he will use every chance he gets to be a drama queen and if he doesnt have one he will create one
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i love graffiti. "comics and jazz are the only american art forms" you forgot graffiti. did you remember graffiti? That art form birthed in Philly and NYC in the early 70s by poor Black kids. that art form that spread all over the world and influenced so many. that's used without irony in commercials when they're trying to appeal to a "young urban" customer.
did you forget graffiti? that racism broken windows theory victim? that reach the establishment takes claiming that it's exclusively violent gang members throwing up those full-color pieces and wildstyle tags in the middle of the night outsmarting fifty security cameras because the billboard was ugly anyway. as if, even if it was, it wouldn't be impressive as all hell. risking brutality and fall damage so your art can occupy the space a gentrified condo named something like "Coluumna" took away from you. proving that despite only assholes affording to live here anymore there's still a soul beneath it. an animal with dripping stripes and teeth that go clack-clack tsssss
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good news, ive discovered that the maximum dick size in skyrim as per racemenu sliders is somewhere around the distance between riften and solitude, plus a few more hundred or so miles. give or take a little bit for going well beyond the draw distance
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the funniest part of any Robin meeting the JL is that every Robin is so distinctly different from the previous one in terms of personality and vibes that the league literally gets backlash. and like, I don't blame them. not to mention that they are non-meta children that dress as a traffic light and fight crime alongside batman in gotham on a nightly basis. i'd also be a bit concerned.
Batman, literally The Night of Gotham personified in the League's eyes, coming into a JL meeting: This is Robin, my crime-fighting partner.
11-year-old Dick Grayson, dressed in the brightest primary colours possible, vaguely hidden murder behind those eyes, never stops moving even for a moment: Hi!
Superman: That's a child. That's-- Bats that is a child. You let a child--?
Batman, deadpan: You try to stop him. Would you rather he try and murder a grown man with a wire?
Batman: This is Robin.
12-year-old Jason Todd, with the biggest grin on his face, about 3 books in his hand, stars in his eyes and a distinct street-kid drawl: Hey!!!
Green Lantern: That's ... that's a different child. What??
Jason: I stole his tires :)
Batman: Tried to.
Jason, stage whispering to the League: basically did.
Green Lantern: that is a different kid, right?? I'm not seeing shit??
Batman: This is Robin.
14-year-old Tim Drake, bo staff clutched in his hand, a wary and tired expression on his face, more on the quiet side, the literal walking definition of don't judge a book by it's cover: hello
Flash: Where do you even find these--
Tim: I found myself.
Batman: This is Robin.
17-year-old Stephanie Brown, literally blonde, with a shit-eating grin, eyes full of nothing but mischief and the most explosive personality you've ever seen: hiya!!
Superman: I give up.
Stephanie: I know, I have that amazing effect on people.
Batman: This is Robin.
13-year-old Damian Wayne, a literal wet cat that will hiss at you, has a sword, the most judgemental stare you'll get from a teenager, ready to jump anyone there:
Green Lantern: WHY DOES HE HAVE A SWORD?!
Batman: ... he came with the sword.
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I like to think that Vulcans who come to understand that Humans just can’t try to process emotions the same way as them, it’s just healthiest to let it out in harmless ways, decide that venting and stuff should be taken just as seriously as Vulcan’s meditation time, and will encourage the Humans around them to complain about what’s upsetting them
People who are used to aloof Vulcans who avoid Humans at all cost running into one comforting a Human
“-and then they said my cheesecake was subpar, and they didn’t even bring a dish!!!”
“The purpose of this event was that every participant brings a food item of sorts, correct?”
“Yeah!!”
“And they did not follow this rule while insulting dishes that were brought?”
“Mostly just my dish but yeah >:(“
“How illogical”
“That’s what I’m saying!!!”
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Another reason why I’m a firm believer in letting Bruce get old is because the idea of him looking and his dark haired children without his glasses on and genuinely not being able to tell them apart is unparalleled
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I think overall we are not fully utilizing Tim Drake's origin as a weird super hero fanboy/stalker for it's full comedic potential.
Jason talking about his Robin days: The look on that guy's face when he was beaten by child. I wish I had a picture.
Tim: I do.
Jason: You what?
Tim: have a picture.
Jason: ....
Tim: Would you like to see?
Jason:.... yes.
Dick over the phone: can you pick something up from Titans tower for me? I'm really busy. It's in the vault the password is ********.
Tim: You haven't changed it in 5 years? That's terrible security!
Dick: ...I didn't know you 5 years ago??
Tim: You also put the code in in plain view of the window. You should really pull the blinds down.
Dick: After you get that can you please get therapy?
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Dick and Jason's responses are the only correct ones
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inspired by this post, in which Damian does not know what Vine is
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Alfred: Injury report?
26-year-old Bruce: All the blood is on the inside?
Alfred:
Some years down the road
Bruce: Injury report?
Tim: I left no DNA behind.
Cass: I can still beat the rest of you.
Jason: Haven’t died again.
Dick: No bones are visible from the outside.
Damian: I won.
Duke: I think I discovered a new power.
Steph: You’re not my dad.
Bruce:
Bruce:
Alfred: And how *is* Karma doing today, Master Bruce?
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Dick visiting Damian (serial-sibling-sweater-stealer 😔)
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i think one of my favourite parts about the "Jason has an army of kids in Crime Alley that will do anything to protect their protector" HC is that they absolutely would inherit all of his 'little shit' traits. they'd throw the other Bats off course on purpose.
Dick, trying to find Jay: Have you seen Hood, by any chance?
Kid: Sure I did. 'e's gone to the ice-cream store down in th'Narrows. He buys us ice-cream, sometimes.
Dick: okay, thanks kid! (backflips away)
Dick:
Dick: there's no ice-cream store near the Narrows.
Tim, just walking by Crime Alley:
The kids, throwing rocks at him while Jason watches in amusement:
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"The media wouldn't like Damian." Are you kidding me, the media would LOVE Damian whether he's Robin or Damian Wayne.
This tiny, angry new Robin has a SWORD and uses words that most people don't think exist or even say. People overhear him just insulting Batman right to his face (as is every and any Robin's right) about like, his moves and how Robin could probably do it better. Mr. "My grandmother makes better death traps than you."
And Damian Wayne? The media, and anyone else for that matter, try to catch even a snippet of his retorts to the press or his family. A video goes viral of like, Dick recording Damian and Tim, it's a close-up of Damian's face as he says, "Timothy, if I were to wake up in another universe where you weren't born, I'd cry." There's a heartfelt 'Aww' from Dick, who gets a front row to Damian's next sentence, "Out of happiness that you aren't in my life." It BLOWS up.
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