#you can't express your own opinion on your own blog without getting hate | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

novabl · 26 days

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God, the chapter hasn't even come out yet and people are already starting to demonize Doumeki. I'm really sorry, and it's probably not a popular opinion, but I really don't understand how Doumeki is supposed to know what's going on in Yashiro's head. He feels one thing, but says and does something completely different. We know that. Yes. But Doumeki can't read minds. Yashiro's body says yes. But in words, Yashiro also behaves sarcastic, cold and sometimes cruel towards Doumeki. Nothing changed. It's difficult to understand what's going on in a person's head. To believe that he loves you and if you open up to him again, this time he won’t leave you and you won’t get a bullet from him? Of course, I’m also annoyed by this whole situation and I want them to have a normal conversation! But to really demonize Doumeki... I can understand his behavior. How can I fully understand Yashiro's behavior. Yoneda wrote Doumeki as more than just a love interest. She created an interesting character with many good and bad qualities. With his own past and with his own traumas. Both Yashiro and Doumeki have huge trust issues. The fact that Yashiro is reflecting is already great progress!!! Doumeki keeps to himself but gives Yashiro space. They both go towards each other! Yes, not as quickly as we would like, but still. eh. It just upsets me that it feels like fans are ready to just destroy Doumeki for even the slightest bit of negative feelings towards Yashiro. As if Doumeki has no right to be jealous, offended, insolent... This makes me so frustrated(

Yeah, I understand this feeling well. I am not sure if you ever came across my blog a few months ago but I actually started out as almost a Doumeki defense blog lol. Most of my posts were about Doumeki’s pov because I felt there was a lot of harshness towards him. Ultimately I think the main issue those people have against Doumeki is that they don’t like Doumeki outside of being Yashiro’s love interest. That means Doumeki is not allowed to be a fully fleshed out character with his own insecurities and issues; he just needs to be whatever Yashiro needs him to be and he should know that even without any communication from Yashiro. Doumeki is supposed to be Yashiro’s lover, therapist and emotional whipping boy. A large part of the issue maybe certain interpretations of them as characters where there is a belief that Doumeki is this jealous, possessive man who only cares about having Yashiro at his side and Yashiro is the selfless one who only cares about doing what is best for Doumeki have influenced how we view their actions. We believe the worst of Doumeki while Yashiro is only at his mercy. The thing is Doumeki is acting in a way that Yashiro wanted in the past and pushing down his own desires to do it. He is not exactly happy with this arrangement either. Even when he was sweet, sensitive Doumeki, there was a lot of criticism towards him. There was even criticism of him for expressing he wants Yashiro to want only him. Doumeki is trying the best he can but Yashiro’s trauma goes beyond him. He can’t heal Yashiro nor should he be expected to. He also shouldn’t be expected to constantly sacrifice his own needs and desires for Yashiro and to never express any negative emotion about Yashiro’s actions. That is not an equal relationship. Some people have so much empathy for Yashiro but almost none for Doumeki. The most interesting thing is that if you even suggest Doumeki and Yashiro separate, those people would also hate that idea because Yashiro’s happiness is so reliant on Doumeki. I feel your frustration, anon. I feel like I can rant about this forever.

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mint-yooxgi · 4 months

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Está bien, voy a hablar en español porque si no no sé expresarme bien.

La persona que dijo que ese capítulo era "cringe" fue innecesariamente desagradable y maleducada, ahí no hay dudas.

Pero la forma en que respondisteis tanto tu como muchos otros seguidores estaba (en mi opinión) fuera de lugar. Se puede llamar la atención por un comportamiento sin llamar "hoe" a nadie.

Y seamos sinceros, sí que insinuaste que el motivo de ese mensaje era toda la discusión de las masterlist, y no que a "cringe anon" podría simplemente no hablerle gustado el capítulo. Así que ahí diste pie a que tiraran hate a otro autor. Está bien cometer errores, pero también debes saber aceptarlo y pedir disculpas cuando te equivoques.

Y por último (esto es una observación personal), siempre pides feedback cuando publicas algo, para lo cual estás en todo tu derecho. Pero el feedback es tanto positivo como negativo, también se debería dar una crítica constructiva sin miedo a que te ataquen por ello ni te acusen de tener otro motivo oculto para tener dicha opinión.

PD. You are very tallented but i think you are under a lot of stress, its okay to take a break and not answer while youre disturbed, and i mean that honestly im not saying it in a bitchy way

I'm providing a screenshot of the translation, as well as the copy-pasted version of the English translation down below so people can't keep coming back at me for 'mistranslating' something. This is getting way out of hand, and I'm tired of repeating myself and talking in circles.

Translation: Okay, I'm going to speak in Spanish because otherwise I won't know how to express myself well. The person who said that chapter was "cringe" was unnecessarily unpleasant and rude, there's no doubt about it. But the way you and many other followers responded was (in my opinion) out of line. You can get attention for a behavior without calling anyone a "hoe." And let's be honest, you did hint that the reason for that message was the whole masterlist discussion, and not that "cringe anon" might simply not like the chapter. So there you gave rise to another author being hated. It's okay to make mistakes, but you should also know how to accept it and apologize when you make a mistake. And lastly (this is a personal observation), you always ask for feedback when you publish something, which you have every right to do. But feedback is both positive and negative, constructive criticism should also be given without fear of being attacked for it or accused of having another ulterior motive for having that opinion.

I'm going to put my response under a read more, because this was a lot.

Okay, first things first. I would LOVE for you all to show me where I, emphasis on I, called anyone a "hoe". Because in my vivid recollection, and as you can see in this screenshot below. I, emphasis again on I, was called a "dumbass hoe always complaining."

I would literally LOVE to see exactly where I called someone a hoe. Please, point it out to me. Cause either I'm suffering from severe memory loss, or things are being wildly misinterpreted on someone else's part.

Also, please DO show me where I "gave rise to another author being hated". Cause, as far as I can tell, I never ONCE implied an author to be behind the 'cringe anon' ask. I recognize I got a few ASKS implying that, but at the end of the fucking day, MY followers were coming onto MY blog to defend ME from a fucking RUDE ASS ANON who sent CRITICISM, not even CONSTRUCTIVE to ME about a fic I posted at the END OF SEPTEMBER. It is now HALFWAY through DECEMBER. A little later for 'constructive' criticism, don't you think?

I already answered an ask regarding the timing of these whole anons, which can be found here. Feel free to peruse at your own leisure.

MAKE. IT. MAKE. SENSE.

Yes, I DO ask for feedback when I FIRST POST a work of fiction. But let's be very clear, that very first 'cringe anon' ask I got, was not fucking 'feedback'. I am going to be very fucking direct here when I say you all need to go learn the fucking difference between CONSTRUCTIVE feedback, and straight up criticism.

Something constructive would offer examples. It would not frame the ask as if I should be ashamed for even being capable of producing something 'cringe' and 'unaturally writen'. (Unnaturally written, I digress, but I'm quoting here; providing examples).

Here is the ask in question below which started this whole 'cringe anon' thing.

Again, referencing the TIMING of this whole ordeal, it is VERY fucking obvious this ask was sent because someone was butthurt I made THIS post.

WHY YOU SHOULD TAG AUTHORS IN YOUR FIC REC POSTS.

I'm glad to know that SO many of your attitude regarding a literally hate anon that was sent to me, while said anon was being very rude about it towards me, is "you should roll over and LET them step all over you." I've said it before, and I'll say it again. This is MY fucking blog. If I receive a rude ANONYMOUS message shitting all over my hard work, yeah, I'm going to be fucking upset about it. Just like I'm fucking upset about this now.

Also, I DON'T CONTROL OTHER PEOPLE'S ACTIONS!

Just as certain people will defend me regarding this entire ordeal, others will not. Others, like you here, anon, will not agree with me, but I feel like you're getting a lot of your facts mixed up, and THAT is not fair. You're free to oppose me, to say how I responded was rude, and perhaps it was, to some people. I honestly took the anons lightly, I made a joke out of it, as you can CLEARLY SEE in my responses to both anons. Until other people started banging their pots and pans, crying that I, emphasis on I, am the one calling other people 'hoe's, and being rude to hateful anons, I was not thinking about people actually coming onto MY BLOG and defending the ANONYMOUS PERSON sending ME hate!

And let's examine the idea of constructive criticism, shall we? You know when that is actually acceptable? When the product in question is still being constructed! Chapter Fifteen (15) of Paradise Gardens had been out for WELL over two months at this point. If I had gotten this same ask back when I was first ASKING for feedback, I probably would have shrugged it off, went, "okay, thanks, but that's just your opinion. Sorry you didn't enjoy the chapter." And guess what? My followers STILL would have more than likely come to my defence and send stuff like, "idk what that other anon was on about, but the chapter was incredible!"

No body knows my blog better than I do. I run it, for fuck's sake! But let's understand the full picture before you try and focus on the (very jumbled, and clearly very wrong) details you might have.

Am I adding more fuel to the fire at this point? Maybe. Am I fucking mad this keeps going on when all I originally asked for was basic fucking RESPECT for your favourite authors by showing them SUPPORT with a tag in your fic rec posts? Yes. Yes I fucking am.

Like, let's break this down for a second. This is ALL really about SOMEONE, emphasis on SOMEONE because I don't know fucking WHO it is since the 'cringe anon's came on exactly that, ANON. This is really ALL about someone taking time out of THEIR fucking day to be salty in MY ask box, on MY blog, because I made a post (again, linked above in all caps) stating why you should have basic respect, common curtesy, be a decent fucking human being, and tag your authors in your fic rec posts.

Good fucking day.

#ask #smh #sigh

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thegoodthegrandandtheugly · 4 months

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(Prev, not a confession) I’ll be waiting for this to be published btw. Do your job. Stop this karna favoritism (i would know when my submissions are ignored). you know he’s nowhere near a saint like yall worship. Read the Mahabharata with your brain!

Here is the submission this anon wanted posted so badly, for the record.

I am a very patient person but I am reaching the end of my rope when it comes to the back-and-forth with Arjuna and Karna fans. Your original submission would have been posted without any issue, but being needlessly aggressive to the mods is a good way to get chewed out and not have either of us make your submission into a post. My time actually is valuable, and I am not going to dedicate any more of it to you after this.

There is no "favoritism". We just haven't gotten much, if any, Karna hate, and if you've sent any in off-anon, then we've probably blocked you, most likely for breaking our rules elsewhere. If you're so desperate to know my own personal feelings about Karna, then here: I think he's okay. There are other characters that I think are more interesting. I also think Arjuna is okay.

While many posts ago I did say that I would make up every submission into a post, that has since changed given the step back Mod M and I had to take to reflect on how we want to run this blog long-term. There was a line we needed to draw, and we have drawn it. You just can't see it.

I don't owe you anything and being this overly hostile is a good way to get blocked and have your ask tossed in the trash. Considering we're being accused of Karna "favoritism", I can only imagine you're an Arjuna fan upset about the amount of negativity we've gotten about him, and to this I say: block our blog, and log off.

Your blorbo is not real. He is part of a giant collaborative artistic process featuring multiple artists and multiple writers and within the thousands of fans that FGO has, there are going to be people who interpret him differently than you and dislike him as a character and dislike how other people interpret him. If that offends you so much, that is your problem, and I refuse to let you make it mine. Go outside, and grow up.

This applies to everyone. Your favorite character is not real and being obsessed with them to the point that any negativity directed toward them or their fans causes you a visceral negative reaction in return is not healthy. Fictional characters are part of art, and art is intrinsically up for interpretation, and your interpretation is going to be challenged. Learn to regulate your negative emotions surrounding criticism of your blorbo, and discover actual coping mechanisms. Google is free.

Here, I'll even do some of the work for you. These are the first few links I found. Here's another one.

And if you have trouble regulating your negative emotions due to mental illness, I understand. But that does not give you any right to force it to be my problem. We are strangers to you.

You don't know me. You don't know Mod M. We would like to keep it that way. Neither of us have even expressed our opinions on who our favorite characters are because of how dedicated we are to staying as neutral as possible, or at least attempting something close to it. We don't want our opinions to potentially dissuade people from sending in criticism.

The point of this blog was to create an anonymous confession zone for the FGO and wider Fate fandom that allowed criticism to allow people a space to vent their frustrations about the fandom anonymously, because just as "people should be allowed to like things", people should be allowed to dislike things, and dislike things without fear of retaliation. They should also be able to like things you dislike without fear of being retaliated against, too.

We're not under any illusions we're doing something radical or supremely important. We just thought a space like this should exist within the fandom. That's it.

And if you don't like us, fgocriticisms exists too, and they're a lovely person. I'm sure they wouldn't mind getting your submissions.

This anon is going to be blocked, and I suggest people keep an eye out in the coming days for unnecessary retaliation against some random person within the fandom who likes Karna who might be scapegoated for the crime of not liking something this anon likes, or interpreting something a different way than this anon does. God forbid they harass them for thinking they run this blog.

This is the most pathetic ask we've gotten. For your sake, and ours, I hope you go outside and take a nice walk if you can. Vitamin D deficiency can cause irritability, after all.

-Mod D

Also, we have had a negative submission regarding Karna sent in and posted before, they just don't get traction because they don't mention Arjuna. If you're going to be a hater, at least be dedicated instead of bitching when it's convenient.

-Mod M

#not a post

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alittlefrenchtree · 1 month

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My problem (mine, my personal opinion) is when a fandom has to behave like a cult otherwise you are immediately labeled as a hater and as a person who wants to prevent others from being happy (who's stopping you? seriously), when you have to have the same opinion as everyone or you're a hater, when you have to swallow any product that's passed to you just because that actor is there and you have to show hype otherwise you're a hater, when you can't have half an opinion on certain things because you are a hater.

It's also absurd that every time we express an opinion on something regarding Nick we have to make full-page disclaimers specifying that we are not haters that we love him that he is very talented otherwise it seems like we are attacking him, this too is becoming very annoying for me in this fandom. I love Nick, his first film I saw was Cinderella (better if I don't say what I think of that movie or they will think I'm an hater) but he's not (objectively) an untouchable Hollywood actor and this glass bell they're dropping on him is annoying.

For me, The Idea of You is a problematic film, I'm sorry, not so much for the story of the older woman who has a relationship with a young boy plus the daughter's musical crush (even if... Imagine it had been with reversed roles and it was a adult man and a young girl.. Today they would be canceling that film as if it were a crime) but it is problematic for the background of the story and it is problematic that it is all clearly inspired by a real existing person (from whom they also copied movements and clothes from when he was a boy as well as being inspired by a relationship he had when he was 17 and with a 40-year-old woman) and unconsciously or consciously continuing to use his name for this promotion.

It's not Nick's fault, although I doubt over time he didn't know what was behind that story and I find it ridiculous to sell it as the "film of the decade" (it was literally written in a review) and think such a thing is even possible? That's where objectivity is missing. Have fun with two hotties having sex (and when I read that the cinema was screaming with such scenes I felt a shiver of horror) but at least the objectivity of admitting and accepting that it will definitely not be the film of the decade ☠️ You can be fan of someone and being objective, I swear.

I'm obviously too snobbish and boring to close my eyes and watch anything just because the actors are beautiful, but give others the opportunity to express different opinions without getting angry as if someone had offended your family member.

Thank you for answering with your own words. I won’t share much more on this topic I think because it doesn’t make much sense to post it on my blog when I’m just a spectator of it and mostly because it comes back to the same thing:

Find your own people. Plenty people who love Nick have no problem not loving every single work of his. Well, even most of them won’t even mention Purple Hearts because they hate it so much, so you know, people with their own contradictions. Fandom is no unity and all Nick’s fans aren’t sharing the same opinions about everything.

About the Idea of You — I might not entirely agree here. I agree on the gender switch and double standards on age gaps but. Just because the thing it was inspired by something that might be perceived as problematic doesn’t mean the movie is problematic. The book (that I didn’t read) was already something different from reality and the movie is different from the book so I’m not sure how much the problematic label can still stand. Hayes isn’t 17. Real people with real stories that aren’t all morally above reproach inspire art all the time. Most of the time, you just don’t know about it because fiction changes and mixed things and make them different.

I’d take "the film of the decade" with a pinch of salt but for reasons that seem different than yours. In other words, not because TIOY can’t be that but because the concept itself doesn’t mean anything. The film of the decade according to who? Based on what? Grades from audiences? Grades from professional? Box office money? Streaming numbers? Awards? So called objectivity?

What would be the movie of the decade then? Dune? It won’t be the people who won’t see it or who won’t like it. It won’t even be for all people who saw it and loved it so how do you decide what is a potential contender to be the movie of the decade? I don’t see the point of asking people to admit anything, even more when they aren’t the ones who have written the words. It’s a fun movie, people are having fun with overly enthusiastic reviews because the premiere was a fun night for them. Most people know that already. It’s no big deal. Like it's no big deal if you don’t like the movie or think it will be trash.

Turns out even if I agreed with some of the statements you made previously, I don’t agree much with the development of some ideas.

#alft asks

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hellfire--cult · 2 months

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I’m the anon from earlier and I just wanted to say because obviously it was not clear that of course I am reblogging the smaller creators I think deserve recognition. However I’m a nobody and my less than 100 followers aren’t really going to drum up many readers for the fics that are already lacking in notes. You can of course reblog whatever you like and I already said that I have read the popular fics you reblogged and agree they deserve the recognition. But I can’t make a post about this on my own blog without being eaten alive and seen as a pariah and potentially dragging down the small creators I’m trying to lift up in the process. I’m sorry for choosing your blog to make a statement. It’s nothing against you personally. It’s a pattern I’ve noticed. People make a big effort to bring life back into the community but only want to give it back to their favorite most popular writers that already get hundreds of asks about their work and have thousands of notes on their stories. The bigger accounts all reblog one another and the smaller ones are left in the dust. How is a story with 25 notes supposed to compete on the dash when you can’t scroll down 2 posts without running into TYP again with comments all through the tags saying how amazing it is and it changed the reader’s life. They don’t. No one wants to read a story with under 100 notes if they’re being consistently spammed with stories that have thousands. What I’m trying to say is, you reblogging 3 of the most popular fics in the Eddie fandom on the first day of this new event thingy was the perfect example of what I’ve been seeing happen during this type of “lift up the creators” effort before the throwback Thursday was even created. I’m really sorry if I made you feel bad and I want to stress that I’m not trying to control what you do on your blog and I’m certainly not coming here to ask you to do something I wouldn’t do. It’s just the fact that some stories, like those you reblogged in particular are really not the target audience in my own opinion, for something like this as they’ve never left the dash in the first place and certainly not been forgotten. The thought behind it was to bring back stories that people missed because they were too busy reading the most popular fics in the fandom to give others a chance. So by everyone just “bringing back” the most popular fics. Not only are the smaller stories missing out again but anyone currently posting stories from smaller accounts are being overshadowed as well. It’s the double whammy for the small blog. Anyway thank you for participating in bringing back older stories. Also thank you for being kind to me in your reply.

I totally get what you're saying!

I have many mutuals that do in fact reblog many creators of any kind, be it with lots of notes, or not, and I do stop and read and reblog. It also depends the mutuals one has!

I have people I follow that are solely readers, so they reblog any kind of the fics that are out there.

I went into my archive yesterday to see my first fic reblogs from july of 2023, because I have so many fics in my head I do remember reading, but I can't, for the love of me, remember the exact titles or remember the usernames or I thought I did and they changed it or deactivated (which happened a lot this past year)

And I am not going to lie, I felt a little thrown back with your first anon, I felt a little anxious because I didn't reblog many at first, so I was sort of taken aback. But thank you for being kind, and show your anger at what happened with this event for now, and to show me you didn't come to talk to me to express yourself in a harsh or hateful way, and thank you for feeling like you actually CAN express yourself to me

But this isn't an event from yesterday only! It's going to happen every thursday, and I am sure more and more fics are going to see the light so others can find them

#roe answers #ttt event

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maxverstepponme · 1 year

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I want to express my own opinions about the whole Carmen thing dear Steppy. It is gonna be a little long so bare with me 😅

As someone who has been diagnosed with epilepsy, I can tell you it sucks. I am a little bit lucky also because I only had two seizure in almost 6 years (thanks to proper diagnosis and proper medication) BUT even then I could not leave the bed for at least 3 days because when it happens especially your muscles experience contractions due to it and that leaves you exhausted. You want to constantly sleep because of it. And another thing that is most effected when you experience seizures is your jaw. Like you can't open it properly, sometimes you bite your tongue during the seizure. I could not eat properly when it happened. I only consumed soups for like 3 days straight. I am NO WAY saying that she is lying but I believe that some level of exaggeration might be involved if she is well enough to travel long distance. Because when this happens you go through blood tests, MRI, a scanning called EEG to basically monitor the activity on your brain and even some genetic test are involved if your family has history of seizures. If she is bad as she claims to be, she would not be allowed to leave the hospital until the source of this is found. Even if the source is discovered they would give her rest for a while. For example, my doctor who is a very well-kown neurology professor in the city that I live in advised me to lower the amount of screen-time I spend on my phone, computer and all other electronic devices, eat very well and have a very healthy and regular sleep pattern. So I am pretty sure travelling long distance with possible jet-lag is so not okay for someone in her situation at the moment. And also if she is having this episodes back to back very frequently she should be doing NOTHING but lying in her bed because it is very dangerous due to the fact that you never know the next one is coming. (Some long-term patients can feel it coming and it is called an aoura and basically you taste blood-like metallic on your tongue) For me when it first happened, I fell onto my back and hit the concrete floor and suffered back aches for the next 3 to 4 months. It was THAT bad. And also the length of the seizure is very important as well. If it is back to back and longer than 5 minutes, it is alarming. Of course if she is properly diagnosed and started using her prescripted medication, after a week or two rest, she can continue doing anything and everything and get back to her normal day-to-day life.

I am sorry this got out of hand a little but health is no joke. The only reason i decided to write this long rant is to paint a vivid picture about things that have been mentioned before in this blog about this topic. And lastly, everyone who will be reading this please do not take this as hate towards Carmen and an anon basically saying she is lying (on the contrary I like her very much she is the only wag that I follow on insta I love an unproblematic and doing on her own thing without causing any harm to anyone type of person) I hope she gets well very soon 🙏🏻

Don’t worry nonnie! I understand where this is coming from and you’re not doing anything wrong. Thank you for sharing and I hope you’re okay! ❤️

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hamliet · 2 years

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happy july kate 💖 hope you're doing well. as a long time lurker of your blog, you and your work has slowly highlighted my need to create and work on my creativity, especially when it comes to things i loved to do before such as drawing and writing. ngl it's been hard because ive been comparing myself to other artists and writers. for example i saw someone write this beautiful dragon-pheonix reincarnation fic for their ship. the plot, prose and the way everything intertwined was beautiful (1/?)

(2/?) but i look at myself and can barely muster up the courage to write vecause how could i when there's already people who write and draw that well. a lot of my perfectionism comes from past abuse but the way it's manifesting here is such a pain. therapy has helped in healing but god, im so scared to start. have you ever caught yourself in a similar dilemma?

(3/?) another thing i wanted to ask about is how do you approach incorporating other people's analysis and stuff into your own work? obviously give credit where it's due but im always wondering whether it's worth it to be reiterating the same stuff when someone has already done a comprehensive job of it. i guess an example could be lore related to some kind of show or game.

(4/?) last question but do you ever catch yourself justifying your ship? there's like 50 different reasons you can ship characters,,,, maybe I spend too much on twitter but I feel like I have to justify a lot or at least there's an expectation to do that. it makes it harder for me to enjoy other ships (even the ones i dont care for) because now im expecting others to justify for all the same reasons. perhaps i need a fandom break or need to set better boundaries

lmaosorry for the word vomit in your ask box. it's been bugging me a lot and i didn't know who else to ask this since my friends don't really participate in fandom spaces 😶😶 hope this isn't too much of a bother but thank you for even entertaining my chaotic rambling. have a great weekend 💝

Hi Lurker! Oh, I can relate for sure. I think most writers/artists can.

I'm not sure my advice will be anything you haven't already heard, but I can tell you that by living it I know it's true: write it/draw it anyways. Imperfect, sure. Nothing is perfect, and art is subjective. There are so many needs, and no artpiece can satisfy every soul on this planet.

Do it anyways. Even if it's not perfect. You'll get better and better without even realizing it. You'll have moments where you're like I'M REGRESSING *cries* and then someone will tell you this was their favorite thing ever. Art isn't a static thing you just create and leave alone; it's more like an interactive thing, a living thing even at the risk of sounding super fucking cheesy--because it impacts people in different ways, ways we can't predict when creating it. And the act of creating it will impact you, too.

As for the analysis part, give credit and write it on your own. You learn by writing--sometimes it's fun and you'll realize oh hey, I just uncovered something new as I was writing that I hadn't even thought of!

As for justifying, sometimes? And sometimes not. Less so the older I get, lol, and I don't think it's a great thing ever to feel like you have to morally justify everything from each and every potential dislike. Just accept that other people have different tastes, limits, and preferences--which of course is way easier said than done! Give yourself grace and allow yourself to rant from time to time (privately). Art does affect our emotions, and it's good to express those (just not good to be an asshat about it or judge people for it, but expressing "I don't like this opinion" privately to a friend isn't that).

Twitter is the worst for that, though. Everyone's jockeying to be the Most Moral and Change the World Through Yelling At Others You Don't Even Know on there, and I hate it so much. Even as I, y'know, go on pretty much every day and therefore have no right to complain. I do this to myself. Sue me. I'm human too and def a hypocrite for participating in the Bird Site Madness but oh well.

Wow, that's a tangent. Anyways. We're all just doing the best we can, Lurker. Even if you can't quite bring yourself to start art yet, or to stop comparing, give yourself some grace for that. It doesn't make you a loser and it doesn't mean you never will start. All of us have those moments--moments that seem way longer than they should, I'm afraid.

But you know you want to make something. That's good. You deserve to have your voice heard, to follow what you want. The abilities you want to cultivate deserve time and space to grow. You deserve to make imperfect art because you deserve to be here, because you're alive and life is growing and all people should have their voices heard. <3

#ask hamliet #advice #fandom

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limeade-l3sbian · 11 days

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Your blog has been a safe place for me. I’m really grateful to you. I feel ashamed that I’m not a gold star lesbian. I tried so hard to be with guys back in high school and make it work. And people were shocked when I came out because I was “boy crazy”. It always felt so wrong and something profoundly missing. Not only that but negative experiences with males, wether I was with them or not. So I thought, maybe I just don’t like boys because they are mean and I haven’t found the right one yet. But it never worked. I thought, surely I must be attracted to boys because I like gay fanfiction. I must be bi right? Because cartoon anime boys are just like real men of course. And being from the rural south, homosexuality would get you hated at worst and at best you’d be made fun of. It kills me that I feel like I wasted my time. Accepting myself for who I am, and what I really am truly attracted to, is scary as hell. But I tried to imagine myself married to a man and it just made me want to throw up. But being with a woman seemed so much more natural and right. I’m out and grateful to be here. I feel so much less alone and free. I feel ashamed that I ever fell into comphet (I think is what it’s called)? Not sure how to get past it :( I wish I could go back in time to young me and tell her it’s ok to be gay. But thank you for your blog. I check it every day and it always cheers me up. Also Tiana is the best.

Firstly, I am incredibly grateful and glad that my blog makes you feel safe. <3 Thank you for the love.

But in relation to your shame about not being a “gold star lesbian”, I think there are some things worth keeping in mind. Specifically in relation to my personal blog, since I have had public and private asks who’ve expressed a certain envy that I am so open about who I am in comparison to how long it took them. And it is this: I grew up in California – arguably the most liberal state in the United States. I also grew up around a family that was more concerned with my grades than my sexual orientation (when I came out to my mom, she literally said, “You’re still going to college, right?”). I was allowed to be a tomboy growing up not just with permission from my family but from the culture of my state that really just didn’t care.

In any sort of “controversial” opinion I make about personal choice, I always do my best to preface this with these facts. Because where you grow up and what culture has done its best to mold you into its intended/ideal shape. I reblogged a post from @lesbienyu where she talked about how a lot of progressive areas in the U.S. have this illusion that hyper-religiousness only exists in southern boondocks (people seem to generally tie it strictly to the south). And there is this part:

(The whole post is very insightful, and I encourage people to go read it.)

I do my best to reblog and really read perspectives from other women that I can't relate with because it might resonate more with a follower of mine and just gives me more rounded place to come from when I talk about things. And this is one of those things. I can't relate to this. I have never faced judgement based on my chosen religion or lack thereof.

So why am I saying all this? Why am I linking other posts and talking at length about all this? Because you and I come from very different worlds, anon. You come from the rural South and I'm suburban-ish/city-ish Californian. We were never going to have the same story of finding ourselves and that's okay! You existed in a space where who you were conflicted with your safety and your quality of life. I existed in one where it wasn't hated or celebrated - it just didn't matter.

I only hate that you had to traumatize yourself through no choice of your own. You are not shameful for succumbing to a system that came before you and will unfortunately outlive you. I want you to enjoy being out and enjoy coming here and seeing lesbian pride without shaming the little version of yourself that was just trying to survive as best she could. She'll be glad what she grew up into . <3

#ask

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neptune-ian · 1 month

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Here's my opinion on the entire situation!!

Firstly all of you anons who slided into the other reader's dms lemme ask you was anyone's name mentioned directly? Was someone's name mentioned regarding this controversy directly in any form? Where is the evidence that she targetted a specific person? While I myself agree that some pov could be different from what's being mentioned by the reader (Neptune) did she asked you all to blindly follow it? You all are creating a fuss our of nothing and manipulating both the readers based on your own assumptions this is what some of you all did even before..do you all really think it's okay?? No is asking you to follow things if you don't like a certain post don't engage with it and don't name a person when a specific person's name is not entirely mentioned I'm not saying her pov was right or wrong what I am saying is you all had no right to create stories yourself and cause the unnecessary drama. Both the readers have a life outside Tumblr kindly understand that they are adults not kids so they know what they are saying and what they are doing, they are not trying to Target each other you all are acting in that way!! I'm surely going to get a lot of hate for this but don't interrupt your legs in things you shouldn't- the post wasn't regarding a specific reader but for all readers in general!! If she wanted to Target someone she could've said it loudly, the reader themselves could see the problem if they felt like they were being targeted who are you all to assume? And being adults they'd prefer to talk in pvt instead of you all creating such controversies and rumours! Kindly grow up stop this nonsense- there are literally 100+ accounts of celebrity and idols tarot, and 200+ accounts of tarot in general how do you know that post was specifically about them? I'm not trying to protect their pov or post but rather the hate someone is receiving for just stating their opinion. If you could see the whole post there were many points not just some specific words you all mentioned in another reader's asks. I understand misconceptions are likely to appear but without any evidence and a specific naming you can't just throw someone under the bus!! Kindly calm down keep engaging with people you wanna engage with no one is stopping you, the Reader just gave their opinion and what they felt right they didn't said they are a god and can't make mistakes. You don't agree move on- this is the first time some reader has made post about red-flags so why are you all creating a fuss now?

Peace ✌🏻

Girl they « read » one section of the whole post I wrote do you think they will read your ask? 🤣😭

That was stupid of them for sure and I hope they know it because gosh 😬 how will they survive in 2024, a world where opinions are expressed freely in free countries and opinions should be seen as such not as the truth (except scientific prooves, no one can contradict something that has been prooved by science over and over again).

I will say, those people won’t be here on my blog any longer as shame may be deeply rooted in their mind right now. We won’t see them and they will just stick with other blogs that they love so much. At this point it’s a lost cause 😮‍💨

#neptune’s talk #neptune’s blog #…

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blissfulsaturn · 4 years

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Seriously? You are going to drag Lily because people had nice things to say to her about how lovely she is on her birthday, when the very next post I scroll to here is about Armie's smile?

Where did i drag Lily in? I was talking about her fans and how all they see is the outside of this person and nothing else. There's nothing wrong with wishing her good things on her birthday, everyone should get good wishes on their birthday and feel special. I was just saying that it's kinda sad that all her fans only see one side of her and don't know the other, which is fine because she only displays her looks.🤗

And Armie's gorgeous smile is bad because....?🥵🥵

The next time you jump from one side to the other, and scroll through our blogs, please read carefully. 😘

#i knew this was coming #you can't express your own opinion on your own blog without getting hate #oh well

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nightswithkookmin · 3 years

Text

GOING ON A HIATUS

Thanks to everyone who's taken the time out to read my posts and has enjoyed it so far. It's really been fun and entertaining exchanging thoughts and having these much deeper ship discussions.

I thought this issue was gonna go away but I woke up this morning to more people messaging me about finding my last video analysis on several other platforms without appropriate credit.

But that's not disturbing. The disturbing part is the people sliding into people's DM'S on other platforms to get them to take down my video because they don't want people sharing my content on other platforms as they believe it would only make my blog popular.

For those worried about this whole credit business, thanks for showing this much concern for me? I really appreciate the love and concern if it's from a genuine place of concern. Thank you...

I think some of you already know this by now or might have figured it out, I am a law student, I am very much well aware what is and what isn't within my rights? Lol

I honestly didn't see this whole credit thingy as a big deal. It's not. Not to me. Lol. I repost people's photos without credit too all the time. Often, it's because I don't know who to credit and most time my lazy ass just forgets to. Lol. I think it's normal? It's inconsequential I mean.

The videos I use are usually often water marked by the appropriate owners so I don't go through the hustle of figuring this whole credit business out. If I should decide to come back here again I will check that habit of mine?

While this whole credit business is not a big deal to me, malicious slander and defamation to my character is and I don't take it lightly.

It has been brought to my attention that some Jikookers from Tumblr have since been sliding into people's DM's on other platforms asking them to take down my video and or remove the credit they give to my post.

They are telling people I am problematic, calling me the Taekook Lives of the Jikook community. That I have been spreading lies about Jikook, that the Jikook Tumblr community hates me or something like that and to further caricaturize me and make me appear more evil in order to get people to turn on me and hate me, they make up the most ridiculous lies about me claiming that I believe a notorious serial killer is innocent.

Now I have since deleted my YT account because I don't want my colleagues to find out I am into shipping too lol- shipping is a guilty pleasure of mine and I know how this fandom works unfortunately. I've been a silent part of it since 2014. I mean it's started already. The Doxing and shit.

The original post under which these replies are from couldn't save sadly as my account has been deleted but you can see from my notifications the general feel of what my interests outside shipping looks like.

I am interested in a myriad of topics, from literature, Aliens, writing, Harry Potter, history, activism, advocacy, philosophy, law, politics, NASA, and mystery and murder among other things.

My quora is mostly filled with notifications from my Book community and True crime community and often I do share my thoughts and answer questions with regards to the psychology of murderers, legal evidence, notorious villains in literature- well I guess now you know the kind of lawyer I want to be if and when I'm able to complete law school.

But what has my interest in these topics got to do with Jikook and shipping please?? How does this prove I hate Jikook and spread lies about them?

This Kookie Min Monsta person slipped into someone's DMS and asked the person who had put up my video analysis to take it down or discredit me because to her I am problematic. She is not the only one.

You want so bad to paint me black- no pun intended just to win an argument? You claim I am the evil malicious person here but I am not the one sliding into people's dms trying to take credit away from people for their hardwork, spreading hate and negative energy, making things up to manipulate people's perception of others and get them to hate and turn on them- and all because of A SHIP? Damn. This is pathetic.

Who died and made you the gatekeeper of the jikook shipping community? Honestly antics like these don't work on me try again.

I made a video commentary on my Booktube YT account- yes I am part of the book YouTube community as well sue me or better still slip into their inboxes and tell them I voted for Trump therefore I hate chipmunks.

The commentary I made on YT months ago was when I was in the highs of finding a new passion and it was on Ann Rule's book, The Stranger Besides Me- a true crime novel on Ted Bundy which I found so poorly written that at the end of the book it left with me wondering whether or not Ted Bundy was guilty at all!

The Author's writing style which deviates from most writing styles of True Crime novels I have read gave me trust issues as I stated in the video. It felt more as if she was writing a made up fictional novel than an actual True Crime novel but because she knew Ted Bundy in person she made it seem as if we just had to believe her account.

Then there was this whole thing about the police not being able to match the DNA samples taken from his rape victims, to his own Semen because his Semen was DNAless- in lay man's terms. I'll spare you the technicalities involved.

As I stated in that video, I do believe Ted Bundy was guilty but I do not have much faith in the Judicial system, or criminal procedures or even the Author of that book- a sentiment most people within the true crime community share as well. We just had differing views on whether the writer's style took away from the narrative and waters down on the extent of Bundy's guilt.

We had a Similar conversation about Chris Watt. If the community I was engaging in didn't have a problem with my commentary why do you? Please don't meddle in things you know nothing about. It's embarrassing.

The conversation about whether or not Ted Bundy is innocent is moot but a philosophical one. It has nothing to do with Ted Bundy's guilt but more so the criminal procedures involved in his case and the different accounts that exists surrounding his case.

He was electrocuted, he confessed to his crimes no damn person with brains would think or assume he is innocent and I never said anything of that nature drew any conclusions to that effect.

Besides, I moved on from Ted Bundy a long time ago. Now I am into the Serial Killer who writes death poems and signs it off with drawings of the size of his dick at his crime scenes- mind your own business please or don't and let's have an intellectual discourse about him? Lmho.

I am also into cat memes if you care to know and have a whole IG dedicated to cat memes. I believe human beings are the most dumbest species in all the galaxies and when the Aliens arrive I am snitching.

When my mind is at rest, I often wonder if Aliens have masculinity complex and if they do whether or not their masculinity is contingent on the size of their dicks or whether they have to engage in a battle to the death with an alien grizzly bear to determine who is the man.

I love BTS memes too- a little too much and often end up debating over the internet with random people over whether BTS memes are funnier than cat memes- I'm weird, true. But how does all of that make me a bad person?

It's crazy how these people can go on these other platforms to ask people to take down the credits to my posts as well as my posts itself but can't ask people who run to these other platforms with misinterpretations of my work to take those down.

Instead they come on here to call me out for people's interpretations of my work?? It doesn't work that way. You are the author of your own opinion and interpretation of other people's work. You don't call out the original author for someone's opinion of their work. If that were so I would be emailing Stephanie Meyer for Anna Todd and her After series. Get some education.

I have since blocked this person and others whose Tumblr I have been able to find thanks to all those that's helped me finding them on here.

My gf also tried reaching out to the persons who shared my post after we realised this was becoming an issue and had asked them to credit her or my blog- but honestly I don't care about that yet she won't give it a rest. Lol. My ride or die this one. Sigh.

However, we realized soon that this is not about 'stealing' credit- can't call someone out for not giving credit when I suck at that myself. Lol.

This is about people's malicious intentions and their attempts to silence me and take away my right to freedom of expression however way that they can. This is wrong and evil.

I honestly don't care for all these ship politics these people are engaged in. I've had enough intelligent conversations to know the distinction between arguments that flows from bruised egos and actual conversations around a subject matter.

This whole I am right, she is wrong politics... y'all get that the point of having an opinion is not to be right, right? We all cant have the same perspective and you can't call someone a liar for holding views that is different from yours. That is a bizarre mentality to have.

As I stated in my post, that content I made was a rebuttal to the Taekook theories running around on the internet alleging JK glared at Tae when he pulled on his shoulder because he was jealous Tae and Jin were having fun behind him. He wasn't. He was worried Tae was gonna expose him and JM holding hands behind Suga.

If you don't think they were holding hands then Taekookers were right and his reaction was because he was Jealous of Taejin I guess...

But thats your truth. That's not my truth. I don't believe Taekook is real. JK isn't jealous of Taejin he is not Twelve- but then again he was sneaking around behind Suga holding his boyfriend's hands so I guess he is twelve? Lol. Jikook!

Do you.

But please stop the evil malicious attacks and seek immediate help. There is such a thing as right and wrong and this is just plain wrong. Your Karma and chakra are in the negative nodes and you need to fix it. It is not funny anymore.

Thank you to everyone who has shown genuine concerns for me in the past few days and thank you so much for trying to stand up for me. There are good people on here and I have met and interacted with a lot of them and thank you so much for such a wonderful experience and insightful discussions.

I don't hate people because of our differences in thoughts, beliefs, opinions. There's always room for dissenting opinions in every sphere. At the very least, we can agree to disagree and shake on it. But You can't make up shit about people just to prove your opinion is right and their opinions and views which differ from yours are 'wrong.

I am not a victim though, and they are not bullies, psst. They are just vile pathetic human beings exposing the greens of their insides. What you do says more about who you are as a person and human being. And this is who they are.

Just be a nice decent human being. That's what this world needs. Fix whatever is broken inside of you and free your mind and spirit. Hate is never the answer.

I'm going to be away for a while because I have studies, work and other interests I want to pursue at the moment- it's just my AADD flaring up so if you see me henceforth raving about Nana at least you'd know why. Lol. She's wrecking my Jimin bias. Lmho.

Spread positivity, do the right thing, stand up for a good cause and keep supporting Jikook. Jikook is real.

Until we meet again.

Signed,

GOLDY

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akookminsupporter · 3 years

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I'm the anon who sent the message about JM. I wouldn't send a message to your blog if I wasn't OT7 or if I wasn't a Jikook supporter. First of all, I never said I wanted them to break-up and go have solo careers! I said taking a break, not breaking-up! I assume your blog is an open space for discussion and in my opinion BTS, or any group for that matter, will likely not go on for 10+ years without taking some sort of a break at some point. The break I was thinking of can be a couple of months or a year. But if they can go on, then kodus to them and I'll continue to support them - I never said I don't want to. I love every member otherwise why would I want to see more of their individual styles and talents? I don't see how is that anti OT7 or mean that I dislike BTS, as you implied. For example, Taejin have acting, the others, I assume, don't so that's something they can't do as OT7. That's only if Taejin want to act. Let's be clear, I'm just being a regular fan imagining things they may or could do. If they do, I'd love it but under no circumstances am I saying they should do it or have to do it. If they don't it has no effect on me. And by "doing their own thing", mixtapes is of course part of that too since the 4 vocal line members haven't done that. It was actually exactly what I was talking about in regard to JM and music. Sorry I wasn't more clear but I thought mixtapes is the status quo when we talk music. I talked about JM specifically because he's the one I haven't heard mention a mixtape yet like Jin said D-2 made him want to work on his own and because he's my 2nd bias along with JK. So I was simply expressing how much I love the music JM made and would like more - just like we get excited for JK and Tae's songs and mixtapes - and debated on whether JM may or may not. Again I'm just saying I would like a mixtape from him not that he has to and in my original message, I said "only if he wants to of course". I didn't mention Jikook at all, let alone predicted them breaking up if BTS takes a break! Jikook relationship isn't dependent on BTS work. I don't know how you reached that conclusion from my message? I predicted that the hate could slow down because as I said in my first message, they won't be under so much of a microscope, perhaps Taekookers would lose interest OR there won't be so much content for them to inspect OR because there would be other things to focus on like the members mixtapes or dramas or whatever work they choose to do. Hence, less hate thrown at JM and even Tae and JK. When I said "find his footing" I meant regarding my opinion of him having insecurity and lack of confidence, which I mentioned and I could be wrong and we don't have to agree. I feel a little disappoint that my message point was about JM and his potential music but it got turned into something else maybe due to my unclear language, English is my 2nd language.

Hi anon, thanks for coming back.

Your message started with: I really look forward to a time when they would maybe take a break and venture out and do their own thing. I took that to mean that you really want it to happen. And like I said, I found it a bit weird that a fan was wishing? that the group would take a break. Obviously they deserve to rest, they are human! And they work very hard but that line in conjunction with the rest of your message made me understand that, that you weren't a fan, fan of BTS.

Looking forward to literally means: await something eagerly. That's why I assumed you weren't a BTS fan, but I also apologized in advance if I was wrong, and look! I was. So apoligise about that.

I don't understand how releasing a mixtape would distance Jimin from the fandom. But obviously it's your opinion and you're entitled to have it. I understood your ask differently, now that you explained it I see that I was wrong about some things, so I apologize.

My blog is an open space for discussion, and we did that, didn't we?

#anon #ask #JM #OT7

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dxmedstudent · 3 years

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Hi Dx, I hope you're well! I would like to ask if you could express your thoughts/opinions on the effect of medical influencers (medical students/doctors who create social media profiles to promote products/services for for-profit companies) on the public perception of medical professionals? I personally can't help feel that there's something unethical about it but I am very keen to heed your opinion because you are one of the most conscientious and introspective professionals I have encountered

I find this tricky, and I've been thinking about this. To be honest, I find having a public persona on social media under your name, tricky full stop. I find medtwitter mildly anxiety inducing, and it feels like it's very easy to reply to something quickly with not the best phrasing and for conversation to miss a lot of nuances. I don't know who decided that a microblogging platform was where everyone is going to discuss deep and in depth issues that you can't bloody summarise in 140 characters, but somehow everyone is rolling with it despite the fact that being forced to sum things up pithily actively contributes to a lot of the confusion and hostility and side-picking that goes on.

Plus it can be hard to mantain a social media presence that others find acceptable, and taking advertising out of the equation, I feel we need to do more to humanise people's online presences. I have friends of friends that I'm not sure whether they are just cautious or possibly the most boring people on the planet because their social media is dry AF. It's worse with non doctors because whilst doctors are dry about medicine, but there are people out there who act like highway maintenance or sewage are the only thing they are even slightly interested in. Now, I'm not sure if they are just very cautious about being professional (or maybe they really are just...boring), but I know that if I was engaging socially under my real name and qualifications I might be very anxious to post anything too personal. But I think we need to normalise professionals revealing a little of themselves and their personality, because that's what makes people human and engaging and likeable. No, I don't' think professionals need to be posting weekly recipes or mommy blogs on their social media, but the odd thing that reminds us they have interests or a life isn't a terrible thing. To me, if our social media could literally be repaced by a bot that churns out bland platitudes, then what's the point in having a public social media presence at all? Now, on to advertising. I've seen plenty of professionals on social media, and it's not uncommon for people to advertise things/be sponsored. If I'm going to say that a lawyer or author or other content creator can have a sponsor, it'd feel unfair for me to say a doctor can't. But I do think there would have to be provisos for me to say it was ethical. I do think that social media still does a rubbish job of people making clear that they are advertising - so often it seems that influencers are covertly being paid a lot of money to speak positively about brands, and this is not always being acknowledged. I find the extent that things are being sponsored now disconcerting, mainly because the extent is often not clear. I find this difficult partly because I'm in the UK. I'm paid by the government (essentially) rather than by patients or my hospital specifically, and having a customer or sponsor relationship with medical companies just isn't how we work - i get paid the same whatever drugs I recommend, and what I recommend will be based on whatever NICE says (usually) and what my local trust has decided. I have a belief that if I professionally endorse something, it should be something I believe in or have used enough to feel it's worth recommending. And I think being doctors, it'd make sense for us to hold our online representatives to this standard. Would I advertise anything? Probably not - I can imagine that I may have occasionally recommended art equipment or tools that I've used, but I can't see myself ever recommending or advertising anything that I wouldn't recommend freely of my own volition. Now, in practice if a doctor advertises a scrubs supplier or something innocuous then I probably won't be too mad, because that is not something that their qualification has any bearing on, and I can buy that they might have a favourite brand of scrubs or pencil or whatever. i.e. I'd be disappointed to find out that they'd never used what they are advertising and are only doing it for the money. But I'd hope that they wouldn't be desperate enough financially to advertise something that they didn't think was good. But personally, if it's something medical, then I feel they'd have to follow what the usual rules are for advertising medical services in their country. I'd expect them not to advertise something unless they make it explicitly clear whether they are receiving funding from the company, and I'd expect them to bring lots of data to back up their assertions - rather like a drug rep brings a power point presentation and takes you over their research when trying to persuade you to prescribe their branded whatever. I also think this is different because drug reps advertise to

scientifically literate people, whereas a doctor on a youtube channel is potentially advertising to anyone, including patients. I think there are also ways you can potentially do this without being unethical. For example, I follow a dermatologist. They do have a social media presence that educates patients on simple conditions. They both discuss products that don't deliver (based on research and experience) and products that make a bigger difference (again according to research, or example like retinols for acne). When asked about specific brands, they might describe some brands that they personally use and they tend to give a range of commonly found examples rather than suggesting that any one brand is the 'right' treatment. They discuss lots of different treatments and AFAIK they aren't sponsored by brands or otherwise receiving freebies from them or making money off them, but if they were I would 100% expect them to make that clear. I don't hate what they do, but I can see ways in which a doctor could go wrong - for example if they didn't declare sponsorships. I also think that over the counter dermatological treatments and cosmetics fall under different licensing than medications, which can blur the lines. In the UK we don't have any advertisement of prescription drugs on TV or in our papers etc. So for me it's wild to imagine that in places like the US people are being bombarded with "ask your doctor if flurgibibbin is right for you!" when most drugs are only useful in relatively specific circumstances - and the right drug for the patient may not be the one that advertises the hardest. To sum up: 1. I'd hope that they don't advertise medical equipment or drugs. 2. If they do, I would want them to make clear the extent of their sponsorship/funding and back it up with data. 3. I'd also want it to follow the laws of that land regarding advertising for those kinds of services. 4. This is in general a bit of a grey area which makes me personally feel uncomfortable and personally I wouldn't accept money from a company to advertise it unless i was 100% going to rave about how great their products were anyway. Even then, I'm not sure I could do it. 5. there are a lot of ways for this to go wrong, and it's a potential ethical minefield.

6. so is social media in general TBH.

7. I believe we need to modernise how we present ourselves on social media because the public need to appreciate that we are people and not bots putting ou the blandest content ever.

#advertising #social media

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bisluthq · 3 years

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But Kaydom was also toxic. And like I just want a good and chill fun lane, which is what so many of us are trying to do and build now. // as an ex hard kay, this is really just what I wanted all along. in the main swiftie fandom, there was so much homophobia and also a lot of racism too (at least back when I was in it). and so I never felt comfortable there at all.

and on TTB's blog and other similar kaylor blogs, I never really felt free to express my own thoughts because anybody with a differing opinion would get shut down. you couldn't voice a theory that didn't fit their version of Kaylor Canon without being dismissed or sometimes even made fun of. and a lot of them tended to get rude or even mean if you disagreed with them

I also hated the way that marginalized fans were treated by most of those main blogs too, it was extremely frustrating

empsmd was always really nice and open-minded and so were a few other "big" blogs, so it wasn't every single one of them who was like that. but even on those blogs, the toxic kinds of kaylors still followed and so you still had to be careful what you said

I felt like leaving the fandom, I was done with it all, I didn't feel comfortable anywhere. it just wasn't fun anymore. and I know it wasn't just me, a lot of other people felt the same way

but I'm really glad that I found blogs like @swiftgron-get-married and your blog and others like @kaylorrehabcenter and @kaylortruther and @kaylorhistorian. I also really like @karliesbuzzcut bc she's really funny without being mean-spirited and is still open to people with different opinions to her. there are a few others I like too but I can't name them all lol

it's really nice and refreshing to just be able to send in asks and not feel as judged as I did before or like I'm being looked down on or like certain blogs are trying to bully me into either shutting up or agreeing with them, you know?

and I'm glad this side of the fandom actually seems to be more accepting towards minority groups in general

I know this is super long and kinda sappy but yeah, I just wanted to say I really appreciate all of y'all and for the first time in almost a year, I'm actually enjoying being in the fandom again. so thanks guys ❤️

This was so so nice! Thanks for taking the time to write it up babe.

At the end of the day, fandom is meant to be about clowning and having fun. It’s not about being “right” tbh. The moment it starts being about that - about proving something “for a fact” and when self-awareness of the clownery gets lost - is the moment things get toxic and weird.

Like again idk I guess like I say my first fandom was Harry Potter. We clowned on ALL the books and guessed what was coming. 85% was wrong. It didn’t matter, we were just having fun.

I hear someone shouting - but these are real people!!! And sure. But like... they’re also brands and market themselves for public consumption. I’m quite hectic to not talk too much about private characters beyond mentioning their existence because that’s not fair. But Tay markets her relationships, and us gossiping about them whether real or fake or rumored or confirmed is fundamentally chilled. The issue is when we think we know better than her or get like... angry at her for not being our headcanon version.

Also I make a huge effort to be inclusive of all minorities and I know the blogs you mentioned do too. I have limitations and I can fuck up and if I do please tell me so I can course correct. It’s really important to me for this to be a safe, welcoming space for everyone. That doesn’t mean we won’t talk about icky subjects sometimes but we do not endorse those opinions/standpoints/ideologies.

So thank you again for taking the time to write this up. I love y’all so much.

#nat talks swiftdom

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agaybird · 3 years

Text

big tw: transphobia, terfs, violence, and assault.

tumblr wont let me reply, so let me make one (or many) things clear:

all of you who left replies such as this on my post are so fucking ignorant. so i wanna bring up a couple of things.

1. you are watering down the meaning of rape.

you say this is "rape by deception" but if you can't tell the difference in the genitals, what is the difference? you surely can't tell the difference if you say you are being "deceived". you not sleeping with them at that point simply means you're transphobic for no reason.

this isn't at all comparable to men taking off their condoms (aka "stealthing") before finishing. see, that is a form of sexual assault. it also isn't equivalent to someone having an STD and not telling their potential partners: being trans isn't contagious nor inherently dangerous, despite the talk of trans panic that you all clearly believe.

if the people are, say, just hooking up, neither are drunk, and there is consent from both parties... then how is it rape? the answer: it isn't. they literally both consented. also see above paragraph.

2. you are attempting to label all trans people as predators for not outing themselves immediately.

most, if not all, of the trans people in these situations are stealth. this means that they can't out themselves for their own safety. it also means they pass as cis. trans people outing themselves has consistently lead to hate crimes including injury and death; especially the trans women you keep citing as predators.

even if trans people aren't stealth, outing themselves to strangers is incredibly dangerous. trans people still deserve good things (including but not limited to sex) despite and including the fact that they are trans. Yes, sex should be fully consensual. And yes, nobody needs sex. however, if you think that trans people should just stay indoors or else risk hate being literally hate crimed while hooking up, you're crazy. you will always encounter people you don't like when hooking up. but you don't ask the included parties their political beliefs beforehand, do you?

in relationships i do believe that trans people should at least know their beliefs on trans people, not for the cis person's comfort, but for the trans person's safety.

may i also remind you all that there are trans minors, including teens and children. labelling them predators is really fucked up actually.

in fact, trans people are far more assaulted by cis people, whether that be by "corrective rape" or otherwise. this blog post states, "...TERFs trying to ban trans women from women’s bathrooms are essentially demanding that they compromise their own safety by forcing them to use men’s bathrooms, which puts them at risk of assault by transphobic men who don’t like the idea of “men wearing dresses.” This sort of violence isn’t imaginary. These assaults really do happen. (And it’s not just cis men who are the attackers; several days ago two cis women were charged with sexually assaulting a trans woman in the bathroom of a /North Carolina bar.)"

3. trans people can be bad people, but that doesn't mean all trans people are bad.

anyone can be a bad person. anyone. but you don't fault all women when one happens to become a predator or rapist: you fault that one woman. it's also not equivalent to being afraid of men, because in that case, every 1 in 4 men has either attempted or completed rape between the ages of 11 and 17 years old just in the united states, which is a significant amount: significant enough to be cautious of most men. especially considering that almost every woman i know has been assaulted by a man in some way. in comparison, almost no trans people have been reported to attack people (specifically in restrooms) in the united states. trans people, in fact, are four times more likely to be victims of violent crime, such as rape, than cis people.

the "trans people" you all love to source are, spoiler alert: not actually trans! pretending to be a gender you aren't to manipulate someone and being trans are completely different..... being trans has to do with your personal identity, and you transition for yourself. pretending to be a gender you aren't is just that: pretending. it is done to manipulate people. someone cited this article and this article about the same person. as far as i can tell, the only thing this person did was have sex with the woman with a strapon? she was under the impression it was his real penis, but it wasn't. apparently he also shamed her for not getting pregnant. and yeah, that's shitty, but it isn't rape. there was absolutely no harm done to her as far as i read in the articles, and there was both no risk of the woman getting pregnant or getting an STD. she also apparently couldn't tell the difference between a penis and a strapon... yikes. how is this rape? again, it's definitely shitty, but saying it's sexual assault is completely stretching it. this dude was a shitty person, but you all seem to cite the same shitty people in regards to your "justified" transphobia.

i trust other trans people far more than i trust cis people. you know why? i never felt in danger in the presence of a trans person because they are trans, but i have felt unsafe in the presence of cis people because they're cis. i and my loved ones have been put in danger many times because someone perceived me as trans, or i was outed. without having expressed any of my opinions. my existence is inherently political, and that makes me a target.

there is a lot more to discuss, but this is what im putting out there right now.

you seem to forget that we're actually human beings. you dehumanize us and spread lies to be "gender critical" or a "feminist", but you refuse to acknowledge all those who are caught in the crossfire, and those actual human beings you're hurting and killing. fuck yall.

im not even going to mention the amount of cis people ive been assaulted or near-assaulted by compared to trans people, because it's practically 1000:1. that's hardly an exaggeration. get your heads right.

tip jar

my trans-run shop

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