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#you could read this as friendship but i wrote this as ship
astronomoney · 5 days
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bookends, bestfriends, deadends
Pairing + WC: Jason Grace x reader, 1.6k Warnings: slow burn, once again and as always with my love Jason this is NOT canon-compliant, Jason may be a tiny bit ooc but I tired Summary: In the months between saving Hera and setting sail for New Rome, Jason finds himself making a friend Authors note: ok, y’all, here’s the deal; I took a nap and woke up with an idea, so I started writing; then I realized I needed set up, so I wrote this. Now I have a full fic that doesn’t include my original idea, so I will have to make pt: 2, but at least it’s already almost all the way written
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Camp was far too busy this year; even for the off-season, it felt like there were campers everywhere. With all the bustle, it was hard to find a moment of peace. That’s why you’d taken to the woods that day. Following the path you’d walked a million times to a little outcrop of ruins not far from the beach, deep enough to not be disturbed. You’d taken a thick blanket and draped it over a vaguely couch-shaped block of stone ages ago to use as a reading nook. It was calm and peaceful and empty, usually.
This time, when you got close enough to see your little piece of peace, there was already someone there. A blonde boy with a scar on his lip sitting on your faux couch and squinting at the book in his hand. Jason Grace. Of course, you knew who he was, everyone knew of him and Piper and Leo, all working to get ready for the next great prophecy. 
Sneaking up on a former Roman soldier didn’t seem like the best plan, so you’d spoken out. “Guess this place isn’t so secret after all,” geez, what an opener.
Jason looked up with a start and got to his feet before you could say anything else. “Hi, hey, sorry, is this your spot? I wasn’t sure who’s it was, so I stayed to read some. I can go.” 
“Oh no, please, you don’t have to,” you were quick to put up your hands and stop him from leaving. You two hadn’t necessarily talked before, but he had always seemed nice at meals and campfires, if not a little awkward. “You were here first. I can leave if you want to be alone.”
Jason paused, it seemed he was actually taking you in now, noticing the book in your hand, Don Quixote as opposed to the copy of War and Peace he held. “I don’t mind company,” he offered you a small nervous smile, it was so pure you had to just stare at it for a second before responding. 
“Neither would I,” you finally said, returning the smile. You walked over and sat down tucking your legs under you and leaving plenty of room for Jason to sit on the other side. 
He joined and read next to you for what felt like both hours and minutes. Two days later, you had beaten him there, so when he arrived, you smiled and scooted to the left, giving him room again on your right. Over the next month, you crossed paths at the ruins what must have been a dozen times. There was never much conversation; it was more of a silent agreement to enjoy each other’s company, and each day, the distance between your shoulders seemed to get ever so slightly smaller. 
After a while, you got comfortable being directly next to him. Your shoulders would brush each time Jason moved to turn the page, and you couldn't help but notice how warm and strong he was. Silent meetings became small discussions about your current read, which turned into talks about other books you’d recommend to each other, which eventually morphed into a solid friendship. You would invite him to eat with your cabin since he had no one else at his. He would update you on the progress of the ship and the quest, you even got to know the other campers involved. 
Over the next few months, your lives became completely intertwined. You spent most of your day with each other. You watched him train for the quest, pushing his limits in sparring sessions until he was too exhausted to do much of anything. You would drag him out to your spot in the woods on days when he’d gotten so focused he had to be forced to take a break. You’d even tried to help him get some memories back. He would eat with you, read with you, help you with whatever chores you had around camp, anything to spend more time with together. 
He was the first person you turned to when you had something to say. He was the only one who remembered which campfire songs were your favorites or which books you’d reread depending on your mood. You cared about him so deeply, and you weren’t even sure how you’d come to feel so much in so little time. You truly hadn’t realized how much you needed him around you until you thought about just how soon he’d be leaving.
Of course, he would go back to Camp Jupiter; you knew that. This was never meant to be permanent; you were sure he missed his old life, his old friends, his old home. But part of you, somewhere in the deepest, most selfish part of your heart, wanted him to stay. You wanted him to forget about Rome, and Jupiter, and the quest. You wanted him to stay here with the strawberry fields and the books and the beach and with you. You wanted him to forget his sense of duty to a place that never cared and stay with someone who would give their whole heart away just to see him be happy for a moment longer. It was a feeling that filled you with guilt every time it crossed your mind.
It had occupied your thoughts nearly the entire day when Jason came to your cabin that evening. He knocked on the door until one of your siblings answered, and they called you over, muttering something about stupid and lovesick and so annoying that you hadn’t totally caught. 
You stepped onto the porch and closed the cabin door, leaving Jason and you alone in the dim light of the setting son. He was handsome as ever, a fact that you had resolved not to dwell on; plenty of people found their closest friends to be stunningly beautiful, it wasn’t a big deal. 
In fact, it was totally normal for someone to notice exactly when their best friend had skipped their usual haircut and started letting the military style grow or how their eyes exploded with color when the sun hit them just right. And, of course, there was no deeper reason for why you would pick up on every scrape or bruise he’d gotten from training. You were just hyper-observant, never mind that it only applied to one person.
As you took him in, scanning for the weariness you so often saw and he so often dismissed, you noticed more than anything how nervous he was. “What’s up?”
“Hey, um, I just wanted to, well.” He took a deep breath and let his words spill out a mile a minute. He told you that the Argo II would be ready to fly any day now. He told you how they were going to find Percy and how the first place they were going to check was New Rome. He brought up his old life, a life he wanted to remember, a life he thought he would remember when he got back there. These were all things you’d know and that filled you with dread, but you let him talk without interrupting. His rambling soon turned to a topic you haven’t expected, it turned to you. He told you how important you were to him, how much you’d helped him adjust to life at camp, and how much he appreciated everything you’d done for him. 
As he went on and on, you felt your heart begin to pound. The way he was talking lit a spark inside your gut, and the borderline desperation in his voice made you dare to hope. The emotion in his eyes made you think maybe, just maybe, he felt the same kind of connection that you felt with him. You could tell it was going somewhere important, somewhere that made him nervous and hopefully at the exact same time.
“I guess I just realized while we were planning in the bunker,” he began to close in on his point. “How important you are to me, and I can’t imagine what it’d be like without you. You can say no of course, it’s a lot to ask of anyone but,” he took another breath. “Do you want to come with me to New Rome?”
That wasn’t exactly what you were expecting. The funny feeling in your gut shifted and morphed, flashing through disappointment for a brief moment. As Jason waited for an answer, you had to process exactly what he’d asked. Going back to New Rome meant he was going back to his old life, a fact you were all too aware of, but now, maybe you didn’t have to lose him to it. He still wanted you by his side. He still wanted you to be a part of his life.
“Yes,” you finally replied. “Yes, of course, I’ll go,” you watch the relief wash over him, his nerves visibly dispersing as one of the widest smiles you’d ever seen etched itself across his face. 
In the next moment, he wrapped his arms around you. It was a bone-crushing hug that squeezed the air from your lungs, and you wrapped your own arms around him as tightly as you could. “You have no idea how happy that makes me,” he whispered to you as you tried to stop your heart from exploding. This wasn’t how you wanted it, but at least for now, this would be enough.
≻───── ⋆✩⋆ ─────≺
There's pt1 :) part two is almost done already because I wrote most of it before I even started all this, but what I can say, the keyboard got away from me. let me know if any of y'all want to be tagged in pt2 or in my general Jason taglist.
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zenosanalytic · 2 months
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I've been thinking about how to articulate a thought I had about a possible Doylist/non-diegetic reading(EDIT: I originally wrote "Watsonian" here, which is the opposite of what I meant X| X| Brain, you Tricksome Jester *shakes entirely metaphorical fist*) of Eridan's Trollian handle, caligulasAquarium, in response to a post of @mmmmalo's, and I think I've got it.
Ok So: the popular perception of Caligula is as a "Mad Emperor". One of the points used in this depiction is his "War on the Sea", which is taken as obvsl absurd and empty and irrational(and possibly hubristic). Eridan chooses to call himself "caligulasAquarium" and he lives in a wrecked ship(a feature commonly put in aquariums)... on the surface.
So like: maybe the title is meant to be taken by the audience as ironic. Eridan's claim to an "Aquarium" is as absurd and empty and irrational as Caligula's claim to have warred upon the sea(in the common understanding of those events; as a matter of history this seems to be a Telephone distortion, from the sources I can find).
A few more points that have occurred to me since I started writing this:
Caligula "Made War on the Sea"; Eridan wants to "Make War on the Surface" by Killing All Landwellers, carrying forward the themes of inversion btwn Alternia and Earth.
Also: "Kill All Landwellers", "Kill All Humans": he's lampshading common evil-alien-overlord tropes
...Which in itself is sort of dunking on HIM, since Eridan is nobody's overlord he's just some GUY. Like: Yes, he's "Nobility" due to blood-caste, but he has no influence, no power, no RESPECT from anyone we meet, no friendships let alone alliances with other socially powerful individuals(other than Feferi, who seems to have foresworn all that to monastically care for G'lybgolyb) that he could USE to have influence; he's just a loner with his grand-dad's gun and allot of pretension.
...which you could argue furthers his parody of USian internet white-supremacists? Like: He is THEM: a gun-humping loner who only feels comfortable talking to the people he claims to hate, with no idea how unpleasant he makes himself to interact with, and even less interest in introspection or self-awareness, fetishizing past genocides as a way to claim for himself a "Glorious Past" he had nothing to do with.
As Feferi(and possibly other characters I'm forgetting) point out, Eridan's ambition to Kill All Landwellers is more than a little absurd. He's never really DONE anything to plan or prepare for it, and aside from Fef he exclusively hangs out with and befriends Landwellers, as well as LIVING ON LAND(well: a sandbar or reef). This could be taken as furthering the Caligula "War on the Sea" parallel.
Expanding on the last: Caligula, THE EMPEROR OF ROME and Grandest of Nepo-babies, was rather notably disdainful of and hostile towards the Roman nobility and inherited wealth/rank. This connects to Eridan in two ways I can think of: 1) his avoidance of other seadwellers, and 2) his philosophical hostility to landdwellers while Being, in practice, A Landweller. Basically: both Hate things about themselves shared by others.
Reinforcing #3: the choice of Caligula, a Troll-Emperor. Again: Eridan is Just Some Guy; he does not command armies, he does not command society, he can't even command Equius, who GETS OFF ON being ordered around. This is Pretension.
...which, I guess, you could connect AGAIN back to Caligula via the popular memory of him wanting to be treated "As A God", but it should be noted that 1)everyone who wrote anything about him hated the guy and was explicitly dunking on him, so we don't know how accurate these charges are, and 2)in the Roman context, while legal apotheosis was reserved for after death, imperial Divinity was already de facto given that sacrifices and prayers to the Emperor's health and success were legally mandated civic religious duties, AND 3)that classical Greeks and Romans, contra the Abrahimic societies which would later create this popular memory, considered apotheosis a real possibility for notable individuals.
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mugeesworld · 4 months
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Cuddly Chubby reader x Strawhat Crew (Platonic)
Haven't wrote something in a WHILEEEEE BABES LIKE DAMN I FEEL LIKE I HAVEN'T PAID MY CHILD SUPPORT OR SOMETHING BUT ANYWAYS WE BACK BITCHES. and I'm feeling wholesome.
Context: Reader is a chubby gal (femreader) and the Strawhat crew being as close as they are with each other show love or friendship in different ways. And for y/n the crews just really likes to cuddle with her in a comforting platonic way. So here are some head cannons that make me smile.
Includes: Luffy, Zoro, Nami, Usopp, Sanji, Robin, Chopper, Franky, Brook, And Jinbei
Not proof read
Luffy
Luffy is definitely the type of person to be very touchy and not realize or understand that some people don't like being hugged. So he will do it to anyone in his reach if he considers them a friend.
Speaking of hugs. Luffy love hugs. Especially hugging you. While you're minding your business on the ship, it doesn't surprise you anymore when you feel really long arms wrap around you.
And though you might not mind the hugs from Luffy. Sometimes he just won't let go. He'll hold on like a leech. Like a kid holding on to their parents leg so they can't walk.
At some point their was definitely a incident where he just didn't want to stop hugging you. So for however long he decided to stay wrapped around you, He was clinged to you like he was in one of those baby carriers. He had to be prided off when you start getting tired of carrying his ass around.
And all while this was happening he's just giggling. Doing this just because you give the best hugs he says.
Also when he gets really tired after running around with Usopp and chopper on the ship (not likely but hey let's go with it) he'll just walk over to where ever you're standing/sitting and lay on you. "Y/n *cough cough* I'm dying help meeeee" and he'll just lay across your legs or something till he catches his breath THEN HE'S UP AGAIN.
I think Luffy would just really dislike the feeling of being cold. So whenever it's cold and y'all are sailing bro does not leave your side at times. When winter comes around all you'll hear is "Y/n I'M COLDDDDDUHHHHH!" The crew tried giving him a bunch of blankets putting him next to fire but he would always complain about the cold unless y/n was there with him.
I feel like he would also just come into your room randomly when he's bored and just lay on you. Full starfish. Covering you completely cause he can't read a room and understand you're busy. So you might be doing something while on your bed and then the door will just open and without a word being said bros laying down. Just chillin.
Zoro
Now we all know zoro loves his naps and will do that crap anywhere. And you just can't stand to see that man rest his head on some hard ass wood floor. It's Makes you cringe. Like that shit gotta be uncomfortable... So one day he was laying next to you and you got tired of seeing that crap. And you don't say anything you just sigh and lift his head up and move your thigh/leg under him. He opens his eyes for a second surprised but he soon goes back sleep. Not saying anything, but is grateful for the pillow.
And from then on y'all never spoke about it. It was just something y'all did. Everytime he would want to take a nap and you were sitting down he would just walk over and lay his head on you. No words exchanged. But he did enjoy it. And he would never admit it but he took really good naps when laying on you. And everytime he would try to sleep on the floor he would struggle to fall asleep cause he was used to you.
And yes he could easily just grab a pillow. But nah... He chooses you.
(This one a bit sad idk how I came up with it honestly)
And this might be stretching but if he ever has a night mare or can't sleep he would come to your room. Opening the door. Looking stressed out or sweating and that's all you needed to know. All that was needed between you two was a nod. And once you did that he would enter and once again fall asleep on you. Even though he usually sleeps for a long time whenever he would sleep in your bed at night he would never be there in the morning. He would always wake up before you. Not because he didn't like you or something but because he wants to respect your space as much as possible. And also I don't think he would want the crew to find out cause they might want to talk about it. But he knows with you, that your want push it and he just enjoys having someone there.
Though one night when he seemed stressed and came in there you said "wanna talk about it? I'll listen."
After being silent for a bit he responds "This is enough. Thank you... Y/n"
And you just hum In response. Zoro might be a man of few words but you knew he needed rest and you understood him and understood he might not want to talk about it but still wants to be comforted.
I might go as far and say you're the only person on the crew that has seen zoro cry cause one night he came into your room with tears running down his face. His eyes wide. Yet his face expressionless. Coming to you cause you're the only person that knew about his nightmares. Immediately understanding he had a really bad nightmare. Saying "I'm sorry dear..." getting up from your bed and giving him a hug which he surprisingly excepted hugging you tightly back and shuttering a bit before you pat his back.
Zoro not really being a fan of physical affection like hugs but in that moment and with you he needed it and was ok with it...
"Come. Rest now" you say before sitting down on your bed again. Him not saying anything only the sound of sniffles before it goes quiet meaning he fell asleep.
Shit I'm going to hell for that one. THAT WAS SAD. THIS WAS SUPPOSED TO WHOLESOME. It just kept coming. My fingers just kept going y'all. I just had to keep adding on huh.
Nami
I just know Nami loves you. You're her best friend. If y'all share a room like her and robin do she definitely shares a bed with you and will ask you to cuddle all the time if not every single night.
I bet she called you cuddle bug at some point 😭
Or will get mad if you don't lay down with her. "Y/N HURRY UP AND COME TO BEDDD I NEED MY BEAUTY SLEEP WOMAN! Are you trying to make me have bags??! So inconsiderate!"
Will always blame her lack of sleep on you.
Ik she stingy with that blanket too. And doesn't want y'all to have separate ones but she will always still yalls "shared" blanket for herself.
Usopp
I don't know if usopp would be someone that's wants to cuddle but I think he would always hug you when y'all greet or say your goodbyes. Also just sometimes in the morning or at night when y'all just wake up/are about to rest.
I also think we would just do it when he's tired. Like he just got done fixing something with the ship and sees you. Giving you a nod before walking over and giving you a tired hug.
Or y'all will just be standing somewhere beside each other and he will throw his arm around you. Swaying a bit.
Sanji
Now it's not like it's a secret everyone on the crew likes your hugs so it's a known thing for them that you will always hug them. And sanji took that crap to his advantage.
Nami and robin never let him hug them cause of his weird ways but he knows you won't turn him down. So everytime you return back to the ship or even just walking into the kitchen for breakfast he can't help but stop whatever he's doing and running towards you with open arms. "Y/n my loveeee! Good morning!" "Y/n! My angel you're back!"
A few times even knocking you back cause he was so excited.
He would never touch you in a weird way though. And the first time he hugged you he asked to and you said he didn't have to ask that it didn't bother you. So he won't ever take that for granted. He might be a perv but he's still a gentleman.
When you return back to the boat after shopping he would always be the first to greet you. Not even waiting for you to get on the ship. He just jumps onto the ground and runs towards you. (Slowing down right before y'all hug so he doesn't hurt you) Offering to carry whatever you’re carrying then talking excitedly about what he had made for her or what he planned to make.
Chopper
Chopper is a lot like luffy. He's very grabby. Except he can't stretch so instead he will either raise his arms up to be picked up or will just climb up you like a mountain.
Sitting on your shoulders as you work. Sometimes sitting in your lap taking a nap as you work.
Chopper would also ask if he can sleep with you sometimes. He didn't really have a excuse. He just liked it. He would try his best to make one up though!
Especially during the winter. It would just be you chopper and luffy sometimes at night cause they are both cold and apparently you ar the only think that helps.
Robin
I don't think robin is big on physical contact but she still finds a sense of comfort being around. Even if it just the two of you reading beside each other, yalls shoulders touching, you resting your head on her leg as she reads to you or maybe the other way around. She enjoyed the small things.
And though they might not be a big deal or very obvious she still likes them and looks forward to yalls reading time.
Franky
Now I just know Franky likes to cuddle. Can't tell me different. Physical contact and spending time together is his love language
He loves when you ask him about something he's working on in his shop cause he will happily sit down in his rolling chair and let you sit on his lap and he explains everything.
Also Franky just really likes carrying people. He likes being helpful. So he will always offer to carry you. And if you say yes he would carry you in one arm/hand or let you sit on his shoulder.
I think he would just want to hug you like a teddy bear. Franky is a older man so if you joined the crew in your teens or as a early adult I bet he would start calling you bear, little bear, T bear. I think he would have a few silly pet name he called the crew at times.
Very fatherly vide to Franky. He gives off Major barbecue dad vibes.
Also he is mostly metal so I know he gets cold easily.
Brook
Brook would feel really awkward about hugging you are first I think. Not only cause you're a pretty girl but because well.... Their's not much for you to hug
So he might say "But I'm all bone! Yohohoh" when you offer him a hug. But you just laugh and shake your head at him. Giving him a hug which he really likes to his surprise.
He was scared that it wouldn't be the same as when he had mest on his bones but to his surprise it did for some reason. Which he found really comforting.
And though people might not like to hug him cause he's all bones he knows you will. And eventually he was the one that started hugging you instead of you hugging him.
Jinbei
Id sell my soul for jinbei to give me a hug bro. Like I just know he gives hugs like those plus size southern old women. (Iykyk) imagine him with a southern accent in like a woman voice saying "Come here baby" 😭😭😭 HELP "give me some sugar"
So let's turn the tables instead of jinbei wanting to hug you. YOU go to him. You wrap your arms around him the best you can and he tries to hug you back but he might just pat your head or put his hand on your back.
He won't turn you down. I think everyone on the crew also likes hugging him like they like hugging you. So I'm sure he is used to people jumping on him.
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letteredlettered · 3 months
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Hi Im sure you answered this already but i sadly cant find it: how did end up shipping or rather writing drarry fics?
I've actually been asked quite a few times why I ship H/D. I never answer, because it's complicated and long and I have an essay on the subject, so I'll answer the 'how' question without addressing the 'why'.
Once upon a time, the internet was becoming a thing that people used regularly. The news kept talking about how the youths of the day were "surfing the 'net" and this was going to be the new normal. As usual, I could not identify with the 'youths of the day,' even though I was one. What could possibly be of interest to me on the internet? Reading books was far better than talking to other people. Then one day in my senior year of high school it dawned on me that you could possibly talk to other people about books, something I had never done before, as I didn't know anyone but my parents and brothers who ever read for fun, and my parents and brothers did not like to read things like Jane Austen. What if there were people on the 'net who liked Jane Austen??? Seemed fake, but I gave it a try.
The first Jane Austen website I found was Republic of Pemberley, which hosted something they called "Bits of Ivory." Through the "Ramble" board on Republic of Pemberley, I found out that there were "Bits of Ivory" elsewhere. It was called fanfic and hosted on fanfic.net.
Almost all of it that I was introduced to was Harry Potter fic, as HP was the megafandom of the time, and my Sense and Sensibility friend was obsessed with Snape, mainly because of Alan Rickman. I was also obsessed with Snape, though I must say that even though I had been obsessed with Alan Rickman since 1995, I never did like his casting as Snape and still don't. Anyway, I ended up getting interested in Snape/Hermione fic, and continued to be interested on and off for over the next five years.
I should pause at this moment to say that I had been writing fanfic since the fourth grade. I didn't know it was called fic. I didn't know other people did it. It never occurred to me to share it. When I found "Bits of Ivory" it actually took me a while to process that the stories there were in a similar vein to the stories I had been writing all my life, stories based on fiction by other people. It was just so wild to me that anyone would share that stuff, as though other people would want to read the different endings that they came up with, the self-inserts and the cross-overs they came up with.
I should also take this moment to say that I didn't really have slash ships. I was aware that slash existed, and I thought it was great. Sirius/Remus was a background ship everywhere at the time, and even though I didn't really see it in canon and wasn't terribly interested in it, I thought it was a nice thing. And when I started getting into X-Men through Wolverine/Rogue, it seemed obvious to me that Professor X and Magneto had a past sexual relationship. I, in fact, had an original story that I'd started writing in eleventh grade that had similar tension between two male characters, and the idea that they were in love and unable to have sex about it explained so much. And I wrote more original stories in college that were gay.
I think my problem was that the canons I was consuming were quite straight, and while I wasn't obsessed with writing canon-compliant fics, I was (and still am, to some extent) obsessed with writing characters who were true to canon. At the time sexuality seemed some kind of immutable thing to me that was deeply a part of who a character was. Also, sex to me was very Other; it meant something really deep and serious about you that obliterated other things you were. For instance, I was frustrated with all the Frodo/Sam porn, because I felt it obliterated their beautiful friendship and made their relationship about sex and being gay rather than the deep pure bond of friendship. So I was maybe kind of homophobic and confused.
Then I fell in love with Buffy the Vampire Slayer, and while that canon has a lot of heteronormativity, it not only has a character who thought she was straight who realizes she's gay, it also has vampires who have lived for centuries and who have broken every kind of social norm that exists. It seemed silly to me to assume that Spike or Angel were straight, which is how I began shipping Spike/Angel, which is how I got absolutely obsessed with slash. It was so liberating to write porn where the power dynamic wasn't influenced by centuries of patriarchy! It was so liberating to write porn where I didn't have to think about my own anatomy or gender or position in a sexual dynamic! It was so liberating to write porn with a bunch of dicks!
Having discovered slash, I turned back to ye olde faithful fandom, which had ten billion fics about everything. I'm not sure I even tried Sirius/Remus, because I was still so uninterested in it, but now I read all the Snape slash, the majority of which seemed to be Harry/Snape. The thing is, I don't ship Harry/Snape. It can be very hot! But while the porn is fine and some of the stories are fun, these are not two people that I want to live happily ever after. I just think that the power dynamic between them, the history they have, and the personalities they are do not make me want to imagine them as a couple with a happy marriage who occasionally have the friends over for games of Quidditch and Exploding Snap. And while I like queer complicated, angsty stories, I also like a happy ending in a semi-heteronormative sense, especially for Harry Potter, who really seems to want one. So, I started looking for other Harry Potter slash.
I knew that Harry/Draco was a juggernaut pairing, but I just hated Draco Malfoy so much. I honestly could not stand him. I used to go about saying that I hated him not only as a person (like, I also hated Snape as a person; he's a dick, and he's cruel to children! But he's a great character) but as a character. I just didn't like the function he played in the narrative. I like big, dramatic rivalries and evil vs good; meanwhile, Draco Malfoy is a little worm. So I kept thinking about reading HP slash, but resisting.
Then, one day, I was sleeping on the couch, and woke up suddenly with the idea that Draco Malfoy could be reformed. He could be sorry for all the shitty things he's done! He could be really apologetic! He could be really trying to make up for his past, and Harry could find this truly beautiful, and they could have sex about it!
Surprisingly, it was hard to find fic about this. For some reason, in most of the fic, it was Harry having to earn Malfoy's approval, instead of the other way around, which I found absolutely bonkers. But I eventually found Eclipse, by Mijan, which was just what I wanted. Then I was obsessed and was reading every Harry/Draco fic I could find.
Eventually, I even read the ones in which Harry was a cad and Draco Malfoy was a perfect snowflake who never did anything wrong. And then I started finding fics that really emphasized that Draco had a very different point of view of what happened, which showed that he really had no way to understand who Harry was, or what Harry had been through. In these fics, Harry had to do some work to understand Draco, which is what really sold me on the pairing. I still want fics in which Draco has to do a lot of heavy lifting to address his past and deal with the hurt he has caused and the violence of his previously genocidal outlook, but I love it when Harry, too, has to adjust. After saving the world and losing most people he loves and protecting the innocent and doing his exhausted little best to be honest and righteous and true, Harry Potter still has to do work, again, to overcome his past and find a peaceful life. And that's what made me start writing Harry/Draco, the end.
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inksword · 8 months
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One thing I wish all communities of Worm (reddit, tumblr, the forum who must not be named, etc.) would do a bit more frequently is acknowledge Lisa's asexuality. Like, okay you can still ship her with all your favorite ladies but she could be ace about it ya know? This isn't even WoG aceness it's in the actual text of Ward from her own mouth. It's not totally unexpected just sort of a bummer that an extremely rare asexual character in a piece of media that I like gets almost uniformly cast as a lesbian without a nod to her canon sexuality.
She could still date girls! I personally think she's aro not just ace but since that wasn't explicitly mentioned she could still date girls within her canon characterization!
And before anyone throws a "Wildbow totally wrote her bi/lesbian he just doesn't know it, disregard canon statements of sexuality" like they do with Taylor:
Asexual people can have incredibly close friendships
Asexuals can make sex jokes or observations, sometimes certain jokes seem even more absurd or silly to us because we're asexual!
Asexuals can be hyper aware of how they are perceived in terms of affection
You know if Wildbow had confirmed her canon lesbianism in Ward people would cite that shit and not brush it off "because it's Ward and bad and I haven't read it" (okay some straight-dude spacebattles fanfic writers would ignore it but I don't think that's who I'm talking to here.)
IDK if I can remember every argument that people use to justify headcanoning her as lesbian but please please please just believe her own words and her own reflections on her life and feelings. Yes it's a Watsonian argument but I don't think there's a good Doylist reason to doubt her about it either.
I am not here to take away your ships just... venting a little I guess haha. Yes yes I know that technically every shippy drawing of her could technically be her being ace but when that's every shippy drawing with no acknowledgement it doesn't hit ya know? Like getting bi representation and seeing a character 99% shipped with one gender. I seriously don't want to dampen anyone's enjoyment of Tattletale or say you can't relate to her if you're not ace however!
Ughhh I totally feel like a wet blanket complaining considering I pretty much only contribute a drawing every four years to the fandom. I'll admit I don't voraciously read worm-fic so I may be totally off base and she gets acknowledged all the time in places I don't see. I guess anyone got any good explicitly ace Tattletale fics haha?
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seeing as it’s now been one year since the last chapter of slippery slopes was posted, i decided to make a big sappy post talking about what this fic has meant to me over the last two and a half years
i started writing slippery slopes after a bolt of inspiration struck me on this post. i’d tried writing my fair share of long fics prior, most of them remaining unpublished and all of them unfinished. i’m not quite sure what made me think i could write slippery slopes other than a strong desire to write the alenoah fic i wanted to read but that didn’t exist at the time. slippery slopes was the 30th fic posted in the alenoah tag, which didn’t have any finished long fics at the time. i think if you told 2021 pj that in two years there would be over 600 alenoah fics, many of them tdwt rewrites, their head would explode.
i honestly had no idea what i was jumping into when i started writing slippery slopes. looking back, i was very insecure about my writing. i’d actually forgotten about that until i was reading some posts i’d made while i was still writing it, where i wondered if i was going to be able to pull off the miscommunication plotline and the unplanned alecourtney friendship. almost every announcement of a chapter draft being completed included me saying i felt weird about it, or thought it was bad. i felt incredibly uncomfortable writing serious angst and when that started playing an important role in the fic at around chapter seven i feared that my writing was awful and other people would dislike it the way i had. i genuinely don’t think it hit me that slippery slopes was a popular fic until a few months before it became the most kudosed fic on ao3.
back then, i was able to understand why other people liked slippery slopes, but i couldn’t read it without cringing. i’m not sure when exactly the switch flipped—probably after i finally finished it and was able to distance myself from the writing process—but it became a fic that i’m incredibly proud of. i can reread it now and enjoy it without cringing in the slightest. i was able to see my writing as good, and well-crafted. i will always appreciate slippery slopes as a fic where i grew incredibly as a writer. i understand how to plan out long fics while still allowing for spontaneity. i can comfortably write angst. i feel strong in my choices for characterization and friendship even if it may seem unconventional. i have so much more confidence in my writing now, and a lot of that is thanks to you all.
other than desperately wanting an alenoah tdwt rewrite fic, a huge part of why i wrote slippery slopes was because i felt lonely in the td fandom and was hoping that this fic could connect me with more people out there. and boy oh boy it sure has. and not just the plethora of alenoah shippers—way more than i expected—but there were also people who didn’t ship alenoah, but still stayed for the story, and people who had never considered alenoah but gave my fic a chance and ended up shipping it anyway. when i didn’t believe my writing was good, there were many, many kind commenters who showed my fic love and encouraged me to keep going with it. and even now, there are commenters whose fresh excitement make me feel like all the time i spent on this fic was so, so worth it. and they all inspire me to keep writing. 
i may be a good writer, but i don’t think i can ever fully express what everyone’s support has done for me. i still struggle to wrap my mind around the fact that there are dozens of drawings of my fic that you all have made! that’s crazy! i am so, so lucky to have such wonderful readers, and i hope you all know how incredibly grateful i am. slippery slopes would not exist without you. this was a joint effort. it’s amazing to me how a spontaneously started fic for a crackship ended up changing the total drama fandom landscape the way it did. who would’ve guessed that a simple whim to write an alenoah fic could become quite the slippery slope.
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tachibubu · 1 year
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Sincerely, from your Friend.
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∆ PAIRING ; Aemond Targaryen x Lannister!Reader/OC/Self-Insert
∆ SUMMARY ; In which you, the reader, saw your best friend Aemond marry another woman while being in an unrequited love with him.
∆ WARNINGS ; angst no comfort at all, if you don’t like little dialogues then I do not suggest this fic as it only focuses on the mc’s emotions throughout the whole ordeal with few dialogues. Alys Rivers is not a bastard here in this AU, she is referred to as Alys Strong instead. OOC?
NOTE ;  Inspired by love, rosie and the other woman cover of lana del rey. I Also Made A Playlist! It’s a short read but I hope you can enjoy the music as well. If you would prefer one song as you read this fanfic I suggest High Hopes by Kodaline as the song is where it is heavily and mostly based on! I really suggest listening to the playlist or that song while you read this. 
I am kinda 50/50 with this fic. I ironically like writing it but I just wished I could’ve wrote it better! It was supposed to be based on Charles and Diana’s arguement at the TV series though I scratched it even if I have already wrote a whole draft of it. So I wish you can enjoy this read!
A friendship is supposed to last; that is what you keep telling yourself.
Aemond and you were two of the closest people in the castle. You two struggled through the difficult times together. There were a couple times when you two argued, such as when you didn't agree with how he claimed Vhagar, but these disagreements were quickly resolved because you two couldn't stand to be apart from one another.
Your family will always be a Lannister, and your father, Tyland Lannister, entered the small council when Lord Corlys left to embark on war, and he kept his seat warm by holding the position of Master of Ships. He was permitted to stay at Kingslanding with his family as part of the arrangement, and this was fulfilled. You first encountered Aemond as he observed the Godswood while absorbed in his thoughts. Although the prince indicated he was fine when you asked him if he was, you insisted on making him happy when his expression and actions stated otherwise.
It started out slowly, with him initially being offended by your advances and considering them to be a pity. However, you were quick to disagree and dubbed it "being closer to someone of your age." Though one occurrence altered it all, you noticed him wandering through the corridors and into an unoccupied region. You crept up behind them, curiosity lingering, until you heard a single whimper and noticed his shoulders gradually begin to rise. You hurried over to him without hesitating, and when you did, he finally gave in and embraced you while he sobbed uncontrollably.
He would acknowledge your presence when you appeared in his presence by nodding; as a result, there was a mutual connection; and soon, small talk about subjects that only the two of you could dance about would begin. You will never forget the way his eyes lit up and how his normally firm lips rose their corners in fits of laughter the very day he laughed at your humor. That was the day you discovered you weren't just intrigued by the prince by simply wishing to be his friend; you were also gradually falling in love with him.
You welcomed the concept—the possibility—of having the surname Targaryen. You adored the way it resonated, and you soon began to think that little oddities in his behavior were very endearing. You enjoyed how his eyes would enlarge when he was earnest, his obsession with honing his swordsmanship, and the way his face would light up every time he saw you at the library as you both discussed the contents of the book you had just begun.
You love it all, even his eccentricities and his lowest points. Though things typically come to an end, when Alys Strong came into the picture, yours did as well.
Your pleasant interactions with Aemond eventually drifted to him gushing about the new lady that came into the Keep. Though it was difficult to overlook her frequent appearances as you and Aemond sauntered around the castle, you initially didn't bat an eye at it.
She would engage in the bonding activities you had with the prince. You were initially ok with her interruptions as you observed how Aemond would go from a man who typically pays attention to what you have to say to someone who would start speaking about topics you had never even heard of before when Alys would join.
Although you felt stiff, you were relieved that Aemond and Alys didn't notice it. How could they when they were attracted to one another? You two, along with one of Alys' closest friends, were invited to the castle for a modest gathering—a tea party. The very first time you had seen Aemond flush and stammer aloud was when he sat down on the chair that Alys gave and the way her hands lingered on his shoulder. He had never done that before, not to you or to anybody else.
It was unfair; she was gorgeous, intelligent, and intrigued by peculiar things. All of the activities and interests that Aemond loved. You understood you were holding back their development for one another at that point. You then excused yourself out of self-pity.
"You haven't even sat down." Aemond became suspicious when he noticed that you were suddenly acting differently and said, "How are you fairing?"
You laughed nervously, shaking your head as you placed one hand over it. "Yes," you answered too hastily, though you will soon regret it, "I meant no. Apologies, my mind is foggy, and I'm not feeling good at all."
Alys frowned as she spoke, "Oh dear, take your time and rest."
You added, "Well, I apologize for this hasty departure, and I shall now excuse myself, my ladies, and my prince." You had never regarded them by their titles before, but as you ran out the doors, you were overcome by your feelings. You gulped for air; unaware that you hadn't been breathing for the entire meeting, you were relieved to receive a break. You hurried to your room to get ready for the rest of the day as your eyes started to swell up.
Everything persisted, and your excuses increased significantly in frequency. While you were away, Alys became progressively closer to Aemond, and your connection with him deteriorated. Your heart would soar when Aemond would visit, giving you the impression that he had chosen you, even if the way he spoke when Alys was around was different. He would tell about how he bonded with the lovely girl, and even though it was just a wish, you hoped he had done the same for you.
Then it happened.
You wished you hadn't seen the invitation letter, but that can only be accomplished by going back in time or being blind, which Aemond wouldn't approve of. But there it is, opened and intact, the contents in sight as your head pounded.
Tomorrow night, Aemond and Alys are scheduled to propose marriage, as stated in the letter of invitation.
Your personal maid was waiting for your notice while your dress, which Aemond constantly complimented, was placed on your bed. Your heart began to race as the following day approached so quickly. Even as handmaidens assisted you with your attire and makeup, you divulged yourself in your thoughts to soothe your racing heart. Someone knocked on the door just as you were beginning to forget the incident. The someone being the one you'd hoped to avoid spending the entire evening with.
His pleasant voice, filled with honesty, was expressing, "You look beautiful, Y/N," and you will miss hearing it. You chuckled, then looked back at him and peered into his eyes.
You returned, "You look handsome as well, my prince," and you accompanied him out through the door. "I wish you wouldn't call me that, though," he said, his face seeming rather somber as his eyes continued to watch your every movement.
You lifted an eyebrow, "Call you what?"
"My title," he continued, with pursed lips as he gave you a knowing look. Was your distance really that significant, or had it gotten out of hand? He continued after clearing his throat to get your attention when you didn't respond, "We have been friends for so long; we are comfortable with each other, are we not?"
Your breath hitched, and you felt your eyes fill. "Of course, Aemond." Aemond caught a glimpse of it and hugged you. You blame yourself for being too conceited, and you appreciated his embrace by clutching a little too firmly onto his garment around his back, "I'm going to miss you."
Aemond rested his palm on your cheek and brushed your tears away, ending the hug with a chuckle that seemed to be in bewilderment. His face was so close to yours that if someone had seen it, they may well have thought it was immoral. "There's no need to; nothing will change. We will see each other again just like usual."
"Oh," were you expecting too much? Perhaps you are, and perhaps you should stop. You took a quick breath, refocused, and then steadied yourself. 
"Of course," you both approached the banquet hall as you murmured with a somber smile and your hand accepting his outstretched arm.
There were too many people for you to appreciate, and your normal seat adjacent to the man you love was warm as it had already been claimed by someone else. Your gaze never left the pair, their fits of laughter after a few too many drinks, and the way they held hands when guests attended their proposal feast. Yes, you were resentful, but could you really blame yourself? Would you not be upset if the man you have loved for a very long time chose someone else instead of you?
The feast was lavish, with many tables set across from each other to precisely frame the couple. There were several chandeliers lit up especially for the event. You chuckled as you recalled asking Aemond when you were younger how it was done and his only response being that the stars did it. The guests who crowded the room were happy, which indicated that it was warm, but your side of it remained frigid.
Truth be told, your parents only recently decided to focus on your personal engagement a mere few weeks ago, and Cregan Stark, the young Lord of House Winterfell, offered his hand to you. Your parents have put a stop to all endeavors for all these years as they have witnessed your friendship with the prince, perhaps expecting that you two would soon find comfort in one another. How stupid you were, and now that you're old enough, the letters have become fewer and farther between, but you still hold out hope that you and Aemond will mend fences and become much more. A stupid idea, really.
Even though you were present, most of the speakers and toast-raisers were people you had never met before or who made fun of your relationship with Aemond. Although this gave you time to ponder, a true friend would congratulate your friend on their engagement. Although you weren't very adept at expressing your emotions, with the help of ail, it allowed you to become the kind of good friend you would imagine yourself to be. With your glass rising and a smile on your face, you sprang up and turned to face the engaged pair.
"I also," you cleared your throat while your hand trembled at the amount of attention you had gathered by your sudden outburst. Aemond gave a comforting nod at you, you almost laughed at yourself, even at this moment of time he is always so worried and supportive of you, "want to raise a toast."
You could hear the cheers of people, beckoning you to continue. "I would like to thank the Gods for how they introduced both of this loving couple to one another," you gazed at Alys with a warm heart; although with a tinge of envy, you couldn't help but see her blooming with beauty at the current moment.
You could hear the cheers of people, beckoning you to continue. "I would like to thank the Gods for how they introduced both of this loving couple to one another," you gazed at Alys with a warm heart; although with a tinge of envy, you couldn't help but see her blooming with beauty at the current moment.
"When Alys was first introduced, I knew instantly that Aemond would love her truly," Alys chuckled, placing her head on Aemond's shoulder while she smiled warmly at you.
Your smile fell, though your composure didn't, as you continued, your gaze hardening, "Choosing the one that you want to share your entire life with is a gift, something some of us will never get to experience."
"Your friendship and love have brought many things; some would say they can even see colors when both of you unite. Something I wish I could've seen as well, though the gods play a different game," A couple of people laughed as you joined their fits though yours were grave.
"They demonstrated to us that even if you don't view something as others may, you can still perceive it that way." You shifted your eyes on Aemond as you noticed him getting tense on his seat while you gnawed your lip in fear. If he wasn't conscious of your feelings at the time, perhaps he is now.
"Because I know I love you, no matter where you are, what you were doing, or whoever you loved. I will always be there, loving you as much as I can." The room fell still as low, astonished whispers from a few people emerged.
Aemond's jaw opened and his eyes widened as his hold on Alys loosened. It appeared as though he was about to say something but restrained himself. Alys' attention flickered between you two, from confusion to acknowledgement, but you guessed it just as such because you were too exhausted to really absorb anything before realizing how awkward the environment had become.
"As a friend," you laughed uncomfortably, correcting yourself. Your other hand, which was concealed below the table, would scratch its own skin with its overgrown nails; you know it would bleed, but the embarrassment is far more frightening than a simple blood spill. Alys appeared comforted as you turned back to glance at Aemond, who was left to his own thoughts while his gaze was still focused on you.
You continued, however your nerves were still there, "Though I am not alone now, and I am grateful that she provides you with things I couldn't provide."
"So let us raise our cups once more to my favorite friends." You raised your cup higher and placed a beaming smile on your face, saying, "Congratulations on your betrothal; may your marriage flourish and never end."
"Sincerly, from your friend."
While the audience applauded in unison and some even screamed accolades at you after your speech, it didn't help that after you sat in your seat, you felt yourself continue to merge with it as your eyes began to wet a little. Though it didn't stop there, Alys stood up, raising her own cup with a beautiful smile and saying, "Thank you, my dear friend. I also want to raise a toast to you about your engagement."
No, not like this. Your eyes became wide, nearly making you desire for her to cease, though she continued. Her smile widened, though it held no sincerity. "To Cregan Stark."
Aemond and you locked gaze once again. "I wish both of you a healthy engagement as well," the female added before coyly kissing her fiance's cheek. The expression he exhibited was a complex one, but you were too busy being humiliated to understand the message behind it.
Following the ceremony, there was a dance as people chatted among themselves. You could have thought it was an opportunity to introduce yourself, but instead you stood next to a pillar and listened to a woman talk to you about things you couldn't even fixate on. Only Aemond's potential current feelings toward you—possibly disgust—can impair your judgment. Even though your little encounter was swiftly over, you noticed Aemond peeking your way amongst the joyful crowd, seemingly hoping to strike up a conversation. Before turning to face you, he had excused himself from a Lord during his short conversation with the elder.
Your lips quivered as you reflected, 'No, not this way.'
You again excused yourself before Aemond could get to you. Avoiding a potential conversation between you two is the one thing you have ever been excellent at. You abandoned your glass and walked out of the overcrowded room as the lady nodded in understanding but seemed baffled. Missing the way Aemond had called out for your attention but was dismissed by your abrupt choice of action.
Your knees gave out as you attempted to stand in front of the tree, the exact godswood where you and Aemond first met, and tears began to flow from your eyes. You begged for prayers, pleading with your wounded heart to cease whatever it was doing and demanding that it carry you far from where you stood. You have suffered for too long; you have finally realized that, and you have acknowledged that the very God you were praying to is harsh and cruel. As you cradled yourself in your sobs, you yanked at the soil with rage, your forehead meeting the tip of it, as wails could be heard throughout the entire space, not caring if someone would eavesdrop.
You thought of vows that could have been ensued if you were only tough enough to conjure and confess your feelings to him, as well as the numerous ‘what ifs’ that might have followed.
Of all the people your heart has chosen to love, it chose a man who loves another. And most of all, you wept, wishing he had chosen you instead of her.
TAGS: @maymay456 ; @kalmado ; @ml0103 ; @justsumtuffstuff ; @zverea ; @parizparis
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11thsdoctress · 1 year
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“my point is...” [reader x Doctor]
Fandom: Doctor Who
Ship: 11th Doctor x Reader
Word Count: 1144 words
Summary: After countless adventures with the Doctor, and an incident that left you mildly injured, He orders you to stay at home, but you kinda disobeyed, since you had nothing to do, which leads to a surprise when you get home.
Warnings: none that I can think of
(a/n: it’s my first fanfic after literal *years* of not writing stories and I have been on multiple brainrot runs, and I thought, might as well write one for one of my favorite characters of all time, hope what i wrote isn’t too terrible, happy reading!)
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Your adventures with the Doctor were never described as “normal”, truth be told it’s far from the norm, and most of the thrilling adventures were fun, some of the time they were dangerous, but both of you and the Doctor knew that.
Being with the Doctor would also include some near-death experiences, and meeting otherworldly beings, but what you weren’t prepared for was the emotional bond with the Doctor, you thought it wouldn’t go further than a platonic friendship, but yet, here you are, slowly developing more feelings for him, caring for him, more than a friend would care. You admired the Doctor after all, but unsure of what would happen or how would he feel if or when he finds out, and afraid of the change that could happen and what would he say to you.
However, after a certain incident that happened last week, where there were claw marks on your arm, and some cuts on your neck and face, it sounded serious for a bit, but thanks to the Doctor’s medicine and supplies in the TARDIS, your wounds were almost fully healed.
You wanted to go on more adventures out there, insisting and trying to convince the Doctor that you were completely fine, and the wounds you had were not that serious at all, but He was still adamant in his decision that he told you to stay at home, without any further explanation aside from the incident last week, It was “Doctor’s orders” apparently.
This made you question if you were still needed by him, or if you were just a burden to him, after all, it was your fault for being careless while helping the Doctor, all you wanted to do was help but you got injured in the end, and there was a pang of lingering guilt by making him worry about you when he was patching you up in the infirmary. You hated this feeling every time it came into mind, but it was worse today, considering the length of action he had to do, which ended up with his decision for you to stay at home.
It’s been a couple of days since the Doctor left to go on some space adventure without you, it was unusual for him to go on adventures solo, and insisted for you to stay behind in your house.
A few minutes passed since midnight, and you were on the way back from working late, obviously kind of disobeying the Doctor’s orders but you couldn’t help it, you had nothing to do, and it’s extra cash, so why the hell not?
These thoughts wander as the night during the walk home seemed darker than usual as you were trying to get your mind off the Doctor, worried that he was going to be gone for another day, or worse, something bad had happened to him. 
Fumbling your hands in the pockets of your coat, looking for the keys to your house, as you were a minute away from the front door, there was a certain feeling in your gut that something was different. 
You stopped at the front door of your house, and saw a folded piece of paper taped on the door, a bit concerned, you grabbed the paper carefully, before looking around, making sure no one watching. Opening the paper, there were only two words written on the paper,
“Missed Me?” 
Nervously, you rush to grab the keys, and as soon as you tried to insert the keys into your door, it suddenly opened and you were pulled in and pinned against the wall by the Doctor with some mild scratches and cuts on his face, accompanied by his messy, disheveled hair.
It took you a while to calm down and catch your breath, but after you do so, your faces were inches away,
“I thought I told you to stay at home,” he says as he looks into your eyes.
“I’m a grown adult, I can take care of myself.” you retorted as you rolled your eyes
“Still, I can’t have you running around and potentially lose you when I’m not with you.” He leaned his forehead against yours as he relaxes a bit, “At least I can relax now, knowing you’re safe and sound here, with me” 
“What do you mean?” you ask, confused by his sudden sentiment and bravery, you weren’t used to him telling you that he wasn’t relaxed when you were not around.
“Look, ever since last week, I regrettably put you in harm’s way and I realized I can’t live with the fact or bear the thought of losing you because of my irresponsibility.” he explained, “And because of that, I decided to tell you to stay here, even though it hurts every single time I had to leave to venture off out there without you, and I also regret that decision.” He looks down and you could feel the pain and guilt that was in him. “I hated the fact that every time I found something or the times I wanted a second thought or someone to share ideas, I turn around and forgot that you weren’t there.”
“So what’s your point, Doctor?” you look at him and cupped his cheeks, making him look into your eyes, looking at his, there was a hint of nervousness in his mind.
“My point is..” he sighs and closes his eyes before closing the distance by placing his lips onto yours, he was gentle but there was a mix of aggression like he was waiting for this moment for a long time. After a moment of processing, you slowly kissed back, and he was continuing this kiss by going deeper and letting his hands roam from your wrists to your waist, slowly caressing and pulling you closer even more, before snaking one of his arms around your waist and the other hand holding the back of your head.
After a while, you both pulled away, both trying to catch your breaths after the moment, he looks at you again, “the question now is, are you okay with this?” he asked, wanting confirmation, “This being, You, and Me, together.” He said as he held your face.
“You should know by now Doctor, I would like this, you and me together.” You repeated his line as your hand played with his hair, making him release all the tension he had built in him.
“I love you so much.” He says as he smiled and looks at you before kissing you on your forehead, cheeks, lips, and neck.
He pulls away but still held your hand as he planted one more kiss on the top of your hand, “Shall we?” he gestures to the TARDIS that was parked in the living room. You nodded and smiled as you followed him to the next adventure, wherever and, or whenever.
(a/n: again, i hope it’s not too terrible, i wanna try writing more again, since i kinda rediscovered why i liked storytelling, but yeah, hope you enjoyed this read!)
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evilkaeya · 6 months
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Why do people downplay Chuuyas role in Dazais life so much and why do they mischaracterize him a lot?
They also make it seem like Chuuya is nothing without Dazai as if he doesn't have his own set of colleagues and friends that have nothing to do with Dazai.
I hate those fics where they make Chuuya be extra sad and full on break down mode after Dazai leaves because that's so OC. They focus on the Oda-Dazai thing to make it seem tragic but do they forget this is Nakahara Chuuya who made a deal with the devil (Dazai/Port Mafia) just so his "friends" who stabbed him in the back could be safe?? He wouldn't blink if Dazai left cause of Oda cause he, of all people, knows the importance of friendship.
The death of his group of friends cemented his place in the Mafia while the death of Oda made Dazai leave.
ngl skk shippers who make Chuuya unnecessarily dependent on Dazai and act like he's some uwu gay sad boy make me so mad. No one mischaracterizes Chuuya more than skk shippers.
The last line you wrote is so true. I personally think Chuuya was simply mad at Dazai for leaving without a word, to hold him in such low regard that he thought Chuuya wouldn't understand why he was leaving. But maybe he was a bit sad too. Was their bond so unimportant to Dazai that instead of leaving a letter, he left a bomb? Did he not consider him a friend? Was all these years of partnership just an act? All that.
(my delulu ass also believes they actually stayed in contact after Dazai left. The dungeon reunion did not feel like a reunion.)
As for your first question, why do people mischaracterize Chuuya so much? It's because 1) you'll be surprised how many bsd stans are literal kids with undeveloped media literacy, 2) the bsd wiki page sucks. People read the light novels with their eyes closed and 3) there are weird shippers who only watch this show to fetishize the gay ships and they have the worst takes ever. You and I can't do anything about it unfortunately.
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not-goldy · 2 months
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Thank you for your answer, I get it on some level. I’ve listened to their music for a while now but am new to this whole shipping thing, and it’s a wild ride for sure. Out of interest, which songs do people think are about JM? Apart from their actual song Friends? Why does part of me think that if this is the case maybe Tae needs new inspiration for his work or something. Someone of his own to love. He didn’t write he album though did he? It’s a crazy world out there I guess I didn’t release that a member would fuel the shipping wars, so wow if he does that.
It depends on how delusional one is. Could be a few or all of them if you're deranged 🤷🏾
I like to think of myself as moderately delusional so I stick to the basics.
You can check out his song about writing a letter to the moon which was inspired by a time he was alone in the park with Jimin late into the night
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From 4'Oclock.
Other than the setting and moon references, he actually ever did write a letter to Jimin which he cried while reading it to him. He poured out his heart in that letter. Here, read it and cry
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And theres one song he complained he wrote with the intention of singing it withJimin but a producer thought putting Jimin on it would be gay due to the lyrics.
Don't want to talk about the others cos it may sound controversial but do have a listen for yourself. And be mindful of the Jimin "symbolisms" or at least I like to call them that.
Whenever he talks about the moon in his songs we make the connection to Jimin- its obvious now due to JMs moon tattoos but there was a time people thought that was reaching.
The moonchild is Jimin. And it's not far fetched cos V is the same person who shared fan art of Jimin with the moon tats that he's currently spotting and all. Meaning he understands the connection between JM and the moon.
This has nothing to do with his songs but he used to complain a lot about a certain member gatekeeping Jimin to himself and not allowing him and Jimin to hang out. So for me when this theme recurrs in his music I feel he's alluding to Jimin cos why not dudes a menace🤣
Let's give Tae some credit. Don't blindly buy into the hateful rhetorics people spew about him.
He exposed the company for dragging their feet before allowing JM to debut. Exposed them for their homophobia towards Jimin. If anyone moves funny with Jimin trust him to expose them one way or the other. I'll actually bet my life on this.
Perhaps you should look into their friendship. V can be chaotic but he's loved Jimin so hard too and when he says he loves Jimin the most I don't think he's lying .
Jimin has a special place in his heart. Perhaps because he says Jimin was the one who showed up and out for him when his granny passed. I think he's going to be eternally grateful to JM for that.
Don't hate on Tae or Judge him based on his quirks. He's not one to fake his feelings so sometimes when he's annoyed with Jimin you can pick up on that energy. It doesn't mean he's evil. He just have bad days too.
Unfortunately the Fandom isn't as forgiving and would tear him apart for the least funny feelings towards Jimin.
They are friends.they are allowed to fight and make up. We shouldn't hold that over their heads when they "fight" argue or have a misunderstanding. Leave them room and space within their friendship to be ghetto with eachother. What matters is the bond they share the growth they experience as friends and how pure they try to be with eachother.
They are a work in progress
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mayuichi · 4 months
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“Darling, I'm home.„
Kazuha Kaedehara x Reader. Warnings: somehow angst, mention of self harm and suicide
Do not read if it makes you uncomfortable, I'll post more fics in the future without those!
Note: the few next posts will be repost and rework over the fictions i first wrote on wattpad (around a year or two ago), and i felt bad to not bring them here. but i need to rework on some first bc theyre cringe now... and i can only focus on that and not create new one since my health isnt getting any better for now
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Official art from Hoyoverse.
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It's a bright and sunny day. You're at the Kamisato Estate. You're used to come here now, especially whenever you aren't feeling too well. The scenery is so peaceful it calms even your noisy mind. And today? It's one of these days.
Unfortunately for you, Thoma is away with Ayaka, and Ayato is busy inside. You wouldn't believe the Kamisato siblings would be avalaible for you, after all, would you?
Sitting on the bench, you look up to the sky. You sigh, pulling up your sleeves. When did it all started? And why did you even started it ? Do you remember? All you know is you've done it too much by now. And it isn't the soft cuts anymore.
They're so deep. Even if it ends up healing, if you ever succeed in not opening them again, you'll always have their marks on your arms. But who can you share your burdens to?
Everyone in town loves you, yes, thanks to your business. You're nice and sweet, you wouldn't even hurt a fly. You always seem so confident and sure of yourself. No one could believe you need help.
Whenever you'd see your body, you only feel ugliness. Who wouldn't? It's decorated with scars. On your arms, legs, even on your hips.
Yes, you do have some friends. First, the Kamisato siblings. Even in the nations you already visited. You even managed to have a somehow beginning of friendship with Scaramouche.
So why can't you at least be truly happy? Why can't you be normal once again? Something within you hate to see them hanging together, getting along so well. Is it jealousy perhaps?
“Of course not. I can't be jealous over something so stupid.„ yet, why can't you believe your own words? You sigh. You know since the beginning in what you engaged yourself. She's just your boyfriend's boss. It's thank to her he can live the life he wants and be able to come back every once in a while with you.
Your eyes become teary as the doubts fill your mind. Does he love you? His life is one of sailing, so why did he returned your feelings if he can't be here?
Just this morning, your short blade grazed against your skin, making new scratches. And you just hide them under your sleeves once more. It's time for you to head home.
On your way home, you're lost in your thoughts. Doubts and self loathe fill your mind to the point you don't even notice Ayaka and Thoma coming back from their business. They had to stop you to be able to strike a conversation.
“Oh, dear... Are you alright? You seem pale...„ Ayaka reaches out to brush her fingers against your cheek, her eyes filled with worry. “Oh no.. It's alright. I just need some rest.„ you fake a faint smile.
“If you need, I'm sure my lords wouldn't mind lending you a room for tonight.„ Thoma's gaze softens. He knows that as long as you don't bother neither of them, you would be able to stay. But you dismiss his words. “I appreciate it but... He comes home today..„
You feel your heart pounding at your words. It's true. That's also one of the reason for your emotional distress. After a month, he finally comes back. And your stress couldn't be higher.
Muttering an apology, you hurry home. It isn't luxurious or too spacious, but it's alright. It's more than enough for you.
When you thought your anxiety couldn't become worst, is when it proves you were wrong. You expected him to be already home, but he isn't. You're there, alone. Walking to the calendar, you sigh. “He said he'd come back today...„
You know it's probably just the ship taking more time than what was planned. But your self destructive thoughts never take rest. The voice in your head keeps the same old speech as always. That he's with her, and he's going to leave you.
What could you do now? Beside wait, nothing could be done. Your shoulders dropping in defeat, you silently sit on the couch, staring at the floor.
Three hours passed. Three hours doing nothing more than staring around and overthinking. In the end, you believe he just left without warning you. And just as you're about to give in your despair, you hear a door, and that familiar voice.
“Darling, I'm home.„ you want to get up and jump in his arms, but your body doesn't answer your command. You're so happy he's here, and yet... Tears sting in your eyes. Why are you crying now? He's here, with you. Do you even know if it's tears of joy or not?
His footsteps creep closer, until his head peeks through the doorframe. “Are you home?„ his eyes land on you. He stares at you. Seeing your shoulders shuddering, hearing broken sobs, he's quick to come next to you.
“Love... Are you crying?„ you don't answer. How could you when your voice doesn't want to come out of your throat? He sits down next to you, carefully slipping an arm around your shoulders, his other hand resting on your thigh to caress it in a comforting gesture.
He doesn't pressure you. He knows better than to force you. So he waits until you speak by yourself. “Why... Why am I so hideous..?„ he doesn't say anything. He lets you go on hating yourself for now. He doesn't even know what to do or say exactly, but if just listening can help you, he'd do it.
You rent about everything, not even caring about anything. Your insecurities, your fears, your doubts, even your self harm. He doesn't mention any of that. It's when you finish speaking that he says one thing.
“... Can you let me treat your wounds?„ he doesn't even wait for your answer. He stands up to get some bandages and alcohol to disinfect. You wince at the slight pain, and he tells you to hang in there.
He clearly has no idea how to comfort you, so he then places down the alcohol and bandages, gently wrapping his arms around you.
“I know I sail a lot. That worries you too, but I promise you there isn't a single day I do not think of you. You know that Beidou is nothing more than a friend, and you're the only one in my eyes. I'd never trade you for anyone better, because no one can be better.„
His words make your eyes light up slightly. It's stupid, but just that makes you feel better. Knowing he looks at you so highly. You lean against him, head resting against his chest. His hand caresses your back in gentle stroke.
“As for your... self harm issues. We can work through it together. You can tell me anything, I'd never judge. Just, don't keep it for yourself. You can lean on me whenever you need.„
He chuckles as your eyes stay on him. He kisses your forehead, taking the blanket on the other side of the couch to place it over you.
“You'll get better, and I'll be here along the way for you. We're going to overcome that together. Perhaps I could make you join me for the next sailing with Beidou?„
And just this way, you stayed in his arms for the rest of the evening, and night. What a great way to finish a stressful day.
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/ᐠ - ˕ •マ Ⳋ mayuichi's property. do not copy, repost or translate without permission.
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moonlight-tmd · 18 days
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I was just reading though some of your older stuff and saw mention of a Sparkeater Bee au, though I can't find much on it. I was wondering if you had anymore thoughts for it and which ship you would go with for it. Personally I could see it leaning more ShockBee thank anything with Long Arm finding out about Bee needing extra rations in Bootcamp and helping sneak him what he needs. After he comes Long Arm Prime, he also tweaks their supplies to make sure there's extra energon in there for Bee to have without anyone raising an eyebrow at why the crew on Earth would need so much.
When the Elite Guard goes to Earth, he makes sure to go with them to he can see Bee and check in on him to make sure he's ok. And maybe if Bee ever can't hold himself back anymore and has to start eating sparks, Shockwave can add little... canisters addressed to Bee in the supply shipments. After all, no one would really notice if a few of the bots who are on the cybertronian equivalent of death row decided to "take the process into their own hands". Not like anyone would look for their missing spark, nor would there be any guilt attached to eating someone so evil. Right?
You know, I have yet to have an AU that is purely ShockBee.
This is a perfect opportunity you gave me right here, anon.
Yeah, I never wrote anything about it other that this brief mention because I found Cyberbeast AU to be more interesting. So-
Sparkeater!Bumblebee AU
-in my AU, Sparkeaters are a product of a disease of Cybertron origin. It forces the host to become cannibalistic and lose their sanity and conscious to the point of being hungry ravaging monsters. Each Sparkeater still has a resemblance to their original form as Cybertronian, but more monstrous, famished-looking and with 4 bladed tentacles coming out the back.
There is a treatment to delay the disease, but it isn't enough to stop or fight against it. Cybertron Law and Medical Code was altered to kill anyone who had the disease to prevent engangering the population Of course, there is no purges like when the disease had its "gold era" but anyone who has the disease detected will be personally hunt down by Elite Guard.
There are few who managed to stay hidden all this time, trained themselves to keep the darkness under control and eat whatever sated their hunger; be it energon, live-scrap or Sparks of those who wouldn't be missed, probably. Bumblebee was one of them. From a young age he was exposed to any barceria since he was living on the streets, but he got the disease shortly before becoming a youngling. He met another stray bot who also had the disease and that's how he learned what he will be now and how to keep it on a leash. Although unlike the rest he never taken anyone's Spark. He refused to hurt anyone like this if there was an alternative. He was a pretty good thief so he managed to stick with energon.
Then he went to boot camp, he hoped that once he will be in Elite Guard then he'll be able to get more ways to sate himself, but life had different path for him...
He met Longarm and Bulkhead, Bee was quite sceptical to the idea of being around other normal bots, he was very aware of what could happen if one got too close and he got hungry. Nonetheless, Bulkhead stuck with him and made him his friend. Longarm on the other hand, he wasn't as pressing to be his friend, the two sorta drifted together until there was friendship. Longarm noticed an odd demeanor Bee had but brushed it off because Bulkhead wasn't any more normal.
One time when they were supposed to hang out, Longarm came into Bee's private room and found the medical documents laying on his berth- he immediately knew they were forged, he himself was using forged papers. When Bee came in after taking a shower and saw Longarm browsing his important stuff he was on high alert, but Longarm seemed to believe the fake medical case and offered to help him out. Of course, Bee took it, he couldn't risk not being able to contain himself.
So Longarm/Shockwave steals significant amount of energon from the supply closet and gives it to Bee. He's not stupid, he's seen bot with similar conditions and connected the dots- he knew the risk of having an afflicted nearby but he also knew of ways to keep the disease at bay... He's grown to like the little bot and wouldn't want him to die because of it. This however didn't last too long- the officers were investigating the cadets about the stolen supplies and found them inside Bee's suite. The scout was suspended but found himself taking shelter in Bulkhead's room. So Longarm kept bringing him the extra fuel, altho this time he was being careful when stealing it.
Bulkhead got him into repair crew then while Longarm stayed to graduate. Bee was nervous to learn he was on the same ship with a medic who could uncover the danger and ruin him. He was lucky enough that Ratchet also believed the professionally forged documents and assigned him the extra rations. He thanked Primus when Ratchet didn't double check the scans he made when Bee got injured. Longarm stayed in contact with Bee, making sure he has everything he needs for his 'defect'.
When he heard about the repair crew going missing he feared Bee has done something- he didn't want this to be true... In the meantime said crew crashed on earth and Bee resorted to eating old car parts and oil from the local scrap yards. It almost tasted like a mech- not that he'd know, it just felt like it would. He... chose not to think about it and just kept himself busy while the energon supply shrank with every month.
While being on earth, Sari got to learn about Sparkeaters when she was talking some stories and stuff about the human version- vampires. She even got to hear the little rhyme that was told to sparklings sometimes so they'll listen to their parents. (this neat post i found) Bee found himself uneasy hearing what others think of them, he felt his own spark stop when he instictively commented that they can't be that bad and that they're still a mech inside. Thankfully the others didn't catch onto it and just kept wondering about Sparkeaters and if there's an actual way to either get rid of them or help them.
Then Decepticons came around. In the short interactions with Blitzwing he suspected he might also have the disease... but the longer the banters between them went Bee realized he's just a wierd cannibal and not much more.
In any other circumstances Bee would've hated it but right now he was glad Sentinel tracked down the evil bunch and found them also. Energon was once again flowing... and that wasn't the only good thing.
Longarm spend nearly all his free time searching for Bee or any signs of his whereabouts. He knew the last signal of Decepticons was send just before the encounter of the crew Bee was in so hearing that they've tracked the same signal somewhere further in the galaxy made him eager to go and check for himself- not even if his actual secret-allies are ok, just if Bee's there.
Sure enough, the autobot Blurr he's been paired up with for the mission send him a back-up signal while he was investigating something in the alley- there was Bee, being seized up by Blurr, Long didn't listened the reason for arrest, he only ran towards the mini and hugged him, He couldn't have been happier.
Bee was also very happy, he couldn't get enough of Long's company- more so when he said he's been looking for him all this time. It was very sweet...
They stayed together on earth for a while, Longarm visited often and called him all the time when Elite Guard left earth's atmoshere.
Eventually someone pointed out how much Bee and Long hang out and hinted at there being more than a friendship. Bee denied... Longarm was kind and he did everything to make sure Bee is okay, he hated to admit but he did like Longarm a lot, more than just a friend even, but he couldn't risk hurting him if he knew what he was.
He tried his best to ignore the little gestures, the lingering touches and words with deeper meaning Longarm said when he was feeling vulnerable. He tried to resist, he wasn't meant to have a good life... Yet, Longarm seemed to disagree. He went out of his way to spend as much time with Bee as possible, brought him gifts and any supplies needed without question.
When Longarm took him out on a lone drive around the city... Bee was scared, he knew it shouldn't happen. But when Longarm had them sit on a meadow by the lake and started speaking about how much he cares about Bee, he couldn't muster all the strength he had to turn him away. Bee kept avoiding the question and bringing up all the reasons he couldn't date him- mostly his 'defect'. He froze when Longarm admitted to knowing what he was, he almost couldn't believe when he said he loves him and he'll do anything to help him. And he meant anything.
Bee gave up, there was no point in denying it any longer. Bound to break or not, Bee was gonna be happy for as long as he could with Longarm. So were the others when they found out about the new-formed couple.
For the relationship itself; Both Longarm and Bee know they can't truly be together- sparkbonding or even interfacing is a high risk of contracting the disease. They still find other means to make it work.
I don't think Bee would be so desperate to eat Sparks at any point as long as he has enough energon... but i suppose after the space barnacles incident before the crew was found he wasn't doing good and was forced to stuff himself with as much scrap as possible to shut the internal dread and hunger. The incident after Sari accidentally blasted and nearly killed him left a huge pit in his tank that he couldn't bring to satisfaction... He never had such bad injuries that would require so much sustenance to ease. At that point he couldn't let Longarm near- but Longarm promised, and promises are to be kept.~ The next time he visited he brought a package for Bee to open in private. They both sat in his room, doors and windows locked tight, curtains pulled. Inside was a medical transportation jar with a still-live Spark. At first Bee was scared of what Longarm has done, Longarm explained he gotten it from the "death row criminals" and Bee didn't have to worry... Which he couldn't really do at this point, the hunger rose with each second he stared at the unprotected Spark...
Those who learned to control the disease could make it hasten on command, allowing them to utilize the Sparkeater form(or certain features) while still being themselves. Getting back to normal was a bit more challanging than turning tho... Normally when Bee had to go wild he'd stuff his tank with any vehicle he found on the way until he was good... Now that he was lavished with a Spark containing so much energy and minerals to satisfy him, it was no trouble keeping it down. He almost regretted not doing this sooner. After that the hunger was not an issue- the Spark took a good while to fully digest in his tank... The biggest issue in that time was avoiding Ratchet and his scanner. He was relieved when he felt the other Spark finally give out in him and Ratchet forced him to go take the overdue system scan.
Geez that is long. I blame you for making me wanna write about it more now. Thank you for the ask.
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areyougonnabe · 1 year
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Explain the Scott/Shackleton/Wilson drama. Be as detailed as you’d like.
omfg. okay. well. here we go, it will be very long, but if you want even more detail, please check out the book i sourced most of this from, shackleton's forgotten expedition by beau riffenburgh!
EPISODE 1: THE DISCOVERY EXPEDITION
in 1901, ROBERT FALCON SCOTT leads the first major british expedition to the antarctic since 1839
hired onto this expedition: doctor and naturalist EDWARD "BILL" WILSON and merchant navy lieutenant ERNEST SHACKLETON
what you must know about bill wilson is that he was an absolute dreamboat and paragon who emitted some kind of insane pheromone which made every man he met debilitatingly obsessed with him. i'm not kidding
anyway shackleton and bill immediately hit it off. shackles would wake bill up when there was an especially beautiful sunrise that he could paint, they would read poetry together, and when the ship wintered over, they would spent hours every day together working on the expedition newspaper, the South Polar Times - shackleton as editor/writer and wilson as artist. 
less immediately than shackles and wilson's bond, scott and wilson were also growing closer. in the middle of winter, wilson wrote to his wife that "although Shackleton is still my best friend, the Captain and I understand one another better than anyone else on the ship, I think."
DUN DUN DUNNNNNNN
EPISODE 2: THE SOUTHERN JOURNEY
scott asked wilson if he would go with him on the planned sledge journey to reach the south pole. wilson is like omg :3333 yeah sure but we probably need three people. scott chose shackleton as their third, knowing that's who wilson also would have picked—because of wilson's friendship with him, but also because shackleton Really Really wanted to go. 
so! off they go!!!!!! they have dogs who they don't know how to drive and skis that they don't know how to use and not nearly enough rations which aren't nearly nutritious enough. lmao. this is gonna go great 
besties it does not go great. 
by the time the support party turned back and the trio continued on, they had become exhausted, impatient, and hungry. 
scott and shackleton began to grate against each other, the differences in their personalities coming to the fore: shackleton romantic and improvisatory, scott practical and deliberate. they came from vastly different worlds: shackleton from the merchant navy and scott from the royal navy, and had very different approaches to discipline and leadership.
at some point around then, an Incident occurred. what that Incident was is not clear: reports differ, but it's likely that a verbal argument was had, insults were thrown, and honor was wounded. 
despite that, the march had to continue. but things became even more difficult as the men began to show signs of physical deterioration. most importantly, shackleton was beginning to be undoubtedly affected by scurvy. 
they turned for home at 82º17'S, which was a furthest south record but still a disappointment to the men. 
trying to get back home before the winter weather arrived was A Bad Time. shackleton was getting worse, both scott and wilson were affected too, but shackleton was by far the weakest of the three, possibly not just due to scurvy but also pain and shortness of breath from the heart condition that would eventually kill him 20 years later. 
contrary to popular opinion he was not "pulled on the sledge all the way home" - he usually staggered along beside it, behind it, or pathfinding out in front of it while the other two men hauled. 
but, while shackleton was out of hearing, wilson and scott were able to talk between themselves. according to some interpretations, this is when they formed the bond of friendship that would last until their deaths. 
by the time they reached the final depot, shackleton seemed to have improved, but a blizzard hit and he worsened again. at one point wilson didn't think he would last the night: but he pulled through, recovering to the point that he could lead the way again as they made the final dash for the ship. 
anyway. after they get back. despite the fact that [lpoe shackles voice] THEY ALL HAD SCURVY, scott pulls an utter asshole power move and forcibly invalids shackleton home on the relief ship. he basically is like you can't sit with us. 
shackleton was nearly recovered! scott was doing worse than him at this point (1month after they got back) AND YET. reportedly scott said that "if he does not go back sick he will go back in disgrace." YIKES
and it's even worse if you know that scott pulled strings to get bill's poor medical record disregarded in order to get him approved for the expedition!!!!!!!!!
EPISODE 3: THE BREAKUP
ok this is probably the most complicated part so i will have to simplify it a bit. 
but basically after the indignity of getting yeeted from the discovery expedition, shackles made it his goal to lead his own expedition and get to the south pole without scott. 
as he began planning the expedition, it became clear that scott was ALSO planning another expedition south, to finish what he'd started.
the clash was immediate and also incredibly stupid. essentially, scott wanted shackleton to pinky promise that under no circumstances would his independent expedition make any use of McMurdo Sound, the Great Barrier, or any of the land previously explored and charted during the Discovery expedition, because scott perceived it as "his domain." 
and shackleton knew this was stupid so he was like "i mean lol maybe w/e" but scott could not abide by the idea that shackleton was trying to scoop him out of his rightful claim to the pole as some sort of revenge for invaliding him home. 
in order to make scott see sense, shackles passed along his response first to bill wilson. but this was a mistake, because bill was firmly on scott's side. he told shackleton that he'd better do as scott says and stay out of mcmurdo sound. and shackleton was like............ ok i'll just go a little bit to the east then. 
and bill was like THATS NOT GOOD ENOUGH :))) and he and scott together were pushing for shackleton to give up rights to the entire "Ross Quarter" of antarctica. by this point bill had agreed to go south with scott on his planned expedition, but was still playing the mediator between him and shackles. 
anyway, together scott and wilson basically bullied shackleton into signing an agreement saying he would not go to the places that scott did not want him to go Unless He Absolutely Had To.
but guess what lol
he absolutely had to :))))
due to ice conditions, the Nimrod Expedition was forced to set up shop on Cape Evans, on Ross Island just a few miles north of where Discovery had wintered. 
and it's not that shackles was happy about this: he felt he was going back on his word. he wrote that "I felt each mile that I went to the west was a horror to me." 
EPISODE 4: AFTERMATH
despite shackleton having truly done his best to abide by his agreement with scott and wilson, the fact that he did end up reaching a new Furthest South—a mere 97 miles from the pole—from the region in which scott considered "his" was the final straw.
wilson and shackleton met when he returned and it seemed that their bond, so strong and close in the early days of the discovery expedition, had been sundered forever.
ok i have to post this whole quote bc its insane
"I wish to God you had done any mortal thing in the whole world rather than break the promise you had made... My opinion as you know was that you ought to have thrown up the whole show, that, you said was out of the question. But why in the name of fortune did you promise to do the second best thing, & then do the very worst!"
DUDE WTF??????
and then wilson goes on to write that he has "broken with [Shackleton] completely" and that he considers shackleton a "regular wrong'un" with "limited and rather low down ambitions" :///
meanwhile shackleton and scott had to go on being cordial to each other in public but definitely were known to dislike each other, coming to further minor blows about another planned shackleton expedition (which ended up being the Mawson expedition) 
and during the terra nova expedition scott, wilson, and the rest of the polar party followed shackleton's precise route across the barrier, up the beardmore glacier and the polar plateau towards the pole. scott obsessively compared shackleton's dates and distances to his own on the way south, determined to beat him and achieve those final 97 miles. 
which he did.
and then in March 1912 scott and wilson literally Die In Each Other's Arms. 
and shackleton was like . well what WAS shackleton like. GREAT QUESTION. WE DON'T KNOW :) bc he didn't talk about it. literally not a word!!!
IN CONCLUSION
scott and shackleton are sometimes depicted as straightforwardly rivals, which is sort of true, but the truth of the trio situation with bill at the heart of it all makes it so much more complicated and fascinating!!!!!! LONG LIVE THE TOXIC POLYCULE
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dragonfly0808 · 4 months
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S1 ch8
To this day one of my fave chapter titles and one of my fave chapters overall, I was so excited to write a whole chapter from the boys’ POV and I tried very hard to really get across their personalities and how they each think of their squad, I remember I spent like a week planning the chapter and then another week writing and editing just to make it perfect, and I’m still very proud of this chapter.
First: Sky being so proud of his team and of himself for getting jobs not due to his royal status but due to their hard work.
First mention of Shirley, though no name drop. And, in case yall didn’t know in this chapter Riven makes mention of Cloud Tower inscriptions -“Have you started preparing the papers and the essay?” Another pause, “I know it’s still a long time for the due date but it’s best to start preparing now.” Another longer pause and Riven sighed heavily, “Just listen to me for once please. Start checking everything. - cause originally Shirley was older and was gonna start Cloud Tower in s2 instead of s3 but then I made a very soft reboot of her age (cause I realized I wanted her to be close in age to Roxy so she could be part of that squad) so that’s a little fun fact right there.
THE BOYS DON’T EVEN REALLY KNOW EACH OTHER YET, THEY’RE JUST STARTING TO LEARN ABOUT THE OTHER AAAAHHHHH
This makes me very emotional, again, them just starting their friendship, what do you mean I once wrote them before they were bonded for life and brothers?
Tiny Brandon POV, mostly to show that his main trait is being a protector cause it’s Brandon duh.
Riven taking charge of the situation! Being instinctually protective and trying to distract the everyone so they won’t be scared. 
Idk why I wrote Flora a lot more… she’s bowing and shit? I think that was gonna be a Healer thing from Lynphea but then I forgot and never brought it up again
Tecna being exhausted from keeping the Owl from sinking for a minute… ugggh they really had a power crawl didn’t they?
Damn, the days when the girls were inexperienced and the boys were justified in trying to keep them away from the action… so much has changed
Timmy’s POV, trying to fix the walkie talkie and everytime he gets a clear voice someone just snatches it away ajajajajajajjjajaa
All of them panicking and fighting, they’re still learning how to be a team! -Soon all four of them were yelling, all sense of compatriot ship forgotten in the face of panic.-
“The plants were scared?” Riven’s tone became dismissive, which earned him a few angry glances from the other girls when Flora shrank into herself.
“Hey, she just kinda saved your asses so watch the tone.” Musa was quick to retort, stepping in front of Flora.
“It’s fine Musa-”
“No it’s not. Now, are you gonna keep being idiots and insist that you don’t need anyone, or are you going to let us help you so we can find the troll and get this over with?” Musa didn’t wait for an answer, whipping around and taking the lead, dragging Flora with her.
Musa’s ride-or-die ass showing itself for the first time. And Flora used to be so quick to back down it makes me want to cry!!!!
Tecna awkwardly hovering around Timmy, trying to help him fix the walkie but not knowing how to engage in conversation, the start of their dynamic, I’m dying.
And finally, a longer Brandon POV to show his connection with Stella and we see Stella’s first instinct is to take care of and protect the girls. I think this is when I finally started to figure out how I wanted to write Stella.
————
It might seem weird to see me essentially fangirling over my own fic but I don’t even care I’m proud of my baby and it’s been AGES since I even read s1, I have like 3 scenes i’ve gone back to to check details but aside from that, this is like reading it for the first time to me
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beezusvreeland · 5 months
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dear reader - chapter 3
summary: Miguel took the reader’s love and friendship for granted. Something he learns reading her column, when it’s too late…Or is it?
ship: miguel o'hara x f!reader // matt murdock x reader
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Chapter 3
Two weeks passed, but it might as well be an entire lifetime. Edinburgh suited you very well. The cold early mornings that turned into very nice afternoons and ended with you making sure the heater was on for the night. You woke up at the dorms provided by the school, made yourself a nice Earl Grey tea, got ready and walked your way to class. 
You picked a different path every day, but there was no denying that walking by Victoria Street in the Grassmarket area was your favorite way to get to university. It was just so charming: bright colored walls, cobblestones and unique shops. You had even read somewhere that it was the inspiration for Diagon Alley in the Harry Potter books. There really was something magical about that city.
A couple of mornings a week, you had a writing workshop titled “The Self and Others: translating feelings into words”, which you couldn’t even believe was a real thing. There were a few familiar faces in the class, but you were drawn to Jessica Drew, the girl you met on your first day, and a younger kid who she took under her wings called Miles Morales. The three of you would always sit next to each other. It was kind of nice.
The workshop was led by professor Otto Octavious, whose passion for writing was infectious. So much so, that your peers affectionately called him “the last romantic” behind his back. 
“Today is a beautiful day to increase your word count”, the teacher joked, making the class erupt in laughter. “Usually we start the day with a discussion, but I’d like to do something a little different today.”
“Always keeping us in our toes, huh, professor?”, Miles teased.
“You know it, mr. Morales”, professor Octavious said, a smile on his face. “Most of you have been writing for a long time, so you probably have already learned about one of the biggest challenges a non fiction writer faces: most times, what happens in real life is so unbelievable, it doesn’t translate well to the page.”
The professor gets up from his chair and writes the name “Dani Shapiro” on the chalkboard. “That’s the name of one of the most prolific non fiction writers today. She has a quote about our craft that I always carry near my heart: ‘Writers are outsiders. Even when we seem like insiders, we’re outsiders. We have to be. Our noses pressed to the glass, we notice everything. We mull and interpret. We store away clues, details that may be useful to us later’.”
The room was quiet, except for professor Octavius’ voice. You could tell, even without looking to your classmates, that what he read had resonated with all of them. It was a perfect description of a sentiment you always had, but were never able to describe. You just thought there was something wrong with you. But there wasn’t. And you were not alone. 
“Let that sink in for a moment”, the teacher smiled. He knew exactly how the students felt the quote deeply. “Today I’d like for us to do something different. For the next hour, I want you to write about a detail you kept to yourself for a long time. The idea is to describe it and explore the reason you shelved it into your minds for so long. It can be about anything, as long as it is meaningful to you and that you allow yourselves to dive into your own vulnerabilities.” 
After the hour passed, you and your peers would share what you wrote with the rest and discuss it.
You opened a new document on your laptop, taking a deep breath. Obviously you had a whole storage of small details inside your head. But you felt uneasy, something you kept shoving to the side slowly creeping back to you. Or rather, someone. 
As if reading your mind, a notification appeared in the corner of your screen. A new email from no one other than Miguel O’Hara. 
Hey there, how are you? How is Scotland treating you? I hope you are drinking as many pints and visiting as many castles as you can. Congrats about the scholarship, by the way. It’s a big deal and you deserve it. I’m sorry about the whole dinner thing, I really fucked up and haven’t been a good friend to you. I’m sorry about that too. I don’t expect you to forgive me, but if you do, I promise I will do better. 
Anyways, enjoy your time there as much as possible — Hobie and Pav have been complaining that you haven’t sent them pictures so far, thought you should know. 
Miguel
PS: Do you remember my roommate from college I told you about? Peter B. He’s back in town and just the other day showed me an interview you did with Mary Jane Watson. It turned out really good. You always ask very thoughtful questions. 
And just like that, the Miguel area of your heart exploded again.
***
Dear reader,
Just the other day I was talking with my girlfriends about the romantic gestures in books, TV and movies that made us create insane expectations about love. The impromptu declarations, the running in the airport, the showing up unannounced — any decent human being knows you have to at least send the other person a text saying you are coming by. 
I have always been more drawn to the caring gestures and the acts of service. Maybe because that is my own love language. There is a scene in Say Anything… (1989) where Lloyd is walking Diane, the girl he has loved throughout high school, home after a party. They are talking and he is paying so much attention to what she has to say. All of the sudden, Lloyds stops her. There were pieces of glass in her way on the floor. He kicks them to the side and keeps walking, as if it was nothing, just the way things are supposed to be. It gets me everytime. 
I love to bring my friends coffee or even bake them food when they are having really intense weeks at work, helping them out with some errand or impossible shore. Sometimes I feel really silly about it. Especially when it comes to the guy . I know I shouldn’t, but when it comes to him, I feel insane. 
I feel insane because I always have his favorite ice cream in my freezer and the drinks he likes in the refrigerator. In my love drunk brain, these can be excuses to ask him to come up to my apartment, to have him stay more, even if it is just for a few minutes. This is not a tip, by the way. If anything, it is a warning: seeing the person you love enjoying their favorite dessert can make you lose your mind. Be aware.
Once I planned a Fast and Furious marathon. But only from the 5th movie on, when things get out of hand and the franchise becomes something else entirely. It was a way to spend a rainy sunday with snacks and drinking games. I spent saturday cleaning the apartment and buying everything the two of us would need. Imagine my face when some of our other friends showed up as well, because he had invited them. And I love all my friends, but only wanted to spend time with him.
There is also another fictional gesture that has been stuck in my head since I was a pre teen. Before the show, the Gossip Girl books were a huge deal, and I read almost all of them. Each chapter was told from a different character's perspective and Blair’s were my favorite. When she is mourning her relationship with Nate, who was in love with Serena, Blair remembers what they had gone through together. Once, wanting to impress him, she sewed a heart pin inside the sleeve of a sweater she gifted him for a special occasion. It was a way to show him that he literally had her heart under sleeve. It was such a simple and meaningful gesture. Except Nate never noticed. Not while they were together, at least. Isn’t that always the way?
Maybe we were supposed to focus some of that energy on ourselves. The hours of disappointment for the retribution that never happens won’t come back to us. 
I wish I had a more uplifting message today, but this is all I could manage. I hope you understand. 
Meet you here next week. And remember: never take advice from someone who’s falling apart.
Love, 
The writer
***
Miguel felt anxious about your lack of response to his email. He kept trying to reason it in his mind: you were probably really busy…or you were still mad at him. He was sure the fact it took him so long to write to you didn’t help. But the constant checking of his emails and all social media and waiting for a life sign from you was exhausting. Is that what addiction felt like?
Miguel tried to distract himself by taking more workloads and secretly reading your columns. It was fascinating getting to know that side of you, and he wondered why it was so new to him. You were more reserved, of course, but never failed to be there or show interest in his life. He couldn’t remember the last conversation you had that wasn’t about him and his work. It felt horrible knowing that maybe there was a lot you wanted to talk about and he never gave you space to or asked questions about you. Miguel asked himself when he had become that person, or if he had always been that way. And what he could do to make things better, because an apology didn’t seem like enough. 
He took a break from his spreadsheets to check his email inbox and social media. Nothing. So he went back to Bliss ’ archive and read another one of your older columns, the one where you wrote about romantic gestures. That last part had him so confused, he decided to ask for help. Miguel was that desperate.
“Lyla”, he called on his office phone.
“Yes, boss.”
“What is Gossip Girl?”
Lyla remained silent. Miguel was about to call the thing of, saying it was a joke, when she answered, her excited and teasing tone coming through:
“Why do you ask?”
“It’s classified.”
Lyla chuckled. She had noticed her boss had been acting weird lately, but couldn’t quite point her finger at why. 
“Is it for an Alchemax project?”, the assistant tried to keep her language professional. 
“It’s for…a personal one”, Miguel regretted everything, his eyes closed in embarrassment, even though Lyla was in another room.
“Okay…What exactly do you want to know about Gossip Girl?”
“Who are these people, Blair, Nate and Serena? What’s the story?”
She laughed. He should’ve known his assistant would have too much fun with it.
“Lyla…”, Miguel complained.
“Okay okay, sorry, boss, it’s just these are names I never thought I’d hear you say.”
“Just tell me the story.”
“It’s a big one, actually. The show has six seasons.”
“Does Blair end up with Nate?”
“Hell no”, Lyla scoffed. “She marries Chuck.”
“Who the hell is Chuck?”
“Nate’s best friend who, in his own twisted way, actually gave a shit about her.”
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araivallejo · 11 months
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I’ve only ever “shipped” characters in two programs I’ve watched. The first one was Niles and Daphne from Frasier, when I was a teen/young twenty something, and Ted and Rebecca from Ted Lasso.
These two pairings could not be more different. Niles was smitten from the start with Daphne, despite being married (!) with seemingly everyone clued in except Daphne herself for seven years (!!) until Frasier blurts it out to her. Only then does she start to view Niles as someone she might love. The Frasier writers had all the tropes on display for this one. Ah, the 90s.
Looking back now as a much older adult, I see glaring red flags in the Niles and Daphne pairing. The man was married, not once but twice, while claiming to be in lust/love with Daphne. Young me didn’t care though. I thought – romance! And when they ran off together, I was smitten. My one and only delve into fanfiction I wrote in 2000 when they both took off in the Winnebago. Oh my. With the benefit of hindsight, I wonder just how much I’d ship those two these days. Now if Frasier were to be remade the creators would have made the Niles character what he should have been all along, which is gay. The early 90s you just couldn’t do that, although the Frasier team loved to give a wink to it at times.
For Ted and Rebecca, I’ve mentioned before that I didn’t ship them in season 1 and most of season 2 at all. I thought this was simply a lovely friendship and that’s that. It was only the writers’ little bantr fakeout that clued me in on the possibility. I knew it wasn’t Ted, but it got me thinking when it was revealed to be Sam and I was disappointed it wasn’t Ted. Why was I disappointed? Then looking back at the earlier episodes and seeing all the ways they cared for one another and seemed to be clued in to each other. I thought – aha! This is the way to go about a real relationship. Show the friendship. Show the trust. Show each other at your best and your worst. It’s not a fantasy. I never minded that there were no obvious longing looks between the two because I saw all those signs the writers put into the show that kept pointing back (for me) to only one conclusion: Ted and Rebecca were meant to be together. The two obviously long for a romantic relationship and are deeply loving people. It wouldn’t be lazy writing! It would be brilliant to have it slowly evolve into a beautiful relationship built on friendship.
My only sticking point on the two getting together was the fact that at the end of the day, Rebecca was still Ted’s boss. Having grown up in the same region at the same time as Ted, I figured his midwestern values would deem that as unethical and therefore a deal breaker, no matter how deep the attraction was. I figured Ted would always choose his son and want to go back to Kansas, but I also concluded he would still need someone else in his life and not make Henry his sole reason to live. That’s too much of a burden on Henry. So if there were some way to have Ted be with Henry and Rebecca not be his boss… There have been some wonderful fics written to show how these two could still manage that feat. Both Ted and Rebecca are wealthy – with Rebecca shown to be “filthy” rich. Miss “I’ll just buy the restaurant” could make just about anything happen.
It all seems like a hell of a missed opportunity. I believe Jason was so enamored of the movie “Once” that he wanted to make his own version. That’s fine – it was his show. I just wish maybe they would have thought more about why they needed to do some of these little fakeouts. Having read some of the writers and editors’ responses this past week I have concluded that while some of this was purely accidental, the vast majority was absolutely intentional to keep the incredibly loyal and vocal fanbase (the shippers) coming back for more. They knew exactly what they were doing. I’m not naïve; I get that it is a product, and they need eyes viewing said product. But this show was a huge hit from day one when many of us didn’t give a damn about the pairing. Why go to these lengths?
What is hilarious to me is what we’ve been given instead of the well thought out relationship is the very definition of lazy writing: throwing Rebecca with some random man we’ve seen ONE TIME in the last season. We don’t even know his name. Yes, he is attractive and clearly Rebecca enjoyed being around this man. I even said after the ep aired that I wouldn’t mind it, but I was hoping there would be more buildup between the last time we saw him and now. And unlike above with Ted, boat man has not seen Rebecca at her worst, nor she his. It does not feel earned at all and that just pisses me off.
Don’t even get me started on Beard and Jane. Jesus that’s a topic for another post.
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