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#you can always tell when I’m on a long train ride bc I’m bored and just answer ask the entire time 🥰
flodaya · 3 years
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okay but the support is honestly just making me all mush-y on the inside, thank you, you guys are the best 🥺 I really want to, the idea of just talking about skam and druck and other (sapphic) shows and movies and books makes me happy but I’m also just socially anxious but I see what I can do
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stranger-nightmare · 2 years
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𝐈𝐦𝐩𝐞𝐜𝐜𝐚𝐛𝐥𝐞 𝐓𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞
Mini Drabble
Pairing: Matt Murdock x (gender neutral) Reader
Summary: you test the extent of Matt’s hearing abilities
Warnings: none, it’s fluffy
A/N: this fic mentions reader’s ‘favourite band’, I’ve used Imagine Dragons bc they’re my favourite but feel free to just replace it with whomever is your fave! This is just a tiny lil drabble, I literally came up with it on the spot and wrote it in like 20 minutes, but yeah its cute and fun and I hope you like it!🖤💫✨
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You and Matt were on the train, on your way back from a date night in town. You took your seats, the carriage barley full, only four other people surrounding you. You settle next to Matt, your eyes trained out the window. It’s a long ride home and eventually you get bored, deciding to have a little fun with Matt.
“Babe” you murmur softly into the silence of the train.
“Hmm?”
“Can I ask you something? Well it’s more like a lil fun game really, I’m just curious” you ramble.
“Mmm I’m intrigued” he muses, his lips curving into a smile.
“So nearly everyone around us has got headphones on, but I assume you knew that already?” You shove Matt’s shoulder playfully.
He laughs lightly before answer.
“I did, yes."
“Okay but can you tell what they’re listening to?” You tease, an eyebrow raised.
Matt sighs softly before answering, his smile growing.
“Well, that guy,” his head turns just to your left, “is listening to an incredibly misogynistic podcast.”
You grunt a sound of disapproval.
“Behind me someone is listening to Queen” he smiles lightly. “That guy,” he snorts softly, nodding his head to the very back of the carriage. “Well, he's just watching porn.”
“Oh lovely” you cringe sarcastically.
“And finally, over there” he title his head towards the woman sat adjacent and slightly behind the two of you. “They’re listening to your favourite” he smiles again.
“Imagine Dragons?”
“Mhmm” he confirms.
“Huh, a woman of impeccable taste I see” you smile to yourself whilst covertly looking her way.
Then your eyes narrow slightly.
“Well clearly she has good taste seeing how she’s so boldly checking you out” you muse with a flat tone.
“Oh?” Matt answers.
“Yeah, if only you could see the way she’s looking at you” you almost seethe.
“I did wonder why her heart rate had increased slightly” Matt smirks.
“Oh yeah?” You cock your head to the side, looking back at Matt. “Well how much does her heart rate rise when I do this?” You taunt before slipping your hand around the back of his neck.
You pull him down, angling his mouth towards your own before your lips find his. Your lips move in sync like they always do, like they’d known each other for years, which indeed they had. You smirk against Matt’s lips as he groans lightly when you pull the hair at the nape of his neck. You knew the woman wouldn’t have heard it but you still found satisfaction within yourself at being able to extract that kind of noise from him.
You pull back just an inch so you can murmur against his lips, still keeping him in place with your hand around the back of his neck.
“How’s her heart rate now?” You taunt.
“She’s thoroughly flustered and annoyed” he smiles bashfully.
“Good” you smirk before pulling his mouth back to yours.
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Join My Taglist // Join My Hive // Ko-Fi
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Taglist: @ratcatcher2world @rosie-posie08 @dreamcatcher121 @justifymyfeelings @bookfrog242 @hybrid-in-progress @captainrexstan @nikkitc0703 @dopeqff @thelightinmyshadows @stardust-galaxies @wannabevampire @minxsblog @murdicks @ellabellabus07 @falcvns @weasleytwinscumslut @spideytrxsh @zabblegrabble @johnollyscowjuice @inpraizeof @thriaes @mushroomlupin @galaxysgal @redroomproperty @murdzck @underoos-shield @ronaldmcdonaldfucker @bcriss11 @rintheemolion @hisdoll107 @rafecameronswhore @m1sery-busin3ss @c4psicle
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junghelioseok · 4 years
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clandestine. | 01
↳ forbidden fruit tastes the sweetest.
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◇ jungkook x reader ◇ smut | fluff | brother’s best friend!au ◇ 10.3k [1/6]
notes: this fic was originally going to be a oneshot, but i changed my mind and decided i didn’t want to kill tumblr with a totally unnecessary 50k jk fic so 🤷🏻‍♀️ here is part one of a fic that 100% only came about because @puellaigmotum​ coerced me into it like 2 years ago (lmao rip 💀) and also bc i have zero self-control and am hopelessly h*rny for jungkook these days and don’t look at me i don’t wanna talk about it okay??? 🙈
warnings: jk’s massive noona kink, some ~under the table~ action, too much detail about jk’s dumb veiny arms probably, but at least he doesn’t have tattoos bc i started writing this before he got them and i don’t need to torture myself anymore than i already do!!!
⇢ 01 | 02 | 03 | 04 | 05 | 06 
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It’s always been easy to spot your brother in a crowd. Passengers flood off the train, jostling around you on their way to the station’s exit, but even in the swarm you can perfectly see Jimin’s golden head of hair bobbing its way toward you, a deep scowl etched across his face. “You’re late,” he says in lieu of a greeting, his honey brown eyes raking over your scuffed suitcase distastefully as he comes to a stop a few feet away.
“And you’re just as impatient as ever,” you retort, coming to a stop before him with your luggage in tow. “Think you can lord it over me since you can drive now?”
“Don’t forget that I’m your ride home,” Jimin scoffs, rolling his eyes. “I could just as easily leave you here to fend for yourself.”
“You wouldn’t dare,” you tell him, raising a brow in silent challenge.
Jimin stares down at you unflinchingly, and you stare right back. The tension stretches between you, taut and heavy, until every passing second feels like a light year. Around you, the crowd slowly dissipates, but still you remain—two motionless statues locked in a wordless struggle. From somewhere overhead, a monotone voice announces the next train departure times.
Jimin’s mouth twitches. You blink, twice in quick succession.
And then your little brother breaks into a grin—one that’s so wide you fear his mouth may detach from his face entirely. An answering smile settles across your face as you watch him throw his head back, dissolving into laughter that you can’t help but echo.
“Damn it, Chim!” you say, instinctively grabbing onto his wrist when it looks like he might fall over. “Your poker face still sucks.”
“I’ve gotten better!” Jimin immediately defends. “I mean, you’ve got to admit that, right?”
“Nope.” You sigh and hold a hand over your head so you can measure your height against his ever-so-slightly taller frame. “Same old annoying kid I grew up with. Seriously, have you grown at all in the past year?”
“Whoa, too far, Noona.” Jimin takes ahold of both of your cheeks, pinching them affectionately. “You’re only a year older than me, you know. Besides, I’ve been taller than you for two years now!”
“I’m pretty sure hitting puberty at age seventeen isn’t something to be proud of,” you reply, pulling away from him with a mock grimace and giggling when he lets out an offended squeak. Playfully, you reach up to ruffle his hair, scrubbing your knuckles just a little too roughly against his skull.
“Noonaaa,” he complains, drawing out the last syllable until he runs out of air. “Jeez, you haven’t even been back for an hour yet and you’re already being mean to me. When do you go back to Seoul again?”
“Three weeks,” you reply, narrowing your eyes. “But I can and will make these three weeks hell for you. Don’t test me.”
Jimin snickers and drapes his arm over your shoulders. He picks up your suitcase with the other hand, and you thank him with another, gentler hair ruffle as the two of you start toward the exit of the train station. “College hasn’t changed you one bit.”
“And senior year hasn’t changed you,” you say, letting him guide you outside and breathing in the balmy summer evening air. Jimin’s brow furrows as he tries to remember where he’s parked, and you kindly take your suitcase back when he nods decisively and heads toward the left side of the lot. “You excited to graduate?”
He sighs, fumbling in his pocket for the keys as the two of you approach the car. “It’s going to suck. Your ceremony was boring as hell last year.”
“Wow, rude.”
Jimin looks up from where he’s unlocking the driver’s side door. “Am I wrong, though?”
You flash him a grin as he unlocks the remaining doors, heaving your suitcase into the backseat before sliding into the passenger seat beside him. “Nope. But afterward, you’ll be done with high school forever.”
“Thank god.” Your brother rakes a hand through his hair, mussing it further as he carefully starts the ignition and checks his mirrors with all the diligence of a new driver. Once satisfied, he pulls out of the parking space, meandering his way out of the lot and onto the main street.
The ride back to your childhood home is a short one, full of familiar storefronts and landmarks that dredge up all sorts of fond memories. You hadn’t expected your first year of university—away from your family and your hometown—to make you quite so emotional. But before you know it, Jimin is making the turn into your neighborhood, and you can’t stop the way your eyes begin to well up when you see your house in the distance.
As if reading your mind, Jimin glances at you as he pulls into the driveway. “Feel good to be home?”
You nod, blinking back tears. “Feels great.”
He grins. Pulling the key from the ignition, he climbs out of the car and grabs your suitcase, waving for you to head inside. Eagerly, you start toward the front door, but you barely make it halfway up the driveway when it bursts open, revealing your father standing there with open arms and an enormous grin. He’s just as tall as you remember, and looks exactly the same save a few more strands of silver lacing his hair. All of a sudden, you’re a little girl again, running up to give him a hug and giggling madly when he tries to scoop you up like he used to do so many years ago.
“Hi Dad,” you greet when he gives up and sets you back down on two feet. “Where’s Mom?”
“Cooking up a storm,” he replies, chortling. Wrapping an arm around your shoulders, he leads you into the kitchen where your mother is hunched over the stove with a spatula, delicious aromas wafting up from the array of pots and pans in front of her. “Honey, look who’s home!”
“Hi Mom,” you say, grinning when she whirls around, startled. The spatula, still dangling loosely from her hand, drips sauce onto the tiled floor, but she barely notices in her eagerness to give you a hug, throwing it down into one of the simmering pots and striding forward to wrap you up in a tight embrace.
“How was your trip?” she asks, pulling back and angling your face this way and that. “Did you sleep on the ride? Did Jimin drive safely?”
The last question draws a protesting whine from your brother, who has lugged your suitcase over the threshold and is now seated at the dining table, fiddling with a spoon. “My driving was fine, right Noona?” he says, his bottom lip jutting out into a pout.
“Yes, Chim,” you agree, laughing at the pleased expression that overtakes his face. Curiously, you walk over to the stove to inspect the food, your jaw dropping as you take in the assorted vegetables and meats. “Wow, Mom. Are you cooking for an army?”
“Jungkook is coming over for dinner,” she explains, following you over and plucking up the spatula again. “That boy has the biggest appetite I’ve ever seen—you remember, right?”
You laugh. “Of course I remember. He and Jimin were always stealing bites of my lunch at school.” Peering over at your brother, you fix him with a mock glare before walking over to the cutting board on the counter and sizing up the pile of onions and peppers sitting there. “It’ll be nice to see him again, though. How is he doing?”
To your surprise, a new voice answers your question—a voice that somehow manages to be simultaneously familiar and foreign. “Why don’t you ask me directly, Noona?” it says, and you whirl around, wide-eyed, to face the newcomer.
This can’t possibly be Jeon Jungkook, is your first thought upon seeing the young man standing in the kitchen doorway. The Jungkook you knew in high school was a scrawny kid—all gangly limbs and a nose that was too big for his face. The Jungkook you knew wore oversized white t-shirts that made him look even younger than he was, a look that was only enhanced by round wire-rimmed glasses that always gave him a look of permanent astonishment. The Jungkook you knew was nowhere near this tall, and definitely not this broad.
But this Jungkook—this Jungkook takes up nearly the entire doorframe with his bulk. Dark eyes stare at you from beneath equally dark hair, his gaze unhindered by his old glasses. A cobalt blue shirt stretches tight over his chest, and you swallow when you notice just how much the buttons are straining to contain the muscle underneath. Black jeans and simple black sneakers complete his outfit, and the entire look is so jarringly different from what you’re used to that you are left momentarily speechless, gaping like a fish out of water. Vaguely, you wonder when he got his ears pierced.
And then Jungkook—or at least, the young man claiming to be Jungkook—takes three steps forward, his entire face melting into a crinkly-eyed grin. You catch a glimpse of the adorably prominent front teeth that always made him look like a rabbit, and that’s all it takes to break the spell.
“Jungkookie!” you exclaim, darting forward to greet him. “It’s been so long!”
“Hi, Noona,” he replies, his grin widening at your approach. In an instant, he has you wrapped up in an embrace, easily lifting you off the floor in a display of strength that would’ve had a lesser woman swooning. His hands curl firmly around your waist, and you have no choice but to wrap yours around his nape, squeaking in protest when he spins you in a full circle.
“Kookie!” you gasp, wriggling helplessly in his grasp and huffing when he only cackles. “Put me down!”
Obediently, Jungkook lowers you back to the ground. His hands linger on your waist until he’s certain that both your feet are planted firmly, and it’s only then that he pulls back to get a good look at your face. “You know I’d never drop you, right?” he asks innocently.
“As if I can trust anything that comes out of your mouth,” you retort with a laugh. “I’ve seen you scam your way out of detention with those pretty doe eyes. Don’t try me, kid.”
Jungkook snorts. “Kid? I’m not that much younger than you. Plus I’m older than Jimin, y’know.”
“By a month!” your brother protests from the dining room, his blond head popping up from behind the vase of daisies serving as a centerpiece.
“Month and a half,” Jungkook stage-whispers to you, cupping a hand and bringing his mouth to your ear conspiratorially. His breath tickles your cheek, and you swat him away with a giggle that becomes a full-on laugh when Jimin lets out an offended cry and rises to his feet. Striding over, he pokes Jungkook squarely in the chest, his eyes narrowed.
“I invite you over to my house and this is the thanks I get?”
Your dad chooses that moment to interrupt from the living room. “Your house? When exactly did you start paying rent, Jimin?”
Jimin’s jaw drops. “Are you taking his side?” he asks in disbelief, glaring at Jungkook when he starts laughing. “I’m your son!”
“I’m your father,” your dad replies.
“And I’m your mother,” your mom pipes up, brandishing a spoon. “And I’m telling all of you to get your butts over to that dining table in the next ten seconds, or no dinner for any of you.”
Your dad, Jimin, and Jungkook immediately fall silent, cowed by her proclamation. Grinning, you join your mother at the counter, grabbing a handful of spoons and accepting the platter of kimchi she hands over. “Direct as always, Mom.”
She laughs and picks up a bowl of rice. “To deal with men like them? You have to be.”
Food in hand, you make your way into the dining room. The table is set, the steaming food arranged neatly in the center, and you watch as your mother takes her seat next to Jimin and leaves you to sit beside Jungkook on the opposite side. Your father beams from his spot at the head of the table, glancing at each of you in turn before turning and giving your shoulder an affectionate squeeze.
“Look at you kids, all sitting at the same table again.” He sighs, and you’re certain that he’s thinking back to the last time all of you were together—well over a year ago, at this point. “It’s a shame that your parents couldn’t join us, though, Jungkook.”
Jungkook nods. “Yeah, they told me to apologize on their behalf. They have tickets for the theatre tonight, and couldn’t get a refund on them.”
Your father laughs and waves the apology off. “I’m sure we’ll catch them next time,” he says. “Pretty hard to avoid each other when you live next door, isn’t it?”
“Definitely,” Jungkook agrees with a chuckle. Then he turns to you, the silver hoops in his ears glinting in the light from the overhead chandelier. “I’m sure they’ll drop by soon to see you, Noona. Mom wants to hear all about Seoul—I think she’s worried about sending me so far away by myself.”
“Junghyun stayed in Busan for university, didn’t he?” your mom asks.
Jungkook nods. “Yep, he still lives downtown and everything. He wanted to come over tonight, but his work wouldn’t let him take the time off.”
Your mom sighs. “That’s such a shame. Is he at least attending your graduation?”
“He’s driving in the day after tomorrow for the ceremony,” Jungkook confirms. Then he pauses, his tongue darting out to wet his lips. His gaze flickers down to the plate of sweet potatoes on the other side of the table, and before he can even open his mouth, your mother is already passing him the plate. He thanks her with an embarrassed chuckle but digs into the food nonetheless, and everyone else takes it as a sign to follow suit. You’re in the middle of scooping rice into your bowl when Jimin speaks up again.
“So what’s it like living in Seoul?” he asks, his cheeks bulging with pork belly. “You have roommates, right?”
“Suitemates,” you correct. “But yeah, I live with three other people. Namjoon, Hoseok, and Jennie are all great though, so it hasn’t been a problem.”
Jungkook pauses mid-chew to gape at you. “You live with guys?”
“My building’s co-ed,” you explain. “We all have separate bedrooms, but we share a common space and bathrooms.”
Your mother—on the lookout for any potential future grandchildren, as always—perks up. “Namjoon and Hoseok sound like nice boys. Are you friends?”
“Yes, Mom,” you sigh. “We’re friends. Just friends.” And then before she can ask about whether or not any other boys have caught your eye, you quickly turn back to your brother. “So, what’s your plan for next year? Are you and Jungkook living together?”
Jimin hums. “Yep, that’s the plan. Unless you want to live with us too, Noona.”
You laugh. “Why, so I can protect you from all the bullies like I did in elementary school?”
He flashes you a cheeky grin. “More like so I can protect you from all the weird college guys. Who’s this Hoseok guy anyway? Do I need to beat him up?”
“Please don’t beat up Hobi,” you entreaty, giggling when he pretends to crack his knuckles. “Or Joon!” you add quickly when he remains undeterred and makes to stand up from the table to defend your honor. Balling up your napkin, you throw it at him, and both of you burst into hysterics when your makeshift weapon bounces off his forehead and straight into his glass of water. The rest of dinner passes in a haze of similarly playful antics and happy chatter, and by the time the last bowl is scraped clean, it feels as if you’d never even left.
“I’ll do the dishes,” you volunteer, standing up and gathering up the empty platters. Jungkook and Jimin are quick to jump to your aid, collecting any utensils that you missed, and you offer them a grateful smile as they follow you into the kitchen.
“Let me do the washing, Noona.” Jungkook rolls up the sleeves of his cobalt blue shirt to expose a familiar silver watch glinting on his left wrist—a watch that his father handed down to him when he was sixteen, and that had been worn by his grandfather before him. You still remember the day he’d first worn it to school, proudly displaying it even though the band was too loose around his narrow wrist.
He’s grown into it now, you realize. The watch no longer flops around like it used to, and sits snugly in place instead. Your eyes trace the silver buckle on the inside of his wrist before trailing up to follow the network of thin, branching veins in his forearm, admiring the smooth flex of muscle as he grabs a sponge from the wire rack hanging above the sink and squirts some dish soap onto the surface.
“I’ll dry,” Jimin chirps, selecting a towel and brandishing it. “Noona, do you want to help me? We’ll finish faster that way.”
Nodding, you pull another towel out from the drawer and rejoin the two boys at the sink. Jungkook washes quickly and efficiently, and you determinedly avoid staring at the way water trickles along the patchwork veins on his hands as he gives you bowl after bowl to dry.
It doesn’t take long for all the dishes to be washed and dried. The three of you take the time to put them back into the proper cabinets before bidding your parents a good night, heading out onto the back porch. Falling back into old routines feels like second nature, so you plop down onto the steps without hesitation and grin when Jungkook takes a seat beside you.
“Wait, I almost forgot!” Jimin exclaims, bouncing up from where he was beginning to sit down next to Jungkook. “I bought some beer earlier and left it in the trunk. Be right back!”
You watch your brother run off, his floppy blond hair a stark contrast with the deep blue evening sky. In seconds, he’s disappeared around the corner of the house, leaving you and Jungkook alone on the porch steps.
“Chim really hasn’t changed one bit,” you remark with a laugh, turning toward your dark-haired companion.
Jungkook chuckles. “The kid loves his alcohol, that’s for sure.”
“Please.” You elbow him in the ribs. “I know you’re just as bad as he is.”
“Maybe,” he concedes with another chuckle. “But come on, Noona, you can’t tell me you don’t enjoy a drink every now and then. What about all that college stress?”
You hum, leaning back on your hands and staring up at the sky where the full moon is just beginning to rise, surrounded by a smattering of stars peeking through the velvety darkness of night. “I never said that I didn’t enjoy a drink, or five.” Jungkook laughs at your remark, and you smile before letting out a soft sigh. “I’m glad Jimin got the beer, though. Maybe I’ll finally be able to stop stressing out about my internship.”
That sobers Jungkook up immediately, his eyes widening as he peers down at you and lays a gentle hand on your back. “Are you still worried? You already got the job, didn’t you?”
You nod slowly, thinking back to the job offer that you had accepted at the end of the semester. It had been difficult finding a company in your desired field that offered internships to first-year students, but with dogged persistence and a lot of luck, you’d managed to snag a summer position. It isn’t due to start for another three weeks, however, and while you’re grateful for the chance to visit your family, part of you also wishes that you didn’t have to wait such a long time. “I just have no idea what to expect, you know? The only jobs I’ve ever had were in retail and food service, and that was all ages ago. I don’t feel ready at all.”
A strong arm settles across your shoulders, and you look up to see Jungkook gazing down at you with something indiscernible sparkling in his deep brown eyes. “You’re gonna be amazing,” he murmurs, his voice whisper-soft. “You know that, right? You always are. This won’t be any different.”
And you believe him. Every detail of his face is bathed in silvery moonlight—the gentle slope of his nose, the sharp angle of his jaw, the little scar high on his cheekbone—and you wonder how you never realized how handsome he is before now. And maybe it’s the low, soothing timbre of his voice, or maybe it’s the way he’s looking at you—with unspeakable tenderness and gentle affection glimmering in his irises—but you lean in before you can even realize what you’re doing. You don’t look away, and neither does he.
Jungkook’s gaze drops, trailing down the slope of your cheeks until it lands on the curve of your mouth. He hesitates for a split second, his throat bobbing harshly as he swallows and sucks in a breath.
And then his lips are pressing against yours—soft and tentative and just a little bit chapped. Your eyes flutter shut almost on instinct, your body relaxing as he shifts and pulls you a little more firmly against him. Slowly, his arm finds its way to the curve of your waist and settles there. Your fingers curl around his nape, carding through his silky hair.
It’s only when Jungkook’s tongue darts out to run along the seam of your lips that reality comes crashing back down, your stomach plummeting down to somewhere around your toes as you wrench away from his embrace. “Kookie!” you gasp, your breathing labored. “We can’t!”
Jungkook blinks, momentarily entrancing you with the way the stars reflect in his gaze like glittering diamonds. “Why not?” he asks, reaching out for you again. “You kissed me back, didn’t you?”
Squeaking, you bat his hands away. “Jungkook, no! We can’t! You’re Jimin’s best friend, and god, this is all kinds of weird, and—“
The dark-haired young man looks like he wants to protest more, but the sound of footsteps coming back around the house sends both of you scooting back to your original positions on the porch steps. Jimin appears two seconds later, plopping down beside Jungkook cheerfully and dropping a six-pack of beer at his feet.
“What’d I miss?” he asks, seemingly oblivious to the tension lingering in the air as he pops open a bottle and hands it to you.
“Nothing,” you say immediately, accepting the proffered beer. The cool glass bottle is a welcome relief, and you hurriedly take a long sip when your mind unwillingly begins to wander back to just how warm and soft your dark-haired companion’s lips had been.
Jungkook is much slower to respond to Jimin’s question. His shoulders slump as he reaches down to grab a drink of his own, twisting the cap open viciously and taking a swig. “Yeah,” he mutters, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. “Nothing at all.”
Luck must be on your side, because Jimin doesn’t seem to notice anything amiss as he grabs a beer for himself and flops backward, resting his weight on his elbows as he gazes up at the night sky. “It’s nice out,” he remarks, looking utterly at ease.
You are anything but. Beside you, Jungkook is sipping pensively on his beer, and you are painfully aware of the heat radiating off his body. Jimin is still chattering away, rambling about whatever pops into his head, and you take the opportunity to sneak a glance at Jungkook. His face is cast in silvery luminescence from the moon, his mouth pulled down into a deep, contemplative frown—and you are once again forced to shake off thoughts of how nice it felt to have his mouth pressed against yours.
This is Jeon Jungkook, you tell yourself sternly. Friend, neighbor, and Jimin’s best friend in the entire universe. You kissed him, sure, but it was a mistake. A moment of weakness. And it won’t happen again.
You repeat that over and over, silently reciting it in your head like a mantra, until, at last, you finally start to believe it.
///
You’re in the middle of brewing a fresh pot of coffee after a lazy morning spent sleeping in when you spot Jungkook outside through the kitchen window. He’s standing in the yard in a sleeveless white tee, wiping at his forehead with the back of his hand as he thoughtfully regards the row of hedges that serves as the property line between your house and the Jeons’ house next door. In his other hand is a shovel, and you can’t help the way your gaze automatically traces his exposed biceps, admiring the way they flex when he finally selects a spot and begins digging.
“Is the coffee done yet, Noona?”
Jimin’s voice yanks your attention away from your gardening neighbor, your vision overtaken by a mess of fluffy blond bedhead as he sneaks into the space between you and the counter and obnoxiously cuts you off from the pot of fresh brew. “Hey!” you protest, but Jimin just gives you a cheeky wink before grabbing a mug and pouring out a generous helping of piping hot coffee. After a moment’s thought, he pours you a mug as well, handing it over with an exaggerated bow.
You roll your eyes, but accept the warm cup nonetheless. Following him into the living room, you make yourself comfortable on the couch as he flops down onto the carpeted floor and turns on the television. Idly, he begins flipping through the channels in search for something to watch, and you endure random snippets of the morning news, a cheesy soap opera, and a series of infomercials before sighing and rising to your feet again. “I’m getting some food. Want some toast, Chimchim?”
“Mmm. Sure.”
Slowly, you meander your way back into the kitchen. Your mother is standing at the counter stirring sugar into her coffee, and you smile as you walk up to join her. “Morning, Mom.”
“Good morning, sweetie,” she says, taking a careful sip of her drink. “Did you sleep well?”
“Like a log,” you reply with a grin. Grabbing the loaf of bread off the counter, you pull out a few slices and shove them in the toaster. “Do you want toast? I’m making some for me and Chimchim.”
“Just one slice for me,” she says, opening up the dish cabinet and pulling out three plates. Obligingly, you hand her one of the two freshly toasted slices and drop the other onto your plate. Popping some more bread into the toaster, you’re just about to grab the jam from the fridge when there’s a knock on the door.
“I’ll get it!” Jimin yells from the living room. You hear the soft pad of his footsteps in the hallway and the low creak of the front door as it swings open—and then your brother is snorting out a laugh at whoever is on your doorstep. “Dude, why are you covered in dirt?”
You’re beginning to have a sneaking suspicion as to who your guest is, and it’s confirmed when your brother’s question is answered.
“I’m helping Mom plant some hydrangeas out back,” Jungkook’s voice explains, his tall figure stepping into view a moment later. “Can you come help me lift the bushes?”
Jimin rolls his eyes. “You could’ve just texted me.”
“Who knows if you would’ve answered?” Jungkook asks, laughing. “Knowing you, you’d just leave me on read. Besides—” and here he glances over at you, dark eyes glimmering with an emotion that you can’t quite pinpoint, “—I wouldn’t get to see two of my favorite ladies if I didn’t stop by.”
Jimin pretends to vomit at the line, but your mother laughs delightedly as Jungkook takes another step into the foyer and flashes her a winning grin. “Good morning, Jungkookie,” she greets him. “Have you eaten breakfast yet? {Name} was just making some toast, and we���ve got fresh coffee.”
Jungkook’s gaze slides over to you again, taking in the flannel pajama pants and oversized t-shirt you’re wearing. “Thanks, Mrs. Park,” he says, though his eyes never leave yours. “I ate already, but coffee sounds wonderful.”
You are beginning to feel increasingly vulnerable as Jungkook continues looking unblinkingly in your direction. Thankfully, your mom pipes up, drawing his attention away with a decisive clap of her hands. “Coffee it is, then!” she says brightly. “{Name}, why don’t you grab Jungkook a cup?”
Hurriedly, you turn toward the cabinets, trying your best to ignore Jungkook as he chats comfortably with your family. Your success is limited though, and you can feel his penetrating stare lingering on your back even as you fetch a mug and fill it up to the brim.
“Noona.” Jungkook’s voice comes from behind you, much closer than you remember him being. “Can I have some cream and sugar, please?”
Somehow, you manage to reply without stammering. “Yeah. Sure.” Dumping some of the excess coffee into the sink, you spoon in some sugar and give it a quick stir. Just as you turn toward the refrigerator for the cream, a strong arm cuts you off.
“I got it, Noona,” Jungkook murmurs, backing you up against the counter as he tucks the little white carton into your outstretched hand. His proximity has your heart skipping several beats, and you almost drop the carton entirely when he speaks again in a husky whisper, his mouth at the shell of your ear. “Just a little bit, please.”
You are acutely aware of the heat radiating off of his body, warming your back and flushing your cheeks. Quietly, you open up the carton and pour a splash of cream into his mug, the swirl of white melding with the dark liquid within. “Is—is that enough?”
Jungkook reaches around you to open up the silverware drawer, grabbing a spoon and giving the coffee a stir. “That’s perfect,” he purrs, his hot breath stirring gooseflesh on the back of your neck.
This close to him, it’s easy to forget where you are and who you’re with, but you somehow manage to regain enough of your senses to wrench away and reclaim your personal space. “G-great,” you stammer, picking up the mug and shoving it into his hands, determinedly ignoring the ripple of his arm muscles as he accepts. “Um. Chim. Did you want your toast?”
“Yes, please,” Jimin says, barely glancing up from where he’s made himself comfortable at the kitchen island, idly playing on his phone.
Your mother pokes her head around the doorframe of the adjoining laundry room, where she has clearly started a fresh load if the sound of splashing water is anything to go by. “Don’t make your sister do all of the work, Jimin. Go help her—it’s your food, isn’t it?”
Obligingly, Jimin hops off the stool and grabs his favorite jar of jam, joining you at the counter. He takes the slice of toast you offer him, slathering it messily and taking an enormous bite. “Thanks for breakfast, Noona,” he says, blowing you an exaggerated kiss. “Ready, Kook?”
Jungkook raises his mug of coffee in acknowledgement. “Ready.” Then his gaze flickers back to you, twinkling with silent mirth. “And Noona—thanks. The coffee’s delicious.”
You can’t find the words to answer. Silently, you watch him disappear out the front door with Jimin, following his dark head of hair as it bobs across the yard. His biceps flex as he gestures for Jimin to help him lift a hydrangea bush, and your eyes linger on the stretch of defined muscle, tracing the network of prominent veins running along his forearm before your brain can caution you to stop. It’s almost as if you’re on autopilot, and by the time you zone back in, your gaze has wandered too far south for your liking. Letting out an audible groan, you tear your eyes away from the mouthwatering view of his thick thighs and return to your now-cold breakfast. And you don’t think about Jeon Jungkook again, pushing the image of his broad shoulders and handsome face into the darkest recesses of your mind.
Or at least, that was the plan. Jimin comes back inside after about an hour, tracking mud through half the house before your mother reprimands him and orders him to take off his shoes. Jungkook, thankfully, chose to return to his own home as well, and you immediately banish the thought of him showering off all the sweat and grime that has no doubt accumulated on his toned body. You shove away the mental image of water slicking his golden skin and collecting in the hollows of his collarbones, and when your mind conjures up pictures of what lies south of his waist, you resist the urge to scream into the pile of freshly laundered pillowcases your mom presses into your arms.
You’re just about to head upstairs to scream into a real pillow when there’s another knock on your front door—a familiar cadence that you heard just this morning. And that’s when you realize—to your complete and utter dismay—that Jeon Jungkook isn’t done tormenting you yet. Not by a long shot.
“You again? You do realize that this isn’t your house, right?” you ask, swinging open the door and thanking whatever gods may be out there that your voice remains steady. Then you raise a brow, glancing down at his change in attire. “Wait, why are you wearing a suit?”
Jungkook gives you an infuriatingly impish grin. “Do I need a reason?” His hair is still damp from the shower, a stray lock flopping down across his forehead, and as you watch him brush it away absently, you notice that he’s holding something in his free hand.
“What’s that?” you ask curiously.
Footsteps sound from behind you, interrupting before he can answer. “Jungkookie?” your mother asks, appearing at the foot of the stairs. “I thought I heard your voice. Are you here for Jimin again?”
Jungkook flashes her a winning smile and raises the garment bag he’s holding. “No, I was actually hoping to get some advice. I’ve got my suit ready to go for graduation tomorrow, but I can’t decide which shirt looks better. My mom likes how I look in blue, but I wanted a second opinion from you and Noona.”
To your utter annoyance, your mother coos and gestures for him to come in. He’s already wearing the blue shirt—a pale periwinkle one that reminds you of a cloudless day—but your mom takes the garment bag out of his hand and unzips it to look inside. “What are your options?” she asks.
“Blue, red, and yellow,” Jungkook replies, pulling each shirt off its hanger and holding them up to his chest in turn. “What do you think, Mrs. Park?”
“The blue is lovely,” your mom says thoughtfully, straightening his collar. “But this shade of yellow looks nice too. A handsome young man like you—you really can’t go wrong with any of these.”
Jungkook grins and scratches behind his ear, trying to hide his embarrassment. “Thanks, Mrs. Park.”
The dryer chooses that moment to beep shrilly, signalling the end of its cycle, and your mother darts off to tend to it, leaving you and Jungkook alone in the living room.
“What about you, Noona?” Jungkook asks, just as you’re about to try and sneak out under the pretense of helping with the laundry. “Which shirt do you like?”
“Does it matter?” you ask. “It’s just going to be hidden underneath those horrible black trash bags they make you wear.”
He laughs. “Sure, but what about before and after? You know my mom’s going to want to take a million pictures.”
“Can’t argue there.” Resigning yourself to your fate, you put your stack of clean pillowcases down on the arm of the couch and cross your arms over your chest. “Show them to me again?”
Jungkook raises the yellow shirt, holding it up for a few seconds before swapping it out for the red. “Well?”
You pause to consider it. “Red,” you decide after some deliberation, pointing at your choice. It’s a deep crimson color—almost burgundy—and you rub the silky material between your fingertips before taking it and replacing it onto its hanger. Jungkook joins you with the yellow shirt, his arm bumping into yours as you both reach for the garment bag, and even though you flinch away from the contact, Jungkook doesn’t let you stray very far. A strong hand clamps down around your forearm, and you inhale sharply when he backs you up against the wall and cages you in with his solid body.
“What the fuck do you think you’re doing?”
Jungkook looks thoroughly unfazed as he blinks a few loose strands of hair out of his eyes. “What are you talking about?”
“Jungkook—” you hiss, struggling to see over his shoulder if your mother has returned. “Get off me.”
“Come on, Noona,” Jungkook murmurs. “I’ve seen the way you’ve been looking at me. Ever since you got back—ever since we kissed—”
“A mistake,” you say, cutting him off with a finger to the lips and glancing around furtively to make sure no one is eavesdropping. “That was a mistake.”
Jungkook raises an eyebrow. “Was it? Because I really wanted to kiss you, and I’m pretty sure you wanted to kiss me too. You kissed back, didn’t you?”
“Y-you—“ You clear your throat and try again, cringing at how shaky your voice comes out. “You don’t know what you’re talking about.”
But Jungkook simply laughs. “Don’t I?” He inches closer until you’re chest to chest, his gaze darkening as it flickers downward and lands on your mouth. Your heartbeat quickens, thudding erratically in your ribcage. It would be so easy to push to your tiptoes and close the distance between your lips.
“God,” you huff. “You’re so—”
His other eyebrow rises to join the first. “I’m so—?” he presses, tilting his head as he awaits your answer. The loose lock of hair flops across his forehead again, and this time you cannot stop yourself from reaching up to brush it away.
“Shut up,” you hiss as your fingers drop down to wind into the soft hair at his nape. “Just shut up.”
And then you’re kissing him—really, really kissing him—pulling him down to your level and sliding your free hand up his infuriatingly toned chest.
“See?” Jungkook’s lips curl up into a smug smirk as he pulls away slightly, his warm breath fanning across your cheeks with every word. “I knew you were into me.”
“God, do you ever stop talking?” you retort, pushing him back until you have enough room to switch your positions and maneuver him against the wall.
Jungkook lets you pin him in place, blinking down at you lazily with his mouth still stretched into that maddening little smirk. “Only if you make me, Noona.” His hands slide down your sides, coming to a stop at your hips in an ironclad grip. “Only if you kiss me like that again.”
So you do. Your fingers tighten in his hair as you crush your mouth to his, and when his lips part you slip your tongue inside. Jungkook—still smirking—relaxes and lets you take control of the kiss, but his hands continue to wander. Before you know it, he’s already snuck underneath the hem of your shirt, rubbing warm circles into the soft skin of your waist. His lips move languidly against yours, his tongue careful and gentle in its exploration of your mouth, and you sigh when he tugs you closer. You’re pressed flush against him by this point, pinning him between your body and the wall, and neither you nor he have any intent to move anytime soon.
The sudden slamming of a door jerks you back to reality. Here you are, standing in the living room where anyone could walk by and see you kissing your brother’s best friend—again. Shakily, you pull away from Jungkook with your heart in your throat, putting as much space as you possibly can between your bodies. “Fuck,” you mutter. “Fuck, fuck, fuck. We can’t do this.”
Jungkook’s chest is heaving, his lips swollen and red. “{Name}—” he tries, but you shake your head and cut him off before he can continue.
“You need to leave,” you whisper.
“But—”
“Please,” you say, your heart hammering wildly in your chest. “Please, Jungkook. Just leave.”
Jungkook swallows, hard. And then, much to your relief, he picks up his garment bag, shoving both shirts back inside. “Okay,” he rasps. “I’ll go.”
Elsewhere in the house, you can hear your mother calling for Jimin. Your father is watching TV in his study—you can hear the low hum of voices and a laugh track. Your entire family is here.
And yet, you’ve never felt more alone as you watch Jungkook stride down the hallway and disappear out the front door.
///
Returning to your high school is odd. The hallways and classrooms are familiar, but they all seem smaller than you remember. And were the ceilings always this short? You aren’t sure. What you are sure of, however, is that Jungkook and his family are currently headed your way, with beaming smiles on their faces and colorful flower bouquets in hand. Greetings and congratulations are exchanged, and it isn’t long before you are face-to-face with Jungkook himself, a tight smile on his face as he meets your eyes.
“Hi, Noona.”
“Hi,” you reply. “Congratulations.”
“Thanks.”
Now that the graduation ceremony is over, he’s taken off his robe to reveal the red shirt underneath. The silky material drapes over his torso and clings to the toned planes of his chest, and your fingers itch to run across the defined muscle. Swallowing down the urge, you instead gesture toward his parents, who are engaged in deep conversation with your own parents while Jimin chats with Junghyun off to the side. “I guess we’re all getting dinner after this, huh?”
He nods. “Yeah, at that one place downtow—“
“Jungkook! Jimin!” A feminine voice interrupts him mid-sentence, and you watch in surprise as both your brother and Jungkook are suddenly engulfed in a massive tangle of limbs. Immediately, you recognize Jisoo and Lisa—two girls you considered casual friends from your own high school days. The third girl in the trio of friends—Chaeyoung—is noticeably absent, but you don’t get a chance to question her whereabouts. “Can you believe it? We’re graduates!” Lisa is saying excitedly, still clutching tightly onto Jungkook’s shoulders. She’s pressed flush against him, her chest molded to his, and the sudden rush of jealousy that takes root in the pit of your stomach takes you aback with its ferocity.
Calm the fuck down, you instruct your pounding heart. Stop it, right now.
“Has Tae told you about the party tomorrow night?” Jisoo asks, breaking you out of your thoughts. “You guys better be there—and that means you, too, {Name}! It’s been forever since we’ve seen you!”
You clear your throat and attempt to smile. “Yeah, it’s been way too long. It’ll be nice to finally catch up.” Unwillingly, your gaze flickers back over to Jungkook and Lisa, doing your best to maintain a neutral expression when you notice the casual way his arm drapes over her shoulders.
Your attempts are in vain. Jungkook notices your stare immediately, a massive shit-eating grin spreading across his face. One eyebrow rises in a silent taunt, and you swear his grip around her tightens. Resisting the urge to roll your eyes, you instead turn back to Jisoo, finally voicing the question that’s on your mind.
“So, where’s Chaeyoung? I saw her during the ceremony, but haven’t seen her around since. She didn’t leave already, did she?”
“No, she’s still here,” Jisoo answers, exchanging a look with Lisa. Curiosity piqued, you watch her gaze dart over to Jungkook for a split second before returning to you, a tiny smile gracing her face once more. “She’s with her family right now, but she’ll be at the party tomorrow.”
“I’ll congratulate her there, then,” you say, returning her smile with one of her own. Silently, you wonder at the uneasy glance the two girls had exchanged, but decide not to press it, chalking it up to some senior year drama that isn’t any of your business.
“Well, we should probably get going,” Jisoo says after another beat. “We’re off to dinner.”
“We should be on our way too,” you agree, glancing over at where your parents are still chatting, having absorbed Junghyun into their conversation at some point. Bidding the two girls goodbye, you sidle over to join them, trying your best to subtly nudge your parents toward the door.
After what feels like an eternity, your parents finally decide that they’re ready for a change in scenery. The drive to the restaurant is blessedly short, much to the relief of your grumbling stomach, and you are more than grateful for the brief reprieve from Jungkook and his knowing smirk. It doesn’t last long, however, and you mentally brace yourself when you spot the Jeons’ car in the parking lot of the restaurant. Upon entering, you are quickly ushered to your reserved table where the Jeons are already waiting, and somehow in the shuffle you end up right between Jungkook and Junghyun, the former’s face dissolving into a satisfied grin as he watches you sit down.
Then he turns to Jimin, who’s seated on his other side. “Hey, man.”
You bristle at the blatant way he’s ignoring you. But two can play at that game, so you turn to Junghyun with a winning smile, laying a hand on his shoulder for good measure. The older Jeon brother is four years your senior, but despite the age difference, you’ve always gotten along well.
“Junghyun, I haven’t seen you in ages! How have you been?”
The elder Jeon grins and leans in to give you a hug. “Good, good—work’s insane, but that’s old news. What about you? How’s school going so far?”
You can feel Jungkook’s gaze on you, hot and heavy. The hairs on the back of your neck prickle under the weight of it, and you resist the urge to shiver. Instead, you give Junghyun’s bicep a final squeeze before pulling away, steadfastly ignoring the way Jungkook lets out a disgruntled hiss from between his teeth.
“School is good,” you tell Junghyun. “I’m trying to get all my general requirements out of the way early, so my first semester wasn’t very interesting. I took some more focused classes in the second, though, which made things infinitely better.”
The elder Jeon laughs. “Guess that means you’re on the right track then, huh?”
“Guess so,” you reply, laughing right along with him.
The server stops by to take drink orders, and your parents take it upon themselves to order food for the table as well. You continue chatting amicably with Junghyun as the server returns with a tray of water, sodas, and soju; beside you, Jungkook does the same with Jimin. The only break in conversation comes when the server—a pretty girl with a chirpy voice and a nametag that reads ‘Mina’—leans over to set a glass of Coke down in front of Jungkook. He thanks her with a crooked smirk and a low purr of gratitude that has her cheeks flushing pink, and it’s all you can do not to gape at him like a fish. The flirtatious quirk of his lips, the seductive tone—it all comes far too naturally to him, and you wonder for a moment just where the old Jungkook has gone. The Jungkook you used to know stammered every time he had to talk to an unfamiliar girl, and had trouble looking even you in the eye despite having known you since grade school.
But now, he’s nowhere to be found. The young man sitting beside you remains as calm as can be, shifting his body toward Mina so that he can request a straw.
“Of course, here you go!” Mina’s gaze lingers on his hand as he accepts the proffered straw, eyes widening when his fingers brush against hers lightly.
“Fast service,” Jungkook remarks, his voice dipping into a low, indolent drawl. “I like that.”
Mina giggles and tucks a loose strand of hair behind her ear. She’s clearly about to respond to him—flirt right back, undoubtedly—but your father stands up and taps his glass with a spoon before she can open her mouth. “I want to make a toast,” he says, and you send him a silent, heartfelt thank you when Mina wisely chooses to make herself scarce. “Congratulations to Jungkook and Jimin, our two rad grads!”
An audible groan rises up from your side of the table, where Jimin has buried his face in his hands. “Oh my god, Dad.”
“What?” your father asks innocently. “I really think you’re rad, grad!”
Jimin groans again, muffled by the sleeves of his jacket. “I want the earth to swallow me whole.”
Laughter all around. More toasts are given, and the bottles of soju scattered around the table slowly dwindle down to their last dregs. Junghyun picks up the one closest to him and fills up your glass for the fourth time, drawing a protesting whine from your lips as you try to cut him off. “Wait, that’s not fair! Pour some for yourself too!”
“Relax, we can always order more,” Junghyun says with a laugh, topping off your glass before glancing around to find Mina. Much to your irritation, she’s already headed your way, bearing loaded platters of meat and vegetables and wearing a bright smile that seems to only be directed to Jungkook.
“I hope you’re all hungry!” she chirps, coming to a stop between you and the subject of her affections. You swear she shoots you a dirty look over her shoulder before turning back to the table, her cheerful facade back in place as she smiles at Jungkook. “Where did you want me to put the meat?”
“Anywhere it’ll fit,” Jungkook tells her with a suggestive smirk, keeping his voice soft enough so that only you and she can hear.
Mina cannot hide her answering smile. Likewise, you cannot hide the way your nostrils flare, throat bobbing as you swallow down the ugly feelings bubbling up in your chest. You can feel Jungkook’s gaze roving across your skin, but you refuse to look at him, stubbornly facing the front as Mina distributes food around the table. As soon as she’s departed again—her fingers brushing across the back of Jungkook’s chair in the process—you’re up and out of your seat, heart beating faster than you’d like to admit.
“Restroom,” you say shortly by way of explanation. It’s thankfully empty when you arrive, and you immediately make a beeline toward the sink to splash some cold water on your cheeks.
It’s absurd—this snaking jealousy coiling in your belly and winding up between the slats of your ribcage. Straightening up, you give your reflection in the mirror a stern look, silently willing the feelings in your chest to abate. Gradually, your heartbeat slows into a regular rhythm, your cheeks cooling, and after waiting another two minutes, you decide that it’s been long enough. Drying off your hands, you exit the restroom and wind your way back to the table, keeping your pace leisurely even when Jungkook looks up and catches your eye. His expression is unreadable, and you valiantly ignore his burning gaze as you take a seat.
“How is everything?” you ask Junghyun, picking up a spoon and piling your plate with food from the nearest platter.
Junghyun pauses mid-bite to answer. His mouth opens, but you don’t catch his answer because there is a sudden, heavy weight on your knee. A warm palm caresses the skin exposed by the hem of your dress, slow and sensual and deliberate. Your eyes widen and your lips part, but no sound escapes. The rest of the table’s occupants fade away into the background, conversations and laughter dulling into a low drone. Beside you, Junghyun is still talking, but all you can hear is blood rushing through your ears.
And on your other side, Jungkook is smirking.
The bastard.
Gentle fingertips skim along your skin, leaving trails of fire in their wake. Your entire body stiffens, but Jungkook refuses to relent. He’s still chatting with Jimin, chuckling at a joke you didn’t hear, and you wonder how he can remain so calm when you are anything but. Your heart takes off in a sprint, clattering wildly against your ribcage, and for a few moments you are absolutely positive that everyone at the table can hear. Any moment, one of your parents will look over and see how wide your eyes are and how warm your cheeks feel. Any moment, Jimin will look down and see his best friend’s arm snaking beneath the table and realize what’s happening.
And then Jungkook squeezes your thigh, and all thought flies out of your head, dissipating like fog in the sunlight. He’s growing increasingly bold, his fingers trailing up until he can trace the hem of your dress, teasing at the soft material. Your breath hitches in your throat, and Jungkook’s smirk widens. You can see him out of the corner of your eye, trying to hide his smugness behind his soju glass, and for a moment you’re tempted to throw his drink in his face.
But more than that—more than anything else right now—you want him to continue touching you.
He’s sliding beneath your dress now, inching down to the delicate skin of your inner thigh and tracing nonsensical patterns there. You grip the edge of the table as he trails closer and closer to the lace of your panties, knuckles turning white against the dark wood. It’s a wonder no one has noticed your flustered state yet, and you cast concerned glances at Junghyun and Jimin before Jungkook notices your inattention. Punishingly, he slides a single finger into your panties, snapping the lace against your skin and covering the sound with a cough that he buries in his elbow. He can’t hide the way you jolt in your seat though, your knee thudding against the table. Junghyun gives you a worried look, laying a hand on your shoulder as he asks if you’re okay, and you hurriedly nod. And underneath the table, Jungkook resumes his ministrations, languorous and soft and deliberately avoiding the place you need him most, as if he has all the time in the world.
There’s a growing damp spot between your legs. You can feel it seeping through the cottony material of your panties, sticking uncomfortably to your folds. Jungkook’s touch is whisper-soft, caressing along your thigh until your skin is tingling, and it’s all you can do to swallow down the whimper that’s bubbling up in your throat. He’s thoroughly enjoying this—you can tell—and you’re certain he can feel the way you tense up when he suddenly drags a single finger up your clothed slit. A low hiss escapes your parted lips, and in an instant, all eyes are on you.
“Noona?” Jimin asks curiously. “Something wrong?”
“I—” Your mind whirs, searching for an excuse. “It’s nothing. I’m fine. The, uh, sauce was just spicier than I was expecting it to be.”
You haven’t touched a single thing on your plate in minutes, but no one seems to notice your obvious lie. Conversation resumes, and you determinedly pick up your spoon again, intent on getting something more substantial in your belly than the fluttering butterflies that have taken up residence there.
“You sure you want to eat that, Noona?” Jungkook’s voice reaches your ears—a low, dulcet purr that sends electricity shooting down your spine. “You should probably drink some water to cool down.”
And before you can answer—before you even manage to reach for your water glass—he’s slipped his hand into your panties, the warm pad of his thumb pressing experimentally against your clit. The slight pressure has you gasping, your heart pounding hard enough to leap out of your chest as you drop your spoon. Your hands drop down to your lap—one gripping the edge of your chair while the other finds its way around Jungkook’s wrist, and you aren’t sure whether you’re trying to stop him or spur him on. His arm muscles flex underneath your fingertips, and that’s all the warning you get before he angles his hand, a lone finger sinking inside your drenched entrance.
“Oh, fuck.” You can’t stop the strangled curse that escapes your lips, an airy hiss from behind clenched teeth. Your grip on Jungkook’s wrist tightens, but it doesn’t seem to dissuade him at all as he begins a leisurely pace, sinking deeper into your cunt with each thrust.
Luckily, no one hears your whimper. Sinking your teeth into your bottom lip, you bite back the sounds threatening to spill out and instead focus on maintaining as neutral an expression as you can muster. Beneath the table, Jungkook remains relentless. Even when your mother looks over and addresses him directly, he doesn’t cease his ministrations, keeping both his tone and his pace even as he responds.
“Jungkookie, you’ve barely touched your pork belly. Are you full already?”
“Stuffed,” Jungkook replies smoothly. He punctuates the word by adding a second finger, and you almost bang your knee on the table again, your eyes going wide at his audacity.
Your mother pushes the platter of meat closer to him anyway. “No need to be polite, honey. Here, eat up.”
Obligingly, Jungkook picks out a few pieces with his free hand and piles them on his plate. “Thanks, Mrs. Park,” he says as he brings some to his mouth. “It’s delicious.”
Satisfied, your mother turns her attention elsewhere. Jungkook returns his to you, and you almost groan aloud when his thumb brushes against your clit again, rubbing tight circles around the sensitive bud before he sheathes both fingers inside you once more. There’s a growing heat coiling in the pit of your stomach by this point, lighting every single one of your nerves on fire. Your body is screaming for release, and Jungkook seems more than eager to give it to you. He’s freed his wrist from your grip, leaving you to clutch helplessly at the table as he angles his fingers upward. No doubt he’s searching for the spot that will have you seeing stars, and you know he’s found it when a sudden burst of pleasure spikes through you. Your mouth falls lax, and Jungkook grins, thoroughly satisfied.
There’s something building inside you, something that has your tummy tensing and your toes curling in your shoes. Jungkook’s fingers dig deep, his palm rubbing against your clit with every thrust, and it takes every remaining ounce of your self-control to resist the urge to rock your hips into his hand. A bit more of that delicious friction, and you’ll be falling over the edge. You know it, and so does Jungkook if the smirk on his face is anything to go by.
And then a voice is pulling you back to reality, a warm hand settling on your shoulder. You flinch at the contact, your startled gaze flying up to Junghyun’s, and balk when you see him staring at you with equal parts amusement and concern.
“I—what?” you stammer. “Did… did you say something?”
Beneath the table, you feel Jungkook’s fingers retreat, leaving you empty and aching for release. Out of the corner of your eye, you see Jungkook wipe his glistening hand on his napkin, a frown that can only be described as petulant settling onto his face.
“Whoa, relax!” Junghyun drags your attention back to him, raising his hands in mock surrender. “I just wanted to say goodbye. I have to be up early for work tomorrow, so I’m driving back into the city tonight.”
“Oh!” It takes you a few seconds to process his words. “Right, yeah. Have a safe drive back. It was good to see you.”
“Ditto,” he replies, flashing you a warm grin. “But hey, are you all right? You’ve been a little weird the whole night. Was it the food?”
Gratefully, you seize upon the excuse. “Yeah! Yeah, I’m fine. I think maybe something isn’t sitting quite right in my stomach, but I’ll be okay. Don’t worry about it.”
He nods and leans in for a hug. “Take care of yourself, yeah?”
“You too. Bye, Junghyun.”
With the elder Jeon brother’s departure, everyone else quickly decides that it’s time to disperse as well. You adamantly refuse to look in Jungkook’s direction as your parents fight over the bill, focusing your goodbyes on Mr. and Mrs. Jeon even when he glances your way with a knowing little smirk and a soft murmur of, “Bye, Noona.”
You can’t look at him. Not when every movement reminds you just how damp your panties are, your core begging for relief. Not when he’s waggling his fingers in farewell—the gesture anything but innocent. “Bye,” you warble weakly, before fleeing to the car.
The memory of his fingers burns fresh in your mind later that night as you lie in bed, your hand stuffed down your panties and working furiously to find that sweet, sweet relief.
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himboarcher · 3 years
Text
reasons i've seen folks say that grad critics hate grad:
they hate travis (in fairness, i’ve def seen some comments of people shitting on trav for the sake of shitting on trav, but it’s not super common and typically gets downvoted into oblivion on reddit.)
it's not balance / travis isn't griffin (???????)
they hate neurodivergent people (again, in fairness, i have seen a handful of comments that could come across this way! but most of the time when travis being ADHD or his NPD is brought up, it's by defenders saying that criticizing travis is ableist because he's neurodivergent or, in one particular comment, infantilizing him bc of it and literally comparing grad to putting a kid's artwork on the fridge. there were some comments early on that pointed to him being a narcissist as the reason for things people disliked about grad, but everyone seems to have realized that that's a shitty train of thought and left it behind.)
they're just toxic haters (again, there are a small handful of people like this because this is the internet, but the genuine criticism greatly outweighs their bullshit. i 100% think that the people, which is mostly just one dude who is also insufferable on reddit, who have been responding rudely to positive tweets under the episode announcements lately are out of line and need to stop. there's been an influx of that lately, presumably because people are frustrated that after over a year of grad going on, there's been no improvement to most of the major issues. that's still no excuse to be a dick to folks, though.)
vs some of the actual reasons i don't like grad:
the racism / racist tropes, and the way that they’ve straight up ignored this criticism and will likely never acknowledge it. pretty wild considering a core tenet of their brand is their willingness to acknowledge when they’ve messed up and do their best to course correct.
clumsy attempts at inclusion that are shallow and often end up being fairly offensive ("...ask me about my wheelchair," anyone?)
on a related note: i don't think that travis had bad intentions, but as an nonbinary person, it feels othering to me that travis only has enby characters give others their pronouns unprompted. i'm thinking specifically of kai here. having listened to their introduction, i don't think it's as bad or awkward as some people have said, but i can't remember travis ever having another NPC tell the PCs their pronouns, especially not a cis character. it's not a huge deal, but it's something that rubbed me the wrong way. admittedly, i don't think it would bother me so much if travis hadn't dropped the ball so much with performative inclusion in the past.
okay i'm putting the rest under a read more because even without getting into all of the problems i have with it, this got Long.
little to no player agency. player choices are ultimately meaningless and have little to no effect on the world. even when he seems to go along with a plan they come up with, it always ends with them having to go back to travis' pre-written script (see: subpoenaing the xorn, but not really because they had to go with travis' original plan of "send the xorn home through the rift".) the players repeatedly get told things about what they think or feel or what they've been doing to an unnecessary degree. fitzroy is the only one who really gets space to play and decide things for himself, and that's only because travis has decided he's the main character.
the NPCs are all too nice and willing to give the PCs anything they ask for and more, unless the PCs are trying to follow their own plan and then the NPCs are completely useless. but honestly, aside from gray, all of the NPCs are just.... nice. travis refuses to even let his antagonists be mean or cruel or even more than just slightly rude, because that'd be a bummer and we don't want that! the "twist" of gordy the lich king actually being polite and chill is not a twist at all because everyone is like that in this world. the NPCs are also wildly overpowered, but then suddenly absolutely useless when the PCs actually want their help.
too many cliffhangers that are dropped immediately at the beginning of the next episode. i feel bad for travis because so many of these cliffhangers actually set up good momentum and seemed like things were gonna get interesting, but almost every single time he just dropped them at the beginning of the next episode. like when althea showed up to interview the boys and the next episode started with travis being like "actually you went to sleep, she said she'll be back tomorrow!"
that time travis specifically said in his exposition dump that the thundermen left their horses behind because they thought the centaurs might be offended by them riding horses, only to later on rag on them for being surprised that the centaurs had horses they could ride.....
also the centaur arc in general, but i already listed racism above, so.
the way that the toxic positivity and parasocial tendencies in the mcelroy fandoms have made a large portion of the fandom take ANY criticism as a personal attack on travis and/or on themselves for enjoying something others consider bad, either morally or just quality-wise. it’s okay to admit that something you like has problematic elements or just isn’t as good as it once was. you can and should engage critically with the media you consume.
related to above: the way travis has handled genuine criticism, which is to throw public tantrums on his twitter or make weird passive aggressive tweets & ultimately ignore all the genuine criticism and advice he's been offered by claiming it's all subjective, even after he specifically asked for it and set up an email for folks to send in genuine, objective advice for him (after he threw a tantrum on twitter and replied to someone's criticism publicly, which resulted in his followers dogpiling on that person bc how dare they insult their internet best friend). while i was writing this last night, he actually announced that he’s taking a break from Twitter and acknowledged that he’s been using it as an echo chamber where he can easily get validation from folks, and honestly i’m happy for him that he’s recognized this problem and is stepping away for a while! i hope he’ll genuinely use this time to reflect on how he’s been behaving and find a more healthy way to use social media. i’m leaving this point in because i think his Twitter being such a positive echo chamber was encouraging him to do stuff like this, and him somewhat acknowledging his behavior doesn’t mean it can no longer be discussed.
rainer. extremely cool concept in theory and i was very into it until that awkward "does anyone want to ask about my wheelchair?" moment. also when travis had her use her mobility aid to RAM INTO A DOOR instead of just fucking knocking???? also all the times travis has tried to force a romantic relationship between her and fitzroy, despite fitzroy displaying no interest in her in that way. also, just to clarify: as an ace person, i don’t think this is aphobic! (and it’s kind of a stretch to call it that imo, especially since griffin never explicitly said that fitzroy's aromantic!) i just think it’s weird and awkward and a little uncomfortable for me personally, mostly because it reminds me of the times i’ve been in similar situations.
less of a problem than a lot of the other stuff and more just bad writing, but the forced emotional moments. in general, nothing in grad feels earned (why are the boys heading a war? when they have multiple actual heroes with combat experience on their side and a supposedly powerful secret organization? and the thundermen are like 21 years old max and have only had like ~10 fights in the entire campaign?) but there've been a couple times where travis has tried to force unearned emotional moments, presumably because he knows people enjoyed those with the last campaigns. but the difference is that in balance, the big emotional moments happened because they were earned. in grad, it's just travis throwing a baby pegasus at us for a few minutes and then the next time she shows up, it's supposed to be a tearful goodbye.
there are absolutely no stakes. remember when the thundermen got told that if they left, gray would kill 10 students? and then they left and came back and it turns out that what gray actually meant was, "i'll tie ten students who are mostly nameless NPCs to a tree and throw some dogs at them that you can easily stop in time, then throw a tantrum because how dare you but i'll leave before you can really do anything to hurt me lol" travis did have fitzroy's magic get taken away, but like. it didn't really do anything? also all he had to get it back was be coerced into using drugs by an authority figure and trip in the woods?
we're told that the school is weird and the hero system is corrupt, but the world of nua is still presented as more of a liberal utopia than anything? althea getting fired because of a corrupt villain is the only time we've somewhat seen corruption, but even then, she was still allowed to get (what seems to me, anyway, but admittedly i don't know for sure bc nothing about the HOG makes much sense) a fairly important job from the very people who stripped her of her hero license or whatever the fuck heroes need?
travis doesn't actually seem to understand how capitalism or bureaucracy works and just chalks up everything to "red tape." also more on the rest of the boys than him specifically, but the "let's destroy capitalism!" thing turning into just pushing some filing cabinets over................... okay.
and one last piece of extremely subjective criticism: it's just kind of.... boring. i think a lot of people, myself included, would be willing to overlook 90% of the problems with graduation if it didn't feel like such a slog to get through.
also people saying that we can't or shouldn't criticize graduation because it's "free" is absolutely absurd for several reasons. first, something being free does not make it above criticism. second, there ARE people who directly financially support the show with monthly donations. three, there's a difference between something being free and something being not for profit. podcasting is their full time job. they make their living off of money made from TAZ and MBMBAM (and probably their other shows to a lesser extent). this not a fun home game that they are graciously recording and sharing with us. it is a product they are producing that they make money off of, both from ads in the episodes and merch & books based off of these podcasts. they have marketed themselves as professionals, and both griffin and travis have been on panels where they are marketed as professional DMs and appear alongside other professional DMs (which makes it incredibly frustrating when people say that travis is just a newbie DM and we can't criticize him because of that. if he's a newbie, then he should not be taking part of panels as a professional DM where he speaks as an expert). TAZ is free in the same way that an episode of NCIS is free. i may not pay for it directly, but the creators are paid to create it and profit off of me consuming this product. so saying we should be grateful for any mcelnoise that the benevolent good boys share with us and that we're not allowed to criticize it "because it's free" is absolutely wild.
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moonlit-imagines · 4 years
Text
Headcanons for being Jane Foster’s child
Jane Foster x child!reader
Thor Odinson x Foster!child!reader
warnings:
a/n: no not a foster child, jane foster’s child 😌 also im so super glad you liked those!!! hope these are just as good!!! and im genuinely so sorry these took so long
prompt: anonymous: “Hey! I just read the Tony Stark x Potts!child!reader HC and I loved it! Would you do the same but with Thor and Jane? ❤️”
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no babysitter = go to work with mom
dr. selvig gave you a rubik’s cube to keep you entertained
“fuck that! here, y/n, you can play my DS” -darcy
“can you not swear in front of my child?” -jane
you thought tonight would be boring, but then your mom and darcy collectively hit a homeless guy with a car!
“holy crap, we’re all going to jail!” -you
“don’t say ‘crap,’ y/n! we need to get him to a hospital!” -jane
ngl this dude was kinda funky
darcy used her taser and your mom covered your eyes, but you still peaked ;)
ride to the hospital
“don’t touch him, y/n”
“sorry, doc”
and the very next day you guys stole him 💕
“mr. thor, where are you from?”
“i am from asgard! it is much different from this realm, but your’s is adequate, i suppose”
“thanks?”
you could see the way your mom looked at him, though
he ate all the pop tarts >:(
she gave thor her ex boyfriends clothes
“yeah, donald was a real ass—” -you
“don’t say ‘ass.’ darcy curses too much” -jane
“sorry, mom...anyways, donald forgot to pick me up from soccer practice like, a dozen times. he sucked” -you
“this ‘donald’ doesn’t seem like a very good man...also, what is ‘soccer?’” -thor
you grabbed a soccer ball and tried to show him how to play but there was some other stuff the *scientists* had to take care of
you were a regular at izzy’s diner (well, mom was) and they always made you cute pancakes in different shapes!!
“ah, it’s a smiley face! that’s adorable!” -thor
“yeah! they like to surprise me whenever i come in. they’re pretty awesome” -you
*your mom literally beaming at how good thor is with you already*
you and thor were drawing on paper placemats
and then he broke a glass and you started giggling hdhshshs
but he had to leave
“no, thor, please don’t go!”
“i hope to meet you again one day, little one. hopefully fate sees it through”
:((((
no time to be sad bc ur mom’s lab got hijacked by the government
“hey, no fair! that’s my diary!” -you
“sorry, kid. there are constellation drawings we have to observe” -coulson
“aw, you draw constellations? wait, not now. you can’t just take all our stuff. especially that! that belongs to a child!” -jane
“sic ‘em, y/n!” -darcy
“don’t listen to darcy, y/n” -selvig
chilling in the trailer and missing thor bc he was the most interesting thing to happen to you and your mom in a while
and you wanted her to be happy even tho he was kind of crazy
“hey, mom? do you want to watch the stars tonight like we used to do? we could make s’mores?”
“that sounds like a great idea, baby! i’ve gotta go take care of some science stuff, so i’ll pick up some s’mores stuff while i’m out. love you!”
yeah she went to go see thor and he kinda got arrested but your mom came back home so you could watch the stars!
“so, do you like thor?” -you
“what? what makes you say that?” -jane
“it’s cool if you do, i think he’s awesome. a little weird, but at least he’s nice”
then thor and selvig came home and selvig was drunk as a skunk
*poking him while he giggles and tells you about thor*
“i wish your grandfather could have met that guy! he would have loved him...i wish you met your grandfather, too” -selvig
thor inviting you back outside
“i’d like you to teach me more about this ‘soccer’”
by the time you guys were done, it was 3am and you were too pumped to go to sleep
so thor told you stories of his home and battle and family
you didn’t want him to stop, you were fascinated by it all
and uhhhh yeah then earth kinda had some vikings show up
they told you that you’d “make a fine warrior one day”
and then yall got attacked by a ????? a what??? a destroyer???????
“get y/n out of here now! they shouldn’t have to see this!” -thor
you were still nearby and saw thor become thor again
after he was done fighting the destroyer, you ran to give him a hug
“that was awesome! can i hold your hammer?”
“maybe someday, little one”
then you didn’t see him for 2 years
which upset your mom a good bit, you had to help her through that episode. lots of sitting on the couch and eating ice cream together talking about how he wasn’t worth her time even tho you missed him too
but he came back! and then your mom sent everything flying bc she had an “infinity stone” inside her and thor took you two to asgard
“y/n! you’ve grown so much, i almost didn’t recognize you!” -thor
tbh you really digged the outfit they gave you, but also you were on another planet? thor insisted on giving you a tour (by flying you around)
“i do hope you’re having fun, little one!”
worrying about your mom simultaneously bc you overheard she was sick
but asgard got attacked and you and jane were confined to a room in the palace, which sucked because you wanted to see it all
but thor sent guards to bring you anything to keep you entertained
“maybe we’ll skip the mace for now, thank you” -jane
after several events that count as child endangerment, this chapter came to an end and your mom and thor finally made it official
loki called you a rodent and then saved your life so you were kinda iffy about him
about a year or two later, your mom had to travel a great deal in order to get some work done, so you were left in the care of thor, who took you to avengers tower
“oh, my girlfriend’s child is an angel! and they’re so intelligent, just like their mother!” -thor gushing to other partygoers
“yeah, thor, your ‘angel’ is sneaking drinks from the elderly” -tony
*sipping his beer* “they’re a growing teenager”
you did have an amazing time interacting with the avengers
and once they tried grabbing the hammer, you knew you had to get in on it (but you failed like the rest)
“don’t worry, my y/n, you have to be eighteen years of age to be able to lift mjölnir!” -thor
“oh, that makes sense!” -you, while thor aggressively shakes his head at the other avengers. he just wanted to make sure you didn’t feel bad you weren’t worthy yet :(
more child endangerment but really what did you expect?
thor went off world and your mom split it off w him but you did have his email so you were still in contact with him
swearing you saw odin on the street once or twice (fast forward)
and then your mom dusted and thor found you as soon as he possibly could, it was so good to see him
he took you in since you were alone now, you moved to new asgard and became prince(ss) of the new land by relation?? makes sense right
basically you and valkyrie made all the calls while thor grieved for years
but he still took care of you
“y/n, would you like to play video games with me? i think it may be a good bonding experience, what do you say?” -thor
“duh!”
uncle korg made you help him with fortnite while thor was asleep
you wished to wield stormbreaker one day
showing thor earth media! his favorite star wars character is r2-d2 dont ask why
he taught you asgardian recipes and you taught him...earth recipes?
when he was drunk he’d ramble on about his childhood and battle and enemies and jane and loki and hela and frigga and literally anything that came to mind
“y/n, could you please get me a beer? and get one for yourself, too” -thor
valkyrie most definitely gave you some battle training so you you blow off some steam, you were glad she taught you how to fight like a true warrior
thor wanted to teach you battle tactics so you could fight alongside him, but he never got around to it
a raccoon and bruce banner visited later on, proposing a way to get your family back, thor was an emotional wreck
his debriefing on the reality stone was tense when he started crying about your mom and everyone stared at you
“hey, don’t look at me. i don’t control the god, i just keep him company”
ending up waiting 1 second for the avengers to come back from their mission, resulting in you being stuck in the middle of a very heavy battle
“y/n, get out of here!” -thor
“don’t worry, thor! valkyrie taught me a few moves!”
“you make me incredibly proud, little one!”
“i’m not so little anymore, am i?”
“you will always be my little one, y/n. blood or not, that will not change!”
victory, but at what cost? it was a rough ride, you needed to get patched up, but your mom was finally home and thor...he decided it was time to leave earth again
“don’t worry, my y/n. i will see you again.” *tearing up* “i’m so glad i got the pleasure of raising you these past few years. i love you dearly, now go be with your mother”
you straight up wanted to bawl your eyes out right there
“well, y/n, you’re next in line for the throne of new asgard. what is your first command?” -valkyrie
“actually, i think you’d make a much better ruler than me. i’ve got to spend some time with my mother now that she’s home”
“you’re so much like him, you know that?”
staying with your mother, who was diagnosed with cancer not long after returning from the soul stone (a/n: jane getting cancer is canon in the comics and confirmed for thor 4)
“i missed five years of your life and now i’m sick, that’s just our luck, isn’t it?” -jane
she was understandably upset, but she also felt guilty
“mom, don’t beat yourself up. everything is okay, we’re still together right now. i won’t be going anywhere, i promise”
taglist: @alwaysananglophile // @rorybutnotgilmore // @locke-writes // @sweetheartliz07 // @queen-destenie // @natasha-danvers // @lokihiddles // @frostedgiantfavs // @emygirl // @lotsoffandomrecs // @johnmurphyisbisexual // @teenwaywardasgardian // @pappydaddy // @captainshazamerica // @freya-xo // @ravenmoore14 // @purpleskiesstorm // @ofthedewthesunlight // @canarypoint // @zoeyserpentluck //
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herstarburststories · 4 years
Text
(He Isn't) A Good Guy
Kinktober day 15: humiliation kink
Pairing: Jensen Ackles x reader
Summary: Jensen is tired of everyone saying he's a good guy.
Warnings: dirty talk (kind dark bc of the kink), handjob, p in v, riding, cheating, possessive, slapping
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You have to be careful with what you're good at. You might just end up doing it for the rest of your life.
Jensen Ackles never caught the appeal of that saying. If you were really that good at something, why wouldn't you want to do it?
Such a mindset was as constant as a mother’s love and made Jensen's loyal company for a long time during his career. He pictured it would last forever: the head pats, positive criticism, and his charm that caught more and more fans. The Hollywood man was happy, really. He grew to be a good — if not great — actor. He had a wife and three kids that were the love of his life. He could go anywhere and find a job through the instantaneous recognition that Supernatural bestowed upon him, not to mention its gift of a best friend, Jared, and the raw amount of personal growth he went through. 
He was perfect in the most diversified aspects of his life, and, God, it was boring as fuck.
Whatever Jensen did, he was excused for it. Plenty of people would light themselves on fire for him (and hey, don’t think he was ungrateful for that), but being called a good guy that apparently couldn’t do any wrongs while the rights came out even in his sleep could be devastatingly annoying.
He thought he might have some problem, perhaps even a middle-aged crisis. Come on, who, with his life, would feel compelled to look for something else? Ackles had the money, the friends, and family. He had everything everyone dreamed about, but he just wanted to wake up.
Then, he met you.
You were the woman in her twenties who was barely starting in the media business, yet you had enough luck and talent to evoke the CW's attention that early. They wouldn't hire you as an official director, but you were in the training process. You were a prodigy, as most people on the set liked to joke about.
You sighed, slightly frustrated about the direction these takes were going. Asking Ackles to follow orders was roughly the same as punching a wall; the brick didn't break, and it only left you with scuffed knuckles and growing irritation. “Jensen, you need to tilt your head to the side or we won't be able to catch her face on camera.” 
“I'm doing that,” he said as if it was obvious.
“The camera doesn't agree with you.” You crossed your arms, tired of having this heated squabble again.
“I know how to shoot sex scenes, Y/N. I've been doing that for—”
You interrupted him: “I'm aware of how long the show I'm working on has been going, Jensen. Now, take my hint and do as I say. I get that you have done this before, but we are trying a new position, so your M.O. might not work.” You knew he was a good actor. Supernatural wouldn't be what it was if it wasn't for his character. Still, you needed this episode to be perfect in terms of filming. It was your first actual chance to prove how worthy you were. Jensen had his career and little apple pie life settled, but you had to scratch and squirm to insert yourself into the industry. You knew what you were doing. Nonetheless, you attempted to pacify his self-assurance by being assertive and gentle at the same time: “Just listen to me and try it. Please.”
The green-eyed man opened his mouth, very much ready to spit out a contradicting retort, but at the last second, he clamped his jaw shut and opted for a smirk instead. “Yeah, boss.”
It was the first time in years that someone actually came at him. Jensen felt the bruise aching his ego that spiked a sudden pressing need to puff out his chest and say I know what I am doing. Why don't you watch? 
He'd call that the Texan man behavior, alpha macho testosterone levels on high, but, honestly, he was just mad that someone had the audacity to talk to him like that, as if he was a rookie on his job. Jensen's whole body heated up, his jaw clenched, and his breath caught on his throat when he glanced at you — of course, he'd never put a hand on a woman, but God, that was infuriating. He wasn't a middle school child in need of a lecture.
But this was his first impression. As you gave everyone fifteen minutes to relax before shooting again, he went to his trailer, gait unnecessarily heavy like a child throwing a tantrum. Jensen locked his trailer and closed his eyes, trying to pick out his emotions — how long have it been since he got mad? That couldn't be healthy.
Do as I say. Your words were echoes in his head, spinning and making him dizzy. Just listen to me.
And the look you gave him. It wasn’t adoration as a fan or nervousness like a new worker. You didn’t excuse him as anyone else did. You glanced at him as you would to any other person on the set that had made a mistake: you pointed it out and didn't offer any sugarcoating to dull the blow.
It felt refreshing.
Shaking your head at the scene unrolling on the other side of the camera, you let out an exhausted sigh. This was your second directed episode, and Jensen wasn't making it easy for you. He always seemed like such a nice guy, yet you weren't surprised by his mulish behavior. You had called him out, and now he was turning it back around on you. Celebrities were complicated on their one, but male ones even more. Their egos required a role for themselves.
“Everyone, ten minutes!” you announced, placing the headphones on the table next to you. Your crew started dispersing, Ackles included, when his name left your lips: “Jensen, c'here.”
The green-eyed man arched his eyebrows, not sure why you wanted to talk to him so privately. Still, he approached you.
When you were a kid, you went through a phase when your smile wasn’t very pretty. It was too much teeth, eyes too tight, and head lifted high enough to show under your chin. Your parents couldn't just up and tell you that it looked terrible, obviously, so they just showed you multiple pictures until you decided that you didn't like something about it.
Maybe that would work with Jensen.
You patted the chair next to you, and Jensen sat there with a wisp of hesitation. You clicked on the scene you had been trying to get right for almost an hour. The replay went smoothly, Ackles's shoulders shrugging by the end. He didn't see the fuss about this.
“Seems good,” he said nonchalantly. 
You squinted your eyes at him. Someone as talented as him couldn't be serious about not seeing a problem with how ridiculous his vampire transformation through the last season was. “Seems like a sitcom”
“It's a dumb scene.” Jensen shrugged.
You groaned. “Can't you just accept that you can do better?”
Jensen crossed his arms and straightened his posture, holding a defensive atmosphere around him. God, he was infuriating sometimes. “Maybe you can. I've been doing great for years. You might not be the right director for this kind of show.”
“Just do as I said. You're in the scene, but I'm the audience. I can see right through you. I'm seeing things from another perspective and trying to tell you how to improve. That's what a director is for. Go ahead and try it!”
Your friendly conversation with the lead apparently had the opposite effect. As soon as he went back to his place in front of the camera, Jensen Ackles appeared to acquire the stubborn, incredibly unprofessional desire to take on all the worst camera angles only to get on your nerves.
“Are you kidding me!?” You elevated your voice, furious at how careless he was. All your patience has been zapped. “You're doing it on purpose. How can you be so petty?”
“Me? Petty!?” he said between gritted teeth, almost hissing as he walked to you. “I've been playing Dean for years. I know him more than—”
“I know. You do a big job with that character, but Jensen, you make mistakes. It's part of the process. You're a grown-ass man, so you can take what I'm saying and make something useful out of it. I'm the director; you are the actor. I don't care about how long you’ve been on this stage, and I don’t care for incompetence. You ain't doing good, so do as I say and fix it.”
Jensen tensed up when you said that, exhaling shortly while his eyes glued on you. You were half his age, yet the way you presented yourself — arms stiffly crossed, eyes ablaze and chin lifted — spoke of your power on this film set. At the end of the day, he was just a man, and he was in your court. Just like that, you held all control. He bit his bottom lip, neck red with the heat of anger and adrenaline that lashed through his body.
He was furious, yet all his body could do was react as if you had kissed him instead of punching his ego.
Anger and luxury both came from the same place. They were just different branches on the same tree growing from a common seed.
The half of Supernatural's leader actor started doing it on purpose, then. Not acting in a way that could collide with his career or mess up the shooting schedule, but an occasional bitched scene here and there when he had a chance, and always when you were in charge of the scene.
He relished in it: someone treating him like a man and not an untouchable idol. A woman who would look straight in his eyes and not be too intimidated, excited, or lovey-dovey to tell him all the bad things he needed to hear. You were someone who could put him in his place.
Unfortunately, playing around can only get you so far. If you bring someone to the pool, they won't be satisfied with just one foot in the water. They'd want to swim, splash water at their friends to get them all wet and soaked too. 
What started with provocative, fuming rage and nuisance soon melted into something deadlier. It was something unmanageable, a burning fire that attracted all the wrong kinds of glances. Yet, neither of you could help but follow where the smoke signal led.
You were here, in each other's arms. It was a dirty little secret that went way beyond just an illicit affair: it was about what you two could give to each other without even asking, and what other people could never quite comprehend. . . And they didn't need to. Jensen had you, and you had Jensen. To desire and savor the result was enough.
Your hand was wrapped around his cock, moving up and down in a painfully slow rhythm. You had two legs wrapped around his, your face hanging next to Jensen's — close enough that you could kiss all of his freckles if this were out of love and not necessity — as you spoke.
“Everybody thinks you are the good guy. Little mister perfect.” Ackles groaned at the malice in your tone. He hated that — how everyone called him perfect, how every single person told him he was such a good guy. You were his only grounding force under the blinding lights. “But I know you aren't. You are nasty, disgusting, and so needy for someone to put you in your fucking place.”
The male's lips parted slightly, a pornographic moan leaving his body. This perversion felt like a hair short of sin. Who in their right mind would be so turned on by a girl half his age picking up all the worst things one could say about him, only to throw them exactly where it hurt the most?
Why, in the name of God, did he want more? Why was Jensen bucking his lips, needy noises that he never dons escaping his trembling body? Why was his cock hard as fuck, ruinining your fingers with sloppy precum while he internally begged you for more? 
It was like receiving a miracle and giving it to the devil.
“Look at you,” you continued, a smirk painted on your features, “getting fucked in your trailer by the woman who basically told you to stop whining and get your job done like a real man.” You loved being in control of the usually overconfident Hollywood star. If only his dearest fans knew how much of a submissive he was — how he just needed to be told where he belonged. 
“Y/N…” Jensen managed to say, his chest moving erratically fast. You leaned in to press your lips to his, and he whimpered. Ackles' hand slid to your waist in an attempt to pull you closer, but all he got was a slap on the arm and lack of friction on his dick. “Y/N!”
“I didn't say you could touch me, stubborn idiot.” You hissed, getting up to throw away your skirt and underwear. Jensen sniffed, feeling so ridiculous about himself. You had way too much control over him, but he couldn't really care about anything other than you touching his cock right now. Fuck composure or else. “I'm not your wife. I'm not one of your thirsty fans.” Each word came out in a harsh tone, those syllabus together had no other duty but hurt him, and he loved how they agonized in his body, redirected right to his hardness. You got free of the skirt and your soaked lace panties. “I don't need you. This?” You gestured at yourself and Ackles, a wry laughter coming out as you climbed on his lap. “I'm doing you a favor. So, you better thank me and take whatever I choose to give you. Understood?” Jensen's eyes were obsessed with your image, not leaving your face once— not even to look at his hard cock that was so close to your cunt due the new position. He just nodded, wishing that was enough to show you his piece of mind. It wasn't. You slapped his cheek and howled. “I made you a question.”
Jensen gulped, the red on his cheek from your smack couldn't compare to his blushed body. This felt so good, finally getting what he wanted. Ultimately, he blurted out: “Yes, I understand.”
“Good. Now let's put you to good use.” You winked at him, a hint of silly playfulness before you got all his length inside you at once. Both of you moaned, the unique sensation of your walls around his hard dick was marvelous. So warm, tight, and wet. Everything he deserved in one pussy, one woman. You started to move your hips up and down. “You feel so good inside me, baby. Like your cock was made for me— I think you were made just for this, to be fucked by me. What do you think?” His eyes fluttered shut, Jensen was allowing himself to get lost into you. You were heaven in sin, fucking him so nice. You weren't having his silent, though. You both had to be quiet about many things regarding to your mutual arrangement, you couldn't get more of closed mouths. Not when this was happening. You grabbed Jensen's jaw, fingertips pressing against his skin. “You better start answering me before I get out of here and go get some with a real man.”
Jensen groaned, holding your hips possessively. You knew he was one of the jealous kind, talking about other men touching you always got a reaction out of him. “I'm a real man.” 
“Show me then, baby.” A glimpse of sweetness appeared as you leaned in to kiss his lips. It didn't last much before your lips went to his neck, words coming through an open-mouthed there. “You know, they all are so caught up in your act, Jensen. The perfect texan boy, the amazing husband, the unproblematic idol…” You chortled, sending goosebumps through his whole soul. His dick was deep into you as you were riding his restlessly. “I bet you get tired of this. I bet you just want to fuck me in front of everyone sometimes, just to show them how dirty you can be.” He nodded, a soft whine leaving his lips. He was so tired of being the good guy. Only you knew him. “Like right now. You spent the whole day messing up with me, teasing me, just so you could get punished. And here we are, fucking in your trailer, while everyone is getting ready to go home.” He tried to move his hips as well, to get more of you. When you didn't stop him, Ackles winced and bucked his hips, hitting your G-spot, going deep and raw inside your tight cunt. One of his hands went to your pussy, digits pressing to your clit. Your next words came during groans of pleasure. “You should go too, baby. But you can't help it, huh? You just want go fuck me, even though I don't even care enough to send you a message to make sure you got home safe. You like it. You love that I'm not crazy about you, that I don't care.” His heart ached, but his cock only grew harder. Jensen could feel he was on the edgy. “So, you stay here instead of going home to your sweet wife. You stay here instead of hanging out with your best friend. You stay here instead of looking through your social media just to get an ego boost. Is this what a good man would do, Jensen? No... But that's okay. Men like you just need to be put in their places, and you love it.”
“Y/N!” He screamed helplessly, pulling your body closer to him when he came inside you, marking your pussy as his. A treacherous, lust stained thought was placed on his shoulders, whispering lovingly to his ear like you did your swearing: breed her, get her pregnant with your baby. Make her yours.
You had broken him, and he loved every second of it. He couldn't wait to give you the shattered pieces as a gift.
You came with an excruciating grunt right after him, all over his cock. The feeling of Jensen coming inside you always pushed you right way. You sighed happily, resting your head on his chest.
He enjoyed moments like this.
You remained there, waiting for his cock to relax inside you, get less hard before you pulled you. When it did, you pressed a quick kiss to his collarbone, walking to grab your clothes.
“Jensen,” You coughed after putting on your skirt. “I'll send you the new script tonight. Send me an email to confirm that you got it.”
What you truly wanted to say was, tell me if you got home safe. But you couldn't.
“Sure.” Jensen answered with a nod. Once again, he also wanted to say something else: thank you for giving me what I need, for seeing me. I love you. But he couldn't.
You picked up your wet panties, throwing it at him with a teasing smile before leaving the trailer.
It was enough.
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bpdanakins · 3 years
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i just infodumped to my friends about bpd anakin and i have No Regrets snakjdkajfsk
anyway, doth thee have any more bpd anakin (or just anakin in general) headcanons becuase i am living for this
I am So Sorry this took so long, but hopefully the length makes up for it. Thank you so much for sending this to me bc BPD!Anakin is my entire life. I could talk about it all day, every day.
I’d like to thank @apple-grass-and-smiles for helping me organize my Thoughts on all of this, prompting me to focus on certain things and giving me feedback in general too. 
Okay, here goes:
Anakin fidgets!! I’m not even sure if this is a headcanon but if it is I will die on this hill. He can’t stay still for the life of him and doubly so when he’s anxious, nervous or Ready To Do Something Already. 
We know Anakin can’t hold eye contact to save his life when he’s upset or insecure, but I can also see him having issues with touch when he’s upset, unless it’s from certain people only (Padmé always gets a pass, for example).
Anakin’s quick to let some small stuff go, but larger things people do that hurt him (whether intentionally or not) aren’t really ever forgotten, and he just kind of takes that in and suppresses it, until random moments when it pops up, he remembers, and it just hurts like it’s happening all over again. The people around him often have no idea what fully sets him off, bc to them, his reaction now seems out of nowhere while his mind’s still stuck on this other thing.     - His reactions also seem sometimes like they’re Over The Top, but even just remembering past hurts can feel almost disabling at times. It’s worse when he ends up ruminating on it, because the hurt and feelings of betrayal just keep building up over and over until it almost blots everything else out.
When he’s happy or surrounded by those he loves, everyone kind of can feel it too, bc he’s just fuckoff powerful in the Force and esp other Force sensitives kind of gather around his space and just… his affection and excitement are literally infectious. 
This probably runs closer to ADHD than BPD for sure, but get him talking about anything mechanical (robotics, engineering, racing, etc) and he will go from 0 to 100 so fast you’d get whiplash. No one minds though bc, as I said, his excitement is infectious and honestly those around him just adore listening to him go off even though half of it goes over their head.     - Ahsoka may not ever get Gotta Go Fast, but she definitely loves it when he really talks her ear off about all this stuff, bc it makes her excited to learn and she picks up on all of it easily. (There’s a part of her that wants to emulate him and she does def look up to him obviously.)     - We see it with Obi-Wan, but people love to use his love of all things mechanical as a way to distract him from things that upset him. It doesn’t always work but they try.
With Obi-Wan, he ends up on the side of Anakin’s splitting like, all the time. And unfortunately sometimes Obi-Wan can’t tell that Anakin’s lashing out not because of something Obi-Wan’s actually done, but bc Anakin’s young and Obi-Wan’s the figure he can project a lot of his frustrations on.     - It can lead Obi-Wan to being confused and hurt sometimes, bc he doesn’t always understand Anakin’s thought processes when this happens, and it definitely sometimes cuts him to the core. On the reverse side, though Anakin might not always say it to his face, Obi-Wan definitely can overhear him at times when Anakin’s ready to 1v1 anyone who even so much as makes a frowny face about Obi-Wan, which helps Obi-Wan remember that Anakin does love him too, actually.     - It ends up being one of the points of frisson between Anakin and Mace, bc Anakin can’t read body language perfectly, especially when it comes to feelings of abandonment or someone seemingly not loving who Anakin loves to the same degree. Mace has a drier sense of humor at times and defs has a more resting frowny face, and this rankles Anakin at times bc he can’t always tell when Mace is just chilling vs being disappointed, and while Anakin will take it all personally, he ALSO takes any perceived criticism to those he loves personally too.     - Both Mace and Obi-Wan don’t get this bc they have a perfectly fine relationship. Anakin’s just Like That.     - (And super overprotective of people’s perceptions of Obi-Wan. Anakin will go off about Obi-Wan being mean and all that, but fuck you and your entire family tree if you ever even think Obi-Wan’s anything short as the most amazing Jedi to ever Jedi.)
Everybody and their mother can see the pedestal Anakin puts Padmé on, and surprisingly she rarely is on the end of his splitting. When he does, he just internalizes it bc he can’t stand the idea that he’s somehow seen her in a wrong light, or he feels guilty for getting angry with her.     - He also defines a huge chunk of his life around loving her, making her his center for a lot of his decisions and reactions, so when they’re off, his whole world seems backwards. It makes him Really uncomfortable and unsure. He gets panicky and upset and often people have no idea what the cause is so they just end up a lil panicky in return.     - He tends to take it out on others, by doing an exercise or by disappearing to fiddle with something.     - Pads has an easier time recognizing Anakin’s emotional needs, bc in some ways they’re the same as hers. She’s good at reaching out to him, comforting him and reassuring him of her love. And in turn, he like, never fucking shuts up about how much he loves her, and those moments are what make her feel so special around him. Being loved by Anakin makes someone feel important and even get tingly, bubbly happy feelings, because it’s hard to doubt it sometimes.     - There’s a part of her that sometimes worries about how Intense he is, but, like I said, when his positive intense emotions are focused on you, it feels wonderful. And he’s genuinely super sweet and gentle, and she appreciates that, when she tells him to back off about something, he’ll listen to her wishes. (I’m using movie Anakin as my base here bc TCW!Anakin in this regard is just…. bad y’all lmao)
Anakin’s anxious about Ahsoka All The Time. He’s afraid he’s a bad teacher, he’s afraid he’ll mess her up somehow, he’s afraid he’ll hurt her or she’ll get hurt, and that’s why he can’t stand the idea sometimes of her being on her own. It’s not a lack of trust in her abilities, but because he feels responsible for her, and that’s why he’s always ready to put himself between her and literally anything that could potentially hurt her. (Even if it’s not a physical threat.)     - There are times she finds this amusing and times this makes her angry, but mostly she is long suffering. There are times she appreciates it though, bc she’s still a kid and isn’t always sure which way is up, especially when in a war. Anakin is often a cornerstone for her, and though she’d literally NEVER admit it, his overprotectiveness can sometimes be a reassurance. She knows she can handle herself just fine, but when she has an inkling of doubt, she’ll remind herself that Anakin will be there, and then go and take care of the problem herself.     - She doesn’t always get his moments where he’s not always falling over himself to talk Obi-Wan up or go out of his way to sass at him. To her, they have a wonderful relationship and she rarely notices when Obi-Wan might say something that pokes at Anakin wrong, so she often just winds up ???? when Anakin is huffy or annoyed with her grandmaster.     - She sees Anakin’s anger issues a little more easily than others, and she worries about it but always brushes it off or downplays it, bc she always sees why he’s angry, and also always just assumes (like everyone else) that he can Handle It.     - Anakin’s recklessness and impulsivity are some of her favourite things about being his padawan. He’s literally never boring to be around, and Ahsoka needs that sort of excitement to sometimes push aside the knowledge that she’s literally in a warzone. Anakin’s also really good at doing this intentionally; he’s literally always worrying after her, and all he wants to do is take care of those he loves and make them happy, so sometimes he’ll be Extra just to get under her skin or distract her and honestly this is the basis of where their playful competitions always come from.
If Ahsoka is long suffering, Rex is doubly so. Sometimes it’s all he can do to keep up with Anakin and Ahsoka, but he appreciates Anakin “thinking outside the box”. He also appreciates knowing that Anakin is just as loyal to him and his men as he himself is (well… Anakin is until he isn’t lmao)     - Rex, like Pads, is really good at picking up Anakin’s moods and even trains of thought, so he’s always able to work around that, or even see where Anakin’s mind is going when coming up with a plan. They make a really good team bc while Anakin can jump from one idea to another without them seemingly correlated, Rex immediately follows Anakin’s leaps and they just end up in sync.     - That being said, Anakin can be really confusing at times. His moods are often so all over the place, that Rex generally has no idea what tf is going on. He deals with it by learning to be calm when Anakin’s unable to, and just ride out Anakin’s worst moods until they pass by, learning not to let it all phase him. Anakin lowkey hates it when he’s upset, but once the worst of it passes, he really appreciates that Rex will just… not press like Obi-Wan, or balances out the moments Anakin’s mind is so cluttered by instead just keeping a good focus on things.
Probably everyone’s most baffling symptom of Anakin’s is his paranoia. Obi-Wan kind of sees it the most, because Anakin is always testy with the Council and often feels put on the spot, dismissed and looked down upon. To everyone else, they don’t get where Anakin’s ideas come from, bc everything seems chill on their end. His fretting about others’ well-being is straightforward enough, but his instant panic-turned-anger shift when he receives any criticism (especially the perceived type) always gives people whiplash. It’s hard to keep up with, hard to see what it was that got to him so much, and hard to know how to help (particularly when they’re worried that trying to help him will feel like “taking sides”).     - Ahsoka takes Anakin’s POV of the Council pretty easily, at least when it comes to him. This is mostly bc she’s not there when there’s a meeting or tension around them, nor was she there when Anakin first arrived, so she just assumes they must genuinely often have issues with him too. She doesn’t see it to the extent Anakin does though, but she recognizes that sometimes he seems to blow things out of proportion when he’s upset, and figures it’ll just blow over once he’s calmed down.     - Pads, on the other hand, is always kind of aware of Anakin’s fears of losing her. He often not-so-subtly looks for reassurances that she loves him and won’t leave him, that she’s feeling alright or not angry/annoyed with him. She chalks it up to his trauma with his mother (and she’s partially right), so even when sometimes it gets on her nerves that he seems to doubt her so much, she tries to remind herself of that and let it go. 
Those closest to him can pick up that Anakin tends to see the negative in things, and is generally really hard on himself. They try to help out by giving praise where it’s due and just overall Being There, but it’s Rough to know they often don’t get through. (Palps, on the other hand, knows how to weaponize this.) 
The saddest part is that I don’t think anyone once thought Anakin was Seriously Ill, partly out of ignorance, partly bc they assumed it had to do with his age/upbringing, and partly bc, eventually, everyone was dealing with trauma and even if someone wanted to send Anakin back to the Temple to have a nap or something, they legit couldn’t bc there was a war going on and he also would never have tolerated it at that point in time.     - Obi-Wan’s the one who worries about all of this the most, because he’s always felt such a huge responsibility for Anakin and loves him a lot, he’s just never fully been able to understand how to get on the same wavelength as Anakin.     - Anakin, too, actually never fully figures out that there is something Going On. Everything’s always overwhelming him and even though he prefers doing things at 100mph, sometimes it seems like there is Too Much going on, and even during peace times it just felt like he couldn’t keep up with everything. He hates internal reflection but also can’t stop overthinking about everything, and so he just ruminates and goes in circles and often just ends up going nowhere when it comes to dealing with things. He tries his hardest all the time, he is ALWAYS trying, but doing stupid stunts, fighting droids, making robots and speeding everywhere all the time is truthfully only a bandaid.     - Being surrounded by those he adores and receiving affection from them/seeing them happy boosts his mood a lot but he doesn’t have enough self-awareness to guess at why his happier moods just won’t last.     - Sometimes he can figure out when he’s being irrational and then just takes it out on himself, which only exacerbates his bad episodes. 
Palpatine doesn’t help. He’s abusive, manipulates Anakin all the time and is the Worst and definitely makes everything Anakin is struggling with harder and I think we should all just punt him into a sun thank you this isn’t a headcanon I just want everyone to know how much I hate him
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lutbys · 3 years
Text
Gift Wrapping
MIND YOU THIS IS VERY UNEDITED IT IS REALLY JUST A BRAIN DUMP OF A FIC ILL EDIT IT ONE DAY JUST NOT TODAY TQVM 
Draco Malfoy x Slytherin reader
Summary: Thinking you were going to be alone in the common room, Draco sits in the corner by himself, struggling to wrap his gifts for Christmas
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You hear the last doors close and the hallways were finally quiet. 
“Wher’you going?” you hear your dormmate mumble, seconds to slumber. “I’m going to go read, clear my head a bit” but you didn’t hear a response, only the small whistled breaths to indicate the they were fast asleep.
Your feet tapped on the stone stairs lightly, book in hand as you led the way to the common room.
There were always candles lit throughout the night in but that didn’t contrast with the fireplace as its brightness roared through the room, lighting up even the smallest crevices.
The fireplace was the best part of the common room, it always amazes you with the blazing fire it brings and the crackling that bring peace, almost like white noise.
Your feet tapped on the stone stairs quietly, book in hand as you made a bee line to the common room. it was dark, any surface the light of the fireplace didn’t touch was dark enough to be considered non-existent.
The fireplace was your favourite part of the dungeon. It blazing fire glowed beautifully, and the crackling of wood provided you white noise for nights like these, nights were your mind is awake and unwilling to let yourself into deep slumber.
“For fucks sake.” You heard someone whisper-grunt. You jumped out of your shoes, who could still be up this late?
Your head snapped towards the voice and it led you to the table on the farthest corner of the room, a small lantern being the only source of light that illuminated the voices features.
“Malfoy?” 
The boys head snapped up and his face glowed orange, accentuating the small bags under his eyes.
“What you do want y/l/n?”
“That’s not how you greet a fellow sixth year.” You chuckled. Its only been the fifth time you’ve talked to the boy, having only had to create conversation whenever you were with pansy. You weren’t as close as one would think, what with having the same group of friends and all. “Whatcha doin’?”
The table he occupied was covered with layers upon layers of wrapping paper and gifts, to the far corner sat three messily wrapped gifts, wrapped was an understatement. “Wrapping?”
“Seems like you’ve answered yourself y/l/n”
“d’you need any help?”
“Wouldn’t need it if mother didn’t have a no giftbag rule.” He rolled his eyes, struggling to peel of the tape that had miraculously stuck itself together. “This is bullshit!” in anger, he balled up a the piece of wrapping paper he used and tossed it behind him.
“Let me help you. Good thing, I know how to and don’t possess anger management issues.” To that, Draco glared but nevertheless pushed the gifts towards you.
With elegance, you wrapped a book, its edges crisp and the ends tucked neatly with a single piece of tape. “See! It’s like folding clothes, but not so much.” “Atypical for you to know how to wrap” 
“What’s that supposed to mean?” You moved on to the next gift “I mean, all these years I’ve known you, I’ve never seen you fold anything.” He leaned back in his seat; his eyes glued to your hands as they reach out for the tape.
“Technically, there should be no room for you to comment since you know so little of me.”
To your surprise, the conversation flowed well. Considering his witty remarks and rude sarcasm, Draco was actually good company. With your book long forgotten, the only story you acknowledged were the ones coming out of the blonde boys mouth.
“How about animals. What d’you like?” he asked, fingering with the crisp corners of a cylindrical wrapped gift.
“Snakes. Typical for a Slytherin but there’s just something about them that’s intriguing.”
“Care to elaborate?”
“Like, the flowerpot snake which are made up solely off of females and doesn’t need a mate to reproduce yet, they are the most widespread terrestrial snake in the world or- or the fact that a decapitated head of a snake can still bite and hold more venom than usual.”
Draco eyed you as your eyes gleamed from the thought of snakes, subconsciously gesturing with your hands passionately. 
“But I guess the real reason I like snakes is because we used to own one when I was little. Scales. The sweetest little thing that changed my mind completely about them.”
The boy let out a small chuckle, “Scales? Come on y/l/n, there are better names.”
“Hey! I was young and the privilege to get to name her got to me okay.”
“So where’s Scales now?”
Your head ducked, the biggest secret of your life close to slipping from your tongue. “I. It’s- it’s complicated.”
Taking it as a sign, Draco quickly averted the subject knowing he himself wasn’t comfortable with death, -if that was- the case.
The night went on until event he fireplace couldn’t keep up with their company, the fire slowly dimming to a faint, faint glow.
“I should start packing I doubt I can bring much home with all this occupying the space.” He lifted the big bag of presents neatly wrapped because of you. “Will I be seeing you again at the train?”
“No, not this year. I’ll be celebrating it with the elves and most possibly Almost Headless Nick. He pretty good company once you get used to his same performance.” You both giggled at the thought of the ghost boring the students with his same act, only satisfied at the inexperienced first years.
Draco’s heart sank. He tried to push the thought away but after the past couple hours, he regretted not talking to you sooner and now, he had no excuse to use the long ride back home to get to know you better.
“Alright then, I guess I’ll see you after break. Goodnight.”
“Draco wait-“ he barely turned around before your arms encircled around his neck, pulling him into a tight hug. For a while, your heart stammered from his lack of response but instantly relaxed when his hands finally found their way around you. “Thank you for tonight. Like snakes, my perspective changed about you.” 
“Glad to know y/l/n. I’d say the same.” You both pulled away with a smile, neither wanting to end the moment but the quiet whispers of dawn approaching did. You slept that morning with the same smile, completely ignoring the loud shuffling of your dormmates rushing to the station with the bliss you felt for your new acquaintance.
-
Christmas morning felt lonelier than usual, what with barely seven people staying back at Hogwarts, the only sounds coming form the great hall being the quiet clatter of utensils and the elves sweeping the floors.
You sat alone at the table, book in hand. The same book you had that night with Draco, the same book you could never finish because you got distracted every few sentences thinking of the same boy.
Finding it useless to finish the chapter among the small distractions, your feet padded back towards your bedroom, the mound of pillows and blankets ready to sink you in the plush. 
Instead, your eyes caught on your once vacant bedside table that now occupied an envelope with your name neatly written on top.
Your hands quickly fiddled with the seal and a small box dropped onto your lap. Opening the letter you read:
The thought of you spending Christmas alone gutted me so here’s my gift to you. It’s not much but I think you’d like it. It symbolizes how I feel about you. Like snakes, you intrigue me. Looking forward to see you again. Draco. p.s. Tell Nick that his jokes aren’t funny for me. That’s my gift for him.
Your fingers found their way to the box. Sleek with the company’s name engraved on top in gold emboss. As you opened it, the sight of the necklace took your breath away.
Accompanying the silver chain was a delicate snake pendant, its details giving texture as you grazed your thumb around it, completely mesmerized by the thing like it was treasure. You sat there for what could have been hours just staring at the beautiful piece of jewellery before you had the nerve to put it on, the snake sitting beautifully on your chest. 
Like it belonged there.
a/n: anyone else made big writing goals prior to the month and burnt out early + didn’t consider the other responsibilities they have so their whole project just complete failed :( bc IT DO BE ME DOE. 
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kaaytea · 3 years
Note
Can i request some cute reader!manager x Koushu headcanons? With reader being Miyuki's younger sister, who is one of the managers and in first year? Who is close with Koushu as they're each others crush?? Buuuuutts he invites him over for dinner at her place one day (probably during summer break so Miyuki can be there to? XD)
Buuuut like reader is quite insecure about her cookings cause she knows Koushu comes from a wealthy family?
Im sorry if this is to complicated ;;
Bsjdndkdnd an Okumura request! I have been waiting for this day 🤧 I'm sorry this took awhile to get out, I hope you enjoy!
Pt. 2 to this post
Okumura and Miyuki's sister
----------------------------------------------------------
When Okumura has a crush he literally doesn't know what to do with himself
He's not really a 'people person' so having a crush is uncharted territory for him
The only reason he befriended you was because you usually join the first year boys for dinner to work on homework
You noticed that Asada and Okumura were always the last to leave so you took it upon yourself to keep them company
Okumura wasn't really bothered by you, normally you just made friendly conversation with Asada but eventually you were able to coax him into your little conversations
Kinda feel like he wouldn't know you're Miyuki's little sister bc you introduced yourself using your given name rather than your sir name
(Having two Miyuki's on the team could get a little confusing so you just avoided the whole thing and used your given name)
So as far as Koushuu knows you're just a really nice manager who he seems to mesh well with
He would be sO intrigued by you if you drop all the knowledge you had on baseball, especially if it's about the Catchers position
And when he asks you where you learned all that you just
"My brother? Who else would have taught me..." 🤨🧐
It doesn't click and he's just like "Your brother seems very knowledgeable about the sport" 😭
Someone help him because when he learns who exactly this super smart brother is he kinda mentally shuts down
He's chilling on his bunk and you just come into the dorm and say, "Ni-san, can you help me with this math problem?"
AND THEN MIYUKI TURNS TO YOU AND IS LIKE YEAH SURE?!
LIKE WHAT?
The brother you were referring to is Miyuki?! Miyuki Kazuya? The one person at Seidou that aggravates Okumura the most?
Literally didn't see this coming at all. Lord help him when he finally realizes he has a crush on you, any time he interacts with Miyuki is even more of a dumpster fire than it originally was
Kinda soft but bc Koushuu has no idea how to handle crushes he goes to Seto to rant about not knowing what he's doing
Seto hasn't seen Koushuu act this awkward around him in a LONG time so he is vastly amused by these rants
"well she's seen you be hostile around her brother -AND that time you yelled at Sawamura-senpai, if she hasn't left by now things can't really get worse, right?"
".....You're not making me feel any better, Taku"
Seto's trying his best.....Mura is just a very prickly boy
Please he's like blunt and awkward but so incredibly precious 🤧
There was a day it was raining and he just shoved his jacket in your face
It's even funnier bc you had one of those mini umbrellas in your bag but here you are with his jacket draped over your shoulders bc you literally couldn't tell him no
You had asked Okumura if he wanted to meet up during break bc you were going to be bored out of your mind at home
He agreed bc hey, that's quality time he gets to spend with you which is hard to come by at a boarding school
It was hard to tell but Okumura was actually pretty excited to see you
Which kinda made him forget that there was a high chance he'd run into Miyuki
It dawned on him like halfway into his train ride.....let's just say his aura was showing a bit
He brightened up when he met up with you at the station near your house. You had this big smile and you were wearing a blouse that made your eyes pop
Mura felt like he was gonna melt from your happy smile and the cute sparkle in your eyes, there was just something about you that made his heart all fluttery
For most of the day the pair of you walked around the square near your house, dipping in and out of little shops
Okumura was just kinda following your lead but you wanted him to have fun too so you dragged him back to your home where you grabbed the two mitts you'd use to play catch with Kazuya
You could say you accomplished your mission in making sure he had fun as that was the first time you ever saw Okumura laugh
Well it was more of a mix between a huff and a laugh but it was cute none the less :))
You were honestly a bit worried about the dinner situation
Your cooking style was a bit more...humble compared to your brothers. Kazuya liked experimenting with spices and ingredients while you usually stuck to simpler recipes
Not to mention Mura didn't naturally have that big of an appetite
So you were kinda panicking because you wanted him to like the food but also not pressure him into eating it if he wasn't comfortable
And to top everything off Kazuya plopped himself down at the kitchen table claiming he was there to supervise
(He was actually there to make sure Okumura wasn't being handsy with you. Yes Mura was, for the most part, a good kid but Miyuki's older brother instincts were going haywire)
Poor Koushuu kept offering to help you, he was really just trying to not sit across from Miyuki the entire time
Normally Koushuu is able to stand his ground but this time he felt like a fish out of water. Miyuki was watching him and his interactions with you very carefully
You were honestly just trying to cook as fast as you could so you could give Kazuya food and then shove him out of the kitchen to get him away from Mura
The food was done and Kazuya was promptly kicked out of the kitchen by you
Now your last hurdle was Okumura and his weird eating habits
You gave him a smaller portion size than what's usually served at Seidou and he was SO grateful for that
He didn't want to offend you so he made sure to eat all the food (not that it would have been an issue bc he honestly really liked your cooking)
For the first since you met him Okumura actually looked happy while eating (which was a HUGE relief for you)
Mura is literally so sweet, he helped you clean the kitchen after you both finished eating🥺
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uhhhhyandere · 4 years
Note
I love, love, love you ❤️ I was hoping I could request where the main character begs for Yandere Light to let her get a doggo bc she’s so lonely since he made her quit a job. Like full on having a full ass fit. I’m talking full blown brat shit. Just how he would react and what she would have to do to convince him if you catch that drift 😏😉
yeah, i know what i said in my last post. whatever. never believe anything that comes out of my stupid mouth i am the single biggest sob in the universe. 
um… i took this in a… direction to say the least. someone has to stop me from riding suck n’ ride smut bc… it always goes like this. 
next light smut there is going to be ass-eating or i swear to god my name isn’t kerry literally all im thinking about is giving him a rimjob. really. this is where we are at folks. 
warnings: smut, face fucking (oops), dick sucking, sex, rough sex. he not happy boi
word count: 3.5k 
All you did was watch dog videos anymore. Of course, you watched them because you literally had little else to do during the day, but you just… happened to be more open about it when Light came through the door. Did it have anything to do with the fact you’ve been thinking about getting a furry friend to keep you company from the silence of an empty house and the dark recesses of your mind?
No, of course not. It had nothing at all to do with it, and it certainly had nothing to do with the fact that if you ask him directly, he would say no before any more words could breach the air. You would have to be creative, because when Light said “no,” there was no more argument, and you wanted this argument.
“A Pug. Wow. Beautiful.”
“Look, it’s a—it’s a Corgi. Oh my—wow. That’s amazing.”
You’d play around with different sizes.
“This Mastiff? This gentle giant? Can do nothing wrong.”
“This Bichon matches with the snow!”
And you’d talk about listings you just happened to see online from the local shelters.
“This one—wow. All of her shots. She looks so nice. Oh, and potty trained! What a girl. Damn.”
“He’s sitting down—oh a paw. I see a paw. Can he do the other paw? Oh, yes he can. Also has all his shots. Wonderful.”
Considering the man you lived with, you were pretty positive that he figured out your intentions day one or day two max. It’s been about a week since you’ve been… outgoing in your interest. At this point, it was a game as to who would break first. You bet he was waiting for you to get annoyed with his ignoring of anything you said related to the subject with how blatant he was with shirking you off, forcing you to simply ask.
You weren’t going to make it so easy on him. Though he happened to be the king of hiding his emotions, you knew you had to be getting to him. Light would never admit it, and he would certainly never show it. He wanted to keep that satisfaction as far away from you as possible.
So, you turned up the heat.
Before, you would break off the dog topic after a time, wanting to etch it in your daily schedule only bits at a time. Now? It’s the only thing you talk about, no matter the actual subject at hand.
“There’s another event we have to—.”
“The animal shelter is having an event in the park next week for adoptions.”
“I’m going to have to go for groceries soon.”
“Look at this weenie dog dressed in a weenie costume.”
“I—.”
“Doggo cute.”
It was only a matter of time until—.
“This French Bulldog is—.”
“Y/N.” His voice was clear, demanding. Even after all this time, like a teacher scolding elementary students, it immediately brought you to silence. You sat on your shared bed, legs crossed, as he leered down at you from the bathroom. “I would say it was cute at first, but you know it’s a waste of time to try asking anything indirectly. As if I would succumb to your manipulation, but I let you carry on. You would get bored. You would stop and think and realize that it was pointless to keep it up, but you persisted. I thought to myself maybe you were just trying to see if I would crack and give you the satisfaction of indulging in your antics, and I was right.
“It begs the question. Why didn’t you just ask directly? Easy. Because I would say no, and you would be correct. To allow something else besides me your devotion? Not likely. But what? Did you think showing me videos of Shibu Inus and Pomeranians would make me want one first? You have the logic of a six-year-old, Y/N,” Light began to unbutton his shirt, “Did you honestly think it would work? Or did you simply want to get a rise out of me?” He removed the shirt entirely, then lifted his undershirt over his head just as easily. Light tossed the fabric into the hamper, leaving a pale, lithe abdomen on display. He turned to fully face you and took two easy steps forward. “Why would you want one in the first place? Have I not given my fiancée enough attention recently? Is this your way of getting back at me, hm?”
You were almost at an even height to his belt buckle, but you did your best to ignore that as his eyes demanded attention upwards. His gaze was near malicious, but not quite so. Ah. Lascivious. That’s what they were. You swallowed the knot out of your throat.
“Y-you wish.”
“Your hesitation is very resounding. Then, if you’re so sure, indulge me. Don’t tell me you wanted a distraction from your loving husband-to-be. I know you didn’t want something else to focus on besides me when I’m away at work, so tell me. Tell me why you desired a filthy, shedding ball of fur. Your answer may earn you some mercy.”
You unfolded your legs from underneath you as your foot began to numb under the weight of your leg. Your hands glided back and forth on your thighs. Was there a point in lying? No, scratch that. Was there a point in lying to someone who already knew the truth? Well, his own truth that Light would undoubtedly make yours. There was little purpose in making it worse on yourself.
“No, you’re—uh—right.” Light set his hands on his hips.
“Oh?”
“Yeah, I’m just… lonely when you’re at work. So… yeah.” You risked a peek upwards. Oh, geez the smirk on that fucker. “I’m sorry.” His arms rose from his hips to cross over his chest.
“For?”
“Huh?”
“What are you sorry for? Annoying me for days with your drivel? Wanting a mutt? Lying?” You furrowed your brows. “Oh, that one confused you, hm? Alright, well, if you won’t admit it, I can do it for you. Lonely-“ he scoffed- “You can’t be serious. Such a blatant lie from your lips. The second time you are insulting my intelligence. I’ll ask one more time. Where does your motivation lie?”
“I’m not lying!” You hissed, jumping off the mattress to stand. “What—just what am I supposed to do all day cooped up in this place like a goddamned prisoner? Clean? The place is clean. Cook? As if you’d even let me try. Watch TV? My brain is rotting. You don’t even let me help kids with math anymore online. Just what am I to do? Next thing I may just throw myself out the window—,” Hands gripped your shoulders, causing a slight pain at the intensity.
“You think I’d let you? I expect you to stay here and be good and thankful that you are where you are. I, just as much as you, know—knew women who died to be in your shoes, and you’re ungrateful to be alive and safe? You want more?” You tried to shrug out of his grip, and he allowed you to take the steps away from him.
“I’m asking to be a human being, for fuck’s sake! I’m going to sit here and go crazy. Isn’t it enough that I don’t fuck with the rules anymore? I’m quiet. I don’t say anything. I put every façade you ask me to. All I want is something for me! Something to distract me from literally going insane here! To distract me from everything.”
 Light’s eyes sometimes spoke more truth than his mouth ever could. Right about now, the browns were all-consuming, aflame with ire, but his lips were upturned in a challenge.
“A distraction. Caught in a lie, Y/N. Bad form, even for you. After all this time, you still can’t face reality, dearest. I knew you’ve been pitting your mind in some gutter you call the truth. Makes this all easier to accept, but to go to the physical extent? I won’t allow it, and you won’t be able to recess your mind for long, so enjoy that pleasure while you can.” He paused, countenance recessing to something more composed. “You love me, don’t you, Y/N?”
“Yes.” There was no hesitation, no lie in that affirmation. It was the easiest of his questions to answer. “I love you.” Light inhaled deeply, chest flexing with the exhale.
“With love comes compromise, correct?” You responded with a glare. His tone was all too insinuating. “So, let’s compromise, yes? I hate arguing with you.” He reached an arm out, hand open. Your eyes glanced between the extended limb and his eyes before cautiously taking it. His hand squeezed and pulled you in tight. Light twisted and adjusted you so when he fell onto the bed, you landed comfortably on his lap. Releasing your hand, he brought his own up to gingerly glide his fingers across your cheek, a trail of bumps in its wake as it curled into your locks. Almost like a lover. Almost.
His fingers seized the strands and pulled, forcing your head back and opening your neck for his mouth to latch. “Then compromise, dearest. Prove to me what you think you deserve.” He spoke against your skin, open-mouth kisses with a hint of teeth between his words. “And I’ll make judgement.” His hand let go of your hair and traced to the back of your skull to slant your lips onto his impatient ones. The other wrapped itself to pull your body closer until he pushed you off with an unexpected force, almost knocking you to the ground.
From the unbalanced position, you watched him adjust his position to lie in the center of the bed, head angled to watch you from the pillows with both his hands as another cushion for his crown. Light smirked, watching you stand straight. “Well, go on. Compromise.” 
Light was never on the bottom. It was non-negotiable. Being anything else was utterly unacceptable for a god. This situation, despite the physical placement of both bodies, was no different. You may be the one crawling on top of him, fiddling with his belt buckle, but he had every bit of this situation in his control. Under his watchful gaze, you removed the strip of leather and threw it across the room.
“You’re going to have to help me here,” you muttered after undoing the fly. Wordlessly, he obliged, allowing you to slip the trousers off of his person. You glanced at his feet. Thank god he took his shoes off already, so he only lied in his boxers.
No, you would never be accustomed to this.
“You always look like it’s your first time,” he remarked. “As if you haven’t seen my cock before. From my recollection, you should be quite familiar with it by now.” You inhaled sharply. “Unless you don’t want to compro—.”
“Shut up,” you hissed, crawling to straddle his legs. “Just be quiet,” you said more quietly. You reached out to rub the only half-erect cock through the fabric. Only small groans were elicited above you. Light was not a noisy one, to say the least. It took your first, painful, terrible experience of deep-throating to even get him to moan fully.
“Do you think teasing is going to get you anywhere?” His voice is always composed during sex, and it really was alarming because… you really couldn’t relate. You glowered, fingers digging under the waistband and pulling. He helped again, lifting so you can get the fabric off. “If you think you’re doing anything fully clothed, I should take a cold shower.”
You made quick work of taking the layers of comfort clothes you had on, off. “You really know how to put on a show,” he deadpanned.
“Shut. Up.” You returned to your position, seeing his cock now fully erect from your previous work. You were sure you were wet, but you ignored it as best you could. You had a feeling you would not be serviced tonight. Before you can even lean down, he spoke again.
“Beg for it. Beg for the honor of sucking my cock. Convince me you deserve it if you believe you are so entitled.” There was not a single physical restriction to keep you from taking it into your mouth, but his words were powerful enough to keep you still. Light was daring you to try and misbehave, and you really couldn’t help the physical reaction his words always do to you.
“Please—,”
“Pathetic. I can have any girl in my bed. I can stick my cock in any person interested, and here you are, an ungrateful brat who wants more. You’re making quite an unremarkable argument for yourself. Perhaps I will take away—.”
“Please, Light. Allow me the honor of sucking your cock, of you fucking my throat. I want the privilege of swallowing your seed. Fuck—please. I’ll do anything.” You leaned down close, but not touching anything. You only lifted your eyes up to his. “Please. I know I’ve been bad. Please, let me make up for it.”
Your words in bed were always forced. He knew you hated dirty talk as much as you did, therefore he always made you speak, always made you confess how much you craved him, wanted him, and whenever you spoke it was hardly ever in lies. Your embarrassment was too prominent in your body language to tell him otherwise.
“Go on, then. Show me.” You licked up his length first, then around the head and back down. “Teasing will get you nowhere,” he repeated. You resisted the urge to roll your eyes and took him in, inch by inch. Light was incredibly average despite his ego. It wasn’t impossible to fit the entire length into your mouth with slow adjustment, but that didn’t mean it was fun. You would continue to work his length, getting more and less intense with your pressure and the speed your head bobbed. Still, there was little reaction from him, not there really never was any mind the grunts you could make out. Your inclinations to keep going, and you did until you pulled back.
“How’s—,” His hand was at the back of your head immediately, forcing your head back down, pushing his cock down your throat, pushing until you could feel his balls against your chin. No hair. He was pristine down there. You convulsed, gagged, choked, but he did not release his grip. Hand keeping its hold, he dragged your head up just a hair enough to thrust upwards. Water began to pool at the waterline of your eyes. You had to relax your throat, or this was going to be just worse.
But it was hard, so hard at the pace he was thrusting at. You squeezed your eyes shut and took it the best you can. Listening to his quiet grunts and groans, you forced your lips to continue covering your teeth, but you could not force your throat to loosen. Drool pooled at both sides of your mouth, carelessly falling into both him and the sheets along with the liquid of your tears. 
“Your throat is so fucking tight. That’s it. Choke on my cock. This is what your dirty mouth deserves.” Your limited experience could be to blame for its restricting. That, or the selfishness of the man whose grip on your hair tightened even more right before he allowed you to breathe once more.
And breath you did. Gasping, reeling for air as drool continued to leak down. From beneath your hair, you looked at Light, his eyes wild and alive with lust. Small heaves from his smiling mouth mixed with your wet and heavy ones. “Do you think you deserved that, dearest?” You finally wiped your mouth and shook the spit from your arm. “You’re lucky I am so generous. Come. For doing such a decent job.” His hands patted his hips. Swollen eyes met his. “Ride me, before I change my mind and fuck you into the mattress.”
Regaining some semblance of control, you moved to straddle his length. “Oh, your pussy is glistening. Did me fucking your throat really do that much to you? You loved to be controlled, don’t you?” You did not answer, shaky hands guiding his cock so you can sink onto it. You groaned at the feeling. “Tell me how good it makes you feel. How only I can make you feel like this.” You bit your lip, sinking down another inch or so.
“God, Light. Your cock feels so good. Only yours can make me feel like this. No one—no man, no woman, no person—can make me feel anything—like—this—fuck!” You sunk down to the hilt before you lifted yourself again, easing yourself up and down his length. “It’s so good—so good.” Light allowed you more time but decided your gentle pace was not enough to soothe him. He roughly grabbed you and flipped your positions.
“Too slow, Y/N. What did I say about teasing?” He brought his hips back and then snapped them into yours. You screamed, and you wondered if the neighbors would call again, but his pace did not relent.
“Light—please. It’s too—too much! It’s too fast. I can’t…” He smiled, a wicked grin over you.
“And you won’t. Don’t you dare think about cumming. I decided you don’t deserve it. This is your compromise. You get to live, marry, and get fucked by me, and only by me, and I will only have eyes for you. You’ll never feel like you need a… distraction again.” You clenched your teeth and pushed your head farther into the pillows. “I feel you clenching onto me. Don’t you dare think about disobeying me.” His thrusts were even, balanced.
“Please, please, please let me cum. It feels too good. You feel too good. I’ll do anything.”
“Then don’t cum.” You threw your hands back and gripped the headboard, feeling it rock in rhythm to his thrusts. They were beginning to become, sloppy, wild, he was close while you were holding back for dear life. “Y/N. You are mine and mine alone. Your body. Your actions. Your mind. I am the only thing you are allowed to think about.” With one final push, his seed released, filling and coating your insides. He rode it out, making sure every drop stayed. He hated to have to wash the sheets after, though your drool stains remained.
Pulling out, he retreated and stood, ignoring your writing, unfulfilled form. “Come. You aren’t going to sleep like—get those hands away from there. Let’s get you clean before you ruin the sheets even more.” Like before, he extended his hand to your heaving form. “Alright, alright, I’ll take care of you, but you need to get cleaned up first.” An unstable hand fit into his own. His gently pulled you to stand and allowed you to lean your weight onto his.
Hot water cascaded down your body. Though Light effortlessly scrubbed washed his hair, you could not bring yourself to match his speed, and by the time he was already done, you hadn’t even washed your body yet. You heard an incomprehensible mutter amidst the running water as he left you alone. He was washing his face as you finally emerged, wrapped in your towel. No romance tonight, you figured. Not that it was any different than any other night. You followed, brushing your teeth, washing your face, and taking your pills while he huddled in bed.
You could only dream of romance anymore. Getting your pajamas on, you approached the empty side of the bed. Before you could get on, Light shifted, opening his arms and staring at you expectantly. You froze. Did… did he want…? “Well, come on.” Ah. Was this supposed to be the ‘I’ll take care of you,’ he mentioned earlier? You supposed he would never wash you in the shower, so this would have to be it. You swallowed and fell into them, feeling his arm wrap you close to him so you lied nearly on your stomach, face buried in the crook between his neck and shoulders. His arm lied around your neck, the other near your elbow on the arm that sprawled on his chest. Oh, hello? What is this?
Ah. This is the quote-on-quote, attention he promised as a fiancé. His eyes remained closed as you stared. How forced was this? You wondered if he hated it, if he saw it was succumbing to your wishes, but it was unlikely. Perhaps it was him showing the physical love outside of sex that you lacked thinking it would keep you from having another outburst as you did before. Him keeping his side of the compromise so you would keep yours.
You allowed yourself to close your eyes before you thought too hard about his actions. The more you thought about it, the more—and less—real it all became, but if he was offering more conventional couple things: cuddling, dates, attention, you would not pose another argument.
“So, no dog?” you whispered.
924 notes · View notes
whoree321 · 4 years
Text
Bike Lessons (s.r.)
Request: i was wondering if you could write a spencer reid x reader where instead of him getting shot, him and the reader are on a date, riding their bikes and spencer is learning or sumn (bc i kinda get the feeling that he didn’t as a kid), and they are in the park, and spencer looses control and ends up falling with the reader, and you know, he dislocates his knee and the reader her shoulder ( :’D ), and idk maybe emily, penelope, or hotch could be i’m the park at the same time talking to morgan or idk in the phone and they’re like “hold on, some idiot just fell. let me check if they r okay.” and they go and it’s spencer n the reader?
Pairing: Spencer Reid x Fem!Reader
Warnings: None, really. Minor bike accident, dislocated shoulder and knee but nothing described too graphically.
Word Count: 1.6k
Category: Fluff
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“What do you mean you don’t know how to ride a bike!?”
Spencer Reid was many things, but a proud man he was not. Years of school bullying had been combatted by more years of relentless, loving teasing from his coworkers and closest friends, and resulted in a man who could take criticism and jokes at his expense rather well. That did not, however, do anything to stop the burning shame he felt at his girlfriend’s revelation about his biking abilities.
He gave her a sheepish grin before replying, “It’s not that I don’t know how to ride a bike, necessarily. When I was in college, biking was my primary form of transportation as the state of Nevada wouldn’t issue me a license at 14. But I haven’t ridden a bike in almost 15 years. You know, despite the common saying that you never forget how to ride a bike due to muscle memory, studies have shown that…”
As much as she would have loved to listen to what studies had to say about the longevity of muscle memory, Y/N had more pressing information to gather.
Interrupting him, she asked, “So you learned how to ride a bike, you just don’t think you remember how to since it’s been so long?”
“Yes, that’s exactly what I’m saying”
Y/N nodded, a plan for the day quickly forming in her mind.
“Alright,” she said decidedly, “well, good news! Today you’re gonna learn again!”, a cheery grin overtaking her face.
Spencer groaned and hung his head. This was so not how he wanted to spend his rare day off with his beautiful girlfriend. They were always off on gruesome cases, too weary and focused to truly enjoy each other’s company. He had hoped for a calm day inside, maybe read or binge one of their favorite shows and just be with each other. But he recognized that gleam in Y/N’s eyes, could practically feel the excitement radiating off of her, and he knew he’d never in a million years be able to say no and risk being the reason that bright smile faded.
Looking back up, he replied resignedly, “Fine. But I get to choose dinner tonight.”
“Deal!”, she squealed, leaping off the couch and bounding to their shared bedroom.
Laughing lightly at his girlfriend’s childish antics, he got up and followed her, watching as she dug around through her drawers for a pair of leggings. Soon, they were both dressed in casual athletic wear and made their way to a bike rental kiosk that Y/N had found near the park.
Walking their newly rented bikes to the trail, Y/N glanced over at Spencer to see him anxiously chewing on his lip. She could tell he was nervous, probably not wanting to embarrass himself in front of her, but she thought that once he got the hang of it he would really like it, and it would be another activity the two could enjoy together. Smiling at the idea, she stopped once they had gotten to the trail and put the kickstand of her bike down.
“Ok, why don’t you just get on and do your best to ride it like you remember doing before. I know your big ole brain is still storing that info,” Y/N said with smile. Spencer looked between her and the bike a little uncertainly, before she gently added, “I’ll walk next to you just in case things go south.”
This convinced him, and he tentatively got on the bike and started pedaling. His balance was a little off at first, and she could tell that his hand-eye coordination (or lack thereof) was always going to be an issue, but he got the hang of it rather quickly.
“Ok, I think I got it! You can stop walking next to me now, I think there might be one or two people left in park that haven’t seen a grown man being taught to ride a bike like a child,” Spencer told her teasingly, though the triumphant look in his eyes told her how happy he was at catching on with minimal difficulty.
Y/N giggled at his remark. “Ok hot shot, lets take a lap around the park and see if you’re still so cocky.”
The two rode down the trail nearly side by side, Y/N slightly ahead of him but close enough that they could still talk. They made their way smoothly, chatting and laughing, but the peace was not to last.
Looking back at it later, Spencer concluded that it was entirely that damn squirrel’s fault. If that squirrel hadn’t run out onto the sidewalk, he would not have violently swerved into the back wheel of Y/N’s bike, causing them both to lose their balance and harshly crash to the ground, a tangled mess of bike and limbs.
To make matters worse, their misfortune was not without witness. As luck would have it, the BAU’s resident tech genius Penelope Garcia happened to be on an uncharacteristic trip to the park, stuck on a picnic date that that was currently going from bad to worse.
“Derek, I am telling you, this guy is bad, I mean capital B-A-D bad, and not in the good way. He spent 25 minutes telling me about the benefits of intermittent fasting! Fasting, Derek! I couldn’t fast if my life depended on it! I mean, don’t get me wrong I totally respect people that fast for religious reasons, oh my goodness I mean those people are so strong and dedicated I couldn’t imagine doing that! But to fast for literally no reason at all and brag about it on a date!”
Morgan chuckled on the other line. “Where is he now, sweetness?”
“He saw some guys that he knew playing frisbee and went to go say hi and he joined their game and that was like 10 minutes ago. So not only is this guy the most boring conversationalist ever, he’s just straight up rude! I mean, could you imagine taking a girl out on a date and- oh my gosh, these two people just got into a bike accident over on the hiking trail! Oh wow, that did not look pleasant, I would hate to be those two idiots right now.”
Watching the fallen bikers slowly start to move, Garcia gasped as she recognized the brown curly head and the Y/H/C ponytail sticking up from the crash.
“Oh my goodness, Derek I have to go, those are our idiots!”, she exclaimed as she hung up and ran over to her coworkers.
“Reid? Y/L/N? Are you guys ok!? I saw you fall down, are you hurt!?”
Y/N groaned as she sat upright, her shoulder sharply aching. “Penelope, what are you doing here?”, she asked.
Penelope huffed before she answered, “I’m hopefully escaping the worst date in the history of dates, now yes or no, are you ok?”.
“Yeah, Pen, I’m fine, I think I busted my shoulder a little though. Spence, how about you?”, Y/N asked, directing her attention to her grimacing boyfriend.
“I’m ok. That stupid squirrel got in my way and I didn’t want to hit it, I’m sorry,” he replied sheepishly, staring guiltily at Y/N as she attempted to assess the damage to her shoulder.
Garcia helped the pair stand up, and Spencer nearly collapsed again once he put weight on his left leg. Gasping in pain, he looked down to see his knee bent at an angle that could not have been right.
Averting her gaze from his clearly dislocated knee, Garcia helped steady him before declaring, “I need to take you two to a hospital because clearly neither of you are actually fine.”
The two agreed, following Garcia to her car and getting into her backseat. Spencer kept his eyes trained on his hands, guilt at hurting Y/N ailing him far more than his searing knee. He finally looked at her, however, when she reached over and grabbed his hand. Flashing him that dazzling smile from earlier, she leaned over to whisper in his ear.
“Maybe you should have let me walk next to you a little longer,” she offered with a wink, eliciting a chuckle from her boyfriend that warmed her heart.
*DAYS LATER*
“Wait, wait, wait, so you’re telling me that the two of you manage to hunt serial killers generally unscathed for a living, but Pretty Boy here tries to learn how to ride a bike and you walk away with a dislocated shoulder and knee?”, Derek Morgan teased as he watched his two friends enter the bullpen, clad in their respective braces and Spencer hobbling on his crutches.
“Oh I could just kill Garcia! I told her the story she was supposed to tell you all was that we got injured stopping the mob from robbing a bank,” Y/N replied dejectedly.
“Sorry kitty cat, I just happened to be on the phone with her when it happened,” he explained bemusedly.
“Besides, Y/N/N, it’s pretty unrealistic that any mob would be robbing a bank in broad daylight, and statistically improbable that we would just so happen to walk into it and be capable of stopping it,” Spencer chimed in cheekily, knowing how much his logical debunking of her story would rile her up.
Y/N glared at him before answering. “You know what, I’m glad the squirrel did this to you. I might have been collateral damage, but you deserved it.” She sat at her desk, but not without giving him a small glance and playful grin to let him know she was joking.
Spencer simply rolled his eyes and took a seat at his own desk, although he couldn’t help but feel pretty good about how things had turned out. He may have been bested by a squirrel and a bike, but he would get to spend the next few weeks on desk duty with his favorite person. And Y/N would probably never make him ride a bike again.
It definitely turned out pretty good.
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shallanspren · 4 years
Note
What is Priory of the Orange Tree about? I just know that two of the main characters are lesbians.
one of the reviews on amazon said that there was too much gay pining, so that should tell you something. 
i’m actually not done reading it (which tells you how good it is bc i NEVER tell anyone to read books i haven’t finished) but it’s high fantasy. and it’s a stand alone book. it’s written by samantha shannon.
there are two main regions: the west and the east. the west is mostly dominated by a religion that is very much modeled after catholicism, but instead of jesus, they worship a figure called the saint. the saint apparently banished a great evil being called the nameless one over a thousand years ago (spoiler alert you find out in the first couple chapters that he didn’t actually do shit, he just took credit for what a woman did in typical male fashion. his decedents have always been women, they rule a queendom and are almost considered sacred bc of their relation to the saint. it is the belief of those who practice this particular religion that so long as the saint’s line continues, the nameless one cannot return.
in the east, they worship dragons (which the west hates so the two regions donut get along). one of the main characters in the east is training in the hopes that she’s god chosen, which means she gets to ride a dragon. the other is a man who was exiled from the west and wishes to go back home but he doesn’t have a way to do that yet. but he’s an alchemist. 
both the east and the west fear the nameless one. there are some characters in the book who are trying to unite both regions because they feel that the nameless one is returning soon, and uniting them both, and having the power of the dragons, is the best shot at defeating the nameless one.
then there is the priory of the orange tree, which resides in the south (which is on the west side but doesn’t follow the same religion as most of the west). they follow the mother. the one who really defeated the nameless one the first time. i’ve just met the priory in the book so idk the intricacies of it. but they do magic and other cool shit. one of the main characters is a part of the priory.
aside from that, it’s set in a world where homosexuality isn’t a big deal. like really one of the queens married a woman not long after her male companion died, and she’d already done her duty in having another daughter to continue the line once she died. nobody gave a shit she married a woman. the alchemist is gay, he would’ve married his lover had his lover not been betrothed to someone else when they met. 
racism too is just like?? idk her? the east fears westerners coming in but not bc of skin color, it’s because the westerners sometimes carry a deadly plague with them that the east eradicated. there is also some religion based bigotry bc ofc there is. sexism also is not really a thing? like clearly the saint sucked, but nobody bats an eye at a woman ruling or fighting or anything. 
relationships too are just? so great. like i haven’t gotten to the point where the two lesbians are together yet, but my friend who has already read the book many times assures me that the relationship is so tender. there are other characters that i’ve yet to actually see interact in the book bc they are separated by distance, but when they remember each other, it’s with such fondness and i really feel their dynamic. it’s great. characters in general are all very interesting and varied. they all have flaws, they all have already made some pretty big mistakes, and they’ve had some good victories too. there are some characters i enjoy more than others, but none of the four pov characters are boring at all. i’m throughly enjoying my read, and really my life is fucking hectic right now, but i still work in reading time when i can bc it’s just that good.
i cannot stop thinking about it. 
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mirohed · 5 years
Text
kim seunghun | love me, love me not
Tumblr media
pairing: kim seunghun + gender neutral reader
wc: 3.7k
genre: hanahaki au + angst 
synopsis: daffodils represent unrequited love. is that why you keep coughing them up?
warnings: implications of suggestive content, descriptions of illness (and mention of surgery), mention of alcohol
playlist: love me, love me not.
a/n: happy birthday to me!! im glad i finally got to finish and post this (its,,, been in my wips since at least february LMAO) !! they prob wont read this but i wanted to thank my irls for dealing w me and my kpop bullshit (esp bc none of them stan ygtb 😔)
It's getting worse.
Your knuckles turn white, gripping the porcelain of the toilet. Tears and blood alike fall into the bowl, disturbing the gentle peace of the water. You pound at your chest, the action causing you to hack up yellow daffodil petals stained suspicious red. It's a monotonous process at this point. Pound. Cough. Pound. Cough. Repeat until the damned coughing stops.
It takes ten minutes before you return to normal. Or at least as normal as you can get. You got lucky this time.
You watch the petals spiral downward into the gaping hole in the toilet and get flushed away.
Being with Seunghun wasn't always accompanied by a tightness in your chest and petals tickling your throat.
june 19, 2005; 2:52 PM.
"I wanna grow up," you had grumbled, your hands squeezed around the chains of the swingset. You and Seunghun had been riding your bikes for the first time since getting the training wheels off. You had sped down a hill ("First one down’s a rotten egg!") and lost control, falling off and scraping your knee on the pavement. He rushed you to your parents' house, supporting your weight with an arm around your waist. The two of you had settled for playing on the swingset in your backyard instead.
"Me too," he said. "I think." He'd been rocking forward and backward on the swing, eyes focused on the blades of grass underfoot.
"You think?"
"I don't know." You stayed silent, trying to gain as much height as possible with your uninjured leg. "I don't wanna grow up and stop being friends." That got you to stop right in your tracks, your leg planted on the ground.
"What?" You sent an incredulous look his way. "Why would we stop being friends?"
He had let go of the swing, his hands finding his lap. "Some of the older kids stopped being friends when they grew up," he mumbled. "I don't wanna stop being friends, but neither did they..."
You got off the swing, limping over to him and wrapping Seunghun in the biggest hug your six-year-old arms could muster.
"We're gonna be best friends forever. Don't forget that."
"Best friends forever." If he wrapped his arms tighter around you then, you didn’t pick up on it.
[09:54 PM] huniebee🐝: i had fun today :^))
[09:54 PM] huniebee🐝: i wanna adopt a puppy!!
[09:55 PM] huniebee🐝: will you promise to help me take care of it
You brighten as the messages come in, your phone's vibrations distracting you from the way your throat clogs.
[09:56 PM] you: ofc
[09:56 PM] you: well be the best puppy parents the worlds ever seen
[09:57 PM] huniebee🐝: wait i need to send the pics from the pet shelter
[Attachment: 8 images]
You save each picture, cooing over the puppies you got to meet. This time, you only get a precious few minutes of relative clarity before things get too distracting to ignore. You return to the bathroom with a resigned sigh that devolves into a fit of coughs.
You cough and retch and cough some more. By the time you're done, there are less petals and more blood in the toilet bowl. Your chest still feels full of something you can't quite spit out.
Then you hack up something new: a bloody stem with wet flowers still attached.
There's nothing left to do but cry, your whole body wracked with pain both physical and emotional.
august 29, 2011; 3:15 PM.
"Today was fun," you said, making yourself right at home on Seunghun's bed. Your new backpack hadn't lasted more than a couple minutes in his house before getting neglected on his carpet. Your best friend hummed in acknowledgement, already sitting at his desk with his workbook out. "I'm glad we got to meet some new people," you continued, "but that Hyunsuk guy? Seems like a major pain in the ass."
"Give him a chance."
"I know, I know. I will. But still," you huffed, “it was his first day too. No need to act like a know-it-all."
"I know. But it's the first day. Maybe he'll even himself out with time."
The conversation ended there, and you spent some time staring at his ceiling fan, the blades going round and round in a big, beautiful blur. Before long, you had grown bored, looking over at him only to see his pencil flying across the paper.
"Hey. Let's go to the mall and get pretzels." Seunghun spun around to face you, a foot stopping his chair from going too far.
"Sure," he gave a placid smile. "Do your work first."
You groaned as loudly as you could, sounding much like a petulant child straight out of elementary school. (Which was more or less the truth, but you thought you were better than that.) After a few minutes of uninterrupted whining and failing to get Seunghun to break, you spoke up. "Why do I need to do my work? You're Mr. Hardworking, Mr. Teacher's Pet."
"We're in middle school now," he had said, and you remember thinking you were in for a long lecture, "and pretty soon, we're gonna have to go to high school and take entrance exams and decide which university we want to go to and..." He averted his gaze, put down his pen. "We need to start growing up."
"We're still young," you reasoned, sitting up and letting your legs dangle off the side of his bed. "If anything, this is our time to experience things and, you know, make mistakes before we become adults!"
He was silent for a few long, agonizing moments, long enough to make you think you'd won. The pretzels were within reach; all you had to do was ask for them.
"I call a compromise."
Shit. Compromises were common in your friendship. Seunghun was always a little too good at stopping you from making stupid decisions. The worst part was that you could never argue with them. "We go to the mall to get pretzels—my treat—if, and only if, you do your work. We don't go until we're both finished. Deal?"
You opened your mouth, determined to pick the proposal apart, but his reasoning was (unpleasant, yet) bulletproof. Instead, you reached for your backpack with a heavy sigh. "First of all, fuck you. Second of all," you said, tugging your own workbook out, "you're impossible."
"I know. Do your work."
"Fine."
The math problems had been difficult, definitely harder than you were used to, but doable. If anything, the greasy mall pretzels that were way too salty to be healthy made it all worth it.
Seunghun gets understandably very worried when you text him from the hospital, but he comes to see you nonetheless. In his arms is a bouquet of daffodils.
"They symbolize friendship," he says, setting it down on the table next to you. You stare at the pristine yellow petals and flatten your lips in a tight smile. How ironic, you think, that he doesn't know they also symbolize unrequited love.
"The doctors wouldn't tell me why you're here. Classified information, they said." That much is true; nor much is known about the disease outside of shitty romance movies with unrealistically happy endings. Seunghun always believed in them. You never did.
You don't think your story's gonna have a happy ending.
You didn't want him to know anyway, lest he worry. (And you don't want to think about what would happen to your friendship if he found out he was the cause of it all.) "You don't have to tell me," he begins, sitting himself down on one of those rigid hospital chairs, "I just wanna know if it's bad. Like, well...you know.” He lowers his voice to a whisper. “Terminal."
"Like if I'm gonna die?"
"Yeah," he rubs the nape of his neck, a bit abashed, "more or less."
"I don't know. Sure hope not," you chuckle. That brings on a coughing fit, and Seunghun looks on, brows knit together. He moves close to offer what little comfort he can, but you hold your hand up to stop him; having him near will only make things worse.
Petals threaten to spill out of your mouth, and panic bubbles in your chest when he asks if you're okay. Your doctor, bless her, chooses that moment to enter. She shooes him out "to speak to you in private." Seunghun, to his credit, obliges and flashes you a smile and a thumbs-up as he goes. You try to mirror his expression (and hope your smile isn't more of a grimace).
The door closes behind him with a soft click. "Friend of yours?" the doctor asks.
You spit the blood-stained petals into your hand, your doctor graciously looking the other way as you toss them into the trash. "You could say that."
october 4, 2013; 5:11 PM.
You tugged at your clothing, feeling more than a little uncomfortable as you waited for your best friend to show up. The DJ, a former student, was already hard at work inside the gym. You heard the bass-boosted beginning of the Cupid Shuffle and shot a frantic text to Seunghun.
[05:11 PM] you: holy shit theyre playing the cupid shuffle can you PLEASE hurry up
[05:12 PM] you: idc if this is our first homecoming you better get your ass over here
[05:12 PM] huniebee🐝: give me like two minutes!!
[05:12 PM] you: THE SONGS GONNA BE OVER IN 2 MIN
"Are you waiting for Seunghun?" Hyunsuk had asked, tie already loosened. You two had gotten close—not as close as you and Seunghun, of course—this year as a result of having classes together. You wondered why you ever hated him.
"Yeah. He won't be too late, thank God, but I'm pissed we're missing the Cupid Shuffle. What about you? I remember you bragging all week about 'flexing your dance skills in front of the ladies.' Or are you all talk, as usual?"
"You know, it's almost like you don't want me to wait with you."
You had laughed, knocking your shoulder into his. The chatter kept up for a minute or two before he made his leave. ("Well, it's time for me to flex my dance muscles in front of the seniors," he chuckled, giving you a salute as he walked off.)
"I'm here! God, I can't believe I missed the Cupid Shuffle," Seunghun said, head hung low. You began to feel a little self-conscious; you were feeling out of place in your semi-formal outfit, yet he looked right at home in his dress shirt.
Chasing those thoughts away, you grinned. "You're here now, aren't you? Come on." You took his hand and dragged him into the gym.
You don't talk to Seunghun or to Hyunsuk after that. You're not sure if you should tell Hyunsuk about the whole situation when he texts you. Seunghun must have told him something was up, of course, and he's insightful enough, sensitive enough (when he wants to be), but you worry. You're afraid he'll open his big mouth. Instead, you send a few messages to your best friend.
[04:29 AM] you: hey
[04:29 AM] you: i just wanted to say in advance that im sorry
[04:29 AM] you: im so so sorry for everything ive done and for what im about to do
There's one last message in the text box, daring you to send it. "I'm sorry I love you," you whisper instead, deleting the message before you do something you’ll regret. To seal the deal, you tap through a few menus until you reach his contact. The picture you've assigned to him is one you took; he's about to take a big bite of cotton candy bigger than his head.
With a heavy heart (though you hope it’s just the weight of the daffodils in your chest), you block his contact. It's better this way. It has to be.
Your doctor said you could get rid of the thick, thorned vines with a vicegrip around your heart and lungs, could pluck the flowers that threaten to spill out at the mere thought of your best friend.
The biggest side effect of it all, she told you, was that you'd forget all about Kim Seunghun. So you steel yourself.
The last thing you think about before they insert the thin needle of anesthesia in your veins is Seunghun's smile, and how you'll never see it in person again.
And how even if you did, you wouldn't remember it as the grin from the boy you love.
october 4, 2013; 9:16 PM.
The frenetic strobe lighting in the gym slowed to a stop, having been replaced with a spotlight making lazy rounds through the gym.
You knew that marked the beginning of a slow song, and dragged Seunghun off the floor in search of some punch. He seemed to have different plans, tugging you back on the floor and pulling you flush against him.
"Where are you going?" he had asked. "You're the one who wanted to dance the night away." His hands found your waist, yours instinctively folding behind his neck. You had wanted to say something about how that claim was void now; he was the one that made you miss the Cupid Shuffle, but the words get extinguished when you look at him.
It was just like that time you practiced in fifth grade, but you swore there was something different about tonight and the way you swayed. You thought back to your practice session in fifth grade, how you had stepped on each other's feet, how you spent the whole time laughing. (For the record, it wasn't for any lack of balance; you started it, laughing as he cried out before he stomped on your toe.)
There was no laughing during the song. Everything was vibrant and deafening and there all at once. But at the same time, it was like everything had been stripped away. Everything but you and Seunghun.
Things changed after that. You were left with a dizzying, free-fall sort of feeling that picked up with each glance at your best friend. Almost every butterfly in the world was taking current residency in your stomach, making you feel light as your body moved to the music. Before long, there was something lodged at the back of your throat, nudging its way forward.
"I'm gonna go to the bathroom real quick," you said, a particularly heavy cough bringing the mysterious lump to your mouth.
Running your tongue along the smooth texture of the lump (okay, so not phlegm), you spat the offending object into the sink: a single yellow petal, coated in saliva.
You blinked.
Blinked again.
"Oh, what the fuck," you muttered, unlocking your phone. One quick Google search later—why the fuck am i coughing up flowers—you found an answer.
Flora mortem. You were loath to believe WebMD, of all things, but you found yourself tapping the link regardless. There was another term for the rare disease: Hanahaki.
Revising your search query was a mistake. The first result was the "hanahaki" tag on Tumblr, which showed nothing but models with tears in their eyes and bloodied flowers in their mouths. Yikes.
You made your way back to the party after that, but lingering in the back of your mind was the cause of the disease: a severe case of unrequited love.
There is only one definite cure for Hanahaki Disease: having the object of the afflicted's affections return their feelings.
You almost manage to purge the petal and the stupid WebMD page from your mind for the rest of the night.
Almost.
You wake up hours later. It's a little disorienting, sure, to come to with little memory of what landed you in the hospital. You peek under the oversized hospital gown to see bandages over your chest, get tempted to rip the IV drip from your arm. The doctor comes in right before you make a move on the needle. She tells you all about how the flowers in your lungs are gone for good.
"You're saved. But the final test," she says, pulling a phone from her pocket, "is this. Do you recognize the people in this picture?"
You recognize yourself next to a boy you don't know. His hand's around your waist, pulling you close. You wear matching grins. Given the way you're both dressed, you suspect the picture's from your freshman year's homecoming dance. Weird. Memory's kinda fuzzy from that night.
"Yeah. Myself. I don't know the other guy. Am I supposed to?"
"No. You're not. Congratulations," she smiles, placing a hand on your shoulder. "You're cured."
You look through all the old messages and pictures when you have some time to yourself. You reach out for the memory, the feeling of knowing Kim Seunghun. You get nothing, and while your brain knows something's wrong, you're more concerned about being able to breathe easy.
You move to a new city, far, far away from the place you grew up in. You finish your last year of high school, get a job, start college. You make new memories with new people. You forget all about Kim Seunghun.
It gets easy to forget that you weren't born with the ugly faded red scars that run up and down your chest. It's your only remaining tie to the man you loved so much you almost let yourself wither away. You think it's a good thing you cut him off; why stick around, why force yourself to suffer, for someone who doesn't love you back? Why be with someone if it physically hurts to stay by their side?
But sometimes you wonder. What happened? What happened to him after his best friend walked out of his life for good with no explanation?
Those days are never good. You distract yourself then, often with the familiar kick of alcohol burning in the back of your throat. You've never been much of a drinker, but you figure it's never too late to start.
Sometimes, the distraction comes from being in the arms of another.
(One of your favorite distractions, a young man named Byounggon, had run his fingers along the angry lines one night, jotting them down in his map of your body.
"Do you regret it?" he asked then, eyes half-lidded with drowsiness. You cupped his cheek, ran a thumb along the planes of his face.
"I wouldn't be here if I regretted it, now would I?" He let the corners of his mouth turn up just so, pressing his lips to yours.
You don't talk to him much nowadays, your interactions reduced to likes on Instagram, views on Snapchat. He's moved to a bigger city. "More opportunities," he said. You keep up with his dream of being a musician, always. There was a time when you were his number one supporter, after all.)
"Will that be all?" the cashier asks, jotting your order on the plastic cup. When you nod, he asks for your name. He jots that down too.
But then his eyes widen and he looks at you with renewed interest. "I'm sorry?"
"Is there a problem?" you asks, peering at your name (spelled correctly) on the cup. His eyes search for an answer within yours, some sort of explanation you can't seem to give. He averts his gaze, shakes his head, places your cup in the queue of orders.
"I'm sorry," he says. "Just thought you were someone I knew. Have a nice day." You parrot the phrase, catching a glimpse of the young man's name tag.
Seunghun, it reads in cheerful yellow. There's a doodle of a puppy in the top right corner. You think it's rather cute.
Two weeks later, you meet Seunghun again. This time, you're out for a morning jog. The crisp autumn air greets you as your feet meet the pavement and let out a satisfactory crunch under the burnt orange leaves on the sidewalk.
You both get stopped at the crosswalk, waiting for the light to change. While you catch your breath, you don't miss the way he flinches, as though he didn't expect you to show up. He schools his expression into something friendly within no time, and you wonder if you imagined the whole thing.
"The weather's nice, isn't it?"
"It is," you pant. "On your way to work?" He raises a hand to tug at the strap of his backpack with a small smile.
"Yeah. You should come by, give us business," he grins. "On mornings like this, I recommend the hazelnut latte." You hum in agreement, not yet recovered enough to converse. "Tell you what, you come and get one when I'm working, I'll make sure it's on the house."
"Really? Maybe I'll swing by." The light changes, and you leave Seunghun behind, waving goodbye as you do.
You come in later that day, ordering a hazelnut latte as promised. Seunghun's manning the register, same as two weeks ago, and when he takes everything down, he smiles. You miss it as you pay, but there's something extra on your cup.
As you take a sip of the (delicious; his coworker Yedam must be some sort of brewing prodigy) latte, you catch a glimpse of the extra writing.
Along the side of the cup is his phone number.
[10:58 PM] seunghun!: more than anything i want to adopt a puppy
[10:59 PM] seunghun!: or rather another one
[10:59 PM] seunghun!: i named this one after an old friend
[Attachment: 1 image]
The picture of Seunghun and his dog brings a smile to your face. You've been spending more time with him recently, whether it be going on coffee runs ("Are you sure you're not just using me for my employee discount?") or complaining about life as a broke college student ("My card got declined trying to buy a bag of chips last night...").
It's nice. Spending time with him is...nice.
It's more than a simple distraction, somebody to hold close on nights your decisions try to haunt you. It’s friendship, something to hold onto when you lose your way in the dense forest of your mind and to cherish when you manage to make it to a clearing and bask in the sunshine.
You've caught a cold recently (probably from that bastard Seo Changbin in your communications class). Seunghun's given you some homemade tea, swearing on its usefulness. It certainly tastes good, the sweet honey chased by tangy lemon. Unfortunately, the tea isn't able to stop the persistent cough you've been plagued with.
Feeling phlegm start to come up, you turn the bathroom lights on, hacking it up and spitting into the sink.
Huh. That's weird.
There's no phlegm.
The only thing in the sink is a single golden petal, coated in saliva.
82 notes · View notes
bthump · 5 years
Note
what are the things you like and dislike about the '97 anime and the films?
ty for asking, i’m just gonna write a few long lists lol
97 anime likes:
the animation, including the like, yk the more detailed stills they pan over in place of action or to punctuate important moments, i love it
the gorgeous backgrounds
most of the colour choices. red eclipse, femto’s blue eyes, casca’s skintone, griffith’s mauve clothes, etc.
how close it is to the manga. like, it’s a solid adaption just by virtue of making very few changes.
so like, most of it really, because i like the manga
special mention to the entire lead up to the eclipse from griffith’s reality break to the sacrifice tho, because i think that was all pretty damn perfect. it’s the most important scene and they did it right.
actually also shout out to casca’s flashback to griffith and the dead kid, gennon, the river scene, all that. another difficult v emotional sequence that they nailed imo.
griffith thinking about how he “loves” guts during the monologue
skipped most of the griffith/charlotte sex scene iirc which i approve of
the glimpse of black swordsman guts in ep 1. it’s not perfect but it’s way better than the ovas starting w/ 15 yr old guts
the opening and closing themes. fucking love both songs ngl
also the opening monologue. never get tired of hearing it
the score
the portrayal of griffith was honestly pretty solid imo. i have very few issues there. and lbr that’s important lol
97 anime dislikes:
not a big fan of griffith or guts’ character designs.
just about everything that isn’t identical to the manga is a change for the worse
turned griffith’s scratch marks into that giant unexplained scar
adding extra scenes where casca is secretly impressed with guts’ skills in battle in an attempt to build up their relationship better, which instead just made casca look unfair for still being a dick to him for 3 years and made guts stupidly gary stu-ish
obviously the straightforwardly romantic portrayal of guts and casca’s relationship
through several seemingly minor changes (eg, skipping guts’ night of self-doubt after he leaves, giving guts’ stay with godo its own half-episode, making guts inviting casca along super romantic rather than the incredibly casual and assholish way he does it in the manga, etc) it makes Guts’ dream seem legitimately noble and worthwhile, with none of the like… implicit critique the manga has. like honestly it completely fucks up what i consider one of the central themes of the story lol
the pre eclipse stuff also fails to sell guts’ sense of regret - through things like playing guts’ theme while judeau is telling guts to leave, not repeating guts’ statement of regret after casca tells him to leave again, the tone remains consistently in favour of guts’ dream. wrong and bad.
like it really reads like the suggested tragedy is that guts doesn’t get the chance to ditch griffith with judeau and take off with casca and the raiders lol
also fucks it up by never directly mentioning guts’ csa trauma
also fucks it up by losing guts’ self-destructive single-minded urge to fight monsters that we saw thru the wyald stuff. i’m not gonna say that losing wyald was a bad decision, but they should’ve at least moved erika suggesting that guts just wants to fight zodd again to the fucking waterfall scene in question, which they portrayed completely sans zodd discussion, completely sans implication of the self-destructiveness of guts’ dream
like in the manga he nearly gets killed by the falling logs and just laughs it off like a dumbass while erika is concerned and suggests that guts is driven by something irrational and not actually a ~noble~ dream, ie, wanting to fight zodd again (ie, going deeper, his csa trauma), while in the anime we get a 2nd scene where he successfully slices through the logs as a super basic symbol of growth and a narrative pat on guts’ back that shouldn’t be there!
honestly just fucking everything about the portrayal of guts’ dream lol it just takes it at face value in a way the manga consistently never did and always undermined and critiqued, and it bugs the hell out of me.
guts is just drawn in a way that makes him look angry way too often and he often feels ooc to me bc of it. like he lacks a lot of the warmth he has in the manga imo
showing that griffith is awake when guts says “i’ll stay too” even tho in the manga those words are placed over a panel of him asleep for a reason like, ffs
lots of other random nitpicky details that only i give a fuck about because my opinions and feelings about the story are too strong lol. like not showing griffith’s face when he asks if guts thinks he’s cruel
oh huge one: moving the scene where the torturer rips off griffith’s behelit from about a day after he was imprisoned to right before his rescue. completely trivializes griffith’s torture because it still looks like he’s been in there for a day at most
why on earth did it end where it ended????????????? who’s bright idea was that? the perfect ending is skull knight riding tf out with guts and casca and femto not killing them, but then they also cut out skull knight’s first appearance so idfk man.
oh some downplaying of griffguts, like i can’t complain too much about this because it was still p homoerotic, but things like omitting guts assuming griffith wants to fuck him right before their first duel. boo.
ultimately at the end of the day as much as i do genuinely like the anime, it’s not telling quite the same story the manga was - the story it’s telling is more boring and basic. but because it sticks so close to the manga the good story still shines through? it just means there’s inconsistent tone choices and stuff, like the aforementioned grievances.
it’s like, they kept casca’s diatribe at guts line for line while she’s screaming that griffith needed him and a man can’t live on dreams alone, but they don’t extend that train of thought to guts going off to pursue his dream, while the manga does.
anyway despite that giant list of dislikes i still think the anime is pretty fantastic overall. i just also like, blame it for a lot of wrong fandom takes lol.
movie likes:
character designs! honestly imo everyone looked pretty great.
they played up the homoeroticism and i appreciate that
illustrating griffith being torn between guts and his dream through that lovely moment when he catches guts when he nearly falls off the stairs right before he catches charlotte, and in a more romantically suggestive way
the whole scene where griffith shows up at charlotte’s window thoroughly improved on the manga, so hats off there. loved how completely out of it he was to the point where he barely realized where he was and immediately turned to leave when charlotte was like ‘woah dude wtf,’ love that charlotte was the one to ask him to stay and then physically move his hand back to her tit, love how emphatically griffith was thinking about guts during that sex scene, etc. like it’s still not perfect, but it is a vast improvement.
griffith showing up in person after the hundred man fight was a nice touch
it was cool that they got a lot of the same english vas from the anime dub back, and they all did a gr8 job. like it’s a pretty good dub imo.
i liked that they moved ‘the crystalization of your last tear shed’ to after guts’ post-eclipse breakdown
compared to the anime at least gtsca was more low-key and chill rather than dramatically romantic. still don’t want it there, and still not as… unromantic as the manga, but i’ll take what i can get
the animation during griffith’s transformation into femto, yk that whole sequence, was cool
slan’s english voice was super sexy
ummmmm i feel like they conveyed the whole dreams are stupid theme, and guts’ decision to leave being a mistake, better than the anime? like i got the sense that the ova ppl recognized that was a theme, at least. i’d have to watch them again to really be sure of that tho
movie dislikes:
GRIFFITH’S. NARRATIVE.
like holy fuck they completely destroyed his character lmao
i cannot believe
no backstory! no tombstone of flame! no ‘do you think i’m cruel?’ THAT WAS THE REASON HE MADE THE SACRIFICE FFS HOW DO YOU SKIP IT????
no dead kid angst, gennon only in vague implication, no self harm - oh no wait we saw self inflicted scratches, they were just completely contextless and meaningless to the point where we could assume charlotte’s nails made them
no torture chamber monologue
no guts monologue in the tavern either for that matter
no rooftop scene
again barely the implication of guts’ childhood trauma, both the sexual abuse and the general parental abuse. one vague flashbacky nightmare doesn’t cut it, it’s the cornerstone of the story
like i get it, it’s a movie trilogy, you have to cut some things, but goddamn, cut out gtsca. trim the hundred man fight. add 20 minutes to the first ova and take the insanely long rape scene out of the third. trim down the whole eclipse sequence. don’t cut out like… the story. like they cut out SO MANY emotionally relevant scenes and kept so many much less relevant scenes, idek.
and like let’s be real here, they turned griffith from an immensely interesting and complex character into a 1 dimensional dude who is torn between a vaguely evil ambition and being in vaguely evil love with guts, just for the sake of streamlining the least interesting aspects of the story
they don’t even try to pretend otherwise lol, look at his fucking hilarious evil smile here
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also while i’m looking at it, in general i think they failed at the whole eclipse sequence. looks, lighting, colour, build up of tension… there are a few minor improvements here and there (eg casca’s point of view shot of femto, femto telekinesising guts back a la the black swordsman arc which emphasizes his failure to act when he escapes), but overall it doesn’t work for me at all. like imo the anime has the exact same highs and lows as the manga, but while the ova avoids some lows it never reaches those highs.
they also had griffith overhear guts saying he wants to stay. i really don’t get why this happened twice lol, like… ok his face is kind of shadowed here but he’s still very clearly asleep? this is an important detail, guts’ interrupted words are even on that very panel, so why would you go out of your way to show that he’s awake and listening at that point.
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the pacing sucked. 3rd movie was too long, 1st was too short, and they skipped waaaaaay too many significant scenes that should’ve been there as emotional beats
honestly the movies are pretty, they’re nicely fanservicey in ways, they capture some good subtleties and nuances at times, but they’re a husk of the story
oh did i mention the music during the eclipse rape? incredible.
also i am actually generally positive about the movies too despite what it seems like here lmao. i’ve watched them all like, 3 or more times and i find them v enjoyable.
i just have a way easier time listing nitpicky flaws than positives honestly. the flaws stand out to me, the virtues pass me by because i’m just enjoying them and not dwelling on them
and lbr here at the end of the day no adaption will ever really satisfy me unless i somehow find several million dollars lying around and make my own lol. and that would probably be a flop anyway.
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dcrothy · 6 years
Text
hello friends !! it’s ya hoe moose (she/her) & i’m 21 and chillin over in the cst. i’m jazzed af to join this lovely group and rp with u all !! my gal dorothy here is a semi-new muse & i’m still working some stuff out with her but.....hopefully u like her anyway lmaooo. i would love love love to plot with u all so feel free to HMU or just LIKE THIS and i’ll come to you !! if you prefer to chat on discord just hmu on there instead, that’s chill with me. also bc i am such a.....pinterest hoe u can catch her board HERE !! more info abt her under the cut of course~
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[ kristine froseth, cisfemale, she/her, 20 ] GINGER by THE FRONT BOTTOMS? whenever i hear that song, it reminds me of DOROTHY LINDVIG. maybe because they’re VIVACIOUS but also ALOOF. they’ve been living at mulberry apartments since AUGUST of 2016 in 410 and have 1 ROOMMATE. 
tw: trauma, eating disorder, drug use !!
ok so !!!! first thing’s first, she usually does by the nickname dolly. but she doesn’t care too much abt what u call her u can call her fuckass and she’d just be like what’s up
she’s a town native !!! grew up in a shitty area w a kind of shitty family. parents were never around, always off on benders or just....generally bein shitty parents. dolly & her older brother had to learn how to take care of themselves when they were pretty young and they’ve always done just fine. they didn’t have a lot of money so dolly got pretty good at playing up the cute lil girl role and getting free stuff out of ppl
as much as she claims she relies only on herself, she also relies heavily on the kindness of strangers bc without them she definitely would have gone hungry for real
in order to stay away from her house as much as possible she would hang out at the skating rink as a kid & eventually after stealing a pair of skates from the lost & found she taught herself how to skate & eventually figure skate as well. she’s always wanted to go pro but.....obviously couldn’t afford the training
her brother used to throw pretty big ragers in their place when their parents were gone so......she started drinking & doing drugs at a pretty young age & just generally hanging out with ppl who were much older than her & v bad influences.
trauma tw !! it was at one of these parties that she had a traumatic experience w one of her brother’s friends. she was 13 and she still hasn’t told anyone about what happened. it happened on more than one occasion and her brother is still friends w this boy so she just.....does her best to avoid him & pretend that nothing ever happened bc she refuses to acknowledge her trauma
she was pretty popular in school but never rly felt like she had any true friends ??? none of her relationships were all that deep and she mostly just hung out with people to get free stuff LMAO and like rides places i guess
but she does have her lil group of friends that she truly cares abt and when she actually cares abt u.......she’s around for LIFE u cant get rid of her sorry
she got emancipated when she was 16 and has been living on her own ever since. at first she’d would just stay at friend’s houses and sleep on their couches, but that stopped when she finally got a job at the skating rink teaching kids how to skate & got a new place to live. she’s been chillin working there and living in the apartment building for a couple of years now
despite the fact she has a job, a good portion of her income doesn’t even rly come from that ??? she has......a sugar daddy who finances most of her spending
that is.....a v brief outline of her life up until this point but imma talk a bit abt her personality now
she is.....very magnetic tbH. knows how to draw in a group and keep them interested
knows how to bat her eyelashes and flirt if it means she’ll get something out of it
she’s kind of mean, kind of not ??? she is v moody a lot of the time tbh like it’s either hit or miss with her. sometimes she’ll be in the mood to have a big long chat and in a split second she’ll be telling u to fuck off
likes to know everyone else’s drama but doesn’t like having drama of her own
kind of does her own thing ???? marches to the beat of her own drum. doesn’t rly follow any rules. she’s just out here
does most things out of spite. even if she doesn’t want to do something, if someone tells her she cant do something she’s gna do it no matter what
very animated and lively. the type to dance in the middle of the grocery store if a song she likes is playing
also the type to dance on tables at the club
doesn’t rly care what ppl think about her but.....does at the same time ??? if ur important to her she cares deeply abt ur opinion but if not........she doesn’t give a FUCK
makes homes out of people far too easily & it’s fucked her up!!!!!
she always has to keep herself busy or else she’ll lose her mind :))))
will do.......literally anything to get something for free ??? doesn’t matter what it is or who u are. she can HATE u but.....she will still blow u behind the 7/11 for a free slurpee u know
i wouldn’t say she’s hypersexual but she is highly sexual thx to her trauma !!!
she is friendly yet distant at the same time so like......while she will happily talk to u and hang out with u and whatever she avoids deep conversation topics ig ??? she always finds a way to leave or change the subject when it gets serious or make a joke out of things bc she can’t.........talk abt stuff ajsdfjkgdjgk
a very witty & clever girl. she’s v smart and would have done well in school had she had a slightly better life & didn’t have to worry abt whether or not she would starve
some extra tidbits abt her !!!
p much all of her clothing is vintage/thrifted. she likes to re-purpose old clothes and make them her own. but her aesthetic is v vintage. shoes are her fave & she’s always wearing some funky type of boot or platform shoe
just a real fashion bitch !!!!
catch her online shopping at almost any given moment
mental breakdown haircuts at 2am are her Mood
she loves going to cute lil vintage diners & drinkin a cherry coke. she....actually is lowkey addicted to pop 
can’t keep a relationship to save her life. will date someone and put herself FULLY into the relationship but.......will either get bored or cheat on them or put them up on a pedestal so it’s destined to fail after one lil mistake.
she is a self-sabotager like that bc she doesn’t believe she’s deserving of love or any good things really
smokes cigarettes
drug use tw !! smokes a lot of weed probably. also does a lot of cocaine. has a coke addiction, in fact
her fave colour is red
she has a cat named freddie who she adores more than anything else on the planet
likes to play poker & gamble
will literally try anything once
hates herself & is rotting inside!!!!!!!!!!!!
eating disorder tw !! another symptom from her trauma is the eating disorder she developed as a teen. food is.....one of her few things in life she can fully control so she controls it a Lot. she’ll go days without eating just to feel more in control & then often times after restricting a certain food for a v long time she’ll go on a massive binging and purging and it’s awful :////// 
just wants to have fun and forget abt how disgusting she feels on a daily basis & how much she hates herself :))))))))))
generally just.............a messy bitch
this is......a LOT. i don’t have a full wc page or anything yet but here r some ideas ig ???
friends !! ppl that don’t actually know her all that well but she pretends they do anyway
exes !! ya girl puts her whole entire being into relationships even tho she runs away from them right after bc self sabotage ???? so she prob isn’t on good terms with any of her exes but......she’s my bi queen so this is open to anybody!!!!
a drug dealer
party buddies
fwbs & hookups, that kinda thing
maybe someone she cheated on a partner with ??? for Drama
or like....someone who’s relationship she fucked up idk
maybe someone who has a crush on her or something & she’s like.......pls don’t what r u doing
someone she has a crush on & avoids them like the plague bc feelings are gross
a good influence
idK i want angst & cute fluffy stuff so just.........everything pls thank uuuu
and ofc.............the song connections i’ve sent to the main~
that was a LOT im sorry y’all but..........come plot w me pleaseeee :’)
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