokjin scowls at Jungkook momentarily before regaining his composure and smiling at the table again. “Either way, it does not matter, for you have found your way back to me again and I couldn’t be happier.” he punctuates the end of his sentence with a flying kiss directed at you. The other people at the table sigh longingly at him.
Okay. This whole thing is starting to feel a bit off to you. That’s an awfully romantic thing to say to someone you just know the name of, right? Someone you just met no longer than an hour ago? And what’s with the swooning? Sure, Seokjin is really handsome and charming, but to hang on to all of his words with such reverence? Maybe you are just too tired to understand all of this. Deciding that you should take yourself back home and sleep the weariness off, you stand up from the table, ready to go. 
“Thank you guys for everything. I would like to go home now, um, where can I find my coat again?” you ask Seokjin who looks brazenly offended like you’d hurt his pride but, nonetheless, points to a door beside the entrance of the cafe. “Right there, angel.”
You nod and hightail it away from the table. Your eyes meet the cute barista from earlier who waves at you enthusiastically. You feel fondness churn your heart and you wave back at him. You twist the door handle to the coat closet and smack your head right against a person, knocking them and yourself off balance. The sudden inertia brings out a yelp from you. You feel strong arms snaking around your waist and holding you against the chest of the person who has acted as a cushion against your fall. They let out a muffled groan from under you when they fall on their ass, their arms still holding you safely. 
“Oh my god, I am so sorry.” You say and try to get up from your place on the floor far too quickly but your arms are entangled with the person below you, making you slump right back on top of them. 
“Patience.” says a deep voice from below you. The arms loosen from their previous position around your waist and instead, hands press against your sides, gently pushing you upward. You press your knees against the hardwood floor as you push your hands against the sides of their shoulders. How dark it is in here is not helping you in any way either. Once sufficiently distanced from the person below you, you look up to find a pair of beautiful, sharp, feline-like eyes staring at you. Even though it is dark you can make out the silhouette of a black mask covering the lower half of their face. 
“Are you okay?” a man’s voice asks you and you pull back further now sitting on your knees as you rub along your left elbow, only out of nerves. 
“I am fine. Are you?!” you ask, your voice pitching with concern. You would be so embarrassed if this person injured themselves while saving you from falling because you were too busy gawking at the barista. You will never show your face at this establishment again.
“Probably nothing too bad.” he says nonchalantly as he sits up as well. “Yoongi.” he extends his hand to you, “And you?”
You take his hand in yours to shake and give him your name. Slowly, the two of you stand up again and try to find your bearings in the dark. As your eyes slowly adjust to the dark further, you notice that Yoongi is wearing some sort of large coat that is shaped more like a cloak. “Wait,” he says and presses the button behind you on the wall, turning the lights on. 
You squint your eyes from the sudden burst of light and catch a flash of pale skin as Yoongi quickly puts his hands inside the pockets of his coat-cloak. You notice he is wearing an entirely black ensemble, with a black mask over his mouth and a black hood pulled over his head. He regards you with the same feline-like eyes that you had been able to catch the intensity of even in the dark. 
“People do not usually come in here.” he says with a questioning furrow of his brows.
Before you can answer him the door is pushed open again and Hoseok is clinging to your back. 
“I heard a loud thud! Are you both okay?! I got so worried!” he spits out the words rapidly, concern evident in his slightly trembling voice.
“We’re fine, Hoba.” Yoongi answers for both of you and you feel Hoseok rubbing his head into your shoulder as he nods. Gently, he lets go of you and steps back.
“That’s good.” he chirps up the next moment and links his pinky with yours. “What are you doing here anyway?” 
“Seokjin told me I can find my coat here, I was just leaving.” you tell him and remind yourself.
This seems to sour Hoseok’s mood. He pouts at you adorably. Seriously, how can a grown man be this precious? 
“We haven’t even played together!” he whines and bats his eyelashes at you. You feel a compelling urge to coo at him but you choose to suppress it. Instead, you put your hand in his soft blonde hair and ruffle them slightly.
“I am sorry. I kinda just wanna go home and sleep. It has been a long day.” You say and spot your coat neatly hung from a coat rack behind Yoongi. You take the coat off the rack and wear it snugly.
“Aw, you didn’t even enjoy the sweets with me. I would have loved to eat them with you.” Hoseok pouts even more and adds a small sniffle that you immediately recognize as an act of dramatic effect.
“Is it only the sweets you want me for?” you playfully chide him. His adorable pout gives way to a mischievous grin as he giggles and hugs himself to you again, hiding his face on your shoulder. 
“You caught me!” he says with a flurry of laughter. Then he pulls away from you as his giggles die down slowly. “I understand you have to go. It makes me sad, though, and not just because of the sweets-related missed opportunity.” he punctuates his words with a gentle nudge of your shoulder. 
You jut out your lower lip at him in adoration, imitating his pout from before. “Maybe we will see each other soon! We can surely hang out then, right?” 
Hoseok’s smile vanishes for a moment as his eyes scan your face in confusion. Slowly then all at once, his eyes soften in realization, and an even bigger grin forms on his lips. “You are adorable!” he giggles but the joke is lost on you. You still find yourself giggling simply because he is giggling. 
Hoseok starts to lead you out of the room with his pinky which is still linked with yours. You hear shuffling of feet behind you and you turn your head slightly to see Yoongi is also following the both of you out, his eyes concentrated on the floor. 
Once you reach the counter, Hoseok lets go of your pinky and goes to his rightful place behind it. “How much do I owe you for today?” you ask him, pulling out your wallet from your coat. 
He is leaning his palms forward on the counter as he types on the computer in front of him. The card machine starts generating a receipt for you. He tears it and hands you one-half of the receipt. You take the receipt and- huh?
This can NOT be right. That’s way too many zeroes. That’s at least three more zeroes than your entire net worth. 
“You made a mistake.” you chuckle nervously as you try to hand the receipt back to Hoseok with wide eyes. He looks at you, presses his lips together, and shakes his head.
“I never make an error. It is absolutely right. You have availed special services of the club today. Multiple hosts left their positions to provide you with a service, even accompanying you to your front door, to be exact. Those are the right charges.” he explains in a cheery yet calm voice that feels anything but reassuring right now.
Hosts? Did he just say hosts? The people who are paid for their company? Then it dawns on you. Bangtan Host Club™. You look around to see how blatantly the name is displayed on the menu cards and the flipbooks on the tables. How several customers are wearing merchandise that reflects the same name. Why had you been so ignorant? Were you so distracted by their charms that you did not even realize what exactly was going on? It is a fucking trademark for God’s sake! How on earth did you miss it?! You feel bile rush up your throat as you look down on the receipt again and the series of zeroes makes you slightly dizzy. 
The next words you screech out come from deep within your bones- “WHAT THE FUCK!” 
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Taglist: @im-sinking-in-mud @comingupwithacoolnameishard @loumin908
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Berries and Crème
⇰ Summary: You find that not all is well in the land of Strawberryland, where there are seven men with colorful hair that have never laid eyes upon a woman before meeting you.
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⇰ Words: 12k
⇰ Genre: Smut & Angst (Crackfic)
⇰ Pairing: BTS x fem!Reader (all members)
⇰ Warnings: Strawberry Shortcake AU, Cunnilingus, Fellatio, Dubious Consent, Implied war, Mentions of PTSD, Voyeurism, Breeding kink, creampie, Jungkook centric, the boys are clueless and don't know what sex is until you ruin their innocence, fucking of pumpkins-food play-ish?, lots of fruit puns/references to sweet things because of the theme, comparing pussy to pumpkinussy(?), plot if you squint. A/N: I DID IT I POSTED YAYYYY! But also please enjoy, I am really tired but I felt bad so here is something I have had in drafts for a while....a fucked up strawberry shortcake au where reader isn't in a good situation-HAVE FUN! Low key kidnapping but whatever. I think I was PMSing when I wrote this. Or it was when I was in a poly relationship with two guys and got carried away.
‧̍̊·̊‧̥°̩̥˚̩̩̥͙°̩̥‧̥·̊‧̍̊ ♡ °̩̥˚̩̩̥͙°̩̥ ·͙*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙·̩̩̥͙*̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙ °̩̥˚̩̩̥͙°̩̥ ♡ ‧̍̊·̊‧̥°̩̥˚̩̩̥͙°̩̥‧̥·̊‧̍̊
You remembered traveling. You were in a car, a really nice car…and you were…yes, you were being kidnapped by your uncle. He said something about some money, some money your father wouldn’t give him. And then the car crashed.
When you came to, he was passed out and you were stranded under a tree.
Suddenly, a puppy with purple fur ran out. You were disoriented and had no clue what the time was but it was strange how the purple puppy that looked to be a toy poodle was running around you, barking as you looked around for anything that could help. Your uncle was unconscious and bleeding out right now so the only thing you could think of was to run away from him. 
There was no telling what the man would do, especially now since you were injured. Sure, he was bleeding, but would that really stop him? He could still very well overpower you. You put your hand up to the dog, as if you were trying to silence it, pressing a finger against your lips and gently whispering: “Shhh, be quiet, you’ll wake him.” You noticed the puppy whining and barking as if it was trying to get someone’s attention.
Suddenly, you heard rustling coming from some bushes nearby, and noticed how big they were. The structure of this area was strange, apart from a few trees scattered around and a mysterious looking log cabin, there was a small fraction of the land that was surrounded by a row of bushes. It almost looked like it was covering something.
Then, a man just appeared, from the bushes. As if there was something hidden there, he just walked out, and you saw how he stepped THROUGH them. So they were fake. He had to be a magician or a wizard of some sort, as the world seemed to warp around him and you sensed something magical about him.
He had doe eyes, and a button nose which was wider all throughout. He was very handsome and appeared to be asian. You weren’t one to guess, but if you had to, you’d say he’s korean. His purple hair wasn’t the strangest thing about him-his outfit was. He was wearing a matching dark purple tracksuit and a light cyan blue and white shirt. His hair was put into a neat ponytail and….his eyes were a deep rich violet. He was probably wearing a cosplayer. 
“Ist def douclf dtep?” That didn’t sound like any language you knew as he opened his mouth to speak. The puppy barked and ran around you, as you looked up, hot from the heat and dehydrated from the past hour of being stuck here.
“Please, help me.” You reached out to the man, in hopes of him reaching back to you before you fainted.
When you came to, you were in a bed, surrounded by two other men, who were peering at you with curiosity. A third man walked in, and as your blurry vision cleared, you could see it was the guy that helped you earlier with the tracksuit. The two other mystery men had strange hair colors and outfits too. One had maroon and pink hair fading into a lighter shade, and he was wearing a really long pink shirt with green and white tights (a man in tights? REALLY?) and lilac contacts in his eyes, while the other had a more normal appearance with blonde hair and blue eyes, but wore a lemon themed outfit, with a goofy lemon printed button up shirt and a plain white tee underneath with some shorts and a pair of white and yellow tights and yellow tennis shoes as well. What was it with the men in this place and their fucking tights?
“Ah, she’s awake?!” The purple haired man ran to you at once. You blushed a bit because it was so nerve wracking to see a good looking guy be attentive towards you. “Move away guys, give her some space.” He said to the other men.
“I can understand you.” You said while sitting up.
“Yeah. That’s because I brought you into Strawberryland. Normally we don’t let other humans cross in, in case they try destroying the town. God forbids that happens again…” He said with a slight dark twinge to his voice. 
“Strawberryland?” You raised a brow and sat up. “What’s that?” You prayed they wouldn’t break into song and dance. 
“It’s the name of this world. You see, long ago, the Berrymunchkins and Berrybugs needed a place to live, so a great wizard from the human world created a safe haven for all the creatures to live, hiding them away from all harm-along with a couple human beings to boot. It was meant to balance out. 15 people, and 9 of the creatures. However, the creatures felt wronged, tired of being used for labor as they had been previously in the human world. So, they retaliated. Slaughtered half of us. You see, we had siblings. There were two of us in each house, and we were happy! My sister…” He clenched his fist. “I’ll never forget what they did to Plum,” He gritted his teeth. You could tell he was going through something at the moment. Definitely looked like PTSD. “Sorry. You probably didn’t need to hear that. But it’s the current state of things. Sorry I couldn’t do more for you than offer a heatpack for your stomach and a hot towel for your forehead. We are pretty much out of medical supplies because the bug workers at the local hospital went on strike.”
You sit up slowly, wincing from the sudden pain.
“What kind of a city is this? Berrymunchkins and bugs, the color….I don’t understand how it’s so…wait, are we in a giant plum right now?” You looked around the house and noticed the shape of it. It was decorated purple, everywhere, and the windows looked candy-stripe themed as well, with green and white peppermints serving as the panes for the glass.
“Yes. Well, that is the magic of strawberryland. We weren’t born here but it gave us these physical changes. Pretty sweet if I say so myself.” The one with the blonde hair spoke up, chuckling in between.
“Wow. And this place was hidden right where the car crash happened? Wow, I guess I got lucky.” You said, sighing in relief.
“Car…crash?” The man who helped you originally asked. “Is that the name of the vehicle that brought you here? My pet, Lavendar, found you and got my attention. I almost never venture out but then when I saw you I had to help. Plus, she’s a good dog. She normally never barks like that,” He said. “Might I add…” He scans your body. “You are unlike anything I’ve ever seen before.” He said.
“Can I ask you how long you’ve been in this place?” You piped up. You had to know.
“Uh…I think a hundred and ten human years, at least?” Your eyes widened. “Time doesn’t pass for us, just barely. We don’t remember the world before this one. We don’t remember why our physical appearances changed or how, all we know is that we’re here now,” He added with a smile. “Together.” He looked back at his friends and gave them a small smile.
“Okay, so to recap: this place has powers and…you don’t have your memory from before you were here and there was a war and your siblings died, and now I’m the first human to cross the magical threshold in a century?!” 
“Yep, that sounds about right.” He replied, nodding. 
“I’ve gotta be dreaming. Wake up!” You yelled. Nothing happened. The men just stared at you like you grew a third arm.
“Ugh, why isn’t it working?” He sat down on the bed, next to you as you slapped your face.
“Please stop doing that, you’ll give yourself a concussion at this rate.” He said with a softer tone. You felt oddly compelled to listen to everything he said without protest. Technically, he did save you. You blushed as he grabbed your arms to keep you from smacking your forehead a fifth time.
“I uh…thanks for saving me,” You sighed. “Actually, I was in danger before you found me anyways…” You weren’t sure if you wanted to share.
“It’s okay. You sound shaken up. Makes sense, you were trapped there for a long time. Look at your skin, you’ve been sweating so much, and your body is barely sitting up straight. We need to get you some food and proper care immediately.” He said, making your heart skip a beat yet again.
Your stomach grumbled just as he said that. Damn you!
“Uh…sir?” You asked hesitantly.
“Yes?” He parted his lips and looked at you with so much focus you thought you would explode.
“What’s your name?” 
“Jungkook.” He smiled at you.
“I’m Y/N.” You smiled back at him.
“It’s a pleasure to meet you,” He kissed your hand. He let his lips linger there for a moment and looked back at the other men before looking back at you. “I’ll let my friends here introduce themselves to you. I gotta take Lavender on a walk.” He said, before leaving through the front door.
“I’m Seokjin. ‘Jin,’ for short.” The blonde said, standing tall.
“And I’m Jimin. Also go as ‘Jimmy,’ or ‘Chim.’ But only my friends call me that really.” The pink haired one scratched his head.
“Okay, I have a weird question for you guys but…promise not to judge?” You asked, blushing a bit as you tried not to stare at the outlines of their bulges.
“What is it?” Jin asked curiously.
“Why are you wearing tights?” 
It was as if you asked ‘how do you breathe?’ to them, as they started roaring with laughter.
“Honey, I don't know what to tell you. We’ve always worn tights. Why do you ask?” Jin asked, completely oblivious to the fact that even though he was wearing shorts the tights did press down on his dick.
You look at Jimin, who was wearing the shirt and suddenly noticed it was JUST the shirt. You licked your lips. That was very interesting to know that you were seeing everything below the shirt, even though he was wearing tights.
“You’re not wearing pants.” You said.
“Of course I’m not! I never wear pants.” He folded his arms. 
“He’s protesting them because the rest of us tease him about his habit about walking around naked in his house.” Jin shared with you.
“I get it. So you all live alone?” You asked, changing the subject. That’s enough ogling Jimin’s obvious bulge for now. At least you had confirmation he was pantsless.
“Yeah. We do.” Jin says. “There’s seven of us, at the moment.” 
“Oh?” You perked up. There were more? If the trend follows they were all gorgeous men.
“Might I add, Jungkook was right,” He slowly let his fingers trail down your chin. “You are quite interesting to look at. We’ve never seen anyone with your eye or hair color around, and that skin tone.” He was vague, but that was okay, as you knew you were exhausted and didn’t look your best.
“Sorry…I think I need a shower.” You felt rude, but Jimin walked you out of the bed towards it. The shower and bathroom was pretty similar to home so you were thankful. After you were done you changed back into your bloody clothes, which caused both Jin and Jimin to freak out.
“Here, take my shirt!” Jin said, throwing off his button down.
“You can take my tights,” Jimin said, and before you could stop him…penis.
You were staring. It was just..out in the open. And Jin wasn’t even batting an eye! Did these men have no concept of shame? You blushed. He wasn’t even wearing underwear.
“What?” Jimin looked at you. “Did I say something?” Jin shrugged as you simply ogled Jimin.
“S-sorry. Uh…in my world it is customary for men and women to not show their genitalia to each other unless they are practicing sexual relations with each other.” You explained.
“Sexual…” Jimin started.
“Relations…?” Jin finished.
“What’s that?” They both had no clue what the fuck sex was. Your mind went to a very bad place. You decided, the opportunity doesn’t present itself often, you needed to get your mind off the fact that a few hours ago your uncle kidnapped you, and Jungkook had gotten you horny beyond belief. Not to mention, these two seemed more than intrigued by you anyways.
“You want me to show you?” You raised a brow.
“Show us how?” Jimin asked, his cock swinging back and forth as he spoke.
“You know the thing you use to pee with?” You asked.
“Yeah,” Jimin smiled. “My penis.” He said.
“Correct. Did you know you could also put it in something and make it feel good?” You said, smirking.
“Like what?” He asked.
“Anything, different textures. Obviously you’re both novices so I’ll just give you something easy to start with,” You looked around and noticed two pumpkins sitting on the counter, with all the seeds scooped out of them. “Oh, I know…guys, is Jungkook using those pumpkins?” You ask.
“No, he was planning to throw them out soon cause they go bad in a few days.” Jin says.
“Okay great. So I want you guys right now to take the pumpkins,” You say, smirking as you had a great idea to ‘teach’ them, without fully corrupting them just yet. They listen to your instructions. “Pull down your tights and take out your penises,” You tell them. They do that. “Now, slowly move your penis into the hole Jungkook cut out, it should be big enough,” You observe them slowly, smirking as they started, eyebrows furrowed like they were learning a new skill. “Every time you move your hips back and forth, it’s called fucking,” You say. “Congrats on learning how to have sex. Basically, you just masturbated, or ‘self-pleasured.’” You tell them, clapping.
“Fucking. Mmm…Y/N, this feels really good.” Jimin groaned. His moans just got you riled up.
“I feel like I might explode, from the inside…” Jin said, his white shirt patched with sweat, and you could see his nipples were erect through the shirt.
“Let it happen, it feels like you’re about to pee? That’s called an orgasm.” You said.
“Orgasm,” Jimin repeated. “O-orgasm….Y/N, I’m about to orgasm!” He said, as if he had just learned a new vocab word.
“Come for me Jimin, baby…come for me.” You whispered against his ear, sucking the shell of it as he continued fucking into the pumpkin, the sound of his cock hitting the back of it could be heard. The slosh of Jimin’s and Seokjin’s cocks moving in and out of their respective pumpkins were all you could hear at the moment.
“Ahhhh nnnnnggg…” Jimin moaned, filling the pumpkin with his semen at the same time as Jin, who came and groaned, looking at you ecstatically.
“That was great!” Jin smiled. “I wanna do that all the time!” He told you.
“Well that’s the thing about sex, it’s good. It feels good, or is supposed to feel good.” You explained. “I haven’t had sex in a few months.” You sigh.
“Do you wanna try?” Jin handed his cum-filled pumpkin to you in hopes of trying to cheer you up. 
“Sorry, Jin,” You pushed the pumpkin back to him, crinkling your nose a bit. The smell of cum wasn’t bad, it was just the idea of having cold cum on your hands. “Women have a different anatomy than men. I might as well teach you guys the second lesson.” You explain.
“Hm?” Jimin asked.
You slowly pull off the tights Jimin lent you. The men crouch down, so they can take a look. They were staring at your panties.
“You’ve never seen underwear before?” You asked.
“No.” Jin said, staring intently between your legs.
“Us women have a different body structure than yours. We don’t have penises to fuck pumpkins with…” You said, chuckling slightly at the end of your sentence. “…instead we have wombs and holes that are meant to be fucked…” You slowly pulled off your panties to show them, blushing pink as they stared at your exposed clit.
“Oh…” Jin looked at it, with a mouth-watering expression.
“Wow…it’s so pretty.” Jimin said, complimenting you.
“C-can I touch it?” Jin asked. You knew this was already a pretty slippery slope but he was the one asking.
“Yeah, sure, if you want.” You whispered. Jin slowly squeezed on your clit, and circled his fingers around slowly.
“Does that feel good, Y/N?” He asked, staring directly at you. “It smells so yummy,” He whispers. “Can I eat it?” Oh god.
Oh god. Oh god. Oh god.
“H-huh?!” Jimin looks at Jin with a blush too. “No fair-I wanna eat it!” Jimin said.
“O-or…” You piped up. You should probably stop talking. “You could both share it.” You said, slowly taking their hands and placing one on either side of your inner thighs while you sat on the bed.
“Okay…” Jimin nodded.
“Yeah, I don’t mind.” Jin said in agreement. They both slowly slid their tongues up your clit as you moaned. It had been too long since you had a guy or two go down on you. 
“Sorry, does it hurt?” Jimin was confused but he had the right idea as you groaned.
“Mm, no, it feels good.” You admit. You sigh, before Jin slowly trailed his tongue down to your sweet spot. You gasped.
“Ah, watch it…that’s the hole…” You tried to explain. “Like the pumpkin?” He didn’t say it like he was clarifying, it was almost like he caught on what you were trying to do. One thing you knew for sure was that these guys learned fast…perhaps their intellect was also enhanced in this colorful twisted Strawberryland. “I understand…so you want us to stuff your wet fleshy hole in the same way?” He said, now using a bit of his saliva to part your inner lips, spreading it apart to get better access to you. You let out a ghastly moan as your juices mixed with his, and as Jimin kept sucking your clit all while this was happening all you could do was moan out, your eyes squeezed shut.
“That makes her feel good, huh?” Jimin’s voice was raspy now, as he panted, staring at your body almost like he was taking you in before destroying you.
“Let’s do the fucking,” Jin said, toying with your clit and using another finger on your exposed opening as your body sucked him in with ease. Your weeping cunt was forced to take his fingers, as he realized he could fuck you with two instead of one. “She’s like a keyboard, Jimin, we play her with our fingers and she makes wonderful music with her lips.” Jin said so innocently yet with his erotic expression and the raging boner he was rocking you begged to differ. 
“Maybe she’ll like it here…she’s also a little sour.” Jimin asked, as he moved his hands further up your body to try and find your other weak spots. Then he stopped at your breasts, squeezing them through your bra and shirt. Jimin lifted your shirt off your body before you could protest. 
“W-wait…” You whispered, but Jin was already too busy licking your sopping clit and thrusting his digits in and out of your hole while Jimin was focused on the new part of you he had just discovered.
“So that’s what you look like underneath…” Jimin said with a light glimmer in his eyes. “I wanna fucking you.” You suppressed a giggle at his flimsy attempt at using the word but soon enough it turned into a moan as he pinched your nipples, hard.
“Ah!” You screamed.
“What’s the matter? Don’t you want me to help you orgasm?” Jimin asked, with a small pout on his lips.
“Y-yes, but…it hurts when you squeeze me like that. Don’t be too rough, okay?” You told him gently.
“Sorry.” He leaned in and kissed you softly at first, while you thrust your hips back and forth reflexively on Jin’s fingers. Jimin’s lips were plump and juicy as his ass looked earlier in those tights, and you could taste a faint hint of raspberries on them…he tasted like a sweet treat! He kneaded your breasts with his hands, circling them around as you came on Jin’s hands and face.
“Cumming!” You moaned, as you came to a climax. Your body was still aching for more though, as Jin licked up your juices and trailed kisses down to your clit again before stringing beads of your cum back up with his nose. The sight in itself was marvelous. “Please give me your cocks,” You begged. “I need it.” You whispered, with a shell of a moan.
Just as Jin was about to speak and Jimin was playing with your breasts some more, you heard the front door open and a few moments later, footsteps. You stopped your activities when the door swung open and in came Jungkook, who looked confused.
“W-what’s happening?” He asked, noticing how you were naked, sprawled on the bed between Jimin and Jin in a compromising situation.
“Um, nothing!” You quickly hid behind the sheets, as Jimin tried to continue grabbing you. “Jimin, stop!”
“Why are you suddenly so shy? You were begging for our penises just moments ago.” He said with a seductive inflection in his voice.
“That’s because-it’s private! You normally don’t do that with just anyone. I was just showing you and Jin because you asked.” You explained, blushing as Jungkook simply tilted his head in confusion. You saw his eyes filled with curiosity and innocence too, but alas, you couldn’t corrupt him too!
“Ah, no fair. Can’t we just show Jungkook too? I mean, you can’t blame us. You’re the first human woman to show up here that knows about this. We have never even heard of “sex” before you showed us!” Jimin said excitedly.
“You do have a point there…” You said. “Jungkook, would you like to see my pussy?” You asked, covering yourself still with the thin blankets.
“Pussy?” Jungkook’s face turned a faint pink. “O-oh, you mean like…” 
“Wait, could it be that you know about it, Jungkook?” Jin asked, slinging his arm around the man as he scratched his head.
“I learned it from Doctor Genus, the berrymuchkin prodigy,” Jungkook explained. “Remember, I was trying to learn to become a Doctor because of the shortage in hospitals?” Jungkook explained. He looked at you, with widened eyes. “I’ve never seen one of our own species before…I do wonder what it looks like.” He said.
“So you wanna see it?” You asked. Jin and Jimin licked their lips, as Jungkook replied.
“Yes.”
At once, Jimin and Jin pulled the covers off you to reveal your naked body to Jungkook.
“Wow…it’s so…pretty,” Jungkook slowly crouched down to inspect it. “Definitely not like a bug,” You felt like his reaction so far has made sense in terms of what you’re used to for men your age (which still in their mid-twenties is still pretty shit considering a lot of them lie about their experience). “May I…inspect it?” You gulped. He was being so respectful. You nodded slightly, spreading your legs so Jungkook could get a better look. “This is great. A real pussy!” He sounded more excited. 
“Yeah. And guess what Jungkook?” Jin said.
“What?” You were a bit afraid of what the two were about to say to him, as you knew if they started they would get hooked on your pussy.
“She gave me and Jimin permission to fucking her.” Of course, the one time he used it grammatically correctly was of course when he was describing it to the one man which probably had a better grasp of sex than the others. You clenched your jaw. What if Jungkook thought you were a whore?
“Fucking?” Jungkook’s lips parted and he let out a sigh, his hands on his hips. “What’s that?” 
You gasped as Jimin, who was fully naked waist down since he gave his tights to you, and Jin, who was still sporting his hard on were right next to you.
“We can show you,” Jimin smirked. “Y/N, do you want us to fucking you?” You smiled at Jimin. He was still learning.
“First; it’s called fuck. You ask if you want to fuck someone. Fucking is the action of doing that. There. And yes, I would love to, but you will have to be more gentle with me than the pumpkin because my body could get more hurt. Remember I was in an accident earlier.” You explained. Jimin nodded, looking more serious. You guessed he got the hint that you were telling him this so he could have better guidance.
“It’s okay. When we’re busy using our fingers on you like you’re our keyboard, you won’t even notice if we’re being a little too rough.” Jin said, grabbing your face so he could kiss you. You groaned as he forced his tongue into your mouth.
“Mmmm…!” You groaned. He tasted like lemons, smelled like them too, but it was more of a citrus smell than just lemons. It smelled like a variety of fruity perfume from Zara. He tasted delectable.
“Get a chair, Jungkook,” Jimin said, as he stroked his pretty pink tip. You moaned, seeing his dick in front of your face as you sat up in the bed and Jin started removing his remaining clothes. “I’m putting it inside, Y/N.” Jimin warned you, as you nodded and he pushed his hips forward. You moaned like a little bitch in heat. You could hear Lavendar barking downstairs.
“Give me a second, Lavender normally never barks. Let me go see what she wants.” Jungkook said, before departing the room.
“It’s okay, he can watch when he gets back. Do you mind still doing it?” You were surprised how Jimin went from being a totally horny boy to asking for your consent before continuing. It was a nice change of pace, but that just told you more about his character than anything.
“Yeah…be careful. Short strokes. Your dick isn’t humongous but it is on the larger side so it may be difficult for you to put it in.” You explained, while Jin watched as Jimin was being careful with your body.
“Okay.” Jimin slowly slid his cock into you with ease, as you were already wet enough. He started thrusting sloppily, unable to do it at an expert level but still reaching your deepest spots with every thrust as he fucked you best he could as a novice.
“Oooooohhh…Jimin!” You groaned. 
“MMmmm…it’s so warm, and gripping me so hard.” He sounded desperate to climax as he held your thighs while you rolled your body back and forth while he thrusted up. Your skin smacked together in a way where the wet noises resounded through the room. Jimin’s pinkish cock was inside of you, and you were even more aroused when you heard voices downstairs and then  the door slammed shut before Jungkook ran back up to join you.
“Sorry that took so long. Namjoon was making his last runs. Just got a fresh batch of oranges!” Jungkook said to Jin as he joined you back upstairs.
“D-don’t worry…y-you didn’t m-miss…much…” Jimin moaned as he was now fucking you in missionary position, now on top of you as opposed to you riding him. You groaned with every thrust and your eyes rolled back as you felt close. “Mmm, gonna….orgasm…” Jimin moaned, kissing your neck as you groaned and rubbing his face in your breasts before thrusting fully and sending you to your own personal creampie heaven as he came. 
You loved creampies, of all shapes and sizes and varieties. It was your main kink. So the thought of getting gangbanged and potentially creampied was your biggest dream come true. This right now, with Jimin, Jin, and Jungkook, all felt like a dream. You groaned as your body rocked and you chased your high, thrusting your hips upwards in hopes of drawing out the orgasm and using Jimin’s pretty pink cock to get yourself off. You came, just as he pulled out, you actually squirted. 
“I…” You said, too overstimulated to move as he didn’t touch you for a moment. 
“What was that?” Jin asked in confusion.
“Did you pee?” Jimin asked in a teasing tone.
“N-no, I squirted, it rarely happens to girls when they orgasm but it typically contains cum…and just a hint of urine,” You explained sheepishly. “Sorry, let me change the sheets.” You tried standing up but wobbled and fell back down on the bed. Jimin held you tightly, as if he was comforting you.
“Try not to stand too quickly. Besides, Jin here wants to also try out your hole,” Jimin said gently. “Are you sure you can handle that?” You were still slicked with cum and your own jism that you didn’t care.
“Yeah.” Was all you said as Jin slid beside you, while Jimin moved off the bed. It was a queen sized bed so it definitely wasn’t all that spacious for three people. Jimin and Jin were kneeling while they ate you out earlier too so that’s why it worked out. As for now…Jin teased your entrance with his fingers before pushing his cock in with ease. In contrast to Jimin, Jin was a more passionate and aggressive lover, pulling you close to him and making sure you could see his face while he piledrove his dick into you. You gasped and shuddered with every thrust, he was facing you, you could see how his hips met yours, and how his cock couldn’t completely fit in, so he went only halfway. You had to measure later but you wanted to say he was closer to 10 inches?
“Jimin’s right, it is warm and tight…” Jin smirked. “I like pussy.” Jin said with a cheeky tone in his voice.
“Y-you better, it’s meant to be enjoyed.” You said back seductively, moaning into the pillow as he pounded you for all you were worth.
“Jungkook, isn’t she something else?” Jimin said as he sat on a beanbag next to Jungkook.
“Yeah. She’s beautiful. And this is…sex?” Jungkook looked like he was making mental note of it as he watched Jin’s cock slide into your hole once more.
“Yep, and she’s a fantastic teacher.” Jimin said with a grin.
“I wanna have sex…” Jungkook looked at you with lust.
“Mmmhmm, me too, Jungkook.” Jimin smirked, looking back at you. “Here, let me show you how to masterbate…” Jimin slowly tugged his own cock, looking back at you and Jin on the bed as if he was watching an early morning special. Jungkook followed suit, removing his joggers to reveal his throbbing tanned dick, which was at least 8 inches. It was a bit bigger than Jimin’s, which already was pretty big to begin with. Do all the men here have big penises? You wondered. You watched Jungkook and Jimin stroking themselves, moaning as Jin continued fucking you before blowing his load. You gasped and your pussy clamped down on his cock, sucking him in before the white volcano splashed and the suction loosened, letting him go with a slow squelch. Your body collapsed out of fatigue.
“That’s enough for tonight, guys. She’s exhausted. Let’s let her sleep.” Jungkook ushered the other men out of his house after lending Jimin and Jin some spare tights and then switched off the lights. He bought you some dinner while checking up on you.
“Aw, thank you Jungkook,” You smiled at him. Suddenly your face turned pale. “Uh, did you by chance throw those pumpkins out earlier?” You asked. Jungkook furrowed his brows in confusion before nodding.
“Yeah…why?” He asked.
“Whew, nevermind,” You wiped the sweat off your brow while Jungkook watched you eat for a bit. “Why do you all look at me like that?” You asked, having had enough of the staring for a day.
“Sorry if it’s weird, we have just never seen a woman in so long, especially one that looks like you. And I know I told you of our past, but it’s so much more complicated when…” He fell silent. “I used to have a sister,” He sighed, before leaning back, the dim lighting of the bedroom was enough for you to make out that he was pondering something. “After the damn war, she was lost. So were the others. You’ll get to meet the remaining few tomorrow, the other humans I mean. And maybe Mr. Caterpillar.” Jungkook said with a small smile.
“I hope so,” You smiled back at him. “And I hope they’re just as nice as you guys have been to me so far,” Jungkook smiled a bit, before leaning in. “Y/N, may I taste your lips?” You raised a brow.
“Huh?”
“Every one of us has a distinct taste. Jimin tastes like Raspberries, Jin like lemons, and me, like plums. I wonder…since you’re not from around here what you taste like?” You were a little weirded out. How the hell does he know what his friends taste like? Although, honestly earlier while you were kissing them you noted their delicious tastes. You wondered if they all regularly made out or something to know that. “What are you thinking about, I wonder, silly girl?” Jungkook called you silly.
“Hey, I am not-” He leaned in and kissed you. After a second, you kissed back. He was really good at that. You wished all boys would shut you up the same way. After a small amount of time, he kissed your forehead and bid you adieu. You fell back, and it was off to dreamland.
You were awoken to the sound of the door opening, you weren’t expecting him to be back so soon but you supposed he couldn’t hold back after seeing you earlier. He slowly slid into bed beside you, hugging you from behind. You don’t know what you were expecting, but you stayed still. Then…you felt wet hot tears on the back of your neck. Was Jungkook…crying? He was. You heard his sobs muffled by him rubbing his face into your back and his hands.
“Plum…I miss you so much…” He cried softly, and after a while his breathing slowed. You sensed he was asleep, so you turned around to find him passed out like a baby. You slowly wrapped your arms around him and stroked his shoulders as he nestled his head into your neck while he slept. You spooned him as you gradually also followed suit, and drifted back to sleep.
When you awoke Jungkook was still sleeping. He was gorgeous. He looked like any regular ol’ human, minus the purple hair and eyes, but he was. And his skin was pale, but not so pale it washed him out. You watched him sleep for a few more seconds before he shifted and his eyes met yours with a sleepy, “Good morning,” From him.
You smiled and kissed him softly, as he hummed and pulled you on top of him. “You noticed me?” He asked. “Sorry for sneaking into your bed in the middle of the night. I just had lots of memories…” Jungkook yawned. “Anyways, wanna get breakfast?” You gave him a sad sigh, but nodded.
“Sure, watchu got?” You asked him.
“Oranges!” He set them down in front of you after you joined him downstairs. Because you wanted some dignity, you had wrapped one of Jungkook’s shirts around your hips as a makeshift skirt. It was baggy and loose so it sat around your hips nicely after you had tied it best you could.
“Thanks,” You ate the fruits and then saw the puppy. She ran out of her doghouse to greet you. “Hi puppy!” You pet her as she yapped in your face.
“She’s happy to see you alive and well!” Jungkook smiled at you, grinning. “By the way, you taste like…whatever you eat! I tasted the noodles I got for you last night.”
“Yeah, that’s generally how it works for us normal humans.” You explained to Jungkook while playing with Lavender.
“Is that right?” Jungkook finished cutting up some more fruits. “Anyways, I have to get to work soon, but you’re welcome to join me today if you wish. You’re probably sore from Jimin and Jin’s…uh….play session yesterday, right?” You nodded.
“That’s alright. But…I do wanna return the favor to you Jungkook,” You hugged him softly. “You’re just so damn cute..” You whisper, trailing your hands over his tracksuit pants again. 
“Ah-ah….Y/N, what are you doing to me?” You tie your hair back, and get on your knees.
“Jungkook, can I please suck you off?” You asked directly. That was required in this land where the men are hot but their brains don’t have a clue about it.
“Uh….are you sure?” He asked softly. “I-I…don’t wanna pressure you…”
“I’m fine.” You looked up at him for confirmation before he finally gave you a yes. You immediately got to work, all while his dog whined from her doghouse on seeing you fuck her owner with your mouth. You knew sex wasn’t a concept here but you were ready to change that. Damn your overactive sex drive.
You sucked from base to tip, kissing his veiny length as best you could, before licking the surface in full and using your mouth to pleasure him. You had to be careful so your teeth didn’t scrape him but in hindsight, all attempts were successful as within five minutes, he came in your mouth. You guzzled his cum, opening your mouth wide as he released it all, and lapped up the remaining strings of semen off his thighs. His cum tasted sweeter too, just like vanilla or whipped cream. You knew it had to do with this wonderful berry land.
“Yum.” You said with a final huff. He hadn’t said a word apart from moaning every time you sucked him in, but he simply kissed you and wiped excess off your face.
“Thank you.” Jungkook smiled at you, panting slightly.
“My pleasure.” You smirked, washing your mouth before untying your hair again.
Jungkook took you into town. He said he used to help his sister with her dance studio but after a while passed it to his berry best friend, Hoseok. You were to meet him next, and you were nervous as you learned the guy was a professional dancer. You’d always wanted to give it a shot and Jungkook invited you to go to a practice lesson but today you were just visiting the studio. Jungkook still collected rent on the place, and today Hoseok’s rent was due.
When you walked in, you noticed tiny creatures running around and dancing. They looked like children, and you looked at Jungkook with confusion.
“Those are the mini-berrykins. They are produced once every winter when the spores spread from the trees and a new batch of 12 appears.” He explained.
“So they’re like…baby berrykins?” You asked.
“Yeah, I guess you can say that, in a way.” You and Jungkook walked up to the instructor, who was a red haired man, who looked to have a heart shaped smile and a very adorable and cheerful face. He was also very attractive. Your heart skipped a beat as he turned around and greeted you both.
“I hope you’re having a wonderful day, Jungkook Pudding,” He said with a smile. “Oh and who’s this? A new friend?” He peered at you with a curious expression. Upon closer inspection, he had a red themed outfit too, to match the cherry beret he was sporting. You noticed he looked similar to Jungkook with his casual leisurewear, which unlike Jimin and Jin with the tights, he was wearing dark magenta cargo pants and a hot pink and purple polka dotted t-shirt. He still looked hot, even with the outfit. You thought he’d look like a clown but he ended up looking better than you’d expect from a dude in such a fit.
“I’m Y/N.”
“Welcome to the dance studio Y/N. I’m glad you could join me today. I’m Hoseok Jam, I moved to town last so it’s strange seeing another new human being here,” He scratched his neck as you simply smirked at him. He probably had a better idea of what was what. “Especially a girl.” He added with a grin.
“So Y/N here was in a car accident and she was in trouble. So I brought her with me and she’s staying at my house,” Jungkook explained softly. “She’s been teaching me a lot of new things.” He said.
“Really? Like what?” Hoseok asked with a twinkle in his eyes. “Do you dance?” He asked you.
“Well, not really. But…I was teaching Jungkook about sex yesterday.” You explained sheepishly. There was no point in being a prude when no one in town knew any better.
“Sex…?” Hoseok looked clueless.
“She can teach you,” Jungkook looked at you with a soft gaze. “Right, Y/N?” You were already leaning against the barre, as Hoseok and Jungkook walked up behind you.
“Right. I’ll try my best,” You looked at Hoseok. “It helps you dance. It’s sorta like dancing but….dirtier.” You tried explaining.
“Oh? Dirty how?” Hoseok was inquisitive, that’s for sure. “What is it?” He asked with a soothing voice. You felt hypnotized as he pulled you towards him. You were a couple inches away from his face. Jungkook had turned on some music so you could dance.
It took you a moment, as the upbeat pop song urged Hoseok to move more vigorously, and he slowed down, grinding his hips against yours as you smirked and got close and personal with him. He grabbed your ass, smirking cheekily. You had a feeling these men weren’t as clueless as you originally thought, either that or you awakened something within him.
“Mmmm…you mind?” Hoseok asked as he grabbed your thigh.
“What?” You bit your lip, as he trailed his hand down. 
“I wanna make sure if I touch you, that you’re okay. Teach me this new ‘dance’ then?” Oh….he was asking. And Jungkook was watching for now, but slowly stepped over to you, pulling your shirt off your body swiftly.
“Oh she’s more than okay with it…” Jungkook answered for you, slightly rubbing your hardened nipples through your bra. “...See that? It means her body is ready to be fucked.” The tone he used, the way he sounded while he was kneading your breasts, it was as if his innocence was a charade, merely an act kept up by him before his true nature was brought to the surface.
“That’s not…you know you have to ask before you do this sort of stuff?” You said with a faint blush dusting your cheeks.
“What? Really? Because it seems like you’re pretty much up for everything regardless…” Jungkook pouted slightly. “Can’t we just do it whenever we feel like it?” It seemed Jungkook had your enthusiasm confused for consent. You didn’t blame him, from your previous actions it seemed like you were more than ready to consent to that.
“I suppose you have a point…but still, asking never hurts!” You coddled him as if he was a child.
“Okay…I promise to ask,” Jungkook hugged you softly, wrapping his arms around your waist while Hoseok ogled your breasts as Jungkook unclasped your bra. “Can I fuck you now?” 
You couldn’t say no, not when you saw his eyes. You began kissing him and Hoseok looked on with curiosity. You smirked, before breaking the kiss and turning to kiss Hoseok. Hoseok was a little confused at first, but slowly responded by placing his hands on your shoulders and leaning down so he could meet your lips. He tasted vaguely like cherries.
“Mmmm.” He moaned. “Ah…you’re hard…” You whispered as you saw his cock bulging through his pants. It was begging to be freed, while you looked at Jungkook with half-lidded eyes. “Jungkook, Hoseok, remove your pants.” You told them in a lowered voice. You prayed nobody would walk in but it looked like everyone had left. Now you, Jungkook, and Hoseok were positioned on the floor on a foam matt as Jungkook was at your head and Hoseok was positioned between your thighs. He was exploring you, following whatever his body urged him to do as you groaned between them. Jungkook held you on his lap, smirking and encouraging Hoseok.
“Oh, she liked that. Suck her there again, Hoseok.” Jungkook smirked at him. You simply moaned, as Hoseok’s tongue swept over your folds, and he suckled your clit.
“Ah!”
“She tastes so good….in a different way. I’ve never tasted anything like it.” Hoseok said with a small smile.
“I know, that’s just her pussy. Her lips taste better in my opinion,” Jungkook smirked, before leaning forward and spreading your pussy cautiously. “Now just put your penis in here. Trust me, it is so much better than going to the bathroom.” Hoseok was confused but watched with curious eyes as you guided his cockhead into your pulsing hole, as you groaned from his size. He was a grower, something you hadn’t experienced in Strawberryland yet.
“It’s so warm…I feel like I might pee.” Hoseok groaned, closing his eyes. “W-wait, don’t pee! It’s only for pleasure.” You said with an exhausted moan.
“You tired, Y/N?” Jungkook asked, holding you tighter. “A little…” 
“Let’s change the position. Hoseok, how about we continue this in your office?” Jungkook reminded him of the rent again. It was so wonderfully debauched as you took Jungkook’s cock in your mouth and Hoseok’s cock from behind, while they talked about the rent and finances in Hoseok’s office. You were propped on the desk on all fours, moaning like a bitch in heat.
“Yeah, so the projected rate looks like it’s only growing. I don’t doubt that but I would like to see how it changes based on the changes I proposed.” Jungkook said, placing a hand on his chin as he pushed his cock all the way into your mouth. You choked, groaning as he ignored you and kept going despite seeing how it affected you.
“Mmmmm, too much.” You croaked, but he responded by gripping your hair and thrusting into your mouth harder. Hoseok noticed and picked up the pace, fucking you at a slightly more advanced pace now.
“I think it’ll be f-fine. Ah, I’m…I feel strange, Jungkook.” He said, gripping your waist.
“How so?” Jungkook questioned.
“Something is coming out of me, and going into Y/N.” He gripped your sides harder, his fingers forming small red marks on your skin.
“It’s an orgasm, Hoseok. You’re cumming.” You explained between breaths, moaning and gasping and letting go of Jungkook’s cock as Hoseok came all over your ass. He had pulled out, luckily, and decided not to cum inside you. You still weren’t sure what the consequences were but it was exciting nonetheless to have sex with so many gorgeous men thus far.
After bidding Hoseok goodbye, Jungkook took you to visit three more of his friends. Luckily, they were all together, busy with selling fresh fruits to the citizens of Strawberryland. You met Yoongi Shortcake, Taehyung Muffin, and Namjoon Blossom. You also found out that Namjoon was the one that delivered those oranges to Jungkook’s house the night before. Their personalities: all different. Yoongi was more introverted, he didn’t say much but his bright pink hair made you believe he was a real life anime character. He certainly looked handsome enough to be one, that’s for sure.
Taehyung had shockingly bright blue hair and a blue outfit to match, and he was extroverted, quickly offering you a fresh cookie after hearing about the car crash and hearing that you were in an unfamiliar world. His touch was warm, and he made you feel comfortable. Namjoon had a ‘dad’ type of vibe. When you met him, he gave you a smile and chatted with you about sales. He was really cute, all in all.
All three had their own charm, and every guy treated Jungkook like he was their little brother. You loved how close they were.
“So those were all the humans in town. It’s just us seven.” Jungkook said as he laid down on his couch after you arrived back to his home.
“I’m glad you have each other.” You said with a small smile.
“Oh I forgot, tomorrow, we’re having a bake off. Any dish we want,” Jungkook smirked. “I’m gonna win this year.”
“How do you know that?” You folded your arms.
“Just a feeling. So Y/N, how do you feel about having more fucks?”
After sleeping on it, you agreed to his idea. Jungkook, every man that met you here, so far everyone had been more than willing to indulge in you. Your hair was different, and biologically, a woman. They had some sort of a male instinct awakened in them whenever they looked at you.
Luckily, you were able to get cuter clothes from a Bug Shop which Jungkook agreed to buy if you agreed to help him. So, in your new green themed corset dress, and white tights and black Mary Janes, you walked over to help Jungkook setup. He smirked when he saw how the other men looked at you, like he anticipated it. He nodded at you and licked his lips but didn’t say much as you went around to talk to the others.
You walked up to Namjoon first, who was unfolding some chairs but stopped abruptly upon seeing you.
“Hey Y/N,” He scratched his neck. “You look lovely today.” He smiled shyly.
“Thanks Namjoon. I’m just wishing everybody good luck.” You winked at him. His dimples were honestly so adorable as he thanked you for wishing him.
“Thanks Y/N,” He stopped. “Hey, would you like to maybe hang out sometime after the competition?” He asked. You were expecting it. 
“Sure,”
You visited Yoongi’s booth next. He had set up everything, sighing when you walked up to him. “Is everything okay?” You asked him.
“No, they gave me the wrong shipments! I was supposed to get strawberries, not blueberries.” Yoongi sighed.
“Blueberries?” Taehyung piped up. “If you’re not using those can I have them? I can always make another batch of my sister’s famous blueberry crème brulee!” Yoongi reluctantly gave Taehyung his ingredients. “Wow, thanks bro!” Taehyung slapped his back and walked off to continue. You felt a little bad for Yoongi, it looked like he couldn’t participate in the bakeoff.
“Yoongi…what about strawberry jam instead?” You asked, showing him the box of extra ingredients. “You could create the same flavor out of these, right?” You asked him for confirmation.
“You have a point but…I’ll use them on one condition.” You stop moving the box.
“What is it?”
“You’ll have to help me.” Yoongi smirked, as if he had been planning this from the start.
“O-okay.” You weren’t going to protest. You didn’t know him well, none of them really, but you knew enough to know they were all really friendly people.
“Start with mixing the batter,” You nodded and followed his instructions. “What are you doing? You’re not supposed to mix the eggshells in with it!” He gaped at you as you took the spoon out in confusion. 
“Sorry, I don’t cook.” You grinned sheepishly. He sighed and started cracking the eggs for you. 
“No eggshells. Those are like poison,” You sighed as he shoved the new bowl into your arms. “Start mixing.” You nodded, getting to work at once.
You set Yoongi back 10 minutes but after seeing how poor your skills in the kitchen were, he eventually took over, only making you watch over the timer. You didn’t mess that up, as at the end, his concoction was done. A custard dish, with strawberry flavored spongecake. Taehyung, who was right next to the two of you glanced over as you worked, and his eyes widened when he saw how it turned out. Then he had a wild idea.
“Wait, you should mix these in. Trust me. It’s gonna be like heaven in your mouth!” He was helping the enemy? You didn’t understand the ethics in Strawberryland and Yoongi accepted extra blueberries from Taehyung. After reworking it and getting another batch out, you noticed how the blueberries enhanced the flavor. Taehyung was right, it’s even better.
With that, Yoongi was crowned the winner. You went to see Jungkook, who was sad but ultimately happy for Yoongi. At least he wasn’t a sore loser. Yoongi looked at Taehyung as he accepted the trophy.
“Actually, I don’t deserve this. If it wasn’t for my friend Taehyung, I would have never won. Everyone give it up for Taehyung: the real winner of the bake-off!” Yoongi said, holding his hand up in victory.
“Really?! Thanks Yoongi!” Taehyung hugged him, laughing and taking the reward. “I think first place should go to everyone!” To your dismay, Taehyung started breaking off pieces of the trophy and handing it to all the participants. 
Okay if you didn’t already think you were dying from blood loss under a tree, you definitely did now. This was some disney channel bullshit! You watched how happy they were, as if this was a resolved ending!
Then night came. Oh how wrong you were. Jungkook invited everyone to the house with you, while offering some sangria. You all had a few sips when the conversation took a turn.
“You think our sisters would be proud of what we’ve become?” Jungkook asked Namjoon as he leaned back.
“If what we’ve become are our better halves the bloodshed would’ve been worth it.” He said with a slur, his eyes shutting as he looked at Jungkook slowly.
What? You were more than confused now.
“We promised not to talk about this,” Yoongi broke the momentary silence. “Shut up, shut up, shut up!” He yelled at all of you. “I’m sorry.” He apologized after calming down. You had a feeling something wasn’t right. Why there are only seven humans here and not 15….why Jungkook cried while holding you and saying someone else’s name. You had a gut feeling it didn’t have anything to do with fruity metaphors.
“I know something that can cheer you up.” Jimin said with a cheeky smile. The look on his face and how he looked at you was enough for you to pick up what he was putting down.
“Yeah, and she’s sitting right next to you!” Jin said, lurching forward and pressing a wet kiss against your lips. You gasped into his mouth. “S-sorry, are you okay with me kissing you?” He asked after breaking the kiss.
“Yeah. I’m fine with it,” The wine from earlier had made you horny already so you didn’t mind. You kissed him back best you could which was pretty sloppy already. Then suddenly, Jin was pulled away from you. “Wha? Why’d you sstop?” You asked with furrowed brows, before blinking and realizing that Jungkook had pulled Jin away from you. Jin looked at Jungkook like he could kill him. To which Jungkook responded by tilting your head back and kissing you.
“Y/N, I’m gonna make you my bitch tonight.”
Wait, where’d he learn how to say that?
You were about to ask, before Jimin grabbed you by the neck and took a taste for himself. He tasted lovely, just like raspberries. His plump juicy lips brushed against your chapped, thinner ones. His lips could compare to the feel of a pillow, as plush and soft as he felt, but wetter. Then you realized something as Jimin’s hand wandered down to your panties. As he kissed the side of your neck and his lips wandered down more, you gasped. He suckled. He left a mark. 
How did Jimin know how to leave a hickey?
“My turn…” Namjoon sneered, before kissing you in turn. Your tastebuds felt like they were on air as he kissed you, as he tasted like oranges and lemons. You loved the citrus taste of his lips, which refreshed your own breath. You were panting as he pulled back slowly, he gave you a sultry stare. You felt hypnotized by his gaze, and your body was hot as Jimin slipped your shirt off you unknowingly.
“What’s happening?” You looked at Jungkook for an explanation as he took his shirt off. His skin underneath was flawless, save for a few scars on his body that seemed to have healed from stab wounds, a wide line spread around his torso, almost like someone had dragged it out.
“You figured it out,” He threw his shirt to the floor. “Smart girl.”
“Did you think we were stupid?” Jimin asked as he kissed your ear.
“Of course we know what sex is, you dumb girl.” Jin said, grabbing your chin and forcing you to look up again as he kissed you. Namjoon continued kissing down your jaw, and collarbone.
“You see when we saw you, we knew….we just had to have you.” He said while nipping your collarbone and leaving another mark.
“Ah…you lied…” You sighed, closing your eyes as the men focused more on pleasuring you.
“Not just lied, sweetie, we’ve been deceiving you…so each and every one of us could have a taste of your sweet pussy.” Jungkook’s words turned your insides into mush. You realized it was a great deception after all.
“M-my…huh?” You were confused. “Why me?” They could have chosen literally ANY woman. And chose you.
“Because you’re so cute.” Jimin whispered in your right ear.
“And your body is so sexy.” Jin whispered in your left.
“And we haven’t had a woman in years. It’s been too long.” Namjoon groaned, releasing your skin from the clutches of his teeth.
“It has…?” You wondered about that. Why there were only men in this town.
“Yeah. You see, every time we feel the urge, we turn to each other but…it’s not cutting it anymore. An ass isn’t the same as a pussy and we decided enough is enough. And now….we want yours.” Jimin licked his lips, before kissing you again, his fruity scent mingling with yours. You loved the way he tasted! How they all tasted distinctly like fruits.
“But the car crash…” You looked out the window of Jungkook’s house.
“Forget him.” Jungkook said, standing up.
“What?”
“Forget about your uncle. As of now, he is none of your concern. He tried to hurt you. I saw it. Lavender alerted me and I saw how he was startled and crashed into the tree, but then I saw you, and I knew you were helpless. You were drugged Y/N. Did you know that?”
You didn’t.
“You saved my life.” You said again. “Thank you.” 
“No need. I wanted to. We have each other now,” Jungkook placed a hand on your chin. These men loved doing that to you. “Will you have us?” 
You took one look at all of them and knew this was better than any alternative you could have imagined. They all wanted you, desired you as a woman. You had never felt this loved in your life. And they were giving it to you.
“Yes.”
Jin lifted you up to the master bedroom, with the six men in tow, right behind you as he opened the door to the room. You were nervous with anticipation as he gently set you down.
“Be mine…” He whispered. You nodded as he began kissing you and removed your tights. You sighed, as he kissed down your face and then pulled back, now Yoongi and Taehyung staring down at you. Red and pink mingled together as the three of you shared a kiss. You groaned, Yoongi tasted like strawberries while Taehyung tasted like blueberries. It tasted like a smoothie in your mouth, as you gasped, groaning while Taehyung smirked and suckled one of your nipples while Yoongi worked on the other. Both men were eager to have you now, while Namjoon and Jin stood behind them, patiently waiting for their turn.
Jimin, Jungkook, and Hoseok were of no concern to you as there was too much to focus on. Taehyung’s blue hair under your fingers, Yoongi’s pink hair buried between your legs as he explored your clitorous, and Taehyung’s face next to yours as you studied him.
He was handsome, with a round face and well defined jaw, he appeared to be ethereally gorgeous. They all were gorgeous, but Taehyung’s beauty felt like something blessed by a god. You could feel a warmth from his smile and his gaze out you at ease. His wide smile and cherry red lips made you feel hot, as you blushed and looked down at Yoongi.
“Oh…he’s doing a good job?” Taehyung teased you as you could merely glance at the man, foaming at the mouth.
Yoongi was beautiful as well, his eyes drooped as if he was tired but naturally very pretty and green as he stared at you. His stare enraptured you, as he reminded you of a cat with how steadily he moved his hands down your left mound, and flicked his tongue over your exposed pink slit. You let out a moan.
“Y-oongi!” 
“Mmm?” He whispered, vibrations against your pussy as he answered tiredly.
“That feels good.” You whined.
“Sweet girl, of course it does. He’s eating it well, right?” Taehyung’s comment was so innocent and erotic at the same time as he cupped your breasts at the same time. “Shall I eat your cunt too?”
You gasped, as both men fucked you with their tongues at once, making you remember what Jimin and Jin did for you the day before.
“She tastes so good, I can’t stop.” Yoongi moaned.
“Fuck…I’m hard.” Namjoon groaned, stroking his cock with one hand. You didn’t notice how quickly the others got undressed.
“I must…princess, may I fuck you?” Yoongi asked after pulling away.
“Yes,” You groaned, spreading your legs for him as the dark pink haired man slowly slid into you. You gasped as your pussy wrapped around him snugly and he fit right with you. “Ah!” You let out a ghastly moan.
“Fuck…” Yoongi groaned as the other men watched you get used by him. His cock was making you come undone at the moment, and all they could do was watch.
“Ah…please…gather around me…” You encouraged them as they jerked off around you. Seven cocks, one hole. You gasped as without warning, Hoseok stuffed his in your mouth. You still took it without complaint, as this was expected of you now.
“Ah…Yoongi…” You groaned as he snapped his hips back and forth.
“Yes…” You groaned.
“God, you were just made to take my cock, weren’t you?” You gasped as he made you arch your back. Yoongi was too good at dirty talk. You moaned as some of them came on your face, and your body was covered with white jizz. It was hot, sticky, and smelled good. You bit your lips. The sight was making you even slicker and turned on.
“God, we knew you were a huge slut when you made us fuck those pumpkins but looking at you now, we know you’re a total whore.” Jimin smirked at you, walking forward as he came all over your face. You gawked as he leaned forward and smacked his cock on your cheek, as if you weren’t even a person but rather an object for sexual gratification.
“I am a whore!” You admitted. “A big, dirty whore who loves cock.” You were ready to admit anything so long as you got dicked down. As Yoongi pulled out and left some cum inside you, Taehyung swiftly moved down and had his turn next. He was slightly more gentle with you, grinning as you would moan every time he hit your spot. You noticed he was more focused on giving you pleasure than taking it.
“Ah…that’s a good girl.” He said to you, kissing you softly as you moaned. You groaned into his shoulder as he fucked you deep and hard, but still executing a gentle passion with every movement. And then he pulled out. You groaned, as Jungkook replaced him, and at this point you were far gone.
“Sorry it took so long,” Jungkook pressed a kiss against your forehead as you simply nodded. “Finally.” He sunk into you, moaning as he held you tight. He slowly rutted into you with more passion than the last two, possibly because you connected throughout the past few days.
As time went by, you could only stare into his deep violet eyes, a small breath escaping your chapped lips as you reached out. You were so tired…your eyes heavy lidded as Jungkook came, and you came with him. You needed rest, so you blacked out.
When you came to, the men were whispering around you with worry. They were all concerned about you. It seems they had taken the liberty of wiping you up and giving you a fresh change of clothes. A simple pair of shorts and a blue drop top.
“Sorry for worrying you.” You sat up slowly.
“No, we’re sorry for being too rough with you.” Taehyung shook his head.
“Are you feeling any better?” Namjoon handed you an orange, which you deeply appreciated.
“Yeah. Thanks Namjoon,” You smiled. “I think I’m just tired. Could you guys possibly let me rest a bit before we start again?”
“Of course.” Namjoon nodded.
“Sleep well, princess,” Yoongi kissed you on the forehead. “Thanks for helping me win.” He gave you a small smile which made your heart skip a beat as he walked towards the door and left.
One by one they all left Jungkook’s residence, leaving you alone again. They were all so patient and attentive, it made you worried. You didn’t want to leave but going out and checking on your uncle would have been the right thing to do.
“Y/N…” He hugged you tightly. “I need to tell you somethin…” He gripped your waist tighter. You felt like you couldn’t breathe. “Those damned bugs killed our sisters…killed my lover too. I hope you know that now I have you, I intend on never letting you go.” You were beginning to come to terms with it.
“Okay.” You answered him genuinely. You were fine with it, actually. 
“Really?” He asked with widened doe eyes. 
“Yeah.” You giggled.
“That makes me so happy, Y/N I could kiss you. But that would just lead to fucking, so I’m gonna hold off,” You nodded, as he let go of you and left you to your own vices.
You woke up to Lavender licking you. She was barking up a storm when Jungkook lifted her off you. “Sorry. She got excited.” 
“No problem.” You smiled as he placed her back in her doghouse. 
“We’re planning to meet up at Jimin’s house later. Would you like to come?” You nodded immediately, giddy as the raspberry-themed man seemed to have a slightly more kinkier side you appreciated. The thought was enough to make you aroused again, but instead of acting on it you decided to take a breath. You needed to rest.
Of course, at Jimin’s house everyone seemed to get the message as no one approached you wanting to have sex. However they still looked at you. You made chatter with everyone and enjoyed your time there. It seemed all the men were taken with you and everyone wanted a piece of you. You felt great. 
“So, Jungkook, when is she gonna move out of your place?” Jin asked softly.
“Never! She’s mine.” Jungkook whispered possessively.
“Kook! Play nice.” Namjoon scolded.
“Sorry Joon. Y/N, do you wanna keep living with me?”
“It just occurred to me, I officially have nowhere to live. I happened to come here because of Jungkook.” You answered.
“It’s only right she stays with him. He brought her here,” Jimin nodded. “You like Jungkook a lot, Y/N?” You smiled sheepishly.
“Of course I do.” 
Jungkook and Jimin shared a smile before looking at you. You kept it in mind as you sat down next to Namjoon and snacked on some crackers. After a while, you all started talking about your kinks.
“I don’t know about that one, but try this on for size: when your partner has complete control over you, including when you breathe.” Namjoon laughed.
“Nah, breathplay is child’s play. I’m saying blindfolded bondage is where it’s at.” Taehyung smirked and said in rebuttal.
“I want—hear me out…to be bred. Like stuffed until it’s just cum leaking out of me, y’know?” You explained your kink to the men who were left in shock. All except Yoongi were surprised. 
“You’re such a whore, Y/N,” Yoongi smirked. “You want us to start now? Think you can handle it after yesterday?” He looked at you knowing damn well what he was doing.
“M-maybe not yet. I’m exhausted.” You explained.
They left it alone, shifting the topic as Jimin got some more food out for everyone. You and Jungkook stayed behind to help with cleanup. You suddenly felt Jimin’s lips on your shoulders, through your shirt.
“Chim, you should stop. You know I’m tired.”
“Yeah but I don’t wanna. I want you, Y/N.” You sighed at his plea.
“Okay.” You sighed as he picked you up and placed you on the counter. He swiftly removed your shirt and shorts, followed by your bra and underwear.
“Jimin! I got the leftovers in the tray—Oh.” Jungkook’s face fell when he saw him but then a mischievous smile appeared on his lips as he slipped next to him and joined in on torturing you.
You groaned. 
“Oh crap, Jimin I left my umbrella—” Namjoon stopped in his tracks and his eyes widened as he saw you naked on Jimin’s countertop. Jungkook smirked at him.
“You wanna tap in?” Jungkook smirked. “Me and Jimin were about to have another taste.” 
You gasped as Namjoon and Jimin were both inside you at the same time. Jungkook was watching, as he got more than enough from living with you. You felt them tearing your insides apart, reshaping your holes to fit their cocks. Jimin was entering you from behind, Namjoon in your pussy. Your eyes rolled back as Namjoon moaned and smacked your hips, making you recoil in surprise.
“So fucking tight. Fuck…fuck…” He groaned. “Take my cock…” His words encouraged you as you sighed and continued bouncing back on his cock, your ass smacking against Jimin’s hips every time you would go between them. One would snap his hips while the other pulled back, and it continued in a forbidden pattern. It felt like they were playing a game with you as their pawn.
“Fuck…her asshole is getting stretched out.” Jimin groaned, spitting on your rear end and spreading out his saliva with his fingers. You groaned as you felt your holes stretching out even more with the movements.
“J-Jungkook…I think I can take you too…” You said with uncertainty. You’ve never taken two in one hole before, let alone two in both holes. And now Jungkook was about to join. He sank down, between Namjoon and Jimin.
He slipped in…right into your pussy.
You screamed.
“JUNGKOOK!” 
The movements were becoming faster as the three men grunted in unison, their hips synced in a rhythm as they were closer to their climaxes. Your lips fell open, as you panted, while Namjoon’s face contorted into one of pain, which you assumed meant he was in total heaven. Your climax hit as Jungkook fucked up into you, reaching spots Namjoon missed, while Jimin’s cock rubbed against your inner walls in a different way. They split you apart as the decadent sex between the four of you sent your mind into its own Havana while you orgasmed.
Their cocks touched in ways they never would have thought of, as they finished inside of you. When they pulled out, cum was gushing out of your ass and pussy, while all you could do was watch helplessly.
“That’s a good slut.” Jimin smirked mischievously.
“She’s ours now.” Namjoon said, as if he was still in disbelief.
“I hope you liked being bred, baby. Because there’s a lot more where that came from.” Jungkook said, revealing his erection to you. 
“Again?” You asked.
“Honey, for you, always,” gave you a small smile. “Now open wide.”
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hobicakess · 2 years
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IT WAS THE MONSTERS! : COMING SOON!!
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SUMMARY: You were born with the ability to see and spot out spirts and monsters. From vampires, to werewolves, demons, ghost and ghouls. Now as an adult you use this “gift” to help your clients overcome their worst demons. The “gift” you had never really caused you trouble now that you’re an adult but you guess some monsters don’t like psychics interfere with their fun.
RATING: 18+
PAIRING: ot7 x reader | poly!au
TAGS: Yandere!au | Incubus!Jimin&Tae | Vampire!Seokjin | Vampling!Jungkook | Psychic!Yoongi | Werewolf!Namjoon | Demon?? Spirt?? Hoseok | Psychic!reader | Chubby!reader | Paranormal stuff | Crack fic? | Kinda a/b/o | Soulmate!au? | a mess chile
part 1
One night while you were closing your shop two men walked in one short and blond, the other dark haired, and taller than the other. They were both dangerously handsome and the energy that came from them was hot, sensual, and angry. The blond stormed up to you hissing, eyes turning an unnatural shade of black. “So you’re the one putting us out of business?”
Staring at his face you could definitely tell this was one of the men disrupting the lives of so many men and women. So many of your clients have complained about these two men being a one night stand at some club, then as days go on they invade their dreams, and every single thought. Jimin and Taehyung the dynamics incubus duo.
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daydreamer-writing · 1 year
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I saw Mommy kissing Santa Claus
← 4 { Bangtan Days 'till Christmas } → 6 Summary: Yoongi didn't know what to do with kids. Especially not with 3-year old Jungkook, but his Seokjin Hyung asked him to babysit, so who is he to refuse. Yoongi still didn't know what to do with kids, especially not with Jungkook, who just told him that he witnessed his mom kissing Santa Claus.
Rating: General Audiences
Pairing: Dad!Seokjin x Mom!Y/N
(Supporting Cast: Toddler!Jungkook & Uncle!Yoongi KindergardenTeachers!Namseok, KindergardenFriends!VMin)
WordCount: 2.6k
Tags: pure crack, i mean I turned JK into a cute lil toddler, don't ask anything please, I have lost control of my life ages ago, a tale of childhood innocence, comfort jin thrown in there cuz I need it
Songspiration: "I saw Mommy kissing Santa Claus"
Taglist: @monvante @jay-reads-the-good-shit @bellamuerte1987
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“I am really not sure if that’s a good idea hyung…”
Yoongi currently sat cross-legged on the floor of his best friend’s house. He knew Seokjin since High School and was roommates with him during college. Who would have known that one day it would come to this; Yoongi sighed.
He should have known the moment Seokjin started dating and fell in love with you. Should have known his comfortable days would be over. Yoongi loved you like a sister, amazed how well you fit into their friend group, genuinely grateful to call you his friend. To be honest it was fun having you around and you were good for Seokjin, adding a little bit of down-to-earthness into his hyung’s life. But this!?
“I don’t even know what to do with this thing!?” he looked up at you and Seokjin, who got ready to leave the house for a romantic date. Said thing stared at him with big black doe eyes.
“Yoongi-yah~ It’s not a thing. It’s Jungkook, and we all know you love him as much as he loves you.”, you said with a soft smile on your face. In the last three years you never regretted, asking Yoongi to be your first child’s godfather.
“But you never left me completely alone with him!? He can move now!?” “Yes. I am aware Yoongi. He turned three.”, your husband yelled from the kitchen. You tried to calm Yoongi’s nerves, knowing how anxious he could get with human interactions, especially when it was with a child. “Oppa look, he is big enough to have conversations now, so don’t worry too much. He’ll tell you when he needs something. We’ll be back in no time.”, you promised.
“Okay bunny, you’ll stay with Uncle Yoongi for a bit. Mommy and Appa will be back soon. Can you be a good boy and listen well to Uncle Yoongi?”, you crouched down to your son, finding him incredibly adorable, dressed in the outfit Yoongi bought him not long ago. Soft black locks peeked out from the cream-coloured beanie, that had little floppy bunny ears attached to it. Jungkook nodded continuously, his little bunny ears bouncing up and down.
“Awwwwwwwwwwww I really made the cutest most handsome little boy”, Seokjin, who just came out from the kitchen, cooed kissing his son goodbye. Yoongi didn’t want to admit it but the scene in front of his eyes, warmed his heart, but it also was diabetes inducing and he hated it. Jungkook smiled brightly peppering your face with little kisses before you all made your way to the front door. While you put on your shoes Jungkook was waving at you, bouncing in place excitedly.
When the door closed and you left your little bundle of joy with Yoongi, you were sure they’d be fine.
Yoongi on the other hand was not sure what to do now. He had his hands shoved deep into the pockets of his pants. He looked down at Jungkook and Jungkook looked up at him. Like this, the two of them looked at each other for a while in silence. “D-Do you want a snack?”, Yoongi asked Jungkook timidly, averting his gaze at the question. “Yeah!!”, Jungkook hollered and hopped into the kitchen with the biggest smile plastered across his face. Yoongi shuffled close behind him, determined not to let him out of his sight.
“Hyung brought some rice cakes. Do you like rice cakes?”, he asked staring down at the little creature next to his legs. “Hung?” “Yes Hyung. I am too young to be called uncle.” Jungkook nodded, not exactly understanding, but you raised him well, so he listened. “Oke. Yoongi Hyung.”
Yoongi smiled proudly, immediately regretting it. He was getting fond of it. Him! To distract himself, he grabbed a plate and put a few rice cakes onto it, carrying them back into the living room. The living room has changed a lot since Jungkook was born, the thing that stood out the most, were the light grey floor mats that been added. Yoongi couldn’t complain, they were thick and cushion-y and perfect to lounge around on. He enjoyed the softness under his socked feet. Jungkook followed his steps happily, the prospect of a snack exciting him enough to not see the edge of said floor mat, stumbling over it, falling face first onto it.
“Hey, you okay little one?”, Yoongi turned around in panic at the loud thud. Jungkook pouted, wondering if he really was fine, but then decided on “yes” and smiled. “Yeah! Ggukie okay!” Yoongi sighed. What point was it to cover your floor with mats to secure your child when it was the thing that hurt the child in the end. He had to talk to Seokjin about this later.
Jungkook scrambled back onto his legs and walked over to Yoongi. Only after Yoongi sat down, Jungkook followed suit, sitting down on his own legs, his little feet tucked under each other. He stared at Yoongi again with his big doe eyes. “You can eat.”, Yoongi mumbled, slightly uncomfortable under the curious stare of the toddler in front of him. Jungkook didn’t hesitate to dig in.
“This wasn’t going half bad.”, Yoongi concluded, nodding to himself, wondering what to do next. “Wanna listen to some music?”, he asked and Jungkook’s eyes lit up. “Ggukie loves music!!! M always dancing with Teacher Hobi and Chimchim!” Yoongi smiled, feeling proud that the little one in front of him inherited his and Seokjin’s passion for music.
“Did you know Yoongi Hyung is a rapper?”, he started but quickly realised he could not let a 3-year-old listen to Agust D tracks. Yoongi frowned, before he had another idea. “Wait, I think your dad has a guitar somewhere around here.”
Yoongi successfully returned with the guitar, sitting on the sofa strumming some songs. Jungkook swayed from left to right, enjoying the tunes. He clapped along for a while, until a big yawn escaped him. “Sleepy?”, Yoongi inquired and put the guitar aside.
Jungkook nodded and climbed up the sofa. Yoongi’s godson looked at him for a while, before climbing into Yoongi’s lap. Yoongi froze, but Jungkook didn’t seem to mind much, wiggling around to get comfortable. A big yawn escaped Jungkook. “H-Hey I am not a bed.”, Yoongi mumbled, but grabbed Jungkook’s blankie from the armrest anyway, draping it over him carefully.
It was quiet for a while, when Jungkook suddenly blurted his little secret out;
♫♪ I saw Mommy kissing Santa Claus Underneath the mistletoe last night She didn't see me creep Down the stairs to have a peep She thought that I was tucked up In my bedroom, fast asleep
Then I saw Mommy tickle Santa Claus Underneath his beard so snowy white Oh, what a laugh it would have been If daddy had only seen Mommy kissing Santa Claus last night ♪♫
“What?” Yoongi whipped his head down, looking at Jungkook shocked. “Y/N did what?” “Mommy gave Santa Claus a kiss! Saw it! Chimchiminie and Taetae Hyung saw too! In Kindergarten!” Jungkook grabbed the drawstrings of Yoongi’s black sweater and played around with it, while he continued his story:
Two days ago, Jungkook’s kindergarten held its annual Christmas sleepover. Jungkook was super excited as it was the first year that he was allowed to participate, finally having turned three years. His favourite Hyungs Jimin and Taehyung hyped him up and promised him, that Santa Claus would come early and bring them some presents.
Jungkook was a bit nervous to sleep at the huge building, so you volunteered to help. You really adored his classroom teachers, their dynamic being perfect for the kids, you observed. While Teacher Kim was a very quiet and smart guy, Teacher Jung hyped the kids up and showed them that it was totally fine to be themselves.
You and Seokjin have been really appreciative about what they did for your son, so it came natural to you to offer your help. During the daytime activities with the parents, Jungkook was nowhere to be seen, playing with his best friends Jimin and Taehyung. You talked to their parents over tea and coffee. Seokjin was his natural self, playing with the kids.
As the sun set, the parents were asked to help the children prepare their beds in the gym hall and then say goodbye. That was when Jungkook stuck to your side, not letting go of your hand. “Mommy you won’t leave when I sleep, right?”, he asked with a little pout.
“Of course not, bun!”, you assured him, and he gave you a soft peck onto your cheek, melting your heart with his bunny smile. Your little moment was interrupted by his father and Teacher Jung starting a pillow fight. You and Teacher Kim dashed over, scolding at the same moment. “Seokjin!? “Hob-ah!” “Ha ha ha ha, we just wanted to check if the pillows have good quality for the kids ha ha ha”, your husband tried to justify his childishness, earning him a playful slap on his arm from you.
“Why are you still here honey,… say goodbye to Ggukie and then off with you.”, you said, trying to be stern but soon melting for his coy smile. He kissed you softly before running over to Jungkook lifting the squealing boy up, planting small kisses all over his face. “Dad has to go help grandma and grandpa with something. Listen to your mom and teachers, okay?”
Jungkook nodded bravely, his pout and the tears forming in his eyes giving him away though. “Hey Hey Ggukie. You have RJ and Wooteo with you, right?” Jungkook nodded once more, wiping the tears from his face. “You are such a brave boy, I love you baby.”, Seokjin said and hugged his son tightly. “I am very proud of you. I'll come back for you in no time”, he added, looking at you concerned. It was Jungkook’s first time sleeping somewhere else, and you could see that it was a big deal for him.
“And if you are too scared, then hide behind your teachers. I was having a pillow fight with Teacher Jung and even though daddy won, he is quite strong! And look at your teacher Kim; his arm is bigger than your body ggukie. Nothings gonna happen. And on top of that, your mom is the scariest in here, no one will dare to bother you all as long as she is here.” You rolled your eyes at your husband's antics, but it seemed to work. Jungkook smiled and hugged his father goodbye.
Needless to mention, the teacher duo prepared all sorts of activities to exhaust the children in time for bedtime. Jungkook has been singing and dancing and running around with his two best friends all evening, falling asleep immediately when you tucked him into his sleeping bag in between of Jimin and Taehyung. He didn’t even hear the end of the bedtime story Teacher Kim read for the kids, neither did Teacher Jung who feel asleep under a pile of children.
After all the children were asleep, Teacher Kim plugged the baby monitor in, tucking the parental unit in his dungarees. “Misses Kim, let’s head into the teacher lounge for some tea, shall we?” You followed him downstairs offering him your first name. “Very well, call me Namjoon then.”, he smiled. The two of you talked for an hour or two, before he excused himself. You stayed behind, waiting for the arrival of the presents.
Upon first impression one might think of Teacher Jung to be the irresponsible funny guy and Teacher Kim to be the serious leader, but in fact it often was the other way around. The thing was, Kim Namjoon was clumsy, more than the average person. So, while his co-worker Jung Hoseok was fast asleep, Namjoon managed to forget the baby monitor by the sink, when he left after brushing his teeth. He also managed to trip over a plushie and stumble right into the reading lamp, almost knocking the thing over, causing a rather loud ruckus. Even in the darkness, he clearly saw Jung Hoseok’s judgemental glance from across the room.
Luckily none of the children were affected, or so he thought. Just when Namjoon laid down, Jungkook decided to look for you, unable to fall back asleep. “Mommy is probably in the grown-up bathroom”, he concluded, sneaking out of the gym hall to go downstairs. After all you promised not to leave, and he believed you. Little Jungkook held onto the banister, hopping down a stair at a time, his thick socks cushioning the noise.
♫♪ Mommy’s kissing Santa Claus Mommy’s kissing Santa Claus  ♪♫
“Hey baby.”, he heard your voice and peeked down to see you standing right in front of Santa Claus. A little gasp escaped Jungkook, but he quickly covered his mouth. When he saw you kissing Santa Claus on the nose softly, he rushed back upstairs.
“I need to wake TaeTae Hyung. Santa is here and Mommy kissed him.”, Jungkook thought, rushing back upstairs, stopping at the door. He listened carefully if his teachers were up, because he knew he wasn’t supposed to be awake right now, but he heard the familiar snore of Teacher Kim and felt safe to sneak back inside.
♫♪ Mommy’s kissing Santa Claus ♫♪
“TaeTae!”, Jungkook whispered, shaking his beloved hyung. “Ggukie~”, Taehyung cooed, grabbing the little boy by the neck, hugging him tightly. “Sleep Ggukie”, he mumbled before drifting back to sleep. “Noooooo”, Jungkook struggled to escape from his grip. His very own Mommy was kissing Santa Claus right now and they needed to see! There was no time to sleep, Jungkook pouted.
He needed them to wake up… “Jiminshi!!”, Jungkook turned around shook Jimin awake. “Why do you keep calling me Jiminsshi…”, 5 year old Jimin grumbled. “Quick! Mommy is kissing Santa Claus!! Come with me you need to see!” “Santa!?”, Taehyung exclaimed, sitting up straight. “Shhhhhhhh Hyung!”, Jungkook covered his mouth, looking around nervous. “Let’s go.”, Jimin exclaimed, and the trio once again snuck out of the gym.
♫♪ I saw Mommy kissing Santa Claus ♫♪
In the meantime, you were giggling downstairs, your front pressed to Santa Claus. “You know you didn’t have to dress up too, bringing the presents would have been fine.” “Yeah but I wanted to be totally incognito! This is supposed to be a big secret,…”, Santa laughed, grabbing you by the hips. “Now where is my present?”, you laughed. The Santa mischievously pointed up to the mistletoe above your heads, and pulled you in for a passionate kiss, while the trio sat on the stair, staring, not believing their eyes.
♫♪ I saw Mommy kissing Santa Claus Underneath the mistletoe last night She didn't see me creep Down the stairs to have a peep She thought that I was tucked up In my bedroom, fast asleep
Then I saw Mommy tickle Santa Claus Underneath his beard so snowy white Oh, what a laugh it would have been If daddy had only seen Mommy’s kissing Santa Claus I saw Mommy kissing Santa Claus ♪♫
...
Yoongi took a deep breath. Yoongi didn’t know what to do with kids. Especially not with Jungkook, who just told him that his mommy had kissed Santa Claus.
He absentmindedly ran his fingers through Jungkook’s hair, wondering what part of his childhood innocence he should ruin. Tell him that it was his dad under the costume and in fact Santa Claus didn’t exist or tell him that you actually aren’t allowed to kiss random strangers, even if they were the famous Santa.
 “But Yoongi Hyung, it’s a secret.”, Jungkook mumbled, before drifting off to sleep.
And with that Yoongi decided to just leave it be and wait for little Jungkook to grow a bit older.
He did text in the group chat though:
You guys better tell me that Seokjin’s new hobby is dressing up as Santa Claus for children and their son did not just tell me he witnessed Y/N cheating on him with another Santa.
The voicemessage of both of you laughing hysterically, calmed him down. At least Yoongi's childhood innocence was still left intact. True love did exist and the proof of it currently snoozed in his lap.
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honey-boyyoongi · 1 year
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Pairing ➪ Reader x Yoongi||Part 53//??
Word count ➪ 2.7k
Warnings ➪ it’s not beta-ed; any mistakes are mine; cursing; alcohol; toxic family dynamics; if your name is crossed out it’s because I couldn’t tag you;
Summary ➪ Min Yoongi, is a simple man. He likes his coffee black and iced, he enjoys his job, and he loves his baby girl. But what happens when the new neighbor, quite literally, drops into his life?
A/n: Hey besties. Here’s a new one for y’all. I swear we’re not always gonna be angsty, but let’s be real it’s gonna be like this for a bit. Also thank you to all the besties that binge read this fic and WWDITS and my other works. I really appreciate y’all 💕 As always feedback is appreciated and if you want to be added to the tag list please let me know 💕
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_
Bee
16:55
I’m dropping Haneul off with Seokjin. 
18:01
You can let yourself in.
-
Yoongi had spent hours in agony trying to muster up a proper apology. His brothers had given him the scolding of a lifetime. He knew his hyung never said he was disappointed in him, out loud, but Jungkook was another issue. His younger brother didn’t have to verbalize his disappointment, his attitude said it all. Jungkook was communicating the bare minimum needed, his face was always neutral. Yoongi felt like he deserved the youngest’s cold treatment. 
They talked as they worked. Yoongi felt like he hadn't spoken to his friends intimately in a long time. Seokjin had offered to be there as a neutral party, but they decided it was a conversation best done alone. His hyung decided to look after Hanuel instead, offering that she spend the night, in case Yoongi needed space afterwards. His brothers helped straighten his thoughts out, suggesting he make a list of his major points as to prevent any further miscommunication. Jungkook also encouraged him to be honest about his parents, Minji, and his feelings about her, if he felt comfortable of course. 
Yoongi wanted to stall going home, but his brothers had left as soon as they finished their part. Seokjin would go to his place first to receive Hani, while Jungkook picked up Jinwoo. He wanted to get lost in the pile of paperwork in front of him, but it was useless. No matter how much he wanted to avoid the situation, it would still be there the longer he stayed sitting in his office. 
Yoongi had spent the drive home calming himself down. He knew he fucked up by lashing out, and he’s not above admitting his wrong doings when he’s called out on his shit. He just hopes it’s not too late to fix things. 
-
___ has been stress cleaning her house for the last few hours. She had even made it into a game with Haneul, and the toddler enjoyed feeling included. An hour in Hani retreated into her favorite corner on the sectional, burrito wrapped in her favorite halloween blanket. By 5:15 pm Seokjin was waving her off with Hani on his hip. 
By 5:54 pm Bee had vacuumed her living room, rearranged her cutlery, fixed her spice cabinet, made two types of tea, and stress screeched. At first she was dead-set on refusing to speak with Yoongi, but after seeing her tweet, Jungkook texted her: 
“He knows he fucked up, we’ve told him why, and how he fucked up. You guys need to talk. You don’t have to forgive him afterwards, but let him explain some things to you. I’m not excusing him, or trying to apologize for him.”
Knowing Jungkook was in her corner made Bee confident. She’d hear Yoongi out for her best friend’s sake, but after this she was sure she’d be avoiding him for a while. By 6:10 pm the dial tones of her door being unlocked alerted her of Yoongi’s arrival. Bee heard the rustle of paper bags, and clashing containers. She could hear the older man flicking his shoes off, and his keys jingling. It felt like any other night when they would eat dinner together; Lo-fi was gently playing in the background, Bee had cleaned up Hani’s play corner, and was wondering if take-out or a big bowl of cereal was going to be tonight’s dinner. 
Yoongi walked into Bee’s living room, sleeves rolled up and wrinkled, two big paper bags, and his black tote bag. He quasi-lifted the bags, “Sorry for being late. I brought chinese food, and some soju to help us be a little less tense.” ___ nodded in acknowledgement, making her way to her kitchen to grab cups. 
They ate their dinner in silence, little butterflies fluttering in ___’s tummy because Yoongi had remembered her order, and that she preferred peach soju. Neither of them had opened a bottle yet, opting to save them for when their talk would officially begin. Bee pushed her spicy orange chicken around, noticing Yoongi wasn’t faring any better. He had yet to touch his sweet and sour pork, or his black bean noodles. Neither of them could pretend to have appetites. 
___ put their containers back into the take out bags, double checking that the containers were properly sealed. She came back with the chilled bottles of soju, pouring a shot for herself and Yoongi. Bee nodded at him, mumbling a small ‘cheers' downing the large shot. She cringed, waiting for Yoongi to drink his. 
Yoongi hesitated, but eventually drank the initial large shot, and quickly drank another. It looked like ___ wasn’t the only one who needed liquid courage to get through tonight. “I’m sorry,” Yoongi croaked, “I shouldn’t have lashed out at you. I shouldn’t have said that you weren’t my friend. I shouldn’t have said anything horrible to you.”
“Why did you,” she asked. 
Yoongi sighed, “I haven’t been entirely honest with what’s been going on with my parents. We got into a fight, well my mother and I did.”
“What does that have to do with what you said,” Bee quipped. She poured herself another shot, wanting to keep up with the older man. 
Yoongi watched her drink her second shot. He waited for her glass to be placed down to pour another one for the both of them. They clinked their glasses together, mumbling small ‘cheers’. “Remember when I told you about Hani’s birth mom?” ___ nodded. “Well, that was the short, non-shit show version of it.” The older man poured her another shot, drinking his straight from the bottle to get the remnants. “What’s the shit show version, “she asked as she drank her fourth shot. 
Her friend scoffed, “The shit show version? Currently I'm still living it.” Yoongi slouched further onto the floor, back meeting her couch at a curve. “Minji, and I had known each other for a year when she found out she was pregnant. We had been freshly broken up, maybe a month or so when she told me. It was too late for a termination, so she decided to tell me of what she planned. Originally, she was going to give up Hani for adoption. While I respected her choice of not wanting to be a parent, I didn’t want that. I asked for full custody of my daughter. It took a while for her to accept, but she agreed. Around the fourth month mark, when she started to show, we agreed that we had to tell my parents. We did, well, Minji did for the most part. Mom couldn’t fathom a woman not wanting to keep her child, so she tried to convince Minji to stay.”
“Is that why your mom hates me? She thinks I’m trying to replace Hani’s mom,” Bee says. Yoongi shakes his head in disapproval, “You can’t replace what she never had.” 
“Your mom seems to think so,” she replied. 
“My mom,” Yoongi starts, “My mother is complicated. She thinks she knows best, even if you explain to her why you’re choosing to do something and how it's better for you, she still believes she’s in the right.” The older man reaches over for an unopened bottle of soju, wanting to pour himself another shot before he gets to the nitty, gritty parts. 
The pair drink another two drinks back to back to continue. “Mom begged, pleaded, attempted to compromise with Minji, but she wouldn’t change her mind. I always told mom to back off, this was Minji’s choice and we should respect it.”
“Were you ever scared that Minji would change her mind,” ___ asked. 
“Yes, and no,” Yoongi answered. “Back then I would’ve been ecstatic if Minji had wanted to co-parent. We would’ve figured it out, somehow. More than anything I feared that she would give in to what my mom wanted, at the time it was for her to stay against her will. Mom wanted us to be a ‘family’. I think she was trying to save face.”
“What do you mean?”
“Remember when I told you about my grandparents not really being there for my aunt and mom,” Yoongi brought up. Bee nodded, egging him to continue. “Mom had to raise my aunt. My grandmother was always working, and doing who knows what, with whomever she decided was her date for the week. Now those are my mom’s words not mine. From what I’ve always been able to tell, mom always craved some form of validation that she didn’t get from my grandparents.”
“What about her father?”
Yoongi shrugged, “Dunno, s’far as I know mom’s dad wasn’t really there either. Mom said he was always working too. Grandma got remarried sometime around them being older, not really sure, we stopped talking to her when I was really young. I don’t remember much of her. Grandpa passed before I was born, so I never met him.”
“M’sorry,” Bee whispered. Yoongi reached over for the soju once more, “S’kay.” While he was busy, ___ took a moment to really look at the older man. His face had grown flush from how quickly they were ingesting the alcohol. His button up, which is usually crisp, is wrinkled. His left thumbnail has been picked at, and his hair is disheveled. Bee stands up from the floor, a bit wobbly at that, making her way to get her band aid kit. She comes back signaling Yoongi to sit on the couch instead of the hard floor. ___ cleans the picked nails, reminding herself to be gentle every time Yoongi hisses at the sting of the disinfectant wipe. She finishes him off with some hello kitty band aids, specially chosen for her by her niece. “There, now, please stop picking at them. It's bad for you, and Hanuel could pick up the habit,” she says. 
Yoongi nodded, pouting like a scolded child, inspecting his bandages. “Thank you. I’ve been trying to stop. These are cute, did you get them because of Hani?” ___ shook her head, “Nope. My niece likes to give me random things sometimes; rocks, drinks with cute bottles, stickers, cute band aids. She’s like a penguin.” The older man smiled, taking in the little designs, “I like them, might steal them from you.” 
___ scoffed, “The hell you will, those are MY special band aids. You’re lucky I even let you have some.” She watched as Yoongi let out a jovial laugh, “Okay, okay, I get it they’re yours.” In the midst of that Bee hadn’t realized how close she’d gotten to Yoongi. Their thighs were pressed against each other, shoulders were clashing, and she could feel the heat coming off of him. This close up she could see his beauty marks, as well as imperfections on his skin. His eyes were a beautiful color of chocolate brown, and were even more charming with his eyes having mismatching lids. His lips were glossy, a bit bitten, and rosy. In the last few months of knowing the older man he’d grown his hair out to his shoulders, and it drove her crazy with how good it looked on him. He’d put it up in a half bun, from how often it bothered him, but he refused to cut it. His face creeped closer, and she could smell the alcohol and mint from his daily gum chewing. She wanted to give in, to kiss the handsome man in front of her. Get lost in each other for the night hoping that it would solve everything, but it wasn’t just them, they had Haneul to think about. 
___ turned away, picking up the trash from helping Yoongi. The older man sighed, “M’sorry, we shouldn’t be doing that.” Bee nodded in agreement, “Continue with your story.”
Yoongi leaned his head back, trying to remember, “Where were we?” “Minji and 50/50 custody,” ___ answered. He snapped his fingers in response, “Right! So, mom couldn’t fathom a woman, or anyone not wanting to be a parent, she was determined to change Minji’s mind. Obviously that didn’t happen. In the last months of her pregnancy my mom tried to convince Minji that everyone is scared, blah, blah, blahh. It got to the point where my mother told me, not asked, that she would be taking custody of my daughter.”
___ stared at her older friend in surprise, “What? You can’t be serious?”
“As a heart attack dude,” he replied. “It didn’t help that I had fought with her a few days before.”
“Was it over Minji,” Bee asked.
“No,” Yoongi answered, “Remember how I said my aunt has control issues?” ___ shrugged, a little confused, but it could also be the soju not helping her memory, “I don’t, but not to sound disrespectful, if she’s anything like your mother I don’t need the runthrough.”
Yoongi splayed himself across the couch, making sure his head was facing Bee, “If you think my mom is a handful, oof, my auntie is worse. Anyways, I got into a fight with my mom over my auntie being too controlling over my cousins, I’ll tell you about that another day, but the gist of it was me feeling like my mom was trying to control my decisions. Even though I had already made a plan, was executing that plan, and had made that plan with Minji. That fight led my mother into telling me she would take custody of Hani until me and Minji got our shit together. Which made me angry, obviously, I’m a grown man, I knew what I was doing. Knowing my mother we would never get Hani back until we met her terms. She tried until the last moment to convince Minji, but thankfully she never changed her mind. The first 6 or so months of Hanuel’s life, my parents were not involved at all. Ever since I allowed, sorry, ever since my mother decided she would ‘forgive me for not taking her advice’, it has been an annoying fight of back and forth. She was always trying to push the boundaries I set, and I would push back. It hadn’t gotten as bad as it did then, than the current fight we’re in. She’s demanded custody of Hani a handful of times because I won't listen to her.”
___ felt her throat dry a bit, feeling guilty, “I’m sorry being friends with me has caused so many issues with your parents.” 
Yoongi waved his hand in dismissal. “The issues with my mother have been ongoing for gods know how long. Don’t feel bad.”
“Is that why you got mad at me,” she asked, “because I didn’t give you a choice?”
The older man nodded slightly, “I know you were truly only trying to help me, but it made me feel frustrated. I know what you did is completely different from my mother’s actions, but for a moment I felt like I was back in my parent’s kitchen being told that my daughter wouldn’t be with me. I’m sorry for lashing out at you.”
Bee sniffled, “It’s okay, it’s not, but I understand now. I’m sorry for making you uncomfortable. I just wanted to help because I care about Haneul, and about you. I didn’t want you getting stressed out over your work, and Hani being uncomfortable at your office.”
“I’m also sorry for saying you’re not my friend,” he adds. “I don’t know what to call what we are, we’ve gone past being friends.”
“Heh, platonic besties raising a kid,” ___ jokes.
Yoongi chortled, “Sure, why not. Actually, Jungkookie and Jinnie Hyung would probably fight us over that title.”
“Aren’t they dating? I swear Kookie spends more time at Seokjin’s than at his place,” she asks. 
“So get this…” 
They spent the rest of the night trying to figure out if their respective best friends are somehow more, apologizing to each other, and Yoongi spilling his family’s dirty laundry. Not once did they dare speak about the quasi-kiss, but it made ___ more aware of the older man’s lingering stares. The way he clinged to her every word, and how his body leaned more into her. They didn’t know what they were, but they didn’t need to know now. They’d figure it out, eventually. 
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park-jimin-isnt-real · 9 months
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"dusk" masterlist
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pairing(s): yoongi x reader (endgame); kai (exo) x reader; kai x oc (endgame); side namhope, jinkook, vmin rating: PG-16 genre: twilight au, urban fantasy(ish) romance current total wc: n/a
summary: When you moved to Forks, Washington, you only expected awkward conversations with your adopted sister's biological father and a lot of rain. You did not expect to see the love of your life walk through the high school cafeteria doors - especially when you thought he died back in 1918. But Yoongi doesn't remember you, and believes you to be fully human. With the seemingly endless amount of danger coming your way, how long can you keep the act up?
tw: angst, depression, suicide attempt, violence, fights, murder, blood drinking, liar revealed storyline, fluff & crack, yoongi and a piano, mint yoongi, so many kpop groups and soloists, chaotic taehyung, covering twilight-new moon-eclipse, i am not touching breaking dawn, nearly everyone goes by their real name not their stage name ~ this will be updated as the series goes on!
read on ao3 ~ read on wattpad character profiles playlist ~ faq moodboards ~ characters ~ pt.1 main masterlist
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act i ~ dusk
prologue: when dusk falls ~ one: and they were roommates ~ two: just another fucking monday
three: they always say 'i can explain!' but they never get the chance to ~ four: in case you haven't noticed, i'm weird. i'm a weirdo. ~ five: rule #1: the doctor lies
six: get in loser, we're going shopping ~ seven: hi, welcome to chili's ~ eight: my brand of heroine
nine: "be myself", what kind of garbage advice is that? ~ ten: late-night interview with a vampire ~ eleven: and then i didn't
twelve: the iconic baseball scene ~ thirteen: there's only one snacc here and it's me ~ fourteen: how to run from the mess you've made
fifteen: not everywhere you fit in is where you belong ~ sixteen: was that the bite of '87?! ~ seventeen: it's just a flesh wound
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act ii ~ dark
eighteen: and you did it at my birthday dinner ~ nineteen: as if i never existed ~ twenty: don't cry, craft!
twenty-one: it is wednesday my dudes ~ twenty-two: top 10 anime betrayals ~ twenty-three: take a number
twenty-four: at least there's a dog ~ twenty-five: wishful thinking, mindless dreaming ~ twenty-six: a world so dark
twenty-seven: so maybe i'm not okay ~ twenty-eight: v is for validation ~ twenty-nine: we could be
thirty: my past, my future, my hell ~ thirty-one: now would be a good time to be anyone but me ~ thirty-two: orpheus and eurydice
twenty-three: late-night interview with a half-vampire ~ thirty-four: feel my wrath and extreme self-doubt ~ thirty-five: how to be a failure 101
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act iii ~ dawn
thirty-six: oh my god they were roommates ~ thirty-seven: howdy-do, fellow kids ~ thirty-eight: it's murder time
thirty-nine: the fine art of bullshit ~ forty: hey guys, i'm really trying here ~ forty-one: alexa, intruder alert
forty-two: thanks, i hate it ~ forty-three: you, bulletproof, in black like a funeral ~ forty-four: prom (an important high school rite of passage)
forty-five: there's no 'i' in 'justice league' ~ forty-six: the blood on your hands ~ forty-seven: probably unethical experimentation
forty-eight: i promise to love you forever ~ forty-nine: late-night interview with a werewolf ~ fifty: murder time is now almost exclusively the time, always
fifty-one: for what it's worth ~ fifty-two: t.g.i.f. ~ epilogue: dawn was breaking
48 notes · View notes
Text
Winner, Winner: Teaser
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Pairings: OC/??, OC/??, OCs/Platonic!BTS
Synopsis: In 2021, Hybe creates a contest for ARMY to win the chance to spend up to two weeks with BTS. The catch? There is only one Butter Album that has the winning ticket.
WARNING: This is a crack fic, it is also an SMAU so expect the unexpected.
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46 notes · View notes
icravebooks · 1 year
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Troubled Paradise
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Part 2
Yoongixreader
Genre:arranged marriage au, strangers to fiance to partner??, crack?? Angst if you squint your eyes. Ceo yoongi, spoiled brat reader, Richie rich vibes.
Sumarry: getting engaged wasn't in yoongi's plan and handling your spoiled brat tantrums wasn't either. Now that he realises there might be more to it than he wants to give space to.
Warnings: not anything I would consider warning but a little bit of swearing, the maknaes being idiots, the reader is being a brat, HAND HOLDING!!, praising of yoongi's dick (because he got big dick energy), jealously???maybe???or surely???
Word count: 5.2k
Side note: part 3 will surely come because I am not leaving you guys dry and high after making you fantasies about yoongi's glorious hands and dick.
Part 1. Part 3
One thing you learned in two weeks of knowing yoongi was that all you would recieve from him as answer are just grunts and nods, maybe if you used some pixie dust and neverlands luck you could get him to speak.
How did you ended up getting engaged to him again? Yeah the mother fucker had the nerve to still say yes after you quite shamelessly layed out to him that you wanted to see if his dick was just how jimin made you fantasies. To say that you were shocked would be wrong, you should have expected it yoongi knew the hidden motive he knew what you were trying to do, you knew because it was fun being the overly chattering one to see right through people's intention.
You weren't mad though if anything it was  much more interesting , yoongi was a sport you wanted to play, it was like a personal mission for you to see just how many buttons you could push before he would combust, your inner brat liked this, god you have been craving for some challenge for as long as you could remember and this was exactly the opportunity you had been looking for.
You had heard enough about him to know just how he was viewed by people the stoic no joke man who talked only buisness beside that people doubt if he really knew emotions, you didn't though you have been constantly taking every chance to get under his skin make him flustered or atleast annoyed but yoongi has heck too much patience and you Don't.
This is why you couldn't handle seeing him stare at some women across the room who was wait who was she? and why was she even here?, you didn't give a fuck about her but why was yoongi looking at her like that?
That look of pure attraction, Don't tell he was  thinking of hooking up with her.
Ofcourse you knew he wasn't a Saint, he obviously had experience and you weren't an ignorant person, you knew a man had experience when you saw one. perks of having three idiotic handsome best friends, "you know if you keep staring like that he will sense your jealousy." Jungkook's voice sounded amused so amused that it made your body feel like a rocket with just how raged you were, you couldn't possibly consider culpable homicide in a room filled with so many namely people ranging from celebs, buisness to actors.
Why were you here though?, Why did you had to accept that damn invitation?,was a night away from that darn house you called home really that tempting?, or was it the fact that your parents still were being extremely edgy with your wedding date set within a month, wedding huh you would have scoffed if you weren't glaring so hard at your best friend.
Your betrothed didn't have time to come say hi to you, stupid arrogant cocky smug hot asshole, if you didn't liked playing around with him so much you sure would have murdered him by now.
"I have the right to be jealous." You reasoned sounding like a child who was about to start whining while stomping  her foot just because she wasn't getting attention, who are we kidding you never had attention even when you were a kid maybe that is why it was burning your inside, a gasp sounding from your other side made you sigh dramatically, "did you just admit you like him?" Taehyung was the one who snickered from behind when Jimin sang out the question a little too loud that it made a few people look at you all.
Great
Gossip news: y/n likes her husband to be who was supposed to be an arranged one, is it a love match?
You glared at your said friend lips turned up in a tight smile, "no I don't but he is supposedly my betrothed so I have every single right to be jealous." You argued shrugging, Tae patted your back coming to stand beside you pushing jimin to the side only to make you smile while jimin whined like the little spoiled brat he was.
"Want some cupcakes jelly beans?" Taehyung was always the one to comfort you, if he even teased you it would never go to the point that you would get riled up, jimin on the other hand loved pissing you to the point that you wanted to choke slam him, jungkook was the mix of both but mostly he was the caring one.
"Poor sweets has to settle for cupcakes while some other bitch is gonna get our sweets share of dick." Jungkook teased faking sadness pouting while he gave your back a sympathetic pat, you shrugged his hands of you harshly turning you glare at him before walking away from them.
That was the last straw, no maybe it was the fact that you could see the women making her way to your  fiance, murder wasn't legal right?, you didn't stop until you were face to side with none other than min yoongi, sorry to the one's you didn't say sorry for all the stamps and pushing when you were on this death mission.
Yoongi didn't noticed you not until you stepped into his personal space and decided that it was still fashionable to link arms with him like the 18th century or to grip on his bicep making sure to not let him know that you weren't exactly happy to see him gawking at someone else.
Your sudden action seemed to have brought the male to earth as he turned his face to look at you, damn those feline eyes for making your heart do weird things, "I didn't knew you were in attendance." Yoongi commented brows furrowing as to why you were standing so close to him and why were you holding his arm, was being on his mind most the time not enough that you had to now make him remember that you always smelled like vanilla and coffee.
"Maybe If you weren't so busy undressing that chick with your gaze you would have noticed." Your words were stated in a teasing way but yoongi could see the way your jaw was set so tight your teeths were close to gritting, wait were you jealous?..no that can't be, why would you be jealous?, you didn't liked him and not like he wanted you to, he might have agreed to marry you but he didn't want to fall for you, he wanted to stay as far away as possible, because you were too much.
You were too good to be true and he didn't knew if he deserved something so good.
You didn't know what to make out from the way his eyes turned a little wide but his expression remained the same level stoic and controlled, you forced back the acidic feeling of jealous down your throat and actually get back to your usual behaviour.
"You know she ain't going to be the one standing at that altar opposite you, it will be me." You teased pouting lightly to make him feel that you were just being mocking angry, god you didn't had to make him see just how plump and kissable your lips were, yoongi sighed closing his eyes before turning his face away from you.
He knew there was no point in asking you to get away from him or behave because he learned in this two weeks you never liked being ordered around and did exactly what was asked not be done, he didn't expect your next move though, he didn't move when you grabbed his chin gently with your one hand and turned his face towards you once again.
He swear he had to remind himself to breathe when he saw the way you were looking at him, it wasn't the usual playful boyish look but rather a demanding and bratty look that he had yet to see on you, ofcourse he should have know you were a territorial spoiled brat.
Ofcourse he should have known you wouldn't be happy to see him eyeing some other women, he didn't exactly cared about the women he just needed something to get his mind of you, you had been pushing his button a lot and he didn't wanted to count back how many attempts you have already made to make him lose his cool.
"Eyes on me love." Your seductive voice went all the way down to his cock, the way you said it wait why were you friends with those three idiot who were famous for their flirting?
"Did you drink or something?" Yoongi's voice was bored restraining the whole amount of adrenaline rush he felt at your behaviour.
You pouted at his words clicking your tounge before your facade fell and you burst into a tiny train of giggles, you told yourself it had nothing to do with the fact That you could feel that bitch staring at you. If yoongi thought you were drunk or mentally ill he didn't exactly show it just that downturn smile of his.
Gosh what would you give to see him smile with his whole heart, probably a kidney not your own you had three idiots to spare on that, yoongi couldn't bear the sight anymore not when you were looking so adorably sexy, how was it possible to look both the ways at the same time, god he wanted to grab your face and smooch you so bad, he had to gain his self control this wasn't healthy, you  weren't healthy.
He had to keep his lips busy or he wouldn't be responsible for what happens in a room filled with so many people, so he summoned as much self restrain as he could and looked around to spot a waiter nearby, luckily there was one just around the corner so he didn't had to wait much longer to get a glass of wine.
Great wine is good for the heart, it is healthy.
He sipped on the wine not taking his eyes away from the crowd of people, he could see people staring at you both he knew there was Gossip, ofcourse there was gossip why would you and him every agree to marry?, yoongi didn't knew what left a bitter taste in his mouth his own thoughts or the wine that he just gulped down.
"why would I need drinks when I have such an intoxicating fiance?" You knew you were shamelessly and you expected it to get a flustered yoongi or either a pissed one but why was it that you always decided to say the most weirdest thing when he was drinking or eating, did you wanted him to choke and die.
Or did you really thought that was the way to call this marriage off.
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10 days
Yes that was all there was left for the final strike, yoongi didn't knew why he felt so blank, he wasn't sure what he really wanted this time, did he wanted to marry you?, did he wanted to call off this all, did he wanted you?, he would a fool to say that he didn't craved you, he was starving for you but he wasn't going to touch you, no he had his principles and he knew that if he touches you once he would never he able to step back but he didn't knew if he was capable of love and in all honestly you deserved love.
It wasn't helping nope, he couldn't concentrate not when you kept calling him at the most ridiculous time to ask a rather random question, like the other day you called him at three in the morning just to ask him what were his theories about what was on the other side of the black hole, you didn't seemed even a single cent hazed or sleepy infact you were so cheery it made him doubt you were human.
It was like that, the next time you had randomly dropped by his office just to ask him if he knew that titanic movie was shoot in a warm pool, Yoongi was known as a patient man but even he had his limits, but somehow you seemed to have pushed away all his limits.
He doubted that if people saw the way he was around you they would start questioning the image he had gained in public opnion, still he never pushed you away or told you that you were annoying him because he never felt annoyed also he didn't wanted to push you away, yoongi didn't knew you much but he had enough conversation (even if you were the only one who talked.) To know that you felt neglected, he swear he could see the rejection flash in your eyes the moment he would open his mouth to speak, he could see that you are expecting him to tell you off but he never does.
His heart ached when you would accidentally blurt out some past rejection from family and would try to disguise it as sarcasm, god he wished he could give you the world wait..was he..no he couldn't..he already felt guilty enough to ruining your chances of finding love but he knew if it was not him then it would be someone else, he would rather have you close than see you unhappy with another man.
He couldn't imagine you being told to shut up or disrespected, be couldn't..and that made him think a lot of things but he concluded that it was just sympathy that's all, not that he would tell you.
A forlorn sigh escaped him as he sat up straight in his chair some of the people sitting close to him turned his way, they looked scared expecting yoongi to put in words and say that the project they worked so hard on was complete thrash but honestly yoongi was too last to catch on whatever it was that was being displayed.
"Start from the tenth slide again." Yoongi commanded licking his dry lips and giving in his attention to the meeting, yes he had to concentrate...why are you calling him right now?,and why did his heart skipped beats?, knowing you wouldn't stop spamming him until he picked yoongi had no choice but to answer your call.
"You better not ask me what I think about multiverse." Yoongi nonchalantly answered trying to keep his voice devoid of emotions or hide the fact that he was actually enjoying her stupid calls, "I already asked you that and ..don't tell me you forgot!" Your voice turned from amused to betraying (dramatic) angry making yoongi furrow his brows while he tried to remember what exactly would have it been that he forgot, he remember everything you tell him.
"Forgot what?" He kept his stoic tone and personality intact remembering that the room was still filled with people, he knew people hanging on every word trying to find something worth gossiping about, a gasp sounded from other side of the phone followed by the sound of rushed footsteps he could hear your idiot trio bickering about something in the back but he didn't mind to them.
"How could you forget such an important day?" You sounded way bratty almost whining if you were being like this it wasn't serious, it couldn't be serious. He sighed pinching the bridge of his nose closing his eyes, "the wedding is in ten days y/n no other important in between not any to the point I am informed." Yoongi tried to keep his voice annoyed but he knew he didn't sounded like his usual annoyed self would, his voice was way hushed and soft to sound anywhere near his usual one.
He waited patiently to hear whatever it was that had to this angry but what he was met with was you hanging up, yoongi pulled his phone away from his ear to stare at the screen, did you just hung up on him?, Why were you angry again?, did he really forget some important info?
He dailed your number again but you straight out rejected his call, now he was starting to get concerned, yoongi knew how to deal with an energetic you but he didn't knew how to deal with a you who didn't want to talk .
He rose up from his seat ready to go find you wherever you were probably your cafe or your home, heck he would get your location pinned down by his IT guys if that was what it took, "reschedule this meeting." Yoongi didn't wait for any response having made his declaration there was no point in waiting, however he couldn't even take a step forward when the conference rooms door open rather in an not so graceful manner to reveal you.
Standing there with your arms folded eyes glaring at him and lips pressed tightly into a straight line, this wasn't what he expected not you in a cute little sundress that stopped a few inches below your knee a slit on the right leg that run up to a good decent length of your thigh, the dress fitting perfectly against torsos and the bell sleeves that stopped inches above your elbow, the cute little pastel coloured flower printed on the creamy soft breathable fabric, your hair pulled back in a low bun a few strands left to frame your face.
"Y/n?" Yoongi couldn't hide his surprise at the sudden attack by you, he wasn't being Delusional right?, you were really standing their looking so beautiful in a simple sundress, was this supposed to be the moment he was going to realise he had feelings for you?, it didn't looked that way not when you were glaring at him as if he had stole those favourite chocolate teddies of yours which you had told him you kept reserved for the children (from the school ten minutes away from your cafe) who came often to visit your cafe.
"You really don't remember?" You questioned ignoring everyone else who was present in the room, beside it wasn't like you were going to back down or feel embarrassed for bragging in here, you were getting married to the man who was head here, atleast you could be this bratty.
Yoongi bit his bottom lip racking his brain to find what exactly you were asking for when he found nothing and realised just where you guys were he walked to where you were standing just a decent distant away from you not letting you smell that addicting cologne he wore, "let's talk in my office." Yoongi suggested raising a brow in a silent request but where would the fun be without an audience to watch.
"No!" You pouted raising your voice in the slightest making the male roll his eyes before his eyes trailed back to the people still seated, he remembered dismissing the meeting then why were they still sitting here, "so you really don't remember huh?" You questioned turning his attention back to you while people started to evacuate the room, yoongi drank in your expression they looked so serious, "no I don't." He answered honestly trying to keep a straight face although he was starting to get concerned, he saw you inhale sharply closing your eyes while you nodded your head as if you understood what he was saying.
He opened his mouth to speak again but you turned on your heels and started to leave, alarms went off in yoongi's mind this wasn't like you he was expecting a last out or a whole lecture he wasn't expecting a silent treatment, he didn't thought much before grabbing you by your forearm and turning you around to face him.
Your eyes widening in surprise when you came face to face with him before turning back to their narrowed slits, you pouted pushing his hand away not trying to think about just how warm and fuzzy that one touch made you feel, not once thinking about the way your stomach flipped. No you were here for a whole different reason.
"I am sorry okay..tell me what this is about." Yoongi remained careful while stating his request, he didn't wanted to shout at you or scare you away, "how could you forget about today..I thought you would come by but you didn't." You sniffed making loki panick even more, god what exactly fucking thing he forget about?, he felt terrible for having you feel this way.
"I didn't even go to get the wedding dress because I have so angry at you." You accused sniffing again while looking with betrayed look in your eyes, yoongi went shunned for a moment, wait..were you really making such a scene over him not tagging along to see the wedding dress?, his shoulders visibly slumped in relaxation when he realised that you were again playing with him.
"How the fuck was I supposed to know about the wedding dress y/n?" He growled trying to sound intimidating or atleast annoyed but he didn't feel the slightest ounce it, irritated yes he might be a little irritated but angry no absolutely not, although he did more irritated when he realised that you quite literally bragged in during a meeting to cause this show.
You didn't backed away even in the slightest at his biting tone nor did you stopped pouting, you wanted to see just till what limit you could push him, "ofcourse you were supposed to know, I am going to be your wife the least you could was making me feel special enough by going to the dress trial." You argued leveling him with a playful glare enjoying the way he rolled his eyes letting you in on his emotions, god you were craving to infiltrate him fully and see just how much soft he was.
You weren't a fool you could see the way he treated you, you knew he had a soft spot for you just a soft spot you had remind yourself several times but he did and you wanted to take advantage of it to the fullest.
"Well if you wanted me to come along you should have told me beforehand." Yoongi reasoned trying to sound bored keeping his face slightly pissed to make sure you didn't knew how he was feeling on the inside.
This was your turn to act, your mouth fell agape while you shook your head pushing at his chest slightly, his eyes moved to the spot you touched and then back to your offended looming face with his eyebrow raised in a silent amusing question.
"You are no fun yoongi, I knew you weren't the romantic type but how could not know that this whole dress trial thing is a religious (not truly) level thing, i bet you don't even kdrama." You gave him a judging expression at the end seeing him snort at you statement, "I never said I was romantic or fun guy." He pointed out in a matter of factly tone earning a rather offended gasp from you before you wagged your index finger in front of him.
He had to bite back a smile at the way you looked so adorable trying to scold him, "that's it I will not talk to you." You declared throwing your hands in the air in exasperation before you sprinted out of the room, yoongi stood there shocked for a minute mouth slightly open while he tilted his head from side to side trying to register your words.
It was only when he realised that you would probably hold this argument with yourself till your death bed that he decided to sprint out in search of you, he assured himself that it wasn't because he really wanted you to be angry with him.
Lucky for him you were standing infront of the elevator door waiting for it to open so that you looked leave, yoongi could see almost see the comical fumes of clouds surrounding the top of your head striking lighting on occasional, he wanted to smile at that his heart felt funny seeing you so worked up in the not so serious way.
He was sure people were watching but he didn't care, he couldn't care not when his main focus was on you, he shook his head sighing to himself over how much you were starting to affect him.
You didn't notice him coming not when your phone was going off and off again clearly the trio was growing impatient waiting for you, you didn't exactly disclosed the details to them. But they didn't need to know that you were trying to make excuses to be around yoongi, you would be a fool if you said he was just a sport to you, he was what would you say maybe a crush or infatuation (thanks to jimin who couldn't stop feeding you various of fantasy which ended with the mention of yoongi's glorious dick.), you didn't had to be sure not when he was going to be yours anyway, you had plenty of time to fall in love or make him fall in love.
Right now all you wanted was to invade his barriers and make his walls crumble for you, you jumped a little when you felt his hand slipping through yours he didn't say anything or even looked at you, his gaze was fixed on the numbers that were being displayed above the elevator door, you didn't say anything either because just a moment earlier you had swore that you weren't going to talk to him.
You had to much competitive nerves to lose, "let me come with you." Yoongi's words weren't meant in the way that you felt them but you couldn't help your mind not when you were so used to finding double meaning in everything, "I will remember that on the wedding night." You quipped back bitting your bottom lip to stop a grin, all the earlier anger melting away with urge to tease and torture the man took over, yoongi just sighed shaking his head but you didn't miss the smile that broke on his face stealing your breathe away atleast it wasn't the regular small smile, it was much better.
"You aren't getting anywhere with those flirting skills atleast not with me." Yoongi announced stepping in the elevator along side you, hands still interwined neither wanting to talk about it. You pouted looking up at him with a mischievous look in your eyes, "not even in your bed?" You flirted wiggling your brows suggestively while a grin broke out on your face, then what happened was one of the most blessed moments of your life, you would remember it even when you will be lying in your death bed.
Yoongi flashed you his perfect gummy smile that adorable squishy smile that warmed your inside making flowers grow in the dry land of your heart, he was so perfect. "Especially Not my bed." He added playing along with you, you didn't comment on his smile you knew he would shut himself off you didn't want that.
"aww now I will have to do more dirty things." You stated in an overly mocking disappointed tone trying to keep your face in match with your tone but you couldn't help the shit eating grin, yoongi felt his heartbeat increase at your words but he didn't say anything he didn't had to, it was better to leave this conversation here for the sake of both of yours safety and self control.
When the door to the elevator opened near the ground floor yoongi didn't let go your hand he pulled you gently along side him, you knew even he could feel the way people were looking at you both and it made your smile come out more genuine, "if you don't look like you are in love when I try on the gown i swear I will call off the wedding." You joked turning your eyed towards yoongi to see him sigh in exasperation before nodding In understanding.
____________________________________
Yoongi was trying his best, his level best to concentrate on the magazine in his hand but how could he do that when his nerves were getting the best of him and the three sitting beside him weren't helping much, "red would make you eyes stand out." Jungkook was trying to flirt with one of the staff in the boutique probably trying to find a hookup for the day, jimin was busy talking with you meanwhile you were still getting dressed, taehyung was trying his best to keep himself from barking out his questions at yoongi.
"Okay okay I am done and shut the fuck up Park Jimin you better not say anything ugly about my dress or I am gonna whoop your ass." You shouted from behind the close curtains giving no minds to anyone aside from jimin, yoongi resisted the urge to sigh again at the fact that he was stuck with the troublemaker squad.
The swishing of the curtains being pulled drew yoongi's attention as he looked up to take in your appearance a shaky breathe leaving his lips when he drew your look in, he made sure to register it permanently in his mind maybe even tattoo it down, you looked so breathtaking so beautiful how were you possibly not taken by some modern day princely guy.
"Holy shit! That's not my troubled paradise." Jimin mused walking closer to you and squishing your cheeks to make sure you were real you rolled your eyes before slapping his hands away, your eyes turning to yoongi whose hard stare turned into a soft look of adoring when he looked at you, taehyung took mental note of it and made sure that he would not let it leave your notice ever.
Jungkook walked to you giving an approving whilst while he could feel the heat of yoongi's glare at him, it only made jungkook smile further more before he reached out to you and pulled you in a hug, "always the hot chick sweets." Jungkook mused making eye contact with jimin giving him a mischievous smirk to let his intentions being known, jimin caught onto Jungkook's expression before he turned to where yoongi was seated.
Yoongi didn't knew how to stop himself, he knew it was better to strangle that damn magazine in his hand that to walk up to where you stood and murder jungkook with his bare hands, your smile was the only thing that was keeping him from doing that.
God what was happening to him?
"Hey!" Your voice jolted yoongi out of his dark reviere your hand coming to his shoulder while you looked at him with a big grin on your face, could you for a minute not attack him like that?, "Chill down I am not really gonna call the wedding off." You joked trying to draw out a response from him, he gave you one of his small lopsided smile.
"You look beautiful." That's all he was able to manage, realising in that moment that he was far down the road to turn back now.
Shit he might have a crush on his wife to be.
79 notes · View notes
augustbutwinter · 2 years
Text
tales of the househusbands 17 - myg4 ft. jjk
rating: sfw pairing: myg x reader (who’s not really in this chapter) genre: househusband!AU, established relationship, fluff, crack warnings: suspicious activity (or something), one theoretical mention of blood wordcount: 338 words tiny summary: yoongi might start a war over this. the kid wouldn’t dare?!
a/n: I’m so sorry that this one is late! I still hope you’ll enjoy it! I’m having so much fun with this series and seeing/reading reactions to everything that’s going down. It makes me so happy that these drabbles can bring joy to you! <3
We’re also nearing the end of Season 2! I’m starting to work on Season 3, but there might be a little “summer break” in between! If there’s anything you’re curious about, this might be the chance to talk to me about it, and influence the next season!
AS ALWAYS: @jinpanman​​ & @hobi-gif​​ - I can’t believe it’s already a full year of this AU! I believe it was June last year, when we first started talking about this! LOVE YOU!
series masterlist / read on AO3 / next drabble [17th june]]
my masterlist 
***
[right after the peaches incident] [tales 3]
It’s him.Yoongi is sure of it. His nerves are singing and he doesn’t like it one bit.
 This is his turf. Who does that kid think he is? Talking to his dealers, his contacts. What is he trying to achieve?
 First the peaches and now he’s talking to his flower girl? Yoongi curses under his breath. If The Red Eye buys the last bunch of irises, there’s going to be blood.
 The kid buys tulips. A commotion just barely avoided. Yoongi follows inconspicuously as the intruder moves to the next booth on the farmer’s market, even though he knows that it might be too late already. The Red Eye is skilled enough to pick up any tails.
 He’s ordering coffee now. Yoongi approves of the choice. The barista is the best at latte art and the beans are roasted to perfection. And of course. The kid takes out his phone and snaps a pic. Who wouldn’t want to commemorate beauty.
 Yoongi’s phone vibrates in his pocket. Mindlessly he takes it out. It’s probably you, reminding him to buy fresh tteok. As if he would forget. 
 But no. 
 It’s a notification that his favourite account has posted a new picture. nochu_cooking has been doing great things lately. Yoongi has been taking notes, especially because he missed out on his favourite cooking teacher's last class “Abalone Abyss”.
 He opens the app and is greeted by the perfect cappuccino. He presses down on the little heart before his brain can catch up. But then it does and he looks up–shell shocked.
 A few metres away a blush crawls onto Jungkook’s cheeks. a_punch_of_suga has liked his picture, again! Should he finally slide into their dms? There are questions burning on his tongue. How is their buttercream so smooth? 
 Should he upload another picture? If he gets another heart, he’ll do it. 
 On a whim he gears up to take a selfie. And freezes.
 He knows that face in the background. But why is he staring as if had seen a ghost?
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  Ⓒaugustbutwinter 2022 (Please don’t repost. If you like it, reblog it,   leave a heart, drop me an ask or a message. I’d love to hear from you!)      
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muniimyg · 1 year
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02 | coincidence
series m.list
note: jus a fair warning to my regular readers... there will be NO love triangle in this series ahwuahaa. i think its over used with casual, please love me, and paraluman. hoseok is a friend <3
taglist request: send a request with the title of this fic “your universe” // please DO NOT comment here or on the masterlist . it gets confusing and i prefer answering and tagging through asks !!!
taglist: @yukiehyukie @tarahardcore @bbsantc @jeonqkooks-main @whoa-jo @ellesalazar @exhibitachol @pamzn @floweryjeons @boraength @4ksj @joonsjuice @taegijns @avtrns 
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serenecypher · 11 days
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Bangtan Host Club Chapter Three
Genre: BTS Ot7xf!Reader, Poly!AU, Fluff, Romance, Crack-ish, Eventual Smut.
W/C: 2592
Summary: Tired of your boring mundane life? Become an exclusive member of The Bangtan Host Club™ today and let 7 charming men help you out.
Warnings: This chapter is rated PG13, but future chapters may include Mature Themes. The reader goes through the five stages of grief. 😔
Disclaimer: Please do not copy/translate or cross-post my work. The tag list is open. Just DM or send an ask to be included.
A/N: Hi! Sorry for the long wait. Thank you guys so much for being patient. 💕 This chapter isn't edited very much, so I am sorry for any dumb mistakes. Please do send my any feedback! 👉🏻👈🏻
Also, now that we have met everyone, here is the cast:
Kim Namjoon as “Takashi Morinozuka”
Kim Seokjin as “Tamaki Suoh”
Min Yoongi as "Umehito Nekozawa"
Jung Hoseok as "Mitsukuni Haninozuka”
Park Jimin as “Kyoya Ootori”
Kim Taehyung as “Kaoru Hitachiin”
Jung Jungkook as "Hikaru Hitachiin”
Congrats to everyone who guessed the right picks lmaooo! I had so much fun writing Chapter 3, I hope you enjoy it. See you sooooon! <3
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Chapter 2 << Chapter 3 >>
You can count the number of times you have felt such unbridled mortification on one hand. One was when you were playing the Cowardly Lion in the Wizard of Oz showcase during your elementary school talent show and, just as you got on the stage, could not for the life of you stop the unrelenting hiccups out of performance anxiety. Or, that one time in middle school, when you spilled all of your half-digested breakfast on the shoes of that one senior guy you had a crush on because you had a bad stomach flu.
This, you internally scream at yourself, is probably the most dread you have felt in all your adult years.
The receipt you can not avert your eyes from shakes between the tips of your index finger and thumb. Is it your hand that is shaking? You really can’t tell. Something bitter twists in your chest that makes you repeat as you squint your eyes at Hoseok. “What the fuck?!”
He looks at you stunned, but definitely not unprepared. He sighs deeply as he tries to console you, “I am here to help you with any concerns you might have.” 
You snap your head to look at the rest of the people in the Cafe- Club- whatever this place is. There are various degrees of horrified looks on the faces of the other- are they supposed to be patrons or customers or-? God this is so confusing. You let out the longest sigh and your other hand, the one without that malignant piece of paper, rubs across your face. 
“There is no way in hell I am paying this.” you declare, looking right back at Hoseok. Just minutes ago you would have never thought of him as someone you’d have talked to in this agitated manner but also minutes ago, he wasn’t a person who claimed you owed his establishment all your family assets and then some. 
There is a loud scraping of a chair behind you and before you can turn to see who it is, Seokjin’s gentle voice is carrying through the room. “I am deeply apologetic to our guests tonight but due to unforeseen circumstances, the club will reschedule your time with the hosts at a later date. Kindly grant us an excuse this once.”
There are murmurs and hushed whispers behind you. The obnoxious sound of various people shuffling footsteps toward the exit amidst the awkward silence that had followed your outburst is acting as the fuel to the simmering rage in your chest. You feel more than see the icy glares people direct at you for ruining what was probably supposed to be a night of entertainment and good company for them. The thought makes you shudder as embarrassment crawls up your spine. You fix your gaze on your tapping shoe against the plush carpet and cross your arms in front of your chest. 
“Now,” Seokjin continues once it is only you and the other hosts remaining, “What might be the issue, beautiful?”
You inhale deeply before you turn to him, expecting him to look irritated by you. Instead, his eyes are full of mirth as he lifts an amused eyebrow at you. His hands rest on the table in front of him, palms down as he leans his tall frame forward. It irks you. 
“I said I am not paying that ridiculous amount for a coffee I did not even finish. You can not make me.” 
Seokjin’s lips form a small o shape as he pretends to sincerely consider your words. “It is not the coffee you are paying for though, darling. That is complimentary.” He says it like it is obvious. You feel a familiar twitch in your temple. “You are paying for the additional services you have utilized this evening.”
You can feel yourself seething but for the sake of not becoming liable to any property damage, you reign your fury. “I will do no such thing. I had no idea what kind of an establishment this is.”
“We keep that in mind.” Taehyung intervenes, his dark brown eyes sparkling at you intently. “Besides the several, and might I remind you, very prominently displayed boards with our club trademark, the first visits to the guests are usually not chargeable, a free trial if you will.”
“You, however, took four of us with you, to your apartment no less, and Namjoon Hyung even did locksmithing for you.” Jungkook adds from where he is standing next to Taehyung. He smirks at you, and it takes everything in you from banging your fist on the nearest table. 
“He offered!” You argue, wincing at the sound of your voice. 
“He is supposed to. Accepting is completely beholden to you.” Seokjin adds with a tilt of his head to the left that you can only assume to be satirizing. “The club hosts offer services to the guests and if they choose to accept them, they are liable to the charges.” he says, shrugging those ridiculously broad shoulders of his nonchalantly. 
You scoff at this, your glare now directed at Namjoon, who to his credit looks like a big puppy that has been reprimanded by his owner for bringing the newspaper in the mornings, only slightly covered in drool.  
Your shoulders slump in defeat. They are not wrong, you think. When you enter a place that offers you any kind of service, and you make use of said service, you are, as a consumer obliged to pay the fee for that service. “I can not pay that amount. I do not have that kind of money.” At this, the room falls into silence. God, these hosts must earn so much that the concept of living paycheque to paycheque must be alienating to them. 
After what seemed like an eternity, when it was probably only six minutes tops, Jimin who had been sitting on his chair quite comfortably so far takes an exaggerated inhale before intoning, “Well, we might be able to offer you something to help with that.” 
You look at him sheepishly and he continues, “If you can not pay us in terms of funds, pay us in service.” 
What the hell is that even supposed to mean? Is this like some sort of hidden camera prank? Are Pauly and Vinny about to come burst down the doors as a cameraman pushes his gigantic camcorder in your face yelling “You just got MTV pranked!” 
Your bewildered expression must have been too obvious because Jimin adds “I am serious. Work for us.”
Now you are even more confused. Work for them? As an employee? You can not be a host. You have a day job. A job that feels like going through the depths of hell every day, but a job nonetheless. Your tongue twists in your mouth as you try to swallow saliva down your dry throat. “What does that mean?”
“You said you worked at LinkSol, right? By Hwan Sana?” Jimin asks and it's as if he just talked about Voldemort judging by the dramatic gasp from Seokjin’s lips and his hand on his chest, clutching pearls. “You should come work for us, as our manager. Trust me, you’d be doing yourself a favor too.” 
“That’s your solution? Servitude compulsory labor?” you resign. “Do you think we are in the 17th century?” Change is not a friend to you. Yes, your job is torture but you’ve grown accustomed to the routine. This is asking a lot of you. 
“Why, you got something better?” he counters. “We can not waive off your fee, you can not pay it to us. We have an open position and you are at a shitty job. The way I see it, there are no losing parties.”
“You will get to work stable hours that are open to negotiation. We will pay you a salary, also negotiable, from which we will deduct a monthly interest that will serve as your payment.” Jimin pulls out his phone and taps away for a few seconds before humming to himself and adding, “It will take you about 18 months to pay off everything and then you are free to discuss the position as you wish.”
18 months? That does not seem like enough time to pay off everything, does it? Exactly how much are they planning to give you as a salary? Before you can ask, you bite your tongue, wise words from your mother at your college graduation dinner resounding in your head, “Never let an employer know you were expecting less payment for your hard work than what they offered you. They must recognize some worth in you that you may be oblivious to.” 
You furrow your eyebrows, trying to paint the most corporate expression on your face as you return a single nod toward Jimin. “That seems reasonable, but I would like to discuss everything from the profile and my responsibilities openly before deciding.” Jimin presses his thick lips in a flat line, nodding his agreement. 
“Of course, take your time. We can set up a formal meeting anytime you want this week,” he informs.
“And,” you interrupt, suddenly remembering how you got yourself in this position in the first place, “I want it all in writing. No more errors in intentions.”
There is a cough from behind you by Yoongi which sounds suspiciously like a chocked back chuckle. Jimin too bites the inside of his cheek, eyelashes fluttering as he nods again. “We will make sure.”
“Now that all that is over can we please just have something to eat Hobi Hyung? I am starving here.” Jungkook sighs dramatically. “And you, come sit with us, we are not working anymore and I know you are exhausted so you might as well eat now.”
You eye him suspiciously. The other boys all walk up to his table as Namjoon and Hoseok go back toward the kitchen. Even though you trudge over to his table, you can’t help but snark at him, “Would this not be added to my debt to you?”
“Fiesty.” he grins and pulls out a chair for you. “And no. Like I said, we are off work so consider this just a dinner with your future colleagues.” 
You hum dejectedly as you sit at the table with your arms still crossed over your chest. This evening has been a year’s worth of events for you and you seriously can not keep your head up anymore. So you lay your head on the soft white satin tablecloth and groan mutely to yourself. 
“It won’t be that bad working here, pretty girl. You’ll see.” Taehyung says softly from where he sits beside you. You raise your head at him, without straightening your back completely, and are surprised to find him looking at you with no more amusement, just what seems like empathy. Your heart betrays you by fluttering. Why do all of them have to be so attractive? It would be so easy to hate them right now if that wasn’t going on. Life is so unfair.
Seokjin’s hand rests on your shoulder giving it a slight squeeze. “You are so knackered. What were they making you do at LinkSol?” 
It is a rhetorical question, you know that, but you’d just love to dump all of your exhausting work stories on someone if only you had the energy to do that. So you just whine noncommittally and put a pin on telling those stories some other day. After all, they are going to be your “colleagues” as they said. Seokjin takes your palm in his and gently starts to massage your hand. His large hand engulfs yours as his thumbs press into the center of your palm. You give him a confused stare.
“What?” he questions softly.
“What are you doing?” you ask, pointing your nose down to where he is still caressing your hand.
“What does it look like I am doing? I am helping you.” he says it like it is the most obvious thing you could have asked him. 
“Don’t think so deeply about it, sweetheart,” Jungkook says as he grins softly at you, “Hyung has a habit of doing things like that. Just let it be, he means no harm.”
“Yeah, but he is annoying as hell.” Taehyung chips in.
This makes a scowl appear on Seokjin’s face. “I taught you better than that, you shameless brat.” 
“You didn’t teach me shit.” Taehyung gruffs, although he does seem to quiet down after that. 
Jimins rolls his eyes at the both of them and diverts his attention back on you. “I have a better question. I get it about Jin Hyung, he gives off that vibe,” which you think is a slight hidden in the guise of a statement towards Seokjin, “but you didn’t think that we were acting… unusually, around you?”
To be honest, yes. It was definitely strange how these incredibly attractive men were the embodiment of cats with a ball of yarn with you, but that is the point. You were so distracted by the way they looked and how they were very obviously flirting with you that you never even questioned why. You weren’t going to tell them that though. How flustering that idea is, makes a sheen of sweat break out on your hairline. “N-no. I didn’t think of it as anything out of the ordinary.”
It seems like you picked the wrong choice because an impish grin curves along Jimin’s lips as his eyes linger on yours. “So it is a normal occurrence for you. People just flirt with you wherever you go?”
When he puts it like that, it makes your cheeks burn. It is further compounded by Taehyung who admonishes Jimin, “C’mon, Hyung! Stop teasing the poor girl.” He gives you a smirk and a dramatic once-over, before adding “I mean look at her. I wouldn’t dream otherwise”
The way his gaze is suddenly heated makes you choke on your own spit a little. Your heart stutters in your ribcage. Even Yoongi who has been decidedly quiet this entire time leans forward on the table from across you. “Cute.” he mutters, his sharp eyes boring straight into you.
Jimin sighs a deep breath. He plays with the button on the cuff of his shirt as he looks down at the table, “I am not questioning it. I just don’t think I like the idea too much.”
What was that about being “off work”? Aren’t they supposed to not be this charming anymore? Then why are they so intent on making you feel so bashful?! Before you can put too much thought into the matter, the doors to the kitchen open, and Namjoon and Hoseok carry with them two large trays full of food and coffee. As soon as the trays are placed on the table, Hoseok wraps his arms around you, pressing his chest to the back of your chair.
“I am sorry that this is how things turned out, angel.” he whines and Namjoon gives you a small smile as he takes a seat beside Seokjin, “Look on the bright side though. Now we can share all the sweets we want and play together.” he giggles. You smile gratefully at his optimism.
Maybe it won’t be that bad, you think as Jungkook passes you a plate of sandwiches. They seem like nice people, they are allegedly paying you a much better salary than you get at your job, and if nothing else, at least they are a nicer view instead of the drab walls of your office.  
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Taglist: @im-sinking-in-mud @comingupwithacoolnameishard @loumin908 @btsizlyfe @talyaaas-blog @ldysmfrst @socksfirst1 @aliceoracleollormusic
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hobismoonflower · 2 years
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— Still With You
part 1: u guys…
jungkook x reader
in which he is an aspiring rapper and you are an old classmate of his - unwilling to post his trashy song on your instagram story.
masterlist
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taglist:
@acidicloveee @strawbearytae @arepabella
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ugh-yoongi · 4 months
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a word from our sponsors | knj
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you’ve co-hosted a podcast with namjoon for three years; have known him even longer. the two of you have always been the picture of platonic, but that hasn’t stopped the internet from doing what the internet does. the shipping? a little weird at first, but you can understand it: two attractive twenty-somethings always in close proximity to one another, obvious (platonic!) chemistry—people have created ships for less. the fanfiction, though? also pretty funny… until you can’t stop thinking about it. 🎙️
pairing: namjoon x f. reader genre: podcast, friends to lovers au; crack, smut, fluff rating: explicit. minors do not interact. warnings: parasocial relationships galore, a m*n with a p*dcast, author abuses italics, swearing, alcohol, reader uses a pseudonym/nickname (piper) because writing the meta fanfiction scene would've been too weird without one and i refuse to use y/n, dialogue-heavy but it is a fic about a podcast, everyone is down horrendous, mentions of social media & fake r*ddit posts, ex-boyfriend yoongi but in a good, healthy way. let me know if i missed anything but mostly this is just two goofballs not realizing they're in love with one another. smut warnings: kissing, oral sex (f. receiving), fingering, unprotected vaginal sex (fiction), protected vaginal sex (nonfiction), a lil squirting, mild degradation, mentions of a p*ss kink but there is no actual pee i promise (...lest?), i didn't intend to write size kink but it's namjoon so it just showed up anyway, slight dom!joon, everyone orgasms. wordcount: 17.5k credits: this was entirely inspired by that one episode of the basement yard where frankie reads the smut fic of him and joe, so credits to both that author and that podcast. spotify, for their podcast name generator. astro-seek for helping me drag namjoon astrologically. an extra special, gigantic thanks to @effortandmore for writing the meta fanfic (3k of it, no less!) and not batting an eye when i said it could have pee in it as a joke. this is as much yours as it is mine. finally, @hot-soop and @the-boy-meets-evil for reading this over for me and telling me i'm funny. author's note: happy birthday, indigo! here i am to validate every fear you've ever had that the people you write porn about may one day read it. live and on air. :)
You’ve co-hosted a podcast with Namjoon for three years.
You can learn a lot about a guy in that amount of time.
None of it is especially salacious. You know all about his family and his dog and the brand of recycled paper towels he insists on buying in bulk. You know what he’d written his grad school thesis on and what he’d looked like in the thick of it, when he was staving off his fifth mental break of the week. You know how fidgety he gets when it’s closing in on Friday night and he’s got a date—how much he stresses over which restaurant to pick, which cologne, which expensive cashmere sweater to wear.
You also know what the internet thinks about him. Intimately.
Kim Namjoon, according to the internet, is peak husband material. He has cheeks ripe for pinching and thighs small countries would go to war to defend. He has a lap that doubles as a seat and dimples people want to get baptized in. He has Instagram selfies with hundreds of thousands of likes and comment sections full of intelligible keysmashes, especially the ones he posts from the gym.
Kim Namjoon, according to the internet, is a man written by a woman.
Looking at him now, you aren’t sure that’s true, you think people just need to raise their standards. Namjoon is just… Namjoon. He’s intelligent and kind and up to date on modern feminist theory, is all. And, sure, maybe in the current political landscape that puts him far above the rest of men, but the way the internet has latched onto him is a little concerning.
“There’s another post about whether or not we’re dating,” you say, pushing your glasses up the bridge of your nose.
sooo let’s be real here, we ALL think they’re dating, right?? Posted by u/pod-shipper 2 hours ago
Just like he always does, Namjoon huffs out a soft laugh, makes his way around to your side of the table. Puts his large hands on your shoulders as he leans in close to read from your screen, snorting every time he reads a sentence he finds particularly amusing. Whichever cologne he’d chosen this morning is, admittedly, very nice.
It’s sooo obvious, especially in the episodes they film and post on YouTube. The way they look at each other?? I don’t even look at my HUSBAND like that! (+1264) ↳ omg ur sooooo right! i could MAYBE buy that they aren’t full on dating, but they’ve def at least slept together. Namjoon is so 🔥🔥🔥 (+791) ↳ um how can namjoon be dating her when he’s already married to me 😌💅 (+3) ↳ For the millionth time, can we not speculate on their personal lives? This is weird and reinforces really harmful ideas that men and women can’t just be friends. (-51)
“How come they never talk about how hot you are?”
You can tell by the look on Namjoon’s face that he hadn’t meant to say that—or, if he did, he didn’t mean to say it like that, with an entire pout, eyebrows raised nearly to his hairline. “Cursed to be ugly and dumb,” you joke to ease the sudden tension, reading the comment that simply says you’d have to be the dumbest person alive to not sleep with Namjoon.
He scrunches his nose at that. Returns to his side of the table. “Yeah, I don’t think so, lots of people haven’t slept with me.” Starts to unpack all the gear from his bag before he says, “Hey, all that stuff—does it bother you?”
“What do you mean?” you answer, the corner of a protein bar stuck in your mouth. Namjoon always insists on recording at the most inconvenient times.
“People thinking we’re together,” he clarifies.
You shrug. “I dunno. Not really. Comes with the territory, I think, not to mention how much you love to overshare—”
“Hello?”
“I’m just saying,” you retort, hands raised in self-defense. “There really was no need for you to mention you blew your grad school stipend on a porn scam.” Namjoon looks affronted, like he can’t believe you’d stoop so low as to bring that up. “Or that you lost your virginity at fifteen.”
“We have a relationship podcast,” he states simply. “That’s kind of what we do, right? Talk about relationships? And the spectrum of human sexuality is part of that.”
You slump back in your chair as you quirk an eyebrow. “No one said it wasn’t, I just said you overshare. Which you do.”
“And that’s why there’s a dozen Reddit posts a week discussing whether or not we’re dating? Because I overshare?”
“Yeah, exactly. That’s the kind of behavior that leads to parasocial relationships. People latch onto that shit. Makes them think they’re your friend.” He glares. “Don’t give me that look, you know I’m right. It’s bad enough you’ve word-vomited all this highly personal information about yourself, but to not even do it under a pseudonym? It’s like you’re begging for trouble.”
Another comment he doesn’t even realize he’s making: “I don’t beg. For anything.”
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To this day, you’re not sure why Namjoon asked you to co-host a podcast with him.
His reasoning had been simple: “You’re my best friend and we don’t agree on anything.” Hard to argue with that. Namjoon has seemingly endless patience, even in the face of things he shouldn’t entertain, and you… do not, to put it simply.
You’re not a cold person. Your fuse isn’t short. You’re just a little jaded, is all. Have far less propensity for bullshit than Namjoon does, so the two of you play well off each other. You end a sentence with a well-punctuated full stop and Namjoon’s right behind you to sigh and say maybe you shouldn’t be so hasty, not everything in the world can be so black or white.
Except some things are. Somewhere along the way, the podcast—which Namjoon had affectionately named Place Him Gently in the Garbage, even though some people should be shoved in there with force—had picked up a following. A big one. And now, every week, you’re inundated with emails ranging in severity. Sometimes people just want to vent after their tenth bad date in a row or share funny stories, and Namjoon lets you take the lead on those, but sometimes it’s a little more serious. That’s where Namjoon shines, all that endless patience, and people love him for it.
“What’s on the agenda today?” he asks, accepting a thick stack of papers from Jungkook.
Ah, Jungkook.
You aren’t sure what he actually does. Some kind of social media manager, which is obvious from the wildly out-of-context clips he posts of you to TikTok, and it’s his responsibility to go through the thousands of emails you get from listeners, but aside from that all you’ve got are your suspicions that he just sticks around to swindle Namjoon out of more and more money.
“I’m in a silly goofy mood,” comes Jungkook’s reply, and you let out a witch cackle as Namjoon winces. Nothing good ever comes of Jungkook being in a silly goofy mood, and that’s quite alright by you.
Fifteen minutes later finds you with a camera in your face that you greet with an unamused, flat stare. Jungkook is used to it by now. Just films for a few seconds before turning his attention to an unaware Namjoon. Head down, pen and highlighter going a mile a minute as he pores over the stack of papers with all the doggedness and eagle-eyed stare of a literature professor.
That’s the thing about Namjoon—he takes this really seriously. So do you, but not in the ways Namjoon does. He’s all skill and determination and you’re color commentary. It works. It clearly works, so you aren’t too bent out of shape about it, but sometimes you worry. Namjoon takes this really seriously and sometimes you worry that he takes it too seriously, that he carries the burdens and worries of all these strangers, that he’s trying to solve and fix things that aren’t his responsibility to solve and fix.
So he takes it really seriously and you don’t take it as seriously as you maybe should, and everything is by design. Balanced.
Twenty minutes later finds you staring across the table at Namjoon, who asks, “Are you ready?” and does one last equipment check before he launches into, “Welcome back to another episode of Place Him Gently in the Garbage with Namjoon and Piper. What’s new with you, Pipe? Any fun news?”
Pipe. It drives you nuts. Feels like nails on a chalkboard. “I see you almost every single day,” you respond dryly. “But for the sake of entertainment, I’m thinking about getting a cat.”
“A cat?” Namjoon parrots, and his eyebrows disappear beneath his fringe because he knows what that means.
You’ve co-hosted a podcast with Namjoon for three years, but you’ve known him even longer.
Since your first year of college, which is also when you met Yoongi. Yoongi, your ex. Yoongi, the person you’d been with for six years and had planned a life around. Yoongi, now one of your closest friends, because the two of you still love one another but no longer in that way, which is fine. But also—Yoongi, allergic to cats.
So, yeah. Namjoon knows what that means, and he has the good sense not to mention it. Unlike him, you’re intensely private and keep your cards close to your chest. Your listeners don’t even know your real name, let alone that you’d gone through a breakup a year ago.
“What kind of cat?” he continues, like his entire world hasn’t just been turned upside-down.
You shrug. “Eh, I don’t know. Probably one that’s been in the shelter a long time, I guess. I’m not too fussy, you know?”
“Right, a cat is a cat,” Namjoon says, thinking he’s done something. You and Jungkook gasp at the same time. “What? Why are you giving me that look?”
“Because that’s a fucked up thing to say! A cat is not just a cat. They have little personalities, just like people. You’ve got—”
“But you just said you’re not fussy,” he interjects. “And I know they have personalities and that you have to find one that suits your lifestyle! Like, you can’t have one of those really cool cats that likes to go kayaking and shit, it’d never work—”
“What does that mean? Why couldn’t I have a cool cat?”
“Hey, all you cool cats and kittens,” Namjoon mocks, and you can tell he thinks he’s done something again, but his impression falls flatter than flat. An awkward silence fills the studio. He coughs. “Anyway. Do you have pictures?”
“Yeah. I also have a list of candidates ranked by how cool their names are. Number five, Casserole.”
“That’s cute.”
“Mhm,” you agree, “but Casserole is a kitten, and I’m not sure I’m ready for that kind of responsibility.”
“They do say you should adopt kittens in pairs.”
“And that’s how they get you. You want one kitten and they talk you into two, and before you know it you’ve got, like, twelve cats. Number four, Party Girl.”
“Sick name.”
“Number three, Toddler.”
“Toddler?”
“Number two, Flat.”
“Just Flat? Understandable.”
“And, finally, number one: Human Torch.”
“Yoooo.” Namjoon laughs. “You have to adopt Human Torch. Let me see.” You pull up a picture on your phone and hand it over. “Okay, for our listeners—Human Torch is a young, male Domestic Short Hair. He has stripes. I don’t know what that’s called.”
“Tabby,” Jungkook chimes in.
“Jungkook says he’s a tabby. He’s cute. Adopt him.”
You return your phone to your pocket. “Maybe. I still think I want an older cat, but I’ll consider it. What about you, though? Any new dating horror stories to share?”
Ah, the dating horror stories. Your most dedicated shippers are convinced they’re fake, that Namjoon just makes them up on the spot to keep them off your trail. If only. Not in the if only they were fake and Namjoon and I were actually dating kind of way, but the holy shit one of my closest friends is a fucking disaster and it’s a little embarrassing kind of way.
“Not really,” he answers. “I’ve got a date this Friday, though. Trying to decide if dinner and a movie is too boring.”
“It’s a classic for a reason. What are you gonna see, My Big Fat Greek Wedding 3?”
“Three?” Namjoon emphasizes, truly sounding scandalized. “Since when are there three? I haven’t even seen one or two.”
“Okay, first of all, the original is a classic and it’s a crime you haven’t seen it.”
“And second of all?”
“There is no second of all. Repeat point one.”
He snorts. “I’m not gonna see that, anyway. Maybe the re-release of Howl’s Moving Castle.”
“Subbed or dubbed, though?”
“Are you trying to get me canceled?”
“Absolutely.”
“I like both,” he chickens out. “Now, let’s stop wasting time and get to the point of the show.”
“Talking about cats is a waste of time?”
“I—no, we’ve just got a lot on the agenda today.”
“Like what?”
“Well, there’s lots to talk about on the celebrity front—”
Namjoon loves this part. As esteemed and educated as he is, not even he is immune to good old celebrity gossip. (Inside him there are two wolves.) Lives for it. Texts you about it at all hours of the night. Sends you links to Reddit threads with hundreds of comments. Has more opinions on Celebrity Big Brother than he does on Ludwig Wittgenstein, sometimes, and when that’s the case you know you’re in for a long evening. You’ve never even seen an episode of Celebrity Big Brother.
But Namjoon loves it, so you’ve become fond of it by association. Reminds you a bit of Yoongi and his love for sports and sports anime.
“—one should we start with?”
“Whatever you want,” you answer, because you haven’t been paying a lick of attention and you aren’t sure it matters anyway. Namjoon can talk to a wall on a good day, but he’s an entirely different beast once mundane, innocuous celeb gossip gets involved.
And even though you hadn’t been paying attention, it seems like this was the right thing to say, because Namjoon smiles so wide his dimples crater his face. “Cool. Let’s start with Taryn Manning. Did you see that bizarre—”
“Who?”
“What?”
“Who is Taryn Manning?”
Namjoon looks a little dumbstruck. Even Jungkook’s arching an eyebrow at you. “Are you serious? She was in Orange is the New Black and Crossroads.”
“The Britney Spears movie?”
“Yeah.”
“Oh. Weird, okay. Continue.”
Your co-host shoots you a very pointed look. “I will, thanks. Anyway, she posted a video on social media talking about this affair she had with a married man. Like, she pulled over on the side of the road to record this. Said she can’t stand the man’s wife because she called her a quote-unquote lunatic.”
“I—huh, thought we weren’t supposed to say that anymore. Alright.”
“But wait, it gets even more bizarre. Listen to this quote—and this is direct. This is a direct quote from the video, I can’t stop thinking about it: ‘Don’t you ever threaten me when your husband came to me to get his butthole licked.’ Can you—”
“What? Namjoon, what in the fuck—”
“It’s crazy, right? She was gonna buy this guy a boat.”
“Namjoon, this is a family show, you can’t just talk about ass-eating unprompted.”
“No it’s not.”
“Well, you still shouldn’t talk about ass-eating unprompted. It’s unbecoming.”
“You’re unbecoming,” Namjoon fires back, because he can’t help it. The words are out of his mouth before he can think. “Sorry, that was out of line.”
You sigh. Know whatever look Jungkook is catching on his camera right now is exasperated and pointed, the corners of your mouth probably tugged up just a hint. “Unbecoming, like I said.” Namjoon scoffs. “Anyway, so this actress was gonna buy this married guy a boat and was eating his ass?”
“Yeah. Apparently it was her friend’s husband? They all went to a Taylor Swift concert together.”
“Jesus, this keeps getting worse. Big year for Hollywood cheaters.”
“It is, right? Cheaters and divorces. Something in the water, I guess.”
“I saw the astrology girlies saying a bunch of planets are in retrograde, so—”
“Can you explain that to me? Like, what does it mean for a planet to be in retrograde? Why is it causing divorces?”
“I don’t know, I’m not an astrology girlie. That’s why I said the astrology girlies. What are your big three, though?”
“What’s that?”
“Your sun, moon, and rising signs.”
“How do I find that out?”
“Ugh,” you intone, “don’t worry about it, I’ll do it myself. What time were you born?”
Namjoon rattles off a time.
You grab your laptop. Pull up the page, type in Namjoon’s date of birth and birthplace, and wait. Then you’re staring at a circle with a bunch of lines in it that also don’t make a lick of sense to you. You roll your lips to keep from laughing and school your voice into something deadly serious. “Bad news: it says you’re a virgin.”
“Virgo,” Namjoon corrects, not taking the bait. “I already knew that.”
You scroll a little further down the page. “Your moon is in Sagittarius. Oh god, listen to this, they’ve got you pegged: ‘The greatest need is to always search for something. In order to feel safe you need a philosophy or belief’—”
“Haaa, that’s not—”
“—’You need to have a goal or mission that gives your life meaning. Your faith must be voluntary and it is a paradox that fighting against dogmas may lead you to other dogmas.’ Yeah, that’s you.”
“That could apply to anyone,” he argues. “There are seven-billion people on this planet; I’d imagine a sizable amount of them would say that also describes them.”
“Hm, sounds like your faith in astrology is not yet voluntary. Did you know you’re a Scorpio rising?”
“No. I’m sure you’re gonna tell me all about it, though.”
You smile. “Correct. ‘People with Scorpio on the Ascendant need to fight against dark and destructive power in their life.’ Is that true?”
“Yeah, you’re the dark and destructive power. You keep sidetracking me and we need to get to the point of the podcast.” He grabs the stack of papers Jungkook had given him. Looks more highlighter than paper, if you’re being honest. “I guess Jungkook thought we needed a lighthearted kind of day.”
“That was nice of him, considering what he gave us last week. I guess we’re allowed to have faith in humanity today.”
To your left, Jungkook scoffs.
“Alright,” Namjoon starts, putting on his Very Serious Podcast Guy voice, “first up we’ve got a question from one of our listeners in Canada. It says, ‘Hi, Piper and Namjoon. I recently agreed to go on a blind date with a friend of a friend. She said he was a bit old-fashioned but really talked him up so I thought I was in good hands—and then he showed up to get me in a ‘67 GTO and exclusively referred to me as doll. He didn’t use my name once. I’m torn, because he was really nice and I had a good time otherwise, but this is weird, right? Should I see him agai—’”
“No,” you interject.
“Can I finish?”
“You don’t have to. This guy sounds greasy.”
Namjoon pinches the bridge of his nose. “And why is that?”
“Ignoring the fact that this guy has arguably one of the lamest classic cars around, he didn’t use their name once? Not once, in all the time they spent together? That’s really disrespectful.”
“Some people are just pet name people,” Namjoon argues.
“With absolute strangers, though? It’s really giving the impression that he didn’t even know it, not to mention some people are uncomfortable with pet names. The whole shtick is super lame.”
“I agree it sounds a bit misguided, but—”
Ignoring Namjoon, you say, “Sorry you had to go on a date with the ghost of less-cool James Dean. Into the garbage he goes.”
And, just like he’s done a million times before, Namjoon rolls his eyes and says, “If you really like this guy and want to see him again, a bit of communication will go a long way. Tell him the pet name made you uncomfortable—if it did—and offer to pick him up for the next date. I don’t think he’s completely destined for the garbage, yet.”
“You’re just saying that because you don’t have a license. You probably think a 1967 Pontiac GTO is the pinnacle of romance. That’s probably like picking someone up on a Specialized Aethos to you, eh?”
“That’s a fifteen-thousand dollar bike, I’ll have you know.”
You groan. “Oh my god.”
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Ep: #183 - Namjoon is a Virgin
I think Namjoon had the right idea on this one. Sure, the car can be considered lame, but I think a lot of men are deeply insecure and therefore overcompensate when it comes to dating. Women are hard to impress when they have unlimited options. You have to stand out, so I’m glad he advocated for him. Piper can come off like such a misandrist sometimes. (-649) ↳ just shut up bro namjoon would fuckin hate u (+204) ↳ Imagine caring about something like this when they’re getting a cat together 🙄 (+19)
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You think about the cat thing for nearly a week.
Adopting a cat is certainly not the worst idea you’ve ever had, and truth be told it’s been a little lonely, living by yourself. No more Yoongi in your space; no more Holly. So, having a new little friend around might do you some good.
It’s just—
It’s a big commitment, and there’s also the dog sitting-shaped elephant in the room. Ending things on good terms means you’re still Yoongi’s second-choice sitter whenever he has to go out of town, and while you love Holly dearly (the two of you had adopted him together, after all), he’s a lot like his father in a lot of ways.
Should I get a cat, you type out, and it’s only been in Yoongi’s inbox a few seconds before the most unflattering picture you’ve ever taken of him is flashing across your screen.
“Are you dying?” you ask, because Yoongi doesn’t call you for much else.
And you already know what his response is going to be. “We’re all dying.”
“Lighten up, Yoongi. One might say being so existentially nihilistic before noon causes wrinkles.”
There’s a split-second pause. “It’s nine p.m.”
“Sure, but it’s before tomorrow’s noon, so it still counts.”
“Whatever. Listen, before you adopt that cat, I need a favor.”
“You going out of town again?”
“Yeah. Shouldn’t be long, though. A week at the most, five days if I’m lucky.”
“That’s fine, bring him over whenever. Yijeong’s busy?”
This pause is far, far longer. “No,” comes Yoongi’s eventual response, but it’s slow. Unsure. A two-letter word has never taken so long to say in the history of ever. “He’s, uh. Coming with me?”
Oh, you think. This is where your ex awkwardly and hesitantly breaks the news of his new relationship. You’ve known this day was coming, and this is what you get for staying friends with him. “This is a fanfiction plot,” you accuse. “Hot, mysterious man moves into a gaudy apartment complex after ending a long-term relationship and meets his equally-hot and mysterious neighbor and they fall in love.”
“I—that’s not—my apartment is not gaudy.”
“Yes it is. There’s a giant gold bust of a weird bird in the lobby.”
“Weird bird?” he parrots. “It’s a swan.”
“I see you’re not denying the in-love-with-your-neighbor accusations.”
“Am I on trial?” Yoongi retorts, and it’s such a Yoongi thing to say when what he means is, is this okay? He means, are we able to talk about this without it being weird? He means, I won’t ever say as much out loud, but your acceptance means a lot to me, and I’d like for you to give me this.
So you lower your voice and soften the edges because it’s not really something to joke about, and you say, “No, of course you’re not on trial,” and Yoongi knows what you mean. “And if you were, you'd get locked up for fifty years. You can’t lie for shit.”
There’s a beat of silence before he clears his throat, mutters a thanks that is so quiet you almost don’t catch it. “Send me pictures of the cats.”
Later on, once you’re freshly-showered and tucked into bed with a candle and a book (Eloge de l’amour by Alain Badiou at Namjoon’s insistence and request), your phone buzzes with a text from Yoongi—
Yoongi: toddler is a fucking hilarious name for a cat but so is flat Yoongi: it’s a tie for me You: Okay well pick one 🙄 Yoongi: yijeong says get both You: Both???? Is he paying my vet bills? Yoongi: kinda out of line to proposition him for money. flat is also good with dogs, js You: If he’s now being raised by you two, my perfect, well-behaved son is probably long gone. Does he even count as a dog anymore? Yoongi: me and yijeong both say fuck off Yoongi: holly too. he says he doesn’t miss you anymore and he’s not coming over now Yoongi has added Yijeong to the group Yoongi has changed the group name to #ThirdWheelChat Yijeong: Please don’t drag me into this. Also I did not say “fuck off” You have changed the group name to People Who Have Seen Yoongi Naked Yoongi: fuck you
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You should’ve known something was going on with Jungkook, because it’d started like this:
(When you and Namjoon started the podcast three years ago, it was in the living room of his apartment.
Surrounded by books and plants. He loved to record in the afternoons back then—Namjoon loved to say it was because of his grad school schedule, but you’ve always suspected he just wanted to preen in the golden hour light, much like he’s doing now.
“Is this really necessary?” Jungkook whines from his spot on the couch. He’s already swindled Namjoon out of two bags of microwavable popcorn and three cans of sparkling water. “It’s a Saturday afternoon; I could be doing something so much more fun than this.”
Namjoon scoffs. “Are you saying this isn’t fun?”
“Yeah. It sucks, actually. This could’ve been an email.”
And because Namjoon is accomplished, mature, and absolutely incapable of not taking Jungkook’s bait, the space between his brows creases as he sends a murderous glare Jungkook’s way. “Stop eating my food, then. And drinking my drinks. And lounging on my couch like that—”
“I’m not lounging,” Jungkook argues.
“You’re manspreading all over the leather!”
“This is how I sit!”
“Well, knock it off! My couch is only for fun and people who think I’m fun!”
Jungkook rolls his eyes. “So you fuck on it?”
“What?”
“What other fun things could you possibly do on a couch?”
Namjoon blinks. “Watch… watch a movie?”
Jungkook groans, throws himself backwards against the pillows as if he’s suffering a Victorian ailment. “Jesus. No wonder you can’t score a second date.”
“Okay, that was a little uncalled for. There are a ton of reasons a person might not want a second date, and no one is obligated to go out with me—”
“Uh-huh. Anyway—”
You clear your throat. Try to hide your own can of seltzer you’d taken from Namjoon’s fridge in the midst of his and Jungkook’s bickering. “Not trying to be rude, but I have an appointment at the shelter at three. If, y’know. You wouldn’t mind speeding this up a little.”
“Oh! Yeah, of course—”
“Oh, so you’ll speed this up for her but not—”
Namjoon pinches the bridge of his nose. “She,” he begins, jerking his thumb in your direction, “isn’t needlessly complaining and actually has someplace to be.”)
It was just a quick little rendezvous in Namjoon’s living room to come up with a rough draft for the following month’s episodes. He couldn’t do it over text because he’d fallen down the steps at his office and landed on his ass on the corner of a step and his phone had been in his back pocket. Cracked clean in half. And he couldn’t do it over email because he—rightfully—knew Jungkook would ignore them because he has his inbox set up to send all of Namjoon’s personal emails to the trash.
But Jungkook holds onto things like that. Grudges. Loves to let Namjoon think bygones are bygones and pop up a few days later with some evil scheme. Hence:
“What is this?”
Jungkook smirks. Rocks back on his heels. “It’s fanfiction.”
“I can see that, but… why?”
This is where Jungkook shines: the ominous, cheshire cat grin; the aw, shucks demeanor that gaslights Namjoon into thinking Jungkook couldn’t possibly be fucking with him. “Well, you were having trouble coming up with ideas for episodes, and there’s an email in there from someone whose partner reads really expli—”
“Jungkook, this is fanfiction about me.”
You can’t help the laugh that escapes you. Of all the weird shit you’ve seen on the internet (and there’s been a lot), fanfiction of people you know—your friends—was something you’d managed to escape. Probably by virtue of not knowing anyone famous enough to warrant fanfiction being written about them.
But you should’ve known. You really, really should’ve known.
“Oh my god?”
You’re not sure who says it. Could be you or Namjoon, but the sentiment is the same. He mouths a what the fuck at you that’s met with a shrug. You’re in uncharted territory now, too. “Where did you even find this?” you ask, taking the stack of papers from Namjoon. “And why did you print it out?”
“Because I’m going to track down whoever wrote it and get them to autograph it. Then I’m going to buy a nice frame and hang it on the wall behind him, so we never forget this historical moment in Place Him Gently in the Garbage lore.”
“It’s a podcast,” Namjoon deadpans, “how can it have lore? And how much lore can there possibly be?”
“It’s the internet,” you concede. “The lore possibilities are endless. Don’t tempt them.”
Jungkook nods sagely, well-versed in the degeneracy of the internet. “Yeah, that’s how you end up with shit like 4chan.”
“4chan? There’s Space Jam porn on there.”
As the youngest, all Jungkook can do is roll his eyes. “Sometimes explaining this shit to you feels like trying to teach old people how to rotate PDFs—”
Namjoon scoffs. “I’m not that bad. I know how to rotate a PDF.”
Wow, Jungkook mouths. “Anyway, back to the fanfiction—”
“I don’t want to talk about it,” Namjoon interjects. He looks at you. “It’s weird, right? Like, it’s weird that people have written this about us?”
About us.
Your scope of the world narrows to the size of a pinhead. It’d just been about Namjoon before. This is fanfiction about me, he’d said, and you hadn’t been included in that. Now it’s written about us and you’re included.
“I—what?”
“It’s about us,” Namjoon repeats.
Jungkook rolls his lips. “It’s about the two of you fucking, to be specific.”
“Can you not—”
“Fucking a lot,” Jungkook continues. “So much fucking.”
Namjoon looks at you, and it’s all you can do to keep from laughing. The look on his face is pure bewilderment, both that Jungkook has cooked up this idea and is hell-bent on executing it and that he remains employed. And maybe it’s a little bit of nerves, too, because neither of you are ignorant of the risks. Reading fanfiction about yourselves—about the two of you as a couple, specifically, or at least two people who have sex—is weird. Not something you can unread.
And maybe it’s because you’re so determined to not make it weird that you send Namjoon a cheeky, exaggerated wink, shrug your shoulders, and say, “I’ll need a couple drinks, but I’m down.”
Jungkook throws his head back and cackles wildly, and that look of bewilderment on Namjoon’s face morphs into something else. Trepidation, maybe; definitely disbelief, because sometimes he lets himself get swept away in Jungkook’s schemes, but it’s rare that you follow suit.
As Jungkook continues to laugh, you wonder if you should’ve said no.
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Namjoon has two stipulations: the two of you have to film the episode completely alone, and he, too, needs to be a little drunk.
The latter? Piece of cake, considering Namjoon has become some sort of whiskey aficionado in recent years. His drinking is streamlined and to the point—he knows exactly how much and what to drink to get him where he wants to be. You can’t say he isn’t efficient.
The former, though? Borderline impossible. From the second Namjoon states his terms, Jungkook is having none of it. Argues that he’s the one who found the story and the one who cleared it with the author, so he deserves to witness the fruits of his labor.
“No,” Namjoon repeats for the nth time, “no way. I’ll barely be able to do this with just her, let alone both of you.”
And that—that doesn’t bother you, right? You force a laugh, because why would it bother you?
There are few secrets between you and Namjoon, except your respective sex lives have been staunchly off-limits. Namjoon could be a virgin for all you know, and as you study him—the way he keeps bobbing his leg, the slight shake in his hands—you wonder if that’s the reason he’s being so weird about this.
It’s just a story.
Fiction.
Most people don’t have to worry about someone writing stories about them fucking their friends. If they do, you reckon even less actually read them. So, sure, it’s a little strange, but people from all over the world send in stranger stuff all the time, don’t they? It’s literally the reason you’re in this predicament.
Eventually Jungkook agrees. His whining has gotten him nowhere, so he just throws up his hands. Posts a cryptic little “u guys won’t believe what the next patreon ep is lmao” that sends the internet into a frenzy. Doubles your Patreon numbers almost immediately, and both you and Namjoon do a good job of pretending the pressure isn’t overwhelming.
Jesus. You have to read explicit fanfiction about yourselves. On camera.
Namjoon gets caught up with work and isn’t available until the weekend, so you’re forced to sit with the nerves for a few days. Not too bad at first, but you’re nearly coming out of your skin by Thursday with the need to know. You’re well-versed in the world of fanfiction, but this is fanfiction about you: your name, your likeness, maybe even your personality.
What will they know of Namjoon, though?
Will they get it right, the way he looks with his jaw clenched? How impossibly deep his voice can go, both when it’s raspy with sleep and when he’s fully at ease? Will the Namjoon in the story be closer to the Namjoon you know, or the version of himself he presents to the public?
And you’ve known him a long time—long enough that there are few secrets between you, but you don’t know the most intimate parts. All the parts the internet loves to speculate on. All the little gaps that, apparently, need to be filled in by fanfiction.
Will they know what Namjoon looks like when he gets off?
No, you scold yourself, jerking awkwardly like you’ve been burned, and neither will you.
Because you are not going to think about this. Your thoughts are not going to go there. Namjoon is your friend, and you’ve listened to him scold an endless amount of men on the podcast for exactly this behavior. Sexualizing their friends. You’re not going to do it, too.
Maybe that’s why you’re kind of seeing double when it comes time to record. Namjoon needed an extra shot and offered you one as well. You’d necked it without a second thought and now you’re here, trying to ignore the slight tilt of the room as Namjoon adjusts the camera.
“How’s the shot look?” he asks, gesturing vaguely behind him at his laptop screen because Jungkook had refused to lend you his fancy cameras if he wasn’t allowed to be involved.
It’s a completely normal question.
It’s a question you’ve asked and answered a million times.
Except—there’s something horribly distracting about Namjoon in this moment. The outline of his back muscles through the thin fabric of his t-shirt. The way the sleeves are tight around his biceps. He’s always been a gym rat, always carries around a protein shake that smells and looks completely foul, but you can’t remember it ever being this obvious.
And you take too long to answer, because Namjoon straightens up just enough to send you a concerned look. Which does not help. You are not imagining what else might cause his brows to pinch like that, what might have his lips parting, have sweat dotting his hairline.
You swallow. Hard.
“Looks fine,” you manage to say. He’s still staring. Are you on fire? You feel like you’re on fire, which would make sense. Would explain Namjoon’s sweating and concerned stare and the fact that he cannot stop staring at you. “Maybe a tiny bit to the right if we’re being picky,” you tack on, hoping it’ll break whatever spell the two of you are ensnared in.
It works. “To the—the right, yeah, makes sense,” he rambles.
He moves it an inch to the left.
Things are tense, to say the least.
Recording hasn’t been this awkward since your first episode, or maybe ever. You’re sat across from one another like you always are, and usually Namjoon would be making quip after quip by now, talking endlessly until Jungkook shushed him long enough to get the intro filmed. Now, there’s just silence.
“Should we…?” Namjoon startles. Bangs his knee on the underside of the table and drops a string of curses. “Sorry, are you—”
“I’m fine,” he says, cutting you off. He gestures vaguely toward the camera. “I’ll just… yeah.”
Showtime.
You wipe your hands on your jeans, unsure of when they got so damp. Unsure of when you’d grown so nervous, too, because you’d been fine an hour ago. Had strolled in with two cups of tea and a little too much confidence, giddy at what you were about to do.
Maybe the nerves had shown up alongside the alcohol. This sounds reasonable, and you do not, under any circumstance or for any reason, think about Namjoon’s back. Or his biceps.
Namjoon makes it through the intro, dimples deep and wide as he smiles, and you also don’t think about the way his voice cracks and gets a little breathy when he introduces you. It’s only because he’d been drinking, and the flush on his cheeks attests to that. The same flush that creeps down his neck, still a little sweaty; disappears beneath the hemline of his shirt.
“—Jungkook had. Right, Piper?”
Now it’s your turn to startle, and there’s not much you can do to hide the obvious except ask Namjoon to redo the shot. Because it’s bad enough the internet already overanalyzes every move you make, every word choice, every instance you’ve stared at Namjoon a second longer than they thought you would—this is a blatant display of… affectedness.
“Sorry,” you say, “I wasn't paying attention. Can we redo it?”
You’re expecting a playful scolding. A ha ha, get it together, because that’s what you usually get. But there’s nothing aside from Namjoon studying you and nodding. Asking if you’re okay. Saying, “Is this—this is weird, right? Is it too weird? Maybe we shouldn’t—”
An out. Namjoon is giving you an out, and you should take it, you know you should take it, so there’s absolutely no reason at all you shake your head and say, “No, no, it’s fine! I think I’m just a little, uh. Drunk?”
“Are you sure? We can—”
“It’s fine, Joon,” you insist. “Besides, it’ll be good content, right?”
“Good content,” he parrots. “Yeah, for sure.” He fidgets in his seat, runs his hands down the span of his thighs. Very, very thick thighs. “I’ll grab us some water.”
You faceplant onto the table as soon as he’s out of the room. When did his thighs get so thick?
But the water helps. Cures whatever strange, insatiable thirst has come over you, because you feel much more human after a few glasses. Less drunk, too, which makes sense. Yoongi could barely escape your drunken, horny wrath when the two of you were together, so you chalk it up to a Pavlovian response.
Namjoon does the intro again. Introduces you strong and steady, not a hint of nerves, and explains, with a fresh blush taking over his upper body, what the episode’s going to be about. “Someone wrote fanfiction about us,” he says, scratching at the back of his neck. “It’s, uh, pretty explicit. Jungkook thought it’d be funny if we read it.”
You snort. “He might get fired, depending on how this goes.”
“He should get fired regardless,” Namjoon deadpans. “Anyway, we have permission from the author to read this so don’t come after us, and, as always, we’ll put all the credits in the video description.”
“Special shoutout to Jungkook, though, who was not allowed to be here with us for this momentous occasion.”
Namjoon laughs. “I’m sure he’s having plenty of fun at home.” You both pause. “That’s not—I’m not implying anything with that! I just meant—you know, like. He’s hanging out and enjoying his day off.”
“Uh-huh.”
“Moving on. I have two copies of this. Do you want your own?”
You grin, wicked and wide. “Nah, just read it to me.”
“Making me do all the work,” he huffs. “Typical.”
“There’s a stack of papers in front of you that might say otherwise.”
It’s clear you catch him off-guard. He cocks an eyebrow, opens and shuts his mouth a few times like a goldfish. An obvious question sits on the tip of his tongue: You think you’d be in charge? Instead he coughs, jerks his head to the side, and says, “I guess we’ll see.”
It sounds like a challenge.
Thirty seconds is all you get before Namjoon’s shuffling his stack of papers and clearing his throat. Asking if you’re ready and jumping right into it once you say you are. Reads the first few lines like they’re some old lecture notes, and they’re conservative and safe-for-work enough that you start to relax.
And then Namjoon reads, “A louder one wonders if Namjoon is a pet name person—if he’d call her ‘honey,’ or ‘gummy bear,’ ‘babe,’ or ‘baby,’” and you choke.
“Gummy bear?”
Namjoon laughs along with you—the weird one that almost sounds like a dog panting. “You want me to call you gummy bear?”
“I want you to call me a Lyft,” you snark. “I’m leaving.”
He continues:
And that’s how it starts, wandering thoughts, wandering fingers—the first time Piper comes to the thought of Namjoon calling her baby, pushing inside her, showing her that he definitely doesn’t beg, but she does… Well, she’s a little ashamed. She’s apparently got a reputation to maintain, anyway, not to mention a friendship.
His eyes leave the paper and lock onto you. “Or maybe you’d prefer baby?”
“Fuck off.”
Weeks after that first time, it’s become a habit, thinking about Namjoon as something more than a friend. It’s confusing and a little mortifying and it’s starting to affect her in ways she hadn’t expected. When they record, she feels fidgety—she’s jumpy when he gets close, has all the stupid obvious tells of an unwanted crush: her breath hitches when he whispers (why the fuck is he whispering in her ear, anyway? Doesn’t he know what that does to a person?) inside jokes to her so Jungkook can’t hear, her heart rate spikes when their fingers accidentally brush, she feels itchy and hot and a little embarrassed whenever he holds eye contact with her. It’s terrible, and it’s only made worse by the way he’s doing all of those things more than usual. Or, at least she thinks he is, thinks she’s not imagining the way his eyes linger on her more than she can remember happening before or the way she’s caught him staring at her lips when she chews on the end of her pencil mindlessly. 
You’ve completely forgotten how to breathe.
Namjoon’s staring again. You need to salvage this. He’s only on paragraph three and you’re already squirming in your chair and imagining things that are not appropriate. So you roll your lips, return his teasing. “Well? Do you stare at my lips?”
It works. “No,” he scowls.
“You sure?” you joke, morphing your face into something half-pout, half-duck face.
“We’re never gonna finish this if you keep making comments.”
“You started it,” you point out. “Go on, then.”
There’s some dialogue. Some prose that hits way too close to home, has you wondering who on earth wrote this and how they plucked every single thought from deep within your psyche. A pang of fear that maybe you haven’t been as subtle as you’d thought all these years. A moment to confirm to yourself that, no, you haven’t been harboring a secret, deeply-buried crush on Namjoon.
Then he reads—
And then he kisses her. It’s greedy and hot, his lips like a branding iron. She moans a little against her better judgment when he licks at the seam of her mouth, and in return, she can feel Namjoon’s lips curve into a smile against her own. It’s better than she’d been imagining it, really. He’s a good kisser—firm at the right times, soft when she needs it, careful but not cautious. He holds her jaw with one hand and keeps her right where he wants her beneath him (as if she’d want to move, anyway).  When their lips finally part, he rests his forehead on hers. It’s intimate in a way she hadn’t expected, and he looks at her as if she’s the answer to every question. Finally, he whispers, “What’re we doing, Piper?” His lips are still wet and pink and a little swollen from kissing, and she barely hears the question—she’s too busy thinking about kissing him again, about pulling his plump bottom lip between her teeth, teasing and…  “Kissing,” she says finally.  “What do you want?” he asks, sinking to his knees in front of her. And if that alone isn’t an answer to his question… “Whatever you’re willing to give,” she replies. It feels like she’s wanted this forever, this and so much more. Once she got the idea in her head, it’s hard to know if she ever felt differently, ever truly thought they could just be friends. Or, if in the back of her mind, in the dark corners that she never lets see daylight, she always knew she wanted Namjoon. Always knew she loved him.
—and everything goes right out the fucking window.
Namjoon sits with those words for a moment. Scans the paper in his hands and frowns a little when he confirms what you already know. “The rest is, uh. Porn.”
“That is why we’re here.”
“Last chance to back out.”
“I’m not scared,” you lie. “Are you? You’re the one who keeps stalling.”
He huffs. “You’re a pain in my ass,” he retorts, and then nothing is all that funny anymore.
Because Namjoon was right: the rest is straight-up porn. He’s barely able to read the part where he goes down on you with a straight face, turning a deep shade of crimson. Stutters through the part where you pull his hair, and that is not something you needed to know about your friend. You think he loses his grasp of language entirely when he reads, “When he slides a long finger into her and brushes past her most sensitive spot, she arches into him and lets his name fall from her lips in a soft cry. Piper, notorious skeptic, is a babbling, trembling mess as she gets closer to her orgasm,” because all the words are garbled together, producing nothing but gibberish. You think he’s ready to keel over and die when he reads, “Namjoon pulls away briefly, lips slick with her juices, and licks over his top one, pausing to tell her how good she tastes before he dives back in.”
“That was nice of them to include. I appreciate their attention to detail in regards to my personal hygiene.”
“This is so embarrassing,” he whines.
You roll your eyes good-naturedly. “Gimme. I’ll finish it.” He hands over the papers immediately.
Except you regret it immediately. The words you’re staring at are not words you ever thought you’d read or recite in your entire life. Not even for a million dollars. “Oh,” you say instead.
“See? Not as easy as it looks.”
“This is really embarrassing,” you confirm. “I might need another shot.”
“Y-yeah. Alcohol sounds good.”
Namjoon staggers forward obligingly, looks completely fucked out and pliant, willing to do whatever she asks. She remembers the sounds he made when she pulled his hair, wonders if he likes being bossed around, if he wants her to tell him what to do, to be a little mean to him. Maybe it’s different from her dreams, maybe he will beg her. She wants him so badly, she’d do anything for him. So, she pulls his briefs down to expose his absurdly large member, already mostly hard, and slaps it. Gently at first to see how he’ll react, and when he shudders and jerks his hips, she does it again, a little harder. “Look at you,” she whispers, “such a needy boy.”  He whimpers at that, eyes pleading. “Please, Piper…” he whines.   “Please what?” “Please let me fuck you,” he begs. She wants to, wants him so much, wants to feel him stretch her open, and from the looks of his cock, thick and long and drooling with precum, he could. “Should I?” she asks. She musters all her confidence to keep the condescending tone up. It feels wrong given how desperate she is to get him inside her, but it also seems to be getting him worked up and equally as desperate. “Do you even know what to do with that big, stupid cock?”  Namjoon’s cock twitches, and he begs, “I—I’ll fuck you so good, Piper…. I know how, I promise. Just… please?”
“Oh my god,” the two of you say in unison.
You so badly want to ask if this is biographical. How Namjoon feels about a little degradation; what he’d do if someone actually called his cock stupid. Ifsomeone has called his cock stupid. You dare a glance at him and conclude that someone’s had to. Namjoon just has that kind of energy.
But you can’t ask because it’d be weird, so you keep reading.
“How do you want me?” she asks softly when their lips part. There’s a wild look in his eyes, like he’s processing all the possible options out of everything he’s considered. And then it occurs to her. “Have you imagined this before? Thought about how you’d fuck me?” she teases him as she stands, stepping into him. Piper pushes one hand through his hair, brushing it back off of his forehead and wraps her other around his dick, squeezing a little for emphasis on her words. “Yes,” he groans as she strokes him, thumbing at the head of his cock. “Tell me what you want, then. Want me on all fours for you? Want me to show you how it’s done, to let you lay back and ride you so you don’t have to put in any work?” Namjoon’s breathing is getting heavy, pupils blown wider with each suggestion. 
“I told you!” you shriek, laughing in between the words. “I told you I’d…” And then your gloating tapers off, because what happens next has your brain malfunctioning.
“All of that,” he whines as she lets go of his hair and brings her hand down to run a fingertip over his perineum. “Want all of that. Want to bend you over the table and fuck you right here. Hear your sounds in the microphone.” Even in her dirtiest thoughts about him, she hadn’t considered the microphone, hadn’t considered recording it. When she thinks about it though, it makes sense. Namjoon is exactly the kind of person that would get off to someone’s voice. So, she does. She makes a show of turning around and slowly bending over the table, sliding her upper body across it carefully until she can reach her microphone and turn it on. When she says into it, “What’re you waiting for?” she sees over her shoulder the way that Namjoon shivers.
This is… not good. You’re never going to be able to look at a microphone the same way, which is extremely not good for a person who supplements their income with a very popular podcast that requires them to speak into a microphone for extended periods of time.
This is very, very bad.
Namjoon must be thinking the same, because he lets out a strangled a-haaa that’s less of a laugh and more a plea to God, the gods, the entire gamut of higher powers that might be able to save him. No one’s going to, you think, staring down at the paper again. This godless piece of fanfiction will be preserved on the internet forever, will be seared into your mind forever, and no amount of praying is going to erase it.
“I should, uh. Just read the rest, yeah? Get it over with?”
“Mhm. Yep. Yes, please.”
Don’t say please, you almost say. You can’t take it; not after what you’ve just read.
So you put on a show. Steel your expression and your nerves and take it seriously. Use voices and sound effects and desperately try to stave off the awkwardness you know is inevitable because a smut fic is probably only going to end one way, and that’s with you acting out Namjoon having an orgasm.
Maybe you’ll have another one, too, if the author is nice.
It’s sweet, she thinks, the way he’s easy for her, takes his time with her. Strokes his fingertips along her sides and kisses the back of her neck reverently. As much as she loves it, part of her hopes he’s not always like this—hopes he’ll give as good as he takes, hopes he’ll put her in her place. She can feel his cock hard against the cleft of her ass, not even inside her yet, and still, she thinks about next time and the time after that. “Still okay?” He breathes into her ear as his tip rubs against her cunt.  “Yeah—want you, Joon.”  “Never thought I’d hear you say those words.”  “I never thought you’d record them,” she teases, eyes glancing up to the flashing light showing the mic picking up all of this as he starts his slow slide into her.  Piper falls even further forward when he bottoms out, letting her forehead rest on the table. He’s whispering filth in her ear, about how he has something to prove, how she’ll never want anyone after this, how no one can fuck her the way he does.  She hates that he’s right.  Each stroke brings a new sensation: sparklers, butterflies, nerve endings on fire as he fucks into her and licks and sucks at her neck, her shoulders, her ear. Piper can’t even think, and this is what people mean when they talk about being fucked stupid, she decides.  It’s perfect.  Every time she thinks she’s getting close again, he changes something: fucks her a little shallower, moves his hips just a little, slows down, speeds up… It’s driving her crazy.  “Come on,” she whines. “I’m so close…” At least she can tell he is, too. No longer able to sustain the dirty talk, he’s breathing heavily, letting out broken moans and sighs of her name. He’s moving rhythmically now, thrusts consistently faster.  “Oh, fuck, Piper,” he groans, “Gonna cum.” One of his hands finds her clit and he rubs careful circles over her, bringing her to her peak along with him, no more teasing.  When she comes, it’s with a loud moan into the studio mic, and that seems to be what tips Namjoon over the edge, too. His hips stutter into hers as he comes, her cunt clenching around him for what feels like forever.
You deserve an award, you think. An Oscar. You didn’t even groan when you had to read the word “cunt,” and that’s a feat in and of itself.
“Is it over?” Namjoon asks, words muffled by the hands covering his face.
“Not quite,” you answer. “There’s some aftercare, and at the end you ask if I’ll piss on you.”
Namjoon gags. “I asked you what—”
“Today’s episode has been brought to you by Stamps-dot-com—”
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HOLY SHIT THE NEW PATREON EPISODE???????? Posted by u/pod-shipper 4 minutes ago NO WAY. NOOOOOOO FUCKING WAY DUDE THERE’S NO FUCKING WAY THEY DID THIS AS AN ACTUAL EPISODE WHAT THE FUCK WHAT HTE FUCK WHAT EHTU FKF DFGLKDG;L (+705) I wasn’t sure if they were messing around before, and I was quite critical of the “shippers,” but now I’m pretty convinced. (+423) ↳ we’ve been telling y’all for YEARS 😤 (+197) ↳ Glad you’ve seen the light, u/RandomAcorn2058! (+5) ↳ ugh. they weren’t messing around before and they aren’t messing around now. do you guys not listen to what they say? namjoon’s been dating, and piper got out of a six-year relationship just over a year ago. if they’ve had something going on for “years” that means they’re both cheaters, and that’s a really shitty thing to assume about them. not to mention it makes the entire point of the podcast moot. (-63) Why do you guys think Jungkook “wasn’t allowed” to be there? (+314) ↳ So they could fuck lmao it’s so obvious (+329) ↳ because it’s awkward af? would you wanna read porn about yourself w all your coworkers in the room? (+2) ↳ the “it’s awkward” excuse is sooooo lame he’s the one who found it and is the one who edited the episode, he’s gonna see it regardless. (+15) ↳ Tbh I’m more curious about how he even found it to begin with? Do they have a throuple thing going on? Like, why was he looking for smut fic about his bosses? (+38)
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You do not get through recording unscathed.
You are very scathed. Perhaps the most scathed a person has ever been.
Jungkook texts the group chat sporadically throughout the week, cracking jokes and making memes at your and Namjoon’s expense which is par for the course and shouldn’t have you off-kilter, but something inside you feels deeply wrong. Feels like someone’s given you devastating news; feels like it used to back in uni when you knew you’d failed an exam and were just waiting to see how badly.
It both helps and doesn’t that the internet is so invested. All the clips Jungkook keeps posting have re-doubled your Patreon numbers, and jumping up a tax bracket never hurt anyone, you included. But all of those jokes and memes largely went unanswered by both you and Namjoon, still too close to the incident to find the humor in it from the other side.
The two of you had sex.
Not literally, of course, but you figure you might as well have with the way you’re feeling. The way you’re avoiding one another. Someone wrote a story about the two of you having sex and you both read it and something about that, days later, feels really fucking unsettling.
In a bad way? You aren’t sure. It’s not like you’re mad or upset or any other synonym. You just feel… off. Itchy from the inside out, and that’s far from the norm in your and Namjoon’s friendship. In all the years you’ve known one another, you’ve never once avoided each other, including the time you’d set him up with a close friend and he showed up 45 minutes late to their date and ghosted after.
(Unsurprisingly, that friendship had not lasted.)
Maybe it’s because Yoongi had always been there as a buffer. You aren’t of the belief that men and women cannot be platonic friends, but being in a years-long committed relationship nixed a lot of awkward interactions and assumptions off the bat. Even Namjoon had known Yoongi first. Had introduced himself to you in your shared 100-level psych course with a, “Hey, you’re Min Yoongi’s girlfriend, right?” because they ran in the same underground circles and Namjoon had idolized him from afar for years.
Pretty fucked up, then, that Yoongi’s off in Los Angeles with his hot new boyfriend and you’re on your couch, Holly at your feet, pointedly ignoring your texts.
“I’m gonna get a cat,” you say to the dog, trying to redirect his attention when he starts chewing on your sock again. Holly doesn’t offer any input, of course, and he’s a lot like his father in that way. “I can’t believe you have a stepfather. You’re a proper child of divorce now, Min Holly.”
There are a pile of unread texts you continue to ignore in lieu of showing Holly pictures of adoptable cats. A few more memes from Jungkook, one from Namjoon’s new phone asking to move the recording date a few days because “something came up at work,” one from the food delivery service you admittedly use too much offering 10% off your next order, and two from Yoongi. This reminded me of you, the first one says beneath a picture of an ice cream cone on the ground, and another one of him holding a water gun that says send me a picture of my son or else.
You eventually reply back with a picture of your middle finger, Holly nothing but a blurred brown blob in the corner of the frame.
That’s how it goes for the better part of a week. Namjoon’s work issue lasts four days. He doesn’t offer an explanation and you don’t ask for one, you just wait for the all-clear text and try to quiet the nerves once you get it.
You’ve never been nervous to see Namjoon before.
The more popular the podcast became, the more money rolled in. The more money that rolled in, the more you could afford nicer things. That meant going from recording in Namjoon’s living room to a bona fide office space. Third floor, an expanse of windows and natural light, thirty-five minute commute by train.
Today, it feels more like thirty-five seconds.
You can hear Jungkook’s witch cackle from the stairwell, and your mind fills in the blanks of Namjoon’s exasperated sigh. It helps, your brain reminding you that you know these people. You know this is Jungkook’s late gym day, so he’ll be in a pair of sweats and a hoodie that drowns his frame. You know that when Namjoon has work issues and feels like an inconvenience, he always shows up with two boxes of baked goods from the bakery near his place, and you know both of them will save the best donut for you.
So you walk in and Jungkook’s in a hoodie and sweats just like you expect him to be, and there are two boxes of baked goods next to the coffee machine. Both of them say hello and wave and, for all intents and purposes, everything is normal.
Except it isn’t.
Because Namjoon looks… different.
Not in a bad way. Not in a bad way. He almost always dresses nicely, always looks polished and put-together, usually because he’s either going to or coming from campus—fitted shirts, either of the tee or dress variety, and earth-toned cardigans; tailored trousers that are sometimes corduroy; polished loafers. Sometimes, if he’s feeling extra casual, a stark white pair of tennis shoes.
Today, he wears none of those things.
No, today torture comes in the form of form-fitting jeans and a t-shirt a little oversized so he can roll the sleeves. His hair is brushed back off his face instead of parted down the middle. He’s wearing gold jewelry that glints in the sun. A pair of off-white Converse high-tops. And, much to your horror, he’s also wearing his glasses.
According to the internet, Kim Namjoon is peak husband material, which you can usually ignore, but not when he’s wearing glasses.
You avert your gaze, convinced you’ll burst into flames if you stare too long, not to mention Jungkook will notice and that’s a ribbing you’d rather die than take. So you avert your gaze and pointedly ignore Namjoon, who’s talking about his work crisis to no one in particular. Something about a co-worker going on an unexpectedly early paternity leave, and Namjoon being asked to cover some of his courses until they could find a more permanent fix.
Jungkook asks a question you don’t catch. Because paternity leave means his co-worker and his partner had a baby, presumably via old-fashioned methods, and it’s not a direct mention of sex but it’s close enough to send you into a coughing fit you have to blame on your donut. Neither of them buy it, but Namjoon is a good enough person to look genuinely concerned. Reaches out, probably to slap your back, but the thought of him touching you is just… too much.
So he barely gets out an, “Are you o—” before you choke down whatever’s left in your mouth and cut him off with a, “Yep, all good!” before you’re scurrying off to the opposite side of the room like a little rat.
It doesn’t get any better.
Both of you are so stilted and awkward during recording that Jungkook has to be the voice of reason and call it, suggest trying again tomorrow. Luckily he has enough b-side stuff he can release if need be, Namjoon’s work emergency providing a decent cover, and he sends the two of you home for the afternoon with all the exasperation and incredulity of a disappointed parent.
Thirty-five minutes back home.
Thirty-five minutes to sit in the embarrassment of not being able to do your job. Thirty-five minutes to catastrophize and wonder what you’re going to do if you can’t get it together. Namjoon will keep the podcast, of course; you’ll be replaced with someone else. Maybe someone less cynical, maybe someone more, but undoubtedly a man. After this mess, you can’t imagine Namjoon would want another female co-host.
But as embarrassed as you are, your traitorous brain keeps thinking about Namjoon.
Thirty-five minutes to think about his glasses and his rolled-up sleeves and the way the denim of his jeans contoured perfectly to his thighs. Thirty-five minutes to think about, “Please let me fuck you,” he begs. Thirty-five minutes to squeeze your thighs together and overanalyze the way he stumbled over his words today; how he could barely make eye contact. Thirty-five minutes to draft a dozen resignation texts and delete them all.
You groan, head thunking against the train window. You’ll take a cold shower as soon as you get home.
That’ll cure you.
You get home and walk Holly so long he gives up halfway through and you have to carry him back to your apartment. You take a cold shower and actually find it pleasant once the initial shock wears off, so it doesn’t work to keep all your rogue Namjoon thoughts at bay. You make a simple dinner and don’t think about Namjoon sitting you on the counter and having his way with you. You tuck yourself into bed far too early and consider going back to therapy, because clearly something very, very bad has happened to your psyche.
Needless to say, nothing cures you.
But it’s a new day, and you’re determined to get your shit together. Yesterday was a fluke, because you’re so normal and so capable of being in the same room as Kim Namjoon.
Except—you’re not.
Jungkook’s there when you arrive, mindlessly scrolling through his phone. Barely looks up at you to say hello, and barely returns it when you do. You double-check the time, because you can count on two fingers the amount of times you’ve shown up and Namjoon wasn’t already there, jotting down extensively-detailed notes, circling and highlighting and chasing down Jungkook to ask questions.
“Where’s Namjoon?”
Jungkook shrugs. “Dunno. Not here.”
You roll your eyes. “Super helpful, thanks.”
Jungkook rolls his eyes right back. “You don’t pay me enough to also be his handler.”
You bite your tongue. Arguing with Jungkook means you’ve already lost the war. Not worth it. But it still eases your worries a bit that he doesn’t know any more than you do. That Namjoon hadn’t only texted him to say why he was running late because he didn’t want to—or couldn’t—talk to you.
So you wait. And you wait and you wait and you wait. Jungkook lets you talk to people on his dating apps and tells you about his new gym routine until your eyes are glazing over. Orders food delivery for the two of you because he gets hungry after an hour and had already eaten what was left of the snacks before you arrived. Cracks a joke that isn’t really a joke about calling the police, because Namjoon still hasn’t shown up and he hasn’t said anything and none of your texts are showing as delivered.
You’re halfway to hour two when the office door bursts open and Namjoon stumbles through, soaked with sweat and stammering over apologies.
“I am so sor—I broke my phone again so my alarm never went off and then I missed my bus? And apparently they’re not running the regular bus schedule today so the next one was a half-hour wait, but then I…”
You don’t catch the rest, because Namjoon is covered in sweat and breathing heavily and a week ago you could’ve survived this. A week ago you would’ve cracked a joke and handed him a towel and told him to get to work. A week ago you would not have been paralyzed in your seat, transfixed on the sweat rolling down the side of his neck.
You are fucked beyond belief.
Jungkook elbows you in the ribs, bringing you back to reality. “...even paying attention?” You startle, face warming in embarrassment. Namjoon still isn’t looking at you. “This is so sad to watch,” Jungkook mumbles, and thankfully it’s only loud enough for you to hear. “Like some stupid shit you only see in nature documentaries.”
Well, you can’t really argue with that, now can you?
But you’re a professional above all, so you hum an acknowledgment and take your regular seat. Pointedly ignore Jungkook. Wait for Namjoon to assume his position as well, and you’re surprised to see the space in front of him empty. No notes. No script. There’s just… nothing.
“Are you okay?” you ask, gesturing to the space in front of him when he seems confused. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen you without a stack of notes in front of you.”
“I forgot them.”
“Don’t think I’ve ever seen you do that, either.”
Your tone is light and airy, not at all accusing or confrontational, but Namjoon’s jaw clenches nonetheless. He scoffs, fires a shitty little, “Were you not paying attention when I was talking about what a horrible fucking morning I’ve had?” at you that makes even Jungkook flinch. A few moments of stunned silence, and then, “Oh fuck, I’m so sorry, that was rude—”
“Yeah, it was,” you agree, and all of a sudden you feel too big for your body. Feel like there are ants beneath your skin, feel like everything is wrong, and you don’t want to be here anymore. “It’s fine. Let’s just—”
Namjoon looks like he wants to argue, but he just sighs and says, “I—yeah, okay.”
This is where Namjoon would usually launch into the intro, a dimpled smile already plastered on his face that’d drop as he discussed another failed first date with that brand of self-deprecation that makes him so endearing. This is where he’d say what have you been up to, Pipe, and you’d try not to groan because how hard could it possibly be to add one more letter, another syllable, but Namjoon seems incapable of it. This is the part that, for three years, has been seamless and easy and instinctual, just two friends having a conversation.
There’s a red light on your microphones that indicates you’re recording. It’s on and it mocks you, because Namjoon is not doing the intro or telling you about a failed date. He doesn’t use that cringey nickname. He doesn’t say anything at all. His mouth opens and shuts and no words come out. What’s worse is that you know exactly why he can’t speak, because you’re thinking about it, too.
“So, uh,” you begin, and Jungkook makes a gagging sound from behind you. “Come here often?”
Namjoon ignores you. “Right, right, the intro…” He sucks in a breath. “Welcome back to another episode of Put Him in the Trash, I’m—”
“Joon—”
“Namjoon, and my co-host here is—”
“Joon, that’s not—”
“Piper. Wait, why are you looking at me like that?”
“That’s not the name of our podcast.”
“Huh?”
“You said Put Him in the Trash.” Namjoon just blinks. “It’s Place Him Gently in the Garbage.”
“Is it? Since when?”
“Since forever?”
He looks at Jungkook, who is hiding behind his hands. “Is she right?”
A beat of silence. “I can’t do this,” he half-shouts, half-whines. “Are you two going to be like this forever? Because if you are, I’m quitting. I’m so serious. I’m gonna quit. I can’t take it anymore. The two of you are insufferable.” Another beat of silence, before Jungkook stands at full height and lords over you and Namjoon. “Forget today. Just go home and try again on Monday. This is so—I’m seriously gonna quit.”
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Yoongi comes on Saturday afternoon to pick up Holly.
Yijeong isn’t with him, which is almost disappointing. Now that he’s dating again, you were looking forward to seeing just how awkward it could get with the three of you in the same room, but he looks good. Refreshed. The trip clearly did a world of good for him, and you can’t even bring yourself to crack a joke at his expense.
He, however, has no such hang-ups. “You look like shit.”
“Weird way to say thank you.” You click your tongue and look down at Holly. “Do you see how your father treats me? You should bite him.”
“My son would never. But also, thank you.” He flops onto the sofa. “You do look like shit, though. You wanna talk about it?”
“Not with you, preferably.”
“Oh, gross, is it a dating thing, then?”
“I—no.” You pause. It’s not a dating thing, but you still feel like you’ve got motion sickness whenever you think about it. How would you even begin to explain this to Yoongi, anyway? Someone wrote a porn fic about me and Namjoon. You remember Namjoon, right? Namjoon, that I’ve known and have been friends with since college. Yeah, that Namjoon. Anyway, someone wrote fanfiction about us having sex, and it fucked me up so bad I can no longer be in the same room as him.
No fucking way.
“You look like you’re holding in a fart.”
“You know, I’m getting really sick of you. Did you just come here to insult me?”
He snorts, but his smirk dissipates a few seconds later, a familiar seriousness filling the void. “We’re okay, right? Was the Yijeong thing too soon?”
“No,” you answer immediately, leaning over to flick him on the forehead. “We’re fine, and if you’re happy, then I’m happy for you.” He still looks doubtful. “You want me to start singing ‘I Will Always Love You’ or something? It’s just… weird work stuff.”
“Depends. Are you singing the Dolly Parton or Whitney version? And real work or podcast work?”
“Podcast work, and obviously the Whitney version.”
Yoongi seems surprised by this, eyebrows disappearing beneath his fringe. “Like, the podcast with Namjoon?” He presses his tongue into the fat of his cheek when you nod your head. “Not gonna lie, I didn’t think that was possible.”
“Like I said, it’s weird. It wasn’t, like, an argument or anything.”
“How weird?”
“You’re so fake, Min Yoongi. You act like you’re so distinguished and above drama, but really you’re just as hungry for gossip as the rest of us.”
He shrugs. “I’m not denying it.”
God help you, you’re going to rip off the band-aid. “Someone… Jesus, this is so embarrassing. Someone… wrote? Fanfiction? About us.”
“About you and Namjoon?”
“Yeah.”
“Oh my god—”
“About us… uh. Having sex? Specifically.”
“Oh my god—”
“Jungkook found it and thought it’d be funny if we read it for an episode.”
“Oh my god?”
“So we did? And it was really weird, which I expected, because I’ve known Namjoon for a long time, and I never, ever thought about having sex with him because we were together and me and Namjoon are friends, so yeah, it was fucking weird. But now… I don’t know. I can’t stop thinking about it? And now we can’t even be in the same room as one another.” Yoongi is a concerning shade of red. “So our show is gonna get canceled, because we can only release b-side stuff for so long until people realize something’s up, and it was Namjoon’s podcast to begin with so obviously I’ll get fired—”
“Oh my god, you want to fuck Namjoon.”
Yoongi sounds like a strangled cat when he says this, which does not help the way you feel like you’ve been hit square in the face with a frying pan. “No,” you argue, though it sounds more like a question. You do not want to fuck Namjoon. “No, no. No. It’s just because it was weird.”
“Did you forget I dated you for six years? I know what you look like when you want to fuck someone.”
“You’re telling me you wouldn’t be weird if someone wrote fanfiction about you fucking your friend?”
“Not if I didn’t actually want to fuck them, no.”
“You’re a liar. Get your dog and get out of my apartment.”
Yoongi laughs as he stands. Pats you on the back in the most condescending way you’ve ever had someone pat you on the back. “Let me know how it goes. No need to give me credit for your moment of horny clarity.”
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Min Yoongi is a bastard.
Unfortunately, as you come to find out, he’s also a correct bastard.
You want to fuck Namjoon.
Which is… not great, you have to admit, considering he can barely stand to be around you, so you take another cold shower and decide you’re going to take this to your grave. You’re going to spend the rest of the weekend getting your shit together, and you’re going to show up on Monday and be a consummate professional. You’re going to look at Namjoon and say, ha ha, isn’t it so funny someone thought we would have sex? I don’t think about it at all because I am so cool and normal about it.
You’ve got it all planned out. You’re going to show up fifteen minutes early with your own box of pastries. You’re going to look nice, if not a little pretentious—maybe a nice sweater. You’re going to be prepared with notes of your own. You might even be nice to the villain of the week so Namjoon doesn’t have to pinch the bridge of his nose and sigh at you.
And then someone knocks on your door.
You find Namjoon on the other side, and all your plans immediately go to shit.
Has he always been this tall? You can’t remember. You can’t remember a lot of things, including how to speak, because Yoongi had launched you into a crisis of epic proportions and now here’s the source of it, standing right in front of you. With all of his… height. And thighs. And that heady, musky cologne he always wears, that you can still smell now even though there’s an unfortunate amount of distance between you.
“Uh, hi.”
You blink. “Hi,” you parrot, and it’s a little insulting how one single word seems to have sucked up all of your brainpower. “Namjoon,” you tack on, not awkward at all.
“Sorry to just show up,” he says, scratching at the back of his neck. Very bad idea; makes his biceps bulge. You barely swallow your whimper. “It’s just—my phone’s still broken, and it felt bad leaving things how we did? So I was hoping we could talk.”
Talk. Namjoon wants to talk to you. Normally: not a problem. Currently: big problem. You manage a nod, open the door wider to let him in, and you don’t think about how jarring it is to have Namjoon in your space. You don’t think about how your legs feel like jelly all of a sudden, or what it’d be like if Namjoon bent you over the couch, or the kitchen counter, or the—
You cough. “Do you want anything to drink?”
“Oh, sure. Maybe just some water if you have it.”
If you have it. What kind of person doesn’t have water? But you tell him to make himself comfortable and get him some anyway, and you mull too long over the size of the glass. Ultimately decide on a smaller one, because if things get unbearably awkward you can excuse yourself to the kitchen to get more.
“I haven’t been here in a while,” Namjoon says from the living room, and when you look up he’s sorting through a stack of books near the window. Some he’d lent you months ago, notes jotted in the corners, sticky notes in the shape of sea animals on important pages. “You ever wind up reading this?”
The Idiot. Namjoon had raved about it when he was in the midst of his 19th century Russian phase, right after he’d read a bunch of Tolstoy and Pushkin. You shake your head—though, judging from the title, you wonder if someone hadn’t written your biography.
“It’s good. If you have the time, you should definitely give it a shot.”
“Yeah, of course,” you say, handing over his water. You take a seat in an armchair, pull your knees to your chest. Namjoon’s still looking through your books, isn’t looking at you, so it feels safe to say, “You wanted to talk?”
“Yeah.” He moves to sit on the floor, massive thighs spreading until he’s comfortable. Thank god he can’t see the look on your face. “I just wanted to make sure we’re alright. Things have felt pretty weird since we filmed the, uh.” He coughs. “Thing.”
“Right, yeah.” You realize he’s waiting for an answer, and you offer up a very rushed, “We’re fine, Joon.”
“Are you sure?”
Yeah, you’re sure: sure you absolutely cannot be having this conversation in the safety and sanctity of your own home. It’s tainted now, contaminated by all your uncontrolled horny thoughts about the man in front of you. You’ll have to fumigate. Might have to pick up and move, actually, or call an exorcist.
“I’m sure,” you assure him. “The… thing… was weird, but it’s fine. Temporary.”
“Do you think we shouldn’t have done it?”
That’s the million-dollar question, isn’t it? Because, in isolation, reading a porn fic about yourselves wasn’t a big deal. No one got hurt. Everyone who needed to be consulted was consulted. The episode made the two of you a lot of money, and Jungkook even promised to send some of it to the author, so your bases are beyond covered.
So, should you have done it? There wasn’t a good enough reason not to, because the story itself was never the problem.
The problem is staring you right in the face. It’s sitting on your floor, a book cracked in half at the spine and forgotten in his lap. The problem is looking at you like you hold all the answers to the universe’s secrets, and it’s no small thing to be looked at like that. The problem is that Namjoon is looking at you like that from across the room but you’re wondering what it’d look like from on top of you.
The problem is that you’ve co-hosted a podcast with Namjoon for three years, have known him even longer, and you’ve just realized today that you want to have sex with him.
And you can’t say that, can you, because Namjoon came here to fix things which really does not lend itself to a hookup. Namjoon cares about your friendship and your working relationship so much he came here to try and salvage it, so you’re going to keep your mouth shut. You’re going to say, “I think it’s okay that we did,” and leave it at that. Because it is okay.
Because you’re the problem.
It feels like a small victory when Namjoon sags in relief. When he exhales and says, “Okay, good, because I think so, too.”
“It made us a lot of money,” you tack on.
Namjoon’s eyes widen as he laughs. “Right? Like, that was almost too much money. Just to watch us read porn?”
“About ourselves. I think that was the selling point.”
He stands. You do, too. “Never thought I’d be doing that,” he says, returning the book to where it belongs. “Definitely the most embarrassing thing I’ve done for money.”
“Being a man with a podcast wasn’t embarrassing enough?”
He snorts. Gets closer to the door. “Hey now.” You’re going to survive this. “Thanks for entertaining me, by the way. For a second there I was really worried we’d fucked it all up.”
Just the ending. Just one more thing to say and you’ll be done with this, and then you can take your third cold shower in recent memory and triple text Yoongi with a full-fledged mental breakdown. Maybe he’ll bring Holly back and you can register him as your emotional support animal.
And Namjoon must sense the awkwardness that’s crept back in, because he tries to cover it with a joke. Says, “Haaa, like you’d actually piss on me, right?”
Except it sounds like he’s got a mouth full of marbles.
It’s no wonder you mishear him.
Because he says like you’d actually piss on me but you hear like you’d actually kiss me, and there isn’t a universe that exists in which the following makes sense: you, stunned into silence in the doorframe, Namjoon saying his goodbyes, you thinking fuck it, last chance and saying, “Yeah, I’d kiss you.”
Namjoon stops dead in his tracks. “What?”
Your entire body is on fire. “Is, uh. Is that not what you said?”
“I don’t think it matters anymore what I said.”
“I’d argue that it does, for the sake of my digni—”
“You’d kiss me?” Namjoon… doesn’t look put off of the idea, which is surely a point in your favor. Interesting to note that his diction is crystal clear, now. Bastard. “You’d kiss me right now?”
There’s also no explanation for the way you say: “It’s only been an option for ten seconds and you’re already begging for it?”
You’d say there’s no explanation for the way Namjoon’s jaw clenches, the way he repeats I don’t beg for anything, but maybe the simple fact is: the two of you want to fuck each other. And, judging from the way Namjoon crowds your space, keeps dropping his gaze to your mouth, it seems very likely to happen.
All that fixating you’d done on Namjoon’s thighs was wasted, you think, as you take in the shape of his mouth. His lips. The way his tongue darts out to run along the bottom at the last second before he reaches out, tilts your head up, and finally presses his mouth to yours.
And you’ve got to laugh, because no piece of written fiction could ever accurately portray what it feels like. How soft his lips are. The way he touches you—gentle, but still dominant enough to have you moving the way he wants, have you backing up into your apartment so he can smile against your mouth as he closes the door behind him.
No piece of fiction would get it right, the way you’re unsteady on your feet, breathless at the way Namjoon’s kissing you. How he only breaks apart long enough to ask where do you want me in that throaty, deep voice of his. How you’re so overwhelmed you can’t decide: unsure if you want to waste the time it’d take to get to your bedroom, but if it’s only going to happen once, wanting to make it count.
So you decide to risk it. Plant your hands in the middle of his exceptionally broad chest and push him in the direction of the hallway, and if the two of you can’t wait, can’t control yourselves, well.
But the story had gotten one thing right: Namjoon does kiss like a branding iron, hot and greedy. Namjoon kisses you like there’s nothing else he wants to do in this lifetime, and it makes you dizzy. Has you off-kilter, stumbling into the wall as you try to remember where the fuck your bedroom is and why it’s so far. Just like the fictional version of you, you also moan when he licks into your mouth.
“Should I do it the way we did in the fic?” Namjoon asks as the two of you cross the threshold into your bedroom, a cheeky grin on his face. “Do it like this?” he questions, pushing you gently until you’re on the back in the middle of your bed, chest heaving as you lift your head to look at him.
Namjoon is so, so big from where you lay, just hovering at the foot of your bed. Cheeks ruddy, bulge prominent. “What’d you say you wanted?”
Takes a second to remember how to breathe, let alone what you’d read. What do you want, Namjoon had asked, right before he’d sank to his knees in front of you. “Whatever you’re willing to give,” you answer.
Namjoon smiles. Puts one knee on the bed, and the way it dips beneath his weight is unsettling. Why does he have to be so fucking large. “That’s right, baby.” Christ, you think, because there’s another thing that fic had gotten right. No one on earth would be immune to Namjoon calling them baby in that tone of voice.
The riposte biting at the back of your teeth gets swallowed whole as Namjoon grabs your ankles and drags you to the edge of the bed. “May I?” he asks, hands poised above the waistline of your leggings. You nod, and Namjoon drags down your underwear with them. “Fuck, look at you,” he groans, awe creeping into the edge of his words.
“You want me to do it the same way? Hm? You’re being awfully quiet; thought you were giving me shit about being the one in charge,” he chides.
Because you’re short-circuiting. Namjoon’s on his knees, just like you’d envisioned, and his mouth is dangerously close to your cunt. How can you be expected to think and speak under these conditions? But if Namjoon can find the brainpower to be a bastard, so can you, because what you’d read and the way he’d reacted can both never be forgotten. So you thread your hands into his hair and pull. The resulting moan is enough to sustain you for years.
“Are you gonna keep running your mouth, or are you gonna make me come on it?”
He blinks. “Jesus Christ.”
There’s precedent. Fictional Namjoon ate you out like a man starved, like he couldn’t get enough. Had fictional you writhing and insatiable, so it’s a lot to live up to, but it doesn’t deter him in the slightest. He hesitates for only a second, giving you one last chance to back out before the two of you set every last boundary on fire, and then he’s settling between your thighs and making you see stars.
Now you know what it’s like. Now you don’t have to rely on fiction, and it doesn’t matter because it’d never compare to the way Namjoon feels as he works to bring you to your ruin. The way he flattens his tongue to lick long, thick stripes; the way his lips suction around your clit. The way it feels when he groans against your core. The way he says, “Fuck, you do taste good,” like that’s a completely normal thing to say. Like he doesn’t know exactly what he’s doing to you.
But you need more and Namjoon knows it. His mouth doesn’t leave your cunt for a second, but his fingers find your mouth, so you put on a show. Wrap your lips around them, suck on them the way he’s doing to you, make sure they’re slick. Namjoon groans again, doubles his efforts. Slides one thick finger inside of you and barely lets you adjust before he’s adding a second.
In an embarrassingly short amount of time, Namjoon has you unraveling. Presses incessantly on a spot that has your vision whiting out. Has you trembling, a little panicked as you say, “Joon, fuck—Namjoon, wait—” as it builds and builds and builds.
You might black out for a second, because you come to and Namjoon looks… stunned. He looks like he can’t believe any of what just happened, and you blink a few times, try to come back into your body, and when you regain enough consciousness, you’re extremely aware of the large wet patch beneath you.
“Um—”
“Holy shit.”
“Namjoon, that’s not—that’s embarrassing—can you grab a—”
He shuts you up with a kiss. Presses the taste of you into your skin, and all those silly protests die in your throat, because if Namjoon was needy before, he’s desperate now. Covers your body with his own, hips dipping down low enough to press his erection into the juncture of your thigh, and the weight of him is delicious. Has you fisting the fabric of his t-shirt to pull him closer, has you pulling it over his head, his pants following. Has your hands skimming down every thick part of his body until you reach his cock, hard and aching and slick with pre-cum.
“I need to suck you off later,” you say, done with overthinking. Time to just be honest, and Kim Namjoon has a dick you need to feel down your throat. “Remind me.”
He whines, thrusts into your hand a little harder. “How could I forget that?”
“Don’t know. Didn’t know if this would be the only time,” you answer. “Did you bring a condom?” Namjoon nods, fetches one from his wallet and rolls it on.
He hovers above you again. Looks nervous, all of a sudden, like he can’t tell his lefts from his rights. All out of sorts. You’re about to tell him it’s fine, you don’t have to do anything he doesn’t want to, don’t have to do anything at all, when he says, “It doesn’t have to be.” You just stare. “The only time.”
There’s a conversation to be had. You know that. Both of you clearly have feelings you need to talk about and sort out, but you reckon they can wait. They’ll still be there in the afterglow, in the morning. So you nod, say okay, Joon, and kiss away the insecurities that still linger.
You think about the fic. Think maybe Namjoon would appreciate it if you cracked a stupid joke, just like he’d tried to do earlier. “Has anyone ever called your cock stupid?”
He laughs, breath fanning against your skin. “No. Wanna try it and see what happens?”
Might as well. You try to remember the exaggerated tone of voice you’d used. Repeat the line—“Do you even know what to do with that big, stupid cock?”—and wait.
There’s a beat of silence, and then—
Namjoon swallows thickly. “I, um. Unfortunately, I think that really works for me.” You laugh. Pull him closer. Wrap your legs around his waist as he starts to move against you. Has jokes of his own. “Please. Please let me fuck you.”
You roll your eyes, laugh tapering into a giggle. “Do you know how?” Namjoon nods, looking all too much like a puppy eager to please its owner. “Do you promise?” He nods again. “Okay. Okay, come here.”
You expect him to move fast; expect the first time to be frenzied and a little awkward. It isn’t. Namjoon lines himself up and pushes the smallest bit inside, and then he’s leaning down to kiss you. Threads your fingers together, squeezes your hand. Pushes further inside and mumbles praise just beneath your ear.
It’s dizzying, the amount of care Namjoon handles you with. How soft he is. Does nothing to ease the discomfort of the stretch, the overwhelming fullness, but he talks you through it. Tells you how good you feel, how beautiful you look. Spills a lot of words you’d probably be embarrassed to hear and he’d be embarrassed to say if this was any other time, but in the heat of the moment it all just works to unravel you faster.
He bottoms out. “Okay?” he asks, and you’re rewarded with a dimpled smile when you say you are. Namjoon is a devastating kind of beautiful.
But, as he gives you time to adjust and you give him the all-clear, he also fucks like a demon. What once was hand-holding is now your wrists pinned to the bed, your body caged beneath him as he rolls his hips at a pace that has your eyes rolling back into your head. You’ve been deceived. Lured into a false sense of security.
It’s almost a shame this isn’t being recorded, because you want to memorize all the sounds Namjoon’s making. Want to hear them for the rest of your life. Don’t want anyone else to be the reason he sounds like this, and as he ups his pace and presses his lips to your neck, you don’t want to sound like this because of anyone else, either.
Maybe one of those times in the future, you can talk him into it.
Namjoon reaches down, rubs circles into your clit. Every time you think you might be close, he pulls his hand away, smiles like the devil. You let him have his fun for a while, let him think you’re keen to lie back and take it, and then you tighten your legs around his waist and flip him onto his back.
He doesn’t think it’s very funny. Looks up at you all bewildered. “What’re you—”
“You were taking too long,” you snark. “Figured I’d take matters into my own hands.”
“Yeah? Shit,” he says as you begin to move. “Fuck, baby, like that. Ride me just like that.”
You do. Don’t change a thing, because Namjoon’s cock is long and thick enough to hit exactly where you need it to. You can feel yourself clenching, feel yourself getting wetter, and the sight of Namjoon beneath you does nothing to stave off the inevitable. He looks even better than you’d imagined: skin flushed, eyes squeezed shut, head thrown back, sweat-slick. You want to make him cry. Want to give him the entire world. You will.
Namjoon thrusts at the same time you roll your hips, and that’s what does it. Has you crying out, has stars flashing behind your eyelids. Has you saying fuck, fuck, fuck as he drives you over the edge for the second time. Has you on the brink of oversensitive as he thrusts a few more times to chase his own end, almost delirious at the way Namjoon moans as he spills into the condom.
Has you swooning, just a bit, at the dopey way Namjoon smiles at you, eyes half-lidded and crinkled at the corners.
“Was that okay?”
You snort. “Yeah, I’d say it was decent.”
“Maybe next time you could pee on me,” he jokes.
You whack him on the chest. “Sure. Or we could record it.”
Has you a little shocked at the way his cock twitches inside of you at the mention of it.
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On Monday, you don’t wear a pretentious sweater.
When you stroll in, Jungkook’s already got the best donut shoved halfway into his mouth because he’s a shithead. He eyes you warily, probably hoping with all his hope that you spent the weekend finding God and getting your shit together.
And then he realizes you’ve got on Namjoon’s hoodie and he nearly chokes to death.
“What the fuck are you wearing—”
Namjoon appears at that very moment, and it’s so hard not to take credit for the way he’s glowing, the dazed smile on his face. But Jungkook notices, because Jungkook notices everything, and his gaze darts between the two of you: your hoodie, Namjoon’s face, your face. He opens his mouth, something inappropriate bound to spill out, but Namjoon beats him to the punch. “Ready?” he asks you, and you nod.
It’s seamless.
No hiccups, no awkward stuttering. Namjoon gets through the intro without a hitch, and it feels exactly like it used to. Just two friends having a conversation. It’s obvious Jungkook still wants to say something, but after suffering through last week, he stays quiet lest he makes it worse and sends the two of you back to the bad place.
“How was your weekend, Pipe? Do anything fun?” Namjoon rolls his lips, tries not to laugh.
So you play along. “No, not really, just some dog sitting. How about you?”
“Oh, you know me. Had another first date on Saturday.”
“Did you? How’d it go?”
“Perfect.”
It’s a blessing Jungkook isn’t filming this, because your eyebrows raise so far they nearly disappear from your face altogether. There isn’t even a hint of hesitation in Namjoon’s voice, and although you would’ve described it the same way, hearing him say it with such conviction has you a little stunned. “Wow. You gonna see her again?”
“Yeah,” Namjoon says, sharing a private smile with you. “I think I am.”
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who the FUCK is namjoon dating Posted by u/pod-shipper 7 minutes ago This has honestly ruined my entire day. I thought all the stories he told about dating were a bit… Like, what kind of guy has a podcast about relationships but can’t seem to be in one? But you could just HEAR it in his voice how much he likes this woman he went on a date with over the weekend and I’m sick to my stomach. (+2195) ↳ bro you and me both 😭 i genuinely thought him and piper had something going on fr (+1302) ↳ Seriously might stop listening because of this! Any woman with self-respect would never let their partner host a podcast with someone they’re obviously in love with. If he gets serious with this woman, Piper will be gone within 6 months, mark my words. (+927) ↳ I wouldn’t worry about it too much! My cousin works at a really nice restaurant in the same city Namjoon lives in, and she said she saw this “date” on Saturday and that it wasn’t anything serious. (+788) ↳ Piper got a cat and Namjoon finally got a second date. Face it, it’s over. (+325) ↳ cannot believe him and piper aren’t dating.. do you think i should delete all my tiktok edits? (+4) ↳ this is unhinged lmfao i thought y’all hated piper? you’re in here bitching abt her being a “misandrist” every week and now ur gonna stop listening bc namjoon isn’t dating her? pick a lane and stay in it (-64)
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Thank you so much for reading! I'd love to hear your thoughts, and reblogs/shares are always welcome! I appreciate you very much~ ♡
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sunnebeam · 8 months
Text
"i was hoping i wouldn't have to resort to this."
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A 'PERKS OF BEING A HOUSEHUSBAND' DRABBLE.
pairing: min yoongi x reader
plot: the (mis)adventures of retired gangster min yoongi as he leaves behind the life of the mafia and navigates the way of the househusband.
warnings: the way of the househusband au, marriage au, crack, domesticity, yoongi unintentionally scares people
masterlist + disclaimers.
note: go on tell me d-day!yoongi isn't tatsu I DARE YOU 😤 btw u don't need to watch the way of the househusband before reading this, but i swear u won't regret it if u do lol it's so funny (and it gives great visuals for this fic!). anyways, enjoy!! i'd love to hear ur thoughts so drop by my askbox and let's chat :)
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Water drips down his neck as he washes his face. Droplets fall down his tattooed back, tracing the meticulous lines and bold colors that contrast his pale skin.
After rinsing and drying off, he dons on his outfit for the day – a fitted, white, short-sleeved shirt that shows off the intricate tattoos on both his arms and some black sweatpants – and puts on his signature apron – a beige, cotton apron with a drawing of his brown poodle on the front. Said poodle is staring at him from the bathroom door as he takes one last look at the mirror.
An old, bumpy scar runs down his right eye.
"Perfect," he says to himself before heading to the kitchen with his dog following right behind.
Min Yoongi never used to wake up this early. But these days, he wakes up bright and early at six o'clock because he has an important assignment.
"What do you think, Holly? Too big?"
The poodle barks in response, and taking its opinion into consideration, Yoongi adjusts his gimbap slices accordingly, making them a tad bit smaller and just the perfect size for your lunchbox.
"Shit!"
The door to your shared bedroom opens and you run out, already dressed in your corporate attire. You run to the kitchen where your husband is and get a huge glass of water.
"I'm late!" you screech, all while gulping down the whole glass.
"But you still have a few hours," he points out in confusion.
"I forgot I have an early meeting!" you explain in a hurry, putting on your heels before giving your husband a big smooch on the lips and blowing Holly a kiss. "Sorry, Yoonie! I'll see you later!"
And you're out the door.
Yoongi blinks for a few moments before shaking his head. He's chuckling in amusement at your mishap, but if any outsider hears his laughter, it just sounds a bit manic.
"Well, looks like it's just you and me, Holly."
Holly barks.
"Huh? What was that?"
Holly barks.
Yoongi stares at the poodle, then at your Hello Kitty lunchbox he meticulously prepared, then back at the poodle.
"She forgot her lunchbox?"
Holly barks.
"Fuck."
Yoongi snaps into action, securing the lunchbox and putting it inside a Hello Kitty cloth bag before running out the door with his cute apron still on. He mounts his bicycle and speeds towards your office – which, if he was driving a car, would have broken numerous traffic regulations but luckily he isn't a stranger to breaking a law or two.
He's almost to your office. He's halfway there.
But unfortunately, there's a bit of a situation.
"What's your occupation, sir?"
The two police officers stare at him hesitantly after flagging him down for pedalling too fast with his bicycle. They're debating on giving him a ticket but then Yoongi answers.
"Househusband."
They stare at him.
"What?"
Yoongi sighs. At this rate, he won't be able to catch you before you clock in.
"Wait a second," one of the officers says, eyeing the tattoos peeking out from Yoongi's shirt and the big scar on his eye. "Are you..."
They stare at the name on the ticket. Min Yoongi.
"...Agust D?"
No way, the other officer thinks. There's a rumor about an infamous gangster called Agust D who used to slaughter his enemies with his own two hands. This guy can't be him. Right? Right?!
They hold a breath when Yoongi reaches into his pocket.
"I was hoping I wouldn't have to resort to this," he murmurs.
"Wait, sir. There's no need for violence—"
"Here," Yoongi shuts them up by thrusting one of his most precious possessions.
A gift card for discounts at the local grocery store.
The police officers stare at the gift card, bewildered.
"As much as it pains me to let go of this," Yoongi continues, "take it. Now, I have to go."
And he pedals away, leaving behind one gift card and two very confused cops.
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honey-boyyoongi · 1 year
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Oh, baby!
Reader x Yoongi | Part 52//??
Summary ➪ Min Yoongi, is a simple man. He likes his coffee black and iced, he enjoys his job, and he loves his baby girl. But what happens when the new neighbor, quite literally, drops into his life?
Warnings ➪ any typos are mine; angst lol; mentions of self neglect; mentions of toxic family dynamic; any crosses out names i wasn’t able to tag;
A/n: Heeeeeeey guys! I hope y’all enjoy this! As always feedback is appreciated and if you want to be added to the tag list please let me know 💕
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