katsuki jumps, startlingly, when you rub a hand up his back.
he's leaned too far down, bent over the counter at an angle that will give him an ache he'll complain about later, and his head whips up as you come to stand beside him. an e-mail on his phone is what previously had his full attention, but now he looks at you, eyes softening as you lean into his shoulder.
he's never been a very touchy guy. even after a year into your relationship, it's most often you reaching for his hand as you walk down the street; you pressing a kiss into his cheek while watching a movie on the couch; you running a hand through his hair as his breath steadies out beside you in bed.
it's not something you really complain about. you know how he is, knew before anything developed between the two of you, and you can't say it's a deal-breaker. there's little you know about his previous relationships or if he even had any, but you have the painful-gut feeling that affection just isn't something he's used to.
you press a smile into the sleeve of his shirt and his spine relaxes under your hand, finds that awful curve again. he watches you like he's waiting for something, tracing the tender details of your face.
"love you," you say, because do and you want to voice it aloud, put it into his mind even though you know he knows. as expected, his lips flatten into a wavering little line, shy suddenly, and your teeth wet the fabric of his shirt when you smile.
all you get is a little grunt in response and he dips his chin down in a wordless nod, accepting your lovey-dovey assault. it makes him feel a little helpless, you know, but you bring up an arm to wrap around him as he turns back to his phone, ears pink.
katsuki straightens with a dull pop!, stretching his arms up and allowing you to shuffle closer, so that your head is resting on his chest. you press your ear to it and wait, eyes closed, until the heavy promise of his heartbeat echoes like a drum in your ear. it's loud, and after a moment, your own falls into sync, right where it belongs.
"'s'wrong?"
"hm?" you glance up at him, the frown on his pink face, before breathing in the clean scent of his laundry soap. your laundry soap. and then you shake your head. "nothin'. just missed you."
"been home all day."
"i know," you sigh, letting your eyes fall shut again. the sound of his phone locking clicks and you can feel the slight down-slide of his sweatpants when he pockets it. "sometimes i miss you even though you're right here."
you expect — something; another grunt or laugh through his nose, a raspy little noise that voices his confusion. things like this can be hard for him; you know how he is, knew before anything ever developed between the two of you — but you don't think it makes him any less deserving.
katsuki steps back from you a little, and you feel the hesitant rise of his arm before you feel it. his hand comes up to your face — pink and scarred in your peripheral vision — and he tilts your head up, waits until you open your eyes.
when you do, it looks as if a million things are running through his head. his poker-face is good, it has to be, but you can see little bits of his vulnerability shining through. you wonder how long it's been since he showed it to anybody. he almost looks sad.
katsuki squeezes your cheeks until your lips pucker, and his frown deepens when you laugh. "y're so...damn weird."
that's along the lines of what you were anticipating: one of his teasing little insults, warm with a fire he's still learning how to kindle. you don't get the chance to say anything before he's kissing you, eyes shut tight, lashes brushing against your own.
you expect something soft, because affection is a fickle thing, from him — but his hand never falls from your face and his tongue is sliding with yours suddenly, a heated gesture that throws your heart out of whack. you let him kiss you as deeply as he can, until your back arches painfully backward over the counter as he leans into you.
when he pulls away, his lips are a little swollen and his cheeks are burning, as he presses one into yours. "i—jus'—" katsuki tries and then abandons it, a hand curling into the material of your shirt. "i get it." he murmurs, there, into the heated skin of your face, heart beating in time with yours.
things like this are hard with him — but he makes them so, so worth it.
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i keep thinking about how olive green's whole murder plan is also a kind of test.
because she didn't know her fiance was murdered. she didn't really consider the possibility of murder until she heard soseki talking about his gas leak. perhaps she suspected something beforehand- "i'm going to buy strychnine" is a pretty big jump to make from "my fiance died in an accident"- but if she hadn't overheard soseki, she probably would have accepted the explanation that duncan's death was an accident, and left it at that.
she wasn't sure. she was setting up a plan to murder a man and she still wasn't sure if duncan's death was an accident or not.
like, she sends the letter to william shamspeare, but the letter specifically says, "i have information regarding duncan ross's death." if shamspeare hadn't been involved, he might not have heeded the letter- he might have brought it to the police, or the landlord, or just ignored it. he might not have left his apartment at all.
he does, though. and when she goes to briar road, his flat is empty. but that's not confirmation- maybe he was scared he'd be hurt if he didn't follow the instructions, or maybe he didn't know what else to do. she doesn't know for sure.
so she executes a murder plan that will only kill him if she's right.
she wanted the truth. but she wanted revenge, too, for her and for duncan, and the two are inextricably linked- the crime committed against her, and the crime she committed in order to know what had happened. she set it up so that her revenge would give her the truth- if shamspeare died, then she knew she was right.
but then she fails. she loses both: shamspeare survives, and she now knows the truth but she's made it unusable. she can't come forward with the knowledge that her fiance was killed, because the only way she can prove she knows that is to admit to her own attempted murder- and who will believe her then?
(and she and duncan are poor. she's not wealthy enough for the police to care- what are the chances that they would have discovered her murder, thrown her in prison, and stopped there? her murder was a lot more clear-cut than shamspeare's, so it's likely that her crime would be discovered first, and no one is going to bother investigating the claims of a poor woman already arrested for murder.)
we've seen people commit murder in the name of vengeance before. ashley graydon does it in 1-5, and we'll see it again with enoch drebber in 2-3. but i think olive green is the first person we see to tie truth and vengeance together- to make "getting revenge for the loss of a loved one" and "finding the truth behind the loss of her loved one" one and the same. and it backfires on her, in the end- but it was the only way she could see forward, to actually find closure for what she'd lost.
(hey, kazuma. remind you of anyone?)
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