#you can get it and suffer for all i care

[incorrect-riordanverse]

the problem with all these white authors like rick riordan who are revealing their stances on the israel-palestine apartheid is that they barely do anything but virtue signal when they claim “i’m on the side against war” “i’m anti-violence” “i abhor terrorism.” zero people are going to disagree with you. zero people believe what hamas did is justified. zero people think israel shouldn’t have a right to defend itself against terrorism. but that isn’t what israel is doing when they collectively punish all of palestine, who doesn’t even have an official army. when rick riordan says some wishy-washy bullshit about the violence suffered on both sides of the conflict, and words his whole dumbass blog post like it’s violence that is in any way equal, that literally helps no one. in fact, it’s so damn negligent of the 75 years of violence that palestine has suffered and been oppressed for. yes, there are innocent civilians in israel who are suffering, no one is disagreeing with you. that doesn’t erase the fact that israel is a disgusting state that has used state-sanctioned violence on a systemic scale since its conception, and the oppressed people have responded to that in violent retaliation (because OBVIOUSLY they would). israel is built on the subjugation of palestine, there is no equal suffering between the two.

#ricky when i catch you ricky #so fucking disappointed with rick and aveyard and gaiman and brown and tjr and the list goes on #it makes me so damn mad. israel doesnt need your support to genocide palestinians #was thinking about buying chalice of the gods but im probs not going to for now #maybe until i can get it secondhand. but idk if i even care to read it atp #riordanverse #rick riordan #free palestine #percy jackson #pjo #hoo #heroes of olympus #toa #trials of apollo #correct riordanverse #rewriting #what is happening to innocent israelis is horrible. but i find it funny how the world only cares when its an israeli person #suddenly every innocent palestinian who has died since israel’s conception is flattened by history to somehow be on equal terms #10000 palestinians have died since 2008. its not equal at all. #how can u say that the attacks in gaza have reached genocidal proportions and then still talk abt suffering of israel like its equal??? #‘What can I do? I will continue to write books—‘ oh my god shut up #‘I will resist the urge to demonize entire groups of people.’ YAWN #‘ I will call for less violence not more violence. 🥺🥺’ #‘ And when asked whose side I am on I will tell you I am on the side of humanitarianism—‘ OH MY GOD SHUT UPPP

[calware]

"i happened to not find this character very interesting or likeable" doesn't automatically mean they're an objectively bland and boring character it just means you have a personal opinion

#jane is a very nuanced character who suffers from both violent childhood trauma and grooming #she's a clumsy teenager still trying to navigate her friendships and social life with her other clumsy teenager friends #and she's not great at it all the time and neither are they but she still cares about them! that's an interesting character concept! #again you don't have to find her interesting if that's not your preference. but that doesn't mean everyone feels the same way #also she is more similar to the fandom's most specialest boy (dave) than a lot of people realize but she's a Girl so she's not allowed to #be treated or viewed in the same ways as him. but i won't get into it #now. if you want to argue that her character arc got cut short and didn't really amount to much? that's a valid argument to make + i can #see how that might make people like her less. but it's less of her being a bland character and more ''uh oh the story had to end'' flavor #of weird act 6 writing that a lot of characters got shafted with #tldr you're allowed to not like jane but don't be surprised when other people do <3

[dnd-smash-pass-vs]

They're elves of the shadowfell, normal human height. They specialize in teleportation and invisibility, with the casters among them throwing in confusion and fear and illusion. Be careful though, as any trained in combat start making non-elves slower and worse while within 10 feet. From depression, from the sound of it. Their angst about being more ancient and timeless than you wordlessly attaches to you like a parasite, slowing you down. Good for if you enjoy concepts like-

Shadows, but like DARKER than shadow, that lash out when they're moody

looking beautiful unless in shadow, in which case they're corpselike

ignoring pointless things like "comfort" and "morals" and "rules"

being the chosen of the Raven Queen, and on her behalf collecting dark tragedy, sorrow, and feelings of loss.

being corpse pale with jet black hair, pure black eyes, and covered with tattoos/piercings/anything that would make a generic white suburban mom in the 50's scream in terror.

Lumping them all together because they're all the same outside one having mage hand and such. Idc what weapon they're holding.

#closest I'm getting to saying something nice about them. #i don't even care. #I can withhold bias on near anything but not these and sun elves #its fine. I make you suffer by pitting your favorites against each other. getting these into the next tournament is only fair. #you know that giant anti-shadarkai rant I went on a few months ago? #how I thought whoever did this to thier lore probably rewrites Warhammer stories to remove the satire and humor? #apparently he actually did write warhammer books holy shit I called it. #seriously though I love basically all monsters but these I looooooooooathe. #not even touching how annoyed I am that the shadar kai WERE ALREADY A THING #Like they weren't even elves #they just went “hey we'll bring them back as elves because 33 is a reasonable number of elf species” #yet not a green version of goblins there's already like 3 that'd be absurd. #like no make your OWN name for the special elves version 33 that hit on par with a demon lord while being cr 7 for some reason #shadar kai #looked into it #dnd #dnd5e #DnD 5e #d&amp;d #smash or pass #5e #monsters of the multiverse #mpmm

[aceredshirt13]

extremely funny to me seeing people say that Bertie has a heart of gold when his immediate solution to getting Freddie back together with his fiancée was to kidnap a child

#red randomness #jeeves and wooster #bertie wooster #100 and up neat #don’t get me wrong I love him dearly #but I think he like Watson and Bunny suffer from ‘he isn’t actually as nice as people think he is’ syndrome #because Bertie can be a judgy bitch! he’s resentful of several children! he makes unflattering judgments about appearances! #he told Sippy to steal a cop’s hat! he ripped a tag off his uncle’s gift and claimed it was his! #he told Jeeves to send Bingo a telegram telling him to KILL HIMSELF- #like #he is very dedicated to his insane friends even when they aren’t great to him #and he will go to great lengths for the people he cares about #and he will talk about how great Jeeves is to everyone who will listen and is better to him certainly than previous employers #and he’s a generally cheerful and amiable and friendly person #but heart of gold?? Perhaps Not #very few people in these stories are objectively entirely good and a lot of the humor and characterization comes from that #because you like Bertie despite it all. you love him and want him to be happy

[quietwingsinthesky]

the last unicorn post from earlier has me thinking about the master. that yana is still in there, you know? is still someone he was, if even for a brief flash across the life of a time lord. there’s no way to unlive that life. there are ways to twist it later, sure, to make utopia into hell on earth. but the life was lived. in much the same way that the doctor can remember, can feel, the love he held onto as john smith even as that life is ripped out of his hands. the doctor choose denial and then grief and then to shutter it all away. and so john smith died, and so professor yana died, and the doctor and the master live on. the doctor has done this before, and he lives in orbit around humanity, trying to keep the best parts of them and hold them deep enough to take root (which he can pretend he gets to choose, as a time lord. as a human, it all floods in and can’t be dug back out.) but what about the master, right?

to borrow a turn of phrase: i think there are two time lords left in the universe, and they both learned how to regret.

#regret here meaning less feeling the emotion of actual regret obviously because time lords do not actually funxtion on unicorn rules. they #already get sad just fine on their own. no humanity needed for that. #but i dont know. i just dont think he brushed it off so easily. i think he did a hell of a job convincing himself he did. #and what better way then to twist his own great works and destroy the species he was working so hard to save at the end of the universe. #but what about the knowledge that he *could* be that person. that somewhere in him exists a version that wanted to save people. #a version that is painfully too much like the doctor. even. now is that part worse or better than the human part? #but if past regenerations are ghosts i think yana deserves a haunt. #anyway maybe ignore this one im rambling about nothing here #theres just. i dont know. what if you were the last of your kind and in surviving you made yourself Not Like Them in a way you’ll never #escape. #i mean doctor who is just so concerned with all these plots about hybrids and children of the tardis and clones and What Makes A Time Lord. #but they’re so obsessed with it in just. a very Lore way. is what it feels like. we get brushes of more like with jenny and how she’s #physically a time lord and the doctor denies her that inheritance. a shared suffering… #but me myself im just fascinated with the doctor and the master as the time lords who survived. but they survived Wrong #its. its. children of gallifrey that don’t belong to her anymore. you know? #i dont care if river’s got time lord dna!!! or the metacrisis is physically human!!! i dont care!!! talk to me about what it means beyond #their blood and bones!!! what’s it like to have your sense of self stripped from you like that!!! #what’s it like when so much of you is the shed skin of time lords past. but one of you was human. one of you was painfully *humiliatingly* #human!!! #enough about how much dna you need to count as a time lord. i want to know how much they can mutate until they can’t be recognized as one. #does that make sense?

[oatbugs]

pls i need to provide updates

#basically yesterday night was chaharshanbe suri . which is a solar new yr tradition where we let go of the past suffering in our year #and like...start the new yr w fresh vigour . anyway so my friend was at the event and we were abt to leap over the fire #and she was like bro im im glad u blocked her (situationship) etc etc . and then. my phone started vibrating. and i look at it. and my f #friend looks at it. and its her. and were both like what the fuck?? i blocked her things r Over and anyway so i pick up the phone and shesl #acting like nothing happened (bc nothing DID happen for her) and she was like ohh ur doing chaharshanbe suri im not doing anything etc what #are ur new yr plans so i jusr .IDK WHY I DID THIS . but ig i didnt wanna come off as like lonely i said probably hanging out w family and #friends maybe reading poetry together . et cetera and she was like wait that sounds so fun why didnt u invite me! #LIKE WDYM YOUVE BEEN CONSISTENTLY MAKING IT CLEAR U DONT WANT TO BE IN MY PRESENCE . and i told her that after #everything i thought she didnt want to see me again and she was like you always think that 😐 . like. ?? ok anyway so she expects me to #invite her . and like. there is an above 0% but sub-5% chance she will actually show up . but the panic that gripped me #i started making calls to my friends asking them if they can come on the 23rd bc there must be an event and also i asked my mother #and she said actually yeah i am doing a thing on the 23rd :D it involves over 16 ppl (we live in a v small flat) of which like...7 are kids #so you wont have space to be in ur own room let alone invite others. which tbh like ...being around a bunch of loud kids doesnt seem fun fo #any of my friends or me etc so i thought maybe i should arrange things so that we all go out together and if she shows up she shows up 🤷‍♀️ #but . im so. WHY DID I SAY THAT . i had to panic-call my research partner and ask him to get from oxf to where i live on the 23rd #and when he heard the explanation he like. the light in his voice disappeared 💀 but he potentially agreed so idk #THE ISSUE IS. 23rd im supposed to also have . a date #w this girl that i had a huge crush on when i was 15-16 (posted abt this b4 but id get shitty black coffee in the mornings just to spend a #few more minuted w her each day and she was the cleverest girl in school and she cared abt nothing but her academics but now shes very gay #scraggly homosexual etc etc shes cute) and YEAH IDK #like id have to go there on the date come back fast meet ppl POTENTIALLY (again under 5%) meet situationship girl #like is that even doable #but the thing is it would be so so so funny bc all of my friends dislike her sooo much #.........what if i invited the girl im supposed to have a date w over to hang out w us #god that would be so hilarious and chaotic . i wont do it tho im a mature person x #but it would be soooo funny #I HAVE AN ASSIGNMENT DUE TMRW 12:30PM IT IS 10:49PM RN I HAVENT STARTED IT bc i was rotting sadly in bed #popped a ritalin pill tho so here we go x #i have found myself in a state of such sheer agony and rage and sorrow and grief over this girl that atp i feel like #its just so entertaining . like i feel vaguely over it? ik nothing will come of it so its like just . have fun . vibe

[madeoftwinklingstars]

something i think is really interesting about judaism is that there are movements that simply. do not believe that the torah (the main book of judaism) was written by god. i mean in what other religion would this be widely adopted. why hasn’t similar ideas spread further? what makes judaism different from them? while orthodox claim that jews who believe this are heretical, they are still forced to engage with these arguments that the torah was simply written by people trying to make sense of the world. there are also multiple movements within orthodoxy that force them to engage with this argument as well— like the fact that there are orthodox individuals who believe in science and evolution. if the torah is wrong about adam and eve, what else could it be wrong about? it’s so just so interesting to me.

#jumblr #jewish #twinkling.talks #obviously this isn’t everyone’s experience #but i think judaism has been able to weather all these massive movements because it is a religion all about questioning itself #and arguing. thinking about how #the rabbis were arguing about something and god was showing them signs n they were like U DONT GET A SAY IN THIS. lol #also the way there is no true hell so therefore there is nothing to be afraid of when you die #u get out in the washing machine or u can be reborn :) who knows we do not care #i also rly enjoy that the way you make sure people are remembered is by always saying their name #n if u want that person to actually suffer u say let his name be destroyed! #i just deeply enjoy being jewish n feel very lucky to have grown up with it

[felixcosm]

The way people are responding to Taylor Swift's new album because they don't think she is tortured or mentally ill enough to call it that is fucking embarrassing.

God forbid an artist ever exaggerates for artistic purpose. God forbid a celebrity writes about pain or suffering if they haven't experienced the maximum amount of trauma in their life.

I mean, everyone knows the moment you become a celebrity all your human experience disappears and you elevate to a new level of existence where you cannot have relatable experiences anymore for the rest of your life.

#i dont care much for taylor swift but seeing people diss on her for no reason or petty reasons is so cringe and embarrassing #it reminds of that 'i listen to cooler music than you' trend that was so popular #taylor swift #the tortured poets department #i listened to it yesterday. good album. not really my taste of music but still good #people who diss on her do understand that all the petty scruntiny they put her under can apply to their favorite artists too right? #like what even is your angle? #taylor swift cant say anything because she's rich or because she hasnt suffered as much as you? #is the concept of creating stories so foreign to you #this just in no artist can ever write a song if they havent experienced 100% of what happens in that song #okay im done #i just had to get it out of my system bcs i see it *everywhere* and it annoys me to no end #im not even a swiftie!! but if you can say that about taylor swift you can literally say that about anyone #and taylor swift isnt hurting anyone. people wanna shit on her and her fans for dumb reasons #if you dont like her album then just. dont listen to it? block the tag? #its not like you can neverr criticize an artist or an album but NONE of these posts are being critical theyre just being mean #and taggingg their hate so the swifties can see it #its deliberately being mean because everyone else is doing it #OKAY NOW IM DONE

[samuraisharkie]

that virtualtoybox person literally told me they aren’t reading what I said and then tried to talk to me w about as much in their tags lol. i never understand people that go ‘I’m not reading all of that but you should read what I have to say” bc like. imagine how infuriated ur gonna get when that response is leveled right back at you? and judging by their tags they didn’t read past my very first line. bc they started comparing animals and animal rights to eugenics which is EXACTLY what I was saying is extremely dangerous to do. That’s exactly how people start calling things that happen to animals a ‘Holocaust’ and I’m positive such a statement is made in that book they told me to read. I’m disabled too. I know what I’m talking fucking about too. In the animal section, I for SURE know more than you do! Because if you knew and truly cared about animals and their welfare, you wouldn’t be talking like PETA. Here’s a trick to other disability activists: learn about animal welfare by volunteering on farms and educating yourself on breeders and the industry rather than getting involved in PETA! And another critical trick: NEVER compare animals to people! That’s exactly what the freaks that think any living thing with a deformity that should die are doing. These people would clutch their pearls the moment they hear farms cull undesirable animals bc they can’t afford to keep every single one and have to streamline their breeding and raising to what will help keep the farm running. That doesn’t mean these farmers want to do the same to people, because the animal is NOT a person and doesn’t live like one. Our lives are not even remotely comparable! People like OP are the people that keep a wild bird with an amputated wing alive bc in their mind it would be insinuating all amputees should die if the bird is put down, and next thing the bird is on the Dodo as inspiration porn. Duex Face is an exception to two headed animals, not the rule. Don’t tell me to do my research when you’re spouting talking points from people that have caused more problems for animals as a whole second only to the commercialization of animal industry. Maybe you need some research (field research) instead! They’re going to block me and I’m assuming that’s why I can’t rb the post anymore even if I wanted to (like I said I didn’t want to start a fight so like. I’m not going to be yelling and acting like an asshole. I swore a bit in the tags initially bc I feel very strongly about how animal rights activists have fucked up disability activism by acting like there’s equivalency in our existences, but that’s not targeted. Most was going to respond telling them that if they feel this strongly they need to be reading more about the animal industry rather than relying on people that are in no way experts on animals talking as an authority on them, and using that to tie with their human rights activism as if animals rights and humans rights are even remotely the same in any way. Whatever though at least the tags are there if anyone who cares enough actually reads them and thinks about them. Will most likely just attract militant vegans and ARAs like the op but whatever)

#ableism tw #why are people caring more about animal rights than human rights. acting like an animal has the same existence a human does #why aren’t we instead pointing and making books about the HUMAN eugenics happening right in front of our eyes. #why do we have to talk through fantasized anthropromorphized animals #why do you people have to imagine an animal feels like you do in order for people to care. #to an extent I’m sure there is a level to which you can say ‘yeah this person is ableist’ judging by how they talk about outside subjects #and I agree that the people who want Deux Face put down are ignorant and a few likely are ableist #but treating it like there is ZERO NUANCE and that every person who holds concern for whether the animal is suffering or not is ableist #is ignorant and harmful #this situation is way way more than what op made it out to be and you can already see in the replies how ARAs have latched onto it #to get on their soapbox and declare that anyone that treats animals as anything less than human are ableist eugenists #(while simultaneously disrespecting people that are actually living through those situations aka comparing animal culling to a Holocaust.) #it doesn’t matter if you’re part of the demographic that’s being harmed and you have no problem with it you don’t speak for all of us #and despite being an activist you CAN be misinformed and fueled by bias! #if animals are fur babies with human emotions to you than of course you will prefer the ‘beast of burden’ argument #I’ll check that book out honestly. would be good to know how to refute what OP built their beliefs off of

[icewindandboringhorror]

A very interesting cloud formation!

#I don't think I had ever really seen clouds like this before? it looks like a cool painting or something :0 #Pulling just a few images from my cloud and sky photos folder which has like 650 pictures in it becvause I'm obsessed with the sky lol #I will usually spare everyone the cloudposting but... in some exceptions when it's really cool I must Share #(upcoming covid mention in tags for those avoiding the topic) #I WANT TO BE ON AN AIRPLANE SO SO BAD I am going to start casting evil spells to explode all these 'back to normal' bastards who are out #spreading virus and shit HHHHHH... Covid is NOT over actually contrary to popular beielf especially for people with health conditions #that make them more vulnerable or would have worse consequences if they were to catch it etc. etc. wearing a mask in public is #in MOSt cases not THAt much of a horrific terrible evil inconvenience and it helps keep everyone around you safer including these #vulnerable populations!!!! Even if I didn't have any problems myself I would STILL be masking because it's a small gesture that can make a #big difference in people around me being comfortable. It's not like people with health issues just never have to go out or go to the stor #or whatever. There are still people out there who could be helped by extra precautions that are being overlooked. grrrrr... #Like at this point since I'm vaccinated and everything I would MAYBE consider flying on an airplane IF everyone else around me #was masking and being just as careful as me. But at this point it's just the wild west and I would literally be the only one who gives #a shit or who gets tested freqeuntly before after and during traveling and wears the proper type of mask well fitting and not half off my f #ce and blah blah blah. And precautions work best when EVEYRONE is participating. There's only so much you can protext yourself if everyone #around you is doing nothing. So.. alas.. I still do not feel safe traveling. And probably won't for years until more progress is made in #terms of like understanding and treating certain long covid issues and etc. Since I think it's inevitable that if I start going out again #I would get covid. Me and my household bubble are some of the only people I know who haven't had it yet (or at least not knowingly so - if #so it was one of the asymptomatic cases etc.). So if I was GOING to get it anyway I'd at least like the assurance that whatever long term #issues I inevtabley suffer because of it will be more easily treatable at that point instead of entirely disabling even further than I'm #already disabled. etc. AAANYWAY!! all that to say. I JSUT REALLY WANT TO be on an airplane!!! I dont even like traveling and going places I #hate vacations and would rather be at home working on my projects I'm fixated on lol HOWEVER I love the view from airplane windows #like the very few times in my life Ive actually been on a plane and the window is so COLD when you lay your forehead on it and sometimes yo #even see little ice crystals and it's like you're just in a landscape of clouds with a sea of clouds above and below and aaaAAAAAA #Literally I want to get on a plane just to go up in the air and then land and fly back. I don't even want to go on a real trip. I just NEED #to see the sky I need to be IN the sky I need to have that VIEW and the cold and everything!!!! gRGGHGgg... And I will do that the entire #time. I think my longest plane ride was 7 hours and I do not watch movies. I dont text or play games. I literally do nothing to entertain #myself except stare straight out the window for 7 hours (with a few eating and bathroom breaks). not even joking lmao. It's like a trance #I LOVE the sky and clouds so much and the view you get from an airplane is like incomparable!! also I love airports with the big windows an #people watching. but mostly I just long for the sky view again. GRRR.. sobbing and yearning >:T

[2pookie]

not so sure how to feel about the "this burden is not yours to bear alone" and the "sh/oto is our h/ero" moments...

#delete later / #first of? it IS his burden to bear alone immho. everybody is hurt (traumatised) and everybody feels like they failed #because YOU rotted this family. YOU poisoned it. YOU wrecked it from inside out. YOU alone abused them. #my visceral reaction to that line was 'don't piss me off now' because dear god... this was a one man's hit. imo! #everybody else's reactions behaviors etc etc were in response to what he put them through #of course! some things are entirely theirs to bear and own up to. but everybody was subjected to his blinding greed #i may get sh/ot for this but the impression i have so far is that t/oya was the one he cared for the most #insane statement. will rewatch it / read it and analyze it all and come back to my current impressions tbh #and now the whole 'sh/oto is our hero'............. #it can be summarized into 1. he is a 16 y/o kid. it's long overdue to stop placing the entire weight of the family #on his shoulders. and 2. i think it feeds and plays into the isolation sh/oto suffered that wrecked them all #+ the vicious cycle of it all + it's still the 'sh/oto vs everyone' mentality idk... what are ur takes on this? #did nawt mean to rant this badly on the tags btw 😭😭

[hail-omadius]

Me trying to explain to my vaguely religious mother that Dionysus and Jesus may actually be two aspects of the same diety

#Dionysus #hellenism #paganism #Local man looks after the sick and immigrants and protects minorities #Is raised from the dead and has a father who rules the skies #Blood. Wine. Vices or sin as they call it #Dionysus existed before christ and before greece #I have a lot of very specific and detailed feelings about my spirituality #Jesus is a flawed diety as all others are he was just as much off his rocker as the lord of parties themselves in this essay I will #people only view dionysus as the hedonism god who doesn’t care about your liver it couldn’t be further from the truth #do you really think a diety of wine would encourage its abuse get the fuck outta heeeeeere #Duality is also big in pagan deities #Embodying the suffering itself and freedom from the suffering works just fine #‘’But OP he tells people to worship the one true god’’ which one. go on tell me #also can man not lie when writing things down? #the bible is in several languages it was a historical document collab #you could also see the one true god as a god that embodies all other gods #an unnamed force all gods came from #he also spoke in parables constantly and the old testament was literally a bunch of metaphors to teach lessons barely any of it was- #-actually real #saying jesus was a pantheon god is probably the least popular thing i’ve said #may make many people mad #but jesus loves these kinds of people he knows that the ones who know him will be shunned by the majority #which is why i don’t abide by organised religions worshipping jesus #often it’s a malformed and terrifyingly bastardised version

[thanatos-nightshade]

Im so sorry i played Our Life: beginnings and always and not only has it sucker punched me with bittersweet feelings of life and change and relationships but its also thrown me into brain rot hell of it. Im sorry if ocean boy cove floods your feed get it? Its a pun

#t-n talks #personal #our life: beginnings & always #olba #i love him so much i love them all so much i need to replay with all the dlcs and get shiloh to come to our wedding #because i named a fosh after him in like step 2 or 3 and i missed him and i dont care if he lied to us im sorry shiloh #come baaack #but also baxter what happened baxter we missed you so much youre important to us youre important to meeeeeee #everyones my friend now how do i have jeremy at my wedding but not shiloh? jeremy you should have made shiloh suffer tooooo #im so glad i got jeremy though god i felt for him so bad like genuinely what was wrong while he was mean to us #i just wanted to be nice and friends but also dont be mean to cove and im so glad hes mellowed out a bit hes really a good kid sometimes #i love them all so much dereeeekkkkk hes such a good friend god hes SUCH A GOOD FRIEND im screaming #and baxter baxter baxter baxter sometimes i dont think hes in love with us but in love with our relationship but also like #i wouldnt mind us three being closer because youre fucking important to me baxter just like jeremy #youre all part of this found family gay as shit now if i can be adopted then that means i can adopt you too!!! #god but seriously? like i expected to cry because of relationship love drama at first not because i was having #complicated feelings about being adopted and my relatiinship with my sister god ive never had an older sister really #and my siblings and i arent super close but im adopted and i dont think ive ever wanted something more than this family #this game man i just god my fiance was like “i dont think this game was meant to be so deep/intense” but like its a visual novel #novels are meant to invoke feelings and thoughts and discussion and reflection at least thats what i believe every story has a purpose #its up to us to figure out what its purpose is maybe not in general but to us what can we take away from it and god #it makes me want to hold onto my friendships tightly and reach out to everyone i knew/know #i have too many tags on here because of brain rot but i love this game and im so excited for the next one and i would love to download #like my log of the entire game so that i can recap everything at like my leisure #just cause im not gonna remember all my choices and stuff

[dearmrsawyer]

hello! it has been a long time since i've talked through my day! this one had such a big turnaround that i needed to document it, mostly for myself.

i had an appointment with a 'root canal specialist' today bc i had my first app with my new dentist a couple of weeks ago and his xray revealed an abscess wow how fun :) i couldn't feel it bc that tooth has a decade old root canal so there are no nerves to reveal there is anything going on!! fun!!!! he's a super nice dentist, i like him but he made me very panicked lol he was showing me how close it is to my sinuses on the xray. so he was like 'go see this guy asap' bc he wanted to know whether there was a chance my old root canal could be redone or if i'd have to get the whole tooth removed/an implant, all for the low low price of $5-6000 🙃 but obviously you can never see specialists asap!!! so i've been walking around for 2.5 weeks with dread/phantom pains that by the time i saw him the infection would've spread and idk had catastrophic consequences??? and then today when i went there was CONSTRUCTION at the turn i needed to make and the road was closed and i was like i don't know how to get there from another street??!?!?!??! i spent 10 minutes driving through suburban streets and my navigation kept trying to take me back to the original route with the closed road, and its the middle of town so there was nowhere i could just temporarily stop and look at the map, and i called them almost crying to let them know i'm coming but i might be late bc i just can't navigate these streets jegjkdgkjdkg

anyway i MADE it, i think i parked in another business's parking lot and just hoped they didn't care lol and then the lady at the desk was like 'our other specialist will have to see you bc the guy you're here for isn't here' so i was feeling uhhhh not good after my dentist talked him up so much. AND my dentist didn't send over my electronic referral and i had LITERALLY been stressed that he would forget to do exactly that for the whole 2.5 weeks oh my god, thankfully they didnt even seem to care. but then as i was filling out the paperwork in the waiting room 'no judgment' came on, and then 'wolves' right after??? and i was like this seems deliberate to try and calm me down 😂 and when the substitute specialist called me in he was so extremely calming and talked me through my options, one of which is indeed to try and redo the root canal bc he's confident he can, it would still cost a lot but wayyyyy less. he also said i could 'do nothing' (which is obv risky, and i would never do nothing, but that made me realise my infection is not about to bust through and spread across my sinuses any second, one fear down!). he was just softly spoken and super relaxed and he made me feel like this was not in fact a crisis and said i could go and think about what i wanted to do, and just call for an appointment when i decided. and then when i went out to pay 'i want to write you a song' was playing 😭 i asked the receptionists if there was a 1d fan in the house and one of them said it must just be a random playlist on spotify, so this was all a complete coincidence????? i told them i was enjoying it very much.

anyway long story short i had already taken the rest of the afternoon off work to go work in the garden, but figured there was a good chance i'd be so down about an unexpected and immiment $5000 hit that i wouldn't want to do anything, but i drove home feeling extremely reassured that i had options and i was not on the clock to decide, and also very relaxed by 1d playing in the background the entire time. i have also been extremely stressed that i would need to take the next step asap and this would be such a bad time as mum is working 50 hour weeks right now bc of the referendum, so i am on caring duty with nonna/nonno anytime we don't have carers here. but there's time! i had a v good afternoon in the garden after all!

#i am extremely comfortable at the dentist (i had the kindest dentist all through childhood/adolescence/early adulthood) #(who put lots of time into making us comfortable/safe in his chair when we were tiny) #but i have a lot of dental fear bc you only get one go #(i have v regular dreams of my teeth falling out lol) #i also have v weak teeth rip my mouth is a filling factory #i do eat a lot of sugar lol but my teeth clearly suffer more than other ppl i know who eat just as much #anyways the point is everything was monumentally stressful/scary until i stepped inside that place #im very thankful with how the entire appointment played out #for the substitute specialist and also for the soothing tunes lol #im not sure what i will do yet but i will think about it. bc i can! #i am crediting god for this one 😂 he took good care of me today #tp