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keyboardink · 3 years

Text

“crushed”

Sam and Deena are completely oblivious that their feelings are mutual, especially when Sam thinks Deena and Kate are together and Peter enters the picture.

pairing: samantha “sam” fraser x deena johnson / media: fear street trilogy

genre: friends to lovers, angst with hurt/comfort & fluff / word count: 2.6k / rating: pg-13 / warnings: bullying, a bit of swearing

a/n: so this is an au where deena and sam aren’t exes so sam never left shadyside (& kate isn’t all “screw ur ex” ya know). also kate is bi and no one dies. this is based mainly off 1994 (since 1666 hasn’t come out yet haha). please lmk if you like this & want more fear street fics from me. enjoy! :)

"I still can't believe you're dating a Sunnyvaler," Kate said, popping a potato chip into her mouth.

"Doesn't that totally go against the rules of this town?" Simon chimed in, stealing a tater tot from Sam's lunch tray.

"Oh, please," Sam scoffed, swatting Simon's hand away as he reached for a second piece. "He's actually a nice guy if you got to know him."

"Since when has the star quarterback ever been a nice guy?" Kate replied, earning a raised eyebrow from Simon. "Look, just because I cheer for them doesn't mean I like them."

The stiff wooden table rattled as Deena dropped into a seat across from Sam and next to Kate. She tried to pull her bomber jacket around herself quickly--

"New shirt?" Kate asked.

--but she wasn't quick enough.

"No," Deena sighed, letting the jacket hang open to expose a black, skin-tight tank top underneath. It used to be her favorite, previously baggy in all the right places, but it returned from her last laundry day one-size-too-small. "It just shrunk in the wash and I was running late." She kept her eyes down, focused on the unappetizing cafeteria food in front of her.

Kate eyed her for a moment, then looked over at Sam, who was practically drooling over this new shirt that provided a perfect V-shaped view from where she was sitting.

"I know you're not a fan of tight clothes," Kate countered, "but it looks nice on you. Makes your boobs look amazing."

Deena playfully elbowed Kate's arm, a small smile brightening her downcast expression.

Sam watched the two girls as it unfolded - the low-cut shirt, the raised eyebrows from Kate as she scanned Deena's body, the laughter following her joking shove. Had she imagined the flickers of lighthearted tension between them? She averted her gaze, envy bubbling up in her throat. She pulled her tucked hair out from behind her ears to cover the burning, red blush she felt building there.

"So, what were you guys talking about?" Deena asked, insecurity still swimming in her mind despite Kate's compliment. She looked up at Sam, who appeared to be too interested in her tater tots to hear the shirt dilemma. Although she was somewhat relieved, she felt a pang of disappointment at Sam's disinterest; she was the only person Deena had hoped would look at her.

"Sam's got a new boyfriend," Simon answered, his voice half-muffled by a mouthful of dull-brown burger, oblivious to the sideways glances being thrown around the table.

"And he's from Sunnyvale," Kate added, spitting out the town name as though it tasted worse than the school lunch.

"What? Isn't that, like, against town law or something?"

"That's what I'm saying!" Simon accidentally spewed small chunks of meat on his tray in the midst of his excitement.

"What's his name?" Deena covered herself with her jacket again.

"Peter."

"Peter? Oh, come on, you could've at least picked a guy who didn't have a basic name," Simon rolled his eyes, as if 'Simon' was the most unique name on the planet.

"Honestly, yeah, kinda sounds a little too basic," Deena said, her eyebrows furrowed. She felt a heat tightening within her chest. She was angry at herself, at Sam, at the world.

"I'm not making him up, if that's what you're suggesting." Sam cast a glare across the table, but it didn't stop them.

"Which Peter? I mean, there's Peter Williams, Peter Anderson, Peter Moore..." Simon counted along on his fingers.

"Oh, no," Deena interrupted, a smirk pulling her lips. "He goes to another school. You wouldn't know him."

The two threw their heads back and laughed. Deena felt the fury in her chest loosen slightly, a bit of relief found in the pain she caused others. It was her defense mechanism: when the world turns to shit, you act even worse - that's how you survive.

Sam was on her feet, her eyes full of tears and frustration. "His name's Peter Brody, and he's number 29 on the Sunnyvale football team, and he's actually a good fucking guy, unlike you." Her eyes narrowed, focusing on Deena, who suddenly didn't find the whole thing all that funny anymore.

And with that, Sam picked up her lunch tray, turned on her heel, and walked out of the cafeteria.

***

Monday dragged on, every class seeming longer than usual for both Sam and Deena as they sat in separate silences. Though apart, they each felt the same waves of guilt, anger, and sadness wash over them in cycles as clocks ticked their way to the end of the school day.

Deena was walking out of band practice, which had only extended her already-exhausting day, when she spotted a familiar head of blonde leaning against the cinder-block wall across the hallway.

"Hey," Sam said, reaching her hand out slightly. Her hair was tied back, adorned with an azure bow, and she wore her cheerleading uniform to match.

Deena stopped as guilt flooded her lungs once again. "Hey," she replied in a whisper muffled by her emotions.

"I just got out of practice. Want to walk together?"

Deena could tell Sam was lying. Kate normally waited with her, and they would both be shiny with sweat. The water bottle in Sam's hand was almost empty, meaning she had likely been waiting for quite a while.

Deena nodded, and they started to make their way towards the exit that led to the student lot.

"I just wanted to say sorry," Sam began, "for earlier. It was pretty shitty of me to say that."

"Yeah, but I was being shitty, too." Deena pushed open the heavy, navy-blue door. Sunlight blinded both of them. "I just can't believe you'd get a boyfriend and not tell me."

Sam stayed silent, unable to come up with a reply. Deena had been the first person she wanted to tell, but Kate saw Peter grab her ass after last weekend's game, and suddenly her boyfriend was all anyone could talk about. Sam didn't even know why she had agreed to go out with him in the first place. Everyone had said it must've been a prank, because why else would a Sunnyvaler date a Shadysider? Something about the whole relationship gave Sam a twinge of nausea if she thought about it too much, so she just tried not to think about it.

But she had wanted to tell Deena. She had wanted to see if she would be even a little jealous at the idea of her having a boyfriend. It just hadn't played out that way.

"See you tomorrow?" Sam said, stopping at the curb.

"Is your dad picking you up?" Deena looked around for the familiar, beat-up Ford that Sam's father drove, but to no avail.

"He should be here soon."

Deena knew he had a tendency to flake on his daughter, despite being the one who got custody in their divorce battle. Although Deena hated him for his neglect, she was silently, selfishly grateful that Sam didn't move to Sunnyvale with her mom. Regardless, if her dad wasn't here now, the sun would probably set before he'd remember to show up.

"Come on," Deena said. "I'll drive you home."

The drive was almost-silent. A disc played Pixies at a volume low enough to just barely understand over the sound of rumbling tires on uneven gravel. Sam's house was a bit out of the way for Deena, but as she was slowly realizing, she'd do almost anything for her.

"Thanks for the ride," Sam smiled sheepishly, pulling her backpack up from the floor. She started to open the car door, then hesitated. "Actually, wait, can I ask you something?"

Deena's heart leapt into her throat. "Shoot."

"Are you and Kate, um... like, together, at all?"

"What? No, no no no." A chuckle slipped past Deena's lips at the idea.

Sam must've thought Deena was laughing at her, because she felt her ears grow warm in embarrassment. "Oh, sorry, I just thought... I saw how you two were at lunch today and it just, I don't know. I thought you weren't telling me something." Sam looked at her sneakers, almost pristine white with the exception of faded grass stains on the toes.

"No, we're just friends, I promise. We've been best friends forever. I mean, she was there when I first got boobs, so, I mean, that's just how we are." Deena immediately cringed at that sentence. Way to make it better, dumbass, she thought.

"Oh. Okay. She just talks about you all the time to me, whenever we're at practice, you know? She'll say things like 'Damn, didn't Deena look really good today?' to me, like, all the time."

Deena let herself laugh at that. "Oh, really? Wooow. Good to know."

"I mean, from that I just kind of assumed that you guys had a thing. How could I not, right?"

Deena nodded, understanding that Kate's comments were her attempts at being a good wingman and not confessions of underlying feelings. "Kate and I both like girls, yeah, but not each other, not like that." Deena's gaze flickered over Sam's face, taking in her eyes, her ears, her lips. "Definitely not like that," she added in a soft whisper.

Sam looked up and smiled sweetly, her stare lingering for a moment too long before she returned to the moment. "Well, thanks again for the ride. See you tomorrow." She gave an adorable little wave as she stepped out of Deena's car.

"See ya," Deena replied, her stomach fluttery.

***

The days passed, and the friend group of four had returned to almost-normal. The only thing out of place happened on Friday night, after the second football game of the season. Normally, they would all grab pizza and watch a movie after the game, but this time was different.

"Peter invited me to a Sunnyvale party," Sam explained when they met in the middle of the field as the crowd started to file out. "Maybe next week?"

So Deena, Kate, and Simon ate their pizza without Sam, feeling a tangible emptiness where she would normally be.

Kate's house was on the so-called "good side" of town, where the roads had less potholes and the houses had more structure. It was the most Sunnyvale-esque part of Shadyside. Her living room was homey, with family portraits on the walls and a couch that was lived-in but not worn-out. They had rented Candyman from the town's Blockbuster, which played on Kate's boxy TV.

"I don't like this," Simon said, chewing a pepperoni slice.

Kate responded without looking at him. "The pizza or the movie?"

"Actually, I like both of those things," Simon replied with conviction. "I was talking about Sam. It feels... I don't know, lonely?"

"What are we, chopped liver?" Deena joked.

"I mean, some days you can come close to it," he teased back.

They all returned their attention to the movie, red and white light bouncing across their faces. As if on cue, there was a knock on the door at the exact moment a jump-scare flashed on-screen, causing the trio to startle.

"I'll get it," Deena offered, jumping up from her seat.

She opened the front door to reveal Sam, tears rolling down her cheeks. Her hair was slick and her blue uniform looked damp. Her arms were wrapped around herself as she shivered in the cool October air.

"What the fuck happened?" Deena stepped out of the way to let Sam in.

Simon and Kate scrambled to join them when they realized who had arrived.

"Oh my God, what happened?" Kate plucked her school cardigan off the coatrack and wrapped it around Sam's shoulders.

"Did Petey break up with you?" Simon asked. "I mean, you guys were only dating a week. It couldn't've been that serious, right?"

Kate elbowed Simon in the stomach at his insensitive comment, eliciting a pained groan from him.

Sam hugged the cardigan around herself, but moved her arms enough to reveal "IT" scribbled in black Sharpie under her cheerleading uniform's "SH".

"What the fuck?" Deena repeated, this time more to herself than Sam.

"God, those assholes really have no idea how much uniforms cost," Kate muttered.

"And they... they p-poured ice water on m-me," Sam stuttered just as Simon returned from the living room with a throw blanket. She gave him a grateful smile as she enveloped herself in it.

"C'mon, let's sit down, alright?" Kate suggested. "You want a hot cocoa?"

Sam nodded and followed Deena and Simon to the couch, while Kate split off to the kitchen.

"They poured ice water on you?" Deena asked as she sat next to Sam, a hand around her shoulders.

"Th-they got someone to hold my arms back so they c-could write 'shit' on me, and then someone came outside with a bucket, and-" A small sob came out of Sam's throat, and another tear rolled down her cheek.

Deena didn't stop herself before reaching up and wiping it away. She let her fingers stay there for a moment, unable to think clearly.

Simon stood up quietly, making a hushed excuse about helping Kate with the hot chocolate before disappearing into the kitchen.

"He's such a douchebag," Deena muttered, furious that someone would hurt such a sweet creature like Sam. "I'm so sorry. I'll kick his ass for you."

Sam chuckled at her offer. "Can I watch?"

Deena laughed softly at her response, then realized that her hand was still pressed against Sam's cheek and pulled it away. She let it fall onto her leg, but Sam reached over and rested her own hand on Deena's.

After a minute of silence, Sam had almost stopped sniffling when she spoke again. "I don't even know why I agreed to go out with him. Like, damn, he's not even that hot. I could've at least gotten played by a hot guy." Sam half-giggled at herself then sighed. "I should've seen it coming."

"Hey, it's not your fault," Deena said, placing her other hand on top of Sam's. Her hand was cold and delicate between hers, and she hoped that holding it would provide some warmth to her.

"If I'm being honest," Sam continued, "I think I only really went out with him to forget about this other crush."

"Hold up, you never told me about that. Who is it?"

Deena's obliviousness faded away as Sam looked up at her with wide eyes. The jealousy, the talk in her car, the longing that filled the space between them now - at this moment, it all clicked into place.

"Oh," Deena whispered.

"Deena," Sam spoke, hushed as she leaned forward. "Can I...?"

"Please," Deena breathed as their lips touched, soft and scared and new all at once. The thought of crossing a line beyond the point of return flashed through their minds, but it seemed as though they both wanted to push the boundaries. Sam's free hand cupped Deena's cheek shyly, as Deena squeezed her other hand between hers. They treated each other carefully, as though kissing too hard might break the other, which would be a crime worse than death.

"YES!" Kate shouted, giving Simon a high-five. Some hot chocolate spilled out of the mug in her other hand and onto the floor, but they were both too enthusiastic to care.

"Finally, you guys!" Simon ran over to them, wrapping them both in a wide hug from behind the couch as a giant grin spread on his face.

"You guys were watching?!" Deena asked. She felt her cheeks flush as she pulled away.

"Duh!" Simon answered. "We've been waiting for this!"

"Took you guys for-fucking-ever," Kate said with a smile, handing Sam her cup.

Sam held the cup up to her newly-warmed lips, courtesy of Deena, and took a sip, looking over the edge at her. Deena saw her blue eyes crinkle into a smile, and her mouth returned the sweet sentiment.

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