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cadykeus-clay · 3 years

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Would you mind sharing your thoughts about vex and Beau being cross campaign foils?

so!!!! first things first: apologies for taking weeks to answer this, finals + having adhd sometimes makes my brain turn to mush and forget every ask ive ever recieved. second of all, i’m assuming you sent me this bc of what i said in my vm vs. m9 how they view the world meta. and i’ll be real with you. i have exactly 0 memory of what was going through my head when i wrote that line, so i am simply going to type out a bunch of thoughts that i have on the similarities and differences between beau and vex and i hope that lives up to what you were expecting jsdflksjdksld

I'll detail some specifics in a moment, but overall, I think beau and vex share a very similar kind of trauma of exclusion in their formative years, that's caused them to have a lot of similar traits that manifest in different ways - for vex, she maintains control through her material posessions and beau finds an emotional control in her asshole-ness. I've broken this down into 5 points on which I think comparing the two really emphasizes that claim:

1. daddy issues: both beau and vex have awful no good terrible very bad dads. both syldor and thoreau can suck my ass. they both raised their kids with little love and impossible-to-meet expectations, alientating them and leaving them with lifelong feelings of inferiority and unbelonging. If beau and vex were to meet, i think they would have a very friendly toast to shitty dads, and then have a good drunk vent about it an hour later.

but, at the same time, the actual minutae of their trauma and the ways it manifests are nearly polar opposites. syldor wanted nothing to do with vex, or else wanted her to somehow become a full elf. her issue was that she would never be able to belong, despite her desire to, and as she grew up it lead to her being overly protective and even possessive of the people she found who DID accept her as she was.

With beau, rather than exclusion, her father created an environment of toxic inclusion. He created a role for beau to belong in, disregarding her distate for actually fulfilling it. And, as such, she ended up making herself into someone who could have no expectations and pushed away anyone who tried to set them up for her. In the end, they both came to love themselves by abandoning the woman their father wanted them to be but for vex it was the laying down of an impossible dream and for beau it was the picking up of a mantle she had feared to wear.

2. brothers: now, on the topic of family, I also think its really interesting how their interactions with their brothers play out. We've got vex and vax, tied at the hip til the very end and then some; and then we've got beau and TJ - decades apart and with beau barely acknolwedging TJ's existence. But, even that distance between beau and TJ didn't stop her caring for him when they actually met. She gave him lucky Jade, and she entertained the idea of kidnapping him to get him away from her stinko dad.

And I'd espeically like to talk about what she said outside the hag's hut - "I think Luc and TJ could be best friends", in comparison to the way Vex reacted when Vax told her was going to Zephrah with Keyleth for the year break. There's an aspect to the way they interact with their brothers that lets them slip back into those bad habits they formed growing up (NOT that i'm claiming vex and vax were like toxic for each other. but even good relationships can have unhealthy moments).

With Beau, when she offers to give her happiness so TJ can grow up safe, she's trying to take on the role she's ""supposed"" to fill - the big sister, the protector - because she failed to fill the one her father set out. And with Vex, when she grows jealous of Vax, it's because she's afraid that his leaving with keyleth is a sign that she no longer belongs in his inner circle, and she falls back on that childish, desperate desire to do anything to be accepted unconditionally.

3. romance: spoilers for 5 or so most recent m9 eps (115-120) if you haven't watched them ahead!!!! at this point, both vex and beau have an endgame romance - percy and yasha respectively. Obviously as the m9's campaign is still playing out, that could change, but like. yasha wrote her a love letter and they're officially going on a date so i'm counting that as at least endgame-track rather than just random flirting. What's interesting to me is that they both seem to flip between the SAME roles between their (in-game) general perception and their actual pursual of romance.

Vex gets characterized as a pretty big flirt, right? She's got the winks, the casual "darling". She's flashed grog her boobs on multiple instances with little prompting. Beau, similarly, has easily the most game out of anyone in the m9. She's slept with two guest characters and at least one more npc in the events of the game. Caleb made her a fuck mirror in her room in the mansion. And yet, in both of their actual romantic endeavors, they became the shy, uncertain type.

Vex only confessed her feelings when Percy was laying dead before her, and not an hour of game play before percy kissed her in the woods, she had a talk with vax about how she was pretty sure he didn't like her that way and she didn't want to pursue it. Beau, similarly, spent a very long time convinced that yasha wasn't looking for love after zuala, especially not in anyone like her, asked everyone in the party if they thought yasha ACTUALLY liked her, just to be safe, and then still terrified to ask her out after recieving a literal love letter. I'd argue this shift comes from that same sense of unbelonging - they're very good at pretending they fit a role but doubt their actual right to take it when the opportunity is presented. This time, the role is the lover rather than the daughter.

4. authority: Both vex and beau grew up shunned by the upper crust of society, and grew to mistrust those kinds of people. And yet, both of their arcs result in them assuming such a position. Vex, thrown out of high society gets her place as a baronness, and Beau, running from leadership of her father's business ends up a top member of the Cobalt Soul. There's not a lot here, but I find it interesting how both of their stories involve them shedding their baggage regarding authority and power and assuming it in a way that they feel comfortable in - invitation by someone she trusts for vex, and a promise of freedom of will and control for beau.

5. their deadliest sins: this is the point at which their similarities culminate and transform to a fundamental difference. despite everything they share - shitty childhoods, the small piece of family that's still good, flirtiness masking shy love, and a mistrust of those in power - vex and beau are such different characters because of their biggest vices. Vex, both in game and out, is "the greedy one". She's stingy with money, she haggles for everything, she mourns the loss of physical objects. Beau is "the mean one". She cares little for people's feelings if they're not in her immediate circle, she focuses on her tough guy image, she laughs at things she knows she shouldn't.

And, over the course of the campaign, as they find unconditional acceptance, they grow away from these traits (I won't say they grow out of them) because they heal from the things causing these vices to begin with. I've always been vocal about vex's greed being a manifestation of her class insecurity, and beau's asshole-ness stemming from her fear of being forced back into another position of complacency. And I stand by that now - all the similarities in their backstories are what tally up to these different women.

Despite her careful tally of party funds and her reflexive bargaining, vex is not cruel. she is not angry on her own behalf. She saves two boys from the market in the city of brass at great personal cost, she relinquishes an entire dragon's hoard to the devastated city of Westruun, she took the time to save a baby bear from a cage when she could have just cut and run after escaping her own. She's the first one most people go to when they need a shoulder to cry on, and she's devastated when they don't (thinkin about when Scanlan left). She carved "forgiveness" into the bow she stole from a man after killing him by proclaiming how much she loved someone, because she knew anger had no place in her heart.

And Beau, Beau is a bitch and she's harsh, but she doesn't hoard or protect like vex did. she spends her money without much of a second thought. She pitches in to help her friends buy a ton of glowsticks, and she loves to indulge in material desires like drink and good food and the nicer inn room. She's a member of an organization that's about making knowledge public rather than guarding it. And, though this may be controversial, I think her position with bowlgate of "its not our problem what cali wants to do with it", her long-standing mistrust of their alliance with the bright queen and and more recently with the tomb takers of "i want to go in and talk, rather than assuming they're antagonistic, even if it puts us at a disadvantage" are both examples of this non-possessiveness too - she has no need or desire to get involved in controlling what other people are doing.

so, i guess the general conclusion here is: vex struggles to let go of things, of money, of people. beau struggles to let herself be known in case she gets wrongly interpreted again. they both fight feelings of inadequacy, they both fight the feelings of not belonging, of 'doing it wrong', they fight the perception of them as shitty people because of the shells they hide in despite their absolute hearts of gold. but at the end of the day, vex's story is one of having to lay down what could never be hers so she can carry what is, and beau's story is one of allowing herself to be known so a place can be made for her.

#hope this is what you and that other anon were looking for jdsflkdsajfsaldfsa #critical role #vexahlia #beauregard #long post

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pikelanette · 4 years

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Trinket

hey friends!! been a while, I know... but hey, here’s some modern AU perc’ahlia! inspired by the prompt ‘carnival’ and kind of sad but also kind of happy (my favourite)

Pairing: perc’ahlia Words: 4580 Rated: T Link: ao3

a modern au about winning bears at carnivals

The first time Vex’ahlia saw Trinket, she let out a delighted chuckle.

Gilmore was showing them all of the prizes the kids could win at his shooting game at the annual Emon carnival. He’d pulled it all together at record speed. Apparently, his diner was going through just a tiny bit of a dip in visits, so he wanted to lure in some more families with younger kids by participating in the carnival and plastering his logo on everything he sold. He told Vex and Vax about it a couple of weeks ago and flirted with both of them until they gave in and promised that they’d help out. Vax would help out at the waffle stand and Vex was going to run the shooting game stand a few lanes over.

The game was fairly simple: customers had to hit a couple of unicorn-themed targets with a small plastic gun that shot tiny squishy balls. If they couldn’t hit any, they got a consolation prize, a discount for a waffle at Gilmore’s other stand. But if they did manage to get some hits in, there was a variety of small, cute prizes for them to pick from. And the biggest prize was a huge bear plushie.

Vex’s eyes shone brightly as she looked the bear over. When her brother saw what she was looking at, he snorted. Then he reached out and took her hand. He got it, of course.

When they were six, their mother took them to a carnival. The big prize for one of the games was a huge bear plushie just like this one. Weirdly realistic, kind of menacing, absolutely perfect for her. She’d spent a stupid amount of time trying to win it, but money was tight, and when she noticed her mom’s guilty expression every time she opened her wallet, she let it go. It didn’t stop her from walking by the stall a couple of more times, just to see the bear. She made up a story where she’d rescue him from his carnival prison and he would be her best friend. Together, they’d go an adventure. Vax too, of course. He was part of all of her adventures.

Quietly giving up on that bear was a turning point in her life. It was the moment she realised that her mom needed her help. Her mom needed her to be strong and happy with the tiniest things. Her mom needed her to stop wanting things.

Vex’ahlia never stopped wanting things.

She hadn’t thought of that bear in years. Her life had a bunch of other turning points that kind of took the spotlight away from it. Losing their mother to cancer. Moving in with their horrible father. Finally leaving his house the second she and Vax turned eighteen.

That last one got their lives onto a better track, though. Things got better after they left the Vessar family behind. It was rough at first, of course, trying to make a living, but they’d saved up money while they still lived with their father for that exact purpose, so things never got out of hand. They took any jobs they could for a while, and then they went into the food business. They opened their bakery when they were twenty-four. Thanks to Vax’s creativity and Vex’s eye for business, it took off after a year.

It was a little poetic that the bear came back into her life after all that.

She walked up to it and patted one of its arms, greeting it like an old friend. Gilmore had no idea what was happening and his head was too full to ask, so he just told her to get acquainted with the place before the opening the day after and dragged Vax off to see to the waffle stand.

Vex watched them go with a smile on her face and turned back to the bear. “It’s you and me again, buddy,” she told it. She grabbed its paw and shook it. “Nice to finally meet you. This is going to be fun.”

And it was fun.

Their bakery hadn’t made it through the selection process for the food stands at the carnival, but this way she could still show her face to prospective customers. People knew her as Vex from the bakery, so every time she chatted with them and handed out prizes to the children, she knew that she was putting her bakery back into their heads. The bakery was open, of course; their employees were running it during these weeks. Vex knew exactly how to pepper that fact into conversation.

Gilmore’s game was deceptively simple, so most customers left with a nice prize. The discount system worked too: Vax told her that most of the people who won a discount code showed up to get their waffles and spent some extra money on drinks and special toppings. Gilmore’s business was booming. And according to JP, the bakery was seeing customers too, despite the carnival.

The shifts were very long, but Vex didn’t mind. After the carnival she’d be beat for a couple of days, but for now she was thriving. She loved commerce. She loved carnivals. And Vax brought her waffles.

She ran the stand by herself, which kept her very busy during rush hours, but she preferred it that way. She liked having full control over the entire place. It reminded her of the first year at the bakery, when Vax and her were the only people keeping the place together. It was a little weird not to have Vax there, sometimes, considering that comparison, but every time she felt that she could just turn to Trinket.

She named him Trinket because all of the prizes were trinkets, and because he was adorable. Every morning when she came in, she patted him on his arm and told him good morning. A few days into the carnival, everyone knew that Vex had made friends with the giant bear at the shooting stand. She would stand next to it when the children were shooting and pretend to talk to it about how incredible their aim was. She’d frown and nod like she was listening to a response and tell the children that Trinket thought that they were awesome. No one came close to winning him, of course. You needed seriously good aim to get all of the targets, and for the big prize there was a time limit too.

Of course, some people couldn’t resist teasing her about her friendship with the bear. Like the handsome engineer who fixed broken games all day

He caught her eye as early as the second day of the carnival. He was called in to fix the Wack-A-Mole came right opposite to Vex’s stand and Vex absolutely did a double take when he came walking up.

He was wearing the same blue uniform as all the other engineers at the carnival did, but there was something different about him. He held himself as straight as a rod, every movement efficient and sharp. He wore glasses, golden-rimmed, and his shoes might be well-worn, they were clearly very high quality.

Money, she concluded with a surprise. You didn’t usually spot people with money doing jobs like this. He must enjoy it.

There was a lull in business around the time the engineer worked the Wack-A-Mole, so she had all the time in the world to send glances his way and check him out as he worked. He disappeared behind the machine for a while, but eventually he came back out, covered in grime and dirt and slightly sweaty. He wiped his hand over his forehead, still holding a wrench, and then he looked up and stared straight at her.

He looked eerily composed for someone who had just done some very dirty work. Something inside of Vex jumped to attention.

The engineer turned back to the guy running the Wack-A-Mole without saying anything and told him that there shouldn’t be any more problems with the machine. Vex made sure to busy herself at the till as they said their goodbyes, somehow knowing that he wouldn’t just leave. And she was right. Footsteps came up to her stand and halted, and when she looked up with her customer service smile, she found the handsome engineer.

“You must be bored,” he said. His voice was smooth and perfect, like whiskey down her throat. Lovely.

“It is rather quiet at the moment,” she replied, her smile fading into a more sincere one, “But the past half hour has been pretty entertaining.”

He smiled back. “You have a pretty intense stare.”

She leaned against the counter. “Being subtle is overrated, don’t you think?”

“Oh yes,” he said, “It has a time and a place.” He smiled again. “I’m Percy. I’d shake your hand, but…” He wiggled his grimy fingers. “Perhaps some other time.”

“I suppose we could do introductions without the traditional handshake,” Vex teased, “I’m Vex’ahlia.”

“Vex’ahlia,” he repeated, “Nice to meet you. You work with Gilmore?”

“Temporarily. He’s a friend. My brother and I own the bakery on sixth.”

“You didn’t get a spot with the stands?”

She shrugged. “Too many applicants. We’ll try again next year.”

“Shame. You make a mean cinnamon roll.”

Vex laughed. She was very proud of their cinnamon rolls. “You’re a fan, are you? I don’t remember seeing you around. I’m sure I would.”

He patted his head. “Is it the hair?”

He did have a very distinctive shock of white hair. But they’d already established her opinion on subtlety.

“That, and your face.”

He snorted and shot her a look. She just grinned back at him unabashedly.

“My sister usually picks them up,” he said, ignoring her compliment, “We have them for our Sunday brunch.”

Vex smiled. “What a lovely idea. We also have a great brioche every week. It makes for some really delicious French toast. Perfect for a brunch.”

He arched an eyebrow at her. “Are you trying to flirt me into spending more money, Vex’ahlia?”

She laughed and sent him a mischievous look. “I merely want you to have the best brunch experience as possible, Percy. We just happen to offer the best product.”

He looked her over and waved his finger at her. “You’re dangerous,” he concluded.

“Absolutely. But you don’t look like you scare easily.”

He grinned. “I do not.”

“Then I expect I’ll see you around.”

“You’d be wise to.”

“I am so wise.”

He came by every day after that. Usually, he just chatted her up during one of his shifts. His work took him everywhere around the carnival and he passed by her stand often enough to just have a brief moment to flirt with her. He was a good flirter. She was enjoying herself.

The first time he caught her doing her little act with Trinket in front of some kids, he hid his laughter behind a fist. It was busy, so he didn’t say anything at the time, but when he came back later that day he had a twinkle in his eye that told her that he hadn’t forgotten.

“You never introduced us,” he said as he approached.

Vex sighed, catching his meaning, and patted Trinket on his arm. “Do you hear that, buddy? We’ve made Percy question himself.”

“Well, the two of you are clearly very close.” Percy leaned against the counter, cocking his head at her. “A man can’t help but wonder if there’s a reason you didn’t want us to meet.”

She crossed her arms. “Not every guy gets to meet my pet bear.”

“You wound me.”

She laughed. Over the days, Percy had really made an impression on her. There was something about the way he looked at her, something sharp and perceptive, that made her feel seen in a way that she usually didn’t. Plus, he could dish it out as well as he took it. That was rare, in her experience.

She was called away to let some kids play the game and his gaze drifted over to the targets. Sometimes, when he watched someone play it, he started tapping his fingers against his thigh. There was a nervous energy to him when he watched someone shoot.

Vex smiled to herself and told Trinket that the girl was doing incredible. Once the child left with her prize, a plastic unicorn the size of a microwave, she sauntered back over to Percy.

“Just do it,” she said.

He turned his gaze on her. “Do what?”

She nodded to the game. “Give it a try. You clearly want to.”

He laughed.

She absolutely adored his laughter.

“It does seem fun,” he admitted, his eyes still twinkling joyfully.

“Well, go for it.” She winked at him. “Give me your money, Percy.”

“You won’t even give me a discount?”

“Percy, I am a businesswoman.”

He snorted and flexed his fingers, looking back at the targets. “Alright. Sure.” He dug into his pockets and pulled out some coins, depositing them in Vex’s outstretched hand. She put them in the till as he picked up the tiny plastic gun. It looked ridiculous in his large hands; a hilarious sight that she was trying not to laugh at. She didn’t want to break his concentration.

He weighed the thing in his hands for a second and then brought it up. His fingers flexed one more time. Then he pulled the trigger.

He hit the first target easily. “A strong start,” Vex told Trinket appreciatively.

His lips quirked up into a lop-sided smile, but he didn’t look away from the game. He shot again.

Hit.

Again.

Hit.

By this point, Vex was watching him with a bemused grin. He was good. Where did he get that kind of aim?

She checked the prize ratings to see what he was going to get if he kept this up.

He missed the next one and cursed, but Vex felt a rush of relief as she realised he wasn’t going to get a perfect score. She patted Trinket’s arm.

He hit the next three, then missed the last two. All in all, it was the best score anyone had gotten as of yet.

“Impressive,” she said as he put the plastic gun back down. She turned to the prizes to pull down an extensive embroidery set (unicorn-pattern included). “Much experience with fire arms?”

“In a way. I work at the paintball range just out of town.”

“Really?”

This man really loved to get down and dirty, huh?

She held out his prize to him. “That’s pretty cool. Is everyone there as good as you are?”

Percy tentatively took the embroidery set out of her hands, looking at it like it was a lost child he had no idea what to do with. “Not really. But they’re decent enough.”

She laughed at his expression and his blunt confidence. The sound of it drew his gaze back to her, and he sent her that enticing half-smile again.

“Well, I’m certainly impressed,” she told him, trying not to blush. Her heart skipped a beat whenever he smiled at her like that, and it was ridiculously embarrassing, even if he couldn’t tell.

Percy hummed and looked back at the game. “Don’t be impressed yet.”

She arched an eyebrow at him, but he didn’t give her an explanation. Instead, he got back to work, leaving her with a wave of his hand and a row of question marks on her mind, the embroidery set tucked underneath his arm. The question marks disappeared soon enough, because business picked up again after that.

Something in had changed, though. After that, he tried the game every day. He started hitting the fourth target pretty quickly, but the last two still eluded him. They were pretty challenging, and the little plastic gun clearly wasn’t his preferred weapon.

It was Vex’s favourite part of the day. Percy would come by, usually bringing her a drink or a snack or just a snarky comment about someone at the carnival, he’d hand her some cash and then he’d try the game. He didn’t get frustrated when he couldn’t hit everything, but he was never truly content with his work either. He just stared at the last two targets sometimes, cogs in his head clearly whirling, trying to figure out how to make this work. But he never stayed too long – he always got back to work right when he was supposed to. Percy was nothing if not punctual. Plus, he loved his work here. She could tell from the way he talked about it.

Vex was having the time of her life. Not even her brother’s teasing about Percy could dull her sheer joy.

Then one day, Percy hit the eighth target.

Vex couldn’t deny the way her stomach dropped when the squishy little ball hit the target. Percy looked better than he ever did, staring at it with a fire in his eyes that made him seem invincible. But Vex couldn’t focus on it, because she was too busy clutching the huge artificial bear beside her.

Percy brought up the gun again, and part of her wanted to call out for him to stop. Panic hit her like a freight train and she held her breath.

He missed.

Vex breathed out and tried to still her shaking fingers. Percy was frowning at the target, clearly discontent. She laughed to relieve some of her own tension.

“Don’t feel bad, darling,” she said, “The last one is a real killer. I think it was made to be impossible.”

“Nothing is impossible,” Percy said. He eyed the ninth target again, still holding the gun as if he might try again.

“Until when were you on break?” Vex asked quickly, “Five to? Because then you should be getting back to work.”

Percy nodded and put down the gun, turning to smile at her. “You’re right. I’ll see you tomorrow, Vex’ahlia.”

“Looking forward to it.”

She waved at him before he disappeared into the crowd. Then her smile dropped from her face.

She tried to shake off the tension in her neck and shoulders. She was doing customer service, for God’s sake. She had to look welcoming.

She plastered her smile back on and tried to forget.

She thought it worked right up until Percy came back the next day, a smile on his face and his money already in his hand. Immediately, her shoulders tensed up again.

She smiled back at him. “Back to give it another try, then?”

“I’m going to get it one of these days.”

“Oh, well… There’s only five days left. You might have to concede.”

Percy handed her the money, his eyes already on the targets. “Not I, Vex’ahlia. Not I.”

Vex’s heart was in her throat from the moment he picked up the gun to the second he put it back down. He still couldn’t hit the ninth target, but she was getting seriously nervous. He’d managed to go from hitting the first seven to the first eight in… What, three days? There were still five days of the carnival left. The ninth target was definitely the hardest to hit, but, contrary to what she said before, it wasn’t impossible. He just needed some seriously good aim and a healthy dose of luck.

She looked at her bear. She felt jittery and uncomfortable, like she’d had too much caffeine.

“Are you alright?” Percy asked, a worried frown between his eyes.

Vex almost jumped. “What? Yes. I’m fine.”

She was being short with him, but for some reason he was annoying her right then.

He didn’t seem to pick up on it. Instead, he just nodded and said his goodbyes before heading back out into the fray.

Vex couldn’t calm down for the rest of the day. She kept glancing at Trinket, standing beside her all big and strong and dependable. She wouldn’t admit to it, but she’d been secretly thinking about taking him home after the carnival was done. She was sure she could give Gilmore a fair price for him. After all, she was now at an age where she could indulge herself. She could have the huge bear plushie if she wanted to. She could take him if no one else did.

After her shift ended that night, she looked up Gilmore. She couldn’t help herself.

“Shaun,” she said, making her voice and smile as warm and inviting as possible.

He arched an eyebrow at her, already suspicious.

Vex dropped the act. She frowned. “Is there a way to make sure that no one wins the main prize?”

“What?”

She was about to repeat her question when he held up a hand to silence her. “That’s illegal, Vex. We’re not doing that.”

“But is there?” she pushed.

Gilmore sighed and stepped up to her, sending her one of his own signature dazzling grins. “Vex’ahlia. Darling. If you mess with the mechanics of my game, I will snap your neck like a twig.”

Vex repressed an angry pout and turned away from him. “I was just joking,” she snapped. She straightened out her shirt and left him.

The next few days, she had to physically restrain herself from biting her nails while on shift. The jittery energy she’d felt the day Percy hit the eighth target was a constant now. She kept bouncing her leg and rolling a coin between her fingers. She did breathing exercises to keep herself from rushing the customers, but she couldn’t help the turbulent river of nervousness that coursed through her own body. The sight of Percy’s white shock of hair in the crowd was no longer something that she looked forward to. Instead, every day she crossed her fingers that that day he’d be too busy to visit.

He never was, of course. No, he showed up every day, at a different moment, catching her off guard just as business lulled for a moment. First, she’d draw him into conversation, asking him about his work, his family, his hobbies, anything. She flirted excessively, trying to keep his attention fully occupied. But, about five minutes before his break would end, he’d hand her the money and pick up the gun.

She hated him a little bit in those moments. Couldn’t this guy take a fucking hint?

But he still hadn’t hit the ninth target by the time the last day of the carnival arrived. Vex dared to be a little hopeful. The odds were against him, at least, and she’d talked to Gilmore about taking Trinket home after the carnival. As long as they got through this day, her buddy would have a permanent place in her living room. But she hadn’t yet cleared out a spot. She didn’t have that kind of confidence yet.

When Percy came to the shooting stand that day, it felt like the moment that the entirety of these two weeks had led up to. She kind of felt like there should be a crowd for this. Someone should be paying attention, at least. Instead, everyone around them was just having their regular fun. Someone was cackling at the Wack-A-Mole stand. A mother was chastising her child for holding their ice-cream a little loosely. In the distance, they could hear the excited yelling of people on one of the more exciting rides.

Percy smiled at her as he gave her the money for the game. “One more try,” he said conspiratorially.

Vex forced a laugh that sounded hollow to her own ears, clutching the money in her hands.

She refused to hold onto Trinket as Percy picked up the gun. Instead, she crossed her arms, hunching her shoulders a little. She felt small, and she hated it. She hated that she cared about this. She hated that she couldn’t talk about it.

She was six years old again, walking past that carnival game just to steal another glance.

Percy hit the first five targets easily. He moved in a smooth line now, quick as a dancer. He was beautiful.

He took a breath before he hit the sixth. Took a second. Hit the seventh. The eighth.

Vex’ahlia held her breath. Her heart was racing. For some reason, fight or flight was kicking in, and she had the incredible urge to break something. She wanted to punch his pretty face.

Percy angled the gun. He moved his hand a hairbreadth. Settled.

Vex followed the little ball with her eyes as it shot towards the ninth target. She watched it sail right into it with an audible plop.

Bells went off. She was pretty sure a confetti gun covered the entire place in colourful paper. She didn’t care.

Tears rushed into her eyes. She was six years old, and she had to walk past the carnival stand. She had to give up the bear.

She looked up and caught the tail-end of an adorable dorky victory dance that Percy was doing. He had a grin on his face that could light up the night sky.

She turned away quickly, palming at her eyes to get rid of the tears. She took a deep breath.

She was twenty-seven. It was time to give up the bear.

“Congratulations!” she said, turning back to Percy with a smile.

His grin had faded into a content smirk. “I knew I could do it. I just had to get it right.”

“It’s a real feat.”

She tried to keep her voice peppy. Percy was a good guy. She liked Percy. It was just a bear.

He was basking in his own satisfaction. “Can I come pet him?” he asked her, a tease to his voice.

Vex forced a laugh and waved him over to the stand’s entry point. “Of course. He’s all yours.”

Percy entered the stand and stepped up into her space since the first time she met him. He was a little taller than she was, and he smelled like oil and caramel apples. He had her favourite smile on his face, but she couldn’t enjoy it.

She turned her face away and led him to Trinket. “Here he is! The man himself.”

“An honour to finally meet you,” Percy said, patting Trinket’s paw with his hand.

Vex bit her cheek.

“So,” Percy said casually, glancing at her, “What are you going to do with him?”

She blinked slowly. “What?”

“The bear,” Percy said, “Where are you going to put him? He’s pretty big.”

“Where am I going to put him?”

“Well, yes.” Percy turned his body towards her and crossed his arms, smiling down at her. His eyes had a boyish glint to them. “I’m not going to separate a lady from her pet bear. What do you take me for?”

Vex needed another few moments to wrap her head around what he was telling her. “What? You… What, you’re… You’re… Wait, you’re giving me the bear? You won it.”

“I think you’ll give him a better home than I would. Besides, isn’t this customary? Winning a prize for your date?”

“You…” Vex’ahlia let out a laugh. All of the tension she’d accumulated dispersed in one cackling bout of laughter. When she finally wiped the tears from her eyes, Percy was looking at her a little weird, although not at all displeased.

“I didn’t know we were on a date,” she said finally. Her hand reached for Trinket instinctively, and when she touched him, she knew that she could finally take him home.

She was twenty-seven. This bear was hers.

#critical role #percahlia #perc'ahlia #cr fanfic #critical role fanfic #original #txt.

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toshootforthestars · 3 years

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From the report by Beth Mole, posted 19 July 2021:

Fully vaccinated people are largely protected from delta; the current vaccines are still highly effective against developing COVID-19 from delta and other variants of concern. Though a small proportion of people can develop so-called “breakthrough infections,” those infections will mostly be asymptomatic or mild. But, unvaccinated people are completely vulnerable. Moreover, those who have received only one dose of a two-dose vaccine or have only recovered from COVID-19 are not much better off than those who are completely unvaccinated.

But according to new polling data from CBS News, a new wave of vaccinations seems unlikely. Among unvaccinated and partly vaccinated people, only 48% said they are concerned about delta. Among fully vaccinated people, 72% reported being concerned about the variant.

Despite the fact that the current COVID-19 vaccines have proven highly effective and safe, 53% of those who are unvaccinated or partly vaccinated said in the poll that they are concerned about side effects. 50% of the group cited a lack of trust in the government as a reason not to get vaccinated. And 45% said they don’t trust the science. All of these percentages are higher than they have been in earlier polls, indicating that these anti-vaccine sentiments are hardening among the unvaccinated.

Some unvaccinated people who may be more persuadable have said they are waiting for the vaccines to receive full approval from the Food and Drug Administration (currently, they are authorized by the FDA under an emergency use authorization). On Friday, Pfizer and BioNTech said that the FDA had granted them a Priority Review designation for their mRNA vaccine, but they didn’t expect a decision on full approval until January 2022. Currently, vaccine providers are administering only around 520,000 COVID-19 vaccine per day, down from a record of 4.6 million in a day in April.

With over 161 million people vaccinated, only 48.6% of the US population is fully vaccinated.

See also: How much COVID misinformation is on Facebook? Its execs don’t want to know

For years, misinformation has flourished on Facebook. Falsehoods, misrepresentations, and outright lies posted on the site have shaped the discourse on everything from national politics to public health. But despite their role in facilitating communications for billions of people, Facebook executives refused to commit resources to understand the extent to which COVID-19-related misinformation pervaded its platform, according to a report in The New York Times.

Early in the pandemic, a group of data scientists at Facebook met with executives to propose a project that would determine how many users saw misleading or false information about COVID. It wasn’t a small task—they estimated that the process could take up to a year or more to complete—but it would give the company a solid understanding of the extent to which misinformation spread on its platform.

The executives listened to the data scientists’ pitch and then reportedly ghosted them.

The data team’s proposal wasn’t approved, and they were never given an explanation for why it was silently dropped.

The revelations come as Facebook has drawn fire from the White House for its role in the spread of misinformation about COVID-19 and the vaccines that prevent it. “They’re killing people,” President Joe Biden said about the role of social networks in the spread of misinformation. “Look, the only pandemic we have is among the unvaccinated. They’re killing people.”

Biden later walked back his comments slightly, but they revealed the administration’s frustration with social media platforms—and with Facebook in particular—over their response to the pandemic.

For weeks, the White House pressed Facebook for details on how the company is combating COVID vaccine misinformation. The social network offered some details but gave unsatisfying answers to other requests.

Facebook’s unwillingness or inability to understand the scope of COVID misinformation on its platform was apparent in comments it gave to The New York Times, in which it blamed its nescience on the lack of a “standard definition” for pandemic-related misinformation. “The suggestion we haven’t put resources toward combating COVID misinformation and supporting the vaccine rollout is just not supported by the facts,” said Dani Lever, a Facebook spokeswoman.

“With no standard definition for vaccine misinformation, and with both false and even true content (often shared by mainstream media outlets) potentially discouraging vaccine acceptance, we focus on the outcomes—measuring whether people who use Facebook are accepting of COVID-19 vaccines.”

For researchers who study misinformation, that explanation isn’t sufficient. “They need to open up the black box that is their content ranking and content amplification architecture,“ Imran Ahmed, chief executive of the Center for Countering Digital Hate, told The New York Times. “Take that black box and open it up for audit by independent researchers and government. We don’t know how many Americans have been infected with misinformation.”

Me:

This situation is extremely bad!

First off, the individuals that aren’t getting vaccinated just do not care to. They’ve bought hook line and sinker into all the disinfo and misinfo on facebook, instagram, youtube, tiktok, reddit, and/or whatever 8chan replacement one choosed. What they see and read reinforces their pre-conceived (and factually incorrect) views that “experts” “really don’t know shit about anything” and thusly are “blowing things way the fuck outta proportion,” etc. Their views are both informed by, and reinforced by:

what they read and see online

what they hear on FM/AM radio

what they watch on broadcast TV

what their friends and communities consume from media

what the prevailing societal and political attitudes in one’s community are

“rugged individualism” and the post-1980 erosion of the social contract

So, if your fb friends are covid truthers, if the on-air personalities you hear on the radio at work are covid truthers, if your neighbors and friends at werk are covid truthers, if the elected leaders are covid truthers, if the snippets of Fox News you get to see randomly are pushing covid truther disinfo, and if those in your inner circle at that 4th of July party you went to are covid truthers, then you yourself, at a minimum from peer pressure, will dismiss the recommendations of the American Academy of Pediatrics, the American Medical Association, scores of hospital operators, plus countless professionals in medicine and epidemiology in your decision not to get vaccinated, nor to mask up indoors in public even when “recommended”.

“I have rights. I know what’s really going on. I’ve got things figured out.” Or, at a minimum, “I don’t give a fuck either way.” “Fuck you.”

Facebook absolutely is responsible for the covid truther disinfo and misinfo being shared on their platform. I believe they are the largest vector of disinformation and misinformation to the public. So many people are chugging the “vaccines are a scam, masks don’t work and I have rights” kool-aid thanks to disinfo introduced and shared widely on facebook

Some other major vectors of disinfo: iHeartMedia - Premiere Networks - iHeartRadio, Entercom/Audacy, Westwood One, One America News, Fox News, Newsmax, Sinclair Broadcast Group, YouTube + Google, TikTok, and Reddit.

“I saw a video on YouTube where the military did a study…” or “I heard a guy on the radio saying mask mandates are part of a plot…” It's all bullshit!

At this point it cannot be anything but an active choice the leadership at these companies consciously make to pipe out total bullshit in a time of crisis. Content from all of the above easily makes its way to facebook, too, unrestricted!

The U.S continues to spiral into this post fact, post truth, anti-intellectual, anti-science neo-fascist hellscape where no lives matter and where mass death is AOK because “none of us get out of this world alive” or some asshat folksy quip that masks as wisdom. Empathy, reasoning, established facts and observable reality have all become political statements… People hear what they want to hear.

IMO this is truly a disastrous situation with no easy way out.

Many, many people will not wear masks again. Many, many people see the survival rate for coronavirus and they surmise wrongly that the risk for them of getting covid is worth it, that the risk for others isn’t remotely their concern, and that the entire situation is overblown. The social contract is in bad shape. Public confidence in the state is almost gone. Covid truthers are everywhere.

Getting a vaccine requires time off from work to travel to a mass vax site that’s still open, time off to recoup post-shot (if necessary), and overcoming fear that the anti-vax disinfo on social media was true after all. Plus overcoming peer pressure from unvaccinated friends and family.

Covid case numbers are likely undercounts. Test kits are still problematic. Persons with no health insurance have no PCP to call when they get sick. Underinsured persons may have to wait weeks for their approved PCP to get around to a telehealth call. Many people are getting sick and not getting tested and they’re not reporting anything to anyone. State officials, wanting to look good, may skew whatever data is reported to them.

COVID-19 is an airborne virus. Most people catch covid from contagious asymptomatic people. Coronavirus has always been a risk for children! Getting vaccinated is part of an overall good strategy to keep COVID-19 at bay. Masks work!!! If indoors, stay in a ventilated room if you’re with other people, and keep doors and windows open for air circulation. Coronavirus is producing extremely serious long-term cognitive and cardiovascular complications for many people who survive it. “Long covid” is real.

We don’t have to live with this! The political and business leadership in much of the United States today have collectively decided there’s nothing that can or should be done in regards to covid-19, no masking requirements, no easy supplies of N95 masks, and no mitigation efforts of any kind. They wrongly conclude that COVID-19, a new virus with so many unknowns, “isn’t that bad” and so the level of permanent damage or death resulting from covid is acceptable.

None of this is acceptable, the amount of permanent damage and death occurring from COVID-19 is far, far too high, and there’s no rational excuse whatsoever to allow this virus to spread across this country unchecked. There’s no reason to allow this virus to spread further. There’s no valid reason for me and anyone else to justify allowing covid to spread out of control.

#news #coronavirus #third wave #covid vaccine #facebook sucks #please get vaccinated #misinformation #disinformation #america 2021 #rant #ars technica #vaccine hesitancy #anti vaxxer #things are going swimmingly #long post

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undeadorion-archive · 3 years

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Strap in, folks! It’s family drama time! But there’s a lot of history, first. CW: emotional abuse, anti-vax/mask, physical assault

I have 2 sisters. One older, one younger. We’re all our own brand of mess thanks to an emotionally abusive and manipulative mother. But my older sister takes it to a whole new level. She’s the one who fell into perpetuating the cycle of abuse.

Older sister is 6 years older than me, thus in her mid-40s. Younger sister is 1 year younger than me.

Technically, my older sister is adopted. But she’s also my biological sister. It’s a longer story, but my mom got into a serious accident when my older sister was just a baby. My mom’s cousins adopted her, but didn’t tell her until she was like 10. They told her she was going to meet her biological family, gave her a one way ticket from the midwest to Oregon, and put her on a plane by herself. They didn’t tell her she was leaving for good. Which, understandably, would mess someone up for a while.

Growing up, she had some serious issues with acting out and just being awful. She’d skip school to bring boyfriends home and have sex in other people’s beds, for example.

The big thing she did to me, however, happened when I was like 20. I’d injured my knee severely and was still waiting to see the physical therapist. I couldn’t bend my right leg at all, I’d later find out it was because my kneecap had started to heal crooked. But at the time this happened, I was just in so much pain I was physically ill. She cornered me in the kitchen about something and refused to let me leave until I told her what she wanted to hear. I was in tears because I just wanted to go lay back down. I begged her to move, she wouldn’t listen. I tried to slap her out of sheer panic, but because of the pain and standing on one foot, I barely even touched her. She responded by taking my feet out from under me and laying on top of me, in a wrestling move type of thing. She then mocked me for not being able to get back up while I was laying on the floor having what I now realize was an extreme panic attack. I couldn’t even speak.

To this day, she waffles between claiming to not remember it even happening and it not being a big deal. By one line in the sand is that if she apologizes, genuinely, for it then I’ll speak to her again. She’s tried exactly once in 15 years, and it was to tell me to get over it and move on.

At some point, she moved 300 miles away. She would periodically come to visit, but I wasn’t speaking to anyone in my family during that time.

She got REAL mad when I moved in with my dad. For the longest time using my deadname or the wrong pronouns. Eventually upgrading to calling me “Colon” (with the quotes). I’ve lived her since early 2018, and she continues to insist that I turned my dad and younger sister against her. Even though it was her vitriolic behavior about me that did it. My only caveat is that I don’t have to see her if she ever comes to visit. Yet somehow that’s too much for her to handle.

Slowly, my dad and younger sister started distancing themselves. The biggest blow coming in the middle of 2020. Late in 2019, my dad had started planning a trip out to see her in May. He bought plane tickets because he’s getting older and he just can’t do that drive anymore. Then his flight was cancelled so he re-scheduled for September. But the more the pandemic dragged on, the more he questioned it. So he told her he was going to cancel for now and they could try again after the world got back to normal.

She absolutely fucking lost it. Just blew her top. Started ranting and raving about how it’s all a hoax. Called him selfish and demanded he have empathy for her plight. Expecting him to risk the airport, when he was in a very high risk category, between his age and health issues.

After that, she got REAL loud about being against masks. And eventually, against the vaccine.

Then, about a year ago, she “coincidentally” tested positive for COVID when she went to the hospital for pneumonia. And expected the family to travel 300 miles to see her because of it. She’s still anti-mask and anti-vaccine.

All the while she’s been threatening my younger sister to come and visit. While also demanding to take my niece and nephew (ages 9 and 4) out for a day just the 3 of them. Without any other adults. Like flat out harassing my younger sister about it.

She was constantly attacking both my dad and younger sister. And any time they’d say anything in the real of “that’s not okay” she’d start in with the usual “That’s just my OPINION” nonsense. Like telling my younger sister to have a cleaner house.

Then added on top of all that, over the last year we lost our 2 closest relatives. Our aunt and uncle who lived one town over. We practically lived at their house for several summers. When older sister was told about their passing, all she said was “sorry to hear that,” as if they were strangers. She didn’t care at all about it, and was almost irritated that she was expected to acknowledge it.

Until a few weeks ago. We went to help our cousins with clearing out the house. Took some heirlooms and sentimental stuff and otherwise helped sell what they weren’t keeping. They lived in a huge house out in the middle of farm country, so cell signal was non-existent and internet was spotty at best. She saw younger sister posting photos from the visit, and lost her shit. Because she expected us to video call her so she could see what stuff there was. Of course didn’t give a damn about the emotional weight of it all.

Sometime after that, she ended up calling my dad and berating him about it all. Just yelling and insulting him for no reason. She called him a “Stubborn old fool” and hung up.

In the interim she had to go back to the hospital due to post-covid complications. During which she was on a call with my younger sister. Pulled that usual abuser tactic of pushing someone’s buttons until they explode and then letting someone see just the fallout. So she could then tell my dad the doctor asked if everything was safe at home, and called my younger sister abusive for it.

Well, today was all of this coming together in one single phone call. My dad called her back after a missed call, mostly to check in after her hospital visit. And all of a sudden it became her bemoaning her “abandonment issues.” Like literally saying “You should have compassion because of my abandonment issues.” This was in response to my dad telling her calmly that he didn’t like when she insulted him or yelled at him, which she also defended with saying she had been “frustrated”. As if that excused any of her behavior. It ended with him saying “I’m not your therapist,” and telling her to speak to one.

Ultimately, she proved that she’s allowed to say or do whatever she wants and everyone else must only be nice and sweet to her.

Also, somehow, this is all my fault. Personally.

Family is exhausting.

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keplercryptids · 5 years

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The Deal

(hi, i can’t stop thinking about how, as Vex was drowning, Liam said quietly to Matt, “We had a deal.” i also can’t stop thinking about how Vax told Vex, “I don’t worry about you anymore” at her wedding. also also i can’t stop thinking about and crying over the twins. so here, have this kinda sloppy thing. spoilers abound for the dalen’s closet oneshot, and all of the first campaign of CR, obviously!)

A gust of wind sluices through heavy fog, cutting a path straight toward a massive obsidian tower that rises up above the Astral Sea. This tower is sometimes a dark pool with a vast masked face floating above its surface. At times it’s an enormous gnarled oak tree, roosted to bursting with ravens. Today, it is a tower.

As the gust of wind draws near, the air develops feathers.

Blowing through the open stone doorway at the base of the tower, the wind takes form. Vax’ildan the champion steps forward, a plume of black feathers cascading off of him like smoke. He strides purposefully--angrily--through the antechamber. Every bootstep echoes off the stone walls. He’s moving like a panther, like a shadow, like a thing he was always taught to fear. The feathers on his armor are bristling, and still more black feathers stream off of him as if he’s burning.

He storms into the main chamber, a room of black marble with a domed ceiling a hundred feet up. A large bronze throne sits against the far wall, its brushed metal surface standing out amidst all the black. And upon it, there sits the Raven Queen. Massive, as always, with black hair falling in curtains on either side of her porcelain-mask face. She doesn’t move as Vax comes careening into the room.

“We had a deal!” he shouts at her. His voice echoes, even through a mask of his own. He gives her no time to respond. “We had a deal. I gave my life to you, gladly. I devoted my whole self to you, for this? So she could live for one more measly year? To drown the night before her wedding? To leave her child motherless?” Here, Vax feels his throat clench, as if an iron hand is wrapped around it, trying to choke him quiet. He rips off the mask, throwing it to the side, refusing. “We. Had. A. Deal,” he shouts, louder.

The Raven Queen stands, slowly, hands clasped loosely in front of her. “Do you not trust me, my champion?” she asks, and even without shouting, her voice fills the space.

Vax ceases pacing for just a moment. “I do,” he says. “Of course I do. But my sister--”

The queen lifts a hand. He quiets immediately, and then she waves to the side. A portal forms beside her, a window that faces Vax. Hazy to be sure, but through it, Vax sees his sister. He saw her through a window of his own making moments ago, drowning, dying, dead, adrift in a black sea. But here, she is lying on the shore. Pike, wreathed in beautiful light, is removing Vex’s earrings, clutching them in both hands, lips moving soundlessly as the waves crash nearby, and then--

Vex’ahlia sputters and gasps. She sits up. She smiles weakly at her friend. Breathing once more.

The Raven Queen closes the window. Her masked face turns toward Vax. “The deal you think you made is a fallacy, Vax’ildan. The true deal you made was with your friends, your family. When you forged those bonds, you promised to keep each other safe, at any cost.” Her hair moves slightly, billowing up as if she’s submerged in water, as she continues. “They keep each other alive out of love. And when you joined me, that dedication only grew, that love only burned brighter. They will not let her die.”

“I know that. But I know it’s ultimately in your hands, my queen.” And Vax bows his head. His body is still. The torrent of black feathers around him has dissipated like mist, and he feels slightly ashamed.

The Raven Queen sits once more on her throne, and pauses for a few moments before saying, “You have taught me much, Vax’ildan. For all I know about natural order, you have taught me that the dead can grieve the living.”

Vax nods once, but that is all. He waits for further admonishment and, to his surprise, when the Raven Queen speaks again, it’s in a gentle, almost lilting tone.

“Come closer, my champion,” she says. He obeys, walking to her side. She places a large, taloned hand upon his head. “You worry.”

“Yes, my queen.”

“Why?”

“My friends are powerful, and I know they will always try to take care of each other. But they cannot alter the threads of fate. Everything they do is by your design.”

The mask moves back and forth, almost imperceptibly. “No, my champion. It is not my design. I simply support the design that’s already in place.”

“Of course, my queen.” Vax bows his head again. When he straightens, he speaks. “How long is my sister’s thread?” The words come from his lips without forethought, without expectation, a question he’s been too terrified to ask but nonetheless one that whispers to him in the dark. A question he wants to scream when his ravens send word of his sister’s grief, which is at times a consuming and almost violent force. He caused this pain. It has to be worth it, and it’ll only be worth it if she lives a long, happy life.

The queen’s face is as impassive as ever, but Vax thinks he can hear a slight smile in her voice. “I asked you when you first joined me if you wanted to know about your sister’s thread. You declined.”

“I want to know now. I...” Vax glances at his discarded mask, lying on the other side of the chamber like a crumpled bird. “I need to know,” he says.

The mask nods. She lifts a hand and creates a new window, a brighter one this time. And he sees Vex’ahlia again. Chasing a few small children around a garden, laughing. Flying on her broom above Whitestone, her hair streaked with bright silver. Dining with their friends, all of them older, wrinkled and grayed but glowing, glowing together. Vex’ahlia, a mother, a leader, happy. All the things he saw in her when no one else did. Vex’ahlia, an elder, cradling one grandchild, and then another. Vax is so entranced that when the Raven Queen speaks, he almost jumps.

“Her thread is thus. She will live a long life, and die a natural death, warm in her bed, surrounded by her friends and children.”

“Thank you,” Vax whispers, and the Raven Queen uses a talon to wipe a tear from his cheek that he didn’t know was there.

The mask turns slowly, as if the Raven Queen caught sight of an interesting pattern in the stonework of the wall to her left. After a few beats of silence, she speaks. “Your friends are calling to you now. To speak at your sister’s wedding.”

Vax doesn’t respond.

“They’ve called to you before, as you know. But never with this much force.” She stands. “What would you like to do, Vax’ildan?”

Vax sets his jaw. “Whatever you will, my queen.”

She places a finger underneath his chin. “I am asking you. What do you wish?”

In a flash, he imagines Scanlan, strumming a lute and belting out a song. He pictures Pike, golden wings spread wide. He sees Percy in the quiet moments after a fight, cleaning out a gun. He remembers Grog, sloshing ale over the side of a mug as he throws his head back and laughs. He thinks of Keyleth, beautiful, her hand pressed against the bark of the Sun Tree as she smiles, speaking a language only she can. And he thinks of Vex.

“Let’s go,” he says.

#stealth twins #critical role #cr 1 #critical role spoilers #dalen's closet #cr fic #crit role fic #critical role fic #my writing #vax'ildan

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blkholeinfinity · 5 years

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My Good Omens Headcanon That No One Asked For

I’m not saying that anyone else’s headcanon are incorrect, or that anyone’s wrong for disagreeing with me! And honestly, just because these are my headcanon doesn’t mean I don’t accept other headcanon. Think of it as: if I was going to write Good Omens fanfic, these are the headcanon I’m going to roll with. If I’m enjoying fanworks or meta, anything goes, even/especially things that contradict my own headcanon.

And since the miniseries is burning stronger in my brainspace than the book atm, this is all relevant to the miniseries canon only.

Bonus Ineffable Bureaucracy headcanon at the end!

Ineffable Husbands Being Dumb About Their Feelings Headcanon

Crowley has been infatuated - not in love - with Aziraphale from the beginning. He didn’t realize his infatuation until Rome, and I can’t pinpoint when or where that infatuation turned into love since I believe it was a slow, gradual process. He definitely realized it before 1862, though, if not in 1862 the second Aziraphale said “fraternizing.”

For Aziraphale, he was fascinated with Crowley since the beginning. Maybe infatuated, too. He realized his infatuation a lot sooner, hence why he blatantly hit on Crowley in Rome (maybe realized it in Rome?), but then took a few giant steps back until sometime after 537 when he started making his way back to Crowley again, thus beginning his complicated feelings about his not-so-complicated feelings about Crowley. In other words, his brain was trying to convince himself that it was Not Personal, Purely Business, Just Friendship (But Not Officially), even if his heart was screaming at him otherwise. His infatuation grew into love over the centuries, but he didn’t realize it until, famously, 1941.

1967 was when they both realized that the other definitely felt the same way. Where Crowley was ready to take it to the next step at that moment, Aziraphale, well. WE ALL KNOW.

They finally stopped being dumb after the bus stop. They didn’t take things further than making out before they (Aziraphale) realized what Agnes’s prophecy meant, but they finally stopped being dumb about their feelings either on the way back from Tadfield or in Crowley’s flat.

Aziraphale was the one who had to stop being dumb first, and he absolutely was. He confessed first, he kissed Crowley first. They’d never make any progress otherwise.

General Aziraphale and Crowley Headcanon

I headcanon angels and demons having the power to speak whatever language they need to when on Earth, but Aziraphale and Crowley have been on Earth too long to remember this particular power in their arsenal. If they haven’t used it in the past, say, 100 years, they’ve forgotten the language completely.

Until they remember that they have this particular power. But don’t count on them coming to that realization on their own.

Anyway, Aziraphale and Crowley both canonically know English in the present day, obviously, but they’ve retained some German and French from their WWII shenanigans. Crowley knows some Russian although he isn’t particularly good at it because he played around quite a bit during the Cold War, and Aziraphale is surprisingly fluent in Japanese. Because sushi.

Aziraphale is a damn good swordsangel.

Crowley tries to get Aziraphale to watch TV and movies by tailoring his recommendations to what he knows Aziraphale would like and sitting down with him to watch it. Because Crowley knows Aziraphale so well, it’s actually a successful endeavor... until Aziraphale tries to watch something on his own that wasn’t a Crowley Recommendation and Regrets Everything.

In turn, Aziraphale definitely drags Crowley to every single West End production at least once a month. Crowley complains but he doesn’t actually mind. He really does enjoy most of the shows.

Crowley was all about that rock-and-roll life in the 1980s. Mostly for the aesthetic, though.

Crowley would absolutely be a cat person, if cats were demon people. But cats and demons don’t mix. This makes him a little sad, but at least he always has his rats?

Aziraphale and Crowley’s Sexuality Headcanon

I headcanon them both as demiromantic, sex-neutral asexuals.

And by demiromantic I mean that Aziraphale is Crowley-romantic and Crowley is Aziraphale-romantic.

They both have had sex prior to each other for a variety of reasons, but mostly either out of curiosity or because their jobs.

The first time they had sex with each other was primarily out of curiosity, since this is what a lot of humans do when they’re in love so might as well see if it’s any different with each other than with others. They found that they rather enjoy it better with each other than with anyone else they’ve ever slept with, but still didn’t quite understand what the big deal was, but they continue to do it every few years or so.

But they love to make out and cuddle.

General Angel and Demon Headcanons

Most angels and demons don’t really... get... gender. They present the way that they do for a few different reasons, the most popular ones being either aesthetics or apathy (aka- they were given the bodies they were given and never really gave another thought to them).

Any angel or demon who has spent a considerable amount of time on Earth are the exceptions to the rule. Obviously this includes Aziraphale and Crowley, and they’re probably the only two who are the closest to getting it - not that any of them are playing by humanity’s gender rules. They’re still either going for aesthetics or convenience.

In other words, just because Aziraphale and Crowley understand how gender works by human standards doesn’t mean they abide by it. It’s like that meme: Aziraphale’s gender is “nah” and Crowley’s gender is “yes.”

When in Heaven or Hell, the angels and demons speak a celestial language. The demons have bastardize it since falling, but it’s still the same basic language, and none of it is a human language.

Bunny Demon/Eric/Disposable Demon has a sort of hero worship crush (not an actual crush) on Crowley. Sorry, you can pry this one from my cold, dead fingers.

In the Final-Final Battle, Aziraphale and Crowley won’t be the only angel/demon to go against Heaven and Hell for the sake of humanity. There are 10 million angels and 10 million demons, at least a handful of them are going to join them, but it’ll be a long, slow process.

Yes, Bunny Demon/Eric/Disposable Demon will still be the first one to join their side.

God Headcanons

God isn’t just a woman, but a genderfluid woman.

She’s utterly fond of Aziraphale, which is why she never punished him for giving away the flaming sword.

And yes, she definitely knows that he did that. She wasn’t angry, just Disappointed.

She’s the reason Aziraphale and Crowley were handed Agnes’s final prophecy. Come on, that piece of paper flew to Aziraphale’s hand just a little too purposefully.

Also she’ll never let Aziraphale fall because, again, she’s really fond of him. You can pry that one from my cold, dead fingers, too.

Not!Armageddon was absolutely planned the way that it was so she could get her ultimate revenge on Satan - by having his own son disavow him.

God’s plan is Ineffable mostly because she keeps changing her mind.

And also she’s the trolliest troll who ever trolled.

Anathema, Newt, and The Them Headcanons

Anathema stays in Tadfield and becomes a surrogate big sister to the Them, but especially to Adam.

Newt also stays in Tadfield and has a more diverse relationship with the Them: Adam is indifferent, he and Wensleydale and Brian wind up getting along swimmingly, and Pepper straight up dislikes him.

Mrs. Young adores Anathema and Newt. Mr. Young, on the other hand, disapproves of them, but sees them as generally harmless enough to allow Adam to hang out with them. Not that Adam would stop even if Mr. Young tried to forbid it.

Pepper takes up swordfighting once she starts junior high/high school by taking classes at a local HEMA guild.

Dog lives forever.

The Four Horsepeople of the Apocalypse Headcanons

(Un)fortunately, War, Famine, and Pollution aren’t perma-dead. They come back and pick their lives up right where they left off.

These four are a Found Family.

I also ship them all together. OT4, ya’ll.

Pestilence is definitely THE anti-vax mom and is delighted that they might be coming out of retirement soon.

Not that Pollution intends to retire just because Pestilence is back.

But there’s always room for one more, is the Horsepeople’s opinion.

So now they are the Five Horsepeople of the Apocalypse. Fight them, God.

(God doesn’t care, this is all the humans’ doing anyway.)

And yes, the Them gets a fifth person to their crew to counter Pestilence. Probably someone aspiring to be a doctor. This is an accident, of course. Sort of. Adam can’t explain it, but his Antichrist senses were tingling...

Ineffable Bureaucracy Headcanons

Gabriel and Beelzebub were absolutely a Thing before Beelzebub fell, and their dynamic is more like an exhausted-but-still-angry-but-still-in-love divorced couple.

They start reuniting after Not!Armageddon, but it takes a few years for them to get there.

Gabriel is a sex-repulsed asexual (I do not sully my body...), where Beelzebub is a sex-neutral asexual.

And they’re both demiromantic. By which I mean Gabriel is Beelzebub-romantic and Beelzebub is Gabriel-romantic. But they hate it. They didn’t use to hate it, but then Beelzebub fell and things got messy and complicated and things were said that cannot be unsaid.

Gabriel uses ‘he’ pronouns (which I think is canon anyway?) where Beelzebub doesn’t care what pronouns you use for them. (Personally, I love ‘ze/they/her’ for Beelzebub, but I don’t think zey care.)

Aziraphale’s and Crowley’s brains broke when they discovered that Gabriel and Beelzebub are a couple now and they still haven’t fully recovered.

#good omens #good omens headcanon #ineffable husbands #ineffable bureaucracy #the them #anathema #four horsepeople of the apocalypse

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otdderamin · 5 years

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Analysis: The hidden pain of Jester and Scanlan – CR C2 Ep76 and CR C1 Ep85

Spoilers for Campaign 1 through episode 85 and Campaign 2 through episode 76

One thing I really love about Critical Role from both campaigns is the way they show that the seemingly happy, jokey, funny, delightful people are really using that as a mask for a lot of pain and insecurity that they're either hiding or repressing and that can't last forever.

Scanlan was hurt and angry that no one asked about his issues seriously or asked what he needed, but he also buried everything and deflected when they did ask about him. He wanted to be seen and understood, but all he gave them was a facade of being fine. Until he broke.

Jester's playing with the same idea in a different way. She learned being seen is bad and her purpose is making other people happy. Her own desires aren't really important. She's afraid she'll disappoint everyone if she admits she's not okay (even to herself), so she buries it.

Both The Mighty Nein and a lot of the audience are kind of infantilizing her, largely ignoring her pain and complexity. Laura does not get enough credit for her roleplaying because I think that's the impression Jester is intentionally cultivating out of deep insecurity.

Misogyny is also a factor. She leans into a lot of ditzy, simple, girly tropes that are largely written off by men and many women as shallow. Laura is really playing with them to show there actually is a lot of depth there. But you have to be willing to deconstruct her to see it.

Jester wants to actively bring joy to people's lives because she's afraid that she won't be wanted if she doesn't. So, she's cultivated this happy, mischievous mask to hide behind and she's trapped herself behind it. She doesn't even want to see herself without it.

Just as much as Fjord trapped himself behind the faux-Vandran mask until he had a breakdown. Or Beau trapped herself behind the no-fucks-given mask she's been working really hard to set aside. Or Caleb trapped himself behind his bandages and bum disguise until his cover was blown.

But Jester's mask is harder to see around. She seems open and carefree and happy. Almost everyone in the Mighty Nein wants to feel that way and they're invested in the aspirational illusion. They really want one of them to be okay because maybe then they could learn, too.

T: Full scene from Campaign 1 Episode 45

2:30:57 Vax: "How do you do it? You're risking your life as much as anyone in this group. You're almost dying every day. You're fucking smiling all the time. How do you do it?"

Liam: "I'm kind of asking as Liam to Sam, as well. But mostly as Vax to Scanlan."

Vax: "How do you do it? You almost died yesterday, as well. Or two days ago, fuck. Why do you do it?"

Scanlan, as if it's obvious: "Vax, I… I don't know. I mean, I just… I like you people okay. Everything before this was not as good. This is better, that's why. It's very simple. You had a shitty childhood, didn't you?"

Vax: "Yeah."

Scanlan: "You and the sister."

Vax: "Yeah."

Scanlan: "I think Grog had some troubles. We've all had our share of shit, before we all met. Now we're together. We're a family. This is better, that's how I smile. It's better than it was before. That's it."

Vax: "We're probably going to die in the next month."

Scanlan: "Yes, but it's fun while it lasts."

Vax looks at him in disbelief and bewilderment.

Scanlan gives a contented sigh.

Vax, dubiously: "Alright. I thought I might…"

Scanlan: "Glean some wisdom?"

Vax: "Yeah, but I'm just as confused as before."

Scanlan: "Listen, I'm older than you."

Vax: "How much older?"

Scanlan: "A bit. I've seen more than you have, and… it's all shitty, so it just depends on how you look at it. You can dwell on the shit, or you can just leave it behind in people's beds and keep going."

But of course, Scanlan couldn't do it forever. He couldn't actually just leave all that shit behind him. He couldn't laugh all of it off. He reached the tipping point where he was too scared and hurt and angry to keep going.

Beau's started to see Jester's cracks and say something, most notably in episode 45 (4:55:48) and 46 (1:25:15), but she doesn't seem know how to address it without Jester pushing the concern away and deflecting, and I think she's scared Jester will pull away from her if she presses the matter. Beau might have the best chance, though.

Caleb tried to talk to her In episode 42 (1:08:49), but the conversation derailed almost instantly. She did express her fear she would never see her mother again, and that she was unsure about her feelings towards Fjord or his towards her, but again the conversation turned to other things fairly quickly. Still, it was more than she'd really shared before.

Jester actually showed her vulnerability and insecurity to Fjord in episode 72. but he was too up his own butt focused on his own rapidly spiraling break down to really notice or address it. Hopefully he keeps it in mind and circles back now that he's pulled through it.

Campaign 2 Episode 72

2:49:51 Fjord: "I just feel like there's more out there. It's always more. Even Port Demali and before that, my world just got bigger and bigger and bigger, and more time goes on the more you realize there is and the more that we affect and the more we can be affected. And there's a part of me that wants to leave it all behind..."

Jester: "And just somewhere quiet and disappear, and hope that it never bothers you again?"

Fjord: "Yeah."

Jester: "yeah, I understand that."

Fjord: "I just don't think it will let me."

Caduceus might be able to help if he understood, but Jester is baffling to him.

Talks Machina for Campaign 2 Episode 50

0:51:24 Taliesin: "[Caduceus] hasn't figured out that Jester is an adult yet. He doesn't regard her as an adult. I mean, which is, he kind of, his whole thing with her is very childish and playful and is not really... [...] He hasn't figured out that she's probably got-- I mean, he's aware that there's other stuff going on, but he hasn't really gone looking for it yet, so... He's like, 'Aw, she's happy and fine. Good. Thank god somebody is.' And obviously that's not true. And he should know better, but he hasn't gone looking for it."

Dani: "He has bigger fish to fry at the moment."

Taliesin: "I mean, the angsty boys are very angsty, and they currently have one emo girl to deal with as well."

It appears from the last episode that Caduceus has finally figured out there's more going on with Jester and is trying to make up for what he didn't see before. He let her know he saw through her sadness. Maybe he'll be able to be someone she can come to when she's ready to talk.

Campaign 2 Episode 76

4:44:05 Caduceus: "You okay?"

Jester: "Me?"

Caduceus: "Yeah you."

Jester: "Oh yeah. I'm fine. I'm always fine."

Caduceus: "Well…"

Jester: "That's a lie."

Caduceus: "Nobody's always fine."

Jester: "That's a lie, Caduceus."

Caduceus: "You do a lot."

Jester: "Yeah."

Caduceus: "And I don't think you necessarily get as much credit as you deserve, as often as you should. You deserve… more pastries."

Jester, laughing: "Everybody deserves more pastries."

Caduceus: "Yeah, but you do."

Jester smiles sadly: "Thanks, Caduceus."

Caduceus: "Well, we'll be figuring out your Traveler Con soon enough, I'm sure."

Jester: "Yeah. We're gonna work- that's gonna be really cool, right?"

Caduceus: "You got a good crew for it, so…"

Jester: "Yeah."

Caduceus: "We're here for you."

Jester: "Thank you."

Caduceus: "Thank you. You've done… I don't even know how to tell you what this has meant."

Jester has been ignored in part because she seemed… not fine, but less of an immediate and impending disaster than the others. Now that things are settling down with everyone else, I think they're trying to do right by her and support her better. Time will tell if she lets them in.

No one in Campaign 2 is playing an easy character. No one is playing someone who's well adjusted and fine. No one has their shit figured out. At best they've learned pieces or ways of learning how to be more okay with the tumult. Jester is far come complex than she tries to appear.

Her arc is coming up soon and whatever happens will come with big growth and change for her. The big difference (or similarities) in how the stories of these two characters will play out will come down to how well their friends see behind the mask. Vox Machina didn't until it was too late. The Might Nein might be beginning to, and if they keep at it, that will make all the difference.

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#critical role #critical role meta #Jester Lavorre #Scanlan Shorthalt #critical role analysis #analysis

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multishipperlove · 4 years

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Chapters: 1/2 Fandom: Critical Role (Web Series) Rating: General Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Shaun Gilmore/Vax'ildan, Keyleth/Vax'ildan (Critical Role), Percival "Percy" Fredrickstein Von Musel Klossowski de Rolo III/Vex'ahlia Characters: Velora Vessar, Vax'ildan (Critical Role), Vex'ahlia (Critical Role), Percival "Percy" Fredrickstein Von Musel Klossowski de Rolo III, Shaun Gilmore, Keyleth (Critical Role) Additional Tags: Syldor Vessar's A+ Parenting, Family Issues, Polyamory, Polyamorous Character, Hiking, Dog Trinket (Critical Role) Summary:

The twins get to take care of their sister for a weekend, finally able to make good on some birthday promises. Not everything goes as planned, but they still have a great time together.

(Sequel to Dinner and Diatribes, should be able to stand on it's own)

Vax was used to being a light sleeper. It didn't take much to wake him, the quiet creaking of his door and the little bit of morning light poking through, in his otherwise darkened room, was definitely enough to rouse him again. Then he felt his mattress dip down slightly, and groaned as Vex laid a hand on his shoulder to shake him awake.

“I'm up,” he muttered, while also dragging his pillow over his head. “What do you want?”

He heard Vex sigh. “Well, brother. I, uh, was wondering if you'd like to go to the national park with me and Velora today?”

That was enough to at least make him sit up, just to give her a confused look. “What happened to Percy?”

After all the trouble they'd gone through to make sure that the day would go perfectly, he couldn't think of a good reason why Percy would suddenly decide not to come. Unless something had happened, of course, but if it was anything serious he was sure Vex would have said so by now.

And really, they'd spend weeks preparing for this weekend. After Vex and Percy had gifted Velora a coupon to visit the nearby national park with her for her last birthday, they'd still needed to convince their father to let it happen, and make sure everyone actually had some time to spare. In the end they'd even been able to get Syldor to let her spend the night, so they could have dinner with Keyleth and Shaun and maybe even take her shopping the next morning. Or at least to Gilmore's Glorious Goods, which the girl still had a coupon for as well.

All of this was the reason Vax had taken night shifts all week at the diner he worked at, so he could make sure he'd have this evening and the weekend off. And why, in turn, he was respectively tired now.

Vex bit her lip and heaved another sigh. “We got a call this morning, apparently Cassandra got super sick over night.” She saw the look on his face and was quick to reassure her brother. “Nothing life threatening, but she's hardly able to leave the bathroom. So there's no way she can get any official work done today, and Percy had to jump in for her.”

Vax was still not sure he completely understood. “But... Percy isn't even in Whitestone. Wasn't he sleeping over when I got home earlier?”

“He was,” Vex agreed. “He had someone pick him up thirty minutes ago and drive him to the Alabaster Lyceum, which is also where we need to pick up Velora in a bit.”

Vax hadn't missed his sister's use of the word 'we', but he also didn't argue. Even with less than three hours of sleep, he wouldn't miss out on spending a day with his little sister. “Alright, alright... I'll come,” he muttered, finally getting up. He stretched his arms over his head, letting out a huge yawn, and then started to search for fresh clothes. “Fucking rich people and their teleportation circles. Gimme twenty minutes.”

It took a bit longer than the promised twenty minutes, but eventually they both made it out of the door freshly showered and with their hiking gear packed up. And Trinket, of course, running behind them with way too much energy for Vax' taste.

“Keys,” Vex demanded, stopping in front of Vax' mini van. “You're way too tired to drive.”

“And too tired to argue with you,” he agreed, handing them over before getting settled in the passenger seat. His sister took another moment to get Trinket in the back. They'd long given up on laying out towels or blankets in the back, since it had never really helped with keeping the dog hair at bay. At this point they could just hope to never befriend anyone with a severe dog allergy.

Finally, Vex settled down in the driver's seat beside him, turned on the radio, and carefully backed out of the parking spot. Before they'd even left their neighbourhood, Vax was dozing off again.

Thankfully, his sister didn't wake him up again until they were parked right in front of the Travel and Communication Center of the Lyceum. But then he was roughly shaken awake and forced back out of the car. Trinket had to stay behind, with Vex promising him a quick return. That and a few treats made him lay back down without an issue.

On the way in Vax was still rubbing his eyes, so Vex took over the talking again. She could already tell from the look the receptionist was giving them that he knew they weren't the usual clientele. She had their paperwork ready though, and the years in Syngorn and around her father's friends helped her to keep up her smile and ignore the man's behaviour.

“Looks like everything works out,” the clerk eventually agreed, after giving her ID a much closer look than what either of them felt was necessary. Sending a minor through a teleportation circle on their own required some precautions though, even if she was the daughter of a high ranking diplomat. “Follow me, please.”

He got up, and after sharing a brief look and rolling their eyes, the twins followed. They were left in a small waiting room, with the reassurance that their charge would be brought to them as soon as she arrived. Luckily that didn't take long. Soon enough they could hear footsteps approaching, and as the door to their left opened they were faced with a very excited girl clutching on to her treasured owlbear plushie.

“Vax, Vex! You're here!” She immediately tore away from the guard who had apparently been assigned to her, and the man watched on with a smile as the twins got up and all three siblings smushed together for a group hug.

“Oh man, look at you,” Vax chuckled, once they'd all taken a step back again, and as he gave a playful tug on her hair. “I could have sworn you were smaller the last time we saw you.”

Velora grinned and leaned back against her sister instead, prompting Vex to wrap her arms around the small shoulders. “Mom says I'm growing like the weeds in our garden, too, but I haven't actually checked since my birthday.”

Vax was about to reply again, but the guard behind them cleared his throat. “I'll be off then,” he informed them with a smile. “Unless you need my help finding your way out?”

“No, no we'll be fine,” Vex assured the man. “Thank you so much.”

He replied with a brief nod and then left the three of them alone. Not wanting to waste any time, they headed out immediately. “So how was your trip?” Vex asked, just as they left the building. “Did you have to get up very early?”

“No, not really,” she told them, happily walking between her siblings. “But Dad was too busy to drop me off, he had a servant take me instead.”

“A servant? What about Devana, couldn't she have dropped you off instead?” Vax asked with a frown. He wasn't sure which teleportation circle she'd used in Syngorn, but if the location there was anything like the Lyceum it probably hadn't been the nicest experience to be there all by herself.

“She left earlier this morning to run errands, because he'd promised to take me,” Velora replied with a shrug. “She's probably going to be mad at him if he tells her.”

“Well, he deserves it,” Vex muttered. “But let's focus on you being here now, alright? Look, we got someone else who's very happy to meet you.” And with that she took the last few steps to the car and opened the trunk, finally releasing Trinket. The dog quickly jumped out, giving a few yaps of excitement as he circled them a few times, and did his best to wedge himself between them.

Velora grinned and kneeled down, seemingly delighted to let him slobber all over her face. So while those two were busy with greeting each other, Vex took the girl's backpack from her and put it in the back seat with their other gear.

“Alright, ready to go?” she asked finally, helping the girl to her feet again as she agreed. “We got a whole National Park waiting for us after all, so I hope you're ready.”

Velora looked between her two siblings, suddenly turning a bit confused. “Oh, okay. Is Percy waiting for us at the Park then? I thought he was coming with us?”

“Right, about that,” Vex sighed. “There was a bit of an emergency in Whitestone so he got called away, he wants you to know that he's really sorry though and he'll find a way to make it up to you. But hey, with a bit of luck, he'll be back by dinner.”

Velora deflated a bit, her happy mood from earlier not quite evaporating but definitely taking a hit. “Okay... that's fine though,” she said quickly. “He doesn't have to make it up to me, I know his work is super important.”

“But he made a commitment when he said he'd be here today, it's okay to be upset by that,” Vax told her softly. “Doing something else with you is the least he can do, even if it's not his fault that circumstances changed.” When she just shrugged at that and looked down he reached out again, ruffling her hair. “Either way, we'll still have a lot of fun today, I'm sure. Because guess what, I'm Percy's stand in.”

“You'll be coming with us, you're not just here to pick me up?” she asked, her smile growing once more. “That's pretty cool, I'll take that.”

“Hah, you hear that, Stubby? I'm cool.”

Vax did his best not to fall asleep again on their continued drive to the Park, instead engaging with the other two a bit more as they started talking in the car.

Velora told them about school, and how her friends had all been a little bit jealous that she got to leave on a weekend trip so close to their exams. In turn, the twins told her about some of the mischief they had gotten up to when still attending the same school, and that definitely helped with passing the time.

Before they knew it, the broad country roads had turned into narrow passages winding through dark woods. Sunlight filtered through the leaves above them, and it wasn't like Vex needed to turn on the car lights just yet, but the loss of light still gave their surroundings a bit of an eerie feeling. It was nice, in Vax' opinion, and he could see Velora looking out the window with a transfixed expression as well.

They passed the entrance a few minutes later, gladly accepting a map and some tourist information from the lady manning the booth at the moment. As Vex started to look for a parking lot that wouldn't cost them an arm and a leg, Vax took a closer look at the map.

“So, Stubby, did you have a route in mind already?” he asked, studying the various paths that lead through the park and their assigned challenge ratings. If it was just the two of them, they could have easily taken one of the longer routes, meant for more experienced hikers. But with Velora in tow, he was sure Vex had picked out something else.

“Yeah, I found one a while ago that should be really nice,” she replied, proving him right. “It allows dogs, as long as they're leashed, and has some nice observation points along the way.”

“Do you think we'll see any owlbears?” Velora asked immediately, as she leaned forward to wedge herself between the two front seats. Vax playfully pushed her back, grinning slightly when he was met with more resistance than he'd expected.

Vex was the one to actually give her an answer, while she finally found a parking spot she seemed to like. “You know I can't promise you that, but we'll just have to wait and see.”

If he was honest, Vax wasn't sure if he really wanted to run into one of these things. There was a reason most people were afraid of the beasts, and it had a lot to do with claws and sharp edged beaks. Not that there had actually been any owlbear attacks in the recent years, but it still sounded like an encounter he would prefer to avoid.

He kept that thought to himself though, and as they all finally got out of the car he turned to Velora with a cheery look. “Maybe we'll get lucky, who knows. But to see anything, we need to start moving. You got everything you need?”

The girl smiled back at him and nodded, taking her backpack as Vex held it out to her. “I got lots of water and food!”

“Great, I think we can cover the rest,” he chuckled, checking his own bag once more for the additional first aid kit, maps, his powerbank, and a heavy duty flashlight. Vex carried the same gear with her, just in case anything happened to one of their bags. She always had an old satellite phone with her as well though, which they'd never needed, but it was another one of those “just in case” things.

Vex also looked about ready to head into the forest, only waiting for the two of them to finally follow. But a last look up and down his little sister had Vax stop. “You got a jacket with you, right?”

She looked at him and frowned, then looked down at the cardigan she was wearing. “Yeah, this one,” she told him.

Vax resisted the urge to facepalm. “That's not really- you really don't have anything else with you?” he asked again. Syngorn rarely got really cold, not even in winter, but surely someone should have realized that sending her over in nothing but a cardigan would be a stupid idea. Well, apparently not.

“If we're in the shadows all day and sweating, there's no way that thing will keep you warm,” he finally explained, when he realized she still looked rather lost. “We need to get you a proper jacket first.”

He looked over to Vex, who had already started wandering a few feet away, no doubt 'hearing the call of the forest' or whatever she always did when they managed to get on one of these little outings. “Vex!” he called over, at least successfully getting her attention. “We need to hit the shop first. Velora needs a jacket.”

“What do you mean she-” She stopped in the middle of her sentence, and Vax shrugged as an answer. Sure, it sucked, especially because the shops in the park were all horribly overpriced, but they really didn't have much of a choice.

So they accepted the change in plans for what it was, and tried not to be too obviously annoyed about it. After all, it wasn't Velora's fault, and they could both see that she looked a bit uncomfortable now. Vex quickly laid an arm around her, tucking her closer again as they walked.

“Well, let's see it from the positive side, it just means we'll be hitting the souvenir stage early,” she joked, hoping to cheer her up a bit. “Let's have a look around, maybe you find something else you want to watch out for while we're out there.”

The shop was right next to the tourist information, and both buildings were- well, not exactly overrun, but definitely not empty, either. They pushed past a family with two little boys at the entrance, where Vex had to tie trinket down, and dodged some more people inside, just to make it to the clothes section.

There were a lot of t-shits and hoodies, all with big logos of the national park on the front, or simple nature prints. Cute, but not what they were looking for. Vax could already see Velora's eyes flitting from one thing to the next, catching on some things longer than others, and he tried to file all of it away for later. Finally, they found some jackets that actually looked to be functional.

“You wanna try some on?” Vex asked, trying to guess her sister's size as she held out a few. “Is your favorite color still green?”

“Yeah... are you- are you sure though?” Velora asked back. “I know they're expensive. You don't have to.”

“Nonsense, you need a jacket, so we'll get you one,” Vex assured her gently. “The last thing we want is for you to get sick today, or even just be cold all the time. Don't worry about it, okay?”

The girl didn't seem quite convinced yet, but at least she let Vex force her into a few of the jackets, until they found one that fit pretty well. She ended up picking the purple one over the green though, prompting Vax to make a joke about how she would need to raid Gilmore's wardrobe at some point.

They brought it up to the counter, and Vax distracted Velora by making fun of an incredibly tacky snowglobe while Vex paid. She swallowed a bit at the prize, but remembered that the nightshifts Vax had been pulling did not only mean he had the weekend off, but were paid a little bit better as well. Not much, but it made the extra charge more bearable.

Picking up Trinket again on the way out, they finally, finally,started walking towards the path Vex had picked out for them. White signs with blue dots marked the way along the trees, easy enough to follow, and the trail was still wide enough that they could easily ignore the few other people they met along the way.

It didn't take long before Vex started pointing things out to them, from small plants and mushrooms to all the different birds they came across. She even stopped a couple of times so they could get a closer look at something, and within the first two hours, Velora had already stuffed her pockets with all kinds of interesting looking rocks, small feathers, and other muck lying around.

Vax was sure that Syldor would be absolutely horrified if he saw her like that, and that made the whole thing even better. He grew a bit more quiet though, mostly letting the other two talk. His lack of sleep was catching up with him.

Eventually, they reached a small clearing with picnic tables set up, and a small river flowing near by. “Should we take our first break?” Vex asked, looking back to the two others. Receiving a shrug from Velora and a relieved, and maybe just the tiniest bit desperate, nod from her brother, she smiled slightly and claimed one of the tables for them.

Velora started to line up her little treasures on the wooden top, as Vex got out some of the lighter snack foods. She pushed one of the water bottles closer to her brother, who'd sat down and almost immediately rested his head on the table, looking like he was about to fall asleep again any moment.

“Velora, darling, do me a favor and clean your hands in the stream,” she told their little sister, hoping it would wash off the worst of the dirt. For everything else, they had hand sanitizer. While Velora did just that, Vex nudged her brother's shoulder. “Hey, you okay? Do we need to move a bit slower?”

“Hmmmnah. I'm good,” he muttered, giving her a weary smile. He sat up properly at least though, taking a few swigs from the bottle she'd offered him. “It's fun. And you know what, with you playing plant lexicon the whole way, I was thinking, next time we should take Keyleth.”

“So I can watch you two making gooey eyes at each other the whole time? Not a chance.”

“As if you and Percy are any better,” he huffed, amused. “And yes, maybe, but also for another reason. You know how much she knows about all that stuff as well, I'm sure it would be fun.”

Vex shrugged, finally settling down beside him. “Sure, we can ask her next time. I didn't know she was into hiking?”

He grimaced a bit at that. “Actually, not sure if she is. It's always just kinda been our thing, you know? I never asked. But she sure likes plants, so... I don't know, we don't have to.”

“Hey, doofus, slow down,” she chuckled, nudging his side again. “I really don't mind. Let's bring Gilmore and Percy, too, if they want to. We'll just be really disgusting and make it some kind of weird double date.”

She got a soft laugh in return, and Vax nodded. “Sure, that sounds good. I- yeah, I think I'd like that. Let's ask them, some time.”

Velora came back at that point, settling down again with a smile and accepting Vex' hand sanitizer without any protest. She was the first one done with her food as well, and then seemed to be patiently waiting for the twins to finish up. Vex turned to her eventually, giving her a bit of an amused look. “You don't have to sit here and wait, you know. Look around a bit, see if you can find more interesting stuff.”

“Are you sure?” Velora asked, frowning again. “Shouldn't I stay close to you or something?”

“As long as you stay where we can see you, it's fine,” Vax assured her with a shrug, while cutting his apple into continuously smaller pieces. He wasn't too motivated to eat. “Just, you know, don't do anything stupid.”

“Like what?”

“Like falling into the stream, for example. Or climbing trees. I'm pretty sure that's not allowed here,” Vex chimed in again, stealing one of the fruit pieces from her brother.

Velora still seemed surprised that they let her roam around on her own at all, and apparently feared that they would change their mind again. She was out of her seat faster than they could blink.

When she was already halfway back to the little river she turned around again, calling back to her siblings again. “Can I take Trinket?”

“He's not allowed to leave the path, sorry!” Vex called back, and watched as her sister nodded and then went back to the spot where she'd washed her hands earlier. Whatever it was she'd found, it seemed to be interesting enough to keep her attention for a while, and they were both able to finish their own rations without boring the girl too much.

Once back on the path, she told them about the fish she'd seen, and proceeded to describe them in as much detail as possible, asking Vex once more to identify each and everyone of them. In the few cases where Vex was stumped, Vax made up new ones, with increasingly absurd names and abilities.

He was in the middle of telling his sisters about the 'Red Striped Bloodsucker Fish' (ignoring Velora's question if fish even had blood), when Vex grinned and shook her head at him. “Vampirism, huh? I know a plant that helps against that.”

“A plant? No way, vampires aren't even real,” Velora protested, changing her focus from one twin to the other again.

“Oh they used to be, it's just that no one's seen one in a few decades,” Vex insisted. “That doesn't mean they don't exist anymore.” Seeing that the girl still looked unimpressed, she shrugged. “Alright, to be fair, glissfoil also has a lot of other uses. It can cure infections, helps against minor illnesses, and you can make very tasty tea out of it.”

“Which also happens to help against hangovers,” Vax mumbled, chuckling softly when Vex, expectedly, slugged him in the shoulder for his comment.

“She doesn't need to know that part yet. But yes, it's all in all just very neat. Would you like to look for some?” The last part was directed at Velora again, and she agreed easily enough. Vex described the plant, small, green leaves with a yellow-ish tint towards the edge, and they all started to keep an eye out for it.

They were walking uphill now, the path becoming more steep ahead of them and forcing them to slow down quite a bit, but they still made good headway. Still no glissfoil though. That didn't keep Velora from picking up more of her other miscellaneous items though, and when she finally ran out of space in her own pockets, the twins quickly offered to take some for her instead. The new jacket as well as her jeans were both streaked with dirt by now, not that she seemed to mind.

Halfway up the hill they took another break, Vex promising them that it wouldn't be much further now. And indeed, a good forty-five minutes later, they made it to the top. It really wasn't much more than a hill, but still offered a nice overview of the valley that now stretched out in front of them. Again, there was a bit of a clearing, and benches and tables cluttered around the centre of it.

But before Vax could suggest they settle down to enjoy the view a bit, Vex had already taken Velora by the hand and dragged her off to the edge, apparently very intent to show her something. So he sighed and followed suit, taking another sip from his water bottle.

“Alright, do you see the caves down there?” Vex asked, pointing them out for Velora as best as she could. “Right there, in the small dip between the cliffsides?”

Velora searched for it for a moment, but then nodded. “Yeah, yeah I see it. Why, what's in there? Can we go there?”

“No no no, that's definitely off the paths,” she replied quickly. “And even if it was allowed, it would probably be a bad idea. You know what kind of animal supposedly lives in those caves?”

The girl shook her head this time, but the look she gave Vex was very hopeful, so she seemed to have a pretty good idea at least.

Vex grinned. “Owlbears. Right there. It's just a few animals, who apparently broke away from the main herd a while ago for some reason, but ever since they've been sighted here, the path's become a lot more popular.”

As Vex had been talking, Velora's smile had already grown impossible wide. She stepped as close to the edge as she could now, staring at the entrance of the cave intensely. “Can we stay for a bit?” she asked quietly, as if already afraid to spook the animals away.

“Half an hour or so, sure,” Vex agreed. To Vax' surprise, she took a blanket out of her backpack. Which wasn't part of their usual luggage, which meant she'd been planning this, and why was he even surprised about this. But she put it down on the ground, leaving enough space for the three of them to settle down right there.

While they were waiting for something to happen, Vax got his knife out again from earlier, and started to twirl it around his fingers in an attempt to stay alert. Velora noticed it, of course, and watched him for a few moments with great curiosity.

“Can you teach me how to do that?” she asked finally. “You promised you'd teach me how to use the dagger, remember? The one you got me for my birthday.”

“Of course I remember,” he chuckled. “And yeah, I guess I can teach you how to do this, too... not with a knife though.”

“Why not?”

“Because I don't want to be responsible for any lost fingers, honestly. We'll start with a pen and you get to work your way up from there.” She still grumbled about that answer, but seemed satisfied enough by it. For now.

They spend a few more minutes looking out over the caves, but with no luck. Not a single owlbear reared it's head, and sitting on the ground was slowly getting cold. Velora was leaning against Vax by now, all but in his lap, and the journey seemed to be catching up with her as well. She looked a lot more tired by now then when they'd started their trip.

Before either of her siblings could fall asleep on her, Vex pushed them to move again. “Alright, I think that's enough time spend here,” she sighed, getting up and offering Velora a hand to pull her up. “Sorry we didn't see anything, darling.”

“It's fine, it was still really cool to see where they live,” Velora assured her, smiling again as she got to her feet and leaned over the edge just one more time. “Maybe we can come back one day, and have more luck then.”

“Yeah, why not. That sounds like a good idea,” Vax agreed, stifling a yawn. “Hey Stubby, how long until we're back at the car? Do we walk back the way we came?”

Vex shook her head and took a moment to study the map they'd taken with them. “It's a circular path, and the way back is way shorter. Shouldn't take more than an hour. You two ready to leave?”

She got two nods, so turned back around to lead the way again. Their little group was a lot more quiet on their way back though, a weary silence hanging over them, but at least it didn't diminish their fun in any way. Velora still looked around with an attentive eye, pointing out birds and other small critters when she saw them.

A good twenty minutes passed before she caught something a lot more interesting though. Right next to the path was a beaten track that had clearly been caused by some kind of animal, something big. The surrounding bushes and branches were damaged, showing that something had moved through them with little care.

Velora was the first there to investigate, and probably would have disappeared right into the forest had Vex not held her back. “What do you think did this? Do you think it's still here? Can it see us, do you think it's dangerous?” All her question came in quick succession, leaving Vex little time to answer.

Gently pushing her sister back towards Vax she ventured a few steps forward herself, trying to see if there actually was any danger to them. But it seemed like whatever had crossed the path here, it had done so a while ago.

“No, it's probably long gone,” she called back to the other two, turning around again to make her way back. Which was when she noticed them, lying on the ground just a few feet away from the path. A big, brown-ish feather, with black stripes all the way down, along with some smaller ones. Most of them were damaged in some way, but somehow, the big feather had remained unscathed. And she knew exactly what animal it came from.

Carefully picking it off the ground and holding it behind her back, she finally walked back to Vax and Velora. “Guess what I found,” she told her sister, grinning in the knowing way that only older siblings could pull off sometimes.

“What?”

“No, you have to guess,” she insisted, only seeming more amused when Velora rolled her eyes.

But the girl took the challenge, squinting slightly as if she was trying to see right through her sister. “Hmm... oh, you finally found Glissfoil!” She grinned widely, absolutely sure of herself and that she'd bested her sister in this somehow.

But Vex just shook her head. “Nu-uh. That would have been cool, too, I'll grant you that. But I found something way better.” Not wanting to torture her any longer though, she presented the feather, giving her a pointed look. “You know what this is from?”

It immediately got her an excited gasp, and with a gentle nudge from Vax Velora reached out, taking it into her own hands. “Wooow, this is so cool,” she whispered. “Do you think it's from one of the owlbears living in the caves?”

Vex nodded, briefly looking back to the spot where she'd found the feather. “We're not too far away, it's plausible. I hope that makes up a bit for not seeing one live.”

Velora nodded eagerly, still studying the feather closely. Then she looked from her new favorite possession to Vax, and seemed to get an idea. “Can you put it in my hair?” she asked, holding the feather out to her brother this time. “You know, like you sometimes do for Vex?”

“Oh... yeah, sure. C'mere,” he told her, pulling her a bit closer and turning her around, facing her away from him. “Stubby, you got a hairband?”

Vex didn't, but had no issue with taking out the one she was currently wearing, and Vax made quick work of the task in front of him. He produced the same trademark side-braid that was usually reserved for Vex, sure that she wouldn't mind, and then secured the feather behind one ear. It was a bit big, but all in all still looked very nice.

Velora was definitely happy, still brimming with excitement all the way back to the car. And despite the fact that she swore up and down that she didn't need anything else, the twins insisted on hitting the gift shop again before actually leaving. Velora ended up choosing a mug with, to no one's surprise, more owlbears printed on the front, and spend a few additional minutes fawning over a very nice selection of pocket knifes with Vax.

But before they knew it they were all back in the car, all the new souvenirs packed away in Velora's bag, and on their way home. It didn't take long either for a very slight snoring to start up in the car, both from the backseat and the shotgun position. They weren't even officially out of the park. But Vex didn't mind much, not even when Trinket joined her sleeping siblings halfway through. At least that way, no one could complain about her choice in music.

#critical role #cr1 #vox machina #vax'ildan #vex'halia #velora vessar #cr fanfiction #fanfiction #writing #mine #I didn't expect this to get so long #and it's not even done #long post

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araminia16 · 5 years

Text

Slow Growth (C4)

Chapter 3

Keyleth felt too exhausted both mentally and physically to do much more than soak in the bath as she contemplated everything that had happened in the past few days.

The victory of Raishan’s demise, the way she had taken the one thing the dragon prided so much and ground it into dust. As brilliant and cunning as she constantly reminded everyone she was the green dragon had died an idiot. No smarter than the lowest of the animals she looked down upon. Keyleth still hadn’t believed it worked.

Percy’s still form flashed in her mind, the way his innards spilled out of his belly onto the floor and the blood soaked into his coat and armor. The horror of it still gripped her heart coldly. And Scanlan. How Vax held him close on their way back, the ritual...and their travel to Vasselheim to bury the ashes of Senokir’s wife in the Abundant Terrace to honor her. The moral dilemma she faced with the Spire of Conflux. Still a little guilty about that one.

Scanlan’s awakening and the way he tore into them as if they didn’t love him like family. The way he abandoned them. Were they such awful people?

Especially so after meeting Taryon Darrington. She didn’t even know how to begin to dissect that man though his calling Vex a little elf girl certainly didn’t help him at all but his initiation was a bit fun in the end so that had to count for something.

Keyleth let the water around her cool and didn’t bother to try to heat it up again so instead rose up and used a towel to dry and a robe around her body after she dressed.

As she walked down the hall toward her room a strange noise caught her attention and she, despite her better judgement, followed it.

“Percy!” Vex’s voice echoed from a mostly open doorway. Low light flickered in the dark hallway and she approached carefully even though a little voice in her head warned her otherwise.

She wasn’t prepared for the sight that greeted her. Not at all.

Vex was naked but faced away from Keyleth’s gaze with her long hair unbound in waves down her back, her rounded bottom held by strong pale hands on either side. The young druid’s cheeks warmed as her gaze locked on exactly what they were doing. Vex sat with her knees parted on either side of Percy’s shoulders with her...parts situated over what looked like Percy’s mouth. Her friend seemed not to mind it in the least bit either.

His chest and arms pale and gleamed with lean muscle in the low light and Keyleth stared agape at the thin sheet covering his lower half with a sizable rise near the middle.

“Gods. Percy. There. You’re doing so well. Good boy.” Vex moaned out as she rolled her hips and Keyleth spotted the way her knuckles flashed white while she dug fingers into the headboard with stuttered breaths.

Percy, muffled, moaned and shifted under her as his hands tightened and Vex gave another cry, higher pitched, faster….

Keyleth came back to herself and stumbled back from the doorway breathless and heart racing, pounding in her chest. She could hear them still as Vex cried out his name again in the longest keen yet.

Keyleth couldn’t breathe and she was sure her face would catch flame any moment now. Her lower belly felt strange. Warmer than it ever had before and as if there was a pulse there she wasn’t aware of until just now. Between her thighs where usually she felt a pleasant warmth now it throbbed and burned and she thought of Vax. Then of the noises she had never heard before from Vex and the...thing they did. She thought Scanlan might have mentioned something about eating before. Did people really put their mouths there? Vex seemed to enjoy it.

Another flash of mortification pulsed through her as she fled to her room but stopped before she entered. Her face still felt too hot and her skin tingled strangely. Vax would know something was wrong. She couldn’t bear the idea of telling him what she had seen between Percy and his sister. No. Not going to happen. Maybe she would take a walk. A cool walk to calm down. And erase the images in her mind. What she wouldn’t give for a Modify Memory spell from...oh now she was sad.

“Kiki? What are you doing out here?”

She hadn’t heard him. Of course she hadn’t and now she was sad and felt funny and she didn’t know what to do. “Oh. Vax. Hey. Um. I’m just standing here outside our room for no reason at all.”

“I can see that. Did you get lost then?”

“No. Umm. I didn’t.”

His gaze narrowed on her, “What’s happened?”

“N-nothing. Nothing’s happened. I have no idea what you’re talking about. I just had a bath is all. Didn’t see anything or hear anything at all.” That wasn’t suspicious at all. He would totally see right through her. Her blush returned with a vengeance as her mind supplied visuals she could do without.

“Uh-huh. Well how about you come to bed then?”

“Sure. I can do that.” Keyleth nodded and let him bring her into the room.

Vax stared at her for a while longer. The redness to freckled cheeks, and the way she looked everywhere but at him made him want to go through the halls and find exactly what she hadn’t seen but he thought better of it. Instead he ushered her to sit on the bed while he fetched a comb and settled behind her to groom her shortened hair.

It was a sore spot of hers since it happened and he continued to look for bad ends to cut from her hair. The burns had healed up nearly without scarring much to their relief. At least he hadn’t been awake when she had fallen into the lava. He might have fainted from the sight and smell of her burning flesh.

“You don’t have to.”

“I want to. Let me take care of you, Kiki.”

“You’re sure you like it this way? It was so pretty when you braided it from before.”

“I’ll cut my own hair so we can match if you’d like.”

Keyleth jerked the comb from his grasp as she whipped around with a look of horror, “No. You can’t.”

Vax chuckled and kissed the tip of her nose before he turned her back around and continued his work on her short hair. “Well then stop saying such ridiculous things or I will. I like you. Love you even and I don’t care how long your hair is. I can still play with it.”

Keyleth smiled as he ran his fingers through the trimmed waves and skittered his fingers down her back after he finished. Another image of pale hands, strong and steady, flashed through her and she shifted in her seat while she imagined Vax’s hands instead. They were different, his fingers longer than Percy’s. She wondered how they would feel on her in that way.

“Copper for your thoughts.”

The whispered words caressed her sensitive ears while she was pulled from her fantasy when she gasped with reddened cheeks but didn’t answer and instead wrung fingers together.

“Alright. What do you think of our newest temporary member?” She obviously didn’t feel like talking about it and so he decided not to push the matter yet but the curiosity burned still within.

“He’s not Scanlan.” She mumbled out.

“Definitely not Scanlan.”

“Do you think he’ll be back?” Keyleth twisted a little length of hair in front of her ear nervously.

“I think he will. He just needs time.” Vax set down the comb and pulled her back to his chest to sit on his lap. “So. Are we really going to finish this quest of yours? Finally?”

“Yeah.” She nodded with more confidence than she truly felt.

He wrapped his arms around her middle and rested his forehead on her back. “Good.” He grinned. “At least it won’t be a dragon. I’ve had enough of those to last me a lifetime.”

“Me too.”

“You’ll do amazing at whatever trial they give you. You know that, right?”

“As long as I have you all with me, sure.”

“Even without us.” He kissed her back through the shirt and nuzzled his nose up to her neck and placed a chaste kiss just below her hairline. A shiver passed through her while goosebumps erupted on her back and arms. Vax only grinned and did it again. This time she breathed out a small laugh, then he did it again and again until she squealed with laughter and struggled to break his grasp but he held on just long enough to have her nearly out of breath. “Feel better?” He chuckled as she recovered on her side away from him.

“That was not nice.” But she did feel better and back to normal. The embarrassment at accidentally witnessed intimacy faded with his playful nature.

“I thought it was plenty nice. I could have done much worse than kiss you.”

Keyleth opened her mouth to answer before she blushed again and bit her lip. “I guess.” Is what she finally breathed out while he hopped up to use the adjacent washroom and lavatory sort of thing in the small room next to theirs. When he came back to bed she had the covers pulled up to her chin like always and he slid next to her. His body fit perfectly next to hers as the exhaustion caught up with the both of them to recover for the next days ahead.\

Chapter 5

#Keyleth #Vaxleth #Vax #Vax'ildan #Critical Role #Fanfiction #Rated M #Slow Growth #Perc'ahlia #Accidental Voyerism #Percy #Vex #Vax/Keyleth

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nicolewrites · 5 years

Text

heartstrings - iv

hey here’s a reminder that this was supposed to be a one-shot and it’s now 4 parts with part 5 on the way because i wrote too much again.

part i | part ii | part iii

Rating: T Genre: Romance Characters: [Vax’ildan and Keyleth] [Percival de Rolo and Vex’ahlia] Words: 6,990

Kiki @keylethashari has tagged you in a tweet: New Q&A up and we’re talking music! creds to @vexmachina @vaxmachina @burtreynoldsesq @thelumineers and others!! // CR1 Vaxleth+Perc’ahlia YouTuber/Musician/Celebrity AU

AO3

Vax came to feeling a tingling pain in his abdomen. At first, all he could manage was staring at the backs of his eyelids because everything felt heavy and sluggish. After a long moment, he managed to force his eyes open, only to be nearly blinded by bright fluorescent lights. He squinted against them for a moment before his vision adjusted and he was staring at a plain white ceiling.

His limbs felt unreasonably heavy and stiff. He shifted, trying to raise his arm, and he finally looked around. He was wearing a thin, flimsy gown covered by thin, stiff blankets. His left index finger was encased by a plastic tip and there was a rhythmic beeping to his left. Vax also noticed that there was an IV connected into his left wrist.

The shock hit him suddenly as the memories slammed to the forefront of his mind. The dull pain in his stomach throbbed again and Vax jerked his hand to press against his abdomen. The sudden movement was apparently broad enough to awaken the woman dozing in the chair next to his bed.

Vax had hardly noticed Vex before she jolted awake, startled eyes fixating on him as soon as they opened. “Vax!” she gasped. She leaned forward in the plastic hospital chair and touched his arm. “How do you feel?”

Vax swallowed. His throat was uncomfortably dry. “I was shot,” he muttered.

Vex licked her lips, looking unnerved. “Yes,” she agreed. “And it scared the crap out of everyone.” She punched his arm.

“Ow!” he cried, glaring at her as he rubbed his shoulder. “What was that for?”

Vex folded her arms. “Don’t ever scare me like that again.”

The pain in his stomach pulsed again and Vax frowned, leaning back against the pillows. “How long have I been out?”

“All night and,” she paused, checking her phone, “most of today. They brought you into surgery almost immediately when you got here.”

Vax nodded slowly. “Sunday afternoon then, right?”

Vex nodded. “I should call your nurse. They should know you’re awake.”

Just as she stood to leave his side and the room, the door opened. A kind looking woman in scrubs who was likely his nurse stepped into the room, followed by someone that Vax recognized. His heart leapt into his throat as Keyleth followed the nurse in. She looked exhausted and worried, but as beautiful as ever. Her face was clear of make-up and she was wearing a simple sweater and jeans, but she was still radiant.

Her eyes lit up as they made eye contact and her lips curled into a relieved smile. Vax felt his own features twitch into a matching one, but the nurse quickly stepped to his bedside and broke his line of sight with Keyleth.

“Good to see you awake,” the nurse said politely. “How are you feeling?”

Vax shrugged awkwardly. “Okay, all things considered. I guess,” he paused, “I’m not sure how much is me and how much is the drugs.”

The nurse chuckled. “You’re on a fairly low dose, Vax’ildan, don’t worry. I can see about getting you something to eat and finding Dr. Carlisle to check up on you.”

Vex stood from her visitor’s chair. “I’ll handle the food. If he’s alright to have non-hospital food that is.”

The nurse nodded. She turned to look back at Vax. “You’re a very lucky young man. The shot managed to miss all of your vital organs. It did some tissue damage and will take time to recover from, but all things considered, it wasn’t a bad place to take a bullet. He’s free to eat almost anything, but softer foods would be better so not to agitate anything.”

Vex smiled. “Of course.” She looked down at Vax and then across the room at Keyleth who had resorted to standing awkwardly by the door. “I’m sure that Keyleth would be more than happy to keep you company while I go out and pick something up. I’ll let the others know you’re awake too.”

With that, Vex swept out of the room and after several brief moments of assessments, the nurse followed, leaving Vax and Keyleth alone. She hovered by the door, shifting from foot to foot nervously. Vax exhaled slowly and gestured for the chair next to the bed. Keyleth bit her lip, but walked towards it, sinking into the seat Vex had vacated.

“Are you alright?” they asked at the exact same time.

Keyleth’s eyes widened and her lips parted in surprise. “Vax!” she exclaimed. “You were just shot! Why on earth are you asking if I’m alright?”

Vax laughed shortly. “Well, that man had been bothering you before he decided to put a bullet in me. Plus, I did pass out so I don’t know what happened afterwards.”

Keyleth’s expression softened. She took Vax’s hand in both of hers. “Don’t worry. Grog took him down almost immediately and the police were quick to respond. You were the only one who got hurt.”

Vax nodded. “Okay,” he replied slowly. “And,” he made eye contact, “I feel surprisingly okay.”

Keyleth exhaled in relief and squeezed his hand again. “I’m so relieved. You really scared us. I never thought there would be that much blood.” She trailed off, her eyes looking haunted and sad. “I thought we were going to lose you.”

“Didn’t Vex tell you? I’m much too stubborn to die.”

His response drew a tentative smile from her as she relaxed into the situation a bit more. “Regardless, I’m so glad you’re doing alright.”

Vax nodded. “Me too. Though I’ll admit, I have always fantasized about fainting in the arms of a beautiful person.”

Keyleth gave him a short look. “Idiot.”

To his complete dismay, it was almost two full weeks before the doctors felt comfortable enough to discharge him. Even then, they scheduled regular checkups and wanted him to go to physical therapy to regain core strength that the injury had destroyed. Vax was just glad to be leaving. Even with constant visits from Vex, Keyleth, and their other friends, he had been getting stir crazy.

Gilmore had offered to drive Vex and Vax back to their apartment from the hospital and Vex was currently wheeling Vax towards the side exit of the hospital. Apparently, somehow the news had leaked that someone big was getting released today, so paparazzi had gathered at the front of the Cedars-Sinai Medical Center. The staff had graciously allowed the twins to exit through a usually employee only entrance as to avoid such deals while security attempted to control the crowd of reporters.

Once outside, a nurse and Vex helped him stand from the wheelchair. Vax grit his teeth and walked towards the car. Gilmore was already there, holding the door and Vax nodded gratefully to him.

Gilmore pulled away from the hospital very shortly after and they were headed home. Vex and Gilmore struck up a casual conversation and Vax pulled out his phone, unlocking it.

[Vax] headed home, finally

[Keyleth] oh yay!! i’ll come by tomorrow, ok?

[Vax] please do, i think i’ll go crazy otherwise.

[Keyleth] :P

He switched out of the text app and his finger hovered over Twitter. He had avoided the platform for the entirety of his hospital stay and it was morbid curiosity that caused him to open the app now. A news tweet was the first thing to catch his eye.

E! News @enews • 2 hours ago

Half of Youtube pop-folk duo #VoxMachina being released from hospital today after suffering gun-shot wound during fan meet-and-greet two weeks ago.

Vax sighed. He knew that the news would have broken somehow, explaining the crowd of reporters and celebrity watchers, but he was hoping it hadn’t been by a major celebrity news source. He switched to his page and saw several thousand mentions in tweets of people wishing him a swift recovery and thousands of new followers.

He searched up Vex’s username and saw that she had been conspicuously silent for the last two weeks. Her latest tweet was a retweet.

Vex @vexmachina • Aug 14

icymi :/ | Gunshots fired at Vox Machina event, sources report 1 seriously injured - cnn.com

The tweet was attached to a link from the CNN website reporting on the incident. Vax swallowed hard and left Vex’s Twitter. He was left staring at his own newsfeed and his finger drifted towards the compose button. He clicked it.

Vax @vaxmachina • Just Now

Headed home. Privacy for myself, family, and friends is appreciated at this time. #VoxMachina

Vex’s phone chimed as he tweeted and she paused her conversation with Gilmore to check the notification. She turned in her seat and made eye contact with him. “That was tasteful and surprisingly well-done,” she said after finishing reading it.

He shrugged. “Necessary.”

She sighed. “Unfortunately.”

True to her word, Keyleth buzzed the apartment at 10 the next morning. Vax let her up and opened the door as she arrived. He was walking with the support of a cane to compensate for his pained abdomen. She slid inside the apartment and immediately linked their arms together so that she could support some of his weight.

Together they walked to the couch where they sat side by side. Keyleth was studying him intently, but before either of them could say anything, Vex swept into the living room. Vax’s head snapped to his sister as she looked between him and Keyleth, assessing the situation.

“Hello Keyleth,” Vex greeted politely after a moment.

“Hi Vex,” Keyleth replied.

Vex’s gaze turned to Vax. “I’m assuming she can babysit you while I’m out?”

He rolled his eyes. “I’m not a child.”

She folded her arms and raised a perfectly manicured brow. “But at the moment you are something of an invalid, aren’t you?”

Vax scowled, but Vex just winked and strode into the kitchen. Vax and Keyleth sat awkwardly for a long moment. Vex reappeared in the room, now wearing a coat and she headed for the front door. She gave the pair one last look.

“Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do,” she advised teasingly.

Keyleth flushed bright red and Vax hurled a pillow from the couch at the door, but Vex managed to dodge by ducking out the door, laughing. He sighed and turned to Keyleth. Her cheeks were painted dark pink and she was looking anywhere else in the room except at him. He chuckled and gently touched her arm.

“Kiki, she’s just teasing.”

Keyleth turned back towards him and she bit her lip. “I know.”

They fell back into silence for a moment. Vax inhaled sharply and stood from the couch. Slowly, he made his way across the room to where his guitar sat in its stand. He turned back to the couch, returning to his seat next to Keyleth as she watched him cautiously. He studied her face for a long moment.

He strummed an A flat chord followed by a C minor, a B flat, and an E flat. Her eyes widened marginally and she leaned forward almost unintentionally.

“You’re afraid to need someone, ‘cause you’ve been burned, you’ve been burned, you’ve been burned,” Vax sang quietly.

Keyleth’s breath hitched as she listened to him sing. Vax sang the first verse softly, managing to only stumble on a few of the chords. He made it partway through the chorus before Keyleth’s hands reached for his and stilled them on the guitar. Vax broke off and looked at her. To his surprise, her eyes were filled with tears.

“What is this song?” she asked, her voice barely above a whisper.

“It’s called Temporary Love. Ben Platt, the guy who played Evan Hansen, released his album earlier this year.” Vax inhaled slowly, turning one of his hands to hold hers carefully. “I have to admit it took me most of Friday night after Pike left to figure it out.”

She laughed and wiped her eyes with her free hand. “Vax, why are you so good to me? I pushed you away and you almost died and you’re still here singing to me.”

“Kiki, come on,” he mumbled gently squeezing her hand.

She gently pulled her hand back, letting it rest in her lap. “Well, the song was accurate enough. I’m terrified of love, Vax.”

He shifted, lowering the guitar to the floor before turning back to her. “Keyleth, does this have something to do with your mother?” She inhaled sharply and gave him a confused look. Vax gave a small half-smile in return. “Pike mentioned it, but said I should ask you about it.”

Keyleth let out a slow sigh. “My mother vanished on a work trip. One day everything was great, and the next day she was gone. My father was devastated.” She paused shaking her head. “I’ve never seen anyone that broken before. I missed my mother too, but the way my father reacted was terrifying. The thought of doing that to someone, or,” she made eye contact with him, “someone doing that to me, is the most terrifying thing I’ve ever felt.”

Vax leaned forward, taking both of her hands. “Keyleth, I’m so sorry about your mother. I can’t promise that nothing will ever happen, but I can promise I would never leave you unless there was no choice in the matter.”

She closed her eyes and frowned. “You got shot and you almost died and I was so terrified. I felt like my father in that moment and after I realized how stupid I was being since losing you still hurt anyways, even if I couldn’t let myself,” she paused, unable to finish the sentence.

Vax squeezed her hands. “I’m right here,” he urged gently.

She opened her eyes and he saw a new resolution there. “I’m a mess, Vax. I’m insecure and scared and naive. This won’t be easy.”

He smiled gently. “It’s a damn good thing that I learned some persistence in London then, isn’t it?”

Keyleth smiled and it was like sunlight breaking through the crowds. Vax had half a mind to lean forward and kiss her again when the apartment phone rang insistently. Keyleth jumped, her head whipping to where it sat on the coffee table. Vax rolled his eyes and picked up the phone.

“Hello?”

“Stringbean! Scanlan and I were wondering if you wanted some company since you’re finally at home and we haven’t seen you in days!” Pike’s voice was cheerful and startling because Vax had definitely been expecting Vex, not Pike and Scanlan.

“I’m, uh,” he paused glancing at Keyleth, “Keyleth’s here,” he said finally.

“Oh!” Pike exclaimed. She said something away from the receiver for a moment. “We can come back later?”

Keyleth was smiling and she shook her head at him. Vax chuckled. “You’re already here, might as well come up. We can see if we can get Vex, Percy, and Grog here later too maybe.”

Vax heard Scanlan laugh in the background. “If we’re getting the whole gang together we ought to hang out at my house there’s much more space.”

“Shut up, Scanlan,” Pike replied. “We’ll be right up, thanks Vax!”

Though he was a bit annoyed at Pike and Scanlan for crashing what could have turned into a romantic moment, he was glad to see their faces as they swept into the apartment armed with cheap takeout and a variety of boardgames. The four of them hung out and laughed and yelled over friendly competitions for several hours before Vax’s phone rung.

He motioned for them to hold his turn, but Keyleth just laughed and snagged one of his cards. He elbowed her and she giggled again.

“This is Vax,” he said into the phone, not even stopping to see who was calling him.

“Hello, Brother, you wouldn’t happen to be with Pike and Scanlan would you?”

He felt his lips twitch into a smile as he juggled the phone and swatted Scanlan’s hand away from stealing another of his cards. “I am, yeah. We’re all at the apartment.”

“Well I’m texting you an address and you all better make your way there: Percy is having everyone over and I’m ordering expensive Indian food.”

Vax grinned. “Sounds great.”

Dinner and their evening turned into a giant clusterfuck of shouting and laughing and storytelling amongst the seven of them. Vex, Vax, and Percy traded good memories of England while Pike and Scanlan were roped into telling the story of their meeting which somehow involved much more pudding than made sense. Grog was happy to chime in on that part to make fun of Scanlan. Keyleth revealed that she had met Percy near Whitestone when their publicists had tried to set them up, but that only resulted in Zahra and Kashaw being introduced to each other.

Vax learned more about his friends than he shared, but he felt relaxed and though there was the occasional twinge of pain from his side as one could expect, he was sandwiched between Vex and Keyleth on the couch as they laughed for hours and hours. It was almost weird, the group of friends that had developed, but it felt far more natural than he could have expected even though most of them were completely different genres of YouTubers, or not in the business at all in Percy’s case.

It was almost two in the morning when Percy finally kicked everyone out. Grog immediately headed for the gym despite the odd hour and Pike and Scanlan exchanged an unreadable look before calling an Uber together to Scanlan’s place. Vax gave Pike a curious look, but she just shook her head and wrinkled her nose―they really were just friends.

Vax and Keyleth stood alone on the sidewalk outside Percy’s apartment building, Vex having elected to stay the night with her kind-of-sort-of boyfriend. Keyleth lived nearby and was apparently planning on walking home, but she insisted on waiting with Vax until his Uber arrived. Vax, as always, found himself drawn to watching her.

The city lights combined with the bright full moon bathed her skin and made her glow. She was going on about something or another, but Vax was still distracted by the raw honesty she had shared with him earlier. Finally, when he couldn’t bear his own idleness any longer, he slid his hand into hers and tugged it towards him.

Keyleth’s words stopped flowing abruptly as she turned to him, curious. “Everything alright?” she asked. “You’re not in pain or anything?”

Vax smiled. “I mean I love you so much it hurts but I’m pretty sure that’s not what you meant.”

Instead of panic and fear like he might have expected weeks ago, a shy smile curled up her lips and she squeezed his hand. “Not exactly,” she replied gently.

Vax exhaled slowly and took a leap of faith. He leaned in and Keyleth met him halfway, her hand dropping his so she could rest hers on his face as she kissed him back. The kiss was slow and unhurried, but a familiar warmth curled deeply in Vax’s stomach as he let his arms wind around Keyleth’s waist as he pulled her closer.

She was the one to deepen the kiss, her arms sliding around his neck as she pressed them together even more closely. After a long moment, she pulled back, her breaths deep and heavy. There was a spark in her eyes that made Vax’s ears redden, but Keyleth didn’t step out of his personal space, keeping her arms around him.

“How are you feeling?” she breathed out slowly.

Vax smiled idly. “Fine. A little confused as to why you stopped though.”

Keyleth blushed under his heavy gaze. “I didn’t want to hurt you,” she admitted quietly.

Vax lifted a hand to trace her jawline. “You couldn’t even if you tried.”

Her lips twitched into a small, shy smile. “Your Uber is coming.”

“I’ll cancel it.”

“Vex won’t be expecting you?”

“She’s with Percy. You don’t really think she’s going home tonight, do you?”

“Come home with me?”

“You don’t even need to ask.”

The next morning, Vax woke up in a bed that was decidedly not his wearing decidedly less clothes than he would normally. There was a dull throbbing pain from his abdomen and he took several deep breaths to try and soothe his body before he attempted to sit up. He propped himself up against the pillows and studied the room.

In the events of the night before he hadn’t paid much attention to the room, but as he looked around now he was able to appreciate it fully. There were two large windows on one side covered by gauzy curtains that did very little to block out the bright LA sunshine. It was similar to Keyleth’s apartment in that it was decorated with artistic, bohemian decorations and many, many small potted plants and succulents. Her furniture was all the same wood tone and the canopy above her bed was a dark blue cloth peppered with white dots that looked suspiciously like a constellation map.

In looking around, he woke up more fully and was able to smell coffee and what was probably breakfast coming from the other room. He rolled his shoulders and swung his legs off the bed. Locating his pants was fairly simple, but the grey Slayer’s Take shirt he had been wearing was nowhere to be seen. He ignored that fact and made his way out of the bedroom into the rest of the apartment.

All the blinds were open and sunlight streamed in through Keyleth’s many, many windows. Music was playing at a low volume from the kitchen and Vax followed it and the scent of coffee into the kitchen. His first glance of Keyleth stole his breath away.

Her red hair hung around her chin, turning copper from the sunlight and she was shimmying along to the song that was playing. The next thing he realized was that he couldn’t find his shirt in Keyleth’s bedroom because she had taken it and it really wasn’t doing his mind any favours since it barely covered more on her than it did on him. Vax felt his lips curl into a smirk as he crept forward and let his arms encircle her from behind, pulling her back against him.

Keyleth squeaked in surprise, but she relaxed when she realized that it was just Vax. “You are entirely too sneaky for your own good,” she scolded. “Especially for an injured man.”

Vax pressed a kiss to the nape of her neck humming softly. “Injured perhaps only because not only did I wake up alone, but you seem to have stolen something of mine.” His hands drifted to her waist, thumbing at the stolen shirt.

Keyleth turned in his grip so that they were face to face. Her cheeks were completely red and she looked nervous. “You’re okay though?”

Vax smiled. “Of course.” He pressed a chaste kiss to her lips and finally felt her smile against him. “Are you?”

She hummed. “Best I’ve been in a long time.” She paused, biting her lip. “Thank you,” she murmured. “For not letting me be afraid and for pushing it,” she elaborated after a moment.

Vax laughed softly. “You’ve met me, right? Vex and I, we don’t know when to quit.”

She kissed him gently again, her hands drifting up to his shoulders. “I’m more grateful than you know.”

Vax tipped his head and pressed a kiss to her neck just below her ear. “I think I have some idea,” he teased and Keyleth’s breath hitched.

Hours later, Vax finally left Keyleth’s place and made it to his physical therapist’s appointment. After two hours of pain and grueling exercise, he was dismissed and he headed home, desiring a shower. Vex still wasn’t home at the apartment, but Vax didn’t think anything of it―she was likely just with Percy still and it wouldn’t be the first time this had happened.

He showered with only minor difficulty and was on his way to the dedicated office space to fiddle on his guitar when his phone buzzed with a text.

[Shaun] Does Mr Popular have time for a drink tonight?

Vax smiled faintly at the screen before typing out his response.

[Vax] For you? Anytime, anyplace.

[Shaun] Raven’s Rook, 8?

[Vax] I’ll be there.

Gilmore didn’t reply again, but Vax redirected himself to his room to put on clothes decent enough for a meeting and a drink with his close friend. Two hours later, he was calling an Uber to get to the pub.

The place was fairly crowded, but no one seemed to give him a second glance, despite his recent publicity, and he spotted Gilmore at a small table in the back corner. Vax made his way over and sat down across from his old friend. Gilmore glanced up over his pint of what Vax was sure was something local and gave him a wide grin.

“Hello stranger,” Gilmore greeted, his low voice rumbling warmly in his chest.

Vax could still remember when he got horribly flustered whenever Gilmore used to flirt and now it felt incredibly natural. “Shaun,” he greeted.

“How is the recovery going?”

Vax shrugged. “Therapy is a bitch of course, but I have good people looking out for me like you and Vex and Kima and Allura.”

“And Keyleth,” Gilmore added.

Vax blinked and raised an eyebrow. “What?”

Gilmore chuckled. “Come on, Vax, you forget that I know what it’s like to be on the receiving end of those looks.” Vax bit the inside of his cheek, waiting for Gilmore to continue. Gilmore smiled though this one was slightly more bittersweet. “I won’t say I’m not a little disappointed, but it wasn’t the right time for either of us I don’t think.” Vax’s brow furrowed and Gilmore waved a hand. “Vax’ildan, that girl looks at you like you’re her lifeline and I know the feeling is the same. I’ll be fine.”

Vax sighed. “That doesn’t mean I’m not allowed to care, does it?”

Gilmore chuckled. “I would be horrified if you didn’t.”

Vax traced a finger over a particularly interesting swirl in the wood of the tabletop. “Gilmore, you’ve always been such a good friend to Vex and myself. I don’t know where we would be without you.”

Gilmore sipped his drink. “Probably still making really terrible coffee while pretending that you two didn’t have the kick ass talents you do have.”

Vax chuckled. “So even though you’ve heard all of our songs already, will you still be picking up a copy of our album when it releases?”

“Vox Machina’s debut album? The very same Vox Machina who I pushed to even launch their career?” Gilmore smiled slyly. “I had better be getting an autographed copy in the mail.”

Vax laughed and extended his hand for a handshake. “How about an in-person delivery instead?”

Gilmore firmly shook Vax’s hand. “Sounds agreeable.” He paused once more, giving Vax an appraising look. “Don’t let Keyleth go, alright? I can only have lost to the best and, Vax, she’s the absolute best of you all.”

Vax smiled. “I have no intentions of letting her go, don’t worry.”

Vax and Keyleth got dinner at Melora’s on Friday. They had elected to let Uvenda surprise them with their meals, and the food was as delicious as ever. The dinner felt easy and natural and Keyleth held his hand across the table any time he wasn’t using his hands.

“The album release party is coming up, isn’t it?” Keyleth asked as they were waiting for their bill.

Vax nodded. “Saturday night next week at Whitestone’s head office. Are you looking for an invitation?”

She leaned forward and smiled. “Only as a plus one,” she teased.

He chuckled. “Naturally.”

Before he could say anything else, both his and Keyleth’s phones went off in unison. He raised an eyebrow and picked it up. His lockscreen was filled with Twitter notifications and he cringed.

“This can’t be good.”

Keyleth pressed her lips together before glancing around the restaurant. She turned back to him and showed him the screen of her phone.

Keyleth is our Queen @queenkikiashari • 9 minutes ago

SHE’S AT MELORA’S ON A DATE THIS IS NOT A DRILL. Hand-holding has happened, but I can’t get a shot of his face!!

Vax shook his head. “They never quit do they. Come on, I’m sure Uvenda can let us disappear out the back again.”

Keyleth slid her phone into her purse and led the way to the back. Uvenda grumbled something about them taking advantage of her love for Keyleth before she let them slip out the back. Vax had tried to argue for the bill, but Keyleth hadn’t heard a word of it, insisting Uvenda charge her for the full price.

They stepped out into the alley and Vax looked up at the steadily darkening sky. Keyleth slid her hand into his and pulled him forward.

“A little different from the last time we were here, isn’t it?”

Vax smiled. “Yeah, well, last time I had no idea how in love with you I was.” Keyleth blushed and Vax dropped her hand, stepping back. He held up his hands like a camera and framed her against the setting sun. “Give me a moment to capture this moment, will you?”

She shook her head. “You’re silly.”

Vax paused, reaching for his phone. “If it’s okay, I would really love to share this view though.”

Keyleth’s lips parted in surprise, but after a moment she nodded. “If you’re okay with that.”

Vax smiled widely, opening the camera app. “More than okay.”

Keyleth turned so it was her rear profile in shot as she looked up at the sky. She was mostly darkened by the sun, but with the buildings around her and the sky lit up with deep purples and oranges, it was a beautiful shot. He admired it for another moment before he composed his tweet.

Vax @vaxmachina • Just Now

The best view in the house. | at Melora’s Garden

Replies, likes and retweets poured in almost immediately as it wasn’t hard to figure out who was in the photo. His phone buzzed relentlessly and he wanted to ignore it, but it chimed with a text so he paused to open it.

[Vex] very smooth.

[Vax] I like to think so

Keyleth was smiling at him and Vax reached out to tangle their fingers together. “Feeling up for a night of adventure?”

By the time the album release party was half over, Vax’s hand was actually starting to hurt from signing so many CD cases. He didn’t even know that many people still bought physical copies of albums. There were people everywhere in the Whitestone office and everyone was dressed to the nines.

Vex had managed to shove him into a navy blue tuxedo that complimented the deep blue dress with the plunging neck she had procured for herself. Zahra and Cassandra had applauded their coordination so Vax had given his sister credit where it was due. She was currently off schmoozing some of Whitestone’s investors, arm linked in Percy’s.

Vox Machina’s cover of Thinking Out Loud was playing through the sound system as people swayed on the makeshift dance floor and Vax leaned against the wall, watching intently. From his position he could see Zahra in a head-turning red dress with Kashaw and another pair that almost surprised him. He knew that it should not have been really surprising, but there was something still a little shocking to see Pike’s head resting atop Scanlan’s shoulder.

Vax presses a knuckle against his lips to hide his smile. With the way that Scanlan was looking at Pike and the fact that Pike had been so kind and supportive of him, Vax wondered if it was time to pull the blindfold off of Pike. His gaze finally skimmed past his friends and he caught sight of Allura dancing with a reluctant Kima, and just on their other side was Keyleth, a glass of champagne clutched in her hand as she chatted politely with some Whitestone executive.

“Boo!” came a voice to his left.

Vax spun, coming face to face with his smirking sister. “Jesus, Vex’ahlia, when did you learn to sneak like that?”

She jabbed her finger against his arm. “I learned from the best.”

He scowled and leaned back against the wall, slightly turned towards her. “Need something, Stubby?”

She shrugged. “Honestly I just wanted to talk to you. We’ve both been so busy,” she said. Vax caught her gaze drifting to where Percy was speaking with Cassandra.

Vax tipped his head. “How is he?”

“Surprisingly better about this whole thing than I am,” she replied carefully.

“How are you?” he asked instead.

Vex turned her eyes back to him. “I would love a glass of champagne, but other than that, I’m doing really well.”

Before Vax could comment on her alcohol craving, she waved him off.

“Don’t worry, I am sticking to water.”

He nodded. “I’m proud of you, Vex.”

Before Vex could reply, Cassandra had materialized in front of the two of them. She was wearing a perfectly tailored suit and her eyes were glinting in excitement. Vax raised an eyebrow and Vex crossed her arms.

“It’s time for you two to give a toast.” Cassandra looked over her shoulder towards the front of the room. She glanced back, a little more tentative. “We also have the equipment if you would like to perform. Of course,” she cast Vax an extra glance, “I understand if you don’t feel up to it.”

Vax shook his head. “We’re here to celebrate our music, right? Might as well give them something of a show right, Stubby?”

Vex rolled her eyes. “I’ve got nothing, so you had better have an idea.”

Vax held out his arm, smirking. “Of course I have one.”

“Then let’s go,” she replied.

Vax guided Vex up to the front of the room, following Cassandra. Cassandra pulled two flutes of bubbling liquid off of a tray and offered them to the twins. Vax accepted his immediately, but Vex hesitated. Cassandra smiled kindly.

“They’re actually both cider since you’re performing, I don’t want to get you too drunk.”

Vex chuckled and accepted the glass. “Brilliant.”

Cassandra smiled in response and reached for her own glass, also picking up a slim metal stirring rod. She clicked the rod against the glass several times and waited for the crowd to come to attention. Finally, a relative silence fell over the room.

Cassandra smiled widely at the crowd. “Good evening everyone! On behalf of Whitestone Records, I would like to thank everyone for being here tonight in support of Vox Machina’s debut album. Now, I’m sure no one wants to hear me talk for hours, so I’ll pass it off to our guests of honour: Vex’ahlia and Vax’ildan.”

Cassandra swept a hand towards the twins and Vax felt the eyes of every person in the room fall upon him. He froze momentarily, a sudden, uncontrollable fear stopping all possible words from leaving his mouth. Fortunately for him, Vex had always been better around crowds. She tugged on their still linked arms and gave the crowd a wide, open smile.

“Thank you to everyone for coming tonight. Vax and I have been working towards this for quite some time now and we’re honoured to see it come to fruition. I want to extend some thanks to Cassandra and the team here at Whitestone for believing we had it in us and for working tirelessly in the studio and the office to ensure that we received only the best,” Vex said, her gaze sweeping across the onlookers.

Vax steeled himself. “To all the supporters we’ve had since the beginning when we were just two kids with a YouTube channel and a dream, we’re grateful. Especially Shaun, Allura, and Kima―none of this would have ever existed without you. To the others who we met along the way, we are stronger with your support and we thank you for all you’ve done for us.” Vax’s eyes found Keyleth in the crowd and she gave him a bright smile. Any remaining nerves vanished entirely.

Vex nudged him. “To Vax, my brother,” she lifted her cider flute, “who’s heart is entirely too big for his chest.”

“And to Vex, my sister,” he replied, “who pushes us all to be better and bolder than ever before.”

“To Vox Machina!” Cassandra cheered, raising her glass in the final toast.

The crowd echoed her sentiment cheering loudly. Vax bumped his glass lightly against Vex’s and took a sip. The room was abuzz with energy and passion and warmth curled in his stomach. All these people were here to celebrate him and Vex’s passion project. A project which he hoped could be the first of many. If he’d ever thought that the side-project YouTube channel that Gilmore had insisted upon would have evolved into this, Vax would have thought himself entirely insane. Instead, he was proud and happier than he’d been in a long, long time.

“Come on, Vax, let’s give these people a show,” Vex said in his ear as she tugged him back to a makeshift stage with two microphones, two stools, and an acoustic guitar on a stand.

Vax instantly picked up the guitar, letting his fingers find the frets and strings like it was the most natural thing in the world. He positioned himself on his stool and glanced at Vex. She was staring at him expectantly and Vax realized that she needed his idea for the song they were going to sing.

“You and Me,” he said to her lowly.

Vex smiled. “Fitting.”

“I thought so.”

Cassandra cleared her throat from nearby, again catching the attention of the crowd. “The album is now live for purchase and I’m happy to present the indomitable Vox Machina!” She swept her arm aside, leaving the gaze of the room to fall upon the twins.

Vax strummed the intro, letting his eyes close and his fingers feel the music completely. They leapt into the song at the same point, harmonizing beautifully.

“You and me were always with each other,” they sang together.

The song was a return to the pop-folk music they’d started on and the music that they really wanted to make. It was simple and fitting. Vex had the main melody, but it was incomplete without Vax’s harmonies. The lyrics told a story that was touching and deeply personal and true to the twins’ relationship.

When they finished, the room burst into applause and Vax grinned widely. He looked around and spotted Keyleth, Percy, Pike, Scanlan, Grog, and the others looking happy and he even caught Keyleth wiping away a stray tear as she beamed at him. Giddy, Vax turned to look at Vex.

She was smiling widely as she looked out over the crowd, but Vax watched as her eyes landed on something in specific. Her smile dropped and the blood drained out of her face. For a moment he was afraid she would collapse, but she just stood up abruptly and painted on a forced smile. He stood next to her, reaching for her arm, but she pulled him into a brief bow before striding away to the edge of the room.

Vax stumbled, awkwardly placing the guitar back in the stand before he followed her quickly. He caught up to her and grabbed her arm, spinning her to face him. The colour had returned to her face and she was looking better already.

“Vex’ahlia, what’s wrong?” he asked concernedly.

She shook her head, exhaling deeply. “It’s nothing. I thought I saw something, but I didn’t. Everything is fine, Vax,” she replied, her tone calculated and even.

Vax furrowed his brow. He didn’t really believe her, but before he could push her on it, something covered his eyes and his vision went dark.

“Guess who!” Keyleth’s cheerful voice rang out.

Vax chuckled and pushed her hands out of the way, pulling her into a hug instead. When he pulled away from Keyleth he saw that Vex was embracing Percy and had taken the appearance of her kind-of-maybe-boyfriend as an excuse to flee from Vax’s scrutiny.

Vax frowned as she slipped away.

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kehayesmj-blog · 4 years

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Happiness and Celebrity Worship: So What’s the Problem?

Imagine being in the shoes of a world-famous pop culture icon. You’re sitting in the back seat of an expensive limousine as it comes to a halt, and your manager and bodyguards direct you towards a fancy building for a celebrity interview. Upon reaching the stage, you see everyone is listening carefully, anticipating a spark of inspiration. With the awareness that you are about to change a large percentage of the world’s disposition, you are ready to inform everyone of not only your life, but to change how they live theirs as well. You have a message to get across in this interview, so you stand up, clear your throat, and proudly proclaim that birds aren’t real.

This is a situation that has occurred numerous times over. The bird theory is interchangeable with any other outlandish claim or theory, but the concept is constant. Nearly thirty percent of people under the age of 30 would quit their jobs for fame alone and follow the lifestyles of celebrities in some form. Furthermore, do you know someone that has obsessed over or “stanned” a popular artist, possibly to the point of intimate attraction? It turns out that these two circumstances are rooted in the same mental ailment. If the issue seems familiar, it is because celebrity influence affects everyone, whether they want it to or not. This has some merits to it but can also harm large groups of people in various ways such as indoctrination and stalking. Many lives are affected in some way more than just culturally because of this. Perhaps your friend is adopting their favorite musical artist’s fashion sense, has social media accounts dedicated to their favorite actor, or even has pictures of them printed out to fit their aesthetic. All these tendencies are in some way a form of celebrity worship. Dr. Lynn McCutcheon of the North American Journal of Psychology separates celebrity fandom into “Entertainment Social Stage,” which defines more casual followers and people that simply seek entertainment on a non-serious level, and “Worshipper” which defines obsessive tendencies such as studying a person’s whereabouts, owning an unnecessarily large amount of keepsakes related to a popular person, or extreme sexual fixation. With further research conducted on mental health since the mainstream rise of celebrity obsession culture, a much more psychological case has appeared that defines and details every variant of celebrity worship. There have been cases of people led to harmful lifestyles simply because it was what their favorite movie star thought was beneficial, such as with Charlie Sheen’s and Jenny McCarthy’s fans believing in their conspiracy theories. Without awareness or recognition, this is a problem that could potentially mislead people at an even larger scale. With governments picking up on the relevance of certain celebrities, the case of celebrity worship is beginning to gain influence on the national level in some nations. In recent years, South Korea has made a statement and endorsement for their native pop stars under the condition that they abide by the nation’s values, directly affecting the opinions of fans worldwide. Whether a case of icon obsession is affecting a loved one’s mental health, radicalization, or personal economic decisions, celebrity fixation is a topic with many influential details. Obsession over celebrities and their values is an informational and important study for the good of modern mental health, and the importance of recognizing this is crucial to furthering personal fulfillment.

Misinformation and Radicalization

People have been falling for the unusual ideologies followed by celebrities since celebrity culture’s shift to pop culture in the early 20th century. However, their ideas were not seen as widely until the late 20th century with pop culture becoming more experimental and expressive. While musical artists such as Elvis Presley, Mick Fleetwood, and Dave Mustaine were always known for some strange views, actors, hosts, and talk personalities usually kept their views to themselves with minimal exception. With social media’s rise, it is much easier to convince the public of things that would normally be seen as extreme or nonsensical. In 2006, Patricia Heaton convinced a group of followers to refuse and deny embryonic stem cell research. This view became such a hot topic because she had proposed to discontinue stem cell research, contraceptives, and pregnancy termination to a group that continues to believe and support these ideas to this day due to her prestige. Many groups focused on unsupported claims, extremism, and conspiracy theories have seen an increase in subscription because of how easy it has become to follow polarizing figures. Charlie Sheen has come out as a Truther and a conspiracy theorist, going as far as making a film with undertones of false information about the attack. Sheen claims: “There are still a couple of things just rooted in simple physics that beg some measure of inquiry. I was in contact with a lot of family members and they were in concert with a lot of my questions.” Jenny McCarthy has gone on record claiming that vaccines gave her child autism. Podcast host and researcher George Ouzounian has stated that “Celebrity worship is the reason we have anti-vaxxers,” attributing the entirety of the anti vax movement to the misinformation of celebrities. “We have people like Jenny McCarthy going on record saying vaccines gave her child autism and her fans just eat that up. Correlation must cause causation, right? She failed to control variables such as chemicals, clothes, plastic, known carcinogens, water, etc,” says Ouzounian in episode 29 of his podcast The Biggest Problem in the Universe.

Another example of blindly following an affluent figure is Stan Culture. “Stan” culture is a popular form of celebrity fandom and worship in both the West and Eastern hemispheres. The western term is derived from an Eminem song titled Stan (short for Stalker-Fan) where the rapper goes in depth about the story of a fan that designs his lifestyle around the lyrics in Eminem’s music. He misinterprets the insane, violent nature of the rapper’s on-stage persona as a lifestyle that he actually lives, causing the fan to go insane and murder his girlfriend in reference to another of Eminem’s horror story type songs called “Kim”. The cautionary nature of the song Stan’s message ironically did not get across to the current generation of celebrity “Stans”, as they view the stalkerish nature of the Stan character from the song as something to look up to, just as Stan looked up to the character Eminem plays in some of his music. Stan Culture causes fans and obsessors to defend everything their idol does, even if it is misguided. “You got some issues Stan, I think you need some counseling. To help your ass from bouncing off the walls when you get down some” says Eminem in the song “Stan” referring to the stalker fan needing medical and mental health attention. Further evidence of this can be found in a case of Ariana Grande not understanding many subjects of appropriation she had used in a music video led to her fans misleadingly defending her with no juxtaposition. Naijaeaux on Twitter says “All Arianna does is drop hits and mind her business, but y’all continue to critique and harass her.” This culture of “my idol can do no wrong” completely removes the subjective concept of art and halts many conceptual conversations that are important for analyzing music.

Stan writing to Eminem, https://twitter.com/mscaitlin55/status/846561100263034882

Stan culture goes even further, however, when focus is on more socially involved governments. Motoko Rich, foreign bureau chief for New York Times reported that North Korea requested eleven kpop acts to perform for their leader as a form of covert diplomacy. Meanwhile, nearly 40 million people claim themselves to be dedicated fans of the Korean pop music genre with feral hive-minded communities swarming every crevice of social media. The implications of North Korea’s propaganda system getting ahold of one of the world’s most flourishing genres would naturally scare almost anyone. Additionally, the People’s Republic of China, a nation currently known for brainwashing internment camps and suppressing many of what the West knows as inalienable freedoms, has recently seen quiet support from NBA personalities such as Adam Silver and LeBron James. After being asked to share thoughts on the topic multiple times, both personalities had refused to speak up on any of the Hong Kong protests in the past out of fear they would lose endorsements from China. When nations have access to beloved personalities that are generally looked highly upon, it becomes easier for them to accumulate supporters to justify their causes.

Kim Jong Un with South Korean group Red Velvet, https://www.npr.org/sections/therecord/2018/04/02/598812832/kim-jong-un-was-deeply-moved-after-k-pop-performance

Another case of the strange ideologies of popular figures being followed by a growing crowd is Terryology. A study by Dave Schilling, General editor at Grantland covers a firsthand interview between the author and actor Terrence Howard. Terrence Howard is proposing a new way of thinking and problem solving coined “Terryology,” that involves the idea that scientific and mathematical theories can be solved in a minimalistic form of analysis and still make sense. For example, the expression 1x1 having the number 1 stated twice means that there are two of them, and therefore equals 2 and not 1. Many fans of this ideology have begun converting their mathematics to Terryology despite the world still running on the normal mathematic system we have today. Some critics view this as a misinformed, dropout mathematics major turned movie star losing his mind in the fame that surrounds him. However, many news outlets and art enthusiasts view this as an expression of creative integrity that should be considered a legitimate theory. “In that piece, Mr. Howard explains a philosophy for life so powerful, so revolutionary, so magnificent, that most people who read about it were driven mad or had their heads swell up like the bad guy from Total Recall.” -Schilling

Mental Health

Aside from altering people’s thoughts ideologically, celebrity obsession also has a strong effect on the mental health of people that follow celebrities. Professor and journalist Neil Peterson conducted a study in 2005 claiming that teenage girls tend to have lower self-confidence if they constantly follow celebrities online or in the media. Recently, another study of 437 Hungarian citizens found that people that considered themselves celebrity worshippers also tended to have higher levels of problematic internet use, maladaptive daydreaming, and desire to be famous. These individuals are led to not being as productive and not being in the mindset to make their lives better due to always looking up to someone that has no direct effect on their life. In conclusion, overall happiness and productivity are hindered by celebrity worship. In 2013, more cases of schizophrenia emerged with the leading cause being cultural icons. This may not have been the intention of the celebrities, but some fans of them with less than stable home and mental lives may find this to be a difficult and life halting struggle. In Hungary, internet addiction has been linked to obsession with popular figures for purposes such as envy of appearance and infatuation. Celebrity worship is prevalent among all people but is most present among teenage girls up to age 17. This is a time where most people are still discovering their identity as a person and will likely have a long-term effect on them for the rest of their lives. Due to the age range this disorder affects mostly, there is a higher potential for identity crises later in life. This early age of developing issues also has the largest margin of change to financial literacy and decision making. Adults that spent their adolescent years obsessing over famous people may not know that those people spend all their money carelessly due to their wealth and could cause others to pursue the same luxuries without an enormous bank account to fall back on. School of Psychology professor at the University of Leicester, John Maltby, says “Significant relationships were found between attitudes toward celebrities and body image only among female adolescents. Multiple regression analyses suggested that Intense‐personal celebrity worship accounted for unique variance in scores in body image.” In addition to mental health, celebrity obsession can also affect financial stability. Many communities near or below the poverty line struggle with addiction and abuse, and celebrity worship can be seen as a form of this. From a distance, obsessing over another person’s personal life doesn’t seem as bad as abusing substances, but they both have the same psychological dependence and reaction when consuming both contents.

Chairman ZeBron, https://lushsux.bigcartel.com/

Diagnosis of Celebrity Worship Symptoms

In addition to mental health, celebrity obsession can also affect financial stability. As Daniel Guilbert stated in The Science Behind the Smile, one way to determine happiness is to break it into statistics. Many communities near or below the poverty line struggle with addiction and abuse, and celebrity worship can be seen as a form of this. From a distance, obsessing over another person’s personal life doesn’t seem as bad as abusing substances, but they both have the same psychological dependence and reaction when consuming both contents. Robert A. Reeves from the Augusta State University Department of Psychology reports that “Celebrity worship, materialism, and compulsive buying were significantly related to lower self‐concept clarity and to lower levels of well‐being, supporting both absorption‐addiction and empty self-theories” -Celebrity Worship, Materialism, Compulsive Buying, and the Empty Self by Robert Reeves. Celebrity Worship Disorder has also proven to make mental health cases worse. This is proven by more reports by Reeves emerging in 2013 of worsening cases of schizophrenia due more to cultural icons than any other sources. The same study shows that this fixation on pop culture is mostly a coping mechanism for other symptoms including depression and ADHD. These coping methods are an incredibly unhealthy way of dealing with personal problems, as it does nothing to further the mental state of anyone involved. The subgroups of this diagnosis can more easily help find solutions if recognized.

The first stage of rehabilitation is recognizing what the problem is, which is why groups of diagnoses are so valuable. Celebrity Worship syndrome is a registered mental and medical disorder that Gary Laderman groups into three categories: Simple Obsession (70-80% of cases- between individuals that have shared personal relationships with each other), Love Obsessional (stalking, convinced that they are in a relationship with the individual), and Erotomantic (less than 10%, believe that the celebrity is in love with them and sending subliminal messages to the person, and often a symptom of schizophrenia). All of which are diagnosable disorders that victims can seek therapy or rehabilitation for. George Ouzounian from The Biggest Problem in the Universe expands by connecting these examples to a shift in culture and the fact that youth are more commonly swayed based on culture and wealth (Episode 29 of the podcast).

John Maltby also acknowledged three ways that people can begin their celebrity obsession: celebrity products, personal characteristics of the celebrity, and peer influence. These are all cultural aspects that reflect how modern society is constructed to revolve around these people. “Thematic analysis revealed that 3 major factors influenced participants to become celebrity worshipers: celebrity products, personal characteristics of the celebrity, and peer influence.” -John Maltby, School of Psychology. HaengRyang Huh from Sejong University brings up digit ratios and their importance in finding out exactly who is most affected by mental obsessions. “The digit ratios for the entire sample were positively correlated with CAS scores. Our research found evidence of a significant positive correlation between 2D:4D ratios and celebrity worship in females but not in males, which indicated that females with lower digit ratios were less likely to worship celebrities” -HaengRyang Huh. The gender ratio of celebrity worship varies and affects the level of loyalty to an individual someone has. Additionally, depending on the year and trending names, the ratio fluctuates even more.

The most troubling element of this issue is the amount of lives taken by celebrity worship. Romeo Vitelli, Ph.D. reported on an international connection involving copycat suicides. In Japan, a trend arose when famous pop singer Yukiko Okada committed suicide in 1986. Since then, chain suicides in the country enacted by fan groups were referred to as Yukiko Syndrome. Romeo Vitelli claims the trend began in 1774 when Johann Goethe’s book The Sorrows of Young Werther led to an influx of suicides duplicating the main character of the story. Studies on the chain suicides revealed that nearly all of the participants had existing mental health problems throughout their lives. “In understanding why celebrity suicides can be contagious, social learning theory suggests that the example of a well-known celebrity committing suicide may make them into role models for vulnerable fans to imitate. Once suicide is seen as an acceptable behavior, people experiencing depression may be more likely to commit suicide as a result.” -Vitelli, 2016. Social learning theory can be drawn as the cause of many celebrity related actions, and it is important to consider that as a factor to why these individuals are followed.

Origins of Copycat Suicides, https://www.slideshare.net/gauravhtandon1/copycat-suicides-when-suicides-comes-in-clusters

Parasitic Relationships

Celebrity culture on a wide scale has undoubtedly led to many trends and movements, but how do people with this platform have the power to influence opinions? The answer is rooted in the personalities of each popular figure and how they are perceived. A stern person known for minimal emotion may not have the same public image as someone that is often affectionate to others. It is somewhat the matter of whether you would prefer Gordon Ramsay or Lady Gaga to be your grandparents. One option is short tempered and often hard to emote with, while the other appears more considerate and carries their heart on their sleeve for all to empathize with. If the audience sees a humble, welcoming celebrity, they will feel more at home watching or listening to them. Down to earth celebrities tend to have the highest influence on people’s values and thoughts. These relationships are occasionally very beneficial for both audience and performer, causing the rise of many positive movements. The positive appearance of the trend of following celebrities encourages more people to follow them. There are still a handful of beneficial traits that come with celebrity culture such as confidence, individuality, perseverance, and humility. Many cultural figures today have improved society in some form. Bill Gates has committed to a foundation called the Giving Pledge where he and other billionaires donate a majority of their income to new charities to bring notice and support for lesser known causes. Upon his first year as a charting artist, Chance the Rapper immediately started a tradition where he donates $1 million to schools in his hometown Chicago, as well as actively participating in Faith in Action. Elton John actively participates in and has created multiple foundations spreading awareness for sexually transmitted diseases and support for those who suffer from them. Conversely, some pop culture icons take the route of studying policies firsthand in an effort to connect more people with how society can be improved. The late Nipsey Hussle is another person well known for his charity work and had planned to meet with the Los Angeles police department to learn about and discuss alternative solutions to the gang violence he grew up with. All of these people have made positive changes to how people seek to improve their communities and have plenty of supporters participating in their causes.

Elton John speaking at the anniversary of the Aids Foundation, https://www.billboard.com/articles/news/8030099/elton-john-celebrates-25-years-of-aids-foundation

Although celebrities often have good intentions, their fans may not. This is once again attributed to the fact that celebrity worship is caused by the fan’s mental health situation. Even if a pop icon promotes a positive relationship between themselves and the fans, there could still be a dangerous obsession by the fan. Korea calls this relationship Sasaeng and is seen as normal for fans. Sasaeng are fans who will stalk and obsess over the most popular musical idols of the time, often resulting in devastation to the fan. Sasaeng, or fans, will also spend large amounts of money on traveling to meet their idols or buying excessive merchandise. Famous celebrities, as well as Stans, are often publicized without a clear image on whether their actions as obsessive fans are good or bad. Many people will find these statements, regardless of good or bad intention, as something to look up to and shape opinion based on. This is why fandoms for eastern pop groups have become so viral in the past decade. If being a feral fan is seen as a positive trait, more people will aspire to follow the trend. Due to so much attention being on these people in eastern countries, many of them are also required by contract to refrain from certain actions such as dating, stating opinions, or associating with certain people the labels and contractors have not approved. In Japan, a female member of a famous pop group, AKB47, was seen in public on a date with a boy and was later required by label officials to shave her head and apologize to both her fans and music group on camera. This strict image can sometimes even be too much for the celebrities to keep up with and reflect how strict and obsessive everyone involved is. Other people may feel entitled to forcing contact with famous people or may even feel they deserve special treatment from their idols. Furthermore, if an induvial has violent tendencies or disorders, celebrity obsession could amplify them. “On the periphery, however, resides a much smaller group of individuals who lack the ability to discriminate between their own private fantasies and the public figure’s behavior, believe they are entitled to pursue the figure, and may present a risk of violence.” -J. Reid Melloy, pg. 3 of Stalking, Threatening, and Attacking Public Figures : A Psychological and Behavioral Analysis.

As icon worship grows in popularity, it is important that ways to identify the trend grow with it. With so much stigma around the culture of celebrity worship, is it possible to support and follow a famous person without any of the burdens of mental health or misinformation? In simple terms, yes, as long as you’re able to educate yourself with more than one source and viewpoint. Knowing the positives and negatives of views and lifestyles is crucial to enlightenment. Therefore, it should be a priority to educate yourself from every angle on any type of new information you want to learn. This, along with prioritizing mental health will allow for a healthy experience following any public entertainer. Connecting happiness to life is mandatory for fulfillment and should never be compromised in favor of someone you’ve never met.

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theoreticalli · 6 years

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On Dreaming

Day 1 of Critical Role Relationships Week: Cassandra & Vax'ildan (Read on AO3)

Set after Campaign 1, so spoilers for much of the final arc (and also for the Briarwood arc, obviously). I spent all my prep time writing this, so it's very long and unedited (except by tumblr user @horationelson so thank her for that) and I'll be spending the rest of the week trying to catch up on all the other fics I have planned. Pray to the Raven Queen so she won't take me away.

Cassandra didn’t get to see Vax’ildan often. In her memories, it only took a few months after Vex’ahlia and Percival returned to Whitestone before his face started blending with his sister’s, her constant presence superseding Cass’s initial interest in the rogue. Eventually all she could recall of him was his more mischievous smile, the beads strung into his hair, and the daggers he wore. She felt a sting of guilt on days when she could see Vex was struggling— especially when the Lady gave in to constant questioning about her birthday and let them throw her a small party every year. Cass knew what it was to have that constant knowledge that someone was missing from her life. She’d been living with it for almost a decade. She only wished she could give her something back, to make those days a little bit easier.

It was on that birthday, a few years later, when the first raven appeared. They had nearly finished with dinner and the kitchen was setting the final details on the cake when Cass saw Vex stiffen out of the corner of her eye, the half-elf’s gaze latched on something past the window.

Cass caught Percival’s eye and his brow furrowed. “Dear, are you alright?”

Vex was already standing, pushing her chair back without taking her eyes off the window. “Percy. Percy, look.”

Percival craned his neck to follow her line of sight and Cass could hear his breath catch. Suddenly they were both speaking in low murmurs. “Do you think it’s—”

“I don’t know, I wasn’t sure he could come back.”

“Could be a coincidence?”

“But it’s our birthday, Percy. I don’t….”

Vex trailed off as she walked towards the window, leaning on the sill with both hands. After a moment, she slowly raised one finger to tap, shakily, on the glass.

Cass heard a loud caw! from the lawn and both Percy and Vex burst into relieved laughter. Vex finally looked away, smiling down at the two rings on her splayed left hand. Percy came up behind her, sliding an arm around her waist while waving cheerily at the big black bird in the tree, and Cass felt a low, dull thud in her stomach. Why couldn’t anyone she loved come back for a brief little visit?

[read more]

That night, she laid on her side in bed, staring out into the dark chamber. She could barely make out the tapestry of her family tree on the opposite wall, a bit torn from intentional mishandling. She’d become wearily accustomed to the hours of lying awake in dread that led into the nightmares every night, but that certainly didn’t make it any more enjoyable. Breathing slowly, she rolled onto her back and thought heavily, It simply isn’t fair. Not that I begrudge her that happiness, especially not on her birthday. But it’s still not fair. All I wanted was to say goodbye. Tell them I loved them. Since we never did that much in life, the fools we were.

She fell asleep eventually, arms crossed over her chest. Almost immediately her eyes opened on a dark chamber, black stone walls rising to a stained-glass ceiling with almost no light spilling through it. In the center of the floor was a flat plane of deep red, completely still— she could only tell that it was a liquid because someone was sitting on the edge, legs dangling motionless in the pool, completely clad in black. Uneasiness settling in her chest, Cass stepped out of the doorway— glancing behind herself quickly to find that it led into nothing but darkness, the floor vanishing.

The figure didn’t move, but a voice rose like it was coming from every part of the room at once. “Lady Cassandra de Rolo. Fantastic seeing you again. I’m sorry I couldn’t make it sooner.”

Finally, the head turned to face her and she saw none other than Vax’ildan, his hair drawn back loosely into a ponytail, armor adorned with iridescent black feathers covering him. For a moment she almost thought him a strange version of Vex, with a harder jaw and that smile, beads now dimly visible in his hair. Cass rested her fingertips on the cool, damp stone, watching him.

“I trust you’ve been keeping my sister and Freddy in line?”

“Of course,” Cass replied, and her voice came out smoother than she might have expected. “They seem to be doing fine. Worse without you, I suppose.”

His slight smile faltered and suddenly he looked very different from Vex— much older, his brow creased more heavily despite the strange glow that seemed to light his skin from underneath. She suddenly felt a feeling of vertigo, like outside the walls of the chamber was a vastness that would lose her instantly. Had he been here for all these years? Did time pass the same here?

He looked down at his hands, then pushed himself to his feet. The disturbance sent barely two ripples across the pool, and when Cass pulled her eyes away he was already standing beside her.

“I’ve only just been able to reach out to… anyone. I figured our birthday was as good a time as any.”

“They seemed to appreciate it,” Cass said softly.

“That’s not why I’m talking to you, though,” Vax said, leaning on the wall and crossing his arms. “Those two aren’t the only ones who’ve been having a difficult time, are they? How have you been, Cassandra?”

Cass blinked. “Fine.”

“I’m hurt.” Vax laid a hand against his chest, faking a pout. “I brought you all the way here. The least you can do is tell me your troubles.”

“They haven’t exactly changed much,” Cass said bitterly. “By all accounts, everything in Whitestone is doing much better. Including me, I guess.”

“You were expecting a nightmare. I can feel it.” He tapped his sternum and crossed his arms again.

“Yes? I have nightmares every night. I’m sure Percy does too, and Vex, and whoever else. You probably do— did.”

“I don’t sleep much anymore.” His chin tipped down so he could look at her closer. “You never really got the closure we got, did you? I’m sorry about that.”

“Well, sometimes there’s not much one can do,” Cass said. “Were you this retrospective— before? I seem to recall your sister being the more sympathetic one.”

“She was. I figure if you spend all your time escorting people out from their lives and you don’t have one to go back to yourself, you spend a lot of time thinking about their lives and a lot of time thinking about your own.”

Sighing, Cass mirrored his posture against the wall, hugging herself. “That’s how I felt the first few months after Whitestone was restored. I spent all day helping other people sort out whatever the Briarwoods had done to them, and then at night I’d feel like nothing was changing for me. At least I had a lot of time to spend trying to sort out my memories.”

Vax nodded, looking down at the mosaic floor. After a long moment, he said, “I have… a proposition for you.”

Cass looked up at him, eyebrows raised. He’d hardly spoken to her before, let alone asked after her feelings, let alone offered her something. “Yes?”

“I cannot resolve any of your pain. I cannot bring anyone back for you, nor for Percival. However. If there are any words you feel were left… unsaid, any messages you’d wish to pass on, I can find the recipients. And I may be able to bring a response.” Standing up straight, he settled his hands on her shoulders and looked her firmly in the eyes. “I know that something that haunted both Vex and I for years was never being able to say goodbye to our mother. I would imagine that pain is similar for you.”

Cass held his gaze for a second, then quickly wiped her eyes. Strangely, even the thought of being able to say goodbye to her mother and father and all her siblings, however indirectly, made something release in her chest that she didn’t even know she’d been holding so tightly. Tipping her head back against the wall, she took a few steadying breaths, trying to compose her thoughts. What could she say? My dear brothers and sisters, I am sorry I never really got to know you on account of my being quite young when you were murdered. Everything is going well here, I no longer daily wish I was dead with you. No, that wouldn’t do.

She looked back down at Vax. “Thank you… very much.” Her voice cracked and she cleared it carefully. “If you could find my siblings and tell them that… that I love them very much, and Whitestone feels very empty without them. Tell them that Percival and I are doing our best to replicate all the bickering that went on. Oh, and—” She started laughing, softly. “Tell them that Whitney was always my favorite, because she used to sneak me biscuits and other things from the kitchens when I was upset.”

He grinned briefly, nodding. “Can do.”

“And tell my parents…” She bit her lip. “Tell them that Percival and I are doing the best we can in a position we never expected to find ourselves in, let alone so soon. We’ll keep working in their legacy. And I miss them so, so much.”

Her voice went up slowly until the last word, which caught and wavered between them. Cass put her hand against the dark stone, the tears that had been pricking her eyes spilling down her cheeks. Within a moment she’d let out a loud sob and clasped her hand over her mouth, quickly.

She didn’t see Vax move, but suddenly his arms were around her, one hand rubbing her back. “Shhhhh. You can cry here,” he murmured. “You haven’t ever had the chance to mourn them, really. And there are so many burdens on you. Just cry. Just let it out. I know that they are so proud of you.”

“I just feel so selfish,” Cass gasped. “Everyone lost people.”

“And so did you. It still hurts, and it always will, but it will be so much worse if you mix guilt into it. Be a little selfish. You have as much time as you need.”

Cass had no idea how long she stood in Vax’s arms, sobbing. Crying for a childhood she’d lost. Crying for siblings she’d never know, parents who’d never hold her again. Crying for a home that had been spoiled for her, all her happiness there ruined with years of pain. Crying for her brother, who left her and ran and ran and ran. Crying for Vex, who was in Whitestone with the man she loved and still missing so much. Crying for herself, for everything she still had to do, every nightmare she’d still have to suffer, every day that would still feel awful and long, every moment she’d spend hating herself for things she never could control. Crying for Vax, taken away from everyone he loved to serve a distant god. Crying. Crying. Crying.

Abruptly, Cass woke up in her bed, the sheets laid out neatly around her like she hadn’t moved once. Even her nightmares tended to lose detail quickly, but every word of her conversation with Vax, every aspect of the room, came back to her with no effort. Exhaling slowly, she sat up, moving the sheets aside with unusual ease. Getting up was a lot less daunting when her sheets weren’t soaked with sweat and tangled around her legs.

Of course, she had to put the encounter off as a particularly vivid and benevolent dream brought on by the raven’s visit the day before. Nevertheless, something both relieving and painful had settled deep in her gut, tugging at her. She wouldn’t let herself admit that she was waiting for responses, but she dreamed of their faces more often, and sometimes Vax showed up in the skies of her nightmares, the brush of dark-feathered wings behind him as he watched her sadly.

It was a few weeks. She still had terrible dreams almost every night, and the disappointment when she’d wake up thrashing was almost more crushing than the fear itself. Eventually Vex asked after her, catching her furrowed brow and conversing that was even brusquer than usual.

“Darling, you seem concerned. It’s not the Marquesan diplomat, is it? I can really take that meeting alone if you need me to.”

Cass sighed, trying in vain to tuck a few loose strands of hair into her updo. “No— well, not entirely. It would make my life easier if you did. But there’s something else, and I probably should have told you a while ago.”

Vex reached out to help her, then smoothed her sleeves down until she was holding both her hands. “What is it?”

“I had a dream about Vax. He told me he would get in contact with my family for me, and I gave him some messages. I know it was just a dream, but it felt so vivid, and I just… I desperately want him to bring me the responses. I feel so silly, and I don’t know if it’s because I’m indulging myself or because of what I said. It’s just making me more tired than usual, that’s all.”

Vex looked down at their clasped hands. “You think he actually visited you? In your dream?”

“Do you dream of him?” Cass asked gently.

The corners of Vex’s mouth twitched up into a very sad smile. “All the time, darling. But his face started getting mixed up and I… I couldn’t bear it. I got Keyleth to help me mix up something for dreamless sleep.” Suddenly, her face twisted into a look of horror. “Oh, darling, I’m so sorry. I should have offered it to you the day I thought of it. I know you need it much more than I do.”

It did sting a little, to know the solution was that simple, but Cass also had a feeling that her nightmares wouldn’t be stifled that easily. “It’s alright, Vex, I know you would have. Do you think he ever… actually visited you?”

“I’d considered it at first, but I couldn’t hold on to it and stay present day to day. I suppose I understand where you’re coming from there. And many of the dreams were… less than pleasant, so I’d prefer to think he had no involvement in them— the real him, anyways.”

Cass used their hands to pull her into a hug, something she was still working on gifting freely. “I know how that feels, of course. Well… I don’t know, maybe you should try one night and see if you get anything. Just so you know, one way or the other.”

Vex looked at her fondly, her smile growing to something more genuine. “I’m a bit worried that I’ll keep making excuses and never get a good night’s sleep again, but thank you for telling me, darling. It’s some comfort to know he might be looking out for you, too.”

That night, Cass spent a little extra time getting ready for bed. She didn’t completely know why, but she used a bit of the fragrant soap she saved for occasions and spent several minutes brushing her hair out and braiding it out of the way. Feeling a little ridiculous, she caught her own eye in the mirror and said firmly, “If no one’s there, no one’s there. That is it.”

She laid awake for a while, though she was surprisingly calm— not even that excited. Eventually she drifted off and opened her eyes in the dark temple, exactly as she’d imagined it. Vax was standing on the side of the pool, looking at her with a bit of that playful grin. “Thank you for telling my sister about the dream. I’ve been trying to get to her for ages, but except for certain days it’s hard to take control of the dream. I'll be delighted to see her.”

“How does this work?” Cass asked. “All this… showing up in my dreams. Is it always really you, even in the nightmares?”

His brow furrowed and he looked down at the pool, studying it like he could see something other than his reflection. “I don’t really know. I have a lot of duties, but the way time works… doesn’t always make sense. Sometimes I just get the sense that one of you, someone I knew before, is closer to me, and it’s usually in sleep. If someone is unconscious I can get that much closer, but that hasn’t happened since most of you stopped adventuring. But if you aren’t completely open to it… sometimes all I can do is watch. I hate it, but it means I can see my sister, and Keyleth, and all the rest of you. It’s not as good as this, though.”

So it was real, Cass realized. And she was dreaming. Usually she couldn’t tell that until she’d woken up. She moved to stand across from him, a few feet back from the edge of the pool. “I hope you can reach out to Vex soon.”

His smile changed into something more wistful, almost childlike and painfully hopeful. “I’m hoping tonight. I can feel her, she’s much closer than usual. But I have your responses, so I figured I owed you the first visit.”

“Took you long enough,” Cass said, carefully managing her tone to make sure it didn’t sound too accusative.

He actually looked shocked. “Oh. How long has it been?”

Brow furrowing, she thought back. “I don’t know. About a month?”

“I am so very sorry. I had no idea, I went to speak to them immediately. I really thought it had only been a few nights at most. I told you, time is weird here. Sometimes I feel like I’m getting things out of order. It’s… it’s a bit concerning, if I think about it too hard.” Vax’s hand went to his belt, like he was looking for something familiar. “I’m sorry, Cassie.”

“It’s alright,” she said gently. “I’m just glad to get anything.”

He cleared his throat and reached into a pocket of his cloak to pull out a scrap of parchment. “To make sure I didn’t mix anything up. You’ve got a lot of family, milady.”

She smiled mildly, but her heart was hammering in her chest. This was real. She was hearing from her family. They had listened, and even written back.

“Vesper says she always knew Whitney was a bit of a troublemaker, though she wasn’t expecting you to have joined in. Oliver and Ludwig both said she should have known, since you were the youngest and absolutely spoiled. Julius says he’s sorry that you’ve had to take on a responsibility that should have been passed down to him and then through everyone else before it reached you. They all say they miss you, and they hope you’re doing okay. Vesper added that she hopes you’ll reach out again in a few years to tell them if there’s any beaus you’ve brought in to take up space, and maybe a few new little ones to make things properly noisy. Whitney says to give you a hug from her, and to tell you to hug everyone you see. She always thought that was a ridiculous taboo anyways.” Vax glanced up at her to find her with a hand covering her wide smile and tears streaming down her face. “I agree with her. She’s a lot of fun.”

Cass could only nod.

He flipped the paper over. “As for your parents. Your mother said she misses you very much and she loves you forever and ever, and that she is very proud of how strong you’ve been. She’s sorry you had to go through so much, and she has a number of improper things she would do to Delilah Briarwood if she ever found her.” He seemed to feel Cass’s surprise from across the room and laughed softly. “I’m guessing that’s not the mother you were familiar with.

“Your father also says he is very proud of you for bringing Whitestone back from ruin, and he has heard of the way you’ve changed the government. He isn’t sure he agrees with your choice, but he trusts you, Percival, and the new Lady of Whitestone to manage it appropriately. He did not specifically say that he loves you, but I think it’s pretty heavily implied.”

Vax tucked the paper away as he walked around the pool, silently. Cass didn’t move, the raging loneliness and joy and fear and misery feeling as though they would tear her apart if she so much as breathed too deeply. Once again, his arms wrapped around her shoulders. She leaned into his armored chest, trying not to let the fantasy that she was being held by one of her brothers take hold too strongly. Finally, she composed herself enough to whisper, “Thank you, Vax.”

He looked down at her, expression inscrutable. “Of course, Cass. If you ever want to contact them again, I’ll do my best. Though apparently the timing might be off by the time I get back to you.”

She was already shaking her head, reaching around his arms to wipe her eyes and nose. “No, this was fine. More than fine. Wonderful. I could never thank you enough. I just needed to say… something. Given a reason, I may follow Vesper’s advice, still.”

There was a pause. “Which one is that again?”

She let out a teary laugh. “The oldest sister. She’s the only one interested in my future prospects, apparently.”

He squeezed her once and let go, turning her to study her face. Cass got another pang, like she was looking at a brother she’d almost forgotten she had. “Got it. I’ll do my best to be a punctual messenger, then.”

“I’ll let you go find Vex, then,” she said, reveling in the sudden lightness in her chest as she walked towards the door to the chamber. “Though if I may place one more request…”

She trailed off, debating. He watched for a moment, then raised an eyebrow. “Yes?”

Giving in, she sighed and leaned one hand on the doorframe. “Ask Percival. I don’t know if he’ll want to right away, but I think he’s… changed… enough that he might be willing to reach out. I think it would be good for him. I think it’s been good for me.”

Vax just nodded, watching her with sad eyes. Cass gave him a nod, stepped through the door, and woke up in her bed, smiling.

#critrole rsweek #my writing #critical role #cassandra de rolo #cassandra & vax #idk

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maxbegone · 6 years

Note

The percy and vex baby fic you wrote was so adorable!! Can you write another part??

HOO BOY I GOT CARRIED AWAY WITH THIS ONE WHOOPS.

part one

“I’m so tired of this, Percy!”

Vex was slumped against her husband in the bath he had drawn for her. At full term, her back ached, her head was throbbing from being holed up in the castle all day, and she was growing restless. If she was being honest, she felt as if she was suffocating.

“I know, dear,” Percy whispered, continuing to dig his fingers into the small of her back. “But it won’t be much longer.”

“I just wish it happened already,” she groaned. “That way it’s already over and we don’t have to keep waiting.”

Percy pressed his face into Vex’s shoulder, their skin hot from the steam rising from the water. “I do, too. Mainly because I just want to hold them already, but I also hate seeing you in pain.”

Vex huffed. “You’re going to hate me when I’m in labor, then.”

She sunk deeper into the water until her lips were bobbing at the surface. Her eyes fluttered closed for a moment or two before speaking again.

“Are you scared?”

A beat.

“I’m terrified.”

Vex sat up enough to turn and face him. “Are you really?”

“Yes. I’m not going to lie to you.”

“It’s good to know I’m not alone, then.”

Percy looked at her quizzically. “Did you really think I wouldn’t be scared?”

“Well, yes. I mean, you’re much stronger than I am.”

He laughed. “That is the furthest thing from the truth. You know, I didn’t think I’d ever get this far. I didn’t think I’d ever have a family again. My own family.”

“But you do. We do.” She pushed his damp hair away from his eyes, smiling. “We’ve been over this, you’re going to be the most brilliant father.”

Percy averted his gaze into the water. “I don’t want to fail either of you.” It seemed he was speaking more to himself than to Vex.

“Percival.” Vex tiled his head so had to look right at her. “That is impossible,” and she kissed him deeply.

“Impossible…”

—

It happens a week later, and rather inconveniently.

Cassandra was holding a council meeting in its routine way. They were talking about revising something about the trading they do with Syngorn, so Vex knew she should really be paying attention, but she was unable to. She had too much on her mind already.

Half an hour into the meeting was when Vex started feeling uncomfortable. Twinges of pain were coming and going, and for a while she was able to ignore it but it eventually became all that she was focusing on.

She needed air, really. That’s all it was. Air, and a moment alone without any diplomatic conversations, and nobody doting over every move she made.

She stood from the table abruptly, Percy immediately standing as well as the room fell silent.

“I just need to use to toilet. I’ll be quick.” She kissed Percy’s cheek and walked swiftly out of the room.

Halfway down the hall she stopped again in pain, clutching the banister nearby.

“Is this it then?” Vex looked down at her belly and sighed, her nerves immediately beginning to shake her. “Is this your way of telling me you’re finally ready?”

There was a little movement as Vex rubbed the underside of her belly, but for the most part it was just intensifying pain. When nothing happened after a few moments of standing in place she made her way back down the corridor towards one of the open windows just outside the war room.

Vex stood there for a little while, taking in the crisp air that filled her lungs while she tried her best to clear her head. She was just about to return to the war room when the pain returned. Vex steadied herself against the windowsill and let out a whimper, eyes shut tightly and teeth gritted. She was pulled away suddenly as two arms wrapped around her, and there she was buried in Percy’s chest.

“Vex, why didn’t you tell me?” He was doing his best to keep the panic from his voice, and he was doing quite well.

“Because it just started,” she whimpered. “I’m fine, you don’t have to worry about me.”

Percy ignored her. “How long has this been happening?”

“A-an hour, maybe? I was able to ignore it earlier, but-“

“An hour?” He gave her a quick kiss on her hair. “Can you walk?”

Vex glared. “Yes! I’m not completely incompetent, Percival!” She paused. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s quite alright. But let’s get you settled, alright?”

“But-“

“Vex. Cassandra can handle it without us. The council knows what to do. We’ll go back to our room, get you settled and take it from there.” His eyes were soft, but there was a sense of nervousness in them.

“Alright.”

It took them a little while but they returned to the room, Vex collapsing heavily onto the bed with Percy kneeling in front of her.

“Are you in pain?”

“A little.” Her voice was small. “I’m not ready, Percy. We’re not ready.”

He immediately enveloped Vex, undoing her braid and running his fingers through the waves of her hair. She panted heavily while she cried into his shirt and gripped his free hand tightly.  “Yes we are, darling. Yes we are. The baby’s ready, and we’re ready, too.”

Vex could hear the thickness in his voice as Percy tried to keep his own tears back.

“I can’t, Percy. I can’t do it. Not without him, not without Vax.”

The hand running through her hair stilled. She was about to say something, anything, to get Percy to start speaking again, but him pressing his face into her neck stopped her entirely. She wasn’t heaving, she wasn’t audibly crying. Vex stayed incredibly still for a moment as Percy had begun to cry, himself.

When he pulled back to look at her, glasses a little wet, he said, “Yes you can. Because he is still right here with you. And I’m here with you. Vex’ahlia, your brother would never let you do this on your own. I promised him I would look after you, and he knows how strong you are.”

“I’m so scared…”

He shushed her. “I know, I know. You’re going to be ok. Our baby will be in our arms very soon, and Vax will be there every step of the way, I promise you.”

“You won’t leave me?” Vex was shaking again.

“You couldn’t get me to leave you if you tried.” He kissed her hair. “Ever.”

Percy helped her through another bout of pain a few moments later, Vex now laying on her left side with her robes discarded onto a nearby armchair along with Percy’s coat. He was rubbing her arm as Vex tried her best to relax once the pain faded away, eyes closed and breathing a long stream out of her mouth.

“Has anyone alerted Pike?”

“We’re very lucky Allura decided to stop in this meeting,” Percy noted. “She’s already sent the word to her. It shouldn’t be much longer now.”

Vex looked up at him, and with her best effort gave him an honest but exhausted smile. “Last chance to guess. Boy or girl?”

“You know I don’t mind,” Percy responded.

“You’re not making this any fun!”

“I don’t think labor is supposed to really be fun,” he mused.

“Percy. Just answer the damn question.”

“Alright, alright. I’ve had a couple of dreams recently, and I really do think it’s a girl. What about you?”

Vex sighed. “A boy. I’m happy either way as well, but I just have a feeling. I don’t know why. I guess it’s just some sort of…intuition.”

They traded idle conversation back and forth for a while as they waited for Pike to arrive, who, as always, immediately eased the worry that was in the room. She greeted them both with gentle hugs and looked over Vex thoroughly, two healers trailing behind to assist.

Of course, nothing sped up for quite some time and it became a waiting game. Vex did everything in her power not to snap at Percy, Percy did everything in his power to ease her pain, and Pike mixed up the herbs and solvents Keyleth had sent their way. The room soon smelled of mild lavender, pine, and mint, the windows were cracked, Vex was now in a loose nightgown and was curled into Percy. Through everything, Vex managed to get in some very restless dozing and she felt drained. Cassandra had come in to chat for about an hour, sternly telling Percy to alert her when her niece or nephew had finally arrived.

Hours after the sun set and the moon had risen, a fire was lit, things had been quiet in the castle for most of the evening besides her yells and moans. Vex managed to eat a little food but her appetite was completely consumed by the nerves and pain she was experiencing.

Just as she was going to start complaining to Pike again about how uncomfortable she was and how this was all taking too long, the gnome smiled at them both.

“You’re about ready to go, Vex,” Pike chimed. “You hold on to Percy, alright? Percy, get behind her and keep her upright. We’re just about there, now comes the hardest part.”

Vex smiled weakly. “What would be ever do without you, Pike?”

The gnome blushed. “The same to you.”

—

The pain was blinding.

She’d been tossed into rock and stone, she’d watched loved ones die, had gone through tumultuous heartbreak. She’d been stabbed, hit, kicked, burned, and has even died herself-although the pain of those moments were rather blurry, themselves.

But this…The pain Vex had been going through lived on a whole different scale.

It went on for what felt like forever, Percy and Pike encouraging her. Vex swore, and swore she heard Vax a few times in the back of her head as well cheering her on.

It was pain, and pain, and pain, then crying.

Shrill, beautiful crying. And then Vex was crying again and Percy was hugging her tightly and kissing her from her shoulders to her hair and temple. She didn’t care about the blood, she didn’t care about the fact that she was exposed to two women she had never met before and a close friend. After long last, after an exhausting mix of months and of hours, she was a mother. Their baby was in her arms. It was a few hours later, now well past midnight by the looks of it. Vex was laying against Percy’s chest watching as he cradled the baby in his arms. She was tired, but it wouldn’t stop her from taking in this incredible moment.

“Have I told you how beautifully you did,” Percy whispered.

“A few times, now.”

“And have I told you how beautiful you are?”

Vex blushed. “You really should be talking about her, not me.”

Percy hummed. He ran his finger over the tiny hand that was sticking out of the swaddle she was in.

“We have a daughter, Vex. We have a little girl.”

Vex could feel her eyes begin to sting with tears. She blinked. “We do,” she mused. “How did we get so lucky?”

“I have been asking myself that for a very long time.”

There was a few minutes that passed in content silence where both of them just watched as the baby slept peacefully. Vex was trying her best to memorize every last feature of their daughter’s face when Percy spoke again.

“I think we should name her Elaina.”

Vex sat upright in surprise. “Percival…”

“It’s only right,” he continued. “You and I have a long future ahead of us. I just wish I had gotten to meet your mother. I know how much you miss her and your brother. I believe that our daughter is lucky to have such a diverse and wonderful family, as messed up as we all are. And I don’t want you to feel drowned out by all of the names we have on my end.”

“But, what about you? Percy, you have your entire family to name her after-“

“I’d suspect that in the future, we may have more children. I would much rather we carry memories of your mother and brother into the world.”

Vex was at a loss for words, but when she looked down at their daughter she knew it was only right. Elaina. It suited her perfectly.

“Elaina Cassandra,” she recited.

Percy chuckled. “Oh, she will be so pleased with that. You’re giving my sister a big head, you know.”

Vex smiled. “Full name and all. Elaina Cassandra Von Musel Klossowski de Rolo. All the frills and bits of noble names that your family is cursed with.”

“We don’t have to keep the names,” he offered.

“No. We honor both our families,” Vex said. “We combine our traditions, and we create a new meaning to our family. We bring them together.”

Percy kissed her forehead. “I love you very much, Vex’ahlia. You are much too good for me.”

Vex let her eyes flutter closed as she listened to Percy whisper to their daughter, telling her stories of their past and promises of the future.

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synthsizedproductions · 3 years

Text

Wildcard Wednesday #7: Unseen Adaptations Chapter One

Hey hey, guys, gals, and in between pals! We’ve gotten to our 7th Wildcard Wednesday! This week I bring you the first chapter of a story I was writing for National Novel Writing Month. This is a follow-up post to the Introduction of Unseen Adaptations and Wildcard Wednesday #3 and I would advise you to check it out before reading this chapter. This is a post-apocalyptic, coming-of-age story of two boys going through the Rite of Adaptation.

These chapters may not have specific names, content warnings, or pictures until I am focusing on this storyline, so viewer discretion is advised.

My apologies for this going up late, I thought I had scheduled it.

Hope you enjoy the show! ~ Chance

I glanced past the entrance to the narrow alley I had hidden in to avoid my father’s Warders. I had been in my temporary safe haven for nearly ten minutes and still I thought my heart was going to beat out of my chest while I waited to see if they would pass again. I leaned my head on the wall and caught my breath before slipping out of my hiding place and into a passing crowd. Not that I blended in well in my mismatched excuse of street clothes. I worked with what I could find around the manor, but the quality of cloth alone made me stand out among the common folk in their shabby clothes.

I split from the group when we reached the crowded entrance to the market square, pulling my hood down to avoid being recognized by a passing guard. It was a bit warm for the cloak, but nothing else was going to hide my distinctive features. Black hair wasn’t uncommon among the Shifters, but I had never met another person with a midnight blue shimmer like mine. Even when others tried to mimic my appearance, their shifting could never get the same effect.

I stared at the map posted on the wall outside the bustling square, trying to make out where I was with little success. I had turned down help from several strangers and interacted with passersby as little as possible. My father had people in his employ all over the city and I could never be certain who was a friendly commoner and who was a plainclothes Warder. It was better to be lost and look like a moron than face the wrath my father would rain down on me if he found out I was at the market.

I decided to test my luck and wandered through the boisterous crowd with no clue where I was going. I moved with the flow of the crowd, a twig in a steadily moving river of bodies. The sights, sounds, and smells overwhelmed me, the world blurring as the crowd continued to push me along. I made a few attempts to escape the throngs of people with limited success. I finally stumbled my way out of the crowd and sat on a public bench so my head could stop spinning. I expected this to be overwhelming, but the scope was beyond anything I experienced at even the most well-attended societal parties.

“You look kinda outta place, friend.” A boy my age wearing dusty clothes and scuffed boots approached me with a grin that spelled trouble. His deep orange hair was a mess, though it looked purposefully styled that way.

“What makes you say that? And I’m not your friend.” I nervously tugged on the hem of my hood.

The disheveled boy looked me up and down, shaking his head with a chuckle. “Sure thing, pal. I say that because you look like you dove into a Traveller’s clothes basket and walked out with whatever fool costume pieces that stayed on. Dunno what look you were going for, but you should reconsider your life choices. Who’re you hiding from wearing a getup like that?”

I stood and crossed my arms, taking note of any escape routes and finding limited options. “I’m not your pal and I’m not hiding. I just have a terrible fashion sense.”

He stared at me for a beat before bursting into laughter. “Hoo boy, bud. I don’t know who you’re trying to fool, but I can’t just let you walk about looking like you got mauled by a stage play. C’mon, I can find you some good replacements.” He extended a hand and grinned at me.

I took a step away from him with clenched fists. “I don’t think it’s a good idea to trust a stranger to lead me through an unfamiliar place. And I am not your bud.”

He took a step toward me. “Fine. I’m Vax, he/him.”

“Anak, he/him as well.” I glanced at his hand. “If you think this changes your stranger status, you’re mistaken.”

He huffed and shoved his hands in his pockets. “Fine. Be that way. I was gonna help you get out of this rodak’s nest, but you can rot in here for all I care.” He turned toward the crowd.

I grabbed his arm tightly. “No. Wait.”

Vax looked at me in a confused way. “You move fast, comrad. Ow, ow! Loosen the grip, man.”

I squeezed harder. “My name is Anak and that is what you will call me.” I released him from my grasp and took a few calming breaths.

Vax rubbed his arm with a scowl. “Okay, okay. I hear you. I was just trying to joke around. Lighten up.” He looked at the reddened handprint around his upper arm. “C’mon. There is a good place not far from here.”

Vax led me into the grouping of stalls filled with quickly moving people and shouting vendors. I tried to catch sight of the wares we were passing, but I was barely keeping up with Vax as it was. I dodged hurried shoppers and whipped around the corner I saw Vax turn. I ran into the solidly built teenager and stumbled to keep from falling into anyone else.

“Hey! You kept up! I wasn’t sure you would. Market’s a little busier than usual. Probably all those tourists who think they’ve got what it takes to get through that Rite thing.” He sneered at some of the passing visitors.

I glared at the back of his head. “They aren’t tourists. I doubt anyone goes through the Rite of Adaptation for the fun of it.” I tried to keep my offense hidden, but I knew my tone gave me away.

He grinned over his shoulder at me. “You sound like a tourist.” He laughed when I scowled at him. “Relax, Anak. I’m just kidding. You really do need to grow a sense of humor.” He began down the lane we had turned onto and I followed him despite my growing annoyance with my new companion.

I walked next to him in the less crowded lane. “I have a sense of humor. I just don’t find it funny to make light of something as serious as becoming an Adapted. Especially with the monster sieges.”

Vax rolled his eyes at me. “Monster sieges. I think they’re blown outta proportion. There just aren’t that many people reporting them anymore. Not down here among us common folk.” I didn’t like the knowing glint in his eye, but he stopped short in front of a clothing and accessory vendor. “Ah, here we go. This is the place.”

I walked around the stall with a baffled frown. None of the patterns seemed to match what I was used to seeing beyond the Gate. The vendors who came up to my family’s level wore bright colors and garish patterns. “Is there anything more interesting to wear?”

Vax tugged me away from the now annoyed shopkeeper with a nervous laugh. “Ignore my friend. He’s new in town.” He yanked me behind a clothing rack. “Are you insane? Don’t insult the product while the seller is right there. What’s wrong with you?”

I felt my face heat and I tugged at the hem of my hood again. “This isn’t what I thought I would find when I came down here. The tents and stalls are so vibrant.”

Vax shook his head. “Of course the stalls are garish. How else are they going to attract customers? Those tents and banners are not cheap and their colors have a lot to do with that. No one down here can afford things like that. You aren’t from around here, are you?”

I looked around nervously but we were fairly isolated in the corner he’d pulled me into. “No, not really. I thought this was more what I would find in the market.” I gestured to my outfit with a sigh.

He shook his head at me and pinched the bridge of his nose. “So, you from beyond the Wall or above the Gate? With this level of mismatching, I’m going to guess above the Gate.”

I gestured with my head toward the market’s exit. “Above the Gate. I wanted to come see what it was like down here. My father doesn’t let me wander around down here.”

Vax shook his head with a laugh. “You Gaters have the weirdest idea of what we wear down here. Tell you what, I’ll pick some clothes, you foot the bill. Sound good? Great.”

I examined my new clothes as I tried to make the unfamiliar garments fit properly. The cloth was far lower quality than I was used to and it was irritating my skin, but I did feel like I fit in better. “How do I look?”

Vax looked me up and down, turning me enough times to leave me dizzy. “Yeah, yeah. Looks good. I gave the shopkeep the coins, so we can head out.” He tugged on my arm.

“Oh, but I wanted to thank the owner for helping us pick things out.” I tried to pull my arm away as he dragged me from the stall.

“Don’t worry about that. Shopkeepers don’t usu-”

“Hey! You gotta pay for that stuff!” Vax forced me to duck as a jar crashed on the ground in front of us, blue smoke billowing out of it. “Get back here!”

I glared at the grinning boy next to me. “What is going on, Vax?”

He opened his mouth to speak, but grabbed me by both arms and spun me away from the fast approaching shopkeeper. “Talk later. Run now.” He yelped when another jar smashed at our feet and blue smoke blocked everything from view.

It burned to keep my eyes open and my lungs were refusing to accept the thick air. I fell to my knees and attempted to shield my face in the hope I could find a way out of the suffocating cloud. The edges of my vision began to darken and my ears were ringing so loud I thought my eardrums might burst. I had all but resigned myself to my fate when I was lifted from the ground. I couldn’t open my eyes enough to see who my rescuer was or where I was being taken. I didn’t care if it meant getting out of the acrid smoke. I could hear distant shouts as we disappeared into the depths of the market.

When I was finally set down again, I coughed so hard I thought I was going to throw up, puffs of blue smoke escaping my lungs in heavy clouds that sank to the ground immediately. I could still taste whatever was in the jars and no amount of spitting was fixing that.

I tried to figure out where I had been taken, but all I could make out was vague box shapes staked on top of each other. I looked up at the blurry person standing next to me, their face covered with a black and red mask. “Thanks for the rescue, my friend.” My voice was scratchy and speaking made my throat burn. My appreciation faded when it was Vax under the mask. “You.”

He smiled sheepishly as he coughed out a blue puff. “Me. Listen, I can explain what, oop!” He lept back when I lunged at him, not that I could aim well through the tears streaming down from my burning eyes. “Hey, hey! I’m trying to explain here!”

I glared in his general direction. “Explain what? That you tricked me into giving you my money and then used me to steal these things?” I gestured to my clothes which had a blue dusting over it.

Vax made sure to stay out of my reach as I took another blind swing. “If you had just left when I said we should, we would have been fine. Yipe!”

I managed to grab one of his ankles when he went to jump back again, dragging him to the ground with me. He kicked my hand to free himself before scurrying behind what I could now see was a stack of crates. I struggled to my feet, panting from the effort just breathing took. “If you had just paid him, we wouldn’t have needed to be fine!”

He gestured for me to quiet down and nervously glanced at the boarded up windows. “Listen, I get that you’re mad, but look at it from my perspective. You got plenty of money. That shopkeep’s got plenty of money. I’m just a poor kid trying to not starve out here. Not that you would understand what that’s like. You probably never went hungry a single day of your life up there behind your Opal Gate. But you need to keep your voice down or the guards will find us.”

I threw one of the stolen shoes at him. “So what? I’ll just explain that you tricked me into being part of this and surely they’ll just let me go when I give the clothes back.”

He caught the shoe and immediately threw it back at me. “Shows how much you know about how life works down here for us common people. You think they’ll care that you weren’t a willing accomplice? You’re wearing the stolen goods. There is no way they’ll believe your story. Not when you’re brought in with me.”

I swatted the shoe away and attempted to get the second one off with far less grace than the first. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“It means you boys are in a lot of trouble.”

I saw Vax’s face go pale as he hid behind the crates despite knowing it would do him no good. I looked over my shoulder at the annoyed guard standing in the doorway. He stepped aside as four other guards stomped their way in, one grabbing me by each arm while the other two had to wrangle Vax.

I struggled against them with no result. “But I didn’t do anything wrong! I can explain everything, I promise.”

The guard shrugged in a bored way. “You can explain when we get to the jail. Not that it will do you any good after the Council’s declaration about zero tolerance while there are so many visitors to the city. Next time, don’t trust a street rat. Take them away.”

The guards pulled me out of the musty storage room. “I’m not a visitor, though! I just came down from the Opal Gate to see what the market was like.”

He shrugged again with a laugh. “Oh, good. Then you can be someone else’s problem.”

#Wildcard #Adapted

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mrandmrsvex · 6 years

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Chapters: 3/? Relationships: Percival "Percy" Fredrickstein Von Musel Klossowski de Rolo III/Vex'ahlia Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Sharing a Bed, Basically all the tropes, Critmas, Christmas

Summary:

„Could you repeat that, please?“ „“You heard what I said, Percy.“ „I did. I'd still like you to repeat it, simply to make sure my mind isn't playing tricks on me. Because this sounds like something from your brother's mind, not yours.“ „All I asked was if you wanted to spend Christmas with me at my father's place, and make him think that you... that we're... that I have a boyfriend.“

Chapter 1: Driving Home for Christmas

„Could you repeat that, please?“

„“You heard what I said, Percy.“

„I did. I'd still like you to repeat it, simply to make sure my mind isn't playing tricks on me. Because this sounds like something from your brother's mind, not yours.“

Vex sighed and stirred her coffee. They were sitting in the most non-descript Starbucks she'd ever seen – oh, there were many nicer and more familiar little coffee shops dotted through town, but in any of them, they'd stand a chance to be met by someone of their surprisingly large group of friends. And having to awkwardly explain why she was having coffee alone with the newest addition to that group would be bad enough – if any of them overheard her proposition, it would be even worse.

„All I asked was if you wanted to spend Christmas with me at my father's place, and make him think that you... that we're... that I have a boyfriend.“

Percy only sipped on his coffee – he was most definitely used to better – and looked at her over the rim of his cup, one eyebrow raised high even above his glasses. At any other time, Vex would have had to admit that this pensive look of his was annoyingly attractive, especially focussed on her – right now it was only making her nervous in a bad way. She needed to make this deal. She hadn't expected him to be quite so indifferent.

„I mean, you told me that you're not doing anything for Christmas, really, with your sister staying at university with her friends. And you're pretty much the only one of our group who knows his way around an estate. And the only one sly enough to keep our story up without mistakes.“

Two little stabs against him, followed by a bit of flattery. She'd learned that it usually worked with Percy, and it seemed to work now – he leaned back in his chair, still looking at her, but far less tense than before.

„And why do you need a fake boyfriend for your christmas with Dad? From what I remember, it's usually you and your brother that team up to give him the finger at any occasion where you have to deal with him.“

„Yes. Usually.“ Vex stirred her coffee once again – her cup was twice as full as his was at this point, and getting cold. But she hadn't invited him here to drink coffee, really. „Except this year, because my brother's managed to find an actually reliable excuse with Keyleth on why he can't follow up on our father's invite.“

„I would've thought your father would want to meet this new girlfriend of Vax's. Did she not get invited?“

„Oh, she did. But her father has decided to give her her christmas gift early, and it turns out to be a double ticket for a trip all across the country, and they've suspiciously decided to cash it in right now, so they're probably going to be... somewhere, in the wilderness, during christmas.“

It was a brilliant excuse, and Vex had a hard time admitting that her brother was lucky to use it. She was more busy with being angry at him for leaving her to deal with it all alone.

„I understand that you don't want to go alone, but why fake an entire relationship? Take Zahra with you, and watch your father's head explode trying not to say anything inappropriate to your on-again off-again girlfriend.“

„I thought of that.“ She hadn't. To be fair, she hadn't thought of Zahra for quite a while. That nagging image of the beautiful white-haired lady in her head during lonely moments had been replaced by someone with equally white hair, but so far, she'd refused to think of it more clearly. „I really can't take Zahra. Not after last year's debacle with Vax and Gilmore. I mean, I do want to annoy my father, but I also kind of want to enjoy christmas for a little bit and not spend it fighting all the time.“

„Stay home, then. Make up a fake boyfriend here in town, and that you're invited to his family's this year, and tell your dad how rude it would be to decline their lovely invite in favour of his cynical one. That way you get out of the whole situation and get to enjoy christmas however you like it.“

However I like it, she thought. The way she liked it was most definitely not sitting at home with Trinket, while her brother was away with his new lady and all her friends had someone to celebrate with except for her. She'd even rather face her father alone instead of that – but she simply couldn't. She really needed this deal with Percy, but there was no apparent getting forward.

„Ok, alright, fine. I guess I'll have to be completely honest here, goddamnit. You really know how to push my buttons.“ She sighed and rubbed across her eyes, not noticing the soft smile that flashed across his face for a second.

„I can't do anything else, no matter what you or I or anyone else thinks of doing that's more reasonable. I wanted to call my father to tell him I'm not coming without Vax, but I got his wife instead. And, god, she's just so nice. So happy to have me visit for the holiday. So I panicked and couldn't think of another excuse and I thought, if I asked to bring a random guy they've never heard of, even she would say no, but she didn't. It got her even more excited to meet my new boyfriend who I made up on the spot.“

It all rushed out in an angry rant against herself, but she was still conscious enough to omit the part where she had immediately thought of him as the new boyfriend to bring – it was only, she convinced herself, because Percy was exactly the kind of guy her father would both like and hate to see as her partner. Wealthy and of a good position, able to better his delinquent daughter's status on one side. Actually wealthier and of a far better status than himself on the other side. And vindictive enough to jab back at any comment her father could make that would only make her rage. She'd seen Percy tear into strangers in the politest way possible when they were too quick to judge his new friends. She could imagine him do it just as perfectly against her father. She kind of wanted to see it, actually.

Her thoughts were interrupted by Percy's laugh. It wasn't loud, all-out laughter, more an amused giggle that slightly grew larger, but it was definitely more than what she was used to from him. She could count the moments of him laughing on one hand, and he definitely never did more than a short snort or grin if they were in larger company. She tried everything she could to make him laugh, but there was no time to cherish it now. He'd already stopped and leaned forward, a wicked smile on his face.

„Vex, if you'd just started with the truth of you getting yourself into situations you didn't assess properly because of your hotheadedness, I would've said yes right away.“ He emptied his cup and his smile turned softer, yet still wicked. „Alright, I'll come with you for christmas. It might actually be enjoyable to watch the chaos unfold.“

„Thank you for driving, as well.“

The 4 hour drive had been surprisingly pleasant. She already knew that Percy could be a decent conversational partner if only his mind was focussed on something else as well, so he couldn't constantly overthink everything he said. And focussing on driving safely through the more and more snow-filled countryside seemed to work.

„Well, I thought if you wanted to make a grand entrance for shock as I expect from you, we probably shouldn't show up in the heap of rust and ducttape that was once your VW beetle.“

He was the only one allowed to talk about her car derisively - if only because she could hear the hint of affection in his voice. Ever since they'd met a year ago, he had been working on her car at least once a month, fixing little hitches and larger problems. It was by now more of a project of his than a car of hers.

„Besides, I wouldn't want to drive in anything that unsafe through this snow.“

He shifted to slow down a bit, and Vex remembered the old newspaper clipping that Pike had quietly told her about. The one detailling the story of how the most influental business man of the area had crashed his car in a snowstorm. How the car behind him, equally filled with family, wasn't able to break quickly enough. How the only ones the Emergency Services could save hours later were a young boy and his little sister. She suddenly realised that Percy offering to drive them both was far more than just a small gesture.

A quiet rustling sound behind them snapped her back to the present. Trinket had gotten up in the backseat and was sniffing around Percy's headrest. Luckily she managed to push the large dog back before he could lick across his ear.

„Trinket, down!“ She turned to Percy, who seemed unfaced by it all. It had happened about 4 times during the drive so far, after all. „And I'm really sorry about Trinket shedding all over the backseat. I promise I'll clean it when we get back home. I just couldn't... the kennel is really expensive.“ That, and she really hoped for a calming pile of fur to cuddle at night after facing her father.

„It's fine, Vex. I've transported worse with this car.“ His mind flashed back to the one and only time he'd offered to play designated driver while on a night out with Grog and Pike and shuddered. „We should be arriving pretty soon, anyway.“

Trinket gave a short, dissatisfied snort before turning to the bag of gifts next to him. Vex reached back even further to shoo him away. She hadn't bought much – not like her father would be interested in it anyway – but showing up empty-handed had been out of the question, and even Vax had left her a small gift for their younger sister. She was far more surprised that Percy had brought his own little bag of neatly wrapped boxes.

„It's very sweet of you to get something for Velora, by the way. She'll love you for it, and so will her mum.“

„Well, I assumed that the rest of the gifts would be from 'us', so to speak.“ They hadn't really talked any further about their fabricated relationship, and Vex wondered if maybe they should've set some guidelines, but assumed that Percy would play along well enough.

„Yes, obviously. But then who's the rest of your boxes for?“ She couldn't help but grin, but he only answered it with his own smirk.

„You wouldn't expect me to forget Trinket, would you?“

„They're here! She's here! It's Vex'ahlia!“

She could hear Velora's happy shouting even through closed car doors as they parked next to her father's ridiculous top-of-the-line sportscar – Vex relished the far more polished look of Percy's well-kept Oldtimer standing out against the showboating of the modern car.

The little girl standing at the front door was excitedly jumping up and down, waving at them until Vex waved back, then ducking inside shouting again for her parents.

The whole trip was probably worth it just for Velora's big smile.

„So this is your father's estate. Quite something for an ambassador.“

Percy was politely understating and they both knew it. Syldor had not been happy with his contract until they included the most modern, painful architecture of a house as possible, and a garden to match it.

Vex remembered her teenage years in this house and thought back the beautiful, historic Whitestone mansion that Percy had brought her and their friends back to once, after a trip together, casually mentioning that he had a 'place to stay' halfway back into town when it was getting dark. Compared to her father's stark grey, minimalist house, Whitestone seemed like a fairytale castle to her.

Percy's mind seemed to work over the same thing.

„I can't really tell just from the front – is it about the size of Whitestone? It might be a bit larger, even. What a place for such a little family.“

„It's always about size with you men, isn't it.“ She snickered, especially when Percy playfully swatted at her arm.

„I was just wondering how your boyfriend's home measured up to your father's. I am here to make him feel inferior, right? That's part of the plan, even if you won't admit it.“

It was easy enough to avoid an answer by picking their luggage out of the trunk, but Vex had quietly assumed that he'd seen through all of her plan the moment she'd asked for his help anyway. Percy, meanwhile, opened the backdoor to a flurry of brown fur jumping and running down the gravel walk to the front door before Vex could say anything to stop him.

„Lord, that- DOG!“ was the first thing they heard of the deep, stoic voice of Syldor, followed by a delighted „Trinket!“ from Velora and a lot of slobbery noises and giggling. Her father stood in the door by now, looking them both up and down as they walked up to him.

„We expected you a bit sooner. I'm afraid lunch is already over.“

„There was an awful lot of snow on the roads. Better safe than sorry, right? But don't worry, we stopped at a lovely place two towns over to eat something.“

It could have been a perfectly normal chat if it weren't for the biting tone in both their voices. Vex had already pushed past him into the hallway, quickly followed by Percy, who almost stumbled over Trinket's wagging tail while Velora scratched the dog's ears. Her mother Devana had arrived right behind her by now.

She greeted Vex with a genuinely happy „Welcome home, my dear!“ and a hug before turning to Percy. „Oh, and you're the young man she told us about!“

„I don't recall the name, unfortunately.“ Syldor chimed in from the side, but before Vex could react, she saw a perfectly fake smile appear on Percy's face.

„I'm terribly sorry about that. We really should have met sooner, at any rate.“ He offered her father his hand. „Percival Fredrickstein von Musel Klossowski de Rolo the Third.“

Vex heard Velora below her quietly gasp as she stared up at the tall man, who now bent down slightly towards her after shaking Syldor and Devana's hands. „You can call me Percy, though, that's far easier to remember.“

Vex didn't take in much for the next few minutes. It was friendly chatter, basic questions about their drive and the weather and how wonderful it was to have snow for christmas, and how used to it Percy must be, coming from the North, and how nice it was to finally meet him. She was much more focussed on watching her father instead, his face shifting ever so slightly from the usually detached mask to a furrowed brow. All Percy had to do was give him his name, she thought, to make him feel bad already.

Luckily she noticed Devana turning to her and shared a quick smile with her.

„I figure you want to put your bags down and maybe rest a bit. Let me show you to the guesthouse – we had it made ready for you this morning!“ „Guesthouse.“ She echoed.

„Yes. We built it only this year after far too many visitors to accomodate in the main.“ Syldor's smile was not even half as friendly as his wife's. „It's just past the patio.“

Not even ten minutes, and she was already shooed out of the house like... well, like an unwelcome relative, Vex thought, when she suddenly felt a hand in hers, squeezing ever so slightly, and looked up at Percy.

„That sounds rather nice, doesn't it, Vex? We'll have some privacy from time to time.“

She wasn't sure what she enjoyed more – her father's brow furrowing even further at the edge of her vision, Devana's short chuckle, or the strange twinkle in Percy's eyes.

„It actually is quite a nice guesthouse.“ Percy sounded as surprised as Vex was once they'd gotten inside and Devana had left them alone.

It was more of a bungalow than a house, definitely a bit further away from the mansion than 'just past the patio', not that she cared. A small living room with a kitchenette – good coffee, Percy would be happy about that – and a bathroom with an actual tub. And a cozy bedroom, she deducted as she opened the last door to carry her luggage inside and stopped still at the sight of the large bed in front of her.

„Oh. Well.“ Percy had followed right behind her, it seemed, as she heard his voice directly into her ear. „The couch looks large enough.“

„Don't be ridiculous.“ Vex turned around a bit too fast, hitting him in the chest with her shoulder before he could step back. „It's a large enough bed, and it's only for a few nights. I've shared with Vax a thousand times, and he's never complained. I'm not a bad bed partner, apparently.“

„He's your brother.“

„Well then I've shared a bed with Grog or Gilmore on some trips as well, and they haven't complained either.“

„It's really not about-“ Percy sighed. His face was hard to read at times, but Vex wondered if she wasn't detecting a hint of very strong embarassment before he shifted back to his usual demeanor. „Alright. Fine. I hope you don't hog the covers, though.“

„Don't worry. It doesn't get nearly as cold as in Whitestone around here.“

He mumbled something she couldn't really make out before setting down his own bag on a chair at the end of the room and began to unpack. She watched him for a minute, almost absent-mindedly – his movements were still so new to her, and she couldn't resist the urge to study them. She could tell all of her friends from quite a distance simply based on their moving, a habit she developed for far worse things when she and Vax were younger. It was better to notice shifty behaviour or dangerous people from a distance rather than up close. But they were in a better place now, and her talent was worth not much more than being able to order their friend's drink long before they'd even found them in the pub and surprise them with it.

Still, she wanted to put Percy's to memory as well. He was slow in a very careful way, and precise. No movement seemed unecessary, everything was calculated. Vex wondered if he ever did or said anything without thinking it through at least three times. Then again, he seemed less decided and cock-sure whenever he was faced with the wit of the twins... or her alone.

„I wonder how long it'll take before we can make your father's head implode from sheer frowning.“ He turned to her with a grin, and she was glad her eyes shifted up quickly enough to not be noticed.

„If you keep flashing your title and flirting with his daughter right in front of him, probably just a few hours.“

„You just let me know if I take it too far. Preferably with a hard kick against the shin under the table, anything else I probably won't notice. We haven't really talked about this fake relationship beforehand.“

„Don't worry, darling. I don't think you could ever take it too far.“

She'd vanished towards the kitchen before he could stammer out a reply.

Her father's christmas dinner was smaller than usual – a few select and actually polite guests, rather than the party he used to throw when the twins were younger. Vex watched Devana sitting next to Velora, who happily turned her potatoes into mashed ones with her fork while the adults held conversations above her head, and wondered just how much they both had changed her father.

He was still more than enough of a pretentious idiot, though. Percy had been introduced as simply „Percy, Vex'ahlia's boyfriend“ - and kept repeating his full name almost in defiance while Vex grinned at the guest's various reactions to it and her father's face turning more and more sour.

Other than that, neither she nor Percy had much to fight against. Her father had decidedly seated them as far away from him as possible, it seemed, to avoid any discussions. Conversation with others at their table was light, and people seemed more interested in Percy's family business than his relationships.

Except for the traditionally eccentric and loud aunt that every family seemed to have – even one as cold and distant as Syldor's.

„So, now, you lovebirds!“ Aunt Sidiah sounded as if she'd had at least 2 more glasses of wine than anyone else. „Tell me, tell me more! Tell me everything!“

„I think everything might be a bit too much.“

„Oh, don't be like that, Vex! It's just such a rare thing for you to show interest in a boy, let alone bring him home! Not like your brother.“

Percy couldn't help but grin – he'd only just become a part of their friend group when Vax had decided to bring Gilmore to easter brunch at Dad's, but he had heard the only slightly exaggerated tale at their own brunch afterwards. Apparently Gilmore's glorious attire and behaviour didn't mesh well with Syngorn's high society, which was surprising, considering how much class the man could show if he wanted to – but maybe he and Vax hadn't wanted to.

„So tell me! How did you meet? When?“

„I'm afraid it's a rather boring story.“ Percy was quicker on the draw than Vex. „We were at the same New Years party last year – shared friends, you know – and both without a date, so I guess we were sort of left alone together. I don't know how much of it was on purpose.“ He winked at Vex, who was surprisingly quick to look down at her food. „We met for coffee a week later, and it just went on from there.“

It wasn't a lie, she thought. He didn't know the part where she'd annoyed her brother for a week that she had no New Years date to kiss at midnight while Vax had two, and maybe he hadn't noticed the wide grin on Keyleth's face when she'd introduced them to each other at the party. And he was simply polite enough to omit the bit where she'd drunkenly plastered a fat smooch on him at midnight. She remembered his bright red face and his flustered stammer, and the tiny smile that crept up before Grog with his novelty glasses smashed them both together in a bear hug.

Coffee a week later was more of a group tradition, anyway. He'd kept a chair for her when she was late, with his big bright coat.

„So it's almost your anniversary, then!“ Aunt Sidiah clapped her hands together. „Are you planning anything special?“ A wink. „Maybe a ring?“

Now Vex was faster. „I'd say a year is maybe a bit too early for that. I think fun at a regular NYE party will be enough for us.“

„And a gift.“ Percy smiled, and it didn't seem as fake as it had for the rest of the evening.

„If you want, darling.“

„Oh, always."

#Perc'ahlia #Percy #Vex'ahlia #Critical Role #Crit Role #Vox Machina #Percival Fredrickstein Von Musel Klossowski de Rolo III

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