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#yoongi shadow
ddaisys-art · 1 year
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Testing how stuff will look, tumblr has changed a lot since I was last here
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magicshop · 6 months
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INTERLUDE: SHADOW BTS (방탄소년단)' SUGA (2020)
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remedyx · 2 months
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Shadows We Trust
BTS Ot7 x Reader
Chapter 16
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I strolled through the bar confidently. A mere few months ago, I wouldn’t have dreamed of setting one foot in here, but things changed. I had more reason to feel safe in places like this than I did in any other part of my life now. I hardly paid attention to anyone around me. My feet carrying me through the building just like they had many times before. Knowing the way without me even having to direct them. Back to the last booth, where I knew he’d be.
And I wasn’t disappointed. I saw the back of his head, those dark brown curls as unkempt as usual. Out of control really. But he refused to cut it, no matter how many times I mentioned it. I slid into the booth across from him, that familiar smirk making its way onto his lips as he peered up at me.
“Careful. Come in here too often and my crowd will begin to think you’re with me.”
“Everyone already assumes that.”
“Touché.” He chuckled, bringing the cigarette in his hand back to his mouth.
I grimaced, looking at the thing in disgust.
“I thought we agreed you wouldn’t smoke around me.”
“Well, if we’re being fair, I didn’t really expect your company tonight and I already lit it.”
“I don’t like it.”
“I know. I’ll consider quitting. Just for you.” He winked, taking one more drag before snuffing it out in the ash tray on the table between us. “So, to what do I owe the pleasure of your company this evening. Not that I’m not happy to see you, of course.”
“You know. Don’t you?”
He cocked an eyebrow. “Know what?”
“Whatever it is they’re keeping from me.”
It didn’t take a keen eye to notice how tense he suddenly became. Eyes leaving mine before they could unintentionally give too much away. His body language told me enough. He did know. I reached across the table, grasping onto his hands tightly.
“Please, V. You’re the only one I can ask.”
“I shouldn’t be. This isn’t something I can get in the middle of.”
“I tried asking him already. He just tells me not to worry about it.”
“Then you shouldn’t.”
“It’s not that simple. You’re all keeping something from me. Isn’t it fair for me to know if it concerns me?”
His eyes darkened, the underlying anger I had only ever seen a few number of times forcing its way to the forefront. And for the first time, I was on the receiving end of it.
“Not when it risks getting you killed.”
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I jolted awake. My eyes blearily focusing on the ceiling above me as my dream faded away, taking everything with it until I couldn’t remember anymore. It was strange how it kept happening. They were all so vivid, that much I knew, but the way they seamlessly evaporated like smoke the moment I woke left me with nothing more than a whisper of recognition. Unable to shake the feeling and also unable to recall what conjured it. Quietly, I turned my head to the window. The sunset cast everything in an orange glow. The day circus would have almost everything wrapped up by now. The day done and left to the crowds the Dark Circus would no doubt attract.
Except that we weren’t to perform tonight. This evening would be my first practice with Jungkook working on the new routine he had planned for the two of us. As much as I dreaded facing any of them after what happened last night, I couldn’t abandon the entire reason I chose to work with them to begin with. Reluctantly, I dragged myself out of bed and down the hall. I was silently thankful it didn’t appear Yoongi was awake yet. His door still tightly shut at the opposite end of trailer although I figured it wouldn’t be too much longer before he started getting around for the day.
I hadn’t heard him come in last night. Even though I laid awake for the majority of the night. I struggled getting to sleep. My brain refusing to shut off as it replayed what happened last night over and over. I still couldn’t escape it, the memory lodged in my mind even while I was awake. I pushed the bathroom door open tiredly, my eyes gravitating towards the mirror above the sink.
Ugh, I looked like shit. Felt like it too if I were being candid, but I could hide the way I felt a lot better than the way I looked. The dark circles under my eyes, the paleness of my skin, my tired expression, it’s kind of amazing what a night without sleep can do to someone. I flipped the faucet on, praying that maybe a bit of water and my skin routine could revitalize it some. I couldn’t get what happened last night out of my head. The way I had let Taehyung get to me. Finding out that he had been the one to sneak into my bedroom all those nights ago and rather than being repulsed by that revelation, I had fucked him instead. There was definitely something wrong with me. I should’ve known when I started spying on Hoseok, but that was harmless. How was I supposed to know that a darker piece of me would act on the desires I kept under lock and key? I shook my head, washing my face a bit more aggressively than I normally would. No. I simply let my anger get the best of me. It was a one-time occurrence, and it would never happen again.
I think…
Two quick knocks pulled me out of my pep talk. Drying my face quickly, I twisted the knob and opened the bathroom door. Yoongi blinked at me tiredly, his red waves endearingly disheveled likely not having bothered to fix it before wandering his way down the hall.
“Good morning.”
His answering smile was heart-melting.
Evening. He mouthed, tapping his wrist as if he’d had a watch on.
“Right. Good evening.”
It was the first time I was seeing him not clad in a jacket or oversized hoodie. Black seemed to be the color of choice for him as I looked down at the large plain t-shirt he had clearly slept in. The front of it all wrinkled and the collar stretched out exposing a piece of his collarbones. But his neck is what caught my attention. The front of it was covered in scars. The skin there mangled and darker in color compared to rest of his pale complexion. I wondered how I had never noticed it before. But up to this point he had taken measures to cover it as best he could. As if sensing where my attention had been drawn, he shifted anxiously. Hand coming up to gather as much of his loose shirt collar he could and cover the damage.
I averted my eyes in the next second, a bit upset I had made him so uncomfortable. It must be something he’s self-conscious of and I had more or less gawked at it like an idiot.
“Hungry?” I asked trying to deflect the awkwardness that had manifested between us. “I was thinking we could have breakfast, or dinner, together before I head out with Jungkook for practice.”
He nodded, stepping out of my way so I could pass him and leave the bathroom. His eyes trained on the floor leaving me with a sad feeling knowing I had made him that uncomfortable.
“I’ll get started on it then. Any requests?”
He grunted noncommittally before shaking his head again.
“I’ll just see what’s in the fridge then.”
He waited until I was out of sight before closing the door. Unsure how to remedy the newfound tension between us, I continued to the kitchen. I hadn’t meant to stare, but I’d be lying if I didn’t admit that I wasn’t curious about those scars. But I also realized that neither of us really knew each other well enough to be sharing secrets like that. Sighing, I opened his fridge, digging around to see what I could whip up. It felt a little weird to be rummaging through someone else’s fridge. It would probably take some time for this place to feel like I belonged here too, if it even happened.
Depending on how long it takes me to catch onto the new routines would determine my time here. I flicked on a couple of the kitchen lights, the sun finally dipping low enough on the horizon to warrant the use of artificial light. Quiet shuffling behind me had me turning around, Yoongi having changed and looking more awake now. He tossed a notepad onto the counter, something already written on it as he motioned for me to read it.
I’m sorry I made you uncomfortable.
“No.” I told him, turning to face him. “You didn’t. If anything, I’m sorry I made you uncomfortable. I didn’t mean to stare like I did.”
He took his pen in hand again, writing quickly.
I was worried you’d think they’re ugly.
He stared down at the sentence. His fingers gripping tighter around the pen before he violently scribbled out the last word. I didn’t miss the subtle trembling in his hand while he rewrote.
Hideous.
A sound that I could only attribute to some sort of frustrated sigh left him as he scribbled over two words this time.
I was worried you’d think I’m hideous.
I laid my hand over his before he could go back to scratching out what he wrote. He paused, shifting his attention from his words to where my hand held his. All at once, his anger dissipated. Leaving nothing except a sadness I couldn’t fathom.
“Yoongi, I don’t think that.”
He dropped his pen, hesitantly turning his palm up to intertwine his fingers with mine. Slowly, he lifted his eyes to mine. The beautiful shade of silvery blue searching my face for any hints of deceit. As if he found it hard to believe that his scars truly didn’t matter to me. I squeezed our fingers a bit tighter.
“They don’t matter to me.”
His brows pinched together, free hand lifting towards his neck and softly pressing against the place his scars would have been visible if he hadn’t covered them again. A spark of that anger returning with the disgust he felt for himself.
Broken.
He mouthed vehemently, looking away from me. He was pulling away, his fingers slipping through mine until I grasped onto them harder. I grabbed the sleeve of his sweatshirt with my other hand, making sure he wasn’t going anywhere.
“You’re not.” I told him firmly. “I don’t see you that way.”
I let his hand go as he reached for his pen again, his obvious frustration with not being able to converse normally with me being taken out on the paper as it crinkled under his angry strokes.
I’m not who I used to be.
“That’s not important. The person you used to be isn’t who’s here with me now. The Yoongi you are here, with me, is the one I care about.”
He moved as if he were about to write something else. His hand hovered over the paper, unsure. I didn’t know if it was because he was thinking about what he wanted to say, or if he was trying to find the words, but I remained patient. Unwilling to let him go in case he took it to mean I was going back on my conviction. Finally, he dropped his hand to the pad again. Letters coming out shaky under the hesitant hand that wrote them out.
Do you like me?
The question was unexpected, but a part of me understood that he was seeking reassurance. Whatever had happened to him left him with more than just physical scars. He was emotionally damaged as well. Forced to live with the thought that if someone did happen to see the physical evidence of the horror he lived through they would be utterly repulsed by it. They would think differently of him because of them. All to be seen were the scars and not the man. The realization was heartbreaking. It wasn’t lost on me how strange it was for me to feel this way towards a man I had witnessed murder someone right in front of me.
But I hated knowing how he thought of himself. That he was less of a human being for living through something traumatic. I tugged on the sleeve I still held, forcing him to drop his pen that he was in the middle of writing with again, and turn towards me. The eyes that looked at me were vulnerable, the blue-gray shimmering with the mistiness gathering in them. I stepped into him, wrapping my arms around his waist as tight as I could. He was slow to return it, his hands wrapping around me loosely before gradually bringing me in closer as he let himself fall into the comfort I was offering him.
“I do like you Yoongi. You’ve been kind and accommodating. You saved my life. The way you look doesn’t change any of that.”
I didn’t say anything even as I felt his body tremble against mine. I simply held him for as long as he’d let me. Hoping that even a sliver of what I felt for him, about him, was apparent in the strength I embraced him with. The world around us could have come to stand still for all I cared, as long as Yoongi understood that he meant more to me than the wounds he carried. Forgetting, even, the words he had been in the middle of writing on his pad of paper.
I wish we could go back to how we were before…
Chapter 17》
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@strawberry-moonpies @iceprincessviviane @idkjustlovingbts @bookoffracturedescapes @btscentralforever @anjoellamorte @plexcaffeinate @comingupwithacoolnameishard @mellymousie @kiki-zb @felicityroth @rinkud @anaspectoflife @oreoqueen @welcometomyworld13 @reckkklessslove @hopeonthestreet67 @bex-tk1 @shawtylilsalty @jiminbluerose @savagemickey03 @hydrawaterdragon @xzmary @demarie04 @yu-justme @lilacdreams-00 @m4ggl3-g @shadowyjellyfishfest @kawaiikpoplover268 @amethystinesworld @starstruckfangirls @dvalitaes @iwishiwasrichasfuck @thebisexualonesworld @catribohope @luzzthemoon @shyminmin @ddaeing @ldysmfrst @bratty-tingz @friedlollipop @i-like-puppy-mg @channiespup @minjianhyung @skyys-universe @arcsiren
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kithtaehyung · 11 months
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oh yeah. it’s over for me.
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bubmyg · 7 days
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184/638 posting a picture every day until yoongi is home
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likeawildflower · 24 days
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meroutro · 1 year
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But my shadow rather grows even bigger
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g-giorno · 2 years
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obsessões.
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I'm used to be alone
However, it weights heavy sometimes
On loneliness
Little Weirds, Jenny Slate//Richard Cartwright//Those Who Leave and Those Who Stay (translated from the Italian by Ann Goldstein), Elena Ferrante//Holly Warburton//Shadow, bts suga//The handmaiden (2016)//No choir, Florence and the machine//Study, gouache on paper, 9”x12”, 2022 by Aron Wiesenfeld//Averno, Louise Glück//The wilds (2020-2022), by behbuh//One sings, the other doesn't (1977)
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singguks · 2 years
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friday love & the shadow puppets  →  yoongi moodboard.
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[ ? ] — so how did you get to work with the puppets? i know you're famous for discovering the next "boom" talent... how did you find them?
yoongi: they were actually the ones finding me. i was classmates with jin when in high school... he contacted me some years later to show me a mix. some raw material they were working on at the time... you could say i was the one getting lucky *chuckles*
[ ? ] — and friday love? don't be humble now, my source says her success is all on you!
yoongi: another moment of luck i'd say. i just happened to be in the right place at the right time when i first heard her sing. her success, by all means, is all on her and her talent. i'm just glad i got to take part in her journey. *small smile* is that all?
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[ back to masterlist ]
🧷 — singguks | all rights reserved. do not repost, translate or claim as your own.
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kpopandbookschild · 11 days
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SHADOWS BY SUGA OF BTS COVERED BY STRAY KIDS
IT HASN'T HAPPENED. BUT I WANT IT TOO.
ok so not alllll of stray kids, just Han and Changbin. like Han doing some of the more singy parts, them rapping together, Changbin doing the end part where the rap gets rougher. i need this cover in my life.
i need stray kids or jyp or their manager to see this.
STRAY KIDS JYP MANAGER, IF YOU SEE THIS, WE NEED THIS COVER. PLEASE.
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curio-queries · 17 days
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QUICK COMBO: D-DAY | INTERLUDE : SHADOW | AMYGDALA
HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY YOONGI
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Listening links and my thoughts on this QC below the cut:
Like most songs I end up liking, I didn't vibe with D-Day right at first but it didn't actually take me as long as many others do. It's not exactly the kind of music I expected myself to like even 5 years ago but I'm so happy to have it now.
Interlude : Shadow is THE song that sold me on Singer!Yoongi. I still wasn't really vibing with much of the rapline during my journey into BTS but when I found this song, the chorus about not letting him shine is just so absolutely gut-wrenching that I couldn't resist.
I adored Amygdala from first listen, even before I read the lyrics. But I did keep myself from watching the mv for quite some time due to the warning and my own mental headspace at the time. I'd been unexpectedly effected by another mv right before it but in hindsight, I would have been fine. This is the absolute definition of beauty in tragedy for me.
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remedyx · 2 months
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Shadows We Trust
BTS Ot7 x Reader
Chapter 18
Disclaimer for media use in this chapter. This story in general will use a host of visual aids. These are just for story depiction and not meant as a claim to what's being used. All images, videos, audio, music, etc. belong to their respective owners. These aids are for reference only.
The video used for this chapter is used as a reference for Jungkook and the reader's practice session. This does not mean it's the exact practice session, it's just so readers can visualize what it may look like. It makes it easier to watch than trying to explain in writing. To view the full clip used for this chapter, click here.
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While Jungkook may have been confident in my ability to pick up his routine relatively quickly, I wasn’t sure I shared that same confidence.
“…we’ll transition into a lift here and I’ll show you what position I want you in for my supports too.”
“Okay, not to burst your bubble or anything, but I’m struggling to see exactly how this is going to work. Lifts aren’t really something I’m used to doing and now you want me to do… that?” I gestured towards the video he was showing me.
It was clear Jungkook had put some thought into his routine. The clip he had of himself performing a good portion of it was amazing. Made even more so with Jimin as his makeshift partner for some of the lifts and his counterbalance.
“The way I see it, you’ve got a solid foundation. I purposely chose Jimin to try it with because the two of you are aerialists. If he was able to learn and execute it, I’m confident you can too.”
“Except you’re forgetting a big difference. Jimin is way more advanced than me.”
Jungkook chuckled, shaking his head before tossing his phone on a nearby mat. He had pulled the long blonde locks on top of his undercut back into a ponytail. The ends of it sticking out like tufts and looking way too cute and dangerously sexy at the same time. He was dressed comfortably in a pair of sweatpants and shooter shirt tank top that showed off that dark sleeve of ink.
“Don’t worry. I’ll ease you into it. Let’s start with some stretches.”
It had really been way too long since I had slipped into a practice routine. Even just the stretches felt really nice as my body settled back into some semblance of normalcy.
“How’d you sleep last night?”
I glanced up at Jungkook across from me, he sat on the ground, reaching for his toes. Ducking my gaze back to the ground, I shifted into a new position just so I wouldn’t have to look at him directly. His question was innocent enough, but I didn’t quite know how to answer without flat out lying to him. In all honesty, it was one of his performance partners’ fault I hardly got any sleep to begin with.
“Fine. I think it may take me a bit to get used to sleeping in a new place.”
He nodded, casting me a look out of the corner of his eye.
“That explains why you look so tired then.”
I hummed noncommittally before taking a seat across from him.
“What about you? It seemed like you were up pretty early this evening. Are you usually this early of a riser?”
“No.” He grinned. “I was just excited to see you.”
The nonchalance was unexpected, but then again, there wasn’t much in the short time I’ve known Jungkook that really seemed to ruffle his feathers. In retrospect, he’s poked little phrases here and there along those lines several times that we’ve spoken. I had brushed it off before as him just being friendly, but the somewhat bashful way he averted his eyes had me second-guessing. Is he actually flirting with me? Unable to keep the redness off my own cheeks, I cleared my throat a bit awkwardly.
“Can I ask you something?”
I used the uncomfortable pause to segue the conversation elsewhere.
“Anything.” He chirped, looking rather happy.
“Um, did the seven of you know each other before you came here to perform?”
Jungkook frowned, visually disappointed, until that same easygoing smile I was used to was back.
“Kind of. Some of us knew each other more than others. Yoongi and I were actually living together long before we met the others.”
“You and Yoongi lived together?”
Jungkook nodded. “Yeah, for a little while.”
Sensing this as an opportunity for me to learn more, I leaned towards him, pretending I was still stretching.
“Then can I ask you what Yoongi was like back then?”
Jungkook looked surprised that I was asking. His eyes flitting towards the door before returning to me.
“You want, to know more about Yoongi?”
I nodded, giving him a smile. “Yeah. It’s only natural, right? To want to know more about my roommate?”
“Your roommate. Right.” Jungkook’s lip jutted out in a slight pout, looking put out by my sudden line of questioning. “It would probably be better to ask him. He’d be able to answer questions about himself better than I could.”
“Did you know him before his accident?”
Jungkook’s head whipped up to mine, eyes wide and mouth opening and closing a few times.
“You know about that?”
I shrugged. “I saw the scars, but I didn’t ask him what happened.”
It didn’t escape me how nervous he suddenly became. He refused to look at me now, hand coming up to scratch at his temple while he sighed softly.
“It’s not really my story to tell.” He gave me a tight smile before standing. “You’ll have to ask him. In the meantime, let’s try to get a few of these moves down.”
He held a tattooed hand out for me to take. I was a bit disappointed that my fishing for information didn’t turn up more than what I got, but I understood that Jungkook didn’t feel comfortable telling me about a story that was so personal to Yoongi. Frustrating yes, but I respected it. I took the offered arm, letting Jungkook haul me to my feet.
“My goal today is to get you comfortable with lifts and for me to get a better handle on your body.”
I paused, my eyebrows lifting of their own accord.
“You- what?”
The slow smirk was knowing, amusement dancing in those dark eyes.
“What we’re about to do requires a lot of trust and familiarity with each other for it to work.”
“Right.” I laughed nervously. “Of course that’s what you were getting at.”
I mumbled the last bit under my breath, unzipping my coat at the same time Jungkook tugged at his top. The action smooth as he slid it over his head. His muscles bunched with it and even though it wasn’t the first time I was seeing him shirtless; it might as well have been with the way my stomach knotted and my core clenched. I wondered what it was about these men that had me react so much. Going from someone who never cared to pay attention to the opposite sex to someone who spies on and sleeps with three out of my seven new performance partners, there had to be something wrong with me.
“Although…” Jungkook’s voice ripped me from the staring contest I was in with his exposed skin. The look in his eyes mischievous. “You don’t have to use our routine as your only reason for touching me. I’m not opposed to wandering hands if they’re yours.”
I nearly snorted, using the excuse of setting my coat aside just to hide my blush.
“Just show me what you want to start with.”
Practicing with Jungkook was as easy as it was practicing with Yunho. Albeit a tad bit more distracting. Yunho and I spending so much time together and being in the same act meant I was more familiar with him. With Jungkook, I didn’t know his movements as well and so that meant he took extra liberties to position me how he wanted me. His large palms smoothing over my arms and bared midriff, pushing me away to balance with him a bit better or tugging me tighter into his body.
If I had been worried about how well I would be for lifts, he quickly dashed those concerns with every subsequent pose. He handled my weight effortlessly, which after tossing Jimin around, was probably good practice and got him used to doing it.
“Tighten here.” He pressed my fingers harder into the grip I had around his inked bicep. “This is where your control will lie when I go in for the lift.”
As if to prove his point, his hands found my hips and lifted me. The sudden action and weightlessness catching me off guard and my hold on him slipped. Jungkook was ready though, his arms shifting position quickly to wrap around me instead and jerk me into his chest so I wouldn’t fall.
“You okay?”
I nodded, meeting his eyes only to become nervous all over again when I realized how close we were. My nose was nearly brushing his, large brown eyes filled with concern.
“I should have made sure you were ready first, I’m sorry.”
“No, it’s okay. I know what you mean now about it being my control.” I laughed breathlessly.
“Yeah…” He murmured, huffing out a laugh.
My laughter stalled, taking in the way he suddenly turned serious. The heat of his palms against my back dissipating a bit as his hands curled into fists. He swallowed hard, knuckles on one hand trailing around my hip and down, spreading his fingers over my thigh. The tension between us thickened, the atmosphere taking a turn too similar to last night’s which happened in this same room only a few feet from where we were. I couldn’t escape the excitement I felt being body to body with him like this.
Then, his gaze dropped to my lips, transfixed on them. His fingertips dug into the skin of my thigh hard, the sensation enough to remind me where I was, who I was with, and what we were doing. Jungkook’s brows furrowed, eyes still trained on my lips while he tilted his head towards me. Panicking a bit, I tapped his shoulder a bit harder than what was probably necessary in a bid to let him know I was good.
“We should go again. I’ll be sure to not let go this time.”
He halted. One slow blink and he pulled back looking at me a little confused as if he were processing what I had just said to him. Finally, he slowly released me.
“Oh, yeah. Let’s try... again.”
I nodded politely, looking away from him. It took him a minute to get his bearings, but I just used that time to get ahold of myself. I wrapped a hand around his bicep again, reinforcing my grip so I wouldn’t make the same mistake twice. I held on tight, hoping that my physical strength would correlate to my will around these men. Because I was quickly finding myself on the losing end of two battles in less than two days.
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@strawberry-moonpies @iceprincessviviane @idkjustlovingbts @bookoffracturedescapes @btscentralforever @anjoellamorte @plexcaffeinate @comingupwithacoolnameishard @mellymousie @kiki-zb @felicityroth @rinkud @anaspectoflife @oreoqueen @welcometomyworld13 @reckkklessslove @hopeonthestreet67 @bex-tk1 @shawtylilsalty @jiminbluerose @savagemickey03 @hydrawaterdragon @xzmary @demarie04 @yu-justme @lilacdreams-00 @m4ggl3-g @shadowyjellyfishfest @kawaiikpoplover268 @amethystinesworld @starstruckfangirls @dvalitaes @iwishiwasrichasfuck @thebisexualonesworld @catribohope @luzzthemoon @shyminmin @ddaeing @ldysmfrst @bratty-tingz @friedlollipop @i-like-puppy-mg @channiespup @minjianhyung @skyys-universe @arcsiren
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mynameismrsyoonjin · 9 months
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So work has been stressful, but at least he gave me chopsticks ONCE AGAIN!!!
This is not a coincidence.
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bubmyg · 5 months
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55/638 posting a picture every day until yoongi is home
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likeawildflower · 1 month
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