i was a trans man until after a lot of build up of doubting myself, i finally realized that we are putting ourselves further into boxes by not accepting that we are the biological sex that we are and we can do WHATEVER we want at the same time.
clothes and makeup and certain interests do not equal gender.
and not liking being a woman is an unfortunately natural symptom of puberty and/or experiencing society’s deeply ingrained misogyny. and everyone deserves support for those problems.
but we can all fight together against gender social constructs in a healthy way without prescribing people hormones and invasive cosmetic surgery to make them more like the sex they “should” be according to… social constructs…. and help them be comfortable in who they are
Alright. Its been like 9 fucking months that I have been staring down this ask. What better time than to give TERFs some nuance than right in the middle of a fucking hate campaign going on where people (well... singular person probably) are calling me a TERF. This wont backfire.
This post arrived in my inbox shortly after I made another post about gender, and just how fucking weird it can be, and how I genuinely believed every single person on this planet has a fascinating relationship with gender, and so much nuance and personal identity in theirs. Even cis people. Even TERFs. In the tags, I even begrudgingly encouraged TERFs to talk about their gender on that post if they wanted. I genuinely think that TERFs do have really cool relationships with gender. As I mentioned in those tags, the quickest way to explode a group of TERFs is to get them to start talking about their own relationships with gender, and see how vastly different it is, and watching them stab each other in the back over it. So I told them to ramble away about how they view gender, as long as they stayed the fuck away from the rest of the blog WHICH THIS ANON CLEARLY FUCKING IGNORED.
But... this anon does bring up another topic I want to talk about.
Detransition.
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I am a huge supporter of detransitioning. This is... surprisingly... not a very common stance in the trans community, and it breaks my fucking heart. Like, I get it. I understand why. A LOT of detransitioners, like the person in this ask, end up weaponizing their feelings of gender against other trans people.
My support of transition comes from the intersection of two very central beliefs of mine:
Everyone should explore their gender without feeling a need to commit! This is a pretty common belief in the trans community! Damn near universal in fact! We even have a fun little term we use for people who decide to play around with gender, only to end up a bit closer to where they started and being perfectly happy with that: Cis+. Someone who is cis, but at least put in the work to understand the trans experience, and actually CHOOSE to remain Cis instead of just defaulting to it with societal pressure. Many trans people are much more comfortable around 'Cis+' people, because they know these are people who have taken the time and put in the work of being an ally. Self examination isn't easy, especially not publicly, and doing so is genuinely one of the strongest ways a Cis person could ever show their support.
It is never too late to transition. This is also a pretty common belief in the trans community! It is... sadly not quite as universal though. But it is something very important that needs to be said. You could be 80 years old, sitting in a retirement home, and go "You know what? I think I'd rather wear a dress and be treated like a lady. I don't want to be buried as a man." And I think every single trans person should have that freedom!
I was discussing this with @thydungeongal the other day, far more paraphrased than this post, and she said something incredible that has been knocking around in my head ever since.
"Gender is an ongoing process"
Those five words they said to me sum up my feelings far more than this entire post could. Gender IS an ongoing process. My gender has changed SO MUCH over the past three decades. From the straightjacket of assigned gender that I was once forced into; to the very stylish and still lovable finely tailored suit of femininity that grew a little too stuffy to wear constantly, even though I do still enjoy it and try it on from time to time; to the wonderful and freeing losely fitting clothing of being aegogender, finally feeling free to be myself and just act naturally and feel natural without having to keep up an appearance!
And I think, there is no length of time you can try out being trans, and trying out new genders, before eventually coming to the realization you were cis all along. Even if you started HRT. Even if you got SRS. Heck, I don't even think you should have to call yourself trans to do either of those things in the first place, why would I be upset that someone did them and then realized they weren't trans? No single moment in your life should EVER lock your gender in place into some unchanging, set in stone thing.
So I support detransitioners completely, with my entire heart. They deserve just as much support as every other 'Cis+' person out there.
So anon, while many people may hate you and lash out at you for detransitioning, I want you to know, that I am not one of them. It sounds like your detransition might have been forced by peer pressure, which is heart breaking to hear. No one should ever force their own gender expectations on another. I hope that wasn't the case. I hope you came to the decision yourself, after realizing whats right for you. I will never give you hate for your detransition.
I WILL ABSOLUTELY GIVE YOU HATE FOR BEING A FUCKING TERF THOUGH. YOUR OWN EXPERIENCE WITH GENDER DOES NOT GIVE YOU THE RIGHT TO POLICE THE GENDER OF OTHERS, FUCK OFF. GET THE FUCK OFF MY BLOG, YOU PIECE OF SHIT!
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people just consistently have no concept of what goes into the art they see! like I follow a lot of artists whose jewelry is more in line with your description of what goes into your blankets than your earrings in terms of materials and time (I'm talking like painstakingly hand-beaded earrings with antique beads and precious metal findings, backed with hide that they smoked themselves) and they also get people commenting on their prices being too high :(((
yuuup
i mean time-wise it still wouldn't be that much longer. i also hand-bead details on some earrings and stuff it's still not like... a massively time consuming process or anything. blankets take 100+ hours. this choker took me 30 minutes. the necklace only a little longer, despite all the bead connecting going on there
but the materials cost of using. well. high quality materials is what gets you
there's a reason i use metal alloys and glass beads instead of sterling silver and real stone beads, and that reason is "i do not want to pay for sterling silver and real stones that shit is expensive"
(smoking hides also probably takes longer? although i feel like most of that process would be "waiting")
which is again a double sided issue of "undercharging for precious metals/stones/beads" and "overcharging for metal alloy and plastic" that made a clusterfuck baby somewhere in the middle
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“Today I’m worrying about catastrophic ecosystem collapse. What if it gets just a little too hot or a little too acidic a little too fast in the ocean, and some important keystone species goes extinct and it fucks up the nitrogen cycle or oceanic oxygen production or kills off all the fish and the whole of Earth’s ecosystem just goes kaput then and there? Very concerning.” Don’t worry about it, nothing bad will happen if an important species goes extinct. Sub-Saharan Africans and Hispanics will simply fulfill the role that that old species used to fill, and they’ll do it for a lot cheaper
Human ethnic groups do not fill ecological niches the way species do. At least, they don't unless a given society has forced them into that role. There are certainly societies where a given ethnic group, or other type of social group, is relied on for (and thereby often coerced into) a specific kind of labor—see the burakumin in Japan. But these situations are socially constructed. It doesn't actually need to be burakumin doing meat processing, anybody could do that!
In ecosystems, organisms are generally hyper-specialized for a particular niche. This is what makes the loss of an organism so potentially devastating. Ecosystems are delicately balanced towers that rely on each species doing its job. In human society, the appropriate analogy is professions, not ethnic groups.
This would be obvious, frankly, upon any contemplation at all. Your implicit assertion ("if we allow widespread immigration, white people will go extinct, which will cause a catastrophic collapse of human society") is ludicrous on the face of it; it relies on a strained analogy that doesn't take the specifics of either situation into account. It is nonsense designed to prop up your agenda, not reasoned argument.
And, once again, I will clarify that I have no desire to eliminate white people! I just don't want to restrict human freedom en masse in order to preserve whiteness or whatever, because that is very silly.
Finally, it's worth noting that as far as I can tell, white people aren't even in any danger of "going extinct". Like, they're not a threatened group! This is all purely hypothetical on your part! It's nonsense!
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