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#you broke my heart
cosmic-connor · 3 hours ago
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OH i hope my auditory issues don’t get in the way of my musical dreams
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#ive listened to cast recordings of the spongebob musical an absurd amount of times#but like. i switched the headphones again and surprise!!! you werent hearing all of it!!!! arghgjldgjgjsd#i mean if Beethoven can do that shit deaf i'll be fine but u kno#i have a weird irrational feeling that i hear myself wrong somehow and im just factually wrong when i think i sound good#bc i was always TOLD i was okay just. not good enough. like okay if im good why did no one ever want me to sing?#lol idk im overthinking#prolly has something to do with my parents never showing up to my concerts as a kid#id scan the isles over and over and itd just break my heart every time#either that or them dropping me off and leaving EARLY and thinking i dont notice!!!!!#they did that once and then left me at the middle school for two hours bc my phone sim card broke or smth#so i couldnt text anyone that it was over and for them to come get me#yeah. yeah. that and the combination of perfectionist teachers always casting me to the wayside probably gave me Issues#like its probably just my school bc we have the biggest high school music program in the state#when it comes to public schools at least so like. the best music program in NEW YORK. yeah#like of course i never stood a chance against kids who had this planned out since they were born!#the girl who always beat me for solos had a fucking AGENT. A TALENT AGENT. AT TWELVE YEARS OLD!#like okay i get it that she's better but its fucking middle school you cant toss me one part? she's gonna be singing as a CAREER#she doesnt need the middle school solo to prove herself all it does is show everyone else how inferior they are :\#or even a high school one. even tho high school was cutthroat as FUCK#my teacher thought she was simon fucking cowell or some shit she'd yell in your face#i went to try out for a solo once during lunch and i opened the door timidly like is this where the solos are?#and so she goes yes are you here to try out? and i stammered like uh maybe yes#and she was like if youre not serious GET OUT! and it made me run away crying#some ppl love crushing kids dreams huh#wow actually that seems to be a really reoccurring theme now that i think of it#i cried after nearly every audition for various reasons#ok ok ok shhh connor it good.#like. i have a mentality i hate that if you werent prepped from day one to be a star youll never do anything musically#and i dont believe in it at all especially with my art but like. for some reason its a surviving insecurity of mine#sorry for all the posts like this ive just been thinking about it constantly... i dont want to sound pretentious talking about it
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alphameal · 6 hours ago
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y'all remember buffy and angel at the skating rink together and how his face got all GRRR vampy features and buffy didn't let him shy away and still kisses him even with vamp fangs?
someone love scott even when he's a hairy monster with canines and glowing eyes. 🥺
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notrustbaby · 6 hours ago
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How do i know if someone okes to me about their feelings?
That is something i would never be able to do
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saturnchild1 · 7 hours ago
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I didn’t want to start over with someone new. I just wanted you to get your shit together. I loved you then and I love you now
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the-z-part · 9 hours ago
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DAMES AND DRAGONS SPOILERS
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Can you believe I called this in 2019??? I'm still reeling
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catrasheadband · 21 hours ago
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I love telling landlords in the most benign possible way that I don’t ‘agree’ with landlording and that I think it’s inherently unethical... they always just lose their gd minds
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draken-rox · a day ago
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U rlly notice sum shit was wrong with the relationship when I post heartbreak vents (on my close friends obs) and he shares "ideal date ideas" smh
Like literally a week or two after th breakup lmao
It wasn't that he didn't wanna do any lovely relationship shit at all, it was just that he didn't wanna do it with me, aight.
Four fkn years of my love and time and effort into the fucking trash all for nothing and a week later it's like nothing even happened between us for him, give me back my fucking 3ds rn istg
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cant-face-the-dark · a day ago
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When I love someone,
I forget to love myself.
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pastel-moreid · a day ago
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Criminal minds is like hey every season we will have at least one episode where we make you sympathetic to the unsub and it will wreck you
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saturnchild1 · 2 days ago
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your green eyes will always make my foolish heart skip a beat
to the stars and never back you will have a place in my heart that no one else could take
I know these are just words of a person that’s not part of your life anymore, and I know you said your feelings for me changed
but all I can do right now is to continue to love you, ‘cause baby your love was like heaven for a fallen angel like me
you gave me hope again and I’ll be damned if I’ll ever hate you
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