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fleshadept · 2 months

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looking at (vetted) gofundmes for people trying to escape palestine and i don't know how many of you actually click on the gofundme links you reblog but i would like to point out, for what it's worth, just how amazing it is that so many have raised so much money. it may overall feel like a drop in the ocean but the fact that several gofundmes have raised tens of thousands of dollars is amazing. it is so expensive to leave gaza right now, and people still need money after they escape. but regardless of what propaganda the US, UK, canada, and other western nations are trying to pump out, people across the world are doing what they can to help these people survive. many of them are still very far from their goals (like this one and this one and this one) and some of them are very close to high goals (like this one), and some of them have reached almost double their original goal.

and that's not even addressing direct aid or organizations that take continuous donations for distribution of food, menstrual products, etc. the PCRF has raised $16,000,000 of their target goal of $20,000,000 to fund current aid and long-term relief efforts in gaza. ANERA's febuary 13th update discusses the material ways they helped palestinians today:

(ANERA donate link)

my point is, it often feels like the world is turning a blind eye to palestine. but i would like to point out that there is an important difference between "the world" and "western political leaders and media narratives". a breathtaking amount of real people, the people who make up the world, are trying to help. in the face of israel attempting to commit genocide, the world is saying No. These people deserve to live. and literally sending millions of dollars internationally, through the internet connection that israel has desperately been trying to destroy.

it may not feel like it matters in the grand scheme of things. but to the people who get fresh clothes, or a hot meal, or blankets, or the kids who get new toys, or to the people who are able to bring their families to safety, it matters to them. go make someone's day better. i've linked so many options with ways to do that.

#free palestine #cricket chirps #palestine #gaza #if you feel overwhelmed and don't know where to begin #i recommend deciding on a total amount of money to donate (e.g. $20 $100 etc)#and deciding you will either donate it all in one place or split it between a few places #do what you can!!! it will always be helpful no matter how little #1k #5k #10k #20k

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ddaeng-angmoh · 1 year

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This is going to be a long post where I talk about the struggles of the 20s. The stuggle of mental health and pain. This is brought on by recent events that occured and a beloved celebrity.

I'm not going to explicitly tag this for kpop or astro because I don't want to join that flood. I don't want anyone that is struggling to come to tumblr to relax, and be overwhelmed with the reminders of what happened. I fell apart after Jonghyun died. Irregardless of him being a celeb, I remember how it felt.

TW: talk of death , mental health

If you have been scrolling on tumblr or facebook and heard a lot of this. If this is making you feel uncomfortable and pushing you in any way to an unsafe place, please take the time to find a safe person to reach out to. Remember there are crisis hotlines for this as well. The internet will be flooded for awhile, so please take a step back from the internet if you must.

It took me a long time to come to terms with Jonghyun passing, I couldn't listen to SHINee for years without crying. I still can't sometimes. At the time, my friend told me of how there was some "death club" for celebs that passed at ages 25/26. I thought it was the oddest thing to make a club for. She hinted to it having some supernatural connection and I almost believed it.

I was 21 then, and the next year started the hardest 5 years of my life. I went from passing all my college courses to failing 6 in the span of 3 years. I quit my job, got a new one, then went on a mental health break. This led to me getting fired, and going on disability.

Last year I took a psychology course and as I realised I had entered the age of this nysterious "club" I looked back at my life broken hearted. It had been 4 years since Jonghyun passed, I was finally 25. I had been diagnosed with 2 mood disorders, adhd, 2 sleeping disorders, and been told the only cure for my mood disorders is to grow. I was incredulous when my psychologist said that to me. I got angry with him and with all my hopes and dreams crashing around me I could understand why this was such a dangerous age.

It wasn't until my teacher broached brain growth that something clicked. She told us that our brain didn't actually finish growing till around 26. That not only was the 20's the highest risk age for humans, but it was finally when we start being able to conceptualise the future. We could always dream of it before. We could understand the consequences. But we couldn't fully grasp the magnitude of the future.

We live in a society where we are expected to know what we want at 18. How unrealistic, when we only truly understand life at ~26.

The death club isn't supernatural. It's very psychological. I can't imagine the heartbreak these celebrities felt as the future came crashing in on them. That all their mental health struggles and life closed in on them and they wondered "is this it? Forever?" Because suddenly, forever makes more sense. More than it had.

I think we need to do better. Not just as a society, but as friends and family. The 20s are the age where suddenly we're freefalling, and as we plummet, we realise we can see the ground for the first time. We can finally see the end, and what it means. We imagine how it will feel to crash and break apart. All we feel is alone, and terrified, and wondering what it will sound like when we splatter to our end. How horrifying.

It's a good thing at least, that we can live our life as slowly as we like. If we take care of ourselves, we can slow our descent to the end. Outside of unexpected events of course.

I want to say for everyone younger than me, who hasn't hit this stage yet- you must already feel so overwhelmed. That's okay, because you ought to be. You're finding who you are. Take your time, and don't worry about the future. Don't put this pressure on yourself too early. And remember when you do start to see the ground, that it doesn't mean it's the end. It's still so far away. You'll be okay.

For the people in my age range who have seen it. Well, I'm in stage one of this myself. I'm terrified too. But everyday I'm seeing that it's okay. That all the things I scoffed at are true. I hated people saying to just wait it out. I never understood why they said "it's just a phase" (IT ISN'T TYVM) but now I get why they said that. They might not have experienced the pain I have mentally, but they experienced the fear of falling. The terror of seeing the end, and the peace that comes with knowing that they have a long way yet to go.

We have a long way yet to go.

Please remember that you're not alone in this. That you're not just going through a phase, and your struggles matter. The journey of the 20's is hard enough without mental fatigue and illness. But you can make it. Please don't be hard on yourself, and reach out to others. Take your time, because you need it. Because even after all this happens and your brain is done growing, and you're left with all this realisation- you still need to take the time to come to peace with it. If your mind is a pond and your growth is pebbles dropping in... then in this, you still have to wait for those pebbles to stop falling and their ripples to stop before it comes to peace again.

A bad metaphor, but the only one I can think of.

Waiting it out doesn't have to be torture. I think that's why it's so important we hold tight to the joys in our life. Why we have to cling onto what matters, and focus on the good relationships we have. Even if we have to go out of our comfort zone to make them. Because even reaching out for ourselves, we are still grasping onto someone else who needs help. We all need to support each other in this, I believe that completely. We're all lonely and aching. So why can't we find solace in each other?

I don't want to get into everything that happened today. My heart aches, and I'm not ready to confront it. The fear is coming back. I ache so much. Not just for him, his friends, or his family. But for everyone feeling the same. In this world of emotional fatigue, where we are bombarded with empathy so much that we grow numb- things like this can feel like it's really breaking me.

I don't know the people I pass on the street, or the people I reblog from or read the stories of. Yet my heart still feels for all of you. Because I know how I feel, and I know I'm not alone in it.

Growth is cruel, it hurts. It's life chiselling away at us as if we were unfeeling stone. Hacking out our form with furious cracks. But we're flesh and blood. We feel it all. And I truly hate how this pain is deemed as "necessary" it shouldn't have to be.

So please, please. Hold strong. Please hold onto the people around you. Because it will hurt. It will keep hurting. But It's not forever. We're almost done growing. There will be an end to this pain. This isn't forever. You shouldn't be burdened with getting over it. Don't hold yourself to that. Because you'll only get it over it when you find your own peace. That can't be rushed by expectations and guilt.

Sometimes I read stories and see the Romantic Leads interact. I watch in pain as one of them admits that they can't do it any anymore. They can't live their life alone and in pain. Then I watch in jealousy as their partner holds them and tells them they don't have to. They can let go of all their burdens and pains, because their partner is there for them. They will help them carry it all. And isn't that beautiful?

I feel awful guilt sometimes as a Christian. I've heard some awful things from corrupt churches, and I've had friends saying, "God will heal you if you ask". I wonder sometimes if they realise that I hear, "why are you still sick? What are you doing wrong that God isn't healing you? What's wrong with you."

I wish more churches confronted this. More of them said that it's okay to hurt and struggle. It's okay to not be healed. Because sometimes we're going to be sick. Sometimes we're hurt, and sometimes we don't see the real issue. I have repeated this many times in this post, but I want to reiterate it differently. Especially with this in mind.

We need to stop praying for healing, and looking for miracles to get better. We need to stop thinking that normalcy is the focus.

If you pray for anything, pray for peace. Pray for love. Pray for the confidence to seek someone out and ask for help. Pray for someone to hold you, so you can release your burdens. Pray for them to pick those burdens up with you, because you don't have to do it alone.

That's what will bring you true healing. Of this I know, of this I am certain. Because you don't need a romantic partner to find this. Because you don't need healing to achieve this. You really can get this all right now. But it is something that requires you to step out of your comfort zone and ask.

You don't have to ask God. I know a lot of people here have been hurt by religion and churches. This isn't a post to convert people like google docs and push my beliefs.

But you should ask someone.

Because your soul needs release. No matter who you are, and what you're going through, you need moments where you can trust in others to hold you. People can be trusted. I have no doubt you've been hurt in the past, because I have too. It was probably by someone you trusted most. That happened to me too. But that's not everyone.

If you are having a hard time. I ache for you. I understand. I feel the pain too. If you'll allow me, I'll pray for you. I can't handle life stories right now, or discussions. My own health isn't there. But if anyone wants to know that someone is thinking for them, and their health. Shoot me a dm, ask me to add you to my prayer list. I don't need to know why, so don't feel like you have to say anything specific either.

I'll pray for you day in and day out. Even if it's just one person, you can add me to the list of people that care about you. Even if we never talk again, and you don't want to talk again, I'll happily pray for you. Because I ache for you all, I truly do. I feel like I will fall apart when I hear of all the suffering around me. I so selfishly want to fix it all, and I wish I could. I want to be able to hold everyone who is hurting and tell them that I can carry their burdens for them. I just wish I could take all the pain away.

I know I can't. But I want to. So even if it's just the idea of it. I want to hug your hurts away, soothe your pain, and brush your tears away. Even for a moment. This will end. There will be peace.

With that, I want to say that I hope everyone stays strong. This age range is turbulent for a reason. Remember to hold on.

If you are experiencing any thoughts of harm or other extreme ideations, then please call one of the toll free help lines. They're there for a reason. These people are there to help. They're there for anyone to use. They're perfect if you need to talk instantly. I don't know how to write this without a total tonal shift, but it's important to bring this in.

https://findahelpline.com/i/iasp

This is a link to an engine to find help lines. Please use it if you are having intense feelings or on the precipace of a breakdown. I can't say where that line is for you, but I pray for you to have the wisdom to know if you should call.

You don't need death to find peace. I promise you of that.

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