#you can look cis and be nonbinary

[uncanny-tranny]

Your fears that you don't have a body that will transition "well" are, sure, understandable, but there isn't truly such thing as a body that's unworthy of transition. Perhaps your changing body won't suit everybody's taste, but would you rather live for yourself or for the whims of random people who don't care about your happiness as long as they're attracted to what they see?

Transition is for anybody who wants it. It's okay to be fearful. It's okay to be uncertain. But it isn't the end of the world. You are in control, and if you choose to transition to any capacity, it should be at your behest. You and your body are worthy of transition. I hope you are able to seize transition and do what you truly want for yourself.

#trans #transgender #lgbt #lgbtq #ftm #mtf #nonbinary #have been seeing a small resurgence in some trans spaces that there is such thing as an 'untransitional' body #there are people out there who cannot transition for medical/financial/social reasons but that isn't what people often mean #kill the person in your head that says you need to adhere to cishet standards. it's okay to be trans and *look* it if you want #transition because it makes you feel happy or fulfilled. transition because it is something *you* want #while yes it's complex because appearing trans can be dangerous i ultimately want people to have the freedom to make decisions solely... #...on what *they* want y'know? #i have seen this idea that some people just aren't 'able' to transition because they won't 'appear cis' for years now and it's heartbreaking #like i used the whole 'i don't look cis' against myself because it's impossible for me *to be* cis... #...i will never be non-trans. i will never not be a transsexual and i used to hate that about myself... #...because i was taught that being trans is bad. i was taught that looking trans is a curse that nobody should EVER inflict upon themselves #and that the goal was to essentially distance yourself as far away from transness as you can #and it's okay for people to not want to 'look' visibly trans. it's neutral. what was harmful was the idea that TRANS was bad #there's a huge difference between 'i don't want to be visibly trans' and 'i think being trans and looking it is bad'

[secondwhisper]

"Transmasculine people who claim to be adversely affected by sexism are bioessentialists cloaked in progressive language, discrimination on the basis of ""biological sex"" isn't real!"

Oh right, sorry. I forgot that sexism in medical research means that endometriosis, ME/CFS, migraines, post-concussive syndrome, Raynaud's phenomenon, and so many other conditions are only understudied in women. Of course endometriosis For Men™, ME/CFS For Men™, migraines For Men™, post-concussive syndrome For Men™, Raynaud's phenomenon For Men™, etc., are all well-funded fields of research and totally understood. Medical research cares only about the gender of an individual patient, not the association of a condition with people of a certain gender. Patriarchal devaluation of women's health, women's illnesses being treated as fundamentally hysteric, and (peri)cissexist reductions of any individual to the reproductive system(s) they were born with clearly only affect people whose gender is woman, nobody else.

Wilfully ignorant motherfuckers.

#HOW can you rightfully argue that sexism is systemic #and ALSO claim that it only affects people according to their self-identified rather than socially-assigned gender. #i do not know how to explain to you that structural oppression has both personal and impersonal modalities #my own post wow #sorry for the heavy sarcasm this is just so fucking deeply frustrating #anyone who is sufficiently proximal to woman-ness gets caught up in this is it truly not difficult to understand #was my [conditions] being brushed aside medical sexism when i ID'ed as a girl but now that i ID as nonbinary the same dismissal is not #the same dismissal is not related to the fact that doctors still see me as basically-a-woman #a personal in a ''female body'' #with Women's Health problems #obviously this is still fucking sexism! #and also obviously trans women experience a shitton of medical sexism! #they are not immune to ME/CFS or migraines or whatever just bc doctors see them as ''male bodied''!!! #they are gonna face the same ''i think this is all in your head'' sexist hysteric-woman bullshit! #but like. claiming that transmascs who arent women cant possibly face sexism just means you will not look at how sexism actually functions #fuck. cis men with migraines are still fucked by the sexist lack of research into a condition that so disproportionally disables women #this is not new. nothing I'm saying is new.

[trans-estinien]

i love being autistic cause sometimes i get a glimpse into how regular people perceive things and its like. what the fuck. what the fuck is that? you live like this? and its normal?? i think YOURE the weird one actually. im fine. thanks though.

#THERES SO MANY WEIRD RULES #LIKE WHAT DO YOU MEAN PEOPLE PAY ATTENTION TO HOW SOMEONE WALKS LIKE HUH????? WHY???????????? #can someone fucking explain the dude head nod thing to me why do we do that. whats that about. ive never seen anyone do that irl before #is that an american thing or do i just hang around too many afab people #i am learning the intricacies of cis people gender rules and i am. what fucking planet have i been on the last 17 years like what is this #was there some like. rulebook they handed out at somepoint they forgot to give to me or something #“best way to learn is to observe the men around you” OBSERVE WHAT. YOU PEOPLE PAY THAT MUCH ATTENTION TO EVERY LITTLE MOVEMENT???? #bruh i can barely make eye contact w people... #my ass has never intentionally copied someones mannerisms ever. #i do it subconsciously. but doing it actively feels weird and wrong and like im breaking someones boundaries #“men dont smile at people.” well they should. #ive decided cishet men are the most boring people on the planet #“dont move with your hands” YOURE BREAKING MY POOR THEATER KID HEART #i need to meet more gay men irl to absorb the vibe of cause i only know like two. not counting myself #i want people to look at me and go. ah yes. fruit. #at this point im just going to accept being misgendered for the rest of eternity. id rather die than be boring in the way cishet men are #my flavor of being trans is so influenced by my autism cause my perception of genders is completely off from what everyone else is doing #im like. yeah i want to be a man. and then i look at what the majority of men are actually like and its like. wait no. not like that #shoutout to flamboyant gay men where would i be without them #i think the thing that bothers me the most is that like #in my mind peoples genders are just. the way they express themselves. #its not like. this super big complex deal like how everyone else treats it. if that makes sense? like. #regular people have so many rules for what counts as a man or what counts as a woman or what counts as neither and its like??? #you can do what you want???? why do we care???? #and ive been doing this since i was little. on account of the autism #i just. dont get why its such a big deal to people. #i cant wrap my head around it at all #not nonbinary not a girl not aegender not a man but a secret fourth thing #(man but i do it my way instead of everyone elses way) #unfortunately doing it my way just. leads to the misgendering dimension. for some reason

[stannussy]

Anyways, last time we see that word around these parts.

#again im not a fan of it #but i do think we should call out transphobia on progressive spaces that try to hide behind YASSSSS KWEEN facade #all manner of transphobia #we should talk about the more intrinsic ways transphobia shows towards trans fems. trans mascs and non binary people #bc ive seen cis people make other trans people hop in the transphobia train by begin: #mmmhh you are one of the good ones not like [spin the wheel to see what trans person you are gonna get] #like yes! tell me (a trans man) how transphobia is enacted towards you nonbinary person or trans women so i call out the person!!! #and i tell you #that way we can all look out for each other!!!!

[lacefuneral]

"stede can't be trans wtf"

-boobs

-there's no proof that he didn't: give birth to his own children, adopt his children, let another dude get mary pregnant (perhaps doug?)

-COULD be using an STP during that horrible jack scene

-bullied horribly during his youth for being too feminine

-he literally had his period

#this is /hj - i don't think stede is literally canonically trans. but you can't prove he's cis either 👉👉 #but yeah that last one is a joke. him being stabbed by spaniards and then looking like DEATH is super relatable though #also even if stede is AMAB he can still be trans. idiot. he could be on the nonbinary spectrum. ever think about that? /lh /nm

[moodr1ng]

talking abt my ocs nobody knows abouttt :)

i <3 thinking about my ocs on main hold on.. so klein is like. originally i was gonna make him a lil older but i think hes actually about 31. and originally the thing where hes xeres's roommate was kind of a joke at his expense? where i just wanted this really pathetic little man to be around and i thought itd be funny if hes like.. a guy who doesnt have a Real Job (hes a data entry freelancer. hes very passionate abt it and its definitely not interesting.) and who sublets his spare room to make rent to some student whos clearly got more going on for her than he does. and he has a lousy first name so he goes by his last name, and all his clothes are a little too big bc hes short, and he always dresses like an 80s office worker bc his dad was a washed up yuppie and he aspires to emulate him despite there not being much to emulate. and hes one of the "oh i just dont do labels you know" kinda people or at best hell say hes gay but hes not, hes bisexual but hes intimidated by women and hes bad at being masculine or taking charge and hes convinced himself that means he would be no good w a woman bc hes bought into the idea that m/f relationships have set roles that he cant fulfill.

but the most important thing about klein. is that if his teenage roommate came home one night and was like "hey man, sorry im late on wiring you rent, i can do it tonight but um btw i just killed a guy" he would definitely go ahhh fuck ahh well what are you waiting for we gotta deal with this before rigor mortis sets in!! like i think he wouldnt hesitate and part of it is that hes a good friend to xeres even tho shes always making fun of him, part of it is that he has a deep mournful yearning for something wild and special to happen in his life and i think hes always rearing to go for something that he cant handle, and the last part is just that hes too stupid to realize hes not involved and doesnt have to do anything about it.

#97 #so much to think abt w klein.. #i think hes also one of those kinda cis dudes who are like. #extremely enthusiastic trans allies but in a very clueless way. #eg i think he keeps calling joy 'they' for a while bc he has a hard time figuring that you can be nonbinary and not use they/them #even tho xeres also uses she. but hes stupid like that #the part where hes like desperately looking for something out there in his boring ass life is def behind.. #why klein hears 'joy isnt actually a human person hes just a personification of euphoria whos on earth rn' #and he goes umm ok well. i guess i can fit this into my worldview. #and then starts having sex w the personification of euphoria.

[jizzan]

Hey not so gentle reminder that not assuming gender to strangers means not referring to them with any gendered language, not just throwing all genders into one sentence and hope something sticks

#trans #i guess #yes i am nonbinary but im also not a woman or a fan of a lot of modern nonbinary language #id rather be called a fag than get hit with that from a stranger #if youre my friend you can call me she/her in a camp gay man way but strangers on the internet are banned from gendering me ever #this is about a tiktok i made #and like it ended with just “cool” #why add all the genders #i am now unsure if i even pass as masc #ive been on hrt for 2.5 years and look like my brother #how can i not pass #and yes on tiktok i am a cis man roleplayer #thats one of the most toxic apps with harassment ime #so i just #pretend to be a cis guy

[blackmoldmp3]

it’s always fun when posts go around like ‘ugh dyed hair and mullets are such a stereotype for nb people’ i don’t have a shitty haircut bc i’m agender i have a shitty haircut bc i listen to bad music and have a serious mental illness. i’ve been like this since 2005 get on my level

#people living in a fantasy land where being visibly gnc and dressing stupid gets u mainstream acceptance #not rebloggable. also i’m saved from stereotype accusations by the grace of gaining 100lbs in 1.5 years #sorry i was on twitter for two minutes. #i understand the broader point of ‘there’s more to the nonbinary spectrum of experience than this specific look’ #OBVIOUSLY. real and true. #but the discussion always devolves immediately to like ‘YEAH and those haircuts only look good on like three people’ and it’s like #do u think i give a shit. i’d still be dressing stupid if i was cis i can assure you. i just like it

[matoitech]

i do not understand the posts from ppl who complain abt how ‘cis ppl always headcanon gender conforming characters as trans’ bcuz first thats just literally not true like at all and second please help me understand how in this fantasy reality where cis ppl if they ever think anyone or any fictional character is trans at all anyway, if they ever think anyone but characters who fit their transphobic stereotypes r trans, u think they should stereotype.. more? like yes absolutely irl gnc trans ppl exist and need and deserve characters that r like them that are not like, transphobic and r actually respected and represented well, but i just want u to name 1 time a cis person said a masculine male character was a trans man. just once

#honestly name a time anyone but a trans guy goes for a masculine guy to be trans. like what the fuck are you talking about #even other trans/nonbinary ppl can b transphobic abt what trans ppl 'can' look like. #like i understand if u dont feel particularly represented bcuz theres not a lot of gnc trans characters #but good god there r not a lot of 'gender conforming' trans characters either and anyway cis ppl r not the ones who r going 2 give u #any of that. like i cannot stress enough how fucking stupid of an idea it is to tell a cis person who for ONCE said a masc guy could #b a trans man that theyrehcing 'guys who look cis' as trans too much like. i hate to tell u this #but there is no way u can make 'u can spot trans ppl in a crowd' progressive its just always going ot be transphobic #i just dont understabd. can we make 'u should have diversity w ur trans chars bcuz as ppl all look different that is also true for ppl' #*trans ppl. instead of like. this

[uncanny-tranny]

Over the years, I've gotten a lot of cis people messaging me about how they should go about dating or courting somebody who's trans, and I always felt like my responses would almost... disappoint them because there isn't this magic secret to dating us.

Cis people, if you want to date us, just date us. We're human beings, we're not wild animals to tame! I promise you can have a healthy relationship with a trans person without needing to feel like the world will end if you mess up.

Trans people who date cis people often want to feel secure in your acceptance of them. You don't have to talk about our transness for hours on end to prove that you accept your loved one. You don't have to put on a display and cabaret about how Much You Accept Us. Just be a person around us, and let us be people, too!

I almost want to disappoint cis people by reminding them of this. Some of the best relationships I've had with cis people have been ones where my transness is acknowledged, sure, but it's acknowledged in the same way that my left-handedness is. It's not a joke to them, it isn't something to be horrified about, but it's also something that they don't objectify me for.

#trans #transgender #lgbt #lgbtq #ftm #mtf #nonbinary #watching a video about this topic and it just reminded me of this #like there have been plenty of cis people who have come to me for advice and while i appreciate the thoughtfulness (don't get me wrong!)... #...part of me just feels like... they see trans people as needing to be Tamed in some way or Appeased... #...like they see us as people but it's more like they see us as Trans People and not... people... #...and maybe i'm looking too deep into it. maybe i'm jaded but that's sometimes how it can feel with some people... #...like my besties that i talk to fully accepted me... #...though it is funny when they forget i'm... not a trans woman or (with other friends) that i'm... not a cis man #(maybe i just give off ambiguous vibes irl and online because it's happened irl and with my online buddies) #adding once again: i don't think ALL cis people who ask this are doing so in bad faith #cis people i'm glad you are vulnerable about not being sure about how to go about transness... #...however i don't always think it's the best move to go to a stranger about your interest in a trans person in your life... #...simply because: 1. transness isn't a monolith and... #...2. it feels awkward because you aren't going to *them* to have this conversation that will ultimately affect *them*... #...because your relationship with a trans person will likely /not/ affect a trans stranger...

[eclipse-ofthe-sun]

usually i find it funny and not too bothersome when people misgender me but today i just want to bite and kill about it just. absolutely tear some people apart

#my teacher misgendered me to another student on thursday and althought it was greatly enjoyable #watching my friend across the room find my snort absolutely hilarious (we always make eye contact when it happens it is rather funny) #its like. really bothering me now #how can you be grading my work all last term #that had a huge section about being nonbinary and gnc in the music industry #and still misgender me #this teacher does have a habit of being on your side in private but in practice dismissing/conviniently forgetting #info they know about you (they love to forget i have chronic fatigue when im expressing genuinely that i cannot do something) #but its still PISSING ME OFF #biting and killing and maiming all the cis people #okay i look like a girl!! doesnt mean i am one!! i literally use all pronouns but she because of you fucks!! damn #this is only a problem at college too why is college microagression central #anyway thanks for reading this if you did lmao have a wonderful day <3

[unproduciblesmackdown]

co-quants coffee break, rian gets the his & hers coffee mugs set and gets his coffee, winston uses the leftover hers mug and says nothing to anyone then or ever but is henceforth on and off Pondering The Experience of it all

#as stated i don't much have [winston: not cis?] hcs really but there's still nonzero pondering of him pondering and perhaps even more lol... #and the hcs happen to not be either Winston Is A Trans Man or Winston Is A Trans Woman. all amongst the [Not That / other] realms #and he can certainly be cis and still go like hmm. My Gender. for one thing like he's autistic so that'd just be relevant like #you're bound to be more self conscious abt your Everything re a) how you're perceived and/or b) how you don't relate to what's considered #socially Normal or Just The Way It Of Course Works For Everyone and the like #meanwhile your boss is nonbinary like; nobody has to have any sexuality crises over everyone being taylorsexual; which is for the best #that'd get exhausting immediately and not really serve anything. but everyone can feel free to go Ah....gender; huh #winston billions #at a bare minimum winston cisly using a Hers mug would be utterly unfazed even if other ppl think he's supposed to be embarrassed #like oh another way you're so clueless abt how not to be cringe & fail & how to rather be an epic winner huh; typical #and in turn the typical way to express this would be not to say anything but do a double take / give winston &/or the whole room a Smh look #while winston would take a fucking sip babes. or take a fucking bite of some snack paired with coffee which is also cringe of him or smthing #lil concepts like maybe winston never settles on being anything but a cis man but is like I Just Think It's Neat re: non he/him pronouns #may or may not settle on not being cis but may explore sm things in the context of gnc presentation & get anything out of that #def not so much at work &/or any lasting changes to his own Look would be subtle enough to go uncommented uponst #reasonable when like different pants / shoes / shirts / watches / glasses / weights / facial hair have never gotten comments / remarks #take it back to [winston in Get Away rocket tee ft a necklace under the shirt] like nobody's gonna say anything #demigender things. try little a genderfluidity oneself. maybe some nonbinarity. agenderosity even. Things To Consider #oh and naturally maybe [sexuality?] questions re: say. having had a crush on someone who is sometimes Her sometimes Him could overlap here #like wow what if [bf] to wow what if My being her or his [gf]....

[enlichened]

BOTH transphobes and allies (and even some trans people) react to trans people existing by doubling down on gender roles/standards and it's REALLY making me mad

#like saying yeah there are many genders but basically everyone still boils down to looking like a 'male' or a 'female' #or insisting nonbinary ppl are women-lite irt afab ppl and completely ignored irt amab ppl for the most part #implying alllll binary trans people pass or want to. implying they all suddenly have the features you expect them to have. #i can only imagine how hard it is for intersex ppl being constantly disregarded too #personal / #yes yes of course all binary trans ppl look exactly like cis people. and basically so do nonbinary ppl #EXACTLY like the transphobes who figure they could 'tell' #edit: i meant trans ppl have to look like cis ppl Or Else yknow. but to allies its like. they cant exist not looking like cis ppl at all. #they either expect to be able to see us as a 'failed' version of our assigned gender. or passing as cis. #when usually its neither

[quff]

yall: This character is a gay man. You cannot fuck him.

me: I'm not a woman

yall: This character is a lesbian. You cannot fuck her.

me: I'm not a man either

#this is how i go through life liking both twinks and dykes simultaneously #i can like whoever the fuck i want and imagine myself making sweet sinful love to them whenever the fuck i want #specific types of sexualities become the wild west once the agender person enters the room and i like it that way #the only people i cant fuck are the cis-only folks and super straights but I'd never wanna fuck people like that anyway so #agender #less people need to make “turn character straight” mods and more people need to make “turn player character nonbinary” mods #you should be allowed to look however you want when looking for sex with literal fictional characters lol #if you're playing dragon age and make your character look like fuckhands mcmike Dorian will still want to fuck you #this should go for feminine or masculine outward appearance too #ffs many femboys are gay men so #yeah

[hadeantaiga]

The queer community is full of hurt people.

This can lead to a knee-jerk reaction when we hear someone else say "I am hurt". We look at them and say "shut up, you're not as hurt as me because you have X privilege".

This leads to femme afab queers being told "you can pass and hide as cishet, you're not as hurt as queer women who look queer, you're just complying with the patriarchy's ideals for beauty, you're hurting the queer community, you're anti feminist."

It leads to masc afab people, whether trans men or nonbinary or genderqueer etc, being told everything from "you're not as hurt, you can pass as a cis man" to "you have no desire to transition, you still look like a girl, shut up".

It leads to trans amab people who are nonbinary or genderqueer or agender etc, who still dress or look "masculine", being told that they are "unsafe" for queer spaces, that they don't belong at a "women and nonbinary meeting", that they are "basically just cis men trying to escape accountability".

It leads to asexuals being told "you don't even feel sexual attraction, the thing we're ostracized for! how could you possibly be oppressed? You're just straight and a prude" and aromantics being told "you're just straight and like casual sex, get over yourself" and both being told "you're just a cishet who wants to steal resources".

I have heard every single kind of queer person say "I have been harmed and ostracized by the queer community". Lesbians, gay men, bisexuals and mspec people, trans people, aroace people - every single one of us has expressed feeling ostracized by our own community.

On the plus side, this means you're not alone. Your group isn't the only one facing this. You have allies!! Other queer people who have gone through what you've gone through!

We need queer unity. We need to stop attacking each other. If you feel the urge to say "shut up, my group has been hurt MORE", go take a walk. Remember that every single one of us has been hurt.

#queer #trans #transgender #lesbian #gay #bisexual #pansexual #lgbtq #nonbinary #genderqueer

[lizardlicks]

I love working in medicine. I especially love working in medicine as a queer person because I get to see the entire breadth of our community. It's not what you think it is.

Do you know how many older gay and trans people I meet on a daily basis? It's not all young, thin teens with dyed hair.

There's this one gay couple, in their 60s, always get their lab work done together, always leaning into each other and laughing about some private joke of the week. They lost a bunch of their friends in the 80s, and they always remark about how good our facility is to them. They smile when they talk to me like yeah, we made it, we're still kicking and screaming, and by god that's how we'll go out.

This butch lady with pure silver that works at a mechinc's shop down the street and always calls me sugar when I see her. Checked in a person the other day who looked like the blanded most non-descript typical middle age cis dude, but went by a femme name and had x/nonbinary gender tag and they/them pronuns.

Then there's the young trans kids that are tto scared to dress the way they want most of the time, still uncertain about using their name and pronouns in a medical setting until we do it for them withiout them asking, treat them as the gender they prefer, and you just can see the weight fall off them as their care giver team treats them as human and with such care and love. They're always smiling by the end even if they had to do something frightening and painful.

The 20 and 30 somethings that I see going out of their way to interact with me because I'm proudly, visibly queer at work, most especially for them because we all need to know that there is someone looking out for us when we're vulnerable. We exist as this vibrant, complex tapestry, so far outside of the way we get stereotyped and talked about online and in the media. My god we are everywhere, experiencing life in ways you will never know about. You are not alone. You were never alone.

#lizard is starting to ramble