#you and your big sexy galaxy brain

[grigori77]

Critical Role, Campaign 3 Episode 90

Nord VPN again ... so what this -- ah, I see ... Sam, you chaos gremlin ... yes, that's right, Samuel, you can't mess with these people ... Marisha: "I don't trust you, you piece of shit." Nor should you ...

Laura pronouncing EU as "ew" and Liam not quite getting it ... XD

Oh, so does this mean they really ARE splitting up for this part? Oof ... you know you're not supposed to DO THAT ...

Roll for which group goes first? Hmmm ... the bombers first, then ... okay ...

Ira you creepy fucker I swear I don't trust you as far as I can throw you ...

So ... it's a familiar familiarity then, Matthew?

Ashley sleight of hand Nat20? Awww ... and apparently she may just have given that old beggar a small fortune round here ...

The objective of the plan ... hmmm ... meanwhile it seems FCG may be grating on Ira's nerve some ...

Barking? Really? Probably not good ...

Perception check time ... hmmmm ... fancy insect skull ... viculch? Okay ... these things are MASSIVE ...

Oh crap ... Gloamglut? The fay dragon? Not a good sign ... Fearne's dad's close, clearly ...

Over to the other group? Okay ...

Sprawlgrotto? That is impossibly difficult to say, clearly ...

What to roll? Crap ...

Invisible shenanigans ... yup ...

Wow ... Marisha rolled SO SHIT for having advantage ... thank the gods for those Nat20s ...

Lots of myceit ... harvesting fungi? That's not, like, weirdly existentially odd for them?

Seriously, was Matt reading too much Dungeon Meshi when he came up with this stretch of the campaign?

Scry ball is pretty close now ... but still not EXACTLY where they're going ... O.O

Music? Interesting ... whoa! Street busking! Cool! A didgeridoo? Awesome ...

No way to know if they're under any casual observation ...

Awwwwww ... the twinsies continue to be so cute together ... :3

Con save for Chetney's flatulence ...

Okay, so ... are they close to their destination or what?

That is one HEAVILY GUARDED entrance ... any other ways in?

Awwww ... flirty witch girlfriend shenanigans ... I love them ... :3

Wow ... Matt's sexy pre campaign days on a t-shirt ... well done, Sam ... LOL

Already halfway though their invisibility? Not good ...

Whoa ... are they in the mad god's brain? Is this like Knowhere? Laura, your brain worries me sometimes ...

Ashley, what are you doing with that hood? :3

"Passing miners"? Congrats on dodging the Galaxy Quest ref there guys ...

So they're on high alert, then ... hmmmm ...

Uh-oh ... incoming ... and they're zeroing in on Ira ... great ...

"A dark armoured figure"? Crap ... shit! Zathuda? Balls ...

Weird ass Predator looking Hulk mofo ...

Sunder Lord? Interesting ... wait, so this might be the Sunder KING? Okay ... so this is Cruth, then ... the Reiloran big bad himself ...

Bollocks ... have then been sniffed out?

Everybody knows you don't give dogs chocolate! Even freaky alien ones!

Speak With Animals? Hmmmm ...

Oh for the love of the gods Sam, not again ... ewww ... and it's WET?!!! Come on Riegel!

Fearne is clearly DETERMINED for this thing to just be a GOOD BOY isn't she? I really DON'T think this is gonna work, Fearne!

I don't think that griffon meat's gonna work out, Ashton. It's WAY too old ...

Speak With Animals AND Command on the thing? Good luck with that, Letters ... or Fast Friends? Hmmm ... wow ... hope this is a good choice ... yeah, he Commands it to "GIT!!!!" And it works? Blimey ...

Wow, that was bloody close ... phew ...

HOLY FUCK did Ira just pull a Jedi mind trick on that guy? O.O

Flip flop, back and forth ... here we go ...

Cupped? Hmmm ... is that an "underboob" joke, perchance?

Yeah, I mean ... SURELY the rope itself would be invisible too since it was covered by the same spell ...

Spiderclimb PLUS Invisibility ... okay, here we go, then ...

Not NOTHER shite roll? Two 2s? Balls ... Marisha, WHY?!!!

Wow ... this has gone all kinds of Abbott & Costello ... oh thank the gods FINALLY a good roll ...

This plan keeps getting more and more convoluted and I love it ... LOL ...the stink of desperation is STRONG now ...

"Matt: "You're Batman-ing this! Like Adam West!" XD

I cannot believe that actually worked ... or did it? O.O

Oh yeah, OF COURSE they got spotted. That WAS a massive fuckup ...

Phew ... that was like SCARY close ... and NOW he checks for traps? Oof ... at least they're in ... so what now?

Aha! So Chetney could follow her scent? Cool ... oh WHAT?!!! A Cytaa? Is that HER Cytaa? Okay then ... Gona? Cute ... So yeah, this could work, then ...

Awww ... yeah, let her hide in Laudna's birdhous backpack! Yeah! Oh yeah ... yeah, better on their shoulders, rather than in there with Pate ... O.O

Time running out for Orym's Invisibility ... great ...

Back to the bombers, again ...

A new wall ... a "BLAST WALL?" Oh, that can't be good ...

Oh, so this is going to be a PROBLEM for them going forward?

Passwall? With the Staff? Would that actually WORK?

This shit is FIFTEEN FEET THICK?!!! Bloody hell ...

Oh, an Illusory spell? Yeah, that's best ... nice one, Ira. And now he's making will-o-the-wisp lights too ... FCG: "I don't know why I bother."

Some kind of seriously ugly drilling machine ... that thing is just NASTY ... 3 Reilorans and a Hulk? Hmmmm ... potentially risky ... is this gonna be a problem?

Oh, so THIS is gonna be the bombsite? Hmmmm ... good point, though ... they definitely need to deal with these guys too ... ah, so we're DEFINITELY doing this then ...

SIX big bombs ... of course ... why am I not surprised?

Time to fight, then ... AND THAT'S when we take a break? Of course it is ...

And we're back ... with the OTHERS again ... yeah, not really surprised ...

Chetney wolfs out in the dumbest possible way and I love it ... XD ... and somebody's coming ... great timing ...

"Wiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiinstoooonnnn ..." Yup ... way to creep Matt out, Travis ... XD

Now Matt's doing secret sneaky DM stuff ... O.O ... oh dear ...

Balls ... GUARDS ... and they're like TOTALLY blocking the way ... how to get through? Wait ... Chetney's going to use his TOYS to do this? How?

Wow ... the Master Toymaker did BEAUTIFULLY there ... way to go, Chet! And now they're through ... sweet!

Grim Psychometry ... ON THE CRYSTAL?!!! Really, Chet? This sounds like SUCH bad idea ...

Aha, so they're like ... Reiloran SCIENTISTS, then? Hmmm ...

Ah, so THIS is the Bay? OKay then ...

Organs? BABY organs? Eep ... O.O ... in general this is all REALLY CREEPY ...

Oh dear gods what the fuck is THAT THING?

Hunter's Bane? Yeah, do it, Chet ... no hits ... phew ...

A fucking JUDICATOR is being autopsied? Holy fuck ...

Ah ... so that's who they're looking for ... and she's IN THE VAT!!! Great ... still alive, but ... yeah, this is clearly pretty bad ...

And we're back in the dig ... AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!!!

CHARM!!! Yup ... and it WORKS!!! OKay ... oh, not on IRA though ... jump in front of him? Fearne, honey ... wow, I can't believe that worked ...

Okay, thats ONE down without a fight ...

Wow ... Ashton is, like, REALLY bad at Deception ... O.O

Wow ... Ira just set the timer while THIS SHIT'S going on ... oh fuck ... this is all going south SO FAST ...

Three minutes = one minute of game play ... oh boy ... rush it, guys!

Oh, so Ira is going to ABANDON ASHTON? Wow .., oh, no, THAT'S more like it ... the Juggernaut is now a SNAIL ... nice ...

And now they're running ... and having a jolly little convo while they're at it ...

BOOM ...

Dimension Door to the surface just as the bombs go off? Phew ... and now eveything is just CHAOS ... Fearne is FALLING!!! Shit! Oh, NICE SAVE, Ira! And now they're just BOOKING IT!!!

Fuck, this is gone all kinds of fucked ... wait, he wants to UNROLL THE HOLE, put Letters in it, roll it up again with him in it, and then RUN AWAY with it? That is one hell of a Hail Mary ... roll for Dexterity, then ... so that just HALVES THE DAMAGE ... oof ... and now he has to do a STRENGTH CHECK to see if he can HOLD ONTO THE HOLE?!!! Oh my fucking gods ... if this tanks they lose the Hole forever ... 16? Wow ...

That's a lot of dice for damage ... that is NEVER a good sign ... even half of THIS is gonna hurt ... and now he's SMILING ... 158 points of Force Damage? Holy shit ... even halved, that's stil 79 points each ... ouch ...

But at least they still have the Hole ...

And now 25 points of BLUDGEONING damage each ... oh boy ... is it over, at leaat?

Oh bollocks ... that FUCKING DRAGON again ...

Oh for fuck's sake ... flip flop AGAIN?

And the blast shakes the whole place EVEN HERE ... more chaos ... and the vat is CRACKED! Okay ... Orym goes for it, meanwhile Chetney just shouts out for an evacuation ... so that leaves just the Mystic AND the Shrike ... hmmm ...

Battlemap? Aha ... cue Wizzkids plug ...

Unsettling Presence? Cool ...

Invisibility definitely really helps with Stealth checks ...

Getting ready for a scrap ... and a timed attack ... okay, then ...

A SIXTH LEVEL Psychic Lance? Bloody hell, Imogen ... and now the Mystic is Incapacitated ... nice ... 29 points of SPsychi damage!

Orym Hexes the Mystic and goes for an attack ... it hits! Oh yeah, he is gonna FUCK THIS GUY UP ... 18 points! Action Surge! Yeah ... oh yeah, he just MURDERS that guy ... holy fuck ... and now he's going for the Shrike instead ... holy shit, tiny Battle Master is a BADASS ...

Laudna Banes the Shrike, then Chetney casts Blood Curse of Binding on it ... oh, the new Scythe! Sweet ... and it hits! 19 for the first hit, 17 damage for the second! Wow ...

And NOW it's time to roll Inititative ...

Nuts ... the Shrike's up first ... and it smashes the glass tank with the ... THING in it ...

Some kind of giant BUG ... OH MY FUCKING GODS what the hell IS THAT THING?!!!

Laura asks them to hold for a moment ... cue several folk singing Girl From Ipanema ... XD ... oh, sounds like a Hail Mary ... Synaptic Static? Whoa ... so that's both the Shrike AND that bug beast ... 25 points of Psychic damage each ... and it fucks 'em up for fighting, too ... PINK LIGHTNING? Awww ... that's cute! :3

Chetney casts Blood Curse of Bloated Agony on the beasty, then attacks with his Scythe ... and CRITS!!! Nice ... Double damage means 25 on each of the two hits! Yeah ... and then his scythe SHATTERS right away? Fuck ... unbelievable ... he just GOT THAT!!!

Orym jumps on the still prone Shrike and attacks again ... 10 damage, then 15 on the second, 13 on the third ... and he gets the HDYWTDT! Yeah ... ANOTHER murder!

Laudna skitters across the ceiling over it and casts Blight on the vidulch ... 8D8 of Necrotic damage? Nice ... 25 altogether? Pretty sweet ... then she Quickens and hits it with an Eldritch Blast ... first misses, but the next two hit! Yeah ...

The beasty's turn and it's GETTING UP ... oh this is UGLY ... but it's also HURT ... okay ... IT CAN MULTI-ATTACK?!!! I'm sorry? Oh yeah, this thing is just unleashing a big can of whoopass on EVERYBODY, innit? Wait, AND it has Corroding Spit? Seriously? Come ON Matthew! But apparently because it wasn't "done", it is also falling apart with each turn ...

Imogen blasts a Lightning Bolt right through it ... at 4TH LEVEL?!!! Wow ... 23 points of damage! Just send those dice to dice jail, Laura! She Quickens, then casts Shocking Grasp on it ... 21 more points! Yeah ...

CHetney RIPS HIS OWN EARS OFF to reveal flames as he casts Crimson Rite! Okay ... 26 points of damage, plus another 16 from the Rite ... HDYWTDT!!! Yes! He just tears the vidulch CLEAN OPEN and it just spills itself out all over him ... charming ... oh for the love of ... DON'T EAT THAT, Chet!

They break the vat open and release their intended rescuee ... yeah, get to healing, guys! So Evoroa is free, and awake, but definitely still HURT ...

Oh yeah, grab the Aeorian tech thingy, yeah ... into the Bag of Holding with it! And some fetus bottles for Laudna ... lovely ...

Oh wow ... so they just put the white hot masks DIRECTLY onto the Judicators' faces, huh? Charming ...

Checking in with the others ... back at the bomb site, then ...

Oh yeah, I would say that blast was a RESOUNDING success ... meanwhile Letters and Ashton are just DEAFENED right now ... great ... Fearn tries to getto them both now ...

Oh thank fuck they're back together again ...

Fuck ... the Red Glow? Not good ... and here comes the SCREAM!!! Fuck ... whatever that was it wasn't GOOD ...

Yeah, better beat a hasty retreat ...

Another explosion ... a PINK explosion? Great ... oh yeah, that was DEFINITELY LIliana ... and she's STILL ALIVE ...

Backtracking out through the builsing in a hurry ... thank fuck for Invisibility ... yeah, they BARELY make it out ...

Crap ... soldiers, just EVERYWHERE ... try another route, then ... yes, UP not down ... good thing for all the chaos, clearly ...

Boot the door! Yeah, here we go ... young half-elf? Hmmm ... just keep going! Yeah, balcony! Go! Oh ... well THAT'S a long way down ...

So apparently the scream was Liliana ... oof ...

DOWN!!! QUICK!!!

Phew ... they manage to make their escape into the city ...

Liliana (psychically): "Did she KNOW?!!!" Matt: "And THAT'S where we're gonna call it a night!" Cue CHAOS from the party ...

Fuck ... another exhausting session ...

#critical role #crit role campaign 3 #crit role spoilers #campaign 3 spoilers #campaign 3 episode 90 #matt mercer #marisha ray #laudna #travis willingham #chetney pock o'pea #laura bailey #imogen temult #liam o'brien #orym of the air ashari #ashley johnson #fearne calloway #taliesin jaffe #ashton greymoore #sam riegel #fresh cut grass

[scoopertrouper]

this is not a prompt, just a regular question for you to answer; have you ever entertained some AU's for stancy in your head? (besides the spiderman one which sounds so cool btw)

the spider-man AU is one of those ideas that is so cool and so perfect that I WISH it were mine. there are SO many things you could do with it, and kudos to @slashergirlnancy for having the galaxy brain necessary to bring it to life in gifs.

but otherwise, in terms of stancy AUs, it’s funny. normally I’m all about that life, but for whatever reason, all the layers of Steve and Nancy’s current canon story are supplying enough fuel to keep a thousand creative fires burning. the emotional progression and second chance romance of it all are THAT good.

that said, there is one idea that is near and dear to my heart (I sometimes think it might be the only thing that could compel me to give multi-chapters another shot). it’s actually barely an AU at all, at least not at this point in time (tho it almost certainly would be once s5 is wrapped).

basically i have this really clear vision in my head of a Steve and Nancy who, for whatever reason, missed their second chance while they were still teenagers and, in a funny little twist of fate, end up reuniting 5-10 years down the line in a new city, once they’ve had a chance to live a little and grow into their own skins.

maybe i am showing my age in a big, big way, but there is something very sexy to me about, idk, the ordinariness of two adults coming together once they’ve settled into their careers and homes and everyday lives. they go to the gym and cook themselves dinner and can buy their own alcohol, and now they’re just waiting to see if this one last thing slots into place, should they ever meet (or re-meet!) the right person.

(don’t get me wrong, writing about angsty teenagers is fun, but it’s also kind of hard when you have to think of 3,000 excuses to explain why their parents wouldn’t be questioning 110% of what they’re doing. unless, you know, it’s Steve. 🥲)

also in this AU i think steve is a firefighter. just for, you know…reasons. and nancy is obv the star reporter no matter which universe we’re inhabiting. and robin is a little more out and proud and very into the alt rock scene. she has her own place but mostly hangs out at Steve’s and drags him to underground shows on school nights and listens to more Garbage than he can stand, usually.

so yes anyway anon i am sorry for describing literally the most boring possible AU that i may write someday if i can find a way to make it interesting outside my own head. but that is what it is lol.

#stancy #steve harrington #nancy wheeler #robin buckley #anon reply #my stuff

[rjsals]

Mh, Seoho's a really cute guy. I like him a lot, love him even.🥺 What's new though...

Anyways, if you really wanna talk about him a lot then you can tell me again when and how he became your bias~ or you can just list all the things you love and appreciate about him🧡

HI. i just washed up and made myself comfortable so i could divert all my free time & attention to this post right here bc OH BOY do i have a lot to say

although i'm not particularly sure how he became my bias? i dont even think he was in the running until one day i was watching the second season of show me the mwm (the episode where they have to find their symbol in a morning mission) and seoho straight up ate xion's lollipop. i remember thinking oh. he's the one!!

i think the main thing i like about seoho is how effortlessly he makes me laugh?? we all know he's kind of shy but at the same time he's not afraid to make a fool out of himself and just does whatever feels right and somehow it works... i faintly remember him talking about wanting to be a comedian as a kid, because he loved making people laugh and everytime i have to catch my breath after another one of his silly antics, a part of me hopes that he knows that's exactly what he's doing right now.

and yeah he's incredibly funny but also really fucking smart and his out of the box thinking often blows my mind. his big brain is sexy as hell and i love how he just keeps me on my toes and surprises me with something new every single time!! and with every single new thing i learn about him my heart grows in size. there's galaxies in this man's mind that i can't WAIT to discover!!

i think.. when it comes to seoho it's very easy for people to lock him in the box of the "silly hyung who loves joking around and often acts like the maknae" and throw away the key.. stereotyping idols happens a lot, and when shit hit the fan, people said some things that i vehemently disagree with when it comes to his role as the oldest in oneus. first of all, i don't think that role means as much in their group as it does in others bc they treat each other as equals to begin with? but it's crazy to me how people look at seoho and don't see how much of a support/pillar he is to his members.

seoho, reliable 민이형 who makes sure dongju doesnt fall short of anything he needs (even if he doesnt know it himself) and gladly indulges the youngest in all his passions and interests even if he pretends to dislike it.

seoho, the one hwanwoong goes to late at night for comfort because he feels like he's the one who understands him best. the first two rbw boyz who share a deeper understanding.

seoho, keonhee's twin. i may be biased but these two have so much in common and constantly feed off each other in so many ways. they're often giggling by themselves, share the same deep passion for singing and music (exhibit A: every single one of their vlives), and hwanwoong mentioning how the roommates are getting more and more alike as time goes by in their recent vlive just tells me how close they are even if we don't see that much of it on camera. (this was supposed to be a paragraph about how seoho takes care of keonhee but of course my keonho biased ass ended up here). what i meant to say is i think seoho, as keonhee's roommate, provides both those "need a boys night in with some beers and a pinch of crazy karaoke" kinda vibes as well as the guidance and understanding keonhee might be in need of. i think they match each other's energy well.

seoho, geonhak's (i dare say) best friend. a day without seodo banter is like going a day without water. seoho has geonhak's back like no other. you mess with gh, you mess with seoho, and he's not afraid to let you know either. the "we stand shoulder to shoulder" line in the top gun medley is actually about them.

and to think people don't see seoho as someone who can adequately care for his members is both beyond ridiculous and sad to me. just bc you can't see his love language doesn't mean they can't.

AND THAT IS NOT TO MENTION THE SHEER TALENT this man posseses but i won't get into the way his voice gives me chills and he often leaves me shooting heart eyes at my screen after a performance. i also won't elaborate on how amazing a dancer he is and how he somehow also is great at sports and how his talking voice is so soothing and comforting i sometimes put on old vlives to ease my anxiety (i'm literally listening to his last bubble live as i'm typing this. it's my fav so far.)

i also won't mention his pretty smile and his beautiful eyes and his amazing hands and the little freckle on his cheek and the shape of his lips and when he goes :} and how much i love the sound of his laugh.

i'm probably missing sooooo much but i've been going at this for over an hour and it's been a long day so i just want to say i love him a lot and i would pull down the moon for him.

and ily for giving me an excuse to talk about him hehe 🧡

#🦊💭 #seoho #listen i haven't been here long but i have strong feelings about this man #ask #🧡 ezra #oh btw did i mention he's fucking hot

[intermundia]

will. last night I was just about to fall asleep after a good old daydream/random stream of thoughts sesh that had earlier on included me remembering and thinking about lex talionis for a while, when I just kinda froze and woke up fully again because my brain had just suddenly picked up on the parallel between the first chapter and the climax. obi-wan desperately trying to keep anakin alive in an underground mine while anakin is so compelled to save the suffering trapped slaves versus everything that happens with the underground wellspring, the suffering of a whole galaxy, obi-wan saving him etc etc!!! this was probably obvious to everyone lmao but instead I got to have a brain on fire moment many months after having read it, and I loved that!!! a lot! thank you for writing and sharing something that burrowed in my head like that <3

anon 😭😭😭 i think it was not obvious, as nobody else has ever remarked on that parallel before!! it makes me feel simultaneously thrilled and humbled for you to have noticed and remembered, or at least to have subconsciously picked up on it enough to be processing in the background of your mind. it fills me with something like awe knowing that the story has lingered with you afterward like that.

the beginning mirrored the climax, so you can imagine that when i was writing LT, i carried the entirety of it around in my head at once, and it definitely gave me a headache. i tried so hard to design a narrative that had a ring structure, so that following the plot was like going straight through that tree, repeating events but with a difference to show that things have evolved.

it’s supposed to mirror how obi-wan’s causality runs both ways, the waves of the climax shaping the future and the past. i also wanted every single thing that happened in the second half of the story to be primed and familiar in the reader’s brain so that as it unfolded, so it felt inevitable and correct, the important points all having been foreshadowed to some degree.

i also wanted rereading it to be filled with an extra layer of satisfaction at seeing the clues. and it’s worked!! people have noted the big or sexy echoes, but nobody’s specifically mentioned rescuing anakin in the cave to me before, so thank you, for reading it, caring about it, remembering it, and telling me about it. this was the best possible message, i can’t even put it into words 😭

#just…. #thank you #fanfic stuff #lex talionis #obikin #sw

[maybege]

THE TENSION IN I CAN SEE YOU IS IMMACULATE

And yes to alllll that!! Like finally being able to breathe, to drop the mask, the persona, and just exist alongside someone else who not only sees through the persona, but wants that. Wants the real Paz, not the brand, not the race car driver, just him.

Also running back to dress: secret moments in a crowded room goes so well with the up against a wall line in I can see you.

-💛

Ohhh you have galaxy brain, you sare so right, those lines would work perfectly together!!!

I am thinking ... perhaps atteneding some kind of dinner or party? Maybe something where Paz meets his sponsors and it's a big PR deal. So when you show up up, for his PR team it is all part of the deal. You wear the prettiest dress and act the loving grilfriend and they all just think it is an act because that is what was agreed upon.

But for Paz and for you, it is much more than that. Because you both know it is not an act and that the real relationship you have is very much a secret. Which makes a night like this even more difficult because you just know that Paz looks very handsome in his suit and he thinks you are sexiness personified in your beuatiful dress and all he wants is to find a quiet moment where he can whisk you away and just kiss you 🥺❤️

#may answers #race car driver!paz vibes #💛 anon

[nako-doodles]

This is an Amazing Creator Award! Your creations are incredible, and they light up every dashboard they land on. Pass this on to eight of your favorite creators to show your appreciation and let them know their art is loved! 💗💫

I feel like cinderella when she smuggled herself into the ball and got noticed by the prince asjgfioaj

#val im literally so in love w you #you and your big sexy galaxy brain #ans #muwutuals

[macdennissurvivor]

i kinda understand why people are comparing mfhp and this scene because they’re the only truly emotional moments of the show but it’s so annoying because like they’re such different moments both in meaning and execution and it’s a disservice to compare them. yeah both are about them confronting their fathers and comforting their abandoned inner child but mac and charlie’s arcs are so different i don’t get why people have to immediately make it a competition or downplay the impact of mfhp as a coming out scene. charlie’s moment tonight was so beautiful idk why people can’t praise it without comparing it.

you’re so right!! and yeah, obviously people are gonna compare them bc of their nature. i know i did!! i meant that part of my post as like what you said, there’s no need to downplay one to hype up the other. you can personally prefer one scene over the other, whether you relate to mac’s coming out storyline more or charlie’s dad arc or whatever, but you don’t need to say one is better than the other when they are equally important in terms of character development for BOTH mac and charlie. they don’t need to compete, there’s no need for it!! dayum!!

#iasip #me and anon getting married #your big galaxy brain is so sexy #i’m being super bitchy i’ve just been on edge all day from my meds or bpd or something idfk but my point still stands!! #you can criticize something without shitting on something else whtvr #im tired #im sorry if you’re offended or whtver #probably gonna get hate for this but! i’ll just deal with that later #i’ll be nicer tomorrow besties mwah #byeeeee be safe don’t throw corpses off of mountains ig

[fablecore]

i wonder, is it possible to classify one piece oc creators based on which crew your oc is in...? well, i'll take a swing at it! these are very broad generalizations based only on my thoughts while reading one piece, and it's written in good fun. let me know in the tags if they apply to you!

if your oc is in—

kidd pirates: you're cool. you're the coolest one here. i would trust you with my life, and you would reply, "god damn it, why do people keep saying that to me". you're trying really hard to have a good time, but you're sisyphus pushing the boulder up the hill and the boulder is trauma and the devil is oda.

heart pirates: you love watching characters suffer while saying, "omg your nose is broken dork <3" but you're also obsessed with the cathartic release of comfort in hurt/comfort fics. living in a society is the only thing stopping you from getting matching law knuckle tats.

straw hat pirates: you came here for a good time and you are actually having a good time. you love found families who are really just a deranged crew of weirdo misfits, like a clan of dumpster diving raccoons.

whitebeard pirates: big softie with a hidden evil streak. you love found families who are competent and well-adjusted, with lots of dad energy and inevitably tragic endings.

the marines/world government: there's something so sexy about chasing after wanted criminals who represent the diametric opposite of what you are. you love characters tortured by their moral compass, their inner demons, their beliefs of right and wrong.

the revolutionary army: you love sabo.

a villainous faction, e.g. baroque works, cp9, tobi roppo: this is so galaxy-brained of you... i have nothing to add, you've won the game... you are the lyrics to us by regina spektor "we're living in a den of thieves / and it's contagious" wow... honestly i would join too just to be villain buddies with you.......

#ノート #one piece oc #one piece #tag yourself

[raven-at-the-writing-desk]

This dorm leader Rook AU that everyone is building is truly galaxy brain material. Here's my idea; just imagine that he has finally found you and is trying to coax/seduce you into coming back with him. But your like Nope I know your tricks sneaky bastard. And then you guys fight, and you actually manage to trick/outsmart him. But as he's laying there you can't bring yourself to hurt him, and he quickly poisons you. You wake up on his lap all freshened up on his throne. hrhfiebiwbf. There.

[Referencing this post!]

Rook Hunt s. s ss s-s-se d uc ing you................................. OTL big long words hot big long words sexy

Ah, yes 😔 The fakeout move where he lies there and pretends to be passed out, and your stupid ass decides to check to make sure he’s still breathing (or to finish the job)... BUT you get distracted by how pretty and peaceful he looks, and Rook just yoinks you into a kiss... Uh-oh, looks like his mouth was coated with a special poison and now you’re on the train to dreamland 😷 kiss of “death” hot

When you come to again, you’re all warm and fuzzy—as though you’ve just stepped out of a bath—and dressed in fine clothes, your body laid against Rook’s. Oh? Has his Sleeping Beauty finally awakened? Très bien! He’ll ask if you feel comfortable in his lap, if you enjoy the clothes he picked for you, as he strokes your freshly washed hair. He was sure to be gentle with your beautiful body as he tided you up—he would never want to hurt you.

#tw // possessiveness #tw // dubcon #tw // yandere #Slapping on alllll the tws just in case #Rook Hunt #yandere #AU #Rook Hunt thirst #notes from the writing raven #twisted wonderland AU #twst AU

[odetojeons]

What Tigers Do — Kwon Soonyoung

request: hi! i just came across your recent joshua imagine and omg IT WAS REALLY GOOD😭, would you be able to do a dom!hoshi with a breeding kink, please? already in love with your blog<3

tags: fem and sub!reader, dom!hoshi, breeding kink, multiple orgasms, reader insert, oral (m receiving), unprotected sex (stay safe everyone!), established hoshi x reader

a/n: accidently spent the night writing this lmfao, i was going to only start a bit but got too caught up on it :’) btw this goes from cute to sexy real quick to cute again, but anyways, i hope you like it!!

word count:  3329

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“Another plushie?” you ask as soon as Soonyoung enters inside the room, holding plastic bags in a hand and a tiger plushie in the other. He pretends he didn’t listen, but you continue anyways. “You know that you have a lot of those already, right? They are only collecting dust.”

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“Why not have more?” Soonyoung asks instead, like that would make all the sense.

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“Because,” you start, getting up from the sofa and walking across the living room until you’re right in front of your boyfriend. He towers over you easily, but the way he averts his eyes elsewhere makes him look so small. “You only ever use a few. The rest is sitting somewhere getting musty and you take forever to clean them.”

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Soonyoung pouts. You sigh; it means that he knows you’re right but he’s too stubborn to say it. Grabbing one of his hands, he stops unpacking the stuff he bought and looks at you.

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“You like tigers that much?” you question softly, and he nods a little. Soonyoung puts his plastic bags on the ground and makes a grab for your waist, pulling you up against him.

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The action is a bit sudden, although welcome, and you yelp in surprise when you lend against his chest. You look up and catch Soonyoung smiling down at you like you’re the most endearing thing he has ever seen.

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“Of course I do,” he tells, watching your face attentively. “You said I look like one.”

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You don’t know why his words make you blush, but you feel heat creeping up at your cheeks and tinting them a light shade of red. 

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“You don’t.”

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Soonyoung chuckles softly at your reaction.

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“So cute,” he comments before you rip that attitude out of him by tickling his sides. He contorts himself and laughs harder, head thrown back. “Stop it!”

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Soonyoung somehow manages to catch one of your wrists, using that as leverage to push you against the entrance door. You groan slightly in pain when Soonyoung pins you down against the wood frame, his chest heaving and a bright, warm smile on his lips.

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“Not fair you’re bigger,” you mumble with a pout.

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“Should’ve eaten more rice if you wanted to be taller than me,” Soonyoung says, still trying to catch his breath, and fuck… he looks so handsome like this, with the collar of his shirt hanging low and exposing the beginning of his — very nice and very big — chest, blonde hair all over the place, cheeks flushed and eyes sparkling like he holds all the galaxy in them and you feel like your heart will burst really soon.

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You lick your lips nervously, watching Soonyoung’s eyes flicker to catch the movement, and try to move your hands free. But Soonyoung is not letting go, suddenly gripping your wrists harder. The action makes you gasp slightly, the quick change in the air leaving you breathless.

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“Admit you think I look like a tiger,” Soonyoung says, more like orders, and you whine at the intensity of his eyes. 

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“No,” comes your answer, and he frowns at you, body pressing against yours until you’re sandwiched between him and the door. “Gonna have to prove it to me first.”

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Soonyoung’s eyes flash with something you’re very familiar with; it makes a burning heat pool at your lower stomach alarmingly fast and you want to close your legs. But Soonyoung is faster, steps completely into your personal space and crowds you tight against the door, the air growing heavier and thicker by the second. You bask in the warmness of him, his firm body so pressed into yours that you’re afraid he can feel your stuttering heartbeat.

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The soft drag of your chest against his every time you inhale and exhale is also not helping at all, and you can’t help but slightly move your hips forward, trying to rub off on his thigh. Soonyoung catches your neediness easily, of course, and he smirks before his face gets closer and closer until his breath is mingling with yours.

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“Careful with what you wish,” Soonyoung says, voice low and teasing. He drags his lips into yours, so softly it has you whining and trying to kiss him. “Might as well end up eating you.”

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You smirk back at him, biting at his lower lip before dragging your tongue to soothe the pain.

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“What makes you think I don’t want that?”

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Soonyoung growls. It catches you off guard, it always does since it sounds downright animalistic, but you can’t dwell on the hotness of it too much because he’s kissing you without mercy. Soonyoung kisses you like a starved man, teeth clacking and tongue pressing against yours until you’re putty and breathless just for him.

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You whine into the kiss, feels like Soonyoung’s drawn the breath right out of your lungs, your mind hazy.

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It only serves to rile him up, the kiss hungrier, messier, his tongue licking into your mouth as if you might disappear and fingers digging into your wrists harder in his desperation, before he let’s go of one of them to sneak a hand in your waist.

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Now free, your digits desperately come up to take a fistful of his hair, in dire need of holding something, anything. Soonyoung groans at the feeling of your nails scratching his scalp, pulling your lower part closer so he could rut against your belly. You go easily into it, and Soonyoung’s half hard cock presses on your stomach, so hot it makes you whine. 

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“Fuck,” he curses, affected with the drag of his cock in your skin. Soonyoung circles his arm around you to lift you higher, almost taking you off of the ground as he thrust now against your clit.

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It takes you off guard, the way he’s holding you with one arm alone — not your fault your boyfriend looks so hot when he’s all hot and bothered like this. The press against your sensitive cunt makes you moan and throw your head back, hearing him groan at the sight of your neck bared for him.

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You laugh.

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“What’s so funny?” Soonyoung asks, hips canting up firmly and mouth glued to the exposed skin of your neck.

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“Fine, I will admit it,” your voice breaks into a moan when he fucks up just right. “You look like a tiger.”

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You pull his head back by the grip you have on his hair, looking him deep in the eyes.

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“A tiger in heat.”

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You feel the growl before you even hear it, Soonyoung’s chest rumbling with the sheer intensity of it, eyes darkening and pupils blown wide with lust. His strong earthy smell — due to his cologne you love so much and are so familiar with — burns your lungs as if on cue. He looks drowned in such a dark desire you feel it to your bones; your brain begging, clawing at you to submit, submit, submit, because my boyfriend will make me feel so good. 

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“Yeah?” Soonyoung says, and you would find it funny how a simple word could make you shiver so hard, if it weren’t for how horny you are. He lets go of you completely, pressing a hand on your shoulder, and you know very well what he wants you to do.

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Your knees touch the ground, your face now centimeters apart from Soonyoung's fully hard cock. You take a moment to look at how it presses against the fabric of his jeans, mouth already salivating in need.

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“Would that make you my kitten, then?” Soonyoung asks, watching like a hawk when you moan, mouth pressing against the outline of his prominent cock. The pet name is something new, but you sure are keen on it already. “Oh, you like that.”

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Soonyoung reaches down and opens the zipper of his jeans, unbuttoning his pants until he has enough space to pull his cock out. He holds on your chin, bringing your face closer and closer until he could press his manhood against your cheek. In your haze and impatience, you push more against his cock, trying to get it inside your mouth.

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He laughs and you blush at your own desperation.

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“Such a dirty little kitten,” Soonyoung feeds you the fat head of his cock, and you moan in relief when you feel the familiar salty taste of his pre-cum mixing with your saliva. “Suck me off good and maybe I’ll give you a reward.”

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You nod a bit desperately, at least the best you can with your position, and relax your throat in order to take more of him inside. He’s big and his thickness doesn’t help, but you do your best to put as much as you can in your mouth, hand coming to jerk off the part that doesn’t fit there.

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“Mouth’s always so fucking good,” Soonyoung moans out, watching you bob your head on his cock. He kicks his hips a little, just to be a bit mean and watch tears gather in the corner of your eyes. “Do you know what tigers do when they’re in heat, hm, kitten?”

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You moan, expecting it would convey your answer when you are too occupied sucking him off. Soonyoung groans at the vibration, hold tight and unforgiving in your hair.

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“They breed their mates,” he says and holy fuck, you felt a shiver rocking all over your body, throat convulsing when you try to take him further than you can. You pull out, coughing a little, but take him back inside as soon as you catch your breath. “Would you like that? Be stuffed full of cum until it’s oozing out of your hole.”

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There’s this unbearable urge to come that has you reaching your clit and rubbing at it furiously, by the same time that Soonyoung impulses his hips forward and fucks your mouth relentlessly for a few times.

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“Stop,” he tells you, and you moan in frustration, especially when he pulls out of your mouth and jerks himself off in front of you. Not fair.

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“A-are you gonna cum on my face?” you question instead, blinking at him in hopes he says yes, but he only smirks.

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“No,” Soonyoung answers simply, grabbing your arm and pulling you up. He holds you tight, which you’re thankful for because your legs feel jittery. Then, he smooths a hand in your belly. “Rather put my cum in here.”

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You moan at his lewd remark.

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“Fuck, you’re so dirty—” your sentence gets cut off in the middle with your own little yelp of surprise when he holds the back of your thighs and lifts you off of the ground, your legs circling around his waist so you don’t fall. “Soonyoung—”

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“Gonna breed you like you deserve,” Soonyoung says, voice rough, and you hold him tighter when you realize he’s taking you to the bedroom.

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He throws you on the bed, your body bouncing on the soft mattress as you watch Soonyoung take his clothes off. You never get tired of seeing him and his dancer-like body, especially on this kind of occasion, because his chest looks sinful when it’s flushed red and sweaty. Your eyes soon fall downwards though, looking at his hard, leaking cock. It’s such a pretty cock, a beautiful shade of pink and it almost doesn’t have veins.

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Soonyoung notices your hunger and laughs softly, getting in the bed with you.

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“Like my cock that much you can’t even stop staring at it?” he teases, pressing against your clit. Your cheeks heat up with shame and arousal, Soonyoung’s hand creeping up your body and going inside your shirt — technically, his shirt, which you borrowed from his closet, and you know that’s the only reason why you’re still not naked. “Hmm, love it when you use my clothes.”

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He sighs against your throat when he cants his cock up against your clothed cunt.

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“Want you to smell only like me,” Soonyoung admits, kissing down your neck. He pulls your shirt up until it’s above your chest, so he can suck one of your nipples into his mouth. 

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“Yours—” you breathe out, a whine escaping your lips when Soonyoung sucks a hickey right above your left breast. “All yours.”

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He groans, too desperate to care when he accidentally rips your panties in the process of taking them off. You would complain, but the protest dies in your throat when Soonyoung sucks a finger into his mouth and rubs against your entrance, mumbling something among the lines of “fucking drenched”. He pushes it past the ring of muscles just slightly, knows you could take it easily since you’ve fucked in the morning, yours and Soonyoung’s sex drive shooting through roof lately.

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Soonyoung shifts, mouth working it’s way down your stomach, tasting the cloying sweetness of your skin as he licks and bites at it. He wants to cover you with marks and the thought has you squirming underneath him, moaning when he adds another finger.

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“G-give me more, come on,” you say, impatient to have him inside already.

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“So impatient,” Soonyoung tsks, grabbing your jaw tight. “That’s not how you ask.”

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“Fuck, p-please, ah—” your sentence breaks into a moan when you feel another finger prodding against your entrance, squirming when Soonyoung’s hand works furiously inside you.

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Electricity runs up your spine when the pad of his finger hits just right in your sweet spot, your body jolting upward on the bed and head falling back in pleasure.

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“S-Soonyoungie,” you whine, hands fisting into the sheets. “Stop t-teasing.”

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“I don’t know if you deserve that, kitten,” he hums instead, pressing persistently against your sweet spot. “Haven’t heard you begging for my cum yet.”

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“Soonyoung,” you’re nearly in tears, little cries muffled when you bite on your lip, and it’s so good but you just want his cock. “Please, Soonyoungie. Want— Want it.”

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“Want what?” Soonyoung asks, unfazed with your pleading. He wants to hear the exact words coming out of your mouth. “Tell me, kitten, come on.”

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“W-want,” you try to focus your eyes on him, and you notice he’s looking at you like he’s ready to pounce on you. “Want your cum.”

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Soonyoung hums, pleased.

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“Breed me, please,” you squeeze around his fingers. “Breed me full of your cum.”

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“Shit, fuck,” it’s a haze from there; Soonyoung takes off your shirt, also almost ripping it in the process, and turns you over. He grips your hips and pulls your ass up, a hand pressing your face down into the pillow. 

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For a moment you think you’re in for more teasing but the head of Soonyoung’s cock prods inside your entrance and knocks the breath right out of you. He kisses your nape as he pushes all the way in, cock throbbing inside of you.

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“So fucking hot and tight,” Soonyoung groans, grinding into your tight heat and you’re incapable of words, mind utterly blank, mouth hung open. He pulls back enough to fuck right back into you, sending your body foward in the bed with the sheer intensity of it. “Gonna fuck you so good.”

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——————————

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You can only whine and whimper, face buried into the curve of his neck. It feels like you can’t even hold yourself up, Soonyoung supporting you by the grip he has on your ass, and he angles your body so he could fuck into you even deeper. It has you seeing stars, mind focused on the feeling of the drag of his cock inside you and the pleasant oversensitivity on your cunt.

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You already came around four times and Soonyoung is a little behind with two times. You just know it’s something about his dancer stamina, it must be, with the way he still has the strength to hold you on his lap and fuck into you almost brutally. 

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Somewhere in the back of your mind you think he has never been this set on filling you up, if the lewd squelch of cum echoing through the room every time he fucks inside you is anything to go by. 

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“Such a good fucking pussy, swallowing me up,” Soonyoung tells you, watches how your mouth gets more open at the comment, and leans to lick into it. His mind is fuzzy, can’t think of anything beyond putting his cum inside you. “Gonna breed you until you’re swelling with my cum, fuck.”

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Soonyoung knows it’s unrealistic — also because you’re on the pill — but he can’t help but get lost in the thought. He fucks into you faster, groaning at how tight you feel, sloppy and wet and so so so good for Soonyoung.

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀

“Y-yes,” you reply intelligibly, don’t know what you’re saying yes for, but Soonyoung groans and bites on your neck, tongue soothing at it later.

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀

“Yeah, you’re gonna take it, aren’t you?” he breathes out, voice ragged with effort and he’s right, you do love taking it. “Pretty little kitten.”

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀

You squeeze around Soonyoung’s cock in answer to the praise, enjoying the way his hips stutter at the feeling of your walls suffocating him. He slows down, fucks into you languidly, dragging his length in and out at a torturous pace. It makes you go livid, the burn of your release ebbing away. 

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀

You’re lucid enough to take in how fucking hot and ethereal he looks. The way his skin glistens with the dim light of the room, cheeks flushed red from all the effort and pupils blown wide with lust. Just looking at Soonyoung makes you want to squirm.

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀

“S-so full,” you comment appreciatively, gasping with the way he grinds inside you. “Make me fuller, please.”

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀

Soonyoung growls; he picks up the pace after that, fucking into your sharp and fast, the sweetness of your “ah, ah, ah!” falling in sync with the sound of his balls slapping your ass.

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀

He presses your back down on the mattress, body completely engulfing yours and a hand firmly wrapped around your waist as he drills into you. You silently thank him for being such a great dancer because he’s hips are like magic, hitting your sweet spot dead on and it has the burn in your lower stomach building higher and higher.

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀

“Gonna— gonna c-cum,” you cry out, body thrashing on the bed before your arms circles around his back and brings him impossibly close.

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀

“Come on, kitten,” he tells, hips hammering inside you unforgivably. “Go ahead.”

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀

You sob as you come, back arching off of the bed and head thrown back. It’s less intensive than the others you had before but somehow it feels even better, cunt clenching around Soonyoung so hard he stills momentarily, rubbing at your sensitive clit to help you out with your orgasm. You forget where you are, chest heaving and mind numb, but you still want Soonyoung to come inside you.

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀

And he seems to think the same because he fucks you right after your back melts against the bed again, thrusts erratic as he grips you so tight he knows it’s gonna be bruised the next day.

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀

“Fuck, fuck, fuck,” Soonyoung curses, desperate for release, and the oversensitivity leaves you crying. But you still manage to catch a breath to encourage him.

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀

“Want your cum— oh,” your words get stuck when Soonyoung fucks inside you one more time before halting his hips. And then you feel it, another hot surge of cum filling you up.

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀

They moan in unison, bodies falling limp on the bed as he grinds a few times through his orgasm. You wish you could keep it all inside you forever, fingers intertwining with Soonyoung’s.

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀

The touch has him lifting his head from where it lays beside yours and looking at you with soft eyes.

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀

“I love you,” he says with a tired, but fond smile. Soonyoung moves a little so he can give you a peck in the lips. “So much.”

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀

You bask in the feeling of being in his arms. So warm, so inviting, so home. Kwon Soonyoung is your home.

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀

“I love you too.”

#seventeen fanfic #seventeen imagine #seventeen smut #seventeen x reader #hoshi smut #hoshi x reader #hoshi #hoshi imagine #soonyoung smut #soonyoung

[wlw-peachylsbn]

the only heaven i'll be sent to (is when I'm alone with you) (bellatrix lestrange x reader)

A/N: Okie dokie, girls and gays! So! This is going to be a sub!Bella fic. Now I know what you all might be thinking, Bella is a dom, but you know what? It's not my fault my brain is so big and sexy, and I'm on a whole new galaxy. Thanks to @bellatrixscurls for inspiring me!!!

We have some praise and degradation, a bit of a choking kink, pet play, a big ass Mommy kink, and like. A shoe kink?

Your quill jumps from one line to the next, not stopping even when your love walks into the room. You're only half done with this essay, and you still need to finish one more after this. Thanks to Bellatrix's interference, you slacked off during the weekend, preferring to share her bed and lounge about. Though, who could blame you?

So deep in thought, you don’t notice Bellatrix as she moves closer to you, heaving a deep sigh.

"Did you need something, Bella?" You tap your quill, still thinking about the right way to form this one sentence.

"Yes, I actually did.” She shrugs, taking a step closer so there's only a sliver of space between you. It's an odd position, really, and you have to crane your head back to gaze at her.

"Yes?" You reach up to tangle your feelings in her curls. When you tug lightly, a shiver runs through her body.

Oh. You pause, looking Bellatrix over shrewdly. Your weekend wasn't just relaxing; you also discovered some wonderful, nasty details about your lover. Specifically, some certain kinks she had.

“Oh, did you want Mommy, sweetheart?” you coo, tugging on her curls again.

Another shiver runs through Bellatrix’s body as she kneels before you, eyes big and soft. You can already tell that she's slipping into her subspace, an experience you both have discussed thoroughly. You haven't acted on it quite yet though, but today might be the perfect time to rectify that.

“That’s right, go get on your knees, darling.” Your hand comes reassuringly down on Bellatrix’s shoulder, pressing her to kneel completely.

God. Bellatrix is absolutely beautiful like this, with her hair wild and a curl in her face, her eyes wide with starry-eyed longing, like she thinks you hold her world up. Of course, you would be lying if you said it didn't arouse you to see Bellatrix on her knees for you, only for you. She's such a dominant, tough personality, which leads people to assume she would be in charge in the bedroom. Sometimes she is, but she also confessed that playing with submission would be incredibly arousing for her. You're the only one she trusts with her secrets, which infuses the scene with more tenderness than you expect.

“Am I doing okay, Mommy?” A whisper, light as air, settles in between the two of you.

You know how deeply Bellatrix needs reassurance. Mainly praise. She didn’t say such a thing in as many words, but you know her. A kind word or a light touch makes her clingy, but praise, full, unrestrained, lengthy praise will make her … well. You don’t know yet, but you can’t wait to find out soon.

“You’re doing amazing, sweetheart, being such a good girl. Just sit there for Mommy, alright? I want you to relax a bit.”

“But, Mommy, I feel fine, I don’t want to—”

“Quiet. Now. Do not question me.” Steel enters your tone just as quickly as Bellatrix whines. She sticks out her bottom lip, scowling in a rather cute manner, you admit. But you wipe away any trace of amusement from your face. “If you act like a brat, you can go back to your room and pout there instead.”

Another scowl, this one deeper, crosses her face, but she grudgingly nods and lowers her eyes. You resume looking at your paper, pretending to work, but your mind races, returning to your little brat at your feet. Should you keep her in suspense for a while longer? Or really draw it out until she pleads?

“Mommy?”

Well, that didn’t take too long at all.

“Yes?” You keep your tone purposefully neutral.

“Are you mad?”

“No, just disappointed.”

Bellatrix pouts. Again. “I hate when you say that.”

“I know, darling, but if you were good, I wouldn’t have to say it so much.”

“ ‘m sorry.”

“What was that?” You raise your eyebrow, not ready to drop the matter yet.

“I’m sorry, Mommy. I just …” Bellatrix has never been one to conceal her feelings. You can see the hesitance warring with want, clear as day, as she ducks her head, avoiding your searching gaze. “I …”

“What is it, honey? You know you can tell me anything.” You lightly grab her chin with your hand, tugging until she’s facing you. “You know I would never judge you.”

“Can you be really Mommy? And make me feel like your little girl again?” Heat blooms in her pale cheeks, and when she hides her face again, you let her. “I just wanna … be good for you. Please?”

The tenderness from earlier returns, and you coo, “Oh, I see now. You want me to tell you what to do? Do you crave my firm hand? My harsh touch? Come now, good girls use their words.”

“I want you to be nice, Mommy. To make me feel really good. But I want you to be mean, too.” To anyone else, Bellatrix’s words would sound like a convoluted mess. And they are, to some extent. But you can always soothe her mind and untangle her web of feelings.

“I see now, darling. Of course, I’ll do that. You just be my good girl and let me take care of everything, alright?”

“Yes, please, thank you, Mommy.” She looks up finally, and you can see the self-awareness leaving her body. There’s no more shame, just that adoring look you aim to see. It’s just you and her. Mommy and baby girl.

“That’s right. You just want to be my perfect little slut, don’t you?”

You watch carefully as Bellatrix gasps, eyes slipping shut as she leans forward. “Yes, Mommy, thank you, Mommy.”

“That’s right, you just sit still and be a good little toy for me.” You hum almost absent-mindedly, reaching to grasp her chin again, turning it this way and that. You appraise her, eyes lingering on her pale throat. Even her neck is beautiful, all exposed skin and deep hollows. “Would you like a collar, darling?” You slowly move your hand as you talk, effectively choking her, though you don’t apply much pressure.

“Oh, Merlin, please, Mommy? Yes, yes,” Bellatrix says, eyes pleading. “I’ll be good.”

“Would you? You want to be my little pet so badly, hmm? I think I’ll arrange for a nice thick collar, a pretty one, too. A dark red, since I know you love that colour so much. What do you think, pet?”

Bellatrix downright whines. She scoots as close as she can, practically sitting on top of your feet. “Please, I want to be your pet, and I want your collar too!”

“Yes, a collar sounds very nice,” you muse. Then you tighten your grip around Bellatrix’s throat a moment later. Her eyes slip shut, her hands reaching to steady herself on your leg. “You’re always my pretty whore that I can use, yes?”

“Always, but can you please touch me now, Mommy? I need you.” She tries a pout again, and although you want to kiss it anyway, you don’t budge.

“I thought you were my toy, though? I don’t recall you having the control here. So be a good little girl and be quiet.”

“But I’m so wet for you, Mommy. I can’t wait any longer.”

You sigh and click your tongue. “Don’t test me again. You’re my pet, remember?”

“Always.”

“But since you want to come so bad …” You cock your head to the side, a smirk forming on your lips.

“Yes, Mommy? I’ll do whatever you say.”

“Anything?”

“Anything.” Her dark eyes are lightened with trust. Complete, absolute trust as she waits patiently for your orders. You could make her do anything, you know that. But you only have one thing in mind.

You extend your shoe, laying it flat on the floor. The confusion that sparks in her eyes is downright adorable. Bellatrix cocks her head to the side, looking very much like a confused pet. “Needy little girls like you don’t deserve my fingers or mouth. If you want to come so bad, you can use my shoe and prove yourself.”

“Mommy?”

In a flash, you lean down, pressing your forehead to hers. Bellatrix’s hands come up around your shoulders, balling your shirt in her fists. She falls silent, taking a moment to breathe as you ask, “Baby? Is everything alright? If you want this to end, you know your safeword.”

“I’m okay, thank you, Mommy. Can we continue, please?”

“Of course, sweet girl.” You press a quick kiss to her forehead before pulling back, falling easily into your role again. “Or should I say, you little brat? I see you, trying to distract me.”

“I didn’t mean to, Mommy. How can I make it up to you?” Bellatrix peers up at you through her eyebrows innocently.

You say nothing, choosing to hold your shoe out again. For the second time today, Bellatrix blushes, a pink hue rising in her cheeks and chest. However, she doesn’t hesitate any longer and straddles your shoe.

It’s the sexiest thing you’ve ever seen. Honestly. She hitches her skirt up, tossing it behind her with a flick of her wrist, never losing her flair for the dramatics. Her hands caress your thighs, slowly coming down to grip the back of your legs. And finally, she lowers herself onto your shoe, an obscene moan escaping her mouth.

“How does it feel, Bella?”

“Fuck. So good. So good, Mommy,” Bellatrix rasps, head tilting towards the ceiling in blissed-out pleasure.

“Watch your mouth, pet.” You slap her cheek lightly, which draws another choked moan from Bellatrix.

“Sorry, Mommy.” Even as she apologies, her hips rock back and forth.

“Yeah? What are you apologizing for?” You make sure to keep your tone casual and airy, though you can’t help but start to tease her. You flex your shoe upward—but only but an inch or two. The cool material presses against her most sensitive area, drawing another whispered swear.

“What did you say?”

“Nothing, Mommy, I’m sorry, please, please—”

“Aww, is my baby too flustered to talk? Be a good girl and tell me what you need.”

“Mommy, please, I can’t, I need you so bad—” Bellatrix shifts again, and when she meets your gaze, you see tears brimming in her eyes.

You frown, wiping a stray one away. While you hate to see her cry under any circumstances, there’s a small sadistic part of you that roars with heat, wanting to see how long she can withstand your (pleasurable) torture. You stay quiet, thinking about the best move before you say, “Oh, darling. You need to cum that badly? Well, alright, honey. You can have a reward.”

“A reward?”

With great debilitation, you raise your shoe all the way, so it’s firmly pressed against her. You don’t hold back. She moans, her hips rocking even more. “Here’s your reward, baby. But I’m not going to do all the work. If you’re not crying and screaming like a little whore for me, then I won’t fuck you again for a while. So you better thank me, pretty girl, and get to work.”

“Oh, Merlin, thank you, thank you so much.”

“I prefer Mommy, baby, but you’re welcome either way.”

You watch with a smug smile as Bellatrix rubs herself all over your shoe. She moves slowly at first but moves quicker and quicker. Little pants and hitched breaths fill the room.

As she keeps chasing her high, you play with one of her curls, twisting it around your finger. “Soon, I’ll find a perfect collar for you, so everyone knows you belong to me. Then I’ll put a tail in your ass, too, baby girl, and have you kneel for me like a good kitten.”

“Oh, Mommy, yes, I’ll be your good kitten. Merlin, please, fuck me, fill me up.” By this point, Bellatrix is fully in her subspace, all tears and whiny begging that make you want to fuck her harder or wrap her up in your arms. But you go with the former and lean forward, your breath brushing her half-lidded eyelids.

“Hold on tight, sweetheart.”

You start moving your shoe again, flexing it, and dragging it back and forth. This time, you don’t give up on the pressure, instead aiming directly for her most sensitive spots. Your shoe grinds against her clit, causing her to moan.

“Look at you, my pretty darling. Making such a mess, rutting all over my shoe like a bitch in heat.”

“Fuck, Mommy, I’m going to come, please?”

“Go ahead, baby.”

Not a second later, she says, “Thank you, Mommy, coming for you, Mommy—”

Bellatrix’s orgasm is a wonder to witness, and you can only stare, like a galaxy is exploding in front of your very eyes. It comes as a trickle at first, minuscule shudders that shake her once, twice. But as she’s urged on by your whispered praises and hands tugging at her hair, her pleasure turns into a river carrying her away—until her orgasm crashes against her again and again, like a tidal wave threatening to drown her, promising to carry her out to sea forever, to never let her come back to shore.

“Mommy, Mommy!” Tears start to spill down her cheeks, but there’s no sadistic jolt this time. That side of you quietly leaves, replaced with the urge to care and protect.

“I know, baby girl, that’s it, you’re alright.” You keep a firm grasp on her shoulders as she shudders the last of her orgasm on her shoe, then tug her up. She crawls into your lap, tucking her head into the crook of your neck, sniffing. “Shh, darling, you did so well. You were so good, my perfect, good girl. I’m so fucking proud of you.”

“Was I really good?” Timid eyes peek at you from between strands of hair.

You smile, reaching to brush a curl away so you can better see her. “You were perfect.”

“Thank you, Mommy. I really liked everything we did.” Bellatrix sniffs again, pressing closer to you.

You chuckle. “I could tell, baby.” You run your hands up and down her spine, feeling the heat radiating off her. All the while, you keep cooing the sweetest praises and words of devotion into her ear.

“Mommy?”

“Yes, pretty girl?”

“Do you think we can try fisting next weekend?”

A true, genuine laugh escapes you. Oh, Bellatrix has the most unique, one-track mind. “Why don’t you rest up for a bit first, okay? We can talk about it later. Just relax now.”

“M’kay, Mommy, I will.”

Tomorrow, next weekend, the future all stretches before you, eager to be shaped by your hand. Anything you might want to do—and the ideas bloom in your mind—you can. But right now, you’re focused on the lovely, needy, flawed soul in your embrace. It’s you and her against the world.

You start to hum and resume rubbing Bellatrix’s back, allowing her to snuggle closer. Her eyes, though sleepily locked onto you, slowly flutter close. You smile indulgently, whispering, “Mommy’s right here, darling. Shh, go to sleep. I’ll be here when you wake up.”

#bellatrix lestrange #bellatrix lestrange x reader #bellatrix x reader #bellatrix black #bellatrix black x reader #bellatrix imagine #not sfw #hogwarts

[sanstropfremir]

What’s your favorite use of props in kpop choreos? Some of mine are the couch in Seventeen’s Pretty U, Dongkiz Lupin (love the way they worked the transition from stick to handkerchief into the choreo), Afterschool’s First Love, Dreamcatcher You and I (similar to Lupin but what can I say I’m big of fan with how Dani twirled that stick), also anytime anyone uses suspenders (Seventeen Aja Nice, Dia Mr. Potter, that one Girls Day song). There’s probably a lot more but those are the ones that come to mind. Honorable mentions: Afterschool Bang cause the drums aren’t actually apart of the dance but that shits still hella impressive and apparently it took them like 6 months to learn it. Also Dreamcatcher Deja Vu but only the outfits with the super long sleeves cause they worked so well with the choreo and seemed like parts of it were designed with the sleeves in mind

oh i love these fun questions!! you covered a few of the ones i was going to say already, namely lupin, first love, and bang. unwittingly you accidentally stumbled into the age old debate of when something is a costume and when something is a prop (and costume props all together) but i'm not going to get into that because it's just silly theatre semantics about who gets blamed when someone misplaces the umbrella. i'm generally grouping them here by 'if the item was intentionally worked into the choreography' as opposed to 'this is a costume choreo' and 'this is a props choreo' because that's too complicated for a tumblr post. anyways. there's actually been a surprising amount of prop work in choreos recently, idk what's going on but i'm not complaining! this was so fun to go hunting for stuff; i think i got a bit carried away but whatever. i sorted them into categories because i'm that kind of weird but here's a not totally comprehensive list!

chaireo

shinee - good evening: obviously has iconic chaireo and it's my favourite choreo of all time (fave choreos post where i wax poetic about it)

vixx - my valentine: the best sexy chaireo

2pm - adtoy: underappreciated in her time but also why did they make baby 2pm do this (i know they weren't babies but it suits post-enlistment 2pm soooo much better)

sf9 - trauma: should have had more chaireo but it does use the chairs in a not-chair way, so it gets creativity points.

furniture in general

got7 - poison: one of the early examples of pandemic steadicam, and bonus points for the fun handkerchieft midair swap

blitzers - hop in: big first year theatre kid energy

hoshi - spider: honestly i'm not sure if this migrates from prop choreography into architectural choreography but no one is going to argue semantics other than maybe me

oneus - black mirror: just an insane choreo in general; it's debatably a hat choreo and not a mirror choreo, but i remember the mirrors more than the hats for some reason.

ateez - take me home: they had no reason to make the choreo for this fuck so hard but they did. impatiently waiting for the day i can see it in high def.

sunmi - gashina: table.

mic stands/canes/umbrellas

shinee - dream girl: again, an icon. the stage i linked is the one where one of the mic stands breaks and they cover it SO flawlessly good luck trying to pick out them covering it up

exo - artificial love: whoreography (minus kyungsoo)

vixx - voodoo doll: which i think still remains the only choreo where the members stab each other

tan - du du du: uses both costuming and a prop!

knk - rain: this is my actual fave prop choreography because the integration is sooooooooo good. everything about it is incredible and whoever at mcountdown had the galaxy brain idea for the lasers do you want to make out. not sorry i buried the lead in here but i like categories better than lists.

fabric/ropes/elastics

taemin - door: is it furniture? is it ropes? who knows at this point

taemin - criminal: taemin bondage again

shinee - tell me what to do: ......taemin bondage again...?

boyfriend - witch: good luck getting 'cos your body goes boom bara boom' out of your head now!

tvxq - something: a fun convergence of ropes AND mics!

onlyoneof - suit dance: uses both their suit jackets and handkerchiefs!

trendz - villain: some surprisingly complicated sequences and i bet you at least one of these boys fell on their face in rehearsal

onlyoneof - libido: the vastly overlooked point about this choreo is that the costume designer jury-rigged a RETRACTABLE TAPE SYSTEM AND STRAPPED IT TO THEIR HANDS

misc items

tvxq - catch me: i don't even know. i couldn't tell you how someone came up with this but it fucks.

oneus - luna: my favourite choreo from 2021.

toppdogg - arario: has more props than you would expect there to be and they are suprisingly well integrated

vixx - shangri la: to be completely honest i don't actually like the choreography of shangri la that much, but people are probably gonna get mad at me if i don't include it here so...... (here's my 2021 fave choreos list if you want details on the luna v shangri la debate)

super junior - burn the floor: the-person-you-dislike-unfortunately-made-some-points.jpg

danger.gif

speed - what u: this shit is bananas.

nct dream - chewing gum: why did you make 15yros do this sm. why.

#kpop questions #kpop dance #i've missed like so many but i have to stop at some point #i LOVE prop choreos #i also could have included tail (there's a chair) and bambi (hat) #truly there have been so many prop choreos this year i didnt even include woodz waiting or elast dark dream #or ANY of kingdom's choreographies they LOVEEEEE props #their debut choreo has a fuckin SWORD in the intro #teen top's lovefool has a whole ass living room if i remember right #there's a whole bunch of jpn releases with props: i think cix has one. nu'est has one #i think cross gene has a choreo where they have light up swords??? #OH MY GOD MISS A HUSH. IM FUCKING STUPID #anyways yea yea i know these are 99% bg choreos i said this wasn't comprehensive #text #answers #if anyone has any more weird questions like this pls send them i love doing this kind of stuff

[boldlyvoid]

Spencer x Reader | social media AU

characters: Spencer, Y/N, Derek, Penelope, Emily, Tara, Matt, Kristy, Luke, Kate and Ethan.

pairings: Derek/Penelope, Matt/Kristy, Emily/Tara, Spencer/Y/N

warnings: college roommates to lovers, slow burn, the reader runs a study aesthetic Instagram, sexual themes and references, sexting, suggestive imagery, angst with a happy ending

16+

Part 6/????

“Spence,” she whispers, not knowing if he’s fallen asleep where he lays on her hip.

“Hmm?”

“I need you to go, I have stuff I need to get done and I can’t do it when you’re with me,” she whispers. “ I really like spending time with you but I can’t afford to lose my scholarship.”

He nods as he sits up, “I’m sorry.”

“No, don’t be sorry,” she places her hands on his cheeks and pulls him in for another kiss. “I wish I met you earlier, when I wasn’t busy so I could spend all my days kissing you.”

“What if we promise to only do school work together during the week, cuddles only after our homework is done and sexy time only on the weekends?” He offers.

It makes her smile, “as long as you don’t mind me using that big brain of yours to get my missed work done on time?”

“Anything for you.”

Permanent tag list:

@g0lden-cth @doctorspenceryeet @samuel-de-champagne-problems @reiding-recs @ssavanessa22 @spookyspence @shemarmooresfedora @spencers-dria@reidsfish @manuosorioh @mochionly @jswessie187 @k-k0129 @blanchardsbk @idonotexiste

Social media au: @ssa-natalya-reid @reidsconverse @big-galaxy-chaos @bakugouswh0r3 @xuckduck

#spencer reid #spencer reid smut #spencer reid fanfiction #spencer reid fanfic #spencer reid imagine #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid x y/n #spencer reid x you #spencer reid self insert #spencer reid request #criminal minds smut #criminal minds imagine #SMAU

[hornime]

CUM IS THICKER THAN WATER | BOKUTO KOUTAROU X GN!READER

warnings: 18+, ACTUAL crack

a/n: sometimes my brain comes up with something and i don't question it because i'm too scared to think about how i came to that idea. this is one of those times.

it'd been a day and a half without water. you'd been wandering aimlessly through the desert—how and why you were there, even you didn't know—desperate for salvation. you prayed to every god: jesus, zeus, ariana grande, even the tiny green frog guy from star wars (who you weren't sure was a god but he talked funny and could fly so he probably was), hoping that one of them would bestow a blessing from the heavens (or a galaxy far, far away) and show you mercy.

but of course, there was no answer.

you were alone in this desolate wasteland, surrounded with nothing but sand and an inevitable future of death. just when you'd lost all hope, an off-key rendition of 'i'm sexy and i know it' echoed across the barren sand dunes, bringing a strange sense of hope to your famished body. someone else was here!

you scrambled forward, running as fast as you could, your limbs reinvigorated with a fuel of optimism that sent your blood pumping wildly throughout your veins. you silently thanked every deity you'd prayed to, especially that little green guy from star wars who you'd remembered was named kermit, while fighting your way through the dusty air and towards that horrible singing.

as you reached the highest peak of the sand dune, your mouth dropped open: right before you was a beautiful man with huge tits pecs, an absolutely jacked chest, and the thickest, juiciest thighs you'd ever seen in your entire life. your eyes bulged as you realized that he was completely naked, his gigantic cock and big breeder balls swaying with every step he took.

he was a tall drink of water. and man, were you thirsty.

"excuse me." you cringed at the raspiness of your voice. it was barely a whisper but it still hurt to speak; it felt as if your throat was made of sandpaper.

somehow, he heard you and turned towards your pitiful excuse of a cry for help. large, golden eyes found yours and he almost blinded you with a big smile. "hey, hey, hey! i'm bokuto! thought i'd see more people at this beach, but its good to know that i'm not the only one here!"

you laughed, but it sounded a lot more like coughing up a hairball. i sure hope this guy is joking.

"why're you laughing?" he bounded up to you, and you realized just how tall he was. big man. you also realized that he wasn't holding anything: no food and no water. what the actual shit. "i'm serious! there's no water for miles!"

okay, so he's not joking. "this isn't a beach," you explained, as patiently as you could. "it's a desert."

he furrowed his eyebrows and pouted; it would've been cute if you weren't literally going to die. "huh, you don't say. no wonder there aren't any lifeguards."

"yeah, mhm," you said dismissively, looking around his body to see if he had a bottle stuck up his ass or something. "so... you got any water?"

"water?" he gave you a look of pure confusion. "why would i bring water to the beach?"

"why wouldn't you—never mind. so you have no water. great." you covered your face with your hands and groaned. "i'm going to die here," you muttered. "i'm going to die here with this stupid, naked guy who—"

a lightbulb suddenly went off in your head. you had a plan.

"don't know why you're calling me stupid when you're the one who asked if i brought water to the beach," bokuto mumbled to himself, waving his hands. "it's a beach! there's already water! now if i'd known this beach was a desert..."

your behavior took a full 360 as you formulated your next steps: you smiled as seductively as you could at bokuto, ignoring the way your dry lips screamed in agony. you gave him a once-over with the sexiest eyes you could manage, and resisted the urge to slap him silly when you saw him still talking to himself, completely ignoring you.

"hey bo," you purred. "your balls look kinda heavy. need some help with them?"

he brought his attention back to you. "dude, i know, right? they're so fucking heavy i just wanna empty them. but there's nothing tight or wet enough for me to get off. and i know you're thinking 'just suck your own dick!'"—you, in fact, were not thinking that—"but it's a lot harder than you think! trust me, i've tried."

you failed to get the thought of him bending over to try and lick his own dick out of your head, but quickly remembered what you were here for. if you couldn't get water, you'd get the next best thing.

"well, i have something tight and wet," you spoke lowly, running a hand over his bare chest.

his eyes widened. "you have a pocket pussy?"

you silently opened and closed your mouth in shock. "uh, no. sorry." you shifted back to your salacious facade. "but i do have a throat."

"damn it," bokuto grumbled. "shoulda brought my pocket pussy." he gave you a side-eyed look and complained just loud enough for you to hear: "who comes to the desert without a pocket pussy?"

you cleared your throat, growing more and more agitated. this was nothing like the pornos you'd seen: this guy was way too dense. "i said, 'i do have a throat.'"

"i don't care if you have a throat or not! i need a pocket pussy!"

"that's it," you growled to yourself, getting onto your knees in front of him. you tilted your head up, your fiery and determined eyes boring holes into his baffled ones. "i'm giving you a blowjob. cum in my mouth."

bokuto was barely able to squeak out an "okay" before you were on him, mouth open wide to guide his shaft in. you'd definitely underestimated his size—he wasn't even halfway in and you were already choking—but you fought the instinct to breathe, desperate to make him cum as fast as possible so you could get some much-need liquid into your system.

you popped his cock out of your mouth and turned to licking at the tip, moaning at the temporary hydration his pre-cum gave you. you lubricated his length with the little saliva you were able to produce before taking him down your throat again.

"fuck," he groaned. "you're really eager, huh? they didn't say anything about sloppy blowjobs in the beach brochure they gave me."

you decided against a snarky response along the lines of "we're not at the beach you absolute idiot", instead continuing to bob your head up and down his cock. your hands traveled up his thighs to fondle his balls, and you hummed in contentment as you felt them tighten under your fingertips.

"oh god, 'm gonna cum," he whined. "gonna cum so hard."

leaning your head back, you whispered a sultry "cum in my mouth" before suckling on his tip, running your tongue along his slit. bokuto let out a high-pitched sound as his abs clenched, streaks of white cum filling your mouth.

you swallowed it greedily, the thick and salty liquid a perverse form of relief—literally the only thing keeping you from dying of dehydration.

"aw man," bokuto panted, coming down from his orgasm. "that made me thirsty." he snapped his fingers and, to your horror, a bottle of water appeared in his hand. he screwed the cap off, throwing it somewhere to the side, before bringing the bottle to his lips and gulping down the liquid.

"what the fuck!" you yelled, outraged, getting to your feet. "you could summon water this whole fucking time?"

he finished the bottle, crumpling it into a small ball of plastic, before snapping his fingers again and making it disappear. "yeah? i'm a god."

you took a deep breath, digging your nails into your palms to avoid actually choking him until he was blue in the face. "so you're telling me you could've just made some fucking water appear? i didn't need to give you a blowjob?"

he looked at you curiously. "...yes? wait, you gave me a blowjob because you were thirsty? you know that balls don't produce water right?"

you scoffed exasperatedly, chest heaving with short breaths. "what the fuck," you whispered to yourself, pulling at your hair like a crazy person. "what the fuck is going on? what the fuck is happening? am i going insane? am i losing my mind?"

"woah, woah, woah." bokuto hesitantly put a palm on your back. "you need water right?" he snapped his fingers, producing a gallon of water. "here, take it! a gift from me to you."

too tired to curse him out for being such an oblivious dumbass, you grabbed the carton and practically inhaled the water, letting it run sloppily over your face and down your body. you felt as if life was returning through your pores.

"thanks."

"no problem!" he smiled, and you figured that you wouldn't kill him for two reasons: one, he was a god apparently, so he wouldn't die. two, he did just save your life. "now, i've got to find where this beach is!" he raised his hand with the intention to snap his fingers.

"wait!" you closed your fingers around his wrist. "could you get me out of here?"

"like, out of this desert?" you nodded your head vigorously. "well sure! why didn't you say so?"

yeah, you through bitterly. why didn't i say so?

#i think i need therapy LMAO #LIKE WHAT WAS THIS #i really had to reach into the cesspools of my brain and i don't think i'll be doing that again #but if anyone has any crack ideas lmk LOL this was fun #bokuto smut #bokuto x reader #bokuto x you #bokuto crack #bokuto #haikyuu crack #haikyuu smut #kinky.inky #i guess

[batarangsoundsdumb]

guess fucking what? my inbox is so fucking full right now i'm unloading all of this shit in one post.

For the 11th gotham memes: gothamites react to bruce being jacked in a tiktok he made with kids, like super yoked, ripped as hell

fucking hilarious thanks. i think i did it in one meme post, but i genuinely don't remember which one

i dunno which of the batfam would do this but one time i was sleeping over at a friends house and ended up on the floor bc the bed was so very small and i just stayed there because the rug was soft

that's a drunk jason move i don't know what to tell you

tim and jason are "i listen to pop punk" solidarity. whenever jason highjacks the batmobile theyll go on long ass car rides blaring mcr and paramore and then never talk about it again

as they should!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! tim: no jason it's my turn using the aux cord i gotta put on my jams jason: don't you dare put on weird shit tim: don't worry, you're gonna love this *plays fearless (taylor's version)

hear me out hear me out, red hood stans 🤝 nightwing stans t h i g h s

holy shit yes.

SNL au: Bruce breaks character when pretending to superman and says something like "I'm not superman! You've seen his gps!! It's from 2001!!!" @sabeanybabe

superman flies past the snl building the next day just to say 'actually it's from 2005, i'm not a heathen'

does your back hurt from carrying the batfam fandom

it hurts more from the exotic rock collection i keep in my backpack, but thanks for the concern.

I love your posts by why would you always leave the best parts in the tags?

as a treat for the people that check the tags ;) (and also because i'm committed to the short post aesthetic)

somehow your playlist was everything i never knew i needed. i mean it. this is my new favorite playlist.

and don't you dare get a new favourite playlist!

babe ur stoner tim playlist is exactly too perfect, earth is literally blessed by ur existence

babe thanks so much! i love my stoner tim playlist because it's just my usual playlist but people think it's an artistic choice that i put taylor swift and britney spears in there, when it's just what i unironically like listening to

JANDKSKDK BILLY RAY CYRUS ON THE STONER TIM PLAYLIST I LOVE IT IT

again it's not even an ironic choice, i know every single word and i genuinely like the song

The last chapter of Fundamentals of Casework has me crying at work. Thanks I love it @dudelookitsalesbian

oh babe, i'm sorry, but also, not sorry i love chapter 4 so much it's my lovechild with the 'mental illness' tag

soooo....stumbled on your tumblr by some stroke of fate??? read your DC fanfic first. which is PHENOMENAL btw. then found all the batmemes; the funniest thing EVER bc everyone forgets about regular old gothamites. kept scrolling and your blog pops up as recommended. clicked on the ao3 for shits and giggles and waddaya know?!?!? it's YOU!!! you're LEGEND!!!! ever seen that meme? it's a video of a cat that got into a baseball field and the two announcers get really invested in his escape attempt and start giving a play by play of the cat instead of the game. memeable moment: "GREAT stuff from the Cat!!!"

i seriously think about this ask every single day and it's so fucking funny to me that i've never seen the meme you're referencing, but i still find myself going 'GREAT stuff from the Cat!!!' whenever i see something funny. but wow i'm glad you liked this steaming pile of garbage

Fav dc character overall? And fav batfamily character?

don't ask me to pick between the loves of my life, but i can tell you i've cried about every single batfamily member and also wally west (my beloved)

What's your opinion on fans having a problem with batfam being "too big"? And some even claim that batfam is just "Bruce Alfred Dick Damian" and the rest of them are just "friends and allies" (source: reddit) Personally, I like batfam because of this reason but idk

stupid. a family can never be too big. i'm not that big a fan of like huge batfam stuff with everybody from every single universe, because as much as it's funny for bruce to have like 30 kids, it just feels a little too OOC for me.

This is the best tag I've seen involving the batfam, thanks for thinking of it

This is canon now @nctxrejects

lmao yeah i think at that point alfred has had to sit through like at least a dozen coming out talks and just has a pride flag collection in the attic that he pulls out whenever a kid comes out

idk why batfam hits different as compared to any other superhero family

bc it's found family and usually the other superhero families are almost all genetically related in one way or another

I don't know if you watch the umbrella academy but I saw your last post about batcest and saw the similarities. But the thing is (although I think it's weird) in TUA, they addressed it by saying "they were raised as weapons, not siblings" or something along those lines, which is simply not the case with batfam.

yeah i watched tua but i also thought it was ridiculous and they still treated each other as siblings so i didn't like the luthor/allison thing, and am glad they stopped doing that shit bc it fucking sucked.

Hot take: Batcest shippers are the same people who believe adopted siblings are not actual siblings

smoking hot take: batcest shippers are the people who watch 'my sister got stuck in the washing machine' porn

Duke was adopted by Bruce?

not technically no, but do i, tumblr user batarangsoundsdumb, look like i care?

True story but I had to change my freaking name because it used to be "Damien" and most people would go "OH LIKE DAMIAN WAYNE" like please I'm just tryna live

true story, but i don't actually think of damian when i hear the name damian, literally the first thing that pops up is damian darkh like bruh what?

apparently dc comics company supported comic stores by giving out new titles and stuff during the beginning of the pandemic to help them run and I just think that's wholesome

ah yeah that's so fucking cool, still don't like dc, the company, because this world is a capitalist hellhole and we're all owned by warner brothers or disney with no in between.

ayo looking at tumblr head canons and finding out bruce is actually a terrible father is a punch in the gut

lmao yes, in like 50% of comics bruce is a terrible father and it gives me whiplash

oooh I just saw the jason todd vs winter soldier post and the real question is: batman vs iron man

while iron man has like hundreds of cases of armor, batman could throw out an emp and have the guy dropping out of the sky in 2 seconds.

dickfast = fastdick = quickdick = quickie

magnum hot take

hey bata(?) just thought I'd let you know I have copied the obnoxious emoji and Billy Ray post for use on simping men going forth

thank you 😘🌷 (@spacebarsidecar)

why would you do that to your followers???? i get why i did it, but why would you???

what is scarecrow made the nightwing funko pop himself, like those diy-ers that paint over other ones

oh god no, horrible take, horrible take, that's a disgusting thought oh no

I see your HC that Bruce and Oliver fucked and raise you this: Dick and Roy ALSO fucked

yes they did and it was a horrible moment for jason to find out dick has fucked both of his best friends

"at this rate bruce adds like 1 child to his family every decade or so" Duke is introduced in 2013, Damian as Damian, not as an unnamed child, in 2006. And he is already 14 years old, Robins rarely remain Robins after 16 😬 It looks like a new Robin and Batkid will appear in a couple of years

i mean i can't wait? but somebody will probably die first tho, we're due for another major character death. my money's on either cass or duke this time.

BRO you're so right all of your Bruce's ex headcanons are amazing but they aren't ships, that's kinda wild. Like I don't want any peeks into how their relationship was I just want to see everyone make fun of them

lmao YES it's just i love bruce being a slut, like good for him.

I am in love with your posts your honour thank you

omg thanks are we like,, gonna kiss now?

The justice league needs to have a meeting to discuss how many of their members/partners have slept with bruce. Because through a combination of cannon & fannon (if DC wasn’t homophobic) we have AT LEAST: 1) clark 2) lois 3) oliver 4) dinah 5) john

Thats not counting villains or random civilians @dudelookitsalesbian

yes yes yes, they'll have a yearly meeting about how many of their collective exes could be out for revenge and batman's list just keeps getting longer.

tim was like "i'm drake now" and everyone was like ahh so your fursona is a dragon and tim was like pffffft no. ducks.

and what about it?

when steph's fighting livewire and she zaps her with lighting and nothing happens and then they both just. stand there awkwardly for a second and talk. yeah i couldn't stop laughing at that batgirl steph is the BEST

oh yeah that was fucking hilarious and i think it would be so cool and sexy of dc to give steph a little comic series,,, as a treat

Hi I absolutely adore all of yours "Bruce and Oliver very badly pretending they didn't fuck each other" memes

lmao i do too

I need you to know that “Bruce Wayne had frosted tips” is one of my favorite Bruce takes of all time it’s so galaxy brained. you’re right and you should say it

he also painted his hair blonde once when he was travelling and in conclusion, this is why he's being blackmailed by the gotham gazette.

you know my thing about gordon being branded as the only good cop in gotham is its a load of shit like arguably he's a good person and not working to screw people over or anything but the fact that he also works w. batman makes him a shit cop. like yea batman is better than the mob but its still illegal its still an abuse of power he just not making bank

babe, all cops are bad cops. (but yeah youre absolutely right, working with vigilantes makes you a shit cop, but also working against vigilantes just makes you an asshole cop yanno?)

ruh roh i think i’m about to add “so not yeehaw” every time i don’t like something

that's a very good vocabulary upgrade

somehow i feel like steph already knew. like babs obviously knew but i feel like bruce got high/drunk in front of steph and started telling his boarding school stories and steph was just like “oh you fucked up i’m never gonna forget this”

steph and bruce have weird uncle/rebellious niece dynamic and they just hang out sometimes and bruce will be like 'i once broke my arm when i tripped over a hedge when i was drunk so oliver drove me to the hospital on an electric scooter' and steph will just have to sit there with that knowledge in her head.

Hello I just wanted to tell you you are So right in all your steph opinions bc she is, in fact amazing and I think that's very sexy of you. Ps. Your Bruce/Oliver fic is hilarious

babe, thank you so much and yes steph is amazing and i love her and she deserves the world and she's the best member of the batfam hands down. also thanks

In Supersons we see a couple of kids that are implied to be Damian and Jon's children and the boy has laser eyes and can fly, so I asume he's not adopted. The girl, who calls Bruce grandpa, can also fly, btw. So it's canon (probably by accident) that Jon can have kids and he must have married one of Bruce's kids. (I'm hoping for Damian, mostly because any other of his children would be waaaaaaaaaaaaay too old.) @artemisa97

lmao that was probably an accident seeing as jon is a 17 year old superhero in the year 3000 (by the jonas brothers)

You know, I'm a die hard fan of your memes, but I gotta say one thing: if Gothamites actually took gas mask everywhere with them, then the Scarecrow would just be a weird dude in a weird costume, and not a villain oh so scary. DC really should just takes notes from you.

bold of you to assume there's no gothamite anti-maskers

How does it feel being the funniest person on this app?

horrible, next question.

I can't listen to Green Day or Billy Joel without thinking of your post about how Bruce got arrested at a Billy Joel concert @nightwings-kid

yeah that's your mistake, i on the other hand can't enjoy billy joel without thinking about the glee rendition of 'uptown girl'

I've FINALLY been watching the Batman animated series and I gotta say, after watching "the gray ghost" I am CONVINCED that Batman is a closeted super hero geek who was 100% freaking out the first time he met Superman and is just REALLY good at hiding it.

superman: so what do you do in your free time? batman, thinking about the superman fanfiction he's writing on the batcomputer: i have no free time

bruce and oliver be like boyfriends to co-workers 401k (do the justice leagues get 401ks??? not that bruce and ollie would need them, but-)

lmao yes just 400 thousand words of bruce realising 'oh dip oliver is such a fucking dumbass' (also i don't know what a 401 k is but i assume they don't?)

Gothamites would totally boo superman as he saves Gotham while batman is out. @meenje

he's like 'okay think about that next time you want to be saved from an alien octopus'

I just took long break from dc comics and I come back to see ric grayson ??

i think it's very cool and sexy of dc to see dick and just think 'you know what? let's just give him a traumatic brain injury' and then didn't develop his character in any real way

SPEAKING OF RIC GRAYSON, gothamites making confused memes out of ric grayson is much needed

'dick grayson is my taxi driver? can anyone explain what the fuck happened he looks like an italian plumber?'

i hate to say it but batfam are def "marvel characters" in that sense they are characters who are human but become superheroes unlike most dc characters who are gods trying to be human maybe this is why I like batfam

fair enough

#this is only like half of it #but at least you can get like a few answers #yanno fuck it #bataranswers #ask #asks #anon