#you and a friend ever laugh at a joke

[gayofthefae]

Mike flirting with El: Pizza box goggles! Vomit green socks! :D (this is cute don't get me wrong)

Mike flirting with Will: You're the love of my life

#byler dynamic #stranger things #it's so funny because what #im so silly laugh at my jokes #adorable great why i love platonic elmike #vs #you're the best thing to ever happen to me would you kiss me if i asked i mean uh as friends #*best friends tho #byler #byler correct quotes

[dorianpavus]

people will be like thinking about shadowheart with a man makes me violently ill. i hate going into the astarion tag because there are people who don't seem gay enough for me in there romancing him and enjoying his character and i have to see their headcanons. the characters are all actually playersexual because they can always be romanced by the main character (conveniently making it impossible for me to have to regard any bisexual love interest as such), so it's okay to say they're whatever sexuality i want and it's actually fucked up of YOU to deny me this (so i will ignore blatant mechanical and narrative evidence of their bisexuality, while also demanding that you care about my desire for representation while i deny you yours).

and if you ever call them on it, they play the victim. whether the biphobia was obvious or subtle, they will always either pretend like they're being attacked, or play the "oh no the [insert insult here] people have found this" card, because... what. they think biphobia is just when people say "i hate bisexual people," and not the myriad ways in which people scorn, condemn, deny, and express their discomfort at bisexuality?

#i laugh with my friends at headcanons too but i don't have to be like 'well unfortunately cause they are bi :(' about it lol #'if they were gay people would definitely always have headcanons i agree with' said no one ever #let people have stupid ooc headcanons in peace lmao bitch to your friends on discord like a normal person #and stop acting like the biphobic comment you made exists in a vacuum #and is not a drop in the fucking ocean for bi people wading through fandom all the time. we're tired cause we hear it 24/7! #personal spam #biphobia / #people making jokes is not that serious. i get it lol. but if the root of your joke is biphobia... make a better joke lol?

[s0fter-sin]

reverse verse where soap takes on the mask instead of ghost. he wears his red skull mask so you can see the lower half of his face and his chin scar extends along his whole jaw to look like exposed teeth

#his chin scar is so gnarly and i think we gloss over it just a little too much #i like reverse verses but i think they can change just a little too much #like i wouldnt have soap act like ghost #if anything id have him act the same just more unhinged #hes still extroverted and will talk to people but people find him very unnerving #theres just this edge to everything he says and does that lets you know just bc hes being civil doesnt mean he wont rip your throat out #with his teeth #and hes just brutal in the field #preferring hand to hand wanting to get up close and bloody #very berkeresque where other soldiers learn not to go near him or interrupt him bc he cant always differentiate friend from foe #except for one deadpan brit who had a soldier’s eyes long before he ever joined the military #dour and depressing until he cracks a messed up joke and everyones shovked when they hear a scottish voice laugh #just soap who goes through roba and simon whos still ghost after living through his fathers abuse #just slightly less self isolating since he still has his family #coming out of my cage and ive been doing just fine.txt #soapghost #ghostsoap #ghoap #john soap mactavish #soap cod #simon ghost riley #ghost cod #we’re a team. ghost team

[kavehater]

I support girls but NAH THIS IS REACHING “if you look carefully LIKE REALLY CAREFULLY 🤓☝️”

#the same people who would shriek like the witch of the north melting her skin off if I tell you haikaveh / kavetham isn’t implied because #if you actually look into our culture they’re being normal and not everyone having rivalry and caring about each other means they’re 💅 #in fact Arabs are some of the worlds most hospitable people alhaitham letting kaveh live with him #is the most Arab thing I’ve ever seen #heck if kaveh was a stranger it wouldn’t be unusual for an Arab to let him in their house ☠️ #goddamn #“if you look in the internet you can see how they’re implied!🤓☝️” #maybe if you had any respect for my culture or any desire to be educated when I’m handing this to you for free you wouldn’t be your mistake #your mums greatest mistake 🤗🤗🤗* #dora daily #if only ppl dedicated this level of detail to actual culture compared to pulling out their microscope at level 100x magnification lens to #observe robins spots under her eyes the world would be a better place 🙀 #let me tell you btw this whole I hate you meh meh meh ( I’m so in love with you ) trope is the most whitest booktok millennial plant growing #basement dweller nonesense I have ever heard in my life don’t do that to my pookies ☹️ #( the pookies in fact were 11 and 9 years older than her respectively ) #guys my dad is the straightest man alive ( oh the trauma lowkey wish he wasn’t ) and he legit was putting his hand on his best friends lap #LMAOOO even I as a very logical person was like bro this is so zesty rn I am SO uncomfortable #anyways live laugh love boothill x Baizhu they’re the most canon things I’ve ever seen in my life #<- this is a joke btw it’s an ironic ship I saw on tiktok ☠️

[fleshdyke]

#csa warning for tags #ughhh ik i was just talking abt this but man. Man. constantly bullied as a child + raped as a child is a brutal combo huh #completely irreversibly fucked up sense of intimacy. i dont want to have sex with anyone i dont care what ppl think of me looks wise but i #also care more than anything and want people to want me so bad #like when ur only experience with anyone at all finding you desirable is being raped at 6ish. fucks u up man #was constantly told by everyone i knew that i was undesirable from day fucking one. i was always the one ppl would dare their friends to #'ask out' bc everyone thought i was that bad. i never had those rumours of 'some boy likes you' without people laughing in the background #all of my friends. even the ones that were also weird kids and bullied etc etc always have stories of other kids having crushes on them or #whatever. and i just never had that. it feels like i missed out on something important #i want to be pursued by a guy i hate i want them to not leave me alone. i want to feel like im in danger. and i know how fucking disgusting #that is but i cant help it. like i feel like thats the only way im going to feel normal and wanted like theres not something inherently #wrong with me. and i know how dangerous that is but its not like it matters anyways bc still no one likes me at all. #and i know how stupid of a thing it is to obsess over like what am i 9 years old? but i just cant get it out of my head #like idk i feel like the only way im going to actually feel desirable at all is if someone tries to rape me again. or if i feel like i have #to worry about someone raping me again. i know i wouldnt feel that way if someone was like. nice about it. #bc if someone genuinely liked me and was a decent human being about it i wouldnt be able to see it as anything other than faking it for pit #i wouldnt be able to believe it. even if i wasnt waiting for them to drop the joke and start laughing at me i would always think it was jus #an act bc they feel bad for me. the only way i could ever think it's genuine and that i'm desirable at all is if someone sexually #harassed me. like idk how to explain it but thats the only way i could feel desirable at all #bc it's the only way i've ever been desirable. when i was a kid. #and it terrifies me so bad bc i know how fucking disgusting that is and how self destructive it is #but i still feel like i dont even have to really worry about being assaulted. bc i still believe im completely undesirable at my core. #i dont believe i could be desired so i dont believe i have to worry about being raped. bc no one would want to anyways #rambles #vent

[bamboozled-distress]

starting mpreg discourse in the comment section of a trolls band together fanart post on Instagram is probably my favourite thing I’ve ever done in my life

#this person thinks im such a freak this is so funny omg #i hope they block me after and im put on their dni list #SHIT IS FUNNY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! #No bc the persons a friend of mine and we have a weird joke about mpreg so i commented that he should draw jd mpregged and the person asked #what mpreg is so i explained it and THEY ACTUALLY SAID ‘what the ACTUAL F—- DUDE!!!’ #I CANT STOP LAUGHING #and i replied but they haven’t said anything yet and me and my friend think this is the funniest thing to have ever happened EVER #sometimes i forget how chronically online i am bc omg im such a freak this person haaaaaates me omg #and the kick is #it’s that the discourse is with my main account #so this may come up Harry styles on snl style in a job interview #if this happens I’ll tell you guys all about it i swear bc this shit is funny omg #txt #txt post #laz.exe #dare i tag this trolls

[blocksruinedme]

Jimmy may have a bad memory but he is a CLEVER and hardworking boy

who pays very close attention to how other youtubers do things, and takes notes, and works so hard, and now he has 810k subscribers because he knows how to do it.

(well, sometimes clever and always hardworking)

context:

If anyone wants my spreadsheet just lmk. my data mostly came from the youtube wiki and MaxData's visualization of new life smp members' subs numbers. oh, i'll include that!

Jimmy was at 609k when new life started in may 27. he made a (lovely!) pink house.

Twenty one days later he's gained 201,000 subs.

Between cpk and pix now probably, having jumped ahead of oli & pearl.

Y'all when people talk about jimmy being dumb, watch and think how much is an atrocious memory, and how long is not being quick to understand things. If he settles in and works at it! If he's in a group event in mcc and not individual! If he has a strong team captain in mcc who he can listen to! (he's said the last one is how he succeeds).

Jimmy can fucking do it, just in his own way - and he doesn't care to put a lot of effort into learning some things that some viewers want. As I barely care about minecraft, I do have an interesting perspective here! <3

Jimmy can't just get by on his minecraft skills plus his winning smile, comedic timing, charisma, and skill at social rapport and interpersonal... okay I've made it sound like a lot but he has some brains. Those brains just don't know the recipe for... things I also don't care about.

Jimmy Solidarity. You appreciate him. Good.

#late night jimmy rantings #came back to edit tags #cause it's easy confidence #and his humility #how much he appreciates every one who has ever helped him and he will say over and over how lucky he was with who he found #his lack of real ego #his willingness to fail! in public! and just laugh it off and be mildly self deprecating #unlike the 'are you okay i promise you're smart please it's okay' self deprecating i've been seeing in one CC i finally started watching #he works with other people easily #and skizz says he makes space for other people right? #he works hard cause he can't just rely on being an amazing builder or redstoner or whatever who people will just come back for #he's a professional silly boy who loves to play the fool #please people please understand he is the one running these jokes #go listen to his *acting* as he's saying don't call me ken while he's making these shorts #i think one problems with 'internet people flip out about jimmy's relationships with his close friends based on what they see online' #is that many people don't understand how well he can act? #jimmy can make untrue things look genuine through acting #he said once - when asked - that if he couldn't do this he'd love to be a voice actor #solidaritygaming #solidarity gaming #new life smp #jimmy solidarity #nlsmp

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

hmmmm having angsty Lights Out thoughts

#i know when i post about it i usually make it Lighthearted if not outright Memey #but oh boy. this au is dark. like - like beyond the literal meaning #imagine being abandoned by your creators without so much as a warning #one day the lights go out and thats it. no answers. no comfort. no friendly faces or explanation #show's over. curtains closed. doors locked. they're all gone #it's just waiting in a pitch black room because surely the lights will turn back on. the next day will come #but it Won't. the next day won't come. it will never come. your friends won't open their eyes again. it's just you now. #you've always had company - friends and the comfort of feeling Watched Over by something beyond your understanding #but you blinked and its gone now. it's just you. no matter what you try or what you do - its. just. you. #days and weeks and moths and years of silence and a complete lack of color #burning matches down to your fingertips just to remember what shade of yellow your fleece is #its still wrong. firelight stains the color. #slowly forgetting the sound of your friends voices and what their smiles looked like and what the memories you made with them were #what was your best friends favorite joke? what was his hotdog order? how did he laugh? he used to pose for your paintings didnt he? #you can't be sure anymore. maybe the neighborhood was always dead. maybe You're dead. how can you tell? #you don't breathe. they don't either. they used to didn't they? you never did but they used to. ...right? you hope their dreams are sweet #one of your friends starts sleepwalking. you're so happy. she hurts you. you know she didnt mean it. you're scared anyway. #you can only see with one eye now. it feels... Wrong. all of your chalk drawings start coming out wrong too. #you keep missing when you reach for things. just one more thing to adjust to #were the lights ever on? or was that your own dream? you thought that was something you couldnt do. #you also thought the lights always come back. you were wrong about that. what else are you wrong about? #wh lights out au #wailing sobbing screaming etc over lights out wally... this poor little 12 apples dude... #aimlessly wandering through the town... walking through the buildings.... #eventually getting so fucking lonely and desperate that you keep your best friend's severed arm for comfort #all you can do is protect your eternally sleeping friends from the Things crawling out of the shadows #mark another tally on the ground for each full circle the town clock's short hand completes #and wait for the day you fall asleep and join your friends dreams. it will happen someday. #you can feel it in the pitch seeping from your eyes and mouth. more with each decade that passes #just a little while longer. some more waiting. just you. in the dark.

[angelboybreakdowns]

im so tired

#its exhausting living here #im the bad guy in every situation #every time i dont accomodate her stupid bullshit whims im evil and creating conflict #dean you arent allowed to get lunch for yourself bc she wants to do a baking project &youre too Disgusting to be in the same room as her fo #*food #dean you arent allowed to listen to music out loud in your room but she can play her music in the living room while you have a migraine #dean you have to ask her what food she wants from town bc she doesnt feel like texting mom herself #dean you have to stop laughing because she thinks your laugh is annoying #dean you arent allowed to eat the bread that was bought for you because she decided she wanted it #dean you arent allowed to wear the one piece of mens clothing youve ever gotten to buy apart from plaid shirts bc she thinks youre too fat #dean you arent allowed to correct her when she says things about you that are objectively untrue #dean she wants to hang out in the living room go back to your room so she doesnt have to be around you #dean she wants a book for english class you have to give her one of yours #dean you arent allowed to be angry at her for ripping the cover off one of your favorite books & nrver apologizing that was years ago #dean you arent allowed to make plans with your friends this weekend bc she might want to hang out w her friends & wants to keep moms schedul #schedule open to drive her #dean you arent allowed to eat until she serves herself #dean if youre making food & she refuses to eat bc you were in the kitchen thats your fault #dean how dare you say her hair looks like sam winchesters #dean you cant be angry when she calls you fat & ugly & disgusting & tells you to kill yourself you shouldnt let it get to you #sui mention #dean you cant get new pants bc she wants to buy this dress that she’ll never wear #dean its not a big deal when she misgenders you she waa just joking #dean shes not ableist bc youre the only autistic person she thinks is faking it for attention #im just so goddamn tired

[spacewr3ck51]

you know what the sun looks like? like he slit his wrists in a bathtub and the blood is all over the water. and the moon is just watching. shes watching him die. she must have driven him to it.

#may or may not have quoted this out loud to one of my friends today followed by me laughing my ass off #I think they think I'm going mad #personally I think everyone is mad #everyone is insane #I've never met a sane person in my life #maybe people just aren't real #maybe that's why I am incapable of feeling empathy #or maybe I'm just a dick #who knows! #that's what's so fun isn't it? #no one ever knows if you're joking or not #and you can see it on their face too #its so funny #rowan does things #tithe #holly black #kaye fierch

[singsweetmelodies]

With all respect and love, I absolutely love your fake dating au. If I had to choose an update between that and the kissing fic (or anything else really) I would always choose the fake dating au. There is so much potential! Please tell me you plan on updating and finishing it? If you’re not, can you at least share with us the fic plans so we can have some closure about it? Would you consider letting another author adopt the gif to finish it if you won’t? It really is a Piarles must-read. I hope I can learn the ending!

but see, anon, you DON'T get to choose. only i get to choose, and i have chosen to update the 2023 kisses fic. 😌

... you know, i debated for a long time if i would even bother answering this ask, or just delete it right off the bat. because in my opinion, this is an incredibly rude, insensitive and entitled thing to send to any writer. it was ONLY A FEW DAYS AGO that i talked publicly about how important it is to remember that writers are humans, too, not machines, and to please treat us like humans. and yet here i am again.

i'm going to answer this one more time, and i'm going to answer it in detail, and then in future if i get any asks in this vein, they WILL be deleted without any interaction. you guys are making me consider turning off anon asks entirely, which i really don't want to do, because the other half of my anons are SO very lovely!! but i also have had enough of waking up to rudeness and blatant entitlement in my inbox.

so. why exactly is it that i think this ask is so entitled and insensitive? didn't the anon say "with all respect and love" and compliment my fic at the start of it?

yes. yes, they did. but the thing is, saying "with all respect and love" doesn't mean you can then proceed to be rude to me and it's all fine. that's like me saying "with all due love and respect, i have decided to delete the fic entirely." the fact that i prefaced it with "love and respect" does not make what i did later alright. (although in this case, it WOULD be alright regardless of whether i prefaced it with "love and respect" or not, since it's MY fic and i can do what i want with it.) this anon, on the other hand - this anon has no right to demand anything of me. i am a fanfic author and i do this for free. it is not my job. i have no obligation to do any of this. which means that nobody out there, really, has any right to demand performance from me. (lmao can you tell i have been deep in the law textbooks lately) but the point stands! i don't owe you anything at all.

yes, you can ask me nicely, and i can choose to reply if i want. (hell, if you ask me nicely, i'd probably LOVE to write things for you!!) but you don't get to DEMAND updates from me. and "tell me you plan on updating and finishing // can you at least share with us the fic plans so we can have some closure" is not asking nicely. that's demanding. YES, anon gave me a compliment and they said "with all respect and love." but they're STILL demanding performance from me, and that's not okay. the anon is making it sound like i owe you "closure" (even though this is a work of fiction, not a break-up you're going through, and i think the word "closure" is a VERY dramatic one to use.)

once again (because apparently i LITERALLY CANNOT emphasise it enough) i do not actually owe you anything. i, katie singsweetmelodies, owe you NOTHING. i do not owe you updates or fic plans or whatever the case may be. i might choose to share them with you, yes, but on my own schedule, since they're MY creations made in MY free time.

right. got that off my chest. gosh. NOW! one other thing that i want to make very, very clear before i end this off - i do not give my permission for anyone to "adopt" my work or to write a continuation of it. i am the one who's put in the hours to write all the setup we have so far. i'm not letting someone else benefit off that. if you so badly want a fake dating fic with the conclusion already ready, then you are more than welcome to put in the hours and create it from scratch yourself. but for someone else to take over my work and take it in a direction i probably won't even like? no. absolutely not. permission emphatically NOT granted.

anon: i'm sorry if you feel that this reply is unnecessarily harsh. but this could not have come at a worse time for me, because i really did talk about the importance of treating writers like people just here, just a day or two ago. needless to say, it really struck a very bad chord with me to get an ask like this right after i took pains to explain, publicly, why these kinds of asks are not okay.

i really am happy that you are enjoying the fake dating fic. and i do appreciate that you tried to tell me that, even though the way you did it was completely out of line. i hope that this answer won't... preclude you from enjoying the fic in the future? or something? i'm not sure, to be honest. the whole thing has left rather a bad taste in my mouth.

but one thing i will say to anyone reading this: i know it's been a long time, but just bear with me. i mean it when i say that there will be an update eventually. no, i can't tell you when. i'm not even going to try and give you a schedule, because like i said, i'm a human and not a writing machine. but the fake dating fic is very close to my heart, and i want to see it finished someday just as much as you do. ❤️

(P.S. - if anyone was very worried reading the first part of this answer: NO, i am not actually going to delete the fake dating fic!!! i was just using a very dramatic example, lmao. the fake dating fic is one of my favourite things i've written, and despite the slight... mess... about its updates recently, that's not going to change anytime soon. 💙)

#asks & answers #anon #WARNING: long rant beneath the cut #the bit above the cut is just me being petty because this ask REALLY rubbed me the wrong way #'if i had to choose' WELL GEE ANON HERE'S A NEWSFLASH. you DON'T get to choose actually #one of my friends said 'you should update like a hundred things before the fake dating au now. just to show them' #and that did make me laugh #will i do it? probably not #not even i am THAT petty #(then again.....................) #nah but all jokes aside: this really is NOT on; guys. it's not on. #i don't want to turn off anon asks; but if i get another one like this? i really might #much as i enjoy having the occasional rage-rant on tumblr... i'd really rather have a good time; you know? #so please PLEASE let's keep it nice and respectful of the fact that i'm a human and not a writing machine #thank you EVER SO #katie rants

[hermithomebase]

.

#entry.txt #like i love this fandom dearly and i love our boys it’s just so miserable here all the damn time like every single time they stream i just #know SOMETHING is going to get blown out of proportion or at this point people are gonna straight up Lie to cause problems and it’s just #really starting to bother me and ruin the entire experience of watching any content. and like i suppose that’s their entire goal but holy #fuck there is just no fucking fun allowed anymore #jokes between friends? DISRESPECTFUL AND HORRIBLR AND YOU NEED TO DIE YOU SHOULD NEVER LAUGH OR SMILE EVER EVERYTHING MUST ALWAYS BE SERIOUS #AND NEVER EVER LIGHTHEARTED AND FUN. #like idk i guess i can get over it bc i know dteam are strong enough to not let it ruin their fun esp george yknow he doesn’t gaf abt this #dumb shit but it just makes Me personally upset to see people become such blackholes all the damn time

[bumblingbabooshka]

Neelix manages to make Tuvok laugh while he’s lost his Vulcan discipline and it turns out that Vulcan laughter isn’t like human laughter at all and is more akin to a shrill and piercing shriek that lilts and twists in the air, perhaps meant to carry over great distances. Neelix is so so scared but he counts it as a win.

#Neelix: [funny joke] #Tuvok: -chuckles.....laughs...the laughter rises into a shriek- AAAAAAAAAAAKEKEKEKEKEKEKKEKEKEKEKEKEKKEKEKEKEKEAAAAAAAAAAA #Neelix: [so scared] i m...imsorry??? #Tuvok: I enjoyed it :) #Imagining you go to Vulcan and hear the most spine chilling shriek you've ever heard..a cacophony that haunts you and makes you cover your #ears. You're like 'what IS that?' and your Vulcan friend is like 'hm? Small children laughing.' #Neelix: .............a win is a win v_v I don't care what y'all say a WIN is a w-

[lightbulb-warning]

waking up at 4am because team meeting is in bumfuck NOWHERE

#i love my friends and cherish getting to see them (getting motion sick by the most convoluted train route you've ever seen in your life) #context: in the social circle im one of the bitches that lives 2 hours away on default settings #but today it's even “bumfuck nowhere” for them!! which means im going into oblivion. fun! #mind you this is europe #in europe you'll HAVE trains that go in the middle of nowhere but sometimes the train station are like. two bricks and an old sign. #great for pictures! not great for feelings of safety! #*shrug* it'll be fine! if it isn't then *shrug 2* worst case scenario i die! (me dying is not a likely scenario and ill be okay) #don't mind me im just giving myself a peptalk in the tags #remember what you're doing this for maiora!!!!!!!! PEOPLE LAUGHING AT YOUR JOKES IN PERSON!!!!!! /hj #okay but genuine real talk ill be fine there's nothing that can go wrong that i can't handle #shut up maiora

[fleshdyke]

hchkvgjvfj

#csa warning for tags #goddd being raped at 6ish and brutally bullied is a hell of a combination #i was the one kid in not only my grade but multiple above and below me as well that the boys would dare each other to 'ask out' #absolutely CONSTANTLY. like jesus #by the time i was raped i'd already been bullied pretty badly for a while. including being constantly told i was ugly by all the boys #which is like. a huge reason i was raped in the first place. i still dont know who it was but i can only assume he took advantage of me #being constantly bullied to abuse me. as child rapists so often do #but like i was always the one that would be 'asked out' as a dare bc why would any of them want to talk to me #it was so inconceivable that any of them could want to be near me let alone 'go out' with me. they didn't even bother trying to hide the way #they laughed. like they didn't try to hide it bc they knew no one would do anything #and this happening to me fucking constantly for years on end throughout my ENTIRE childhood. that fucks with you man #like i dont think its even possible for anyone to like being around me at all. let alone find me attractive #there's still never been a single person who's had a crush on me or whatever #like all my friends have stories about annoying boys having crushes on them when they were younger. and what does it say about me that im #the complete opposite. and like it's so stupid because who fucking cares what 10 year old boys thought in 2016 but it really really fucks #you up bad man. like if anyone ever does come to be attracted to me for whatever reason i dont think im ever going to be able to believe it #i'm always going to be waiting for the joke to end and them to start laughing. i'll always be waiting for the other shoe to drop #and the worst part of it all is that i fucking want to be raped again #being raped as a little kid is the only time anyone has ever wanted me. it's the only time i've ever been desired. and i dont even like sex #but it's just the only time anyone has ever loved me in a non parental way #like i have one crush story to all my friends'. and it was a grown man that raped me when i was little #and i want to be raped again so fucking badly not because i would enjoy it but because it would prove that someone actually fucking wants me #i want to be sexually harassed and not in the way i usually am. i want to be catcalled and have to be scared walking around alone #i want men to grope me and say disgusting things and rape me because then i would finally be fucking wanted #it would prove that i'm actually likeable in some capacity. that i still am #im so scared that now that im grown im just a lost cause. because i was only desirable when i was little. now im just nothing #and i know i shouldnt even care but its so fucking hard to shake. i just want someone to love me #and i love my mom so much but i want them to love me because they want to and not because they have to #rambles #vent

[yourcalamity]

i just carry a lot of bitterness right now but no matter how much things hurt i have to keep going and if i dont communicate and talk about my feelings then its my fault but every time i have tried to have a serious conversation it cant just go bad it has to go so badly that i want to open up even less, and if i do that whose fault is it? mine. salt and bleach and draino and fire ants and franks red hot directly into the wound on a regular basis

#like at what point can i talk about how severely i am struggling without someone laughing in my face #at what point can i talk to my friends about my struggles and actually be heard and not spoken over #at what point am i more to my mother than a therapist #life is still good and getting better and it will get better and i will do something soon to change these issues #i just feel like ive made the same cry for help a million times and everyone just wantss the problem to go away #without having to actually do anything about it #at what point can you tell me the problem is me not letting my guard down without tearing me apart or treating me like a joke #or treating me like all my problems are not serious or treating me like an idiot for not doing what you think i should be doing #which is literally what i am doing as you tell me #im pulling random examples from memories from the past few years #but it just sucks genuinely. its like openibg your door to a beautiful spring morning and then a brick hits you in the face instantly #and then the person who threw the brick is angry that the brick hurt you #then if you ever mention the brick again they get even more pissed. WELL STOP THROWINGBIT THEN…